#omg he totally did this out of jealousy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

melrodrigo · 1 year ago

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I really love puppy love omg 😭😭 what about when puppy like reader gets really injured by someone and ends up in the clinic and tries to hide it so that wednesday wont notice? Its up to you if you wanna write it!

ty babe! i’m glad you like it

i might’ve gone a little overboard and wrote more than i thought i would, enjoy!

Okay. Maybe picking a fight with a 6’2 giant wasn’t your brightest idea.

It started in fencing class, you making your way towards Enid, for a pair exercise. Wednesday wasn’t in class today, opting instead to sneak out and work on the hyde case, she had mentioned briefly.

“Yeah dude, Wednesday is sooo into me. I can feel it. She’s been giving me so many signals.” You hear as you walk past Xavier and his hoard of friends.

You can’t help the sudden tug in your heart, and the small voice in your head that said maybe he was right.

Wednesday had been spending a lot of time with Xavier lately, but she had claimed it was for the hyde case. It didn’t help the swell of jealousy that surged through you whenever you saw them though.

Stupid feelings. Why are you jealous anyway? It’s not like you and Wednesday are together.

A voice cuts you out of your thoughts, “Totally dude, and when you finally hit that, you gotta tell me alll the details alright?”

Your face scrunches in disgust, hands on both sides of your body starting to clench into fists.

“You know I will. I swear, she’s all over me. Next time we’re alone together, it’s on.” Xavier replies, drawing an emphasis on the last word.

Nope, that’s it.

You turn sharply and bring your clenched fists up to your face, resembling the stance of a boxer.

It probably looked a little funny, since you were what, a million feet shorter than him? But you honestly couldn’t have cared less in the moment.

“Don’t you dare talk about her like that.” You hiss, eyes hard and unforgiving.

Xavier stays quiet for a moment, then let’s out a loud laugh.

“And what are you going to do about it, huh? Wednesday’s not here to protect your ass this time.” He drawls, smirk on his crusty thin lips.

He leans in, too close for comfort and whispers, “Wednesday would never give you the light of day. You’re so pathetically in love with her, all of us can see it. But Wednesday’s in love with me.”

He pauses for a moment, like he’s trying to think of something good to say.

“And when we finally fuck, i’ll be sure to send you some photo evidence.”

That does it. You snap, lunging forward and grabbing his hair, pulling harshly.

“Ow! Get off of me!”

It’s hard to remember what happens next, you’re so lost in the fury and rage of it all you can barely register that you’re suddenly on top of him, pummeling his stupid face with all your might.

You grin in satisfaction as you see blood start to make its way from his lips down to his neck.

But your luck doesn’t last very long, and he manages to kick up at a certain weak spot between your legs, leaving you to stumble and hit the floor.

Groaning, you try and get up, but he’s faster. The adrenaline is fading away, and you’re starting to realize that he is in fact a lot stronger, even if you hate to admit it.

You start to lose feeling in the right side of your face, where his knuckles have collided against your skin. Bruises form so fast you almost let out a chuckle, was your skin really that sensitive?

“That’s enough! Xavier get off YN.” The teacher’s voice booms. Could he really not have cut in sooner?

“Enid, take YN to the nurses office.”

You barely register Enid and Ajax rushing over to you, taking you in their arms and dragging you out the classroom.

You smile a toothy grin at them.

“Did I win?” And then everything turns to black.

______

When you wake up again, Enid’s at your side immediately, looking down at you, worry prominent in her eyes.

“YN! Are you okay?”

You nod, only to find out that it’s extremely difficult to move your head and not feel like you just broke every bone in your body.

“I’m good.” You croak.

You look around the room, relieved to find that Wednesday wasn’t there. You don’t think you could bear the look she would give you, so full of worry and so unlike Wednesday.

“Where’s Wednesday?” You manage out, looking at Enid expectedly.

“She hasn’t come back from Jericho yet.” Enid confirms your suspicions, sounding a little uneasy.

“Xavier’s really got to watch his back, I have no idea what Wednesday’s going to do when she finds out about this, but it’s NOT going to be pretty.” She continues, eyes wide.

At that, your own eyes widen, and you try to shake your head.

“No no, Enid, please don’t tell Wednesday about this. I don’t want her to see me in this shape.” You reach for Enid’s hand, making sure she’s looking at you.

“But…”

“Please, Enid. You don’t have to lie or anything, just tell her you don’t know where I am. I’ll be good in a couple of days.” You plead.

“Alright, fine.” She mumbles, taking your hand in hers and rubbing the back in comfort.

——

The next few days are spent in agony. The pain is starting to subside, but you still look like a beat up raisin. Purple and green bruises litter your skin, but the real sense of pain is coming from the distance between you and Wednesday.

You two had grown….very somewhat close the last few months, though the both of you would never admit it.

It was extremely hard trying to avoid Wednesday, and even harder to cover the bruises on your face. One good look and you knew she would’ve figured it out.

So for the past week, you’ve stumbled into bushes, fallen over benches, and hit the corridor walls in an attempt to swerve from Wednesday many times.

Every time she tried to approach you, you’d hang your head low, never meeting her eyes.

It was going well for the most part, until Ms.Thornhill had decided she wanted people to work in pairs.

You crossed your fingers, praying to the lord that you didn’t even worship you wouldn’t be stuck with Wednesday.

But to no avail, your luck once again ran out.

“Wednesday Addams, YN LN.”

You sigh loudly and make your way over to sit next to Wednesday, still avoiding her eye at all costs.

Most of the lesson is spent in silence, both of you lost stirring in your thoughts.

Then, “Why have you been avoiding me?” Wednesday says, hurried, like she couldn’t help it from slipping.

You sigh, for what feels like the millionth time that day, and manage a quiet, “I haven’t been avoiding you Wednesday.”

It comes out so weak, you wouldn’t have even believed yourself.

“Yes you have. I want to know the reason, have I done something wrong? Maybe I said something to hurt your….feelings?” She pauses before the last word, tone turning uncertain.

You frown.

“No of course not Wednesday, I just…” You trail off.

You turn to Wednesday, determined to give the performance of a lifetime, but forget that your face still looks like a bruised peach, and you definitely shouldn’t look her in the face.

You let out a final sigh and pull the head of your hoodie down, feeling small under Wednesdays stare.

Her eyes widen a little at the sight of you, and worry fills them. You can’t help but feel a tinge of happiness at how much she seems to care, letting the emotionless mask slip for a second.

She stands up suddenly, startling you and the 20 other people in the room.

“Ms. Thornhill, may YN and I please be excused?”

Wednesday doesn’t wait for Ms.Thornhill to answer before taking you by the wrist and dragging you out.

She doesn’t say a word until she gets to her dorm, quickly opening the door and throwing you in.

“Wednesday?” You squeak.

She turns and reaches out to touch your face, thumb rubbing just the slightest on your bruises.

A gentleness she didn’t know she possessed took over, still moving her hand in small circles all over your face.

“Who did this to you?” She murmurs, and her voice is filled with such intense worry it makes you want to break down.

Your head falls down on instinct, staring at your shoes like they’re the most interesting piece of art in the world.

Wednesday grips your chin and tilts your face back up, inches away from you.

Then she’s placing her hands on your waist, hands rigid, like she’s nervous.

You look so vulnerable, and she might’ve even say sort of adorable, she can’t help but lean forward and press a kiss to your cheek, on top of the scar.

Your breath hitches in your throat, body stiff.

She continues giving you little pecks all around the bruises, and you relax in her arms.

After a while, she pulls away, and you grab at her on instinct. She lets you, body pressing up to yours once again.

“You never answered my question.” She says.

“Xavier. He said something bad about you, but it doesn’t matter now. This is much better.” You mumble as you dig your face in her uniform.

She tenses up at this.

“He’s going to die a slow, painful death. And not the satisfying kind.” She decides, hand wrapping around your waist protectively.

You hum, “Who cares? I just wanna stay like this.”

The two of you don’t say much after that, content in simply being in each other’s presence.

When you get to class the next day, you bite back a smirk when you see Xavier’s positively beaten up face.

You walk over to him, acting all nonchalant.

“Yeah dude. She’s soooo into you.”

A/N: I kinda really enjoyed writing that, ty anon! Wednesday’s such a sweet softie on the inside.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday #wednesday addams x you #jenna ortega x reader #tara carpenter x reader

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winterrrnight · 1 year ago

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hellraiser (part I)

PAIRING: drew starkey x co-star!actress!reader

SUMMARY: an instagram blurb about drew and his co-star y/n and dating allegations

FACE CLAIM: Emma Myers

WARNINGS: pictures with blood, nothing else

EDITH SPEAKS: i never intended to break it down in parts but it just happened and now you all have to wait for the second part xx

A little disclaimer: i WONT be bringing Odessa into this, it's not that I hate her or anything, it's solely because for this fic the main actors are drew and y/n and I don't want to do that silly love triangle, jealousy thingy with the three of them or whatever, so there's no Odessa in this fic. (again: I don't hate her!!)

I made up all the instagram users, so if by any chance I have your instagram user used here, I'm so sorry I promise it was a total coincidence!

if you enjoyed reading this please please reblog and feedback is always appreciated!! 🦉

part II is out now! Read here

navigation || join my taglist || requests

liked by yourinstagram, jennaortega and 2,384,482 others

drewstarkey we bloodied up real good

tagged: yourinstagram

yourinstagram yes, yes we did 😈

-> drewstarkey 😈

drewfan87 I'm so excited for the movie what

ynisamazing serving even when you're both covered in blood

lilalovesdrew the blood makes y'all look hotter

liked by ynvibez, ynfan21 and 56,483 others

yn_updates y/n via ig stories!

tagged: yourinstagram

rafe_is_hot yes y/n I'll make sure of this next time it rains blood x

-> user45 LMAOO

-> ynfan53 yeah we all need to x

ynvibez ngl this is kinda scary

liked by user41, ynfan21 and 89,282 others

drewstarkeyupdates some behind the scenes pictures from the set of hellraiser!

tagged: drewstarkey, yourinstagram

drewfan87 okay WOW

iloveyn IM SO EXCITED SHUT UP

user76 slayed

drewluvbot they are playing lovers, right?

-> ynhive yes!

liked by yourinstagram, ynvibez and 1,483,583 others

cosmoindonesia "Oh I've had the absolute best time shooting with Drew! He's extremely talented and I sometimes feel his acting isn't appreciated as much. He's so down to earth and is the best listener one can be!" y/n on acting with Drew Starkey, starring in a horror/thriller movie for the first time, and some of her favorite foods in Indonesia! Check out her recent interview from the link in our bio ✨

tagged: yourinstagram

yourinstagram thank you for having me! 🪐

-> cosmoindonesia we loved you 🤍✨

ynisamazing she's everything tbh

rafeluvbot I miss her sm

user34 sooo gorg

liked by drewsify, rafe_starkey and 67,382 others

drewstarkeyupdates drew spotted for dinner with friends!

tagged: drewstarkey

rafe_is_hot is that y/n?

-> ynhive it does look like her!

theobx omg it looks like y/n was there too

user81 yeah okay who was stalking them lmao 💀

-> maybankluvbot WELP 💀

liked by ajheartsyn, user12 and 89,480 others

ynupdates y/n and drew together on one of their friend's stories! (now deleted)

tagged: yourinstagram, drewstarkey

user39 these are definitely from the same night as the dinner night

-> lilalovesdrew RIGHT it's the same outfits

drew_clouds DELETED???

iloveyn omg are they together??

-> rafeyyy what if. . .

-> rafezcameron okay but if they are they're gonna be so cute I swear

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @tahliac11 @sadfury

(If you want to be added, check out the 'join my taglist' post on top! + send in requests if you have any, but please read the 'requests' post first!)

#drew starkey #drew starkey oneshot #drew starkey fanfiction #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey fic #drew starkey fluff #drew starkey one shot #drew starkey instagram au #instagram blurb #instagram au #instagram feed #fake instagram #emma myers #hellraiser #written by edith! 🪄

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venerawrites · 8 months ago

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So we all love Gaara huh

IM DEAD HUNGRY FOR JEALOUS GAARA HDCANONS AAAAAAA

I read ur shino one it was scrumptious ☹️💕

author's note: omg, I have been waiting to write something about jealous! Gaara 😫 thank you so much for requesting! I hope you like it! <3

This may be a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I believe Gaara is a very jealous individual, to the point it is even a little bit toxic. Well, at least at the beginning of your relationship...

hear me out tho!

Gaara has never been in a relationship before, so everything is completely new to him… including the feeling of jealousy.

Despite being a changed man, he is still very self-conscious about his past. He often questions himself and wonders if you think less of him because of the things he has done.

In the beginning of your relationship he has a tendency to be paranoid that you’re going to find someone else or that you don’t view your relationship as seriously as he did.

If he sees any male even talking to you, a feeling of uneasiness would wash over him.

What are you talking about? Why are you smiling at them? Are they flirting with you? Why are you not stepping away from them?

All these questions would torture his mind, but he would not voice them out loud. He doesn’t want to scare you or push you away, so I imagine he will suffer in silence.

Boy thinks he is good at hiding his emotions, but would totally be passive-aggressive during the mission brief with that one male who talked with you earlier that day.

A lot of tongue-clicking, eye-rolling, and critiquing, to the point that even Kankuro would pick up something is wrong.

In my mind, he is a guy who would get jealous of your previous relationship (assuming that you had a partner before him).

Because everything is so new and exciting to him, he can’t help but get irritated by the idea that someone else has touched your body before him and has shared late-night kisses with you.

If you mention your ex for any reason, he would either let out a scoff or quickly change the subject.

If your ex is your teammate for example, he would totally abuse his position as a Kazekage to change your teams or send you on separate missions.

Overall, he can be a little bit childish and immature, but he will grow and change as your relationship progresses.

With lots of patience, love gestures, and words of assurance (maybe a little bit of scolding too) you would ease his worries and with time he would understand how silly he was behaving.

cc artwork: concept art for "Assassin's Creed: Origins"

#naruto imagines #gaara x reader #gaara imagine #gaara headcanons #gaara of the sand

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notallrobots · 2 months ago

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i couldn’t stop thinking about toxic starnerve after watching that scrapped storyboard… the one where fear tries to FUCKING MURDER joy. omg.

i’m not super happy with my art at the moment (just want to improve my interpretations of the characters , you know how it be). but i really wanted to make an song / plot analysis of this storyline, using the song New Magic Wand by Tyler the Creator.

song analysis / au explanation (is it an au, if this is how Inside Out was originally going to go? 😳 ) below ⬇️

song lyrics in bold, plot connection in italics. :3

Sometimes you gotta close a door to open a window

Fear feels as though Headquarters would be better off without Joy’s strong-arming. The other emotions agree with him to a degree, but are highly against his plot to kick Joy out of Headquarters forever. So he develops an evil plot in secret.

I saw a photo, you looked joyous

My eyes are green, I eat my veggies

Fear is highly jealous of Joy’s strong, loving connection with Riley, both from a parental standpoint (He feels as though he cannot influence Riley positively with Joy in the way), and a possessive one (Fear harbors romantic feelings for Joy but cannot properly express them. He feels as though bringing these feelings out into the open would jeapordize Riley’s well-being. So his surpressed affections and attraction to Joy manifest as resentment, bossiness, envy, and, at a certain point, rage).

I need to get her out the picture She's really fuckin' up my frame

Fear is angry that Joy tries to take such extreme control of Riley’s emotions, bitter that he may not ever have the relationship that he wants with Joy, and his jealousy influences his ability to properly do his job. He starts growing more erratic, crass, and temperamental. The other emotions begin to take notice.

She's not developed like we are

Fear tries to convince the other emotions that Joy is a liability in Headquarters, because she cannot stop herself from taking total control of the console most of the time. The others agree (especially Anger, who craves justice and feels as though Joy’s control is teeming on the edge of dictatorship), but only to a certain point.

Like magic, like magic, like magic, gone New magic, new magic, new magic wand

Fear starts to drive himself crazy with the idea of expelling Joy from Headquarters.

My brother said I'm on the spectrum Don't call me selfish, I hate sharin' This 60/40 isn't working I want 100 of your time, you're mine

The other emotions are disturbed by this conflict, even though much of it manifests through passive aggression on Fear’s part, at least in the beginning. Fear desires more influence of both Riley and Joy. And he wants Joy to himself.

Please don't leave me now Please don't leave me now (don't leave)

Ayo, take one look in the mirror, implications so clear I live life with no fear, except for the idea that one day you won't be here

Fear is very conflicted about what to do. What he wants.

I will not fetch the ball, eyes are green I eat my vegetables It has nothing to do with that broad, but if it did, guarantee she'd be gone, well

The other emotions strongly suspect that Fear is starting to experience highly dangerous inner turmoil. They don’t know what to do.

The only one who doesn’t notice is Joy.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK>?!??!

#inside out 2 #inside out fear #inside out joy #starnerve #inside out au

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moonpetrichors-blog · 2 years ago

Note

you're currently carrying 'avatar x reader' with your absolutely amazing works, so i have another request for you, love, if that's alright <33

no idea how to properly start this, but basically neteyam and y/n are a thing- and even though y/n is like super grateful for his protection, lately she's been feeling just like another of his many responsibilities, not a partner. so they grow a bit distant, to that point where even his family notices, and when they try to talk it out they get into an argument. pretty much angst (because i love it👹👹👹) !!!!!!!!!!!!! and it's totally up to you if it ends with fluff or angst. oh and i thought maybe it could take place when they arrive to the metkayina clan, because it would mean y/n left everything behind just for neteyam (and his amazing family ofc🤞🤞🤞), but the way he begun to treat her, makes her think she might regret that decision= more aNGST‼️‼️but that's up to you- whatever you're more comfortable with :)) okay, byeee!!! have a nice day!!!

(i'm @introvert-pansexual btw😧)

Not A Responsibility

Tags: Neteyam x Omaticaya!Reader, Oneshot, Fem!Reader, Angst, Fluff At The End (Not Really)

Warnings: Tiny Bit Toxic, Mentioned Jealousy

Ever since you left the Omaticaya clan for your boyfriend, you’ve felt suffocated by his overprotective nature. You’re his partner, not just another one of his responsibilities or trouble-seeking siblings. And it hurts, knowing that he treats you like you are less his mate than burden. You think you might regret leaving your home for him.

UR SO NICE OMG😭😭❤️❤️ I love every request I get HSJQISIWJ some days my brain is just poop cause i cant think up ideas so these are nice to get ☠️☠️ also yuh I kinda inferred that u switched accs bc i stalk my followers LMAOAOAO anywayss this deffo isnt my best work but ive been kinda tired lately so like sorry if its not that great 😭😭

* ˚ ✦ 1096 Words • Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [08/01/23] ❞

You and Neteyam have been dating. For a long time, actually.

You grew up together, and the tight friendship you built inevitably developed into feelings of attraction. You were anticipated to be mated to one another, and the Sully family cherished you.

Jake used to torment his son before you began dating. He'd make remarks about how you two reminded him of him and Neytiri, and how Neteyam had to entice you with the superb wooing genes he inherited from him. Neytiri would slap him on the back of the head and order him to be quiet. However, she couldn't argue with Jake's teasing. A lovely girl like yourself resembled a second daughter to her; if her son didn't put a ring on it, she would drag him by the ear.

You felt your throat constrict and your eyes burn with tears the day Neteyam informed you Jake was forcing his family to pick up and move. How were you supposed to just carry on and forget about your relationship?

You couldn't. As a result, you left with him. You would fly for a thousand days on an Ikran, cross vast oceans, and abandon your home a million times more for Neteyam and his family. Neteyam considered himself extremely fortunate to have you.

However, after finally settling in with the Metkayina, you began to sense a twinge of foreboding. You felt homesick, and you knew that relocating to a whole new clan would be difficult. Neteyam appeared to be taking it the hardest though, so you did not want to complain.

You noted how his shoulders tensed more frequently, or how he wore a faint grimace when alone. You were outsiders in this place, and they treated you as such. Neteyam couldn't help but be uptight whenever the olo'eyktan's son harassed his siblings, but he lost his composure when he sought to bother you.

Or, more accurately, flirted with you. Neteyam had a reputation for being a jealous boyfriend. You and his family were fully cognizant of this, but to the casual onlooker, he always appeared calm and collected. When Aonung penetrated your personal space, you recognized how Neteyam would surreptitiously linger nearby, or extended an arm around you. It drove him insane.

When he first started acting that way, you would coo at him and envelop him in your embrace while calling him sweet. You believed his protectiveness over you was adorable, and it was flattering to say the least. Neteyam, on the other hand, had nothing to be concerned about. You were solely interested in him.

...

Regardless of your unconditional affection, it seemed that the more Neteyam stayed in the Awa'atlu village, the more awful he grew.

Irrespective of Aonung's unwanted attention (which had long since faded), nothing made Neteyam happy anymore. When you tried to kiss him, he would either accept it reluctantly or brush you away. If you wished to spend time with him, he would acquiesce, but would eventually talk about his siblings or babysit. Nonetheless, he would be fiercely protective of where you went or what you did.

You couldn't condemn Neteyam for being nervous and tense all the time, but it seemed that no matter what difficulties you were encountering in your relationship, he began to treat you as if you were just another one of his trouble-making siblings. Another chore added to his long list of responsibilities.

Neteyam’s protection used to be charming, but it was now just smothering. It seemed like you were so distant from your boyfriend, yet also so close to him. You began feeling less like his partner, yet it also caused you to feel guilty when you were emotional in front of him. You knew you had no right to complain because you left the Omaticaya clan by your own volition. How could you grumble about it when your lover was enduring greater struggles?

This was a recipe for disaster.

...

You no longer felt comfortable communicating your concerns to your boyfriend. Each time you sought to bring up your reservations about how Neteyam was treating you, he was too preoccupied with his own life to give much heed to your conversation or relationship.

You eventually gave up on your efforts to work it out. If he were to behave distant from you, you would respond with the same energy. You two gradually drifted away, the gulf between you expanding by the day. Neteyam's family became quite alarmed when they noticed how seldom you two were interacting nowadays.

Jake and Neytiri encouraged Neteyam to try to spend some quality time with you again, and that he could set his other obligations aside. They'd maintain a close eye on their other children so Neteyam wouldn't have to fret about them.

He agreed begrudgingly, unable to say no to his parents. You were thrilled when he sought you out for a casual date, the first in a long time. There was a nagging whisper in the rear of your mind that gnawed at you, warning you he just wasn't the same, but you dismissed it. He'd come to find you, hadn't he?

...

You were deflated throughout the duration of your date. The longer time passed, the more you could feel the ominous mood rattling deep in your bones. During your time together, all Neteyam could think about was how much this move had stressed him out, and now he had to be concerned about paying you attention as well. It was apparent from his expression that he was not enjoying himself.

You couldn’t take it anymore.

You snapped at his indifferent attitude. “Can you stop zoning out and actually listen to me for once?”

If Neteyam was trying to fake a smile before, he definitely wasn’t anymore. “What do you mean? This whole entire date I’ve been only listening to you!”

You scoffed at this. His mind was in a whole other place for the entire duration of it. “You never have time for me anymore, and when you do, you act like I’m some burden on your to do list!”

Neteyam felt his blood go hot. Before he could stop himself, he began to yell. “It’s not my fault I can’t give you attention all the time! My parent’s are always putting pressure on me to make sure everyone’s looked after and well behaved, including you!”

Then, his voice dropped to a cruel whisper. “Do you think I wanted to go on this date?”

That was the juncture at which you felt so enraged that you couldn't prevent the tears from cascading down your flaming cheeks. Neteyam's countenance didn't alter in response to your outburst, which only served to make you angrier.

You practically screamed at him. “You’re such a dickhead! You’ve changed, Neteyam.” You began sobbing.

“The only reason I’m mad isn’t because you don’t give me enough attention, it’s because every time we’re together you completely neglect my feelings! You make everything about you!”

He remained still as you wiped your angry tears away, then jutted a finger against his chest. “For someone who acts like they’re always looking after everyone else, you’re so incredibly selfish with me.”

In the face of your harsh comments, Neteyam remained silent and unmoving. He was speechless; he didn't know what to say. The rage was still coursing through his veins, but all he could do was hearken to your never-ending shouts.

Your voice dropped an octave, and you glared into his eyes which you once looked so fondly into. “I’m not another responsibility of yours. I regret ever following you here. If I knew you’d turn out like this, I would’ve saved myself the heartache and found a new partner instead of leaving everything behind for someone that won’t even give me the time of day. You could at least try to act happy to be around me.”

That made his heart break, and he could feel the tears beginning to gather in his eyes too. He couldn’t believe you would have ever found it in you to say that to him. “Fine, do what you want. I tried to spend time with you, and you turned it into an argument.”

He pivoted on his heel, and stormed away from you on the threshold of tears. When he was far enough away, he let the tears flow.

Your voice carried from halfway across the beach. “Fine then, if you want me so bad, I guess I’ll go!”

You, too, turned your back on him and dashed away to find somewhere to cry privately. You felt like such a child.

...

It was growing dark, and eclipse was approaching.

You still hadn’t returned to the marui you shared with the Sully family, and Jake was beginning to get worried. “Where’s Y/N?”

That question was obviously directed towards Neteyam, but he remained sulking instead of replying.

Neytiri’s patience was thinning with her son’s out of character behavior. “That girl doesn’t know her way around the Awa’atlu village. She could be lost!”

Jake rubbed the bridge of his nose, glancing at the sky. He shared Neytiri’s sentiment, as his son still wasn’t talking. What the hell happened on your date?

Although Neteyam appeared furious, he was actually feeling quite guilty. Your reality check tugged at his heartstrings, and now you could be injured, or worse, lost, because he told you to be. He sprung from his seat and raced out the marui, unable to sit still any longer.

Jake's shouts for his son to return at that instant went unfulfilled. Even if Neteyam was angry with you, he was still afraid that something awful would happen, and he'd never forgive himself if it did.

Neteyam called your name as he ran throughout the village. However, no matter how much terrain he covered, or how many times he bellowed your name into the frigid night air, your voice did not respond. He was sweating nervously now, terrified about not being able to locate you. What if he never found you?

Those fears, however, were quickly dispelled into the wind whipping behind him as he hurried towards the sound of sniffling behind a nearby tree. Neteyam scratched the back of his neck, unsure what to do. As he drew near to your weeping figure, he stepped on and snapped a twig, capturing your attention.

You spun around to investigate the source of the noise, only to discover that it was your idiot boyfriend. Neteyam urged you to relax, then sighed and settled besides you.

Before you could protest against him taking a seat next to you, he hugged you tightly and apologized.

“I’m sorry. I’m the way I am right now because I don’t want anything bad happening to you, or my siblings. I can’t imagine ever losing you.”

You let your rage disappear, leaning into his embrace as he continued to talk.

“I know I’ve been a real idiot lately, and I’ll try to show up more in our relationship. My personal problems aren’t your fault.”

Your prior resentment faded as he brushed your tears away with his thumb, and you buried your face in his chest, allowing your arms to wrap around his midriff.

“I’m sorry for saying I wished I stayed behind and found someone new. That was a lie, I’d never be able to move on.”

Neteyam felt his chest tighten at your words, and merely hugged you tighter. “I’ll never hurt you again.”

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mariahcarreyyy · 10 months ago

Note

OH YOU DID DO MY ASK JUSTICE, MORE THAN 🥹

If you were to make this a series, I come bearing the following suggestions;

How did they get into a throuple? Reader being a major flirt with both Lando and Oscar. Oscar gets fed up with it, so he fucks her to work his jealousy off, but Lando walks in. Instead of being hurt… Lando starts jerking off. ORRRR

Reader and Oscar are together, and Lando gets pouty about not being included in things anymore. Then Oscar’s like- you know what, fine. (Could also be Landoscar, or Lando x Reader at first)

Fluffy aftercare blurb/segment

A fic in which Lando and reader are all buddy buddy with Carlos bc they’re friends with him and Oscar is Not Happy™️. They are punished accordingly. Lines that come to mind; “I’ll fuck you so good that you can’t even think about anyone else”, “You brats really like to get me riled up”, “We weren’t doing anything wrong!”, “Say you’re mine or else you don’t get to cum for a month”

Lando and Reader planning an extra slutty surprise for Oscar’s birthday

BUT OFC ONLY IF YOU WANT TO DO ANY OF THEM sksksksk I have been fed by the fic it’s really the best thing I’ve read this year so far you are so talented ok. I am obsessed. A literal goddess.

Ok that’s it I’ll stop rambling now

OMG THESE IDEAS ARE INCREDIBLE CAIT WAS NOT LYING😰😰😰😰 thank you for em bby will def be using them YOU are the goddess🙏🩷🩷

the first one...lando getting caught fucking himself into the circle of his fingers after he lets out a particularly loud groan from behind the extremely thin drivers room...then oscar telling him to join🙈🙈🙈 damn i just got chills

i can totally imagine oscar being so nonchalant about suggesting lando join him and readers relationship

"its like you guys dont love me anymore," lando whines when you and oscar cancel on another plan to do some weird shit like bowling together instead. "Why don't you just join us, then," oscar suggests, scrolling lazily on his phone. Lando smiles and moves to grab his bowling shoes, "Oh, okay." "No, as in a couple." Its nearly comical when both you and lando shriek, surprised but not at all disgusted by the idea, "WHAT?!"

The lines for the jealous!oscar thingy with lando and you😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 will 100% be doing that thank yewwwww!! reader and lando are so oblivious of oscars jealousy, bless them-- they'd be so confused at how oscar's normal grumpyness morphed into a real grumpyness.

They keep asking him whats wrong but he just waves them off until they get back home and he shoves both of you on the bed, ripping off his shirt while incoherently cursing carlos under his breath.

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cloudyyoimiya · 2 years ago

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hello cloudd. may i req any bsd character (i’d love to see doa though ahah i love them) get jealous over their s/o hanging out more with another bsd character, but they ‘can’t’ do anything because it’s a co-worker of theirs? i hope it makes sense.. totally isn’t an ask for yandere hcs

omg i’m so happy to see you in my inbox krei! anyways yes that made sense don’t worry! also i hope you dont mind that i actually did the main three of the doa! they all make me giggle and kick my feet

Their Darling Hangs Out With Their Coworker; Sigma, Nikolai Gogol, and Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Format: Headcanons

Possible warnings: Yandere/dark content, unhealthy relationships, jealousy, manipulation.

Sigma

Simply put, Sigma gets jealous very easily. You’re the meaning to his life, the candle that led him out of the dark. So when you started your friendship with Nikolai, Sigma was distressed.

He had no clue what to do with himself. Sigma cares about your happiness, so he wouldn’t try to do anything too rash, but he’d still want to distance you from him.

Sigma knows that Nikolai is a very unstable individual, so he was absolutely terrified of leaving you alone with him. If you and Nikolai happened to be in the casino, Sigma would constantly be watching you via security cameras. He wanted to make sure that the jester didn’t do anything… unsavory towards you.

It irritated Sigma that he couldn’t just get rid of Nikolai.

Nikolai was his coworker after all.

If he even laid a hand on him, Fyodor would know and he’d be severely punished.

It made Sigma want to rip his hair out.

It made him feel sick.

He absolutely hated it.

If he ever caught you getting put in danger, Sigma would immediately take you back from Nikolai and lock you up for a few weeks. He’d then lecture you about how terrible Nikolai is and how he’d hurt you in a snap.

Sigma might also feed you some lies about Nikolai. He knows everything about you; your likes and dislikes. He’d use that to his advantage and tell you how Nikolai did all of the things you don’t like with a serious expression.

Of course you believed him because he’d never lie to you, right?

He’d then try to guilt you into staying away from Nikolai for good measure. You wouldn’t want to upset your boyfriend and future spouse, would you? You don’t want to leave him, right?

In all honesty, he would be the best out of the three.

Nikolai Gogol

Let’s say for Nikolai you befriended Fyodor. The two of you would sometimes sit in his office and just talk, or sometimes he’d bring you out for some tea. Fyodor’s intent wasn’t anything romantic, he just thought that your views of the world were so.. interesting.

Being the good friend you are, you always joined him whenever he asked you to hang out.

Nikolai was absolutely stuck on what to do. He didn’t approve of your friendship with Fyodor one bit, but he was happy to see you getting along with someone he admired.

His conflicting feelings made him want to kill the rat. He absolutely hated feeling chained down his emotions like this.

It left such a bitter taste in his mouth.

He’d do anything to make it stop.

One time he actually did come close to killing Fyodor.

You were out at a bookstore and Fyodor had joined you. Nikolai would have stayed in the shadows, silently watching the two of you. Eventually Fyodor had put his hand on your back, and apparently that was the final straw for the jester.

It took everything in him to not take you away right then and there.

Eventually when you and Fyodor parted ways, Nikolai magically appeared beside you with an unreadable expression. You had asked him what was wrong but he only grabbed your wrist with an iron grip.

He brought you back to your shared apartment and locked you in your room until Nikolai sorted out his emotions.

Nikolai is a sadistic yandere, yes, but he wouldn’t be sadistic towards you without any reason; or being caught up in his emotions for that matter.

What it all comes down to is that he still loves his darling despite how they made him feel some wretched emotion besides love.

He’d eventually calm down and trap you in your apartment until you can ‘behave yourself.’

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

For Fyodor let’s say that you befriended Sigma. You originally approached him since he seemed lonely and needed some time off from work, but over time your friendship with him grew. Fyodor only watched as this happened on the side lines.

Surely you weren’t stupid enough to talk to another man while you had him, right?

Well, he was wrong; though he slightly expected this from you. You always cared about other people, even if they didn’t care about you.

Normally if something like this was to happen with anyone else, he’d kill off your friend immediately. But since Sigma is one of his coworkers and is vital to his plan, he’s unable to take care of him.

That fact slightly infuriates him, but he’d never let it show. He’d let it boil under the surface until he eventually confronts you.

Fyodor reached his breaking point when Sigma was fast asleep in his office and you put your jacket over his back so he wouldn’t get cold.

You’re only supposed to be doing those type of things with Fyodor.

It made him almost want to kill you along with Sigma.

Oh so gradually Fyodor would start feeding lies to Sigma about how you’re only using him, and in return he’d tell you lies about Sigma, saying that he’s an awful person that only wishes to see you fail.

Fyodor’s lies made the two of you extremely angry at each other, and eventually the two of you would stop talking.

Fyodor would let you cry to him with open arms. He’d be there to comfort you and tell you that everything is all right.

He’d be there to tell you that other people only wish to hurt you.

Locking you away wouldn’t be his solution for this issue, but if something similar happens again in the future, he may consider it. He won’t be so nice next time.

Fyodor would be the worst to have out of the three in terms of mentality. Let’s just hope that you don’t break easily.

this was my first yandere ask on this acc! i hope you liked it <3

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muiitoloko · 4 months ago

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Awhhh omg i love difficult woman !! You should totally have her play the piano and him hear her!!

Title: A Risky Alliance

Summary: Karl's desperate longing for his wife's love is met with her resolute desire for freedom, leading to a secret plan with Elisabeth to escape the suffocating marriage.

Pairing: Karl Hoffmeister × Fem! Reader

Warnings: Jealousy

Author's Notes: Thanks for the idea. I hope you like this.

First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh and Eighth part here.

Also read on Ao3

Later that night, the grand dining room was filled with the warm glow of candlelight, casting flickering shadows on the opulent decor. The servants moved quietly, serving the meal with practiced grace. Johann and Karl sat at one end of the long table, engaged in animated conversation about business and the state of the world, their voices blending with the soft clinking of cutlery and murmurs of conversation.

You sat at the opposite end, your gaze focused on your plate as you ate in silence. The weight of the day's events pressed heavily on you, the tension between you and Karl a constant undercurrent. You avoided looking at him, your mind preoccupied with thoughts of escape and freedom from this suffocating marriage.

Elisabeth, seated beside Karl, couldn't help but notice the way his eyes kept drifting toward you. Even while he spoke with Johann, his attention was divided, his gaze frequently returning to you with a mixture of longing and frustration. Elisabeth's chest tightened with jealousy, her grip on her wine glass tightening until her knuckles turned white.

Why couldn't Karl look at her like that? Why did his eyes linger on you, filled with an intensity that made Elisabeth's heart ache with envy? She took a sip of her wine, her eyes narrowing as she watched you. You seemed oblivious to Karl's attention, your focus remaining steadfastly on your meal.

Karl, unaware of Elisabeth's growing resentment, continued to steal glances at you. Each time he looked, his longing deepened. He admired the way the candlelight danced on your skin, the soft curves of your face, and the way your eyes, even when distant, seemed to hold a world of mystery. He imagined what it would be like to break through your walls, to see you smile genuinely at him, to feel your touch.

As he took another sip of his wine, his thoughts turned darker, more possessive. He wanted to claim you, to make you his in every sense of the word. The distance you maintained only fueled his desire, making him yearn for the day when you would look at him with the same passion he felt for you.

Elisabeth's jealousy reached a boiling point. She watched Karl's every move, noting the way his fingers tightened around his wine glass, the subtle clench of his jaw as he stared at you. She hated the way he looked at you, with a desire that should have been directed at her. Why couldn't he see that she was the one who truly loved him, who would do anything to make him happy?

As the dinner conversation continued, the tension in the room became more palpable. You quietly wiped your mouth with your napkin, deciding that you'd had enough of the strained atmosphere. Rising from your seat, you excused yourself politely, intending to retreat to the sanctuary of your room.

"Karl, I'm tired. I'm going to bed," you announced, your tone firm yet polite.

Karl's eyes, glazed slightly from the wine, snapped to you. His face contorted with a mix of desperation and frustration. "Stay a little longer," he urged, his voice slightly slurred. "We barely spend time together as it is."

You sighed inwardly, knowing that his current state would only make the situation worse. "Karl, it's late. I really should rest."

Karl rose unsteadily from his chair, almost knocking over his wine glass. "Please," he pleaded, reaching out to grab your arm, his grip a bit too firm. "I just want to talk, to be with you."

You could feel the eyes of Johann and Elisabeth on you, their expressions a mix of curiosity and concern. Johann, not unlike his cousin, was clearly amused by the unfolding drama, chuckling softly into his glass.

"Karl, let her go," Johann finally said, his tone light but carrying an undercurrent of mockery. "She doesn't want to be here."

Hans, the butler, sensing the escalating tension, stepped forward cautiously. "Herr Hoffmeister," he said softly, "perhaps it is time to retire for the evening."

Karl shook off Hans's hand, his face flushing with anger and embarrassment. "I don't need a nursemaid, Hans," he snapped, his voice growing louder. "I am perfectly capable of deciding when to go to bed."

You glanced at Hans, offering him a grateful smile before turning back to Karl. "Please, Karl. Let's not make a scene."

But Karl, his judgment clouded by the alcohol, refused to relent. "A scene?" he barked, his grip on your arm tightening. "I just want my wife to spend some time with me. Is that too much to ask?"

Elisabeth watched the exchange with a mixture of satisfaction and jealousy, her eyes flicking between you and Karl. She seemed to revel in your discomfort, enjoying the spectacle of your husband's drunken desperation.

"Karl, you're embarrassing yourself," you said quietly, your voice laced with a mixture of pity and frustration. "Please, let me go."

Johann's laughter grew louder, his amusement evident. "Cousin, listen to her. You're making a fool of yourself."

Karl's face turned a deeper shade of red, his anger now directed at Johann. "Shut up, Johann," he growled. "This is between my wife and me."

You pulled your arm free from Karl's grip, stepping back to put some distance between you. "I'm going to bed," you repeated firmly. "Good night."

Karl reached out again, his eyes pleading. "Please, don't leave me alone."

You shook your head, your heart aching with a mixture of pity and frustration. "Karl, you're drunk. We'll talk in the morning."

As you turned to leave, Karl stumbled forward, his balance unsteady. "You're my wife," he called after you, his voice breaking. "You belong to me."

Hans quickly moved to support Karl, his expression one of resigned patience. "Herr Hoffmeister, it is time to rest," he said gently, guiding Karl towards the door.

Karl protested weakly, his protests growing softer as Hans led him away. "I just want her to love me," he muttered, his voice heavy with despair.

Johann watched the scene unfold with a smirk, raising his glass in a mock toast. "To love," he said sarcastically, downing the last of his wine.

You sighed, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over you. The drunken behavior of your husband and his cousin had only served to deepen the chasm between you. You retreated to your room, hoping that the night would bring some respite from the turmoil of your life.

As you climbed the stairs, you noticed Hans struggling to support Karl, who was stumbling and swaying, his intoxicated state making it difficult for him to walk. Sighing, you felt a pang of sympathy for Hans. Despite your frustrations with Karl, you couldn't ignore the toll his behavior was taking on the loyal butler.

"Hans, it's alright," you said softly, moving to take Karl's other arm. "I'll take him from here."

Hans looked relieved, nodding gratefully as he stepped back. "Thank you, madame," he said, his voice filled with gratitude.

Karl's gaze shifted to you, his eyes glassy but filled with a strange mix of desperation and affection. "You came back," he slurred, a drunken smile tugging at his lips. "I knew you couldn't resist me."

Ignoring his words, you focused on guiding him up the stairs. Karl seemed more willing to obey you, leaning heavily against you as you made your way to the bedroom. His arm draped over your shoulders, and you could feel the weight of his body pressing against you, his breath warm and heavy with the scent of alcohol.

As you reached the bedroom door, Karl stumbled again, nearly losing his balance. You tightened your grip, steadying him. "Easy now," you murmured, pushing the door open and leading him inside.

Karl's eyes roved over you, filled with a drunken haze of admiration. "You're so beautiful," he mumbled, bending down to inhale the scent of your hair. "I love the way you smell."

You suppressed a shudder, focusing on getting him to the bed. "Let's get you to bed, Karl," you said firmly, ignoring his compliments.

With some effort, you managed to guide him to the bed, helping him sit down. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of longing and sadness. "Please, don't leave me," he pleaded, his voice trembling. "I can't bear to be without you."

You sighed deeply, exhaustion and frustration evident in your eyes. "Karl, I need to go to my own bedroom to rest," you said firmly, trying to pull away from his grasp.

Karl's eyes darkened with desperation. "No," he replied, his voice unsteady. "You should sleep next to me, as all wives do for their husbands."

You shook your head, determination hardening your features. "I can't, Karl. I won't."

As you turned to leave, Karl held your hand more tightly, his grip surprisingly strong despite his intoxicated state. "Wait," he implored, his voice softening. "Can I show you something before you go?"

You hesitated, torn between the desire to retreat and the flicker of pity you felt for him. Sighing, you decided to give him a chance. "Alright, Karl," you said quietly. "Show me what you want."

Karl's eyes lit up with a mixture of relief and gratitude. He staggered to the wardrobe, his movements clumsy and uncoordinated. You watched him with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension as he rummaged through a drawer, finally pulling out a sketchbook.

He returned to the bed, sitting next to you with the sketchbook in hand. "I've been working on these," he said, his voice filled with a mix of pride and vulnerability. "I wanted to show you."

You took the sketchbook from him, your fingers brushing against his as you opened it. The first page revealed a delicate drawing of flowers, the intricate details capturing the beauty of each petal and leaf. You turned the pages slowly, each one filled with stunning landscapes, serene and tranquil.

"They're beautiful, Karl," you admitted, genuinely impressed by his talent. "I didn't know you could draw like this."

Karl's eyes softened, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Thank you," he said quietly. "It's something I enjoy doing in my spare time."

You continued to flip through the pages, admiring each drawing. As you reached the middle of the sketchbook, you froze, your breath catching in your throat. The drawings were of you. Each one captured different moments—sitting by the window, reading in the library, walking through the garden. The details were exquisite, the likeness unmistakable.

Karl watched your reaction, his expression unreadable. "I've been drawing you for a while now," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to capture your beauty, your essence."

You closed the sketchbook, your emotions a whirlwind of confusion and surprise. "Why didn't you show me these before?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

Karl's gaze dropped to his hands, his fingers tracing the edge of the sketchbook. "I was afraid," he confessed. "Afraid of how you might react. Afraid you wouldn't understand."

You sat in silence, the weight of his words hanging between you. The drawings were a window into Karl's soul, revealing a side of him you hadn't seen before. A side that was tender, vulnerable, and deeply in love with you.

"I see," you said softly, handing the sketchbook back to him. "Thank you for showing me."

Karl looked up, his eyes filled with a mix of hope and uncertainty. "Does this mean you'll stay?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

You shook your head slowly. "No, Karl," you replied gently. "But it does mean that I understand you a little better now."

Karl's shoulders sagged with disappointment, but he nodded, accepting your decision. "I appreciate that," he said quietly. "More than you know."

You stood up, taking a step back. "Goodnight, Karl," you said, your voice soft but firm.

"Goodnight," Karl echoed, watching as you walked to the door.

As you closed the door behind you, the image of the drawings lingered in your mind. You couldn't deny the skill and emotion that Karl had poured into each one. Despite the complexity of your relationship, the drawings revealed a side of Karl that you couldn't ignore.

In your own bedroom, you lay in bed, Mouse curled up at your feet, and you couldn't help but replay the evening's events in your mind. The vulnerability in Karl's eyes, the beauty of his drawings, and the intensity of his feelings for you. It was a lot to process, and you knew that navigating the path ahead wouldn't be easy.

As you drifted off to sleep, you couldn't help but wonder if there was a way to find common ground with Karl, to bridge the gap that separated you. It was a faint hope, but it was a start.

Meanwhile, in his own bedroom, Karl sat on the edge of his bed, the sketchbook resting on his lap. The room was dimly lit, the soft glow from the bedside lamp casting gentle shadows on the walls. He opened the sketchbook, flipping through the pages with a mix of reverence and melancholy. Each drawing was a testament to the depth of his feelings for you, a silent chronicle of his longing and admiration.

Karl traced his fingers over the lines of your face in the drawings, each stroke capturing a different facet of your beauty. The delicate curve of your smile, the way your hair fell gracefully over your shoulders, the intensity of your gaze—every detail was etched into his mind, transferred onto the paper with painstaking precision. Holding these drawings close was the only way he could hold you close, the only tangible connection he had to you in a marriage filled with distance and misunderstanding.

He lingered on a particular drawing of you sitting by the window, your expression serene as you looked out at the garden. Karl remembered the day he had drawn it, how he had been captivated by the way the sunlight played on your skin, casting a golden glow that made you look almost ethereal. Every time he looked at you, he found something new, something beautiful that he wanted to capture. It was this constant discovery that fueled his obsession, his need to understand and possess you in ways that went beyond the physical.

Karl sighed, closing the sketchbook gently. The drawings were a comfort, but they were also a reminder of what he couldn't have. You were right there, within reach, yet so far away. The gap between you seemed insurmountable, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of despair.

He lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind a whirl of conflicting emotions. The vulnerability he had shown you tonight was a risk, a desperate attempt to bridge the chasm that separated you. But your rejection, though gentle, had stung deeply. He knew he couldn't force you to love him, but the thought of losing you was unbearable.

"Ich liebe dich," he whispered into the darkness, his voice barely audible. "Ich werde dich immer lieben." (I love you. I will always love you.)

As he closed his eyes, he clung to the hope that one day, you might see him not as the man who had forced you into marriage, but as the man who loved you with all his heart. Until then, he would continue to draw, to capture every moment, every fleeting expression, as a way to hold on to you, even if only in his sketches.

The next morning, Karl went downstairs to get breakfast, his head throbbing from last night's drinks. As he reached the dining room, he saw that Johann and Elisabeth were already there, enjoying their meal. Johann looked up, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Well, well, look who finally decided to join us. Can't hold your drink anymore, cousin?" Johann teased, raising his glass in a mock toast.

Karl chuckled, shaking his head. "At least I know when to stop, Johann," he replied, settling into his seat. "Unlike some people I could name."

As he glanced around the room, Karl noticed Hans standing silently by the wall. "Hans, where is my wife?" he asked, his curiosity piqued by your absence.

Hans stepped forward, his demeanor as composed as ever. "Madame had breakfast early this morning and has gone to the music room."

Karl's eyebrows shot up in surprise. In the weeks since you had arrived at the house, you had never once set foot in the music room, not even when he had presented you with a grand piano after hearing from Anna and Liselotte that you played the instrument. Intrigued, Karl stood up, pushing his chair back.

"I'll go check on her," he said, his tone brisk.

Elisabeth, sensing his departure, called out, "Karl, aren't you going to have breakfast?"

"I'll eat later," he responded briefly before heading towards the music room.

As he approached the room, the soft, melodious sound of piano keys reached his ears. Karl's steps slowed, a sense of anticipation building within him. He opened the doors quietly and saw you sitting at the grand piano, your fingers gracefully gliding over the keys. Mouse was sitting on the floor beside you, his ears perked up as if listening intently.

Karl stood in the doorway for a moment, entranced by the sight before him. The room was filled with a gentle, soothing melody, a stark contrast to the tension that usually permeated your interactions. He watched you, your face serene and absorbed in the music, and felt a pang of longing.

You looked up, sensing his presence, and your fingers stilled on the keys. The room fell silent, the music lingering in the air.

"Good morning," you said, your voice soft and composed.

"Good morning," Karl replied, stepping into the room. "I didn't know you played so beautifully."

You glanced down at the piano, a faint smile playing on your lips. "It's been a while since I played. I thought I'd give it a try."

Karl nodded, moving closer. "I'm glad you did. It sounds wonderful."

There was a moment of silence, the unspoken words hanging between you. Karl hesitated, then spoke again. "Would you mind if I joined you?"

You looked up at him, your expression unreadable, but after a brief pause, you nodded. Karl sat down beside you on the piano bench, feeling the warmth of your presence next to him. He watched as you placed your fingers on the keys once more, the music resuming its gentle flow.

As you played, Karl couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over him. The music was a bridge, a connection between you that words had failed to build. For the first time in a long while, he felt hopeful, believing that maybe, just maybe, there was a way to reach you.

When the piece ended, you turned to Karl, a hint of curiosity in your eyes. "Do you play?" you asked, your voice hesitant.

Karl smiled, nodding. "A little. My mother insisted I learn when I was young."

You raised an eyebrow, a faint trace of amusement in your expression. "Show me."

Karl's smile widened as he placed his hands on the keys, trying to recall the simple songs his mother had taught him when he was a boy. His fingers hesitated over the keys, the melodies eluding him. Feeling the weight of your expectant gaze, Karl's confidence wavered, and he felt a twinge of embarrassment.

Determined not to let you see his discomfort, Karl began to play, his fingers moving randomly over the keys, pretending to perform a piece. The notes clashed, creating a disjointed and awkward melody. When he finished, he looked at you with a hesitant smile, hoping you wouldn't notice his lack of skill.

You raised your eyebrows in disbelief and amusement. "What was that supposed to be?" you asked, a faint smile tugging at your lips.

Karl scratched his chin, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. "Well, it was... a unique composition," he replied, trying to maintain his composure.

You rolled your eyes in amusement. "Unique is one way to put it," you scoffed, putting a hand to your lips to suppress your laughter.

Karl pretended to be offended, puffing out his chest. "Hey! I play well, I'll have you know," he declared, his voice filled with mock indignation.

You couldn't help but laugh, the sound light and genuine. "If that's your idea of playing well, then I'd hate to hear what you consider bad," you teased.

Before Karl could respond, the moment was interrupted by the sound of footsteps. Elisabeth entered the music room, her eyes scanning the room until they landed on Karl. "Karl, there you are," she called out, her voice bright and cheerful.

Both you and Karl looked at her, the playful atmosphere evaporating instantly. You stood up, moving away from Karl, your expression returning to its usual guarded demeanor. Karl felt a surge of frustration, once again feeling the sting of a good moment interrupted.

Elisabeth approached Karl, her eyes flicking between the two of you. "Karl, I was wondering if you could show me around the estate. There are so many things I want to see," she said, her voice filled with enthusiasm.

Karl forced a smile, trying to hide his irritation. "Of course, Elisabeth," he replied, his tone polite but strained. "I'll be with you in a moment."

Elisabeth smiled, satisfied with Karl's answer. Karl then turned to you, his eyes searching for a connection. "Would you like to join us?" he asked, his voice tinged with hope.

You looked between the two of them, your expression cold and detached. "No," you replied curtly, bending down to pick up Mouse. Without another word, you left the music room, your steps brisk and purposeful.

Karl watched you leave, a deep frown creasing his forehead. He couldn't understand your sudden change in demeanor. One moment, you were sharing a rare moment of connection with him, and the next, you were as distant and cold as ever. The confusion gnawed at him, leaving him feeling frustrated and helpless.

Elisabeth, noticing Karl's troubled expression, placed a hand on his arm, trying to draw his attention back to her. "Karl, let's go. There's so much I want to see," she urged, her voice sweet but insistent.

Karl sighed, his mind still preoccupied with your abrupt departure. He looked at Elisabeth, forcing a smile. "I'll show you the property later," he said, his tone firmer than before. "I need to have breakfast first."

Elisabeth's smile faltered slightly, but she quickly composed herself. "Of course, Karl," she replied, trying to hide her disappointment. "I'll wait for you in the drawing room."

Karl nodded, his thoughts still lingering on you as he made his way back to the dining room. He couldn't shake the feeling of frustration and confusion. How could you be warm one moment and cold the next? It was as if there was an invisible wall between you, and every time he tried to breach it, you rebuilt it even stronger.

As he sat down to his breakfast, Johann gave him a knowing look. "Trouble in paradise?" he teased, a smirk playing on his lips.

Karl shot him a glare, his patience wearing thin. "Not now, Johann," he muttered, reaching for his coffee. The familiar aroma offered a small comfort, but it did little to ease the turmoil in his mind.

Johann chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright. Just trying to lighten the mood."

Karl ignored him, his thoughts drifting back to you. He couldn't help but replay the moments you had spent together in the music room. For a brief instant, it had felt like there was hope, a possibility of bridging the gap between you. But now, that hope seemed more elusive than ever.

As he finished his breakfast, Karl resolved to try again. He wouldn't give up on you, no matter how difficult it seemed. He loved you with a depth that he couldn't ignore, and he was determined to find a way to make you see that. He just had to be patient, even if it meant enduring moments of coldness and confusion.

After breakfast, Karl returned to the drawing room, where Elisabeth was waiting, her impatience barely concealed. "Ready to go?" she asked, her tone bright and eager.

Karl forced another smile, pushing his frustration aside. "Yes, let's go," he said, offering her his arm. As they walked through the grand halls of the mansion, Karl's thoughts remained divided, his mind constantly drifting back to you.

He knew that winning your heart would be the greatest challenge of his life, but he was ready to face it head-on. For now, he would show Elisabeth around, but his heart remained steadfastly focused on finding a way to bridge the chasm that separated you and him.

Meanwhile, you sat at the breakfast table that was outside the house, an elevated place overlooking the garden. The lush greenery and vibrant flowers, which usually brought you a sense of peace, seemed dull this morning. You held Mouse close to your chest, seeking comfort in his soft fur as you vented your frustrations to Liselotte, who had come up to you after you left the music room. Liselotte sat next to you at the table with your permission, her presence a small comfort amid the turmoil you felt.

"It's painfully obvious that Elisabeth is in love with Karl," you began, your voice tinged with bitterness. "And he seems to love all the attention she's giving him."

Liselotte listened attentively, her expression sympathetic. "Herr Hoffmeister is a man, madame. Men often enjoy female attention," she commented softly. "Especially when the woman in question is as eager as Fräulein Elisabeth."

You huffed, your grip on Mouse tightening slightly. "I don't understand why he entertains her so much. It's as if he doesn't care how it makes me feel."

Liselotte nodded thoughtfully. "Madame, you rarely pay much attention to Herr Hoffmeister yourself. Perhaps he seeks out her company because he feels neglected by you."

You frowned, not wanting to admit that Liselotte might have a point. "Neglected? He forced me into this marriage, Liselotte. He has no right to complain about feeling neglected."

Liselotte sighed, her eyes gentle as she looked at you. "I understand, madame. But Herr Hoffmeister has shown that he cares for you in his own way. Perhaps if you showed him some kindness, it might make a difference."

You scoffed, your frustration bubbling over. "Kindness? Why should I be kind to a man who manipulated my father and forced me into this life?"

Liselotte placed a comforting hand on your arm. "Because, madame, sometimes kindness can open doors that resentment cannot. I see the way Herr Hoffmeister looks at you. Despite everything, he truly loves you."

You shook your head, unwilling to accept Liselotte's words. "He has a strange way of showing it," you muttered, your eyes drifting back to the garden, unable to enjoy the view.

As if on cue, Karl and Elisabeth emerged from the mansion, strolling through the gardens arm in arm. The lush greenery and vibrant flowers served as a picturesque backdrop, but to you, the sight was anything but serene. You watched them from your elevated position at the breakfast table, your anger simmering with each step they took together.

"Look at them," you muttered to Liselotte, unable to tear your eyes away. "Parading around like they're the perfect couple."

Liselotte followed your gaze, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. "Madame, are you jealous of Herr Hoffmeister?"

You scoffed, the very idea seeming preposterous to you. "Jealous? God, no. Karl can entertain whoever he wants. I'd be happier if he just left me alone."

Liselotte chuckled softly, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "You seem quite bothered by their closeness, madame. Perhaps there is more to it than you admit."

You shook your head vehemently, refusing to entertain the notion. "It's not jealousy, Liselotte. It's just... disgusting. He's her cousin, for heaven's sake. There's something very wrong about it."

Liselotte's laughter was gentle, almost teasing. "Family relationships can be complex, madame. But it does seem like Herr Hoffmeister cares deeply for you, despite everything."

You tightened your grip on Mouse, your frustration evident. "If he truly cared, he wouldn't flaunt his relationship with Elisabeth in front of me. It's as if he's trying to provoke me."

Liselotte's eyes softened with sympathy. "Perhaps he is trying to make you jealous, madame. Men often resort to such tactics when they feel they are not getting the attention they desire."

You frowned, not wanting to give Karl the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten under your skin. "Well, it's not working," you lied, your voice firm. "He can do whatever he wants with Elisabeth. It makes no difference to me."

Liselotte nodded, her expression thoughtful. "Of course, madame. But maybe, just maybe, showing Herr Hoffmeister a bit of kindness could change things. It's clear he is desperate for your affection."

You sighed, feeling the weight of Liselotte's words. "I'll think about it," you said, though your heart remained conflicted.

As Karl and Elisabeth continued their stroll through the gardens, you couldn't help but watch them, a storm of emotions swirling within you. Despite your protestations, a small, stubborn part of you couldn't deny the pang of jealousy you felt seeing them together. But admitting that, even to yourself, was a step you weren't ready to take.

Meanwhile, Karl continued showing Elisabeth around the property, taking her to the new stable he had built a few years ago. As they walked, he explained the care and attention that had gone into constructing the stables and maintaining the horses. The smell of hay and the soft whinnies of the horses greeted them as they approached.

"These are some of the finest horses you'll find," Karl said proudly, gesturing towards the stable doors. "I invested a lot in ensuring they have the best care."

He introduced Elisabeth to Heinrich, the stable manager, who was diligently grooming one of the horses. Heinrich gave a polite nod, his hands never stopping their rhythmic brushing.

Elisabeth responded with a brief nod before turning her attention back to Karl. "They're beautiful, Karl," she said, her tone disinterested as she glanced at the horses.

Karl noticed Elisabeth's indifferent attitude towards Heinrich but chose not to comment. He couldn't help but think of you and how differently you treated the staff. You always acknowledged them with genuine warmth and respect, making them feel valued rather than beneath you. It was a stark contrast to the way Elisabeth interacted with those around her.

As Karl led Elisabeth to one of the horses, a magnificent black stallion named Blitz, he couldn't help but remember the first day he met you. He had been walking through the bustling streets of the city, having just left one of his factories and heading towards his car. The air was filled with the sounds of commerce and the chatter of people going about their day.

Karl had been preoccupied with thoughts of his business when he collided with you, causing the basket of apples you were carrying to spill onto the cobblestones. Embarrassment flushed his face as he bent down to pick up the scattered apples, apologizing profusely.

"I'm so sorry," he had said, his voice filled with genuine regret. "I wasn't paying attention."

You had smiled warmly, your eyes sparkling with amusement as you bent down to help him. "It's quite alright," you had replied, your tone kind and forgiving. "Accidents happen."

As you both gathered the apples, Karl had been struck by your grace and the kindness in your eyes. There was something about you that had captivated him instantly. He had watched you with a sense of awe, unable to shake the feeling that he had just encountered someone extraordinary.

Karl held out the last apple he picked up from the cobblestone street, his eyes meeting yours as you reached for it. Your fingers brushed against his, sending a jolt of electricity through him. He felt an unexpected connection in that brief touch, something he hadn't experienced before.

"I hope I haven't ruined your day," he said, his voice filled with genuine concern.

You laughed lightly, the sound like music to his ears. "Not at all," you replied, placing the apple back in the basket. "In fact, you've made my day more interesting."

You then selected another apple, a clean and shiny one, and handed it to Karl. "Here," you said, placing it in his hand. "Take this as a token of our meeting."

Karl looked at the apple in his hand, then back at you, feeling a warmth spread through him. "Thank you," he said softly, his gaze fixed on your retreating figure as you walked past him and disappeared into the crowd.

He didn't know who you were at the time, but the memory of that encounter stayed with him. Since that day, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He began to notice you more often, always seeing you on Tuesdays with your basket of apples. You would walk through the bustling streets, stopping by his factory to offer apples to the workers and children. Your kindness and generosity captivated him, and he found himself looking forward to those moments when he could catch a glimpse of you from his office window.

He learned to anticipate your visits, memorizing the way you moved, the light in your eyes, and the genuine smile you offered to everyone you encountered. Your presence was a bright spot in his otherwise monotonous days, and he found himself longing to know more about you.

One day, while watching you distribute apples, Karl overheard a conversation between two of his employees. They mentioned your name and spoke of you with admiration. He learned that you were the daughter of a factory owner, one of Karl's competitors. The realization stunned him, but it only deepened his fascination. You were more than just a kind stranger; you were someone who belonged to a world that was both familiar and foreign to him.

Determined to learn more, Karl began to gather information about your family and your father's business. He discovered that your father's factories were indeed competitors, but it didn't deter him. Instead, it fueled his desire to bridge the gap between your worlds. He started to see your father's business not as a rival but as a part of you, something that connected you both.

His feelings for you grew stronger with each passing day, and he knew he had to find a way to be closer to you. He couldn't shake the memory of your touch, your laughter, and the kindness that radiated from you. Karl realized that his heart was set on you, and he was willing to do whatever it took to win your affection.

Back in the present, as he stood in the stable with Elisabeth, Karl's thoughts were far from the horses and the property. His mind was filled with memories of you, the woman who had captured his heart with a simple act of kindness. He longed to recreate those moments, to find a way to break through the barriers that now separated you.

Elisabeth's voice broke through his reverie, pulling him back to the present. "Karl, are you even listening?" she asked, a hint of frustration in her tone.

Karl shook his head slightly, offering her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Elisabeth. My mind was elsewhere."

Elisabeth frowned, her eyes narrowing as she studied him. "You were thinking about her, weren't you?"

Karl didn't deny it. "Yes," he admitted, his voice soft but resolute. "I was."

Elisabeth's expression softened, a mix of jealousy and understanding in her eyes. "Karl, why do you put yourself through this? She doesn't appreciate you. She doesn't see what you see."

Karl sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I can't help how I feel, Elisabeth. She means everything to me. And I believe that, deep down, she has the capacity to care for me too. I just need to find a way to show her."

Elisabeth's irritation grew, her face flushed with frustration. She gathered her skirts with a huff and stormed away from the stable, her steps quick and purposeful. Karl watched her retreating figure in confusion, his mind racing to understand her sudden anger.

"Elisabeth, wait!" he called after her, his voice filled with genuine concern. But Elisabeth ignored him, her back stiff with determination as she continued to march towards the mansion.

Karl swore under his breath, feeling a mix of frustration and bewilderment. "Why do women have to be so complicated?" he muttered to himself.

As if in response, one of the horses snorted loudly, the sound almost seeming to agree with Karl. He turned to the animal, a small smile tugging at his lips despite his annoyance. Reaching out, he gently petted the horse's nose, finding some solace in the simple act.

The stable manager, Heinrich, approached, a knowing smile on his weathered face. "Blitz has always had a knack for sensing people's moods," he commented, his voice warm and soothing.

Karl looked at Heinrich, appreciating the distraction. "Seems like it," he replied, continuing to stroke the horse's muzzle. "Sometimes I think animals understand us better than humans do."

Heinrich chuckled, nodding in agreement. "They certainly have a way of sensing our emotions. Blitz here is a fine stallion, one of the best we've ever had. He's strong, intelligent, and fiercely loyal. Reminds me of you, Herr Hoffmeister."

Karl raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the comparison. "Me? How so?"

Heinrich smiled, his eyes twinkling with wisdom. "Like Blitz, you're strong and determined. You care deeply for those around you, even if it doesn't always show. And just like this stallion, you have a good heart, despite the challenges you face."

Karl's expression softened, the words resonating with him. "Thank you, Heinrich. That means a lot."

Heinrich nodded, giving Blitz a final pat before stepping back. "Sometimes, Herr Hoffmeister, the best way to win someone's heart is through patience and understanding. Just like with the horses. You can't force them to trust you; you have to earn it."

Karl sighed, his thoughts drifting back to you. "I suppose you're right. It's just...difficult."

Heinrich placed a reassuring hand on Karl's shoulder. "Love always is, sir. But it's worth it. Keep trying, and you'll find a way."

Karl nodded, feeling a renewed sense of determination. "Thank you, Heinrich. I'll remember that."

As Heinrich returned to his duties, Karl took a moment to collect his thoughts. The stable manager's words had struck a chord, reminding him that patience and perseverance were essential in winning your heart. He couldn't force you to love him, but he could continue to show you that his feelings were genuine.

Karl looked at Heinrich, who was busy putting food out for the horses. A thought crossed his mind, and he decided to voice it. "Heinrich," Karl began, his tone casual, "have you ever met my wife?"

Heinrich continued working, his movements precise and practiced. "Yes, Herr Hoffmeister," he replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "She comes by every now and then to see the horses. Your wife has a gentle touch with them."

Karl's interest was piqued. "Really? Does she have a favorite?"

Heinrich smiled as he continued working. "Indeed, she does. There's a little foal that was born a few weeks ago. Your wife has taken quite a liking to it. She was quite saddened to hear that it will be sold when it turns one year old."

Karl's curiosity grew. "Which foal is that?"

Heinrich led Karl to one of the stalls, where a young foal with a light brown coat and white markings stood, nibbling on some hay. "This one, Herr Hoffmeister. One of the horses you've put up for sale. It's a fine young foal, full of spirit."

Karl observed the foal, a smile tugging at his lips. "Has it been given a name yet?"

Heinrich chuckled. "No, not officially. But your wife chose a name for it."

Karl looked at him expectantly. "Oh? What name did she choose?"

Heinrich grinned. "She named it 'Spaghetti.'"

Karl burst into laughter, the sound echoing through the stable. "Spaghetti? That's quite a name."

Heinrich joined in the laughter. "Yes, it seems your wife has a unique sense of humor. But it suits the foal, don't you think?"

Karl nodded, still chuckling. "It doesn't surprise me much, given that she named her dog Mouse. She certainly has a way with names."

As the laughter subsided, Karl felt a sense of warmth spreading through him. Despite the challenges in their relationship, moments like this reminded him of the unique charm and spirit you possessed. It was these little quirks and gestures that made him fall in love with you even more.

"Thank you, Heinrich," Karl said, patting the stable manager on the shoulder. "I appreciate you sharing this with me."

Heinrich nodded, his expression kind. "Of course, Herr Hoffmeister. I believe there's a lot more to your wife than meets the eye. She's a remarkable woman."

Karl smiled, his determination to bridge the gap between you growing stronger. "Yes, she certainly is."

Elisabeth searched through the house for you, her frustration mounting as she failed to locate you in the drawing room, music room, and other usual places. When one of the employees informed her that you were at the table outside, Elisabeth made her way there, her steps quick and determined.

As she approached the outdoor breakfast table, she saw you engaged in conversation with Liselotte, who was seated beside you. Elisabeth waved to the maid, expecting her to leave, but when Liselotte remained seated, Elisabeth's irritation flared.

"I need to speak with [Your Name]," Elisabeth said sharply, her tone brooking no argument.

Liselotte looked at you for guidance, her expression calm and unyielding. "I only respond to orders from the lady of the house," she replied evenly, her loyalty to you evident.

Elisabeth's face flushed with anger, her eyes narrowing. "I said, I need to talk to her," she repeated, her voice rising.

You smiled gently at Liselotte, your tone soothing. "It's alright, Liselotte. Could you please leave us alone for a moment?"

Liselotte nodded, rising gracefully from her seat. "Of course, madame," she said, bowing slightly before walking away, her steps measured and composed.

Elisabeth took Liselotte's place at the table, her demeanor a mix of frustration and determination. "Why do you let the employees sit with you like that?" she questioned, her tone accusatory.

You ignored her question, your expression calm but firm. "What do you want, Elisabeth?" you asked, your voice steady.

Elisabeth hesitated, her anger momentarily subdued by your directness. "I spoke with Karl this morning," she began, her eyes searching yours for any reaction.

You leaned forward, intrigued by Elisabeth's words. The hope that Karl might finally grant you a divorce flickered in your heart, a small spark of possibility. "And? What did Karl say?" you asked, your voice betraying a mixture of anticipation and dread.

Elisabeth's expression hardened, her frustration palpable. "He refuses to grant you a divorce," she said bluntly. "He believes that you'll change your mind about loving him and that you'll start fulfilling your wifely duties."

Bitterness welled up within you at the mention of "wifely duties." You loathed how Karl spoke of them, as if they were your obligation to him. "Wifely duties," you repeated, the words dripping with disdain. "It's infuriating how he talks about it as if he gave me a choice in this marriage. He forced me into it, and now he expects me to play the dutiful wife."

Elisabeth's eyes softened with understanding, her own frustrations momentarily set aside. "I know," she said quietly. "It's unfair, and it’s cruel. You deserve the freedom to choose your own path."

You looked at Elisabeth, a part of you surprised by the genuine sympathy in her voice. Despite your initial dislike for her, you were beginning to see that she was offering you something no one else had: a chance at freedom. "Thank you for trying to help," you said, your voice softening. "I appreciate it, even if it didn't work."

Elisabeth continued, her tone now conspiratorial as she leaned closer. "I have a plan," she whispered, glancing around to ensure no one was eavesdropping. "You could run away tonight."

Your heart raced at her words, the prospect of escape igniting a flicker of hope. "Run away? How?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Elisabeth's eyes gleamed with determination. "I can saddle one of the horses for you tonight, after everyone has gone to bed," she explained, her voice low and urgent. "I'll give you some money so you can ride to the city and stay at an inn until morning. From there, you can catch a train to wherever you want."

The idea warmed you, a sense of excitement and relief washing over you. "I could take the train to my aunt's house," you said, your voice filled with newfound hope. "She lives far away from here, and she would take me in."

Elisabeth nodded, her expression resolute. "That sounds perfect. It will give you a chance to start anew, away from all of this."

You looked at Elisabeth, your eyes searching hers for any sign of deception. "Why are you helping me?" you asked, your voice tinged with suspicion.

Elisabeth hesitated for a moment, her gaze dropping to the table. When she looked up again, her eyes were filled with a mix of determination and vulnerability. "Because I want Karl for myself," she admitted softly, the truth hanging heavily between you. "I've been in love with him for as long as I can remember, and I can't bear to see him so unhappy."

The revelation wasn't entirely surprising, but hearing it confirmed left you momentarily speechless. Elisabeth's motives were clear now, and while her feelings for Karl didn't change your opinion of him, they did explain her eagerness to help.

"You're doing this for him, not for me," you said, your tone thoughtful.

Elisabeth nodded, her expression earnest. "Yes, but helping you also means helping him. If you're gone, maybe he'll realize that I'm the one who truly cares for him, the one who can make him happy."

You considered her words, the mixture of motives swirling in your mind. While Elisabeth's intentions were selfish, they aligned with your own desire for freedom. You had nothing to lose and everything to gain by accepting her plan.

"Alright," you agreed, your voice steady. "Let's do it."

Elisabeth's face lit up with relief and anticipation. "I'll come to your room tonight after everyone is asleep," she said. "Be ready."

You nodded, your heart pounding with a mix of fear and excitement. The thought of escaping this gilded cage was almost too good to be true. As Elisabeth stood to leave, you couldn't help but feel a spark of hope ignite within you. Tonight, you would take the first step toward reclaiming your freedom and your future.

#alan rickman #alan rickman x reader #karl hoffmeister x reader #karl hoffmeister #a promise

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b1mbodoll · 1 year ago

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(sorry for my english)

what do you think about sunghoon pissing on/in reader??

he'd gaslight them to make them think this is the only way he'll forgive them for even looking at other guys. it could be all intimate and reader could be totally up for it BUT hoon could also make it so humiliating, forcing reader to show everyone who they belong to..

“IN THAT CASE could you write hoonie pissing on your face to show you who you belong to ??? <33”

pairings: park sunghoon x f! reader

warnings: omorashi + degradation + manipulation + jealousy + humiliation

💌: i sort of combined these two asks bc i love this omg u dont understand, i love u guys and ur minds. also nonnie please dont apologize for ur english, its great !!! <3

“what the fuck were you thinking, yn? why would you let him touch you like that, don’t you love me?” sunghoon was seething, muscles taut and his hair a mess due to him tugging on it in frustration as he stared you down. “i do love you hoonie! promise i didn’t want him anywhere near me but he wouldn’t leave me alone,” you explained, tears lining your lashline because the thought of making sunghoon feel unloved was killing you. “please believe me! what can i do t’make it up to you hoonie? i’ll do anything, just-“ you sniffled, “just want you to believe me please.”

sunghoon was impossibly hard now, cock throbbing when the sound of your soft sniffles and whimpers reached his ears. you tried your best to stop crying but little did you know his plan was now in motion. “well, i guess there’s something you can do, but,” he sighed, “i don’t know if you’re up for it…’s okay sweetheart, don’t worry about me.” your eyes widened as you wrapped your hands around his noticeably larger one, “no! tell me hoonie, i said i’ll do anything. wan’ show you how much i love you.” well how could he say no to that?

“okay angel i guess we can try it out.. get on your knees ‘nd start suckin’ my cock.” you complied with his request immediately, not wanting to upset him even more. you noticed his cock was already leaking quite a bit inside your mouth, thinking you were making him feel so good he produced more precum than usual made you bob your head faster, gagging around his girthy cock.

your boyfriend was in heaven. your gags and moans causing vibrations around his cock that sent him over the edge, but not before he pushed your head down, your nose pressed right up against his pelvis causing you to choke a bit. “fuck yeah, doll, take this fuckin’ cock. this is what you get for letting others touch what belongs to me.” you squeezed your eyes shut as tears continued sliding down your cheeks, the warm stream of sunghoon‘s piss hitting the back of your throat was too much for you, nails digging into his meaty thighs. he let go of your head when he finished, squishing your cheeks together to watch his piss leak from your sore mouth.

“look so fuckin’ pretty, angel, you’re nasty aren’t you? look at you clenching your thighs, god, you’re pathetic. think that guy would still wanna fuck you if he saw you like this?” you were so humiliated, you couldn’t believe that sunghoon pissing down your throat turned you on this much. he let go of your cheeks to pet your head, letting you rest on his thigh. “don’ care about him, hoonie. promise i don’t, i’m yours. only ever wanna be yours,” you sighed, looking up at him with a pout on your lips. “i only love you, do you believe me now?” he smiled down at you, “i don’t know baby we might need to do this again sometime before i can forgive you.”

#♡.signed. sealed. delivered.#♡.the honeypot #enhypen x reader #enhypen smut #enhypen #park sunghoon #park sunghoon x reader #💌.omorashi #💌.degradation #💌.manipulation

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gemini-sensei · 5 months ago

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You have a point! The fight totally wouldn't happen! Along with that, Demetri also wouldn't out Eli's medical issue. Like a ton of shit would be avoided if they all decided to chill out lol

I also love how well you know Yasmine! I definitely think she'd gravitate towards the "ew" perspective of pregnancy LOL but also I can see her telling Kyler to go die if he's ever mean to the sweet pregnant girl again 😭 Yasmine and Moon would definitely spoil that baby though, and who wouldn't? She'd have big blue eyes and gorgeous brown curls 🥹

I wonder how the CK people would find their way from Kreese & Silver this time, though? Maybe Aisha, Sam, and Reader find their way back to being friends again and she brings Tory around bc everyone very highkey wants to see the baby??

I think Tory, without all that romantic jealousy, would be really open to a more peaceful perspective. Like she see's Sam and is PISSED but then she notices that Sam and Robby are completely infatuated with each other, and ofc Miguel has been over her for months. And also there is just a cute baby being handed around, so she can't be all that mad??

Maybe she meets the LaRusso family and sees how kind they are- maybe she's complaining about her shithole job and Mr. LaRusso decides to give her a nice paying internship (because he's trying to be better with second chances and he can tell that she really needs it) and Aisha and Tory kind of usher in this change for the rest of the Cobras?

Ugh I love slice of life where everything goes well LOL sorry 🫶🏽

Thank you for letting me think about this for so long :) - 🌼

Sorry this took a few days to get to. I've not been sleeping well. But omg this is amazing. I still absolutely love this and you make so many great points. Also, I couldn't think of a name for the baby, so she's lovingly referred to as Babygirl so y'all came fill in with whatever name ya want 💗

All the things that wouldn't happen would mean the whole trajectory of the show would change up a bit. However, I think Kreese would still be a manipulative shit and manage to keep ahold of Miguel, Tory, and the other Cobras for a while. Aisha, not so much but she stays in CK but just doesn't take a lot of Kreese's lessons to heart.

While Reader and Eli aren't in school, getting used to having a newborn around and such, the karate drama has some time to get bad. It would get bad. With Kreese instigating a lot from his end, the Cobras would start some bullshit with the Miyagi-Dos (the school rules wouldn't have been changed so there's a lot more freedom for stuff to just happen and it be played off as a joke or some karate practice). It's a hot mess.

Meanwhile, Reader and Eli are at home with their precious baby girl who is just too cute to even comprehend. Reader never wants to leave her side and Eli never wants to leave their side. It's so adorable, they're adorable. They are such a cute family.

The first few days, Daniel and Amanda rotated staying home with them to help out, especially since Reader literally just gave birth and needs to rest. However, over time, they leave the new family to figure things out on their own when both her parents have to go to work. Eli practically lives at the LaRusso house now because he'll be damned if he leaves his little family ever. He's so sad when he has to go back to school because why would he do that? Why does he have to do that? But ever the diligent student, Eli caves and goes to school, only to learn shit with Cobra Kai has gotten bad and in all honesty, he'd forgotten about the dojo war. Of course, he did, he has a new baby at home and a girlfriend who literally just gave birth. He has better things to worry about, but he doesn't mind putting some Cobra bullies in their place while he's at school.

Sam, Moon, and Yasmine love the baby. She's just too cute not to love. Yasmine won't hold her because she's probably never held a baby in her life and the thought terrifies her. She will buy so many cute outfits for the baby girl though. She's so happy it's a girl because she buys little dresses that she'll have to grow into and other little outfits. Yasmine also buys matching outfits for Reader and Babygirl to wear because that's "so cute." Moon buys all sorts of stuff, from toys to baby books about the environment. She probably helped design the nursery with Sam in all honesty. And Sam just wants to hold her niece as much as possible. She loves being an aunt and rocking the little one. She literally gets up in the middle of the night if Babygirl is crying to take care of her because she loves her so much and her sister needs some sleep.

And while those three definitely spoil the baby, Daniel outshines them in that category in all honesty. Sure, there are some leftover toys and furniture from when Sam, Reader, and Anthony were babies, but he goes all out and buys his first grandbaby new toys and a crib because he thinks she deserves it. He and Eli put the whole nursery together, asking himself why Sam and Moon were bossing them around and telling them where to put everything. He is hard-pressed to put Babygirl down when he holds her because "no one loves her more than grandpa." He was buying so much, Amanda had to sit him down and tell him so stop because this is insanity; they didn't even spend as much on their own kids when one of them was born. He pouts about it as he's put on a limit but is still thinking about the next thing he's going to buy his granddaughter.

When Reader returns to school with her newborn, she gets to see firsthand what a shit show it's become, at least when it comes to her sister and their friends. Everyone else is pretty chill. A ton of people wanna meet the baby and she's kind to them and talks to them about how their older siblings have kids or they have baby cousins. It's a warm welcome.

As she gets used to going to school with Babygirl, her friends are right by her side. Eli or Sam had done a lot of her schoolwork she was missing, going back to teach it to her when she wasn't feeding Babygirl or sleeping. But now she has to start doing things on her own again, not that those two still aren't trying to help her. She refuses their offers to do her homework for her because she really does have to do it on her own. So, they just help with whatever else they can, and the same goes for the rest of their friends. Demetri pitches in to explain anything Reader needs help with in a subject he's superb in; Robby takes on his uncle role at school and does whatever Reader needs (usually Robby just wants to carry the diaper bag because he's still getting used to the baby, he's also a little awkward around babies and young children); Yasmine is moral support while Moon will happily take Babygirl off Reader's hands during her free period.

Their attention is completely diverted from CK and they ignore the opposing dojo a lot better with Babygirl around. The Cobras take notice and kind of don't do anything at school or when Reader is around. To cause violence or spit volatile words at the group when there's a baby around kind of goes way past what some of them are willing to do. Unless you're an idiot like Kyler, who doesn't care who is around or why it's wrong, because he's always right in his opinion.

This is when Aisha would start to come around again and Reader and Sam are very receptive to her presence. Reader would be so excited to introduce her baby girl to her longtime friend. Aisha gets to hold her and tells her how awesome her mom is. It really helps their friendship, which Reader never thought of as broken, just lost. Sam is so excited, she's taking pictures of everything as it happens. She's gonna turn into her dad with scrapbooks and photo albums, I swear.

As they start hanging out more, Aisha gets a lot of questions from the Cobras, mostly Tory and Miguel. Tory doesn't want to seem so interested in whatever the other dojo is doing but she really doesn't have a reason to be mad. Miguel hasn't mentioned Sam or the others in months, so really all she has to be mad at Sam for is being uppity and accusing her of stealing, which is so far in the past now it's barely a memory to either of them. So they're watching from afar as their supposed rivals and former friends all fuss over this adorable little baby.

Aisha finally asks if they want her to ask if it's okay if they hangout with them one night because they're gonna have a study/movie night (something they do to help the new parents get through school and relax a little). Tory and Miguel aren't entirely sure but Aisha asks anyway. At first, the MDs are a little apprehensive, but Reader is all for it. She happily says, "Sure, why not? They don't seem all that bad."

Eli is on edge because this is his former best friend Miguel and his girlfriend Tory who swore to hate them. He sits beside Reader the whole night and barely gets anything done because he's so worried about this being some scheme of CK's to get back at them for just being a rival dojo. However, as the evening goes on, he relaxes as they don't say or do anything malicious or scheming. Miguel is gushing over the baby and Tory is laidback with a smile as she watches him melt into the sappy guy she knows he is (because in CK under Kreese, he'd be a tough guy with a hard exterior). It's a nice change of pace for everyone.

In the middle of their study session, Daniel and Amanda come home and meet Miguel and Tory. They recognize Miguel from the AVT but Tory is pretty much new to them. They're welcoming because even though they are Cobras, Daniel sees the look Sam is giving him while Reader is cooing at Babygirl. He knows better than to say something to either of them even though he doesn't want any part of Cobra Kai in his home (sans Johnny who is trying to rebuild his relationship with Robby, who refuses to live with him and is still sleeping in the home dojo). Amanda walks away saying she'll order pizza for everyone and it's a great night for everyone.

Tory blows off her homework in favor of complaining about work and hating her job. She's tired of her boss being a creep and at hearing this, Miguel gets super protective and looks so mean. His Cobra is showing but she tells him to calm down because he knows she can take care of himself. He's still a little mad though because he just doesn't like hearing that women get treated badly by creepy bosses, especially his girlfriend. Reader suggests finding another job but Tory explains that it's not that easy because everyone wants something different from her.

Daniel can't help but overhear the conversation but doesn't do anything about it that night. He lets the teens enjoy their movie and pizza after their homework, the first movie a kids movie for Babygirl before Reader puts her to sleep upstairs and then they watch a movie everyone wants to watch.

The next time Tory comes over, he offers her that internship with pay. He talked about it with his daughters first, asking their opinion and if they'd be okay if Tory came to work for him. They were okay with it and he offers the position to Tory, who takes it only after asking a ton of questions - like if Reader put him up to this. He explains that this was all him and that everyone deserves to have second chances, then adds in how Eli works for him half-time to build workplace experience and give him some money to put away for other expenses down the line. The next week, Tory is wearing a nice dress and working under Amanda only to realize she doesn't like it that much and asks to be put in the shop where she can actually do something (mechanic!Tory anyone?). Daniel doesn't mind going in and working on cars with her and it's actually really nice, and he promises her that if anyone is creepy toward her, he'd beat them up himself before firing them.

It wouldn't be long after that, Miguel and Tory leave Cobra Kai with Aisha. They would start to see some things that just weren't right, and especially hearing some stories about Kreese from Daniel and Johnny. They'd apologize to Johnny for not listening to him and thinking he didn't know what he was talking about. They probably take a step back from karate for a bit until Aisha suggests they all join Miyagi-Do. It would be a welcome change for the teens and they'd happily do it.

Behind all the slice-of-life cuteness and warmth, Kreese is still building up Cobra Kai to his image of former glory. He'll still have people like Kyler and loyal Cobras under his thumb, and use his manipulation to recruit more students and later Terry Silver. A baby can bring a lot of people together but he swears it won't stop him. So what if that baby girl took away his best students? If they were persuaded by a baby, then they weren't strong enough to be in Cobra Kai anyway. So, unfortunately, Babygirl won't be enough to stop this all-out karate war...

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tartigglez · 2 years ago

Note

Hello tunblr user that I have NEVER spoken to before

Can I pretty please request dragon!zhongli doing dragon!Zhongli things

Like hoarding shiny things, and having a tail and hating random plants and squid 😭😭😭😭 idk I’m just hoping that something in this magically inspires your brain BUT feel free to ignore me

(I also really wanted to initiate ur ask box lol)

~ 🌷 anon <3

Why hello there tumblr user who i have also never spoken to! i hope this is uh,,, acceptable.

it was so hard to find a title for this oml

"my natural form...?"

zhongli x gn!reader

genre: fluff, pure unfiltered fluffiness, such fluff, many fluffitude

word count: 500-ish

tags: retail addict zhong bc we love to see it, possessive zhong, zhong hates fish zhong, protective zhong (hes a cutie patootie guys omgomomgomgomgogmogmHDKAJH), venti makes a cameo/reader is a traveller but not tHE traveller bc THEYRE MINORS I REFUSE TO WRITE THAT. thats kinda it

tw/cw: possessive dragon boi, it lowkey seems like lightly toxic behaviour but i think thats it

a/n: i wrote a little smol bit of this every night this week so its maybe a bit disjointed but whatever. this was fun to write ty tulip bb. zhongli is the cutest im so sOFT FOR THIS MAN AAAA. also send me asks, ples, pls, plsssssssss, pls.

dragon!zhongli who will buy pretty things without even realising that he quite literally has a retail addiction. will put things in random places in your house then get really confused when you move them. he keeps closely monitored stock of everything.

“darling, have you seen my golden vase anywhere”

“which golden vase?”

“the one i purchased last week, at the market”

“i put flowers in it, it’s in the kitchen”

“okay, okay, good”

“you seem awfully worried about it”

“i am not, i simply… wished to know where it was… is all.”

“i see.”

dragon!zhongli who is lowkey possessive over you but refuses to admit it, also he feels that jealousy is not a good shade on him. But he’s a dragon, and you’re his most prized treasure, so it is only natural to him to protect you, right? it can’t be helped. he's got a really good sense of smell, so he can always tell who you’ve been around in the past few hours, but won’t tell you because he's afraid it’ll freak you out.

(side note: he totally loves your scent and will compliment you on it all the time, like he’ll bury his head in your neck to calm himself down omg)

“my dear, who was with you earlier?”

“the guild had me teleport to mondstadt for a commission, why?”

“nothing my love, i simply- nevermind”

you look him in the eyes doubtfully

“tell.”

“alright. you were with the anemo archon, yes?”

“i was. i was sent out to windrise to fight some hilichurls, i ran into him and he helped me defeat them, why?”

“nothing, darling. the hilichurls didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“when has a hilichurl ever hurt me?”

“it is difficult to argue with that logic.”

dragon!zhongli who despite literally creating the harbour, refuses to go near the markets. he cannot stand the smell of the seafood that the merchants sell, so despite trying to “blend in” whilst in his mortal form, he will rarely be sighted outside the innermost parts of the city.

“li’”

“yes, dear?”

“shall we take a stroll by the harbour? i have a free hour this afternoon and we should spend some time together. i haven’t spent much time with you this week, and i've missed you.”

“i have missed you too, love, however i think that-”

“you think?”

“i think that it is rather cold, down by the harbour. Shall we go to the teahouse instead?”

dragon!zhongli who is unconsciously protective of you in his sleep. he will wrap his tail around your form when cuddling, as a literal natural response. puts it around your waist and between your arms whilst spooning you so you can hug it like a teddy bear whilst he puts little kisses on your shoulders as you doze off. tells you the stories of years gone by as you sleep to vent his worries.

“li’”

“darling?”

“tell a story”

“must i?”

“yes, you must!”

“very well my dear, close your eyes.”

#zhongli #zhongli headcanons #zhongli x reader #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #cael is talking to 🌷 anon :0

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cbsghostsmetasandtrevor · 6 days ago

Text

CBS Ghosts 4x4 Live Reaction

I heard this one is about Trevor :)

So... read under the cut for spoilers.

LOL Sass watching a branch falling????

Aww poor ghosts. "We could start a rumor."

Pete walked right into that one. Love Pete's new abilities. I'd Brag too.

Sass totally deserved to made fun of!

Sam giving Isaac advice. - OMG.

OMG Trevor just announcing a job.

"MOM AND DAD"

"A great time to be a ghost job" - I love this.

"People have lives" - "You're dead".

LOL Sam and Jay weren't even mad. Just surprised. And he doesn't even ask for help????

There's already too many plots though. Three with Rumors/Isaac/Trevor all have plots.

LOL at the Rumor thing though. Thor is SPOILING EVERYTHING!

OMG Jay being Trevor. Please! I love how he's so proactive. No one has asked about his salary???

Sam is on board! She's excited for this.

LOL Alberta "What the hell is this?"

TREVOR IS OFFERING THEM MONEY! SO DIFFERENT TO ISAAC I LOVE HIM!

OMG MICHEAL JACKSON?? WHY TREVOR???

Like Trevor just wants to keep his job and is willing to help (like he always does) and Isaac just makes things worse.

I love how the FOUNTAIN is the important thing here?

Where's Flower? Have we seen her?

Why is no one really reacting the whole job thing??

Wow. They're terrible. This is terrible!

"Lock your door Dave"

Nancy with the rumor. Isaac with the freakout. Jay looking bad.

LOL Thor yelling that at Bjorn. LOL.

Isaac slapping Pete????

WTF!

Isaac this is your fault not Pete!

Sam's getting into being the lonely innkeeper.

LOL Alberta!

Oooh, Jay taking the ear piece out. OMG SAM!

Jay being the winner! and cooler... awwww. They like Jay.

Awww Trevor :(

I hate this. Why beat up on Trevor?

Can't he have a good episode??? Like All he wants is a fucking job. So sad.

This might've been more fun if Trevor possessed Jay.

Awww, Jay you are not helpful.

Poor Trevor. This hurts.

"Did you see Parade?"

Awww, Trevor. It's nice of Sam to try and help. Jay talking to him AFTER he leaves.

F OFF Jay. There's nothing wrong with that.

I like Jay feeling bad though.

"Cheesed off." "Slap them with my words!!!!" LOL

The ghosts jealousy!!!

Awww Trevor. Love the eye roll.

Awww JAY. Talking about Trevor as a mentor!

T- Money??? OMG you do??

Sam's got a twin now?

AWWWW he's a legend!!! AND THEY KNOW THE STORY ABOUT PINKUS!!!

AWWW!!! I love this!!!

He's actually REMEMBERED!! What all of the Ghosts WANT he GOT!!!

THE RUN OF FUN TO REMEMBER TREVOR!!! OMG!!!

OMG!!! This is so great!!!

Okay, the episode made up for the sad part in the middle!! Cute, Sad Trevor gets a happy ending!!!

WAIT WAIT WAIT DOES THIS MEAN THEY WORK FOR PINKUS????

PINKUS MADE SURE HE WAS REMEMBERED!!! <3 <3 <3

I love you, Pinkus. We need to see you!!!!

Love Pete was excited until finding out that she was a murderer!!! LOVE IT!

Poor Pete.

Nancy and Judy yelling!!!

LOL the rumors continue!

Flower was missing???

Overall, the ending made up for it, but there were slightly too many plots. I think we should've spent more time on Sam and Jay being like "how the fuck" with the whole "I have a job thing" and wondering what he's been doing with the money.

OTOH he's the ONLY ghost to HELP THEM GET MONEY.

This is the third time - first, the watch. second, the investing of Isaac's money. and third, giving his earned money for helping.

This is the third season that he's saved Sam's life too. He's clearly the best ghost.... JS.

I do love Jay coming up with something that made it all better, but please drop the issue with Bela. PLEASE.

Ended up loving it! <3.

#trevor lefkowitz #jay arondekar #cbs ghosts #cbs ghosts spoilers #ghosts cbs #ghosts cbs spoilers

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bvidzsoo · 10 months ago

Text

Love Me Like A Rockstar (4)

ー☆ Chapter 4: Comatose

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cussing, mentions of a panic attack ー☆ Word count: 8.1k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hello, lovelies! The long awaited 4th chapter is here and omg I'm so sorry for the long wait! I haven't even realized it's been a month since my last update...but I had a lot of stuff to do for my University and just didn't find the time to write, but here I am now, and I'll try to update next week or after that! I promise you'll have lots of Mingi next chapter *wink wink*, but I hope after reading this chapter Yn's attitude will make more sense, and that she won't be so insufferable anymore to you all reading. Please listen to the fourth song Comatose before or while reading this chapter! Yes, I have totally made Mingi wear his waterbomb outfit in this chapter because waterbomb Mingi shall NEVER be forgotten, goodbye. Please leave feedback, I truly appreciate it! Enjoy now! I have a surprise coming next chapter, hehet^^

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

『I don't care enough to miss you

After all the shit we've been through

My heart's comatose, comatose』

The blinking of the cursor was staring back at me mockingly, a reminder that my fingers haven’t moved in the past ten minutes. No thoughts connected to the theme of my project came to mind, no matter how hard I tried and how many articles I read. My mind seemed to be blank at the moment and it seemed like it wouldn’t get any better anytime soon. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling well. And that usually reflects in my work and influences my whole mood, and even day. I thought I would have a very productive day as I got ready this morning and went to the library to finish my art assignment, however, the little kick I had, came crushing down the second Mingi decided to sit with me. Well, perhaps that one small factor wasn’t the real reason which ruined my mood and brought me to the brink of a panic attack, and the current void and emptiness I have been feeling in my chest ever since. Perhaps it was the mention of Jeong Yunho and the reminder of how little I have always meant to him. My lower lip quivered again, and I allowed myself to fall back in the chair I was sitting in, staring up at my white ceiling in desperation. Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be Yunho again? Was the Universe having a laugh at me? What were the chances that this Song Mingi was the same Song Mingi Yunho never shut up about while we were dating? It was frustrating. It was maddening and it was…mocking. I couldn’t help but feel bitter the longer I allowed the image of Mingi and Yunho laughing, hanging out, falling all over each other, linger in my mind. Their hearts filled with joy and their time spent with endless conversations, late night trips to the convenience store, random road trips and the overall feeling of knowing that you always had one person you could rely on no matter what. What did Mingi have that I didn’t? What did Yunho see in him that he never saw in me? Why was Mingi better than me? And why…was I suddenly feeling this vial jealousy creeping up in my chest like an ugly monster, the whisper of thoughts I have always tried to push to the depths of my mind after Yunho’s sudden, but heartbreaking, departure from my life?

『Straight coats and empty cabinets

Ashes from all the mess you left

New lease without you

I confess that I'm happy you're gone』

What was it about Song Mingi that Yunho was so infatuated with? What was it with Song Mingi that everyone seemed to like and gravitate towards? All I could see was the arrogance and self-centeredness rolling off of him in waves any time he entered a room. The need to shine and be the center of attention, to be the only person anyone was able to see, to focus on. The constant smirk or grin on his lips, almost always mocking or just an awful reminder that he was better than you—it was subtle, but it was there. The mischievous glint in his eyes as he watched your every move, hiding behind a wall of emotionlessness, sharp eyes watching but not giving anything away. There was no honesty in his expressions or in his actions. But why did nobody else see that? Why was I the only one picking up on how insincere Mingi actually was? Why did nobody question what he hid behind those dark and sharp eyes? His face so often void of any emotion. And then, to further prove my confusion, the Mingi I talked to today was—why did he feel different? Everything staring from his appearance to his behavior was unlike the infuriating person I have come to know. He portrayed a calm and collected nature, albeit still mischievous as he had taken my sketchbook without my permission, yet it was so clear on his face that he didn’t have any mal intentions. What prompted him to approach me out of the blue and why did he look almost…lonely? What drew him to smile so much and so freely? It certainly couldn’t have been me; I have done everything I could to make him feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, yet he…stayed. He talked without a care in the world, almost as if he forgot I would be judging his every move and sentence. He almost looked curious of who I was, trying to make conversation in which I did not want to engage in. What was it about Yunho that made his eyes sparkle so much? Why did Yunho have so much of an influence on Mingi? Why did it have to be Mingi? Why does Yunho have to be everywhere around me even after he leaves? Does Yunho really mean that much to Mingi? Just how deep is their bond? But the most jarring thought amidst the spiraling of my mind into a place I did not wish for it to go, was a very simple one. Why do I care about Song Mingi all of a sudden? Why do all these things matter to me all of a sudden? Who is Song Mingi to me to send me into an existential crisis, into a state of nervosity, and restlessness, and so much bitterness? He’s just a guy. A guy who is very irritating, arrogant, self-centered, and a pushover. A guy who only wants attention and is superficial. A guy who forgets about you the second he’s turned his back to you. A guy who only likes you until you’re new and exciting. When you start becoming boring, what does it matter anymore? Why would he keep you around for longer? Perhaps him and Yunho have more in common than I would have thought at first.

『So used to pain that it's my remedy

Easy to hate, I gave you everything

Funny that you're the one that ran away

You left me first』

I couldn’t do this anymore, I had to stop thinking. I needed my brain to shut up, to stop torturing me more than I was already hurting. I refused to reach my breaking point again just because Mingi mentioned that Yunho was his best friend—why was I giving him so much power? Trying to snap out of it, I groaned loudly as I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palms, sitting up straight again to try and focus for the last time on my project. I had to get this done in two days, I really couldn’t slack off anymore. So, I opened the previous tab I was reading from and scrolled up in order to start reading the article from the beginning once again, hoping that the words in it would finally stick. But despite my attempt to finally focus on the only important task at hand, the loud ping of my phone quickly pulled my attention away from it. I jumped at the loud sound and cursed silently, having forgotten to put my phone on ‘do not disturb’. My eyes snapped down to it mildly annoyed, but quickly furrowed when I realized it was a message from an unknown number. I stared at it for a few seconds, eyebrows furrowing in suspicion.

Unknown: are u coming to Outlaw tonight?

Before I could really control myself, curiosity overtook me. It must’ve been someone who knows me since they were asking about Outlaw. They must have seen me there last time.

Me: who’s this? Unknown: mingi lol

My eyebrows instantly furrowed as I stared down at the message, my stomach doing a weird flip. My fingers hovered over the screen of my phone, tempted to just quickly block his number and forget about the past ten seconds, because what the fuck? How did he even get my number? I certainly don’t remember giving it to him.

Me: wtf? how do you have my number. Unknown: wooyoung

I blinked, mind blanching for a second. Wooyoung? That made even less sense as Wooyoung and I have met just once and I have not given him my phone number. I waited for a few seconds longer, waiting for Mingi to explain further, but it never came. No small dots indicating that he was texting anything else. I groaned and looked at my pale green wall for a second, trying to collect my thoughts and not throw my phone out the window. Why did he have to have my number? Was this Mingi’s way of getting on my nerves even more? And now I had to figure out how Wooyoung got my number—oh. I tsked in disbelief, eyes zooning in on the picture of Seulgi and myself I had on display on my desk. Of course, that little bitch. Why would she ask me first before giving my phone number to a complete stranger—even if Mingi wasn’t that, I still didn’t want him to have it.

Me: whatever, i’m blocking you. Unknown: so, are you coming then? Me: no, mingi, i am not.

I rolled my eyes at Mingi’s insistency of getting an answer and blatant ignorance towards my threat of blocking him—which wasn’t as menacing as I wished for it to be. But it only took him seconds to answer, and I tried not to think about how quickly he was responding.

Unknown: ok

My eyes narrowed at his simple—and sharp—answer, fingers hovering over the keyboard to fire an insult at him if he went ahead and started leaving more messages, wanting to remind him that I was not in any shape or form curious to hear any more of his bullshit. The bitterness was quite strong in the back of my head, jealousy searing through my body—I couldn’t help it. A minute or two passed, but Mingi wasn’t typing anything else and I huffed, irritated by his antics. Why was he even asking if I would go to Outlaw? I hated it the first time—well, maybe that was a little lie—and I still hate it now, so therefore I had not one reason to go and watch him perform again. Not one particle in my body wished to hear his raspy voice accompanied by a guitar, bass, and drums. I was quite content by going to bed early tonight and forgetting about the whole day, hoping that my chest would feel less heavy in the morning and the green monster would be gone from my head. And yet, despite my better judgment, my fingers worked quickly, before my mind could even register what I was doing, and I was saving Mingi’s number. There was no desire in me to have his name in my phone under any shape, so I stopped for a second to ponder over the many options I could be calling him, such as: idiot, dumbass, jackass, prick, mr. arrogant—were sounding rather pleasing to my ears—and yet, despite the wicked grin I had on my lips, my mind seemed to settle for a simple ‘I hate him’. His number was saved in my phone without putting more thought into what I was doing, and I was placing my phone aside, attention going back to my project. Now, there was nothing in the world which could disturb me again—but then my phone rang. I groaned loudly and felt like pulling on my hair, staring at my cursed phone heatedly. I was half expecting Mingi’s number to pop-up, but thankfully it wasn’t him. That would’ve been the last straw for today, I certainly would’ve gone crazy. Instead, it was Seulgi calling and I knew she had something important to say if she wasn’t texting. I picked up, albeit with disdain.

“Hey!” She sounded cheerful, excited. Very much the opposite of my mood right now.

“Hi.” I muttered and started tapping my forefinger against my desk, staring down at the article I had opened in front of me.

“You sound like you want to kill someone.”

“And I do.” My answer made Seulgi laugh, making me sigh. And that person was Song Mingi, of course.

“What’s got your panties in a twist this time, huh?” Seulgi’s voice was playful, and unfortunately, it was only building up my irritation. She didn’t have any bad intentions, but I couldn’t handle her cheeriness and playfulness at the moment. I needed to be alone. I needed to not think and just get shit done.

“Why did you call?” I preferred not to answer her question as I asked another one, voice not snappy just tired as Seulgi remained silent for a second on the other end.

“Noir Zenith are performing at Outlaw tonight,” I knew where this was going, I just gulped realizing Mingi had asked the same thing of me just mere minutes ago, “Do you want to come with me?”

“No.” My answer was too fast and harsh, I quickly tried to mend it, “I’ve got a family thing—issue, I mean. I’m sorry, but I can’t come because of it…”

My voice got quiet as I trailed off, not particularly fond of lying to my best friend, but I really didn’t want to go out tonight and I knew if I told Seulgi the real reason she would complain and complain until I finally gave in, her tactic of coercion working just fine on me. I never stood a chance in front of her when she would start complaining and whining and bringing up all the times I have bailed on her in the past.

“Oh,” It wasn’t hard to hear the disappointment in her voice, and if I weren’t in such a bad headspace at the moment I would have felt awful, “it’s fine, I get it. But…you do know you can tell me anything, right?”

I sighed loudly, “I know, thanks Seulgi, and sorry. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

“Don’t worry about it,” She was smiling now, adding a small chuckle too, “We all have bad days, I’ll see you at university tomorrow?”

“Most certainly.” A small smile made it onto my face and Seulgi quickly bid her goodbye as we hung up, silence enveloping me. I didn’t forget to press the ‘do not disturb’ button this time as I placed my phone on my desk, next to my laptop, and faced the article taunting me. Not finishing this project today wasn’t an option anymore, and so, I quickly dove in, the torturing thoughts finally silent somehow.

The hours went by quickly and despite my mind struggling to focus on the task at hand, I made it. I finished the project in about four hours and it definitely gave me a little confidence boost, which I desperately needed after the emotional turmoil I was forced to face today. My mind was a mess. I was tired and I needed to sleep. I didn’t even care how early or late it was as I got into bed, forgetting to wash my face or even change into my pajamas, I just needed to lay my head down and close my eyes. And it was working well…until it wasn’t. The warmth of my thick blanket enveloped me and my head grew heavier as my muscles relaxed, the comfort of my bed bringing peace to my loud thoughts. It felt nice. To finally be able to forget everything that’s happened today, to just let go and…sleep. I really needed this; I haven’t felt this exhausted in a long time. I have never been good at dealing with my feelings, I usually pushed them away and ignored everything I felt…until they blew up in my face. Then, I would finally break and it was chaotic and messy. I knew it was the wrong coping mechanism, but I couldn’t help it. Nothing else worked, because I just couldn’t deal with the pain. I hated the overwhelming thoughts, the pressing heaviness and constant pain. I just simply didn’t want to deal with them. Drawing was a nice way of escaping my reality, but lately it didn’t help. It drew me up the wall, it was so frustrating. So many emotions had been steering hidden deep inside these past weeks, I didn’t know how to deal with them—I didn’t want to deal with them, actually. I needed them silent, gone.

And despite needing to sleep right now, eyes heavy and mind fuzzy, it wasn’t working. Nothing helped. My mind was silent, yet my ears were buzzing, whispers so quiet in the back of my head that I could barely hear them. My chest was heavy, it felt like I needed to cry, but my throat was closing in on me, refusing to let any tears to the surface. I could breathe, but at the same time I couldn’t. Turning on to my left side did nothing, but snap my eyes open. Why couldn’t I sleep? Why was this feeling returning? Why couldn’t I just rest for one fucking second?! I buried my head into my pillow and let out a silent scream, punching the soft mattress of my bed next to my head, legs trashing around as I needed to let out the creeping hysteria in my body somehow. Was I finally going crazy? Was my mother’s premonition finally blending into reality? She did randomly while watching TV, one month ago, tell me that I would soon face a challenging obstacle in my life, which would feel suffocating and relieving at the same time. Mind running per hour, I shot up in a sitting position and gaped at nothing in particular, recalling the memory of said night. But my mother said nothing else as she went back to watching TV, acting as if what she had said to me was totally normal. It wasn’t. But I was used to her quirky antics, she was a bit whimsical, but I loved her. Her intentions were always good and pure, she was a woman full of love and warmth…unlike me. Perhaps I was like my father…not that I could remember him, he’s left us while I was a little girl. We kept in touch until I turned approximately eight, after that…he never showed his face again. Something about moving to a new city and starting a new life, I couldn’t care less, he was never a pilar of support in my life. I didn’t need a man to bring me comfort, to make me feel safe. I had myself for that, and my mother—when things got too rough to handle on my own.

With a sigh, I reached over my bed and grabbed my sketchbook from my bedside table and turned on the small lamp, grabbing the pencil I had from underneath my pillow. Not one corner of my room was safe from my drawing supplies. I flipped the sketchbook open to a blank page and sighed, eyebrows lightly furrowing as I pressed the pencil against the soft paper. I didn’t have anything particular in mind as I started drawing. Maybe a small meadow with colorful flowers or a flower field, those sounded nice right now. It felt like they could fix my sour mood after today, like they would bring a little comfort to my overthinking brain at the moment. But I already knew I couldn’t control my hand when it came to drawing, and I wasn’t too surprised to find myself drawing the outline of a face. The lines were sharp and precise, darker around the brow bone and defining at the sharp and pointy nose. I added shading to the jawline before moving to the cheekbones, not making them too harsh. The sketch so far was looking like any regular face. It could turn into anything from here on. I could make it anyone I wanted it to be. For some reason my hand went to draw the lips instead of the eyes, usually those were the first thing I drew when starting a portrait. But this time, my brain focused on the dark outline of the plump lips and adding more depth as the Cupid’s Bow was deep and pointy. I licked my lips as I allowed my eyes to run over the eyeless portrait, subconsciously adding a small mole to the left side of its face, close to the jawline. I had a hunch where this was going, but I wanted to keep going—I couldn’t stop my brain from pushing me to just draw more. I allowed my pencil to run over the lines of the nose, making them sharper, lengthening it just like the person had it in real life. My hand hovered in the air for a second, reluctant to finally draw the eyes of the portrait, but I didn’t have it in me to stop right now. I always hated leaving my work unfinished—that was my excuse right now too, despite knowing who I was drawing once again. Yet not one particle in my body wished to stop right now, and I couldn’t help it as I finally drew lines sharp enough to accentuate the depth and glare in his deep eyes. The shading of them happened quickly and without even thinking, the small but dark mole sat comfortably underneath his right eye as I pressed my pencil firmly against the paper.

The breath which left my lips was sharp, and I gulped as my grip tightened around my pencil. I knew what I was doing this time, yet I didn’t stop it. Why? Why did I allow myself to draw—Mingi. His sharp and expressionless face stared back at me and I didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t mocking me, he didn’t have any twinkle in his eyes, he was just…there. On my paper, in my favorite journal-like sketchbook. And my heart was beating faster the longer I was looking at it. My stomach was twisting in a foreign way and I felt like I needed air. Fresh air. It felt like my room was closing in on me, I felt like I didn’t have enough space all of a sudden. The blanket falling on my lap suddenly felt too warm, like it was burning my body up. Without a second thought, I threw the sketchbook off from my lap, together with the blanket, and sprung out of bed, racing towards my closet. I threw it open and grabbed the first thing which came into view, a grey oversized jumper, as I stepped out of my slippers and slipped my phone into the pocket of my grey sweatpants, headed for my closed door. My throat was squeezing itself and it was a little hard to breathe as I frantically moved down the stairs, desperate for fresh air at this point. The light was on in the kitchen and I realized it wasn’t even ten pm yet as my mother was tinkering around, listening to some jazz music. I must’ve been loud as I almost crashed into the wall, struggling to put on my sneakers.

“Honey?” I heard my mother’s voice coming from behind me as I turned to look at her. Her ginger hair was a mess as her curls stuck out in all directions, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Everything alright?”

I nodded, fearing what my voice would sound like as I quickly wore the jumper in my hands, “Are you going out? It’s a little late…”

I hummed, licking my lips nervously, hand reaching for the doorknob, “I won’t take long, I promise.”

“Call me if you need me.” My mother had an understanding look on her face, it made my lips tremble, “I’ll pick you up.”

“Didn’t you drink?” My voice was slightly shaking as my eyes went to the wine glass she was holding in her right hand. My mother glanced down at it as if she had forgotten about it and quickly pushed it behind herself.

“We could always ride my electric scooter; I haven’t used it in quite a while.” My mother giggled at her own suggestion and I couldn’t help but let out an amused chuckle, the tightness in my throat lessening a little bit. How badly I wished to pour my heart out to her, to let my feelings finally loose, but I couldn’t. That would mean having to face what I was feeling. That would mean everything was real and not just made up by my useless brain.

“I’ll be home in an hour, don’t worry.” My mother just hummed as she watched me leave as I took my keys and closed the door carefully behind myself. The crisp air of the evening was a harsh wake-up call that I should’ve worn a jacket as well, but I didn’t have it in me to walk back inside my warm house. I couldn’t. I needed to walk. I needed to clear my mind. I had to get rid of this awful feeling in my chest. And so that’s just what I did, I walked. I took off towards nowhere particular as my feet carried me down the sidewalk, the streets illuminated by the lampposts, creating just enough light, but not too much. A few cars passed by then and now, the neighborhood relatively quiet at this hour of the evening. The cold air was biting at my cheeks and I buried my hands in my pockets, taking a deep breath before releasing it slowly. It felt nice as the cold air traveled through my throat, deep down into my lungs. It was refreshing, it was just what I needed. As I took a left turn, I left my neighborhood and realized I was headed towards the city center, more people on the road now as it was the main one. Groups of teenagers passed by me and I shivered at the sudden cold breeze. I looked around and watched as it picked up and blew the branches of the trees apart, more leaves falling to the ground, creating a blanket of orange and burgundy underneath our feet. The leaves crunched under my shoes and I felt myself smiling as I kicked into a smaller pile gathered up on the sidewalk by the wind, memories of my childhood fresh in my mind. My mother would always gather the leaves in our small backyard and then she’d take me outside and we’d play around for hours in the leaves, giggling and laughing as we’d pretend that I was a princess and she was the leaves monster trying to kidnap me from my kingdom. Despite my mother struggling at times, my childhood never lacked anything, and it was filled with many happy memories. Sometimes I wondered what changed that I turned into such a moody and sour person. There were remnants of my old self when I was with Seulgi or with my mother, but I was pretty bad at opening up to strangers, at letting others in…especially males. I couldn’t help but think they had other motives and were only waiting for the right time to fuck me over, to abandon me. My attention was brought to a couple as the girl screeched and ran past me, the boy chasing after her while holding something in his hands, giggling loudly and calling out her name. I couldn’t help but glance after them, the green monster back in my head, as the guy caught up with her and tackled her into a hug despite the girl’s loud complaints. I have realized, the guy was carrying dirt in his hands and the girl’s cheeks were already smudged with it, probably. My stomach clenched and it got harder to gulp as I tore my eyes off them, trying to take a deep breath, trying to push down the memories threatening to resurface.

But I couldn’t help it as Yunho made it to the forefront of my mind, our many dates stored away in a little treasure chest in my heart. We used to go on so many dates, Yunho loved trying out new things and visiting new places. Every second weekend he planned something new, he surprised me with something. I thought I was the luckiest girl on Earth. I thought I would never find anyone else who could love me and cherish me as much as Yunho—and perhaps I really never would. Because Yunho was special, because he made you feel like you were the only one in the whole world he could see, he could love. A small part of me still wished he loved me at some point. Of course, it did, I was so hopelessly in love with him once that everything was about him. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t live without him. He was the only thing I could think about, I could talk about. Everyone told us how well we matched; how perfect we were for each other. The both of us always smiling, always so nice to others. Before getting abandoned by Yunho, I was—I wasn’t like this. I smiled, I laughed, and I joked around a lot. I was happy and I loved life, I loved everything around me and I had this urge to discover everything life had to offer me. I couldn’t stay put in one place for too long and I always had everything planned out, each step of mine—my life next to Yunho. The promises he made were still fresh in my mind, I could still remember them despite being it a long time ago—but perhaps it wasn’t long enough, I have suddenly come to the realization of it. It was hard to breathe again as my favorite moment with Yunho was suddenly too fresh in my mind, too easy to recall. We had gone to a movie he really wished to watch, something about a girl who had to pretend she was a boy in order to make it onto the university’s football team to get revenge on her ex, it was actually a re-run as the movie had come out a long time ago, but Yunho loved it and he really wanted to watch it at the cinema. Of course I went with him, I wanted to see the movie too because Yunho loved it. And what Yunho loved, I also did. It was an easy watch, lighthearted and cheesy and predictable, it didn’t surprise me that it was one of Yunho’s favorites. But once the movie was over Yunho wanted to get ice cream, and as someone who loves ice cream—mint choco is the best flavor, fight me—I was eager to go with Yunho. But our peace of mind didn’t last for long as it started raining cats and dogs in no time, forcing us to take shelter somewhere—except that we didn’t. Yunho pulled me out into the pouring rain and he made us dance, he acted out cheesy scenes from Dirty Dancing, raising me up and flipping me around clumsily, almost dropping me in the process not even once, making me shriek and clutch onto him for dear life. I have never laughed more in my life than that night and I have never felt more loved that in that moment. Yunho’s eyes were shining with so much warmth and happiness, it was also the first time he said the words. ‘I love you.’ I couldn’t tell whether it was the rain or happy tears on my cheeks, but the sudden clenching of my heart and overwhelming feeling in my chest made me flung my body against his, holding onto Yunho’s tall frame like my life depended on it. And in that moment, I knew—I knew that I also loved him. But I couldn’t say it, not yet, not when everything felt like it was too much, so instead, I pressed my lips against his pouty ones and smiled as Yunho started giggling, only to pick me up and twirl me around in excitement before asking me to hop on his back, only for him to take off running towards his house. It was my favorite memory of us, for various reasons, but perhaps the main one was because Yunho was so sincere in that moment. Because I couldn’t hear any doubt in his words like the other times he said that he loved me.

『Straight coats and empty cabinets

Ashes from all the mess you left

New lease without you

I confess that I'm happy you're gone』

I came to a stop as my phone buzzed in my pocket, mind hazy as I tried to shake off the memory which felt so alive in my head. I could almost see it playing out in front of myself. If I reached my hand out, I could almost touch Yunho—but he wasn’t here—and I was allowing myself once again to live in the past, a very bad habit of mine. I unlocked my phone after I crossed the road, the sidewalk littered with various shops, most of them already closed as it was almost ten now. I had been walking for twenty minutes without even realizing it. Looking down at my phone, I realized Instagram had sent me a notification that Seulgi posted a story after a while. She was probably at Outlaw still, watching Noir Zenith perform. I pressed on her story and it opened to show a close-up video of the three boys performing, the camera focusing on Wooyoung for a few seconds longer before it was moved away, zooming in on playfully on Mingi. I had the volume down, I couldn’t hear what he was singing, but his eyebrows were furrowed as he was leaning forward, mouth moving in a fast way as his eyes were half-closed, veins protruding on his neck, expression almost like he was angry, almost like feelings were overwhelming him as he held the microphone in his left hand tightly. My eyebrows slightly furrowed, but I quickly pushed any thought of him away as I realized he was slightly…wet? His white shirt, the top buttons unbuttoned until they reached his chest stuck to his body and had turned almost see-through, but it didn’t seem like it bothered Mingi as he continued on performing. Heavy chains lay against the base of his throat and a blue sheer sunglass was sitting on his tall nose, almost sliding off of it as he was bobbing his head furiously to the music, his bass abandoned somewhere. As my eyes focused on the huge bracelet on his right hand and the blue and white scarf wrapped around his left wrist, both hands decorated with thick silver-colored rings, the video cut off. I remained unblinking for a second, eyebrows twitching as I realized Seulgi had posted the video not even half an hour ago. So…the band was still performing and…Mingi was looking like that. Suddenly I was glad I wasn’t there to witness him being all indecent and acting like a—something. I most certainly wouldn’t hear the endless praises if I were there and the constant screaming of his baboons—perhaps calling them his fangirls would sound nicer, but I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction—and with my current mood, that was the last thing I wanted to see and hear. Mingi was detestable and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of going to any of his other performances, finding them useless as I wasn’t even into their music. I started walking again, aware that the wind had picked up more, rustling the branches and leaves harsher, making me shiver in my underdressed state, reminding me that I should head home now. I said I wouldn’t stay out for too long, my thoughts seemed to have cleared just a little bit, besides, the cold air was enough to knock me out once I got to lay in my warm and comfortable bed.

『I don't care enough to miss you

After all the shit we've been through

My heart's comatose, comatose

I don't care enough to miss you

After all the shit we've been through

My heart's comatose, comatose』

However, the second I wanted to exit the app and put my phone away, a new story suddenly appeared in Seulgi’s spot and I gulped realizing who it was. Yunho’s happy and smiling face was taunting me in his profile picture, and before I could control myself, I pressed the icon, opening his story. The username Yuyu followed by a sunflower flashed for a second on the screen and then—and then everything around me stopped. There was no wind, there was no sound of cars passing by or people talking as they walked by me. It wasn’t cold anymore. My lungs failed me once again, but my mind went silent. Completely silent. There was a rumble in the distance, but I couldn’t say what it was. A girl, much smaller than him—and a lot cuter than myself—was laughing in the boomerang Yunho had posted, her black hair falling around her shoulders nicely, the white coat barely hiding the short lavender colored dress she was wearing. And Yunho—he looked so happy, he looked—whole. His face had gotten fuller, yet features sharper since the last time I had seen him. I have forgotten that I was still following him on Instagram. He had his arm around the girl’s shoulder and was actively pulling her into his side as he was smiling brightly too, his protruding front teeth showing as he had his eyes on the girl only. He had tagged her too and I was clicking on her name fast, before even thinking about what I was doing. Her profile was public and she had many posts. Most of herself, but there were some of the places she’s traveled to as well. But her most recent post—was with Yunho. The two sitting on a bench, then a selfie, and then a picture of the place they had been at, with the caption of: ‘Luckiest girl in the world!’ I gulped and closed the app, taking a deep breath, realizing that I had started shaking.

『You wasted all my fucking time

Were never really in my life

You were further than I could imagine

I love you, but fuck you』

Why did my legs feel like jelly all of a sudden? Why did the heaviness in my chest get even worse? Why was I reacting like this? It made no sense. Yunho broke up with me three years ago and I was over him. He hurt me more than anyone has before, but I was over him. I have let go; I have released the feelings I have felt for him. But then why did it bother me so much that he found happiness with someone else? Why did it leave a bitter taste in my mouth? Suddenly why was the green monster back and making me clutch my phone tightly in my hand? If he was able to find someone, to be happy again, why wasn’t I doing the same thing? Why was I incapable of loving? Of being loved? Of opening up and letting in new people? Why was I forcing myself to wallow in my own misery? Why was I punishing myself by constantly living in the past? What more could I want? Why did I still wish for Yunho to return and apologize for everything he’s done, for the gap he’s left in my heart? For the turmoil he’s caused in my head, for the ache that never really went away with his departure from my life? And it hit me lick a wall of bricks, that something was hitting my flaming cheeks. Another rumble, and I realized it was thunder. Head tilting back, I realized it was raining—pouring. Washing away the tears which were making my eyes burn. When did it start raining? Why did everything hurt so much? I couldn’t help the sudden sob which wracked my body as I put my phone in my pocket as a futile attempt to keep it dry as my clothes were getting drenched the longer I stood unmoving on the sidewalk. But my feet felt heavy, rendering me frozen to the spot. Nobody was outside anymore. I was alone. Just as always. No matter how many people cared for me, I was still alone in hurting, in dealing with the mess I was. And it hurt. It made me cry harder as I pressed a hand against my mouth, trying to muffle my pathetic sobs. But it felt good—so good to finally let it all out, to just finally allow the misery to come to the surface, to acknowledge that I couldn’t deal with these feelings anymore. My chest hurt, my heart ached, my throat was getting more and more restricting, lungs burning for air, but I couldn’t fully breathe, gasping for air caused by my violent sobs. But the wind was picking up again and my body started shivering, and I realized I couldn’t stand on the sidewalk anymore bawling my eyes out as I got drenched in rain.

So, I looked around and found a place open not too far up ahead and took off running towards it, trying to get the strands of hair out of my eyes as they stuck to my skin. The diner was small and still open, the big windows showed nobody inside besides the girl behind the counter. I didn’t consider the way I looked as I threw the door open and stepped inside, alerting the girl as the doorbell chimed. She looked up and for a second we stared at each other, her eyes widening as her eyes wandered all over my body, making me sniff. At least I wasn’t sobbing anymore, just heaving for air. I must’ve looked horrible as I took off towards a table in the back, closer to the restrooms, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel embarrassed over my appearance. I fell against the cushion of the bench and tried to regulate my breathing, biting my lower lip as I realized my eyes were burning and my skin was ice cold. I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to stand out in the rain, when it was so cold. I would most definitely catch a cold now and that was the last thing I needed right now, but it was due to my own stupidity. I wiped my face with my hands, which were slightly shaking, as the girl from the counter came over.

“Uh,” She shuffled around awkwardly as I looked at her, “Can I bring you anything? Or uh, help with anything?”

A slap in the face to wake me up to reality would possibly be the biggest help she could be offering right now—but I thankfully didn’t say to her. She already looked uncomfortable by not knowing how to react to my current state. I sniffed and went to reach for my wallet before I would look at the menu, I had no idea how much money I had on me. But I quickly realized I had only grabbed my phone before leaving, sitting inside a diner never being in the plan. So instead I went to check on my phone if I had any money on my card, but my phone wasn’t working. Nothing. No matter how much I pressed the button to start it, it didn’t work. Fuck, I forgot to charge it before stepping outside.

“Uh,” Now I felt embarrassed as I averted my eyes from the girl, “I don’t have any money.”

“Oh,” She sounded surprised, “Well, then…I mean, I don’t want to sound rude, but uh—I will have to ask you to leave, really, I have nothing against you, it’s just that—”

“Don’t worry,” I forced myself to smile as I looked up at her, her cheeks red from embarrassment of having to kick me out, “I get it. May I use the restroom before I leave?”

“Sure, of course!” The girl almost exclaimed as she pointed towards the little hallway which led to the restrooms, “But we’ll be closing in about fifteen minutes, so don’t stay inside for too long.”

“Yeah, I’ll just patch myself up a bit and then go on my way.” I muttered as the girl nodded silently and walked back to the counter while carefully watching me, making me roll my eyes. Okay, I might have been looking like a mess, but I wasn’t a walking bomb—no need for her careful gaze on me. It just made my blood boil as I tried not to stomp while I went inside the restroom, glad that I was alone inside. It was colder in here compared to the diner and I shivered as I realized the window was open. I headed towards the sink, eager to warm up my hands with a little warm water, but I gasped once I saw my reflections in the mirror. Jesus Christ, I looked horrible, no wonder the girl was looking at me like that and asking me to leave—even if the reason was me not having money on me. My hair stuck to my face and looked matted in certain spots. My cheeks were completely flushed with the tip of my nose red as well, and I had dark streaks running down underneath my eyes. I forgot to take off my eyeliner and mascara before going to bed and since they weren’t waterproof—here I was, looking like a character straight out of a fucking horror movie. I chuckled as I turned on the faucet and instantly sighed at the feeling of warm water against my hands, warming my freezing limbs a bit. I quickly gathered water in my palms and splashed it against my cheeks, warming them up as well, sighing in content. I was still shivering, my toes frozen, but this was helping.

『I don't care enough to miss you

After all the shit we've been through

My heart's comatose, comatose』

I let the warm water run as I ran my fingers through my hair, easing the knots in them and trying to make it look presentable as I basically brushed the wet strands back on my head, my hair already curling naturally. The next step was to get rid of the mascara and eyeliner streaks underneath my eyes and even cheek, so I quickly washed them off before turning the faucet off and grabbing some dry towel paper from the holder, drying off my face and hands. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, realizing that my chest felt so much lighter, there was nothing squeezing against my throat anymore.

“You’re fine,” I whispered to myself, gulping, “Fuck, you’ve got this, you’re okay, Y/N, you are okay. You’ve been pushing your feelings away for too long, of course they blew up in your face, you stupid bitch. I really have to stop doing this to myself, ugh—”

I rolled my eyes as I threw the used towel paper in the trash bin and then looked back at myself in the mirror, narrowing my eyes at myself and pointing a finger threateningly at my reflection, “Stop being a sappy bitch, alright? You’re better than this. Yunho’s got his shit together, why can’t you do the same, huh? Just go out there and find a fucking boyfriend, it’s not that hard—wait, no, actually don’t do that! I don’t need no man, got it? Got it.”

I nodded once firmly, a small grin forcing itself onto my lips, making me scoff at myself—sure, of course, bring Yunho into your peptalk, Y/N, very smart—but I just couldn’t help it. At least I was feeling better now, almost laughing at myself at how stupid I was as I stepped back and pulled my shoulders back, nodding at myself encouragingly. I got this! But now I had to run home in the pouring rain, that thought alone was enough to make me cry again, but I willed myself to stop. No more crying. No more sobbing—especially not because of the pouring rain. It was my mistake that I didn’t check the weather or bring an umbrella. I should’ve just gone to bed when I planned to, damn these stupid thoughts. With a last glance at myself, I decided that I was ready to leave the restroom and head home, my mother probably worried sick about me at this point since my phone wasn’t working either. I walked up to the door and grabbed the doorknob firmly, yanking it open a little bit too enthusiastically, but as I went to step outside, the male’s restroom door right across mine opened as well—and I paused, surprised.

Song Mingi was staring back at me just as surprised as I was.

❱❱ Next chapter

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