#on my main i have something like this queued for 2 ½ years straight

[toast-in-a-cowboy-hat]

About a yeaw i-into o-ouw wewationship, m-my wifewong best fwiend died unexpectedwy. The news o-of this happening twickwed out swowwy and towtuouswy over the c-couwse of the day while fwiends and famiwy were contacting each other to f-figure out what was going on ☆*:・ﾟ John w-was on his way to a hockey g-game with some fwiends when I fiwst got wind t-that something had happened, but nothing was confiwmed yet ☆*:・ﾟ I hate hockey, but J-John woved it ☆*:・ﾟ and he wouwd often go to games with his fwiends〜☆ and I wouwd sit at home and scwew awound with the computer ☆*:・ﾟ I cawwed and towd him what I thought was going o-on. He was comfowting uguu.., concewned e-even, but he said that he was awmost at the a-awena.., and he’d be home in a few h-houws uguu.., stunned uguu.., I just said... “o-okay.” I didn’t even put up a fight. I spent those few houws panicking, texting, cawwing fwiends, w-wefweshing sociaw m-media feeds, doomscwowwing〜☆ twying to figure out what was going on. Awone.

I had weceived confiwmation of the bad news by the time John had come home a few houws watew (≧◡≦) I was in a state (* ^ ω ^) We g-got into t-the wowst f-fight that I c-can i-imagine g-getting into. I’ve never been that w-wowked u-up before ow s-since. It did stop s-showt of being a fistfight, though. It got heated. My b-body witewawwy fewt wed hot. We wewitigated owd awguments that had been peacefuwwy put to bed m-months a-ago *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ I descwibed t-these wewitigations on the v-voicemaiw message that itsewf was a w-wewitigation of this howwible day ☆⌒ヽ(*"､^*)chu I scweamed untiw I was hoawse *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ John did〜☆ too〜☆ I w-was so wesentfuw o-of him fow not coming home. I don’t think he had time ow context to p-pwocess how s-sewious the ciwcumstances were w-when I cawwed him o-on t-the way t-to the hockey match (* ^ ω ^) I fewt tewwible fow him now O.o b-but i didn’t think i was awwowed to tell him that ☆⌒ヽ(*"､^*)chu it all spiwwed out of me wike a c-cup that h-had been fuwwy i-invewted all water moving in unison to m-make a fowcefuw swap on the gwound. It h-had c-cweawwy been pent up inside of me s-still, in a s-small cowner that I onwy thought to wook at in the wowest pawts of m-my wife.

and then I t-towd him that I didn’t fowgive him.

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

Ten Tag Thursday

Rules:Post 10 facts about yourself and pass it along to a few favorites!

I am pretty close with my brother, he's three years younger than me and he lives 5 minutes away. We'll talk about anything and everything with one another. I thought most siblings were like this but my husband's aren't. The defining moment of difference when I was getting wheeled away for surgery and my brother licked my face. My husband was like WTF, and I was like we've always done that. Our reason being our mom saying "if you really love someone you'll lick them anywhere" demonstrating by licking my stepdad's armpit at the time. Granted we're adults now, but every once in awhile we'll face lick.

2. I have a bump on my forehead from when I was younger and fell off a wobbly kitchen chair and hit the VHS cabinet corner and got a nice slice. I was like... 8 and trying to get my paints from the back room when my mom was napping.

3. I have a weird memory, I can't remember most of childhood before like 10, but I can still remember lines from movies and tv shows I haven't seen in years.

4. I want to have kids, like so badly. But I'm terrified that I have something wrong with me to where I can't. If I can't I wouldn't mind adopting, hell I would want to adopt anyway, not as a last resort, I just want some kids. But husband and I have those types of appointments this month to make sure we aren't damaged.

5. I'm one of two granddaughters on my dad's side, the other one is almost 20 years older than me so basically I'm the only one in the last batch of babies.

6. I'm scared of birds and mice. Birds if there are more than two together can swarm and attack, they can poop on you, they can flap in your face. And the mice fear I blame on my mother.

picture it 1997, six year old Lem, with a sprained ankle, hobbling down the hall to the bathroom, mom helping me walk because I was hurting. She opens the bathroom door and turns on the light only to see a mouse. She shoves my ass in the bathroom, shuts off the lights, slams the door and runs screaming for my dad.

7. I've written three books, wrote them in like middle school and they are HORRIBLY cringe now, especially when I remember asking my english teacher to proof read them AND SHE DID. One was an old victorian romance with the main male lead living in a treehouse, one about a werewolf romance, and one with a vampire romance.

8. I'm afraid that I'm not a good person, that I'm only pretending to be one.

9. I've always been a fucking smartass, and have always had incidents of malicious compliance. My mom shares a story about when I was in softball at age.... 10? 11? When I was pitching and the coach kept getting on my ass about "Presenting the ball" and I just straight up Vanna Whited the ball to the players and the stands, hand flourishing and all.

When I worked at a Walgreens one night the manager wanted me to put together a display of russell stover chocolates for easter, and as I was working a coworker was the only cashier and he was busy so I went to help a lot. Then at the end of the shift I had to stay late because I wasn't done with the display and it pissed my manager off. The next day the managers were wanting us to write down what we do during our shift and the time frames we do it on index cards to help with our time management.

I used up about 5 index cards for my 8 hour shift.

5:00 clock in 5:01 walk to locker and put things away 5:02 walk to photo booth

alll up until my shift was over. Every minute accounted for and the managers never bitched at me for time management again.

10. I don't know how to ride a bike. I know the logistics, but once the training wheels came off for me that was it.

@witchboywitchboywitchboy @xninetiestrendx @vintagelacerosette @trans-alpha-male @suzy-queued @ian-galagher

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss Game Hiatuses?

I want to preface this enter post with the comment that I am absolutely not saying "Oh, if you're not enjoying SSO, you should just leave the community." That's a bad argument used against criticism that I do not promote. However, I am going to talk about how if you're not enjoying SSO, why you should take a pause from playing.

I'm going to generally credit @centeris2 on this topic, because while I'm not using direct quotes (because private convos aren't exactly the style I want to use for Can We Discuss), we had a long conversation about this topic and she made a lot of good points for this that I wanted to discuss. Some of these points are based on her opinions, a lot of out thoughts blurred together so it's hard to directly credit, and she gave me the ok to talk about it and use her thoughts.

In any case, let's start with the fact that it is perfectly normally to like something and still drop it for years at a time, or to not directly engage with it. For instance, I adore the Legend of Zelda franchise (were it not obvious from my recent to be rescheduled event), but I haven't personally picked up a LOZ game for a year-ish now when I replayed Minish Cap. That doesn't revoke my LOZ fan card, that's a perfectly normal thing to do. Most of you will have done this throughout your life, more and more recognizably as you get older.

This however can get blurred by fandom. It is very often that folks with hyperfixations on a thing, who may or may not engage with something more regularly than other media, will get involved in fandom and make a lot of content for that fandom. These people can produce loads of content on a piece of media and this can fuel a community, even if the rest of the community isn't actively engaging with that media. It also doesn't specifically mean that people with hyperfixations are constantly engaging with that media. Going back to that LOZ example, I wrote LOZ fanfic for years without actively playing more than one LOZ game maybe a year or two. Content can be queued, be entirely original outside of the media, and still last a long time and engage with the fandom at large.

The point is to say, even if you make content and enjoy a piece of media, you don't have to actually be playing/reading/listening/watching it constantly. In fact, normally modern fandom culture makes that pretty easy to do, though it can sometimes make us feel like we're still engaging directly with the media even if we're technically not. But it's good to take a step back and acknowledge that. A lot of younger fans in fandom have a hard time with this, which is why I'm taking the time to point it out. A lot of young fans will hyperengage in a fandom because they want to be involved in this fandom they love, only to burn themselves out and be turned away by their frustration. It's important then to acknowledge this scenario to encourage better, healthier involvement with fandom. Still, in this situation, you can easily bow out of a fandom if you need to take a break and then come back when something new happens in it, like a new release or update. This may feel like a fandom "dies" when a piece of media ends, but for active media, it's a normal and healthy thing to do.

SSO on the other hand does not encourage the ability for people to take a break, or at least it does it at the detriment of the player. Because of the weekly updates, players are constantly checking for the chance that there is something interesting coming out. This is somewhat addressed by the monthly roadmaps the team has been putting out, but that also just extends the period of time people are waiting for news and they're still staying in the release cycle for more clarification. For instance, we know Silverglade Village is getting an update at the end of the month, but knowing SSO's release cycle, are they going to tease some more of the changes? Are they going to reveal how wide the area of update is going to be? Will any NPCs get updates with it? This is still in the weekly cycle and it keeps players from building up actual suspense for updates if we know when content is coming out. It also takes away a lot of suspense when the content isn't main content, like new areas or story. While the suspense for the Fripp quests I would say were quite large, I wouldn't say that any of the other updates have shared the same attention. This is why most companies will release roadmaps for quarters or for a year.

And this isn't to say that SSE as a company shouldn't be releasing media content weekly, they should. That's good social media. But there are ways to engage with fans that don't drag out a reliance to engage weekly, things like community contests, highlighting fans, or promoting fanmade content. But when every update is super in the eyes of social media, fatigue and apathy are going to start to kill actual excitement unless it's something major.

I don't think it's a secret that I think the weekly updates aren't good for the game on the development side. I think it creates a pseudo-crunch culture on the developers so that they can't work on larger projects that players are asking for, like an engine overhaul (it took FFXIV two years to do theirs, when are the devs supposed to have time on SSO to switch now). But, I also don't think it's good for the players. Yes, there's something every week, but how are players actually engaging each week and how much time can we build up anticipation or get excited when each week that gets diffused by something that's not super exciting the majority of other weeks? Which doesn't mean that that content is bad, but it clearly builds frustration in the community to have "filler" content. When's the next story quests, when's the next map expansion, when's the next major mechanic being added, etc. We're constantly discussing the next big thing and then finding reasons to be excited in the meantime. This does not spark joy.

But in order to take a break, either you need to be on top of your Stable Care (likely to pull you back in), or just stop caring about your horses while you're away (unlikely considering the horse girl is strong in this community). The first requires Star Coins, which is arguably saying "You have to pay real money to take a break," and the second is actively punishing you mechanically for not being committed to playing. Neither of those allow the player to take healthy, normal breaks from the community to engage in other things. And that's an issue.

Yes, MMOs need regular engagement. Active servers and participation are a part of what makes them more marketable. But there are ways to do that without penalizing players. And I'm not suggesting that the care system needs to be entirely removed, but it does need to be entirely reworked so players can leave the game without coming back penalized. Things like the care system not affecting stats, but increasing your RNG for finding doubles of crafting items, or doubling your shilling rewards from dailies. WoW's inn system rewards players for taking breaks by double your exp gain longer depending on how long you were away. Others like Guild Wars 2 will give you log in rewards that build up to bigger prizes over time. There are ways to do this.

And I understand that a lot of folks like the current care system because it's realistic. But there has to be a line in game development where enjoyment in a game is prioritized over the realism of the game, not to mention the health of the player. Yes, the daily care system is more realistic, but if it is developing an obsessive habit of play to enjoy content that is, realistically, months to years down the line, that's not good for the player and should be changed so players can break from the game without coming back to punished controls. There are better systems that can still be realistic, things like crafting feed schedules to recover health boosts faster instead of having to see the vet, increasing how often the mood goes up so it doesn't take a whole week, changing it so when taking a horse for a ride the mood will increase every 10 or so minutes by engaging with a horse you like. Rewarding players for getting on and playing the game instead of making them dread missing when they should be coming back with excitement for the game.

All of that said, I want to encourage all of you to play more games where you can. I know there are system limitations, restricted budgets, and sometimes regional limits because of limited languages or just straight regionlocks. But in the same way reading makes you a better reader and writer, gaming makes you a better gamer (and developer/designer if you go that route). It helps you identify what you like in games and in the same way that reading other things makes coming back to your favorite all that much better, so does playing other games. I'm going to reblog this in a bit with some games I'd recommend with links to Steam and Epic and I'd encourage you all to do the same.

The takeaway I hope to give is that it's normal and healthy to take a break from games. You can still engage with media without directly engaging with it through fandom. SSE can do more to not penalize players for wanting to take a break, and should. And where you can, you should play more games and break for the health of your relationship with a piece of media you like.

[nobody-knose--archive]

so guess who bought complete demos today on a whim

yeah i wasn’t expecting this one to be over as quickly as it was either. have your liveblog

-complete demos. i bought it today & already forgot the tracklist. listening to it on the mp3 player i got for hmcrmshcidshdamsth because why not. makes pausing/typing easier that's why

-who the heck just coughed

-good lord the mixing is. and boy that's steve drumming isn't it. wow

-i mean we've got the stereo panning just like ever but this is incredibly rough. they are true babies aren't they

-oh those flutes are amazing what the hell. can people stop yelling in my individual ears

-and there's the rough megaphone. it's so incredibly clear that these aren't studio recordings but like. still tally hall!

-i think i'm finding many of these a little too funny but gotdam you're pitchbending your own voice do you really expect that to not sound so goofy at such a high pitch

-oh we're not slowing down at all, this is the same tempo as before for sure

-the flipping around audio channels is very not good at all when it comes to disguising the cuts between takes

-a sculptor you say? (is that one in the later versions? i don't remember it at all)

-nothing but rob's voices in the background and maybe 1 or two from red. no ross bits whatsoever. that's wild

-quick move into the greener intro and even quicker movement into greener itself

-well those are extra harmonies. interesting that they removed them for later versions because they're not bad, maybe a little out of place though

-honestly the biggest difference in steve vs ross drumming seems to be more a difference in the quality of the drums themselves. or the recording software but that applies to everything in this album

-it's painfully obvious that everything was recorded in really different circumstances & not mixed professionally and yep. complete demos alright. not inaccurately named in the slightest

-reminds me of the beta versions of g&e songs we heard live before they appeared on the album, makes me wonder if we could've gotten an admittedly complete demos for g&e somehow

-anyway these little different synths-

-hello there rob. alternate bridge. i have remembered this is a thing. something about tissues? a shoulder to cry on? cool

-yeah the little different synths do capture my attention from time to time

-and a basic piano for the outro? huh. sure gives it a different tone alright

-hm? who's that right at the end there- ooh! wtth time! and this still has steve in it doesn't it?

-generally more enthusiasm when it comes to that T, wonder what lost him attention in later years

-boy is that beatboxing weirdly mixed.

-lawn

-well this chorus is actually rather snazzy. the vocals seem better mixed than anything else i've heard in this album

-"who's to blame?" that's like the 4th time now i've heard someone's random voice that i can't recognize. ...it couldn't be steve, could it? i am now aware i have absolutely no clue what his voice sounds like but that seems like it could fit. hm

-zubin sounds really unenthusiastic here. just faintly unenthusiastic all over the place. still sounds more like "badiggle" than anything else

-oh shit they're falling down a well

-red's bit is hella unchanged other than the direct invasion of my individual ears & extra megaphone useage (i really wish the megaphone became more of a tally icon than it did but that's neither here nor there)

-it's rather more barebones though. less andrew keys in general. the calliope-reminiscent synth he uses is different i suppose.

-they did more stuff with funny crowd voices i think i've noticed. playing around with falsetto, as a college band dude might do

-ok yeah steve is a worse drummer. don't ask me what made me change my mind but i did

-wow a crowd that can consistently clap on the 1-2-3-4? how utterly unrealistic

-no wonky wild & weird intro to taken for a ride because i don't think it's on this album. understandable, i can't imagine what sort of wild hell the vocoder would be if it was attempted this early in its lifespan

-1st 2 piano chords of just apathy has me thinking of i know your name (deporitaz ver.) which is certainly as good a start to a song as any

-extended piano intro has me thinking of the ending of mold en mono but nope here's rob's voice to completely knock that impression out of the water

-ohoho? rob cantor swearing momence? i hadn't realized there'd be this many lyric changes

-interestingly enough this track doesn't seem horrendously mixed so far- nevermind that guitar/piano together is way too loud

-the guitar itself does have a pretty cool unique sound. obviously they hadn't had any access to string instruments at this point so given that those're the main thing separating this song from your average sade rock ballad there aren't a whole lot of notable differences here other than said guitar

-very different tone to this lil bridge. faintly reminiscent of weezer but it's not like i know anything about weezer

-sounds like the same synth from wtth being used in the bg there. what, did they have just that limited a selection so as to need repetition that frequently, or did they really like how it sounds? hard to tell with 200 (uhhhh) 4 college band dudes

-and right into two wuv. yes i had heard there's no haiku in this one but i forget what else will be missing. not sure if anything else will other than hidden in the sand. they would have ruler of everything, right? and a track that appears here but not any other albums? something like that i think

-more of that piano in the bg and more of mildly unenthusiastic zubin singing. different melody for said singing but it's not much of a secret that these guys were more untrained vocalists at this time

- .subsides?

-this chorus sounds significantly more laid-back than the later version

-the extra piano part sure moves this piece way further away from "rock love song" & way closer to "andrew horowitz song", especially that lil flourish where a bee buzzing might otherwise be

-ooh! andrew! he speaks! so does zubin! this song's two olsen boys coming in for a weird bridge bit! hell yeah oh this is adorable

-"because there's 2 of them :}"

-hm. are they actually just removing various parts because they don't have the technological capabilities to do a straight fadeout here? got dam

-i suppose letting zubin do a final solo-ish cadence works too

-uh- say it ain't so‽ w. no this is stationary love, the song that appeared here & nowhere else. cool, cool. strange but cool i guess

-i guess that can explain the multitude of weezer comparisons made for these lads. it's certainly there. honestly andrew was the only thing keeping them from being true weezer successors

-pure acoustic guitar thus far. this is my first time hearing this song of course & it seems like a pretty typical rob "homophonic heterophobic" cantor song

-nothing but acoustic guitar. nothing but rob vocals. nothing but alloromanticism. guess what! it's not my cup of tea! however i can't help but think if this song was worked on more, fixed up a la either mmmm release, with some more andrew/red touches, i could enjoy it some more

-not even any drumming. the simplicity could easily explain why it wasn't played live very often at all

-so the next thing i expect is some very funky & very weird spring and a storm which should highlight steve's (worse) drumming more than anything else i'm sure

-nevermind banana man's just getting slapped directly in here out of order compared to the later mmmm releases. this version i have indeed heard before because it's the version used in the music video

-therefore i have very little to say about it i haven't said on any of the other banana men. or other tracks on this album. the intrusions of vocal harmonies seem jarring because they're not mixed professionally, an effect that's only enhanced by the stereo panning & intense reverb

-this song really didn't change all that much over its lifespan, did it? vocal flairs were redone, but relatively few harmonies were added/removed, i don't think things like the bridge(s) were modified severely. not as noticeably as any of the other songs, at the very least

-i'm pretty sure i can hear andrew's voice in there but beyond that this is severely unsettling

-back to the chorus wahoo. relievingly  familiar territory

-get out of my left ear hawaiian guitar- wait a minute are my earbuds on wrong

-no i'm good

-oh holy shit i forgot this had to be somewhere didn't it‽ i know it's just the same! ok ok

-i've heard this one but only because i had no idea it was from complete demos, it's like rather polished too so i had never considered it would be on an unpolished album like this. i also had no idea that was goddam steve drumming in there too hot damn

-and this is the only recording of it‽ that's wild i always thought it was redone at some point & just kinda. manifested in one of the vague ways miscellaneous high quality tally hall songs do

-it's another romance one but the guitar arpeggios and extra layers give it a pass in my book. man i should watch the music video for it shouldn't i

-i still think it's utterly wild how tally hall played this at an actual high school's homecoming once. wouldn't that just blow your mind

-there's not a major difference between how it's performed here & what i've heard of it in from the occasional live performance, which is making me realize i should watch more live performances of this song

-angstier prequel to hidden in the sand

-or sidequel maybe. depends really. we can tell whatever stories we like

-did my hidden in the sand sotry come out of the queue yet? i feel like i queued it a while ago but also like y'all would've said something if you'd seen it

-bit slow paced innit. much like everything else in this album, it would have gained much from a professional studio treatment, but its mixing & general quality is still surely the best out of everything i've heard so far

-working your falsetto there aren't you my dude? ooh boy

-ruler of everything.... so no spring & a storm? >{

-yeah. ok. weird glockenspiel. almost sounds like a music box

-no vocoding either! i just realized that's a thing here! curious. and... those are some heavily wonky sfx in the background

-who's singing those aaaaas anyway? it's not a chorus which i thought could surely be handled and there's really minimal reverb too; strange considering not only is reverb a jh trademark but easily doable here

-the piano synth used is mostly identical to the 05 mmmm- oh holy shit there's different lyrics & they're being beamed directly into my skull

-even more nonsensical & it's because you can hear them hella easily too. that backwards segment did not need to go on as long as it did. also

-so no zubin vocals? >{

-slapping 5 billion vocal effects on doesn't make up for a lack of the best singer in this damn band

-especially because he sounds reminiscent of goddam fred. being fred before fred was even a thing. oh how accursed

-quiet down your guitars when you're singing shouting through a megaphone if you please

-and there's the earstrain-ass reverb + vocoding on the flibbity jibber jabber reprise. i feared as much would happen. doesn't sound horrible i just need to turn down the volume on my mp3 player

-honestly thing whole thing isn't bad at all in the sense that it's mostly just strongly different from the later versions & lacks zubin

-lease stop yelling though my dude schwiggling your voice like that isn't always a good thing at high volumes

-is that the end? are we.... at the end? i heard that's the name of some song from like sketches or something

-no. how silly of me to assume as much. anyway my dude needs to fix up his ukulele this one sounds like shit

-no vocal effects makes me realize how few times we got this one live-

-now what would you call a wonky little transition like that? puts a smile on my face, even if it does take me by surprise at the same time

-but at least one of the times this was done live featured casey shea

-now for the love of god i already hate the ending of something glowing (view-monster) for its weird-ass asmr finale don't reverse someone's cough & twiddle your ukulele strings directly into my right ear to end an otherwise really nice version of hidden in the sand if you please. oh mama mia. good night

[maybemarvelbaby]

The Hit Girl (II)

Part 1

A/N: Oh my gosh, thank you guys so much! I got so much support on my last chapter of THG, and it seems y’all are really excited for it. I even got someone asking for a tag list. Anyways.. thank you so much, Enjoy! <3

Taglist:

@viarogers 

Pairings: mentor!Natasha Romanoff x mentee!Reader; Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: dark themes, death, loss of loved ones, violence, guns, just a pretty sad time for (Y/N)

Notice: You can message me to be on my tag list, and use the hashtag “#the hit girl series” if you want to give me feedback/ ideas. Please only use the hashtag for series related things, thank you, Enjoy! <3

The training that you had to endure was ruthless, difficult, yet still not as bad as the Red Room. In fact, you might even say that you enjoyed this training. You never truly wanted to kill any of the other girls, but something in their eyes told you if you didn’t, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill you. Except for one girl. 

•──────✧✦✧──────•

Her name was Nadia Makarov. She was only seven when you met her, you were seventeen. As the ‘queen’ of the Red Room, you granted her special protection against nearly every other girl, they knew if the killed her in a sparring match, then they would die at your hands in an even more brutal and painful way. You took the role of a big sister/ caretaker for Nadia, and it was clear that she loved you. No matter how much you would deny it, you did truly love her. It seemed the instructors of the Red Room had noticed the connection between you and Nadia, because one day, they put both of you in the ring. The match lasted nearly twenty-four hours. You did not want to kill Nadia, you physically couldn’t. You did nothing. Giving her every opportunity to kill you, but she refused. After several hours of you screaming at her to just kill you already, the instructors became fed up with you and the little girl’s shenanigans, so they brought in weapons. The two of you were given handguns and had 2 hours for one to die otherwise you would both be killed. By the time that there were two minutes left on the clock, Nadia stared you straight in the eyes, before lifting up her gun to your head. You smiled lightly, accepting your fate and closing your eyes. You were content with dying in the hands of your loved one.

Bang

One simple shot, but you didn’t feel a thing. Your knees slumped to the ground and you sat in the ring, your eyes squeezed shut, knowing what you would see if you opened them. Nadia had shot herself so you could live. You brought your own gun to your head and tried to pull the trigger, but your gun was empty. It was almost as if the instructors knew what Nadia would do and how you would react. You opened your eyes to see the pale, lifeless body of your little sister. Her wavy, brown hair caked with her own blood. You crawled over to her side and laid her head in your lap. Tears streamed out of your (e/c) eyes as they gazed upon her lifeless, sky blue ones. You knew that she would want you to live, so you vowed to yourself that her death was not in vain. You promised her, as she lay there, lifeless on the floor, that you would never lose a match because you couldn’t afford another loss like Nadia.

•──────✧✦✧──────•

“(Y/N), heads up. You’re next!” Natasha’s words knocked you from your thoughts, you felt your eyes stinging and hot, silent tears were streaming down your face. It seemed Natasha had noticed your expression because she jumped out of the sparring ring and rushed to where you sat straight up on the bench. “Everything okay, маленький (little one)?” She asked you asked she placed a hand on your shoulder. You flinched at the affectionate name that you once called your little sister, before coughing and wiping the tears from your eyes. You stood up and gazed at the woman with eyes void of any emotion.

“Yes, Miss Romanoff, I’m alright.” You responded to her concerns, not wanting to think about it anymore. She nodded in understanding and brought you to the ring where you were going to spar against Clint.

He smiled at you mischievously, “You know, you’ve beaten nearly everyone in the complex, so you know I’m not gonna go easy on you.” He stated, a confident smirk drawn on his face.

“I know.” You replied simply. Once Natasha queued the match to start, you had Clint pinned on the ground, both hands behind his back, your knee trapping his legs to the ground, and his face buried into the ground.

“I yield, I yield!” Clint yelled as you smirk lightly to yourself at your new win.

“I thought you weren’t going to go easy on me.” You teased him as you let go of his hands and helped him up.

“I wasn’t...” He scoffed rubbing a hand over his face in defeat.

“Better luck next time, old man.” You said, before jumping out of the ring. Natasha walked up to you and put an arm around your shoulder, muttering a good job to you and you made your way back to the bench to get a sip of water. You thanked her, excused yourself from training, and headed back to your room.

•──────✧✦✧──────•

You laughed lightly at the piece of paper that was stuck to your door.

Sapphire Shadow 

Kobalt Killer

Black Widow Jr.

Blue Widow

Tiny Mighty

And other names were scribbled onto the paper written in various blue inks. You knew the last one was Sam’s idea and you immediately crossed it out. You grabbed a pen and crossed out the ones you didn’t like, such as Black Widow Jr. and Tiny Mighty, while circling the ones you did like, Sapphire Shadow and Kobalt Killer being some of the ones do did enjoy. When you reached the end of the list, one name, in particular, stood out to you.

Nova Storm

You traced your fingers over the letters that were so delicately written on the page, you knew that only two people could have written that, Wanda or Natasha, simply by the neat handwriting. But you could tell exactly who wrote that name, it was Natasha.

The two simple words pulled at your heartstrings as you recalled the memories. 

“Hey, Supernova!” The pale-skinned girl called, “Be careful on your mission!”

“Don’t worry Stormie, I’ll come back to you.”

Hot tears streamed down you face for the second time and you fell on your bed. You lifted the paper to examine the words again, knowing exactly who you were going to be. You grabbed a small sheet of blank paper from off the desk that sat by your bed. In your best calligraphy, you wrote the name you decided on with a royal blue ink. When it was finished, you lined it up, directly under the nametag on your door that said ‘(Y/N) Chernov’. A soft smile left your lips as a single tear streamed down your face.

“You got a name, I see.” A voice sounded from behind you, “Nova Storm, I like it. Wonder who could’ve suggested it?”

You laughed at your mentor’s lighthearted sarcasm before surprising her with a tight hug and a quiet ‘thank you’. She hugged back hesitantly, before relaxing. This was the first time you had shown any emotion to her since two days ago when you got drunk because Thor said you couldn’t handle his Asgardian mead. 

You pulled away quickly and coughed to yourself, fixing your hair and ridding all emotions that may have been displayed on your face. “Thank you, Miss Romanoff. I like the name.” 

She smiled at you gently, “It’s no problem, маленький, I’m glad you like it. Now come on, Tony has someone you need to meet.” She said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and guiding you down the hall. 

•──────✧✦✧──────•

The two of you soon entered the main living space and you saw Tony talking to a young boy that seemed to be about eighteen to nineteen years old, somewhere around your age. His honey-glazed, brown eyes noticed your arrival and he ran a hand through his curly brown locks.

“H-Hi... I’m uh... I’m Parker Peter... Peter Parker, sorry, my name is Peter Parker.” He stuttered, extending a hand. You gave away no emotion, even though you wanted to giggle at his flustered expression. 

“(Y/N) Chernov.” You stated plainly. Ignoring his outstretched hand and Natasha’s looks that practically screamed at you to ‘be nice’. Peter drew his hand back and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Ahh, (Y/N), I see you’ve met my little friend, Peter. You two are around the same age. I thought it would be nice if you had someone your age to talk to and show you what a normal teenager acts like.” Tony said, before grabbing your arm, pulling you towards him, and leaning down to whisper in your ear, “Listen girly, I’m quite fond of this kid, so I’d like it if he stayed in one piece.” You nodded in understanding and he smiled, letting go of your arm. 

“Oh, Tony, we have a name,” Natasha told her friend. Tony’s already smiling face lit up even more in excitement and the skin around his eyes crinkled. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.! Get all the Avengers in here now!!” He practically squealed at his AI.

“Yes, sir. All Avengers report to the main living room at this time please.” The robot responded. About two minutes later, you heard fast footsteps running across the floors. All of the Avengers stumbled into the room and looked at you with hopeful eyes. They had been waiting for almost a month for you to finally decide on a name. Excited faces examined you as you shifted nervously on your feet. You looked at Natasha pleadingly, and she understood, speaking up for you. 

“The day has finally come where (Y/N) has decided her name. Before I reveal it, I’m only gonna say this once, none of you better get upset because she didn’t pick your name. The name she chose has a special meaning to her, and she will share it’s origins when she is ready,” Natasha began, everyone nodded in agreement, “Her name is Nova Storm.”

You were immediately reminded of the memories that tied you to this name and you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes before you choked them back down. You caught Wanda’s gentle, loving gaze and knew she read your mind. A single tear slipped from her eye and she walked up to hug you comfortingly. 

“It’s perfect,” The young woman started, “She would have loved it.” You couldn’t hold back anymore and you hugged her back, tears streaming down your face as you buried your head into her shoulder with silent sobs. You two parted and you wiped the tear from your face. Natasha held you into a side hug.

“Let’s go Nova Storm!” Bucky yelled the rest of the Avengers began cheering. You smiled and they cheered louder, it was always a treat when you smiled. You didn’t do it often, but when you did, it made them feel like kids in the store whose parents just said that they could pick out a piece of candy.

•──────✧✦✧──────•

After everyone was dismissed, you plopped yourself onto the couch, kicking your legs up on the coffee table and closing your eyes. You felt the couch cushion beside you drop as someone’s weight was pressed upon it. You opened a single eye to see who sat beside you. I little swarm of butterflies tickled your stomach as you noticed Peter’s fluffy, brown curls.

“If you don’t mind me asking... um... uh... c-can I know the... uh... the importance of your name?” He asked quietly, a polite and nervous smile appearing on his lips. A single tear fell from your eyes and you laughed lightly at his nervousness. You didn’t know why you trusted the boy so much, but you did. You felt comfortable and nervous at the same time when he was around. And, before you knew it, you were telling him all about the things you and Nadia did together. The mini-adventures around the Red Room, Nadia helping you with ballet (she was a natural, and you were not), the bond you shared, even till her inevitable demise. 

Peter sat with you for hours, laughing at the fun parts, crying at the sad. He even opened up to you and told you all about his Uncle Ben and Aunt May. The two of you grew close and you could feel a bond beginning to form between the two of you. 

It scared you, to say the least, and as soon as you began to crave his touch, you excused yourself and locked yourself in your bedroom. You couldn't risk creating a bond only to lose the person again. No matter how much you wanted to stay and talk to Peter, you couldn’t let yourself get attached to him.

•──────✧✦✧──────•

It had been two weeks since your name was revealed, and it was the last time you had spoken with Peter. You avoided him in every way you could, ignoring his constant pleas, asking you what he did wrong. It broke your heart to see the boy so torn up about you, but you knew that if you got attached to him, he would be as good as dead. Something in your gut told you that not everyone in the Red Room died that day. Part of you knew that they were looking for you, and you had to keep everyone safe. 

You grew distant, not only to Peter but to everyone in the complex. You spent your days either locked in your room or training by yourself. Natasha noticed your strange behaviour and began to worry.

“(Y/N)... we need to talk.” She said one day, walking into your room without warning and closing the door behind her. Yet, you didn’t say a word. “You’ve been distant, маленький. Everyone is worried about you.” The tears began to well up in your eyes at the affectionate nickname. “Please, let me know what’s wrong.” Natasha’s sad expression and begging broke you.

“I-I’m sorry, Miss Romanoff... I’m... I can’t... I don’t want to lose any of you. I cannot have another Nadia...” You started, unable to keep the salty tears from running down your face, “They day she died, I was broken. She was the only person I ever loved and she’s gone. I had nothing.” You grew quiet and gazed at the woman’s face. A few tears had slipped from her eyes as well. She sat on the bed next to you and put a hand on your back.

“You know, I was like you. I used to have nothing, and then I got this family.” She began, rubbing slow circles over your back muscles, comforting you, “Everyone in this family has lost something, that’s what makes us so close. We are all there for each other, and we can be there for you too, you just have to let us in.”

For the first time since Nadia’s death, you bawled, burning hot tears streaming down your face, shaking sobs erupting from your body, hundred of ‘I’m sorry’s leaving your lips. Natasha hugged you comfortingly. You fell asleep in her embrace and she laid you back on your bed. 

“Sleep tight, маленький.”

•──────✧✦✧──────•

[carleencl]

DAY6 Gravity Tour in Manila

Second time around, my favorite band, DAY6 came to Manila to have another sold out concert. Yes, another one since 1st Youth Concert was also sold out which was held in Kia Theater. 

November 23, 2019 - the day all MyDays have been waiting for again. DAY6′s Gravity Tour in Manila was held in Araneta Coliseum, having approximately 9,000 attendees that started at 5:30 in the afternoon.

This concert was very “intense” but memorable for us due to our experience before, during, and after the concert. You may click read more to know the experience I am talking about.

Pre-Concert

Announcement of ticketing day, me and my friends planned ways to grab our desired tickets. We were already planning to get the Royalty Package ticket since seeing DAY6 and the inclusion of the package itself was worth it. Unfortunately, during the selling day, the ticketing site keeps on either lagging, getting errors, and even saying all seats were unavailable! We were also in line in one of their physical ticketing sites, and their system was down and offline. Luckily, we still got tickets which was VIP Standing C.

Since attendees of the concert were offered a discounted rate to stay at Novotel, we grabbed the promo instantly! It was because remembering how exhausted (in a very happy way) from last year’s DAY6 concert we felt was. We were in standing area that time and it felt like so dragging to walk from Kia Theater then to find a place to have dinner and go our rented AirBnB. Thus, grabbing the Novotel discount promo.

Concert Day: Hours Before

Since we were in Standing C, a queuing number was given to have an organized line up before entering the venue. We were asked to be in line on or before 2:45PM or else, our queuing number will be forfeited. Since we are just staying at Novotel, we were planning to go in line at around 2:30PM.

2:15PM - my friend, Lizette, asked me to check Happee Sy’s twitter and hold and behold: THERE WAS STILL 15 ROYALTY STANDING A/B THAT WERE UNCLAIMED. In an instant, I told my other friends and we grabbed all our stuff as quickly as possible. Waiting for the hotel elevator feels like years in the waiting. Once we were in the lobby, we split into pairs: 1 going in line for VIP Standing C and 1 rushing to the ticketing booth. We were still unsure if we were able to get the Royalty ticket thus having that back-up of needing still line up for the VIP Standing C.

With my other friend, Ria and I were rushing to the ticketing booth to try to get those tickets. Once we arrived, there MyDays already lining up to get the tickets. I was nervous that time if we would be able to get 4 tickets for the upgrade due the limited quantity available. I was counting the person in front of us if we will be able to make the cut - and we did! I was so nervous, happy, and excited that time. I couldn’t believe it that the ticket that we wanted since day 1 but failed to get during ticketing day, was able to have it during concert.

I called Lizette and Char afterwards and told them the good news and to meet them near the PULP Royalty Booth. We were such giddy fangirls while claiming our band for the Royalty, Hi Touch, and the version of album we would be able to get.

3:00PM - We were already lining up for Royalty Standing A then entering venue. I still can’t believe that we were able to get those tickets in the last minute! It was such a surreal moment for me.

CONCERT TIME

We were so excited and giddy that the stage was so close! It’s the first to be that up close to the artist that we support and dearly love.

Lights were all off except for our lightband.

An introduction video of DAY6 was shown and after, the 5 were on stage setting up their instruments.

Opening song was, “Best Part,” which was followed by “Sing Me,” and “I Wish.” Everyone was jumping and singing along with DAY6. The energy and shouting in the coliseum was so high and loud that I can’t even hear myself anymore.

I think Young K even shouted, “Manila, are you ready?”  which everyone screamed more.

Three songs done and energy was so high from MyDays!

JAE: “Manila!!! Oh my goodness.

One more time, are you ready to have a good night, Manila!!!?! I said it in the beginning and I’ll say it again, tonight will be a beautiful night if you wanted it to be. Just enjoy yourself! It doesn’t matter anyone thinks beside you, it doesn’t matter what’s going back home.. tonight is a beautiful night! We are going keep this energy straight! So let’s go!”

Next songs were: “Somehow,” and “Time of Our Life.”

MyDays became extra energetic upon hearing the latter song. Though I admit, it was a song that you could really jump up and down, enjoy and have the time of your life.

There was a ment after 2 songs.

JAE: “Before anything, we just want to introduced ourselves. You guys can take a break real quick, you can seat and reserved all the energy.”

WONPIL: “Hello! This is Wonpil.”

YOUNG K: “This is Young K and tonight is a festival! Salamat po!”

DOWOON: “Hi! This is Dowoon”

SUNGJIN: “Hi I’m Sungjin! Nice to meet you!”

JAE: “Hi everybody, let’s get it! I’m Jae! What a beautiful sight we have here today. Second show here today and it is so damn real in the arena. Thank you so much for having us. We are so blessed and honored to be with you. And you guys are sure waiting for us and we are also waiting to be back. We have a crazy set for you guys tonight. You guys ready for tonight? You guys ready to dance tonight? You guys ready to sing a little bit tonight? I love this energy guys. Just one promise, I know you its gotta get hot, gotta get tired. It’s gonna happen. Number one, stay safe. That’s the most important thing right?

Wow, this is such a big place. How you guys feel tonight?”

SUNGJIN: “It's good!”

DOWOON: “I’m a hamburger. I feel...happy”

WONPIL: “This spot.. this is crazy. I will see how long your energy will last until the end.”

YOUNG K: “Are you guys ready to sing with us? Can we hear your voices.. you beautiful voices!“

Next songs that they performed was “I’m Serious,” and “So Cool.” Every song that they sang was just so amazing! I’m really at awed watching them perform closer this time.

Dowoon had a solo and showed his drum skills! He was so amazing. He truly is the “drum”. 🤣

Young K was up for his solo. He played with his bass and showed us what real talent was. He looks so amazing while playing. 😍

After Dowoon and Young K’s solo, the band played: “Out of My Mind” and “Feeling Good.”

JAE: “Oh my goodness, guys! We just witness something amazing! We just had Young K and Dowoon do something. What was that?!

YOUNG K: “That was my bass, my bass!“

DOWOON: “Before, we solo to you. The bass is awesome”

YOUNG K: “You guys.. the drum, including Dowoon, the drum is perfect!

Becase you are perfect..”

DOWOON: “Yes, I’m perfect. No no noo”

MY DAYs: 😂 😂 😂

The 5 members went to the extended stage and I got a closer look at the boys! I was starstruck watching them perform. 🤩

Jae was so up close that I was just looking or even just staring at him the whole time. He’s my bias and seeing him that close while performing was another level of fangirling spazzing in me!! 😍

BEST. SPOT. EVER.

“How to Love” was the 1st song played in the extended stage.

It was Sungjin’s time to shine! His solo act was so amazziing!! Leader still impressing fans in 2019 💖

Afterwards, DAY6 performed “For Me,” and “Wanna Go Back.”

As they went back to the main stage, everyone was shouting: “Dowoon! Dowoon! Dowoon!” saying that he should sing again. So Dowoon turned back as if cheering for himself too, but eventually, he sang his line from “Wanna Go Back.”

They had 3 songs that they performed in a mash-up at the main stage.

1st mash-up was Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You” and their song, “Like That Sun.”

2nd is a mash-up between “Days Gone By" and "Treasure” by Bruno Mars.

I was actually expecting a full ‘Days Gone By’ performance since I really really do love that song (well, I love all their songs actually 😅)

Last one will be Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky" and their song, “Blood.”

Wonpil hyped the crowd more with his keyboard solo. 🎹

 Everyone was cheering and just staring at him. He said that he tried to change his solo a bit for the Manila concert which of course made all My Days cheered more for Wonpil.

Jae: “How do you like the last one? That was a mash up with “Blood. We got Daft Punk’s and mix it with our song. We have a lot of songs we haven’t played for a long time.

Do you guys remember the last time we played ‘Blood?’ It’s been a long time, trust me.”

“Colors “ was the next song.

The song gave an emotional feeling during their performance. You would just want to raise your lightbands and wave it.

Next song was “ I Need Somebody.“ Surely, every My Day was into the song and singing out our hearts out.

“I Wait” was next on their setlist that they performed.

It was another ment to talk to the fans again.

JAE: “Manila, it will be hotter than this. Is that okay though?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Manila, are you ready to go crazy?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Tonight is the night that I’m just happy that everyone just being, having their greatest time that they could possibly have.

Guys, we have arrived to the last stage.”

MY DAYs: “NOOOOOOOO”

JAE: “It’s crazy because we have been waiting so long, just like you waiting for us, we have been waiting so long to be back soon. Going crazy and having fun, it passed so quickly by the way..”

MY DAYs: “Walang uuwi! Walang uuwi! Walang uuwi!”

JAE: “We appreciate it cause you guys with all the energy just been amazing and so fun tonight. And because of it we have been able to play for the last stage. We love and appreciate you so much but all things comes to an end.”

MY DAYs: “NOOOOOOOO”

JAE: “But, but..for now, let’s start officially. Wonpil looks like you’re crazy tonight. How was it? It is good?��

WONPIL: “I think you guys are having more fun than us. So we would be great to go back with all the energy we received from you guys. So we have a few songs left, and I hope you guys enjoy until the end.”

JAE: “Wonpil said ‘You can do it friends! Thank you guys for having us today. This will be gonna our last stage and the next song is very dear to us, so I hope you guys enjoy it. Let’s go crazy! Can you guys sing one more time for us?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Okay, let’s go ‘Sweet Chaos!’

And with the ment ended, DAY6 performed “Sweet Chaos.”

“Sweet Chaos” - who wouldn’t be pumped up with this song? You would just sing a long with them at the top of your lungs with this song.

DAY6′s next stage was “Headache”

I just love how DAY6 can perform from emotional soulful songs to energetic hyped songs.

The hyung was up next to perform his solo. Jae doing amazing with his skills. 😍

Each member is just so amaaaaazing!!! STAN. DAY6.

“WARNING” was the next song followed with “Shoot Me.”

The crowd just keeps being hyper and hyper by the song.

Now, who wouldn’t be super hyped up with this song? You would just want to shout “SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME�� hoping that no one really shoots you. 😅🤣

DAY6 went out of the stage and showed a VCR.

After the VCR, DAY6 were back and performed another 3 songs: “Cover,” “You Were Beautiful,” and “Congratulations.”

During this time everyone’s phone flashlight was on and the seeing the crowd was amazingly beautiful. 😭😭😭

“You Were Beautiful” was just.. 😭😭😭 DAY6′s songs will make you feel that you were in a break up even though you are not. 😅

Ahh this stage, “Congratulations,” will always be precious as fans sing the song and DAY6 plays the instruments. 💖

Next up was the highlight of My Days for DAY6. One of the fanproject of a VCR for DAY6.

JAE: (not aware of the playing VCR) “You look beautiful tonight. Look around you right now.

MY DAYs: *saying and pointing Jae the VCR*

YOUNG K: “Look behind you Jae!“

Below is the full fanproject VCR from MyDaysPH.

The VCR was just so touching and true. 😭 Personally, whenever I feel down or something that’s bothering me and can’t get it out of my mind, I just listen to their songs and I’ll feel a little better. 😭

JAE: “Wow! Wow, what was that? Woooow! The reason you guys are beautiful.”

WONPIL: “This is really touching This is crazy.”

JAE: “Guys I think, we are always fighting things. Thank you for being our beautiful reason to continue our music. You know, it is not.. it is never easy. Life should not be that easy but.. everyone has a reason and I’m so glad that we are able to be each other’s reason. This is amazing.

Okay, before it gets to deep. We would just go down one by one and tell you how we felt today.”

All the next things that they said made us all cry, for real! 😭 😭 😭

WONPIL: "I think this is really awesome. When did you guys prepare this? It was really awesome. First of all, it's our 2nd time here and thank you guys for so many of you came tonight to have fun with us. Watching the video, I realized how busy you guys are, also how many hard things you guys go through and I'm so happy that we are, even if it's a small bit, we become your reason for your living. This video is really crazy.

So even us, we are same humans so we also go though difficult things. As we are your reason also, you guys are also our reason.

Thank you guys so much and I don't think I'll be able to forget Manila. You guys are crazy. So we will really promise, we will comeback. We will make good music. Thank you guys so much for reminding us why we made this music and why we perform. Thank you guys so much! See you guys again!" 💖 💖 💖

DOWOON: "First of all this video, like what Wonpil Hyung said, 'It was really touching.'

Touching.. yes.. It's a very touching video, yeaah.

So like Wonpil Hyung said, since we are also humans, it's actually hard to.. Been watching the video you guys made, I saw that we have so much strength. Actually this moment, is like a reflective time for me looking how much we affect you guys and how much you guys love us. I realized how much I have to do better.

Ahh, your English very well. (saying to the translator)

Thank you guys for our good memories. Today is a present to us. You one by one are very important people. Please be healthy and eating well and we always love you guys. We will come back. Thank you!" 🥺🥺🥺💕

*No close up photo of YoungK since I was just looking at him at the stage instead of the screen. 😅

YOUNG K: "Please, give it up for Dowoon! So... Hi. How are you? You know it is great to be back and is all because of you guys. Thank you! Uhh, what is it.. Maraming Salamat? 

So.. by watching that video, it made me confirmed why we sing. 'Cause during the production of this album and even before that, and I wrote it thanks to you.. my personal thanks to you. It was really hard.. after a certain point it was really hard to find for the reason why we sing on the stage. 'Cause we are doing the same things over and over again and I wasn't do it for my parents, wasn't do it for the company, I wasn't.. you know. It wasn't a competition anymore. It's just.. I was looking for the reason why and there you go, you guys gave us the answer. Thank you very much.

And really, you guys said we are the reason but trust me, you guys are our motivation.. you guys our inspiration.. you guys are our reason to be on the stage. So thank you very much and until the next time we meet, we'll be this much fun again. Stay healthy and happy. Thank you very much!” 😭 ❤️

SUNGJIN: "Today.. so happy.. because of you guys. 'Cause you guys made me happy, always. I think always, you guys made me happy. Thank you so much.. really, really. I wanna tell you guys.. is awesome guys, okay? I trust you.

So you guys do whatever you wanna do. Thank you guys so much.

We.. so, study hard and work hard. And if we come back..so grown up. You guys know what I'm saying, right? Okay, thank you so much! See you soon!"💕💕💕

JAE: "Wow! First of all,  thank you guys so much because it is just amazing today. Just the energy today, thank you so much just coming to this journey with us and becoming one with us, and making this concert  with us.. so round of applause to yourselves. Thank you.

Kinda like what everyone else saying that.. that video makes us feel alive 'cause we do get stuck sometimes and we do take some time like doing certain things."

*starts to cry* 😭😭😭

DOWOON: "Jae! Jae Hyuuung! Jae! Jae Hyuuung! Don't cry."

MY DAYs: "Awww" 🥺🥺🥺

DOWOON: *starts singing a Christmas song*

SUNGJIN: "And soo..."

YOUNG K: "Make some noise for Jae!!"

DOWOON: "Don't cryyy" 🥺🥺

MY DAYs: "Uljima! Uljima! Uljima"

SUNGJIN: "No, no, no. More cry! More cry! More cry" 🤣🤣🤣

MY DAYs: "More cry! More cry! More cry!"

JAE: "You guys are lucky, man. No one ever sees me cry.."

MY DAYs: "Awww"

JAE: "Thank you. It's just like, life gets so hard sometimes. I'm really appreciative of the fact that we have you guys and you guys have us.. and that we could be each other's reason to continue it all...*sobs*" 😭😭😭

MY DAYs: "Awww"

SUNGJIN: "More cry! More cry! More cry" 🤣🤣🤣

MY DAYs: "More cry! More cry! More cry!"

JAE: "I never cry..I never cry. This never happened.  No one.. no, no.. no one will put this up on Twitter. Okay? Promise me, no one. Nobody.. no one. This never happened." 🤣🤣🤣

YOUNG K: "Everyone's gonna put it up." 😅😅😂

JAE: "Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my reason to continue to do my best. So thank you guys so much. Alright!"

YOUNG K: "Before your tears dried up, let's take a picture!"

JAE: "No no no!"

YOUNG K: "Come here! (to Jae)

Is it okay if we all take a picture together? And remember this moment!!"

MY DAYs: "YEEEESS!"

YOUNG K: "Jae, seat in the middle! Seat in the middle!"

JAE: "Noo,noo.

Okay, guys. We just want to take a picture, 2. One with the banner, and the second one, without.

Alright guys, we're gonna take a picture with the banner. 1, 2, 3!"

©️ JYP Entertainment & PULP

JAE: "Alright one more picture but we wanna get a little bit more closer."

YOUNG K: "Let's do one line in the middle. Is that okay, Jae?"

JAE: "Yeah, let’s do that!

And without the banner.. Everybody show your beautiful smile! Okay, alright. 1, 2, 3!

Thank you. Thank you very much!"

©️ JYP Entertainment & PULP

JAE: "Thank you so much, Manila. You guys have been amazing tonight. We hope that you guys are not tired 'cause we got a couple more songs for you. You guys are ready? We need you to go crazy! You got some energy left? Manila, are you tired yet?!

Okay so Young K want to talk to you real quick this time." 💙💙💙

YOUNG K: "Nooo, you do it this time!"

JAE: "Alright guys, we're gonna make this super quick and super simple. I just need you to ready up. You guys ready?

Left side, are you ready?

Right side, are you ready?

EVERYBODY MAKE SOME NOISE!!!

Dance, Dance let's go!"

DAY6 was back on the extended (closer again to us!). They performed “Dance Dance,” and “Freely.”

JAE WAS TOO CLOSE. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. 😱😱😱

YOUNG K TOO. 😭😭😭

SUNGJIN. WHYYYY 😭😭😭

All energy for DAY6! Pouring our hearts out to cheer and sing along with the best band eveeer! ❤️❤️❤️

The flying chicken during Freely. So who said, ‘Chickens can’t fly?’ Jae proved it wrong. 🤣

Due to Wonpil and Dowoon’s instruments, they weren’t able to go to our side. 😥 But I still enjoyed the concert, big time!!

Freely made a big impact as the last song for the Gravity concert. Everyone was just jumping!!

Wonpil crying! 😭😭😭

JAE: “Thank you so much ladies and gentlemen. It has been an absolute pleasure to be with you all this evening.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!”

YOUNG K: “Thank you Manila! You guys are the reason why we never given up! WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP!!

Thank you. Thank you guys! It was a wonderful night.”

SUNGJIN: “Manila! Thank you so much!”

YOUNG K: “Have a goodnight! You guys are wonderful! Beautiful!”

JAE: “Thank you so much!”

Thank you so much DAY6! You will always be worth the wait and be our beautiful reason. Hoping to see you again for the third time soon and more and more!  💙

HI-TOUCH

Behind this photo was a girl so giddy, and happy that was able to have an autographed album from not only one, but all five of them! 😍 Expecting to have one random member to sign the album but it turns out all of them signed it. 😭😭😭 Besides the signed abum was another memorable experience - the Hi Touch. The Hi Touch was a closer moment with them. I remember the first member to have Hi Touch with was Sungjin. He said thank you and I said thank you so much. I think that was the only words I could think of during the whole Hi Touch event and the only thing I said to each DAY6 member. Anyway, Sungjin really made an eye to eye contact giving a warm and friendly feeling. He gave a brotherly and friendly aura. Next was Jae, he wore his eyeglasses and bent a little for the hi touch cause he was so tall!! Jae squeezed my hand a little that made my fangirl heart crazy. Eye to eye contact again that really made my heart melt cause Jae got me once he got nearer to our area during the concert. Also I remember his smile, and we exchanged our thank you's. Next was Young K, and all fan accounts saying he will really look straight at your eyes as if remembering you was so right! I even realized it better why fox was his "avatar." Young K's Hi Touch was capturing my heart that time because of the intense eye to eye contact and of course, exchanging our thank you's. Dowoon, MyDays baby, was next! He was really a fluffball and a shy boy. I can't believe he's just a year younger but so adorable! Last was Wonpil, looking at him was mesmerizing like taking your breath away... literally. Wonpil will make you breathless just looking at you. Unfortunately, videos nor photos were not allowed. Thus, my words and encounter with them during that time shall be a living proof and be always remembered.  I was starstrucked from the 5 of them and they literally shoot my heart from the experience. A beautiful feeling to cherish and a reason to never give up in life as you said last November 23.

➡️ You may watch my vlog on Gravity in Manila last November 23, 2019 below. Parts of the video have muffled sound since I was unaware that I was covering the audio while holding my phone. 😅

You may lower or higher the volume of the audio and excuse my gibberish singing with DAY6. Hope you’ll enjoy watching it!

Also, don’t forget to like and subscribe to be updated on my future videos on K-pop concert and travels!

---

SETLIST

Best Part

Sing Me

I Wish

Somehow

Time of Our Life

I'm Serious

So Cool

Dowoon Solo

YoungK Solo

Out of My Mind

Feeling Good

How to Love

Sungjin Solo

For Me

Wanna Go Back

Shape of You (Ed Sheeran) + Like That Sun

Days Gone By + Treasure (Bruno Mars)

Get Lucky (Daft Punk) + Blood

Wonpil Solo *Ment

Colors

I Need Somebody

I Wait *Ment

Sweet Chaos

Headache

Jae Solo

WARNING

Shoot Me VCR

Cover

You Were Beautiful

Congratulations MyDay's Fan Project *Ment

Dance Dance

Freely

◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️

💌 CONNECT WITH ME ↪️ Facebook ↪️ Instagram     ↪️ Foodgram ↪️ Twitter ↪️ YouTube

[loverelatedvoodoo-blog]

Just for tonight.

As I sat there, quivering, unable to move my fingers from the pure anxiety that engulfed me. My Squad mates on the other end of the voice comm were just straight chillin.

For them, it was just business. For them, it was just the 10th match of the day. For them, it was just another victory royale. For the past 2 weeks, this was all they've done: Fortnite grinding.

I mean, it is winter break after all. It's the time of the year when the sun sets at 6pm (way too early), and the streets are off limits — just from the sheer ridiculousness of how much snow there is outside.

In suburban Maryland, there's nothing else to do but stay indoors and play video games; and what better game to play than the latest hot-topic shooter game that all the youngins are crazing over: Fortnite Battle Royale.

Everyone in the entire state of Maryland was playing Fortnite. Everyone except for me!

I wasn't like the other kids. I didn't like shooter games. I liked to play dating sims: dialogue-heavy simulations where you, the main character, is ridiculously likeable for no apparent reason. I liked how I was able to interact with people of the opposite sex — even if they were two-dimensional. I liked the attention they gave me, and how I was able to bend my fate and end up with the girl I liked by just answering a few multiple choice questions. It was easy and fun, and I liked the attention I was getting.

But it's been two weeks of non-stop dating sims. I've played through every game at least five times already. Am I really satisfied with being cooped up in my dimly lit room playing erotic visual novels by myself though? No. Not really. I didn't like being lonely.

It was then, when I decided I should "Squad Up"; interact with other kids my age — not with two-dimensional anime girls. I downloaded Fortnite Battle Royale on the Epic Games launcher. It took about 45 minutes to install. 45 minutes of pure excitement, only to be crushed by my mental incapacity. I didn't have enough motor skills to aim, shoot, and build at the same time. I've never felt so unfamiliar before. I grew up only knowing how to answer multiple choice questions from anime girls.

It was hard but, nevertheless, I got over it. I got over it and queued up for a four man, fight to the death, battle royale.

A quick thirty seconds passed, and there I was, with my three new friends: Buttsmacker69, xXSaiyanLordXx, and n00bSl@yer. 

"Where we droppin' boys?" I asked, attempting to fit in.

Silence.

"How about Tomato Town?" I asked again frantically searching for any sort of human interaction.

Nothing.

I was lost. I was being ignored, like in every other situation in my life. I was ready to call it quits; anime girls were the only people there for me. 

Until I realised that my mic was muted the entire time! My mood turned 180 degrees. I've never felt so alive. They weren't ignoring me. They actually were my friends. I quickly changed my sound and mic settings and held my microphone up to my mouth.

I asked loudly. Confidently.

"Where we droppin' boys? 😎"

"Uhhh, Idk, let's just drop tilted lol"

"Yeah that works"

"okay. dropping"

Red. Blue. Purple.

Pings started popping up on my mini-map.

A smile emerged from my face. 

I pinged as well.

Yellow.

There it was. My first human interaction in 6 months. My first interaction with my best friends: Buttsmacker69, xXSaiyanLordXx, and n00bSl@yer. 

We dropped at Tilted Towers. Buttsmacker69 landed on the roof mining away at the ceiling; xXSaiyanLordXx landed in the clock tower and picked up a golden Scar; n00bSl@yer managed to pick up a blue Tactical Shotgun and got first blood.

Then it was my turn. Enthusiastic and ready to get the second kill on the team, I landed in the convenience store. To my right I saw an SMG: perfect for close range combat. To my left, there was John Wick, unarmed. 

We both knew what each other wanted. I was closer to it, there was no way I would lose to John Wick.

Why wasn't I moving?

All I have to do is hold W and press E when I get to the SMG. 

Why wasn't I moving?

I looked away from the screen and towards my left hand. My keyboard hand. It was shaking. 

Why aren't you moving?

My hand felt further and further away from me the longer I stared at it. Why can I not control you? These were not my hands. 

These next five seconds that felt like a million years. I watched as John Wick slowly walked over to the SMG on my right. He turns around and looks dead straight at me. He saw the fear in my eyes. He saw that I was weak. Helpless. 

I never would've thought in a million years that watching John Wick do the Fortnite default dance emote would be so painful, but it was. It hurt. I was powerless. I was being "disrespected" and "styled on", and I couldn't do anything about it.

In a frame perfect transition from the default dance to neutral position, he shot me. I was down. I called for help, but he shot me again. 

Two minutes into the game, I was dead.

"I knew I shouldn't have queued up with randoms"

"Don't play squads if you suck"

"Holy shit, ur so bad"

They were talking about me. I suck. The people who I thought were my best friends turned against me. 

I took off my headphones and turned towards my wall. I looked at my favorite poster of Hatsune Miku: Winter 2018 edition. Miku chan would never turn against me. I loved Miku chan.

I didn't need human interactions. I didn't need Fortnite. Afterall, life is only so long, you shouldn't be wasting your time with people who aren't there to support you. The anime girls in the dating sims genuinely loved me, and I loved them. 

Am I satisfied with being cooped up in my room with my anime girls by my side? Yes. Yes, if it means that I receive love and affection. This is who I am, I don't need to fit in with pop culture to feel happy. I never felt anxious with my anime girls — I should've taken that as a sign. Being nervous on something like a first date is O.K., but being so anxious to the point where you lose control of yourself is not.

-Brian Feng, Jan. 2020

[doomedandstoned]

THE ROADBURN DIARIES

~By Willem Verhappen~

Photographs by Sally Townsend

Preface

When Billy asked me to review Roadburn Festival 2019 for Doomed & Stoned, I was a bit hesitant. Live reviews have never been my specialty and I prefer to enjoy shows instead of being critical. However, when he suggested a diary-style review, I got the idea to do just that; write a diary.

I went all out and paid a whopping two Euros and some change to buy a notebook. After four days of Roadburn, it will probably be as wrecked as I expect to be, but hopefully it will still be readable. [In hindsight it was money well spent, as the notebook survived Roadburn without too much damage.] Whether its pages will be literary gold or the drunken ravings of a madman, only time will tell. The truth will probably be somewhere in the middle. [The fact that I had not been feeling well all week and decided to drive to Tilburg by car each day probably helped me not fucking this up, though.]

Day 1

14:30 -- Ticket booth

The sun is out, Crypt Trip's Haze County was blasting through my car speakers on the way here and the queue to get my wristband went smooth. That's about as good a start as it can get. Sadly, my first dilemma of the day is already coming up: See Myrkur perform her Folkesange set or Bismuth. For now I'll just sit and wait in the sun for my friends T and S to arrive.

Tanya Byrne of Bismuth

16:30 -- Studio Tilburg

We compromised. We started Roadburn with Bismuth engulfing us in the epic 'The Slow Dying Of The Great Barrier Reef' in the Hall of Fame. Sadly the band had some technical issues which fucked up the dynamics in the beginning, but otherwise it was an intense experience.

before the end of the Bismuth set, we moved on to the main stage. On the way there, we ran into some friends who decided to join us to see Myrkur. The Scandinavian folk songs were moving and well performed, but not what we needed, so we set our sights for Vile Creature, who were preparing to destroy the Patronaat.

Vic of Vile Creature

Arriving outside, we noticed that we weren't the only ones. The queue to the Patronaat was leading pretty much up to the Cul de Sac. Since the weather was still nice, we decided to go for a beer in the sun instead.

19:05 -- Veemarktstraat

Molasses was something I had been looking forward to, since it was for a large part a The Devil's Blood reunion. Their set was in general an honest and loving tribute to TDB leader Selim Lemouchi. At some points though, the band seemed possessed by Selim himself. I desperately hope they will release this as a live record. [Later, at the merch I discovered that the band had already recorded an EP. That satisfies me for now, but I still need a live record!]

Farida Lemouchi of Molasses

After that intense show, it was time to get some food. I decided to go for some Vietnamese street food. A good choice, but I should have been more careful with the sambal. I love that stuff, but a full bite at once was a bit much.

19:30 -- Green Room balcony

Luckily, I was just in time to hear the last, hauntingly beautiful song of Lingua Ignota. I had a hard time getting in and when I managed to get in, I couldn't get closer than the back of the balcony. Only when the show was over, I could see that she sat behind her keyboard in the middle of the Green Room. An eccentric choice that befits the woman.

Kristen Hayter of Lingua Ignota

21:20 -- Ladybird Skatepark

Emma Ruth Rundle was more Doomed & Stoned appropriate than I expected. Last time she did a solo show, but this time she brought her full band. Her songs were sometimes dark and doomy, sometimes rocking, but always unique.

Emma Ruth Rundle

But the best kept secret of today are certainly the heavy psych astronauts of Mythic Sunship. Even though it's not crowded, they know how to throw a party on a skatepark. [Mythic Sunship was the first band to be programmed on the Skatepark, but during the weekend more bands were scheduled to perform on this special location. More on that later.]

22:45 -- Koepelhal

I'm not sure why a band like Midnight is performing at Roadburn, since it's pretty much the odd one out this year, but I'm not complaining. I really enjoyed their filthy, sexually laden mix of Venom and Motörhead sleaze. And judging from the large crowd that gathered in the Koepelhal, I wasn't the only one.

00:40 -- Main Stage

Post rock is a hit or miss for me, but the combination of guitars and classical instruments often brings a smile to my face. The latter convinced me to watch MONO perform their Hymn to the Immortal Wind record, supported by the Jo Quail Quartet. I'm happy I did this, since the show was pure aural bliss. Rarely have I heard such a natural mix of metallic guitars and classical instruments. Although it certainly wasn't boring, the floating melodies did make me a bit sleepy.

2:xx -- Eindhoven

I guess I went full circle today. I started with Crypt Trip and ended with them as well. After MONO, these Texan rockers were exactly what I needed. Their country infused hard rock really got my energy levels back to par. Then again, anyone who can stand still during a Crypt Trip show, must be dead. It was also very nice to see my Doomed & Stoned colleague Calvin again. Roadburn is off to a good start.

Day 2

15:25 -- 013

T, S and I started our second day at Roadburn queuing up for Gold. I lost sight of the Dutch band after being disappointed by their second record, when they traded in their occult rock for a more post rock sound. Today, however, I was not disappointed at all. Their pounding post black/punk/rock really grabbed me by the balls. Charismatic frontwoman Milena Eva and her accomplices are back on my radar.

I'm currently enjoying one of the three sets of Seven That Spells. Between all the avant garde stuff, it's nice to see some proper heavy psych/stoner rock. Very well executed!

Milena Eva of Gold

17:00 -- Ladybird Skatepark

Between all the good stuff, Triptykon was my most anticipated concert of the festival. As I said, I'm a sucker for metal mixed with classical music, so I wouldn't want to miss the Swiss band performing with the renowned Metropole Orkest, the world's leading pop orchestra. Today they are playing something heavier, namely the requiem penned by Tom G. Warrior. The first and third parts date back to the Celtic Frost days, namely Into The Pandemonium (1987) and Monotheist (2006). The piece never had a middle section, until now.

Tom Gabriel Warrior and Vanja Slajh of Triptykon

The show wasn't perfect. There were some flaws here and there and at certain moments it felt like the orchestra was overtaking the band. Altogether it was an impressive performance, but somewhere I feel like there could have been more. Still a highlight, though.

I'm currently enjoying some surprise sludgy goodness of Vile Creature, while the queue for the Hall of Fame is reaching new lengths while A.A.Williams is performing there as part of the Holy Roar x Roadburn showcase.

19:55 -- Studio Tilburg

After getting my eardrums destroyed by Vile Creature, it was time for a beer with friends. Consequently, that meant I missed Conjurer, but I did manage to see the last half hour of Anna Von Hausswolff on the main stage. On record I find her music very calming, but live the tiny lady and her band deliver a massive tidal wave of sound. 'The Mysterious Vanishing of Electra' was even more impressive than on record.

22:20 - Koepelhal

After enjoying watching Calvin struggle with a massive burger from the Studio café and between the neck snapping sets of Svalbard and Pijn (both part of the Holy Roar showcase), I conquered my first queue at the Koepelhal. This was for the collaboration between artist in residence Thou and Emma Ruth Rundle. It was well worth the effort. This noisy matrimony sounded exactly as you'd expect from the two factors.

Bryan Funck of Thou

3:xx -- Eindhoven

After Pijn's set, it was straight off to the Patronaat to grab a good spot for another show I highly anticipated. That turned out to be a good decision, since I heard afterwards that the queue for Messa turned out to be huge.

My love for these Italians stems from their ability to make old school doom sound fresh again. The band manages this through the incorporations of jazz elements, as well as sporadic black metal outbursts. Today, the band brought along a saxophone player, which truly added an extra dimension to their music.

Day 3

17:20 -- 013

Today we started off with Have A Nice Life. The new wave was enjoyable, but we had other priorities, for Wolvennest was about to perform their latest effort, Void, in its entirety. The Belgian band went all out for this show, bringing several guest musicians, as well as brand new visuals. Musically, Wolvennest definitely made a step up from their debut, WLVNNST. Their black metal with psychedelic and doom influences pleased the many people who came to witness this ritual. The only negative comment one could have, is that the altar looked very small on the large main stage.

Henrik Palm is no stranger to most Roadburners. The Swede used to be a member of In Solitude and Ghost. You can clearly hear this in his solo work, but his eclectic rockers always feel unique. I remain with only one question. Why the early Judas Priest videos?

19:20 -- Ladybird Skatepark

I'm not much of a fan of most of the bands from the Exile on Mainstream roster, but Treedeon I had to see. These Germans make for some noisy, primitive doom, which is right up my alley. There are some clear Conan vibes here, but the double vocals make it just a tad more brutal.

23:15 -- Koepelhal

I always enjoy good times with good people, so I was happy to join a small Doomed & Stoned meetup with Calvin and Sally [whose photos add some color to this article]. Contrary to my instincts, I left my friends behind to make it in time for what is probably the highlight of this year’s Roadburn. Coming near the 013 was like walking into a coffee shop (the Dutch kind), with the smell of weed greeting you from far away. Not surprising, since it wouldn't be long before the almighty Sleep would perform their classic record Holy Mountain in one go. When I arrived, some 20 odd minutes before the show, the hall was already crowded, with people queuing up, not more than five minutes later.

It was quite the magical experience to hear one of my all-time favorite records being performed live. The first notes of 'Dragonaut' already gave me goosebumps and headbanging became a priority for nearly two hours. Sleep performing 'The Clarity' and a part of 'Dopesmoker' surely was an extra treat.

Al Cisneros of Sleep

4:xx -- Eindhoven

Doolhof was a typical case of the right band at wrong time. The drone outfit, with Aaron Turner of Old Man Gloom and Sumac fame in its ranks, sounded highly intense and mesmerizing, but after Sleep, I was looking for something more energetic.

Luckily, I received a push message after the Sleep show, saying that Thou would perform a special set at the Skatepark. There had been rumours that the band would perform a set of Misfits covers somewhere during the weekend and this was it. A couple hundred people had shown up and the band was going through classics like 'Die, Die My Darling' and 'Hybrid Moments' like the audience was going through beers.

This set was absolute mayhem with the crowd moving as one mass and there was pretty much constant crowd surfing. The band was joined by Emma Ruth Rundle on a couple of songs, and for their final song, 'Last Caress', they were joined by Converge/Old Man Gloom's Nate Newton and Gilead Media chief Adam Bartlett. The former even went stage diving. If anyone was doubting why Thou is the artist in residence this year, they get it now.

Recharged by the insane show I had just witnessed, it was time for some after-partying in the basement of the 013 until the lights came on.

Day 4

Up until a few years ago the Roadburn Sunday was more of an after party, or Afterburner as it was called, but in recent years it changed into a full day. This year, all stages but the Koepelhal have bands playing, but thankfully my schedule is far less busy than the previous days.

17:30 - Main Stage

The intensity of three days of Roadburn appears to have had an effect not only on me, but on most of the visitors. That's why T and I decided to take it easy. This meant we missed Lucy in Blue because we arrived in Tilburg at 3pm. Since for the first time this weekend, temperatures reached comfortable levels, we decided to enjoy the sun a little before diving into another day of musical adventure.

my first band of the day was Supersonic Blues, a last minute addition to the program. The young band from The Hague had the honor to play the now infamous Ladybird Skatepark. Their heavy blues rock wasn't that special, but it surely was a welcome energizer for the rest of the day.

The first highlight of the day was TankZilla, a newcomer from my hometown Eindhoven, who got to warm up the Hall of Fame. Even though this was their second gig ever, the two members are anything but new to the scene. Singer/guitar player Peter van Elderen has enjoyed success for over twenty years with Peter Pan Speedrock, but also has more stoner credits with bands like Repomen and Four Headed Dog and drummer Marcin Hurkmans is known for his work with rockers Wolfskop. Although there's just two guys on stage, they manage to produce some fat-sounding stoner rock with the signature riffs and lyrics of van Elderen. Today saw the release of their first 7", but this show leaves me hungry for more!

20:45 -- 013 Lobby

With an hour to kill, I decided to walk to the 013 to check out a few songs from today's Thou set. Even though it was their fourth set this weekend, the main stage was packed with people wanting to see the artist in residence one more time. And rightfully so. Even after four days of playing, the last time being only 16 hours before, the band played another energetic set of nasty doom.

Mitch Wells of Thou

This made it somewhat difficult for me to leave early, but I had been looking forward to my second chance of seeing Bismuth ever since it was announced this morning. The Skatepark has become my favorite venue and the acoustics are perfect for the intensity of "The Slow Dying of the Great Barrier Reef". This time not troubled by technical difficulties, the UK duo's perfect performance of 'The Slow Dying of the Great Barrier Reef' is one of my absolute highlights of the festival.

Fuel is important on days like these, so I decided to skip the beginning of Old Man Gloom to grab a delicious pancake filled with spinach and goats cheese, walnuts and honey. By the time I reach the crowded main stage, the OMG set is almost over, but judging from the enthusiastic crowd, the New Mexico sludge machine managed to deliver.

Aaron Turner of Old Man Gloom

2:xx -- Eindhoven

Roadburn is over, but not before we were treated to another two-hour set of Sleep. This time the sonic titans performed their most recent effort, The Sciences, in its entirety, with the addition of "Leagues Beneath", "Dragonaut" and another section of "Dopesmoker". Sadly, the band was troubled by technical difficulties, to the great annoyance of Matt Pike, who even had to switch amps mid-set. This prevented the show from being the legendary event it could have been.

Matt Pike of Sleep

After Sleep, the time had come to slowly start Brexiting (saying you are leaving, but staying as long as you can).Saying goodbye to friends, both old and new, is always difficult, but it was fun to hear all the great stories everyone lived this weekend and see the joy in everyone's tired eyes. And just like Great Britain, we stayed until we were kicked out, leaving Tilburg behind with many new memories.

☀

[boundless-limbo-deviation]

Part 1 - Chapter 2: The Grass is Greener

A pair of sturdy, brown, leather walking boots plodded along an elegantly maintained brick road. Horse-driven carriages creaked on their wheels through the streets of a sprawling city. Whilst the scale and splendour of this city neared what one would expect from a modern metropolis, it was contrastingly dated in appearance. For miles upon miles, stretched a city of the middle ages; Thanton. Whilst it followed the foundations comparable to medieval architecture, its buildings had clearly stood the test of time for centuries. Certain archaic towers even scratched the sky with their scale, with the very tallest being the central tower of a giant palace overlooking its community. The only thing standing higher than this castle's tower was the very mountain that cradled it amidst its southern cliffs. The mountain stood like a watchful deity over Thanton's vastness, which spanned every side of the craggy mass of rock, all the way up to the coastal harbour in the north.

The boots' steady pace came to a halt before the city’s immense front-gates. A traditional drawbridge that was vast enough in size to boast the sheer amount of commerce going in and out of the city. Naturally, this drawbridge was one of many along the walls stretching miles around the city’s circumference.

A young girl stood at the gate, her vibrant amber eyes staring puzzled at the unusual sight of the drawbridge being closed, carriages filled with befuddled traders and travellers queued up for an exit to the city, growing impatient with the wall of wood inconveniencing their day. The youth neatened up her elegantly curled hair, a vibrant ginger flowing halfway down her back like an intricately controlled fire, only further heated by the scarlet-red (and almost comparatively modern) princess coat that hung down to her calves, astonishingly groomed and clean compared to those well-worked leather boots.

“Sir Nasos!” A surprisingly powerful, authoritative voice bellowed from the petite teen’s chords, her stern expression holding impatience. In response to her voice, a flustered, heavily armoured guard’s head peeked over from the castellations of the wall, the girl bending her head right back to make attempted eye-contact with the man, with difficulty due to his helmet-masked face.

“Lady Thanos! Please, you needn’t refer to me with such formality!” He responded nervously.

The girl’s stoic expression cracked a grin, struggling to withhold a chuckle. “You ought to follow your own advice, Steve. Why is the drawbridge closed? Open it! All of these busy people are waiting, myself included!” She crossed her arms and tilted her head expectantly.

The man’s helmet almost fell from his head as he dangled nearly half of his body over the edge of the wall, clearing his throat in his fluster. “A-Apologies, Miss Haraki! There have been sightings of strange monsters emerging from the woods! I’ve been given orders to shut the gate until further notice!” Every word from his mouth was yelled dutifully, though nervous in the face of this child before him.

Haraki looked bewildered by such an order, placing her hands back down on her hips. “I’ll be your ‘further notice’, Steve! So open the gate, and if you get in trouble with the Captain, I’ll have a word with him myself, okay?--Honestly, the main gate?--Look just how much congestion this is causing! If we see monsters, we can close them promptly. It could very well just be an old farmer mistaking a black cat for a demon. We cannot be closing our gates based on sightings alone. We’re supposed to have a shipment of new medicine from Dardonia today too! We need as little traffic as possible!” She tapped her foot impatiently on the floor.

"Wouldn't a Dardonian delivery just fly into the city?"

"Steve!"

“O-Okay! Yes, right away!” Apparently intimidated by this small girl's level of authority, the guard's head vanished from the top of the wall, and after thirty seconds or so, the heavy wooden gate began to descend with a loud, impressive creak. Dense chains brought the drawbridge down with a deep 'clink clink clink clink’, until a reverberating 'clonk’ announced the bridge securely locking into place, revealing the vast countryside beyond the walls. Without delay, carriages started to roll off, several passengers waving to the young girl from their windows, shouting words of appreciation. The girl could only smile and wave back, before continuing her walk through the city gates.

“Miss Haraki! Wait! Please do be careful! If there truly are monsters, your life could be in danger!” Suddenly, the chrome helmet of Steve emerged from the wall’s castellations again, waving an arm frantically. The young girl’s eyes rolled with amused irritation, swivelling around on her heel to stare up at the concerned guardsman.

“Oh, heavens forbid; An adorable black cat meows at me. I can imagine the bloodshed now.” Spoken with an indulgent topping of sarcasm, waving a hand dismissively. Despite her elegant demeanour, the girl’s hands, much like her boots, were coarse and roughened. “Concern yourself not, my good sir. This will be just like yesterday, and the day before that. A mere sighting cannot scratch me.” She shrugged her shoulders, grinning smugly before turning around again.

“But Princess-Haaargh!” The man gave a struggled groan as his oversized helmet, too big for his own head, slid out from its amateurishly fastened straps, plummeting down onto the bridge with a hefty ‘bonk’. This left the bizarrely beautiful, flowing brown locks of the young man flow freely as he muttered curses of blunder under his breath.

The so-called royal youth turned herself around for a second time with an exasperated sigh, picking the helmet up begrudgingly. “Formalities, Sir Nasos!” She bluntly jeered back. Grasping the helmet’s loose strap, and with a powerful swing of her arm, launched it back up towards the man upon the wall, before sauntering away without another word. Unbeknown to her; the helmet came crashing down onto the brick road, all the way on the other side of the wall. She'd missed the flailing hands of Steve by a long shot.

  Brick soon turned to dirt as Haraki distanced herself further from the city, the road becoming more beaten in parallel to the rolling fields of green surrounding her. The countryside was dotted with farmhouses, smaller settlements of homes, and an absolute abundance of cows, horses and sheep. The green was only interrupted by wheat stalks spreading between alternating fields like patchwork. Whilst the weather was clear and skies were blue, off the coast to the west was shroud of grey clouds, obscurring the horizon in a light mizzle of rain.

The frequency of horse-drawn carriages and merchant carts along the roads had slowed to near-nothing once Haraki was off the main brick roads. The girl’s brisk jogging was steadily paced as if it were second nature to her, showing no signs of tiring any moment soon. She closed in on the densely wooded forest, a bright smile of excitement spread across her face, as a thrilling image conjured up in her head.

Just a couple of days prior, the young royal had found something deeply unusual in one of her otherwise regular excursions into Foloway Forest. The Kingdom’s largest forest hid many secrets, and somehow this one had eluded Haraki throughout her adventurous childhood. She blamed not finding it earlier on the fact that she’d only been permitted to leave the city without a caretaker within the last few years due to her age, but she never once felt like her freedom was suppressed.

Those worn leather boots were proving their worth, with the girl fearlessly marching off any beaten path to make a faster journey of finding her goal. If a shrub or bush of nettles so much as stood in her path, she barged on through like a battering ram. No petty piece of underbrush stood a chance.

After about twenty straight minutes of violated vegetation, where the trees were reaching their tallest and the leaves were at their densest; Haraki reached her destination. Lightly reflecting the dappled sunlight through the treetops, were the age-eroded stones of a remarkable ruin. What could have originally been a collection of small buildings, was now a pile of rubble surrounding a bunker-like structure rearing its head up from the earth. Little rounded sculptures dotted the various steps and nooks around the unidentifiable architecture. Arguably adorable, yet far too worn to resemble anything in particular.

Dried leaves and twigs cracked audibly with each cautious step the young girl took towards the structure. Her research in the library didn’t yield a thing as to what it could be, though that could be partially because she got bored trying to find out anything about this ruin via reading. Much better to face her curiosity directly by visiting again. That was her mindset in most ventures and it had served her well enough so far, with the occasional scuffed elbow or scraped knee.

‘Let’s see what you are.’ The girl pondered to herself. Just before she was able to step upon the cold surface of the ruined stone steps however, an unsettling chill ran up her spine. Looking down at her feet, she noticed the leaves and moss beneath her had turned an eerie, lifeless grey. Something about it made the young girl wince distastefully, urgently lifting her foot away and onto the stone step in front of her as if she’d just stepped in a pile of dung.

Swivelling around, Haraki examined the literally greyed-out space of plant life. Kneeling down to take a closer look, it seemed to spread directly outwards from the ruined bunker she was standing on. The same pattern continued consistently around the entire structure. She was admittedly starting to have second thoughts, but tried to shrug the effect off as a kind of chemical reaction from the materials of this ruin. She didn’t really need to care about the science of it, that was for the scholars to think about.

Making a mental note to raise this unusual phenomenon with a bookish individual when she got back home, she turned on her heels once again and regained her fearless resolve to explore this enigmatic structure. Circling around the outer path of the bunker, she gave a gasp of intrigue to find a clear, intact entrance; stairs descending into the buried building. Her heart was thumping with anticipation, eager to be sated. The lass set off downwards, the heavy pacing of her boots echoed in the abandoned corridor of stone, spiralling downwards into the ground.

The stairs continued on for a lot longer than Haraki deemed normal, and the light from outside was dwindling. The princess gave an impatient sigh, narrowing her eyes as she lifted a hand, staring at what little was left to see in this limited lighting. She made repeated gestures with her hand; clenching it shut and opening it again, growing increasingly annoyed at whatever she was trying to do. She firmly clicked her fingers, waved them in the air repeatedly, made a circle with her hand... Nothing worked. Her eyes shut, jaw clenched and teeth bared, before one more, particularly satisfying click of her fingers enticed a sudden ball of light to erupt from the palm of her hand.

Caught by the surprise of her struggled, but successful spell to light her way, the young girl gave a sigh of relief and continued her downwards spiral into the unknown.

This obscured structure was probably around six storeys into the ground when Haraki finally saw an end to the stairwell. She stopped and looked blankly along the corridor at the steps’ base. A short path leading directly towards an archway into a larger chamber; her goal was right there!

Only wishing that the arch didn’t lead to yet more stairs, she was ready to take her last few steps downwards, before a bone-chilling sound and a slithering movement slipped past the corner of her eye. She gave a sharp gasp, almost losing her footing when trying to turn, getting better look at the source of her shock.

Her amber eyes, reflecting the light of her spell, widened for a moment before narrowing in disgust; On the wall was a nondescript, unsettling creature. An insect or mollusc? It was around the length of her forearm and appeared to have legs with plates of glossy exoskeleton, but the way it squirmed was contrastingly amorphic. Firmly clenching her teeth, Haraki took a shaken breath, carefully leaning down to grab a loose brick from the ancient steps.

She firmly held her back against the inner-most wall of the staircase, trying to slip past the nightmarish entity without disturbing it further. The second she passed, an unpleasant, alarming ‘Thwop’ threw her into action as the creature immediately fell from the wall and onto the step beside her. With a panicked yelp, followed by a fast roar of action, the young lady bent her knees and brought both hands down, slamming the brick upon the creature’s uncertain shape. A most revolting ‘Shplock!’ echoed through the underground chambers, as her encounter with the alien-like creature ended as quickly as it began.

The young noblewoman had chosen not to wait and find out if the creature was harmful or not. She stood up straight, kicking the brick down the remaining stairs to get a glimpse of the crushed ‘bug's’ corpse. The slab of stone peeled away from what was now just a mess of off-pink flesh and cracked shell. She hadn’t a clue what she’d just killed, it just oozed viscous fluids down the stone steps. She could only stand a few more seconds even trying to figure it out before scurrying towards her original goal at the bottom of the stairs. Yet another question for the scientists.

Down the remaining stairs and through the archway, the girl in red gave a sigh of relief; she’d evidently reached the bottom. All that greeted her for now was darkness, and from how her footsteps echoed on the cold stone floor, this chamber was large and empty. She tried to brighten her spell, to no avail. With another agitated roll of her eyes, she cautiously paced further into the room, watching her footing due to only seeing a few meters ahead.

The girl only had the echo of her steps for company--so she thought--before the light of her spell reflected off of something in the darkness; two reddish lights glared back at her, beckoning the girl to gasp with a shrill yelp! “Aah! What the—” Her initial scare was cooled quickly, realising that staring back at her was the familiar glow of a cat’s eyes in the darkness.

“O-Oh gosh! Kitty? You frightened me.” She sighed in relief and slowly knelt down, holding out her glowing hand. “How did you get down here sweetie? Right out in the woods too, awh...” She muttered in a high, silly pitch, the likes of which people often resort to when in the close proximity of a cute animal.

As the girl’s voice resounded against the chamber walls, a deep humming began to speak back. Haraki’s fiery head of hair flung back and forth, standing up straight again as she tried to identify the source. It was as if the whole room started buzzing, and as the sound intensified, light began to seep from between the bricks, white crystals lining the walls illuminated, quickly bringing the whole chamber into clarity.

“Oh wow... There are magic installations in here?” She found herself speaking aloud, as if the company of a cat somehow justified it. The crystals distracted the girl only momentarily as the room reacted to the sounds of her presence and came to life. It must not have been activated in a long time judging from how long it took to start up. Turning her attention back to the pair of feline eyes she spotted earlier, she suddenly clutched a hand to her chest in shock, dispelling the light she'd conjured. Her startle wasn't because of the black, red-eyed cat staring quietly back at her, but because of the unconscious figure sprawled on the ground beside it.

“What—Oh my god!” Without a second’s pause, she ran closer to the body, almost skidding to a halt and kneeling by the person’s side. “Hello! Are you okay? Oh, goodness...” She was left in a fleeting panic. Everything about them was shrouded in a flowing mess of silver hair, but Haraki gently rolling them over revealed the stranger’s face.

“A boy?” Haraki muttered under her breath. It didn’t take her long to realise he was breathing steadily, alleviating her concerns. She gazed over at the red-eyed cat, who had paced a few feet away from her. “Are you with him?” She made a mental note of the cat’s eyes, and the boy’s hair, silently remarking on the unusual qualities. A shudder of mystery gave her goosebumps; finding an unusual cat and unconscious boy at the bottom of a mysterious ruin? Her day went from exciting to surreal! Not even taking into account the grotesque eldritch... thing she killed a few minutes ago.

She carefully lay the young man on his side, doing her best to remember the staple recovery position. The cat watched on studiously, with a deep, wide-eyed curiosity, until Haraki shifted her attention back towards him. “You’re adorable! Look at your amazing eyes...” She stood up and edged herself towards the feline, who sat observantly as the girl knelt down and held her hand outwards. Common cat courtesy; let the cat smell your hand first and foremost. But this cat showed no signs of flinching, nor a desire to take a whiff. The two of them merely exchanged a silent stare.

“Your ears are all curved, like horns...” Her hands fearlessly went for the petting, the response she received was the cat lowering his head back into his neck awkwardly, but not enough to truly escape the girl’s hand. She mostly just wanted to run a finger along the backs of those arched ears.

  Ten or so minutes passed with Haraki and the enigmatic cat sitting by the unconscious body of the boy. The cat seemed intrigued by the girl’s eagerness to stay and keep watch, but did not even inch from where he sat. The girl eventually had to relent from petting the cat, understanding that whilst he didn’t move, he didn’t seem too fond of it either. Eventually, the two lively figures sprang up in startle as the boy began to move.

“Hello? Hi! Are you alright?” Her concern was met by an abrupt gasp from the young man, sharply sitting up and throwing his weight backwards. Haraki stayed low, holding out a hand, (much like she did for the cat, really) and spoke calmly. “Hey hey, it’s okay; it’s fine! I’m Haraki, okay? I just found you here, do you—uhm, understand me?”

The boy took several deep, anxious breaths before nodding his head frantically. “Y-Yes... Am I—?” He glanced about his surroundings. Towering over him was a tall, familiar monolith, just like the last thing he saw before losing consciousness. This time, however, his location was completely different. Upon spotting the cat, who finally stood up from his position and moved closer, the boy exclaimed; “Yang! Did we make it?”

The boy was clearly experiencing a complete overload of emotion, unsure of where to direct his attention. The room around him, the otherworldly stranger who greeted him, or his familiar mentor, who remained quiet, glancing between his student and the stranger.

The three of them cast awkward gazes amongst one another, before the silver-haired boy spoke again. “Yang? Say something!” He uttered, stammering on his words amidst his heightened breathing.

A very human-like sigh emanated from the small animal beside Haraki, before the cat finally broke his cover with that refined, charming tone of his. “I was trying to remain discreet in the presence of a stranger, Kiyoshi.”

The girl’s eyes widened, her lips silently parting as her head turned away from the boy, to stare in disbelief at the cute critter to her side, who returned her gaze, except calmly.

“To naturally avoid frightening the lass. She’s shown nothing but courtesy upon finding us.” Kiyoshi had his turn to feel the fright; now it was Haraki’s. She fell off her heels where she knelt, staggering to the side as her legs frantically kicked along the ground, putting just a meter of extra distance between herself and the others.

The roles had quickly reversed, Kiyoshi holding his hand out and waving it with flustered dismissal. “N-No no no! it’s okay! We don’t mean you any harm!” The poor fellow dropping the most staple line of reassurance he could find in his emotionally shaken, awkward self.

Yang tilted his head back softly, with a slow blink of those blood-red eyes. “As mentioned, young lady, sorry for frightening you.”

Rather than continuing her brief tizzy, the girl was taking deep, concise breaths to try and calm herself down. “I-I believe you! I think—Oh my god...” Her shaken tone betrayed her words. She gulped down her next sentence, taking another moment to compose. “I’m um... This is just very different, I—” Her amber eyes flickered between two enigmatic entities, where initially the boy had been the most mysterious, the cat now outranked him vastly.

Kiyoshi nodded slowly, the boy and cat sitting in silence to allow the girl space and time to digest the situation. Yang wordlessly admired her bravery. He was well aware that human beings weren’t widely accustomed to silver hair and talking cats, and they very well could have sent the girl fleeing entirely.

Haraki took a long, deep breath. Her hands covered her face in an attempt to arrange her thoughts, before holding them both out as if to say; 'wait a minute'. “Are you both from... a black rock atop a hill?” Her silence-breaker struck both of the otherworldly visitors to their cores. Yang’s ears twitched and turned, Kiyoshi inhaled sharply through his nose.

“How could... Why would you say that?” Kiyoshi stuttered back, being reminded of home again so quickly felt like a dagger in his gut. He bit the inside of his lip, a hand desperately kneading into the glimmering blue garment he had been clinging to.

Yang could tell Kiyoshi was hurting, and interjected to take ownership of the question. “I’m astounded by the sudden, sheer precision of your inquiry, young lady. I didn’t expect the first human we met to be familiar with our home. May I ask how you know this?”

Haraki watched the cat speaking like an intricately orchestrated symphony. Almost mesmerised by the bizarreness, She blinked once realising he had asked a question. “Oh wow, sorry.” She paused. “It's just a bit odd, that I was petting you a moment ago and talking to you like a... Cat.”

The thought alone was enough to dispel some of Kiyoshi’s anxiety for the moment, a soft laugh uttered from the boy as Haraki continued.

“I heard it from stories my father told me. Well, rather, they were stories he heard from my mother before she passed away. I never knew her, myself.” She said, at which Kiyoshi had dropped back into reserved silence again, as Yang listened with full intent.

“He told me she travelled to the world of demons, and that it wasn’t a scary place at all! She described it as a beautiful landscape of twilight--Is that all real?--You believe these stories as a little kid, obviously, but...”

“Then we are your proof." Yang interjected. "Though you could imagine the scenery becomes rather mundane to the Underworld’s inhabitants. I suppose after some time we’ll no doubt look back on our memories of it and grow nostalgic.”

“Wait, wait--You’re not going back?” The girl was concerned by Yang's dismissive tone.

The black cat sternly cast a glance over at his pupil's visible grief. “I shouldn’t go into detail at this point, as much as I appreciate your hospitality. To keep it short; Our homeland has been ravaged by illness, and is no longer a safe, or pleasant place to be.”

“What?” Haraki’s reaction was loud and abrupt, her hands gripping anxiously into her coat as a shiver ran through her body. “Illness? Like a plague?” Yang gave a slow nod in response, staring expectantly at her. “See, there’s a massive epidemic here too, and I mean--not just here--the whole world’s been hit by it.” Haraki clarified, even Yang’s steadfast composure seemed to be shaken by the notion that this plague was spread across two dimensions.

Kiyoshi had question after question piling up in his mind, weighing down on all the stress attempting to erupt. He sat there with an ache in the pit of his stomach that refused to go away, and he didn’t expect it to anytime soon either.

“How could... How could that even be possible? What are the symptoms here? Is it terminal?” The fur on Yang’s back twitched, starting to lift and stand on end with cautious intrigue.

“Uhm, it's killed a lot of people, but it isn't definitely terminal... I'm not very good with medical things like symptoms. My father has it, uh... he feels cold and exhausted all the time. His muscles hurt a lot. He, uh..." She began making circular gestures with her hands away from her mouth.

"Vomits?" Yang bluntly said it for her, garnering a reluctant nod from the youth. Yang simply narrowed his eyes and continued. “I am truly sorry to hear about your father. Is there any discolouration of the skin and hair, or loss of sight?”

Haraki made an uncertain shrug with her shoulders and hands. “My father's become pale, but... No change to his eyes or hair. I'm sorry, I don't actually know anything specific about the sickness outside of Thanton--That is--my city. Was it... Uh, different for you?" The young woman seemed afraid to ask.

“Almost every case is severe, and fatal. I won't elaborate further on that right now.” Likely to save more grief for himself, but especially Kiyoshi. It wasn't worth giving their life story to a stranger, no matter how friendly she might be.

Haraki felt her muscles tense. She couldn't swallow this tinge of guilt no matter how many times she tried, because the dread in the air was clear as day. “O-Oh my god... I’m so sorry. I didn't mean to pry.” She stood back up frantically, her mind hitting a block on what else to say.

Yang performed another one of his very cat-like slow blinks. "You did nothing of the sort. I understand you already feel shaken by the reality of this encounter." Kiyoshi's attention was elsewhere, completely silent and empty.

"No no! I mean, yes but, it's nothing compared to what you--" She stopped herself for another deep breath, looking away to gather her thoughts. "I should... Leave you to yourselves? I'll, uhm, just..." She turned on her heels towards the way she entered and took a whole three brisk steps before Yang stopped her.

"Hold on, young lady. Please let me properly introduce ourselves. My name is Yang, and this boy is my apprentice, Kiyoshi. I understand such formalities were lost amidst our mutual... Culture shock, let's say."

Whatever Yang did with his polite cut-in, it worked miracles in dispelling Haraki's guilt. The girl turned to face them again, and with a sharp inhale through flared nostrils, she performed a clumsy curtsy. "Haraki." She smiled in appreciation at Yang's courtesy, emboldening her to speak further. "Would you two... Please join me outside? It would be my honour to escort you."

The cat's eyes widened, body language relaxing considerably. "Your hospitality knows no bounds, Haraki." As the cat lifted his back legs off the ground, he stared intently at Kiyoshi, who on the other hand, showed little sign of moving. Slouched over where has was sat, both arms folded tensely across his abdomen. He could barely return his mentor's gaze. Despite the boy's mourning, Yang had to give him the push. "Come, Kiyoshi. Just a bit further; Remember why you are here."

Kiyoshi finally lifted his head. During Yang and Haraki's dialogue, he'd been left to sink into the company of his dark thoughts. "Mm." He murmured. But Yang's words stirred a budding motivation inside him at the very least, urging the young man to finally stand before nodding his head in silent thanks at the welcoming lass.

"Thank you, um." Haraki found it difficult addressing the boy. What could she even say to him that didn't come across as empty or shallow? So instead she nodded awkwardly back at him, clapping her hands together assertively. "Great! Uh, let's go then!" Her somewhat forced pep added to her tone echoed through the chamber, as she yet again turned to walk just a few steps ahead. The chamber remained illuminated for now, but the stairwell remained dark and decrepit, meaning Haraki had to struggle and re-kindle her poor display of magic to guide the way, of which Yang stared, taking silent note. "Oh, um, I don't suppose either of you know what this thing might be? It's rather... repulsive, I think I sort of squashed it on my way down. Mind your step." Haraki was of course, referring to the revolting carcass of the 'blob' she splattered earlier.

The young man only gave a passing "Eugh..." as his line of sight passed over it. Seeing any instance of viscera again would be too soon.

Yang on the other hand, stayed true to the ways of his kind by cautiously leaning in and sniffing it, only to pull back and wince in disgust. "How vile. I'm content to have never seen any creature of the sort."

The princess felt no more at ease that her guests had no information to give on the abomination. She'd just have to describe it to a researcher at the palace library. The girl maintained a brisk pace up the stairs, with Yang remaining furthest behind to keep his student moving. As the light from above began to fill the tunnel, Haraki snuffed out her spell.

The moment they stepped outside, the human girl's breath of fresh air paled in comparison to the sheer awe in the eyes of her company. Yang was stunned, and Kiyoshi wordlessly took steps of his own ahead of the group, almost losing his footing and instead leaning his weight against the closest tree he could reach. Haraki was taken aback by how anyone could react like this to what she considered to be the mundane. The cat and girl stepped away from the cold stone entrance, each of them feeling their feet settle on the forest soil. Yang sat himself on the earth with his tail wrapping around his front paws, pushing those pads down into the fallen leaves, feline nose twitching as it sniffed the clean forest air.

Green grass, blue skies, trees in vast abundance. To Kiyoshi, this was his fairy tale. After having mustered the courage to stand before, his hand dragged down the tree's bark. He was once again brought to his knees by a surge of emotion he couldn't suppress, but this was far more bittersweet than dread. "Mom, Dad... I'm here, I made it. I can't... I can't believe I'm here." Kiyoshi's mourning no longer echoed in isolation, but instead carried on the wind through the branches of the wood. The others remained in silence, allowing Kiyoshi one more moment of release, one he truly needed.

  Given their necessary moment of reflection, the two Underworld refugees were able to stand and move on. Kiyoshi's spirits had lifted significantly, feeling more comfortable around the girl who had offered to guide them through Foloway Forest after having broken down before her like that. He couldn't stop remarking on the colour of the vegetation and sky. Each and every plant was like seeing an alien, Kiyoshi was taking excessive care with everything he laid hands on, in fear of breaking or damaging literally anything, from fragile plants right down to one particularly shiny pebble in the midst of a stream. Everybody's mood was lifted by his vibrant curiosity.

Once they had left the woods, as the rolling hills of farmland spread out before them, it dawned on Kiyoshi all over again just how much he could see. His jaw dropped, gasping and turning his head frantically, as if desperately searching for the spot where the land drops off into a sea of cloud, but instead he only saw the cliffs by the coast.

"Oh my goodness..." An open-mouthed smile of giddy awe spread across his face, green eyes basically twinkling from the lingering tears and bright light of the sun beaming down on them. "Is that seriously all water?" Far more cat-like than his mentor right now, Kiyoshi's attention was rapidly tugged from one place to the next, throwing his head back to look at the sky. "W-We're so far beneath the clouds!"

Haraki could only exchange an expression of amusement with Yang. Not that the cat's face was prone to much outside of the usual cat-like spectrum of expression. "His reaction is sort of lining up with what my Father told me about your world." She said down to him, to which he silently blinked in acknowledgement before the princess marched ahead towards the silver-haired boy who had now begun to gasp at the presence of a field full of cows in the distance. Haraki had her eye caught on the horizon out at sea, her eyes widening in intrigue as the mist from earlier had lifted significantly.

"Hey!" She called out to him. "Look back out at sea again, really carefully now. Look, look!"

Kiyoshi responded with an idle "Huh?" before doing as she asked, the girl pointing her finger sharply at a particular point where the sky had been clearing, and everything soon became apparent.

A positively colossal silhouette stretched up from the distant sea, a tower of such remarkable size and haphazard shape that its very existence should have been impossible, stretching far beyond the clouds. Even Yang approached in disbelief, his narrow pupils widening visibly.

"I had heard of a structure of fantastic proportions, but seeing it in person far outmatches any expectations..." The wise cat admitted.

"What... is it?" Asked Kiyoshi to the steadily brightening expression of the princess.

"That's Dardonia Citadel; The world's largest manmade structure, and home to the people who are going to cure my Father!"

[brynwrites]

Ask Compilation.

Topics covered:

Plain MCs in an otherwise creative cast.

Using real life cultures as fantasy inspiration.

Writing hot button topics into stories.

Memory loss.

Shock in character death.

An idea request.

All other questions should be listed on the ask queue page. (Except WIP related ones. Most of those are queued though ^^)

Plain MCs in an otherwise creative cast.

Anon asked: Hello! So I've started a few bigger project over the years and I noticed that for some reason my protagonists are always quite boring and weak and don't really feel as a real person? It's not that I can't write a good character - I have stories full of complex and interesting people and then there's the plain MC. I'm trying to put as much or even more effort and care into creating them as with any other character but the result is always the same. Do you have any advice? 

Quite often this happens because the story is trying to be about someone else. If your side characters are interesting and complex, why can’t the story be their story instead? What are their goals and fears? If they had to save the day instead of your MC, how would that story turn out? 

If you’re able to write good characters, sometimes you just have to drop the bland ones and focus on the others.

Using real life cultures as fantasy inspiration.

Anon asked: Is it okay to use certain countries as inspiration for fictional ones without referencing their entire, real-life history? Would getting just some parts of their culture be... insensitive/rude somehow?

Of course! This often creates the most real to life and complex fantasy cultures, because you already have a base to build from. You do want to do a little research though, and be familiar with the culture’s history, so you don’t make any insensitive additions to the culture or portray things in a negatively stereotypical way. 

Writing hot button topics into stories.

@aerodragneel​ asked: Hey, so with all the stuff about school shootings and gun violence going around, would it be all right if I had a school shooting scene in one of my stories? Or would it just make things worse?

As long as you treat the subject with respect and do your research ahead of time, there’s no reason you can’t or shouldn’t write about things like gun violence and school shootings. Literature has (and will always be) political. 

Memory loss.

Anon asked: Do you have any takes on "character loses their memories"?

I think it’s a fun trope in certain situations, but annoyingly forced in others. I don’t have any particular tips regarding it though. I’ve never actually written it before.

Shock in character death.

Anon asked: HEY I saw your post on death scenes and I'm wondering how you would go about writing shock in a character who has just seen someone they love die.  

This the sort of thing I usually just feel my way through when I write, and do a lot of editing depending on beta reader reactions. Some things to hit though:

1. Physical feelings. Things like numbness of skin, weightlessness, sounds echoing or not making sense or sounding far away, not realizing you’re crying, losing balance, etc.

2. Emotional metaphors. Don’t go too heavy into this because the more emotions you describe the more it’ll feel like the character isn’t truly in shock, but a cute tragic little picture of how the main character feels emotionally can go a long way. Maybe they’re hollow, or maybe they feel as though the anger and pain has vanished like smoke, taking everything they are with it. It’ll depend a lot on how your character usually likes to narrate their emotions.

3. Narration. Don’t be afraid to have some fun with the formatting and sentence length and structure. People in shock often don’t think straight and can’t put their thoughts into words the way they normally would. 

An idea request.

@lindsinlove asked: Hey! I'm hoping you can help! I've recently hit a writing block and I feel like I can't continue my novel until I solve this problem. [...] I'm just not sure what the nickname should be? At first it was just the Demon, but I don't like it. I've played around with something using the words 'hollow' or 'void' but it never feels right. Any ideas? Thank you!

I’m going to direct you to this post here!

[buri-art]

Wuqiao Acrobatics World

A few years ago while trying to keep my Mandarin skills in tact, I saw a short documentary about Wuqiao, Hebei Province, said to be the birthplace of Chinese acrobatics, and where all the villagers can at least do some acrobatics (I treat that saying with a big grain of salt, but phrases like this do have some impact on local identity). For my last six-day backpacking trip in China, I planned it around going to Wuqiao for a day trip and seeing this circus-y place myself. 

I’ll start out by saying that if you don’t speak Chinese or feel very comfortable getting around in a place that speaks no English, I wholeheartedly recommend going with a tour group from Beijing or Tianjin if you want to go here yourself. The venue is designed for groups with coordinated performance times and dependable transportation. I found this out through trial and error and missed a few morning performances that way. Sniffle! 

Anyway, if you search “Wuqiao” in English most of the results will be the same short article on multiple websites and several tours designed for foreign travelers from Beijing, so while I don’t have a specific recommendation, I can say that Chinese tour guides will vary a lot and as long as you have  a small group, you’ll have an easier time getting a good guide who will be flexible to your interests. So now onto my June 19, 2018 experience!

Sometimes when people talk smack about tour groups, they say it’s because they want to the see the “real” things, not touristy things. I see where this comment is coming from; sometimes a superficial run-around of a handful of packed locations that the locals never go to and then hours spent being shoved into gift shops is going to make it feel like you learned nothing in a foreign country except for the stresses of international travel. However, as someone who has worked in foreign tourism before, I want to point out a couple things:  1. If you have a good guide, you’re going to get a far more awesome experience than you might have been able to plan on your own. You’re not lame for enjoying the good (and often amazing) services of a tour operator who cares about giving you a good time.  2. In China, you’re getting something “real” anyway. That was one of my biggest impressions of this very dilapidated tourist venue. 

“This is so China,” I thought. 

To boil the past several decades of Chinese economic history down simply, China has lifted millions of people from starving to having disposable income (it can’t be understated how large of a feat this has been, though poverty is still a significant issue). When a population goes from “most people are so poor that everyone stays put” to “whoa, we have... money?? Um... let’s do fun stuff! Let’s go places!!”, this is what gives birth to the development of domestic tourism. And China, as you might guess, is chock full of amazing landscapes and historical locations. 

China got this great idea: Now that people are making money, let’s make them spend money, so we can make more money! 

China, more so than any other place I’ve been, will find any way it can to monetize a tourism destination. Is there a cool rock? Put a fence around it to obstruct the view, make people pay to see it. Is the lake too big to put a fence around it? Have Zhang Yimou make an “Impression” show there and have people pay to see that! Too big of an area to charge admission at each spot? Block off the whole area and add some nifty transportation options inside. No possible way to block it off because the historic area is in actual daily use? Call in the vendors, kids, we’re still going to make something off of this!

Yes, I’ve been to places with free admission, and often I only stopped in because they were free admission. And I rather liked a lot of those free places, yes. But in general, if you’re traveling to see something, you’re going to pay to see it, even if it means paying admission to even get closer to a village. 

But that means building stuff to justify it being something to see and spend money on. That means, with extra money suddenly available to you and/or pressure from above to make something snazzy and brag-worthy really fast, you build a lot of things. Domestic tourists have come to expect big fancy stuff, and construction makes this world (or at least this country) go round!

And then you do the press reports. Take some good pictures. Have people make a cool documentary. Welcome the tour groups, stay busy while the place is shiny. 

And then let it fall into disrepair.

There are many tourism facilities in China which are really, really nice, and kept that way. But there are also not only tourism projects finished and then abandoned, or slowed indefinitely partway. This is pretty “real.” It’s not just tourism; this is very “real” for a lot of China’s rapid economic development and construction projects, even entire new cities that they couldn’t get anyone to move into. 

So yes, by coming to Wuqiao Acrobatic World, you’re getting a very real experience of what modern day China is like, especially outside of the biggest cities or especially famous tourism facilities. 

But you know what makes that awesome? The people here were so much fun to interact with. 

Before leaving on my trip, I told some Chinese friends and coworkers where I was going, and they had never heard of Wuqiao. When I told them about it, some reacted in horror that I’m interested in acrobatics. “But it’s so sad,” one friend said. “The kids go through so much pain to train like that.” 

Yes, the performance arts and competitive sports worlds of China have a long and ongoing history of this. But I also really, really like watching circuses. If someone loves their art and works hard at it, then I want to watch them, I want to be impressed by them, I want to reward that hard work by giving it my attention. I’ve had some fun experiences in the past with helping backstage when grassroots level diplomatic groups of performers went to my college in the US or in the city I worked for in Japan, and I’ll never forget how spirited those Chinese contortionists were, and how easy they made being bendy look. 

So anyway. In all this preamble I haven’t even gotten to my travels yet. I took a morning train in from Tianjin and with only some little red tuk-tuk like cars with three wheels available for transportation, I went with a guy who gave me a ride for 5 RMB (about 77 US cents). He was a nice old guy who also picked me up later right on time for my return that afternoon. But, uh, one of the doors of the little vehicle wouldn’t close. 

It’s a short ride, but not really walking distance, especially if you only have about six hours to spend there. The town is still mostly farming community, on the platform of the train station you can watch people take care of sheep and stack up dry reeds. The town is hot and dry in summer with smooth traffic, wide roads, and no tall buildings. I arrived at the Acrobatics World on a weekday morning with no line to get tickets and enter. 

There were a few scattered people who stared and whispered (loudly), “Whoa, it’s a foreigner,” a phrase that after a while either bounces off of you completely or piles up on you so much that by the end of a trip off the beaten path you think your trapezius will snap if you hear it again. I found buildings under construction and a temple, and because many tourism facilities have temples built into them, I assumed I’d politely go straight through it. Not so! Turns out you go around this one, which I would have had no idea about had a woman not approached me and told me so. 

So, with no one in sight (an odd sight in and of itself at a tourism facility in China), I went hunting for the acrobats. 

I hunted a long time, saw a few people here and there. Passed a few people making noise in what looked like a wuxia version of a renaissance festival fairground, but according to the maps, I decided to press northward, looking for, well, whatever  it was I was looking for, or at least trying to figure out what all was there. 

Well, like, nobody, basically. A few people here and there, but mostly some lonely statues in various groupings around a wide park, some architectural pieces ignored and serving no purpose, some poorly kept animals (I chose not to check out the “Funny Zoo” area), but mostly big expanses of nobody. After living in a place like Shanghai for a while--a place unkind to introverts--you come to really appreciate those periods of nobodyness, and walking around this place had the same sort of bizarre allure of photos of abandoned, flooded shopping malls.

This would be such a great spot for hanfu photoshoots with nobody in your way! But I’d need someone to take the photos, something to wear in the photos, and a much better hair day than I was having on that whole trip. 

Anyway, based on the size of the building, I had assumed that I reached the “main spot” I was aiming for, whatever that was. 

This was a combination of performance space and museum, so I started at the museum. When I approached there were a couple women hanging out on the red queuing gates, not quite doing acrobatics, but not keeping their feet on the ground either. They were surprised to see me, and I asked if I could go in, and they were like, “um... okay,” and turned the lights on inside. I asked if I could take pictures, and they said yes. While enjoying myself in the first room of the winding exhibits, I heard them talking to each other and saying, “She asked if she could go in. Then she asked if she could take photos.” What I wish I would have overheard them saying would have been something like, “What the hell is she doing over here, doesn’t she know that the only action taking place in this whole facility is going on as scheduled over in the Jianghu Culture City ren-faire-ish-place?” But I heard no such thing, and enjoyed the museum in ignorance. 

As far as Chinese museums are concerned, they’re a very mixed bag, but I rather liked the contents of this simple, small one. Everything had good English translations--and by that I don’t mean clear and grammatical, but actually useful content that puts what you’re seeing into context. Here are a few bits I liked: 

Not all of the rooms were as interesting as others; and although I have a passing interest in how Chinese circus is used diplomatically, I didn’t have enough of one to stay in those exhibits for long. I was starting to get the sense that I was missing out on the performances. If I felt less rushed and was there with friends, however, I probably would have had a great time in this room, with this corner of traditional circus props, easily in arms’ reach and not mounted in place. 

Nothing said not to play with them, but nothing said that it was okay to touch them either. I decided to err on the side of doubt. After all, assuming such things in the past had lead me to get bitten by a penguin. 

Back to acrobats, I zoomed through the very empty painting and gift shop (if it can even be called that) rooms, where the people working there did not even look up from their phones. After that I found where they keep the horses (poor, skinny horses... let’s not even get to those bored, chained monkeys I saw later with nothing and nobody around to prevent a wandering tourist from walking right up to them--I imagine that could have been more disastrous than my encounter with the penguin). Then I found--what?? People??? What’s more, it was like a group of moms and a couple little kids watching some teens in capes on a round stage, the Red Peony stage. I asked if I could watch, and finally, these people told me what I wish someone would had told me in the first place: 

All the performances are scheduled in different locations. The Jianghu Culture City has the morning and late afternoon performances, and the northern buildings and horse track have the early afternoon shows. Ohhhhhh, no wonder. 

So I hurried over to where all the smart tourists and their group guides were; watching this guy. 

I only caught the tail end of his act, and from the looks of the stage he must had been smashing bricks with his face or something earlier, who knows. He climbed down the handles of the swords at the end of his act, but if I had gotten there earlier, I assume I would have seen something like this: 

Hmm. Not super sharp at tourist-reach, but still, ouch. 

Immediately after that everyone shuffled over to this tent for some other folk acrobatics by a little troupe: Some lovely ladies young and not-as-young, some burly men, a dwarf, and a guy from the audience picked out for the knife-throwing show who had the build, expression, and haircut of a circus performer himself. He was at the other shows that day too, so I don’t suspect he was a plant. Chinese men just have some weird haircuts, that’s all. 

Couldn’t really get good pictures in there, but you had a girl sitting on a chair balanced on a swinging trapeze, a routine with blocks complete with juggling and handstands and flips, the aforementioned knife-thrower who doubled as the clown of the show, a jar juggler who catches the big jar on his head and neck, a jar juggler who spins a much, much, much, much larger iron jar on her feet that three burly men needed to lift together, and this lady doing what you see here: 

A note here about those tour groups---they were overwhelmingly made up of middle age men. I did see a few families with small children, some younger couples, and a fair number of women mixed with the men, but the groups of men who all knew each other was striking. Maybe I just happened to go on a day when they were planning big outings, who knows. 

After that, there was a very, very small “performance” in this little back-alley area of the Jianghu Culture City, where there were many performance areas with signs stating the folk artist and their performing times, but with seating areas filled with, well, seats that they had probably pulled out of other areas and had not yet taken to the dump. 

That said, some of the area felt downright homey. I was the only person over there at first when a lady was about to do her sales pitch--I mean, “performance” explaining that they were selling fans decorated with the origins of the 100 most common Chinese surnames. Many of the men bought them for 30 RMB each ($4.61 USD). I got one for my roommate since her surname is rather uncommon, she hadn’t seen something like that before and found it interesting. 

Anyway, the lady there was very friendly, and insisted I put my heavy backpack down on her chair so I could relax while looking around (she also insisted I leave it there while enjoying my afternoon, but I declined). She would have been the right person to meet right away when I got to the park, she explained the whole schedule of the park (which I had mostly figured out by then) and helped me to plan how to make the best of my time left that afternoon, and she walked with me part way to the only place to get food in the whole area. She was on her way home for lunch, she said. Everyone working there is local and all the performers go home for lunch, except the director, who often has to show VIP guests around. Since she was so cheerfully talking about the place and clearly took pride in this being their local claim to fame (I got that sense from a few other people too), I considered asking if it was true that everyone could do at least a little acrobatics. I decided against asking, but kind of wish I had. 

If you do ever get there and want to make sure you get to the see every performance offered from the moment the park opens, you do have the option of staying at the Red Peony Hotel! This is really your only option for food anyway. The staff was very friendly (and not overly friendly, so I could thankfully eat my meal in peace!), though I can’t say the food or ambiance was anything special, even for a tourist facility. 

The fish sauce tasted like ketchup. 

It was a really long lunch break. I imagine that’s when wiser people would have walked around the odd groupings of statues and architecture of questionable purpose in the park, or gone to the museum to play with hula hoops and throw ceramic jars at each other. I went out to the empty horse track to reapply sunscreen, smell the nature, listen to birds, and gaze into the lotus pond. And frown at how skinny the horses were. 

The Red Peony theater opened at 1:30pm. There was a very small line; I was one of the first people there and got a good seat in a round theater that looked like it could hold up to 200 audience members. People continued to trickle in for 25 minutes. They were starting late that day, they said, blaming it on either having VIP tour groups who take their time or having foreign performers who take their time. For twenty minutes they played a Backstreet Boys song on repeat, and I looked at the apparatuses around the stage--a small Russian swing, three aerial hoops of different sizes, a couple silks, a triple-wheeled Wheel of Death (does it have a different name when three people are cheating death?) behind a curtain, a large net hung up out of the way, and some set pieces that looked like a wooden ship set to either side of the stage. After twenty minutes of Backstreet Boys they played the entirety of Hotel California before starting the show. 

They had signs forbidding photography and Yours Truly is a rule-follower even in China where these silly rules about video recording are flat-out ignored even at Cirque du Soleil performances, so I doodled the show on the train a few hours later. 

This was no Cirque du Soleil, let’s be clear about that. It was more like the community theater version of a Broadway show; everyone was doing their best but items were unintentionally dropped and costume pieces flew off, but everyone was encouraging because the kids were doing their best. 

Let’s look back at a few parts of that sentence:  1. Encouraging audience: Chinese audiences can be extremely frustrating to perform in front of, because they are so likely to chat among themselves or play on their phones--I charitably chalk this up to a cultural difference that historically elevates the pleasure of the audience over the hard work of performers, but it still drives me crazy in my current job that involves training kids to do things in front of audiences. That said, this works in another way--when a Chinese audience is engaged, they’ll be very, very engaged, and even if these performers were dropping their stuff, they still kept the audience’s attention and smiles and applause, so it’s all good. 

2. Their best: Sure, they weren’t the sort of performers I’d expect to see if I paid the big ticket price to go watch the Shanghai Circus, which is primarily geared toward foreign tourists. But they are still insanely skilled and have obviously poured hours and hours and hours of their life into this. Also, very importantly, many (but not all...) of them look like they truly enjoy it. As a point of comparison, I went to the Shaolin Temple eight years ago, and the whole little town of Dengfeng surrounding it was filled with schoolyards of boys from all over China studying there to fulfill their kung fu dreams. The boys in the temple, however, are often problem children sent there for discipline. I watched the show they put on, which the adults are full-on performers for. The boys also performed amazing stunts, but the whole time looked like they were sick and tired of tourists and having to do the same flips and feats every day. It was unintentionally funny to see such bored, sour looks on their faces as they were soaring through the air. The performers in this show did see themselves as performers and acted like it--though the expressions came much more naturally to some than others. 

3. Kids: Yeah, no two-ways about it, the vast majority of this cast looked very, very young. This includes both the foreign troupe and the local Chinese kids. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if none of the local performers in this show were adults. Even the stage crew looked like they were all teenagers. 

My friends’ words about “aren’t you sad for them, having to do all that painful training?” rang through my head during a couple of the performances in particular. The five contortionists smiled charmingly and performed without mishap, but I was very afraid that someone was going to break in one way or another. Their bodies shook with both unbalance and strain, and sitting that close to the stage, I could read some “uh oh” in their faces at times. The rollerskating show was charming at first with the pairings of what looked like high school boys with elementary school boys, all of whom kept a gracious performer’s attitude the whole time, even with small mishaps. At the end of the act they spun the little boys around by cords on their necks (like the graceful aerial hoop duo had done in a less startling way). Despite being really impressed, my stomach churned with pity for them. 

The foreign troupe had quite a mix as well of veteran and less-veteran performers, and some mishaps here and there, but overall good shows. They seemed a little casual and self-managed, like one of the kids who performed earlier in the show snuck out into the middle of the audience later to watch his buddy and then sneak backstage again. I had to wonder about them too--how long were they going to be in Wuqiao? Did they go to other places around the world too? Did they choose the circus life, or did the circus life choose them? 

Before getting dragged too deep into wondering about the darker sides I know exist behind something I love watching perhaps a little bit more than the average person does, the clown came out. 

The very, very, very white, platinum blonde clown. 

She and the person in a polar bear suit did a charming, although not particularly funny or impressive routine, but what struck me most was how naturally she lit up being on stage, and that she might had been told in clown schools that she was “too pretty” to be a clown (something I recall hearing about happening to many young women who try to go into that). What was really captivating about this clown was that it was like she wanted more than anything to be a clown, and she looked like she was having the time of her life. 

At the end of the show the performers all came out to, well, not do a final bow persay, but wave at all the tourists on their way out to go to the “Home of the Demon Hand” theater across from the Red Peony Theater. I let things clear out before standing up, and the clown saw me, locked eyes, and very smilingly said, “AMAZING!!”

Amazing to see another lone white girl there, I’m sure. 

We were both on our way out in opposite directions, but we had the following conversation:  Me: Where are you from?  Her: Ukraine! Me (pointing to the guest performers heading backstage without her): Where are they from?  Her: (wild look over her shoulder, a look back at me, a giant shrug and nervous laughter)

We waved and then went our separate ways, but I wanted to say, “Come back here, girl, give me your life story.”

Instead I went to the next show and squeezed into what I thought would give me a good view of the sleight-of-hand tricks that old’ Demon Hand was apparently famous enough for to have his own theater hall. 

The 74-year-old man in a silk outfit (the top of which he later took off to prove he had nothing up his sleeve) and ponytail started the show by very, very firmly insisting on no photographs, but they had the option of getting a logo’d photograph with him before the show. A small crowd of people, mostly middle age men but a spunky younger woman too, went up and forked over their cash. 

To be honest, I got really irritated for the first ten minutes or so of the show. He was a gifted performer, yes, but he was more of an improve comedian who talked a big game (his sleight of hand tricks were impressive, yes, but they made up a very, very small portion of his show). Furthermore, I couldn’t see very well around the guy in front of me, so I had to lean forward and to the sides. It was so much trash talk with men in the audience that I couldn’t follow very well (my Chinese is good, but not enough to understand all the humor), and it wasn’t very possible to stand up and leave without calling a huge amount of attention to myself. 

Call attention to myself I did anyway. 

As part of his goading the audience, he invites skeptics to come crowd around him and watch him closely to verify his tricks. I stayed put, not really in the mood for all the talk and just wanting to see some impressive tricks to justify my staying put. Well, he saw me, and pointed everyone’s attention in my direction, and I had to announce where I was from, and he ordered me down to his side to watch. 

So I sat directly next to him and had to play along with the “I’ll show you some real Chinese kung fu!” bravado and do my best to answer any quick questions he shot at me to answer, like “how many are under the cup?”. 

He made some men bet their cigarettes on a few tricks, and was accumulating a stack of cigarette boxes on the table. The number of people standing, sitting, and squatting around him dwindled. I awkwardly stayed put because I knew he’d call me out if I tried to escape, so better that I stayed there and ready to quip back the next time he quipped something at me. And yeah, I totally had a better view of the tricks and could appreciate them a lot more from the table-eye view, so it was my luck that I was the one foreign face in the room. 

Toward the end of the routine he dared anyone in the rowdy audience to come sit in his chair and do the tricks themselves to make a bet. No one did. 

He told me to sit in the chair. 

I half-way expected that. Thankfully I can play along well as the casual “I just came here to have a good time, I don’t know what you’re making me do and I never asked for this, but okay, tell me what to do” young foreign beauty* there to make the show more interesting for the audience. 

*(This is how the locals describe me, and they often insist on taking photos with me. Often without permission. Often when I am looking my worst from days of backpacking in hot weather with tired looking skin, extremely unruly hair, and practical although unflattering outfits.)

He asked me to place a bet, but I think we had some difficulty understanding each other’s Mandarin, because he’s got a thick local accent and I have a foreign one. 

Him: You don’t smoke, do you? Place a bet for something else.  Me: Me? Him: What do you want? Food or something?  Me: ...how about something sweet?  Him: Money!? Me: No, sweets... Him: No no no, we can’t do money. Come on, there’s no point if you don’t bet anything. Hmm. Tell you what. If you win, I’ll make you my ghdrtsmplwssz.  Me: (His what???)

I have no clue what he said. My guess is something along the lines of either “disciple” or “bride.” 

Well, the coolest part was that he had me hold one little styrofoam ball in my hand, and next thing you know, I had two of them in my hand, and that was pretty impressive, enough to make the whole show’s worth of trash talk worth the experience. 

And then he had me stand up with him and he thanked me as the audience applauded, and he introduced me as his ghdrtsmplwssz, everyone clapped, and then he hugged me a few times from different angles so a couple sides of the audience could see my face. I played along with a wide-eyed “what the hell is going on, save me” look. 

And then he went in for the smooch. 

I can do the “pure innocent maiden who blushes at the sight of a man’s lips” routine really well. Plus, practicing martial arts makes me really fast at blocking incoming attacks like this that I have faced at a few times throughout my life, so the dramatic hand in the air, lean backwards, and turned maidenly face were all automatic rather than calculated. 

We repeated this a few times, with the lean getting more comically pronounced each time. He tried to insist that this is what they do in America (like the hug), but my maidenly virtue won out in the end, and he graciously played it off and gave me the send off back to my seat in the audience. Sorry dude, I’m stubborn about kissing strangers.

After that was the horse show. I skipped it and went back to the Jianghu Culture City to catch some of the repeats of morning shows I missed. 

Which was really only one. A lady saw me walking around and tried to help me plan where to be at the right time, in a helpful, non-pushy way (I am so grateful when I get this mix of helpful and non-pushy). The only other show I had time to see was Chuipotian, the suona (horn) performer. His bio introduces him well: 

It was a short show with just a few audience members, including a couple women who wanted photos with me and a girl who looked around one year old who kept wandering off so her dad had to chase her while mom enjoyed the show. I found his crosstalk with the audience a lot more enjoyable than Demon Hand’s, though I had to stay on my toes to make responses here too. 

As for the sound of the suona, it’s like a screaming duck. If you’ve ever seen Beijing Opera, you can probably recognize its sound. (I don’t think it’s used as much in southern opera styles. On that note, I find southern styles more melodic.) It was a fun cacophony of a show. 

He mostly used smaller ones, this just makes for the funnest photo. He also included some non-instrument related tricks, like taking a lit cigarette from someone and doing tricks with the smoke, swallowing the cigarette, and pulling it out of his ear, still lit. All while reminding you that smoking is harmful to your health. 

Immediately after the show, the ladies with him pulled me aside and started teaching me his catchphrase. They caught on through the crosstalk and a little conversation before the show that I’d be a good person to do a little social media routine for them, saying “(Something I could not for the life of me understand but sounded catchy), he’s the real deal from Wuqiao, CHUIPOTIAN!” After rehearsing it several times to make sure I got it right, and the woman in red holding the camera directing me to just be big and fun with it, we recorded it with me standing next to him, looking into the camera, and pointing at him. They were all very pleased with my good work and looked forward to uploading it. 

They were super nice and fun to talk to (there weren’t any other immediate performances to watch while everyone else was still at the horse show), and Chuipotian gave me his business card so we could be friends on WeChat, but within ten minutes of taking my leave I dropped it. Good thing I’m not a juggler. 

My friend the 5 RMB driver with the one functional door met me right at the appointed time, and people chilling at the train station were also very aware of me. They were a great mix of kind and looking out for me, but not all up in my business. I appreciate it greatly. 

And then I left on a crowded, cheapest-seat car of a train that would take over three hours to reach Tianjin. I had enjoyed the day and all the people I got to interact with the (even old Demon Hand, I guess), but being an introvert, I was grateful to have the chance to chill and make the above doodles in my notebook. 

But then people figured out I understand Chinese and started chatting with me. 

For three straight hours. 

To be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve been in the position to play a vehicle of foreign exchange for hours and hours at a time, and it can be fun, but it’s such a relief when you can rest. 

And rest I did, on the night train I switched to in Tianjin to get to my next stop on the trip. I slept pretty well for it being on the cheapest berths, stacked three-high with little more than the average Chinese man’s body width. After maneuvering on the top berth with my heavy backpack, I felt like a pretty good circus performer myself. 

[booksandtea]

So its been a hot minute since I posted my main YALC Wrap Up and Haul post which I made sure to only focus on the negatives and I mentioned within it how there would be a follow up.

It is finally time for said follow up and I hope I didn’t leave it too long. My anger and frustration may not be as strong as it was that weekend, but its still there and I’m definitely not the only one.

2017:

I first attended YALC last year and I had a pretty awesome and over whelming time. One of the best things was the Showmasters staff often took recommendations from us attendees on which authors would gather a large queue so they could be prepared in advanced to start virtual queueing for us. This made everyones day easier and attendees happier.

From what I can remember (like I said I was v overwhelmed that year and I can’t even tell you who I met now) the biggest complaints were about accessibility; too many run-for-the-ARC twitter announcements, too many “do something silly” for an ARC, and not enough seats.

I know for a fact that because of this Lucy-May, and possibly others, got in contact with Showmasters and publishers to get these issues sorted for this year. I believe everyone promised changes would be made.

Publishers:

The publishers definitely listened to our complaints. ARCs were a lot more accessible for attendees. There were set times for ARC drops so people knew in advance, raffles, lucky dips, giveaways, and lastly purchase a finished copy and get an ARC in return.

However, a few publishers ended up giving the ARC away before the set time.

On one hand I understand this, if you know the amount of copies you have available and you can see the queue is already double that it makes sense to limit people’s disappointment if they’re joining the back of a queue.

Understandably this left some of us disappointed when arriving 5-10 minutes before only to find out it had already been done. Most publishers handled this fine so this complaint isn’t to them.

But this did lead to people turning up earlier and earlier for the giveaways which y’know makes sense, but not gonna lie some pubs didn’t seem happy about this situation.

Other than this though I haven’t seen any other complaints in this area, off the top of my head at least.

I will happily say that all my interactions with publishers were lovely, but I have definitely heard the odd upset attendee here and there.

Goody bags:

Now we get to the major complaints and concerns though.

And these all come down to the Showmasters staff.

This is under four areas; seating, queuing, “goody” bag, and lack of information.

We’ll start with the straight forward issue of the goody bag. Last year we were given a tote bag that we could collect any time during the weekend and most of us got it signed too.

However, this year we weren’t allowed to collect it until Sunday. I was told it was due to items not being ready for it, but on when I did get it on Sunday all it had inside was the weekends schedule and two postcards… that was it?

So like, what didn’t they have?

Last year, when getting my tote bag signed I also got it signed by a few authors whose books I didn’t have but had some interest in and it was great to get to speak to them about their work regardless of the fact I didn’t have the books. So I missed out on these type of interactions this year due the lack of my “goody” bag.

Could I have gone with something else? Sure. I had 2 authors sign my bujo whilst I spoke to them but mostly I just felt awkward going out-of-the-way to say hi when I didn’t have something for them.

But now onto the more important things.

Seating:

Seating was seriously lacking last year and there was hardly any improvement this year. According to Fi @ Bookish Outsider when she raised this concern at the end of last year she was told that there had been adequate seating. This year she armed herself with photographic evidence of the area and lack of seats. She will have a post up to document her time there this year at some point. She has told me that in September she’ll have a post going live with her concerns too.

It’ll be interesting to read her post and see the response given this year. As I’m not a priority for needing seats I didn’t really seak them out but I didn’t seen any dotted around which would’ve been handy…

(Please note that last year I seriously hurt my knee from constantly sitting on the floor and standing up, this year I kept that in mind whenever doing this to avoid the pain again. Mostly it helped)

Queueing & Lack of Information:

Now we get onto queueing and lack of information. These two really go hand in hand.

First up I’ve seen a few people not know they could get the extra help wristbands until the day of, particularly those who were attending for the first time. This needs to be better advertised and highlighted. I don’t really have a way to make this so other than perhaps a prompt when purchasing tickets to see if the customer is in need of them? I know that next year for sure I’ll do my best to tweet about this before hand to remind people.

Not that it really mattered if you did have the extra help wrist band as plenty who did were refused the help. A few of the Showmasters staff told those with the wrist bands they would have to wait their turn as it was unfair on others, or to at least wait until their virtual queue ticket bracket was called. Both of which really counteract the importance of the extra help wrist band.

As I mentioned earlier last year the staff were happy to listen to our recommendations on who’s queues would have a big turn out but this year we were told “its not up to us” or “no we aren’t ticketing for this” even when the queues already filled the width of the event space. (Only to then ticket 20 minutes later because the queues were unbearable).

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have to queue, just that why can’t it always be efficient? If you have a system in place to help those with extra help bands and other attendees then why aren’t you utilising it?

Like there are multiple things to do at any given time so it would seem odd to spend the full day in a queue, no?

I ended up missing out on a signing due to this because my mental health was making me get very anxious about the stalls we were blocking and I was generally dizzy from the heat and standing still.

This isn’t the only area where queueing and lack of information failed, because, you know the workshops that are held too? Well I got told that you had to sign up for them at the start of the day but I was also told that it was first come first served in the queue for them…

I know people missed out on these because of this very contradictive information. I did manage to attend one that I signed up for near the start of the day but yes there were people in the queue waiting for it who didn’t know/were told they didn’t have to sign up.

It was frustrating and they just needed to be sure everyone had the same information and training. It’s this lack of communication that caused these issues.

Other posts

As I mentioned I’m not the first to have raised these issues so here are other bloggers who have addressed the issues at hand, possibly more eloquently than myself. Additionally this is a good indicator that this isn’t an “over reaction”, these are legitimate concerns.

Avery @ Red Rocket Panda | Beth @ iambookmad | Kirsty @ The Bibliophile Girl UK | Donna @ The Untitled Book Blog | Nicola @ Fantastic Book Dragon

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Dear YALC | A discussion on accessability So its been a hot minute since I posted my main YALC Wrap Up and Haul post…

[c9sneaksen-blog]

As Love is My Witness *slightly NSFW*

Author’s Note: This fanfiction is heavily based on As Love is My Witness, a song from Westlife. I’m not a fluent English speaker, nor this is my primary language, so I tried my best when it comes to grammatical rules, even if I used a spell-check software. I think there aren’t loads of OOCness and if so, I apologize in advance. It is also slightly NSFW due to the few swearwords and some explicit terms. Enjoy!

___________________________________________________________

Once in a lifetime

You look in someone’s eyes

And it feels like the world stop turning at once

            Zach remembers perfectly when he met him for the first time. Hai had decided few weeks earlier to step down from the Cloud9 roster because of his wrist issues. Several people had come to try out; including Alex Ich, Yusui and, last but not least, Incarnati0n. While the latter was introducing himself, his icy blue eyes fell upon the AD Carry’s hazelnut ones.

He never believed in long-lasting relationships; although he had dated a girl named Jennabella and had a somehow friends with benefits relationship with Meteos, the jungler, in their beginnings as a team. It was everything but serious.

“Hello, my name is Nicolaj Jensen, but you can call me Jensen. I’m from Denmark,” the skinny player nicknamed Incarnati0n had said.

That’s what it felt like for me

I knew right away this day would be

Standing together, believing forever

Is there in our reach

            Zachary had tried to push his feelings away, to deny them. But, day by day, he fell more and more in love with the Dane. But the 2015 Summer Split did not happen as well as the Cloud9 community had hoped. It was very shaky and inconsistent: Jensen always apologized when they went through losses, even if it was not necessarily his own fault. And even if they won games, he felt bad for his poor laning phase or even his creep score deficit.

‘Cause love is my witness

I swear

I’ll be with you till the end

            During those times, the whole squad, as well as Charlie and Jack, was doing its best to comfort their new midlaner when he fell in those moments of self-hatred. It was unfair for their newcomer to keep blaming himself. He did not deserve that. It was unhealthy. Towards the middle of the split, Meteos announced to Jack his need to step down from the team. Sneaky was, to say the least, surprised to hear this: he was fully aware that Nicolaj and William did not get along well. Because of issues related to the Danish player or not, the jungler quit the team.

Nothing in tear this love apart

I’ll put my head upon my heart

This is the promise I’ll make to you

Whatever comes we’ll see it through

            Hai came out of retirement and replaced Meteos during the last few weeks of the split. They were on the verge to be relegated, something which would have been unthinkable for some. However, their win over Team 8 in a tiebreaker had prevented such a thing. Thanks to their Championship points from Spring, Cloud9 was able to attend the regional qualifiers for Worlds. They successfully won their series against Gravity Gaming, Team Impulse and, lastly, Team Liquid.

“We are going to Worlds!”, Jack excitedly told his team members at the end of the third day, feeling relieved.

Nothing can break it

This feeling’s too strong

‘Cause love is my witness

            Later that day, they flew to South Korea, in order to go to their bootcamp. The members streamed regularly, especially Sneaky and Jensen, who duo-queued lot together. Jack had noticed drastic changes in the Dane’s personality: throughout the split, he became more and more confident with his aggressive playstyle, and he meshed well with his teammates.

“Someone told me my girlfriend is so hot. Is that you?”, the European player asked, a grin on his face.

“There’s no other lesbian ADC in the NALCS. So yeah, same”, his teammate replied, chuckling.

However, this year, no NA team had made it past the groups stage, due to the week 2 curse. But going to Worlds was already an achievement for Cloud9. They were the team from North America that was at the seventh place in the regular season and, yet, they had the most wins than any other team from their region. Jensen’s father had even attended a couple of his son’s games during those two weeks: a huge feeling of pride was surrounding him.

We’ve both known sorrow

We have known heartache

When our dreams for tomorrow

Seem so far away

            Even if Zachary was still in touch with Will, it still hurt him to not see him around anymore. They had played within the same team during more than two years together, you can’t forget a relationship like that one. It hurt him to let his fans down. But he couldn’t really tell them “Yeah, Meteos and I fucked around for months. How are we doing now? Well, I’m in love with someone else” either.

But that brought us closer – yeah

It brought us together

So that we’d know the real thing

That’s why I can yeah – ye-eh-yeah

‘Cause love is my witness

I swear

I’ll be with you till the end

            Jensen and him were close but he couldn’t quite figure out whether the glances they exchanged were ‘no homo’ or not. Off-season always hit the player from Florida the worst: he could hardly deal with distance without feeling broken inside. Of course, they called each other every few days or so but, to Sneaky, it wasn’t enough.

He was addicted to his European teammate, who was always bringing candies from Denmark when he was back in NA. Candies that Sneaky loved, even if they were for all the team.

Nothing in tear this love apart

I’ll put my hand upon my heart

This is the promise I’ll make to you

Whatever comes we’ll see it through

Nothing can break it

This feeling’s too strong

‘Cause love is my witness

            Before the following split, LemonNation had quit his position as a support in order to become a coach for the team. Hai was known as a versatile player, so he filled in his role, and Rush from Team Impulse, was brought in as a jungler. The Korean player had a great synergy with his midlaner, but it didn’t have a negative impact on the others. Indeed, the newcomer from the team often played SoloQueue with Sneaky and Jensen during some evenings. One night, when Sneaky was streaming, he and Jensen were playing in the botlane. The former was playing Vayne and the latter Orianna… but as a support.

“I swear it works, I tried it out few days ago!”, the Dane had tried to justify, unsuccessfully.

“Be careful what you wish for, Yensen” the ADC added, mockingly. “If we lose, we’re gonna go to Starbucks for a date!”

“So… we mustn’t lose. Hopefully your laning phase can be decent this time, Senpai!”

I know whatever comes to be

Together we’ll face the mystery

Here in my heart, deep in my soul

Somehow I know, I know

‘Cause love is my witness

I swear

I’ll be with you till the end

            They had indeed lost that game. So here they were, having a hot date in Starbucks. When it came to the hot drink called coffee, they were polar opposites. As a matter of fact, Sneaky loved coffee with vanilla and plenty of cream whereas Jensen preferred black, plain, coffee.

“How can you drink that piece of shit? It’s undrinkable as fuck!”, the blond-haired male whined.

Jensen did not answer; he only shrugged with a wide smile on his lips.

            Prior the Summer Split, Rush left NA in order to come back to his home country. One of his prior teammates from Team Impulse whose name was Impact, the 2013 Worlds champion, replaced Balls in the toplane. Due to this change, the jungler slot was once again empty: Meteos went back in the team, even if he was rather reluctant with the idea.

Jack had even managed to convince Edward Gaming’s coach, Reapered, to train the team during their mid-season Korean bootcamp. The latter enjoyed the team so much that he ended up dropping his contract with EDG and decided to coach the North American team instead. BunnyFuFuu and Smoothie were both supports, exchanging whenever it was needed. Another gauntlet, another trip to Worlds. This time, they had managed to qualify for quarterfinals but lost against Samsung Galaxy from South Korea in a swift 0-3 trend.

Nothing in tear this love apart

I’ll put my hand upon my heart

This is the promise I’ll make to you

(This is the promise I’ll make to you)

Whatever comes we’ll see it through

Nothing can break it

This feeling’s too strong

‘Cause love is my witness

            A new season happened. Ray, from APEX Gaming, became Impact’s substitute and, a seventeen-year-old player, Contractz, was playing in the jungle. Thus, Meteos was out of the main roster, again, as well as Bunny.

     ��      Cloud9 went through ordeals this year: starting with Jensen’s mispositioning during a crucial teamfight in the last game of Spring Split Finals, being one of the main reasons they lost, followed by a tough 0-2 weekend during the first week of Summer, Ray being hit with depression shortly after Rift Rivals and, last but not least, their elimination from playoffs in quarters against Team Dignitas after six straight wins. Yet, Japanese people often say, “fall seven times and stand up eight”. They had three weeks to prepare for the Gauntlet and, maybe, have a shot at attending Worlds. This year, however, they were the final boss. One series and they were in. Or out. After a 3-1 win over Counter Logic Gaming, they played some Korean SoloQueue before actually going to China. Sneaky and Jensen had even found Rush at some point.

            Thanks to SKT, they were once again in quarterfinals, nicknamed as NA’s latest hope before getting out of groups. In spite of their bitterness for losing 2-3 against Team WE, they were glad of making it that far. Once back in NA, Sneaky waited a couple of days before resuming his stream: only Contractz and him were left in the gaming house. But it was only a matter of time before they both left in their respective families as well.

Nothing can break it

This feeling’s too strong

‘Cause love is my witness

            It was during the middle of the month of December when the players were back in Santa Monica: they had to release a video about their 2018 roster a couple of days later. Sneaky was playing Super Mario Odyssey on his computer when someone knocked onto the wall. Much too focused on his screen, he did not hear the door opening, mostly due to his lack of answer.

“Okay, I’m back from a fifteen-hour-long flight so I could see my Snacky and all I see is that he’s more interested in video games than his aesthetic best friend. BibleThump”, the voice said in a sad tone.

“Yensen?” the marksman asked, raising his eyebrows and turning his back from the computer.

“Yeah, it’s me, dumbass. I got some candies from Copenhagen, by ze way!”

“Candies?” Zach frenziedly repeated. “Count me in! That’s so SneakyGasm by ze way.”

            The AD Carry took his headset off and hugged deeply his friend. Jensen was wearing his Veigar hat, one of his birthday presents from last year: he was still as skinny as Fiddlesticks and his light blue eyes were glimmering.

“Wow, who would’ve thought I had such an effect on you?”, the Slavic male teased.

“About that… I – I think there’s something we need to talk about”, the latter answered in a serious tone. “Like I – I am fucking in love with you. It – it’s not even some ‘no homo’ stuff or whatever. I’m dead serious, Nicolaj. Say something, please, even if it’s not mutual: your silence is killing me.”

“I – jeg elsker dig, Zach. I want you. I love you and your lesbian hair”, the midlaner ended up replying.

“Wow. Never thought it would take us so much time. Anyway, wanna take a welcome back pic? And with a caption like ‘my Danish lover is finally back from home’ or something like that?”, Zach asked, brushing his hand through his hair, his face slightly blushing.

“Sounds FeelsGoodMan to me. Damn, I missed you so badly,” his boyfriend agreed. “You should travel to Copenhagen with me someday.”

[rollercoastergal]

Work Training, Part 2

On Sunday of training, we had 2 of our new hires come in. (One was actually there for Saturday afternoon.) We were supposed to have 4, but I’m not completely sure what happened to the other 2. The leads were saying something about one of them already wanting to transfer departments.Our area manager, “Jeremy,” brought up a completely new girl, “Shelly,” to get trained as we were getting started. We had someone check the gates and someone check the tunnel. We put the ride into block check mode, started the lifts, and sent the 1st train out for the ride to stop it on lift 1. The panel (main set of buttons, usually situated at the front of the train/car, and, at least at my park, the one with the microphone) person and the enable (other, smaller set of buttons) person tried to bring the 2nd train into the station from the ready brakes, which is right behind the station. It wouldn’t move. It was a little chilly, and the ride doesn’t like the cold very well. Giraffe dispatched for a supervisor to call us to see what they wanted us to do, either call downtime and have the maintenance people take care of it or if we could push it ourselves because that’s all it really needed. The supe that called said he would bring our department manager, Jay, by to help out. The 2 of them came by with our female area supe , “Mary,” and a managerial supe, “Eve.” While the panel and enable operators pressed their buttons, the supervisors pushed the train. And, success! We got it into the station. They left, and we were able to continue on with safeties.

It was what they call an “emergency procedure” day, which is where we get practice with downtime (technical difficulties) situations. I had forgotten about this when Eve came back around the time we were finishing safeties. She asked if anyone wanted to ride. Four of us got on. “Connor” was in the very front. “Dave” was 2nd car 1st row. I was right behind him. “Hailey” was in the 4th car. Connor’s a goofball. He was being crazy Saturday as well as before this on Sunday. Even as we were on our way out of the station, he had his arms straight up and kept wooing. We go through the transfer area and start up lift 1. Then we stop. That’s when I realized that it was planned. That’s why Eve was there and asked if anyone wanted to ride. Jack was on lift and had to come down and talk to us as if we were guests. Our area supervisor who responded to the downtime, “Dan” came up with our female lead, “Kelly.” Dan explained to us that we were having technical difficulties and they were going to unload us, starting from the back of the train. Hailey was helped off 1st, then me, then Dave, and finally Connor, who was really disappointed we didn’t get to ride the whole thing. When we got down and outside the gate, we had to give our “names” to Giraffe. It’s a liability issue when we have guests getting unloaded, in case anything were to happen to them, then at least we’ll know if they were actually on the ride or not. Connor told Giraffe his name was Mick Lovin. Giraffe had been looking down at the paper, but looks up with a slight grin and says, “What?” Connor replied, “First name Mick. Last name Lovin.” Usually when we have to do an emergency unload (any unload that’s somewhere besides the station), the supervisors will give the guests a ride exit pass, which is like our fast pass-type virtual line queuing system, except it’s a piece of paper that’s good for 1 use to enter through the exit (or appropriate fast pass entrance). Our exit passes were vouchers to use at the pizza place on the other side of the park for a combo (pizza slice and salad or cheese bread) for $3. We had to wait for lunch, though, so we got more cycles in.

After lunch, we started training at the kiddie rides. We all started out as a teacup-type ride, but then Giraffe took 4 of us to a plane ride while leaving the other 4 with Kelly at the teacup ride. One of the supes came by to say that Kelly’s group could go down to the funnel cake stand for free funnel cake, and in a bit, my group could go. We kept going with our cycles and decided we didn’t want to go down. Dan came back and said it was like a 30 minute wait. When Kelly’s group came back, they said it wasn’t even that great of funnel cake. (From my 2 years in food service, I do know that you have to get the ratio of dry mix to liquid just right for them to turn out well.) My group finished the plane ride before Kelly’s group finished the teacups. We went over to the Samba balloon ride (you can look up any of these ride types on wikipedia if you’re not sure what I’m talking about), when we finished the planes. Finally, we did the teacups. We got to go over to test, and Kelly’s group came later when they were finished. I think the Sky Coaster people were still looking for fliers, but I was kind of ready to go at that point.

[zipsiii]

I ask you to answer 1-100 go!

1. What's your middle name, and do you like it?

It's Inkeri. I don't really have any strong feelings about it

2. are you artistic?

nooo. the most artistic thing I can kinda do is makeup.

3. Have you had your first kiss?

yes

4. What is your life goal?

to be in a situation where I don't have to stress about money

5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person?

I met Vic Fuentes when I was queuing for their gig in 2013. It was freezing cold so he couldn't take photos with us all but he took one group photo and posted it on his instagram. 

6. Do you play any sports?

nope

7. What's your worst fear?

idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8. Who's your biggest inspiration?

is it wrong if I say Harry Styles

9. Do you have any cool talents?

well I can sit on the couch for two days straight without doing anything special, if that counts

10. are you a morning person?

hell no. I can wake up early if I have to but I prefer not to.

11. How do you feel about pet names?

they're okay I guess

12. Do you like to read?

I do though I've been in a reading slump for a while

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

Queer as Folk, Supernatural, Skam, Charmed, Moomins... 

14. Do you care about your follower count?

not that much anymore

15. What's the best dream you've had?

the one where I had my life figured out

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

yes

17. Do you have any pets?

nope

18. Are you religious?

no

19. Are you a people person?

definitely no

20. Are you considered popular?

no

21. What is one of your bad habits?

overthinking

22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable

not knowing simple things 

23. What would you name your children?

idk some cool name

24. Who's your celebrity crush?

atm it's Cody Rhodes

25. What's your best subject?

//

26. Dogs or cats?

both, the more the merrier

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

twitter

28. best friends name

//

29. who does your main family consist of

Mom, dad, and a brother

30. Chocolate or sugar

both ofc

31. have you ever been on a date?

yes

32. Do you like rollercosters?

I don't have strong feelings

33. Can you swim?

yes

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?

I'd like to say that I'd try to survive as long as possible but that might be a lie

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder

yes

36. Are your parents together?

yes

37. What's your favourite colour?

Purple

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

Finland

39. Favourite singer?

There's too many to list

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

nope

41. Do you like dresses?

omg yess!!

42. Favourite song right now?

Kingdom by Downstait and Dust Into Diamonds by Lovex

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

depends who I'm talking about it with

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

9 I think

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

no

46. Have you ever done yoga?

yes and I love it

47. Are you a horror girl?

no

48. Are you good at giving advice?

hehe no

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

can't be bothered

50. How are you doing today?

good

51. Were you a cute kid?

probs, idk

52. Can you dance?

no

53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing?

tumblr

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

yes, I don't have purple hair naturally

55. What colour are your eyes?

green

56. What's your favourite animal?

any animal

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

too many times to count

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

it's pretty good

59. Do you have good friends?

yes

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

well I'm pretty close with myself

61. What's your favourite class?

any class that ends before it's supposed to

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

Criminal Minds, Supernatural, Code Black, Vikings, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Quantico, HTGAWM, Modern Family, Travelers 

63. Are you organized?

I try to be

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

Kingsman and I looove it

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

idk

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

anxiety and laziness

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

watching tv probably

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

eternal life sounds horrible so I'd find a way to die 

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

go running or go to the gym

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

probs many thing

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

yes

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

I don\t even remember cause it's been so long

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

safety

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

studying

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I didn't really have a dream job as a kid but I think I wanted to be a teacher at some point

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

what dreams

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

//

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence

Study and graduate.

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

productive

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

As I already said, I'd try to find a way to die

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

charity and kickstarters

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

past

85. What motivates you to succeed?

the fear of failure

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

idk I never remember my dreams that well

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

in the city

88. Do you believe in life after death

no

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

none

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

gardening with my parents

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

Louis Tomlinson

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

a very good pro wrestling match

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

that life isn't fair

94. What do you think happens after we die?

hopefully we just die and nothing happens

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

I'd find out all the Larry secrets

96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try?

run a marathon

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

what kinda question is this

98. How did your first crush develop?

as if I remembered my first crush

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Yeah, the feeling that I'm just a huge disappointment to all

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

do I exist. Am I real. No one knows

[witsyo]

Reinne 2

Alright, I just decided to go ahead and post these chapters, but again, the content of Reinne is rough. I will post about tougher chapters, but they’ll just be linked. Something to keep in mind about my writing is that I’m queuing everything way ahead of time in my Tumblr. If there’s ever a story that you really like, and you’d prefer to read it on my Ao3, hop on over and you’ll probably find completed versions of more than one of the stories currently in the progress of being posted here. 

Anyway, here’s Reinne, chapter 2.

~~~

Queen Basille winced as the laces at her back were pulled again, glancing over her shoulder to see Halle’s face set in a determined pout, gathering the ribbons tightly in her hands. Basille braced herself as the other tugged one more time, then tied the ends. When the hands left her, she groaned, slipping her hands down the cinched waist of the dress. Her hair was pulled away from her face, the similarly painful experience having resulted in a complicated pile of braids and curls.

Normally, she had servants specifically for each task, who’s poking and prodding was limited to their bravery of causing pain to the queen, but Halle had no such qualms.

“I understand that this is necessary,” Basille ventured, turning to see that Halle had crossed the room in order to arrange Basille’s bouquet of roses more carefully in their vase. She was a woman in her late fifties, greying hair swept into a careful bun and her clothes pressed and cleaned to perfection. As Basille spoke, she lifted a brow, unsuccessfully trying to disguise her smile. “But Halle, you really don’t have to pull so harshly.”

“You need to look your best,” she said, coming back to Basille and taking her hands in her own. “The talks of peace must succeed, you know that.”

“The Banamorans are going to declare a new war if I don’t have you to poke and prod me into the perfect example of feminine beauty?”

“No, but the king might.”

It should have been entirely unfunny, but Basille found herself laughing anyway. The woman was rarely incapable of putting her into a good mood, no matter the events that preceded her. “Have they already arrived?”

“They have,” Halle said, and Basille struggled for a moment with how to ask her next question.

“Do you think this will actually change anything?”

Before the other could answer, there was a knock on the door. Basille glanced back, calling out an “Enter!” before the door opened, emitting a familiar pale man. Malak's eyes were narrow, squinting into the room before his dark hair and lanky figure. He wasn’t much older than Basille herself, perhaps twenty-three at the most, and had been serving as her personal guard since she’d become queen. His voice was raspy as he greeted her, bowing quickly.

“I’m here to escort you to the throne room, your highness. The Banamoran dignitaries are ready to meet, and the king wishes you present to hear his plan of peace.”

“Thank you, Malak,” she said, grinning at him. She had her door guards, and men who filled the castle and the grounds, which made Malak’s job almost useless. On normal days, he was mostly there to accompany her outside the castle, and to make her look more impressive to visiting dignitaries, but in the years she’d grown to know him, he’d expanded his job of his own volition. The man really was dedicated to the queen’s safety, determined to make himself useful. “Is it a meeting of the court only, or may I bring--”

“I was instructed to bring you alone, my lady.”

That’s what she had expected, and she nodded quickly to Halle, smoothing down her skirts one last time as the other carefully placed her crown atop her head. “Good luck, your highness,” Halle murmured, and Basille smiled.

“Lead the way, Malak.”

Much of the inner court had already arrived before Basille swept into the room, the king sitting atop his throne and laughing with one of his advisors. Her chest tightened as she saw him, but she ignored the feeling as she took her place at his side. With her arrival, the advisors and lords began to take their own seats, a few greeting her quickly as they passed.

“Basille,” said a voice to her left, and she jumped, looking up at King Tyrrel. He seemed to be inspecting her, eyes jumping briefly to where Malak stood just behind the thrones. “Keep your head, if you would. These talks must succeed.”

“Yes, my lord,” she murmured, turning to face front and biting back a smug smile. The king may be an imposing man, but his hold on this kingdom was weak. If the war continued from his own petty mistakes, he would soon lose the support of his people. If it hadn’t meant the deaths of so many, she almost would have wished for it to continue.

“Watch your tone,” Tyrrel growled, and despite herself, Basille flinched.

Before either of them could continue, the doors opened, and the ambassadors stepped through. They had firm jaws, fire in their eyes, and Basille was shocked to see women among them. Three of them, to four men, in fact. She knew of their traditions, of course, but wouldn’t have thought them to be so bold. The women’s presence felt as though it was directed right at the king, a proverbial middle finger towards a kingdom Basille knew the Banamorans saw as being backwards and broken.

They bowed, almost in unison, and one of the women stepped forward. She had tightly coiled hair and dark skin, wearing trousers and a tunic like all of the other ambassadors. The tunic was emblazoned with the crest of Banamore, and her expression, though pleasant, was tight. “We bring well-wishes from our royal family, and formally greet you, Queen Basille, and you, King Tyrrel.”

The court murmured at her addressing their queen before their king, but Tyrrel silenced them with a look. “We welcome you with friendship, in the hope to mend ties between our great kingdoms,” he said grandly, inclining his head. “After the death of our great commander, we have found ourselves grieving as a land, and as king, I wish to put forth our goodwill.”

The woman bowed again in one smooth motion, then straightened. “I am Karline, head ambassador of state. Banamore also wishes to begin peace negotiations, but to be quite frank, your highness, we have no reason to believe that your promises are genuine.”

“I thought you might say that,” Tyrrel purred, ignoring the reignited murmuring of his advisors. He gestured to his left, and a man Basille knew stepped forward, ushering an unfamiliar woman at his side. The man’s name was Byron, and Basille had known him since she was a child. He had served in the army of her home city, moved to the palace about the same time she became queen to serve in the main forces of the royal guard. He’d been the general’s right-hand man for years, and had just been named to be his replacement a few days before.

The woman at his side, however, Basille had never seen before. Her chin-length hair curled around her face, a brown mess that was nearly black. Her eyes were soft and dark, jaw sharp and stance straight. If Basille hadn’t known any better, she would have assumed she was a soldier, with the men’s clothes she wore and the hard expression on her face. She looked to be about Basille’s age, certainly young, but not so young she didn’t treat the king’s next words with respect, bowing to the ambassadors.

“Allow me to introduce Reinne, the ward of our late General Karlen.” The Banamorans all looked at her doubtfully, but as Reinne straightened, she looked directly at Basille, the hardness in her eyes dissipating slowly as they inspected one another. Not seeming to notice either reaction, the king continued. “She is a rare thing in our kingdom, a woman trained in defense by the general himself. My soldiers have seen her grow up as a fighter, ready to protect her kingdom from any threat, and any one of them would attest to her capabilities.”

Was he… threatening them? Basille glanced away from the woman, taking in the expressions of the Banamorans. She had known of no such fighting woman, and wondered briefly why the king had allowed her training to continue. Perhaps it was one of his political plays, come to fruition at the most convenient time.

“I greet you most warmly,” Reinne said, voice clear and light. Basille looked back to her, fighting a smile as she caught the other glancing at her yet again. There were many rumors surrounding the queen, she knew, and not many outside the castle had ever even seen her.

Karline hesitated, then returned the greeting before returning her attention to the king. “I’m sorry, but what does this woman have to do with--”

“I am more than aware that in large part, the mending we will have to do between our kingdoms stems from our social differences,” Tyrrel said, gesturing for Reinne to join him and Basille on their platform. She obeyed, and he continued, standing to clap a hand onto her shoulder. “Reinne has agreed to stand as a symbol for our willingness to change. She is a trained woman, more than capable of providing protection. Thus, I have decided to assign her as a member of our personal guard, protecting my own dear wife, Queen Basille.”

The shock in the room was palpable, from advisors, dignitaries, and even Basille herself. She doubted that more than a handful of people had caught it, but her heart ached as she realized the slap in the face that the king was delivering. The Banamorans had no way of knowing, of course, just how empty of a position protecting the queen would be, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Tyrrel had purposefully intended for this so-called symbol of change to be such a mockery.

They still seemed hesitant, but after a long pause, Karline nodded. “We appreciate this gesture of goodwill. Reinne?” The woman in question lifted her chin, giving the dignitary her full attention. From behind her, Basille could see her fingers fidgeting nervously behind her back. Karline continued. “Do you give us your word that you are qualified for this position? That you are capable of protecting your queen to the fullest?”

Reinne’s fingers went still, clasping tightly together in determination.

“Absolutely.”