#on a related note this whole situation will be like a purge in the fandom

[decaf-lesbian]

seeing the chappell roan discourse is making me so mad. she is a person who made her boundaries clear as day and yet y'all are hating on her????

"oh but *we* made her famous so she owes us this" NO SHE FUCKING DOESN'T!!! she makes her art and we consume it. we support her and we get art in return. we pay for a concert and she plays a concert. that's the whole trade. if she's just walking down the street and you ask for a photo, there isn't any trade: you're asking her to do something for you when she is off the clock, so essentially something for free. if she takes a photo with you, great! and if she doesn't want to, also great! because she is entitled to her privacy and you, by the great institution of Common Decency, should respect her decision and not demand more. it's a simple concept and you shouldn't be having a problem with it.

"oh but she chose this career, she should face the consequences" i'm going to explain this in very simple terms: she chose be an ARTIST. i know it's not a 9-5 but, at the end of the day, it's literally just a job; she pays her bills with it, she does that for a living, so it's a fucking job. stalkers and creeps SHOULD NOT COME WITH THIS or any other profession. simple as that.

time and time again, we have the same conversation about how we idolize artists to the point of serious endangering behavior – every day people preach about stan culture and how we should stop deifying them. yet when an artist, especially when it comes to female artists, comes forward and sets crystal clear boundaries to avoid this idolization, everyone hates on them and says they are ungrateful. so what do you guys actually want? because chappell humanized herself. she separated herself from her art and she actively went against stan culture by expressing her feelings. she just did EXACTLY what everyone says we should do and yet people are getting mad at her. it's insane to me that people are so defensive of literal criminal behavior as a success byproduct. absolutely insane.

to everyone who got mad at chappell, i urge you to sit down and think about why you are mad. because no one should be mad at someone setting boundaries to live their life without fear, even if said someone is a celebrity. you guys should go frolick in a meadow or something. reconnect with nature idk just touch some grass every once in a while.

[5ummit]

Banned Tags

When I made my original Tumblr Purge 2: Electric Boogaloo PSA, I knew the situation was bad, but I still had no idea how bad. It was only after I started noticing how many posts were missing on iOS, investigating exactly which tags caused them to be blocked, and making my own list that it really sunk in. Y’all it’s bad. It’s real bad.

While most of the banned tags are at least somewhat logical (nsfw, porn, kink, etc) there are also a significant number that have no relation to “sensitive content” whatsoever. In fact, these tags are so ubiquitous you would be hard pressed to find a single tumblr user that doesn’t regularly use at least some of them, especially content creators. I don’t know how these tags could’ve possibly ended up on the banned list, but my guess based on my findings and tumblr’s general level of competence: a bunch of blogs flagged as explicit were scraped and all of the tags that were used x amount of times were dumped into a “banned tag” database and never checked by a real human. I can only assume that some of these will be walked back eventually once the backlash becomes great enough (as they did in the Original Purge), but until that happens we’re left managing this mess as best we can.

And in case you’re thinking to yourself “surely it can’t be that bad,” here are all of the general/fandom tags I’ve found so far that are now hidden, from both searches and dashboards, on the iOS app (more under the cut):

[Updated Feb 8, 2023]

mine

my stuff/mystuff

my gif(s)/mygifs

my photo(s)/myphotos

my face/myface

my thing

my life

my post

my video

my words

made by me

queue/queued

upload

reblog/reblogged

reply

request

submission

about/about me

self/selfie

answered

tagged

misc

me

long post

repost

donate

ask to tag

don’t reblog

self reblog

trigger

trigger warning

cw

1k

user

userstream

userveronika

userjessie

usercandy

usertana

userrishi

userrobin

useronce

bbelcher

winterswake

marveladdicts

womenedit

ladiesblr

othedit

dailymlgifs

the winter soldier

alec lightwood

Obviously these are not the only tags that have been banned but they’re the most commonly used for content creators and the least obvious so I wanted to put them right up front to spread awareness.

I’ve been compiling my own comprehensive list of banned tags for the past couple days and was planning to post them, but it looks like someone beat me to the punch and there’s now a whole blog dedicated to collecting them and multiple posts with fairly extensive lists so far! With that in mind, I’m going to continue adding to my list of banned general/fandom tags above, since I feel those are the most important to single out and be aware of, but I’ve decided to forgo posting my own complete list and let @bannedtags​ take over as the primary resource. This is honestly for the best, since with the extreme number of banned tags that currently exist (and still growing!), I’ve come to realize I just do not have the time, energy, or mental health capacity to continue this project right now.

What I would like to offer instead is a bit more information on how these banned tags seem to work and what you can do to mitigate the damage from this disaster of an update.

There are two main types of banned tags:

Softblocked on all platforms – Posts tagged with these words are unsearchable on all browsers and apps but will still appear on your dashboard (as long as you’re not using the iOS app). These seem to be the same tags that have been softblocked since the Original Purge. On the iOS app, these tags are now hardblocked (type #2).

Hardblocked on the iOS app (as of version 22.5.1) – Posts tagged with these words are unsearchable + hidden on iOS dashboards. This applies to both tags on reblogs and original posts. Also, if the OP uses a banned tag, any reblogs will be hidden on all iOS dashboards regardless of the reblogger’s tags.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The new hardblock system ONLY applies to the iOS app. If you’re accessing tumblr via any other browser or app, even Chrome or Safari on iOS, the only ban that directly affects you is the first one.

How do you identify a banned tag and how do you know which type it is? 

The only way to determine if a tag has been banned is to search it. If it’s banned you will generally get one of two results depending on the type. Softblocked tags will appear to be searchable but have no search results (with some sort of cheeky message about not finding anything). Hardblocked tags will display a pop-up saying “This content has been hidden.” There is no way to know if a tag has been hardblocked on iOS without searching for it on the iOS app.

Softblocked on all platforms (+ hardblocked on the iOS app):

Hardblocked only on the iOS app:

This message system is a good rule of thumb but it’s not a 100% foolproof way to know which type is which. The only way to know for sure is to search on both iOS and another browser/app. If the tag displays search results in a browser but not the iOS app then it’s only blocked on iOS.

In addition to the two types, here are the basic “rules” for how all banned tags seem work as of right now, at least that I’ve been able to discern through trial and error since there’s no explanation provided anywhere:

Only tags are searched for banned content. This means you can still write whatever you want in the body of the post without fear of it being blocked.

Sometimes banned words embedded in a longer tag will result in the post being blocked, but not always. This especially seems to be true if the banned word is the first word in the tag. For example, the tag for the movie “single all the way” appears to be banned because it includes the banned word “single”. For this reason, it’s safest to just assume you can’t use a banned word or phrase anywhere in a tag unless you’ve checked it and know for sure it’s safe.

Banned words merged with no spaces are not recognized as banned content unless that specific combination has also been banned. For example, “sugar daddy” is banned but “sugardaddy” is still searchable.

So what can you do if you find out one of the tags you’ve been using regularly is now banned and your old posts are hidden to a large percentage of the userbase?

Luckily there’s an extremely handy website called Mass Tag Replacer that allows you to find and replace any given tag on hundreds of posts in seconds! You do have to give it read/write access to your blog, but you can revoke the access at any time. I’ve used this website for many years and never had any issues with it.

As for how to search a banned tag? The @bannedtags​ blog actually discovered some semi-workarounds: adding apostrophes around the tag (ex: ‘nsft’) or adding a period after the tag (ex: nsft.). I’ve tested this and can confirm that it generally works (at least at the moment), but the results can be spotty. Still, it’s better than nothing!

This whole situation is very new and in a state of flux so I’m going to continue my research and keep this post updated as we learn more.

[shimmershae]

So.  Thanks to my new anonymous friend, this is going to become a thing.

Shae’s thinky thoughts about the latest episode--Acheron:  Part 2--beneath a cut. 

Because spoilers, however vague they might be.  

Let’s be real here.  This is more a stream of consciousness than anything else so if that’s not your thing, you are most welcome to nope right on out of this post.  Trust me.  I’ll completely understand, lol.  Sometimes?  I wish I could nope right on out of my own brain and the way it operates.  

That said?  Without further ado--

Episode 2′s opening, though.  Maggie trapped with hungry Walkers converging?  It totally gives me Glenn under the dumpster vibes.  I don’t know if that was intentional or just happy coincidence but way to link Maggie to her dearly departed better half, show.  

Is it just me or has Father G had more OOMPH to him these last few seasons?  Again, I have to ask--Rosita’s influence or no?  Regardless, I bet Seth Gilliam is loving the job these days.  

Side note:  am I gonna have to go to bed early every Saturday night from now until the end just so I that I might be able to SEE?  Something?  Anything?  My curtains are flimsy-ass.  I admit it.  But this is more frustrating than TXF.  Angela, WTF?  

No, seriously.  It’s like complete guess work who’s in these subway scenes.  Some of that has to do with them being overly populated by redshirts and the rest of it has to do with me having to squint and turn sideways to make out their facial features. 

Look at Daryl busting through concrete walls!  Should I call him the Kool-Aid Man considering NR has once again allowed himself to be led right into a biased, shipper trap?  Hmm.  I might.  

Imagine seeking refuge in those dark, filthy subways.  Any second now I expect to hear the skittering of rats.  Will Dog lose his effing mind a la Divergence?  He’s been shown to go off half-cocked that way, lol.  Oh well.  Guess it’ll be in character if he does.  

Impressive graffiti storyboards.  Does it mean something that it immediately cuts to the Commonwealth storm troopers afterward?  Maybe.  Who really knows at this point?  They been trying to gaslight us forever.  

LOL at Princess yet again.  Yumiko is just like da fuq is this person?  

No, really.  LMAO.  “That was her.  From last night.  Did you see how she was looking at us?”  

Then you have Eugene, hahaha.  “Oh God.  Why did he tell off the big guy?”  Like the man is totally me in this type of situation.  Not even gonna lie.  

“That’s right.  We want to talk to the manager.”  

I literally cannot wait ‘til Carol and Daryl meet Princess.  Can.  Not.  Wait.  

How sad is that note on that $100 bill?  Small moment but it totally gives me Season 4 vibes when they were on their way to Terminus seeking sanctuary.  

Hmm.  Remember how that place wasn’t what they thought it was?  I’m sure neither is the Commonwealth.  But I feel like what’s left of Team Family is totally going to do Rick proud, lol, and prove they’re messing with the wrong people if they try something.  

Daryl, Man.  You gonna have to get a better handle on your headstrong Fur Son.  I wonder if Dog would listen better to his mama?  Things to ponder.  

Sounds like Miko has this group’s number.  Or does she?  

Princess and Eugene totally look like they’re waiting their turn for the Principal’s office, LOL.  

“Stop moving!  You’re taking my nerves over the edge to a proverbial 11 on a scale of 10.”  I feel you, Eugene.  I do.  Also you, Princess.  Two of the most relatable TWD characters right there, I’m telling you.  

Princess is me when I really, really, really have to pee.  TMI?  Sorry, lovelies.  LOL.  I just...she’s so relatable.  

LMAO.  “If that fine ass dude in the orange suit...”  Princess and Mercer incoming in 3-2-----

Princess’s excitement over the toilet paper=PRICELESS.  

Eugene, Man.  You desperately need to develop a poker face.  

There’s Daryl getting another cool camera shot.  Angela?  You playing favorites again?  

Carol’s claustrophobia could have never.  I bet that’s in the back of Pookie’s mind.  You can’t tell me it’s not because Carol lives in there rent-free.  

Ohhh.  Back to the subway car.  Looks like we got the Maggie redshirts leading the way.  First sacrificial “lambs”?  

Maggie pistol-whipping Negan was kinda deserved, but he wasn’t all wrong so.  

Damn.  I’m no Gage fan.  He can fuck all the way off for what he did to my baby Lydia.  But Maggie over there with ice in her veins.  

Yep.  I think the dude just got one of the most gruesome deaths in a while.  Yuck.  

I think Alden’s faith in Maggie definitely took several hits.  I feel like he kind of had her on some sort of pedestal dating back to Hilltop times.  Father G, though?  The man is continuing to show himself a SAVAGE MFer.  

Josh gives Eugene such believable tics and mannerisms.  He IS Eugene.  

Thank you, Maggie, for lighting that flare.  I could not see a damn thing.  

What are these bad memories Negan alludes to?  Hmm?  Him being a shit husband to Lucille back when he was still taking her for granted?  

Father G on Gage’s Walker--”All that is, is a shell of a man, who died a coward.”  Kind of ironic considering Father G’s own origins, huh?  Has he any warmth in there for anybody but Rosita and Coco?  Does he equate it with weakness?  

“There are worse ways.”  And Maggie proceeds to paint us a horror story with mere words.  

Dark Maggie really surpasses anything certain fans have ever accused Carol of being.  Is she too far gone?  Who the hell knows?  I think it’s clear that she and Carol are both on a sliding scale of sorts when it comes to being able to compartmentalize shit to survive.  Personally?  I feel like Maggie might have leap-frogged Carol in this episode but it matters none because of the double standards so deeply entrenched in this fandom.  Both women have endured and had to do some horrific things.  It’s not a contest.  But it’s probably going to be turned into a season-long one.  

It’s almost like Kang was like, “Ya’ll bitches think Carol’s dark?  I’ll show you DARK.  Check and mate.”  

Whatever the reasoning, Maggie just got exponentially more interesting to me if not likable.  And before anybody out there comes at me, it’s entirely possible to be on a character’s side in some things and not be all up their ass in love with them, lol.  Like I’m attached to her because she’s family and Glenn loved her.  There’s a loyalty there and she absolutely is justified in her hatred of Negan.  But I’m not going to pretend her shit don’t stink like everybody else’s.  

Speaking of my baby Glenn.  What would he think of this version of Maggie?  I think he would be gutted and heart stricken that events led to her being like this but he’d understand because he’s pure like that.  Don’t mean he’d be A-OK with it all.  

Dog must be protected at all costs.  

Confession.  I know not the fuck who Pony Boy is, but I know him because all my fandom friends have pointed him out to me, lol.  RIP, Man.  I think you’re number’s up or close to it.  

Okay, though.  I admit it.  I am kinda LOVING Badass Father G.  

That scene in the subway car with all of them working to take all the Walkers out was already badass.  Then Daryl arrived and made it, in @freefromthecocoon’s words, HAWT.  LOL.  

Eugene staring at that little black book like it contains torture tools, hehehe.  

“Processed?  As in administratively?  Processed as in bologna or other meat stuffs?  This inquiring (enquiring?) mind needs to know.”  OMG, Eugene.  I admit it.  Even if it makes me look like a lunatic, LOL.  I straight up LMAO at that one.  I mean, ten years later and Terminus still fresh on the man’s mind.  

“You like feeling nervous?”  Well, no.  None of us that do, Mercer?  Do.  

Then he proceeds to make me howl with his “You can’t lie for shit” to Eugene.  

Josh McDermitt?  I love you, Man.  40 year old virgin, LOL.  

All this talk over the seasons of Daryl’s virginity and we have Eugene, hahaha.  But was he telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  

Finally.  Some daylight.  Where I can see.  

Eugene’s relief at seeing his friends safe and sound was such a beautiful thing to see.  I loved those hugs.  

Mercer’s face when he snarled “beat cop” in disdain to Ezekiel.  I think I’m gonna love this dude.  

“I went to West Point.  Asshole.”  Yeah.  I am.  

I know they probably catfishing Eugene right here because spoilers tell us that ain’t Stephanie.  But my heart still did a little d’aww.  Angela.  Don’t play with his poor heart like that.  

What’s got Daryl so pensive, huh?  Is it that the note reminds him of kids being lost or taken from their family? Or separated from their family?  Is he thinking of those Grimes babies and wondering if Michonne will ever make it back and why and how she was able to leave them behind?  Tell me it ain’t that Find Me nonsense.  

“This place sure has gone to shit since the last time I was here.”  LMAO, JDM.  I mean Negan.  Sorry.  Sorry.  I still hate Negan, but JDM has me entertained at least since they gave the asshole some shades of gray.  And speaking of shades of gray.  I’m loving the gray beard.  JDM’s looking GOOD (hear that NR?  Embrace the gray).  Negan can still kick rocks, lol.  

Anyway.  That scene was CREEPY AF.  Not even gonna lie.  

The Reapers strutting right on up to our group like it’s The Purge:  ZA.  

My bad, Pony Boy. Now RIP.  

Dark, dark episode with loads of tension broken up by some welcome humor by Princess.  The girl is fast becoming a fave of mine.  

My baby’s back next week!!!

I’m just going to plug my ears and pretend they’re trying to capture/recapture the horses because they’re pets.  Not because they’re starving so bad they feel the need to eat them.  La la la la la.  I can’t hear you.  

[ranawaytothedas]

I noticed something pretty shocking/amusing last night, as much I have said I haven’t written much of anything at all through this Blight like situation we are living through...

the truth is I have, in fact, written a lot. 

The problem with is most of it isn’t ever going to see the light of day.... more than likely. 

The fact of the matter is I write a lot of random little drabbles for myself, something I didn’t even really notice just how much I did, that help me work on dynamics, plot points, getting people’s voices and mannerisms right. I think they are throw away peices because they aren’t really going to be part of the story I am crafting, but these ‘throw away wips” I have are honestly the most vital part of my writing...

This all came about because my google drive is an actual chaotic mess... and I was trying clean up my drive (I have been cleaning out my house and purging a lot of old things so I wanted to do the same to my digital life.. *save like donatable clothes, kids clothes and toys which are being saved for me to find family shelter to donate that will take them right now...I am not throwing out things that a family could need). But I would say 3/4 of my google drive is just random drabbles, little half finished story point ideas, 8 versions of outlines for the same story I have been trying to flush out for over 5 years (not DA related but... it is also a mooooood). I was honestly shocked at how much plotting, planning, writing, rewriting, abandoned plotlines, and like soooo much I have actually written for Maeve... it’s a lot... a lot of stuff I don’t think anyone is ever going to see. Then... there were the notebooks I found scattered through my house (I found one in a kitchen drawer...lol) filled with world building notes, lore I have been writing and more outlines than I had thought I had never actually finished for Maeve...

And for the first time... I am okay with that and see I do write a lot... just nothing ready for publishing yet.

Writing is a process, writing is not “publishing”. While yes the end goal of a lot of writing is, in fact, for other people to read the story... you can not measure yourself as a writer against how much work you manage to publish. It’s how happy are you with the quality of the pieces that you do manage to publish.. which i am. Even if they have like few or no comments and kudos on AO3... I have honestly given up on getting any kind of input/feedback on my writing at this point save my few friends... because at the end of the day. I am pleased with what I have written thus far.

If anything, this whole situation in the world has made me become more forgiving to myself in this respect. 

I write something extremely niche, not everyone is going to want to read it and few people that do read it are going to actually comment and coming from a fandom where I got a lot of feedback this was hard...considering I consider a lot of that work fairly inferior and with problematic themes (but I don’t delete because I own my past...) this was hard adjustment. Now... now I kinda have stopped caring if I am honest.

It’s not that I don’t want people to read, like, comment ect... I do... that’s like a drug for writers. It’s more... I don’t want to write for other people’s approval constantly and then get heartbroken when I get none... it’s soul crushing and has nearly pushed me away from this fandom several times. So why do it? Why take all this time to write a story that I was toning down some aspects for the sake of “hoping” to get readers...when chances are few people are going to actually get invested. Why not just tell the story the way I want to tell it, write it in the way I want to and enjoy the process...rather the growing to dread it...

So yeah.... this was a long way to say I am changing Maeve’s canon around a bit, the OT3 will still be a thing but I was not liking how it was coming about I was running into massive plot holes in my own story that could not be fixed simply. I think the changes will make the story stronger, more believable and in my opinion... probably a healthier dynamic for the OT3 in a the long run... it’s still not going to be sunshine and rainbows but I am excited about the changes... 

[spnfanficpond]

October 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting with @evansrogerskitten tonight! Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your wisdom!

Today, we got together and talked about writing smut! We discussed the legalities around sharing smut on the internet, vocabulary choices, created a spreadsheet of terms we can all share and use, and encouraged each other to not be afraid to just write. A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut. Due to the nature of the chat, there may be some parts of this recap that might be considered NSFW. 

To start us off, @mrswhozeewhatsiswrites shared some research into the legalities of posting erotica on the internet as it relates to minors. (We are not legal experts. This information was obtained through Google searches. If anyone can provide links to sources that contradict these, we will add them to this post to ensure the most correct information is provided here.)

Michelle: To try and keep it short and sweet, from everything I read, if a minor reads smut online, it's not the writer's, poster's, or web site's responsibility to keep it from them. It is the parent's, or the school's/library's responsibility. (Basically, whoever is providing the internet connection to the minor is responsible for filtering out content that might be harmful to that minor, not the parties creating or disseminating that content online.) Schools and libraries and other institutions that get government funds are usually required to have some sort of filter in place to prevent minors from accessing porn and erotica. 

What makes this so difficult to research is that written erotica is not mentioned very often in obscenity laws. Most laws focus on images or videos, not the written word. 

No matter what it is, though, to be prosecuted under obscenity laws, the material must first be ruled to be obscene. Legally, there is a difference between obscenity and erotica. Obscenity is generally illegal, and erotica is protected speech. There are many different sets of rules and guidelines that have been used to determine if something is considered obscene or not. The most widely used current set of guidelines is the Miller test. From my research, most (if not all) erotic fan fiction would not be considered obscene because of its ‘literary, artistic, political, or scientific value’.

Some interesting links in relation to this subject that go into detail:

Wikipedia - US Obscenity Law - About halfway down, there is a section on non image-based obscenity cases in the US. The first part of this section, which deals with the written word, is very enlightening about the differences between obscenity and erotica. Further down is a section about criticism of the laws which shows some of the gaps in the law where free speech lives. Continuing on, the section about censorship in schools and libraries explains the part CIPA (Children’s Internet Protection Act) plays in protecting minors from material that could be considered harmful to them.

Online Art Rights - Sexual Content - This site details the many attempts at limiting indecent material on the internet through the years. (Scroll down and click on the plus signs in the black bars to expand each section.) In each case cited, the court ruled that to ban all objectionable material would interfere with free speech because it would reduce all content to a level appropriate for children. They also concluded that since less restrictive means exist, such as user-controlled filters and the like, those tools can be used without reducing all discourse on the internet. The section on Child Pornography at the bottom might be of interest to anyone who writes Weecest smut, though.

The only possible exception that I think would affect the SPN fandom would be those who write Weecest smut. Child pornography seems to be the exception to every rule that protects free speech. Where every other depiction of a sex act might have a ‘but’ that makes it erotica (and therefore legal) instead of obscenity, child pornography in any medium is considered obscenity. Anything that even just looks like child porn is considered child porn, even if no children were a part of the making of it. This includes cartoons and CGI and adults made up to look like kids. If it’s advertised as children in a sexual situation, it’s child porn. So, I imagine it could extend to written erotica IF someone were to decide to push it.

Now, that’s a huge if. Someone would have to read it, object to it, and insist on prosecution for it. I think if that were going to happen, given 15 years of SPN fan fiction, it would have happened by now. But I would still keep my Weecest smut-free, or implied, or at least over the age of consent (which varies, so 18 is just easiest to use). 

Also, AO3 complies with the laws regarding filtering for minors. If you do not have an account, you are required to click through a step that tells you that you are about to view something explicit. That's really all that sites and such are required to do. Hence, Tumblr making you click through and view on dash blogs they mark as explicit.

@emilyshurley I think there might also be a sorta solution just to play it safe. I saw that people who make mods for games like Sims 4 and stuff have a page for terms of download. What that is is that if you click their masterlist it will take you to a post where they list their conditions and have the words "I agree" and link the actual masterlist to that. Now this might take a little effort but we could add something similar before our masterlists.

This is all legal stuff, not site-specific rules. Each site can implement their own decency rules and enforce them how they see fit. For example, Tumblr, as a company, can decide to delete your blog. (They’ve stopped doing this since The Purge, now just marking each blog explicit and making you click on a couple things to get to those blogs they deem explicit.) Should they choose to do this, it does not mean that you’re in trouble with the law.

Now, onto the fun stuff!

Q: What is the first thing you think of when someone asks you for advice about writing smut?

Ash: Word choice- don't make the reader cringe. It's easy to fall into that because smut can be graceful and tasteful if it's done right. And that starts with thinking through word choice and how the scene is flowing. It's not easy to write smut! I think a lot of non-writer readers do not realize that.

Note: During the chat, we created a Google Sheets spreadsheet, with two sheets in it, with lists of words to use to refer to different things when you’re writing smut. The first sheet is Good Words, and the second sheet is Bad Words. Everyone can enter words they like and don’t like on both sheets, and we’ll crowd-source this problem! Check it out and add your favorites!

Michelle: A smut scene takes ten times as long for me to write as anything else. Just keeping track of limbs is difficult! And clothing....sometimes, I just make them dry hump so I don't have to deal with removing all the clothing! Other times, it's just, "Somehow, you suddenly found yourself naked." Like, there's a million great ways to get characters naked, but if I'm tired, angels snap.

@fictionalabyss (Mel): I've read stuff where a position makes no sense and it ruins the whole thing for me. Michelle: I actually bought a couple of those posable dolls from IKEA. (IKEA - GESTALTA, Artist’s figure)  @babypieandwhiskey (Cam): I’ll have to use my daughter’s old Barbie dolls! I can keep track of both limbs and clothing!

Q: Ash, what are a few of the words that turn you off when you're reading smut?

Ash: It's usually words that sound so "romance novel"-ish to me. So "turgid member" is a good example. Please no one ever write that. Mel: Sometimes, keeping it simple is the safest and best bet. Ash: Absolutely, Mel! Sometimes we don't need all the extra words if we're showing the heat that's already there between them. 

[What followed was a long discussion of various terms you definitely should not use in serious smut. They’ve all been added to the spreadsheet linked above, so fee free to check it out.]

Michelle: EVERYONE has those words that squick them, and it's damn near impossible to write a smut scene that doesn't include a word that will squick someone out there. So, don't stress about what words you do or don't use, cuz there's always gonna be someone out there who doesn't like something. Just make sure YOU think what you're writing is hot. If you don't get warm under the collar from it, no one else will, either. Ash: I highly recommend everyone is reading their fics out loud to see how it all flows. You'll catch errors and weird words there too.

Q: Ash, how do you get in the frame of mind to write something you personally have never experienced? For example, certain kinks.

Ash: Whiskey? LOL No, I do a lot of research- google, porn, erotica. Trying something out in person helps too! But we're writing fiction. You can make a kink work for your scenario too.I mean, I've written a reader squirting after 5 minutes to move things along but we all know it takes longer usually. And that's the fun! I've never actually been with 2 dudes but I f-ing love writing it. @atc74 (Angelina): I've always said I don't need to kill someone to write a murder scene. Ash: Smut is all about having an open mind. It lets us and the readers be someone else. 

Question submitted earlier by @erins-culinary-service: I've wanted to try writing smut but never known exactly how to start and what words to use to describe everything. I've had sex so I know the sensations, positions, etc I'm just not sure how to write it all down any advice?

Ash: So sometimes I can't just start from "they kissed..." I start wherever I can see it best. So is it oral sex, or already doing it, I just jump in. And then I come back and fill it in. And I just write, no stopping once I get going. So the "cock into her hole" can be fixed later on my next edit. I just gotta get the idea out and then go back and make it hot. My smut is never hot in my first draft.  Michelle: I think that's what stops a lot of writers, is thinking they have to publish their first draft. Editing is totally a thing. Just get the ideas on paper, and then make them hot later. Ash: Oh yeah, I go through at least 3 drafts per fic. Plus my beta version. Yeah, no one is ever going to see your drafts so don't worry about starting somewhere, anywhere.  Michelle: And remember, practice practice practice - As with any writing, the more you write it, the easier it becomes. I wrote Third Wheel as a way to challenge myself with writing smut. Do a kink bingo or alphabet challenge. Just remember, you’re gonna write crap at the start, but crap makes good compost. Ash: Taking some time between edits is important too. It'll help you see different ways, AND you'll start having breakthroughs during the time away. Bingos are a great challenge that will help a writer grow.  Cam: Writing smut is like sex, you're first time is going to be awkward and things won't be perfect, but with practice it gets better. Mel: I have a series that shows even the millionth time having sex isn't perfect and can be all laughs 🤣. But yeah.

Question submitted earlier by @focusonspn: i wanted to know about ways and words to describe orgasms and how to approach the moment after it without being awkward or forced. some people say those are the easiest things to write, but somehow i always have a hard moment trying to write them.

Ash: Hmmmm, as for the moments after- that's understandable, it is hard because its a transition. I think it's doesn't have to be an extended part of it- unless they're about to have a talk or aftercare needs a scene, it can be as simple as "we drifted off to sleep." Michelle: As always, my advice is to read smut that other people write that you like, and take note of what they do. Mel: Someone can get up and get dressed and leave. They can play in the fluids. They can lay there catching their breaths for a moment. It can be simple. Sometimes it doesn't need a flourish and that flourish can make it seem forced. Michelle: I think it depends on what type of smut fic you're writing. Is it fluffy smut where they're all in LOVE and kissy and stuff? Or is it Soulless Sam and Demon Dean just getting down and dirty and claiming you for themselves? Or, Soulless Sam or Demon Dean just getting their rocks off and they don't give a shit? @emilyshurley (Emily): Also this might be my f*cked up brain but I think if someone is not comfortable with a lot of fluffy buildup to smut trying soulless!Sam or Demon!Dean could be a great start. You also have a little room to do a little out of character.  Michelle: We are blessed with a world that includes all types of characters and all types of situations, from curses (sex pollen, love potions, etc) to supernatural beings, to inspire and give us chances to write all kinds of smut. There are no limits to what you can do in Supernatural, so there are no limits to what we can write.  Ash: Yeah we can really make most kinks work in some way in the SPN worlds.  Emily: Also again with going out of character I read a captain America fic where it could have been a little out of character how he jumped straight to sex (someone commented that) but sex pollen made it work. So basically these tropes/kinks can also be good devices for writing NSFW fics to if you struggle to get the characters write in the beginning.

Other links mentioned:

Emily: I saw this advice list on Tumblr, so thought I should share it: List of Smut Writing Guides

Ash: This one, too: @smut-101′s Smut Tips Masterlist 

And last, but definitely not least...

Ash: Always, always, always write for you. Readers come and go but you have to be satisfied and proud of what you've written. And everyone should get so much credit for trying to write smut. It's difficult but its does get easier and more fun with practice!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

Say hi to September’s New Members!

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We don’t have a topic or speaker set up for November’s event, yet, so if there’s something you want to talk about, or someone you want to talk to, LET US KNOW!

[its-love-u-asshole]

Twelve Hours [Ch. 9]

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou has dealt with a lot since he was eighteen, each year bringing the same depressing challenges on the same depressing night. He expects this time to be no different, but the universe is trying desperately to prove him wrong in the most bizarre ways imaginable. So screw it, Kuroo’s only choice is to buckle in and hope he doesn’t die. Easy enough. And hey, with some new allies at his side, maybe he has a chance. Who knows? At least Kuroo is sure of one thing in life when it comes to March 15th, and he stands by this unwritten law, no matter what happens:

If you try to kill pizza delivery boys on Purge Night, you’re irrevocably a bitch.

Rating: T

Tags: Purge AU, mentions of violence but nothing graphic or too bad, no character deaths here okay, this is borderline crack and idk what I was thinking, first meetings, other characters, shenanigans and just…a lot of fun (it seems angsty but its not)

Note: I realized just now as I was looking through authors notes that I forgot to say this fic was almost over last time so...NOW YA KNOW LOL. Okay but seriously I can't believe I'm so close to finishing another multichapter for this fandom, it's the most I've ever done for just one, and just...wow? thanks so much to everyone for all your support! ALSO if you don't know what postmates is, it's a food delivery service lol. Big thanks to @emeraldwaves for reading this over!

Read on AO3!

Something about seeing the streetlights in the distance made a chill climb up Kuroo's back, and it sat there, like he was frozen in time and unable to shake the feeling of being cold, inside and out.

No one had to ask where they were.

The steady disappearance of corner stores and graffiti gave way to fancy buildings and grocery stores Kuroo wouldn't even think of setting foot in. High end stores, neat landscaping...they all faded away too eventually, the invisible gates of suburbia not offering the slightest bit of comfort. They looked like nice, cozy homes, but looks were always deceiving in Kuroo's mind. Everything felt empty.

Were these homes even lived in? Were those tacky doormats and flags just staged?

If he didn't know any better, he'd say they'd wandered onto a nuclear testing plot, set to be demolished at a moment's notice.

That's how ghostly the houses stared back at him, passing by as Tsukishima drove. Blurs.

Then it ceased. Tsukishima pulled over and cut the engine, gravel crunching under tires which had seen better days, and the sharp noise echoed into the darkness. The whole car exhaled as they stared on ahead, and Kuroo glanced at the nearest street sign.

Polished and clean, unlike the faded and rusty ones by the pizza parlor.

West Elm.

Kuroo's hand fisted into his seat, and he stared forward too, but not at the homes.

No, he waited for his orders, from the two people at the front of all this, people he now trusted with everything he had.

Tsukishima cut the lights, letting the car get eaten up by the shadows of the night sky.

Terushima's shaky breathing filled the space as he looked between the windshield and Tsukishima, like he'd missed a step in their plan. "Why'd you stop?" he asked, his voice dry and thick with nerves. The rest of the car flinched, like even from this distance they'd be detected.

"There will be guards," Tsukishima muttered, like he was distracted, and Kuroo understood then. Tsukishima was forming a plan, and he bet the blond's eyes were already scanning the perimeter. "Not many. The gates are intimidating enough, and this area isn't exactly easy to rob. But still, we have to be careful."

Not to mention the individual home security systems...

"Can't we just say we're with Postmates?" Yamamoto offered, his voice booming with an attitude unbefitting of the atmosphere. Kuroo was about ready to throw him out of the car.

Some would argue the poorly timed comedic attempts which had plagued their voyage were good for dissolving tension. Kuroo didn't know if he believed that anymore.

"Why the fuck would we be with Postmates?" Terushima hissed before Kuroo could, his head resting against the glass of his window. Maybe he was contemplating smashing his head through it.

"I dunno, we're like...five hours late?"

Suga squinted. "Er...how does that relate...exactly?"

Yamamoto huffed a laugh, and actually...Kuroo couldn't argue with his point. "You've obviously never used Postmates."

"Okay," Tsukishima said, far more patient than Kuroo expected. "You're right, but...shut up."

"Sure."

"I mean I am dressed up as a delivery guy," Kuroo offered, but even he knew that was farfetched. He didn't have a pizza, first off, and he was pretty sure rich people wouldn't be ordering from their Purge Specials Menu.

He could hear Matsukawa's voice in his head. "Bleeding from the waist down? Don't let your wallet suffer along with you. Two large pies for half off!"

Kuroo couldn't wait to quit his job.

He'd mostly been joking about the 80s detective level plan, but then Tsukishima's eyes were on him, assessing him up and down.

Kuroo would never be over that gaze, not for the rest of his life, and he was confident it would be for the rest of his life. It felt like Tsukishima could pick him apart right there, analyzing mechanics and skills Kuroo didn't even know he had.

It was exhilarating, but nerve-wracking, especially given their new...relationship.

"Babe, I don't know if this is the time for bedroom eyes," Kuroo tried to jest, but his laugh just came out dry and unconvincing. Tsukishima paused in his examination, his eyes widening cutely before he rolled his eyes, but the fondness there didn't help Kuroo's breathing situation.

"You two are disgusting," Futakuchi muttered, but watched Tsukishima anyways. At this point, everyone knew when the blond had an idea, and they were all too happy to help.

"Don't worry, I need him with his clothes on," Tsukishima said, opening his door in the brave yet reckless fashion which had Kuroo swooning. The next words were just condemning him further to death. "...today."

Listen. Kuroo promised he'd never die during the Purge, but this...this was too much.

Actually no, Tsukishima's small smile at Kuroo's stupid grin was too much. Way too much.

Futakuchi sank further into his seat. "Like I said..."

"H-hey, what are you doing?" Kuroo asked when Tsukishima opened his door, beckoning him out.

Kuroo did as he was told though, because who was he to argue?

"It's what you're doing actually," Tsukishima said, and then his eyes were back on the road, scanning it until he found a parked car, luckily undisturbed. "You're going to be our distraction."

Then, before Kuroo could ask, Tsukishima was undoing his bulletproof vest.

Kuroo's hands immediately flew up to stop the blond's quick fingers, keeping him locked in place. For a moment, he didn't care about the plan, or his role in it. There was no way in hell he was letting this happen.

At least Kuroo could say he had some edge on the blond, with how Tsukishima struggled in his hold. Kuroo was thankful he'd never let himself go after college.

"Kuroo--"

"No," Kuroo said, and Tsukishima flinched at the seriousness of it. Honestly, so did Kuroo. But if he could have anything go his way, it would be this. He would not let Tsukishima take off that vest. "I don't care what I have to do, I don't need it."

I need you though, I need you safe. We all do.

Tsukishima's pout wasn't adorable enough to make Kuroo waver either, nor was the misty look in his eyes. "Kuroo...if you go up to those guards and they decide not to show mercy--"

"Hey, I've gotten out of stickier situations before," Kuroo said, trying his best to form the cocky smirk from when he'd initially left his friends at the parlor. At Tsukishima's look of disbelief, Kuroo's grip on the blond's hands tightened. "Kei, trust me. I'm not bullshitting you, I would never. I can do this, I'll be fine."

Tsukishima stared for what felt like ages, and Kuroo didn't rush his response. They both knew it wasn't a guarantee, but Kuroo was asking Tsukishima to trust him again. It hadn't let them down yet, had it?

A moment passed before Tsukishima's trembling fingers gently pulled away from Kuroo's grip, refastening the vest securely around his torso. Kuroo sighed, and he hoped Tsukishima felt the depths of his relief.

Thank you.

Tsukishima nodded, but his scowl pinned Kuroo to the spot, merciless. "I'm holding you to that, understand?"

Kuroo nodded. He had a lot to live for still anyways, first kiss included. "You ready?"

It wasn't their mission, but he had to ask.

He and Tsukishima had become the watchdogs, and they still had things to see through. Their jobs weren't over until Terushima was in that house, face to face with the man who had wronged his family.

Tsukishima nodded; he knew. This might've not been the way their night was meant to go, but they weren't backing down now.

The blond glanced into the van as Kuroo turned to face the same direction, meeting the concerned gazes of the group he'd come to respect, even through their terrible jokes and poor timing.

They would make it, they had to.

And he was pleased to say they looked about as ready as he and Tsukishima did.

No more detours, no more holding back. Decision time had arrived.

Tsukishima breathed in, his exhale long and suffering, just the right amount of done to make everyone crack a smile. "Alright, here's what we're going to do."

--

Another fact about Tsukishima: he could hotwire a car.

No one had been particularly surprised. Tsukishima was a mechanic's son, but Suga still muttered about ice cream machines for a good five minutes while Tsukishima discussed the plan with Kuroo.

Now, Kuroo was here, in a stolen car which smelled too much like cigarettes and peppermint candy, the kind which would stain his clothes. It was probably the least concerning thing about his situation, but sue him.

He hated smelling like smoke.

Then of course, he remembered Tsukishima's words

"Better than smelling like gunfire."

Right.

Kuroo should focus, especially when he was a mere few feet away from two huge dudes with machine guns.

Uncalled for, honestly.

"I already told you, this is West Elm," one of the guards repeated, and oh...the cosmic irony. "Elm is on the other side of the city."

Kuroo winced, drawing it out as long as possible, and he swore he saw the guy's eye twitch.

"That's not what my GPS says. Hate these things..." Kuroo mumbled, shaking his head as he messed with his phone. He really hoped he'd be relieved of his duty soon, because anymore of this and he'd get shot. "And you're sure about that? Like 100%? This pizza is really late."

The guard took a step forward, and it was not an appeasing stance. Kuroo's hand went to his gun as subtly as possible, ready to peel out of there if he had to. He promised Tsukishima he wouldn't try to handle it on his own, but...

The guard reached for his gun as well, eyes narrowing. "Sir, if you don't leave, I'm going to have to--"

One kick to the back of the legs, and a brick to the head later, and he was down. Where Suga got the brick, Kuroo wouldn't question; his eyes flew to the other guard, but before he even had a chance to move, he was lying on the floor too.

Both of them out cold, in the blink of an eye.

Tsukishima hadn't needed a brick though, just a rag dabbed with chloroform, and a steady grip.

Was it too early for Kuroo confess his love?

Tsukishima tossed the rag away, disgusted, before he was by Kuroo's car window, peering in. Kuroo cut the engine immediately, not risking the extra noise. Besides, the old purr of the car made it harder to hear Tsukishima's voice. "Are you okay?"

"Not a scratch on me," Kuroo said with a smirk, and Tsukishima sighed, shoulders slumping.

"Oh my god!" Suga said from behind them, and Tsukishima turned around, giving Kuroo a full glimpse as Suga looked at the two bodies on the concrete. His arms were still hanging in the air from where he'd grabbed the guy, and he dropped his brick from the shock, frantically staring between the two. "Did you see that? I did the thing!"

Tsukishima snorted, ducking his head as Kuroo nodded in appreciation. "You sure did."

As dangerous as that situation had been, looking on the bright side was their only option. It summed up the whole night in Kuroo's opinion.

Maybe they'd become too desensitized; at the start, Kuroo wished they'd stay the same, instead of falling into the pit he and Tsukishima resided in.

But well, he and Tsukishima had grown out of it in their own way too, and it was naive to think any of them would stay the same, even after only one night.

Kuroo smiled, even as his eyes drifted to Terushima's lone figure as it stood in front of the gate.

No one approached him, not even Futakuchi. From here on, it was Terushima's call.

Yet, it didn't stop them all from worrying, or from thinking their own, selfish thoughts for possibly the last time.

Parents, friends, regrets.

Kuroo just looked at Tsukishima, and Tsukishima's hand came to curl around his.

In a way, it was liberating, no matter how the night went. They'd fulfilled their impulse of a promise, had forced themselves to remember their past selves and the things they'd valued, while also acknowledging that a lot of those traits would never return.

For Tsukishima, it must've been deja vu to the worst night of his life, but he'd answered the universe's call in that respect. He made sure not to leave Terushima to fend off the night without a guide.

And Kuroo...

Kuroo hated the Purge as much as he always had, no getting around it. But he liked himself a little more, respected himself, and felt like he'd at least started the journey down a new path.

It was enough.

Above all, they had each other. They'd had each other for at least one night.

With that in mind, Kuroo didn't feel dread when Terushima turned around, eyes as alive and serious as a burning brush fire, consuming and merciless to everything in their path.

He looked to his friends just as their heads raised; after all, he'd taken them out here, had promised them they'd make it. This was his way of making good on that promise, of saying his thanks in more than one way.

They nodded back, and Kuroo knew it was time to get moving.

Terushima opened the gate.

"Let's go."

--

They pulled the car up to the side of the gate, close enough so a quick getaway would be possible. But they crossed the last leg of their journey, a distance spanning two houses, with heavy feet instead, silent steps carrying them until they planted themselves on the crisp cut lawn.

Dr. Takahashi certainly lived well, a thought which Kuroo knew Terushima wouldn't take sitting down. The leader's shoulders were tense, and Kuroo wasn't used to seeing him hold a gun at his side, poised to attack.

Kuroo looked away, but not from disappointment or nerves. It was inappropriate maybe, to marvel at the columned architecture of the home, the way the dew sat on the grass like it would any other day.

Nature didn't care about what was about to happen, about the way they disabled the door alarms and made their way into the house. Apart from their intentions, it felt like every other day for these people.

Clean, safe, warm.

Kuroo almost envied them, but then again...no, he was happy with what he had. The only thing he lacked happened to be the lack of concern and caution.

It would've benefited Dr. Takahashi to inherit some of Kuroo's anxiety. Maybe then, he wouldn't be sleeping so soundly in his bedroom as Terushima slipped through the front door.

Kuroo never slept anymore, and he nearly rolled his eyes as he stepped onto the porch, eyeing the cheesy slogans and garden gnomes plastered around fake planters.

A 'Best Doctor Ever' flag was buried in the artificial mulch, and Kuroo took it out in an instant, throwing it as far as he could.

No one questioned him.

Tsukishima held the door open for him, waiting, and not daring to speak.

Right, they had to go. Terushima needed them.

Turning around, Kuroo nodded to Suga, Futakuchi, and Yamamoto, who knew their job already. They stayed on the lawn as lookouts, hidden in the shadows despite the way Futakuchi rocked on the heels of his feet.

They wanted to go with Terushima; surely they knew his mother, had some less than kind words for the doctor as well, but...

Kuroo exhaled as Tsukishima pulled him into the house, those honey eyes telling him to not worry about it. They all knew their place.

Suga smiled encouragingly at him, and Kuroo finally acknowledged that Tsukishima and himself were who Terushima truly needed in this situation. His friends had taken him as far as they could, and they'd gladly be there in the aftermath.

Kuroo smiled back, and then clicked the door shut on the outside world, but the lawlessness still filled the air.

Thankfully, the sleek hardwood floor didn't make any noise as they walked through the living room. The home was an even more decked out version of Tsukishima's, and twice as customized. The furniture looked new, as if from a store window, the chandelier glistened even in the dark. Certificates and awards lined the wall high bookcases, but the lack of photos containing family or friends spoke volumes. It was another mask, a look into the wealth and prestige of a man who cared about little else.

Even the railing of the long spiral staircase with the handcrafted spindles didn't impress Kuroo, knowing all that.

But there were no signs of weapons, not even an interior camera or locks to each individual room. The doctor hadn't even bothered to put anything away.

Easier for them, Kuroo guessed, and he found himself thankful for the lack of concern Dr. Takahashi had after all.

Seeing all he needed to, he faced forward, just as Terushima opened the master bedroom.

Everyone looked peaceful and innocent when they were asleep.

Kuroo looked to Terushima and Tsukishima, expecting the same shock, but found no trace of it. The stone faces persisted, void of sympathy. Tsukishima had stood in this position before, so he wasn't so naive anymore.

But Terushima...

The anger in his eyes just told Kuroo how ready he was to face this, and a bit of twisted pride came from that.

Kuroo also realized that up until this point, things had seemed so disjointed and slow, like they were walking on the border of reality and peering in. It took one glance at Terushima to remember they existed; this was real, and there was no going back.

Without finesse or ceremony, Terushima hit the end of his gun against the nearest surface, jolting Takahashi awake.

He sat up in an instant, his eyes blinking through the haze of sleep to reach over to his nightstand. Before he could even get close, Tsukishima shot the handle of it, discouraging any further attempts.

A split second, and then everything froze again.

Takahashi pulled back slowly, hands raised, trembling. "W-what do you want?"

His voice was small, but comforting. No wonder he was so easy to trust. Coupled with the respected gentleman act...

People like Terushima's mom hadn't stood a chance.

Somehow, it made Kuroo's anger grow, but he stood still and silent.

"I-If it's money you want, there's a safe downstairs, I'll give you the code just...please," the doctor stammered out, and when Terushima took a step towards the bed, he flinched.

His shoulders still trembled, half his face concealed by the darkness, but Kuroo could sense the coldness there. If only this was about money.

"Get on the floor," Terushima said, devoid of hesitation or a trace of a threat.

A simple order, said just above a whisper, and yet Takahashi listened. He lowered himself from his plush comforter until his knees hit the cold hardwood, his joints and bones cracking from the unexpected movement.

"Who are you?" Takahashi asked, and Terushima stepped closer, his glare deep enough to rival Tsukishima's. Actually, it would probably win.

Had Terushima's breathing always been that loud?

Kuroo had barely noticed it, how well Terushima was keeping all his rage and emotions back.

The leader asked one question, the only question that really mattered. "Terushima. Sound familiar?"

'It better,' went unsaid.

Takahashi squinted, running the name through his ears and his mind. Terushima.

The look of confusion had Tsukishima grabbing Kuroo's wrist, as if he might lunge at the guy himself.

But when it clicked, it showed. The doctor's eyes widened, and he cowered some more, like any show of fear prior to this had been an act. This time, he seemed frantic, scooting until he hit the wall, his gaze leaping to the window. Too far up to jump out that way.

Terushima couldn't take it.

He snapped, raising his gun without prompting, his glare turning into a snarl. "That's right, you son of a bitch. You know exactly who I am! Why I'm here--you--"

Takahashi tried to fumble, shaking his head, and Kuroo felt Tsukishima's nails dig into his skin. The doctor's panic was as good as any admission of guilt. "Please you--you don't understand, what happened was an acc--"

"Don't you dare tell me it was an accident! What, you tripped and all of a sudden my mom's money was gone?" Terushima accused, his laugh humorless. He'd begun to shake more, but even with poor aim, Takahashi would be hit.

Terushima's words spilled out in a panic, like he'd never gotten to properly vent; he'd saved all his rawness for this moment, unbothered by the mistiness in his eyes or the tremble in his tone. "She...she trusted you! I trusted you! All those appointments and advice...she thought you were helping her."

Kuroo could imagine. When he'd been a highschooler, he'd been right by his grandmother's side through every checkup, every clinic visit. Worried, caring, but above all, hanging onto the doctor's words like they were the word of God.

This guy was no doctor.

"I tried, I tried to help!" Takahashi claimed, ducking his head as a scowl formed on his face. He liked to play the victim, they all did. No once had an apology slipped from his lips.

"No, you didn't, you only wanted to help yourself!"

"It just didn't pan out for her," Takahashi threw back in Terushima's face, fishing for an excuse which might stick. "There was nothing--"

"Because of you! You planned it that way, admit it!" Terushima stepped closer, as if to show he as serious. That gun certainly wasn't fake, Takahashi had to know that at least.

"Watch your mouth!" The doctor hissed, resigned to his situation. Kuroo didn't want to see his true colors for once, didn't want confirmation that people were really this awful, though he'd seen it plenty of times. "I'm a respected member of this community, your mother knew that."

"And look where it got her, heh," Terushima replied, cold as ice. "In fact, look where it's gotten you."

He raised the gun higher, and Takahashi flinched, his scowl growing. His desperation had left, melting off to expose his real nature. The 'Do no harm' mug sitting by his bedside also deserved to be smashed. "You...you little shit, if your mom hadn't been so concerned about you, she wouldn't have needed my advice. Her only son, struggling through school. Now what would she think?"

Tsukishima stepped forward, and Kuroo's arms wrapped around him, keeping him there even as he wanted to strangle the guy.

Maybe he and Tsukishima should've done this themselves after all, if only to spare Terushima the vile words.

Terushima didn't falter. "Shut up! You don't know anything about my mom! She loves me!"

"I know enough, you're hurting her just as much if you do this, you really think she'd approve?"

"That's a nice lie, but I'm done believing you," Terushima whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. The doctor kept getting worse; maybe Terushima had been looking for an ounce of redemption, an excuse to not pull the trigger. "And no, she wouldn't like this at all. Mom is too nice. You preyed on that, on us, because of our situation. You take from people with nothing..but you're a coward, and I'm nothing like you."

He knew what had to be done.

Kuroo still didn't know if he approved, not deep down, but he respected the willingness to decide, Terushima's trust in himself no matter what happened.

Yet, until his last breath, Takahashi would trample him and all those reasonings. "You lost, and you should've accepted that," the doctor said, delirious, his laugh bubbling awkwardly into the room. "That's all anyone will ever know if you kill me, I'll die the same. Renowned, adored...nothing changes."

Tsukishima flinched in Kuroos arms, all too familiar with the concept.

Terushima wavered, but his words rang true even as his eyes beaded with water. "Maybe, but I'd sure sleep a lot easier, you know?"

Takahashi's eyes widened, and he too began to cry, seeing no way out. He bowed his head, staring at the hardwood instead of the gun's chamber. Kuroo might've done the same, but then again, he was too stubborn for that.

Terushima didn't shoot though.

He just stood there, eyes slowing losing the ferocity, the murderous passion. They softened, unsure, uncertain, not unlike the Terushima from earlier in the night.

This was a different hesitation though. Not guilt or reluctance, but realization.

More agonizing seconds passed, filled with nothing but the doctor's tears and heavy breathing.

Tsukishima squirmed in his arms, and Kuroo let go of him carefully, letting him cross the room until his hand sat on Terushima's shoulder, his other on the handle of the gun. Tsukishima voice echoed so steady, so forgiving. "Terushima...you don't have to, remember that."

At the reminder, Terushima closed his eyes, breathing in once, twice.

"I know," he whispered, swallowing a lump in his throat. His gaze drifted to Tsukishima, looking for a clue, but found a blank canvas. He had to do this himself, but he wasn't alone. He'd never been alone. "Hey Tsukishima, you know I...I hate the Purge."

So obvious, said before. But Tsukishima didn't comment with sarcasm. "I know."

Terushima nodded. "Like I...I really hate it. It ruins everything."

And it would keep ruining everything, they all knew. Takahashi was just one example of its corruption.

Terushima sighed again, his mouth staying open until the sound found a pathway. "But I think I learned that…people who are shitty are just shitty year round. The Purge just helps them have an excuse. Right?"

Tsukishima hesitated for a moment, struggling for a response, before finally he acknowledged the truth. The blond's hands fell from where they rested on Terushima's, hanging limply at his sides. "Mm, yeah. I think that's...correct."

Kuroo squinted, but he already knew where this was going before Terushima spoke up again.

All he could do was look at Takahashi, and think one thing. You don't deserve it.

"He's right you know?" Terushima said. "If I shoot him, his name, his practice lives on..."

A recognized surgeon, maybe the best in the city. What a load of garbage. Kuroo ducked his head and waited though, as Terushima's words hit him far too deep in his soul.

"People like him deserve punishment in the real world, in the eyes of the law, without the Purge," Terushima said, and what he was proposing...it was a grander plan than this whole night. Although, maybe Kuroo shouldn't have been surprised. Terushima always thought big, never settled for less than what he believed.

But a just law system could only exist without the Purge, without even the slightest trace of it. The two had become so intertwined, Kuroo had nearly forgotten what it was like before.

It would not be easy, but...

Something told him Terushima knew that.

Terushima glared at Takahashi one last time. "And maybe without the Purge, people won't become so awful. Or at least, they'll have no reason to hide it. What happened to me, and what happened to you...it won't go away but..."

Tsukishima shushed him with a hand to his wrist, his eyes a storm, beautiful and strong.

An unspoken 'I believe you' sat between them.

Terushima smiled, so out of place in such a terrible home, but it made the tension in Kuroo's shoulders evaporate in an instant, the finality coursing through him.

Terushima handed the gun to Tsukishima, who took it with a smile of his own, and the blond rejoined Kuroo against the wall, basking in the same feeling.

A hopeful tomorrow.

"You know doctor, I guess I don't care if you live or die," Terushima said with a shrug, his hands on his hips to steady himself. It had been a long night. "I just can't stand the thought of you getting away with what you do while you're breathing. I won't let it happen again."

Takahashi's glare dissolved into genuine fear; it was simply the effect Terushima's words had. No matter how much work it would be, or how long it took, the determination in that voice told the world he wouldn't lose.

Kuroo would bet his life on it.

With that, Terushima turned away from the doctor as he began to quietly sob, stopping just in front of Kuroo and Tsukishima with a calm smile.

"Thank you," he said, and then his hand curled around Kuroo's shoulder. "Both of you."

Then he was gone, like the journey there hadn't been agonizing. Down the stairs, out the door, where his friends waited to congratulate him no matter what.

It was what he deserved.

However, Kuroo couldn't help but feel like there was one more thing they weren't addressing. He and Tsukishima looked over at Takahashi's pathetic form. He had money, resources, allies...

It didn't sit well with him. "You know, there's a chance there might be retaliation if we leave him here."

No one would believe Terushima's side of things until he got proof, and in the meantime, it would be easy to get Terushima and his mom out of the way through subtle means...

"I know," Tsukishima said, glaring as he sighed at the inconvenience. Seemed like they both wanted to protect Terushima as long as they could, even as the night came to an end.

As sickening as it was, an agreement formed between them, with Tsukishima willing to do the deed itself. Always looking out for Kuroo.

They shared a look, and as much as Kuroo's stomach churned, he would do nothing to stop this.

"Terushima was too noble to kill him," he said instead, and let the pride sit there, a reminder that this hadn't all been for nothing. Especially not Tsukishima's next steps towards Takahashi.

Looking to Kuroo, he tilted his head towards the wall, and Kuroo was already looking away. "Yeah, but I'm not."

Then, Kuroo heard Tsukshima load the gun.

--

By the time they exited the house, the group had already pulled up the car, ready to go as usual. What a bunch of losers, Kuroo thought as he grinned, far too fond for people he'd barely known for twelve hours.

They seemed in good spirits, and that's all that mattered to him.

Terushima perked up when he saw them both, and he stood up from where he leaned against the door. "Hey slowpokes, what took you so long?"

Tsukishima's hand was in his side immediately, jabbing him hard. "Ow, fuck you!"

"No thanks," Tsukishima scoffed, and the question was avoided.

Kuroo really did adore the blond for that.

"Why are you in such a rush anyways?" Kuroo asked, ruffling Terushima's hair. He was swatted away, but it had been a success. (Perhaps not as messy as Kuroo's, but oh well.)

Dutifully, Kuroo opened the door, and Futakuchi scooted himself over to make room. Okay, maybe this car wasn't so bad, though Kuroo liked his delivery mobile better.

He simply didn't hate this hunk of suburbia anymore.

"I'm hungry," Yamamoto said, followed by a chorus of 'no.'

Christ.

When Tsukishima reached for the handle of the driver side door, Terushima grabbed his wrist, stopping him. The blond's face twisted in confusion, but listened.

Terushima grinned, rubbing the back of his head like he was some dumb kid again, and Kuroo quickly exchanged an amused look with Kuroo.

Kuroo had a feeling their night wasn't over after all.

"Actually Tsukishima, can I drive?" Terushima asked, which really made Tsukishima's eyes widen brilliantly. "There's one last place I wanna go if that's alright. I won't crash into anything this time, I promise."

Futakuchi laughed, and it was contagious, the car erupting in idiotic snickers. It had been a really long night. Terushima blushed, throwing his jacket at the nearest target (Suga's face). "Shut it! I can do it!"

Despite his claims, even he looked like he'd seen a ghost when Tsukishima dangled the keys in front of his face, conceding to his request.

Terushima took them with shaky hands, his smile hesitant, like Tsukishima would take it back at a moment's notice. But no, the blond was all too happy to pile into the back beside Kuroo, shooting Terushima one last smirk over his shoulder.

"We'll see about that."

[seenashwrite]

(1/2)I've completely lost my ability to focus right now, except for hearing Dean saying, "You're awesome, sweetheart," on a loop. I've reread your many treatises on the subject, finally finding the one where someone asked you, "If not sweetheart, then what?" You seemed to believe that he would use "baby" or "sweetiepie" because of his love of his car and pie. I would object to both of these, because I believe that, for him, both Baby and Pie are proper names. (Brother and Angel similarly so, but

Cursing my name? For reals!? 

Nah, I kid. I know it’s not hate. And I do apologize, RE: that first part - I obviously was not clear, that’s on me. ‘Cause those ain’t my recommendations. Noooo.

I wanted to convey that it was interesting to me how, putting aside that he only uses “sweetheart” sincerely for Baby & Colt, even if he was using it as an endearment for, um, living things of a twue lurve nature, well….

Dude don’t use it all that often. Not when we compare it to things he no doubt, balls-to-the-wall loves, such as the Impala and pie [and alcohol, but “my lil’ whiskey sour” don’t quite do it for tinglin’ the nethers]. Thus, it got a raised eyebrow from me, how people don’t seem to have the knee-jerk of “sweetiepie” or “babydoll”, derivatives of things he does talk about/refer to adoringly on the reg. Tell me if that’s not making sense, I’ll work on phrasing it better.

Now, having said that - imagining either of those coming out of Dean’s mouth makes me wanna throw up, go eat, throw that up, then mainline Pepto so I can do it all over again til the thought is purged from my person.

All right. Let’s build a profile on Dean’s behavior & verbiage with legitimate love interests, based on what we know from canon, then see if we can’t drill down on a plausible nickname or two.

On an aside, I titled the document containing the draft of what’s below  “Endeanments” and I hate myself.

Here’s how this breaks down in my head, so that’s how it’s laid out below. Should the Mrs. or anyone reading this wanna skip ahead, you do you. Scroll til you see the heading.

I. Thing Of The First: What Do We Want & What Do We KnowII. Which Romantic Interests Do We Focus On?III. What Are We Looking For & When We Find It, What Do We Do?IV. What Else Do We Have At Our Disposal To Flesh Out Our Profile Of “Dean In Love"’s Verbiage?V. Thing Of The Second: Nash On Nicknames/Endearments For Unnamed Characters -  A.K.A.: Where I’m coming from on this, just so’s y’all can do the whole “Consider the source” thingVI. What Has Worked In The Nashhole Writing RoomVII. Thoughts On The Examples Given In The Ask VIII. Nash’s Three Key Pieces Of Advice For Pulling This Off

And Before We Get Cranking, RE: That Other Post

So here’s the meat & potatoes of what I said when somebody asked my thoughts on what Dean would use as a genuine term of endearment:

I’d bet money that for the actual contenders [both the ones I haven’t yet researched & the nonexistents/potential true loves/soulmates/blahblahblahs], they’d most assuredly be friends first, they will not be a hunter [not a hunter proper, at least, though knowledge of is not a deal-breaker], and any endearment is gonna be something that’s a riff on their name [a la “Sammy” or “Cas”] or related to a specific situation….. she knocks over the sugar bowl, so she’s “Sugar” until enough glares shut that shit down…. things like that.  

I. Thing Of The First: What Do We Want & What Do We Know

This whole shebang is based upon the premise that an author gives a shit about accurate characterization of Dean within the context of a legit romantic relationship. 

We gotta have a profile in mind regarding the broad strokes of what this chick would be like if our writing of his behavior/the things he says - such as, ta-da! an endearment - is gonna ring true.

All we can know is what’s in canon, and bless the wiki and all their transcripts because no one has to re-watch all the seasons to answer this. #hallelujah  

II. Which Romantic Interests Do We Focus On?

The bed-‘em-and-book-it chicks are ruled out, see above, RE: legit love premise.

In the draft of the answer to the other Q that’s referenced in the Q linked above, I have it fleshed out more than I do here - although it’s not completely episode/quote-by-quote sourced - so if y'all wanna know the reasoning behind why I deem these four and only these four ladies of the “legit, Dean was really into them/this had the potential for true love” category, I can share it, but I can’t promise when.

I have no idea if he had an endearment for any or all of these ladies, is my point, y'all feel free to do the deep dive in that respect, 

----> ETA later: We did the deep dive. He called Lisa “Honey” when she was dying; unrelated but kind’ve, when he was pretending to be Bela’s husband and she fake-choked on shellfish (also “dying”), he called her “Honey”, too. There ya go.

I stand by these chosen few and the order in which I’ve placed them, the reasons why have to do with character autopsies I do/have done for my big story, ergo would have to be another post or fourteen. Moving on.

Here’s my ranking for “Legit, Dean Totes Felt Something” characters:

4. Jo3. Cassie2. Lisa1. Carmen

All of these ladies, no matter if nothing ever got off the ground [Jo] to the what-might-have-been [Cassie] to the long-term relationship [Lisa] to the dream ideal [Carmen] have some stark, can’t-miss-‘em, key characteristics in common  [intelligent, mature, value family, etc.] but I won’t go into that here. 

They’re as solid a guide as we’ve got right now, and not just for doing this nickname postulation exercise - I’d also recommend peeps who wanna reeeeeally drill down on an O/C love for Dean to utilize these characters as a jumping off point. R/Is are, of course, going to be [::coughs:: should be] more nebulous in their attributes.

Take home message is that he had a great deal of respect for all of them, so anything that would have to depend on tone because it walks a fine line, you may wanna axe it from the list as an everyday sub for their name.

III. What Are We Looking For & When We Find It, What Do We Do?

You are looking for any nicknames/endearments he assigned to them.

If he did use an endearment with them, do the following:

(1) Which of those 4 is your Dean love interest most like?

(2) Picture Dean calling your character whatever endearment he called them

(3) How’d that work out for you?

And if not, to speculate upon what he would say….. guess what?

(1) Which of those 4 is your Dean love interest most like?

(2) Picture Dean calling them whatever endearment you’ve chosen

(3) How’d that work out for you?

That is your litmus test. Wash, rinse repeat.

IV. What Else Do We Have At Our Disposal To Flesh Out Our Profile Of “Dean In Love"’s Verbiage?

Plenty.

We’ve got the ability to make the profile more robust because of the cooooooooopious amount of evidence on the flip side, what he zeroes in on with the bed-’em-and-book-it type of gal, what his verbiage is like with them, the peeps he doesn’t intend on keeping around for long. 

Bonus: that recent ep of what he was like under a love spell. Take what we saw, scale down the intensity, fiddle with it where appropriate - meaning, ‘86 anything that was alike in all the men they charmed, as that isn’t evidence of “Dean In Love” coming to the surface, it’s evidence of the spell’s structure so as to elicit specific behaviors in victims.

Second thing you can look at in terms of nicknaming habits are people for whom he has no romantic inclinations. The easiest cases in point being Sam and Castiel, a.k.a. Sammy and Cas. Off the top of my head, for whatever reason, I recall him calling Gadreel “Zeke” prior to the stolen identity reveal.

So Dean’s a “-y” adder and a name-shortener, consistently with Sam and Castiel, however many times with Ezekiel/Gadreel, and there’s likely more examples, godspeed on that research journey, I ain’t your girl.

I am also 100% - and I know y’all are, too - that he’s a biiiiiiig proponent of situational nicknaming, and while it’s usually snark [think “Batman” for himself, “Harry Potter” for Mick, etc.] it still goes to pattern. I’ve got so many of these in the CASPN decks, it’s unreal, and maaany, possibly most, of them - as noted just now - are TV/movie/music/book-related. [I know this because I’m trying to pull them out as I go to stick them in their own “Deanisms” deck, because if the decks ever go “public” for sale, they can’t have copyrighted content in them]

Again: here we’re looking at a broad stroke in his verbiage, to get a feel of his go-tos, his habits in what he calls others.

V. Thing Of The Second: Nash On Nicknames/Endearments For Unnamed Characters -  A.K.A.: Where I’m coming from on this, just so’s y’all can do the whole “Consider the source” thing

I don’t lean into the whole nickname thing. It’s not a purposeful effort, as in, I’m policing myself or when I edit I’m taking them out. It’s just not a reflexive brain-to-keyboard thing for me. I don’t often have characters calling each other by name/nickname/endearment, particularly when it’s just 2 people in a convo, unless it’s a heated convo, a la “DAMMIT NASH!” and “EAT ME, SHITBIRD!”

Longer the fic, trickier this gets. Somebody’s gonna have to address our nameless-faceless protag at some point, and as has been established copiously during my tenure in this fandom, I hope Y/N and her pouty, lip-nibbling, everything-she-does-including-fart-is-done-softly self would die in a fire, ceiling optional, so believe me: I *do* co-sign substitute monikers.

It’s too far to scroll up, here’s what I said about his nicknaming pattern —>

and any endearment is gonna be something that’s a riff on their name [a la “Sammy” or “Cas”] or related to a specific situation….. she knocks over the sugar bowl, so she’s “Sugar” until enough glares shut that shit down…. things like that. 

We talked above about him riffing on the person’s name. The situational thing I mentioned - I’ll tell y’all what I did for this, RE: the sticky wicket of when it’s a mini-series/series. [Personally? I think most one-shots can dodge this issue altogether, though certainly YMMV]

VI. What Has Worked In The Nashhole Writing Room

Now, I haaaaated writing the smut thing of mine when I lost a bet, so I plotted it to hell to keep my sanity, and it expanded to 5 g.d. parts. The smut part of it is *riddled* with the tripest tropes that ever troped [part of said bet’s terms], so I’m talking about the story part of it here. 

Dean and the protag had a touch-and-go, volatile sitch going on for the bulk of it, ergo chances high due to intense emotions that somebody at some point was gonna have to address each other in at least a tense manner, if not one of anger.

And she was tough as nails, a sniper called in to assist them on a hunt, and she would’ve ended him if he dared call her anything even in the realm of too cutesy-shmoopsy on the reg. It would be in conflict with what I’d built her up to be, bottom line, and likely suck the readers out of the story. 

Here’s the dodge I came up with, keeping in mind the situation is she’s a sniper:

“So, we have a decision to make,” Dean said through a partially chewed bite of his burger.

Was he actively trying to be gross? He thankfully swallowed before continuing.

“I’m not in the mood to drive all the way back to Jody’s, then have to share a bed with Sam in her guest room,” Dean began.

Okay. He was talking to me.

“I think the best thing to do is head to the bunker—”

I looked to him, aghast.

“—and we’ve got plenty of room, we can pick up a toothbrush for you when we stop to fill up—”

Did he not notice the big black bulky thing I’d thrown in the back floorboard when they picked me up? I was never not prepared. There was already a toothbrush in my backpack. And a change of clothes.

And a Glock.

“—then we’ll all be fresh daisies, get you home tomorrow. Whaddya say, Snipes?”

Oh god. He’d nicknamed me. Had my letting him win a staring contest actually infused him with enough bravado to try and make friends? Convince me to stay in what Jody had described as essentially a really large basement?

They end up in love - but the sub for her name isn’t lovey-dovey, and it doesn’t have to be, the dynamic between them is vastly more important [more on that later]. 

In another one in the ol’ draft folder - and it’s not a romantic dynamic, but the nickname dodge happens because she’s unnamed - here’s how that’s gonna work. In an earlier scene, it’s mentioned that Dean was giving her a hard time via the Patsy Cline song “I Fall To Pieces” [spoiler alert: it’s the story based upon THIS thing, you’re smart cookies, you’ll get the reasoning behind it]

And you’d remember. It’s not something you’d forget. I know this because no one else has. Dean still calls me “Cline” - let me rephrase - he bellows it, with glee and snort-laughs, though I suppose there’s worse things to be called. He’s called me those, too, over the years, he doesn’t disappoint. And Sam still narrows his eyes at left my knee, watches my gait for any unevenness or wobbles, and it doesn’t matter what I say, he’ll believe he messed up the articulation til the end of days.

Tangentially-related, in “Build Me Up, Buttercup” - the nutty AU-ish thing that actually started because I was riffing on the sweetheart situation and it mutated - there’s a chunk of conversation between The Woman In Black/The Masked Vampirate/The Apprentice [—-> hint, hint, hint: we *can* refer to folks without using a name/nickname] and Dean on this very topic, of what we call others in lieu of their given names. Mini-spoiler: Even though she’s written 3rd person O/C, and even though she does end up as someone’s love interest, you’re never gonna know her name.

Not spoilers, because these stories are already “out there”, you also never learned/will never learn the names of the chicks in Hello, I’m Gone; The Lore You Know; It; The Once Demon Barber From Robintree; A Delicate Desiccation; The Bell-Watcher’s Daughter; A Fluff By Any Other Name; and who friggin’ knows what-all in the stack of quickies I’ve accumulated.

VII. Thoughts On The Examples Given In The Ask

Back to what you said….. and shit, Imma c/p it here, if anybody’s made it this damn far, I won’t ask they scroll up: 

All right, in no particular order, just as things hit me…..

It’s about 7:30 a.m. here in Nashland, this is rotten and off the top of my head, but I could totes picture seeing pumpkin in a Halloween fluff, like - something happens with a pumpkin, it’s dropped or she slices open her hand trying to carve it, is like “[something something] and don’t start calling me pumpkin” and he’s like “Nah…. Punk.” ‘Cause, again - he loves a situational riff & he’s a shortener.

Agreed on princess, I co-sign your gut, he’d say it sneery/as a cut-down on someone who’s afraid to dig in, get a little dirt in the skirt on a hunt or something.

Darlin’ is tricky, because Dean’s not Southern/doesn’t have a drawl unless a touch of Jensen slips out…. and honestly, he’s not got much of an accent from what I’ve heard, though remember that’s going through a Dixieland filter, so consider the source. Might I offer a sub for it? See how “doll” works.

Well, honey’s hitting closer to sounding like him. I’d go “hon”, though, RE: being a shortener. “Hey, hon?” is more casual than “Honey”, and “Honey” also might run the risk of popping a reader back to… [forgive the Rocket inclusion]: 

Full quote is “Honey, there ain’t no other men like me.”, but y’all knew that. It’s not on the OH HELL NO list for me, Honey/Hon’s definitely a contender.

But speaking of pinging my “OH HELL NO” radar - 

[gasps] Oh, Whoozies…. oh my Whatsis…. sugarplum?

[shakes head vehemently] 

* UNLESS* Y/N is a violet-hued fairy in ballet slippers, and they are battling a baby-chomping sentient Nutcracker. But even then, he’d call her ‘Plums.

Sweetie… hmmmm….. you know what might be worth a go? “Sweets”. I could hear “Hey, Sweets” coming out of his mouth. If you could figure a way to make it a lesser of two evils, that’s even better, like…. he pats her on the ass and calls her “sweetcheeks” and she’s all “Oh, but no”, so he downshifts to “sweets”.

“Puddin’“….. erm….. My knee-jerk is no. If it were suuuuper situational, perhaps. I’m drawing a blank on what the situation would be, though, because my mind immediately pops to that episode at the spa…. I just….

I’m hearing it in my mind as if somebody was writing a story where it’s basically a re-hash of that episode - Oh but (tee-hee) this time Y/N got the roofied pudding, and now Dean’s gonna drive her nuts never letting her forget it! Tune in for next week’s episode of Supernatural, guest starring Ordinary McTypical-Chick as Puddin’! [/announcer voice] [cue laugh track], and then I’m all……

 Round up on the “Give ‘Er A Try” list:

Honey —> sure why not; “hon” may be better

Sweetie —> ehhhh, probably situational; “sweets” could be worth a try

Pumpkin —-> sooooo situational; and if go there, would 100% roll it into “punk”

Darlin’ —> ehhhh; “doll” suggested sub

….and wasn’t mentioned, but unless it works your personal nerves, from my POV, “babe” doesn’t pull me out of the story if it sneaks into Dean’s dialogue, a la “Hey, babe? You already toss some shells into the trunk?” 

Nash’s Three Key Pieces Of Advice For Pulling This Off

1. Who is this person on the receiving end of the nickname - know this, and it’ll narrow down your choices;

2. Do it like Dean: if they have a name, go “-y” or shorten it, or take a situation/circumstance and spin it;

and, possibly the most important -

3. Limit, limit, limit

Make your own parameters for amount of times this is happening in a given piece. I’m just throwing #s - like, = 500 = 0,  501 - 1K = 1, 1.1K - 2.5K = 2, something like that. Take away the pressure of it by making “rules” and you’re free to get your brain back to the story.

Because here it is, y’all - and I’ve said this in other posts - the best thing you can do for yourself or for those you beta is to stop after every scene or paragraph or page or “x” amount of words, whatever your pref is, and ask yourself about what you’ve just read/written:

Who cares?  - A.K.A.: Is ____ advancing the plot/the interpersonal dynamics, or not?

Regarding non-nickname stuff: Does it matter that we know about her morning routine? That she had oatmeal because she was out of bagels? The make and model of her car? Her co-workers’ names? Her co-workers at all? What her cat is like? What her cat is named? Her cat at all?

And the same applies here: Does an endearment matter in this particular sentence/moment? I care about the relationships between/amongst the characters, how well they’re grooving with each other [or not], how that weaves together, how it’s integral to the plot, how it impacts the action/the task, how it plays into the climax and resolution [or lack thereof].

Is it ideal to have things coming out of the mouths of the characters we all know ring true? Absolutely. And that’s the other “who cares” here: BIG cares if things that are “un-Dean” creep in. As the adage goes: “When in doubt, don’t”.

So, when stuck on this element, figure out something else to do with the sentence…. and I’d start with 86′ing the nickname. Bet you money most of the time, the message of the sentence will read exactly the same.

You got this. 

Thanks for the Q, hope I helped in some fashion and that the curses either wane, or perhaps reach new, interesting heights and volumes, depending on the level of said helpfulness.

[openupblackwidow]

The Suns of Gunshots Ch. 11

Fandom: BTS Characters: Reader & BTS–Jimin, Yoongi, Jin, Namjoon Genre: Thriller Rating: M - There’s not much violence or gore in this chapter, but it could be upsetting or a potential trigger warning for some. Length: 2222 Words Summary: After being saved by your friends, you find yourself swept up in a whirlwind of an unwanted adventure on Purge night. Author’s Notes: I apologize for tense changes and errors. This was written at work with no editing done after. Please be aware that chapters of this story may contain mature content (mostly violence), as it is a Purge related fanfic. It could potentially trigger some people, so please proceed with caution. This is my first time writing something with a lot of action and something dark like this as I normally write fluff. All feedback is greatly appreciated and welcome, within reason (don’t just tell me you hated it without giving something constructive that I can work with).

Chapter One (M/TW) | Chapter Two (E) | Chapter Three (E) | Chapter Four (M/TW) | Chapter Five (M/TW) | Interlude (E) | Chapter Six (E) | Chapter Seven (M/TW) | Chapter Eight (M/TW) | Chapter Nine (M/TW) | Chapter Ten (M/TW) | Christmas Interlude (E)

“I don’t like this.” Jin mumbled his thoughts from where he stood at the edge of the garage. Blankets of this fog swirled around his ankles, threatening to swallow him whole.

A sigh traveled from his left as Namjoon crossed his arms thoughtfully over his chest. “I don’t either,” he began, hesitating before finishing his thought. “But we have to go. We’ve dealt with worse.” Though, the look on his face said he didn’t quite believe the statement he’d given. “We just need to be on our toes and keep an extra eye out.”

The tall man turned around and left Jin staring out worriedly into the gray curtain that covered our home and faced Jimin and Yoongi.

“Your group faces the hardest challenge. You’re not in a four wheeled vehicle and the bikes will be loud,” he addressed Yoongi.

The man nearby shrugged his shoulders, trying to seem nonchalant about the whole situation.

“It’s as you said, we’ve faced worse. It’s not our first time going out there. I won’t lie, it will be more dangerous than it normally is, but I believe we’ll be okay.”

It was with a sigh that shook his whole body that Namjoon nodded his head and proceeded to finish the preparations for his group, leaving the three of us to do our own work.

With the conversation finished, I began to fill my quiver with bolts. After more training, I’d been upgraded from a bow to a crossbow. As if I needed to feel like a monster killing badass. It had proven helpful when Yoongi and I managed our tricks on the bike. It was easier to use, easier to aim and felt like it had way more power.

“It has nothing to do with that, man! She needs to ride with me. That’s the way we trained and how we should go out there tonight. You’ll fuck everything up forcing her to ride with you with the conditions the way they are right now. We have to do what’s familiar.”

Yoongi’s barely whispered words reached me, making my hands still and my ears prick up.

“Tch,” Jimin’s tongue clicked back. “Okay. That’s a great excuse to get closer to her now that we’re split.”

A scoffing laugh followed but before Yoongi could butt back, I stood up and walked between the quarreling two.

“I’ll ride by myself if you two don’t shut the fuck up. I am my own person. I can take care of myself now. I don’t need either of you and if you don’t stop acting like one of you is going to win me like some trophy, I’ll request to be moved to Jungkook’s group.”

With a humph over my shoulder, I walked away and stood beside Jin who was still standing at the mouth of the garage looking out at nothing.

“Jin?” I whispered after settling the flame in my chest that had sparked to life.

“I don’t like it,” he whispered again. “I know we’ve dealt with many surprises and challenges along the way, but I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.”

His eyes remained locked on the fog as if his gaze could break it apart and clear it away. A shiver ran down my spine and I reached out a hand, placing it gently on his arm. My mouth opened to reassure him that it was probably just paranoia but the words never came.

“Let’s move out,” Namjoon called, followed by the sounds of doors shutting and engines roaring to life.

Jin and I shared a quick look and I noticed he was staring hard at me, almost as if he was trying to memorize my features.

“It’ll be okay, Jin,” I whispered as we separated and walked to our groups, but he never did give me that reassuring smile he always did when we all left.

I turned my attention to the two I would be working with for the night. Their gazes watched me expectantly and I couldn’t help but sigh in frustration.

“I’m riding with Yoongi,” I told Jimin, looking him square in the eyes before turning on Yoongi himself. “Not because I favor you over Jimin but because this is how we’ve trained.” I moved to pull my gloves over my hands and my quiver over my shoulder. “What Jin said has me on edge now,” I added with a mumble.

The truth had come out to Jimin Christmas night. It had been rough but for the best. We had tried to work things out after a few days with some distance but it became increasingly difficult for me to deny the feelings I had for both men. In the end, I’d made the decision to end things because the last thing I’d ever wanted to do was hurt anyone.

I hadn’t expected for the decision to cause more tension and turmoil between the two friends.

My only hope was that they could focus. It was going to be a dark and difficult night ahead of us. The last thing we would need is an argument between the two of them getting us all killed.

“I don’t like this.”

Jin’s words fell out of my lips as the three of us stood at the end of the street that should have looked very familiar. Instead, it was shrouded in gray-white, the light from the street lights giving off an eerie glow.

The fog had only thickened the further we’d driven and by the time we got into town, it was completely unrecognizable. The curb that should have only been a few feet away, was nowhere to be seen and the buildings hid like daunting caves with beasts hiding inside. Their shadows danced in the glowing light of the orbs that should have had legs attached but instead, floated mistily above us like UFOs.

A shiver ran down my spine once again as Jin’s haunting words from earlier echoed in my ears.

“I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.”

“We should keep moving,” Yoongi whispered, but his words felt like quickly swallowed screams in my ears.

Noises seemed to echo off the clouds around us but on the same token, they disappeared quicker than it seemed possible. Everything about the night felt wrong and I was beginning to wonder if Jin had seen some sort of premonition before we’d left.

“If we stay in one spot too long, we’ll be easy targets. Not that anyone can really see well in this mess.”

His voice shook just slightly and I dared a glance at his face. His eyes danced left and right in a complicated waltz, looking for something but never finding it. Even the fearless leader of our trio, the one who always had a mask over his emotions and a comeback for every whip was lost in this situation.

Neither Jimin nor I argued. Instead, we silently took our places on our bikes and began to slowly drive along, listening for something, anything.

It felt like we’d driven for hours before a shriek finally cut through the fog, but it was impossible to know where it was coming from. Jimin looked left, Yoongi right, and I whirled around, staring up and down, anywhere possible.

The longer the scream went on, the more it drove us mad until I knelt down beside the bike with my hands over my ears.

“Make it stop,” I whispered to no one.

If only I had opened my eyes faster.

The arrow lodged in the ground before me in an unusually silent manner, but the wind it’d brought with it jolted me to my feet. In an instant, my crossbow was in my grasp and my gaze looking in the direction it’d come from. A dark spot slowly began to grow in the fog as it walked slowly toward us and I realized I could see it because it was backed by what felt like the lights from a million vehicles.

“We have to go,” I pulled Yoongi and Jimin back to the bikes. It only took a second for them to realize what was happening and we all sprang into action.

Instead of hoping on behind Yoongi, I sat before him, my legs straddling him and my arms looping around him. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions but we had learned to make it work.

The bikes roared to life and Jimin took off ahead of us. We began to follow, my bolt aimed at the fog behind, but I couldn’t make out anything. I knew we were behind followed thanks to the lights glittering behind us, but I couldn’t figure out where a tire or a body could be.

I chanced a glance over my shoulder, hoping we were headed somewhere safe we could hide and wait for them to pass. Instead of safety, my eyes saw something glisten for just a split second on the ground.

“Yoongi, turn,” I told him with fear laced in my words. “YOONGI TURN!”

But he noticed too late. Jimin’s bike took the pain first, his tires popping as they ran over the spikes. We quickly followed.

The bike kicked us from it and sent our bodies soaring through the air. My crossbow flew from my hands as I wrapped my arms tightly around Yoongi’s middle and he held me close to his chest, his arms moving to the back of my head in an attempt to protect it. It felt as if we were in the air for minutes before we hit the ground with a thud and rolled away from each other.

Black spots danced in my eyes as I tried to blink away the pain that was consuming me whole. Yoongi. Jimin. Were they okay? We had to get up and keep moving, but as I tried to pull myself up, a scream echoed in my head and darkness covered my eyes. I have to save them.

Boots crunched as footsteps grew nearer.

“Well, well,” came a cool and almost handsome sounding voice. It was deep and smooth, easy to listen to and something I would have wanted to capture on tape.

The footsteps stopped and when the voice spoke again it was much nearer to me. “So you’re the girl I’ve heard about,” he cooed, prodding me with what felt like the end of a stick. “You are pretty. No wonder my old friends took to quarrelling over you. If only you’d been around a few years ago. You probably would have made it so much easier to win Jimin over to our side.”

I blinked open my eyes into slits, blinking several more times, trying to open them wider and longer each time, but I could feel my consciousness fading out. His face was slender and his jaw sharp. His dark hair fell over his forehead, parted to the side. His teeth were perfectly aligned and glistened white but I couldn’t figure out how they were glistening in the fog. He was just as handsome as his voice, but I could tell his heart was ugly. I knew it was because this had to be the leader of the Eliminators.

He had to be the gang’s old friend I’d heard about.

“I should really just kill all three of you right here, right now, but that wouldn’t be so fun, would it? No, no it wouldn’t. I tell you what…” he hesitated and I could tell in between blinks that he was glancing between two things. “I’ll let you pick. Doesn’t that sound fun? You pick which one gets to stay and live.” He stood up and stepped back, his arms crossing over his chest.

I forced myself to roll over onto my stomach, telling myself to find a weapon and stab him or shoot him or maim him at least, but all I could manage was a small crawl forward.

“Don’t leave them waiting! Surely you don’t want both of them to die.”

I didn’t want either of them to die, but I was in no condition to do anything about it. I was quickly fading and had no strength left.

To my left I saw Jimin, his arms splayed open in a vulnerable pose. Blood stained his cheek and forehead but I could barely see his chest rising and falling. His face was wrinkled in pain.

Yoongi’s body was to my right, the pressure being applied to his stomach, his face turned toward mine, his hand reaching out toward me as if he was trying to get to me before he’d blacked out.

I slowly looked left and right several times.

“Who do you choose?” the man called again, getting more impatient by the minute.

Jimin was too far away. I knew I wouldn’t make it to him before passing out. Besides, I couldn't do anything without Yoongi. All my training had been with him. I was stronger with him than Jimin.

Tears swarmed my eyes as I used the last of my strength to stretch out my hand. The edges of my fingers curled around those of the hand to my right but my gaze remained on Jimin as I collapsed into the ground.

Darkness began to swallow my vision but before I completely faded, I watched as they scooped up Jimin’s body and carried him away.

[openupblackwidow]

The Suns of Gunshots Ch. 2

Fandom: BTS Characters: OC/Reader & BTS: Suga, Jimin Genre: Thriller Rating: M - Violence & Death Length: 3191 Words Summary: After being saved by your friends, you find yourself swept up in a whirlwind of an unwanted adventure on Purge night. What will you do when a friend’s life is put in danger because of you? Author’s Notes: Please be aware that this story contains mature content (mostly violence), as it is a Purge related fanfic. It could potentially trigger some people, so please proceed with caution. This is my first time writing something with a lot of action and something dark like this as I normally write fluff. All feedback is greatly appreciated and welcome,within reason (don’t just tell me you hated it without giving something constructive that I can work with).  Chapter One

The two bikes pulled slowly out of the dead end alley, the heads of their drivers twisting left and right, looking up and down the one way street to see that it was clear. With my arms wrapped tightly around Yoongi’s waist, as I too peered around the newly abandoned street. Just moments ago, a large black van with five young men I attend university with had sat near the end of the road. Now, nothing but a chilling breeze met us. The only sign that life had recently vacated the street remained in the form of the small pool of liquid on the asphalt from the van. I could still hear Jin’s words echoing back at us. “Be careful. See you there,” they’d whispered in a caring manner.

I still didn’t know exactly where there was. The loop these men had did not include me in it, and that frightened me. I wanted to trust them. After all, we were all friends, spent time together, but no one was telling me anything. I didn’t know why I was still alive, I didn’t know where they were taking me, or why they’d even had the heart to protect me like this. I hadn’t asked them to put their lives in danger for me, and sure, some would say it’s what friends would do. Purge night changed everything, though. Friend turned on friend, family on family. This was the one night a year you found out where loyalties rested within others. Some people were hardcore for the Purge, and if you weren’t, that put you on their list. Others kept to themselves on the night, locking themselves away in their safe rooms, while others still cared enough to extend a helping hand to those in need.

Every bone within me wanted to believe that’s what my friends were doing now, helping me because they cared. They’d never been malicious people before. Sure, they punched each other’s arms and when one did something wrong, they had no problem letting him know, but they seemed to genuinely love each other and other people, for the most part. I could still remember the way Taehyung’s arms had wrapped around me and he seemed genuinely thrilled to see I was alive. Surely that had to say something, right?

Then again, the small, pessimistic part of my mind said they were planning on taking me somewhere to torture me. I’d heard horror stories about people being tortured, experiencing a slow death on Purge night. Though, it was hard to really know the truth, since the people sharing the stories were still alive. Regardless, I still wasn’t sure I could fully trust them, even if my feelings told me I should.

That’s what made this whole situation more awkward than it should have been, my feelings. I hadn’t told anyone, not even my best friend, but I’d been denying my growing feelings for the man I wrapped my arms around. I don’t know what it was about him that first lured me in. There was something about his eyes, something that said he’d seen things, experienced things that had hurt his soul more than anyone could fathom. Perhaps it was his grumpy nature, the way it made me smile at times, because it would lead to him snapping at one of the younger boys when they were goofing off too much at study group. Whatever it was, the butterflies in my stomach couldn’t have been worse with their timing. My life was on the line. This wasn’t exactly the right time to be getting giddy because I was pressed up against my crush.

The bikes inched forward slowly and as quietly as they could as we grew nearer to the mouth of the road. Jimin pulled ahead, once again leading the way and making sure it was clear of immediate signs of danger. I watched as his head turned, first scanning the street, then looking up at the buildings, checking that windows and doors looked clear. The two men’s gazes met and they seemed to share a silent conversation before Yoongi shook his head. “It’s too dangerous,” he mumbled at the other.

“It’s the best option we have. We’ll be less noticeable going that way. We passed by earlier when we were coming this way and the place is dead, pitch black. It’s better that we’re off the streets and the trees will keep larger vehicles from following us. We have to go that way.”

I looked between the two, wondering what way they were speaking of. It didn’t exactly sound like an ideal path to take, what with the pitch blackness and the supposed trees within it. It almost sounded like we would be rolling through a forest in the middle of the city, which was totally ridiculous.

Or so I thought until we pulled up to one of the entrances of the park in the center of the city. Jimin was right. There were no path lights on to light up the sidewalks like usual. There were no couples strolling by holding hands and occasionally giving each other a peck on the lips. The sounds of children playing were simply ghost echoes in my mind as my eyes stared into the darkness. My body shivered in fear and my arms subconsciously wrapped tighter around Yoongi’s waist as I stared through the gates.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Chim,” he murmured just above a whisper. My gaze lingered on the back of his head, wondering if it was my sudden grasp of his body that had made him speak the words, but he didn’t acknowledge me, simply continued to stare at Jimin’s face as we idled there.

“We’ll be okay. We’re here now, we may as well tread forward. Just keep your lights off and stick to the path. We’ll be out in five minutes tops if we steer right.”

I swallowed a lump forming in my throat and leaned away from Yoongi as he reached for the weapons on his back. He pulled the bow from his shoulders and his gaze peered over it at me. “Know how to shoot?”

Truthfully, I didn’t, but fear had made me believe I could do anything as I nodded my head. The weapon was passed into my hands, freeing up his back as one of my arms wrapped back around to hold on, while the other cradled the bow. I silently prayed I wouldn’t be forced to learn how to shoot and that our lives wouldn’t rely on me, because we would certainly be doomed in that case, but what could I do now? I’d already said I could do it. I couldn’t just back out of it.

With a hesitant sigh, Yoongi pulled forward, following behind Jimin. We started out slow, rolling through and listening for any signs of life, but all we were met with were the sighs of the trees. Even the animals that usually scurried to and fro were out of sight, protecting themselves from those who thirsted for blood. As we wheeled our way forward, our eyes adjusted and the familiar path ahead became more visible, allowing the two men to speed up as we wove around the park, seeking out the other side.

I glanced down at my watch, lit up gently in the darkness. We had to be getting close to the other side by now. Jimin had said it would take five minutes, and it’d already been three and a half. Surely any moment we would start to see the familiar glow of the street lights and be on our way full force once again. I glanced to the right, the side Jimin was leading on, and noticed the large park pond just ahead. I remembered happier times, fishing there and skipping stones with my father when I was younger. Now it was still, only quick glimpses of the moonlight breaking through the darkness of the tree tops to alert of its presence.

It was as I was looking away that I heard it, the sounds of engines roaring from behind, and soon they were followed by a flood of headlights. “Shit,” I heard Yoongi mutter. “It’s them! Go, Chim! Step on it!”

Obeying his older friend, our bodies lurched forward as power was put into the bikes and we began to pick up speed, but we’d been too slow. The group of bikes was closing in on us quickly, faster than had been expected. My hand clung to Yoongi, my cheek pressing into his back. It was only because of this that I heard his words.

“You have to shoot them, ___! You have to use your knees to hold onto me and shoot at them!” he called against the wind.

“I can’t!”

“You have to try!”

He fell quiet and I sighed, sitting up and doing as he said, pressing my knees against his thighs and carefully slipping away. I pulled an arrow from the quiver and with shaking hands, tried to set it with the bow, but it was no use as I fumbled and failed several times.

“We’ll split up!” Jimin called from beside us now, clearly picking up on the fact that I couldn’t do this to save us. I felt a pang hit my stomach at the thought of how completely useless I was being to the two men who’d done so much for me.

“Fine, we’ll see you back at the place!” As we pulled away, I saw Yoongi look in the direction of his friend. “Be careful, Chim!” he called out to him. A hand in the air was the last we could see as he veered off to the right, the bike speeding up faster.

I glanced over my shoulder, watching a pair of headlights chase us, while a small group of others followed after Jimin, never losing any ground. I continued to watch as a gleam of light bounced off a gun that fired, creating a brief spark like fire, or the sun in the black night. My eyes watched as I heard a pop and saw what I could only imagine to be a body flying through the air, only to land out of my sight.

“Jimin!” I screamed, hot tears welling up in my eyes as more gunshots fired and I imagined the end of my friend. He was out numbered and alone. There was no one there to back him up, no one there to save him. I convinced myself of the worst. Jimin was dead. He was dead and it was my fault. I couldn’t help us when they needed me most. I couldn’t do anything right it seemed.

Yoongi, however, had managed to put considerable distance between our pursuers and ourselves. We’d made it far enough that the soft glow of the street lamps lit up in the near distance. We were almost there when a boom sounded, and before I knew what was happening, I was tumbling through the park grass, the weapon falling away from my hold. The wind had been knocked from my body as my dizzy gaze stared up into the darkness above.

“Come on,” someone whispered as a hand pulled me up to my feet. “Keep moving, ___,” Yoongi worded.

My hand slipped easily into his, holding it tightly as we took off running before I really had time to find the ground again. “But the bow and arrows!” I worried I’d lost them forever, but when I turned back around, I saw the quiver on his back and the bow in his free hand as we ran into the street and turned into a nearby alley. The sounds of the bikes grew louder as they closed the distance between us.

In the darkness of our new hiding spot, Yoongi pulled his black leather coat from his back and shoved it onto my arms. “Wear this. Don’t move a muscle. Breathe slowly through your mouth. Don’t gasp, don’t speak, don’t cry. You can do this.”

I had no choice but to obey my protector as my arms slid into the coat and he pulled the hood over my head. My mind wandered what he would do, his skin milky white and his silver hair cutting through the night like a knife. He would surely be seen. He backed me up against a dumpster, forcing me to curl up into a sort of ball and shuffling a few full trash bags around me before he darted further down the alley. I wondered if this was his way of getting rid of me, leave me to fend for myself while he made a getaway. It was a genius idea, really.

Regardless of his plan, I did as I was told, breathing slowly from my mouth and taking care not to make any noises that might give me away. It was difficult to keep my teeth from chattering against one another as I sat there huddled up in my dark corner. Headlights flooded the dark alley and a shadow appeared. It walked slowly, taking care to make sure it didn’t pass up any potential hiding places. I felt the dumpster lurch behind me, and listened as the lid was raised and the person poked around inside, probably expecting to find someone within.

I watched as the man walked by, glancing in my direction, but my face was hidden by a curtain of dark hair and the black hood. It was then that I realized I must look something like one of the trash bags I was surrounded by, and this gave me hope that we would pull through. I watched as the man walked further and my breath caught in my throat as I noticed he had stopped and was looking at something. I could only imagine it was Yoongi.

Distracted by the threat, I hadn’t noticed my head had risen and my breathing had increased. I didn’t notice a second person approaching until he was upon me, pulling me up to a standing position.

“Gotcha! Shame, you’re pretty cute, but you’re hanging out with those guys, so you’re no good to me.”

He pulled a knife from his pocket and I watched as the blade slung out. Despite my best efforts to wriggle free, his hold across my chest was tight and unrelenting. Everything seemed to go in slow motion, the way the knife rose through the air toward my throat, the way a single hot tear rolled down my cheek, the sound of a scream, followed by a prick to my back.

The knife clattered to the ground and I felt myself go free. I stepped forward quickly and looked behind me, watching my captor fall to the ground with an arrow protruding through his chest. I didn’t care that I’d been slightly cut by the weapon, I didn’t care that I was staring at a dead man at my feet. Without thinking, my legs took off at a run, headed straight for the man with the bloodied lip and beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

With little thought, my arms flung around Yoongi’s neck, my face burying in his chest as I clung to him. It took a second before a single strong arm wrapped around my waist and held me for a moment.

“Thank you,” I whispered into his shirt.

His voice was softer than usual, kinder than it’d been all night as he whispered. “That’s the second time tonight. Let’s not make a habit of this, yeah?” he teased.

For a moment, we were still, simply remained in the embrace until he finally pulled away with a sigh. His hand slipped into mine as he tugged me down the alley, toward the two bikes that had been left behind by his victims.

“Wait,” I whispered, tugging at his hand. “We have to go back for Jimin.”

He groaned and shook his head. “We can’t. We need to keep moving, get to safety. Jimin is capable of taking care of himself. He’ll be okay.”

I didn’t believe him though. If by some miracle, he’d managed to escape with his life, he’d probably been hurt. All I could imagine was his body on the ground, in pain, hoping that Yoongi and I would return to help him. “Yoongi, please,” I begged quietly.

He seemed to contemplate my request before he sighed in a grumpy manner. “Fine, but if there’s any signs of trouble lingering there, we’re splitting, okay?”

I nodded and together we approached the bikes and mounted one. Like before, my arms slipped easily around his waist as he traced our steps back to the park in hopes of finding our friend. As we grew closer, Yoongi killed the lights and slowed, our eyes scanning the area for any signs of life but finding none. Taking a deep breath, we went back into the park and in the direction we’d last seen Jimin.

A safe distance away, we parked the bike and took to our feet, looking for the other. Squinting through the darkness, I knelt down, hoping that I would be able to catch sight of the form of a body on the ground, but instead, I found something much worse.

“Yoongi!” I whispered in his direction, watching as he hurried over. My finger extended to the dark spot that tainted the grass, my stomach dropping as I looked up at him. The blood trailed toward the pond, leading us to follow it right up to the water’s edge.

“Jimin!” I softly called over the surface, but Yoongi’s hand clasped against my mouth and he shook his head. Just off in the near distance of the road, we could hear a motorbike slowly circling around the park, probably looking for signs of us.

A finger touched Yoongi’s lips to shush me as he slowly led me away. We’d almost made it back to our stolen bike when the sound returned, much closer this time. I found myself pulled into Yoongi’s chest as he pressed his back into a tree trunk, his gaze looking in the direction of the sound on the other side. His dark jacket still on my shoulders shadowed us in the night as the bike passed by. He didn’t release me when it left, though. Instead, we remained in an awkward, but comfortable embrace as my gaze drifted up to find his.

“We… We should go,” I stumbled over my words, realizing the lustful temptation that echoed in my mind, encouraging me to take his lips in my own. I scolded myself, reminded myself the longer we stood there, the longer we were in danger of being caught.

He nodded and we returned yet again to the bike, getting on and bringing it to life. As we sat there for a moment, I said a little prayer for Jimin, that his soul would rest peacefully, or he would manage to survive the night and get to a hospital first thing in the morning. At this rate, it was all I could do as we pulled away from the park without looking back.