#old school pole dance

[coldilikeit]

Isekai reader x Batfam (Neglected au)

Female reader

Chapter 8- The REAL beloved princess

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"This is so fucking bullshit" someone says as she storms out her used to be office, this someone got fired from her job after management found out she was stealing from the company

She's frustratingly fondling with the keys of her car and drives off in a pissed off state, "What's so good about them anyway.. I was top of my class you assholes! It was just a couple hundred thousand dollars, I needed vacation money!" She yelled

What she didn't notice was the light turning red meaning all cars should stop, then she crashes and hits a teenage girl, she swerved out to run away from the scene but her frantic driving makes her hit a pole and she dies

Then she wakes up as a 9 year old girl, she wakes up as "Viviana"

She's a little socialite and influencer who bullies people poorer than her, once a scandal about her was shown after she was seen throwing her leftovers at a homeless person's head

She's the daughter of a famous whore model and an unknown dad, her mom slept with one of the guests at fashion week and had her

Life was good for Viviana, vacations, designer bags and clothes, private school

When Viviana was 10, at one of her lavish birthday parties an earthquake happened, she was about to get crushed under the debris but a screen popped up

Welcome Reader! To the favorite child au!

Your story goes as someone who lives a normal life, but then when your mother dies, you find out you're the daughter of none other than Bruce Wayne! Aka Batman, the family immediately loves you and you become the most cherished person in the Manor!

After that Viviana's life changed, she was then actively trying to poison her mother so she can start the story of her being loved

She was given missions that gave her points and superpowers as rewards,

So far she has

Super strength, Lazer eyes, and infinity bag (a bag that has whatever she needs or wants at the moment)

At first Viviana didn't want to become a vigilante like the system was telling her to be, but then the opportunity came when she was transferred to Gotham prep, there was a school shooting and her brothers were watching, of course she had to show off

She apprehended the bastards and was praised by the school

Soon she was appearing alongside the bats, She was then given a love meter by her system to see how much they loved her, so far she's at 30%

There was one problem, that one girl

(Name) Wayne.

She wasn't part of the original family!?

Then her system informed her that she was another reincarnated person, but she reincarnated as the "neglected" one

How pitiful, Viviana laughed to herself

The problem is that bitch (Name) made the family love her... She had years with them!? It wasn't fair!

They were even throwing a gala for her birthday, the last straw for Viviana was when Bruce, the man who's supposed to love her most and declare her as the favorite child, danced with the bitch he's supposed to hate!

She couldn't wait and introduced herself right then and there, it was really unfortunate that her mom had died due to the Joker's attack

Why are her brothers smiling at her!? Why are her sisters adoring her!? This wasn't how it's supposed to go! She's the beloved daughter!

Viviana vows to make that change.

The party ended abruptly and now the family find themselves in a private room

Duke leans on the sofa "So you're that protagonist vigilante right?" He looked wary of the new girl

Viviana looked shocked "How did you!?-" Duke laughed recalling a memory, he looked at (Name) "Someone once told me 'A new vigilante appears, Bruce gets a new kid, it's not rocket science' huh (Name)?"

"we'll have to verify the DNA test you handed me" Bruce coughs "Until then you'll stay in a guest room-"

"Master bedroom." Says (Name), the system informed you that his girl is another reincarnated person! You've never thought you'd meet anyone back in your old world! Maybe you and her can help each other with missions and stuff!

Everyone looks at you "What? If she does end up becoming our sister are you going to treat her like how I was first treated? Make her feel welcome" you smiled, you found out that she was reincarnated as the "beloved" one of the Bat family, and her mission is opposite to yours, make everyone love her, you'll help her with that, and maybe she'll help you too

____________________________

Bruce feels tired, he had just made you feel part of the family after years of neglect, he feels like you were finally opening up to them and now you guys can be one happy family

Then Viviana comes.

"Maybe I should just fuck infertile women", he groans, the door opens and comes in the devil "Viviana... Why are you up? It's so late?"

She smiled "I saw how stressed you were at the family meeting earlier... I made you some tea" she said, Bruce falters "How... Thoughtful of you, thank you Viviana"

Bruce smelled the aroma, a sweet scent, he doesn't like sweets but it's fine, it was from his daughter, he took a sip... He was surprised it wasn't sweet at all, it was a bit bitter with a tangy taste, it wasn't a good tea, but who is he to complain?

Reader- um I mean... Protagonist! His love meter is going up in an alarming rate! What happened?

"I told you to not mess up on what you call me..." Viviana angrily whispered, I mean, she was the protagonist, so she doesn't see a problem on why the system shouldn't call her that

Viviana relaxed in an armchair near her father's desk "You know... My tea has a special ingredient... First it's him then the others... And then the entirety of Gotham..." She whispered

But protagonist... Using a love potion to up your love meter is considered cheating... If you get caught, or the love potion wears off, we'll both get in trouble! I suggest you get their affection the natural way!

"I hope you have a goodnight Father..." Viviana smiled then left the room

Protagonist! Bruce is still a vigilante! A scary one at that, if he finds out about this your love meter might plummet!

"it won't. Don't worry, I won't let it happen" she looked at her stats

Super strength- 6/20

Lazer eyes- 8/20

"System why aren't you doing anything to make this go up!?" She growled

You're the one who's supposed to make that go up on your own! By fighting villains! With every criminal you rehabilitate or put in jail, your stats go up, so far you've only managed to out the school shooters and some muggers

"powers aren't that important anyway... What matters is that girl, who does she think she is!? She was even trying to show her influence in the family by changing their minds and making me sleep in a Master bedroom!"

She was probably only trying to help you... She's been informed of your mission by her system

"Screw that! She's just scared that I'll take her place, so she's being kind to me to make herself stay! I'm going to take everything from her, those warm gazes, the gifts... They were mine in the first place!"

____________________________

Look who I met on an outing!

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@jellyedkazoo @vanilliona @shyenemyperson @popboomcha @plsfckmedxddy @devotedlyshamelessdetective @dorkatron-2000 @yuyuzi-ling @sweetsugerskull @butratherbutrather @yu-reiii @clementinesyummy @lfiee @iamapotatoe @type-ink @unknownloner1345 @randomlyappearingartist @justatimidcreator

[barbiesmuse]

head barbie's ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ future works!

Head Barbie is constantly thinking about new fics for you, so here are her future works! Dates won't be released until the fic is actually written! Most of my fics are 18+, if not I will say so! Minors or ageless blogs who interact with my posts will be blocked!

| SugarDaddy!Ghost x innocent!reader - Simon is in the mafia and is set to kill readers family. Below is a preview of the fic. This will contain some serious dark content. If you are uncomfortable with guns, drug use, rough intimacy, talk of sexual assault, and more this fic may not be for you!

“She was a saint, I was set for hell. It was my first time laying eyes on her and I couldn't help but wonder how she'd taste. My eyes trail down to her chest. I couldn't have her, she wasn't supposed to be here tonight. This should've been a quick kill, no guilt flooding my senses. But then I watched how she interacted with her family, nothing but admiration in her beautiful eyes. Her scent was intoxicating. Her aura was captivating, everything about her drew me in. Then she smiles at me, and everything stops.”

| SingleDad!Ghost x godmother!reader - Simon is a single dad who's struggling to cope with his recent divorce while taking care of his three-year-old, daughter Stella. When you move back to the city relief washes over him. Stella's godmother and his secret crush since high school. You were perfect, exuding an air of kindness. But when friendly flirting and playful remarks begin to morph into something more Simon's stuck, he swore to himself he'd never fall in love again. Then you flutter your eyelashes at him teasingly, and suddenly he can't recall the promise he made to himself. This fic is much fluffier, not a lot of heavy themes, just soft intimacy and angst!!

“My daddy really likes you,” Stella says as you paint her nails. Tonight was the father-daughter dance, meaning you were free from your usual godmother duties. It was your first night out in a while, so you thought you'd enjoy it considering they were limited. You smile kindly at her before speaking gently. “Oh really?” You begin. “Well, I really like your daddy. He's a pretty alright guy.” You say, Stella giggles and Simon peeks his head in. Your eyes lock and he shoots you a wink. Maybe a night in, waiting for your two favorite people to get home didn't sound so bad.

| CollegeProfessor!Ghost x student!reader - The minute you walked into his classroom he knew he had to have you. He'd break every ineffectual rule to have you bent over his desk. His hands leaving rough red prints on her pretty little ass. His thoughts were shameful and perverted. The slutty little bows you wore in your hair drove him crazy. One day, he swore to himself that he would wrap the bow around your wrists as he fucked deep into you. This fic contains dark content!! Smut, angst, stalking, and drugging. This fic might not be for you!

| Stalker!Ghost x stripper!reader - Simon was always considered a loser, weird, and often ostracized for his lack of well, being. That's why he joined the military. They'd understand him there, they wouldn't push him for conversation. They'd know better. So they knew there was no better person to go undercover at a strip club than him. At least that's what they thought. Then he sees you, the way the lights shine on your body. The way you flip your hair, move your hips, spread your legs. The way you fucking own that damn pole. He was struck by you, he had to have you. This fic isn't super dark but there are dark themes! This fic might not be for you!

As you make your way onto stage your eyes meet Simon's. Your target for the night. Your eyes would stay directly on his for the entire performance. The way you practically fuck yourself on the pole drives him crazy. Your ass is on full display, his mind convincing himself this show is only for him. Your body is on display just for him. Your eyes never leave his. As you finish driving Simon crazy you blow him a kiss, and everyone's heads whip to meet his eyes. A blush painted his creamy cheeks.

| President!Ghost x secretary!reader - After Simon won the election he was ecstatic, he was at the ripe age of thirty-five. He was seen as a charming sweetheart who all the ladies batted their eyelashes at. He simply shot them a charming smile due to his devotion to his wife, until you came along. A young little sweet thing like you, as his secretary? You wouldn't last. He'd break you.

| Bluecollar!Ghost x wealthy!reader - After the death of your father you find yourself stumbling back into your hometown for his funeral. There, you're met with your high school sweetheart. He stayed the same and got a basic job while you were one of the highest-paid women in New York. He wasn't on your level, but he was yours. Your reputation, or the sweet boy you've always loved. What will you choose?

as I said above dates will come out closer to me releasing the fic! i'm so so excited to be active again!! i wrote this at like 2:00 so if this doesn't make sense give me some grace!! i love you all dearly from the bottom of my heart, natty raye.

[neoplatinum]

north and south poles | minatozaki sana

summary: sana wonders, are we not the two sides of the magnet?

pairing: childhood-friend!sana x fem!reader

themes: extremely angsty, best friends to ?? to ??, internalized homophobia, gender dysphoria, sana's not too great of a friend, reader is a pushover until she isn't, implied sex, original male character, [----] x reader

wc: 3.3k

(side a: we can't be friends - ariana grande)

when sana's seven, her mother explains the cardinal rules in life. that boys and girls are polar opposites, like two sides of the coin, or like left and right. boys and girls are like the north and south poles of a magnet. and for a long time this holds true.

boys like to play rough, kick dirt over each other, chase after poor cats in hopes of catching them, or smack each other in the head. it's all a bit too gruesome for sana. she never did like watching them play, it felt like they were fighting. boys are like boxing matches, competing for a top winner. but girls are different.

girls are gentle, they play with dolls together, creating groups to play house or sliding down slides, and everyone cheers each other on. girls also like sharing cool things they found: cute rocks, rings, and toys. girls are like gentle waves crashing against the beach.

sana makes this distinction very early on, boys are boys and girls are girls. there's no in between for a seven year old sana. and life gets explained to her pretty easily by her mom. be a pretty girl, and you'll marry a good man who'll protect you and your family.

but her mother also told sana that you were a rowdy kid. a girl that played with the boys; you liked kicking dirt at the boys, chasing cats to catch them, or smacking each other in the head. but you were a girl, you also liked playing with dolls, and sliding down slides. you especially liked cute rocks, so you were someone she needed clarification with how to categorize as a kid.

so she asked her mom about you.

"oh her, she has no manners. her parents probably don't have enough time to teach her all that. they're both always so busy at work." her mother's chopping onions as she speaks, not lifting an eye at sana. and little sana rocks herself back and forth in the kitchen, a little confused by her own mom.

she's met your parents, they were nice people. offering royal milk tea to her, even if she wasn't allowed to have it. they always gave sana first pick for dishes they made, always. and like them, you often gave her parts of your lunch whenever sana was given too little.

and when sana enters middle school, this cardinal rule starts to shake a bit. boys are boys and girls are girls, but you are a girl, with boy-ish tendencies.

you liked playing rough with fuji, throwing dirt at each other even if it stained each other's school uniform. you liked shoving bigger boys when they were mean to girls, even if you had a black eye and sana had to rub a hard boiled egg over it.

but you were also as gentle as a girl, you held sana's hand gently whenever she wanted to walk along the rock wall, balancing on the ledge. you also helped blow and wash off sana's cuts whenever she scraped her knee in dance. just like how her mother does it.

you were the in between, and in between's don't exist in her mother's cardinal rule. when her mother and father sit at the dinner table and sana's mother asks her which boy in class she thinks is cute. sana doesn't think of any boy, but she thinks of you. you with your rough exterior with the older boys, but gentle and soft to sana, always.

"fuji?" her mother asks her. and sana thinks about fuji, a dependable friend in her life. a boy that is also gentler, although sometimes she thinks he's too loud during basketball. he shoves harder than you do, when you three play tag together. his hands are more rough, he towers over sana and really she sees him like an older brother.

sana thinks fuji is exactly the guy that her mother would like for her to marry.

"yeah, i think so." but sana really doesn't think so, her mind drifts off to your long hair and your soft shoulders.

--

when sana's twelve and excited to go home with you after the sga meeting, fuji confesses to her at the back of the school. he presents to her a letter. and through it all, the only thing she could gather was that sana was the prettiest girl in their class, and she has the prettiest smile.

all these compliments feel nice, but it doesn't stir her like you do. when you tell her that her hair is pretty today or that the bow she chose to match her shoes makes her look look fashionable. she stands by the wall, hands behind her back and staring at her shoes. all she can afford to do is nod at the words.

she knows this much, fuji is nice enough. he doesn't kick her chair like some other boys in the class; he always lets her walk inside the sidewalk when there are cars. so when he asks for a first date, she agrees, not letting her eyes look up at him. he walks away relieved, but sana can't feel anything other than a weight in her stomach.

another cardinal rule her mother told her is that lying is wrong.

so she asks for your opinion, and as she stands by your desk, watching you peacefully take a nap. she thinks about just ripping up the letter in her hand. she readies herself for the best performance of her life. to ask you a question that's self-indulgent. if you'll be her first kiss. and just like that she broke another cardinal rule, lying to you, but mostly to herself.

she thinks your lips would be soft, smelling like that cherry lipstick you like so much. and when you do kiss, she feels like she's floating. your hands are soft, when they cradle her jaw. moisturized with that cherry hand cream she gifted you. your hands are smaller too, they fit her head nicely. and most of all you're gentle. you pull apart, and sana nearly falls forward, body leaning into the kiss.

you stare at her in expectation, and panic surges through her body. you aren't fuji, you are the girl that's always played rougher than other girls. a girl that'll always give her 100% during class sprints, while all the other girls lightly jog. and the first thing she can think of is that she wishes you were a boy.

so she say's the exact words that tear your heart apart.

“wow yeah, that was good.” sana fiddles with her school skirt, “i wish you were a boy, you’d make a girl very happy kissing her like that.”

sana says that, but she watches as your eyes fall, hand dejected, and she can't help but feel like everything she knows about love is wrong. you don't say anything, so she leaves, closing the sga door behind her.

eyes welling up in tears as she thinks about how wrong this all is. if only you were a boy. she sinks onto the floor and cries into herself. when sana goes on the date, and fuji kisses her at her doorstep, she thinks of you. how he has to bend down to kiss her, and it all feels so wrong. later that night she starts a pros/cons list between you and fuji.

the only thing she has written for fuji is that "mother would like him." she tears the sheet of paper and tosses it into her waste basket.

--

when sana's eighteen and talking to her friends about boyfriends. all they have to say is that sex is amazing. they all talk about their first time and when they ask sana of what she thinks, she confesses that she's never done it.

"doesn't fuji ask you to?" one friend asks.

"no, he doesn't." the girl looks at sana weird but then shakes her head quickly.

"some guys are like that, they might not want to do it yet." she comments and then the conversation shifts on to talk about the latest school gossip.

sana's quiet for the rest of the week. she thinks about it, sex with fuji, and all she can do is groan. it's the natural progression of a relationship, but she feels like it's a weight in her stomach. that same weight she felt when he confessed to her.

so she does what she naturally did next when she was twelve; she finds you. she hasn't visited your house in years, it's still the same, even though there's a new door that she doesn't recognize anymore. and when she rings it, she finally sees you up close after so long.

she thinks about what she came here for in the first place. oh right, sex with fuji. so she comes up with the best excuse she can, that fuji wants to have sex. she knows its absurd, she's lying through her teeth, none of the reasons makes sense.

but the way you look right now, she can't think of anyone else she wants to have sex with. it stirs low in her stomach. her wanting you, so she lets a bit of truth in her lie.

"i need you to be my first, i want you to be. it can't be anyone else." sana is firm, but you look conflicted. eyes flitting all over the room. debating your morals.

she grabs your hands. eyes with want as she stares at you, and then you say yes. and suddenly the weight is lifted. sana feels like she's floating again.

when you pull her into your room, she feels like she's invincible. this room has always been so safe, and the way you stare into her with want, she thinks she wants to stay here forever in your arms.

the way you ask for permission, the way you constantly ask her if this is what she wants. asking if she's feeling good, gentle hands smelling like cherries that slip off her clothes. she thinks she'll stay naked like this forever if you asked her to.

her mind fills with you, shouting your name into the night where only you two exist in this world. she thinks this is right, this is what love is all about. this little bubble lasts only a night.

weeks later, she proposes sex to fuji, and he nods adamantly. like a horny teenager boy, which he is. but it all feels so off, even though she know's that he'll never cross boundaries. his hands feel too rough, he's too fast and he never asks sana how she feels.

sana feels the emptiest when she thinks back to how she thanked you when she left your room, when all she wanted to say was "i love you." and cherish you for the rest of her life.

--

when sana's nineteen on her birthday, all she can think of is how she hates fuji's arms around her shoulder. how you stare at the arm like it's the most offensive thing in the world. and sana agrees too, it is offensive, so she shoves it off, playing it off like she has an itchy shoulder.

she smiles at the way you relax back into your seat, like you staked your claim on her. it makes her feel wanted by you. even if she knows its wrong that you kiss her messily in the bar bathroom five minutes later, she feels like life is right.

--

when sana's twenty, bored out of her mind in her apartment with fuji. she thinks of you, she often does anyways. eyes wide when she comes up with the best plan. she purposely fights with fuji, calls him too suffocating, watching tears roll down his eyes, and she feels bad. she really does, she hates seeing him cry because of her, but she needs to get away.

so she calls you, bags packed and waiting by the door. her heart leaping in her chest when you knock on the door. grabbing her bags and asking her to stay in the car. giving stern words to fuji before finally leaving together. away from fuji.

sana stays with you for weeks, waking up and sleeping next to you. always attached to the hip, just like magnets. she lets herself believe this is her life, living with you, being with each other forever. she fits perfectly in your hold, as well as you in her. she always tells you she loves you, but only after you fallen asleep. she whispers it into your ears like they'll be heard. like a spell she put you under.

she doesn't think about fuji until he texts her much later, asking if it's okay to meet up and make up. so she goes back, feeling awful about letting her boyfriend believe she's mad at him. she avoids you for months to not feel the guilt. but it eats at her every day.

--

when sana's twenty-four and enjoying a stroll in the city with fuji. he proposes to her, with both their families around for the surprise. as she listens to him, one knee up, professing his love for her. she looks at her mother, her mother with happy tears in her eyes and she can't find herself to say no, so she says yes instead.

wedding planning is fun when she thinks about it as a wedding with you, so the best she can do is ask you to be her maid of honor. she presents to you the wedding invitation in your apartment. talking your ear off about how happy she is, watching you get more and more upset.

just waiting for you to tell her you want to run away with her, to elope together. move away and change names and live in europe together. she lists off all the things she can think of that a girl would like in a wedding, but you never ask her to run away. she knows its selfish, to want you to pull her out of her life, she just can't find the courage to pull herself out of it.

you show up to the wedding, in a gorgeous dress that she thinks that she would marry you in right now. you give a speech about how you, fuji, and sana all met. you talk with so much passion in your voice. she thinks that you might actually be happy for them. sana cries tears out of despair, maybe you really do think sana loves fuji. but she's in love with you.

when you make an analogy that fuji and sana are like magnets drawn to each other, the whole crowd awws, and sana feels her heart break. thats how she sees you and her, a perfect match. the rest of the wedding becomes unremarkable to her.

when you disappear, sana searches for you: eyes wide and frantic. calling up all your friends and family, but they all say the same thing, "she said she's going on vacation for a while, soul-searching?"

sana visits your house everyday, waiting for you to show up like hidden treasure. ever since she's found out she's been pregnant, she's been trying to find tell you about it. you should be the first to know, but you don't show up until a month later.

and when sana wakes up to the sight of you, it's like she's whole again. she walks away from that conversation sadder than ever, you don't drown in her eyes anymore. hands shuffling and changing positions often as she explains about her new incoming newborn.

--

when sana's twenty-five you walk out of her life. after the long labor and intense pain she went through, out came her little baby girl. wailing and crying at the introduction of the world, fuji's trying to wipe down sana's sweat and calm her down, but sana's drowsiness leads to her calling out your name instead, fuji think it's strange but doesn't comment on it. she sleeps for a long time.

when she wakes up to fuji excitedly telling sana that you are visiting. she tries her best to smooth out her hair and her heart rate jumps at the news. so she gets ready for you to visit her.

she thinks she'll name her daughter after you, the same girl she's so in love with. when she proposes the idea, you shut her down. she's never heard this tone before, so harsh and so mean. but she deserves it, the same way she knows she deserves all things bad to her when you look so dejected every time she leaves. she needs you by her side, she can't do motherhood alone with fuji, she doesn't think she can do life without you.

but then you say it, words that make her feel like her heart got pulled out of her chest. you pulled it out. you're moving away, a whole different country, a whole life without sana. and you want to, be away from sana. she can hear it in the way you say it, the way you stand up from the visitor's chair, having only sat there for a minute. the way you walk out of the room. you would have kept walking out had fuji not stopped you.

and sana's angry, after all this, you walk away. she can't tell who she's angry at anymore. angry at you, angry at fuji, angry at her mom, angry at the world. and she lands on it, she's angry at herself. with hot tears running down her face, you look back one more time, and you still leave. like you just double checked that it is exactly what you want to do, leave sana all alone.

--

when sana's thirty and thinking, "yeah, i am okay after all this time." she isn't. because her little girl has just run into you. and nearly hit her head, falling back. but with gentle and caring hands, you stand her back up. asking her daughter if she's alright. and as her daughter runs back to sana, sana can see you for the first time in five years.

your hair is longer, you look more tired, more lines on your face. but your eyes are still so wild, familiar eyes that she's found herself dreaming about for years. for five years to be exact, she dreams of you returning. so you walk up to sana and fuji, calm and collected about seeing them after five years.

but sana's panicking, like she's seen a ghost. you basically are a ghost in sana's life, she's been wondering lately if you really have been there in her life, if not for photos she really wonders if this is all a dream.

a dream that comes crashing down, you pick up a small girl, she's younger than sana's daughter. but she's got your wild eyes and cute nose. and sana thinks that she could die here. right now the rug could be pulled out from under her and she wouldn't utter a peep.

you have a daughter, and a wife. a gorgeous wife who smiles at you like how sana used to. and her eye line follows, you look your wife with the same passion of when you were both eighteen and far too stupid to understand anything in the world. you look at this woman like you used to look at sana.

"it's been a while." sana's voice cuts in. she needs to hear your voice after so long.

"yeah, i guess it has." you reply, finally looking at her after so long. sana gulps, willing the tears away. you sound the same, lighter than your last conversation, like you've made peace with it.

"honey, you're crying." fuji says wiping away sana's tear and you smile at that. like you've finally accepted fuji as her husband.

"oh i didn't notice." sana laughs, rapidly wiping her tears away. she's embarrassed, here she is thinking that you still love her, but you don't. not anymore.

sana tries her best to talk with fuji and momo. them talking about their line of work and interests. but sana can only stare at you.

eyes wide open.

--

a/n: i think im actually evil for writing this. like no joke. but anyways!! stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

[ryanisasleep]

So I was just getting into piercings (don't wanna get any though) and my mind spiraled

Both SFW and NSFW MDNI

CW: Drugs usage and blowjobs, mafia AU, and...nothing else?

I wanted to make a proper oneshot of this but alas I need to clear my head.

You got them in your rebellious phase, wearing dark clothes, smoking, going out with bad people and starting to do a small little bit of drugs judt to piss of your parents and on top of all, you got tattoos and piercings.

Your parents, strictly cristians, didn't know anything about it but grew suspicious. Nevertheless, you still got good grades and by the time they accidentally discovered it, they kicked the shit out of you. (18 was your age)

Atp you knew you had to get your shit together and you decided to spend your remaining money on a crappy apartament. At least it had a fairly decent room where you could lay your sleeping bag on.

Now came the money problem, what could you do? You were still in college and you had to somewhat pay rent and the school fees so you had to go and search for one that paid well.

While passing through the alleys of your poor town you passed at the entrance of a bar, now closed but you saw an announcement for a vacant place, a stripper place.

Now your parents bombarded you with "Do not go to places like that, bad guys and the mafia is there," or "do that and we will disown you" type of shit but you were really desperate so you decided to email the place once got back home.

It was a good way to make money fast and easy.

You met the owner of the place, a good man with mutton chops and light blue eyes and he was glad to have another worker, this time he was happier than ever since it was a guy and after a good talk on the basic things he assigned you the job.

The first time you worked there you were nervous.

You entered when the place was still closed and you saw workers setting the lights, sofàs tables and drinks. You didn't kbow what to truly do until another man with a mowhack greeted you with rather joy.

"Well hello there! You must be the new guy!" he was shorter than you but he certainly didn't lack the muscles...

"Well yeah, I am..." "Oh I know who you are don't be shy! My name is John Mactavish and I will show you around big guy!"

After talking and getting the place shown he got you in the private rooms "Damn you are big for sure, how many pushups can you do?"

He pooked at your arms, squeezing them like some sort of cat face. "Too many, too many since bootcamp"

You explained to him some of your past life and he replied he did some bootcamp too but had to leave for some family reasons.

.

Time skip

.

You were a real hit at that, you knew how to move and how to behave and the things you wore did help at enchanting your form. You realized that this place was an important one due to the fact that many contracts and businesses were done.

You asked Johnny what was all of this about and he simply replied you that this is were the mafia connected with the other cities. It was a good place since many drug lords and other sort of people came here to discuss and have a good hookup once in a while.

After that you came back to your pole and continued like nothing ever happend, you didn't really care about all of that since all you had to do was to earn cash to make you live longer.

But you were soon called into a different part of the club and there you realized you had to dance for other people.

At first it was no big deal but then you felt a hand passing on your sides and then slide on your back.

"Look here, the old man decided to hire someone else after that incident" it was a normal looking guy and his tone really did set your nerves off but he was quickly shushed by the head of the group, a tall man with a skull mask.

"Don't bother him, he does not know how to shut" he said after taking a drag of his cigarette.

After another bit of time he called in for a private booth.

Idk how to continue this

Basically then I had the idea of a blowjob...and...yeah you did that to him.

Imagine, like this guy expecting some relief after concluding a contract but the problem is you never did one so you were a bit hesitant

"Never did one before?" you nodded "Don't worry I can help you out. Open wide and no teeth"

You did and he unbuckled his belt revealing his member. He stroked it, and you heard a huff coming out of his mouth.

You loved his voice, you wanted to hear more and so you latched your tounge at the head, kitten licking it and slowly wrapping your mouth around it.

You heard many praises coming out of his mouth, such music for your ears and as you were all down and eagerly sucking his cock an idea came out in your head.

Teasing his piercings, all of 'em cuz by this time you understood that this guy was one hell of a good bottom. I mean, he ordered the complete service....

TBC I WANNA WRITE THIS THING BETTER

Also, you do not go to college, sorry for that, you have to pay your parents debts

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

The Turkey Baster Experiment

Summary: Her cousin just had a baby via turkey baster, supposedly. Robin had to find out if it actually works. Based on this.

A continuation of me cleaning out my drafts.

1990, Chicago, Illinois

The Rockie Harrison Apartment (named in combination of all of their names)

It was Robin and Eddie's day off of work, so they were busy lounging in their pajamas watching Scooby-Doo. Their partners hadn't been so lucky. Steve was working as a middle school teacher, so of course, he didn't have a day off during the week. Vickie was working in a library at a different school, unfortunately, while she worked on also publishing her own book. Eddie worked as a mechanic. Robin worked at a bakery while also tutoring kids with their Spanish and French on the side. Some of them were rich kids, so occasionally, she could afford to take a few days off like she was now.

"You're such a Velma," Eddie said with a shake of his curls.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Robin said. "Velma is very cute."

"That would make Vickie Daphne?" Eddie asked.

"Duh, she can be such a Daphne sometimes," Robin grinned fondly.

"Steve is such a Fred," Eddie sighed dreamily.

"You're definitely a Shaggy," she said. "And the kids are definitely all Scooby."

"Robin. . .I'm feeling that empty nest thingy again!" Eddie exclaimed and pouted.

"It has been almost a year since they've graduated, and we moved here. Weeks since they've called us. It's not like we practically raised them or anything," Robin pouted. "Do you think they've forgotten about us?"

After the kids graduated high school, Steve and Robin decided to move to Chicago with their partners, who were happy to move anywhere as long as it wasn't Hawkins. It was in Chicago that they found a lovely abandoned old firehouse. It took some TLC, but it was liveable, and it housed them all perfectly. Plus, Eddie loved the pole that went down to the first floor, specifically when Steve used it as a stripper pole. Vickie and Robin had vowed never to use it once they learned what they did with it.

"Rob, they're in college now. El, Lucas, and Max are starting this new relationship. Will and Mike are still dancing around each other since Will broke up with Gareth. They're probably really busy," Eddie shrugged and then paused to wail, "They have forgotten about us!"

Suddenly, the phone rang, and Robin nearly broke her neck, jumping over the back of the couch to answer it.

"Oh, hey, mom," Robin said.

Eddie sighed and crossed his arms, pouting in his seat.

"Darn kids," Eddie muttered.

He focused on the show as Robin talked with her mother. Occasionally, he lifted his head when he heard Robin gasp about something. When the phone call was done, the episode of Scooby-Doo was finished, and another one was starting.

"What was that about?" Eddie asked Robin.

"My cousin finally had a baby. Although she didn't tell anyone that she was pregnant and it's crazy how she got pregnant in the first place," Robin said.

"Not the normal way?" Eddie asked in surprise.

"Well, she and her husband have been trying to have a baby for a while, but it hasn't happened, so she decided to take matters into her own hands," Robin said.

"She fucked another guy?!" Eddie gasped.

"Nope," she said.

"She fucked another girl?" Eddie asked in confusion.

"Dingus! No! She used a turkey baster and get this: she didn't use her husband's sperm to do it. She used his brother's!" Robin exclaimed.

"There's no fucking way," Eddie scoffed.

"She did. Her husband only found out because he went to the doctor and discovered he couldn't have kids," she said. "She told him the truth when he confronted her."

"No, not that. There's no way she got pregnant using a turkey baster," Eddie said.

"She did!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Didn't."

"Did."

"Didn't!"

"I'll prove it," Robin said.

"Fucking how?" Eddie asked.

"You have a turkey baster of your own. You should be able to understand the concept of how she did it," Robin said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"No, I mean how the fuck are you going to prove it?" Eddie asked.

"Well, we have a turkey baster, and I happen to be ovulating," Robin said.

"Okay, so what happens if you do get pregnant?" Eddie asked.

"Then you get a baby like you and Steve have been talking about," Robin said. "Although Vickie's been kind of broody lately too."

"So, this kid would have two moms and two dads?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah," Robin said.

"This kid is either going to be the queerest kid ever, or we're all so queer that they're going to be the straightest person alive," Eddie snickered.

"Either way, because of us, they'll be the fast talking son in the west," Robin said.

"It could be a girl," Eddie said.

"No, it's play on words for - never mind. Are we doing this or not?" Robin asked.

"Hmm, maybe Steve and Vickie are right. Maybe we shouldn't hang out without them," Eddie said.

"Coward," Robin said.

Eddie and Robin stared at each other for a while. Eddie glared at her.

"Do it," Eddie said.

"You're up first, big guy," Robin said.

"Right."

Robin gave him a cup and shoved him into the bathroom. She waited rather impatiently outside the door. A couple of minutes later, she heard him groan in frustration.

"Problems? Just think about Steve at the beach when he ate that vanilla ice cream cone, and it started dripping into his sweaty, hairy beast of a chest, but instead of you gawking at him like an idiot, you reach over and start licking - "

"Okay, it's up! Stop helping!" Eddie shrieked.

Eddie glared at her when he walked out of the room and handed her the cup. She took it, and the turkey baster into the restroom, her head held high. He leaned against the wall, smirking when he heard Robin complain loudly.

"Well, if I didn't know I was a lesbian before this, this is definitely what would turn me. Disgusting!" Robin exclaimed.

"I've heard no complaints from Steve when he swallows!" Eddie exclaimed cheerfully.

"Gah!" Robin exclaimed as she came out of the bathroom. "It's done."

"Now what?" He asked.

"Now we wait," Robin said.

She threw herself down on the couch, turned herself upside down, and threw her legs over the back of the couch.

"What are you doing?" Eddie asked.

"Helping your little guys find their way," Robin said. "Plus, it's a cool way to watch Scooby-Doo."

Eddie shrugged and copied what she did.

"Now, we wait," Eddie said.

An uncertain amount of weeks later. . .

Eddie was alone in the apartment while Vickie took Robin to a doctor's appointment. Steve was at work. Eddie was working on writing music when the door to the apartment burst open. Vickie stared at Eddie while Robin stood nervously behind her.

"Did you get my girlfriend pregnant?" Vickie asked.

"It was her idea! She seduced me!" Eddie said.

"How?!" Vickie asked.

"She called me a coward!" He exclaimed.

Vickie giggled and threw herself at him, hugging him tightly.

"It's hard to stay mad at the mother and father of my child even if it was reckless of you guys," Vickie laughed again. "Just wait until Steve comes home."

"Oh God, Steve," Eddie realized, his face pale.

Eddie waited around nervously for Steve to come home. When he finally did, he walked in with a smile on his face. Oh good, he had a decent day. . . It was a decent day that Eddie was probably about to ruin. He walked up to Steve, greeting him with a tight hug and a kiss. He snuggled into Steve’s side, his cheek pressed against his. Eddie traced patterns in his chest.

"Hi," Steve said, looking at him in confusion.

"So, how mad would you be at me if I got your platonic soulmate pregnant?" Eddie asked.

"What is this now?" Steve asked with wide eyes.

"Robin's cousin got pregnant by turkey baster, and I called bullshit on that, then Robin wanted to prove it. I jerked off into a cup, and Robin squirted it up her hoo-ha with the turkey baster. Then, several weeks later, here we are," Eddie said and paused. "So, how was your day, sweetheart?"

Steve sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, trying to wrap his head around Eddie's ridiculous description of the situation. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and plopped down at the table.

"So, how are you feeling about this?" Steve asked Vickie and Robin.

"Excited," Vickie grinned. "We're all going to be parents."

"So, all four of us, huh?" Steve asked.

"Yes," Robin said.

"We're having a baby," he said softly, and then he grinned. "We're having a baby!"

"Three bisexuals, a lesbian, and a baby!" Eddie exclaimed, and they all looked at him. "What? Spock directed that film."

Steve laughed, pulled him into his lap, and kissed him.

"I'm happy this happened, but maybe next time you want to get Robin pregnant, maybe get all of us involved," Steve grinned.

"Hey, I was just trying to prove Robin wrong," Eddie said and smiled softly. "I'm glad I was the one who was wrong."

"I just realized this baby is going to part Robin and Eddie," Steve said.

"Oh god!" Vickie laughed.

"Hey! You guys are supposed to love us!" Eddie exclaimed.

"This baby is going to kick the shit out of me, aren't they?" Robin asked, holding her stomach.

Several months later. . . after many shenanigans during which Robin discovered that she could use Steve and Eddie as her willing puppets. . .

"Wednesday, huh?" Steve asked as he held the baby in his arms.

"You said we couldn't name her after a Scooby-Doo character," Eddie said defensively.

"Besides, you always said you love Wednesday because she reminds you of Max," Robin said.

"I'm not complaining, I love the name," Steve said grinning.

Wednesday Elizabeth Munson-Buckley had started arriving sometime during the middle of the night, much to Robin's annoyance. She had been busy sleeping. Wednesday had arrived that afternoon, surrounded by doctors and all of her parents. Now, here they were in Robin's hospital room, with Eddie and Vickie cooing over Steve’s shoulder.

"You did great, baby," Vickie said tearfully. "She's beautiful."

Vickie kissed Robin deeply before going back to gazing at the baby.

"You want to go next, don't you?" Robin asked her girlfriend.

"What?" Vickie asked.

"If we ever decide to give Wednesday a sibling, you want to be the one that's pregnant, don't you?" She asked in amusement.

"Ooh, both her and Steve could go next," Eddie said.

"Let's just see how this one goes," Steve said, laughing. "But probably."

"Oh, I called Uncle Wayne. He cried like, well, a baby when I told him I wanted to give her a w name in honor of him. He's going to call everyone else and let them know. So, we're probably going to have a full house sometime in the next few days," Eddie said.

Steve grinned and passed the baby back off to Robin. She smiled and stroked the top of Wednesday's head.

"Oh, I want her to have the whole world," Robin said.

"So, you want her to be an evil super villain hellbent on world domination?" Eddie asked.

"It's what she deserves," she said.

"She'll succeed where men have failed," Eddie said proudly.

"Yeah, that's a no," Steve scoffed.

"We're just keeping her options open, Stevie," Eddie said.

"It's not set in stone," Robin said. "We're just letting her know that we'll love her no matter what."

"I'm not supporting our daughter becoming a super villain," Vickie laughed.

"I guess we know who the fun parents are," Eddie said.

It certainly wasn't an everyday situation, and most people would call it abnormal, but to the four of them and the people they loved, it wasn't so strange. Wednesday would grow up to be well loved with four supportive parents and with an extended family to match. Stranger things have happened than a child growing up loved and isn't that the most important thing of all. . . That the child was loved?

[wileycap]

THE TORCH (Headlines from the end of the Hundred Year War, as collected by the Royal Museum and the Military Historical Society)

The Torch was a newspaper founded in year four of Fire Lord Azulon's reign and shut down in year 16 of Fire Lord Zuko's reign. It had two purposes: to act as a mouthpiece of the current regime and to provide sensationalist entertainment. Due to the oft-conflicting nature of these dual purposes, examining the Torch can provide insight into Fire Nation society during the War and the spread of information within it. The Torch was occasionally permitted to gently criticize the government, leading scholars to believe that its true purpose was to alleviate public tensions and moderate criticism of the War.

Barbarians Destroy Grand Fleet At North Pole: Unnatural Powers Used, Fire Lord Ozai Vows To Protect Nation

Obituary For Admiral Zhao: "Not well-liked or particularly competent, but still mourned by 5-12 people in the nation"

Air Nomad Terrorist Sighted In The Earth Kingdom: "Possibility of Earth terrorism in the homeland", Cautions Top Official

Air Nomad Terrorist 'Oung' Sighted In A Swamp: Possible Drug Use?

Air Nomad Terrorist Kidnaps The Daughter Of EK Noble Beifong Amidst Rising Cries To Submit To The Fire Nation- "Helpless and blind"

Giant Drill Launched, Destroyed In The EK - Expert: "Definitely the best way to spend the equivalent of three years' GDP. All hail Fire Lord Ozai."

War Minister Caught In "Peace Conspiracy": Fired (Note: A correction was later printed, clarifying that the minister was burned to death.)

VICTORY! Fire Nation Covert Forces Capture Ba Sing Se, Led By Princess Azula

Disgraced Prince Spotted In Tender Moments With EK Sweetheart - "A travesty"

JUSTICE! Air Nomad Terrorist Uang Killed

Prince Zuko And Princess Azula Return To The Homeland

Prince Zuko Confirmed As Crown Prince: "Now that his official mission to strike out at our enemies is complete, the Prince will resume his duties"

The Most Eligible Bachelor? Prince Zuko Is Still Without Bethrotal

Royal Etiquette Trainer Slams Top Bachelorette Princess Azula: "Time to find a suitable match"

Renowned War Hero Princess Azula Has No Plans To Marry, And That's Okay

Former Etiquette Trainer Imprisoned For Defaming The Royal Family

East Coast School Life Disturbed By Cave Dancing

Fire Nation Factory Relocated In A Planned Way Without Any Explosions, Officials Report: "There are no river spirits in the Fire Nation"

Vicious Teen Arrested For Scamming, Destroys Part Of Peaceful Town: "This is why truancy laws are necessary"

Prince Zuko, Princess Azula Spotted Relaxing At The Beach: Six Injured, Luxury Mansion Destroyed

Spooky! Old Woman Keeps People Prisoner Under A Mountain

Two Ministers Jailed For Spreading Lies: "Prince Zuko was never banished and to claim that he was is a crime", Says Palace Spokesperson

Airship Fleet Unveiled, Thwarts Barbarian Incursion

Traitorous Former Prince Zuko, Who Was Banished For Three Years, Abandons His Nation

Front Falls Off Of Airship: "Highly unusual, I'd like to make that point"

Concerns Raised Over Fire Nation Engineer Uniforms: "Revealing and chafes my nipples"

Are Ancient Civilizations Still Here? "No", Says Expert

Escape At Boiling Rock! Two Prisoners Freed, Two Traitors Captured: "Really, the result is a net zero, if you think about it" (Note: No corrections were issued, despite a factual error in the number of escaped prisoners.)

Decorated Veteran Harrassed By Teen Girl, Own Mother

Hilarious! Ember Island Players Debut New Comedy

Fire Lord Zuko Ascends The Throne, Promises Era Of Peace

6 Reasons Why Fire Lord Ozai Is The Most Successful Ruler In History

Sozin's Comet Approaches, Officials Caution Against Firebending In Public

Four Things You Need To Do During Sozin's Comet To Ensure Prosperity For Your Family

Phoenix King Ozai Launches Surprise "Final Strike"

Ozai Of The Fire Nation Held For Crimes Against Humanity

Avatar Aang Brokers Truce

Is Fire Lord Zuko Still Single? Speculations Erupt

[yanderederee]

OnStage

ෆ Kuran Yotsurugi x reader ෆ

a/n: replacing y/n with yan/yannchan; I think it’s a cute alternative ~ please love kuran with me with this idea I’ve had in mind to write since day ONE♡

I was told reader has the same energy as Maxine from X(2022) … do with that as you will lol

part 2 in progress (?)~

✦ •·································•✦ʚ♡ɞ✦•··································• ✦

Blinking a few times to properly adjust the contact lenses you’d just put in, you watched the blurry vision of yourself in the mirror slowly turn into a clear image. Beautifully dolled up with lash extensions and not a strand of hair out of place. You’d had to admit, you looked immaculate.

Adjusting the last final touches of your lip liner and the thin straps of your outfit, you gave the duel image of yourself a wink and a mocking kiss before skipping toward the exit of the dressing room.

It was difficult to recall exactly how long you’d been working under the Yotsurugi, but due to your late father leaving behind such a massive debt, it fell to you to pay off the rest.

It wasn’t as heartbreaking as it sounded; adulthood wasn’t exactly as glamorous as you had imagined it would be, after graduating school. Finding work was hard— hard enough that even your own father with an already established career had to even lean upon the Yotsurugi family for financial support to help get by.

When he’d finally kicked the bucket, an accident that was surely his fault anyway, loan sharks from Ikebukuro became adamant on receiving their fair compensation. Obviously having nothing else to give them, you meekly offered to pay the debt off fairly, with good-old-fashion labor.

Luckily, the boss of the Yotsurugi’s Ikebukuro branch had been lurking behind, in case there had been any fall out. Having taken a good long look at you, he agreed to your offer with a weak wave to follow them.

It became clear you weren’t the only one who had been caught in this type of situation. While it was obvious the Yotsurugi were a big deal in the crime syndicate, they were evidently merciful. You heard from a few other girls working along side you that Kongo Yotsurugi had advocating for fair debt repayment with no interest. You were lucky it was them, and not some other shady loan-sharks who would kill you to settle the score.

And just as mercifully, you’d been offered a few different occupational options on how you could work yourself to freedom; dishwashing, waitressing, stage cleaner… but nothing payed quite as good as stripping.

It was your own choice to take the job. And even though you knew in the back of your mind it wasn’t really your choice, you were happy.

There was a joy; a rush of excitement and endorphins that made you absolutely shine on stage. The roaring cheers, the glittering lights and dancing rain of money every night truly made you feel alive.

You weren’t sure how much longer it would take to pay off your debt, but you couldn’t help wishing it would never end.

Having lost yourself in the pleasure of dancing once again, your chest heaved with deep breaths, heart beating a million times per minute. You smiled so wide, giggling to yourself when finally meeting eyes with some of your regular visitors. They were so happy to see you. And the feeling made you soar.

Waving a cutesy goodbye and a final shake of your ass to the roaring crowd, you skipped back behind the stage and accepted the water handed to you by another girl.

“You were amazing again today yanchan ~”

“I know right, she’s like a fairy with the way she spins around the pole! I’m so jealous~” another girl squealed, hugging you tightly and spinning you around.

“Aww thanks babes! Good luck out there Aya!”

You kissed the girl on her cheek before sending her off.

Over the course of your stay, you had made many close friends with the girls you worked with. Some came and went, but you always got along well with them all, and all the new girls came to view you as a big sister of sorts.

No matter how you got into this line of work, or how disgusting others may call you and your friends, you were living a life where you were finally happy. You felt fulfilled in the work you did, the people you worked with, the bed you slept in, and the food you ate. You never wanted for anything more.

Life was actually good.

Robing yourself in a cute short skirt and a puffy jacket, you came out to the VIP floor to order a quick drink before your next dance.

“Leeeeo~ drink pleeasse!~” you sang upon your arrival. The bar keeper looked your way, your cute display earning you a side smirk and a chuckle. “Even’in Yan. Good show just now, looking as brilliant as ever.” He complimented before picking through the liquor in front of him to conquer up your favorite weekday drink.

“I’d say,” added in a chuckling older gentleman sitting just a few seats over from where you sat. “Haven’t gotten this worked up by a dance like that before.”

You smiled at his sideways compliment, and lifted your newly gifted glass to the man. “Im happy you enjoyed it sir~ I hope to see you for my next dance.” You winked, and began scooting off the stool. Before your feet met the ground, the man had successfully grabbed your hand to stop you.

“Don’t bother, I know what you’ve got girl. And I like it. I’ll be sure to compensate you for all the money you’ll lose out on by skipping your next stage show. Come dance for me in a private room, won’t ya?” He looked down at you with a suggestive gaze. It wasn’t like he was bad looking, older men had their charm, especially the ones who frequented this night club.

But you weren’t interested in private dances. The glory of the job was the high you got from being on stage, not the money you got from it.

You smiled politely, confidently snaking your hand to play with his fingers, before sliding them out of his grasp. “Thanks for the offer baby, but I’m booked~ throw me a band on stage and I might indulge you in a drink and conversation once I’m done, ‘kay?~”

The gentleman narrowed his eyes, and toed down the stool, grabbing onto your forearm this time. “Not interested in seeing the same thing over and over again. Only way you’re getting my money is in a private room, catch me girly?” He grew closer, despite your trying to pull away. “I got lots of it. Enough to buy you out, if you please me well. Promise.~” he slurred in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

Behind the bar, your bartender had already pressed the bouncer alert, acting cool. Clubs like these had rules—strict ones, after all.

You glared at the persistent man, loosing your gleeful attitude. “Not interested. I recommend taking that hand off me, ‘nless you wanna lose it, baby.” You spat sweetly back in his ear. The closeness sent shivers down his spine, but not with fear. He smirked at the excitement, thinking it was some kind of game. “I’ll take my chances.”

He tried pulling you with him, but before he has the chance to move a foot, a man with white hair and vibrant tattoos blocked the way. You immediately felt safe, heart pounding at the sight of your boss; Kuran Yotsurugi.

“Kuran!~” you sang happily, yanking yourself free from the older man, and hopped to hide behind your shirtless boss. “Sir didn’t wanna take no for an answer~” you pouted, but seemingly unphased, otherwise.

“And what was he asking?” He asked in monotone. “Wanted a ‘private dance’. Was giving me fuck-me eyes too… Made me feel grosss.” You answered, watching as the expression of the older man sink into fear.

“It wasn’t like that! She’s lying!” He groaned, trying to play it off as a misunderstanding. “Dancers these days are so full of themselv—-“ he began to ramble, before Kuran landed a solid right hook to the guest’s jaw. “Fact of the matter is you made one of my girls uncomfortable. That’s reason enough for me to kick you out.” Kuran squatted down to meet the man eye to eye.

“My girl said she said no, so the answer’s no. Simple. Understand?” He asked slowly, coming in close to make sure he was heard.

The man gulped, holding his face before nodding hurriedly. “I’ll be more careful in the future.” He accepted.

Kuran nodded back, and slapped the man on the back of the head before standing up. “You’re out. Don’t come back for a week. Make sure you learn your lesson, ‘n maybe then I’ll let you back in.”

Once all was said and gone, you giggled, clinging onto Karan’s arm. “Boss always comes to save the day~” you acknowledged, nuzzling your cheek against his shoulder before he sighs. He patted your head roughly, and pushed you off with barely any force. “Just maintaining the order ‘round here. Would’a done it for any of the other girls too.” He huffed. You nodded, perching into a bar stool again.

“I know~ that’s what makes me love my boss sooo much after all. He’s always so considerate and protective of us~ A hero, a man among men!” You rambled in praise, making a few of the other girls who came upon witnessing the scuffle giggle. “We all appreciate your hard work in keeping this club a safe place for us to work.” You sealed your long winded praise, and finished off the drink you ordered just minutes ago.

The other girls began to fawn in a similar fashion, thanking Kuran for his ruthless display of protection.

He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes at your rallied attention, and began walking away. “Shut up and get back to work.”

Despite his standoffish demeanor, you and everyone else knew just how good of a guy Kuran was, and aimed to please him however you could.

Your smile softened as you watched him walk off, yearning for the chance to truly express your gratitude, or the developing feelings of love you’d felt for him ever since he gave you this beautiful new life.

Blowing a kiss to him behind his back, you hopped off the stool, and skipped back behind stage to ready yourself for the final dance of the night.

[misscinnamonroll16]

More of the brozone headcanons

John Dory is almost constantly complaining about either his neck or his back (lick my-) hurting

Bruce and Clay pull a Sokka and tell either Poppy or Viva that they don't really remember what their dad looked like but they often picture him looking similar to JD

Clay constantly leaves his clothes lying about and it pisses John off. And for once, Clay is NOT doing it on purpose.

I don't remember if I've said this already but John Dory takes it upon himself to do all of his brother's laundry. Like fold and everything. Problem is he doesn't tell them he's doing this. He just takes their laundry, washes it, dries it, folds it and puts it back. They only notice that their laundry has gone missing after it's been returned. The lil bros get together and are like "is it you? If it's not you then who?" Process of elimination at that point.

When Floyd drops something, he flicks it off before picking it up.

John Dory experimented with makeup when he was on his own. Not enough to be great at it or wear it all the time but enough. He definitely winged his liner with a knife.

Clay snorts when he laughs really hard

The younger brothers definitely still snitch on each other to John Dory. Clay being a little shit to Floyd and Floyd goes "John! Clay's being mean to me!" "Clay stop being mean to Floyd or so help me God, I'll come down there!" They all know it's incredibly childish and they're way too grown up to be tattling but that's not going to stop them

When they were in school, the younger brothers didn't do the thing of accidentally calling the teacher mom, they accidentally called their teacher John/John Dory/JD. John doesn't know about it and they'd like to keep it that way.

John likes cooking to music. He'll most often play some of their old albums and some of the other music their grandma had. It's all fine and dandy until one of the others walk into the kitchen and either scared the crap out of him or make fun of his dancing

The boys favorite candies: JD likes spicy candy and sour candy. Bruce likes the fruit candies, mike and ikes, things like that. Clay likes salted caramels and sour candy. Floyd is definitely a lover of chocolate but especially dark chocolate. Branch doesn't really have a favorite candy but if he had to pick he'd say gummies or gumdrops.

Floyd's room is decorated with posters and pictures all over the walls, you can barely see the actual wall.

Floyd convinces John to get his ears pierced after seeing John Dory just stare longingly at his ears (it sounds way weirder than it is 😆)

Floyd has the highest pain tolerance, then John, Branch, Clay and Bruce

Floyd definitely would walk around in an adult onesie (like a stitch one)

Floyd's favorite holiday is Halloween (or whatever it's called in their universe)

For Halloween, usually Clay dressed up as a superhero, Floyd was a princess, branch got roped into whatever Floyd was doing. The other two were "too old" to trick or treat but when they did dress up, John often went for either a hero or first responder. Bruce always tried the gory costumes

John feels like he can't do the things that his brothers do (mainly Floyd) with decorating their bodies. He's still got that "I need to be perfect" mentality, making him think he can't get body mods. Floyd convinces him to do the thing.

Floyd knows how to pole dance. He says he learned it for the exercise.

Clay still believes in Santa in secret

[alphajocklover]

As a kid, I watched a film that had these big cavemen tie a nerd to a pole before he was saved by his archaeologist friends. Since then, the idea of a bunch of cavemen taking a nerd to physically turn him into one of them while forcefully dumbing him down makes me so aroused. Too bad it didn't even happen in the movie, let alone real life...

‘Neanderthals!’ has been one of Terrance’s favorite movies since he was a kid, which made most of his friends very confused. A lot of them couldn’t figure out why he liked it so much. Terrance was the founder, president, and only member of his high school's movie club, the volunteer movie reviewer for his college newspaper, and generally the biggest movie buff that most people ever got to meet, but his favorite movie, out of all of the choices, was a C-list kids movie where a bunch of teen archeologist unfreeze three real cavemen who were stuck in an iceberg, and have to deal with their shenanigans. It was nothing special, just a lame kids movie that wasn’t even bad enough to be funny. None of his fellow movie buffs could figure out why you loved it so much, but the answer was surprisingly simple: that movie was Terrence’s sexual awakening. Watching the trio of muscular, hairy cavemen tie up a 15 year old nerd (who was played by a 19 year old actor for some reason) and dance around him ritually woke something up inside of him. He seriously thought for a moment that he was going to watch the nerd be turned into a caveman, and that fleeting thought has stuck in his mind for years like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He became fascinated with the idea of caveman transformations, and had watched the movie dozens of times over the years. Terrance had seen it so much he thought he knew everything about his favorite movie at this point, that he had every scene, every fact memorized. Until he heard about the missing scenes.

Like many small movies, the fanbase for it was incredibly small, but dedicated. It had one small reddit page, with about 7 people who regularly posted on it regularly, Terrance among them. Things were usually pretty calm there, until one day a newcomer to the forum reported that they had found a copy of the movie with deleted scenes. At first Terrance thought it had to be a scam, but the anonymous fan claimed he’d send a copy of the deleted scenes in the mail, for free, and Terrance accepted. He doubted the guy was trying to hack him with a DVD or something, so even though Terrance wasn’t expecting much, he gave the stranger his address (the address of a PO box. He wouldn’t give your address to a stranger, he was horny not crazy). He was shocked when he actually got the DVD as promised, and even more surprised when He put it on. As it blared to life, he immediately recognized the opening! It really was ‘Neanderthals!’ Or at least a version of it! The sender seemed to have cut out most of the scenes that were the same, leaving only the missing scenes and the opening left. Terrance watched in awe, laughing at the bloopers and making notes on the different scenes that were left out. Then, finally, they got to the scene you had been hoping for. 

It started out mostly the same as it did in the original movie, with one of the teen archeologists, Hal the stereotypical nerd, being kidnapped by the three cavemen, who danced around a fire as he was tied to a nearby pole. But soon the scene changed, and unlike in the original, the cavemen turned their attention to their captive. One of the cavemen, the one who gets redeemed toward the end of the movie and marries one of the main character Moms (like I said this was a weird movie), went up to Hal and rubbed some colored mud on his face, making distinct ritualistic markings. Terrance felt warm excitement come over him as he watched the three cavemen chant and dance wildly, and watched as what he always wanted to happen happened. Hal’s skin tanned slightly and his hair grew longer, wilder and dirtier. Terrance watched, entranced, as his muscles grew beefy and defined, practically able to feel the warmth coming from the fire as you did. He could see the actor's eyes glaze over as his brain seemed to melt and devolve, and could practically feel the dumb guffaw he made echo in your ears as his face became more gruff and his intelligence drained. This was exactly what Terrance had always wanted, what Terrance had been dreaming of seeing for years! Terrance’s itch was finally being scratched, and it felt so good. Terrance felt so good. Terrance felt great! Terrance felt… horny! He practically tore off his clothing, struggling with the buttons for some reason, and began to pull at his cock. He felt himself laugh dumbly and began to mutter.

“Terry is so… horny… Terry wants… pussy!” Terrance said, despite having been gay mere moments before. He laughed dumbly as the remains of his clothing magically transformed, becoming a loincloth. Terry continued to jerk his now growing cock as his changes finalized. Terrance was gone, replaced with Terry, a dumb, buff caveman, and all Terry wanted to do was to find a cave girl to plow.

**hey there! First time doing a caveman TF. Found it very hot (but also hard to find pictures for). Hope you guys liked it!**

[beamorgan]

One time in primary school they rented a May pole to teach us May pole dancing, presumably for reasons of Joy and Whimsy. During the second lesson, the teacher gathered us around.

"This is a May pole," she said.

Yes, we'd been introduced in the first lesson. It was still perfectly identifiable with the long ribbons hanging off it in different colours.

"Please," she said, with the air of a woman with regrets. "When you tell your parents about it, call it May pole dancing. I am not teaching you pole dancing. That is something else."

Turns out one of the kids was less than precise in his recounting, and his mother came in with Concerns. Oh to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.

To this day, I cackle at the image of the teacher, on the cusp of retirement, deciding she had no fucks left to give - she was going to teach twenty eleven year olds to pole dance

[highway-143]

back then- park sunghoon

genere: fluff, smut, friends to lovers

pairing: childhood friend!sunghoon x fem!reader

warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, creampie, breast sucking, size kink, public sex,(while the guys are over) swearing

synopsis: you and park sunghoon have been best friends since you were in third grade, but what happens when the line of friendship and romance is danced across too often for feelings to allow?

song: paranormal- enhypen

(proofread)

all scenarios are fake and are not meant to harm any idol in the story

------<3------

back then:

"ow ow ow! ow!" you shouted as you covered you bleeding knee with your hand, the other grabbing your back like an old lady, something a nine year old shouldnt be experiencing.

turns out, falling off the firemans pole on the school playground hurts. your scraped up knee was looking rough as you clutched it. your lower back ached with a duller pain, definitely less piercing as your poor knee.

you saw a shadow cover your spot on the woodchips. "are you okay?" said the squeaky voice of a boy your age.

you looked up at him, the sun making your eyes glitch while you tried to see his face.

once your vision was cleared, you saw a short boy with dimples and a cute bowl cut standing over you and looking at your busted knee. "do you need a band aid?" he asked, pointing a thin finger at the bloody skin.

"yes please." you said, tears forming in your eyes. you couldnt cry, not now, not with a boy standing right in front of you.

he ran to the first aid station by the bathrooms and fumbled for a bandage. when he hurried back over to you and knelt down, you tried to grab the band aid, but he wouldnt allow it.

"I'll do it, your hand looks scraped up too." he said while peeling apart the wrapper. you pulled your hands off of your leg and back and looked at them. both were bruised and the skin was dented from the failed attempt at catching your fall. just wonderful.

"im sunghoon," he put the large bandage over your knee and patted it with his hand. "who are you?"

"im y/n," you say, timidly walking into a conversation. "who's class are you in? i haven't seen you before."

"im in mr. jung's class, i just moved here last week." he crouched to sit on the pokey woodchips across from you, beding his knees to his chest.

"oh cool! im in mrs. lee's, we're right next door!"

he smiled and looked around the playground, searching the other children's faces. "do you have any friends?" he asked, wanting to get to know more people.

school had been rough for sunghoon so far. he couldve chalked it up to the fact that he was new, or that the kids needed time to get to know him, but the truth was that he was just an introvert. so were you, in a way. that's why you assumed he was talking to you, because you reminded him of himself, whether consciously or not.

"not really," you mutter, blushing and picking at a funny-looking woodchip. "i dont talk to people very much, i just do my own thing"

he grinned at your words, happy to find a new friend that was like him.

------<3------

now:

"SUNGHOON!" you called from the kitchen, staring at the dishes in the sink, piled up like someone was trying to recreate the leaning tower of piza out of ceramic plates and silver cutlery. "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THIS?"

he slinked into the room, a suppressed grin teasing his lips. he knew exactly what he was doing.

every time you come to hang out at his house, there are either dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, or socks on the lamps. you honestly dont know how he does it.

"im just magical" he said, taking the plate out of your hand and opening the dishwasher. "you do know its my house, right?"

"you do know that if i never came over, it would be an absolute crime scene, right?" you retorted, earning a laugh from sunghoon.

you couldnt help but stare when his forearms flexed, the veins in his hands showing very well as warm water flowed over them. the brush in his hand didnt make it better. you sat back and leaned against the marble counter, watching him clean up.

he glanced over his shoulder to catch your attention. "what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"probably gonna get dinner with hannah," you say while giving him a quizzical look. "why?"

"do you want to hang out with me and some of the guys? we're doing a movie night and they said i should invite you."

"why not? i just wont ask hannah then!" you say, laughing. you only ask hannah to hang out when sunghoon is busy and you need a friend, which is kind of rude, but you two arent as close as you and sunghoon.

he laughs along and flicks you with water from his long fingers, and you shriek in shock. "sunghoon! dont you dare, or i swear-" but you were cut off with another flick of hot water and a smirk

the water soaked into your oversized tee, clinging to your skin as sunghoon continued to pelt you with droplets. you ran to the couch and covered yourself with a blanket, and he tackled you onto the plush cushioning, his legs tangling with yours and his hair sweeping over your nose.

when you realized that your best friend was currently lying on top of you, his hips pressed against yours and his lips only inches away, you scrambled to push him off of you, huffing "youre too heavyyy!" and "get off you weirdo"

your heart hurt when he pulled away, the knife twisting a little bit more.

you knew that any romantic relationship with sunghoon was destined to fail, that being with him was practically impossible. the fandom would go absolutely insane and sunghoon would be in too much turmoil to fix it. just rumors of dating could ruin a career in k-pop, let alone actual relationships.

so you kept your distance, or at least as much as you could. you shut down any romantic feelings because you loved sunghoon too much to jeopardize his job. sometimes, all you could hope for was a crack in the kpop world, one where "fans" wouldn't try to hurt someone for finding happiness.

"i should head to work. lock the door when you leave" said sunghoon while standing from the couch.

"sounds good! i'll finish those dishes i guess." you mutter, rolling your eyes out of a mixture of amusement and annoyance. you stand up and go into the kitchen to get to work.

------<3------

back then:

sunghoon pushed his legs back and forth on the swing next to you. it had been almost two months since you two became best friends, and you were practically inseperable. every morning, you would walk to class together and talk about your soccer practice or his figure skating or whatever you thought of. it was great being able to finally have a friend to talk with and share things with.

you hand him a bag of kimchi, chewing on a piece of your own while slowly rocking back and forth on the swing.

sunghoon turned to you, opening his mouth to say something, but he stopped himself.

"what is it?" you asked, wondering what he was going to say.

"do you want to come to my competition this weekend?" his cheeks flushed when he asked you, and you laughed at his embarrassment.

"sure i'll come! i wanna see you on the ice!" you beamed at him and he grinned back, thrilled to have a friend that he could share his interests with.

------<3------

now:

"hey sunoo!" you said as he stepped into the house, kicking his shoes off and giving you a hug.

"hey y/n!" he started to walk to the couch, where jake, heeseung, and sunghoon were already sitting at. sunghoon was flipping through movies, pausing at a few to see if they looked interesting.

"what do you guys want to watch?" he asked, looking at everyone.

"i personally vote rom com, but thats just me" you said, laughing when everyone rolled thir eyes in an 'as usual' way.

"im feeling that too," said jake. "theres a good one on netflix that my mom liked"

"me three," said heeseung.

"its looking like rom com, you good with that sunoo?" asked sunghoon.

"i was hoping for avengers, but that works too," he laughed when you looked at him, confused. sunoo has never once expressed interest in any action film ever.

"im kidding!" he says, and you all burst into an insane laughter.

once the movie started, you and sunghoon went to make popcorn in the kitchen.

he pulled a packet of kernels out, handing it to you. "so, feeling romantic lately?"

you scoffed. "what makes you say that?"

"come on, we both know you only watch romantic movies when youre either on your period, or have a crush. and your period was last week, so im hoping its a new crush."

you smack his bicep and roll your eyes. "number one, no, i dont have a crush. number two, youre wrong, im ovulating. youre gonna have to deal with the rom coms i guess."

his face went blank, a lost in thought look that he had on a lot these days. you wished you could see into his brain, what he was thinking, what he was plotting.

"so, youre ovulating, hmm?" he whispered, pressing his chest against your back and putting his hands on your waist. the touch made your cheeks flush. "i can think of a way to cure the... excitement."

you leaned into his touch, soaking in his warmth. you let out a small gasp when he runs his hands in between your thighs. he cups your mound, gently stroking at your sweatpant-clad skin. the intimate touch sends your nervous system into a frenzy, scrambling to make sense of what you were feeling.

your best friend of over 15 years was finally touching you where you needed him most. however, as soon as he started, he pulled away.

"not here. ten minutes." and he walked back to the couch with a slight swagger to his step and a smirk on his face.

when ten minutes had passed, you "went to use the bathroom," but really snuck into sunghoon's room, taking a seat on his bed and twiddling your thumbs nervously. what were you doing? this was not best friend behavior.

sunghoon walked in, shutting the door quietly behind him and turning to you. "before we do anything, theres something i want to tell you"

your heart was beating faster by the second, almoat loud enough to the point where you couldnt hear him talking.

"i love you, y/n. ive loved you ever since that day on the playground. you have always been my best friend, but now i want you to be more. please tell me you feel the same." his voice trembled as he laid his feelings out.

"hoonie.... of course i love you. you are the sweetest, funniest, and most amazing person i know. i want more too."

you stand up and stand in front of him, grabbing and holding his hands. you look him in the eyes and kiss him, softly, tenderly.

he moans against your mouth and grabs your hips, pulling your knee up to his waist and deepening the kiss past the territory of "tender". your cunt throbbed while waiting for him, the pressure was too much.

he brought his hand down to your sweatpants and hooked a finger under them and your panties. he slowly pulled them down your legs and went straight for your slit with his nimble fingers, sliding them in while he continued to kiss you.

you whimpered as he thrust his digits in and out of you, hitting deeper than you ever could have yourself.

you felt your insides tighten, muscles clenching and your breathing becoming labored as he continued to flick his fingers inside you.

he grinned against your mouth when you let a soft "hoonie, im gonna come" slip out. and the band in your stomach loosened as you poured all over his hands, head rolling back and legs giving out. he held you up with one arm, the other hand still in you and feeling your flow.

sunghoon pushed you onto the bed and climbed over you, licking his fingers in the sexiest way possible, then sliding them in your mouth. you tasted yourself on his fingers, an impossibly arousing sensation coursing through your body.

he pulled his fingers out of your mouth and worked at the button of his jeans. you could see his erection pressing at the zipper. deciding this was as good a time as any, you tore off your shirt and bra and leaned back down.

sunghoon came back over you and kissed you again, putting a hand on your bare breast while the other arm held him up. he slid his tounge into your waiting mouth and let his tounge circle yours. you groan against his lips as he fondles your tender flesh, pinching and rolling your hard nipple.

"h-hoon... in me... please" you whine, pleading for him to finally enter you. you felt his length hard against your stomach.

he pulled away slowly, leaving your lips hungry for more while he lifted your legs. he moved your knees over his shoulders, a position that had you leaking, your cunt insanely wet.

"tell me if i hurt you, please" he says, his breathing labored.

"unh-" you moan as he slowly enters you. his tip was so large, he just barely fit it in. you squirm, the pain both pleasing and slightly uncomforatable.

sunghoon placed his hands on your hips, holding you steady. "you got this baby, so good... so good..." he groaned when your walls clenched around his slowly furthering length.

once many sounds had come from both mouths, as well as the point of your connection, sunghoon bottomed out, his large cock fully sheathed in your aching pussy. your head lolls to the side of your pillow as he leans forward, kissing your breast.

"h-hoon... i need... go... plea- ugh!" you let a loud whine slip out as sunghoon pulls out and slides back in harshly. you hear the squelches of your pussy against his cock and blush, feeling embarrased for the unholy sounds.

sunghoon only laughs at your shyness, grinning up from your chest. he looked so beautiful, your legs around his neck, his dick buried deep in you, his hair messy and his lips swollen and red.

he continues to thrust in and out of you, whimpers escaping your mouth as he repeatedly hit that spot deep inside of you.

sunghoon placed a hand on your abdomen, feeling the bulge of his cock pounding into you. he smirked in satisfaction, his size perfectly fitting you.

your eyes roll back as you feel the band in your stomach tightening again. it felt wonderful, your sweat falling down your neck, sunghoon panting against your breasts and his tounge licking up the dew forming between your mounds. it was everything you had wanted for the last 10 years, and yet... everything felt so different. in a good way, but different.

sunghoon let his head roll back as he pumped harder into you, your pussy in so much pain, the stretch so wonderful, yet too much at the same time.

"y/n... please tell me youre close.... i need to come... with you..." he pleaded with you, and that was all it took to tip you over the edge.

"sunghoon- ohhh" you whimpered his name, strings of curses coming out of your mouth as your cum spilled over his dick and eventually the bed.

he gripped your hips tightly as ropes of his cum filled you to the brim, pouring out of you only to be desperately fucked right back in by sunghoon's still thrusting cock.

your back arched with the orgasm coursing through you, your legs slumping to the sides, the strength to hold them on sunghoon's hips too much.

"baby.... oh my god, that was fucking wonderful," sunghoon said as he slumped over you. his chest pressed against yours, his legs tangled around you.

"mmmh- it was.... i love you so much hoon." you kiss his cheek, slowly pushing him off of you. "we should get back to the others now. theyre going to wonder where we went."

"yeah," he said, smiling at you. "but once theyre gone.... we're gonna stay up all night"

------<3------

a.n- feel free to comment with recommendations! i need ideas hehe - i hope yall enjoyed it!

masterlist

[writersblockworks]

Shit I did/said as a kid/teen as the Valorant agents (I’ve never had a concussion or broken bones)

Hey guys its close to finals week when im writing this i have no idea when ill post it, but enjoy!!

Brimstone: Took charge of a group project but ended up doing the whole thing myself. (15)

Viper: Willingly grabbed a wild snake to show my mom when I was 3, but cried when they wanted me to hold a tarantula (3 then 6)

Omen: For some reason me and my friends use to play that we lost our memory, we really just used it as an excuse to be mean. (I was 9)

Cypher: Spent hours on an app that let me see city cameras in china or something (9 maybe? I'm not sure)

Sova: The first time i went fishing with my grandfather (RIP grandpa) I was so proud, then i dropped it on the ground and it flopped into the water. (i was 5)

Sage: My friends and i would hop the fence at our elementry school to go pick wildflowers, we had to stop because we got ticks (9 or 10)

Pheonix: My best friend at the time asked me what I would do if my future boyfriend gives me a knuckle sandwaich and I replied that I would eat it. I still would (my now boyfriend would never raise a hand against me) (i was 5)

Jett: A boy was showing off how fast he could run, so i tripped him (i was 8)

Raze: I spraypainted the sidewalk beside my house because i wanted to make art (I wanted to use the spray cans) then i got scolded. (I was 7)

Breech: I am autistic and someone said oh she cant shes autistic, so I bit them i dont know how old i was nor do i remember what they said.

Reyna: I would play the wack a mole game at the arcade so I could use the hammer to hit my best friend, she did the same to me (8?)

KillJoy: When i played Valorant for the first time my online friend made me play KJ because i was german (17)

Skye: While i was going my usual tree climbing, i saw a spider. I decided to fall to the ground, I got up just fine, then climbed a diffrent tree where i found a bee hive. (idk 11? maybe) Yoru: When I fIrst got glasses and I could actually see, I looked at my nana and asked her what happened to her face, then I threw up (I was 4)

Astra: I love the stars so much, I used to think we all became stars when we died because the movie princess and the frog, and I cried when the cathloic church said we didnt (I was 6)

KAY/O: In MMA class we had to do an excersize where the others would have to stop us from making it to the other side. Most of the kids dog piled on me, a 150 pound boy got on my back, yet I still made it across the room (idk I was 11 and weak, but for a treat after, I was strong) Chamber: My friend taught us pole dancing at recess and for some reason the teachers never stopped us. (we were in 5th grade about 10?)

Neon: I watched my younger brother slide into the Oven door. My parents for some reason put it in the living room. I tried to help him by saying it was the dog. However Our dog was living with my grandparents. (7?)

Fade: Spent a whole hour meowning at a random cat in France (I was 12, and where were my parents?) Harbor: I am a huge history nerd, I did three book reports on the titanic, Then when we had to be characters for a fake museum where we would have to preform for epople I decided to be the drunk man that survived (I was 10, why didnt a teacher tell me no?)

Gekko: I had one of the electronic Furbies, i still have that yellow shit. Me and my brother were playing with him and he turned evil and we got so scared. For a month we made our mom put him under a flowerpot with 2 bibles on top of it. (I actually dont know how old I was)

Deadlock: My grandma gave me a sewing kit for one of my birthdays so I just threw it at people (6)

Iso: Collected little rocks at recess then put them in the shoes of kids I didnt like (6)

Clove: Jumped off the top of the playground because I wanted to impress my crush, then I hit my head on the slide pole. Surprisingly I ended up being just fine.

Vyse: ummm I had a Wiggle (if anyone remembers those) and I would constantly bully it. I actualy dont know how old I was but I was a kid

Honorable mention: I farted in church when i was 4 and blamed it on Jesus and apparently you’re not supposed to do that. Also this is a rough memory and stir from the top of my head, I have childhood trauma

Anyways i finally got therapy. Byeeee working on a request rn

[incorrectmhatweets]

Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead HCs of mine:

- Aizawa hated Pro heroes since he was a child, stemming from his mother’s unhealthy obsession with heroes.

- Aizawa’s mother was, what many people referred to as a cape bunny/chaser. She had a quirk that, upon looking into someone’s eyes, could make them lose their inhibitions for a brief period of time. This helped her with her goals as she was a professional villain victim. She knew who to contact when a villain needed a victim for their big debut with a hero for the public. That, and she purposefully would walk through dangerous alleys and knew the best places for patrols and crime to get the chance to win the heart of some unsuspecting Hero, afterwards, she would show him her gratitude.

- her intimate goal was to win over a hero and have him marry her. Unfortunately, she enjoyed the high of being rescued and being in dangerous situations so much that she was rarely able to stay faithful. She was engaged a total of 9 times, mostly to low ranking heroes. She only successfully married 3 times, and only once did it last over a year because she couldn’t stop trying for bigger and better heroes. Despite being payed generously to keep quiet for the heroes public image, and in child support, she often blew it all perusing her dreams

-Aizawa has a total of 14 siblings of various ages, genders, and quirks, all of them half siblings. Some of them he never even met because they ended up taken from his mother at an early age due to child endangerment and neglect and only in two instances did the father actually choose to take full custody of their child.

- Growing up, Aizawa always hoped and prayed that the heroes who ‘rescued’ his mom, and him on a few memorable occasions where his mother used him to gain a heroes attention, would rescue him as well. After a time, he stopped caring. He didn’t understand why his mom thought a second of their attention was so much more important than him. He didn’t know why he was never enough for her.

- he frequented an old pre quirk style dance studio to avoid going home after school. He used to loiter on the roof and watch the people inside from the window. His life changed when he was invited inside and essentially adopted by the owner.

- over the years (he would have been bullied even harsher if the kids at school learned about it, who bullied him because of his quirk and because everyone knew about his mother) he learned many different styles of dance. His favorite when he was younger started with ribbon dancing, and eventually evolved into scarf dancing and eventually pole dancing, though if he had a partner he loved ballroom, ballet, and tango. Something about the push and pull of two bodies in motion and watching his partner’s move while predicting the next to move with them. This eventually translated into his fighting style.

- the owner of the studio would never admit it, but she thought Aizawa was a little homeless girl when she first spotted him, with his small, lithe prepubescently androgynous body and long tangled hair with dark lashes. Traits that he unfortunately shared with his mother, which is why he hated to take care of his looks, and would often avoid shaving cleanly as an adult. His teacher was where he learned to wear his hair in a messy bun.

- he grew up in a dangerous neighborhood and narrowly avoided scrapes. Also, he oftentimes didn’t get along with his mother’s boyfriends, who were either low ranking villains she often used to gain the attention of heroes, or (as she got older and began loosing her beauty and her name became more well known by heroes and first responders that often took her calls) lower and lower ranked heroes that were often willing to take bribes and look the other way on things.

- He also didn’t get along with the few siblings he had. When he got older and decided to look into it, several of them went into the system and he was never able to fully figure out where they went, several more became criminals, a few of those criminals also became villains, and a few of them had died. He is the only one who became a hero, and that was only because of Nedzu’s intervention.

-His mom was the one who forced him to apply to Hero school, hopeful of parent teacher conferences with the all hero staff and hopeful of gaining the attentions of older students. She was very upset with him for not even trying during the practical exam. Which he purposely sat to the side for. He did not want to be a hero. But, his mom pushed for him to get into the general education course. Somehow (where there is a will there is a way) she scrounged up enough money to send him through.

- wearing his UA uniform on his way home from school resulted in him being chased down and mugged a few times, resulting in his mother thanking a few heroes who helped him. While he never confirmed it, he was pretty sure at least some of the later attacks were plotted by his mother to some degree.

- the day of the sports festival he had been through a lot. The dance studio that was his safe place for the longest time had closed. His mom’s now ex hero boyfriend had smacked him around a bit because of his freakish quirk and mother. He hadn’t slept in some time because of the anxiety of everything boiling over. His own classmates had started to learn about him and his quirk and his poor family and mom and started to shun him. And here he was. In a sports festival meant to glorify the hero course while they beat all of the other students in the school like they existed to be nothing but props, stepping stones for a hero’s future. Victims. Villains. Poor, helpless civilians. He couldn’t take it anymore.

- Aizawa snapped. He went into survival mode. Fight or flight, and he had been running all his life. In the arena there was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to escape. Maybe escaping was always an illusion. Because it would always come down to this. Heroes hurting him. And nobody ever cared except himself. It only took 13 years for Aizawa to finally snap. He didn’t want to hurt anymore. Definitely not for someone else’s entertainment. Leading up to that point in his life he had always avoided using his quirk.

- Truthfully, Aizawa didn’t remember much of his first sport’s festival. Looking back at the videos he would be shown, he fought like a man possessed. It was… unsettling, that he, a no name general education student, was capable of taking down the top hero students. The crowd was silent when he accepted his gold medal on the podium. The only fortunate circumstance out of all of it was that the first years weren’t televised. People only tended to tune in for second, and mostly third year sports festivals. Still, enough people were in the audience that it was bound to make the news. Only a villain would beat an aspiring hero so soundly, much less several of them. That, or maybe UA’s hero course teachings weren’t all that great if some nobody could kick their butts so soundly?

- To save face, Nedzu stepped in, transferring Aizawa into the hero course. Aizawa couldn’t decline, because if he did he would more than likely be pictured as the villain everyone thought him to be and would be targeted by society and the media. Nedzu blamed the entrance exam on Aizawa’s failure to make it in, and claimed to media outlets that the young winner of the first year sports festival clearly wanted to prove himself capable of being a hero despite the entrance exam only catering to hard hitting quirks. And, that is when Aizawa became Nedzu’s pet project and his mole for the hero course and hero teacher’s for favoritism and quirk biased behavior.

- Aizawa hated being in the hero course. Hated how much his mother loved him for it. Hated that the entire hero class also hated him, because the lowest ranking student of the class had been kicked out to make room for him, and apparently a lot of people had liked him. The only thing he liked was the fighting.

- When Hizashi suggested his hero name, he thought the guy was bullying him. Sure, he had to graduate from hero school, but he never planned on actually becoming a hero, so it didn’t matter what his name was. He never had control over his life, so why would he have control over his hero name.

- He played along with Hizashi and Oboro and any other hero student that befriended him. Waiting for them to announce it as a prank. Waiting for them to do something cruel. He had lost his faith in heroes a long time ago.

- His hero outfit was a simple black jumpsuit and a belt because it was cheep, and if he had to wear something it was going to be comfortable and practical and easy to replace if he got the tar beaten out of him.

- I have more thoughts on Hizashi and Oboro, but this post has gone on long enough.

- have a cookie if you made it this far. 🍪

[yetiwang2000]

Vrelnir's QA about Eden & Bailey ——Vrelnir 的问答 伊甸和贝利专题

2024.1.22

1.Sorry to interrupt! You mentioned that Eden and Bailey had a popular mutual friend at school. What else characteristics does he/she have?

抱歉打扰了!我记得你提到过贝利和伊甸学生时代有一个很受欢迎的共同朋友，他们还有什么样的性格特点呢？

They were very gentle, even when very stressed.

他们非常温柔，即使在面临很大压力的情况下。  

2.Has Bailey and Eden’s mysterious friend from school appear in game so far? (2023.1.18) if he/shedon’t make an appearance now, will they make an appearance later?

贝利和伊甸学生时代的神秘共同朋友截止目前已经作为命名 NPC 登场了吗？（2023.1.18）如果目前他们没有登场，那以后会登场吗？  

Nope. They might make an appearance later however.

目前没有。不过，他们可能会接下来有可能出现。

3.How would Bailey(as a student) describe his/her relationship with Eden?

学生时代的贝利会怎样形容自己和伊甸的关系？

Bailey considered Eden one of their best friends.

贝利认为伊甸是他们最好的朋友之一。

4.How would adult Bailey describe his/her relationship with Eden?

成年贝利会如何形容自己目前和伊甸的关系？

They’d consider Eden the closest thing they have to a friend.

他们会认为伊甸是他们拥有的最接近朋友的事��。

5.Eden had very few relationships.  You said Bailey saw Eden regularly, up until now Eden and Bailey still gave Christmas presents to each other.  Do you tend to think they cherish each other?

伊甸几乎没有人际关系，您说过贝利会定期与伊甸见面，直到现在伊甸和贝利还会互相赠送圣诞礼物，你倾向于认为他们珍惜彼此吗？

Perhaps, but they wouldn’t admit it.

或许吧，但是他们并不会承认的。

6.贝利对伊甸���比友谊更多的感情吗？

Does Bailey have more feelings for Eden than friendship?

Nope.

没有。

7.Is Bailey’s crush a named npc now（2024.1.18)?

贝利的暗恋对象是目前存在的命名NPC 吗？（2024.1.18）？

Nope.

不是。

8.Will Bailey find it difficult to show his feelings to his crush?

贝利会发觉表达自己对暗恋对象的感情很困难吗？

Aye, but at the same time they might not be able to stop themselves.

是的，但是与此同时，他们可能情难自禁。

9. Is Bailey’s crush still alive?

贝利的暗恋对象目前还活着吗？  

I shan’t say.

我不能说。

10.贝利现在还有机会见到自己的暗恋对象吗？

Is Bailey still seeing his/her crush?

I shan’t say!

我不能说！

2024.1.27

1.Will Bailey take care of female Eden when she’s having period pain? If so, what will they do for her?

贝利会在女性伊甸经痛的时候照顾她吗？如果会，他们会为伊甸做些什么？

Bailey would not take care of Eden while Eden was experiencing period pain, unless Eden asked, which they won‘t.

贝利不会在伊甸经痛的时候照顾她，除非伊甸这样要求，但伊甸不会。

2.If Eden is in a life-threatening situation and needs artificial respiration, with only Bailey around, would Bailey do it for Eden?

如果伊甸在有生命危险的情况下需要人工呼吸，周围只有贝利一个人，贝利会为伊甸人工呼吸吗？

Aye.

会的。

3.If PC runs naked past Eden and Bailey, too fast to catch, will they sit and curse together? And get drinks, like the old days?

如果 PC 在裸奔正好经过伊甸和贝利，跑得特别快根本抓不住，他们会坐在地上一起骂人吗？然后像过去一样，一起喝点东西？

They might laugh together for the first time in years.

他们可能会一同欢笑，这是多年以来的第一次。

4.Did Bailey's crush ever fall in love with someone?

贝利的暗恋对象有爱上过某人吗？

Perhaps.

或许。

5.In all years Bailey and Eden known each other, who had more control over the relationship?

在贝利和伊甸认识的这些年头里，谁是对这段关系更有掌控感的那个人？

Bailey.

贝利。

6.If PC give Bailey enough money and ask them to pole dance, will they agree?

如果 PC 给贝利足够多的钱，然后要求贝利跳钢管舞，贝利会同意吗？

Aye.

会。

7.If PC give Bailey million pounds and asked them to offer sexual services, will they agree?

如果 PC 给贝利几千万英镑，然后要求贝利性服务，贝利会同意吗？

Probably, but they’d hold out if they thought they could squeeze more from the PC.

有可能，但如果他们认为可以从PC身上榨取更多，他们会坚持不让步。

8.Would Bailey Kiss or hug Eden under any situation? Like cheeks and hands? In the past, present, or future, have they ever had or will they have physical contact?

贝利会在某种情况下亲吻或者拥抱伊甸吗？比如脸颊和手？在过去，现在，或者未来，他们曾经有过或者将会有肢体接触吗？

They’ve had physical contact in the past, but displays of physical affection between them are unlikely in the future.

他们过去有过肢体接触，但是在未来他们之间不大可能展示出肢体亲密。

10.What if there’s one parallel universe out there somewhere (I mean if there were one, not canon just fantasy...)Bailey and Eden had sex, who’d love to be the top?

假如有一个平行宇宙（我是说假如有一个，不是原作，只是幻想）贝利和伊甸和彼此做爱，谁会做攻？

They‘d wrestle for who gets to be top, and Eden would win.

他们会摔跤决定谁做攻，然后伊甸会赢。

2024.2.17

1.If Bailey sees a stack of hentai doujinshis about themselves on PC’s table, how would they react?

如果贝利看到 PC 桌子上摞着许多关于贝利们的十八禁同人志，他们会有什么反应？­

They’d ignore them.

他们会无视。

2.  If Bailey finds orphan reading NSFW fan fiction about themselves, what would they do?

如果贝利发现孤儿在传阅关于贝利的色情同人小说，贝利会怎么做？

They wouldn’t read the fan fiction enough to find out, but if they somehow did, they’d be irritated. They might not want to draw attention to it though.

他们可能不会阅读同人小说足够仔细直到发现那些内容，不过假如他们以某种方式发现了，他们会被激怒。他们可能不愿意对这些小说投入注意力。

3.If PC sets up a booth selling NSFW doujinshis about Bailey outside the orphanage, how would Bailey react?(There will be manga, animations, music, and cosplay! All about Bailey getting fucked or fucking others)

如果 PC 在孤儿院门口摆了一个摊位售卖贝利的色情同人志，贝利会有什么反应？(会有漫画，动画，音乐和cosplay！全部是关于贝利被操或者操别人)

Bailey would put a stop to it.

贝利会制止PC。

4. If PC, covered in mud from sewer, broke into Bailey’s house, started bathing in their bathtub, but as PC was about to enter the tub, Bailey returned home. PC looked at them with innocent eyes, looking straight into their eyes, how would Bailey react?

如果浑身是下水道泥巴的 PC 闯进贝利的家中，在他们的浴缸里泡澡，而正当PC准备进入水中的时候，贝利回家了。PC用无辜的眼睛看着他们，直直地看着他们的双眼，他们会有什么反应？

Bailey would throw them out naked.

贝利会把PC全裸着丢出去。

5.If PC breaks into Bailey’s house while he’s/she’s away, steals their underwear, and hangs it on orphanage’s notice board, how would Bailey react?

如果 PC 趁贝利不在家的时候撬开门锁，把他们的内衣偷出来，挂在孤儿院的告示板上，贝利会有什么反应？

Bailey would hang the PC on the town’s notice board.

贝利会把PC悬挂在小镇的告示板上。

6.If Bailey and PC became friends when they were kids, what would they play together?

假如小时候的贝利和 PC 成为朋友，他们会一起玩什么？

That depends on the PC!

那取决于PC！！

7.Is Bailey’s crush more sexually attractive to Bailey or more romantically attractive?

贝利的暗恋对象对他们是性吸引力更多，还是浪漫吸引力更多？

More romantically attractive.

浪漫吸引力更多。

8.Has Bailey ever experienced any form of abuse in the past? (Including emotional and physical abuse)

贝利过去曾经遭受过某种程度的虐待吗？（包括情感上的，包括肢体上的）

Bailey has experienced abuse.

贝利曾经经历过虐待。

9. Bailey still has anal virginity. Considering their active sex life, why haven‘t they ever tried anal intercourse?

贝利的菊穴贞操还在，我们知道他们的性生活很积极，为什么从没有尝试过肛交呢？

It doesn‘t interest them.

贝利对肛交不感兴趣。

10.We know that Bailey hasn’t seemed to express their feelings to their crush. If there’s a chance for Bailey to see their crush again, would they share this special feelings?

我们知道贝利没有将自己的心意说出口。假如有一个机会贝利能够再次见到自己的暗恋对象，他们会分享自己那份特殊的心意吗？

They would want to.

他们会愿意分享的。

[ms-liz-steele]

No Love

Pole Dancer!Lisa x Bartender!Male OC | smut, drama, romance, slow burn

-> Synopsis: Ollie has one rule he lives by: never mix work with his personal life.

But what happens when he sets his eyes on a dancer one night at a club during his shift.

New Chapters Every Monday

chapters index | ongoing

Rosé

☾︎✯☽︎

The club was already packed by the time my shift started. I could feel the presence of the loud music and bass pass through me like a ghost taking possession of its host. The neon lights were moving, flashing and zipping around and across the place in a frenzy. People were dancing, grinding against each other and making out while others already crowded the bar waiting for their drinks and to be attended to.

Show time.

"Hi, welcome to The Coup d'Etat. What can I do for you?" I smiled at the group of ladies waiting at the bar.

"Hi, can you open up a bar tab for us?" one of them, a brunette, asked, nodding towards her friends, who were drooling at the sight of me - nothing new.

"Sure. Will you be paying in cash or card?"

"Cash, we're splitting the bill."

"Okay, what would like for your tab?"

"Soju will be fine. Thanks." 

I took out a tray and some glasses before striding over to the fridge to collect the soju. After filling the bucket with ice, and placing the bottles of soju inside, I placed the bucket into the tray and pushed it toward the customers. "Here you go. Let me know when you want to close your tab."

"Sure thing."

They left for their booth, but not before one of them winked at me.

As I was about to move on to the next batch of customers, I bumped into a blonde woman who from the looks of it was in a rush to get to wherever she wanted to go.

"I'm so sorry." She apologized with a bow until she had a good look at me. "Hey, you must be the new guy GD told me about. The guy I'm supposed to monitor during my shift."

I quirked an eyebrow, "Sounds like your boss doesn't trust me."

She waved her hand, "He does that to every new employee. Heck! He did that to me when I first started working here. I'm Chaeyoung by the way." She stuck out her hand towards me.

I shook her hand. "Ollie."

"Well, Ollie. Normally, I would train you on what to do and how to handle the POS system, but it seems like you know your way around it. So, I'll serve the tables while you handle things here at the bar. Sound good?"

"Sure thing."

The rest of the evening was pretty much uneventful aside from tending to the customers. Chaeyoung was anywhere and everywhere taking orders, clearing the tables and checking on the customers while also helping me at the bar when need be. I was pretty much accustomed to the nightlife in the club; watching people dance and have the time of their life, the music, the lights (and thank God the ventilation in the club was good).

"You okay there?" I asked the blonde who was leaning against the bar and groaned.

"I'm just glad that I can rest for a bit." She said. "Why do the weekends always be so damn busy?"

"Well, a lot of people like to spend their weekends going to clubs and bars, especially college and university kids," I said. "Besides, more people. More tips."

She groaned again. "And the fact that I'm a broke uni kid is not doing me any favours."

"Well, I wouldn't know since I'm not a uni kid."

She looked at me confused. "Did you drop out?"

"Nope. I never went to college or university after I graduated high school. Went straight to the military and left two years later."

"How old are you?"

"Thirty."

"Holy shit!" her eyebrows flew up. "You're old."

"Hey, I'm not that old." I frowned. "Gosh. What is up with you kids and thinking thirty is old."

"That's literally the age to already be married and have kids."

"Yet your generation is already getting married and having kids at eighteen."

She opened her mouth to retort but no sound or syllable left her mouth. I chuckled at her reaction knowing that she knew I was right.

"Anyway!" she changed the subject. "Where are you from? You don't sound like you're here. Not to forget you look way too exotic to be Korean."

"I'm Chinese, but I grew up in Australia."

"Oh, my God! You're an Aussie!" she squealed switching to English with a strong Aussie accent.

I chuckled. "Yes, I'm an Aussie."

"Chris and Felix are going to be so hyped when I tell him we have another Aussie on the team."

"How many are there."

"It's just the three of us. Other foreigners work here, but either way, it's good to meet another foreigner. Us foreigner folks gotta stick together, am I right?"

I hummed, conceding with her statement.

Suddenly the music stopped, and the lights turned. My eyes found the stage where the DJ booth was. I saw smoke lurking around the stage and blending with the deep blue neon lights until a song with a fusion of moombahton and Latin trap music started playing. Eight feminine figures emerged and walked up to the stage and stood in line, four standing across from each other as though they made a path for someone.

The spotlight shined on the ninth dancer, a dark-haired woman whose hair was just above her shoulders and her bangs covering her forehead. She wore a white crop top with crystal tinsels along with a pair of denim shorts with a glitter belt around her waist and a pair of white glitter knee-high combat boots.

My eyes were focused on her as she walked up to the centre of the stage and her dancers broke their formation. The way her body movement was in synch with the rhythm of the song. The expressions she made while she danced. Everyone's attention was on her and her alone.

"That's Lisa." Chaeyoung's voice broke me out of whatever spelt that woman had put me under.

I looked at her.

"The girl you're staring at." She clarified. "Her name is Lisa. She's one of the dancers here and people pay a lot of money to see her perform let alone give them a private performance in one of our VIP lounges. She's pretty good, ain't she?"

I turned my gaze back to the dancer. "I'm no dance guru since I can't dance to save my life, but she's pretty good I guess."

"Oof! Don't say that in her presence though. She will make sure you'll change that statement from pretty good to pretty amazing." She playfully bumped her shoulder against mine. "But she's pretty chill when she's off stage. A little mischievous but pretty chill."

I hummed, making no comment. Not that I needed to anyway. I did consider Chaeyoung's comment about this girl, but I decided to push it aside and not dwell much on it. It wasn't like I was going to see her outside of work let alone talk to her. It was probably better that way.

"Well, break time is over." Chaeyoung stretched. "Those tables aren't going to serve themselves."

"Good luck," I said as she left the bar.

[sherlockfanthings]

"The Floor Is Lava and My Dad’s a Pancake”

Summary: It was supposed to be a normal visit—until House accidentally gives Emma Wilson one of his strongest experimental drugs. What follows is pure chaos, wild hallucinations, and two grown men trying (and mostly failing) to keep up with one drugged, hyper-imaginative teenager.

Characters: Emma Wilson, James Wilson, Gregory House

Genre: Humor, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Chaos, Accidental Drugging, Father-Daughter Bond

Emma was sixteen. Bright, confident, just a little rebellious—and completely unprepared for the kind of unintentional chaos that only House could cause.

It began with a routine after-school visit. Emma had come to the hospital to meet her dad, wearing jeans, sneakers, and her favorite oversized sweatshirt. Wilson had left her briefly in the diagnostics lounge to finish up paperwork, handing her his water bottle with a smile and a warning not to touch any of House’s food or mystery drinks.

One critical detail: House had prepared two glasses earlier. One of them was his latest "harmless" concoction—a powerful dissociative sedative meant to observe behavior under mental disinhibition. Nothing dangerous, he swore. Just a little confusion, some giggling, weird metaphors.

He had intended for Wilson to drink it.

Instead, Emma—thirsty, unsuspecting, and blissfully unaware—had taken a generous sip.

Wilson first noticed something was off when he heard distant singing coming from down the hallway. The tune was hard to place, mostly because it kept switching from Disney to vaguely operatic notes. He set his pen down and stood up, brows furrowed.

Seconds later, Emma burst into the room, arms stretched out, spinning dramatically.

“DADDYYYYY,” she sang, stumbling into the doorframe with a giggle. “I HAVE FOUND... THE SECRET TO THE UNIVERSE. IT'S... PENCILS.”

Wilson blinked. “Emma?”

“I NAMED THEM,” she declared, holding out two pens. “This one’s Penjamin. The other one is also Penjamin.”

She fell into the chair across from him, her limbs flopping like she had no bones.

His stomach sank. Her pupils were huge.

“Oh no,” he breathed. “Emma, what did you drink?”

“I drank your juice!” she beamed. “It tasted like purple and rebellion.”

“...my what.”

That’s when House appeared, poking his head into the room.

“Oh,” he said, freezing mid-step.

Wilson turned slowly. “Please. Tell me. You didn’t drug my daughter.”

House winced. “I didn’t drug your daughter. I drugged you. It’s called ‘target misidentification.’ It happens.”

“She is sixteen, House!”

“Then why is she drinking out of strange glasses like a twenty-year-old at a frat party?”

Before Wilson could launch into a full tirade, a loud crash made both men spin around. Emma had knocked over a chair and was now attempting to crawl across the floor, narrating her own spy mission.

"Agent Penjamin is DOWN, I repeat, he's down! I’m going in—cover me!"

She rolled under the table.

House choked.

Wilson pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to kill you.”

“Not before she takes out the imaginary enemy battalion. Give her a minute.”

•••

The next hour became a full-body workout neither man anticipated.

Emma was small, but fast, and eerily agile. She darted from one end of the diagnostics floor to the other, talking to paintings, attempting to high-five defibrillators, and once attempting to teach a nurse the secret language of light switches.

At one point she stood in the middle of the nurses’ station and yelled, “I HAVE DECLARED THE FLOOR A SAFE ZONE. NO SHOES. ONLY DANCE.” Then proceeded to hop barefoot down the corridor.

Wilson and House chased after her.

“Emma!” Wilson shouted, dodging an IV pole.

“NO DAD I’M IN CHARACTER!” she wailed, collapsing onto the floor dramatically. “The lava’s too hot.”

Wilson sighed. “Help me,” he grunted as he leaned down.

House, watching her flail and sing nonsense, laughed under his breath. “I mean, technically this is your fault. You raised a curious child.”

“You drugged her with a hallucinogen!”

“Barely!”

“She thinks I’m a moose named Larry.”

“I’d say that’s fairly accurate."

•••

They finally cornered her in the supply closet.

Emma, halfway into a lab coat, declared she was now “Doctor McScience,” and held up a stapler like a badge. “This is my bear. He sees your soul.”

Wilson scooped her up—thank God she was still light enough—and carried her back to his office as she ranted about the time-space continuum and the existential dread of mismatched socks.

They bundled her in a blanket and gently got her to sit on the couch. She swayed in place, then suddenly grabbed House’s tie.

“YOU,” she said, squinting at him. “You are the wizard of... socks.”

House smirked. “Did she just promote me?”

Wilson shot him a glare. “Do not encourage her.”

But even he was struggling not to laugh as Emma grabbed a clipboard and started conducting an imaginary orchestra.

Eventually, the drug wore off. Slowly, her speech slurred into sleepy mumbles. Her limbs became heavy, her head lolled to one side. Wilson knelt beside her, brushing the hair from her face.

She blinked up at him. “I... I did a revolution,” she mumbled.

“I know,” he whispered. “You were very brave.”

She sighed and dropped into sleep.

House collapsed into Wilson’s visitor chair, exhaling like he’d just run a marathon.

Wilson rubbed his face. “You’re never allowed near beverages again.”

House groaned. “That kid could lead a coup. I mean it.”

Wilson looked at Emma, now curled in peaceful, exhausted sleep, and let out a breath.

“Remind me why I let you into my life again.”

“I make things interesting.”

“You make things impossible.”

House shrugged. “Same thing.”

Wilson smirked tiredly. “We’re getting old.”

“We just got outsmarted by a sixteen-year-old on drugs. I’d say we’ve arrived.”

They sat in silence for a long while.

Wilson finally leaned back and whispered, “I’m not telling her about any of this.”

“Too late. I filmed the lava dance.”

“House—”

“Kidding. Maybe.”

They both groaned.

And somewhere in the quiet, Emma snored softly.