#oml tanent but had The Worst comedown from ket . and i had a homeless friend crashin w me(theyrehoused now nw) but they were there
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nicodaws · 2 years ago
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. hi irls dont read this pls thanks . honestly no1 read this is so incoherent i just wanna put it somewhere bc im too in my head .
#tw whatever idk#tag later#or delete later idk#anyway hahahahha im feeling so fuckin . suicidal . again .#but like#at least im lowkey scared of it this tiem#idk ive been doin way mor drugs recently and ots kinda freaking me out when im sober bc i dont wanna be that person?#qnd i just feel like im being a person i dont fucking like#like im being mean when im high n tryna fix it sober and also being mean sober n tryna fix it and tryna not make my friend group fall apart#but also kinda the split btween ppl doin drugs n not doin em is half the reason its fallin apart#and my closest friends dont do a lot and im still closest w them but ik theres this split and#i just feel like im causin sm problems and#comedowns keep makin me miserable#oml tanent but had The Worst comedown from ket . and i had a homeless friend crashin w me(theyrehoused now nw) but they were there#and i was having the worst sensory overload misery . and was just sobbing and tellun them 2 fuck off#and it was SO HORRIBLE and i cant BELIEVE i put my friend through that like what the fuck was i thinking#and idk#im just rambling but im scared of addiction and i dont think im there yet but#i wanna be high coz i spenf all my time sober upset w myself#and its all makin my depression so bad and im broke as shit and im just#idk#sorry if u read this#dont worry abt me or anything ill be fine#cant fuck up too bad my mum n sibs will notice and im spending a lot of time worrying about what they would think of me rn#im just really really upset w myself rn i know i did bad on some coursework ik i couldve done well on#and ik im messing things up and ik im worrying my bf and my friends and i#just . idk. im just upset#anyway . yeah . sorry abt this rant
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