#okay whatever i half assed that just to make it easier to navigate

[aphrodict]

everyones doin it so im going to do it too HEHE (totally not bc i want an excuse to get out of studying for my exams ;;)

mutuals like this post for an indirect YAY!!

[cuddlesslut]

Beginnings

Chapter Ten of Home

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x fem reader, Hinata x fem reader

Summary: a glance back

Warnings: some NSFW elements in this chapter

AN / so it looks like the chapters are going to be shorter than before but that’s just because I can only keep my energy up for so long. I really do enjoy writing but it’s easier for me to write smaller chapters rather than like before. Also I know Suna hasn’t been as present I promise we will be getting more of him soon! UNEDITED SORRY

Part Nine: Closure

You collapsed onto your bed immediately after getting home from lunch with Atsumu and you haven’t moved for at least half an hour. Emotionally you were exhausted. Seeing him and thinking about him still caused a pang in your chest but that reunion was needed. You needed to start moving past him, that much you decided. He was your first love and he wounded you in a way that may never fully heal but now there’s two amazing guys trying to help you move forward.

You let a long grown rubbing your hands over your face. This were complicated enough when you were still coming to terms with your felling with Hinata. God he must be wondering what the hell is going with you leaving with his teammate. Maybe Bokuto and Sakusa have already started filling in the blanks for him. You could see those idiots snickering to themselves when you had encountered the group earlier. A soft smile graced your lips thinking of those two. You missed those two, and their constant bickering. You had become close to the the team over the years. Having hosted several victory parties at your and Atsumu’s shared home.

A small tear slipped down your cheek running down your face as you lay staring at the ceiling. Just another thing you had lost because of the setter. You released the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Shaking that thought from your mind it did no good to dwell on those things now. Thinking back to your favorite orange haired man you felt slightly nervous about having to explain everything to him. Sho is nowhere near as dumb as most think ,yes he tends to get a little over excited missing some details but he’s really quite clever, so he’s probably figured out most things. It’s not like he wasn’t aware of your past you had spilled that too him a lot quicker than you had planned. You can remember that moment clearly. It was the moment your feelings for Hinata had first started becoming deeper than you had intended, even though you denied them for a lot longer.

You stretched sitting up the soft cotton sheets falling your lap as you yawned searching searching the room for the familiar sight of Shoyo’s bright orange hair. You rose your brow at the lack of his presence. The small apartment was silent. Which made you draw the conclusion that he was not here, he’s to rambunctious to be home and not make any noise not that you minded. You had a clue where he could probably be and your suspicions were confirmed as you heard him enter through the front door. It surprised you the first morning it had happened but by now you are used to Hinata going for morning runs.

He stood in the door smile spreading across his face upon seeing you awake in this bed wearing only one of his old game shirts from Brazil. Your hair still a mess and the purple marks he left last night peaking out from the collar of the crew neck. It was certainly an amazing sight for him to come back to. He leaned against the door frame lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe some sweat from his face. Now it was your turn to appreciate the view. His abs and delicious v coming into sight. Grazing your eyes down to his workout shorts that fit nice and snug against his defined thighs. God his thighs were a blessing in and of themselves. After your quick glance you look back up to the eyes of the man in front of you.

“You know I’ll never understand how you can have the energy to go running in the morning after the nights we have,” you chuckle.

A wide grin sneaks his way to his face “ sorry I’m not the one who can barely walk in the morning,” he winks.

Your jaw drops at his cheeky comment. “ oh yeah we’ll have to change that,” you state smug unsure where all of this confidence came from. Although you weren’t expecting his response.

His eyebrow quirked at your insinuation, before smirking “ alright that can be arranged sometime soon!” He chuckled enthusiastically.

Your eyes widened the scenario playing in your mind quickly.

Hinata loved the shocked but curious expression painting your features. The next thing you new Sho had bolted from his spot jumping into the bed knocking you onto your back as he hovered over you. His hot breath tickled your neck his lips grazing your pulse before giving a nip. One hand had sneaked under the shirt you wore grasping onto your hip while the other kneaded your breast. Your breath grew shaky. He lowered his head to the valley between your breast before looking up to you. Peering at you through his orange waves that dangled in his face.

“You know I still have plenty of energy to take care of you,” he teased his voice dropping an octave. “ so baby tell where do you want me.”

“I want you,” you bite your lip looking at the sinful man in front of you. Your hand grips his chin pulling him up to you face to face, your eyes drop to his lips before returning to his darkened eyes. “In the shower, now get your sweaty ass off of me!” You push his Lunky body of off you before standing.

He groans looking over at you “tease!” He yells.

You turn back sticking your tongue out at him, “ go shower loser im going to make some coffee and breakfast,” you yelled over your shoulder as you headed to the kitchen. Hinata enjoyed the view of you walking away before sighing in defeat, he was really grimy from his run, plus he could use a cold shower right now.

———

You moved around his small kitchen with an air of familiarity. It was about a little over a month since your agreement of friends with benefits began. After fixing a small breakfast and some coffee Shoyo finally emerged fully dressed and cleaned. Taking a sip from his mug and surveying the food you had made. He smiled.

“Damn Y/N this looks amazing!” He smile his signature smile. “You know it surprise me how a girl like you is single!” He doesn’t sense the mistake he had made immediately. You had never talked about why you didn’t want to date before. Not feeling your tragic history with love was appropriate pillow talk. You froze at this statement. Unwanted thoughts and memories swirling in your mind. All of your insecurities starting to surface. Hinata noticed the shift in the air immediately. It was hard not to as your hands grabbed at the counter for some stability. Your eyes trained on the surface, voice caught in your throat. How do you respond to that.

If there’s one thing about Hinata that is certain it’s that’s he’s incredibly caring. He moved around the corner of the counter standing next to your side placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hey Y/N are you okay! Was it something I said? I’m real sorry ya know!” You turn to him tears brimming in your eyes. He doesn’t speak again or ask you to just pulling you into him as you bury your face into his chest as you sob. He places a reassuring hand your back rubbing soothing circles onto your back hoping to help calm you.

It feels nice and it helps a lot more than you expected. Although guilt starts to build as you realize your crying in front of a man you only know through sex. God this is embarrassing. Before you can try to retreat. Sho navigates you to his sofa. After relaxing into the cushions you look up at him. While he’s trying to look calm and reassuring you can sense the worry in him.

He takes this moment to speak. “ you know you can talk to me Y/N I’ll listen to you about whatever you have going on, no judgment.” You sigh looking up at him. Looking up into his eyes you don’t know why you aren’t more hesitant but it honestly feels like you can tell him anything. And so you do. You tell him almost everything. Leaving out names and some of the more gory details. You tell him all about your heartache. And he sits and listens to you intently. Although he didn’t show it he was furious with how you had been treated. But he didn’t want to interrupt your venting. It felt really nice to actually talk to someone about everything and how you feel and Sho was amazingly supportive throughout the whole ordeal.

Wiping the mostly dried tears from your cheeks you gave Hinata a soft smile. “ thank you Shoyo I’m sorry I dropped all of this on you, it probably not what you signed up for.” You gave a nervous chuckle.

He returned your smile, looking at you earnestly, he gripped your shoulder gently making you look up at him. “Hey none of that non sense! You can always talk to me no matter what!” He smiled.

Your eyes shinned up at him with a forgotten emotion. “Really?” You questioned

His smile grew even bigger “Yeah! Absolutely! What are friends for!” He beamed!

Friends.... why did that word give you a pang in your chest.

Home Masterlist

Tagglist: @animeboihoe @karlitabi-rrito @mutli-fandom-fanfic @comically-sleep-deprived @madmelle @momoinot @eggbutnotyolk k @yunhosblackgf @6sakusa @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @a-fucking-simp @its-babybitch @sakusasonlywife e @japanushiiiii @dekuspet @sredamancy @haikyuusimp91 @shoyosbitchh @far-off-dream @tsukkisfatsimp @nestlevanilla @simply-not-the-same @porcolie @uwubby-1 @ahopefulbouquetcollection @graykageyama @elianetsantana @allykat7599 @airybnb @wonhomarshmallow @minnieminnie00-got7 7 @weebtato @toshiswifey @takeyin-withyang @zero-nightshade @mrskags @ilhy2003 @neonartbat-1316 @isleofnajera @boosyboo9206 @chocoshek @bbypebble @roschea-arts @haikyuu-love-ships @memekingofwwiii @ems1des @the3rdstalltoilet @gabixiio @peacchfuz @m-i-n-t-y-fresh @onechichirya @itoshiwhore @plusultra2dwhore @oranoyaora @x-enia @annie-sae @tlhinthemaking @tightpussymikasa @spoiledskittles @nstr4wb

[illyaana]

Hey... Could you maybe... Could you make a oneshot consisting of Bakugou's older sibling reader (I'd prefer it to be gender neutral with a more masculine style, however you prefer) x Midnight? 🥺🥺 I love her so much and Horikoshi did her dirty. You can do whatever oneshot that you want/comes to mind, I just want something fluffy. Thank you UwU

Udk how much I squealed getting this as my first ask!

(also whoever you are you made my day/week/month (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ)

I agree, Horikoshi did her dirty. She had some moments but that was IT. I tried my best, hope you like it!!

(it's more of a you being a hero and being in a relationship with Nemuri rather than a one-shot surrounding your relationship, but there's a bunch of fluffy stuff at the end, so gehe-)

Tags: Midnight x Bakugo's Older Sibling! Reader, Binaural, Fluff, Minor Cursing, Mentions of Blood

Your Quirk: Liquid Maker - You conjure a liquid in your hands (smtg like sweat) when you want to and it can become anything. Name it, you got it hun <3

Synopsis: You are a hero (obviously gehe-) and you were catching some villains. Suddenly a huge explosion came from the middle of Musutafu and you headed straight to the crime scene.

Word Count: 2163

SFW Masterlist ◍ Navigation ◍ Requesting Guidelines ◍ Ask here!

You woke up to the sweet smell of smoke coming from the living room. Groaning, you got off your comfortable bed and raced to the living room to stop Bakugo from his daily antics.

"You really got to stop doing this in the morning, Katsuki," you told the younger male, "It's literally," you looked at the clock, "8 am in the morning and my half-asleep self could've gotten hurt stopping you from breaking all hell loose."

Katsuki scoffed while looking at you. "Why aren't you at work yet? As you said, it's already 8 am."

"Later shift today! I only start at around 10 am."

"Wow, aren't you lucky?" Katsuki said as he walked towards the stove, "I'm making pancakes, but I won't make even one for you until you go bathe. You look disgusting."

"Okay, okay." You say, raising your hands and rushing to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

After bathing, you head back into your room and began to wear your skin-tight hero suit.

You groaned slightly as you slowly pulled the form-fitting clothing up your body.

"I swear to God this isn't getting easier."

"You are literally a fatass, so I'm not surprised," you heard Katsuki scream from the kitchen, "I pity Midnight. The fact she needs to be around a literal piece of garbage who doesn't even look good."

"At least I have someone, unlike your childish ass."

"I am a child," he retorted.

You sigh as you open your room door and head back to the kitchen.

"One day, you're going to wish you were nicer to the people around you."

"Maybe," Katsuki said while passing you a plate with a stack of three pancakes, "...but I am pretty sure you aren't going to be one of them, judging by how much you baby me."

"But you are a child! Didn't you say so a few minutes ago?" you say as you pinch his cheeks, earning a growl from him, "Woah, calm down dog."

"Shut up and eat, fatass."

You chuckle at his words and proceed with the order given by your younger brother.

You loved getting later shifts on Fridays. These were the quieter days in the Bakugo household. Mom usually took her extra days off on Fridays like today, extending her weekend. Dad left for work earlier on Fridays but he'd always buy some spicy thing for Katsuki and you to have in the morning. Something to wish us a good day, I presume. And to top it all off, you and Katsuki would have these "sibling" moments, which mostly consisted of you annoying him to the point he'd lash out at you.

"You're a really good cook, Katsuki. These pancakes keep getting better!" you compliment the 10-year old.

And there it was: you entertainment of the day - Katsuki trying to say thank you but failing miserably thanks to his own pride as a "man".

"T-than- that's obvious, isn't it?" he ends, a blush present on his face, "I make pancakes every single time you have a later shift because you like it. If I'm getting better, that means you've been getting more later shifts. That means you've been slacking off, you stupid Pro Hero!"

"...how did you even get to that idea?"

After calming down a raging Katsuki, you put on your gear and head to the entrance of the house.

"Have a good day at school, Katsuki. Don't do anything you'd regret," you playfully warn him before leaving the house.

The streets of Musutafu were usually peaceful. Ever since All Might became the Symbol of Peace, the crime rates have dropped extensively. Yet, there are always one or two little naughty kids that wanted to play with their quirks - or in simpler terms, people who act like kids and try to do minor crimes using their quirks.

Using the liquid formed in your hands, you aimed at the legs of the two running males in black and wrap their legs together. Within a second, the liquid instantly formed into a rope and bounded their legs together, forcing them to fall face down.

"You both gave me a good morning run, thanks for that!" You say as you place two handcuffs around their wrists, "But you should seriously think about another hobby besides stealing."

From afar, you heard a loud boom coming from the middle of Musutafu.

In an instant, you formed another bunch of rope and tied the two males around their waist and pushed them to the corner of a building.

"Run away and you'll get more than just jail time," you say as you rush off to the scene.

The minute you reached the scene, your eyes widened in fear.

Endeavor was the reason behind the whole catastrophe here?

From behind, you felt a pair of soft hands touch your shoulder.

"I know what it looks like, but trust me it isn't," Nemuri started, "A villain that has a mind control quirk is controlling Endeavor from a distance. I've been trying to locate them, but no luck."

You smiled, looking at your girlfriend.

"You managed to get all of that in a few seconds?" you ask, amazed, "I got a good one, didn't I?"

You felt Midnight pinch you from behind.

"As much as I appreciate the compliment, now isn't the time to flirt with me," the female hero said.

You nod, washing away the playful smile.

"You get all the civilians out of here and contact the heroes through the network. I'll try to get him down and knock him out," you say. Nemuri nodded and began to gather the civilians away from the scene.

"Now," you turn to face the 2nd best hero, "How does one take down someone much, much more stronger than you?"

You slowly gathered your liquid in your palm, allowing the fluid to grow in volume.

"You defeating Endeavor would be a sight to behold, not going to lie here," the villain said through Endeavor, "But I am willing to test out that theory."

You lunged at the fire user while creating a fire-resistant rope to tie him down in your hand. In the other, you managed to conjure a Haladie sword - a sword you've trained with ever since your days in UA.

Using the sword, you managed to propel yourself above Endeavor and cut his back. Using the momentum you built, you used both your feet to hit the back of Endeavor's knees, forcing him to kneel.

You immediately stabbed his dominant hand, preventing him from reacting quickly.

With a snap, the Haladie sword transformed back into its liquid state and wrapped around his left hand.

"I was never planning on defeating Endeavor but merely securing him, dear villain of mine," you say as you transformed the liquid around his left hand into a quick-cancelling glove, "It’s one point for Y/N, right now. No point for little Mindy over here."

You began to build up more liquid in your hands to hopefully form another Haladie sword or at least a blade.

The controlled Endeavor began to get up slowly and turn to face you.

"I didn't peg you to be a dumb one, Y/N."

You felt a blade pierce through your stomach.

A civilian sobbed as they pressed the blade deeper into your body, your blood dripping onto their office coat.

"I can't believe you let your guard down so easily. It was your fault to assume I could only control one person at a time, little hero," the controlled civilian said midst crying.

"And that will be your downfall," Endeavor said as small flames began to grow from the palm of his right hand.

The knife that once was in your body was violently ripped out of your body by the controlled civilian and then used to kill themself by piercing their heart.

Tears fell as you saw the now lifeless male bleed to death right beside you.

"Oh don't worry," Endeavor said, "I'll make sure you also go with him, too. That small wound won't kill you, I know that."

You saw Midnight running towards you along with Eraserhead and All Might.

"You know, I always pictured you crying over a dead Nemuri Kayama whilst bleeding from your stomach, have you?"

Your eyes widened at the statement.

There was no way you were going to let that villain kill her.

"Eraser," you screamed, "Erase his quirk and get Midnight out of here."

'Please don't fail on my now, buddy,' you told to your body as you ran towards Endeavor, 'You still have to live for the people you love.'

You quickly formed another Haladie sword and vaulted from the floor towards Endeavor.

You managed to grab the hand aimed at Midnight and pushed it towards you. Using the remainder fluid you had, you formed another quirk-cancelling glove on Endeavor's right hand.

You could hear a sigh of relief from both Nemuri and Shouta, making you smile.

From afar, you heard All Might saying that he caught the villain that was controlling both the civilian and Endeavor. You were shocked when you heard the number one hero's laugh of victory.

You were amazed at the skill the male had.

A villain that took two people to search for was found by him in a few minutes.

Soon, the wound formed by the dead civilian began to take effect as your vision became hazy.

Before you could lose consciousness, you felt Nemuri's hands wrap around you, catching you before you fell.

When you woke up, you heard the sound of hospital monitors beeping. You felt a small hand gripping around your left hand.

"Why did you let them stab you, idiot," you heard your younger brother say, "Don't go teaching me a lesson with your death - it won't work."

You chuckled, looking at the younger blonde. "If this doesn't work on you, I don't know what will."

Katsuki began to sob on your blanket while gripping on the four fingers his small fingers could grip.

"It's okay, Kacchan," you saw a green-haired boy patting his back, "He is here and he is alive. That is all that matters, okay?"

You smiled, looking at the greenette.

"What's your name?" you ask him.

"I'm Izuku Midoriya! I'm friends with Kacchan," he says with a beaming smile.

"Kacchan, huh?" you tease, "You are really close friends with Kacchan, aren't you?"

Before Izuku could reply, you felt Katsuki pinch your leg.

"I don't even know why I care for you, you fatass."

"Oh, how you wound me," you feign sadness as the ten-year-olds left your room.

You smile at the sight of the greenette consoling your brother as they walk out of the room.

You look up to the ceiling, sighing.

"You are a bit too young to be sighing so loudly, Y/N," Nemuri said as she slowly opened the door, "I saw what you did there. Don't tease Katsuki so often, he is quite mature for his age, you know?"

You smile, looking at Nemuri with her hands on her waist.

"He's growing too fast. I need small moments like this to remember how innocent he is before he becomes the raging little twit I know he'll become."

"Woah, Woah, Woah," she says, laughing, " 'Raging little twit'? You really are a bad brother."

You begin laughing, "I have to be the playful one or else the Bakugo's would be a family of three brooding people and one peaceful man."

"True."

Your eyes widen.

"You aren't supposed to agree, you know?"

"My mother taught me not to lie," she says, smiling.

"Well, white lies aren't bad."

She sits beside you and holds your hand. Tears slowly escape her eyes as she looks at you.

"You are okay, right?" She says, sniffling.

You slowly wipe off her tears and put the palm of your hand on her cheek.

"I'm fine, Nemuri."

You slowly move towards her and place a kiss on her forehead.

You pat the empty side of your bed, "Want to join me?"

She slowly nods as she walks to the empty side of the bed and gets in. Her legs immediately wrap around your left leg as she places her head against your chest. Her left hand extends around your waist and hugs you.

"What are you, a koala?" you joke.

"What can I say? You are a comfy tree."

"Well, I am glad to be of service."

Soon, Nemuri goes to sleep. Soft snores can be heard from her as she rubs her head against your chest.

'The koala became a cat,' you thought to yourself.

Your right-hand goes to the top of her head, ruffling her hair.

"I love you so much, Nemuri Kayama. I always will. If I had to, I would gladly lay my life down so that you'd be safe. I know you're asleep and probably can't hear this, but you are the most important thing in my life - don't forget that," you tell her sleeping figure as you fall asleep.

[thisissirius]

👀👀👀 "don't be scared, I'm right here" pls dear siri

take you over anybody else [ao3 link] eddie/buck, minor injuries, hurt/comfort

for my darling @capseycartwright :)

The truck is tense. 

Eddie’s not looking at him, face turned to the window, and he’s got a hand on his knee. Buck’s used to sitting close to him, easier to touch, jostle, and generally mess around. Now, he’s on the other side of the cab and Buck’s never been so aware of the distance. 

“Eddie,” he says, desperate to make things right. 

“I don’t want to talk about it here,” Eddie says, tone clipped, and Buck can see the look Hen and Chimney share. 

Ignoring them, he sighs, knows he should let it rest, but he doesn’t want them to go into a burning building with this hanging over them. “If you would just let me explain—”

“What’s to explain?” Eddie snaps. “You don’t think I’m making the correct choices in my life or in Christopher’s life. You apparently think I should mourn Shannon forever. I’m not allowed to get hurt, so you don’t want me making my own choices.” When he stares at Buck, Buck feels it cut deep, stealing his breath. “Did I forget anything?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Buck snaps back, because if Eddie will just listen—

Eddie snorts, turns away and what the fuck, Buck’s trying to fix this. 

“Look at me,” Buck says. 

“Both of you, quiet,” Bobby says, his voice cutting through the cab. Eddie ducks his head, embarrassed, and Buck looks out of the window, skin crawling. He hates when he and Eddie fight, when they’re not a unit. It makes everything else feel wrong. 

They jump out of the truck as it arrives, Bobby immediately taking charge. “Buckley, Diaz, you take the basement.”

Eddie looks irritated, but his face smooths out and Buck takes his cue; they’ve worked together and been pissed off. They can do this. Eddie stares up at the sky, as if bracing himself, and when he looks at Buck there’s an expression on his face that Buck doesn’t understand. “Let’s go.”

Buck follows, willing to sink into the headspace of firefighter. He calls out, does the sweeps with Eddie. There’s a groaning from above and Buck looks up, doesn’t like how bent and warped the wood is. “Eddie,” he says. “We should move quickly.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, and Buck tries not to let on that he’s surprised. “You’re right. Let’s get out of here.”

This time it’s Buck leading the way, and he heads back towards the stairs. There’s a lot of clutter in the basement and Buck makes a mental note to tell the inhabitants to clean up and make access easier. He says as much to Eddie. “—don’t know why people don’t wanna navigate the place they keep their laundry shit,” he mutters. 

There’s a snort from behind him—amused or pissed off, Buck can’t tell—and then a creak. 

“Shit,” Eddie says. Then, “Buck!”

Something creaks above, a noise that makes Buck panic, and then nothing.        

_____________

Buck snaps awake abruptly, and immediately wishes he hadn't. Pain shoots through his stomach, down his side and he groans. 

"Easy," someone says to his left. 

Eddie, Buck thinks. There's a dull pain in the back of Buck's head and he opens his eyes slowly, immediately scared when he can't see anything. "Eddie," he says, voice shaking. "I can't see." 

"It's dark," Eddie replies, and Buck can see movement, an arm in his periphery. "We're trapped." 

"Fuck." Buck can feel weight on his stomach, along his left side, underneath his body. "We fell?" 

Eddie snorts, a noise filled with pain and Buck tries to find his face in the darkness. "More like something fell on us." 

Okay. This is fine. Buck's eyes adjust to the darkness and he can see rubble and wood crashed around them, and through it, Eddie's face. There's dirt on one cheek, except Buck doesn't think it's dirt. "You're hurt?" 

Eddie doesn't say anything for a moment, which is all the answer Buck needs. Then, quietly, "so are you." 

Frowning, Buck says, "what?" He's fairly sure he'd know if he was injured. "I'm fine," he continues, running his hands over his chest, down to his stomach and yeah, everything's not okay.

"Hey," Eddie's voice snaps through Buck's awareness. "Listen to me, Buck, breathe for me, okay?" 

Hyperventilating, Buck thinks. Embarrassing. 

"Don't be scared," Eddie says, his voice thick. "I'm right here, Buck, okay? I'm right here." 

Eddie's here. 

Buck's okay as long as Eddie's here. 

Breathing finally evening out, Buck wraps his fingers around the pole currently stuck in his side and stomach and swallows down the urge to throw up. It doesn't hurt, which should probably worry him, but he turns his head, looks at Eddie. "We're getting out of this?" 

"We are," Eddie says, with a certainty that surprises Buck. Eddie doesn't lie to him.

Which means, back in the truck—

“I’m sorry,” Buck says immediately, because he needs Eddie to know. 

Eddie grunts, like he’s trying to move, and when Buck looks, he can see rocks and rubble tumbling away from Eddie. “For what?”

Buck swallows, thinks of their argument in the truck, Bobby’s voice cutting across them, telling them to stow it and work it out later. “You can make your own choices.”

"it doesn't matter,” Eddie says immediately. There’s another shift of rocks, this time on the other side of Eddie. Buck frowns, realises Eddie’s trying to protect him from falling rocks and can’t stop the words spilling out of his mouth. 

“I didn’t mean to, I just wanted you to know.”

“Buck,” Eddie says, sounding wrecked. “It doesn't matter. Whatever happened before, i just wanna make sure you're alright."

The words sound good, so Buck drifts on them. He concentrates on breathing, on not passing out because he doesn’t think Eddie’ll be happy if he does. There’s a scuffing noise and then oh. “Hi, Eddie.”

Eddie’s got blood on one side of his face, a gash over his eye and nose, but he’s got his hands on Buck’s face. “I’m here.”

It’s a lot; Eddie’s fingers are soft, the worry on his face too much and Buck finds himself sobbing, clinging to Eddie. His side throbs, every small movement a wrench on his stomach. 

“I’m here,” Eddie says again, a hand in Buck’s hair, his eyes running over Buck. 

“I do know why I said those things,” Buck whispers, needs to get the words out. His vision is starting to grey and he doesn’t want to leave Eddie alone. “I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to hurt like me.” 

Eddie looks surprised, brows drawn together. His lips part, as if he’s going to say something, and then he shakes his head. “It’s okay,” he says, pressing his lips to Buck’s forehead. “We can talk about it if you want, but we don’t need to. I know you, Buck. I know you’re hurting. I just wish you’d found an easier way to tell me.” 

“I’m sorry,” Buck sobs. 

“I know, Buck, I know.” Eddie’s hand is soft in his hair and Buck drifts. There’s a sharp sting on his scalp. “Stay with me, alright? Talk to me.”

Buck opens his mouth, closes it. When he speaks, the words aren’t ones he wants to fall between them. “I want you to love me like you love her."

There’s silence. Well, there’s silence between then. Buck can hear yells and noises, indistinct from above and around them; their crew, coming to get them. He blinks slowly, hand reaching for Eddie. Eddie takes it blindly, but he immediately focuses on Buck. 

“There’s not even a contest,” he says, and he sounds hoarse, scared. 

Buck doesn’t know what to do. “Eddie—”

“I don’t love her,” Eddie says, fast, as if he’s scared he’s not going to be able to. Buck wants to tell him it’s alright, he understands, but Eddie drops a glove, gets his warm, long fingers on Buck’s face. He holds his chin, taps lightly with his forefinger and Buck struggles to focus. “Buck, I don’t love her. We’ve been on dates but I know—I don’t know why I’m saying this, I should just—I love you, Buck, you hear me?”

“It’s okay,” Buck says. He wants to reassure Eddie that it’s okay, that Buck’s okay with it, when the words register. “What.”

Eddie’s smile is soft, tinged with fear and sadness, but he leans down, kissing Buck softly. “I love you, so you stay awake for me, yeah? I wanna talk to you later.”

Buck doesn’t know what to say. He thinks he’s crying, can feel Eddie’s fingers move to his cheek, brushing them away. “I don’t feel so good.”

“i know,” Eddie says, and he leans in, touches their foreheads together. “I’m here, alright? I’m not going anywhere.”

Nodding, Buck lets his lips linger against Eddie’s and tries to hang on. 

— — — — — —

This time, Buck comes back to consciousness slowly. 

There’s a dull ache in his side and stomach this time, something warm weighing him down. Opening one eye slowly, Buck keeps it half-lidded, stunned by the light. He’s in hospital, which doesn’t surprise him. Neither does Eddie, half asleep on top of Buck. 

Buck smiles, lifts a hand to Eddie’s head. “Hi.”

Eddie snaps up, blinking away sleep and immediately lets out a breath. His smile is slow but bright. “You gotta stop ending up here.”

“I said we should leave,” Buck protests. Not my fault your heavy ass takes forever to move—”

Eddie slaps a hand over his mouth, gentle, and raises an eyebrow. “Don’t pretend you hate my ass.”

Licking at Eddie’s palm, Buck laughs when Eddie makes a disgusting face, pulling back and wiping his hand on the bedsheets. Buck stares at him, at the still-fresh gash across his eye. “Is it gonna scar?”

Frowning, Eddie pauses, then touches a self-conscious hand to his face. “It was deep,” he admits. “They’re not sure.”

Probably, then. Buck touches a hand to Eddie’s face, thumb hovering above the scar. “You’ll still look hot.”

Eddie licks at his bottom lip, heat in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“You always have,” Buck admits quietly. 

It doesn’t take much prompting for Eddie to lean in, kiss Buck softly. His fingers are on Buck’s jaw, sliding down to his pulse point. “I’m sorry.”

Buck shakes his head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“I thought you needed time,” Eddie admits. “I wasn’t leading Ana on but—Bobby said I should move on,” he explains quietly, eyes dropping to the bedsheets. “You weren’t, everything had happened with your parents and I wasn’t sure you’d ever be ready for me.”

“Eddie,” Buck says quietly, a hand in Eddie’s hair. “Look at me?”

Slowly, Eddie lifts his gaze, and Buck knows there’s a lot they need to talk about, a lot they need to go through, but right now, he just wants to be. 

“I’m ready.”

— — — — — — — —

“Is Chris home?” Buck asks. He’s leaning against Eddie, Eddie’s arm around his waist as they walk up the drive. 

Eddie nods, grabbing the keys from his pocket. He helps Buck up the step and his hand slips down to Buck’s waist as he opens the door. “Yeah. I knew you’d wanna see him.”

Buck doesn’t think he can love Eddie more. The words are right on the tip of his tongue, it would be so easy if they slipped out. 

“Bucky!”

Christopher is careful when he hugs Buck, and Eddie drifts away, probably to get things settled. “Are you okay?”

“I’m getting there,” Buck says gently. He kisses the top of Chris’ head and then Eddie’s back, arm at the base of Buck’s spine. 

“Come on,” Eddie says. He’s careful of the padding on Buck’s hip, his stomach, where the lingering wounds are protected. Eddie takes him to the bedroom and Buck’s breath hitches when he sees the pillows stacked up, the comfortable place Eddie’s carved for him in the bed. 

“Eddie,” he says, hates how easily he’s been crying lately. 

Eddie laughs gently, but it’s not cruel. He wipes at Buck’s face, kisses him. “Come on, in the bed.”

They manage to get him situated in the middle of the bed, Eddie on his left side, Chris on the right. Eddie’s got a small TV in the room, courtesy of Buck trying to make Eddie’s bedroom look lived in, and he turns it on, giving Buck a look. 

“Disney?” Buck asks Chris. 

Chris nods, and they argue good-naturedly over the movie until they settle on one. Eddie’s got snacks and drinks, and when they’re all settled, he moves closer, helping Buck lean against him. Buck wants more; he slides and moves, wincing the few times he pulls on his stomach, but groans when he finds the perfect position, tucked under Eddie’s chin. 

It’s easy to relax; Chris keeps up a steady stream of chatter, pressed up against Buck’s right side. Eddie’s warm around him, arm over his shoulders, lips against his head, fingers rubbing down Buck’s spine. Buck drifts in a doze, comfortable and warm, the sounds sending him further into sleep. 

— — — — — —

Chris kisses Buck’s shoulder and climbs out of bed, trying to be careful, and looks at Eddie. “Will you say goodnight?" 

Eddie nods. "Go get ready for bed, I'll be in soon."

Chris makes his way out of the bedroom. Eddie smiles, running a hand through Buck's hair, down the nape of his neck. "Buck?" 

Buck barely twitches. He's dead to the world, hand curled in Eddie's shirt, breathing even against Eddie's collarbone. Gently, Eddie tries to extricate himself from Buck, but as he gets Buck situated on the pillow, he groans, eyes opening slowly. "Eddie?" 

"Just saying goodnight to Chris," Eddie tells him. He kisses him gently, thumb rubbing over his cheek. "I'll be right back." 

Buck looks upset and Eddie's heart breaks. Frowning, Buck reaches for him. "Where you going?" 

"To Chris," Eddie says again, tries to make Buck understand. "It's bedtime." 

Abruptly Buck's face changes and he blinks, stares to the other side of the bed. "I fell asleep?" 

"Yeah," Eddie says, then rests a hand on Buck's shoulder when he tries to move. "Stay put. Chris says you can hug him extra hard in the morning." 

Buck still looks petulant but he nods, finally lets Eddie go. "Come back?" 

"Soon," Eddie promises.

— — — — — — —

Buck feels cold when Eddie leaves the room, but he shifts onto his right side, groaning as he stretches out. He still aches, can feel pain starting to creep into his awareness and he knows he needs to take some meds. 

Move. He needs to move. Roll out of bed maybe, he can say goodnight to Chris and—

There’s a hand back in his hair, Eddie’s lips against the skin beneath his ear, his jaw. “Sit up for me?”

“M’kay,” Buck says, still half-asleep, but lets Eddie help him sit up. There’s a glass of water and some painkillers in Eddie’s hands and Buck lets out a sob. “You’re amazing.”

Eddie laughs gently, waits for Buck to take the meds and finish half the water. He rests it on the dresser and it takes Buck a moment to realise Eddie’s changed for bed. 

“I fell asleep?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “You need to shower?”

“Brush my teeth,” Buck says with a groan, grateful when Eddie helps him up. He thinks he might get used to it, leaning against Eddie, hearing Eddie’s soft murmurs. 

It’s not until they’re climbing into bed, Buck finding a position that’s comfortable, and Eddie wraps around him, Buck’s ear to Eddie’s chest. 

“I love you,” Buck says quietly, rubbing a hand over Eddie’s chest. 

There’s a smile in Eddie’s voice as he whispers, “I love you too.”

Buck drifts off to sleep, safe in the circle of Eddie’s arms. 

[ssa-sugar-tits]

Ten Years (ch. 3)

Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 4

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Content warnings: hospital, cursing, angst

a/n: i feel like this chapter's a little long, sorry!

Despite the multiple half-assed orders from Hotch and Rossi, the sincere begging from JJ and Penelope, and the concerned pushes from Emily and Derek, you refuse to leave the hospital until Spencer wakes up. You can't bring yourself to eat or sleep or even stop to breathe knowing something's so terribly wrong with him. For fuck's sake, all he did was hit his head. There is no plausible reason you can think of that he wouldn't have woken up yet. Drenched in your own exhausted tears and practically shaking with worry, there's a harrowing pit in your stomach. You've been waiting 42 hours and counting with no sign of improvement. He has a mild concussion and will need a few stitches where he bled but he "should be fine." They told you over and over again. And Hotch was forced to step in when you had enough of the empty bullshit in the atmosphere.

"If he's fine, why the hell hasn't he woken up? A mild concussion doesn't fucking do this to someone!" It's simple. The doctors don't know. They don't know how to help your husband. All they can do is spew false reassuring lies at you while they do absolutely nothing. More lengthy hours pass and an MRI is ordered. The same unsurprising thing: nothing's wrong with him. But what are they going to do? Send him away unconscious? No, they're just going to stand around pretending they know what they're fucking doing. You jump at the feeling of a cold hand tapping on your shoulder.

"Hey, it's just me." You look up to see Derek with a dreadfully morbid look on his face, one with tones of anger. "Mind if I sit with you?" Nowhere near able to speak, you try to give him an inviting smile but all you do is lift the corner of your quivering lips slightly. He gets the hint, which he probably would have missed had he not known you so well, and sits down beside you. Staring over at your husband, you hear Derek's head thump against the wall. The feelings you both have are of utter uselessness. Sure, there have been worse situations but... there's nothing either of you can do at all. There's no reasoning here. Well, to your knowledge. Spencer is the only one that knows what's going on. And it's ripping him apart. To not know what happened to his beloved mentor or remember any of the precious moments he's had with Y/N. He hasn't been able to watch the team he remains loyal to change and grow. He just woke up one day and was hurled into this shitty situation. He laughs out of despair at his own shortcomings and lack of comprehending what's been done to him. Y/N and Derek's heads both snap up at the unexpected sound, hopeful and desperate for a sign that Spencer's back. No such luck at first but Derek goes to get the nurse while you navigate your way to your husband's side.

"Love, it's me. I don't know if you can hear me. But whatever this is, whatever's stressed you out so much that you're... literally blocking out the entire fucking world... it'll be okay. I love you Spencer and I promise I always will. Please be okay for me." A disappointed sigh leaves you. Honestly, what did you expect? For him to wake up because you said you love him? This isn't a fucking fairytale Y/N. Derek returns with a nurse who confirms it must have been an unconscious movement so no hope there. Propping your head up with your arm, you try to get some rest for the first time since you arrived. After two more sickening hours pass, you're shaken awake by a nurse.

"Yeah?" you yawn before remembering where you are. Blinking rapidly, you open your eyes fully and look up at the nurse.

"Miss, your husband is awake." He directs a smile at you before exiting the room, leaving you to rush over to Spencer who's already sitting up and muttering to himself.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Tears threaten to fill your eyes when you place a hand on his shoulder and he turns away from your touch.

"I'm fine, th-thank you. Excuse me, doctor?" He waves over the doctor and asks her, "Can I leave now?" She looks a bit startled as if she didn't expect him to want to leave.

"Mr. Reid--"

"Doctor," you correct.

"Ahem, Doctor Reid, our tests have come back fine and healthy but to be frank... We aren't entirely sure why you were unconscious for so long. If you'd like to stay and rest, we'd welcome-- no we strongly suggest that's what you do." You open your mouth to say something but Spencer answers her.

"If I can go then I'd like to now, thanks." It's difficult to process when he's discharged and barely even greets his team that was worried sick. Asking you silently with their sweet glances if he's okay, you can't respond. All you manage to do is bite your lip and shrug before driving him home. Spencer doesn't say a word and the silence is deafening. Incomprehensible even because since when is he this fucking quiet?

"Spence?" You say, not taking your eyes off the road. "Don't you think we should talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"What do you fucking think? So much for genius." An exasperated sigh escapes you before you realize you're being harsh. "I'm sorry I don't mean to snap at you. I was just..."

"Stressed?" He offers, sounding awfully sad.

"Yeah. Stressed," you sigh once more. Your worry slips away for a moment and he presses a kiss to your cheek. His lips brush against your face and you swear he lingers as if wanting to say something but he goes back to staring out the window. Once in the apartment, you expect him to want to rest or at least, spend time with his wife who's been going fucking insane the past couple of days but he locks himself in his office. Giving up, you walk to the bedroom and leave him be.

Spencer speedily walks around the room collecting books, paper, a pen, and even a laptop. It's time to figure out what's going on. First, he reads about the BAU. He learns a lot about Emily Prentiss and how Elle and Gideon left the bureau. Another piece of information he finds is that David Rossi has been apart of the team for 8 years. Hotch's wife is dead and Jack-- the baby he met once briefly is now 10 years old, living alone with Hotch. Going through photo albums and keepsakes he discovers, he finds that his relationships really have grown over the years and so have yours. Who would've thought that the emotionless, serious Aaron Hotcher would walk his wife down the aisle? Agent Prentiss, he saw, was your maid of honor and Morgan was his best man. A small child held JJ's hand and with context, he came to the conclusion that she had a child now. And his eyes land on you. He traces a hand over the photo, cherishing a memory he doesn't have. You look perfect in that wedding dress. The viel falls on your head gracefully. Your smile radiates off the page and he can't help not feeling a sense of loss. You two are happy together and he doesn't remember a second of it. Ironic, isn't it? He thinks. Moving on to the why this is happening, he reads heaps of material for hours straight, faster than someone else would be able to, but still feels like he's getting nowhere. All he has to go off of is the date and theories he's found on forums and in old books. Suddenly its too much and he throws a book across the room, wincing at the sharp thud when it hits the wall. Spencer buries his frustrated face in his hands and lets out a long, deep breath. Y/N. Guilt washes over him as he realizes, this isn't any easier for you. You've spent the past 10 years forming a relationship with your Spencer and you woke up to a distant stranger. If he's going to figure this out, he needs to adjust. Adjust to being with you, the team, this new life of his. Just until he figures things out, right? Settling on going to lay with you-- his wife, he reminds himself-- he hears what sounds like muffled sobs. He opens the bathroom door cautiously and his heart drops to his feet at the sight in front of him. You're sitting in the bathtub, half-dressed crying quietly into your knees and running your hands through your hair. Spencer kneels down beside you and wraps him arms around you tightly. You gasp softly and almost pull away but accept the embrace.

"I'm so sorry," he says sincerely against your hair. Your words come out strung together and your tongue twists while you try to explain how you've been feeling this week.

"N-No I just... I'm just worried about you Spence I'm s-so," you bite down on your quivering lip harshly to avoid choking on a sob and continue. "Everything's different a-and it's like it changed overnight. I don't know what the hell I did to fuck things up. Whatever I did, I'm so sorry." You bury your head deeper into your knees, smearing mascara into streamed lines down your cheeks. The guilt he feels smashes his heart into pieces and throws it to his feet. He said he has to adjust, didn't he? He'll start with you. Spencer already loved you, the only different thing now is that you love him too. His voice softens and he whispers into your ear, stroking your hair and intertwining his fingers with locks of it.

"You've done nothing wrong sweetheart," he assures you, surprising himself with a nickname. "I'll call Hotch and we'll take tomorrow off, just the two of us. We'll go on a date like we used to a-and we can do whatever you'd like. Anything, Y/N just let me take care of you. The way you deserve."

When he's finished, your eyes meet his and you hesitate before nodding. No words leave your mouth but it's as if you don't need them to speak. He helps you up and you make your way to the bed you share.

Falling asleep quickly, you melt into dreams of spending time together and starting to get back to normal. Spencer, on the other hand, is overcome with an intimidating shit load of anxiety. This isn't, in a million years, how he thought his first fucking date with Y/N Y/L/N would be. Then again, this type of... situation never even crossed his wildest dreams. Make the best of it, right? Yeah that's it. He'll do his best.

For you.

[thiswasinevitableid]

for the meet ugly prompts, 38 indruck nsfw ;)

Here you go!

38: I overhear you ordering your coffee in a coffee shop and I’m trying to place your voice when I realize that you’re the phone sex operator I’ve been calling on and off for the last few months but the realization startles me so much that I accidentally spill my drink on you and you’re pissed

Indrid thought he was having a normal day. He’s treating himself to a post work iced vanilla mocha, then he’ll go home, watch T.V and draw, maybe jerk off, then go to bed and get up in time for his eight a.m appointment tomorrow.

He’s messing around on his phone when the person placing their order catches his ear. There’s something in the drawl, polite and friendly, that feels weirdly familiar. It’s not a regular at the shop, and a glance at the mans face offers no useful information; he’s a complete stranger.

The barista asks something about the second drink, and the man replies, “as sweet as can be, please.”

“Ahnngod, please, please, please say I can cum?” Indrid’s been edging himself with the fleshlight so long his wrist is sore.

“Hmmm” the voice on the phone takes his sweet time answering, “dunno, not sure I punished you enough for teasin me in the bar.”

Indrid whimpers, hoping the neighbors can’t hear (even if he’d like them too, they haven’t consented to it).

This is how his calls to the 1-800-Hot-Guys line have gone ever since his first time. He asks for “Ryan,” gets a sweet, southern greeting before the other man asks what he’s in the mood for tonight. See, Indrid’s only recently begun exploring his interest in men, and is discovering that a better sense of his sexuality makes it much easier to get in touch with his other desires. Like being fucked in a bathroom stall where lots of people can hear what’s happening to him.

Ryan always takes the ideas generated by Indrid’s desire-addled brain and runs with them. Tonight, virginal Indrid Cold went to a leather bar and found a bear waiting for him (he suspects Ryan might be one in the real world, because when Indrid first revealed that preference his moans sounded a touch more genuine). The bear made him blow him in front of everyone to make sure he was worth taking home, then told him not to cum until he was done fucking him.

“Please?”

A chuckle, “Okay darlin, you can cum.”

Indrid’s certain he hurts Ryan's ear with the noise he makes as he spurts into the toy, but all the other man says is , “Good boy.”

After a moment, he adds, “aw fuck, meant to bring some spankin or somethin into the scene because I know you like it.”

“That’s, that’s quite alright. I’m not sure you could ever disappoint me.”

“Thanks, sugar.”

Indrid whines, hoping it sounds horny and not like the noise a man who’s just realized he’ll be sleeping alone makes.

“You like when I call you that? Because it’s true; you’re as sweet as can be”

As he’s been having its slow-motion realization, Indrid’s body has been going on autopilot, picking up his cup when the young woman behind the counter calls his name. Which means that--when Indrid startles at his revelation-- the cup is in perfect position to send its contents flying straight onto the man who caused it.

“AHfuck, jesus man be careful!”

“I, I’m so sorry, here, let me-” he slips in the puddle of coffee and hits the floor, kicking the other man in the shin on his way down.

“Owfuck, fuck, okay, don’t fuckin try to help again.” The man snaps.

“Nono, right, I’m sorry, goodbye” he scrambles up, sticky with shame and vanilla syrup, and hurries out of the shop.

--------------------------

Duck keeps an eye on his burner phone while playing Plants vs Bom-Boms on his real one. It’s shaping up to be another night with only two calls.

He took up the phone sex thing during the last government shutdown; the park had to furlough them, and he needed money. The extra cash was nice enough that he kept at it even after work started back up. He isn’t the most in-demand operator; he can’t lie, laughs a little too easily, so lots of callers don’t come to him a second time.

One of the few who does is Indrid. He’s Duck’s favorite because their fantasies align well enough that he actually jerks off while on the phone with him. But the guy hasn’t called in two weeks; this is a bummer, in part, because Duck came up with a scenario involving a pool table and a biker gang he thinks Indrid would really be into.

More than that, he’s worried about him.

He worries about him so much that even a half a day later he’s wondering if he should figure out how to have someone check on him. The coffee shop is conducive to thinking. Right up until the dipshit who spilled coffee on him a few weeks back plops down in the seat across from him.

“You here to ruin another shirt?”

The man, all silver hair and angular features, shakes his head, “Nono, I, I really am very sorry about that. I came to offer to buy you another.”

Duck points at his cup.

“Some other time?”

“You come here often?’

“Since I moved to the city, yes. I was out in the suburbs up until a few months ago.”

“Fine. Next time we see each other, you owe me a drink.”

He nods, nearly sliding his red glasses off his nose in his eagerness. Then he taps on the table, “There’s, ah, something else you should know. We already know each other. In a way.”

Duck frowns; he’s never seen this guy before, he’d remember his face.

“We talk on the phone. Often.”

Oh fuck.

“My name is, ah, it’s, it’s Indrid.”

“Jesus, glad you’re ok--hold the fuck on. How the fuck do you know who I am?”

“I recognized your voice the last time we were both here. I, I wanted to get to know you more but I felt it was only right to do so if you knew I knew who you were so you wouldn’t be uncomfortable, but you clearly are, I’m so sorry” he stands up, banging his knee in the process, “I promise I won’t call any more, I didn’t mean to be creepy, I’m sorry, goodbye.”

He’s out the door in a flash of long limbs before Duck has a chance to respond.

Duck sighs, downs the rest of his coffee, and decides not to dwell on the fact he’s going to miss Indrid’s calls.

--------------------------------------------------

Indrid’s excited. He really is.

It’s just that the sex club is even more overstimulating than he anticipated.

It was alright at first; when he replied that yes, this was his first time, the guy working the counter ushered him over to a set of blue velvet seats and told him to wait. Soon, Indrid and ten others were being given a rundown of the rules, risks, and etiquette of the space, their understanding of which they signed in a neatly typed contract.

Then they turned them loose into three stories of sexual exploration and Indrid froze, totally unable to process it all. Lucky for him Lucy, there with her girlfriend Willow, helped him navigate the edge of the first floor until they came to one of the “chill out” rooms; rooms for people for whom the club was as much a place to chat with friends as it was a place to get spanked or suspended. They even have juice.

After three separate people check to be sure he’s alright, he asks the trio on a nearby couch where he should go to if he’s interested in bondage and impact play. They all agree the second floor is his best bet, and that there’s a shibari demonstration starting soon.

To reach the demo room, Indrid passes though a portion of the space that reminds him of a hotel. The nice dominatrix explained the rules for their use as: doors and windows closed, leave us alone. Curtains open but door shut? You’re free to watch, but don’t come in. And if the door is open, you’re welcome to join whatever is happening. He pauses at some open windows, but nothing really catches his attention.

The demo room is already packed, so he stays at the back. A perk of being tall is he can see the couple on the little platform easily without blocking anyone else’s view. The dom is explaining why she chose the rope she did and what ties she’s going to show everyone. Indrid listens, but his eyes wander in hopes of finding someone checking him out.

Someone is. But Indrid isn’t sure it’s a good thing.

Duck stands a few bodies to his left, looking him up and down with a slight smile. Well, at least that means he doesn’t think he’s stalking him or something.

The other man meets his eyes, tips his head towards the nearby green room and raises an eyebrow. Indrid nods, picks his way through the crowd to find Duck has beaten him there.

“Y’know, if you’d told me you were into this scene, I coulda worked with that.” He polishes off his water and tosses the cup in the trash.

“I...this is my first time. Is, ah, is it yours?”

“Nah. Came some when I was younger, decided to come out tonight because I was bored and itchin’ to get someone cute in my lap.” The casual way he says it is a hundred times hotter than the practice voice he used on the phone.

“Ah. In, ah, in that case, would you mind if I asked you a question?”

“Shoot.” Duck leans against the wall, grinning.

“Am I dressed alright for this?” He gestures to his pink and yellow tank top and black jeans.

He watches Duck catch his laugh before it starts, which he appreciates.

“You’re dressed just fine, Indrid. I mean, just look at me.”

“I am” Indrid is having such a difficult time tearing his eyes from the way Duck’s white t-shirt fits his chest or how the bluejeans show off his ass. Duck catches him mid-ogle, which is all it takes to drop his gaze to the floor.

“C’mon, sit down with me a sec.” Duck settles on a grey couch, leaving Indrid space to join him, “feel like you and I got off on the wrong foot. You know I ain’t angry with you for tellin me you were a customer, right?”

Indrid shakes his head but sits down all the same.

“Indrid, you startled the hell outta me when you admitted that. For a second, I was sure you were gonna try to get somethin outta me by threatenin to tell my boss at my regular job. But then it was so fuckin clear all you were tryin to do was be straight with me and try to be polite about the drink thing, I wasn’t mad at all. You just up and bolted before I could say as much.”

“Ah. Yes. I, ah, I can be a bit of a walking disaster so I try to get out of situations before I make them even worse.”

Duck touches his hand, “I get bein’ spooked. Happens to everyone. But, uh, guess what I’m also gettin at is, uh, if you wanna actually get to know each other, I ain’t gonna complain.”

“I’d like that.”

“Okay” Duck scoots closer, “let’s start easy; what do you do when you ain’t callin me?”

Indrid tells him about the tattoo shop, which leads to them comparing ink, which in turn leads to Duck getting on a ten minute digression about native plants. They’re debating the best Cramps album (Duck votes for “Date With Elvis,” Indrid for “Off the Bone”) when they decide to stretch their legs, Duck holding Indrid’s hand as he weaves them through rooms and clumps of people.

They end up doing laps of the second floor, people watching, during which Duck nudges Indrid playfully, “Knew you were kiddin me with the never been fucked stuff.”

“Ah, well…”

“Holy fuck, you’ve never had sex and you picked here as the place to try? You got guts, sugar.”

Indrid blushes, “Well, yes and no. I’ve never had sex with another guy, but I feel confident in what kinds of things I want to try. You helped a lot with that; you made me feel safe enough to express and explore my more intense desires.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“I came here out of curiosity, and because I thought my chances were good of finding someone who shared my interests without running the gamut of dating.”

“So all that stuff about bein watched, bein roughed up and used, you, uh, you really like it?”

“Indeed. Do you like it too? I, ah, I assume you pretend to like everything when you work on a sex line.”

“You’re supposed to yeah. But I’ll let you in on a little secret” Duck leans close, whispers in his ear, “I never was much good at pretendin.”

“Oh. Oh my.” He leans against Duck, excitement making his legs unreliable.

“You want me to show you just how much I like it?”

“Please.”

Duck kisses his cheek, “Missed hearin you beg, sugar. C’mon.” He pulls Indrid two doors down to a room dedicated to impact play. People are sprawled and tied to crosses, benches, chairs, all of which look exciting. Duck doesn’t stop to consider them, doesn’t even hesitate on their trip. He stops at a table, one bolted to the floor, and digs through a nearby basket.

“Here it is” he pulls out a red blanket, holds it out for Indrid to test the texture.

“It’s lovely.”

“Good” Duck spreads it on the table, “you’ll be comfier this way. How naked do you wanna be?”

“Is just my underwear alright?”

Duck points to the completely nude person being spanked on his right and the fully clothed one being hit with a crop to his left.

“I meant with you.”

Duck sets his hands on Indrid’s hips, “as long as I get to see this cute ass in the air for me, I’ll be just fine.”

Indrid quickly strips to his boxer briefs, opts to leave them on for now. Duck licks his lips, pats the table. Indrid bends over it, feet planted on the floor.

“Gonna use just my hand tonight. Easier for me to feel how hard I’m hittin, and I wanna be able to grope you while I turn your ass red.”

He moans, tenses as Duck rubs soothing circles on his ass. The first few slaps are mild, Duck checking on him after each one. Then one comes, hard and sharp, and he gasps, hips momentarily twitching away from Duck.

“Still good?”

“So very good, more, pleaseAHgod” He clings to the far end of the table as Duck brings ten slaps down on each side before giving him a rest.

“Let’s see...how many times would you say you called me?”

“At, at least fifteen.”

“Fifteen times two, add a few extra for ghostin me…” Duck pets his lower back, “You’re gonna get forty on each side as punishment for not lettin me see you cum all those times you called. Think you can handle that?”

Indrid nods.

“Count.”

“AHone, two, th-three, Aaaah,god, fourfive…”

Indrid loses himself somewhere around “ten” on the second side; all his focus is on being good, on counting out each strike, on taking whatever Duck wants to give him. His heartbeat is loud in his ears and his skin stings from ass to thigh. Dimly, he hears spectators complimenting Duck on having such a well-trained sub.

“He is, ain’t he?” Duck lands the final blow with a grunt, keeps his hand there and squeezes. Indrid whimpers, the pain going straight to his already aching dick. Duck shifts his stance, still mercilessly groping the bruise but pressing his fly against the cleft of Indrid’s ass, making it abundantly clear Indrid isn’t alone in his arousal, “he fuckin knows who he belongs too.”

Indrid moans, tears pricking his eyes; Duck is wonderful, Duck is handsome, Duck is perfect, and Duck is claiming him instead of someone twice as attractive or experienced.

“I know, sugar, you like it when people see how good you are for me.” Duck crouches down, petting Indrid’s hair as he studies his face, “you wanna regroup and finish this at home? Or do you need me now?”

“Now?” Indrid raises his head hopefully. His voice is odd in his throat, vulnerable but not afraid in the slightest. Duck nods, helps him up, thanks the person who offers to clean-up the station since Indrid, “looks like he’ll hit the ground if you let go” and grabs Indrid’s clothes.

“No point in putting these back on. Not with what I’m gonna do to you.”

They find an unoccupied, cleaned room, Indrid flopping on the bed as Duck closes the door.

“You wanna prep yourself or do you want me to?”

“I, I can do it. And could we, ah, leave the curtains closed for this bit?”

“Course.” Duck draws the red fabric tight as Indrid fishes complimentary condoms and lube from the bowl on the table. He’s so wound up he starts with two, the stretch uncomfortable for a few instants before he gets himself to relax.

“You look so fuckin good doin that.” Duck is undressing, only taking his eyes off Indrid when his belt buckle resists him.

“I’ve had a lot of practice fingering myself while listening to you. I, I’d picture whatever person you told me to but I, none of it compares to you.”

Duck blushes as he pulls his pants off.

“I mean it. You, you’re so handsome I” he tenses, pushing the third finger in and fucking himself fast, “I can’t believe it. I,I want to be so good for you, Duck, please,” he’s babbling, decides to quit while he’s ahead, “is three enough?”

“You tell me.” Duck gestures to his dick with a flourish; it’s average length, he thinks, but combined with the dark hair on Duck’s belly and the strong curve of his thighs, it is the most glorious dick in all of creation.

“Yes, yesyes, please come over here now oh, wait, the curtains please?”

Duck whisks them open on his way to the bed, settles with his back against the wall before rolling the condom on with ease. He points to his lap, “You wanna face me?”

“Yes. I...I like the idea of people watching but I don’t think I can handle seeing their scrutiny just yet.” He straddles Duck, let’s the shorter grope his sore ass before guiding it down.

“You sure you wanna do this now?” Duck murmurs into his chest, “you don’t owe me your first time with a fella.”

Indrid kisses his forehead and sinks down in reply.

‘Fuck!” Duck grips his hips, laughs, “that’s a hell of an answer, sugar.”

“Nngh” Indrid’s whole brain goes offline at the feeling of Duck inside him.

“Dick drunk already?” Duck teases.

“YesAHGOD, god, ohmygoodness.” He clings to Duck’s shoulders as the other man fucks up into him with abandon.

“That’s just fine, ‘Drid. Got enough brains for the two of us; all you gotta do is be my cute, fucked-out toy.”

“Nffph” Indrid hides his face in Duck’s neck. His legs and ass, still sore from earlier, are reluctant to obey his mind, so all he can do is let Duck bounce him on his cock or hold him down on it to thrust up in short, demanding jerks of his body.

“We got an audience.”

Indrid tries to moan. It comes out a whimper.

“You want me to tell you what they’re doin?”

“Mmhhmm”

“Two of ‘em are makin out with one eye on you. The other three…” he nibbles Indrid’s ear, “they’re jerkin off to us. Don’t blame ‘em, you look so fuckin good on my dick they all wish they were me.”

“Duck” his cock keeps rubbing on Duck’s belly, threatening to spill before he’s ready.

“One of ‘em asks how you feel on my dick. You want me to tell him?”

“Please.”

“Fuckin’ great!” Duck yells, “it’s his first time and he’s” Duck grunts, bucks his hips, “so fuckin tight but takes it like a fucking champ. Gettin in this ass is a fuckin privilege.”

Indrid smiles into his skin at the pride in Duck’s voice and the responding whoops from outside.

“Fuck” Duck kisses his cheek, “fuck, shoulda grabbed a cock ring, I’m gonna cum way too fuckin fast.”

“Me, me too.”

“Just like a fuckin virgin.” Duck quickens their pace.

“I’m not a--Aaaahn” the noise cuts off as he cums between them, cock pulsing onto Duck’s skin.

“Fuck, fuck that’s hot, fuck, c’mon sugar, lemme cum, lemme cum right in this fuckin perfect assfuck, fuck, ‘Drid.” He holds Indrid down, groaning as he pumps his hips. Then he tips them forward, crashing their mouths together and pressing Indrid into the bed.

When they surface for air, the spectators are gone. Duck pulls out, cleans them both up as Indrid tries to remember how words work.

“So good.” Is what comes out.

“Glad you think so.” Duck gathers him into a hug, “you want me to do all the aftercare here?”

Indrid blinks, “what’s the other option?”

“We could, uh, go back to my place?”

“That...I’d like that. Wait.” Indrid cocks his head, “do you...would it really be okay if I stayed the night?”

“Yep. Kinda hopin you’d stay over plenty in the future.”

“You want to date me?’

“Damn right” Duck kisses him, “besides you, still owe me a drink.”

Indrid kisses back, grinning, “So I do.”

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

mistletoe & california snow - t. meier

Here’s the first of the things I’ll be putting out for the Christmas and holiday season! I’ve been working on this for the past few weeks, it’s pretty long - bear with me - but I am proud of it and how it’s turned out. As always, I read all the tags and love seeing and hearing people’s thoughts, so please let me know what you think!

word count: 7.6k+

warning: sexual content (light & brief, but no one under 18 please!)

Timo came into Noemi Silva’s life when she least expected it. It’s a cliché saying, one that had been around since time immemorial, but it was true. He wasn’t looking for anything serious, and she had just gotten out of a relationship a few months prior. But then she had gotten an internship with the Sharks social media team in winter of her senior year of college, and the more time she started spending around the players, the more he realized he wasn’t able to stay away from her. Not in a bad way, but in the kind of way where he simply noticed how radiant she was and wanted to do whatever he could to get to know her, to be around her, in whatever way she’d let him. So colleagues turned into friends, turned into him asking her out two weeks before playoffs started. She didn’t say yes right away, but it wasn’t because she didn’t know, and it wasn’t because she wanted to make him sweat it. She was worried about what people would think; an intern dating one of the team’s star forwards, worried that the office gossip would turn into arguments that she didn’t earn her job, or that she was trying to get people to go easier on her. After a long conversation with Alise, one of her best friends, then her older sister, then Timo, she finally agreed. Them being together wasn’t as big of an issue as she had thought, a few meetings with HR and some paperwork and they had the green light, as long as they kept things professional at work. And then she was offered a full-time job after her graduation, and now, almost three years after they had first met, she was days away from marrying the love of her life. 

He had proposed at the very beginning of the year, on a weeklong trip to Switzerland courtesy of the Sharks’ bye week and a very well-timed nonstop flight to Zürich. Noemi wasn’t an overly sentimental person, she thought as she curled next to her fiancé on their living room couch, watching an episode of Gossip Girl. She never had been, but even she would admit without hesitation that there wasn’t a single thing she would have changed about their engagement. 

---

Noemi’s parents were out of town on a weekend getaway to wine country, so they weren’t able to drive her and Timo to the airport for their bye week vacation to Switzerland. Everything had lined up perfectly that year, and Noemi almost couldn’t believe their luck. She had accompanied the Sharks’ delegation to the past two All-Star Weekends, one the year prior and the other only the weekend before. So they both had a full week off for the first time since the offseason. The Christmas break was great, but it wasn’t nearly enough time to travel anywhere, let alone somewhere outside of the country. They had both been worried about the flight time — for a while, the only option was nearly twenty hours with a seven-hour layover in London — but thankfully, a nonstop flight from San Francisco to Zürich had opened up that they had booked just before the holidays. 

All leading to the current moment, with Noemi, Timo, and their bags in the backseat of Kevin Labanc’s SUV as he pulled up to the curb of Terminal G. “Hope you guys have fun in the Alps, getting snowed on and freezing your asses off while I relax on the beach, getting—”

Noemi cut him off, arching an eyebrow. “Freezing your ass off, Kevin. It may be California, but I think you’re vastly overestimating how warm Santa Cruz beaches get. Have fun, though,” she quipped. 

The corner of his eyes crinkled as he laughed. “Meier, did you know that your girl can chirp better than half the team?” 

“One of her many talents,” Timo said, shrugging as he hefted their bags out of the trunk. Noemi was the first one to hug his teammate goodbye, and then Kevin pulled Timo into an embrace. 

“But seriously, guys. Have fun. Good luck,” he said, looking back at Timo. 

“What did he say good luck for?” Noemi asked, her brows furrowed as they walked through the sliding doors to the check-in counter. 

Timo made a noncommittal noise. “Not sure. Maybe he meant to say good flight?” And it was a good flight, they were both able to get a few hours of sleep in before breakfast was served just as they were flying over Scotland. 

Noemi wrested her back from under the seat before slinging it onto her shoulder and flashing a grateful smile at the flight attendants as they disembarked. She shivered as the cold air hit her on the jet bridge — as soon as they made it out to the gate, she made Timo stop so she could grab a jacket out of her bag, zipping it up all the way to under her chin. Timo snorted; she glared at him. “We weren’t all born with snow in our veins, Timo.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t say anything.” 

She had been through the airport once before, but once was nothing compared to the she-didn’t-even-know-how-many flights Timo had taken. He gave her a kiss on the cheek as they reached passport control, moving towards the automated gates as Noemi stood in the line for non-Schengen nationals. “See you on the other side.” 

Timo had already been waiting for ten minutes by the time Noemi got through. Though, all things considered — especially when compared to the hour-plus lines they were both used to trying to get back into the United States — it wasn’t bad at all. “You get through okay?” he asked, kissing Noemi as she came up to where he had settled by a coffee shop. 

She nodded. “Yep, no issues. Asked me why I was here, I said I was visiting family with my Swiss citizen boyfriend, asked how long I’d be here for, I said a week. She told me welcome to Switzerland, stamped my passport, and said to have a good trip.” She tucked her passport into her purse, zipping it closed. 

Timo bent down to kiss the top of her head as she leaned into him, her hands wrapping around his waist. “Let’s get going, then.”

---

The day before they were due to fly out of Zürich, they decided to go into the city. By they, it was really Timo’s decision; before they left San Jose, he had shown her pictures of Zürich in the winter and mentioned the zoo. It was an easy sell, she loved getting to see the lemurs. They had done the zoo in the morning and the national museum in the afternoon, before the sun set just after 5 PM. 

The beer garden he took her to for dinner didn’t have any more indoor seating — something Noemi didn’t have a preference on, but Timo seemed concerned about — so the couple settled outside, warmed by a heating lamp and a well-placed fire pit off to the side of their table. “I feel like a lizard,” Noemi remarked, glancing up at the lamp. Timo laughed, holding her hand and absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the top as he scanned the menu. “Now, it may come as a shock to you, but I happen to be less-than-fluent in Swiss German, so you’re going to have to help me out here,” she said as she read the menu. “Pictures are only getting me so far.”

He chuckled, leaning over the table “Do you want the raclette or the fondue?” 

Noemi’s brow furrowed. “Raclette?” 

Timo pulled out his phone, quickly navigating to Google. “The best way to describe it is like warmed, bubbly cheese that’s like scraped onto the food. Potatoes, meat, that kind of stuff. As opposed to fondue, which is obviously just fondue.” 

She looked at him, bewildered. “How many ways do the Swiss have to eat cheese?” 

“We’ve been perfecting it for 700 years, No.” 

The raclette was incredible, as expected, and the saison their waitress had suggested paired perfectly. It was nearing eight by the time they had paid the check, and they had an hour long drive back to his hometown, but the night wasn’t over yet. Some of the Christmas lights were still up, and a short walk around downtown led them to a little art gallery that was still open, Timo purchasing a gorgeous oil painting of the city, the clock tower of St. Peter in the background. 

“Belated Christmas present?” he asked, grinning at Noemi, as he arranged for it to be shipped back to California. 

She rolled her eyes. “If you say so.” 

“Merci vielmal,” Timo said to the curator. “Come on, there’s one more thing I want to show you before we leave.” 

Noemi blew on her hands before she stuffed them back in the pockets of her down jacket, following him out the door. She had gotten it a few months after she had been hired by the team full-time; there were a few different people on the social media team, so she didn’t go on every road trip, but it had become an invaluable addition to her wardrobe. She had made the foolish assumption that a November in Calgary couldn’t be too cold, and had only brought a fleece and a raincoat on one of her first trips with the team. It had been one of the worst mistakes of her life, and she had ended up having to run out to a Canada Goose outlet during her lunch break just so she wouldn’t freeze to death. 

Noemi wasn’t sure where they were going, but supposed that she wasn’t in a place to be very skeptical. It was only her second time in Switzerland — she had flown out the summer prior to visit with him and his family — and she certainly wasn’t an expert, so she followed her boyfriend down the street and around the corners of tiny stone-faced apartments and old churches, a light sprinkling of snow dusting itself on her beanie. They walked for a few minutes before coming to the banks of Lake Zürich, where icy water would normally be lapping at their toes, even in January. Noemi hadn’t taken much of a look at the lake on the drive in; if she had, she would have noticed that it was completely frozen over, with couples walking and children playing tag even at the comparatively late hour. 

He squeezed her hand as he stepped onto the ice. “Come on, babe.” 

Noemi bit her lip. “Are you sure it’s safe?” 

Timo nodded. “I called and asked a friend of mine the day before we left, it’s been frozen for almost a week and the weather hasn’t gotten any warmer. It should be at least nine, ten inches thick. Plenty safe.” So she let him take her hand, pulling her out to step gingerly on the ice, one foot in front of the other. 

“Does it freeze often?”

Timo shook his head. “First time since ‘65. You’re getting something special here, No.” The snow gave their feet some purchase on the ice, and it was only a few minutes before they were standing where the middle of the lake should be, looking up at the jet-black night sky. “Can you see Cassiopeia?” Timo asked, looking up to the sky, his hands jamming in his jacket pocket, playing with what Noemi could only assume were his keys. 

After their first date, dinner and a comedy show, they had driven to a stunning viewpoint on the outskirts of the city, bringing a blanket and laying outside stargazing and lazily kissing until they had to go to sleep sometime after midnight. “I could stay here for hours,” he had murmured as she lay against his chest. “Don’t think Boughner would take too kindly to you being late for morning skate,” Noemi had said. But she wasn’t arguing; she would have stayed there the rest of the night if they could. And Cassiopeia had always been her favorite constellation, the first one she pointed out to Timo that night, and one she loved just as much almost two years later. 

It took her less than ten seconds to find it, the familiar “W” beckoning her just like it had a hundred times before. She looked back to where Timo had been just a moment before, mouth half-open, ready to show him the stars. 

But he wasn’t there. Well, not standing, at least. He was kneeling on the ice, a blue jewelry box with a ring inside it balanced in his hand as the other reached out gently for hers. She gave it to him, of course she did. “Noemi Francisca Silva, you came into my life when I least expected it. I didn’t think I wanted a relationship, you weren’t sure either, but somehow after a few months of trying to be ‘just friends,’ we realized that just friends wasn’t going to work. And God, am I glad we figured that out. You’ve somehow fit in my life so perfectly that I have no clue how it ever worked before you were there. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, but even more than that, you’re so full of joy, you’ve always got a kind word to say about anyone, and you’re the best person anyone could ever ask for to have in their corner. I’m so glad you’re in mine.” He paused for a moment, looking back up at her with a half-smile on his face. “You asked what Kevin wished us good luck for back at the airport. Well,” he shrugged, “this is it. Noemi, it’s been the honor of my life to get to love you, and I can only hope you’ll let me do it for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?” 

For as worried as she had been about the ice not twenty minutes before, Noemi barely paid any mind as she crashed down next to him, their foreheads touching as his shaking hands slid the ring onto her wedding finger. It was the easiest answer she’d ever given in her life. “Yes.”

 --

As Noemi straddled Timo in the driver’s seat of his SUV two days before their wedding, the bags of falafel having long since been abandoned in the back seat, she thought that she had never been so grateful for tinted windows and early sunsets. “The milkshakes are going to melt,” she gasped out as his fingers started to trail up her shirt, playing with the line of her bra. 

“We’ll throw them in the freezer when we get home,” he said. Well, there’s not really any way I can argue against that, Noemi considered. So she let him pull her shirt off, undo the buttons on her shorts, and grab a condom from the center console — he had made damn sure to clean it out before filming a “what’s in my car” bit with the video team earlier that week — and slid into her as she tried desperately to keep her moans in check. “It’s okay, baby, let it out. I want to hear,” he said. 

And she was in no place to argue. So she gasped and whimpered while he moaned underneath her, the seat tilted back just enough for him to hit her just right. And Timo knew almost everything about Noemi. You don’t get to be together with someone for over two and a half years without learning about them. He knew she liked waffles over pancakes and hated having to get up early and how she almost cried the first time she got sent to the principal’s office in third grade. He knew her body better than she did, how to send her crashing into an orgasm that left them both breathless with tired, goofy grins on their faces after. 

But as Noemi steadied her breathing, looking out the window — the parking lot was still mercifully empty — she thought that maybe she’d leave out the fact that they had just fucked right across the street from her childhood church. At least we’re not trying to get married there, Noemi thought. I’d take up the whole damn time for Confession just for the past month. 

---

Noemi stuck her head out of the door of her seventh-floor hotel room. The coast was clear. It was the end of February, ten months after they had gotten together, and the team was in the middle of their last big Midwest sweep of the season. Going through the Central Division — plus a stop in Toronto — was incredible and Noemi was shaking herself awake every morning, realizing that this really was her job, but it was also exhausting, and as much as it may have seemed counterintuitive, lonely at times. Well, lonely in a particular way. She had the rest of the social media team, and she was friendly with most of the athletic training staff, and she saw the players pretty much every day, and she was friends with most of them. But the team was a little more than halfway through the trip, and she’d barely gotten to spend any time with Timo. Sure, there were meals, and the few off hours they got had been amazing — when they played the Preds, it was her first time in Nashville, and walking around Music Row had been the highlight of her weekend — but it wasn’t the same as if they were back in San Jose. 

Okay, if she was being totally honest, she missed the sex. It obviously wasn’t like she was finding it impossible to go without, she had dealt with it just fine when he was on a roadie and she was back home, but knowing that they were so close but couldn’t quite get there was a special kind of torture. Until now, when Timo had texted her just five minutes before. Kevin’s just gone out for a run, says he’s getting food after, some baked potato place or whatever. Idk. He’s weird. Anyways, coast should be clear for an hour or so 👀 

Noemi had initially rolled her eyes at the message, not even sure if she’d text him back, but the more she thought about it, the more she was tempted. Fuck it, she thought, texting him that she’d be right over. Which is how she found herself trying to sneak the 50 feet over to Timo’s room without being seen. Everyone knew they were together — they had for months — but the last thing she wanted was to have to explain to Erik Karlsson that the reason she was out pushing curfew was that she just really, really wanted dick. The poor man didn’t need to know. 

So she barely had to tap her fingers on Timo’s door before he swung it open, walking her back towards the bed while holding her around the waist. His knees hit the edge of the bed. Thank God there were two; she wanted him, sure, but even she wasn’t about to cross the line that was having sex in her friend’s bed an hour before he was set to sleep in it. She fell on top of him, sighing as his hands wandered under the hem of her oversized Santa Clara t-shirt, a mainstay from her college years. “Gotta get this off of you,” he mumbled. 

Noemi let out a breathy laugh. “Good things come to those who wait.” She barely had time to let out a gasp before he flipped her over. “It’s only been, what, a week?” Noemi asked, giggling. 

“Too long,” Timo replied, his lips trailing down the column of her neck. Her shirt was quickly forgotten on the floor, his following after a few minutes. She had gotten so worked up over the past week that he barely had to spend two minutes between her legs before she was pulling his mouth back up to hers, her hands fumbling with his belt buckle before finally getting it undone. “Fuck, one second,” he breathed, half-falling off the bed as he stumbled over towards his suitcase, zipping open the inner pocket before pulling out a condom. “You ready, babe?” he asked as he rolled it on. 

She nodded quickly. “Get over here.” He had just pressed into her when the door opened. 

“Brought back some fries to share, thought it would be nice since you didn’t get a chance to—” Kevin hollered as he walked into the room, while Noemi tried frantically to grab anything she could to cover herself. “Oh God. Jesus. Were you two just fucking?”

“In a manner of speaking?” Noemi said, pulling Timo’s dress shirt tightly around her. 

“God, why would you two? I’m not even going to ask. I don’t want to know. You two are gross,” he said, though he had the tiniest of smiles on his face when he finally brought his hand away from his eyes. “I’m going to, I don’t know. Go down to the lobby, and...Watch CNN or something. Be done when I get back.” 

He was gone just as quickly as he had walked in, and Noemi fell back on the bed, her face buried into the nearest pillow. “We’re never going to be able to live that one down, will we?” she asked hopelessly, already knowing the answer.

“Nope.”

---

 A month or so after he proposed, when the post-engagement glow had begun to fade and the equal parts excitement and apprehension about planning a wedding began to set in, they had to figure out how they actually wanted everything to work. Where and when and how and how many, things neither Timo nor Noemi had ever even considered went into planning a wedding. Things like figuring out if their vendor provided linens or if they had to rent their own, things like what to do with the flowers after the reception was over and how to reserve a block of hotel rooms. Enter Mohana. Noemi had been an art minor in college, focusing on watercolor  and digital design, so she sent over bits and pieces, links to Pinterest boards and concept art, and then handed off the responsibility. 

It was important to Timo that the wedding be during a time of year where the team would be able to make it; sure, summers were free, but everyone had vacations to go on and family to visit and he really didn’t want them to have to go to the expense of flying back to California just for a weekend. Even though he knew without a doubt that they would. And neither he nor Noemi thought it was a good idea to do it in spring — spring meant the playoff push and their schedules being filled even more than usual, and they didn’t want it to turn into just one more thing to worry about. Which meant fall or winter, but fall could be hectic with the season starting and most of the weekend dates for their venue had already been booked up. Which took them to December. Her own parents hadn’t really cared, but Noemi’s grandparents hadn’t been exactly thrilled when she told them she wasn’t having a church wedding. They got over it pretty quickly, though a lengthy call from her mom might have had something to do with that. 

Noemi wasn’t initially a huge fan of having a Christmas wedding. Though, really, it wasn’t even a Christmas wedding — it was on the 22nd — she was worried that people would have already settled in with their families, that she’d be disrupting plans and dynamics and traditions, that everyone’s toes would freeze off during the ceremony and suddenly their plans would be waylaid by having to take half the bridal party to the hospital to be treated for frostbite. She might have been exaggerating on the last one a little bit; even Bay Area Decembers rarely dipped much below 50º in the afternoon. But the winery they had chosen as their venue was available, and Mohana loved planning winter weddings, and Timo’s family had already been planning to fly over to spend the holidays with them. And red was her favorite color. So, all things considered, it was an easy sell. 

Planning the wedding itself turned out to me more difficult than either of them had anticipated. The Sharks’ season ended abruptly in the Cup finals that year, so they both got what planning they could out of the way before leaving for Switzerland. Cake tasting was done two days before leaving, and she had ordered her dress in March. Facetime meetings with Mohana were usually done in the California morning, which meant that more than once, she had been explaining vendor costs and asking if they preferred peonies or poppies as they were cooking dinner in his parents’ house. Noemi headed back to California in late August — she would have stayed longer, but was limited to a ninety day stay in a six month period without a visa and didn’t feel the need to go through the trouble when Timo was following a few weeks after. It wasn’t ideal, and she missed him more than she wanted to let on at times, but a month came and went and they were reunited. 

--- 

A soft knock came on the door of the bridal suite. “Everyone decent?” the voice asked.

“We’re good!” Emily called back. It was a no-brainer for Noemi to pick her sister as her maid of honor, who had nearly cried when she asked her early in the summer.

Patrick stepped into the room, closing the door gently behind him. “Can’t have him see you before,” he said jokingly. 

“Wouldn’t want that,” Noemi said, smiling softly. Patrick had stuck around after his retirement, working with the player development staff during the season. Everyone was the better for it, and they were all so grateful to have him still be a part of the family. Even apart from his consistency and dedication on the ice, he had always been a natural leader of any locker room he was in, mentoring younger players without being asked and always being there for anyone who needed him. “It’s what the team dad does,” he always said. 

So it was only natural that Timo and Noemi had wanted to find a place for him in their wedding. He had been all too happy to step up and help them with last-minute preparations the morning of, checking in with their wedding planner Mohana and helping to get all of the organizational details squared away — he had even driven back to the hotel the guests were staying at to pick up one of the groomsmen’s shoes when he had realized he had brought the wrong pair. “You feeling good, kid?” 

Noemi looked at the clock on the wall: half an hour until the ceremony started. She gave him a nervous smile. “Definitely got some butterflies, but they’re good ones. I’m excited.” 

The corner of his eyes crinkled. “Good, I’m glad. I remember when Christina and I got married, I was nervous, sure, but I knew. Knew she was the one, knew she was it for me. I’m glad you and Timo found each other, Noemi. A piece of advice?” She nodded. “Don’t get so caught up in the nerves and feeling like you need everything to be perfect that you forget what the day’s about. It’s about celebrating you, and him, and this marriage that you’re going to be building together. The photos will turn out great, nobody’s going to get food poisoning, and you won’t trip walking down the aisle. So don’t overthink it.” 

“Patrick, I just put my makeup on,” Noemi said, dabbing under her eyes with a napkin. “You can’t just say things like that and not expect me to cry.” 

He bent down, kissing her on the cheek. “You look beautiful, Noemi. This is your day. Enjoy it.” 

Patrick opened the door to the guy’s room just as Timo finished fastening his cufflinks. He looked up. “Were you just with No?”

 Patrick nodded. “She looks amazing, Timo.”

“Course she did,” he said, like it was the easiest answer in the world. ”How was she?” 

“Good. Nervous, but good. She’s with the girls, they were all drinking mimosas or something while they did their makeup,” Patrick said, sitting on the arm of the couch. 

Timo’s eyebrows lifted. “Was she in her dress?” 

“No,” Patrick said, rolling his eyes. Well-meaning though he was, he knew that Timo had been pestering Noemi to show him at least a glimpse of her dress, to no avail. She had ended up keeping it at her parents’ house when his bothering got to be too much. She loved it though. “You’ll see her soon.” Not soon enough, Timo thought. 

“You here to impart some sage wisdom, Patty?” Kevin asked, poking his head out of the bathroom as he straightened his tie. Red for the groomsmen, a subtle plaid for Timo. 

“As a matter of fact,” Patrick said, “I did have some things I thought about if you’d like to hear them.” 

Timo nodded quickly. “Of course.” It wasn’t just that he respected him for his role on the team and his former place in the locker room, it was his dedication to his family and healthy marriage that made him immediately tune in to whatever he had to say. 

“I know you’ve probably already figured this out already, having been together for as long as you have and living together now, but in case you haven’t. When you’re in a relationship, a marriage especially, you’re on the same team. You’re going after the same goal. Happiness and comfort and strength. Remember that. You’ll have disagreements, you might fight, but don’t let that overshadow the fact that whatever issue you two are facing, you’re meant to go at it together. Two,” he ticked off on his finger, “you’re going to have to compromise, probably more than you realize. Whether it’s what kind of take-out you’re going to get or where you’re going for vacation or what you’re going to do when you hang up the skates, listen to what she says, think about your priorities as a couple, and talk it out. And sometimes you’re going to have to learn when to let it go and let her win, regardless of if you think you’re right or not.” 

“I’m learning that one,” Timo said as he finished tying his dress shoes. 

Patrick smiled. “Good. Last, and probably the most important one, this is your priority now. Your marriage is your priority, she’s your priority. You said you guys talked about kids, yeah?” Timo nodded. “When you have kids, then, your family comes first. Your kids come first. I know it’s sometimes hard for people in our positions to wrap their brains around, when your whole life has been nothing but going to the rink and going to the gym, but there’s things that you’re going to need to prioritize over that, and that’s okay. The team understands it, everyone understands it. If you miss an optional skate to drop your kids off at school, or take off the gym for a week in the summer to go on vacation. If you’ve got to miss a game because your wife’s having a baby, or you take a call in a meeting when you shouldn’t because it’s Noemi and she needs you, that’s okay. Balance doesn’t come naturally to hockey players, hardly ever, but it’s something you’re going to need to learn, even better than you might think you know now. You do that, and you’ll be alright.”

There were less than ten minutes until Noemi had to leave, and Emily had just finished fastening the last button on her dress. Noemi took a deep breath, smoothing over the lace at her hips and straightening the edges of the three-quarter sleeves. “God, it’s really about to happen, isn’t it?” she asked in awe. 

Her mom squeezed her shoulder. “It is.”

“You need me to drive the getaway car?” Alise, her best friend from college asked, eyebrows raised, one hand playing with the skirt of her crimson bridesmaid’s dress. “I like Timo, I really do, but I love you more.”

Noemi let out a snort. “Thanks, Alise, but I think I’m going to have to pass on this one. We put down a fat deposit on this place and I wouldn’t want to lose it.”

“Pity, I just got the tank filled.” 

One of her other bridesmaids brought over the veil, gently tucking the comb in right above Noemi’s low bun. Noemi brushed her fingers over the comb’s pearls and clay flowers, remembering when Timo presented it to her as an early wedding present. “I was thinking it could be your something new.” Her late grandma’s pearl earrings were her something old, a ribbon from her mother’s wedding dress was wrapped around her bouquet, and a blue-edged handkerchief was pinned on the inside of her dress. Needless to say, it was gorgeous, and as Noemi slipped on her heels, she couldn’t help but think that it had all worked out better than she could have imagined. 

Mohana poked her head in, pushing back her dark hair as she smiled at the room. “Everyone ready?” 

“Bridesmaids are good,” Emily said, looking around. “No?”

Noemi nodded, taking yet another deep breath. “Good to go.” 

“Bouquets are outside, I was just with the guys and everything’s perfect, ties are all tied, boutonnières are all in. The second shooter got a few really sweet pictures of Timo’s mom putting his in.” 

“God, I almost forgot about the pictures,” Noemi said, even though the photographer had been in the room while everyone was getting ready. 

“Alright, let’s go get my bride married!” Mohana beamed. She handed everyone’s bouquets to them as they exited, ending with Noemi. She had designed the bouquets herself, white poppies and red roses and eucalyptus branches all tied together with her mother’s ribbon, but the florist had really outdone herself. A perk of working with the business end of the team was that it took her almost no time at all to get the vendor contacts that the team used for all of their formal events, and a perk of being a WAG was that it took her one text in a group chat to get the number of one of the South Bay’s best wedding planners. And Mohana Kaur had been nothing short of a lifesaver. She had taken Noemi’s vague sketches and fabric samples that she had picked up at Michael’s and turned it into what could only be described as a winter paradise. 

The flower girl, Noemi’s niece Elle, grabbed her basket of petals, looking back at her with delight. “Flowers, Auntie No!” 

Noemi nodded, beaming back at the little girl. “Very pretty flowers, El-bear. You remember what to do with them?”

“I go after Tobias,” Tomas’ son was their ring bearer, and had honestly occupied most of the attention at the rehearsal, not like she minded, “who goes after Mommy, who goes after Auntie Emily. And then I throw the flowers while I’m walking.”

“Perfect, sweet girl,” Noemi said, bending down — as much as she could in her heels — and gathering up the youngest Silva in a hug. She loved her four-year-old niece more than just about anyone, and it was moments like this that made her that much more excited to have children of her own someday. Mohana had silently gotten all of the bridesmaids in order, looking at Noemi as soon as she stood up. “Showtime?” Noemi asked.

Mohana gave her a wide smile. “You know it.” After giving her attendants one last cursory look, she laid a gentle hand on the space between Noemi’s shoulders, left bare from her open-backed dress. “You look gorgeous, Noemi, and the wedding’s going to be incredible.” With a nod of her head, she led the wedding party down the halls of the winery, stopping at the oaken set of double doors that stood as the only barrier between Noemi and the rest of her life. She could hear noise behind the doors, the chattering of the people most important to her in her life. 

Emily turned back towards her sister, squeezing Noemi’s hand. “I love you, No. You picked a good one.” She stepped off to the side as the doors opened, and one by one her bridesmaids walked out, then Tobias, then Elle, until it was only Mohana left. She gave Noemi’s veil a final adjustment, and then the music changed. A gorgeous acoustic version of Coldplay’s Yellow, one of Noemi’s favorite songs and one that had become something of a theme in her and Timo’s relationship. It was playing in his car the night of their first date, she was wearing a yellow dress when he told her he loved her for the first time, they had gone to a Coldplay concert at Levi’s Stadium the summer before the wedding, just after he had flown back from Switzerland. 

Noemi took a deep breath, looked down at her ring, and stepped out the door. Some of her friends had been surprised when she told them she’d be walking down alone. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her dad, or wasn’t close to him — the opposite was true. She just felt that there wasn’t a need to feel like someone was “giving her away.” Nobody but herself had the power to do that, so nobody but herself needed to be a part of that element of the ceremony. It was the same reason she had chosen to hyphenate her name instead of just taking Timo’s. She had always loved the idea of a family having the same name, of everyone being easily identifiable as being connected to one another in that sort of way, and she didn’t like the seeming disjointeness that would happen when they had kids, even if if wouldn’t matter to anyone but her. But she also loved her name, loved how it sounded and what it meant and the connection it gave to her ancestors. So Silva-Meier it was. 

Her veil trailed behind her as she made her way down the aisle, past the rows filled with 200 of their friends and family who had proven invaluable resources and support over the nearly-three years of their relationship. She risked a look at the end of the aisle, just off to the side of the eucalyptus-and-rose edged wedding arch. Where her fiancé was, the last time she could really call him her fiancé. Timo wasn’t necessarily more stoic than most of the other men she knew, and he was actually a fantastic communicator, but he wasn’t always one to show his heart on his sleeve. No such uncertainty today. The corners of his eyes were glassy with unshed tears, a few of which threatened to escape down his cheek. Kevin tapped him on the shoulder, handing him a handkerchief. I hope the photographer got that, Noemi thought distractedly. 

It sometimes was hard for Timo to outwardly show his feelings, especially at the beginning of their relationship; Noemi loved Timo wildly, and there was no doubt in her mind that he felt the same, but Switzerland was never known as a particularly warm-and-fuzzy country, he was still an NHL player with all of the expectations and influences of hypermasculinity that came along with that. There were three times in their relationship where Noemi could remember seeing him cry. Eight months into their relationship, when her mom, Katherine, had had a stroke, he sat with her in the chapel of O’Connor Hospital as she sobbed harder than she ever had in her entire life, and he cried with her. The second time was when he proposed, and when she said yes. The third time was the May before, when the Sharks had gotten within one game of finally hoisting the Stanley Cup but fell to the Capitals in Game 6. At home. She had seen him lose games, seen him lose playoff series’, but that had been a whole new kind of hurt that she had never seen from him, and one that she never wanted to see again. 

This was the fourth, and as she reached the end of the aisle, Noemi couldn’t help but think that if she reached up to her eyes, they’d be wet too. Noemi handed her bouquet off to Emily, and reached over for Timo. “Your hands are shaking, No,” he murmured as the crowd settled back down, their officiant extending a welcome to the crowd that the two barely paid attention to. The introduction, the invocation, all went by in the blink of an eye. “Timo, would you like to go first?” the officiant asked. Noemi had been so caught up in the surrealism of the day that she barely realized it was time for the vows. 

“Of course,” he said, giving Noemi’s hands one last squeeze before beginning. “I always thought it was cliché when people say that love comes into your life when you least expect it, or when you’re not looking for it. A 23-year-old in the NHL usually isn’t looking to settle down and get married anytime soon.” Noemi gave a watery laugh. “But with you, I quickly discovered how right that was. Noemi Francisca Silva, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and, somehow, you fill parts of myself I didn’t even realize were missing until you came along. I could go on for hours about how much I love you, everything about you. I love how whenever Hozier comes on the radio, you turn the volume in the car up so loud I can’t hear anything else, even when you’re singing along. I love how you never wrap a present without curling the ribbons yourself, no matter how many times I tell you we can buy bows. I love how you don’t even have to ask me what kind of pizza I want when we order anymore, because you already know. But most of all, I love how you’re my partner, my best friend, the person I love the most in this world. And in a few minutes, you’ll be my wife. I love you, No.”

“You had an unfair advantage,” Noemi said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m calling a foul.” She took a deep breath. “When I look back on our relationship, from the first time we met, to our vacations, to our anniversaries, to the day you proposed, there’s one theme that I keep coming back to. It’s the first thing I thought of when I sat down to write these weeks ago. It’s how you never fail to make me feel so unbelievably loved. It doesn’t matter where we are, or who we’re with. We could be at one of the fundraisers, where you’re meant to be schmoozing with Silicon Valley tech execs, or at a party with our friends. You hear me, you see me, and when I’m with you, I feel like we’re the only two people in the room. The biggest piece of relationship I ever got, from my vovó, was to marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. I’ve never met anyone who does that as well as you do, Timo, and you don’t even have to do anything. I’m a better version of myself, the best version of myself, just from being around you.” She paused, going over the words that she had been rehearsing in her head for two weeks straight whenever her fiancé was out of earshot one last time. “Du bosch mine Schatz, und Ich lieb di Bis dass de Tod eus scheidet.” 

Timo’s breath caught in his throat at her words. He knew that Noemi had been trying to pick up bits and pieces of Swiss German, but he wasn’t always there to help and it was a notoriously tricky language to pick up. That she had done it on her own made it all the more meaningful. “Timo, do you take Noemi to be your lawful wedded wife? Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, for so long as you both shall live?”  He spoke without hesitation. “I do.”

“And do you, Noemi, take Timo to be your lawful wedded husband? Do you promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others for so long as you both shall live?” Giving her answer was as easy as breathing. “I do.” 

Her nervous hands slid Timo’s wedding band onto his left ring finger, and he moved hers into place above her engagement ring. “Now that Timo and Noemi have given themselves to each other with vows, the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce that they are husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” 

Noemi had had a lot of kisses in her life, more than she could count. There was her first boyfriend, and senior prom, and college parties, and everything in between. But when Timo’s lips met hers, underneath the sprig of mistletoe that hung from their wedding arch, as he became her husband, she knew without a doubt that this was her favorite one.

[nneefa]

RinShi for the ask thing: 1, 18, 29, 33, and 36 (trying not to add too many haha always love seeing your thoughts on them)

1. How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any rituals?

It actually doesn't take much for Rin to fall asleep; give him a soft pillow and warm comforter set, and he's out like a light, but man, does it take forever to wake him up. Neither does it take much for Shiemi to fall asleep, though it's much easier for her to wake up, especially since she owned/owns a garden; you have to be an early riser in order to tend to one.

In a domestic/cohabiting relationship, there'd be lots of cuddling. Rin sometimes likes to put on a bit of a light show with his flames for Shiemi, showcasing his (lack of) talent when it comes to forming shapes/things, but really, it's because his flames are warm and he knows it's the quickest way for Shiemi to snuggle closer to him. I feel like Shiemi takes up reading as a hobby, especially before bed. Sometimes, she'll read aloud if Rin asks her what she's reading, but then he winds up falling asleep to the sound of her voice. When she reads to herself, she also likes to trace soft circles into his hair/scalp, which also puts him to sleep instantly. But then, there are times where she'd get really immersed in whatever it is she's reading up into the wee hours of the morning until Kuro finally takes it upon himself to jump on her lap to get her to finally go to sleep. And even still, she's overcome with a buzz to keep going, but then she winds up watching Rin's sleeping face, his half-opened eyes and the tiny trail of drool dribbling down the corner of his mouth, and eventually falls asleep (but not without laughing at him).

Shiemi almost always wakes up before Rin because he sleeps like a log, so the task of getting him to wake up falls to her. Sometimes, she shakes him awake; sometimes, she softly calls his name softly between peppering his face with kisses (she realizes that he likes this method the most even if it's not the most successful); and sometimes, she leaves the task to Kuro, who either shapeshifts on top of him, sits on his face, or pushes him onto the floor. Smelling salts work too, lol, but it's not something Shiemi does often.

18. What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Their dates, at first, are awkward, because while they've been friends for so long, dating is something neither of them are familiar with and trying to navigate what that means for both of them comes with a challenge. Heck, Rin never thought in a million years that Shiemi would ever return his feelings, so he's still reeling from that. I feel like Shiemi would not only consult Izumo and Paku - because she's the only one with any dating experience, besides Shima, but no one's asking him anything, much to his dismay - but she'd put her shoujo manga to good use, as well as any dating magazines/books that Izumo would recommend.

They definitely make do on their date at the amusement park like they promised. It's like, the first date they ever have and it's also the one that sets the stage/tone for their relationship, because not only is it super awkward because they feel like there's a rulebook they must follow, especially Shiemi, but their friends end up crashing their date; however, it's thanks to that that the tension dissipates and they realize that they don't have to try so hard; that they should just be themselves and whatever tricky bits they encounter, they'll deal with it accordingly. They'd have study and at-home dates at each others' residences, and missions where they're partners would wound up as dates. Like, so long as they're together and having fun, that's a date to them, but they'd also go out for fun too, like to the park or out to eat (which isn't often because Rin is poor af thanks to Mephy). They definitely take advantage of their out-of-town missions, because then they'd go sightseeing, food sampling, etc.

Their relationship is ever-lasting. I mean, it's my hope that Shiemi lives as long as Rin does, given that he's a half-demon and he'll outlive all of his friends, including his brother (I really hope that's not the case), so yeah. I don't think they ever feel the need to take a break, because they were friends with their own lives prior to dating each other. They'll still do their own thing despite this because Rin and Shiemi respect the hell out of each other and their boundaries.

29. How do they handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

They're opposites when it comes to this. Shiemi is a doctor and tamer. Disaster preparedness is her shtick, so she handles this kind of thing with relative ease. She's collected, if not a little emotional, but for the most part, she's got her bearings together. It's Rin, Mr. I Like to Use My Body as a Punching Bag and Action Now, Consequences Later that makes everything difficult.

Rin's body doesn't sustain injuries. He heals well within a hour or two, depending on the type of injury, but Shiemi insists - is downright forceful actually - on applying first aid, not just because it's her job as a doctor/healer to heal, but because she doesn't like to see Rin get hurt. He tells her that she doesn't need to do it, but Shiemi's not having any of it, and Rin can appreciate the sentiment, because even though he knows he'll never keep a scar or bruise, the thought the Shiemi would go out of her way to take care of him means a lot to him. He even likes to keep the bandaid/gauze on too, as a reminder of this. (Shipping aside, I feel like Rin feels this way about Yukio too). Shiemi has callouses for days, literal farmer hands, and she's handles her own injuries like a champ. Rin, of course, panics when she gets hurt, and he doesn't like the idea of her being in danger, but he also knows that Shiemi is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

As for sickness, again, Rin doesn't get sick, but if he did, Rin would frickin' hate it, lmao. Like, on one hand, Shiemi taking care of him? 👌🏽 But, Shiemi's cooking? Yeah, no, thank the high heavens he doesn't have to suffer through another helping of grass and herbs. Rin dotes on Shiemi whenever she gets sick, not that she's a fan of being coddled, but the meals that come with being sick are to die for and having him take care of her warms her heart. Rin has experience taking care of sick people, because Yukio used to get sick a lot, so this would definitely transfer over to Shiemi.

33. What kind presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

Shiemi would put a lot of thought into gifts for Rin, not that he wouldn't, but like, Shiemi freaking loves this kind of thing. She gives him flowers - and I'm gonna headcanon that she knows the language of flowers, so it's extra special - and at one point, she even makes him one of her homemade hair accessories to help him clip his bangs back. She gives him bags of her special tea blends, and herbs and seeds to use in his recipes too. Rin knows that Shiemi really loves his cooking, so he'd make her a really good meal, especially with the ingredients she gives him as a thank you. Rin would buy her hair accessories and ornaments, little knickknacks and handicrafts because he knows she's super into that stuff. It's not relegated to special occasions, but sometimes just because they were thinking about each other while looking at something that reminded them of one another.

36. What's their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

God, there's much to choose from: the fact that they confide in each other their insecurities; that they're a source of comfort for one another; that they're so protective and attentive of each other; or that they're such a deep source of encouragement and inspiration for one another. I really feel like all of that is tied together, because within each of those instances, they were doing all of those things! Argh! Grace, why would you ask me this hard ass question?! 🤣

Okay, so I'll go with how protective/attentive they are of each other as their greatest strength, and the fact that they still keep secrets from each other as their weakness. The fact that they pay so much attention to one another means that they know what makes the other tick; they know precisely what to say, what to ask and do that'll prick each other's consciousness to be a better them (which, again, is tied to how they're a huge source of encouragement for each other), like how Rin thought of Shiemi when controlling his flames in Kyoto against the Impure King or just the fact that Rin literally broke Shiemi out of her self-contained prison to pursue exorcism for herself. I'll go on forever if I talk about this, but they're such good friends to each other!

As for their weakness, I think they have of habit of trying to tackle issues on their own instead of learning how to rely on each other fully. They keep secrets from each other to their detriment. Like, Rin has had so many close calls with Demon!Rin because he doesn't want to accept and face his insecurites, and I can't quite shake the feeling that Shiemi's going to be in a world of trouble with "The Beautiful People" cult that could possibly be avoided had she told someone where she was going and what was happening. I mean, I know she was sworn to secrecy, but at the same time, it reminds me of what happened in the beginning of the manga, where Rin had to keep the fact that he was the Son of Satan a secret, and how it blew up into an awful mess because he didn't tell anyone. I feel like Shiemi will experience something similar had she confided in someone about it too.

[strawberriestyles]

Chapter 4

(Banner made by sweet sunshine @harry-nofookingway-styles​)

Harry X OFC (AU)

Sequel to Brutality: In which Melody and Harry must relearn how to navigate one another among a flurry of changes.

Read previous parts here.

Author’s note: HELLO HELLO PLS ENJOY MY BIRTHDAY CHAPTER MWAH

Harry’s mood seemed to improve, but according to Sean, it was only around Melody. When it was just him with Harry, he was just as miserable as he’d been the past few weeks. And Melody didn’t know what to think of that.

“Harry, I don’t think you’re getting how to play this game.”

“What d’yeh mean? ‘M playin’ just how yeh explained it.”

Sean coughed to hide his laughter, but Melody didn’t even try to mask the wide smile breaking out over her face. She shook her head and laid her hand of cards facedown on the table they'd swiveled over Harry’s bed.

“You just claimed you had three queens when you only had one,” she said to him, “which meant that either Sean or I already had at least two. You can’t have three queens.”

“Sound like the ‘inconceivable’ guy from that movie yeh made me watch,” Harry grumbled, tossing his own hand onto the table. “Nothin’ yeh’re sayin’ makes any sense. Whatever. Whole game seems like bullshit, anyway.”

Melody shot Sean an amused look as she sat back in her chair. “Was there something else you wanted to do, then?”

“Yeah, wanna get the fuck outta here.”

Melody crossed her arms over her chest and drew in a deep breath. Sean shuffled all the playing cards into a pile so he could return them to their box. “It’s pouring out, Harry,” he informed him.

“Can see just fine, thanks.”

“See?” Sean directed to Melody. “Miserable. You’re not nice, Harry.”

“Well, he does have two working eyes,” Melody agreed, gesturing to the windows, where rain was beating heavily against the panes and the sky had grown dark and gloomy. “And that’s not what he meant, anyway.”

“Thank you,” Harry said. He covered half of his face as he yawned, and then added, “At least one of us has a whole brain.”

Sean laughed like he’d just witnessed comedic gold. Harry grinned at him. “Was good, right?”

The smile was so bright, something that she hadn’t seen in so long, that Melody felt that all too familiar ache again. Even though she didn’t find his joke funny. She didn’t find any of his self-deprecating jokes funny at all. But she would endure them if this was the way that he delivered them, all bright-eyed.

Sean must have made a joke too, because Harry was laughing. A full, loud laugh. Melody couldn’t contain her own smile at the sound of it, at the way his eyes crinkled up at the corners. And then it stopped. Abruptly.

Harry’s spine curled forward. His head dropped into his palms and his fingers curled into his scalp. His breath stopped short in his throat. And then he let out a gasp, a heavy groan laced with pain. Melody had never heard him make a sound like that. Her smile fell faster than a drop of rain.

“Harry?” she whispered, leaning forward and slipping her fingers over the back of his neck, beneath his hair. “What’s wrong?”

He winced again, loudly, and hunched further forward.

“Sean, go get the doctor,” Melody muttered urgently.

Sean nodded quickly and was out of his chair, rushing into the hallway before Melody could even move again.

“Hey.” She shifted onto the edge of the mattress and ran her hand down Harry’s spine. Her other fingers rubbed at his wrist, where he was holding his head. “What’s going on?”

Harry did nothing but grit his teeth together and tip forward until his forehead met her chest. His breath returned, heavier, and his legs pulled in toward his body.

There was a rustle in the doorway as Dr. Florin entered the room and Sean stopped at its threshold. Melody caught the doctor’s eye as she leaned over the bed and began to lay Harry back. He grunted. His eyes were clamped tightly shut, his fingers still curled into the sides of his head.

“Harry, I need you to tell me what you’re feeling,” Florin said quietly. She pulled his hands away with a bit of an effort and began to probe around his head. Melody settled back into her chair, her fingers twitching around the edges of her lips.

“Feel’s like my head’s on fire,” Harry spat out before clamping his teeth back together.

Dr. Florin finished examining his head and as soon as her touch retreated, his hands returned. She peeled back the lid of one of his eyes and shined her penlight into his pupil, then repeated the same on the other side. Harry’s heaving breaths continued throughout, and then she backed away. She gestured to Melody as she returned to the hallway.

Melody squeezed at Harry’s forearm and then hurried after the doctor. “What’s going on?” she asked without a pause as she stepped up beside Sean.

“His brain has healed as best as it’s ever going to, Melody, but that’s a lot of trauma for it to go through. It’s amazing that the bullet didn’t ruin any of his basic functioning, but he’s probably going to have pains like this for the rest of his life. We’ll get him something to dull them. I was going to discharge him in the morning, but I think he should stay another day for monitoring. All right?”

“Are you sure we don’t need another MRI or—“

“He’s okay, Melody.”

Melody clutched at her elbows and gave a minute nod. Dr. Florin pursed her lips as she turned to hurry down the hall, and Sean met Melody’s eyes for a short second before the two of them returned to the room.

Harry’s hands were knotted into fists, his knuckles pressed to his brows. Melody could see his arms shaking at their odd angles. She stepped back to his bedside and smoothed hair back from his forehead, whispering into his ear.

“They’re gonna give you something for the pain, okay?”

Harry’s head barely moved, but she could feel the hint of a nod beneath her palm.

Dr. Florin returned shortly. She hooked Harry back up to the IV drip that he hadn’t needed for weeks and then injected a medication into the line. Sean sat back down in his chair, fingers working at his jaw. The doctor watched Harry’s pulse begin to steady in the next few minutes, and then nodded and stepped out of the room silently.

“Okay. Okay,” Melody muttered, sitting on the edge of the mattress once again. She took Harry’s hand when he finally lowered it from his forehead after another few minutes. His eyes were open, lazily roaming the ceiling as she curled her fingers around his. He parted his lips and mumbled something.

“What’s that, man?” Sean asked, leaning forward.

“Really am a hothead, yeah?” Harry said, raising his voice just above a whisper.

Sean exhaled a weak chuckle and leaned back in his chair.

Melody rolled her eyes. She lifted his hand to place a kiss on his thumb and then leaned in to settle her lips at his temple. “You need to work on your jokes.”

“Hmm,” Harry murmured. He closed his eyes and Melody pulled herself back upright. “Maybe you just need to work on your sense of humor. Sean thinks ‘m funny.”

“Yeah, well you’re both idiots, so.” Harry’s lips twitched. His fingers were loosening in her grip. “Sean and I will go get some food while you take a nap, okay?” Melody said.

He hummed, barely above a breath. Melody slid back onto her feet and settled his hand at his side. She took a final sweep over his relaxed form and his lulling head, and then led Sean out of the room.

***

Harry slept for hours. Melody ate a large salad in the cafeteria, as per Sean’s instructions, since she wouldn’t be training the next day and didn’t need to load up on carbs. They took their time eating, and after returning to Harry’s room, played a few games of cards and watched an episode of a court program on T.V.

Sean yawned when the show ended. He looked out the window, where the rain was still falling, but had let up just a bit. “I should get going,” he said, “before it starts coming down heavier. You gonna stay the night?”

Melody looked over at Harry’s face, still relaxed with sleep, his lips parted but his breathing soundless. She nodded.

“Okay, well let him know I said to get his ass out of bed tomorrow.”

Melody smiled. “I’ll tell him.”

“We’ll take a break from training until he gets settled in at home, but don’t forget about your match on Friday. Keep your muscles loose.”

Sean slipped into his jacket and took one last look at Harry before heading for the door.

“Get home safe,” Melody called after him, and he lifted a hand in farewell before disappearing into the hall.

The room was quiet and the shows dull without any conscious company. Melody had grown used to this loneliness over the past few months, but that didn’t make it any better or easier. Her feet were kicked up onto the corner of Harry’s mattress and her head kept lolling.

“Mel?”

She lifted her head from the back of her chair, twisting around to see Harry’s face. He was rubbing at his sleepy eyes. Melody was surprised how the smallest things opened up wounds in her chest and then stitched them right back together. She hadn’t seen him so tired and fresh from sleep in what felt like an eternity.

“How’re you feeling?” she whispered, blinking her own exhaustion away.

“Don’ even know,” he mumbled.

“Are you hungry?”

Harry shook his head. He glanced up at the T.V. and watched its picture with a blank gaze.

“Had me a little panicked,” Melody said after a moment’s pause. She pulled her feet back down to the floor and turned her chair toward the top of the bed.

“Yeah?” Harry dropped his eyes to her face and ran his tongue over his dry bottom lip. “What’d Florin say?”

Melody hesitated. She didn’t want to be the bearer of even more bad news. Harry’d received enough of that in the past few weeks to last him multiple lifetimes. But she didn’t have much of a choice.

“She said you might have random pains like that for the rest of your life.”

Harry blinked once, twice, and then rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “Just my luck,” he muttered.

“You’ll have medication for it, though,” Melody added. She didn’t know if that was any comfort at all.

“Sean leave?”

Melody nodded. “But he said you need to get up tomorrow. Dr. Florin thinks you might be discharged Thursday morning.”

Harry’s eyes brightened, as they usually did when there was talk of leaving the hospital. He was beginning to grow skeptical, though, that he would ever be free. Especially when his physical therapy seemed to be so slow-going. He was wary, even as Melody smiled at him.

“Thursday mornin’, for real?” he asked.

“Yeah, if you don’t have another one of...these again,” Melody answered, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. “And Aiden wants to check that your motor function is improved enough to leave.” She leaned forward, out of her chair, to press a kiss to the corner of Harry’s lips, to his temple. She settled her chin into his hair, thick with dried sweat from his episode earlier. She didn’t mind the scent or the texture. It was all just Harry to her.

He lifted a hand to the back of her head. The other to the dip of her spine, and when she pulled back from his hair he pulled her face down to meet his.

Melody locked her lips with his, fitting together like magnets. She cupped the corner of his jaw and buried her other fist in his pillow cover. There was something in the firm pressure of his lips, the way that they slipped from hers only to return at a new angle. It made her shoulders shake. Her very bones ached so powerfully she thought he could have splintered them himself. She slumped into him, struggling to pull air through her nose but unwilling to break the kiss. And when Harry finally broke it for her, she felt her body grow slack.

He pressed his hand into her back as she dipped her chin into his neck. She was gasping against his skin like she’d just sprinted a mile. He turned his cheek into the curl of her fingers around his jaw, stroked the hair spilling between her shoulder blades, and breathed in the scent of her conditioner. He felt her relax beneath his hands, but he was craving this touch just as much, and there was a delay to his movements when Melody began to pull away.

Her breathing had evened out. She felt Harry’s hands snag in the locks of her hair, in the waist of her sweater, and she bit her lip as those hands fell back to his chest. Her fingers smoothed down the slopes of his shoulders. She paused and then pressed another short kiss to his mouth before standing up straight, trying to shake off the gelatinous feeling in her limbs. Now that she’d kissed him like that again, she wanted to feel the heat of it all the time. Her lips wanted to always be touching his. She didn’t think she could take even the most chaste of pecks for granted anymore.

“Get some sleep, Harry,” she whispered, her voice raw. "Gotta show Aiden you’re ready to get outta here tomorrow."

“Are yeh stayin’, love?”

Melody nodded, pulling her hands back to cross her arms over her chest. There was a full ache when she was no longer touching him. Was this normal?

“D’yeh want me to move over? Yeh can lay up—”

“No, no,” Melody rushed with a quick shake of her head. It didn’t feel right. Although she wanted nothing more than to curl up with him. She didn’t want that in a hospital bed. “It’s okay. I’m used to the chair.”

“But yeh don’ have—”

“I’m okay, Harry. I promise. You won’t be in here in a couple days and then we won’t have to worry about it. Don’t worry about it.”

Harry sighed, letting his eyes flutter as Melody’s fingers skimmed over his wrist to emphasize her point. “Okay,” he assented.

Melody offered him a twitch of her lips and trailed across the room to shut the door with a soft click.

“What’re yeh doin’?” Harry asked.

“Changing,” Melody answered as she wandered back over to her chair and pulled her bag onto the seat, digging through its contents for the clothes that she always brought, just in case she decided to spend the night in the hospital. She hadn’t slept here since the week that Harry woke up.

Melody yanked her sweater over her head and unclasped her bra without a moment’s hesitation. Even staring out the room’s windows, into the sky, dark with night and rainclouds, she still felt the heat of Harry’s gaze, his eyes streaking down her bare torso. She slipped a t-shirt over her head and then kicked off her shoes and peeled off her jeans. It was only a moment before she was in a pair of sweatpants and kicked back in her chair, her heels propped on the edge of Harry’s bed again. He was still watching her, crease between his brows.

“What?” she mumbled around a yawn. The television was still humming, rain pattering against the windowpanes in the background. It was meditative and it made her sleepy.

“Yeh used to be nervous takin’ your clothes off around me.”

Melody pulled a blanket out of her bag and tilted her head on the back of the chair as she draped it over her legs. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen a hundred times.”

“Haven’ seen that bruise on your hip.”

Melody pulled her lip between her teeth and let her fingers fall to the hem of her shirt, just over the tender skin that he’d pointed out.

“Let me see it.”

Melody frowned, shaking her head. “No, Harry.”

“Why not?”

She rubbed at her eyes and smoothed hair out of her face. “Just because, okay?”

“No, I—”

“Harry, please.” Melody stared at him, holding his heavy gaze. She tapped her toe against his shin through the sheets. “I don’t wanna argue.”

He snorted, a dry half-laugh, and closed his eyes, resting his head back against his pillow and lowering the upper portion of his bed. “Goodnight.”

Melody pulled her blanket up over her shoulders and watched Harry’s jaw flex as he relaxed. She pulled in a long breath and let her own eyes close. “Goodnight, Harry,” she whispered.

Chapter 5

[kenzieam]

Remember Me - Chapter One

@jewels2876​​​​  @moonbeambucky​​​​  @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​​​​  @iammarylastar​​​​@captstefanbrandt​​​​  @badassbaker​​​​  @pinknerdpanda​​​​  @oliviastan17​​​​ @mizzzpink​​​​​

I know I’m forgetting people, sorry. If you want in, hit me.

************************************************************************

Rating: M

Warnings: Major angst, drama, sorrow, pain, suffering, language, my usual shit

************************************************************************

FEEDBACK IS LIFE, Y’ALL!

************************************************************************

Lev is newly born, her entire life up until the last mission gone. How does she navigate these new waters where she doesn’t remember anything anymore? And what to make of the heartbreaking way Bucky is always looking at her now?

***********************************************************************

My head hurts and I’m getting tired of the endless questions, but the people milling around me can’t seem to accept what I keep saying, over and fucking over.

“You don’t remember me?”

I study him, if only to give the impression that I’m trying really hard to remember but it’s all a blank, just a big fucking expanse of white. Not overly tall, tailored suit and smart-ass twist to his lips. “No.”

He glances at one of the others, a quiet, introspective guy who’s been doing most of the medical shit and only receives a shrug in return.

“C’mon Banner, what the hell is going on?” The little one asks, sounding surprisingly distressed.

Who are these people and why do they care so much if I know them?

“I told you,” the one called Banner begins, voice quiet and somehow chronically sad. “She can’t remember; going by my preliminary findings, it’s most-likely post-traumatic retrograde amnesia.”

“What? She hit her head or something?” The little guy looks around at the rest of them, hands out in exasperated query.

I consider answering, something cutting and acerbic about the blood-stained uniform I wear, the bruises and cuts and cracked bones that Banner has already splinted and given me lovely drugs for, but it seems like too much effort and really, if the suit can’t deduce that something went down out there based on how I look and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, I’m not going to waste my breath.

A tall blond who’s holding his side gingerly answers, flicking a glance at me as if he’s read my apparently scrambled mind. Judging by the way the others pay attention to him, I’m guessing he’s one of the bosses. There’s a reassuring steadiness about him and I see why he’s the one everyone looks to for answers. “Yes, Tony. She hit her head, Kozlov had a few dirty tricks laid out that we got stuck in.”

The one called Tony shrugs, looking inexplicably pissed. “The rest of you look okay.”

That was far from true, every single one of them was bleeding or bruised somewhere, but if he was referring to the fact that no one else was sitting there unable to remember anything personal, then he was right. A petite redhead, her arm in a sling, shifted her weight, throwing a dirty glance at Tony, while a handsome black guy, one whole side of his uniform scorched and torn but the skin beneath thankfully intact, scoffed, looking ready to say something in return if not for the blond glancing warningly at him over his shoulder but my attention was on the brown-haired man hovering in the shadows.

As tall as the blond and heavily muscled, chocolate brown hair hung lank in a stunningly beautiful face, all the more striking because of his almost supernatural blue eyes but the most defining feature by far was his shiny, metal left arm. He looked like he was struggling with the urge to simultaneously destroy something in rage and collapse into tears, the dichotomy both fascinating and unsettling. Although heavily injured, at least to my eyes, he’d eschewed all attempts at help, insisting on everyone else being taken care of first. He’d spent most of the time here in this sterile room watching me, something indecipherable in his stare. He seemed to be taking this amnesia business far more personally than anyone else, eyes red-rimmed and swimming in tears, even as his fists, one metal and one flesh, clenched at his sides.

“I know,” the blond replies, sounding chagrined and I look his way once more, curious despite the pain in my head. He flicks his eyes to me, and I’m surprised at the distress there. “Lev took a hit meant for all of us.”

I did? Why? And is that my name, Lev?

The anguish in the metal-armed guy seems to overflow at the blonde’s words and he turns away, hammering his synthetic fist against the wall, the sound barely concealing his sob, but the group appears remarkably indifferent to his reaction, as if used to it; maybe he’s the emotional one of the team.

Or maybe, based on the way he’s been watching you; this news hurts him more.

Whatever, my head frickin’ hurts and I just want to lie down, we can all play twenty-questions later.

Banner seems to notice my weariness first and steps closer, freezing when I tense then seeming to accept my reaction almost sadly. “C’mon, let’s leave her alone. She needs to rest.”

“She can’t go to her quarters…” the redhead begins, looking between the one named Tony, Banner and the blond, glancing once apologetically at the brunette, who’s turned away from the wall to watch us again, but looks like he is barely holding on. A strange compulsion hits me, to leap off the exam table, rush to him and hold him close but it makes no goddamn sense, I don’t know this man, I need to go lie down, like Banner said.

“No.” Banner agrees, and he too flicks a look at the man, seemingly sorry to agree with the woman. “That won’t work… not right now…. Anyway, she needs to be monitored closely for the next day or so, I’d feel better if she stays here.”

Whatever, I can’t think about this, everything hurts too goddamn much. The darkness swirls up again and, rather than fighting it, I embrace it, faintly registering my body sway and tip over, the impact with the bed probably painful but I’m too gone to notice.

**********************************************************************************    Heavy breathing wakes me later and I slit my eyes open, trying to find the source. Whoever it is, they sound like they’re fighting tears and my heart cracks at the sound. I imagine the sound of anyone crying is something I don’t particularly want to hear, but something about this person’s anguish is particularly cutting.

It’s the brown-haired man, the one with the metal arm. He sits to my side, hunched over, face buried in his hands and massive shoulders shaking. It’s disconcerting to see someone so physically imposing and large looking so… broken but there’s some serious shit going on with this guy.

Before I can move though, shift my hand to brush his knee or anything really to help him, the blond appears at the doorway. I can barely make his features out, due to the dim lighting and my barely-opened eyes, but he’s not looking at me anyway. I close my eyes again, it’s easier.

“Buck, c’mon man.” He murmurs, stepping further into the room. “You need to lay down.”

Buck, okay; that’s his name.

“She’s gone, Steve.”

No, I’m not. I’m not dead.

“No, she’s not.”

Thank you, Steve.

“Her memory is! She can’t remember us; she doesn’t remember me.”

“Bruce hopes it’ll all come back.”

“What if it doesn’t?” There’s a horrible resignation in his deep voice, a stark question.

“Then we’ll deal with it.”

“She’s everything to me, Steve. She’s my life, you know this. If all we had is gone-”

“Stop it.” There’s an edge in Steve’s voice now, but I get the impression it’s not anger, but the same fear currently affecting Buck. “She will come out of this. You know as well as I do that Tony and Bruce won’t rest until they figure this out.”

Buck scoffs, but it’s half-hearted and I feel a calloused hand take mine. The touch is gentle, if a little desperate. It feels like he’s saying goodbye.

I hear Steve step in further, a hand slap lightly on a shoulder. “C’mon.” He says again and I hear the chair scratch as Buck stands. A moment later dry lips brush my forehead.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” Buck murmurs but then my shadows are dragging me down again and if he says anything more, I don’t hear it.

**********************************************************************************        The next days pass with painful slowness, dragging like rusty blades across my skin and, based on the faint scars I find on my inner arms and thighs, that’s something the old me used to do with heartbreaking regularity.

What sort of life did I lead, that made inflicting pain on myself acceptable?

I want to stay away from the others, but it’s made difficult by their damn persistence. I’m given some space but not nearly as much as I crave. They all mean well but being asked a hundred times if some location or activity ‘triggers anything?’ gets old. And Banner, Bruce now as I’ve learned is his first name, has a thousand and one ways to try and restart my memory.

But it all remains frustratingly blank.

I remember nothing, not one thing about my life before waking up in the quinjet, everyone hovering over me looking like I’d gone and died on them a time or two.

But apparently there’s records and I spent the first few days that Bruce insisted I stay in the medical labs working my way through them.

I was an orphan, raised in a series of group homes and shoddy orphanages, fighting for scraps. Faint memories trickle back as I read this, just flashes and hints but, based on what I’m reading, that’s a good thing. Sometimes they seem little better than nightmares.

And it explains the scars.

After slumming around in dead-end jobs for a while I, seemingly on a whim, applied to SHIELD and passed the entrance exam, a surprise given my basic background, lack of higher education and chip on my shoulder regarding authority.

Following one particularly ugly assignment, where I completely disregarded orders and then told my commanding officer to go fornicate with himself, I was offered a choice.

Leave SHIELD in disgrace, or volunteer as a guinea pig, only I wasn’t supposed to call it that, even if I was.

For what exactly I had no idea, but that didn’t seem to stop me and, after a half-dozen unsuccessful tests where I nearly got my head blown off more that once testing out experimental weapons, (an expendable resource for R&D), I was offered up to Tony and Bruce.

And what a proposition they’d had for me.

For years Stark had been working on perfecting a serum similar to what his father and Erskine had used on the blond I now knew was called Steve and, with Banner’s help, he’d achieved a version he was fairly confident in.

For whatever reason, they saw something in me (that I did not and had never seen in myself) and the multiple personality and psychiatric tests that were standard at SHIELD and felt I was worthy of the opportunity. Or maybe just perfectly expendable, with no family or close friends to speak of.

And I’d apparently had no sense because I’d agreed to let them test it on me.

If the serum had failed, as it had the few other times Stark had felt confident enough to try it on a real person, I would have probably been booted out of SHIELD entirely, left to my own flawed devices; but it hadn't and I’d become the first successful recipient of serum since Rogers himself, at least for our side. There was a section included in my reading on HYDRA and their Winter Soldier program, including a group of volunteers who’d been executed by their handlers that I skimmed over, feeling the strangest sense of discomfort.

Anyway, with that came the transference to the team, and my first exposure to The Avengers.

That was as far as I got before Bruce cleared me to leave medical, despite the near crippling headaches I was still suffering from, and I was glad for it, being awakened every few hours (usually just after I’d managed to nod off again) had gotten old fast.

The topic of my quarters was still a touchy subject apparently, because I was led to a furnished but plain set of rooms to make myself at home. Steve was the one to take me and his shoulders stiffened when I asked if this was where I had lived before.

“No,” he replies quietly, not looking directly at me.

I was getting really tired of being spoon-fed inf0rmation, at the rate everyone else had decided I could handle it and there was obviously more here than Steve was willing to tell me. “Then where did I live before? Why can’t I go back there now?”

“Lev-” Although I didn’t remember this man, the look of reluctance on his face was universal. He doesn’t want to tell me.

“Goddammit, would someone tell me the truth?” I snap, slamming my fist into the wall, only a small part of me sorry for my outburst. “Why is everyone lying to me?”

“We’re not lying!” Steve almost shouts and I get the sense that this big man rarely raised his voice like this because his face went pink and blotchy and he looked away from me. “Look, Lev. This is hard for everyone-”

I snort, because really.

“No, it’s true.” He returns, finally meeting my eyes. “We just don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“By taking me to an empty room?”

He shifts uncomfortably. “Its not a good idea for you to go to your old quarters.”

“Why not?”

He looks downright miserable now. “Because you share them with someone.” He lifts his gaze to me, beseeching me to stop asking, to not press him further.

To hell with that. “Who?”

“Lev.”

“Who?!”

“No,” he shakes his head and get the feeling he’s digging in his heels. “Bruce said it’s dangerous to overload you with information, I’ve already said too much. Don’t ask again.”

There’s such misery on his face I pause. “Was it you?”

He starts slightly, fighting to hide it. “No.”

I feel bad suddenly, pressing him like this. It’s not his fault I can’t remember anything (at least I don’t think it is) and he’s just the poor bastard that got tasked with showing me my new room. A headache flares up with sickening strength and I suddenly don’t care anymore who I shared space with. “Okay, thanks.” I reach for the knob, hoping to keep my face from betraying my pain.

“Lev-”

“I’m going to go lay down now, Rogers. Thanks.”

I close the door in his face before he can answer.

************************************************************************************ Murmured words against my throat.

Soft lips caress my pulse-point.

A soft, stroking touch.

Heat and weight as someone stretches out on top of me, the feeling welcoming and familiar.

A knee between my thighs, a shuddered exhale.

“I love you, baby.” A tender voice.

I wake to a dark room, cold and alone. There is nobody with me, no one whispering tenderly in my ear. Whoever they were, I trusted them completely, felt one hundred percent safe with them and…. Shit, loved them in return.

But who?

My brain has been too scrambled, my interactions with the team too awkward and stilted to give me any clues. Nobody so far has sparked anything in me like that, male or female; not that I’m prejudiced, but the weight on me, the timbre of the voice says it was a man I loved.

Steve says it wasn’t him, but that doesn’t really narrow it down. There’s apparently a thunder god running around out there somewhere I haven’t met in my new form, and his brother, plus a multitude of others, it’s all a jumbled maze in my head right now.

I could be standing right next to this person and not have a fucking clue, thanks to the tangled spaghetti in my brain.

It’s been a week since I was escorted to these empty rooms and I’ve rarely ventured out, preferring solitude to everyone’s well-meaning ‘help’. It’s not like I’m partying it up or anything, most of the time I sleep, exhausted and baby-weak, trying to remember my life when I’m awake, which usually just leads to more sleeping.

The others do get in unfortunately, because even though it’s exhausting and draining to talk with people, see the hope in their eyes that their words are going to somehow trigger some memory in me, it’s also strangely lonely by myself. I don’t have myself in my head anymore to keep me interested, the general background noise of a busily-humming brain. Mine is still shell-shocked, with no files to sort through for entertainment.

The dreams, or perhaps memories, continue. Not all the time, but enough to make me think they’re more than simple fantasy. The whispered words, the warmth of someone’s strong, muscular body. I’d sit down and try to figure it out if I didn’t now have the attention span of three-year old and the napping habits of a ninety-year-old.

“It’ll come back.” Bruce reassures me, but I’m not sure who he’s talking to, me or him.

“The memories,” I clarify. “Or everything?”

“Everything?”

“My… ties with people, friendships?”

Bruce shifts uncomfortably. “I don’t know. It’s still too early to tell, but with traumatic brain injury there is always the risk of permanent damage, personality changes. You being serum-enhanced just makes it a bigger question mark. Steve has never experienced something like this, and Bucky’s amnesia was an entirely different set of circumstances.”

I’ve learned since that first strange encounter with him, that his name isn’t in fact Buck, but Bucky, and both are nicknames for his real name, James; but that’s about it. The guy avoids me like the plague, and I guess that’s fair, since Bruce just said he’s experienced something the same but different, and probably doesn’t want to be reminded about it.

Once or twice, I’ve brought up Bucky to Steve, the first time in curiosity, the second to see if I imagined the first reaction. Both times his face went red and he suddenly couldn’t speak clearly, suffering from an acute case of the mumbles.

It would be telling, his reactions, if I actually remembered the man and whether he was a frequent sufferer of such things, or if my questions are hitting a particularly sore nerve.

“How’s your headaches?” Bruce continues, watching me carefully.

“You tell me, I know you’ve got that computer thing watching me all the time, what’s it called, MONDAY?”

He smiles faintly. “FRIDAY, and it’s for your own protection. You insist on being alone but if you ever suffered a seizure or was suddenly overcome with pain or-”

“I’m fine, really Banner. Don’t need a babysitter.”

“Right now, you do. Sorry Lev, I know that offends your sense of independence.”

“I have a sense of independence?”

“Yes, you were very self-reliant. That didn’t stop you from maintaining strong relationships with the team, but you preferred to nurse any wounds or injuries only in the company of a select few.”

“Them being?”

He grimaces, the same ‘oh shit’ look on his face as Rogers and we’re back into the ‘keeping Lev in the dark for her own good’ bullshit. “Lev-”

“Either tell me or leave me alone, Banner. I’m drowning in ‘what’s good for me’ around here.”

“Lev,” he looks genuinely hurt and I feel bad for a heartbeat. “We just want to help you, this is as strange and new to us as it is for you, we don’t know what will trigger memories for you, or overload you-”

“I know.” I heave a sigh because, as much as it grieves and frustrates me, I do get the sense that these people truly care about me and want what’s best for me.

“Do you feel well enough to try some exercise?”

I shrug, was that something I was into before? The toned lines of my body say yes but, as with everything, I have no memory of gym training.

“You have retrograde amnesia Lev; your personal memories are affected but not the practical ones. Your body remembers repetitive activities, you can dress and feed yourself, if you went down to the training area your body would remember your exercise routine, your muscles would take over.” He paused, weighing his next words. “No guarantees, but it might help trigger your memory as well.”

I nod absently because I’m wondering the same thing. There’s small bits and flashes that I remember now, but they only come if I’m not trying to remember. My mind needs to be blank and floating, basically concentrating on the opposite of thinking and sometimes I’ll get a little hit, some quick blip. Mostly it’s early memories so far, before I joined SHIELD or the team, but I’m starting to get a sense of the scrappy orphan I was, fighting more often than not, learning street smarts more than books.

I don’t feel like talking anymore and if the old me felt the need to exit conversations gracefully, the new one doesn’t. I stand, surprising Bruce and force a smile. “Okay, see you later?”

He recovers quickly and smiles. “Yes, Lev. Later, and I’m here anytime you need to talk, okay?”

Start actually answering my questions and I will, I think bitterly as I leave.

I find gym clothes in the bag someone packed for me, as well as a set of earbuds. Huh, maybe I’ll get more of sense of who Lev was if I listen to her music choices too.

The training area is empty when I get there, which is better than I’d hoped for. I don’t want anyone watching me right now or, even worse, trying to help.

I jab experimentally at the display on the treadmill and start walking. Bruce’s right, the practical shit is still here, I can work a treadmill, but if you asked me what my favourite colour was, I’d be lost.

Oh well, at least this gives me something to do besides sleep.

After a while, I speed up, moving into a jog. Even though I’m still stiff and sore, it feels good to move, and my body seems to remember doing it and doing it well. I catch sight of me in the mirrors and can’t help but smile. I don’t know how much is hard work and how much is the serum, but I love this body, it’s toned curves and latent strength… if only my brain would catch up.

The doors open and I look up, turning down some bass-heavy rap song that old me used to listen to and stumble on the track.

He looks as surprised to see me as I do him.

The infamous and rarely glimpsed Bucky.

He dithers at the door, clearly torn between continuing what he was doing or turning and leaving before setting his square jaw and marching inside. He nods once to me, averting his eyes and heads directly to the weights section.

I try not to stare as he gets started, putting in his own set of earbuds and grabbing a large set of dumbbells. Sweet baby Jesus, but the man is a work of art, and strong as an ox to boot.

I turn up my treadmill and music, forcing myself to look away because, damn.

But, despite myself, my eyes occasionally track back over.

Sweat darkens his tank top, his metal arm shining under the lights. His skin glows with good health and effort, each muscle cut and sharply defined. Small tendrils escape his man bun, sticking to his cheeks and the back of his neck. I can’t hear him over my music, but I imagine a very manly series of grunts as he works, straining at the weights, pushing for each rep. Maybe he swears too, the occasional gasped ‘fuck’ that wouldn’t be out of place in bed either-

Jesus. Calm the fuck down.

My fingers fly over the controls and some program flashes across the screen, something with lots of hills and valleys, whatever and, for awhile, I’m too busy trying to keep up to worry about Bucky. Then, movement nearby makes me flinch, a completely unexpected reaction.

Bucky, a few treadmills away, freezes at my response, something sad crossing his face, dimming the hope I see there, it looks like he was approaching me tentatively, perhaps to talk, and I had to go and spaz instead. I swallow, trying to think of something to say, a feat in itself since this program I chose is actually quite demanding and I’m working my ass off to keep up but, before I can think of anything, everything swirls grey and my knees give out. A loud thump hits my ears and I wonder if it’s my body bouncing off the track, but it doesn’t matter, because the comfort of oblivion has wrapped around me again and nothing else matters.

Raised voices wake me later, that and another monster of a headache. This is getting old, fast and I struggle to make sense of what’s going on around me.

“We need to tell her; she needs to know!”

“She needs to know, or you need her to know?”

It’s hazy, but I recognize the voices, Bucky and Steve, apparently arguing about something I need, or Bucky needs me to know. But then another voice weighs in, Bruce this time.

“We can’t rush her; this seizure just proves how fragile she still is.”

��No, the seizure was because someone told her she was okay to go to the gym!” Bucky snaps. “Who the fuck said that?” The way he asks it says he already knows and through slitted eyes, I see him squared off with the quiet doctor, his face a stormcloud of emotion, scary even. Steve intervenes, stepping deliberately between them. Tony appears, seemingly out of nowhere and the whole tense stand-off is dragged outside the medical lab, the doors cutting off any sound.

I can’t keep up with this shit and I let the darkness take me once more. Sleep is infinitely better right now than cryptic conversations I clearly was not meant to hear.

The next time I wake, my head is better, but my body still aches; what did I hit on the way down and I seriously consider just trying to close my eyes and go back to sleep, but there’s someone sitting beside me again.

It’s Bucky and he’s staring blankly at my hand, which is currently twined with his, tears in his eyes. He looks like sitting here beside me is absolutely killing him, or is it me? Something about me is hurting him. Does he feel bad I fell in the gym in front of him? Were we friends before all this happened?

I swallow painfully and the motion startles him back to life. He looks at me with indescribable pain in his eyes, like he’s dying to say something but can’t, maybe won’t. He’s the one I heard saying I needed to know earlier, what did he mean, what is so earth-shattering that the others seem to think I don’t need to hear yet?

His other hand reaches up and, I must still be semi-dreaming, because he strokes my forehead gently, an easy intimacy, like he has a right to my body and then he murmurs, so softly I almost don’t hear it.

“Baby.”

I jolt, but before I can get myself together enough to speak, he stands, giving me one last heartbreaking glance before leaving and I lay there for a long time in shock.

His voice; the few times I’ve heard him speak it was always in anger, arguing with Bruce or Steve or someone; I’ve never heard him tender, speaking softly and, now that I have, more questions flood into my tangled brain.

His voice is the one I hear in my dreams, the one that makes me feel safe and loved.

[doc-pickles]

i won’t hesitate (for you) ch. 9

Jo is happy, at least she feels like she is. When someone from her past shows up, will her and her daughter’s world ever go back to normal? Or will things change for good?

Me? Updating? It's more likely than you think apparently. I struggled, s t r u g g l e d. through this chapter but I think the rest will come a bit easier. S/O to Ren for proofing the first half of this and to Nat for demanding the second half hahaha. Also I know that the plot for this whole child support thing is totally out of left field, but I'm going with the Grey's motto of "enough logic to be believable but probably not real world" so there's that. Anyways enjoy! PS: In the interest of me not sending myself to an early grave, there's no flashback in the beginning of this chapter!

+

“Can’t believe we have to go to court, this is a waste of my time and my good suit,” Alex grumbled as he tightened this tie. “I had to pull it out of the boxes and then get it dry cleaned, I should freaking bill her for this.”

“This’ll be over with in a few days and we can go back to our normal lives, well as normal as living in a loft overrun with cardboard boxes is,” Jo exited the bathroom and navigated around a stack of boxes before finally making it over to Alex, moving his hands and helping with his tie. “You look so handsome, if we didn’t have somewhere to be I would drag you back to bed.”

“Well our bed isn’t even here for you to drag me to,” Alex moved his lips to kiss along Jo’s neck, a soft giggle coming from her as he did so. “Movers are coming in 45 minutes and we have to be out the door in 15.”

“That’s enough time for a quickie in the bathroom,” Jo’s proposition caused Alex to pull back and look her up and down with an amused expression. “What? I’m seriously horny all the time and you look good in a suit. I can’t help all the hormones running through my body. In fact! It’s your fault for getting me pregnant!”

Alex rolled his eyes, pressing one last kiss to Jo’s lips before pulling back from her.

“If I remember correctly, there were two of us in that elevator,” grabbing his keys and coat, Alex held his hand out for Jo to grab. “And I wasn’t the one gasping and moaning and practically begging the whole time.”

“If you keep using verbs like that you’re gonna make us late,” Jo swatted at Alex’s ass before grabbing his outstretched hand, following him out of the loft.

As they locked the doors and headed downstairs, Alex let his hands fall to Jo’s growing bump, showcased by her form fitting black dress. At almost 18 weeks pregnant now, Jo couldn’t attempt to hide her bump anymore. She’d been nervous that her pregnancy would impact the court case one way or another, but Alex had reassured her that he just wanted her there with him, consequence be damned. Things had moved quickly though, and in the end, Jo had been called to testify as a character witness so her protests didn’t matter.

The speed of the case making it to court probably had something to do with the fact that Izzie hadn’t bothered to fly back home to file a claim, instead calling the first paternity lawyer she could find on google and starting up the legal process in Washington. While it was a minor relief that Alex wouldn’t have to split time between Seattle and Kansas, both he and Jo were worried about how seriously Izzie had taken things.

Getting into the car and pulling on her seatbelt, Jo begins to ramble nervously. “How’s this going to work? I mean… they’re not yours, right? How is Izzie even allowed to do this?”

A loud groan left Alex as he settled into the driver's seat of his car. He’d wondered the same thing, but he knew that him signing all those papers when he moved to Kansas three years ago had definitely helped Izzie’s case. Even back then, he’d thought in the back of his mind that he should have asked more questions, demanded a paternity test, but he hadn’t. All he could focus on were these two perfect children standing in front of him, children that he now knew weren’t even his. Alex’s blood began to boil with anger at the thought of Izzie lying to him for so long, but he let out a deep breath and began to drive towards the courthouse instead.

“I don’t know, but I saw those blood test results myself and there’s no damn way those kids are mine,” Jo’s fingers rubbed against Alex’s arm, calming him slightly. He looked to her briefly before speaking again. “I’m sorry you had to get dragged into this, I wish I could protect you from it all.”

He could feel Jo’s gaze on him as his eyes stayed on the road. Alex could almost hear her thinking of how much she wanted to make Izzie pay for what she’d done to him. He was almost certain that pregnant or not, she’d fight Izzie if she came at her again. As if reading his mind Jo let out a chuckle and squeezed his arm reassuringly.

“I’m a big girl, I can stand up to bullies on the playground,” Jo squeezed Alex’s arm once more before bringing her hand to rest on her growing bump. “Let’s just get through today, this isn’t going to go longer than a day once they figure out you’re not those kids dad.”

But it did end up lasting longer… Once they got to the courthouse, Alex realized with a sense of horror that Izzie wasn’t messing around. She had two lawyers and was wearing a dress that looked like it cost more than his paycheck. And she wasn’t holding back anything, her lawyers showed that loud and clear.

“My client went through multiple rounds of chemotherapy, there’s no possible way that she could conceive without the help of artificial insemination and the sample that Doctor Karev provided,” Izzie’s lawyer was a short, pudgy man whose voice echoed through the courtroom unforgivingly. “We’re asking for Doctor Karev to back pay child support for the three years he knew about and took parental responsibility for both children as well as therapy for the children in the wake of his sudden departure.”

“Your Honor, these claims are absurd! Doctors Karev and Stevens performed a blood test that showed that one of the children has a genetic disorder that neither of them have, meaning that if Doctor Stevens did indeed give birth to both children, that Doctor Karev could not be their biological father,” Alex’s lawyer fought back, eyeing Izzie and her lawyers as she spoke. “All we’re asking for is Doctor Karev to be released of all parental responsibility for both children and for Doctor Stevens to repay him the legal fees for these proceedings, as well as cover any other expenses he’s incurred while being involved in this trial.”

A quick and calculated silence followed the statement, Alex’s eyes flitting nervously from Izzie to her lawyer to Jo, who sat behind him with her hands nervously running over her bump. He’d seen Izzie watching her with a venomous expression earlier, Alex’s grip around her waist tightening as they’d shuffled into the courtroom.

“Your Honor, we’d like to call Doctor Josephine Brooke Karev to the stand before we proceed,” Izzie’s other lawyer, a tall woman named Eleanor Krause, stood and gestured towards the witness stand. She wore an almost permanent scowl on her thin face, her dark eyes staring menacingly around the courtroom. “I have a few questions for the other Doctor Karev.”

Jo rose and quietly made her way towards the stand, eyes meeting Alex’s briefly before swearing in and turning to face Miss Krause.

“Doctor Karev, are you and Doctor Alexander Michael Karev still married?”

“No we are currently divorced,” Jo’s voice was clear and stoic as she answered, staring directly at the lawyer questioning her. “We’ve been divorced for almost three years now.”

“And the dissolution of your marriage occurred when separated he moved to Kansas to be with Doctor Stevens?”

“Correct…,” then quickly adding, “after learning of their existence, Alex determined he needed to sever all ties with Seattle to be there completely for his children. At least who he thought were his children.”

Krause’s eyes lit up suddenly, a wicked smile appearing on her face as she stared down Jo. Alex could feel his stomach drop, knowing that whatever the woman was going to say next would not be friendly or civil.

“And you also have a child fathered by Doctor Alexander Michael Karev, is that right?”

“Yes, my daughter Harper Josephine Karev, who is two, and the child I’m carrying now are both Alex’s,” Jo’s brow furrowed, hand settling onto her abdomen as she watched the woman take a step closer to her. “I don’t see what that has to do with the case at hand though.”

“I just want to know if the other Doctor Karev paid you child support during your first pregnancy and the two years of your daughter’s life that he wasn’t present,” Krause’s voice was practically dripping with malice as she stared Jo down. “I mean, we are here to make sure that he’s doing his duty as a father, whether he’s in the same state as his children or not, right? So, has he been paying child support to you, Doctor Karev?”

Jo’s eyes flitted to Alex nervously, his own telling her that it was okay to tell the truth. To be honest, he was scared what Jo’s answer would affect in the case, but he knew that at the end of the day he wouldn’t have to pay a dime to Izzie because her kids were not his.

“No he hasn’t, but he didn’t know he had a daughter until four months ago,” Jo argued, turning momentarily to the judge. “He’s been a present and wonderful father since he’s known about Harper.”

“Doctor Karev, are you sure beyond a reasonable doubt that both of your children are indeed Alex’s children? Did you not have your daughter shortly after your now ex husband left you?”

“What’s the relevance here,” Alex’s lawyer finally stood and challenged the woman accosting Jo. “Doctor Josephine Karev’s children shouldn’t have any effect on her ex husband's child support case! It’s cruel and malicious to be questioning her like this on the stand.”

Alex turned to glare at Izzie, angered that she wore the same expression as her shifty lawyer. She knew about what Krause was plotting, he would put money on the fact that she’d planted the seed of whatever cruel idea it was in her head.

“I’m just questioning Doctor Alexander Karev’s intentions when it comes to his children, however many that may be,” Krause shrugged, eyes narrowing in Jo’s direction. “You’ve filed papers to move forward with adding Alexander to your daughter’s legal paperwork, is that correct?”

That all too familiar feeling of horror flooded Alex’s senses again, overtaking everything as he watched Jo answer affirmatively, her eyes moving to him again. There were tears welling up in them now, the fear he felt in the room spreading to her as well. His breathing hitched as he listened to Izzie’s lawyer prattle on once more, her biting voice breaking through his mental fog.

“I’d like to request a hold on any formal paternity proclamations concerning Doctor Alexander Michael Karev’s alleged children until their paternity can be confirmed via DNA testing,” Krause moved her line of sight to Jo once more, a sharp note ringing through the courtroom as she delivered her final, jarring blow. “I’d like to request that all four of Doctor Karev’s alleged children are tested, I believe that Josephine here is still well within the window to have an amniocentesis performed.”

“No, hell no!” Alex stood from his chair, eyes blazing as he stared down Krause. “I am not letting you poke and prod my wife just for a damn child support case, especially one she’s not directly involved in.”

Both Alex and his lawyer turned pleadingly towards the judge, who was eyeing both Izzie and Alex warily. He was never one to feel anxious, but he couldn’t help the worry mounting in his chest. Finally, the judge spoke, his words directed towards Izzie’s lawyers.

“How long would this process take?”

“If we proceeded with the amniocentesis, we’d have results in as soon as three weeks,” Krause’s eyes moved to Alex, a sick look of delight glowing in them. “If you’re uncomfortable with that though, we can draw this case out until the baby is born.”

“I’ll do it,” Jo’s voice rang out before anyone else could answer, making all eyes in the courtroom turn to her. Alex felt his heart constrict as he watched her speak. “I’ll do the amnio, I don’t mind.”

“With Doctor Josephine Karev’s confirmation, I’m adjourning this case until the DNA results for Alexis Isobel Stevens, Eli George Stevens, Harper Josephine Karev, and Doctor Josephine Karev’s unborn child come back. Court adjourned, you may leave now,” the judge rose and left the courtroom quickly, not bothering to witness the pure mayhem that descended upon the room.

“You did this on purpose,” Alex was up and out of his seat before anyone could stop him, feet heading towards Izzie who wore a smug expression as she looked him over. “You disgust me, you’ve weaponized your own children against me and now you’re trying to jeopardize the health of my unborn child and wife?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Alex,” Izzie batted her eyelashes in Alex’s direction, her self satisfied smirk growing as she watched him become more angry. “Looking forward to seeing you again!”

Before he could respond to Izzie, a gentle hand pressed into Alex’s back and ushered him towards the exit. Jo’s presence, even if he hadn’t looked into her eyes yet, was an instant calming effect over him.

As soon as they stepped into the hallway, Jo and Alex were in each other’s embrace, steadying breaths matching the others as they tried to come to terms with what had just happened. Her face pressed against his chest, Alex could feel the slow shuddering breaths that left Jo as he held her. He knew the questions Izzie's lawyer had posed were ones that were a sore spot for Jo, ones she’d begged him not to believe as she’d cried into his arms just a few weeks earlier.

“Just one punch,” Jo mumbled the words against Alex’s chest, looking up to make sure he heard her. “Please? I just wanna punch her one time.”

Alex chuckled, looking down at Jo with a glint in his eye, “You know I can’t let you do that, even though it would make me happier than I care to admit.”

“You kept calling me your wife in there,” Jo pressed her hands against the lapels of Alex’s suit, avoiding his stare as she fixed her gaze on her hands. “I don’t hate hearing you say that again.”

The words made Alex’s heart stutter under Jo’s gentle touch, his mind racing as he took in fully what she was saying. Did she really want to be his wife again? After years of him being away, of her raising their daughter on her own? After he had all but abandoned her and told her via letter?

Watching Jo for another moment, Alex brought his fingers under her chin and met her eyes, “You wanna marry me again? After all the shit we’ve been through?”

“For some reason I do, you make me better,” Jo finally lifted her gaze back to Alex’s face, eyes welling with tears as she spoke. “You’ve given me the best things in my life, you’ve made me a better person. And if we can get through some of the things that have been thrown at us, then I truly think we can get through everything. I love you Alex, more than I can ever say to you. I know you think you’ve fucked up, but through the past few months you’ve shown me how much you’ve grown.”

Not knowing what to say, Alex leaned down and captured Jo’s lips with his own. If there was one thing that was almost always blaringly clear for him, it was that he didn’t deserve the woman in his arms. He couldn’t begin to fathom how much it had taken to forgive him, to even trust him again after what he’d done. But just as she’d always done, Jo saw him for who he really was underneath all of his layers of bullshit.

“We can go right now, we are in the courthouse,” Alex joked, prompting Jo to roll her eyes and gently slap his chest before walking towards the exit. “What? Not a funny joke? We had fun last time and the SUV has a bigger backseat than the Audi did.” “Mmm yeah, you know we made a baby that night, right?,” Jo raised her eyebrows, a mischievous grin lighting up her face as she took in Alex’s shocked expression. “You have really good luck, you know? You made one baby in the backseat of a car and another on the floor of an elevator.”

A peel of laughter escaped Jo as she tried to unsuccessfully move away from Alex’s grip on her hips, instead falling back into his arms as his lips grazed her neck.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, woman,” Alex whispered the words as he turned Jo around in his arms. “Weren’t you just trying to jump me in the bathroom a few hours ago? Is the car not up to your standards?”

“No, I’m just thinking that Link is keeping Harper overnight and our bed probably got to the new house already,” Jo smirked in satisfaction at the dark look that fell over Alex’s eyes at her suggestion. “Now's as good a time as any to start christening the place. Unless you can’t keep up with a younger woman?”

“Josephine Karev, you know I can keep up with you any day of the week,” Alex’s lips ghosted Jo’s ear as he lowered his voice, pressing her closer to him and making his aroused state perfectly clear for her. “Let’s go, before we have no choice but to finish things up in the car.”

+

Twenty four hours after leaving the courthouse, Alex and Jo find themselves in an exam room on the OB floor. With the amniocentesis being court ordered and both of them wanting to get things over as quickly as possible, they’d booked the first appointment that was available.

“How are you not nervous,” Alex sat beside Jo, her hand in his as Carina ran an ultrasound wand over Jo’s stomach. “I mean I’m not trying to make you nervous, but you know what happens here!”

“Can’t be any worse than a 15 hour unmedicated labor that ended with a 9 pound baby making its way out of your vagina,” Jo shrugged, Carina chuckling quietly next to her. “I came up with some very interesting curse words that day.”

Alex and Jo both watched the ultrasound screen intently, their baby reaching one leg up to kick at the probe. Carina furrowed her brow, watching the baby move languidly on the screen, “You’re going to have to get them to calm down, I cannot go in while they’re kicking all around like that.”

“Talk to them, they always calm down when you talk to them,” Jo turned to Alex and raised her eyebrows. “Go on! I don’t have all day to lay here Alex.” Alex looked between Jo and Carina before leaning down and speaking in the same mellow tone that Jo had become so used to hearing while they laid in bed at night, “Hey kiddo, you gotta slow down in there. Your mom and I are tangled up in this stupid ass thing-”

“Alex!”

“And we’d really appreciate it if you cooperated so we could get this done,” Alex glanced to the ultrasound screen, noticing that the erratic movements had lessened and the baby had calmed. “See, that’s more like it. You know your sister is very excited to meet you, she keeps running around talking about how she’s gonna be a ‘big shitser’ which is super adorable if not the most inappropriate thing to come out of a two year olds mouth.

“She wants to name you Elsa or Hei Hei, those are the options I was presented with a few nights ago anyways. I don’t think she really gets it, but she’s gonna be great,” Jo’s eyes closed quickly as Carina pulled out the needle, her hand squeezing Alex’s. “Okay you gotta be super still now, mom’s got a big needle in her-”

“You are not helping me, Alex.” “And she’s all done! Look at that, easy peasy,” Alex pressed a kiss to Jo’s forehead, following the once again active baby on the screen. “Hey look at that, baby’s flashing us!”

Jo sat up quickly, eyes scanning the screen as well with a laugh, “Well that’s one way to do a gender reveal.”

Alex leaned up to kiss Jo, laughter bubbling from both of them as they let the realization sink in. They had a house, they had two healthy kids, they had the promise of a great big future ahead of them. Court case be damned, they were happy and things were going right between them for once.

[hwallout]

our little secret (i) - csy

summary: as a CEO of one of the country’s most powerful companies, you had your secrets to success. no one ever gained power without ruthless, filthy and unfair play, it’s all okay if no one knows right? well, what happens when your little secrets fall into the hands of someone you can’t get rid of that easily?

words: 2,7k

genre: angst, drama, future smut

warnings: language and implied (just implied) death

early an: i need feedback with this one because i’m unsure if i should continue

[part two]

[part three]

[part four]

“Miss” A rather panicked female quickly entered the office. You couldn’t quite put a name on the woman walking in, but the familiar pair of thick glasses and a skirt that’s tad bit too short, made you remember seeing her around.

“Miss, we have a relatively huge problem,” She continued, closing the leather doors carefully and running towards the desk, before which she lifted her glasses to fit neatly on the bridge of her nose. “This isn’t code red, oh no, this is code God help us what are we going to do”.

You suddenly remembered the name of the person ahead of her. It was Hayoon. The loud, social butterfly that rambles way too much. You weren't sure why the female was in the management team, even less why she was hired in the first place. The only reason why Hayoon was still working was that she knew way too much about the company and would be too big of a hassle to get rid of. Mentally preparing yourself for whatever news, you looked up and lifted an eyebrow as a sign for the other to continue.

“Can I take a seat, please?” Hayoon asked and after a quick and strict nod of her boss, she took purchase on the soft leather seat in front of the desk.  “Our information is in the hands of someone who shouldn’t have them, again”.

Laughing was your only reaction to that. It only meant you’ll have to threaten and strengthen the security department for the third time this year. Fortunately, the information never made it past the person who “got a hold of it”.  

“So do what we did in the past, problem sorted out. You can leave now” You were about to dismiss the smaller and turn back to the computer screen, when Hayoon spoke up again. Sighing out loud and rolling your eyes to another dimension, you impatiently continued listening.

“We can’t send hitmen after them this time, Miss”

“Gosh, stop beating around the bush, will you? There’s not a single person our hitmen can’t take out” The precious time Hayoon was currently wasting will come back and bite you in the ass. You were trying to somehow arrange a meeting with the representatives from a rival company and every second was crucial. Every single word and step had to be planned out perfectly, therefore a lack of time would mean the end.

“It’s Cho Seungyoun, Miss, he entered the database” the younger gulped and looked down at her hands, suddenly processing the situation she was in and mentally preparing for what’s to come.

Immediately, all color drained from your face, only a quick moment of not feeling anything before dreadful rage enveloped your whole body. Suddenly standing up from the comfortable seat and slamming a firm fist on the mahogany table, you tried taking a deep breath to calm the storm. Taking all of your anger off the leash won’t help the situation, be cautious.  

But holy shit, it was Seungyoun. The only son of Mr. Cho, the CEO of your rival company. Shit really couldn’t have hit a bigger fan.

“Are you...sure? Have you double-checked?” For the first time, your voice was fragile and quiet, lungs suddenly needing more air than usual. Even through a thick pair of glasses, Hayoon began doubting her vision, not believing the unusual sight before her. The formidable and fearless boss now resembled a frightened kitten, hands beginning to shake and breathing becoming irregular.

The female took a second to regain her thoughts. Then, with a deep sigh and averted gaze, she spoke up.

“Yes, boss. We’ve checked a couple of times from numerous devices. The location has been set at the residency of Mr. Cho and I doubt anyone would dare hack and fake the location. At least not there” Hayoon stated, crossing her long legs and straightening the slightly hunched posture.

Much unlike a few minutes ago, the female spoke with a precise and calm voice. You appreciated her jumping straight to the point this time.

“When did this happen?” You whispered, eyes still wide open and observing every move of the other, much like a predator would stare down its prey. Hayoon took out her expensive, foldable phone and tapped something on the screen, a bright white display reflecting off her glasses. She didn’t need to scroll down, for it was the first folder that she tapped before turning the screen to you.  

“It happened twenty minutes before I walked in here. This is the warning email we’ve received at 9:20. These are the contents of the warning email, containing the given location, and these are all the location checks we’ve done” While speaking, the female pointed at all the files, noticing your unusual frown.

Then, as if planned, the computer on the desk made a dinging sound, snapping you out of your daze. Leaning back and looking in the direction of the bigger screen. You inspected the popup of a new mail for a short second before it disappeared and left you anxiously staring at the unfinished reply intended for Mr. Cho.

Except it seemed that you didn’t have to finish it anymore, for the man happened to email you before you did.  

“What is it, boss?” Hayoon spoke, retrieving her extended hand and sitting back into the leather chair. Without answering, you leaned forward, immediately checking what the other had to say before deciding what to do. For the first time, anxiety was eating you alive, the confidence and composure were long gone as you hurriedly navigated through the inbox.

After thorough consideration and discussion with our HQ, we’ve decided that we’d like to schedule a meeting to further discuss our cooperation plans. Please reply with the suitable time for the meeting so the procedure can continue as planned

It was as if a ton has been raised off your chest, the air suddenly becoming clearer and easier to breathe. Unfortunately, the feeling didn’t last long. It allowed you just enough time to call your assistant and clear out any schedules for tomorrow, before another popup of a new mail appeared.

Sighing out in frustration at the unknown email, you opened it, already ready to report it for spam, when-

Make it worth our while and don’t try any of your stupid marketing games. Know what is at stake and what could go wrong. This is a friendly reminder.

There were no clear leads on who could’ve sent that, but you knew. It was horrendously obvious and suddenly a strong shiver ran down your spine. Looking up from the screen, you met eyes with a worried Hayoon that still sat calmly at the seat in front. Leaning your forehead into the palm of the left hand, you sighed out loud.

“We’re fucked”

The meeting was scheduled pretty late, at 4pm. It didn’t help your apprehension that you’ve barely had any sleep last night. Whenever the eyelids shut, a familiar figure would appear in the dark, wickedly laughing at the troubled female. Cho Seungyoun.

You’ve only ever seen the young man in the news or heard about him from fellow associates. Descriptions were numerous, ranging from him being daddy’s spoilt little boy to a trustworthy and strong heir to the position. Although the media was easy to judge and exaggerate every little mistake of Seungyoun’s, one thing they’ve managed to portray correctly and faithfully was his beauty.

The man was breathtaking so to say. The general public often said his mother was the one who passed the genes, considering that she used to be Miss Korea back in the good old days.

Still, although you’ve seen his pictures, that preparation could never be enough for the God that currently stood on the other side of the table. Seungyoun’s built was admirable; broad shoulders, strong arms, and a small waist that the jacket of his suit emphasized perfectly. His parted to the side, black hair fell beautifully in waves over his forehead, almost hiding the black irises that never once left your form. Seungyoun locked you down, much like prey.

He observed every move, listened to each word you replied to his father with and studied the papers you sent around the table. Seungyoun didn’t speak and you hated to admit it, but his presence was intimidating. Not even the way Mr. Cho spoke or behaved, with precise, calculated movements and words, came close to Seungyoun’s silence. Yet, you had to act it out.

“Before we officially seal the deal, is there something else you’d like to discuss, Miss?” Mr. Cho asked, palms pressed together and placed on the marble table. You thought about it, quickly ran through the whole hour and a half long meeting, trying to remember if any important points were missed out on. Your gaze once again fell on Seungyoun, and that’s when it occurred-

“Right-”  

“May I ask a question, father?” The young man interrupted, speaking for the first time during the meeting (if we exclude the formal introductions). Upon hearing the calm but stern tone, you unconsciously straightened up your back, feeling a slight shiver running down its expanse. After his father gave him the ‘go on’, you motioned for the other to continue. It wasn't clear as to why Seungyoun was searching for the elder’s permission when he was interrupting you.

“Do meetings and deals with Your respective company always go this easy?” Seungyoun questioned, sending you a curious look that was immediately deemed fake. It was obvious through the sudden glint in his pupils, as the man rose his chin up slightly, showing a distinguishable amount of confidence. He tried to moderately insult you. Everyone knew it isn’t good to always be signing deals immediately, it’s usually considered a misplay – but you just couldn’t miss out on this opportunity.  

Although you didn’t want to, you laughed at his question. With head bowing down to regain the previously composed façade, you almost missed the surprised and unpleasant look Mr. Cho sent in the direction of his son. One chance and he almost screwed it up. The man knew such questions were unprofessional and unprofessionalism only led to failure in industries such as these.  

Seungyoun probably thought you were scared, or more so walking on thin ice, carefully choosing what words to speak with and which gestures to make. While all of that was partially correct, you still caught on to the exchange of looks between the two. That was your chance to grasp at least the smallest bits of control again.

“I’m sorry for his thoughtless interruption” Mr. Cho turned forwards again, bowing his head. Despite the words being apologetic, his voice didn’t waver, didn’t show any kind of emotion. Yet, his eyes seemed to soften.

“It’s okay. I didn’t expect much, anyway. The heir is still learning” Ouch. You most probably shouldn’t have stepped on the wound, for Seungyoun’s eyes opened wide and an audible gulp was heard throughout the room. That emotion stayed for only a moment on the younger’s face, before a smirk appeared on his beautiful lips. Why?

The words were sent as a direct insult to his son, but the CEO didn’t seem to mind. The other even nodded along and shrugged after you finished talking, as if to say ‘I know’.

“To answer the question, no. We have different partners throughout the year, so does everyone. As you should know by now, all of them demand different things and set their own goals. The way a discussion or a meeting goes doesn’t depend on my own company only, it’s a group effort. Some plans go smoothly, some... not as much. Your company just seems very promising and reliable from the beginning”  

You sent a fake smile in the direction of the smirking male, before turning to look at his father. The said man nodded along, then gestured towards you while looking at his son.

“See son, this extremely young but aspiring woman leads one of the country's most powerful companies. You have a lot to learn from her dear Seungyoun”

At the words, your chest swelled with indescribable pride. It was a reminder of the times your parents used to boast you on, calling you ambitious and smart while talking to others, describing how far you’ll get in life. Oh, how delightful they’d feel if they were to see their little darling right now.

The CEO seemed to have asked a question, for he was looking at you with a rather expectant expression. Unfortunately, due to the little diverting of thought, you didn’t quite manage to catch what his question was.

“Excuse me?”

“You were about to say something before my son interrupted You, Miss. Would You still like to talk about it?” The other asked, straightening his posture and fixing his somewhat loosened tie.  

“No, it’s nothing important. We may sign the contract right now if You’re okay with it, Mr. Cho” You answered with a polite tone and another one of those top-notch fake smiles. Fixing a stray piece of hair behind your ear, you stood up and approached the middle of the table where the contracts were stacked. The male did the same, bending down to sign the papers at the same time.  

Once the contracts were done and over with, the CEO extended one of his hands for a handshake and placed the other on your shoulder.  

“Thank You. We’re looking forward to only the best results, Miss”

“Same here, Mr.Cho, thank You too”

There was almost no conversation as everyone in the room picked their own stuff up. The atmosphere was still formal, but not quite so tense. Your assistant Eunha read tomorrow’s schedule off her huge tablet, all while informing you that the drive back to your residence was already outside the Cho enterprise. Thank god, for there was no more work today, just this one hour and a half meeting were enough to beat a man dead tired.

Feet hurting from the uncomfortable heels, tight dress beginning to squeeze way too hard, you just couldn’t wait to go back to the comfort of your own home. Hurrying after Eunha, Mr. Cho and his bodyguards, you were about to walk through the open glass door when an unknown force yanked you back.

Without any time to properly process the situation, you were pushed against a wall, Seungyoun’s face just mere inches away from yours. The male’s breath was calm, while his eyes appeared darker than usual. One of his hands was positioned next to your head, fingers splayed wide. Although the male was doing this to intimidate, somehow you didn’t feel scared at all.

“Listen, just because I’m still only an heir and my parents are still alive, doesn’t mean you can try me like that. I know quite a lot, so do not play with me in such ways, baby” Seungyoun had the audacity to smirk, but instead of making your heart skip a beat like most females, you felt sick and agitated.

“Don’t fucking mention my parents if you have nothing nice to say” The reply was all but a growl at the other, and with a straightened posture, you looked him straight into the eyes. Seungyoun was quite taken aback, not really expecting the aggression you showcased.

“Shouldn't a girl like you be more polite? Do keep that in mind the next time we see each other, darling” Seungyoun spoke, his tone empty, not showcasing any kind of emotion. If anything, the other was trying to push your disturbance further. And gosh, those darned pet names.

It seemed as if the other had nothing left to say, for he took a step back and delicately fixed his loosened tie. Just as he was about to turn around and arrogantly walk away, you spoke up.

“Be happy that there won’t be a next time”

At that, the male turned around and looked at you for the last time with the most wicked of grins. The tone he used next was completely different than before, for it seemed to express mockery.  

“Oh? Believe me, we’re just getting started”

[smartguyreviewed]

2x5 - Dumbstruck

Original air date:  October 8, 1997

Yay, an episode where TJ is actually acting like a kid! And also an excuse for me to rant about how much I despise group projects.

A very over it Lisa Simpson (played by Yeardley Smith) is handing back tests to her dumb ass students save for TJ and this annoying white kid named Clark that we’ll be introduced to briefly because Mackey ended up being the lead token white on this show, right next to Yvette’s cute friend Nina.

Clark asks how TJ did. He humble brags and Marcus snatches his test to gloat about his brother finally not doing well at something. Sike! TJ got a 110 on his assignment. Marcus is dumbfounded since he clearly doesn’t even put in the bare minimum. 

Lisa has to remind Marcus that demonstrating how you actually studied will get you more points. She gives her lazy, remedial students a chance to make up for their piteous attempts with a makeup assignment, an oral group report on WW2. Now everyone is mad at TJ because he fucked up the curve of the grading system, facilitating the need for a makeup assignment. Mackey is pissed.

Marcus and Mo of course decide to stick all the work on TJ while they go to Dawgburger. TJ, now wanting to fit in with his cool brother and bestie, agrees but is promptly thrown into a garbage can by Mackey and his 30 year old goon when they give him shit for being smart. Because the plot calls for it in this episode, TJ isn’t masterminding a plan to put fudged up charges on Mackey’s record or flunk him out of school forever. 

At the Henderson crib, TJ is attempting to do the assignment but the boys are watching The Three Stooges with non-copyright stock sound effects and can’t be bothered to lower the volume. Even Floyd stops scolding Marcus and Mo to join them. Apparently, TJ thinks being a genius and being entertained by slapstick are mutually exclusive.

Yvette is in the kitchen frowning at her fruitless yogurt when TJ comes in to whine about feeling left out. Yvette, as usual, is there to provide motherly advice and reassure TJ that he’s too brilliant to relate to simpleton humor. She even suggests that he’ll be the only non crooked black politician on the Supreme Court. Aww. TJ will revenge porn her in the future.

Just then, a truck pulls in with daddy Floyd’s wood--hehe--and the boys, including Mo, gather in the garage to bring in Floyd’s wood--last time, I promise--to wherever it needs to go.

Yvette comes in after the gang delegates how the work flow will commence and then commands the plot for the episode when she tells TJ his shoe is untied while Mo and Marcus are handing boards to each other. This ended well.

After passing out, Marcus, who is terrifyingly not alarmed, just calls for Floyd and then we end up at the hospital where it seems that TJ’s relatively light board smack has now rendered him dumb. Not only dumb but more childish than usual.

Marcus cares nothing about TJ’s prognosis, however, because he is a horny teenage boy and the doc is hot. Yvette has to literally drag him out of the room by his ear.

The doctor tells Floyd that this strange concussion could leave TJ acting like this for weeks. Of course Floyd is concerned since TJ is gifted. The next morning, TJ is so forgetful and delayed at breakfast that Floyd and Yvette have to play charades to help him navigate feeding himself.

Marcus comes in and asks if TJ is back to normal because he doesn’t want to do anything that makes him use his own damn brain for a change. After Flody sees this because Marcus did it right in the kitchen where he was about three feet away, he of course takes Marcus aside to tell him to quit badgering TJ to get well again.

At school, Mo thinks it’s a good idea to simply undo TJ’s problem by hitting him in the head again. Since we’re working off corny sitcom logic, he’s not exactly off base here. I mean, it did only take two light hits from a wooden board to turn TJ into an imbecile so why not do the same to get him back to normal, right?

During class, TJ is wowing everyone with his diminished IQ that was announced to everyone in the class for some reason. Eh, it’s Piedmont so I really shouldn’t be surprised that all of his business is out there.

Lisa is pissed because now that TJ is dumb and she hates Clark for some reason, teaching will be damn near impossible because nobody participates. I think I feel her pain because she asks a super easy question (what naval base did the Japanese attack) and nobody but annoying ass Clark answers. Poor thing. She probably came into this profession bright-eyed and bushy tailed, ready to change students’ lives and become the next Erin Gruwell but ended up becoming nothing more than a de facto babysitter.

TJ is taking advantage of being one of the guys by making fun of the more deadly effects of dropping bombs and says it led to radioactive monsters. The boys laugh but Lisa is aggy that nobody is taking this seriously. To spite her idiot students, she makes the reports worth half of their grade. Mackey blames Clark instead of the teacher who literally just assigned it. For some reason, this tickles Clark even though he’s going to end up in the garbage soon.

Since TJ is one of the guys again, he manages to tag along with the crew at Dawgburger, a place he wasn’t invited to earlier since he was going to do their group assignment all by himself. In hindsight, I hated group projects because I did all of the work anyways since my cohorts were dumb as rock boxes, so this wouldn’t have bothered me at all. Abolish group projects!

Post Dawgburger, TJ is in bed reading a comic and shooting the shit with Marcus. This is sweet. I like seeing siblings bond on TV shows because the regular narrative always seems to involve them all hating each other. Here, there’s no drama, just Marcus actually being responsible because he’s studying for the oral report and TJ, in what would be his natural state if he weren’t a genius. They even have a heart to heart when TJ asks if he’ll be okay and what would happen once he’s back to normal. Marcus says he’ll still stick up for him. Aww.

In geometry the next day, TJ’s intelligence just comes right back after he flawlessly recites the Pythagorean theorem when the dorky teacher asks. Once he realizes this, and after having probably the few easiest days in a while, TJ understandably commits to pretending to be a dolt. That is until pops sees TJ’s quantum physics magazine inside of a comic book!

Floyd traps TJ by making up a pretty damn good scenario in the Jughead comics but later confirms the lie by letting TJ know that wasn’t in the comic. He goes into how he likes being dumb with the guys because they like him more. Makes sense! TJ has nothing in common with them outside of attending their school but now he’s intellectually on their level. He knows this would change once he goes back to his regular self. Floyd should know this too but alas. I do love how he tells TJ he won’t rat on him. TJ returns the favor by telling his dad that he should write for the Jughead comics because that story he made up made him LOL super hard.

We cut to school where Mackey is just finishing up his group presentation about the X-Men invading Iwo Jima. Lisa Simpson isn’t impressed. Marcus and crew are up next and poor Marcus is struggling. I think it’s so funny that Marcus, a singer with a whole ass band, has stage fright upon trying to remember everything he studied for but just goes to show that music comes easier to him than school.

The internal monologues of everyone come up. Marcus is trying to remember what he studied. TJ contemplates bringing his brain back. Mo is...fucking beatboxing in his head. This shit had me dead when I first saw this episode. 

However, Lisa ain’t having it. She is two seconds away from using the dreaded red pen before TJ saves the day and begins talking about WW2. The boys are shocked but it helps trigger Marcus’s memory and then he’s able to spew out the facts. Mo doesn’t contribute but he will definitely take the credit! 

Later in the Henderson crib, Marcus is pissed because TJ almost let them fail. Although TJ is reminding Marcus that he put his effort into something and it paid off, Marcus is still annoyed leading TJ to think he doesn’t like him anymore.

Marcus explains that he enjoyed TJ’s company when he was dumb because he finally felt like what he is: his older brother. Kind of hard to feel that way when your younger brother is better at everything you do and a major know-it-all. He even admits that he can’t even pretend now that TJ is smart again because it won’t feel the same. I like when Marcus is doing more than chasing girls every episode because he shows maturity at times that is pleasing to watch.

He offers to instead be an older brother in other ways like threatening other people with violence if they make fun of TJ. Cute, but we all know Marcus is scary. Nice gesture though! Floyd comes in and tells the boys good night. At the end, we see Floyd took TJ up on his advice and is submitting an idea to the Jughead comics. Aww Floyd. I wish we’d gotten a subtle nod to if his idea was used because he seemed really happy with himself afterwards. Eh, whatever. Parents aren’t people so who cares.

Things I noticed:

- Clark being oddly satisfied that he knows Mackey and his fellow middle-aged adult friend are going to put him in the trash. Clark either has a crush on Mackey and didn’t like TJ for the attention he got from Mackey or he has some sort of a trash fetish. Or both. Maybe that’s why Lisa doesn’t fuck with him.

- “Okay students, now watch as I turn left to a right triangle.” I’m a dork and this actually made me laugh. Tough classroom, though.

[jiracheer]

!!! My very first request!!! 🥺 I was so happy to see this in my inbox!! Sorry these are a bit long, but I hope you enjoy nevertheless anon!! 💕💕 pls forgive any grammar mistakes! im p sure i wrote this around 2 AM LMAO

__________________________________________

{ Haikyuu boys taking you out on your first date HCs }

ASAHI AZUMANE

we all know he's rlly nervous about y'alls first date

he probably asks the boys for help about places to go, and how to ask you out!!

Suga, Daichi, Yachi, Kiyoko, Ennoshita, and Yams are super helpful!! They give him a lot of helpful tips, and even help him figure out a way to ask you out in the most perfect way possible!

Tsukki, Noya, Tanaka, Kags, and Hinta were little to no help. Their Ideas were... Good, but they weren't what he was looking for. He appreciates their help in the end 

you both tend to walk home together. It really depends though! Sometimes you're down to wait until practice is over, and sometimes you just wanna go home and do your own thing

so on one of the walks home, he stops you halfway and asks you if you wanted to go roller skating date with him over the weekend

his face is so red

and so is yours because you never would've thought he'd ask you out on a date

he thinks you're about to reject him because you're just standing there in silence

"Y-You don't- We don't have to go-"

"No! Wait! I do wanna go out with you!"

the rest of the walk home is really awkward, but there's a sweet smile on y'alls faces

when the day finally comes, Asahi picks you up from your house and you're 🥺

he's wearing a cute pair of jeans with a wooly sweater over a white button up, and converse

and you're like,,, omg, did i underdress?? i need to look as cute as that??? and you look like you're about to go back inside and change, but he stops you halfway and tells you that you look cute

last minute he pulls out a handful of flowers, and you're about to cry because he's so damn cute, but then he apologizes bc lowkey they're kinda crushed

but its okay

you put them inside and y'all start leaving

y'all chat about whatever and you walk close to him, and you hold onto his arm and lean against him

when it comes to the skating part? y'all are dying.

you both cling to the walls until you finally find the confidence to skate, and you're FERAL. You're zooming around, and Asahi is just watching you with big eyes and a blush

you try your best to pull him off the wall, and skate with you, and he was terrified! man almost peed his pants! but eventually you peel him off and he's SHAKING

this tall beefy man that could snap you in half, is leaning on you and holding onto you for dear life, and you're the only thing between him and the floor

it takes him a hot minute before he's finally able to stand without busting his ass, or shaking, so you take his hand and y'all are just vibing

when the couple song comes on? He's heading towards the exit and you tug him BACK into the rink, and you're like :) "let's skate!!"

he almost passes out

he never would've thought you'd want to skate with him during a couple turn 🥺

he holds your hand real tight, and you interlace your fingers with him. and it's just really nice

Asahi leans against you again but it's not as heavy, it's a good weight that you wanna feel all night long

y'all decide to split a pizza and an icee, and you're just hanging out at your table and you're just sitting close and 🥺🥺🥺

his face is close to yours when you talk, and you're hugging his arm and you just lay your head on his shoulder

im so fuckin soft

eventually, you get really tired and it's time to go home

Asahi takes you home and nervously takes your hand before you go in, and he kisses your knuckles and wishes you goodnight

the second you're inside? you're dying

Asahi is also dying

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

you and Iwa are probably already pretty close, and you both knew how you felt, but neither one of you knew how to approach the situation

bc no cap?

Iwa was lowkey waiting for YOU to say something

while you were waiting for IWA to say something

and the whole team is sick and tired of it. Especially Oikawa

He just wants to see his two favorite people get together!!!

So he urged Iwa to say something after one of their matches

and thats when you both decide to finally make plans for a date, and you both suggested going bowling

and y'all just kinda looked at each other

and laughed really fuckin hard

You both decide to just meet up there since it would be easier for the both of you

he looks rlly cute in his usual attire of just a good pair of jeans, hoodie, and a jacket above it

and you're like. eyein that jacket. you want it by the end of the night

so you two go in, get your shoes, and start heading down to the lanes

on god, you're nervous. you're scared of your fingers getting stuck in the balls

you tell Iwa and he laughs at you, telling you that it won't happen if you're careful

you kinda eye him like uhmmm if you say so????

but you're still careful

y'all decide to name each other

Iwa is a gentleman, so he makes your nickname 'Sunshine :)'

sadly tho, you decide to be a lil shit, and his nickname is 'Oikawa's whore'

he punches your arm and you're in tears from how hard you're laughing

y'all decide to place a bet at the start since you wanted to add some spice to the date

you make a bet that if iwa wins, you're paying for the food, and if you win, he pays for the food

eventually you start playing and he's way ahead of you, and you're hitting his back jealous that he's winning

iwa is laughing in your face and he reaches for another ball. you have a feeling that this is gonna be the ball that makes you lose

you just watch in horror as he lifts the ball

he's preparing to throw it...

and!

he's sent forward, collapsing onto the ground with a double heavy thud

you blink.

and then you LAUGH REALLY FUCKIN HARD

Karma is a bitch! Iwa's fingers got stuck in the ball, and he's just laying there dumbfounded, and you're laughing

you have to help him up eventually, and you're trying so hard not to cry/shout in laughter. He's all red, but you help his fingers out and y'all sit down

you look over his hand and you're making sure his fingers aren't broken or anything

iwa just watches your tiny lil hand in his, and his heart is racing SO FAST

it isn't until you kiss his fingertips and tell him that you're gonna go get ice, that this man explodes

he takes your wrist and pulls you down so he can kiss your nose and he thanks you with a tiny mumble

you lowkey die on the spot and stagger away to get his ice, and when you come back there's a bit more pep in your step

you come back and his fingers seem okay, so you just decide maybe it's a good time to start going back home

the walk back is full of laughter and him eventually throwing an arm around your shoulder

you lean into his side and you hold his hand

when he drops you off the two of you just hang out in your porch

and he eventually leans down to kiss you 🥺 and he whispers good night against your lips

he waves you farewell, and you do too

and you know damn well you wanna go on another date with this man

TENDOU SATORI

on god I struggled to think of a date idea for Tendou

bc I was given SOOOOO MANY GOOD DATE IDEAS FOR THIS FUCKER

Tendou decided to ask you out of the blue if you wanted to go to the zoo with him

you were kinda shocked to see that Tendou wanted to go somewhere with YOU of all people

because no cap, you thought u were pretty Lame, and not cool enough to hang out with him, but. 😳 um. you said yes! let's go to the zoo!!!

but you really didn't know if it was a date or not, because he didn't say it, but in your head its a date

you're a lil nervous about going to the zoo with him because you haven't hung around with him one on one

Leon, Semi, and even Toshi, were always with y'all when you two would hang out

so having alone time with him is KINDAAAA intimidating

but when he pulls up to your house so excited to take you out 🥺 all of your anxieties are GONE!!!!!

he does not HESITATE to take your hand. He holds your tiny lil hand in his much bigger one, and he just chats about whatever comes to mind

when y'all are on the train, he sits across from you just so he can watch you stare out the window and admire you AND the view outside

he chose a pretty good day to take you out. the sun was bright and warm, and you were wearing the cutest dress so he knew today was going to be pretty good

the second you get to the zoo he makes sure to buy tickets to ride the train around the zoo, and even access to the carousel

you're about to WWE bodyslam him to the ground for buying you your ticket!! like motherfucker I have the money!!!!!!

you're so close to beating the shit out of him, but he slips the access bracelet around your wrist and slips his fingers through yours and he's like

🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!

anger? gone.

serotonin? here.

your love for him? massive.

hotel? trivago.

you decide to get a map of the zoo so you two know where you're going, and you end up navigating the both of you around

Tendou is going feral over all the animals, and he tugs on you gently to point at whatever animal is doing something he finds exciting

He even goes as far as to pick you up if you can't see a certain animal because they're positioned somewhere high

when it comes to finally going on the small ass train, y'alls legs are basically twisted with eachother and your hip is pressed against his in such an uncomfortable position

its a tight fit!!! im pretty sure your leg is falling asleep

but you can't help but giggle and laugh when Tendou leans over you to see the animals, cheek pressed against yours since you turned your head to look too

ugh. fucker takes this chance to kiss your cheek and nose it, and when you go all red he laughs at you

when you go see the penguins he holds you really close to his side, and hugs you from behind to keep you warm

but also so he can see the penguins better. the penguin house was lowkey full

you have to hold him back from touching most animals that seemed close enough to be touched

y'all get a pretzel and split that shit, but then you're both screaming when a bird swoops down to steal it right from your hands

just as you're about to get on the carousel, there's a distant rumble of thunder and you both stop like ????? brother what??? the sun was OUT

the zoo announces that they would be closing soon due to the rain, and they urge the members to start heading to their cars or whatever other method of transportation

you just look at Tendou like 👁_____👁 wut da hell we gon do...... now?

Tendou looks back at you like queen don't ask me. i didnt think we'd get this far on god

you both decide to just start leaving so you don't get caught in the rain

but wow, what do you know, it starts raining as you walk to the train station

and you BOOK IT

you're screeching as the rain just hits you at full force, and you're holding onto Tendou's arm for dear life, and he's laughing so hard and just stops

you're like ??? IT'S RAINING???? WE GOTTA BLAST BITCH

but listen. This dude is vibing now. He just had such a good day with you, and the rain feels so nice on his hot skin, and he's never felt so much at once

and you kinda just stop and admire him for a bit. So you stand under the rain with him before it gets to be too much, and you take his hand gently and start walking to the station

y'all just hang under the tin roof the station provides

you're both soaked, but sit close to one another to share heat bc y'all kinda stupid for tryin to act out a hallmark movie scene

but hey

at least y'all had fun, right?

[whythinktoomuch]

freaky (and it’s not even friday)

Lena Luthor is getting kidnapped. Again! Apparently, Lex needs her help in designing some sort of Super Weapon™ so his goons have broken into her L-Corp lab and are in the process of hauling her out, kicking & screaming. 

Cue Supergirl crashing to the rescue—causing a shit-ton of property damage in the process, but whatever, they can talk about that later—and the goons are, of course, no match for the mighty Girl of Steel. 

Except, one of them grabs some vaguely gun-shaped prototype off a table & aims it at Supergirl. Later, Lena will admit that it would’ve been smarter to just call out a warning, but she’s never been great about valuing her life in the moment, so instead, she jumps headfirst into the line of fire, and...

... wakes up on the lab floor, all groggy and dazed... She doesn’t know how long she’s been out, but Supergirl & the goons are nowhere to be found. 

With a small groan, Lena goes to sit up and her hand goes right through the floor. She gets about elbow-deep into sealed concrete before she can regain her balance & tug herself free. 

But somehow, her hand doesn’t seem damaged in the least. 

Also, her hand is wrapped up in a deep blue gauntlet. 

Also, it isn’t her hand. 

Lena looks down at herself and sees that very familiar, very obnoxious emblem staring back up at her—albeit upside down—and that’s definitely not her chest, nor her arms, nor her incredibly impracticable red skirt, and okay, but “what the actUAL FU—”

The first thing Lena does is look for her best friend.

Kara seems to have a great relationship with the superhero. The same superhero whose body Lena was inhabiting at the moment for some godawful, godforsaken reason. 

(Well, save for the few times where Kara was putting Supergirl down for Lena’s benefit because what are friends for, right?) 

Lena quite literally breaks into Kara’s apartment & ends up smashing a couch in half and leaving boot-sized indents all over the kitchen floor. 

Maybe navigating flight & super strength was a lot harder than Lena thought, and she should grant Supergirl a little leeway in regards to  her more destructive tendencies.

No. Scratch that. Because Lena could afford to replace everything she’s destroying and when has Supergirl ever offered to foot the bill, hmm? 

... Does Supergirl even get paid? Probably not... Well, hmm. 

Kara’s not home, which makes sense because it’s the middle of the workday, but what doesn’t make sense is that there’s ripped clothes strewn across her bedroom floor. 

Unless... 

Oh my god... 

Is Kara... seeing somebody?? And she didn’t even think to tell her best friend about it??? 

What makes even less sense is that Kara’s glasses are also on the ground for some reason. In all the years that Lena’s known Kara, her friend has never opted for contacts, so why would she leave her glasses at home, let alone on the ground of all places? 

Lena holds the glasses up to her—Supergirl’s—face & looks into the mirror, but her vision remains unaffected.

Wait a second...

Oh my god!

Kara... wears non-prescription glasses?! Does Lena even know who her best friend is anymore?!??

Lena flies to CatCo and thankfully James’s balcony door is already open because this landing thing isn’t getting any easier. 

James looks up startled as Lena skids to a clamorous stop that somehow takes out a couple of chairs & a ficus in the process. 

Lena probably could have used x-ray vision to scan the building for her friend—her lying, keeping all sorts of secrets, effortlessly gorgeous, living a double-life friend—but given her difficulty with the flying & not breaking everything she comes into contact with, maybe it’s better that Lena doesn’t risk burning down half the city with heat vision. Which brings her to James’s office, and...

“Where’s Kara Danvers?” she demands, and James appears even more alarmed. 

“You... you serious...?” 

“I have a stick the size of this entire building up my ass, when am I not serious?” 

“............ What!?” 

Just then, miles upon miles upon miles outside city limits, Kara Danvers wakes up in a cold sweat. 

“It’s about time you joined us, Lena,” Lex says with a cold grin. “I was beginning to think you were just staying unconscious out of spite.” 

Kara looks to her left, then to her right. She tries to squint past Lex’s shoulder, but the only people in the room are her, Lex, and a few of the goons who had tried to kidnap Lena.

“... I’m sorry, come again?” 

(next part here)

[theangriestpea]

The Killing Type | One

Summary: Just when Lavender thought things were going great with Sweet Pea, a new girl comes back to turn to turn their entire relationship upside down. Now they have to navigate a world of drug dealers, rival gangs, and co-parenting. Sequel to Mercy Killing. <ao3> <masterlist> 

Rating: Mature // Explicit

Pairings: Sweet Pea x OC // eventual Jughead Jones x OC

Warnings: referenced teen pregnancy, referenced sexual assault, cheating/lying, PTSD  

Word Count: 5k+

A/N: I cannot believe I wrote this is such a short amount of time, omg. As stated on the final chapter of Mercy Killing, this is a sequel to both Mercy Killing and @the-gargoyle-queen​‘s fic Young Gods. The timelines for both are a little screwed up to make them converge. We begin this series at the end of sophomore year with no time between Mercy Killing chapter 16 and Chapter 1 of The Killing Type, and one year after Young Gods. Try not to focus too much on the lack of continuity for the sake of future plot. I think Lily is a bit OOC in this chapter....I made her into an uber bitch and she's not.

Chapter One - A Mercy Killing 

Lavender stared at Jughead, not at all understanding what he meant by forgiving Sweet Pea. What had he done this time? Of course the two fought more often than not over petty things but they made up hours, sometimes minutes later. It was just their dynamic. “Who is she?” She pressed as he looked at his buzzing phone again.

“Lily is Sweet Pea’s ex but I think he should really be the one to tell you all of it.” He said, his anxiety starting to show with his tone of voice. Lav made a face that he couldn't quite tell what it meant. “Listen, just try to get his side of things before exploding on him, okay?”

She stiffened, not liking his accusation of her tendency to react dramatically to any inconvenience no matter how minor. “Why did no one tell me about her? All this time and I’ve literally never even heard her name before. I don’t understand what the big deal is!” Her voice started to edge on the side of frantic as panic began to flood through her. Who was this girl and why did no one mention her?

Jughead sighed. “It’s complicated, Lav. Sweet Pea told us not to mention her around him. We all agreed that it would be better for you and him if you just didn’t know what went down between them.”

“So, everyone collectively decided that I, Sweet Pea’s girlfriend, didn’t need to know about someone who was obviously very important to him? Why is he hiding her from me, does he still have feelings for her or something?” She asked, her tone turning accusatory. Jughead put his hands up to try and calm her down, but instead she stood. “Whatever, Jug. I’m going home. Have fun talking to your new best friend.”

“She’s not-!” Before he could finish she had slammed the door behind her. Jughead sighed and sunk down into the old couch. Things were about to get a lot more complicated.

Lavender made a bee-line for her trailer as fast as her short legs would carry her. She was fuming at the thought that everyone kept some big secret from her, and worse of all she was dying to know what it was. She sent a quick text to Sweet Pea, demanding he come over to “come clean” when he was done with his job. Sweet Pea, being ever the oblivious asshole, had no idea what he needed to come clean about but figured the purple haired girl would fill him in when he got there.

Hours later, once Sweet Pea was done running bike parts to Centerville, he walked into the Rhodes trailer having no idea what shit storm was about to be thrown at him.

First of all, he found his girlfriend curled up on the couch in a state of drunkenness that he hadn’t seen her in in many months. Immediately he thought something had happened, she had a PTSD episode or someone made threats. In an instant he was by her side, her thin shoulders in his hands to get her to look at him.

“Who is she?” Lav slurred, eyes red from crying. Every worst case scenario had gone through her head. Was he cheating on her? Did he have some other life that she had no clue about and he was keeping it from her? How could this girl that she knew nothing about cause her so much grief?

Sweet Pea’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Who is who?” He asked, having no inkling of what in the world she was talking about. “Why did you drink so much?”

“Lily Owens.” Lav spat hotly, “Who is she?!” Her voice began to raise with notes of hysteria. She was so worked up and heartbroken and she had no idea why.

His blood ran cold as he stared at her. He had hoped that he could have approached the subject of his ex eventually, when the time was right. But Lavender was so god damn sensitive that he didn’t think that time would ever come. The insecurity she felt after the attack by the Ghoulies was so great that sometimes he felt trapped in that even talking to a girl she didn’t know had her upset.

They had a long talk about it once and she agreed to get it handled in therapy. And she did get better but there were times when he knew she just couldn’t help it. They had broken her so thoroughly that it was going to take time. He sighed softly, trying not to show how aggravated he was. “She’s my ex, Shanna. I was going to wait to tell you this but...She’s coming back to town in a few days and she needs a place to stay...with our daughter.”

“Your what?” Lav asked, somehow finding the fact that he had a child with another woman was way worse than him cheating on her. “You had a kid and never thought to tell me?!” Fresh tears came to her eyes and quickly fell down her face that was flushed pink from inebriation. “Don’t you think that was something I’d need to know?”

He flinched, feeling the hurt roll off of her in waves. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d overreact!”

“Overreact?!” She yelled, her voice finally raising. “Are you fucking kidding me?! You kept a whole ass family secret from me, Sweet Pea! Get out. Just get OUT.”

His eyes narrowed as he stood, releasing his grip from her. “You always do this! You always fly off of the goddamn handle over every little thing. So I have a daughter, so what? I’ve never even met her! Lily ran off pregnant and had her without me there, so yeah I don’t bring it up because I’d rather not think about being a dad at sixteen! You’re not the only fucked up person in this relationship!”

She stared at him with stunned silence and he knew he had gone too far, as he always did. Sweet Pea just huffed angrily before turning and leaving in a manner exactly as she had from the Jones trailer earlier that day.

The next two days, Lavender spoke to no one. Not Jughead, Not Fangs, and especially not Sweet Pea. He hadn’t even bothered to text or to call as she was always the one to give in first. Still, the fact that he wasn’t even trying to patch things up between them only served to hurt her more.

Fangs had left her small apologetic presents at her doorstep. Flowers, snack cakes, chocolate, even a bottle of her favorite rum. While she accepted the gifts, she still refused to speak to him. His messages were all left on read.

Jughead and Toni had both sent only one apology text, while both seemed pretty heartfelt, they were also denied any kind of answer from her. It was only after an hour and a half long intense therapy session did she decide to try and make up with all of them. Her therapist had helped her realize that Sweet Pea was put in a difficult position from the start of their relationship with her trauma and intense insecurity. In the end, she concluded that he wasn’t purposefully trying to hurt her. He was trying to save her. It just ended up blowing up in his face.

She had picked up a carton of Marlboros for him and was walking up to his trailer. She didn’t notice whether or not his bike was on the side of the house, and dismissed the beaten up car parked on the street as a neighbor’s. It could have easily been someone else’s. Or maybe his dad was finally out of rehab?

Knowing that he was possibly still upset with her, she chose not to use her key to walk in. Instead she knocked on the door in her usual fashion and waited, cigarettes in hand. What she didn’t expect (but totally should have) was for a teenage girl to open the door.

She was shorter than Lav by about an inch, brunette, and absolutely stunning. Lavender's heart fell into her stomach. “O-Oh,” She stuttered, “I thought-”

“He’s not home.” The girl said in a somewhat flat tone. She had learned all about the person in front of her from Jughead. He filled her in on all of Sweet Pea’s doings while she was gone. “But you can come in and wait for him. He’ll be back in a few minutes.”

The door opened wider and Lavender looked inside, noticing that now the trailer was littered with baby clothes, toys, and assorted things necessary to take care of a child. The scene made it all too clear to Lavender that Lily, who she assumed opened the door, was now living with Sweet Pea. Suddenly she was breaking all over again and the progress she made in therapy was virtually gone.

“I should go.” Lavender mumbled, unsure of where she fell in this new hierarchy. “Can you just tell him that I came by? I need to talk to him.”

“You’re Lavender, right?” Lily asked and she nodded in response. “I’m Lily. I think we should talk. Come in, it’ll be easier than standing out here. Daisy is asleep so don’t worry about her.”

Lav did not at all feel comfortable talking to her, but the backfiring of a nearby car put her so on edge that she had no choice but to hide inside. She felt idiotic by being set off at a time like this. The intense need to hide somewhere where she felt safe overrode her discomfort with the situation at hand.

Lily seemed to have some knowledge of what was going through the other girl’s head. She noticed her jump and frantically check her surroundings at the loud sound. Jughead and mentioned her PTSD and that Lily should tread carefully for the time being. After knowing what happened with the Ghoulies, Lily ultimately felt pity for Lavender and not contempt...Though if she were completely honest, there was a little of that too.

It was clear to Lily that Lavender was very disoriented by the sudden amount of baby things around the living room, as well as an open suitcase that had all of Lily’s belongings in them.

The current girlfriend sat down on the chair that Sweet Pea fell asleep in way too often and sunk down into the cushions as if she were trying to disappear from sight. Lily took a seat on the couch, wondering if the awkwardness was going to go away any time soon.

“So you live here?” Lav finally asked, nearly flinching under the look Lily gave her. The question seemed much too obvious, of course she was living here. She had nowhere else to go.

“Yes.” Lily said, her voice a little more curt than she initially intended. “We needed a place to stay since my mom stayed in Toledo. Sweet Pea said it was okay. Is there a problem with that?”

“No! Not at all.” Lavender said quickly, wishing she had turned and ran when she had the chance. “Sweet Pea just didn’t tell me…”

Lily huffed, of course he didn’t. “We need to talk about that.” Of course, she still had residual feelings for the serpent. He was the father of her child. And the way he had ended things were so messed up. Plus he had said when she came back they could start all over. Obviously that wasn’t going to happen now.

“I get that you’re his girlfriend now. I mean, I never expected him to pick a Northsider over…” She stopped, seeing the hurt expression on Lavender’s face brought on a wave of guilt. “You really had no idea about me, did you?”

“No…” Lav said, her voice so soft that Lily almost didn’t hear it. “We never talked about past relationships. Look, I really need to go. Can you just give these to him for me?” She asked, motioning towards the carton of cigarettes in her lap.

“When did you start dating?” She asked, her tone serious.

“Three months ago but we hooked up the July before that….” Lav admitted, not wanting to withhold anything.

“July?” Lily asked and Lav sensed the anger in her voice. “I knew he was cheating on me. I knew it.” She hissed under her breath, not meaning for Lav to actually hear her.

Pain ripped through Lavender’s chest. He had still been in a relationship with Lily that night? She felt like she was going to throw up. She abruptly stood. “I-I’m sorry, I…” She didn’t know what she could say to make any of this better.

“I’m not blaming you.” Lily quickly said after a small sigh. “You didn’t know….How could you have known that I was about to give birth to his daughter? Of course he’s so fucking selfish he didn’t even say anything about it to either of us.”

Lav was holding back tears to the best of her ability. The thought of being the other woman, even for just one night, made her want to lock herself up and drink herself into oblivion. Really she only stayed away from the unhealthy coping mechanism when Sweet Pea was around. Right now, it didn’t seem as if he’d have time to be around for very long. He had a baby to take care of.

“I’m sorry,” She apologized again, really just having no idea how to handle this situation. She backed towards the door, reaching for the handle when it swung open. Sweet Pea was there, looking as tired as ever. A confused look crossed his face when he saw the tears threatening to fall from Lavender’s eyes.

“Shanna?” He asked, not knowing what Lily had done to make her upset...if she had done anything. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to apologize but.” She was too upset to be angry at anyone other than herself. “I need to go home. I got you some cigarettes...here.” She shoved them into his hands before nimbly squeezing past him and running off.

Sweet Pea looked down at the carton before looking up at Lily. “What did you do ?” He asked, his voice threatening to raise.

“You slept with her before you broke up with me.” Lily said, her voice low but angry. “You didn’t end things until August. You said, you said we could start over if I came back, Sweet Pea. You promised me that we would try for Daisy.”

He felt utterly lost. He had loved Lily so much but her leaving had him feeling so alone that he needed something . His dad had started his first stint in rehab and had been in and out since. He was so completely alone with no one to hold at night. Initially he had felt terrible about it but the guilt went away because in the end she had left him when she said she never would.

“You left, Lily. What did you expect?” He asked, his voice icy. “You abandoned me like everyone else did. How did you think I could continue to love you after that?” Her hand reared back and slapped him hard across the face, the sound bouncing off the walls of the trailer. And deep down he knew that he deserved nothing less.

Lavender returned to her trailer, attempting to put herself back together. She had truly wanted to work things out with Sweet Pea and didn’t have the strength to curse him to hell when she saw him. And the look on his face when he saw her. Past his confusion was definite regret. The softness of his eyes made her want nothing more than to be held by him. She wasn’t sure if that was ever going to happen now.

She eyed the bottle of rum on her kitchen counter and she knew that she should resist it’s calls. Did she really want to wake up with a hangover tomorrow? It seemed better than feeling heartbroken at his point.

As she reached for it, she heard a knock on her door. Lav let out a sigh of relief to have been stopped before she drowned herself yet again. She went to the door to see her boyfriend standing there, looking equal parts pissed off and broken down. His left cheek was bright red and starting to bruise and she knew that Lily must have hit him.

She said nothing as she opened the door for him and he walked in, hands clenched into fists. He was clearly agitated but not at her. That was evident enough in him not screaming at her when she opened the door. He saw the bottle of alcohol sitting out in the open and made a straight line to it.

Lav felt as if she were about to cry again, this time for him. Because like her, Sweet Pea also had a habit of hitting the bottle when he felt like the lowest of the low. Of course, she was still very much heart broken by his actions before but seeing him in pain was a whole new kind of ache. It was one that she found herself hating more.

“Wait,” She called out just as he grabbed the bottle by the neck. “Pea, can we talk first? I promise not to yell at you…” Her voice showed her weakness, but she didn’t really mind since he was the one hearing it.

Sweet Pea let out a tired sigh and nodded. He carried the bottle to the couch and sat down with a heavy thud, keeping the rum in hand as if in case of emergency. Lav gently sat down next to him, turned sideways on the seat to face him fully. “Can you just...explain to me what’s going on?”

“I fucked up.” Sweet Pea said, scowling at himself, “again.”

She knew his biggest fear right now was her leaving him. While she thought she had abandonment issues, his own were far worse. “Just tell me what happened.” She said, her voice gentle to show that her being upset wasn’t as important as what was going on with him currently.

“I loved her, you know? I didn’t mean for her to get pregnant.” Sweet Pea said, his voice extremely quiet. He very rarely opened up like this. And him doing it sober was a first. “Then she left. She left like everyone else leaves. And you’re probably going to leave too because I always mess everything up. I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend or baby daddy or whatever. I’m just a teenager. I just don’t know.”

Lav put a hand on his leg, moving closer to him as a few stray tears escaped her eyes. “I’m not leaving you. I just want to know everything. That’s it. I’m sorry I blew up on you the other day. I should have let you have a chance to explain. It seems that I don’t know how to be a good girlfriend either…”

He let out another sigh as he set the bottle down on the table in front of him and pulled her into his arms. He hated for anyone to see him like this, but he hated being alone even more.

He buried his face into her blonde roots and just breathed in the scent of her vanilla shampoo. Lav nuzzled her face into his chest, listening to him breathe. "I told her I'd try, Shanna. Before you. Before everything. I promised her."

Lavender squeezed her eyes shut, having no idea why she was going to say what she was about to. "If you have to," she couldn't even say it. "I understand, Sweet Pea. It's okay. I'll be okay."

That wasn't what he wanted to hear, but he appreciated her willingness all the same. "Can I stay here tonight? One last time?"

She couldn't stop the silent tears from coming and in truth she didn't want to. "Of course, Pea. One last time."

The next morning, Lavender awoke to find herself alone in her bed. The spot where Sweet Pea had slept the night before was still warm. She sighed softly, not having the emotional energy to even cry over the loss of their intimate relationship. Could they even function as friends? They weren’t friends before they started dating, so how could she expect them to be after? She had no idea what she was going to do without him by her side almost every night. Perhaps it was time to talk to Fangs again.

She called him over after attempting to shower the sadness off of her. She put on clean underwear and lounge-wear as she waited for him to come over. Fangs came crashing through the door like a puppy who had missed his owner, grinning at her and quickly making his way to the couch.

He stopped grinning when he saw the forlorn expression on her face. “What’s wrong, babe?” He asked, taking her hands into his.

“We broke up last night.” She muttered. “Because he...he promised Lily before we were together that they could start over when she returned.”

Fangs was frowning. While he loved both Lily and Sweet Pea, he had long since come to the conclusion that they were much better as friends and not as lovers. But, he also knew that Sweet Pea intended to keep any promise he had made if he could. And though he could tell his friend was visibly upset, he was surprised to not find her crying and drinking. Despite it being only ten AM.

“I wish I had told you, Lavie.” He said in a quiet voice, pulling her into his chest to try and soothe the heart he knew to be aching in her chest. “I’m so sorry. You deserved to know. I just thought...you were doing so well…”

“It’s okay, Fangs.” She mumbled, her voice muffled by his t-shirt. “You had made a promise too. I just...I just don’t know where to go from here. I mean, I thought that I might...you know…”

He pulled her away, looking over her flushing face. “That you might love him?”

She groaned, “please don’t say it out loud. It sounds so stupid.”

“No, it doesn’t.” He bit back, almost angrily. “It’s not stupid at all. Come on, let’s go to the quarry. It’s finally warm enough to swim!”

Lavender froze. She had many plaguing thoughts about wearing a bathing suit in front of others. While all her wounds had healed perfectly well, she still had long, thick bands of scar tissue across her thighs and stomach, with a few smaller ones on her chest. Sweet Pea was so far the only one she had let see them since she was able to shower alone and clothe herself. The thought of anyone else possibly seeing them made her sick to her stomach.

“I don’t feel like getting wet, I just took a shower.” She lied, hoping he wouldn’t call her on it. Unfortunately today was not a day that Fangs was feeling particularly intuitive.

He cocked his head to the side, “but you love to swim. It’ll cheer you up!”

“I don’t have a bathing suit that fits.” She lied again, hoping that maybe he’d either catch the hint or drop it. “My boobs got bigger over the winter and mine are all too small now.”

His eyes looked at her chest as if to examine it. If it were anyone else, she’d be offended, however it was him so she knew it was not meant to be explicitly lewd. “They look about the same to me. You can always wear a bra or something instead.”

Lavender wanted to hit him upside the head for being so dense. She knew he wasn't purposefully being obtuse but it was still grating her nerves. “Fangs. I don’t want to go swimming.” Her voice was a little more firm now in an attempt to get through to him.

A puppy-dog look crossed his face as he pouted at her. “But...Lavie...it’ll be fun…You can wear some of my trunks if you want?”

She let out a sigh of defeat, “alright. Bring me some with a drawstring so I can tie them tight otherwise they’ll just fall right off.” His pout was replaced with a broad smile as he all but cheered with success.

Fangs left but was back five minutes later with a pair of black swim trunks for her. He happily handed them over as she went into her room to change. She put on a purple bikini, which still fit perfectly fine, before putting on his pants. She then put on an old form-fitting T-shirt that kept all of her scar tissue covered.

As she looked herself over in the mirror, she frowned. She looked utterly ridiculous but it was better than exposing the truth. She didn’t want anyone to be reminded of that day back in early January.

She finally came out of the bedroom to see Fangs packing a bag of snacks and a cooler of beer for them. “Jones and Topaz are meeting us there. I hope that’s okay.” He said, his back turned to her.

“That’s fine…” Lav mumbled awkwardly. She had already forgiven them as well, and hoped that they’d help her forget about her ruined love life.

They made it to the quarry, the sun shining high above them. Toni and Jughead were on the small beach, clad in their swim gear already. They both gave Lavender strange looks at her attire. “My, uh...bikini doesn’t fit anymore.” She said, but the only one to catch the lie this time was Toni who gave her a worried look.

“Lily will be here in a few with Daisy.” Jughead said as he typed a message onto his phone. A panicked look crossed Lavender’s face.

“Jughead...why would you do that?” She asked as Toni elbowed him in the ribs. He looked up, appearing like a deer in headlights. It hadn’t really occurred to him how awkward it might be for her. Really he just wanted to hang out with her, having missed her all these months. It had almost been a full year since he’d seen her last.

Toni sighed, obviously aggravated by his lack of thought. “Lily is cool, Lavie. Don’t worry about her.”

Lavender tried not to think about their only interaction. Lily had called her a Northsider, reminiscent of Sweet Pea back before they were dating. It was an insult that she hated. She couldn’t help that she had grown up mostly on the Northside or that she didn’t dress like a typical Serpent. She enjoyed soft colors a bit too much and flannel looked terrible on her.

“Okay.” Lav forced herself to say as she plucked a can of beer out of the cooler Fangs had brought. “I guess meeting Sweet Pea’s daughter would be kind of cool.”

“That’s the spirit!” Fangs said cheerfully as he stripped off his shirt. “Let’s go!”

He attempted to pull her into the water. “Fangs! I’m trying to drink, I’ll join you in a minute!” She pleaded with him, trying her best not to spill any PBR in the process.

“Oh fine, you have five minutes so you better chug it or I’m throwing you in.” He let her go, shaking his head before him and Toni raced to the water.

Jughead was quiet. “You broke up with him.” He said, his voice low so that the others wouldn’t hear. “So he could be with Lily….”

“Yea.” Lav replied as she took a gulp from the can.

"I know why you're wearing that ridiculous get-up, Lavie." He mumbled to her. "You don't have to hide it from us. I'm sure they're barely noticeable."

She frowned, refusing to look at him. "I didn't want to come at all. This was a compromise with Fangs. He was too dumb to figure it out."

Jughead grabbed a beer for himself and sat down, motioning her to join him. She sat down next to him on the makeshift log bench. "Figures. At least his heart is in the right place."

They watched Toni and Fangs splash one another. "How are you holding up, really?" He finally asked.

She opened her mouth to answer when she saw Sweet Pea, Lily, and Daisy approaching, she quickly shut it. "Don't worry about it." She said, throwing her head back to finish off the beer in her hand.

Jughead frowned, wanting her to open up but also knowing that she wouldn't now. Who knows if she ever would. He knew that the progress she had made was about to backslide thanks to her and Sweet Pea no longer being together. Despite the rocky beginning, they truly were good for one another.

He wanted to say something encouraging, but failed at the sight of Lily. This did not go unnoticed by Lavender who was sure to bring it up later.

Sweet Pea wouldn’t look at her. He was carrying Daisy, who at nine months looked exactly like him. Lavender wasn’t sure how long she’d be able to stand the sight. Her chest was so heavy that she was worried that she’d sink when she got into the water. If she got into the water.

Lily gave her a strange look. “Are those Fangs’?” She asked, nodding her head towards the trunks Lav was wearing. It wasn’t mean spirited, rather just honest curiosity.

“Yea. My bikini is too small so I asked to borrow his shorts.” Lavender said, her tone even and not bearing any ill will. The atmosphere surrounding them was completely uncomfortable and Lav had no idea what to say.

“Jug, can I talk to her alone for a minute?” Lily asked, her voice gentle and there was a small smile on  her face. Jughead nodded and stood, patting Lav on the back briefly before walking closer to the shoreline.

Sweet Pea glanced at the two of them, wanting to listen to whatever Lily had to say but also knowing she’d probably yell at him if he did. He begrudgingly moved towards the water with his very excited little girl.

Lily waited until both boys were out of earshot. She turned and looked at Lavender who was toeing the dirt with the tip of her shoe. “Thank you.” Lily said, her voice genuine. “You didn’t have to break up with him.”

Lavender couldn’t help the hurt sigh that left her, “Yes I did. He made a promise and I wanted him to keep it.”

“I mean, you didn’t have to because I’m not taking him back.” Lily said. She wasn't hostile but there was anger hidden somewhere in her tone. Lavender mistook it to be directed towards her when it was truthfully towards Sweet Pea. “He cheated on me. And to be honest, I can’t be sure that he won’t do it again.”

“You left him.” Lavender said back, jumping to his defense. “What did you expect?”

Lily’s gaze hardened. “I expected some common decency from the man who told me he loved me. What I didn’t expect is for him to stick his dick in someone else just because things between us got hard. All he had to do was talk to me. He could have broken it off first before pursuing other people.”

Lavender was sitting rigidly on the log, daring to look up at Lily. Her hazel eyes encapturing a mixture of rage and pain. But Lily wasn’t done. “I’m sorry for what the Ghoulies did to you, I am. But he can’t fix you. And it’s not fair to put that responsibility on him either. He needs to be a father to Daisy right now. That’s what’s important.”

She was speechless, unable to come up with anything to say in return. While Lily had a valid point, it hurt tremendously to hear it. Lavender stood and Lily backed up to give her space. “This was a mistake.” She said, obviously talking about coming to the quarry. She took a few steps before stopping and turning back towards Lily. “And for the record. You don’t know a single thing about me. So maybe you should stop assuming the type of relationship I had with Sweet Pea. That’s between us. Not you.”

She turned back, grabbing Fang’s keys from his pile of things and leaving. The only one to notice her departure was Sweet Pea, who failed to mask the pained expression on his face at the sight of her go.

-----------

Tag List: @the-gargoyle-queen​, @alexa-playafricabytoto​ If you want to continue to be tagged in the sequel, just let me know!

Enjoy my work? Like, Reblog, Follow, or Leave a Tip!