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anthonybialy · 1 year ago

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Buffalo Bills Have Quarterback Who Makes All the Difference, Unfortunately

An overtime loss on a punt return was a perfect ending in its way. Fuming about a rather egregious lapse for an alleged pro team is an afterthought in a sign of just how superbly the opener went, specifically not quite very. The most atrocious punt coverage in memory was merely the exclamation point. Now is the time for questioning every statement. Winning a coin toss after doinking in a tie meant the club can’t kvetch about not getting breaks. Instead, the Bills beat the Bills.

Josh Allen was the deciding factor. That’s supposed to be good news. Losing on his lonesome is the variable fans weren’t expecting if anyone enjoys surprises. Inflicting a handicap is one way to ensure parity. But making it fair isn’t in his job description. This isn’t golfing, although he may have done too much of that. The good news for him is that nobody’s going to care who he’s dating.

We wanted desperately for the Jets to use the Aaron Rodgers blink of a tenure as an excuse. Instead, the Bills couldn’t capitalize on how he wasn’t going to tackle or cover receivers no matter how long he played. The four-snap era led to the Jets needing the Bills to squander the most glorious of chances, and they naturally obliged.

The only way losing to Zach Wilson could get more mortifying is when he’s thrust into playing after presuming he was going to spend the evening swiping potential OkCupid matches on the sideline. Doing so should shame any respectable franchise into proficiency. A night off for MILFs turned into the same for the Bills. Even his cadence on “Green 18” sounds hollow.

Bills fans should be delighting in memories of Wilson’s prototypical interception that he would’ve thrown even on an alternate DC Comics Earth where Rodgers is a Titan and the new/old/new guy had the entire offseason to prepare like a starter. Taunting him should lead to a gain of 15 yards.

As for the quarterback he beat, the stubborn refusal to read coverages is the wrong style of defiance. An interception where it looked like there wasn’t another Bill in New Jersey was as bad as making Stefon Diggs play defense. Fumbling a snap by not looking at the ball was a nice touch if the throws into oblivion weren’t infuriating enough. We’re trying to combat a story about Allen’s ghastly decisions as he adds another chapter. That settles it: I’ll take the cash if I win West Herr's giveaway and not the truck.

Calling Allen a gunslinger shames qualified profession members. He’s shooting at the Sun. Aiming recklessly differs entirely from playing riskily. His decisions reflect someone who thinks he has to win games singlehandedly while losing them on its own. Irony is tough to appreciate while watching him make decisions bad enough to make Doug Whaley shake his head.

Wholly unnecessary gambles are not an aberration from last season but now part of his profile. He’s reached the point where it’s on him to change the perception, as he didn’t do so during the offseason. Number 17 hits on 19; if he gets an ace, he hits again.

Allen is presently a bad player. That sounds dramatic for an acceptable reason. A failing 62.6 rating is atrocious and still doesn’t encompass how he cannot be trusted. The one thing better than criticizing himself is not once again putting himself in position where he needs to do so. A new season offers an opportunity to start fresh, and he turned it down. Instead, he sounds like a drunkard promising to sober up before sneaking sips from a schnapps bottle.

This isn’t part of the Josh Allen experience. Trying to throw through small windows is distinct from seeking to throw through closed doors. He hasn’t always been careless with attempts. It wouldn’t be okay if he was, but this unfortunate habit has only become an issue since partway through last season. Maddening decisions are avoidable if you seek hope. The problem is the habit seems to have taken hold.

Recklessness is thorough. Worst of all, there’s no beneficial result in exchange for the tradeoff. Take his daft final play of the first half, which featured him jumping pointlessly for a few extra yards far from the line to gain and in the red zone, which he needs to be informed means the placekicker is already within range. We’d be more upset about one bad decision if it was the worst he made and not maybe in fifth place.

A few missed tackles almost seem like a quaint issue. Leslie Frazier was coordinating from home. We can’t blame him except for his legacy. Sean McDermott seemed distracted as feared. The same defensive lapses as usual would ideally be the most glaring issue.

Prison thinking leads to obsessing over outcomes that likely won’t happen. The only way to exacerbate endless hours for pondering is to let theoretical narratives take root. The offseason sentence led some fans to either conclude the Bills were destined to cruise or doomed to have missed their chance. An unanticipated scenario involving remedial quarterback play didn’t come to mind that entire time in a mental cell.

We still only know one game despite the urge to project results on the next 16. The Chiefs and Bengals aren’t surrendering because of their respective underwhelming losses. But the fixes aren’t headlights that turn on automatically when needed. Teams made to wait the longest to start get the shortest interval before going again, which is good news for one in particular that needs to prove their self-destruct sequence isn’t their most prominent play call.

The opener confirmed the narrative, or didn’t. That narrows it down to all the possibilities in the universe. Buffalo doesn’t necessarily have to be defined by a game that was frustrating even by historical franchise standards. But Tre White needs to start regaining his form. Spencer Brown has to learn how to play offensive lineman. And Buffalo’s most prominent resident must stop trying to do it all on his own, especially since he’s doing the opposite.

Everything feels different on September 11. Sports seem both unimportant and treasured if the schedule happens to coincide. A day for reflection leads to appreciation for things we enjoy. If you’re a Bills backer, it then leads to returning to everyday aggravations.

Games go on even if tenures end before taking seats. The Bills were struck by lightning about half a dozen times last year. The Jets learned from their rival’s precedent and didn’t use getting hit by a lava meteor as an excuse.

A Trent Edwards/Dick Jauron-worthy performance is the unwelcome kind of throwback. This season’ first outing ended as unnecessarily ignominiously as 2009’s horrid opener with the additional cruelty of having seen incumbents perform far better. The Jets cashed in on facing a quarterback who wouldn’t have performed differently if he were trying to lose.

The same franchise that’s broken your heart before dipping it in liquid nitrogen to shatter it hasn’t changed despite recent exceptions. That was only one game. But the Bills used their opening shot to demonstrate they’ve reinforced their worst tendencies.

#Buffalo Bills #Josh Allen #NFL #football

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noahaidanandmrdarcy · 2 years ago

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Updated "NoahSeeksAllie" OkCupid Profile

MY SELF SUMMARY

"What do women want?"

Women keep us guessing. That’s why when a man tries to figure out what a woman wants, he often looks like a cat chasing a laser pointer…confused, disoriented, but strangely hopeful.

Women seem to want contradictory things in a man:

Women want a man who’s ambitious; an achiever who’s successful both professionally and financially........

who’s not materialistic.

Women want a man who is solid, steady, consistent and reliable........who is fun, unpredictable and spontaneous.

Women want a strong-willed, decisive man who takes a stand and doesn’t waiver........as long as he’s flexible, open-minded and can admit when he’s wrong.

Women want a lot…

Women want a realist........who’s romantic,

a guy who’s serious........but playful,

who’s confident........but humble,

and horny........but faithful.

Women want a man who is career-driven........but family-oriented.

Women also want a man who is smart........but not nerdy,

caring........but not needy,

affectionate........but not clingy,

and protective........but not possessive,

emotional........but not neurotic,

funny........but not a clown,

dominant........but not domineering,

and in control........but not controlling.

No problem.

Good to know.

So, take notes guys and remember…

We’ve got to be strong........but sensitive,

tough........but tender,

masculine........but gentle,

and manly........but vulnerable.

Apparently what a woman wants is a gay football coach."

• Brian Scott McFadden

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The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but cannot go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs, and Love Kids.

"That's nice," she thinks, "but I want more."

So, she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking, and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help With Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are Visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender-bias charges, the store's owner opened up a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex, have money, and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

*(I'll be waiting for you on the 5th Floor).

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ASPIRATIONS

If money were no concern, this is what I would be doing:

Setting up Water Purification Centers and Schools in Africa.

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TALENT

I'm really good at:

• Counting (I’ve counted to Infinity….twice).

• I can play the Minute Waltz in 58 seconds.

• Pushing the envelope...where other people fear to tread, I own property.

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MY TRAITS

My golden rule:

Actually, I have a few golden rules:

The first one is the granddaddy we all subscribe to:

"Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You."

The second one, for the time being, is...

"You Can't Do Epic Shit With Basic People"

Third one:

"Beware the Lollipop of Mediocrity...Lick it Once, and You'll Suck Forever."

Fourth one:

"A walk through the lake of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet."

Fifth one:

“If you’re willing to do for 5-10 years what other people won’t….you can do for the rest of your life what other people can’t.”

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MEDIA

The tastiest thing I've ever consumed:

Sorry, don't want to get banned from this site for my non-PG, non-PC answer...

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NEEDS

My partner should be:

Smart, Feminine, Fashionable, Fun, Flirtatious, Frisky and Faithful.

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HOBBIES

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

• Are we ever going to see a movie about Morgan Freeman that is narrated by animals?

• Do people on Swiss streets constantly get into fist fights over the correct time?

• How I overcame my fear of travel even though my dad used to beat me with a globe.

• How the first 40 years of childhood are the hardest.

• How common sense is like deodorant...the people who need it most, never use it.

• How ironic it is that the Amish Bishop responsible for cutting off the beards of some fellow Amish males he was having a quarrel with, had the last name "Mullet" (you just can't write irony this good).

• How Success comes before Work only in the dictionary.

• How my friend will never buy Colgate Whitening Toothpaste again.

It says "Guaranteed Whiteness in 14 Days."

15 days have come and gone and he's still Asian.

• Maybe the Hokey Pokey really is what it is all about.

• How the parents at KMart make the WWE look like Touched by an Angel.

• That if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.

• How Sarc is my second favorite –asm.

• Why I keep having to explain to Charro that, until George Hamilton dies or retires, she cannot be the President of my Fan Club.

• How if Ben Bailey of Cash Cab ever sees me on the streets of NYC, he'd better not pick me up because I will change my destination to something like Peru and bankrupt him.

• How I want to dress up as a Pirate for Halloween and tell women to Surrender Your Booty.

• How women ever get anything done when their minds are like a browser with 2,857 tabs open….All. The. Time. (more power to ya).

• How Alcohol is the liquid version of Photoshop.

• Why my love scene with Betty White was cut from Pulp Fiction.

• I finally figured out why only dogs go to heaven. Because St. Peter gets tired of opening the Pearly Gates when cats want to come in, then go out, then come in, then go out, then come in…

• How one time, on a grade school test, I was asked to name one popular Queen and I wrote, "Freddie Mercury." (double entendre for the WIN!).

• If cats always land on their feet, and toast always lands butter-side down, if you put the buttered toast on the cat's back, wouldn't you wind up with an anti-gravitational cat just spinning in mid-air?

• I think my guardian angel sometimes drinks.

• Why it is that masochists only laugh when something strikes them funny.

• Whatever you give women, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit. ;-)

• I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile…then walk into a pole.

• I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say, “Hey, look...that one is shaped like an idiot.”

• How Kanye West wrote and released “Gold Digger.”

Then Kanye West started dating Kim Kardashian...

Then he and Kim Kardashian had a child….

Obviously, Kanye West doesn’t listen to his own music.

• How one time my girlfriend found lipstick in my pocket. I told her I was cheating; there was no way I was going to confess I sell Avon.

• The look on marathoners’ faces when they grab my cup of vodka.

• How Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit.

• How Charlie Chaplin once secretly entered a "Charlie Chaplin Look-a-Like Contest"... and placed 3rd…seriously.

• These words, that will forever be etched in my mind as the greatest evasive answer ever uttered by a politician:

“I didn’t say I didn’t say it…I said I didn’t say I said it.”

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MOMENTS

A perfect day:

This scenario was conceived when I lived in New York, and thus is based there, but it is easily adaptable to many locales.

Being woken up in my favorite way (not what you think), going out to a nice breakfast, from there taking the motorcycle to the pier to catch the ferry to Jersey for some JetSkiing around the Statue of Liberty for a couple of hours, motorcycle to Astor Wines (or similar wine store) to pick up some cold Gewurtztraminer or German Riesling, over to Whole Foods at Columbus Circle to pick up some Sushi (and/or cheese & crackers...maybe a Humboldt Fog Blue, a Camembert and Aged Manchego), and we're off to have a picnic on the grass in central park with our sushi/wine/cheese, then home to take a steamy shower together to get dirty...err...I mean, cleaned up to go out again; get soigné, head out on the city, for an early dinner (maybe Per Se), then off to a Broadway Show/Opera/The Met, afterwards maybe a stroll around Times Square for the energy (obviously written Pre-Covid), followed by a nightcap at somewhere like Raines Law Room, tucked into the corner by the fireplace at The Beatrice Inn, or maybe check out the scene at Baccarat. Finally, we head to a hotel room I've previously booked and take a candlelit bubblebath in the oversized tub overlooking the city, while drinking some wine (maybe a Cornas, Cab Franc, or Robert Foley Claret or Charbono), feed each other chocolate truffles, converse, get into splash fights and have Mad Pash makeout sessions. We dive through the shower to rinse off the bubbles, I wash your hair and massage your scalp, then I put you to bed MY favorite way possible (once again, probably not what you're thinking), wrap my arms around you like a python for some spooning, and we drift off to sleep.

If you've got a better "Perfect Day", I'd truly be interested in hearing about it..

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SECRETS

The most private thing I'm willing to admit:

This is a touchy subject, so I must tread lightly here on OkCupid, because even though there are women on this site STRAIGHT UP asking for money for sex (which OkCupid seems to turn a blind eye to, thus condoning it),....even a "hint" of anything sexual in a guy's profile on OkCupid, that even a singular woman takes offense at, can get a guy banned. Sad, but true....

Having said that, as delicately and "PC" as I can put this,....... I go down like I made it up.

Think of it this way:

Me: "Mitch Sailor"-like passion (http://bit.ly/MitchSailor)

You: Austin Powers FemBot on overload...

...BUT the difference between Mitch and I, is that I WANT to be in relationship.

A Couple Things of Note:

1. 2-4 HOURS is not uncommon....Seriously.(not mandatory by any means, just my preference if we have the time and you can handle that much pleasure).

2. NO reciprocation, whatsoever, is expected....Seriously.Just lay back and let me enjoy (as you're sure to as well)...

**********DISCLAIMER:***********

Common Side Effects may include, but are not limited to:

1. Shortness of Breath.

2. Arched Back.

3. Sweating.

4. Shuddering.

5. Tense muscles, and clinched hand cramps, followed by eventual, etherial release.

6. Full-Body tremors.

7. The inability to form coherent sentences (or even speak).

8. Making-Up/Moaning/Screaming words that don't actually exist in the English language, and interlacing said "words" with expletives that do.

9. Narcolepsy.

10. Missing your freeway exit for 3 days afterwards.

• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.** But if they were, my skills would be classified as illegal.

P.S. When you get to know me you'll find that I am very humble about most things.

About this subject, however, I am not.

I am very passionate about doing this, and am VERY good at it, as some lucky lady will find out.

I love this to do this with/to/for my partner, and OFTEN.

So, if you don't like having this done to you, or are just Meh about receiving hours of pleasure in this manner, then WE ARE NOT a match. I WILL NOT forego this in a relationship, so my partner has to be pretty into this as well. It's odd that I have to write this last paragraph, as most women seem to not be able to find enough guys who are willing to/love to do this, but I chose to include this last paragraph because I did have one LTR girlfriend who was meh about this, even though the girlfriends flanking her all "suffered" from the aforementioned "Side Effects", so I'm not willing to go through that again.

If "this" isn't your thing, no worries.

If it is, clear your calendar....

(while your friends may occasionally think you've gone into Witness Protection, you're continued reappearance with Perma-Smile will let them know you're doing JUST FINE).

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DATING

What I'm actually looking for:

We all have our own road/journeys to follow/take, and while no one can walk our roads for us, I'm looking for someone who I can hold hands with as we walk our separate journeys, together.

We all have baggage we've accumulated in life.

Some people have more baggage than Liz Taylor going on Safari, and others have little more than a clutch.

I'm currently whittling mine down to fit into the overhead compartment, and I look forward to being there for my partner and supporting her while she unpacks hers

(thus, releasing those weights from her ankles, so that moving forward her load is lightened on this journey of hers).

Put simply...

I don't need fixing; I want someone to love me while I fix myself (and I promise to do likewise).

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TRAVEL

My favorite relaxation destination:

Carmel, and/or the Post Ranch Inn (Ocean House) in Big Sur….

Having said that, I’m looking forward to comparing Soneva Fushi (Maldives) and the Seychelles, to see how they stack up.EDIT

Remove Travel

Outdoors

My favorite outdoor activity is...

...Motorcycle Riding, probably followed by JetSkiing, Scuba Diving, Surfing or Skydiving.

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BOOKS

Currently reading:

Infinite Jest

DFW's writing style is absolutely amazing; Oh, to be blessed with such a brain.EDIT

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MOVIES

The most eye-opening documentary I've seen:

"The Social Dilemma."

One of the best documentaries I've seen in years (and yes, if you've seen it, the irony of me posting that on this site is not lost on me).

The other one, that actually still irks me is, "Who Killed the Electric Car."

I've wished for the demise of GM since seeing that movie.

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TV SHOWS

The show I’ve rewatched too many times:

It's a tie:

Arrested Development (the first 3 Seasons)...and

The West Wing (first 4 Seasons)

IMO, two of the best shows ever written for television.

Third show would probably be Little Britain USA (not nearly the same caliber as the aforementioned shows, but pretty damn funny).

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FOOD

One of the best meals I’ve ever had at a restaurant was:

....actually plant-based, when I was helping my friend Chef Mads Refslund open a restaurant in Aspen, and he had a 10-course Vegetarian menu. Too intricate to explain here, but truly amazing (which is exactly why He and “Noma” have won "Best Restaurant in the World" 4 times).

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ART & DESIGN

My thoughts on photography:

A great medium, because

anything well-done,

is rare.

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PERFORMING ARTS

My favorite comedian and why:

Bill Burr.

He and I are like long lost brothers (from the red hair, down to the quick, sardonic wit).

We think so much alike, it's scary.

Then I would have to say it’s a tie between Greg Geraldo, Nick DiPaolo and Patrice O’Neal.

And let’s not forget one of, if not, the smartest comedians of all time…George Carlin.

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STYLE

The most iconic fashion house:

Pre-assassination, I'd have to say Versace (Donatella is nowhere near as brilliant).

Nowadays, I'd probably have to give the nod to Chanel...

Followed by (in no particular order):

Valentino, Dior, Armani, YSL, Givenchy

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SOCIAL CONSERVATIVISM

My three wishes as political Aladdin:

1. Instantaneous Lightning Strike of Anybody in Politics who Lies.

2. Single-Item, Up-or-Down votes (no Christmas Tree Bills, or any of that B.S. where a Bill is 51% good, and 49% bad/pork, but politicians vote for it anyway because they have to show “something” for their cough..... “efforts”)…..

3. Absolute transparency about how/where our tax money is spent, without any accounting tricks/spin, and jail terms for politicians who spend it recklessly and/or in such a manner as to pad their pockets and/or get them re-elected.

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WORK

My Dream Job:

To be independently wealthy to such a magnitude that I could literally spend the rest of my life putting my money to good causes like fresh water projects and building schools in some of the poorest countries on Earth, so that more people than ever would at least have an even start/fighting chance to make their lives, their family’s lives and the lives of their community, better because of my efforts.

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METAPHYSICAL

This really resonated with me, so I thought I'd include it for those curious about my thoughts on a how good a relationship with the right person CAN be:

The Invitation...

I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

I want to know if you’ll risk looking like a fool for love, or your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals...or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day and if you can source your own life from its presence.

The Navajo have a prayer, “May I walk with beauty before me, may I walk with beauty behind me, may I walk with beauty above me, may I walk with beauty below me, may I walk with beauty all around me, as I walk the beauty way.”

What is this beauty that the Navajo seek?

It is what pulls us toward life. It is what calls to us when we despair, seduces us into opening again and again to the possibility of love and laughter. It is the physical manifestation of the mystery: God, Spirit, the Divine that surrounds and beckons to us everyday of our lives. It is life that chooses life. The Navajo prayer expresses our soul’s desire to recognize and receive beauty, knowing that as we do so we become co-creators of this beauty, of that which urges, live. Many spiritual paths, both traditional and new age, posit a hierarchy of beauty. If they give any recognition to the sacred as it is manifest physically, such acknowledgment is confined to the nonhuman natural world and relegated to a status below that of the purer beauty of the human spirit or mind. Often, being in physical form is seen as a trial, a burden to be endured, a time to learn vital lessons for a time when we can escape the limitations of our bodies and graduate to the higher nonphysical afterlife. I don’t know what happens when we die, but I do know what happens when we live with this separation of spirit and matter. Beauty becomes merely physical packaging, and those with power define what is pleasing based on profitability and subjective preferences. It is easy to become cynical about how the marketplace has used our desire for beauty to sell us a narrow version of what cannot be bought or sold. We know the costs of this: eating disorders, self-hatred, endless striving for physical perfection. It’s tempting to protect ourselves from this manipulation by devaluing the physical as meaningless or less important than the emotional, mental and spiritual. But this perpetuates the split that is so familiar. This separation of spirit and matter leaves us with the spirituality that lacks the vitality and fire of the physical, and expressions of our creativity and sexuality are cut off from the depths of our hearts and meaning of our souls. Physicality is a gift. It lets us literally touch one another. I am not interested in theories or practices aimed at getting out of here. I do not want to focus on preparing to go to heaven or evolving into formlessness. I want to learn how to be here fully, in this body, in this world, and I want to live in a world infused with the power of the erotic; physical sensation inseparable from heart and soul that calls us to live. When we live erotically, the meaning enfolded in our very cells is unfolded as we touch and are touched; this is beauty. Seeing beauty is not about narrowing our vision, designating only some of its manifestations as worthy. It means expanding our definition of beauty, suspending our judgments and appreciating both the quiet joy of riding a bicycle along the lake, and the raunchy glee of driving a cherry red sports car that hugs the open highway. Seeing beauty is about broadening our ability to recognize the interconnectedness of all manifestations of life, and delighting in how the smells, and sounds, and tastes, and sites that surround us conspire to draw us toward living fully. I want to touch the power of life-giving moisture, and recognize the smell of the sea where it caresses the shore, in the scent of my sweat, in the salt of my tears, in the slippery witness that pours from between my soft thighs when I am well loved.

I want to receive the beauty that reminds me that there is no separation; that each act I live while I’m fully awake cannot help but be both prayer and lovemaking.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, Yes.

It doesn’t interest me who you know, or how you came to be here; I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied; I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

I am not interested in a spirituality that cannot encompass my humanness. I find little comfort or guidance in traditional dogma or unqualified new age optimism. Because beneath the small daily trials are harder paradoxes, things the mind cannot reconcile, but the heart must hold if we are to live fully; profound tiredness and radical hope, shattered beliefs and relentless faith, the seemingly contradictory longings for personal freedom and a deep commitment to others, for solitude and intimacy, for the ability to simply be with the world and the need to change what we know is not right about how we are living.

The invitation is a declaration of intent; a map into the longing of the soul, the desire to live passionately, face-to-face with ourselves and skin-to-skin with the world around us, to settle for nothing less than what is real. If we are to traverse this territory together, there are some things you should know; because simply saying yes to the invitation, feeling the pull of the heart or the quickening of the blood that urges movement forward is not the same thing is actually making the journey. I want to live with deep intimacy everyday of my life. I am guided, sometimes driven, by an ache to take the necessary risks that will let me live close to what is within and around me. And I am sometimes afraid that it will be too much; that I will not have or be connected to whatever it takes to be with it all, to bear the exquisite beauty and bone-wrenching sorrow of being fully alive. The places foreshadowed in the invitation are not metaphorical; they are actual. I want to know if you can do the small, mundane but necessary tasks; if you can give what is needed when you feel you have nothing left to give. When I ask if you can be alone with yourself, I am not asking if the idea of being alone appeals to you, but if you can actually be present with yourself, for longer than a couple of hours without flipping on the TV, or the radio, or picking up the telephone or a magazine; if you can truly find and be at peace with your own company.

We all have 1,000 stories, and my life has had no more or fewer than others. But stories, carefully chosen and shaped by both the teller and the listener, can open gateways into our interior landscape, can reveal the meaning in our lives enfolded in the details and unfolded in their telling and conscious contemplation. I promise that I will not pretend to know something I have not experienced, nor will I try to increase our comfort with each other by feigning confusion where I have knowledge. The consequences of moments of deep intimacy with yourself, another or the world are completely unpredictable. When we learn how to truly be present with our joy and our sorrow, with our longing and our desires, layer upon layer of ourselves in the world are revealed. We cannot know in advance what this revelation will look like or what action it will inspire or compel us to take. I have watched people circle a moment of anticipated intimacy with their own desires, catch the scent of portended change on the wind, and turn and flee the very thing they came seeking; a deeper connection with self and spirit, for fear of what it would call upon them to do in their lives. If we have based parts of our lives on lies, or truths that no longer hold, however well-intentioned or unconscious, the changes that deep intimacy evokes can look very dangerous. We cannot tell in advance which aspects of our carefully constructed sense of self, if any, will survive. This is the good news and bad. If you take the journey, real change is possible and inevitable, and from the present vantage point, completely unpredictable. No part of the journey is wasted. Once you recognize within yourself a hunger for something beyond just continuing, once you taste even the possibility of touching the meaning enfolded in your life, you can never be completely content with just going through the motions. There is no going back; learning cannot be undone. The wisdom touched in moments of real intimacy penetrates the soul with knowledge of who and what we are; it transforms us.

I cannot promise that the journey will always be easy. Opening ourselves to living intimately with the world is not a selective process. If we refuse to touch the places of sorrow or confusion, within ourselves or others, we cannot cultivate the ability to be completely present in our moments of joy and ecstasy. But, if we are open to sorrow as well as joy, we can expand our ability to hold ourselves, and the world, in our own hearts.

I can tell you that it is possible to feel pain without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it; to dance with joy and feel the ecstasy completely; to live with failure, to see beauty, to stand in the center of the fire. I have lived each of these without regret, and my experiences have given me a great faith in the human spirit. My experiences have birthed within me an infinite tenderness for the courage of the human heart, mine and yours, that’ll stand up again and again, and expand to hold all that matters, even when doing so seems to the human mind unbearable or simply impossible. We can do this, and when we do it together it is easier.

When it is hard, I will remind you of what you already know; that you can do this, that the courage to go deeper is found by letting your desire grow larger than your fear. That strength is found in your longing to live fully, your willingness to settle for nothing less. I will not leave you suspended in the places that may be difficult, but will move you through to the places where breathing comes more easily. We are not alone as we struggle to open fully to life. When I am able to live with real intimacy, when I pay attention to each moment and do not shrink away from what is true, I experience a presence that is not mine alone, that holds me even as I hold the moment. This presence, this great mystery, known by so many different names: God, Spirit, Allah, the great mother, lifts me, fills me with a vast silence and a sharp taste of the interconnectedness of all life. I have faith in this mystery and the many ways in which it sustains us.

Before we begin this journey together, you have a right to know what motivates me; why I seek to live intimately with my own life and the world. The most truthful answer to this is the simplest…because I have to. I am compelled by some deep hunger of the soul, driven by a desire that will not leave me alone, to live life to the fullest. And I know this does not mean working endlessly, accomplishing the most or consuming the greatest amount and variety of things and experiences. It means tasting each mouthful, feeling each breath, listening to each song, being awake and aware of each moment as it unfolds. Living fully in the present does not mean disregarding the consequences of our actions for the future. If we, in the West, where so much of the world’s political and economic power resides, are going to find a way to make the changes that are necessary to ensure that our children’s children can live on this planet, we have to learn how to participate fully in our own lives; how to remember and experience the interconnectedness of all Spirit and matter. I seek wisdom in a life that combines contemplation and action. Real contemplation, truly being with the joys and sorrows of my own heart and the world moves me to action guided by awareness and fueled by a passion for life.

There are no deals being offered here. You cannot trade the courage needed to live every moment for immunity from life’s sorrows. We may say we know this, but ours is the culture of the dealmaking mind. From infancy, we have breathed in the belief that there is always a deal to be made, a bargain to be struck. Eventually, we believe, if we do the right thing, if we are good enough, clever enough and sincere enough, work hard enough, we will be rewarded. There are different verses to this song. If you are sorry for your sins and try hard not to sin again, you will go to heaven. If you do your daily practice, clean up your diet, heal your inner child, ferret out all of your emotional issues, focus your intent, come into alignment with the world around you, hone your affirmations, find and listen to the voice of your higher self, you will be rewarded with vibrant health, abundant prosperity, loving relations and inner peace; in other words, heaven. We know that what we do and how we think affects the quality of our lives. Many things are clearly up to us, and many others are not. I can see no evidence that the universe works on a simple meritocratic system of cause and effect. Bad things do happen to good people all the time. Monetary success does come to some who do what they do not love, as well as to some who are unwilling or unable to see the harm they due to the planet or others. Illness and misfortune come to some who follow their soul’s desires. Many great artists have been poor; great teachers have lived in obscurity.

My invitation, my challenge to you here, is to journey into a deeper intimacy with the world and your life, without any promise of safety or guarantee of reward beyond the intrinsic value of full participation.

Life, lived intimately, may not be easier. But it is fuller, richer and more open to everything; the confusion and the insight, the excitement and the boredom, the shadow and light. And somehow, expanding my ability to simply be with it all does make what is hard easier to bear, allows me to give and receive more in each moment. More often than not, it simply helps me find my sense of humor when I’m taking myself too seriously.

When I imagine myself at the end of my life, and ask myself how I will evaluate my time here, there is only one question that concerns me; Did I love well? There are a thousand ways to love other people and the world: with our touch, our words, our silences, our work, our presence. I want to love well; this is my hunger. I want to make love to the world by the way I live in it, by the way I am with myself and others, every day. So, I seek to increase my ability to be with the truth in each moment, to be with what I know, the sweet and the bitter. I want to stay aware of the vastness of what I do not know; this is what brings me to the journey. I do not want to live any other way. And sometimes, I allow myself to imagine that each moment in which we love well by simply being all of who we are and being fully present, allows us to give back something essential to the sacred mystery that sustains all life.

- Oriah

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hellomynameisbisexual · 4 years ago

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By Codi Coday, President of PAVES (Polysexual Alliance for Visibility, Education, and Support)

(Content Warning: sexual assault, corrective rape)

Bi+ people, especially bi+ women, are often oversexualized because of our sexual orientation. Just signing into a dating website as a bi+ woman for a few minutes proves this to be true. Immediately, we are bombarded by couples asking for threesomes and men demanding that we let them watch us hook up with women.

Bi+ people struggle with others not seeing our sexual orientation as real or legitimate. People also tend to believe bi+ people are more promiscuous, more likely to cheat, incapable of monogamy, and greedy. A lot of these problems and misconceptions arise from the pervasive oversexualization of bisexuals.

Bisexuals Are People, Not Objects

When people are reduced to their orientation, race, or gender with the sole purpose of using them to fulfill someone’s sexual desires, they are being treated as a sex toy – not a human being. Frankly, objectifying people is not and cannot be supportive. When people fail to see the entire person attached to an identity, they fail them. It is impossible to support someone when you treat them as an object or need-fulfillment machine.

Double Standards Are Sexist

I often see women say things like, “My boyfriend is so supportive of my sexuality. He lets me do whatever I want with women as long as he can watch.” In reality, this isn’t supportive at all.

There are primary two reasons why this happens and both are unsavory. First, he may allow her to have sexual interactions with another woman because it turns him on. Don’t be fooled. He isn’t doing her a service, as he may try to convince her; he is “allowing” this behavior for purely selfish reasons. He is thinking about his sexual gratification, not her well being.

Secondly, he may allow same sex interactions because he doesn’t see them as a real threat. In this case, he is proving he doesn’t think same-sex relationships are as valid or valuable as heterosexual relationships. That is a huge red flag, proving he isn’t truly supportive. In both cases, selfishness and bigotry are at work rather than support, acceptance, and love.

Bisexual Identities Are Not A Sexual Tool

Many people think that sexualizing bi+ people means that they are supportive of our orientation. This is similar to when men oversexualize, for example, Asian or trans women and then claim they aren’t actually racist or transphobic. (Hint: they are.) If a part of someone’s identity is only supported in sexual circumstances, it isn’t truly supported.

For example, there are many people who oversexualize transgender people, but who do not support their rights. They aren’t supporting transgender individuals; they are supporting transgender people to be used for their sexual gratification only. This leaves transgender people vulnerable to violence. The oversexualization of bi+ people perpetuates violence like this as well.

Increased Corrective Rape & Sexual Violence

Corrective rape is a problem for bi+ people. Corrective rape is when someone is raped due to their sexual orientation, in order to “correct” their behavior. These rapes often occur as an effort to conform to heterosexuality and common gender norms. Men are not the only ones who commit corrective rape, but they are the most common perpetrators. Bi+ women are more likely to spend time with or date men, end up in abusive relationships without a support network, and experience social isolation. This means that bi+ people are especially at risk for corrective rape.

According to a National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence study, “61% of bisexual women reported experiencing rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.” Comparatively, 17% of straight women and 13% of lesbians have experience one of the above. Likely, these terrifying statistics are at least due in part to the oversexualization of bi+ people.

Bi+ people are used and seen as sexual objects rather than human beings with choices and opinions. Too often when people can’t control bisexuals they use rape, violence, and intimidation. Because of bi+ antagonism and misconceptions that bi+ people are slutty, unreliable, selfish, indecisive, dishonest, and more likely to cheat, a lot of bisexuals don’t report these crimes. Sadly, when bisexuals do report crimes to the police, “they are three times more likely to experience police violence than people who are not bisexual,” according to the Movement Advancement Project. That likelihood is increased if they are also trans, a person of color, and/or disabled.

Bisexuality Gets Conflated With Sex

One of the biggest reasons people hate bi+ people is because they conflate bisexuality with sex. In reality, bisexuality has no more to do with sex than being straight or gay does.

However, with the way that people often respond to someone coming out as bi+, they might as well be graphically describing a threesome. We often hear comments like, “Keep your sex life private! I don’t want to hear about that!” when we have only mentioned our sexual orientation and nothing about sex. Gays, lesbians, and straight people are usually able to discuss their sexual orientation without these comments – bisexuals should be no different.

Being out as a bi+ person means explaining over and over again that bisexuality is not the same as promiscuity. No, we aren’t more likely to cheat. No, we aren’t greedy. No, I don’t want a threesome with you and your girlfriend. No, we aren’t more likely to have STIs. No, you cannot watch.

********

OKCupid, a popular dating website and app, flags only the term “bisexual” as possible inappropriate language. This just goes to show that the oversexualization of bi+ people is everywhere – individuals, companies, media, advertisements. This oversexualization of bi+ people that reaches far and wide certainly isn’t support. Supporting bisexuals means not seeing them as sexual objects, treating bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation, and not conflating bi+ identities with sex.

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lilnasxvevo · 4 years ago

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Thoughts about those soulmate AUs where you have the first thing your soulmate says to you somewhere on your body:

-People have talked about how one way to tackle this issue would be to have your own little signature thing to say to people you’re meeting for the first time, something no one else has, like “Moon pie jitterbug” or something, to avoid the problem of someone who just has “Hi” written on them and is pissed about that because their soulmate could be ANYONE who’s ever said “Hi” to them, but I think it would definitely suffice just to say your name.

-“Hi, I’m Jamie” is the first thing out of your mouth to everyone. On your left leg is written “Hey, I’m Alex.” Now instead of two people despairing that their soulmate could be literally anyone in the world, there’s an Alex out there looking for a Jamie and a Jamie out there looking for an Alex. If your name is uncommon, even better. It would be very easy to set up a website where you enter your name and then your soulmate’s name if you know it and then it cross-checks it against all the other people who have signed up—Alex knowing their soulmate is Jamie would receive results of all people named Jamie who have said their soulmate is an Alex as well as (after all the Jamies with Alexes) all the Jamies who don’t know their soulmate’s name. This would probably lead to people giving their kids unusual names to give them an easier time finding their soulmate, but that’s less complicated than everyone having their own unique “thing they say to every stranger.”

-It’s very possible that your soulmate’s first words to you might be in a different language than the language or languages that are native to someone’s family. If you’re American but the words on your body are German, I’d imagine that parents of means might enroll you in like a German-immersion preschool because they want you to be able to communicate with your soulmate, and that later in life that person would feel highly motivated to try to study abroad in Germany.

On soul mate AUs in general:

-What makes two people soulmates besides that they’re soulmates? Is it some sort of similarity in personality, a kinship that two people feel? Is that why it’s nice to have a soulmate? Or is “this person is my soulmate but I have nothing in common with them but I trust that they’re the one for me because the universe said so” a common experience? Cuz I’m just saying, if your soulmate is someone who just “gets” you, stuff like OKCupid would be pretty helpful. Just fill out the most exhaustive battery of personality tests of all time and you’ll get a short list of people who might be your soulmate. Of course, I’d imagine such services would be very expensive since there’s such high demand, unless finding your soulmate is SO important in this universe that the government steps in to regulate costs because everyone deserves to find their soulmate regardless of whether or not they have an exorbitant amount of money to sign up for those services.

-Or maybe the amount is low because they need as many people to sign up as possible to make it work. Maybe the real cost is in “We found a 100% match! Pay us a shitton of money to find out who it is!”

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contacttwo681 · 3 years ago

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Best Dating App For Professionals Over 40

Best Free Dating App For Over 40s

Best Dating Site For Professionals Over 40

Best Dating App For Professionals Over 40 2019

OkCupid's basic services are free to use, and upgraded features start at $4.95 per month. Tinder: One of the most popular dating apps, Tinder was once known as a hookup app for people not looking for long-term commitment. But for many people over 50 Tinder has become a more traditional way to meet and connect. Best dating sites and apps for people over 40 — and which ones to avoid. Find love again (or for the first time.). EliteSingles utilizes a bunch of algorithms to find you a professional match. After a lot of trail and error, here's my unfiltered take on the best dating apps for women over 40, from Bumble to Hinge to eHarmony. Since 2007, Zoosk has distinguished itself as a high-tech dating site and app for singles looking to socialize and pick up dates on the fly. It has over 40 million members and sees over 3 million messages exchanged per day.

It is impossible to stop time and go back to the past. It has turned out that older people mostly search via the internet “what are the best free online dating sites for over 40?” because they are still single. That happens due to one important factor.

Single Sites For Over 40

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When you become older, it is much more difficult to meet new people, especially to marry. It is truly half of life. Many have managed to achieve something in their lives, maybe even several marriages and divorces. However, love is something eternal. That is why there are plenty of over 40 dating sites for singles over 40. They provide various opportunities for communication in order to find love. There a 40-year-old woman can easily start dating a man over forty that have never married. Everyone deserves to be loved, and you also will definitely find it: over 40 dating websites will help you with it.

Characteristics of Best Dating Sites for Over 40

The industry of online dating has developed tremendously, and now there even free dating services for over 40. All of them are different, with their strong and weak sides. It is necessary to define whether a over 40 website is good or not. That is why there are some common standards that the best dating websites for over 40 must match. Some features are very common, but they also must be implemented in a proper way. Here is their overview.

Easy to Use

An over 40 dating website should not be complicated. It must have a simple infrastructure that every new member will be able to easily use. With well-thought-out website design, even not tech-savvy users will be able to easily find future husbands and wives.

Free Registration Process

Registration should be free. It allows new members to try the service and decide if to continue or not. In addition, in enlarges the number of members, thus improves the chances of perfect matching. The sign-up process also should not be able to be done through social networks as it may lead to leakage of personal information. It is also should include verification by email to decrease the number of fake accounts. Most scammers do not want to waste much time, and email verification can be a small obstacle to a part of them.

Well-Thought-Out Questionnaire

It is common knowledge that it is difficult to write about yourself from scratch, and this can disinterest new members for further over 40 dating steps. As a solution, there are questionnaires. Most internet users like answering different questions about themselves instead of writing personal info. It allows to quickly fill in important information. Hence, over the forties dating sites develop their own questions to save users’ time and make it easier to find people with the same interests. They are not obligatory. You can skip this process and provide information about yourself later when you would like to.

Communication Tools

Probably, the most important thing in the over 40 dating process is communication. On the best over 40 dating sites, you should be able to express your emotions and feelings, which means that sending only emails is not a solution. There just must be tools for communication, such as:

Live Chat With Instant Messages

The possibility of chatting in real-time greatly improves the relationship between people.

Voice Calls

Talking is very important as you can hear most of the emotions and understand how a person reacts to what you say.

Video Calls

Real-time communication with video helps to see if all the photos are too altered and how a person looks like. It is recommended to have at least several video calls before meeting offline.

Translation Services

Mostly members communicate with someone from a foreign country. It means that they may not know some common language. Therefore, the translation service will help to erase this language gap between people.

24/7 Customer Support

In case of some troubles, a customer support team should be there. It must be available 24/7 due to the fact that members from different countries live in different time zones. You may contact them for sure if you have some concerns like:

Registration process;

Suspicious behavior of a member;

Search tools usage;

Payment issues;

How to start a conversation and you need some tips on how to do that;

Amount of profiles.

Speaking of singles over 40 dating sites, you must understand that they have a vast network that attracts new users from all over the world. You can find members from oversees countries like the US, Canada, Australia, and Europe. It has become a wonderful community of single men and women. On such over 40 dating platform, it is much easier to find a person due to your preferences and create a lovely couple.

Profiles Quality

Over 40 dating websites can be rated by the quality of users’ profiles. They must include:

Photos of a person that are not fake;

Initial user info: name, country, age, nationality etc;

Self-description of personality, hobbies, world view, and favorite things;

Expectations from a future partner.

Additionally, some members may upload short videos about themselves

Premium online dating platforms check if the provided information is up-to-date and is not going to mislead other members.

Safety

The most important thing while using any kind of over 40 dating platform is safety. There is a special management team that checks if the members are likely to be scammers. It has turned out that most female accounts are used to deceive people. Even after registration and member validation, checkups do not end. Security team continues to monitor these users, and if any of them will ask for money, send spam, or behave inappropriately, they will ban this account. It is necessary to mention that over 40 international dating websites cannot guarantee 100% safety. Hence, they inform their members with what to do in case of fraud and suspicious behavior of members according to security guidelines.

Pricing

You should know that for most of the features on over 40 dating websites you will have to pay. However, you may forget about subscriptions. They proved their inconvenience as users do not spend most of the time that they have paid for. There is a new tendency of credit system where you buy specific currency on to find single professionals over 40. The most pleasant side of this system is that you will spend credits only when you use something. It does not bind you to the time, and you can use free over forty dating services when you want. Moreover, there are discounts for loyal members. Speaking of payment methods, you will be definitely able to use:

Visa

MasterCard

Discover

Maestro credit, debit, prepaid or gift card

PayPal is also available for some countries

Additional Services

Dating websites for over 40 often provide additional services to improve communication and relationships between members. They help to erase the borders between people, and it can be done by using:

Present Delivery Service

It can help you to express your feelings by sending a present to a person you like. This delivery service can make it even in a different part of the world. It takes up to 8 working days, and in the end, you will receive a photo report. Among the gifts that you can send are:

Toys

Chocolate

Perfumes

Flowers

Jewelry

Smartphones

Offline Dating Service

Over 40 dating service can help you to organize an offline date if the person you like also agrees. It allows being sure that the date will definitely happen. However, bear in mind that you will have to pay for accommodation and flight by yourself.

Exchange of Personal Contacts

This service allows both people to receive phone numbers of each other, so they can continue to talk outside the over 40 dating platform. It can be used only if communication is going well and the two are not against of doing this.

Best Free Dating Sites for Over 40

On the internet, you can find different best places to meet women over 40. However, these definitely match the above-mentioned features that indicate their high quality. You will not regret using them.

VictoriaHearts.com

Amazing over 40 plus places that will surprise you with the simplicity of usage. With quick registration, the initial questionnaire, and a powerful search tool, new members easily find nice people to talk and date.

Valentime.com

Wonderful over 40 international dating platform that has a high rate of women from Eastern Europe. It has an excellent 24/7 customer support that helps not only with some problems but also can help in online dating.

MatchTruly.com

This over 40 website is considered to be one of the best in quality of member profiles and safety. It has a long history of successful matchings of people from different countries.

Conclusion

Best Free Dating App For Over 40s

While searching for the best dating websites for over 40, you should remember all important qualities that they must have. This is how over 40 dating platforms can prove their usefulness and safety. Age does not matter; everyone deserves to find love.

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Table of Contents

Best online dating apps and sites for over 40 singles

When it comes to dating men and women over 40, many middle-aged singles might be worried about getting back into a relationship. Whether they are recently divorced or single, professionals focusing on their careers, or looking after kids, there are many reasons over 40 singles wait to date.

Whether you are a professional who wants to start dating or a divorced, single parent looking to try dating, there are options. Many people are dating with kids as well. You can also find matches for friendship, but of course romance and love are the focus.

Hitting your mid-life period doesn’t mean that your dating is done. There are now plenty of over 40 dating apps and websites, allowing you to enjoy 40+ dating like never before! Here are some of the best over 40 dating app / sites today:

OkCupid

OkCupid is one of the leading dating websites and apps for helping you to match with new, like minded users who are also in their forties. They offer free registration and a way to link in through Facebook as well, making set up your profile easier than ever before.

Filter your searches for a partner based on a variety of topics, such as interests, physical appearance, location, and more! You can also take the time to make meaningful connections via their chat and messaging and arrange dates with people who are a perfect match for you.

To top it all off, they offer an excellent app for anyone who is on the go and looking for a new dating relationship while still maintaining a busy lifestyle.

Match.com

One of the largest and best apps for people looking to start a new relationship with men and women across the United States.

Match is especially great for people who are looking to utilize the full extent of an advanced matching service, including filtering out the types of single over 40 people who they may not want to date. This means you can be specific about dating people who are focused on their careers, have children, or are looking to meet someone that shares a specific hobby.

EHarmony

Launched in 2000, Eharmony is one of the leading online dating services for serious relationships, especially with the over 40 crowd that wants to take the time to find true love with help from one of the best sites for dating.

Start a relationship on your own terms with the help of Eharmony, connecting people through the use of advanced filtering, profile creation, and some of best matching services on the market today.

They do offer free registration when you sign up, but you can only view your matches with this level of subscription. You will need a paying account to make use of all the features that Eharmony has to offer.

What to consider when you start dating in your forties

Dating in your forties means that you are bringing experience and baggage into a place where you may not be used to having both. Many things will be the same as when you were younger, but not everything.

For many, the big issue with dating in later life is that there may be children involved. While a partner having kids is a possibility, it shouldn’t put you off. If the family is welcoming, it can be a rewarding experience. Plus, children are especially good at giving you a signal if your match is truly good.

For people who are dealing with loss, there may be the issue of living in the shadow of the partner who’s passed on. Whether you do it to a date or they do it to you, the important thing is to remember that you should stop with this kind of comparison.

Ultimately, the relationship you share with someone will be different from the one they had. No better or worse, just different. And maybe even the best one.

Finally, you may also have financial concerns, particularly if you’ve been through a divorce. However, letting your money rule your love-life is a sure-fire way to scupper any future romance. Sometimes, you just have to roll the dice and see what happens.

What are Pros & Cons to middle-age dating?

Best Dating Site For Professionals Over 40

Pros

You’re far more likely to have similar interests and similar life experiences.

You won’t have to suffer never-ending conversations about the latest music, or which social media platforms are the best

You can concentrate on enjoying the important things in life for the two of you

Couples in their 40s tend to favor quality over quantity when it comes to sexual encounters

Cons

Odds are that you will have other obligations to look after, ranging from work to children

You may not always be your date’s priority, especially if they have kids

With Covid, traditional ways of meeting up and mingling are severely limited, so you both will have to adapt

People who date when they are older are likely to move things quickly, especially if there are kids involved. Sometimes this is okay, but it isn’t always the best way to move a relationship forward

What you can do to make over 40 dating successful

Making the world of dating work for you and being successful at it requires that you understand what you want and need out of a dating relationship from the start. If you are looking for love, then it will take time but be patient and with the right app you can make dating work.

Click here for more tips and guides on Over-40 Dating

You should understand that not every potential match you’re paired up with is going to be right for you. The best dating apps are a great way to get to know someone before you take the plunge and meet up, but there’s no need to compromise on what you want right from the start.

State your preferences from the outset. If you don’t want to date someone with children, then don’t beat about the bush: state it on your profile page. There’s no sense in being coy about what you want from your online experience and your honesty could well be seen as attractive.

Best Dating App For Professionals Over 40 2019

This will also help to make your dating experiences much better and far more successful.

Remember, if you’re convinced that you’re too old to start dating again, then you’ll likely self-sabotage your own efforts to find love. Avoid this. Other users looking at dating sites for over 40 singles are all at similar age to you and trying to enjoy dating. You can too.

Of course, be sure that you’re ready. If you’ve come out of a divorce, you might feel like diving back into the pool out of some sort of sense of injustice. Dating sites are there to help you find new love, not to try and exorcise the ghosts of a previous relationship.

Finally, be honest. Profile pictures can be misleading and if you manage to bag yourself a face-to-face date, you don’t want your match to find you unrecognizable. If you have wrinkles, have put on weight, or have gone bald, embrace it. There’s someone for everyone.

If you are unsure, you can also try to be friends with them over Facebook or try to reach them by email in a way that is outside of the dating site. This is good for confirmation that they are who they say they are, as well.

Why are dating services for the over 40 crowd working and on the rise?

You don’t need to see the popularity of dating for people over 40 on social media sites like Facebook to know that more people are enjoying online dating. Millennials in their forties have found sites and apps like OkCupid, Match.com, EHarmony, and even Tinder are the best way to date.

Of course, there are sites which help make these kinds of online dating service experiences more niche. For example, you could try Coffee Meets Bagel or Zoosk for niche dating opportunities with the 40+ crowd.

Part of what makes them so attractive is the fact that you can date online from the comfort of your own home. With Covid on the rise and such a threat, dating with a mobile app or on a website not only feels convenient, it’s safer too.

For anyone who is older, regardless of whether you want to find love, friendship, or a middle age romance that is flexible, online dating is the place to go. A good online dating service will help you to meet the person you can love.

You will meet a lot of millennials and people from all walks of life, including LGBT communities and others. These sites are great for making friends and finding out new things about yourself as well.

Thanks to advanced algorithms that pay attention to personality tests you fill out, as well as what you put into your user profile, finding a significant other to fall in love with has never been as exciting or as successful! Try the best over 40 dating sites and find true love!

Interested in Reviews for the following Dating Sites?

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seeklovenet · 2 years ago

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The 5 Best Dating Sites Within The Uk What I Learned

Without additional ado, right here is the fast list of the top three relationship sites within the UK. A few months ago, I logged on to the eHarmony website, but after a matter of a few weeks I found that for private causes, I did not want to proceed my membership. The group claims that I signed up for a particular interval and is demanding that I pay up for five months to have the ability to have my membership closed. I defined to them that as I was 89 years old, I had second ideas about my persevering with and that I was also in some monetary problem. They refused to simply accept my request, referring me to their "phrases and conditions".

The website allows you to describe your perfect match and then pairs you up with people who meet the outline. Most importantly, there aren't any pretend profiles, because of the various security measures the positioning implements. OkCupid is one of the best free dating apps in the UK in 2022 – it has 2.5 million users and is world.

Are Completely Free Courting Apps Worse Than Paid Ones?

You can choose between the free courting websites UK, or the traditional ones which supplies you benefits when you go premium. This article will discuss the five greatest dating websites UK and courting apps UK that can help you discover your good match. If you’re more comfortable with a website, you don’t have to decide on one that has an app, but if you wish to date on the go, just discover a platform that gives a well-developed app. Do what’s finest for you – because of this you have to choose the location that may fulfill your particular preferences. For example, you want to select a site that welcomes your gender and sexual orientation and whether or not it presents the individuals there meet your standards. The apps on this listing cater to all sexual orientations, but there’s additionally a more catered list of apps particularly for gay individuals.

Features — the quantity and high quality of offered features. The most unusual characteristic on eharmony’s site, and in my view the most effective one, is the system they’ve set up for Guided Communication. In four simple steps, you'll be able to set up a connection with another member. A renowned psychologist by the name of Neil Warren based eharmony. He has authored 10 books on the topic of affection and marriage, so he’s quite the professional. Eharmony has greater than 30,000,000 registered members across the world.

First Time I Tried A Relationship Website Efficiently

Well, that’s not the case with relationship websites – free sites and apps are more in style than paid ones and they produce great outcomes. Using a free app removes the strain from relationship – you can go away anytime with out having to cancel any subscriptions and with out feeling like you wasted your cash. The Telegraph Dating web site is amongst the finest totally free courting websites where you presumably can meet people with similar pursuits.

There’s an inbuilt behavioral matchmaking engine that learns as you click on to pair you with a single you’re most likely to be mutually seduced. Assessing the profile is simple; the algorithm sifts potential matches by character, habits, and pursuits. The Seeking app is a luxury relationship web site for profitable and attractive singles.

What Is Identification Verification?

I recommend that anyone wishing to have interaction this organization's services, do so with extreme warning. You have so many courting websites you'll have the ability to simply get misplaced. I tried several sites they have in the table and I personally did not like Lovestruck, it simply didn't work for me. The app supports the English language as lots of its users are Americans and are English-speaking people. First of all, there’re three million customers within the UK.

As we said, the eharmony web site is most suitable if you would like a long-term relationship. Furthermore, according to the site’s ‘Married Couples by the Numbers’ details, 71% of ladies and 69% of males meet their associate inside a year of getting into the location. To begin with, nearly one in 5 individuals in Britain know companions zoosk dating site review who join on a match using the Match.com web site. Under these circumstances, this can be a relationship web site that is aware of what it’s doing. In addition, if you get affirmation of your id, you’ll obtain a pin attached to your profile. Thus, this icon lets other members know that you’re who you say you're.

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shinra-makonoid · 5 years ago

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Wow you homophobe! Admitting to fooling real homosexuals into liking your feteshistic female ass. You DO NOT belong in these spaces. This poor guy signed in with the expectation to meet other homosexuals or bisexual MALES. Obviously he's going to assume you are one when you made it your life decision to imitate one. Homosexuals can be attracted to trans when they're under the impression they talk to a fucking normal person but thanks to you we have to learn signals to detect you to not get raped

Dude relax, that’s not like I’m going to go on a date with someone without telling them I’m a tranny. Having discussion with people isn’t rape. You may think I don’t belong in those space, fair, I got invited by two males on it though. One bisexual guy, and one homosexual guy. They even invited me to go on another app about it. I only go to see and talk to bisexual men on it. I must say, I’m not a fan of it, because they don’t look for romantic relationships, which is what I want. These days I’m more on Okcupid, but there’s a lot of brainwashed dudes on it, unfortunately. And on OKCupid, you’ll be happy, I put that I was a trans man, and that’s it.I’m a normal person.

I’m not responsible for people being attracted to me.

“At least when they don’t know they’re trans” ONLY when they don’t know they’re trans. There is no homosexual male that would involve himself with a trans"man" when he knows that’s a female and no lesbian would involve herself with a trans"woman" when she knows that’s a fucking male. And when they don’t know and a trans like you signs up on a website like this to coerce homosexuals into having sex with you they’ve become a victim of rape by deception. and what fucking rights? you a hetero female

Ahhh some development in the right direction. So homosexual people can be attracted to trans people. Talking about rape again though, I’m literally talking to people, and I’m not interested in sex on the first date, which, trust me, makes a whole lot of dudes go away already. I would absolutely tell someone before the first date that I’m trans anyway. Again, I don’t know for what you take me for, but that’s not it.

in a relationship with a het male or bi male (or a lied to homosexual because no one would willingly be with you when knowing youre a trans) does have no problems getting married and you sure as hell don’t experience homophobia. Heterosexuals like you are worst even worse than normal homophobes because on top of hating us you feteshize us.

Right. I can assure you that, since my ID card says that I’m male, I can have troubles to get married, and I do experience homophobia. I don’t fetishize anyone, that’s literally my actual life. If I would have been able to live as a straight woman, I would have. Hiding your sexuality, having people calling other people f*ggots in front of you, men being literally SCARED you’re going to hit on them or sexually harass them, and being fetichized by women, isn’t fun. All of that happened to me in the course of my transition.

#anon #ask #hate

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kj-journey · 5 years ago

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Burying It All

Healing has been messy. So so so messy. But that’s the beauty of it. Nothing is ever perfect, especially when it comes to healing. There is no timeline. You have to allow to heal yourself on your own time, but that’s always been my problem. I always just want to be okay - and I want to be okay now. But I have to step back, focus, re-evaluate, and let myself acknowledge my feelings to be able to move forward once more.

After my break-up with J, I signed up for Tinder and OkCupid probably a month after. I met N. He was cute, and we vibed well over text. We opened up. He had a bad break-up recently and was moving to the area. We met up after talking for three weeks. I was nervous. I didn’t know how to act; I hadn’t been out with another guy in over three years. We went to dinner then ended up having sex, cause he wasn’t ready for a relationship and we were just caught in that moment. I should have known I wasn’t ready for ALLA that because I got attached and felt empty the next day. We hooked up a few times because I was craving some sort of intimate connection and he was horny, duh. Two weeks later, he said he met someone he liked but was too fucked up to date her. We stopped hooking up because he liked her. BUT a few days after that conversation, we ended up hooking up one more time. He said that he had a lot of baggage and couldn’t go through with dating her. My dumbass even tried to help him with that situation when I should have been taking care of my own emotional well-being. After that, we stopped talking. (More like he ghosted me.)

And guess what? To get over that, I hooked up with a bunch of other people after. I met some pretty interesting people. I also met some toxic people. I had good sex, I had bad sex. But through the end of that, I was proud of myself for having sex and not feeling anything at all. But was it really something to be proud of? Not feeling anything, ultimately just left me empty. Believe me though, I have nothing against casual hook-ups, do whatever you want as long as you’re safe and happy. But I wasn’t being safe and I didn’t care about myself when I look back at it. I just thought it was good for me, but it wasn’t. I was an empty shell just trying to forget and bury so many emotions and insecurities. The physical pleasure was nice, but it only could last so long. Eventually, I wanted more. I wanted more and I wasn’t even ready for more. But I kept telling myself I was okay. I’m okay. This is okay. It’s all okay.

I wasn’t.

#heartbreak #healing #health #love #self-love

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nigerianrecruitment-blog · 7 years ago

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OkCupid Account Sign up | OkCupid Registration Via www.okcupid.com

Review : OkCupid Account Sign up & Login | How To Create OkCupid Free Dating Site Via http://www.okcupid.comm OkCupid is one of the universally recognized online dating site, the best place to start your first online dating experience, because of its good reputation and endured popularity over the years. Searching for your other half? this is the best place to visit and they ever forget to thank…

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dxmedstudent · 6 years ago

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Dx, which dating website/app have you been using? I’ve only ever used tinder/bumble, which while popular...I feel hasn’t worked very well. All your hints and tips have been super useful about dating! Just wondered if you thought there was any difference/ importance as to what you use.

I’m a big believer that different sites work for different people. We all have different ways of relating to people and socialising, after all! So if a particular site or app doesn’t work for you, you could always try something else. I also think, based on what I’ve read and heard, that just how the sites are populated depends a lot on where you are. So you can do your research online, but you might have to learn through experience which sites work best where you are. You’ll have to take my advice with a pinch of salt; I can only speak as a woman who happened to be looking for a guy in my specific area. It could well be that if you’re somewhere else, or male, or LGBTQ, or don’t want quite what I want, that my experiences might be less useful. There are some interesting articles out there that compare sites, but I know a lot depends on your own circumstances.

Whilst I was on the site, I didn’t want to say which one, for personal safety and anonymity reasons. And also, I didn’t really want to advertise any one particular service just because I happened to use it. But I’ve decided now that I’ve come off the site, I can say that I was using Match, though I’m sure they all have their good points.

I deliberately chose a well populated site, because I thought a bigger user base would be pretty useful, but also I wanted to specifically use a paid site. Because I felt that a lot of the problems associated with dating sites (dick pics, creepiness, abusive replies) are exacerbated by the feeling of anonymity and a service being free. I reckoned that if people have to pay to make the most of a site, they’ll be sufficiently invested in it to behave themselves. And also that people willing to pay money to use a service like this (when there are already free services) are probably reasonably serious about their intentions. Match is one of the sites with a reputation for people looking a bit more seriously. And it worked; no dick pics, and relatively little abuse. I did get ghosted, and lots of conversations that just didn’t go anywhere, but that’s part of dating, I guess. That said, I found no shortage of guys willing to have a decent conversation or have a first date, and I met someone I wanted to see more than once, so I’d say it worked as well as I could have hoped it would. It worked well for me because it lets you write a pretty long profile for yourself, so I felt like I could put enough of myself out there to attract people I had something in common with. And in turn, I felt I could really engage with profiles where people had written about themselves; you can get a feel for someone’s personality and sense of humor, if they’ve done it well. And it also lets you search by lots of criteria, too, so you can focus on looking through profiles that match what you’re looking for, rather than scrolling through tons of pictures of people you’ll never click with. As for the cons, I was really unenthused by all the options for ‘winking’ ‘favouriting’ and ‘viewing’ profiles; it encourages vague behaviour rather than genuine interaction. It used to frustrate me when some men would view my profile many times, wink at me etc but just not message; if I liked them I might have made a move, but if I didn’t, it left me in an awkward situation where I couldn’t reject someone but I didn’t exactly feel comfortable with their frequent low key stalking of my profile, either. They have an option where you can pay extra to choose what kinds of profile interact with you, but since I was happy to politely refuse, igore or block, it seemed unnecessary to pay for it. I also didn’t like that it tells people when you’re online; I just used to get bombarded by guys who happened to see I’d logged in and decided to start one of those ‘hi’ conversations, but they never really work for me. Sometimes I used to log in just to get rid of my notifications, and I like the option to mull over a message and write a nice, well thought out response when I’m free, rather than feel like I’m rejecting someone because it’s 1am after a long shift and I don’t want to chat. I preferred having long, meaningful message conversations, and I preferred to talk to people who’d clearly read my profile and engaged with it, it just felt more genuine somehow. When it comes to other apps/sites, I wanted to focus on one app at a time and use it seriously, but I considered all the options before picking one. If it hadn’t worked out for me, I would probably have added another, or switched sites. After a while, logically you’ll already have perused all the profiles you’re interested in, and either met/chatted and ruled each other out, or just won’t be interested at all, so I don’t think staying on one site for years is a good idea, unless there’s a lot of turnover. I could easily have signed up to eHarmony instead; it looks pretty similar in terms of its userbase and reputation for users who are looking for serious relationships.However, their way of running things seems to me like they control who you get ‘matched’ to, more. And I prefer to curate my experiences myself; I don’t like the idea of a site picking people out for me based on algorithms, I’d much prefer to pick for myself. I knwo all sites control your experience to a degree, but I personally prefer sites where that’s not an active selling point. I like the illusion of free will, even if it is just that. I think that if someone feels overwhelmed by choosing, eHarmony might be great, because they send people limited matches at a time, which seem to be picked based on answers to lots of questions. In contrast, I don’t actually believe the ‘matches’ Match sent me were matched at all, and I mostly ignored them in favour of curated searches and just looking up profiles of people who’d shown interest. Tinder would never work for me; I have difficulty telling faces apart. And whilst I can appreciate features, realistically speaking it takes a lot more than that to have chemistry with someone. If I’m having a good conversation, I’ll usually value that more than someone’s profile photo; because when you meet people, they often look and feel pretty different However, some people are very visual and need to feel attracted to a photo before they want to read a profile, or else they want to get to know people through chat and dates, rather than profiles and messages. Tinder also has a bit of a reputation for being a hookup app, at least here. That doesn’t mean that you can’t find someone serious on it, though it might just be a bit harder if the clientele are often expecting something else. But, other people swear by it, so I’m sure it works for someone.OKCupid is pretty popular, and it’s free. I didn’t like the idea of answering lots of questions, I much prefer freetext typing a profile that reflects me. And I didn’t want to rule people out too easily. A lot of dating sites like having discrete tags for you to choose from, because it makes the site more searchable. I get the impression Plenty of Fish sounds like it is even more of a mixed bag; I heard that there are lots of people on it, but without the abiltiy to apply filters to find what you’re looking for, it’s easy to get swamped. I’m sure some people have success on there, though. I’ve heard good things about Coffee Meets Bagel, but I wanted to focus on one site/app at a time. And I’m not sure I like their policy of sending very few ‘matches’ at a time. I am quite a busy person, who worked best on the app in short bursts wherein I reviewed lots of profiles, which I had to because most people just won’t be what you’re looking for. If a site is only letting me access a very small number of profiles, they’d better be VERY well chosen. But even so, I’d much rather choose for myself.I’ve never looked seriously at apps like zoosk or the newer, less well-known ones. I really don’t like the idea of dating sites that are integrated into your social media presence or physical location; that’s a huge deterrent for me, especially from a safety and privacy perspective.

I did consider the Gardian’s dating app; I’m a left-leaning person, and I reckoned that I’d find a fair few people that might be similar enough to me, given that I’m in the Southeast. I heard from junior doctor colleagues that the users on that service were predominantly ‘media types’. Despite that, it’s a service I might consider if I needed to use a dating site again sometime in the future.

I think Bumble works well for ladies who like to make the first move, and guys who are secure enough in themselves that they appreciate women making the first move. It might decrease unwanted messages. I just wasn’t sure I was ready to shoulder starting all conversation starting; I did message guys first sometimes, but I prefer to be messaged first, because it allows me to gauge someone’s level of interest and intent. For me, exchanging messages is an important way of workingout not only if you’ve got something in common, but also whether somene is willing to put in That said, it sounds like it attracts serious

There are some apps that are… gimmickier. I’d qualify for Elite Singles (being a doctor), but honestly, I didn’t necessarily want to tie myself to a site where people define themselves by being in a well-earning profession. I don’t believe I’m better than a postman or someone who is self-employed, and I don’t define myself by having a prestigious career or degree. And I’m wary of people who are conspicouously wealthy, because quite a few of them aren’t very nice. Having gone out in London, and mixing in educated circles, I’m no stranger to the kinds of entitled self-important person that feels their money buys whatever they want; including women. I’m not saying people who do well for themselves can’t be nice. I’m just wary of pinning my hopes on an arena where the emphasis is on financial success; that’s not what is important to me.

I’d never qualify for the ‘dating site for attractive people’, whatever it was called. I look nice enough, but I’m a perfectly normal person with no pretensions to superior attractiveness. And to be honest, I don’t think I’d meet an appropriate partner on a site where looks are your main selling point. Similarly, there are sites like Uniform dating, which aims to pair people who wear uniforms for peopel who fetishise that. But really, would I want to date someone who thought my main draw was my job? Hmm, probably not.

But in the end, I think most sites can work, if you find one that happens to work for your style of meeting people. One of my friends found a longterm relationship on Match, someone else I know got married to someone they met on Plentyoffish, and I’m fairly sure a friend of mine’s husband was found on OKCupid.I think it’s important to be as positive as possible, and try new things if the ones you’ve tried haven’t worked out. Sometimes it just takes a bit longer, or takes lots of tries. But it’s much harder to get anywhere if you don’t try, right?

#askdx #ask dx #dxdates #dx dates #dx's dating tips

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