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strawberryya · 1 year ago

Text

too pure for hell, but fallen nonetheless

pairing: kang taehyun x reader

synopsis: Do you ever find yourself wishing you could escape your problems? Still, allowing the mind to conjure such a scene may unfurl a worse struggle than the present. As you journey through life, be mindful of the choices you make, for they hold the power to summon the winds of fate.

word count: 7.1k

genre/cw: angst, smut, supernatural au, selkie!taehyun, fem!reader, drowning depicted, death mentioned, killing and murder mentioned, suicidal thoughts, being held captive against your will, chasing/hunting depicted (not animals), unprotected sex, enemies to lovers… or well…, general hatred towards the human race, betrayal and lots of mixed feelings, cold exterior Taehyun.

rating: 18+

a/n: I DID IT! I'm not sure what I did, but I certainly did it.

this is my second fic for the wonderful collaboration thrill of the hunt, hosted by @cultofdionysusnet - check out the other exciting and thrilling stories on the official master list here!

network tagging: @svthub @cultofdionysusnet @k-labels @kvanity-main

How does one move on?

It’s an impossible question. Especially when you have just uncovered the biggest betrayal in your life. He had cheated on you. A month before the wedding.

Your boyfriend since forever, your high school sweetheart, your everything - and your best friend.

Your soon-to-be husband and your maid of honor had decided it would be a good time to reveal the years of cheating they had hidden from you today. Because your failed project at work hadn't been enough to ruin your entire week, but now your entire future was in shambles at your feet.

The new park had been planned out to the last detail, your entire team had done their absolute best for half a year and now it was all to be thrown out the window for a new twenty-story building and a parking lot. “Which makes sense, because the world doesn’t have enough of those,” you complained, holding back your tears on the phone as you drove home. Your mom listened halfheartedly.

“Well, sweetie, I know it’s hard, but I think that you should just say ‘okay’ about all this for now. And just focus on the wedding instead! I got these new place cards, and I think they’re absolutely perfect.”

“Mom. I really don’t care about that right now…” you were going to explain, but you let your words stay inside, afraid you might say something you would regret if you didn’t shut your mouth.

“No, no… I can understand that…” she conceded, sounding just a bit hurt that you didn’t want to gush about your upcoming wedding.

“I’ll talk to you later Mom… Tom said he wanted to talk about something tonight, so I’ll just call you tonight or tomorrow.”

Before hanging up she told you to just relax at home with your fiancé, to try and be happy about what life has given you instead of what it takes away… she wanted you to try and look on the bright side of life.

You weren’t sure you would be able to see anything past the clouds that stormed your mind after the horrible meetings you had been suffering through the entire day. But you wanted to think about something else too and promised her to try.

That’s not a promise you were able to keep, however. Walking through the door to find Tom waiting anxiously in the kitchen with your best friend right beside him. Holding his hand, gently, supportively. Your heart stopped when you saw the look on their faces, and you felt your once picture-perfect life cracking at the edges.

When they confessed their love for each other you didn’t cry, you didn’t even ask how, when, or why. You felt so empty as you watched your best friend for ten years wail for you to forgive them and not be mad at her.

“I never wanted to hurt you. But I fell in love! Can’t you be happy for me?”

Her voice was strained from the tears. You thought the tears looked just as forced.

Tom didn’t say anything. He had apologized and told you he wanted to call off the wedding. The wedding was supposed to happen in less than a month. The wedding you had planned together since you were only children.

Your head hurts. You needed them to shut up. To get out of your sight.

Couldn’t they just leave you alone?!

Standing up suddenly, your best friend’s pleas stopped, making your body sigh in relief before you stormed right back out of the house.

You didn’t know where you were going at first. Head and body pounding with anger, confusion, and fear. If you could just find somewhere to think, everything would get better. The car speeding through the streets wasn’t helping you think right now. You needed something that would let you cry the tears that had been held back all day, without a word of comfort in return. Somewhere the salty streams dripping from your face wouldn’t make a difference. Something bigger than all of your problems.

The sea.

You had always been fond of the sea. As a kid, you used to swim fiercely in even the highest of waves. Your parents standing by the shore with worry in their eyes and hands waving you back towards land. There’s no beach like the one in your childhood close to where you live. But not far from the city is a small port, the sea visible for a good stretch before the land overtook it and hid it away from the population walking by.

When you curl up next to the edge of the concrete docks, the salty water ripples calmly in front of you. There weren’t many waves this far into the docks, but further out you could see the white lines appearing and dissolving over and over again. It was hypnotic.

Silently the tears you had held back began running down your cheeks. You held yourself tighter. The slight breeze scented by the sea mist blew gently in your hair, drying the tears as they came.

“Why…” you mourned.

There was nobody around, no one to disturb or comfort you, so your sobs grew louder the more you thought about the reality of what had happened. So many things had gone wrong. Everything was just- so wrong.

You looked over the edge of the concrete land under your body, down at the bottomless waters. What would it feel like to dive in and let your body be engulfed by the dark water? You shook your head at your distorted reflection at the fleeting thought.

It would hurt just as much to leave everything behind as it did to stay.

Nevertheless, the pain of holding on even on a day like this was overwhelming. It made your every muscle shake with frustration. Your sobs mirrored your desperation, your tears dripping down your cheeks, pooling at your jaw, and one by one, joining the sea.

When your blurred gaze met a pair of huge black eyes in the water, you froze up. They were staring at you, watching you cry with their big black eyes that showed no emotion that you could register.

It was a seal, the shadow in the water revealing its large size. It was bigger than the small ones usually seen around these shores, but it was undeniably a seal.

The large seal blinked at you slowly, before turning around to swim away. But instead of simply leaving you to your suffering, it began looking back at you at every other meter it swam as if to check if you were coming along. You thought you might be dreaming because there was no way a seal was trying to get you to come with it into the sea. When you didn’t come with, it stopped, seemingly waiting for you again.

Without really knowing why, you kicked off your shoes and stepped into the water. The freezing waves drenched your clothes, but the cold against your skin didn’t make you go back. You begin to swim, following the seal into the deeper parts of the ocean. Your heart pounded in your chest, the thrill of doing something dangerous filling your entire body with adrenaline. It felt just like it had when you were little, except now no one waited for you at the shoreline.

You wanted to escape everything, and following a seal into the depths of the sea might be a temporary way, but it was all you had right now. The seal dove under the surface, and you held your breath and followed.

It was impossible to see anything in the dark, murky waters, and the current quickly overpowered you. You weren’t even able to fight the large body of water when you felt your body being sucked down and away from everything you had ever known. When the cold and the dark enveloped you, you let go of your breath, the light from above disappearing from your vision as you closed your eyes in resignation.

You couldn’t remember what happened after that. Your mind was a blur, everything in your memory hazy and seen through the murky waters you had believed you had drowned in.

Later, you realized that you must’ve washed up on the long rocky beach before they took you. When the fae had taken you captive.

When you came to, you weren’t cold or wet anymore, but your hair still smelt like the salty water that had enveloped you as you swam after the seal. You weren’t anywhere near the sea anymore, you couldn’t even hear it, but you knew it hadn’t been a dream.

For days, you only saw the four walls of your new prison. The large window showed nothing but the drop of the mountains surrounding the entire castle. In other words, you couldn’t even dream of escaping. Unless you wished to crash through the colorful glass pains and into a sure death. There had been one other girl in the room, but you had barely spoken. Cuddling together during the cold nights to reserve some of your combined heat, you stayed quiet, knowing that your capturers were most likely listening to you at all times. The only words you had exchanged were simple words of comfort.

“I want to go home,” she had whispered one night. You had squeezed her tighter, answering with a hushed, “Me too.”

Even after days in captivity, you had a hard time understanding just what had happened on that day. The guards barely spoke to the two of you but made sure you were well-fed and clean the entire time. It was confusing, being a prisoner, but being taken care of by mystical creatures you had never even believed to be real.

You had been informed that you were the property of the fae realm inhabitants, of something called the Latha court. Everywhere you went in the short trips guards led you through in the castle you could only see what you would describe as impossible sights. Human-looking people with horns, tails, and skin that ranged in all the colors of the rainbow. You had heard stories of mystical beings, but they had only ever been just that - stories. Fairytales…

Humans existed in the castle, but they never even looked at you or your companion. Always too focused on their assignments. Clad in rags with hands cracked and bleeding from the cold.

It did seem as though they were being respected as servants, however. None of them were beaten, and none of them were ever heard complaining. You weren’t sure they were able to, but you chose not to think about that too much. Hoping with everything you had, that your captors were nicer than they had shown until now.

The days all felt the same in that dark room, the stone walls clad in rundown tapestries and flickering candles to fight the long nights didn’t help you or your companion when the horrible truth faced you both: you were either stuck in here forever, soon to be used as servants like the other humans you had seen around, or you would be killed.

It didn’t take long until the answer was clear to both of you. You sometimes overheard the people who passed by your room, but usually, it was nothing more than gossip or friendly chatter. This time, however, their words would haunt you both.

"Do you feel the thrill in the air? The Hunt is upon us!" A raspy voice had declared with joy as two sets of feet seemed to be passing by your door.

"The humans have been preparing for our ceremonial chase, let's hope it's more exciting than last year. I mean, come on, not a single scratch? Boring!"

"Well, we did stick to tradition and spiced things up in the Oidhche region. Those humans got a run for their money!" They both chuckle in unison as they continue down the corridor.

Their words sent chills down your back. Would you soon lose your life in the most gruesome of ways? You tried to not imagine what they had meant by “the Hunt”, but the way they had spoken of you and your cellmate as if you were nothing but prey had frightened you. You would need to escape, soon.

You had made up an escape plan, a plan you had told no one. But you knew your cellmate had her own plans, she had looked way too scared the day you had heard those two fae pass by your room speaking of the expected slaughter.

On the day you were both allowed out of your room to walk the short walk to the washrooms to shower, you knew time was of the essence. It had to happen today.

“Take the chance if it comes,” you whispered to your companion. Her hand closed around yours in response, as they led the both of you out and down the long spiral hallways that seemed to be everything the castle consisted of. You were cold, and your ears pulsed as the two guards showed you the way. They were stronger, and faster. You knew it from the way they weren’t the least bit scared that either of you would make a run for it. That’s why you stood a chance. They had underestimated you, and you would need to use that to your advantage. You were almost at the washrooms you had seen many times before when one of the guards stopped to chat with another fae, giving you just the opportunity the both of you had been looking for. Without a look, you both fled in different directions. the one guard who had been left alone with you was forced to choose who to chase after. Luckily for you, he didn’t seem to choose you this time.

You ran as fast as your legs could carry you, through the corridors that all looked the same, meeting close to nobody in the endless hallways to your luck. In some twisted fate of luck, you managed to rip open a large wooden door, the wind slapping you in the face as you stared out into the open mountain landscape. You needed to continue running if you wanted to live, but looking at where you must go next, you realized that you might die anyway.

It wasn’t much of a choice in the end, your life being taken by the elements at least seemed like the better option compared to the hunt that was going to be in your future no matter what you did if you stayed. You ran down the steep hill, not looking back at the large building a single time, praying to whoever would listen that nobody was following you just yet.

“Taehyun! Did you hear?” Seungkwan said as he sprinted to catch up with his friend. Or well, acquaintance. Taehyun didn’t see any of the people in his court as friends. Allies, perhaps, but not friends.

Taehyun had not heard, but judging by the exhilarated expression on Seungkwan’s face, the news he brought were big.

“Some of the humans ran away, with only three days left until the hunt starts too! And guess what, I heard that one of them was yours!” Seungkwan gossiped, looking intently at Taehyun’s expression to watch for any type of reaction to his words. To his disappointment, Taehyun proved hard to get a reaction from, as usual. Although allied, Taehyun wasn’t much of a fun person to play around with, at least not for his fae friends who loved rousing others for their entertainment. He had learned to keep up his cold facade in front of everyone. No weakness could ever be shown, or he would be exploited. He knew this. It had happened before.

“So? It’s not like there are too few humans in the world, what’s one less?”

The disdain in Taehyun’s words showed a bit more than he had intended to, a nice surprise for Seungkwan. “Well, even if they are rather worthless creatures, they sure are fun to play with…” Seungkwan said and winked at him. “Just remember to behave. We’re not like those savages from Oidhche, you know.”

“Behave? Why would I have to…”

Taehyun’s question was promptly interrupted by a servant hesitantly calling out his name. “Kang Taehyun?”

The servant drew his attention, and Seungkwan left him with more questions than answers, only the sinking feeling that he would have to deal with humans a lot more than he had hoped for this year.

He was correct, it didn’t take long before he had been informed by the servant that he was to leave immediately. His mission: catch the human he had brought in only a few weeks ago.

He was seething.

“Do I have to be the one? Can’t someone who takes pleasure in the damn hunt take her back into custody?”

“She was tricked by you, she's your responsibility. Leave soon, she can’t have gotten far.” Was all the servant responded, his monotone voice sounding more like a machine than a person.

Taehyun had always loathed the way the courts deprived humans of their free will. However, he despised the humans themselves even more. The servant left him as soon as his orders had been fulfilled.

Once she’s caught, I will just have to hunt her again once the ceremony begins. Taehyun thought as he wandered after the escaped human into the wilderness he had been informed that his prey had last been seen. He was tired of it all. The annual hunt, the three courts’ fake politeness, the humans that were brought back beaten and killed, or bitten and kept as nothing but pets.

It all disgusted him.

But in the end, he partook in it, year after year. Having little choice since he had sworn his oath to the Latha court in his youth. It was for protection, which he and his remaining family got. And honestly, it had been a good way to let off some steam. Having an outlet for all that anger was needed, but now…

It hadn’t taken Taehyun long to pick up on your track, seeing as you had no real survival skills and ended up leaving every kind of clue after you as you trudged through the wilderness.

It had only been a couple of hours since you had begun your run, and the sun was starting to set already. You had arrived at the edge of vegetation that wasn't just rocks and low bushes. The new area was filled with tall trees, high cliffs, and the sweet fragrance of pine.

If you weren’t running for your life, this would’ve been a nice hike.

As the daylight faded and the cold air grew stronger, you began to feel uneasy. You weren't adequately prepared for this journey and the thought of making it through the night was worrisome. The possibility of encountering wild animals added to your concerns. To make matters worse, it occurred to you that one of your captors, a fae, might also be stalking you in the darkness.

You continued to wander deeper into the patch of trees, hoping for some shelter from the wind, or some water that could drench the thirst that had begun becoming unbearable.

The warmth from the sun was gone quicker than you had hoped. You were already hungry and thirsty, and you had begun slightly regretting your decision to run. At least they had kept you warmer than you were right now, and you hadn’t had to go hungry or thirsty even once. Maybe you had gotten the wrong idea.

No. They had held you prisoner, and you had heard them speak of humans as if they were nothing but silly playthings one could kill or capture as one pleased.

They weren’t human, they meant you harm, and you needed to remember that.

It was almost dark now, and you were sobbing on a patch of moss. It was dry and scratched your fingers as you held onto it. You were ready to give up. You hadn’t been able to find anything, no water, to shelter, and in the end, you had even twisted your ankle.

You weren’t a “survivor”, you had lived a way too privileged life for this to be normal for you. All those movies and books had strong women who knew how to handle themselves even in situations such as these. Now, you realize that that was an ideal you fell short of right now.

The desperation and regret over how you had ended up in this situation made your body shake violently as you cursed your ex-fiance and best friend. You blamed them. And you couldn’t stop yourself from shouting into the forest at the thought of their betrayal. “IF I EVER GET BACK HOME YOU’RE BOTH DEAD FOR THIS!”

You almost missed the chuckle coming from behind you. But the echo of your voice didn’t hide the sound of another person in the wilderness completely. You froze.

“Who’s there?” You asked weakly, “Are you… here to kill me? To take me back to that castle?”

Not receiving any response added to your frustration. It was a matter of life and death and yet, the person on the other side chose not to respond, but instead, laugh at your misery.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”

The voice scoffed, “Does that even matter at this point?”

As a man's voice pierced through the air, you were taken aback by how alluring it sounded. This unsettling realization left you feeling uneasy- you might consider going to therapy if you make it out alive. It's not ideal for one's first reaction to be finding their possible killer's voice attractive.

“I- Uhm, it matters.” You answered, a bit awkwardly.

Taehyun was a bit stunned by your shifting emotions. You were truly human, your aggressiveness and stupidity were both visible in how you spoke to him. He should kill you and have it be over with.

You squint at the shadows beneath the trees. Hoping you will get to see the man who belonged to the voice before your demise. Suddenly, the dim light hanging onto the branches in the woods reveals the man who caught up to you in just a few hours. Your jaw drops in amazement.

He was wearing only a robe, brownish gray and smooth, with specks of dark gray scattered throughout it. Seal skin, you realized and reeled back as you watched the man with eyes as dark as the deepest ocean approached you. The fur flowed with his movements, the part around his décolletage glistening from small pearls of salt and water that seemed to surround him. It was beautiful, the few rays of sun catching on the small drops all around him, making him appear as if he was nothing more than an illusion.

The scowl on his face dragged you back to your reality. He was coming for you, he had to be one of them.

“Wait!” you shouted, which miraculously made him stop in his tracks.

The fur wrapped around him had reminded you of just how you had ended up here, about your last moments in the human realm. “You’re… you’re that same seal, aren’t you?”

“Again, does it matter?” The man answered.

You frowned and swiped the back of your hand against your cheek, wiping away some of the tears that ran cold on your skin. “I told you. It matters.”

Were you irrational and stupid for not running, or were you one of those humans who used their fragility as a weapon? Taehyun couldn’t make up his mind about you just yet. He scanned you up and down, your scratched-up body still on your knees in the dry moss.

“Even if I am, don’t you think you should be running by now? You have been running all day, and yet, now that you see the one who got you here, you don’t even attempt to escape?”

Without thinking, you responded earnestly, “I don’t stand a chance anyhow. Why run?”

He considered this. He knew you were right. You were already a wreck, and it had been less than a full day since you had gone off on your own. "Then why should I bother? You speak true, your fate is sealed. The forces of nature shall ensure that humanity receives their due retribution in due time."

He turned to leave, and you panicked. You didn’t want to be left alone again. Left to die.

“Please, don’t leave me…” you said before you could stop yourself. Tears make your voice thick, sounding more like a plea than anything else.

Taehyun stopped, but he didn’t turn around. Seeing your sorry figure beg him to save your life was something he had seen enough times for an entire lifetime. The ships of people he had willed into the depths of the sea had all begged to live, and not once had he cared enough to save a single person on board. “I don’t care if you die out here.”

You knew that, but you were desperate for comfort and safety. “Hold me.”

Your voice was faint, but he heard you loud and clear.

"What?" he exclaimed, his surprise sounding genuine. He had expected begging, but certainly not a proposition that would require him to spend an entire night next to a human. He spun around to look you in the eyes.

You didn’t hold anything back anymore. You refused to die out here. Any way to survive was a good way, even if you had to agree to things you never wanted to agree to. “Hold me. Don’t go. Hold me close tonight. Let me survive the night, and I’ll go back with you without any fuss and you can hunt me again without having to put in any effort!”

“Without any fuss?”

“I’ll be super obedient.”

“Humans lie,” he said, pain now visible in his stormy eyes.

“I won’t survive if I lie.”

“No. You won’t.”

With that he sat down against the large rock beside you, his big doe eyes catching the last of the sun’s rays as he watched you come closer and crawl over to him and huddle close against his warm body. The fur that wrapped around him kept him warm in even the harshest of conditions.

You didn’t question anything, already trying your best to live up to the promise you had made. No fuss. Just survival.

Taehyun had never expected that he would wake up next to a human clinging to him like this. Let alone one that was supposed to be captured or killed by him. Instead, he watches you as you sleep, the morning sun lighting up your features.

Your body is soft, your limbs all wrapped around him as if he was someone you loved, instead of someone you should be afraid of. It made his heart beat faster, heat creeping up his face as he caught himself pushing a lock of hair behind your ear. He hated you, he hated you as much as all other humans. Just because you were one of the prettiest humans he had seen up close, he couldn’t just abandon that hatred. He quickly pulled his hand away from you and pushed you off of him. You have gotten enough sleep. He needed you both to get back to the court before the hunt.

“Let’s go,” he ordered the moment your eyes opened, a hand quickly shielding your eyes from the sharp sun that shone down through the foliage.

“What?” you asked with a hoarse voice. “Is it time for work already, baby?”

Taehyun knew you hadn’t meant him. But he couldn’t help the way his heart ached when you called him by the endearment.

Humans, always playing tricks on each other. They don’t care about anyone but themselves, and they have the guts to pretend that they feel affection towards one another through names like those.

He hated them.

And you…?

You were in a lot of pain, but you didn’t whine as much as you would have liked to as you tried to keep your promise. And your captor didn’t complain about your slow hike back through the forest more than a couple of times. Neither of you were saying much at all if you were being honest. It wasn’t until after a few hours that you had to speak up about how thirsty and hungry you were, that Taehyun did anything but look back at you to make sure you were following him closely enough. He came close to you, stormy eyes looking down at you with disdain.

“Once you humans get something, you always want more. I spared your life, so why can't you just come with me quietly?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll make it back without your help." You protested.

He watched you as he considered if he should simply leave you to die, it was always an option. But with so little time until the hunt, he would have to put even more energy into finding a new human that could participate in the games. You just needed some water, he could use some too if he was honest. And he was always honest if nothing else.

“Come on,” Taehyun said and turned around. Kneeling on the ground with his back towards you. You stood in shock, watching the back of his body as he waited for you.

“You don’t mean…” you hesitated to finish your question, what if he would kill you for even suggesting something as absurd as him carrying you, his prey, on his back?

“I don’t have all day. If you would rather walk yourself, that’s fine by me, but you better keep up.”

You carefully let your body rest against him as he rose from the ground. His body was much stronger than it might’ve looked under the thick fur that hung over his toned limbs. You felt the cold of a blade at his side, your skirt having slipped up just enough for your leg to be bare against the soft fur. It made you remember once again that he could change his mind and kill you at any moment. But he hadn’t, and you couldn’t help but be thankful for that.

He carried you for miles, over the rocky mountain ranges, and through patches of higher vegetation. The entire time your core was being pressed against his hard back. You held back your thoughts the best you could, but having your hands wrapped around his strong shoulders made it hard not to think about how long it had been since you had last felt the relief of an orgasm.

Taehyun himself had tried his very best to ignore the tiny sounds you made whenever he adjusted your position on his back. It wasn’t often he had been in a position where he heard that kind of sound coming from a woman, much less a human woman. The way it made blood rush to parts of his body he didn’t want it to, made him irrationally angry.

Before you could make up your mind on how to handle the sensation you heard the faint sound of water. Salt filled the air, but you couldn’t see the ocean anywhere.

“Are we there soon?” you asked hopefully.

“Yes,” Taehyun answered without further explanation.

Soon you could see what you had only heard, a large ocean, but no shore in sight. You two now stood on a cliff that dropped straight down to the angry sea below.

“You don’t intend to throw me off into the ocean, right?” you said as a joke, but when you got no answer, you began to get a bit worried.

He wasn't throwing you to your death this time though. “The stream over there has fresh water. You can do what you need to do there,” he said while dropping you down on your hurt foot, making you wince in pain. Reminding him yet again of how you had huffed right beside his ear for hours.

You made your way over to the wide stream, watching as it flowed from the high mountains down the barren landscape only to disappear off the side of the cliff you stood on. The freshwater from the mountaintops joined the vast sea with a rumble of thunder that echoed up the rocky walls.

In the cold but clear water, you drank until you had quenched your thirst, and began washing up. You had gotten both sweaty and dirty from running yesterday and sleeping on the ground last night. As you pulled off piece by piece of your clothing to wash every inch of your skin in the chilly water, you felt his gaze on you.

He had tried not to look, but it was hard to look away from your sensual body. The way your back curved, your legs that you oh so carefully washed clean, and when you turned a bit he could see the curve of your chest. Nipples hard from the cold, hands smoothing down the curves of your body as you got rid of any signs of your struggles from the previous day and night.

Taehyun couldn’t take his eyes off of you, his prey, basking in the sunlight, stripped down to almost nothing. If this was another trick of yours, you had succeeded, he thought bitterly. He pressed on his hardness, but it only grew as you threw on only your shirt and began walking back towards where your hunter sat. You had quickly tried to wash everything else you owned and thought that if the sun couldn’t keep you warm enough, maybe your captor could help you yet again.

Your intentions might have been less than pure, but you never actually thought the man who had seemed so indifferent to you would ever give you the pleasure you craved by now. However, you immediately spot what he’s trying to hide when you come close enough to see his tense stance. It was big. Hard, and hard to hide.

It honestly turns you on even more. You have been high on adrenaline for hours, then cuddled to sleep by one of the most ripped men you have ever seen in real life. Edged by his back, and then aroused by his gaze on your naked body. His erection was just proof that he felt the same way you did.

It might be a bad idea to sleep with your enemy, but-

Why not release some steam before you have to figure out a new way of getting out of this situation?

Taehyun seemed oblivious to your plans, too focused on the way you stood, half-naked, watching him carefully from only a couple of meters away. He couldn’t meet your eyes, but he could feel them seeing through his fur coat, noticing every involuntary twitch of his body.

When you had made up your mind you didn’t give yourself a chance to change your mind.

You went straight up to the man where he stood, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your soft body against his hardness. “Tell me if you don’t want me,” you stated before kissing his lips softly.

He returned it with fierceness. The passion of his tongue pressing into your mouth made your core ache for his touch. It didn’t matter who either of you were. It didn’t matter how you had gotten here. When he laid you down on the sun-warm grass and kissed down your body all you could think about was the pleasure he would give you.

When his tongue flicked over your hard nipples your back arched into his touch. You were a needy mess when his fingers pushed their way inside of you. Your first orgasm washed over you as you moaned into the open sky above and his hand pressed against all the parts you needed him to touch. This only seemed to spur on the fire in your hunter’s actions even more.

Caressing, more gentle than you had thought any fae capable of, and kisses, laden with the attraction you both held for one another made your mind fog up.

When you begged him to put it in, he obeyed. Giving you exactly what you asked for. You had never felt so full, and you wished that your ex could cry about how he would never be able to fill you up this good. You meet Taehyun’s thrusts with your hips each time, grinding up against him, chasing your high yet again. His moans echoed in your mind. They sounded like the most beautiful siren melody, and you were already a lost soul in the deep waters that belonged to the man who had you screaming for more even as you knew what awaited the two of you in your future.

He came on your stomach, your legs quivering as your core clenched around nothing once his length left you empty. The last thing you thought before giving in to the tiredness was that you had finally found your ticket out of this place.

Not even as he fucked you had he taken his fur off. It had to mean something.

Your eyes open but your body stays completely still. The sun was setting once again, the sun shone down on your hunter's sharp features. He held you safely in his arms, and you couldn't ignore the fact that he was truly enchanting. Your hand smoothed over the fur that was loosely wrapped around his body. You had no idea what it could mean to him, but perhaps you had been right when you recognized the pattern of the fur.

Maybe, this man was that same seal. And maybe, this fur was the only way he could shift between the two.

You remembered what you had promised. But did he truly expect you to stick to your promise even as he was bringing you back to the people who had held you captive as a prisoner for weeks? He couldn’t be that naive.

He was still asleep when you ripped the fur from his body. Leaving him bare, so gorgeous you almost regretted betraying his trust in this way as it meant you would certainly never see or feel his touch on you again. It was too late now though. You held his fur in your hand, grabbing the knife that had been attached to the garment. Taehyun woke from your movements and the knowledge that what he cared for most had been taken from him.

“Give that back,” he warned, eyes watching the knife pressed to his fur with caution. You could hear thunder in the distance.

“Send me home, and you can have it back.” You tried to steel yourself for what he would say or do in response to your actions.

It was a threat, and he had messed up by even giving you the chance to make the situation disadvantageous for him.

“I shouldn’t have expected you to be any different in the end. Always lying, always taking everything.” He thought about his own family, his parents, brothers, sisters, and cousins. All were killed by humans, hunters, and collectors. They always betrayed nature, and they were all liars who should never be trusted.

You had just proven years of hatred and suspicion true with your betrayal.

“Hand it over.”

“Not unless you promise to get me home!”

“I thought you knew that you wouldn’t survive if you chose to lie to me.”

He sounded hurt under the anger. Surprisingly, it pained you. Had you grown affectionate of the man you had been hunted, led astray, and were supposed to hate after a few gentle actions of affection from him?

You couldn’t think about it. Not now. You needed to get home.

“Send me home! I don’t want to do it, but I can’t die here!”

Taehyun’s gaze didn’t leave your grip on his fur. You didn’t know the power you held over him by holding that in your hands. If you truly destroyed it, he would be dead within a day. But telling you would only give you more power. How did you figure it out? Had his stern facade been broken down by a mere human woman?

He growled out his next words. Hating every second you were still in his sight. “Fine. give it to me, and you will go back.”

You knew it was dumb to trust him, but if his previous actions and the myth about fae not being able to lie was his true self, he would keep his promise no matter what. You lowered the knife, holding out the coat.

Your chest heaved with adrenaline. You didn’t know if you could bear meeting his dark eyes after what you had done. But it would all be worth it once you got home. Right?

Taehyun reached for his fur, snatching it out of your hand. His gaze was finally able to look at you once it was back in his possession. You looked apologetic, it disgusted him. You didn’t deserve to beg for his forgiveness, even through your eyes.

When he took a step closer, your grip around the blade you still held tightened. Would he kill you instead?

The clouds above your head draw nearer, thunder coming closer with every second that passes. You could barely hear him over the sounds of the waves below the cliff you stood on, breaking against the mountainside. You stepped back as he stepped towards you, his dark eyes keeping your attention locked on him. You didn’t even register how far he had pushed you until he put his hand on your chest, worried he might feel how hard your heartbeat was from his intimidating stare.

“I never want to see you again.” his voice barely above a whisper. With a gentle push, his hand left your skin, and your feet were no longer on solid ground. You fell down the cliffside.

Did he just push you to your death? You didn’t even scream. You simply accepted what had happened as you fell. At least, you had tried to get back home. Your body cracked through the surface of the water. But it didn’t hurt as much as you had imagined falling to your death would.

When the darkness enveloped you once again, you were convinced this was the end of your depressing life. But, if he was anything, Taehyun was honest. He would keep his promise no matter what. You found yourself resurfacing from the water onto the same shoreline you had left just a little while ago. Struggling for breath, you managed to crawl back to the safety of the land, coughing up water and feeling your lungs ache more than the rest of your body.

You had made it back from the place no one was to return from. Thanks to him.

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

#thrill of the hunt #kwritersworldnet #taehyun smut #txt smut #taehyun angst #teahyun x reader #txt imagine #kang taehyun #tubatu #tomorrow x together #fae taehyun #tomorrow x together taehyun #fae txt #tomorrow x together smut #tomorrow x together angst #tomorrow x together kang taehyun

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thehollowwriter · 1 year ago

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Summary: A short mindless fluff story in which Azul, Floyd, Jade and Finn celebrate new years together

Warnings: None, but may be slightly ooc

(Pls reblog and leave a comment ❤)

Happy New Year!

It was nearly midnight. The silence of the sea was pieced by muffled music and laughter, the typical sounds of a party, and lights lit up the dark beach in a bright glow.

The stars twinkled brightly in the clear moonlit sky, the silvery light beaming onto the sea below.

Four mers crowded around a large cluster of rocks revealed to the crisp evening air by the evening tide.

Food and drinks were carefully placed onto flatter rocks, most of it already eaten without a crumb left behind.

"It's beautiful tonight," Finn said softly, gazing briefly at the ocean before turning to focus on his partners, violet eyes gleaming intensely. "But not as beautiful of the three of you."

He leaned forward and gave each of them a gentle kiss on the lips, laughing quietly when Azul's face flushed a dark shade of blue.

The kisses were, as all benevolent acts, repaid in kind while tails and tentacles coiled and twisted lovingly around each other into an almost knot under the water.

Azul's blush was much darker, and became even more so as both twins kissed him as well, muttering to himself before returning the favour.

After a few moments, Azul pulled away with a huff, then sighed softly to himself and looked down into the water.

There was a moment of silence before he lifted his head again to find the other three looking at him curiously, waiting for him to say what was clearly on his mind.

Azul cleared his throat and let out a breath.

"This year has gone by impossibly fast," He began, staring into his partners' eyes. "It feels just yesterday we were getting ready for the new year. But, despite a few... hiccups, it was incredibly profitable. More importantly though,"

His voice and gaze softened slightly, an unplaceable emotion shining in his eyes. "My... my overblot caused me to evaluate a lot of things. One of those things was you. I don't think I appreciated you enough and... I'm so grateful to spend my years with you, and I hope we experience many more together."

Azul fell silent, unsure of what else to say. It was rare for him to be so quiet, but the feeling of his tentacles tightening around thm and his hands gripping theirs said enough.

He chewed his lip and a nervous pit formed in his stomach as the other three observed him silently for a minute or so.

"Heh." A knowing smile stretched across Floyd's face. "Love you, too 'Zul. I could spend forever with ya."

"You won't ever stop being interesting to us," Jade murmured, cupping Azul's face. "You truly are amazing."

"Don't ever forget it, love." Finn added, gently bumping their foreheads together.

"I-" Azul opened his mouth before closing it again and nodding silently with an almost relieved smile.

Their moment of tenderness was interupted by a sudden cry on the crowded beach nearby, indicating the start of the countdown.

The four shifted to observe the beach, Finn tapping each of his ears with his pen to block out the noise.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one-"

"Happy New year!" The quartet joined in, looking upwards to watch the fireworks explode across the sky in a blast of colour and light.

They all stared in awe for a few minutes, moving even closer together.

Jade broke the quiet , raising his glass with a grin and the others did the same

"To another year. Together."

-End

......................................

A/N: I hope you enjoyed not reading angst for once! I had fun writing this, though it is very short and not that good

Tagging: @distant-velleity @krenenbaker @kitwasnothere @whspermy-name @cynthinesia @the-banana-0verlord @oya-oya-okay @elysia-nsimp @twisted-wonderland-but-gayer finally some fluff for ya'll

#azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #finn clearcove #octavinelle #twisted wonderland #oc x canon #twst oc #writing

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jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka · 1 year ago

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Sorry this is so late, but Happy New Years here’s part 12! I hope you hate it as much as I do! Want to find out what’s happening? Start here in part 1.

Pairings: Sam Kiszka x Danny Wagner ***slash for 2024!

Warnings and tags: 18+ only!!!, slash ofc, sexual situations including oral (m receiving), slight masturbation, messy love triangles, lots of angst, third person POV Sam, Danny, and Jake, restaurant AU

Word count: 6k

Come on Danny pick up. Jake tried his number again when the first call eventually went to voicemail.

“Hello?” Danny answered with a slightly confused, slightly concerned tone in his voice.

“Hey, I’m sorry for calling like this”. Jake sounded a bit frantic on the other end, though whatever the matter was he still had the mind to apologize for calling out of the blue.

“No umm, it’s alright” Danny replied, looking over at Sam who was laid out on his bed, stark naked, hair still dripping wet, with an unamused look on his face. His brows were perched on the verge of an eye roll, mouthing ‘seriously’ to which Danny just shrugged. Sure it was bad timing to answer a phone call right now, but Jake never just called for nothing. “What’s up?”

“Kim is sick, she woke up this morning not feeling well. Thought she might get over it but now she’s running a high fever. We’re on our way to the hospital”.

“Oh no, Is she okay?” Surely she was fine, he’d seen her just last night. Although looking back on it she did seem a little lethargic and short fused, he hadn’t looked into it. He wished now he would have stopped and at least asked if she was alright.

Sam lost his attitude when he heard Danny’s voice turn more serious, wondering who it was he was asking about.

“She will be fine, just want to get her looked at. I’m sorry to ask, but do you think you could go in tonight to cover for her?”

Danny’s shoulders fell as he looked over at Sam again, waiting for him to give him any more clues about what was going on. “Yeah. I can do that, give me about fifteen minutes to get dressed and I’ll head over there”.

“Thanks, I owe you one”.

Danny hung up the phone and let out the long sigh he’d been holding in, then moved over to his closet to start getting ready.

“Where are you going?” Sam questioned, standing up off the bed and wrapping his arms around Danny’s waist in a feeble attempt to convince him to stay.

“Kim is sick, I’m going in to work to cover for her” he replied, pulling one of his black button ups out and tossing it onto his desk.

“Can’t anyone else go?” His arms tightened around him, pressing his now neglected erection into Danny’s hip with a purposeful whiny whimper. “What am I supposed to do about this?”

Danny’s lips pulled into a Cheshire grin. They were no longer going to get the night he envisioned, but he was not about to leave his lover high and dry.

“It will only take me five minutes to get dressed” he informed him, turning around in his arms and walking him backwards back to the bed. “Lay back down, you’ve got ten minutes to make this count”.

Sam wasn’t happy Danny had to go into work. Danny wasn’t exactly thrilled about it either, but he was at least pleased that he was trusted enough to be called in as Kim’s replacement.

Being Kim for the night proved to be a little more challenging than he’d expected though. It gave him more appreciation for her management style and how she was able to juggle helping with tables, answering a dozen and a half random questions at the drop of a hat, organizing the team and delegating tasks, all while being extra bright and friendly to the guests and staff alike.

Being the stand in dining room manager also meant he had to work side by side with the bar manager on duty tonight. Which of course was Savanna.

He didn’t expect much more than the bare minimum from her when he asked a couple of times for help, but when he got the cold shoulder the second time he decided at least having to figure it out by himself would be a learning experience.

Savanna ignoring him he understood, even felt like he deserved a little bit, but in the previous days this week Jake couldn’t seem to look him straight in the eye either. Let alone talk to him for more than a few short words here and there.

Danny wasn’t exactly sure what was getting to Jake, but he figured it must be something to do with the conversation they’d had in the garage back at his parents house. Jake was probably putting some distance between them which made sense, he only wished it didn’t feel like it had to be this way. That their friendship had to be kept within tight boundaries now otherwise toes might get stepped on.

Though all the extra time he spent with Sam was rewarding in more ways than one, he did miss hanging out with Jake. He was a cool guy, easy to be around, and he did always cook really good food when Danny came over.

Kim was the only one Danny still regularly met up with, though he figured their usual friend date this weekend would probably be canceled on account of her illness. Even then, she seemed a bit more reserved than usual during their brunches. By this point everyone in their circle knew of him and Sam dating, but still no one seemed to talk much about it very much. That made it feel even more like a dirty secret than it ever did before.

The one thing Danny wasn’t sure of was how much Jake had told Kim. Had he said anything to her about the two of them? They never really discussed what they were and were not comfortable talking about after everything all went down. Danny did prefer that only their very close friends know, if necessary at all, though he wouldn’t deny Jake his freedom to tell who he wanted his own history.

The more he thought about it, the more he considered Kim knowing everything would actually be a relief. He couldn’t exactly talk to Sam about these pent up feelings for missing Jake. No, Sam wouldn’t take that lightly. For some reason, telling Jake he missed him sounded a little too far out of line as well. Being able to talk to Kim about the mess in his head might actually help clear some things up for him.

They closed later than usual, having gotten behind during the chaos that was their dinner rush. Danny still felt good about all he did manage to accomplish tonight though, considering it was his first time closing solo without Jake or Kim guiding him.

He checked his phone for the first time in hours after climbing tiredly into his driver's seat. A few texts from Sam asking him how it was going, then about an hour later a text that said ‘guess you’re busy, goodnight’.

His heart clenched a little bit. He probably could have taken a quick break and slipped into the manager's office to text him back. If he had done that though, he might have said something in the moment about Savanna out of frustration.

Sam and her seemed to still be getting along well while at work. Danny tried not to let it bother him. He trusted Sam. Though he didn’t exactly believe she was just going to back down quietly after trying to get him back once already.

Just before he was about to start the car and head home another text came through, a text from Jake.

Thanks again for covering for Kim tonight. We got back from the hospital about a couple of hours ago. She has a really bad case of the flu but she’s medicated now and has been sleeping it off

1:03AM

He stared at the dim screen for a few minutes, debating on how to reply, before just hitting the contact and giving him a call. It rang only a couple of times before Jake answered quietly.

“Hello? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, just closed up. Wanted to call and check on you”.

Danny squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall to the window with a muffled thump of his hair against the glass. Check on you? Jesus, could he be any more obvious? Kim was the one who was sick, he should be more concerned with how she’s doing.

“Oh, yeah I’m alright. Kim tried to fight me about going to the hospital at first so I tried my best to take care of her all day. Finally got to the point where I had to put my foot down and nearly carry her to the car”. He chuckled a little bit on the other end of the phone and Danny felt immediately relieved.

Jake really cared about Kim which made him extremely grateful that two of the most important people in his life right now were finding comfort and solace in each other. Everything should've been perfect by this point, what with him and Sam and Jake and Kim being together, but Danny couldn’t deny that something still felt off.

A silence fell between them while Danny attempted to collect himself. He was tired, drained both physically and mentally, and the jumbled twist of emotions within him were finally starting to take their toll. Digging their roots deep into the seams of his skull until he could feel them starting to crack the bone apart.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Danny questioned with his temple and shoulder still slumped against the door. Jake replied with a simple hum of his own raspy tired voice. “Do you ever wish that you loved me?”

The words came rolling out before he could stop and think about rephrasing them, or maybe even keeping them locked away like many of the other trifling thoughts he’d had.

Jake didn’t seem caught up by the question though, bursting out into a cute little fit of laughter that he tried to stifle quickly. He was probably still nearby Kim and didn’t want to wake her. “What? I do love you Danny”.

Danny’s blood ran warm. Like it did when he’d had one too many drinks, or when the right pull off a joint finally hit him.

“And Josh loves you, and Kim loves you, and Sammy loves you, we all do”.

Of course Jake wouldn’t think of answering that question any other way. Danny wasn’t even sure why he’d asked it in the first place. Perhaps other than his own selfish desire to please everyone to the point that he’d started to lose exactly who he was without the constant reassurance that he was loved by others.

He forced a chuckle to attempt to match Jake’s tone, like that’s exactly what he’d meant by that question. “You’re right, thanks for reminding me”.

“Thanks for checking in. I’ll talk to you later okay?”

“Of course, goodnight Jake”.

“Goodnight Dan”.

Jake let out a shaky breath when he heard the line go silent. Danny’s question rattled him.

What was he supposed to say? No? Jake knew all too well the sting of that simple word.

What if he were to tell the truth though? He never could. Not for Sam’s sake, he was already on thin ice with his brother in regards to Danny. And certainly not for Danny’s sake.

What good would it do anyone to dredge up feelings that had been washed away. Carried out to sea like tiny grains of sand from a beach somewhere far away.

He peaked back through the crack of his bedroom door, from the hallway where he’d hurried off to answer Danny’s phone call. Kim slept soundly, no doubt in a steroid induced slumber from all the meds they’d pumped her full of at the hospital. She was dehydrated, despite all the fluids he’d tried to persuade her with before he made the decision to take her.

Despite the day he’d had Jake wasn’t quite ready to go to bed just yet, but he didn’t want to bother Kim so he left the door cracked open and went downstairs.

After boiling some water, he poured it over a random tea bag from a stash he’d found Josh had left high up in the pantry. He took a sip of the hot herbal liquid and exhaled, it was pretty good, Josh always had excellent taste.

Jake sat down on his couch and picked up the remote as he continued to sip on his tea, flipping through the list of movies on the TV until he stopped at one that looked familiar though he couldn’t remember exactly what it was about. He selected the movie and saw that he had already watched it at some point. He hit play from beginning and sat back into the couch, watching intently as the flashing images started to make sense. He had watched this movie before, well at least started it before Danny came over and they… yeah he didn’t really watch the movie.

Deciding to give it a shot this time he watched until he finished his drink, getting up to place the mug in the sink before returning to lay on the couch.

Jake stared at the TV, but his head was filled with anything but the movie. One of his arms raised up to the back of the couch and he gripped the frame, feeling and remembering the way he’d gripped so tightly onto it that evening. Before he could think about what he was doing, his other hand came to rest high on his thigh and his breath started to pick up.

He didn’t remember what had happened in the movie, but his body remembered how it had felt with Danny’s hands all over him. His throat started to feel raw again, remembering the way he’d groaned and cried ‘more, harder’. His head fell back and he closed his eyes as the hand on his thigh crept across and he started palming himself over his pants.

There was hardly any friction, and he was too exhausted to worry about actually getting himself off, but his body relaxed as his hips started to roll forward in sync with the rubbing of his hand. It felt good, not just because he was lazily touching himself, but because of the rushing memories pumping through him.

Seeing Danny while being with someone else, drunk or not, was certainly not okay and he’d been trying to rectify that ever since by distancing himself a little more than he wanted to. Letting himself remember though, there was no harm in that right? He was alone down here and he just wanted to let go. So let go he did, until the memories faded away and his body went limp as sleep took over.

When Danny got home, his room was dark and empty as he changed into something warm and comfy to sleep in. He made his way down the hallway to go to the restroom once more before bed, but stopped by Sam’s door on his way back. He’d left it open, unusual for the times when he slept in his own room.

A light was still on as well, so he peaked inside and found Sam slumped over on his desk. A textbook was open in front of him, and his cell phone was on the charger but near his hand like it had fallen out of his grip when he fell asleep.

Danny sighed, Sam really could sleep anywhere, but he couldn’t leave him like that.

“Sam, come on let’s get you in bed”. He shook his shoulder, hardly waking him up as he helped Sam stand up. When he successfully got him vertical he was able to take in the state of him, and smiled at what he saw.

Sam had gone through his closet when he left and pulled out one of Danny’s old shirts from his highschool golf team. He hadn’t seen that shirt in at least over a year, so Sam must have really dug to the back of the closet to find it. Danny wondered if he had just been bored, or if Sam had gone looking for that shirt in particular.

“Mmm, I was having a good dream” Sam mumbled as he stumbled over to his bed, swinging around out of Danny’s grasp to plop down onto the edge.

“About what?” Danny indulged him by stepping forward, though he only intended to ensure Sam successfully got into bed and under the covers.

Sam’s mischievous smirk was illuminated by the soft glow of the lamp left on at his desk. Once Danny was within close enough range he reached up and grabbed his shirt collar then fell back onto the bed sending Danny tumbling forward on top of him. Danny barely caught himself with one hand on the bed and one on Sam’s shoulder, but Sam tugged him again and connected their lips.

“Shall we pick up where we left off?” He tried to seductively suggest by wrapping his legs around Danny’s waist as he continued to attack his lips with his own.

Danny let Sam kiss him, though he didn’t return the same energy. Not only was he physically not up for the task now, but mentally he wasn’t in the right place anymore.

“You’re insatiable” he chuckled lowly when he was able to pull back, trying to mask the true turmoil he was fighting within. Sam stared up at Danny with an uneasy questioning in his eyes, his legs falling limply to either side of Danny as he gently caressed the hair at the top of Sam’s head.

Earlier Danny was sultry and demanding in his words and actions. Sam had liked it, the way he controlled the moment and all Sam had to do was play along. Now Danny was light in his touches, easy with him like Sam was some porcelain doll he could break if he pressed too hard.

“What’s the matter?”

Danny sighed, but continued his petting. He leaned down to attempt to kiss his worries away, at least for tonight, but Sam turned away letting Danny’s kiss fall on his jaw instead. He looked again, his brows furrowing and his eyes repeating his question.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really enjoyed this week together,” Danny hesitantly began, hoping that Sam wouldn’t take this the wrong way, “but I think we should slow down a bit again”.

He waited for Sam to reply, to ask more questions, anything, but all Sam did was forcibly push Danny off of him and roll over to crawl up to the head of the bed.

“Sam-”

“Get out” Sam cut him off, curling his legs towards his chest and pulling at the blanket underneath him.

“Sam, please don’t be mad at me” Danny begged, wishing now that he hadn’t said anything at all. He should have given Sam some other excuse and let this wait until morning.

“I don’t understand you Danny” Sam groaned, rubbing the leftover sleep from his eyes and face. “First you want to wait, then you don’t, and now you want to wait again? What’s changed? Is it because I said I wanted to fuck you? Did you think I was just always going to let you have it any way you wanted?”

“What? No!” Danny was stunned, did Sam really think that was a problem for him? He didn’t care about the logistics of who did what. He just wanted to make sure his mind was in the right place before they continued to get carried away with the physical side of their relationship.

Sam had said it himself at Christmas, he wished Danny would have talked to him first before they had sex. That’s what he was trying to do this time, talk to Sam about what was bothering him before trying to mask it, only he was failing horribly. What even was he trying to say? He didn’t know, but he knew he had to figure it out before he hurt anyone again.

“Didn’t you and Jake do it all the time? What’s the problem with me then?” Sam’s voice sounded his hurt which only made Danny quiver with grief.

Danny wasn’t surprised to hear Jake’s name come into question. Sam was smart, sometimes a little too smart for his own good, and he had an intuition that was incomparable to anyone else he’d ever met.

“No Sammy, there’s nothing wrong with you” he reached out to try and put a comforting hand on his knee, but Sam pulled his legs tighter to his chest. “There’s never been anything wrong with you, not ever. I'm just… a little mixed up right now”.

“Mixed up?” Sam scoffed which turned into a dark laughter as he moved to hide his face by landing his forehead on his knees. “How long have you been ‘mixed up’ exactly?”

That was a good question. Only Danny didn’t know the real answer, because there was more than one. It could have been since tonight, when he heard Jake’s voice over the phone and realized that it still made his chest uncomfortably tight. Or it could have been when he got that book in the mail that he’d given to Jake for Christmas, suddenly remembering the night he laid in Jake’s bed rummaging through his things while Jake showered. He’d thought at the time how intimate that was, being left alone in someone’s room surrounded by all their most personal belongings. He hadn’t intended to gift him the book when he’d ordered it that night, only slip it into its place alongside the others on Jake’s headboard. He had no reason to be in Jake’s bed anymore now, but he thought the book still deserved to be where it belonged. With who it belonged to.

“Okay then” Sam shakily exhaled, finally pulling the blankets up over his body and sliding down. “I want to go back to sleep now. I think it’s best we stay in our own beds until you’re not ‘mixed up’ any more”.

Sam’s words stung but he was right, so Danny didn’t contest. Instead he just leaned over and left him with a kiss to his crown and quietly left, turning out the light on his way.

When Sam heard the click of his door closing behind Danny he let out a hard choked sob.

Fucking Jake. He always got in the way. First with whatever his vendetta was against Savanna, and now Sam was afraid he might have stolen Danny away.

“You’ve gotten your flights already?” Danny questioned as he watched Sam start packing his bags for his trip in the next few days.

Since learningthat Sam was going to LA after graduation, they had talked about it only a handful of times. Though he had already given his answer to their offer, Sam wanted to visit once to get the lay of the land before really preparing to move.

Danny was going to go with him, but recently they had been trying to spend some time apart, so they decided Sam going alone was for the better.

Spending time apart didn’t mean completely abstaining from each other though. Sam still slept in Danny’s room a couple of times, yet cuddling and kissing had been the extent of their activities.

“Yeah, I have an early morning flight. Tomorrow night I’ll sleep in here so I won’t bother you when I get up”.

Danny stood up from where he had taken a seat at Sam’s desk and moved behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and rested his chin on Sam’s shoulder. “You won’t leave without saying goodbye to me though will you?”

“We could say our goodbyes tonight if you wanted?” Sam suggested, letting his body lean fully against the weight of Danny on his back.

Danny nuzzled his nose behind the shell of Sam’s ear, breathing in his natural scent and letting the endorphins take him over. After the intoxicating smell, he decided he needed a little taste, so he pulled Sam’s lobe between his teeth and gave it a little nibble.

Sam let out a whimper, his body shaking slightly underneath Danny’s hovering form, and he twisted around in his grip so they could face each other. His arms came up to circle around Danny’s shoulders, and he pulled him down into a heated kiss, quickly parting Danny’s lips with his own and slipping his tongue inside for a taste of his own.

“You want to?” Danny asked just above a whisper, not letting their lips separate for long. Things still weren’t settled between them, but he couldn’t silence the desperation in the way his body talked, especially when Sam’s was sending him so many signals.

He felt Sam nod and tighten his grip, again answering without his words. “Do you want to go to my bedroom? Or stay in here?” Danny looked past Sam’s shoulder at the mess of clothes and bags sprawled out on his bed. He didn’t want to interrupt his packing but Sam didn’t seem to mind. He blindly reached behind himself and swiped his hand across the sheets, sending all his belongings tumbling onto the floor in an arrangement of soft and loud thuds, before sitting down and taking Danny along with him.

Here they were again, Sam was underneath Danny and he was bucking his hips upwards, trying to get any friction he could, as fast as he could before they could back track. He held Danny close by the collar of his shirt, and when Danny’s hands circled around his wrists to pull them off, he halted his movements and started up at him with the fear of being rejected again.

Danny’s expression didn’t read rejection this time though, no the fierceness had returned. The blacks of his eyes had blown wide, leaving only a small halo of mossy green behind and he peeled his shirt off before returning to kissing Sam.

Sam closed his eyes and let the fiery feeling sink into his skin and settle into the pit of his stomach as Danny trailed his kisses down to his neck. He wondered if Danny would leave any new marks on him where all the others had already faded.

“Want… Jake…” he heard Danny’s voice muffled against his shoulder, causing his eyes to snap open and his blood to run cold.

“What did you just say?”

Danny pulled back, unphased, and repeated what he’d said. “Want to take this off” he tugged at the collar of Sam’s shirt. “Can I?”

“Oh, yeah” Sam tried to steady his heart beat as he lifted his shoulders and helped Danny pull his shirt off.

“What did you think I said?” Danny chuckled, unaware of the mini heart attack he’d just given him.

“Nothing, nothing at all” Sam replied, wrapping his arms back around him and trying to keep going.

Danny let his hands trail down Sam’s torso, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps now that Sam was cold and still shaking.

Danny thought he was just really into it, which only urged him to do more. He kissed his chest, then his naval, then hovered above his groin as his fingers played with the waistband of his sweats. If there was anything he could do to make up for the last time, he knew this would be it.

Sam bit his lip and lifted his hips as Danny started to pull his pants down.

“…Jake… so good”.

“What?” Sam snapped again. Why the fuck did he keep hearing Jake’s name out of Danny’s mouth? And when it was so close to his faltering erection?

“I said”, Danny kissed his member over his underwear next, letting his hot breath linger there, “gonna make you feel so good”.

Sam reached down and pulled his last piece of clothing off, making Danny chuckle again at his impatience. “No more talking” Sam demanded, weaving his fingers through Danny’s hair and pushing him down.

Danny gladly took him in, bobbing his head up and down eager to please. Sam stared up at the ceiling, digging his fingernails into Danny’s scalp with each downward movement, trying to keep his concentration as best he could now that he’d been rattled a few times.

He attempted to close his eyes again, but when he did he pictured Danny on his knees in front of someone with long brown hair. At first he thought maybe he was picturing himself, but then they turned around and of course it was Jake.

“Goddammit!” Sam yelled, starting Danny off him.

“What? Did I hurt you?” Danny started to panic. He wasn’t sure what he’d done, but he’d been so focused on trying to do a good job he might not have noticed if he nicked him with his teeth or something.

“I’m sorry, I thought I could do this but I can’t”. Sam stood up off the bed and snatched his sweatpants up from off the floor, hurriedly stuffing his legs back into them and covering himself. He suddenly felt very exposed.

“Sam, talk to me, what’s the matter?”

Sam raked his fingers through his hair and shook his head, trying to get the images he’d been repressing over the past few days out of his head. “Every time I’m with you like this I can’t stop thinking about you and my brother! At first I thought it was a one time thing, but it just keeps happening, and it’s getting worse”. His voice came out louder than he’d intended, but he really was tired of this, tired of it all.

He thought maybe if he could get through one time, then go on his trip and let himself start to miss Danny, then he’d come home and things might just start to finally fall into place.

Danny stared at him blankly, which only pissed him off even more. “Why would you think of that?” He babbled dumfoundly, though in the back of his mind Danny knew the reasoning was obvious.

“I don’t know Daniel, maybe if…” he started to trail off, thinking finishing this thought out loud might do more harm than it would any good.

“Maybe what?” Danny pushed on, starting to get a little worked up himself. He couldn’t keep going around in circles like this, they had to hash this out now before they both started losing their minds.

“Maybe if you had said something sooner, before you and Jake ever… I mean if I’d had just known sooner then maybe things would be different”. His thoughts were coming out in a jumbled mess, but Danny was getting the gist of it. Sam tried to come to grips with the fact that he and Jake had been intimate many times before, but the truth was he hated it.

He hated that Danny felt like he couldn’t confess to him sooner, but somehow Jake was easy enough to open up to without all the extra fuss and complication that their whirlwind relationship had accumulated over the past few months.

He hated that he felt like maybe his brother would be a better lover than he ever could be.

“How was I supposed to tell you when you were with Savanna? You have nothing to lose with this Sam. You think if you went crawling back to her right now she wouldn’t take you back?”

“You think if you went to Jake he wouldn’t take you back?” Sam's voice was filled with venom now, biting at Danny for insinuating that he was the only one who had nothing to lose. Sam being afraid of losing Danny was the whole reason they’d gotten swept up like this together in the first place. He promised to give this a chance, see how far they could go together, but he was starting to think that the true beauty in their relationship lied in the way it was before.

He didn’t want to hurt Danny, and he could never hate him; Sam simply wasn’t capable of actually hating anybody. He just missed the effortlessness of their friendship.

“So what does this mean then?” Danny questioned after a moment of silence. They were in a standoff, standing in the middle of a shaky wooden bridge over a never ending gorge with their only options being pushing forward and hoping the fraying ropes wouldn’t snap, or going back to where they knew it was safe.

“I think you know what this means”. Sam couldn’t look him in the eye, couldn’t bring himself to see the way his words tore through Danny like he was ripping pages right out of a book. Pages that didn’t belong anymore, at least not in this story.

Sam wanted a break, a chance to get away and figure things out on his own without the constant pressure of others. Taking this trip now was probably the best thing that could happen for them. Sam would go away for a few days and when he got back hopefully they could sort this out once and for all.

“I understand Sam” Danny replied dejectedly, but at least there was no more anger in his tone. He couldn’t be angry at Sam, not when the both of them had made the choices that led them here.

He thought back to a comment Jake had made a while ago-

“Danny, you don’t regret anything we’ve done do you?”

The thing was, even with this outcome, Danny still didn’t regret anything. Because all the things he’d learned about himself along the way, and the confidence he grew, were what made him capable of even attempting this with Sam. If he had said anything sooner, he wasn’t sure he would have been ready to face everything they had and things could have ended up a lot worse.

“I’m going to go, let you finish packing up. I’ll see you in the morning, ok?”

“I’m sorry Daniel” Sam’s lips quivered as he spoke. Danny was holding himself together better than he’d expected he would, and he knew that was a good thing, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t sorry.

“Don’t be,” Danny stood and placed his hands lightly on each of Sam’s shoulders mustering up the best half smile he could manage before giving him a feather light kiss on the cheek. “I still love you, I always will”.

Sam nodded and sniffled a little, wiping the corner of his eye before the tear could even fall. Danny was being strong for him, he knew he was, so he had to reel it in too. The thing was, he wasn’t crumbling because he thought this would be the end of them. He was letting it all out because he knew it was the right decision.

The next day Danny tiptoed around Sam, wanting to still spend time with him before he left, but not wanting to overstep any new boundaries he knew they’d have to establish eventually.

The day seemed to drag on, but at the same time he felt like after he cried himself to sleep that night, when his eyes finally did shut, they were open again the next morning and Sam was gone.

Now that he had the space to himself he knew he could begin to collapse. He could open the floodgates and let the rush of emotions he kept damned up sweep through him until every nerve in his body had eroded away.

Something told him if he let that happen though, he might not be able to plug it back up when Sam returned, so instead he looked for distractions.

The first distraction was cleaning, but the problem was he and Sam were actually pretty tidy people to begin with, so there wasn’t much for him to do there.

The second distraction was work. He’d picked up an extra shift knowing he was going to be antsy and in a bad mood while Sam was gone. He realized though that the monotony of doing the same thing he always did, taking orders, tidying up the dining room when he had the chance, and stocking menus and utensils didn’t help keep his mind from telling him over and over again that he wasn’t good enough.

By the time his shift was finally over he was ready to bolt out the door, but he was dreading going back to an empty home. So instead Danny drove around for a while, thinking he could head to the library and maybe studying would keep him distracted, but he didn’t want to run into any classmates while he was in this state.

Eventually his car came to a stop on a familiar street and he waited outside, debating on if he should even attempt walking up to the door.

Danny held his breath as he knocked. There wasn’t an answer right away, but his car was also parked outside so Danny was pretty sure he was home. He jumped a little at the sound of the door unlocking, forcing him to breathe again as Jake opened the door.

“Hey, what's up?” Jake asked, surprised to see Danny at his doorstep unannounced. He took one good look at Danny and immediately knew something was wrong. “Wait, are you alright?”

Danny opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was an incoherent jumble of “Sam… gone… broke up” as tears started to well up again.

Jake threw his arms around Danny and tried to console him and he drug him inside, shutting the door behind them with a kick of his bare foot.

He sat Danny down on his couch and crouched down in front of him, waiting patiently as he caressed one of Danny’s hands until the tears started to run out.

Once Danny was done he moved to sit next to him, not letting his hand go and sympathetically asked him,

“Tell me what happened”.

@alwaysonthemend @psychedelicstardust-gvf @twistedmelodies @heckingfrick

#greta van fleet #greta van fic #greta van smut #danny wagner #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #gvf #sanny gvf #janny gvf

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amplifyme · 8 months ago

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15 Questions Tag Game

I was tagged by @randomfoggytiger. Thanks for always including me! ❤️

Were you named after anyone? My middle name is Beth. It was supposed to be Elizabeth, after my great-grandmother. But the OB/GYN who delivered me (and all 4 of my elder siblings) decided Lydia Beth rolled off the tongue more smoothly then Lydia Elizabeth, so that's what he put on the birth certificate. True story, hand to god. I think he was right. The original is quite a mouthful.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Tonight. I just finished up the 1994 TV mini-series of Stephen King's "The Stand" - only my favorite book ever. Haven't watched it in probably 15 years and I cried like a baby several times. The cast is 99% pure perfection. The only thing I'd change would be the casting of Molly Ringwald as Frannie. Just... no. I understand why they chose her (she was pretty popular back then), but she was completely wrong for the part and very cringey throughout. OTOH, Gary Sinise will always be my perfect Stu Redman.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Nope. Though not by choice. I wanted to have children, once upon a time. It just never worked out. But I'm okay with that now. Everything happens for a reason.

WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY? I used to love playing volleyball and basketball when I was a kid. Then I got hit by a car at 12, jacked up my left knee almost beyond repair, and followed that up with 3 subsequent surgeries and arthritis by the time I hit 18. No more playing sports for this kid.

DO YOU USE SARCASM? Me?? Never. 😜

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes. The windows to the soul, you know. Also body language. I don't think most folks realize how much they reveal simply by the way they hold their bodies.

WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Greeny-blue.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

ANY TALENTS? I think I'm pretty good at stringing words together in a way some people enjoy. I can organize like nobody's business. I bake great bread - or at least I used to. Haven't done that for years. I can also whip together something tasty with not much effort.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? About 12 miles south of where I live now. Out on the flatlands of Illinois, corn and soybean country. Mid-state, central region.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? Writing, when the muse is amenable, which isn't often enough for me. Going on 7 months of my most current writer's block. *sigh* Reading. Hanging out in parks and forests preserves with a book and a camera. Bingeing on new shows or old favorites. Solving all the world's problem as I fall asleep. You know, the usual. 🤷🏻‍♀️

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Levon the Cat, who'll turn 18 this year. It's gonna be really hard to say good-bye. I think he'll probably be my last four-legged roommate. It's too hard to see them go, and I've done it too much now.

HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5' 1" and some small fraction over that. I'm shrinking as I get older.

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English, history, and composition.

DREAM JOB? Small animal rescue for a no-kill shelter. Gimme all the dogs and cats. That, or working to help women and men escape domestic abuse safely. Been there, done that. The hardest part is deciding to leave. I'd like to use my own experience to help others escape the cycle.

Tagging anyone who'd like to play 'cuz I'm up past my bedtime and really tired.

#15 questions tag game #about me

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amhrosina · 2 years ago

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Holidate (Frank Castle x fem! Reader)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST

A/N: Hi hi hi! Writing this was wild and took over my social life for a second there. This hasn’t been beta read, or edited yet (lmfao), but it’s 13k words and I’m very proud of it. Please enjoy! (Matt Murdock next????)

Summary: Holidate – a prearranged fake date that you can bring to family holiday events to avoid awkward conversations about your love life.

When reader realizes she’s the last single person in her family, a run-in with an old acquaintance sparks a genius idea that could get her family off her back once and for all.

(Warnings: slow burn, pining, fake dating, brief description of a severe injury (it’s in the fourth of july section), cursing, eventual smut (p in v, oral (fem receiving)), no use of y/n, wholesome family content, Frank in a bunny suit, let me know if I missed any bc it’s 1:30am and I'm tired lmfao

New Year’s Eve:

The bass of the club speakers pounded in your skull, sparking a fresh wave of annoyance within you. This was not how tonight was supposed to go. You were supposed to be somewhere nice, celebrating the new year with your loving and loyal boyfriend of four years, Ben. But Ben was an asshole who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants long enough to realize he had butt dialed you while he was knee deep in “the best pussy he’s ever had”.

You rolled your eyes at the memory. You weren’t even that upset about it – Ben had become a dull and predictable aspect of your daily routine. The spark that had ignited your affection for him had died out months before you found out he was cheating. It was a brutal wake-up call, though.

Your life, you realized, had become entirely too comfortable, which limited your ability to grow as a human being. The few weeks without Ben leading up to New Year’s Eve had taught you a lot about yourself, but you couldn’t help feeling a little lonely when you looked around and saw happy couples everywhere.

Your sister was happily married to her high school sweetheart. Your mom and dad were disgustingly in love with each other, even after almost 30 years together. And your idiot baby brother had chosen tonight at dinner to announce his engagement to Kim, his girlfriend of 3 months.

After the obligatory congratulatory toasts, your mother’s attention had fallen on you. You had tried so hard to get out of the room before she could open her mouth, but your mom had spent enough time with you to know your tricks and had managed to corner you by the bathroom.

“Sweetie, I want to introduce you to someone. My OB/GYN has a new set of interns, and one of them is very cute.”

“You’re worried about my,” you paused for effect, “vaginal health, Mom?”

“No, of course not, though you should probably get it checked out after the whole Ben fiasco. I don’t even want to think about where he put his pe-”

“Okay, thanks for that, Mom. Really. I just have to pee now.” You slid against the wall until you could grab the doorknob and slip into the bathroom, effectively shutting the door in your mom’s face. You had hidden yourself in the bathroom for 15 full minutes before finally facing your family again. Then, Sammy had the bright idea to take all the siblings out clubbing to celebrate his engagement.

That’s how you ended up here, surrounded by sweaty, drunk partygoers who apparently had so much to celebrate. It was 10 minutes to midnight, and you were doing everything in your power to make it to the exit before you had to be surrounded by sweaty, drunk, kissing partygoers.

The club was so packed you had barely made it five feet before you gave up your efforts, deciding to chug the rest of your drink when the clock struck midnight as your midnight kiss. You watched the dance floor from your vantage point on second floor balcony. An overwhelming presence next to you had your back stiffening.

You turned, ready to tell the guy off, but you lost your voice somewhere between “Fuck off, buddy” and “Not interested”. You definitely knew the guy from somewhere, but you couldn’t put your finger on where that might be. His size was intimidating, and you could tell he was absolutely ripped, but his eyes weren’t those of a drunk asshole. In fact, the look on his face told you he recognized you from somewhere, too.

“Do we know each other?” You had to yell over the music for him to hear you.

“You don’t remember me?” He was smiling, and you knew that smile, but you couldn’t put your finger on how you knew it. You studied his face, trying to remember. Dark hair and eyes, strong eyebrows, and a big nose.

“Oh!” You exclaimed suddenly, “You’re Eagle!”

His eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“You were the TA for my Psych class, right? Like six years ago? Frank, right?” You grinned at him.

“You do remember!” He smiled wide for a second, but quickly furrowed his eyebrows in confusion again. “What did you call me? Eagle?”

“Oh god,” you groaned, running your hand over your face. “We used to call you that. The girls in the class, I mean. You know what they say about men with big noses?”

Frank let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back.

“I didn’t think anyone in those classes even knew I existed. That was the easiest job I’ve ever had. The professor wouldn’t let me do anything, and I still got paid.”

“So, I don’t have you to thank for the A, then?”

“Sorry, I guess you did that on your own.” He shrugged, sipping his drink and smiling. “Did you come with someone? Where’s your date?”

You raised your cup to your mouth, gulping down a mouthful of alcohol in response.

Frank chuckled and nodded. “Ah, I see.”

The clock began chiming, starting the 60 second countdown to the new year.

“Where’s your date?”

Frank smiled and gulped down the rest of his drink, copying the response you had given him. You raised your glass, and he clinked his against yours in solidarity.

When the countdown got to 10, you awkwardly shuffled back and forth on your feet. The couples around you were gravitating towards each other, grabbing each other’s hands and holding their drinks up in the air. You and Frank watched as the clock hit 0, silver and gold confetti floating down from the ceiling and coating the kissing couples on the dance floor.

Your brother seemingly appeared out of nowhere, tugging his fiancé behind him. “Hey! We’re going!”

You nodded, turning to Frank. “I have to...” you trailed off, pointing towards your brother with your thumb, “but it was nice to see you again. Happy New Year, Frank.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” He grinned, nodding.

You waved at him as you walked towards the exit, wondering if you’d ever see him again. Fortunately for you, you didn’t have to wonder for long.

A few days later, you parked your car in the mall parking lot, sighing as your mother continued her rant from the passenger seat.

“All I’m saying, sweetie, is that you should get out more. When’s the last time you left the house besides New Year’s Eve? What about one of those dating apps?”

“I don’t want to date anyone right now, Mom. I’m trying to find myself, you know?”

She scoffed. “Oh, please.”

You followed her into the mall, clutching the items you had bought for Ben before the untimely death of your relationship. Your one and only plan for the rest of your week off work was to return the gifts, but your mother had insisted on going with you, claiming she had some shopping to do. You couldn’t imagine what she could possibly need this soon after Christmas, but you didn’t want to argue with her about it.

It took forever, but you were finally at the last store you needed to make a return at. It would’ve been an easy in and out if your mom hadn’t stopped to look at every single sweater in the store. The sound of your name being called perked you out of your thoughts.

“When I said see you around, I didn’t realize it would be this soon after.”

Frank walked towards you, clutching a return receipt in his hand. You waved your receipt back at him.

“You didn’t like a gift?” You asked, eyeing the receipt.

“Oh, uh,” Frank scratched the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly, “No. I bought it for someone, but it didn’t end up working out.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Wow. Same. I think we may have more in common than I thought. Same girl that left you alone on New Year's?”

“The one and only.” He chuckled, shuffling his feet.

The sound of your mother’s voice so close to your ear startled you. You hadn’t noticed her standing next to you.

“Who’s this?”

She had a devious smile on her face, and it took everything in you not to outwardly groan.

“This is Frank. He was my-” Frank cut you off, reaching forward to shake your mom’s hand.

“Friend in college. Nice to meet you. We were just talking about regrettable Christmas gifts.”

“Oh!” Your mom eagerly shook his hand, sending you a wink over her shoulder. “Well, I’ve been trying to tell her she needs to get out more. You know, her boyfriend ch-”

“I don’t think he’s interested in hearing about my love life, Mom.” This conversation derailed far too quickly for your liking.

“Honey, I’m just trying to help. Frank is very handsome.”

You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks. You probably resembled a tomato more than a human being.

“Thank you, Mom. Very helpful.” You gritted through your teeth. Your mother was nothing if not sneaky. She sent you a smirk and turned back to Frank.

“It was lovely to meet you, Frank. I hope I’ll be getting to see more of you soon.”

You gaped at her as she made her way back towards the cashmere sweaters, dreading having to look back at Frank. When you finally faced him, he was clearly trying hard not to laugh in your face.

“I’m sorry,” You groaned, running your hand through your hair, “My mom can be very forward.”

Frank let out a chuckle, shaking his head. “It’s okay. It sounds like she just wants you to be happy.”

“She has an interesting way of showing it. I mean, being single on holidays isn’t that pathetic, right? Plenty of people are single. Like Emma Watson! She’s been single since forever and she’s thriving! Oh god, you probably don’t want to hear this either. I’m sorry. I ramble when I get nervous.”

You regretted ever getting out of bed this morning. This was turning out to be the most embarrassing day of your life, and it wasn’t even 10am yet.

Frank’s face had turned thoughtful. You were a little afraid to ask him what he was thinking about.

“I have an idea,” he finally said, glancing between you and your mom, who was holding up a blue sweater and talking to an employee.

“Okay?” You cocked your head to the side.

“What if we dated?” Your eyes grew wide, “Just for the holidays, I mean. We show up together at events or parties and it keeps the questions at bay. Like a, um-”

Frank searched for the right word, and you couldn’t help the word that came out of your mouth.

“A holidate?”

Frank snapped his fingers and pointed at you. “Exactly. A holidate. It’ll get your family off your back for a little bit, and you won’t have to worry about being single. For the day, at least.”

You didn’t say anything for a long time, trying to fully comprehend what he was offering.

“What’s in it for you?”

“Same as you.” He shrugged. “My family’s like yours.”

“And it’s just for the holidays?”

“Mhmm.”

“What about the smaller holidays? Like 4th of July.”

“I’m fine with whatever you want to do about those.”

“What if one of us meets someone we like?”

“Then our problems are solved, right?”

You studied him for a moment, weighing the idea in your head. You stole a glance at your mother, who was now standing out of Frank’s direct eyeline and smiling at you and Frank.

You turned back to Frank, holding out your hand.

“Deal.”

The smile he gave you as he shook your hand sent a shiver down your spine.

Valentine's Day:

“Frank, you are not getting my mother flowers. She’s never going to let you leave.”

“I can’t show up to dinner to officially meet your family without bringing something. My mom raised me better than that.”

You were currently standing in the flower section of Kroger, picking out flowers to get your parents for their anniversary. Every year, they hosted a family dinner on Valentine’s Day to celebrate their marriage and the family that came out of it. This was officially your first go at this holidate thing, and Frank kept insisting that he had to bring flowers.

“If you absolutely have to get flowers, don’t get red roses. My dad called dibs on those 30 years ago.”

Frank grinned at your compromise and picked up the bouquet of tulips he had been eyeing. You had to give it to your mom, Frank was handsome, but the holidate deal was strictly platonic, so you turned and headed for the checkout lane.

When Frank caught up with you, he was holding not one, but two bouquets. The tulips he had picked out for your mom were bright yellow. The other bouquet had a dozen red roses in it, and it had been carefully wrapped in expensive-looking brown paper.

“Who are those for?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Well, I can’t get my holidate’s mother flowers and not buy my holidate flowers too. That’s just unclassy.”

You followed him in stunned silence. You hadn’t been expecting that.

When you finally arrived at your parents' house, you were nervously applying and reapplying your lipstick in the passenger side mirror. You didn’t know how your family was going to react to Frank. Obviously, your mom would be pleased, but you didn’t want to sit under your sister’s scrutiny for too long. If anyone was going to figure out what you were doing, it would be her.

“You’re nervous.” Frank pointed out, watching you from the driver’s seat. “Why?”

“I’m not nervous.” You scoffed, ignoring how easily he just read your body language.

“Yes, you are, but you shouldn’t be. I’m the perfect gentleman. Parents love me. You’ll see.”

He smiled at you and jumped out of the car, running around to open your door for you.

“See? Gentleman.”

You led Frank around to the side door, hoping for a subtle entrance. This plan was almost immediately foiled when your mom busted through the door, Cheshire grin planted on her face.

“Frank! It’s so good to see you!” She brushed past your open arms, pulling Frank into a hug.

“Hello, ma’am. These are for you.” He held out the tulips, smiling.

“Oh, you.” She muttered, taking the flowers from him. She rushed through the door, calling out to your dad.

“I think it’s safe to say that I've won over your mom.” He chuckled. “You ready?” He held out his hand in question.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You sighed, intertwining your fingers in his.

Dinner was as dramatic as you expected it to be. Your dad had kept up the “tough” act for a whole 30 seconds before Frank managed to win him over. All it took was a subtle nod to your dad’s “impeccable grill set-up" for your dad to shake Frank’s hand and ask him for help grilling the steaks.

Speaking of grilling, as soon as Frank had exited the back door into your backyard, your sister immediately pulled you aside, demanding to know anything and everything about Frank. You kept your answers short but put enough detail into your responses that it seemed to win her over. Your brother had waved at Frank when you introduced him, and that was the end of that interaction. If only the rest of your family could be as relaxed as your brother was about the men in your life.

When everyone sat down for dinner, your dad gave a long-winded speech about love and had everyone toast to your mom, who never failed to cry before dinner was served every year. Frank mixed in well with your family, holding conversations on his own with everyone at some point.

The dramatics really amped up during dessert when your sister announced she was pregnant with her second baby. The room filled with gasps and excited squeals, mostly from your mom, and you watched as your mom wrapped her arms around your sister, teary eyed and smiling wide.

When everyone had finished saying their congratulations and gathered in the living room for the annual “anniversary slideshow”, you settled against the back wall, content to observe the tradition from afar. Your mom snuck up beside you, pointed look on her face.

“Don’t say it, Mom.” You mumbled, resting your head on the wall.

“I wasn’t going to say anything!” She insisted, raising her eyebrows.

“You were about to point out your lack of grandchildren from me, and I’m asking you to drop it, please.”

“Oh, fine.” She joined your dad on the couch, snuggling into his side and pressing play.

Your brother and his fiancé were also snuggling, whispering into each other’s ears and quietly giggling. It was sickeningly cute. Your brother-in-law was slowly rubbing your sister’s stomach, even though she wasn’t anywhere near showing yet. It was all annoyingly cute, and you sighed, wishing you could be anywhere else in the world.

Frank sidled up beside you, bumping your shoulder with his. He was incredibly warm, and you couldn’t help but lean a little closer to him. You told yourself it was just because your parents kept the house cooler in the winter to save money.

“What are you doing all the way over here?” He asked, lips so close to your ear that you couldn’t ignore the shiver racing down your spine.

“I’m just standing.” You responded nonchalantly, pretending to be engrossed by the pictures on the screen.

“Yes, but why are you so far away from everyone?”

You didn’t respond, finally turning your head to look at him. His face was inches away from yours. You blinked, looking between his eyes. He was fully concentrated on you, and it was making you squirm. He was an expert at focusing his attention fully on the person he was talking to. This was something you had noticed about Frank before, but it never failed to affect you.

“Do you want to go?” His voice was soft, full of concern.

“Yes.” You breathed, trying not to look at his lips.

“Okay. I’ll cause a distraction. You bolt out of the house, and I’ll meet you in the getaway car out front. But grab some of that pie on your way out.”

He was smiling, obviously just saying something to make you laugh. You tried to stop the wide grin from forming on your lips, but when he was smiling at you like this, it was impossible not to match it. He was getting too good at reading you.

“But seriously,” he started, still smiling, “I’ll say my friend accidentally cut his finger trying to seduce his Valentine’s date with a meal or something.”

Frank did exactly that, and he handled it with such grace and confidence that even you caught yourself believing him for a moment. When he closed the car door behind you and began to walk around to the other side of the car, you studied him.

There had to be something you were missing. This guy, who was seemingly full of green flags, was having the same relationship troubles as you? It didn’t make any sense. There had to be something seriously wrong with him. Otherwise, there’s no way in hell anyone would let him slip through their fingers.

When he climbed in the car, he looked at you expectantly. “Where to, Miss Daisy?”

“Want to get ice cream?” You asked, mouth watering at the thought.

“What Miss Daisy wants, Miss Daisy gets.” He chuckled at his own joke, pulling away from the curb. The silence with Frank was comfortable, and you found yourself more relaxed than you had been in months.

When you walked into the ice cream shop, you immediately regretted every decision you had ever made. You stopped mid-stride, and Frank very nearly ran into you trying to stop himself behind you.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, scoping out the store. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but then again, to any normal person, it would seem like that.

But you were focused on the couple sitting in the back of the parlor, sharing a bowl of ice cream. It was Ben, and he was spoon feeding ice cream to the girl he had cheated on you with. Frank narrowed his eyes at them, trying to put the pieces together.

“I suddenly don’t have an appetite for ice cream,” you mumbled, turning back to walk out the door. Frank’s brow was furrowed, and the expression on his face read as pure confusion, but he followed you through the door without question.

You had almost made it to Frank’s car when you heard your name being shouted behind you. Ben was slightly jogging to catch up with you, and you made a show of rolling your eyes.

“Hey! Wait!” Ben called, waving his arm.

Frank’s posture stiffened beside you, and you could feel the warmth radiating from him as he lightly pulled your waist closer to his side. Another shiver slid down your spine. You were going to have to get rid of that side effect as soon as possible.

“Hey, I just saw you leave the shop. I wanted to see how you were doing after, you know.” Ben was slightly panting. He eyed Frank’s hold on your waist, standing a little taller than before.

“I’m fine, Ben. Thanks. Bye.” You responded, looking anywhere but his face. You were not going to cry in front of Frank, and you certainly wouldn’t be giving Ben the satisfaction of an emotional breakdown at his expense.

“Who’s this?” he asked, finally acknowledging Frank.

“Frank, this is my loser ex-boyfriend. Loser ex-boyfriend, this is Frank. Are we good? Can we go now?” You asked, losing your patience.

Frank stiffened, a signal that told you he had caught on to the situation. His hand crept across your waist and settled on your stomach, pulling you fully against his front. His movement was slow, barely noticeable to anyone else, but the trail Frank’s hand left behind would be burned into your memory forever.

Ben looked between your face and Frank’s, scoffing.

“Oh, I see. He’s the rebound.” Ben nodded to himself.

Anger coated your tongue. You opened your mouth, ready to scream, when Frank’s voice cut you off.

“Buddy, why don’t you fuck off, okay? She’s clearly not interested in having this conversation with you.”

“Okay, buddy.” Ben responded, putting his hands on his hips. “I don’t think this is any of your business.”

“You made it my business when you upset her.” Frank’s deep voice reverberated through your chest. “We’re going.” He opened the car door, guiding you into the seat with a gentle push from the hand on your waist.

He didn’t have to tell you twice. You eagerly climbed in, squeezing the seatbelt as you buckled it. Frank joined you seconds later, starting the car and carefully pulling out of the spot. Your eyes didn’t leave your lap until the car was safely on the road again.

“Are you okay? God, that guy’s such an asshole. Sorry about the ice cream.” Frank gripped the steering wheel with one hand, resting his other arm on the windowsill and running his hand through his hair.

“I’m fine.” Your voice was meek compared to Frank’s deep one.

“You’re not, but that’s okay. You’re allowed to be upset.”

You stayed silent, counting the streetlights as you drove past them. Frank didn’t pry. He put the radio on a low volume and quietly hummed along to the Sum-41 song playing. After a while, he turned into a gas station parking lot, pulling into one of the spots in front of the store. You looked around, confused.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back. Lock the door.” He moved to get out of the car, but stopped when you made a noise of discontent, raising your hands in the air in question.

“Wait! What are you doing?” You asked, exasperated.

“I promised you ice cream, didn’t I?” He smiled, climbing out of the car. Your fingers fell along the arm rest, pressing the lock button. You couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face as you watched him walk away from the car.

Easter:

Easter was a holiday that you hadn’t celebrated until you were a few years into your adulthood. Your parents didn’t press religion onto you or your siblings when you were growing up, but your sister had married into a somewhat religious family, so the annual Easter egg hunt they hosted had become a regular part of your Easter plans.

When you called him, Frank had insisted that his family could spend the day without him. You hadn’t spoken to him much since Valentine’s Day, but you smiled when he immediately said he’d be there, holidate ready.

He showed up, sporting a button-down shirt and slacks. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, and he had let his hair grow out a little. You tried not to stare as he opened the car door for you, ever the gentleman.

“Have you been okay?” he asked, lightly tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing on the radio.

“Actually, yes.” For the first time in months, you didn’t have to lie when someone asked you that question. Ben was a memory you had all but forgotten about.

“That’s great. I'm glad you called. My family was trying to force me into dressing up like the Easter Bunny for my nieces and nephews.” He shuddered at the thought.

Your head whipped around. “You have siblings?” you asked, genuinely surprised. He had never mentioned them before.

“I have a brother and a sister, like you. They both have a million kids. I love them, but they couldn’t pay me enough to dress up in a giant, fuzzy bunny costume.”

You threw your head back against the headrest, laughing loudly.

“You never told me that!”

“You never asked.” He responded, raising an eyebrow at you and smiling.

“Hmmm. Let’s change that.”

You spent the drive asking him every question you could think of. His favorite color was purple, even though he didn’t own anything that even remotely resembled the color. He didn’t have a favorite tv-show because he didn’t ever turn the tv on in his apartment. He loves dogs, but never adopted any because he thinks they should have a big backyard to run around in. He has a perfect attendance record at work because he never gets sick.

When you pulled up in front of your sister’s house, you still had a million questions for him, but your mom’s waving hand at the front door forced you out of the car. Frank grabbed onto your hand as you walked up the driveway and squeezed it. You tried not to blush. Why did he have to be so God damned dreamy?

He pulled his hand away to give your mom a hello hug. She winked at you over his shoulder, and your eyes stung at the thought of the holidate deal coming to an end. She was going to be heartbroken. She really liked Frank. You and Frank hadn’t discussed how long you’d be each other’s holidates, but you knew he would eventually meet someone else and have to put an end to your deal.

“Frank, I’m so glad you’re here. Uncle Steve was supposed to be the bunny, but he fell off his motorcycle last night and can’t walk without crutches. What a shame. But we really need an Easter Bunny.” She shook her head sadly, clasping her hands together.

The cackle that came out of you was obnoxious, but you didn’t care. This was the best thing that could’ve possibly happened. Frank looked back at you, eyebrows raised.

“You didn’t mention that your family also did the ‘dress up like the Easter Bunny’ thing.” He muttered, expectant look in his eyes.

“You never asked.” You responded, wiping the tears gathering under your eyes. Another fit of giggles had you gasping for air. You clutched your stomach, taking deep breaths, and then immediately busted out laughing again when your mom appeared with the bunny head in her hands.

You spent the afternoon laughing every time Frank walked by you in the costume. He looked so defeated, but he was putting on a good show for the kids, who loved him. When it was time for dinner, Frank fell into his seat next to you. He looked exhausted, but the grin he sent you was to die for.

“You could’ve told her no, you know?” You said, patting his hand.

“I know, but it made you smile, so I didn’t want to.”

Frank said this nonchalantly, but you felt his words in your gut. The chime of a knife on a wine glass stole your chance to respond. Frank lightly ran his fingers along your hand, and you spent the entire speech and prayer focused solely on the feeling of his skin against yours. If someone asked you about the speech, you’d be at a loss for words. You didn’t hear a word of it.

After dinner, you had drunk so much wine that you excused yourself to the bathroom. Your sister busted through the door approximately 30 seconds after you had entered the bathroom, slamming it shut behind her.

“Okay, it’s not like I’m in the middle of peeing or anything.”

“Oh, shush. I need to talk to you.” Her hand subconsciously rested on her stomach. She was showing a little bit, and her lilac dress showed off her baby bump perfectly.

“What is so important that you couldn’t wait for me to finish peeing?”

She smirked, leaning against the door. “It looks like it’s going good with Frank.”

“Oh my god. This could definitely wait until I was done.”

“We’ve all noticed it. I mean, come on. The bunny suit? He did that for you, not the kids.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, trying your best to nod enthusiastically.

Your sister’s face fell. “What? Is he not good in bed or something?”

“What? No! I mean, I don’t know. We haven’t-”

“Oh, is he one of those wait til marriage kind of people?”

“No! Well, I don’t know.” You threw your hands up in exasperation. You couldn’t imagine Frank being bad in bed, but that was something you had been strictly not thinking about.

“What are you hiding?” She asked, eyeing you. You should’ve known she would see through this eventually. You rested your elbows on your knees, dropping your face into your hands.

“It’s not...real.” You finally mumbled. “We’re just faking it on the holidays for our families. A holidate, ya know?”

“A holidate.” She repeated, voice full of confusion.

“A holidate.” You sat back, looking up at her.

“But he doesn’t look at you like it’s fake.” She shook her head, crossing her arms.

“That’s the point. It’s an act. You can’t tell anyone, especially Mom.” You pleaded with her.

“This could end very poorly.” She said after a pause, concern lacing her words.

“I know.” You nodded slowly, then sent her a playful glare. “Can I wipe, now? In private?”

Your sister left, quietly shutting the door behind her. You stood in the bathroom for an extra few minutes, contemplating the decisions that led you to this point. When you finally rejoined Frank at the table, he was engrossed in a conversation with your dad. He didn’t look at you, but he grabbed your hand, pulling it into his lap. Your sister sent you a pointed look, which you promptly ignored. The pattern Frank drew into your skin burned so hotly that it felt like a brand.

4th of July:

The 4th of July was always a huge affair for your family. Your parents rented a cabin on the lake and invited everyone and their grandmother to spend the weekend there, and this year, you were being upgraded to your own bedroom, courtesy of Frank’s presence. In the years you were with Ben, he had never joined you for the 4th of July celebration, so you had always been stuffed into a room with someone else. But not this year.

When you called Frank, it was the first time you’d actually spoken in over a month. The few text check-ins barely counted as a conversation, and they were usually brief. You had nervously paced around the room as you listened to the ringing on the other line, hoping it’d go to voicemail. It was a big step, even if it was technically fake. Not only would Frank be spending the night with you, but he’d also be sharing a bed with you, which was a terrifying thought.

Frank picked up, panting into the phone. His grunts were downright sinful, and you momentarily forgot what you were calling him about.

“Am I interrupting something?” You asked, mind immediately jumping to the worst conclusion.

“I’m at the gym, but I didn’t want to miss your call. What’s up, buttercup?”

You explained the situation, pacing back and forth around your kitchen when you got to the ‘one bed’ part.

“Of course, I’ll come. I wouldn’t miss it. Do you want me to stay somewhere else?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I can tell you’re walking a hole into your floor right now. We don’t have to share a bed if you don’t want to. I can stay at a hotel or something.”

“No! I mean-” you paused, closing your eyes, “I just meant that if you would be uncomfortable, you don’t have to come. I didn’t want to pressure you into anything. I don’t mind sharing a bed if you don’t”

You bit your lip, waiting for his response.

“Cool. I’ll drive. What time are we leaving?”

And that was that. Frank picked you up in his car, so giddy about the trip that he was practically bouncing up and down. The drive there wasn’t too long, but you spent the time catching up with Frank. Besides the occasional text, you really didn’t talk to him often when it wasn’t a holiday. After the conversation with your sister on Easter, you had set boundaries with yourself. You only let yourself think about him some of the time, and you certainly didn’t reach out to him. It was better if you distanced yourself from him on the regular days of the year.

Frank insisted on unloading the car himself and wouldn’t let you lift a finger to help. He even carried your purse in for you. Your mom hugged him so tightly you winced out of sympathy for the poor man. Frank was a big man, but your mom could summon the strength of three grizzly bears when she wanted to.

Frank said his hellos, shaking your dad’s hand and asking your sister about her pregnancy. Being only 2 months away from her due date, she was fully showing now. When you finally made it to the room you were sharing with Frank, you were so nervous you started to gnaw on the inside of your cheek.

The bed was big, but so was Frank. He’d take up at least two-thirds of the space. You didn’t let yourself think about tonight, or the rest of the weekend. That was a problem for future you. Your brother bolted past the doorway, stopping only to invite you both to swim in the lake before he took off again. He was only a couple years younger than you, but he had the energy of a 12-year-old boy.

“Do you want to go?” Frank asked, flopping onto the bed. He propped his head on his hands, which were stretched behind him. His shirt had risen up, giving you a full view of his happy trail. Your mouth dried at the sight.

“Oh, sure.” You finally responded, shaking the thoughts from your head. “Do you?”

“Whatever you want to do is fine with me. Your mom’s not going to make me dress up like a giant firework, is she?”

You stifled a laugh, reaching for your swimsuit. “I don’t think so, but you never know with her.”

Frank closed his eyes, settling into the mattress.

“You can change. I won’t peek. Holidate’s honor.”

The idea of being bare in front of Frank was not something you had prepared yourself for, and you could feel yourself begin to sweat. You slowly closed the door, which increased the heat in the room to suffocating levels.

You studied Frank, whose eyes remained closed. He looked peaceful in this position, unbothered by the trials and tribulations of life. You slowly unbuttoned your shorts, pushing them down your legs. Your gaze remained on Frank, blissfully unaware of what he was doing to you. Heat pounded between your thighs, and you couldn’t help the image that popped into your head of Frank’s head dipped between. You bit your lip, watching as Frank shifted his hips on the bed and cleared his throat.

The sound of your brother’s footsteps stomping past the closed door startled you out of your thoughts. A cold wave washed over you, chilling you to your bones. You hurried to put the rest of your swimsuit on, almost falling over in the process.

You stepped out of the room, taking a deep breath. This weekend was going to be rough, and you had only been there for 15 minutes. When Frank joined you outside, you had to look away in order not to groan. Frank was unreasonably fit, muscles bulging in places you didn’t even know muscles existed. You focused on rubbing sunscreen into your skin, looking everywhere but at Frank.

He stopped behind you, grabbing the bottle of sunscreen off the table. You froze when you felt his hands gathering your hair, moving it in front of your shoulders. He squirted sunscreen on his hands and began lathering it across your back and shoulders. You watched the group of people gathered around the lake, taking turns swinging into the water off a rope. The only thing that stopped you from turning around and slamming your lips against Frank’s was the horrible awkwardness that would settle between you for the entire weekend if Frank rebuffed your advances.

His hands worked their way down your back, stopping millimeters above the waistline of your bikini.

“All done.” His voice was husky in your ear. You slowly turned around, looking up at Frank. He brought his hand up to your shoulder, rolling the strap of your bikini between his fingers.

“Purple.” He observed. “I like this color.”

He stepped around you, taking your hand in his and tugging your arm. You tried not to stare at his ass as he led you down to the lake.

Later, after hours of swimming and eating the burgers your dad had grilled for everyone, you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Even though the lake water had been freezing, and you had spent most of dinner leaning into Frank’s natural body heat, you had taken an ice cold shower. Frank was in the room, already showered and probably in bed. You prayed that he would be asleep when you finally got the courage to enter the room.

You took a breath, stepping out of the bathroom and making your way down the hall. When you stepped into the dark room, Frank was lying flat on his back in bed, scrolling through his phone.

You crawled into the bed, doing your best to avoid touching Frank. Frank was broad, though, and your shoulder ended up touching his no matter what position you laid in.

“Jesus,” he mumbled, turning on his side and facing you, “you’re freezing.”

You cleared your throat. “I’m fine.”

He gave you a flat stare, pressing his shoulder into yours. You pushed back, settling against him. Your body seemed to have a mind of its own. Frank was warm, and you really were freezing after your cold shower, so you relaxed into the touch, shutting your eyes. The back of Frank’s hand brushed yours as you fell into a deep sleep next to him.

The next evening, you watched as Frank and your dad set up the firework area that everyone would be gathering around soon. Your sister lounged in the chair next to you, fanning herself.

“Why don’t you just date instead of faking it? You act like a couple already.”

“Because that wasn’t the deal, and who says he even sees me like that?”

“Do you see him like that?”

“I don’t know. No.” You shook your head. “It’s not like that.”

“That suggestive sunscreen job I witnessed yesterday says differently.”

You didn’t want to argue with her, so you remained quiet, watching Frank’s back muscles flex as he lifted a piece of wood and chunked it to the side. When he made his way back to you, he was coated in sweat, which somehow made him even better to look at. He smiled at you, stopping to press a kiss on the top of your head. Your sister shot you a look when he continued walking towards the cabin.

When it was finally dark enough to shoot off fireworks, your dad counted down, setting off a huge firework when he got to zero. The night took a turn for the worse shortly after that.

It had started with your brother jokingly shooting a firework near you that landed a little too close for comfort. Frank had a competitive side apparently, thus began an outright firework war that ended faster than it began. You ran for the cabin, stopping when you heard the unmistakable sound of Frank grunting in pain.

He had fallen to the ground, clutching his hand to his chest. You turned on your heels, bolting to Frank and falling to your knees in front of him. His finger was missing, and you did your very best not to puke all over your severely injured holidate.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD. Frank!” You faintly heard the sound of someone calling an ambulance behind you. You clutched the sides of his face, trying to figure out what to do. Your brother was searching the ground around you, and you balked in horror when you realized he was looking for Frank’s finger.

“Is it bad?” Frank asked, grunting when he tried to lift his hand.

“Is it bad?” You repeated, incredulously, “Yes, it’s bad. Where the fuck is your finger, Frank?”

He barked out a laugh, and then groaned at the movement.

“You’re the only person who’d get mad at someone with a missing finger.”

“This is totally karma getting us back for lying to my parents on Valentine’s Day!”

The ambulance arrived shortly after that, and you jumped into the back with Frank before the paramedics could tell you any differently. You spent hours in the waiting room as Frank had his finger surgically attached, drinking shitty coffee and flipping through the months-old magazines on the table. When the doctor finally told you he was ready to be seen, you had to stop yourself from running down the hall towards him.

He was in a recovery room, lying on the bed in a hospital gown.

“How are you feeling?” You asked, plopping down on the chair next to the bed. The hand that had lost the finger was wrapped in pounds of gauze, propped up on a pillow.

“Like shit.” He grumbled, taking your hand in his uninjured one. “I totally ruined your family’s holiday.”

“Frank, my brother is the one that shot your finger off. You didn’t ruin anything. I’ve gotten about 75,000 texts asking for updates on you since we got here. They’re not worried about the holiday, they’re worried about you. ”

“This is the worst holidate ever.” He moaned, exaggerating his eye roll.

You giggled, resting your chin on your free hand.

“At least you still have all your extremities.”

He chuckled, looking at his injured hand.

“Thanks for staying.” He squeezed your hand as he said it, looking over at you.

“Holidates don’t leave holidates behind.”

Halloween:

Halloween was something you hadn’t officially celebrated in years, but your brother was finally getting hitched, and you were actually pretty excited about it. Frank was coming as your plus-one and holidate, even though technically the event wasn’t holiday related. It was the same weekend as Halloween, so Frank had insisted on joining you. He had even gone as far as pointing out that it would be strange for you to show up to the wedding alone, considering how long he’d been attending family events with you.

Your mother had done all of the hotel booking, so you and Frank were sharing room again, but you weren’t as nervous this time around about that. The weeks after the finger incident had changed something between you and Frank. At first, you basically lived on his couch, waking him up throughout the night to give him the medicine his doctor had prescribed him. You had to help him button his shirts for work, a task you still thought about daily, and stocked his fridge with meals that he wouldn't have to fuss over with his injured hand.

It was now a fairly regular occurrence to hear from Frank throughout the day. A random text every few hours, or a phone call during his lunch break was something you’d grown used to in your daily routine. You still didn’t know what you were doing. The idea of actually dating someone was terrifying, but you couldn’t decide if it was worse than the idea of not seeing Frank.

Frank’s voice coaxed you out of your deep thoughts.

“I can’t get this bowtie to sit right.” Frank called from the bathroom.

You moved towards his voice, clutching the front of your dress.

“Zip me, please.” You mumbled, turning your back to him. He obliged, running his cool knuckles up your spine as he zipped the dress up. You focused on the bowtie, undoing the ridiculous knot he had wound into it while trying to fix it.

“You look great. Beautiful.” He sighed, looking you over.

You smiled. “You’re only saying that because the dress I’m wearing is purple.” You didn’t mention that you had picked this dress out specifically because of the color.

“I can like the color and also like you in the color. They don’t have to be mutually exclusive.”

You retied the bowtie, patting his chest when you finished. “You look good, too.”

“You’re making me blush.” He chuckled, leading you out the door.

Your sister met you in the lobby, holding the newest addition to the family in her arms. She had gone into labor in the middle of September, bringing your nephew into the world a short 6 hours later. Frank’s first interaction with him had been so annoyingly adorable that your mother didn’t stop sending you meaningful looks for hours afterwards.

The ceremony was short, but as weird as you expected it to be. Anything your brother was involved in guaranteed a strange experience, but Frank didn’t seem to mind. He spent the ceremony clutching your hand between his and toying with the fabric of your dress.

The reception is when it got really interesting. You finally escaped the dance floor, where your dad was thoroughly drunk and had been whipping you around in circles for what felt like hours. You stepped off the raised floor, heading directly for Frank, who had been watching you dance with a bemused expression on his face.

“That looked fun.” He observed, passing you the glass of water on the table.

You gulped it down, all too aware of Frank’s heated gaze. You could always tell when he was looking at you. A fiery shock would slide down your spine and settle deep in your bones when his eyes were on you. You never got used to it, but tonight you decided to welcome the feeling.

Maybe it was the champagne, or maybe you were just tired of sitting on the relationship fence with Frank, but you leaned over him, giving him an unrestricted view down your dress as you set the empty glass down on the table. He remained unfazed, glancing over your shoulder at the dance floor.

You tried not to look disappointed. You had spent so much time with him that maybe you had created a false narrative about him. It had been 10 months since you’d reconnected, and he’d only ever been affectionate with you when you were in front of your family. Which, you reminded yourself, was the deal.

You shook your head, ridding the thoughts from your head. You held out your hand in question, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Dance with me.”

A goofy smile spread across his face. “It'd be an honor, ma’am.”

You led him across the dance floor, swaying to the music that had changed from fast paced to slow and romantic. Your steps were clumsy and awkward, but that didn’t deter Frank.

“Let me lead.” He mumbled, looking down at your feet.

“I can’t not lead. I always lead.” You respond, trying and failing to relinquish your control.

“Let me lead.” He repeated, squeezing your waist. “Relax.”

You took a deep breath, following his steps as best you could. It was rather nice, dancing with a man that you could trust to guide you around the dance floor. With Ben, you’d always had to lead. He was a terrible dancer. Frank, though, was a natural.

He effortlessly led you around the floor, pulling you closer every time he spun you around. Your chest was fully pressed against his, and he smiled as he rested his forehead against yours. You couldn’t hide the ridiculous smile that mirrored his. On any other occasion, you would pull away and stick to the holidate rules, but tonight didn’t feel like a holidate date, so you stayed exactly where you were, cheesing so hard your cheeks were beginning to hurt.

His eyes darted down to your lips, and then quickly returned to your eyes. You couldn’t help it. You leaned in, just barely grazing his lips with your own. It didn’t qualify as a kiss. It barely qualified as anything, but the expression on Frank’s face had you reeling back. You couldn’t tell if he was upset, confused, or mad, but you opened your mouth to apologize anyways.

“I’m-”

The feedback from the microphone cut you off. Frank’s grip on your waist tightened as you whirled around, looking toward the stage. It was time for the ‘father of the bride’ speech, and you couldn’t believe how unlucky the timing was.

You didn’t look at Frank as you made your way back to your family’s table. Instead, you grabbed your nephew out of your sister’s hands, rocking him in your arms as the speech began. You didn’t need to look up to know Frank was staring at you. He hadn’t stopped since you’d barely kissed him moments before. Heat traveled up your neck and across your cheeks. You felt like crying, but you didn’t know why. Did you just ruin possibly the best friendship you’d ever had by misreading the situation?

The speech finished, and you went to hand your nephew back to your sister, when the worst possible thing that could’ve happened, happened. Your nephew, cute and as bubbly as could be, decided he wanted to projectile vomit all over your chest. You didn’t move for several moments, trying to comprehend everything that led to this moment.

Your sister wouldn’t stop apologizing as she took the baby from you. The anxious ringing in your ears was back, and you couldn’t breathe. Tonight was going so poorly, and you were so overwhelmed with Frank that frustrated and embarrassed tears began pouring down your cheeks. You could feel Frank’s hand wrap around your wrist as you turned towards the exit, but you shrugged him off, moving out of the reception hall and towards the elevators in the lobby of the hotel.

You knew you’d have to face him eventually, but all you could think about was getting out of there, away from his overpowering presence. When you finally got to your room, you couldn’t stop the overflow of tears. Your dress was ruined, probably cursed to smell like baby puke forever, and your makeup was so smeared it would have to be completely redone if you wanted to return to the reception.

You decided you had had enough of dancing. You stripped your dress off, stepping into the boiling hot shower. You wiped your face, staining the white washcloth black. Your fists squeezed into tight balls as the bathroom door opened and shut.

“Are you okay?”

Frank’s voice was soft, and tears welled up in your eyes again at the sound of it. He was always so nice.

“Why do I feel like you’re always asking me that?” You finally responded, resting your head against the cool tile of the shower wall.

“You’ve had an off year. We all have ‘em. Are you okay, though?”

The sympathy in his voice caused even more tears to fall down your face. You couldn’t even figure out why you were crying anymore.

“I’m...I don’t know.” You mumbled, wiping your cheeks. “I don’t know. Is that okay?”

“Of course. But you’re allowed to not be okay. I’m here for you either way.”

You groaned, closing your eyes. “Happy fuckin’ Halloween.” You mumbled.

You turned the shower off, drying yourself off with the towel hanging on the wall of the shower opposite the shower head. You opened the curtain, clutching the towel to your chest. Frank was sitting on the toilet lid, leaning against the back of the toilet, looking directly at you. His gaze was hard to read.

“We don’t have to go back, do we?” You asked, stepping out of the shower.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” He stood, moving to lean against the counter next to you.

You gazed at your reflection. A few tear paths, stained with mascara, were scattered across your cheeks. You rubbed them with the palm of your hand, trying to wipe away any of the remnants of tonight.

“Beautiful.” Frank mumbled, looking at you through the reflection of the mirror.

“What?” You asked, meeting his gaze.

“You’re beautiful, even when your makeup is all over the place.”

“Oh.” You breathed, turning away from the mirror to face him.

He took a step forward, towering over you. His hand cupped your cheek, and he swiftly leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. The spark was electric, snapping the restraint in both of you. You pressed against him, opening your mouth for him to explore. He groaned, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You didn’t let yourself think of the consequences as you dropped your towel, fully bare before him. He pulled away, looking your body up and down, before reconnecting his mouth with yours. You pulled on his bowtie, undoing the knot you had tied so many hours earlier. The buttons on his shirt slid apart easily, and suddenly Frank was tugging his shirt off, dropping it to the floor behind him. He cupped the back of your knees, hoisting you into the air as you gripped his back and wrapped your legs around his waist.

He carried you into the bedroom, grunting as he fell on top of you on the soft mattress. His tongue made its way down your neck and onto your chest. He licked a path down your sternum and onto your stomach, planting kisses along the way. His path downward stopped suddenly as he lightly kissed and sucked on your hip, leaving what was sure to be a mark the next day.

He lifted your legs, resting them on his shoulders. He looked up, lustful and heated in his gaze.

“Can I?” He asked, squeezing your thighs.

“Oh, please.” You responded, spreading your legs wider for him.

He dove in, tongue lapping at your cunt. The moan you let out would surely wake whatever unlucky neighbors you had on either side of your room. You arched your back, giving him more access. His tongue made slow circles up your slit, settling just below your clit. He left kitten licks all around it, grinning every time you moaned. You scoffed when you realized what he was doing. He was teasing you.

You let out a frustrated whine, arching your back further.

“You need somethin’, darlin’?” He asked, punch drunk on your pussy.

“I need you, Frank.” You whined, looking down at him.

His gaze darkened, and you were almost afraid of what would come next. He finally, finally, circled your clit with his tongue. You saw stars, letting out the most uncouth moan you’d ever heard yourself make. He flattened his tongue, licking from your clit to your cunt and back again. Your legs began to shake, and he tightened his grip on your thighs.

He drew figure eights with his tongue, sucking and licking you until you were so close you thought you might explode. He ate pussy like a man starved, and when your orgasm finally crashed over you, white-hot and all encompassing, you thought you might never reach that level of euphoria again.

He rested his head on your thigh, grinning as he watched you come down from what was probably the best orgasm you’d ever have in your lifetime. Your heart was racing, and you let out several unsteady breaths. Your entire body was numb, and you couldn’t feel anything but bliss inside of you. Frank had wrecked you with his tongue, and all you could think about was doing it again.

He crawled up your body, hovering over you. He ran his hands through your hair a few times before settling his gaze on yours.

“Let's do that again.” You sighed, skin buzzing where he touched you.

He chuckled, pressing a kiss onto the bridge of your nose. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you. He was still wearing his dress pants, and you wiggled with discontent.

“You’re too clothed, sir.” You said, grinning.

“Yeah?” He asked, sitting back on his heels.

“Yes.” You replied, watching as he slowly removed his belt. The sight of him kneeling over you, removing his clothes, was drool worthy. You had to remind yourself to close your mouth as he got off the bed and dropped his pants to the floor.

The front of his briefs were stained with wetness, precum soaking through the fabric. Your mouth watered and you swallowed thickly as he stroked his hard cock, stepping out of his pants and underwear. Frank naked was a sight to behold. His cock was veiny and long, and your legs widened out of sheer shock.

He smirked, pumping his cock again. You bit your lip to hide the moan crawling up your throat. He leaned over, pulling a condom out of his wallet.

“Do you always keep condoms in your wallet when you’re a plus one to a wedding?” You ask, genuinely curious.

“Only when my dates are incredibly sexy and wear my favorite color.”

“Oh, so this happens often?” You tried to sound seductive instead of insecure, which is the feeling that began bubbling in your chest.

“No. Not until tonight.” He shook his head, eyes following the curve of your hips and settling between your thighs. He slid the condom on and crawled over you again.

Relief washed over you, and you spread your legs wider, inviting him to use you as he pleased. Your groans filled the room as he pushed into you, inch by inch until he was fully inside of you. It stung a little, considering how long it had been since you’d had sex with anyone, but he didn’t move, cradling your face and waiting for you to give him a signal that he could positively fuck you into the mattress.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling his mouth to yours. His thrusts started slow, but the heat in your kiss sent another shock to both of your systems, and soon he was pounding into you. Skin met skin in a sinful, symphonic rhythm that overtook the room. He grunted into your ear when you lifted your hips, allowing him to push deeper into you.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him with every deep thrust. Your heart pounded as he thrusted into you, over and over, pushing you closer to the edge. Your moans got louder, and that seemed to motivate him into fucking you harder into the mattress underneath you. He dipped his head into your neck, sucking the sensitive skin and leaving small marks in his wake. You squeezed your eyes shut, tears of pleasure rolling down the sides of your face. You’d never been fucked this good before, and the only logical reaction your body could think of was to cry.

He kissed the tears, smiling as you clenched around him. He reached down, settling his finger on your sensitive clit. It took about 3 seconds before your body couldn’t handle the overwhelming pleasure washing over you. You moaned loudly, orgasm shattering through you. He groaned, squeezing you tighter against him. You both met your highs, hearts pounding wildly in your chests as you came.

His thrusts slowed, until he finally stopped, breathing hard over you. Your body was so blissed out that it took you several minutes before you could open your eyes. Frank kissed your nose again, pulling out of you. You both groaned with oversensitivity.

He disposed of the condom, falling onto the bed next to you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, still breathing heavier than normal.

You could barely hear him. The pounding in your chest had moved to your ears.

“Mhmm.” You sighed, snuggling into the comforter under your head. “You?”

“I’m in awe of you. I always am.”

He grasped your hand, pushing the covers back and helping you crawl under them. He settled next to you in the bed, running his fingers through your hair. Your heavy eyelids tracked the movements, watching him watch you. The expression on his face was unreadable, but sleep was fast approaching, so you couldn’t find it in yourself to question it. You could barely keep your eyes open, the last thing you remember being the soft press of Frank’s lips on your forehead.

A pounding at the door woke you from your deep slumber. The hotel room was filled with daylight, and you shielded your eyes as you tried to find your bearings. Frank was next to you, lying on his stomach and hugging the pillow under his head.

Another knock at the door had you jumping to your feet, grabbing an extra blanket and wrapping it around yourself as you made your way to the door. You opened it to your very concerned-looking sister.

“You’re alive.” She observed, glancing over your blanket wrapped body, “And naked.”

“Yes, thank you. Is that all?” You gritted your teeth, unintentionally snarling.

She looked over your shoulder at Frank’s sleeping form and back at you.

“Didn’t you agree with me that this would be a bad idea?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“And you did it anyways?”

“Yes.” You rolled your eyes, itching to slam the door in her face and crawl back into bed with Frank.

“You’re going to get hurt. Or hurt him. Or both.” She stated, matter-of-factly.

“I haven’t thought that far ahead, yet.” You admitted, leaning your head against the doorframe.

Frank shifted behind you, and you looked at your sister incredulously. “Are we done?”

“Check out is in an hour. That’s all I wanted to come tell you.” She said, floating down the hallway towards her room. You closed the door, rolling your eyes again.

You turned, intent on forgetting the entire interaction, when you noticed Frank sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey.” You said softly, moving towards him.

“Hey.” His response was blunt, voice hard and cold. He stood, sliding past you. He didn’t even spare you a glance as he rifled through his bag, quickly getting dressed. You sat on the bed, watching him move around the room and gather his stuff.

You didn’t know what to say, or why it had gotten so awkward all of the sudden. You chewed your lip nervously. He finally looked over at you, resting his hands on his hips.

“Can you check us out on your own?” He asked, seemingly annoyed.

Your brow furrowed. “Um,” You started, trying to figure out where his coldness was coming from, “Yeah, I can do it.”

“Okay.” He nodded, lifting his bag. “I’ll see you in a few weeks then?” His voice had softened a little bit, but the expression on his face was still cold.

“Yeah.” You responded, not knowing what else to say. He walked out of the hotel room, not sparing a glance behind him. You watched as the door clicked shut, and you took a deep shuttering breath. Tears prickled behind your eyes, and you didn’t know what else to do besides packing your stuff. When you got to the lobby 20 minutes later, Frank was nowhere to be found.

Thanksgiving:

This was probably the most nervous you’d ever been to see Frank, even more than Valentine’s Day when you’d officially started being holidates. You had barely spoken to him since Halloween, which bothered you more than you thought it would. You’d grown so used to his daily texts and phone calls that the radio silence was increasingly frustrating. When you’d texted him to ask if he was still coming to your parents' house for Thanksgiving, he’d sent a simple ‘yes’ 12 hours later.

You were perplexed by Frank’s behavior, but you chalked it up to overthinking your night with him. You’d never agreed to anything more than holidates with him, and you couldn’t just assume that Frank would be different with you after having sex with you. You had simply misread the signals he’d been sending you, and that was your fault.

Your mother hadn’t stopped audibly sighing since you’d shown up on the front porch alone. You hadn’t talked to Frank about riding together, so you’d texted him that you were driving yourself. He hadn’t responded, and it was now 15 minutes past the time he was supposed to be here.

“Are you sure he’s coming, honey?” Your mom asked, fiddling with the oven mitts on the counter.

“He said he’d be here.” You muttered, trying not to look at the clock again.

Your phone buzzed, and you read a text from Frank: ‘I’m outside.’

You walked out to the front porch, where you met Frank, who was holding two bouquets of flowers in his hands.

“More flowers?” You asked, looking at the beautiful array of orange, yellow, and red flowers he had picked out.

“Of course. You know I never show up empty handed.”

“I’m surprised you showed up at all.” You couldn’t keep the bite out of your tone as you said what you’d been worrying about since Halloween.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Frank didn’t raise his voice, and for that you were glad, but the tone was definitely sharper than you were used to.

“I just meant that you haven’t been very communicative lately. If you met someone else, that’s fine, but I need to know that stuff so I can tell my family we broke up.” You crossed your arms and shuffled your feet.

“Is that what you want?” He asked, eyeing you.

“What?”

“To break up.”

“We’re not together, Frank. It’s not real.”

He inhaled sharply, nodding.

“Okay.” He said finally, handing you both bouquets. He turned, stalking back towards his car.

“Where are you going?” The tremble in your voice was entirely too noticeable, and you kicked yourself for being so emotional over this non-relationship.

“Home. We're not fake-together anymore. Remember? Tell your mom sorry for the inconvenience.”

He climbed into his car and pulled away from the curb at an alarming pace. You stood there, dumbfounded, watching his car until you couldn’t see it anymore. The tears that you’d spent the last few weeks holding in finally made an appearance, and sobs began to overwhelm your body.

You had totally fucked everything up, and now you had to go inside and tell your family that you and Frank had broken up. The thought of it made you cry even harder.

The door opened behind you, and you felt the soft embrace of your sister around you.

“I’m so sorry, honey.” She mumbled into your back, squeezing you into a hug.

“I don’t know what happened.” You said, clutching the flowers to your chest.

“I know, sweetie. I’m sorry.”

She held you for longer than you care to admit before you finally went inside to deliver the news.

Christmas:

You layed on your parents’ couch, watching as your mom slowly decorated the Christmas tree in the living room. You usually helped her, but you’d been a wreck since a few weeks ago at Thanksgiving, and your mom hadn’t asked for your help, just your company.

The tree came together perfectly – it always did when your mother was involved – and you tried not to think about Frank, or the fact that you hadn’t been able to sleep or eat since you’d seen him last.

When your mom sat on the couch next to you, she sighed, which was always a sign that she had something important to discuss. You tried not to outwardly groan.

“Honey,” she started, taking your hand in hers, “I know you miss Frank, but you can’t let this ruin your happiness. He is very handsome and nice, and I don’t know what happened between you two, but I need you to remember that you deserve a kind and forgiving love like the rest of us. If he can’t offer that, he’s not worth your time.”

The overwhelming urge to come clean to your mom about the entire thing ate at you as you listened to her. You responded before you could lose the nerve.

“Mom, I made a mistake.”

She nodded, leaning forward to listen to you.

“Frank wasn’t really my boyfriend. We were faking it, so that you and dad would stop worrying about me. Except, I think I really fell for him, and then everything went to shit, and I think I accidentally fell in love with him, and I don’t know what to do.”

Your voice cracked, and another wave of tears fell down your face. The only thing you could manage to do lately was cry, and it was beginning to drain you of your will to function.

“Oh, honey.” She chuckled, squeezing your hand against her chest. “We don’t care if you have a boyfriend or not. We just want you to be happy, sweetie. And I’m sorry if it came across like we were trying to marry you off. We just wanted you to find someone who could make you as happy as we make each other.”

She pulled you into a hug and rubbed your back in a soothing pattern as you cried into her chest.

“You know, we’ve never seen you as happy as you were with Frank.” She murmured.

“It wasn’t real, Mom.” You muttered, shaking your head.

“You can’t fake that. He looked at you like you hung the moon. And you looked at him the same way. Even if it started as something fake, that’s not something you can fake for long.”

You stayed quiet, mulling over her words.

“You should call him.” She suggested, shrugging her shoulders.

“I can’t call him. We fake broke-up.”

“You can do anything you set your mind to.” She stated, raising her chin. “I didn’t raise you to give up so easily.” She flicked your nose, smiling. “Do you want some hot chocolate? I’ll make it the way you like.”

You sent her a small smile, nodding. “Yeah, thanks.”

After she made it to the kitchen, you pulled out your phone. You weren’t going to call him, you weren’t insane, but you could text him.

You asked him if you could talk and watched as the bubbles next to his name appeared, disappeared, and then reappeared on the screen. Your phone buzzed, and an uneasy feeling settled in your gut.

‘Yes. Can you meet me at the Christmas tree farm off of Jones?’

You jumped up, pulling on your boots and yelling at your mom not to make the hot chocolate.

“Where are you going?” She exclaimed, briskly walking into the living room. You were already a foot out the door.

“Frank!” You yelled behind you, running to your car.

The drive was frustratingly long, and you didn’t remember there being so many stoplights in town, and of course you hit every red light.

When you pulled into the lot, you spotted Frank’s tall frame looking over a sad-looking tree. You got out, slowly making your way towards him. When you finally stopped next to him, you were convinced you might bite a hole through your cheek.

“This looks like Charlie Brown’s tree.” You stated.

“There aren’t any good ones left. I waited too long to get a tree.” He responded, shuffling his feet. You still hadn’t looked at each other.

“Why’d you wait so long?” You asked, stalling.

“I wanted to get one with you.”

You looked at him, eyebrows raised.

“With me?”

He nodded, finally meeting your gaze. You didn’t know what else to do, so you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a hug. His arms tightly surrounded you, breathing you in for the first time in weeks.

“I missed you.” He whispered, squeezing you for emphasis.

“I missed you, too.” You murmured.

When you pulled away, tears threatened to spill on your cheeks for what felt like the millionth time in the last month.

“What happened?” You asked, confused at his behavior the last two times you’d seen him.

“You told your sister sleeping with me was a bad idea, and I know I wasn’t supposed to hear it, but I took it as you didn’t want to be with me, and I freaked out. I thought we would be together after Halloween. Like seriously together, and then when you said that, I thought maybe I had been misreading everything since I met you. And then I realized what a dumbass I am, because the sad look on your face when I left on Thanksgiving told me that you actually did care about me. And then I didn’t know what to say to you, so I didn’t say anything. But what I should’ve said was ‘I’ve been in love with you since Easter, and I want to be your holidate for the rest of my life, if you’ll let me.’” He finished by throwing his hands up in the air.

You smiled, eyes glistening. “Remember when I was the one who rambled when I was nervous?” You asked, giggling.

He threw his head back and let out a loud laugh.

“I do remember that, yes.”

“Would it help if I said I came here to tell you that I fell in love with you a long time ago? And that I’m an idiot for ignoring it for so long? And that I love you so much that these last few weeks have been absolute hell for me?”

He grinned, cupping your cheeks. “Yes, that does help a little bit.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, leaning into his hold. “I could grovel more if you need me to. I came ready for anything.”

“I’m sure, sweetheart.” He softly pressed his lips against yours, and you physically felt all of the pain of the last few weeks leave your body. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you.

When you finally broke away, you were breathless and on cloud nine. You nodded towards the tree he had been looking at.

“I like this one. Wanna get it?” You asked.

He chuckled and nodded. “What Miss Daisy wants, Miss Daisy gets.”

You giggled, pulling him into another kiss.

If you’d told yourself a year ago that you’d be here, kissing Frank Castle in the middle of a Christmas tree lot, you would laugh at yourself. Frank wasn’t what you were expecting, but you had learned over the last year that the best things in life usually come when you least expect them to, and that when you have something good, you shouldn’t let go of it. You weren’t planning on letting Frank go anytime soon, or ever if you could help it, and the way Frank refused to drop your hand, even when you tried to get into your own car to drive to his house, told you he wouldn’t be letting go of you either.

End Note: I really hope you enjoyed this! If you want to see this in a series with other Marvel characters, let me know! Also, can we please figure out how to get Jon into a romcom. I need that in my life IMMEDIATELY.

Tag List:

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irndad · 3 years ago

Text

Rhythm

peter is a really, terrible actor. he doesn't need to be good. new years themed! friends to lovers, fake dating!

NOTE: HAPPY NEW YEARS!! i apologize for the delay, the tags got me :(

She’s like his heartbeat.

It’s rhythmic, the way his days circle around hers, the way their days weave into shared weeks, curving into months forming a life entwined like overgrown roots of oak trees.

She is easy to fall into, effortlessly graceful and unthinkingly kind. She’s the kind of beautiful you look at twice, just to make sure that you saw it right.

They live two buildings away from each other, and he’s memorized every step of how to reach her home. It’s a familiar waltz, a step in time to a place where safety and comfort is so abundant it surrounds the soul.

He hasn’t told her this, of course. There is comfort in her presence and peace found in her laughter, and he’s hardly strong enough to risk any of the beauty she brings about to tell her how it makes him feel.

Still, there is always the hypothetical.

And these is plenty he is willing to indulge himself, in the realm of the hypothetical. Thoughts of how she’d settle into his arms after a long day, how his face would fit into the crook of her neck. It’s a dangerous habit, how often he considers what it would be like to let someone worry over him, and that someone to be her, all softness and kind fingers brushing over harsh wounds- her loving Peter Parker. Not Spider-Man.

All of this to say that it is incredibly hard for him to say no to her.

She asks him when she��s just made him a cup of tea. It’s two days before New Years’, and he’s a sucker for her tea. To be perfectly honest, he loves watching her make it for him- how she runs her fingers through her hair before she grabs the mug, the way she rests one hand on her hip when she grabs the milk, how she stirs the honey and the spoon hits the ceramic, music in the way she shows care.

Her pretty eyes were wide and hopeful, and god isn’t that something the most selfish part of him wants to cling to, that even pretending to be her partner was something she would want of him.

“It’s just one night, Peter,” she says, and her delicate fingers are fiddling with themselves, picking at her cuticles, “And it’d help me out more than anything.”

“Are they really that weird about you being single?”

She’s single. It’s a truth he carries around like a wish-stone, a comfort he keeps thumbing over possibility.

“It’s just that I haven’t brought anyone to these parties, and they keep trying to set me up with someone, and I just- I really don’t wanna do that. Peter, you’d be doing me a massive favor.”

Set up. And it’s not like he doesn’t know that he has not leg to stand on, and he knows that it’s selfish, to keep her time hostage in their friendship. She deserves more than a best friend who looks at her too long, always too afraid to speak.

But he wants her, wants her more than his own sense of cowardice can suppress.

“Okay, okay! Anything to save you from a bind date!”

The way she lunges to hug him, all warmth and heart- she fits perfectly in his arms, the kind of match that feels tailor-made.

His girl.

This is going to be hard.

New Years Eve, 2021

She’s stunning.

She’s wearing this blush dress, and he’s seen it in her closet, thinks it might be her go-to date dress, and it’s dizzyingly satisfying to know that she’s dressed for him. Tonight, he will be able to touch her without restraint, speak of his affection without a layer of self-preservation behind it.

Closing the door behind her, she tucks her hair behind her ear, and asks him a question, one that draws him from the depths that drinking her in surrounds him in.

“Do I look okay?”

“You look beautiful.”

It might be the only truth he says tonight, but it’s the most true. She’s prettier than city lights, than the view from the Empire State.

A whole new league of gorgeous.

She looks him up and down, drinks in the sight of him like she’s meeting him all over again, and he feels overwhelmingly seen, like she can see right through him.

“You look good too, Parker.” She smiles, before grabbing his hand, lacing their fingers together. “C’mon, it’s just my neighbor, she’s just down the hall.”

He tries desperately not to think about how good it feels to hold her hand.

After greeting her friends, one by one, she introduced him.

“This is my boyfriend, Peter.”

She plays the part beautifully, and he does his best to match. It’s not like they have to try very hard. Her friends have apparently expected this, and Peter- he doesn’t want to think about what that means. They know the rhythm to each other’s step, follow the other’s action like a dance they’ve memorized by heart.

She’d be an excellent girlfriend. He knew this, of course. Didn’t need a night of pretend to tell him that, Peter knew her kindness and warmth far before. Still, it’s intoxicating, the way flirt slips into her tone, how she trails her fingers up his wrist when they’re sitting at the table with her friends. She grabs him a drink calls him sweetheart, and part of him wishes he could keep it on vinyl, listen to her so-sweet voice over on a low crackle. Her sweetheart. What he’d give to really be that.

The whole night, she’s touching him. Nothing too much, nothing that anyone would call excessive. But it’s more than he’s ever felt from her- brushes their fingers, bumps their knees. After a while, on her friend’s couch, he had his arm around her, her head laying on his shoulder.

She’s the most precious thing he’s ever held.

Later, when everyone’s too caught up with their own lovers to ay attention to her fake one, Peter pulls her away to the kitchen. She looks so stunning, stunning in the original sense of the word. The sort of beauty that stuns you, stops you in your tracks.

“Hey, hey, am I doing okay?” He asks.

He’s got her backed up against the counter, and it’s a dizzyingly pleasant feeling, her this close to him. No one is watching. He’s pushing his luck.

“You’re the most convincing actor I’ve ever seen, Parker,” she laughs, and she’s giggly, tips her head to rest on his chest for just a second, just a passing indulgence, before she looks at him again, “I oughta keep you around.”

Please, he wants to say, I’d love to keep you.

“You’re pretty good yourself,” he replies’ and he’s playing fast and loose with the rules, his hand on her waist, “What did you say, you liked me since freshman year?”

She preens, and she’s so adorable, it nearly breaks his heart. He’s been doing far too much of that tonight.

She didn’t like him, freshman year. He knows that, because he overheard her talking about some guy, and when he asked her about it, she had just said it was some guy way out of her league.

That guy keeps Peter up, some nights. How some guy could have a shot with the girl of his dreams, and not want it.

“Yeah, well,” she looks down sheepishly, “I didn’t have to act that much.”

She can’t mean that. She can’t mean that.

“You didn’t,” he says, and it’s too slow, his hand trailing up to her face. He brushes the side of her cheek, and her eyelids flutter, her lashes throwing shadows on her pretty face, “it wasn’t- it was me?”

She can’t have liked him.

Because right now, and for much longer than that, Peter hasn’t wanted a damn thing else than to be the person she wanted. To be the person who could pull her in, hold her, kiss her in ways that no-one else could, in ways she’d only want from him.

He’s an addict with a craving for her affection, and she’s standing here offering him salvation. It can’t be happening.

“Peter,” her voice is a low hum, like a radio playing a song that always brings you home, “I don’t think I’ve wanted anything else from the minute I saw you.”

Her doe eyes are wide, searching his face, searching for meaning, but Peter- he’s all action. Her heartbeat’s fast, and he can almost feel the rhythm of her pulse, the finality of the dance they’ve been spinning for months. It’s a moment, Peter knows. And moments can slip.

Then, the counting starts.

It’s New Years, and she’s so close, and her perfume smells like roses. She’s warm and pliant in his arms, a blessing to behold in the arms of someone who is far less than she deserves.

3…

She’s the best thing that has ever happened to him. He keeps the city safe because it’s where she is.

2…

The way she’s looking at him- it’s unmistakable. She wants him back. There is nothing else he’s asked for from the universe.

1…

When it happens, it’s slow at first. She’s impossible not to be consumed by the sight of, and she’s so close, and he kisses her. He’s the one who does it, who leans in and takes the moment, her face in his grasp, her pulled close to him.

He could spend the rest of his life in this moment, in this kiss.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. And when he looks down at her, wide-eyed and his home, she smiles. He could spend his entire life in moments like these.

He gets the feeling, though, that there will be plenty more.

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #spiderman x reader #the amazing spider man #peter parker fluff #andrew garfield #peter parker blurb #spiderman #peter parker x reader #andrew garfield x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #spiderman x you #spiderman fanfiction #andrew garfield spiderman x reader #tasm peter parker x reader

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hermannsthumb · 2 years ago

Note

Could you do the prompt 60 our friends have been hosting a secret santa for years but I just got your name for the first time and I finally feel comfortable giving you this thing I bought for you two years ago

60. our friends have been hosting a secret santa for years but I just got your name for the first time and I finally feel comfortable giving you this thing I bought for you two years ago

from winter prompts here

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! i’ve been a little busy with some irl stuff so it was so nice to have some writing time finally :) enjoy a short little fic about some dumb boys

------------------------------

“This isn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated,” Hermann says.

He bestows a very, very rare smile on Newt, the sort that makes Newt feel a little warm under his collar, and which only makes an appearance after he’s had a decent amount to drink at whatever Shatterdome party Newt’s managed to talk him into that weekend. This sort of sentiment is high praise from Hermann, to be quite honest, so Newt will take it very, very enthusiastically. He slings an arm around Hermann’s shoulders with a grin and pulls him in close. Hermann goes a little rigid, but relaxes quickly—another win. “Thanks, dude,” he says. “Glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

It’s the annual holiday party this weekend, which is ominously less crowded than it’s been in previous years. Newt knows—with an uncomfortable, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he’s doing his best to avoid—that this is almost definitely because they’ve lost half their staff the past year to either kaiju attacks or random budget cuts, but it’s depressing him to think about it, so he makes a point not to. Bright side, more chances of getting Hermann (who hates crowds) to tag along with him now. Newt loves bringing Hermann to parties, because it means he has someone to bitch to and if they’re both tipsy and feeling ridiculous enough they’ll make intense eye contact for a while and maybe very slightly almost kiss. Hermann always ignores him the next day and pretends it never happened, of course, but it always rocks pretty hard anyway. Maybe one day they’ll actually seal the deal. “I wouldn’t go that far,” Hermann says.

“Okay, fair,” Newt says. “I’m glad you’re not...miserable?”

“Acceptable,” Hermann says.

He smiles at Newt, and Newt smiles back, plucking at the shoulder of Hermann’s sweater. It’s his festive sweater, the one he wears to the New Year’s party every year too, even though it kind of just looks like a normal sweater (except a little more sparkly, like he got glitter on it once and never managed to wash it out), so Newt’s not really sure what makes it festive. He’s never felt like pressing the question, so he’ll probably never know. It is pretty cute on him though. Anyway, there’s more important stuff to think about now—Hermann’s giving him the kind of big doe eyes that usually precede Newt almost-getting a little kiss. Maybe tonight will be the night. But instead of giving Newt a little almost-kiss, or a real little kiss, Hermann just says, suddenly, “I picked you for the exchange.”

Newt blinks at him. “Oh. You did?”

Hermann nods.

“Cool,” Newt says. “But, um, isn’t that supposed to be, like, a secret?” He thinks that’s kind of the point of it all. Hermann doesn’t usually participate in the gift exchange, though, so maybe he just doesn’t understand the rules. Newt’s own pick was a LOCCENT tech he’s only ever spoken to once or twice in his whole time here. He kinda half-assed it a little with a gift card for the last coffee chain still standing within driving distance of the base, but those guys seem to run on caffeine, so whatever, it won’t go unappreciated.

“I was getting impatient,” Hermann says. “Anyway, I’m meant to give it to you tonight, aren’t I? Shouldn’t really matter when.”

Newt wonders if the gift is a kiss. He’s just tipsy enough to ask Hermann if it is, and maybe flutter his eyelashes a little, but then Hermann pulls out a small snowflake-patterned gift bag from beneath the table and pushes it at Newt. He looks very pleased with himself. “I confess,” he says, “that I’ve had this for some time.”

So apparently Hermann is very into gift exchanges. “That excited, huh?” Newt says.

He picks at the tissue paper: Hermann did a messy wrapping job, so it’s sticking out unevenly and torn in places, but it adds to the charm, to be honest. He can imagine Hermann sitting at his desk after hours and trying and failing to do his usual meticulous job of things. Hermann shakes his head. “Er, not quite. I purchased it for you—” He clears his throat. “Well. Do you remember a couple years ago, I broke that coffee mug you were fond of? The silly one, that changed colors?”

Newt makes a face at the memory. It hadn’t been one of their better moments—they’d each been awake and hard at work for over forty-eight hours at that point, and Hermann’s hands had been trembling so badly when he fixed them instant coffee that he’d knocked the contents of the kitchenette counter into the sink. The mug had shattered almost instantly. Newt had started shouting at him almost instantly, too, and Hermann shouted back, and they hadn’t spoken for a week afterwards, too hot-headed and pissed off. It had sentimental value, is all (just some dumb underwater scene with fish that appeared when you poured in something hot), or Newt wouldn’t have been anywhere near as pissed. Or like, pissed at all. He got it from the aquarium when he was a dumb kid starting his first semester of college. “Ugh,” he says, “don’t remind me.”

He plucks out the tissue paper and tosses it to the side. Inside the bag is a mug. Not, in fact, the mug that Hermann broke, but one in the same vague wheelhouse, an underwater scene dotted with little fish and scratched with age. Hermann is looking at him with barely-concealed glee. “I found it online,” he declares. “The exact same one. It took me a bloody long time to do it, too, so I hope you’re pleased with it, though I confess—” He goes a bit pink in the face. “Er. Well, this was technically some time ago. A year. Or two. Right about when I broke it, really. Only I was a bit cross with you,” he continues, quickly, “so I didn’t want to give it to you, and then far too much time passed, so I decided to simply wait for the right excuse. Is it alright? Do you like it?”

Newt picks the mug up. It’s nothing at all like the old one, really, and Newt’s not even really convinced this one changes colors, but Hermann looks so excited that Newt knows he can’t even think of confessing that. Instead he smiles and nods his head. “I love it, Hermann,” he says, and it’s not a lie. “It’s perfect.”

Hermann almost sags with relief. He looks like he might hug Newt, and then like he might take Newt’s hand, but he settles with an awkward, lingering pat to his shoulder. Newt thinks he might be a little in love with him. “Very good, then, Newton,” Hermann says.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag

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violetlilysunshine · 3 years ago

Text

Plenty of Times

Boyfriend Chris Evans x Female Reader

Requested - Anon: Hey! Is it all right to request for Chris Evans where reader comes in after a girls night and just dotes on him and loves on him and its sickeningly fluffy and he’s like what’s gotten into you? and reader breaks down because one of her friends vented that her husband is abusive and neglectful and she sees how important it is to have a good man in her life 🤍

WC: 1,619

Warnings: Pet names [bubba, babe, honey], talk of a bad relationship [neglectful husband - but not about Chris/reader], mention of phone sex [but it doesn’t happen here]

A/N: I’m so so so so sorry this took so long, I’m working on clearing out my inbox though!

IF YOUR NAME IS SCRATCHED OUT I CAN’T TAG YOU - I’VE STARTED REMOVING PEOPLE, SO IF IT’S NOT WORKING AND YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED SHOOT ME A MESSAGE AND WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT

MASTERLIST - Join my TAGLIST

You haven't gone out with your friends in so long. You’re all busy with your own stuff - work and relationships, some with kids to care for. So, when the opportunity arises, Chris encourages you to take advantage of it.

The night was pretty simple, dinner, a couple of glasses of wine, and a few shared desserts before everyone was ready to head home. Most of your friends were not night owls like you by any standard, so when dinner wrapped up early, it was no surprise. At least that meant you got to go home to your man.

“Bubba?” you called as you walked through the front door.

“In here,” he answered.

You followed his voice to the living room, finding him lounging on the chaise sofa, Dodger soundly asleep next to him. Some movie played on the screen; you hadn’t paid attention to it long enough to know what it was.

You headed to the connected kitchen, dropping your keys and purse on the island, hanging your jacket on the back of one of the barstools, and slipping out of your boots before hurrying back to Chris.

He paused the movie when he heard you approach him from behind. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your hands splayed across his chest, as you pressed a long kiss to his temple.

He hummed at the contact, placing one hand over the top of both of yours, before turning his neck to meet your lips with his.

The kiss was sweet and simple, you could feel him smile against your lips as you lingered longer and longer into it.

He chuckled when you finally pulled away, a big smile etched across his face and a glimmer in his eyes.

You unraveled from his neck and stepped around the sofa. Dodger finally perked up when he heard you walking and you greeted him of course.

“Hey, bub,” you whispered, scratching Dodger’s head for a second before turning to Chris, “can we cuddle?” you asked quietly.

“Sure, babe, we can always cuddle,” he answered with a small smile, opening the blanket for you.

You slipped under, resting between his legs with your back on his chest. He wrapped the blanket and his arms around you, splaying his palms over your upper chest and rubbing gently, just as you had done to him. You ran your nails over his arm as light as a feather with one hand, the other rested on top of his clasped hands, tangling your fingers with one set of his as best you could in this position.

You tugged on his hand, pulling his arm further over your shoulder so you could place kisses on his bicep.

“How was girl’s night?” he asked, placing a light kiss to the top of your head.

“Fine,” you whispered, squeezing his hands for a second, “was nice to see everyone. They all seemed to need a good vent,” you ended with a breathy chuckle.

You felt his laugh rumble through your body, “don’t they always?” he asked, another kiss being placed on top of your head as he looped his legs around yours.

“Seems like,” you giggled, stroking his calf with your foot.

“Well I hope it was nice either way,” he said, “I’m glad you got to see them.”

“Mm, yeah, me too,” you answered quietly.

He slipped one hand from your grasp to grab the remote, causing a whine to leave your lips, disappearing into his skin as you had your lips placed on his bicep again.

He chuckled at the noise, “want me to start it over?” he nodded, making reference to the movie.

“No, it’s okay,” you whisper, pressing another lingering kiss to his arm.

“You sure? I’m not that far into it...”

“I’m sure, I won’t really be paying attention anyway.”

“Why’s that?” he asked, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Can’t focus with you wrapped around me,” you giggled.

“Mm, yeah, sorry not sorry,” he laughed, playing the movie again.

You giggled, bringing his hand up to your lips to give it a kiss.

He gave his other hand back to you and you entwined your fingers with it as well, giving both of his hands small squeezes every once in a while.

You placed random kisses on his arms, pulling his hands up every now and again to press kisses to them as well. You didn’t want to do it too often, so you wouldn’t annoy him, but you couldn’t help but give him a few.

You tilted your head to look up at him, his eyes focused on the movie before he looked down at you.

“What’s up?” he asked, his voice sounding a little tired.

“Nothing,” you whispered, passing him a small smile.

“You’re lying,” he said, placing a kiss on your forehead, “what’s on your mind?”

You sighed deeply, “have I told you how much I love you?”

He reached over and paused the movie, quickly tangling his hand with yours again: “all the time,” he smiled.

“And how great you are?”

“Plenty of times,” he chuckled.

“And how thankful I am for you?”

“More than once,” he answered, a sense of questioning coming into his voice.

“And how kind and good you are to me?”

“Never in those words, but you deserve it more than anything,” he said, “where’s this coming from?”

“Jenn was really upset tonight,” you started.

“And that has to do with me, how?”

“She was talking about how rough her marriage is. And I know everyone says the first year is the hardest, but he doesn’t prioritize her, and never really has, and if I’m being honest I always thought she could do better; and she feels so disconnected from him and he’s so distant and she’s just not happy,” you rambled, tears pricking at your eyes, “and of course the whole time she was talking I felt so bad for her, but I couldn’t help thinking that I’m so lucky to have a guy like you and that made me feel even worse. Ya know? Like guilty because I was sitting there thinking ‘well at least I’m not in her shoes,’ and, god, you’re so good to me and I appreciate and love you so much. Don’t feel like I tell you that enough, but, you’re the best,” you finished, taking a deep breath.

“Honey,” Chris soothed, “you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, first off. It’s not your fault he treats her like crap, and all you can do is support her with whatever she chooses to do about it. She can leave, or they could go to therapy, or she might just ignore it all together, but the only thing you can and should do is listen to her vent and offer support, or sometimes advice if she asks for it.”

You smile, “I know, but it’s just a shitty situation. Like I wish she wasn’t going through it, because she’s great, and I wish he was as good to her as you are to me.”

“Well no one’s as good as me,” Chris joked, trying to lift your spirits.

You laughed lightly in response, turning over a little bit and scooting up so you could lay face to face with him.

“Second,” he continued, “I’m only giving you what you deserve. Wish I could do a lot more sometimes, if I’m honest,” he said almost under his breath as he wrapped his arms around your back.

“Chris, you do more than enough! I should be doing more for you!”

“Babe, you give me everything I could ever want,” he smiles, “you’re amazing. Wish I could do more, like I wish I wasn’t away from you so much. Don’t like leaving you, ever.”

“You’re the best,” you lean forward, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth, “you do plenty for me even when you’re away.”

“Not nearly enough,” he says, “gotta come up with something new for us.”

“We’ve done plenty of new things while you’re away.”

“Yeah? You think?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hey, without you, I never would’ve tried phone sex,” you giggle, “love trying new things as long as it’s with you. Especially that thing...”

He lets out a breathy laugh at that, “I love you too,” he says, referring back to your ramble but also your willingness to try anything for and with him.

You giggle, this time pecking his lips, “I don’t deserve you,” you whisper against his mouth.

“No, you don’t,” he says shortly.

You pull away from him, not expecting that to come out of his mouth.

“You deserve better,” he smiles, a glimmer in his eye again.

“You’re so corny!” you laugh loudly, causing Dodger to grumble next to Chris.

“Sorry, bub,” you laugh at Dodge.

“Let’s go to bed, yeah?” Chris suggests.

“What about the movie?” you ask, tipping your head towards the TV.

“Eh, won’t be able to pay attention now anyway, and I’ve lost the flow,” he shrugs.

“Sorry to interrupt,” you whisper, stroking a few fingers across his cheekbone.

“‘S alright,” he whispers, “like you better anyway.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, eyelids heavy as they start to flutter closed for a kiss.

Chris closes the distance between the two of you, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, “I love you,” he whispers into your mouth.

“I love you too,” you whisper back.

Your lips seal in a gentle kiss, and he brings a hand up to rest on your cheek before pulling back: “you can always make it up to me anyway,” he says, a smile giving away his attempt at being serious.

You laugh at him, “alright, bubba, let’s get you to bed.”

TAGLIST: @hogwartsmarvelmommy @tulipholland @cupids-crystals @sunwardsss @mrspeacem1nusone @elishi03 @golden-hoax @patzammit @serrendiipty @katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict @high-on-darren-criss @gnemgn @amelia-song-pond @scorpiowidow @multixfandomwriter @wildxwidow @na-nou83 @fdl305 @gotbangtan @dumbhead1 @evansxchalamet

#chris evans #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x fem reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans oneshot #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans fanfic #cevans fluff #cevans #cevans x reader #cevans x female reader #violetlilysunshine #violetwrites

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scuttling · 3 years ago

Text

If I Should Linger

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,979 (what is wrong with me??) Tags: 18+, NSFW, Best Friend's Dad Hotch, Confident reader, Flirting, Oral sex, Protected sex, Dirty talk, A little angst with a happy ending Summary: Your best friend stands you up at the bar, but it actually turns into the best night you've had in a long time—maybe the best night of your life. Unfortunately, things don't stay uncomplicated for long... *Requested by @hotforhotchner11 Link to A03 or read below! “I can’t believe you stood me up to have sex with a frat boy,” you hiss into your phone from your seat at the bar. Your best friend Julie—better known as Jay—is on the other end, and she’s completely ruining your plans for the evening at later than the last minute. She’s never on time for anything.

“He’s not a frat boy… yet. He’s rushing.” You pick up your gin and tonic to take a sip, but her comment makes you pause.

“He’s rushing? How old is he?” The breath she blows out before she answers tells you everything you need to know. Goddamn cradle robber.

“Twenty? Or, almost twenty.”

“Oh, you nasty girl. He’s nearly ten years younger than us.” At 28, you literally could not imagine being interested in a 20 year old. Anyone under 25 is practically an infant; what would you talk about?

“The pussy wants what it wants, babe. It’s more fun when they barely know what they’re doing.” Then again, you figure, she isn’t exactly doing much talking.

“That’s gross, Jay.”

“Is it any grosser than your thing for older guys? You’d fuck my dad if I let you anywhere near him, which is exactly why I don’t.”

“I would not fuck your dad—actually, what does he look like?” She groans down the line and you laugh. “I’m kidding. I’m trying to fuck someone’s dad tonight, but not yours.” You hear a choked laugh from beside you and you glance over at, objectively, one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen: he’s Black, bald, muscular, with a neatly trimmed goatee and a killer smile, and apparently your thirst for older men amuses him. You smile back. “Jay, I have to go; I’m embarrassing myself in public.”

“Okay, and what else is new? Bye!” When she hangs up, you lock your phone and turn to face the man at the bar.

“Sorry about that. Sometimes I forget people are actually listening in places like these; there’s so much talking it’s all kind of white noise to me.”

“It’s kind of my job to listen to what no one else does, but I forget to turn it off sometimes,” he says, and no, that’s not intriguing or anything. “So you’re into older guys?” he asks with a raised eyebrow, and you lean in with your chin in your hand, elbow on the bar.

“Almost exclusively. You don’t look old enough to be someone’s dad, but I’d probably make an exception.” He laughs again; he doesn’t have a drink, so maybe he’s waiting for the bartender, but you sip yours.

“I’m flattered, but taken. I have a friend who’s probably your type; he doesn’t do one night stands, though. He doesn’t really do anything. We’re trying to loosen him up.” You hum thoughtfully, take a cursory glance around the room.

“I happen to be great at loosening older men up. Is he here?” He shoots you a smile, looks at you like you kind of amaze him.

“You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Would you, if you weren’t taken?” He nods a little, like you’ve got a good point, and you both laugh. “Yeah, it’s a double standard. If you can walk up to a woman and ask her if it hurt when she fell from heaven, why can’t I walk up to an older man and ask if he believes in love at first sight, or if I should walk by again?”

“That tired line would not work on my friend,” he says, and you grin.

“I think you’d be surprised. But, you know him better, so why don’t you just invite me back to your table, since I got stood up by my friend and I’m all alone, and let me do my thing?” You swirl your straw in your drink, try to look flirty, and he leans in on his elbow like you did before.

“You know what? What the hell. If nothing else, he gets some attention from a pretty girl and maybe it boosts his confidence.” You smile—you like this guy already.

“Aw, you think I’m pretty?” He rolls his eyes, and then the bartender presents him with his drinks. You take two—one is a neat bourbon, that has to belong to the older man friend—and follow him to his table while he just shakes his head.

“Looks like you brought back more than drinks,” a pale woman with dark hair and bangs says with a smile when the two of you approach the table. He hands her one of the beers, takes the cocktail from your hand and gives it to a petite blonde with fair skin.

“Her friend bailed on her and we got talking at the bar, so I invited her to come sit with us.” You introduce yourself to the group, and the friend Derek mentioned might be your type? Egregious understatement.

He’s everything you like in an older man: polite, well-spoken, handsome, clean shaven, with a great head of thick, dark hair—he’s wearing an expensive watch, a goddamn suit, a tailored suit that fits him perfectly, and if Jay were here, you’d be catching her attention and panting like a dog, with your hands up near your face.

To someone without your more refined palate for older gentlemen, he may look like an average white guy in his early fifties, but you have to look down to make sure your panties haven’t dropped involuntarily. Just in case.

“Is this seat taken?” you ask, gesturing to the one next to him, and he shakes his head, pulls it out for you before he sits back down—yes, he stood when you approached the table. Manners, check. You’re trying not to drool.

You smooth out your skirt before you take your seat—you always dress for the man you want to attract, and tonight is no exception, so you’re wearing a black lace dress and nude heels; the dress is fitted, but not clingy, and not too short, and you know the right kind of man will find it appealing. So far, your handsome potential love interest Aaron seems to be looking respectfully; that may change, but you’re happy to see it, for now.

“So Derek mentioned you’re all in the FBI; are you the boss? You look like the boss,” you say with a playful smile, and Aaron looks a little nervous when he nods, makes eye contact.

“Until someone decides to overthrow me,” he jokes, deadpan, and your smile gets brighter. Dry sense of humor, check.

“I’d like to see them try; I definitely sense that you can handle your own.” Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Derek hiding a smile behind his hand. He knows you’re flirting, even if no one else does, and another reason you hope to take Aaron home is so you can wipe that smile off his face—but mostly because Aaron’s gorgeous, and you know it would be a very good time for the both of you.

“Let’s play darts,” Derek says to the other people at the table—you can’t remember their names at the moment, all your attention focused on Aaron—and they get up and walk over to the board, so it’s just the two of you.

Aaron clears his throat. “Thank you. What do you do for work?”

“I’m in publishing; a copy editor. Mostly Tom Clancy type action novels, and romance novels. Lots of heaving bosoms and cries of overwhelming pleasure, you know?” You take a sip of your drink through the straw, looking over at him as innocently as you can. He’s a little flushed; you’re a huge fan of that look on a man. “Do you ever read romance novels?”

“Uh, no. Not my genre.” He takes a sip of his drink, and you watch his mouth while he does.

“Not mine either. When you edit enough of them, they become wholly unsexy… and they never compare to real life.” You flick your eyes over his body, briefly but not subtly, and he gives you a glance back. Your heart beats a little faster in your chest. “So what do you like to read? Wait, may I guess?” you ask, setting a hand on his arm. He nods, and you carry on, leaning just a little closer. “So I’m going to guess you’re a fan of the classics, novels you’ve read a hundred times. I think you would tell me your favorite is To Kill a Mockingbird,” you say, tapping against his sleeve, “and maybe intellectually it is, but you actually feel more when you read Moby Dick. I bet your heart yearns for adventure—not that life as a crime solving FBI agent is boring, but it's all too real. Moby Dick is the perfect blend of adventure and fantasy for a man like you.”

“You’ve known me for all of ten minutes,” he says with a raised eyebrow, and you shrug and take a drink.

“True. But am I right? Or close?” He smiles, the first full, unguarded expression he’s given tonight, and you feel awesome for making that happen.

“My favorite book is Moby Dick. I make a point to read it at least twice a year. You’re good.”

“Thank you.” You pull back, take your hand off of his arm; you’ve laid the groundwork for touching, and he’ll have to make a move if he wants more. “People often tell you a lot they don’t intend to, and books are my thing, so it’s easy for me to connect the dots. I recommend books to people as a kind of party trick.” You stir your drink, and he shifts a little, sitting closer.

“Have you disappointed many people with your recommendations?”

“Oh, I make it a personal mission to never leave anyone disappointed,” you say, your voice low and sweet like honey. His eyes move to your mouth. You sweep your tongue over your bottom lip. “Derek said your friends are trying to get you to loosen up; can I ask why?” He flicks his eyes up to yours, frowns a little, like he’s not sure that’s something he’s ready to tell you; ultimately, he just sighs.

“I’ve been divorced for five years, alone for five years. They think it’s time I…” He trails off, shrugs.

“Get back in the saddle?” you offer, and he laughs lightly, agrees. “Is that something you’re interested in? You shouldn’t feel pressured into it if you’re not ready.” You might want to sleep with him so badly it’s sickening, but not at the expense of his well-being.

He exhales deeply and lifts his arm to rest it on the back of your chair; you want to smile, but the conversation doesn’t call for it, so you hold off.

“I think I’m ready, but how do you really know?” You turn toward him a little more, lean against his arm; it feels easy, comfortable, almost like a real date and not you flirting like your life depends on it and hoping to get a bite.

“I think you should wait to meet someone who makes you feel a spark, and then explore it. Maybe it burns hot, but doesn’t last. Maybe it’s a slow burn. Maybe it’s a bit of both. I think when you’re really ready to put yourself out there, you’ll know.” He holds your gaze, wets his lips, takes a breath.

“You’ve been flirting with me.” You do smile a little, then.

“Yes, Aaron, I have.”

“Did Derek put you up to it?”

“Absolutely not.” You touch his arm again, gentle, lean in close. “I’m genuinely interested in you. You’re everything I’m attracted to in a man.” His smile doesn’t touch his eyes.

“Old and uptight?”

“Older, and kind, and capable of having a conversation about more than just sports and money, and handsome. Very handsome.” You lift your fingers from his arm, brush them through his hair over his temple. “I feel a spark. Do you?”

“Yes,” he breathes, and when you set your hand on the table, he covers it carefully with his. His hand is big, warm, softer than you’d expected, and you’re met with the sudden urge to feel it all over your body. “I feel a spark.”

“Good. Do you want to come home with me tonight? No strings attached—just to get you back in the saddle,” you say with a tilt of your head, and he nods.

“I want to.” You’re certain that the smile that crosses your face is softer, inviting, but you get the feeling he won’t kiss you while his friends could be watching. You’re actually surprised he’s touching you so openly.

“Okay, so why don’t you give me a ride home? I was going to have to call an Uber, since my friend didn’t show up, but you’re a gentleman, aren’t you? You wouldn’t let me do that.” He catches on to what you’re saying, the excuse you’re giving him to give his friends, makes a noise of understanding.

“Of course. I wouldn’t rest not knowing you made it home safely.”

“I’m not sure how much rest you’ll be getting tonight,” you murmur, and you rest your free hand on his thigh under the table, squeeze a little. He’s very firm, and you kind of melt. “But that’s a very sweet sentiment, Aaron. Are you committed to staying here much longer?”

“Not at all. Would you like to leave now?” You hold his gaze for a moment, want to be really sure about this; you’re no expert on body language, but you’ve been here before, and he really does look less tense than when you first showed up, more comfortable and open. All really good signs.

“Yes, please.” He squeezes your hand, then stands, smooths out his jacket, and tells you he’ll be right back while he goes to say goodbye to his friends. You stand too, finish what’s left of your drink, and pull out your phone to text Jay.

Taking home the most incredible man. Guess I don’t need my wingwoman after all.

J: Tell grandpa I said he better treat you right.

Please. He’s not that old. If anything, you can call him daddy. :P

J: You can call him daddy. Have fun ;) The ride to your apartment starts out quiet, but you try to fill it by asking Aaron more about himself. You keep your hands on him while you chat, leaning as close to him as you can while wearing your seatbelt, running your hand up and down his leg, over his arm while he shifts gears. You know it’s turning you on, and you’re fairly certain it’s turning him on as well.

You learn more about his job, that he basically solves crimes by judging people, which is kind of funny; before that, he was a lawyer, which you can definitely see. He has one child, a daughter who’s upset with him because of the divorce (someone’s dad, check), and a brother who lives in New York, no living parents. It’s more information than you usually get out of someone you plan to sleep with, but you really do like him, and since he’s not the one night stand type, you think more conversation is the right way to go.

He asks about you too, about your family and your job and your lame friend who bailed on you, and when he arrives outside your building, parks in the lot, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean in closer, smoothing a hand over his waist.

“I’m really glad I met you tonight,” you breathe, looking up at him, and he puts his hand on your cheek and you meet for a slow, easy kiss. “Hmm. I knew you’d be good at that.”

“I knew you’d be good at that, too. You have the most beautiful lips.” He brushes his fingers over them, and you take his hand, bring two of them into your mouth to suck softly. His breath hitches, and you feel your panties getting damp. God, he’s gorgeous. “Let’s go inside,” he whispers, and you slip his fingers out, drop a hand to his lap where he’s—oh, so perfectly hard it’s unreal.

“We could get started out here, have a little adventure,” you say playfully, fully prepared for him to say he’d rather not, but he just licks his lips and looks at you like you’re going to be the death of him, but at least he’ll die happily. That’s another look you’re a huge fan of on an older man.

You undo his belt, his button and his zipper, pull his cock out of his pants; he’s of average length, thick, makes your mouth water, and you lean in to use that to your advantage, getting him wet with your saliva and then stroking him in your hand. You look up at his face, and he’s got his eyes closed, head back against the headrest—so fucking sexy. You reach your free hand under his shirt, where he’s hairy, strong, but a little soft, just the way you like it, and he opens his eyes and pulls you close for a kiss that’s a bit harder than the last.

“You’re absolutely perfect,” he sighs against your lips, and you press closer for another kiss. You almost regret the adventure comment now, because you want to undress him, and touch him, feel him all over, but you’ll just have to be patient. (That’s never been your strong suit.)

“Are you kidding? You are… everything. If I could build a dream man, he would literally be a copy of you.” He makes a sharp, self-deprecating sound, and you lean down to get him wetter, move your hand a little faster. “I’m completely serious. I’m a little upset I’ve been going to that bar for so long and our paths never crossed.” One of his hands moves to your hair, and he pulls you close for a kiss; he’s ready to come, you can tell, and you want him to more than anything, so you cover his hand with yours and dip your head, sucking his dick like you’re desperate for it. When it comes to Aaron, you’re kind of desperate for everything.

“Oh, god. That feels so good, baby.” You moan at the pet name—is there anything better in the world than an older man calling you baby? Maybe just Aaron specifically calling you baby—and he tightens his fingers in your hair while you glide over him, tight and wet, until he comes in your mouth.

You swallow it down, pull off breathless, and then swipe your tongue over him so he’s clean enough that you can tuck him back into his pants. You look up at him from his lap, and he’s panting too, rubs his fingers over your lips, your chin, down your throat. You’re desperately horny now, soaking wet, and when you shift to sit up, he catches you for a deep, steamy kiss, and that does nothing to help your situation.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, and ugh, your heart flutters. Seriously, who created this man? He’s incredible. “Now let’s go inside so I can make you come, too.”

“Definitely,” you agree with a nod, and you kiss him once more before pulling back and climbing out of the car, straightening yourself up. He does the same, then walks over to you, takes your hand, and follows you into your apartment.

Sex with Aaron is… talk about adventure. He fucks like—well, like he hasn’t done it in over five years. As soon as you get inside the door, he gets on his knees, pulls your panties down, lifts your skirt up, and eats your pussy with such enthusiasm you come with your hands in his hair, rocking against his face, in less than three minutes. Seeing him down on the ground in the full suit, just going to town on you, is not an image you’ll soon forget, that’s for sure.

After that, the two of you stumble to your bedroom, hands all over each other, tugging at zippers and discarding clothes—he has you keep your shoes on, and that makes you feel slutty like a porn star, and super hot—and you kiss, touch, moving your hands all over each other's bodies until he’s hard again. You stay in missionary, and after he slips on a condom from your bedside table, he slides into you, kisses your lips and your neck and your shoulders while he rolls his hips against yours.

It’s slow and sensual at first, and you drag your nails lightly across his back, tilt your head when he nips at your throat.

“Aaron, oh. You feel so good,” you breathe, scraping your fingers through his hair, and his thrusts get a little deeper, his kisses a little rougher.

“You’re incredible. So gorgeous.” He moves a hand to your breast, massages it while your bodies work; you hitch your legs up higher, moan, and pull him closer, your hands on his body, and he fucks into you more frantically, humping against you hard, wildly. You’ve never really gotten fuck you like an animal, but that’s kind of what he’s doing, and you’re into it, clinging to him, pushing into his thrusts like it’s possible to take him deeper than you are now.

God, he’s going to spoil you, ruin you for all other men. You’re going to have your best sex at 28 and then be chasing this feeling the rest of your goddamn life. It’s both amazing and horribly unfair.

“Yes, Aaron, yeah. Fuck me hard, fuck me deep.” He groans, pounds inside you, moves his hand from your breast to the back of your neck and stares down into your eyes while he absolutely destroys you. You come clenching around him, pulling his hair and digging your nails into his shoulder, and his mouth comes crashing down for a kiss while he thrusts through it and then stutters, his orgasm right behind yours.

You sag against the pillow behind your head, and he puts his weight on you, hand still clamped around the nape of your neck, and breathes hot against your throat.

You stare up at the ceiling, catching your breath, and thank fucking god Jay stood you up tonight. Aaron is very sweet, kissing you and holding you, murmuring against your skin, and the two of you go to the bathroom, get cleaned up, and then raid your kitchen for snacks, talking easily and laughing. He doesn’t look like he’s about to bolt, which you’d been a little worried about; in fact, he actually suggests taking your snacks back to bed, jokes about not getting any crumbs on your white sheets. Never one to kick a man out abruptly after sex, and especially not a man like Aaron, you agree, and you end up in bed again, which means…

Another frantically torn condom wrapper later, and you’re on your stomach, your nipples rubbing against the sheets. Aaron’s hands are on your ass while you work yourself on his cock, rolling your body, moaning desperately like you aren’t already two orgasms deep; his dick hits just right, and between that and the nipple stimulation you’re coming fast, bucking hard against him so he’ll follow.

“Fuck, baby, coming already?” He tightens his grip, slams inside you, plants one hand on the bed to change his angle a bit. “Let’s try for another; your body is so perfect, built for sex, built for me.” You groan, roll your eyes back because his dirty talk is hitting the spot, and the two of you fuck together, noisy and eager and hot, until he shudders, squeezes your ass hard and starts to come.

You’re so close, right on the edge, and you sound wild because of it, your moans high, whimpering, your fingers digging into the sheets.

“Yes, yes, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you beg, grinding against him, and he puts both hands hard on your hips, rails you into the bed.

“I’m not stopping until you come for me. Come for me,” he murmurs, and he wraps one hand around the front of your body, rubs your clit, and you climax, squeezing your eyes shut, seeing stars. You moan his name, drop your hand to cover his where it rests against your pussy, and this time when his body drapes across your back like a weighted blanket, you sigh and close your eyes.

He kisses your back and shoulders, runs his big hands over your hips and ass, then slides off and guides you to the edge of the bed, lifts you up and carries you to the bathroom. You think absently that you could get used to being treated this well, and you must say it, because he presses a kiss to your lips and whispers, “I will if you let me.”

There’s a little talk in bed, after you’re cleaned up and cozy beneath the comforter, about going on a real date; Aaron seems nervous, like he thinks you won’t go for it, that all you wanted was this night of sex. And yes, while that’s typically your MO, something about Aaron is different. He makes you want more, things like dates and picnics and sweet lovemaking at night and kisses—all the kisses, everywhere, all the time.

You ask him to stay, and he promises he will, and you fall asleep in his arms. It’s the best you’ve felt in a really long time.

You wake up to Aaron’s sleepy, handsome face, and you kiss and smile into each other’s lips, because last night was great, but this is even greater. Your plan is to take a shower together and then go out for breakfast, but there’s a knock at your door just as you’re planning to step in.

“You go ahead, I’ll catch up,” you tell him with a kiss, and you pull on your robe and peer through the peephole, then pull the door open. “Well, well; now you decide to show up.”

Jay steps in with a box of doughnuts and two cups of coffee, looking properly shamed.

“I know, I’m a horrible friend. I broke the slut code: stay slutty, but never at the expense of your best girl.” You crack a smile, because you could never really be mad at her, but especially not after last night. You’re about to say that, but she looks over your shoulder at the clothes still strewn about your living room and grins. “Holy shit. Is your old man still here?”

“He’s not an old man, and yes, he’s in the shower, so shut up.” She shoves the doughnuts and coffee carrier into your hands and brushes past you, toward your bedroom, and you groan. “Jay, no, come on.”

“I just want to get a glimpse of him,” she says, peeking her head into your room. She sees more clothes, and the condom wrappers, looks back at you with a cocked eyebrow. “Okay, someone had a good time last night.”

“Yes, it was fucking incredible. He’s a sex god, I’m not even kidding. He ate my pussy like he hasn’t had a meal in months, then fucked me twice, so hard and sexy, and then he asked me if he could take me on a date, Jay.” You smile wide, can’t help it. “I really like him, so I actually owe you for not coming out last night.” She smiles back, pulls you close for a hug, and you step back with your hands on her shoulders. “So thank you, and thanks for coming to apologize, but can you please leave? I really don’t want to miss out on some potential good morning shower sex.”

She rolls her eyes, but it’s all from a place of love, and she turns to head out of your room.

“Okay, but only because cockblocking you would mean breaking the slut code again, and I can’t have my membership card revoked. I have a date with the almost frat boy again tonight.” She grins, and you shake your head, pull off your robe when you hear the door shut and head for the shower.

Good morning shower sex has never been so good. One month and twelve dates later, and you’re head over heels for Aaron. He is so sweet, and smart, and secretly funny, the perfect gentleman when you’re in public and an absolute manic in private, and you seriously could not have imagined a more perfect man.

Jay is maybe a little tired of hearing you talk about him.

You’re out for breakfast on a Saturday morning—Aaron is on a case in Indiana, or you’d probably be with him—and she sighs around a bite of french toast.

“I get it, he’s the best lay you’ve ever had in your life. He makes your pussy wet and your heart horny, or whatever. When do I get to meet the old man who’s got you wrapped around his big sexy fingers?”

“He’s supposed to be home tonight, maybe I’ll see if he’s feeling up to drinks?” Sometimes he’s really worn out after these cases, and you don’t blame him, but occasionally they must touch him in a way that makes him want to enjoy life, because you’ve had some nice dates the same day he gets back. You’ll ask, and if he’s not up for it, you’ll reschedule.

“Ooh, yes. I can’t wait to finally get a good look at the hunk who turned my maneater best friend into a monogamous whore.” You gasp, affronted, and she cackles, takes a sip of her iced coffee. Sometimes you can’t even remember why you’re friends—but she never fails to do something completely unexpected and sweet that reminds you eventually. “Hey, maybe now that you’re obsessed with this guy, you can finally meet my dad, since I don’t have to worry about you trying to suck his dick at first sight.”

You know that Jay’s relationship with her dad has been a little rough since her parents split up, and you’ve always thought that maybe you could get her to open up to him, to talk to him, if you could get to know him, but her fears about your taste for older men have always been hilariously real. As if you can’t control yourself; as if you’d ever actually date her dad.

“Well I’ll have to ask my old man; maybe he’s down for a threesome?” It’s her turn to act offended, and you laugh and send Aaron a text about this evening before you forget.

Can’t wait to meet the infamous Jay, he replies, and you won’t lie, you’re feeling really good about your two favorite people finally getting to know each other.

That night, you and Aaron beat Jay to the bar, because of course you do—that bitch is never on time for anything.

You’re feeling cute in a sexy turtleneck dress (the neck of which Aaron tugged down to place a hickey under when you rode him on the couch before coming here) and a set of earrings he bought you—you’re wearing a set of lingerie he bought you, too for later—and he looks gorgeous in a dark blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

You can barely keep your hands off of him, squeezing his thigh, kissing his neck; you only give him an inch of space when he gets up to run to the restroom, and even then, the way he smiles and presses his lips to yours before he goes makes you want to cancel drinks and take him home so you can be alone.

But Jay asked to meet him, and you have been a little obsessed lately, so you want to do this and make her happy.

You look down at your phone, ready to hit her with some inflammatory where the fuck are you??? texts, when she drops into the seat Aaron had just vacated, breathless.

“Sorry, sorry. Traffic was really bad, and I got into this huge fight with my mom on the phone...” She pulls off her jacket, drapes it over the back of the seat.

“Is everything okay?” you ask, concerned. The two of them usually get along pretty well.

“Yeah, she’s just pissed because my dad has a new girlfriend—which is stupid, because she’s the one who wanted to divorce him, so why does she care? But anyway, I told her I’d meet her and be nice to her, because it’s important to him, and she expects me to take her side or something. I don’t know. Let’s just say I’m really glad I’m out for drinks with you and your old man so I can forget about my problems for a while.” She takes a deep breath for practically the first time since she started talking, then looks around, realizes it’s just the two of you. “Hey, where is he, anyway?”

“Restroom,” you say with a smile, but something more must creep onto your face, because she rolls her eyes playfully.

“And you didn’t follow him in there for a little stall action?”

“Ew, no. That’s more your speed than mine; we had sex before we came, anyway, look at this hickey.” You pull the neck of your dress down and she whistles, impressed.

“Congrats on having such good pussy, babe. I know you’re sickeningly obsessed with him, but it looks to me like he’s got it bad for you too.” You grin, instinctively want to gush over him, but you see him walking over out of the corner of your eye, so you hold off.

He’s frowning, though, and you’re not sure why.

“Julie?” Jay whips her head around at the sound of Aaron’s voice, and her eyes get wide.

“Dad? What are you…” You stand up abruptly, looking up at Aaron, and Jay stands too, looking between you, confused. “What are you doing here?”

“I… We…” He swallows, looks at you like you’ve both made a terrible mistake. You’re surprised how much that look hurts, but you know you have to take care of Jay before you can feel sorry for yourself.

“Jay, listen to me, okay? I swear to god I didn’t know.” You’re begging, pleading with your eyes, your hands on her shoulders. “I did not know.” She shakes her head like it’s not making sense, but when she lets herself connect the dots, she brings up a hand to cover her mouth.

“Oh my god. Are you fucking kidding me?” She pulls away from you, looking at you like you punched her in the face. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Jay, I didn’t—”

“Julie,” Aaron says, reaching for her, but she steps back, palms up.

“I seriously can’t believe this. You two… After every joke we made about me keeping you away from him?” She looks at you like you betrayed her, and you exhale, shrug sadly.

“It’s not like I went looking for him, Jay. We just… found each other.” You don’t look at Aaron, because if the last month hasn’t meant the same things to him, you’ll have to be okay with that. “I know it’s shocking, and I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what it feels like to find this out, this way.”

“You’re right, you can’t imagine. I just fought with my mom about my dad’s new girlfriend, and it’s-it’s you.” She laughs, humorless.

“You fought with your mom? When?” Aaron asks, crossing his arms, and it’s so clear how much he cares about Jay. Her eyes fly to his.

“On the fucking way here. She told me about your new slut girlfriend, and I was defending you! I told her I’d meet her if you asked me to, that I’d be nice because I know she’s important to you! And it’s you,” she practically spits, turning to you. “Such a whore that you’ll fuck anyone over forty who can still get it up, including my fucking father.” Her tone stings, and people are looking at the three of you, but you take a breath, remind yourself that she’s just angry right now, and she loves you, doesn’t mean that.

“Julie, that's enough. I’m taking you home and we can talk about this there.” Aaron steps past her, picks up her jacket, and glances over at you, but you’re collecting your things and and pulling up a rideshare app to get yourself the fuck out of there.

You head for the bathroom to wait it out until your ride comes, and you definitely don’t cry because the two people who bring you the most happiness in the world are gone and they barely even looked back. It’s five days before Jay shows up at your door with apology doughnuts and a bottle of rosé. You eat and drink and cry on each other, and then laugh at each other, and your heart feels a little healed by the end of it.

“I’m sorry I called you a whore. It’s just… what are the odds, after everything we said, that you would actually hook up with my fucking dad.” You laugh and take the last bite of your doughnut.

“You don’t think I was a little startled by that turn of events? I was as shocked as you. I knew he had a daughter around my age, but that’s not really what we talked about, you know?” She shoves half a doughnut in her mouth and cackles.

“You don’t talk a whole lot, from what I’ve gathered.”

“Didn’t,” you say, and your whole mood shifts. She looks confused. “We didn’t talk a whole lot. He hasn’t spoken to me since the night you found out.” She pulls out her phone, starts texting.

“Okay, I told him I was okay with you guys like, two days ago, so this probably means he’s spiraling. He tends to do that—get in his own head and beat himself up for things that aren’t his fault.” She looks up from her phone, gives you a soft smile. “Will you forgive me if I tell you he’s moping at home right now, and that I know he’ll be happy to see you?” You roll your eyes a little.

“I already forgive you, Jay, but if he hasn’t called me, maybe there’s a reason. Maybe he was looking for an out, and I gave him one, or maybe he can’t feel the same way I do because he knows we’re friends.”

“He told my mom about you, remember? He wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t serious about you, and I don’t think he’d be acting this emo if he didn’t have feelings for you.” She reaches out, covers your hands with hers. “I’m really, really sorry I fucked this up for you guys. Weirdness aside, I know what good people you both are, and I hate that you were happy and I took that from you guys. I’m 100% supportive of you being my future step-mom,” she says with a grin, and you roll your eyes again and give her a hug and then jump up to get a shower.

You’re going to go get your old man.

When you knock on Aaron’s door an hour later, he looks surprised to see you.

“I thought you’d be Julie,” he says softly, and you sigh.

“I know. She sent me. She wants us to get our heads out of our asses, but I told her I don’t know where your head is, because we haven’t spoken.” Seeing him makes you feel a little better, because he does look like he may have been moping the last few days, so that must mean the spark is still there, right? “If you want me to leave, just tell me, and I’ll go; I’ll get out of your life and you can pretend it was just a casual thing, if that’s what you want.” Your heart aches at the thought, but you’d understand, if being his daughter’s best friend is an obstacle he can’t overcome.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he says after a long, painfully drawn out moment. “I don’t want you to ever leave. And I could never pretend this was casual.” He steps forward—so handsome in a t-shirt and jeans it makes you long to press kisses all over his face, to hold him and be held by him—and his eyes are trained on yours. “I know nothing about us is conventional, but it doesn’t matter to me if it doesn’t matter to you. I want to be with you.”

You take a deep, calming breath, exhale and nod. Your hands ache to reach out and touch him.

“I want to be with you, but only if you can promise that if something comes up with Jay—Julie—we can figure it out together. I don’t ever want to feel the way I felt the other night, and while I get that you had to take care of your daughter, and I’m glad you two talked things out, I can’t just be abandoned if things get weird.” You approach him, wrap your arms around him, and sigh. He hugs you so tightly, rests his cheek against the top of your head.

“I promise. I know I could have handled that better, but the situation was just so...”

“I know, that’s okay. Family comes first—but just so you know, she gave me her full support to campaign to become her new step-mom,” you say, pulling back with a teasing smile, and he shakes his head and grins. “So, one last question: Are you ready to get back in the saddle, Aaron?” He leans in and kisses you so hard you’re breathless, weaves his fingers into your hair.

“Sounds like my kind of adventure.” Message sent with high importance: Do not disturb! Your dad’s indecent.

J: Gross. Thanks for the warning, mom.

That’s step-mom, to you. Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #ask answered #prompt #request

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cafedanslanuit · 4 years ago

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chapter guide | prev. chapter | next chapter

♣ — summary: when you told armin to pick up eren’s call while he was fucking you, you weren’t expecting things to escalate this quickly. not that you were complaining.

♣ — pairings: armin x reader, eren x reader, armin x reader x eren

♣ — chapter tags/warnings: oral sex (receiving), spanking, humiliation, degradation, semi-public, degradation kink, rough sex, mirror sex, alcohol and drugs.

♣ — a/n: thank you so much for all the love you’ve been giving this story so far! it makes me so happy you are all enjoying it so far. when i finished this chapter i realized the influence of halsey’s ‘strange love’ had lmao so if you have a chance, check it out. also this is a eren centric chapter while the next one will be centered around armin c:

chapter four: the bathroom sink

“Are you sure you don’t want to go? Last chance.”

Armin nodded, a soft smile on his lips. You were sitting on his bed, wearing a tiny black dress and high heels. You crossed your arms and legs, a small frown on your face.

“I’m sure. You’ve been wanting to go to Pieck’s party for a long time so you should go,” he said. “I just have too much work. I- my planning skills failed me,” Armin laughed softly.

“Can’t you do them when we get back? It’s the first party we’re attending with Eren. You know since…” you made a funny face, making you both laugh. “It was supposed to be fun for the three of us.”

Your boyfriend walked from his desk to his bed and cupped your face tenderly, thumb brushing against your pouting lip.

“Have fun for me,” he said, your frown deepening. “You look really, really beautiful, though.”

“How beautiful?” you teased him, leaning your head against his palm.

“Enough that I’m having a hard time telling you to go instead of staying here with me,” Armin replied, leaning in and pressing a kiss on the tip of your nose.

“Fine,” you sighed, rolling your eyes.

“C’mon. Tomorrow morning I submit my last paper and we can have lunch and then watch some movies together,” he offered.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he smiled. You grinned and grabbed his face, placing a lot of small, chaste kisses on his lips, loving the way he giggled at your action. “Go have fun, I promise I’ll come with you to the next one.”

“Not the same without you though,” you reminded him, pulling away and lacing your pinky fingers together.

“Yeah, but Eren’s going, right? You can have fun with him.”

Your eyes immediately shot up at him. “Fun?”

“You know, uh- fun ,” he shrugged, a light blush covering his cheeks as he put his hands inside his pockets. It took you a couple of seconds to understand what he was implying.

“ Oh , okay,” you said, nodding your head softly. “Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I mean it’s him, so,” Armin shrugged. You nodded and took his hand to your mouth, placing a kiss on his knuckles. “Still gonna miss you, though.”

Armin smiled, pulling you closer for one last kiss before you left his dorm.

• • •

Pieck’s parties were always a huge success. She only used to throw them twice a year and maybe that’s why they were so special. Everyone sent some money to her and she would make sure to buy enough alcohol and weed to keep everyone satisfied the rest of the night. A part of you thought it was almost impossible everyone’s donations could cover everything but Pieck always seemed more than pleased to put some of her own money for the party.

You had been friends with Pieck for quite some time now, hence why she let you bring some of your friends to the party. Last year you had brought Jean and Armin with you, which led to Jean and Pieck to start dating. You liked how good they looked with each other and that Jean had finally closed the Mikasa chapter and was trying something new. Pieck always seemed calm and collected, loving to nuzzle on Jean’s chest whenever they sat together. Nevertheless, you had also seen her break up a fight with her bare hands between two guys bigger than her. Since then you had a newfound respect and admiration for the brunette.

“Hey, where’s Armin?” Jean asked as he opened the door to let you and Eren inside.

“Got caught up with some projects,” you answered and Jean clicked his tongue. Eren and you took off your jackets and gave it to Jean for him to leave them in Pieck’s room.

“Sucks to be him. Porco and Reiner brought really good weed tonight,” he said as he made his way to the corridor.

Eren and you went to the living room, finding Pieck and her friends already starting with the bong. She complimented your dress and you grinned at her, spinning so she could see the back of it as well. After earning a couple of whistles from Pieck’s friends, you sat beside Eren.

“New dress?” he asked.

“Mmhm, bought it when Pieck said she was throwing another party,” you said. Eren laughed.

“I don’t know how you do this. I put on the first thing I saw in my closet,” he confessed and took the bong from Pieck. You took a moment to eye his black shirt and dark jeans.

“You don’t look so bad,” you commented, shrugging as Eren took a hit. “Is it really good?” you asked.

He hummed. “Want some?”

“I’d rather drink tonight. And last time I mixed weed and rum-”

“Yeah, I remember you sitting by the window with lost eyes like you were in another dimension” Eren chuckled, taking another hit. You hit him with one of the pillows to which he laughed harder.

Ever since the first time you had kissed him, Eren had made sure you didn’t feel uncomfortable around him. He behaved the same way he always did whenever he wasn’t thrusting inside of you as Armin stroked himself. Somehow it was really comfortable to know your friendship wasn’t in danger, that even if it had shifted to something entirely different he still found it in him to playfully nudge you during class or let you copy his notes if you shared a class.

One hour later, Pieck’s place was packed with people. The music was loud, big speakers filling the apartment as people danced around. Pieck had set a table only for booze and you couldn’t count all the bottles even if you tried. Whiskey, vodka, rum and cans of beer were on display for anyone to take and even if everyone already looked more than a bit tipsy, there was still alcohol to spare.

You watched amused as Eren played beer pong with Reiner, the cups filled with one shot of vodka instead of beer. Reiner won by a very short difference, which made Eren call a rematch, which he finally won. You played your own match with Porco but with beer, winning the match on your first try and making sure to remind him every chance you got the rest of the night, laughing at his pouty face. After dancing with some of your friends, you spotted Eren sitting on one of the sofas and went to sit next to him, asking how he was doing. Even if he swore he was okay, you noticed his head slightly swaying. You suggested dancing it off.

Next thing you knew, one of Eren’s hands was set on your hip as the other was placed on the small of your back, while you had your arms around his neck. The way his hips moving filling your mind with ideas of you riding him, his cock deep inside you as he grabbed your hair in his fist. Your eyes locked on his green ones for one moment before quickly shifting your gaze anywhere else but him. Even if you knew that if you were to make an advance he would be more than willing, you kept repeating to yourself that you weren’t alone. Pieck’s entire apartment was filled with people that knew you were Armin’s girlfriend. Honestly, most of them would take a second look if they saw how close Eren and you were dancing

Eren’s thigh moved forward until they were between your legs, your hips moving on their own against him. You cursed under your breath and then let out a small chuckle, looking back at your friend.

“You’re such an asshole,” you said. Eren raised his eyebrows, amused.

“Am I?”

Before you could reply, Eren had taken both of your hands and in a swift movement, made you spin until your back was against his chest. Not letting go of your hands, he placed them on top of your hips, pulling your ass against his crotch as he kept moving his hips to the beat of the song.

You felt as if every vodka shot you had taken with Pieck had gone straight to your head at once.

“Keep dancing,” Eren whispered against your ear, his voice sending bolts of pleasure directly between your legs.

Moving your hips to the music, you tried to focus on anything other than Eren’s semi-hard cock grinding against your ass. You looked around, afraid someone was going to notice but everyone seemed to be occupied on their own. You noticed Pieck straddling Jean on the couch as she danced on top of him, some other couples making out against the walls or dancing even more lavishly than you and Eren were. Still, you felt your knees getting weaker as you kept feeling his breath against your neck.

You arched your back and started throwing your hips back, your ass bouncing against Eren’s crotch along with the beat of the music. You felt his hands tensing over yours, grabbing your hips much harder as you danced.

Maybe nothing else would have happened if you hadn’t looked over your shoulder. Maybe someone would have whistled and you would have been brought to reality, remembering what everyone thought your status was and how inappropriate they were acting. But you did look over your shoulder, eyes locking for a couple of seconds with Eren, which was more than enough for him to drag you to one of the bathrooms and locking the door behind you.

Eren kissed you roughly as your back hit the bathroom sink, his hands roaming around your body.

“Wait, fuck- can we- is it okay if he?” he tried to ask in between the kiss, his body and mind colliding against each other.

“Yeah,” you said breathless, running up your hands across his back. “He said it was fine.”

That was all Eren needed for his hands to travel up your legs and underneath your small dress. He tugged on your panties and lowered them to the ground and you stepped away, letting him pick them up and storing them in his back pocket. He stood up again, his lips colliding with yours as he grabbed the back of your thighs, helping you get on the counter. His mouth travelled down your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses until they reached the mount of your breasts, pressing his face against them and nipping on the skin gently, making sure not to leave marks.

He started lowering, kissing your stomach over your dress with his green eyes on yours as he sunk to his knees. His fingers trailed your skin from your ankles up to your thighs, spreading your legs apart gently until your pussy was in front of him. You looked at him, chest rising up and down from your ragged breathing as you watched him leave small kisses on the inside of your thighs.

“Only fair you get to come on my face this time,” he said. Not even the music outside the bathroom was loud enough for you not to hear him clearly, your legs twitching at his words. He smirked and pulled your legs apart wider as he trailed up a slow path of small kisses to your pussy.

As soon as he pressed his lips against your folds, both you and him noticed how wet you were. He hummed, the vibration of his voice making you breathe heavily, biting back a moan. Eren licked across your slit, collecting all your wetness with his tongue. It was the first time he was going down on you and damn if you weren’t already lightheaded. Plus, the fact you were doing it in your friend’s bathroom with everyone outside added a sultry element you seemed to enjoy.

Eren placed his mouth on you again, his tongue drawing teasing circles around your clit. You whimpered, your hand going to tangle on his hair, messy bun a bit dishevelled. He groaned against you, loving every time you pulled his locks and used the flat part of his tongue on your clit, earning new moans from you. He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder as he pushed the other one a little further apart, his mouth still moving on you.

He sucked gently on your clit and you threw your head back, hitting yourself with the mirror.

“Fuck-- Eren, please ,” you panted, your hips bucking against his face. Eren dug his fingers on the plush of your thighs as he kept moving his tongue, getting you closer and closer to your limit.

Eren began lapping exactly where you needed him, a hand shooting to your mouth to muffle your sounds as you whined. Your other hand tightened its hold on Eren’s hair. He let you keep his head in place as you rolled your hips against his face, setting your own rhythm as he saw you search for your high. As soon as he noticed your hips stuttering, its movements desperate, he grabbed your legs still again, his tongue directly playing with your clit.

You came on his mouth, a hand over your own as you tried your best not to make too much noise. Eren stayed a couple of moments after your orgasm, giving your pussy slow, delicate licks to help you ride your orgasm off.

“Told ya’ I owed you,” he huffed playfully, making you remember what he had told you after the first time you had given him head. You chuckled as he stood up, kissing you languidly. You could taste yourself in his mouth, your body reacting to him as if you couldn’t do anything else but press yourself against him.

Your hands started unbuttoning his shirt as he kissed your neck. Long ago you had come up with the rule of not leaving any marks on your skin. As much as you loved finding bruises and love bites whenever you were showering, you preferred that to be a thing just between Armin and you. Since you had made that request, Eren had been extremely gentle whenever he kissed your skin, letting his lips drag across your skin teasingly before placing a soft kiss.

“How do you like it?” he asked.

“Huh?” you asked, letting his shirt fall to the floor, your hands caressing his toned chest.

“Well, this is a fantasy,” he said, pulling away so he could look at your face, his lips brushing against yours. “So I want to make you feel good.”

Eren didn’t miss the way your legs clenched on either side of his waist. He went back to kissing the other side of your neck as you made up your mind, hands roaming around his back and hair as he did so.

He didn’t have to wait long for your answer.

“I want you to be rough with me,” you sighed. Eren pulled away once more and looked at you, one of his hands palming your breast.

“How rough?”

“Until I tell you to stop,” you breathed out, your back arching at his ministrations. Eren nodded and kissed you again, his tongue entering your mouth as you once again started losing focus of everyone that was happening.

In that moment, your mind was filled with his hand playing with your tits while the other one went back to your folds, his index and middle finger rubbing soft circles, making you moan against your mouth. Eren pulled away from you and you watched him take out his wallet and then a condom from it. He put it between his teeth and then undid his jeans, letting them fall to his ankles along with his underwear.

You could never get used to seeing Eren’s cock. A part of your brain still was shocked as you tried to remember this was your new normal, getting railed by your friend with your boyfriend’s permission. Your hand closed around his length and you started pumping him, his tip already leaking precum. Eren ripped the condom package and rolled it over himself all the way to the base.

You leaned over to kiss him again, this time his lips moving rougher on you. You tried locking your legs around his waist, wanting to feel his cock against you. Instead, Eren grabbed both your legs and yanked you down the counter and onto the floor. You stumbled a bit on your high heels but he quickly turned you around and bent you over the bathroom sink.

Eren lifted your dress until it was resting on your waist, your ass exposed to him. He parted your legs with his foot and then lined up his cock with your entrance. Only a couple of inches inside you was enough for you to let out a high-pitched moan, your hands grabbing on the faucet desperately, the stretch making your head spin.

A hard slap fell against your ass.

“Keep it the fuck down. Do you want everyone to know your boyfriend’s friend has his cock inside you?” he hissed. The determination of his voice made you clench around him. Eren grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your hair up, forcing you to look at your own reflection in the mirror.

You watched your eyes and parted lips as Eren kept pushing inside of you, a whimper escaping your lips once he bottomed out. He took your hands and put them against the mirror. His own hands slid down your back until they settled on your hips. He started thrusting against you, your breath creating a fog on the mirror in front of you. You let your head fall, biting your lip as he kept moving his hips.

One of Eren’s hands went to your jaw, making you look at yourself in the mirror once more. You could not only see your face flushed with desire but also how his hair was almost completely loose and falling over his forehead as he kept thrusting against you.

“Look at yourself. You love being fucked as a slut, don’t you?”

Once again his words stirred something deep inside you. You desperately tried to hold on to something, your hands sliding down against the mirror until you positioned them correctly again. Eren smacked your ass hard again.

“I asked a fucking question,” he grunted, giving a particularly harsh thrust.

“Yes- fuck, yes, I do,” you panted. Eren picked up his face and you felt your legs falter. “Keep going, please.”

His hand went back to holding your head up by your hair, the other one gripping your ass firmly. Eren’s grunts were barely audible due to the music outside but made you melt every time you heard them. You started moving your hips back, meeting his thrusts as you did your best not to make too much noise.

Eren slapped your ass again, making you clench against him. He threw his head back, cursing under his breath and let his hand fall on your ass once more. Only a couple more thrusts were needed for you to come around him as well, one of your hands flying to your mouth to try and muffle your loud moans.

You heard Eren curse again and fasten his pace, letting go of your hair and settling both his hands on your hips. His orgasm followed a few moments later and you heard him groan, his cock twitching inside of you. You squeezed him as he came down from his high, earning a soft chuckle from the man behind you.

“Stop, I literally have nothing left,” he joked, removing himself from you and discarding the condom in the bathroom bin.

You laughed along as he helped you stand up again, lowering your dress in the process. Thanking him, you looked at your reflection again, cleaning the eyeliner smudge on the outside corner of your eyes and fixing your hair. Eren pulled up his underwear and pants and once his clothes were back in place, he handed you your panties that he had put inside his pockets.

“I can’t come out of this bathroom holding my panties,” you reminded him with a soft laugh. “Can you like- keep them for a moment? Once we leave this place you can hand them back.”

“Sure, sure,” Eren said, putting your panties back in his pocket. You looked at each other in the eyes and couldn’t help but burst into laughter once more.

“I’ll leave first, wait a bit before going outside,” you instructed him and Eren nodded, leaning against the counter and taking out his phone to keep himself distracted as he waited.

Nobody noticed you leaving the bathroom, nor the funny way you were walking. You grabbed one of the beers from the table and plopped on one of the sofas. You observed your surroundings and wondered if time had really passed as everything seemed to be the same. Jean and Pieck were now making out in the same sofa she had been dancing on and nobody spared a second glance at you.

You felt someone sitting down next to you, opening a can of beer as well. You turned to the side and saw Eren, his hair tied on a half-bun again and looking visibly refreshed. His eyes locked with yours and he smirked.

You clinked your beer cans. You sure knew how to keep a secret.

#snk x reader #aot x reader #armin x reader #eren x reader #aot smut #snk smut #eren smut #armin smut #armin arlert x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader #armin arlert smut #eren jaeger smut #eren yaeger smut #armin arlert #eren jaeger #eren yaeger

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years ago

Text

Portrait of a Dangerous Man🎨1

Warnings: (series) non-consent sex and rape; slow creep; cucking; (this chapter) nothing as yet.

This is dark!mob!Clark Kent x reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: Your dream of having your work hung in an art show comes true but your first buyer is not all he seems to be.

Note: Yay, mob Clark. And I know what you’re saying right now, enough with Clark Kent! I get it haha. Promise, for a while, this will be the last I do of him. I have Lee fic in the work right now, the early development of medieval Peter, and I’m still sitting on some Loki ft. an exchange student... and then all my other series of course!

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You stood against the wall, chewing your lip as you looked around the gallery. You should be ecstatic, you should be floating around on a cloud, but all you could feel was crushing anxiety. It was truly a dream come true; your art hanging on the wall. Only three pieces, but it was there, and your name was below it in print.

You tugged on the waist of your dress and teetered in your heels. It was a borrowed outfit, you couldn’t afford anything appropriate to the upscale venue. The classic starving artist, or almost. You slipped your phone from your purse and up your sleeve. You subtly checked the time and for the little chat icon in the corner. Still no message.

Marcus was almost an hour late. He texted just after the event opened to warn you he was caught up with work but you worried he wouldn’t show up at all. It wasn’t his fault his boss was a jackass but you weren’t prepared to face this alone. You dropped your phone back into your slender purse and snapped it shut.

Vanessa, the gallery owner, made you flinch as she appeared almost out of the air. You smiled at her shyly and stopped chewing your lip.

“You should mingle,” she said, “you have an interested buyer. You might have a few more if you come out from the corner.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so nervous,” you confessed, “I-- thank you so much for this opportunity.”

“You earned it,” she touched your arm daintily, “all those hard hours working the back room, I couldn’t not hang a few pieces.”

You fixed your posture and tried to seem as confident as her. Your income came solely from hours of at-home data entry as you volunteered at the gallery in your few hours between. It was all worth it and maybe if you sold something tonight, Vanessa would feature you work again and you wouldn’t need to spend the bulk of your days staring at tiny font.

“So, where’s this buyer?” you asked hopefully.

“That’s my girl,” Vanessa trilled, “he seems very interested.”

She led you across the room, stopping to greet other artists and old friends with a kiss on the cheek and deep laughter. You’d met them all before as you were often working at these events. It was your first time as one of them.

When at last you neared your little stretch of the wall, a man stood with his head slightly back as he stared at your proto-renaissance portraits. He was tall and his broad shoulders strained the rich fabric of his jacket. His dark hair was neatly parted and a slight curl marked the front above the shadow of scruff poking out along his jawline.

“Mr. Kent,” Vanessa chimed, “I found her.”

He turned to look at you and his deep blue eyes struck you. He smiled between you and the gallery owner, his chiseled jaw even more defined by the gesture.

“This is Mr. Kent,” she introduced you in turn, “I believe he was interested in the larger piece.”

“All three, if you don’t have another buyer lined up,” he intoned, “I think they belong together.”

“All of them?” you raised your brows, “well, I, yeah, I guess--”

“We can put something together for you,” Vanessa interrupted your awkward stuttering, “let me just mark them.”

She took the silver pen she kept on a chain around her wrist and scribbled in the corner of the tags to mark them as sold. You were slightly numb at your disbelief. You were a bit reluctant to part with your work but the check would ease your grief.

“The way you use colours,” he said as he faced the paintings again, “I’ve recently had some work done in my house and I hate the sight of naked walls.”

“Thank you,” you said as you stepped a little closer and looked at your delicate strokes.

“Pardon me,” Vanessa rushed away as she beckoned to one of her assistants and prattled orders.

“Vanessa tells me you’re a new artist,” he said.

“New in a sense,” you said, “I guess, I’m officially an artist now.”

“Oh? I’m flattered. Your first buyer?”

“Besides some online fanart, yeah,” you replied, “so, Mr. Kent, what do you do?”

“Clark,” he corrected, “and a little bit of everything.”

An awkward silence took over and was thankfully interrupted by your name. You turned as Marcus rushed over and his shoes slipped on the polished floor. He reached you and kissed your cheek as he caught his breath.

“I’m so sorry, I got caught in traffic on the way over and then my oil light started flashing,” he gasped out.

“Hey, you’re here,” you rubbed his shoulder and straightened his tie without thinking as it hung at an angle.

“So, you sell anything yet?” he asked.

“Yes, actually, um, Mr-- Clark,” you gestured to the man standing patiently to the side, “he just bought all three.”

“Damn,” Marcus said, “guess I can hold onto my savings.”

“Marc,” you nudged his arm with your knuckles, “you know we can’t afford your cheesiness.”

“Sorry, uh,” Marcus laughed at himself, “I’m Marcus.”

He held out his hand and Clark shook it. His eyes strayed to you as his features sharpened just a little.

“You two…?” he ventured.

“Five years,” Marcus announced, “guess we’re going steady.”

“Oh,” Clark nodded placidly, “are you an artist too?”

“God no, I can hardly write my own name legibly,” Marcus kidded, “I’m a developer.”

“Computers,” Clark mused.

“Yeah, computers,” Marcus scoffed, “and you?”

“Own a couple businesses,” Clark shrugged.

“Must be successful if you can hang around here,” Marcus said and you elbowed him in embarrassment.

“I guess,” Clark smoothed his dark purple jacket and checked his watch, “I’ll let you two be. Maybe I’ll find something to go with these fine pieces.”

“Thank you,” you said sweetly, “I’m happy to see my work go to a good home.”

“I hope to see more in future,” he returned kindly.

He turned and carried on to the statue constructed of can tabs and greeted another suited man. You looked at Marcus as he leaned in to read the tags beneath your paintings. He stood and looked at you with wide eyes.

“Holy shit, ten grand?” he hissed.

“Pretty good pay for one night,” you chirped, “glad you could make it.”

“Sorry again, I… I had to redo some code. Adam was in a mood so,” he shook his head and sighed, “let’s not talk about it. Let’s celebrate.” He peeked over at the server with a tray of stemmed flutes, “and you can decide what you’re going to buy me with that check.”

“Hush,” you chided as you took a glass of champagne, “now is not the time to go over bills.”

🎨

At the end of the night, you watched one of the assistants take down your canvas and you helped wrap them in paper and twine. As you finished a loopy knot, you were surprised by the figure beside you. You looked up and set the smallest piece atop the larger ones. Clark smiled as you moved to let him pick them up.

“All yours,” you said, almost mournful to see them go.

“Thanks,” he said as he tucked them easily under his thick arm, “I forgot earlier but do you have a card? Are you open for commissions?”

“You must have a lot of walls,” you looked down and opened your purse, “I have a card and I could try a commission.”

You slid out one of the cards that had lingered in your wallet for more than a year. You handed it to him and he read the flowery font before tucking it away in his jacket.

“I do… have a lot of walls,” he said with a smirk, “I’ll give you a call once these are hung.”

“O-okay,” you kept from wringing your hands and closed your purse, “thank you… again.”

“My pleasure,” assured, “have a good night.”

“Yeah, good night,” you said and watched him go.

You let out a breath and smiled to yourself. You would talk to Vanessa and get your cut of the check before you went. Then you could worry about getting Marcus home. He’d had a little too much champagne and you’d left him in the backroom so you could help with the clean-up.

Vanessa bid goodbye to one of her featured artists as you neared. She turned to you and threw up her hands in delight.

“Wonderful, darling,” she said, “you earned that wall.”

“Thanks,” you grinned bashfully.

“Really. That man has never bought a piece before,” she smirked, “I’ve been dying to get into his wallet for years.”

“I never saw him before…”

“Oh, well, yes, he has not been to many of these either. I often see him at other galleries,” she explained, “I hope you have some more for the next.”

“Um, yeah, I should be able to--”

“I’ll have the check for you tomorrow,” she patted your shoulder as her eye was caught by another, “go get your boyfriend out of my studio.”

You accepted your dismissal and turned on your heel. That was just Vanessa, steely but slightly flighty as well. Besides, you were exhausted and you would likely be dragging Marcus into a cab.

You found him slumped at the paint-splattered table. You shook him awake and smiled dopily as he opened his eyes.

“Babe,” he pushed his arm around you.

“Marcus,” you drawled in disappointment, “let’s get out of here.”

“Huh?” He looked around and hiccupped, “oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You had a long day,” you assured him as you rubbed his back and let him lean on you as he stood, “I’m just happy you showed up after all that nonsense.”

“Of course, babe,” he slurred and you helped him through the door.

You kept your head down as you slowly sneaked out past Vanessa but you didn’t miss her side-eye. It was best to be as covert as possible. You came out through the door and nearly dropped Marcus.

“Jesus, can I get a little help?” you snipped as you looked around for a yellow cab.

“Sorry, baby, sorry,” he got his feet flat but it hardly helped take his weight off of you.

You raised your hand to hail a cab and he slipped down your arm. Your ankle bent as you turned to try to catch him before you dropped him entirely. He was saved from hitting the ground as he was caught by another. You looked over his head as he was pushed up to his feet again.

Clark kept his arm behind Marcus as you stared at him, “oh my god, thank you.”

“No problem,” he said as he steadied your boyfriend, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied as you lifted your foot and kept the weight off your ankle, “I just need to get a taxi.” You raised your hand again as you tried to see past the large man, “if you don’t mind getting him in--”

“You can ride with me,” he said brusquely as he turned with Marcus and peered back at you, “this way.”

“We can’t--”

“On that ankle,” he said as you began to limp after him, “you won’t get him out on your own.”

“Really, I’m fine--”

“I don’t mind,” he said coolly as he came to a silver sports car and balanced Marcus against him as he opened the door, “I’ll need an address.”

“Uh, oh,” you folded your hands, “thank you. Really, you’ve done too much.”

“It happens. I’ve had these nights,” he put Marcus across the seat and folded his legs up and shut the door, “you can take the front and tell me where I’m going.”

You hesitated and he opened the front door. You neared and hissed as you stumbled on your ankle. You caught yourself on his arm and quickly retracted your hand as you apologized.

“It’s alright,” he said as you sat in the front seat. He knelt and gently took your ankle. His thumb rubbed the swollen joint, “you really banged yourself up.”

“I’ll be okay,” you assured him, “thanks.”

He let go and stood. He waited for you to turn your legs into the car and gently closed the door. He rounded to the other side and got in as he fished around for his keys. He turned the engine and gripped the wheel with one hand as he took out his phone. He placed it on the magnetic holder and his fingers flicked over the screen.

“Address?” he asked.

You recited it and winced as Siri responded, ‘calculating route’. You shrunk against the luxury leather and glanced at him. He let out a huff and steered into the mostly empty street.

“I’m sorry about all this--”

“No, don’t be,” he glanced in the rearview, “he must be happy for you.”

“Yeah, uh, I think he is,” you said as he followed the map directions, “I am too. I mean, it will go along way… uh, well, you know, things can be tough or--” you shrugged, “I mean, it’s not about the money.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice to be paid,” he said lightly, “and I don’t mind paying for good art.”

You looked out the window as your cheeks burned. You could smell his cologne, subtle but strong. You played with your purse as your nerves brewed in your chest. You watched the sidewalks and the street lights as your surroundings grew more familiar.

He pulled up to your building. It wasn’t the greatest area and the brick façade was faded and cracked. Before you could get out, he was at your door. He offered his hand and helped you out as you leaned on the car. He let you go and opened the back and lifted Marcus out. He hooked your boyfriend’s arm over his shoulder and offered his other arm.

“Come on,” he said.

“Look, you don’t-- there’s an elevator.”

“I’d feel better if I got you inside,” he insisted, “especially in this area.”

You relented and took his arm and limped beside him up the steps. You took out your keys and went ahead of him as he dragged Marcus in. You went to the elevator and hit the button. The doors glided open and you stepped inside. He stood close in the small metal box and Marcus murmured dumbly at his side.

The doors dinged and he let you out first. He followed you down the hall and you unlocked your apartment and waved him inside. He carried Marcus to the couch at your direction and you leaned against the armchair as you bent your leg to check your ankle.

“You should put some ice on that,” Clark said as he neared, “get some sleep yourself.”

“Yeah, I will,” you assured, “thank you, again.”

You felt embarrassed as you eyed his expensive suit and looked around your tiny apartment. It must have been laughable to him. He hardly seem bothered as he retreated to the door.

“I’ll let you then,” he said, “and thank you. I really do like your work.”

The door shut in his stead and you heard his footsteps down the long hall until the door at the end swung open. You glanced at Marcus and shook your head. You weren’t as happy to have had him at the show then.

#clark kent #dark clark kent #dark!clark kent #clark kent x reader #fic #series #mob au #mob!au #mob!clark kent #portrait of a dangerous man #dark fic #dark!fic #superman #au #dc #dcu

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the-bau-quinjet · 4 years ago

Text

Seven Drinks

Bucky x f!reader

Summary: There's a reason Y/N has never had more than 3 drinks around the other avengers, and they're about to find out.

Warnings: depression, thoughts of suicide, panic attacks, angst (don't worry there's fluff too)

Word Count: 4322

a/n: This is inspired by that episode of Brooklyn 99 with 6 drink Amy (I adopted that concept!) and also Halsey's album Manic. :) I hope you like it. Anything in bold is a lyric from one of the songs on the album!

Please let me know if I messed up the trigger warning tags! I've never written anything like this before, so I just want to make sure I do it right.

Masterlist

"We're having a party tonight." Tony's announcement was met with the usual groans of annoyance at having to schmooze with the typical socialites that attended Tony's party. "You know, you are so ungrateful sometimes. here I am trying to throw you a party, and you're complaining!"

"Tony, we all appreciate the effort you go to, but- at least speaking for me- I don't like people." Y/N's response was effortless, swiftly calming Tony and explaining the reactions.

"That is why-" Tony stuttered when he actually registered the words you said. "That doesn't sound like you at all. And besides, this is a party for just us. It'll be more like team building, but without any pre-planned activities. No "smarmy, rich people" to deal with." He directed his last sentence at Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

The team actually seemed excited at the prospect, albeit skeptical of Tony's motivations.

Unsurprisingly, Nat worked up the courage to question him on it first, "what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just friends, food, and lots of alcohol." His grin quickly shifted into a smirk as the entire room turned to look at you.

You groaned slightly, not wanting all the attention. "Look, there is a reason I cap myself at 3 drinks." Holding up one finger, you started to explain, "One drink Y/N is barely any different from my sober self."

Wanda quickly cut you off, "not true! You get louder." She smirked, happy to have added that tidbit of information.

"Fine." With a laugh, you admitted she was right. "I might get the tiniest bit louder." You held up a second finger to continue your explanation, but were once again cut off.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just your happy, bubbly, and slightly louder than normal personality shining through!" Nat added, seeing an opportunity to tease you for being so positive all the time.

"Thanks Nat. Anyway," emphasizing the rudeness of being interrupted twice, you continued, "two drink Y/N is more touchy feely than normal. Not in a creepy way though!"

"I love two drink Y/N. She gives the best hugs!" Thor eagerly added to the conversation, glad to have dropped by when he did.

"Thanks Thor." With a small smile in his direction, you held up a third finger. "Three drink Y/N is the perfect amount of just past tipsy to have fun without doing anything extremely embarrassing. It makes the most sense to stop there." You finished her little speech with your typical smile and a resolute nod of your head.

"Seriously, you need to relax. Just let loose this one time!" Sam tried to encourage you. With the eyes of nearly every avenger set on you, your resolve didn't last very long.

"Fine! Maybe I'll have a fourth drink." You were met with cheers as you rose from your spot on the couch, trying to prepare for the night that was to come.

As soon as you stepped off the elevator, you had a drink in your hand. Clearly your friends were going to make sure you got a fourth drink. even Steve seemed excited when he saw you, although his golden boy personality didn't disappear completely.

"You sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured!" Bucky nodded, weirdly enthusiastically, before adding, "Yeah doll, don't drink more than you want to."

"You two are too sweet. Sam's right, but don't tell him I said that." You winked at the two super soldiers, emphasizing the joke. "I should let myself relax sometimes. I'm in a safe place, with friends who won't let anything happen to me. What could a few more drinks really do?" You couldn't help but smile at how true that was. You were surrounded by people who care about you.

"Oh, so now it's a few more drinks? What are we talking here, six drink Y/N? Seven?" Bucky teased.

"You'll have to wait and see, Ducky." You teased right back, knowing how flustered he got at the pet name. Steve laughed at his friend as you walked away, ready for your second drink.

Before long, you had your fourth drink in your hand. It was slightly odd how literally everyone was staring at you, but your were three drink Y/N at the time, so you were drunk enough not to care.

You downed the fourth drink, unprepared for the consequences.

"So, Y/N... how do you feel?" Clint braved the waters, everyone eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"That is so nice of you to ask! I feel great! I don't think I've ever been this happy." You jumped up and down, hugging Clint with a huge smile on your face.

"How did you get even happier?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"Do you not like it?" Like a switch had been flipped, you were nearly crying.

"What?! No!" Tony was so taken aback at the tears pooling in your eyes, he froze, unsure how to fix it. He looked around the room for help, but everyone else was just as shocked as him.

"I'll fix it!" You were at the bar, fixing another drink before anyone fully comprehended your mood swing.

You walked back up to the group, sipping from your fifth drink as if nothing happened. "What?" You questioned the odd looks, but before receiving an answer you squealed, again jumping up and down. "Let's dance!" You turned around, ready to move to the more open area before looking back over your shoulder, "Wanda! Nat! Pepper! Come on!"

The women shared a look, ultimately shrugging before joining you on the makeshift dance floor.

"Bucky, you've been staring at her for 20 straight minutes. When are you finally gonna talk to her?" Steve couldn't help but pester him about his feelings.

"I can't help it. I've never seen her dance so much. I mean, I know she's always happy, but this is a whole new level." He didn't take his eyes off of you, even when he was responding. "I can't tell her tonight, though. This is the most she's had to drink in years."

He watched as you moved back over to the bar, needing another drink after dancing so much.

"Here we go, six drink Y/N." Bucky gestured to the bar. Steve shook his head, but allowed the change of topic.

About five minutes after your sixth drink, you were somehow bounding around with even more energy. You were nearly running around the room, trying to talk to everyone at once.

"Ducky! Have I ever told you I took gymnastics lessons for 7 years when I was younger?" You were bouncing with pent up energy, excited to be sharing more information about yourself.

"No, you've actually never mentioned that." He smiled, enraptured by your childlike enthusiasm, so enraptured that he didn't notice the mischief in your eyes.

"Well, I did! Watch this." You handed a confused Bucky your now empty glass, turning and throwing your arms up. Bucky realized two late what was happening, and with both yours and his glasses in his hands, he couldn't physically stop you.

"Y/N, wait!" His shout had everyone turn and look as you flawlessly executed two cartwheels in a row.

Bucky would swear your smile got even bigger as you turned around to look at him again.

"Normally I can do more, but" you hiccuped, then lowered your voice to a really terrible whisper, "I'm a little drunk." You leaned into him, laughing as if you just told a joke.

Wanda walked up to you with a seventh drink, hoping seven drink Y/N had a little less energy, but happy to see you having so much fun. "Here ya go! One more of your favorites, just like you asked."

"Thank youuuuuu!" You shifted to hug Wanda, leaving Bucky to miss your added warmth.

You sipped your seventh drink slower than the rest, quickly running out of energy. Sliding the empty glass across the bar, you slipped out of the party unnoticed, making your way to the kitchen for some pickles- your favorite drunk food.

Your seventh drink hit you just after you opened the pickles. Gone was the happy, bubbly persona you showed the world. The mask slipped away, leaving you alone to contemplate your life choices.

You made your way to to the lounge just outside of the kitchen, choosing to lay on the floor behind the couch and stare out of the large floor to ceiling windows.

"Where's Y/N?" Bucky glanced around the room, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Huh? Oh, she said she wanted a snack." A very drunk Wanda turned to look at where the food was set up, scrunching her face in confusion when she couldn't find you. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom?"

Bucky, having noticed your absence 8 minutes ago, didn't think you left for a bathroom break. "Maybe." Plus, you always took the girls to the bathroom with you. His eyes flitted about the room, taking one more glance before deciding to go look for you.

He decided to head for the kitchen since Wanda said you wanted a snack. He laughed at the open jar of pickles, knowing you at least passed through this room. He put the pickles away before popping his head into the lounge area.

"Y/N?" He called out, figuring this was the most likely location for you to end up.

You hummed in response, not moving from your spot on the floor. Bucky walked further into the room, slightly confused as to why he could hear you but not see you. That is, until he realized you were laying on the floor behind the couch.

"Why are you on the floor?" He smiled when he found you.

"I'm just looking at the sky." Your voice held a melancholy air as it floated through the room. Bucky's smile faltered, not used to hearing you sad. In the three years he's known you, he's only ever seen you sad because of a movie or tv show. Otherwise, you were quite literally always happy.

"Why-" he faltered, unsure how to check on you. "Is everything okay?" he nearly choked the words out, feeling slightly stressed at your sudden gloominess.

"Yeah." You took a deep breath, slowly letting it out in a deep sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know." You sigh again, still looking at the sky.

Bucky chances another question, wanting to get you talking since you're acting so off. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel... so sorry." You words were so soft that Bucky could barely hear them.

"Sorry?" He tried to hide his confusion, matching your soft tone as he sat down a few feet away from you. "About what doll?"

"Just... because I feel so sad." Tears pooled in your eyes, but you didn't stop staring at the sky.

"What are you sad about?" It's taking everything in him for Bucky not to hold you right now. He doesn't want to make you even more upset, especially because he's never seen you like this.

"No one around me knows who I am..." He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek, shining in the light from the moon.

Bucky moves closer, just close enough for him to reach out and hold your hand. You squeeze it, instant relief flooding through him that he hasn't crossed any boundaries.

He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "I'm not breaking. I won't take it. And I won't ever feel this way again." Your voice is harder, as if your angry with yourself.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay to have feelings. You're allowed to feel like this. Don't push it away. Talk to me. Why don't you think anyone knows who you are? We're all here for you, Y/N." He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, trying to convey how serious he is.

You let out a dry laugh, wiping the the tears from your cheek. "My self preservation..." Bucky can tell there's more to, choosing to wait for you to continue. "All of my reservations..." You sigh again, sitting up, you scoot closer until you can lean your forehead against his shoulder. "I bottle it up. I'm my own biggest enemy." You let out another dry laugh, shaking your head without moving it from its resting place on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky wraps his arm around you and leans his cheek against your head. "Take your time. You can talk to me." He whispered, trying to keep you talking without getting mad at yourself again.

"Well, I'd like to tell you that my sky is not blue, it's violent rain." The sounds of your sniffles break his heart. "I just pretend everything's fine because that's what I had to do when I was younger." Rather then interrupting, Bucky continues to rub small circles on your hand and your back, encouraging you to continue when you're ready. "Can I tell you a story? I... I think it'll help explain some of it."

"Of course. Anything you need, doll." He curses himself for the pet name, not wanting you to think he's joking. He just can't help it when it comes to you.

"Thank you, ducky." You chuckle, but your words are just as sincere as his. "You know I have two sisters, and I love them with all my heart, but sometimes growing up with them was hard. My older sister, she put so much pressure on herself to succeed. And, she did. She was so good at everything she did, that I felt like I had to be just as perfect.

With my younger sister, it was like it was effortless. She put just as much, if not more pressure on herself. but, she could do anything she tried to, with almost no learning curve. I always felt this crazy amount of pressure to be just as good.

My parents, they didn't really help with that. I mean, they were so supportive and I'm so grateful to them, but it was a lot of pressure. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I wanted to get an internship. Ya know, to get some experience. It would set me up better for getting a job after graduation.

I spent months looking and applying, but nothing was working out. So, I went home for the summer. My mom would come home everyday and ask me if I got a job yet.

I spent nearly every waking hour looking for a job, even just a part time one for the summer. So one day, when we sat down for dinner and she asked if I got a job yet..."

Bucky could feel how tense you were telling this story, but he knew you needed to get it out.

"I told her, 'no, not yet' and she just seemed so disappointed. She asked if I was even applying and I snapped.

I yelled at her, something that had never really happened before. I told her I was trying. I was doing everything I could. She yelled at me for yelling and said it wasn't unreasonable to ask for updates.

I yelled right back. I kept saying I spend all day everyday trying and just when I finally get a break, she walks in and brings it all up again. I was stressed enough without her constant reminders.

I ended up running away from the table, in tears. I hid in the bathroom, there... there was a pair of scissors on the counter and I really thought about killing myself that day."

The tears are pouring out of you at this point. Bucky threw caution to the wind. He picked you up, maneuvering you to sit across his lap and lean your head on his chest. He kept rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of encouragement.

"My younger sister tried to check on me, but I wouldn't open the door. My mom stomped down the hallway to her bedroom. I was full on having a panic attack in the hallway bathroom. I think I stayed in there for an hour before I went back to the dinner table.

My dad was in the kitchen. He put my plate in the microwave to heat up dinner for me. I ate through near constant tears, it only got worse every time he tried to ask me what happened. Why I snapped like that.

I wanted to apologize to my mom for yelling, so after I ate I went to her room. I knocked, and when she told me to come in I opened the door. I just remember her looking so angry.

I apologized. I told her I was sorry for yelling. She said something about not being unreasonable again. I cried again. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared.

I couldn't put it into words though, so when she asked me 'of what?' I just shrugged. Then, she asked me if I was on my period.

God. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her again, To make her understand 'I only wanna die some days. But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?' I decided that day that I would never try to tell anyone how I actually felt."

Bucky holds you as you cry. You're not sure how long it's been when you can finally breathe enough to talk again.

"I just, so many people have bigger problems then me. I grew up in a loving household. I went to college and made friends. I got a job after I graduated. So why am I so sad sometimes? I just wanna scream but what’s the use? At night, I lay awake and I stare at the door, I just can’t take it no more."

Bucky continues comforting you when he speaks again. "Just because other people have problems, doesn't mean yours are irrelevant. You are 100% allowed to feel however you feel, even if it seems like there's no reason for it. Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this? I know you just said you haven't told anyone how you actually feel for years, but I think it could help." He smiled nervously when you raised your head to look at him.

"I have actually. I joked about it a lot with my roommate right out of college. I always used to say 'everybody needs therapy' as a joke. Of course, I meant it. Most people probably do need therapy." You laughed, moving your arms around Bucky's neck to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. I like talking to you."

Of course, Bucky noticed your smile didn't reach your eyes. He was confident in his words when he spoke again. "You can always talk to me. I'll always be there to listen." He followed that with a less confident "What's been bothering you today?"

"Oh, nothing that serious. It's just all pent up inside, ya know?" You smiled again, hiding your face so he couldn't see your lies.

Of course, he could still hear it in your voice. "Y/N, you can tell me. I want to be here for you."

"I... It's just, my insecurities are hurting me." You laughed at yourself. "Here we go with the fucking riddles, again. On the plus side, I think I've cried so much I'm back to one drink Y/N."

"Well, it has been 3 hours since I left to come find you." You were grateful for Bucky's joke, needing something to lift the mood a bit. "But, don't try and change the subject. I still want to know what's got you all sad." His words were light, but you knew how serious he was.

You took a deep breath, burying your head in his neck. "How could somebody ever love me?" You spoke into his shirt, not moving your head back even an inch.

"You know I can't understand you when you talk into my neck like that." Bucky tried joking, but even he knew it would do little to calm your fears.

You moved back, lips still grazing his skin when you repeated yourself, "how could somebody ever love me?"

Bucky wanted to scream. He wanted to tell you how much he loves you. He would gladly spend every day of his life loving you, but he didn't think this was the right time. Not when you just poured your heart out to him. So he settled for the almost truth.

"Anyone would be lucky to love you. You are selfless. You put everyone else first, no matter what. You always make sure everyone has a reason to smile, even when things aren't going right. You tell the best jokes. You're great at cuddling." He squeezes you closer to him, emphasizing the point. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone who comes into contact with you automatically has a better day. You are incredibly strong and independent. I've never met anyone so incredibly good. Even Steve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

His words brought more tears to your eyes, pooling in the corners. "Then how come everyone that I’ve dated says they hate it cause they don’t know what to do with me? I feel broken."

"They were all idiots. You're not broken. Not even a little bit. You're learning how to express your feelings. You just need someone who would take it slow." He pressed a kiss to your forehead, struggling not to tell you everything.

"I wonder if you’d take it slow." Your eyes go wide when that slips out. You hadn't meant to make things uncomfortable. One look at Bucky's face has you freaking out. He looks stunned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out! Oh god, you've been there for me all night and I go and fuck it up by admitting I'm in love with you."

Your eyes grow even larger. You would move out of his lap, but his arms are still holding you in place. "Shit! Maybe I'm still drunk because apparently I have no filter." You say the last part more to yourself, but he can still hear you.

"Y/N?" Your name comes out of his mouth in a soft whisper.

"Yes?" You cringe internally at messing everything up.

"I would take it slow." He smiles, leaning his forehead against yours while he waits for you to absorb his words.

"Yeah?" You whisper back, a smile ghosting your lips.

"Yeah." You both lean in, exchanging soft, slow kisses and sleepy smiles.

The two of you ended up falling asleep leaning against the back of the couch. The sun streaming through the windows, combined with the noise of the other avengers in the kitchen, wakes you up.

You nudge Bucky, grinning when he pulls you closer.

"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast." He groans again, but eventually stands up.

The two of you walk into the nearly full kitchen, surprising everyone by coming from the lounge rather than the elevators. They share amused expressions, unaware of the emotional hurdles you jumped last night.

You head right for Sam, hugging him tightly before moving on to hug everyone else.

"I just wanted to thank you all. For encouraging me to live a little last night, but also for being there for me." Tears spring to your eyes again, shocking everyone but Bucky. "You're all like a family to me and I'm so glad I have you all to lean on." You made your way back to Bucky, leaning into his side while he poured both of you some cereal.

You smile when you look at him, kissing his cheek before sliding into the stool next to his.

As if broken out of a day dream, Sam sputters out a question. "What the hell did seven drink Y/N do last night?" Thrown off both by your behaviour with Bucky and the short emotional speech.

"Oh, seven drink Y/N is an emotional little bitch. I think I cried eight years of suppressed tears." You laughed, grinning at Bucky when he squeezed your hand. "Also, I think I need a therapist." Your casual admission has Tony spitting out his breakfast.

"What the hell happened last night after you disappeared from the party?" He guffaws, trying to put the pieces together.

"Also, why aren't you even a little bit hungover?" Nat chimed in, upset at missing out on seeing you anything but cheery.

"Well, to answer Nat first, I don't get hungover. Never have, even the one time I blackout out." You shrugged at everyone's slightly jealous expressions. "To answer Tony, I had an emotional breakthrough. Bucky helped me talk through it, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Long story short, i'm going to learn how to share my feelings instead of suppressing them all."

"Suppressing them? What are you talking about? I've literally never felt anything but happiness from you before?" Wanda questioned the new development.

"Well, that's because I'm really good at hiding how I feel. I'd rather not go through it all again, so just watch the security footage from the lounge last night, yeah? I want you all to know, even if it took seven drink Y/N to share it." You quickly finished eating, pulling Bucky to the doorway.

"While you do that, we're going out. Bye!" Before they could question anything else, you ran to the elevator, dragging a very willing Bucky behind you.

"We're going out?" He questioned when the elevator doors shut.

"Yep. Get dressed, I want to see all your favorite places in New York. Even if they're different now. Take me to all your favorite spots." You both smiled, sharing another soft kiss before parting to change for the day.

"Hey," Bucky called, causing you to turn over your shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you too."

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