#omg it took me like an hour to answer this because tumblr's being weird

[lavellenchanted]

is there a way to read begin again (edwina’s version)?

I'm afraid not at the moment, anon, it needs a lot of work before I can post it - there are some snippets on my blog but here is a new one for you!

--

1815, Edwina had decided, was going to be different.

She was going to be different.

The girl she had been a year ago was gone - there was no helping that. That girl had been sheltered and naive, content to be guided by those around her, and there was no going back to that even if she wished to; once an illusion had been shattered, it could not be pieced back together.

In the months between the Seasons, she had felt adrift, finding herself for the first time without any vision of her future. Her entire life she had been preparing for marriage, to be a wife and mother and to run a household, and all her plans had been made with the certainty that she would have a husband by the summer. Only that had not come to pass and now she could not help but wonder if it ever would. 

Who was she, when that was all stripped away? What was she to do with herself now? The idea of simply pretending none of it had happened - the lies, the betrayal, the pain - and waiting to try again the next year left a sour taste in her mouth. But when she tried to imagine any other sort of future for herself, she kept coming up blank, and that frightened her even more.

At first she shied away, not wanting to dwell on questions to which she had no answers. She lost herself in her books and took long walks and resolutely did not think about how she felt as if she were walking on a tightrope, her balance precarious, and that one wrong step would send her plummeting down. But as summer slipped away and autumn began to paint the world in gold and red, the promise of the next London Season growing ever closer, she realised she had to face the question of what came next.

In the end, she had come to a simple conclusion. She could not be the same, so she would be different. 

Perhaps she would never be the girl she had been, but she could be someone else. A young woman who had suffered disappointment and had her heart broken, but who had healed all the stronger for it. A woman who had the chance to learn who she really was, to think about what she wanted and not just what was expected of her so that she could walk her own path towards a future that she had chosen for herself.

At least, that was the plan . . . 

. . . but given that she was currently having trouble simply choosing fabric for a dress, Edwina was beginning to think it might be trickier than she had anticipated. 

As part of her sponsorship for this year’s Season, Lady Danbury had offered to pay for an update to her wardrobe. Edwina had been reluctant at first; a part of her suspected the offer was made out of guilt, or perhaps pity, for everything that had happened last year, which her pride naturally bristled against - not to mention that she disliked taking more of Lady Danbury’s money than was necessary. When she had voiced her reservations to her hostess, however, she had been met with a derisive snort in response.

“It would not reflect well on me to parade you about in last year’s fashions,” Lady Danbury had said firmly, with one of those looks that made it clear she would brook no argument so there was no point in attempting one. Edwina had tried in private to imitate that look, but could never manage it. “And that simply will not do. I will not invite gossip this year if I can avoid it, Miss Sharma, nor will I give anyone cause to claim I am a poor hostess.”

That may have been partially true, but Edwina was not convinced it was the sole reason she was offering. Still, it was clear that Lady Danbury was determined - and truthfully, the idea of a new wardrobe was appealing, and not only for vanity’s sake. After all, could she really be a new Edwina if she kept dressing as she had before? Was an external change not a good way to show everyone, including herself, that she really was a different person now? 

Her mother had accompanied her to Madame Delacroix’s shop, but Edwina had asked to browse the fabrics by herself. That had been well over twenty minutes ago now, and she could sense Mary sending concerned glances her way where she stood patiently looking at ribbons and making polite small talk with other ladies that were out shopping. 

The problem was, for all Edwina wished to make her own decision she also wasn’t sure what, exactly, she wanted to choose.

She knew what she didn’t want, which was more dresses in pink. Nearly every single gown she had was some shade of pink or peach, apart from one or two in debutante ivory, and once she started thinking about it she had realised she wasn’t even sure she liked pink - or at least, she had only liked it in a vague, general sense, but it certainly had never been her favourite colour and she did not love it so much that she wished to wear it every day without variation. It was just something she had become used to; everyone had always commented on how much the colour suited her when she wore it, and it was appropriate for a new debutante, so Edwina had never questioned it as her wardrobe slowly became more and more monochrome.  

There would be no pink dresses in 1815. 

[makeste]

literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.

so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.

so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).

why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.

why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.

why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.

why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.

why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”

why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.

why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.

why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.

why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”

why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.

why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”

why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk

why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.

why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.

why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.

why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).

why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.

why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.

why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.

why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.

why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.

why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.

why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.

why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.

why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.

why I like it: peak. gremlin.

why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.

why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.

why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.

why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.

why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.

why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.

why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.

why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.

why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.

why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.

why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.

why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.

why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.

BONUS:

WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.

happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.

[writingoneshots]

Hey uhm first of all I just wanna say, your fics are really good!😭❤ secondly, I appreciate the amount of effort you put in to your fics so thank you so much!

How about having an argument with Zoro, Sanji, Ace and Law and f!s/o accidentally says "i hate you", what would their reaction be like?

Angst but fluff and comfort ending if u may omg agsjsvs

N e wayz, have an amazing day bub!❤🥺

Sensitive Topic

Hello softiebadbitch :) ! love this name.

I wasn't really sure how to add 4 readers into one story but I think I found a good solution. It's clear to me that you wanted to have 4 separate stories but this would have been too long for one post and you can't use one request for several posts.. sadly. Hope this fixed it - I made one general story and continued with 4 different endings. All of them are in the reader version but the 'extra girlfriends' have their specific names to not make it too complicated.

Kind of like this way of writing.. wouldn't mind more requests like this :) ! Thanks for letting me explore this new style even though it probably wasn't intended.

And thank you so much for the kind words. I really appreciate it <3 especially because I don't know if anything I write is good enough for Tumblr or literally any request. Thank you, thank you, thank you <3 !

- Ace x reader - ZoroxRey, SanjixAna, LawxValeria (if one of these names is yours.. you're welcome) - 2,774 words (but it's a 4 in 1 story) - lovey-dovey, little pain in our chest, signs of smut, still SFW, cute moments

Spending some girl-time with your closest best friends was a really rare occasion after spending years on many pirate ships. Especially bonding with female human beings was hard. But since you were dating Ace, you finally got the chance after meeting his friends. Some of them were already in a relationship with their current partners and the rest just started dating. After a successful shopping day, you spend the rest of the evening in the fanciest diner on this island and booked a whole room just for you and your better halves. The men were probably still training or doing something unimportant, but none of you cared. "Can you believe the guy from the bakery? He dared to follow us around just to carry our bags..?", Rey laughed and finished her second glass of wine. "Just please don't tell Sanji about it. He is already heartbroken because I went shopping without him.", Ana pouted and sighed a bit sad. You rolled your eyes, "Stop whining. This is the first time after eight months that we could hang out together. And we didn't have to worry about carrying something." "Plus, the guy seemed to be really into you, Ana.", Rey smirked and gave her a flirty wink. "Stop saying that! Sanji could come here any minute! You know how jealous he can get!", Ana warned Rey and glared at her. This was the worst timing ever. "Jealous? Why?! Did anyone touch you?!", Sanji's eyes were already in flames and he almost teleported himself to his girlfriend after hearing these words. The men decided to join you all on the right - or maybe wrong? - time and chose to mock the conversation. "Probably some weird girly things, we don't wanna know about.", Ace grinned and sat down right in front of you. The men sat down on the other side of the table and didn't even choose to greet them with a hug or a kiss, except for Sanji, who could barely let his fingers of Ana. You raised an eyebrow at Ace's comment, "What?" "Just kidding! You had probably something important to talk about.. like which nail color you're supposed to get next week.", Ace added and high-fived Zoro. "Or what hairstyle you should make to match your earrings!", Zoro couldn't stop laughing at his own comment. Ace turned to Law for another high five but he just glared at the topless pirate. "What? You're leaving me hanging like this?!" "Don't drag me into this.", Law turned away from him and faced Valeria, who seemed pleased by his answer. The others were not though. You were still confused by Ace's behavior but slowly understood that he tried to be as manly as possible in front of the others. Sanji sat down on his place after failing to convince Ana to have her sit on his lap. "What do you mean? An hour ago you were talking about how Valeria tried to draw her eyeliner but ended up looking like a panda!", Ace laughed and high-fived Zoro again, who seemed to feel a bit unsure about Ace's comment now. Rey looked down at her drink, already realizing how quickly the mood changed since they started making fun of all of you. Valeria was shocked. She didn't know how to respond and just shook her head, ignoring Law's desperate look on his face. "That's enough, Ace.", you talked silently and poured yourself some wine, not caring about the waiter offering to do it for you. "What.. I-", Ace froze after seeing your face. It pained him to see you being disappointed and he didn't know how that happened. "I am sorry if I have offended anyone.. we were just talking.. ", he cleared his throat and began to feel uncomfortable. He didn't see that coming. "Then maybe you should stop it", you were still not able to look up. "Stop what? Talking?" "Yes.", your eyes flashed up to him now. He didn't expect to see the anger in them. Ace has never seen that glare directed at him. It felt way too painful. "Okay, everyone. Let's calm down now and enjoy this dinner.", Sanji tried to cool down the situation and looked at the food, which didn't look good enough for his girlfriend. "Gonna be hard when you're here.", Zoro commented under his breath and was already eating his meal. "Huh?!", Sanji clenched

his teeth and tensed all his muscles to not smack Zoro for that comment. "Can you just calm down, you two?!", Ana took a deep and annoyed breath, trying to stay calm in this uncomfortable scenario. Ace couldn't stop but to look at you, ignoring him now. "Valeria-" "Don't.", she stopped Law from whatever he was trying to say. Everyone was quiet. Nobody was eating. "..anyone want some extra bread?", the waiter whispered and stood behind you, holding up a basket with fresh bread.

-----

Ace x reader When you arrived in the room of your hotel, you still didn't dare to say a word. You were still furious about his behavior, especially because this wasn't the first time he dared to say something like that. "(Y/N), I am-" "I don't want to hear it." "Please, just let me-" "I said, that I don't want to hear it.", you hit your jacket onto the bed and let go of it a few seconds after. Taking a deep breath, Ace pressed his lips together and didn't know what to say or do. You two never had a fight like this and he feared to say something wrong, which would make you leave him. "I don't want us to go to bed angry.", he whispered sadly and stepped closer to you. You just froze and closed your eyes, trying to remain calm. "You always do this.. every time you make fun of something I do. I stopped talking about my hobbies and literally anything that makes me happy and you caught a glimpse of us having fun, and immediately you chose to mock it..." Ace frowned at that and thought back to all the times he tried to have fun with you. He never understood any of your hobbies or what girls liked, which is why he tried to spend some time with you by making jokes but it never occurred to him that it was actually hurting you. "Why did you never tell me that? I didn't know that it hurt you.." "Because I shouldn't need to tell you! I hate when you try to make fun of me or other people like that! You literally took the joy of me doing my hair, trying to learn how to skateboard or even baking muffins! I hate this, I hate the fights and I hate yo-" Both of you froze right on your spots. "Oh my God..", tears were rolling down your eyes and your knees weren't able to support you any longer. You immediately went down to your knees and hid your face in your hands. "I didn't want to say this.. it slipped.. I don't hate you, Ace!" Your heart was aching at what you were about to say. Ace didn't feel any better. He sat down right next to you and watched you wiping your tears away. "I have caused this... I am sorry, (Y/N).. This will never happen again, I promise. I just wanted to be a part of something in your life.", he took a deep breath and pulled you onto his lap. "I will find another way. Just please.. don't hate me." You shook your head and hugged him tight back, hiding your face in his neck and never ever letting him go. --- Zoro x Rey Zoro came out of the shower, just a towel around his hips and water still dripping down his naked chest. This was usually a sight, which made you jump right onto him but not this time. The pirate hunter had hoped for you to fall for it because he was really bad at apologizing but he knew you had a stronger will than him. He would have fallen for it. You were already in bed, cuddled into your pillow and ignoring him professionally. "Rey.. I can feel that you're not sleeping.", Zoro approached the bed and sighed when you didn't respond. "..are you mad at me?", he whispered now carefully. You raised an eyebrow at this provocative question and pressed your lips together, trying not to give back a stupid answer. But your mouth responded faster than your brain. "No, I am super happy about today's events. We can repeat that tomorrow again, if you feel like making fun of women-things.", you added in a sarcastic tone. "So.. that's a yes?" You turned around, the pillow tight in your grip and pulled the pillow with a loud thud onto his face. When you took the pillow away, you narrowed your eyes at his provocative smirk. "Definitely, yes." "Shut up.", you sighed and were about to turn around again but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to the other side of the bed until you were facing him. "Stop running away from your problems all the time, lady." "I really hate when you are doing this!", you tried to free your arm from his grip. "What?" "Using your strength to make me do whatever you want to!" "This is literally the reason, why you started dating me. Because I am not a weakling, who gets dragged by everyone like your stupid exes. But if you really hate it, then that means you must hate me

too, right?", he leaned forward, making sure not to miss any sort of reaction in your eyes. You looked at him surprised and didn't know what to say. After a few seconds, you shook your head and sighed a bit. "I couldn't hate you for being you. I hate the fact that you're making fun of girl-things all the time." "Alright, I'll stop then.", Zoro promised and let go of your hand. He turned around and went to the pile of washed clothes on the couch to pick out something to sleep in. Right.. I forgot how easy it can be in a relationship. You talk, promise and go on. Not believing what he just did, your brain had a thousand thoughts about what would happen during this night but it did not involve any sort of clothes. You stood up, went to him, and pulled away his towel. Zoro turned around, surprised by your decision, "Oj.. bad girl." --- Sanji x Ana After this emotional and very unusual dinner, you decided to have some tea. Sanji was still in your bedroom preparing a bath for you even though you've told him that you weren't in the mood for it. You hid in the kitchen and cooked some water, while preparing the rest. While you were looking for the honey, which he was hiding from Luffy, Sanji entered the kitchen. "Oj, what are you doing?", he approached you and immediately figured that you were making some tea. "Just something to warm myself up with a sweet taste.", you smiled a bit exhausted and felt Sanji's arms around you in an instant. "I am sorry for today.. I know that I promised you to not get triggered because of that marimo but his bare existence is to annoy me.", Sanji tried to brighten the mood and gave you a soft kiss on your head. "No, it's okay.. I am already used to it. I just wanted to have a chill day with the girls and this fight kind of ruined everything again.", you shrugged and leaned softly onto him, enjoying his muscular arms supporting you. "Oh.. so you don't hate me, right?" You laughed softly. The relationship had only just begun and Sanji had to question every move of yours. "I could never...", you looked up to him and kissed his warm lips softly, forgetting about everything that had happened in the last hour. --- Law x Valeria Law used his room ability to create a bubble surrounding the two of you. He carefully stepped closer and put his arm around your waist only to see you turn your head away from him. He tensed his jaw, trying to hide the sudden strike of pain in his chest and just decided to ignore it for now. "Shambles." You found yourself in your and Law's bedroom. After a few seconds, you just freed yourself from his arm and went straight into the bathroom, locking yourself in. Law just stood there, not knowing what to do or say. He had definitely hurt your feelings but he didn't know how to apologize for it. "Val..", he closed the distance slowly to the door and tried to listen to whatever you were doing inside. It sounded like you were throwing something away and sniffling quietly. Fuck.. "Valeria.. what are you doing?" "Cleaning.", your response was sharp. Law knew that he was a genius, who could solve the hardest puzzle on this planet or even have a detailed discussion with Robin, but even Luffy or Kid would have been able to figure out what you were doing right now. "Stop throwing away your things. I like it when you put on your make-up." "Are you sure about that? Or are you going to call me a dog or a salamander the next time you talk to others?!", you wiped away your tears and threw away the rest of the make-up, which you bought today. "Stop overreacting. I was just talking about your eyeliner the other day and you hated it too. Take out the make-up again and forget about it.", he sighed and knew that this wasn't something he should say but he also knew that it would trigger you enough to get out of the bathroom. "You know what-!", you opened the door harshly and stepped out, pointing your index finger at him. Law had a hard time hiding his cheeky smile because he already knew you well enough. "I hate what you're doing! Always talking about me behind my back! I hate

you for it!", you crossed your arms at your chest and took a deep breath, trying to control the last brain cells, which are still able to hold you back from kissing his cheeky smirk. The pirate captain raised an eyebrow at that and needed a second to choose his next words wisely. "Did you just tell me that you hate me?" "I said that I hate you for it! Not that I hate you!" "This is literally the same..", Law tilted his head a bit and couldn't quite accept that. "I hate it when you talk about me behind my back before talking to me personally. You were the first one to say 'I love you' but not directly to me.. no! You said it to Bepo first and he told me. Then you said that you preferred my soft cookies more than the brownies but again: you didn't tell me! You told Sanji! And to the newest 'Law is a wimp and can't tell his girlfriend anything personally', you told the boys that I looked like a damn panda!" "But a cute one..", Law smirked now and stepped closer, putting his hand on your cheek softly. You were just about to smack it away but Law was faster. He pushed you against a wall within a second and pressed his body against yours. His hand rested on your neck and he pressed his thumb against your chin, forcing you to look up at him. "Say it again, Valeria..", he purred your name in his dangerously sexy voice. "Say that you hate me." You frowned at his reaction and didn't really understand how this turned him on. "No, you weirdo." "Say it.", he commanded now and leaned closer to you, your lips barely touching. "Make me.", your last brain cells just said their goodbyes. A harsh sound of him pulling out his belt appeared beside you and you couldn't look away. His eyes were focused on yours as if he'd die if he'd miss anything for a second. "Don't tell Bepo.. but you're my favorite panda." "You fucking... I really hate you now.", you spoke through your teeth and tried to push him away. The most heartwarming laugh escaped Law's lips and he immediately locked his lips with yours, not giving you a chance to respond to him laughing. Law pulled your arms behind your back and tied them with his belt. "That's my girl.", he whispered in between your kiss and didn't let go of you for the rest of the night.

[the32ndbeat]

describe your mutuals as types of youtubers

man, i’ve been seeing a lot of these around! thank you anon for sending me this ask, this is gonna be interesting XD ( also p.s i love your brain, i’d never have been able to think of asks like that )

here goes!! ( i’m relatively new on tumblr so if yours is completely inaccurate i’m sorry lmao )

kara ( @heyy-sicheng​​ )

for some reasons i can see kara doing family vlogs

kinda like shaytards!

she just seems like such a sweet and family oriented person

the aura she has is just so warm and lovable

and that instantly makes ppl feel comfortable in her presence

talking to her is just so easy fr!

idk if this makes sense but you know how romance dramas or movies they always have that one senior who everyone just loves and they’re known for their kindness?

i think that’s how i’d describe kara

i haven’t even been on here long

but i feel like i can already tell her most things ^^

laid back and easygoing vibessss (is that even a thing? if it isn’t i’m making it a thing)

dee ( @atbzkingdom​ )

dee is definitely one of them beauty gurus imo

no, not the james charles sort

maybe jenn im but a darker ver?

she screams classiness and high end tastes

and also she’s so pretty i-

to me, dee’s got a very unapologetic personality and i love the boldness she projects

i feel like i’m talking to a really cool older sister when i’m talking to her

and she does photography too! so i’m thinking she’s got a good eye for aesthetics

which most beauty gurus have

emma ( @jopping-to-my-kpop​ )

hmm i think emma would be one of those meme youtubers or maybe a regular in REACT

like jenna marbles or memeulous ( if you haven’t heard of him pls go watch his vids, i love him omg )

ppl live to hear her opinions on diff things

bc they’re just so interesting

and the way she says them is so funny and savage

especially when she throws shade talks about ppl like danielle cohn ( no offense if you’re a fan )

i feel like emma is a very strong minded and opinionated and i rly rly like that about her

don’t be intimidated though

she’s actually super super kind and i’m so glad we’re mutuals :’)

bea ( @chaoticdeobi​ )

ok bea, i’m getting strong booktuber vibes

her works are *chef’s kiss*

i’m still in awe, i love her writing (i’m also very hyped for neoz party omg)

she seems super well read and the scenarios she writes are so creative and cute???

galaxy brain for sure

i can totally imagine bea doing book recs and everyone just drinking in whatever she’s saying bc she’s legit

she could talk about a book on pickles and i’d listen to her all the way

extremely sweet, bookish girl next door vibes

think mackenzie lane!

clarie ( @passionfruithyuck​ )

clarie would imo do great as a study youtuber who vlogs about college/uni life

like paigey or unjaded jade on yt

homegirl knows like 4-5 languages?

like HOW?!! that’s super impressive

100% an intellectual

i feel like she’s someone who is very dedicated to her craft (ie writing) and puts in a lot of effort in whatever she does

very chill aura!!

extremely friendly and good natured

supportive too, she’s someone you would love to be close friends with

amber ( @moondustaeil​​ )

i think amber would do great as a lifestyle vlogger

ok so hear me out

i think ppl would love to know more about her as a person

bc her personality is so alluring and appealing ( that sounded kinda weird but you know what i mean )

and you just want to get on her good side

i look up to her ><

tbh i was kinda intimidated by her at first but after talking to her, it’s like why would i ever think that

she's so nice!!

and her personality is very attractive to me

anie ( @mjlkau )

another booktuber for sure ^^

anie’s fics are always well written

and the concepts are always like from another world altogether

like seance? sign me the hell up

super likeable and precious!!

exudes this rly lively aura imo

which is honestly so refreshing

she’s very open and outgoing

and i want to be like that too someday, pls teach me your way anie ><

leyna ( @jensungf​ )

i think leyna could be a diy youtuber

like maybe bethany mota?

idk why but like to me, there’s something about diy youtubers

they all seem very warm and gentle

like they could be the mom friend in their friend groups

seems like she would be amazing with children

and they love her because she just gets them and she’s just make ppl feel so at ease talking to her

very genuine person and i love talking to her!

sunny ( @neocitybynight )

idk if sunny games but i feel like she could be a great at running a gaming channel

like maybe iHasCupcakes + JaidenAnimations ( i know that’s not a gaming channel but idk i get reminded of jaiden when i think of sunny )

to me, gamers are just so cool and they just have this rly spunky aura to them

and that’s what sunny is

she’s also very amiable, relatable af

i can totally see her playing some horror game on her pc in a dark room and just have a few cups of coffee next to her

being completely unfazed by whatever is going on

that whole aesthetic just seem so much like sunny idk why

also she’s a film major

how cool is that?!!

whoa that was longer than i expected! i took about an hour and a half to answer this lol and it’s like 12am now welps

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I hope I'm not being too annoying to you but, can I ask you some fluffy headcanons for Mic? With anything you want, really, I just want to see him being his happy and cute self(yes, I find him cute and adorable and yes, I have a big fat crush for that lovely birdie)! Thank you if you'll do it! I really like the way you write him! 💗

A/N: NOO OMG YOU'RE ALRIGHT SERIOUSLY! I actually feel super flattered you like my work request as frequently as you do. Fluffy Mic coming up! (I actually needed soft boi hours)

-When he's relaxing or just needs comfort he hums softly to himself. It’s usually a nostalgic soft song you wouldn’t even think he would like much?? Like La Vien En Rose.

-As loud as he is, and as much as he enjoys craziness, Mic really values solitude. Going to a park and having a nice stroll, or just watching the sunset at the beach.

-hE bIRd waTchEs. Lmao but he has a whole collection of books on different types of birds and their origin. He totally thinks their the most beautiful animals on the planet.

-He cannot sleep unless he has his big body pillow which he cuddles to death. Like it silently screams ‘help me’ lmao but yeah he’s a big cuddle boi and if you’re in a bed with him PREPARE TO BE SUFFOCATED

-I feel like sometimes when he is bored, he makes little space buns in his hair like it’s so cute uwu. He’s very proud of them (even though it took like an hour to just get one side right)

-He definitely wears pajamas with little cute cartoon characters on them.

-bUnnY sLiPpErs

-totally had a stuffed koala bear that he sleeps with and sometimes drag around the house when he’s feeling down.

-Mm Hot-Cocoa when he's up late song writing

-speaking of songwriting, he has a bunch of soft love songs he’s written locked away in a box. He lowkey saving it for when he has an S/O. The songs totally have a Sweater Weather By the Neighbourhood - type feel.

-He doesn’t eat much actually, he often forgets meals and stuff because he’s so busy. Every once in a while he’ll make a bento and wrap it up really nicely. He left a note with it, giving himself encouragement and what not because he doesn’t have someone else to do it for him.

-He’s a total hopeless romantic. He made many playlists for his future S/O. He actually has a list of date ideas and random recommendations for them as well.

-He’s on Christian Mingle most definitely. Lol

-He goes on dates he finds, he always puts his all into each one even though he’s been let down a lot when the girl is kinda ungrateful or rude. He always maintains a positive attitude about love and people

-Ooh he's a nErD. Marvel? D.C.? Harry Potter? Fast and Furious? Anything around and between? Yes. He has a segment on his radio show where he talks about all this stuff and gives his honest opinions.

-Goes to conventions and cosplays

-He’s definitely been to a maid cafe with Aizawa. He wore cat ears and forced his sleepy friend to wear them too. It was nice tho

-He loves American pop music and dances around his house, at 3 am while blasting Lady Gaga.

-He has an Old lady as a neighbor and she just Adores him so so much!! Like she bakes him sweets and gives him sweaters. He has a million oversized sweaters in his closet thanks to her.

-He wears turtlenecks please fight me on this.

-Ooh but man when he wears his glasses and his black turtleneck, ALL OF YOU GUYS CAN LEAVE HIZASHI SUPERIOR!!!!

-He loves candy and just about anything sweet. I swear he jumps up every time he takes a bite of cake.

-He loves kids??? Like he helps out at local orphanages or things like the boys and girls club. All the kids love him so so much!! They shower him with love and affection.

-“Mr.Yamadaaaaaaaaa!!! Guess what I got an A on my report!”

-“Mr.H, can you play basketball with us?”

-“Yo Mr.Hiz! I finished that song I was working on.”

-“HIZASHHIIIII! PlAY DoLLy wiTh uS.”

-The girls have a big fat crush on him and always give him confessions and he’s just like *bLuSh* *BoW* “haha I’m tOo oLd fOr you bUt I shAll cherish thIs.”

-He might have a golden retriever 👉👈 (it’s named something totally basic like Lucky)

-Loves the sound of laughter and smiling. It instantly makes him so so happy. He doesn’t know why but he can’t help but feel all bubbly when someone is smiling at their phone or being happy to see someone.

-He loves all people, like seriously doesn’t matter your race or gender or sexuality. He seriously just loves meeting new interesting people!

-At the end of the day though, Hizashi is quite lonely. He loves being around people and he really wishes he has a S/O or like a kid to bug him. At least he wouldn’t have an empty house with no company.

-Even with that said, he’s a bit too busy to have a responsibility like that.

-He’s a over-ecstatic teacher and tries his best to hype everyone one up. Like he passes out candy and gives fun prizes for answering a correct answer.

-If a child forgets or has no money for lunch. He buys them it or gives them his.

-He’s a total softy and cant handle when someone is mad at him. He will feel so bad and be in the dumps. 100% pouting.

-he's a BIG cry baby too smh.

-his nose is always red and he has a soft blush on his face like all the time is so cute. Especially when he reading a book and sticks his little nose out when someone is talking to him.

-HIS GREEN EYES ARE MESMERIZING I SWEAR LIKE AND HIS EYES GET ALL DOEY WHEN HE'S TIRED AND IT'S SO CUTE UWU. He’s a baby.

-He trues his best not to be awkward but we all know that fails especially when he’s telling a weird dad joke he found on a 2012 tumblr post.

[ultrahamilham]

I aspire to be that old lady when I grow up 😌

And that's good to hear; you're my best friend now, deal with it ;-;

My test went good, with your blessing 🥺🥺

I LOVE your weird ideas and yes, you have a shy anon and indeed we are the sweetest of beans. sometimes I start typing out a message then I chicken out because I am a chicken ;-;

I'm happy to hear it when people take breaks! I feel like we all need one every once in a while! That's also crazy cause it is like 10am here (Indian Standard time) and time zones suck! Just saying. SNOWPIERCER. I've heard so much about that!! How is it? (if I talk too much please just ignore me okay thanks)

Ahh, I'm pre-med! I'm not really going to school, the tests are conducted online because my state has the highest infection rate in the country and over here we're still in complete lockdown and it's scary, but I'm staying safe for the sake of my family! Thank you so much for asking ;-; ;-;

My day has been... messy. I have an awful sleep schedule so I woke up at two am, I wrote replies to my rp partners (poor guys, dealing with my sleep deprived self) and then I fell asleep, woke up at five and studied for the test and I'm finally getting free! The test was really simple and (I'm taking the talk on for hours thing to heart, apparently) and you can post anything you want because being anon gives me a false sense of confidence so I can say the most insane things! Like... I think your hair is mega cool! HA. I could never say that out of anon! Yay!

You are loved and important 🥺🥺 and your mom 🥺🥺🥺🥺 omg🥺🥺 please don't bug her about someone as lowly as myself 🥺🥺🥺 I am but 🥺🥺🥺 a shy anon who doesn't deserve her approval 🥺🥺🥺

You can go on for hours about her! She is so incredibly talented! I only ship mainly Jamilton (They are my life) but BOY I still love everything she draws! Her art style is so unique and she's an amazing person, from what I've seen! Your love for her is more than justified and I'm SO happy both of you have each other 🥺

You physically cannot bug me, I love people just so frickin much and I would love to hear about all of that!

I hope you have a good night and the sweetest of dreams ;-;

-Shy anon (even if you know it's me at this point ;-;)

Long answer under the break, oops lmao

Horray for best friends! I’m alright with it, I will embrace it! Also I’m do glad your test went well, that’s great! Congrats <3 I knew you would do well!

You are absolutely adorable. That’s how I was when I first started to talk to Henni actually. It took a lot for me to talk to her. We started off as fans of one another then I made like a really emo freaking post on tumblr and she spoke to me and then we just... Clicked lmao

I like NEVER take breaks so it’s amazing that I chose to lmao I’m bad at self care when it comes to taking breaks. Oops... Also the show is amazing! You see a lot of naked Daveed and I can’t complain. The actual story is really interesting! It could be better of course, and it’s plot points are very obvious from the beginning but the acting makes it work out! Also no, I will not ignore you. I can GUARANTEE you can’t out talk me. My nickname used to be motor mouth so...

Oh my gosh! You must be really smart to be in pre-med! I did a program that required some basic medical courses but that’s about it. I know the basics, but I don’t have the stomach to learn more. I can barely look at a cut let alone help someone who needs stitches hahaha! Though I’m glad you’re doing it from online. I know it’s scary but things will be okay! It sucks that you have a lot of cases and that you have to be in quarantine. Here in Ontario Canada we are talking about another quarantine and it’s pretty scary, but I think it’s needed. If we can all do our part we can get through this! Things will be okay <3

I hear you about the messed up sleep, I only slept for 3 hours and I’m about to reply to my rps with Henni then watch more snowpearcer and survive off of coffee and pure spite hahah! Also thank you for that complement to my hair ;-; it’s about to go green when the dye comes in the mail! I will have to trim it again, but that’s fine! I did the style mostly myself and I maintain it now with shaving the sides and back, plus layering it every few months! It’s cheaper that way lol I’m glad you feel okay enough to express yourself!

Trust me, she wants me to. I won’t get into specifics, but she told me to talk her ear off about whatever I want. She wasn’t the best person growing up. She abused us all and when I came out as trans she told me to kill myself. She has since come around and is getting help for her mental issues that made her that way, but it’s a slow process. One way that she wants to make it up to us is for us to say whatever we want to her. I can talk about gay men fucking if I really wanted to, so I tell her all the plots to my jamilton fics and she actually thinks they’re great, which is a shocker to me. She’s a whole different person!

I have had the pleasure to watch her grow. I joined the zosan fandom around the time she did and I saw her art evolve and it’s amazing to me. I still have works from way back then and I still love them! She is such a talented person and I am SO lucky.

I love Jamilton, if you haven’t noticed lmao though I am a multishipper of course. Jamilton is higher on the list than some of my other ships of course hahahah

Well then we can agree to talk each other’s ears off! Because there is no way I can shut up now hahahahah!

I hope your day has been good and you’re getting some sleep!

Have a good day, my dear shy anon <3

[wordstrings]

Inbox dump 

(brace yourselves, I’m including the timestamps because these have been sitting forever and you may literally forget ever having sent one of these because they’re from so long ago 😬)

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Anonymous said: March 11th 2014 *Clears throat* Non-canon verse, uni AU probably *strums guitar and takes a deep breath* DUEEEEE TO A COMPUTING errORRR, dean and gabe are stuck as roomatesssssssss, whilesamandcascanbestucktogethertoo that'snotaneccesitybutitwouldbegreaaaaaaaaattttttttt, and veeery soon it turns into something of a friendship BUT THEEEENNNN dean fights with saaAAAM and gabe is like "dude stop being so upset" aND FLUFF HAPPEeeeeeEEEEEEeens! *stands up and bows* tyvm for accepting debriel though like omg <3

I’ve been rewatching some of Supernatural seasons 5 and 6 this past weekend, and it reminded me how much I love and miss Gabriel. I still maintain that Debriel is a super-underrated ship. The manic-chaos potential is *muah*. (see: #Debriel)

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Anonymous said: August 7th 2018 psst... light back tickles while cuddling in bed are pure™ and wholesome™

Good shit good shit good shit

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Anonymous said: September 19th 2018 I love science and go to public seminars as often as I can. I walked in to the most recent one (which I had picked at random), and it was on the science of tickling. There were demonstrations. There were hand gestures and finger wiggling. There were in depth descriptions of the anatomy and physiology behind ticklish spots. It was legitimately your Amateur Production’s fic, and I was Kevin. Worst of all it was 2 hours long. I think I died during it and my soul was sucked into hell.

Uhhhhhh where can I get a copy of the slide deck?? Asking for a friend. (see: #series: Amateur Production)

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Anonymous said: September 23rd 2018 your art skills have me shook in the best possible way

aaaahh thank you! Fun fact: I went to art school and even took illustration as a concentration area but I’ve hardly drawn anything for like ten years. When I do draw, it’s usually because there are feelings that I don’t wanna do words about. (see: #strings does art)

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Halo!anon said: September 27th 2018 A small, sinful part of Castiel had the urge to gloat. It was somewhat dampened by the fact that Dean was still under the impression that being abducted is peak romance."I can't believe you went out of your way to set up our second date!" He'd squealed, as Castiel tightened his restraints. - little excerpt of a sequel to Date Nights with Demons i had planned for months but abandoned. halo!anon

Your demented version of Demon!Dean is so entertaining 😄 (see: Date Nights with Demons)

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Anonymous said: November 6th 2018 Aaaaah your Gabriel / Kali drabble was adorable, I can't help but love seeing our mighty archangel reduced to a mass of giggles, and you write Gabriel so so well <3. I love your writing your stories always brighten my day ^^

It’s so rare for him to let his guard down, isn’t it? But when he does, he has a grand old time of it. :) (see: this drabble)

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sarah-lou-who said: November 8th 2018 1/4 Boo! The ghost of my online presence in the community is peeking its head in because I need help. I don’t have a platform or following to sound an alarm, so I’m using my platonic tumblr wife’s platform and following for me, because that’s what platonic tumblr wives do. Right? Anyway, I’m very actively fixated on Attack on Titan atm. You know this very well. You also know my predicament. I seem to have exhausted the entire supply of tickly AoT content I’m interested in that exists currently. 2/4 So, if you’re willing to publish these for me, I’m crying out into the vast TFB lands hoping that there’s someone out there to answer the call. I am in desperate need of tickly AoT content. I don’t know if anyone around here writes for it much these days. I haven’t found anyone. And I know beggars can’t be choosers, but it can’t be helped; I really only care if Eren is involved. Even better would be Levi, but I haven’t found ANYTHING involving him, so I feel like asking for that is futile. 3/4 I digress. Even after all this time I can’t keep my asks less than 50 parts long. So my goal here is that someone, somewhere, will by chance come across these, and be able and willing to either write fic of the tickly variety for Eren and/or Levi from Attack on Titan, or direct me to someone who can, if they know a person who knows a person who knows a person. (Sidenote, hi anyone who still remembers me! It’s Sarah, the more ticklish half of Leerah. I’m doing good and I miss you!) 4/4 (I hope you’re all doing well!) Thank you for letting me take advantage of your devoted followers, Strings! Love yaaa!!!

Ah, my platonic tumblr wife Sarah returns! (Digitally, anyway. Reality-wise, we hang out all the time and it’s probably very rude of me to have not published this ask for so long!) I keep teasing her that she has a Type, and that is dark-haired sulky badass who’d probably make a wicked ‘ler – AoT Levi, SPN Cas, FMA Roy, etc. So anyway, if anyone knows of somewhere I can point her to find the content she’s (still) craving, lmk!

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Anonymous said: October 23rd 2019 I’m sorry if this is invasive in any way, but how is Sarah doing? I’ve been absent from Tumblr for a couple years and I see that her blog is now deactivated. I was just wondering if she’s doing alright and if she’s still around here on a different blog maybe?

See above! She doesn’t have a TFB community blog anymore, but she���s doing well. We’re quarantine buddies and helping each other out a lot. Very kind of you to ask! <3

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Anonymous said: December 2nd 2018 Hi, sorry to bother you but do you know what happened to prodigal-anon’s blog? It seems to have been deleted. Sorry again if you’ve been asked this before

No worries, friend! Here’s an answer for you!

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Anonymous said: December 13th 2018 I LOVE THE LOOPY SERIES! I love it so much, is there any chance you’ll be doing a part four? I’d give anything to see Cas and Dean tickle each other, it would be so cute 😍

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I haven’t entirely stopped writing... and Loopy 4 is one of those unfinished pieces that has seen a few additions lately. :) I’ve learned not to make promises about when something might get finished and posted, but I genuinely do believe this may be one of the first things that shows up once I’m ‘back in the game.’ Stay tuned... (see: #series: Loopy)

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Anonymous said: January 1st 2019 No no no you can't just stop there! I need more fluffy destiel with tickles and kissing! Pretty please?

I believe this is in response to Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight. Don’t you worry, anon – Dean and Cas are not done being fluffy on this blog!

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1832wasalongtimeago said: January 25th 2019 Hi I just wanted to pop in and say the Maintenance series is amazing!! The second part was doing things to my poor heart I’ve read it like 5 times already. You’re such an amazing writer and thank you fo writing for us!

I’m very flattered, but I can’t take credit for the Of Maintenance series – that’s the lovely work of ask-flip-frost! It does things to my poor heart, too, so you’re in good company. :)

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Anonymous said: January 26th 2019 Sam Winchester can take a lot of things. The one thing he CAN'T take? Someone using baby talk on him when he's being tickled. He collapses into a puddle of helpless giggles faster than a house of cards in a stiff wind.

Precious Sammy just needs to laugh and be held, doesn’t he? <3

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Anonymous said: May 17th 2019 Thor needs tickles. So. Damn. Much.

Oh this was from right after Endgame came out. Thor did make me feel some sads there. :( Poor bab.

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 hi! i’ve read your wonderful fics forever but i’ve never really sent anything like this before so i don’t really know what to say.. but i had a destiel tickly thought and really wanted to share it with somebody, so here goes i guess- dean is taking too long in the shower so cas decides to use his mojo from the other room to speed things along. and listens to dean’s echoey laughs through the door. that’s all. sorry if this is weird! okay bye have a good one

This is not weird and I may have delayed in telling you any of my feelings about it but I definitely have a doc somewhere that has some vague notes about how I’d like to write this because I like it!

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Anonymous said: August 6th 2019 Anhhgff your Good Omens tword fics are so cute snvfddf i never knew I needed that of my favorite husbands till now😳😍

I know, right?! They’re just dying to be dropped into every fluffy situation. (see: #Good Omens)

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 Poking my head in to say hello, hope you’re doing well still! I just got into Good Omens and I absolutely loved your fic! (I watched the show first because my book was taking too long in the mail lol) Also, the other week I somehow talked myself into making a tfb blog, after all these years of almost doing so before chickening out (this ask isn’t from it because I just hopped in here briefly in a private phone browser to say hi, it’s literally just august-anon though) ~August!Anon

August!anon, I’m always so happy to see you stop by! Tagging your (not-so-new anymore) blog so everyone can check you out: @august-anon​

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hey-teenblog said: August 4th 2019 I love your fanfiction very much! They give me a lot of pleasant emotions. And most importantly, they, saturated with tenderness and love, gave me to accept myself as lee!! sorry for my english, i'm russian Love you 😘❤️

I will never tire of hearing things like this! Thank you for telling me. “Saturated with tenderness and love” is a such wonderful compliment about my writing – thank you very much! No need to apologize for language differences; I’m always impressed with anyone who manages to pick up English because it’s bonkers. 

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Anonymous said: August 23rd 2019 Hi! Just found this blog and wondering some basic info. ** What fandoms do toy write for? ** Do you accept prompts? ** Do you write reader insert fics? Thank you lovley ❤️

Anonymous said: August 29th 2019 Do you write tickle fics for bnha?? Asking for a friend 👀👀

The only fandoms I have reliably been able to write for are Supernatural and Good Omens – but even Good Omens is a rookie player here. Supernatural is my main jam, and Destiel is my favorite flavor. I don’t do reader inserts, but I’m always “accepting” prompts. I just haven’t written many of them for quite a long time now, so you’re welcome to drop them as long as you’re okay with them collecting dust. (see: this selfsame post)

My About/FAQ page is very dusty right now, too, but there might be some useful tidbits in there for you.

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Anonymous said: November 12th 2019 okayokayokay. Have you watched Lucifer? It's on netflix, it's great, so much emotions and pining. (Also, y'know, reg. Luci stuff. He runs a club. Bad jokes. It's great.)

I haven’t, but it’s on my Netflix watchlist, so I’ll get there eventually! I saw a gifset once where he actually did the thing I see in winged fanfic all the time, where there was gunfire and he sheltered someone he cared about with his manifested wings. And honestly, that was the deciding factor for me.

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Anonymous said: November 16th 2019 Oh Man U listen to Critrole as well! Nice! Campaign 1 was awesome but also heartfelt and really gut-punching at points. Who is your fav so far, anyone you aren’t fond of? (& Out of interest do you have any tickle related thoughts on the main crew or upcoming Fics we can look out for? As you said it’s tumbleweeds out here for this fandom’s tickles and I’ll take anything really 😂!) Hope u enjoy!!!!!

It’s STILL tumbleweeds out here and it’s making me crazy! My heart belongs to Vax primarily, Percy secondarily. I don’t really have cohesive thoughts or headcanons about anything, unfortunately. I do have this one mental picture that keeps coming up that I keep wanting to see art of (who knows, maybe I’ll commission somebody someday?) – of ridiculous brute Grog just lifting Vax straight up in his arms and gettin’ wiggly with his fingers while all Vax can do is laugh and pry and kick while absolutely nobody helps him.

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Regarding #series: Accessor:

Anonymous said: August 31st 2015 I would like to see accessor!verse cas using feathers on Dean!!! and NIBBLES and RASPBERRIES and TEETH and TONGUE and WOWWWWWW

ME TOO, FRIEND. It’s been aaaaages since I published anything new for the Accessor AU, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been going back to my unfinished docs every once in a while to add a few lines here and there. ;) 

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Anonymous said: October 29th 2016 Prompt: Cas is put in charge of getting a treaty with a neighboring country that shares a lot of the same customs, including Accessories, with certain... twists (think Bracelets AU) and treats their personal slaves (like Accessories) like people (listening to opinions, giving proper care, etc.). The foreign diplomats keep bringing that up and talking to Dean. Cas isn't sure he can make it though the diplomatic proceedings. Also, he might be having improper thoughts about that custom and Dean...

I’m posting this here, but I’m definitely keeping this filed elsewhere because it’s FANTASTIC.

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Halo!anon submitted: June 4th 2018 I can’t help but imagine how tickling must play a part in other aspects of society in the accessor ‘verse, besides the sessions between master and accessory. So here’s some imagines and headcanons, with a touch of worldbuilding. (Warnings, besides the usual for this AU: death mention, reference to past trauma.)

- Among the high class, during parties and other celebrations, it’s seen as a common courtesy to string up one’s personal accessory in the center of the room and let the guests entertain themselves with them. Lord Castiel never does this with Dean, much to his fellow nobles’ disappointment; the mere suggestion had Dean quaking as things he’d rather forget came back to bite him.

- Every so often, a petty criminal(the poor man’s accessory, if you will) is placed in stocks in a small town’s square and left at the mercy of the very people they used to menace. What happens next usually involves honey, some sheep, and plenty of begging. A guard stands by to warn people, “No hurting, only tickling. Everyone please wait your turn, they’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

- Certain monastic healers perform tickle therapy as a treatment for anxiety, stress, and other “diseases of the soul”, as they call them. Balthazar himself proposed the idea, because of course he did. The rich usually indulge in this kind of therapy secretly, due to its undignified nature. Some contemplate the possibility of training accessories to tickle in the future, but it’s still a big taboo.

- Every town has a folktale about a tickle monster. Curiously, many of them involve controlling plants and attacking through dreams. The southern communities still have a giggle remembering that one time six years ago when Michael offered to hunt down one such monster and came back with Crowley, a sleazy drunkard with a fetish and a dream, sitting in a cage and wearing a mask.

- The Masters sisters, Lillith, Meg and Ruby, have a long history with law enforcement. Their favorite pastime is snatching unlucky merchants off the roads and tickling them into coughing up everything they have. Everyone is sure they had a hand in Fergus"Crowley" Macleod’s untimely demise by ferocious attack hounds, but they’re very good at covering their tracks. They’ll help you cover up your tracks too, if you’re a friend- ask Bela Talbot.

I might make a second part if I get any more ideas. I hope you enjoyed this! -Halo!anon.

I am very fond of you indeed, Halo!anon. These are so creative!

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hypahticklish submitted: July 24th 2018 Accessor!Ideas:

~ Gabriel leads a furious rant regarding Prince Lucifer/Sam to Castiel, relating back to perhaps dealings he has directly had with the Prince between their two unstable-yet-truced Kingdoms. Castiel relates with similar views shared by Gehenna’s councilor(s).

~ Dean and Sam BM where the audience learns more about their homevillage. Dean starts it after a rather morose remark from Sam and ends with Sammy smiling and stealing my heart.

~ Balthazar helps Sam in several ways: 1) Learns the Sam was originally a psuedo-Advocates apprentice, as well as herbalist nephew when Sam identifies the components to some salves/medicines he’s making (he had been explaining what he was doing in an attempt to spare himself being attacked like the first couple times) 2) Calls Sam out on being intelligent and making a recklessly stupid choice by selling himself to find Dean. 3) Removes Lucifers mark. And maybe perhaps: 4) Allows Sam to assist in his own healing/medicine making under his careful observation, feigned as needing two sets of hands to do correctly and his assistant was running an errand, to assess his skills. 5) Offer he work in the hospice under him, apprenticing, should Gabriel allow his intelligence not go to waste. It’s not what Sam really wants to do/learn, but it’s better than doing nothing.

~Dean officially thanks Castiel for saving Sam. I’m talking full feels, single man tear sorta thing. And Castiel says “there was never another option” and then its schmoopy sweet with the kisses and the tickles and the Cas saying he loves Dean back!!!!!!!! swoon.

~ Kali!Likes!Sam’s!Spirit! Give me a dinner scene with Gabriel, Kali and Sam where hes holding his own in a diplomatic conversation with them when he nearly crosses a line (maybe something classist? Making it clear that Cas and Gabe are the exception to his experiences) and she says “I like this ones fire. He reminds me of you, my love.” *grabby hands*

~ Prince Lucifer sends a message to Gabriel requesting (threatening) his Helpmate be returned to him for a handsome reward. Sam somehow sees letter and gets spooked because DRAMA. Gabriel responds to Lucifer with the Chief Advocate equivalent of “Fuck Off”

You, my friend. YOU. All these feelings about Sam? Top-notch, and I shall be borrowing them, yes I shall.

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Regarding #android!Cas:

hypahticklish said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas deciding today is the DAY. Dean has been teasing him lately that he likes these strange sensations that have him using all his back-up generated power to not accidentally break Dean's bones and challenging him with that cocky smirk and relaxed confidence. Android!Cas practicing during time while Dean rests with holding objects with similar density to the human wrists with enough gentle force that they neither fracture or slip from his grasp. Android!Cas surprising Dean by turning the tables and pinning his wrists over his head while settling himself on Dean's thighs. Android!Cas not necessarily tickling at first so much as just touching like he had been wanting to so as to catalog how his best friend feels with his new technology. Android!Cas feeling that bubble of FEELS in his chest as he listens to Dean swear at him with positive physical actions negating his harsh words, growing more amused as the bubbling giggles begin. I love Android!Cas 

Anonymous said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas figures out his own strength comes in handy for more than just retaining himself during tickle fights. When he surprises Dean, Dean tends to squirm and fight back a little (even though he told Cas to get him back as part of the experience), so Cas uses his strength to gently hold Dean down while ticking him. Dean's never been held immobile before so it's a new experience for him, but he ends up liking it. Cas notices how Dean relaxes into his hold after a minute or so. Cas doesn't fail to use this knowledge about Dean, coming up with teasing words and methods of ticking to make Dean all squirmy and giggly, taking special notice of how light tickles effect Dean even more than most other touches, using that specially designed soft brush meant to gently clean Cas' delicate computer chips.

Anonymous said: February 17th 2016 I'm joining in on the Android!Cas thing, if not too late. Perhaps Android!Cas has detachable parts, like a foot, and Dean is a jerk and runs off and hides with it all the while tickling it and making fun of Android!Cas's increasingly desperate attempts to get it back.

Y’all, careful deliberate curious determined ‘ler Cas is LIFE. And, reserved confused helpless adorable ‘lee Cas is also life. Detachable and extensible parts are probably key to both of these things.

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Regarding current personal circumstances:

Anonymous said: January 14th 2020 I pray that you’re able to find peace during this difficult time. You are loved more than you will ever know. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will come a time that you are thankful for this experience, because it will have turned you into the person you are truly meant to be. Be strong and be hopeful. Keep your faith and keep knowing that you are going to be okay. Don’t let this dark time destroy the magnificent light inside of you. Sending you so much love

Anonymous said: January 17th 2020 I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Hang in there! We’re all here for you!

Anonymous said: February 11th 2020 all my love, thoughts and prayers are going towards you right now. also wanted to just drop a little thank you note in your inbox for all the light and joy i've found in your fics over the years. im sitting half way through my first year at uni currently but ive been a fan of yours since early highschool and i feel like ive almost grown up with your writing and fanfics in a strange way, so thank you so much for that. sending all my love to you once again- you are so strong x

I love you all so much.

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[smoresmoresmore]

Will edit later

I just have to say

I was possibly exposed to Rabies and came to Tumblr for help and advice and was THOROUGHLY AND DISTURBINGLY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE RABIES TAG.

Omg

I was convinced I was going to die and searching anything Rabies related was UNHELPFUL AF. Not judging but y'all did not help lol.

Very long explanation of why I thought I was going to die:

Waking up to a bat (2 nights in a row) is not automatic cause to assume you will die but it is, I found out after talking to the Dept. Of Agriculture and their Epidemiologist, an immediate cause to go straight to the ER and get shot up with the vaccine and immunoglobulin so you DON'T POTENTIALLY DIE. It is not something the doctors can argue against and it is not something you should postpone. Especially since I was "under the influence" (Nyquil) at the time and even less likely to notice if I had gotten scratched or bitten. My being unaware was the key point in the urgency of going to the ER.

The ER doc was highly annoyed I knew just what to say ("I woke up with a bat in my face") and he grumpily admitted he was bound to follow CDC protocol. His annoyance was so obvious he repeatedly told me how unlikely it was I was bit and explained how "intense" the shots would be. I assume he felt the medicine could be put to better use on someone who was 100% sure and/or was injured. When I asked him what would happen to me if I WAS bitten and didn't get the shot like he wanted, he sighed and admitted "Well, you die."

"Well, shoot me up, doc!"

That night I got 7 shots. One in my arm, which hurt so bad--I guess because my nurse was new and may habe gone too deep because the subsequent shots I have gotten in the same arm haven't been anywhere near as painful-- and 6 in my buttcheeks. 3 in each.

Waking up from my Nyquil coma to a bat in my face was not fun. I had never related to those movie scenes of people screaming and running around afraid if bats. But jessuz. They are fast. And this one was swooping around my living room and deliberately getting super close to me. I had to hide under my blanket and in my fevered state this made me sweat. Trying to herd it to my now opened windows did not help. I tried to call police, fireman andnanimal control; the 1st two were useless and the 3rd was not open at 1am.

Eventually I reached out to my townie facebook group and got advice. White towels attract them. Or make it dark and quiet and hide--I did this as I was not going to run around with a towel in my undies like that video--which worked. 2 very concerned people urged me to go to a doctor.

"You say you have flu-like symptoms and a constant fever and you sleep in that room a lot. You really need to go to the ER. Rabies is so dangerous."

And after 2 nights of dealing with bats and my fever spiking right around the time they show up, I existed in a dark hole of stress. So much so that the second morning I woke up to my hand twitching erratically and my thumb muscle spasming and I started bawling. I had already gotten the shots the day before so I knew if I encountered anything rabid I should be okish (I still had 3 more to go before I was fully protected) but now, with my glitchy hand, I was panicking about "WHAT IF I ALREADY HAD IT?!"

Urgent Care had ruled out Strep twice for my odd sickness and had assured me I have a random virus and to just stay in bed for a few days. Which I had been doing faithfully, before getting bored and moving to my livingroom nest. I like to sleep in there a lot and often do when the weather is nice. I just made sure to drink water and tea and get sunlight and all the things. Including Nyquil. But my fevers were getting worse. I was feeling like crap. And now what we all assumed to be A Normal Virus was morphing into my worst nightmare.

Probably egged on by 101 temperatures, I called around until someone was willing to explaon to me whether I was dying or not. Getting told "You'll be fine. It is SO RARE," did not calm me down. I needed someone to explain how the long incubation period (months to a year) and symptoms (flu like, emotional, twitchy) did not match me.

I slept in that room on accident and on purpose since moving in almost 9 months ago. I'm a heavy sleeper and don't wake up easily. Iffff I had been bitten during one of my all-nighters doing math homework or essay writing, it makes sense I would suddenly get a random "virus" that isn't going away. I had it all worked out in my head. I was getting headaches in the sun and stores. I forced myself outside and out and about when I felt ok because fuck it if I was going to let this be a symptom I had. I was getting anxious in the shower but, knowing fear of water was a symptom, I forced myself to stay in it. (Turns out my paranoia was right. The water was starting to be hard and my skin was breaking out. It is very annoying. The timing was just horrendous)

All the doctors and nurses kindly told me I was safe since I had started the shots but no one had an answer for me when I asked if they helped if I hadddd it already. They weren't sure. The amount of information they have or are willing to share is astonishingly low.

After 2 hours of phone tag I was finallly able to get an appointment with an Infectious Disease Doctor. She told me that if I did have it there was no real evidence about the vaccine helping, especially since I had only had the first dose at that point. She told me it would be fast though and they couldn't tell until "you're foaming at the mouth." She asked to look in my mouth and when I told her about my drooliness she said to let her know if it got worse. She asked about my hand. I told her. She asked about numbness and I freaked cuz my arm did go numb at one point.

I askwd her about tests. I had read that there were a few--spinal fluid, spit, blood--that were not really reliable. She said since I had the vaccine and immunoglobulin in my system already they would show up and it would be pointless.

My only option was to wait. And chill. And try not to dwell on the fact that there is no answer or cure or way to find out if I should plan my trip to Oregon and die or if I should allow my boyfriend to visit me.

He was firmly in the You Don't Have Rabies camp and came over anyway to feed me soup and hang out. But I refused to kiss him. It made him very sad and probably extremely exasperated.

My boss was so done with me when he asked if I could come in the next day. "Sasha. You cannot have Rabies. Just come to work. You'll be fine." And I realized how crazy I sounded but I still warned all my coworkers.

Anyway, my lowgrade fever continued, my twitchiness stopped, my drooling stopped, my water was hard so I avoided the shower but cleaned my good bits, and once I doubled up my water intake my headaches disappeared. I went into a mini death spiral for a day but decided to force myself into believing I was fine.

When I started getting confused and fainty, I bought Iron supplements. When I started getting angry and anxious, I called my friends and got distracted. When it was time to get another shot, I made sure to update everyone of the weirdness Just In Case.

One nurse took the time to sit me down and listwn. That's really all I needed since no one had answers. I just needed my mind soothed and concerns not dismissed. She couldn't explain the muscle spasm but could definitely see why I was freaking out. She was the one who tested me for peace of mind. She looked into Lyme disease. She found my anemia. She explained that the amount of time that had elapsed made her sure I was going to be ok. She had watched people die in Africa from this and shw said it happens So Fast it is tragic. I would not be able to organize a trip to Oregon to die. I would become incoherent and slip away within days.

That was what I needed. A timeframe. A legit explanation of what it looks like and how it happens. And why I don't fit. This whole time I had been wondering how to tell my friends. Whether I could write all their numbers down in case I couldnt function enough to call them or remember my phone password. I was planning on cleaning my apartment so good so the landlord couldn't bash me when I was bouncing off the walls and hissing at him. I was deciding who I really needed to contact and who I could live without wasting breath on. I was planning a goodbye party. I told all 3 of my lovers ("´hey, I have this thing there is no real test for while you're alive but there is once you die so you can't get tested, and you may have it so got get shot up but no one is sure if that will help much," but I did tell them and it was hilarious to them. My favorite response being "RIP" and "F") And this all had put me in such a dark place that, coupled with a few shitty days at work with my bully of a manager, I also asked for a psych person to visit me after the Rabies shot.

After her talk I was like, oh. Thank godddd. And kinda annoyed at having to wait an extra hour in the ER for a talk that could wait til morning. But I chatted with rhem and asked for referral to a shrink since this had just highlighted how much I need help with my anxiety. Especially since the temporary issue of Rabies was being resolved but my cruel manager was still going to exist now that I was going to survive this beef with nature. It was nice to think of that way "my rabies beef is getting cooked" and the pscyh lady got me help. So that was nice. I just mainly needed to get healthy again so I could

I mean. Almostbarelybutnotreally facing a cruel death was a great way to look at life and reflect on some things. There are messes I am not at fault for, messes I avoid that I shouldn't, people and things I value and the objects that matter to me more than others for ridiculous reasons. I was so grateful to the staff for putting up with me. And for you for reading.

All of this just to say

Circle circle dot dot

Soon I get my last Rabies Shot

[octrainisms]

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 62: What makes you happy?

Octavio: Well……. Geez, um… What makes me happy is my friends. My hombres and chicas and others. They are my family, man. Can’t live without them…. That and cat videos. Perfect. As for the other question…. Man, I think it does, but it’s hard to say really. It’s a kick in the teeth when it happens, but it puts you right. I reunited with Ajay because of my choice leading to such an outcome.

I will answer with no cut because this wall of text needs to be seen without unneeded diverts. Pardon the pizza fingers and emotional typos.

For those who don’t know, I, the mun, Alex, have gone through hell. I was bullied my whole life - even to this day actually - and was kicked down every chance my parents got, telling me my dreams, hopes, aspirations and life choices were the worst (Um hi yes my mom did things that weren’t technically legal so fight me lady).

I have been coerced, tricked, manipulated and down right forced to believe that the r word I will not say, was okay, because I am born a woman and should like it when men do things to my body. For six years I ate once a day for two reasons. One, my mother told me I wasn’t really hungry until it hurt. And two, because everyone called me ugly and fat, the usual (I was borderline anorexic).

I see myself as male, with the unfortunate mutation to make my body female. And because of everything, I have so many issues mentally, ranging from extreme suicidal tendencies to PTSD to anxiety and depression. But the one thing my brain did, is give me Borderline Personality Disorder. Unlike Disassociative Identity Disorder, I know what is happening when all but one personality comes out, I know what is real, not real and so on (bar my PTSD outbursts). I have survived attempted murder four times (three were in one fucking day boy howdy I hate water now).

I got out of an abusive relationship and into a new one more times than I wish to say and was ready to end it all. I had everything set up to be as clean as possible so minimal work for others coming through and had my plan. My personality, Kiel who was born from my pride, convinced me to write a post detailing the death of my muse at the time.

‘What do you have to lose?’

And so I did, then proceeded to write a novel of a goodbye letter. Before posting, he told me to open a new window. Again, those words rang out from his mouth. I let him open tumblr in a new tab, and see an ask. He pushes for me to click it, those same words a mantra by this point. I didn’t care, I just wanted to die and he was making me suffer.

‘Humour me. If it’s hate, then I will step back and let you do this. If it is anything else, you have to listen to me.’

What did I have to lose?

And so I opened my askbox to see one message from someone I adored but was terrified to message.

OMG SENPAI I HAVENT HEARD FROM YOU IN AGES HOW ARE YOU ARE YOU OKAY?!

It’s like she knew something was wrong.

Why do you care?

It was cold and cruel, a blunt sort of ‘fuck off’ that I could do when you have the Son of fucking Loki from your books nagging you to at least ask SOMETHING.

And here she is, the fucking angel that ran me over that I never saw coming;

Because you’re amazing and I love your writing and I really want to write with you and be your friend but I’m scared to do that because I don’t want to be a bother and I just have a feeling that something’s not okay. Please talk to me, I know I’m a random but if anything is wrong talk to me please.

I was floored, but the trickster burst into action, egging me on to talk to her. An hour later, I was smiling through tears.

Long story short, what he convinced me to do was buy a chocolate mud cake, eat it in one sitting, then vomit for six hours and hate his guts.

Oh, and that angel? She is my wife now, knows all 183 personalities in my head and loves me, as she said ‘dick or no dick’.

Long story short;

Yes. It all happens for a reason. Not because some higher power says so or anything silly like that. But without those moments of true agony I never would have found my family in my mind. I never would have gone to that web series, made that blog, found that angel and found peace in life again.

Do I have days where I wish I didn’t humour the trickster? Hell yeah.

But I reach out to people, something I was terrified of the first time I did it. I’ll ramble, or write a sad drabble. It’s nothing to be ashamed of at all.

It took me my whole life and one hell of a stubborn Canadian Angel for me to see that I am worth being alive, that I’m awesome and amazing and beautiful and perfect in my own way despite preaching it over and over for years for other people!

If I can be that rock for you, that pillar of hope, I damn well will be. It all happens for a reason, but you have to fight through it, humour that trickster itch of pride in you to see what is around the corner.

Doesn’t matter if a teacher tells you to kill yourself and that it’ll be a grace on humanity, doesn’t matter if that fucking douchebag of a kid calls you ugly, fat, weird, or a freak. Fucking stand up and be proud of it. If they tell you that you’re weird, say ‘yeah, duh dude, it’s kinda my thing’. If they call you fat say ‘at least I’m warm in the winter’. If they tell you you’re a freak, just smile creepily and say ‘we all float down here’.

Look in the mirror and be proud of what you see. Because you have made it this far, made it to this point, despite all the setbacks and chains around your body.

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

And don’t you dare give up, don’t you dare stay silent, be loud, be proud. You are unique and perfect in your own damn way, so when they knock you down, get back up. If they tell you to die, live in spite of their words.

One of my biggest bullies in school now works at a mcdonalds, twenty six and still with his mom, starting a family in her home rather than his own, and I know owning your own house is hard, but he called me fat, and now he is three times my own weight. I work in a shop where my co-workers are my family, where I feel safe and loved, where every day I am asked if I’m okay and everything.

I know it’s hard, I know it’s painful even, but it is worth it. Everything that hits you is worth pushing through. I lost six people to suicide throughout my life, and it takes its toll. I asked to nothing ‘can’t you see I miss you?’, but never really thought it about myself, and that’s the kicker. Words destroy people. I’d take broken bones any day. But also, I look to my past, I cry, sure, but I fucking smile.

Without all of that, I wouldn’t be thick skinned for my job, or able to help people from experience. I wouldn’t be proud of who I am if I never went through the moments of hating my very existence.

It all happens for a reason, and if you are still reading this, then take away six simple words from this;

Never give up; never give in

You are worth it, always worth it. Just remember that you’re still alive, and that you are perfect as you are. And that if you ever need a place to turn to, come here, where I, and the 183 others will remind you why living is only half as amazing with you in it.

[bobasheebaby]

@sirbeepsalot Tumblr is being an ass and won’t let me answe your ask so we shall do it this way. You asked for all the dirt on Percy including why he calls Athena Doll and here we go it’s long (1228 words omg did I gush!) If you have anymore questions feel free to ask!

Percy, omg. Okay let me gush about my first and still favorite OC.

His full name is Duke Perceval Lennon Hunter of Winchester yea some tie ins there to Supernatural, his duchy is Winchester like my boys and his last name is Hunter cause why the fuck not? Using JDM as my faceclaim was my first thought and he shaped Percy a lot. Like his name.

Doll is 100% Percy. I was writing and he just starts calling Athena Doll, I don’t know where it came from and he doesn’t either. We talk and no it’s not weird I get in his headspace a lot, like Percy Reviews and so I really know what makes him tick, when he was asked in the fluff ABC’s he had no answer, he just felt the urge to call her Doll.

Percy had a good childhood until he hit fourteen, his mom found out about his father’s affair (yes you know her and it may come up at some point and it may be bad cause Percy really hates her) his father, Zachariah (again from Supernatural and he’s an asshole so perfect. I actually saw the actor who played him when writing Zachariah) refused to give his mother, Sandra (JDM’s mom’s name) a divorce because he wouldn’t let it affect his image. Sandra slowly fell apart and took her life, Percy found her, it was bad. Zachariah then didn’t want to deal with Percy cause rightfully so Percy hated his father so he got shipped to boarding school. His father’s actions and his mother’s death shaped him a lot. It’s why he was so angry at Liam for lying to Athena. He felt instantly drawn to Athena and in a lot of ways she reminds him of his mother and his mother was the only other person to ever call him Percy so it shows you how strong the connection was from first meeting that he told her to call him Percy. People have asked me numerous times why Percy hates Liam or Liam hates Percy and there is no reason to uncover. Percy hated Liam’s treatment of Athena and was afraid he was going to watch her fall apart the way his mother had and he would be powerless to stop it. Liam doesn’t like that Percy “wormed his way into Athena’s life”. Liam didn’t realize what he had done pushing her to the shadows could hurt her so much and therefore she may seek someone else, he just assumed if they couldn’t find Tariq he could have the perfect Queen and image and then Athena and Drake behind closed doors. WAW Liam was (is) an ass but he’s slowly learning in SOT.

Percy is bisexual, I know the way he spat some things about men and woman in Liam’s (and Leo’s) bed seemed like he had an issue with it but it was the secrets and the lies he had a problem with. He was upfront with Athena, but he also is monogamous and has zero wish to be with anyone else when he did date. Conquests will be coming I have a request for one and we’ll I have another pairing in mind, we already know he knows Leo very well.

Before Athena he had three serious girlfriend but the connection wasn’t really there with any of them.

He was a troublemaker and not someone to really follow rules growing up, he still doesn’t follow them all (playing hooky and convincing Athena to also) he and his best friend from boarding school Alex got in a bit of trouble and they also had fun touring Europe when they were younger.

Love of motorcycles especially Harley’s and he of course owns a 1936 Knucklehead and he can do any mechanic work on it. Yes he may be a Duke but he has zero issue getting his hands dirty. Oh his father would be rolling in his grave.

Percy is extremely down to earth and caring. He’s protective over the people he cares about and he does not like to make a big deal about his title, it was something he was born to nothing he earned. He has minimal staff at his estate and yes he can cook very well (I need to do a fic showing that). He considers himself a Duke of the people, he worries more about how his decisions affect those in his duchy than himself.

He’s an animal person period. Cats or dogs? Try cats and dogs. Horses, he will groom them himself.

He never thought he would find love so he never thought he would be a father but that is a major thing he looks forward to with Athena.

The proposal was very spur of the moment, he always carried his mother’s ring with him and was as if he heard her whisper on the wind that she was the one and not to drag his feet.

The kinks, oh lord that’s Percy and Athena. I’m pretty sure you all know about my certain kink pertaining to JDM and his characters well I had zero intention of that coming on board and then they kept whispering it to me. I was trying to push it back even further than I did but they weren’t having it. I’m pretty sure it’s a Cordonian man thing to like the rush of possibly being caught cause lord he meant it when he said every room of the manor. He is very dominant but he’s also caring and and can be gentle. He may be the dominant one but he follows Athena’s lead for the most part.

God he’s so perfect! I’ve been asked his flaws on multiple occasions and I sit and think for hours and let’s just call the fact that he has no flaws his flaw and be done with it! Even Athena calls him out on being too perfect during their interview so yea he’s too perfect that’s his flaw and I honestly don’t know how he ended up so damn perfect.

Percy was never meant to be endgame. Seriously, he was meant as a distraction. I put In Their Hearts on hold and started writing What Almost Was with the intention of ITH being endgame. But then I fell for Percy, Athena fell for Percy, Liam became an ass and no longer matched up with ITH so I said okay two routes at the end. I have the other final chapter of WAW I think I’ve let three people read it because they started to get cold feet with something they needed to write and it’s like I broke Percy you got this. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t go through with the other route I had actual anxiety attacks over this character I created being alone it’s insane but I’ve reread the entire series twice and it now makes sense it was always their story even if it wasn’t the plan.

Percy is a pure ball of fluff. He is the character who showed me how to fluff, if he can’t turn angst around with his fluff you know it’s bad. He’s sweet and supportive and I love him. I’m so glad that so many of you love him too! I’m always happy to gush about this man, feel free to ask any direct questions about the perfect man. Lol.

[seungmin-jpeg]

Stray Kids On Tumblr / Felix

Chan // Woojin // Minho // Changbin // Hyunjin // Jisung // Felix // Seungmin // Jeongin

I have waited a long time to write this one 

Half the reason i started this series was to write for him tbh

Anyways

Started his blog long before he became a trainee 

But A LOT of effort into it

Spent hours looking for the perfect desktop theme

Then spent a day working on it to make it have is own little ‘felix flare’ 

And then spent hoooooours working on his mobile header

Naturally very proud of his blog

Works really hard to make good posts

Majority is just memes 

Or recreations of memes

Reblogs a lot of old vines

He’s the type of blog to get all those weird random asks from people

And he always has witty comebacks

So sometimes his posts will blow up

He just has that typical tumblr humor 

And it really made his blog blow up

Ends up having one famous post with like 100k reblogs and is still growing and he still thinks its the dumbest posts he’s made his whole life

But thats tumblr for you

Sometimes he’d be working on a big post 

And then tumblr would do that dumb thing 

Where it freezes on you and you cant post things

The amounts of times his family heard him yelling from up in his room as tumblr crashed on him yet again

anyways

Honestly wasn’t super aware of kpop 

But like 

Of course he knew about it

And then he made it through the audition 

And he was like oh hey

I kinda gotta figure out whats going on here

So he 

Like the smart person he is

Searches through the tumblr tag

And oh yikes

The majority of the tag was bts and got7

And he was like 

Sweet

And then staff at the company told him watching kdramas will always help him learn korean

So 

Because of this extreme change in his life 

And the need to learn the language as fast as possible

He searches for some good kdramas to watch

So again he turns to tumblr

And he finds some good recommendations 

But he cant reblog it to his main blog 

Because ??? he cant expose himself like this to all he’s meme followers

So he real quick makes a side blog for all his kpop/kdrama needs

And reblogs a few kdrama recommendations 

And a few kpop song recommendations as well

But he’s only find rec’s for all those old classic kdramas 

Like playful kiss and boys over flowers 

Not really his speed yah know

So thats when he stumbles across your blog 

He had just found one of your posts about kdramas 

And he real quick messages you on anon and was like hey have any recs

And you were like YES!!!1!!1!

So you gave him a good list

Grouping them by themes and such 

And then highlighted some of your favorites 

He ended up being drawn to one title 

“Uncontrollably fond” 

And you had mentioned that it was really sad

So he googled it to try and see what it was about

And when you google it one of the first things it says about the drama is 

“A man and woman meet again after they broke up in the past.”

So he was like alright that one it is

Catch him later trying to find out who wrote that description because there was so much more to that drama

He literally could not put it down

Lowkey forgot half way through he was supposed to be trying to learn korean

Watched an episode every night before bed

Because yah know he was packing and stuff

Part of it helped with the stress of leaving his home and such

The other part was just because it was super addicting to watch

Of course he had to take a small break of watching it just because life got to hectic with packing and everything

But he had an overlay on the way to korea

So he watched the drama at the airport

Catch this teenage boy trying not to cry in the airport omg

As he sat in the airport he was like

I gotta talk to someone about this

So he searched up your blog again and left an ask

And because you’re always on tumblr you got it right away. 

“Im sitting in the airport on the verge of tears because of uncontrollably fond why’d you recommend this to me” 

You chuckled to yourself as you read his ask

“I told you it’d be sad!” you finally decided to answer

You had totally forgotten about the person who had asked for recs

It was nice to see them again

The two of you talked back and forth for a bit

And then you got a message 

“I got tired of leaving asks so i’m just going to message you now. A lot easier.” 

You asked him when his flight was, and how much of the show you had left

And he was like 

Not enough time 

He was to invested now

You recommended maybe waiting to watch the last few episodes until he was alone and had a box of tissues

Earning a laugh from him

Like the curious person you are

You asked him where he was going 

And he just kinda said korea and then asked about the soundtrack to the drama

So you didn’t push anymore

Because it seemed like something he didn’t really want to talk about 

So inteast you talked about the soundtrack

Found out he really really liked the song “a little braver”

So you listened to the song while you talked with him

While you waited for him to get back to you

You scrolled through his blog

It was kinda sad looking and had the default theme 

And he had a random mix of kpop and kdrama recs

So you asked him if he was new to the whole kpop/kdrama world

And he was like “kinda” 

Cue you saying if he ever wanted any recs on anything to ask you because you got him

And he just chuckled and said he had to catch his flight, but he’d remember that

And that he’d message you as soon as he finished the drama

Later in the week you got a message from some random meme blog

About uncontrollably fond 

And you were like wtf

Why is this popular weird meme blog messaging me about a kdrama

So you were like um who???

And he was like shoot wrong blog!!

Then switched to his kpop blog

You laughed to yourself thinking about how yet another person had been converted to the dark side

Little did you know

He was PART OF the dark side

You followed his main blog too

Because why not

And the two of you talked a lot 

You found out what a big jokester he was

And just how funny he could be

But that he was also super emotional and wore his feelings on his sleeve

The two of you went from talking about kdramas and random kpop things to little parts of your day

He’d complain to you about learning korean and the language barrier issues he’d always run into

And how tired he was at the end of the day

And you’d tell him about school

And the little things about your country you felt like he would like hearing about 

The two of you never even exchanged names

Just referred to each other as your urls 

Months past

He wasn’t on tumblr as much 

Even his main blog started to stop posting 

Which he always at least had queued up stuff

You’d leave him little encouraging messages every now and then

But he’d always take forever to respond

Instead 

You occupied yourself with the new show jyp was putting out 

Becoming way to invested for your own good 

And getting especially drawn to a certain member named felix

Something felt familiar about him

And you felt really drawn to him

But you just assumed it was because of his personality 

And the fact that he could speak english 

Then the dreaded day came 

Felix was eliminated 

And you felt like the world had swallowed all your joy

You decided to message your kdrama friend 

Just a simple hey

And he actually responded to your disbelief 

He seemed just as down as you 

So you two just ended up being sad together 

And then you were like 

Isn’t it like 3am there?

He was like yah

You were like ??? go to bed ???

He said he couldn’t fall asleep so you suggested watching a movie

So the two of you headed over to rabb.it

Ended up watching Your Name 

Half way through the movie he ended up asking you why you were so upset

So you told him that your favorite person from a survival show had been eliminated 

And you could see he wasn’t typing anything after you had sent the message off

So you asked him why he was upset

You watched him type something 

Then delete it 

Type it up again 

Then delete it again

It went on for a bit before you little ‘pop’ sounded and his message came in

“I got eliminated off a survival show” it read

And you were ??? 

Do you take this seriously or not ???

So you just kinda said “are you okay”

And he was like maybe

So you asked how he was maybe okay

He replied by saying that it was nice to have someone to talk to who wasn’t in the show itself but also wasn’t family

Youre super confused now because this is felix you’ve been talking too???

When you actually sat back and thought about it 

The timeline all made sense

It would make sense if this was actually felix

The movie now long forgotten played on as you asked him if he was really felix 

And he responded with a funny little smilie face

“I am but you really can’t tell anyone” 

“Felix aren’t you supposed to not be doing this? I thought they took away phones and stuff tho??” 

He explained everything and it all made sense but you were still shook to the core because youre talking with the felix lee right now

But you took the chance to tell him everything every fan wanted to tell him at that moment

You told him how proud you and everyone else was of him

And how people were already working on making sure both him and minho ended up back in stray kids

And by the way he talked you could tell he was happier 

Not much later you were excitedly congratulating him on making it back in

And everything was perfect 

Because the weird person asking you about kdramas

Months and months later ended up being the person you loved the most 

Without even knowing it

The two of you had a special secret friendship that no one knew about

And no one would know about for a long long time

And you were honestly okay with that

[thatuncoolasianpotato]

11 Questions

Rules: answer the 11 questions posed by the person who tagged you, then write 11 questions & tag 11 people to answer them.

OOF this took me a long time to finally do ahahaha

Hallooooo !! now I know this is very far from the kind of things i post on Tumblr but my friend @readmancy tagged me and I genuinely enjoy being tagged in stuff so here ya go !!

Questions for me !!

1. When are your most productive hours of the day?

Tbh I’m very inclined to say I have no productive hours of the day because I’m usually always procrastinating AHAHAHAHA but uhhh for weekdays I’d have to say 6-10 PM (or 4 AM when I occasionally have to cram something) and for weekends 11 AM-4 PM

2. What’s something about yourself that you really like and/or are really proud of?

Not gonna lie, I actually had to think about this question for a while. . .

I guess I’d have to say my emotions and my ability to convey them? Usually I really hate it when I get emotional, but I found that when I’m acting (which I find so much fun to do) being really emotional is an absolute must so that makes me kinda good at it !! Also occasionally my singing voice on really good days

3. What tips would you give to someone who has to stay up really late for school-related projects but doesn’t drink coffee?

I actually fall under this category since coffee does not work on me lmao

Here’s the stuff that I usually do (I hope some of them work out for other people out there !!)

Splash some really cold water on your face (sometimes I literally just dab ice on my face ahahaha)

(If you don’t get easily distracted) play some really loud music, TV show, or YouTube video in the background

Eat some chocolate or some other form of sugar

Take a five minute break to do some jumping jacks or do some really energetic dancing

Motivate yourself using fandoms !! (Ex. “If I finish my math hw right now, I bet Pidge would be really proud of me.” • “If Hamilton could write the other 51, I can write the last three pages of this research paper !!”)

Drink lots of water

Take 10-15 minute naps after completing a certain amount of work (BUT MAKE SURE TO GET BACK UP AGAIN)

4. What do you listen to when you study?

I listen to this playlist I made that consists of instrumental songs/piano covers (so I don’t get too distracted while studying ahaha). It contains songs from Waitress the Musical, Your Lie in April, Doki Doki Literature Club, Yuri On Ice, Angel Beats, Anohana, Undertale, Dodie Clark, and Liana Flores !!

5. What are you like when you have a serious crush on someone?

OOF I am a total mess omg

I can’t speak when I’m near them (or end up saying something really stupid in a futile attempt to impress them), I freak out over every little thing they say or do to me and spend up to weeks overthinking and over analyzing it, i daydream A LOT, I write about them A LOT A LOT, I plan to low key give them things or do something to express my attraction towards them but in a super subtle way but I usually just end up chickening out, I talk about them to all my friends (and apparently if I really like them enough I start blushing like crazy)

So uuhhhh yea,,,,

6. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever done to you?

So many people have done so many nice things to me that I really wouldn’t be able to determine the nicest thing ever.

But the one that immediately came to mind when I read this question was this one time my best friend helped me out when my house almost burned down on my birthday. I was a complete mess and I couldn’t stop crying because my house might burn down and on my special day no less. My best friend’s mom came over to me and asked if I wanted to stay over at their house first (since we were neighbors back then). At their house, they ordered pizza in honor of my birthday and we watched movies and played and joked around a lot. My best friend and her whole family made me feel so much better and they genuinely made me forget about all the stress I was feeling at that time :))

(Also if anyone’s curious, my house didn’t actually get burned down BUT it was very close to)

7. Why did you join Tumblr and is it still the same reason you’re still here?

Well,,, I joined Tumblr because I wanted to find a place where I could find people who had the same interests and fandoms as me !! I also really wanted to see some really cool fan art and read some amazing head canons and fanfics. Oh and a lot of my friends had Tumblr and I was just really curious about what all the hype was about.

It’s still the same reason, although my blog has become ahmm way more Voltron & Plance-centric that I intended it to be AHAHAHAHAHA

8. What’s your favorite soda?

Hmm I’d have to say either Coke or Royal

9. What makes you weird?

Uhhhhh,,, I used to think I was a really weird person but then I interacted with people on the internet and I realized what I thought was weird about me wasn’t actually that weird or that some people were way way way weirder (and I generally mean weird in a really nice way !!) so um idk if any of these things are really that weird:

I am allergic to dogs but I own one and I will absolutely pet yours and hang out with them even if that means that my allergies will attempt to kill me later on

No matter what is happening, I will leave a room if someone mentions “mangoes” or “Havana” starts playing

No matter the context, I will start laughing so loud if anyone says “watermelon” or says “You’re cute, but you’re not my type”

When I find something really really really funny, I start crying

I talk to myself A LOT and I’m pretty sure people question my sanity because of that

I feel really bad about calling anything “it” *cough* because of DBH *cough* also I apologize to inanimate objects profusely when I hit into them

I get really triggered by colors ((I blame Voltron for this one))

10. Where do you like staying that’s all yours?

I guess I’d have to say my room. I don’t really have any other place that’s completely mine. It’s cozy and is one of the only places where I can genuinely be alone in my house.

11. How many things do you know how to ride?

Um,, cars, trains, and jeepneys so three things (yesh, Idk how to ride a bike,,, embarrassing, I know)

Questions for you !!

1. What’s your favorite book quote ?

2. Stargazing or cloud gazing ?

3. Sunrise or sunset ?

4. What’s an object that reminds you of home ?

5. What’s your opinion on handwritten notes ?

6. Who are the people that inspire you the most ?

7. What‘s the funniest/most creative ship name you’ve ever heard ?

8. Song that you will always dance/sing along to, no matter what ?

9. Hobby that you’ve never tried, but really really want to?

10. Would you rather swim in the ocean or in a freshwater river/lake ?

11. If you could live in one fictional universe, which one would you pick ?

Tag, you’re it

((Oof i don’t know enough people to tag 11 people ahahahaha))

@starsofaurora

@neutraladvocate

@misoan

@cxmp-14

@sirkookiekat

@ anyone who sees this and wants to do this, you’re very much welcome to do this !! <3

[peakyblinders-au]

Kassandra Shelby née Kitakis

Submit to “peakyblinders-au” on Tumblr

Tumblr Url & Your Real Name: @peakersblindy - Erika

Character Full Name: Kassandra Shelby née Kitakis

Nicknames/Alias: Kassie

Backstory for nicknames/alias/names: you don’t have to add anything here if its unnecessary

Gender: Female, she/her

Gender Role: housewife & mommy

Sexual Orientation: straight (unless may carleton shows up)

Age: 27

Birthday: November 26, 1892

Deathday: please don’t kill me i need to make sure my son is ok

Birthplace: Sparta, Greece

Ethnicity: Greek-born but raised in England (Greek English??)

Family Members: not related to any of the Shelby’s or their friends by blood but by marriage/child through Tommy

Children: Tommy and I have a son together, little James Rokko Shelby. I met Tommy while he was in France as a tunneller, I was a nurse in the army and had to bandage him up fairly often. We understood each other well and fell in love and had a baby. Jamesy was born in France and is only a few months old when we get to go home

Face shape: oval

Eye colour: green

Hair colour: brown

Hairstyle: Long and wavy like a goddess

Skin tone: light olive skin (that tans easily)

Complexion: like a goddamn porcelain doll (not really but i wish so yeah make her beautiful!)

Body type/Build: thin with proportionate features

Height: 5’5”

Weight: 125 lbs

Breast size: 34b

Facial Hair: no thank you except for eyebrows

Scars/Birthmarks/Prominent Features: septum piercing (does that count?)

Preferred hand: Rightie

Health: able-bodied

Phobias: drowning, James losing his daddy

Addictions: whiskey and cigarettes because of Tommy (but she enjoys them responsibly because mom)

Mental Disorders: Has severe daddy issues from a messed up childhood, only Tommy knows the truth about it and knows how to comfort her and help the nightmares. She just needs to feel loved and taken care of and Tommy does that for her.

Attitude: SPICY very spicy, but also very loving and compassionate and friendly to those she trusts. She’s an actual Spartan so no one messes with her. She has resting bitch face (much like Tommy which is why they understand each other). She would literally take a bullet to the head for her son.

Expressions: lots of angry eyebrows, she bites her lip when she’s nervous or worried, lots of shrugs and “idk” when she is annoyed

Residence: She lives in Tommy’s mansion. She shares a bed with him (on the nights he actually sleeps) She’s the Wifey™

Political Affiliation: She grew up dirt poor so she probably secretly admires commies but she would never join herself. She tends to take Tommy’s side on politics whatever it may be at the moment

Friends: She is close with Arthur, Ada and Finn, but tends to butt heads with John. She’s friends with mostly everyone as she is known as Mrs. Shelby and likes to keep her acquaintances in good standing. Childhood friend of Alfie Solomons. He was her older neighbor growing up in Camden Town and she spent hours playing with him to get away from her dad. She is very good friends with Ekaterina, she took her in because she saw a tiny part of her younger, wilder self in her. And also probably Nikki and Denise’s characters- if that’s okay?

Enemies: She’s a Shelby now so anyone who crosses them is dead to her. She doesn’t like Kimber, Sabini, or anyone else that takes a stab at her husband/baby daddy.

Boss: Tommy is her boss, she is an integral part of the business because she handles ALL of Tommy’s paperwork

Pets: James has a small white dog that follows him everywhere and protects him at all times (You can name him)

Finances: She works for and with the Shelby family so she’s a Rich Bitch™

Marital Status: married Tommy in France by the river after she told him she was preggy

Sex Life: HELL YEAH smut this bitch up!

Lovers: she’s only ever fucked Tommy and isn’t tryna get with anyone else YET

Turn-ons: omg all the dommy!tommy stuff pretty much: choking, spanking, spitting, hair pulling, nipple tugging; when Tommy comes home covered in blood

Turn-offs: Creepy old men, she is very wary of men who remind her of her dad

Dom or Sub: sub but can definitely be dom and take control of the situation when asked (or hinted at)

Fantasies: I’m gonna aim high and say a threesome with Tommy and Michael…

Occupation: she manages all the clerical work for Shelby Company Ltd. so she’s at the office most days, but she’s with her little boy every minute she’s not working

Income: Shelby money

Work Experience: she took care of the wounded men at the Somme

Religion: I’m with tommy on this one: ALL RELIGION IS A FOOLISH ANSWER TO A FOOLISH QUESTION

Criminal Record: A baddie at heart and when no one’s looking but never on paper

Morals: morals because she has to teach her son to be a proper gentleman but also no morals because she deals with the Shelby’s and their enemies

Main Goal: Main goal is just to support Tommy and his terrible decisions, and raise their son and try to steer him away from the family business and send him to school to become a scientist or something

Ambitions: really just wants to be a good wife and mommy, set a good example for her son

Regrets: never going to school for a proper career

Secrets: Her dad was a real piece of shit and molested her throughout her infancy and childhood hence her severe daddy issues- Tommy is the only person alive who knows about it and can soothe her

Best memories: when she told Tommy she was pregnant and Tommy looked at her wide-eyed as a single tear started to fall down his cheek and the biggest smile come over him, he took her face in his hands and put their foreheads together “so you’re havin’ my baby eh?”

Worst memories: the last few months in France were akin to torture because everyday as she sat rubbing her growing belly, she hoped Tommy would come back at the end of the day. She was so afraid of seeing him go into the tunnels and never come back out.

Hobbies: She loves to knit little hats and gloves for Jamesy, she also knits Tommy some hats and he’s been seen wearing them only to be made fun of my his brothers. She also loves to have a few whiskeys with Tommy at the end of a long day ;)

Skills: she was an army nurse so she is a first aid expert and is the one everyone runs to when they’ve gotten hurt in a fight or an accident

Likes: rainy days by the fire, dark colors, flowers, laughing, being a mommy

Dislikes: blatantly rude people, people who overstep their boundaries, know-it-alls

Superstitions: the only thing she believes in is science

Quirks: she’s weird and clumsy but also very knowledgeable about certain things

Guilty Pleasures: talking back, getting people to admit they’re wrong

Strengths: charming, good with money, loyal to a fault, organized, she just loves to make sure her people feel supported  

Weaknesses: JEALOUS, a little vain, argumentative, doesn’t like to give in, can be childish

Languages: Greek, English, and French (learned it to talk with the soldiers)

Accent: from Camden Town so ?? Londony i guess

Speech Impediments: none

Voice: kinda on the low side but gets increasingly higher when she’s excited about something

Reputation: she doesnt really have one she’s just known for being Tommy’s wife/secretary and baby momma

Backstory: She comes from immigrant parents with 4 siblings so she was always kinda scraping what she could for herself and always very independent. She had a tumultuous relationship with both her parents and at the age of 18 she left to join the army as a nurse. She didn’t care what she had to so as long as she got to get away from her awful father. She ended up breaking off all contact with her family. During her time as a nurse she saw it all: broken bones, missing limbs, and strained spirits. That is where she met Thomas Shelby. He had been shot when he was brought in. She had never seen a soldier look so handsome and perfect while lying there bleeding. That was the first of many times she bandaged Tommy up and sent him back out to the battlefield. They became very close and eventually she became pregnant. It was shock all around at first and then instant excitement and love and hope for the future. They were married by the river in front of all their friends and Tommy’s brothers. Their baby boy was born in France but soon after they were able to come home and Tommy brought his new family back to Small Heath.

[mariamuses]

Tumblr Friends

Chapter 3 ~ It’s a HE

I woke up tucked in my bed like a burrito, which could only mean one thing: Elain had come home late from her date with Azriel and had found me asleep sitting in the bed with the computer on, and had shut it off, only to wrap me up with my comforter and leave me that.

I fought for a good minute, trying to get out of what felt like a straitjacket. When I was finally out, I picked up my laptop and turned it on. Or tried.

Oh, come on!

I tried for the hundredth time, but it didn’t turn on, so I figured that Elain had just closed it without shutting it off, so the battery was dead.

Great.

That meant that until I plugged it in and left it for a good half an hour, I wouldn’t be able to use it.

So, I decided to download Tumblr on my phone, so I could see how my drawings were doing. I didn’t expect them to have many notes or likes, because my account was made less than a week ago and I literally had zero followers, but maybe the tags had helped people to find them.

I logged in and accepted to get the notifications. A second later, I regretted it. My phone started beeping and making weird noises, only to shut down instantly.

What. The actual. Fuck? Did tumblr put a virus on my phone or did I just get so many notifications that my phone went berserk?

I stared my phone up again, and… Yup, there were exactly 394 notes on the drawings. Most of them were from people with usernames related to Brandon Sanderson (as I predicted), and they had also reblogged with very nice and encouraging messages. I had, as well, a few messages from people suggesting more characters to sketch and sharing their reactions to the fanart. There even was one girl who told me that my drawing of KaIadin and Syl had made her day. I answered every single one of them, trying to give good advice when they asked for it, and thanking all for sharing it. It was Sunday, so I took my sweet time with it.

However, there was a message I ignored until I was done. I wasn’t being mean, I just was on full fangirl mode because stormblessed-radiant had contacted me. When I saw the name on my inbox I squealed so loud I scared myself.

At long last, I opened it and read:

stormblessed-radiant: Hello! I just saw the three drawings you posted last night. I loved them all, but I’m exceptionally honored for the Aadya one. I don’t know how you managed it, but it’s exactly the way I picture her... I would be very grateful if you tagged me on every piece you uploaded from now on.

I gawked at the message for a long time until the noise of my computer returning to life from the dead startled me into motion. I decided to write him back, and not to worry myself too much.

Also, turn the fangirling down a few notches.

I started typing:

fey-oathbringer: OMG! Hi!!!! Sorry for not answering sooner, I fell asleep. I can’t actually believe you saw the drawings!!! It was actually my pleasure to draw Aadya. I fell in love with her the minute she appeared in your fics (which btw are fantastic and helped me get through a lot this past week) and couldn’t help myself but to draw her. I will absolutely tag you.

I pressed sent. And then I horrified myself.

Great work keeping the fangirling down, Feyre. Great work.

As I was chastising myself, he wrote another message.

stormblessed-radiant: Hello, darling. No worries, I just woke up too. We must be in similar time zones ;) I’m glad it helped you through tough times, bc I wrote it so it would help me through some. 

fey-oathbringer: Wait, where do you live?? Shit, no, don’t tell me personal information through here. What time zone are you in? And I’m NOT your darling.

stormblessed-radiant: Hahahahahaha, you are hilarious, darling. I live in Prythian. It’s a pretty big city, so no real danger in someone suddenly finding me and selling my address to tumblr-papparazzis ;)

fey-oathbringer: You are a snarky little thing, aren’t you? Well, for your information I also live in Prythian. Now, I am trusting you not to sell my information yeah?

The conversation went on and on, and our knowledge of each other grew with it. We started asking simple but quirky, questions, such as our favorite color, favorite Brandon Sanderson book, favorite music artist... Only to move on to deeper territory. Everything with Tamlin came up, my parents, his parents...

Yes, he’s a HE. Just like I told you. 

Why would that matter, though? It’s not like he’s going to be my boyfriend, is he?

Nope, definitely not a boyfriend.

Altough we DO live in the same city... 

STOP! Too fast Feyre, too fast.

We only stopped messaging the right amount of time for me to go from my phone to my computer after breakfast, and to make and eat lunch and dinner.

My sisters weren’t home, again, because they went on a double dinner date (yuck!) with Cassian and Azriel, and at lunch the had a normal date with them. So, I didn’t have to worry about keeping the appearances of being a sane person not hooked up to the computer talking to a stranger about the darkest secrets of her life.

As the night was closing in, I said goodbye to my Tumblr friend (we hadn’t exchanged names just yet, because we wanted to leave that, in case we met in person) and went downstairs with a blanket around my body as if I were a superhero. Then I went to the kitchen, made myself some popcorn and hooked myself to Netflix. I browsed for Stranger Things, their latest show, which was making a breakthrough, and started Chapter One: The Vanishing of Will Byers.

Only when the third chapter was at the beginning did my eyes get heavy and I fell asleep on the couch.

There’s a hazy feeling about that night. I remember voices, deep voices, which weren’t my sisters’, and then I was flying, and then on very soft clouds... And out again.

Okay, we’re getting to the good part guys!!! Thank you for reading ;)

I’m tagging these magnificent people @songbirdsbooks @kaliejane26 @personpersonper @turtlesnook @highladyfxyre . If you want to get tagged, message me!!

Read it on AO3

[did-you-even-make-a-sound]

Can you write the Connor x Internet friend! Reader as a fanfic. I would love it if you did.

Message Me || Connor Murphy x Reader (PART 1 OF 5)

requested : yep prompt: n/a pairing : connor murphy x reader warnings : suicide plan mention additional notes : reader is female, based off of a Connor X Internet friend reader headcanon by @watch-the-whole-world-disappear, they meet on tumblr, connor runs an Edgy™ Aesthetic Blog, WHICH I RUN BTW, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING ON IT YET BUT YEAH FOLLOW ME AT @connor-fvckng-mvrphy lmao it’s a Connor roleplay blog

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Bored is such a boring word. In this moment, you’ve never heard a word that describes you so much.

You scroll listlessly through your tumblr, liking random images and quotes from this one aesthetic blog that you follow. Your eyes wander, not that you’re finding anything interesting, until you come across an interesting poem.   

dark-aesthetic🔃connor-fvckng-mvrphy 

I have to get this off my chest before I straighten every crooked object offensive clutter distraction OCD nervous as fuck I’ll pull out every hair or tear my fingers off If I don’t figure out how to look in your eyes without screaming

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I can’t remember anything before you I can’t imagine anything without you I want to live the rest of my life with you

But only if you think I’m cool We should just kill ourselves

‘Interesting,' You think, 'Edgy, but very interesting.’

This guy (girl? other?) seems interesting. Relatable. You click on their name, intrigued.

At one click, you fall in love with the account. You follow on first sight.

According to his bio, his name is Connor and he’s seventeen. His posts consist of black-and-white photos of chipped nail-polish, of pale wrists with even paler scars zigzagged across the stick-thin appendage. Quotes by Poe, little poems like the first one you read. 

He’s tortured, you know. But you can’t bring yourself to message him, like the little stalker you are.

Hours of pouring over his account turn into days, days into weeks, until finally you have been an avid fan of his for a month. 

And then it all comes crashing down.

One day, you refresh your page, bored, and there’s a new post from him. Literally must have been posted not even a minute ago. 

connor-fvcking-mvrphy 

this is not going to be a great week or year or life or anything inbetween i thought for a millisecond that i had found a friend a kindred spirit but you fucking tore it up

fuck you, E.H. your friend too go ahead and laugh laugh all you want but will you be laughing when the school shooter is dead?

goodbye

You’re worried.

This poem…was not like the others.

This was angry. This was raw. This was…this was real.

You bite your lip. Your eyes flick down to the tags.

#suicide plan #goodbye

Shit. Your eyes widen and you click on your inbox, typing in a message frantically

you hi I know you don’t know me but I just saw the tags on your newest poem and im freaking out please please don’t kill yourself I’m sorry it’s just your poems are really relatable and help me a lot and i feel like I’ve gotten to know you through them and oh my god you probably think I’m so creepy I’m so sorry

You wait, terrified, for a response.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three,

four,

five.

There is no answer, and you bury your head in your pillow and try not to cry. You can’t help it, your shoulders shake with wracking sobs. You probably failed at saving this guy, you failed so bad. You suck, oh god, you suck.

After another five minutes of sobbing, you hear a loud ding from your phone, and you blearily stare at the screen through unshed tears.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy im flattered I didn’t realise that somebody actually read my poems or my tags or cared or…

You gasp in relief, fingers tap-tap-tapping out a reply. 

you OH thank god I thought that you had… Are you okay?? thats a stupid question omg I'm sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy im fine actually…i feel much better. thanks for, you know. caring.

you Anytime! I’m [y/n] btw

connor-fvckng-mvrphy connor

you i know thats creepy oh my god;sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy it’s fine ig I mean it is in my bio so??? its chill

you :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy so this might sound weird but ???? you’re…pretty cool. i just looked over your account and wanted to know well you know want to talk more???

you wow im??? Really???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah i mean you helped me there,,,like a lot,,,

you id love to !!!!

You talked almost every day. When you got down to it…he was a sweetheart. He was kind. He got you.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy do you think, like… well ever get to meet each other?? imean you’re a really great friend now and??? id like to meet you.

you i wish but we live like eight hours away from each other…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy ill drive to you!

you calm down, connor…lmao we don’t want you burning out on the way

connor-fvckng-mvrphy :( I don’t even know what you look like…

you i don’t know what you look like either! XD

connor-fvckng-mvrphy shit well if I send you a picture of me will you do the same?

you sure ig

connor-fvckng-mvrphyme.jpg my sister took the photo so,,,

you WHOA YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF I THINK IM IN LOVE

connor-fvckng-mvrphy id prefer handsome but I’ll take it your turn, missy.

you hnnghhh okaybewarnedIlooklikeapotato.jpg

connor-fvckng-mvrphy … holy shit

you bad???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE??? WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IM-

you no no no I am definitely not wtf you need your eyes checked?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy no way you’re fucking adorable i think /I’m/ in love you cute lil motherfucker

 connor-fvckng-mvrphy we should swap phone numbers

you and skype??

connor-fvckng-mvrphy fuck yeah

you oKay !!! im [skype/name] and my number is [number]

connor-fvckng-mvrphy my Skype is the same as my tumblr and my phone number is XXXX XXXXXX

you saved and I just texted you too :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy 'hi Connor!!!!’ with a bunch of happy emojis? dude you’re just,,, thats really fucking cute

you wh y???? do you keep calling me cute I’m???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy because, as it turns out, i have a really cute best friend

you best friend?? awww connor!!!

connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah yeah you’re literally all I have, [y/n]

you you’re my best friend too!! i really wish i could meet you…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy  me too…hold on a sec

you connor??? you okay???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy my sister just walked in and was being a dick, being nosy about who I’m talking to and not believing that it was a friend. She thinks I’m talking to my dealer. i fucking hate her sometimes

you do you?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy …no but she thinks I do. It’s easier to let her.

you *internet hug*

connor-fvckng-mvrphy Fuck…that’s cute.

 As time went on, you found yourself more and more drawn to Connor. His photos could always make you smile, and nothing brightened up a shitty day more than clicking on his Skype name and watching him answer a video call, smiling dopily at the camera.

And also as time went on…you slowly began to realise why.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck, you were in love with a guy eight hours away. A guy that you had never met in real life. What do you do?

…You continue pining for him over a distance, of course.

You watch yourself in the screen, waiting for Connor to pick up the Skype call. Soon enough, he does, and his grinning face fills the screen.

“Hey, [y/n].” He greets sleepily - it’s like, midnight over there - and rests his chin on his hands.

“Heya.” You wave at the camera, grinning sheepishly and a little shyly. The thrill of actually seeing him rather than just a message still gets you.

“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, huh?”

“Yep! Any special girl that you had in mind?” You ask, a hopeful smile plastered on your face.

“No, well…actually…” He furrows his brow, and your heart drops.

“Is she pretty?” You ask, concealing your jealousy. You could be there for him.

“She’s cute. Like, really fucking cute.” Connor says, watching you carefully.

Truth be told, Connor felt the same way. He was absolutely crazy about you, but he didn’t want to ruin this adorably heartwarming friendship you had.

To wake up and have no more *internet hug* messages or cute little reminders…it’d ruin his life. You were absolutely the only thing keeping him going.

You talked for ages, until it was about 2:30 on his end. Before long, he was getting tired. 

“I should go soon.” He says drowsily. 

“Mmmm.” You don’t want him to go. “Night, Con.”

“G'night.” He yawns. “Love you.”

You freeze. He freezes and hurriedly leaves the video chat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Connor slams his head on his desk, pissed off. “I fucked up. I fucked up.” He mumbles.

A small chime comes from his computer and he bites his lip, glancing reluctantly at the screen.

you i love you too!!!!