#okay time for bed which means i accomplished very little this evening lol

[danieyells]

I can also see Romeo straight up setting a glory hole, tying your knees to your chest and shoving your ass in a hole. Basically renting the mc by the 15 minutes and bc he hates the mess and it would be annoying to send someone to clean every few hours so he is strict about condoms, tho if someone paid a few hundred dollars he might look the other way

Re: Sold by Sinostra(Frostheim edition) mini headcanons because i guess i have to give these a name i can remember

Oooh absolutely. Just shove them in a box so he doesn't have to look at them crying and being a disgusting hole, plus less mess! Although as far as cleaning goes i imagine a lot of it is just like. One of his goons comes in with a hose and sprays them down. Or there's some sort of anomaly that he sends in that cleans all the mess up, like an akaname. But I think 'if you don't want to use a condom you'd better pay a lot more' would also be very in character, no matter what you're allowed to do to the pc. Mortkranken has medicine if you have problems.

And since @jadeleechsupportgroup and @dewstickynotes said who they wanted next. . .

Sinostra! As you can see I've got ADHD that's so bad that it took me damn near a month to do something as small as this, so please do not stay up all night waiting on it lol. maybe Hotarubi next since you both also said Haku.

romeo got two since he's the catalyst for this scenario--or maybe just because i had two distinct things in my head for him. i don't remember what my initial idea for taiga was which is bothering me.

As Romeo is the one selling you, the opportunities are plentiful. But if he likes you a lot, he'll treat you very well. You feel more like an oiran the way you're pampered and dressed and only sold to people Romeo doesn't think will treat you too crudely. Not to speak of the price he sells your body for--as if you're a luxury good, not an indebted whore! He dresses you himself, making you up to his standard with makeup and skin treatments. After you're bathed(whether by yourself or a trusted underling) you sit at his feet in the VIP room, bare naked, like a pet, until he's ready to tend to you. He complains about how much of his time you're taking up, but he seems to enjoy treating you like a doll. "See? This isn't so bad, right? You'll be able to pay me back in no time this way!" After an hour of sitting nude at his feet, Romeo finally acknowledges you, stroking your head. His underlings bring a selection of clothing he must have ordered them to retrieve, and he stands you up as he decides what to put you in. An expensive-looking box of make up is placed on the table, but he turns your head to face his mocking expression before you can see the branding. "It would certainly have been better if you'd only paid what you owed, but you've done a good job so far of making the money back. Of course, I'm pricing you at far more than you're worth--so how about you say 'from the bottom of my heart, thank you for making me worth something, Romeo' for me?"

On the other hand, Romeo could want you all for himself if he likes you in a different way. For you to be handled by the filth out there when you ought to be his. . .in the end he wouldn't be able to take it. Once your fate was sealed he would tell you he needs to gauge how much you're worth. He knows most of the auction room customers who're out to purchase other humans are out for sex--so he'll have to evaluate your body and your performance. "Do well, or you'll be here even longer." But this 'evaluation process' seems to take quite a while. He examined your body like you were a dog at a show, and you blew him and cockwarmed him while he worked, sitting idly by when he didn't want you to touch him. When his underlings frustrated him, he threw you down and used you until he wasn't so angry anymore. You knew he punched walls and slammed tables, but you somehow didn't expect the spankings or the rough pounding. Somehow you got scolded over the bruises he gave you. "I've made a decision." He announced after his workday seemed to be over and he'd finished counting the casino's profits. "I think you'd pay off your debt to me better personally. So you'll be my property, for me to do with as I see fit, until I've decided you've paid me back. I tell you what to do, and you say 'yes, sir' or 'yes, Fico'. Got it? No backtalk, no bitching, and no questions! . . .If we're alone, I'll even let you say 'yes, Romeo.'" He talks as he leads you through the halls and to a room--his bedroom, by the looks of it. He sits in a similarly fancy chair to the one in the VIP room, and gestures to his feet, where it seems you'll be sitting more often for a while, then lifts your chin with the tip of his shoe. "Why don't you you start with showing me how thankful you are that I'm not making you a common whore, used by the rodents outside? I think that's worth a little worship, don't you?"

You'd think Taiga wouldn't remember you well enough to get you out of this, but the way he coos "here, kitty, kitty" at you to beckon you to the bars of your cage to pet you says otherwise, as does the way he asks, more to Romeo than you, "what's my little kitty cat doing in a cage, huh?" But the cold and empty look in his eyes also tells you something important--he is hungry, and the tight grip on the back of your neck when you try and back away doesn't inspire much hope that he doesn't intend to use you to solve that. His underlings pay Romeo, and Taiga unlocks your cage himself before he parades you through the casino, despite your state of undress, to bring you all the way back to his room where his goons take their places guarding outside the door and you are shoved onto his bed and easily held down with a single hand against your chest. "You really wandered into some deep shit with your debt like that, huh! Lulu would've had you in there forever if I didn't come along and save ya! Y'know how literally you'd've been fucked if not for me?" He laughs, moving away from you to open the curtain to his torture room. "So, what should we play with today, little stray kitty? Then again, I'm gettin' pretty hungry. . . ." He takes up and admires a rather nasty looking knife. "But if I ate you right now, I wouldn't be getting my money's worth. . .you get what I mean? You weren't cheap, so you're gonna have to entertain me a little, kitten." He puts it away, retrieving his pistol and aiming it towards the ceiling. "I got an idea! How 'bout I be the cat today. . .and you be a little mouse. And all you gotta do is get off this ship before I catch you. . .I won't even have my mooks stop you from runnin' and hidin'. I'll give you a head start, too! Between that and how hungry I am, you can get out of here, right? Oh, but if I catch you. . .you cost a real pretty penny, like a real purebred kitten. . .so let's hope I can get as many meals outta you as you were worth." A click. A bang. Shattering glass and a pop and sparks before the room is shrouded in darkness. The doors slam open, Taiga's underlings bursting in in alarm at the gunshot. Your opportunity for freedom is marked only by Taiga's voice. "You've got 30 seconds."

"Vice Captain, this could easily be prosecuted as unlawful imprisonment under Article 220 of the Penal Code." Ritsu explains, gesturing towards you in your cage. "As far as this contract goes, the consent towards confinement has been retracted. I must advise that you return their clothing and allow them to leave the room." It's surprisingly easy to convince Romeo to yield under threat of law--although Ritsu only requires that you're released and ignores any other occupied cages in the room. As for your debt, Ritsu has already prepared a contract for you, allowing him to pay it off for you, subsequently making him your creditor. As you work with and are frequently paid by Ritsu, part of these paychecks will simply be withheld. . .it's a very thoroughly written contract, which you sign as it will keep you out of Romeo's 'private office'. An NDA is also procured for further discussion of this particular incident. "It would have been preferable if you had informed me of this debt of yours beforehand." Ritsu sighs in some disappointment, walking you back to his office. "For you to be burdened by such a debt reflects poorly on me as well, you know. So long as you and I continue our working relationship and you do well on your missions, I'm certain you'll be able to repay me in time. Now then, as for the fee for negotiations. . . ."

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

473 of 2023

What EXACTLY are you doing?:

This survey lol, and baking food in the oven. Chinese snacks and two pizza breads.

What’s the last funny thing you saw on tv?:

That old British sitcom Allo Allo. I just love it, never fails to make me laugh, it's great how they make fun of war times without actually offending anyone.

Have you ever felt so low, you thought you wouldn’t recover?:

Yup, I had one episode of severe depression in my life when I just stopped getting up from bed.

The last song you listened to was by?:

Kim Petras.

You’re more: sane or insane?:

Haha we're all a little insane.

Would the world be different without music?:

Very much so, and surely much worse.

Have you ever been to therapy/counseling?:

Only physiotherapy. I used to go to a psychologist as a teenager, but she wasn't good. She didn't even know there's such thing as dermatillomania, which I actually have.

Explain an out-of-body experience you’ve had:

I've never had any, but I almost died in the hospital following a brain haemorrhage, and it was like someone pulled a plug off, all went black and I just stopped existing.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

24, late to the party lol. I never cared much.

Have you ever eaten something while high, that is disgusting to you when you’re sober?:

I've never been high in my life.

Ever watched the sun rise?:

Many times. This is what happens when you have an early shift at work.

Some lyrics off the top of your head:

Every single year I'm drowning in my tears, I'm drowning in my tears again.

Out of all the people you know, who has the most over-protective father?:

No idea, I don't know much of my friends' parents.

What is something you and your significant other talk about regarding the future?:

Our taxes and savings.

Do you have any chronic illnesses or a mental diagnosis?:

Yup, I was diagnosed with epilepsy, and I have some brain damage from stroke, which resulted in hemiplegia, which later decreased to prachial monoparesis (brachial means arm). Now my arm is okay, but my fingers are not, and they most likely never be. This is why I'm considered disabled by the government. For mental things, I have anxiety.

Name any/all drugs you have ever used?:

Never used any illegal drugs, and I've never used medication for recreational purposes.

Do you blow dry your hair or let it dry naturally?:

It's short, so it dries before I even go to bed.

If you’ve had stitches, where on your body were they?:

On my head and on my knee.

Which of your five senses do you think is the best?:

Smell lol. I'm usually the first one to notice that something stinks.

Is there a song that describes how you felt yesterday? What?:

Probably ther is, but I can't think of any.

The last funny thing a friend said?:

Which one lol, there were so many funny things from many friends.

What was the last thing you did that made you feel accomplished?:

I opened a savings account.

What is the worst drug anyone has ever offered you?:

No one has offered me anything.

A childhood memory off the top of your head:

A laryngologist (?) visit, I've been having problems with my sinuses since I remember.

How many art classes have you had?:

Some maandatory ones in primary school.

Do you hate the way you feel, or feel the way you hate?:

No and no. Just I wish my cold was gone already.

What do you think of girls who say they don’t fart or poop?:

Evreyone farts and poops, so why make big fuss out of it.

Your zodiac sign and birthstone?:

Taurus and I couldn't care less.

What’s the worst thing about you when you’re angry?:

I'm just angry and that's it.

Ever smoked salvia?:

No, but my parents used to smoke funny things when they were young.

Who do you tell EVERYTHING to?:

My husband. I told him about my lost savings and he helped me make a budget plan.

Have you ever been to a rehab facility of any sort?:

No, I wasn't. No reason whatsoever.

Have you ever found something out you wish you hadn’t?:

Yeah, many times. I don't remember details, but yeah, it was distressing.

What is your best experience in life so far?:

There are so many that I can't choose just one.

What is “true love” anyway?:

Unconditional love. Platonic, romantic, alterous, whatever you feel. Loving parents and siblings. There are many kinds of love, not just romantic.

Your favorite shoes are?:

Black platform boots, kind of techwear. I love them.

Is there anything you plan on buying soon?:

Yeah, groceries in French and Polish shop. Gonna go to Sint-Niklaas again, this time I'm gonna have my bank card with me XD

The last family member you kissed/hugged was?:

My dad, in July.

Ever had surgery? What?:

Yeah, brain surgery and knee surgery. Knee surgery was minor and I was 19 then, brain surgery was a major emergency and I was 31.

Is makeup sex really all that great?:

No sex is great, period. Not for me.

Do you sleep with anything other than pillows, blankets, etc.?:

Yea, my husband. He's like a teddy bear XD and our older cat sleeps with us, she's cuddly as well.

[balkanradfem]

I'm in a mood to sew a shirt. I have these old bed sheets I got from a roommate, they were torn at one spot, but the rest of it is good, and it's a lot of great sewing fabric. I've never made a shirt from scratch before, so I'm very excited!

The 'property of no one' shirt is my favourite, most cozy shirt I own, so I want to make a replica of that. All the tools I have are thread, needle, and scissors. I wasn't going to measure or draw anything, so I just placed the shirt on the fabric and cut around it, it was okay if my new shirt is a little bigger.

I easily stitched the front piece and the back piece together, and was just about to comment on how 'suspiciously easy' this process is, when I sewed the sleeve in wrongly for 3 times. 3 times!!! I was laughing at myself the third time, because I almost had it right, and then, I sewed the thing inside-out. What we learned: the shirt needs to be inside out, but the sleeve on the correct side, then tucked inside the arm hole, so it’s inside the shirt, and then sewed in. It was a great piece of knowledge to gain.

This already looks like a shirt! I didn't even work on it for long, and it's already a wearable item! I'm normally too lazy to actually finish the raw edges, but this time, I would do it properly. And this is my favourite way for a shirt to finish, let's look at how it's done:

You cut out a strip of cloth that is twice as long as your shirt is wide, and then you sew the edges of it, so it forms a loop.

Then you flip half of the fabric up, so the fabric is doubled, and the seam is hidden. Then is the tricky part (tricky for me); you put your shirt inside out, and tuck the strip inside, so the raw edges are all together:

Then you just sew all the raw edges together and pull the shirt back to the correct side and there you go! This is where the massive feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment kicks in!

Also don't think I've been doing this on the floor, hurting my back. I've been on my bed half lying down lol. Hand sewing can be done in any position that feels comfortable. I've done the sleeves in the same way (the strips are different length but for real who is gonna notice?) and all I was left with was to finish the collar, which I also did in the exactly same way but it ended up looking off and weird:

I mean what is that? It's like there's either too much fabric, or it's supposed to be cut so that the part facing the neck is smaller than the outer part. So not really knowing how to fix it without re-doing it, I cut out little triangles out of the collar and sewed it so there was less fabric floating around, and it immediately looked a lot better:

I later went to check on youtube how other people did it, and they all did the exact same thing as I did before fixing it, only ironed it out and it looked perfect, which infuriated me because it's unfair to require an iron to make a shirt look normal, but also, they were all also using stretchy fabrics so maybe that was the trick. I do not feel wise about this, but will definitely look more into it the next time.

So this took maybe 5 hours of work but I couldn't be more satisfied, the shirt is incredibly warm, warmer than all my other cotton shirts, and it's so cozy I feel like I'm in a soft cloud and it doesn't feel tight or uncomfortable anywhere! I will not be buying shirts anytime soon, this is so satisfying to be able to do.

[shivvy-roy]

ok some assorted romangrace thoughts for @rckstrgrlfrnd

i feel like they got together bc they get along SO WELL. like just based on how they were roasting shiv at thanksgiving it seems like theyve never had a hard time making conversation or anything like they can just chat for hours on end

i genuinely don’t remember if the show says what grace does for work but i hc that she was like a PA at waystar studios when roman was out in cali and she like had to bring coffee to him and frank and roman made some snarky comment and instead of ignoring it like most of the workers did she sassed back and it caught his interest

i think they slept in the same bed but didn’t cuddle but would be like fairly close. like they both slept towards the middle of the bed

i bet they both have insanely good interior design taste and their apartment was SO BEAUTIFUL

considering grace has a daughter that roman is clearly comfortable enough around to like hug and talk to and that the family seems to know and has seen her before i would hc that by the pilot they’d been together for a while- maybe 2 years or so? and are very much in sync. like they know what the other is thinking most of the time.

i don’t think roman really has friends so i think grace was kinda his best friend? someone that roman could go to for serious stuff and really air his feelings to but also watch stupid tv with

actually now that im saying it i think they watched wipeout together and died laughing whenever someone fell or got horribly injured

i think they also had a “show” that they absolutely swore not to watch without the other and if the pilot is in 2018 and im going with theyve been together 2 years im gonna say their show was westworld since it started in 2016

i also think roman absolutely adores isla like if shes 7 or 8 or so in the pilot roman wouldve met her when she was 5/6 or so and so didnt have to deal w like potty training or any gross little kid stuff (bc i think hed hate that) but she has her own little personality at that point and i think hed be able to tone himself down enough to be okay around a kid. i think that he plays dolls with her and then the dolls end up dying in horrible ways but isla thinks its hilarious

i dont think isla sees him as a dad but definitely as a Trusted Adult- like he’s listed as a contact at her school in case she needs to be picked up

i hc that grace doesn’t come from money in the same way roman does but that she’s upper middle class- both parents worked but maybe her dad was a doctor so they had a decent amount of $. but obviously compared to the .01% roys shes SO much more down to earth and “real” and i think roman really really likes that about her

i also bet they liked to get wine drunk and bitch about people. i bet grace had some REALLY mean things to say about tom and roman thought it was fucking hilarious

somehow some nsfw thoughts came to me as well so im gonna put a read more here LOL

i think that they have the arrangement that tomshiv wanted but could never actually accomplish- like grace does go off and have sex with other men which keeps the pressure off roman to perform BUT they present as a united front. Roman & Grace.

with that said i do think that roman is sexually attracted to her in his own horrible little way. like he saw her in the shower or smth once and was aroused but didnt know wtf to do about it so just ignored it

i think they do have sex SOMETIMES but its like 3 times a year and even if he can’t quite get himself off always he’s figured out how to get her off. like i would see them using a vibrator or something?

[gwynrielendgame]

Smut

18+ smut. Tbh I guess I just write whatever the fuck I wanna write and that mainly includes chaos. Please read all the way to the end lol.

Feyre moaned as he licked her. He was always so good at this. He lifted his head up from its position, only to get an angry groan from Feyre.

“I was close!” She bunched up the sheets as she felt the euphoric feeling slipping away from her.

“I know.” He smirked at her for another second before getting back to work. He licked her like his life depended on it and she was glad of that. She felt it building up again, but tried to regain her emotions so that he would not stop again. An uncontrollable moan left her which had him lifting his head once again.

“Lucien!” She screamed at him. Only to receive a chuckle in return. Once the feeling died off again, he returned to his dutiful licking. This had been going on for more than thirty minutes and Feyre was seething at this point. If he did not let her finish, she was going to lose her mind. Some of his hair fell forward to tickle her thighs, adding to the wonderful sensations. She felt it building again. Higher, higher, higher.

“Lucien, I swear to god if you stop, I will kill you.”

He chuckled but did not stop what he was doing. Finally, she was coming. She moaned louder than she ever had before and was rewarded with a smack to the side of her ass. It was so intense that she wanted to pull away, but Lucien pulled her hips even further into his face. She thought he would stop once the feeling died down, but he kept going. He usually was not satisfied until she had come at least twice. The euphoria built up again. Feyre thought she would die from all the games Lucien was playing. She worried he would pull away, but all he did was smoothly flip their position. Feyre was now sitting on his face as he tightly gripped her ass. It took her a second to get comfortable in the new position, but once she was, she had to grip the headboard.

“Feyre,” he muttered against her. “Stop fucking hovering.”

The vibrations of his voice felt good down there, but she always worried he would not be able to breathe if she completely sat on him. Lucien moved his hands from her ass to her hips and shoved her hips down hard. He moaned into it which only made the situation hotter. Every flick of his tongue had her hips bucking. He was so good at this that Feyre thought she might cry from the intensity of it all. She started to lift her hips to give him time to breathe. Lucien grunted in disapproval.

“Feyre, I am going to suffocate on your pussy. And you are going to let me.”

The words should not have sent a thrill through her spine, but they did. Shoving her down on his face once again, Lucien went straight for the kill. He was licking right on the spot she loved. She screamed out Lucien’s name as she finished for the second time. Feyre did not think she could handle a third intense Lucien driven orgasm. Luckily for her, he pushed her down towards his cock. She was sinking onto him so quickly that even Lucien lost control for a second, shouting out her name.

It hit Feyre that maybe they should not be doing this. She suddenly felt nervous about how loud they were being and self-consciously looked at the door as Lucien continued to pump up inside her. He sat up while still inside her and roughly grasped her hair. He brought her ear to his mouth.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s gone for the afternoon and I locked the door.”

That should not have made Feyre even hotter but it did. She realized then that she liked the idea of potentially getting caught. Of course, she did not want to. There would be hell to pay if he found them like this, but there was a bit of a thrill to their secret rendezvous. All thoughts of him left her mind, when Lucien flipped them and started pounding her from above. He was hitting a spot that only he could ever seem to hit making her come for the third time.

“Oh my god.” Feyre muttered. She lifted her hips to meet his. Over and over again, he hit that same spot. She watched his face as she finished again. It was such a handsome face especially when it was as focused as it was now. A sheen of sweat covered his face as he finally concentrated on his own release. She could admit that she liked to watch his face as he finished. It was his most attractive face, but she was normally so distracted by his cock that she did not get to watch. She did not mean for the words to slip out, she would blame him for all the orgasms he was giving her.

“I love you.”

His pace did not falter. If anything, he went even harder, forcing another moan from her. He was close and she knew it. She continued to lift her hips to meet his and just as he was about to finish, the door started to open.

Feyre startled awake as Tamlin rushed into her room.

“Feyre, are you okay?” He rushed to her side to grab her face. The anxiety on his face fell away as he realized at the same time as her that it had only been a dream.

“I am fine. Just a nightmare.” He chest was heaving from the intensity of the dream. Feyre was startled by the contents of the dream. She had never thought of Lucien as anything more than a friend. Now though, that may be harder to accomplish.

“I heard you say Lucien’s name. Are you sure your okay?” His face was so concerned that Feyre felt guilty even though she shouldn’t. It’s not like she can control her dreams. She was glad it was still dark in the room though that way Tamlin could not see how flaming red her face was.

“Yeah he was in the nightmare. I am fine though. No need to worry.” As bad as it was, Feyre just wanted him to leave. She was too overwhelmed with the guilt from her dream and Tamlin being so worried about her.

“I will stay with you tonight.” He slipped into bed with her. She barely contained a groan. She could not very easily tell him to go away though, so she accepted it. She tried to fall back asleep, but every time she closed her eyes, Lucien was waiting for her with that wicked mouth and brilliant cock. Feyre was stiff in Tamlin’s arms until he fell asleep. She did not know what this meant, but she planned on ignoring it.

Safe to say, Feyre could not meet Lucien’s eye all breakfast without turning beet red and shamefully feeling a little hot and bothered. She did not think Tamlin noticed, but Lucien definitely did. Luckily for her, she managed to avoid both of them all day after that.

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 21: Huangshan

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Listen, I am giving myself whiplash with how much I keep wildly swinging between whether I prefer Liu or Lao LOL. Hope you guys are having just as much fun! I missed Liu. Lawd, did I miss him. Also I did not intend for it to take this long to get to the CHOICE. It's coming after the part with Liu and some plot stuff that has to happen to trigger it! Also, I miss Chen, so she'll be back after Huangshan. ALSO have you looked at pictures of this place?? SO PRETTY!! Much love, hope you are all well. <3 Thank you for the love as always. I appreciate you so much.

Next Update on Saturday. New story on Sunday!!

Part 20 Part 22 Chapter Index

Kung Lao was a bruised, bloodied, and pale mess the next morning and much of your spare moments were spent tending to wounds and trying to get him to sit for a damn minute. He fought you at every second, as if taking care of himself would somehow make it worse.

The morning dragged on, and you were grateful to check out and make your way to the roof. Kung Lao closed his eyes, praying, and lightning struck the roof for you to travel through. It was still weird and a little beyond belief, but you’d fought a monster last night, so you had to suspend your inner skeptic and go with the flow. You handed over the carefully wrapped bell which Raiden set behind him on a pedestal that had been added since you left.

He thanked you for your duty and you offered Kung Lao a hug and tried to convince him, again, to take care of himself. He insisted he was fine, of course, but also wished you good luck. You wasted no time. Raiden summoned his magic lightning again, offered you a neatly written note from Liu, and then you were alone.

The weather in Huangshan was gloomy, just the way you liked it. The sky was gray and rumbling with thunder, the slightest hint of sun peeking through to offer warmth between the gaps in the clouds. You unfolded the note as you walked along the tourist filled streets. He’d even started the note with niceties. Oh, Liu. He hoped you were well, he found you a place to stay and took some liberties that he hoped you were okay with. He also left you a time and place to meet him. It was the lobby of the hotel that he had booked for the occasion.

You were early and it felt nice to be alone. Your nerves were shot from the lack of sleep the night before and from Kung Lao’s… everything. A walk alone would do you some good. The small town halfway up the mountain was geared toward tourists. Hotels, boutiques, restaurants, and the like.

You’d missed China. Japan had been beautiful but this was home.

You stopped a man who looked confident in his way around town and asked him for directions to the hotel that Liu had written about. You bowed politely as he pointed you in the right direction. As you turned the corner, you heard a choir of angels in your head. Clothing stores. Real clothing stores. This was how you were going to blow the rest of your money.

You spent the rest of your alone time shopping and afterward you were proud to say you’d had enough clothing for an actual wardrobe. Different kinds of shoes, cute and practical, underthings, things to wear to bed, casual things, dressy things. Things you never would have allowed yourself to spend money on before. Money didn’t seem to matter as much as it had before all this. Then you’d bought a little bag to pack it all in and shoved it away. You’d got some other necessities too, things that had seemed everyday basics had become luxuries.

You’d changed after purchasing your clothing and jeans and a t-shirt had never felt so good. Even though you’d bought a bunch of new things you decided to keep the hanfu and gi that you had been gifted. You liked them well enough. It was the lack of choice that had bothered you.

The Huangshan Yeechoi hotel was more modern than the one in Japan had been and much tidier. You felt out of place, but no one gave you a second glance, so you were grateful. It wasn’t that it was fancy, just that it was different than you had expected. There had been no room number in the note Liu had left you, just instructions to meet him in the lobby.

Thankfully, Liu Kang came from the stairwell moments after you arrived. You’d been just about to ask the clerk behind the desk for his room number and so instead you dismissed the clerk and walked to join Liu. He’d gotten new clothes too! How nice. Not much different from what he usually wore but it was novel to see him in something other than the three gi that he rotated daily. It was mostly black, except for the red sash around the middle, a different shade of red than usual, and the sleeves looked like they had been torn off- as if he had been terribly angry that they existed. There was a subtle pattern stitched in white on the side of the gi. It looked to you like an abstract dragon, but you didn’t linger long on it. As always, his prayer beads were wrapped around his wrist.

He greeted you with a smile and stopped just before you with a respectful bow. “It’s good to see you, Y/N.” His smile faded quickly as he stood upright, and you averted your eyes immediately. Bruises. There were bruises and you knew he was going to hate it. You’d briefly forgotten about them with all the other craziness.

“Good to see you too, Liu!” You tried to save face, but it was too late.

“Japan must have been something.” He furrowed his brow with concern and tilted your chin up to get a better look at your neck. Your face was instantly red. “Are you okay?” That had been the worst of it, but you’d barely had time to think of it that morning because Kung Lao had been so much worse off than you were. You should have worn a scarf. Damnit. It looked bad when you thought about it. Like you were either being abused or had a very specific kink.

“It was an adventure but I’m fine. I promise. It’s obviously sore and bruised but I feel great otherwise.” You were tired, so that was an exaggeration, but it felt good to have accomplished something and to be out of the temple. He continued to examine the bruise as if he didn’t believe you, so you swiped his hand from your chin, gave it a squeeze and then set it down. His disbelief faded and his smile returned. Your nerves about your connection, your friendship, returned screaming into your brain.

“You brought a bag?” He gestured behind you. You realized that probably seemed funny since you had no intention of staying for too long.

“…yes.”

“Well, the woman at the front desk will make sure it gets to our room. We have plenty to do.” Liu rested his hand on the middle of your back and guided you to the front desk. You spoke to the clerk there. She was incredibly accommodating. Liu offered her your room information and you handed over the bag. Then you went on your way. He led you from the lobby of the hotel and walked slowly through the streets of the tourist town. “Tell me about Japan.”

Boy, there was a lot to say about Japan, but you figured he probably meant the artifact and how you’d fared.

“There was a monster which I didn’t think existed so, processing that.” You were surprised to hear Liu Kang laugh. You’d had a lot to process that had been otherwise beyond belief. “It was protecting a dotaku which I now know is a decorative bell used in rituals during ancient times. The monster was very grabby.” You gestured to your neck. At least it hadn’t left a bruise when it had backhanded you across the room. The last thing you needed was people looking at you like you were in an abusive relationship. At least the neck thing could be explained away for the most part.

“Tell me about the monster.”

“Monster is maybe not the right word for it uh… okay, never mind, it’s the only word for it. It was made from tar and stunk to high heaven, and it was huge.” You jumped so you could reach the height of the monster, which was higher than your jump, but Liu would get the point. He was an excellent listener.

“How did Kung Lao handle that?”

“Oh, you know, like Kung Lao does.”

“Chaotically?” Liu chuckled.

“I’ve never seen one man thrown through so many doors.” You drifted off and he laughed again. The sound of his laughter was sweet, not as hearty as Lao’s but more under his breath and twisting his face into the cutest smile. You’d made Kung Lao out of ink to protect you. That seemed important but you hadn’t processed it yet, really. Your brain was buffering.

“Really though, is he okay?”

“Much worse off than I was because of all the doors and walls but I took care of him the best he would allow. I’m hoping he’ll actually keep his promise to go to the infirmary.”

“Raiden will make sure he does.” Liu reassured you. “Trust me, this won’t be the first time he has to be dragged there. Or likely the last.” He stopped, looked you over and then continued, purposely avoiding eye contact. “Was he on his best behavior?”

“Is he so often in trouble that I should have been that worried?”

“Kung Lao doesn’t like to listen to directions, and he was with you and I know how he is so…” He glanced at you curiously again and you laughed in disbelief. Liu Kang was fishing for information! Interesting. Now that you knew they gossiped about you, you wondered what exactly the gossip consisted of. They were up to something, and you were going to get to the bottom of it. Maybe you had spent too much time with Kung Lao. Liu Kang had always been honest with you, you thought, and now you were suspicious of every word. “He has a track record for trouble, that’s all. I just wanted to make sure he didn’t give you a hard time.”

“If you have something to ask me, Liu, then you should just ask me instead of this little word dance you’re doing. Are you feeling me out for information and what about?”

“I say what I mean, Y/N.” Liu knit his brow in confusion but still smiled at you. You sighed because that didn’t seem right. Something was off. He could be frustrating too sometimes, you supposed. He had a way of saying things without saying what he meant to say and leaving you guessing at what he had meant. You’d had so many close calls between you now romantically. At least four that you could think of offhand that had nearly killed you. But then it was like nothing had happened. You didn’t talk about it. There was no follow through. If he said what he meant to say, then what did saying nothing mean?

That hurt.

And they’d gossiped about you. Kung Lao and Liu Kang had in some way gossiped about you. You clenched your jaw in frustration. You didn’t have time for this. You had work to do.

“We can talk about it later.” You decided. “Have you figured out anything about where we should go?” That had been the reason he’d gone early you’d been told but you had no idea what was true and what wasn’t anymore. Your head was mixed up and your brain was buzzing.

“Yes. One of the areas from your vision is called the Seas of Cloud. Raiden mentioned that you saw images of deceased emperors, so I was looking into that too.”

“It was in quick flashes. I didn’t understand what they were at first.”

“There are tales about this place and the yellow emperor after which it is named. He used the waters of the springs here to gain eternal life in these stories.”

“Is that your way of saying that you think the springs might be related?”

“Anything is possible, but I figured it was worth looking into. There were springs in your vision too if I recall.”

“Yeah. I saw a bunch of dead emperors and a spring, but it wasn’t… it was different than I expect the ones here to be? It was in a cavern. It felt secret.” You admired the gray sky but still felt tense all over. You had to breathe and let it go but the more you tried the more frustrated you became. “So, we’re narrowing it down to the springs and the Cloud Sea?”

“Yes. We aren’t too far from either of them but it’s still an endeavor to explore. Yet, it is less than the whole of Huangshan.”

“Probably somewhere between if I had to guess. I followed him in my vision through the mountains up to the clouds and into this cavern that had a spring inside it. Oh! Do they have maps of the mountain? Sometimes with places like this they will list caves on the little brochure to explore.”

“I thought of that. Regrettably, the caves are not mapped out and most are off limits without a tour guide.”

“What if we told them that we lived in a cave. Do you think that would help or cast aspersions?” You considered. There you were, trying to defer your frustration and inner struggle with sarcasm again. Liu chuckled.

“Probably the latter. We know what we’re looking for at least and it shouldn’t take terribly long to hike the area. If we don’t find it then we can start to worry.”

“I have a feeling that it’s secret. I don’t think it’s going to be easy to find. Maybe we should try to feel around for information instead of wandering blind?” You stopped walking, trying to take things more seriously. That was hard.

“I suppose that we can play tourist. We’ll stop at the springs and ask an attendant if they know anything about a secret or hidden spring in the caves.” Liu suggested. At least it was a better lie than fake date.

“Fine.” You said flatly and were annoyed with yourself almost immediately. This would be so much easier if your visions weren’t all over the place and fuzzy.

“You seem irritated.”

“Oh?” You bounced on your heels and shook it off. You were sulking. You had to cut it out. “No. I’m sorry, Liu. I didn’t mean to come off that way.”

“Are you sure, Y/N? Because you seem… annoyed and that’s not like you. If I’ve done something to offend you then we should discuss it.”

Oh no. He was good at confrontation. Damnit. “No, you didn’t do anything like that, Liu.” He had but not on purpose, you were sure. You were just touchy after the day before and overthinking. You had to stomp out that inner voice, but it was so loud. Your anxiety hadn’t been this bad since you were a kid. “I’m annoyed with myself. I’m sorry it’s coming out at you. It’s not intentional.”

“Y/N, you…”

“Don’t tell me not to be annoyed with myself, please. If I could navigate these visions in a way that made sense, then we wouldn’t be so lost on where to look and having to spin ridiculous tales and theories of where to go and what we might find. I could just lead us there and that would be that. And if my brain would just calm down, I wouldn’t be so annoyed. It’s a perpetual cycle.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself. Besides, I don’t mind spending a day or two in Huangshan with you, Y/N. It’s a nice change of pace from Raiden’s Temple.” He smiled sympathetically.

“It’s just like you to put a positive spin on everything.” You scoffed.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!”

“No!” You huffed defensively and then pouted. “I’m coming off grumpy, aren’t I?”

“You are.” He smiled, but amusement danced in his eyes. He thought that your frustration was either funny or cute. You supposed you were grateful for that.

“I don’t mean to. I’ve got a lot on my mind. I’m surprisingly sore from the whole monster thing too so there’s that.” You rubbed nervously at your neck.

“That is a pretty bad bruise, Y/N.” He tilted your chin up again and you grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

“I really should have worn a scarf so you wouldn’t keep pointing it out.”

He laughed and led you through town and along the path that went to the springs. Liu had picked the perfect location for you to begin your search. It was a short walk from your hotel. There were buses that offered transport, but it seemed such a short walk that it was likely for those who were elderly or drunk.

“This is a popular tourist spot. It was difficult to get a room. I don’t usually stay in places like that, but it was the only vacancy that would accommodate us both and be close enough to where we needed to look. I figured that we didn’t know how long it would take us so the luxury would be a nice break.”

“Makes sense.” Why was he trying to justify his selection to you? You liked the hotel. It was nice.

“Grumpy,” he whispered, leaning close on one foot with his hands clasped behind his back.

“I’m trying so hard, Liu.”

You reached the gate to the springs. You couldn’t see the water beyond it, but you could hear people within, and you could feel the steam and heat even from outside. There was a large building with two doors separated by male and female for changing. In front of that was a booth where a young man sat reading a magazine and looking extremely bored.

“Should I meet you inside? We can see if anyone knows anything?”

“Or we could try the attendant first.”

“Him? He’s a distracted kid who has no interest in our questions, Liu. Look at him.” You nodded discreetly toward the young man. He was likely in his early twenties and doing this just for a paycheck by the look of him.

“Yes, but you’re well… you.” He gestured to you, and you looked down at yourself, brow furrowed in confusion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You laughed in disbelief.

“You know what it means.” He turned his gaze away from you, hiding his smile but you saw his cheeks turn pink just enough. As quickly as you had noticed it, it had passed. “Now, go be charming and ask that kid about a private spring in a cavern closer to the Seas of Cloud.” He grasped your shoulders gently and turned you toward the booth then gave you a gentle nudge forward. You stuttered on your words and stared forward in complete awe. What the fuck?

Fine. You’d try but he was biased, at the very least. You weren’t built for this kind of thing. You’d always been awkward and terrible at flirting. Gah, you were blushing now too. This was the worst. Okay, deep breaths. You could do this. You didn’t have to be flirty or cute. You could just ask the question. Liu waited behind you, but you didn’t think he was far enough away to be as subtle as he thought he was being.

“Excuse me,” you began politely.

“Just you? Or your friend too?” The attendant didn’t bother looking up at you from the magazine that he was reading.

“I have a question for you, actually.”

“I’ll try to help if I can. Go ahead.” He closed his magazine and finally looked up at you, looked you over, and then was still clearly disinterested. He was working. You knew he would be!

“I heard some stories that there’s a spring in a cavern offsite. Further up the mountain and closer to the Seas of Cloud. I think that it’s considered private. Maybe even off-limits. I was curious if you knew anything about it.” You did your best to sound curious and charming, but you had no idea how it actually came off since you’d been so damn grumpy. The attendant looked from you and then peered around you to Liu. He closed his magazine, folded his hands, sighed heavily, and gave you a knowing look. Oh no, he’d immediately misinterpreted your intentions.

“Look, I’m going to be honest with you.”

That was a bad start.

“Oh, I think you maybe…”

“I’m just filling in for my sister today. I needed the extra cash, and she has a date this afternoon.”

You laughed nervously and looked back to Liu since that was where the attendant kept looking suspiciously. “I think that you misinterpreted my intentions. This doesn’t have anything to do with him. I just had heard a story and was curious. A private spring sounds really beautiful.” You were the world’s worst liar. You couldn’t even come up with an excuse other than you thought it might be pretty.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Do you not know then?” You were grumpy again. Damn.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t help you.”

You were flustered beyond recovery now. He had misinterpreted your desire to see a secret spring and the only thing you could think to do was stutter that he had done so. Then Liu was standing behind you, one hand on your back, the other on the counter.

“Is there a problem?” Liu sounded curious and offered a smile, but the attendant rolled his head back and groaned.

“I am not making enough money today to deal with this.”

Liu straightened his posture in surprise and looked to you for further explanation. At least you weren’t the only one flustered. That made you feel a bit better. You turned toward him and he placed his hand on your arm gently. That was probably not helping your case, but it felt nice. “I asked him about an off-limits spring closer to the Seas of Cloud and now he seems to have confused my desire to see this beautiful spring with something…” You stuttered in a frustrated whisper and couldn’t seem to find the word, the obvious word. Instead, you smooshed your hands together in front of you.

“Oh?” Liu tried to interpret your hand motion and then laughed in realization. “Oh. Intimate.”

“That’s it.” You pointed at him. “That’s the word.”

Liu let go of your arm and leaned against the counter with a sigh. “How much would it take for you to give us an answer?” You snapped your head back to Liu so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash.

“Look, dude, I don’t even work here usually and…”

Liu Kang placed some yuan on the counter and you stared at it in horror, mouth hanging open. Then you had to close your mouth tight to keep from bursting into hysterics. Your eyes were burning, trying not to cry with tears of laughter. Liu Kang was bribing a stranger to give you directions to a romantic hot spring instead of just explaining himself. Of all the possible outcomes you had expected this was the funniest one.

“Whoa, man… look I…” The attendant stared at the money on the counter and Liu tapped the bills before sliding them toward him. You were dying. This was where you died. RIP. Tears. You blinked them away. Your cheeks hurt from keeping it together. This was amazing. “If you take the main path up it branches about an hour in. Take the left fork and then walk for a bit. As you get close to the Seas of Cloud there’s a few caves. One of them has a spring in it but it’s hard to find with all the trees and not exactly safe. Gives me the creeps. That’s all I got.” He scooped up the bills. “Have fun man and if you get caught it wasn’t me who told you.”

“Thank you.” Liu bowed his head politely and then, hand on your back, led you away from the booth. You started up the hiking trail that had been pointed out to you and then you burst into hysterical laughter, practically hyperventilating from having held it in for so long. Liu pulled his hand back and stared at you with some concern as if he didn’t understand why this was hilarious.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He gently brushed his hand over your shoulder.

“What the hell was that?”

“Oh. I guess it was funny. He was going to think whatever he was going to think, Y/N. Sometimes we have to use other resources to get what we need.”

“Oh my god, does that mean you bribe people often? I didn’t expect this. I’m sorry. I wasn’t emotionally prepared for how funny that would be.”

“Only when they’re more convinced by money than words, Y/N.”

You took deep breaths to get yourself together and cleared your throat.

“How very Zen of you.”

“Come on, now.” He chuckled and placed his hand again at your back to lead you along the path that would start your hike. “We have private springs to find.”

“This day keeps getting weirder by the second.” You blinked away the remaining tears from your fit of laughter.

“Was it really that funny?”

“Liu. My stomach hurts from laughing.”

He shook his head with a smile as you continued on your way.

[springsteenicious]

Okay, since you said I can send you a prompt...

Maybe Jackie telling Hyde she's pregnant with their first kid? I always thought she would find a creative way to tell him if the baby was planned. I would love to see Hyde and Jackie giving the news to Red and Kitty too, it would surely be a very mood lifting fic.

I spent the last 10 minutes trying to come up with a prompt, and it was a relief. Because I spent the whole day scared, and trying to come up with a prompt for you was literally so relaxing that I even feel like I can breathe better now lol

That's it, thank you so much for this ❤

No problem, I love writing cute little one-shots and stuff! I'm glad to help out in any way I can. Covid sucks, so I'm more than happy to help you relax and get your mind off of it.

((Also, hypothetically, if you were to send me an ask with the title of one of my WIP fics, I would give you a little snippet if you wanted...))

Anyway, enjoy this cute little ficlet :D

Point Place, Wisconsin The Hyde Residence 1985

Jackie tied the end of the large banner above her and Steven's bed. It was the final part of her plan to reveal her news to Steven. She left their bedroom once she finished and went downstairs to their living room.

As she sat down on the couch, a feeling of complete happiness settled inside her. She was sitting in the house that she shared with Steven, in the living room she had designed, pictures of them on their wedding day hanging on the wall. It had taken a while, but she and Steven were happily married and had been for a little over four years.

After Steven married that stripper from Las Vegas, Jackie had thought all hope was lost for them. But he had spent months making it up to her and asking for forgiveness once Sam was gone. Jackie had stood her ground at first and she hadn't accepted any kind of apology from him. But he hadn't given up. He continued to prove to her how much he loved her, and eventually she couldn't deny her love for him.

Now, five years later, all was well. And it seemed like it would get even better.

Jackie hopped up from the couch as the door opened. Steven was home from work, finally. She met him at the door. "Hi, Puddin!"

"Hey, doll. How was your day?"

"It was great! And I bet I can make your day even better…" She took his hand and started to tug him upstairs.

He raised an eyebrow, but a smile was working its way onto his face. "Yeah? How?"

"It's in the bedroom."

"Uh-huh…"

Jackie stood with her back against their closed bedroom door. "It has something to do with that thing we've been talking about the past month… And trying to do…"

"Yeah…"

She grinned and opened the door, extending her arm to show off the room. It was filled with colored balloons that she'd blown up with a pump, and streamers hung from the ceiling, not obscuring the banner, which Steven read out loud.

"We're having a baby?" He grinned at her. "Really?"

"Yeah! I'm pregnant!"

He laughed happily and hugged her, lifting her off the ground a little. She wrapped her arms around him snugly. "I love you," he said into her hair.

"I love you too."

He put her down and pulled back just enough to look at her. He looked so incredibly happy that she giggled, unable to contain her own joy. "We're having a baby," he said, like it was too good to be true. "You know, before you, I never thought I would ever have kids. I never really thought about it. But I'm actually really looking forward to doing this whole parenting thing with you."

"I'm really excited too. I think we're gonna be great parents."

He kissed her quickly. "Yeah, I think we are."

~

"Steven, Jackie, you're here!" Mrs. Forman excitedly greeted them at the sliding door. Red was sitting at the kitchen table with Donna and Forman.

"Hey, Mrs. Forman," Hyde said. She hugged him, keeping it brief, which Hyde was grateful for. "We brought cookies. Jackie made them."

"You brought burnt cookies?" Forman asked.

"No," Jackie said. "Steven taught me how to make them and he made sure they came out of the oven in time."

"Really? I feel like Hyde would be more distracting for you," Forman said.

"Kitty, why did we have to have this dinner? I don't want to listen to Eric being rude to Jackie," Red complained.

Jackie grinned at Forman, who frowned. Mrs. Forman gave Red a look and said, "We are having a nice family dinner. It's still a family dinner even if Laurie couldn't make it. So be quiet and enjoy this quality time with our sons and daughters-in-law."

Red frowned. "Fine."

Mrs. Forman smiled. "Now, why don't we all go to the dining room and I'll get everyone's plates ready?"

Hyde sat next to Jackie on one side of the table, Forman and Donna across from them. Red and Mrs. Forman took the ends of the table. Mrs. Forman smiled as everyone started eating. "So, what's new with my favorite bunch of kids?"

"I got my first article published in a magazine," Donna said.

"That's great, Donna," Red said. "What was it on?"

"I interviewed a local band. It was really interesting to talk to them about their inspirations and everything." Donna was practically glowing with pride. Forman was looking at her like she was the only woman in the world.

"And Eric? What have you been doing?" Red asked, clearly expecting a much less accomplished answer.

"I applied for a student teacher position at the elementary school," Forman said.

"That's great!" Mrs. Forman exclaimed. "Oh, you are going to be such a good teacher, sweetie." She turned to Hyde and Jackie. "How about you two?"

"Well…" Hyde looked at Jackie.

She grinned and said, "I'm pregnant!"

Mrs. Forman laughed loudly. "That's wonderful! I'm going to be a grandma! Oh, oh, I should take up knitting again. I could make little baby blankets!"

"Congratulations, you two," Red said, with a small smile of approval.

Forman gasped. "You know what this means? This child is going to be the Antichrist."

"Shut up, dillhole," Hyde said.

"Eric, stop it," Mrs. Forman said. "Steven is a good boy and Jackie is a sweet young lady. They are going to have a wonderful child."

Hyde looked at Jackie, who was smiling softly. He believed Mrs. Forman's words completely; they would have a wonderful child.

[cheeriecherry]

I love your work so much!! I love how you handled the student x teacher request, given that I had some misgiving towards it, but I love how you write it!! May I request sum ,, Tamaki hc's? both nsfw and sfw?? The idea of him being a lowkey dom and confident behind closed doors is just 👌 I love you! Hope you have a good one today, and eat lots of delicious food!

Ofc!

Requests are temporarily closed while I catch up on them!

Warnings: nsfw below the cut, some like dom/sub mentions but it’s p tame bc im a vanilla bean lol

SFW

-Anxious bean. I relate to him lol

-He’s such a good boyfriend tho, ngl. He’s quiet and soft most of the time, and he’s really attentive to you and good at listening. He’s kind and sweet and treats you well and with respect.

-You’re one of the most important people in his life! You and Mirio! So it probably won’t be strange if you end up befriending the blond too, like, he’s just so easy to get along with and Tama would be so happy if his two favourite people were on good terms.

-Dates are usually pretty low key, going out for quiet lunches or to niche places that aren’t usually densely populated. Sometimes you guys will go to the mall to shop around, but that’s more rare. He prefers quieter and more intimate places, where he can talk to you and spend time with you.

-Once you guys move into the dorms, it becomes a little harder to go on actual dates, so you have to make the most of it. Study dates, video game dates, just hanging out in the same room and doing your own things dates, walks around the gardens, picnics under a tree on the weekends. Sometimes even training!

-You guys probably have sleepovers a lot, where you cuddle up in a mound of pillows and watch crappy movies. Bonus points if it’s a scary movie! Creepy stuff doesn’t really bother him, but the jumpscares always get him, even if they’re obvious. He has to hide his face in your shoulder for several minutes after one happens, which means it’s optimal for cuddling.

-Absolute cuddle bug. He’s kind of nervous about physical contact at first, but once you ease into it in small increments, it becomes really important to him. Catch him out there with his arm around your waist or your hands linked together, hugs and cheek kisses before class. Even on the weekends, he’ll come to your room and flop on your bed, looking at your with puppy eyes until you come over and lay beside him and let him hold you.

-He’s not huuuuge on graphic PDA, and wouldn’t do anything scandalous in public, but he likes having a hand on your or sitting closer than friends would. It might be subtle, but a little piece of him wants everyone to know that you’re taken, and that he’s proud to be seen with you, even if his gestures are small.

-He’s also really good at comfort. If you’ve had a bad day, or are just stressed about something, he’ll let you talk to him about it in detail, and he’ll really listen. Sometimes he’ll give you advice if you want it, sometimes he’ll offer to help you (if it’s something like schoolwork or you’re falling behind in training), other than that, he’ll let you know that he’s a safe place for you to come to and be heard.

-If you’ve also got some kind of anxiety, and aren’t able to do something, his own fears are suddenly less strong. Like, he understands what it’s like, and he wants you to be able to get what you need, so he’ll put up with his fears for your sake. Even if you both have to go home and lay down after and complain to each other about how much anxiety sucks.

-Once he’s comfy around you, he comes out of his shell big time. He’s still quiet, but at the same time he’s the friend who never shuts up once you get to know them. When it’s just the two of you, or you and Mirio, he’s always saying something about something, telling you about his day, asking about yours, wondering your opinions on things. It really shows how much he trusts you.

-Make sure you tell him you’re proud of him, and be genuine about it! Praise him for things he’s accomplished in spite of his anxiety, and tell him what you love about him. Hearing those things out loud from someone whose opinion he values really means a lot to him, and silently tells him that you see him and see how hard he works.

NSFW

-Like casual affection, sex if a thing you gotta work up to, and slowly. He’s super nervous at first, because he really has no idea what he’s doing and he’s too shy to look it up, but he really wants it to be good for you too.

-He knows like, the basics of how it works, he’s not completely clueless. He just doesn’t know the intricacies or tells of your body. You’ll have to be really verbal and honest with him about how he makes you feel. It’ll prove to him that he’s making you feel good, and also rile him up. 

-The first few times you guys sleep together, it’s kind of messy and he’s embarrassed as hell and neither of you last very long. There’s probably some awkward moments where one of you makes a weird sound and you both burst out in giggles, or one of you gets a cramp at the worst time.

-But you guys keep trying, because he really loves how close he feels to you during those moments, both physically and emotionally. Plus it’s just fun, y’know? It passes the time, it’s a good workout, and you guys get to learn even more about each other.

-It’s not for a while that you learn he’s got a more dominant streak sometimes. Most of the time it’s a pretty equal playing field, with both of you giving and taking and asking and demanding, but sometimes he’s had a rough day, or he’s just feeling particularly bold or lustful.

-He won’t order you around too much, but he’ll definitely make suggestions or what he’d like you to do, and imply that if you do it you’ll get a reward. As if doing as he says isn’t reward enough. He’ll definitely be more vocal during those times, saying filthy things to you and telling you how good you look on your knees/wrapped around him/etc.

-And he always makes sure to reward you when you do good.

-He’s not so big into negative or super painful punishments if you defy him. Like, he doesn’t want to leave you crying, even if that’s something you want, I just can’t see him wanting to genuinely hurt you that much. He still has a soft and tender heart.

-But say....he tells you not to come, or not to touch yourself, and you do it anyways, then he’ll turn your rewards into a punishment. Like oh, you want to come? Okay, he’ll give you as many orgasms as you want and then some, until you’re overstimulated and begging for him to stop. He won’t stop, unless you safeword him, or until he’s satisfied you’ve learned your lesson.

-He’s not opposed to light painful punishments though, like spanking you until your ass is sore and making you count each smack for him, or putting little heart shaped clamps on your nipples to make them super sensitive, or holding a vibrator against you while he curls his fingers inside you, only to pull it away at the last second and leave you hanging.

-Ngl it’s kind of hot when he gets confident, and having him control you a little bit makes you needy. For rewards? For punishments? Who knows, but he’s happy to dish them both out depending on how you behave.

-No matter what kind of sex you guys have though, aftercare is always important to him. Cleaning each other up, cozying up together in bed, sharing pillowtalk and soft touches and gentle smiles. He just really needs some kind of emotional intimacy to go along with the act, whether it’s during or after the fact. He wants to make sure you know that he loves you a lot (as if him treating you like an angel didn’t already show you).

[thefudge]

I know you like darklina more but what are your thoughts on malina ? I’m just asking bc I like hearing your thoughts and every ship seems 10x sexier after you talk about it and I love that esp bc as of this season malina is still pretty wholesome 😩. Any ideas for how you would’ve handled it/handle it in s2 ? Headcanons ? comments ? lol idk feel free to ignore tho if it’s not your cup of tea

“every ship seems 10x sexier after you talk about it” omg i feel so ACCOMPLISHED thank u!

as for the ships: so, the funny thing is, i don’t like one more than the other? i don’t like either? lol, okay, i like BOTH. but i don’t *love* them, you know what i mean? so, show!malina is definitely streets ahead of book!malina and i found myself enjoying them quite a bit (more on them later), but i can’t say i’m 100% convinced yet. same thing with darklina. i liked it fine in the books, and i like it fine on the show too, but it didn’t totally grab me. while i really liked alina initiating many of their interactions, i felt that the darkling didn’t...do much lol. i mean, they got ben barnes, so why not use him! and this isn’t to say he didn’t deliver, he was just given way less to do imo. i think there should’ve been more *ambiguous* scenes between him and alina, where the seduction and corruption felt a bit more layered. when baghra busts in to tell alina about the darkling’s manipulations i was like “but...did he even get to do that much manipulating??? there wasn’t any time!” cuz this all stems from the pacing issue that i’ve spoken about in other posts. alina’s time at the little palace should’ve been way more substantial. like, you blink and she’s already at the winter fete. so yeah, wish they’d done more with that.

ok but back to malina. i really enjoyed their banter, first of all, because it was such a breath of fresh air to frame them like the kind of friends who like to pull each other’s leg, who don’t take each other so seriously. book!malina always felt like such a drag because they didn’t actually seem to have fun together, whereas it’s far more believable when show!mal talks about going gambling in ketterdam and alina cheekily replies, “without me?” it just works way better. their bond was also very palpable and those childhood flashbacks were just so darn cute, without being manipulative. i felt so many things for little mal! 

the problem was, towards the end of the season i was kind of...underwhelmed, because it started to feel like mal’s sole function is to protect alina. in the first half of the show, he had his own friends, his own aspirations, his distinct personality. but once he reunites with alina and they’re on the “run”, it’s like...yeah, his whole life now will revolve around keeping her safe, which is what also bothered me in the book. 

however, i do love the quiet yearning they both feel but are too afraid to express physically, cuz that creates some great tension going forward. i really like that they didn’t include a first kiss or anything like that this season. i like the slowburn between them and i hope they don’t rush it. what i would’ve wanted was a bit more conflict after they reunited. i’d also like to see a bit of conflict between them in season 2 regarding her powers. and... i’d like a bit of trashiness where he’s almost afraid to be touched by her, because he doesn’t yet know what he is (spoiler for the books) or why he reacts to her so strongly. like, imagine them lying in bed fully-dressed, facing each other, and alina reaches out with her hand to touch his face and she barely skims his cheek before he draws away sharply because he feels this strange hunger and compulsion to pull her to him and he’s afraid of it, whereas she thinks he’s drawing away from her because he doesn’t want her that way, and u get that good draaaaamaaaa and tension.

anyway, that’s what i’d like to see! more thoughtful trash all around. and more darklina trash too (like, the darklina moments on the boat in ep 8 were closer to what i wanted, but it was too little too late)

[cartooness]

Mystery March Day 10: Mistake (Her Name?)

Alright my dudes: I know. Tis I, Cartooness, posting a ficlet of sorts. Which I never do lmao.

BUT!

I had ideas OWOWOWOWOWOW

Warning this portrays Mystery in a negative light so if that’s not ya jam, go ahead and skip.

**I START HERE, I’M USING THE READ MORE FOR A DIFFERENT TIME >:3**

SO @nemesis-is-my-middle-name and I were chatting and this is what came out of it XD

In my AU (that’s where my Lavender Grey character comes from lol), since I first made it I thought “omg what if Mystery was like. ‘Afraid’ or just weary of her because of how powerful she is” but now that The Future is out, I’m all “holy fucking shit what if Mystery is almost *jealous* of her because the gang doesn’t want him around her”. They say it’s for her sake (but it’s also for their sake) because they don’t want her to be scared.

He’s both [weary and jealous of Lavender], he’s all “okay. This girl comes LITERALLY out of nowhere and I’m glad they’re giving her a place to stay, she is a child. But this is a very powerful child, one that overwhelmingly outranks me in that field. Why aren’t they afraid of her? Why is it ME that they’re keeping her away from?” 

I guess he knows what he’s done in the past was shitty, but he doesn’t know why this random ass kid owns their heart now when he’s the one who was there first. Ya know, like an asshole.

I wanna say that he makes her cry because he just lets all the negativity loose and he’s caught mid rant by ARTHUR.

So. Mystery has basically been fending for himself for a little while, no big deal. Except he can't stop thinking about that damned girl. What has she done for them? How has she won them all over so easily? Only Lewis was the type to be soft for children, but Arthur? VIVI? Being parental figures? The world has gone mad.

He saw them time to time in that mansion of Lewis's, and they all looked so happy without him. Vivi hadn't seemed to be going on missions anymore, which was beyond shocking. Why not, that child is so powerful any threats would back off if they had a single brain cell.

Not to mention Shiromori was now on the girl's side; he spotted her occasionally checking up on her and putting small blooms in her hair, typically while she slept. It made the child look more innocent than she actually was in his eyes. He remembered when he was the one getting flower gifts and such when Shiromori was on his side. And with a protector like her, the child was practically untouchable.

Mystery flirted with the idea of that girl getting hurt and them coming back to him for help. But he didn't let himself ponder too long, that would be cruel. But he couldn't help but think about it.

What *would* happen if harm came her way?

Would they mourn her if such a fate could happen?

Would they come crying back to him?

Or would they blame him for a tragedy he didn't cause. They just *loved* to blame him.

...

He couldn't stop himself anymore. He trotted his way to that stupid little happy home and sniffed out what room belonged to the girl, the unmistakable scent of raw power and flowers filling the air. He peered into her window, in his dog form, and lo and behold she was there. He yanked the window open and sat on her bed, not caring about getting that sickeningly "cute" comforter dirty with his mud covered paws.

"Oh! It's you, Mystery. Can... I help you?" She was a bit puzzled as to what he needed her for, she thought he was fine being on his own.

Actually my dear, you can.

"Oh?-"

Get out of their lives. You don't deserve anything they've given you.

Her pupils shrunk, taken aback from his remark. "Did I do something wrong? I don't-"

Don't play stupid with me, girl. You are the reason I'm not allowed to be with them anymore, that I've been scorned to never return. You just barged your way into their lives, into MY life and took everything I've worked so hard for away. They're so worried about their 'little princess' that they don’t realize how damn DANGEROUS you are!

Don't they feel that power you possess? Aren't they afraid of you? 

She looked like he ripped her gut out, her eyes welling with tears, irises ever so slightly tinting blue with sadness.

Don't you DARE cry, he growled, you won't get a drop of pity out of me.

"Mystery”, she started, sniffling as she tried to speak, “please tell me-" 

I'M ALREADY TELLING YOU, YOU IDIOT! HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE? YOU RUINED EVERYTHING FOR ME AND YOU’RE ACTING LIKE YOU DESERVE THIS LOVING LITTLE FAMILY? WELL YOU DON'T. *I'M* THE ONE WHO PROTECTED THEM, *I'M* THE ONE WHO KEPT THEM OUT OF HARM'S WAY, THEN YOU SHOW UP AND RIP IT ALL AWAY!!

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS? WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE YOU'RE HARMLESS? NOBODY WITH POWERS LIKE YOURS STAY IDLE. WHERE DID YOU EVEN COME FROM?! I KNOW YOU'RE NOT HUMAN, SO DON'T TRY AND LIE TO ME. YOU THINK YOU'RE *SO* SPECIAL DON'T YOU?

She was sobbing now, eyes visibly baby blue and tears running down her face.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHUT UP WITH ALL THAT CRYING AND-

"Mystery if you don't leave right now I SWEAR I will chop every God forsaken tail of yours off."

Shit.

A-Arthur I-

"Why the fuck are you here? What made you think you were welcome?" His fatherly instinct had kicked in as soon he heard noise from his child’s room and ran over in an instant.

"Lav, baby, go to the bathroom” he started with a kiss to her nose, “so you can go wash your face. I have some business to finish", directing his gaze towards the intruder.

I'm here to open your eyes, Arthur. What has she accomplished while I was gone? What’s been going on with you... five? It seems her army grows every day.

"That is PATHETIC, Mystery."

What is? I'm just stating-

"I don't give a shit about your opinion, you broke into a child's room and you're YELLING AT HER because what, you're fucking....”

He pondered why Mystery was here spreading grief. They did tell him to piss off so that Lav wouldn’t be in danger, and honestly they didn’t need to be so stressed with him in the house all the time either. It’s not a good idea to welcome back a recently possessed kitsune into their home when they were all recovering from the trauma he inflicted. Old and new...

New... is he... 

“Are you,,, jealous of her?" he asked, tone on the verge of shock.

Good lord, this boy.

Arthur, I am here because I care and I worry about you, Lewis, and Vivi. And it concerns me that you've thrown all my help away for some MUTT that doesn't belong-

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Arthur shouted, trembling and trying not to scream so he wouldn’t scare Lav a few doors down. 

I will NOT, I'm not done yet-

"YES YOU FUCKING ARE.” 

The look of pain and anger was so clear on his face, and Mystery shut his mouth instantly.

"YOU *ARE* DONE BECAUSE YOU JUST RUINED THE VERY MINISCULE CHANCE WE WERE GOING TO GIVE YOU TO PROPERLY MEET HER. YOU’VE MADE ONE TOO MANY MISTAKES."

His voice was cracking, he wasn’t the type to do all... this. Just how much had this girl influenced them?

Arthur, please-

As if on cue, Lavender returned from the bathroom. "Mr. Arthur, am I in trouble?” She asked, big brown eyes looking up at him. “Mystery kept telling me that I did something wrong by being here and it didn't make sense to me."

"What exactly did he tell you, love?" he asked, eyebrows slightly softening just for her.

Oh FUCK. ((A/N: YEAH U DONE FUCKED UP YOU ASS))

She looked almost scared to answer; she was aware the kitsune could be merciless, and didn’t want to be attacked in the mansion Lewis had worked so hard on. Mystery was so angry at her and she didn’t understand why. 

"Well... he told me that I ruined his life because I guess I took his place or something. He said I'm dangerous because I'm more powerful than him, and.. he said mean things about me in general.”

Arthur’s metal hand flew up, ready to attack. 

“Mr. Arthur! W-what are you doing?-"

And Arthur hit Mystery as hard as he could.

There was an excruciating scream of pain, one that caused Lewis and Vivi to abandon the groceries they were bringing in to see all the commotion.

ARTHUR, YOU BASTARD! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!

"YOU MADE MY CHILD CRY BECAUSE YOU HAD YOUR PETTY FEELINGS HURT? FOR SOMETHING SHE NEVER DID? YOU HAD THE GOD DAMN *BALLS* TO BREAK IN, YELL INSULTS AT A KID, MAKE HER CRY, AND THINK THAT YOU WERE IN THE RIGHT?"

Lewis rushed over, trying to calm his boyfriend down. "Arthur, mi amor, what- MYSTERY?! How did HE get here?!”

S h i t.

Vivi felt her heart drop to her feet at the mention of her ‘dog’s’ name. "WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? I THOUGHT WE KICKED HIM OUT!" she exclaimed, her stomach filling with dread.

Lewis, Vivi, if you just let me EXPLAIN-

Arthur almost made a hole in the wall with the pound of his fist. "So this little FUCKER broke into Lav's room to yell at her because she lives with us and he wasn't invited. I come over to see who's in her room yelling at her, and she's crying uncontrollably while he keeps going at her, spewing a bunch of BULLSHIT, and he thinks he can explain himself and why he's in the right."

"....what?" said Lewis and Vivi, shocked by Mystery's audacity.

Lav started to cry again, thinking she would be punished for this, and Lewis quickly pulled her into his embrace. "Mi florecita preciosa, you did nothing wrong-"

REALLY LEWIS? Mystery growled, feeling patronized, especially as Lewis tightened his grip. SHE'S NOT A BABY-

"Shut your snout right now", snapped Vivi. "Get the fuck out of our house and you BETTER not come back. You have ONE chance to apologize to her and that's it."

Can I come back if I do?

"YOU DON'T DESERVE TO COME BACK" growled Arthur, his flesh hand placed gently on Lav's head and his metal one pointing at Mystery, Lewis glaring so hard it could kill.

Nobody was on his side, and the look on the girl’s face almost made him feel bad. 

Almost.

Very well then. I'll be on my way and hope that your ignorance won’t become your downfall.

"Hey Mystery, one more thing", Lewis started. "If you ever come back with bad intentions, we will kill you ourselves. I swear on anything and everything that you will not come here with a DROP of malice towards her. Do I make myself clear? And don’t you dare try and act smart, we are giving you a LOT of mercy when you don't deserve it."

...then I bid farewell. What is her name?

"My name is Lavender Grey."

Thank you. Goodbye, Miss Lavender Grey.

[painted-crow]

Submission Time #12

Another submission from me! I’d meant to put in answers from the quiz… or really, my perpetual arguments with the quiz. But then I got distracted by writing out my thoughts and forgot to do that.

Oof, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are just from this–you sent it in with anonymous on! Hopefully that’s okay.

I get different answers from the quiz at different times. Last time I took it in earnest, stoned out of my mind, I came up Snake/Snake. This time I intentionally hatstalled to get as many questions as I could.

If this is too many words on top of too many words… I am sorry.

I see that lol! I appreciate that there is no lack of information here 😉

However, this post as it came in was VERY long, even by my standards, and for the sake of readability I've done 2 things:

1) Switched to desktop long enough to put in a cut. It broke the blue color I usually put over my replies in order to make these easier to skim, but I'm not putting it back because it's kind of a huge pain to redo.

2) Trimmed out some of the question/answer pairs. You have plenty, so although I read them all, I just kept those I deemed most relevant. I also skipped a few where my responses would have been repetitive. Just an editing decision I hope you'll be okay with.

That said, let's get on with the Sorting.

Primaries

• If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?

I’m not sure that I have a community, but yeah, if my SOs think something is a bad idea, I’ll listen and consider. I’m more likely to be the person disagreeing with and trying to convince someone else, though. Also, sometimes it’s plain easier to go along with things to keep life smooth. But if it was something important… I think I’d have to go with what I think is right, regardless of disagreement. I’ll listen to others, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I won’t not do a thing JUST because of the disapproval of my family.

Suggests internal primary, Lion or Snake.

• What’s your top priority?

I kind of hate this one because I want to answer all three. I want to make the world a better place for the sake of me and mine, and that’s one of my goals. Not one I imagine I can accomplish, but it’s something that matters. My kid will probably see a pretty rough world in the future and I wish I could do something to alter that, beyond trying to be an ethical consumer as much as I can.

This answer feels very grounded and practical. I want to say it feels Liony, partly out of process of elimination but mostly because it just does.

• When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?

Idk, panic? No, not really. I seek advice if relevant, don’t if not, seek out any information I can, think about it… make a decision�� and proceed to worry about that decision for the next millenia because what if it wasn’t the right one? I usually go with my my gut choice but 1) sometimes I have to go hunting for that, and by sometimes I mean a lot, and 2) I still research the hell out of it.

The way you’ve answered this says more about your secondary than your primary, imo. You might be a Bird secondary.

• Do you listen to your intuition?

I’d like to, but I don’t trust it. I’m too afraid of everything.

Ooh, interesting. It’s worth noting, people who write to me are often Burned at least somewhat, because Burned Houses are always harder to sort; everyone reacts differently to trauma and comes up with different coping mechanisms. Wonder if you’re an at least somewhat Burned Lion who’s pivoted into Snake, perhaps because it fit with your old value set.

• Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said?

This one always bothers me. It’s not a thing that happens to me often, but I can’t understand not changing your mind in this situation. If someone points out that you’re wrong… well… you’d better go look into that, hadn’t you? Maybe because I’m constantly seeking to understand myself, and I don’t and that frustrates me, but… I don’t know. I agree with and disagree with all the answers.

This seems Bird at first glance, but it seems you’re too conflicted about it to be straight up unburned Bird (and Burned Birds are usually easier to spot because they tend to be wrapped up in the problem/s they’re struggling with). You might have a model or performance, too early to say.

That line about being frustrated that you don’t understand yourself is also a good hint toward an Idealist primary.

• Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less?

No, but I might think less of them, and I will probably argue my points at them in the future. Sometimes I change their mind, sometimes they change mine. I turned my SO into a social liberal, he caused me to adjust my stance on gun control. There’s always give and take.

Sounds healthy. That model’s sounding a bit more likely here. I’d be very curious if you turned out to be a burned Lion who actually had a healthy Bird model–that would be rare o.o

• What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?

This question makes me want to tear my hair out, because those are all different things.

If everyone I loved died, I would probably have a massive breakdown, spend a year laying in bed, and then use whatever money I inherited or insurance payouts I got to go try and live the life I’ve always vaguely wanted, traveling. I wouldn’t seek out relationships but I imagine I would, eventually, form new connections. It would hurt, but I would rebuild.

If they abandoned me, or betrayed me, which is… kind of the same, I guess, because abandoning me without cause is a betrayal… well, I would probably be confused, and angry, and curl into a ball and want to die, and then turn into a lifelong curmudgeon the likes of which I swore I’d never be. It would hurt, and I would probably be loathe to trust again.

This doesn’t feel Loyalist, at least.

• What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought was true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?

Another that trips me up. I doubt someone is ever going to convince me that punching down, bullying, or causing unwarranted harm is good. I don’t trust any authority without cause anyway, and I trust no authority to be right on every topic. I trust NASA about space but I’d be more interested in what the forestry service has to say about ecology, in a silly example. I’m not religious so I don’t have any authorities there. My parents were authorities once but it turns out they’re human and sometimes wrong, so…. I feel like I don’t know how to answer this question, because I can’t fathom what someone could tell or convince me of that would be that kind of a gut punch?

So, you don’t really have a system per se, but you do have a set of core ideals. You could call this a Bird model (and… a really healthy one if it is?) or you could call it partially unburned Lion.

• You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.

Nah, it would be nice to help everyone and I’m down to eat the rich and redistribute wealth and I firmly believe the point and purpose of society is to care for its populace, so definitely the world should be designed better to make sure everyone has a fair chance at what they want…but it’s not my responsibility to fix it for everybody, nor am I capable of it. I can do a small part, and I try to, but I’m not the savior of humanity.

I think we’ve established you’re not a Badger, although Badgers don’t always fall into this trap.

• You’ve changed your mind about an old belief or moral stricture that you used to value. You got new information and you’ve tried to update your way of thinking, and you think (hope?) you’re a better person for it. Do you feel guilty about the old belief you’ve abandoned?

Do I feel guilty for abandoning it? Not if I realized it was wrong! Do I feel guilty for having had the belief? Sometimes. I was raised in an unthinkingly classist household, and I still feel bad about my instinctive assumptions about people. I’ve worked on it a lot and unpacked a lot of shit, but I was definitely an ass and I regret that.

You have a lot of healthy Bird happening. I’m starting to wonder if your Lion is the model.

If you are a Bird primary, you’re one who builds your system much more than one who adopts it. You also seem very confident in your own perceptions, not unwilling to change but not impressionable.

When it comes to less major parts of your ideals, such as the gun control thing you adjusted your stance on, do you feel satisfied after puzzling things like that out? Or do you kind of hate that you need to?

• The next one is “If I’ve decided to stand by the people I love, it’s a choice. I could make a different decision.” Vs “At the end of the day, some things are right and some things are wrong. You don’t turn your back on the people you love.”

And my problem with that is… both. It is a choice, I could, theoretically, make a different one. But I don’t think it would be right to do so. I think that I would have to have an overwhelming reason to turn my back on my people. Someone cheating one me, or coming to hold beliefs antithetical to me (like if one of my SOs suddenly went TERFy or something), yeah, I would probably turn away, but it would hurt. But it’s still a choice I’ve made, either way.

I don’t think you’re a Snake.

• When you sit down and consider the terrifying lack of objective truth in our reality, how do you feel?

But what is truth? Does this mean truths about the universe, reality, physics, etc? I surely believe there is objective truth and structure there, though I doubt if humanity can discover it all. We are clever little apes, but its a big, weird universe.

Does it mean moral, philosophical truths? Moral relativism all the way babe! I mean, I’m an atheist, and I dont believe there’s one objective truth out there laid down by something supernatural, and I think it has to be something everybody comes to on their own as an accumulation of life experiences. I’ve got a few core things I think are important and the rest just… flows. I went with “the model in our heads is good enough,” because we’ve all got to settle for that in the end, I suppose.

It’s an interesting question and none of the answers quite fit for me. I think part of my trouble with the quiz is how abstract the questions are. “Do you like shortcuts?” Well, I dont know, quiz, what on earth is the CONTEXT? I understand why it’s written that way, but I do wish it was a bit more choose-your-own-adventure, handing me scenarios instead of philosophical abstraction.

You could be a Bird primary.

• When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

Research, and talking to my people, and then I think about it a bit. Or I just go with my gut and try to figure it out later. Either way I will spend a lot of time thinking about it, either trying to choose or trying to parse the choice I made.

Yeah, you might have to puzzle out which of these is the model yourself. This is a pretty subtle distinction. @wisteria-lodge and I both have posts about this. The appropriate tags on my blog are #ravenclaw primary and #gryffindor primary –if you can get Tumblr to function as intended (mobile search is very very flaky), those should get you the info you want, along with lots of accounts from other people Sorting themselves.

I’m starting to lean towards Bird for you, actually. But again, this is one pair that can be hard to tell apart, and sometimes it gets harder the closer you look at it. Maddening.

• Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning your back on your closest friend?

Another one where I want context. If we’re talking identical scenarios – say, they’re drowning – I’d save my friend over someone else, except for maybe a small child… maybe? Honestly I’d probably try to save both and end up dying. But I do prioritize and I’d help my friend over a stranger, sans specific extenuating circumstances on the part of said stranger.

Once again, I don’t think you’re a Snake. I think you’re a Lion with loyalty baked into your intuition, or a Bird who’s picked up some Snakey philosophy.

• After spending some time trying to decide between two options, you are convinced that A is the right thing to do. The people around you, though, are just as convinced that it’s B. How do you feel?

Like I haven’t explained well enough, because they’re not getting why my opinion is the best one. Seriously though, it would make me wonder if I missed something, and I’d probably spend more time talking and researching to compensate. On the other hand… context… am I choosing colleges here (yes, folks, give me your input!) or whether or not to get an abortion (where I would value the input of those directly connected to me, but in the end it’s 100% my choice and those who disagree can eff off.)

When you’re choosing a college, you’re making a tactical decision, not a moral one. Gathering information from others is a Bird secondary thing: you’re doing research.

When you’re making a moral decision, that’s where your primary is involved, and here your answer is strongly Lion.

[I’m skipping a few of the next questions because they don’t give strong information for you specifically. Mostly what they get at is, you’re not a Badger, especially not an unhealthy Badger.]

• Does your internal moral compass know something you don’t?

Well… maybe? I feed a lot of stuff into my brain, and I don’t always know what I think until the words have fallen out of my mouth.

I gotta say, I’m a Bird primary and this sounds terrifying to me. Sometimes I need to write about something before my opinion fully forms, but I write and think so much because I don’t trust myself to talk about it until I’ve poked the issue a bunch on my own.

The only exception is that there are a few people who will take me at my word if I say I haven’t made up my mind about an issue yet, and will listen to me debate it with myself, without judging me for not immediately agreeing with the stance they’ve already taken.

Not everyone is the same, of course, but this answer is a very Lion one.

• If you get a chance to make the world a better place, you have to pursue it– even at the expense of your happiness and personal relationships. Do you think this is a true statement?

If I could throw myself into a volcano to fix everything that is wrong with the world, I would cry and hug everybody I love and regret the hell out of what I was about to do to them and then chuck myself in the damn volcano. I think not doing so would be more selfish.

That is... a totally different thing than this question asked! 😂

However, you've established in previous questions (some of which were cut for length) that you don't feel responsible for fixing/changing the world as a moral imperative, so your answer to this is actually more interesting, lol.

I don't know what it actually says about your Sorting, but I'm leaving it in because it made me laugh.

• Do you think you’re a good person?

Another easy one. Define good! I try to be, within my own belief systems. But I know a lot of people who would not think I’m a good person, because in their belief systems I’m not. I think some of those people are good people, I think some are bad people. Life is complex. I do my best.

This is a pretty Birdy answer. You keep going back and forth! :p I'm probably going to end up leaving you with an ambiguous answer, huh?

If you're a burned Lion, you sound awfully chill about it and you use your ridiculously strong Bird model in an unusually healthy way, for a Lion. Lots of Lions with Bird models really struggle to reconcile the different priorities.

If you're a Bird, you have a ridiculously strong Lion model that seems to actually override your Bird sometimes--but Bird systems are complex and can include weird recursive rules like "in this situation, this other Primary is more right so we use that." Also, your understanding of your system seems more hands-off than a lot of Birds.

• It’s important to do the right thing, even when it feels wrong.

…yeeeeeees…. but. Why does it feel wrong? I would want to investigate that before doing the thing, because if it feels wrong, maybe I’m missing something that my subconscious caught. If I investigate that and am sure about the right, I think… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could do something I felt super icky about even if it was quote-unquote right?

Oh hey, that's my approach to Lion primary too. One point for Bird + loud Lion model?

By now I bet you either have a strong feeling about which of the options I've narrowed down is you, or you'll think about it and go back and pore over the archives here and on the other Sorting blogs. And then you'll think about which approach you took and what kind of a hint that is, which is basically meta-meta-analysis. Except now I've written this and you've read it, so you'll be wondering how reading this will affect your judgment, so it's meta-meta-meta-analysis now.

...I'll stop. 😉

Secondaries

Future Paint here. Tumblr discarded the ENTIRE second half of my response to this post, because I saved it and then hit post without refreshing the page, so it posted the old version, because of course it did.

The tl;dr is that I believe anon to be a rapid-fire Bird secondary with a Lion model.

Brb while I reconstruct this post.

• Do you like going into situations with a plan?

• When you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do?

I would love to, and some situations I do– job interviews, for example – but sticking to a plan is not my strong suit. I can follow a schedule, to some degree, and I can kind of make plans… but then I trip up because how can I account for all contingencies? So I usually end up chucking the plan and YOLOing my way through something on a wave of accumulated knowledge and practice experience.

Not all Birds are big planners. The defining thing is preparation, and that can mean hoarding skills, knowledge, tools and contacts, not just making plans and decisions in advance. A Bird might, for example, decide not to schedule their vacation, and instead read a couple travel guides before they go but wing it when they're there.

This question is one of those where I’d love a less abstract scenario. Because… it depends. In a video game I’ll usually go around. In real life I’ll stop and panic for a minute or a day, then get up and deal with whatever needs dealing with. Unless its a super immediate issue, and then I’m in the middle of it already and have to put off my existential crisis until later (see prior example of “breaking up a dogfight by sticking my arm betwixt them,” see also “i spent much of my teens rolling out of bed at 3am and getting dressed to go help with a foal delivery and I didn’t really start thinking until like twenty minutes after we arrive and start dealing with shit.” Like, I was making decisions and thinking about things, but… its different. They’re not reasoned choices, they’re “this has to be dealt with NOW so do what you can and sort it out later.”)

• Do you like to gather all possible information before making a decision?

I guess I land on needing to understand your problems. You can’t put them off forever, but if you’ve got the time to do some research and contemplation aforehand, that seems like the better choice.

I need you all to know that I didn't cut this dogfight story--I'm not depriving you of whatever wild ride anon had, it's just as much of a Noodle Incident to me as it is to you. However. I don't think I need to argue *too* much that anon has a Lion model.

• Is knowing things or knowing people more useful when solving problems?

Another tricky one, because I think all the answers are correct. I do like to know what’s going on, but at a certain point that IS just stalling. But! It’s true that making decisions without understanding the full picture CAN really mess you up! But it’s ALSO true that, in many situations, I can change my mind if I learn more. I think I lean towards doing All the Research before making a choice, but I’m pretty sure that’s largely a procrastination tactic.

Birrrrd.

Both. Ideally, one would know a range of People who know/have many Things. I’m a big fan of bartering my own skills and knowledge in return for those of other people – for example I am the go-to research person, because I’m pretty good at sourcing info and condensing it into “here’s what you ought to know, here are your options, and here’s where you can go for more information,” a thing which I do freely for my family. In return they do things I can’t or don’t want to, like my taxes or getting things off high shelves or making travel plans or whatnot.

• When your plan fails, what do you do?

I’m better at accumulating knowledge than connections, but I think the right connections are more often useful than said knowledge.

As @wisteria-lodge has said before, some Birds accumulate contacts the same way they gather other tools. They like the be the person to say, "I know a guy."

You're VERY clearly not a Badger. I've cut all the questions that were like "do you do [Badger Thing]" and you were like "NO" so. I don't think you'll need convincing on this point lol

See above… panic then act, unless I don’t have time, in which case act and then panic. Solve the immediate problems, clear some space to breathe, then deal with the rest.

• Do you collect things? Facts, objects, hobbies?

……. do links full of interesting things I fully intend to get around to reading and understanding someday count?

…yeah, this is where I take a look around at my books, games, Interesting Facts, various half-compentent hobby activities, and enduring rage that I cannot possibly know All The Things because I am a mortal subject to the finite bounds of my life and acknowledge that yes. I hoard the SHIT out of both physical and intellectual stuff.

• Do you ever study or plan excessively for things that aren’t useful? Just for fun?

I’m torn between yes, and yes but they have a purpose. I do enjoy learning, i was always good in school, when I could be bothered to care. There are a few topics I enjoy for their own sake – language and history and anything world-building, really, anything to do with who we are and how we got there. But I won’t usually go in depth; most things I skim enough to understand the basic concept and move on, leaving those things as cocktail facts. “Oh, you’re an astronomer focusing on the moons of Jupiter? I read $JupiterFact a while back, what are your thoughts?”

• Do you act differently in different groups? Does it bother you, if you do?

Like, I dont care about the moons of Jupiter unless Titan or Europa or whichever turns out to have life, but space is neat and I’d be excited by that conversation and I’m intrigued by the concepts even if i don’t have the inclination to deep-dive the topic.

These 3 question/answer pairs explain pretty clearly why I think anon is a Bird secondary...

Not very often, and not much. I absolutely utilize code-switching, but I’ve felt bad about not opening my mouth at times when I worked at a place that assumed I was a good little Christian white girl… I’m usually too afraid of repercussions to say anything, but I remember my supervisor saying an atheist billboard was “too much” and I just said “no, of course it isnt” and we gave each other a look like “… well this isn’t good…”

• When solving problems, is your first reaction seeing what “tools” you have in your pockets?

In general though, I’ll use a mask when I need to but I’m just kinda… me.

...and this was what cleared up the Lion secondary model for me.

• When you are deciding how to react to a situation, are your choices most affected by internal (how you feel, what you think, what you want) or external inputs (what’s happening around you)?

…I’m really not sure. I don’t think i actively assess the tools, physical or mental, that I have to hand? I generally know if I DON’T have the resources to deal with something, but if i do have them, I just do the thing and don’t think about it.

That's normal. You just know your toolset well enough that you don't have to think about it. Some Birds don't, or their toolset is eclectic enough (or even granular enough; try remembering all the books you've read that are relevant to a given research paper topic) that they forget what they have.

I think if I knew what I felt, I’d be happy deciding based on internal things, but I don’t know that I trust myself enough.

This answer seems more relevant to your primary. Might be Burned Lion primary peeking through.

And that puts me at a hatstall again.

Sorry for the bombardment, but it seemed like this would be relevant. I know I prefer more info to less, when I’m trying to help someone figure things out, so… words. Many, many words. Thrown at you. Mea culpa.

Hope you don't mind my cherrypicking! This must have been a ton of work for you to write, and I threw a bunch of it away 😭

(Only sort of, I did read it all first.)

In conclusion

Primary: either burned Lion + healthy Bird model, or Bird + loud loud Lion model.

Secondary: rapid-fire Bird with Lion model.

Hope that helps!

[bigskydreaming]

what are your favorite and least favorite tropes in fanfiction regarding dick grayson?

Most of these I feel are probably a given with me given that I am apparently physically incapable of being subtle and am donating my body to science upon my demise so that this phenomenon may be studied. For Science.

(But also like, the funny thing about me is as much as I rant about a few specific topics its only so frequent because there’s actually only a few specific things I gripe about its just that they’re eeeeeeeeeeverywhere.)

Thus, in no particular order, my least favorite Dick Grayson tropes in fanon and in canon because I can’t read apparently OR AT LEAST I CHOOSE NOT TO FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS EXERCISE, JEEZ, LEAVE ME ALONE....

1) Police officer Dick Grayson

2) Dick hated Jason pre-death and/or judges and is incapable of understanding or empathizing with Jason post-his return

3) Police officer Dick Grayson

4) Dick’s loved ones and friends all making jokes and insults out of the nickname he keeps in memory of his parents and Dick being all like lol this is fine, this isn’t debilitating to my self-esteem at all hahaha oh man that was a good one, I AM a Dickface, you nailed it!

5) Police officer Dick Grayson

6) Dick’s loved ones and friends all punching Dick every time he puts a foot out of place and then everyone both in-universe and in-comments being like NO PROBLEMS DETECTED, and also WOW, CHILL OUT DG, TEMPER MUCH?

7) Police officer Dick Grayson

8) Dick fired Tim and callously kicked him out of his home and the city UMM METHINKS THE FUCK NOT

9) Police officer Dick Grayson

10) Only addressing conflicts between Bruce and Dick when using the framing device “when you think about it though isn’t it still like at least half Dick’s fault that Bruce fired him and kicked him out of his home and hit him and guilt-tripped him into doing what he wanted.”

11) Bonus round - sub Dick Grayson. Like, I barely ever read smut in this fandom because I’m like ‘mmm, no thx and also hard pass’ to rape and incest as fetish or porn, and its like....hard enough to find any mature content with Dick that doesn’t overlap with at least one of those so I just kinda stopped looking ages ago, but even just when glancing my eyes past tags while browsing, I just DON’T GET THIS. I tend to be a variety is the spice of life kinda guy and thus usually can make a case for any character going any which way in any number of things, but this is the one character where I’m like, I do not see any angle in which he has a submissive bone in his body. Yeah he has control freak tendencies and there’s that trope about people who spend most of their time in charge wanting to give up control and let go at times, buuuuuut that only actually works with people who don’t fully WANT to be in charge or control to begin with, not people like Dick whose control freak tendencies IMO are directly born of how rarely he gets to be in control of even his own personal life in the first place. Just doesn’t compute for me.

And in no particular order, top ten most favorite Dick Grayson takes in canon and fanon, with these weirdly just being the direct inverse of things I hate because I mentioned the Not Subtle thing and also the Not Actually As Picky As I Often Come Across As, right?

1) Anything other than police officer Dick Grayson

2) Dick and Jason being bros who get along and confide in each other about the stuff they can’t/won’t share with anyone else because they understand each other in ways most others never will, and also also them having Secret History as Brothers BECAUSE THEY ARE BROTHERS WITH HISTORY BUT I FUCKIN’ DIGRESS

3) A Tim who respects and appreciates Dick’s contributions to his life and happiness and the amount of time and effort Dick has put into being there for him often at his own personal expense, even if there have been like one or two times in the grand scheme of thirty years of comic book content when Dick wasn’t able to put Tim first because he felt he had to put someone with directly competing needs to Tim’s first in this particular time and place instead, just like he had so often before put Tim’s needs ahead of others who had competing needs at the time

4) A Bruce who acknowledges his fuck-ups with Dick and actually apologizes instead of just being like “I am going to look at you solemnly with my Apologetic Eyes but its on you to read the Apology clearly present in my Apologetic Eyes cuz that’s the only one you’ll ever get as I am a genius and a renowned playboy but I do not do the words good except for when I am being genius-y and renowedly playboy-y and not Apologetic.” And who also puts in actual work to actually fix things with Dick when he fucks up in that over-the-top-I GOTTA BE THE BEST THERE EVER WAS, POK-E-MON!! kinda over-achieving way in which he does everything in life.

5) An extended Batfamily and hero community who actually ACT like Dick is someone they respect and appreciate and are in awe of for his position and accomplishments in the hero community and the fact that he’s been out there risking his life day in and day out for people almost as long as any other hero out there, and who has in fact been doing this for a FAR greater percentage of his lifetime than any other hero, period. Rather than an extended Batfamily and hero community who just SAY that Dick is respected and appreciated by everyone and this is why actually they resent him and think he’s over-rated, with no actual sign or evidence of Respect, Appreciation and/or Awe on display anywhere at any time ever.

6) A Dick Grayson who is allowed by the narrative to be as hyper-competent and intelligent and multi-skilled as any member of the Batfamily, without feeling a need for qualifiers about him being second best or a good acrobat but not as good at the detective stuff as the others, etc, etc. Noooooope. Nerp. Nuh-uh. Someday I will rise from my death-bed amid my death-throes one last time just long enough to gasp out “The Batfamily’s entire high concept is that they are a family of literal Mary Sues and thus all of them are every bit as intelligent and hyper-competent as the plot demands and its stupid to try and rank them and telling when Dick somehow always ends up ranked bottom last despite being the kid whose very existence as a hyper-competent little genius troll boy is what jumpstarted the kid hero trend in universe in the first place, which is the kind of thing that could ONLY happen if he was impressing and making second-guessers of nay-sayers left and right BUT I FUCKING DIGRESS, GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK, AND SCENE!” At which point I will expire, my work here done.

7) A Dick Grayson who is allowed to get mad and yell when people DO FUCKED UP THINGS LIKE HIT HIM AND BLAME HIM FOR SHIT THAT ISN’T HIS FAULT without this being viewed as a “flaw” and him Being Dick Grayson Badly. Extra points for a Dick Grayson who is allowed to stay centered in his own traumas and tragedies without everyone else around him somehow making it out to be that they’re MORE victimized by the things he is most directly the victim of.

8) A Dick Grayson who eats more than just sugary cereal because he was literally raised from birth even pre-Bruce as a world class athlete and show me one single person that description matches who doesn’t know how to actually keep to a nutritious diet. Yes, by all means have him eat the occasional sugary snack as a treat, that’s fine, but when the take is that this is all he exists on or would be the only thing he exists on if not for the intercession of Actual Adults being like eat your veggies, Dickie, like.....mmmm, but whatcha doin’, fic?

9) A Dick Grayson who doesn’t actually even HAVE to get mad and lose his temper when people do fucked up things like hit him and blame him for shit that isn’t his fault or do nothing but mock and insult him and make him feel bad, because there’s actually other friends and family present who make a point to be like WHOA, HOW ABOUT I SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN LIKE AN INTELLECTUAL, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT OKAY? I’m just saying, how is it that every single fic and their grandma posits the existence of a swear jar because Alfred will not tolerate uncouth language in his domain, but it coooooooompletely flies over everyone’s head that Alfred of all people would be okay with people casually disrespecting his eldest grandson for the sake of a yawn-worthy punchline every single time someone opens their mouth to say “Dickhead” without even any kind of “Swear jar!” follow-up, let alone a “I don’t know who gave you the idea it was alright to disrespect Master Dick’s memories of his parents, young sirs, but I assure you most assuredly...‘TWAS NOT I.”

10) The existence of literally any other plot for Dick Grayson than one involving or relying on brainwashing. Like, just spitballing here but maybe people would have less trouble acknowledging and remembering the hyper-competence and skilled and genius qualities of the first Batkid if he was able to more often put those things on display instead of just running around 24/7 either brainwashed or brandishing pom-poms in enthusiastic commemoration of the hyper-competence and genius of everyone BUT him.

11) Bonus round - literally any other career choice besides being a cop.

[purplesurveys]

1257

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry?  Oh for sure. We had to watch It’s A Beautiful Life and I know I cried every single time I watched that movie, whether for school or on my own time.

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about?  I don’t really get this question. I feel like it would make more sense if it asked how early I’m willing to wake up in the morning...? Anyway, I don’t pay attention to the time I sleep at night. Sometimes I’ll pass out as early as midnight, and sometimes I’ll be up until 3; it doesn’t matter to me.

What is you favorite type of lunch meat?  I’m not into those in general.

What time of the year do you dislike the most?  The heat in April and May is just brutal and uncalled for. It gets so hot and disgustingly humid and most times the aircon can’t even do much to quell it.

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs?  Yeah, banana ketchup since that’s what we usually have a bottle of. Generally, I have banana ketchup with most of my breakfast dishes too.

What is your favorite color to wear? I don’t really have a favorite to wear those days mostly because I barely go out anyway and there’s been little need to update my closet.

Are you an overachiever?  Seems like the type of question you should be asking my parents, not me haha. Personally, though, I’m fairly proud of what I’ve accomplished.

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)?  Maybe longer legs and smaller teeth, but I’m not exactly insecure about mine.

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry? Did you just raise the possibility of marrying a deer? Anyway...since I mentioned Two for the Road in the last survey, I’ll go with Mark from that movie. Seems like my type of partner. 

How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)?  With legs...around 2-3 weeks. Armpits, maybe about a week or so. Never more than a month for either.

What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else?  For the most part I’ve always been cautious of what I say; writing, on the other hand...I’ve written stuff on my diary wherein I let out all my frustrations against my mom. I know they were mean because she cried over them – but that also entailed snooping through my stuff, so I’ve never felt bad about it. I meant those things as I wrote them because it was my safe space, and she violated that. That’s on her.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry?  I did, but I instantly realized it was bad so I stopped as soon as I began.

What is your favorite thing about your life?  How everything seems to have fallen in its place these days. There’s really little to complain about and I’m grateful for that.

Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire?  Animals.

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody?  No.

How many real bfs/gfs have you had?  One.

Did you enjoy your past relationships?  I did.

Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. << I love this choice, let’s just go with this one lol.

Could you wait until marriage for sex?  Sure.

What’s the best Nirvana song?  I don’t listen to them. I know a couple of songs but I don’t like them enough to be my favorites.

What was the last thing that impressed you?  The new Butter remix with Megan Thee Stallion.

When was the last time you were in a pet store?  Years, years ago.

What nationality is your last name?  Spanish or Portuguese, I’m not super sure.

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip?  I never dip my chips; I just have them as is.

Who was the last boy that you saw cry?  Idk...maybe one of my cousins from one of our family reunions last year. I don’t get to be around a lot of boys or guys.

Does your mom know you do surveys?  No. I’ve never had to raise it and I can’t see a situation where I would have to.

Have you ever had a serious injury?  Yeah, I got a big wound from when I went snorkeling around a decade ago. I wasn’t provided flippers so when I was kicking to stay afloat I managed to hit the coral reefs underneath repeatedly, which majorly scraped and gashed my left foot until it was an open, bleeding mess. It was infected for weeks and I’m surprised it didn’t leave any kind of mark or scar.

What was the last thing you achieved?  Handling a campaign for a major client successfully and getting good coverage and results for it.

Would you enjoy being famous?  Probably, but I wish I had some sort of talent or skill that would propel me to popularity in the first place hahaha.

What’s under your bed?  Some things I collected from past hobbies and interests, like all my old wrestling magazines.

Do you enjoy travelling?  Love it.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it?  I mean I joined an org in college, which technically makes me a member for life. I’m not name-dropping but it’s one of the two journalism organizations in my alma mater.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk?  I can’t recall. I don’t drink strawberry milk.

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set?  I never collected those.

Do you have a clock in your room?  Nope.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher?  I honestly can’t remember. I only had like three sessions with different instructors for each, and the one instructor I remember having was extremely cranky and impatient.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite?  Hold It Against Me is pretty fun.

Does mind over matter work for you?  Sure.

Are you paranoid?  Oh yeah. Overthinker is pretty much my middle name.

What is the best thing about winter?  I wouldn’t know but considering the things associated with it, I’ve always believed it would be my favorite season.

Have you ever been truly in love?  Hmm. I think so, yeah. I’d give myself that.

Are you currently planning a trip?  Nah. Nothing set in stone, but Angela, Reena, and I have been talking about flying to South Korea next year. We’ll see.

How many plants are in your home?  Several. My mom is a bit of a fan, but it’s nothing obsessive.

What is your favorite possession?  I treasure my BTS merch, I guess haha. Nobody is allowed to touch them or move them around without my permission. As often as my mom likes to barge in my room and touch my stuff, she seems to understand and doesn’t lay a finger on any of the merch either.

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked?  Sure. But it's never really mattered to me; it just feels nice to be nice and do nice things for people. It does feel nice to be thanked, but I don’t necessarily do it for the recognition.

What movies have tripped you out?  I’m Thinking of Ending Things, Midsommar, Anomalisa, Under the Skin, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and The Killing of A Sacred Deer are a few of them.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade?  Yesssss, I even had a pair as a kid. I got into it because I loved to ice skate, but it turned out I wasn’t as good as gliding on the ground so I ultimately preferred ice skating. Anyway, no, I haven’t done rollerblading in years.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night?  I did. I stayed because it’s where I felt safe and I didn’t know where else to go or what else to do outside of it.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating?  Sure.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep?  Nope. I find them more distracting than anything else, and they actually keep me from sleeping.

What summertime treats do you love?  I don’t have any.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. < Yeah, this sounds about right.

What do you hate most about moving?  The last time we moved was in 2008...and I don’t really remember disliking any part of it. I was actually excited for us to have a home all to ourselves after living with extended family in a cramped house all my life.

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting?  Depends where. Sometimes it can be exciting, sometimes it can be inconvenient but you kinda do it out of desperation lol.

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks?  No, I’m scared of how it would affect my body so I’ve never tried.

Has anyone ever whistled at you?  Countless random men.

Do you like scarves?  They can be comfy if I’m traveling somewhere cold...but I don’t really get to do that often, so.

Is your father homophobic?  I haven’t seen any signs from him. My mom is much more likely to exhibit internalized homophobia – she just did the other night.

Do you take gummy vitamins?  No, only when I was a teenager.

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all?  I don’t think so, nothing I can recall.

Who would you like to meet before you die?  I don’t have any goal person in mind.

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? Hmm, probably not. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of?  The Avril Lavigne doppelganger one is extremely hilarious and I read up so many thread about it on Twitter just so I can see how far people can stretch it.

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die?  I don’t care.

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else?  Either of my best friends.

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday?  The weather.

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy?  My mom.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself?  Yeah the soundtracks are actually fucking great. The person who took this survey before me named Supermassive Black Hole by Muse, and that’s one of my favorites from all the soundtracks. The song Slow Life in New Moon is nice, too. How old was the first person you kissed?  She was 17, going on 18.

Will you be a strict parent one day?  I’d have some rules set but I wouldn’t suffocate my kids.

Last person to stand up for you?  Heck if I know. I can do that for myself.

Have you been to a baby shower?  No.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?  My ex.

What’s your favorite high school memory?  Hiding a same-sex relationship from my conservative, homophobic Catholic teachers.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single?  I like being single these days.

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do?  Trying out the Nevis Swing in New Zealand.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate?  I saw no point in studying chemistry.

Italian food or Chinese food?  Chinese. I like Italian cuisine, but sometimes I find it a tad bit salty for my taste.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study?  Not flash cards but sometimes I’ll write my notes down in several index cards because for some reason I retain information better that way.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer?  No.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online?  No. I never saw the appeal of most of them, honestly.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike.  Gabie.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson?  I have nothing to say about him tbh. 

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school?  Nothing beyond getting into an argument with this kid in 2nd grade and getting sent to the counselor’s office for it.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras?  I used to, until I handed it down to my sister...and until she let it smash onto the ground because she didn’t place it on her tripod properly when she was filming one time. I still don’t get why she’s so defensive about it; I wish she’d just admit she majorly fucked up on that. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets?  It makes me silently judge the parents more so than letting myself be bothered by a child.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother?  We’re not offered the chance to get yearbooks unless we’re in graduating years.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome?  No.

Jalapeños: yay or nay?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Did you ever play Minecraft? No. I can’t care less.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member?  I didn’t.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense?  Me, sometimes. Hahahaha.

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?  The way I was broken up with, like what the person who last took this said. I’m not tortured by it and her anymore, but I don’t think I deserved to intensely mull over about what I could have possibly done to be broken up with the way she did.

What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. < This pretty much hits the nail on the head on how my ex is, so I’ll just go ahead and agree.

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it?  I’d get braces again and...that’s it, really.

What are your feelings on feminism?  I support it and I support how it advocates equality.

Describe your first relationship?  I’ve only had one relationship so I’ll just answer the following question.

Describe your last relationship?  Internally toxic; uhhh healthy at some points I guess, when she wasn’t being a selfish prick; a disaster towards the end.

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex?  I honestly don’t know what constitutes ‘safe sex’ in a same-sex relationship, sooooo idk if I have.

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?  It’s a realistic take on love and I appreciate that it took its sweet time to highlight the ugly sides of love and marriage. Also, Audrey Hepburn taking her acting chops to the next level was just beautiful to watch. She was always a fantastic actress in all her movies, but I could tell her acting in Two for the Road had just a little bit more depth to it.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?  That I’m nice and approachable.

Do you feel protective over someone?  My friends.

What perfume/cologne do you wear?  Heat Rush.

Where did your vehicle come from?  My parents got it for me as a high school grad gift.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?  I haven’t been to a wedding since 2007, and back then I was designated as a flower girl lol. I’ve never been to a wedding where I was chosen to be a bridesmaid.

What is your favorite way to eat chicken?  CHICKEN SANDWICH. Also chicken wings.

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is:  Oreo cheesecake topped with 24 macarons.

What do you wear to bed?  Something thin and airy.

What were you doing at 8pm last night?  I was watching Bon Voyage.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

[daikon1]

2020 Fanfic Year in Review!

@floraone and @nari20 encouraged me to participate in the Year-In-Review so okay, here we go!!

1. List of fics completed this year:

Completed (as in marked-as-completed) is only two!

Advice From Her Fairy Prince (which I actually wrote in 2019!) and

Swipe Right - A Tinder Tale

I also have two ongoing short story collections that I started this year and then two multichapters that will be carried into the new year, though Teammates Don’t Kiss is fully written and R is for Reverse is more than three quarters done.

2. Number of words written:

86,680!

Not bad considering I only started in August! (Do note that I’m only counting words that got posted, so since I work with buffer chapters this is a little less than what I’ve technically written!!)

3. Your most popular fic this year:

R is for Reverse, for sure! I’m so thrilled that the thing I’m most excited about also seems to be resonating with people.

4. Your personal favourite this year:

Definitely R! It’s such a delight to work on. There’s a reasonable chance I’ll be a bit lost when I finish it.

5. Your favourite scene:

Oh god... the more I think about this the harder it gets to pick just one!! There were so many scenes that I feel like came out really, really well.

I love pretty much every single moment of chapter 6 of R (so much UsaMamo!) but honestly I think the bit where Minako and Ami show up at Mamoru’s apartment might be my favorite? I ADORE writing Minako, she’s such a trip and honestly writes herself most of the time, and the way she and Mamoru play off of each other gives me a lot of really fun completely non-sexual tension. Plus, she’s the WORLD’S BIGGEST UsaMamo shipper and I love that.

Second favorite...I think the bit at the end of Chapter 4 of R, where Usagi and Tuxedo Mask talk after he defeats Leshy. That was totally unplanned - per my outline, Usagi was supposed to leave the tree and be gone when the battle was over - but thankfully she refused, and instead we got some really sweet bonding moments with the two of them. AND THEN HE GETS THE NERVE TO GIVE HER THE DANGOS and you can’t tell me that isn’t hella sweet.

OH and the bit in Chapter 7 of R where Mamoru totally panics over wanting to hold Usagi’s hand. I ADORE that and was so so happy with it.

6. A fic or scene that challenged you:

Pretty much ALL of the sexting scene in Tinder was HARD to write. It’s very personal to write someone masturbating, it turns out, and this was also my first major work of smut. SO there was a lot of alcohol consumed and hand-holding needed from my beta as I made my way through it.

7. A line of writing you’re proud of:

So the bit I’m currently most proud of hasn’t been posted yet (it’s from a later chapter of TDK!), so I’m gonna pick another one!

I skimmed several chapters and found quite a few bits that I’m pleased with. The bit in Chapter 7 of R where he tries to get up the nerve to hold Usagi’s hand comes to mind, but it’s pretty text-heavy so instead I’m going to specifically highlight the bit at the end of Chapter 6 of R:

The smell of her hair lingered in the hallway, her pink slippers lined up next to his black ones, and the dishes from her breakfast still sat, unwashed, on his coffee table. Hints of her presence were everywhere, and yet all he wanted, even moments after she'd left, was to see her again. The kaleidoscope inside him was back, but rather than fragmenting his emotions, this time it zeroed in on only one with crystal clarity.

Even if that rational part of him knew that this wasn't what he was supposed to do, he wasn't strong enough to fight it anymore. For the first time, he allowed himself to consciously think his dearest wish:

Maybe he could get her to fall in love with him.

Also, this one is from Advice From Her Fairy Prince, which is a Skip Beat! fanfic, but I CRACK THE HELL UP every time I reread it:

"Morizumi-san tried to throw you off a building?"

Yeah, I dunno. It’s a gloriously delayed reaction in context and I find it wonderfully absurd, so I wanted to shout that one out, too.

8.  A comment that touched you:

Oh my god, I’ve received so many nice comments this year??? I go back and reread them when I’m having a tough day and just glow. I’ve had a few people tell me things like something I wrote is one of their all-time favorites or that my writing style reminds them of another author I admire and I’m basically ready to crawl under my bed like “Who, me??” I also LIVE FOR the long, detailed comments in which people react to specifics from the story (I have several readers who do this for me and it makes me giddy every time).

One comment in particular does stick out as being far, far too kind and praised me in ways that made me feel insanely flattered and gave me a huge bout of imposter syndrome simultaneously, where they basically performed literary criticism* on one of my chapters and found all this meaning and value in my work that honestly left me a bit embarrassed in a good way. 

*Note: While I personally found this extremely flattering, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend trying this at home if you haven’t received a positive response to it before, because fic is meant to be fun, and unprompted literary critique (especially unsolicited ConCrit) can make some authors feel very hurt or defensive. YMMV of course!!

9. Something that inspired your writing this year:

So @floraone ‘adopted’ me into the fandom early this year, and spending so much time with a bunch of wonderful, creative, like-minded people not only saved my mental health in this shitstorm of a year, you all also inspired me to start writing fic again, including in several genres and events I might otherwise have shyed away from. So, I mean, that! You all! I’m so thrilled to be here and so wonderfully delighted to have found this amazing and supportive little fandom corner to play in. Thank you for inspiring me and welcoming me <3

10. Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc)

I’d say a toss-up between Tinder (writing a whole smutpiece where they are never physically in the same room together is an accomplishment, I’m just saying) and chapter 4 of R. Chapter 4 just came out so friggin’ well, and on the occasions I’ve gone back to reread it I feel very proud of it (whereas Tinder I’m more inclined to nitpick at upon reread). So, one of those!

11. Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

Oh man. I would love to finish R before my birthday (it’s in February so eh, we’ll see). And I’d love to like, not totally lose momentum and fall out of the fandom once I finish R! I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever feel quite this inspired again, so maybe finding something else that makes me want to write like this is a good goal for the year LOL. I’d also love to see if I can top my proudest bit of writing from TDK, and I think that’s a good thing to aspire to - but if I can’t, I get to put it in my wrap-up next year! Okay! So that’s my year in review, but I would love to see some other people do these! I’m not going to tag anyone because most of the people I would tag already have been, but if you see this and want to participate, consider yourself tapped in.

Here’s to the end of 2020, and fingers crossed that the next year runs more smoothly!!

[lillupon]

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask. 

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it. 

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF. 

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community. 

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?  

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)  

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless. 

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well. 

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags. 

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn… 

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?