#omg guys anyone else have this experience AHHHHH

[balladofthelamb]

i fear there will be no permanent escape from the damage self image issues and an eating disorder have ravaged on my brain 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

[a-e-redacted]

Yello, idk if you are gonna see this but, OMG I AM SO GLAD THIS STORY EXISTS... but if you don't mind ima say some stuff to you because I have no one else oki :)

So basically we still don't know anything about the collector from basically before belos, and I think the collector was not only metally abused but also physicaly abused because of the freezing, flinching, and just freaking out, which belos couldn't not have done if they were in the mirror. Then collector also still is fine with titans I mean they are fascinated by them, so I don't think kings dad did it. So their is only one option left the "archives" I hate those guys. I mean it's a theroy but it would make sense because the collector hasn't even brought them up yet and freaks out when asked about it. I just want to know more yipeeeee

Also but idk would the collector have scars or something like eda on her hand. I mean it's probably just that they feel bad about it, orrrrrrrrr it could have been sometime that happened to them and they don't want to be like "someone else" that "lied or betrayed" they haven't talked about. I would imagine that those scars would be on the upper are or sometime hidden by their sleeves.

IDK I THINK IM JUST TRIPPING, HELP I WANT TO KNOW I AM SO OBSESSED WITH THISSS OMG AHHHHH. thanks for listening if you see this byeeeeee.

Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts! It makes me really happy that people are excited and enthusiastic about MoonShadow.

When I was drafting out the first couple of arcs, it was in the months following King’s Tide and we had very little canonical information on The Collector’s history to draw from. I purposefully left their backstory vague when I started writing the fic in case I decided to incorporate more of canon into the story.

I had a few rather nebulous ideas about The Collector’s past, which did end up being similar to some of what we learned in canon. However there were enough different things that I continued with my original ideas and settled comfortably into MoonShadow being an AU. So the Archivists, while they or beings somewhat like them may exist in this AU in some capacity, they don’t play the same role in The Collector’s story.

While Philip may not have been able to physically touch The Collector, he still instilled a lot of behaviors and responses in them with the mental and emotional tools he had at his disposal. So The Collector may not have physical scars, but their experiences with Philip cut deep, and Philip knows better than anyone how to manipulate them.

The worst part is The Collector really had difficulty telling when someone is lying to them. Hence their extreme switch to just believing EVERYONE across the board is lying, because it’s the “safer” assumption.

Thanks again for reading! I really hope to get Chapter 40 up next weekend.

[billy-crudup]

why do you want bradley to be with the guy who not only outed her but invited her girlfriend to cohost knowing damn well news were gonna break while they were on air?

ahhhhh, this is the ask i’ve been waiting for. buckle up, bc i have A LOT of thoughts, and there’s much to unpack here.

let me just begin with saying that i ship bradley and cory from season 1. since i haven’t trusted anyone in the show when i started watching, it happened gradually, and by the end i was fully shipping them. even then, i already saw a few people being negative about the ship on twitter, but i kinda just ignored it. it was mostly about how they shouldn’t be together since cory is bradley’s boss, and it’s an unhealthy dynamic, which goes against everything the show stands for. i completely disagree with the last bit here, since the show IS about complicated workplace dynamics and NAVIGATING them, healthy or not. despite that, i can’t really imagine them together while they both still work at UBA. so in order for that to work out, one or both should leave.

when it comes to the outing itself, let me note that i do not excuse or approve of cory’s decisions. it’s very important to keep in mind while reading my whole rant. i really hate what he did, i truly do, and i wish it didn’t happen. he literally took her own right to come out and it’s very upsetting. yet, the betrayal had to take place, in order for his character to develop and have a proper arc, but i wish it was something else. at this point, i just hope that cory owns up to what he did, and learns from it. and tells bradley about it, of course. he still has a long way to go before he can be with her anyways.

all the accusations of bradley/cory shippers ‘hurting the gay community’ are crazy to say the least. i do understand why some people hate the ship and can be triggered by what cory did, it makes a lot of sense. outing someone is a very harmful thing to do, and can literally fuck up their whole lives (but lets remember though, that this is a tv show we’re talking about, and a couple of fictional characters, not the lgbt community overall). it’s important to note that I’m am straight woman, who has plenty of lgbt friends and did a course of gender and sexuality studies in university, as it’s something that i find very interesting. speaking of lgbt people in my life who have watched the show, a few can’t forgive cory for what he did, and are against him being with bradley, but many of them still ship them. because of my sexuality, i don’t think it’s my place to tell whether bradley should forgive him or not. there are a lot of opinions out there, and i just think you can’t generalize by saying we as a whole are ‘hurting’ the gay community, since, there are lgbt people out there who ship cory/bradley too. what i’m saying is, if all lgbt people ik in my life/saw online would hate bradley/cory i would look at it very differently. but it’s just not the case here. just bc you wouldn’t be able to forgive cory, doesn’t mean that no queer person would. the story the writers tell us doesn’t have to fit any specific set of morals. and also people are literally saying, omg cory destroyed her life blah blah blah, but did he, really? i mean, of course, it is extremely traumatizing to be outed and it’s a very sensitive topic. it can turn people’s lives upside down. but tms didn’t really explore that. they didn’t show enough consequences for bradley. her brother already knew, and she doesn’t seem to care about her mom at all. bradley seemed so upset and embarrassed, i genuinely felt horrible watching those scenes in ep6 and just wanted to hug her. but later i asked myself, how would these scenes be any different if some other information about her private life would be leaked? just smth to think about. i wish the writers would have touched on the consequences of the outing more, but they didn’t - they didn’t explore how bradley got traumatized by this whole experience at all. and the outing itself wasn’t even mentioned in the last 4 eps (apart from cory trying to confess), it’s like everyone has forgot it even happened.... still shocked that alex never found out tbh. one of the most important things for me in people are their intentions. that’s how i judge them, both in fiction and irl. cory wanted to keep hannah’s name clean first and foremost, not to out bradley. it doesn’t make it okay or the right decision, but he was stuck. if cory didn’t keep his promise about hannah, bradley would probably never forgive him. but he also genuinely wanted to do right by hannah. cory felt a very strong responsibility for her without even knowing her, because her dad was not able to protect her. one of tms’ writers scott troy confirmed in a tweet that the hannah situation was personal for cory because his dad was never there for him too. cory did not wish to purposefully harm bradley. the decision he made didn’t come from a malicious place. he is neither abusive nor predatory. did he fuck up big time while having ‘good’ intentions? he sure did, and it’s clearly bothering him. but also he doesn’t expect anything from bradley, he doesn’t expect her to forgive him, or to return his feelings. he just wants to be there for her and cares about her deeply, despite what he did earlier.  here is where i’m pulling all my receipts, since a lot of people for some reason think cory outed bradley bc he’s jealous of laura and wants to destroy their relationship or whatever. here’s what billy crudup said in THR interviews: «But what [Cory] did guess was that the preservation of Hannah’s legacy, as far as he could tell, was most ensured by something salacious. And he didn’t suspect that there would be any lasting consequences for anybody who was involved in this salacious information, and so he made a guess.» this pretty much confirms that cory has 0 brain cells, it’s very unfortunate that he at the time did not understand how much it can hurt bradley. this clown literally had no idea what he was doing.... also there’s this bit in another newer THR article: «[Cory has] been a caretaker in a way. What he was really concerned about was the well-being of this precious person to him and being able to articulate that that was also him being in love with her, it would have been impossible until that moment. I don’t think that was the motivation for him trying to undermine her relationship with Laura.” i think billy said it all tbh. this confirms that he wants what’s best for bradley, despite what he did. sometimes we do terrible things to the people we love, and we later regret it. again, let me clarify, that i’m not defending what cory did, but merely explaining. i’ve seen so many people see cory in a completely different light, and if i saw him that way too, i would never ship him with bradley.

also can i just say that i don’t hate laura (bc some twitter stans are convinced that cory/bradley shippers hate her???). i actually think she’s pretty cool and is good for bradley at the given moment. bradley needed her in order to develop as a character, and i’m happy laura could provide that for her. i don’t really see them ending up together for many reasons. i just think that laura needs someone as emotionally mature as her, and not as chaotic as bradley. and that she can offer so much to bradley and guide her, but bradley can’t give much back in return. and also bc laura wants bradley to be a certain way (confirmed by reese in an interview), as opposed to cory, who accepts her and loves her (unconditionally) the way she is. again, this is just my opinion. and also tms is about morally gray characters, and i find it hilarious every time i see someone call laura ‘perfect’ or ‘the best character on tv right now’. none of them are perfect guys, they all have flaws, and thats the whole point.

i’m going to end this rant of mine by saying how disappointed i am by this fandom overall. tms is by far the most toxic fandom i’ve ever been in. and here, i’m mostly talking about twitter people. tumblr is a safe space for me, i have a lot of friends and mutuals here who support me, and we developed our own community. i sometimes go on reddit to read all the discussions too, people are also keeping it respectful there. but hell is empty, and all the demons are on twitter!  i really don’t get how can someone possibly attack and cancel another person online bc of a ship/smth fictional??? and without knowing anything about them? like some random people said that i ‘excuse’ cory or whatever bc i stan billy crudup fghdjksfg like IM NOT MAKING THIS UP…… or that i am disgusting, homophobic, hurting the gay community, hate women, should be in jail etc etc…… people who know me, who truly know me, are certain that i am none of those things, and so am i. since i try to treat everyone with kindness and compassion, this is smth that i truly can’t wrap my head around. i’ve been minding my own business and trying to have a good time, making gifs and videos, but i still get plenty of hate bc of a ship. A SHIP!!! AND the fact that the writers and the smm had to deal with all the bullying and death threats is insane, i feel so incredibly sorry for them. like their smm hasn’t posted anything about cory in over a month bc of this. look, there are plenty of fictional characters i can’t stand too, but you don’t see me tweeting about it, or making posts, or commenting about it under someone else’s work. if you’re that obsessed with a fictional character/ship that you resort to harassing people online, including the writers, then you need to get a life and go to therapy. i acknowledge that what cory did is highly problematic bc of what he did, BUT THIS IS FICTION. and just like real people, fictional characters fuck up, and it doesn’t make them unforgivable or unlovable. you can disagree and disapprove of stuff a character has done, and still find them compelling. and i should be able to enjoy fiction without being told that i’m an awful human being because of who i like and what i ship. and this whole purity culture is very messed up, so many people don’t understand that a lot of things are not as black and white as they seem. especially in tms, where there is so much moral ambiguity. at the end, i really think that it doesn’t matter if you agree with me or not, or what you think about the ship. what important is understanding why certain people think the way you do, and simply respecting them. if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. it’s not too much to ask.

[alpacaparkaseok]

ahhhh i’m hitting next what’s gonna happen Question Hitman Hoseok better not do anything bad !!!!

ch. 7

WAHHHH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONOONONONONON B IM ONLY ON THE FIRST LINE AHHHHH IT’S JUST GETTING WORSE QUESTIONABLE HITMAN HOSEOK IM SO PISSED AT YOU poor jimin oh my god ohmygodohmygod b what’s happening i feel so bad for jimin this is traumatic i mean i feel bad for all of them they all love y/n DEAD?!?!?!? she isn’t dead no no that wouldn’t make sense she isn’t dead right jungkook :(((( GIRLBOSS Y/N BREATHE PLEASE

oh screw you mr bianchi I’m being sfw bc this is b’s blog and i will be respectful but we’re gonna have words later sir

okay so is this part of the plan or are yoongi and hobi turning on y/n what’s happening b what’s happening

oh my god lambo boy tae is gonna lose it when he sees y/n this is bad

wait what ?? okay lambo boy isn’t freaking out

ohhhhh we know alexandra ???

IM SO CONFUSED B PLS RELIEVE ME OF THIS TORTURE

omg mystery man yoongi and crazy fire man jin banter is everything crazy fire man jin ily

oh my god i love the banter but PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT’S HAPPENING SOMEONE ANYONE I’LL TAKE CRAZY FIRE MAN JIN

was she wearing a bulletproof vest or something ?? are they staging her death ??? these are my only predictions but like i don’t know i don’t know i don’t understand well wait maybe they’re trying to make girlboss y/n’s mafia look weak ??? throw them off the scent ?? idk idk back to reading

YESSS JIMIN GET QUESTIONABLE HITMAN HOSEOK but i do think we can trust him i just think this is very attractive of you anyways~ omg questionable hitman hoseok you taking down jimin is also a little attractive but more importantly EXPLAIN YOURSELF

you know i’ve been saying these boys have got it bad but i think it’s me i’m the one who’s got it bad

okay sigh of relief blood bullet ?!?!?! omg fancy this pill is fancy too omg

HE DOESN’T FEEL COLD :(((( (crazy fire man jin) omg poor jinnie :(((

THEY STAGED HER DEATH

girl boss y/n you hurt jimin’s feelings !!!!! i’m being unfair jimin needs a silly nickname too i’ll think on this

AHHHH WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO GIRLBOSS Y/N SWEETHEART ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! SO IT’S JIMIN ???? AND JIMIN STEALS ME BACK AGAIN AHHHHHHHHHH

wait… what ?? the amount of time i’ve done this already what ?!?!?!

these cliffhangers b omg

commentary

i’m so confused b i reread the kiss scene like three times it’s gotta be jimin so WHO is calling girl boss y/n “sweetheart” in the woods HUH??? WHO??? that’s enough commentary for now i gotta keep reading you’re too good at this

the fact that you were only on the first line 😂

but honestly though, poor jimin & everyone else. he really is traumatized by this experience moving forward.

hahaha I'm sure you could terrify Bianchi if given the opportunity, I have no doubt about it

hahaha I've literally just laughed out loud so many times reading this. the whole "Lambo boy is gonna be so mad - oh wait. he's not mad"

the conflicted "jimin and hobi are fighting and it's so attractive" is pure gold

ah, the kiss scene. the stranger in the woods. I'm now realizing everything I've put you guys through

I'm not sorry tho

[xxxmidnightmasqueradexxx]

Persona 5 Ship Rankings Part 1 {{This is gonna be a long one, so I’m only going over one shipping here, the rest will come later.}}

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: All of this is just my persona opinion! I am not looking to start up any debates or otherwise. So I respectfully ask that you DON’T try and start anything with me. I just want to talk about my favorite/liked/disliked ships in peace. Thank you~ ALSO WARNING! THERE IS BOUND TO BE SPOILERS SO YEH! {{I will be pulling up interactions of said characters from both the game and anime for certain ships, so expect spoilers for both the game and anime!}}

Here I shall discuss the ship Akiren/Ryuji {{Note that this is mostly all speculation, seeing hints, context clues, subtext and what not. I’m not trying to push this ship onto anyone or say that it’s actually canon. I’m just saying I believe that there’s something there and that it’s my personal canon. but it doesn’t have to be yours.}}

Akiren/Ryuji: 

I cannot rank this ship with numbers alone, because this ship just sails itself in both the Anime and In The Game. There’s just so much subtext for these two that’s led me to believe that they’re endgame. However if you must know what number rank I’d give them... 

I give them an infinity outta infinity and beyond.

Hoo boy! Strap in everyone cause this is gonna be a LONG one! In this essay I shall tell you all exactly why I believe personally that Akiren/Ryuji is actually the endgame Persona 5 ship! 

Of course you don’t have to agree but just hear me out! For starters Akiren and Ryuji meet under the most bizarre of circumstances. They start out as strangers thrust into a life or death situation after unknowingly stumbling into Kamoshida’s Palace. 

While there, Ryuji shows just how much he cares for Akiren’s well being, despite them being literal strangers! Ryuji immediately asks Akiren if he’s alright upon waking up, and it’s shown by his tone of voice and facial expression that he’s genuinely concerned for Akiren. 

Akiren at this point in time can also ask Ryuji if he’s alright as well, which Ryuji replies more or less to. Then not even a few minutes later, Kamoshida comes in and sentences the both of them to death. Ryuji is understandably terrified, and claims he doesn’t want to die. However despite not wanting to die, he does show that he’s willing to do so, if it means Akiren can escape with his life. 

He even orders him to run. So yes, even though Ryuji doesn’t WANT to die, and he states in terror he doesn’t want to, he was willing to die all the same. Anyone in their right mind faced with a life and death situation would also say they don’t wanna die, even if they know that dying meant that there was a chance someone else could live.

Akiren upon seeing Ryuji’s life in peril, and after watching him get tortured by Kamoshida, literally gets so fucking pissed off that he stands up to Kamoshida therefore becoming a threat to him. This in turn helps Akiren awaken to his Persona. Akiren awoke to his Persona because of his desire to save Ryuji.

 Akiren stood up to Kamoshida to save Ryuji’s life, not because Kamoshida had wronged him personally, it was all to save Ryuji and that just speaks volumes to me. Because every other team mate that The Phantom Thieves gain, always awakens because they have a personal score to settle with A Palace Leader. 

It’s never anything as grand as desiring to protect The already existing members of The Phantom Thieves. But here, Akiren has no personal connection with Kamoshida, he’s only heard of him being this supposed perverted teacher who preys on innocent Students who can’t fight back. Akiren’s reasoning for standing against Kamoshida was as simple as not being able to ignore that someone’s life -Ryuji’s- was in danger, and acting upon it. 

{{I LITERALLY CANNOT TELL YOU JUST HOW MANY TIMES I’VE REPLAYED THIS SCENE! JUST TO WATCH AKIREN AWAKEN TO ARSENE, JUST SO HE CAN KICK SOME SHADOW ASS TO SAVE RYUJI FROM CERTAIN DEATH. LIKE FUCKING YES! AKIREN! YOU SAVE THAT BEAUTIFUL BLONDE BOY! YOU SAVE HIM AND YOU SAVE HIM GOOD!}}

After that, the two of them blindly rush off into the Palace with one another, trying to find an exit. Ryuji also shows his concern during this little segment, when they’re jumping over rushing water, telling Akiren that he better not fall while they’re crossing over the water.

Then they meet a curious feline named Morgana, whom helps them escape from Kamoshida’s Palace. Afterwards, Ryuji and Akiren become unlikely friends, pulled together by an experience only they could relate to.

Ryuji asks Akiren to meet him on the roof of the School, and there, they talk about what happened. In the end Ryuji tries to brush it all off as some weird-ass dream. But he still thanks Akiren for saving him from Kamoshida even if it was just a ‘dream’.

Ryuji also doesn’t give a damn about all these rumors spreading around Akiren, and wants to be friends. 

{{Speaking of later on after Akiren tells Ryuji what actually happened that landed him in probation, Ryuji is visibly upset at this.-In the Anime he actually sheds tears upon hearing what happened- And in game he’s also upset, to the point where he raises his voice in anger upon knowing what was done to Akiren.}}

Eventually Ryuji and Akiren both go back into Kamoshida’s Palace, upon which they reunite with Morgana. While in the Palace, Akiren waits for Ryuji to memorize the faces of the Cognitive students that are being abused by Kamoshida’s Shadow, which means the real Kamoshida is abusing the real students in the School too. 

One event leads to another, and we get to a point that Akiren and Morgana are rendered helpless upon the ground, about to be killed. During this event, Akiren speaks out, telling Ryuji to stand up for himself, to not allow himself to give into hopelessness. 

To rise against Kamoshida, an adult who has abused, oppressed, and hurt Ryuji and caused everyone to label Ryuji as a problem child. Causing everyone to label Ryuji as the track traitor, caused the entire School and most of the Teachers to dislike Ryuji in general.

Ryuji finally gets to his feet and stands up against Kamoshida,not only because of what Kamoshida has done to him, but also because---

Akiren is about to be killed by a Shadow. 

The Shadow is about to bring its sword down upon Akiren. Ryuji literally fucking woke to his Persona to save Akiren and---

That’s just fucking beautiful man.

Watching Ryuji awaken to Captain Kidd, to save the guy he now considers his best friend, even though they’ve only known one another for a short while is just-

BLESSED CONTENT.

{{LIKE EFF YA, RYUJI! YOU AWAKEN TO CAPTAIN KIDD TO SAVE YOUR BEST FRIEND AND KICK SOME ASS! FUCK THEM ALL UP YOU BEAUTIFUL REBELLIOUS SUNSHINE BOY! SHOW THEM WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY THREATEN THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT!}}

 No other teammates have awoken to their Personas to save the other, besides Akiren and Ryuji. Both of them awoke to their Personas to save each other, and you don’t see that in ANY other awakenings. The other awakenings are all about the other Phantom Thief members standing up to the unjust treatments of the Palace rulers towards them and in Ann’s sake -other people she cares about-. 

Other than that you don’t really see any of the other Phantom Thieves waking to their Persona to save one another. Akiren and Ryuji are probably the only examples of this through the entire game/anime and they’re still just fresh friends at this point. 

If THIS doesn’t speak volumes about how much Akiren and Ryuji have come to care for one another, then I don’t know what fucking does. Doesn’t it seem like the start of a romance to you? 

Because this just parallels the start of so many romantic stories. Two strangers coming together, both of them being cast out by society, both of them coming together and facing death defying odds and doing incredible feats to save one another.

{{Also not to mention it’s adorable how when Ryuji and Akiren go get some food, Ryuji puts more food on Akiren’s plate after he notices Akiren’s barely touched his food. And even when Akiren assures him he can do that himself, Ryuji insists that he has to TREAT him, to thank him.}}

{{Oh and this little animation of Ryuji having to touch Akiren as they open a treasure chest together.. like OMG HOW ARE THEY THIS FUCKING ADORABLE?!}}

Anyways through the course of the anime/game, Akiren and Ryuji’s friendship just deepens even more. Especially during the game in Ryuji’s confidant ranks he’s always saying how cool Akiren is. Complimenting him, and saying the cutest fucking shit like he feels free whenever he’s talking to Akiren. 

Thanking Akiren whenever he gets the chance, like Ryuji literally thanks Akiren all the time. So much to the point it’s nearly god damn ridiculous the amount of times Ryuji thanks Akiren. Also just the fact that in game Akiren is given the option to square down with the former Track Team while they’re shit talking Ryuji is just... AHHHHH it warms my heart. 

There’s just so many instances in game while Akiren is hanging out with Ryuji, that Ryuji will just suddenly say something so fucking heartfelt out of the god damn blue. Once Ryuji is maxed out, he tells Akiren that if he EVER needs help with anything EVER- that he’s there for him. That he has his back no matter what. 

Like there’s this one instance where Ryuji tells Akiren that he found his place next to him. And then he’s like: Huh... I guess your place is next to me...

And then seriously...

During one of their hangouts, right before Ryuji and Akiren go for a ride on an attraction, Akiren has the option to tell Ryuji to go by himself. 

And what is Ryuji’s reaction to that?! 

“What are you scared? Don’t worry I’ll protect ya...wait... that came out wrong. Hey there’s a ton of couples around here. I wonder what they think when they see us?” - Ryuji

^^^ That’s right, he’s immediately embarrassed by what he’s said, and his mind then IMMEDIATELY jumps to the fact that there’s so many couples around them and he’s asking Akiren what they might be THINKING seeing them here together. Why would his mind even be thinking about the couples around them for? 

My best guess would be he’s wondering if the couples around him think that he and Akiren are a couple. And even upon thinking that, he seems totally chill with it. Like he doesn’t really give a damn if they do or not. Honestly I think Ryuji just wanted to see what Akiren thought. Ryuji wanted to know if he was bothered by the fact that the other couples could potentially see them as a pair.

Also right before the end of the game if Akiren says that there’s nothing to see in his hometown, Ryuji will remark: What are you talking about? You’re there. - 

AND IF THAT AIN’T THE GOD DAMN CUTEST FUCKING THING AHHH----

Anyways back to all the subtext that happens in the main story. Right after they take down Kamoshida, and go to the restaurant, there’s a choice for Akiren to say he’s so happy. And Ryuji says that it’s cute hearing him say something like that. 

Right after that, Akiren, Ryuji and Morgana all need to go find a bathroom because they over ate. Then Shido -the uncle Ian looking ass motherfucker- comes by and is being a snobby ass bitch. Akiren has the choice to demand that he and his posse apologize to Ryuji. 

After he leaves though, Akiren realizes Shido’s voice is familiar to him, but he can’t place it just yet. Ryuji at that point turns to Akiren and takes notice that something is up with him. And if Akiren says he’s feeling lightheaded, Ryuji will look concerned and say: You not feelin’ good? - In a very concerned tone, like...he’s just so worried cause his best friend is telling him he’s feeling lightheaded and not feeling well.-

But then Morgana, not really knowing why Akiren isn’t feeling well, will pipe up and just say it’s probably because neither of them eat well, and this will soothe Ryuji’s worries, because from what he knows of Akiren, it makes sense that he might not feel well at all after over eating when he doesn’t eat enough.

Ryuji is also super physically affectionate with Akiren, in the anime there’s a lot of instances where Ryuji will be touching Akiren. Either his shoulder with his hand, or he’ll drape his arm over his shoulders and pull him close to him, or he’ll press his shoulder against his. 

Especially the scene in the bathhouse.

But you’re probably thinking in the anime Akiren says: “Don’t touch me” 

However I think it’s so obvious that Akiren said it because he’s bashful. Ryuji literally pressed up against him with no warning, while they’re both in a tub together. 

How can that not be awkward and embarrassing for Akiren, who has been presented as someone who is very socially awkward? Like he’s seriously just a god damn shy nerd that really only shows off his more confident and sassy side when he’s acting as the Leader of The Phantom Thieves.

They’re in reality, so right then Akiren isn’t the bad ass, suave Leader of The Phantom Thieves, he’s just the shy and awkward nerdy Akiren of reality.

So yes, Akiren might have told Ryuji NOT to touch him, but given all the context and subtext, it’s obvious he’s just shying away from being touched out of the blue like that.

-Also Akiren was totally fine with Ryuji touching him before that, he didn’t mind all the physical contact. So for him to suddenly be “disgusted” by Ryuji touching him in the tub makes no damn sense. Akiren didn’t mind all the other times Ryuji’s been physically close to him. 

So yeh, Akiren didn’t tell Ryuji not to touch him because he was disgusted, he was just surprised. Anyone would be if their best friend just pressed up against them without warning while they were in a bath house together.-

Speaking of other physical contact they’ve had:

There’s that scene in the anime where Akiren and Ryuji’s hands linger for just a few seconds together in Sae’s Palace, right before Akiren takes the suitcase, and leaves either to pull of one of the greatest acts of deceit, or to his death. And even if Ryuji says: I’m sure you’re not gonna die

The fact that his hand lingers there against Akiren’s prove his unspoken worry for him.

And then when Akiren arrives back at Leblanc? Who is there by his side first? Ryuji. He pulls him into a one-armed side hug. So happy to see him back and safe.

{{Also I will never get over the fact that Ryuji calls Akiren by Renren in the anime quite often. Also this nickname he gave to Ren he gave it to Ren really early on in the anime. It’s like a god damn pet name that a person would give to the person of their affections. So to hear Ryuji cry out “Renren” with utter joy in the anime, and rush over to him upon coming back.... is just...GAH MY FUCKING HEART IT’S SO FULL OF RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES IT’S TOO CUTE!}}

Ryuji always seems to need to be touching Akiren, like, he just needs to touch him at certain times. Like he just can’t help himself.

Oh and let’s not forget about the Hawaii trip and the gay implications in the game about Akiren that happen there.

What happens with the Hawaii trip? If Akiren -in game- doesn’t show any interests towards girls. Ryuji -in the game- will ask Akiren what kind of guys he likes. And this is no mistake, because he asks it twice. First he gets interrupted by Yuuki {{Mishima}} because he’s gotten himself sick by drinking tap water. And so he says it again. 

Oh and during the school Festival, Akiren has the chance to yell to everyone he loves Ryuji. And during that moment, you can hear the 3 note happy jingle that plays when Akiren makes a confidant happy. So it heavily implies that Ryuji was secretly happy to know that Akiren was gonna say something like that. But true to Ryuji form, he would die of sheer embarrassment if Akiren shouted that in front of everyone.

Then there’s the time they’re all in Destinyland, and they’re watching the fireworks.

Yusuke says the scenery is quite beautiful. 

Akiren turns to look at Ryuji - Right as Futaba playfully says this in response to Yusuke: “But it’s not as beautiful as you!” isn’t that what couples would say to one another?

Ryuji also then turns to look at Akiren after Futaba says that.

THEY’RE LEGIT LOOKING AT ONE ANOTHER! WHILE THIS TALK OF COUPLES AND BEING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING ON! 

LIKE?!?!? UH------??!!?

ATLUS EXCUSE ME?!?! AT THIS POINT YOU’RE NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE ABOUT IT ANYMORE!

Anyways lets get to late game stuff. 

Like take for example- Ryuji calling up Akiren right before they take Shido down -in game- Ryuji seemed to want to tell Akiren something over the phone. But he stops himself and says never mind. 

He’s like: “Hey Akiren... once we change Shido’s heart...no, nevermind, forget it.”

And then the phone call ends...

It’s like...RYUJI! WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY RYUJI!? TELL US RYUJI!

I don’t care who you are THAT phone call sounded like the start of a confession that Ryuji didn’t end up following through with.

Seriously there’s just so much content for these two, that it’s hard to deny that they’ve a strong bond with one another. From Ryuji defending Akiren from Makoto, saying that Akiren is an upstanding guy, to Ryuji being SERIOUSLY protective over Akiren whenever someone wrongs him.

There’s so many instances where Ryuji will yell at people that have treated Akiren unfairly. 

Take Shido for example before the battle in game, Ryuji literally states: OUR LEADER’S GONE THROUGH SHIT, CAUSE OF YOU! IT’S ON!

Ryuji is ALSO very hostile towards Akechi, yes part in fact because he opposes The Phantom Thieves, but also because they discover the fact that Akechi was planning in killing Akiren. And Ryuji shows his utter distress at the fact Akiren might die because of that bastard.

OH AND BACK TO SHIDO’S PALACE

It was a god damn fucking SHAME that Akiren hardly reacted at all to the “supposed” death of Ryuji. 

Literally in both the game and the anime and it hurts me so much that they didn’t give him more of a reaction. 

Because you can CLEARLY tell they care so deeply for one another.

LIKE BITCH WHAT THE FUCK!? 

AKIREN’S BEST FRIEND JUST SUPPOSEDLY DIED! LIKE YOU CANNOT DENY THAT OUT OF ALL HIS FRIENDSHIPS, RYUJI WAS OBVIOUSLY HIS CLOSEST AND MOST INTIMATE ONE!

LIKE LET THE BOY SHOW HIS EMOTIONS OVER THAT. 

GOD DAMN THEM FOR MAKING AKIREN’S REACTION UNDERWHELMING!!!

Ahem anyways!

Onward to when after the Thieves all vanish from reality, and end up in The Velvet room prison. 

Once Akiren has found Ryuji he immediately dives into how it reminds him of their first meeting, when they were locked up at Kamoshida’s Palace. Ryuji then starts to doubt what they were doing, as if all the pressure that had been weighing on them and all the responsibility they had to take up - had come crashing down on him. Akiren is then able to talk it out with Ryuji, and help him regain his drive and rebellious spirit.

. -In the anime it also seems Akiren found Ryuji first out of anyone else, like he was destined to find him, although that might be stretching it and me looking too deep, but still it just seemed too intentional-

Ryuji calls Akiren so tough, for still being able to take a stand, while he’s just sitting there trapped and being consumed by so many emotions. Ryuji remarks upon thinking about it, he’s the one that really started all this Phantom Thief stuff, because of how pissed off he was.And maybe he was just doing all this out of defiance. Akiren’s first dialogue choice option is to tell him that how he felt was fine.

Ryuji then seems utterly shocked to hear Akiren say it’s fine. But he doesn’t question it, he just accepts it as the truth. He tells Akiren he is right. Then he gets back up and calls forth his rebellious spirit to stand alongside Akiren to fight a God that they don’t even know if they have any chance of winning against.

Like how is that not giving off serious vibes of there being something more between Akiren and Ryuji?

Then finally after all the shit with Yaldabaoth is finished up, and Christmas day rolls around, and Ryuji notices that Akiren isn’t around. And that everyone seems so downcast

He’s the first to ask where Akiren is, he sounds so dismayed about it to. And upon hearing that Akiren is now in juvi, he slams his fist down into the chair booth, and cries out “WHAT THE HELL” and then he and the others all come together to try and figure out a way to help Akiren out of juvi. 

Ryuji gets up and says: Yeah! Now’s not the time to be hangin’ our heads!”

Then afterwards he firmly states: We’re gonna save our leader, no matter what it takes!”

Once Akiren is back, Ryuji is just so frikken overjoyed about it. In the anime he once again even calls out to Akiren as: RENREN! - In that excitable tone of his, showing just how happy he is.

Now we get to Valentines day. In the game if Akiren didn’t date any girls, Ryuji comes over and spends the day with Akiren. He even gives him chocolate. If Akiren asks Ryuji if it’s a confession he’s like: HELL NO.

And also depending on the choices you pick with Akiren there’s a dialogue path where Ryuji states he’s done with girls - and even though he says this: “you think I’ll get a girlfriend before I graduate highschool” - probably added for comedic affect, and Ryuji just pouting about it. He’s just a lonely boy really.

However that’s the in game version, but in the anime OVA hooo boooyyyy. That’s soo different! In the anime Valentines ova special.

In the anime ova special: A Magical Valentine’s Day-- Ryuji comes in all pouty. He even shakes Akiren asking him “what does it mean” after saying Yusuke got chocolates and after stating Mishima ain’t there. 

Ryuji sits back for a moment, then asks Akiren if he got any chocolates. Once Akiren says he didn’t Ryuji takes Akiren’s hand in both of his and sounds so jubilant that Akiren didn’t get any chocolates.

He cries out joyfully: “THAT’S MY RENREN!”

You hear that he says: MY

He calls Ren HIS! 

HE LITERALLY IS CALLING REN HIS HERE.

Not only that he’s cradling Ren’s hand in his, all tender like, and he gives him the chocolate. 

Akiren then asks Ryuji if he’s his Valentine.

To which Ryuji replies: Yes, yes you are...

But upon realizing what he’s said, he gets undeniably flustered and adds: NOT!

At the end of it. But he fucking SAID it. He admitted that yes, Akiren was his Valentine. Even if he added the not on there. HE SAID YES. Not only that he said YES TWICE.

Then Ryuji suggests they close the shop and hang out.

Afterwards we get to see Akiren and Ryuji standing closely together in the attic, through the window, and Ryuji totally pulls Akiren closer to him. Heavily implying that they probably kissed. 

Cause if you watch the whole special, every date ends with Akiren getting a kiss from his date!

So why the hell would Akiren and Ryuji’s special not end with a KISS? Even if we cannot clearly see that kiss. 

I’m not saying that they kissed...

OH TO HELL WITH IT.

THEY KISSED! THEY TOTALLY KISSED.

Anyways, I’m just stating the fact that this pairing seems to sail itself in the main story of the game, and in the anime itself. There’s just so much between them that points to the fact that there’s much more going on with them than just being friends. 

Their relationship is made so it can be viewed in a romantic way. And I just happen to think that due to all this evidence, the subtle hints, the not so subtle hints, and the way Akiren and Ryuji seem to adore one another to the point they can tell each other anything, and everything, and be so trusting and physically affectionate - that Akiren/Ryuji is ENDGAME.

But hey that’s just a theory a GAME/ANIME THEORY! 

I’m sorry. I’ll shut up now.

But before I do, this is just a reminder that this is all my personal views, and I’m not asking people to enjoy this ship. If you don’t care for this ship, or for Ryuji as a character, or you don’t think that Ryuji or Akiren are either gay/bi - then that’s fine with me. You can dislike this ship or not agree.

Just don’t come storming into my inbox, or reblogging this with negativity, I beg you. I don’t want to see any negative stuff being sent my way for just expressing my love for this ship. If you want to talk about your dislike for this ship then do it somewhere else and DON’T involve me! 

With that being said, I believe that Ryuji is bi, and Akiren is probably gay. And no matter what Atlus says contrary wise, there’s just too much implications to be denied here. Through the entire game and anime itself it just seems to hold so much Akiren/Ryuji content. There’s just so much of it that I’ve probably missed many scenes just while writing this post.

This is why to me Akiren/Ryuji are boyfriends and why they will always be my number 1 favorite Persona 5 ship.

A Good friend of mine put the relationship of Akiren/Ryuji into simple and sweet words and I’d like to share it as my closing statement:

My Good Friend: 

Don’t get me wrong, I love their canon friendship so much. Their loyalty and willingness to die for each other and their friends fills me with joy. But bro...They are so intimate that it borderlines their friendship and becomes something so much more. Its beyond friendship, and beyond romantic love

HHhhhhh I LOVE THEM SHSJJS

And it really baffles me that there is people out there that somehow cannot see this. Or that they dont think this is the case

Their relationship (romantic or platonic) is so raw and powerful that you can see it miles away, like the ship or the characters or not. I can make a whole essay of why Akiren/Ryuji IN GENERAL is so beautiful and why they are so perfect for each other.

-END STATEMENT-

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope to those of you who do enjoy this ship are pleased with this post~

[fanforthefics]

HI! ITS MEEEEE!!!! Maybe a kiss in danger? Or a kiss out of jealousy? Any paring? (PS: I’m only halfway through the build a bear fic — bc I’m trying to be slow and savor it but it’s not working well bc OMG!! — But OMG!!! I AM IN LOVE!!!! The fake kid!! The unicorn!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

a kiss out of jealousy 

“Are you dating Willy?” 

Tyson looks at Gabe, then blinks. His jaw sets. Gabe’s jaw sets right back. This was the third time in a row that Tyson and Willy had talked about hanging out this week, and at least was at a time when Nate was with Gabe, and so Gabe figured they’d been alone. Then today, Tyson had just walked into the locker room with Willy, both of them laughing, and Tyson had looked up at Willy like he was hysterical and overwhelming and did that…thing he did when he was being charmingly ridiculous and Willy had rolled his eyes but grinned fondly, and–Gabe has a good reason to ask, is what he’s saying. Tyson’s supposed to look at Gabe like that. 

“What?” Tyson demands. 

“Are you dating Colin Wilson?” Gabe repeats. He thinks his voice is even, too. It’s–he’s captain. He’s supposed to know about any potential dynamic shifts in the room. 

Tyson’s eyes narrow. He glances around the room, but it’s empty–Gabe had been sure to grab him when no one else was around. Or, well. He’d been sure to grab Tyson and tell him to stick around, because Gabe had been distracted all practice and that wasn’t okay. He’d looked like an idiot. He wasn’t going to do that again. And Willy had been on fire, which was just unfair. 

“Seriously, Gabe?” 

“Seriously.” 

Tyson huffs out a breath. “Are you asking as my friend, or as my captain?” 

Gabe huffs out his own breath. Why is Tyson making this so difficult? “Does it matter?” 

“Yes,” Tyson says back, in that way he gets when he’s dead set on something. Like, hockey-serious Tyson, not off-ice-serious Tyson.  

Gabe does some quick mental math. As captain, Tyson has to tell him. As captain, it’s not weird for him to demand to know about whether two of his teammates are dating. As a friend–as a friend, Gabe will have to maybe confront why his stomach started clenching when he first got this idea into his head and it hasn’t stopped, and he doesn’t want to do that. 

“As your captain,” he decides. 

“Then it’s none of your business unless it affects my play,” Tyson snaps back, fast enough that he’d clearly set Gabe up. Gabe scowls. That’s not a bad point. That’s the point he’d make, if anyone were asking him about maybe dating a teammate. Not that he’s thought about it. 

“Fine, as your friend,” he snaps back. “Are you?” 

“As my friend, fuck off,” Tyson retorts. His eyebrows are drawn together–he looks really mad now. Or maybe hurt, which is way worse. Gabe always ends up doing ridiculous things when Tyson looks hurt. “What the hell, Landy?” 

“Yeah, what the hell, Landy?” Nate echoes, ducking his head into the locker room. His eyebrows go up, probably at the tension in the room. “Everything okay here?” 

“Yeah, Landy was just interrogating me on my current romantic situation,” Tyson tells him. He’s still eying Gabe with that same look, his eyes somehow both flinty and pathetic at once. Gabe steels himself against the urge to go, like, take him home and set him up with Zoey and cartoons and feed him chocolate until he feels better. He’s right, dammit. 

“Yeah, that tracks,” Nate agrees. 

“Yeah. About how he thinks I’m dating Willy.” Nate’s jaw drops. Tyson’s still glaring. “Which I told him was none of his beeswax. So buzz off.” He picks up his bag, and gives Gabe one final look before he leaves. 

“Willy?” Nate asks, still looking at Gabe in confusion but also maybe like he’s laughing at him. “Really? Out of all the guys on the team–Willy? Not me?” 

“Tyson’s not dating you,” Gabe informs him. He’s sure of that. It maybe took him a little while, because in his defense Tyson called Nate ridiculous nicknames that could be petnames a lot and they seemed to be joined at the hip, but Gabe was over his jealousy of Nate. Nate and Tyson’s bond was just different than the one he had with Gabe. Gabe was okay with that. “Is he dating Willy?”

Nate snorts. “If Tyson didn’t say anything, I’m not going to.” He’s definitely3 on the edge of cracking up. 

“You’re my A,” Gabe complains. It’s not a whine. Nate’s eyebrows go up. 

“Bro,” he says, and he’s more serious now. “Are you using your position as captain to get me to betray Tyson’s trust?” But that way, Gabe can admit, it sounds bad. He sighs. 

“No.” He’s not. He’s really not. He just–wants to know. 

“Good.” Nate smacks him on the shoulder. Gabe will never admit it, but it hurts. “I’m rooting for you, Landy. But not if you do something fucked up like that.”  

“I won’t,” Gabe promises, then– “Wait, why are you rooting for me? Am I competing? He is dating Willy!” 

Nate blinks. Somehow, despite the fact that they look nothing alike, it looks uncannily like how Tyson blinked earlier. It reminds Gabe of dogs and their owners. “Bro,” he says, deeply and with feeling, and follows Tyson out. 

“No, wait!” Gabe demands, following him. “Nate!” 

Fine, Gabe decides. If Tyson won’t just tell him, as a friend, he’ll have to investigate on his own. 

He does this by watching them at the bar the team goes to, after a game. They’re at a table with a bunch of people, so it’s not like Gabe’s spying on them in an intimate moment or anything. He’s just–looking. 

They’re sitting across the table from each other, is Gabe’s first observation. He can’t see under the table, though, so he can’t really be sure they aren’t playing footsie or anything. Footsie is a dangerous game at a table with too many hockey players for leg room, Gabe knows from unfortunate experience, but he’d guess that wouldn’t stop Tyson. It doesn’t look like they’re paying each other more attention than they normally would–Willy’s chatting with Barbs and Sam; Tyson with EJ and Kerfy–but Gabe doesn’t remember anymore. And maybe they’re conspicuously not paying each other attention. In fact, that’s a suspiciously little amount of attention to be paying Tyson. And Tyson’s looking good tonight, all of his summer muscle still clear on his frame, his smile somehow especially inviting. Gabe’s actually a little annoyed at Colin for this. He should be paying Tyson attention. Gabe should probably give him a talking to, just to make sure he’s treating Tyson right. 

Tyson looks away from EJ, and then his eyes lock with Gabe. Gabe doesn’t look away, on the theory that if he doesn’t Tyson might not notice he was staring. 

Tyson rolls his eyes, then gestures with his empty drink, makes a face. Gabe rolls his eyes back, mouths drunk, but he turns to the bar to order Tyson a drink. 

He takes it and his beer back to the booth, then shoves at Tyson’s side until he moves over enough to make room next to him. There isn’t, strictly speaking, enough space for all of them in the booth, so Gabe can both know what Tyson’s thigh feels like pressed up against his leg and also that Tyson’s feet are not across the table. 

“Here,” he says, pushing over the margarita to Tyson. “Have your smoothie.” 

“And a delicious smoothie it is,” Tyson agrees, grinning at Gabe around the straw as he takes a sip. Gabe smiles back reflexively. Tyson’s apparently forgiven him from yesterday. “If you got off your high horse, you could also partake in the joys of fruity drinks.” 

“I don’t think I could take all that sugar.” 

“What, Gabe, you don’t like sweet things?” Tyson tosses back. “I’d say you were too sweet already, but we all know that’s not true. You’re mean.” 

“I’m not mean,” Gabe protests. Then, at the comments that come in all around, “I’m only mean when I should be, then.” He smirks at Tyson. “Sometimes it’s fun.” 

Tyson’s cheeks go red, and he takes another sip of his margarita, muttering something under his breath. Then he resurfaces, still flushed and half-glaring at Gabe. “Whatever, I get to have like infinite dessert, and you all are just drinking bread.” 

“That’s not necessarily true,” Willy puts in. Tyson looks over at him. Gabe doesn’t growl, or anything, but it’s maybe a beer away. “Beers are carbs, but actually the yeast is–” 

“Boo!” Comphy cuts him off. “Don’t ruin beer by making it healthy.” 

“Yeah, next thing you know you’ll be telling me there are kale margaritas,” Tyson adds. Willy rolls his eyes, but he smiles at Tyson. 

“I mean, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t–” 

“Nope,” Tyson interrupts, and puts his drink down to slaps his hands over his ears. “No, I’m not hearing this, hmmmmm.” 

Gabe rescues the drink from falling off the side of the table, and smirks at Willy. “Yeah, Willy. Stop terrorizing Tyson with tales of healthy food.” 

“Hey!” Tyson turns to Gabe now, flushed and intent. Yes. Good. That’s where his attention belongs–bickering with Gabe, “I eat healthy food. I keep my diet plan.” 

Gabe raises a skeptical eyebrow. He’s seen how enthusiastically Tyson breaks his diet plan. He’s maybe encouraged it more than once, more than he should–Tyson’s mental health is more important, he’s always rationalized. And when he comes over and Gabe gives him his favorite ice cream, or proposes a Dairy Queen trip, or gives him candy–Tyson will smile at Gabe like Gabe’s important, like he’s the only person in the world, like they’re going where Gabe thinks they are. Like Gabe could make Tyson happy, for real. 

But still. Tyson definitely breaks his diet plan. “Okay, well, I’m sorry some of us have a sweet tooth,” Tyson sputters, his cheeks going red. “Anyway, it has advantages.” 

“Like?” 

“Chocolate makes you happy, didn’t you know?” Tyson tells him. “Which explains why you’re always so grumpy.” 

“I’m not grumpy!” Gabe protests. This time it’s Tyson’s turn to raise an eyebrow, and fine. Maybe Gabe’s been a little grumpy lately. But only lately. “Not usually,” he mutters, amending. 

“It’s okay,” Tyson reaches out to pat Gabe’s hand, apparently condescending, except Tyson’s touch has never felt simply anything. “We all accept you for who you are. Even when you’re being moody and ridiculous.” 

Gabe smiles back, because he knows it irritates Tyson, and also because he’s just–amused and happy. “And we accept you for who you are. Even when you’re drinking smoothies pretending to be alcohol.” 

“I accept neither of you,” Comphy mutters, and shoves his way out past Willy. Willy, who is watching them, something amused in his face. Or maybe wary? Willy’s generally a pretty good natured guy, it’s hard to tell. Gabe doesn’t know what that means. Gabe’s, like. Not being particularly subtle about flirting with Tyson right now. 

“Well,” Tyson retorts. “Maybe I’m just being considerate. I’ve never heard any complaints from anyone I’ve hooked up with.” 

Gabe chokes on his beer. EJ actually cackles. Willy snorts. Gabe ducks his head, so that he doesn’t have to look at Tyson, who’s flushing but looking pleased with himself at the reaction that got. Fuck, now he’s thinking about it–about getting on his knees for Tyson, about taking Tyson apart with his hands and mouth, Tyson’s hand in his hair–he’d be loud, because it’s Tyson, he’d probably tell Gabe just how good it felt–

Gabe shifts in his seat, his pants feeling a little tight. But he has an image to maintain, so, “Yeah?” he replies. “Neither have I, and I don’t drink vodka smoothies.” 

Now it’s Tyson’s turn to make a noise that isn’t exactly dignified. EJ is still cackling. Gabe would flip him off, but he can’t look away from Tyson. “You wouldn’t,” Tyson shoots back. Gabe can feel how his thigh is bouncing, though. “You’re all–you. No one’s going to complain about hooking up with you. Some of us have to make sure our jizz tastes good, okay?” 

EJ’s started to howl. Gabe’s a little worried about him, actually. Not worried enough to make sure he’s breathing, but still. “Some of us have the skills to make sure no one notices,” Gabe retorts. This whole conversation has gotten away from him a little, but it’s Gabe and Tyson doing their Gabe and Tyson thing, so he’s okay with it. Even if he’s going to need to do some serious thinking about unsexy things soon. “I’m more than just a pretty face, you know.” 

“I have skills!” Tyson protests, because he is at the heart predictible and as much a competitive asshole as the rest of them. “That’s not–oh, fuck off,” he tells EJ, who’s basically just collapsed into Willy by now. 

“No, this is–fuck, you guys are amazing,” EJ tells them. “I should have recorded it.” 

“No you shouldn’t have,” Gabe informs him. Tyson hasn’t moved away from him, still. “Or I’ll…” He trails off, but EJ can extrapolate the threat from there. 

EJ scowls at him. “I’m staging a rebellion.” 

“Okay,” Gabe replies, because EJ threatens that about once a week. In the mean time, Tyson’s gone back to paying attention to his drink. Gabe glances at Willy, across the table, who looks like he’s still laughing at Gabe. Fuck him. Him and his–date things that he and Tyson apparently do, where they hang out and eat dinner and listen to music. Gabe could do that. 

“Hey, Brutes.” He nudges Tyson with his hip. “Have you listened to anything good recently?” 

Tyson gives him a suspicious look. The flush on his face hasn’t gone down since their last conversation. “You think my music taste is garbage.” 

“I don’t!” Gabe protests, even though, well. He kind of does. 

“You said, and I quote, that my music sounds like garbage being put through a trash disposal.” 

“No, I said that about Nate’s music,” Gabe corrects. That one he remembers. “Nate’s music is garbage.” 

“Hey, to each their own,” Tyson warns. “I mean, Mac’s music is questionable, but no throwing stones in houses made of ABBA, eh?” 

“ABBA is–” 

“Or Backstreet boys,” Tyson keeps going. “I have video of you doing the choreo and I’m not afraid to use it.” 

“Knowing the choreography to a classic is nothing to be ashamed of.” Gabe tosses his hair back. He stands by that. 

“Okay, whatever you say.” Tyson rolls his eyes, but he’s clearly laughing. Then–”Actually, Willy. I was on spotify and I heard something you’d like, here.”

“Oh, who’s it by?” Willy leans over the table to look at Tyson’s phone. He grabs at Tyson’s hand so he can angle it so he can see. 

Gabe glares at the place where they’re touching. “I’m getting another drink,” he announces. 

“Bye, Landy,” Willy tells him. Evenly. Tyson doesn’t say anything. 

Gabe sulks over to the bar, where he does order another beer because it gives him something to do. He can’t help looking back at the table, where Tyson and Willy are still looking at Tyson’s phone. 

What does Willy have that he doesn’t have, anyway? He’s big and blonde and hot, sure, but so is Gabe. Gabe’s just as good as he is at hockey–Gabe’s got the C, dammit. And, well. Maybe Willy’s older, he’s got that air of–maturity, maybe, but Gabe can be mature. He can be totally mature. 

Like Gabe could learn to like Tyson’s music, if he tried. He would try. Or, well. He’d pretend to, at least. Just because he didn’t have that in common with Tyson, it didn’t matter. They were still–they could still be what Gabe had thought they were making their way towards, slowly but surely, for all those years of not saying anything. Willy didn’t get to get in between that, just because he had that calming voice and did yoga, or whatever. Gabe could do yoga. He’d look great in yoga pants.   

Maybe Gabe’s drunker than he thought, or maybe the jealousy is getting him drunk, because he spins a little, as he shoves away from the bar to go to the bathroom. At least there he won’t have to see them. 

When he’s done, he steps out into the hallway, leans his head back against the wall. He does, actually, know this is ridiculous. He’s out with friends. He could go hang out with any of them. He shouldn’t be so–it’s all so–

“Captain Grumpy, for sure.” Tyson says, coming out of the bathroom. He kicks at Gabe’s shin. “Come on. We won! Be happy.”  

“I am,” Gabe says. It doesn’t come out sounding very convincing. He just. Tyson’s going to go run off with Willy and live in their kale-filled yurt, or whatever, and Gabe’s not going to get any more of Tyson. 

“Oh my god.” Tyson rolls his eyes. “Come on. Let’s go play some pool, eh? You always feel better when you’re beating Josty at pool.” 

“I do,” Gabe admits. He does. And of course Tyson knows that. 

“Good, let’s go.” Tyson steps past Gabe–then Gabe reaches out, grabs his wrist. Tyson freezes. “Gabe?” 

Maybe Gabe is drunker than he thought. Maybe he can sort of see Willy, right in the sliver of space in the main barroom the hall shows, and Gabe cannot handle Tyson going out there to get wooed away. Maybe Tyson’s just looking up at him with his big eyes and something like confusion and a dare in his eyes, and his lips are full and a little stained with whatever he’s been drinking, and the shadows are playing over his cheekbones, the places where his curls sit on his forehead, and he’s looking at Gabe like Gabe’s the only person in the world. 

“Gabe?” Tyson says again, like it’s caught in his throat, and Gabe tugs on his wrist. Tyson comes, easy for once. “Gabe?” Tyson says a third time, higher pitched, as Gabe lets his hand rest on Tyson’s shoulder. His thumb brushes over the bare skin at Tyson’s neck, and Gabe can feel it, the sparks that are always there. He can see Tyson shiver. 

It’s the shiver that does him in. He tugs Tyson that final bit closer, then leans down to kiss him. 

For a second, it’s everything Gabe had wanted, had thought about maybe more than he should have–the soft noise Tyson makes into his mouth, Tyson’s body pressed to his, Tyson’s lips–and then Tyson’s shoving him away. 

Gabe stumbles back, surprised. He hadn’t–they’ve been waiting for this for years. He was sure Tyson wanted this. This much, the sex stuff, at least. 

“You asshole,” Tyson snaps, and he’s flushed and not in a good way now; in the way he gets when someone’s been mean to Nate or one of the rookies. “You’re doing this now? Seriously?” 

“I–” 

“Fuck off,” Tyson tells him, and there’s anger and Gabe can see the hurt behind it too, which is still so much worse. “Just–drink some water and fuck off, Landy.” 

“Wait, Tys–” But Tyson’s pulled away from him. By the time Gabe takes a deep breath and goes after him, he can’t see Tyson anywhere. 

He can also see Nate, glaring daggers at him from the bar, so that’s a no go. 

“He went outside.” Gabe jumps when Willy comes up next to him. Willy’s eyebrows are raised. He does not look impressed. Well, fuck him. “If you want to go apologize, say.” It doesn’t sound like a suggestion. 

“I was going to,” Gabe mutters. He’s not an idiot. Not even if this makes him feel like one. Willy’s only three years older than him, he doesn’t get to be all–like that. 

“Good. Go.” 

Gabe is tempted not to move, just to be a dick, but he also does want to go chase down Tyson, and in the end, that wins out. He goes. He’s going to go win back or maybe over Tyson, and that’ll be enough. 

He finds Tyson leaning against a wall where smokers might be, if it was more than 45 degrees. His eyes are half closed, his head tipped back. 

“Tys–” Gabe starts. 

“Go away.” 

“No.” Gabe crosses his arms. “I’m sorry. I thought you–that we–that you would be okay with that. If you didn’t want that–” 

“Of course I fucking wanted it!” Tyson’s eyes are open now, and he’s glaring at Gabe again. It’s still better than that hurt. “I’ve wanted it for years, you know that.” Gabe doesn’t deny it, but it settles something in him, something that had been raw and drawn without hearing those words. “But you finally do it now?” 

“What’s wrong with now?” Gabe protests. Sure, it’s not the most romantic setting, but he can do that later. 

“What’s wrong with now is that you just kissed me because you’re jealous of Willy.” Tyson throws his hands up. “I have been waiting for you to make a move for three fucking years, and now it’s tainted because you’re a jealous dick.” 

“It wasn’t just because–” 

“Yes it was!” It’s louder than it should be; Tyson takes a breath and lowers his voice. “You’re not subtle at all, Gabe. You were trying to like, lay claim. Because of Willy, who I am not dating, or interested in dating, or is interested in dating me, and is your fucking friend too and who you’re being a dick to!” 

“I–” 

But Tyson’s on a roll now. “And you don’t get to do that. I don’t care what we are, you don’t get to get mad at who I am hanging out with or talking to or doing anything, because I am not your anything, I am–” 

“Your own person, I know.” Gabe interrupts, because it’s the only way he’s getting a word in. Tyson’s mouth clicks closed, but he’s still breathing heavily. “I know that and I’m sorry, okay?” He is, he finds. He is. He knows. “I just–it felt like I was losing my chance, because I hadn’t said anything.” 

“Then you say something, like a normal person,” Tyson points out. “You don’t–start a investigation to figure out who I’m dating and then try to lay your claim all over me.” 

It’s a fair point, maybe. “You like me even though I”m not like a normal person, though,” Gabe says. Because he thinks that’s true. “Or maybe because.” 

Tyson’s lips quirk up, a little. “Ugh. I do,” he admits. Tyson never was good at staying angry long. 

But then the smile fades. “But you can’t do this shit,” He goes on. His back is hunching against the wall again. “If you’re going to be like this any time I have a friend–and you know how I am, sometimes. That’s not going to change. If you can’t handle it–” 

“I know. It shouldn’t. I don’t want you to change,” Gabe assures him, the words almost getting mixed up with how fast he’s trying to get them out. He doesn’t want Tyson to change. He loves Tyson for all his ridiculous, flirtatious, ways. “I just–it was just because I didn’t know.” He takes a breath. “It’s–Colin’s got a lot of the same pros I do, and he’s older and steady and he likes a lot of the same stuff you do–” 

“Yeah, let’s just find an internet source so you can see how little I care about that,” Tyson cuts him off, but he’s definitely smiling again. “And we like a lot of the same stuff. And who wants older and steadier? That sounds boring.” 

Gabe smiles back at him, hopeful. Tyson’s definitely relaxing now. “We’ve already established I’m not boring.” 

“Oh, you are, but in different, mainly sartorial ways.”

“You like how my clothes look on me.” Gabe takes a step forward, because he doesn’t think he’ll get punched now. Tyson’s head tips back so he can keep looking at him. 

“Everyone likes how your clothes look on you, that doesn’t mean you couldn’t wear a shirt that isn’t a neutral once in a while.” 

“Like you’d know?” 

“I have a very sophisticated wardrobe, Gabriel,” Tyson retorts, and he’s definitely laughing now. Gabe wants to taste it. Wants to taste all of Tyson’s moods, because he can now, because he knows he can and they can finally do this. 

Gabe takes another step closer–and Tyson puts up a hand. “No,” Tyson says. Gabe freezes. He’d thought– “No, I am not rewarding bad behavior. We need a do-over first kiss, when you’re doing it for the right reasons.” 

“I’d be kissing you for the right reasons now,” Gabe points out, looking very obviously at Tyson’s mouth. “You said some things about your smoothies I want to test the truth of.”

Tyson flushes red right down his neck, but shakes his head. “No. No,” he repeats, more firmly. “You were a dick and you don’t get rewarded for that. We’re going inside.” 

“Tyson–” 

“Inside,” Tyson says, and Gabe sighs, but he lets Tyson pull him inside. He even buys Willy a drink, though Willy’s smirking at him like he knows exactly what’s been happening. Gabe’s not exactly pleased with that. But Tyson keeps stealing looks at him all night and then touching his lips, and Gabe had definitely seen Tyson and Nate fist bump earlier and Nate’s stopped glaring at Gabe, so Gabe can handle some smirking from Willy. He got the real prize. 

“You’re coming with me, captain’s orders,” Gabe announces, grabbing Tyson’s wrist as soon as they’re off the ice and basically changed. Tyson’s grinning, still excited from his last second game-winner; he’s brilliant and joking with the guys and Gabe wants to keep him like this forever. And it’s been a full week. If Gabe doesn’t get to kiss him now, he’s–going to sulk very hard, probably. 

“Am I?” Tyson asks, but he’s laughing as Gabe tugs him down a hallway where no one really goes. “Are you going to murder me? Because this looks murdery, Landy, I”m not going to–” 

Gabe cuts him off by pushing him against the wall, then turning to pin him in. Tyson doesn’t look very put off by it. “Does this count as a good reason?” he demands. 

Tyson grins up at him. Maybe he was right–Gabe still thinks they wasted a week, but maybe this is a better first kiss, all joy and no anger or bitterness or alcohol. Just Gabe and Tyson.

“Yeah, this’ll do,” Tyson agrees, and then he’s tugging Gabe in himself, and Gabe forget there’s anyone else in the world. 

[comprosedreviews-blog]

A Court of Wings and Ruin (finally) with Monica

Rating: 4/5 (goodreads) 

With a great (new) laptop, comes great responsibility. 

And no one knows that better than me. At least after the seven hour, where-did-all-my-files-go-and-why-didn’t-they-transfer-correctly debacle. 

SO while I had an almost full review finished for this book, it has gone MIA. Go. Figure. 

But that’s Karma’s way of getting back at me for not publishing this a few months ago, you know, when I actually finished reading the book. 

But y’all didn’t come here to listen to me complain, you came for a book review, so without further RAWRS and GRRs, here’s the review:

You should read the book.

Yes I know, you’re probably sitting there glued to your screens, mouth agape because somehow, after loving the first two books of this beloved series I also managed to love and recommend the third. GOOD GRACIOUS MONICA!!! YOU’RE CRAZY!!!

In all seriousness, the book did fall a little bit behind the first and second in the list of favorites for me, but still managed to keep me coming back for more page turns and laughter and fear. 

Before writing any further, I want to warn those of you who stumbled upon this review thinking that ACOWAR was the first in a series from reading the rest of this post. You see, young ones, if you continue to read you will be spoiled for the first two books... because well, this is the third and final in its little trilogy. 

So turn away, avert your eyes, and direct your feet to the nearest Barnes & Nobles (or wherever you satisfy your book reading needs) and purchase A Court of Thorns and Roses. You won’t be sorry. 

THE BRIEF NON-SPOILERY: I can confirm that there are areas of overwriting in this finale. In fact, much of the beginning dragged on or felt unnecessary, to the point where 100 pages or so in, I finally felt like we began the story. The beginning is important for foundational stuff about new characters, old characters and new threat lines, however. It probably could have just been done with far fewer words and scenes. 

I also think that there are several areas that just lagged. I could easily put the book down in those moments and do something else... which for me isn’t a great reading experience. And before you wave your fists and say BUT MONICA, books can’t be all power and action and romance all the time, know that I understand that. I mean, I read a lot and love books a lot, but this was an excessive amount of hmmmmmmm don’t need to be reading this right now. I want to be fully pulled in, I want something to make me think I CAN PUSH THROUGH THIS SECTION TO FIND X OUT... but there were whole chapters where I was like... whelp. Nothing interesting happened. 

THAT BEING SAID, other moments in the book were done spectacularly and kept me immersed in the world even when I had to put the book down. I was like... No. Nope. Okay Mr. Reporting-Professor, you can talk all you want about the inverted pyramid, but understand that all I’m hearing is fanfic poetry about the love between Rhysand and Feyre. 

You get all the characters you love back and all the resolutions you could ask for, which is why lovers of the series must finish it. Don’t let yourself feel the unresolved feeling of ending on ACOMAF (because we all know that ending left us SHOOK). 

That’s all I can offer for you folks out there who haven’t finished ACOWAR. I hope these words of wisdom have helped you settle on the right decision of reading the book for yourself. If it didn’t, well, sorry. I’m a mere hufflepuff.

 WARNING!! SPOILERS!!! AHEAD!!!

You know, I really enjoyed this book, I swear I did, but as I’m thinking back on it, the things I remember best are the things that annoyed me. Like the father’s convenient return right as the battle was being lost, the constant magic draining, the convenient return of Rhysands angel looking friends, and all the character death bluffs. So for the interest of ending this review on a positive note (because, wtf my brain, we love this book??) I’m going to talk about these things and then swing into the good. 

1. WHATS WITH ALL THE CONVENIENCE? 

Did we just get written into too tough of a plot to get out of? No, I don’t think we did. Why? Because Sarah J. Mass is brilliant. I’m sorry, but did you see all the foreshadowing with the mirror? Or the awesome trials in the first book? Or the link between the stars of Feyre’s drawer and Rhysand??? This girl can write the tough writes. 

But this ending was riddled with oddly convenient and seemingly unnecessary helps. The island with the Seraphine and the wards that worked a little too well... like why didn’t Rhysand and friends check super hard? Why didn’t they shout a bunch. WHY DIDNT THEY REALIZE, oh yeah, we protect our sacred city with a bunch of wards too... Why didn’t the angel beings think to look outside of their wards ever? And how come they were able to get notice of the battle at all? Like... HMM, yeah we couldn’t really reach you BUTTTTTTTTT now we’re here because we found out about it?? No. I need a better explanation. 

And maybe there is one to come. Maybe the second series will shine some light on the topic, but if that’s the case then writing that entrance for these guys was a super risky move because--I’m just going to say it--it came across as a Deux ex machina (which are endings I frankly hate). 

GAHHHH and the whole book we were like

Reader: Oh no!!!!! Azriel is going to die! His wings are shredding, he went on a kill mission, he’s the misplaced love angle...I knew he shouldn’t have gone with them! I knew it!!! I knew it!! This is Sarah offing him isn’t it--

Feyre: actually we got him back in time so it’s all peas and--

Reader: OMG YOU ONLY GOT HIM TO SURVIVE BECAUSE TAMLIN IS DEAD NOW AND HE HAS SACRIFICED HIMSELF JUST AS HE REDEEMED WHATEVER TERRIBLE DARKNESS HE WAS BATHED IN AS A SMA--

Tamlin: Actually, no. No. I come back in the end. They kept me alive. I’m good. 

Reader: HOLY MUFFIN GUACAMOLE YOU DISTRACTED ME SO THAT I WOULDN’T SEE CASSI--oh actually cass is fine wow. Good job Ness--OMG NESSA AND CASSIAN ARE GOING TO DIE AHHHHH

Elain: NOT. In. My. House!

Reader: Oh dang. Nice slashy slash. Wait so everyone-- OMG ARMEN NOOOOOOOO

Ocean: psht. She’s fine. I’ll spit her out as a high fey, no worries

Reader: Oh. Oh. Okay, wow. That’s um, good then? 

Cauldron: *Gargles*

Reader: *Sobbing hysterically* RHYSAND!!!!!!!!! Actually, he’ll be fine too probably... yep. Okay. 

It got to the point where I was like, well there’s no real need to worry because any character I actually give an emotional teardrop about is protected by all the force of the pen forever. So. Yeah. 

I mean, I’m not complaining that all my characters made it out unscathed, just that they made it out and each and every one of them had their life thissssssss close to being torn away... and somehow I’m still expected to buy Rhysand’s near death at the end as our final hurdle to overcome. Which. I didn’t.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THE BAD, let’s talk about the good. 

The very beginning had me so upset. But in a good way. When it wasn’t going on too long we got to see a darker side of Feyre, the side that decided to kill a fairy for revenge, the side that isn’t afraid to ruin lives if it means saving the people she cares about. 

AND I HAVE TO SAY I HATED IT AND LOVED THAT I HATED IT. 

Like, I do not like Tamlin. I will never like Tamlin, there is no redeeming Tamlin. But, still, as Feyre began to turn his armies against him and used Lucien (who I do like!) to tear a rift in the spring court I felt the feels. Like... no. This isn’t how we do things. 

But. It. Is. 

Feyre don’t mess around. 

When the bond between Rhysand and Feyre started to go quiet I was SOOOOO worried that Tamlin had secretly discovered a way to shut it down and was working with Ianthe that I just... I was like STOP WORRYING ABOUT DESTROYING SPRING AND START FOCUSSING ON THIS CLEARLY WRONG THING!!!!! But it wasn’t that. 

No. No, it was her magic, being drained from her. 

And for someone with SO MUCH MAGIC in the book before, I was so taken aback by how many times her powers were literally drained from her. 

Was anyone else impatiently waiting for more Feysand? Because I was. I wanted it sooooo badly. Maybe that’s the real reason everything dragged. Maybe I just needed them to be together again, especially because she was now lady of the night court and I wanted to see some night court shenanigans with the gang. 

Good times. That would have been good times. 

But I had to wait. And when we did get there

STUFF//WAS//FALLING//APART

I’m sorry, what do you mean Elain is miserable???? And mad???

I’m sorry, what do you mean Lucien is coming with??? (because I might like him but yeesh, I was annoyed with his “how could you betray me” thing). 

I’m sorry, what do you mean IN GENERAL????

Can’t we just like... Idk, ignore our wounds from the other book? CASS got to! His wings grew back//were healed. We should all be like Cass!

For real though, when everyone was talking about how Elain had gone crazy I was sitting here thinking... *raises hands* um maybe she’s like... seeing the future? Did we think about that guys?? But nooooooo. Everyone was all pity filled and I was all :(((((((((((

My greatest regret is we never got the resolution of Cass and Nessa. I want them together and I want it yesterday!

I felt like we were there. We were so close. They almost died together and Cass and Nessa BASICALLY SAID THEY LOVED EACH OTHER and then...

poof. Same old same old rawr. 

And then are Elain and Azriel going to be a thing??? I don’t know if I want that or don’t want that???? Are Lucien and bird princess going to be a thing???? Who is a thing, who isn’t a thing, why???????

Like, last book I was here for Lucien and Elain. I mean I figured they’d have to like, get to know each other, fall in love, etc. but I’m a sucker for a falling in love story// enemies to lovers sub-arch. 

Nope. Nope. Nope. 

Now I can’t even bring myself to root for that. They are just wrong for each other. And I don’t like it. I don’t like that our thing that set up our two main characters can be so imperfect. Rawr, I just want resolution!!!!!!

And did everyone catch that Lucien isn’t related to the monster that was previously believed to be his father??? WHO’S GOING TO EXPLAIN TO DADDY HELION THAT HE IS A FATHER???? WHY DIDN’T THAT HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK???

I’m sorry but all signs for me point to the next series following Elain, Lucien, and Bird princess lady// whatever horrible deal she made to be able to come and fight. I’m not against that. I do want to know more about why the cauldron gave Elain so much power, and how her ex-fiance is feeling now, and how her prophesies/// Azriel thing/// Lucien thing is going to pan out !!!BUT!!!! But here I am wanting to know what happened to giant nightmare cloud, wanting to see baby Feysand, wanting to have Mor find love, wanting to know more about Nessa’s link with the cauldron...

ARE WE SURROUNDED BY I NEED TO KNOWS RIGHT NOW OR WHAT???

*sigh* when is Sarah going to release the next series beginner? I need it. Otherwise, I might combust. And I need these answers. Not in this order but... like in the next book please?? Please???? PLEASE????

So this review turned more into a mindless ramble of happenings and wants than anything else. If you feel I left things out (which I most certainly did thanks to writing this months and months after reading smh) please comment below! I’d love to hear what Y’all think// what y’all want from the next book. 

And gosh if you read this far, you’re a saint. 

Until next post,

Monica