#on instruction she said pick an everyday object/ anything

[swingingcrab]

HBDSDVJBDJVDFF AHHHHHHHHHHH professor let me do my sociological imagination paper on tarot cards 

[yeolmae-s]

a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l

before anything else there are a few disclaimers i'd like to make:

i am writing this analysis right now because as a non exo stan i'm not into chanbaek that much anymore. of course i like them to some degree since i'm writing this and all but it's nothing in comparison to the way i felt about them two years ago. so i feel like it's easier to keep a less clouded (?) state of mind being where i'm at right now, mentally, in regards to them. i feel like i can look at things more objectively, which is why i decided to write this and share it with you all.

for all the smart asses out there, this is a ship analysis. yes, i’m reading too much into everything. that’s what an analysis is.

all translation credits goes to @/fyeah-chanyeol

i'm a chanyeol stan. this analysis will, most likely, have more information about him in comparison to baekhyun. this is simply because i consumed more content about him since he's my bias (such as magazine interviews, fancams).

i don't stan exo anymore, but it's not because of anything they did. i liked them for a long time and made a lot of different friends because of this fandom, therefore i experienced a lot of hurt, scandals, fights and didn't deal very well with many things, so i decided to leave. this didn't happen because of exo themselves and neither did it happen because of the fandom itself. it happened because of the relationships i had.

that being said, i haven't been following them closely for the past year and a half, but i still keep up with stuff a bit, although not chanbaek related stuff since i gotta dive in kinda deeper for that lmao. so this analysis is mostly in depth for 2012-2018. if anything that you perceive as significant happened after 2018 i'm more than willing to hear your opinions about it.

so, let's get started!!

MAMA ERA

I have always felt like Chanyeol and Baekhyun's relationship was strange. I started shipping them when they debuted and more specifically because of the 130128 ISAC. When I was younger I didn't see a lot to discuss in their ISAC interactions besides it being cute and shippy, but I've started to look at it differently now.

I think everyone knows how ISAC is known for being basically a stage for fanservice. The whole "dating ground for idols" issue aside, judging from the amount of attention they direct towards the fans who manage to attend the event, idols are clearly instructed to perform fanservice. EXO's first ISAC had to be full of it, obviously, and they did give fans a lot to be happy about, content we still get giddy about to this day, and I'm sure they were instructed to act like this to please us. I don't believe that fanservice equals "false interactions": if two individuals are talking, touching each other, they are interacting, even if it is a carefully planned setting made specifically for pleasing fans. They still get reactions out of one another through these interactions, it is still relevant to the way these people's relationship will develop; even though these acts are done with the intent of pleasing a crowd.

Don't get me wrong, though. I don't think the 2013 ISAC fanservice changed anything in Chanbaek's relationship. In fact, I just want to use it as a way to illustrate something I will explain later on.

To be remembered in an industry you must have an image. You won't be getting anywhere without a carefully constructed visual image. Marilyn Monroe is always used as an example of this: she's someone you can easily make a costume of and people will instantly recognize it as her. She's basically a concept by now: blonde hair, red lips and white hair. These aspects take our mind back to her instantly. Of course, most celebrities don't achieve this type of icon status, but it is still important to cling to a specific concept/image of what you want your celebrity self to be perceived as. Without this, you'll be forgotten as soon as your career ends.

When Chanyeol debuted, he clung to the first trait they gave him: being a happy person, a.k.a "happy virus". If you were not an EXO fan back in 2013 then it's likely you're not even aware of this nickname that was given to him, but it's basically just what it sounds like (lol). He was bright, energetic, had a "teeth rich" smile (another nickname that was given to him back then), was able to give 10/10 laughter reactions to MCs and to his members jokes, was always enthusiastic to interact and smile towards fans. He even introduced himself as "happy virus Chanyeol" in interviews (and later on that changed to "EXO's voice Chanyeol" or "EXO's rapper Chanyeol").

I feel like Chanyeol was very much aware of this "must have" that I mentioned, this need to have an image pasted into yourself and have that image be what people will remember you as. We're all complex and multifaceted individuals, but the general public needs something simple to grab on to, something easy to remember. That happy guy from EXO? I know who he is! I'm sure this is the path Chanyeol chose, back when he debuted: to pick a trait given to you by the public and make it a huge part of your image.

However, that image of him didn't last very long. It certainly became tiring to worry so much about how he was being perceived, to carefully construct something so his career would last, specially when his group had so many scandals and went through a sudden burst of popularity that changed their lives completely. By 2017, Chanyeol already had a change of mind in relation to his career, these changes being mostly due to how he felt about music and what he wanted to do with it.

He recognized himself as having always being impatient, which might be the reason why he clung to a specific image so fast right after debuting:

From Fall Magazine in 2017

"At the moment I just want to enjoy myself with the music as it comes, without feeling as though I have to do something. It isn’t a greed from impatience, I could call it more of a greed to do better."

"When I first debuted I thought I was very optimistic, but as time has passed I think a more reserved side of me is showing."

"I think I've grown in many ways. Maybe it’s because it’s as though I perform everyday, but the stage has become comfortable for me. Shall we say I’ve become more calm and composed? [...] I think I’ve become more mature."

He matured. He's still bright and energetic but he's also more reserved. He managed to keep up the fanservice that his fans adore in a way that is more fitting to his actual personality. It still is an image, but an image that's not as exhausting as his previous one, with its strict demands to act in a certain way all the time. I remember specific interview with MCs demanding him to smile (although jokingly, of course) saying things like "Aren't you EXO's happy virus?", so I'm sure he felt pressured.

This is interesting to think about when put side by side with his relationship with Baekhyun. Back when they debuted, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close friends that clearly felt comfortable with each other, and it isn't surprising to think that Baekhyun would be Chanyeol's first pick when he thought about doing fanservice with someone. Of course, I can't exactly pinpoint their first fanservice moment since I'm not a walking EXO encyclopedia anymore, but I can say with certainty that both of them felt like it worked as soon as they first tried it with the fans, and that's the reason why they kept doing it. Conveniently, they were both good friends, so all was good.

Until well, it wasn't.

At some point, Chanyeol's interactions with Baekhyun seemed too eager for Baekhyun himself. There are various moments where this is visible, such as this one:

Why are you grabbing my wrist out of nowhere young man........

Or...

That one pic where Jongdae, who was in front of them, looked so damn uncomfortable I can't even bring myself to google it

Of course, they had some over the top fanservice that did work out pretty well, such as this one, both of them imitating Jonghyun's and Taemin's Internet War stage, which seems a little scripted now that I look at it properly, with Baekhyun seemingly expecting Chanyeol to do whatever it is that he did on that day. (Can you imagine this: both of them backstage, watching Jonghyun's and Taemin's performance in silence, and one of them just blurts out "We should do that too!". What the fuck was going on)

By the way, if you have never seen the original Internet War performance, you can watch it here.

This is what they were imitating.

Tumblr won’t let me upload the gifs for this moment for some reason, so here and here.

You can't tell me Baekhyun wasn't expecting it already, lol.

Now, know what this moment reminds me of? ISAC. On their Internet War imitation moment, Baekhyun seemed fine, playful, even, agreeing. During ISAC, however, doing basically the same thing again (this time on a lighter way even; since they weren't, you know. Imitating a strong performance such as Internet War.), he appears reluctant. It's a bit painful to watch.

What changed? The ISAC event happened a few months after the SMTOWN concert where they did the Internet War thing, so what made things become so different?

If this has enough likes I’ll make a second part!

[wiypt-writes]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch9: Lebanon, Lebagone  

Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary:  A few months post their reconciliation, Jake and Stella run a mission with the rest of the team…

 Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson

Warnings: Bad language, Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Word Count: 8k ish.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. We do not own any characters in this series bar Stella Stevenson and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: So the mission detailed here was highly inspired by the second book in the Grey Man series. Locations and a few major details are changed, and the names are completely made up.  The Terrorist/Political party- The Lebanese Freedom Party, does not to our knowledge actually exist.

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 8 

 “Alright, let’s get in position before daylight hits.” Clay looked around as they walked down the narrow alleyway.

“Roger that.” Stella nodded as Cougar replied with a tip of his hat to show he had heard, Pooch also inclining his head.

The four of them stopped by a door to their right, Stella pulling the tool from her utility belt which was fastened around the waistband of her camo pants. She picked the lock in under thirty seconds, a simple job that required a little bit of jiggling, twisting and a good jerk with the torque wrench Cougar was holding to defeat.

“Not particularly high security considering this was a bank.” She mumbled as behind her Cougar chuckled.

Inside it was pitch black, dust rose in clouds, shimmering in the moonlight, which was streaking through the dirty arched windows. Both of them flipped out their flashlights, quickly scanning the room for any sign that someone had been here recently, but there was none. 

They crossed quietly and quickly through the main atrium of the old building, taking care to keep to the shadows. The old bank was completely deserted bar a few desks and old telephones which sported thick layers of dust as they moved through, heading for the spiral staircase at the far side.

“We’re clear.” Pooch said as he looked up to the top of the staircase. “This place hasn’t been accessed for years.”

“Lima Six, anything to report?” Clay spoke into his radio and a moment later Jensen replied.

“Nothing on the comms, they’re talking about moving Kilo One out at the time we suspected but it could be a rouse to make sure…but Lima Two knows the code-word should they decide to go early.”

“Okay, as soon as you get movement let me know.”

“Ten-four, One.”

“Okay, let’s get set up.” Clay instructed and the team nodded in agreement as they all set about, placing various pieces of equipment around the place exactly where it needed to be for when their target and his security detail, in which Roque had embedded himself undercover, came storming into the pre-designated building, seeking refuge from an attack outside.

It took them roughly an hour to set up completely, things having to be precisely as Pooch directed. Eventually, when he was happy, they climbed the staircase at the back of the room. Four sets of eyes swept the square below. It was deserted, as was to be expected at such an early hour in the morning.

Stella scanned the buildings, nevertheless, her eyes sharp, looking for any sign of movement around the whitewashed and pebble-dashed sandstone that they had grown accustomed to seeing over the last three weeks or so they’d been in Nabatieh, Lebanon.

“So Khalil should be coming from there.” Pooch raised his arm and pointed to a small road to the right. “The plan is we lay down some fire by his bodyguards as he approaches the podium, and force them to take shelter in the bank, as led nicely by Roque.”

“Why do we want this guy alive so badly, anyway?” Stella mumbled to herself. “If he’s such a bastard, why don’t we just kill him? He’s a terrorist leader.”

“The Lebanese Freedom Party ain’t deemed terrorists all over the world.” Pooch grinned and Stella snorted. “Russia views them as a legitimate socio-political force.”

“Russia basically executes people for being gay” She scoffed. “Forgive me for not taking their viewpoint here as the one to set my moral compass against.” She sighed. “Cougs could take one shot, straight in the head. Boom. Job done.”

Cougar chuckled as he unloaded his rifle and stand, looking up at Clay. “She’s not wrong, Boss.”

“Whilst wiping that particular shit stain off the face of the earth might be appealing, they ain’t our orders. We apprehend alive.” Clay spoke, matter of factly and Stella rolled her eyes.

“Whatever helps us sleep at night, huh?”

****

Stella had to hand it to their Intel department. The start of the hit went like clockwork. At bang on the designated time, Jensen radioed in to say that they were moving out and sure enough, twenty minutes or so later he accounted the SUVs and jeeps had left the compound. He joined the rest of the team little over half an hour later, leaving the dirty van he had been driving hidden down a dark alleyway at the back of the bank, behind the one the rest of the team had arrived in and headed into the dank building, wrinkling his nose at the musty air as he walked in. 

“Hey.” He greeted Stella, his hand falling to her shoulder as she sat in the back, her attention focussed through the window, a pair of binoculars raised to her eyes.

“Hey.” She whispered back, her gaze flicking to him quickly, flashing him a smile as she turned back to her spotting.

“So I picked up on their coms that they think Khalil’s personal security have done a sweep of the area.” Jensen looked at them. “Roques done his job nicely. They should be entering the square from the South West corner.”

 “ETA?” Clay turned to him.

“Less than five minutes.”

“Excellent.” Clay nodded. “So far so good.”

The next five minutes or so passed in silence, all five of the Officers in the room observing the roads leading to the square just in case. Even though their intel was solid, it was drilled into them that they should never rely on it completely.

“Boss,” Cougar spoke suddenly, his shoulders squaring back, “target approaching. Roughly two miles out.”

“Fuck, I got something coming too from the North East.” Pooch groaned.

“What?” Clay demanded.

“I dunno but it looks suspiciously like an ARV.”

“An ARV?” Clay frowned.

“Yup. They’ve stopped. Six hundred yards out.”

“What do you mean they’ve stopped?” Jensen demanded, snatching the binoculars off him.

“What the fuck do you think I mean?” Pooch replied. “They’re not moving.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Stella growled and Clay took the binoculars off Jensen. She watched as Clay took a look before he sighed heavily and dropped his head.

“It’s the Lebanese Special Service. I recognise one of them from a mission a while back.”

“What the hell are they doing here?”

 “I should have seen this coming.” Clay bit his lip. “They’re going to hit him at the rally. The false trail we leaked to them means they think we’re moving on him as he makes his way out of town and up to Beirut. They’re going to get in first.”

“It’s a double cross.” Stella looked at Jake and Pooch as she spoke, the pair of them exchanging a look before all eyes bar Cougar’s, which remained firmly fixed on his target, turned to Clay. “Why?”

“Death to the West and all that.” Clay sniffed. “They’re gonna take him out and try and use USA involvement as cover.”

“Don’t they realise that won’t work?” Stella shook her head. “We’re Black Ops, the thick fuckers. As soon as there’s so much of a sniff that shit is going west, the CIA will leave us high and dry, denying they had anything to do with it.”

“So what’s Plan B?” Pooch turned to look Clay. “I’m hoping you got a Plan B, because Plan A is going to shit.”

“Kilo one still approaching.” Cougar stated.

“You got anything special in your arsenal?” Clay turned to Pooch. “As in blow up an ARV special?”

Pooch blinked. “Yeah, the RPG but…”

“Go get it.” Clay instructed.

Pooch didn’t hesitate, he shot off down the stairs and Stella watched him go before she turned her attention back to the large square, which was roughly the size of two football pitches, busy with people bustling about their everyday business.

“If we get this wrong, the whole square is gonna be caught up in a fucking gun fight,” Stella spoke, her eyes falling on a group of kids in the middle.

There was a pause before Clay spoke again. “Khalil is our main objective; we just need to keep collateral to a minimum.”

Collateral. Stella hated that fucking word. She swallowed and looked at Jensen who gave her a small smile, which she returned before she glanced back at the square.

“One mile out.” Cougar informed.

“Okay,” Clay spoke, clapping his hands together. “Pooch, as soon as the LSS move, you shoot that RPG straight at the fuckers.”

“Gladly.” He nodded, “But, chances are if they’ve got an ARV out there then they’ll already have agents on the ground.”

“It doesn’t matter, all we gotta do is get a shot off first.  Once that initial gun crack is heard, Khalil’s security outfit are gonna herd him in here anyway. And hopefully, when the LSS get note their vehicle has gone bang it’ll draw them into blowing cover somehow.” Clay nodded. “At least then we’ll be able to spot where they are.” He took a deep breath. “Cougar, keep watch on Khalil. As soon as you get a viable opportunity to lay down the fire, take it.”

Cougs, who hadn’t taken his eye away from the target sight of his gun simply tipped the brim of his hat again with his finger to show he had understood and Clay turned to the other three of them as they waited instructions.

 “What about Roque?” Stella asked. “He doesn’t know about the LSS.”

“He’ll roll with the punches.” Clay rubbed his hand over his chin. “Everyone clear?”

“Clear as, boss, it’s a shoot-out.” Jensen snorted, nodding his head as he gave a chuckle. “Good times.”

“If this is your idea of a good time then I’d hate to see a bad one.” Pooch grumbled and Stella gave a chuckle.

“Hey, Poochy, I just like to see the positive in all aspects of life.” Jensen grinned, holding his hands out to the side, palms up. “You’re just grumpy because Jolene’s finally managed to…ouch!” Jensen gave a yelp as Stella punched him hard on the arm. “What was that for, babe?”

Stella shot him a look which instantly shut him up. Pooch had confided in her, Cougar and Jensen no less than two days ago that Jolene was four months pregnant, but he didn’t want to tell Clay or Roque for reasons that he was keeping to himself, as per his prerogative, she supposed. It had made her and Jensen snort a little, as when Aubrey had found out she was pregnant roughly five months or so ago, the entire world had known pretty much before the pee was dry on the test stick. Jensen’s eyes widened as he realised exactly what he’d been about to say and he grimaced, before turning to Pooch, giving him an apologetic look.

“Kilo One is approaching the square.” Cougar spoke, and they all turned their attention to him, stepping forward to the window, Clay observing their surroundings with the binoculars. 

“Okay, focus up Losers.” Clay hushed them all, gesturing to Pooch. “Get ready with that RPG”

Pooch shot Jensen one final filthy glare before he stepped forward, resting the grenade launcher on his shoulder.

“Arty, Jensen, in position.” Clay instructed. “Coms on, code names only.”

They both nodded, Stel picking up a device that had been in Pooch’s big bag of tricks, and made their way back to the spiral staircase.

And then, it all happened at once. Clay gave the order to fire and both Pooch and Cougar took their shots at the same time. The popping of guns, sounds of screaming and yelling and a rather large explosion followed by Pooch’s loud chuckles of glee hit their ears and Jensen looked at Stella as they waited at the top of the stairs.

“I really shouldn’t enjoy this as much as I should.” He grinned, and Stella snorted as suddenly the room below them was full of voices, once of which the recognised instantly as Roque. From their extensive planning, Sella knew that they would likely hustle into the room in a tight cordon, with Khalil in the middle and head to the most secure part of the building, the vault. They had no idea how many of the guard had made it into the building with Khalid, but essentially it didn’t matter. The Losers were one step ahead.

As soon as the group made their way towards the main part of the atrium, through the open double doors which led through the cashier area, Jensen grinned at Stella.

“Hit it, babe!” 

Stella smirked as she pushed the button on the device she held in her hand. The large electromagnets that had been placed on the locks snapped into place, firing the four inch thick steel bolts into their slots, securing them tightly, ensuring no one could get out, and no one else could get in. Yells of warnings rang out about the place as the guards instantly wheeled round, their guns raised and Roque’s eyes flickered upwards to where they were hidden on the veranda above. Jensen raised his right hand, his index and middle finger extended and he waved them across his face, indicating that their next move was about to go down. Roque made no sign he’d seen them, bar a quick double-blink.

“I’m sorry, pal.” Jensen grimaced a little as he ducked down and lifted a heavy square box off the floor, flipping the plastic cover up, jamming his thumb onto the red button. “Lima Two is about to deploy, please return to your seats and cover your ears.” He spoke into his coms, giving the rest of the team a warning. As soon as the device beeped to say it was charged, Jensen launched it over the side of the railing where it fell onto the floor below. As soon as it left his hands, he and Stella ducked down, their fingers jammed in their ears, eyes scrunched shut as the device activated.

Referred to merely by Pooch as the S-Fud- ‘Sensory Fuck-Up Device’, the item had been developed by the boffins in the CIA lab to create complete optical and aural disorientation by using ultra violet and bright white lights and a loud, high pitched sound and sonic wave. Even with his eyes screwed shut, the flash of light still bounced off all the surfaces surrounding Jensen, and the hands which were clamped over his ears might have dimmed the majority of the loud wailing siren, which lasted no more than two seconds, but the combination was still enough to leave him feeling slightly woozy as he stood to his feet, blinking furiously, his eyes feeling like he’d stared straight at the sun, his eardrums ringing as if he’d spent hours in a nightclub with music thumping in his ears. Besides him, Stella staggered to her feet and shook her head, pressing the heel of her palm to the space between her eyes. But they had no time to waste. Jake gently shook her shoulder and she nodded to show him she was okay. Together they made their way down the stairs as quickly as they could. 

The S-Fud had done its job, all the men were incapacitated to some extent. As Stella’s eyes glanced around she quickly counted six men in total. Three, one of whom was Khalil, were completely unconscious, face down on the floor. Two more, including Roque, were writhing in pain, hand clutched over their ears, and one was attempting to stagger to his feet. In a flash, Stella had nailed him with a kick to the face, and he fell backwards with a thud, his nose shattering as her heel smashed straight into the bridge.

“Did you see that?” Jensen turned to the other three men who had joined them, all looking around the room. “My girl, she’s a bad ass chick.”

“Can you concentrate on the mission in hand for once and not your dick?” Pooch shook his head as Cougar hit the moving guard with the butt of his rifle, knocking him out.

“Your momma concentrated on my dick last night.” Jensen shot back and Pooch groaned.

“Seriously? Momma jokes, now?”

“Shut up.” Stella nudged Jake harshly with her elbow as she walked past, following Clay as they stepped over the unconscious guards, heading towards Roque as he groaned and lay curled up in the foetal position. Clay knelt down and reached out, loosening his tie and the top button of his dress shirt before patting him on the shoulder, as Stella did the same to their target.

“Okay, lets move.” Clay looked up. “Jensen, Pooch, you take Roque. I’ll get Khalil. Cougs, Arty, give us cover to the vehicle.”

The team all nodded, Jensen and Pooch stepping forward, each seizing Roque under his arms. They managed to get him to his feet, each supporting him, their arms round his back as his arms slumped over their shoulders. His feet staggered on the floor as he made an attempt to talk.

“We got you, buddy.” Jensen said softly. “You’ll be alright, just feel like you’ve got one hell of a hangover for a few hours.”

Meanwhile Clay had managed to hoist Khalil to his feet with Cougar’s help, the man a complete dead weight, which he allowed to slump against his right shoulder. With an almighty heave he ducked and then stood, using his legs to rise up fully, Khalil slung over him in a fireman’s lift, his arms dangling freely down Clay’s back.

Without another word, the team moved as quickly as they could to the dead-bolted doors where Stella reached into her pocket with one hand, whipping her pistol out with the other. She clicked the device, which unlocked the glass doors and they made their way across the atrium, the chaotic noises from outside growing louder as they approached the back door to the bank they’d used to enter. Stella flattened herself against one side of the wall to the right of the door as Cougar took aim with his rifle. He looked at her and nodded, and in a flash she reached out and yanked it open, Cougar darting through, rifle held in front of him. 

“Clear.” He spoke and Stella moved to allow the rest of the team to step out into the alleyway, taking up the rear. 

She spotted the man hiding in a doorway two down before Cougs even had chance to shout a warning. In a flash she fired pistol twice. The first shot hit the guy in the arm, causing him to drop his gun, the second in the knee and he fell to the floor, screaming in agony. Then came another, and another. As Stella and Cougar continued, Jensen, Pooch and Clay heaved their charges to the side of the van, ducking as shots rained down on them. Pooch wrenched open the door, and Jensen hopped into the back, hoisting Roque in as gently as he could, a sharp contrast to the way Clay simply slung Khalil unceremoniously into the back. As Pooch ran to the front and hopped into the driver side, Stella and Cougar both sprinted towards the van, flinging themselves in as the engine started. With a sharp tug, Clay pulled he door shut as Pooch started the engine. 

Seconds later, the van roared back off up the alley, the crackle of gunfire from the square growing quieter and quieter as they put more distance between them and the danger.  Pooch drove them out onto the main road, towards the point, some six miles or so away, where they would ditch the van and hop into two separate SUVs and make their way to the agreed Ex-fil point at Saida Port roughly a half an hour or so drive away.

Stella closed her eyes, resting her head against the cool metal of the van, watching as Pooch and Jensen  hoisted Khalil into a sitting position, securing his wrists with flexi-restraints behind his back. Cougar was busy offering Roque some water, Stella pleased to see their teammate was finally starting to come round. She smiled as Jensen flopped down next to her, his arm looping round her shoulders as he pulled her to him for a soft kiss.

“I love working with you,” he grinned and she snorted, shaking her head as she chuckled.

“Yeah, we’re a regular nine-to-five couple, aint we?”

****

“Stel?” Jake called through the door of the bathroom of their temporary lodgings before he opened it and to be greeted by Stella led back in the bath, eyes closed. She turned her head to look at him. “I was gonna ask if you wanted head out with the guys for a beer and food but you look pretty comfortable.”

She pulled a face. “I’m feeling anti-social.” Jake laughed at her frank answer and smiled as she gave a small shrug. “Sorry, not sorry, but we spent four weeks in a hell hole motel and I’m extremely grateful Clay’s managed to get us holed up in a nice place and not the Officers’ Quarters on base so I intend to make the most of it.”

“Babes, we were both in the army.” He snorted. “Rocks for pillows and all that.”

“Yeah, well it’s been a while since I did that. What can I say? I’ve grown used to the finer things again.”

“Fair enough, I’ll let Clay know you hate them all and don’t want to socialise.” He teased.

“Jakey, we’re gonna be here for by my guess a week at least, plenty of time to go out sampling the finest bars the UK has to offer.” She shrugged, not bothered in the slightest by his teasing. “If you wanna go meet them, feel free. I’ll grab a take out. There were some leaflets pinned to the board in the kitchen.”

“Or…” Jake smirked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, “I stay here, because frankly, that bed looks really comfy and I kinda wanna test it. See how grossed out we can make Pooch.”

“Jerk.” Stella snorted.

“Well, he’s done nothing but complain since we got here about how he has to share this house with us and can’t go in with the others, so I wanna give him something to really complain about.”

“You’re such a little shit.” She laughed and Jake groaned. 

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what? Laugh?”

“Yeah, it’s making your boobs wobble under the water, and that’s making me horny.”

“You’re always horny.”

“Hornier than usual.”

“Well, I can solve that problem.” She grinned and Jake smirked.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, turn around and shut the door on your way out.”

“Ouch, Stells.” Jake slapped his hand over his heart. “That’s cold.”

“Hmmm,” She muttered, laying her head back and closing her eyes again. “If you’re getting in here you better hurry, or the water will be cold too.”

Jake grinned and in a flash, reached back to grab a fist full of his t-shirt behind the collar and pulled it over his head. As his hands flew to the button on his jeans Stella nodded to the door.

“You better lock that, I know you said you wanted to gross Pooch out but if he walks in on us he’ll be scared for life.”

“And?”

Stella merely arched her brow, “No locky, no fucky.”

With that Jake spun on his heel and flicked the lock, before he turned round and shoved his pants and boxers down in one full swoop and swung his leg over the side of the tub. Stella moved forward so he could settle behind her, his legs laying either side of hers. It was a tight squeeze, the tub in the two bedroomed terraced house wasn’t built to accommodate two but neither paid it any mind. 

Stella took a deep breath, closed her eyes and leaned back, her head laying against Jake’s chest as his hands softly rubbed up and down her forearms, his lips pressing a kiss to her shoulder. 

They were silent for a while, the pair of them simply contented to stay there for a moment, relishing the peace after a long and tedious mission and the chance to relax for an evening before the debriefs and analysis started the next day in the War Rooms of the RAF Base in Suffolk, England. Often, the aftermath of a mission was more hard-going than the action itself. They’d hash over the events, listen to the CIA operative justify some of the more morally ambiguous decisions made, no doubt the ramifications and political fall-outs, be informed about how the CIA were going to play it and then they’d have to submit written reports, which would be Classified at the highest levels and stored in the top secret vaults in Virginia. 

It was part and parcel of being in a black-ops team. They knew the script, having read and played it many a times before. But it was draining and exhausting, one of the many reasons Stella was glad that the actual missions they ran, whilst they could last months at a time, were on the large few and far between.

“You okay?” Jake broke the silence and pressed his lips once more to the back of her shoulder and Stella nodded, tilting her head round so she could look at him.

“I spoke to Rey before.”

“Yeah, how is she?”

“She said she felt the baby move for the first time.” Stella beamed.

“Oh, that’s awesome.” Jake grinned back, “are they gonna find out what they’re having?”

Stella snorted, “dur. You know what she’s like. She’ll want to decorate and buy it blue or pink clothes, plus if it’s a boy she’s got time to mentally prepare seeing as all she wants is a little girl to treat like a doll.”

Jake laughed. “Is it wrong I kinda hope it is a boy?”

Stella grinned. “Nope, I was thinking the same. She’s asked me to be with her when it’s born.”

“I’m not surprised.” Jake wrinkled his nose. “Dick’s gonna be about as much use as a knife in a gun fight.”

“Knives can be very useful in a gun fight, if you know how to use them.”

“Oooh I love it when you talk dirty, babe.” Jensen smirked and dropped his head to kiss her softly. His right hand moved from its spot on her arm to stroking her hip, tracing a path down the outside of her thigh. His fingers softly traced shapes on her warm, wet skin just to the side of her knee before he moved his touch up her leg again then across to her abdomen. Stella sighed against his mouth, as her head lolled to the right. Jensen’s mouth moved, trailing a line down her neck, nipping at the hinge of her jaw. 

He was growing hard against her, Stella could feel it, and the way his fingers were ghosting over her made her skin tingle and her body shiver. "Jake," she whimpered. "Yeah, baby?" His fingers found the tuft of curls and then her nub. "You gonna sing for me, Stells?" He encircled her clit with his fingertip and drew back up. "Let me play that pussy?" “Fuck...” she groaned, leaning further back into him, her body sagging into his. She loved his dirty talk, being so in control for most of the time, she enjoyed letting herself go when it came to this. “Feels good, Jakey.” "Yeah? You like it when I touch you, feel my fingers inside? Stretching you for my dick?" He dipped two fingers inside, his thumb able to press into her sensitive clit. "Jesus, fuck," Stella gasped as he moved into her. The thickness of his fingers felt like she was on fire and had her silently begging his foreplay wasn't long. "So fucking wet already, babe." Jake was enjoying the feel of her on his fingers. It'd been a long while since he'd felt all of her and he hid his desperation well behind dirty words and filthy ministrations. His mouth moved down her neck, teeth gently nipping at her skin as he went, lips curling into a smirk as he listened to her softly groaning. Her hips moving in time with his hand as his fingers curled inside her.  Water began to just teeter over the tubs edge but neither paid any mind. Stella's breathy pants bounced off of Jake's cheek as he watched himself finger fuck her. "I love it when you fuck my fingers, baby." "Oh God," Stella squeaked, for she was going to hit that edge and fall right over. The time between, the angst of their mission and Jake's mouth were nearing too much. "Jakey, please," she moaned. "Cum on my fingers, Stells, then I'm gonna fuck you, really...really... good." With each 'really' Jake barely rutted against Stella, just enough to tease her at what he wanted to do to her. He wanted to slide in, slow and deep, her body seated on top his, while he feasted on her nipples and neck. He wanted to be buried into her to the hilt and paint her walls with his seed. Stella came undone as her body quaked against his chest. With a breathy squeak she went rigid and her hand flew from the side of the tub, wrapping around is wrist as she came, her walls clamping around his fingers "Fuck, Stella, turn around baby, sit on my lap." She was as languid as the water around them, her body drowning in ecstasy as Jake helped her turn in the small space. His fully erect and throbbing cock stood at attention, his head just above the water’s surface. He guided Stella just where he wanted her and slowly dipped inside her still trembling walls. The sensation was more than Stella had bargained for and she moaned out loudly as she sank into him. "That's it baby, let them hear you" Jake bucked a bit into her, closing the gap that Stella was slowly shortening, his cock fully inside her and he moaned himself. She felt so good, so tight. Like there was no one else made for him but her. The thought gave him a flutter deep in his belly. She was his, and would be forever, if she'd have him. Stella rolled her hips against his, grinding down the pressure on her sensitive clit while Jake's lips moved over her skin, nearing her pert nipples. His hands wove around her back, fingers pressing into her spine as he bobbed his hips up and down to meet with her rolls. It was a dirty grind, water sloshing out of the tub like waves licking the shore. When Jake found a nipple and rolled it between his lips, his tongue tasting her flesh and his teeth nipping at it, Stella tugged at the little bits of longer hair atop Jake's head as she squeaked out a pleasurable sound. One of Jake's large hands palmed down her back and over the curve of her ass, squeezing her cheek as she rocked all whilst he played with her breasts. The same hand soon found its way between their bodies and pressed hard into her clit before smoothing upward over her tummy and grasping her left breast, kneading it gently. The more he gave, the more she took and before long she was grinding down against him, her breathing ragged as he thrust up, hard, his hands dropping to her hips.  “Come on baby,” he groaned as her head fell back, his lips nipping against her collar bone, “fuck, I love you.” “Love you.” She groaned as he thrust up, her hands curling over his shoulders, nails biting his skin. “Shit, Jakey, I’m gonna...” “Cum baby, come on.” His jaw clenched as her body trembled and her eyes fluttered closed, as she let out a broken, whispered groan. As she clenched around him, Jake gave a soft growl of his own, his hips moving slightly faster as he rutted up, pulling her down onto him. The coil in his abdomen that had been tightening and tightening snapped and his entire body surrendered, a surge of warmth spreading from his belly outwards and he stilled, his cock twitching as he came. A few sloppy thrusts later and he stilled with a satisfied him, his hands moving to smooth Stella’s damp hair back off her face as hers cupped his cheeks. She simply looked at him for a moment and he gave her a grin causing her to chuckle as she pressed a soft kiss to his mouth.  “Jesus Christ, that was amazing.” Jensen mumbled and Stella grinned, her lips meeting his once more. They stayed still for a moment, soft kisses being shared until Stella shivered a little and Jake helped her move off him so he could get out of the tub and leave her to finish off. He grabbed a towel and his glasses from the basin unit before he dried off, gathered his discarded clothes and headed onto the small landing of the accommodation. Pooch, who was just emerging from the other bedroom shot him a look. “You better clean that damned bathroom before I use it.” He arched his eyebrow and Jensen grinned. “You’re like the best disgusting person I know.” Pooch continued with a snort before he nodded his head to the stairs. “Take it you’re two ain’t coming?” “Already came, Poochy.” Jensen grinned as he walked to their bedroom, laughing as the sounds of Pooch’s groans of disgust hit his ears.

****

Stella woke the next morning to a burning deep in her core and Jake’s face between her legs. Her orgasm roused her much better than any alarm or cup of coffee ever could and as Jake stuffed himself insider her, his mouth nipping softly at her neck, she smiled softly to herself as she realised he’d done this very thing the first morning they’d moved up to college together.

After pulling on her Army Uniform cargo pants, Stella tucked her khaki green tee into the waist and adjusted the belt before she sat down and laced up her heavy boots as Jake fiddled with the collar of his, complaining that it felt tight. When Stella pointed out he was slightly more built than he had been last time he wore it a good few months ago, he grinned and flexed his arms to give her the ‘gun show’ making her snort and shake her head.

They headed out of the house and walked the half a mile to the main gate of the base, flashing their ID and making their way to the Mess for breakfast where they met with the rest of the team, Pooch giving them another filthy look as their antics had continued beyond the bathroom and much later into the night. Once they’d finished eating, they each grabbed a coffee to go and headed down to the War Rooms - a network of conference rooms and IT facilities nestled in a bunker along the runway of the RAF Base - and settled down in the leather seats around the large, polished mahogany table ready for whoever it was from the CIA that would be arriving to give the debrief.

They’d been there for roughly half an hour or so and Jensen was already bored. He was messing around, twirling his pen in-between his fingers, the other tapping against the disposable coffee cup. After a pause, he took his pen and began to draw a face on the white plastic lid.

“What are you doing?” Stella looked at him, having caught his fiddling in the corner of her eye.

“I’m bored, Stelly,” his voice was a childish whine, “where is this guy anyway? We’ve been waiting here for like thirty minutes!”

“Just take the fucking pen off him, Arty.” Roque groaned. Stella reached over for it and snatched it away”

“Hey, that’s mine!”

“Jensen, shut up!” Roque shot back and Jensen turned to him.

“Why? It’s not like anyone is talking anyway.”

“You, you’re talking. As usual. Put a sock in it.” Roque turned to Stell as Clay stood up and walked to the door to see if anyone was coming. “How the fuck do you put up with this?”

“He has his mouth busy most of the time.” Stella quipped as she leaned back in the chair and Jensen gave her a dopey grin.

Both Roque and Pooch let out noises of disgust, Cougar’s chuckle just audible from the other side of the table where he lounged with his feet on the table and his hat pulled down over his eyes.

“Yeah, laugh all you want but next time it’s you sharing the digs with them.” Pooch looked at him. “I’m done.”

“Chill out.” Cougar replied and Pooch blinked.

“Did you just tell me to chill?”

Cougar smirked in response, tipping his hat up slightly to flash Pooch a wink.

“The Pooch is perfectly chilled.”

“The Pooch refers to himself in the third person,” Jensen shook his head, “that’s so not chill.”

“Oh…this just got even better.” Clay’s remark had them all turning towards him, the teasing banter dying off as Roque sat up.

“What?”

Clay simply walked into the room, rolling his eyes. Less than five seconds later, in walked a very familiar face.

“Oh great.” Jake mumbled as Stella blinked, coming face to face with her ex for the first time since he’d stormed out of her apartment all those months ago.

“Good Morning.” Evan greeted them all before he nodded to Stella, a little awkwardly. “Hey.”

“Evan, hi... what are you... what are you doing here?” She asked and Evan took a deep breath.

“It was my intel you guys were running down so I’m here for debrief.”

“That was your intel?” Pooch spoke and Evan nodded.

“Yeah, we’ve been tracking Khalil for a while and reached out to him a while ago to offer him a deal. He declined so we needed to bring him in.” Evan nodded. “His activities were giving us cause for concern, not to mention with the Russians behind him. We needed to make the grab before he got even more power behind his cause.”

Jake sensed Stella tensing slightly besides him and slid his hand over her thigh. Her fingers gently locked over his as she kept her gaze on Evan, who had spotted the subtle movement of Jake’s hand. He didn’t say anything, instead the man’s eyes flicked to Jake’s who simply stared back before Roque chipped in.

“So, we got the guy. Did he give you what you needed?”

“I can’t tell you that.” Evan replied, apologetically. “It’s classified, need to know basis.”

“In that case I don’t wanna know.” Pooch mumbled.

Stella’s mind was whirling. Truth be told, she’d started to think about exactly why they’d been dispatched to capture this particular guy alive, when his type were ten-a-penny all over the place. There was a lot more to it than the fact this guy’s ideologies didn’t fit with those of the Western World.  And then, the final little piece dropped into place in her analytical brain and she turned her head to see Clay watching her.

“Did you know?” She asked.

Clay shook his head. “Suspected but…”

“Suspected what?” Jensen looked at Clay then Stella. “Babe?”

She took a deep breath. “There’s a reason why we were on a capture not kill mission. At first I assumed it was to do with not making him a martyr but then throwing him in prison would cause just as much unrest. But that unrest will die down when he’s released in a few months in exchange for his cooperation for details on his Russian backers and arms suppliers.”

The rest of the team looked at her, then to Evan who blinked, his face remaining stoic as Stella shook her head and continued.

“He then lets his supporters know that he and his friends in Russia had a disagreement and he was traded away. He retires to some island somewhere, under the careful watch of the UN and fades away into non-existence.”

There was silence and Evan took a deep breath, “it’s not quite as simple as that, Stel…Stevenson, but yeah, that’s pretty much the basics.”

“God, this is so fucking bent.” Stella shook her head. “It’s no wonder the entire world hates us.”

“You know, considering you technically work for the CIA and the Armed Forces, you kinda signed up for this.” Clay raised his eyebrow as Stella rolled her eyes.

“We tried to negotiate terms with him. He turned them down.” Evan replied, matter-of-factly. “So we sent you in to enforce them. The rest, as I stated a minute or so ago, you really don’t need to know.”

“Yeah, classified, we heard.” Clay replied, leaning back in his chair.

“Did you suspect the Lebanese Special Service would try a double cross?” Roque looked at Evan and the man shot him an apologetic look.

“It was always possible, yeah. But you know how it goes…”

Roque scoffed and Cougar shifted in his seat, Evan’s eyes flicking to him before he took a deep breath and shrugged.

“If it helps, think of the bigger picture. We remove their leader, cut off the Russian support, and suddenly the LFP is nothing more than an overhyped street gang...”

“Yeah, that doesn’t really help.” Jensen wrinkled his nose and Evan shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes.

“Well, that’s your opinion. Not ours.” He cleared his throat, “anyway, it’s done. The mission is over. For now, you guys need to lay low. We’ve cleared it with the RAF for you to stay in the area for a while until all the fuss about Khalil going missing has died down. We’ll be monitoring all the usual lines and channels of communication, making sure no one has your descriptions and doing what we can to keep your faces out of the public eye.” Evan paused. “But, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you what happens if we can’t.”

At that The Losers simply looked at one another. Evan was right, they didn’t need reminding. That was the whole point of the CIA running the number of Black-Ops teams it did. It gave them a way to do the slightly grey area dirty jobs and remain at arm’s length, denying all responsibility if required.

“Any idea on how long that’s gonna be?” Pooch asked. 

“Probably be a week, maybe two. But once we’re confident we’re clear, we’ll send word and get you back to the US.” Evan replied.

“So what you’re saying is we got two weeks off?” Cougar spoke and Evan looked at him, giving a shrug.

Pooch grinned and fist bumped Cougar.

“Are you staying here too?” Jensen looked at Evan and he shook his head.

“Don’t worry, I’m flying back to Virginia tonight”

“I’m not really worried…” Jake shrugged. There was a moment where both men simply stared at each other until Clay coughed.

“Right, is there anything else?”

“Mission reports due as usual, next forty eight hours.” Evan turned his head away from Jensen and looked around the team. “I’ve arranged access into the Red Network from the hub on the base. Your liaison officer, Wing Commander Levinson, says he can set you guys up with time on the range or the phys- ops courses too, have you join their drills if you want. Might be an idea to keep yourselves sharp.”

Cougar, Pooch and Jake all groaned at the suggestion of the physical training whilst Roque and Stella looked at one another, nodding.

“Yeah, I can go for that.” Roque agreed.

“And that’s it, other than on behalf of the CIA I wanted to thank you, it was a slick operation. We’re really pleased with how this one turned out.”

The team exchanged looks and soft smiles, before Clay stood up.

“Okay, Losers. Let’s grab some more coffee and then we can regroup. Figure out what we do for the next two weeks.

Movement filled the room as they all stood to leave, and just as Stella had picked up her empty coffee cup, Evan cleared his throat.

“Stella, can I have a word?”

She hesitated and Jake turned to look at her. He opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off. “Jakey, it’s fine. Go, I’ll catch you up.”

He blinked, before he turned to Evan, the glare he gave him positively filthy before he turned and left the room. Evan and Stella stood still watching him go, before Stella turned to Evan, the man giving her a soft smile.

“You look well. Being happy suits you.” His tone carried no anger, and Stella found herself returning his smile before she sighed and shook her head.

“Listen Evan, I...”

“It’s okay Stella,” he spoke, holding his hand up, “I won’t keep you long. I just wanted to apologize. I was an asshole when you broke up with me.” Stella took a deep breath as he continued. “The way I acted and the things I said were horrible. My mother would be ashamed and I just ...” he shrugged. “I wanted to let you know I was sorry, that’s all.”

Slightly surprised at his outwardly contrite tone, Stella simply shook her head. “It’s okay. You were hurt. I hurt you.”

“Yeah you did but that doesn’t excuse the way I reacted. So, like I said, I’m sorry.” He smiled, gesturing with his hand to the door. “And I’m glad that you and Jake are, you know, making it work.”

As he spoke the final like, that tell-tale nerve in his jaw twitched a little and Stella knew that he wasn’t happy, at all. But, given that the rest of his apology had been genuine, she accepted the gesture for what it was.

“Thank you.” She gave a soft smile. “And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. I did like you Ev, it just…”

“It wasn’t meant to be.” He shrugged. “Yeah, I get that now. And hey, no hard feelings. If we hadn’t broken up I’d never have met Talia so…”

“Oh, you’re seeing someone?”

“Yeah.” Evan nodded. “It’s early days, we’ve had a few dates and been away for a weekend. She’s nice, I like her.”

“Good, well I hope it works out.” Stella smiled. There was a pause before she took a breath. “I better…” she jerked her hand towards the door and Evan nodded.

“Of course…”

“I’ll, erm, see you around, yeah?”

“Yeah, take care, Stella.”

“You too, Evan.”

With a final smile at one another, Stella left the room and headed back up the corridor. Jake was waiting outside for her, leaning against the wall of the building.

“All okay?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah.”

“What did he want?”

“To apologise for the way he acted when we broke up.” Stella shrugged. “That was it, oh, and he’s seeing someone else. Which is nice. I hope it works for him. He’s a good guy.”

Jensen made a non-committal noise in his throat and Stella looked at him. “Don’t start.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t need to.” Stella rolled her eyes. “Stop.”

“Okay, okay, sorry. I just, well, I don’t know what it is but I still don’t trust him, never have. He’s shady.”

“He’s an intel officer for the CIA.” Stella scoffed, taking Jake’s hand. “We’re a Black-Ops team. Far more shady than he is.”

“Suppose.” Jensen sniffed, as the two of them walked down the side of the building. As they went, Jensen suddenly had a sense of unease. Almost as if they were being watched. He turned his head to glance over his shoulder, but found no one. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head, telling himself he was being ridiculous. They were on a secure Military Base, probably the safest place they could be given the circumstances.

“You okay?” Stella asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” he assured her, “so, the rest of The Losers are in the coffee shop. Pooch is already on his phone checking out local bars, fancy hitting a few tonight?”

“Why not?” Stell grinned up at him, leaning up to place a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw. Jake smiled, and pulled her closer as they headed off to join up with the rest of the team, casting a final glance over his shoulder, once more seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

**** Chapter 10

[halstudandruz]

Simple Instructions (NSFW)

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Jealous Jay makes an appearance after finding out about your past rendezvous (“I want you. Only you.” and “Don’t ever leave my sight again.”)

Warnings: Smut (18+), swearing

You were going to Molly’s tonight to celebrate Trudy and Mouch’s engagement. Currently you and Jay were having a casual conversation, asking each other questions to make washing and drying the dishes a little bit more entertaining. So, whenever he asked you who of your past “lovers” you’d do again (besides him of course) you didn’t think twice to blurt out Matt Casey. Closing your eyes and bracing yourself as soon as you realized the name that fell from your lips.

“What? As in...your Captain Matt Casey?” He sat the towel down on the counter looking at you appalled.

“I mean..yeah I guess technically he’s still my captain even though I’m a paramedic.” You danced around the question.

“When?” He asked voice coming out deeper.

“I don’t know like a year ago.” You shrugged, drying the last dish and turning to head off towards your bedroom.

You shouldn’t have told him, but to be fair he shouldn’t have asked a question he didn’t want an answer to and you hadn’t realized what you said until it was already out of your mouth.

“Oh my gosh Jay it was over a year ago let it go.” You huffed searching for an outfit getting annoyed at his insistent questioning.

“And you just now decided to tell me?” He replied, anger in his voice.

“I don’t know all of your sexual conquests.” You rolled your eyes.

“Well that’s because you don’t know any of them nor do I work with them everyday.” He shot back.

“We never told anyone. Not even Severide. It was one time. We were both drunk, vulnerable, and it just happened it really isn’t a big deal.” You shrugged, holding a dress against you to look in the mirror.

“You’re not wearing that.” Jay protested throwing on a shirt. Which made you laugh turning to face him,

“Excuse me?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re not wearing that.” He repeated.

“I’m not 15 and you’re not my dad, Jay.” You shook your head anger, starting to seep in as you took the dress with you into the bathroom slamming the door. 45 minutes later you emerged from the bathroom, makeup done, dress on despite the struggle of zipping it up yourself. Jay sat his phone down getting up off the bed to walk towards you.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, resting his hands on your hips.

“For?” You crossed your arms across your chest making him sigh,

“Trying to control you. It’s a good thing you didn’t let me.” His eyes trailed you up and down, lust sparking in his eyes.

“Yeah yeah. We gotta leave soon.” You leaned up to peck his lips freeing yourself from his grasp to go in search of shoes which earned you a frustrated groan.

Walking into Molly’s Jay’s hand was tightly clasped around yours. He led you over to where most of intelligence stood on the side of the bar.

“Hey guys.” You greeted moving to hug Kim and jerking your hand free of Jay’s grip not letting him take a hold of it again whenever you were free. “I’m going to go get us drinks, be right back.” You kissed Jay’s cheek hurrying off towards the bar.

“Hey [Y/N].” Sylvie greeted happily beside you.

“Hi.” You sighed glancing back to see Jay’s eyes on you.

“What’s up with you?” Stella joined pouring you your usual cherry rum and coke.

“Him.” You stated shaking your head as Sylvie and Stella’s eyes moved to meet Jay’s.

“He’s looking at you like he wants to devour you...what’s the problem?” Stella smirked, handing you your drink.

“Jealous Jay is coming out and I really don’t feel like dealing with it all night.” You admitted.

“I thought you loved jealous Jay.” Sylvie wiggled her eyebrows at you.

“Yeah...later not leading up to.” You laughed.

“Okay well why is he jealous mama needs some drama

in her life.” Stella leaned against the counter smile on her face ready for you to deliver.

“Yeah I can’t tell you that.” You shrugged, picking up your drink and Jay’s beer sliding off your seat.

“Hey! Don’t leave us hanging!” Sylvie and Stella protested as you giggled, moving to walk back towards your table, but running into none other than Matt Casey when you turned. Because the universe just loves you. Both drinks splashing over both of you in the process.

“Oh I’m so sorry, Casey!” You apologized, setting the drinks down and grabbing a napkin from the table beside you moving to dab at his shirt as he laughed.

“I’m fine you look like you got it worse than me.” He smiled kindly moving to dry your chest like the gentleman he is, but as you looked over his shoulder at Jay you swore there was fire staring back at you.

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom, I’m sorry again, I owe you a drink!” You smiled hightailing it to the bathroom to clean yourself up some. Walking back towards your table once you were done.

“Hey babe.” Jay greeted pulling you down into his lap.

“Oh, hi.” You laughed, caught off guard.

“Did you get cleaned up?” He asked moving his hand over the front of your dress to feel for any wet spots.

“Yeah I did.” You smiled giving him a look moving his hand to steady on your hip where his fingers digged in focusing your attention on the conversation at the table. Jay moved your hair to one shoulder lighting kissing the back of your neck causing you to shiver.

“Sometimes I forget how good you smell.” Jay whispered into your ear his free hand gently moving up and down your thigh. Moving dangerously closer to your center each time. Grabbing it you placed his hand on your knee turning around to shoot him a look as he stared back innocently despite the smirk on his face. Jay continued to tease you for about 30 minutes, hands roaming all over your body out of sight, pulling your hips down against his, discreetly brushing against your nipples knowing there was no bra blocking his access any chance he got, involuntarily causing you to moan quietly a few times until you stood up, not able to take the increasing temperature of your body against Jay’s anymore feeling like you were having a heat flash as more and more liquid pooled between your legs, you swore you were probably dripping all over Jay’s jean clad thigh by now and he had to love it. All you could think about was having his dick shoved down your throat in the bathroom, so in an effort to obtain any sense of purity you had to take a minute.

“I’m going to get a water. Anyone need anything?” You asked as everyone shook their heads, heading to the bar Jay’s eyes burning a hole in your back. “One water please.” You smiled at Stella, eyes flicking over to the table on your left, “oh and a beer.” She pouted still salty that you hadn’t hinted her into the gossip before presenting you your order. “Thanks hun.” You smiled brightly turning to walk away. “One drink as promised.” You interrupted the table's slight conversation, setting the beer down in front of Casey.

“Hey what about me?” Cruz threw his hands up a little offended.

“Sorry but you weren’t the one lucky enough to get covered in alcohol earlier.” You shrugged making him roll his eyes.

“You didn’t have to do that, but thank you very much.” Matt smiled kindly holding his beer up to you before taking a sip. Winking you turned to walk away before he called your name again. “I totally forgot earlier, but that shield of yours came in today; it's out in my truck if you want it.” He explained. Glancing over to see Jay’s unwavering eyes on you, you nodded if he wanted to tease you, you could do it right back,

“Yeah sure.” Following him out to his truck he opened the door digging in the passenger side before presenting the object to you.

“There you go. I think it turned out pretty well.” He commented.

“Yeah it looks great thank you so much.” You grinned, clearing his throat he looked around before turning back to you,

“I don’t want to pry or anything, but is there something going on with you and Halstead? It just seems really...tense.” He questioned making you laugh.

“Yeah we’re fine we got in a fight early, but it’s really not a big deal.” You shrugged as he nodded.

“Well...you know I’m here if you need anything.” He looked into your eyes genuinely, hands resting on your shoulders.

“I know, same to you, Case.” You smiled hugging him before heading back into the building where you were caught not more than a few feet in the door.

“Don’t ever leave my sight again especially when you’re with him.” He said sternly, making you scoff.

“As I’ve told you already today, I’m a grown woman. Get over yourself.” You rolled your eyes.

“We’re leaving.” He handed you your jacket. Shaking your head with annoyance (but slight satisfaction) you slid it on quickly making your rounds of goodbyes. The ride home was tense, not more than a word spoken between you two. Pulling in the driveway you followed him to the door, waiting for him to unlock it and breaking the silence when you were both in the bedroom beginning to undress.

“So, do you just expect me to not talk to him ever again? How’s that supposed to work?” You said sarcastically unbuckling your heels.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” He nodded unbuttoning his shirt.

“Jay.” You gave him a look moving towards him and turning around so he could unzip your dress, but his hands gripped your hips tightly pulling you against him. His fingers gently moved your hair off of your neck, his breath coming right against your ear, lips soft as they pressed against the side of your throat, tongue peaking out ever so slightly, voice vibrating against your skin as he spoke,

“You knew exactly what you were doing, [Y/N],” he nipped your ear hand coming to slowly move the zipper down, “don’t stand here and try to play innocent with me,” pushing the straps off your shoulders leaving your dress to pool on the floor, standing only in your panties now as he leaned his chest hot against your back, bulge clearly present against your ass, “you knew I was watching you and you deliberately went outside with him,” hands moving up to cup your breast rolling your nipples between the pads of his fingers as your head fell against his shoulder swallowing to bury a moan deep in your throat refusing to make a noise, “you wanted to make me jealous,” a hard bite against your neck, “you wanted to make me angry,” grinding his pelvis against you, “and you wanted me to take you home,” his fingertips of his right hand leaving goosebumps as it moved south, “and show you who you belong to.” He whispered right against your ear fingers disappearing below your panty line, finally reaching your center and you couldn’t do anything but moan if you tried at the sensation and the cold hard truth of his words.

“Baby girl you are already soaked.” Jay chuckled fingers moving to get rid of your only piece of clothing left before turning and throwing you on the bed. “I just want you to know, I won’t consider myself accomplished if you can still talk by the end of the night.” Jay winked appearing above you long enough to kiss you softly.

“Ya know, I just didn’t quite understand it,” he began to talk fingers trailing up your body leaving goosebumps in their path, “I mean I like Casey and all..well I liked Casey and all,” he corrected himself biting at your neck, “but he just doesn’t seem like he’d be anything great to remember. He doesn’t seem very animalistic I guess you could say. Now Severide,” he chuckled getting up off the bed making you huff, “Severide I could understand... but then it dawned on me. Casey, well..he’s the one in control. He gives you orders daily. He’s in charge.” He reasoned opening the drawer of his nightstand, “and you just love guys that know how to take charge.” Jay smirked cockily dangling a pair of handcuffs on his finger before crawling back on top of you, leaving a soft lingering kiss on your lips, “I guess it’s my fault. I haven’t felt the need to..do so in a while, but I guess if that’s what you really want.”

He shrugged, capturing one of your wrists and positioning it at the headboard, “You remember the safe word, baby girl?” He asked lightly, pressing a kiss to your temple and when you nodded the handcuff clicked tightly around your wrist. “I’m going to be nice though. You know, get you warmed up since we haven’t done this in a while.” He smirked, laying the other pair on the bed beside your shoulder. “I’m going to give you some control of your own. Do whatever you want with that hand of yours just don’t let it touch me. Unless I tell you, you can. Otherwise it’ll join the other one. Not that I’ll be complaining either way.” Jay smiled, connecting his lips with yours.

You quickly reciprocated his heated kisses, digging your free hand into the sheet. Jay’s lips moved from yours to your neck biting and licking along the way earning a sharp gasp from you as you arched up into him already wanting contact at every part of your body. Jay’s hands reached your hips pinning them down to the sheets while his lips made it to your breast tongue flicking out to tease your nipple before skimming his teeth along it, repeating this same action to the other leaving wet kisses all along your chest accompanied by a few bite marks. Moving further south on your body not leaving a centimeter untouched, starting at your ankle licking all the way to your thigh then moving to the other.

“Baby, this is torture.” You groaned.

“What? I’m just making sure you know how much I love every inch of your sexy body,” he smirked, kissing and sucking right where your thigh met your hip, “and if I happen to leave a few marks so you still remember a week from now how good I’m going to make you feel tonight well then sue me.” He teased kissing the mark he had left. “Keep those gorgeous eyes of yours on me, okay?” He ordered.

Biting your lip you nodded your head before watching his dip further between your thighs pushing them open wider running a finger gently through your folds, spreading your wetness that was sure to be forming a puddle underneath you now before pushing it in earning a satisfied moan from you, your senses overwhelmed at every movement he made, the stubble on his face itched your thighs as he flattened his tongue and connected it with your center. Any coherent thought you possessed flew out the window when the tip of his tongue flicked across your clit before moving to suck it gently.

Sighing loudly your head fell back against the sheets hand threading through his hair to push him further into you, which caused all of his movements to halt, internally cursing yourself you whimpered loudly in protest when he extracted himself from you climbing back up your body to meet your face,

“I gave you two very simple instructions baby girl, but you must not remember how to follow my rules.” He clicked his tongue, grabbing ahold of your free wrist and bounding it to the bed just as the other. “You going to listen this time? Or am I going to have to punish you a different way?” He arrogantly asked with amusement in his eyes while he held your chin firmly in his grip. Nodding your head he grinned satisfied with your answer leaving a lingering kiss on your lips going back to his previous position.

His eyes met yours once more as his mouth reacquainted itself with your folds. His finger plunged into your core again moving at a slow pace, “you always taste so good, love.” He commented, adding another finger to the mix and curling them up, causing your hips to jolt towards his face, pulling at your wrists, wanting nothing more than to feel his skin beneath your fingertips. His teasing continued as he alternated his speed between shallow thrusts of his fingers not giving you the advantage of moving your hips in time.

You wanted to beg, beg for more speed, beg for more pressure, beg for anything but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction as sweat started to pour down your chest barely holding in any control frustration starting to grow even stronger, you could taste the blood from the lip you held between your teeth, trying to move your heel into his shoulder to push him closer, harder against you, but he counter by pinning your hips down making you cry out,

“Jay..come on babe. You’re killing me.” You finally admitted.

“Oh so she does talk.” Jay mocked his head rising to look at you, but his fingers started to move deeper. “What do you want?” He asked.

“Please..” You whined.

“Please what? You want more of this?” He curled his fingers up hitting just right making you cry out,

“Yes..just keep...like that..” You panted out hopelessly, grinding your hips in time with his hand now, going at a steady rhythm chasing the release of the growing knot in your stomach.

“See? All you have to do is talk to me, princess. I’m here to please.” He winked lowering his mouth back down to your nub and within two flicks of his tongue you were gone. A prolonged relief built up from desire and teasing of the last couple hours, body tensing hard before relaxing back into the bed wrists starting to hurt from the involuntary intense pulling. After feeling you relax Jay backed away, nose and mouth glistening with your juices. “Best meal I’ve had all week.” Jay joked, licking his lips before leaning down to kiss you where you could still very clearly taste yourself as he forced your mouth open with his tongue regaining his control of the situation.

You felt him reach down hearing the unmistakable sound of his belt buckle followed by his zipper. Wanting to feel him you wiggled your wrists, the metal making noise. Chuckling he leaned up to pull himself free of his constraints before finally releasing your hands. Immediately your hands followed your eyes reaching out to him, but he caught them, “ah ah ah not yet.” He took your wrists pinning them above your head and moving his hips towards yours. Teasing by rubbing his tip against your folds,

“Jay..” you sighed, voice breaking.

“I love when you say my name like that, like you’re falling apart right in my arms.” He smirked, kissing your temple, positioning himself against your entrance. “Ready baby?” He asked looking down at you and you eagerly nodded. Biting his lip he slowly began to push into you, eyes closing at the sensation. Whining you spread your legs wider gladly accepting the intrusion. “I’m pretty sure this is heaven right here.” He sighed bottoming out and letting go of your wrists, allowing your hands to brace against his chest. Slowly starting to move his hips at a steady pace.

“You just fit so perfectly inside me.” You breathed moving to meet his thrusts.

“I don’t know about that. You’re always so fucking tight. Fuck you all the time and it’s never enough.” He commented, speeding up his pace, shifting his hips enough to hit your sweet spot.

“Mmm, right there.” Your hands curled around his biceps. “Harder, please.” You begged and he listened, his hips snapping forward with more force, “Yes!” You cried nails clawing against his back.

“Tell me baby. Tell me you want me to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk when I’m done with you.” He grunted, moving faster with each thrust as you began to feel a familiar knot form in your stomach.

“Hell y-yes baby! Nobody could ev-ever make me feel- ah fuck! This good!” You groaned knot growing tighter and more evident.

“You’re fucking mine. You know that? Only mine.” Jay panted, thumb moving down to circle your clit, making the sensations heightened more than you ever thought possible,

“Oh-h, Jay, yes!” You screamed nails digging into his shoulder blades, vision going white as your body tightened around Jay’s giving him little room to breathe, barely registering him cry out your name, only realizing he finished too when he gently pulled out of you, strings of cum following. Blinking a few times you could still feel your body shaking, his arm wrapped around your stomach to pull you closer, pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder.

“Did I hurt you?” He finally asked after a few minutes.

“No, I don’t think.” You answered voice clearly hoarse as your words cracked.

“I’m sorry.” He continued.

“I would rather you not apologize for that.” You giggled causing him to laugh too.

“Oh definitely not for that, but for getting too jealous. I shouldn’t have asked a question I didn’t want an answer to, and I can’t blame you for what happened in your past.” He explained.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I want you and only you.” You took his face between your hands kissing him.

“Anyone else I should know about?” He asked, eyebrow raised hand rubbing up and down your side lovingly.

“Uh...yeah, so how was your day?” You winced as his eyes grew wider. That could be a conversation for another night.

Tag List: @corebore123

[eggtoasties]

Chapter 2: II. Adagio

Read Chapter 1: I. Allegro

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: Kuroo used to think the best sound in the world was a volleyball hitting the court on the other side of the net. Now, he has other things on his repertoire.

They were both called to the music room during study hall. As Kuroo walked towards Jouda-sensei, he watched as their teacher tried to cajole her into something, unable to catch their words at a distance. Arms crossed, she sent Kuroo an unimpressed stare making him respond with a nervous grin as he came to a stop.

“I was hoping to set you two up for lessons during study hall,” Jouda-sensei said, nodding between the two of them.

“No offense,” she said, quickly glancing at Kuroo, “but I’m paid to do this outside of school. Also, I don’t really have time to meet every single day—shouldn’t Daisuke be doing this? I’m sure he,” she jutted her chin towards Kuroo, “and I will both get called to other teachers and clubs during study hall so I don’t know if this’ll work out,” she huffed.

Eyebrows raised high, Kuroo said, “Wow, didn’t realize I was dead meat to you already, first chair,” resulting in a pout from Jouda-sensei and a glare from her which made him nervously snicker. He put his hands in his pockets, subtly wiping away at the clamminess of his palms.

“Aw, come on now, you know Daisuke-kun isn’t…” Jouda-sensei trailed off, trying to find the words, “the best at teaching. But,” she said brightly, “you’re the leader for a reason! And it doesn’t have to be every day—just coordinate with each other and other people to set up a rotation. I just want Kuroo-kun to be set up with good habits from the start.”

Sighing wearily and nodding, she faced Kuroo as Jouda-sensei left them.

Slouching in what he hoped was a nonchalant pose, he flashed a grin.

“So, are you gonna charge me by the minute?” Kuroo arched his brow. “Because I don’t really have the funds for that. Plus, I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to sell anything on school grounds.” Readjusting his backpack straps and slightly loosening his tie, his eyes met hers quickly before finding a place over her shoulder. “But, if you don’t have time or whatever that’s--” he stumbled over his words, “I’m sure I can figure something out.”

Rolling her eyes, she loosened her school tie. “Yeah, I’m going to charge a thousand yen a minute and if you don’t pay up, I’ll have my goons knock your kneecaps in.”

“Didn’t realize being captain,” she shot him an amused grin and he bookmarked it for later, “of the orchestra came with your own henchmen. Maybe I should’ve started way earlier,” he drawled.

“Yup,” she said cheerily, popping the ‘p.’ “They do all my coursework and bully people out of their lunch money so I can add it to my secret treasury in the cave underneath the school,” she said conspiratorially. “Also,” she began, facing fully towards him. “It’s nice to meet you—I really don’t mind helping you out, it’s just that with my last year of high school things are hectic with exams and applications and I really can’t commit to everyday,” she explained.

His shoulders relaxed with a breath he didn’t know he was holding, previous tension dissipating with her explanation. Kuroo nodded and held out his hand. As she grasped it, he raised a brow at the strength of her small grip and brightly painted nails.

“I get it.” Kuroo finally said. “I’m a third year too and it’s hard enough as it is without having to teach a newbie every day,” he said, semi-fondly thinking of Lev, “—all good.”

“Alright, well,” she said, swaying on the balls of her feet, “let’s get started.”

She had him play open strings so she could assess his posture and Kuroo was not accustomed to being the center of such intense concentration. Sure, he’s served a million times in games where he knew every eye was on him, but she seemed to scrutinize every aspect of his body. The distribution of his weight on his legs, the angle of his shoulders, the slope of his wrists, finger placement, and even his face—there was something to adjust. To be fair, she did say his face looked like he was constipated, but he figured it was because one should always look serene during such a cultured activity.

A gentle tap to the shoulder, a tap to his left inner wrist, her hands guided his body as he became accustomed to the instrument. She stood slightly behind him to his side at one point and gently held his right arm and set another hand on his shoulder to show him how the bow should move. He’s used to his body—Kuroo would say he has a better understanding of what his body is capable of than most people but, gentle movements to work with a foreign object was completely new territory. She’s not teaching him how to read a volleyball midair and figure out what the best millisecond worth of contact is. She’s not grabbing his lanky arms to show him how to position for a block—this is completely different.

He figured it’s one thing to adjust to new innovative plays mid-game and another to feel so entirely helpless and clunky. Although she’s only been patient and gentle, he can’t help but feel unsure and awkward in his body as he tried to follow her instruction. Maybe, Kuroo thought to himself, I should cut Lev some slack.

“Can you feel how your arm hinges at the elbow, but the elbow itself stays still?” she asked, lightly grasping his elbow and guiding his forearm. His skin tingled at the contact through his shirt and he repressed a shiver.

He’s used to physical contact—from his teammates. High fives, hugs, and fist bumps. But from a stranger…it’s different. He’s hyper aware of the calluses of her left hand when she taps the bare skin of his wrists and although each touch is light and fleeting, a part of him wished they’d linger for a little longer.

After a while, she grabbed her instrument and mirrored his movements, showing him the angles of her body in relation to the violin and bow. He stood in awe of the confidence of her actions, drawing a rich deep sound from the strings unlike the scratchy wobbly sounds he’d been producing.

She taught him two scales, explained basic music concepts he vaguely remembered from piano lessons and before he knew it, study hall was coming to a close. Head full with new information, shoulders a little tense, he absentmindedly fixed his tie while they packed up.

“Don’t feel discouraged during class,” she said. “Everyone around you has been playing for years longer. Just keep practicing and you’ll get there.” Adjusting the books in her hand she asked, “Why’d you decide to take orchestra?”

“I needed art credit. Can’t sing, can’t draw, didn’t want to do something on the computer and I didn’t know what band music was,” he shrugged. Immediately, he internally cringed at his explanation.

“Wait, actually--” Before he could try and amend his previous statement, he’s cut off by her laugh.

“You chose well,” she said. Then leaning towards him, she dropped to a faux whisper, “orchestra’s better than band.”

Kuroo felt heat creep up the back of his neck while she laughed so he tilted his head to the side and covered it with a smirk. “I don’t know about that,” he said cockily.

She snorted which did little to calm the confusing beating of his heart and he couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she didn’t take the bait. Oh well, he thought, better try harder.

“You’re the one who enrolled in or-ches-tra,” she said, over enunciating the syllables. “Unless,” she sing-songed, “you feed into the stereotype that athletes are,” she pouted and batted her lashes, “stupid.”

He guffawed at her boldness but revelled in the glint in her eyes and the smug way she held her head.

“It wounds me that you would insult my intelligence without even knowing me,” he sniffed and wiped away a fake tear while she stifled a giggle. “I cannot believe my music teacher—my classmate—my captain has a bias against athletes,” he frowned and tilted his head. Pausing for a beat in contemplation, he sighed and continued lazily, “You must have been one of those kids in elementary school who always got picked last in gym.” He shrugged before delivering the final blow, “So you had no choice but to turn to music.”

He kept his face neutral as he studied her reaction. Her eyes narrowed at him and he broke out into a grin.

“It’s okay to admit it, I promise I won’t ask you to do something impossible like catch a ball or something,” he said, waving a hand placatingly. He caught the corner of her lip twitching despite the deadpan stare she tried to maintain.

“Give me your number,” she said, pulling out her phone.

“Woah, woah,” he said, dodging her attempts to force her phone in his hands. “If this was all an elaborate ruse to ask me out,” he dodged a jab to his side, “you didn’t have to get Jouda-sensei in on it too, who would’ve thought our little prodigy had it bad for the volleyball captain?”

“First of all, study hall is ending, but it seems that you were too preoccupied with trying to flirt with me to notice,” she said as Kuroo crossed his arms indignantly. Was he trying to flirt, he wondered. “Also, you’re forgetting that you’re the one who needs violin teachers,” she explained impatiently, finally getting him to accept her phone.

“Plus, if anything this just shows that you’ve been planning to confess to me for the past three years, but you were too nervous so you used your arts credit as an excuse to talk to me when everyone knows there are easier ways to get the credit,” she rambled as he punched his number in. “Also, you have a stand partner and a section leader—both of whom are not me, so I bet you,” she pointed an accusatory finger, “roped Jouda-sensei into this cozy little arrangement,” she said triumphantly.

Kuroo stuttered. “Maybe you should be a writer—what is up with your imagination?” he asked disbelievingly.

“No, no,” she said breezily, waving a hand absentmindedly, “I just figured you out, no need to feel embarrassed.”

Shifting his weight to one foot and running a hand through his hair, Kuroo’s lip quirked. “Guess you caught me,” he shrugged nonchalantly, extending their jest, “I’ve been in it for the long con, but,” he dropped a little lower to her height. “I never lose.”

Kuroo wanted to stab himself. It’s one thing, he mentally berated, to say those lines in the shower. Another thing entirely to say them to a human being? So used to provoking people just before they really got annoyed, he figured he got too comfortable. While his friends were used to his sarcastic quips and little agitations, not many people threw it right back at him. Should I apologize? Am I going to fail orchestra? Yamamoto was right, I should’ve taken sculpture I should’ve—

He was broken from his internal panic when she gently pushed his shoulder. “Well, seeing that the volleyball team has never won nationals, that seems to be a lie.”

Completely forgetting his previous anxieties, his mouth gaped open. “W-we’re definitely making it to nationals and we’re definitely going to win this year!” he nearly yelled. “A-and since when do you keep up with the volleyball team! This is more evidence that you’ve been trying to get my number for the past decade!”

“Who said anything about the past ten years!” she screeched. Kuroo watched his phone in her hand with concern as she waved her arms in disbelief. “And Yaku’s in my homeroom, idiot. He talks about the team constantly,” finally shoving his phone back to him.

Sighing a little in relief he checked his messages. “If I’m so wrong about you lusting,” she rolled her eyes so hard all he saw was white, “after me for all these years, what’s this!” he exclaimed, presenting his phone screen to her face.

It was a message from her that read: “Tetsu-chan, I think you’re so, so, so, so, sO cute!!” with several brightly colored heart emojis trailing after the message.

She immediately lunged for his phone to which he responded by smugly holding it above her head, pouting a little when she wouldn’t try and jump for it.

“Y-you planned this!” she yelled, making a move to grab at his sleeve.

“Nope,” he said languidly, smoothly side stepping her advances. “You just think I’m so, so, so, so, cute!” he said brightly as he placed his phone in his back pocket.

“I’m going to break your kneecaps in your sleep,” she grumbled.

As the bell rang and study hall ended, he sent her a little wave as he walked to his next class.

“Looking forward to it!”

.

Nearing his next class, he felt a short buzz in his pocket. Pulling out his phone he grinned at the texts. Nothing like riling people up on a Tuesday morning to get his blood pumping.

After he had left her standing in the music room, cheeks tinged pink and arms crossed, she sent him several texts. Many of them listed the ways she was going to abuse his kneecaps—he wasn’t quite sure why she was so fixated on them—poking fun at athlete stereotypes, and how he’d better practice every day.

They spent the day sending each other sporadic insults without heat which eventually devolved into actual questions about each other.

How did you start playing the violin? When did you start volleyball? Do you play in orchestras outside of school? What’s your position? How should I practice? What are sports practices like? What class are you in? What’s your favorite food? What’s your favorite color? What do you mean you bought a chemistry set for fun?

Kuroo was in his history class when he realized he was barely paying attention to the lesson. Expecting his usual meticulous notes when he looked down at his notebook, he saw he had hardly filled half a page of information. Too preoccupied with the little thrill of excitement that came with each text, he couldn’t help but discreetly check his phone every few seconds. He tried paying closer attention to the lecture, but tapped his foot restlessly, itching to see how she responded.

.

The school day ended in a blur and he found himself in front of the club room door. Violin case in hand, he swung open the entrance and proudly stated, “I learned scales today.”

“Fukunaga and I took choir last year and learned scales too,” Yaku responded. “Stop looking so proud about it, it’s literally a basic,” he commented offhandedly as he put on his uniform.

Chest still puffed, Kuroo didn’t let it deter him. “I’m reading music!”

Kenma grimaced over his phone when Lev seemed impressed and Fukunaga tried to stifle his laughter behind his hand.

Pulling top from behind, Kuroo asked, “Yaku, do you know the concertmaster?”

“The, huh?”

“The first chair violinist. Our year, in class 3-B?” Kuroo clarified. “She’s about this tall,” indicating with his hand, “her favorite color’s blue and she really likes fruit tarts?”

Ignoring the questioning glances from his teammates, Kuroo waited expectedly. Yaku paused. Eyes widening in recognition he brightened.

“Yeah! She’s been in my homeroom for the past three years, she’s nice. Smart, big on music, does a bunch of music competition thingies!”

“Thingies?” Kuroo mocked. “How old are you?”

“Shut up you glorified bean pole! I don’t know what she does in her free time, why are you so interested all of a sudden?

“She’s my violin teacher! I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t a serial killer or something,” Kuroo mumbled, tying his shoes a little forcefully.

“Okay,” Yaku drawled out, not believing his teammate. “I know the theatre club always asks her to be in their pit orchestra, but man their funding really got cut over the years, I wonder how they’re going to build the set this year, I mean they’re really trying to out-do themselves and—”

He stopped when he noticed the rest of the team staring at him in varying states of confusion and disbelief.

Yaku sniffed. “I have other interests and friends outside of volleyball, thank you very much…” he said, turning his head.

“Wow,” Yamamoto said, slowly shaking his head from side to side. “Yaku-senpai doing Shakespeare or something, could you imagine?”

“Yaku-senpai would definitely play the jester or something,” Lev chimed in. “But he’s so small would the audience even be able to see him on stage?” He wondered out loud.

Facing away from his bickering teammates, Kuroo hid his flush in the collar of his warm up jacket and willed for the heat to subside. He thought about what Yaku said—not about him being secretly into theatre, which Kuroo would definitely use in the future—but about having other friends outside of volleyball.

He knew he wasn’t as shy as he used to be, thank god, but he realized he had always kept his inner circle small. Not entirely on purpose, but those he spent the most physical proximity to tended to also become close friends—thinking fondly of his parents forcing him to meet Kenma.

He remembered how he nearly threw a tantrum when his Tou-san told him they were visiting neighbors down the street and that they had a son his age that he could play with. The thought of leaving their home—which hardly felt like home at the time of their move—to meet some stranger had filled him with such trepidation he had promised he’d practice the piano harder if he could just stay home.

However, his Tou-san gently grasped him by the shoulder and made him carry the box of oranges to Kenma’s. Multiple hours of awkward stuttering and silent game playing finally bloomed into a tentative friendship with the introduction of a volleyball and Kuroo figured that now Kenma’s more of a brother than anything else.

Outside of his team and casual school acquaintances, Kuroo thinks of Bokuto. A pleasant surprise when they met at a Tokyo training camp. With Bokuto came Akaashi and with Kuroo came Kenma and Kuroo never felt the need to expand beyond his core group. But meeting her—is different.

Different in that she stumbled into his life outside the court and he’s not sure if his fingers had ever been this sweaty from texting all day. He wondered if she’s a sign that he should actively try and meet new people but he quickly discards that idea and chalks it up to serendipity.

“—hey cut it out!” Kai yelled at Yaku lunging for Lev who was holding a volleyball in one hand, “To be or not to be, will Yaku-senpai ever grow again?”

Snapped out of his musings, Kuroo raised two hands to the group, “Alright, alright,” he tried to placate while Kai held Yaku back and Yamamoto cried tears of laughter.

“Keep going, Lev!” Yamamoto egged on.

“Too sleep, perchance to dream,” Lev continued, “that Kuroo-san will finally fix that rooster’s head of his.”

Amidst the collective roar of laughter, Kuroo snatches the volleyball from Lev’s hand and throws it at him.

.

Head lolled back against the train window, grimacing at the pull of his worn muscles, Kuroo stretched in his seat. Next to him, Kenma absentmindedly scrolled on his phone, sporadically showing Kuroo funny tidbits to pass the time on their nightly commute back home.

“Kuroo,” Kenma said as quick fingers typed out a text, “why are you taking this orchestra credit so seriously?”

Pausing for a bit, not-so-subtly reading Kenma’s text, he responded.

“I had a lesson earlier today and it seems like,” he ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know, a disservice,” his voice rose up as a question while his brows drew together, “if I don’t give it my best shot when everyone else is so much better.”

Kuroo shrugged at Kenma’s contemplative nod.

“Anyways,” Kuroo continued, “she said thirty minutes of daily practice for a beginner will go a long way and she said we’d only really focus on the stuff for the concert so hopefully I can manage by then.”

Pausing his scrolling, Kenma looked up at Kuroo and blinked at him.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Kuroo narrowed his eyes at Kenma, having a growing suspicion of where his friend’s thoughts were, but ignored it in favor of watching him scroll through his phone.

Other passengers shuffled around them, coming and going onto their train and Kuroo looked out the window, frowning slightly at the last remnants of sunset fading away to cool indigos.

“Y’know, Kenma, I don’t think I want to just do volleyball for the rest of my life,” Kuroo said softly, breaking the stillness between them.

“No shit,” Kenma responded instantly over the animated beeping of his game. “Your joints definitely can’t take it for the rest of your life.”

Scoffing, Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Please--I mean, I’m going to go to college and still play, but,” he shifted his gaze towards the ceiling of the train car, “I want to learn more things.”

“Yes,” Kenma said slowly, “that makes a lot of sense.”

“I like learning new things, I always want to know more and I don’t know,” he pulled at his shirt collar. “With violin--it feels like I haven’t sucked at something for a while.”

With that Kenma snorted, thinking of when Kuroo tries to play video games with him or that horrendous volleyball club promotional poster Kuroo made that yes, he did take a picture of before crumpling and throwing it in the trash.

Kenma’s game pinged as Kuroo hugged his violin case between his legs.

“Plus,” Kuroo continued, “she said music is kind of like math with the rules and the counting, and when it all comes together like pieces of a puzzle it makes your hair rise and I feel like that’s kinda like volleyball too.”

“You get goosebumps when you solve a math problem,” Kenma repeated slowly.

“Missing the point there, but yes.” Contemplating a bit he added, “More when I balance a chemical reaction, but yeah, why?”

Kenma paused his game and set it on his lap, lips twitching.

“You’re not allowed to judge me,” Kuroo complained.

“I am,” Kenma responded quickly.

“Well quit it.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Kenma popped the knuckles of his fingers and unpaused his video game.

“No.”

They sat there for a beat, each thinking about the unknowns--the unknown power of this new boss guarding the princess in the tower and the unknown of the near future, where game plays are traded for textbooks and the hopeful future of featherlight, fleeting touches and sweet, sweet melodies.

[kitty0boy]

So it’s like 2 am rn and I’m tired but can’t sleep so I wrote this down quickly. It’s a little Marichat fic that probably won’t be very good because I’m running on like 5 hours of sleep. I’ll probably fix spelling mistakes tomorrow or even just delete this but for now, enjoy.

—————————

The class decided to have a picnic to celebrate their last year at Francois DuPont high school. They were about 17 now, some were 18. Everyone lounged around, eating pastries, talking about their first day back from summer and just genuinely having a good time. Unfortunately Adrien’s father had instructed him to go home so while he packed his belongings, he listened to his friends conversations. That was when he saw a younger girl run up to Lila.

Now Adrien knew he had a lot of fans, as Chat and as himself. The older and more, how you say, well defined he became, the more fans he acquired. Though when it came to Chat, being a fangirl was much more dangerous. At one point it got so bad that Ladybug had to schedule an interview with the Ladyblog telling them to stay away during akuma attacks. They would quite literally, chase after Chat while he was being chased after by an akuma. He even saw one of them pretend to be hurt so he would swoop in and save them. Yeah very dangerous stuff. Which is why it was quite a scared to hear that Lila was a fan.

“Of course I’m a fan of his, in fact, I’m quite close with one of Paris’s superheroes.” She spoke, hiding the lying tone to her voice. As irritating as she was, he had to admit she was good. “Really?” The girl squealed. She was on the younger side, maybe 13 or 14, about his age when he first got his Miraculous. “Oh leaving so soon Adrien?” She said in a sickeningly sweet voice. “Yeah, my father again.” He replied, trying to sound friendly. “I can walk you home if you like! I wanted to speak with Mr. Agreste anyways. About our up coming photo shoot.” Damn it, he’d almost forgotten about that. He hated shoots with Lila. Adrien had always liked physical affection, but with her it was almost unbearable. “No that’s ok, I can walk him.” Marinette offered, stepping in to shield him from the object of his discomfort. And what a beautiful shield she was.

Her days of pigtails were over, instead she would wear her hair in different styles everyday. Today was a half up half down style with space buns, very reminiscent of her fight as Multimouse. She has also settled for a mint green t-shirt and a black skirt which clearly paid homage to his superhero self. It was nearly impossible to wipe the Cheshire grin off his face as she strode over, picnic basket in hand. He was visiting her while she finished the little paw prints along the hem of the skirt, but of course she wouldn’t know that. “Wow miss, I really like your outfit! Where’d you get it?” The girl squeaked rushing over. Her eyes shining with pure joy. “Oh why thank you, I actually made it myself.” She curtsied, very adorably in his opinion. “Wow that’s so cool! Could you make me one?” If she got anymore excited she would float into space. “You know, I can get Chat to stop by if you wanted.” Lila chimed in, drawing the girls attention back to her. “Really?” She turned and ran towards her new favourite person. “Of course I can, my boyfriend always seems to find me.” She faked a gasp and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. “Whoops.” She exhaled. The class gasped. That was what she was looking for.

“You’re dating Chat Noir Lila?” Marinette snickered, silencing them. It was clear that Lila had more influence over the class now. As much as they all loved Marinette, Lila had successfully made herself more interesting. “Yes I am, but I wasn’t supposed to say that. Oh no, I’m going to get into so much trouble.” She delicately placed her fists over her chest for added effect. Marinette burst out laughing and that’s when Adrien slowly started to back away unnoticed by his friends.

He ran and ducked into an alley way making sure he wasn’t followed. “Oh come on kid, I didn’t even get anything from the picnic. You should have at least slipped me something.” Plagg groaned. “I will after I go sort this mess out, it’s dangerous if people think Lila is dating me, she could be targeted by Hawkmoth.” He rationalized. “Big deal, if she gets akumatized we can just purify her no problem.” “Uh yeah Plagg it is a big deal. What if Hawkmoth kidnaps her instead, as much as I don’t like her I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.” “Well kid if she gets kidnapped because she lied about dating you it’s not your fault is it? Now can I at least finished eating?” He sighed, Plagg was right. If she got kidnapped now she only had herself to blame. An idea did pop into his head. Maybe if she was proven wrong, she might stop saying things like that, and he knew the purrfect purrincess to help him achieve his goal. “Later, Plagg Claws Out!” A flash of green later and there’s stood Chat Noir, in all his leather-clad glory. Hopping onto the roof, he made to move towards them when the sound of shouting caught his attention.

“Do you realized how dangerous it is to even say things like that!” Marinette squeaked, really living up to her super identity and the mysterious multimouse. “You can’t just tell people you’re dating superheroes for attention Lila, you’re safety could be at risk.” She pointed, Lila seemed to be unphased but there was something about her posture that showed she was guilty and ticked off. “I already told you I didn’t mean to let it slip, I have a rare condition c-“ “called Liars Luny or something like that right?” Marinette interrupted. He had to hold back a laugh at her clever remark. “Marinette that was incredibly rude.” Rose intervened, and one by one everyone turned their faces to Marinette, a glared placed on almost all of them. All but Nino and Alya, who had long discovered Lila’s manipulative ways. Though they were still afraid to say anything about it, they didn’t want her to get akumatized after all.

“Look Marinette, if you’re jealous just say so, I won’t be mad. I’m sure a lot of other women would love to get their hands on my sweet kitten. I mean, considering your outfit it’s pretty obvious you have a crush on him.” You know, for a compulsive liar, Lila seemed to be good at getting the truth out of others. Marinette’s face turned pink and her fists began to clench. Her back stiffened up too, was she really jealous? Or was it just his imagination. Maybe he hoped she was, he had fancied her for a while now but he never made a move. Suddenly his classmates were surrounding her and she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

His anger from earlier started to rise to his chest as he let out a low growl and leapt off the roof. Thankfully, his years as a model made him a fairly decent actor as well.

“Fancy seeing you here my purrincess.” He purred walking over to the group. “You look radiant as always.” Lila stiffened but quickly tried to look relaxed as she confidently strode towards him. “It’s nice to see you here too kitten, couldn’t stay away from me I see.” She smiled, it almost looked genuine. It didn’t take long for her possi of classmates to follow behind, leaving Marinette standing there clearly distraught, he growled again as a tear slid down her cheek. Keeping it cool, he cooked up a response. “Umm, I’m sorry but do I know you?” He said in mock confusion. The class gasped slightly, “Of course you know me, didn’t you just call me your princess?” Lila chimed, placing a hand on his shoulder. “No. I have no idea who you are, I was talking to the lovely lady in green and black. She is radiant isn’t she, and she looks fantastic in my colours.” He replied cooly. Before anyone had time to react he ran through the crowd and picked up Marinette, twirling her in a circle. She giggled slightly, her throat a little strained. She placed her forearms on his shoulders, intertwining her fingers behind his head as he slowly lowered her to the ground. “What’s wrong love?” He reached up, gently brushing a tear from her cheek. She got the hint to play along. “Nothing I’m all good kitty.” She smiled genuinely and he smiled back. Ignoring the eyes of everyone around them. He held up his arm and gestures to her skirt. “Do you see all of these little paw prints? She sewed them all herself! It took her 4 hours too, I almost couldn’t draw her attention away from the stitching.” She blushed and buried her face in his shoulder, oh mon dieu she was so cute. “And these shoes,” he scooped her up bridal style and she laughed. “See the little toe beans, how adorable.” The girls squealed and ran over to admire her craftsman ship while the boys kept glaring daggers at Ms. Lie-la. “Ok now stand back everyone! We have to show you how it spins.” Marinette cocked and eyebrow at him. “How it spins? Excuse me sir but my pronouns are she/her.” He chuckled before pinching the black fabric of her skirt. “No I mean this, you did wear shorts today did you not?” “I did.” She confirmed. “Good,” he subtly winked at her before continuing, a little louder than necessary, “Wouldn’t want everyone else seeing what’s mine now would we.” Before she could register his words he held a hand above her head and gave her a little twirl, her skirt flowing beautifully in the wind. “See what’d I tell you? Absolutely beautiful.” He turned and smiled down at her, she blushed back up at him. Dieu, he could happily die drowning in her eyes. The two of them seemed to be in a world of their own, just looking at each other.

Until a voice snapped them back to reality. “I can’t believe you! You filthy cheater!” As well as a liar, Lila was a good actor. Tears streaming down her cheeks, arms straighten and hands curled into fists. He rolled his eyes before forcing them to look at a more revolting sight. “Like I said miss, I have no idea who-“ he paused “Oh wait I remember you! You were the liar that nearly got Marinette expelled weren’t you! The one who tried to intervene when Onii-chan was akumatized just because you disliked Ladybug.” He didn’t mean to get so angry but he couldn’t hide it anymore. His hand gripped Marinette’s shoulder a little more tightly than he would have liked but she wasn’t hurt by it. Everyone gasped on cue and turned to Lila who stood there pale. Karma is a bitch isn’t it? In his fury he barely registered Marinette’s hand on his arms. “Come on Chat, let’s get out of here.” She whispered. Coaxing him back to the present. “Yeah ok, I’m sure your friends will deal with her.” She smiled at her classmates who had turned towards Lila with furious looks on their faces. “Did you have a place in mind mousinette.” She giggled at that. “Well there’s always that spot you took me to the first time you came to visit, remember where it is?” She smiled. “I don’t think I would forget that.” He turned towards the crowd. “Welp, me and the princess will be taking our leave now, though I did enjoy seeing you all again.” Then he stooped down to pick her up bridal style as she giggled. For good measure he placed a light kiss to her temple before racing off towards that lovely spot they had just discussed.

“WHAT THE F***.” The fangirl screamed after all the confusion.

———————————

So it’s been a month or two since I first posted this and I decided to clean it up a bit and add a few more details to it. Not that this is suddenly going to blow up but I do like the impurrovement (hehe I have puns for days). So yes, if by some miracle you are reading this, I hope you enjoyed!

[sincerelyasomebody]

Give An Inch || Oscar "Spooky" Diaz

(GIF Credit: @merakiaes)

A/N: Not proofread, apologises. Feel free to point out any mistakes with the Spanish translations. Thanks!

Pairing(s): Spooky x Reader ▪︎ The Core 5 x Reader (platonic relationship) 

Summary: A helping hand is mistaken for something else. 

Warnings: fluff, language, mention of smut (very light), mentions of a baby, sexist comments, 

Word Count: 1815

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

"Come on, (Y/N)." Jamal begged, trying to snatch the bag filled with candy, "just one more and I promise I'll stop asking." 

"No, Jamal," she reprimanded the teenager, "you've eaten enough candy as it is."

He huffed, the rest of the group laughing at his misfortune. Oscar shook his head, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, clicking his tongue, "eh, just give him one." 

She looked at him, "and have him throw up on himself? I don't think so." She glanced over at the group and back at him, "besides, he keeps grabbing the (flavour) ones and there's hardly any left." 

With a laugh, he kissed her forehead, "so it's not about his well being? It's 'cause he keeps taking the ones you like?" 

"Shut up," was her response. 

That made him laugh harder, causing the group of teenagers to look back at the couple. Cesar smiled at how carefree his brother looked whereas his friends were still surprised, despite knowing of the couple's marital status. 

They and their families, the Santos and (Y/N)'s family were present at the courthouse, a simple but elegant affair. Despite her mother's protest about a big wedding, (Y/N) was more focused on spending the rest of her life with Oscar and Cesar (they were a packaged deal). She didn't care where they got married. 

It had been months since that court appearance and (Y/N) and Oscar had fallen in love with each other more everyday. Yes, they had their disagreements, but before the sun set apologises were said and a round of cuddles were given. He may have been a tough Santos leader, but Oscar was big on affection. 

A relaxed date night for the pair turned into an eventful group outing. (Y/N) didn't mind, having grown accustomed to having the teenagers around (even Jasmine with her big personality, something she really admired). Oscar was annoyed, but adjusted to having her attention shared. 

The teenagers began to disagree on whether to try their luck with the games or grab a bite to eat. The girls wanted to play some games and the boys wanted to get some more food. (Y/N) decided to make the decision for them, looking at Oscar, "you go with the boys and I'll go with the girls," she laughed, taking note of his unimpressed look, "they're not that bad." 

Right on cue, Jamal and Ruby began arguing about the most problematic person in the 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days cast. Cesar stood by, saying nothing and somehow got dragged into the debate. (Y/N) shook her head and pecked Oscar's cheek, "good luck." 

And with that, she walked off with the girls in tow. 

The three walked around for quite a bit before deciding on playing Whac-a-Mole; no lines, reasonably priced and the prizes were really good. (Y/N) handed the attendant the money and watched the game light up. 

"How do you plan on winning?" Monse asked, knowing that a bunch of the games were rigged. 

"By imagining something that pisses me off," she replied. Both girls quirked an eyebrow and watched as she hit almost every single mole that popped out of its hole. When the game ended, she glanced over at them, "see?" 

They laughed at her chosen stuffed animal being a wolf, knowing her obsession with dogs, when the attendant asked about her prize. Taking a step back, she allowed the girls to decide if they wanted to play a game. 

Unbeknownst to her, a figure had been watching from afar and decided right at that moment to start up a conversation. 

(Y/N) felt a presence move closer, she smiled thinking they were passing by, but instead stopped right in front of her. Her eyebrows furrowed, as she took in the person; solid build, tall and tanned skin. 

"The name's Damian," he introduced himself.

She nodded, "hello, Damian, I'm (Y/N). Did you need something?" 

Before he could reply a mallet hit the side of his head. She covered her mouth to stifle her laughter, eyes looking at the direction of where it flew to find Monse nodding towards Jasmine, the girl giving a sheepish grin. (Y/N) turned back around to find Damian rubbing his head.

"Well… uh, that was… something," he muttered, picking up the object and holding it out. 

"Sorry," Jasmine apologised, taking it and giving it back to the attendant.

(Y/N) noticed his cheek darkening, "you might need some ice for that," she held up her finger, "follow my finger, please." A couple seconds later, she concluded, "you don't seem to have a concussion, but you should check out the medical tent." 

He smiled, "you in the medical field?" 

"A nurse at the local hospital." 

"Beauty and brains," he complimented

She shook her head, "come on I'll take you," she glanced over her shoulder, "tell the guys where I'm going, okay? I shouldn't be long." 

Monse and Jasmine nodded at her instructions, sharing a look when she walked around the corner, hopefully Spooky wasn't nearby. 

But of course, luck wasn't on their side. 

"You girls win anything?" 

They turned around and found Cesar walking ahead of the group, a grin plastered across his face holding up a teddy bear and handing it over to Monse. Jamal and Ruby holding a slushie and a churro in their hands. Spooky took notice of the missing figure, his eyes staring at the pair, "where's (Y/N)?" 

Jasmine piped up, "at the medical tent," when she noticed their concerned faces she quickly added, "don't worry, she's not hurt. She took a guy there 'cause I hit him in the head with a mallet." 

"You hit him with a mallet?" questioned Ruby, taking a sip of his slushie. 

"Sí, pero no propósito," she gestured to the truck, "I was using it for the game, they really need to tape that shit down."  

Jamal's eyebrows scrunched together, "aren't those things attached?" 

"Yeah, they are," Monse replied, "well.. one used to be." 

As the group got on the subject of other carnival games, they didn't notice Spooky slipping away to find (Y/N). Always being down to help whoever with whatever, it didn't come as a surprise to him hearing she had walked the guy over to the medical tent. It was a trait he loved about her, but of course it had setbacks. 

With a heart as big as hers, there were some people who liked to take advantage of her goodwill. 

If the guy fell into that category, then he was in for a rude awakening.

He walked around the corner, avoiding a bunch of kids running with their parents trying to keep up with them. Passing by several tents he found the one he was looking for. It wasn't that hard as an ambulance, cots and paramedics stuck out among the food trucks and carnival games. 

His eyes focused on her, her hands clutching a stuffed animal, a smile crossed his face taking note of it being a wolf. She let out a laugh and continued talking to the person next to her. He moved towards them, his pace picking up when he noticed her twiddling her thumbs, a subtle sign that showed she was beginning to feel uncomfortable. 

"Cariño." He called out. 

Her head turned in his direction, a big smile on her face as she rose to her feet. When he was close enough, she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. When she released her hold, she pecked his lips. 

Quickly bending down to pick up the wolf plushie.  

After shaking it, she held it up to his face, "say hello to the new love of my life." 

He kissed his teeth, "new love? The only new love of your life is gonna be the baby I put in you, esta noche." 

She gasped and hit his chest, laughing when he pulled her in and kissed the top of her head. 

"Uh… you're taken?" 

The couple turned to the figure holding the ice pack to his cheek. (Y/N) nodded, "yep, happily taken." Holding up her left hand to reveal just how taken she was.

Damian shook his head, "you're married and walking around as if you're single? Wow, aren't you a great catch." 

Her eyebrows furrowed, at the switch in his tone, "excuse you?" 

"You led me on."

"Led you on?" She scoffed, "how?" 

He gestured to the tent, "you brought me here." 

"Yeah, I brought you here to make sure you were okay," she replied, "and before you say anything about me staying with you, I thought I'd keep you company before your friends arrived." 

"You have to train her better," Damian shifted his focus to Oscar, "can't have your wife leading men on like some bitch in heat." 

Before (Y/N) could blink, Oscar gripped the front of Damian's shirt and pulled him close their nose centimetres apart, "don't fucking talk to her like that, understand me?" Damian just blinked, causing Oscar to give him a shake, "I asked you a question." 

He nodded, "yeah, I won't. Ever again." 

Oscar loosened his grip, nodding towards the bruising on the side of his head, "next time it'll be a bullet," at the scared look he received, he smirked, "now, apologise to my wife, pendejo." 

"I'm sorry." 

"She has a name." 

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)." 

"What are you sorry for?" 

"I'm sorry, (Y/N) for calling you a bitch and assuming that you were interested." Damian apologised. 

She nodded, "thank you." 

"When a woman is interested, she'll make it clear that she's interested." Oscar explained, "if she isn't interested, back off." 

"Right, got it." 

"But with your obscured view on women, I doubt they'd be interested," (Y/N) snickered, "all that muscle on you and you're nothing but a punk ass bitch." 

Oscar held her hand in his, giving the back of it a kiss, "come on," when they were about a metre away, (Y/N) called out, "enjoy the rest of your night, Damian. You sexist pig." 

This received a few stares from those surrounding the other tents but the couple kept walking as if nothing had happened. (Y/N) allowed Oscar to lead them back to wherever the group of teenagers were. When she spotted them, she stopped her movement, causing Oscar to halt in his.

"What's wrong?" 

She smirked and moved in close, fingers fiddling with the button of his shirt, "do you wanna get started?'

His eyebrow arched, "get started on what?" 

"On putting that baby in me…. Unless, you've changed your mind and -" 

She laughed when he gripped her hand and dragged her in the direction of the car, throwing a comment about texting Cesar that she wasn't feeling well and to stay the night at Monse's when she asked about the group noticing their disappearance. 

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ - 

Spanish Translation(s): 

Sí, pero no propósito - yeah, but not on purpose

Cariño - dear or darling 

Esta noche - tonight 

Pendejo - asshole or bastard

[celestialraes]

~Young Blood Broken Souls~ (The Owl House Angst Fanfic)

Contains spoilers

Cursing

And mental deterioration

It wasn’t supposed to end up this way.

It was never supposed to end up this way.

The amount of pure trust and admiration Lilith had for the emperor had disintegrated in mere seconds.

He lied to her.

He lied to everyone.

And now here she was, stuck in a cage watching as her sister was about to get petrified.

Watching as her sister was about to die.

Lilith gripped her dress and gritted her teeth staring up at her frantic sister, trying, begging to find some way out of that cage.

Her eyes fell to the floor as her erratic breathing began to come to a halt. Before she looked up again, gasping as she watched the petrification machine start up.

Her eyes widened as she watched her little sister only begin to realize what was about to happen.

The 3 headed statue’s eyes glowed a bright green before a bright blast of light and magic was formed, heading straight for Eda.

She watched in terror.

King screamed Eda’s name, Eda froze, becoming completely still.

Lilith’s top teeth grinded against her bottom ones, she squeezed her eyes shut and practically ripped into her dress with her nails.

This wasn’t happening. It was all a bad dream, a nightmare that she wasn’t waking up from. She was sound asleep in her bed at the coven, this wasn’t happening.

It was all a bad dream.

All a bad dream.

* * *

She remembered the first time she met The Emperor.

She had only been in the Emperor’s Coven for a few weeks when he had summoned her.

He had wanted to meet ‘the powerful witch that braved off the monstrous owl demon.’

Lilith felt good about herself.

More than good about herself.

But she couldn’t fight off all the other feelings combating her joy.

As she vigorously brushed her curly red hair that morning, most people would’ve thunk that as she did she wouldn’t be able to stop smiling.

She wasn’t able to stop frowning.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror as she tried to make her lips curl upward in a grin. It didn’t work, and as she finished brushing her hair, adding hairspray to hold the poof in place, the minutes slipped away from her and she was soon standing in front of the Emperor’s throne room door.

She fiddled with her hands, (a nervous action she had since she was a child), and raised one hand to knock when a booming voice quickly spoke.

“You could just open the door, please, we’re all equals here.”

Emperor Belos.

Her hand shot back from the door, and her mind began to race in several different directions. ‘How did he do that? Could he see the future? Could he hear her thoughts? Did he know of her regret?’ But she pushed it all away, and gripped both door handles, swinging them open and walking in, hearing them click shut behind her.

Except it wasn’t a click, it was a loud boom the sounded through the entire room.

She walked towards the throne, staring at the floor and practically dragging her feet the whole way.

She kneeled down and squeezed her eyes tightly shut, refusing to look up at him until she knew for a fact she was breathing in a steady pattern.

When she saw him for the first time she couldn’t stop her mouth from gaping open, and a small gasp form escaping her now painfully chapped lips.

There he was, Emperor Belos himself, sitting on a throne, looking more intimidating and powerful in person than he ever had been when he made his short appearances on the crystal ball.

She quickly shut her mouth and regained her composure when he began to speak yet again.

“Lilith Clawthorne, please stand.”

She did as instructed, her arms glued to her sides like a nutcrackers’ as she stared up at him, glaring down at her through his mask as he sat high above her on his throne.

“I must say I am impressed with your bravery Miss Clawthorne. That Owl Beast was ferocious but you stood your ground. You truly do belong to this Coven.”

She should have felt honored. But all she she felt was bitter. Bitter to this man, to this, Emperor.

She practically spat his name out.

“Thank you Emperor Belos, but I wasn’t all that brave..”

She wasn’t brave at all! In fact, right after she transformed her first instinct was to run, run after her sister into the woods. But she was stopped. She had already sealed her fate.

But him calling her brave wasn’t the problem. It was ‘The Owl Beast,’ he was talking about Edalyn. Her little sister. All she wanted to do was punch him square in the jaw, that sounded like something Edalyn would do though.

And she wasn’t like her sister.

The sister that she cursed.

She practically tasted the guilt in her mouth before she was snapped out of yet another trance, by the Emperor himself. But this time, he sounded, impatient...?

“Don’t be nonsensical Lilith.” He waved a hand in the air, literally waving her previous statement off. “Your bravery should be, rewarded.”

Lilith didn’t like the condescending way he had said it. But she brushed it off as just her nervousness.

She gulped, swallowing whatever pride she had left as she became worryingly nervous.

“R-Rewarded?” She mentally cursed herself out for stuttering infront of the Emperor, but she was most definitely not the first to do it.

“Yes.”

The Emperor snapped his fingers and another Emperor’s Coven member, fully clad in the uniform stepped forward and stopped in front of Lilith, holding out a red velvet pillow, with an object on it.

Emperor Belos spoke as Lilith picked the object off of the pillow and held it inbetween two of her fingers.

“A gift from me, to you.”

She immediately recognized what the gift was.

It was a gem.

Gem’s were common in Boiling Isles fashion but this one was, special.

It was a light blue, even kinda tealish color that matched her eyes. Her mother had one of those that she wore everyday. But hers was only worth about 50 snails.

This one looked to be worth 500 at minimum.

There had to be some kind of catch.

“Y’know Lilith-”

There it was.

“Friends, give each other gifts. How would you like more of those?” He pointed down from his throne to the gem in Lilith’s hands.

“Gems?”

“Gifts Lilith, gifts.”

Lilith stared down in embarrassment before looking back up, realizing that the person with the velvet pillow had gone and was nowhere to be seen.

She skeptically spoke again this time question herself as she spoke. “...Yes???”

The Emperor’s tone turned even darker if that was possible.

“Was that a question or an answer?”

Her head shot down to the floor once again. He was treating her like her father always would. But he was The Emperor, and she couldn’t wouldn’t talk back to him.

She looked back up, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath before reopening them and speaking yet again. “Yes.”

The Emperor chuckled darkly, a chuckle that sent shivers down her spine, causing her to stand up tall as sweat dripped down her forehead.

“How would you like to... Ascend our ranks?”

Lilith froze in place, staring up at the intimidating Emperor, this time she didn’t skip a beat in her response.

“Yes.”

“Then bring me your sister. I’ll heal your mistake and she will join the coven, just as was originally intended.”

Originally intended?

Before Lilith could question what that had meant her mind became clouded with guilt.

She looked down at the floor, clenching her fists as she squeezed the gem in her right hand.

He was right.

It was her mistake.

No one else’s.

And he would fix it.

For her.

She looked up at the Emperor, her confidence flowing back to her in a rush of waves. She pinned the gem to her uniform/outfit, a place where it would permanently stay. And stood tall, taller than she ever had before in her short life.

“I will.”

* * *

That was the second worst decision of her life.

The first being, well, the curse.

And now, her she was, thrown out and cast aside, her status gone, having lost everything, watching as her sister was about to die.

No.

This was not how it was going to end.

Not for Eda anyway.

The blast of light and magic practically blinded Lilith as she jumped up, ignoring her lungs gasping for breath as she ran.

She didn’t need to run, the cage wasn’t very big, but she felt like she needed to. She felt like she needed to be heroic.

Everything went in slow motion as she practically threw herself in front of Eda, taking the hit from the beam.

She felt her body cease up, she heard King gasp in shock, and she heard Edalyn scream.

Scream her name.

* * *

The rush of air to her lungs caused Lilith to let out a gasp, before she was overcome by dizziness and fell to the floor. Well, if it could even be called that.

It was pitch black, and when Lilith finally went to look at her surroundings she realized, everything was black. She was in a sort of void.

She slowly stood up, her dizziness subsiding as she looked at her surroundings. Or, well, lack thereof.

There was nothing.

Nothing but a door at far end of the void.

Eda’s bedroom door.

Lilith held her breath for a few moments as she practically felt the wind get knocked out of her. She couldn’t breath.

She let out yet another death-defying gasp, panting heavily as if she’d been just running a marathon.

What was happening to her?

All of a sudden she couldn’t breath, she couldn’t speak, all she could do was stare, stare at the door.

But then, she started walking. It was as if Lilith herself wasn’t in control of anything she did, all she could do was stare as she walked closer and closer to the door. Until she grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.

And she was back where she started with the door farther away than it originally was. Or was she farther than she was before? She didn’t really know.

Lilith’s eyes went wide as she stared ahead at the magically moving door. She ran this time, her legs pumping, trying not to trip and fall on hem of her dress. She reached an arm out, going to touch the door, going to hold onto it for dear life, when it vanished into thin air.

She stumbled, barely catching herself in the end as she glared down at the ground before her head shot up.

The door was at the farthest part of the abyss she could see. She yelled out in anger and ran to it again, and again, and again.

She kept running to it, grabbing the doorknob, and twisting until she was back at square one yet again.

The more she did it the farther the door went, the farther Lilith had to run to get to it. Mere seconds turned to minutes of nonstop running.

It wasn’t like the first time, when she couldn’t even divert her path from the door. She had full control of herself. She could run away from the door if she really wanted to.

Then why did she keep running to it?

Maybe it was a sense of security. Knowing that her little sister was behind that door. Or maybe it was because it could have been a way out. Lilith still didn’t know.

But she wanted to leave. She wanted to see her little sister.

But the door kept teasing her until her legs gave out beneath her, and she was taken over by another force.

A force that wrapped around her body until it suffocated her, making her gasp for air as tears came down her face by the gallon, even though she didn’t want them to.

It let go and the air returned to her lungs in a painful jab, as if she had swallowed a knife whole.

She breathed erratically as she slammed her fists onto the groundless void, a splash of wet, pitch black liquid splashing onto her dress.

The ground had morphed into some kind of shallow tide pool, the rest of the void’s color turning a deep gray, contrasting the black in a way a raging storm would be to a ravaging ocean.

Her mouth tasted salty from her continuously falling tears, but as she bent over to look at her reflection in the black inky abyss her vision became clouded by shards of black.

Her tears.

Her tears were black.

Her hands shot from the inky water to her eyes in seconds flat, wiping them clean before her black tears clouded her vision yet again.

Her entire body shook as she managed out a painful sob, another jab at her raw lungs that wracked her body and made her sob even more.

Running.

She was just running.

How did it come to this in just a few measly minutes?

Lilith didn’t know why or how it had, but she didn’t have any time to think before all the guilt she’d been experiencing for the past 20 years flooded her thoughts, filling her with immense guilt and sadness.

So there she was, sobs painfully wracking her body, black tears bleeding from her eyes, as she was collapsed in a shallow pool of the inky abyss’ water.

Until she wasn’t.

The water wrapped around and middle and tugged her down backwards, practically giving the witch whiplash in the process.

She was deep under the previously shallow water now, the air in her cheeks being the only thing keeping her from drowning under there.

Through her pain Lilith used whatever energy she had left and swam up to the surface, but just as her hand was about to pierce the top the force wind around her middle and tugged her down again.

This time refusing to let go.

It dragged her down, and down, and no matter how much she wriggled and squirmed she couldn’t escape its grasp.

The force pressed on her stomach, pushing the remaining air out of her mouth and lungs. She gasped, her hands quickly grasping around her mouth before the force forced them down to her sides.

She was choking, drowning on the black inky abyss’ water, with nothing she could do about it.

The water quickly filled her lungs to the brink as she began coughing up a storm, only making her breathing situation worse.

But she wasn’t drowning, she was only choking on the ink as the force dragged her deeper, and deeper, and deeper.

She could no longer see the abyss’ gray sky. It was only the black inky water, that was choking her, and choking her, and choking her.

Lilith’s vision was still blurry with tears as she finally gave up on her squirming, now fully realizing she was being dragged to her own grave.

Lilith Clawthorne was hurting.

Physically, emotionally,

mentally.

And there was nothing she could do about it.

Except endure her own suffering.

***

Luz didn’t know what to expect when they unpetrified Lilith, but she knew for a fact she didn’t expect the witch to let out a blood curdling scream and fall.

Amity rushed forward and caught Lilith in her arms, the witch was breathing erratically as she dug her fingernails into Amity’s wrists and hid her face in the younger witch’s chest.

Gus spoke breathlessly.

“We didn’t kill anyone this time.”

Willow slapped him hard on the arm before looking to Luz with an apologetic look.

The 24 year old latina looked at the ground solemnly before taking a deep breath and walking forward to where Amity held Lilith tightly in her arms, awkwardly massaging the older witch’s back.

Luz placed a reassuring hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder before looking back at the sobbing, shaking mess that was Lilith Clawthorne.

She inspected Lilith of any signs of hostility, and she felt like a dick in doing so, but she didn’t want to risk her lover and best friends’ safety. But seeing the way Lilith, Lilith Clawthorne, the stonefaced leader of the Emperor’s Coven throw her walls down and collapse in tears...

Luz knew she wouldn’t hurt a fly.

***

Lilith didn’t speak for the first 3 weeks.

She just... Was there?

She ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner with them. Sat on the couch and stared off into the crystal ball. And went to sleep.

She slept in Eda’s untouched, dust filled room, in the old rotting nest that hadn’t been used since 10 years earlier.

She stared a lot too, inspecting every little thing around her. She stared at conversations between Luz and Amity, between Willow and Gus, at a plant etc.

She even stared at the quiet shell that was Hooty. Hooty didn’t talk much anymore, that was what they had in common.

She also didn’t stay around anyone for to long. Amity had offered Lilith clothes once but she just shook her head and went on her not-so-merry way.

She wasn’t surprised. For titans sake she had been stuck in a statue for 10 years! And she never liked Luz, Willow, Gus, and maybe even Amity that much anyway.

But there was something different about this avoidance and routine.

Something was very different about Lilith herself.

Her turquoise eyes didn’t have the same determination as they did before, in fact they were the dullest Luz had ever seen them. Almost gray, even.

Her stature was different too, Luz and co. often found Lilith hugging herself and staring down at the floor, always wearing a frown. She also slouched more often than not, much different from how she held herself before.

She looked like a kicked puppy, in short. Or like King when he didn’t get his way-

King.

Luz felt her heart ache in her chest as her fingers painfully curled around the fabric of her shirt.

It still hurt, and she knew that it always would.

Owlbert flew to her shoulder and let out a reassuring hoot, nuzzling the humans neck. She smiled and gave her boo boo buddy a scratch on the head.

Luz’s thoughts and actions came to an abrupt halt when she heard the screeching of one of the dining room chairs against the floor.

Lilith ran into the living room and stared at Luz for a good few seconds before her eyes shot to the owl on her shoulder. Even Owlbert couldn’t hate her, not now.

She walked up to Luz, staring at her feet and fiddling with her hands the entire time. She stood like that for a good few minutes, staring at her feet and playing with her hands. It was awkward, and for a second Luz thought she was petrified again.

She was about to walk away and leave Lilith to her own devices, and her own sadness when the witch finally looked up and stared at Luz dead in the eyes. And with her own void of life and emotionless voice, she asked one question.

“Where’s Eda?”

A sob wracked through Luz’s entire body before she could say anything, and she fell to the floor in a ball of tears, her entire body shaking from the force of her own sobs.

Owlbert started hooting alarmingly and Amity ran from the kitchen and was at Luz’s side in a flash, consoling her girlfriend with hushes as she held her to her chest like she did for Lilith 3 weeks earlier.

And Lilith just stood there, staring.

***

Lilith wasn’t stupid. She knew the answer to her question the moment Luz fell to floor. She knew it, but she didn’t want to believe it. She never wanted to believe it.

Her little sister was dead.

And so was her housepet but Lilith was more torn apart that she lost her little sister.

Her little sister.

The one she was supposed to protect until the end. The one that was supposed to outlive her. Was dead, and it was all Lilith’s fault. She knew that.

But now, as she stared up at the ceiling of the bedroom, her sister’s bedroom, tears coming down her face in a silent flood she thought about life.

About why it had to take her bestfriend from her, her sister from her. She thought about if Eda had taken fit for granted just as she had.

She gripped the blanket tighter, her nails almost piercing through it.

And she thought of why she was still even there.

***

They visited the graveyard the next morning.

Willow had led Lilith in through the gate by her elbow, without it it seemed as if the witch would collapse to the ground.

To say the air around the 4 witches and human was tense and depressing would be an understatement.

They never liked visiting Eda and King’s graves, of course they missed the two of them but it just made them-

Hurt more.

But they would pull through it, for Lilith.

The group made their way past a plethora of differently shaped graves, each with their own engravement with their name, death date, and cause of death.

They walked up a small hill where under a tree sat two graves side by side. As they got closer Lilith was able to make out the names on the two graves.

But her eyes hyperfocused on the bigger grave.

Edalyn Clawthorne.

1976-2020

Petrification/Spell Accident

She felt her heart clench as they reached the two graves and Willow finally let go of Lilith’s elbow. She practically dived towards the grave and wrapped her arms tightly around it, sobbing into it as if it was her sisters own chest.

Luz’s eyes watered as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. Willow sitting next to Lilith, rubbing her back in a comforting manner. Gus, about a foot behind the two witches, sitting down in prayer... Weird for an atheist but go Gus-

And then there was Luz and Amity, who had stayed the farthest away in their own solitude.

Luz felt her eyes water and tears slowly begin to crawl down her face. Amity, noticing this, leaned her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder, Luz reciprocating the comfort with an arm around Amity’s waist.

And Lilith sobbed.

And all they did was stare.

***

It was two weeks later when Amity had gone up to Eda’s Lilith’s room to check on her. She hadn’t come down to breakfast that morning, or lunch. Another thing that was different about Lilith, she never missed meals before...

Amity found her fast asleep in the nest, but when she tried to wake the elder witch up..-

She couldn’t.

***

Lilith was dead.

The doctors had pronounced Lilith had died of a deteriorated mental state. Weird, because days earlier they said with therapy she could live a happy life.

But as Luz stood there, in front of Lilith’s grave, who had been placed on the other side of Eda’s she knew-

Lilith had died of a broken heart.

()()()

After months of procrastinating woohoo I decided to finish this angsty piece of pain! I think I’m going to make 5 mini stories about the 5 weeks Lilith had left to live, and add some stuff that didn’t really fit in here! Well, thanks for reading, I really hope you guys liked it!

And that your hearts were ripped out-

Also this idea was actually by @fallenflowersfromgrace but I made it 10 times worse!!! :333 <333 :)))

I hope I killed you sister :333

~Zarie

[thedreammweaver]

Ladies and Gentlemen, We’re Floating In Space Chapter 1 (Burton-schumacherverse riddlebird, the Truman Show AU, Ace!Ed)

Chapter 2

Warnings: unreality, manipulation, gaslighting, struggles with sexuality, some internalized homophobia/acephobia, cannibalism mention

“Though his environment may be controlled there is nothing fake about Edward.” Max said into the camera “No cue cards, no scripts. It isn’t always Shakespeare but it’s genuine..it’s a life. I created The True Man Show because people don’t need actors with phony emotions reading off a page, they need something real and Edward Nygma is 100% real.”

Ed stared into his bathroom mirror as he continued with his daydreaming “We’re not gonna make it..” he said shakily before switching to another voice “Don’t you say that! There may be a blizzard and killer penguins outside but we’re gonna get out of here and get back to civilization.”

“You have to promise me that if I die out there you’ll eat me before the penguins do.”

“Ew, gross.”

“It’s not gross, it’s survival! Eat me, that’s an order!”

“Fine, but I’ll only eat your love handles.”

“I have love handles??”

“Yeah, small ones-“

“Ed, you’re gonna be late!” Selina called.

He huffed “I know!” He sighed “Guess these guys are gonna have to cannibalize eachother later.”

“Good morning, Ed.” Ed stopped as he heard the greeting from across the street “Good morning,” he waved “Oh, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.” He said, quite charmingly, as he continued to his car. Before he could get in he was greeted by another neighbour and his dog who was jumping up at Ed. “Hi, buddy.” Ed came down to the dog’s level, taking a worn tennis ball out of his pocket and letting the dog take it “You lost this over my fence last night, huh?” He pet the dog before it ran off to catch up with it’s master. Ed opened the door to his car only to be startled by a crash behind him. Something had fallen and broken but from where? He looked up at the empty sky as he walked over, to inspect the object that looked like some sort of light “Weird.”

“This just in,” the radio in Ed’s car announced “A satellite positioned over Gotham apparently began shedding parts this morning.”

“So that’s what it was...” Ed hummed.

“Luckily no one was hurt. Anyways, is anyone out there traveling by boat or plane anytime soon?”

“Nope!” Ed frankly shivered at the thought.

“Well, that’s nice. Moving on from the horrifying perils of traveling-“ Ed wasn’t paying attention anymore as the voice droned on for a bit and then the station started playing classical music.

Before going into work Ed stopped at a little kiosk in the square for something specific. He grabbed a newspaper and then, with a little too much nervousness, reached for a fashion magazine “For the wife.” he shrugged.

 Ed, feeling very bored at his desk, sneakily reached for the fashion magazine. He flipped through it, stopping when he found a picture of a woman with the same shade of hair as him. He kept flipping until he landed on another page with a green dress. He coughed obnoxiously to cover the sound of him ripping out the pictures and he stuffed the pieces that interested him in his pocket.

   Ed was very excited the get out of work, as always, he’d practically sprinted to his car. He’d speedily driven to the place he went to nearly everyday after work, the aquarium. As he walked through the building he shielded his eyes from one of the exhibits when he passed, it had a sunken ship in it as decor which Ed couldn’t stand to look at. He sighed as he finally got to where wanted to be, the penguin exhibit. He sat on a bench in front of the penguins then took out a sketch book and pencil from his briefcase and he waited.

Max brought a walkie talkie up to his mouth “Let him watch the penguins for a bit and then send Oswald out.” He instructed. “Why do you keep that thing on the show, he was only supposed to be a one time sight gag for the aquarium date episode.” Max’s son, Chip, asked coming up behind him to watch the cameras too. “I know.” Max muttered “But Ed actually likes Oswald. He doesn’t get along with a lot of people that way. Viewers were getting bored of Harvey being Ed’s only friend anyways, we were going to hire another friend, remember?” Max smirked “Plus this whole arc of Ed being kind to the fat freak has been good for us. Guilts viewers into being better people, inspires little ones to look past differences, ratings go up.”

Ed pretended to have been drawing as he watched Oswald waddle out of a side door, bucket in hand, to feed the penguins. Ed acted like he only just noticed Oswald  and he waved. Oswald waved back “Howdy, Ed. You’re here to draw the penguins again?”

Ed flushed “Yes- yeah. I am.” He fumbled fumbled, looking down at the half finished portrait of Oswald in his lap.

“Well, I hope you manage to find some of their good angles while they’re eating.” Oswald chuckled.

“They’re all good angles..” Ed whispered, carefully adding wrinkles to the corner of one of Oswald’s eyes.

   Ed felt bummed to be getting home though he wouldn’t admit it. He wanted to pull away when Selina came over to kiss him on the cheek “How was work?”

He grumbled an answer as he set his stuff down.

“What’s wrong?” Selina asked.

“I want to go to Antarctica.”

“Ed, not this again. I thought we were going to try for a baby.”

“I’m not ready for that yet...”

“You’ve been saying that since our wedding night..”

“I want to go to Antarctica to see the penguins.” Ed said, changing the subject.

Selina rolled her eyes “There’s penguins in Gotham.”

“But I’ve memorized those!” Ed was exasperated.

Selina came over to him, hugging him and running her hand down his chest “Ed, please, let’s just go to bed.” She purred.

“You never listen to me..” Ed sighed, gently pushing Selina and her wandering hands away.

    Ed felt shitty as he sat on the beach looking out at the ocean. His mind flashed back to the day his father died, that day in the boat together where only Ed survived. He wished he hadn’t asked his dad if they could stay for a little longer. He was startled from his thoughts as rain started pouring down on him. When he got up to leave after a few steps the rain was no longer over him. He looked back to find that it was in one single column then slowly it moved back over him. He ran a bit to the left and the rain followed him. After a few more seconds it started to rain normally. Ed was weirded out but too soaked to think too much about anything but getting someplace where he could dry off.

    Ed had retreated to his lab in the basement instead of to bed with Selina. He opened a large chest down there and he took out the scraps of paper he’d torn from the magazine. In the top of the chest was a cutout of the statue of David with other cutouts on it of hair the same colour as Ed’s but styled and a green dress. He cutout the new hair and dress and replaced the old ones, putting those scraps into a collage forming around the statue from how many times Ed switched around the mock-up of himself. He stared at it for a moment before looking at the other side of the chest lid. It was covered in drawings of Oswald, he stuck the new one there. He was about to close the chest when he noticed something in it, two toys almost cuddled together in the bottom. It was a toy of a scarecrow and the mad hatter from Lewis Caroll’s work. “Oh boys, don’t you know that’s sinful?” Ed asked, picking the toys up “Alright, I’ll let it slide but remember you’re not really in love unless you want to take eachother’s clothes off.” He said a bit spitefully, wrapping the toys’ arms around eachother further and placing them back in the chest before closing it. He really didn’t want to sleep with Selina that night so he just slept on the bed down there, dreaming about Oswald and penguins and Antarctica.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Hurts So Bad... (Part 3)

-

The Week That Flashed By (Part 1/3)

Masterlist

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: For the first time, Peter Parker meets someone he has no idea how to save...

Warning: angst(obviously), mentions of suicide, depression, self-harm, drug use, me just exposing myself

A/N- if you only see Flash as a villain at all times then these chapters ain't for you. Not a lot of Peter this chapter but it's integral to the story so don't skip lol

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe he was hoping it'd go away.

Maybe he was wishing for the best.

Maybe he was just disregarding and ignoring you completely.

But for whatever reason, it took Peter a week to finally act. A week.

In the grand scheme of life, a week is incredibly short. However, circumstances can always change the way you perceive things.

When you have an essay due, a week seems to fly by. But when you're waiting for the new episode of your favorite tv to come, a week seems to just drag on.

The normal, busy people don't realize is that when you don't have anything to do, and when you're so far gone into the abyss, a week can genuinely seem like forever.

And your week had been nothing short of endless.

You might've finally been done with the physical low, but the mental low was practically just as bad. You could exert energy without feeling like you'd drop if a feather were to touch your shoulder, but your brain was tired.

On the upside, no one bothered you.

On the downside, no one bothered you.

You hated the silence, but strangely that's what followed you everywhere you went. Deafening silence.

You wanted so much for someone to just talk to you. Talk with you. Even if they were lying. Doesn't matter. You just wanted someone to speak. To have some type of change in your life that forced you out of the mundane, redundant, silent cycle you lived in.

Flash Thomspon was your lab partner.

You'd seen him around. He was hard to miss. Always with his jokes and his livestreams. Forever with a smile on his face. Just like Cecilia.

You remember asking her once why they weren't friends. She'd called him obnoxious.

You wouldn't call him obnoxious though, just... loud.

That Monday when lab partners were chosen, you were completely out of it.

Staring at nothing, not making a sound, setting your head down on the table, obviously not wanting to be bothered by anyone.

So when Flash got to your table, he hadn't bothered you. He walked over, simply looked at you for a bit, and once it was clear you weren't moving any time soon, he started on his notes alone.

Which you respected. That meant he was at the very least a bit sensible, if not just lazy.

The next day wasn't much different. You still weren't up for doing anything and Flash still wasn't up to bothering you.

The day after though, Wednesday, that was the day everything changed.

"Hello?," you said into your phone.

"Hey, is this [Y/N]? That quiet chick in a.p chem?"

You chuckled at the beyond simplistic description of yourself. "Uh, yeah this is she. Who's this?"

"Flash Thompson," he responded. "Coolest guy in the class."

You rolled your eyes. "Mhm, and why are you calling my phone?"

"Well-" you heard a bottle open "-we kinda have a project that's due at the end of the week. And, believe me, as much as I love doing duo projects on my own, you need to do something."

His upfrontness took you aback, but not particularly in a bad way.

And besides, you were getting sick of moping. Your curiosity wanted to see where this was going to go.

"Um, okay. So we'll crack down tomorrow then."

"How about now?" You could practically hear the smirk on his face.

"No," you quickly responded. "You mean come to your house right? Hell no."

"Why not?," he snickered. "Strict parents? Or is the pole really just that far up your ass?"

You rolled your eyes once again. You really didn't have the patience for this. "Okay I'm hanging up-"

"Wait! I'll text you my-" Click.

You stared at the wall for a good minute in complete irritation after that phone call. You had to have lost at least a hundred brain cells during that small conversation. The last thing you needed on your plate right now was some guy giving you shit.

A notification on your phone caught your attention.

3069 Oak Street

"Oh so you text me your address and now I'm just supposed to show up at your door?," you scoffed.

-

In retrospect, ringing that doorbell was probably the smartest dumb thing you ever did.

When you told your parents you were going to a friend's house, they just paused and then smiled. Your parents had no problem at all with you going out. They hadn't even asked questions. Heck they encouraged you to go out. That meant you were trying.

But fuck them. You were trying everyday. Trying not to just take the kitchen knife and slit your wrists after every dinner.

When the door to Flash's house opened you immediately noticed three things.

1) The alleged butler he'd been rumored around school to have was nowhere to be found.

2) This was an extremely nice house. Maybe even nicer than Cecilia's.

3) And Flash's eyes were red.

"Yo!," he greeted with an obnoxious grin. "Wassup?"

"We literally just stopped talking like ten mintues ago dude," you responded as you stepped into the house. "And what's with the shirt?"

This idiot actually had a Spider-Man t-shirt on.

"Excuse me? This is drip in the finest form," he defended, hopping onto his couch. "So anyway, the project or whatever. What're we gonna do for it?"

You sighed. "Well, unless I was actually invisible for all the class periods, it's obvious I wasn't paying much attention the last couple of days."

"Yeah I guess," he chuckled. "What was all that about anyway?," he asked, to which you simply shrugged. He squinted at you, but then rolled his eyes and then picked up the remote for the tv. "Oh well, you're better now, right?"

You winced, but you were glad Flash still wasn't looking your way. "Sure."

"Wanna take off your jacket? You're not outside anymore y'know."

And that's where the problem started.

You didn't know why, but you could look over knowing you were depressed. You'd easily come to terms with it. But it was the small things in normal conversations that hit you harder than anything else. Small little suggestions that you couldn't hide it all from everyone. Hell, you couldn't even take off a damn jacket like everyone else.

"I'm fine," you answered. "So... um, about that project?"

"Yeah," he said leaning forward. "You got the instruction papers or whatever?"

You gave him a look, confused. "I never picked them up. I thought you had the papers."

"I don't fucking pay attention in that boring ass class."

"So what was the purpose of me even coming here if we can't even do anything?," you snapped.

He just shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged again.

Your jaw clenched. Cecilia was right. "Obnoxious dumbass..."

You turned to walk back out of the front door before turning back around. "Hey Flash?"

He looked at you and grunted in acknowledgment.

"Were you just crying before I came in or are you just high?"

"High," he said rather quickly. "Why? Are my eyes red?"

You nodded. "Yeah."

"Fuck," he mumbled. "Want some?"

"Nah I'm good-" But he was already gone down the long hallway of his home. "Flash?"

You stood there, waiting for about five minutes before deciding that he wasn't coming back. Great.

So now you could either go get him, leave, or just continue standing there awkwardly.

And due to your lack of better judgment, you did the most classic horror movie move and walked further into a house that you weren't familiar with to go look for a guy you barely knew. If I die, I die, you thought with a shrug.

Walking into the long hallway the first thing you noticed was the abundance of doors. You weren't a stalker, so you didn't bother to look into any, but you could've swore you saw a room full of spiderman pictures and newspapers through the crack of one of them. Fucking weird.

In an attempt not to succumb to your curiosity, you walked faster down the hall. You stopped in your tracks when you heard sniffles. Whimpering? Whatever noises someone makes when they're crying. Someone was crying, that's for sure. And you were also pretty sure Flash was the only one in the house.

'Walk away [Y/N]. This isn't your business.'

But of course you walked closer, and the sniffles got louder. Until you found yourself opening the door and coming face to face with a crying Flash on the floor in the middle of some gaming room.

"Shit!," he yelled, turning away and attempting to cover up his crying with obnoxiously fake coughing.

"Are you okay?," you asked.

"I'm high," he kept repeating in mumbles, desperately reaching for something. "I'm just high, okay? Fuck."

You watched as he continued to search for whatever he was making it seem like he looking for. You wanted to reach out and maybe say something, anything that would make him feel better. But you knew that probably wouldn't help.

After all, it never helped you.

"I'm just... really fucking high right now, alright?"

He seemed incredibly off, even with the squirrelly, rude way he was being earlier. Like he was just trying too hard at something.

You were at a loss for words. You knew it was wrong, but the only thing you could think of was, hm. Rich boy's actually got some issues.

When he finally turned around, his face was dry and he carried a bong in his hands, lighting it and practically shoving it into his mouth in a weak attempt to cover up his unsteady breathing.

"Thought you left," he said, staring at the floor.

Realizing you'd been standing at the doorframe awkwardly, you moved to sit on the floor, opposite to him. "Well, you kinda offered me some weed and then left, I think."

"I thought I heard you say no though."

"I did..." you gulped. "But..I still stayed though."

And now you sat here with Flash and his bong.

He sat back on the side of the chair, his back leaning against it as he blew out the smoke. "Wanna try?," he offered, holding the small object up to you. He didn't wait for you to respond before setting it up again for you and passing it.

Without a word, you took it and breathed the smoke in. You sucked it up and felt it fill your lungs before leaning back and blowing it out, letting out a small cough afterwards. "Thanks."

"Fuck, you're a pro," Flash chuckled.

You shook your head and shrugged. "No. Common sense just tells you how it works, I guess."

"I feel that."

You hummed in amusement.

And then suddenly it was quiet again.

You fucking hated silence.

Luckily, Flash was a talker. Or so you thought.

At school there wasn't a dull moment if he was there. But now, seeing him in his home, he was quiet as a mouse. Contemplative. Searching.

"Say something," you said, earning a confused look from the boy in front of you.

He squinted. "Say what? I don't even know you."

You rolled yours eyes, shrugging. "Look, whatever was going on before I came in here, it's not my business, man. I only said to fucking speak."

Flash groaned. "About what?"

"I dunno," you answered. "I just don't like the quiet. Say anything you want. Just... talk."

"Um.." he looked up at the ceiling. "I got some new shoes the other day." He pointed at the Jordan's on his feet. "My mother got it shipped in from where she's out on business in Bora Bora."

Something about the way he said it made you sure that she wasn't out "on business".

"My butler is out today cuz it's his niece's birthday. She'd be cute enough, if her nose wasn't so big. It's like the wicked witch of the west."

You scrunched up your nose, imagining a younger version of wicked witch minus the green skin.

"Umm, I dunno uh, chocolate chip cookies are better than sugar cookies?"

You snorted at that. Now he was just thinking of anything.

"And uhh, I'm having spaghetti tonight.. and- well I don't know what you really want dude I'm just kinda.. life is just too boring to always have something to say for every second of every day, [Y/N]!," he suddenly snapped.

"Woah dude, chill." You blew out another round of smoke and handed Flash the bong. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was asking for too much."

He held his hand over his forehead. "Nah you're fine," sighed. "It's just- you ask that cuz I talk alot at school right? Yeah that makes sense I guess. I-I'm sorry," he rushed out before going back to the small contraption.

You'd been snapped at alot in your life. Way too many to count. But from those experiences you gathered a small truth; if someone has snapped at you over the smallest thing, they probably have something else going on. Or most likely a couple of things, piled up and ready to blow.

And you could smell that on Flash from a mile away.

"Flash, what's your real name?"

He paused, lifting his mouth from the bong. "Flash is my real name," he lied before passing it back over to you.

"No it's not," you stated, picking up another bag and the lighter up beside you for the bong, no longer satisfied with the loss of flavor. "I don't pay that much attention but I know for a fact that's not your name."

He rolled his eyes, quickly becoming frustrated with the conversation. "Eugene."

"Nice," you said, contemplating your next move. "So.. what does Eugene feel right now? Not Flash, but Eugene."

He reached over each practically snatched the bong away from you.

"Eugene is feeling annoyed, and frankly aggravated because some girl he barely knows is asking too much of him."

"Hey I'm only asking for what you'll give me," you said, throwing your hands in your defense.

"Well what about you?," he accused. "You're always down in the dumps, staring at the wall, looking all depressed 24/7 so how about you start talking? I mean, are you fucking okay?"

"No," you answered blandly. "Not in the slightest. Your turn. What does Eugene feel, Flash? Is Eugene, quote, 'fucking okay'?"

Flash scoffed. "What're you trying to say, that I'm depressed?"

"I never said that."

"Oh fuck that, you implied it!"

"I didn't-"

"You don't fucking know me, [Y/N]," he spat out, throwing the bong on the floor, watching as you picked it up before the water spilt. "You don't fucking know what I'm going through everyday, so please don't be like everyone else and tell me what I am, okay?!"

Were you being rude prying into his life? Totally.

Had you reached the level of nonchalantness with your and practically anybody else's wellbeing that you really couldn't possibly bring yourself to care? Yes.

And was Flash finally cracking? Completely.

"Flash is fake. And obnoxious. And rude," you deadpanned. "I wanna meet Eugene. See how he's doing."

Flash scoffed, looking for a comeback. You could see the expressions on his face flickering like random. Annoyance. Sadness. Want.

You were no psychologist but anyone with a brain could see what he was going through.

The two of you sat in silence again. But you didn't really mind it this time. You were waiting. Even without actually speaking, Flash was telling you everything about him.

Takes one to know one.

"Eugene's aggravated," he finally said, his eyes becoming watery. "Eugene's fucking angry all the time because people only seem to want Flash." He gave you a bitter smirk before averting his eyes to the ground. But you let him. If that's what was easiest for him, then whatever.

"And people assume things about Eugene all the damn time so eventually he decided -what the hell- he'll just give em what they want. And Eugene's fucking pissed because he knows for a fact that if he were to just disappear, no one would fucking care. His old man would just put him in the ground and everyone would be back to normal before fucking dinner." His breath was heavy and you could see mocha skin begin to turn a dark red. "And most of all he's pissed because he's been able to hide for so long and some girl just strolls in and figures him out."

And now here you were just there with Eugene and his bong.

You'd lost count of how much you'd smoked, and you knew he did too. But it didn't matter.

Nothing did anymore.

Not the pressure from your parents. Not the endless cycle of running through all the motions without actually taking anything in. Not even the stupid project that was worth half your grade that'd brought the two of you together in the first place.

Life was full of nothing just in millions of various forms.

Things dressed up and decorated to seem all fancy and important but in the grand scheme of things were just was worthless as you were.

You looked at Flash's home and all you saw was fancy nothing. Wealthy nothing. And you looked at his clothes and all you could possibly see was nothing.

And looking at Flash, you saw a nothing that was attempting to cover up something.

But looking at Eugene, you saw something.

Sadness. Neglect. Pain.

He was completely naked to you.

"You should probably stop," he mumbled, finally opening his eyes and sitting up a bit. "You're looking at me all weird." He reached for the bong, laying it aside once he grabbed it.

"Is that a bad thing?," you asked.

"No," he responded with a small shrug. "...just scares me is all."

You smirked. The only resemblance of a smile you'd been able to make in a long while. "And how do I, of all people, scare you, Eugene?"

You could see his jaw clench. Could see him debating with himself. Even relaxed from the weed, his eyes still darted around the room, and he was shaking his head the tiniest bit. Finally he looked back at you.

"Because -fucking somehow.. you see me-" a tear rolled down his face. "You actually see me. Not Flash... You see Eugene."

His mother's words rang through his ears like a cautionary tale. Real men don't cry. Don't be weak, like your father...

But he wanted to be. So badly he wanted, just for one moment, to be weak and to be able to fall into someone's arms and not act like he was always okay on his own. To not act like he didn't desperately yearn for someone's compassion. Someone's trust.

Flash was fun. Flash was the cool, funny side character in everyone's story. Flash was the picture perfect of everything he wanted to be.

"-And Eugene's a mess," he let out in a small, quiet sob, his expression not moving, though the tears streamed down his face. "I'm just high... that's why I'm saying all this crap. I'm just being dumb and high. Forget all this. I never said anything okay?"

You wouldn't see him break. Not some girl he just met...

Regardless of how he already felt about you.

He slowly looked back up at your face, fully expecting to see pity or disgust. Instead, your face remained neutral like his, and you were crying too.

"I don't think you're a mess Eugene." You sat up straighter, moved a little closer. "Just hurt."

He gave a bitter chuckle. "Isn't basically everybody?"

You shook your head slightly. "No...at least I don't think so. Everyone goes through something- and then there are those people that, in some sick way, want to be hurting.. but with people like us.." You found yourself grabbing his hand, not even thinking for what reason. You just did. "With us.. it's real. And not some temporary problem," you whispered. "It won't ever stop."

Eugene looked back at you again and it was over for him. He felt small. He felt naked. He felt fucking pure.

And then it happened.

You went in for a hug and he went in for a kiss.

But he made it first... and you didn't push him away.

Feeling his lips on yours.. wasn't bad. It surprised you at first, but ultimately it was pleasant.

He sighed against your lips and you could taste the smoke in between the two of you. You hadn't had much experience with guys before. Practically nonexistent if you were being honest, but that didn't matter. Eugene pressed his kiss firmer on yours, and you began to reciprocate his movements.

He held the side of your head lightly as he pulled away, his face growing further apart from yours the slightest bit. He rubbed his nose against yours. You both closing your eyes.

"Stay here with me," he pleaded softly, his breathing slightly erratic. "I-i won't try anything, I swear. I just..." He sniffed and used his shoulder to wipe away at some of the tears on his cheek. "You really see me. A-and I see you, y'know? And we're just-"

You nodded, taking your hand to run through his hair. "Okay," you whispered. "I'll stay."

A small smile started to break through his tears. "Thank you," he mumbled against your cheek before planting a soft kiss onto it.

Your mind was blank. You couldn't think of more than one thing at a time. But you knew one thing; you wanted to be there. That much you were sure of. You still weren't happy. You weren't safe. Just content with this idea of change.

For once, you weren't overly sure of what you were doing. It wasn't routine.

For once, you felt like something was different.

----------Back on the other side of town-----------

You weren't home.

Peter had finished his patrol, swung to your apartment, and you were nowhere to be found.

"No. N-no please don't do this," he pleaded to himself. "Be in the bathroom. Please just be somewhere. Come on, get in here."

He'd already looked through every window available and he could only hope you were in some inside room. Your bed was completely untouched.

"I should've reached out to you. Fuck! I should've done something. Just please be alive..."

He waited anxiously to see if you'd show, even sending a drone to Cecilia's address to see if you were there in the meantime. "I-I'm so sorry I- just please! Be at a friend's house! Something!"

He didn't even realize how much he was shaking. How much your life was in his hands. If you were dead, he'd never forgive himself.

"She's not at the Gulliver residence, Peter. Are there any other places you'd like for me to check?," E.D.I.T.H asked.

"She's somewhere!," he yelled out. "It's one in the morning on a school night. Find her! Please...."

He looked back toward the window. After while he didn't even know how much time had passed. He was just staring. Waiting for you to walk through that door. And when you never came he could only hope that you'd be at school.

"I'll help you," he whimpered. "Just..please. Please just stay alive long enough for me to try."

---------------------------------------

Lmao don't worry y/n won't end up with Flash and this certainly won't end up being a love triangle

Taglist - @eridanuswave, @imahardcase, @jules-and-gemss, @yetchann, @captainamericasdaughter, @starlight-starks, @everydaymj, @rubberducky-jrr, @chiaramrvl, @dreamofaprilsblog, @hello--zuko-here, @spidey-mads, @cuddlefishpeter

[snezfics-n-shit]

Whumptober Day 11: Thermometer

Fandom: Ace Attorney 

Characters: Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, Trucy Wright

Notes: More married!Wrightworth coming up! Happy birthday to Phoenix Wright. Phoenix and Miles just had a romantic night out. Something doesn’t seem quite right. Sick!Miles is a good birthday gift, right? Lots of family fluff in here. 

     Dinner was to die for. Miles always had exquisite taste in fine dining and spared no expense when eating out, but he truly went above and beyond for Phoenix’s birthday dinner. Phoenix found it puzzling when his husband ordered hardly anything for himself, but Miles insisted it was because it was Phoenix’s day and he was the one to be spoiled. Then there was the moon viewing at the park, a lovely sight the two shared every year provided the weather was good. Occasionally, Miles cleared his throat, distracting Phoenix, and each time he gave the same instruction to just enjoy the night sky. 

“Thank you so much for tonight, Miles.” Phoenix was stopped when he attempted to open the front door. Miles was not about to let the most important man of the day open the door. “Aw, you’re a real gentleman today, aren’t you?”

“I try to be one everyday.” Miles smiled as he took off his husband’s coat and hung it up on the coat tree by the door, following with his own coat. He checked his watch; it was only a quarter after nine, but his fatigue felt like it was well past midnight. Just another part of aging, he supposed. He cleared his throat and made a small frown at the soreness that caused.

“Do you need something?” Phoenix assumed Miles was just trying to get his attention. “Oh, right. Trucy said she had something planned for when we got home, didn’t she?” 

“I don’t know. I’m thinking about us maybe turning in for-”

“Did you have a nice birthday dinner, Daddy?” Trucy peeked out from her bedroom, unaware she had just interrupted her stepfather. “Papa asked me to help pick out the restaurant, but I’ve never been to any of the ones on his list, so I had to make a guess.” She grinned before finally joining her dads in the living area.

“It was wonderful.” Phoenix nodded before he decided to show his thanks with a kiss on Miles’s forehead. “Hmm…” His smile faded.

“What’s wrong? Do you think you ate too much?” Miles’s confusion seemed to make Phoenix look more concerned.

“You have a fever.”

“Not this again.” Miles sighed. “You can’t tell if someone has a fever by simply kissing their forehead.”

“Um, yes I can.” Phoenix looked just about as confident as he did when he had a witness cornered in the courtroom. “You can ask my mom.”

“I’m not going to ask your mother anything, especially not about this nonsense.” Miles objected. “I would hardly consider a testimony from her as evidence, anyway.”

“Does Papa want us to grab the Math Test Detector?” Trucy asked, holding her hand to her chin.

“The what?” Miles raised a brow.

“It’s been a long time since we called it that, huh?” Phoenix chuckled.

“The what?” Miles repeated himself.

“Oh, it’s just what we used to call a thermometer.” Phoenix answered as if everyone called it that and Miles was simply out of the loop.

“May I ask why?”

“Because someone was smart enough to cheat the kiss test so she’d miss a big math test on more than one occasion.” Phoenix glanced at Trucy, who responded with a playful raspberry.

“That’s exactly why your ‘test’ doesn’t work.” Miles’s voice cracked from the strain on his already sore throat.

“It works, especially when you’re not a high schooler who didn’t study for an algebra exam.” 

At that moment, Miles was hit with a tidal wave of malaise. The mild symptoms that brought him some discomfort earlier in the day had somehow escalated greatly at a speed he never thought possible. The surprise at this development alone was enough to have him oblivious to the fact Trucy had already gone and retrieved the thermometer from the bathroom medicine cabinet during the time Miles spent trying to do the math for just how long he had been under the weather. 

“Papa, Daddy can’t take your temperature with your mouth closed.” Trucy scolded him lightly before he finally complied and allowed Phoenix to take his temperature. “That’s better.”

“Keep it under your tongue, now. Can’t have it just wiggling around in your mouth.” Phoenix instructed as he gently brushed Miles’s cheek with his hand, concerned about the heat he was radiating. He kissed his husband’s forehead again. Sure enough, Miles was even warmer than just a minute ago. 

*beep* *beep*

Miles wasn’t even interested in insisting he felt fine at this point. Had this happened before he felt so awful, sure, he might have fought off his family’s concern, but right now he just really wanted to go to bed.

“102.4.” Phoenix recited, sounding disappointed with the number despite already making a similar estimate. “You got your ‘real’ thermometer, now. Are you ready to get some rest?” He looked up at Trucy with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Trucy. I’m gonna take Papa to bed. Do you think we can postpone your surprise until tomorrow?”

“That’s fine.” Trucy nodded. “Feel better soon, Papa!” She wished him well as she watched her fathers make their way to the master bedroom. With the rest of the night open, she opted to watch TV with the volume on low so she wouldn’t disturb Miles.

“So how long have you been feeling sick, babe?” Phoenix tucked Miles in on his side of the bed with a sympathetic sigh through his nose.

“My throat has been hurting since this afternoon, but I only just started feeling genuinely unwell after we got home.” Miles entered an extended coughing fit, hurting his chest before he was done. “It came on pretty fast.”

“I can see that. You were a little pale this evening, but now,” Phoenix brushed a few hairs off his husband’s forehead, “you look like you’re at death’s door.”

“I feel like he’s already greeted me and invited me in for tea.” Miles laughed weakly, cut off by a quick inhale. “Hhh’ssSSHHooh!” He sniffled. “That’s him telling me tea’s ready.”

“You really are sick, joking around like that.” Phoenix teased. “How about I make you some tea for real?”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.”

“The usual honey and lemon?” Phoenix stood up to make his way to the kitchen.

“Yes, please.” Miles nodded, but his appreciative smile faded. “I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for feeling sick.” Phoenix stopped in his tracks, turning around to face his husband.

“No. You shouldn’t be on your feet making me tea. I should be doing something for you. It’s your birthday.”

“And you have a fever.” Phoenix added. “It cancels out.”

“I don’t think it works that way.” Miles startled Phoenix with another intense fit of coughing. “You need to,” nope, he wasn’t done coughing just yet, “promise me I can spoil you twice as much when I’ve recovered.” He needed to catch his breath. 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Phoenix faced the door again, occasionally looking back to see if Miles was going to start coughing again. “Just work on getting better.”

As Miles watched his husband leave the room, he let himself sigh in mild disappointment. The one thing that could possibly make being ill worth suffering through was the assumption Phoenix would find him incredibly attractive in this condition. Curse the man for being so considerate. He watched the room begin to swerve, resigning himself to what he hypothesized would be at least a week in bed before he could finally give Phoenix the birthday doting he deserved. 

‘At least he said I’m hot in a literal sense.’

[sgtrolandhills]

When I Look Into Your Candy Corn Eyes || Erin & Roland

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @corpse--diem & @sgtrolandhills SUMMARY: Erin brings lunch by the station for Sarge after learning he eats mostly Lean Cuisines. 

“Hi!” Erin chirped, greeting the young police officer at reception with the biggest smile she had to offer. Tried not to think about how it had taken a full ten minutes to muster the nerves to step foot into the station. Tried not to picture the very dead Dale she slid into the incinerator just last week. Would he be considered missing? No, no. Marley had taken care of that. Still, her eyes flashed to the bulletin board when she walked in. No familiar bald-headed fucks to be found. This was okay. Probably. She toned down the smile when the officer merely glanced up at her from their paperwork. “My name’s Erin Nichols—I’m just popping by to see Roland—Sergeant Roland. Sarge.” She swallowed. Smiled brightly once more, lifting the Tupperware container in her hands. “I brought him lunch. He’s not expecting me or anything but I thought it’d be nice to surprise him. He’s been eating a ton of Lean Cuisines lately, which are so bad for you, and—“ And this rookie stuck greeting the general public couldn’t have cared less. Erin stopped, nodded. Understandable. “Right. Is… uh, is he in?”

Lately, work had seemed to make Roland’s head spin more than it calmed him. This wasn’t a feeling he knew how to navigate. Burying himself in his work had always been his coping mechanism and something he’d genuinely enjoyed, but now, it just seemed to bring him more anguish than anything else. He’d always been so good at this and now here he was scrambling, letting another lead go cold. The mimes had come and gone with no real indication of why or who brought them here. The eyes seemed to be doing the same and it left him even more obsessed with the data in front of him. There had to be something he was missing. Another connection that he wasn’t quite making that would tie this all together and point him in the right direction. As he looked over all the different missing persons cases related to the eyes that had turned up in town, he let out a frustrated groan that was interrupted by his phone. “Sarge, you got a visitor at the front desk-- Erin Nichols?” His head tilted, a bit surprised. He remembered she offered to bring him lunch one of these days though he hadn’t actually expected her to follow through on that. He couldn’t fathom why she’d want to anyhow-- She couldn’t possibly be interested in him. She was leagues out of his league, but he could hardly turn her away. “Yeah, send her back.” He cleared his desk, to make the office a bit more tidy and stood to wait by the door. He waved as he saw her approaching. “Hey, Erin,” he extended his hand to shake hers, “It’s good to meet you in person. You really didn’t have to bring lunch. Does smell better than the Lean Cuisines though.”

Those initial nerves when Erin stepped into the building trickled back up her spine as she followed the officer past the cluster of desks, where more police officers were busy working. White Crest was a small town but there were more than she expected, though that made sense the more she thought about it. They were famous for few things, and one of those was their alarmingly high death rate. There was a reason the funeral home had one of the biggest fridges in all of Maine. When she finally saw Roland though, it was easy to brush those nerves off and return a warm smile. “Nice to meet you too, Roland,” she answered sincerely, shaking his hand with the one not holding the tupperware and utensils. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, waving him off. “Are you kidding? There’s literally no way I could sit around and let you keep putting that stuff into your body. And now you’ll have no excuse to ever touch that filth again.” She smiled wider at him, glancing past him and into his office, then back again. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

Roland reasoned with himself that perhaps taking an honest to god lunch break would do him some good. The more he stared over all the details of each seemingly insane case in front of him, the more it all bled together until he simply couldn’t make sense of it. Maybe a true rest from it would allow him to return to work with some clarity. At least he could hope for as much. Plus, Erin had come out of her way to bring him a nice meal which admittedly sounded much better than a Lean Cuisine Macaroni and Cheese. He realized that sounded sad and probably because it was. Everything had him feeling a bit down lately. He spent so much of his time dedicated to the job and he still couldn’t quite seem to get a grip on all his cases. “You know, I’d normally object to being someone’s charity case, but that smells way better than a Lean Cuisine. I might have to give that Hello Fresh thing a try,” he said jokingly as he reached out to take the tupperware container from her. At the mention of a bad time, he shook his head and responded, “Not at all. I think a break would do me well if you’d like to join. We’ve got a break room up the hall recently equipped with a new Keurig if you’d like a coffee after lunch.”

“Roland you are not a charity case,” Erin said with a roll of her eyes. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” She raised her brow, staring pointedly, but was relieved all the same when he took the tupperware container from her hands. “Trust me, it’s delicious,” she smirked, pulling out the two forks and plastic plates she had also brought with her. “I may or may not have tried a bite or three on the way here.” Helping herself to a seat, her grin grew brighter and she couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped from her at the mention of the Keurig coffee. “Oh wow, you sure know how to impress a lady, don’t you?” she teased, setting the plate and utensil out for them both. Her eyes were focused on Roland, but she couldn’t help but keep an ear out for the hustle and bustle of everyday life at the police station. The usual buzzwords filled her ears but nothing concrete she could latch onto just yet. “I wouldn’t call myself a chef, and the food came with pretty explicit instructions, so hopefully you think it’s as good as I do too.” She shot another smile his way. “Good enough to convince you to take some time out of your day to actually cook yourself something once in a while?”

He wasn’t a charity case. It was a relief to hear, but still left Roland feeling a little out of his element. Ever since the divorce, he found he was really off his game. “Well, I’m glad,” he responded with a sheepish grin, “It’s nice to have some real food and company.” It seemed a little surreal to him that there was a beautiful woman seemingly flirting with him and bringing him a nice lunch. The breakroom at WCPD wasn’t impressive by any means, but he hoped the new cushions he got for the chairs were comfortable enough. With an unsure chuckle, he responded, “I can hardly blame you. Smells so good, not sure I’d have been able to wait either.” He settled down in the seat across from her and opened up the tupperware container. Keurigs weren’t how he’d normally try to woo a woman, not that he’d done much wooing, but women liked coffee, right? He gave her an earnest grin. “Is coffee and chocolate not how you make women happy these days? I’m a bit out of practice.” Making light of his current lack of romantic skills seemed to ease some of his own tension. “You still had to make it. Worlds ahead of me and my Lean Cuisines.” He gestured jokingly toward the microwave. He took a bite of the steak and nodded, “Definitely good enough that I’ll try my own subscription out. It’s nice having something that tastes like real food. Were you good at cooking prior to trying these out?”

“Good food and good company is extremely underrated,” Erin smirked, pointedly eyeing Roland. She felt a little bad about all of this but being on the favorable side of the police sergeant felt like the right move here. Better company than the one she had in her head, at the very least. If she had to hear Fuck black and white cookies or Putain one more time, she was going to scream. She settled in across from him, digging into the small portion she’d served herself. “Coffee and chocolate are a great start. You’re not so bad at this, huh?” Alright. Good. He was picking up on what she was putting down here. “I better not even get a whiff of you going back to Lean Cuisines after this,” she pointed her fork at him teasingly. She shrugged, narrowing her brows. “I’ve always cooked a little, and just for myself really. So it tasted decent enough to me? But these things really helped me realize everything I was doing wrong,” she laughed, shaking her head. “I know I sound like a walking sponsor for these things but I’m not trying to get you to sign up for the free meals, I swear. I’ve always been an advocate for healthy eating. You have no idea how many heart attacks I see come through my doors on a weekly basis.” She raised a brow, then took another bite, chewing thoughtfully. “But I’ve gotta ask--have I officially converted you?”

“Doesn’t hurt when the company happens to be a beautiful woman,” Roland blurted out and his cheeks immediately turned a flushed shade of pink. Why had he just said that? And why was he still hungry for the heart of a frat boy? “I don’t know why I said that-- Not that you’re not. I mean you have to know you’re a good looking woman. I just hadn’t meant to say that. I don’t know what’s come over me lately.” He was embarrassed. Not that he was normally great with the ladies, but this odd voice in his head seemed to be extra throwing him off his game. “Noted. Any favorite coffee drinks or chocolates I should know about,” he responded playfully, fighting with his hand to stay on his side of the table. They were in the middle of the station and he refused to give into the impulse to touch her hair. Eyes but replace them with candy corn. He briefly imagined Erin with candy corn eyes. She would still be gorgeous. Why did he keep thinking this weird crap? He took a few more bites and enjoyed the proper steak. Lean Cuisine Salisbury Steak and Mac and Cheese had nothing on this. “Okay, okay, no more Lean Cuisines. I’m not much of a cook, but if they’re as easy as you say, I’m sure I can manage.” As if he couldn’t stop himself, he added, “As much as I’d love to be coming through your doors, I’d rather it not be because I had a heart attack.” He buried his face in his palms. Why did he keep saying these things? This wasn’t how he normally talked to women. “I’m so sorry. I don’t--” He was definitely blowing any chance he may have had. “I’m definitely signing up for one of these meal delivery services. This makes Lean Cuisines look like crap.”

Erin slowed her chewing as she watched poor Roland short circuit literally right before her eyes. Oh, this hurt. This was painful. Wherever her conscience had been hiding, he’d summoned it back into the light because she was already feeling terrible about this. She’d make a shitty full-time criminal. “It’s okay,” she laughed softly, shrugging. “I don’t mind hearing it sometimes. Especially not from you.” Oh, she was going to hell. She could feel the flames burning in her chest already. “You know, I’ve actually really been into cheese lately?” She raised a brow, partially at herself. That was all Kaden’s doing, of course. “Cheese and wine. I’m pretty sure it’s just a phase but I’ve gotta admit--it’s a pretty good one,” she smirked, taking another bite. Oh boy howdy, he was struggling. “How about this?” She propositioned, sitting up straighter in her seat, pointing her fork in his direction. “The first box you get, you can return the favor and make me lunch. That’s absolutely the only acceptable way I’ll let you into my house.”

What was going on with him, Roland couldn’t be sure. First, he had hallucinated a monster in an abandoned house and now he kept having strange thoughts that didn’t feel entirely his own in his head. They pushed him to do and say things he found to be uncharacteristic. Hardly the ideal state of mind to be in when talking to a beautiful woman who for whatever reason wasn’t running for the hills. Instead, she still seemed to be flirting with him and that prospect left a warm smile on his face. “Well, good. It’s true, you know. You’re a beautiful and witty woman,” he added on hoping that he wasn’t taking it too far. He was more rusty than he would have liked and it didn’t help that  he was out of sorts. Somehow she said she even enjoyed him being cheesy? Not that he was a bad looking man by any measure, but he wasn’t exactly Brad Pitt. Did women even still find Brad Pitt hot? He didn’t know. “Cheese and wine kick, I can get behind that. Any favorite kinds of cheese and wine?” At her suggestion of him bringing over a meal for her once he got his own subscription, a goofy grin etched its way across his face. “I think I can manage that one. Maybe I’ll even bring some of that wine and cheese you mentioned.”

From their brief online conversation, Erin hadn’t expected the Lean Cuisine lovin’ police sergeant of White Crest to be quite so… forward? But the confidence was there and it was a little impressive coming from a man who looked like he hadn’t had a real meal in weeks. “You’re pretty charming yourself, Sarge,” Erin smirked. Her eyes flitted up as someone walked by and there was something eerily familiar about them. “Fucking Gary,” she murmured to herself, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. The man just looked at her with a puzzled expression and she returned it with one very similar, though there was an underlying disdain there she couldn’t quite explain. “Sorry,” she glanced down at her nearly finished plate, narrowing her eyes at herself. “My favorite?” She shrugged. “I mean, a good comte always goes pretty good with a pinot noir, you know?” Hmm. It wasn’t entirely clear to her how she knew that, but she was confident she did. She finished up her food with one last bite, that guilt picking at her insides, subtly and quietly. “We should do this again though, seriously. It was really nice. I mean, I thought so, anyway.”

Somehow his being out of sorts and more forward than Roland would have ever dreamed of didn’t scare Erin off. In fact, it seemed she was still flirting with him and he couldn’t quite wrap his head around why. Ask her if she wants to make out rang in his head, but he stifled the unfamiliar thoughts this time. “Thanks,” he said instead though he became confused at the mention of Gary. His brow scrunched together and he mused, “I didn’t realize you knew Gary. Our other animal control officer isn’t his biggest fan either.” In all fairness, Gary seemed a bit more stable than Langley, but he wasn’t about to go there. “It’s fine,” he responded with a small chuckle. He’d find out what she had against Gary next time they saw each other. As he was walking her out, she did confirm she would in fact like to do this again. The smile on his face was hard to contain and he didn’t see a reason to bother. She mentioned something called comte and Roland had no idea whether that was cheese or wine, but he wasn’t about to give himself away on that. A quick internet search could get him up to speed so he could get Erin something she’d be happy with. “I’ll definitely have to keep an eye out for a nice comte and pinot noir.” To say he was beaming at the mention of doing this again would be an understatement. Erin was witty, smart, and undeniably gorgeous. And she wanted to spend more time with him. His confidence in the dating department hadn’t been the best post-divorce, but apparently his brief stroke of crazy forwardness had done him some favors. “Absolutely, I thought it was a nice time, too. I’ll talk to you soon and we can plan something.” He gave her a final wave and felt a newfound sense of excitement as he made his way back to this office.

[rosebudmendes]

June l Shawn Mendes

A/N: I started writing this months ago and finalllyyyy finished it. Please give me some feedback so I am motivated to write more :) 

Summary: After a summer-long road trip, they both have to learn to say goodbye & accept that long distance will become the new norm. 

Warnings: goodbyes aren't fun i guess

WC: 1.8K l Masterlist l 

Seagulls chirping, waves crashing, a gentle touch from the early June sun. The clock on the jeep dash read 6:30 am. Normally, she would groan and go back to sleep for a few more hours but something inside of her stirred with each collapse of waves. Shawn remained asleep in the driver's seat, looking peaceful and content. Instead of waking him, she crawled out of the jeep in need of warmth and coffee.

It was the last week in June, meaning that the summer-long road-trip was coming to an end. It was the longest break Shawn had had since his music career took off, and they both went their separate ways. with the summer coming to an end, they both knew it was back to the dreadful long distance phone calls and late night FaceTime chats. This broke her spirit more and more each day; knowing that there were limited moments where they could touch each other. Limited moments of uncontrolled laughter over something as simple as a stomach growl, or a heated conversation about what Hogwarts house was the highest ranked. It wasn’t easy for her to say goodbye to anyone, especially to the one person who has made her feel safe for the past three months.

After the fire had heated the instant coffee enough, she strolled over to the drivers' side of the jeep where Shawn was deep asleep. “Shawnie, wake up.” She whispered while softly touching his cheek. Her arms felt like it was shaking the moment her fingers made contact with his face.

Eventually, her hand found its way to his forest of curls, massaging his scalp in rhythm with the waves. A small moan escaped his lips as his head fell deeper into her grasp. This made her feel safe. He made her feel safe. Something as simple as sleeping reflected how comfortable they felt in each others’ presence.

“Good morning sunshine” he mumbled as he stretched the sleep out of his joints. He yawned and rubbed his eyes while simultaneously whining for “coffee.” Before he sat up she put the cup of coffee in front of him. His face lit up with comfort, and she saw the ocean dancing in his eyes.

They both sat there silently sipping coffee, staring out of the jeep window into the delicate morning sunrise. The sky was dancing with pastel pinks and blues, which made her heart flutter.

During an earlier part of the trip, Shawn had the brilliant idea of a homemade scavenger hunt. There was only one hint: find something that reminds you of the other. Shawn, being the avid Pinterest user he is, felt like this was such a romantic idea and he had been scouting things he would choose when the moment was right.

They were in Nashville, Tennessee and it was the blooming stages of spring. All the flowers were bright with fresh colors, and the sun was shining without leaving its harsh kisses on their shoulders.

They both sat down on a bench outside of the restaurant they had stopped at for lunch. She was curled up against his torso, his long arms draped over her and their fingers laced together like cooked noodles. Shawn was watching her draw shapes in his forearm, and he gently kissed the top of her head. “Hey y/n. I have a game for us to play.” Like a child at recess she had flown from her position and was eagerly waiting for Shawn to give her the instructions. He adored how much of a child she was in moments like these. She knew how to be an adult, but never let that youthful glow diminish from her soul. Shawn knew he loved her when he realized their childlike spirit matched each other.  

“It's a scavenger hunt…all around this neighborhood. There is only one hint. Find as many things that remind you of the other.” Shawn was talking in a suspenseful voice, which made her laugh with excitement. “Meet back here in ten minutes, and GO!” He shouted as he ran past her and towards places they previously had visited.

Shawn quickly gathered his items since he already knew where to look. He found a pink rock in the shape of a lopsided heart, a blue flower that smelt like pollen and a dirty sticker with a cartoon sun on it. He waited on the bench for her to return with her treasures. It wasn’t long before she came strolling back, hands behind her back and a sly smirk painted on her face. “Well, well, well.” Shawn chanted as he simultaneously stood to his feet.

“You go first.” She exclaimed, shifting her weight back and forth in a rocking motion.

Shawn had pulled out each item one by one, explaining how the pink rock reminded him of the unconditional love she shows him. How the blue flower, although very pungent, made him think of how she was always able to calm him down in anxious moments, and how the sticker represented how she always seemed to brighten up his life.

“Shawnie…these are incredible.” She said, dimples appearing on each side of her cheek from smiling so big.

Shawn awkwardly put his hands in his back pocket and shifted his weight. “Okay, it's your turn.”

She followed the same sequence as Shawn, pulling out a guitar pick to represent his love of music, a coffee cup sleeve that reminded her of his drive towards his work. An abandoned ring with a small red jewel to symbolize his mind and heart being open to new things, and a small Christmas light. “I picked the Christmas light because your voice and heart are magic to me,” She was looking down at her hands that twirled the light in circles. “I don’t always see the magic in everyday life until I met you.”

Shawn was trying hard to not get emotional over the deep meaning in her objects. He knew he wasn’t good at hiding his emotions, so he put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. “C’ mon, let's go get some ice cream.”

After finishing the morning coffee, they strolled down to the water to investigate for themselves. She had one of Shawn's extra sweatshirts on, which fit just about the same as her own with an extra few inches on the arm length. She wrapped herself tightly in the excess material as Shawn snaked his long arms around her waist. The waves reached both of their toes, the freezing cold water causing them to jump away from each other. “This beach is beautiful.” She said reaching out for Shawn’s hand. He obeyed, lacing his fingers in between hers. “I could stay here with you forever.”

Shawn sighed a deep, heavy sigh. She knew by now that his sighs meant more than a built up pressure in his chest. It meant he was stuck in his head, thoughts brewing and chasing each one down a spiral staircase- making it impossible for him to focus on anything else. She hated seeing him so caught up in his head, but she also understood. At this moment she knew what he was thinking about. The Goodbye. The long distance. Would they last another tour season? Would they just take a break instead? How would it be when his tour was done? What if they met different people? What if they became different people? So different that the other couldn’t be with?

These thoughts were going through her head as well. She wanted nothing more than to just focus on the present moment, but it almost felt selfish to do so knowing this was the end of something magical. Shawn sighed again, this time letting gravity work his body to the ground. The sand was cold on his bare feet as he pulled his knees to his chest, staring blankly into the never-ending sea. “I don’t want this to end, y/n.” He avoided making eye contact with her as much as possible. Knowing the moment he saw her eyes, saw how sad she was and how strong she was trying to be for him. It would shatter his heart.

“I know Shawn, I don't either. But we can’t stop time, unfortunately.” Shoving logic into the conversation only made her mad at herself. She hated when people tried to make her feel better by using rational thoughts and evidence. They were hurting, and that was okay. She was now sitting cross-legged next to Shawn, picking up sand and letting it fall. There was a silence between them that felt thick and uncomfortable. As if there was a third person in between them, stretching out this moment. Her eyes began to sting, and she needed to move.

Almost jumping up she shouted, “C’mon, let's go!”

Shawn finally looked at her, with confusion and curiosity painted across his face. “What are you doing?”

She stuck her hand out, and Shawn grabbed it, letting her lead him into the unknown agenda.

“This one reminds me of strawberries!” She exclaimed running after Shawn to show him a seashell she just picked up.

“I like this color…reminds me of your eyes.” Shawn had a handful of the same blue-tinted shells. He let out a long sigh and looked at the sky, tears pricking at his eyes.

“Shawn…this is supposed to be making us happy! Not thinking about the sad parts of today.” She stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, “let's find one that reminds you of your favorite song.” Again, she pulled Shawn along to continue the scavenger hunt.

Shawn went along with each idea she came up with, and she kept coming with prompts to lift his spirits. Eventually, they both were tired from the afternoon heat and decided to sit in the wet sand, letting the waves wash the heat off their skin. They sat there together in silence, looking at the vast ocean. Nothing could be said, nothing could be done. They both knew the other was hurting and accepted that they were going to be apart again.

Without her noticing, Shawn had grabbed something out of his pocket. He grabbed her hand and placed the object into her palm. He watched her expression when she realized what he gave her. It was the pink rock shaped like a heart from Tennessee. The rock that reminded Shawn of the unconditional love between them. Tears were falling from both of their eyes now, and still, neither one spoke.

In a way, the rock was able to fill the silence with what was unable to be said aloud. That Shawn still loved her, and she still loved him. And that wouldn’t change, no matter how many miles and hours were between them. Somehow that little pink stone had put a film over their raw emotions. They didn't know how to express it, but they knew the end of June wasn’t the end of them.

[perriewinklenerdie]

Whatever it takes (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

  Author’s note: Hello, hello, hello! After yesterday’s chapter my mind has been working a little too hard, analyzing Ethan’s behavior, his reactions. So, basically, all of the dialogue you’re about to read is directly from chapter 11, I just took a spin at what could be going on in that beautiful head of his.

English is not my first language, my MC is Clarissa “Claire” Herondale and Ethan destroyed and put me back together just to destroy me again.

 Word count: 2569

 When you begin noticing you have feelings for someone, your mind and body subconsciously starts to gravitate towards them. You can tell that you are doing it, but there is nothing you can do, sooner or later you’re going to break.

And Ethan did just that.

That night in Miami was his breaking point. For weeks he was in denial, trying to convince himself that he didn’t have feelings for Claire, that she was at most, just a friend. A good friend, great even. He trusted her, she wanted to help him and she had her ways of cheering him up without being aware of doing it.

His dam broke. He kissed her like there was no tomorrow, held her like it was the last time he’ll ever see her, pull her close like it was the last time he’d ever get to do that.

Though about that he might have been right.

In one moment he was lost in her, she was his everything. In another, his mind caught up with his heart and made him stop to think.

He had to stop it before it went to far. Before he would not be able to give her up.

He knew that if they went all the way, he would not be able to let her go. Not for a night, not for a day, not ever. He’d like her to stay with him forever and he knew they couldn’t do that. Not in their situation.

So he stopped it. Broke their hearts, gave her excuses, the words bitter in his mouth. They came back to Boston and everything seemed normal to an outside viewer. But it wasn’t.

He knew it would be hard. Seeing her everyday at work and suddenly all he could see was her, her soft moans ringed in his ears, his mind occupied with her beautiful mind and face.

She seemed to be doing okay. Definitely better than him. They managed to keep their facades in front of their coworkers, not raising any suspicions.

Naveen finally got to meet her. Ethan could tell the two would hit it off right away, they were so similar in many aspects. He was right.

His mentor liked her from the moment she entered the room and looked at him, greeting him politely before straying her eyes towards Ethan for a second, then going back to Naveen. He could feel his heart speed up under her gaze. It was at this moment that he knew that, like it or not, he was a goner. If she could make him feel like this with just one glance, just one kiss, what would she do to him if they…

He shook his head, standing by Naveen’s bed, Claire a few steps away from him, doing tests. His thoughts have wandered to her, again. Naveen made a comment on Ethan rubbing off on Claire and their eyes met for a short second. The storm in him intensified, his heart swelling. Memories of their kiss in Miami flooded his mind, not letting him focus on anything else. She was thinking about it too. He could see it in her eyes, her pupils dilated; her breathing picked up.

They broke eye contact quickly to prevent Naveen from catching on to anything. Not successfully. At this point, after knowing Naveen for so long, he should have known nothing was going to escape his attention.

“Oh…you two are getting quite close, aren’t you? Sharing this secret and… others…” he trailed off, looking at Ethan smugly, as though he solved the difficult case. He froze for a second, regaining his composure and glaring at his mentor.

They resumed their conversation, discussing Naveen’s condition. He was improving, but Claire, just like him, noticed that not everything was going better.

Then Naveen coughed. And blood showed up on his napkin. Ethan frowned, worry taking over his features.

“Claire, we have a new symptom. We need to run tests on his blood.”

“But we cannot do it without all that paperwork.”

“We do whatever it takes. We’ll have to do it ourselves.”

“Can’t you do it on your own?”

“It would be too suspicious for me to go there alone should someone catch me. Please, Claire, I… I can’t do this without you…” he was desperate. He felt time play tricks on him, laughing in his face against his best efforts. She nodded, her face grim but her eyes were supportive.

“Okay… let’s go.”

“I knew you would understand.” He smiled and opened the door for her, letting her go first. Looking back at Naveen one last time he noticed a knowing smile on his face. He shook his head and went after Claire.

They were walking down the hall, not saying a word to each other. Meanwhile his mind was in a frenzy. His eyes kept on straying to her, taking in her image in the corner of his eye.

He tried. He really tried to throw away any memories from Miami from his brain but it’s just as though she was permanently etched into his head, never to leave.

Ethan suddenly sees Dr. Wen coming their way. His arm shoots out in front of Claire, grabbing her by her waist to stop her movement. She looks at him, confused.

“What is it?”

“It’s dr. Wen, the lab chief. She was supposed to be on a break.” Her eyes shine with alarm, her body frozen.

“She’ll see us! Quick, Dr. Ramsey! Hide in the supply closet!” she says, keeping her voice low, pushing on his chest with her hands, backing him into the room and closing the door behind them.

“Hey- “

“Shhhh…” she put her hand on his mouth almost as if she didn’t think before doing it. They both hold their breath as the footsteps can be heard right outside the door. Ethan wished he could say that he wasn’t breathing because of the threat of being caught, but that was not true.

The truth was, he couldn’t breathe because for the first time since Miami, they were so close to each other. Their bodies pressed against one another in the small space, his arm still around her, her hands on him. He was looking at her, wondering how long he could keep up his act.

They heard Dr. Wen mutter something to herself and leave the hall, going on her break. He felt her body relax against his, letting out her breath. She turned her head towards him and their eyes met. She realized after a second what position they were in. He made himself take her wrist firmly in his hand, moving it away from his mouth.

“We’re going to have to work on our boundaries.” He whispered to her in case someone was still around. Yes. Work on boundaries. I’d like them gone.

“Definitely. Right after you enlist me to break into this hospital facility with you, right?” her voice was dripping with sarcasm, but he could hear a faint smile.

“… Touché” a smile made its way onto his face.

Their eyes locked again and he took a step towards her, not breaking their eye contact, looking intensely at the woman before him. Their bodies were closer and closer, almost no space between them, the air around them seemed electrified…

… and then he reached behind her for the test tubes, composing himself at the very last second before he gave into his desire.

“We’ll need these.” He held them up so she could see what he was talking about. Her eyes moved from his face to the objects in his palm, her breath coming out shaky with emotions and tension.

Ethan opened the door, looking outside to see if anyone was there and when he was sure they were safe, he held them for her so she could walk out of the storage room.

They got to the lab and closed the door behind them. Claire let out a sigh of relief.

“I think we are in the clear now, but we still should be as quick as possible.” He mused quietly, speaking to her. Then he proceeded to give her instructions on how to prepare the samples while he got the computer ready.

She got to work immediately, composed and focused, while Ethan turned his attention to the computer before him that just seemed to not want to cooperate. He smacked the side of it with his palm, cursing under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” Claire’s concerned voice reached his ears. So many things.

“It froze up on me. I’ll have to reboot the whole thing before we can continue.” He pressed a few things and the machine came up to life again, the progress bar loading very slowly.

“It looks like it will take some time.” She said, not looking at him.

“Time that we don’t have! We’re risking too much just by- “ he cuts himself off, guilt taking over, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He felt like an asshole, it wasn’t her fault. None of it wasn’t her fault. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t take this out on you.” And you have every right to call me out on it right now. I deserve it.

“I know you don’t mean it. You’re just frustrated. I am too.” her voice is certain and confident, her eyes shining and boring into his soul, tearing right through his walls straight into him.

“Thank you for being so understanding. But I can’t afford to push away the one person I can trust with this.” I trust you.

“Have you ever done anything like this before?” her question was no doubt about breaking into the lab but the truth was, there were a lot of things that he did for the first time since she appeared in his life.

“Not exactly. But I’ve bent the rules before. I’ve been a thorn in the side of many administrators. Things are… more complicated now that the chief someone I actually respect. But I can’t give up. I owe Naveen everything.” All my life, the chance to become the doctor I am today… including the chance to meet you… “I can’t lose him. I won’t lose him.”

“Dr. Ramsey… we’ll find a way. And I’ll be right by your side every step of the way.” She smiled brightly at him, confidence in her voice, her positivity infectious. He fixed his eyes on her, watching her carefully, a small smirk growing on his lips.

“You’re… not like the usual interns, Rookie.” His eyes still on her, unable to move. He snapped out of it a moment later, turning to look at the analyzer, putting in the test information. “Are those samples ready? We need to be quick.”

He looks at her as she fills the last tube with Naveen’s blood without hesitation, doing it perfectly.

“Trustworthy and competent, I see.” He was smiling so widely he was sure his cheeks will hurt later.

“Don’t look so surprised.” She shot his a smirk and loaded the samples into the analyzer. Ethan turned on the machine.

“And now we wait…” he said as both of them leaned against the counter, waiting for the results.

“Can this be any slower?”

“Spoken like someone who’s never monitored an M.R.I.” there it was again, a smile on his face. He was sure that he has never smiled more than after he met her.

The analysis was complete a couple of minutes later, he tears off the printout and proceeds to read it. His face falls.

“What is it?” she asked, concerned, leaning closer to him.

“His erythrocyte sedimentation rate is elevated. Whatever his infection is, it’s still there… But what’s most troubling is his glomerular filtration rate…” his voice trails off as he hands her the report.

“His kidneys could fail. What do we do?”

“We keep trying everything we can think of. We have to find the source of his infection…” he looks at her, her posture betrays her state of mind. “I have some research to do. Update Naveen, leave nothing out. He’ll know if you’re hiding something.” He sighted.

“Yes, Doctor…” she said and turned around, leaving him without another word.

“Claire, wait…” her name seemed so good in his mind. So right.

“Yes?” she turned around to face him again.

“I just wanted to say… thank you. I suppose I’m in your debt, now.” Not the first time, not the last and I don’t think I’ll be ever be able to repay you.

“I don’t need you in my debt, Dr. Ramsey. But I need some honesty.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, even though he already knew what she was going to say next. And he was afraid.

“Be honest… about us.” She looked him straight in the eye, challenging him.

“I’m… not sure what you mean.” He acted like he was shocked by her request, but the truth was, he had no idea how to answer.

“I think you know exactly what I mean.” Her eyes seemed to drill a hole in him, reaching the deepest and darkest parts and shining a light on them.

He turned around, his back to her, just to hide his face. He was losing it again, feeling it slip from his grasp with every second.

Her steps towards him could be heard in the room and then a warm hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Please, Claire. This is hard enough already.” Pain in his voice was evident and he was sure she caught on to that.

“Then why keep fighting it? We both want this. We both feel this. It almost seems… inevitable…” she sounded vulnerable, opening her heart to him again. His control was dissipating faster and faster, threatening to leave him altogether.

He turned around to face her, locking their eyes. He was sure that she could see right through him just by looking into his eyes. All the longing he felt towards her… all the pain…

His hand acted before his brain registered what was happening. His fingers stroked her cheek gently, her smooth and delicate skin soft under his fingertips.

“We’re doctors, Claire. Fighting the inevitable is our job description.” He took his hand away and walked past her, running away from her, not looking back.

He reached his office and slumped against the door heavily, his breathing elevated, his heart beating way too fast, hurting in his chest, all the energy leaving his body.

He managed to escape before slipping again. She put her hand on him and he was mere seconds away from pushing her up against the counter and kissing her, just like he wanted to in the supply closet and countless times before that, every time he saw her.

He realized that if he had some self-control before today, he had none right now. It all flew out the window when he reached for her in the hall, trying to stop her from exposing them.

Exposing them.

He didn’t know how long he could keep himself from acting on his feelings. She was important to him, much too important to compromise her career and her reputation. But he was also a human, a simple man. His heart ached when he saw her, his mind froze, his eyes followed her every move.

He needed to figure things between them. Do everything he could to find a way.

Whatever it takes.

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[purplesurveys]

581

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from? They’re my sister’s; I borrowed them for the semester because these shorts are conducive for my PE classes, but since we already finished the class last week I should probs give it back to her soon. Do you find smoking unattractive? I used to, but now I can’t really say that I hate it. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? They did, back in Grade 6. They took away two of my very private diaries and ever since then I never wrote down my thoughts in a notebook. I never did get the two back. Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I thought I could, then my friends made me try a margarita a month after I turned 18 hahaha. Is there someone you'll never forget? There are loads of people I haven’t and will never forget; this is a very broad question.

Do you miss someone right now? Yes. Last time you were on the phone? Just to use it? Maybe some four minutes ago. But the last time I was on a call – if that’s what you meant – was last night. Do you get distracted easily? Yeup. Earlier I was doing a reading, picked up my phone for a short break, then never realized I was on my phone for the next two hours. Have your parents ever caught you drinking? They never ‘caught’ me; whenever I do drink I let them know/ask permission. I respect them enough to do that because I know how alcohol had nearly ruined our family in the past. Do you think flirting is cheating? Uhhhhhhh yes. Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with? I could never hate Gab. Who was the last person you sat next to in a car with? It was my brother.  Is your room messy or clean? Fairly clean. I had a general cleaning of my room not too long ago. Do you drink tea? Not the hot or herbal kind. I only have iced tea occasionally. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Sort of? Kind of? Idk it’s either way. I’m content that I’m home but I wouldn’t mind being out drinking right now too. What are you listening to right now? I can only hear the electric fan’s white noise. I don’t feel like listening to music. Where did you get your last bruise from? I don’t remember my most recent bruise but it probably has something to do with PE and me hitting the mat/floor way too hard. Are you looking forward to anything? The weekend. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? The fact that I stared at this question for a good minute must mean I haven’t thought this in a while lmao. That’s gotta be a good thing! Whose house where you last at? Other than mine, Gab’s. When someone says 'we need to talk', what do you think: If I know that that person doesn’t have a problem/potential problem with me, I just assume it’s something light. The only time this was said to me and it turned out to be something bad was my mom gathering us to say that our grandpa died, so I don’t really have a bad experience in general with that sentence. Tell me what's on your mind? I would have been able to sleep in tomorrow if I didn’t accept a 10 AM commitment and now I’m hating myself loads. It’s exhausting to accept an executive position sometimes. Will you be in bed before 11 tonight? I doubt it; it’s already 9:55 and I just started on this survey. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? It’s fine, but it’s not super solid or anything. They don’t know anything about me other than what I post on Facebook. How much money did you spend today? I spent P45 on an egg and cheese sandwich just to get through my hunger this morning, and my orders from online shopping came so I dropped P1,120 on that hahaha. In other words, I’m slowly GOING BROKE Can you see a cat from where you're sitting? Nope. I can see a dog, though. Who was your last text from? My professor for a history class. I’m the beadle in this class, so he texts me reminders from time to time. What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? It’s fairly new so it hasn’t acted up ever. The only bad thing that happens to it is me dropping it D: What's been upsetting you lately? I am so fucking burned out from this semester and just wish it’s over already. Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment? Nope, everyone’s safe. Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? Nopes.

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? The living room couch, I think. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Not at all. I’m an easy target. Do you have a dog? Yes, the goodest and bestest. Do you like to wear pants? No, I hate jeans and wish I had more shorts than jeans. How many people do you trust fully? I trust everybody I know, is the thing. I feel like my loved ones and friends deserve that. But I can cut off ties with them very easily if they abuse that trust. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do? I use my phone but make sure I’m hidden behind my laptop. If that’s too risky, I’ll doodle whatever lyrics on my notebook (if I’m writing). Otherwise I’d just check my social media on my laptop. What’s your favorite color out of these five? Green, Yellow, Blue, Pink: Pink. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? “...Already?” I set my alarms this morning for 4 AM, 4:30 AM, and 5:30 AM. I woke up at the 4 AM alarm, went back to sleep, and the next alarm that woke me was the 5:30 one. I must have turned off the 4:30 one too but I was probably half-sleepy and groggy AS FUCK because I don’t remember turning that one off at all. Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? Yeah. I kinda have to because the way I run during the day depends on the amount of sleep I get. Ever like someone older than you? I haven’t. What's your favorite amusement park? I don’t really have any. Universal Studios in Singapore was great fun though. Are you cold at this very moment? A little bit. I’ve since turned on the AC and also have an electric fan directed at me, so I’m quite chilly. Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet? Depends on my mood..sometimes I’m talkative, and sometimes I just want to be on my laptop and be undisturbed. Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? Other than incompetent groupmates from past projects who temporarily made my life a living hell, not really. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 7 to 10. Nothing more, nothing less. What do you think Avril Lavigne is doing at the moment? This question is so creepy. What's one fear are you most paranoid about? Not getting a nice enough job that doesn’t pay enough. Have you ran into an old friend recently? A couple of weeks ago I bumped into Mils; I was headed to my car and she was headed to class. It was super brief; we just said hi and she complimented my water bottle (which I have since lost lmao). Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Most likely. Could you go a whole year without cursing? I doubt it. Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV! I gave that up like, 6 years ago lol. That’s no problem for me now. Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? No, I haven’t. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? I want to play Mario Kart Tour again but I have to finish this survey first. Does anyone know your password besides you? Gab and my sister. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? I dunno, I’ve never been in that situation. Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes. Are you a patient person? I’m patient with people more; I don’t like the other aspects of waiting, like traffic or waiting in line for something. Could you go a day without eating? I could, but it would suck and it would hurt and I’d probably pass out. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? More than, I guess. I mean I didn’t plan on making it to 21, so I guess everything I do from here on out is more than what I had planned. Are you a forgiving person? No. I prefer holding grudges. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH YES What is something you disliked about today? My anthropology professor instructed us to watch a film over the weekend. Completely forgot about it of course, and crammed my viewing the night before even though I was already tired. Today, I walked into the room to find out we were gonna watch the exact same movie as a class anyway; meaning I could have rested up last night lolololololol but guess not When's the last time you had a headache? A week ago, I think. Is there anything that you are craving right now? A burger from Pound :( And samgyupsal, ughhhhhhhh. What was the first thing you thought of this morning? How I fucking hate my Wednesday schedule. What part of your body hurts right now? I’m good at the moment. Eyes are starting to feel heavy though. Is there anyone you would like to just appear at your front door right now? Not really. Gab’s working tonight and I wouldn’t want her to drop everything just to surprise me at home. What is something that you realized today? I really dislike my course. I had a very productive afternoon today and started work on each of my final requirements for all my classes this semester – I met progress with every single major requirement, except for those of my journ electives, about which I could really not care less. Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? No. Do you remember who your first crush was? Yeah, my 5th grade science teacher. I remember feeling ashamed to disclose it on these surveys back when I was new to this, but it’s been like ten years and I’ve gotten old as fuck and I can just spit it out now lmao. Ever walked into the guy's bathroom? I don’t think so. Have you ever cried from being so mad? Sure. What's a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? Binoculars. Do you have a bad temper? I can, most especially on my period. How many wives or husbands do you want? Wow, just one please. What's the closest pink object to you? My keyboard cover. Do you consider yourself lucky? No. Whats on your bedroom floor right now? A single sock that I’m too lazy to pick up for now, and my dog. Do you trust anyone? I trust lots of people. What's your favorite color gummy bear? Maybe red? I like strawberry/cherry flavored gummies. What's the last movie you saw in the theater? Portrait of a Lady on Fire. If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be? Duterte. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Meh, yes and no. What color is your iPod? I don’t use it anymore, but my Nano is blue. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping maybe? Or at least settling in. Do you like roller coasters? Nope. One famous guy you would marry in an instance? Does it have to be a guy? I got nothing.

[fadingcoast]

Death of the Lie  ||  Chapter 9: Sanctum

AUTHORS: @fandom-and-feminism & @fadingcoast

Summary: Odin and his daughter Hela are the perfect conquerors of the universe. The nine realms fall one after the other into their clutch. After Odin takes a second wife and has a son with her, he doesn’t need Hela anymore. Hela abandons her father and ends up marrying Laufey, a sworn enemy of the Aesir people. Not long after, she becomes pregnant with Laufey’s child. Odin cannot let that son be born, but against all odds, the boy survives. Odin is forced to bring him back to Asgard to be raised as his own until he could make further use of him. The half-Jotun-half-Aesir boy grows up to look and act a lot like his mother, which disturbs Odin, and makes him treat the boy horribly. Odin’s lies are deep and complex, but one day the boy will find out the truth about everything he is.

PAIRING: None RATING: Teen

MASTERLIST

Feedback is always appreciated and reblogs are encouraged!! Taglist is open!!

@igotloki @xalgaliareptx @wolfpawn @fairlightswiftly @christy-winchester  @silverhart93

Chapter 9: Sanctum

The next morning, despite all the excitement of the previous night, Loki woke up energized and well rested. He had slept the deep, dreamless sleep of someone finally at peace, and there was something soothing about waking up to the chirping of birds and gurgling water instead of shouting soldiers and clanking metal.

Loki took a deep and joyful breath as he sat on the bed, watching the patterns cast on the floor made by the sunlight filtering through the leaves of the trees outside his room. He couldn’t wait to explore more of the land. The lake and the forest looked inviting and new. Everything on Asgard was so artificial and hand crafted, and Alfheim was full of seemingly endless resplendent wonders. Loki could only imagine how many surprises nature could hold when left to act in her own way.

But today was not the day. Today, King Frèyr would take him to the Sanctum.

The King hadn’t said much regarding Loki’s admission to the Sanctum. All Loki knew was that he would have to go through some tests, like an audition. The nature of the tests, Frèyr could not divulge.

Loki’s smile faltered, all his insecurities dawning on him. What if he wasn’t good enough? What if he didn’t get accepted? Would they send him back to Asgard? He bet his father would be really happy about yet another failure on his part. The thought of going back to Asgard after seeing how happy he could be here made his stomach drop.

A small knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Come in,” he shouted, and Gwyn opened the door.

“Your highness,” she said with a small bow. “The King has requested your presence for breakfast. May I assist you in getting ready this morning?”

She didn’t wait for Loki to answer, and busied herself in running a bath and picking his outfit. Loki looked at her as she worked, amusement distracting him from his anxieties.

“I could say no, but it seems you won’t listen to me,” Loki said with a smile.

“I am happy we have reached an understanding so soon.” Gwyn smiled back, her hands on her plump hips.

Already bathed, dressed and pampered up, Loki met the King and the Princess in the hall for breakfast. They discussed the previous night and the positive impression Loki had made on the nobles. Loki felt terribly self conscious about the whole thing; part of him wondered how his father would feel about his subjects’ judgement. Another part of him thought Odin deserved it.

“Should I have said something?” Loki asked, more to himself. “I mean, I am the representative of the House of Odin, but--”

“My boy.” Frèyr patted his shoulder. “Your father has no eyes here,” he said with a wink. “Now, finish your breakfast. There are people waiting to meet you.”

Suddenly, Loki lost his appetite. “Right…”

“Don’t be nervous,” Sigyn chirped in, trying to lighten his mood. “You’ll do great.”

“You’ve been to the Sanctum? You go there too?”

“Only as a visitor,” she explained. “I won’t be taking the trials for another decade or so.”

Frèyr briefly explained the schooling system to Loki as they ate. The Sanctum was reserved for those who excelled in the magical arts, those who could pass the trials with no exception. Some professions intrinsically linked to magic had to go there to study, such as healers. Loki knew this much: the healers of the palace in Asgard had attended this Sanctum. It made him feel even more anxious. Sigyn grabbed his hand on the table.

“Loki, we’ve seen your magic. Stop doubting yourself so much,” she said with a smile. “As you saw last night, things work very differently here. Your magic won’t be ever made fun of or brushed aside.”

Loki knew Sigyn was right, and her assurance lessened the knot in his stomach, allowing him to finish his breakfast.

.-

King Frèyr led Loki to the back of the castle and through the gardens. A white cobblestone path led to the base of the mountains. It was surrounded by trees that kept the walk light and cool. Loki couldn’t help but think that this same task would have made him extremely uncomfortable back home, even during this time of year.

They walked in silence, and Frèyr noticed how nervous Loki still was. He wouldn’t stop scratching and pulling at his fingers the whole way. Breakfast sat heavy in Loki’s stomach and felt more like ice the closer they got to the Sanctum itself, and he found himself wishing he had waited to eat until after the exam.

After a short flight of stairs, they reached the entrance to the Sanctum, and the sight that greeted him was exquisite and nearly made him forget his nerves. Much like the rest of Alfheim, the Sanctum had been built as part of its natural surroundings. The rounded white stone structure had been carved out of the mountain itself. The arch and pillars at the doorway were peppered with leaf patterns that shone green and gold in the light. An ash tree had been sculpted in extreme detail at the top of the entrance - a symbol of Yggdrasil, of strength as well as magical potency and power. The building itself didn’t appear to be as big as the palace, but the light and the colors made it look ethereal.

A guard was stationed at the entrance, and he bowed to both Frèyr and Loki before they crossed the threshold. A thick man dressed in a linen beige and green tunic hurried to greet them.

“Your majesties!” He greeted them with a bow. “We’ve been expecting you.”

“Master Céleben.” Frèyr nodded and Loki copied him.

“Please, come with me. The rest of the council will see you shortly,” Master Céleben said, leading them inside.

If the view from the outside was breathtaking, Loki wasn’t sure how he could describe the inside. He was stunned when he realized that the small building outside was literally just the entrance. The mountain was the Sanctum, and it was more beautiful and inspiring than anything Loki had seen in his life.

Master Céleben walked them through an expansive corridor. Long pillars that lined the walls had been carved from the stone of the mountain, respecting its colors. White marble, shining granite and black obsidian were just a few. One side of the corridor boasted statues of many celebrated Seidr masters. Loki knew the names of a few and wasn’t at all surprised to see Asgard’s archives had left the men out. The men of Aesir stories were fierce and strong warriors, not wizards. It was both refreshing and encouraging to see men from his own realm represented among the greatest to have learned at this Sanctum. The other side of the corridor was all windows at the top, the lower half of the wall covered in bright and colorful murals, depicting different crafts and uses of magic. Alchemy, chemistry, astronomy, healing, engineering, different types of art… The gardening bit reminded him of Frigga.

“My prince,” master Céleben brought Loki back from his admiration. “This way, please.”

The master opened a wooden door and waited for Loki to go in. Frèyr smiled at Loki before taking a seat by the windows. Loki took a deep breath to calm his racing heart and entered the room. Céleben followed right behind him.

“Prince Loki, may I introduce you to Master Arannion and Master Indilwen.” Both man and woman bowed their heads slightly, and Loki nodded in response.

After exchanging pleasantries and informing him they had received a very lengthy and heartfelt letter from Queen Frigga, they made Loki sit at a long table. Master Arannion, head of the Sanctum, made a short introduction of the place and laid out the tests Loki would have to go through.

“There is a practical part and a theoretical part,” he said. “From what I gather, you should not have problems with the practical part of it, seeing you have already mastered conjuring, cloaking and some degree of illusionary magic. As for theory, we know your education in Asgard must have been… less than optimum.”

“My mother suggested many volumes to read…” Loki said tentatively.

“I don’t doubt the Queen did as much as she could, but Asgard has very little practical information about subjects that don’t interest them,” Master Indilwen offered politely. “Keeping that in mind, we will give you access to our own archive so you can study for the theoretical exam,” she added with a smile.

Loki’s eyes went wide in surprise. He hadn’t expected to be given extra time to prepare.

“As for the practical trials…” Master Céleben stood up and motioned Loki to do the same. “Your examination starts now.”

Loki was about to protest, but decided against it. He knew the extent of his magic, he didn’t have to rehearse it. He had noticed how much easier was to gather his energy in this realm too, so he took a deep breath and stood in the middle of the room, awaiting instructions. The three masters had him following several tasks, going from simple tricks like conjuring everyday objects to more elaborate ones like cloaking and teleportation. Everything was going pretty well, if Loki had a say, but the masters were unreadable.

After what it felt like a long time, Loki was finally allowed to rest. He hadn’t realized how drained he was; his hands were shaking and he was sweating lightly in his heavy Asgardian attire. In an automatic move, he made his clothes cooler, but only just. The last thing he wanted was to start gathering frost in front of the teachers.

“Very good,” was all Master Indilwen said, with a tiny smile. “Master Céleben will take you to the library and give you the proper books for you to study. Your theoretical exam will be held next week.”

All the way to the library, Loki wanted to ask how had he done, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. And anyway, he was still being distracted by the decoration. When they got to the library, Loki forgot how to speak again. The room was massive. At least 3 stories high, ornate black iron stairs moved magically to allow the scholars to move around. As the rest of the Sanctum, the mountain was the wall and the ceiling. An intricate system of mirrors allowed the sunlight coming from one side of the room to flood it completely. Loki was sure he could hear bubbling water somewhere, no doubt they were underground springs. The whole time Master Céleben was gathering his books, Loki stared at the place with his mouth open.

“Here you go,” Master Céleben presented him the books and a small list.

“Sorry.” Loki said, shaking his head.

“Quite impressive, isn’t it?” Master Céleben smiled. “We hold the largest collection in the Nine Realms. Not only magic, but history, myth, fantasy and other subjects.” He said, then brought the attention back to the books he had given Loki. “These will help you with the basics, and the titles on this list you can get at the palace.”

Loki thanked the master many times while they were on their way out. He was practically beside himself with nerves and excitement. Frèyr was waiting for Loki outside, and he stared at Loki expectantly until the master went back inside.

“How did it go?” the king asked with a smile.

“I think I have never wanted something so much as I want go here,” Loki said, still in a state of shock.

Frèyr laughed and patted Loki’s back affectionately. “You will, my boy. You will.”

.-

The following week, Loki spent nearly every waking hour reading and studying, filling a small spare blank manuscript with his new notes. He had many things to thank his maid for. Gwyn made sure he didn’t exhaust himself, having him bathe in his relaxing oils every night. You must get a good night sleep so your head is clear tomorrow. He might have skipped meals too if it weren’t for Gwyn watching him very closely and checking every plate he sent back to the kitchen. You’re but skin and bones! You must feed properly if you want to perform magic! Loki was quickly growing fond of her mother hen nature and was grateful she was there to help him.

Princess Sigyn was also quite helpful, showing Loki the best spots to read in the gardens, teaching him some of her studying skills, and sometimes dragging him out of despair when he got stuck.

The day of the examination, Loki was still nervous, but confident that he had done everything in his power to prepare for this. He arrived at the Sanctum early, just in case. A short, skinny man who introduced himself as Master Manadhon was waiting for him. Soon, five other people arrived to the foyer: three men and two women, fairly close to his age. Loki recognized them as Vanir. The sound of the Bifrost broke the usual calmness, and a while later two Aesir women arrived. From the light blue color of their robes, Loki knew they were healers in training.

Master Manadhon led the group down the same corridor Loki had been the first time, and into the same room. But now, the hall was full of comfortable working stations. Each of them got a blank notebook and a question sheet. A big golden clock chimed, signaling the start of their examination time.

Loki took a deep breath and started to work. The sound of the wind and the water outside relaxed him enough to finish in the allotted time. But in all honesty, he had no idea how he had done. After he turned in his notebook, Master Manadhon informed him his results would be announced the following day, and allowed him to leave.

Frèyr and Sigyn took Loki riding that afternoon, just to keep his mind off the exam. The beauty of the land and the low temperature helped to make him less anxious, but at the same time it made him want to stay even more.

Next morning, Gwyn got him out of bed, as usual, and urged him to have breakfast in the gardens. But Loki could not stay still. He just wished he could sit by his door, waiting for news from the Sanctum.

When he returned to his chambers after lunch, he found a fairly big square object on his desk, wrapped in unmarked gold paper. Attached to the top, there was a rolled parchment with the ash leaf seal of the Sanctum. Loki’s heart started pounding. He opened the parchment with trembling hands.

Prince Loki of Asgard, the letter read,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted as a student of the Sanctum of Alfheim.

Your application and examination were exemplary, and we look forward to advancing your education in seidr and the magical arts.

Term begins one quarter moon from today. You will receive your textbooks once you start your classes, and we have sent the study manuscript for your notes with this letter. May it serve you well during your time at the Sanctum.

Best regards,

Master Manadhon.

Loki couldn’t believe it! He had been accepted! Eagerly, he ripped open the gold paper, already suspecting what the pack was. As he read the cover his smile grew even wider, if that was possible: his first Grimoire.

He had never seen one in Asgard, and Odin never let him own one. That’s why his notes were scattered over several journals and loose pages. But no more.

A rush of exhilaration ran through him as he opened his Grimoire. The countercover was green, black and gold. The front page had his name and his apprentice rank, in gold ink. The first pages were already occupied with a brief history lesson, some minor spells, basic magic mechanics and moving images. The rest of the book was blank, and Loki couldn’t wait to start filling it with his own annotations and spells. But he first had to write to his mother and tell her the good news.

Frèyr held a small celebration for him that evening, his favorite pudding included. They all assured him that they had never doubted his skill and that he would surely excel under the guidance of the greatest seidr masters in the nine realms and the support of people who believed in him. Loki knew it was a lot of pressure but for once he actually felt like he could live up to it.

In the days leading to the start of the term, Sigyn and Gwyn decided Loki needed new clothes. He shouldn’t be around in his heavy Asgardian attire, they insisted, so they took him to the tailors and the shoemakers. Loki got new tunics, shirts, trousers, breechers, shoes and short boots, all made in bright forest green, black, and dark brown, and threaded with golden leaf motives. They were all made out of linen, silk and wool, which made them comfortable and cozy. Leather was reserved for his combat training armor. His heavy Asgardian black boots would come handy in the snow season, and his new brown boots would suit his new wardrobe better.

“Girls and boys will be falling at your feet in no time,” Sigyn said with a glint in her eyes, while Gwyn was again braiding his hair after he tried on some of his new clothes.

Loki just smiled at the compliment, face turning slightly pink. He hadn’t given it much thought, as he had been raised beside Thor, who was usually the one whose attentions were sought by their peers, but now Loki had a chance to prove himself without being compared to his brother. And he had to admit the new clothes did flatter him in a way that all-black never did.

At last it was the first day of school, and Loki couldn’t remember being this excited in his life before. He woke up before Gwyn could drag him out of bed, and she insisted he ate all his breakfast, nevermind that Loki was nearly bouncing off the walls.

It was a chill morning, so Loki donned his new woolen coat, and packed his quills and pens with his notebooks and his Grimoire. He had heard the Bifrost earlier, so he correctly guessed the healers in training had arrived from Asgard. The Vanir group he had seen walk by when he was getting ready to leave.

The whole time Loki walked the corridor that led into the heart of the Sanctum, his heart was pounding. He could hear a smattering of voices inside the classroom, and his heart jumped to his throat. Loki took one final breath to calm himself before he touched the doorknob and opened the door.

.-

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