#okay that’s all Ty bye back into the void

[selfshippingbrainr0t]

The blog is still inactive rn but I just came to say due to help wanted 2 and the most plausible theories leading to Vanny being her own separate entity now away from Vanessa:

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO MY BELOVED IS HER OWN BEING AGAIN

[literaila]

this vast empty space

spencer reid x reader

request: I’ve had this idea floating in my head after watching some One Tree Hill and Criminal Minds one day👀 what if the reader and Spencer have a child together but things are getting a little rocky with reader and Spence and they’re arguing so Spencer spends a lot of time at JJ’s with his child and JJ’s kids and one day the reader doesn’t let her child do something so they get mad and say they wish JJ was their mom🥺 but somehow a fluffy ending? Idk🗿 

warnings: angsty. panic attacks. me. its super duper long...um...depression symptoms...fighting....thats all.............enjoy!

“You’re taking her over to JJ’s?” 

There was this distance. 

There was an impenetrable wall. It was standing between the two of them, blocking their eyes, blocking their bodies from ever touching, from ever looking at one another. 

There was this wall. 

It was stuck between them, stuck standing there keeping them from each other, stuck living next to them, living with them, breathing in their space. 

This distance, this wall, this irritable thing standing between the two of them forcing them apart, forcing an uncomfortable feeling over their house, over their relationship, over their family. 

It was unavoidable. 

It was impossible to remove. 

“Yeah,” Spencer said, not making eye contact, not even saying the words in her direction, just tying their daughter's shoes, too focused on her to even spare a glance at Y/N. “I thought a playdate with Henry would be fun.” 

She watched small hands wrap around his neck, watched him gently pick up their daughter, still avoiding looking at her. She watched her daughter whisper in his ear, watched him smile at her. She watched her daughter's eyes light up at him. 

She watched and she felt like she was far far away from them. 

“When will you guys be back?” Y/N asked quietly, standing, vulnerable, in their doorway, standing just watching the two people she loved the most get ready to leave, getting ready to leave without her. 

Playing with her sweater, moving it over her hands as to hide herself, as to feel smaller, she stared at the floor waiting for them to walk out. 

There was this feeling, a feeling that rested around her body like a blanket, a feeling that made her feel like she wasn't supposed to be there, made her feel like she was just a spare piece, that they didn't need her. 

She didn't want them to walk out the door. 

“We’ll probably stay the night,” Spencer said, still not looking at her, he hadn't been looking at her recently, his voice was a void of numbness, his tone nonchalant, never caring. “I don't want her to stay up too late.” 

Y/N looked up and stared at his back, she stared at her daughter who was smiling at him, she felt a small grin on her face. She felt her mood lift just a little bit, felt the blanket fall just a couple of inches off her shoulder. She was lucky that her daughter couldn't feel the space between them, she was lucky her daughter hadn't caught on yet. 

She was lucky she had a happy little girl. 

Y/N made a small grunt of acknowledgement, made a quiet noise that she hoped wasn't showing her displeasure in the situation, she kept her mouth shut so they wouldn't yell at each other again. She sighed gently, already exhausted, and walked over to the pair. She walked over and got closer to Spencer than she had been in days, she could feel his body heat reflecting off of hers. 

She felt so uncomfortable. She felt so out of place in her own home.

She smiled at her daughter, smiled at the crinkles around her eyes, and the dream-like gaze she had in her eyes, and ran a gentle hand over her face, moving the curly brown hair out of Fayre’s eyes. She poked her cheek, searching for the dimples she knew would show up. 

“I’ll miss you, Fay. Be back tomorrow?” She asked, repeating the words her daughter had said to her multiple times, repeating the words that always seemed to comfort Fayre. Y/N hoped they would comfort her. 

“Be back tomorrow, Momma.” 

Y/n gave her another smile, hoping the sadness she felt wasn't showing in her eyes. She kissed Fayre’s head gently.

“Okay.” She said moving away from the two of them, trying to not let her chest fall at the thought of them leaving for the night. She looked over at Spencer, who was staring at the floor still avoiding her eyes, and she felt her smile fade from her face. “Bye Spence. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” 

Spencer nodded. He walked over to the door and grabbed his bag. With Fayre on his shoulder he opened the door, Y/N watched Fayre wave happily at her, calling “Bye Momma!” as Spencer walked away. 

She watched Spencer not even glance back at her.

Y/N watched them leave. 

***

Weeks was a brief way to put it. 

The distance between Y/N and Spencer. 

Y/N wasn't sure when she had decided to start picking fights, to start bickering with him every moment they were together, to bicker with him until they were openly fighting with each other. 

She wasn't sure when that had started. 

She can remember the fight that it had all begun with. 

She can remember telling Spencer she was thinking about resigning from the BAU.

She can remember how surprised she was when he got mad. 

She couldn't remember anything after that. 

But there was a tension, a distinct tension between the two, that had put them both into defensive mode. The tension had made them disagree with anything the other said, and the few times they had been able to talk out their problems, those couple of times, the tension was always there the next day. 

The tension eventually turned into distance. 

And then Spencer was leaving the house for longer, he was spending more time in his office, he was sleeping at JJ’s.

He had started sleeping at JJ’s. He couldn't stand to stay with her, to sleep in the same room with her, so he went to his best friend. So he left.

Y/N usually stayed home with Fayre, usually spent their time off taking care of her daughter. 

It seemed like they couldn't even be in the same room for ten minutes without fighting. They couldn't even have a conversation about the doctor's appointment Fayre had next week without arguing about something completely useless. 

Y/N hated it.

She hated it so much. She hated that she never got the opportunity to talk to her husband. She hated that they hadn't spent time as a family, all together, in the past couple of months the fighting had been going on. She hated that when they were working when they were helping each other on a cause, she hated the distance that rested between them. 

She hated not talking to him.

She hated not seeing him smile. 

She missed cuddling with him. 

She missed absolutely everything about him. 

But she didn't know what to do. 

Should she talk to him? Apologize? Explain to him how she felt? Would that do any good, or would it just cause another fight between the two of them, another layer in the wall they were constructing? 

She didn't know what to do. 

She wasn't sure if there was anything left for the two of them. Wasn't sure if there was anything she could say without it ending in a fight. 

Spencer was sleeping at JJ’s.

So she spent time with her daughter. She basked in the love that her daughter offered her free of charge. She spent her days coloring with her, making cupcakes, and taking her to the park. She spent her days playing with old toys, watching Disney movies, and talking to Fayre about anything that was going on in her 3-year-old mind. She loved every second she got to spend happily with her little girl. 

But when Spencer wanted to see her, when Spencer wanted to be the good Dad that he always had been, when Spencer wanted to spend him with their daughter and still had to actively avoid Y/N while doing it… Those days Y/N spent alone. 

She spent those days alone cleaning their house, cleaning her daughter's room and Spencer’s office, doing laundry, and reorganizing anything she could, she spent those days going to buy more groceries and catching up on things that she had meant to do months ago. She spent those days in her house, surrounded by things that just reminded her of how much she loved her family, surrounded by things that just filled her with doubt and hopelessness. 

She spent those days alone. 

She pretended that everything was the same as it was months ago, that she and Spencer still felt desperately in love every waking moment, that their small family was as content as could be, she pretended that she didn't feel the numbness in her chest when she wasn't doing something, she pretended that it was all the same. 

And she was happy. 

She pretended for her daughter, she didn't want her daughter to grow up in a home where everyone was sad, she didn't want her daughter to learn that being happy isn't normal for most people. She pretended for Spencer too, because she knew, she had always known, that even when they were fighting, even with the distance between them keeping them so so far away, she knew that if she said a word, if she voiced her doubts, Spencer would be there in a flash. 

He would hold her and reassure her that everything was okay, he would tell her that he loved her. 

And she wasn't so sure that was true. 

She wasn't sure if Spencer still felt tied to her. If he still felt his heartburn with the adoration he had for her. She wasn't even sure if Spencer still wanted to try and change. 

But he was a good person, and he was an amazing husband, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for his family. Including lie. 

So she didn't say a word. 

She just pretended. Just pretended everything was fine. 

Everything was just fine. 

***

It had been days. 

Days since she’d seen Spencer, days since they’d both been in the same room, days since she had yelled at him, had yelled harsher and angrier than she ever thought she could be. Days since she’d talked to him. 

JJ was their saving grace. 

JJ texted Y/N, and came to pick up Fayre so Spencer could see her, JJ spent time with her husband and her daughter, JJ spent every day with Spencer and didn't tell Y/N anything about him, only gave her a small pitiful smile every time she saw her, JJ who had Spencer sleeping over at her house. 

Y/N didn't know how to feel. 

Sometimes she worried she didn't feel anything. 

She could only hear the yelling in her head, could only remember how sore her throat had been the next day, could only remember the fury in Spencer's eyes, could only remember the way he slammed the door, could only remember the words she’d said to him. 

“She’s my daughter!” 

Spencer sighed and moved past her to their dresser, he was packing more clothes, more clothes so he could leave again, so he could leave and go back to JJ’s. He still wouldn't look at her. 

“Spencer. She's my daughter and I don't want her gone every other night!” 

Y/N wasn't sure when she had started yelling, wasn't sure when she had gotten so angry. She only knew that there was a knife digging into her chest, a knife that was digging under her skin, a knife that was begging her to fight back, a knife that was fueling her rage, she was angry, she was so so angry. 

And Spencer didn't seem to care. He didn't seem to say anything to her, he only let her yell at him while he walked around the room getting all the things he thought he would need. He wouldn't look at her, and he wouldn't pay her words any mind, and it was infuriating. 

The knife only dug deeper with every ignored statement Y/N made. 

“Spencer, are you even going to look at me? Do you even care?”

And with that Spencer turned around, he turned around quickly, his entire body tense and stiff. 

Y/N felt her breath catch at the look on his face. 

He was angry. She could see that clearly in his eyes, his face looked about to break, looked ready to throw everything he had at her, the anger that looked infused into his eyes scared her, the tension in his jaw made her back away from him. 

She’d never seen him angry like that. 

“Of course I care Y/N! I can't look at you because I can't bear to see the person that thought we weren't good enough- you thought I wasn't good enough! I don't want to look at you!” 

The knife retracted at his words, pulled out of her, scared by the reaction, a reaction she had never expected. The knife- the anger -wasn't prepared for him to be mad at her, it wasn't prepared for him to get angry, to actually react to the words she’d been saying. 

Y/N was counting on the fact that he had been ignoring her. 

She took a minute to think, to take in his words, to think about everything he had said, everything that he hadn't said in the weeks they’d been distant, the knife retracted, and she thought. 

She thought she thought

And then the knife plunged back into her. 

Deeper. 

“She's my fucking daughter Spencer! I’m sorry that I’m her mom and you don't want to deal with me but nothing can change that now! You should at least have the decency to talk to me about her!” She spat the words at him, flung them like weapons, like acid that was going to burn his skin, to burn him to nothing. 

She didn't care, she didn't care about his reaction, she didn't care if he was mad at her, she didn't care what he thought, she didn't care that they were fighting, all she cared about was making him see, making him feel the way she’d felt for months. 

Like everything was her fault. 

“You can leave me all you want Spencer!” she screamed at him, her face red, her hands shaking, her entire body rocking with the force of her emotions, the knife digging, she screamed at him angrily, desperately “You can leave if you don't want to be here! But Fayre will not leave, this is her home. She wants to be here!” 

And Spencer stared at her shocked, stared at her as he had never seen her before, had never ever met her, he just looked at her like she was someone he couldn't recognize. 

Y/N didn't know what he was thinking, didn't know if his shocked face was because of her words, or because of the yelling she had always tried to keep in. She stared at him, she stared at him and suddenly felt like she was crazy like she shouldn't have even been there, she stared at him and she could feel herself shrink in size. She could feel the knife disappear, and be replaced with an empty hole that filled her. 

Spencer suddenly walked out of the room. 

Y/N took a moment, took a moment to process what had happened, took a moment to recognize the hole that was now in her body, she moved her hands to her chest as to feel for it, as to make sure it wasn't actually there. 

She couldn't feel anything. 

After that moment she stormed for the door, stormed to go find Spencer, stormed because she wasn't ready for him to give up, to just leave once again. 

She stormed out of their room and she was met with a door about to close, a tiny hand she could see through the crack. 

She stared as the door slammed, more harsh and more final than any words she had screamed. 

She stared and watched her daughter leave with her husband. 

She felt her heart rush, and her head filled with air and, 

There was a hole in her chest and she was trying to grab it, trying to find it trying to trying to, 

There was nothing there but the empty house she was stuck in. 

JJ had brought her back the next day. Had given her that sad smile, and then left. 

Y/N wondered why her husband wasn't back. 

She wondered why he wasn't coming back. 

She wondered if he would ever come back. 

So did Fayre. Every day it was the same question “Where's Daddy?” which was answered with a blank “I don't know little love. I’m sure he’ll be home soon.” and then “Be back tomorrow Momma?” which was asked after a couple of days. And the same answer was always “I don't know Fayre.”

Because Y/N had no clue. She had no idea what her husband was doing, no idea when he was coming back, no idea when he wanted to see their daughter, no idea what to do. 

She caught glances of him at work. The team had been under strict orders for only in state cases, enforced by Strauss, and so there was nowhere else she could see him. But there were moments. There were moments when he was there, but Hotch had told her he had requested to finish his work at him, had requested to stay out of the office for a while, and Hotch had agreed. He’d even looked shocked when Y/N asked if he knew where Spencer was. 

Because she was supposed to know. 

But she didn't. 

There were moments where she saw him come into the office, small moments where she only got glimpses of his hair, of one of his vests. Little moments that reassured her that he was still there, that he hadn't left completely.

She prepared herself for the news that he had resigned, news that there was somewhere else Spencer was going, prepared herself so much. She had told him to go, told him to leave her, why wouldn't he? 

She prepared herself for the inevitable news she had set herself up for. 

But it hasn't come yet. 

Instead, she had gotten news of a party, one that Rossi was throwing, a celebration for whatever reason he had proclaimed. She’d gotten the news, and she’d been told that she had to go, that there was no backing out. 

And she’d agreed. 

Besides, it would be good for her to get out of the house, to go somewhere with her friends where she wasn't constantly looking up from her desk for something. 

She’d been told to take Fayre, told that Jack and Henry and Micheal would all be there, that her little girl should go have fun with them. 

She’d agreed.

But she knew that taking Fayre would mean passing her off, would mean giving her to Spencer so that they could spend more time together. 

She’d been in a mood all morning because of it. 

It had started with breakfast, which she had burned while helping Fayre get dressed, and then it was the loud TV playing while she wasn't trying to finish up some paperwork, and then it was the headache that was burning her eyes, and then it was packing up Fayre’s things. 

She felt so overwhelmed, felt so nervous to see Spencer for the first time, felt so sad that she was going to have to go home without her daughter. 

She felt like she was doing everything wrong, felt like she couldn't even keep her family together, couldn't even keep her daughter happy for one day without Spencer. 

She felt like she shouldn’t have to do any of it without Spencer, felt so angry that he was forcing her to pass their daughter off like she was a present. 

She felt so so overwhelmed. 

But she had to keep a smile on her face, she had to let her husband be a good Dad, she had to let her daughter spend time with her favorite person in the world, and she had to be happy while she did it. Her daughter deserved a happy Mother. She deserved everything. 

She didn't deserve what was happening to her parents. 

When it was finally time to leave Y/N could feel the nerves bunch up from her feet to the tip of her head, she felt them collect together like a bunch of bugs crawling up her skin, and she felt like she was going to puke. 

She could see Spencer. She could. It was the first time in days, the first time she would ever have to directly talk to him. But she could do it. She could she could. 

She wasn't sure. 

She helped Fayre pack the last of her clothes, grabbed the couple of things she hadn't put in her bag earlier when she heard crying come from the other room. 

Immediately she prepared herself for the worst, she felt desperate to get it to stop. 

She walked into their living room and saw her daughter sitting on the floor trying to put her shoes on. Tears were running down Fayre’s face as she messed with the laces, as she tried to remember what her Dad had done for her so many times. She looked up at her Mom and whined. 

Y/N went over to her, sad to see her crying on the floor, sad to see her crying over something that she could’ve just asked for help for. 

“Daddy always do it. I don't how to.” Fayre said angry, her words coming out rushed, skipping over the words she had not yet learned how to say. She was pulling at the strings harder, and Y/N tried to move her hands away from the laces so she couldn't hurt herself. 

That was when she started yelling. 

“No! No!” she said as she hit Y/N’s hands away, as she pushed her away. 

“Fayre. It's okay, just help me, help sweetheart.” 

“No! Daddy always do it! Daddy do it! Not Momma!” she was opening yelling, the tears streaming down her red face as she threw her hands up, not sure how to express her emotions. 

“Let Momma do it once, it's okay sweetie we can do it.” 

Y/N could feel herself getting more frustrated, could feel the nerves still collecting in her body, she didn't know what to do, and she didn't feel like she could deal with a breakdown from her daughter right now. 

Not when she was inches away from having one herself. 

She tried to take a deep breath, tried to calm herself down, and remind herself that Fayre was only three, that she was confused, and she missed her dad, and that she needed to be calm with her. 

“Fayre, I’m sorry sweetie, Daddy’s not here. Let me help and we can go see him.” Y/N said calmly, kneeling in front of her daughter who was looking at her angrily. 

“No! Daddy! Not you! Don't want you!” Fayre said as she got up, her shoes still untied, as she tried to run for the door. 

Y/N could feel her anger go up. 

“Fayre Diana. Don't run away.” Y/N said sternly.

Her daughter was crying and screaming, and banging on the door desperately like she was trying to get out, she was yelling so loud, and Y/N’s head was pounding. And her daughter was upset, and she was upset and she didn't know what to do. 

What should she do what should she do? 

She felt the anger rush up into her head, flashing her eyes red, she felt herself hit her breaking point, felt everything coming to her at once, felt so done, so tired and she just wanted it to stop. 

“Fayre! Daddy isn't here! I need you to listen to me!” she yelled, moving over to her daughter who was too small to resist Y/N picking her up. Fayre kicked and tried to push her away as Y/N walked over to their couch. 

“We won't go if you don't let me help you.” She said, no longer yelling, but her voice with much more power. 

And Fayre stared at her, her eyes wide and almost sad, she stared at her and she started to cry even more. 

Y/N watched as her daughter's eyes welled up in tears, as her daughter was hyperventilating, so sad, and so little, she felt herself breaking at the sight. 

And she tried to grab her arm, trying to do anything to calm her down. 

“No! I don't want you!” Fayre screamed pushing Y/N away, pushing her away and looking at her angrily. “I want JJ! You not nice! JJ!” 

And everything stopped. 

Everything just stopped. 

Y/N could feel everything drain from her body, all her emotions all her thought all her organs, she felt it all fall away from her, felt her heart crack into so many pieces it was practically dust because 

She wasn't good enough

She wasn't enough

She wasn't 

She wasn't

I want JJ!

I want JJ!

I want 

I want

JJ

Her daughter didn't want her, and her husband didn't want her, and she didn't want her, and there was nothing there was nothing

There was so much

She felt everything collapse from within and she couldn't find the words, didn't know how to breathe, didn't know how to remove the air that was filling her body, didn't know how to breathe 

How do you breathe how do you-

She wasn't good enough. 

She wasn't good. 

She wasn't. 

She. she she. 

There was nothing left of her. 

Nothing but the ashes that were barely enough to fill her feet, let alone the hole that was left within her body, the hole that had been building up for weeks. 

There was nothing. 

Everything stopped. 

Everything just stopped. 

And she stared at her daughter, her daughter who wasn't saying anything, barely even looked like she was breathing, and she stared at her and. 

Everything started again. 

Fayre was looking at her, tears running down her cheeks, and Y/N watched as she came over and hugged her legs, she watched as Fayre listed out apologizes, watched as she looked up at her, sad by the tears running down her Moms cheeks. 

She didn't know what to do. 

She didn't she didn't. 

She ignored it. 

She ignored it. 

Nothing had happened nothing was happening, she was whole she was completely there, there was nothing wrong. 

Nothing had happened. 

They were going to be late. 

***

She stood there numb. 

Numb as she watched her daughter laugh with Spencer and JJ. 

She stood there and she felt nothing at all. 

She watched her friends dance and laugh and play games, she watched the kids run around Rossi’s yard, giggly and happy as could be. 

She watched everyone else enjoy themselves, and she couldn't feel anything. 

She didn't know what she was supposed to feel. 

Was she supposed to be sad? Sad that her daughter considered JJ a better mom than she did Y/N?

Was she supposed to be angry? Angry that Fayre had adapted to JJ’s house so much that she thought she was better?

Was she supposed to be annoyed? Or heartbroken? Was she supposed to frustratingly yell at JJ, to yell at Spencer?

Was there something she was supposed to feel? Something she was supposed to do. 

She didn't know.

All she knew was the numbness she’d been submerged in, the numbness that had taken over her body when it had fallen to pieces, fallen apart on her living room floor, the numbness that put clouds in her brain, clouds that forced her to think but not to feel.

Was there something she was supposed to be feeling?

She didn't feel anything. 

She just watched, she watched Hotch laugh with the boys, and Derek talk with Emily and Penelope pull funny faces to make Fayre laugh. She watched as JJ stood with her arms wrapped around Will, watched as Rossi grilled something and yelled out things. 

She watched all of them feel. 

She didn't dare look at Spencer. 

When she had arrived with Fayre, immediately she’d let her run to her Father, let her go hug him desperately, and had not let herself spare a glance at him. She didn't want to see him and she didn't want to think about how he had left, about how he had taken her advice, about how their daughter would be so much better off with a mom who knew what she was doing. 

She didn't want to think about all the ways she had disappointed her family. 

She didn't want to think at all. 

So she didn't look at him, didn't watch him the way she always did, didn't say a single word to him. She wouldn't allow herself that. 

She was looking down at the pavement when Derek came over to her. 

“Hey Pretty Girl,” he said, as he stood next to her, holding out a drink for her, which she took nonchalant as she looked back at the ground. 

“Hey,” she said quietly, her voice void of emotion, her body void of everything. 

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asked, moving his head down so he could get a look at her face. 

She looked up at his words, her neck snapping at the question. 

“Nothing,” she said, looking in his eyes, which were glazed with concern.

“What's going on Pretty girl? You’ve been standing here alone all night?” Derek said, putting a reassuring arm on her shoulder. 

She didn't feel a thing. 

“Nothings going on. I’m just tired,” she said, again, looking back at the ground. She was tired of thinking. 

‘Y/N.” Derek said, moving her chin so she was looking in his eyes again. “Seriously, what's wrong?” 

Y/N stayed silent, willed her body to feel nothing, to think nothing, because there was nothing wrong, there was nothing wrong. 

She looked back down. 

“Alright.” Derek sighed, taking the drink he had given her from her hand and setting it down on a nearby table. He grabbed her hand and led her away from the party, away from everything else. She wondered where they were going. 

When they finally stopped at a small garden farther into Rossi’s backyard Derek halted and turned to stare at her again. 

“What's going on with you and Spencer?” 

Y/N felt herself crack at that. Felt the numbness drain only a smidge, from her body, felt her staring at Derek urgently, felt her mind trying to run again. 

“Nothing. There's nothing.” She said quickly, her words jumbled, her heart racing. 

“You think I haven't noticed the way you two have been acting recently? He's been staring at you all night, and you haven't said a word to anyone. Something is going on. What is it?” 

She looked down, surprised by his words, emotion was filling her body but she was begging herself to just keep it out, to just not feel anything. 

She didn't want to feel anything. 

“Derek I-” and she broke. Her body was flooded with memories and thoughts and emotions, and she could feel the dam breaking in her eyes and she felt everything all at once and she just wanted it to stop. She didn't want to feel any of it. Why wouldn't it just stop?

Derek pulled her into his chest. He pulled her in tight and rubbed her back and she tried to calm herself down, as she tried to keep in all the emotions her body was begging her to let out. 

“Shh, Pretty Girl... It’ll be alright. Just breathe.” He said as she rested her cheek on her chest, as she felt her body start to panic, her mind started to buzz with the overwhelming feeling. 

What would she do? Her daughter didn't want her. Her daughter didn't want her. Her daughter had said she didn't want her and she didn't know what to do what would she do her daughter didn't didn't want her- 

“Fayre said she wanted JJ.” she cried out desperately, the words tumbling out of her like an avalanche, she could feel herself still panicking, she could feel the buzzing of her brain flow to the rest of her body. What would she do-

“What do you mean.” 

“Fayre,” she breathed, “she said that I- I was mean.” she gasped and more tears rolled down her cheeks like rocks falling “and that- she wanted JJ- not-” her body was buzzing in the panic that had contained her “not me,” she said and she cried. She cried against her friend as her family was only a short distance away, as her family had no idea how worthless, how broken she was. 

Derek just let her cry. He let her sob out different words, he looked down at her concerned, wondering when she had fallen apart. Wondered why he was the one comforting her instead of her husband, her husband who was only 100 feet away. 

The panic was still there, still shaking her heart back and forth, still buzzing loud in her brain, but she was breathing, she had gotten the words out, the terrifying words that she so desperately wanted to pretend didn't exist. 

She was starting to breathe. 

Why did she have to feel anything? 

Derek held her, held her close, held her because that was what she needed, she needed her husband but she needed something she needed someone. 

He listened as she gasped out her last sob, as her crying started to slow down. 

He moved back. He kept his hands on her shoulder as she looked up at him. 

She looked so small, her eyes bloodshot, her face pale, she looked like a little kid who had no idea what to do, she looked so small standing there with him. 

“Are you alright?” he asked as he searched her face. 

She took a shaky breath as she said “Thank you. Better now.” 

She didn't think she had the energy to say anything else. 

***

It was time to go. It was time to go back to her house, her empty house, it was time to go back to her numbness, which was empty, just like her house. 

They were quite the pair. 

It was time to say goodbye to Fayre, time to send her off with her Dad, and with JJ who didn't disappoint the two of them. 

In a way, Y/N was thankful to JJ, because she knew that JJ would take care of her family, she knew that JJ would be there for them if they needed anything. She knew that if she couldn't make them happy, at least JJ could. 

She tried to ignore the envy she felt towards JJ. She tried to ignore the anger she wanted to feel. She knew it wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault that she didn't disappoint. 

It was Y/N’s.

At least she thought at least they have someone. 

She just wanted them to be happy. 

It was time to say goodbye, as everyone started heading towards their cars, tired and ready to go home, Fayre walked over to her mom, her smile shining bright as she led Spencer towards Y/N.��

They were walking over to Y/N together, Fayre pulling her dad along, pulling him over to her. He was coming over, he was coming over. Y/N didn't let her heart feel anything, she didn't let her eyes drift toward him. 

“Momma!” Fayre yelled excitedly, throwing herself into Y/N’s arms. 

“Hi, baby.” Y/N said quietly, looking at her beautiful daughter, staring at the one relief she had from it all. “Did you have fun?” She said softly. 

“Yeah, Momma! We did games, and Daddy did trick!” She was much too loud and excited for the late hour, but Y/N was happy to see her so full of energy, so alive. 

“Did he?” 

“Yeah! And he said do more!” she was smiling over at her dad, but Y/N didn't take her eyes off of Fayre. 

“More later?” she said quietly, her mood only slightly deflated at the thought of them leaving. 

“Yeah!” Y/N kept a smile on her face, kept her smile, but couldn't change the disappointment stuck in her eyes, she smiled at Fayre and kissed her on the cheek. 

“You go with Daddy alright? Be back tomorrow?” Y/N said, laughing a little at the words. She had given up, given up on trying to stop the tears stinging at her eyes. She was smiling at her daughter, but she felt like sobbing against her. 

Just another way to disappoint the two of them. 

“Why sad Momma?” Fayre asked, her little hand rubbing Y/N’s cheek as she wiped away the one tear she had let go. Y/N wished she wasn't as smart as she was. 

“I’m not sad little love,” She said, feeling her voice crack at the lie, at the words she’d been trying to believe were true. She sighed softly and smiled sadly at her daughter. “Just tired.” 

Fayre was still looking at her with a furrow in her brows, still staring at her confused. “Don't sad Momma.” 

Y/N laughed bitterly at the words, committing them to memory for later. 

“Alright, Fay. I won't. Be back tomorrow?” she asked once again. 

Fayre wrapped her little arms around Y/N’s neck, squeezing tight like she was trying to make everything better. “Be back tomorrow Momma.” She said as Y/N put her down and pushed her gently towards Spencer. 

Spencer, who'd she’d almost forgotten, was there. She gave herself one opportunity, one look, one look to just see him. And she looked in his eyes, she looked at his face that looked so sad, his eyes that were staring right at hers concerned. She looked at his face that looked almost regretful. 

She looked away. 

She felt her heart beat faster, reminding her of the love she was trying to keep away from him. 

She waved at Fayre one more time, blew her a kiss. 

This time she walked away first. 

She couldn't bear to see them leave again. 

***

She was up late at night when there was a knock. 

Quiet, quick, almost as if whoever was there knew she would still be up. 

She hadn't been sleeping well. She felt words swirling around her head, memories of the things she didn't want to think about popping up at random points. 

She couldn't stop her brain. 

She couldn't get numb again. 

But there was a knock. 

She looked at the safe in her closet, wondering if she should grab her gun, just in case. 

In the end, she’d decided against it. If it was someone bad would they have broken in?

She walked towards the door, turning on the lights, and unlocking it. 

She hadn't expected to see her husband standing on the other side. 

She hadn't expected to see Spencer looking at her. 

She hadn't expected to see relief in his eyes. 

She hadn't expected him to talk to her.

“You’re awake,” he said, almost in awe, almost like he wasn't sure, quiet. 

Y/N just stared at him. 

It was the first time she had looked him in the eyes without any hesitation for weeks. It was the first time she had looked into his eyes without nerves running up and down her spine, without feeling like she had to be ashamed for looking at him. 

She felt her heart beat faster. 

“Spence.” she breathed out. 

He gently grabbed her hand, gently moved her out of the way so he could get through the door, he gently let her hand go and moved to take off his shoes. 

He was taking off his shoes. 

Y/N just watched him, wondering if she was dreaming, if she was dreaming about him coming back home, wondering if this was all fake. 

She hoped she wouldn't wake up for a little bit longer. 

“Y/N.” Spencer said, turning back to her, “Can we talk?” 

It was the first time she had heard him speak to her in days, the first time she had heard her name slip from his lips. 

She left like she was floating.

She wondered why she couldn't feel anything but bliss. 

She wondered when the nerves would catch up. 

She only nodded at him, only gestured to the couch. There was too much going on for her brain to comprehend, she was surviving on only coffee and a couple of caffeine pills, she was up far too late and she didn't know what was going on. 

They both sat down on the couch, and Y/N’s heart got faster at the close proximity of the two. What was going on? 

“We have to talk about everything.” 

And then the nerves caught up. 

And then the nerves invaded her body, filling her to the core with irrational thoughts, with messages from her brain that only made her heart beat faster. 

Divorce. 

Custody.

Leaving. 

The nerves were too much too much, and her eyes were wide and all she could do was nod, just nod at him. Unconsciously she moved farther away from him, preparing herself for the distance he was going to ask for.

He was leaving he was leaving he was going to leave he was-

“I think that we should’ve talked a long time ago.” He said quietly looking down at the floor, staring intensely at something Y/N couldn't see. 

“Yeah.” Y/N said, her voice breaking from the pressure, her body ready to collapse. 

“I’m sorry I left,” Spencer said. 

And it stopped. 

Everything stopped.

He was sorry. He was sorry he left, he was sorry for doing the thing that Y/N had told him to do, doing the thing that she had asked of him, he was sorry he was sorry. 

“Why,” she asked. 

“Because I never should have left. And I never should have left for so long. It was childish and only 58% of long-distance relationships work, and I didn't even leave the city I was just gone and I- I’m not sure what I was thinking-”

“I told you to go.” 

“What?” Y/N was staring at him, staring intently. She missed the sound of his voice but she hated the words coming out of his mouth. This was all of her fault, she had told him to leave, she hadn't done anything about it. This was her fault and he shouldn't have been saying any of this. 

“I told you to leave. I said, “Go ahead and leave Spencer.” She paused and looked down at his feet. “You were only doing what I asked.” 

Silence consumed the room. Y/N still didn't know what else Spencer wanted to talk about, she still didn't know if this meant he wanted to try if he wanted to try and be with her, she didn't know if this meant they were going to get better. 

She couldn't help but think of the empty space that filled her body, she couldn't help but think about the hole in her body that was scarring, that was stuck there, almost numb, unbelievably painful. She couldn't help but think about the words she’d endured to get that hole. 

“I shouldn't have listened to you. You were right.” Spencer said, pulling out of her thoughts, pulling her out of the pain that threatened to take over her body once again. “You didn't deserve me leaving, and neither did Fayre. I should’ve stayed.” 

“Spencer you don't-” 

“And then today. Today I was looking at you, I was watching you. And you just-” he paused and shook his hands in front of his face as if he was trying to reach for the words “you looked so empty. You just- you weren't looking at anything and you were just staring- and I don't think I’ve ever seen you look like that and I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know what was going on but you looked so empty-” 

Y/N paused. Derek had said Spencer was looking at her, he had told her that right to her face, but there was a block keeping her from thinking about it. She was trying not to think about it. But Derek had been right, and Spencer had noticed he had noticed. 

He’d noticed her. 

“Y/N.,” he said, grabbing her face as he pulled her closer to him. “I’ve never seen you look so emotionless. You looked at me after Fayre said goodbye, and it was like there was nothing. There was nothing- and- It scared me. I had no idea what to do, but I could feel that I started it, I could tell it had something to do with us and-”

“Fayre caused it.” Y/N blurted out. 

“What?” Spencer looked at her shocked, his face unmoving. 

“She,” Y/N took a deep breath, not wanting to relive the memory, but wanting to keep the closeness of Spencer so bad she wouldn't stop. “She was having trouble with her shoes, and she was asking for you, and I got mad- god.” Y/N shook her head angrily, mad at her past self for getting mad at Fayre. “I never should’ve gotten mad. I was mad and she was upset and she said-” 

Something was choking her from the inside. Maybe it was the anxiety holding her throat down, maybe it was the nerves that seemed to be everywhere, maybe it was the desperation to forget everything, to pretend to be okay, maybe it was the exhaustion that rested on her eyes weighing them down, maybe it was the buzzing in her heart. 

It didn't matter what it was, it was choking her, stopping the words from escaping her mouth, stopping the words from reaching the air, stopping her from telling Spencer. 

But she fought, she fought against her instinct, fought against all her self defense mechanisms, and something finally let go. 

“She said, I was mean, and that she wanted JJ.” and she gasped. 

The words were out, out into the world, out where her husband- who she hadn't been speaking to, who she hadn't gotten any affection from in months -could finally hear them.

It felt like a shock to say them. 

It felt like a shock to have to say them again, this time to the man she loved most. 

She felt ashamed in herself, for the decisions she had made earlier, for the disappointment she was to her family, for the void that lived in her body. 

“Y/N,” Spencer said, wiping away tears she hadn't noticed escaped her eyes. “She didn't mean that.” 

And the words might have been reassuring, they might have been helpful, might have rested her self hatred, if she wasn't familiar with the person Spencer was. 

He would like just to make her happy. 

‘I think she did,” she said more tears crawling up her throat. “I think she did. Because I understand, because I’m not an amazing mother, and I’m definitely not an amazing wife, and I’ve been unfair to her, and I wish she didn't have to deal with me all the time, I think she meant it-” 

Spencer put a hand over her mouth stopping her words. He was looking at her angry, his brows furrowed in something that looked like disgust, his mouth turned down. 

“Don't ever say that.” He said harshly. 

“What?” Y/N said as she moved back, her words muffled by his hand, surprised at his sudden change in mood. 

“I don't want to ever hear, I don't want you to ever think that you aren't a perfect Mother.” He said, looking her directly in her eyes, his voice wasn't wavering and neither was his mind. “You are an amazing Mother to Fayre. She loves you.” 

When Y/N tried to interrupt Spencer just spoke over her. 

“And you are an amazing wife. You are more than I could’ve ever asked for. So, I do not want to hear another word about you not being enough. It's a lie, and I hate it.”

He stopped and Y/N was still looking at him shocked at the sudden outburst. She had thought that was why she left. She wasn't enough, because Spencer was disappointed in her. After all, she just wasn't good enough. She thought that's why he left. 

That was why he left. 

Wasn't it? 

Tears ran down her face as she stared at him frustrated. 

“Oh, Y/N.,” he said, moving his hand from her mouth and gently wiping another tear away. “I didn't mean to scare you. I just want you to believe me, baby.” 

He was so gentle, so caring, so everything she had been missing for the months they had been constantly fighting with each other. 

She sobbed against his hand. 

“Baby,” he said desperately, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her closer to him. She breathed him in, shocked by the smell she loved so much, shocked that he was so close to her, shocked at how cold she had been without him. 

She had been so cold for so long. 

She sobbed even more, shaking against his chest, gasping for breath. 

She had no idea she could miss a person that was so close to her. 

“I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry any of this happened,” he said, rubbing her hair and pulling her close to him. Spencer felt close to tears himself, watching his wife shake in his arms, he knew that she had been deteriorating for months, for months he knew and he hadn't done a thing. He knew that she was barely there, that another week would have burned her away, he felt ashamed that he hadn't been there sooner. 

“Spence.” she cried, tugging on his shirt and nudging her head into his chest. 

He just sat there, helping her get him closer, helping her remove the last couple of centimeters between them. 

She sobbed and she sobbed into his chest, relieved that he was here, still hoping that this wasn't a dream, that this wasn't some cruel joke the world was playing on her. 

She couldn't just let this go again. 

“Y/N,” Spencer said when she had finally caught her breath when she had stopped shaking.

She looked up at him, her eyes puffy, and pleading, at that moment she looked so vulnerable it made Spencer want to protect her from everything. He didn't want to lose the only thing holding him together. “I love you. I’m so sorry that we’ve been so far apart.” 

She moved her hands from his chest, moving them to his neck and jumping into his lap, straddling him on the couch as he hugged her back just as tight. It was a breath of fresh air to be so close together, they were each other's light in a dark room. 

They had been so far apart. 

“I’m sorry too Spencer. I’m sorry.” 

Spencer just ‘shh’’d her, just held her close to him. They were both exhausted, and it was so late, it was too late. 

It was almost too much to be close to him again. 

They stayed like that, silent and together, silent and right next to each other for a while. They let each other's body heat warm them up, let their hearts get used to the close proximity again, let everything that had happened fade between them. 

It was a while later, a while later when Y/N had felt almost repaired when she could no longer feel the burning of the hole in her body, the hole that had so desperately needed to be filled, the hole that was now barely there. It was then that she finally spoke. 

“Where's Fayre?” she asked quietly against his ear, running her hands through the hair on his neck, enjoying the grip he had on her waist, and the kisses he was leaving on her neck. 

“She’s still at JJ’s. I didn't want to wake her up, but I had to see you.” 

There was a pause and then,

“Spencer,” she whispered softly, in awe that he was there, that they were together again. 

He just kissed her some more. 

They stayed like that, connected, for just a moment longer, just another moment together, before Spencer spoke up again. 

“Y/N?” he asked, moving back only a little bit so he could look into her eyes. 

“Yes?” she asked, staring at the brown eyes she had fallen in love with, the brown eyes that always seemed to fill her with a feeling she would never know how to describe. 

“I love you,” he said softly, pecking her lips. 

When he pulled back she smiled with her eyes closed, smiled at him, smiled at the feeling in her chest, smiled at the happiness she hadn't felt in so long, she smiled and she opened her eyes just so she could look at him because he was right there, he was right in front of her. 

“I haven't seen you smile in so long,” Spencer whispered in awe, running his hand over her cheek as he stared at her. 

She only smiled wider. 

“Spencer?” she said softly, the smile stuck to her face. 

“Yes?” he asked, moving to look back up to her eyes instead of her mouth, her eyes which were shining just for him. 

“I love you,” she said. Quietly. Gently. For what felt like another first time. 

He kissed her. Harder this time.

my masterlist here

[g4rous]

Hi, your works about garou are so good, I just cant get enough of him,😍 so can I get a oneshot for garou with this :What if garou is hanging around in her house quite often, both are growind fond of each other, then one day before he goes, the "bye, see you again" part gets realy long, - I had to divide this request so this the first half -1/2 ✨

second half of the request :the "bye, see you again" part gets realy long, like an awkward pause, or saying bye to each other like a couple of times, because reader/ she contemplates about if she should give him a goodnight kiss like should she ask for it , suggest it or maybe even initiate it? If she gets a goodnight kiss is up to you and also you can switch it to garou having the dilema if its easier for you to write, no worries. Thank you

Hi thanks a lot! 🥺💓💓 This scenario is so adorable my heart can’t take it ty for the request sjnnsnsnsnb 💕

Anticipation (Garou x Reader)

“And that is why-“he swirled the cup of cold soda in his hand- “that guy makes a real crappy vigilante.”

You sat there with a dazed expression as the silver-haired man just finished his 20-minute long monologue about a character from some comic you briefly mentioned reading as a child. You weren’t sure whether your brain just needed a minute to process all the random information you just heard or were you just surprised how casually tenacious his talk was. In any case you’re sure you were listening at the very least. Mostly, that is.

“You sure went deep into the topic, huh,” you spoke, still dazed and trying your best not to chuckle.

“Pft, I’m just stating the obvious. If they decided to make a so-called vigilante then he isn’t supposed to be that basic run-of-the-mill heroic wannabe who sits down and cries after he gets caught by the ‘good guys’.”

“Why don’t you just make a comic yourself?”

“I don’t have time to fool around like that, but if some bozo needed a lesson in what a real villain is I’m there.”

“Of course you would-” you finally burst into a laugh, not being able to contain yourself anymore.

“Oh shut up it’s not like they wouldn’t need it,” he rolled his eyes, mildly irritated he let out a chuckle himself upon your amused reaction.

All sounds quieted after a minute and Garou glanced over at the clock above you striking midnight.

“You have to go already?” you spoke a little bit down, contrasting the laughter from before.

“Yeah,” he got up, “I have some things I need to take care of tomorrow.”

Even though you were familiar with the reason he had to leave, you couldn’t help but want him to stay longer. For months he’s been known to visit you and keep you company almost every night. Whether it’s just random ramblings, eating together, fooling around or conversing about something deeper than the usual, it always had a soothing effect on your hearts. Sometimes you’d find it funny how fond you grew of each other during your time together, and more often than not your mind would always drift to him, regardless of what you were doing at the moment. Chances to give him at the very least a peck on the cheek were numerous, and every time he’d nonchalantly jump out the window after waving you’d find yourself feeling you wanted to do more than just wave back. Even now you were pontificating whether or not to get out of your comfort zone. Not hearing the four times he called your name, you snapped out of your trance and regained focus on his now confused expression.

“Are you okay...? Yer staring like a dummy.”

“Ah.”

Trying your best to ignore the small blush rising to your cheeks, you stepped forward to say goodbye to your friend. If nothing you can go with just a casual hug, you pondered with the thought of a goodnight kiss still in mind. Was it ridiculous to ask of it and would he even be into it were two questions flying around your head like pesky flies. Thinking about it made your heart race and you had to make a decision quick before you’re caught staring into the void again.

“Are you sure you got a place to stay?” you looked at him longingly before itching closer and he caught your gaze. A few seconds of silence passed as if he didn’t hear your question, much to your anxiousness. Your eyes stayed glued on each other until an embarrassing wave of awkwardness allowed you to blink again. What were you even doing at this point you asked yourself nervously, but just as you were about to bail out on your plan, a warm pair of lips found their way on yours. Before you could even blink the man turned towards the window to hide the faint shade of pink on his cheeks.

“Don’t worry, next time I’ll be staying at your place.”

Your face reddened upon the realization of what had happened, but lucky for you he was already out so he couldn’t lay eyes on your adorably bewildered expression. Though, he would enjoy it very much.

[jincherie]

florescence | iv

❀ — pairing: taehyung x reader x seokjin ❀ — genre: hybrid au, hybrid tae, hybrid jin, poly au, fluff, smut (future), angst ❀ — words: 5.1k+ ❀ — rating: sfw ❀ — warnings: a pinch of angst... oops ❀ — notes: fiddling and editing, i felt that i needed to expand this bit more so i added some context and cut the end scene off to make the feature of the next chapter

Okay, so maybe you’re lonely, and maybe there is something missing in your life, a void that you maybe want to fill with a companion that may or may not be of human origin… You’re perfectly content not doing anything about it though, until your best friend calls you in desperate need for your help and you suddenly end up coming home with not one, but two hybrids that may or may not have been on the way to the chopping block had you not taken them in. They’re more than a little rough around the edges, and the situation is less than ideal but… maybe the best things don’t always come in perfect, shiny packages. Maybe they just need a little time to bloom.

— posted; 16.11.2019 // masterlist || prev. | next.

"You're not going to be returning to a happy audience, y/n."

Startled from your position where you are crouched tying your shoe, you look up and take in the sight of Changkyun's feline form leaning against the wall beside you, white-tipped tail flicking idly behind him. Somewhat amused yet chagrined since you know exactly what he's talking about, you let out a sigh and finish tying your shoes before rising to a stand, dusting your hands against your jeans.

"I know," you respond, somewhat dryly. The cat hybrid is a little too smug for your liking, having been privy to the problem that's been making itself known in your life this week. "I can't help it though. If they want to keep eating pancakes and meat dishes then they gotta put up with me leaving the house for work. I need food tokens because that's capitalism, babey."

The hybrid snorts, rolling the ring over his lip with his tongue before deciding to deign you with a response. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone else refer to cash money as food tokens, but you know what it has a nice ring to it, so I'll let you have that one."

"Thanks for the charity," you laugh, slinging your bag over your shoulder. The kids that had been under your care for the evening are fast asleep in their beds, so you don't have to worry about them catching you leaving and throwing a tantrum. Their mother, a lovely woman who works as a secretary to the CEO of one of your local well-established businesses, has already returned home to thank you and pay you. Staff meetings that run late into the night are particularly gruelling for her, and you made her promise she was going to get some good rest before she retired. Changkyun, the household hybrid who has too strong of a personality to ever be anything but the only hybrid in the house, has followed you out to the front door, and is making the most of his remaining time to bother you to the best of his ability.

"Have they told you why, yet?" Changkyun seems unwilling to let the previous topic go, persistent in his efforts to pull the latest information from you. Begrudgingly, you play along and give the nosy cat what he wants. He's awfully invested in your current affairs for some reason, probably because he'd been nagging you to get hybrids of your own for so long and now you'd finally ended up with some, to his glee.

"No," you huff. Your eyes slide away from his form, falling upon one of the lovely paintings displayed on the walls as you pout. "They haven't said a word, but they're still acting the same."

You don't like the look that enters the hybrid's sly eyes. "I can help, you know." He takes a step closer, leaning forward with a shit-eating grin. "I know what's bothering them. Just let me--"

"Rude cat, if you know then why don't you tell me!" you protest, poking his chest in a manner more playful than anything. "And stop trying to rub on me, I know what you're doing. They were really grumpy with me after you did it the first time so don't think I don't see you trying to stir the pot, cheeky cat."

Changkyun grins, eyes closing in his mirth as he steps back with his hands up in surrender and lets out a laugh. "Ok, fine! Take all the fun out of it! Live without ever knowing the truth, see if I care..."

You roll your eyes, knowing he's still playing with you. "Right, well, I'm going to go before you somehow manage to indirectly upset my hybrids even more. I'm watching you, Changkyunnie."

At the appearance of the nickname you've given him, the hybrid can't help but let out a purr as he laughs and bids you farewell. "Bye! See you next week! I wonder if you will have sorted out your little problem by then."

It's very tempting to flip him the bird, very tempting, but somehow you manage to restrain yourself and you think it really is a testament to your willpower. You bid him farewell and make a quick escape, mind a little hung on his words as you make your way from the house and down the path to where you parked your car.

Will you have resolved this "little problem", as he so blasély put it, by this time next week? You aren't sure, but to be honest you are a little doubtful. Why? Well...

You’re unsure if anyone ever took the time to try and explain the concept of working and jobs to your two hybrids.

You say this because you kind of assumed that they’d know what you mean when, barely three weeks after you brought them home, you told them you were going off to work and wouldn't be back until later—except it quickly became clear that was not the case and they did not, in fact, know what you meant. You’ve been growing closer and closer each day that passed and despite what their guidebooks said, they aren't continuing to act as withdrawn as they had been and aren't refusing to let you close. You’re overjoyed, of course, at the development, but you had no idea it would mean they would get so clingy.

Somewhat disgruntled at the turn of your thoughts as you climb into your car, you recall how it had all gone down that first day you'd returned to work. “What?” Seokjin’s voice climbed in pitch as he looked to you in alarm, attention torn from the pancake batter he’d been stirring. You showed him how to make it without help the other day and ever since he’s been trying to perfect it on his own. He blinked like he couldn’t believe what you just said, and you swore you could hear a hint of fear riding in his tone. “You’re what? You’re leaving? Why are you leaving?”

“I have to go to work,” you explained clearly, a little amused and endeared at the fact he’d evidently thought you’d be at home with them all the time. “I need to make money to pay the bills so we can keep living here and making pancakes, you know.”

When you brought the hybrids home, you’d immediately taken some time off work—you know how critical the first few weeks are in establishing comfort and an environment and dynamic where they feel safe. You suppose you never paused and thought about whether they realised you’d have a job that you would have to return to at some point. Perhaps this was your fault.

“Wh—do you have to? Do you have to go?” He was still holding the wooden spoon he was stirring with, looking at you with wide eyes. “Please don’t go.”

“I have to,” you affirmed, sending him an apologetic look. You almost forgot Taehyung was in the kitchen with you until you felt a tugging on your shirt and looked to the stool where he was perched and—oh, no, he was giving you the puppy eyes, the most potent pair of them you’d ever seen in your life.

“Hey, don’t give me those eyes, mister puppy.” You reached and booped his nose; his cheeks flushed and his ears lowered. “I won’t be gone long, you’ll survive.”

To your complete and utter surprise, Taehyung pulled away and angled his body in the opposite direction, effectively turning his back to you and rolling his eyes. You were left gaping at the uncharacteristic show of attitude. He… just rolled his eyes? At you? What…

Seokjin decided to pursue a different avenue in the hopes of persuading you to shirk your responsibility and stay. He droped the spoon into the bowl and rounded the counter in a few large steps, moving quick and taking your hands into his hold. He whimpered sadly, already making a very strong argument. “y/n, please don’t go.”

You were weak-willed when it comes to these two hybrids, as you quickly found out, but it is because of how much you care for them that you were able to resist. It wasn’t without another half hour of whining and clinging that you were able to leave the house, though. You work as a nanny for a select few affluent families, so its not like you’re working fulltime office hours, and most importantly you’re always going to come back. You have no idea why they’re so opposed to the idea of you leaving at all when they’ve shown they understand your reasoning…

The previous days you’ve come home after work, you’ve received a fair spread of responses. At first, they clung to you. When you came home after that first day of work (mind you, you were gone barely five hours that time) from the second you walked through the door, your two hybrids all but tackled you and stayed firmly attached to your side for the entire night after that. If they could, you were sure they’d shackle you to them.

The night after that, the reception was a little different. They were upset that you’d left again, and proceeded to let you know—for about the half hour that they could last without cuddling on the couch, that is. All you had to do was pull pudding out of the oven and your treason was forgotten, hybrids by your side and pressed against you once more. This, understandably, lulled you into a false sense of security of sorts. Perhaps they’d get over it soon?

Nope. The days after that, they switched it up in favour of something they seemed to think would be more effective. You’re no stranger to the cold shoulder, and usually quite sensitive to it, but to be honest… their attempt humoured you more than anything. The visible conflict in their expressions every time they attempted to brush you off is probably what was funniest. Every time they ignored you, or didn’t respond, it went against their nature and their usual urges. They’re soft, cuddly boys, you’ve found. And they might be grumpy, but even as they’re trying to make a statement, they can’t help but long for the way things usually are. Their cold shoulder usually lasts about an hour, and then they break. Nowhere near long enough to really have an effect.

But by today, when you arrive home from the job with Changkyun, you think it’s beginning to wear on you a little bit. When you ease the front door open, banging your toe on the frame and letting out a curse in the process, no one comes to greet you. The house isn’t empty (you can hear them scuffling about in their room) and the lights are on, but still, it feels… a little lonely. You huff, slightly grumpy that they’re still throwing a tantrum over this. As much as you try not to let it show, it is frustrating. You have to work! It’s not something you can simply stop doing because you want to, or your hybrids want you to.

You halt in the hallway to the kitchen, making yourself pause and take a breath. You’re frustrated and a little grumpy, yes, but you don’t want them to pick it up. They’re sensitive to these things, you’ve found. You watched a video on Facebook about kittens that made you cry the other day and barely a second after the first tear touched your cheek had Seokjin almost broke down your door, worried to high hell and back because he smelt it and thought something was wrong. You’ve been very careful since then, not wanting them to feel upset or uncomfortable as a result of your own emotions.  

Once you’re sure you’ve collected yourself enough, you continue into the kitchen, placing your bag on the table as you walk past. Humming and knowing that the quickest way to get them out of their mood is food, you open the fridge to stare inside, hoping an idea for dinner will come to you like a vision from above. Your fridge may be many things, but it’s not prophetic, and currently it’s not stocked with much food either. Huffing, you close the door with a little more force than necessary and turn away, wincing at the following bang. Hopefully the eggs are ok.

You’re not much in the mood to make a big meal tonight, so you make the executive decision to pull the tortellini you’ve been craving from the freezer and set it on the bench. Begrudgingly, after a moment of consideration, you pull out a few vegetables to add to the sauce mix. You suppose you better put some effort in, since you’ve already chosen the lazy meal.

True to character, as soon as the tortellini begins to cook in the pot and the smell begins to permeate the air, you hear the sound of light footsteps creeping down the stairs, attempting to go unnoticed. You wonder if they underestimate the extent of your human hearing, or if they’re just really bad at being sneaky.

They don’t go into the kitchen straight away, but they go to the living room, as close as they can get to the source of the smell without giving in and talking to you. You roll your eyes, partly amused and partly miffed. You suppose this is how it’s gonna be.

Considering how easy of a dish it is, it doesn’t take you long to cook and serve it. Instead of calling them to the kitchen to grab it, you slip out of the room and make you way to where they’ve started watching Netflix, next to each other on the couch.

Whether they don’t hear you coming or are still hell bent on ignoring you, you’re able to sneak right up behind them, the back of their heads peeking just over the back of the couch. Your hands slip forward, fingers weaving through the silky locks atop their head and ruffling them. Both hybrids jerk, Seokjin letting out a surprised yelp as he turns partly in his seat to shoot you an alarmed look.

The tension in their forms melts away in the next second as the tips of your fingers and your nails lightly drag across their scalps, brushing just barely the bottom of their ears. You think you hear a sharp intake of breath, surprisingly from Taehyung’s direction, but can’t verify it before your hands leave the top of their heads and your smiling at them as they turn to face you.

“Dinner is ready, bubs,” you say, somewhat humoured by the visible conflict on their faces—they manage to settle on remaining disgruntled, though, much to your disappointment.

They rise from the couch, pouting, and follow you to the dining table. They seat themselves without another word, and as soon as they see you reaching for your fork and taking your first bite, they follow suit. You think they plan to stay silent throughout the entirety of dinner, but you manage to wear them down enough that Seokjin lets slip a few sentences of how their day went and what they got up to. Aside from that, dinner passes quickly and somewhat tensely. It’s an odd tension, though, as though it’s not yet fully formed and kind of incomplete. Like there’s a lack of conviction and commitment to it.

As soon as they’re done eating, like the sweet boys they are they take their dishes to the kitchen, rinse them off and load them into the dishwasher along with the other containers and utensils used for dinner. You rinse your own bowl as well once done and pop it in with theirs; without even a glance in your direction, Taehyung adjusts it so the fan won’t hit it and then slides the full drawers in, placing a dishwashing tablet in and turning it on. Efficient; he certainly wastes no time about it.

Already even before this point, you knew that they were going to try and bolt the second they could—and it seems your predictions come true, as the second they hear the dishwasher turn on and begin its cycle, the two of them are inching towards the edge of the kitchen, barely an ounce of sneakiness to their name. Fighting a sigh, you dry your hands before taking a few steps and using them to definitively grasp their own. As you lace your fingers together, the two hybrids freeze, Taehyung shooting you a wide-eyed look and Seokjin faltering in his stride.

"Will you two stay, if you're not too tired?" You ask, a shred of vulnerability more than planned making itself known in your voice. "They added some movies I really like to Netflix, and I really wanted to show you. I thought we could watch them together...?"

You can tell the second you look at Taehyung's face, his features softened and eyes shining, that he's given up giving you the cold shoulder for the night. Seokjin's slumped shoulders, tension having fled at your words, also tell you that he's on the same page as his brother. You brush your thumb over his hand and feel his grip tighten as he turns to you, smiling slightly.

"Of course we're not tired yet, what did you want to watch?"

You spend the rest of the night curled with them on the couch, tension long gone and only warm affection drawing the three of you together, and can't help but think maybe this was the last of their protests. They're sweet, these boys, and you know part of the reason they're upset is that you're leaving when they want you to be here, spending time with them.

But alas, it is not to be, and your optimism is quickly shot down.

Their reaction to your continued absence during the work days persists. Each morning you wake and get ready for work, your two hybrids are there almost every step of the way pleading with you to stay, offering any bribe they can think of onto the table to aid their bid—cuddles on the couch, snacks, movies, naps. Admittedly, each day it gets a little harder to steel your resolve and actually go to work, but you try not to let them see that they’re gradually wearing you down. They’re too endearing for their own good—it probably isn’t healthy for them to have you as wrapped around their fingers as they currently do.

At this point, you get the sense that it’s not just one, but a number of reasons at play that make them so averse to you leaving for work. It occurs to you that they’re probably still a bit insecure, given their background and the fact they haven’t actually been here that long. But at the same time, it feels like it’s also more than that.

You work as a nanny and babysit children, but since you work for families who are usually perched on the upper echelon, it’s not uncommon for you to be spending a lot of time in proximity to other hybrids as well. Ever since they were first created, hybrids have been a symbol of wealth and affluence. Despite much more of the middle and working class having them as companions these days, in a sense that earlier attitude still stands. A few of the families you work for have hybrids, two of them having more than one. Thankfully, none of them mistreat their hybrids, in actuality you were surprised upon first working for them to find that they’re treated almost as well as the children are. It makes you happy to see such a shift from the common attitude, and the hybrids themselves are all so lovely that even when the kids have crummy days and want nothing more than to throw tantrums, you have no complaints.

Despite just over a week and a half of avoidance about why they’re so grumpy, it seems today is the day you’re finally going to gain an insight into the cause of their behaviour and push your hybrids over a line you didn’t even know was there until they cross it.

It’s a Friday where you’ve just arrived home after working with one of those families with multiple hybrids, that you seem to push your own over a line of sorts. You’re a little tired as you come through the door, eagerly slipping your boots off and hanging your bag and jacket up. Neither of the hybrids come running to greet you, as they might have done before you ‘betrayed’ them and started leaving the house for work. You’re less amused than you might have been in days prior, and more pouty—ever since they started cuddling you you’ve grown addicted, and you miss the warmth and affection when you’re away.

Well, you suppose today you’ll either have to go find them or let them gradually come to you.

Humming to yourself, you bring the take-away boxes of stir fry the family had been so kind to share with you into the living room, plopping them on the coffee table with some cutlery. They tinkle and clank together obnoxiously, as most metal items do, and you open a box and sit back, waiting for the sound and the smell of meat to rouse the hybrids from wherever they’re hiding.

You don’t have to wait long—Taehyung is the first to appear, his eyes lighting up on instinct the second he sees you, before he catches himself and smooths his expression, averting his eyes to the food on the table and taking one of the boxes and some cutlery. Even when he’s pouting, he can’t stand being too far away from you; he perches on the cushion next to you, but as far away as the armrest will allow him so that he can still let you know he’s not happy you left this morning. He’s so cute, sitting there and pouting as he shoves stirfry in his mouth, you can’t even find it in yourself to be annoyed at his childlike behaviour. The two of you eat in silence until Seokjin comes, the male’s soft footfalls announcing his presence before the sound of his inquisitive sniffing does.

You look up as he enters the room, curious to see if the fox hybrid will continue giving you a weak attempt at the cold shoulder as he has been for the first hour or so after you get home every night. He does, but when you give him a pleasant greeting with a bright smile you can see his resolve waver. He grabs his food and cutlery and sets up on the couch adjacent to this one, pointedly avoiding your eyes lest his resolve completely shatter. There is a small amount of tension in the air but you decide to let them finish their meals before you address it. Enough is enough but you’re all also hungry.

The second both of them are done and sitting back in content, you stack the boxes and push them further into the middle of the table so they don’t tip. Your movement brings you closer to Seokjin, and he sniffs subtly before his nose wrinkles and his brows draw down harshly. He doesn’t say anything, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip instead, but you catch it nonetheless.

Curious at the reaction and knowing (hoping) you don’t smell bad, you turn to Taehyung and lean closer experimentally to see if he will give a similar response. He does, still not looking at you—surprise filters through you when you see his features twist into a scowl. Wow, this past week you’re really seeing a new side to the shy baby, huh?

“Alright, what is it?” you ask, throwing the question into the tense air before either of them can bolt and fester with whatever mood they’re in. “Why are the two of you so upset and why do you pull that face when I get close? Do I stink?”

To his credit, Seokjin appears a little sheepish at being called out, cheeks flushing with brief embarrassment—Taehyung on the other hand remains steadfast and petulant, crossing his arms. His ears are lowered and still, he refuses to look at you.

“…No,” Seokjin answers you, eyes flicking away. He’s pouting, tone bordering on a grumble. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

You blink, surprised at the sass and distance he’s suddenly putting between you. It didn’t take you long after they arrived to realise that Seokjin preferred open communication and honesty, but had a little trouble working up the nerve to say things sometimes and hence stayed quiet instead. But this time he’s fibbing to you, brushing it under the rug and attempting to dismiss it when you can see something is up. You can’t help but wonder what brought that about.

“Oh?” you say, turning your gaze to Taehyung—the action makes you catch him while glimpsing at you and he rips his gaze away, cheeks flushing as he scowls more. “It’s ‘nothing’ that has the two of you so grumpy?”

Seokjin’s brows drew together, lips tugging down into a frown. Your words seem to set him off a bit, as he’s suddenly on the defensive. “No.  Maybe. What do you care? You’re never here anymore and you—you probably don’t even care about us anymore. You’re too busy caring about—about other h-people. Whatever.”

Your brows shoot up as he stands suddenly, Taehyung following suit—you can tell that Seokjin wants to stomp off and keep being dramatic by ignoring you, but he can’t seem to make himself skip saying goodnight to you. So he says it, but makes sure to imbue it with as much sass and attitude as possible. “Goodnight.”

Completely taken aback, you watch as they file out of the living room and no doubt go to make their way upstairs to their room. You’re not angry, but you’re definitely a bit confused and feel a little guilty, among other feelings that quickly begin to make themselves known. The two of them know that you look after children for your job, and when you told them it didn’t seem to make them bitter or envious—it seems more than a little out of character for them to be upset that you leave them to babysit kids now.

You’re actually a little hurt, if only because you’re also confused and have no idea why they’re acting this way. You have no idea, and they won’t tell you—you could probe further, press harder, but will that make them tell you, or will it push them further away? You don’t want to risk upsetting them more, and if that’s a possibility you don’t think you could make yourself follow through with it.

Sitting there on the couch, completely alone and very aware of the absence of their warmth, your chest aches a little. You’re new to this, you don’t know all the things a new hybrid owner probably should, and it shows. Your first instinct is to focus on them—what is their problem?—but now that you sit here and ruminate a little, you realise that this is more than a little bit your fault. If you were a more knowledgeable owner, then surely you’d have at least an inkling as to what is wrong. But you don’t, you’re so painfully in the dark it’s shameful enough to make a fresh wave of guilt course through you.

You need to find out more, research a little, but you’re not sure where to start. You have no clue what is bothering them in the first place, and even less idea as to how to solve it. Deep in your thoughts, you rise and begin tidying up after dinner in a bit of a haze. You almost drop the cutlery on the way to the kitchen, but manage to catch it just at the last second. After cleaning what you needed to, you made your way to your bedroom and curled into the bed, a frown tugging your lips of its own accord. It takes you a while to settle down and fall asleep as your mind races and leaves you in its wake. You really hope this whole thing doesn't go on for too long, because it's only been a single night that they've ignored you like this and it sucks.

The next day after you work-- a different house to yesterday, one with two male hybrids of the labrador variety-- the reaction is much the same, if not worse. They don't even come out when you call them for dinner, having arrived home early enough to actually make it today. At some point, they come out and take their plates of food, but you miss it, which you're quite upset at yourself for. The first and only time you see them that evening, is by chance as you emerge from your room after a shower and catch a glimpse of them scuttling back to their own. Their dishes are on the kitchen bench when you go to fetch some water, and it makes your heart twinge a little. They're really not going to talk to you at all? You don't think you're doing anything that bad! You have no choice but to leave for work, you need income so you can support yourself and now them. It's not something you can just drop and never deal with, and you have a feeling they know that and yet... something is upsetting them. You just want them to tell you, so that you can try and fix it however you can.

That night, you contemplate knocking on their door and seeking them out, and even get all the way to the closed door of their room before you halt, hand in the air. Ultimately, you can't make yourself do it. Perhaps, if they want to be alone, then leaving them alone is best. Heart hanging heavy in your chest, you turn on your heel and silently make your way to your room, but not before you utter a soft "Goodnight, boys." knowing that no matter how quietly you say it, they'd still hear it.

Your mood is looking like it's about to quickly spiral, so in an effort to prevent it you find yourself in the middle of a self-consolation session. Tomorrow you don't have any work, a day off you've been looking forward to, so surely that will cheer them up and make them emerge from their shells? You miss them, and as you curl into your bed once more without the lingering warmth of their usual cuddles that you seem to have grown accustomed to, you feel lonelier than ever.

You really hope that tomorrow, things will turn around a little.

a/n: i hope u enjoy it n please let me know what u think! the next part is already partially done so it shouldn’t be too long before the next part is out! hurray for the academic year ending here !!

masterlist || prev. | next.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 84

[Date: 16/03, 8:40 PM GMT - 16/03, 9:06 PM GMT]

CONTENT WARNING: Mild body horror

[Direct continuation of pt 83]

kateza: “only thing i can think of is getting like

plant cutters?”

donti (e): “we can somehow simulate the exact opposite of what syd went through...?”

[kateza: “only thing i can think of is getting like]

donti (e): “potentially attached to brain”

[kateza: “plant cutters?”]

Renboo: “oh so weed killer is a no but plant cutters? yeah sure do that- /sarc”

[Little-K1ng: “alright how about damage mitigation? jack, you knew syd. you knew her through the..... uh... "process". do you have anything to share?”]

Jack the Observer: “Just. She had a headache. Bedridden. The warden said it was like red strings tying down her mind.”

kateza affectionate: “... right, right. sorry.

ignore me.,”

llyr: “you’re alright kate, it was worth suggesting. we’re just brainstorming for now”

Jack the Observer: “You could try wire cutters, actually. That’s not. A horrible idea.

I don’t know if it’s good.

But not like. That bad.”

Renboo: “how durible is gold anyway-”

[Jack the Observer: “Just. She had a headache. Bedridden. The warden said it was like red strings tying down her mind.”]

Little-K1ng: “speaking of bedridden i need to sit down or something, marcus, can you bring me 2 pills from the bottle on my desk ?”

donti (e): “good is an incredibly soft metal

and is usually impure to prevent bending”

kateza: “but with how fast it seemed syd's grew...

i don't know sorry sorry”

Little-K1ng: “i mean, syd had direct contact with crown outside of being a court member, right?

these boys kinda dont have that”

[kateza: “but with how fast it seemed syd's grew...]

Jack the Observer: “It was four days of headache at least before the trial

She was really ill”

donti (e): “... so we potentially have two days left?

dreaming: “we should try. cutting them off or something? it might delay it”

Void: “is it possible that crown needs to be around for it to grow and that's at least part of why you found him around your house?”

kateza: “might hurt him”

donti (e): “it might hurt max tho”

dreaming: “we could try and if it hurts we stop”

Maxwell: “please no”

[Void: “is it possible that crown needs to be around for it to grow and that's at least part of why you found him around your house?”]

donti (e): “point”

Jack the Observer: “Can he feel through the buds? Or would it be more like cutting hair/nails”

dreaming: “okay”

Little-K1ng: “oh yeah those footprints and handprint..... i heard about those

i still need to check those out now that its daylight, but i cant really do it like this”

donti (e): “can marcus do it?”

llyr: “it’ll likely just grow back, though. in order to get rid of weeds, you have to pull it out by the root, which in this situation might not be possible”

[Maxwell: “please no”]

Little-K1ng: “max, come sit on the couch with me ?”

[dreaming: “we should try. cutting them off or something? it might delay it”]

Renboo: “wasn't there a very brief mention of it hurting whenever someone so as touched whatever the thing is? just imagine how painful using wire or plant cutters would be- and with the possblility of it growing back too i dont think theres anyway to cut it without hurting max a lot”

[Little-K1ng: “speaking of bedridden i need to sit down or something, marcus, can you bring me 2 pills from the bottle on my desk ?”]

Marcus: “Of course! Sorry I was lost in thought”

[Little-K1ng: “max, come sit on the couch with me ?”]

Maxwell: “okay okay--”

kateza: “i don't think i can help with anything else here so i think i'm going to... go. /ic”

llyr: “ok, bye kate. i hope you have a good day :3″

kateza: “... i'll try. i just don't want to piss anyone else off”

dreaming: “okay that's logical won't do that then”

Little-K1ng: “dont worry, kate. we're not mad

at least im not, and you can keep that in mind”

kateza: “fetch was, marcus wasn't happy that i just said what was going on”

Little-K1ng: “in a way it works out”

kateza: “i just don't want it to happen again, y'know?”

Marcus: “I’m not mad

I just...

Max is under a lot of stress”

kateza: “i also remember when you smacked me down as Viscount so seeing it happen again kind of... i dunno”

Marcus: “All of whatever just happened wasn’t helping”

[kateza: “i also remember when you smacked me down as Viscount so seeing it happen again kind of... i dunno”]

Marcus: “I did what”

Jack the Observer: “Understandably so. This is a stressful situation.”

Renboo: “viscount what-”

donti (e): “it's definitely going to hurt him if unaddressed though”

kateza: “verbally smacked me down

not physically

although i was kind of being a little shit but it was because i just did not know what else to do”

Marcus: “I don’t... i did that?”

kateza: “frankly i kinda deserved it and anyone that saw it could probably corroborate that I deserved it”

[kateza: “verbally smacked me down]

Renboo: “okok i thought viscount like smacked the shit out of you or something-”

Maxwell: “You know....this...almost reminds me of when i was a kid, or well i guess younger....whenever I was sick or scared I would curl up on the couch with someone, even when I was anxious I would still do it.....I haven't done it in so long....”

Marcus: “Let me get you some blankets, Max. Ultimate comfort pile”

Jack the Observer: “Calm yourself”

Marcus: “Man, it would be really cool to just be able to create blankets when we need them”

Maxwell: “how....are we gonna get rid of em”

Renboo: “completely off topic but do you think we could all like group up or something and like- storm crown's mansion? like even if we only had a group of like 20 there's only abt 5 of them so they'd all have to fight 4 of us each like do you think that'd have any effect on anything like if we kidnapped crown or something do you think that we coud get him to tell us something”

Jack the Observer: “No

Barrier blocks.”

donti (e): “bad idea... remember the last time someone suggested it?”

Renboo: “no”

donti (e): “so many reasons no”

Jack the Observer: “so many reasons no.”

donti (e): “many many reasons”

Marcus: “...it wouldn’t be the best idea

I don’t know if you’ve noticed”

donti (e): “we don't even know the full extent of his power”

Grimm: “You would regret that immediately for multiple reasons”

Marcus: “But Crown has more powers than Ranboo does”

Renboo: “i completely forgot crown and ranboo have the same body nvm”

Maxwell: “fuck my heads hurting again”

kateza: “marcus i dunno if you wanted to see it but it was back when I honestly didn't know what else to do and viscount decided he'd had enough of me”

donti (e): “MAX u ok”

Marcus: “Okay turning the lights off”

[kateza: “marcus i dunno if you wanted to see it but it was back when I honestly didn't know what else to do and viscount decided he'd had enough of me”]

Marcus: “I don’t...I don’t remember”

Maxwell: “im fine just....hurts again is all”

kateza: “i won't send the link unless you give me explicit permission to, alright?”

Marcus: “What if I massage your head but steer clear of the buds? Do you think that might help? It’s kind of like growing pains right?”

[kateza: “i won't send the link unless you give me explicit permission to, alright?”]

Marcus: “I...don’t know if I want to”

kateza: “that's perfectly fine! your comfort is valued and I'll do my best to make sure that it stays that way”

Maxwell: “you could try if you wanted, i hope its just after pain and nothing new growing in...”

Marcus: “I don’t think they’d grow that fast, im sure it’ll be alright. We’ll figure this out

Okay, just let me know if it hurts too bad alright?”

Maxwell: “okay....

im....kind of tired...can i have a nap.....?”

Marcus: “Max, of course

You don’t need to ask to nap”

Maxwell: “just....wanted to be sure....thank you...”

Marcus: “Of course! Monas already asleep I’m sure she won’t mind if you use her as a pillow”

[talinexa]

Picture - One-Shot

Prompt from Here! (There are actually two prompts from that list in this piece ;-P Happy hunting.) I need some softness right now. Also I have an actual design for Stardrop if anyone ever wants to see

I sat in the bay window of one of the several playhouses on the play island, one leg dangling toward the floor, the other up so I could rest my elbow on my knee. The sun was setting, casting its beautiful colors and subdued light over the Destiny Islands. I’d cast off my elbow-length jacket and left it in a heap on the floor, but kept my fingerless gloves on. It had been a while since I’d been back home.

The wood creaked somewhere behind me.

I turned.

“Thought I’d find you up here,” Riku said. “This was always your favorite spot.”

I smiled. “Well, people don’t change much. The sunset is beautiful tonight.”

“Mm. Yeah,” Riku remarked, not looking away from me to see the sunset.

“Here. Let me move so you can sit and watch with me.” I moved to adjust my seat, but Riku raised a hand to stop me.

“Wait, let me get a picture of you there.”

“What?”

He pulled out his Gummiphone. “Look back out the window and sit how you were.”

I put my elbow back on my knee and gazed out the window. I heard Riku’s camera shutter snap. Then the creaking of the floorboard again and another shutter. I turned. “Happy now?” I asked.

“Of course. The lighting was really nice and you looked so photogenic in that position.” He crossed the room and sat next to me in the bay window, giving me a moment to make room for him. “Been a while since we watched a sunset together from here,” he commented casually.

A while translated to a couple years, at this point. “Yeah,” I agreed. “I’ve missed it. Remember when we used to hide from Sora and Kairi in here, waiting for them to finally admit they liked each other?”

Riku started laughing. “Oh yeah,” he said.

We went quiet for a moment. “I miss those days,” I muttered. “Before all the crazy and the Keyblades happened.”

“Me too. Life seemed so simple then. We just wanted to explore the worlds.”

“Yeah... but with that raft... we would have been dead within a week.”

“I never said we were smart kids.”

I started laughing. “Fair enough.”

The sun made its last dip to the horizon and vanished. Beams of scarlet shot through the deep blue sky that was slowly turning black.

“C’mon,” Riku said, getting up and offering me a hand. “Let’s get down to the boats before it gets too much darker. If you want, I’ll tie yours to mine and row you back.”

I chuckled and let him help me up. “Always the gentleman,” I teased.

He scooped up my jacket and threw it at me.

We strolled down the hill of the play island to the docks. Riku helped me into my boat before hopping into his. He ran a hand through his short, spiked hair and took up his oars. I grabbed mine too and we worked our way away from the dock toward the main island. Once we made it past the strongest waves of low tide, Riku threw a little rope to my boat. “I can row myself back,” I protested.

“Just tie it to the spike on your bow,” Riku said with a smile. I rolled my eyes and tied the rope.

“Let me---” I began.

“No, no. Let me. I like doing this. It’s honestly not much harder. Water is really good for reducing overall weight of something and momentum makes it so I can barely feel that I’m rowing with more.”

“Nerd,” I teased.

“Just take some time to relax, okay?”

“Okay. For now.”

I let Riku row me across the water between the play island and the main island, sitting so I was facing him. He smiled at me.

“Y’know,” I said after several moments of conversational silence, “I like your hair short.”

He grinned. “Thanks,” he replied. “Takes some, uh... takes some getting used to. I had it longer for so... well, long, that the short feels bizarre. Like, light, I mean. There’s not as much weight on my neck.”

I shook my hair---longer than his ever got---off my shoulder. “I know exactly what you mean,” I said. “Back when we were ten and I cut my hair short, I felt so weird until it started getting longer and heavier again. Like my head would detach from my neck and float away.”

“Yes! That’s exactly how it felt.” Riku beamed at me.

When we were younger, before everything adventurous, Riku’s smiles had always been full of mischief. Genuine ones were rare. It was like seeing a meteor shower---beautiful but uncommon.

I glanced up at the sky. The last rays of sunlight had faded. The moon was rising, reflecting off the surface of the waves in a huge patch of glistening white. The stars were out, glittering on the blanket of blackness that was the night sky. I smiled. “The stars are beautiful tonight. Really bright.”

“The stars wish they were as bright as you.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Sorry. Talking to myself,” Riku said.

We were quiet for most of the rest of the way to the main island. When we got near enough to ride the waves to the beach, Riku pulled in his oars. Once his boat slid into the sand, he jumped out and pulled it out of the way to help me. As the waves pushed my boat up the sand, he grabbed it---ignoring the fact that I was still in it---and pulled it out of reach of the tides. Once it was safe, he helped me out of it.

“Let me walk you home. It’s dark,” he said.

“Thanks,” I replied. “While we’re walking, show me that picture you took of me back at the playhouse.”

Riku just smiled. It was the smile full of mischief from our younger days. “Later, I promise,” he said. “Don’t wanna get distracted when it’s dark. Darkness is dangerous.”

I scoffed. “There’s, like, no crime on the islands and we could handle any stray Heartless that happen to manifest,” I remarked.

“Still. Better not to get taken by surprise.”

“Fine. That’s a good point.”

We moved to head up the hill toward the town. The hill wasn’t terribly steep, but it was always an irritating hike. I wondered if it was old habit or chivalry that had Riku putting his hand on the small of my back and pushing me up the hill. He’d done it many times before when we were younger and Sora and I would complain about the hike.

Back then he wasn’t as gentle though. It used to be a more playful shove up the hill.

When we got to my house, the porch light was off. I glanced up at the moon and back to Riku. “Thanks for walking me back,” I said. “And thanks for the push up the hill.” I giggled.

Riku smiled. “Well, it’s my job as the strong one of the group to push you guys when you feel like you can’t keep going.”

“Oh come on---we all know the strong one is Kairi.”

That made Riku snort. “True,” he conceded playfully. “Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He waved. I waved back as he headed off. “Night!” I called quietly.

***

I barely stepped out of the shower, hair bound up in a towel, when I got a notification on my phone that Riku had tagged me in a post.

Upon opening it, I saw that it was the picture he’d taken of me in the playhouse. Looking out over the island and the ocean, dark orange rays of sunset bathing my face and bringing out the tiniest sheen of orange in my hair. The subdued light washed out most of the harsh lines shadow left on my face, giving me a soft look. It was, in fact, an incredibly photogenic picture.

Destiny Islands’ sunsets are beautiful, but even those pale in comparison to her. #LifelongFriend #Aesthetic #Beautiful #DestinyIslands #Sunset #MyBestGirl

I felt my ears grow warm and texted him.

Me: Charmer.

Riku: ???

Me: The post?

Riku: Oh. Well. I meant every word. G’night.

Me: Night. Sleep well. Talk tomorrow.

Riku: Definitely.

Smiling, I put my Gummiphone on my bedside table and snuggled down for the night.

If I dreamt, I don’t remember anything from it. Sometimes, after all the adventures, I woke up in a cold sweat after nightmares in the middle of the night. Usually I was okay, but occasionally I saw Riku getting possessed by Ansem in the Hollow Bastion Keyhole room. Other times I saw Kairi getting slashed across the back by Xehanort. And yet other times, I saw Sora getting killed hundreds of times over by all the enemies we faced on a day-to-day basis.

But that night, my sleep was dreamless. Hours upon hours of empty void.

I woke up the next morning to a text from Kairi.

Kairi: SINCE WHEN ARE YOU AND RIKU A THING?

Me: ??? We’re not???

Kairi: I SAW HIS POST!

Me: Kairi, he’s just being silly. A bit dramatic for the sake of entertaining.

Kairi: -_- That’s not true. I bet he likes you.

Me: 50 munny says you’re wrong.

Kairi: I’m training with him later today on the beach of the play island. I’ll ask him then. You’re so on. I’m going to be 50 munny richer by sunset.

Me: Haha. We’ll see.

Kairi: See you later to pick up my winnings.

Me: Bye Kairi.

I put my Gummiphone down on my bedside table again and got out of bed. Quickly, I changed out of my pajamas and into some normal clothes. I was still a bit tired but there was stuff that I needed to do. After several years of adventuring, business at home was crazy. Sora, Riku, and I all had nearly two years of school to catch up on. Kairi had missed less than one and had caught up fairly quickly.

Once I was ready, with my hair brushed and clothes on, I had a quick breakfast, brushed my teeth, and went running out the door, slinging my backpack on. “Bye Mom! Love you!” I shouted as I yanked the front door open.

“Bye sweetheart!” Mom called. “Have fun at school!”

“I will!” I shut the door behind me and whirled to go jogging down my street.

And ran right into someone. “Oof! Morning.”

“Riku! Morning!” I exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

“Just thought we could walk to school together.”

“Oh. That’s a great idea,” I said with a smile. Riku offered me his arm. I looped my arm through his and we headed off for school. I fidgeted with my tie with my free hand. I’d never been particularly good at tying them, even after years of practice, and my two-year break to go save the worlds hadn’t helped my fingers’ inability to tie a tie.

We were quiet as we walked down my street. Riku’s family didn’t live far, and neither did Sora’s. We were all pretty close.

“It’s weird to be back at school,” Riku said. “It feels so...”

“Boring? Unimportant?” I suggested.

“I guess. Kinda. We’ve had the safety of the worlds riding on us for so long now that sitting in a classroom just feels almost too easy. Too relaxing. Like, I’m constantly on-edge just waiting for a massive Heartless to tear the door down and attack the classroom.”

“I feel the same. I’ve already broken two pencils from clenching them as hard as I do my Keyblade’s hilt. I keep waiting for my pencil to transform into my Keyblade because there’s a threat in the hallway.”

Riku nodded in agreement. “That’s why you and I sit so close to the door, huh? To protect everyone else,” he said.

“Yeah,” I replied. “Because if something happened, we’d be the only ones who could in our class.”

Riku nodded. We rounded the corner closer to the school building. I half-expected Riku to let me go. We weren’t an item and being seen walking together arm-in-arm would start rumors that we were.

But he didn’t. We just kept walking. Other kids---there weren’t that many on the island---were making their way to the school too.

Riku didn’t let me go until we sat down---next to the door---in our first class of the day. We sat next to each other and didn’t really talk to anyone. These were kids, in the class with us, who’d been two grades below us growing up. But since we’d missed so much, we were catching up with them. We didn’t know the others particularly well and so we kept to ourselves in the back of the room.

Riku and I shared a look of understanding and settled in for class.

I twirled my pencil between my fingers. Riku bounced his leg. We were both nervous and restless. Had been for a few months while we waited. Neither of us were even sure what we were waiting for. The next crisis, I supposed.

When I caught a glare from a classmate, I set my pencil down and started drumming my fingers on my leg to keep it quieter. I’d spent two years or so wired and ready to jump into battle at any moment that sitting in a classroom was getting monotonous and, frankly, somewhat terrifying.

Because the longer nothing happened, the bigger the something that would eventually happen.

Riku reached under our desks and grabbed my hand to stop my drumming. “It’s okay,” he whispered, so quietly he was basically mouthing it.

“I know,” I replied. “Just waiting for it all to go wrong.”

“Me too.” He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and a nod. I nodded back, taut and terse.

***

Riku peeked at her out of the corner of his eye. She had gone back to paying attention to the teacher’s lesson. Since she’d been glared at for twirling her pencil and he’d taken her hand to calm her drumming, he could see her toe tapping in her shoe.

Part of him didn’t want to look away. She looked the same now as she had bathed in the light of the sunset. Absolutely stunning, even if her expression was tense and worried.

She glanced over. Before she could turn to face him, he went back to looking at the teacher.

She let go of his hand under the desk in order to take up her pencil and take notes. She bumped her knee to his to reassure him she was still there and scratched away in her notebook.

***

I sunk my Keyblade into the sand, leaned on it, and looked out to the horizon where the water met the sky. A few stray hairs were stuck to my face from sweat, but that was what happened when I ran drills in the late afternoon on a tropical island. I’d grown up on the islands and, let me just say, visiting Arendelle was torture for me if I didn’t have at least two coats on.

“Well, we survived another day of school,” Riku remarked. I jumped and whirled to see him approaching. Braveheart, his new Keyblade, was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t planning to spar with me just yet, then.

“Yeah,” I grunted, looking back to the sea and leaning even more heavily on my Keyblade. It sunk further into the soft, dry sand.

I heard Riku’s camera shutter go off again. I peeked at him to see his Gummiphone turned toward me. When he realized I caught him, he gave me a somewhat smug smile and put the Gummiphone back in his pocket. He shrugged. “Can’t help it. You look so nice today.”

I snorted. “Sweaty and nervous. Got it. My best look.”

“C’mon,” he enticed, mildly irritated. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

I met his eyes. “Maybe not; but you certainly have odd timing for taking pictures.”

He shrugged, a small smirk playing on his face. “Candid pictures always look the best. It’s just... natural, I guess,” he said. He patted the Gummiphone in his jacket pocket and slid it off. With a flick of his elbow, the jacket got thrown to the side, draping itself over a ramshackle fence that kids long before us had built at the back of the beach. Leaving Riku in just the white, sleeveless V-neck shirt he usually wore after school. Revealing exactly how muscular he was.

With a bright flare of light, Braveheart appeared in Riku’s hand and he bent into his fighting stance.

I twitched, remembering Vanitas dropping into an extremely similar pose.

Shaking my head to clear it, I pulled my Keyblade from the sand and struck my stance.

Riku smirked. “Gonna fight me?” he teased.

“Gonna beat you,” I retorted with a grin.

That made both of us laugh. We both knew Riku was stronger than I was---and a much more skilled Keyblade wielder. I wasn’t going to beat him. Not in this lifetime anyway. No matter how hard I worked, he always beat me.

But... there was a reason he was a Keyblade Master and I wasn’t yet.

“Show me what you got,” Riku prodded. I smiled.

Feinting right, I attacked left. Managing to give Riku a good whack in the back.

The visceral reaction that caused made me desummon my weapon. He cried out and fell to his knees in the sand, Braveheart disappearing in a flash of light.

I desummoned my Keyblade and dropped to my knees next to him. “Riku? Are you okay? What was that about?” I demanded, grabbing his upper arm gently to keep him from faceplanting. The hot sand burned at the exposed skin on my legs, but I ignored it.

He shook his head, pushing his hand through his hair. “It’s fine. It’s just---” He cut himself off and reached back.

With a few tugs, he untucked the white shirt from his blue trousers, revealing a long scar over his lower back---almost exactly where I hit him, but angled slightly off.

I gasped. “Riku... I’m sorry---I didn’t know---”

“It’s fine,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Is that...?”

“Xemnas hit me with one of his ethereal blades. In the nothingness. It was just me and Sora. Sora was down and I---well. You know me. I would gladly give my life for Sora’s a hundred times over if it meant he could save everyone and everything.”

I reached out but stopped short of touching Riku’s skin. “I’m so sorry, Riku. I wouldn’t have---”

“I know. You didn’t mean to. It just gave me a... a flashback I guess,” Riku said.

“Let’s not spar today,” I said. “Let’s just go sit on the paopu tree and watch the tides and not think on what’s happened to us for the last two years. How about that?”

Riku clenched his jaw. Braveheart reappeared. He drove it into the sand and used it to stand up. “No. If I can’t work through it in training, there’s no way I’ll be able to work through it in actual combat. Just try not to hit me there again, okay?”

“I’ll try, really hard,” I said.

Riku nodded. “’Kay.”

I stepped back a few steps and summoned my Keyblade. Stardrop was a beautiful weapon. A star-shaped hilt and blue-fire as the “teeth” of the key. The keychain was a shooting star. I loved my Keyblade. It fit me perfectly.

Riku nodded. “Let’s do this,” he said.

We sparred, laughing at each other and ourselves as we did so. We liked to tease and goad each other. It was mutually consensual.

After a few minutes, Riku knocked me to the sand, landing on top of me and leveling Braveheart at my throat. “Noble effort, but not quite there yet,” he said. Panting, I nodded and shoved him off.

“I know. I’m working on it,” I said.

Riku laughed and offered me his hand. I took it and let him help me stand up. “You are doing better.”

“Thanks.” I shook my head. “Gonna be washing sand out of my hair for the next week,” I muttered.

Riku grimaced. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Occupational hazard.”

We made our way to the paopu tree and climbed up to sit on it. Riku generally tended to lean against the bend in the trunk, but this time he climbed up next to me.

We watched the waves for a while. The sea breeze was pleasant and the afternoon cooled off to evening.

Riku set his hand on my knee. “Thank you for understanding.”

“Well... we all have bad feelings relating to what’s happened in the past.”

“Yeah... I appreciate it though,” Riku said. “I... it means a lot to me that you’re always here for me.”

“Thanks, Riku,” I said. I set my hand on top of his on my knee. “I appreciate you always keeping an eye on me and making sure I’m safe.” I glanced over at him. His eyes were turquoise in the deepening light.

I pulled out my Gummiphone and took a picture of him looking out to the sunset.

He glanced over at me, raising his eyebrows.

“What? I had to take a picture of you there,” I said playfully.

Riku just chuckled and shook his head. “Fair enough. Just don’t post it.”

Biting my lip, I slid my Gummiphone into my pocket. I leaned over to him, kissed his cheek, said, “No promises,” jumped off the tree, and ran for the docks.

I heard Riku shouting my name, but I surprised him and had a head-start.

[petri808]

A Crazy Dream

Happy Birthday!  @bearpluscat  Lol, I wanted to make you laugh and I hope this works.  Its a silly crossover Drabble for you :). 

It had been a fluke that Kagome had discovered the well had not closed for good behind her, a year after returning to the Edo period.  Which was great news considering she did miss her family, and now they had a chance to travel back and forth again.  She simply chalked it up to her increased miko abilities.  One day, Kagome and Inuyasha decide to take another trip. The holiday season should be happening back home, if she’d timed it correctly, and it would be great to wish her family well.  

They jump through like normal, expecting to land on the other side, but instead of hitting the bottom of the well in the modern era, something goes wrong.  It was like they had been trapped in the stone again, floating in a sea of nothingness.  

“What’s going on?” Inuyasha pulls Kagome close.

“I don’t know,” she clings to his side, “this has never happened before…”

Meanwhile in another universe, another couple was readying themselves to visit some friends.  Natsu and Lucy were preparing for their upcoming wedding and Lucy wanted to inform all of her spirts at the same time.  It was such a big deal for the both of them to be finally tying the knot, and she knew they’d want to know, especially the King who’d always supported them.  Plus, she could speak to Cancer about doing her hair while they visited.  It was a win, win.  

She calls upon Loke to help them travel to the Celestial World and he opens a rift going in first, with the couple right behind him.  But as he steps into his own world, something strange happens.  Natsu and Lucy are cut off and left in a weird void of space that seemed to stretch on forever.  

“Did that damn cat leave us stranded between our worlds!”  Natsu crosses his arms.  “I told you he’s jealous I get to marry you.”

“Oh hush,” Lucy chides him, “I’m sure this is a mistake…”

Inuyasha flicks his ear towards some voices in the distance.  Okay things are really getting weird now, there’s other people here too? Sure enough, as he narrows and focuses his eyes, he can see two figures walking in their direction.  He pushes Kagome slightly behind him and places his other hand on the hilt of Tessaiga, readying it for a moment’s notice.

As the two people get closer, Inuyasha sees a male and female.  The female points and utters something excitedly to her companion.  He can’t make out what she said, or the male’s response, but based on the guys body language as well, they both seem excited.

Using his nose, Natsu had smelled someone else there, and while it was really odd that they’d found more people in this abnormal vacuum, at the same time they were a bit relieved not to be alone.  He could tell there was another human, but the other scent baffled him.  Canine?  Was there a dog here too?  When they got closer, and Natsu saw the male’s ears, he put two and two together that maybe he was like Toby from Lamia Scale.  

They stop a few feet in front of the other couple.  

“Wow, it’s really awesome to run into someone else!”  Natsu blurts out.

But Inuyasha narrows his eyes at the strangers, “who are you people?  I smell demon but you look human.”

Natsu blinks, “me,” he points at himself, “I am part demon, if that’s what you’re asking.  I could ask the same about you too with those ears.”

Kagome speaks up now, “so, if you’re part demon, you’re like Inuyasha here.  He’s half demon too.”

“Oh neat!” Natsu takes a step forward to proffer a hand to shake, but Inuyasha responds by pulling out his sword and stepping completely in front of Kagome.

“Back off,” he growls with his ears flattening against his head, “we don’t know if we can trust you.”

Natsu’s expression changes from happy and excited to annoyed or angry that this guy is threatening them. He steps slightly in front of Lucy and lights a hand on fire.  “I suggest you don’t do anything stupid.”

Both Kagome and Lucy roll their eyes.  It was obvious to them that there wasn’t any real threat except the one that the two men were now creating.

Lucy steps back out and next to Natsu, forcing him to drop his hand and douse his flame. “Ugh, you two guys are both idiots.”  

Kagome is also doing the same, moving out from behind Inuyasha, “I couldn’t agree more.”

“I’m Lucy,” the blonde smiles and waves, “and this is Natsu.”

“I’m Kagome,” the brunette returns the gesture, “and this is Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha tries to maneuver her back, “Kagome, we shouldn’t…”

“Don’t make me sit you,” she grits her teeth.  “Put away Tessaiga and be nice.”

“So, do you know what this place is,” Lucy asks Kagome.

Kagome shakes her head, “we’re just as perplexed as you seem to be.”

But Inuyasha continues to glare at the other couple.  He wasn’t exactly known for being trusting, especially when it was another demon he was dealing with.  And this one could generate fire from his hands!  He had every right to be cautious!  Inuyasha tries again to pull Kagome away.  

She yanks her arm away. “Sit!”

That took the other couple by complete surprise to see Inuyasha suddenly go flat to the ground as if some unseen force had stomped him.  

“I-Is he okay?” Lucy asks.

“He’ll be fine,” Kagome just waves her hand, “I warned him to be nice.”

Right at that moment strange lights appear behind both couples.  When Kagome turns to look, she sees what appears to be the modern side of the well. “Inuyasha we can get out of here!”  She turns back to the other couple and realizes a third person was now walking through the light up to them.

“Lucy, I’m sorry I don’t know what happened, but the portal closed behind me!”  

“It’s okay Loke, at least we can get out of here now.”

“Who are these people?” the lion spirits queries about the other couple.

“Oh, um,” Lucy looks at the other couple as Inuyasha is getting back up and hustling Kagome away. “Guess they were stuck here too.”

“Bye Lucy and Natsu!” Kagome waves as she steps out through their opening.

“Bye Kagome and Inuyasha!” Lucy returns the gesture.

“This was so weird,” Natsu mutters, “let’s get the hell outta here before we stay stuck again.”

“Agreed!”

Edward Elric pops up in his bed, shaking it as he shivers.  “That was creepy!”      

“What?” Winry rolls over still groggy from being woken up.  She sees her husband all excited.  “What’s going on?”

“Win, I just had the craziest dream!  It’s was about these two couples that got stuck in some parallel dimension or I don’t fucking know.  Eww,” he shivers again, “just felt like being stuck in that damn room with that God guy all over again and I wasn’t even there.”

“That is weird…”

“Yeah!  And one guy he was like maybe part human part dog, cause he had those pointy dog like ears and long ass finger nails, and a big ass sword! The other guy could light his hand on fire!”

“Ed…” Winry rolls over, “it was just a dream, you’ve probably been listening to too much science fiction stories again so, go back to sleep.”

He drops back onto his pillow with his arms above and under his head.  

‘Yeah that was a crazy ass dream alright…’

[oh-its-souichi]

Demolition Lovers

Part 2 

Dabi X Reader 

Yo! 

Another repost from my main

Warning; Fluff, a--n--g--s--t, shite grammar as usual.

The morning after he sprung back into your life you woke up alone. The place where he slept completely void of presence. “Dabi?” you called out wondering if he had gone into the bathroom but there was no response and when you finally worked up the energy to check the bathroom, the only “room” in your studio apartment, there was no one there. You huffed blowing back a few strands of hair that fell annoyingly into your face. ‘I wonder where he went off to’ you mused shrugging your shoulders. It’s not like you actually expected him to stick around anyhow.

A lugubrious feeling came over you as you stood in the bathroom door but you quickly pushed it aside letting a bright smile come to your face. “At least you got to see him again” you said out-loud trying to freshen your mood. It worked, for a few minutes at least.

You walked fully into the bathroom, stripping off your clothes and beginning your morning routine. First you would start off with a nice hot shower which you didn’t do anything but stare at the wall in front of you for the first 20 minutes until you realized you had to be down at the bar in 5 minutes. “Shit!” you would screech quickly dumping a GENEROUS amount of  your strawberry shampoo and conditioner into your hand lathering it sloppily into your long locks, rinsing it off almost as soon as you put it in your hair.

After all the soap was gone from your hair you would tumble out of the shower coating the room with water while one hand blindly reached for the pink towel that hung sorrowful, it’s spirits grown weary with your constant tardiness and carelessness. Hastily you would dry your body off with the towel then brush your teeth. By the end of the ordeal you would be dressed DECENTLY, your hair wild looking and your feet behind the bar a minute before you were due to clock in.

That was most mornings anyhow, this particular morning you found yourself getting ready a few minutes early, still rushed as usual but, by the end you had brushed your hair and applied a bit of make-up, showing up to work two minutes early.

You walked into the acidic smelling bar your hair trailing behind you. Immediately your co-worker perked up eyeing you suspiciously. You straightened your back  trying to avoid her gaze but it was no use. She KNEW. “Hey L/N?” she called out amusement playing on her lips. “Yes Saito?” you said innocently joining her behind the bar. You grabbed your apron from underneath the counter trying to act nonchalantly but the blush on your cheeks betrayed you. Saito had this power, not quirk (she can carbonate water with her pointer finger), just god given talent to predict when someone has been with a boy. She never failed always embarrassing friends and those around her with her damning prediction. It both amazed you and terrified you because one day it would be your turn. “You sure look nice this morning. Your hair doesn’t look like it’s fighting to get off of your head for once. Why is that?” You shrugged tying your apron around your waist.

She sauntered closer to you, malice and humiliation in the air.  “Have you been with a boy?” She said coyly standing above you, her presence demanding. You blushed harder rocketing to your feet, beginning to run away from her. “No! Shut up!” You yelled as you ran into the back room. Saito knocked her knuckles a few times off of the shiny marble counter top, clicking her tongue. “It never fails” she chuckled resuming with her task of cleaning glasses.

You stood silently in the backroom biting your lip, knuckles white and cheeks blushing furiously. Every part of you was completely tense, your muscles buttoned tightly. A exasperated laugh left your lips and you relaxed after having analyzed your reaction. ‘That didn’t make you look guilty at all’ you thought releasing the tension in your body. ‘You are ridiculous’ you thought before grabbing a bucket from the shelf and filling it with water readying yourself to clean the tables.

Once you walked out of the back room you felt Saito’s eyes fall on you again only this time you didn’t not waver. Instead you walked fiercely, your gaze burning into the table in front of you. “Yes I was. Tell anyone and your dead” Sloppily you sloshed the water chemical mixture onto the table scrubbing it harshly. Saito laughed “So the truth comes out” she said setting the glass she had in her hand down on the counter. A involuntary smirk formed on your face choosing to ignore her response.

The rest of the day dragged on. Working day shift at a bar was… slow. Not many people came in. Around shift change a few salary men would wander in having just gotten off of work but that occurred around 5;00 pm. As you did your various tasks Dabi popped up in your head, intruding in on your thoughts with his face. It was good to see him again, if only it could have been for a bit longer.

After work you took off your apron waving good bye at those you passed while running for the door. “Don’t have to much fun your your boyfriend L/n!” Saito yelled happily. Your boss who was knelt down beside her popped up. You didn’t turn around continuing on with your sprint. “Boy??” you heard his confused voice say. ‘Great. I’ll never live that down now.’ you thought flipping around the building and practically leaping up the sketchy metal ladder that led to your apartment.Once up the stairs you unlocked the door and flopped down onto the ground, your arms sore from cleaning. Lazily you shut the door with your foot remaining on the floor.

 You enjoyed the way the cool wood floor felt against your face, breathing in deeper the smell of the floral candles your burned.  A shiver rippled through your body at the sensation. You were home. A safe place. Growing up you had never felt safe going home so to have s place to call your own where you could shut in and drown out the world was very important to you. It supplied you with something you never had growing up. Security.

Lost in your thoughts your ears didn’t pick up on the door cracking open followed by the sound of soft footsteps. The door gentle nudged the pads of your foot but the sensation didn’t register with you. Call it exhaustion. It was his voice the grabbed you down from your place in the clouds. “What are you doing?” Dabi’s deep voice said from behind you. Your body jolted against the floor in shock, your eyes widening. “Umm”  you smiled sheepishly feeling the same blush from before return to your face. It is published in many scientific articles and books that the brain is the powerhouse of the body, the king of the kingdom, the Albert Einstein of the body but despite all of the clout your amazing squishy organ could not think of anything to spare you. Instead your lips fumbled around until you could squeak out an “I-I don’t know?” Classic.

He smirked a small chuckle leaving his lips.”I can see your still a ditz” he said entering your apartment full, shutting the door behind him. You stood brushing off a bit of dust your clothes had collected from the floor. “Did you have to work today?” you asked coyly hoping to figure out why he left with no explanation, not that he wasn’t free to do so. He smirked again flopping down onto your bed. “Yeah somethin’ like that. What about you?”

As he laid on your bed you couldn’t help but notice the way his white t-shirt rode up exposing the V on his hips. It had been ingrained in you since childhood that it is impolite to stare but for some reason despite the warning signals going off in your head to look away, you couldn’t. Involuntarily your eyes stayed glued to the exposed skin, your face becoming redder and redder by the second. “Hey answer my question pervert” he said pulling his shirt down with a shit eating grin. 

Feeling brave you flipped him off, earning a fake scoff, and sat next to his body on the bed. “Yeah i just got off a few minutes ago.” He hummed in response his voice trailing off. A comfortable silence fell on the both of you. Your could hear some traffic passing by along side the sound of a group of girls giggling loudly to themselves. Beside you- you felt Dabi shift sitting up next to you. “Look I really want to talk to you about something. Its pissing me off- just hear me out alright?”

You nodded having a vague idea about what he was going to say. “i said some shitty things to you- maybe you don’t remember- and yeah- I’m” he trailed out groaning in frustration. “I’m Sorry”

The words he spoke to you all those years ago echoed through your head. You remember them hurting at the time but for some reason you understood why he said them. He was right after all. Your quirk did more harm then good often rendering it useless. You got over it quickly. That was one of the less painful things happening to you at the time.

A gentle smile came onto your face “It’s okay” you said wrapping your arms around him in a caring hug. He blinked shocked at your action but very quickly got used to the way your body felt perfect against his. “You’ve always been a shit head I didn’t expect anything different from you then and I don’t know.” His brilliant blue eyes connected to the white wall in front of him, a small chuckle leaving his lips.

The two of you remained in the hug for a unnecessarily long amount of time to lost in the feeling of the other persons embrace. Dabi dropped his head down on our shoulder leaning his head against yours. The smell of your hair filled his nostrils causing goosebumps to form on his arms.

You nuzzled your face into Dabi’s neck becoming distracted and wrapped up in bliss when he began to trail his fingers up and down your arms softly. To the sensation you closed your eyes letting the shivers pick you up and carry you away.

“Who are these from?” He asked suddenly ripping you out of your euphoric state. Immediately you felt self conscious and found yourself pulling away from him and pulling a blanket over your body. He stared at you softly reading into your reaction. “What are what from?” you said innocently attempting to play dumb. It didn’t work.

Dramatically he rolled his eyes “Right” and pulled the soft blanket halfway down your arm lightly touching the scars that lined your whole body, the scars you absolutely loathed. “These.” he stated “Who are they from?”

You shook your head casting your eyes out the window, mapping the splash of orange and pink that had stained the normally blue sky. “It’s from my quirk” you said pulling the blanket back over your shoulder. “huh. It never got better?”

Pain painted your E/C as they looked away from their spot at the window and down to your scarred arms. Your quirk allowed you to turn your body into glass, when your first developed it you were able to use it freely, the doctor informing you that the glass you were able to turn your body into was extremely tough. They had never seen anything like it.

That was until one day you were playing outside with Dabi and you fell off a tree. Out of sheer instinct you turned your body into glass before you hit the ground hoping to break the fall and avoid having to explain to your father that you had gotten hurt while you were outside playing with a boy. That wouldn’t have pleased him at all. Everything was fine until you hit the ground. Upon impact your body was engulfed with a searing pain that cracked across your body. You let out a small yelp, looking down. To your shock across your arms were deep cracks. “Dabi!” you yelled

The doctors had never seen anything like that either. You were taken to the doctor by your very angry father only to learn that your quirk was breaking down, the modules that enabled you to turn to glass were becoming weak. From that point on whenever you used your quirk you found yourself engulfed by the same pain followed by the tell tale cracks across whatever part of your body was afflicted.

“No” you said softly looking up at him. “What about you? These are new?” you said hoping to get the attention off of you. There were a few scars that tattooed your body that weren’t from your quirk but you didn’t care to explain that. He sighed holding up his arms. “Oh you noticed” he teased a barely detectable bit of sadness lurking in his sarcasm. “It’s my quirk as well.”

You clicked your tongue feeling sad he was having to endure that much pain. “Looks like we both got screwed” You laughed leaning your head against he shoulder. He hummed pleased by your touch, slowly bringing his hand off of his lap and onto your arm nearest to him. “Guess so” he stated plainly. More silence ensued until Dabi cleared his throat. “They are kind of bad ass though”

You twisted your face in confusion removing yourself from his shoulder. “What is?” you said watching him trace his thumb on a particularly long scar on your arm. “These are. It looks like lightening or some shit. you shouldn’t be so self conscience.” You mouth fell open in amazement at his words. ‘Is he complimenting me?’ you thought immediately wanting to dismiss the possibility. A nervous laugh came out of your mouth being. “yeah okay” you smiled standing up. You began to walk in the direction of the shower suddenly becoming aware of the fact that you still smelled like a bar.

Before you could get to far he grabbed onto your wrist an earnest look on his face. “Hey I’m serious brat” You froze unsure what to do. Compliments were something that were very foreign to you. “Oh thank you” you squeaked pink blush forming on your cheeks. Dabi smiled lazily pleased with your reaction, you were so cute. “Don’t get flustered now Y/N I know I’m good looking but have a little-”

You ripped your hand out of his grasp before he could finish gloating. “I’m not flustered!” you said storming into the bathroom. After a few stomps he hear the door of the bathroom slam loudly. A adoring chuckle left his lips as he pictured the scars in his mind. It’s was pretty evident that a few of the scar were not from your quirk. Those few looking more thicker and not as jagged. He planned on asking you about it someday but he wouldn’t push he had a few secrets of his own he was wanting to keep.

[omgrachwrites]

Heartbreak and Hormones (Sequel to Playing the Player)

Pairing(s): Noah Barnes x OC

Bucky Barnes x Isabelle Barnes (OC)

Peggy Carter x Steve Rogers

Summary: Noah Barnes had a pretty perfect life, he was the star of the football team and his parents were still in - sickening - love. The perfect life that he had grown accustomed to slowly starts crashing down when he starts to develop feelings for a girl. The only problem? She’s his best friend’s twin sister who is very much off limits.

Warnings: fluff, fluff and more fluff!

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this first part! It’s the first thing I’ve had the motivation to write in months so please tell me what you think! I love you all very much! xxx

Part One

Friday, 1st September, 2006, New York City

Belle glanced over at her boyfriend who was making himself busy with watching the TV, though Belle could tell that Bucky was just as nervous as she was. She could tell by the way that his jaw was clenched, causing a muscle to flutter in his cheek, his blue eyes were almost too focused on the TV and his grip was a little too tight on the black leather of the couch. Belle took his hand in hers, turning it palm side down so she could scatter tiny kisses along his knuckles. Bucky finally tore his gaze from the screen to smile at Belle and he pressed a lingering kiss to her warm cheek.

“You doing okay baby?” she asked softly and he nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, running his hand over the soft material of her pine green sweater.

“I’m fine sweetheart just nervous is all,” was his soft reply and Belle nodded understandingly.

“Me too but we’ll get through it together,” she smiled, resting a hand on his knee, tracing soothing circles into it.

“I can’t believe that I almost missed this,” he muttered so quietly that Belle wasn’t entirely sure that she was supposed to have heard him.

The sad remorseful look on his beautiful face caused a painful pang in Belle’s chest as she pushed the very painful memory to the back of her mind. It wouldn’t do well for either of them to dwell on the past, they had a future to look forward to.

“That wasn’t your fault Buck.”

Bucky was saved from answering when the door to their little boy’s bedroom opened with a soft creak, tearing Bucky and Belle’s attention away from one another, not before they shared a soft smile and they glanced at Noah. He had Bucky’s eyes – those beautiful blue eyes that Belle had fallen so deeply in love with – and he had Bucky’s complexion. However, as he was getting older he was starting to look more like Belle, his thick dark hair was naturally wavy like hers.

It was his first day of elementary school and Belle had to fight back tears, swallowing down the lump in her throat, her baby boy was growing up much too quickly for her liking. Noah looked nervously between his mom and dad as he shrugged his backpack on, reaching down to pet their dog Pip who was running around in circles.

It was Bucky who found his voice first, he had managed to get the morning off of work to see his son off to school, “you look great buddy, so grown up,” his voice sounded strong but when Belle glanced at Bucky she noticed that his bottom lip was quivering, a sure tell for when he was about to cry.

“Thanks dad.”

Noah gave Belle his boyish dimpled grin – that was sure to break tons of hearts in the future – when she kissed his curls, “you look so handsome baby, just like your dad,” Belle grinned and looked over at Bucky who had a slight flush on his cheeks at the compliment.

The three of them left for the elementary school not long after and it was hard to say goodbye to Noah. There were some tears from Belle as she hugged and kissed Noah goodbye, she really did try to hold back her tears. When Noah disappeared into the school Bucky and Belle had a little cry in the car, they were worried that he wouldn’t like it or he’d get bullied and wouldn’t make any friends.

Meanwhile, Noah walked into the brightly coloured room to see tables of four scattered throughout the room. He nervously approached and sat down at a table where a boy and a girl with dark brown hair were already sitting. They both gave Noah a friendly smile which put Noah at ease in an instant.

“Hi, I’m Noah Barnes,” he introduced himself, putting his hand out just like his dad had taught him to do when meeting new people.

The boy smiled before taking Noah’s hand, “I’m Matt Odinson and this is my sister Evie.”

Belle and Bucky really shouldn’t have worried about Noah because when they went to pick Noah up he had a massive grin on his face. On the drive home he gushed to his mom and dad about what a great day that he’d had.

“I met Matt and Evie,” he beamed, “they’re twins and I think they’re gonna be my best friends forever,” he giggled, looking extremely pleased with himself. Bucky and Belle grinned at each other, glad that it all had turned out to be okay.

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As the years passed it turned out that Noah had only been half right about being best friends with Matt and Evie forever. He had stayed best friends with Matt but as Noah reached middle school Evie had found her own friends and Noah eventually stopped talking about her. In fact, Noah had hardly seen Evie outside of school until he went to a mutual friend’s birthday party.

Belle had gone to pick him up and she almost laughed to herself when – out of the car window- she noticed Evie giving Noah a tight, long hug. When they pulled away from each other – Evie rather reluctantly – Noah said something to her that made her giggle and toss her hair. Belle could practically see Evie’s blush from where she was sitting, she thought that it was pretty adorable. Noah climbed into the car before Belle could wipe the smirk from her face and unfortunately Noah noticed and he eyed her suspiciously.

“What’s going on mom?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at her and Belle had to work hard to conceal a laugh.

“I think that Evie has a crush on you,” Belle smiled at her thirteen year old as he gave her a disbelieving look, “why don’t you ask her to the dance?”

Noah huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair, “because mom,” he started, “the dance is lame and I don’t like Evie like that anyway,” he shook his head and opted on looking out of the window, refusing to look at Belle.

A couple more years passed by and Noah only grew more good looking and popular, he’d cut his hair so it wouldn’t naturally turn to waves and his eyes were almost too blue. He was of course still best friends with Matt who was like a brother to him.

“Uh sis, where are you going looking like that?” Matt demanded, halting their game of soccer.

It was actually a nice day so they were making the most of it. Noah glanced at where Matt was glaring and he saw Evie in a royal blue tea dress, that showed off her legs, her recently dyed golden blonde hair fell past her shoulders in loose curls. She sighed, flicking her hair out of her eyes, glaring at her brother.

“I’m going on a date, not that its any of your business.”

Noah bit his lip, trying not to laugh at the identical scowls on the twins’ faces, instead he busied himself with tying the laces on his sneakers, trying to stay out of the conversation as much as possible.

“You are not going out dressed like that!”

Evie let out a shrill laugh before pausing momentarily, “oh god, you’re not joking. Right,” she sounded pissed off now and Noah just knew that she was tossing her hair and fixing her brother with a death glare, “stop trying to be like dad okay? You’re not dad! I’m going out like this whether you like it or not! Keep quiet about what I’m wearing or I’ll tell mom and dad about your little secret,” that shut Matt up straight away and Noah concealed his smirk, he knew what Evie was referring to.

“Alright then, see you later bro. Bye Noah,” at the mention of his name Noah looked up, his eyes started at her sparkly black heels and he glanced up to her face. His blue gaze lingered on her for too long, her smile was bright and her hair sparkled in the late afternoon sunlight.

“See you, have a great time,” Noah smiled, Evie beamed at him before she walked to her car.

“Hey man,” Matt’s voice was in Noah’s ear and an arm was slung around his shoulders, “if you even think about touching my sister, this friendship is over. For good.”

Noah’s eyes almost popped out of his head at Matt’s words, his eyes were so wide that it was comical, “are you kidding me? I respect your friendship too much, you’re my best friend.”

That was the honest truth, Noah thought that Evie was an attractive girl but there was no way in hell that they would ever be together. It wasn’t worth losing Matt.

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