#on a related note its nice having 2 partners who seem to find my intense hyperfixations lovable & joyful

[redrocketpanda]

In just over 24 hours, I will be getting up to go on my holiday. Instead of doing anything useful towards preparing for said holiday, I spent 8 hours playing Jurassic World Evolution 2 until 4am...

I bought a shit tonne of new dinosaur packs tho and also finished the JP2 Chaos Theory challenge tho sooooooo. Time well spent 😇

[un-beel-ievable]

Obey Me! Headcanons - The Demon Brothers react to a MC who owns a golden retriever 🐕

Author’s note: I'm home :3 Feel free to reblog, but please do not repost!! If you enjoy my writing, do leave me a like and/or a comment (and follow me to see similar content in the future :D)!

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Lucifer ☕

• When your dog first bounds over to greet Lucifer, it’s difficult to tell if the eldest born is a fan of your four-legged pal or not. The Avatar of Pride scrutinizes the ball of fluff as if he were a judge on a dog show —all the while as your dog vibrates impatiently by the front door with a tennis ball in its mouth. Perhaps it senses the need to be on its best behaviour if it’s to impress Lucifer.

• “A pet is a responsibility, not a novelty. I sincerely hope that you thought long and hard about the obligations of a pet owner before you went ahead with your decision to adopt. That being said, you appear to be doing quite well with your four-legged companion —they’re very well behaved. I have absolutely no qualms with you taking over Cerberus’s care when you return to the House of Lamentation; clearly you’d manage much more elegantly than my brothers. Perhaps Cerberus would enjoy the company of your charming pooch as well…”

• So Lucifer does like your dog. Not an entirely surprising revelation, if you’ve seen how he behaves around Cerberus in private. The strict no-nonsense archdemon turns into the softest dog owner that you’d ever have the pleasure of meeting; he’s all ear scritches and belly rubs. By the end of his visit, your dog is blissfully rolling on the carpet by Lucifer’s feet as the Avatar of Pride informs it over and over again that it is indeed “a good dog”.

• Perhaps you’ll even catch the small —but genuine— smile twitching at the corners of Lucifer’s lips as he does so.

Mammon 💳:

• In hindsight, perhaps giving Mammon a heads up about the presence of your pooch would have been a good idea.

• Despite your numerous attempts to reassure Mammon that the furry ball of enthusiasm barreling towards him is a Good Dog™, the terrified shriek that escapes the Avatar of Greed is shrill and ear-splitting enough to shatter your windows (Metaphorically speaking, of course. Rest assured, no windows were harmed in the writing of this headcanon.). When your dog leaps at him to nudge its head into his hand for scritches™ and headpats™, Mammon’s life flashes before his eyes. The only image that he can bring to mind before he passes out cold on your carpet is Cerberus’s terrifying snarl.

• When Mammon comes to, your dog is sitting on his chest —looking concerned and suitably chastised for accidentally scaring the living daylights out of the demon. (Even though Mammon refuses to come clean about how terrified he was. “The great Mammon? Afraid of a lil’ dog? W-What...What are ya talkin’ about? I wasn’t scared!”) The events that occurred over the last couple of minutes play on a loop in Mammon's mind. It finally dawns on him that your dog isn’t the ferocious beast that his imagination had conjured up, and his cheeks flush scarlet.

• Please give your demon a hug. I think he needs one. Or several.

Leviathan 🎮:

• If Leviathan had a pet ranking system, Henry 1.0 and Henry 2.0 would always claim the highest spots possible —the S-tiered, 5-star gods of the pet world. No golden retriever could ever worm its way to the top and snatch his love for them from under his feet. Sorry. But your dog is pretty cute, he’ll give you that.

• Too cute, maybe. Hey...um...you don’t love your dog more than you love him, right? What? Him, the Avatar of Envy, jealous? No! Of course not! Why would you make such an outrageous assumption? He’s not jealous —an adorable fluff ball of enthusiasm for the outdoors and joy is a way better than an icky otaku, after all. Leviathan doesn’t blame you for choosing your dog over him. Any sane individual would do the same...

• When you finally manage to reassure your demon that your dog is in no way competition for the affection that you hold for him, —he’ll always be your favourite demon, even if you have a dog. Even if you have a hundred dogs. Nothing is going to change that— he begins looking at your pooch in a different light. That’s right —as a potential cosplay partner. There’s this new anime that’s been released recently...Levi was wondering if you had heard of it? It’s titled: My Partner Is The Proud Owner Of A Golden Retriever And I’m An Otaku Who Enjoys The Simple Pleasure Of Collecting Merchandise and Cosplaying. One of the main characters happens to own a golden retriever as well, and if you’re willing to give him your blessing (the irony, I know), perhaps you’d lend him your pooch for an afternoon of cosplay and photography?

Satan 📚:

• Satan is a cultured demon who enjoys the company of four-legged companions, but he’s admittedly a fan of felines...not canines. Still, he prides himself on keeping an open mind towards new experiences, so he agrees to spend an afternoon with you and your dog (Even though he’d much rather be attending the opening day ceremony of the Devildom’s newest cat cafe. The things he does for love.).

• He performs some through research before meeting your dog for the first time; spending afternoon after afternoon in the sanctuary of his room reading about dogs and how to care for them. No number of books could prepare him for the real thing, however. When Satan first comes over to spend the afternoon in your home, he’s stiff and awkward —unsure of what to do with a dog. He ends up spending the first hour on your couch, sipping tea and spouting facts about golden retrievers.

• Show him the rope that your dog enjoys playing tug-of-war with, or the tennis ball that it insists on carrying in its jaws everywhere it goes. It takes a while for Satan to warm up to your pooch, but he’ll gradually learn to love —or at the very least, tolerate— your canine companion, even though he still firmly believes in the superiority of cats. Speaking of which, you’d accompany him on a date to that new cat cafe, right?

Asmodeus 💋:

• Oh! Your golden retriever is absolutely adorable! And gorgeous too —albeit not as beautiful as him, but that’s to be expected. There’s not a single individual in all of the three realms that could match up to his beauty. And your dog has such luscious fur too...dear Diavolo, he’d kill to have a haircare routine that’s as effective on his locks.

• Would you be willing to take a photo of him posing with your pooch? It’s for his Devilgram followers, of course —such beauty must be shared with the world, no? You’re not entirely sure if Asmo’s referring to his beauty, your dog’s beauty, or the shared, collective beauty of him and your dog. It doesn’t particularly matter. The two (three?) of you end up spending the entire afternoon orchestrating an impromptu photoshoot, and then spending the evening editing the photographs from said shoot for Devilgram.

• Generally gets along with your four-legged companion like a house on fire. There’s just one, itsy-bitsy issue.

• Your dog sheds. A ton. No matter how often you brush its fur, or how many boundaries you set about it not being allowed on the furniture, it seems determined to shed every carpet, sofa and bed that you own. Asmo never stops whining about the copious amounts of fur that now decorate every article of clothing he owns, but at least your dog seems happy to be able to leave its mark —on Asmo’s ensembles, of course, but also his heart.

Beelzebub 🍔:

• Corporate has asked you to find the difference between this picture and this picture—

• Asmo gets along well with your dog. Beel gets along with your dog even better. As one of the few only brothers who’s willing to spend any amount of time with Cerberus (granted, most of the time he’s only doing so because he’s been promised free food), Beel has grown into quite the dog lover. Your dog seems thrilled to be in the company of someone who appears to wholeheartedly enjoy its company —your dog is thrilled by the company of anyone who’s willing to give it their time of day, but still— and Beelzebub is thrilled to be in the company of a four-legged companion who appears to wholeheartedly enjoy his company. Beel is happy to spend whole afternoons playing with your dog...interspaced with the occasional snack break, of course.

• Speaking of which, Beel very much struggles with not giving into your golden retriever’s extremely convincing puppy dog eyes. Objectively, he knows that giving your dog human (or demon) food is a terrible idea —the last thing he wants is to be the reason that your dog has to take a trip to the vet. But your dog is so cute! And it’s looking at his food with such an intense longing in its eyes...Beel can relate to that. Surely a little nibble wouldn’t hurt…

• When you find yourself having to tell Beel off, suddenly you find yourself at the receiving end of 2 sets of puppy dog eyes; both Beel and your pupper are very sorry. They swear it’ll never happen again! Please don’t be upset…

• How are you supposed to stay mad at them?

Belphegor 🛏:

• ...listen.

• It’s not that he hates dogs. Honestly! He likes dogs as much as the next demon! But they can be loud and yappy and so incredibly energetic, and your golden retriever is more hyper than most. It always wants to go on walks, or play fetch, or make him throw its favourite tennis ball over and over again but refuse to hand it over so he has to engage in a slobbery game of tug-of-war to steal the ball from it —it’s just too much for the Avatar of Sloth. Just watching your dog zip across the room in a display of its endless amounts of energy is enough to tire Belphie out...is playtime over yet? He just wants to take a nap.

• Makes multiple attempts to talk you into allowing Beel to look after your dog. Just for an afternoon! His twin certainly has the energy to keep your hyperactive pup entertained for the whole day, and since you can be assured that your dog is well taken care of, perhaps the two of you could finally stay inside for once and take a nice, long nap. It’s been too long since he’s gotten to hold you in his arms…

• By the time Beel returns your dog to you, it’s all tuckered out from its day of adventures. As you’re thanking Beel for looking after your dog for the day, you catch him chuckling softly at something over your shoulder —Belphie and your furry friend, dozing off together on the couch. They appear to finally be getting along.

BONUS: I'm still not terribly comfortable with adding the (former) undatables to my writing repertoire, but my partner happens to be very fond of the demon butler...and I happen to be very fond of them. So just this once, just to see how it goes...

Barbatos 🍵:

• Oh? So this is the sweet bundle of fur that he’s heard so much about. It’s a pleasure to meet them at long last. Barbatos has always been fond of dogs, and your dog is quite an endearing creature to say the least...it actually reminds Barbatos of Cerberus when he was a puppy. How time flies.

• Treats your dog as if it were an esteemed guest of the castle. As long as Barbatos is around, you needn’t lift a finger when it comes to the care of your beloved pet. Keeping your dog fed and watered? Barbatos has it covered; the butler seems to have an in built in timer when it comes to feeding your dog —Barbatos serves its meals at exactly 6 in the morning and 6 in the evening. Not a minute early, not a minute late. When taking your dog out on walks, he carries a spare bottle of water for the sole purpose of offering it to your dog if it gets thirsty. Speaking of walks...Barbatos is more than happy to escort your pooch on walks in the event that you’re unavailable to do so yourself. Barbatos generally allows your golden to lead the way on their excursions, and is content with following along behind it to keep it out of trouble for however long it wishes to remain outdoors. If it were to tire itself out, Barbatos takes your dog into his arms and carries it the rest of the way home.

• Your pooch becomes very spoiled very quickly. It’s unclear if you’ve gained a butler...or if your dog has.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Tokyo Treat April 19

 Okay, so it occurred to me that I accidentally marked last months TokyoTreat as February <3< I hope that didn’t confuse anyone like it did me. . .

“Happy Easter to our awesome TokyoTreat family! We hope you’re ready for an exciting mix of treats in your box this month. We have a number of sweet and savory treats for you and pulled together a box of treats we hope will get you into the Easter spirit! Lookout for some special fruity flavors, crunchy crispy texures, and an all-around fun box! Are you ready? We certainly are, so please enjoy this month’s Easter Surprise box!“

Lucky Treat & Contest Prizes

(I always forget to take these pics, but since I had room I decided to get them before starting :P)

For this months Lucky Treat we have a whole plethora of Pokemon-themed goods x3 from sweets and snacks to home goods to various random knick-knacks and cuddly new plush. This would be perfect for any Pokemon fan.

Meanwhile, the prize features some adorable shiba, and some Pokemon desk figurines. They all look like a lot of fun~

Sakura Cola

Our first item is this really pretty pink Sakura Cola drink. Now, originally we were supposed to have a Banana Yogurt Fanta drink, but because of everything related to the box being curated months in advance and the last-minute switch, this new drink wasn’t put into the booklet. Instead we got a note about it, explaining that because this was such a new drink and everyone has been requesting Sakura-flavored items, they had to include this.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I wasn’t disappointed by the last-minute swap in drink items, and I love this shade of pink so I fell in love with this drink quickly. Unfortunately, as pretty as it looks... its taste is weird. 

It’s sort of like... a really light or bland cola, with a faint floral aftertaste that lingers. I can’t really say it reminds me of previous Sakura/cherry blossom tastes I’ve had. It does have a smoothness to it though, and I feel like the more I drink the better it gets. But it’s still a little weird to me.

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Our DIY for the month is a Chocolate Banana Soft Candy DIY kit we’ve already had before. I think around last Easter or some months ago, I do remember it though so I won’t be doing a review post on it. It’s great if you like easy to no instructions and like banana- but it tastes very artificial to me and the only part I like is the chocolate and candy...

Tohato Caramel Corn Tiramisu & Good Moist Chocolate

Our first item is the ever-so-popular Tohato Caramel Corn in Tiramisu flavor. This chocolate is baked with cocoa flavors and those in the tiramisu dessert, and it’s enhanced with coffee to add that extra touch.

The entire bag is 425 calories; so you shouldn’t eat these all at once or alone. I can’t say this brand is healthy, but in small doses it’s okay.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Okay, so I never actually had real tiramisu before; I think I tried it once in a set of exotic puddings I bought at the store, but it wasn’t like the actual dessert.

However, I think this tastes delicious. They’re light chocolate with a pinch of saltiness and coffee. The coffee isn’t really bitter or anything, and until reading the information i didn’t realize there was coffee flavoring in this.

If you don’t like coffee I’m not sure how you would like these; but I feel like they’re tolerable, unless you’re extremely sensitive to it.

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To go with these, with also have this off-brand bag of good moist chocolate, which is chocolate said to melt in the mouth. These come in circle shapes, but as you can see in the picture there are also some heart-shaped ones. I’m not sure why but I think it’s adorable~♥

The entire bag is 192kcal, and they have a crispy texture and are completely soaked in chocolate.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ 

See, now these actually taste bitter. They’re not bad or anything, and I like dark chocolate a lot, but I don’t think that’s what they use in these... and I found them to be meh. The booklet says they melt in your mouth (they also like these way more than I do :P), but I didn’t enjoy them enough to wait and find out. I noticed a little melting but nothing too extreme or exciting...

Okin Milk Coffee Crisps & Banana Kit-Kats

Next up we have some milk coffee-flavored little crisps (that reminds me a teensy big of fossilized dinosaur heads) by coming in a cutesy bag that resembles a canned drink!

The entire bag is 77kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

These remind me a lot of a cereal, like the rice puffs from the previous box. They taste good, a lot more coffee-ish than the tiramisu caramel corn and it lingers in the mouth more noticeably. They don’t taste bitter but again if you don’t like coffee you might not be fond on these.

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Next is an item I won’t be reviewing because we’ve had it before. These banana kit-kats are exactly the same as last years Easter box; nothing is different. They have a banana milk-ish taste I find tolerable- but I still don’t like bananas, so I usually share these ones more than the others :P

Furuta Egg Chocolate & Rice Puff Bar

Our next item is a fun one- because not only does it come in this neat egg container to go with the holiday, but the egg came in a few different colors :D but as you can see, the inside candy is essentially non-marked, dull colored M&Ms.

I’ve decided not to review these ones because hasn’t everyone had M&Ms at least once? they have a crunchy non-flavored candy shell over chocolate; which tastes a bit different than M&Ms do.

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Meanwhile, this is kind of a not-really funny story, but when I used the rice puff in this I though it was sweet because last months were. I prefer savory rice snacks, and I was very delighted to find out this was!

Sorta, it’s made with sweet soy sauce- which is absolutely one of my most favorite things ever~

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

The only way this could be better would be if the soy sauce flavoring was stronger. But to be fair it might have been back when I got this, I don’t know, it wasn’t opened beforehand.

The flavoring is light, so I want to say it’s a great blend of both sweet and savory, because it doesn’t bring to mind sugary cereal, nor does it remind one of a rice dish. It reminded me a lot of something I had before, but I can’t think of what...

Anpanman Mini-Chocolate Lollipop & Sherbet Cola Candy Stick

Who doesn’t love a good lollipop now and then? Our first item in this set is an adorable Anpanman chocolate lollpop featuring the adorable Dokinchan (my favorite anpanman character). The chocolate is half strawberry and half milk, and this is a mini one, so as you can assume they do have bigger ones. I have seen them before.

The brand is Fujiya, and this is 30kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

It’s very tasty, it reminds me a lot of those yummy apollo chocolates. The only disappointing thing is that its gone in like two seconds ;P

(Also, as a side note the top piece the chocolate is on resembles Anpanman. On the opposite end is Dokinchan, they’re so cute~)

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Our partner item is an adorable cola-flavored lollipop in a sherbet powder. The powder tastes like soda (the blue kind in Japanese candy obvs) and it has a little bit of foaminess to it~ 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Both flavors individually and together are delicious. The powder has a bit of a tanginess to it but it isn’t sour or anything, while the lollipop is sort of a mild-sweetness, so it’s not overly sugary or anything. It’s just perfect :3 I loved every second of it.

Kappa Shrimp 4-pack & Garlic Edamame Chips

Our next items are both by the brand Calbee (which I didn’t realize when I took the picture, but the color should have tipped me off?), first is the 4-pack set of Kappa Shrimp, which I won’t be reviewing because we’ve already had it before.

I will say this though. Each bag is 60 kcal, and if you like light crunchy snacks and the flavor of shrimp you’ll probably like these? A few years ago I loved eating shrimp but then I got over it, and I really don’t like seafood as a whole, so these I’m... eh, with. By that I mean, they’re not my favorite, but I don’t actually hate them.

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I always get excited when we get Japanese Chips; I’m not a huge chip fan, but I love their unique flavors! This time we got a bag of sweet edamame mixed with salty garlic to create a lovely, delicious, and crunchy blend.

Each bag is 305kcal. Which is kind of a lot, but if you share them or eat them in a few sittings it’s not so bad.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I can’t say these taste sweet or salty, they’re actually pretty peppery if you ask me. They make me think of a really yummy garlic bread with a hint of edamame, and they have a hard crunch- which I usually dislike since it makes my mouth sore, but I find it tolerable in this case~

Dragon Bar Umaibo & Corn Potage Crisps

These our are final 2 items, a special and unique Umaibo (which was part of a collab with a game I forgot the name of...) said to be “Dragon“ flavored. If you’re curious in this, I’ve seen it on Blippo.com, and the TokyoTreat online store might have them in...

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥  

So if you don’t like spoilers I’d suggest not reading this next part.

Dragon flavor is actually Soda. It tastes exactly like soda flavoring and seems a little foamy. It’s very weird, but I don’t hate it. 

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The final item is more up my alley :P it’s a corn potage snack and if you’ve been around long, you’ll remember my most favorite Umaibo is the corn potage one. So whenever we have corn portage or just corn flavored anything, I always have high hopes it’ll be good~

The bag is only 48kcal, so I feel like this would be a nice snack to have because you get a lot of them per-bag.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

They’re very delicious~ They have a typical corn/corn potage flavor and are lightly crisp. I would recommend them if you see them.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. Everything was very tasty, and if you like banana you’d probably love this one. Nothing tasted bad or was too intense, except for the banana items for me personally but it’s not fair to judge it on that. Quality was good, nothing tasted stale or expired, the repetition wasn’t too bad this time around either. 

Theme - 1 out of 5. Here was where the box kind of flopped, yes in comparison to the other boxes I can say this one is probably the most Easter oriented, but in comparison to last year I feel like it was heavily lessened. They only gave us 2 Easter items, 1 was a repeat I’m pretty sure, and the other was similar to another item we had in another box. Nothing really special or unique...

Total Rank: 7 out of 10. The items are fine and good, again I hate banana but I don’t want to discredit it over that. I’m only really disappointed by the failure of a theme. I would otherwise recommend the box because I thought everything as pretty good. Also, as I suspected, they removed the health snack. We haven’t had it for... what 3 boxes now? So far they’ve been getting rid of everything I liked DX first the cute bonus items, then the original characters, they have also been giving us the boring repetitive DIY kits too lately so I’m not too happy about that either...

♥ Cutie’s Scale of Yummy ♥

1. Garlic Edamame Potato Chips- This one gave me the stronger flavor and quantity I wanted in the corn crisps :P the flavor is a bit odd at first bite, but addictively tasty~

2. Corn Potage Crisps - Surprisingly this isn’t my #1 of the box, but only because I wish the flavor was a little stronger and it’d be nice if we had more of it~

3. Cola Candy Stick - I wasn’t sure what to expect with the “sherbet“ but the soda flavor goes well with the cola. I love both of them together and seperately~

4. Rice Puff Bar - I loved snacking on this, but the flavor needs to be stronger~

5. Caramel Corn Tiramisu - Pretty much a better version of the below, and sweeter, but not overbearingly so like previous Caramel Corn I’ve had. I love the crispy texture.

6. Okin Milk Coffee Crisps - Honestly I didn’t have too much of an opinion of these, but I do like them. The coffee taste lingers though, so I wouldn’t recommend them to non-coffee fans.

7. Anpanman Chocolate - Dokinchan is so cute, and I love strawberry. I just wish it was bigger!

8. Kappa Shrimp - Had them before, I don’t hate them and I’m sure if you like shrimp you’ll love these.

9. Good Moist Chocolate - I didn’t hate these, but I can’t say I liked them either. I loved the heart-shaped pieces though.

10. Dragon Umaibo - I didn’t hate it, but it was so weird, in a fun sort of way.

11. Sakura Cola - I love how pretty it is but I had higher hopes for it...

12.  Egg Chocolate - They weren’t anything special but I thought the egg container was cute.

13. Banana Kitkats - They were okay but because they’re nothing new and my disliking of banana... yeah...

[hartdesign-blog1]

Is Your Digital Marketing Working For You

With all the effort you put in each week, you obviously want to see your digital marketing strategies pay dividends. It’s not easy work, long hours at the computer brain-storming the best ways to attract potential customers to your marketing channels.

To make sure your digital marketing is working for you there are some basic guidelines you need to include in your online marketing.

Make Sure Your Website Is Optimised

Your website design may look cool, but do your pages clearly describe just what your company does, does it clearly identify what your products or services are? All the pages within your site need to be optimised for your specific keywords. Your marketing efforts are going to go unrewarded if you’re simply not getting traffic to your website. Effective digital marketing starts here. It’s a given that search engine optimisation simply can’t be overlooked when adding any new content to your website.

Three-quarters of all buyers are doing their due diligence online now before making a purchase. They are reading reviews, looks at your competitors, reading your blogs and taking note of your social pages. They want to find out just what sort of company you are. It’s not just about price, but how you look after your customers, how you respond to them. Face to face is becoming the old way of doing things, so it’s important your digital channels are performing at their very best.

Turning Visitors Into Buyers

Expecting visitors to rush off to your “contact us” form to hurriedly complete your form, is unrealistic. Only a very small percentage of visitors actually fill out enquiry forms. It’s important to make sure your site has a number of conversion assets, such as eBooks, white papers and email marketing subscriptions. These are all tried and tested ways of gaining more conversions.

Are you making another donation to Google this year?

I wish that the story I’m about to share was unique—but the fact is this happens all too often. We regularly see hugely wasteful paid search programs that were often implemented by well-intentioned, but ill-trained (and often very junior) in-house marketing staff or agency partners. And the costs are real.

Just last month, we were doing competitive paid search research for a client, and we uncovered something both hilarious and sad with one competitor’s paid search performance. Due to some very poorly conceived keyword bidding in AdWords, this electronics manufacturer (a competitor to our client) is spending over 70% of their paid search budget on search terms related to a now-defunct alternative Christian rock group.

It’s easy to imagine how this happened. Someone with enough knowledge to be dangerous set up a very basic AdWords program, and then didn’t know what to look for in attempting to understand how it was performing. Chances are, the marketer in charge simply thinks they pay $X for Y visits, without knowing that 70% of the visits result from only two keyword strings that are both entirely unrelated to the business. The result is thousands of dollars out the door every month with zero return—like having a hole in your bank account that drains a little bit away each month to Google. Silently. Drip… drip… drip…

As a platform, Google AdWords has been around for just under 18 years. This kind of mistake is as avoidable, as it is inexcusable, as it is expensive. But nevertheless, the story repeats itself every day.

That’s the thing about the fundamentals, I guess. They’ve always been around a while. The best time to start doing them is always 5+ years ago, and the second best time is today.

Your brand’s online presence matters now more than ever. However, with new tools and networks becoming available every day, it can be difficult to make sense of the digital marketing world, let alone figure out what’s working and what’s not.

But that’s why we hire digital marketing agencies or in-house teams of marketing gurus, right? While it’s nice to think that your marketing team is doing everything they can to ensure that your brand is killing it, this is not always the case. It’s critical that you take some time to make sure that your current marketing efforts are actually working. If not, you might be squandering money on services that just aren’t effective.

To avoid falling into this trap, consider the following channels when assessing your digital strategy:

SEO

With so many independent variables, SEO can be a tricky channel to assess. But don’t let that deter you. You don’t have to be an SEO expert to evaluate your strategy if you just ask yourself these four questions:

How many people are finding my site through organic search? This is arguably the most telling indicator of SEO success, as it shows you exactly how many people actually clicked through to your site. To find this metric, log into Google Analytics and look under the “Organic Traffic” tab. If your SEO is doing its job correctly, you should expect to see this number growing steadily over time.

How many people found my site through referral traffic? Referral traffic is the traffic your site has received through external links to your site. Your SEO, content and PR teams should be working closely together to build high-quality links with solid content on authoritative sites. With an effective link-building strategy, your referral traffic should increase as your organic traffic increases.

How have my rankings changed? Thanks to tools like seoClarity and AWR Cloud, it has never been easier to track your rankings. If you see a significant drop in rankings due to more intense competition, it may be a sign that you need to restructure your strategy.

Am I getting enough bang for my buck? Every month your SEO agency fills you in on how much traffic and how many conversions you’ve received, but have you ever sat down and done the math to calculate how much each new visitor or each conversion actually costs? After about a year of SEO strategizing, you should start seeing the benefits heavily outweigh the costs.

Forbes Agency Council is an invitation-only community for executives in successful public relations, media strategy, creative and advertising agencies. Do I qualify?

Content

"Content is king." We may be sick of hearing this, but that doesn’t mean we should stop saying it. Content is the meat and potatoes of any digital marketing strategy, which is why your content strategy must be solid in order to be successful. Keep the following questions in mind when evaluating your content strategy:

Do I have clear personas that reflect my core audience segments? In order to design content that is valuable to your audience, you have to understand exactly who your target audience is. A helpful way to do this is by creating personas and tailoring the content to them. Use this helpful guide by marketing expert Neil Patel to create customer personas and customise your content accordingly.

Am I delivering content that is valuable to current or potential customers? Just look at the amount of traffic for each piece of content using Google Analytics. Or, look at social media metrics. Are people clicking on and interacting with your content? If you see a decrease in traffic or engagement, it may be a sign that you need to re-think your content strategy.

Am I accurately tracking the performance of each piece? Google Analytics comes back into the picture once more to show you how well each piece of content you produce is performing. Look at metrics such as bounce rate, goal conversion, and the average duration of a visit.

Every brand has a story. Make sure that your content team is telling it right.

Social

With over 2 billion social media users worldwide, it’s not a channel to be ignored and not the place to risk having a poor marketing strategy. To ensure that your marketing team is showcasing your brand in the best light, ask yourself these quick questions:

Am I reaching my desired audience? If you aren’t attracting the appropriate audiences on social media, chances are you are wasting time and money on the wrong people. Look at your social media page’s followers. Are these people likely to purchase your product or service?

Can prospects use my social pages as a resource to learn about my offering without having to visit my website? It’s always important to drive leads to your website. But, it is also crucial that your social pages accurately tell your brand’s story and properly display your products or services. This can be the difference between gaining a new lead or customer and having them take their money elsewhere.

Are all of my social pages fully integrated? As Patel tells us, consistency is key. While your social team may take different approaches interacting with audience members on each social site, your brand pages should all adhere to the same brand voice.

Social media is a unique place for your customers to interact with your brand. Time spent ensuring that each social channel is fully optimized is never time wasted.

This may seem like a lot to digest, but taking the time to evaluate your digital marketing strategy is key to ensuring that you are spending your marketing budget wisely and driving conversions.

[justastormie]

I’m doing two, because I can. 

Ancient Historical meme from my drafts;

First things first: What’s their name and when and where did they live? If there are any/ you have one, add your favourite picture of them. 

Erwin Johannes Eugene Rommel (1891-1944), Germany, lived around Württemberg for most of his life, the occasional world war aside. Of historical note for being a masterful tactician, writing an important book of military theory about wwi and commanding the german forces in the north african campaign of wwii. 

Napoleon (1769-1821), France technically but had a great deal of fun on camping trips all over Europe. Of historical note for one-uping Alexander the Great. Created landmark legal, military and social organizations. List of fuckups is longer than most people’s list of accomplishments. One of the most enduring military and political legends of the modern era. Bees.

1. How and when did you first hear about them?

Rommel- I honestly can’t remember. My father is a wwii nut so i was raised on the stuff. I got serious in my interest of him about 12/13 when I first read the collection of his papers translated into English. 

Napoleon- fourth grade (about ten years old). We had a section of world history, dismal though it was. In one of the little “fun facts” thing they had a tiny little box describing Nap’s return from Elba with an itty-bitty reproduction of Steben’s Returned From Elba. I thought that sounded like the most badass thing I had ever heard, and was also a little in disbelief because surely someone can’t just walk back and reclaim their kingdom. Like, that shit didn’t happen in real life. So I bought my first biography to find out the real story. 

2. What do you like most about them?

Rommel

he tempered his ambition and leadership with compassion and a fierce sense of honor

genuinely seems to have been a nice dude

he and his wife are cute as fuck 

was later cute as fuck about his son Manfred 

was incredibly clever

was a peach eating lunatic adventurer masquerading as a srs prussian soldier 

he was a romantic both in the age of chivalry sense and the modern sense

Napoleon

SUCH A BADASS, oh my god

was an over-invested mono-maniac at all times, which I can related to

incredibly capable in many fields

i have been napoleon and josephine trash since day one

crowning himself. i just love that moment.

was really smart. on a ‘holy shit’ level. (even if he did some massively stupid shit sometimes)

meritocratic promotion structures

hamilton WISHES he were this non-stop. 

never gave up, never gave in. even on st. helena he started dedicated his energies to preserving his legend and legacy, to great effect. 

3. Is there anything about them that makes you angry or that you don’t like at all?

Rommel 

literally worked for nazis

pretty sexist

there’s a lot i disagree with him about, but very few things that make me truly pissed off. ie he was of the period opinion that military men shouldn’t be involved in politics, as he thought that would mean the military as an organization would start defining germany’s political future which would turn into military rule and he was catagorically against that. which i think is both wrong and allowed him, and others in the german army, to disclaim responsibility for political shit they didn’t agree with that was being done by their government. but i can absolutely see where he was coming from, and i think his concerns were reasonable and legitimate. 

so yeah. a lot of disagreements, but very few things that just piss me off.

Napoleon

w h e r e   d o   I   b e g i n

allowed his obsession with legend and conquest overwhelm his moral values 

sold his honor and his moral principles in order to maintain power

frequently only took into account the human cost of warfare way too fucking late

rampant misogyny

really fucked over Junot

really fucked over tons and tons of people who were loyal to him, from close friends to the soldiers who followed him

got a truly staggering number of people killed on account of his own short-sighted obsessions

to paraphrase the old tv show Wiseguy, You don’t get to shove people around just because your fire burns brighter, no matter how brilliant that fire is. 

never gave up, never gave in. even when he fucking should have, looking at you reasonable peace terms of 1813. 

4. If you had one day with them in our present time - what would you do together?

Rommel - Aviation museum, he’d absolutely love it. I’d get him to pick some German place to eat and interrogate him ruthlessly about what inter-war rural Germany was like. 

Napoleon- Smack him repeatedly in the face for invading Spain  Walk and talk. Have him show me around Paris and have a debate over legal systems. Nerd out over Ossain. Show him a modern bookstore. Let him see how much of his work has survived into the present day. Shove him into at least one shrubbery.

5. What would you like to talk about with them?

Rommel - Engineering, aviation, dogs and funny army stories

Napoleon- All of the things. I can only imagine the conversation would be a pinball game of madness as to topics covered. And okay. I’d have to ask about Waterloo. I’d be that person. I don’t think he’d do it, but I’d love to hear him talk about Corsica. 

6. In which way do you identify most with them or a figure they created?

Rommel - He was an intensely practical man who tried very hard to do the right thing and frequently failed. I hope that one day I’ll have the strength of character to try to rectify my mistakes as he did his. 

Napoleon - I too am an over-invested, bossy weirdo. 

7. Thoughts about their death? E.g.:Was it too early, was it deserved, woud you have tried to prevent it and how? 

Rommel- oh god TOO EARLY, UNDESERVED, that poor brave bastard. I mean the fact that he was murdered because of his role in a plot to overthrow hitler and make peace with the allies is reason enough. would have definitely tried to prevent it, but would need like. the a-team to stop it. because you’d have to rescue not only rommel but his family that was being used as leverage against him. unless you’re allowed to go really far back and then i’d just start slapping the shit out of everyone at the versailles peace conference.

Napoleon - hoooo boy. uuuuuuuh. i mean. do i like it how he died? no. does that dislike come from a rational place? ...nooo. best case scenario for me would be he gets shot before the last charge of waterloo. hell if i had my way i’d go back and convince him what REALLY needed done was him personally leading the imperial guard up the hill. heroic, dramatic death and historians get to fight over wellsley actually beat napoleon for the rest of forever. europe also gets a break from napoleonic insanity. which doesn’t happen if napoleon gets to live. once more if you’re allowed further back, i slap the shit out of him before he invades Spain and point out that Ireland is lovely this time of year (it’d still be a clusterfuck, but less of one).

8. Is there a book or movie etc. you would recommend to someone who’s new to the person and would like to learn more about them?  

Rommel - The Rommel Papers is a good place to start, there are frequent letters to his wife but the content is primarily military. 

Napoleon - Shannon Selin’s website and book. The book is fiction but she is the lord our god in this fandom for her mad research skills. She provides sources for everything, which makes her the perfect jumping off point. (Now if I can just convince her that what she REALLY needs to do is write another book starring josephine) 

9. What can we learn from them? 

Rommel - when in doubt, bluff like a motherfucker right action is not a mystical, obvious thing at all times, we must do what we believe is right to the best of our abilities while being willing to let compassion guide us onto different paths.

Napoleon - 

human beings are capable of astonishing intellectual and physical feats, and the best of our stories can still be written, they are not confined to antiquity. 

find friends who will support your goals and then listen to their good advice even when it challenges your ego. 

if loud, bossy weirdos can find devoted friends and romantic partners than we’ve got a pretty good shot too.

don’t invade spain

propaganda is half the battle

love, in all its forms, is a resilient motherfucker

don’t interrupt your enemy when he’s making a mistake

strive to be so badass that hundreds of years later, the historical fiction that is all about fighting you has their characters become complete fanboys any time you actually show up (ft. Richard Sharpe in Down With The Tyrant But OMG Harper Look It’s Napoleon *SWOON*, hon. mention also goes to William “Why Aren’t I French” Laurence). 

a willingness to take charge is half the battle for power

bees are a cute fashion accessory and go with anything  

10. Would you want to be friends with them if they were still alive? 

Rommel - I think he’d be a good Dad Friend to have. Someone to ask for advice and go to reenactments with. A good person for moral/personal advice even if their political/social views are outdated. Definite bonding over dogs.

Napoleon - Would entirely depend on how we met. I feel like we’re similar enough on a personal level that it’d be very easy for our personalities to clash, and we’d have to declare ourselves mortal enemies and neither of us would back down from that because what is admitting you might have been hasty. Or, if fate were kind, we’d get on splendidly with constant low levels of dry sarcasm and prank wars. There would also be lots of emotions everywhere, at all times. People would hide. I have to admit I’d still stab somebody if it meant I got to be a Marshal. 

11. The most powerful quote by or about them?

Rommel - have  short one and a long one

"We have a very daring and skillful opponent against us, and, may I say across the havoc of war, a great general." 

- Winston Churchill during 1942. During the fucking war. I mean damn, it doesn’t get better. Though since this is easily the most famous quote about him, have a personal favorite;

“Living legends, they project, each in his way, the classic image of a the warrior: brave, vigorous, sharp of eye and mind, rapid in decision, alert in danger, faster and bolder in the fight than his enemies. of this extraordinary brotherhood is Rommel-the brotherhood of Hector, of Rupert of the Rhine, of those who can only be described as heroes; and it is curious that so determinedly practical a modernist as Rommel-the least fanciful of men- should have joined a company so bonded by myth.” 

-David Fraser from Knight’s Cross: A Live of Field Marshal Erwin Rommel

Napoleon - 

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others

i mean; 

History is a set of lies agreed upon. 

- Napoleon at some point, i’m not sure. But i’ve always loved it and found it apt. 

[journal911]

why this must end, part 2

Relationships are supposed to be hard. They’re supposed to be a push and pull. Two people can’t go through life, living side by side, without struggling to communicate, relate, compromise, or be happy, at least a little bit. It’s supposed to be hard, because life is hard. 

But--life is hard. So relationships shouldn’t be so hard that they make life harder. A relationship should alleviate the burden of life despite moments of pain. Those moments of pain should reveal growth and appreciation and a deeper connection. A relationship should not make someone suffer without purpose.

Our relationship does not alleviate the burden of life, at least for me. Work alone for me has been so painful and all-consuming that all I have needed for the past year is a companion, someone to lean on, someone I can rely on to be there when I need it most. But every night I come home to an empty bed. Every night I come home to an empty inbox. I go weeks without seeing you, and sometimes when I do see you you are completely wrapped up in your own world that it’s like I’m not even seeing you at all. I beg you to be with me and to be present and you fight me, tooth and nail, every step of the way. Call me petty. Say that it’s not you to be “that way”. It’s not just about listening to me talk about work; you will listen to me talk, if I start the conversation. It’s about being with me. Being a companion. Knowing that I can see you whenever and you’ll be happy, satisfied, excited. Knowing that I can call you and not feel like I should apologize for interrupting your life or whatever you were doing, even if it was nothing at all. Knowing that I can make plans with you without the worry that later on down the line you’ll find something better to do, or change your mind because it’s no longer what you want to do. Knowing that you’re there, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I have to beg for that now. I shouldn’t. I have to scream and cry to no avail until finally you get tired and say, in essence, “whatever”, and spill an empty promise you know you’re not going to keep. I cry myself to sleep several times a week. Not necessarily because of you, but because of stress and anxiety and loneliness. All I want is you to be there for me, the way I have been there for you, picking up the phone at 2, 3, 4 in the morning when you’re panicking, cooing you back to sleep. Listening to you breathe on the other side for an hour just in case you wake up again. Sometimes, if I call you too late, you won’t answer and then you won’t call me back at all. Or you’ll text me sometime the next day saying, “missed your call, what’s up”. As if I just had some “petty” shit to talk about and it didn’t really matter. It matters. I matter. 

Our relationship has made me suffer. I have spent so many moments crying in a corner of a wedding, or splayed across my floor, or chain-smoking on my front stoop, or head buried in a pillow, or in my office, or on a subway, or in an airport, or...I have spent so many more moments crying over the fact that you don’t care that I’m crying. Calling me petty. Saying that what I am upset about is bullshit, and that you’re not going to change, and that “this” isn’t going to work. It’s frustrating, because you play that as your trump card, like you know it’s going to shut me up because you said something bigger than the problem at hand: you’re mad I didn’t dance? This isn’t going to work, because I am who I am and I’m not going to change. When you say things like that, of course, me wanting to dance seems petty in the scheme of our entire relationship. But isn’t it also petty that you won’t dance with me just to make me happy for an evening? It’s not like we have so many evenings of dancing, or so many evenings together at all, that you can sit one or two out and I won’t notice. This is just one example, a recent example, of you framing the conversation, where whatever I get upset over is insignificant in comparison to the person you are as a whole. It has manipulated me into thinking that none of the things that I want or care about really matter that much. And that’s really fucked up, because who I am, and what I want, is just as important as who you are, and what you want. And usually at this point in the conversation, I give up. Sometimes I even say sorry. Rarely, we compromise. Always, I’m disappointed, upset, and alone. My friends are worried about me. They say that I’ve changed, that I’m darker, sadder, less social. They don’t understand how I cry so much, because I never really cry at anything else--I’m usually so stoic, so calm and level-headed. Something about you gets me, and its a combination of the intense love I have for you and the extreme frustration I feel when trying to reason with you. The things I ask from you are the very basics of what a relationship is, and still somehow you find a way to say that I’m being unreasonable, and that I’m asking too much. All I want is:

1) Consistent communication

2) Frequent quality time spent together

3) Empathy and sympathy for one another’s needs and desires

4) Efforts made toward meeting one another’s needs and desires

5) Compromise pursuant to disagreements or differences in opinion

This is not unreasonable to request in a romantic relationship, nor a regular friend or family relationship. It’s the basis of how to be in any relationship, period. Note that I didn’t add anything about “romantic gestures” or “living together” or “follow me on social media” or “become friends with my friends” or “go on dates” or “plan for the future”, all of which would also be considered reasonable expectations for a romantic relationship, and also, all of which I’ve either done for you, requested of you, or both, but that you have shot down on multiple occasions. (Literally denying my Instagram follow request! Ha.) And honestly, the fact that those things aren’t present in our relationship have worn on me, but I’ve stopped asking because I know they’re never going to happen and I love you too much to let them get in the way of a relationship with you. But those few things I listed as the “basics” are necessary to call what we have a relationship. And they’re not present. They’re not even close to present. 

1) You call me sporadically, if at all. If I call you or text you, you usually don’t respond for a while, or you’re so quiet it’s awkward. You express little interest in the things I have to talk about other than basic mmhmms and “cool”, unless it has to do with stocks or something else you’re personally interested in. If I disagree with what you have to say, you say that I’m being too sensitive, not good at debating, short-sighted, or something similarly patronizing. You do talk to me about work sometimes, which is nice.

2) We spend maybe 3-4 days a month together, and you argue regularly with me when I say I want to spend more time with you. You tell me I’m being needy when I get upset about going many days without seeing you. When we do see each other, you are on your phone playing Yu-Gi-Oh for a long enough chunk of time for me to be annoyed, and then you get pissed when I tell you that. I’ve tried to come to your house, but it’s currently a mess and you’ve discouraged me from doing so for the last month and a half. When I ask you to come into the city, you say no, or if you say yes, you complain about parking, the drive, the cost, the time, etc. so much that I feel guilty for even asking you to come in in the first place.

3) You tell me the things I desire and need are “petty” and “bullshit”. You get immediately angry when I express my feelings or opinions, and speak to me curtly and forcefully. Your tone is consistently condescending and impatient. If I express emotion, such as raising my voice or crying, your tone becomes even more hurtful. You curse, sometimes at me, and sometimes calling me names. I can’t remember the last time I expressed the way I felt to you and you asked me questions, tried to figure out what’s wrong, or apologized for hurting my feelings. I often feel like you’d prefer me to not say anything at all than express the way I feel.

4) There have been times that you’ve tried to accommodate my needs and desires--I really loved when you brought me flowers and made me dinner on our anniversary. I appreciated that you came to those weddings with me. I loved that you sent me flowers on Valentine’s Day and took me on an awesome date. But generally speaking, these efforts are not the norm. My needs and desires are usually ignored when considering numbers 1-3, but also with stuff like: wanting to do things together; using the word “we” or planning things together; acting in any way like we’re a couple. That’s a need of mine: to feel like you’re my partner. I’ve expressed this to you, and you’ve made efforts toward the opposite, to actually back farther away from me than before. To tell me you don’t know if you ever want to move in, if you’ll ever feel ready, that you’ll resent me if it happens too fast, that we aren’t family yet, that you want to have two separate lives, that you want to feel like you have a place to get away from me. Like damn.  

5) You end nearly every disagreement with “I’m not going to change”, “this isn’t going to work”, or “I’m not talking about this anymore, this is bullshit, I told you from the start who I am and I’ve never changed that.” Compromise isn’t something you’re familiar with in any of your relationships, because no one has ever demanded it. You don’t go deep with virtually anyone, so it hasn’t been necessary. But like, compromise isn’t screaming at and berating someone, wearing down their will to argue. Compromise isn’t empty promises. Compromise is actually acting in a way that satisfies both people, even if both people also have to give up a little of what they want. I’ve given up a lot for you. I’m moving to Newark instead of saving up for a house in New York because you refuse to move to New York. And I was happy to do that, but it was a sacrifice for me to move from my family and friends in New York to live with you in Jersey. It is a consistent sacrifice to refrain from talking to you and seeing you so that you can feel free and unbound; I have so many things that I need to talk about with my partner, but I feel like I can’t because you don’t want to, so I either have to swallow it or talk to someone else or just distract myself until it passes. It’s a sacrifice to spend money on things to help you be presentable--your clothes, your car, your house, our vacations, our dates. These are all compromises I was and am willing to make because I love you, and I want you to be happy, and I want you to be with me. But the other side of compromise is you returning those favors with favors of your own. Is this selfish? Yes. But isn’t it really fucking selfish to be sitting on your side of the table, receiving and receiving without giving what is asked in return? I recognize that you feel that you’ve done and sacrificed a lot for me as well, and I appreciate the things you have done and do to try and make me feel loved. But at a certain point, talking about my financial health and doing the dishes or cooking me a dinner every once in a while does not cut it. I need more. 

I fucking hate this, and I hate that I have to do this, but I really do. I have to take care of myself, because you’ve proven time and time again that you will not, and that you refuse to modify your behavior in any way to meet basic relationship standards and/or my needs and desires on a consistent basis. I feel like I have tried everything I possibly can to make this work, including going to therapy, talking with you for countless hours, and giving up my personal happiness to accommodate your desires. This is not an equal relationship, and I can’t do this anymore.

I love you.