#okay yeah cyrus you really need to shut the fuck up this time

[cyrusspam]

Have I ever mentioned how much of a sonic kinnie I am he’s so neurodivergent he’s so mecore

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

Our Angel of Brahma, pt. xii

No thoughts, head empty. I need a nap. @ananxiousgenz @ceaseless-watchers-special-girl @the-private-eye @demonic-panini CW for: assault of disabled character (mentioned)

Ms. Starr,

I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you per our last discussion. You are right. You are not my child, and I am not your parent. Thank you for correcting me. 

In regards to helping you restore the comms: I will continue to help you, but once I have run out of recordings, we are done. I look forward to the article you will be writing but do not wish to associate with you any further. 

In regards to our last conversation: I am unable to reach you through your comms. Every time I call or message you I receive an error message. If you have blocked me, I ask that you unblock me to make necessary communication between us easier. If something else has happened to your comms, please let me know so I know to only communicate with you through emails. 

Best Wishes, Frannie. 

Dear Frannie,

My comms broke. I am trying to save creds for a new one. Please email me. 

-Calypso Starr

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING BEGINS. IRIS: Go on! Say it again! BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (PROUDLY) This week on Brahma: after trying for nearly two years to prove the Rats are trustworthy enough, the Old-Timers have finally come around!  IRIS: More than that! I have supplies for the clinic again! BAIRD: We’re doing it! We’re doing it Iris!! SOUND: JUMPING AND FABRIC RUSTLING. BAIRD BREAKS INTO A BRIEF COUGHING FIT. IRIS(?) POUNDS THEIR BACK BEFORE LETTING OUT A SURPRISED YELP. IRIS: Oh! Oh! …Baird? BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (RASPING) Shut up and let me have this. SOUND: FABRIC RUSTLING. BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): You aren't my parent. But I'm glad you're here. I'm glad– I'm glad that if there's anyone I got stuck with, it's you. IRIS: Oh… of course. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for you. (A BEAT) And for whatever it's worth Baird, you've grown into a fine young man. BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (SNIFFLING) Thanks… SOUND: FABRIC RUSTLING. IRIS: This does mean you have to talk to Talia now about this. You want to include her in creating a messaging system and using the Brats, it’s up to you to pitch the final sale. And you know she won’t be happy.  (BAIRD SNORTS) BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Yeah, well, Talia’s never happy anymore. IRIS: Baird– for fucks sake, the Brat threw a rock at her! I would be pissed too.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): It happened two years ago! He apologized! They all did.  IRIS: Apology or not, she was still hurt by it. By them. Just because they apologized to her does not mean she owes them acceptance. And it doesn’t mean she has to tolerate them. Don't give me that look. You know I’m right and you just don’t want to admit it. BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Fine, fine… who are you gonna pick to help run the clinic? IRIS: Whoever volunteers first, and if no one does, then I’ll take whatever I can get. It’s going to be a lot of information and reading that they’re going to have to digest. The manuals Hanataba left behind are hefty and it took me and Cyrus together to lift them on the tables. It’s going to take a long time before I’m comfortable leaving it to someone else to run.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (SOFTLY) I understand. Really, I do. I’m not a little kid anymore. You have responsibilities to get back to finally. And if you gotta move back across town, that’s fine. I’ll be okay.  (A BEAT) IRIS: Come with me. You won’t be in the way, there’s plenty of Pests to wrangle all over the streets, and we could still go to the meetings together– BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): I can’t though. Josie takes care of the twins and Hank, Hank takes care of Talia and Mischa, and you and I take care of everyone. If you go, I have to stay.  IRIS: But– BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): You trust me and my decisions. You trust my judgment. I’ve grown into a fine man. IRIS: Young man, a fine young man.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (A HINT OF A SMILE IN HIS VOICE) Yeah exactly. You trust me, so trust me with this. Trust yourself. If you go, I promise, I’m not going to die. IRIS: You better not, you still have another eleven years to go.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): So you’ll move? You’ll go? IRIS: I’ll– I’ll need to think about it. But it’s not a no.  (BAIRD HUMS) BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): How’d you and my dad even get involved in the Hanataba Clinic in the first place? IRIS: It’s kind of a long story. Put a pin in it for now and wait until we’re home, debriefed with the others, and had dinner, alright? BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Fine. IRIS: I know you don’t see the harm in it, but the streets have ears. It’s dangerous out here.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): I know, I know… SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS.

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS AGAIN. NEXT RECORDING BEGINS. IRIS: Really? You’re going to record me? BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Of course! Me and the rest of the galaxy are dying to know: how did Iris Desrosiers come to work at a Hanataba Clinic? Why choose to work full-time in a Hanataba Clinic, when you don’t get paid for it?  (IRIS LAUGHS) IRIS: It’s not all that interesting. I needed a home after dropping out of university. I met Eve and Cyrus, and Cyrus introduced me to the clinician at the time, Mister Regis. Regis put me to the test, I passed, he passed away, and someone had to take over. The Revolutionaries were far and few apart. There was no organization back then. When Regis died, some people wanted to tear apart the Clinic. Strip down it down to its bones leaving nothing but the floorboards. In times of need, desperate people will do anything to save themselves or the ones they love. Including demolishing Hanataba’s Gift.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): But the clinic is still standing.  (VERY HOPEFUL) You convinced them otherwise. IRIS: I wish I could say that I did, but I didn’t. Your parents moved across town when Eve got her job as a Dome Warden. Cyrus kept coming back to help me fend people off from robbing the clinic. I was young, dumb, and way in over my head. Cyrus could hardly read the books so I spent a lot of time reading out loud to him.  Whenever someone got hurt, Cyrus would take them to me after doing an initial patch job. With a few years, I became part of the community. I established myself as a well versed caretaker. As someone who could be trusted to operate Hanataba’s Clinic. The thieving stopped. I was welcomed in the local Revolutionaries and, in turn after Cyrus did too much begging, they welcomed him too. (SHORT PAUSE) I’m sorry Baird. My work at the Hanataba Clinic gave me a place to stay. It gave me a community that looked out for me and became my family. And I ended up stealing Cyrus away from you and Eve.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): You know I don’t hold that against you anymore, right?  IRIS: I know. But– BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Save it. We look back only to ensure we have not walked this path before. Not to bash one another over the head with our grievances. So stop your pity party.  (SHORT PAUSE INTERUPTTED BY IRIS SNORTING AND BREAKING INTO LAUGHTER) Don’t laugh at me! IRIS: I’m not laughing at you! I promise. I’m just thinking… how dumb I was to ever treat you like a child. I’ll take what you said to heart but you ought to do me a favor and take your own advice.  Charlie would want you to at least. And I bet if you started talking again to Talia she would too. BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Ugh, don’t remind me about that. I don’t even know where to begin with her.  IRIS: Conversations usually start with a greeting. Maybe start there.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): And what do I do about Hank? IRIS: Leave him to me. We all wants best for each other. Josie and I can make him come around.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Thanks, Iris… Thank you.  IRIS: Of course, Baird. So long as I’m around, I won’t let you fight battles on your own.  SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS. 

Iris talk a lot about themself. For a life that “is not all that interesting” it sounds pretty damn interesting. 

The Galactic Civil War was still happening at the time of Peter Nureyev’s Revolutionary Stunt. Baird was 12 when that happened. I remember when the War ended, I was 13. They served cake and brownies at school that day. I took mine home to share with my mom, but she threw them away without ever telling me why. I think I know why you did that now. 

“Another eleven years to go” referring to Iris promising to get Baird to see past 40 (“Iris”)

FOLLOW UP: This puts Baird at about 29? 

“Decade”/”The Rats” at 27

Two years, not talking to Talia

“Hanataba” would put him at 29.

??????? I want to bash my head into the wall.

Baird and Talia stopped talking. At least some point in the last two years between this recording and the one prior (“The Rats”). 

Baird doesn’t call Iris his parent. I don’t think he needs to though. They’re parent enough to him without the title. 

“Conversations start with hello” / “Conversations start with a greeting” .... I do not owe Frannie an apology. And likewise, I do not expect one from her. Even if I did I will not receive it.

Questions:

How old was Baird when the Galactic War/Solar Intervention ended?

FOLLOW UP: How old is Iris? Eve and Cyrus? 

Iris knew Eve and Cyrus before Baird was born, what’s the story behind that?

Did Talia stop talking to Baird because he wanted to involve the Rats in the Revolution, even though they hurt her and Mischa?

Baird mentioned in the first recording "at least one person believes he built the Hanataba Clinic", where did this rumor come from? Perhaps the Rat that Iris ends up training?

[r0-boat]

so i sent in the team flare ask, and i realized that i meant to say they’re lack luster as an evil team which SUCKS because lysandre has a dope battle theme but messed up my sentence structure oops

but yeah lysandre is definitely the most memorable part of team flare — even if the first instance you meet him in the games he might as well just yell “HEY I’M THE BAD GUY”

team flare is def a bad rip off of team rocket but lysandre himself just reminds me of a bad rip off of cyrus

cyrus at least had some back story to explain his outlook on life — you can speak to his grandfather on route 228 in platinum. when he sees that you have the badge from sunyshore city’s gym. he’ll tell you that despite being a successful student, cyrus could never meet his parents’ harsh expectations of him.

an excerpt (you can find the rest online):

“my grandson grew up in that city by the sea. worn down by trying to live up to his parents’ expectations, he found refuge in tinkering with machines. i wonder even now if i should have taken him and raised him myself”

it’s implied that this childhood trauma is what led him down the path he takes in the games. it doesn’t excuse his actions at all but it makes him more understandable and human.

i won’t speak for others but lysandre just kinda annoyed me — he had similar-ish goals to cyrus but no real understanding behind his reasoning?

in my opinion, some of the best villains are those who aren’t aware of how they’re actually the bad guy. cyrus actually thinks his cause is just and we see in his backstory how enduring trauma and hurt during the key developmental years of his life (aka childhood and adolescence) caused him to go down that path.

i also think the best villains are also the ones that are relatable — cyrus growing up feeling rejected and like he wasn’t ever enough as a result of his parents is something a lot of people can relate to. having gone through something similar with one of my parents, i really understood that pain and i’m sure others do too.

lysandre just feels like a villain who is bad for the sake of it with his “keep the world beautiful” reasoning being so hard to grasp or make sense of?

anyways i’ll shut up now

cyrus is just my fav villain in the series and i think he’s cooler than people give him credit for

And I absolutely agree with you about Cyrus in Team Galactic but let me tell you in my opinion Team Plasma is Team Rocket done right!

I absolutely hate Ghetsis but I can't deny he is one of my favorite Pokemon villains.

God I fucking love Team Plasma, especially in Pokemon Black and White 2

In my opinion not only Team Plasma's (b/w2) costumes our overall 1 billion times better than what we had before and after Gen 5.

All their battles are so memorable how can you forget that jamming song that plays every time you battle a grunt.

You literally go from cultists to Sky Pirates What?!

And their motives... their motives weren't bad at first " liberate Pokemon from their poke balls" okay like somebody could totally see that as a good thing. Like Pokemon are stuck in small little orbs and they're supposed to be wild animals you know they need space to run around and some trainers are absolutely abusive.

But then later it wasn't about a liberating pokeballs it was about using Pokemon as tools to rule over the world.

In Pokemon b/w2 they mentioned that after an basically turned over to your side the group who chose to serve N and the ones who wanted power light gets us pretty much split and you actually see the conflict and in some cases fight alongside them which is *kiss* Noice!

Team flare was just very obviously a bootleg version of Team Rocket and

team yell which is even more obviously a bootleg version of Team skull but they washed and wrung out all of the things that made team skull funny and Charming.

Other than Team Galactic, Team Plasma always felt so professional if that's a word I could describe it. As if evil organizations was a business

Tldr: Team Plasma is my all-time favorite team. The fucking cool they have their own little Side Story. Cool ass music, cool ass boss fights. Gen 5 may have been a blur but Team Plasma will always be Unforgettable

[amor-immortalem]

I Think I'm OKAY

genre: Angst, hurt comfort

length: two parter

warning(s): Feelings of abandonment, self-depreciating thoughts, suicidal thoughts (briefly), feelings of not being good enough, feelings of being unneeded and unloved

A/N: its just been a day guys. And Ive been think about this all day so I just wrote to get tge thoughs out of my head.

this takes place a few months after the epilogue of Everything Undesired where Azalea is still coming to grips with the fact that she's not her father's heir like she always thought she had been. Mammon and Arella really did try to make time for her but things just never worked out in their favor and it ended up giving their daughter abandonment issues.

She’s lost. Not physically but mentally- Azalea doesn’t know where to go or what her purpose is. Ever since her older brother returned from where ever the hell he’s been her whole life, she’s felt more alone than ever before. From her parents being busier than ever helping Cyrus readjust to life here in the Devildom to her twin brother being curious enough about their new older brother to spend all his time trying to get to know him, no one has time for Azalea any more.

Whenever she tries to reach out to either her parents or her brother she gets blown off. It’s always ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t make it.’ or ‘I’m sorry, I forgot that was today.’ Forgot? How does one just forget about their child? And Azalea is sorry too. She’s sorry for existing. Maybe everyone is just tired of her. Maybe they didn’t need her anymore? After all, she was just her father’s back up plan. A back up plan. Yeah, it sounded as bad as it hurt- to think that’s the only reason he kept her around all this time. Despite how she might try, all she could ever do is fuck up. Why would her parents ever need a child like that?

She feels abandoned, unneeded. All she ever wanted was to make them proud- she pushed herself to maintain the perfect grades just for their praise. Hell, she’d even forced herself to take advanced placement and honors courses just for their approval but they hadn’t even noticed. And it’s not like she hadn’t tried to show them. The last report card she got in her last year of middle school had a note attached to it stating that when she entered RAD, she’d be welcomed into the advanced courses but of course they had been too busy to even look. Both of her parents assumed nothing had changed so they just didn’t need to see something they had seen hundreds of times already.

Why did they stop loving me? The half-demon thinks to herself, Was it all the fights? Was I not good enough for them? I wish I could make them happy the way my brothers do. I wish I was perfect like them, maybe then they wouldn’t have forgotten about me. Maybe I would still belong. What did I do wrong? Azalea can feel the tears dripping down her face. I’m crying? Again? Pathetic. People like me don’t cry.

She hurriedly wipes them away as she looks up at the stars that dot the night sky of the Devildom. She’s pretty high up on a rooftop. She wonders if a fall from this height might kill her or would it just leave her badly injured- the idea’s tempting. She’d come up here to clear her mind and sort out her feelings with how things had changed- how everything she thought she was meant to be had been ripped away from her, but it had just made things worse. She thought she was okay with all this change but after trying for months to find something new to do with the rest of forever, she found out the only thing she was ever any good at was getting into fights. Sure, she’d taken up sports on her uncle Beel’s suggestion but that led to even more pain when time after time, neither of her parents could be bothered show up.

Her phone lights up with a text from her father.

Dad:

Why weren’t ya at dinner today?

Azalea:

Why weren’t you and Mum at my meet today? Ya know like you promised ya would be?

Dad:

‘Zay c’mon don’t be like that. We said we were sorry but something important came up and we couldn’t make it

Azalea:

Sure whatever you say old man

Its what you always say

It's always something more important ain’t it?

Something more important than me.

Dad:

Azalea

Azalea:

Shove it old man. I don’t wanna hear it right now.

She always gets the short end of the stick. For parents that claim they care about her, they sure had a shitty way of showing it. As the family’s resident trouble maker, she’s not good enough for them. Whatever, she doesn’t even need them anyway. She deserves better than a family that doesn’t care. A family she no longer has a place in. And that was fine by her. Now that she’d finally admitted it to herself, she found it would be easier to ignore her entire family and live life depending on only herself.

With a shuddering huff, the girl shuts her D.D.D off and shoves it in her jacket pocket. She leaves the roof top, still in tears headed for the House of Lamentation.

------------------------------------------------------

“Arella, I have to go and find our daughter.” Mammon sighs as he gets his jacket on.

“She’s still upset about the track meet, isn’t she?” The black-haired human frowns “If you’ll give me a moment, I can ask Aurelius if he’ll watch Mahlon and I’ll go with you. This is something we should address together.”

“I don’t think we got the time to waste, Hon. She stopped respondin’ ta my texts and isn’t answerin’ her phone. If I don’t go now, she might so something to herself. I’ll be able to cover more ground quicker if I fly since she could be anywhere- even up high where we wouldn’t be able to see her that easily.”

“Then go on, I’ll talk to her when she gets home.” Arella nods as her husband leaves.

------------------------------------------------------

She enters her room through the garage door entrance. She really didn’t need to considering Azalea was the only one home currently. She knew Aurelius and Zulima would be gone for the rest of the weekend but still she locked her door to prevent any unwanted visitors- mainly her parents as she knew they’d probably come looking for her after the message she’d sent to her father earlier.

She looked over at the stack of unopened akuzon boxes- all gifts sent to her by her parents as ‘apologies’ for various things. Yeah sure, gifts were nice when they were for things like birthdays or Christmas but not when they were used as a way to placate her feelings when her parents missed things like track meets or science fairs or school functions that they promised they would be there for. It felt like a shallow apology so Azalea never opened any of them. They were starting to collect dust now.

Just because greed is her sin doesn’t mean its satisfied by material objects alone. There was more to it than that. Her sin specifically manifests with being greedy for healthy interpersonal relationships- things like money or material objects only did the bare minimum to help keep it under control and satisfied. She wanted her parents’ attention and only that so when they failed to keep their promises, it hurts her deeper than either of them understands- Azalea doesn’t even have the words to describe how it hurts her.

As she plops down on her sectional and flips on the projection of stars and constellations from the human world to calm herself down, she thinks about the way her greed is eating her alive as she turns on some music- a song her friend from the human world showed her called ‘I Think I’m Okay’. It was a song she really related to for some reason. As the song plays on loop, she thinks about how when she was younger- before her youngest brother was born- she was always of healthy weight and body condition. Nowadays with the lack of ability to satisfy her sin, she was just skin and bone. Despite eating constantly, she always feels like she’s starving and she’d be lucky if she weighed in at 90 pounds soaking wet- all of it coming from the weight of her bones and muscle. Her body is just burning through everything too fast and at this point Azalea doesn’t know whether or not she even has the energy to waste to transform into her demon form anymore.

The half-demon hears a faint knock at the door. Maybe if she doesn’t answer then whoever it is will get the hint and go away. As she watches the door open, a scowl appears on her face. Of course her father would pick the lock on her door. She doesn’t know why she’s even surprised right now. He never knows when to leave well enough alone.

“We need to talk...” Mammon says as he sits down on the couch next to her.

“I don’t wanna. Get lost.” the teenager rolls on to her side away from her father.

“Too bad. I’m not leavin’ until we do.”

“Then prepare ta die in here cuz I refuse.” She can’t let him fool her into accepting his apology when she knows full well he doesn’t mean it.

“You really are just like your ma sometimes- stubborn as all get out.” He sighs. “I see ya never opened yer packages. Why?”

She continued to ignore him. How can she get out of this? Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could fool him into thinking she was asleep.

Just get frustrated and leave already. It’s what ya always do when I won’t talk to ya.

She waits an hour, two, three but still he doesn’t leave.

Man is this getting annoying! Why won’t he just give up and go home already?

“Well, since ya won’t talk, I will. Ya know, Mom and I really are sorry we couldn’t be there this afternoon... I know you’re upset about it but we got called to an emergency meeting at the castle and we... kinda... forgot what time it was by time we were done.  I know we don’t have a lot of time to spend with ya anymore but things are just so crazy right now... it’s difficult and when ya act like a brat like this it doesn’t make things any easier.” And Mammon realizes too late that he’s said the wrong thing and put his foot in his mouth.

“Right... cuz that’s all I am is a spoiled brat...” Azalea can’t help the way her voice quakes. “I’m a brat because I asked for you and mum to pay attention to me over the boys just this once and you two let me down and now, I’m getting blamed for being as upset as I am. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.”

“Azalea, that’s not what I meant and you know that,” Mammon places his hand on her shoulder to turn her over and is shocked when all he feels is bone and muscles that are beginning to atrophy. “What are you doing to yourself? Yer nothin’ but skin an’ bone, Baby.”

“I’M NOT THE ONE WHOSE DOING THIS TO ME!” she roars as she hops up from the couch. “IT’S YOU TWO. YOU’RE THE ONES DOING THIS TO ME!” and then her voice suddenly drops. “But you would notice that if you spent more than five seconds with me. My greed is eating me alive and it’s your fault. I’ve tried for months to get you or Mum to spend time with me and I get forgotten about every time because something ‘more important’ comes up or you also make plans with Aurelius or Cyrus and choose to do that over spending time with me. It’s either that or you both choose Mahlon over me and it’s literally killing me. I get that they all need you guys too and I’m not more important than them but it feels like they’re more important to you than me. And I hate it because...” She lets out a sob as she sinks to her knees, “Because you two are the most important people to me.”

Mammon looks at his daughter with a horrified look on his face. His only daughter feels like she’s not important to them but she was right in a way. Both he and Arella had been choosing her brothers over her- not intentionally but he can see why she would come to that conclusion. This was a very crucial time in her life having had everything she thought she was taken away and she was lost with no clue where to go. He and her mother should have been right by her side, helping her find a new path in life this whole time but instead they got so wrapped up in work and other things that now their daughter was suffering the consequences.

“No, baby that’s not true.” The demon says as he wraps his little girl up in his arms. “You are so important to us too.” He rubs her back as he rocks her back and forth, “We love you so much and I’m so sorry we haven’t made ya feel like that. We’re gonna do better from now on. I promise, okay?”

Azalea is hesitant to nod. How many times had she heard the word promise and then had that promise broken but even now as she’s wrapped up in her father’s arms, she’s starting to feel the overwhelming weight of her sin slowly start to go away. She just rests her head against his chest as her puffy teary blue to gold eyes start to slip closed ever so slowly.

“Sweet dreams, Princess.” He says as he runs he hand through her hair and places a kiss to the top of her head.

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Find more on my masterlist

[thewarriorshomegirl]

ALRIGHT SO I CANT WRITE ENDINGS TO SAVE MY LIFE, SO YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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This is just a little some I wrote because I couldn't get the headcanon of Cowboy being afraid of water out of my head. Enjoy :3

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"Let's get out of here and do something fun for once!" Vermin demanded, throwing the cards in his hand on to the table in front of him. Cochise and Ajax gave him a questioning look, but before either could ask what the fuck he was talking about, he finished his statement. "And I think that should be swimming!"

"Not a chance." Cleon spoke up, walking over to the male with his arms crossed. "We can't afford to let our guards down. You know the other gangs have been breathing down our necks lately."

Vermin huffed, pouting a bit. "Cone on Warlord. We can just go to the beach for a few hours and make it back. Besides, no one would even be on our turf. We have scouts all over the place man!" He tried to reason with Cleon, a small pleading look on his face.

"We have been cooped up in here for a while now Warlord," Swan spoke up, everyone going silent at his words and staring at him in surprise. Was this their Swan? "What? I'm just saying that we have been in here for too long, just waiting for something. Tension has been high these past few days anyway. It may be needed."

Cleon clicked his tongue at Swan's words, all eyes going back to him. "I guess you got a point," He sighed, knowing he'll probably regret this. "Alright. We can go down to the beach for a few hours."

Those words sent almost everyone into cheering. Even Snow who only showed emotions during special times cracked a little smile. Everyone was excited.

Except Cowboy.

Cowboy sar there, digging his nails into the palm of his hand to keep himself calm. Who was he to ruin his brothers fun and excitement? His eyes went over to the youngest of the group, Rembrandt, who looked as if he had just taken five cans of flash back to back. Watching him, he couldn't help the little smile that came to his lips. Maybe it won't be so bad after all.

...............

He was wrong.

This was terrible.

Cowboy stared down at the water as it engulfed his feet. Why did he agree to come? He should have stayed back and scouted. He couldnt do this. The memories of his childhood immediately flashed through his mind. The feeling of the water swallowing him whole, taking his air away from him painfully slow. Being alone underneath the water. No one to help him. His eyes had gotten heavy and he finally just accepted it and let his eyes shut. The next thing he remembered was being surrounded by people he didn't know and was coughing up water.

So yeah, the beach wasn't his favorite place in the world.

Thankfully, before Cowboy could completely let his memories devour him, a hand on his back pulled him back to reality. He turned his head, being met by Rembrandt's soft smile. He was wet from head to toe, his once big and tall 'fro, now curly and plastered to his head.

"You can't go swimming with your hat, you know." Rem stated softly, slowly removing his hand from the older one's back.

Cowboy let out a soft chuckle, reaching up to adjust his hat. "Yeah, well.. I didn't really plan on swimming." He admitted, earning a frown from the younger male.

"You weren't? Why not?" Rembrandt asked, a small pout forming on his lips. Why didn't his friend want to swim? Was he ashamed of how he looked without a shirt? Now that he thought about it, Cowboy was one of the three who did wear a shirt under his vest. Before he could stop himself, his gaze fell to Cowboy's chest and stomach for a few moments before he looked back at him, cheeks heating up a bit. "Well... Do you want to go walk down the beach with me? I dont want you to feel left out."

Is Rembrandt checking me out? That was the first thought that Cowboy had when Rem's gaze shifted to his body. He didn't have much time to react to that and he almost didn't process the question before nodding. "Yea-Yeah, sure. Let's go." He said softly.

The two headed down the beach, Cowboy walking along where the water stopped and Rembrandt walking in the water, lightly kicking his feet as he did.

They ended up a good distance away from the group and Cowboy was actually enjoying the peaceful silence from the other guys. He was almost startled when Rem suddenly spoke.

"Are you afraid of the ocean?"

The question made his blood run cold and his face flush. "Wh-What? No! Why would I be? I have no reason to be afraid! I love it! It's amazing! It's-" He was shut up by Rembrandt's hand suddenly being placed against his mouth.

"It's okay if you are, Cowboy."

The softness of Rem's voice made Cowboy begin to relax a bit. He closed his eyes as the hand was removed and then nodded. "I hate it," He said softly. "But I didn't want to ruin anyone's day... Especially yours." He said, opening his eyes to look down at Rembrandt. "You seemed excited to come."

Rembrandt listened to him attentively and shook his head. "Cowboy, you wouldn't have ruined anything," he said. "Everyone would have understood if you didn't want to go. You didn't have to force yourself to come." He looked over to the other guys. "You wouldn't have even had to admit it to them. Just said that you didn't want to. They would have understood. Well... Ajax probably would have called you a pussy, but who cares?"

Cowboy let out a laugh and shook his head. "That's definitely what he would say." He smiled softly as he looked at Rembrandt. He didn't know why, but... He felt compelled to tell him why he hated it. "I almost drowned as a kid. Fuckin' terrifying at first then... it turned peaceful. I would like to be able to go swimmin' and shit again but..." He sighed. "I'm scared." This was the first time he ever admitted that he was scared of something to someone. Sure he's been worried before, like with Cyrus' meeting and all, but thats different from being scared.

Cowboy's thoughts were once again interrupted by Rembrandt's soft hand sliding into his own. He looked down and was met with a soft smile.

"Well, you dont have to be scared when I'm around. I won't let anything happen when we're here." Rem spoke softly, earning a small smile and a nod from Cowboy.

"Thanks Rem." He said, letting their fingers lace together.

Maybe the beach really wasn't that bad.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Alright, so, the spacing is fucked up. Im sorry. I dont feel like fixing it right now lol.

I went through a lot of thoughts when trying to write this as of whether or not to make CxR a couple through the whole thing or not. Sooooooo let's just say that its up to yall lmao.

[fletchphoenix]

Sweet As Sugar, Right As Rain

Chapter 3 of the Varigo Coffee Shop AU! Yay! Thanks so much for all the support I’ve been receiving on this fic, I’ve enjoyed writing it so so much! It’s just been amazing (considering this is my first time EVER writing a fic so aha, I really appreciate the support!) Enjoy! <3

Word Count : 3809

TW - Strong Language

---------------------------------------  

  Sunlight beamed through the windows, the rays penetrating the temporary shield of his curtains and straight into his eyes. Hugo let out a loud groan and raised his arm to shield his eyes from the blinding light, however his attempts were futile. He resorted to pulling the emerald sheets over his head with a groan. Birds outside had other plans however, singing and tweeting right outside his goddamn window to ensure he couldn’t go back to sleep. Hugo shoved the sheets back in frustration, kicking them off him and letting them fall into a bundle on the floor. “Note to self. Buy some shutters.” he muttered, propping himself up on his elbows and reaching out for his glasses on the bedside table. 

  As everything came into focus, he took a second to look into the mirror. “Holy fucking shit.” he complained. Blonde locks jutted out in every direction imaginable, sticking up unnaturally. “Okay then. Shower time.” he said to no one in particular, shuffling off his bed as it made a painfully loud creak once his weight left it. Squeaking and shuffling sounded from the cage across his room, catching his attention, and he glanced over. A smile quickly took over his face.

  “Olivia! Hey there girl.” he jogged over, sitting at his desk and opening the top drawer of his desk to take out a packet of sunflower seeds. He tipped a few out of the packet, examining them in his hand before placing them in the cage in front of her. She inhaled the seeds, chittering and scurrying around in the cage happily after her breakfast with an energy unlike any other he’d seen before.

  “Yeah, yeah. I get it. You’re excited. But I’ve gotta go get ready, sweetheart.” he muttered, moving to stand. He gave in to his urges at her pouty face (could mice even pout? He’d have to google it later) before reaching into her cage with his finger and running a finger over her smooth, golden fur. “Okay, NOW I’ve gotta go.” he told the mouse sternly, pushing the chair away from the desk and moving to his feet. Arms made their way above his head in a long stretch as he made his way through the tiny apartment to his bathroom. 

  He should be grateful, he thought, that Donella was kind enough to let him live alone, but god, this place was less than satisfactory. The window panes were cracked in their frames and never really shut properly - making winters like these with their incessant flurries of snow the worst in the world. Banging and screaming always sounded from above him, with his neighbours being possibly the most dysfunctional couple in the history of romance. The walls were paper thin too - he could hear whenever his frat-boy next door neighbour bought a girl round, dreading whenever he did, and he wasn’t even allowed to keep any real pets! It took MANY hours of seducing the landlord to be allowed to keep Olivia in the apartment with him. And don’t even get him started on the rip-off rent costs. Alas, it was home and he couldn’t bear to live with Donella again. She was a great woman, taking him in when he was young and supporting him, but she was terrible when it came to motherly duties and..it was pointless to expect that from her. 

  The bathroom wasn’t much to brag about, either. A lime mat covered most of the tiled floor with a heater barely peeking out under the mass of towels placed carelessly on top of it. Reaching out, he turned the handle and let the water run, so it could heat up gradually. He tapped his foot as we waited, checking his phone. 11:15am. Why did it feel like he was forgetting something? It was probably something Donella told him to do. She did that sometimes - springing plans onto him out of nowhere. As if he didn’t have a social life at all. So inconsiderate, he mumbled to himself. It didn’t matter anyway, the shower water already at the right temperature. He stripped out of his pyjamas and hopped in.

  After his shower, Hugo finished drying his hair, tied it up and quietly changed into a light yellow shirt, blue jeans and his signature green jacket. He loved that jacket dearly, it being one of the first gifts Donella ever got him that wasn’t second-hand. (“Your clothes look ratty,” she’d said, trying to suppress her soft smile with a hardened expression. “I got you new ones. Maybe now you’ll look even slightly presentable.”) At least she was trying, he’d told himself as he started to fix his hair in the mirror. 

  Once he was fully satisfied, he set his course for the kitchen. In the hall, he passed various framed posters on the walls along with newspapers and small sticky notes with his engineering questions noted down on them. (All green, of course, because what was he, a monster? He had an aesthetic to uphold and he was determined to do so, goddamnit!). Shelves also littered the wall - containing various books on topics like engineering, chemistry, biology and physics. Donella had given him them too, so he had something to read growing up and to entertain himself while she was away on her business trips with her friend, Ulla. Sure, she’d be gone weeks at a time, leaving Hugo with Cyrus to be taken care of, but at least he had someone there to take care of him.

  He trailed his hand to the doorknob and twisted it, pushing the door open and walking into the room. It was slightly bigger than the other rooms in the apartment - counters along the walls with a small table in the middle. A clock sat on the wall as well. 12:26pm. Why did it still feel like he was forgetting something? A string of curses left his mouth after he, in his distracted state, stubbed his toe on the chair, “Motherfucker! Ow!” he cried out and hopped awkwardly to the coffee machine which was, not surprisingly at all, fern green. 

  Hugo let the machine do its thing, taking the cup of absolute joy after it was done and adding some sugar. Black coffee was his saviour on a morning - especially after he’d had a party the night before. The bitter taste flooded his mouth and tickled his nose, him letting out a content sigh of happiness. This was it. The freedom he’d always wanted. He let the serenity of the moment relax the tension in his shoulders and allowed himself a moment where he could just be alone. 

  The moment was broken by a bleep on his phone.

  “For fuck’s sake..” Hugo muttered as he checked the time again. 12:47pm. Shit, had it really been that long? Oh well..not as if he had anything to do today. His eyes scanned over the text he had received. 

Cyrus : Hey bud. Have a good time on your date today. Remember - Donella needs you at the workshop by 17:00. Don’t be late.

  Shit.

  He’d forgotten. How had he forgotten he was meeting up with Varian? He was such an idiot! He’d scored a date with the most handsome boy on the planet and somehow he’d forgotten! In his panic, Hugo tipped the coffee down the sink and rushed to the door...stubbing his toe again and slipping over. “FUCKING CHAIR!” he yelled and scrambled to his feet, scurrying and sitting on a step to lace up his shoe. His wallet and keys sat on the table by the door, his hand hurriedly scooping them up, shoving them into his pocket and racing out the door.

  Lungs gasped for air and burned as he sprinted down the street, dodging people on his journey to the coffee shop. The sun shining in the sky was deceiving, the bitter winter air biting at the back of his neck. He should’ve bought a scarf. It was too goddamn cold out here - the December airs howling past his ears. He should’ve bought his headphones too. Oh god, he hoped Varian hadn’t bailed on him. 

  He fell through the doorway, gulping at the stares he received as he made his way through the people in the shop in search of one boy in particular with the beautiful blue streak in his raven hair. He stuttered apologies before his eyes found what he was looking for. Making his way over, he began to apologise. “Hey hairstripe, sorry I’m late. I was-”. His words died out as he made his way closer.

  There, in the same booth as before, sat perfection in its finest form. Varian. His azure eyes were focused outside, gazing and half lidded but looking at nothing in particular. His ebony hair blew slightly in the slight breeze created by the fan in the shop, with the blue streaks sticking out against it. Freckled skin had a slight shine to it from the sun’s rays that provided perfect lighting and bringing out his soft features. His cyan sweater complimented the rest of his outfit, the headphones hanging around his neck matching the colour of his sneakers. It was like a movie scene - absolutely perfect. His mouth felt dry as the boy turned his head and gave him an excited smile and Hugo could swear he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of it. 

  “Hugh! Hey!” Varian said, waving his hand and watching Hugo as he moved to sit in the booth opposite him. “It’s fine, you don’t need to apologise. I got here early anyway so I was just listening to some music.” he added onto the end, leaning against the table with a grin on his face. “Love the jacket by the way, really compliments the shirt.” 

  “I-thank you. I could say the same for you though. That sweater really brings out your eyes. And your hair.” he reached out his hand, running the strands between his fingers before pulling his hand away. He let out a chuckle at the sight of Varian’s flushed face, eyes fixated on the younger male as he tucked his hair behind his ear and fiddled with the hem of his shirt stuttering out explanations. “Hairstripe, calm down. It’s just a compliment. Anyway, what do you want? The drink is on me.” 

  “Oh, um -a vanilla latte again. Please.”

  “Don’t miss me too much.” he grinned with a smug expression, laughing when Varian pushed him playfully before walking off to order. He let out a content sigh and glanced back at Varian as he ordered their drinks. The boy in question was playing with his hair as he read a chemistry textbook that he must’ve placed on the table when he left. He looked so beautiful, just sitting there without a care in the world. Hugo could just watch him forever, a red tint starting to build on the tips of his ears and cheeks as he realised just how long he’d been staring. He tore his eyes away from the breathtaking boy near the window and brought his attention back to the barista.

  “Vanilla latte and black coffee for Hugo?” the chestnut haired girl questioned, placing the drinks on the side and allowing Hugo to pick them up. He nodded graciously, flashing her a smile before returning to his seat. Leaving a $5 tip in the jar on the way, he sauntered back to the table with the drinks in hand and a smile on his face. 

  “Lord Varian, your drink has been served by your humble servant. I am forever in your debt.” he laughed and sat down opposite the boy again as he pulled his drink close to his chest and took a sip. Hugo looked out of the window with a smile, eyeing the people walking past in the freezing weather, holding hands with their loved ones and cuddling them close to ward back the December breeze. He wished he could do that with a certain obsidian haired boy sitting across from him reading a chemistry textbook like the adorable nerd he was. “So. How’s your week been? I saw you were in the library yesterday. You did look great by the way.” He smirked and winked in his direction.

  “Oh! It's been fine, Hugh. I do tutoring with Nuru on Wednesdays. We look after the sweetest boy in the world called Yong. He’s seriously the smartest kid I’ve ever met, but he gets so nervous to show it, y’know? And Nuru...god, she’s an amazing girl! Intelligent, yes, but just so mature and caring towards everyone! She’s a sweetheart really. How about you? Why were you there yesterday?” Varian asked quizzically, giving Hugo a little head tilt that made his heart soar. Fuck, he loved this boy. 

  “Me? Oh well, I was just picking up some books and doing some studying. I have an essay due in a few weeks and I just needed to look up some things.” he lied through his teeth. It was TOTALLY not because he wanted to see the other teen again before their date. Nope. No way. Nuh-uh. 

  “If you want me to, I could help you with your-”

  “NO!” He yelled out, leaning forward against the table before flushing red and moving back into his seat, composing himself and tapping his leg rapidly to calm himself down. “I’m sorry, I uh-I think I’ll be fine on my own. Thanks for the offer though.” he chuckled awkwardly, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Sorry...I’m just really awkward.” he apologised, sliding back in his chair and covering his face with his hands. Great. Perfect. Absolutely swell. He’s just embarrassed himself in front of the boy of his dreams like an absolute idiot. If whatever god there was could just strike him dead right now, that would be fan-fucking-tastic-

  A giggle followed by laughter and snorts broke him out of his spiral of self hatred. Varian’s hands wrapped around his wrists and gently lowered them, the most loving smile Hugo had ever seen plastered on his face as he dealt with the aftershocks of his laughing fit. “It’s okay. It was cute.” the boy commented, Hugo’s face twisting into a smile as well before joining him in his fit of laughter. 

  They must’ve looked like a strange pair - two boys laughing so hard they were in tears at a coffee shop in the middle of December, but neither of them cared. They were happy and that was all that mattered. Both took a sip from their coffees as they kept their eyes locked on each other. “Yep.” Varian thought, “Coffee does taste better when I’m drinking it with Hugo.” he concluded. He shuffled over in his booth, allowing Hugo to slide in beside him and look at the textbook to help with his questions. 

  Hugo tried his hardest to ignore how close Varian was, but after a few hours it became harder and harder to focus, with their shoulders pressed against each other and leaning forward with their eyes fixated on the book. A deep red flush developed on his cheeks yet again. Any closer and they’d be…Hugo tried not to focus on that, his gaze directing to Varian’s hand. He slowly and shakily took the younger’s hand in his own.

  Hugo turned his head to look at Varian, the younger boy coincidentally doing the same thing at the same time. Their noses almost touched, but both of them were too lost in the moment to bother pointing out the awkwardness of the situation, with Hugo intertwining their fingers under the table. “Hugo?” the younger whispered. Hugo could feel the tantalizing breath on his lips, intermingling with his own. Just a little closer. He tilted his head, leaning in and..

 His phone rang.

  Hugo snapped back to reality and moved away from Varian, letting go of his hand, much to both boy’s disappointment, and picked up his phone to answer it. “Hello?”

  “Hugo.” Donella’s rough voice replied, and boy howdy, did she sound pissed off. He was in trouble for sure this time. “It's 5pm. Where the hell are you.” she growled through the phone.

  “Shit, Donella I’m sorry. I forgot all about the time. I’ll start heading over now, I promise-”

  “Hurry up then.” she commented before hanging up, leaving no time for discussion. Hugo turned to see Varian - the hurt on his face wounding Hugo’s heart. A kicked puppy would probably look less hurt than the boy did in that moment. And he put that look on his face. He really was the worst wasn’t he? 

  “Hey-write down your address. I’ll pick you up at 5 next Thursday-” he began to say, Varian’s face twisting in confusion before grabbing a napkin and handing it to Hugo. “Alright, I’m sorry to cut this short.” he sighed and gathered his things together. Hugo turned to leave, before he felt a hand grab his wrist and a kiss was placed on his cheek. 

  “Thank you.” Varian looked at the floor, his face flushed red however a smile was still evident on it. Hugo’s mouth felt dry yet again as he froze for a second, a now all too familiar heat covering his face. He nodded in response and headed out the store, where he immediately leant against the wall and placed a hand on his cheek. 

  “Holy fucking shit..” he whispered to himself. “I’m in love with Varian Ruddiger.” He let himself get lost in the moment before another bleep reminded him of where he had to be. Shit. He started sprinting down the street, his path illuminated by streetlights as he passed them with a smile on his face. Well…

Next week was gonna be interesting.

  He opened the door to the workshop Donella ran, passing her henchmen as if they weren’t threatening at all. They fixed their glares onto him - okay yep, he was definitely in trouble for being late. He pushed open the doors, putting on his smug facade as he made his way to Donella’s desk. “Hey Donella, I’m here.” he declared, placing his hands on the desk and leaning against it. “You needed me?”

  “Yes, I did.” she frowned at him and gave him her infamous death stare. He cowered back slightly before regaining his composure again. “I trust this won’t happen again..?” she questioned, a slight smile tugging on her lips at the frantic nod he gave. “Good. Now get to work. We have an important client who requested specifically for you to make his product so..get to it.” 

  He hurriedly left her office, heading to his workspace and pulling on his goggles and gloves. Sheesh, that woman could seem evil sometimes - he bet in her past life, she was probably a supervillain. Maybe in an alternate universe, she was. He let out a breathy chuckle, glancing over the blueprints. Hm. Looked difficult, but he could do it. He set the paper aside and began to work, the incident from the coffee shop still playing on his mind. 

He couldn’t wait to see Varian again.

  Meanwhile, Varian packed his things again and began his walk home. Was Hugo about to...kiss him? Did he seriously feel the same as he did? It made him feel giddy just thinking about the way Hugo’s cold hands felt against his warm ones, the closeness that made his heart pound and ache for more contact, the way Hugo leaned in and tilted his head...wow. Hugo liked him. And he liked Hugo. 

  He pushed open his door and, once again, fed Ruddiger before heading up to his room. The cat purred gratefully and ate before following his master, lounging across his bed as if he owned the place. The audacity of the fat bastard! “Sometimes I wonder why I feed you.” Varian wondered aloud, grinning as the cat meowed back and swatted V’s hand as he tried to pet him. “Ow! Okay! Geez, I get it!” he laughed before reaching over and grabbing his phone to see some texts from Hugo.

Hugo : Sorry for leaving so early, short stuff

Hugo : My mom needed me for something and I completely forgot

Hugo : But hey, next week you’ll have me all to yourself ;)))

  Varian scoffed and looked at Ruddiger, who he swore had a disgusted expression as he read the phone screen. “I know Ruddiger. Absolutely disgraceful, isn’t it?” He chuckled, but..deep down he knew he wasn’t opposed to the idea of having Hugo all to himself...He shut that idea down fast, typing out a sarcastic response as he tried (and massively failed) to feign annoyance.

Varian : You wish I’d want that, you twerp

Hugo : Oh I don’t wish, I know ;)

Hugo : also, V? 

Varian : What is it now, Hugh?

Hugo : Thanks for the kiss. Didn’t get the chance to say that earlier but..thanks

Hugo : Anyway, I’ve gotta go. Mom wants me.

Hugo : See you next week, sweetie <3

Varian : No problem, Hugo. See you next week =)

  Varian set his phone aside and sat up. He completely forgot. He kissed Hugo’s cheek. Oh god, please don’t make it awkward, he internally begged. He didn’t want things to become weird between them. He really...really liked Hugo and just didn’t wanna mess this one up. He changed into his PJ’s and shuffled under the covers, reading through their conversations.

  “Goodnight Ruddiger..” he muttered as he turned off the lights and closed his eyes, trying to drift off to sleep. He sighed in frustration and brought out his phone, turning it on quietly and typing out 3 words. 

Varian : I Love You

  His lips twitched into a frown as he stared at those 3 words. They held so much weight - had the power to change the course of his and Hugo’s relationship as soon as he sent them. He thought back to their meeting. Was he just being friendly? Did he just get distracted? Did Hugo actually like him? A hand reached up to run through his hair. What if he was just misreading the signs? 

  What if Hugo found out? What if he found out about all the terrible things Hugo had done? The people he hurt? How badly he messed up? Varian bit his lip so harshly the metallic taste of blood flooded into his mouth. Hugo would never love someone like that. Someone who did everything that he did. Tears he didn’t even know had developed fell onto his phone screen, to his surprise. He quietly set it down and wiped his eyes. Not tonight, he thought.

  Varian held his finger down, erasing the text and setting his phone aside. He tucked his knees into his chest and looked at the wall. He had to tell him one day. Not now, but one day. He slowly started to drift to sleep, the thought of their date still fresh in his mind and the remnants of a smile on his face.

[fleeting-sanity]

OC Talk #9

My OCs as 2020 songs.

There’s a LOT of releases this year but this is all I’ve listened to so far? Post is long as always.

PS: LOL I struggled to find suitable songs for some OCs that 2020 ended ahhaha I’m slow as always-

Aryuni

Rina Sawayama - Comme Des Garçons (Like the Boys)

Yeah, oh, girl, it's okay You should never be ashamed to have it all Yeah, yeah it's gonna be okay Yeah, you've come a long way

Don’t fuck with me hoe Take you down like Judo Elevate your vision when you put me on the cover

Hot like a fever Make you a believer Write my name up in the sky  From Paris to Shibuya

Lady Gaga - 911

Holding on so tight to this status It's not real but I'll try to grab it Keep myself in beautiful places Paradise is in my hands

My biggest enemy is me Pop a 911 

Taylor Swift - mad woman

What did you think I'd say to that? Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? They strike to kill and you know I will You know I will

Every time you call me crazy I get more crazy What about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry And there's nothing like a mad woman What a shame she went mad No one likes a mad woman You made her like that

Ariana Grande - shut up

My presence sweet and my aura bright Diamonds good for my appetite Guess it fuckin' just clicked one night All them demons helped me see shit differently So don't be sad for me

I vibrate high and my circle lit We ain't really with drugs and shit Love the game so I never miss Keep opinions muted for the hell of it 'Cause I like my shit

Harry Styles - Adore You (From Arcann)

Your wonder under summer skies  Brown skin and lemon over ice Would you believe it?

You don't have to say you love me You don't have to say nothing You don't have to say you're mine

Oh, honey I'd walk through fire for you Just let me adore you

Taylor Swift - mirrorball (To Avery, Avelyn, Saxan)

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight I'll get you out on the floor Shimmering beautiful And when I break it's in a million pieces

Hush When no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you

Chloe x Halle - Tipsy (To Arcann)

I've been crucified, darling Ghost haunt me like New Orleans I've been charged with murder 'Cause some wanna push me further I'll hit you where it hurts, yeah If you don't put me first, yeah And I don't give no apologies If you lose a life that's not on me, yeah

I might be a little tipsy on your love Makes me a little crazy but so what You're strumming on my heart strings, don't be dumb If you love your little life then don't fuck up

Avery

Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia

I know you're dying trying to figure me out My name's on the tip of your tongue, keep running your mouth  You want the recipe but can’t handle my sound

No matter what you do, I'm gonna get it without ya I know you ain't used to a female alpha

Katy Perry - What Makes A Woman

Is it the way I talk sweet? The way my skin is soft? Or how I can be a bitch? Make you keep your fingers crossed? 

Is it the way I cut my hair And put no makeup on? I feel most beautiful Doing what the fuck I want 

Rina Sawayama - Dynasty

I'm a dynasty The pain in my vein is hereditary Dynasty Running in my bloodstream, my bloodstream Dynasty And if that's all that I'm gonna be Won't you break the chain with me

I'm gonna take the throne this time All the words all mine, all mine It's been way too long, too far Too gone, to carry on You can't hide it in the walls Sweep it under marble floors It's been living in our lives Best told damn family lie

Chloe x Halle - Overwhelmed

Holding my breath till my face turns blue Head underwater Breathe deeply they said I need a weekend again Looking for bright sides Low on the high types Running so fast, I done worn my shoes Head on the pavement I'm just trying to win Pushed in the river, I swim Nothing can blind side  Me like the high tide I don't do well under pressure I don't know at all I wish I had all the answers Fix it all myself (Oh) I feel overwhelmed

Avelyn

Selena Gomez - Dance Again

Happiness Ain't something you sit back and you wait for Vulnerable Ain't easy, believe me, but I do it

Feels so, feels so, feels so good to dance again With my emotions, I just start going in With everything To dance again 

Katy Perry - Resilient

'Cause I am resilient A full flower moment Won't let the concrete hold me back Oh no I am resilient Born to be brilliant You'll see me grow right through the cracks Yeah, 'cause you're gonna watch this flower grow right through the cracks

Childish Gambino - 19.10

I remember back when I was six years old Daddy said "the world's so cold" "There is something that you should know", "You're so gorgeous", (thank you daddy) "Nothing's really worth your time" "But someday soon you just might find" "The truth about the world's design", oh

“To be beautiful is to be hunted I can't change the truth, I can't get you used to this”

Ariana Grande - my hair (To Ezekiel)

It’s got body and it’s smooth to touch The same way as my skin Don’t you be scared 

To run your hands through my hair Baby, ‘cause that’s why it’s there Come run your hands through my hair Ooh baby, so don’t you be scared So come run your hands through my hair 

It’s been way long overdue Just like these inches down my back Usually don’t let people touch it But tonight you get a pass

Enzaran

Miley Cyrus - Midnight Sky

I was born to run, I don't belong to anyone, oh no I don't need to be loved by you See my lips on her mouth, everybody's talking now, baby Ooh, you know it's true See his hands 'round my waist, thought you'd never be replaced, baby Ooh, you know it's true, yeah

You should know right now that I never stay put in one place Forever and ever, no more

Dorian Electra - Gentleman

I'm a gentleman Take my gentle hand Off to a gentle land I'm a gentleman

I pick you up I put you down I say the perfect thing then I make you spin around Yeah I'm lighting you up Throw you around This is a conquest a war is going down 

Thundercat - King of The Hill

A king in his castle A king of the hill Wasting his time Chasing cheap thrills He knows it's gonna cost him God knows how much

Jurbiend

Billie Eilish - Therefore I Am

Stop, what the hell are you talking about? Ha Get my pretty name outta your mouth We are not the same with or without Don't talk 'bout me like how you might know how I feel Top of the world, but your world isn't real Your world's an ideal

I don't want press to put your name next to mine We're on different lines, so I Wanna be nice enough, they don't call my bluff 'Cause I hate to find Articles, articles, articles

Childish Gambino - 32.22

I'm a funky motherfucker, man Don't fucking call me I been the man, don't fire me Things ain't all bad

We are the, we are the warlords We are, are you ready? Firelight, got it, warlords Pick it up, no, pick it up Firelight gonna clean it up Firelight's goin' way up Red light's on fire

Riornivo

Harry Styles - Treat People With Kindness

Maybe we can find a place to feel good And we can treat people with kindness Find a place to feel good

Givin' second chances I don't need all the answers Feelin' good in my skin I just keep on dancin'

Childish Gambino - Time (ft. Ariana Grande)

Seven billion people Tryna free themselves Said a billion prayers Tryna save myself I can see it coming But it's moving fast

Maybe all the stars in the night are really dreams Maybe this whole world ain't exactly what it seems Maybe the sky will fall down on tomorrow But one thing's for certain, baby We're running out of time

Running after something But I don't know what Am I running to? Too afraid to stop Hundred miles an hour With no seatbelt on Time is everlasting I can't wait that long    

Selena Gomez - Let Me Get Me

Like a prayer surrounding us, moving effortlessly  Every word is relief  No self-sabotage, no letting my thoughts run Me and this spiral are done Burn this camouflage I’ve been wearing for months Tryna let a little happy in for once

Don’t get me down, I won’t let me get me I’m good right now, I won’t let me get me Take that tired heart and go and turn it inside (out)      

Diving in ferociously, dancing intimately I’m so connected to me In the dark I’m letting go, so anonymously I guess this is what it feels like to be free

Troye Sivan - Take Yourself Home (To Rionnic)

Talk to me There's nothing that can't be fixed with some honesty And how it got this dark is just beyond to me If anyone can hear me switch the lights

Who you really tryna be when they see your face? Is it worth it trying to win in a losing game? Well it's all waiting for you And, boy, I know you're eager But it just might destroy you Destroy you 

Arca - Calor (From Arcann)

Rio, me tienes Rio, me tienes

Eres el premio que más deseaba Eres el sueño que no me atrevía a tener Eres el premio que más deseaba Eres el dueño de todo mi ser

Lady Gaga - Stupid Love (From Vaylin)

You're the one that I've been waiting for Gotta quit this cryin' Nobody's gonna heal me if I don't open the door Kinda hard to believe, gotta have faith in me

Now it's time to free me from the chain I gotta find that peace Is it too late or could this love protect me from the pain? I would battle for you, even if I break in two

Look at me now 'Cause all I ever wanted was love I don’t need a reason Not sorry I want your stupid love

Taylor Swift - marjorie (To Vianiel)

“Never be so kind, you forget to be clever” “Never be so clever, you forget to be kind”

“Never be so polite, you forget your power” “Never wield such power, you forget to be polite”

And if I didn't know better I'd think you were talking to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around What died didn't stay dead You're alive, you're alive in my head 

Rionnic

Lady Gaga - Sine from Above (ft. Elton John)

When I was young, I prayed for lightning My mother said it would come and find me I found myself without a prayer I lost my love and no one cared When I was young, I prayed for lightning

When I was young, I felt immortal And not a day went by without a struggle I lived my days just for the nights I lost myself under the lights When I was young, I felt immortal

Thundercat - It Is What It Is

When the gold becomes dough And the magic starts to fade When it all comes to an end When there's nothing left to say It is what it is I tried to make it work My best just wasn't enough It couldn't be helped, the end The things I would do for you

After all is said and done And I'm all alone When I sit back and reflect From a broken heart Sometimes there's regret It is what it is

Taylor Swift - peace (From Jaesa)

Our coming of age has come and gone Suddenly this summer it's clear I never had the courage of my convictions As long as danger is near And it's just around the corner, darlin' 'Cause it lives in me No, I could never give you peace

And you know that I'd Swing with you for the fences Sit with you in the trenches Give you my wild, give you a child Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother Is it enough?

Rina Sawayama - Chosen Family (From Vette, Katei)

We don't need to be related to relate We don't need to share genes or a surname You are, you are My chosen, chosen family So what if we don't look the same? We been going through the same thing Yeah, you are, you are My chosen, chosen family

Saxan

Dorian Electra - Edgelord (ft. Rebecca Black)

We live in a society That's always lashing out at guys like me They pushed me to the edge, you see Never, never, never gonna come down One question, why so serious? Did I offend you? I'm so curious Ha, my identity's mysterious Never, never, never gonna come down 

Taylor Swift - this is me trying

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that

They told me all of my cages were mental So I got wasted like all my potential And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that

The Weeknd - Save Your Tears (To Linnea)

You could've asked me why I broke your heart You could've told me that you fell apart But you walked past me like I wasn't there And just pretended like you didn't care

I don't know why I run away I make you cry when I run away

I made you think that I would always stay I said some things that I should never say Yeah, I broke your heart like someone did to mine And now you won't love me for a second time

Taylor Swift - gold rush (From Linnea)

I don't like a gold rush, gold rush I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch Everybody wants you  But I don’t like a gold rush

What must it be like To grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominos My mind turns your life into folklore I can't dare to dream about you anymore At dinner parties I won't call you out on your contrarian shit    

Vianiel

 Katy Perry - Daisies

They told me I was out there Tried to knock me down Took those sticks and stones Showed 'em I could build a house They tell me that I'm crazy But I'll never let 'em change me 'Til they cover me in daisies Daisies, daisies 

Billie Eilish - everything i wanted

I tried to scream But my head was underwater They called me weak Like I'm not just somebody's daughter

Coulda been a nightmare But it felt like they were right there And it feels like yesterday was a year ago But I don't wanna let anybody know 'Cause everybody wants something from me now And I don't wanna let 'em down

Selena Gomez - She

'Cause she was a girl with good intentions Yeah, she made some bad decisions And she learned a couple lessons Wish I could tell her

She didn't know all of the hurt she could take Her world was crumbling and so was her faith Wish I could talk to her, 'cause what I would say "Oh baby, you're enough to get you out of this place"

Taylor Swift - tolerate it (To Jurbiend)

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome I take your indiscretions all in good fun I sit and listen, I polish plates until they gleam and glisten You're so much older and wiser and I

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid Use my best colors for your portrait Lay the table with the fancy shit And watch you tolerate it If it's all in my head tell me now Tell me I've got it wrong somehow I know my love should be celebrated But you tolerate it

Vyria

Rina Sawayama - Paradisin’

Paradisin' Living my best life, drivin' Drivin' you crazy Paradisin' Living my best life thrivin' You say I'm misbehaving But I'm just a kid, so save it Let me have an unforgettable time of my life

Lady Gaga - Free Woman

I'm not nothing without a steady hand I'm not nothing unless I know I can I'm still something if I don't got a man I'm a free woman 

[thelanguageoflovers]

I’ve already done 12, so...

28. One person tracing the other’s lips with a fingertip until they can’t resist any longer, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss.

I got you anon (also this one is for @gayscandomath​ aka the light of my life herself)

“Shit,” TJ mumbled, trying his best to be quiet as he rattled around the kitchen in the dark. Without his glasses, he’d already sent multiple things clattering to the ground. He was trying his best not to wake his boyfriend, but it seemed the damage was already done.

“Teej? You okay?” The light flicked on overhead, leaving his eyes to adjust.

“Yeah, sorry. I just wanted a glass of water but I forgot my glasses and I didn’t want to wake you and-”

“TJ. We’ve lived together for years, now. how many times to I have to tell you that it’s okay to turn the light on out here when I’m asleep?” TJ smiled sheepishly.

“I know, I was just nervous. I know you had a stressful day yesterday and I wanted you to get some sleep.”

“Thelonius Jagger Kippen. I would always choose being sleepless because of you over a good night’s sleep without you. I can make up for the exhaustion with coffee, but there’s no way to make up lost time with you.”

Cyrus’s hand came up to cup his face, thumb stroking over his lips. After a few moments, he leaned onto his toes and pressed a warm kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “I love you, TJ.”

“Fuck, Cyrus. Marry me.”

“What?” Cyrus seemed taken aback, his face illuminated by the yellowish tint of the kitchen lights. 

“I don’t- I don’t have a ring or anything, but I do- I really really do want you to marry me.” TJ stumbled over his words, clumsily getting onto one knee.

“Oh my God, you’re proposing to me at three in the morning on a Wednesday. This is so not how I thought this would go,” Cyrus giggled, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Is- is that a yes or...?”

“Of course it’s a yes!” Cyrus exclaimed, hauling him up by the collar of his t-shirt. “Of course I’ll marry you, TJ. Who the hell else would I marry?”

They were both covered in tears and snot when they crashed into each other in a messy kiss, but it didn’t matter.

“We’re getting married, Cy,” TJ whispered in amazement.

“I can’t wait, Teej. Did you ever get that water or do you need me to do it with my functional eyes?”

“Shut up. I love you.”

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Part Forty-Four

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII

cowritten by @lux-scriptum​

A/N: trigger warnings for mentions of suggested abortion

Amara flopped down on her couch. Cin was still with Renee, which- well, it sucked. She missed her mate. And she needed help getting rid of all their shitty furniture so she could let him buy some better furniture for the better apartment she was planning on moving to. As soon as she found one anyway.

She was still laying there, staring at the ceiling, when she heard Nik come in the door. “What happened to your door?” He asked.

“Ash. Shut it behind you.”

“No.”

When she levered herself upright, he was setting the piece of plywood she was using as a door against the wall. “You’ll let in a breeze, dickhead,” she said, flopping back with a groan.

“Good,” Nik said. “Maybe it’ll get rid of the charred wood smell.”

“Not my problem much longer. I’m moving.” Amara threw an arm over her eyes. “Hopefully.”

When Nik didn’t speak, or move closer, Amara groaned loudly. After sitting up, she crossed her legs, peering at how Nik’s arms were folded across his chest.

“Come, sit on the shitty couch I plan on replacing.”

“Why are you leaving?”

Amara squinted. “I’ll tell you if you sit down,” she wheedled.

“When were you going to tell me Destris was dead?”

Guilt pricked at Amara, but she lifted her chin stubbornly. “Sit, and then we talk.”

“No. You lied to me.”

“When?” Amara asked, spine straightening.

“I thought you were done not telling me the truth.”

“Not like I’ve been around much to tell you anything.” When she looked at Nik, he looked close to tears. “Seriously. Sit. I’ll tell you everything.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why tell me now?”

“Because you’re here, dumbass. And no one’s here to interrupt me this time.” She patted the couch insistently.

“Name calling is not going to work in your favor,” he said, pursing his lips.

“Name calling is my way of showing love and you know it.” Amara leaned back. “I was afraid to fail again. I wasn’t going to put you through that. Besides, I was on a tight schedule. I killed him quick. I had to. I needed his soul. And I felt like shit for bailing on you, but- I needed Lev back. You needed him.” She screwed her face up. “And then Cameron kicked me out of the house.”

Nik gave a grim little smile. “Everyone needs Lev,” he said. He sat down on the couch, facing away from her.

“Yeah well, you were kind of out of commission without him. I need my best friend functional. Or as close to it as you usually are.”

“Doesn’t excuse the fact you lied to me. Again.”

“Right. Next time I’ll drop everything I’m doing on a time sensitive mission and tell you what i'm doing.” She crossed her arms. “I wasn’t trying to leave you out of the loop. That’s not a lie. Shit just happened fast, and then Cameron pushed me out of the house, and I haven’t seen much of you since.”

Nik got up with a muttered, “Whatever.”

“Hey, no,” Amara said, jumping to her feet and grabbing his wrist. “Wait. Please. You’re here. Please. Let’s talk, now that you’re here.”

Nik pursed his lips, clearly thinking about it, before he flopped back down. “Speak.”

“Cyrus said the spell we tried didn’t bother to offer anything in exchange.” Amara tipped her head back. “He’s the one who thought of killing Destris. He killed Lev, he should die. So I killed him. Cameron wouldn’t come, which. I expected. He’s got baggage I don’t think anyone wants to unpack. I wish I could have dragged it out, but I was afraid of Destris getting away if I toyed with him. So I gutted him when he opened his front door. Cameron wouldn’t let me stay while they did the magic. So I came over and cried on you, but you know that. And then we spent days waiting for Lev to wake up, and that’s all I could think about at the time.”

She paused, touched his shoulder. “I’ve been ignoring you,” She finally said. “Worse than usual. And that’s not fair.”

“You didn’t kill him fast enough.” Nik’s voice broke. He curled into the couch, looking away.

“Noted for next time.” Amara hesitated. She leaned against him, closing his eyes. “Hey. I won’t apologize. You hate those. But. I’ll try to be a better friend.”

Nik stared into the couch blankly. Silent tears slipped down his cheeks. “I’m pregnant,” he finally said, voice cracking. “He’s the father.”

Oh. Amara had no idea what to say. “You keeping it?” She finally asked.

“I don’t know.”

Amara considered him. “You don’t have to, you know. If you don’t want to.”

“You mean not carry a sadist’s spawn in my weird omega uterus? Yeah, I’m aware.”

“Plenty of angels are weird about abortions. Won’t even say the stupid word. It really is an option.”

“If i want to get an abortion, I will. I just don’t know what I want.”

Amara considered that. “Okay,” she finally said. “Whatever you decide, it’s the right decision.”

Nik gave her a really tired look. “Okay,” he said dryly. “Thank you, Ash.”

“Ouch,” Amara said, smacking his shoulder. “Take that back right now.”

Nik curled into the couch and rested his head on the back cushion. “What, exactly,” he said, “is Cameron going to say when he finds out I slept with his brother of all people? Cameron puts up with a lot of my shit, but he’s not going to put up with this. Not Destris.”

Amara considered him. “Cameron isn’t going to do anything,” she said. “It’s Destris.”

“Destris did not come onto me,” he said. “I came onto him. I went to him for the drugs and I was more than willing to let him fuck me- and knot me. Even if it’s Destris, I am not Destris, and… this kid sure as hell isn’t either.”

“You went to Destris?” Amara frowned. “You knew it was Destris, and you went to him anyway?”

“No I did not know it was Destris,” Nik said, irritably. “But that doesn’t mean shit.”

“Kinda think it means everything,” Amara said. “If you don’t know who you’re fucking, how the hell do you consent.”

Nik’s eyes narrowed in thought. “Easily. With my mouth. And ass apparently.”

Amara rolled her eyes. “No.” She said. She poked his cheek. “Not how consent works, dumbass.” She leaned against him, and sighed. “But I’m not going to change your mind. I know that. Just... know Cameron will understand.”

“Sure he will,” Nik said. “Because Cameron is capable of forgiveness or empathy or literally anything else on any form of emotional spectrum. Not to mention we already have one kid in the house that he wanted to kill the moment he laid eyes on. And that kid isn’t even a hybrid.”

Amara nodded. “Cameron is just a freak of nature who doesn’t feel shit normally. But I know it’ll work out. I just know.” She tapped her temple.

“Since when were you an optimist?” Nik demanded, voice cracking. “Ugh, stars. I am so sick of crying.” Nik wiped hastily at his tears, his glower faltering. “I’m a horrible person.” he closed his eyes. “Lev literally just got brought back from the dead and I’m pissed off everyone cares more about him than me.”

Amara shrugged. “You’re allowed to be selfish. And everyone will stop fawning over him soon enough. Or, as much. Everyone fusses over Lev. You do, I bet. If you need more attention, more love, more- whatever, ask for it. You know no one will mind. You deserve it too.”

“Do I?” Nik asked, silent tears slipping down his face. He palmed his eyes, sniffling. “I’ve been selfish my entire life,” he said “Now I’m just being an asshole. Not like I was just brutally murdered and then necromancied back into life.”

“You are,” Amara said. “Now go be selfish, or I’ll tattle to Lev and Cameron that you're not getting enough attention that you need.”

“I decided to go out and get high and completely blow off everyone, making Cameron turn into a skeleton, Lev try to make me stay dead and everyone try to handle me. I’ve been nothing but selfish and smothered and now I want erven more attention and it’s even worse because Lev doesn’t remember anything and now I’m pregnant and if i say a word to anyone about it, especially Lev, then he’s going to try to bend over backwards to parent me and Cameron’s going to hate me, even more than he already does, and Nate’s going to get even weirder about me being in Cameron’s house and-” Nik’s mouth snapped shut and he took a deep breath. “Point is, being selfish is what got me into this mess in the first place.”

Amara sighed. “I don’t know how to logic you out, Nik. You'll have to find someone else to do that, but I’ll always be here for you. Cheesy as that sounds. If you can't be selfish around anyone else, then, be selfish around me.”

Nik blinked rapidly, scrubbing his face before moving over to lean against her. His entire body trembled with barely suppressed tears while she put her arm around him. He sniffled. “You’re annoying,” he finally said, petulantly.

“It's my job,” Amara replied. “You wanna stick around a bit longer?”

“Yeah,” Nik sighed against her.

---

With Nik gone for the day, Lev was stuck in bed, though at least Cameron was there. In the chair. Out of arms reach. Lev lasted an hour, ignoring the vague ache pulsing through him, before he cracked.

“Cam?” Lev asked.

“Hm?”

“It hurts,” Lev admitted. “I- can you hold me?” He was quick to add, “I can sit in your lap if you still want to read, but- not being touched… hurts.”

“Sure,” Cameron said eventually. He settled more comfortably, and then shifted so Lev’d have room.

Lev wobbled the few steps it was to Cameron’s lap, and curled in immediately. Cameron pulled a blanket around Lev, and started to play with Lev’s hair absently as he read. Slowly the ache faded, and Lev sighed softly into Cameron’s neck.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“Mmmhmm,” Cameron replied.

“I guess we should let Ash know… I didn’t realize… I didn’t know it hurt like that. Nik hasn’t let me go since he arrived.”

After a few seconds, Cameron said, “Nik will be back soon.”

Lev nodded. He knew that. And he didn’t begrudge Nik his time away. “I like time with you too,” Lev said. “I like it when you hold me. I feel safe.”

“All you have to do is ask.”

“I know. That’s the hard part.” Lev pressed a shy kiss to Cameron’s cheek. “I’ll work on it.”

“That’s probably for the best.”

Lev snorted softly, and snuggled back into Cameron. “You haven’t changed much.”

“I’ve been at work. I’ve been too busy.”

“That sounds about right.” Lev absently traced Cameron’s collarbone. It stuck out more than he remembered, and he didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Cameron went back to reading, but Lev didn’t mind. His alpha’s hand was still playing with his hair, and Lev was content to let him.

Lev had dozed off by the time Nik came home. Lev only stirred when he ehared Cameron tell Nik… something about dinner. That was enough Lev’s head shot up, peering blearily around.

“Nik?” Lev asked, finally focusing on his boyfriend.

Nik gave him a tired smile. “Hi.”

Lev scrambled clumsily out of Cam’s lap, and wrapped himself around Nik tightly. “How was it?” He mumbled.

Nik wrapped his arms around Lev’s waist. “Amara was being Amara, as usual.”

“A little annoying, and not really helpful, but you feel a little better anyway?”

“Yeah. Exactly that,” Nik said.

“She’s good at that.” Lev pulled away, long enough to flop on the bed wearily. “Nap with me?”

“Yeah,” Nik promised, joining him. “That sounds nice.”

---

Lev had sent the sentries back for proper pillows twice, though he wouldn’t give back the others. He tucked them around Nik, though he tossed a few chosen to the floor. Nik didn’t offer to help, and just watched Lev sleepily. Lev took several breaks, and napped frequently.

He occasionally took small laps around the room. As long as he didn’t stray too long, Nik just waited for him in bed. Lev poked around in the adjoining bathroom, puttered around in the walk in closet. He dragged several pillows in there with him, and one of the extra blankets, too. He left them there, out of the way, and crawled back in bed with Nik once again.

Nik tugged Lev close. “If you keep getting out of bed, you’re going to get in trouble,” Nik mumbled.

“You’re with me,” Lev said. “I’m supervised. And I don’t stay long.”

“I see you’re going to drag me under the bus with you.”

Lev burrowed close. “I didn’t mean to. I- I can stay in bed.” He touched Nik’s cheek lightly, and then, “I’ll try anyway. I’m supposed to try to walk a bit.”

Nik whined at him, and curled into Lev.

Lev stroked his hair. “I’ll stay,” he promised, more firmly this time. He pressed a hesitant kiss to Nik’s forehead. To Lev’s delight, Nik began to purr softly.

Lev settled deeper in the bed, and closed his eyes. Before he knew it, he was dead asleep, one hand fisted in Nik’s shirt.

Tagging: @incandescent-creativity @idreamonpaper @solangelo3088 @halstudies @alittleyellowdinosaur @caelisis

[the-warriors-homegirl]

Beach Vibes with the Bois

ALRIGHT SO I CANT WRITE ENDINGS TO SAVE MY LIFE, SO YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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This is just a little some I wrote because I couldn't get the headcanon of Cowboy being afraid of water out of my head. Enjoy :3

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"Let's get out of here and do something fun for once!" Vermin demanded, throwing the cards in his hand on to the table in front of him. Cochise and Ajax gave him a questioning look, but before either could ask what the fuck he was talking about, he finished his statement. "And I think that should be swimming!"

"Not a chance." Cleon spoke up, walking over to the male with his arms crossed. "We can't afford to let our guards down. You know the other gangs have been breathing down our necks lately."

Vermin huffed, pouting a bit. "Cone on Warlord. We can just go to the beach for a few hours and make it back. Besides, no one would even be on our turf. We have scouts all over the place man!" He tried to reason with Cleon, a small pleading look on his face.

"We have been cooped up in here for a while now Warlord," Swan spoke up, everyone going silent at his words and staring at him in surprise. Was this their Swan? "What? I'm just saying that we have been in here for too long, just waiting for something. Tension has been high these past few days anyway. It may be needed."

Cleon clicked his tongue at Swan's words, all eyes going back to him. "I guess you got a point," He sighed, knowing he'll probably regret this. "Alright. We can go down to the beach for a few hours."

Those words sent almost everyone into cheering. Even Snow who only showed emotions during special times cracked a little smile. Everyone was excited.

Except Cowboy.

Cowboy sar there, digging his nails into the palm of his hand to keep himself calm. Who was he to ruin his brothers fun and excitement? His eyes went over to the youngest of the group, Rembrandt, who looked as if he had just taken five cans of flash back to back. Watching him, he couldn't help the little smile that came to his lips. Maybe it won't be so bad after all.

...............

He was wrong.

This was terrible.

Cowboy stared down at the water as it engulfed his feet. Why did he agree to come? He should have stayed back and scouted. He couldnt do this. The memories of his childhood immediately flashed through his mind. The feeling of the water swallowing him whole, taking his air away from him painfully slow. Being alone underneath the water. No one to help him. His eyes had gotten heavy and he finally just accepted it and let his eyes shut. The next thing he remembered was being surrounded by people he didn't know and was coughing up water.

So yeah, the beach wasn't his favorite place in the world.

Thankfully, before Cowboy could completely let his memories devour him, a hand on his back pulled him back to reality. He turned his head, being met by Rembrandt's soft smile. He was wet from head to toe, his once big and tall 'fro, now curly and plastered to his head.

"You can't go swimming with your hat, you know." Rem stated softly, slowly removing his hand from the older one's back.

Cowboy let out a soft chuckle, reaching up to adjust his hat. "Yeah, well.. I didn't really plan on swimming." He admitted, earning a frown from the younger male.

"You weren't? Why not?" Rembrandt asked, a small pout forming on his lips. Why didn't his friend want to swim? Was he ashamed of how he looked without a shirt? Now that he thought about it, Cowboy was one of the three who did wear a shirt under his vest. Before he could stop himself, his gaze fell to Cowboy's chest and stomach for a few moments before he looked back at him, cheeks heating up a bit. "Well... Do you want to go walk down the beach with me? I dont want you to feel left out."

Is Rembrandt checking me out? That was the first thought that Cowboy had when Rem's gaze shifted to his body. He didn't have much time to react to that and he almost didn't process the question before nodding. "Yea-Yeah, sure. Let's go." He said softly.

The two headed down the beach, Cowboy walking along where the water stopped and Rembrandt walking in the water, lightly kicking his feet as he did.

They ended up a good distance away from the group and Cowboy was actually enjoying the peaceful silence from the other guys. He was almost startled when Rem suddenly spoke.

"Are you afraid of the ocean?"

The question made his blood run cold and his face flush. "Wh-What? No! Why would I be? I have no reason to be afraid! I love it! It's amazing! It's-" He was shut up by Rembrandt's hand suddenly being placed against his mouth.

"It's okay if you are, Cowboy."

The softness of Rem's voice made Cowboy begin to relax a bit. He closed his eyes as the hand was removed and then nodded. "I hate it," He said softly. "But I didn't want to ruin anyone's day... Especially yours." He said, opening his eyes to look down at Rembrandt. "You seemed excited to come."

Rembrandt listened to him attentively and shook his head. "Cowboy, you wouldn't have ruined anything," he said. "Everyone would have understood if you didn't want to go. You didn't have to force yourself to come." He looked over to the other guys. "You wouldn't have even had to admit it to them. Just said that you didn't want to. They would have understood. Well... Ajax probably would have called you a pussy, but who cares?"

Cowboy let out a laugh and shook his head. "That's definitely what he would say." He smiled softly as he looked at Rembrandt. He didn't know why, but... He felt compelled to tell him why he hated it. "I almost drowned as a kid. Fuckin' terrifying at first then... it turned peaceful. I would like to be able to go swimmin' and shit again but..." He sighed. "I'm scared." This was the first time he ever admitted that he was scared of something to someone. Sure he's been worried before, like with Cyrus' meeting and all, but thats different from being scared.

Cowboy's thoughts were once again interrupted by Rembrandt's soft hand sliding into his own. He looked down and was met with a soft smile.

"Well, you dont have to be scared when I'm around. I won't let anything happen when we're here." Rem spoke softly, earning a small smile and a nod from Cowboy.

"Thanks Rem." He said, letting their fingers lace together.

Maybe the beach really wasn't that bad.

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Alright, so, the spacing is fucked up. Im sorry. I dont feel like fixing it right now lol.

I went through a lot of thoughts when trying to write this as of whether or not to make CxR a couple through the whole thing or not. Sooooooo let's just say that its up to yall lmao.

[ma-gic-gay]

Five times.

Five times she had woken up that night, thinking she was with Cyrus. Five times, she'd been screaming for him to help her. Five times, he'd reassured her she's in the hospital and that Cyrus is in a jail cell, where he'll be for the rest of his (very short if he had anything to say about it) life. Five times, she had felt completely helpless. Five times, she'd thought she was back in that little room above Jake's, with Cyrus. Five times, Jason had considered killing the ponytail clad mobster.

Five more times, they'd kissed.

That was something they'd have to talk about later. When she'd recovered from this, when they'd had time to actually think as opposed to just reacting and acting on whatever impulse they felt.

All night, he'd thought of his life's romances. The main ones were with Robin, Elizabeth and Sam.

Robin, who'd been his first love as Jason Morgan. It was still hard for him to fully forgive her for revealing that secret about Michael- no matter how much time passes, he couldn't help but be curious about what would've happened if they'd ended up keeping it secret for at least another year. There was the unlikely possibilty they would've made it, lasted through everything, but he doubts it. After all, as Carly once put it, if she wanted something, Robin would run to Europe as opposed to just telling him. It was exhausting.

There was then the possibility that him and Carly would've gotten together, raised Michael. Been a happy family. A tad bit dysfunctional, but happy.

Then there was his romance with Elizabeth. That one was, by far, one of the most bizarre things, now that he thinks about it. They were so different; it was doomed from the start. As much as he hates to admit it, Carly was right about that one. There was no chance of that relationship lasting.

And of course, there was him and Sam. Their end, their downfall, had been the same one he'd had with Elizabeth: she wasn't able to deal with the mob. But if he was being honest with himself, he knew that it was more than that; it was because, as Sam had said repeatedly, "I don't know if your first allegiance is to Carly or to me." To be honest, neither did he.

Sam would always question his relationship with Carly. It caused a fight everytime she brought it up, and when Sam had learned of their past, her head had nearly flew off her body. She hadn't exactly taken the news that her lover's best friend was also someone who he'd been in love with at one point well. The fact she'd been in love with him too didn't help matters.

As she'd tactfully put it one argument, "You'd die for her in less than a second and you're always going to her defenses! If anyone dares to speak a word against her, suddenly she's a fucking saint who's never wronged a soul! Carly, the same woman who wrecks your life at every chance and ruins all of your relationships! This is the same woman who you drop everything to help time and time again, even me! Carly doesn't feel bad when she comes in here, constantly, with all of her problems and needs you to solve all of them! Whatever the fuck it is you're feeling for her isn't friendly or familial."

That wasn't a fun fight for them to have whenever she'd brought it up. It always ended up with both of them fighting dirty before they'd inevitably forgive each other. It pissed him off that she'd question what he felt for Carly, that she'd try and make him admit something he didn't feel. She felt mad because of jealousy, feeling jealous of how much he cared for the blonde. Hell, they'd broken up because of his loyalty to her.

There was one common denominator in all of his breakups: Carly.

Whether or not he'd realized it at the time, she'd been the reason for all of them. Robin and him because he agreed to be Michael's father as a favor to Carly, Elizabeth and him because she didn't like the mob or his best friend, Sam because she didn't like his allegiance being to Carly.

He's surprisingly okay with that, considering everything. Shockingly, he's not pissed at her for, as Sam said, "Ruining all of his relationships every chance she got." The reason is because he knows she didn't mean to. She may have hated some of them, but so long as they didn't want to punch her, she remained civil. Truly, she just wanted him to be happy. Because he knew that, he's fine with the fact that she had caused their destruction.

All night, he'd stayed up thinking of his memories with Carly, trying to put her in a box in his brain. As usual, she refused. Even in his brain, she was too stubborn for her own good. Her name kept jumping from box to box until finally he gave up trying to categorize her and simply indulged in a bit of nostalgia.

Flashback

It was a cold day outside, even for New York's winter. She'd finally gotten around to letting the boys play in the snow and insisted he join.

"Jason, make a snowball with me!" Morgan had yelled, still too young to really make one properly.

Of course, he'd obliged his best friend's youngest and gotten in a snowball fight with Michael, who had a surprising knack for snowball making.

"I give up!" Michael shouted when Morgan flat out tackled him, covering him with snow in the process and earning a loud laugh out of both Carly and Jason. "Morgan, get off of me! I'm cold!"

"We won, right, Jason?" Morgan asks, smiling widely.

"Yes we did, buddy. Which means, we get a prize. What are you thinking?"

"Hot cocoa!"

"I want hot cocoa too!" Michael pouts, getting out of the snow.

"Morgan, how about we get you a new toy sometime this week? We'll go to the toy store and get you whatever toy you want," Jason bargains.

"Do I get hot cocoa too?"

Laughing, Carly says, "Yes, Morgan, you and your brother get hot cocoa. Why don't you go inside and have Leticia get you some?"

"Yay!" Morgan claps, going in the house with a soaked Michael following him.

"Can we come back out here after our hot cocoa and sled?"

"Sure," Jason answers before Carly, getting a smile out of a shivering Michael. "But you two have to be warned up first and the sun can't be setting in ten minutes."

"Deal." Michael agrees, heading inside. "Morgan! Let's sit by the fire!"

Carly playfully shoves his shoulder, "Now they're going to get freezing cold all over again. Thanks."

"Hey, the kid lost a bet. I'm keeping him from getting even more emotionally wounded. Besides, the sun'll set before they're warmed up."

"Mhm. This has nothing to do with the fact you feel bad for not seeing them when they're with Sonny." Bringing up his name darkens the mood, but he nods his agreement.

"It's better for them if I don't see Sonny right now. I know they know something's up with us and I don't want them picking a side-"

"Too late. My boys are always on your side."

"He's their father."

"You're their Jason," Carly counters, smiling.

"Big difference there, Carly."

"No, not really. Look, Sonny's being a pissy bitch because he knows you're right and he knows that I'm on your side. My boys are too, you know that. They know he fucked up and they know that you didn't. So while he's having a tantrum, you're helping me raise them like you always do."

"They're you two's kids, I don't want them getting caught up in all of this."

"To hell with my ex husband, Jason! He's throwing a tantrum and ignoring them. He doesn't give a damn about what they think about it either; he's just mad. They may be his kids, but you clearly care more about them," the blonde argues.

"He's upset because of me! He's ignoring the boys because of me, Carly! Don't you get that?" Jason exclaims, clearly battling himself mentally. "I caused it."

"You didn't do anything wrong!"

"That's not how Sonny sees it!"

"It's how I see it. It's how the boys see it. It's how anyone with half a braincell sees it, Jason! Don't you get it? We're on your side here, no matter what, because you're always, always on ours."

New flashback

"Give me my divorce, Jax!" Carly insists, begging him to sign the papers while Jason simply glares at her soon-to-be ex-husband.

"No!"

"Just give her the divorce. Hasn't she suffered enough?" Jason inquires, breaking his silence and putting an arm around his friend.

"Why, so you two can run off together? No," Jax answers defiantly. "What the hell are you doing here anyways?"

"To make sure you don't intimidate my friend into staying in a marriage she doesn't want to."

"I can't believe this," the Australian chuckles madly, "you really have him here for intimidation? What's Jason gonna go, shoot me? Good luck with that, buddy. Why don't you go leave my marriage and my family alone?'

"I am his family," Carly says, glaring at him. "And he's mine. Always has been, always will be. You knew that when we got married, that my first allegiance is to my children and Jason. If I were you, I'd suggest that you shut up and sign the damn papers."

"And give up my family?"

"Josslyn will always be your daughter and I like our custody agreement for her. She'll always be your family. But as for me and my boys, we're not," the blonde tells him, encouraged by the fact that Jax genuinely looks a little frightened.

"Fine," he relents, signing the papers and storming out of the office.

She feels a tear go down her face and Jason wipe it away. "Why are you crying? Isn't this what you wanted, a divorce from him?"

A chuckle escapes her, "Of course it is. But now, it's really over. I wasn't expecting to feel like this. I was expecting to feel happy or something, and I do, I feel relief, but now I also feel scared. I'm not even sure where I'll be living."

"You guys can stay at the penthouse, if you want. There's plenty of room and besides, it's quiet since Sam moved out." Jason offers and she smiles widely at him.

"Yet another thing I'll never be able to repay you for," Carly smiles, hugging him. "You sure you can handle two kids, a rebellious Michael, and me all at the same time?"

"Yeah," he answers quickly. "You're family."

"Thank you, for being there for me and them through everything that's happened. I love you."

"I love you too."

"It's nice to hear it."

"Yeah yeah, I think you've got to go tell the boys they're coming to the penthouse for a little while."

"They're going to be over the moon about this! Maybe Michael will finally stop being an angsty teenager." Carly squeals excitedly.

"I doubt living with me will change that," he says. "You sure Sonny's going to be okay with this?"

"I couldn't give less shit's if I tried about what Sonny thinks if I'm being completely honest with you, Jason, so don't you dare tell me that you're revoking your offer," she threatens loosely, knowing he'd never do that to her, to their family.

"Never. Just saying, it might be better if you're on good terms with your ex husband-"

"Well, I don't care. The boys, Josslyn, and I are going to be fine, living with you."

Back to reality

"Jason! Help!" She calls again, waking him from his memories and snapping him back into action.

"Carly, you're at GH. Cyrus is in police custody. I'm here, you're safe," he promises. "Nothing's going to happen to you. I promise."

It slowly sinks in and she breathes normally again before asking, "How's work stuff? Did Florence get home safe?"

"Yes."

"Shouldn't you be at the office or something?"

"No, I'm supposed to be here, making sure you're healing properly and nagging you," he quips, getting a smile. "Besides, nothing interesting is going on today. You're what's important here, not the business."

"The business is important too," she argues.

"Not as important as you."

A smile breaks out on her face at that, "Thanks."

"I'd say anytime, but I'm afraid it'd become a habit."

"When did you become so funny?"

"I've always been funny, you just haven't been paying attention."

"Sure. You're always so serious, walking around so stoic and never showing emotion until you're at your breaking point. Or think you're gonna die. It's sad, really. I mean, I love you and I know you love me, but it's sad you feel like you can't show emotion."

"I show emotion."

"Mhm."

"Sometimes. When I feel like it."

"Sure."

"You see my emotions more than anyone else."

"I know," Carly smiles. "That's just because I'm an amazing person and friend."

"You're also a tad bit overconfident."

"She wasn't last night," a sinister voice says from behind them. A voice belonging to Cyrus Renault.

To be continued after I pass out on my bed and don't wake up until school

@ryleighjosephine im not listening to school

[golbrocklovely]

the chosen daughter // colby brock - chapter ten

A/N: i just looked and realized it’s been over three weeks since i last updated this story??? holy shit i’m so sorry !! hopefully this chapter makes up for it. thank you for all the love and support yall have given me in my writings. it really means a lot. okay, enjoy this chapter :)

story description

taglist: @far-to-many-bands , @idfk-tbh-oops , @muted-mayham , @ughwhyislifesohard , @justtanerd , @ashyoungxblood ,  @cmburgos

trigger warning: cursing, fighting, vampire powers, blood, magically powers, wound

word count: 1888

~~~~~~~~

It’s been a week since I last saw Colby, or really anyone from XPLR for that matter. All I've been doing is going to work, eating, and sleeping.

And also vampire proofing my house.

I've hidden stakes everywhere throughout, just in case Cyrus decided to show up. Plus, I carry around multiple vials of Angelica dust just in case.

I'm not fucking around this time.

I have been keeping in contact with Sam, though. I ask him every couple of days what's been happening with Cyrus; is he getting closer. So far, Cyrus has been on the decline, like he's almost gone underground, which I thought would be a good thing.

Turns out he might just be playing around with me. Or he caught up with XPLR who were still hunting him.

Sam told me to just keep living my life, go about like nothing is unusual.

It's hard to do that when it feels like at any second Cyrus could show up and kill me.

"Jade! I need five shots of tequila, stat please!" Ronnie yelled, waving her hand in front of my face.

I blinked a few times, finally getting out of my thoughts. "Yeah. Sure. Sorry."

"Where are you tonight? You've been really slow." Ronnie asked, leaning against the bar.

I had explained some of my problems to her, but not all. Mostly because how could I tell her a vampire was possibly hunting me down? Or that my blood might make vampires more powerful and I don't know why? Or the fact that Colby and Mike, two vampires I thought I could trust, almost killed me a week ago?

So... I kind of just lied.

"Colby was acting... weird last week and I'm honestly still confused about it." I mumbled, pouring the shots.

"Girl, move on from that loser vamp. You literally work at a vampire bar. You could find a new one in a second." She laughed, grabbing the tray and walking off.

I sighed. "Yeah... right."

~ \/ \/ ~

I was so ready to be home, the night feeling like it took even longer than usual to be over. As I walked up the stairs to my apartment, I clutched the stake that was holstered to my thigh. A new accessory I've had since last week.

I unlocked my apartment door quickly, slamming it shut and locking it again. I took a deep breath, relaxing for a second as I leaned my head against the door.

"Why are you so scared, Jade? Afraid a vampire might be around?" A voice called from behind me.

I spun around, my eyes landing on a man. Dark black hair and vibrant green eyes, I knew who it was instantly.

"Cyrus." I whispered.

He chuckled. "I thought you would forget what I looked like. I'm glad you didn't."

Cyrus stood up hastily, his eyes never leaving mine. He licked his lips, glancing over me slowly. "I took the liberty of getting rid of all your stakes. I don't think you really need them. Not after tonight anyway."

Shit.

"So, before I kill you, I gotta ask... why'd you kill my friend?" He questioned quietly.

I gulped, sliding my hand behind my back and clicking the button on my bracelet.

Dear God let them get here soon.

“He attacked me. What was I supposed to do?” I spit, trying to put up a front.

“Die, preferably.” Cyrus shrugged.

I exhaled. “I didn’t kill Jasper. Colby did.”

“Right… your little friend killed him. But you’re the reason he’s dead in the first place.” Cyrus grunted, stepping towards me.

I pressed my back against the door, trying to put room between us. “Maybe he should have just left me alone.”

“Well he couldn’t.” Cyrus argued.

“Why?” I whispered.

“Because his power didn’t work on you.” His chest brushed against mine, his eyes staring into me. “He was so adamant about finding out why. I kept telling him to let it go, but he needed to find out. And now he’s dead.”

“Good riddance.” I smirked.

I yanked the stake from the holster on my thigh and shoved it into his side. He yelled out in pain as I began to run away. He wrapped his arms around me quickly, slamming my body onto the floor hard.

“You fucking bitch!” He fumed, jumping on top of me and holding my hands down.

Veins popped out from under his eyes as they suddenly turned crimson. I thrashed my body around as much as I could, screaming.

He smiled brightly down at me, his fangs almost glistening. “That’s not gonna stop me.”

Cyrus slammed his teeth into my shoulder with a large bite, drinking my blood speedily. His hold loosened on my hands, allowing me to slide my hand down to my pocket and grab some Angelica dust. I gripped the vile and smashed it onto his back.

He snapped his mouth away, howling in pain. He tried to reach the spot on his back where the dust was burning his skin off, but he couldn’t. I crawled out from under him, standing up instantly.

Cyrus grabbed a chair next to him, picking it up and throwing it at me, knocking me back onto the floor. I felt a throbbing pain shoot up through my leg as it twisted uncomfortably.

He grinned as he gazed at me, ready to attack me once again. Before he could reach me, he was thrown against the wall by a dark blur. My eyes followed it, landing on Colby.

In their vampire speed, they began to fight; almost too fast for me to recognize. I could see Colby pull something shiny and small out of his pocket, trying to stab Cyrus with it. Cyrus suddenly had Colby by the neck, choking him intensely.

Colby tried his best to fight back, taking the shiny object and aiming for Cyrus, only for Cyrus to rip it from his hand and push it violently into Colby’s stomach.

“You think you’re the only one that knows about Angelica?” Cyrus laughed, shoving the syringe deeper.

Colby winced, his hands trying to stop both of Cyrus’ from killing him.

I had never seen Colby unmatched before in a fight. It was like he wasn’t strong enough to fight Cyrus. But I knew he was. Cyrus was a younger vampire compared to Colby! It didn’t make sense.

Wait…

My blood… it’s in Cyrus’ system!

“No! Let him go!” I screamed, struggling to get up.

Cyrus didn’t react, his grip on Colby only tightening. Colby’s eyes landed on me as he fought.

I felt a warm sensation flow through me unexpectedly, starting from where my necklace laid and flowing through my whole body.

I felt powerful, like I could fight Cyrus and win.

I glanced over at where my stake had fallen, too far away from me. My hand raised up, reaching towards it. The stake shook, tapping the floor multiple times before it shot to me, landing in my hand magically.

The pain that was in my leg no longer existed. I was able to stand up normally. With the stake in my hand and my strength back, I ran towards Cyrus.

Before he could turn to me, I shoved the stake right through his heart.

Time felt frozen.

Cyrus let out a breath, his grip on Colby’s neck let go, dropping him to the floor. Pulling my hands away from the stake, I watched as Cyrus’ body slammed to the ground dead. His body turned a grey color as his skin began to dry up.

The warm feeling dissipated from me as Colby groaned suddenly, pulling me away from Cyrus.

“Oh my God, Colby!” I collapsed to my knees.

I glanced at the syringe in Colby’s stomach. The liquid inside was still mostly full, meaning the dose of the poison hadn’t been injected. But some must have gotten into his system.

“I’m gonna pull it out, okay?” I asked, holding the syringe softly.

Colby nodded; his breath ragged. “Hurry.”

I slowly pulled the syringe out, tossing it away. The hole that had formed from it wasn’t healing like it should have. Colby’s blood slowly began to pour out.

“Why aren’t you healing?” I questioned breathlessly.

“It’s… killing me.” He choked.

“No. No. No it can’t be! You barely got any in you.” I argued.

He uttered. “Any amount is all it takes.”

“Colby!” Sam yelled, appearing in the doorway and running over to us. Katrina followed right behind him.

“Fuck, what happened?!” Sam exclaimed.

“I got stabbed, brother.” Colby hissed.

Sam grimaced. “Shit.”

“What can we do, Sam?” I replied.

He didn’t respond. His eyes just stared at Colby’s wound.

“What the fuck can we do, Sam?!” I belted.

“I don’t know!”

I gasped at Sam’s voice. His voice was heavy, eyes welling up with tears.

Holy shit… Colby was going to die.

Katrina placed her hand over Colby’s wound, mumbling something under her breath quickly. Her palm began to glow a white and yellow light. We all stared in awe at her.

“Oh my God… you’re a witch.” I whispered.

She pulled her hand away, glaring down at the wound. “It’s not healing.”

“What do you mean it’s not healing? You’re a witch, shouldn’t it be healing?” Sam queried angrily.

“I’m doing everything I can but it’s not healing. Maybe the poison got too deep in.” Kat admitted.

“What are you saying, Kat?” Colby moaned, sweat dripping down his face as he became more and more pale.

“I don’t think I can save… you.” Katrina answered, her eyes watering.

“Fuck… it’s getting hard to breathe.” Colby gulped, trying to remain calm.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Sam screamed, punching the floor.

I gasped. “Wait! What about my blood?”

“What about it?” Sam responded.

“What if it could help? Why don’t you drink it?” I stared down at Colby.

He shook his head. “Jade, I don’t know-”

“It’s either you drink my blood or you die. What other choice do you have right now Colby?” I huffed.

“It may not do anything! I might just drain you dry and then die!” Colby barked.

“Well it’s better than nothing!” I snapped back, pulling the sleeve of my shirt up to expose my wrist.

“Fine then! Sam, get Kat out of here.” Colby demanded.

Sam scoffed. “What? Colby, I’m not leaving you!”

“Yes you are! You’re taking Kat out of here in case she smells Jade’s blood and can’t handle herself. I’ll be okay.” Colby insisted.

“What if you don’t make it?” Sam retorted.

“Then it was one hell of a ride, brother.” Colby smirked painfully.

Sam objected. “This ride ain’t over yet for you. C’mon Katrina, let’s go.”

Sam grabbed Kat, pulling her out of my apartment quickly.

“It’s now or never, Colby. Drink up.” I raised my wrist up to his mouth.

Colby’s eyes turned red instantly, veins appearing from under them. His fangs slid out sharply.

He growled. “Fuck it.”

He bit into my wrist hurriedly, a whimper falling from my lips. His hands traveled up to my arm, holding it tightly and closer to his mouth.

Dark dots began to cloud my vision, a woozy feeling falling over me.

“Colby… drinking… too much.” I mumbled, slurring my words as I tried to stay awake.

Then in a flash, everything went black.

<< CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 11 >>

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Road Trip ~ Tyler Seguin

A/N: IDK IF YALL CAN TELL BUT I’M REALLY IN MY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW BEING LONELY BUT WANTING SOMETHING CUTE. It’s whatever though. I’ll just keep writing cute shit and hopefully you guys will still read it lmao enjoy

It was a warm summer evening in Louisiana. Tyler and I had just started our road trip and I was very excited. We were going to be traveling across the country in a van, something I never thought I’d be able to convince Ty to do with me but to my surprise he was actually excited. We had put a mattress in the back and I had decorated with lots of pillows, blankets, and christmas lights. It looked typical but it was cute. We also had a lot of snacks hidden in different compartments around the van. 

Today we’d driven from Dallas to Baton Rouge which was about a 6 hour drive. We decided to stop there and spend the next day or so exploring. We didn’t have any real plan, we were just going until we had to come back. The Stars’ season was cut short so we had a lot of time to just escape the hockey stuff and just live our lives together out here on the road.

“Ty, do you think we’re going to see a gator?”

“Well if anyone will it’s you, baby. You’ve been looking out the window in every swamp we’ve past.”

“I really like them. I just want to see one where I can still be safe from it.”

“Then why not go to a zoo (Y/N)?”

“I want to see them in the wild.”

“You’re very picky.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry sweet girl.” he said smiling at me and kissing my hand. “Maybe we’ll luck out and you’ll see an alligator.”

“I hope so. Is there anything you want to see on this trip?”

“Just my girl happy.” he said with a cheesy grin.

“Okay you sappy fuck.” I said rolling my eyes at him. 

“I’ve seen so much of this country already. I just want to experience it with you, see how you react to stuff.”

“That’s so sweet baby.” I took his hand in mine and kissed it. We were quiet for a little while just watching the sunset while we drove into the rest stop. 

“Do you want some real food?”

“What do you mean real food?”

“There’s a restaurant in here. It’s a buffet, I know how much you like all you can eat.” he said with a cocky grin on his face.

“Tyler!” I exclaimed laughing and hitting his shoulder.

“What?! Where’s the lie babygirl?” he asked winking at me.

“You’re the woooorst.”

“Look at you blushing. I haven’t had you doing that using just embarrassing words in a long time.”

“That’s because you haven’t been that blunt about it in a long time.”

“Sounds like you’re taming me baby. Don’t know how I feel about that.”

“Ty, you’re Miley Cyrus.”

“Sorry what?”

“Can’t be tamed.” I said giggling as he threw his head back and groaned.

“That was awful.”

“It was funny.”

“If you say so babe.” he rolled his eyes making me laugh again. “Do you want food or no?”

“Not right now love. I’ve been eating a lot of snacks.”

“Okay then let’s just hangout for a bit? I’m not ready for bed yet.”

“I thought you were sleepy from driving?”

“I am but I’m not ready to be done with today.”

“And why is that?” I asked turning in my seat to face him. He grabbed my hand brought it up to his lips giving me small kisses.

“Because I have my beautiful girl all to myself and today has just been incredible. I love you.”

“Baby I love you too but has today really been that incredible? I mean we just drove. And the road trip is just starting, it’s not exciting yet.”

“Do you want to lay on the roof and look at the stars?”

“Always.” I said smiling brightly at him. We got out of our seats and went to the back. He opened the sliding roof and gave me a boost up out of the window before climbing out too. We laid there in the summer heat just looking at the galaxies above us on the clear night. I couldn’t help but look over at him and admire Tyler in the moonlight. He looked beautiful, like always, but it was different somehow. I’d never seen him so calm. While I was lost in thought he caught me starring making me blush while he smiled sweetly kissing my hand again.

“Can I tell you why today’s been incredible?” he asked looking deep into my eyes.

“Of course Tyler.”

“You’ve been here for me nonstop after the season ended. I was so down and out that I didn’t want anyone around. Through all the snarky comments and bitching you still stuck around and helped me. Then when I was really just closing in on myself and isolating myself from everyone including you, you brought me outside to show me this dumb van and pulled me out of it for an incredible adventure. Just like how everything with you has been an incredible adventure.” 

“Tyler..” 

“Everything I do with you is incredible. But the way that you always know just what to do or say to help me and bring me back to real life, back to this moment in time is amazing. I was so out of it. I didn’t care about anything but as soon as I started packing to go on this trip with you all I could think about was how excited I was to be spending so much time with you. You pulled me out of a pit.”

“You just seemed so upset. I couldn’t just leave you like that Ty. I love you, I’m not going to let you shut yourself in a pit or whatever. We’re a team, love.” 

“Sometimes it feels like you’re the head of this team.” he said with a smile. “Maybe even the coach.”

“Tyler come on you do a lot for me too. Don’t act like this is all one sided.”

“I know it’s not one sided, it just has been recently.”

“That’s okay I don’t mind.”

“See that’s why you’re amazing. How don’t you mind? I’ve been so distant and awful and your response was to plan a trip for me to get my mind off things.”

“Sometimes it can’t be a 50/50 partnership. Sometimes things happen and it’s more like 80/20 and that’s okay. Most of the time it’s pretty equal so I don’t care if after something super upsetting happens to you that you need a little more effort. You’re worth the extra effort Tyler.”

“If you don’t stop I’m actually going to cry.” he said laughing but his voice cracked.

“Aw baby don’t cry. I just love you so much.” I rolled so I was half leaning over him. He put his hands on my waist and smiled at me. I could see his eyes filling with water. “Oh my god you are gonna cry.”

“I’m sorry, just no one has ever loved me like you do.” he let a tear slip down his cheek and I gently wiped it away with a soft smile. He held my hand gently to his face. “And I’m positive that no one ever will again.”

“Oh Ty come on.” I said rolling my eyes blushing.

“No. I mean it. I know for 100% certain that no one is ever even going to get the chance.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m so gone for you (Y/N). I want to marry you.”

“You what?” I asked in shock. He laughed at my response.

“I want to marry you.”

“I thought you never wanted to get married? We’ve talked about it.”

“I never thought I’d feel like this about another person. I never understood what people meant when they said that they couldn’t live without someone and wanting to make them theirs forever. I understand now. I didn’t want to be tied down at all until I met you. But when I met you and we started getting closer..everything just shifted.”

“Tyler, you’re going to make me cry.. And this isn’t like some dumb joke right?”

“Never. I wouldn’t joke about this. I want to marry you so bad. I want to pledge my love for you in front of our family, friends, and God. Promise them I’m always going to love and care for you.”

“You sap.” I said laughing wiping away tears.

“Says the one who’s crying.” he grinned at me leaning up to give me a kiss.

“Don’t know what you were expecting. I cry at everything.”

“I know. It’s cute.”

“Pfft liar.” I kissed him again but it didn’t really work since we couldn’t stop smiling.

“So does this mean you want to marry me too?”

“Ty, it’s all I’ve wanted for a while.”

“A while huh?”

“Yeah. That’s the reason I brought it up before. I wanted to know where you stood though so I didn’t scare you away. I’ve always wanted to get married. I want to marry you though. Have for months.”

“I have a confession.”

“Yes?” I asked feeling very suspicious.

“I may or may not have bought an engagement ring already.”

“Tyler!” I exclaimed loudly.

“Shh babe people are sleeping.”

“Tyler!” I whisper yelled at him making him laugh.

“Hey I said may or may not. I could be lying.”

“But you aren’t.”

“No I’m not.” we were quiet for awhile just watching the stars and enjoying small kisses here and there.

“So was this a proposal then?”

“God no, come on (Y/N) give me some credit. I have a whole cute-ass plan for when we get home to propose. This is just a pre-proposal I guess.”

“You’re so funny. I can’t wait to be for real engaged to you instead of ‘pre-engaged.’” I made air quotes making him laugh and kiss me again.

“I can’t wait for you to have my last name. That’ll be my biggest accomplishment to date.”

“I think you’ve done other things that might be above marrying me.”

“Like what the NHL? Babe that’s my whole life but trust me you’re more than that. Getting someone like you to marry me is going to be a huge accomplishment for me. The only way to beat it would be to have a kid with you or something and even then it might be a tie.”

“I’m so glad we decided to do this. I don’t think I would’ve seen such a sappy Tyler if we had stayed home.”

“You wouldn’t have. I don’t even think I would’ve talked at all at home.”

“I love you baby.”

“I love you.” he said giving me another soft kiss before we dissolved back into silence. Once I was tired we went back into the van and got ready for bed. We curled up together sharing ‘I love yous’ and kisses until we fell asleep. Going to bed knowing that Tyler loved me that much really made it the best sleep I’d had in a long time and I dreamed all night of my future with him. It looked bright.

[iridescentkippen]

Love Online - An Ambi Oneshot

Hi @a-bittersweet-gal!

I got you for the multifandom gift exchange! Sorry this is a day late, my schooling has been making me busy these last few weeks and I didn’t get a chance to write this right away haha (I sat down and wrote this in an hour today- so hopefully its still good) I hope you enjoy it! ~Caroline Nora

"Welcome to Love Online! The service for all your matchmaking needs!" Amber looked at the slogan on her brother's website once more, sighing and rolling over on her bed. Her phone was bright in her hands, the only light in her dark room. It was the third day this week she had found herself stalking the page late at night, but it's not like she was going to do anything about it.

It had taken TJ months to get her to agree to sign up for Tinder a few months ago (not to mention all of the girls she’d met hadn't stuck around), there was no way she was going to put herself out there like this. She sat up, throwing her phone down. Peeling herself from her sweaty sheets, she pushed her hair out of her face and walked out of her bedroom. Walking down the hall to the bathroom, she could hear her brother still up in his room a few doors down.

She turned the sink on, splashing some cold water onto her face. Wiping her face on the hand towel, she walked out of the room and knocked on her brother's door.

"Come in!" TJ called out to her, and she slowly pushed the door open. He was sitting on FaceTime with his boyfriend Cyrus, both with big smiles on their faces. "What's up?"

"I can't sleep." He laughs, raising an eyebrow at her.

"That sounds like a personal problem. Cy and I were just talking about how we need to wife you up." Cyrus bursts into laughter, waving at Amber.

"Hey Ambs. And we were? I don't remember that," TJ shushes him and Amber sighs, leaving. There's only so long she can deal with them for. But TJ's right, she really has been single for too long. If she could just get the courage to ask Andi out, maybe it wouldn't be as big of a problem- but she's been stuck in the friend zone for years.

Walking back into her room, she flops back down on her bed and picks up her phone again. She looks at the website once more, the button to fill out the matchmaking form calling out to her. And there, at almost midnight on a Friday, Amber Kippen presses ‘Find Me A Match’.

. . .

Andi had filled out the form weeks ago. She had crossed her fingers that Cyrus and TJ would help her get another shot with Amber, but she quickly started to realize that wasn’t going to happen when the boys turned her down. It wasn’t that they were against Amber and Andi being together- in fact they were both very for it- but every time TJ had tried to set Amber up on a date, it hadn’t gone well.

Andi Mack had been in love with her best friend for nearly three years, but luckily Amber had no clue. She had dealt with Amber’s many failed dates, short relationships, and one night stands for what felt like forever. All of their friends knew and had tried setting them up several times, but nothing had ever worked- solely because Amber wasn’t into Andi. Every time Andi had a date she was always so excited for her, doing her makeup and her hair and telling her it was going to go amazing. Every time Andi would come back from the date saying it went horrible, Amber would look genuinely upset.

But Andi hadn’t given up on her feelings. She would take them to her grave if she had to, would watch Amber get married to another petite Asian girl and would be Amber’s maid of honor. Would sulk in her sadness as they had lots of perfect children and be happy and- Andi was spiraling.

When her phone ringing at midnight woke her up, she groggily answered at Amber’s caller ID. “Hey, babes, what’s up?”

“Bambi, I’ve made a big mistake,” Andi sat straight up, suddenly wide awake. Her best friend sounded worried- and she always has time for Amber’s late night worries.

“Well, what’d you do?” She giggles, pushing her hair out of her eyes and turning on her light next to her bed. “I’m sure you didn’t royally fuck up that badly.”

Amber groans. “But I did. I may or may not have signed up for TJ and Cy’s matchmaking thing,” Andi bursts into laughter, holding her stomach. “Stop, it’s not that funny!”

“You did what? Amber Kippen? Signing up for a dating website voluntarily? I never thought I’d see the day! Who are you into?” Amber goes silent and Andi knows she’s said the wrong thing. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

“It’s just- you know her really well.�� Amber mumbles. Andi thinks through their friends, trying to think who Amber could possibly be into.

“Oh my gosh, Iris? Or- no no no, Libby! You’re into Libby aren’t you! You both dated Jonah, it would make sense!”

“Oh, uh, yeah! I’m into Libby.” Amber stutters back. Andi’s happy for Amber, she really is. She understands, she was into Libby at one point too.

“That’s awesome! I signed up for Love Online too! Maybe we’ll both get significant others at the same time! We could go on double dates!”

“Yeah, awesome. I’m actually really tired, Andi. I’ll talk to you in the morning,” Before Andi can answer, Amber has already hung up. What’d she done wrong?

. . .

How could Andi think she was into Libby? Yeah, Libby’s sweet and all, but she wasn’t her type at all. Granted, her type is a cute girl with short dark hair named Andi, but that was beside the point. Amber looks over as her phone lights up, expecting it to be some sort of half-assed apology text from Andi for something she doesn’t know she did. She scrambles to grab her phone as it’s a new group chat with Cyrus and TJ called Match #237: Operation Ambi. There’s a singular text in it from TJ with the words “About time you finally fessed up to being into Andi” and Amber laughs to herself.

She sends a quick text back, saying, “shut up. it’s not like you two got together super fast either” before rolling over in bed. She receives a quick “touche” back from Cyrus before sending them another message.

“so how do you guys do all this? it’s not like she exactly likes me,,,” She receives a long text back about how Cyrus and TJ will set up friendly hangouts with the two of them as a friend group before finally setting them up on a date a few weeks later, and even though that doesn’t sound so bad, it doesn’t explain her question of how. “she still needs to like me for it to work though”

“Oh she’ll fall for you, just you wait and see” TJ responds, and at that Amber rolls her eyes and goes to sleep.

. . .

Andi has started to think that maybe TJ and Cyrus decided to go through with her request of setting her and Amber without telling her. They keep on asking if the four of them can hang out- which she has no problem with- but it’s just a little bit odd. She decides to confront Cyrus about it a few weeks after it starts because they wouldn’t just do it without telling her, right? She walks up next to him in the hall, asking, “Are you trying to set me and Amber up?”

He stops dead in his tracks, turning towards her. “What do you mean?”

“You know, how I asked you and TJ to set us up about two months ago and now you’re doing something about it? I know how your service works, I was there the entire time you set up Buffy and Marty. And how come you’re focusing on my request if Amber asked you guys to set up her and Libby?” Cyrus laughs, looking confused.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Amber asked us to set up her and Libby? Since when?”

“That’s what she told me! We were talking and we said we both filled out the form. She said she asked about Libby.” Cyrus frowns.

“We aren’t setting Amber up with Libby. But we’re not focusing on your request either. Figure it out.” He then walked away, leaving her alone and confused in the middle of the hallway.

. . .

It was the big night. Amber and Andi were supposed to meet the boys at some nice restaurant, but they just weren’t going to show up. Amber was going to ask Andi out tonight. She looked at herself in her mirror, smoothing down her dress. She’d picked it out specifically because she thought Andi would like it, but she was honestly terrified. She walked into TJ’s room where he and Cyrus were hanging out, but they both went silent when they saw her. “Wow, Ambs, you look gorgeous,”

She blushed, looking down at her feet. “Thanks, Cy. Hopefully Andi won’t be able to tell how scared I am.”

“Go get your girl, sis,” TJ smiled. “Now get out, we were in the middle of something.” All three of them laughed as Amber walked out, ready for the biggest rejection of her life.

God, she hoped this would go well.

. . .

Andi was sitting at the table alone when she heard Amber’s voice. “Is this seat taken?” She looked up to see her best friend standing alone and she shook her head.

“No, I’m not sure when TJ and Cyrus are gonna show up though,” Amber giggled, avoiding eye contact with her.

“They’re, uh, not. It’s just us tonight,” Andi frowned. “I hope that’s not a problem,” Amber quickly added.

“No, not at all, I’m just confused. What’s going on here Amber?”

“Well, it looks like me and you are going to have a nice dinner where I insist I buy your meal and then you ask ‘Is this a date?’ and I say ‘I don’t know do you want it to be?’ and then we have a really good time and I drive you home and then when I’m dropping you off at your door I ask you to be my girlfriend and…” Amber trails off, realizing what she’s just said. “Shit, I really just spilled my entire plan, didn’t I?”

Both girls burst into laughter. “So when you said that the girl you wanted to ask out was someone I knew well it wasn’t because it was a friend of mine, it was because it was me?” Amber nods.

“Are you disappointed?”

“Oh god no! Amber I- I’ve been into you since our freshman year.” Amber goes silent as tears slowly fill her eyes. “Oh my god, did I say something wrong?”

“No, I just wish you’d said something sooner. Four years?” Andi nods. “God, Bambi, how did you survive me going on dates all that time? Why did you keep on going on dates?”

“Because I didn’t think I had a chance,” Amber reaches across the table, taking Andi’s hand in hers.

“You definitely do.”

[13-reasons-ideas]

Finding Peace In Another Part 23

The whispering followed me for the rest of the day. On more than one occasion, I had strangers some up to me and tell me what a crappy choice I made or tell me that he was just waiting to get me into bed so he could break my heart. By the end of the day, I was so frustrated with people, I was on the verge of punching the next person who dared to talk to me. I see why Monty doesn’t like these people. I tried my best to beat Bryce to our lockers, but that wasn’t in store for me. He was leaning against his locker, looking in the direction I was walking. Almost as though he was waiting for me. If there is a God, I am begging you, please don’t make me talk to him. “Hey Becca.” He greeted me, with his most charming tone. I ignored him and opened my locker. “I hear you had one hell of a day. If you want to talk about anything, feel free to swing by. Whenever you want.”

“Uh huh. Sure, Bryce. I’ll keep that in mind.” I spoke into my locker. When I pulled back with my stuff, he quickly closed the door and stepped closer. I felt myself tense up.

“I just want to make sure you understand Rebecca.”

“Understand what Bryce?”

“That nothing happened. Which means you’re going to keep your mouth shut. And that you may be Monty’s flavour of the week, but he is my brother. So if you do decide to talk, he will take my side.” He threatened.

I just blinked at him. “If nothing happened, what would I tell him exactly?”

He smirked at me, “I’m glad we have an understanding. Would hate for there to be any misunderstandings between you two.” I shivered at his tone.

“Hey babe.” Monty said as he came up behind me and placed his hand in my back pocket. I flinched ever so slightly and hoped he didn’t notice or thought it was just a muscle spasm.

“Hey you.” I greeted, stepping on tip toes to kiss his cheek.

“What were you two chatting about?”

“Just some math stuff.” Bryce replied.

“Yup, Bryce just wanted to clarify a concept.” I added, my voice rising an octave or two. I hate lying to him. “Great. Did you grab my notebook this morning Bryce?”

“Yeah, here you go. I’m running late to meet Chloe so I’ll see you two lovebirds later.”

“Later Bryce.”

“Bye.” I said, softly.

“Ready to go?” Monty asked me, slinging his arm around my shoulders. I nodded. With any luck he didn’t notice the stiffness in my upper body and couldn’t feel my heart racing as we walked to the car.

“Is everything okay Becks? You seem kind of off.”

“Everything is good Monty, I just didn’t get a great sleep last night like I said. Bailey will be in the guest room tonight so hopefully it’ll be better.”

“Tonight? Where did he sleep last night?”

“On the couch, under me.” His grip on my thigh tightened slightly. “Before you say anything it’s really no big deal. Bailey and I have never had those kinds of feelings. He really is just my best friend. Besides, he likes redheads. Says they’re fiery or something.”

“Looked like more than friends yesterday but sure. Whatever you say.”

“If we flirt with each other it’s like me flirting with Scott. Minus the one sided crush. Harmless. It’s funny for us because we both know nothing would ever come of it so we can be as dumb or risqué as we want. Actually made a game of it at one point.”

“A game?”

“Yeah, who could get away with the most risqué comments without getting in trouble with a teacher or having our friends telling us to just fuck already if we are going to flirt like that. It was fun.”

“Huh. Interesting.” He said, am impressed smirk plastered on his face.

“What?” I asked, giggling.

“Nothing. Just never pegged you for the sex jokes with friends type is all.”

“Well I never pegged you for the cranberry muffin type. Didn’t you know it’s the quiet ones you need to look out for?”

“I like what I like. They taste like Christmas. Don’t judge.”

“Not judging, just saying.” I said, raising my hands in surrender. When we got to my house I leaned over and kissed him quickly. “Bailey and I are going to a movie tonight. I’ll text you later.” I said as I opened the door and hopped out.

“Alright, have a fun night then.” He said, taken aback by my abrupt exit.

“See you in the morning.”

“See you.”

When I was at my door and looked back at him, he was staring out at me. I couldn’t tell if I had upset him or if he was just confused.

Bailey was lounging on the couch flipping through channels. “Hey.” I muttered as I walked in the living room and dropped down beside him.

“Hey. How was it?”

“Telling my friends was fine. Alex took it about exactly as I expected but after I told him about Jake, he said he would be civil. That was all I could hope for.”

“So why do you look like someone pissed in your corn flakes?”

“It was everyone else that was the problem. And you snore like a truck so I was tired all day.”

“People can learn to mind their own business. That is news to you how?”

“Not here they can’t. It’s not. I just forgot how nice it was to sleep in the quiet is all.”

“Yeah well, I forgot what it was like to sleep without someone’s feet touching me and waking me up.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Bite me.”

“I could if you wanted. Come here.” He joked, leaning in to bite my shoulder.

“Don’t you dare.”

“You like it.”

“I know. But the only person who is allowed to bite me anymore is Monty.”

“Ugh fine. I guess I can share you.”

“How ever will you manage?”

“Well, I am your backup plan so I guess I’ll just hold out hope that you’re single when we’re thirty.”

“Thirty is a long way away Bear.”

“I know but still. I can dream.”

“Me too. Did you decide on a movie to see yet?”

“Dolittle looks good.”

“Dolittle it is. I’m just going to go fix my hair, I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here. You have good snacks.”

I chuckled and run up to my room to comb my hair out. As I pulled off Monty’s shirt, I caught sight of the bruise on my arm. It had started to turn purple in the middle by now. Another week or two and it will be gone. Then I won’t have to be reminded of it every time I change. I pulled my hair into an effortlessly messy ‘I woke up like this’ bun and touched up my makeup before grabbing Jake’s jacket and running back downstairs.

After the movie and a stop for coffee, we hung out on the couch. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing. It’s just been a long day is all.”

“Right. Hey, you never did tell me how Monty came about.”

“Ugh, not you too.”

“What? What did I say?”

“You want to know too?”

“I think I have every right to know Becca. I’m your best friend. Hell, there was a time you called me your other brother.”

“That was before Bailey. Things have changed.”

“I know. And I’m sorry about Jake, you know I am. Doesn’t mean you need to be a bitch about it. I just asked a question.”

I looked at him like he had slapped me. We sat in silence for a while after his outburst. “I’m sorry. I’ve just dealt with people telling me how bad an ides this is all day. I didn’t mean to snap at you. You are my brother.”

Bailey shrugged, accepting my apology, “it’s okay, I get it. I miss him too. But I really am interested to know how you decided you were ready. And how you ended up with a jock of all people. I don’t know the guy so I can’t give you an opinion.”

It’s not just Jake. “As dumb and cliché as it sounds, I really do think that it just sort of happened. It’s not my place to elaborate too much but things aren’t great for him at home. I gave him a place to crash sometimes and I guess somewhere along the line, things changed. Somewhere in between our awkward first aid sessions in the bathroom and staying up late talking to each other. It went from being a good friend, to feeling a flutter when he was close to me, to realizing that maybe a relationship wasn’t such a bad idea. And that falling asleep in his arms was really nice.”

“You’re right. That is cliché.” He joked. I shoved him playfully.

“After everything he made me feel… safe. Being around him is like being home.” I paused for a minute, reflecting on what I had admitted. He is home. “As for how I ended up with a jock, well. Your guess is as good as mine.” I laughed.

“He isn’t bad on the eyes either.”

“No, he really isn’t, is he? Oh, and if you are interested in going to the game, I already agreed to take one of my friends. His name is Cyrus. You will like each other.”

“No problem. It’s a school night so you better get to bed.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you in the morning. Night Bear.”

“Night Becky.” I rolled my eyes as we parted ways at the top of the stairs.

Friday passed much the same as Thursday. The whispers followed the two of us wherever we went. I heard girls whispering as I would pass them in the halls or in the bathroom. Keeping to their word, my friends were civil and supportive. Zach put a stop to some particularly nasty whispers on our way to Peer Communications. I was appalled at what some people thought. There were supportive people too though. I had some people I had never met come up and offer me congratulations and other kind words. Those comments were the ones I chose to listen to. I kept quiet at lunch with Monty, partially trying to appear the strong, supportive girlfriend and partially as a defense to deal with sitting in the same breathing space as Bryce. If anyone noticed, no one said anything. Bailey and I ordered pizza for dinner and enjoyed being in each other’s company again after so long apart. He told me he was leaving Tuesday morning from San Francisco International, so we had a few days left to hang out.

Saturday morning was a lazy, stay in pyjamas day for us. He tried to “help” me make waffles. Only problem was his idea of helping, was making an even bigger mess than was necessary. Monty had agreed to come for breakfast because Bailey wanted to get to know his “competition” better before entrusting me to him more fully. When I gave him crap for it, he amended his words. “Fine, I want to make sure Jake’s job is done. You know he would have probably scared him off by now Becca.”

“I know. Would have been kind of funny to watch honestly. Jake chasing the poor guy up the street with a hockey stick.”

“Now that I would have paid to watch. In all seriousness though, Jake would have liked him. Might have taken him a while, but eventually.”  

“He would have, wouldn’t he?” I sighed and leaned against my friend for a moment. My pensive moment was interrupted by Bailey sticking his finger in the batter and lopping a glob on my nose. “Oh, you did not just do that.”

“I think I did.”

“Well in that case,” I paused for dramatic effect, before swiping batter on his cheek. That set off a game of chase we hadn’t done since we were kids. Just as he caught me, Monty knocked on the front door.

“It’s open.” I called. He walked in and did a double take at my kitchen and Bailey and I. Bailey was frozen in a move to sprinkle flour over my hair and I stood wide eyed, staring at Montgomery. What is he going to do? What does he think this is?  To my surprise, he only took off his flannel and shoes, before walking in.

“Cute pjs Becks.” He said. He shared a look with Bailey and smirked playfully. Oh no. Monty walked up to me and hugged me, leaning back slightly. No, he is not about to help. No. Just as I finished my thought, I felt flour sprinkling over my face.

“Traitor.” I muttered to my boyfriend.

“You like me.”

“I suppose you could come to that conclusion.”

“You suppose, hmmm?” He smirked again.

“Yes.” I replied, before suddenly turning from him and swiping the Nutella beside me, across his cheek. He feigned an affronted look before once again, sharing a look with Bailey. My smile dropped immediately. Shit.

Both boys took off after me, running around the island. “No fair. It’s two against one.”

“It is too fair Becca.” Bailey countered. I rolled my eyes and our fight continued for a bit longer.

“Okay, that’s enough. I promised you boys waffles and if this keeps up any longer, I’ll need to shower before I can make them.”

“I could cook them.” Bailey offered.

“That’s not happening. I don’t feel like calling the fire department today thank you very much.”

Monty laughed heartily, “she doesn’t let you actually cook anything either?”

“Nope. My job is measuring. Doesn’t even let me chop things.”

“She delegates me to re-organizing her cupboards. Does let me help chop stuff though.”

“That was one time.”

He stuck his tongue out at me instead of responding. Can he be any cuter?

The rest of the morning went by without any further incident. Bailey asked basic questions, which was considerably less than I expected. After we had cleaned up most of the mess and said our goodbyes, Bailey and I finished cleaning. “I stand corrected.” Bailey said, as we loaded the last of the dishes into the dishwasher.

“What?”

“Jake would have liked him right away.”

“How do you know?”

“What I watched this morning. You have him wrapped around your little finger. He loves you Rebecca.”

“No he doesn’t. What makes you think he does?”

“Yes. He does. I can tell. He looked at you all morning like his world begins and ends with you. And the other day, when I met him, the way his eyes lit up when I gave you your sweater and you got all excited. He loves you. And don’t even try and say you don’t love him. Because you do. Maybe it’s time you let someone love you again.”

[thirteen-beaxhes]

Losing my Cool (Tyrus One Shot)

Summary: The five times TJ nearly lost his cool and the one time he did.

Words: 2648 

@criminalambis this is for you i’m so sorry

AO3 LINK IN REBLOG

The first time TJ nearly lost his cool, it had been near the end of basketball practice, and for some reason he just wasn’t getting in the flow of things.

“Dude, Kippen, what’s up?” his teammate Darren asked him after TJ had missed yet another basket, and he threw the basketball down hard in frustration.

“Nothing,” TJ snarled, moving to his position as the other boy stood to throw the ball back in. TJ caught it, dribbling it up to the basket, only for Paul to almost effortlessly steal it from him, something that was a rarity. That did nothing at all to improve his mood, his vision red and blood heated up.

When Coach called time on the practice for the day, he pulled TJ aside, a concerned hope for a better run the next day muttered in a low voice. TJ knew the voice. He hated the voice, because he hadn’t been the subject of it in years.

“Looks like you lost your game, Kippen,” Paul said, a snarky grin on his face. “What is it? Time Jefferson finally got a worthy team captain?”

Oh he fucking didn’t.

Blood boiling, TJ started to walk up to Paul with the full intent of connecting his fist to his jaw regardless of the consequences, when the gym doors opened and he heard someone running up to him.

“Teej! I’m so sorry I’m late I didn’t think Spanish club would go on for so long,” Cyrus said as he ran up to TJ, panting slightly. As he reached, he opened his bag, pulling out a host of granola bars. “Now, I couldn’t find your favourite chocolate one, so I got white chocolate and blueberry, and even a honey one, so you can pick,” he finished, looking up at TJ with a smile.

As if a switch had been flipped, the crease on TJ’s forehead immediately smoothed, an amused smile spreading on his face as he looked at Cyrus. He chuckled, picking the white chocolate one. “Thank you, Underdog. Like I always say, you really don’t have to.”

“But I want to!” Cyrus said tilting his head slightly, that made TJ just want to pull him into the longest hug ever. “You ready to go?”

TJ nodded, but then turned around and looked at Paul. “Oh yeah, fuck you, Paul.”

“What happened?” Cyrus asked after he and TJ walked out of the gym, TJ’s gym bag over his shoulder.

TJ just shrugged, wrapping an arm around Cyrus’ shoulders to pull him closer. “Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“How was practice?”

TJ looked over at Cyrus and smiled, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Better when you walked in.”

*

The second time TJ nearly lost his cool, he had been extremely late for school.

His phone had died just when the alarm was going to ring, causing him to oversleep and have to half-ass getting ready in the morning, barely even able to comb his hair. He had gotten into a huge argument with Amber in the morning, the yelling match echoing through the house until their mother screamed at the two of them to get out of the house, and disgruntled, Amber left, not even giving TJ his usual ride. So he was left to run to school in the freezing cold, the action doing wonders for his mood. As he ran up to his locker, he wracked his brain, trying to remember if he was forgetting something when he realised to his horror. He had a History test first lesson.

That was okay, he’d just read through his notes-

Oh fuck, he had left those at home.

TJ groaned loudly, earning some stares from students around him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was hanging on my a tiny thread, this close to punching through his locker, or better, pull it off its hinges. TJ curled his hand into a fist, digging his fingernails into his palm as he opened his locker to take his books, when his eyes landed on the only two pictures in his locker. One was all of them at Andi’s legendary Epic Party 2.0, and the other was him and Cyrus in the park, at just the right moment during the sunset.

Looking at the picture, TJ squeezed his eyes shut, trying to bring himself down from his anger. What would Cyrus say if he was in front of him just then?

Well, he’d smile, and grab his hand, and tell him that it’s just a bad morning, the day was still open.

His smile would be enough to make him forget everything.

Leaning his head against the locker, TJ smiled slightly, pulling out the rest of his books.

*

The third time TJ nearly lost his cool, it had been, predictably, over a math problem.

TJ slammed his head on the desk, groaning slightly, earning a loud ‘Shh!’ from a kid sitting on the table diagonally across him in the library. He tore out another page of his notebook, crumpling it up and slamming it onto the table. He put his head into his hands, pressing it into his eyes slightly, hoping that would stop his head from splitting. Even after he had told Mr Coleman about his dyscalculia, he hadn’t been able to get very far. Well, further than a C-plus.

Now, TJ wasn’t disappointed with the C-plus, and telling Mr Coleman had gone well, but after that he still couldn’t go further, the numbers and problems still confusing him endlessly to the point of near frustration and anger. The point TJ was currently at.

He was dangerously close to just abandoning his homework, or worse, tearing it up, when he heard someone pull a chair up next to him. He turned around quickly, ready to snap, but immediately softening as he saw Cyrus’ face.

“What are you doing here, Cy?” TJ whispered, a small smile on his face.

“Well, I followed the whispers of an angry jock in the library and made an educated guess as to who it was,” Cyrus replied with a sneaky smile, and TJ playfully shoved him in the shoulder. “Okay, okay, call it ‘boyfriend’s instinct’ then,” Cyrus said as he sat down, shaking his head slightly.

TJ smiled softly, his heart picking up slightly at the word ‘boyfriend’. Still couldn’t believe it, after 3 months. “Well, blame the numbers for that then.”

“You good there?” Cyrus asked quietly, and TJ slowly shook his head, uncrumpling the homework and passing it to him.

“I can barely get through any of these, even after trying those techniques Coleman told me about. It’s killing me,” TJ sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Cyrus furrowed his eyebrows, leaning over the paper. He looked up at TJ with an encouraging smile, and grabbed the pen, tapping him on the hand.

“Don’t worry, I can help you a bit.”

*

The fourth time TJ nearly lost his cool, he had slammed the door of his room as he heard the beginnings of another one of his mom and dad’s fights.

He had been in the kitchen heating up a sandwich for himself when his father walked into the house and he and his mother exchanged some heated words, their voices starting out low and strained, but soon escalating. As soon as it reached that point, TJ shut his eyes, deciding to abandon the sandwich and just head to his room. His mom had tried to get him to stay down to try and prove a point, but TJ had just ended up yelling at her and stomping up the stairs, walking into his room. He had long since stopped trying to get Amber to open her door when stuff like that happened. Even as he walked into his room, he could still hear his mother yell after him, his father yelling soon after.

He hated this he hated this he hated this was all his mind was chanting at him, and for some reason that night, no amount of loud rock music seemed to drown away the yells. So he shrugged on the first hoodie he could find, pocketed his phone and climbed out of the window of his house, trudging in whatever direction his feet carried him.

Soon enough, he found himself at the swings. Seems like his feet knew to take him to the one place that had any way of calming him down. TJ sat down on the swing, drawing a shaky breath as he felt himself get choked up.

No stop it, he wasn’t gonna lose it he told himself, taking a deep breath. He pulled out his phone, shakily scrolling until he found the contact he needed and pressed ‘Call’.

“Hello?” said a sleepy Cyrus through the receiver, and TJ could swear he sighed in relief.

“Hey Cyrus,” TJ said, smiling to himself. “I’m so sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No no, it’s okay I was awake,” Cyrus lied, and TJ laughed slightly. “Is everything okay, Teej?”

“It will be,” he said quietly, nodding to himself. “I just wanted to hear your voice for right now.”

*

The fifth time TJ nearly lost his cool was right before their final game, his last game in Jefferson.

TJ wiped his sweaty palms on his jersey, trying to calm his nervous heart. But more than anything, he was trying to fight the anxious wave that was going to envelope him when he realised that this was it. His last run as captain of the basketball team, his last hurrah of middle school. That scared him more than it should have, and he had to remind himself to keep taking deep breaths.

“You good there Kippen?” Paul asked in his usual cocky tone. “Or are you gonna go out there and do an epic fail like that practice?”

Great like he needed that right now, TJ muttered in his head, glaring at Paul who was just smirking, knowing that he was just trying to get a rise out of TJ, being the next in line for captain and everything, being a year younger and everything. And that frustrated TJ to no end.

He clenched his jaw, looking away, reaching into his bag for water before he decided to do something stupid and give the team a reason to not have Paul playing that day. But as he reached in, he felt paper crinkling inside his bag. Narrowing his eyes, TJ pulled out whatever it was, finding a albeit crumpled up note.

Hey Teej, I know I can’t meet you before your game, but I know you’ll do great.

I believe in you.

Don’t do anything stupid.

Cyrus xx

TJ smiled as his eyes travelled across the piece of paper, involuntarily clutching it to himself as he laughed quietly, earning a knowing look from Darren and a scoff from Paul. But TJ wasn’t gonna let it get to him. Flipping Paul the finger, TJ slipped the note back into his bag and headed onto the game, looking back to see Cyrus holding a huge sign, Andi and Buffy cheering along beside him.

He was gonna try his best.

(And he did, shooting the winning shot, much to Paul’s misery. And when the game ended, Cyrus ran onto the court, tackling TJ in a hug, a soft “I knew you’d do it” whispered in his ear.)

*

The one time TJ lost his cool was not what you would expect.

The boy was over at Cyrus’ house and they were in his room, laying on the bed as TJ sketched and Cyrus lay on his lap reading a book. TJ was absent-mindedly running his fingers through Cyrus’ hair, occasionally allowing his hand to trail down to interlock with Cyrus’ free hand.

Overall, it was a lazy day where they wanted nothing more than to be with each other.

“Did you know that benches are the most fascinating piece of furniture?” TJ said, and Cyrus set down his book, sitting up to look TJ in the eye.

“TJ, tell me now if you have had one too many Red Bulls please so I can prepare accordingly,” Cyrus said in a deadpanned voice.

“No think about it!” TJ said, putting down his pencil. “Like, they have so many different styles, and is also the only piece of furniture that can also be a swing,” TJ stated surprisingly matter-of-factly, much to Cyrus’ amusement.

“I just think you’re biased,” Cyrus said, turning to face him. TJ looked away, his cheeks warm.

“Do you blame me?”

“Nope, I have a certain affinity for them too,” Cyrus said with a soft smile.

TJ laughed, before continuing to sketch what Cyrus could assume was only another sketch of his room, or of Cyrus himself.

Cyrus continued to look at him, smiling at the concentration in TJ’s features and the smile on his face as he worked, and he just ended up blurting out what he had been thinking for the past 6 months.

“I love you.”

As soon as he had said it, Cyrus froze, but immediately softened, knowing that yes, he said it, and he meant it.

TJ on the other hand, dropped his pencil, and slowly turned to Cyrus, eyes wide. “You, you what?”

“I love you TJ,” Cyrus said quietly, taking a deep breath as he looked at TJ.

It took a while for him to process those words, but when he did, TJ slowly began muttering to himself, “Oh my god oh my god oh my god OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!”

Clearly, the muttering soon turned to a loud exclamation.

“TJ? What’s happening?” Cyrus asked, looking at him concerned, but TJ couldn’t hear him, pacing around the room, taking a deep breaths.

“You said it, oh my god you said it!” TJ said, looking at Cyrus for the first time. “Oh my god, I’m freaking out. I’m losing it, oh my god.”

“TJ!” Cyrus said loudly, getting up and grabbing him by the arms. “You need to calm down.” He looked down, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m, I’m so sorry.”

“No no, Cyrus don’t be!” TJ said, grabbing Cyrus’ shoulders. “Please don’t be. It’s just, you deserve so much better than me, and I have no idea why and how I ever got lucky to be with someone as amazing as you and to have you love me, me, TJ Kippen. And I can’t even tell you how happy I am because I love you too and I just never thought this would happen.”

“Wait,” Cyrus said, his eyes wide. “What, what did you say?”

TJ looked at Cyrus with a small smile, taking a deep breath. “I love you too, Cyrus.”

Cyrus let out a small laugh, tears filling his eyes, as he jumped up, pulling TJ into a tight hug. TJ wrapped his arms around Cyrus’ waist, laughing along with him.

“I love you I love I love you,” TJ whispered in Cyrus’ ear, causing the boy to laugh happily, pulling away to kiss TJ on the cheek, on the forehead, on the nose.

TJ smiled brightly, leaning down to kiss Cyrus, tightening his grip on Cyrus’ waist, as Cyrus cupped TJ’s cheeks with his hands, both of them smiling into it.

As they pulled away, they rested their foreheads against each other, the smiles on their faces to big for anything to ever tear them down.

“I can’t believe this is real,” TJ whispered, and Cyrus laughed, pushing back TJ’s hair.

“It’s always been the truth to me,” he whispered back, and TJ bumped their noses together.

“Me freaking out must’ve been so lame to you.”

“No, not really, you just acted out what my brain was doing.”

TJ laughed, pulling Cyrus in for another hug. At least the one time he lost his cool was something worth remembering forever.

~~~~~~

this sucks yeet i’m sorry