#oliver does appear in the trailer a few times

[xorax]

Hi! If you don't mind, a few question about Saltburn:

Does Michael smoke in it?

Can you describe the scene at the bar if you're okay with it?

I'm dying for some lines from him.

Thank you :)

Hello! I'll put everything under a spoiler cut

So there are like 5 scenes with Michael but Ewan really nailed the character, a creepy mathematical genius that Oliver (Barry) befriended when he arrives at Oxford, mainly because there are no other options for him: they are the 2 outsiders, but while Michael despises the rich kids, Oliver long to be accepted in Felix's (aka the most popular guy) circle. I don't recall him smoking (Oliver doesn't smoke either at the beginning, and he only starts when he begins to hang out with Felix).

In the bar scene, Michael and Oliver are sitting at the pub, drinking together. Michael says he has to go to pee and asks Oliver to buy him a beer. Oliver goes to the bar counter and catches eyes with Felix (who is also at the pub with his friends). Felix recognizes Oliver (who has early that morning helped him) and enthusiastically invites him to his table. Oliver seems torn, Felix asks if he's already with a friend. Oliver turns around and Michael is back and he's standing, staring at him. Oliver says out loud that his friend is actually going home and goes sit with Felix and the rich kids.

Later, Michael confronts Oliver telling him Felix will soon get bored of him (this is the last of Michael's appearances).

Other scenes with Michael include 1) first dinner at Oxford, where he and Oliver met. In the beginning, Michael seems quite friendly: he points out they are the only 2 outsiders, says he can do mental math, and challenges Oliver to ask him a random math operation. When Oliver hesitates, he insists and then quickly bursts into anger until finally an uncomfortable Oliver asks him to multiplicate 2 numbers (can't recall exactly which ones, but it's a complicated operation) and Michael gives the correct answer immediately. The scene is supposed to be funny and unsettling at the same time (the film has many dark comedy moments). 2) Micheal and Oliver are in the library, Oliver is distracted and keeps looking at Felix. Micheal asks him for his snack and Oliver immediately gives it to him. 3) Michael tells Oliver about the Christmas Party they are not invited to (seen in the trailer). 4) the bar scene 5) the confrontational scene.

Despite being a minor character, I can already see tons of fanfiction being written... people who loved Aemond will love Michael too, they share a similar aura !!

[nysocboy]

In the Line of Beauty: Thatcher-era gay guy settles in with a conservative MP, dates closeted guys

Amazon Prime has been pushing The Line of Beauty, a British drama about a poor boy who moves in with his ultra rich, ultra powerful classmate.  The trailer shows him smooching with an old guy, so apparently he seduces the Dad. There are three parts, each an hour long, set in 1983, 1986, and 1987.  I'll review the 1983 episode, "The Love Chord."

Scene 1: Closeup of a huge mansion in the ritzy Notting Hill section of London. Two guys arrive. "Is this where you live?" Nick Guest (Dan Stevens) asks, overwhelmed. Guest, har har.  His classmate Toby (Oliver Coleman): "Well, where my parents live."  Sounds like a Saltburn or Brideshead Revisited coming up.

Nick continues to gawk as Toby leads him through the house. An elderly lady with an Italian accent shows him his room: quite a let down, tiny, with awful wallpaper. Don't worry, you'll be in the master suite as soon as you seduce a few family members. 

Scene 2:  Dinner time.  Dad (Tim McInnerny) has just been elected a Member of Parliament for the Conservative Party.  In the homophobic 1980s!  Their affair is going to cause quite a scandal.   

Plot dump: Nick has graduated from Oxford with a First in English, and is now is working on his doctorate, researching Henry James. He has agreed to housesit all summer, while Mom and Dad are in France and Toby is traveling through Europe.  Wait, I thought this would be a Nick-Toby romance, or at least Nick seducing Toby first on his way through the family.   "Oh, we forgot to mention that you will be taking care of our mentally ill teenage daughter, Cat."

Cut to Toby shaving in a towel (nice physique!), giving Nick the deets.  Cat used to cut herself, but she's on medication, and feeling better. 

"Does she know...?"  Nick asks.  Sure, and she's fine with it.  Say the Word, idjits!  He gazes at Toby's butt.  Not good enough -- say it!

Scene 3: Mom, Dad, the housekeeper, and Toby say goodbye and drive away.  That night, Nick is reading a Henry James novel, when Cat appears in a bathrobe with booze and two glasses. She lights up a marijuana joint. I thought she knew?  Maybe Girlfriend wants to snag herself some gay cock

"What's it like being gay?" she begins.  "It seems perfectly normal to me."

Next question: "Have you shagged Toby?"  No, he's straight. "But you fancy him."  Of course not. Are we going to get an unrequited love plotline?   Nick isn't dating anyone at present, so Cat decides to find him a guy. 

Scene 4: Nick comes home to find Cat talking to an elderly working-class man, who keeps grinning and gazing lustfully at him.  Ulp, not Nick's type!  Psych: he's not a hookup, he's just visiting.  She has actually been searching the personal ads (remember those?).  "Black guy, late 20s, very good looking." 

Nick calls to make a date with Black Guy, Late 20s, then rushes downstairs to tell Cat.  But she's gone -- and one of the knives is missing from the kitchen!  She's cut herself.  But she was so happy before.   He bandages her wound, then goes to her room and confiscates her knife collection.

Scene 5: As they walk in the garden, Nick asks if Cat knows what causes the urge to cut herself, or if she can tell when it's coming.  She doesn't get any advance warning: her mood has nothing to do with it.  Suddenly everything suddenly goes "black and glittering," and she has to stop living.  He wants to call the parents, but she assures him that it won't happen again. If  she has no control over it, how can she promise that?

Cut to evening. Cat doesn't want to go back to her room, so she sleeps on the couch, while Nick plays the piano. Hey, she's trying to sleep!  

Scene 6: Nick rushes to an outdoor restaurant for his date with Leo (Don Gilet), the personal ad guy.  It's rather awkward.  Leo looks for an excuse to dismiss Nick as racist, is disappointed to discover that he isn't rich, and is annoyed when he misunderstands "Let's get going."  Neither has a place, so they end up kissing and doing anal in the private garden.  Nick is the top.  A little of Leo's butt is shown. 

Scene 7:  Mom and Dad return from France with gifts of foie gras and perfume.  Nick and Cat agree that everything was brilliant, so they suggest that he stay on as Cat's attendant. Shouldn't he have training in mental illness, crisis intervention. and such? Of course he can still work on his degree, and he can bring friends over.  But can we screw in my bedroom?

Scene 8:  They visit Hawkeswood, Mom's brother's estate, which is loaded-down with French impressionist art. Uncle is impressed by Nick's knowledge of 18th century furniture.

Uncle says "Come with me -- I want to show you something," and the whole family flashes salacious grins.  This must be the old guy that Nick is snogging in the trailer. 

Psych!  He doesn't want to show Nick his dick: he has some photos from Henry James' visit to the manor in 1903. 

They discuss the guest list. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher can't make it, but a lot of Conservative MPs and the Home Secretary will be there. Ugh!  Everyone hates him.

The full review, with NSFW photos, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

[papermoonloveslucy]

CURTAIN UP!

Lucy on Stage ~ Epilogue

Lucille Ball has influenced theatrical stage plays as part of her legacy to the entertainment industry.  There have been theatrical presentations that merely mention her name, or present her as a character. Here are a just a few examples. 

I Love Lucy ~ A three-act comedy adapted by Christopher Sergel from the television program by Jess Oppenheimer, Madelyn Pugh, and Bob Carroll Jr. 

Act One opens in the Ricardos’ messy living room, based on the TV show’s eighth episode, “Men Are Messy.” Lucy and Ricky argue over finances. Lucy changes the subject by wanting to look up Ricky’s horoscope, from “The Séance.” She does this to encourage Ricky to ask Mr. Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana nightclub, for a raise (from “Ricky Asks for a Raise”). Peggy and Arthur, “The Young Fans” are also in the cast. Later, Mr. Littlefield comes over to the messy apartment and wonders how Ricky can manage the Tropicana if he can’t manage his own wife.

It is reported that in 1954, before television was widely available in Hawaii, Hilo High School put on the “I Love Lucy” play!  The sister of a Hilo High School teacher living in Hollywood met with the publicity manager for Lucy and Desi and told them about the approaching production. Lucille Ball was reportedly “thrilled,” and asked for pictures of the Hilo High School cast. The “I Love Lucy” senior play had four daytime student performances and one night showing for the community. It was also staged at the Kilauea Military Reservation. The Arnazes sent them a congratulatory telegram.

“If you want to laugh until tears run down your cheeks and your sides ache go see ‘I Love Lucy,’ the hilarious comedy production by Hilo High School’s senior class. The cast literally had its audience rolling in the aisles.” ~ Thelma Olival in the Hilo Tribune Herald

After a few local and community performances, the Sergel script was withdrawn and is no longer in print. 

In 1955, after “I Love Lucy” concluded its European Tour episodes, Hedda Hopper reported that Lucille Ball and Desi Aranz were in talks to appear in a stage musical produced by Rogers and Hammerstein. 

“They're figuring on an original story to fit their personalities, and it will bring these two back to the stage for the first time in 15 years. Desi was in ‘Too Many Girls’ in 1940 and Lucille road-toured in ‘Dream Girl’ after she quit Metro. ~ Hedda Hopper, July 11, 1955

Needless to say, the project never materialized. Instead, Lucy and Desi opted for a sixth season of “I Love Lucy” set in Connecticut. 

Bells Are Ringing (1956) is a Broadway musical by Betty Comden, Adolph Green and Jule Styne, which focuses on Ella Peterson (originally played by Judy Holliday), who works in the basement office of a telephone answering service. At a party attended by snobbish New Yorkers, the ensemble sings “Drop that Name”. One of the names dropped is Lucille Ball. The 1960 film adaptation (also starring Holliday and Lucille Ball’s friend Dean Martin) was directed by Vincente Minnelli, who had directed Ball in The Long, Long Trailer (1954). 

“That's the way you play the game, Drop that name!”

Little Shop of Horrors (1982) by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman follows a hapless florist shop worker who raises a plant that feeds on human blood and flesh. He has a romance with a fragile beauty named Audrey, who dreams of “Somewhere That’s Green.” The lyrics of the song imagine Audrey and Seymour married, settled down, and watching “I Love Lucy” with their children.  When the film was made in 1986, the song was turned into a dream sequence that featured footage of “I Love Lucy’s” famous chocolate factory scene from “Job Switching” (1952).

“We snuggle watchin' Lucy On our big, enormous twelve-inch screen!”

Baby (1983) is a Broadway musical by David Shire, Richard Matlby Jr, and Sybille Pearson that dealt with the effects of motherhood on three couples. During the song “I Want It All” the three expectant mothers (originally Liz Calloway, Catherine Cox, and Beth Fowler) sing about the famous and powerful women they emulate.. including Lucille Ball. 

“I want to be Mother Teresa, Sally Ride, Lucille Ball I want it all!”

Senator Joe (1989) was a Broadway ‘popera’ by Tom O'Horgan and Perry Arthur Kroeger that dealt with famous red-hunting Senator Joseph McCarthy. The show closed in previews due to accusations of financial misconduct by its producer. 

(Photo courtesy of Perry Arthur Kroeger. Used by permission.)

Lucille Ball was accused of being a communist by McCarthy in 1953. The show featured large cut-out heads of Lucy and Desi (as well as Jackie Gleason and Howdy Doody), with their dialogue voiced by Michelle Fleischer and Tom Desrocher. The show played at the the Neil Simon (formerly the Alvin), the same venue where Lucille Ball’s name was dropped in Bells Are Ringing and Ball made her only Broadway appearance in 1960′s Wildcat. When Ball suddenly died in 1989, news reporters stood outside the theatre, which still displayed the marquee for “Senator Joe”!  

I Loved Lucy is a play by Lee Tannen, based on his 2001 book of the same title about his friendship with Lucille Ball. The two person play (Lucy and Lee)  presents their developing relationship over a series of conversations and backgammon games during the last years of her life. 

The play has had numerous productions, including New York City and London, where it starred Sandra Dickinson as Ball and Matthew Scott as Lee. Tannen has also played himself in some productions. 

An Evening With Lucille Ball: Thank You for Asking is a one woman show starring Suzanne LaRusch as Lucy, written and directed by Lucie Arnaz. It is structured after a series of real-life Q&As and seminars Lucille Ball conducted in the 1970s, enhanced with flashbacks to earlier periods in the actress's astonishing career and silent home movies. LaRusch was originally a strolling Lucy impersonator at Universal Studios who parlayed her uncanny imitation into this unique ‘sanctioned’ show as well as playing ‘Lucy’ in the 1997 feature film Timecop. 

Lucy Loves Desi: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Sitcom is a staged radio play produced by L.A. Theatre Works from a script by Gregg Oppenheimer, son of “I Love Lucy” creator Jess Oppenheimer.  

Originally an audio play, the show has since been staged and toured. Six performers play Lucy, Desi, Jess Oppenheimer, and the other central figures responsible for the launch of the series. The show employs projections and music. 

The Cuban and the Redhead is a musical by Robert Bartley and Danny Whitman deals with the tumultuous relationship of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz and the creation of the television show that was their legacy.  

The musical has had numerous readings and regional productions. 

I Love Lucy: Live On Stage is a theatrical presentation of “I Love Lucy” scripts staged by Rick Sparks. 

The show has toured extensively in the USA and Canada. The settings, costumes, and wardrobe contribute to bringing the television program vividly to life. 

The Cher Show (2017) is a jukebox musical with a book by Rick Elice that tells the story of the life and career of Cher, using songs that she performed throughout her career. The part of Cher is played by three actresses. One actress (originally Emily Skinner) plays Cher’s mother Georgia Holt, and Lucille Ball. Holt was a background performer on “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy Show.”  

Everybody Loves Lucy by Elise McCann and Richard Carroll. In the cabaret show Francine Cain brings Lucille Ball to life, revealing the woman behind the image. As well as playing Ball, Cain also plays Edie, an amalgam of  the women who watched “I Love Lucy” in the 1950s.

SIdekicked by Kim Powers is a one-woman about Vivian Vance. Set on March 2, 1960, Vance is about to turn herself into Ethel Mertz, America's most beloved side kick, for the final time. Although Lucille Ball is not represented on stage, she is the center of Vance’s world at the time. 

The play has had several regional productions, including at Cape May Stage (NJ) where Sally Mayes (above) played Vance. 

Love! Valour! Compassion! (1994) by Terrence McNally is a play about a group of gay friends that escape to a lakeside house. The character of Buzz (originally Nathan Lane) tells the audience that he owes his very existence to Lucille Ball. In the 1997 film version, Buzz was played by Jason Alexander. 

Corpus Christi (1997) by Terrence McNally is a modern retelling of the story of Jesus' birth, ministry, and death. McNally mentions Lucille Ball in a scene between Joshua (the Jesus prototype) and a room service waiter. 

Bring it On: The Musical (2011) is a musical with music by Tom Kitt and Lin-Manuel Miranda, lyrics by Amanda Green and Miranda, and book by Jeff Whitty loosely based on the 2000 film of the same name. It focuses on the competitive world of cheerleading and over-the-top team rivalries.  During the song "I Got You" Lucy and Desi are mentioned. The song was performed during the televised Macy's Parade on Thanksgiving Day 2012.  

MISCELLANEOUS LUCY 

[dearest-allure]

MARGARITA: Fallen from Grace

Los Angeles, early 2000s, after 2005

Tags: toxic dynamics, significant age gap relationship, angst, self-doubt

All I wanted to do was to act. I sacrificed a lot of things for this. Blood, sweat, and tears. Remembering those nights and gruesome set conditions.

Oliver once told me he would never let me down. That he would rather chase me to the ends of the earth than let me go.

Sunlight streaming through the window wakes me up with a start. I hold the sheets against my torso, careful not to take a tumble as I slip into the bathroom.

“You’re up early today.”

Berline comes prepared, as she always does. Armed with her earpiece and the usual tablet in hand, she hands me a cup of coffee.

At least she knows I take it with a little milk and no sugar. I take it with a nod and listen to her briefing of the day.

“Okay, we’ll head out now. The car’s already on the driveway.”

“Got it.”

Grabbing the bag I had been assigned to by the stylist, I tuck it on my shoulder and step out of the apartment, shoulders rolled back.

Berline had the door open and she’s waiting, as patient as she will ever be. I don’t waste any time.

“Make room!” One of the bodyguards tell the crowd, which continues to push back and I have to hurry inside the waiting car.

Cameras nearly shoved into the open door, though I am grateful for their quickness in closing it behind me.

“We will be there in about 40 minutes. In the meantime, here, I got your script for today.” Another list of questions. I skim through it, some have been asked repeatedly, as it mostly happens.

It should have been faster, but since I have an entirely different scheduled meeting the day before, we had to pick this hotel, for the sake of safety and distance.

Berline is busy with her phone, tapping fast and glancing at the iPad on her lap, screen illuminating her angular face. As it often is, the car ride is mostly silent.

“We’re here.” The driver halts to a stop, my designated agent-slash-manager announced. She is out in a flash, waiting for me a few steps ahead.

Again, we went through the mob of people, this time at least with a little space between us, with the makeshift fence set to separate the crew and the one with no pass cards, fans who came all this way, and media attempting to sniff any gossip.

“I missed you this morning.”

Oliver leaned to give me a kiss on the cheek, his demeanor seems calm today. My shoulders droop a little.

Secluded in the bubble of my trailer, we are allowed to be in each other’s company. He had arrived shortly after, must have been courtesy of Berline, feeding him information every second of the day.

“You left this morning.”

Leaning against the throw pillows on my nook, I stare ahead. There is a living area and a table where we sometimes eat. Last time, I recall it was Thai food.

“I’m sorry, Paloma, I had to. Work called.”

Head tilting back as he kisses down my neck, I let out a little sound of what, I’m not sure. Either pleasurable or annoyance. Somewhere in between.

Right as he starts to toy with the buttons on my shirt, a knock resonate through the door. Oliver hides his face on my chest, muttering something about 𝘤𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘴.

When Berline’s stern face appears and she sets to work, handing the script and waiting for me with barely concealed patience, I raise to my feet.

“I have to go.”

Oliver seems rueful, but he eventually let me go, though not before squeezing my wrist one last time. He, too, stands.

“Me either. I have to be home.”

𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦. Even if he talks about how his own marriage is past the point of repair, and that we might be able to be together in public sooner than expected, he always refers to them as his home.

“Oh.”

It’s hard to hide my disappointment. I guess even when my job revolves around ‘fake it until you make it’, I find it harder to hide my feelings when someone I have affection for is involved.

“I’ll see you.”

Before the door is closed, I steal another glance at him. He sits there, giving him that look. Filled with something dark and a touch of lust. I remember it, just like the day we first met.

Stepping into set reminds me to get my head back in the game. After all, it is what I have worked about most of my life for. I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this.

“Margarita! Ah, there she is. Alright, everyone, places!”

It ended in the morning. I gratefully accept the coat handed by one of the set assistants, tightening it around my shoulders. Berline is already waiting, looking like a hawk watching its prey.

“Here.”

Handing me a pair of glasses, which confused me, though I hold it, blinking, watching how she immediately turns her back on me. The last time she did this, I had been accused of being a politician’s side piece. Which raises the question, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨?

“Berline—”

Before the question can be given a voice, I soon realize the truth lies just beneath the surface. A mob of photographers stand on the fence, clearly would love to catch me at any possible ‘rock bottom’ moment.

“Margarita!”

“Can you share about your relationship?”

“Is it true?”

“I heard you’re dating the producer—”

“No comment.” Berline exclaims, fending them off with the bodyguards, leading her into the waiting car. Feeling numb, she keeps her head down.

. . .

“We decided to go a different direction with the casting.”

“Next time. We will keep you in mind for the next project.”

Then, the phone calls stopped. Sitting on her nook, she thinks about what happened. Maybe it has been a long time coming.

Margarita never had a lull in working projects. She jumped from one movie to another. At first it was soap operas, then a hit movie, before she knows it, she’s on a plane ride to LA. The city of angels.

Palm trees and beaches. Fake tans and practiced smiles. Camera flashes and microphones. There should be an award for all this ass kissing she had to dish out.

During all of this, the only lifeline she thought she has is him. The one who leaves her stranded.

Margarita picks up her phone and dials the only number she knows won’t judge her decisions.

“Hola!“ Catalina’s voice is cheeky as ever. There was shuffling, she can hear other voices, then a click and the background noise receeds.

“I need you.”

[ojcobsessed]

today netflix released the official trailer for the lost daughter, a film written and directed by maggie gyllenhaal and starring olivia colman, dakota johsnon, jessie buckley, jack farthing, oliver jackson-cohen, peter sarsgaard and paul mescal. it will be released on netflix in the us on 31 december, 2021 and in the uk on 7 jan 2022.

[ultraericthered]

Pokemon English Voice Compare/Rank, Champions

In which I rank the English dub voice actors of Pokemon characters from strongest to weakest, and sometimes throw in my 2 cents of who I think would be solid casting choices. This one is for Champions.

LANCE: 1. Bill Milsap - Voice of Lance in Pokemon Masters. Think Grant George crossed with Steve Blum and that describes Bill’s voice for Lance here, and I think it works really well. He sounds appropriately bold and heroic, but his voice can veer towards warmth and towards intimidating fearsomeness depending on the lines he’s speaking. 2. Ben Diskin - Voice of Lance in Pokemon Generations. While basically the same voice he does for other serious bishie characters like Young Xehanort, it suits a character like Lance. He’s particularly good when he raises his voice and displays his feroctiy. 3. Wayne Grayson - Voice of Lance in the main anime. When the character appeared in Johto and Hoenn, Wayne’s voice for him was terrible and not remotely fitting. But when Lance was reintroduced in Journeys, Wayne reprised the role and finally did him justice. 4. Robert Bucholtz - Voice of Lance in Pokemon Origins. For a Dragon Master, leader of the Elite Four, and future Champion, Bob’s voice acting for Lance is exceptionally dull and carries no presence. It’s just the most Average Joe sort of voice you could hear. FANCAST OPTION(S): Grant George or Max Mittelman for Lance?

STEVEN STONE: 1. Andrew Paull - Voice of Steven in the main anime. He was only in one episode of the Ruby & Sapphire series and like what happened with Lance, Andrew performed the part pretty awfully. But when the character returned in XY and Journeys, his vocal improvement fit perfectly and it’s hard to imagine Steven sounding any different. 2. Xander Mobus - Voice of Steven in Pokemon Masters. The sound of Xander’s voice always suited Steven, but his delivery was at first too smarmy and self-satisfied. His approach to the role as of the 2021 Anniversary is much better and more in line with Andrew Paull. 3. Tom Wayland - Voice of Steven in the animated trailer for Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire. Like his N from the last animated trailer, this is ill fitting even for just one line. He sounds too young and immature.

WALLACE: 1. Mickey Caputo - Voice of Wallace in Pokemon Masters EX. Goes very low and raspy despite the light, effeminate tone, and his delivery really sells the elegant artist who’s perfromative but level-headed. 2. Sean Reyes - Voice of Wallace in the anime. Nothing about this vocal performance stands out to me. Just like Wallace in this anime! FANCAST OPTION - Johnathan Todd Ross. He’s got the sort of voice I’d imagine for Wallace, so with acting and delivery akin to what Mickey Caputo did in the role, he’d be surprisingly excellent.

CYNTHIA: 1. Allegra Clark - Voice of Cynthia in Pokemon Masters. Her voice for Cynthia reflects everything that is awesome about her, and any time she’s had to do a reprisal her delivery has remained so on point. 2. Emily Bauer - Voice of Cynthia in the main anime. Being the VA for Cynthia AND Dawn meant that Emily had her work cut out for her early on, and in the latter half of the Diamond & Pearl dub she devolved into this very pretentiously high and mighty sounding faux-aristocratic tone. In the Best Wishes and Journeys dubs, her Cynthia saw massive improvement and is about as perfect as Allegra’s. 3. Tara Janye Sands - Voice of Cynthia in Pokemon Generations. With more material to work with, she probably could’ve done just fine, but for the short that features her she just put on a “heroic” tone and called it a day, failing to really impress with the few lines she got. FANCAST OPTION(S) - Nicole Oliver would be my top pick, but as she’s a Canada VA, Ali Hillis would be my number two choice. Or maybe Marissa Lenti if her Nicole Oliver impression has improved.

ALDER: 1. Cam Clarke - Voice of Alder in Pokemon Masters EX. It’s...it’s Cam Clarke, guys. One of the most seasoned veteran voice actors in the industry, making him perfect as an aging, experienced Champion. 2. Scottie Ray - Voice of Alder in the main anime. Scottie is very good at doing gruff voices, and also nailed the humorous and serious sides of Alder to really make use of an otherwise wasted character. 3. Andrew Eales - Voice of Alder in Pokemon Evolutions. His lack of much voice acting experience makes him playing Alder as well as he did a pleasant surprise, but the one downside is that you can sort of tell it’s a much younger VA trying to sound older to match the role.

FANCAST OPTION: Daran Norris for Alder, please? If Cowboy Bebop and Digimon were able to have him, I don’t see why not!

IRIS: 1. Cassandra Lee Morris - Voice of Iris in Pokemon Masters. Going higher, squeakier, and even more youthful than she normally does, Cassandra gives Iris exactly the sort of rambunctious, energetic, and sassy voice and performance I’d imagine to hear from the character.

2. TIE - Eileen Stevens & Anairis Quinones - Voices of Iris in the main anime. Eileen’s vocal performance as Iris is, for the most part, really good and lots of fun to listen to. My only issue is actually just the voice itself, how it sounds a little too matured and sometimes shrill compared to Aoi Yuki’s take. Anairis Quinones was my Fancast Option for Iris for a while since she’s got a voice not too unlike Eileen Stevens, isn’t white, and has Iris in her name...and then they actually cast her as Iris for the Masters 8 Tournament in Pokemon Journeys!

3. Cherami Leigh - Voice of Iris in Pokemon Generations. Cherami Freaking Leigh should be casting gold, but she unfortunately fell into the same trap Grant George did as N in that her line reads come in three different voices without any solid consistency. Had she carried her initial voice through the whole performance, she’d have got it.

DIANTHA: 1. Antonia Flynn - Voice of Diantha in Pokemon Masters EX. There is something about her naturally warm, melodius voice that makes Diantha so likable and pleasing to listen to, making her the best fit for a Champion who’s also an actress and occasional nobility LARPer. 2. Amber Lee Connors - Voice of Diantha in Pokemon Evolutions. Her voice sounds similar to Antonia Flynn’s, but her line delivery could’ve been better directed. I’m too aware that she’s acting here. 3. Laura Post - Voice of Diantha in Pokemon Generations. Opposite of the above, her delivery is perfectly natural but the voice might be a little too literal-minded in the Audrey Hepburn influence. 4. Vanessa Gardner - Voice of Diantha in the main anime. I’m sorry, but this vocal performance was just very bland and underwhelming.

LEON: 1. Cedric Williams - Voice of Leon in Pokemon Masters EX. Despite the laughably fake British accent, Cedric’s Leon sounds the most unique among the character’s voices and he best captures the enthusiasm, pride, and childish qualities that Leon is known for. 

2. Alejandro Saab - Voice of Leon in the main anime. He does a virtually flawless job of selling this incarnation of Leon, making him sound cool and tough but friendly and not unapproachable. He only falls to second place because we’ve heard him do similar voices for Roark and Kukui in Pokemon Masters well before he voiced Leon. 3. Aleks Le - Voice of Leon in Pokemon Evolutions. Maybe it was to fit the character model, but that voice is just WAY too deep. Aleks was a much better fit for Piers than he was for Leon. 4. Kai Jordan - Voice of Leon in Pokemon: Twilight Wings. This is the opposite problem from the above, as the voice Kai gives to Leon is too light and honestly sounds like it should’ve gone to Hop instead. FANCAST OPTION - IDK, an actual British guy would be nice.

NEMONA:

1. Yolis Arroyo - Voice of Nemona in Pokemon Horizons.

2. Olivia Vidas - Voice of Nemona in Pokemon: Paldean Winds.

3. Cristina Milizia - Voice of Nemona in Pokemon Masters EX.

FANCAST OPTION - Michelle Rojas

[sparrowmoore-archive]

jesus you’ve got better lips than judas ; i could keep your bed warm , otherwise i’m useless .

                 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝟎𝟎𝟐 : 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐄 .

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Full Name: Sparrow Nicolette Moore

Reason for name: Like Josiah, their mother chose their names -- ‘Sparrow’ is the symbol of freedom and direction which is what they always hoped for, a biblical symbolism of the worth of God. ‘Nicolette’ meaning people of victory. 

Nickname(s): Bird (Marcos), various profanities by Josiah. 

Date of Birth: May 2nd, 1995

Age: 26

Gender + Pronouns: Non-binary + They/Them

Place of birth: Roswell, New Mexico

Parents: Oliver moore & Laurel moore ( née abrams )

Siblings: Josiah Moore, Jade Moore, Rowan Moore & Wyatt Moore. 

Relationship with family: There’s a bitterness towards Sparrow’s siblings that’s perhaps unfounded. They hate that success never found them when it graced some of the others, sickeningly jealous that they were forced back to Roswell against their will. Despite this, Sparrow is closest with their twin brother Josiah and their older sister Jade, with the other two brothers currently in the bad books for ever leaving. 

Pets: None

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5′7″

Build: Slim

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: White

Distinguishing Facial Features: Large, round brown eyes + sharp jawline. 

Hair Color: Bleached blonde + tinted pink. 

Usual Hair Style: Either natural or scraped back into a messy bun; nothing fancy. 

Eye Color: Brown

Complexion: Deathly pale, Sparrow doesn’t enjoy the outside. 

Disabilities: None

What do they consider their best feature?: Their hair; it’s their pride and joy, even if most of the time it resembles scraggly strands of straw. 

Worst they’ve ever been injured: Grazed by a bullet against their right arm running from the gunfight that nearly killed their boyfriend. There’s still a slight scar, but they’d never admit it.

APPEARANCE:

Favorite outfit: Oversized plaid shirt, cropped shorts, fishnet stockings + Doc Marten boots.

Glasses? Contacts?: n/a.

Personal Hygiene: Sparrow showers whenever they can wrestle the bathroom from one of the other Moore’s. 

Jewelry? Tattoos? Piercings?: Multiple ear piercings, nostril piercing. A scattering of tattoos, mostly across their hands, dealt to themselves with a sewing needle and Indian ink. 

What does their voice sound like?: Deep, monotone. 

Style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.): Sparrow’s volume is marginally below a shout, loud and articulate, unwavering. 

Accent?: Southern, born from New Mexico and intensified through years in Texas.

Unique mannerisms/physical habits: Sparrow bites their nails incessantly, which is a nasty habit ( although it’s one they’d never dare break ) .

Left handed or right?: Left handed.

Do they work out/exercise?: Not at all. They’d be seen dead before they were seen in workout gear.

BELIEFS & INTELLECT:

Known Languages: English

Zodiac: Taurus

Gifts/talents: Sparrow has a talent for coming up with the rudest, most obscure insults and pet names. They are also an amazing shot when it comes to firearms.

Religious stance: Raised in a religious Jewish/Catholic household; practices neither. 

Political stance: Apathetic. 

Pet peeves: Can I say everything? Sparrow has a very low tolerance for bullshit. 

Optimist or pessimist: Pessimist

Extrovert or introvert: Introvert

INTIMACY & RELATIONSHPS:

Relationship status: It’s complicated

Sexual orientation: Bisexual

Ideal mate/qualities they look for in mate: A protector, someone to keep them safe from the harm of the world. They like to feel like somebody has their back. Physically, they are attracted to the tall, dark and handsome type.

Ever been in love?: Once, and never again. They’ve sworn off love.

What’s their love language?: Sparrow isn’t sure. The only love they ever experienced was the toxic kind. 

Most important person in their life?: Josiah Moore.

VOCATION:

Level of education: High School Diploma ( barely ) .

Profession: Radio Host at Rocket.FM

Past occupations: Waiter at Pizza Planet, Gang Member. 

Dream occupation: Author or an artist; anything creative. 

Passions: Nineties music, writing lyrics, their family, grunge fashion.

Attitude towards current job: Sparrow loves their job, although they wish it could sustain them enough to move out and get their own trailer or, in an ideal world, a real apartment, even if it was in Greystone of all places. 

Spender or Saver? Why?: Spender. Sparrow still isn’t used to not having unlimited funds, and is used to blowing hundreds on new clothes, booze and whatever the hell they want. It’s been quite a steep learning curve, but they’re slowly adjusting. 

Which is more important – money or doing something they love?: Something they love, every time. 

SECRETS:

Phobias: N/A

Life goals: To own a house, with windows and a white picket fence ( and maybe to have somebody to share that with ) . 

Greatest fears: Losing someone they love, anything happening to their siblings. 

Most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him/her: In Kindergarten Josiah pulled down their pants in front of the entire class so all the kids saw their bare butt. Sparrow vowed never to be that humiliated again. 

Something they’ve never told anyone: They wished it was them that was hurt back in Texas, as that would mean they wouldn’t have to come home. 

Biggest regret: Abandoning Marcos. 

Police/Criminal/Legal record: Messy, but they’re across state lines now and hopefully remain anonymous. There are a few petty charges of vandalism, trespassing and being drunk and disorderly, but they were never charged with anything severe. That doesn’t mean they weren’t guilty of it.

Vices: Smoking - Sparrow has a rather nasty nicotine addiction. 

PREFERENCES:

Hobbies: Street art, listening to nineties music, dying their hair. 

Favorite color: Pink

Favorite smell: Wet paint, gasoline, burning. 

Favorite food: Breakfast burritos

Favorite book: The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

Favorite movie: Pulp Fiction

Favorite song: Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana

Coffee or tea?: Coffee

Favorite type of weather: Grey, overcast, bleak - just like their personality really. 

Most prized possession: A sweater which belonged to Marcos, which still holds a hint of his cologne. 

Most used word or phrase?: Fuck

[misstrashchan]

Since @im-the-king-of-the-ocean did a post about what TMA fear entities the RWBY characters are aligned/avatars of, I’ve been itching to do one myself because as a result of overlapping hyper fixations I think about this A LOT

The basic concept is that avatars in TMA become what they fear most or embrace a fear they have developed the most complex relationship with that plays into their motivations and drive as a character. What negative impulses they have to constantly fight themselves on, the shape of the monster that lives in their heart.

To quote the RWBY song Fear, “But our greatest fear will be realised, if we fall and lose ourselves to fear, we’ll become what we’ve feared all our lives” yeah that’s a very loose definition of what becoming an avatar is.

Since MAG s5 has proven that you can be an avatar of more than one fear, (Like Martin serving both the Eye and the Lonely) some of the RWBY characters might have more than one, but I’ll try to limit it to two to avoid getting complicated, but at the end of the day it’s all fear soup, we might categorise them according to Robert Smirke’s 14, but they all bleed into one another, like Gerard’s colour analogy in 111:

GERARD

I always think it helps to imagine them like colours. The edges bleed together, and you can talk about little differences: “oh, that’s indigo, that’s more lilac”, but they’re both purple. I mean, I guess there are technically infinite colours, but you group them together into a few big ones. A lot of it’s kind of arbitrary. I mean, why are navy blue and sky blue both called blue, when pink’s an entirely different colour from red? Y’know? I don’t know, that’s just how it works.

And like colours, some of these powers, they feed into or balance each other. Some really clash, and you just can’t put them together. I mean, you could see them all as just one thing, I guess, but it would be pretty much meaningless, y’know, like… like trying to describe a… shirt by talking about the concept of colour.

O-Of course, with these things it’s not a simple spectrum, y’know, it’s more like –

ARCHIVIST

An infinite amorphous blob of terror bleeding out in every direction at once.

GERARD

Now you’re getting it.

ARCHIVIST

Like colours, but if colours hated me. Got it. 

Ruby Rose: The End. The fear of death itself, uncaring and unstoppable. Man this was hard to think about but I have a lot of Big Feelings about this one. Initially I really, really wanted to give Ruby the Eye simply because “can laser beam monsters with their eyeballs once they become powerful enough” and there is a fascinating overlap in how the Beholding powers and Silver Eyes function in the same way, (especially in how Cinder being exposed to the Silver Eyes fills her with an overpowering fear and reopens old wounds from trauma that have never properly healed; which is VERY similar in the psychological affect Jon’s has on his victims when he Beholds them) they’re both direct enemies/opposites to the Dark that expose their enemies/victims true nature and destroying them in the process at times. Only one feeds on fear and the trauma of others while the other feeds off of hope and love (Gerard says there’s no such thing as an avatar of hope and love, clearly he’s never heard of Ruby). 

But nope! The fear and nature of the Beholding just doesn’t really match with Ruby at all. She isn’t driven by a need of knowledge, nor does she fear being watched, followed or having her secrets exposed. The End though? Death itself? Ruby outright states that’s her biggest fear in volume 5 to Oscar “It doesn’t matter if you’re standing in Salem’s way or not. She’ll kill anyone. And that, scares me most of all” to me Ruby’s fear of death itself is projected onto Salem here, I think. It’s uncaring, unstoppable, it doesn’t discriminate, and it could come for the people she cares about at any time. What matters though is the context she says this is in explaining her motives to Oscar. Her whole life has been shaped by her inability to process death, her relationship with grief, all starting with the tragic and abrupt death of her mother Summer as a child. She’s also surrounded by a lot of death motif too, the hooded cape, mostly wearing black, the giant grim reaper scythe. She’s the End. 

Of course, her being an Avatar of the End means having to imagine the worst version of Ruby, one that is fully consumed by that fear. Avatars of the End are not malicious or destructive in nature but instead are… very apathetic. They don’t need to seek out victims to feed off of, nor do they have a ritual, because the End comes for all. And that fits with what Ruby would be like if that fear fully consumed her. It’s more or less established in vol6 during the apathy arc when she tries so hard to fight against their influence and how horrified she is when everyone around her falls prey to it. Giving up, not caring, accepting the inevitable demise of everyone and yourself? Ruby was terrified of that. And when looking at the vol8 opening where we see Ruby being dragged down by what looks like the arms of the apathy? She fights the hardest against it because it’s what she’s most afraid of, but because of her inability to process her grief properly is ultimately what will make her the most vulnerable to it when she’s pushed to her limit. All Salem needs to do to break Ruby is to remind her of Summer’s death. Not even what actually happened to her or how she died, just the death itself. Hell, the first time we see Ruby in the Red trailer, she’s at her mother’s grave, the first verse in Red like Roses that’s about Ruby “Red like Roses fills my dreams and brings me to the place you rest” in which we come to understand that the “Red like roses” lyrics in both part one and two of the song is referring to Summer’s abrupt death which Ruby apparently dreams about, which brings to mind Oliver Banks, our most prominent Avatar of the End, whose first statement to The Magnus Institute in 011 (underneath the fake alias of “Antonio Blake”) is concerning how he started dreaming about the deaths of others, which he didn’t begin to take seriously- until it was his father that he saw in his dream. Upon which Oliver realised how terrifying death really was and that fear began to consume him. 

Okay I’ve probably gone off long enough about this but yeah. Ruby is the End. I mean, she also just got a song in the v7 soundtrack called Until the End 

Weiss Schnee: The Lonely. The fear of isolation, of being completely cut off and alone or disconnected from the rest of society. I don’t really have to go too deeply into this one. It’s pretty cut and dry. “The loneliest of all”? And the Schnees basically are the Lukas family. Actually thinking about it the Lukas’ are actually somewhat better? They were the only ones in the whole of TMA that understood to raise a child to be an heir/avatar of their fear they needed room to reject it or actively choose it, even if that had an 80% success rate. Both are still awful though. (Damn, I can’t believe Jaques is an actively worse parent than an eldritch fear avatar)

When Weiss comes back to Atlas in v4 she’s more aware of her loneliness than ever, feels more aware of how she and atlas high society as a whole is disconnected from the rest of the world and its struggles. Whitley commenting on her being in her room for months implies she’s purposefully been isolating herself during this time as well, in order to avoid her family members “A pleasure to see you out of your room for a change” (sidenote; the fact that whenever Whitley shows up it always catches Weiss off guard, like she didn’t even notice his presence until he wanted her too. That’s. That’s a BIG Lonely thing. Given Peter’s siblings eventually ran away and he was the only heir I can imagine Peter being what Whitley would end up like if no one intervenes)

I’d say they might also be an possibility of the Stranger due to her struggling to find her own identity and inability to recognise oneself, but that can be an aspect of the Lonely too, as we see when Martin is in a house that is a domain of the Lonely in s5, and is unable to recognise himself in the mirror or recall who he is.

What I do have to say about this is it’s pretty interesting considering at this point in the show Weiss’ relationship with loneliness is actually somewhat healthy and something she can use to relate to and help others. She understands other people’s loneliness, that Blake in v5 needed space and in time she’d come back, and Weiss would be ready to be there for her when she did. And she also understands Yang’s loneliness in the same volume and that she needed someone there to support her.

“But you’re right. I don’t know loneliness like you do. I have my own version. And I bet  Blake has her own version too.” 

Speaking of Blake…

 Blake Belladonna: The Stranger, I Do Not Know You. The fear that you cannot trust the perception of yourself or of others. The creeping sense that something isn’t right. I considered the Spiral, but the Stranger and the Spiral overlap more than any other two entities so I’m just gonna go with the Stranger. Especially with her semblance being a metaphor for disassociation, a coping mechanism for the abuse and gaslighting from her relationship with Adam being kind of the biggest thing here, since the Stranger and Spiral deal with that a lot. She literally creates false copies of herself, shadow clones which she uses to feint, distract and evade. As well as statues/mannequins when dust is involved, which the Stranger is known for manifesting. Her fighting style centres around misdirection, stealth and fooling people’s senses. She also used to be part of the White Fang, known within Sienna and Adam’s faction to wear the masks of monsters, appearing anonymous. And she literally disguises her identity as a Faunus in order to escape the White Fang and enroll at Beacon. Blake at first was hesitant to trust and rely on the others in the earlier volumes, to let her guard down, and when she finally did, the worst happened and her fears were proven right. In s2 Jonathan becomes more paranoid due to being marked and in close daily proximity to the Stranger (as Not-Sasha), much like how Blake in v2 becomes far more paranoid and less trusting of her team. She also does seek knowledge or answers even at the cost of her wellbeing, which is an Eye thing, but Blake’s desire for knowledge and answers isn’t really consistent or important enough with her character and motives beyond vol2 for me personally to consider her an Avatar of it, but I do think she is Eye aligned. 

Yang Xiao Long- The Eye. The Ceaseless Watcher, It Knows You, as well as The Hunt. For the Eye, the first time we see Yang is her trying to find information on her mother, and we see Raven in bird form at the beginning too, as she has followed Yang her whole life, never actually interacting or doing anything for her, just… watching her. We learn in vol2 that her search for answers surrounding her mother has been a part of her entire life, almost overwhelmingly so to the point where in her childhood she and Ruby nearly lost their lives to the Grimm when she decided to journey to a shack in the woods she thought would lead to clues in finding her mother. She is adamant because of that experience to never let her need for the truth and answers control her, but it is a need that is always there. When she finally meets Raven, she’s encouraged to “start questioning everything she knows” which, she does. Questioning and knowledge is a big part of Yang’s character, even now. She’s the one who questions Ozpin the most, as well as Raven herself, and in the recent volumes is the one who challenges and questions Ruby’s leadership the most. There’s also a moment in vol7 of her drawing parallels between herself and Robyn and relating to her when she says “I won’t stop until I find out the truth” Her being the one to take the relic of knowledge is hugely significant in this too, especially given the context that she acquires it right after confronting her mother, getting the answers she’s searched for her whole life, holding an artefact possessing infinite knowledge, and she sinks to her knees and cries because there is no sense of closure, that anything is better because of her knowing who and what her mother is, and that her choosing this path might have cost her ever having a relationship with Raven (which is more Raven’s fault of course, and Yang knows that, but that’s not how she’s feeling at that exact moment). 

For the Hunt, this one’s a bit simpler. The thrill seeker aspect to Yang’s character and motives in becoming a huntress and enjoying the chase and fighting in of itself. There’s another element in that as most Avatars of the Hunt start out as monster hunters who then develop the need to hunt and kill monsters, and gradually what qualifies as “monster” starts to blur more and more as they become consumed by the need and thrill of the chase and hunt itself. I bring this up because in vol3 Blake draws parallels between Yang and Adam after she is disqualified for attacking and injuring Mercury, worries with how familiar this all feels and that Yang might turn out the same as him (and just for the record Adam is a full blown Avatar of the Hunt, and the Slaughter too most like) 

 “I had someone very dear to me change. It wasn’t in an instant, it was gradual. Little choices that began to pile up. He told me not to worry. At first they were accidents, then it was self-defence. Before long, even I began to think he was right. This is all just… very familiar.” What Blake describes is… kind of similar to Basira’s relationship with Daisy with how Daisy, an Avatar of the Hunt, would justify to Basira and explain away how the violence and murders she committed as being for the greater good. 

Also just one more, because I have to

 Pyrrha Nikos: WebwebWEBWEB. Hoo boi Pyrrha is the Webbiest of Web Avatars as they come. Her whole character’s themes surrounding destiny, control and agency, feeling like her whole life had been decided for her, the fact she’d been blessed with incredible talents and opportunities meant she was supposed to be a huntress, the fact her talent as a world champion meant she was placed on a pedestal without her realising, becoming separate from the people who placed her there in the first place, that Ozpin and his inner circle tell her she has been chosen as the next Fall Maiden, but the method in which she must become so might result in the loss of her identity, that though they ultimately leave the choice to her do pressure and manipulate her into it. The idea of destiny being a predetermined fate you can’t escape is Pyrrha’s greatest fear, and rejects that idea in that she will not let her life be manipulated but will be the one to take control it instead, which is manifested in her having a semblance that she uses to subtly control and manipulate her surroundings. As Cinder puts it, “People assume she’s fated for victory when really she’s really taken fate into her own hands”.  

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Oliver valentine

Ooh, thank you for this one anon, I don't get to talk about Oliver very much these days (or at least, I haven't in a while, though him being back thankfully provides reason for me to talk about him more again).

Why I like them: He is a brilliantly complex and IMO often very underrated character, played by a truly talented actor. He's very deeply flawed, and in a lot of ways (especially in his early episodes) not a very good person, but he's very interesting to watch and since his second stint you can tell he's really trying.

Why I don't: He can be an utter asshole sometimes. The whole 'swapping his exam results with Penny's' fiasco comes to mind.

Favourite episode: Don't make me pick. Just don't. He's had so many brilliant episodes.

Favourite season: Honestly, I'd have to say probably series 20, even though he was only in the first 13 episodes, because his brain injury arc was incredible.

Favourite line: His speech trying to convince Henrik to let him work at the hospital in S23E29 (last week's episode) really got me. "I was told that I'd never live alone again, but I do. I was told that I'd never practice medicine again, but I will!"

(Raise your hands, fellow disabled Holby fans: how many of us nearly cried at that? Just me? Yeah, probably just me.)

Also loved his line to Jac when she asked him why he didn't go and work at a hospital that he hadn't been shot in the head at: "It appears being shot in the head somewhat limited my options." It was just so refreshing getting to see a disabled character make a disability joke on Holby, rather than the show relentlessly mocking them for humour yet somehow refusing to let them joke about their own disability (*cough*Jason*cough*).

He also has some great lines in The Prisoner. Him saying "Who could forget you?" to Jac is iconic. And does him quoting 'Higher' by The Saturdays count as a line, because if so, I'm including that too.

Edit: OH and how could I forget “Love means loss to me, and I can’t stand losing you, ever.” 😭

Favourite outfit: See my previous points about not paying attention to the clothes the men on Holby wear very much, haha. Saying that, can I count those pyjamas he wore a lot while he was in hospital after he was shot by Fredrik? Because those did look like really cosy pyjamas.

OTP: I'm boring, I really only ship him with his wives. So Ollie/Zosia and Ollie/Tara for me, thanks.

BroTP: I LOVE his friendship with Jac.

Headcanon: I know I say he's bi and genderqueer all the time, but. he's bi and genderqueer. More specifically, regarding his bisexuality, I see him as having had quite a few male crushes and even having slept with men under the guise of "experimentation" throughout his life, then finally coming to terms with his sexuality after a grief-fuelled one-night stand with a man after Tara's death.

Unpopular opinion: That thing people in the fandom did, where before they viewed him as a "cool funny relatable character", and then the MINUTE he became disabled everyone started calling him a "precious uwu flower child"? That wasn't cute. At all. It was just weird and infantilising and ableist.

A wish: I just want him and Zosia to get back together and be happy. I know Ollie's obviously not in a great place right now (both in the sense that he hasn't dealt with his brain injury as well as he wants to think he has, and I think he's probably struggling with the psychological trauma too), but I want some kind of happy or at least hopeful ending for him.

An oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen: I don't think this will happen, but if the thing in the trailer implying he's hit a new partner leads into them making him an out-and-out domestic abuser, YIKES. I think it will be more of a controversial-grey-area type of thing where he lashed out once on impulse because of emotional dysregulation, though - a really shitty and utterly unjustifiable thing to do, but not necessarily out of any intent to cause any harm (which would be the difference between his behaviour, and, say, Isaac, or Tina from Casualty). So hopefully they won't actually go there.

5 words to best describe them: In the opposite to Kian or Roxanna (who were hard to describe because they were barely fleshed out), Ollie is too complex for me to find 5 words that do him justice! Um. Outgoing, insecure, selfish (a little), I know I used 'passionate' already for Ange but can I use it for Ollie too because it does fit. That's only 4 words, but I tried.

My nickname for them: Same situation as with Dom - technically Ollie is a nickname, and I call him that, but I don't have anything unique I call him lol.

[bubblesyoh]

Calamitous

Two times they apologize to each other and three times they are so in love they can't even fool one another.

1.

When Alex opens the door, he is not expecting Michael. They don't greet each other; they don't say a word. Minutes pass and they both just stand there, Michael with his shoulders hunched over and Alex trying to understand what's going on.

"Would you like me to leave?" Michael finally asks, voice barely above a whisper.

Alex shrugs, not knowing the answer to the question just yet, that is until he is reaching a hand to Michael when the other looks over his shoulder, probably contemplating if he is welcomed or not.

"I need coffee," Alex says opening the door in invitation, pausing when Michael makes no move to join him. "Are you coming?"

"With you?" Michael asks again.

"You look like you could use a cup too."

For a moment there Michael looks at him with grief, jaw working up and down, but no words come out. He takes a step back, his shoulders tense in that way Alex knows it means he was about to run.

"Don't you dare," he warns, and Michael deflates instantly. He raises his hands in surrender and they both sigh.

For all of Michael's drama, he was never much of a crier. It was different to see him bare his emotions so openly, his eyes red and swollen told a million and one things. In less than five minutes he had two cups of coffee in his hands, but Michael still hadn't moved. Alex had never seen him so still, not even when sleeping, it that wasn't right. The silence, the stillness, the obedience, it was such a foreign concept with Michael. Who was this scared creature in his kitchen?

Alex opened his mouth to tell him it was okay, that he wasn't mad. But he was mad, he was hurt, he was tired and angry. He makes the mistake of glancing at Michael once more and instead takes a deep breath, counting to ten to calm himself. He repeats the process a few times, then shakes his head.

"Coffee," he offers as an olive branch, pointing to the chair for Michael to sit.

They drink the coffee in complete silence. One of those heavy ones, full of tension and heartbreak, full of unspoken words. Michael fidgets not long after, Alex can see him try to find the words for whatever the reason that brought him to his house.

"I'm worried you won't be safe." Michael intones carefully. "This alien business will never stop, Alex. And you are right in the middle of it all."

Alex closes his eyes and snorts in incredulity. He almost laughs, but Michael is giving him a wounded look so he elaborates. "I am right where I want to be, Guerin. I can take care of myself."

Michael reaches for his cup of coffee, probably wanting something to keep him busy. "I wasn't in a good headspace that day."

"I know you weren't." Alex agrees right away, "that doesn't mean it didn't hurt me."

"I was cruel. I can stay here and apologize forever. Maybe it was easy to love Maria, but I never loved her the way I love you. I can't promise to never hurt you again, but I promise I will try my best not to."

Alex nods, there's little more he can do, he nods and doesn't say a word and so Michael continues.

"It didn't felt right to be with her, but it helped me, Alex. It helped me to see what I truly want and where I belong. For the first time, we are having an honest conversation. I am trying for you and me. For us, and I will give you all the time and space you need."

How many times have they tried to have this talk and failed? It always ends up in accusations and petty words. How much they hurt each other, how they are not good together, how it was not the right time.

"Thank you, Michael." He says quietly, voice cracking on the last word. He hears Michael slide off the chair. He puts his hands on Alex's shoulder, sliding his arms around him. Alex resists for half a second, and then gives up, burying his face in Michael's neck.

Michael holds him until they are both breathing normally, and then he looks at him. He puts a hand to the side of his face, cupping it, and Alex leans into his touch. "I don't know how to fix it, I don't even know where to start. And I understand if you'd rather not take a chance on us, but if you're in, so am I. I don't want us to keep hurting each other, I want us to grow and learn and be happy together."

As promises for the future went, this one wasn't much, but at the same time, it was everything. It was nothing like the promises they had made once when young and foolishly in love. But unlike those promises, Alex believed they might be able to keep this one. After all, Michael's voice still makes the warm feelings in his chest bloom. The wrinkles around his eyes, the soft smiles; it makes the longing in Alex's heart grow stronger.

"I miss you, Guerin. So damn much."

Michael is snotty and tear-stained, and he wipes his nose on his shirt sleeve, but when he looks at Alex, he is smiling and is the most beautiful thing Alex has ever seen in his life.

2.

The cold sweats and tangled sheets. Looming shadows, blood, and screams. The feeling of his heart pounding in his throat as he blinks into the darkness of his room, the all-encompassing terror heavy on his bones. He is a prisoner in his own body. He can't breathe, can't even think. All he knows is alarms are sounding off in every corner of his brain, the memories still so alive and vivid in his mind that he doesn't know where he is for a few seconds.

"Shit," Michael whispers, pressing his hands against his face as he sits back on his bed. His heart hasn't calmed yet, his head is pounding as fast as his heart, his stuttering breath stumbling even as he tries to breathe long and deep. It feels almost impossible to fill his lungs with the oxygen he so desperately needs.

Part of him knows that he is awake, that it was a dream. However, Alex's blood still feels warm slipping through his fingers and the weight of his body feels so real and heavy in Michael's arms. A whimper slips through his lips and it's like that is all he needed to let go of the gripping pain in his chest, tears scorching hot against his cold skin.

There is still a feeling of uneasiness that eats him from inside and that'll stay with him until he sees Alex, alive and breathing. He knows he will not get any more sleep, Alex's bloody face imprinted on the back of his eyelids every time he closes his eyes. Alex is not here with Michael, he is home. To far to make sure he is safe and sound, too far away to touch, too far away for Michael to make sure he is still alive.

He grabs his phone and all he can do is stare and wonder if he should or shouldn't call Alex. Well, the answer was simple. He shouldn't. It's late, and he doesn't want to disturb him. But he wants to. He wants to call him and hear his voice and make sure he is in one piece. Michael wants to forget about the blood and the images that still haunt him.

Taking in a deep breath, Michael closes his eyes and calls Alex. The wait feels almost like an eternity but it also feels too soon and by the time he answers, Michael wasn't ready. He jerks upright as Alex's voice comes through the phone's speakers, a whimper escaping his mouth in desperation.

"Michael?" Alex asks, his voice sounding apprehensive.

.

Alex wakes to the sound of his phone buzzing and the rustle of bedsheets and his heartbeat tripping. He wakes confused and fumbles to answer, panic gripping him the way it always has done when he receives a call at night. There is a shuddery noise, something like a sob, and Alex closes his eyes. "Michael?" he murmurs. "Just breathe, sweetheart."

Michael hiccups out a sob, but he does as he's told, breathes until his breath evens out, and is steady. Until Alex thinks that maybe he's slipping off to sleep. His fingers hitch from want to hold Michael together, trying to undo what he just went through.

"I'm sorry," Michael rasps out and Alex huffs. "I don't want to talk about it." He says before Alex can ask.

"What can I do?"

Michael is quiet for a long time. "I don't... I don't know what I want."

Alex closes his eyes and brings the covers tightly around him. He starts with humming, but when he catches himself he is whispering, voice slow and velvety. His voice was croaky with exhaustion, but soft and slow and sweet. Michael's breathing grew heavy, and for a brief moment, they were seventeen again, the two of them against everything and everyone. Alex finished with a note of finality in his voice, a thin smile on his lips when the only thing he could hear on the line was Michael softly breathing.

3.

"I do not have poor taste," Kyle immediately retorts with indignation.

"Is that the animated version or the live-action version?" Isobel asked while making herself comfortable in the armchair.

"The animated version," Kyle answered before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "You know, the superior version."

"Leave me to die," Michael moans, but it was clearly not serious and Alex rolls his eyes, while Kyle grabs the remote, pointedly leaving Netflix hovering over Die Hard, causing the trailer to play. "Why would you let him pick the movie?"

Alex, patient as ever, shrugs, leaning his crutches against the wall and taking a seat on the sofa. In the dim light cast by the TV's screen and the numerous lamps dotting the room, Michael appears softer than normal. His eyes, usually wild and tired, are gentle and warm. It is a pleasant change of pace, Alex muses, to be able to witness a Michael so open and vulnerable, to see him enjoying himself and having fun.

"Because it's his turn," Isobel offers in response as she reaches across to pluck the remote out of Kyle's hands and Kyle raises his hand above his head, that is until Isobel looks at him for a moment, a wicked glint in her eye and he gives her the remote, wrapping himself entirely up in a blanket in defeat.

"Monopoly was also his idea and you remember how well that went, right?" Michael says elbowing Alex in the side to get his attention. "It was a disaster, I thought Max was going to cry."

Who would have thought something as simple and cheesy as a friends night would be exactly what they needed? Tonight is just the four of them, but it's more than enough. It's a sacrifice Alex is more than happy to take part in. To see Michael cozy and happy, cocooned in Alex's oversized knitted hoodie is the best he's felt in a long time.

Isobel teases Michael for a good part of the night, Michael lets her and he even cracks a smile at Kyle once or twice. But for Alex, the best part is to snuggle on the couch, a fresh cup of coffee in his hands, and looking at Michael. He was sitting on the other side of the couch, legs curled in under him and he had a blanket wrapped around his back like a cape. His hair was messy and curly and perfect. Alex could stare at him all night.

There were still clashes and squabbles among them both, but somehow it seemed to alleviate the pressure of what it was expected of their relationship. It was hard to see how much they had missed, but fun to do things they never tried together. So when Michael catches Alex staring at him, neither of them looks away or runs, instead they share a smile, serene and carefree.

"You both need to focus on the movie," Isobel mutters. "You've been staring at each other for the last fifteen minutes, it's movie night, not stare at your boyfriend night."

"I was just admiring the view," Michael says with a wink, grinning wildly and peppering a wet kiss to Alex's cheek, neither of them feeling the need to label their relationship. The first few gatherings they had, there were always side glances and whispered words at how close he and Michael seemed to be. They didn't understand that Alex & Michael have been best friends for a long time, a journey that may have been punctuated with misery and distress, but also a friendship that survived it all.

"If you weren't such a dick, I would actually say that you can be quite sweet," Kyle mutters under his breath.

Around halfway through the movie, the two had migrated closer to each other; settled comfortably against one another. Alex does not remember falling asleep, but when he wakes up the room is dark, he is warm and comfortable and Michael is asleep with his head on his thigh. He can hear Isobel snickering quietly, but the lull of sleep is too heavy for him to care about anything else.

4.

Michael turned towards Alex and felt a pang of guilt hit him like a bullet to the chest, it was obvious that Alex wasn't doing so well. His unfocused gaze was burning holes in the table where a small vase of plastic flowers was. One of his hands massaging his thigh, probably trying to ease away the pain of a lost limb. Maybe it was the wooded coffee shop walls or just the dark floors, but he appeared to be a shade or two paler than normal.

Sometimes it was easy to brush aside the fact that Alex could get hurt. That words and actions hurt as much as physical blows. Alex didn't react when Michael took the seat in front of him, his eyes remained glued on the same spot. Up close he looked even worse, dark bruises around his eyes remnant of lack of sleep. There are days when a far-off look appears in his eyes, he gets quiet for a little too long, gets tired, and closed off. Those are the days where they usually stay inside, huddle together for warmth and comfort, and read a book together.

"I'm fine," Alex tells him, now hunched over on the edge of the table.

"You're not fine," Michael answers back, worrying his bottom lip.

"I'm fucking fine." He whispers-yells with a hitch to his voice.

"It's okay not to be. I don't expect you to be fine. I want you to heal, and you don't rush that." Alex slumps over, dropping his face into his hand with a shaky breath, and Michael continues. "You're allowed to be upset, and you know you can always come to me if you want to. Always."

Alex breath stutters for a few seconds, and he finally glances at Michael. Such a sharp change from the Alex Manes that Michael is used seeing. "Yeah," Alex acknowledges, looking tiny and worn out, a smile on his face, though it was too forced, too painful to look at.

Michael wants nothing more than to hold him with everything he has, to reassure him and cradle him. Instead, he reaches across the table, covering Alex's hand with his own.

"I'm right here. You're right here too. We are both here and we are getting there."

Alex glances in his direction with apprehensive eyes, almost like he is choosing his next words carefully, afraid they will scare Michael away. "I'm sorry, Guerin, for every single time."

Michael wants to ask him why he is sorry, the words are on the tip of his tongue, ready to be spoken when he understands it. He closes his eyes, but he couldn't quite shut off his mind and thoughts. Not when Alex's breaths were growing just the faintest bit uneven with emotion that he wouldn't dare to show just to anyone.

Michael took a moment to compose himself. "Surprisingly enough," he said, "I've gotten used to it."

"I'm sorry." Alex winced and apologized again, almost uncertainly this time. He looked worried, the corners of his mouth pulled down and his eyebrows pinched towards each other.

"I did not mean it like that, Alex. I just never felt you owed me an apology. When we were together, was when I felt the happiest. When you left, I always thought I deserved it. But now that you're apologizing, I realize that maybe I needed you to do it, so thank you, Alex, I will treasure those words."

Alex relaxed just the faintest bit more. He nods and Michael looks at him, this man is the most precious person he has ever laid his eyes on. So, right in the middle of a coffee shop, between the smell of roasted coffee beans and vanilla and strawberry cupcakes, Michael leans over the table, and brushes a soft kiss to Alex's cheek, stroking his thumb across his cheekbones, before pressing another kiss to the tip of his nose.

"I mean it, we didn't deserve the shit we gave each other," Alex whispers in his ear, reciprocating the favor with a small kiss to Michael's temple, lips lingering on Michael's skin for a couple of seconds. "We reached a point in our relationship that we don't have to pretend anymore."

"I know, I forgive you," Michael mumbles back just as softly.

5.

For Michael, falling is a habit. Despite his tendency to act in anger, lashing out that seems to hold as little to none forethought, he's a patient man. He falls, he gets back up, and he repeats that cycle as many times as necessary, he does what needs to be done. Someone else, anyone else, getting hurt because they stuck too close to him, shouldn't be an issue. It's to be expected. And yet Michael's hands are shaking, his fingers soaked in blood.

It was a clean wound. A lot of blood, but uncomplicated; the bullet tore through Alex's arm cleanly. Usually, they were good at avoiding serious injuries. Normally Michael doesn't have to drench his fingers in Alex's blood and feel him shiver as his body goes into shock. It wasn't life-threatening. Alex's going to hurt like hell, and there's going to be a scar, but the gunshot wound had mostly stopped bleeding by the time they arrived at the hospital.

"Michael," Alex called.

Michael recoiled slightly. "Shut the hell up!"

He wanted to hold it together, he really did, but everything seemed to hit him at once, all the stress and fear and emotions flooding him like a wave. Every time he lifts his hands and sees the blood, his fingers tremble. He knows that the wound is minor, Alex will not die. But Michael's hands won't stop shaking, he's smearing blood everywhere, and Alex's reassuring smile is going to give him nightmares. The adrenaline seemed to drain from him, his shoulders slacking as tears rose to his eyes.

Alex throws a glance at him. He gives him a once-over, probably noticing for the first time his blood drenching Michael's hands and shirt. "You should go home and try to rest."

"I will not get some rest!" Michael snaps, realizing one of his hands has curled tightly into Alex's shirt. He yanks his hand away. "You– you just almost died in my arms! You were shot in front of me!" Michael trips backward to avoid Alex's hand reaching for him.

"Hey," Alex breathed, as he offered a hand out for Michael to take. As carefully as he could, Michael took a seat next to Alex on the too-small hospital bed and curled his fingers around Alex's. Alex took a bullet for him. A literal bullet and he could have died. Michael opens his mouth, then shuts it silently.

"Alex," Michael sighed tiredly, and he wasn't sure where he wanted to go with that. He wanted to scream, scold, cry, and kiss Alex all at once. His heart was still pounding too loud in his chest and breathing caught somewhere between his mouth and his lungs. Alex's fingertips are now resting feather-light beneath his chin, brushing a lock of hair away from Michael's cheek with his thumb. "I want to go home with you," Michael says very quietly.

"I love you," Alex responds back, his thumb drifting down to skim along Michael's bottom lip.

"What?" Michael questions. It was not fair of Alex to say those words when Michael was not able to collect his thoughts properly. It was a low blow to say it after the situation they just went through. If this was a few months ago, Michael may have been inclined to think such a declaration to be manipulation, now he knows it to be true.

"I said, I love you," Alex insisted. Neither of them had confessed their love for one another, as of yet but there was no denying it. Michael knew he loved Alex. He loved the man sitting in a hospital bed, tired and bloody and still beautiful, more than his own life. And in turn, Alex loved him as much.

Michael could feel his nose and eyes sting once more, every ounce of worry, fear, and anger finally bleed out. For a short while, every single one of his previous emotions was replaced with an overwhelming swell of love for Alex. The phantom sensation of being unable to breathe squeezes around his throat, and he puts a palm flat on his chest, forces in a deep breath with his eyes closed. It's okay. They are okay.

"You don't play fair," Michael let out, wet and strangled. He leaned over to brush his mouth over Alex's for a light kiss. Michael went back for another, one that was just a little harder but carried all the adoration he felt for Alex. He tried to pull away, but Alex brought his good hand to cradle the back of Michael's head, and held him there. "But just so you know, I love you back."

Alex's embrace was the only one capable of banishing the nightmares and sorrows. The only thing able to remove the ugliness that always clung and whispered to him. Michael would be lying if he said that he wasn't trembling with the emotions clawing up his throat. He'd be lying if he tried to deny how badly he wanted to curl into Alex and shed a few tears.

"I'm sorry I scared you. Everything is okay, Michael. I'm here."

Michael nuzzles into his neck, pressing warm lips there. Trailed them down the side of Alex's neck where they stopped and then just breathed Alex in. He snuggled in closer, unwilling to let go of Alex just yet. He lowered his hand to Alex's shoulder, thumb reaching up to caress the exposed skin above the blood-covered bandage.

There was no doubt, they worked well together. It had taken time, but they had learned, through various trials and errors, how to cohabitate, but still how to give each other their own space when necessary. To be there for one another, but not to be possessive. To just let go, to be happy and in love. Michael and Alex finally learned how to be together, how to love each other forever and ever.

[musedblues]

Born To Love You [Part: 2]

summary: When Gwilym ropes you into a lie, the truth becomes painfully obvious. When Joe makes things harder, there's no telling if he even has a clue.

a/n: Lads. I can't possibly thank you lot enough all the lovely wonderful feedback. 💖 I hope you'll enjoy the second installment of all this drama! Please don't be afraid to keep sharing your thoughts, feelings, and/or predictions?! And if I forgot to tag you, or you'd like to be tagged, let me know!

w/c: 4k

Part 3

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"Oh my God." You chuckled, raking your eyes over Gwilym's figure. He was dressed in ivory clogs, velvet bell-bottoms, a silk button-up, and a wig of black curls. You couldn't help but giggle.

"What, does it look bad?"

"No, no... not bad!" You eased, laughing still. "Just... so not you!" You nodded his way. Olive clung to your side, trying to figure out if the man standing before you was really her father. He really did look like Brian May, didn't he?

"Well, that is the goal," Gwilym waved you to follow close behind, the sound of his clogs heavy against the concrete floor. He rested his palm on the small of your back, then. The way he did when guiding you through big crowds or supermarkets anytime Olive was in your clutch. So it felt normal. But you all too suddenly realized the act was officially starting.

Ben was walking toward the trailers too, shrugging on a dapper camel leather coat when he noticed you.

"Well, Hello! Is the famous Mrs. Lee really gracing us with her presence on our set, today?" The striking blonde flashed a brilliant smile your way as he stepped in time with your fake husband.

So now, not only were you going by a name that wasn't yours at all, but you were famous for it? You realized then that if you wanted to change your mind, to confess, it was already too late. There was no time to heave a sigh, you were already playing along...

"Hello, Ben. Nice wig." You rose your brows, noticing the strands of blonde around his pretty face. Long hair suited him.

"That's not fair!" Gwilym chuckled. You let out a playful wince because no matter how hard you tried to take Gwilym seriously with a 70's perm, you couldn't.

"It's the clogs, mate." Ben joined forces with you, giving you a sly smirk. You just had to snicker once more, because Gwilym looked like a completely different person.

"I'm to meet Anita tomorrow, you know?" Gwilym fretted in a high pitch.

"Aye, then don't wear the clogs." Ben countered.

Even Olive giggled like she was in on the joke. Gwilym scrunched his nose in her direction as everyone went on poking fun at him.

After last night, neither of you addressed his slip up, or your decision to stoop to his level. You simply went on with some kind of unspoken understanding that if anyone asked, you'd give the same false answers about your relationship status, every time. That had never been true to this degree. Till now you'd given varied answers, revolving around the truth of your relationship. Now, you were flat out lying. Now you were pretending to be married.

So, you'd been nervous, prepared for some kind of overblown press conference where this new group of friends would dig for details about your life as a couple. But you hadn't seen many of them yet, and the ones you had were busy anyway, lost in their own roles.

You spent a while patiently lingering in Gwils trailer while he was called to set, hoping your time here would remain just as easy going as it had been. When he came back for a costume change, you left the space to Gwil, and let Olive wander around behind the scenes, meandering slowly by her side as she stumbled every few steps or so. And like she knew where she was off to all along, the girl led you right toward some of her father's castmates, who were mucking about on a makeshift stage.

Joe was doing some dance that had Ben doubled over with laughter. It was the first time you saw his perm in all its wonder as he jumped from a platform, noticing you. He was already smiling at the way he'd made Ben laugh, but his grin reached his eyes, crinkling a little when your gazes met. When you smiled back, unabashedly, you realized that you were treading very dangerous waters.

You'd been so blindsided by Gwilym's blunder that you'd nearly forgotten just how dazzling Joe's presence was.

Don't look right at him. There's nothing to worry about. You told yourself. He was just apart of the cast.

"Hello, ladies." Joe mused, sauntering toward you as Ben shook off his laughter and followed close behind. Olive reached out to Joe, and attempted to say his name after you greeted him kindly. You'd spent the morning listening to her practice the words she'd already perfected, and hoped a new one would stick out among the few others.

You scoped Olive up out of the way as both actors stopped before you.

"No, no, say Ben! Like before!" Ben coaxed your child to like him the best. She almost had said his name the night before. Now, Olive listened to Ben's plea with a bashful grin, and then shook her head, deciding against obliging the blonde.

"Joe!" Olive leaned away from you, pointing to the actor whose name she spoke clear as a bell.

"Oh my God! Yes! That's me!" Joe laughed, giving Ben a playful jab to really establish his excitement.

"Joe." Olive giggled at these antics and said his name perfectly a second time.

"She'll never stop now." You laugh in realization. You and Gwil called them 'words of the day.' She only knew about four others, but once she'd gotten one just right, she'd say it for hours on end.

"And here I've worked so hard to be your favorite." Ben shook his head at Olive, who looked at him but was still giggling and pointing to Joe. She'd clearly taken a sudden liking to him. Maybe it was his perm, you thought. Joe continued to dance around victoriously until the boy's names were called by some PA. You took the moment to rush back to Gwilym's trailer, but couldn't help and glance over your shoulder to catch one last glimpse of Joe as he frolicked the opposite direction. As he danced away, you noticed Joe looking behind too; casting a small wave you missed as you whipped your head back around and hurried away a little faster.

///

Brian May seemed more like a cheery grandfather, than the musical legend you'd known him to be through screens over the years. It was hard for you to understand that the rosy-cheeked, white-haired man with a kind smile was responsible for some of rock and rolls most iconic sounds. He was standing before you with long arms outstretched, and you'd be a fool not to embrace Brian for all it was worth.

You saved fawning over his legacy in exchange for expressing your excitement that this opportunity gave Gwilym. Your fake husband was on cloud nine at the mention of Bohemian Rhapsody, and stepping onto the set with him another morning in a row was like watching the sunrise.

The next time you saw him, he was clad in the silly black wig and a shining silver button up. Olive was still unsure how to handle seeing her father all dolled up, but she released her death grip on you as Gwilym spoke to the baby in a familiar way. He shook some of the curls out of his eyes and that scored a giggle from Olive; you practically breathed a sigh of relief. It was then, as you were successfully functioning as co-parents, that Brian May brought his lovely wife Anita into the room.

You weren't sure what Gwyilm had told Brian, but even if he'd never mentioned you at all, you knew how this scene looked. You'd seen the faces of strangers in passing as they watched you and Gwilym minding your own business, pushing a strolling through the park. Brian May and his lovely wife were looking at you and Gwilym like that now, albeit, Anita was seeing Gwilym as the younger version of her husband for the first time.

For a moment it was all gasped laughter and starry-eyed stares as Brian snapped photos of his beloved with his clone. Gwilym was a pro at bantering with the lady, almost as if his nerves leading up to this moment never existed at all. Anita spent a moment smiling at Olive in your arms, making your baby smile.

Gwilym took her from you, walking toward the craft table when Joe called his name. The sound of the man's voice caught your attention all the same. Against your better judgment, you stared past everyone and glued your eyes to the actor whose auburn curls were hidden below a giant hooded coat.

"Oh, you lucky girl. What more could you ask for?" Anita gushed. It was then you tore your gaze from Joe and watched Olive pull at a couple of Gwilym faux curls. It was a sweet sight, but Anita's pure swooning made your heart sink.

Between Gwilym and Olive, you were the picture of perfection. You appeared to have everything you'd ever wanted, but you had your sights on someone you'd never have a shot with in a million years. And for what? Just because he was so damn pretty? A pang of terrible, horrible guilt seeped into your being as you watch Brian approach Gwilym with some joke. You had everything you'd ever wanted. A whole family. How could you possibly think you deserved someone else, someone all your own? You were lucky enough as it were.

When Gwil scampered onto set, leaving you and Olive in the craft service area to mingle with the leftover stagehands, you took a deep breath and watched him walk away. You realized that even if your heart didn't hammer for the father of your child, he was always there when you needed him. And Gwilym obviously wanted you around all the same. You realized that you didn't have to be in love with him to be happy to have him.

Then and there, you decided that you were going to give this whole fake marriage deal your most real shot.

///

You traveled back to the home you'd made of your Airbnb around lunchtime, taking the long way to enjoy a pocket park you spotted a day ago. While you pushed Olive in a swing, your thoughts about your current situation kept wandering further away from logical sense as you tried to understand them.

You spent the rest of the afternoon reading books to your daughter and kicking yourself for sulking over selfish desires.

Gwilym finally arrived back long after bedtime, apologizing in a whisper when the commotion of his arrival stirred you from sleep. He looked well exhausted, rubbing a spot on the back of his neck with a wince as he kicked his shoes off.

"Come here, sit." You patted the edge of the queen-sized bed as Gwylim monitored your body language. He was a bit hesitant but because of the assured look in your eyes, he felt comfortable enough to follow your directions.

"Take that jacket off." You suggested. You'd done this once, but the circumstances were different. If Gwilym was put off now, you couldn't tell as he rid himself of a layer, only a thin white shirt between you and his tense muscles. You placed either hand on either of his shoulders and that was a green enough light for Gwilym to start talking.

He told you about his unusually long day and the little things that kept going wrong. You massaged his broad shoulders the best you could and felt his body relax under your touch.

You listened to his rambles of annoyance and exhaustion. The castmates he'd made fast friends of seemed to be beacons of bright white light over the long evening of work.

"Rami is just electric. It's impossible to feel poorly in his presence- I mean the guy just has this way about him." Gwilym laughed, humming in pleasure when your fingers dug into just the right spot of his back.

"Lucy is one lucky gal. They're a perfect match." You mentioned, slowing your massage when your fingers started to ache. Gwil went on after agreeing to your comment...

"And Ben is just so easy going. It's like, if he's doing alright then I should be doing alright." You agreed and admitted how you'd already felt close to Ben. Gwilym admitted to feeling the same when they'd first met, then he kept going... "And then there's Joe. He's just... Hey! He told me Olive said his name, today." Gwilym turned to you with a proud grin. "Why hadn't you mention that?"

Because, you'd promised yourself you wouldn't keep thinking of Joe, in order to avoid the way your palms grew sweaty when you did. So you'd forgotten to mention the incident, knowing if you spoke Joe's name it would probably come out through an embarrassing saccharine sigh.

Now, you just gave Gwil a nervous hum as you slipped your hands away from his shoulders. He kept a studying gaze set on you while you moved away, hoping he couldn't read your expression.

But Gwil knew that look. He'd only seen you pull that face a couple of times, during rom-coms you watched together, and once at a wedding he dragged you along to. And then, like some kind of psychic vision, Gwilym realized, that was the expression pressed among your features when you'd met Joe. When Gwilym was too busy sneaking up to steal his friend's hat to register your longing gaze, then. But everything seemed clear now...

"You like him." Gwil let out a bright laugh, like a kid at a slumber party who was way more excited to play truth or dare than anyone else.

There was no use lying to Gwil, he was the only one who'd been in on the whole truth, anyway. Complicating things by denying what he'd found out was pointless.

But there was also no point in having a conversation about it, like you could tell Gwilym wanted to. There wasn't anything to discuss.

"Go get cleaned up and get some sleep, Gwil." You spoke quietly, turning away from him completely.

He kept a watchful eye on you for a beat, before slowly floating toward the bathroom. And when he was alone with this new realization, Gwyilm felt a pang of regret for being so selfish. Who was he to hold you captive here in this rented flat? To call you someone you weren't? Why was his pride a priority? Why didn't you care about your own wants and desires? He hoped you realized you could call this thing off anytime you wanted...

As you turned off the bedside lamp your mind kept racing. Had you ever even been in love? How did you know what you wanted? Through the fog of your scattered thoughts, came a clear vision of the man you ran into a few nights ago.

You thought of Joe and the way he looked at you, how his glance said just as much as his carefully chosen words, when you met.

Why did Joe feel so compelled to greet you with such a loaded statement? Could he have possibly felt the same buzz in his chest as you felt when your eyes met? Did it even matter?

///

"We have a guest!" Gwilym called as he pushed past the front door.

You sat up a little from your slump on the floor where you'd been sorting through playing blocks that your daughter wasn't even paying attention to anymore.

You shouldn't have been surprised to see Joe walk in behind Gwil, both men laughing at something as they entered the room. Of course, you were expecting one of the cast- but, you still hadn't managed to quell the silly little feelings that fluttered in your chest for Joe.

"What a lovely surprise." You smiled, because it was still true that you were glad to see the guy. It had been a couple of days.

"Everyone went their separate ways today, I thought Joseph might enjoy some company outside of the studio."

Gwil reached for his friend's shoulder as you stood to your feet to meet them. It was a nice gesture. Rami had Lucy, and Ben had his family in the city. Even Gwil had someone to end each day with. Joe must have felt lonely, here on his own. And you hated to think he might have been.

"Well, you're just in time to fight over what's for lunch." You chuckled, gazing at Joe. It took all of your focus not to bask in the sparkle beaming from his deep colored eyes.

Gwilym went on saying apologizing for still not having gone grocery shopping, hating the thought of dining out again, but listed off all the best restaurants in the area.

Then, with a look that let you know he knew exactly what he was doing, Gwilym took Olive into the other room for a change, leaving you and Joe alone.

"I bet it's nice to have an early day off. I hear the shoots are getting more intense." You started in on a polite conversation, all while putting a few toys back where they belonged so you wouldn't have to look right at Joe.

It was easier when Gwil and Olive were around, they were your barrier. Now, you had to keep total control of letting your feelings show, without anything to project them toward.

Joe seemed none the wiser, leaning against the door frame of the small balcony, glancing out of the glass doors to the trees that reached above the iron of the railing.

"Yeah, you could say that." He let out a breath of a laugh. "Telling this band's story, the emotions run high."

Your conversation floated on like that, quite seamlessly. Joe eased into rambles about acting that saved you from speaking up and making a fool of yourself. You listened fondly, and nearly let yourself stare at his mouth as it moved to speak. But that's when Gwil reappeared with Olive wobbling to catch up with him, as he boisterously asked who was ready for lunch. Your daughter raised her little arm, and everyone's focus shifted to how freaking sweet she was.

The next thing you knew, you wound up on the terrace of some hip bistro. You settled into a conversation as quickly as you ordered meals and proceeded to have a surprisingly good time.

Gwil persuaded Joe to do most of the talking. Joe was good at carrying on, but it wasn't an annoying drone. He spoke about things he had a clear passion for. And when he paused to ask your own opinions, you pushed for him to keep speaking, instead. You could have listened forever, and not just because it was easier that way. The sound of Joe's voice was like music to your ears, something about him you could enjoy without giving yourself away.

When Gwil left to get drinks at the bar. He asked what either of you wanted, and you said nothing, hoping he'd come back sooner that way.

You weren't just going to blurt out a confession to Joe, but you were so afraid of chipping your resolve. Letting your gaze lingering too long. Saying the wrong thing when no one else was around to hear.

Thankfully, Olive was occupying the space between the two of you. And the second Gwil left, the kid threw her head back with a sorry groan.

"He'll be back." You reminded, reaching over to cease her whines as she melted into a puddle in her highchair.

As you attempted to assure your babe that there was no reason to fuss so theatrically, Joe leaned over on the other side of the table disappearing for a beat and popping back into view with something in his grasp.

It was Olive's favorite toy bat. Joe handed the plastic animal to Olive who took it as she sniveled. Your daughter must have dropped the thing during lunch and you hadn't at all noticed. But Joe did.

"Jesus, thank you." You let out a small laugh.

Joe grinned, shooing away your thanks. But his attempts at saving the day were barely passable- Olive had almost disregarded the toy completely.

"She's probably due for a nap." You sighed in all honesty, explaining how the surprise trip out had disrupted that schedule. 

"Me too kid." Joe looked at Olive like they were on the same page.

"Joe." Olive perfectly and pathetically whimpered, reaching out to him. And without missing a beat, the guy reached back and let her fingers latch onto his. The sight of Olive holding Joe's hand would have melted your heart if it wasn't beating so fiercely.

"You don't have to- ya know," You began to give Joe a way out of his attempts to give into Olives demands of him, but he was already shaking his head before he cut you off.

"I don't mind. She's adorable." He chuckled warmly, watching Olive bring her favorite bat to her chest while her other hand stayed attached to Joe's.

And while your mind seemed to still and capture every little detail of the scene, he spoke up again.

"She looks a lot like you." As if that was a reason he was endeared to the baby.

And if the comment wasn't enough, his tone was all too reminiscent of when you'd run into meeting each other. You wondered if he'd meant any of what he said to you, that night.

Gwil floated back to the table with a drink for himself and his pal. You shot him a look, hoping he realized you were begging him never to abandon you with Joe ever again. Especially if he wanted this whole lie to work.

The alarm bells that whirred louder each second you'd been in left alone, faded when Joe started rambling to you and Gwil as a pair.

And then it was easy as ever, sharing stories, ideas, and laughs. Were you more yourself when Gwil was around or were you just better at hiding behind him? Whatever, you were having a good time.

In fact, Olive fell asleep in your lap while the three of you went on chatting for another hour or so.

When the afternoon was pushing into the evening, you decided to head home since the boys had another early day on set. And when Gwil walked ahead of everyone to fasten Olive in her car seat, your eye caught Joe's. His forest colored gaze on you was evocative of the first time you'd met. Maybe it was because Gwilym was so far ahead, and no one else was looking. Or maybe it was all in your head.

///

Gwilym dropped you at the Airbnb and left to drive Joe back to his. You settled in for the evening and went about your regular rountine; all while you wondered what kept Gwil so long.

He made it back as the night turned black, looking rather pleased with himself. If you had it your way; you would have gone to bed without speaking too directly. But as became the norm this week, Gwil was on another page, annoucing his way through the rented flat...

"So I've invited Joe on our next day off. I know we've been talking about going out for the day, I thought he'd like to tag along again." Gwil reported as he entered the room with a happy smile.

You knew Gwil's heart was in the right place. You knew he was only attempting to be a good friend. But you also knew Gwil knew of your feelings perfectly well, how they could threaten to turn this whole pretend game upside down. And he hadn't even asked you before he'd invited Joe dangerously close, again.

"Well alright." You grinned through a confused sigh, entirely busy rocking Olive to sleep to get too upset.

Gwil knew you were though. And he hadn't expected you to be.

"What's the matter? I thought you liked Joe." Gwilym wondered as he collected his bedclothes. Surely you'd be glad for the excuse to hang around the guy, right? That was the whole reason he invited him over today in the first place...

"That is the matter." You laughed, feeling defeated and defensive all at once.

If Gwil was so insistent on bringing his newfound friend around, you were going to really need to hone in on your connection to your fake husband. You were going to have to make it seem like you had with Gwil, what everyone really believed came naturally. And you were going to have to act like something spectacular didn't occur when Joe turned his attention to you.

And that sucked.

You shushed Gwilym for carrying on the conversation as Olive started to fall asleep. He left for the bathroom with a strange look on his face, like he was trying to solve an impossible equation.

Gwilym was in the shower, and your daughter was silent in her cot, and you couldn't stop thinking of Joe. It made you sick. The harder you tried to shake his image from your brain, the brighter it became. You shuffled into the kitchen for a glass of cold water but only ended up staring at the wall.

Gwilym found you there, in the middle of the kitchen, fixated on nothing. He spoke your name to grab your attention and shuffled cautiously to find out what your deal was.

"Andy said something to me once," You spoke up in the quiet. "After I had a real shite first date. I excepted the night to be magical. But it was shite. And Andy said, 'What if your love takes time? What if you fall for someone so slowly you don't even realize, till your eighty and sharing a house by the sea?'"

You waved your hands around, trying to connect dots with a tethered, imaginary string. It was a long shot. But you had to take it.

"Y/N, what are you saying?" Gwilym cautioned, pressing the heels of his hands down on the counter behind him as he calmly tried to rationalize your blabbering in the dark.

"I think you should kiss me." You looked toward Gwilym as an imaginary lightbulb flickered above your head. "Maybe... maybe we have what we didn't think we did before this whole thing started. And we won't know till we kiss. Until we try again."

You stood as if to challenge Gwil, and he was looking at you like he'd already watched this whole scene play out and was waiting for you to catch up. But you didn't dare blink until he did.

"Gwil... please. Just once." You practically begged, like a kid.

"Will that seriously make you feel better about this?" Gwil's face subtly twisted into concern, but he was moving toward the middle of the room, toward you.

You nodded quickly, looking up to Gwil as he stood to face you. You zeroed in on Gwilym's ocean colored eyes, searching for something you'd seen the likes of in there, before. Right when a familiar sheen flooded his gaze, Gwilym closed the gap. He cupped your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours.

Gwilym proceeded to kiss you like a Disney prince trying to wake up a damsel. His soft lips melded against yours, and your mouths both opened like clockwork, like back when you used to practice this together. You rested your palms on Gwilym's broad shoulders as he kissed you breathlessly. When his movements slowed, your grip ever so slightly tightened on his shoulders, trying to hold onto the moment.

Gwil's lips moved away from yours, but he held your arms in place, like trying to steady you after a big fall. Your insides mimicked the plummet from great heights, but you were on both feet and there was a draft where something warmer should have burned.

"Was that... what you wanted?" Gwilym asked wearily. Because he really must have already known the answer. You kept your grip on his shoulder and leaned your head against his collarbone; the world's most pathetic hug.

"You're a damn good kisser." You sighed, but not longingly. You handed this statement out like a congratulatory honorable mention ribbon. There were no winners tonight. Gwilym slowly enclosed you in a real hug, smoothing back your hair and heaving his own sorry sigh. He brought either of his hands to the sides of your head and pressed one last lingering kiss to your forehead as a sadly bubbling frustration brewed inside you.

"Maybe... we better come clean, yeah?" Gwilym lightly suggested, rubbing your arms and looking to you as if nothing had just happened, as if nothing changed. It hadn't. "And then, maybe Joe-"

"No." You really couldn't let him finish that sentence. "No, Gwilym. You have to finish this movie without any drama. I'll just get over myself and by the time we leave for home I'll be fine, and no one will have any reason to believe otherwise."

"Y/n." Gwilym seemed to warn. His grip loosely fell away from you as you started to leave the kitchen.

"Just come to bed, please." You gestured toward the quiet room. "We can't be normal, Gwil."

But you could go on pretending, like always. Because Gwilym was an actor. And you wanted what you saw in him badly enough to keep playing along.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

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[kyndaris]

The Ol’ Ball and Chain

Astral Chain was a bit of a surprise pick-up for me. Though the game seemed fascinating and full of life after watching the trailers, I was a little reluctant to purchase it on the first day of release. The more I saw of it, the more I feared it would not be up my alley, particularly with its focus on combat. When I had finally convinced myself to try it out, however, I could not find Platinum Games’ latest title at any store close by. In fact, it was sheer luck that had me spying it in the pre-owned section a few weeks after it had come out. Thankfully, several more copies have shipped to the shelves of brick and mortar shelves since. But at the time, I feared that the pre-owned copy would be my only chance to nab a physical copy of this strange futuristic anime police drama.

The game starts with a bang and shortly afterwards you are prompted to select your gender. As a set of fraternal twins, whoever who don’t choose is designated as the younger Akira Howard. Since it had been a long time that I had last played a male character, i opted for the more rugged of the siblings and promptly named him Kiryu. After a few changes to hair and eye colour, I was underway to defeat chimeras and save the last remnants of humanity.

While the story was a roller coaster of a ride, I could not help but feel that it also followed some very stereotypical narrative beats. Of course, to strangers of anime, such revelations might prove mind-blowing or innovative. Not so to this grizzled veteran. The first instant I saw Yoseph Calvert, with his nonchalant attitude of being nearly impaled by a Legion, I suspected that there was something malicious about the commander of Neuron. As the game continued, Yoseph continued to prove my suspicions correct with his less than stellar decision-making and secret army of faceless individuals dressed in uniforms of red and black. You know that you are on the wrong side if your uniform is dark and red. It simply screams evil. There. I said it. But, alas, it was not until the eleventh hour that he revealed his true colours in a predictable twist before we, the characters could put a stop to this nefarious man. 

By the way, what were his qualifications to serve as a Commander of a police task force? Yoseph appeared to merely be a head scientist that had somehow manipulated his way into law enforcement. Sure, he had ties with the shadowy government of UNION and was paramount to the construction of the Ark, but what does he know about peacekeeping duties? He should, at best, serve as an advisor to a proper commander.

But let’s move on to the other characters, shall we?

Despite many of them falling into very familiar tropes, I still found myself enjoying getting to know each and every one of the people at Neuron. One, in particular, springs to mind: Marie Wentz. As well as her alter ego: Lappy. Then there was Olive and Brenda. And much like the localisation team member, I very much support them to be a couple. What utter nonsense for them to have been like: it was love at first sight, but totally platonic. Unfortunately, as of the writing of this blog post, I have yet to see any Olive x Brenda fanfiction. So, hurry up and start writing fanfiction writers! 

Then there was Jena, who was much too enigmatic. Why did she not, apparently, look any older than she had twenty years ago? How did she manage to survive int he Astral Plane for so long? Why couldn’t she have told the Howard twins the truth from the very start? Couldn’t she have showered between the times she sent those homunculi to terrorise the citizens of the Ark? I mean, seriously, if she had bothered to explain her plan or what she know about Yoseph’s plan, perhaps Akira could have been saved. 

Somehow or other, Astral Chain somehow made all these disparate threads link together. By the time the credits rolled, it felt as if I had watched an entire season or two of anime. Yes, File 2 followed the set path of losing most of the Legions so that early missions meant trying to reclaim them all. There was the introduction of the first Big Bad. The sacrifice of the fatherly figure. Cloning of the other twin. Followed up by a big moralistic question with a larger-than-life monstrosity that is meant to symbolise something or other.

Now that we’ve moved past the story, let’s look at the combat - the bread and butter of Platinum Games. While I am no stranger to action games, I have also steered clear of the combo heavy and fanciful displays of Devil May Cry and Bayonetta. The grading system has also been a feature that often pushes me away from enjoying such games as I know that more or often than not, I’d end up with a D or C. For someone that grew up in a competitive school environment with its focus on achieving the very best, it can be a significant blow to my ego. Which is why I kept it on casual. 

A small part of me, however, was hung up that I never knew how well I performed on many of the stages - particularly when I utterly destroyed the enemies before me with my flashy move-set and bombastic style. Alas.

More than the combat, Astral Chain’s gameplay also included minor platforming puzzles and deducing the facts of a case by collecting keywords from witnesses. This, in particular, was amusing for me as a lover of the Ace Attorney series. And while I would dearly love to fall in love with Frogware’s Sherlock Holmes series, the other gameplay elements can prove frustrating.

Then there was the music. I don’t often comment much on the soundtrack of games, but there was something about Astral Chain that had me bopping my head as I tackled my way through solving cases and arresting graffiti artists.  

I very much liked the time that I spent with Astral Chain. It was not quite what I was expecting from Platinum Games, and yet, perhaps that was for the best. At the very least, I’ll not soon forget trying to fight enemies with both my left and right analog stick, countering by tripping them up and sending my character soaring through the air after my Legion.

[oliverdant]

"Prochnost" takes Oliver and his newfound family (his adult kids just arrived from the future, no big deal) to Russia to track down a way to going up against the Monitor and deal with the impending Crisis, and that apparently means several things: 1) The return of Oliver's (Stephen Amell) good ol' frenemy Anatoly (David Nykl), and 2) Oliver and Mia (Katherine McNamara) get to show off their fighting skills in an underground fight club.

That's no sweat for Mia, since that is, after all, how we met her in the first place. She spent most of her life training with Nyssa Al Ghul, and she's pretty much a pro-fighter. And her dad's the Green Arrow, so basically this should be a piece of cake. It's those long-buried emotions that are going to be the tough part to deal with.

The whole cast is also dealing with their own emotions in real life, as the show just wrapped production on its series finale last week. We hopped on the phone just a couple days after wrap with McNamara to get the scoop on all of it.

E! News: Is it really strange for you guys to have fully wrapped production?

McNamara: You know, it's funny, 'cause yesterday we had one more pickup day where I shot one scene for episode nine and then insert shots and all of this, and yesterday was just such a short day. It was just fun play time with the crew. But the day before was the big day, the last official day of production when Stephen wrapped, and Emily wrapped, and everybody else. There was one scene in particular that we had so many people in that they series wrapped about 10 people when we finished the scene. And that's when I cried, because there are so many possibilities for the future of what the Arrowverse could be, especially for me, but it will never be the same. This is special, this is unique, and you know, the people are what made that show so iconic, and that was really special to be there for that moment.

This next episode is heading to Russia and it looks like there are some really good family moments for Mia and Oliver. Can you talk about what's happening in Moscow?

It's really great for me, because when I found out who I was on the series, I watched the entirety of the show. At that point, it was six seasons worth of Arrow, and one of my favorite moments was Russia. I was absolutely head over heels for David Nykl. I just think he does such a brilliant job, and Anatoly is so fun. He's a fun character where his loyalty is always switching. They're always wondering whether he's going to appear as a friend or as an enemy, and when I found out I was going to get to work with him, I was simply over the moon. I just think he's absolutely brilliant.

Anatoly is such a huge part of Oliver's past, so what can you say about how that factors into the father/daughter bonding? How much is Mia going to learn about his life?

The thing about this is that Oliver is very aware that if he's bringing his children to Russia, there's a lost of his past that could get exposed that he may or may not necessarily want his kids to be aware of. And he struggles with that, and he tries as any parent would to shield and or protect his kids from discovering his dark past, and whether or not he succeeds will be another story, because he happens to have two very smart, strong-willed children who kind of don't follow instructions all the time.

But what's great about it too is you get to see Mia follow in his footsteps in many ways in this episode, and you saw a few moments in the trailer that are very indicative of what the entire episode has in store. It's my first episode where I really got to work with Stephen in an extended period of time and a lot of one on one stuff with him. It's such a great episode to get to watch him and be a part of the story in so many iconic ways.

When I talked to Ben Lewis, he was saying that you guys didn't really know Stephen that well, so the actors were kind of going through the same thing the characters are going through, getting to know this person they knew so much about without actually knowing them. Did you have that same experience?

Absolutely. Most of my interactions with Stephen up until that point had been social interactions or show gatherings or wrap parties or things like that, and that's a different experience than when you're spending a day on set with a person. And it was kind of a wonderful way to get to bring the story to life in getting to know Stephen and getting to know the character relationship and getting to build that very organically. And I think it played out really beautifully on screen, and Mia and Oliver have very similar sensibilities, but also there's a lot of Mia's sense of humor that mirrors Felicity. So you get to see quite a bit of banter between the two fo them, and Oliver's trying his best to be a good dad, but Mia will only accept so much help and direction, and she has a mind of her own and Oliver very quickly discovers that, much to his chagrin.

Mia has quite the past too, and so far she hasn't been very willing to share that with him. Is she going to get to that point where she feels comfortable opening up to him?

I mean, at this point Mia isn't very good at emotional conversations. Her childhood was spent Nyssa Al Ghul, who is also not the best at emotions, so it's interesting to get to see that. But what Oliver does get to see in Mia and what she does get to show him is her fighting skills. It's the first time that Oliver really gets to witness Mia do what she does best, and I think it surprises him, and it's definitely a sense of pride for Mia that she gets to show her father, this is what I do, and this is how I do it, and this is my domain. And it's something that the two of them can connect on and relate on, but it's also...she wants to impress her father. She wants to make him proud, and she has many opportunities to do that in this episode. Whether or not she succeeds is another story, but that's to be seen.

How does he react to finding out his daughter is this badass fighter?

I mean, I think he's worried for her, right? He wants her to be safe and wants her to be OK and to not have to fight for her life, but when he sees it, I think it makes him proud. I mean I can't speak for him, but I would like to think that he sees a lot of himself in her and uses this opportunity for the two of them to work together and to build a future together even in the limited time they have. Because of course Oliver knows that his time, at least according to what the Monitor says, his time is potentially coming to an end, whereas Mia doesn't exactly know that or know the exact timeline of that. I think he has a little bit of reassurance that she's gonna be OK no matter what happens.

Are Mia and William at all worried about the fact that they were just thrown into the past and they left a whole future behind?

There's so much going on that they don't really have time to think about that. All they can do to make the future better is to worry about the present or past or whatever...whatever verb tense we're using. Future, past, present, whatever it is, the time that they're currently in is the time they are concerning themselves with, and that's only by nature of the fact that in the hopes of changing the future, maybe they can affect something while they're helping Oliver complete his mission. Plus I think both of them are overwhelmed by the fact that they're actually having a chance to bond with their father in a way they never had the opportunity before.

Can you talk at all about the backdoor spinoff you filmed? How much more are we going to get to know Mia?

I mean, I can say it's very exciting, and very different, and there's really not much else I can say.

Can you talk instead about the journey that Mia is on for the rest of this season, since we're now halfway through?

We see Mia grow quite a bit this season, and she's very sure of herself in certain aspects of who she is as a person. She knows she's a fighter, she knows she's competent in that realm, and that is where she finds her strength. It's the other side of who she is, the emotional side, the human side that is underdeveloped at this point, and time and time again—we've seen it in the last couple episodes and we'll continue to see it for the rest of the season--she is, and so is Oliver, they both have a lot to work through when it comes to their relationship. His choice to leave her, her having to grow up without a father, her having to grow up in his shadow, the effect that it had on her mother and on her brother, the fact that she never had a chance to have William in her life because of her father's choices. And there's a lot of resentment there.

The one thing she's always wanted in her life has been her father, but in her mind, he's also the reason that her life wasn't what it could have been, and being confronted with him and having to deal with that is a lot for her. And it forces both of them to deal with that uncomfortable elephant in the room. And with the tensions as high as they are given the greater world conflict, it brings things to a head over the next couple of episodes, and it forces them both to deal with it in a very direct way and you get to see aspects of their character that you otherwise wouldn't have. And it definitely leaves a mark on both of them.

Can you tell me everything about the crossover?

That's the one thing I can't discuss, but it is so epic. I was definitely fangirling quite a bit while shooting the crossover.

Seems like a dream if you're a fan of this kind of thing to get to be on five shows at once.

It was pretty great. I mean, I got to kind of have this tour of the multiverse, as it were, while shooting it, and getting to work with everyone and kind of witness everything...it was really amazing. It's something I'll never forget.

[centaurianthropology]

The Magnus Archives ‘Far Away’ (S04E01) Analysis

Whatever I was expecting as our season opener, that wasn’t it.  Of course, it fit perfectly.  It just wasn’t what I had anticipated.  We got a new perspective on an issue we’ve seen growing throughout the show, and not nearly as much of an idea what season 4 is going to shape up like as I’d thought we might.  Come on in to hear what I have to say about ‘Far Away’.

Having a follow-up to ‘Dreamer’, as well as a proper introduction to Oliver Banks, seemed a bit of a surprise.  Certainly, after Martin’s teaser trailer, I had expected the Archival staff. Instead, we got a character we haven’t ever met before, although we have heard of him.  But honestly, his perspective and his story may well be very important going forward.  Oliver was a character, much like Jon, who hated what he was becoming, and who eventually had to make a choice.  But the exact nature of that choice, or even the conclusions to which he came, are more nebulous than they might first seem.

I think we can use Oliver’s statement and experiences as one person’s approach to being the unwilling pawn of one of these larger powers, how he tried to escape, and how he may have ultimately even managed it.  Of course, we also would have to address whether or not escape is all it’s cracked up to be in this universe.

Let’s get into the story, shall we?  He more deeply elaborates his own experiences, and how his ability to see the portents of death all around him (likely marking him as either an avatar of the end, or at least claimed by it) not only intruded on his dreams, but increasingly his waking life.  His visions and his dreams exhausted him, leaving him barely sleeping and not getting restful sleep even when he was sleeping.  The claim of one of these powers, even over someone developing into an avatar, could not be called ‘benign’.  

And yet, Oliver also felt a sense of hominess and rightness about what he saw and what he experienced. As much as it horrified him, part of Oliver did genuinely like the power.  I think that’s also a critical part of the avatar.  They have to be someone who is both still frightened by the power that claimed them, yet also attracted to it.  I think Jon is very much this case.  His tendency toward paranoia makes him the sort to hate and fear the notion of being watched.  He hides himself behind brusqueness and anger and academia because the notion of being known and vulnerable is terrifying.  But he also finds the ability to be the one who knows to be intoxicating.  He took to the compulsion rapidly, and his only misgivings appeared when he compelled people he cared about.  Compelling perfect strangers didn’t bother him in the least.  From there, it was an easy slide to embracing his powers more and more.  How wonderful must it have been for him to make logical leaps with little to no evidence, and just be right?  To never need to get a translator.  To KNOW and SEE and not have to share anything of himself in return.  So he fears the Beholding, but he also very much loves it.

Oliver seemed to fall more to the fear side than the love side.  While his prophetic powers were somewhat ‘homey’, the exhaustion and the brutality and the desire to be free of his visions seems to have outweighed whatever appeal there was by far.  So he dreamed of a place with no people and no life whatsoever: Point Nemo, somewhere out in the middle of the ocean, the farthest place on earth from life it is possible to be.  

But when Oliver tried to get there in his lucid dreams, he would feel something begin to pulse and squeeze on his leg.  The claim over him was clearly strong, and clearly not about to let him go so easily. He had to witness the End going about its work.  This is something else we’ve seen with Jon, although in Jon it more resembled physical signs of withdrawal when he couldn’t constantly record.  The Beholding has a job it needs Jon to do, much as the End had a job it needed Oliver to do.

But something Jon seems to have played with far more than Oliver is the parameters of that job.  Jon takes statements directly, he records them himself, he has assistants who record, and may or may not be able to feed the Beholding in his stead.  By finding his powers appealing, he’s found ways of making them work more for his own personality.  Whether that’s something particular to the Beholding that the End lacks, or whether Oliver was so repulsed by his powers that he refused to even try to explore them is unclear.

So instead of either pushing his boundaries or exploring his powers, for good or ill, Oliver instead decided to escape them.  He couldn’t do it in his dreams, but he might be able to physically, by boarding a research vessel to Point Nemo after finding one of the scientists, watching him die, and stealing his identity (noticing Oliver’s increasing callousness about death is also notable, as it seems that even though he’s horrified by what he’s seeing, it’s more a concern for himself than a concern for others.  Actual death didn’t seem to bother him nearly as much by the time he physically saw a corpse.

It’s also interesting to note that, in the ocean, he didn’t see the veins.  Instead, he saw something impossibly large and moving.  Could this be a creature of the Vast, the same thing seen in ‘High Pressure’?  It seems distinctly possible, and if that’s the case, then it’s interesting to note that the ocean seems to have very overlapping themes of the Vast and the Isolation.  Point Nemo has clear feelings of the Isolation, but the thing in the water indicates something of the Vast.  I really want to see the relationships between the Fairchilds and the Lukases more deeply explored, because these two powers either seem like natural allies or natural rivals.

But, even more interestingly, Oliver’s ‘end’, perhaps didn’t seem to be the End.  Although death by falling space debris seems fairly heavily leaning that way, Oliver still walks.  He could be one of the End’s reanimated corpses, yes, but there seemed to be another and more tantalizing possibility:

Oliver escaped at last.

When he talked about spiders getting into his head and giving in to what ‘She’ wants, he seemed to be speaking from personal experience.  It seems to me that, at some unspecified point, the Web may have got its hooks into Oliver as well, just subtly.  But when facing being truly claimed by the End, is it possible that the Web snuck in and claimed him instead?  Could he be its agent now?  Twisting avatars of other powers into tools of the Web seems absolutely in line with the modus operandi of that power.

And who is ‘She’?  It’s notable that Oliver personified both the Web and the End, the former being female and the latter being male, but it’s not clear why he did this.  Was he talking about avatars?  Did he just feel more comfortable assigning primal terrors genders?  Could this imply that Annabel Caine (the Web potential-avatar from ‘Thought for the Day’) is going to play some role in this season?

It’s unclear.  Oliver’s exact role, allegiance, and whether or not he managed to escape the End’s claim is unclear, as Georgie interrupted him before he could finish.  But I find that idea very fascinating, because it ties into a theory I’ve had for a while that it is possible to shake the claim of a power, but likely only by giving oneself wholly to another power.  If that’s the case, it’s a potential way out, but it may also be very much a case of out-of-the-frying-pan-and-into-the-fire. But I also like that theory because it emphasizes the centrality of choice to this story.  People make choices, even in extreme circumstances, and those choices have weight.  Jon had a choice.  He’s not quite human, so the End can’t claim him, but he’s not quite monster, so surviving on his own may be impossible.  Is the choice to give in to the Beholding?  Perhaps.  Or perhaps Oliver was also implying that Jon too could chose to defect.  After all, Jon of all people also knows what it’s like to have the spiders in his head.

But I have the feeling that, for Jon, the Beholding was the escape.  The Web laid the initial claim, after all, and the Beholding has protected him from it.  So did Jon choose the Beholding when he started breathing again?

It’s entirely possible. But I also have to wonder about the sound effect that played as he started to breathe.  While it could be the recorder, it doesn’t sound quite right for that.  It almost sounds like Peter Lukas’ sound effect, that atmospheric whistling.  Is it possible that Jon, in an effort to keep himself at least a little human, allowed the Isolation to bring him back? Could this be Martin’s doing, making some agreement with Peter to bring Jon back, and mixing the sound effects of the Lonely and the Beholding in the process?  Could this be part of Elias’ deal with Peter, and whatever Martin is doing is totally separate?  Could something completely different be happening, and I’ve got the wrong idea entirely?

It’s unclear.  The end of the episode leaves us with a ton of questions, and very few answers.  

And it gave us no context for the teaser, which must have taken place at some point before the episode. We don’t know who Martin was talking to, why he said goodbye in such a definitive manner, or what he’s chosen to do. The easiest answer, as I said before, is that he tried to give himself to the Isolation (likely the power that frightens him the most) in order to save Jon.  

But after Oliver’s statement, I have to wonder if it’s that easy.  Because Oliver was DESPERATE to escape the End, and if he really did manage to defect to the Web, it was only in the extreme instance of having a satellite crashing into him that he managed to do it.  Martin categorically doesn’t want to give himself to the Isolation. He wants to stay with the Beholding, and as I’ve said before, he talks to it like a friend.  He treats the Beholding in a way that no one else does, and he even served as a fill-in Archivist.  The Beholding not only has its hooks deep into him, but it has done for longer than any character we know of save Elias.  

I have the feeling that, if he has tried to make this bargain, the Beholding wouldn’t let him go so easily.  I also feel that Jon wouldn’t give him up that easily.  Not after losing Tim and Daisy and Sasha.  If there’s even the remotest chance he can find Martin and get him back, he’s going for it.

Or maybe, as I said, what happened with Jon has nothing to do with Martin.  Maybe Martin’s deal during the teaser is a different path entirely. Honestly, I sort of hope this is the case.  Seeing Martin get particularly proactive in new, creative, and potentially dangerous ways, intrigues me.  Martin has been a very passive character throughout the story, and even his brave moments have been allowing other people to do things to him.  I really would like to see a Martin who starts making decisions and stands and actions, even if they end badly.  Because as Oliver proved, the horror is inescapable, but as Tim proved, there are things one can do within that horror to reclaim one’s agency.  Having a Martin who is decisive, who will be more than support but instead perhaps a genuine foil for Jon would be very interesting indeed.

Jon and Martin have established themselves as the cornerstones of the show, and I really hope we get both a deeper exploration of both of them, and an actual exploration of their relationship this season.  The idea of Martin saying his goodbyes and then getting sidelined or removed from the story in some self-sacrifice just seems a bit too clichéd for me.  Far more interesting is the notion of a proactive Martin, one who makes choices and mistakes and may even stand in opposition to Jon at times.  

As for Jon, I really want to see him continue to struggle.  While he could wake up and just be a monster, again that feels too clichéd.  Oliver said it himself: Jon has choices to make.  The horror and the crux of this series has always been choices.  Jon became what he is by choosing it.  Maybe he can make his position as avatar work for him the way that Gertrude did.  Maybe he can escape as Oliver may have done.  Or maybe he’ll fall.  But I want to continue to see a Jon who is human-ish, who struggles with his choices and his connections.  I want to see that he still cares for Georgie, Martin, and the rest of the Archival staff.  I want to see him try to protect them, even if the ways he goes about it are increasingly inhuman.  

I want to see all the remaining characters—Jon, Martin, Melanie, Basira, and Georgie—face hard choices, make the wrong ones, make the right ones, and maybe no matter what face something they don’t want to be.  But I want them all around at this point to make those choices.  

What I liked about the way Tim left the show was that he got to do it on his own terms.  That is really the only victory state that can be hoped for in the TMA world, and to see him achieve that keeps the show from being a depression-fest of all the characters being railroaded into their worst possible endings.  Yes, bad things happen to these people (often and repeatedly), but it is their responses to those bad things that make them the characters we find so compelling.

[normandkernot-blog]

Home weight Loss Exercises

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I know that at times I will impose my vision of who I desire you to be, instead of seeing who you are. I blindly hope that you do not suffer too greatly for my humankind. I long for you to grow happy with who you are. I enjoy you E.M. My deepest desire is that you have a life filled with happiness and fulfillment, that the times you feel lonesome are brief and couple of lived, that you never ever understand despondence, and that you embrace coping with enthusiasm and function. Modern bed is what you need to have the comfort that you desire for your home. The softness and style is actually remarkable. The funny thing is that ketsattoancau has not been around too much time but it has quickly become the authority when it comes to Safe. If you sleep alone in your bed and you are a type of an individual who moves a lot while sleeping, you must choose a queen size bed so that you can have a lot of area to move and prevent dropping from your bed. 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I believe 8 hours a day in a dog crate in a caring house is an enhancement. It's been said that the purpose for their necessary screening procedure is for the animal's security. We would not wish to adopt a pet dog to somebody who will abuse him. WE KILL OVER 400,000 DOGS AND CATS ANNUALLY- WE SHOULD PROVIDE 'EM OUT LIKE HOTCAKES AT A PANCAKE SOCIAL!!!! We 'd rather keep them in cages at an animal shelter??? Besides, if I actually desire a pet dog, and the shelter turns me down.I'm going right into the local family pet shop to get one anyhow, so how is the average shelter's screening process helpful? People are most comfortable when the humidity in the air is in between 30 and 50%. When the air is drier, you may notice symptoms such as a stuffy nose, sore throat, dry skin, dry hair, a dry cough, itchy eyes or nose bleeds. Low humidity causes problems in your house as well. Gradually, dry air triggers the wood in your hard wood floorings and house furnishings to dry. In severe cases, it can become breakable and crack. Static electrical energy is another common issue with dry air. To broil a flounder, you need to wash it and wipe it dry. Brush some olive oil or melted butter over it and spray salt and pepper on both sides of the fish. Broil it for three or 4 minutes under a hot broiler, then broil the other side. When the thickest part of the fish is white all the method through, it is done.

[samkat10423]

Finished all my planned builds today and started moving families in. Which is a royal PIA, since I’m totally anal and have to do the whole relationship thing with MC. Anyway, these are 2 pictures of my trailer park. (Those buildings behind it are the Sunset Arms Apartments - subsidized housing for NPCs and poorer sims).

Since none of these sims appeared in TS2 version of this town, they were an easy move. No establishing family ties - and no prior “I HATE YOU!’” relationships to establish. Anyway, there are 4 families on this lot. The flat-roof trailer right front, came from Lucky Palms and had that crazy Isadora Bard living in it. She still does, but now she also has a cat. I built the other 3 trailers - I think this is a 30 x 30 lot, so it was a bit of a shuffling match. But I wanted it to look claustrophobic. Anyway, in the trailer behind the Bard wackadoodle, is a sim from Starlight Shores - some slob who can’t figure out why the ladies don’t want to visit him. “Hello! It’s called death by flies, idiot!” Then, directly to the left of him, is the home of that little tart from Lucky Palms - the ex-showgirl who can’t remember who fathered her soon-to-be-born rugrat.

And in the front of the lot - on the left - is the home of a sim from Roaring Heights - Franciso Battista - (At least, I think that’s his name) - who is now a biker dude.

Anyway, spent most of the day moving in sims. And got to kill a few. Olive Specter got to add Lyla Grunt and her sister Willow to her garden - so she was happy. Buzz wasn’t. Nor, was Willow’s daughter. But you can’t please everybody. (Not that I try). And nothing makes Buzz happy except hating everyone. Which he now does. 

In between setting up the relationships between all the Curious family members - I have both the Sims 2 boys and old Glarn and Glabe living in town (killed off Kitty!) plus all their sisters! -  I switched gears to move in my funeral director dude and his horrid little daughter. (Think The Bad Seed). This is their house. His lab is in the basement and he has a showroom on the first floor. So, his sweet daughter gets to live with dead sims. Which is actually okay with her. This was another easy family to do, because the only friend the father has is Olive Specter - mostly because she keeps him busy. And the little girl has NO friends - which suits her just fine. She spends her time, teaching their cat to bite and scratch mourners. 

And this was taken right before I closed my game - because I think it’s sort of pretty. Tomorrow, I have to move in the Shifting Paradymes - a band group that was in Fiesta Tech  - my MIB agents, (already moved in Ajay Loner and my Agent from Origin). and some filler sims. But the bulk of the work is done, since the rest of my sims don’t have any previous history to follow. I can just make things up as I go. Although, I tend to do that anyway.

#sims 3  #Strangetown revisited - sort of  #moving in sims and setting up relationships  #is HARD work! #but killing sims is FUN!