#on that note i think baby is general enough term | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

silentcryracha · 1 year ago

Note

Hey 🌷 so I was absolutely smitten over the Hyunjin Baby fever series and would like to request some headcanons for all skz as new dads 😩

Hi love <3 Thank you so much for reading! Apparently a lot of people got a soft spot for that 'series', and it makes me so happy lol

Of course, dad! skz coming right up!

warnings: afab reader, term wife is used, mention of pregnancy, mention of pain and giving birth (no graphic/descriptions), the gender of the babies is never specified

word count: 3.5k

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Chan - From the exact moment he knew you were pregnant you became his number one priority. I mean, you already were, but things could always go south in a marriage/relationship. But he would never, ever, let things go 'south' with his kid. Absolutely not.

He was attentive and very helpful thought the whole thing, including the actual birth, to which I'm sure he would've been in the room for. He'd 100% cry as soon as he holds his baby. He probably wouldn't even try to hold in the sobs as he leans down gently to kiss your forehead, showering you with praises and love.

'You did so well, my love, you're so strong' 'I love you so much, you know it right? You were so brave, my baby' . Would also thank you for giving him such a precious gift any chance he gets.

I feel like he'd take a hiatus for a while. Of course he would've done it anyway to be at home with you and help you, but he also wanted to be present as much as possible.

I feel like while he basically needs someone to drag him away from his work generally, in this case the decision would be the easiest of his life. He could almost be scared to get sucked in his overworking and not pay enough attention to you and his child, so he'd just take both a physical and mental hiatus.

But, I do think that he would feel very inspired especially lyrically, and maybe keep tabs and notes of inspiration that he would use later on. He'd be so inspired by this new kind of love that he's feeling.

Would absolutely be the perfect dad and husband. Taking turns both day and night to change diapers, feeding, bathing, dressing, playing with the baby and so on. I can't help but imagine him constantly having to cuddle his baby :(

He would pick them up, lulling them into his arms to make them stop crying or to sleep. He'd love to just hold them and walk them around showing them new things, like looking out of the window, or some mundane action like preparing their own milk/food. That's his new best friend for sure.

He would also love, safely, to let the child either rest or play on your shared bed, with their mom and dad at each of their side to watch over them :(

He'd sing to them, play the guitar and piano for them, and generally would try so bad to get the baby to enjoy/recognize his own music and voice.

The members would become instantly the privileged uncles. And I'm pretty sure that at least two of them would be named the kid's godparents. My bets would be on Minho and Changbin. Maybe Felix.

Minho - Minho starts behaving like a father way before the baby is born. Because now, his job would be to baby you. He'd make sure that you rest as much as possible, but also try to make activities that would help you physically. Absolutely he's the one that signs you up for prenatal classes, and would make sure to not miss a single one.

He's the kind of man that would rebuild his whole life and routine just to serve you. He'd become your personal driver, shopper, cook, exercise buddy, cuddler and motivational speaker. You need something? Just say it and he'll make it happen.

Now, of course he'd be in the delivery room. Of course. Because I also would imagine that you'd feel lost without him at your side after all those months he spent with you and taking care of you. He would be freaking out inside but he'd keep it cool for you, trying to help you breathe properly, checking in with the medics to make sure that everything was going smoothly, and encouraging you a lot.

'Okay kitten, you heard the doc, right? It's 7 centimeters of dilatation, so you just gotta hang in there for a bit more.' 'I know it hurts my darling, I'm so sorry, if I could take all your pain I would'

When the time comes he'd hold your hand, or better, he'd let you squeeze it, without saying 'ah'. He'd also peek once in a while to check the situation, out of concern and curiosity, which made you scold him for embarrassing you. But he'd say that it's nothing he hasn't seen before or something like that lol

Lee Minho never cries. But not even he could resist getting chocked up when he first heard his baby's cries. He watched quietly as the nurses brought it to your chest, caressing your hair gently and kissing your head and temple while he quietly praised you. 'You did so well, kitten' 'You're the strongest person I know, I love you so much'

The silent tears that he kept hidden at the beginning, couldn't be saved anymore the first time that he actually held his baby in his arms. You knew better than tease him in such a vulnerable situation, and you didn't even want to. You just watched quietly with a tired smile as he had his own little moment with his newborn baby.

He'd also be the perfect husband/dad. Everything was split 50/50 and even 70/30 for all he cared. He was always down to do whatever needed to be done, both around the house or with the baby itself.

Minho is not someone who usually expresses his feelings openly, which is why I feel like small moments of bonding with just him and his baby would be fundamental for him. He'd sing to them, play with them, take some walks with that chest carrier for babies. Yes, he'd love to bring them with him on his fishing, camping adventures. He'd bring them to the beach, around the city and so on.

Of course he'd love to spend time together as a family, especially knowing that you wouldn't have judged him for handling things as he saw fit. You'd organize movie nights, picnics, aquarium dates and so on, as a little family.

Changbin - The sweetest husband and daddy. So emotional too. We all know Binnie is such a sweet man and isn't afraid of showing this softer side, but he doesn't go as far as crying. Seeing Changbin cry isn't an easy occurrence, but you bet this man WILL be bawling his eyes out in the most important moments of his life.

From the time in which you confessed that you were expecting, to the first ultrasound scan, to the first time he noticed your belly showing, the first time he felt the baby kick. It was like putting down small green flags at each step.

His number one priority was your and his baby's health. He'd make sure that you're as comfortable and peaceful as possible during the pregnancy, and wouldn't hold back on expenses either. You'd have the best food, best maternity clothes, best doctors, baby supplies and essentials and so on.

He'd talk to your belly all the time. Sing to it, rap to it. You'd swear that the baby's first word out of the womb would be the whole Thunderous intro mentioning his name. Binnie would be obsessed with the idea of teaching them to rap, for real.

He's the type that would act all brave big and strong but would lowkey faint in the delivery room just from the though of pain. Yours, of course. Of course he'd be there to hold your hand, giving you kisses on the head and caressing your hair, offering words of comfort and encouragement but God forbid if he even as much gazed south to your belly.

Absolutely bawled shamelessly when he heard the first cry, and was so so gentle while holding them for the first time :( He was lowkey afraid of hurting them because his baby is SO tiny :( He'd keep repeating it like a mantra, ' They're so small, how can they be this small?' :')

Changbin wouldn't let you lift a finger, for anything that didn't specifically require your attention, like breastfeeding for example. That would be his way to bond with the baby too. Quality time with daddy Binnie since the start aw :(

He'd love to show his baby off. Like literally. 'They got their looks from us, that's why they're stunning' 'This Dolce & Gabbana jacket would look so cool with the Celine cap and the Gucci shoes wouldn't it?' 'Did you see how they looked at me? They already understand so much, my little genious' . Would absolutely be his mini me, doesn't matter if it's male or female.

Hyunjin - As soon as he heard the news, he was over the moon. Truly. And even more because I imagine that you and him were actually trying for one. He seems like the person who likes to do things in steps, or 'traditionally' if you will. So of course there was the dating, then marriage and then babies.

I also don't feel like he'd settle down too early or when he's still got an active and busy schedule like the one of a young idol. I imagine him still working but being comfortable enough to take some time off to focus on his family.

I feel like he'd take care of you well during the pregnancy, but aside from that his priority would be creating as much memories as possible, hopefully to show your children one day. He's the type of husband who would organize maternity photoshoots, both for you as a solo and with his 'little family', or paint on your belly, take SO many candid pictures.

He'd love to make you as relaxed as possible. He'd run you baths with bubbles and oils and candles, cook whatever you wanted for you, massage you when you were sore, spread creams and oils on your belly to keep the skin hydrated and soft. He'd pamper you, okay? You were about to give him the best gift of his life, you were about to make him a father. He worshipped you.

In the delivery room he'd definitely have to distract himself to not get too anxious, to be strong for you. Otherwise if he actually let any of the ugly and painful reality of it sink in his mind he would've not managed to be calm, and therefore he would've made you anxious too. He did feel like throwing up a few times from the anxiety of hearing you in pain, the doctors talking, and overall the ugly situation.

So instead he just focused on you, holding your hands, kissing them, kissing everywhere he could reach and would be comfortable to you. He'd also repeat til nausea how much he loved you, how strong you are, how amazing and magical you are, how you're going to be the best mother, and how lucky he was to be by your side.

He'd absolutely get ten times more relieved as soon as he hears the cries, because the worst part is over. But would actually get emotional only when you manage to have an intimate moment within you three. He'd fall in love instantly, feeling such a strong sense of responsibility and affection that he hasn't felt before. He would also bond with the baby by spending quality time with them, walking them around, taking care of them, playing instruments and singing for them. He'd absolutely encourage them to draw and paint, and would save every single Picasso style artwork (lol).

Jisung - Han is an anxious person who loves a lot. Which of course will influence his mood and behavior in such a situation. Regardless of the type of relationship that you have, married or not, for how long etc... when you tell him you're pregnant he'd almost have a heart attack. There's no other way to say it to be honest. He could be (and probably would) the happiest man on earth but could as quickly let his brain overthink, killing a little of his enthusiasm.

Mainly because he'd start questioning himself. 'Will I be a good father?' 'Am I mature enough?' 'Will I be able to care for them as best as I can?' and stuff like that. You'd eventually calm him down, so he'd just focus on starting to 'practice' by taking care of you. Whatever you need, you have it.

For the love of God don't let one of those hormonal crisis go around him or he'll just panic. You keep telling him that you can't quite control it and that he didn't do anything wrong but for some reason he'd just blame himself regardless and feel guilty. But he would truly be the best at taking care of you, and you'd make sure to remind him and thank him for it every chance you get, because he need to hear it.

In the delivery room, he's the kind of man who gaslighted himself on being mentally prepared but at your first hiss of pain he feels his legs go jelly. You'd probably have to calm him down and tell him to focus on you because one of y'all needs to make it out alive anyway lol. So he tried really hard, to the cost of going on autopilot and dissociate for the whole thing, but he pulls through.

Would absolutely need to sit down when he finally has the confirmation that both you and the baby are fine, otherwise he'd fall to his knees. Then he'd calm down, telling himself that he needs to be calm and strong for his baby. 'If I'm nervous he'll feel it and cry' 'Is this shirt too rough?' 'What if I hold them wrong?'

And once again you'd have to guide him through it and reassure him. 'See? They love you already. You don't have to worry, baby. Everything will come naturally' , you'd say as Jisung hold his child in his arms gently and sheds a few tears.

After the first few experiences he'd get the hang of it so he'd be way more calm and confident. The only things that would make him panic are the 'unexpected' things. Are they hungry? In pain? Is it the air in the belly? and all that. I feel like he'd never get rid of it truly.

But he would spend as much time as he can with the baby, taking small steps. For example, he'd start by hanging out with them while they're in the cradle, then on the (protected) bed, then on a soft rug and so on. He'd love to sing and play for them, and try to get them to watch his childhood cartoons and anime so that he could grow up with his same core memories.

Felix - A ball of sunshine that was gonna have another small ball of sunshine in 9 months. Of course he was beaming at the news, getting emotional and everything. He'd be the type to organize a whole list of creative ways to tell your loved ones the news and then shamelessly film their reactions.

He'd be your source of comfort and support thought the whole duration of the pregnancy and beyond that. Felix would take such good care of you, only letting you do whatever you felt like doing, not pressuring you on maintaining routines or stress you out at all.

His social media would immediately turn into a baby fever/daddy/family type of content, and he'd probably would try out some funny or sweet things. But he'd also get a lot of useful content, about pregnancy advice, facts and scientific informations and even some practical and medical videos.

By the time it's actually the time for you to give birth he'd be really excited but also quite stressed out, mainly by seeing you in pain and worrying about the baby's health even though (probably and hopefully) the doctors assured you both multiple times that they're fine. He'd hold your hand and support you through it but I feel like he wouldn't be able to look further, may even sob a little but desperately try to hide it.

Would definitely cry in your shoulder and hug you when it's over. But then he'd have the biggest sweetest smile on his face as he holds his baby for the first time. Would spend a lot of time with them and try out all the advice he gathered in the preparation months. To him it would be super important to make sure that he creates a strong bond with them.

Definitely the type of dad to take a shit ton of pictures and post them everywhere, not to show off but genuinely to share the immense joy that his little one brought him :(. Would probably make so many posts both with you alone, thanking you for this gift that you gave him and to tell you how much he loved you, and with you, him and the baby as a happy family.

Seungmin - Would be overwhelmed. He gives off a similar vibe to Jisung I think, in the sense that he'd feel a lot of pressure on his shoulders to be the best father for his child. He'd be extremely happy (and emotional, you can't tell me that he wouldn't fold and cry at the news) but also super nervous :(

Seungmin is another one of those who'd take it as a job to basically learn everything that he can before the time comes. How to take care of a baby, of you during the pregnancy, how to be a good father in general.

Like, one day you could be just chilling and he'd go 'You know that garlic can help cure fevers?' and you'd just look at him confused, 'Okay? Why are you telling me this now?' 'I mean I imagine sooner or later the baby will catch a cold'. The baby in question literally still being in your belly lol

He'd also be really attentive and do everything around the house, no questions asked. Not that he wouldn't do them normally, but of course he wouldn't want you getting fatigued. He's not the best on the emotional side of things but he'd try really hard to support you (and himself) through it.

In the delivery room I feel like the adrenaline and extreme pressure would make him act way cooler on the outside than he would be feeling. He'd be really grounded and so good at also keeping you sane and spur you on, encouraging you. As soon as he'd hear the first cry he would be almost in shock, struggling to believe that his child was just born, but probably allow a couple of tears only in private afterwards. He'd be the type to be super formal and thank the doctors for their work lol

As a new dad Seungmin would have to learn how to let himself be vulnerable sometimes. Not because he'd a cold person, the opposite. But because he seems like the person who'd want to be strong and balanced in the eyes of other people AND for his loved ones, so you'd have to help him with it. But in general he'd be the perfect husband, super helpful and willing to do what needs to be done. He'd like to play and hold the baby a lot, probably sing him lullabies too.

Jeongin - He'd a hundred percent a green flag, change my mind. That babysitting video just showed to me how good he'd actually be and how happy he could be. Jeongin would be overjoyed at the news, mostly because he's also another one of those who looks like the type that if he had a kid, it's only because he'd be actively looking for it. Otherwise he doesn't seem the risky/irresponsible type at all.

He has experience with a younger sibling so he wouldn't be totally oblivious to how to take care of a baby, which would make him way more confident and let him enjoy his happiness more. I feel like the happiness and excitement would overshadow any self doubt. Would announce the news quite privately and probably be careful for the first months, as people usually do.

Jeongin would do so so well I feel, both during and after the pregnancy. He'd take care of you, do chores, help to take care of your body, lighten your mood if you needed it and so on. In the delivery room his job would be to reassure you and calm you down. He'd probably be sick with the adrenaline of the moment but wouldn't let it affect him on the outside.

I don't see him as the type who cries easily, but I think that he would tear up as he hold his child for the first time. He'd be all smiles and giggles constantly, holding the baby and rocking them in his arms while he sings softly to them. He's another one who'd be big on play time, but would also just genuinely enjoy taking care of them. Like giving them baths, feeding them, dressing them up, would bring him such joy.

He'd be the silly type of dad that would buy funny toys and onesies for their child but also like to play with them like little dolls to dress up. That baby would have so many unique and high fashion items and accessories, I just know.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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neptunes-sol-angel · 1 year ago

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Well let's fuck around and find out 🤭😉

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Pile One

This could be someone who's a friend that you need to cut off or someone who you've already cut off. I would say that this is a parent, but this is looking like someone who has this false sense of authority over people and in general isn't a good person to be around. I'm getting this image of someone hiding in the shadows who comes out at just the right time at the right place to make a move on you. The parental energy that I'm picking up on could relate to one of their negative traits, which is analyzing voids that you could have internally. It could seem like they're fulfilling you emotionally, but really this is deception that they use against you later. Affection, validation, or someone who listens is what could they hold above your head to convince you that you need them or that they hold the answers to how you should live your life. This person fucked around trying to gain control over you and now they're finding out that you're no one's puppet and that you're strong enough to both walk away and wake up from the trance that you don't have any glamour. Or this could be someone who was very delusional thinking that walking away from you would make your life halt, but there's light being shed on just how powerful your magnetism actually is. They walked away just to come back to watch how you're flourishing and still gaining attention from unapologetically being you, they see you birthing abundance in your life, they realize how your originality is undeniable, if your presence on social media is public, they could be lurking and taking notes on the shine that you vibrate effortlessly. Pile One you're the blueprint, baby!

Pile Two

This is an opportunist who is a friend to no one but themselves. Their concept of loyalty is that they're ok with you giving it unconditionally to them, but theirs has terms and conditions, and they're strongly offended when you reflect their way of thinking by withdrawing your loyalty. This is someone who is constantly in some drama, never has their priorities together, and if you dare suggest what they could do to help themselves, they'll give an excuse for why they don't want to do the things that will bring stability to them or at least reduce the trouble that they get into. An overall immature person. This could also be someone you work with or had a partnership with, there's envy and jealousy that they have over you and instead of working on their feelings, they'd rather do something slick behind your back to to to make sense of the animosity they have for you. This is someone who doesn't play fair and see things as deep enough for them to sabotage you. They fucked around and found out about how karma and your guides don't play about you. They overestimated their reign of how much they could overstep and they're in a position now to where they can't weasel their way out of the consequences. The theme here is a loss of security. Their self-grandeur is withering away to a lack of confidence, they could have lost their job or are severely losing momentum in getting ahead in their life. It's like their tricks are no longer working and how they tried to stagnate others has now blocked their own blessings because they're incapable of moving forward. This person has to get out of having this main character syndrome, their inability to be a team-player by supporting others or clapping for others has left them in a pit of the same cycles that they thought they could take shortcuts out of whether it be understanding how immoral it is to use others or learning that trying to knock someone down doesn't truly elevate them from their insecurities.

Pile Three

This person could have you on their mind a lot or you show up in their dreams frequently. This could be a love interest from the past or someone who you've used to talk to on an almost daily basis. You could have helped them in some way or there was something in this connection that they may have tried to downplay or had trouble understanding. I'm getting that they fucked around and found out about your effect on them which is someone who they'll never forget lol. I'm also getting that this could be someone who you're currently talking to who underestimated the feelings that they get when they're around you, or how much you positivity you bring in their life. However, this really does give a chaser and runner type dynamic, where you were eventually the chaser and now they're the runner. If this is a past person, this is someone who misses you dearly, and may have fumbled in the beginning of you two parting ways with each other, by pretending and overcomenpensating the facade of someone who has "moved on". For some people, this could be ex-friends or family members who are deeply feeling the downsides of your absence but are too prideful to apologize to you or tell you that they miss you and would like you back in their lives.

#🎄: 25 days of neptunes sol angel #day six #divination #intuitive #psychic #pick a card #tarot #spirituality #pac #tarotblr #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #pick a picture #the tarot community #tarot community

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eggcats · 6 months ago

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I do have an idea of Alastor taking Vox pet shopping, because Vox mentioned having a dog when he was alive and missing having a companion

Alastor agrees to get him a pet, as long as it ISN'T a dog

Vox cannot believe THIS is the one line Alastor won't cross, not even using his most adorable digital face changed his mind - but Vox still wants a pet, so he agrees. No dogs.

(They haven't been together long enough for Vox to LEARN why no dogs was such a big deal, here - I kind of think that's something Alastor doesn’t talk about until they've been together for like 10-20 years).

So! They go to a pet store, and Vox immediately wants the giant dog-like shark.

(Alastor tries to say no, but Vox is like "C'mon it's not a dog!!! *insert cute anime eyes before that was even a concept* so Alastor relents).

And the poor shop employee is like, trying to figure out how to tell the fucking Radio Demon and the guy who's starting to take over all the media that they probably don't have the ability to care for the shark-dog thing. (Think, stressed PetSmart employee trying to go "No, a baby bunny isn't a good gift for Easter" except to a serial killer actively covered in blood, here. That's the visual I'm thinking of).

[side note: why do I punish poor minimum wage employees constantly, I promise I have also worked a minimum wage job working for the general public, lol]

But when the employee explains that the shark-dog thing needs a large body of water (probably ocean) to swim in often, Alastor is just like "Oh I can summon that, easily. I'll add it to the guest bedroom since Vox no longer uses it." And Vox is like, what do you MEAN that's something you can do?? You can't just drop casual lore like that at the pet store!

Alastor is like "?? Darling, what do you mean? I have a bayou in my room in the closet? A little beach isn't any more difficult."

And it turns out that when Vox moved in, Alastor told him not to go in that closet. Alastor meant it in a "don't go in there without me, because wandering in a bayou could be dangerous if you don't know where you are/how to do so safely" kind of way.

Vox, however, took it in a Bluebeard kind of way and was like, "Easy, I'm not having him murder me, so he'll be stuck with me forever. Win/win scenario, I solved the fairytale" and just assumed he DID because they're dating now.

And Alastor is left staring with the most confused smile on his face, trying to come to terms with the fact that Vox just casually accepted that he was living in a Bluebeard-like scenario, and his response was to play by the rules so he can stay with Alastor.

(They get the shark-dog. Vox names it Vark. Alastor immediately takes away his "allowed to name new things" privilege, but it's too late. It only responds to Vark).

#sorry i spend all my time thinking of stupid things for these idiots to do #long post #the way this is such a random reach but this is how my brain works lmao #i love their miscommunication bc its always so funny to me #just Alastor being like hey dont go in here bc it could be dangerous on your own #and vox hearing 'OH this is like Bluebeard! i can win this easy' and thinking he did bc now him and Alastor are dating #is too funny a visual for me to pass up #i realize he has vark much more later in canon but that doesn't matter to me so #Housewife Vox AU

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wardenparker · 7 months ago

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Hummingbird Has Landed, ch 12

Marcus Pike x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

After the debacle of his failed engagement and relocating to Washington to take charge of his task force, newly minted Special Agent Marcus Pike is ready to get back out into the dating pool once more. A slew of bad dates has him feeling a little down, and he takes an old friend up on an invitation to get away and get his head on straight. Imagine his surprise when he finds not only fresh air, but his soulmate as well - hiding in plain sight but in the unlikeliest of places.

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 12.4k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: occasional mention of American politics, pregnant character, food/alcohol consumption, mentions of clothing/regulated dressing for occasions, mentions of therapy because we believe in self care here, reader is in a previous relationship, love triangle, reader is mentioned as turning 30 during the course of the story, dom/sub dynamics* Pregnancy. labor, childbirth, health emergency, hospital stay, talk of living wills and things going wrong, traumatic birth, mentions of death/possibility of death, reassurance, emotional hurt/comfort. Summary: Months after going public with your relationship with your soulmate, you and Marcus get the phone call you've been waiting for: Sydney has gone into labor! Notes: The migraines and the pain aren't gone but the story continues! This week is a rollercoaster, my darlings. I hope you enjoy 🧡

Ch1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11

The call came late on a Saturday night during the first full week of September. Busy getting ready to go out for a later-than-usual date, you had jumped straight up in the air when your phone started ringing. The words 'labor' and 'hospital' got you and Marcus moving instantly, and you were off to meet Juan and Sydney at Sibley Memorial Hospital faster than a heartbeat.

“Now, it’s gonna be awhile.” Marcus warns you, even as he speeds towards the hospital. “I might have to come back to get you some clothes.”

"As long as it doesn't take as long as Junie did to be born," you joke, trying to dispel your own tensions even as you fidget in your seat. "Mom was in labor for twenty-six hours. I think Syd will just reach in and pull the baby out before she waits that long."

“She’ll be yelling that she has a dinner menu to put out.” Marcus snorts, understanding how frustrated Juan has been when his wife refused to slow down until the very end.

"If she doesn't have her recipe notebook out within an hour of giving birth, I'll be astonished." She never slows down, your best friend, and you adore her despite it being worrying sometimes. At least you got her to agree to the more-than-generous New Parent Leave package the inn has adopted. They're both technically on your payroll so you know they'll be well taken care of.

“The new sous chef she hired to help the old one step into her shoes has worked out really well so far.” Marcus knows that talking about the inn will help you focus. Keep you from worrying yourself up into a state until you can lay your eyes on Sydney.

"She needed another set of hands anyway." Just because you know what he's doing doesn't mean you're not grateful, and you fidget in your seat before glancing down at your phone for the thousandth time. No new texts. You just have to remind yourself that that is a good thing. "Hopefully this new guy will work out and she'll keep him on long term."

“Yeah, it’s nearly a fully house every night in the restaurant.” Business in the inn might have taken a slight hit from the negative press, but the food was still bringing in the locals.

"Thank god for that." Over the last few months your bookings haven't been too stellar, but you've been making up for it with restaurant patrons and special event bookings. At least you had room enough to accommodate Marcus's parents when they came up in July. "I don't want to think about what would have happened if we'd lost restaurant sales along with bookings."

“I’m just happy that the ‘anonymous sources’ have tapered off lately.” The accusations are still out there but you and Marcus have been laying low for now.

“What I wouldn’t give for two seconds with our sniveling exes.” It’s obvious that it has been Sam and Vanessa feeding things to the gossip columnists, although technically all you have is your say-so. They’re being clever enough to make sure that there is no paper trail and nothing being said that marks them as the obvious source of the negative rumors. “Why do we have to be the better people?” You gripe with a pout. “We could just as easily say made up shit about them. For all we know, they were the ones having an affair and this is a whole situation of they doth protest too much.”

“I don’t think so.” Marcus would love for that to be the case. “That week of the state dinner, he was sick.” He reminds you. “I think Vanessa went over to his house and somehow discovered she’s his soulmate. She told me that she had just found out, not that she just met him.” He theorizes. “And now, they are twisting their own narrative, but I don’t understand why.”

“If they’re trying to discredit Mom through me, it’s not working.” Though your business may have taken a hit, your mother’s first term has been fairly impressive so far. She’s getting her legislation moving at a brisk clip and her focus on the economy is already strong. You sigh, though, pushing out the bad thoughts, and squeeze his hand over the gear shift. “They don’t get to ruin our goddaughter’s birth. That’s not in the cards.”

“Nope.” Marcus made sure to pack the gifts for mother and baby in the car while you were rushing around to get dressed. Both of you are excited. “Doesn’t matter, today is about Sydney and the baby.” He chuckles. “And poor Juan too. I know he’s a wreck right now.”

“He’s so excited and so nervous.” The clock on the dashboard reads ten minutes until midnight and you squeeze his hand again to relieve some of your own nerves. It’s not like you’re the one having a baby. There’s no reason to be nervous, but you are. For your best friend and your goddaughter and for Juan who is like a big brother to you.

“Yes he is.” Marcus tosses you a grin. “I know he’s supposed to be handing out cigars, but I managed to get my hands on a box of very nice ones. When the baby is born, I’m going to give them to him. To celebrate the important milestones with.”

“They’re the ones your dad smokes, aren’t they?” Beaming that grin right back at him, the conjured memory of the vanilla and spice scent of Matthew Pike’s favorite cigars is easy to conjure. “He’ll love that.”

“I hope so.” Marcus grins. “I can just imagine how proud he’s going to be. He’s going to be crying as he holds his child for the first time.”

“He’s going to be a leaky faucet by the time we get to the hospital,” you predict with an affection laugh. “They deserve this. They already love that little girl so much and they’re going to be amazing parents.”

“Yes they are.” He can’t help but be a little envious, although it’s not a sharp feeling because he knows it will happen for the two of you soon enough. He will be content with cuddling his new goddaughter.

There’s little traffic at this time of night, and before you know it you and Marcus are parking and heading inside to track down the room number that Juan texted to you. Sydney and Juan’s families will be alerted when the baby is born, but it was their wish to have you and Marcus in hand for the birth. You’ll be right there in the delivery room with Syd and Juan while Marcus keeps the families updated in a group chat. You’re co-captains of Team Moral Support and you’re excited for every second of it.

His hand is on your back as you stop in front of the door. “Are you ready, sweetheart?” He asks with a beaming smile.

“Nervous. Excited. Very ready.” You lean back to steal a kiss, warmed through by the comfort of having him by your side for this enormous step in the lives of your close friends. Your chosen family. “And…I can’t wait until it’s us.”

“Soon enough.” He promises. “Soon enough.” He pushed the door open and knocks with the back of his knuckles. “Knock, knock.”

“Oh thank god!” Comes the response from inside, and you’re laughing at the relief in Sydney’s voice when you and Marcus push inside. “The Godparent Brigade has arrived! Here to pump you up, handle your relatives, and fetch your sushi after the little peanut has arrived on the scene.”

“Get the sushi before anything else.” Sydney demands, rubbing her stomach and nearly salivating at the thought.

"I've already got your order in my phone, and Marcus will jet out to get it. You won't have to wait at all, honey." It doesn't surprise you in the least that Syd is thinking about one of her favorite foods, but you move over to her side in the bed as the two men hug and give your best friend a squeeze on her shoulder. "How are you doing? Do you want me to go strong arm a nurse for some ice chips?"

“Juan already has two cups of them, letting them melt down.” She grins at you and then winces when another contraction hits.

It takes everything you've got not to wince or cringe along with her, knowing that it won't do a single lick of good and won't help her feel any better. "How far apart are they?" You ask instead, rubbing her back in small, soothing circles.

“Twelve minutes, forty-seven seconds.” Juan tells you as he looks down at his watch and then back at his wife. “We are down from fifteen minutes.”

"Getting closer and closer!" Practically squeaking with excitement, you can see the same light in Juan's eyes despite the worry lines in his furrowed brow. He just wants everything to go well, and you can't blame him there.

Sydney huffs out a small laugh, knowing you are doing exactly what she had wanted you to. Cheerlead for her. “Did you happen to bring those hard candies?” She asks, her eyes wide and pleading.

"Yes!" Ready to dig into your purse immediately, you swirl around and grab your bag from where you had dropped it to one side when you came in the room. "I've got sour lemon and orange, and I've got the sweet strawberry ones. What are you feeling at the moment?"

“Sweet.” She practically moans the word and reaches out to you with grabby hands. “Don’t hold out on me now.”

"Here we go, babe." One of the candies is deposited in Syd's outstretched hands and a few more get tucked into the pockets of your cardigan to make sure you have one on hand for her at no more than a moment's notice. "Plenty more where that came from, I promise."

“You are the best.” She moans, popping the candy into her mouth and rolling her eyes in pleasure.

"Now how are you doing, Dad?" With Syd moaning over her small treat, you turn your attention to Juan.

“I’m hanging in there, but I think I forgot my bag.” He rolls his eyes and huffs. “Too busy making sure the car seat was secure.”

"Babe, you have a key to their place, right?" If not, you'll pull out your keys and send Marcus back to Alexandria with your spare house key instead. You would go yourself, but you vowed not to leave Sydney's side once you got to the hospital. The kind of vow that is definitely life or death and she will hold you to.

“Juan gave me one.” Marcus nods, and agrees with your silent plan. “I’ll run and get the bag. Pick up some coffee that’s better than the shit they serve here, yeah?”

"I have a feeling we're going to need it." Juan nods and claps Marcus on the shoulder gratefully.

"I'll call you if anything changes," you promise him, turning back to your own soulmate. "You're amazing, sweetheart. Thank you."

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He reassures you, leaning in to kiss your lips before hugging Juan and bussing Sydney’s cheek. “Ask for the good drugs, mama.” He teases with a wink, wanting her to laugh.

"You bet your ass!" She groans, wincing more heavily with this contraction than she had with the one before. "Get back here fast, Marcus. Speed. Lots!"

“I’ll use my badge if I get pulled over!” He calls back as he rushes out of the room.

"He'll be back in no time." Realistically you know it will take quite a lot of time, in fact, but your job tonight is not to be realistic. It is to be positive and upbeat. To keep spirits high. "I think Malachi is going to win the betting pool." You grin and stand up by the head of the bed with Sydney, right there to hold her hand if she needs you. "He had Monday – tomorrow, technically – as the day, but I don't think anyone had Sunday."

“Juan…” Sydney smiles. “Take a nap, baby. I know you are exhausted. You were about to go to sleep when my labor started. Birdie is here, so get some sleep.”

He raises an eyebrow, knowing his wife is in pain, but also knowing that a short nap will ensure he is at his best to help her. "We'll take shifts," he compromises, eyeing you just as much as his wife. "So someone is always here holding your hand and timing your contractions. Short naps only. I don't want to miss anything."

“I promise I won’t push her out without you.” She teases, leaning in and pressing her lips to his. “Go, it might be your last nap for the next eighteen years.”

"I love you, Warrior Queen." There are more kisses and more sweet words, and finally Juan crosses the compact hospital room to curl up on the Dad Bench and try to get at least a little bit of sleep before his baby girl enters the world.

“I don’t want to be horrible through this.” She admits quietly. “I’m hoping the labor progresses so I get an epidural quickly.”

"There is not a single person who is going to even blink an eye if you are upset during this labor," you promise her. She pats the side of her bed and you perch on the edge of the mattress, holding her hand all the while. "If you wanted or needed to rage through the whole thing, we would stand by your right to do so. But we'll also stand by your choice to do things any other way. Whatever way is going to be the best possible experience of bringing your first baby into this world."

“Will you do me a favor?” She asks quietly, eyeing Juan as he turns into the couch and gives you his back. He’s already snoring lightly so she’s not worried about him overheating. “If something happens…..” This is the first time that she’s ever said anything out loud and her eyes are anxious. “I’ve signed the paperwork already, but if something happens, I don’t want to stay on machines.” She whispers. “Promise me that you’ll help him let go. And if it’s me or the baby…you know what I want you to choose.”

“Nothing is going to happen.” As firmly and sternly as you can, you squeeze your best friend’s fingers in yours and bite back the instant tears that spring but behind your eyes. The fact that this conversation is even necessary is heartbreaking, but women die in childbirth every single day. Nothing is going to happen. You almost shake with determination but that isn’t what she needs right now. The person who means the most to you in the world besides Marcus is looking you in the face and asking you to be loyal to her. And you will. “I promise.” Two small, devastating words. But if she’s thought this far ahead, she’s also had another thought. “You have a will somewhere?”

“In the safe at home.” She nods, relieved that you are not fighting her and it’s obvious on her face. She had expected an argument, she knows she would have gotten one from Juan, which is why she chose you as her medical POA. “The papers are in an envelope in my bag.” She nods towards the incredibly organized hospital bag.

“Okay.” You nod, still holding her hands tightly. “I love you. I will honor your wishes. Now tell me which onesies you packed to bring her home in so you can get excited again.”

“All of them.” Sydney snorts, only half kidding. “There are twelve that I couldn’t decide between, so I brought them all. Figured we would decide which one looks best when we are holding her.”

“We can absolutely decide later.” She’s already a little sweaty at the top of her forehead from the contractions and you nudge a cup of melted ice chips toward her just to cool her down. “Do you have a top three?”

“The ones in the right hand pocket.” She takes the cup and starts to gulp down the cool water.

In the right hand pocket of Sydney’s neatly packed hospital bag, three folded baby onesies await their new owner: one from her mother in law covered in little surfboards and ocean waves and sunglasses to represent how much Juan had loved surfing when he was out in California. One from Syd’s sister AnnaLeigh with Once Upon a Time…a Heroine was Born written out like the beginning of an illuminated fairytale, and one from you and Marcus emblazoned with the logo of Syd’s favourite hockey team to get her baby girl started out right. “They’re fantastic choices,” you hum, looking at the clothes with misty eyes.

“You see why I couldn’t choose?” She laughs, shaking her head and setting down the rest of the ice chips to melt. Seriously not understanding why they just wouldn’t give her water. Labor is fucking thirsty work.

“I think I like AnnaLeigh’s,” you admit, before tucking them back into the bag as carefully as they had been before. “But we’ll see how she feels about them when she’s here. Who knows? She might come out the chillest baby in the world and then we now she matches Juanito’s surfer phase.”

“Juan actually likes that one too.” She admits with a grin. “He’s so fucking excited for this baby to come. He swears if he could carry her for me, he would.”

“He totally would have if he could.” The grin on your face breaks wider, and you sit back on the edge of Syd’s bed with her. “So would Marcus. In a heartbeat.”

“How did we get so fucking lucky?” Her eyes mist up, overwhelmed with the beautiful thought of both of you so happy and cared for with your soulmates.

“I truly have no idea.” The mist in her eyes halts for just a moment as another contraction hits, but it doesn’t fade. It doesn’t dim. Syd’s happiness is true, and you’re so grateful to see it. “Thank god they get along though. We’d be screwed if our soulmates weren��t friends.”

Panting, she leans back and rubs her belly. “We would make them be friends.” She jokes. “The most awkward small talk over beers until they find a common interest.”

“Lucky for us?” You sit forward and help her readjust her pillows from where they had fallen out of place. “They’re basically as inseparable as we are again.”

"Lucky for us." She agrees, leaning back with a sigh and smiling at you. "Thanks. You know what I need before I do sometimes."

“For most of the time we’ve known each other, I’ve been shocked that we aren’t soulmates.” At some point in your teenage years you had discussed it, but your appendicitis scar already existed and she has never born that. “I gotta be honest, I used to be bummed that we’re not. But when you met Juan, I understood why.”

She kisses the air in your direction. "Because you had Marcus waiting on you, too." She reminds you. "We are better than soulmates. We are sisters by choice."

“I would have waited forever for him.” She gets the same air kiss from you, and you descend into giggles together. “We really are lucky.”

The giggles are interrupted by another contraction, making Sydney hiss and squeeze her eyes shut as she tries to breathe through it. Coming out as more of a whine until the pain passes again. "They- They are getting closer." She huffs when she can talk again.

“We’re down to eight minutes and sixteen seconds apart,” you tell her, checking your watch. “You’re doing awesome, Syd.”

“I can’t believe it.” She grunts when she gets a foot in her rib. “I don’t know whether to be impressed that it’s going so fast, or cry because I’m not further along.”

"You're allowed to be both, you know." Frankly, you're both. She is progressing quickly but you know she would rather have just arrived fully dilated and ready to go. "Just remember. At least she's not dragging her heels like Junie did."

“I don’t know how your mom did it.” She huffs, thinking about your mother and how excited you had been for a younger sister. “She was still working while in labor.”

"My mother is some kind of weird combination of feral cryptid being and absolute machine," you chuckle, shaking your head. "If I'm trying to do bookings and make staff schedules during labor, please slap me."

Huffing out a laugh, she grunts and rubs her belly again on the side. “Done.” She pants. “But get me my notebook.” She points to her bag. “I just thought about a salted Carmel mocha crème brûlée.”

“I am only agreeing to this because it will take your mind off the pain.” Still, you dig into the pocket opposite the onesies she has earmarked as favorites and come out with her battered and beaten recipe notebook. “It sounds like it will be nice to send to your sous chef.”

“It sounds like something I want to eat right now.” She groans, flipping open the tatty cover and laying it on her baby bump to quickly write down her idea.

“You’re going to be a little distracted and busy for a while,” you remind her. Still you can’t help but grin at her tongue poking out from between her teeth as she scribbles.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not hungry.” She moans pitifully after finishing the notes. “I was in the middle of getting a snack.” The pout that pushes her lips out would be comical under different circumstances but she’s horribly disappointed to have not gotten to eat before being bustled into the car by her frazzled husband.

“What was snack time tonight?” It is absolutely always the way to distract her when she’s feeling bad, and tonight is All Sydney All the Time, so you’re focused in one her.

She groans and whimpers slightly at the food she had to leave on the counter. “Cottage cheese with fresh peach compote and balsamic glaze.” She pouts even more. “It was going to be amazing. But I had to tell Juan that I was cramping.”

“I’ll make sure there’s plenty in your fridge waiting for you when you get home.” You can promise her that, along with their fridge and freezer being fully stocked with ready-made meals and easy to use ingredients that should last more than two weeks. Between you and Marcus and Malachi and her staff, you’ve all been secretly helping prep for baby’s arrival for a week already. Even Agent Bailey made a contribution to the frozen meals and added some veggies from her garden.

“Thank you.” She smiles you softly. “I can’t believe that when I leave, I’m going to be holding her.” She admits with a grin.

“She’s almost here.” As if to affirm it, another swift kick to Sydney’s abdomen is brutally obvious, and you grin. “And she’s excited about it.”

The two of you settle into a comfortable silence. Broken by contractions and the quickening of their pace. Sydney trying to be quiet as she pants through them to let Juan sleep.

Checking your watch again and finding nearly two hours have gone by, you tilt your head at your best friend and hand her another strawberry candy. "Marcus should be back soon, and your contractions are barely more than five minutes apart now. I think it's time to wake Dad up and call for the nurse."

Marcus has Juan’s bag in the backseat and he had cancelled the reservations he had made for tonight. They aren’t going to be used, and he had apologized profusely. Still, he stops at the inn to run up to the small gun safe, using the biometric lock to open it and reveal a small ring box. He had been planning to propose tonight, and he still can, it will just look different now.

"It's happening, isn't it?" On his one night shift per week, Malachi had seen you and Marcus hustle out the backdoor of the inn with bags in hand and seen not long after when Marcus reappeared in a hurry. Now he is waiting at the back door once again, but this time to snag Marcus before he can disappear in to the night.

“It is.” Marcus nods with a huge grin spreading across his face. “Juan forgot his bag. I’ll text you when she’s born.” All the staff are invested so he will be sure to let them know. “You’ve got the inn?” He checks, although he knows what the other man will say.

"That baby is your godchild." Malachi smiles surprisingly softly. "This inn is mine."

“I know.” He reaches out and squeezes Malachi’s arm. “Birdie trusts you with her most important treasure.” He praises.

"Not quite." He winks at the other man, considering him a friend now after many months of back and forth, and grins. "She'd never leave me alone with you."

Marcus snorts, well aware of the man’s proclivity to flirt. He matches that grin. “That’s because she knows how persuasive you are.” He jokes, winking at him playfully. “Besides. You are still yearning for your soulmate and will only be happy when he breezes into your life like he’s always been there.”

"Check all those doctors for my ankle tat, handsome." Malachi teases, shooing Marcus toward the door. "A man in scrubs is better than a man in uniform."

“I will.” He gives Malachi a salute and hustles out of the door to speed back to the hospital as quickly as he can.

It's on the heels of a nurse when Marcus comes back into the room, with Juan standing at Syd's side holding tight to your hand while you have been banished to the corner of the room so the nurse can do her work. "It's almost time!" You tell him excitedly, wrapping your arms around him the second he makes his way over to her.

“Holy shit, I made it just in time then.” He can’t believe how fast it’s gone, he had expects at least half a day or more of labor.

"Apparently Constance does not want to wait." The shine of tears in your eyes isn't going anywhere now that you're about to head to the delivery room with Sydney and Juan, but you hug Marcus fiercely. "And I can't wait to meet her. I'm so glad you made it in time."

“Me too.” Marcus presses his lips to yours, letting you cling to him for a second before you pull back. “Does she want me there for Juan or should I stay here?”

"Stay here and hold down the fort for us? She's going to be exhausted when it's all over but she's nervous about everything being okay in the room while we're gone." Wishing so dearly that this was your night only makes you smile because you know that it's only a matter of time.

“Absolutely.” Marcus nods and looks over at Juan and Sydney. “I’ve got everything here. You go meet your daughter.”

"We'll be back soon." Juan is beaming, practically hopping around, and looks like he might jump out of his own skin if given the chance. "She's almost here!"

Marcus laughs at the bubbly excitement, watching as the nurses wheel her bed out, with you and Juan right on their heels as she’s transferred over to the delivery room. “And now…” Marcus pulls out the ring box and flicks it open to look down at the gorgeous ring. “We wait.”

It's over an hour before anyone comes back into the room, and when it happens it's just you alone with a look of exhausted panic on your face. "Everyone's okay." The first words out of your mouth, but you murmur them while shaking slightly and bolting into his arms, so it isn't terribly reassuring.

That doesn’t sound reassuring, coupled with the desperate way you cling to him. Marcus folds you into his embrace tightly.

“She was breech…” Sniffling through the explanation and clinging to him even harder is about the best you can do right now. “And they couldn’t get her to turn. Then—then they did an ultrasound and figured out that—” The shudder that runs through you is all-encompassing. “She had her umbilical cord around her neck. So they had to do an emergency c-section.” The shaky breath you exhale as you lean back is enough to make him quake right along with you, but he holds you steady. “And then the placenta ruptured after they brought the baby out and—and Syd just kept bleeding—”

“Oh shit.” Marcus whispers in horror, his heart plummeting to his feet and he swallows harshly. “But they are both okay?” He had heard you say they were, but he needs the confirmation.

“They’re both okay.” You can barely manage to nod, tears spilling over for yet another time. “They took Constance to the NICU and Juan is with Syd in recovery until they okay her to come back here.”

“Thank God.” Marcus breathes out softly. “Hopefully Syd is asleep? I know she would be frantic if Constance isn’t with her after that.”

“Awake, but exhausted.” You’re still gripping his leather jacket, refusing to let go. It had been warding off the chill in the air conditioned room but now it’s your life line. “They let her hold the baby for a few minutes before they whisked her off to the NICU.”

“How is she?” Marcus asks quietly, worrying about the baby. “Could we sit with her in the NICU?”

“The doctor said not to worry.” Though you sniffle again, clearly very concerned. “That she’s seen babies in far worse condition come through it totally fine. But they wanted her in a place where they can help immediately if they need to.” Two tears leak from your eyes but you brush them away with the back of your wrist and try to breathe. “They’ll come down and tell us in a little while if she can come be with Sydney or if we’ll be allowed to visit the NICU. For now we just gotta—we gotta stay put. That’s why Juan wanted me to come tell you.”

“Then that is what we will do.” Marcus promises, rubbing your back gently. “I’ll wait to pick up her sushi, hmm?” He wants you to decide that is the best option because he’s not leaving you right now. Not for anything in the world. He’s already reached out to his team to let them know he’s out of pocket for right now.

“Until after she gets some sleep.” You nod against his chest and wrap your arms around his waist for a sturdy anchor. “This is…not a celebrating time. The only thing worth celebrating is the fact that they’re okay.”

The ring he had planned to give you tonight burns a hole in his pocket, but he hums in agreement, pressing his lips to your head. “I completely agree.” He murmurs softly. “We will just make sure that they are in perfect health.”

“I love you so much.” The sheer relief of having him in your arms now after nearly losing your best friend — both of them meaning more to you than life itself — is unspeakable. “And I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He promises. “I think I’m going to text the group that mom and baby are resting comfortably and we will make the announcement later?” He asks. “I don’t want people to bug Juan or worry.”

“I think that’s probably a good idea.” The last that the baby arrival group chat had heard, Syd was being wheeled to the delivery room. They deserved an update.

“Why don’t you go into the bathroom and wash your face, sweetheart?” Marcus urges. “Change into your comfy clothes and I’ll send out a text.”

“I’m too anxious to sleep, but I’ll wash up and change.” It seems like it will make you feel less frazzled, and therefore more on your game to help your friends. “But if you need to lie down, you should. I’ll wake you up when the nurse comes in with news.”

“I won’t sleep.” Marcus is too focused on you, too in tune with your nervousness to ever nap. Not right now.

“Then change with me and settle in,” you suggest instead, knowing that if your positions were switched you would feel the same. “It might be a long night.”

Marcus nods. “I can do that.” He promises, rubbing your shoulders and moving towards the bags. “If you want to take a quick shower, no one would blame you.”

“I think I’ll save that trick for refreshing myself in a few hours from now.” Predicting that you’ll need it, you kiss him now and slip off to the adjacent bathroom with your overnight bag to change.

Marcus pulls out his phone and calls down to the florist department that is on the ground floor of the hospital, wanting Sydney to come back to a lovely bouquet.

Wash your face. Change your clothes. Try not to break out crying again that you almost had to put that conversation with Syd a few hours ago into action. By the time you come out of the bathroom in Marcus’s old FBI Academy sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants, your shoulders are drooping and your feet are dragging but at least you’ve stopped crying.

“Oh sweetheart.” While you had washed your face, Marcus had changed out in the room. “Come lay down with me on the sofa/bench thing.” He urges, reaching for you again.

“The Dad Bench.” Curling up into his side immediately, you lay your head on his shoulder and breathe out another sigh. “After you left, she made me promise to make the decision if something went wrong,” you tell him quietly. “Juan would never be able to…and she knew…that if she made me promise. I’d do what she wanted.”

He had been stroking your arm, fingers freezing as he absorbs the implication of that statement. “I’m glad it didn’t come to that.” He closes his eyes and sends up a prayer of thanks and continued good health to whomever might hear him. He doesn’t wish that on anyone, least of all his soulmate and one of his best friends.

"It almost did." Tears come again, fresh and few, but they are definitely there. "The only other time I've heard Juan pray in Spanish was when his mother had a heart attack a few years ago."

“I would be praying in every fucking language I could if it were you.” Marcus whispers. “To every God ever imagined.”

"Everyone is okay." Having to remind yourself of it fairly often seems...fairly reasonable, all things considered. You had stood at your best friend's side and looked her and her soulmate in the eyes as the doctors worked to control her bleeding. As she lay on a table with the distinct reality that those would be the last moments of her life.

But no. Everyone is okay. And soon they'll send her downstairs so she can rest comfortably, and they'll bring little Constance to her to have joyous moments with her family instead of fearful ones.

“Everyone is okay.” He echoes softly. “But…I asked the nurse for a rollaway bed for you.” The nurse had slipped into the room to check on you while you had been in the bathroom, before he had changed. You had just walked into the other room and closed the door, in fact. He had thought it would be best to prepare for you to not leave this room anytime soon.

"Did she say anything else?" No news is good news most of the time when you're in a hospital, but if Marcus got to speak to a nurse you want to know everything.

“She said that momma and baby should be in here by the time visitor hours start.” He couldn’t get a timeframe beyond that, but he took what he could get.

"That's..." Turning your wrist to check your face, the dial reads just after four in the morning. "That's about four hours. And I know Juan won't be down without them. So...I guess we should settle in?"

“Of course.” He doesn’t move, just continuing to hold you. Feeling you relax against him slowly.

"I guess...rain check on date night sex?" You huff weakly, trying for a joke. By this time of night on a date night you would normally be fast asleep – and very naked – in each other's arms.

“A rain check with you is better than any legal tender.” He jokes back, smiling softly even though he had hoped it would be engaged sex.

"What a night." The longer that you sit with him, the calmer you get. It's such an enormous thing for you, to have someone to anchor you as well as he does, and you sigh again as you deflate just a little more into his side.

“Not exactly how I imagined the night going.” Marcus admits with a small sigh. He’s not unhappy, he just wishes the birth hadn’t been so traumatic for everyone.

"Tell me what we were going to do tonight." Thinking about absolutely anything else seems like a very good idea right now, and while you know it was already late when you were leaving the apartment, you also know that Marcus had made plans for tonight.

“I had booked us a late table at Kingbird.” He tells you, smiling at the fact that Sydney had pulled the strings to get the reservation. “It was supposed to be the last table of the night.”

"The restaurant at the Watergate?" Your eyebrows raise when you look up at him and you're practically pouting. "I've been dying to try that place."

“I know.” He had asked and there was a list of places, but he had chosen that one to immortalize as special for the two of you. “And booked us a room at the hotel.”

"Shit." The pout on your lips deepens when you realize how much work Marcus had put into the night, only for it to be interrupted. "I'm so sorry, love. We'll have to reschedule everything. It sounds like it would have been beautiful."

“This is more important.” Marcus insists. “Don’t apologize. This is where I want to be, with you.”

"I don't think I could make it through tonight without you." It would be too much to handle on your own. With such deep emotions entangled in every second of the night, without your anchor you might have just flown apart. "I don't like the idea of doing anything without you anymore."

“You would have, sweetheart.” Marcus knows that, you are so damn strong. So much stronger than you ever believe about yourself. “I know you would have, but you don’t have to.” He stresses. “I’ll be here for you. Support you, comfort you. Celebrate your success and mourn your losses with you. I’m right here.”

"There are no losses to mourn tonight." And you'll be thanking every deity out there for any part they may have had in it. And also making sure that you note down the name of Sydney's doctor for your own pregnancies, because that woman worked quickly and thoroughly and without hesitation to make sure that both mother and baby made it through a birth that would have killed them both in decades past.

“We celebrate life.” He agrees softly. “And love. That little girl is loved so much already.”

"She's beautiful." And of course, there's a sniffle again. At least this one is happy and relieved. "Syd's big eyes and Juan's dark hair."

“Juan is going to be miserable when she gets older.” He laughs quietly. “She’s going to be gorgeous.”

"If she's anything like her mom, she'll have her head too far in the clouds to notice any of the boys or girls chasing her," you laugh along with him, remembering Sydney in high school. "Syd never had any clue how sought after she was."

“She was waiting for Juan.” It’s a bit of a romantic stretch, but it could also be the truth. “Plus she was too in love with crème brûlée. No mere man could compare.”

"She was dreaming about a caramel mocha one while you were gone." The maddening fear is starting to subside, finally, and you sink ever more deeply against Marcus on the bench. "I swear I'll make them for her every day for the rest of her life after what happened tonight."

“See?” He smirks to himself. “She loves them and I’ll help you. I can take the next week off, help with the inn and let you focus on Sydney and co?”

"You don't have to do that." It's a lot to ask of him, and you know that even though he has plenty of vacation time, you were planning on taking a trip down to Texas to spend New Years with his parents. "It's a deeply appreciated gesture, though."

“I don’t mind.” He protests, although he had been certain you would not let him do that for you. “I hope you know that.”

"I know, my love." In his lap, your fingers find his and tangle your hands together. "Why don't we wait on that decision until we see how Sydney and the baby are doing? I don't want you to take extra days out when I know you had been wanting to do other things with them in the next few months."

“Alright.” He will do what you want, let you lead this but he won’t let you exhaust yourself trying to carry everything. “Hopefully they will deliver the flowers I ordered before Syd comes back into the room.”

“You ordered flowers?” Sometimes you really feel like the things he does are magic, from small to large the gestures of love and support are always so deep that it seems impossible for him to not be the Superman of emotional support. “Honey, you’re—you’re too good. Too all of us.”

Marcus snorts. “My mother insisted we order flowers from her and dad, before this all went sideways.” He adds. Wanting you to know the context. “But Sydney just went through a traumatic childbirth. Flowers are the least I could do in order to make her feel loved and special.” He had ordered the flowers his mother wanted and then ordered other arrangements, including a welcome bouquet for Constance herself.

“Everyone is okay.” More reassuring this time, the words still come out in a hush and your eyes drop from Marcus’s for a moment before fluttering back up. “Thank you for being you,” you murmur after a moment. Marcus is that supportive and bolstering friend and family member. This is just who he is. And you’re so entirely grateful to have him here with you, especially right now.

“I don’t know if I would thank me for that.” Marcus teases, leaning in and kissing your forehead again. “But you can always count on me, hummingbird.”

“I know I can. And I’m thankful for that.” More than you could ever say. More than any words you have.

“Close your eyes.” He orders softly. He knows you are exhausted and emotionally spent. You need the rest so you can care for Sydney, Juan and the baby when they are back in this room.

“I can’t guarantee I’ll sleep.” Though you’ll try, knowing that the nurse doesn’t expect Sydney or the baby to be able to come down for at least a few hours.

“I know. Just closing them will be good.” He murmurs softly, still rubbing your back when you shift to lay across him. “You’ve been crying.”

“You would have been proud of me,” you murmur, settling against him one more time and shutting your eyes. “I kept it together until after everything happened.” It was shock, probably, but you still managed it. “Therapy is going to be a doozy this week.”

“Yes it will.” He won’t deny that or try to minimize your feelings. “You don’t need to skip it.”

“I’m absolutely not going to skip it.” Not this week, of all weeks. Not at all. The heaviness of the night is tugging at you, not for sleep but for rest, and for the first time you think you actually might be able to calm down fully as long as you can stay in Marcus’s arms.

Humming in approval, he doesn’t speak, letting the silence draw between you and waiting for your breathing to start slowing down.

The nap lasts about two hours. Two hours held tight in Marcus’s arms on that padded bench, and when you shift against him the small sound of noncommittal discomfort and surprise is enough to tell you that he fell asleep too. Good, you think, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Everyone deserves a reset tonight. Even little Constance.

Marcus wakes quietly, as soon as you move, and he slowly remembers that he’s not in your bed. Both of you are at the hospital. He hums and sighs softly, knowing it hadn’t been a long nap, but it will do wonders for the coming hours.

"Hey handsome." The room is quiet and so are you, sitting up to stretch beside him and bring your limbs back to life.

“How did you sleep?” Marcus asks softly, watching you through heavy eyes.

“Better than I thought I would,” you admit, though you have a feeling that’s only because you didn’t sleep deeply enough for nightmares to set in. “You?”

“Pretty good nap.” He yawns. “Although I know I’m going to have to get coffee for all of us.”

Checking your watch, you stretch again and knock against his side with a lopsided grin. “The cafeteria should be open soon. I have a map of the hospital in my bag so you won’t get lost.”

“Just for that, I’ll bring you two coffees.” He groans, standing up and stretching out. “I should get dressed.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t be the only visitor to go get coffee in your jammies.” Far from it, if you had to hazard a guess.

He snorts slightly. “I don’t doubt it. But I would hate to steal any of Juan’s new dad thunder.” He jokes, winking at you.

“Juan will be doing everything in bespoke suits with giant buttons that exclaim New Dad! for everyone he meets.” It’s sweet to think about, now that the fear is mostly past. It won’t wither entirely until you get to see mother and baby, but that should be soon.

“Of course he will.” Marcus laughs. “He’s already got an app on his phone that is just for organizing pictures of the baby.”

“Make sure you get the name of it,” you tease, leaning over to kiss him and getting one last stretch in — right into his arms. “We’ll need that for our kids, I’m sure.”

“You know it.” Marcus grins. “I’ve already downloaded it. It also has a wedding portion of the app. Basically you can upload all your important moments in it.” He doesn’t mention that he had set it up for the proposal that didn’t happen last night.

“You think of everything.” He really does, so it’s barely even an embellishment. At this point you’re just relieved that you can think of small things again instead of the larger, overhanging fear of just a few hours ago.

“Not everything.” Marcus snorts, winking at you. “Otherwise, I would have had coffee delivered by now.”

“Mostly everything, then.” One more kiss and you pull back to get your things sorted out around the room. “I’m going to tidy up a little and get out a couple of comfort things for Syd. So when she comes down she’ll have her favorite cardigan and things like that.” Absolutely anything you can do to soothe your best friend’s hellish night, you’re going to.

“That sounds perfect.” Marcus agrees. “I’ll go grab the coffee. What do you want, sweetheart?”

“Just my usual.” Your hum of appreciation is more relaxed than it would have been earlier in the night. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” He promises as he quickly starts changing into the clothes he had brought.

Marcus is gone for about a half an hour before the door to the room opens again, but when it does it's Juan there – holding the door open wide as one of the overnight workers from the transport department wheels Sydney's bed back into the room with her nurse hot on their heels.

“We are back.” His tone is exhausted but elated at the same time. It’s been a sleepless night for him. Afraid that he would close his eyes and Sydney would be gone.

"How are you feeling, honey?" You're at Sydney's side as soon as the nurse is done getting her settled. The woman has the patience of a saint and excuses herself to go retrieve Constance, who is being allowed to leave the NICU.

“Tired. Sore.” She admits with a quick, tired smile. “Impatient to hold my daughter.”

"She'll be down soon." Glancing at the door where the nurse has disappeared to bring around that same little girl, the warmth in the room starts to grow exponentially. "Marcus went to get coffees. And I'll bring sushi for lunch. Cross my heart."

“I don’t know if I’m hungry.” Sydney admits with a slight shrug. She’s still a little disoriented from the drugs. “But coffee sounds amazing. I could sleep for days.”

"Then we won't worry about food right now. But Marcus is bringing back coffee for you, and he should be back very soon." You grin at your friends and send them both a conspiratorial shrug. "I sent him with a map, otherwise you know he would have gotten lost."

Juan laughs as he fuses over Sydney, hovering as if she might disappear if he steps too far away. “He should have been a Lieutenant in the military, as bad as he is.”

“I’ve just learned to always have a map for new places or to set up the gps in his car without asking.” It’s a quirk, and you all have them, but Marcus’s ability to get lost almost anywhere is a standing joke between the four of you and it’s so, so good to hear Syd laugh. Even if it’s only a little, it’s completely worth it.

The knock on the door comes just a moment later and Marcus pokes his head in. “Oh you’re here!” He brightens up and pushes the door open, the delivery person from the flower shop hot on his heels. “I was hoping to get all this inside before you did.”

“We just got back.” Syd is groggy for sure, but not so badly that she doesn’t register the tray of coffees and bag of food with the hospital’s cafe logo on it that you jump forward to snag from him and the delivery of flowers that comes in behind him. With the tension and fear of the last few hours and all the emotions and hormones still raging in her, Sydney is immediately in tears. “You—you got flowers?” She half-squalls like it’s the kindest and most loving thing any person has ever done in the history of time. For her, especially right now, it definitely feels like it.

“Ohhhh don’t cry.” Marcus frets slightly, even though he’s pretty sure that they are happy tears. “I wanted you and Constance to have a beautiful reminder of how loved you both are.” He walks over to the recovering woman, that he now regards as his friend, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “More are coming too.” He promises.

“It’s so sweet!” Syd huffs between large tears, hugging Marcus as tightly as her recovering body will permit. “You’re so sweet.” Even after we interrupted your plans, she thinks loudly, but manages not to say it. She knows what last night was supposed to be and she hated having to call when she knew Marcus was about to sweep you out the door.

“You deserve nothing but happiness right now.” He promises, looking over at Juan and squeezing Sydney gently before he pulls back and moves over to the new father. “Congratulations.” He is somber, aware of what the agony of the night had done to his friend.

“It was a hell of a night.” Juan pulls Marcus in for a hug — something the two men need right now for grounding, but Juan also murmur, “And sorry for the timing” to Marcus before pulling away.

“Don’t ever worry about that.” Marcus insists. “Doesn’t matter if I was in the middle of it, we would have been on our way.” Yes, proposing to you and giving you a beautiful moment is important to him; but some things are always much more important and this is at the top of that priority list.

“We’ll make it work.” Juan promises quietly, glad to see you absorbing Sydney in conversation while she marvels at the flowers that Marcus ordered.

“How’s Constance doing?” Marcus asks quietly, not seeing the bassinet in the room. “Will she be released from the NICU soon?”

“Our doc said she’s stable, so she can come down and have some family time and be fed.” As a brand new father of only about two and a half hours, that has Juan both puffing out his chest and teary with pride. “The nurse should be bringing her down now.”

“That’s great!” Marcus grins, knowing that both mama and daddy will feel better with their newborn daughter in their room.

Having settled Sydney with her coffee and treat — Marcus brought muffins back from the cafe — you excuse yourself to the bathroom and feel like you can finally breathe. Syd is here. You can hear her muffled laughing through the door. And the baby will be down soon. Everyone is okay.

“Looks Marcus…” Sydney’s voice is hushed and he can tell by her guilty expression what is coming. “Please, don’t apologize again.” He begs her softly. “There is nothing to apologize for.”

“I can call Kingbird,” she offers immediately. Explain it was my fault you had to cancel and get you a new reservation.”

“No.” He shakes his head and glances back at the bathroom. “I don’t think she’s going to be leaving your side for quite awhile and I cannot in good conscience try to convince her otherwise.”

He insists that she shouldn’t apologize more but Sydney still feels like she ought to, pursing her lips until she eventually tilts her head to look up at the men standing side by side at her bed. “You could still do it tonight if you wanted to,” she offers. It’s technically morning now — past six, anyway — but she hasn’t gotten any sleep yet so everything blends together. “It…” she blows out a sigh. “I know it wasn’t the easiest night.” For her especially. “But it would be nice to have Constance’s birth surrounded by happiness. Instead of what might have happened.”

Marcus considers it for a moment, frowning slightly and he bites his lip. “That is— are you sure?” He would never want to take away from Constance and her birth.

Sydney sits back in her hospital bed and takes Juan’s hand, letting him anchor her the way you always do with Marcus. “I don’t want the only thing I remember about the day my daughter was born to be that both of us almost died,” she admits quietly, knowing it’s a little selfish to ask him for this but also knowing that the happy memories you make together mean everything to the four of you.

He can understand that and he bites his lip. “Then….what do you think about me proposing here?” He asks. “It’s not the most romantic setting, but I think under the circumstances, it’s the best place to do it.”

“There’s flowers and best friends and I know you brought her back her favourite muffin.” Juan chuckles, feeling a bit misty eyed over more good things happening. “What’s more romantic than that?”

“Maybe we can do something that involves the baby?” Marcus suggests.

“I will squall.” Sydney warns, already tearing up all over again. “But quickly before she comes back…wrap the ring box in the baby blanket?”

“Perfect.” Marcus dives for the bag that had been packed for Constance and finds the soft baby blanket they had decided to wrap her in while in the hospital. “When the baby comes in, ask her to get the blanket for you.” Marcus tells Sydney.

“If we can keep a straight face,” Syd laughs, but agrees immediately.

Marcus hides the ring box in the folds of the blanket. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“More than.” Sydney promises, right before the bathroom door opens.

You had washed up a little again, refreshing yourself and feeling a little more human while you were in the bathroom. “Did you manage to rest a little while you were upstairs?” Your focus is right back on Sydney but you take a second to give Marcus a kiss of thanks when he hands you your coffee.

“Yes.” She’s still tired and exhausted, but she smiles. “I did, you don’t worry about me.” She huffs, knowing that it won’t do any good. You will fret over her just like Juan will. “Looking forward to sushi later.”

“We’ll have a sushi party and baby girl can get milk drunk like a party animal.” Making the best of what had been a nearly calamitous situation is good for everyone’s spirits right now. You help the guys set up a little area as a breakfast ‘table’ for the three of you and set Sydney’s things on her tray. It’s about time for the morning shows that Juan loves so the tv goes on, and seconds later the nurse enters with her bundled up charge yawning as loudly as her little lungs can manage.

“Oh my god.” Marcus coos as soon as he sees the little angel in the flesh. She is perfect and nothing will convince him otherwise, falling in love with his goddaughter in a split second. “She’s so precious.”

“She’s perfect.” As expected, Sydney and Juan are both in tears all over again, and the nurse who helped Sydney get comfortable upstairs makes sure Mom and Dad have everything they need before bowing out to let the family bond.

“She’s beyond perfect.” It’s all you can do not to cry with them, looking at your best friend and goddaughter together.

“Isn’t she?” Sydney completely agrees as she finally gets to hold her newborn daughter. Completely in awe of how perfect she is.

The room is practically full of the sound of smiling, whatever that really is, but you end up half-laughing under your breath and looking to Marcus with fresh water behind your eyes. "I want one too," you laugh, overwhelmed with absolute joy and love.

He laughs at your eagerness, the yearning and knows that you are only partially joking. “I don’t know if we could top how perfect she is.” He admits with his own chuckle.

"Maybe not." The only possible place for you to be right now is snuggled into his side and you tuck yourself in there to just stare at your goddaughter together. "We can't know until we try, though."

Sydney spares a glance at Marcus, who nods as he holds you close. “We have to get through a few other things first.” He reminds you.

"I know." You hum when he presses a kiss to the top of your head and sigh again. "I just love her so much and I wanna give her everything. Including playmates."

Sydney coos at Constance and cuddles her closer. “Birdie, would you get me her baby blanket?” She asks softly. “From her bag? I want her in the things we picked out.”

"Yeah, of course!" You hop to immediately, slipping out of Marcus's arms to go to the bag Sydney packed. The baby blanket from Sydney's parents is folded near the top. It's a light thing, a beautiful hand knitted piece done in their chosen color of green and then embroidered with the initials CMB for Constance Marie Badillo.

The blanket slips a little in your hand when you pick it up, and when you go to right it a small but weighty something falls out from the center. The realization that it's probably something that Juan tucked away as a surprise for Sydney has you tucking it back inside quickly and handing over the blanket like you're suddenly holding a hot potato.

Sydney hadn’t been expecting you to hand over the blanket so fast so she pushes towards you again for a moment. “Hold it please.” She requests, knowing you will do anything. She has to give Marcus time to get into position.

"Of course," you agree again, bobbing your head on a nod. Glancing over at Juan makes you wonder if you should do something to help, like opening up the blanket so she can see the little jewelry box or something. Maybe hold it sort of presentationally? You can't quite make up your mind and end up clutching the blanket to your chest in surprise when you hear Marcus clear his throat and whirl around to see him down on one knee in the middle of the little hospital room.

That jewelry box was definitely not for Sydney...

“Before you panic, I have the happy new parent’s permission.” Marcus promises as he reaches for the hand that is not clutching the blanket protectively. “And today is a celebration. Of life, and love.” He tells you softly.

"Oh my god." It's just about all you can think to say as you choke on a fresh round of tears and tighten your fingers in his hand.

“I know.” Marcus flashes you a grin. “Sweetheart, there is no one else I want by my side, confiding in, planning for the future and sharing part of my soul with.” He promises you. “I love everything about you and there is not one thing that I could possibly imagine changing. I love your loyalty to friends and family, your work ethic and your tenacity. Your tender heart and your penchant for dreaming.” He takes a big breath, clearly saying your full name. “Will you marry me?”

He can barely finish the question before your thick, cracking voice is chirping endless yeses. Before you're crumpling to your knees to kiss him, cradling the blanket between you as delicately as if the baby was already wrapped in it. "I love you" gets mixed in with all the "Yes!" and more "Oh my god" as if you can't quite believe that it's finally happening. From the moment that the two of you individually became a unit, you've both known that this was the direction you were heading in. But now that you're here? It feels even better than you could ever have guessed.

He knew your answer, he’s known it, but he still giggles in relief and cupping your cheek to kiss you. “I love you.” He promises softly, pecking your lips again and again. He hears both Juan and Sydney sniffling happily and knows this was the right call.

For a moment the room is just happy tears and sniffles and giggling, and you’re both so jittery that you get a little mixed up in retrieving the ring box from deep inside the handmade baby blanket in your arms. Marcus had said he bought your promise and engagement rings together so they would match and of course his decision is perfect — the haloed diamond stands out over heart shaped stones of the promise ring he gave you months ago, and the fact that they’re from him makes them so perfect you could just fall apart right here in his arm.

“It was.” He admits with a modest tilt of his head. “But I think that this might be even better. “Your best friend and goddaughter got to witness it.”

“And your best friend too.” No one who ever ran into Marcus and Juan now would think they had spent so many years apart. They’re more likely to be mistaken for twins than anything else, and actually had been on a dinner out a few weeks ago.

“It makes it better than anything else.” He nods in agreement, looking over at your friends. “We are friends and family.”

“Matron of honor and best man?” It’s hardly a question, but Marcus has slipped the beautifully shimmering engagement ring onto your finger and you glance back over at your tearful friends with absolute joy. “And the tiniest, sweetest, most perfect little flower girl in the whole world?”

“The perfect flower girl.” Marcus agrees with his own emotional chuckle. “And of course they are our matron of honor and best man. What else could they possibly be?”

“Your caterer.” Syd half-complains with a pout, but it’s so half-hearted that she just ends up laughing through the tears. “Get over here and let us hug you two, and meet your goddaughter up close. Obviously we’re going to be whatever you want us to be. All three of us.”

“Not going to happen.” Marcus snorts, shooting Sydney a smile. “You’re going to participate in the reception. But…” he shrugs. “We will let you create our menu.”

“Here we go.” Juan teases, gently taking the baby blanket out of your arms to wrap up his daughter with the already precious heirloom. “Breakfast and wedding planning.” He grins down at Sydney. “I’ll get your notebook and take notes. You focus on our angel.”

Marcus laughs because he knows that’s exactly what will happen. Although there might be a little more cooing over the baby than anything else going on. As it is, he can’t wait to get his hands on her.

“I already know what wedding cake you want.” Syd grins, readjusting in her seat so this conversation can include food for everyone, including little Constance. She’s already gotten her little girl to latch once without a hellish amount of trouble so she’s hoping to do it on her own this time.

There has already been plenty of conversation about Sydney breastfeeding, but Marcus busies himself with his bag while she gets her daughter situated. It’s not because he’s weirded out, just a respect thing, giving the new mother time to get used to being exposed without feeling like she’s in a fishbowl.

“I’m covered,” Sydney assures him, after a few minutes of fussing where Marcus does anything but look directly at her. His respect level is top notch and she appreciates that about him. “Let’s talk food, please? And—” Before she can even ask, Juan is handing her a cup of water and she melts and murmurs a quiet “Thank you.”

“I just wanted to give you some time.” Marcus joins the small group, sitting down when you stand up and pulling you into his lap while Juan sits on the bed with his wife and child. “So right off the bat, what’s your first ideas?” He’s smart enough to know the final menu will be completely different from the first one.

“Americana.” You and Sydney grin at each other and you lean back in Marcus’s lap to sip your coffee while you talk. “Updated versions of classic American dishes.”

“What would that look like?” He asks, frowning in confusion. “Meat loaf?”

“Could be.” Sydney nods. “It could be things like gourmet versions of tv dinners.”

“Or it could be modern versions of older popular dishes,” you nod in agreement. “Like upscale Steak Diane or deconstructed chicken pot pie.”

“Finger foods?” Marcus asks. “I’m sure there will have to be a buffet of canapés.”

“Depends on the events.” Smiling around a sip of iced coffee, you press a kiss to Marcus’s temple a second later. “I’m thinking four.”

“Four events?” Marcus chuckles. “That’s bachelorette party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner and wedding?”

“Maybe five,” you admit with a sheepish grin. “You said you wanted to have an engagement party.”

“I think that it’s a good place for the publicity your mom wants.” He reminds you.

“Five events is a lot, but if we space them out I think we can manage it.” Looking down at him with an absolute glow on your face, your brand new engagement ring catches the light and makes your chest swell. “What season do you want to get married in?”

“Any one you want.” It’s fair in his mind, he’s been married before and all that matters to him is that you repeat your vows in front of friends and family. What the weather is like doesn’t matter a lick to him. “I guess it depends on how fast we can get it planned?”

“Don’t do less than six months,” Juan warns. His cousin had rushed things to disastrous consequences.

“I wouldn’t.” You can totally agree to that. “My impulse would be to say a year but…I’ve kind of always liked the idea of a summer wedding.” Chewing on the idea, you turn your eyes back down to Marcus again. “Roses stop blooming at the end of the summer.”

“Early fall?” He suggests. “October? It gives us seven months. And you will more than likely have White House help.” He shrugs. “Along with mine, of course.”

“If we did October, maybe I can do a summer bridal shower in the White House rose garden?” Your eyes widen, practically begging. “I would really love to use the rose garden.”

“Then you better make sure your mom doesn’t book it for a tea party.” He teases with a wink, reaching for your hand that now holds his engagement ring. “I think October is perfect. Hell, we could do a Halloween rehearsal dinner.” He jokes.

“Don’t even tease me about that,” you huff. A Halloween event would be exactly your style. “Halloween next year is on a Wednesday, otherwise I would be begging you to get married on Halloween.”

“Baby, if that’s what you want….” He shoots Juan a grin and shrugs. “I’m okay with that.”

“I don’t want to get married on a Wednesday night.” No one parties deep into a Wednesday night in their thirties. It doesn’t feel as special to you. “How about we get married earlier in October and I talk you into visiting the Paris catacombs with me on Halloween night during our honeymoon?”

“That works for me just as easily as anything else.” Marcus promises. “Only thing I care about is you and I celebrating our love and making a public commitment to each other.”

“I love you, too.” If it were just the two of you, you would be getting dressed to run off to a soulmate chapel immediately. But promises have been made and they need to be honored, and every chance to declare your love for Marcus loud and clear is worth taking. “Any Pike family traditions we should keep in mind that I don’t know about already?”

Marcus smiles. “There’s a jewelry set that is passed down to be used in the wedding, if wanted.” He adds. “It was my great, great grandmother’s.”

“Really?” Your expression softens immediately, eyes widening a little, and you nod right away. There is no question in your mind that you’re going to wear it. “Your Mom swore to pass down some family recipes after the wedding but she never mentioned heirlooms.”

“It’s only ever offered after the engagement.” He explains. “We had a certain cousin’s wife - I’m sure you can guess who - think that it was for her to keep.”

When Sydney and Juan look equal parts amused and confused, you snicker slightly. “Hannah has very interesting thoughts about the family,” you tell them, glossing over the few less than kind things Hannah Pike had said either to you or that had been relayed to you. “Which reminds me. I’m absolutely going to ask Selena to be a bridesmaid.”

“Sydney, you will love her.” Marcus promises. “She’ll be flying out every other weekend to help you plan.” He warns you. “Or just staying out here, she can work from anywhere.”

“She’s been thinking about moving,” you admit, barely biting back a grin at how much fun it would be to have her nearby permanently. Marcus’s cousin has become one of your closest friends in the months since your first visit to Texas. “She said she wants to come see what winter is like here to make sure it’s not too bad, but her office is opening a DC branch and asked her if she would be interested in heading up the new team out here.”

“How do you know that and I don’t?” He asks, putting on a faux pout.

“Because she hasn’t told your aunt and uncle yet and she didn’t want it to get back to the family.” That grin of yours becomes full force and you kiss his temple again. “She was trying to save you from having to lie if you got asked.”

“Well, then, you didn’t say anything to me.” He mimes zipping his lips and locking them to throw away the key.

"Probably a good policy," you agree, snickering quietly even as you squeeze his shoulders tightly.

There’s a sense of lazy content in the room. Everyone slowly savors the baked goods that Marcus had brought and sips their coffee. The baby, Constance, is the noisiest of them all, her hungry sucking and grasping one that makes all the adults smile as they look at her every thirty seconds.

She is Sydney’s entire focus, and when the baby is done with her own breakfast there is a little fuss over making sure she’s burped properly before she cuddles up against her mother’s chest to have a post-meal nap. Something that makes Sydney sigh in relief and hold her close. “You’d never know how bad last night almost was by looking at her.”

“Children are resilient.” Marcus muses. “She will never remember her birth and be completely unaffected by it, while it will stay with us forever.”

“All the better.” Sydney soothes one hand over her sleeping daughter’s back.

Marcus watches the loving gesture, almost aching for the time where he can watch you soothe the children you will have together. Will you look as much like Madonna and Child like Sydney does now? He thinks it will be even more profound like undoubtedly Juan feels like it is.

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

HHL: @haileymorelikestupid @anoverwhelmingdin @storiesofthefandomlovers @missladym1981 @babeincolor @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Marcus Pike #Marcus Pike x you #Marcus Pike x reader #Marcus Pike x female reader #Marcus Pike x f!reader #The Mentalist #soulmate au #First Daughter reader #Juan Badillo #Graceland #Juan Badillo x f!OC #Juan Badillo x OC #pregnancy tw #childbirth tw #traumatic birth

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crow-n-tell · 2 years ago

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HELLO AND WELCOOOOME TO!

What kind of jellyfish is sun?

I got some requests about getting a lil layout of what jellyfish types I combined to get him the way I did for moon in this post. It’s not as fun and detailed as moons because, let’s face it: jellyfish are pretty straight forward but!! Here

Phacellophora Camtschatica

aka The Fried Egg Jellyfish.

This is the biggest and most obvious part of Sunny’s design, he‘s an egg boy and I love him for it. But also there’s an interesting bit about the relationship between fried egg jellyfish and larval crabs. See these lil baby crabs?

Yeah so they climb inside fried egg jellyfish and just. RIDE AROUND IN THEIR BELL? Consequences be damned lil dudes chillin in there getting a ride. Which makes this the second time I’ve seen other animals use jellyfish as transportation. Baby octopus, baby crabs, with sun’s size it’s safe to say reader could probably do the same.

Though maybe reader wouldn’t want to do that because the whole reason larval crabs are chilling in their bell is also because jellyfish, while not capable of being infected by parasites cause they… they don’t have the bits that help parasites do the meat suit piloting… are carriers of parasites! They just walk around with em chilling in there. Larval crabs love monchin on em.

Next up is!!

Chrysaora Fuscesscens

aka

Honestly pacific sea nettles don't have many interesting facts about them. What can I say? they are very very long - talking 15 feet long. Other than that there isn't much else to say, I wish I could list something insane off like, OH THEY’VE GOT LAZER EYES. Nope. These guys float around looking like beautiful undersea mushrooms and they need no special skills to do that.

Uh. Yeah it’s not a jellyfish. This specially has to do with Sunny’s electric ability. Maybe you were thinking, oh so he’s like electric eels? (Which actually aren’t eels! They are a type of knife fish) no no, I am a perfectionist! I aim for accuracy and I also aim for the fun of science. While jellyfish cannot actually 🎵 shock you like a electric eel 🎶, jellyfish can SORT OF generate electricity.

Via a green gooey substance in the bells of jellyfish, scientists have discovered that by exposing it to ultraviolet light it produces electrons. Layman's terms? SOLAR POWERED GOO. While jellyfish have not harnessed the solar goo, scientists have actually found a way of using it to make a new form of green electricity!

So while Sun isn't electric the way an electric eel is, he still has a way of using electricity to make him a pretty powerful lil taser. Enough to put something smaller than him in a cardiac arrest, and give something his size or bigger a good reason to scamper off.

SOLAR POWERED SUN!

Which leads to my finishing notes.

While sun uses his zapper stuff quite a bit, he does have a regular sting too. While relatively less lethal than his zapping for bigger creatures, it does function as a paralytic! For smaller creatures it’s Uh…. Its a lil more dangerous. Good thing neoprene is sting proof haha.

And I had something else…

I recently posted a magma with Sunny sleeping.

This is based around the jellyfish that scientist found out sleep, Cassiopeia.

They are usually just chilling like that, bell down. Looking at them like this it really makes you think about how closely related they are to sea anemones huh? Lil freaks.

Sometime soon I’ll post a eclipse version of this, which I’m excited about because I love sharks SO MUCH.

#my art #mermaid au #the daycare attendant #mermaid dca #jellyfish!sun

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selfishpresley · 30 days ago

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When the infantilization of drivers fail: the case with lando norris

Personal watching of Formula One from my perspective started out with Michael Schumacher.

A man that embodied the Ferrari ideal driver. Someone with a very strong mind. A great talent with a fast car that created a combination within the sport that was only replicated with the Mercedes dominance that he had a hand in creating.

This was more than twenty years ago, and when a lot of young motorsports fans were kids.

This was the first wave to the rising popularity of the sport.

Sebastian Vettel, people could argue, contributed to the second. Daniel Ricciardo had a hand in the next coming waves. Lewis Hamilton moreso.

In the past five years, we've seen an exponential increase in spectators for formula one. Mostly to do with the popularity of 'Drive to Survive'.

From the casual fan to the most obsessed, the way that fans view drivers range from a deep love to the most ardent hate.

No matter what the opinion might be with Lando Norris, he is a victim to a kind of thinking that has affected the younger drivers from the 2019 lineup.

Victim might be too sympathetic of a word. Especially given that his media presence has helped create the kind of under-dog characterization that his fans have held onto.

You could say that this was because of the younger fans coming into Formula 1 are leaving their previous 'fandoms' of K-Pop or Taylor Swift or Sherlock or Doctor Who.

They do have a hand in perpetrating a kind of; infantilization of drivers.

Although, they are not to blame when it comes to Lando Norris.

This video by Dakota Sage, titled "The Babygirl-ification of Formula One", reminded me of the kind of online perspective that many recent fans have of certain drivers. (the video is very anti-RPF)

Baby-girlification or infantilization has been around for a long time, mostly affecting women to fetishize their already young age. It is just a recent thing that began to affect fully grown men. The term 'this *insert grown man here* is so baby girl!', has been a recent development in the broader issue of fan behaviour.

A lot of men in these fan-sports spaces like to make fun of, a mostly female kind of comments of certain drivers.

Lauding themselves as a superior sports fan because 'they aren't like these girls that only like a driver because he's physically attractive'. Or they take the sport seriously.

This kind of thinking is not only hypocritical but it causes a further alienation of new audiences that formula one is so desperate to get.

It's not just 'women know nothing about sports', it's evolved to 'these women don't know enough and they just like to see a pretty face'.

It creates a kind of 'men-women' rivalry that is very reductive to the general atmosphere that motorsports brings. Especially with the modernization of sports in general.

I will say that this is not just exclusive to online spaces. It's seen rarely in real life events. Mostly people waiting outside hotels of certain drivers (parasocial) or others giving out friendship bracelets (kind/normal some could say) or the obsession with WAGs (parasocial and psychotic when it becomes harmful).

In the case of infantilization, we will focus on one driver. (Note: there are many that are baby-girlified. Mostly white males.)

One 'under-dog'.

Lando Norris.

Lando Norris began his career at the young age of nineteen. Joining a large team that had been struck by cheating scandals and weak engines, McLaren had fostered Norris' talent two years prior. It took little time for people to fantasize that Lando could be the next great british racing champion.

The next Lewis Hamilton...

He was this young driver that started off strongly, showed great promise with more experience.

In the early years, Lando was at the forefront of people's minds.

"Little Lando Norris' was the young boyish British darling. And that has not changed as of the Mexican GP in 2024. A far cry from the 'golden days' of Michael Schumacher, Lando Norris was seen as everybody's son.

The only thing that has changed is how he is viewed within online spaces.

During the Max Verstappen dominance last year, during the Silverstone Grand Prix, Lando Norris was looking like a real contender to be the one of the other few drivers to win a race that season that weren't Max or Checo.

Lando qualified 2nd, and the majority of the people that didn't want to see Max win. Including fans of Lewis Hamilton. Some Checo fans. Charles fans. From one corner of the world to another, people were rooting for Lando to win.

What could have been his first win was taken by Max, he was about three seconds behind. He led a lap for a second it seemed.

And people had hope that the Red Bull dominance was going to end, especially in a season where things 'started getting boring'.

The online reception to Lando was at its best.

It looked like the set of recording 'we are the world' on Twitter before it started getting popular on Tumblr. Tiktoks were made supporting the British driver. Instagram videos and post coming out to support him.

Today, if we exclude the loyal Lando fans, online reception to Lando Norris has taken a nosedive.

Many could attribute this to his backhanded comments about certain drivers, his attitude with fans, his behavior with certain drivers.

All of that could be forgiven.

Lando is a wealthy, white, attractive by european standards, successful young male.

Worse people have been forgiven and defended for much worse things.

Now why is this now not being forgiven? Why is this not working now?

What happened to everybody's under-dog?

What happened to Pookie or babygirl Lando?

The infantilization of Lando at the beginning of his career has attributed in the negative public opinion.

It has failed him.

It is the reason that people in many online spaces don't like him anymore.

The fans have been convinced that Lando was just a kid. A boy that was so good, that he was racing in the highest series of motorsports because of his talent at a very young age. In our minds Lando was our little brother.

A child, one could argue.

If you see a driver as a child, or worse yet, a babyish man; you will attribute each one of his flaws to childishness.

He complains? or he whines like a baby? Is he sassy or rude? Is he reporting broken rules or snitching?

Lando fans would just see it normally, the rest less so. Most would see it as a young man with negative attributes. Moreso now that Lando has gained confidence in the sport. Has gained experience. Has a competitive car now that is competing with Ferrari and Red Bull. Two teams that have dominated the sports for eras at a time.

Now... Where did it all change?

There was no watershed moment.

More attention, more time in the sport, more success; comes with more 'hate'.

Especially when Lando Norris doesn't do much to help with the accusations against him.

He's whiny? Then you see a video of him complaining about a racing incident.

He's annoying? His particular brand of humor is put on display.

His team is definitely not helping.

McLaren has turned into a once great team that housed the likes of Senna to a team that stole documents from Ferrari to a team that likes to toe the line of being likeable.

And it's not Lando's fault in this case.

Lando is up against everybody else.

His public image is against everybody else's.

He isn't the young talent anymore, but in people's minds he is still so young. He's 'little lando norris', he's the streamer that plays with his friends online like most boys do.

Lando Norris is still seen with Lolita colored glasses. And it's not helping his recent success and his popular 'hate'.

A thing to note, there are valid criticisms to the decline in Lando's image.

His comments on someone's favorite driver. His behaviour with certain fans and drivers.

His poorly hidden following tab which includes the likes of Andrew Tate.

His lucky charm in the form of former president Donald Trump.

These are things that need to be brought up more often and in conjunction with criticism of other drivers. Including favorite drivers.

Infantilization of drivers could be innocuous, if it didn't continue past the age where they should be seen as a baby girl.

#draft #will fine tweak it #lando norris #not a hate post #not anti-lando #or maybe it is...#more of a perspective of this one caseeee.#i will add more but i need to do more research #but this is straight off the dome and loosely following my own blurry memories #f1

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southparktegreity · 2 years ago

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♡ what they look for in a girl

[stan marsh x reader] ; [kyle brof. x reader]

[kenny mc. x reader] ; [leopold butters stotch x reader]

[tolkien b. x reader] 🟊

gender : female cws : minor nsfw

requested : yes! thank you anon ! relationship : none mentioned

authors note : i wanted to write what they look for in personality traits, instead of appearance, hope that was okay!

NOTICE : as always, these characters are aged up to be in college 19/20+!

stanley marsh :

♡ i feel like he'd really want someone who is comfortable with silence, like being alone together in the same room doing separate things, yet enjoying each others presence. i think quiet time/being able to be around each other while being quiet is important to him, since he has to deal with so much talking in south park in general.

♡ i also think he's want someone who's really stable in his life. like he wouldn't necessarily want a girl who's always mentally stable, but more like he wants to be able to depend on someone especially during harder moments when he's struggling. he’d want to find stability in your relationship.

♡ definitely wants a girl who can take their relationship seriously but also who can kind of be playful at times. since stan is kind of a ticking time bomb, he'll want someone who's kind of also emotionally smart enough to tell when something is off with him because he struggles with expressing those same emotions.

♡ trust. this one is probably the biggest one for stan, he needs stability and trust in a relationship with anyone. he needs to be able to trust you'll be honest with him.

♡ i think all of this combined with support and love for him is what he looks for in a partner :)

kyle broflovski :

♡ as i'm sure everyone knows, he'd want someone very family oriented! even if you aren't close with your own family, as long as you care about having a family in the future, or are close to his own family i think that's good enough for him.

♡ would also really want someone to be on good terms with his mom and ike, since his dad is fairly easy to get along with and his mom is very much the head of the household - he'd want a girl to get along with her - even if that means looking at his baby photos with her.

♡ also would want someone who might be interested in religion, or at the very least doesn't make fun of him for his own.

♡ looks for communication in relationships, especially if he did something wrong? he’d want to know as soon as it happened. he’s probably a bit worried of losing you, or being abandoned by you because of heidi and that whole situation, so someone who can easily communicate their issues are reassure him everything is okay and stable in their relationship is perfect for him.

♡ i get the impression that his standards are kind of on the floor, with his mistreatment from cartman and heidi both, he just wants someone who won't leave him or make fun of him or his insecurities.

kenny mccormick :

♡ definitely wants a girl who will try anything once, if you catch my drift. especially if you'll initiate it as well? or seem invested in trying something new with him :)

♡ i feel like he’d really like someone to crack jokes with. i think he shares eric’s similar sense of humor but doesn’t actually want to full blown do the whole ‘eric’ thing all the time (ie dealing with cartman). sometimes i think he just wants to make a lil bit of fun with you! you know?

♡ he’d probably also want someone who’s a little more on the adventurous side, who’s probably a bit ambitious, again someone who’d be willing to try anything once. he probably really wants someone around who can also have their own wild side!

♡ also probably looks for someone who is kind to karen, especially if it means her crashing your guys dates.

♡ overall i feel like he doesn't have a huuuge preference, but more like he just wants someone he can get along with! definitely someone with a sense of humor similar to him.

leopold butters stotch :

♡ this is just my totally personal opinion but i feel like he'd really like someone also outgoing and also understanding? he might always be worried he's messing up or something while being with you, but would want you to be understanding when he makes a mistake.

♡ a little bit of chaos goes a long way. someone who will be able to create a little chaos with him from time to time would definitely be something he wants in a girl.

♡ playful intimacy, he doesn't wanna feel insecure with those intimate moments he has with you, but i think a little bit of playfulness with each other would totally brighten his day.

♡ i feel like he'd really look for a sense of belonging in a girl, somewhere where he fits in, and feels safe. since he doesn't get a lot of that at home, he'd really want to feel far from his home around a girl.

♡ to be honest i don't think butters thinks too much about what he wants, it just kind of happens for him.

tolkien black :

♡ i feel like tolkien probably looks for someone who's really good at communicating. he'd want to avoid any and all drama, considering he's got enough of it just living in south park normally.

♡ this one is kind of a given, but i feel like he'd want a girl who's more on the mature side, similar to stan but in a different way. he'd want a girl with more of her own interests and things that she enjoys. he really wants someone who's able to talk to him about mature things and not have to be worried too much that you won't take it seriously.

♡ someone self confident i imagine, i think he already has enough going on that he doesn't necessarily want to be worried about you on top of his family and everything else. which isn't to say he won't support you during your down moments, but being confident in yourself is probably a big one for him.

♡ this all ties in with the other ones, but self reliance and being good to yourself is probably big for him, again he doesn't wanna be in charge of you but will definitely take care of you when you need it - you know?

♡ overall, he just wants someone who's a bit normal or at least a bit less hectic or crazy than the rest of south park.

#south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park #kyle x reader #kyle broflovski #tolkien x reader #token x reader #kenny x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #butters stotch x reader #leopold butters stotch x reader #stan x y/n #stan x reader

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matty-bear · 8 months ago

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Curing Dysphoria [N.S]

type: fic !

pairing: nick sturniolo x trans ftm!reader

warnings: SFW, fluff, angst (???), mentions and talk of dysphoria, going on testosterone

summary: you have always struggled heavily with dysphoria ever since you came out as trans. You tried your best to cure it but nothing seemed to work, despite all of your efforts. When you're having another spiral about your dysphoria, nick decides to call up a friend of his who ends up giving you advice that would eventually rid all of your dysphoria and help you pass.

notes: decided we needed more nick x trans ftm fics in this community so i cooked smth up ;3 dont be shy to send in requests that include a trans reader for nick fics ! i am a trans guy myself so writing some will most likely help me feel better abt myself . also its so over for you mfs when i go on t

WC: 4151

previous events will be in italics !

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

Your journey with being a trans male was always difficult for you. It was never easy for anyone, so why would you expect it to be easy for you? You constantly struggled with gender expression and dysphoria ever since you came to terms with your gender in your early years of middle school. You often spent hours upon hours sobbing on the floor of your bathroom because you didn’t feel like you were passing enough or simply didn’t like how you looked in general.

Ever since you started dating Nick, who knew of you being trans way before you guys started dating due to you coming out to him when you two became very close friends, he always gave you constant support when you felt shitty about yourself. He often held you close to him when you were having an episode and whispered sweet words that consisted of “You’re such a pretty boy,” “My precious boy,” and “You're so handsome, baby.”

His reassurance never failed to calm you down for the time being. However as you continued to date Nick and your dysphoria grew worse, you knew you had to do something about it. However, since you weren’t friends or aware of other trans people in the community, you didn’t know who to turn to for help.

The most you were doing to try to help with your dysphoria was cutting your hair short, binding with either a binder or tape, and dressing yourself in the most masculine way possible. (This was the least you could do or rather think of to try to make yourself pass as a guy) If you wanted to try extra hard to pass, you would put some makeup on to make certain features pop out more, like your sideburns and cheekbones.

However, you felt that this wasn’t doing enough for you and didn’t feel like you were passing enough despite the constant reassurance from Nick, his brothers, and your friends. You still hated your voice, (which seemed too high for your liking) the thinness of your limbs, and just how feminine you felt and looked as a whole.

When you were spiraling and sobbing profusely in the bathroom one afternoon with Nick holding you tightly against him, the boy knew he had to figure out a way to help you.

After a while, your cries eventually subside to soft sniffles. Even though your eyes seemingly ran out of tears to shed, you still felt the need to cry more. You slowly open your eyes and take in the minimal light in the bathroom, the main light source being Nick’s single candle resting on the counter in front of you. Simply looking at the light causes your eyes to strain and you soon find yourself shutting them again with a soft hiss.

As you rest your head back on Nick’s chest with a heavy exhale and gaze down at your body, you feel the male shift underneath you. You quickly lift your head at the small move and watch as your boyfriend takes his phone out of his pocket and pulls it to his face, a focused expression clear on his face.

“What are you doing?” You ask, your voice coming out hoarse due to all the crying you just did.

“Trying to call a friend of mine,” Nick replies, his gaze staying fixed on his cell as his eyes scan the screen.

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you continue to gaze at the male. “Can I ask for what?”

“I’m asking them for advice on your behalf.”

“Advice? Like for being trans?”

“Yup.”

Your eyebrows kit together even more at Nick’s statement. A few beats of silence flow between the two of you, the only sound being the soft tapping Nick draws from his cell as he taps on his screen. After a moment, you speak up again, “You know someone that’s trans?”

“Yeah, he’s the coolest mother fucker I know. After you of course. You have to meet him sometime.” Nick momentarily looks down at you to send you a warm smile before diverting his eyes back to his phone. “Anyways, he came out as trans about six years ago and I'm sure he’ll know how to help you with your dysphoria and stuff. I would give you advice on this myself but I'm not trans and don’t want to misguide you or anything.”

You softly nod your head and sit up a little to peer down at Nick’s phone, your eyes intently watching his fingers flex as they diligently work on tapping and scrolling on his screen. After a few moments, Nick pulls up a contact and hits the call button.

“Would you like to talk to him yourself?” Nick asks gently, the hand that’s resting on your side gently caressing your clothed skin. “I can put it on speaker if you’d like. If not, that’s perfectly fine and I can do the speaking for you.”

You force your lips together as you ponder for a moment. “I can talk to him.” You reply with a small head nod. “Can you help me through? Like, talk to him?”

“Of course.” Just as Nick lands a soft peck on your temple, the muffled sound of shuffling runs through your ears. You quickly whip your head around at the sudden sound, your eyes soon landing on Nick’s phone. At the sight of the ongoing call screen, you relax a little and gaze up at Nick, waiting for him to make the first move.

“Kit?” Nick calls after a few moments. Immediately, the muffling sounds come to a quick halt and silence can be heard on the other line.

“Nick?” Kit calls back, the deep and smoothness of his voice causing your eyes to widen ever so slightly.

The male simply uttered a reply and you’re already intimidated.

“Are you busy right now?” Nick asks.

“No?..” Kit’s voice trails off, pure and utter confusion laced in his tone. “Wait, did I call you or did you call me?”

“I called you. Did you think it was the other way around?”

“To be honest, yeah.” Kit chuckles softly, “What’s up though?”

“You know y/n right?”

“Yeah, of course I do. You won’t shut the fuck up about him.” Your jaw slacks at the comment and you slowly turn your head to look over at Nick, the sight of the red tint dusting over his cheeks and tips of his ears causing you to smile cheekily. When Nick doesn’t reply after a few seconds, the sound of Kit laughing softly sounds in your ears. “Sorry, had to. But what about him? Is everything alright?”

“Not necessarily. His dysphoria has been getting bad lately and I have no idea how to help him.”

“Oh, I see. Is he with you right now? I want to ask him some stuff if that’s alright with you.”

“He’s right here with me actually.”

“Oh, sweet. Hey, y/n!” Kit greets, his tone nothing but friendly. You could sense that the boy was smiling on the other end just by how cheerful he sounded. “I wasn’t lying about Nick yapping about you. I swear to God that kid does not have an off button when it comes to you.”

“Kit, I swear to God. Shut the hell up. I called you for help not to be called out.” Nick grumbles through gritted teeth.

“Sorry, I’m stopping. Anyways, y/n do you mind telling me what you’re struggling with the most right now? You could tell me everything. I just want to know what’s going on in that head of yours right now so I can give you the best advice.”

After glancing over at Nick with an anxious expression and gaining an encouraging kiss on the lips from him, you begin to open up to Kit about everything. During your small rant, Kit listened intently and only hummed here and there to let you know he was listening. When you’re finished, you exhale heavily and wipe away the few tears that managed to escape your irises with the back of your hand.

“I think I know what you need,” Kit says, the soft and quick pattering of footsteps sounding from his end.

“You do?” You ask, your eyebrows knitting together as you gaze down at Nick’s phone.

“Yup. There’s this thing that the majority of trans people use called Testosterone. Or better known as ‘T.’ It helps our body go get rid of the feminine traits that we have and practically replace them with masculine ones. I’ve been taking ‘T’ for about five years now and it’s helped cure all of my dysphoria. Shits a life changer I'm telling you.”

“What are the effects of it? Like what are the changes exactly?”

“Well for starters, they vary between trans guys but it makes them taller, helps with hair and public hair growth, muscle gain, voice changes, and they develop a higher…” Kit's voice trails off at the end of his sentence, tension suddenly filling the air as silence sounds from his end.

“Higher what?” You ask, worry and panic filling your veins as your hand raises to your mouth. Just as you begin to bite your nails out of anxiousness, Kit clears his throat before he continues.

“Sex drive. You have a higher sex drive. I would go into more depth about it but I assume you haven’t gone through a bottom surgery and still have your area so I won't get into it. Also, a very important thing, if you continue to take ‘T,’ your period will eventually stop.”

“Are you serious?” Your mouth opens slightly in shock at Kit’s last statement. “Like the period thing.”

“Dead serious. I'm telling you this shit is a fucking live saver. Anyways, you think you're up to taking it?”

“It sounds heavenly so absolutely. How do I get it?”

“Well, you need to get it prescribed to you by a doctor. I can send you to mine so you won’t have to be as anxious going to the office. I promise you, they’re the sweetest person ever and will be so patient with you during the first few weeks or so of you taking it.”

“I’d appreciate that, actually. I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to doctors and shit so going to see someone that you are accustomed to seeing will help ease me a bit.”

“Word. I’ll text them here in a minute to let them know I'm sending you their way before I text Nick the office’s number.”

“Alright, thank you, Kit. I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t sweat it! If you ever need help, don’t be shy to tell Nick. Hell, he can even send you my number so we can chat one-on-one if you’re up to it. All your call though! Don’t want to push you out of your comfort zone or anything.”

“I’ll have Nick send me your number. I think it’d be easier texting you myself than talking to you through Nick.”

“Sounds good. Well, if that’s all I'm going to dip now. Text or call me if anything comes up! Nice talking to you, y/n! Oh, and Nick too I guess.”

Nick rolls his eyes, an unamused expression clear on his face as his thumb hovers over the end call button. “Goodbye Kit,” Nick states, his monotone voice drawing a small chuckle from the male on the other line.

“Goodbye Nick.” The moment Kit voices his reply, Nick ends the call and stuffs his phone back in the planet of his pants. After he huffs softly and gazes down at you, he watches as a small smile creeps onto your lips. Feeling his eyes on you, you pick your head up and lock eyes with Nick, a soft red hue immediately taking over the tips of your ears and cheeks.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask, a hand coming up to cover your flushed face.

“You look so happy it’s so cute,” Nick replies with a small chuckle. Before you get to add to the conversation, Nick cups your face with both his hands and begins peppering your face with small pecks. The action immediately draws soft laughter from your lips, your eyes shutting and the blush on your cheeks deepening a shade or two.

“Nick!” You exclaim through giggles. You set both your hands on Nick’s shoulders and begin to softly shove him away. After a few moments, the male finally pulls away and gives you the largest and cheesiest smile.

“I love you so much, you know that?” Nick gushes as he sets his forehead against yours.

“I love you more.” You reply softly, a shy chuckle escaping your lips. The moment Nick lands another tender kiss on your cheek, the sound of his phone dinging alerts the both of you.

“God, that’s kids fast as hell,” Nick mumbles. You pull back from Nick’s grasp to allow him to grab his phone out of his pocket again. After turning the device on and scanning his eyes over the screen for a few seconds, he flips the phone towards you. You blink a few times to get your eyes to adjust to the bright light drawing from Nick’s phone and when you’re finally able to see his screen properly, your eyes skim over the single message resting on the lock screen.

KIT

Just texted Remi. Here’s their number xxx-xxx-xxxx txt them when you want!

Your eyes light up at the text and you quickly lift your head to meet Nick’s gaze. “Text them!” You exclaim as you latch onto the boy’s shoulders. As you begin to shake him, Nick chuckles softly and rests his hands on your arms.

“Alright, alright. I won’t be able to text them if you keep shaking me.” Nick says through soft laughter. You immediately stop your actions and drop your hands onto your lap at the male’s statement.

“My bad.” As you rub your nape and gaze down at the floor, Nick smiles softly and sets a hand in your hair to ruffle it. The action draws a small surprised exclamation from you however you don’t lean away and rather you simply smile widely.

“You gotta stop apologizing kid” Nick scolds gently with a small shake of the head. You smile innocently at the boy and lean into his palm when he begins to card his fingers through your hair. “I'm gonna give Remi a text, alright?”

You eagerly nod your head and look up at Nick through your lashes, the large smile on your lips not faltering. As you quietly watch the male type away on his phone, you begin to feel the excitement build up inside you. If ‘T’ was just as good as Kit said it'd be, you could kiss all of your dysphoria away and finally live a worry-free life. You would finally be happy if everything worked out like you hoped it would.

You wouldn't have to spend hours upon hours on the bathroom floor spiraling and sobbing about your appearance and wouldn't have to feel the need to hide out in your and Nick’s place. You'd be content with your life and God knew you were in desperate need of some happiness in your life.

_______

TIME SKIP

It's been about three and a half months since you've been taking testosterone. It took about a week to see results but when you started to see some bodily changes, you were over the moon. The first change you took notice of was your skin texture. Your skin started to become very oily and thick and you had to make a few changes in your skincare routine to help fix it. Nothing too major.

The next change was your odor. Now, you were plenty aware of males carrying a natural and unpleasant scent but you weren't quite prepared to develop it yourself. When you noticed this, you made sure to change your cologne to a stronger smelling one in hopes of making your newfound ‘stench.’

The next change, which was the one you were looking forward to the most, was your voice. You slowly but surely started to develop a deeper voice as you continued to take your dosages. When this change started occurring, you felt as though you were going through puberty again. (Which was fine by you. If it took you going through puberty a hundred more times just to pass and get rid of your dysphoria, you were more than willing to do it.)

As your voice started to change, the number of voice cracks you developed was embarrassing, to say the least. When Nick took notice of this, the usual teasing he did seemed to increase significantly.

EXHIBIT A

You silently watched some supernatural series you stumbled upon on your TikTok feed as you lay down on the sofa at Nick’s place. The Sturniolo household was awfully quiet with both Matt and Chris being out with their friends. This ultimately left you and Nick to do whatever y'all want without being interrupted by the two males, You were so absorbed in the show that played rather loudly on your phone that you failed to notice Nick walk downstairs and enter the living room.

Noticing that you weren't aware of his presence yet, the male quietly made his way over to you. Upon arriving at the sofa where your frame lay comfortably, he peered over the back of the sofa to make sure he wasn't in your line of sight before loudly shouting and grabbing both of your arms. At the sudden exclamation, you scream loudly, your voice cracking in the progress, and you soon find yourself stumbling off the sofa and falling to the floor.

The moment your back collides with the floorboards with a soft thud, the sound of Nick’s loud laughter runs through your ears.

“You sound like a fucking elementary school boy!” Nick exclaims through hard laughter. As you boost yourself up into a sitting position, you roll your eyes. The moment you shift your gaze up, you watch Nick stumble around the sofa and walk up to you, soft giggles still escaping his lips. The moment he takes in the harsh glare you're sending him, he begins laughing hard again.

“Nick.. It's never that funny.” You grumble, your voice low as you try to bite back the smile threatening to creep onto your lips.

“It's so funny!” As you sigh heavily, Nick falls to the floor as more laughs rack his body.

“I can't with you.” You boost yourself up to your feet and leave the living room to go to the kitchen, leaving Nick laughing his heart out on the floor in the living room.

You were hoping that these voice cracks of yours would decrease the more that took testosterone but that was the least of your concerns at this point. The final change you took notice of (as of right now) was the muscle building up on your arms. Your once-thin limbs started to gain quite a few muscles as you continued to take the medication and you didn't have to do very much to keep it up.

You were quite happy with the sleeper build you had going on considering how you always wanted one but you wanted to attempt to build more muscle. When you began to work on your physique, Nick immediately took notice of it.

A cold shiver ran down your spine as you stood in front of Nick’s front door. The winter wind was harshly hitting your face and the only thing that covered your body and provided you with a little warmth was the hoodie loosely hugging your frame. You would let yourself in the house however you left the spare key Nick gave you in his room. As you shut your eyes and heavily exhale, the sound of the door unlocking rings through your ears. Upon the door opening with a soft creek, you open your eyes and you’re immediately greeted by Nick who has a large blanket tucked around him.

“What the hell are you doing in sweatpants and a hoodie?” Nick asks as he narrows his eyes at you.

“This is all I had in my closet. Everything else was in the washer or dryer.” You reply with a frown. Nick huffs softly and grabs your bicep to pull you inside, the warm air filling the house immediately drawing a content sigh from your lips. “God, it feels amazing in here.”

As you turn around to face Nick, a bewildered expression paints your features at the sight of the male intently staring at your arm, specifically the area he is currently grasping.

“You good? Do I have something on me?”

“No, no, you don't have anything on you.”

“Then what's wrong?”

Silence drifts between the two of you as Nick continues to wordlessly stare at your arm. Feeling rather uneasy with the silence, you open your mouth to say something however are interrupted by Nick saying, “Did you start working out?”

Your face immediately flushes as Nick finally shifts his gaze up to you. After locking eyes with the boy, you slowly nod your head and reply, “Yeah.”

“SINCE WHEN?? LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING ARMS!”

You hold back a chuckle when Nick begins to feel your bicep, his eyes wide in pure shock. “Since like last week. As much as I liked my sleeper build I had to work on my physique a little more.”

“Holy fuck y/n…” Nick mutters under his breath as he takes his other hand and begins to squeeze your other arm. As the male continues his actions, you can't help but notice the subtle shade of blush dusting over the tips of his ears and cheeks. Your eyebrows furrow slightly at the sight and a mischievous smile soon overtakes your lips as you continue to gaze at the boy.

“You know what else I've been working on?

“What?” When you gently grasp Nick’s wrist and remove it from your bicep, he silently watches as you rest his palm on your stomach. The moment you set his hand against your clothed torso, his face flushes a deep red color, followed by his eyes widening. You can't help but laugh at the sight of the hard blushing boy in front of you and you pull his hand away as you double over in laughter.

“You want me dead, don't you?” Nick mumbles, his free hand quickly coming up to cover his face.

“Maybe.” As you stand upright again, you send Nick a teasing smile before you grab the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss, the feeling of the male melting into the affection bringing a small smile to your lips.

Since you were only a few months into taking testosterone, you knew that you would experience more changes. Remi, the doctor that Kit suggested you see, filled you in on what those changes would be and when you would most likely experience each of them. They were very supportive on your entire journey of being on ‘T’ and didn’t hesitate to answer any questions that you have regarding it.

When you were beginning to run out of gel, (they suggested you take this type of testosterone considering your great fear of needles. You tried to take it through the injections but even with Nick’s help, it never went well.) you immediately notified them and they sent you another dosage.

Kit was also very supportive and encouraging during this whole process. He often texted you every week or so to ask how you were holding up and such. When you told him about the changes you were experiencing or if he caught onto them himself, he showed a lot of excitement for you.

The most encouraging person however was obviously Nick. He always reminded you to apply your gel if it slipped your mind and often suggested that he put it on you himself. Every time you notice a subtle change in your body, you don’t hesitate to call the boy and inform him of it. At times, you felt as though he was more excited by your accomplishments than you were.

Every time you came over and your voice had gone through a slight change or you were starting to gain a little more height, he would be smiling widely and devouring you in pecks all over your face. (This would often lead to a small make-out session in his room but no one’s gotta know that) He was always so happy for you and showed you nothing but love and support and you would be forever grateful for him.

You were plenty aware of the fact that your journey as a trans male was far from over however you knew that Nick would be by your side every step of the way.

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