#old British police

[sarkysphotoblog]

[koszmarnybudyn]

Daisy's been on my brain recently.

[diantheia]

Because I might be the only British person here, I need to bring back this classic in light of recent conversation:

[lestantique]

they need to bring back club penguin rewritten

[destielmemenews]

"Former One Direction singer Liam Payne died outside a hotel in the Argentine capital Buenos Aires, local media reported on Wednesday, saying the 31-year-old British musician was found dead after falling from the hotel's third floor.

Citing officials, leading local newspapers La Nacion and Clarin reported that police were called to the hotel in the capital's leafy Palermo neighborhood responding to an emergency call that cited "an aggressive man who could be under the effects of drugs and alcohol.""

source 1

source 2

source 3

[ivygorgon]

Hang on I gotta look something up.

Yeah, that's funny.

The gun is cocked. I'm sobbing and shaking.

"Say it."

"I can't!"

They push the gun into my temple. "Say it now."

"ACAB includes Sam Vimes, OK, are you happy now?"

[ph-cutie]

disco elysium first few hours is really an experience like no other. dont remember anything my face is weird hot troubled bisexual girl walks away from a conversation with me millenial british chap with lightless eyes says i owe him 130 bucks anglodutch youth calling me his loser bitch pig finnish youth calling me a fat fucking faggot my new police partner telling me i need to conduct myself in a more professional manner my old police partner telling me im a waste of air the bloated rotting corpse bloating and rotting (i frew up) and then harassing me inside my brain. At the top of my game like noone else

[laurashapiro-noreally]

So on my last rewatch I noticed how Aziraphale is gently amused (though never condescending) to Muriel and their "I'm a human police officer" routine.

But then, in the very same episode, without a trace of irony or self-awareness, our sweet angel dons his very best 1949 journalist cosplay and announces "I'm what's known as a newspaper man!"

He is just as excited, and almost as naive, as Muriel here -- down to not reading the big THE RESURRECTIONIST sign on the wall of the pub. "Gimme the facts!" He quips giddily. Might as well be saying "Wot's all this then?"

He's been here six thousand years but he is still an Eldritch being in a human suit and a giant goofball with no interest in keeping up with the times and it is fascinating and lovable that he can recognize Muriel's ridiculousness and not see his own.

How very like all of us.

[ Image Description: Two GIFs, the first of Muriel in a solid white old-fashioned British police officer uniform gleefully saying, "'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. What's all this then?" at Aziraphale's door. The other of Aziraphale dressed as a stereotypical old-fashioned journalist excitedly asking, "Is this the Resurrectionist public house?" End ID. ]

(update to add image captions)

[obaewankenope]

American to English translation for fic

So I read and write fanfic, as do lots of others, and I've noticed that when it comes to British shows or movies, Americanisms or American terms crop up often. It's mostly because most don't know we have specific terms for things in the UK, and I've seen references here and there before, but I've decided to write one of my own. Feel free to add to it tho! I'm gonna put it up on Ao3 too and any additions, I'll reference the tumblr and link them on Ao3 too.

AO3 link is here!!

Anyway, here we go I guess.

Some Americanisms to English-isms

Gas = fuel/petrol/diesel (we tend to specify the type of fuel the vehicle uses, diesel vehicle or petrol vehicle for example)

Gas station = petrol/fuel station

Gas court = petrol/fuel court, or sometimes forecourt (not often with this one tho)

License plate = registration plate/reg

Diner = cafe

Fast-food = takeaway (this is sort of interchangeable. McDonald's is called fast food, a meal from a pizza place that delivers is takeaway)

Motel = hotel

Side-note: We tend to use specific named hotel chains like Premier Inn (or Prem-Inn for short) or Holiday Inn or Travelodge. We also have Britannia Hotels and several others. If the fic is based in a specific place, local hotels or famous ones may be better options. For example, in Liverpool, we have The Shankly or Adelphi.

Cab = taxi or black hac for a specific type of taxi.

Side-note: These are what you see in BBC Sherlock, for example, and are a UK staple. They're less popular or common-place nowadays but there are dedicated taxi companies that use them. There's on in my town that operates until 4pm each day. They are also usually more expensive than a car taxi but they have oodles of space and you can have a pram/buggy kept upright rather than folded-down in them which is brilliant.

Cop = police officer

Side note: more informal, colloquial terms include "copper", "the fuzz", "tit-head" (because of the nipple hat okay, just look up the hat, it's hilarious), "bobby", "rozzer" (pronounced r-o-z-er not Row-zer), and "the bill" (there's an actual show called this btw. It can be a good reference for anyone writing crime fic in UK). There's more but those are the most common. Older terms do include "peelers" and "old bill".

Second side-note: the police have a whole host of terms, colloquial and slang that can be a great thing to include in fic, which I'll link a glossary of here. It's not all UK centric but cross-country policing is a thing so that may just be a boon imho. Also the short-hand acroynmns used are useful so here's a link to the Metropolitan Police glossary of those too!

Patrolman = constable or police constable

Antenna = aerial or TV aerial

Fall (season) = autumn

Bill = banknote or specifically "tenner", "fiver", "twenny" (not "twenty"). We don't have single banknotes like a dollar bill. We have pound coins

Dimes, nickels, etc = pound coin, two-pound coin, fifty-pence, penny, two-pence, five-pence, ten-pence, twenty-pence (link here about the coin currency)

Drug store = chemist or pharmacy

Optometrist = optician

Primary care physician = GP (general practitioner) here's a link about UK medical terms for doctors etc

Side-note: here's a link about medical terminologies etc between American and UK

Social security number = national insurance number

Liquor store = off-license or, specifically, Bargain Booze™

Liquor = spirits (usually)

Store = shop

Target, Walmart, etc = honestly, it's probably gonna be Tesco, ASDA, Morrisons, ALDI or Lidl

Superstore = supermarket

Shopping cart = shopping trolley or just "trolley"

Yard-sale = car-boot/car-bootie/car-boot sale

Attorney = barrister or solicitor (solicitors you go to for legal help, barristers tend to be involved in actual court matters, like a the Crown Prosecution Service), here's a link that explains it better

Janitor = caretaker

French-fries = chips (although McDonald's French-fries are just that, French-fries)

Intersection = crossroad

Highway/freeway = motorway

Interstate = usually an A-road or a motorway, we don't really have interstates here)

Overpass = flyover

Turnpike = toll motorway

Windshield = windscreen

Trunk of a car = boot or car boot

Hood of a car = bonnet or car bonnet

Truck = lorry

Sedan = saloon car

Blowout = puncture or flat tyre

Pavement = road

Sidewalk = path

Subway = underground (like the London Underground)

Drapes = curtains (though we do use "drapes" we tend to say "curtains" more)

Pacifier = dummy or "dodo" or "dodi"

Diaper = nappie or a pull-up (if its like underwear for toddlers)

Baby crib = baby cot (though we do use "crib", we tend to say "cot" more)

Baby carriage/pushchair/stroller = pram or buggy (more specific type tho, here's a link about the differences)

Trash/garbage can = bin, dustbin, rubbish bin

Garbage/trash collector = binman/binmen

Mail = post

Mailman = postman

Mailbox = postbox

The movies = cinema or pictures

Movie = film (less common nowadays with influence of Americanisms but I still use "film" and a lot of people my age and older do too (25+)

First floor = ground floor okay, it's the ground floor because it's on ground level

Sneakers = unless they're Converse, it's probably just "trainers"

Baggage = luggage

Purse (as in the bag) = handbag, or "purse" but that tends to be the thing you put your money and cards in then put in your handbag

Vacuum cleaner = hoover or a specific brand like Henry Hoover™, which you'll find we tend to just call Henry (though I have a John Lewis hoover I got from George, ASDA that I've named 'George' and yes, I do say "I need to use George in a bit to hoover" regularly)

Sweater = jumper or, if it buttons up it's a cardigan or cardi

Closet = wardrobe

Elevator = lift

Call collect = reverse charges

Schools = we have primary/infants (11yrs)and secondary/high school (11-16yo) with some high schools have sixth-form college (16-18yo) or actual independent colleges for the same ages

College = university

Semester = term

Vacation = holiday

Kindergarten = nursey/reception

Flashlight = torch

Wrench = spanner

Backyard = garden

Cookie = biscuits

Chips = crisps (like Walkers™ or Lays™ in the States)

Pants = trousers

Cottoncandy = candyfloss

Dude = bloke/fella/mate

John Doe = John Smith

Exhausted (tired) = knackered

Cell phone = mobile

Cell data = mobile data/4G/5G

Bathroom/restroom = loo/toilet (informal term "bog")

Thanks = cheers

Soccer = football

Y'all = "you lot"

Fuck off/hit the road/go away = bugger off

Some slang phrases too

Bits and bobs = stuff, usually random

Take the mick/mickey = making fun of someone or over-exaggerating

Bob's your uncle = there you go, basically

Bog standard = typical, run of the mill kind of deal

Gutted = feel upset, disappointed

Dull as dishwater = basically really, really fuckin boring

Chinwag = basically "shooting the breeze" or just having a talk/chat

.

If you have any others that you think of or want added, reblog and add em! Tags too if you'd prefer but reblogs would be easier ☺️

[artistmarchalius]

Cockney Rhyming Slang Phrases Part 2

In a previous post I went into Cockney rhyming slang history and gave some tips on how to use it.

This is the second post in a series where I’ll give you some commonly used Cockney rhyming slang phrases, phrases that I find funny, as well as some phrases that I think would be useful for Spider-Verse fic writers specifically. Part 1 of this series can be found here.

So let’s get started on Part 2!

C-D

China Plate - Mate

E.g. “How are you, me old China?” Or “I’m meeting me old China at the pub later.”

Cobblers Awls - Balls

E.g. “Ooh! Got him right in the cobblers!”

It can also be used to mean “Nonsense”. E.g. “What a load of cobblers!” is another way of saying “What a load of nonsense!”

Cream Crackered - Knackered

E.g. “Sorry mate, I’m creamed!” Or “I’m cream crackered!”

Custard and Jelly - Telly (Television)

E.g. “Shh! I’m watching the custard.”

Daisy Roots - Boots

E.g. “Hang on, I need to put my daisies on!”

Dicky Bird - Word

E.g. “Not a dicky bird, mate.”

Another example of where you usually use the whole phrase. Also, “word” can also mean “a brief chat”. E.g. “Can I have a dicky bird?”

Dog and Bone - Phone

E.g. “You know what, give me a call on the old dog and bone and we’ll sort it out then.”

Duck and Dive - Skive

E.g. “Let’s duck!” Or “I gotta duck.”

Skive means to avoid work, usually by leaving early, similar to what Americans might call “playing hooky”.

Dustbin Lid - Kid

E.g. “How’s the dustbin lid?”

As mentioned in Part 1, it’s good to keep in mind that there can be multiple Cockney rhyming slang phrases for the same word, as well as multiple Cockney rhyming slang phrases that start with the same word. For more information, see Part 1.

As always, I’m not an expert; a true Cockney would know far more than I do. I just want to share the knowledge that I have. I hope someone will find this helpful, informative, or entertaining at the very least.

I’ve got more Cockney rhyming slang phrases coming, but if there’s any other areas of British slang you’d like me to go into, let me know and I’ll see what I can do!

Happy writing and happy speaking!

My other British slang posts: Cockney Rhyming Slang, Cockney Rhyming Slang Phrases Part 1, British Police Slang, Terms of Endearment, Innit VS In’t - a PSA

[mkeyztrm]

rest in peace, to Liam Payne .

“ Former One Direction singer Liam Payne died outside a hotel in the Argentine capital Buenos Aires,

local police confirmed on Wednesday, saying the 31-year-old British musician was found dead after falling from his third floor hotel room balcony. ”

may you be gone, but never forgotten and live on in our hearts as a genuine man with such an angelic voice and soul. <33

[mockerycrow]

are you good at character analysis? I wanna know what your analysis would be for Gaz, I’m trying to figure out his story since he’s my favorite out of TF 141

KYLE GAZ GARRICK

BASIC OVERVIEW — BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick is a British Black man who enlisted into the British Army around 2008 or 2014 (unfortunately, the developers have inconsistencies). His operator biography states 2008 while the official activision website in a blog post about MW2019 states 2014, however it does make sense for him to enlist in 2008. He would have been at least sixteen years old which is the minimum age requirement to enlist. I would like to quickly throw in that Gaz is indeed older than Soap, as this is a misconception that I surprisingly see a lot! Gaz’s blood type is B- and he currently ranks as sergeant (which according to the official British Army website, it typically takes at least twelve years in the service, however it implies it also depends on the person’s abilities).

Gaz spent four years in the Queen’s Lancashire Regiment. During these four years going through a multitude of tests and challenges before passing selection for Special Air Service (SAS). The activision blog says during MW2019, it’s his sixth year serving as a sergeant. However, as Gaz had been selected for TF141, I believe their ranks have paused in time. Gaz has mostly spent his time in anti-terrorism in his military career. He’s an expert in demolitions, VIP escorting, weapons tactics, covert surveillance, and target elimination. He’s been awarded multiple medals, and earned his Parachute Wings whilst spending time at Camp Lejeune in the U.S. whilst collaborating with Navy SEALs. Kyle is a master of evasion and deception, being the only candidate in his entire class to escape capture from the facility and evade detection during resistance training. 

When Gaz first meets Cpt. Price, Gaz is currently assigned to an SAS specific counter-terrorism program in the UK who collaborate with the police, which is another misconception that Gaz was a police sergeant at one point (he was not! I believe some people think this because at E3, Gaz was wearing a police baseball cap).

CHARACTER OVERVIEW

Like true to the original Gaz, he is Price’s protege, being his student. Gaz is overall a serious and hardworking man, loyal and unbreaking. He knows when to joke and he knows when to reload. However, Gaz is not perfect and he does lose his cool (we see subtle development with this later down the road). While being loyal, Gaz does not hesitate to question Price’s choices and actions. We see this multiple times during the series, the most prime example being in MW2019 when Price and Gaz are interrogating The Butcher with Yegor. The Butcher taunts Gaz, causing Gaz to lunge and Price to send him off to fetch.. “The package”. The package being, The Butcher’s family. The reboot games, you have choices, so I’ll give the very basic run down. 

You have the option to opt into the interrogation or to opt out of it. If you opt out, Price bursts out of the room with the information (if you go near the door, you hear The Butcher’s family sobbing). If you opt in, you have so many options. At the end of the day, Gaz is mostly silent and follows orders from Price. In the police cruiser scene, Gaz questions Price in the car—he did not expect to be using women and children as bargaining chips and he makes that clear, and this is a big teaching moment between Gaz and Price. We have to remember that Gaz is young and considering everything, inexperienced to an extent. Price makes up for that inexperience, teaching him along the way. During the interrogation scene, Price makes a remark: “We’ve taken the gloves off.” This is because Gaz lashed out. Later in the car, Price says “When you take the gloves off, you get blood on your hands, Kyle. That’s how it works.” after Gaz questions him.

CONCLUSION

Overall, Gaz is a very complex character and I enjoyed watching his development during these games. I’ve seen people claim Gaz is boring or plain, but I genuinely do not believe that to be the case. Gaz, in my opinion, is also the most relatable character. He’s young, ambitious, and determined. He’s charismatic and efficient. I don’t believe a character has to be extremely traumatized, or look very very unique to be a well-crafted character and Gaz is a great example for this. 

Gaz is just a man who enlisted; someone who is smart and well-rounded (as much as an SAS member can be), he’s quick on his feet and he molds into group work fantastically. He’s extremely versatile and is a quick learner—and wants to learn. He has his flaws that make him human. Gaz develops great self control, is level-minded and is able to think for himself. A great student questions their mentor in everything and you see this with Gaz. 

You see Gaz struggle with morality in the series in a sea of characters who kill and do things without a second thought. We see him question things, we see his emotions and his extreme reluctance. We definitely see some development down the road as Gaz becomes more ruthless, but he never quite forgets his humanity in a way, compared to Price where he can easily disconnect humanity (ex. Calling The Butcher’s wife and son “the package/leverage”). 

Along with this, we see him struggle with the rules in place. I also think this is why Gaz and Price’s dynamic is great. There are rules for a reason, and both Price and Gaz know when to break them—but Gaz learns that breaking some rules doesn’t always happen for the most heroic of actions (again, Price’s quote about bloodying your hands after taking the gloves off). Gaz wants to save people and keep the peace, we see this in Piccadilly during the terrorist attacks and the aftermath scene with Price where Gaz lets the Captain know that he and his unit had actionable intel on the terrorist cell who committed the act. Of course, we see later down the road that taking the gloves off removes all limits, not just some of them. We also see a glimpse of Gaz’s conflicting feelings when 141, Farah & Alex, as well as Laswell learn about Hadir and his plans, as well as when Farah’s forces are deemed a terrorist organization.

I think I rambled on a lot about him, hopefully this is understandable! 

Sources: price & gaz activision blog intros (2019), inconsistency in enlistment date, cod fandom wiki, gaz scenes mwi & mwii, official british army website.

[tzifron]

Reminds me of how the British blamed the Acadians for the Mi'kmaq resistance.

The crackdown on campuses offered a grim continuity: Police and other officials churned out all the same old excuses for quashing resistance. Most notably, their rhetoric relied on the predictable canard of the “outside agitator.” New York Mayor Eric Adams trotted it out as grounds for sending in an army of baton-wielding cops against the city’s students. And Deputy Police Commissioner Tarik Sheppard went even further on MSNBC Wednesday morning, brandishing an unremarkable chain lock — the sort of which I’ve seen on bikes everywhere — as proof that “professionals,” not students themselves, had carried out the takeover of the Columbia building. The bike-lock business quickly came in for rightly deserved mockery, but the “outside agitator” myth is no joking matter. In this current moment, the “outside agitators” conjured are both the perennial anarchist bogeymen or Islamist terror groups sending funds to keep student encampments flush with the cheapest tents available online. The “outside agitator” trope has a long, racist legacy, including use by the Ku Klux Klan. In the 1930s, the Klan issued flyers in Alabama claiming that “paid organizers for the communists are only trying” to get Black people “in trouble.” The allegation does double rhetorical harm by denying the agency and commitment of organizers themselves and suggesting that “outside” support from beyond a given locale or institution is somehow a bad thing. More recently, the canard has been hauled out in defense of movement repression in Atlanta, against Stop Cop City protesters who had made a national call for backup. And it was a common refrain for politicians nationwide during the 2020 uprising, as well as discourse around the earlier Black Lives Matter protests in Ferguson after police killed Mike Brown. Blaming outside agitators or interests always was a propaganda ploy and remains so now. The idea that Palestinian liberation struggle is a mere proxy for Iranian interests repeats the delegitimizing logic of the past. In fact, the Gaza solidarity encampments on campuses are student-organized and led, with Palestinian students at front and center, and a disproportionately large presence of Jewish students too. It is students, over 1,000 of them, who have faced arrest. It also happens that millions of people have called for an end to Israel’s genocidal war, and support for Palestinian liberation is not and must not be limited to the mythic and maligned terrain of campus activism.

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

A prominent women’s chess player has accused a fellow player of rape and sexual harassment as she warned a “toxic culture“ of misogyny and sexually predatory behaviour plagues the chess community.

Sabrina Chevannes, a women's international chess master, said she was raped at a chess tournament by another contestant.

The 36-year-old, who quit professional chess in January 2017, told The Independent the incident happened when she was black-out drunk as a teenager.

She added: “I woke up in the linen room of the hotel on a table. I was in so much pain. I didn’t quite understand what had happened.

“While playing chess I was in so much pain I could barely sit down. Him and his friends were high-fiving about it.”

Ms Chevannes, who won ten British chess titles, said sexual harassment, sexual assault or discrimination against women has taken place at every chess tournament she has ever attended.

She has endured racism from fellow chess players, with people often assuming she had cheated when she did well in tournaments, she added.

She told of an incident at a chess tournament when a man who was a chess master groped her.

“I was 11 years old,” she recalled. “I wanted to have a picture with him because he was famous in this world. He posed for the picture but did this thing where he put his hand down my back touching my butt. Then he turned around and winked at me.”

She encountered him again at another chess event when she was a teenager where he told her he had seen her on the front of a chess magazine, she added.

“He said ‘You are developing so well’. I said ‘I was at my best rating’, and he said ‘No, I don’t mean developing like that’,” Ms Chevannes recalled.

“He said he may need another copy of the magazine as he said he had worn his down with all the night time reading. He looked at me in a creepy, lecherous manner. When he met me when I was 18, he said ‘now you are legal in all countries’.”

The former player said she would actively avoid tournaments where he was playing. She noted he sexually propositioned her a few years ago - asking her to go back to his hotel room.

Ms Chevannes said: “He used very racist misogynistic language to my face.”

She told of another incident where a different chess player offered to let her sleep in his hotel room as she was tired from her flight but couldn’t check into her room until mid-afternoon.

“He wasn’t in the room when I was sleeping but I woke up to find one hand down my pants and one hand in my bra,” she added. “He did the same thing again when I was in the same house as him and lots of others in the chess community.”

Ms Chevannes, who now coaches chess, said she did not report any of the aforementioned incidents to the police at the time as others warned her she would not be believed.

But she explained social media posts she recently shared about her alleged experiences had been seen by the police who are now looking into her claims.

Female chess players have come forward in recent weeks to make allegations of sexual assault, violence and harassment from male players.

Earlier in the month, 14 of France's top female players wrote an open letter, “denouncing the sexist or sexual violence they have suffered” in the chess community, with over 100 women in chess signing the letter in the space of only five days.

Ms Chevannes described the chess community as an “insular world” with a rigid hierarchy where people are judged by their chess abilities and women are perpetually belittled.

“Women are seen as inferior, they genuinely believe men are superior to women in every way - including intellectually,” she added. “If you beat someone, it's described as you raped them.”

[a66-1]

starving.

Simon x Fem!Insecure!Reader.

Part 1 | ???

TW: Talk of ed's, negative self talk, low self esteem, bad mouthing (from reader to herself, comes with the territory) cursing, self harm. i tried not to be too descriptive with the reader, so EVERY insecure girlie who reads this feels seen. (these tw are for the whole thing, im pretty sure this is gonna be a series)

a/n: hey. if you need help, dm me. ill talk to you if you need it :). (also i made my banners. if you want one dm me! i make them for free, just with credit :)) NOT PROOF READ

i hope your doing okay honey.

Stepping out of the shower, the towel around you just big enough to touch ends is slipped around yourself. Showering is getting harder. You can barely stand glancing at the mirror now.

You dry yourself off, and hand the towel back up. You can do it, just walk past the mirror to grab your clothes.

You take the steps past the mirror, and turn your back to the mirror to change. Slipping your bra on, and it squishes the skin on your back and you grimace.

Once your dressed, you turn back around. The nagging voices are just waiting to pounce. I mean, what? You used to be so skinny.

You used to be pretty.

You decided to let your hair air dry, and you walk into your bedroom. You had work today, but you really wish you didn't. It was a bad week, you'd skipped 3 meals in the last few days and you know what your therapist would say.

'The progress you've made, hun. You can't go back now.'

The bad days are getting too close to each other now. You used to have at least a week between them, but now it's barely 48 hours. Maybe being off medicine isn't working good anymore.

Maybe you're no good.

You throw in a big hoodie, one that covers you, and some sweat pants, glancing at the big mirror in your room.

You can't stop analyzing yourself.

There's not one good thing on you is it?

Fuck.

The rest of the day was spent at your stupid 9-5, with your stupid boss, in your stupid, lonely life. Christ, being off anti-depressants is really hitting you hard. Everyone at your job is stupid and today every customer who wants to blow you ear off about how you kids these days, by the end of the day, your so tense that your shoulders are aching.

You got about 30 minutes left at this off-brand kroger store, when a big, big ass man walks in, shoving a mask with a skull print on it on. You curse to yourself, you really don't want to have to call the police for a robbery, you just want to go home.

To be honest, if he had a gun, you'd be half tempted to let him shoot you-

"Ma'am?" A heavy British accent came from your right. You turn your head, and scan his few items. You don't bother with the how are you's and you sigh.

"It'll be 16.84." You drag your eyes to his, and he reaches to his pocket, pulling out..

A wallet. What else were you thinking?

He hands you a twenty, and you hand him his respective change. He bags his own items, because honestly, you seem like the only worker in the store. Your face is written with exhaustion, whether it be from this job or something else, and the guy notices.

"Have uh... A good day." He nods to you, and walks off.

You purse your lips, and sigh, closing your cashier, because fuck finishing today. You're too close to a breakdown, and you're not trying to let anyone see.

You drive home, your hands tight around the wheel. You know it's a bad idea to be driving this emotional, to the point you wonder what would happen if you swerve your car into a tree.

You won't do it though.

You need to get back out there. It's why you stopped taking your meds.

You promise yourself that tomorrow you'll go out, and at least get a one night stand, you want need, anything.

Once home and in bed, you scroll and scroll and scroll. Doom scrolling is too common on these longer nights. You have a pillow tucked into your arm, and your hand squeezes it every time that pang in your lower chest rings out. Loneliness, you think.

You always scroll through your old friends instagrams or snapchats, seeing their nice bodies and nice boyfriends. You've been so nice and kind and karma should be on your side, but it always failed.

Especially after your last boyfriend.

Your friends say to wait.

To wait.

To wait.

But waiting is getting harder. Days are getting longer, and your head seems to spin more when left to its own devices. Why do you have to wait?

Your looks.

Your personality.

Who'd wanna be seen with you?

You flip your phone over, and shove your face in the pillow, your breathing staggered.

You fell asleep late, that night. The tears brought you to exhaustion.

woah why did this take 2 tries to write.

be waiting for pt.2

TRUST FINALS ARE SOOM COMING TO AN END and summer i will be STEWING TRUST!!!

Taglist!

@i-am-hungry-24-7

thank you for all the support. drunk simon blew up and im crying bc i came back after a 2 year hiatus and i wasn't getting the same feedback as usual so to finally seeing people enjoy my work again makes me feel great. <3

sorry simon wasn't in this part much. you gotta know the reader first tho, right?

bye babes..

-a661

[thesharktanksdriver]

Anarchy in the Spiderweb (Romantic)

I don’t know British slang so sorry if he’s dialogue seems a bit out of character.

Also watches this movie 2 days ago so I’m going off of memory of him plus other people’s interpretations

Not even sure this is good but my mind is racing with him and this is what came out of that

From the moment you met Hobie brown you knew that the two of you would end up inexplicably tangled together somehow

Your not sure why, but it felt as if fate had pulled you both together

It was in high school you both met

Him, the cool and justice focused punk who was regularly getting himself into fights

And you, the relatively normal but meek kid who was regularly picked on

It was a cold and dreary afternoon which was normal for London weather

You were walking home, new bruises lining your arms after being pushed around once again

Old cuts now reopened as you walk with your bag hugged to your chest

It was then turning a corner you saw him

Bruised just like you were but with a proud smile, blood staining his teeth and knuckles like shining beacons to his victory

A complete opposite to you

Without thinking you pull out some spare bandages from your bag

Rushing over before he could say anything and doing your best to patch him up

It was when you looked him in the eyes you paused

And it was then that you felt it, an odd spark of something that you both seemingly felt

A shiver goes down your spine and it’s not from the cold nor your bruises

Once your done wrapping him up as best you could you go to scurry away but your stopped when his hand grabs your wrist

For a moment your afraid

But then he speaks

“You got into your own battles huh?”

“I…” you pause to think of the right words “if you call standing there and taking it as a battle…then yeah”

He gets a look in his eyes, something burning and angry but not directed at you. “I’m Hobie. You need some company?”

For a moment you think it over, there might be more kids on your way back home “I…sure. I’m Y/n”

He pats your shoulder with a gentleness you haven’t expected, his smile is cool and calm. “Aight”

From then on you stuck like glue

Despite skipping classes he’d show up when your classes would end to walk you to the next

Lunches that used to be alone were now spent with him behind the school with his newest track list

In his words it was to “listen to some real music”

The bruises that we’re constantly reappearing now faded away

As did the constant frown and anxiety that filled you when going to school

At some point you enjoyed heading to the corrupt system that did nothing to help you

But Hobie did and that’s what had mattered to you

Even as people stopped picking on you he stayed

You began hanging out with him after school

Being taken to some hole in the wall places he found via word of mouth

Some of which end up in running from the police afterwards but with that comes dodging into alleyways and then laughing your ass off

Going to unknown concerts for bands you’d never heard of

Being dragged backstage by him during his small concert venues as well

It’s quite possibly the most fun you’d had in your life

And with that you begin to open up more much to his pleasure

You used to be a shy wallflower but now he saw a different side to you

One that loved adventure and risk

Someone who desperately needed to break out of their shell with a little help

A person who began experimenting in their own style with his help

Sometimes he crashes randomly at your place, coming in through the window after knocking on it

Usually at some random time in the night

But despite how you grumble about it you let him in

On nights like these he strums his guitar, trying out new songs he’s made and getting your opinion

Or doing activities like having you paint his nails

He doesn’t care about the colour, even if it’s something that clashes with his looks

Also may or may not have pierced your ears

At some point within the night you both crash on the bed in a mess of limbs

Luckily he has the hindsight to take off his boots and studded clothes

At some point Hobie begins to show up at your place more with injuries that need to be patched up

It worries you a bit, especially as Oscorp becomes bigger and bigger

It’s not like he hasn’t gotten into fights before and came to you but now things are changing

And not for the better

But regardless you know it’s useless talking him out of it

you knew how he was

He’d never not stand up for others

Never stop going against the system

And that had to be one of the things you loved most about him

So you just stick to patching him up, lightly teasing him a bit which makes him chuckle

Butterflies fluttering in your stomach as his deep voice rumbles

It doesn’t help that as of late he had also been much more…affectionate?

Not in the traditional sense, but in his own way

From the beginning of knowing him, Hobie has had a habit of gifting you things as a sign of care

And that hasn’t stopped, it increased quite a bit

All his gifts are handmade and personal. Things only you and him would have the context to understand

Also cause he hates capitalism

Hand painted bottle caps that he made into buttons

Small scraps of paper of lyrics from his songs

Playlists he made with hand selected songs that “remind him of you” that have certain romantic subtext

Customizing your clothes (with your permission) into something similar to his style yet personalized just for you

They aren’t grand gestures but each are more meaningful that way

Each somehow recalling an old memory between the two of you

Like him showing you the sex pistols for the first time at lunch whilst he played along with the tune

Or a button with your nickname on it

All those can be somewhat written off though, maybe he was just being more sentimental as of late

Maybe he did this with other close friends (your not sure if he really talked to anyone but you though?)

But then again he’d also been more touchy

Draping an arm around your shoulder when he notices you getting uncomfortable

Lingering by your side closer than he did before

The occasional time his rough hands will graze yours almost intentionally

By doing this many seem to assume your both a couple and he never goes out of his way to correct them

Just letting the comment slide as your left to frantically explain

It seems to be signs that he might like you yet your not fully sure

He’s the first ever really good thing in your life and you can’t risk ruining it

Not when there’s still a chance your looking into things too much

Not when he may find it too awkward and stop being there for you

Eventually during hangouts he brings up the subject of the new spider vigilante

It’s not very surprising to you, yet you can’t help but be a bit intrigued since he had a negative view on heros

You tell him the truth though since there no point lying to him

Spider-Man or Spider-punk as he’s widely nicknamed, is pretty cool in your opinion

He reminded you a lot of Hobie in the fact he stood up for the weak and gave the middle finger to pricks in power

In that regard he earned your respect

Along with the fact you had to admit he was pretty cool looking

That earns you a chuckle from Hobie as he rummages through his bag for something

Meanwhile your still talking when he suddenly shows you a very familiar spider mask with spikes along the top to mimic a Mohawk

And now your staring in complete and utter shock

Mouth agape

Eyes wide

He just fucking laughs and pulls it over his head, somehow being able to contain his hair

“So you like it eh? Well…Do you like it even more now?”

“Hobie what the ever loving fuck?!?”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

“Your Spider-Man?! How??”

“Long story short, radioactive spider from illegal dumped waste. Not surprising to be honest. Not when you still haven’t caught onto the hints that I like you luv”

“Huh?! Wait you like me?!”

“Thought I made it pretty clear.”

Yeah so, Hobie just randomly dumps that on you

And it takes a while to process

But in that time he’s already holding you close as your a stuttering mess of confusion

He finds it cute

Especially since he gets to tease you about it a whole shit ton later

But once you do process it, things progress

He becomes you partner and you become his

Your trust between one another growing stronger as he tells you of his fights and goals

Those night visits increase as he literally swings past to say hi or get quickly patched up before heading out again

But now before he goes he insists in getting a kiss for luck

And how can you refuse him when he gives you that damn smirk

With his spider powers he likes to take you places you normally couldn’t see

Like the top of buildings to some old dilapidated factory that the two of you explore for shits and giggles

These become the equivalent of dates since he finds restaurants too cliche. He does bring food though on these excursions

In public he doesn’t change the amount of affection he gives you very much

A arm around your shoulder or curled around your waist

He prefers to not go beyond that but if someone is trying to flirt with you and they are the getting the message that your already in a relationship he may sneak a quick kiss

Along with this he also lets you have the honour of wearing his stuff

Jackets, vest, pins, shirts, you name it and he’ll lend you it

He finds it cute especially if it clashes with your own style

Speaking of which, he’ll also probably steal your stuff as well since he finds it nice to have something of yours with him

His enhanced sense make smell much more prominent to him and having something of yours with it makes him feel a bit more relaxed

Helps him on duty as well when things get rough, it just reminds him what he’s fighting for

Cause from the moment you both met on that shitty cold day he knew he needed to help you

And since then he’s wanted to make this shitty world better for the people who deserve it

Eventually when he’s approached by another Spider-Man from a different dimension named Miguel he is apprehensive

Hobie has (and will) never be someone who is ordered around

Especially not by some big wig who thinks he’s better than everyone

But despite that he can’t help but be tempted to know more about all of this

Throughout his entire run as Spider-Man the only other person he’s had is you

But even then you didn’t know the full potential and extent of what it’s like to have these powers

Now there are literal hundreds of thousands who know

Some of which he can’t help but think would be cool to meet, especially since there had to be others like him

So for now he agrees but not before giving you the heads up first

Especially since he doesn’t trust Miguel and whatever the hell he was talking about with “canon events”

All you ask is that he gets back safe at the end of the day and tell you all about what he’s seen

He smiles and gives you a kiss before leaving through a portal via a bracket of sorts

What he quickly learns whilst at spider HQ is that for every spider-person a set destiny of events would happen to them

Some of which he recognizes in his own story

But one that didn’t was you

His love for you goes against the bullshit of whatever canon decides is supposed to happen

Your not an M.J or a Gwen

Not some weird variant of them with a slightly altered name

Your you

Perfect, beautiful, amazingly caring you who has always been there for him when society spat on him

But when has he ever listened to authority?

So due to this he keeps mention of your name to none. Just sticking to the nicknames he’s given you when talking to others

Of all the spiders he meets he ends up to be pretty close friends to a small group of them

Gwen, Pavitr, and Mayday (by extension her father as well)

He even begins letting the Blond spider-woman crash at his place one learning her situation of going home

Warning you of not saying your actual name around her just in case as a precaution

But besides that you get along with her as well

She feels a bit awkward staying at his place considering he’s in a relationship but you assure her it’s fine

You trust her

And most importantly you trust him

Plus by how she was talking about “Miles” you had no real reason to worry

(Along with the fact her situation hit too close to home when Hobie ended up without a home for awhile and you were the only person he could turn to)

Gwen is welcome company especially as she and Hobie practice songs together while you all hang out

It’s fun watching

Especially since Hobie at some through focuses his attention on showing off whilst staring at you with his dumb smile

You can’t help but giggle afterwards as he make some comments about it

Meanwhile Gwen sitting nearby on the couch wondering if she should leave the room

Pavitr is another who ends up occasionally dropping by at Hobie’s who ends up meeting you

He’s a ray of sunshine who is bouncing with joy once seeing you and Hobie

He comments on the “beautiful chemistry” while Gwen sighs

During hangouts Pavitr tends to talk with you about what it’s like in his dimension and the differences between here and there

It’s actually pretty cool

Especially as he occasionally brings snacks and drinks for everyone to try as he talks about his Aunt preparing them

He might or might not have let it slip that Hobie constantly talks about you to everyone who will listen

Which he then absolutely gushes about being super adorable

What he finds even more adorable are the songs Hobie wrote that are obviously about you

Yet at the time he wrote them you kept thinking otherwise

You swear Pavitr somehow knows every nerdy fact know to man

He might’ve taught you how to use string to create stuff

And then he squeals when he finds out you did what he taught you and made it a gift to Hobie

He is both your and Hobie’s number one supporter

Hobie says he brings Mayday over to “teach her about anarchy” but you have a feeling it’s really so Peter can spend some time with his wife

Not that your complaining thought since Mayday is adorable

The little redhead is climbing up the walls and parading her knitted Spider-Man hat as if it were a priceless treasure (which it is)

She absolutely loves Hobie and you

Sometimes he lets her play with a little “drum” set he made with some cans and junk

She loves it, partially cause she loves causing chaos

Which he approves of

When he tuckers her out she goes to you

You gently hold her and lay her to bed

Peter secretly pays you for this cause Hobie refuses to take the money

Miguel is a name you hear a lot in passing but you’d luckily never met him (yet)

You have a feeling it wouldn’t end up well

Especially since you aren’t an “M.J” or Gwen

But you know for a fact if it did end up in a fight Hobie would be at your side

He’s not listening to some goth Garfield who thinks he’s automatically in charge of everyone just because he figured out multiverse travel first

Especially not when Hobie sees the guy has a few screws loose

He just has to wait for the right moment though

Besides, what’s more punk than sticking it to the man for someone you love?