#on my main i used to get them decently often. it fell off in ~2017
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while i'm on my dinner break, does anyone else remember those in-character ask blogs where someone would respond with art? usually jokey, always a good time? resulted in an influx of bad fanon interpretations of characters? sometimes would interact with one another? i kind of want to start one for curse of strahd or at least one of the characters, but to pull back the curtain a bit i don't have very many followers so i don't think i would get much interaction LOL. that and people don't send asks like they used to
#🌚#on my main i used to get them decently often. it fell off in ~2017#it would be fun but i wouldn't know which character to do anyway. i think ireena or exethanter or escher or rahadin..... or strahd of cours#tbd
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Hey Neighbor (Part 1)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 1907 Warnings: none
Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.
A/N: What started as an idea back in 2017 is finally here and I’m so excited!! I hope you love it as much as I do! A huge thank you to my wonderful beta Sam @buckyofthemyscira and to Allie @all1e23 who’s helped me keep my sanity while trying to write. Feedback is always appreciated!
HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST
For an August evening it’s surprisingly comfortable, devoid of that awful humidity that leaves you choking on the thickness in the air. Yet it’s still warm enough to quickly melt the ice in your glass; condensation pooling on the outside, leaving a ring of water on the small stack of papers your drink is settled on.
Golden toned clouds cover the sky as the sun begins to fade, each day decreasing its presence by a few minutes before giving way to the darkness that would envelope the evening. It wasn’t a dramatic change, nor was it something most people would pay attention to, though it was something you had been accustomed to taking note of.
You looked forward to seeing the sun, feeling its heat on your skin as you stepped out of the office after a long day of work. As other people on the street rushed towards the subway you stood off to the side, letting your spirit recharge with its warm glow.
These days you seldom had time for yourself, moments when you could enjoy the nothingness, where you could stop and breathe, and take in the world around you. The murmured voices of the passersby, the hissing sound of the bus as it opens its doors, the soft strum of a guitar, the endless car horns and the sound of traffic that keeps this city alive like a beating heart.
The heat of your laptop warmed your thighs as you thumbed through a textbook. You ignored your rumbling stomach that begged you for a real dinner but you were determined to finish up this last part of your paper before you gave in to its whining demands.
You were working towards your Master’s Degree in Social Work but it had taken a lot longer than you expected, and juggling a full time job while taking part time classes made it more difficult but you were determined to achieve your dream.
You thought it would be simple when you first moved to New York; go to college, get your degree and find a job. Well, life has a funny way of doing what it wants despite the plans you imagined. Halfway through getting your undergraduate degree your living arrangements changed. Initially you were sharing an apartment with a few other students but your landlord hadn’t told you he was months into foreclosure and suddenly you found yourself scrambling to find a place to live.
The first instinct you had was to ask your current roommates if you all wanted to find something else together but one of them planned on moving in with a friend temporarily since she was about to graduate and the other wanted to live alone. You scoured the internet for another room rental but nothing looked safe or legitimate, and searching through Facebook groups for student rentals was fruitless. Nothing was available considering it was the middle of the semester, so you quickly began an apartment search.
Your definition of expensive drastically changed since moving to New York. Even simple things like food and coffee had an up charge; a small, no– large price to pay for city living, and rent was no different. You thought what you were paying to live in a small room was a lot, but as you searched for apartments your heart dropped. Even the smallest studio cost thousands a month.
There was one that caught your eye, the price was decent but still more than what you were currently paying. You attempted to work out a plan, thinking you could use some money from what little savings you had to make up the difference for the first month or two and hope your part time job would increase your hours. Things would be tight but there was a chance you could make it happen.
Your hope was crushed the next day when you went to see the apartment, a five story walk up that reeked of musty water. The cracked plaster walls were very off putting as were the suspicious black spots along the baseboards. The bathroom was much smaller than the photos, with hardly any room to even turn around in. Still you debated making this work as long as the suspected mold was taken care of until you opened the kitchen cupboards and screamed. A dark mass of large cockroaches scattered away from the light cementing your decision that you could not live here.
That night you texted your friend from home, Wanda, telling her about the horrible apartment and crying on the phone as she called to comfort you.
Wanda had been your best friend since you met in middle school. You always hoped she would join you in New York but you understood her reasons for wanting to be close to home.
“Wan, I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” you cried.
The clock was ticking and you still hadn’t found a place to live. Every day you searched through all the listings on Zillow, Apartments.com and Craigslist, and every day your anxiety increased. It seemed like there was no way to be a full time student if you wanted to live in New York.
You called your parents to let them know what was going on and asked for advice. Through many tears you had come to a painful decision, you needed to get a full time job. They offered to help with rent while you finished up this semester which you appreciated, knowing they really couldn’t afford the extra expense either. Your idea was to go to school part time, taking whatever courses you could at night or on the weekends. You were still reaching for your goal, you would just be taking a slower path.
A new listing popped up for an apartment in Chelsea that was about three times your current rent. Walking into the building your stomach was bubbling with excitement. Everything was bright and clean and the moment you stepped into the apartment you were overcome with joy; this place felt like home.
A smile spread across your face as you looked around the studio. Walking in there was a small kitchen to the right, with a slim refrigerator, small stove and just enough prep space beside the sink. Checking the cabinets you were relieved to know it was free of any insect roommates.
The bathroom was behind it, looking newly renovated while still emulating a classic vintage style of black and white tiles. The main room felt large with the window on the back wall letting in a good amount of sunlight. The cream colored walls also brightened the space against the longest wall of exposed, worn brick. The floors were a beautiful dark walnut that made everything feel warm.
You always thought love at first sight was a myth but you were proven wrong, you fell in love with this apartment immediately. You signed a lease and gave a deposit and suddenly everything seemed like it would fall into place. There was still the daunting task of finding a full time job but you felt encouraged.
Two weeks later you moved into your new apartment, and while you should have been studying for a test you were more interested in unpacking and decorating, making everything perfect. With a few nails into the drywall you hung a curtain rod above your bed, stringing fairy lights behind delicate sheer drapery that defined a cozy sleep space.
Laying back against your pillow you imagined what your apartment would look like eventually when you had the money to fill it with furniture, but for now it was perfect.
You had been on a few interviews and nearly had a job or two before they realized you wouldn’t be able to start for another six weeks. It was disappointing but you didn’t give up and that’s when you found yourself interviewing for Stark Industries.
A confident smile held strong on your face when you told the interviewer Ms. Parker you would be able to start when your semester was over. This led you both into a discussion about college as she told you about her teenage nephew who was interested in the STEM field and had begun looking into college options. Ms. Parker liked you a lot, and the job was yours as soon as you were ready for it.
You became the administrative assistant to Maria Hill, Director of Research and Development who worked closely with the senior staff. You had seen the infamous Tony Stark only once, popping his head out of the conference room as Ms. Hill and CEO Pepper Potts continued to chat.
From your desk you admired the women you aspired to be as confident as some day. Social work was a tough field, one where you needed to balance composure and empathy with assertiveness.
While working at Stark Industries you managed to take two classes per semester, fitting them in on nights and weekends. You wished you would have been able to do more but even this was burning you out quickly. You had little time to socialize but knew this would be worth it in the end.
A few years passed and had life not derailed your plan you would have had your Master’s by now, instead you had one last class to finish before you needed to complete 1200 hours of an internship. You pushed that off until the end, knowing it would take you some time to find a place that would accept you. Even though you would be working for free most places wanted you there at times that conflicted with your paying job.
As the sun began its slow descent the noise of the city increased and you had to shut your window to block out the sounds. All but one.
The soft guitar had increased in volume playing a familiar tune you heard every night. It wasn’t a song you’d ever heard before but your neighbor had played it often enough it was in your head. Instead of writing about a social worker’s role as an advocate for protecting human rights your mind drifted along with the melody.
It was a nice song but not one you wanted to hear every night and yet, every night your neighbor played like they were performing a concert instead of being considerate to the fact that they have neighbors, some of whom are trying to write a damn paper!
You haven’t seen this neighbor yet but you heard him moving into the apartment about a month ago. The paper thin walls allowed you to hear everything, from the instruments he played to the various women. Oh yes, he played them too, using a different one each night. Unfortunately you were able to tell the difference between each one by the sounds of the shrieks and moans that were burned into your mind until you decided to wear headphones to sleep.
Any attempts to continue your paper are futile and so you pack up your laptop and books and head down to the cafe a few blocks away that stays open late. It’s unfortunate that on top of the expensive rent and the cost of school you had to leave the comfort of your apartment to spend more money while occupying space in the cafe just to do your homework; all because of that selfish “Music Man” that you couldn’t wait to give a piece of your mind to.
PART 2
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The story so far
One month after graduating high school in 2015 I was finally able to move away from my family. I was 18 and moved to California for college. Fortunately one of the scholarships I earned was accompanied by a summer program that started in the middle of the summer before fall semester. Shortly after settling in a safe, stable environment for the first time in my life I started to get better. A lot better at first. Then life happened, as it does, and 18 years of repressed trauma and abuse broke me. My nervous breakdown ruined my fall semester, I couldn't go to classes or take exams or function as a student anymore. Until this point, being an exceptional student was all I had and basically how I survived. My safe and stable environment now was dependant on maintaining a certain GPA, among other requirements I could no longer meet. I failed one of my main courses because I had a 0 on 2 exams, including the final. When I went home I was put on antipsychotics. Returning to campus for the 2016 spring semester, I attempted to seek more therapy. I wasn't successful in finding a good therapist (for me, therapy is a personal thing. Just because someone isn't a good therapist for me doesn't necessarily mean they are a bad therapist). I did continue to see my 2 psychiatrists (emergency and regular) often as they attempted to adjust my medication to find something that work. My agoraphobia worsened, I stopped sleeping, I could barely eat, I was manic one moment and dissociative the next, SH and suicidal ideation worsened. I was a burden to my friends and loved ones. I made it through this because I had a beautiful support system that I will forever be grateful for, but I ended up taking a leave of absence academically for my second semester, earning no credits and putting my scholarships at further jeopardy. I was allowed to stay on campus because it was clear I was dangerously unstable with no safe environment to return to and because I had incredible advocates looking out for me. I had realized that I wasn't going to get better in time to salvage my academic career and my life, and was mostly clueless as to how I would survive. I had had an internship in my field since I started college, but I earned basically no money. STEM internships aren't really made to be livable for undergrads, so I had mostly been working for experience in a field I would no longer be able to progress in. Bummer. My physical health had taken a huge dive for all of 2016. I basically always knew I was chronically ill, but I had been abused and gaslit my entire life to believe and act like I was fine, I was just a weak baby, I didn't know what real pain or suffering was, seizures were to be ignored, no I didn't have migraines or pinched nerves (um hello SCOLIOSIS), etc etc. And 2016 was the year my body finally started to break, so I knew "regular" jobs weren't going to be a viable option for me, at least not for long.
And thus I became a survival SW. I stayed in college for a final semester, because I didn't want to miss my friends, I loved my campus and didn't know where else to live, I still needed a lot of campus resources. I also kept my internship as long as I could, because I knew I would miss it for the rest of my life. I didn't really go to classes, again, because as much as a desperately wanted to and as much as my advisors moved heaven and earth to try to make it work for me, I couldn't handle it. I was finally able to find 2 great therapists who I started seeing regularly who actually knew how to diagnose and treat me, one at school and one outside. This is also when I met Daddy (Jace) online. After talking for what is probably a stupidly short time, we fell in love and started dating. This is honestly my first real relationship and time actually catching genuine feelings for someone, something that I hadn't thought I was capable of. Despite being happier than I had ever been in so many ways, my mental and physical health was still steadily declining. My migraines and pain were getting worse, I hadn't been able to eat normally in months and relied entirely on medication to eat or sleep at all. Many people recommended mmj at this point in my life, but I was afraid of how it would interact with my other meds. I only smoked occasionally at parties at this point (because no way was I spending my super duper limited money on weed). I wonder if medicating with something that actually worked well for me, like weed, would have allowed me to finish college. Oh well I guess. Because of my inability to attend classes, I had to take another leave for the fall semester 2016. I worked at a strip club briefly, but my health couldn't handle it for long.
I didn't want to go home for the first winter break in 2015, but campus closed and I had nowhere else to go. It was turbulent. When summer 2016 came, I still didn't go home despite having no place to stay. Until a month or so later, it was revealed to me a relative had terminal cancer. I had to go home again. It was worse than turbulent. When winter 2016 came, my relative was in much worse condition. They only had a few months left, and this was probably my last chance to say goodbye. This visit was by far the most traumatic, and more because of my parents than watching a loved one die. At least Jace was able to come meet me for the first time in person. He also got to meet my relative before they passed 🖤
Freshly fucked up by family, I retuned to California at the beginning of 2017. I was mostly taking a break from SW because of my health and was working vanilla jobs as I could (so not much). I had a pretty decent job that I was really good at and had been promoted, but then my relative passed. I started losing consciousness again ( I had many seizures and fainting spells in my childhood and during high school) and had to quit my job. the funeral was in spring 2017, I flew to Jersey to be with Daddy for a few days and then he drove me several states over for the memorial. That was the last time I saw my family. I wanted to transition to online/content creating, but I had no tech knowledge or equipment (even my phone was a potato). In high school I wasn't allowed to have a smartphone, most social media other than what was heavily monitored (and still had 0 experience with platforms sw is popular on besides Tumblr I guess), I didn't really know much about cameras. Way too sheltered and broken to feel like I could start anything. I was now seeing my outside, or I guess regular and only, therapist twice a week and doing treatments that while working for me were insanely (literally) hard. I had been able to get an apartment with roommates at a super discount in return for taking care of their crazy dog, which was a win win for me (he was a good boi just crazy from a bad past and had the worst separation anxiety). The agreement was that I would live with them until the lease was up in September, and then we would reevaluate the situation. Then they both got promoted at their mega corporation jobs. And after their wedding found a really gorgeous apartment in a much fancier part of the city, and paid to break our lease early in June leaving me homeless. I had been fired from my last 2 jobs (probably for being disabled because California is at will employment but who knows I might have been fired from the nanny job because the husband wanted to fuck me). I had no money or anywhere to go. All of my friends were almost as broke as me, so while I had offers to couchsurf at a few of their places they had other roommates who would have been pissed and in a few months they would be going back to school anyways. Daddy and I had been trying to save up to move in together for months, but he was going to move to California. We didn't have any money for that, so instead he asked me to move in with him in New Jersey. Leaving meant I lost my health insurance and my therapist. It was supposed to be much more temporary and we were supposed to move back to California much sooner than we were able to. I try not to be mad at those roommates because being angry doesn't change anything, but it really sucked.
Moving in with Daddy meant we could start our blog! And I was super happy at first, the happiest I could ever remember. But the years had been too hard and my health started to get worse than ever before. Without treatment and so traumatized, my brain and body were constantly at war. I would wake with splitting migraines, throwing up, my chronic pain became completely unmanageable. I started to need weed all the time because it was the only thing that stopped my cyclical vomiting episodes and kept me out of the hospital. My antipsychotics and other meds had been high-key fucking me up (probably shouldn't have been on them in the first place, thank you doctor who also ignored my seizures even when I had one in front of you) and were almost impossible to come off of because the withdrawals. (Seriously, kicking xanax was easier for me than my antipsychotics.) I'm not anti medication or anything, I just know the ones I was on were not good for me anymore. I'd actually like to be on something again, I just need a doctor who actually understands PTSD and DID.
My health continued to be shit for most of 2018, with several ER visits for severe dehydration from vomiting for days on end. We started to make videos and do snapchat and online sessions to be able to make ends meet. Despite being in the worst situation and thus everything being a trizillion times harder, we really loved (and still love 😇) doing SW and creating content. Our fans and clients have been there in some of our darkest moments, just being lovely or pulling through for us when we needed it most. During 2018 and 2019 I became actively suicidal for the first time since I was 13. I struggled with self harm again. I have gotten worse than I ever thought possible. But I wouldn't have made it at all if it wasn't for SW, this community and our supporters.
At the beginning of 2020 we were finally able to move back to California. Obviously, the pandemic severely disrupted many of our plans, especially regarding my recovery. Despite things being delayed or shifted, we are in a much better place currently. I have what I need to get better and I can build a support system again. I will get better.
Talking about things is hard for me. Being open and honest is hard for me. For 18 years I was trained and abused to not be sad or show negative feelings, or talk about upsetting things, and it has been killing me slowly my entire life. I genuinely don't want pity or to make others feel bad, but I do want to give you the chance to get to know me. I don't always talk about things so much. But I'm trying to get better at it.
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About to get hella emotional on main
November 19th will be this blog’s second birthday. I’ve been thinking about this post since September, and how I didn’t post anything for it last year.
I’ve been doing this writeblr thing for almost two years. It’s been so awesome to be a part of this community (the somber wording of this makes it sound like I’m leaving but I’m not), even if I know I don’t actually talk with other people very often. I go back and forth about feeling guilty about that, but the point stands that it’s so cool to see so many people so excited about their work. It’s amazing, and I really don’t have the words to describe how much I love to see it even if I don’t know a lot about peoples’ projects.
I’m going to have a normal anniversary post on the day, but that’s not what this is. This is gonna be sad and this is pretty much the equivalent of rebreaking a bone to make sure it sets right. Be forewarned about mentions of suicide, depression, and a story involving animal death that got a lot more detailed than I thought it was going to when I started this post.
I want to talk about why I made this blog.
Full disclosure, November is the absolute worst time of the year for me. It’s the time when seasonal depression starts to hit. It’s the part of term that always kicks my feet out from under me. There are a lot of memories stitched into this month that I haven’t been able to untangle. Really, it’s only two memories and a lot of uncomfortable Thanksgivings, but still.
It was just a month to me until 2014 when I ended up hospitalized after I overdosed on my antidepressants. I’m not gonna go into detail about any of that or the fallout from it, other than my life changed a lot for the better after. New school, new people, shiny new paint over everything.
But that whole thing was massively related to my daydreams. I cared more about them than I did reality, I was in physical pain when I was reminded that the world I’d spun up in my head and the people I loved so much who lived there would always be out of physical reach for me. I hadn’t had the Collective for very long outside of the histories I’d constructed for them. I’d known them forever in my head but I’d only had them for around a year. But they weren’t real and no matter how much I loved them or they loved me the family I spent most of my time with couldn’t really be there for me.
The point is, my daydreaming was wildly unhealthy then. I was obsessive and had at some point convinced myself in no uncertain terms that no one could know about the world in my head as anything other than what it looked like. It was just a story, right? Stories can’t hurt you, can’t give you trauma, can’t bake lasting and damaging fears in you even if they’re about you, right?
They can’t make you afraid of being underground, of the smallest echo in the dark of a cave. They can’t make you flinch when someone touches you out of some bullshit fear response you never physically learned. They can’t make distant sounds of movement in a house ratchet your fight or flight up. They can’t lace a fear of being watched so deep into your core that your constant irrational fear is a hidden camera in a space that’s supposed to be yours, that everything’s a test and all you have to do is mess up once and—
Yeah.
So I started writing them down. It gave me a way to bleed shit out, I guess. Instead of just wrangling it down into a box in my head, I sifted through what I had. I tried to start at the beginning, but everything was too fragmented then.
Eventually, I started the daydream that would turn into Breaking Furnace and I found a good way to categorize things. I started writing it, I got really far before I made this blog. I had been putting off finishing the dream itself because there was some shit toward the end that I knew was gonna suck, but the November 2017 happened.
I’d just moved to Portland, I was up here with my new roommate, keeping up decently in school, I had a new friend in my roommate and frankly the best ESA to ever exist and things were good. Things were okay, I was a little wary about November like I had been the two years before that, but generally fine.
Just one thing.
Before I moved up here, I had my cat, Dipper, checked out my the vet. I just wanted to make sure he was good, pick up a nice flea collar, reassure myself he was fine. Most things were fine, but we found out he had a heart murmur. I was told it increased his chances of throwing a clot that would kill him, but that he might just live his life. I’d know if it happened if his back legs stopped working. I felt the way he breathed so heavy a lot differently after that, but I made jokes because I had to. I got him a little ‘I have a heart condition’ tag for his collar.
So, November 8th. It was some time in the morning, 10 probably. I was watching Grey’s Anatomy. Dipper knocked an empty water bottle off the stand his food was on and I remember so clearly laughing when I turned to look. Asking what he was getting up to in the way you only can with the dumb animals we love so much.
And I remember my entire body going numb when he fell off the stand himself because he couldn’t walk properly anymore. I panicked and called my mom but she obviously couldn’t help and I was left to deal with it by myself so I couldn’t afford to be panicked. I needed to not feel it, so I just.
That numb was what stayed with me, and I don’t know if it’s actually gone away.
I was numb while I held him and l looked up a vet. Called one, explained in a voice that I didn’t recognize, got transferred to another, explained again. I was numb when I messaged the group chat my new friends had set up asking for a ride or for someone to go with me. I didn’t have money to order a Lyft, I was still waiting for the money I was transferring from my savings to my checkings so I could buy a new bag of cat food.
I was numb when the Lyft driver my friend called for us asked what was wrong with my cat and all I could say was that he was dying. When we got there and I explained at the front desk and had to watch them take him back. When they asked about sedatives and anesthesia and I didn’t care how much those cost because I couldn’t let him hurt. They were so gentle when they asked if I would want extreme measures taken to save him, but I’d known I was going to lose him before I’d called them so I was numb when I signed the DNR form too.
When I met with the vet, all I needed her to tell me was what was happening, to confirm the odds. She asked me what I wanted to do, but what I wanted had nothing to do with it and everyone in the room knew that. Even though I knew already, I asked what would be kinder and signed another form.
I got to hold him, got to make sure he knew that I was there. That I didn’t just leave him. He didn’t look any different afterward and I didn’t have room to feel anything but that vast emptiness.
They waved the fees for the visit, but I couldn’t afford to get a personal cremation. I could get fur clippings and pawprints for free but I felt like I was losing him twice in one day when I signed that order form. They asked if I wanted to see his body again once I’d left, but I couldn’t. I just wanted to get out. I regret it, I hate myself for it sometimes.
I almost didn’t go to the support group I found out about the next day. I met someone there who was so fucking pissed on my behalf. I genuinely can’t remember if it was $80 or $180 to get the personal cremation, to be able to get something of him back, but this fucking saint of a woman walked with me down to the reception area and asked if there was still time and paid it for me. I will never be able to repay her for that.
But the thing is, I never got to grieve.
I went home without him, I got mad. I walked into my dorn and automatically turned to look at my bed because he’d normally jump down from the shelf when I walked in. I cried, more than I ever had before.
I emailed my professors, didn’t go to class that day or the next. I looked at myself and I stared at that stand his food was still on and I just. Didn’t have time to fall apart. I didn’t have time to lose it. I went to a stupid fucking volunteer training thing at a hospital I ended up not even getting a position at instead of letting myself breathe for five seconds.
And no one really let me talk about it, I only had access to the limited counseling services my school provides, so I never actually got the chance to work through anything.
So, after that terrible story that made me cry for the first time in months to write, back to Breaking Furnace.
Instead of letting myself think about it at all, I threw myself into my daydreams and finished the Furnace daydream in about three days. I obsessed. I wrapped myself in my writing because if I’m thinking about my stories I don’t have to think about real shit that actually hurts.
I didn’t want to just write for me anymore. I needed a distraction. I needed something to make me not be who I was, I needed a community that didn’t know anything about the terrible hurt that I was trying to paint over.
So I made a writeblr.
I did that, and I started posting my writing. I felt welcomed and I felt cared about. I felt the community I never actually expected to be able to be a part of. I expected to lose interest after a few weeks but I didn’t and I felt comfortable in something that had nothing to do with what was killing me.
I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that I don’t know if I would have survived if it weren’t for writeblr. I don’t have any planned landing point for this, just that. I’m just, so thankful and so glad that I made the decision to break into this.
#animal death#suicide mention#i might add more tags later or i wont#im glad i wrote this but im really emotionally exhausted now and i need to get up for work in the morning
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The Brock Lesnar Problem
The Conqueror. The Beast Incarnate. The Mayor of Suplex City. The Next Big Thing. The One in 21-1. Brock Lesnar has been called many things in his illustrious career. You’d think, with all of his accomplishments and nicknames, you’d think Brock’s got a pretty good thing going for him. And while that is true, it doesn’t change the fact that Brock is pretty much the worst thing in WWE right now. And in this post, we’re going to be taking in an depth look into The Brock Lesnar Problem. Before I can go into that however, I feel like I need to point a few things out. First of all of course that this is my opinion, so if Brock is your favorite wrestler and can’t handle me criticizing him, then this probably isn’t for you. That being said, what even is the Brock Lesnar Problem? It’s the fact that despite 12 years in total in this business his wrestling ability if anything has diminished, he’s World Champion and hardly defends it, much less show up for work. And he’s paid way too much money for not doing his job. That being said, now we can dive in.
March 28, 2002. A triple threat match between Al Snow, Maven, and Spike Dudley took place on Raw, for no real reason besides being a filler. At least, that’s what everyone thought. Halfway through the match, Brock Lesnar made his debut, brutalizing all three men in a way we’d soon learn only Brock Lesnar can. Accompanied by Paul Heyman, Brock practically came out of nowhere, having spent two years in WWE’s developmental territory OVW, but actually previously known as a NCAA Division 1 Wrestling Champion. (“Real” wrestling). Brock would go on to be one of the fastest rising stars in WWE, winning the 2002 King of the Ring and beating The Rock to become WWE Champion within five months of his debut. He would win the title two more times after that, beating the likes of Kurt Angle for his second and third titles. Now this Brock Lesnar was entertaining. His wrestling style was unique, his finisher was devastating, he had a ton of great matches, the company was behind him; so what happened? Well, in my opinion, it all started at Wrestlemania XIX, and that Shooting Star Press.
If you’re a wrestling fan, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re not, then I’m impressed you’ve read this far. Basically what happened was during Kurt Angle and Brock’s match at Wrestlemania, Brock attempted to perform his old OVW finisher, a shooting star press. Now I’m including a picture of Brock with this piece, and I want you to tell me why that was an awful idea. Brock fell about six inches short, landed right on his face, and concussed himself. Brock finished the match, because it’s Brock and he doesn’t feel pain like people do, and won. However, this was the first time Brock was severely injured, and I think that’s when he realized he didn’t like that very much. We never saw him attempt the move ever again, and we saw him protect himself a lot more from then on. However, Brock couldn’t stop being rough and tough on his co workers, that would defeat the purpose of his whole character, but his refusal to take as much as he gave was the beginning of Brock’s… condition. Brock’s who is now getting larger, and his boredom with wrestling suffers because of it.
After losing his third WWE Championship to Eddie Guerrero thanks to help from Goldberg, Brock began feuding with the WCW legend. Note that now Brock had become bored with WWE, he’s already won the world title, King of the Ring,main evented Wrestlemania, and won the Royal Rumble (the four biggest accomplishments in WWE at the time, three of them still being so), and anything else seemed lesser to him. So a match between Goldberg and Brock was set for Wrestlemania XX. It had all the makings of a history maker, two of the most dominant performers in wrestling history squaring off, with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin. But then it was released Goldberg was retiring. And then it was leaked that Brock was leaving as well. For eleven years, that match was possible the most hated Wrestlemania match in history, fans booing both men for “selling out”. They both left, and Brock moved on to things like the NFL, where he never got to play. Then he returned to wrestling, and became one of the few Americans to win the IGWP Heavyweight Championship at New-Japan Pro Wrestling. He also squared off with his old rival Kurt Angle, who defeated him for said title. Brock Lesnar once again retired from wrestling, and made his way to UFC and won the heavyweight title there.
Fast forward to 2012. John Cena lost to The Rock at Wrestlemania XXVIII. And Brock Lesnar returns, dropping the leader of the Cenation and making a resounding return to WWE. Vince asked Brock to come back, Brock now somehow becoming a bigger draw than he was before, and being more dominant than ever. Something was different now though. He didn’t show up as often. Brock’s moveset, while limited, was entertaining, and he didn’t wrestle enough for people to notice. He had some decent matches with Triple H, John Cena, and CM Punk, but all we really wanted was to watch him beat people up the way only he could. Now the problem has increased. Brock is getting paid more for less work, and he knows it. He’s a big name, and he knows he gets paid no matter what. Slowly, Brock starts getting lazier. And this climaxes at Wrestlemania XXX, when Brock beats The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at The Showcase of the Immortals. Brock now realizes that he is one of the most high profile names in wrestling. And he abuses the absolute shit out of it. Several months later at Summerslam, Brock beats John Cena in one of the most one sided main events in WWE history, delivering a cringe inducing sixteen german suplexes to John, who got practically no offense in. I’ll admit when this happened, I was hyped, and so were a lot of other people. Brock was champion, which meant we’d get to see Brock kick ass all the time. At least, that’s what we thought. But then Brock didn’t show up four five fucking months! If you’re champion, then you need to defend said championship, not disappear with it for months at a time.
But we were saved at Wrestlemania 31, when Seth Rollins cashed in his Money in the Bank contract to beat Brock and Roman Reigns for the title. Brock disappeared for awhile after that, and we soon forgot about his poor excuse of a title reign. Brock began feuding with The Undertaker in a really fun rivalry, he entered the Royal Rumble but lost, it was really fun to watch. It’s Wrestlemania time again, and we know Brock has got a spot on the card. And it’s in a street fight, with Dean Ambrose. Everyone was so excited for this match, Dean was getting these weapons from WWE legends, Brock was beating Dean up as much as he could but Dean kept getting back up, this match had all the potential to be Match of the Year. But then it fully set in: Brock’s laziness. The match was a bore to watch, hardly any weapons were used and it was disappointingly short, much to the dismay of fans. Brock stuck to two moves, the F-5 and the german suplex. To this day it’s the only two moves he knows. On the Stone Cold podcast, Dean declared that the reason the match failed was because Brock, and I quote: “had no desire to entertain, I had all these great ideas and I was met with laziness.” The interview spread like wildfire, and more wrestlers voiced their displeasure with Brock and how unfairly they were treated compared to him. Brock disappeared again however, and soon we forgot about the whole thing. Note that in my opinion, this next stretch in Brock’s career nothing really eventful happens, he beats Mark Hunt in a one off UFC match but it gets overturned because he failed a drug test, faced Randy Orton at Summerslam and damn near killed the man after splitting his head open.
We are now at Survivor Series 2016, and it’s the rematch of the century. Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar. Goldberg hadn’t wrestled in twelve years, the last time he did was when he beat Brock, did he still have it? The answer we soon learned, was no. These men had three encounters from 2016 to 2017, and each match was slightly more disappointing and sub par than the last. First Goldberg beats Brock in a minute and twenty-six seconds, which is forgivable because holy crap someone squashed Brock and also the first time he’s been pinned in three years. Then Goldberg eliminates Brock from the 2017 Royal Rumble in a couple of seconds, for no real reason. Then it climaxes at Wrestlemania, this time for the WWE Universal Championship. I think it’s safe to say that nobody was really looking forward to this match. Goldberg made it clear he only remembered his two finishers, and Brock’s laziness and WWE’s refusal to have him show up was well known. The match was several minutes of the old men tossing each other aropund and hitting their finishers, with Brock winning the title.
And we now have the Brock Lesnar problem at its worst. Brock hardly shows up to defend the title, and when he does, we’re promised absolute dream matches. Brock vs Braun Strowman, Brock vs Samoa Joe, and every time it’s the same thing. Paul Heyman hypes up Brock for three weeks, Brock finally shows up to brawl with his opponent, and the match is just a couple minutes of Brock hitting suplexes and his finisher, and then disappearing again. It’s been over a year now, and this hasn’t changed. Brock demands so much for just an appearance, and everytime WWE seems to stop tolerating his shitty behavior and unreasonable demands in his contract, he threatens to leave the company. Vince doesn’t want to lose his big draw, so he renews Brock’s contract. But what is the point of having a big draw if he only shows up a couple times a year, and wrestles even less? Just last Monday, Seth Rollins defended the Intercontinental Championship more times in a month than Brock has even wrestled the past year.
So how do we fix the issue? I personally see two options. The first one is have Brock lose the title and just have him wrestle in some high profile matches throughout the year. This keeps Brock’s pay high and lets Vince keep his ‘big draw.’ However, it doesn’t change the fact that Brock A, can’t wrestle for crap, and B, is just downright lazy. Not to mention his ego is going to tell him that if he’s not champion, he’s wasting his time. So in my opinion, the better option is to cut the company’s losses, and let Brock go. He has absolutely zero passion for the company or the fans, he’s lazy and mediocre in the ring (and that’s being generous in my opinion.), and he just doesn’t bring anything really special to the company besides a few extra dollars, but how much are they really making when Brock asks so much for an appearance? I mean if you kept pushing guys like Seth, or Finn Balor, or even Braun Strowman, they will bring just as much, if not more than Lesnar. Because this will only get worse the longer it goes, and if this doesn’t change, the demands will get crazier and we’ll be lucky to see Brock or the Universal Championship ever again. And that my friends is the Brock Lesnar problem.
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HoOz- December 5th,2017
“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had”- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Kimberly Hydar. 21. SUNY Oswego Senior.
HoOz- What was the saddest day of your life?
Kimberly- Well, I wouldn’t say it was the saddest day of my life but it was definitely the most destructive, my Grandmother passed away, she was like a second mom to me. A lot of children of immigrant parents aren’t always around because they’re working all of the time so when my Grandma immigrated here from Guyana she took care of me for my entire life. That was a pretty rough day for me because it was like a parent died, I imagine that it would feel the same.
HoOz- So did you live with your Grandmother?
Kimberly- So, when I turned one my Grandmother moved to the United States, at the same time we were making a big move from our apartment our home. So, she lived with us, she would go back to Guyana for the winter months so the separation between she and I didn’t feel that bad when I was a child. I really just wasn’t negatively affected because she was just old and didn’t want to be in the United States for the winter months. That was only like two months at a time when it was really cold in Yonkers so not seeing her for two out of twelve months wasn’t that bad. She lived with us, took care of me and was there for me.
HoOz- What do you feel is the most important lesson your Grandmother taught you?
Kimberly-I guess to have faith and keep going, she was a very spiritual person, she was Hindu. Often during hard times, I think about her praying, I don’t know why but I just think of her. She was the kind of Grandma that every time she would see you after a while she would pray over you, asking God to give you many blessings and strength so I try to stay positive in my future in the way she stayed positive in my own future. I try to remember all the wishes she had for me and have them for myself.
HoOz- What is one thing you would say to your Grandmother if you could speak to her now?
Kimberly- I would probably thank her and just hug her and let her know that I miss her and her presence.
HoOz- Do you think having this strong connection and having someone in your life who has such a large impact on you is important and something everyone should have?
Kimberly- I do think it is extremely important, I’m a Psych major so I know a lot of the things we do revolves around what happens to people when they were young and growing up and who was there. It defiantly matters who was there and who wasn’t, Children don’t remember what you purchase them but they remember who was there when they cried and fell and who showed up to their games. Everyone needs someone who’s there for them, that they can run to and talk to and everyone need that unconditional love.
HoOz- With the things that you have learned in life, what is your main goal?
Kimberly- With the knowledge I have the best way to use it is, if I have children, to invest that knowledge in them. To know that me being there for them, to listen to them and care for them is so much more important than to buy them things off a list. Being there whenever they need me is much more important than anything else, even beyond that, with my nieces and nephews, being able to care for people is really important to me.
HoOz- Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Kimberly- In ten years I see myself pursuing my Doctorate in Forensic Psychology, maybe married, maybe not, I’m not really counting on that as something that needs to happen. Hopefully I’m house hunting and have a pretty decent career with my masters.”
HoOz- What is your greatest strength?
Kimberly- My greatest strength is my resilience, if something bad happens, I’ll take a minute to recover and then get back up and keep moving. I’ll take my time to get myself together and then keep going and keep moving to where I want to be in ten years.
HoOz- If you could say anything to your future self what would it be?
Kimberly- B**** you did it!
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EOYR 2017: K-Dramas Part 1
I couldn’t do all the dramas I wanted to talk about (in depth) in one post. So here is the first one.
For this list, these dramas are decent. They are not the cream of the crop, and they all have issues. But for some reason (hint: it’s usually chemistry), at the end of the year looking back, I still love them.
So here, in no particular order. I decided to make a different format than my song stuff, because of course I should. So I borrowing a little bit from Dramabeans, and a little bit from Josei next Door (both of whom (or whoms? since Dramabeans is a bunch of people) do great work).
Strong Woman Do Bong Soon:
In A Sentence: Do Bong Soon is super strong, thus shenanigans ensue (and maybe some romance).
Steer Clear If: You cannot suspend disbelief (cause oh boy) or if you expect this to be your new feminist drama. It is not.
Comments:
There are some extraordinary parts of this drama. Namely Park Hyunsik throughout, though the lead Park Bo Young does some good work too. The romance is squee worthy in a lot of places. And it hits the notes you want from superhero dramas. It is really fun to have a beta male who is so in love with the lead, and doesn’t fear her strength quite as much as get turned on by it. Again, Park Hyunsik kills it, his face in this whole drama is both meme worthy as well as an epiphany for his acting skills. Some of the humor is also really good (the sandbags always get me, as well as the high school gang), and if you like low brow humor, there is quite a bit of that as well. Also, the soundtrack has the superpower girl sound, which is great, is one of the few songs that I remember from a drama well enough to sing it in my head without any prompting.
Then, there is the rest of this show. Boy is it a train wreck. There is a serial killer plot line that could be really good in a different super hero show (maybe Blade Man?), but is absolutely jarring. Jisoo plays a second lead that is never more than half-dimensional character. There is a caricature of a gay man played only for humor. There is some very possibly manipulative behavior from the lead guy to the girl. There is mentioned abuse between the mother and father, which is also played for comedy. There is a whole lot of stuff that makes me very unhappy with this show.
But then I remember how much I was crying while Ahn Min Hyuk refused to leave Do Bong Soon on the roof to die. Or how much it hurt every time Ahn Min Hyuk’s family was mean to him. Or how much I loved how confident Do Bong Soon was, and how much she fell from that, every once in a while.
And it reminds me that for all its faults, this show still managed to make me care. And that this year was quite a feat.
Age of Youth 2:
In A Sentence: The girls are back (for the most part), with more of the hi jinks of college, and life just after.
Steer Clear If: You like dramas that don’t disappoint you at the last possible second. Or you haven’t seen the first season (do it, it’s better).
Comments:
I love a lot about this series as a whole, and this season kept a lot of that up. Even if I had to fight with everyone else for subs. Han Yeri’s plot line still makes me very happy, even as she navigates another incredibly hard job this season. It makes me wonder why she isn’t in more dramas every year with how well she does. Han Seung Yeon’s character got her happy ending and it felt deserved. Kim Min Seok was the treasure we all know and love from Descendants of the Sun, this time cuter and more honest. Lee You Jin was also an epiphany this season, doing better in the role of awkward and uncomfortable in your own body than I think Onew would have. Choi A Ra’s character was one of the more background characters for me in remembering the show, but stands out for how she related to Kim Min Seok.
You may have noticed some names missing. The first, the first year couple from the first season, suffered from a recast and a re-characterization that also made no sense to me. No wonder he broke up with her as she went straight down the line to crazy town (she was literally being a stalker/overly attached ex through half the season).
Then comes my biggest gripe. There is AMAZING chemistry for the whole season (and a lot of last season) between Im Sung Min (Son Seung Won) and Song Ji Won (Park Eun Bin). We have all been waiting for them to get together for 2 WHOLE SEASONS!!!!! And what did the show do? Dangle the relationship in front of us, and leave us with NOTHING at the end. NOTHING!!!!!!!!
In the end, there is a lot to love about this show. I think this season especially gave us incredibly relatable women, and quite a few swoon worthy men as well. It enforced the community around the first season and helped it grow (my favorite part of the community is the subber who does the English subs on the JTBC Drama YouTube channel, they are amazing). And it showed us that everyone has similar problems to us, and deals with them just as poorly as we do.
While You Were Sleeping:
In A Sentence: A girl can’t stop the future deaths she sees in her sleep, but maybe with some help she can.
Steer Clear If: You expect things to always makes sense (cause they don’t) or you expect a procedural to keep you interested in the week to week plot (it really isn’t all that great)
Comments:
While You Were Sleeping is two different shows smashed into one. One of the shows, the rom com starring Suzy and Lee Jong Suk, works always and forever because their chemistry is adorable. The other show, a crime procedural about a girl who can the the future deaths of others? I really really really want it to work, and it is a bummer that it doesn’t really work all that well at all.
The plot is convoluted as all get out. And more importantly, it’s sort of boring in a lot of parts. Or maybe it just isn’t for me. Maybe I just don’t care about the inner workings of law in Korea.
But, if you leave the plot out, and instead look at the directing and the characters, it is a good drama. There is a whole lot of great emotional punches, most if not all of which hit. There is a great plot about brotherly love. There is a great plot about a guy and a girl just being friends, and the guy for the most part doesn’t get bent out of shape about the fact that she doesn’t have feelings for him. And most of the show, he really doesn’t have feelings either.
And there is Suzy and Lee Jong Suk’s characters, whose personalities are both half confidence, half embarrassing misunderstandings. It makes for prime rom-com territory. I especially like all the times they put their respective feet in their mouths. It had me laughing every time.
And the emotional hits do well too, with tears when it was appropriately sad, and laughter when it was funny. What more can you ask for from your entertainment.
Suspicious Partner:
In A Sentence: A lawyer in training becomes a murder suspect, but it’s a rom com.
Steer Clear If: You get annoyed when plot becomes more important than characters.
Comments:
I rewatched most of this show in preparation to write this. And at first, I could not realize why I remember only liking this show. It was so good. It hits all my favorite rom com notes: witty banter, respect between the two leads (both of opinions and often emotions), characters that call each other out (or even themselves in the case of the lead women stalking the lead guy), and everyone else shipping them too.
But then the 3rd act happens. And there is a whole lot of crap. There is noble idiocy. There is characters holding things back from each other. There is Ji Chang Wook being a badass (the only highlight of this section). There are characters suddenly acting differently for no other reason than it makes the plot work. It goes off the rollers.
But the first 30 or so episodes? They are pretty amazing. There is a friendship between a guy and a girl! And there is never a crush or love line between them! And they use that closeness to make the main guy jealous! Hell, he gives her chocolate for that purpose, or maybe just because he is legitimately nice.
Also, the funniest thing I have seen in a drama this year happened in this drama. There is a scene (mild but obvious spoiler) where the main couple reveals themselves to the moms. And the best friend and office guy (he has more personality than that I promise) pretend to be shocked. And I watched it over and over again, giggling every single time.
School 2017:
In A Sentence: It is hard to succeed in a high school ruled by money and grades, but damn it Ra Eun Ho is going to try!!!
Steer Clear If: You aren’t a fan of the school series, or high school dramas in general, because this uses all of the tropes, good and bad.
Comments:
School 2017 is a return to form of the School franchise after the train wreck of 2015 (I didn’t watch 2015 because I waited long enough for it to have bad reviews and thus stop me from watching). And boy does it do the return well. It has the romance you want from a school drama, adorable and cute in every way, as well as the bromance we all loved from School 2013. It has the wonderful discovery of Kim Sejeong in a role that she absolutely destroyed at, and most of the rest of the young cast also doing super well (I liked Kim Jung Hyun a lot and Min Sung Wook was rudely underutilized).
My one and only problem with School 2017 is that it wanted to do just a few too many plots. It meant that they couldn’t go very deep into any of them. I loved most of the plot, but I can’t fully get behind a series that never gets the full depth of everything. I especially didn’t like that the best friend got super shafted in her plot line, especially since she had some cute buildup in the beginning where they could have made some astute commentary about fan culture, and then they threw that away because they didn’t have time for it with the main storyline getting so complex and large. It was a waste of what could have been a cute part of the show.
But, School 2017 is still a good show, with endearing characters. It reminded me of Sassy Go Go in the best way possible. It made me remember high school fondly, which is hard to do, and exactly what I want from this franchise.
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2019 in Mountains
I’m hopping on the bandwagon and reflecting on a year in review. I don’t make time to write trip reports much these days (I fell off the bandwagon on our van trip, when we were constantly doing cool trips and I just couldn’t keep up [poor me]), so seeing my friend Nikhil write a post summing up his outdoor exploits for the year seemed like a great idea.
Skiing
Since learning to ski in the 2016-17 season, each year has gotten more fun. Typically in winter I focus on the Ogul peak list (a list of peaks in Tahoe, so pretty accessible since most of the roads are plowed; I’m at 35/63 currently), but I’ve learned that seeking summits often doesn’t make for the best skiing. One thing I love about lists though is that it takes me to new places I’d never go otherwise. Some highlights:
Mount Elwell: I wrote a full trip report on this here. This was one of my favorite new areas I got to see. It’s about an hour north of Tahoe, so sees far less visitors, which is always a treat. We saw no one else our whole day in the backcountry, and the views from the summit were spectacular. Plus, we learned about the Plumas Ski Club’s longboard races and checked em out! So much fun. Track
Mount Mildred: Also wrote a trip report on this one here. This peak is behind Alpine Meadows ski resort (where I had a pass this year). It was a pretty long day in terms of mileage for me on skis, so I love seeing the progress I’m making in that regard. Track.
Pyramid/Jacks Desolation Traverse: In late April, given that the big snow year still left good coverage, I did a traverse from Pyramid Peak to Jacks Peak in Desolation Wilderness with friends AJ, Jamie, and Chris. AJ wrote about it here. This was also a long and challenging day for me, being the weakest downhill skier in the group. I didn’t ski the tippy-top of Pyramid (too spooky), but I did manage to ski a bit further down. This day really showed me how great spring skiing can be (and it lends better to summits). Track.
Mount St Helens: Since my older sister Dafna had skied Mount St Helens in the past, I’d had it on my radar and been excited to ski it once I was ready, and this was the year. The skiing is really moderate, the crater is beyond cool, and we made it a family affair! My sisters Ephrat (at 3 months pregnant!) and Dafna joined, along with their partners, Luca and Gil (a first real summit for him! Hiking up on snowshoes, snowboarding down). Mount St Helens is an awesome summit for the hiker/mountaineer learning to ski. I’d happily repeat it someday. Track.
Resort skiing: In 2019 I had the Ikon Pass, which meant mainly skiing Squaw/Alpine. It was my first time skiing at either, and it was a lot of fun, but the traffic was a total nightmare. I had many days where I struggled, sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic not moving at all, feeling so trapped and frustrated that we live so far from the mountains. This year I’m back on Epic, and I’m hoping it will be less miserable. Leo and I also took advantage of some of the other resorts on the pass, making trips to Revelstoke, Lake Louise, Banff Sunshine (all in Canada), Alta, and Snowbird.
Rogers Pass: My first (and only) day backcountry skiing in Canada, at such an amazing location. I survived the cold! Track.
I was sick for a good month in winter, which really put my year off to a rocky start and felt like it brought down my fitness a lot. I thought I was getting better and pushed myself really hard for a few days in the backcountry (climbing Anderson Peak with my friend Brice, track), but then I found myself sick again for another two weeks (making me nervous I might not be healthy enough for our Canada trip). I relearned the importance of rest and taking care of yourself.
Ice Climbing
New skill for 2019! Well, technically it started in December 2018 with a trip to the Bozeman Ice Fest, which was an amazing way to learn the basics of the sport. Leo and I both liked it so much that we did three more days of it in Canmore, even hiring a guide to take us up Louise Falls (a 3 pitch climb). Originally I thought I should just know the utmost basics of the sport, but now I find I actually enjoy it and would love to do more of it. I think I could potentially even… lead someday? Which is something I feel pretty defeated about doing in rock climbing. It’s interesting to think about why this doesn’t scare me when rock climbing does. I think it is because in rock climbing I get nervous moving for holds I can barely reach, as opposed to in ice climbing, you can make a hold almost anywhere you like. Leading is still a long ways off for me, of course, but it’s cool to think this might be possible in the future.
Mountaineering/Alpine Climbing
Mount Rainier: After learning the aforementioned basics of ice climbing, we put them to the test on Rainier. Leo and I had attempted Rainier in 2017 with our friend Ryan, but turned back at 13k ft due to bad conditions. This time, Leo, Nikhil, and I climbed the Kautz Glacier route in mid-June. We did a one night trip, camping at 12k feet, right below the Kautz ice section, carrying our gear over the following day and descending the DC. A lot of thoughts on this trip: The most challenging thing for me probably were the stats combined with carrying a very heavy pack. Heavy packs are definitely my biggest weakness and something I’d like to train this year. Our group members and I still all have a lot to learn in terms of glacier navigation and travel. Rainier is a big mountain, and definitely a step above most California summits. I definitely wouldn’t be comfortable climbing it in adverse conditions (California fair-weather climber here!), and it shows the edges of where I can develop more skills to increase my safety margin. The mountain also really showed me why it is such a great training ground for future expeditions. It was a tough trip, but I’d like to back again for more routes. (Plus, we didn’t make it to the high point of the crater! Gotta go back). I felt pretty wrecked for over a week after this trip, really surprised at the recovery time I needed. Track 1, 2.
Arete des Cosmiques: Leo and I made our first trip to Chamonix this year, and it truly is a dream playground. We were lucky to overlap with our friend Chelsea and Michael by coincidence, so we all warmed up by climbing the world-famous Arete des Cosmiques together. We had great weather and it was just all around fun. Track.
Pyramide du Tacul: Also in Chamonix. This was just a good, fun climb in a spectacular setting. Alpine starts in Chamonix are beyond gorgeous. Track 1, 2.
Aiguille de la Republique: This is called the pointiest, most exposed summit in Chamonix! With a description like that, how could we not check it out? To tackle this, Leo and I spent two nights in the Refuge des Envers, which is a decent hike. We got to walk on our first dry glacier, which was beyond cool. The peak itself was pretty challenging, and we technically bailed about 50 feet below the summit, but I was proud of the effort. There was a little bit of everything: glacier approach, spicy scrambling, glorious hand jams, great exposure. It was a long and challenging day, but a good way to push myself. Track 1, 2.
Me touching the point of the Aiguille de la Republique in the first picture, the day before we hiked in.
Mont Blanc: Our last outing in Chamonix was Mont Blanc. After trying and failing many times to get spaces at the Gouter Hut, we had given up on climbing it. A record heat wave for our whole visit had made climbing Mont Blanc via the other main route, Trois Monts (three mountain route), too dangerous, due to a lot of steep snow and passing below seracs. However, at the end of our trip the heat wave passed and we had a great day for a summit. We climbed the Trois Monts route from the Cosmiques Hut (an amazing place to stay! At 11k ft on a glacier with warm food and excellent wifi). It was quite crowded (in my opinion), but the sunrise and views were spectacular. And a new elevation PR for both Leo and me! It was a really special way to close out the trip. Track.
Sierra
So many great adventures in the “backyard” this summer, despite my fitness limiting me. After losing a bunch of fitness at the start of the year, I had another setback by developing some pain in my left knee (patellofemoral pain syndrome). This meant I took nearly 6 months off from running, one of my main ways to keep in shape. I also limited my mountain excursions, usually only doing one day of long hiking/scrambling per weekend, to not push my knee too much. Some Sierra highlights:
Morgan N & Stanford linkup: This really is a lovely day in the Sierra. The mileage is a bit long, but it really doesn’t feel very sloggy at all. The terrain is quite solid 90% of the time, and you get to descend the “greatest sand slope in the Sierra”, coming down from Stanford. Did this peak with new friends Sarah, Peter (who are both also SPS-ers :D), Rob, and Alexandra, and it was a blast. Track.
Banner Peak: A fun one! Took advantage again of the good snow year to climb the snow route up the Ritter-Banner saddle. Got to do this with Leo, which was his first time in Ansel Adams Wilderness. Excited to finish off the pair, since I’d climbed Ritter a number of years ago. Now it won’t feel as incomplete when I look at the Mammoth skyline. Hoping to go back for Clyde Minaret this year with Leo via the climbing route. Track.
Williamson & Tyndall: An overnight with Emily and a new friend, Alex. We hiked in day 1, climbed both peaks day 2, and hiked out day 3 before having some BBQ at the US’s best restaurant in Big Pine. I found both peaks to be really fun (and incredibly popular! Was shocked by the number of people we saw). Aside from sleeping a bit cold at night in my bivy sack, this was mostly a Type 1 fun trip with fun humans, bring my CA 14er count to 13. Shepherds Pass was not as bad as I expected, I’m very happy to say (since, well, I’m going to have to hike it many more times). Track 1, 2, 3.
Labor Day peak extravaganza: Inspired by this Bob Burd trip report, Leo and I planned an excellent “compromise” trip, which was maybe my favorite trip of the summer. We planned to tackle some peaks in the high country of Sequoia/Kings Canyon (SEKI), but chose to enter from the East side, unlike Bob, due to fear of our inability to get permits for Labor Day Weekend (our East side TH had 20 or 30 walk up permits available — the West side had 6 [shared with the very popular Rae Lakes trailhead]). Leo and I hiked in Friday evening, hiking 9 miles to camp near Charlotte Lake. The next morning, we rose early to head over to Charlotte Dome. We climbed the 50 Classic Route on the dome, seeing only one other party (in perfect weather on a 3 day weekend??), climbing it quickly enough to unlock the rest of the trip. We had set a time for ourselves, that if we didn’t summit by a certain time, the rest of the trip wasn’t in the cards. Leo did a great job leading on probably too skinny of a rope and with too little gear… but you make gear tradeoffs when you’re carrying it 40+ miles in a weekend. From Charlotte Dome we hiked up a pretty awful slope to the Gardiner summit ridge. We dropped our packs and did the fun 4th class ridge to the true summit. We then reversed our steps back to our packs, and hurried down the other side of the peak, making camp in the dark. The next day was another hard one. We left camp as is, and hiked over to Clarence King, a peak with one of the more challenging summit blocks in the Sierra. We climbed another miserable loose slope, and found ourselves at the summit block. Leo, again, led it in good style. My height made it really hard for me to pull the very exposed move on to the summit block, and I nearly gave up. But, Leo found a way to safely belay me with the rope running over the summit block itself as an “anchor”, and I managed to summit! From there we hiked back over near camp, and I managed to pull together the energy to summit our fourth and final summit of the trip, Mount Cotter. This was a really fun class 2 scramble, that I was really thankful I found the energy for, since it’s ~30 mi round trip from the trailhead. We made it back to camp right before dark, and slept like rocks. The next day was a looong hike out ending in a downpour/thunder storm, before driving the long way back home. This trip felt like such an amazing way to really get out there in the Sierra and explore some epic spots, covering a lot of ground and carrying as little gear as possible. I’d love to do more overnights entering Friday evening after work this year. Track 1, 2, 3, 4.
Middle Palisade: A really fun day with Emily. This type of day is pretty much my favorite way to spend a day in the mountains – moving quickly over interesting terrain in a gorgeous setting. I’d been nervous that this would just be a total slog, but it was far from it. Very little of the terrain sucked, the scrambling was fun, and of course the views were great. I’m really excited to come back for the other peaks in the area now. Brought my CA 14er count to 14/15! Track.
Mount Hooper: Holy smokes the western Sierra is also awesome. I had only ever been to this area when I hiked through it on the JMT. I’d never driven the crazy Kaiser Pass road out into the west side. Leo and I had an excellent “compromise” weekend hiking Mount Hooper, visiting Mono Hot Springs, and doing some climbing on Tollhouse Rock. Again, new places that my list took me that ended up being really special. Really excited to go back. Track.
East Buttress of Middle Cathedral: My fifty classic for the year! But really, at least once a year I need to go to Yosemite Valley and climb something fun with Leo. It’s a good way to make me appreciate rock climbing and spend time doing something Leo loves. Plus, well, Yosemite has some pretty good climbs I guess. 😜 This was a really fun one with excellent climbing on it, and with only 3 parties on it on a gorgeous weekend day! One of them including Hans Florine, who was very nice. 😄 Rock climbing isn’t so bad sometimes.
Desert
Not too much time in the desert this year, unfortunately, aside from a JTree trip over Memorial Day Weekend, and a week in Sedona over Thanksgiving (though it rained/snowed half the time). Sedona is another awesome playground that I’m surprised doesn’t see more climbers. The towers are endless and stunning. I love the crazy features that form there. Given the poor weather, we didn’t get to do too much, but our climbs of The Fin as a group of 5 (track), and of Queen Victoria with Daiyi (track) both stand out as really fun outings.
Personal mountain philosophy
To the outside, it probably seems like I go on endless trips effortlessly, but that’s definitely not the case. I have an amazing partner, but our outdoor interests don’t fully line up, and that caused me a lot of frustrations in 2018. I hadn’t done a great job of fostering outdoor friendships, so it put a lot of pressure on my relationship with Leo, feeling like he was my only partner and we had to spend every weekend together. In winter, it’s great, since we both love to ski (though Leo is a much stronger skier than me, so I sometimes hold him back), but in summer it was a problem. Leo’s favorite activity is climbing, and climbing hard. When we climb together, it really limits the grades and objectives he can go after. On top of that, I don’t have nearly as much of an interest in hard climbs, and am all about long scrambles. We also both have a lot of our own mountain goals, and we weren’t able to accomplish them by spending most weekends together.
This summer, I made a concerted effort instead to spend less time with Leo and develop friendships with others. It was scary to put myself out there, reaching out to folks on social media or asking other friends to introduce me, but it definitely paid off in the end. I added some people I really clicked with to my network, and got to have some really great days with them in the mountains. I still enjoy solo days in the mountains as well, but I see a lot of value in seeking out others to share those experiences with whenever possible. I think it’s still good for me to do at least one solo trip a summer, but, generally, spending all those hours driving and hiking alone is something I want to avoid when possible. On top of having more friends I’ve connected with, I also enjoy the weekends I do spend with Leo more now, not feeling the stress that “oh no, this weekend I’m not accomplishing my goal again”. It also made me appreciate when we reconnect at the end of the weekend, swapping stories of how our trips went and cheering each other on. I feel more balanced and fulfilled, and I want to keep chasing that.
Also one weekend we took an offer from a photographer to do a free “elopement” photo shoot, to help build her portfolio. Cue me having to explain to everyone that we are not engaged or married, we just did a fun, different thing in the mountains for once.
Things I am excited about in 2020:
Making more mountain friends, spending more time with my current ones.
I just left my job, and won’t be starting my new one till the end of March! I’m spending a few weeks in Ecuador starting in late January, aiming to climb some of the high volcanoes there. I see this as great training for future expeditions like Denali. Hoping for good weather!
For the aforementioned trip, I’ve been training quite hard for the first time in my life. I am nervous, since my knee really prevented me from keeping up my fitness in 2019, and I’m not fully back from that yet. I am doing one of the pre-made training plans from Uphill Athlete, and it’s been the first time I’ve had a focused training plan. I am impressed with just how much cardio I can squeeze into one week :-P I’m excited to keep it up this year, and hopefully have a very strong summer season.
Getting better at skiing. And a hut trip to ski in the Selkirk mountains in Canada in March at the Bill Putnam hut, before starting my new job.
Spending some days at the Sierra Challenge. I’ve never participated before, but it’s about time I make the time to check it out!
Clyde Minaret via the 5.8 50 Classic.
Lone Pine Peak via the North Ridge.
Split Mountain! Ideally via the St Jean Couloir, but if not, then via the summer route. This would be my last California 14er :)
Boundary Peak (the highest peak in Nevada, on the border between California and Nevada (you see what they did there?). I drove past it last week and am now enamored with it.
Reaching 100 peaks on the SPS list (currently at 85/100).
A potential Orizaba trip over the winter holidays!
….maybe a big wall with Leo.
Something else you want to climb together??
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New Releases 8/15/17
“Happy New Release Day! Bit of a slow Release Day but there are a few titles in books and a couple of TV shows. I haven’t had time to due any research lately on new titles because I have been searching for my missing cat after work. So I’ve probably missed a few titles that might have otherwise been added to my notes. Though I did go back and double check everything I have already looked up to make sure I got everything.
In Books --Ghost in the Shell README 1995-2017 by Shirow Masamune “The definitive history of the most influential cyberpunk anime of all time! This beautiful, color hardcover guide begins with the seminal feature that inspired The Matrix and many other films, comics, and novels, and ends with the live-action Hollywood adaptation starring Scarlet Johansson. Follow the franchise that made manga master Shirow Masamune, legendary director Mamoru Oshii, and the studio Production I.G. the legends they are today. In-depth interviews, stunning concept art, and tales of behind-the-scenes triumphs and near-tragedies from the 22-year history of Ghost in the Shell.”
I have a lot of love for GitS (less so when it comes to Arise and just a tiny bit when it comes to the live-action movie--don’t ever mess with a lady’s ship). This history sounds like a great edition to add to my collection. I know GitS has inspired many different media but I don’t know every one that it has influenced. For a history, it is decently priced at $24.99 but it’s around 160 pages. I’m not very found of the title though.
--I Hear the Sunspot by Yuki Fumino “Because of a hearing disability, Kohei is often misunderstood and has trouble integrating into life on campus, so he learns to keep his distance. That is until he meets the outspoken and cheerful Taichi. He tells Kohei that his hearing loss is not his fault. Taichi’s words cut through Kohei’s usual defense mechanisms and open his heart. More than friends, less than lovers, their relationship changes Kohei forever.”
This sounds adorable. And I just wanna mention how much I love that there is slowly becoming an increase of manga in the US that features characters with hearing disabilities. Representation is important. First there was Gangsta by Kohske, then there was A Silent Voice by Yoshitoki Oima, and now I Hear the Sunspot. But my favorite thing for this series is that Taichi lets Kohei know that it isn’t his fault. I can understand why Kohei might think such a thing and I’m glad he’ll have an opportunity to start to shift his thinking and start to be more open. Plus, it’s always refreshing to see a series where the main characters fall for each other naturally. I’m really excited to try this series out.
--Tokyo Ghoul Volume 14 by Sui Ishida “As Kaneki and the fiercest fighter in the CCG, Arima, finally face off, several investigators launch an assault on Yoshimura, unaware of the danger that awaits them. The massive battle takes a turn for the worse when the One-Eyed Owl appears, leaving the fate of Kaneki and the CCG hanging in the balance.”
The final volume of Tokyo Ghoul. Volume 13 ended with Kaneki running into Amon and now volume 14 starts with them finally facing off. After that is when Kaneki starts his fight with Arima (just realized how much of a spoiler the description on the back of the volume is. At the end of 13 we didn’t know that Kaneki would run across Arima, unless you’ve already looked it up). I’ve been debating if I wanted to hold off reading this volume until the first volume of Tokyo Ghoul:re comes out. But since I already read 13 why hold off? Tokyo Ghoul:re Volume 1 will be out 10/17/17.
In Movies/TV --Digimon Adventure Tri: Determination “The Digimons are back in this world, but that doesn’t mean all is well. Joe has been avoiding battles with the Digimon in order to fit in with the regular world. And infected Digimons are still on the rampage. The friends will have to work together with their Digimons in order to overcome the terrifying infected Digimons.”
The second film of the six part series. I still need to watch the first one. I picked it up not long when the first one came out, I just haven’t made time to watch it. I would also like to rewatch the original series before I watch these. And at the current rate I’ve been watching my series...it’ll be a while before I can get around to it. Just glad to see the series has returned.
--Riverdale S1 “A subversive take on Archie and his friends, exploring small town life, the darkness and weirdness bubbling beneath Riverdale’s wholesome facade.”
I have not tried this series yet but I have heard nothing but good things about it. I did add it to my Netflix queue. But for all you fans who already watched and fell in love with it, the first season will be out today.
#ghost in the shell#gits#ghost in the shell readme#shirow masamune#mamoru oshii#i hear the sunspot#yuki fumino#gangsta#kohske#a silent voice#yoshitoki oima#tokyo ghoul#sui ishida#tokyo ghoul:re#digimon#digimon adventure tri#riverdale#books#new releases#book recommendations#anime#manga#movies#tv show
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Cynical Satire and Civic Optimism Across the American Heartland
NOVEMBER 19, 2018
THE ONLY TIME I’ve ridden on a Greyhound bus was in 2012, en route to New Hampshire to watch the primaries unfold. The trip itself was uneventful, and in electoral time it feels as if it happened eons ago. I may believe you if you tell me that the Republicans’ choice of Mitt Romney as their presidential nominee occurred in an age before air travel. I may even agree to take buses exclusively from now on if it means there will be a saner politics waiting at the end of the road.
Gary Shteyngart’s Lake Success is a novel centered on Americans’ nostalgia for the Greyhound bus. But it’s also a novel that skewers us for that nostalgia. Long-haul bus rides may seem the perfect vehicle for post-partisan populism. The Greyhound, we may imagine, combines beatnik fantasies with Middle America geography as it transports those too poor to buy a plane ticket and too down on their luck to be politically correct. But anyone who gets aboard the Greyhound to live out a sociological experiment rather than to simply secure an affordable ride from point A to point B is probably carrying some baggage of his own. This is certainly the case with Barry Cohen in Lake Success.
Barry is a hedge-fund manager who, like Martin Shkreli, has gotten fantastically rich off of corrupt Big Pharma deals. He’s running from the law, though he doesn’t admit that’s what he’s up to. His more immediate reason for buying a bus ticket and tossing his black Amex card is that his wife, Seema, and his nanny have just gouged his face after a fight with the neighbors in their Central Park West penthouse. Neither Barry nor Seema is ready to confront the fact that no amount of money can buy off their son’s autism diagnosis. Instead Barry cursed out the neighbors for having the sort of “neurotypical” three-year-old who can perform all the verses of “I’m a Little Bumblebee” at a dinner party. Now he’s fleeing through Baltimore; Richmond, Virginia; Atlanta; and El Paso, Texas, on an impromptu search for his college girlfriend.
Shteyngart’s allusions are aggressive. While traveling, Barry contemplates writing about his journey in the style of Jack Kerouac’s On the Road (1957), “but in thoughtful middle-aged prose.” Instead of President Donald Trump’s “small hands,” Barry has small wrists, and he obsessively collects designer watches to compensate. Barry’s fund is named This Side of Capital, and after that fails, he starts another called Last Tycoon Capital. Lest we miss the references, Shteyngart reveals that F. Scott Fitzgerald is Barry’s favorite author.
At the same time, it’s easy to imagine a man of Barry’s narcissism making it clear that he graduated from Princeton University by cornering someone at a high-status party to tell tales of acquaintances who once performed with the Triangle Club. Barry realizes he can’t brag to the Greyhound passengers in quite the same way, but he finds other outlets for his ego-driven ambitions. He dreams up schemes for an “Urban Watch Fund” to teach kids the mechanics of Rolexes and turn the youth of Baltimore into “stakeholders.” He mulls launching a hedge fund in Mississippi (“Absalom Investments”) and posing under a magnolia tree for a photo op as part of a Wall Street Journal story.
As satire, Lake Success is brilliant, yet Shteyngart seems to be reaching for something more. The book plays out in two parts broken around Trump’s election. The first half, which begins with a drunken Barry stumbling into the Port Authority Bus Terminal “at the start of the First Summer of Trump,” is a more entertaining read. Barry encounters various strangers, such as the Baltimore drug dealer he thinks may make a decent business partner; the beautiful Marriott employee in Jackson, Mississippi, who becomes the first black woman he’s ever slept with; and Barry’s personal favorite, the “one-eyed Mexican man [who] fell asleep on my shoulder!” But they are merely props on Barry’s personal stage rather than people who offer real insight about life outside Manhattan. The travails of the Greyhound ride get tedious and, predictably, Barry’s marriage comes to an end.
The latter half of the book is then tinged with guilt that we could ever find a man like Barry funny. Shteyngart emphasizes that Barry and his fellow plutocrats are responsible for our present political mess and that no road trip through the heartland can assuage that. Not only is Barry not as funny as we’d hoped, he lacks the modicum of self-reflection needed to pull off a narrative arc. Narcissists make for lousy presidents and off-putting protagonists — 350 pages is a long time to spend with such self-centered New Yorkers.
Barry’s wife is a deeply conflicted woman who is well aware that she traded in her Yale Law degree to become a trophy wife. Seema contemplates joining the Hillary campaign or working part time at Planned Parenthood, yet she enjoys the ease of Barry’s wealth, if only because it pays for her daytime trysts with a semi-famous Guatemalan novelist at the Gramercy Park Hotel. But Shteyngart’s message is less about the contradictions of feminist one-percenters than about the sort of men they marry. It’s high-powered men, Shteyngart maintains, who can’t have it all. Barry wants to live as a rich Manhattanite who can nevertheless take solace in having once completed a creative-writing minor at Princeton. He wants us to know that, at bottom, he’s a sensitive guy who’s read some Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway.
In one of Shteyngart’s best scenes (perhaps inspired by his own experience teaching creative writing at Columbia University), young Barry tries to wow his college girlfriend with a story about a misunderstood banker who stumbles out of his Mercedes-Benz into a Vermont pasture to confess his mistakes to a beautiful shepherdess (i.e., his girlfriend). Barry’s professor is having none of it. About Barry and his Goldman Sachs–bound classmates, he says, “Even the volatility of their emotions is a financialized asset which can be traded between them at will.” This feedback is lost on Barry. What sends him reeling on his road trip these many years later is Seema’s accusation that he has “no imagination.” As Barry tirelessly reminds us, he strives to be a man with both “a vocation and an avocation.” But with the Feds on his tail for fraud and his wife unimpressed by his reading habits, Barry seems to have neither.
While Lake Success seethes with cynicism, Our Towns, by James and Deborah Fallows, is doggedly upbeat. And whereas Barry’s cross-country adventure ends in an expensive divorce, Our Towns is a travelogue co-authored by a husband and wife who alternate chapters. The book, now slated to become an HBO documentary, expands upon a series of articles and blog posts James wrote as a correspondent for The Atlantic. The couple makes a deliberate effort to see “flyover country” by way of their single-engine Cirrus SR22, and the many flights they record between 2012 and 2017 put a new spin on the Kerouac conceit: steering their small propeller plane toward out-of-the-way landing strips allows them to see much more of the country than would be accessible by car (or, for that matter, by bus).
So the Fallowses crisscross from Burlington, Vermont, to St. Marys, Georgia, from Guymon, Oklahoma, to Dodge City, Kansas. Some of their tales from the field are genuinely interesting: we learn why most credit card payments are processed in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and how engineers at Texas A&M University are mass-breeding a species of weevil that will eat up the invasive plant threatening Caddo Lake. But the book as a whole starts to read like a lengthy chamber of commerce brochure. The founder of the Ocean Renewable Power Company in Eastport, Maine, boasts that it’s the “Kitty Hawk of hydrokinetic power.” Holland, Michigan, is home to the world’s largest pickle-processing plant. The kids at Mississippi School for Mathematics and Science know how to construct 3-D printers. All the civic boosterism begins to run together.
The Fallowses are big fans of “public-private partnerships,” street art, and minor-league baseball teams — in other words, very visible signs of regional activity. They explain that, when they arrive in a new place, one of their first questions is, “Who makes this town go?” This method inevitably points them in the direction of mayors and local developers, and, naturally, these are the types most likely to emphasize sports stadiums, river walks, and the new magnet schools.
Attractive downtowns are all well and good, but it’s strange that the Fallowses don’t feature clergy, social workers, or nurses, who may have offered a more nuanced glimpse of daily life when citizens aren’t dining out by the waterfront. Surely there are success stories to be told about rehab centers or local parishes defying the national odds. Maybe these conversations would have been too moralistic or ambivalent for a book that is so relentlessly sunny.
Whereas Lake Success is saturated with Trump allusions, the Fallowses work hard in Our Towns to eschew national politics even as the 2016 election haunts their travels. James admits that Fox News is often blaring in the background but insists that Washington, DC, just doesn’t come up that often. Somehow, however, residents know about James’s career as a speechwriter for President Jimmy Carter. How do they learn this unless the conversation occasionally veers toward Washington?
The Fallowses conclude that “[t]he more often national politics came into local discussions, the worse shape the town was likely to be in.” This is likely true, but the Fallowses hold so firm to this maxim that the reader gets the sense they’re afraid to broach both national politics and deep-seated local problems. James mentions that a nurse in Bend, Oregon, seems wary of giving him codeine for his flu because of the region’s opioid epidemic. But we’re left wondering what would have happened if James had followed up with her about how the city is faring with the crisis. Instead, the chapter pivots to a bullet-point list of all the opportunities available at Central Oregon Community College.
Likewise, when Deborah investigates rural healthcare in Ajo, Arizona, she gives a quick nod to drug- and depression-related issues and the challenges of operating a clinic so isolated that pregnant women can’t receive prenatal care. But then we receive a cheerful description of how gardens and farmers markets are answering nutrition needs in the desert. The story of Ajo ends with the Fallowses purchasing “jars of local citrus marmalade.”
In their preface, the Fallowses concede that two of the businesses they profile in Our Towns have since failed and that not all the places they visited are on the mend. We’re left to wonder which businesses these are and whether, in retrospect, the Fallowses see why they didn’t make it. Such reporting, however, would have required more skepticism toward their hosts’ sales pitches, an approach that clearly didn’t fit their book’s message of civic optimism.
So if the Fallowses come across too earnest and Shteyngart too stinging, what’s the contemporary writer to do? As puritanical as it sounds, some sincerity may help. In Lionel Trilling’s famous formulation, the rise of the novel coincided with the decline of sincerity as a serious moral virtue. At some point in the 18th century, Trilling suggests, the commitment to do and say what we mean — usually in conformity with religious principles — came to seem wooden and odd.
American sincerity probably lingered a little longer, given our rates of religiosity and the fact that we are so geographically dispersed. But there’s no question that plainspokenness gave way to an obsession with “authenticity.” The earlier strain of honesty had less to do with the individual: we spoke sincerely as a mark of faithfulness or, relatedly, to uphold the community’s virtue. Whatever primness was present at Plymouth Rock has long since yielded to romanticism, Freudianism, and the free-spirited urge to be true to oneself, not to some preening external authority. Authenticity remains a crucial part of the stories Americans tell themselves, but the self-conscious, self-centered strain of recent decades has flattered libertarians, hippies, Southerners, start-up executives, and, of course, wandering tourists.
Maybe, though, Americans are so angry because what they’ve been sold no longer seems authentic and they’ve lost the moral vocabulary to be sincere. In this absence of plainspokenness, Lake Success and Our Towns quest after what they want to be true. Barry tries to honor the love interests of his 19-year-old self, while the Fallowses look for the perfect microbrewery to fight urban blight. Yet they invite our suspicion: Barry doesn’t have an avocation, not all American towns are healthy, and our president isn’t a self-made man. We can only hope that, as citizens take to the streets, the authors who meet them there will truly tell it like it is.
¤
Danielle Charette is a PhD candidate with the University of Chicago’s Committee on Social Thought. Her work has appeared in The Point, The Chronicle Review, The Hedgehog Review, and Tocqueville 21.
Source: https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/cynical-satire-and-civic-optimism-across-the-american-heartland/
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Wonder Woman: A Marvel fan's perspective
I've just made it back from the local premiere of DC's Wonder Woman and I want to share my impressions with the internet right away! I'll do my best to keep it spoiler-free, because I really want people to go and see this film.
I don't want to be one of those fans who starts a review with I'm not a fan of her music, but, but I think my perspective is very much influenced by my taste in comics, and I want to disclose that right away. I've read maybe a couple of dozen DC trades in my time, including a healthy dash of Wonder Woman, but I'm nowhere near appreciating the breadth and depth of the canon in the way I do with Marvel. I'm the Marvel fan who sat through the credits getting excited over the special thanks given to Lee, to Rucka, to Wein. I nearly fell out of my goddamned chair when I realised the screenplay was credited to one Allan Heinburg. THAT'S RIGHT, TRUE BELIEVERS, YOUNG AVENGERS ALLAN HEINBURG! (And it shows, so if that's your jam, hie thee to a cinema, stat!) So maybe I've missed some stuff or maybe it's given me some insight. I don't know. All I know is it was a fucking great film and I'm usually a judgemental bitch about this stuff, so take from that what you will.
In a sentence: Wonder Woman is an excellent origin movie which doesn't overly linger on the foundations of its story, and which pays credit to its setting and the history of the character whilst managing to make reasonably meaningful statements about the bigger picture in war, through a decently intersectional feminist lens, and almost devoid of the male gaze.
I don't know very much about the decisions made in changing the setting of Diana's origins from WWII to WWI. I wondered if it was something to do with being less on the nose with Gal Gadot's Israeli heritage, but as it happens, there were some strikingly vivid depictions of the German instruments of biological warfare, perhaps more so than I've even seen in WWII films. Perhaps it was merely to differentiate between Diana and Captain America; perhaps it was to show a global war with more immediate physical impact upon civilians and fighting people. I would say this: it worked, it was fine, and the setting it gave to the world outside Themyscira when we got there was rich and deep.
The Themyscira of Wonder Woman was, oh blessed relief, a Paradise Island filled with women of different races and body types, up to a point – they were presented as very much a warrior people, and unfortunately, there were no fat women in the foreground. The geography felt real and lived in, and the island, cut off as it was, seemed to make sense. The costumes were not something I was thrilled about from promo shots, but in motion seemed to work much better: the desaturation of Diana's costume appeared to be to portray it as colourful leather, and it flexed and moved quite well with her body in motion (and boy, did she get a range of motion!). The Amazons of Themyscira, absent of the male gaze, absolutely did practice the art of fighting in skimpy clothing, and wore makeup – some of them, lots of makeup – but the camerawork rigidly avoided the male gaze. They emoted, they argued, they fought and they loved – the only part which irked was the total absence of body hair. But god, at least some of them weren't white! And her mother had WRINKLES and THIN SKIN AROUND HER COLLARBONE and SCARS. These are things I've never seen in a superhero film before.
The fights were excellent to my untrained eye. The clash between traditional and modern weaponry wasn't as viciously overwhelming as I've seen it in some iterations of the comics, but that was probably to the benefit of the film: the Amazons gained in perceived competence when they were able to use their weapons well even when appearing outgunned. This also allowed for the only obviously gay moment, meta aside – subtle enough to presumably get past censors worldwide, but still very clearly a moment between female lovers to any viewer who regards gay people as human. (Look! This is what happens when you let Heinburg write stuff! He's going to stick gay heroes in it and everyone's going to have a good time.)
Steve Trevor – Chris Pine, didn't know that until today – was pretty decently cast (my main issue being that he looked a bit All American to pass for a German soldier) and genuinely well acted. He swayed between wide-eyed innocence and awkward heroics brilliantly, clearly realising from the outset that he represented all of the wider world to Diana, and as such had a responsibility to her. Unlike the dryer DC films, the cinema where I watched, with a full house, was often shaking with laughter – unlike during the Marvel films I've watched, there wasn't one cheap shot. Instead, the humour came from actual wit, not quips – this was war, there wasn't any time for quipping. The wit was inferred by the audience. Here, a small sample: Diana sees Steve bathing. He is embarrassed and goes to cover himself, but not quickly enough. She stares for a while and asks him if he is considered to be an average member of his sex. His palpable despair at the nature of the question got perhaps the biggest laugh of the entire film (he bluffed that he was “considered an above-average specimen” initially, but that streak of toxic masculinity was soon knocked out of him).
Diana, meanwhile, was genuinely a good fit. Again, having seem promo shots, I was halfway to despair – she really does have a slight figure, and I don't think all the hard training in the world would bulk her up all that much. But oh, how she must have trained – she was no stuntwoman like some of the Amazon actors around her, but her muscles were clear and defined, and she carried a weight through the cinematography. A fall from on high would be met with a camera-shaking THUD into the ground. There were loving close-ups showing a lot of bicep when she hefted great weights above her head. Her thighs wobbled! Again, this shouldn't be news in 2017, but it hasn't happened yet in Marvel. Her accent was great – I presume it's her natural accent, and that the other Amazons were supposed to match to her? Unfortunately, some of them slipped into British English from time to time, to my well-trained ear, but it was really pleasing to hear a non-American American icon sounding... non-American. There was possibly a little unintentional humour to be taken from the fact that her key name 'Steve' didn't sound very natural to her tongue, and tended to come out more as 'Stieff,' but it was kind of sweet, the film didn't linger on it, and it wasn't really an issue. Her portrayal of Diana oozed charm and demanded respect. This was a young Diana, certainly – a Diana whose people are still keeping secrets from her, who wants to charge into battle and take the head of the enemy leader – when the battle is World War One – who believes extremely firmly in her gods even when her countrywomen might doubt – but whose groundings as a great leader are being found throughout the film. Gadot was utterly convincing as the ingénue who knows more than every man in the room put together. A balance was found with disarming ease in the script – she knows nearly every language and outfoxes the British government – but she genuinely doesn't see the point in trousers, and just about screeches with delight the first time she sees a baby.
On sex: my partner, who's ace-spec, said she felt a little alienated by the obvious inclusion of a sex scene. Me, I've read some Wonder Woman, and I think I would have been a bit insulted if there hadn't been any explicit attraction between Diana and Steve at all. In every iteration of the story, it's still the story: the first Man to the Island Of Women brings with him War, and the young Diana flees her mother's rule, falling for him and fighting for justice. I believe that the film could have managed without a sexual attraction between the characters, but I think it's a worthy nod to the history and a decent element of complexity for both characters, especially given the minor character reveal for Steve which takes place just as they're getting close to one another. The film isn't lost to slow gazes into each other's eyes – it's more clever than that; it uses small ideas to represent big ones. Sex is here because war is here. Glory is here but so is pain. And there are other joyful nods to her comic continuity: for those who it would really upset, I feel I must make it clear that her traditional origin story is here, but so is her New 52 origin. (I didn't have to dig to know about the conflict there - the Marvel fans heard DC readers screaming over that one). Despite my misgivings the moment it became clear that the film was going to Go There, it wasn't made into something which wouldn't work outside a feminist reading – more that Diana's people are more emotionally complex than she knows, that even the most loving of mothers can keep secrets. It didn't rankle, and I'd really thought it would. And Etta Candy was there! And the named villain she kept coming up against was Dr. Poison! Honestly, to my untrained eye they both seemed PERFECT. Etta was a fabulous blend of side-eying quirky realness, who got to throw out nice little jabs about corsetry and getting The Vote which kept us very firmly rooted in the time period. Dr. Poison was wide-eyed genius and vulnerability – the perfect locus for the film's musing on whether war is inevitable, whether humans are driven to destroy one another by their own ambition and pride. With incredibly few lines she gave a commanding performance. I won't go further into defining roles played by other actors, because there's a nice few surprises here and there – I'll say this: the casting is great, and some Marvel pitfalls of overly screen-perfect costuming and dehumanising armour were deftly avoided.
Where the film truly shone to me was in its intersectionality. I'm SURE they could have done more, they could always do more. But given that this was a Wonder Woman film, and that we were bound to get a pale Diana and Steve, it did so much within that! From the minister played by David Thewlis, who (without comment) walked with a cane, to Etta's charmingly full-figured portrayal – overlooked and overworked by Steve, a plot thread they didn't pull hard on, but which added depth to the characters and their social networks, and which felt very believable. Crowd shots were incredible for this: a sea of soldiers with white faces, and amongst them, near the centre of the shot, a black soldier, for this was England during the war, and not America, and our forces weren't explicitly segregated. His uniqueness in the image made him the focus, not the novelty. There were older women staffing the medical services, there were soldiers in tam o' shanters, there were even Canary Girls for one very distinct shot, and I had to tell my English girlfriend who they even were. And here's something I'm annoyed with Marvel for again – the ease with which this film handled everything, when Marvel can't even get Carol fucking Danvers on the screen after god knows how many box office crushing successes. I don't know if there's any version of Diana's origin story where she and Steve join forces with a ragtag group of international fighters, but my god, if this is how DC are going to handle characters who seem suspiciously like Marvel's Howling Commandos, they can fucking have them. It was great. It never touted American exceptionalism, and there were some fantastic callouts, like Diana trying to find out who destroyed the way of life of The Chief, played by Eugene Brave Rock, and finding, simply, that he could point to his sleeping ally, Steve, and say “his people.” Yes, yes, yes. Saïd Taghmaoui was outstanding as Sameer – the sort of person who flourishes in historical accounts and novels of the time, but who we never seem to get on screen – a highly educated man who manipulates and fleeces others, because he wanted to be an actor – but he was “the wrong colour.” Ewen Bremner – Spud, from Trainspotting, as Charlie, fell a little flatter for me – there was nothing inherently wrong with his portrayal, but speaking as a Brit, I think the world has enough cowardly drunken Scots characters, even if they're brimming with sadness and complexity in response to a world gone mad. DC Bombshells has a Steve Trevor who explicitly suffers from PTSD, rather than transferring trauma into a more minor character – probably this wouldn't have been something they could manage in a two-hour film, but it was a shame, and it was a little dehumanising, as he was the only Scottish character, even if he was totally believable. Steve certainly had his moments of vulnerability, which I very much appreciated, even so.
Cinematography-wise, I think the film fell into some familiar traps. There was an irritating amount of blue and orange, though it wasn't half so pronounced as other action films of the last decade, and there was a wonderful scene where the colour scheme was used as a fakeout and faded into glorious bright golds. Still, the hyper-colourful ending credits were a tantalising reminder of the richer, more fully-realised world we could have had. The sets, however, were fantastic, and felt grimly realistic throughout the war scenes. The single tiny point I thought seemed historically off to me turns out to be something I was wrong on – pebbledashing for the exterior of buildings, iconically used on 1930s homes in the UK, was actually used in the 1910s for outbuildings. There are probably costuming, accent or set design mistakes somewhere in the film – in a production of this scope, there always are – but I couldn't find them, not once.
Score was fine – it's not what I go to the cinema for, but it seemed like it was used well and in all the right places. A couple of bits were good enough that I briefly wondered if it could be Howard Shore – it wasn't, it seems to have been a bit designed by committee, which I suppose is par for the course with these things and why I liked Shore so much in the first place. The ending theme's composed by Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine, however, and performed by Sia! I have no idea if it was good – as always happens at my local cinema, they brought up the lights straight away and everyone started talking loudly.
Essentially, whether it's a perfect film and whether it will stand the test of time is a different question as to whether it's a good Wonder Woman film, which it absolutely is. Were the themes clever? I would say they were consistent, and not guilty of overreach. Wonder Woman is at its heart a narrative about whether humanity and civilization should be worth the time of a godlike figure from a paradise civilization, and, by association, for ourselves. It wasn't hammered home, if that's not your kind of thing, and it's handled better than your average war film. Was it improved by a screenplay written by a gay writer who usually handles the small screen, and who's written for comics in the past? My god, yes – and was it improved by its direction by a woman – Patty Jenkins – known for her work with intense female actors? Yes! Should you go and see it? If you like films or comics, it's definitely worth it.
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Session 2
Before I begin talking about what happened in Therapy, can I just say how relieved, and am low-key/sorta glad, that I actually managed to get a good night’s sleep last night? I actually fucking managed to go to bed early, get 8 hours of sleep, and woke up around 6 AM without feeling like I was gonna pass out from sleep-deprivation (Yess! Take that insomnia)! >:D
Yesterday, as well as last Saturday (and even the earlier part of Today), were actually some pretty good days for me; These last couple of weekends Me and mom have been going to church for the last couple of Sundays around 6AM (most would be surprised with me being semi-religious/agnostic, but it was nice actually, calming even....) and closely afterwards we’ve been trying to make a habit of walking to our local library that’s close by (where there also happens to be a local duck pond in conjunction with said library). And Yesterday, on our way back from church, we even managed to help save this poor kitty (that had it’s head stuck in a jar).
So yeah, woke up around 6 AM in the morn today, and took a walk with my mom to our local library. It was nice (soothing even) just walking around in the crisp cold fresh morning breeze, and looking at the reflection of the pond whilst taking in the local wildlife: ducks obviously, a couple of squirrels, robins, crows, hell we even saw a fish (Salmon I think) jump and flop back into the water like twice, as well as saw a falcon on the rooftop of the library at one point too. It was nice, seeing these animals just go about their business, frolicking and whatnot. It made me smile. :)
We’re trying to make this a habit of sorts, (this the third time/third weekend now that we’ve done this, so far so good right) in order to help me get used to getting out of the house more often and make a ritual of getting some low-key exercise along the way.....Umm, does walking for half an hour or even an entire hour count as exercise?. lol ^^;
Anyways, I’ve also managed to accompany my parents to the grocery store during these last past couple of weekends aswell; and yesterday, I even plucked up the courage to go with them to Lowes and helped my folks pick out and buy a new washing-machine (the last one we had, has been on it’s last/final legs for like effing years now, so this was def. a long time coming).
Hell, today, I even managed to get some spring-cleaning done and dusted the crap outta my room and living room (haven’t dusted my damn room in ages, so it’s been a long time coming) and I’m not gonna lie, but it feels so much nicer/cleaner/fresh now that it’s not soo goddamn dusty, it’s nice. ^^;
And tbh all things considered, doing all of this as of late (even if it may seem miniscule to everyone else) has all really made me feel somewhat productive, and I think that it’s helping me a lot.
But anyways, back to the actual therapy session itself...
May 22, 2017
So, Second day of Therapy today...
And well, shit.... I mean knew it was gonna happen eventually (and here’s me thinking it was gonna take like ages for this to happen cause, if there’s one thing I really hate and can’t stand: it’s me crying in front of people, especially people I know or am emotionally attached to; it makes me feel soo fucking vulnerable, uncomfortable, exposed, and worst of all weak) but yeah, I didn’t actually think I was gonna cry this early on in our sessions (I mean we just barely got started). >_>;
...At first, My therapist just asked me how I was feeling and I told her that I was feeling nervous, nervous that during this session, we were actually gonna start digging into deeper, more emotional stuff, than the simple mere evaluation she did during our first initial session. and that’s when we started to talk and go through basically a timeline of my entire life up to this point so to speak.
- Age 5-6: Emotionally (and sometimes physically abused) by my Aunt whom was living/sharing a household with me, my parents, her husband and son at the time, let’s call her “Aunt C”; I felt like I was living in a broken home, a household full of domestic fighting (screaming matches) between my poor victimised mom and my poor excuse of an aunt who was basically a control freak and snapped / flew off the handle at every little thing. My parents were always working hard trying to make ends meet, they weren’t intentionally neglecting me or anything like that, they are good decent people (we grew up poor), but they just never really had the luxury or time to be spending time with me let alone take care of me (and so left me in my Aunt’s care cause they had no choice and it was convenient). The fighting was so bad that at one point I remember being horrified and in a state of utter shock as my “Aunt C” held my mom up against the wall with her hand around her throat (the memory of My Aunt almost attempting to strangle my mother will forever be burned in my mind). My younger self took refuge at school, My therapist says that due to the fact that I didn’t feel safe (nor was I getting enough consistent: love, attention, etc), that I started to block out everything that was happening at home via focusing on my school life, and thereby using my teachers and friends as substitute parental figures and family respectfully, in order to fill the void of what lacked in my home-life (I’ve done this all the way up till high school, I always consider my teachers as parental figures, adults I could legit trust, and each group of friends as my second/replacement family of sorts)....My therapist ain’t wrong: That’s why I always loved going to school, why my friends were the bright lights in my life from elementary school all the way up till high-school, and why I felt so damn attached to my teachers growing up, even all the way up till I graduated from High-School, to me they were my heroes (and it’s the main reason I wanted to become a teacher myself growing up.......and why I personally took one of my Teacher’s/Mentor’s/Old Friend’s death/passing soo damn hard during the year 2011, well that, and because I was actually a close friend to them, as well).
But none of that made me cry what struck a nerve, what really effing struck a nerve was the fact that when I was a Junior during High School, my dad had heart surgery (I was around 16 at the time), and my dad needed my mom to stay close to him (cause he was really scared and felt helpless without her), and I ended up staying at my “Aunt C” and her family’s house for a while.... And see here’s the thing, Aunt C has a son (my cousin) and I remember him telling me that he felt like i bullied him when we were kids, and in my mind we were just rough-housing, messing around as kids do when they’re 5-6.....He was serious when he told me he felt like I bullied him, and I felt absolutely fucking disgusted with myself, like sick to my stomach disgusted with myself, because in my mind I resent being put in the same category as my Aunt C or even being compared to her; because I always and will forever visualize/connect bullying with abuse (that and I personally hate the idea of people hurting other people; this all thank’s to my Aunt C).....funny how things came back full circle huh?......But anyways, when my cousin told me this, I apologized, and sincerely too....it was a serious moment between the two of us (because my voice started to crack with emotion, from tearing up in front of him), he accepted my apology and we never spoke of the incident again.
When I was explaining all of this to my Therapist, I didn’t even realizing i started to cry (like the silent, suffer in silence type of crying too); what really made me cry harder and struck a nerve was that she told me (after me telling her that I wished I would have known better as kid) was that it wasn’t my fault, that I shouldn’t be blaming 5-6 year old me for something that I wasn’t even mature enough to truly comprehend in regards to my actions and their respective consequences/repercussions.....I thought that I already made my peace with all of this in the past.....but to be honest, I think that really I needed to hear that from my Therapist.
We talked a lot about other moments in my life as well, like when I was 7 years old, my parents had left me with my godparents for like a week, and this was during Summer Vacation mind you (cause they didn't want me near my Aunt C anymore, and they were scrambling, looking for another place to live); I felt abandoned, like my parents abandoned me; my silly 7 year old self couldn’t emotionally comprehend what was happening, and didn't realize that it was only a mere short week( but in my mind at the time, it felt like months)....That was the first time I ever had a panic attack, the night my parents left me with my godparents (my godparents are and were good people mind you, I just wasn’t close or didn;t really know them all too well at the time).
We also talked about My High school Graduation, and how I noted that i felt depressed, sad, alone, and how I felt somewhat distant/abandoned by my friends (which I obviously blamed myself for); and how afterwards Grad-Night (they still do these nowadays right?) first kicked off my insomnia. -___-;
And the fact that one of the reasons why I feel so anxious is the fact that I’m afraid of encountering or spontaneously meeting up with some of my old teachers or high school friends, She asked me why I felt like this; and I said it was mostly because, I was mostly known as the straight A student, a teacher’s pets; and that these people had high hopes for me, hell I had high hopes for me; and that I’m afraid of feeling their disappointment, anger, rejection, of the the fact that I wasted my life after high-school, that and well.......that I’m also ashamed that I cut them all out of my life after I fell into a deep deep depression and had a mental/nervous breakdown (after my Mentor/Teacher/Friend passed away, and me shortly after failing all of my college classes, and dropping out of community college). Because if there is one thing I value above all else: it’s Loyalty and Friendship (I also told her that i’ve always had trouble keeping friendships in the past due to my trust issues, that stem mostly from my abusement from my Aunt C...cause if you can’t even trust family, how can i trust anyone else; but trust me, I fight against that anxiety-filled reflex as hard as i can, in order to still continue to strive and open-up/connect with people, especially those i consider and am honored to call: friend).
But the second thing that made me cry was the fact that My Therapist told me that she thinks that I’m a really strong person for willing to try to come to therapy in order to get better, and that I still had my whole life ahead of me (I’m 25 mind you, am a college dropout, doesn’t know how to drive, still live with my folks who deserve a better daughter than me, never even had a job before and am housebound, and all of this makes me feel like a goddamn failure), and that it wasn’t too late......hearing someone else besides my parents tell me this, solidified the possibility of there being some actual truth to what she was saying, that there was actually hope, and that was what made me cry, because of nigh possibility that there was still fucking hope for me.....well, that and that it might not be too late for me to reconnect with some of my old high-school friends from the past, even if it’s been 8 years too late (this one still scares the crap out of me mostly for fear of confronting them, their rejection and disappointment, facing their anger, etc).
....After a while, she told me that I placed waaay too many high expectations of myself (am too damn hard on myself) and she told me, that, that is my anxiety talking not, me.
And that she was glad to hear that I started putting in the effort of me trying to voluntarily going with my parents to the grocery store during the weekends (these past three weekends), as well as that fact that me and my mom have been trying to go to church, and take walks near our local library (you know the one with the duck pond).
Feeling sorta drained right now, gonna try to head to bed at 10:30 or 11 PM, in order to wake up early again (really need and want to kick my insomnia’s ass)....I’m sure there are loads of stuff I forgot to mention, or that I accidently skipped...If remember, I’ll probably do another one of these blog posts, and call it: “Therapy Session 2 Part 2″ or something like that. heh xP
- Lady Nevermore
#personal#therapy#therapy blog#session 2#second day of therapy#i can't believe i actually cried#didnt think I was gonna cry this early on....#social anxiety#anxiety#depression
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Tour d'Afrique 2017 - Nairobi (18th Feb) to Maun (18th Apr) - Distance - A long way!
Last year TdA felt like an epic one off challenge, this year it feels more like a way of life! Initially I was concerned about turning up half way through the tour with so many friendships and bonds already formed, last year we had a very small group which rarely got over 30 people with sectional riders, this year the group is rarely under 50 including staff. My starting point, Wildebeest camp in Nairobi was familiar and a great place to meet all the riders, new and old, I was made to feel very welcome straight away, it was also interesting to hear that many of this years riders had been reading my blog from last year! The setup has changed this year, we now have a massive articulated lorry as the main support truck and our trusty little dinner truck from last year has now been demoted to a supporting lunch truck, everything is on a bigger scale this year, it feels more like a moving circus than a bike tour! Having written lots last year (some say too much!), It's taken me two months to write anything this time around so I won't bore you with a detailed description of our day to day life but here are some of my initial highlights, firstly in Kenya. Dinner at Talisman in Nairobi with the not so thin Chris Daubney and friends, Beers with Beiber on Lake Naivasha after our first day's cycling on TdA 2017, cycling through the Kenyan highlands and the endless tea plantations, crossing the Equator and the punch party that followed! We then crossed into Uganda where we lazed about in Jinja (source of the Blue Nile), went clubbing (of sorts!) in Kampala before a 5am start the next day! Caught a ferry on lake Victoria to the beautiful Sesse Island and relaxed and recovered at the picturesque and tranquil Lake Bunyonyi. We then crossed into Rwanda, wow, what an amazing country, it was one of my favourite countries the first time I visited, It was even better this time. Very friendly people, unbelievably clean, stunning scenery and ridiculously good roads for cycling on, Rwanda has to be a must visit country for all cyclists and non cyclists alike. Unfortunately we were only there for a few days, just enough time to allow riders to visit the Mountain Gorillas, having seen them 10 years ago I opted to save the $750 permit cost and spend a few days exploring the wonderful bars and restaurants that Kigali has to offer! We then spent the next 19 days in Tanzania, the first section took in roads less travelled south of Lake Victoria from where we entered the Serengeti from the East Gate and then travelled on to the Ngorongoro Crater. Once again the vast plains did not disappoint, my favourite sightings were Elephants playing and bathing around us, watching a pride of Lions hunt and two rare daytime sightings of the Serval cats. We were also visited by a inquisitive Elephant at one of our two overnight bush camps who then cleaned out the bins before leaving us a few presents! So that brought us to Arusha which connected me back to the half way point on last years route, one month in East Africa circumnavigating Lake Victoria on a bicycle, you really can't beat it! The last 5 weeks have taken us along the same route I cycled last year but it's not felt at all repetitive, the dirt roads of Tanzania were not quite as "dirty" as last year, no trucks got stuck and most people made it to camp most evenings. Days that had been wild and wet last year had perfect weather conditions this year, most notably the decent from Mbeya down to the Malawi border, last year we couldn't see a thing, this year we had 60kms of simply stunning descending. That day alone justified my decision to repeat these sections again. To be honest I would do it all again for the bush camping alone...TdA - we need more bush camps! Having endured one of its wettest years on record Botswana looks a completely different country, dry savannah replaced by wetlands and green grass, it has been so wet than we had to get a flat bed truck across a 1.5km stretch of road which has been 3 feet under water for the last few months! The water hasn't kept the wildlife away, we have seen numerous bull Elephants on the road, often too close for comfort bringing back memories of being mocked charged last year! Other than a few stages I've not raced and as a result I've been pretty comfortable with the cycling this year however it has not all been plain sailing. After a night at "death camp" where I projectile vomited inside and outside my tent numerous times I took a day off the bike and spent my first ever day in the dog box (the small cabin on the dinner truck) which we renamed the "vomit comet". Along with 12 other riders we squeezed into a cabin designed for a maximum of 8 over the bumpy Tanzanian roads stopping with alarming frequency for emergency "relief breaks"! It was an all together traumatising experience and my efforts to cheer everyone up with a game of charades were not well received! In hindsight I actually wished I had ridden my bike that day, it certainly couldn't have been any worse! The weather has certainly been more challenging this year, Africa is stereotypically a hot continent and avoiding sunburn and heatstroke were my primary concerns last year, 2017 has proved different, it rained nearly everyday for first 6 weeks, something I should have been prepared for having known we would be cycling through East Africa during the rainy season. We have endured some absolutely torrential downpours and numerous flooded tents and it's been a daily challenge to get to camp early enough to dry out my tent before it pours with rain again! In Malawi half the riders had to be picked up on the road after showing the early signs of hypothermia having cycled through epic rain, wind and near zero visibility at nearly 2,000m altitude, in a slightly sadistic way that was actually one of my favourite riding days, in England we are used to these riding conditions! I may have found the cycling easier than last year but I'm still struggling to stay on my bike on a consistent basis! In Uganda I fell off going up a ridiculously muddy hill as 3kms an hour and then 2 hours later summersaulted over my handlebars into a bush after I lost control on a downhill stretch. In Tanzania I tried to plough through a large puddle only to sink straight into the mud below! I had a very lucky escape riding out of Lusaka when a car pulled out in front of me whilst riding on the highway at 35kms an hour, I managed to break slightly to reduce the impact but I still ended up going over the car bonnet with my bike still attached to my feet. It's the first time I've seen a car come off worse in a cyclist vs vehicle incident! I managed to brace for impact with my elbow which went through the car windscreen completely shattering and putting a hole in the screen but luckily I got away with a just a few bruises and glass cuts, thankfully I was wearing my crash bibshorts so I ruined an already ruined pair of shorts! The driver was more shaken up than me, I don't think he knew what had happened! He initially tried to claim it was my fault and asked for compensation but having been put straight by 15 local witnesses he backed down and after straightening out my handlebars I got back on my bike as quickly as possible before any confrontation could occur! Luckily I didn't hit my head so I was signed off to continue riding... So now I've made it to Maun, just two days from the scene of my first of last years crashes, these last two months have yet again been an amazing experience with many more highs than lows, I really don't think I would regret doing it again next year but I think it's probably time to try something new! West Africa is calling in 2018! Having approached TdA 2017 very differently to last year I feel so much fresher than 12 months ago and I'm really looking forward to finally cycling through Namibia and South Africa and hopefully making it to Cape Town in one piece!
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You may not think you need one of these portable jump starters, and at this very moment, you probably don’t. But there will come a time where you’re late for an appointment or stuck in the middle of nowhere, and waiting around for a good samaritan to come jump your battery just isn’t a viable option.
This model from iClever puts out a whopping 600A, which is far more than most similar products, and enough to start just about any car.
$50
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With 25W of power, this $27 Bluetooth speaker packs more of a punch than most of its peers, and even sprays that sound in 360 degrees, making it perfect for parties. Just use code 6PRIGVGE at checkout to save $12.
$27
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If you love inky blacks and vibrant colors—and who doesn’t?—this 2017 OLED LG TV is down to $1500 today on MassDrop, or $2300 for 65″, about $200 and $400 less than Amazon, respectively.
As you’d expect from any high-end TV these days, that gets you a 4K panel and Dolby Vision HDR, but OLED technology means the blacks will be far richer, and the colors more vibrant than any LCD-based screen you can buy. It’ll still cost you, but your eyes will tell you it was worth it.
Hands On: I Just Fell In Love With LG’s Flexible 4K OLED TVs
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It lacks an integrated subwoofer, let alone a dedicated one, so this AmazonBasics sound bar wouldn’t be ideal for your main home theater, but it would be a solid upgrade over, say, your bedroom TV’s built-in speakers.
$60
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If only the best will do, the brand new GoPro HERO6 is $100 off on Amazon for the first time ever today. Even during Black Friday, the only real deals we saw were on the previous generation models.
GoPro’s Hero6 Is Still the King of Action Cameras
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Anker’s original SoundBuds are your favorite affordable wireless earbuds, but the newer SoundBuds Tag just got their biggest discount ever. $18 is $12 less than usual, and the best price we’ve ever seen.
Your Pick For Best Cheap Bluetooth Earbuds: Anker SoundBuds
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The Tags basically appear to be a slightly tweaked version of the SoundBuds Sport, boasting a redesigned remote and better ear tips. Like the Sports though, they’ll still turn off when you connect the two magnetic earpieces together, and turn back on once you pull them apart. Smart.
$18
From amazonUse code ANKX3232
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If you’ve been curious to try computer glasses, but were scared off by the sky-high price of Gunnars, Velocifire will sell you a set for $17 today with promo code 7DFJQSKQ If you aren’t familiar, the appeal of these things is that they block out the blue light that emanates from the screens we stare at all day, which can cause eyestrain, headaches, and even insomnia.
$17
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This Belkin surge protector is one of our readers’ favorites, and Prime members can save 20% on it today, bringing it down to $16. If you haven’t replaced your main home theater or home office surge protector I several years, it might be time.
$16
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These Are The Best Home Theater Surge Protectors
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Top Home Deals
Standing desks are great for you, but working standing on a balance board while you work is even better. This one from Gaiam is designed specifically for standing desks, and it’s never been cheaper.
$40
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With a locking lid, this 6-quart Crock-Pot is ultra-portable and can serve up to 7 people, all for $39. You can even program it start cooking while you’re away at work so you can come home to a warm meal.
$39
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We’ve all had to throw away leftovers or cuts of meat and cheese that spent a little too much time in the fridge or freezer, but vacuum sealing your foods can keep them safe from freezer burn pretty much indefinitely, and dramatically extend their shelf life everywhere else.
It sounds like an expensive proposition, but today only, Amazon’s selling the well-reviewed FoodSaver Starter Kit for just $30, complete with everything you need to get started. That’s the best price ever by over $15, and the first time it’s been under $50 on Amazon since 2012.
Of course, you can use this to store meats in the freezer for a long time, but it can also keep cheese from molding, lettuce from wilting, or cookies from going stale, just to name a few examples. Think about how much food you throw away, and you’ll get a sense of just how quickly this purchase could pay for itself.
$30
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Woot has run a few deals over the last few months on YETI soft-sided coolers, but today, you can get a very rare deal on the rugged Roadie 20 hard-sided cooler. This thing can keep ice frozen for days on end, even once it finally gets warm outside again. Accounting for Woot’s mandatory $5 shipping fee, this is still $55 cheaper than Amazon.
I didn’t give much thought to my dish rack until I went to my mom’s house and she had this simplehuman beauty. It’s a small thing, but it looks so much nicer than the flimsy $15 ones you can buy at the grocery store and it is incredibly functional.
This product was missing from simplehuman’s Black Friday sale and discounts on anything related to this brand are rare, so today is the day to get this normally-$80 dish rack for $62.
$62
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Is bringing your lunch to work more often part of your New Year’s resolution? Pick up this 9-liter lunch box for just $15 when you enter code MAMWWB9S at checkout.
$15
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If you’ve been putting off replacing your wiper blades for far too long, Amazon’s throwing in a $5 credit when you purchase any two Rain-X Latitude blades, from now until the New Year. Just note that the credit is towards your next Amazon purchase, it’s not a discount on the blades themselves. You’ll also need to be sure both of the blades you buy are shipped and sold by Amazon directly, not a third party.
Electric kettles are hands-down the most efficient way to boil water. This normally-$40 Aicok electric kettle is selling for $29 today with code PRYSU8YB. It has 6 different temperature settings for various beverages from green tea to hot cocoa and noodles.
$29
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Extra bedding takes up way too much room. Pack it all up in this canvas underbed storage bag, just $12 with code FGQO3GZC and when you clip the $2 off coupon.
$12
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Top Lifestyle Deals
Note: This deal ends on January 1, so get your orders in now.
Yes, it’s already happening again. Nordstrom Rack has brought back their Clear the Rack sale and it’s full (and I mean FULL) of really incredible deals. Designer clothing, brands you’ve never heard of, everything in clearance an extra 25% off. This lasts through Sunday, so you have a good amount of time to pick up some discounts.
If you’re enough of a daredevil to give yourself a haircut, Remington’s Shortcut Pro makes the process as simple as possible.
For an all-time low $28 (after clipping the $10 coupon), the Shortcut Pro can run for 40 minutes on its built-in lithium-ion battery, and includes nine different length combs to customize your look. And unlike most electric trimmers, it’s shaped like a puck, rather than a wand, which makes it much easier to maneuver around the back of your own head. Just note that you won’t see the $10 discount until checkout.
$28
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I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but for most of the country, it’s cold outside. Like, way too cold. Luckily, Uniqlo’s running another sale on its awesome HeatTech gear for both men and women.
Eddie Bauer makes great stuff all year ‘round, but their wares really shine in the winter, and you can stock up on coats, pants, boots, and pretty much everything else from their semi-annual sale, including a rare deal on the iconic Downlight Stormdown jacket for men and women, which can keep you warm in temperatures well below zero.
I’m pretty sure I could spend every day of the next three months in long johns, and with this 30% off Amazon coupon, I could probably afford to. Choose from multiple sizes and colors, all for about $8 at checkout.
The Philips Norelco Multigroom is actually a ton of shaving tools in one: A beard trimmer, a hair cutter, and a body groomer. $20 gets you the trimmer, 13 length combs, a precision trimming attachment, a nose hair trimmer, a wide hair-cutting blade, and more. Oh, and the whole thing runs for up to three hours on a charge, so you won’t have to travel with the charger.
$20
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Nordstrom has three large sales each year: The Anniversary Sale and two Half-Yearly Sales. Well, this week marks the end of the second half of the year, so Nordstrom is taking up to 50% off a boatload of styles. It’ll take time to look through all the stuff, so maybe pencil it in as a meeting at work or pretend you’re in the bathroom and avoid your family or something.
When it comes to having a corner on the market, nothing really compares to Nike. And right now, take an extra 25% off their sale styles for both men and women, no code needed, as post-holdiday deal. Everything you could need for a good workout wardrobe is included, from apparel, to sneakers, to gear.
Note: If you don’t see the discount, try using promo code WINTER25, which is how this deal was supposed to work.
Top Media Deals
Amazon hasn’t been shy about offering up discounted Kindle books over the past week, but I suspect that the New Year will see a significant slowdown in sales, back to a more typical ~once per week schedule. Today’s sale has some great options though, a few of which we highlighted below. But be sure to head over to Amazon to see the full list.
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$3
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$2
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Monty Python and the Holy Grail is the greatest work in the history of filmmaking that included a killer rabbit, and its 40th anniversary Blu-ray is just $5 today as an Add-On item on Amazon. I’m not sure if they’ll string it between a couple of swallows to get it to you faster, but it should arrive before Christmas if you have Prime, in any event.
$5
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Amazon’s waving its discount wand on the Harry Potter franchise, with all eight Hogwarts-centric films on sale for just $7 digitally.
Top Gaming Deals
If you’re lucky enough to have gotten your hands on the SNES Classic, this $17 case makes it easy to bring to a friend’s house for a night of Mario Kart.
$17
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It’s not as advanced as a Samsung Gear VR or Oculus Rift, but if you have a smartphone and $17, you can experience VR with this View-Master Deluxe VR starter set. The View-Master is actually just a Google Cardboard-compatible VR headset, except, you know, it’s not made of cardboard, even if it’s priced like it could be.
$17
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If you missed out on all of the PS4 Pro deals around Black Friday, you have another chance to save $50 on the console today on eBay. Just note that it doesn’t come with any bundled games.
Should You Buy A PS4 Pro?
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Video Games of 2017 - My Ranking
8. Fire Emblem Heroes
I've spoken much here about how much I love Fire Emblem, and my general disappointment with the direction that Awakening and Fates have been taking the series. So I was both excited and cautious when Nintendo announced a Fire Emblem presentation for February.
The core game they focused on during that presentation was Fire Emblem Heroes, their mobile game. At the time I was pretty neutral on it, and more interested in the other games they announced. Over time, I would come to put more hours into this than Fire Emblem Echoes, and would not even buy Fire Emblem Warriors (something I have spoken about at length on this blog). But despite all that time, Heroes was a mixed experience. It uses a version of the traditional battle system that is both simplified (no dodging, no criticals, no weapon durability, smaller maps) but also has its own unique strategy in the less random nature of battles, and the range of skills.
Where It Excels
By far the best part of Heroes is the characters. We get to see characters from across the series with new art, with voice acting (in most cases for the first time ever) and with at least some new dialogue. This game is all about playing with your favourite characters. I was lucky enough that my favourite, Matthew of Blazing Sword, was one of the default characters available. The majority of these characters were adapted very well (albeit very simplified in their tropes due to the limited dialogue) and can invoke nostalgia no matter which game you started with.
Though the skill inheritance system, we can also make the weaker characters (like Matthew) significantly more useful by grabbing the right skills. This also works into the Pokemon mentality in letting you create your own movesets and strategies for your team since you have so many choices.My version of Matthew is pictured above.
The game has regularly been adding addition things to help strengthen characters such as Seals (universal skills you can easily equip and un-equip), and weapon forging.
We get a decent handful of free characters between modes like Tempest Trials and Grand Hero Battles, and also get one free summon per banner so we can get more random heroes in our team. In general, the developers have been wonderful over the year in listening to player feedback and implementing changes. They even streamlined things that were problematic the first time, such as the difficulty of the first Tempest Trials.
The variety of modes also helps give you more to do than something like Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. Even if there isn't a new mode to do, it's fun to train your characters and inherit skills onto them.
Some of the art is also spectacular, and all the map music is from whichever game they are representing at the time. For the first six or so months of this game, everything was wonderful.
The gameplay itself as I mentioned is much more calculated, which is fun once you release yourself from an older Fire Emblem mentality. You can actually plan ahead without having to worry about random criticals or misses. And while the maps are small, they tend to have enough variety to make for different strategies.
Where It Fell Short
Heroes is peculiar in that there is a clear time indication where the game became problematic. As I mentioned, the game mostly continued to improve up until around fall. There were definitely problems visible in new units being clearly superior to old ones, and the seasonal banners with limited characters (not to mention almost exclusively 3DS characters), but they didn't feel as large.
But it seemed like the improvements slowed down while the problems kept coming. More and more we found ourselves getting new rare units added that were objectively superior to old ones, and incredibly difficult to get. One particular notable case is of a character named Ayra. For those who don't know, let me quickly explain the monetization aspect of the game.
We get items called Orbs which we spend to summon a new hero. There are different banners which each have slightly higher chances of getting certain characters. Each character falls into one of four colours (Red, Green, Blue, Colourless), and when you summon you are randomly giving five coloured orbs to pull from. You'll only pull red characters from red orbs, for example. During a banner, if two focus characters are red, it's harder to aim for one over the other. Also as you continue to summon on a banner and fail to get at 5-Star character, your rate for getting one will slightly increase until you succeed.
Really this is the fatal flaw of the game; you need to play a Gacha system to get characters. Will this make them money? Hell yes; this game blew Super Mario Run out of the water in profits. You know who did this much better for the players? Final Fantasy Record Keeper. I called it one of my top games a few years back, and outside of having gotten a little boring it’s still great. By far the biggest benefit is that, in a game where you want to collect characters across multiple games in the series, you don’t have to play a Gacha system. You get characters from events which aren’t too difficult, and since they change throughout the year you still have an incentive to check in regularly. You still have a Gacha system in the form of equipment, and it’s just as important to higher level stuff, but at least you know you can get the characters you want so long as you are around in time, random number generator be damned.
Getting to Ayra, who was not only significantly better than other characters of her type, but also added onto a banner separate from the main banner she could have been on which featured characters from the same game she was in. This means we couldn't get the added multiplier when trying to summon her. A bigger problem is that a second red character who had been in the game for some time was on the same banner, so many people (like me), got him instead of Ayra. Finally there is the fact that Ayra is the only character who was added without an announcement, meaning the developers were likely trying to sneak past the dubious way she was being included.
From here is where the fanbase, myself included, started to notice the problems with the game more clearly. We continued to get seasonal banners with broken, 3DS only characters. We continued to see these 5-Star characters not be demoted to lower ranks (unlike 5-Star characters added during the first few months of the game, who would often be demoted). We stopped getting unique Grand Hero Battles and instead go repeats (except for the two really good characters, who never got repeats).
And even with skill inheritance and weapon refinement, the older characters just couldn't compare to the newer ones. More than ever, it became about spending orbs/money to get those rare characters if you really wanted a chance in the pseudo PvP mode, which is the main endgame mode people play.
Moving past those issues, there were some problems from the start. Some characters got the short end of the stick when being adapted. Raven, a sword-toting mercenary from Blazing Sword, was added as an axe-user. The Light-Magic wielding monk Lucius from the same game was added as a healer.
And a character named Lachesis from one of the Japanese games is able to use a huge variety of weapons and is a female warrior, but was added as a healer and give extra cute artwork that misrepresents her.Compare this from Heroes:
To this, based on her Genealogy of the Holy War design:
Dagger users, like my boy Matthew, are also very underpowered do to their style of gameplay (buffing and debuffing) being too risky compared to something traditional when you only have a 4-character party.
Meanwhile certain setups, like a team of cavalry units with all the easily obtainable “Horse Buffs”, are extremely overpowered. The equivalent Flying and Armor buffs are comparatively much harder to obtain since some skills are locked to 5-Star units.
Have I mentioned how much I hate that all the seasonal banners are only 3DS characters? The exceptions are Bride Caeda/Sheeda) from Shadow Dragon (which is fine) and the abomination that is Blazing Sword's Bride Lyn, which shouldn't exist.How about Christmas Hector?
Final Thoughts
I play this game a lot, and I will likely continue to. I also don't spend money on this game, and I will continue to stay that way. The game is starting to wear off its charm now that I've been able to get and train most of my favourites, and the fact that the last few months of updates have been more negative than positive certainly don't help. I'm glad this game exists, but I think it's likely going to stay at about this quality at best.
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How Jack grew eHow’s traffic to 5.5M distinctive guests per month
New Post has been published on http://articlesworldbank.com/2017/05/24/how-jack-grew-ehows-traffic-to-5-5m-distinctive-guests-per-month/
How Jack grew eHow’s traffic to 5.5M distinctive guests per month
How Jack grew eHow’s traffic to 5.5M distinctive guests per month
How Jack Robert Herrick built 1,000,000 dollar Adsense Site… two times
I mostly enjoy doing analysis on massive Adsense publishers and therefore the approach they got started. Since it’s the foremost technique I produce money from my websites, I’m forever interested in but they grew to their size and what lessons I will be able to take and apply to my terribly own sites.
Recently, I’ve been reading a handful of a man named Jack Robert Herrick. Since the day he ran his initial information processing system, he’s become one of the foremost necessary Adsense publishers inside the globe.
The best part? He’s achieved such nice milestones only one information processing system at a time, with search as his main traffic strategy.
While it seems every content-based business model these days is targeted around agent content and Facebook traffic, Jack is laser-focused on one issue, and one issue only: creating tremendous content that will stand the take a glance at of some time with Google.
And it’s been working… o.k..
This affected a chord with the state, since it’s the model I aim to achieve with my terribly own sites, and conjointly the one I teach regarding inside the Niche information processing system Course. whereas I’m obscurity near the quantity of traffic and Adsense gain as Jack, it’s such a plan to examine that such numbers square measure potential.
For people who haven’t detected of Jack before, you’ve all told likelihood detected of his sites: eHow and Wikihow
I’ve learned such plenty merely researching his approach and outlook whereas building these two companies, which I hope you will be able to get one issue valuable out of it yourself.
So here goes…
The story of eHow.com
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Although Jack is usually the first name that involves mind once you’re thinking that concerning eHow, he’s not the one World Health Organization supported it.
eHow was originally supported inside the first years of the first net bubble, in 1998.
It wasn’t a typical “niche site” project started by a variety of men. it had been a full-fledged, VC-backed startup with 200 staff. They launched with $36M in funding, further as Associate in Nursing investment from the very best VC firm at the time, Hummer Winblad.
Why did it get such plenty attention before it had been even launched?
The internet was young within the past. What appears like a jammed market recently was Associate in the Nursing empty market not too within the past.
We have a countless vary of “how-to” websites recently, but back then… plan|the thought|the concept} of an oversized how-to guide Infobahn gave the look of a wonderful (and really lucrative) plan.
In 1999-2000, it had been one of the foremost modern sites on Infobahn. the initial founder and conjointly the company govt were even featured on Oprah.
On prime of that… as a result of they were receiving such plenty traffic and a spotlight, the positioning received POWERFUL links from with regards to each massive website on the online at the time.
But they created a large mistake…
They blocked Google from locomotion their website… purposely……
Because back then… SEO wasn’t this necessary issue that everyone paid attention to, or maybe knew concerning.
To the initial founders, their thinking was, “Hey, why square measure we tend to material possession this issue known as Google crawl around our website. an oversized share of individuals square measure planning to begin mistreatment Google rather than returning to our website directly.”
Instead of permitting individuals to travel to Google, and risk the likelihood of them clicking a distinct result apart from theirs, they only blocked Google altogether.
They got what they needed. that they had one in every of the strongest link profiles of any website at the time, however, they didn’t rank for all the world.
They were doing well with the strategy…… but…..
Soon, the dot.com bubble hit…
eHow was hit unhealthy. Their operational prices were simply too high, and in 2003 they filed for bankruptcy.
The unhealthy selections continued…
As the dot.com bubble hit, advertising CPM’s were dying with it. Ads that wont to have a $12 CPM born as low as $0.12 CPM.
As a result, they reverted to a pay-per-view reasonably vogue on their website.
People had to pay to complete the remainder of the article. once that stopped operating, they needed them to check in and slammed offers down the customers’ throats throughout the registration method.
So if somebody simply needed to find out the way to cook associate degree egg or one thing, that’s what they’d see.
That’s decent thanks to driving individuals away and build them ne’er come.
And in 2004, they solely had forty,000 distinctive monthly guests to the positioning.
Then came Jack Herrick…
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Jack Herrick had been following eHow for a couple of years currently. He used their website and idolized the concept of getting an enormous how to orient the web wherever you’ll learn to try and do with regards to something.
He was known as them up and offered to shop for the website, and therefore the house owners were quite happy to let alone of it.
And guess what quantity he bought it for? $100,000.
That’s an out of this world deal if we glance at what quantity eHow has adult these days, however, it wasn’t such a straightforward call for Jack at the time.
He would be mistreatment the money he and his better half saved as payment for a house. And the content was seen as a dying business model.
Even his plunger friends suggested him to not obtain the website.
It was a giant risk.
But Jack had a bigger vision for the positioning, and he went through with the acquisition.
How Jack grew eHow’s traffic to 5.5M distinctive guests per month
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After seizing the positioning, he created some very massive changes now by doing three things:
1. He removed all the blocks on Google’s crawlers. 2. He took down all the registration processes that blocked individuals from viewing their content. 3. He affected to a less complicated proof strategy: Adsense.
Within a couple of years, traffic grew to five.5M distinctive guests per month, and therefore the website was profitable once more.
Adsense was initial created public in 2003 so that they were blessed excellent temporal arrangement.
Remember this is often in 2003. There weren’t many ad networks like we’ve got these days.
To find the simplest way to legitimatize many thousands of pages with a large form of subjects would are the associate degree not possible task.
With Adsense, they simply inserted a little of code, and it’d show relevant ads on every page.
Frustrations whereas running eHow
As traffic grew, Jack completed that he wouldn’t be able to continue on with this model. it had been turning into a content farm.
His goal was to create the world’s best how-to guide. but he was being emotional extra aloof from his goal with every article that was being discovered on the placement.
They were paying $15 per article at eHow. And for $15, you get a $15-quality article.
Soon, the placement was full of fluffy content, and Jack fell out of tenderness with the business.
Also, search traffic drove their entire business, but at the speed, it had been going, things didn’t look sensible for the semi-permanent.
But it had been acting at the time. therefore why fix one issue that isn’t broken?
Instead of propulsive the entire structure of but eHow operated, he set to start out a fresh information processing system on the side.
And WikiHow was born in 2004
WikiHow contends into Jack’s vision for a how-to information processing system with exclusively the simplest quality of content.
Jack wasn’t throughout this for the money. He was addicted to his dream to create the world’s best how-to guide for any value and everything on Infobahn.
WikiHow was the placement that Jack fell soft on with, and can grow it the strategy he wanted to from very cheap up.
After deciding that this was the one issue he wanted to focus on….
Jack sold eHow to Demand Media in 2006.
Demand Media is one of the most important Adsense publishers inside the globe and is presently a publicly listed company.
Their own business strategy is the type of ingenious and disputable, but that’s a story for an extra day.
They’re primarily a content farm. but what’s fascinating is that that was their strategy since the company was initially supported in 2006. They use Associate in Nursing recursive approach to figuring out what’s a hot Google search, therefore, write content for it (for cheap).
They’re taking advantage of their domain authority, but scaling it to extreme lengths.
But back to the story…
At the time, WikiHow was still troubled to induce off very cheap. eHow was a thriving business making numerous money.
So why did he sell it? so as that he could concentrate on WikiHow regular. He could use the money to fund WikiHow. it’d provide him the financial security to not have to be compelled to worry regarding money, whereas he worked on his new project… whereas not having to need on VC investors.
Jack saw WikiHow as a result of the approach forward for the how-to business.
Although Demand Media was tuned into WikiHow once they purchased eHow, they didn’t see it as a threat. it had been a definite model than what eHow was and barely looked to be getting any traction.
What’s the excellence between eHow and WikiHow?
The main distinction is an offer of content:
– eHow’s content is purchased content. They pay writers and freelancers a little fee for writing their articles for them.
– WikiHow’s content is free. It’s a wiki (like Wikipedia). It’s open offer. Anybody can add and edit articles on the placement. people contribute articles to the placement through their own passion Associate in Nursing love for associate degree open offer net.
The second distinction is quality of content
WikiHow determines to be the simplest in quality for all their articles.
That being same, they’re a wiki! which implies someone off the block is going to be a district of and submit a chunk of writing on their information processing system. therefore numerous them end up as crap.
But WikiHow has editors.
Unlike eHow, their articles regain over time. If something appearance wrong or superannuated, it gets mounted. That’s a feature that eHow would realize terribly troublesome (and expensive) to emulate.
Lastly, company size
WikiHow may be a terribly tiny, lean, and economical company, and employs solely around twenty-four individuals, whereas some websites with an identical Alexa ranking could have many hundred.
And they didn’t need to take any venture cash since it absolutely was supported. that permits Jack to run the business additional|far more|rather more|way more} freely and with a more open-mind, that is crucial for the ASCII text file internet.
Should you begin your own wiki?
Here’s the question you would possibly be wondering: “Why the hell would individuals wish to write down articles for my website for free!?”
I had a constant question myself.
Basically, it’s for a purpose of causative to one thing that’s bigger than them. they need to assist others and build price within the world.
This question was asked on Quora and Wikipedia’s founder, Jimmy Wales left 3 words:
If you discuss with folks that contribute to sites like Wikipedia and WikiHow, and alternative wiki-based most sites, they need a passion and robust interest in it. It’s their hobby, and it’s fun for them.
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So if you would like to start out your own Wiki, the most important challenge is attracting the proper individuals to return contribute to your website, if you were ever to start out one.
The perfect business model
WikiHow’s business model may sound sort of a dream come back true for many publishers. You essentially have the complete world making top-notch content for them, and everyone they need to try and do is slap Adsense on those pages.
They don’t have to be compelled to rent writers, manage many employees, and may calculate of the comfort of their own residence.
Yes, WikiHow runs their business out of their home.
They have one in every of the foremost desired business models within the world.
But it took plenty of diligence (and luck) to urge there.
Jack states that the toughest half concerning running a public wiki website is obtaining it started. plenty of luck is concerned.
How does one lure strangers onto associate degree empty website that they’ve ne’er detected of to start out causative and redaction articles for you…..for free!?
It appears like an associate degree not possible task.
Here’s what Jack Herrick describes his initial few years were like running WikiHow: Depressing.
There simply wasn’t enough individuals on the editorial and contribution facet of things to urge things rolling.
People would submit poorly written content, hooligans would destroy the homepage (and even place up footage of their junk), and there wouldn’t be enough editors to catch everything quickly.
Imagine awakening, grabbing an occasional, and gap up your website and seeing an image of a **** on the homepage.
Seriously………… it’d demotivate anybody to only hand over and curse the entire wiki model.
But Jack unbroken at it. For a couple of years.
IT WAS a couple of YEARS BEFORE it absolutely was PROFITABLE. Not many folks will go years functioning on one thing like this. It wasn’t creating cash, and it absolutely was frustrating to do and manage everything that folks were submitting.
But he curst it, and created it work.
As additional editors joined, they successively invited additional of their friends and colleagues. And it absolutely was sort of a snowball result.
It took an extended time, however, WikiHow finally took form.
What’s the massive payoff?
Obviously, once you’re able to produce this method, the machine works on its own. you’ve got editors, contributors, and therefore the entire world simply making and redaction articles for you.
But Jack’s biggest payoff was seeing what quantity price was being provided by WikiHow.
It was having a community and making the kind of content that CAN’T be bought.
For instance, Jack represented in his Mixergy interview that one page, “How to Survive in Federal jail,” was written together of former federal prisoners.
You could ne’er have paid a contract author to write down one thing like that!
Lojjik Braughler, a WikiHow admin and editor, says: “Exact money details don’t seem to be disclosable. However, wikiHow is definitely a profitable company. it’s used the constant model from timely and it works pretty much.
What distinguishes it from several alternative corporations is that though it turns a profit, profit isn’t its primary motive. it’s associate degree influence, yes, however, the first goal is building a high-quality how-to manual in multiple languages.”
And it definitely shows in their content’s quality.
The issue that affected ME most:
WikiHow would ne’er have an adult to wherever it’s these days while not Jack Herrick. while not somebody with Jack’s mindset…. the corporate wouldn’t be at the scale it’s these days.
The most spectacular issue I’ve learned concerning WikiHow was, however, they handled Google’s Panda updates. At the time, Google specifically went once these content farm style of websites with caliber content and manufacturing articles at scale.
Sites like eHow and WikiHow were hit pretty exhausting.
But whereas all their competitors were yield, parturition individuals off, and touch the brakes on content production, WikiHow did the other.
They doubled down. They employed additional individuals and determined to repair their low-quality content.
When their competitors have needed the business, they saw it because the excellent chance to double down and capture additional of the market.
That doesn’t mean they weren’t hit. They were. however, they’ve taken the mandatory steps to appreciate what would add the future.
In addition to doubling down on additional top quality content, they conjointly hid their low-quality content pages from Google.
Once they revamped them, they’d re-introduce them on the most website once more.
It’s this long strategy that allowed WikiHow to restore because the how-to leader within the net whereas others square measure still making an attempt to recover.
WikiHow these days
Today, WikiHow ranks for with regards to everything. no matter search you are doing, you’ll doubtless see a WikiHow page on the primary page of Google.
Jack’s long efforts paid off. you’ll notice a large distinction within the decrease of alternative how-to sites that square measure contact, and therefore the increase in WikiHow pages that square measure contact.
According to SimilarWeb, WikiHow is obtaining one hundred thirty million guests per month.
90% from organic search!
Compare that to a website like BuzzFeed, UN agency gets constant quantity of traffic, however square measure operating round the clock to form stories go infectious agent, and maintaining their 500+ staff.
eHow gets twenty-nine million guests per month.
Image Source business2community
Proof that long efforts perpetually pays off and square measure way more worthwhile than growing quickly through no matter suggest that necessary.
With such a large amount of pages on their website, maintaining quality is usually a piece current, however, WikiHow is on the proper track.
Some other stats on WikiHow
This is straight from the WikiHow website and doesn’t appear to mention once it absolutely was last updated.
Lessons learned
There square measure plenty of things to be moved out from the story of WikiHow. Here square measure a number of the foremost necessary ones.
1. Building a website with a long strategy can perpetually be profitable, notwithstanding the conditions of Google.
So many individuals square measure too fixed with the likelihood of their cash sites obtaining “hit” or fined. If you’re not doing something “shady” then you shouldn’t need to be worrying all the time.
If you build your website from the bottom up with robust, high-quality content, and acquire authoritative links from a real website, then there’s nothing to “hit.”
Only then, a distinct segment website will be converted into a business that’s property, and around for the long-haul.
Jack knew that eHow wasn’t doing things the approach it ought to for a long strategy. That drove him to form WikiHow.
Even once things square measure operating NOW… assume to yourself if this is often a long strategy or simply a short play.
2. show a discrepancy from your competitors in QUALITY
Don’t simply build additional links than your competitors. produce content that blows them out of the water. If Google were to place everything on the primary page facet by facet and analyze them, wherever will yours stand? If it doesn’t need to be #1, then don’t be stunned if it isn’t.
Having far better content won’t simply mechanically rank you over your competitors instantly. That’s associate degree typically misunderstood conception concerning quality.
Having top quality content affects your rankings and traffic within the long. It’s solely a district of the equation.
It becomes easier to urge links, shares, and you’ll pull in additional long-tail traffic. UN agency cares if the #1 ranking page is #1. If you’re able to produce a monster of a page that pulls in 2x the traffic through long-tail searches, then you’ve already won and it’s solely a matter of your time before you stand out it.
3. provides it time, and have a vision for the positioning
It took years before Jack was profitable, and WikiHow finally began to take form.
YEARS!
Most people in net selling hand over once a month or 2 if they don’t see instant profits from their website.
Don’t simply marvel why rankings for your main keywords haven’t affected in over per week. Instead, consider the long vision.
Where does one see the website being once a year? What’s your yearly goal for the positioning? At what purpose can the site be deemed as a success? What does one have to be compelled to waste order to urge there?
If you don’t even care concerning thinking ahead that way, then it’s not a decent sign, particularly in today’s SEO landscape.
4. continue your vision
When Panda hit, everybody was yield. however, Jack doubled down and invested within up content quality.
Sounds like the plain move after we examine it these days, however back then… once traffic drops cardinal overnight… it’s not a straightforward call to form.
But his vision wasn’t to suck profits out of a content-farm business.
His vision was to form the simplest how-to orient the web. And that’s what allowed him to possess this completely different mental attitude once Panda hit.
He wasn’t like, “Oh, okay that didn’t work. Let’s dump it and advance to one thing else.”
He discovered the simplest way to repair it as a result of he believed in his site’s mission.
5. Plan BIG
Make any niche website you begin recently “worth the trouble.”
Don’t chase small niches. Aim bigger. Doesn’t need to be as massive as WikiHow, however, target massive keywords.
Think about the potential of your keywords, your niche, and your website. What’s the come on creating that website a success?
If you’re curious about basketball, don’t simply realize a keyword like “how to leap higher” and base your entire website around it. Go bigger. Build a website around basketball coaching and dominate all the most important keywords.
Make sure that no matter diligence you place into your website, the reward is worthwhile.
Should you begin your own how-to site?
It’s just about not possible to contend with WikiHow and eHow currently.
They have a couple of insurmountable advantages:
1. They were early to the web. 2. they need associate degree completely insane link profile and domain authority. 3. they need an oversized team. they will grind out a thousand articles tomorrow if they required to. 4. They cowl something and everything.
Don’t depart there and check out to make consecutive WikiHow or eHow. I still discuss with plenty of individuals UN agency dream of it, however, it’s positively not a decent plan unless you’ve got some solid designing, and funding, in place.
While it’s associate degree formidable goal, content quality is not possible to keep up once your objective is to grow at such an enormous scale.
The only reason WikiHow was able to make love is as a result of they’re a wiki. They’re associate degree open supply website that the globe will edit.
And withal, they’re still having issues with it.
Instead… go specialised
Don’t simply build a generalized how-to website concerning something and everything. build it concerning one thing additional specific.
For example, a how-to website for dads, or for men solely, women only, or for faculty students. What a few how-to website for extant within the outdoors, or a how-to for minimalist living.
If you’re thinking that during this approach, there square measure plenty of various directions you’ll go, you continue to have plenty of space to grow, and it’ll be manageable to make on your own or with simply a tiny low team.
Source RankXL & Edited By articlesworldbank.com
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