#okay so she’s more feminine so she’s keeping her hair long and dying it pink

[sodacowboy]

I love reimagining characters and taking the ones without much personality or development and making them my own

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Guardian Angel ~ Lucifer x Reader

"I told you to close your eyes." 

The phrase that haunted Lucifer’s every day, every night and every dream since back then, during the Celestial War.

He can remember everything vividly, as if it happened just yesterday - The nightmare that happened to him, the one that he relives every time his mind isn’t focused on work, those bloody flashes before his very eyes.

He closed his eyes ready to die ... He knew he screwed up when he declared a rebellion and his siblings and beloved followed him, fighting to escape the Godly shackles that bound them together, depriving them of free thought, free will, free movement.

It had to be done - After all, who knows what He would have done to poor, little Lilith...Maybe, if it wasn’t for that, they could have stalled the riot, prepared better, gotten stronger, strategised finer...

Were the consequences worth it? 

He’d ask himself that every day he had to see Diavolo’s feign innocence and smug face.

His brothers were around him, around and well. Lilith was turned into a human and lived a happy life with the human she loved...

But his beloved S/O was killed in The Falling, and he had a fight with Belphegor recently just bad enough to have to confine him in the attic, afraid of Diavolo’s punishment.

“Lucifer, close your eyes.” he heard a gorgeous, feminine voice that always managed to sooth all his worries and fears.

He didn't feel any pain...He wandered what went wrong, how come he's alive even though he’s the mastermind behind the rebellion, and his eyes saw the Seraphim Arrows being shot his way...But when he opened his eyes, he was struck with a worse kind pain. 

It was unimaginable. 

It was heartbreaking. 

It was devastating.

Lucifer gasped for air while the tears forcing their way, he saw the love of his eyes in front of him, smiling while shielding him from the enemy with three arrows impaling her torso, barely able to keep herself afloat.

Somehow, however, she managed to look him in the eyes...With that gentle smile of hers...That only made it much worse.

“Keep on living, Lucifer. For me, for Lilith, and for your brothers. Promise me you won't shed any tears for me, my love, and instead, live a happy life, together, and remember me. Keep on smiling, for your smile had saved me a thousand times before...And should you do so, I promise you, with every smile on your face, I will smile as well.” she confessed, prompting her hands on his shoulders, trying to keep herself conscious to have her last goodbye.

Lucifer could feel her blood splattered on him, but seeing her immaculate white dress, now resembling a bed of red azaleas, he was sure the world was going to end. His face was wet from weeping, shock having taken over his senses completely, and for those few moments left together, that were so fast, yet felt like an eternity stopped, he saw S/O’s tears slowly falling down, resembling delicate zircons in the blinding light of the Sun.

“Why....?!” was the only thing the raven haired Seraph could utter, not able to grasp reality from the scene playing in front of him, still praying hard that it was nothing more than a night terror.

“Because, my darling...Dying is better than seeing you dying. They need you, honey. You are their leader, so lead them towards a better life. You deserve it. I promise you, you are my life after death. Now, Lucifer, promise me this...Close your eyes, and remember all those beautiful moments we spent together. I will be there for you, in the next time...I will be missing you so much, my dear...So please, don’t forget me. I will be with you in your heart, protecting you.” her words were soft, painful, and it was clear she was barely able to hang on to her last drops of life.

But the last spark of life was abolished from her eyes as soon as more Arrows were cruelly shot through her, some ripping her majestic Serpah wings, much more beautiful than his, he always believed.

“I love you.” was the last words Lucifer heard as all the remaining strength left her body and she free-fell from graces like a ragged doll tossed away by a spoiled child.

When he finally snapped to his senses, he realised that the rebellion wasn’t going too well, as his orange-haired younger brother went to save his twin, and Lilith fell victim to the Angels’ arrows, falling as well...

This is not what he wanted.

He wanted everyone to live, to be safe and smile again, without having to endure HIS arrogance and power hunger any longer.

He wanted to be able to hold S/O in his arms tightly every night and kiss her, to show her how much he lover her. He wanted to be allowed to feel her, to tell her everything his heart felt, what his mind was forcing him not to disclose, despite being so desperate to...

And yet, in the end, here they were...

Fallens, in Devildom, on the horribly dry and disgusting soil, the broken form of the love of his life in his arms, laying there lifeless, while his sister, barely alive, was hanging to any second of her burning life spawn.

And that’s how he wakes up every time, whenever he has the misfortune to have restless sleeps, which unfortunately for him happens more often than not.

The same voice, the same lines, the same images flashing through his mind for the whole day, without pause.

He was the only one who truly knew what happened to Lilith, and he was the only one whose heart broke, without any chance of healing, as his lover died in his arms, because she was reckless enough to save him.

Why did she have to be so egoistic?

Dying is better than you dying, she said...But what about him?! What about his feelings?! Did she think it wasn’t the same for him, as well? That he’d rather die than have her perish, with such agony...

But what did she care...

She saw herself a martyr, doing reckless things without thinking...

She has always been an idiot.

Lucifer wanted, with all his heart, to hate S/O for leaving him alone for so many millennia, stealing away his heart with her, never to be returned...How thoughtless of her!

...But no matter how much the Fallen wanted to blame her, to hate her, to strangle her for the torture she so selfishly brought upon him...

He couldn’t.

She will forever be the only one he will ever love, until the day the world collapses, the armageddon befalls, the skies crumble and Hell freezes over and the Earth explodes.

His unusual demeanour was easily noticed by everyone around him, as he was more silent than usual, almost as if he was mourning, brooding, and much more focused on his work, not wanting to interact with anyone. Whenever he was like that, he would barely eat, sleep or take care of his health - Not that demons need too much pampering - But regardless, he never talked to anyone about the reason before this behaviour of his.

Diavolo was the only one who knew, since he was there when it happened, and Mammon, as he was told a few cryptic words.  Of course, the rest of his brothers knew the reason, but could never hope to get even close to understanding what was going on through Lucifer’s frozen heart.

That is...Until one day, when he was desperately trying to settle for the second human exchange student for Diavolo’s program, and through the files, there was this girl...

This girl that made him freeze.

Same hair colour and hair style, same eye colour with the same gentle glint, same soft smile of her pink, plump lips, same skin shade...And her picture made it look as if she held some kind of divine aura behind her...Or maybe he was imagining it? Was he so exhausted that he was starting to imagine things? Was he thinking too much of her recently?

He had no idea for how long he stared at the piece of paper before his very eyes until Diavolo got in his study, picked the paper from his hands, and with a low chuckle, told him to pick her for the exchange program...Which seemed to piss him off, but nonetheless, he couldn’t go against the word of the one he pledged his loyalty to, so he merely nodded.

...And it got worse, when she was brought forth in Devildom, and she looked just like her...Almost as if she was a copy. Lucifer couldn’t help himself, he could only stare at her from afar, not believing his eyes.

What was worse, however, was that as soon as he began his speech to her, she stepped right in front of him, looking up, right into his eyes, and with a confused, yet soft look, she said “Have we met before?”

Those words...Those very words made him feel his breath hitch in his throat, and his brothers knew very well was was going on, so for the first time in centuries, they tried to save him from this stiff situation...Only for her to ask them, sans Satan, the same question.

“Have we met before? Some of you seem so familiar to me, but I can’t tell why.” she said, only for the brothers to freeze just as bad as the elder brother.

Something was definitely off, but nobody knew how to solve this issue, so it was up to Diavolo to wake everyone from their trance and tell S/O about the reason for being so mysteriously brought here...Also, assigning Lucifer as her guardian...Which almost made him unleash and strangle him. He could already imagine himself ripping the Demon Prince limb from limb, putting him on fire, throwing him in acid, and other inventive torture methods that quickly came into his mind.

She was so sweet, so nice, so mindful, so respectful, so attentive with him...How can a mere lamb behave with such kindness towards the ferocious, starving wolf?

He was going insane.

For the duration of the year he had to look out for her, to make sure she was okay, that his brothers were behaving okay with her, and that she won’t be a target for the lesser demons.

But it was torture for him now, having to constantly stare upon a person who resembled his long dead lover, having to be constantly reminded of his failure to take care of herself, having to see her pained smile addressed to him, her broken form, her ravished wings, her dull eyes, her dissolved light...

Diavolo was truly a demon.

And she was too much for him.

Every move she made, it was with an unbelievable grace, as if she was a princess, and wherever she stepped, flowers would grow. Her smile was dazzling, almost blinding. Her kindness was so warm, so powerful, creeping into the cracks of his frozen heart. Her hair was so smooth, as if it was some higher cloud from the Celestial Realm...And her voice...Her singing...Angelic...Just like hers...Like the Seraphim started singing their hymns and playing the harp.

Whenever she’d sing, he’d leave the room. Whenever she’d laugh, he’d leave the room. Whenever she’d dance, he’d leave the room. Whenever she’d play with one of his brothers, he’d leave the room.

No matter what she did, he would disappear like the mist, which made the poor girl so upset, thinking she did something to make him hate her.

But the worst came once again during the TSL quiz when Levi went to attack her from him blind rage, and without realising, she created a shield of light around her, which made everyone speechless...As she resembled an angel...THAT angel...

And poor Lucifer could only stare at her, with his heart scrunched up and stomped on, and he left the room faster then anyone could realise, and Mammon on his trail, wanting to help his dear older brother, knowing very well how he was struggling to keep himself composed and whole.

“Lucifer, talk to me. Y’know you can. I know why you’re behaving like this...She ain’t her, man. Even though she looks just like her...She ain’t her. She can’t be her. She died long ago, just like Lilith...They’re gone, no matter how much we want them back.” Mammon’s voice was long and soft, squeezing his brother’s shoulder to calm him down. “Did you see that magic of hers? That is angel magic, without a doubt...But she isn’t one...And do you remember what was the first thing she said when she saw us? Have we met before? This cannot be a coincidence...It just can’t be...” Lucifer muttered, holding his head in his hands, almost tugging at his hair from desperation. “Uhm...I don’t really know how to help ya, but...Maybe if ya ask Simeon to talk to Michael or somethin’...Maybe he knows somethin’? Maybe she reincarnated or somethin’? Ya never know with these things, right?” the silver haired man spoke, making Lucifer sneer for a split second, thinking about cooperating with the very beings who killed S/O...And yet...His words held truth. “...Thanks, Mammon. I will see what he says.” Lucifer nodded, already taking out his phone and texting Simeon about this problem.

But things weren’t so easily solved in the Devildom, as Lucifer’s brother were always up for mischief, and now, they, for some unknown reason, decided to play Hide and Seek in the House of Lamentation, and the eldest was the seeker...

Until, at the very beginning, wanted to cheat while counting, he turned around, only to see the girl casually sitting on the couch, eyeing him with a giggle.

“Lucifer, what are you doing~? I told you to close your eyes!” she teased him, only for him to grit his teeth, punching the wall in front of him, before leaving to his room. “I’m not bothering with childish games of yours.” he scoffed, shooting her a look of disgust, not having the heart to look at her crestfallen expression.

Weeks continued to flow one by one at a rapid pace and Lucifer’s worries grew even more when he realised that, once she willingly stepped inside his room, he could barely control his urges.

“Lucifer...Do you hate me? I don’t know what I’ve done to make you upset at me...But I’m really sorry. I don’t want you to hate me, so please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.” she spoke in such an innocent and genuinely concerned voice, that it made Lucifer kabedon her, her back glued to his door. “It’s nothing personal, but if you’re so curious to know, you are an exact copy of my dead lover from the Celestial Realm. Everything you do, is just like her. You look exactly like her. I don’t hate you, quite the contrary. If I could, I would smother you with affection, I would suffocate you with kisses, I would break every bone in your body with embraces, I would ravish every inch of your body with touches, and many more, that only a demon would know. So, for your own good, little lamb...Stay as far away as possible from me. Your year here is almost done...Don’t try to get yourself killed freely.” his voice was low, almost sounding like a growling threat, but instead, she cupped his face, shocking him. “I don’t understand what is going on...But since I was little, I kept getting weird dreams. Everything is fragmented, nothing is really coherent...But I can see a man with dark hair and dark eyes...And his voice is like velvet. I can see myself holding his head in my lap in a beautiful glade, under a Wisteria tree, and I can see myself dying to save him. That’s why...I was confused when I first saw you...You look just like the man from my dreams...Lucifer...? Are you...Crying...?” her eyes widened, her bottom lip quivered, seeing a single, shiny tear escape his ruby like eyes. “Get out. Now.” he pushed himself on the door, turning his back to her, waiting to hear her leave so he could unleash his pent up emotions that he has been hiding for so long.

This can’t be happening...How is that possible? How can she be having the same dreams as him? It’s not...It can’t...It just can’t be...

Why, S/O, why would you send to him someone who is your exact copy?

Is it to spite him? To anger him? To mess up with him? To taunt him? To mock him? To tease him? To torture him? To kill him with such agony, to mimic the way she died? 

Doesn’t she already know his heart will only ever belong to her, and her alone?

No cheap imitation will ever be able to take her place.

From then on, no matter how much she tried to talk to him, he’d go out of his way to avoid her, knowing very well that any glance her way would only send more painful shocks to his heart, and he’s definitely not a masochist.

He’s suffered enough as it is.

So stop it.

Please, stop it.

Just get the hell out of here already and let him be a grumpy demon in peace.

You’ve done enough.

...

A weird occurrence happened, and a beam of light came from the halls, followed by a pitched, almost banshee-like screech, and as he rushed to check it out, he saw S/O’s limp form in Archangel Michael’s arms. In a burst of rage, Lucifer transformed into his demon form, blasting the angel away and cradling the human’s small form into his arms, his wings wrapping protectively over her.

“What the hell did you do to her? Do you think you’re entitled to kill all the people I care about?!” Lucifer’s dark, booming voice echoed throughout the House of Lamentation, that was met with a mere chuckle. “Luci, my dear old friend, you should know that I wish you no ill-will, despite all the hate that you have for us. You called to ask me about her, and I got intrigued, so with your Prince’s approval, I came over to see what was the deal with this little lamb here.” Michael spoke calmly, making his old friend lay down his guard. “And what did you find out and why did she scream like that?” he mumbled, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “I gave her back all the memories she had jumbled and lost. She is the S/O you used to know, without a doubt.” the Archangel spoke in a gentle voice, realising that the demon was close to exploding. “Don’t make fun of me, Michael, or I will rip you apart limb from limb. S/O died in my arms. You, filthy angels, did it. So stop lying to me, it’s a sin.” he sneered at him, only to receive a smile. “She didn’t die. From her memories, I saw that she was impaled by the arrows before she fell from graces. Her heart was pure and just...And, although this would be impossible by our rules, S/O became your Guardian Angel. You know very well that as long as a subject is alive, a Guardian Angel cannot be killed...And they certainly cannot be killed by items in the Celestial Realm. This is your S/O, I guarantee it. Look at her...She’s starting to glow again. Take care of her, Lucifer.” he got up, ready to leave, only to be stopped by the demon with one last question. “Where was she all this time...?” he asked, his voice now much softer and emotional. “At first, she was laid in a bed of flowers...But then, she was found by humans and put in a ward, waiting for her to wake up. When she did, she got rehabilitated, taught and integrated into the human world...And from there, you already know.” the answer was shocking...Guardian Angel...Laid on a bed of flowers...How fitting for a Seraph. “...Thank you, Michael.” stomping on his vanity, the Avatar of Pride uttered those words to the Archangel, before taking the girl in his arms and bringing her to his room, placing her on the comfy bed, holding her hand and waiting for her to wake up.

Seconds were passing like centuries, and Lucifer’s heart kept beating fast for the first time since the War, expecting her to open her gorgeous eyes, to hear her angelic voice, to feel her gentle touch...

He needed her so badly, he could almost feel his sanity slipping away rapidly, thinking that maybe she won’t wake up, for whatever reason.

He was desperate, he felt like he was drowning, that he was suffocating, that he was getting strangled by an invisible form, and for the second time in his life, he felt absolutely powerless in front of the hated fate.

“I told you to close your eyes...” a weak voice was heard, making the raven haired man feel a lightning going through his veins. “Never say those words to me again, S/O. I don’t know what I would do.” he said, yet the ghost of a smile appeared on his face. “I’m sorry...I’ve been selfish, haven’t I? You must truly hate me for leaving you alone for so long...Actually, I don’t know how long it’s been...How long has it been?” she asked, holding his hand. “Every second spent without you lasts longer than an eternity. Never leave me again, please.” Lucifer muttered, kissing her hand gingerly. “Aww, Lucifer...You’re as sweet as you’ve always been. You haven’t changed, even though you’re a demon now. You are still as beautiful.” she spoke, getting in a sitting position. “And you will remain an Angel until the day I am no more, my love. To think that you will become my Guardian Angel...Maybe fate wasn’t so cruel with us, for in the end, we are together now, again, as we should have been all this time.” he leaned down, capturing her lips in a soft kiss, barely able to hold himself back, afraid that, maybe, he is still dreaming, and she will vanish from his arms when he next opens his eyes. “Lucifer...I can feel the storm of emotions in your heart. I’m sorry I caused you so much distress...But I am real, my darling. I am alive, and I will be every time you blink. I promise. So don’t hold back. Do what your heart tells you to. Let your feelings flow. It will be okay.” she spoke, kissing him with more and more passion with each kiss, leaving him breathless. “Those are bold words, little angel. Don’t you know that demons cannot hold back when such a delicious temptation crosses their path? We’re not up there anymore...And I have a millennia worth of emotions. Be careful when you say such words, for I will take advantage of them.” Lucifer’s angelic face was tainted with a demonic, smug smirk, which made the girl grin in amusement. “I see, so that’s how things roll down here, hm? Well, great thing that He isn’t staring at us anymore, ready to punish us for any little thing. We can finally be together...Like those human couples...Right?” she asked, gazing down bashfully. “Anything we want to do, we can. There are no rules, nor regulations. This is the Empire of Sin...As Asmodeus would say...Go big or go home. Better to get in Hell for committing all sins, then for just one.”  the demon cupped her face, kissing her, with more fire each time, more love, more passion, more desperation. “We deserve it. After all this time...We truly deserve this.” she answered, feeling herself floating, the physical sensation of pleasure, love and heat foreign to her. “...You better not be closing your eyes, my darling. I want to see your gorgeous eyes, and every reaction you have to offer.”

[nerdypanda3126]

Playing with Fire – Ch. 3

Luka and Marinette decide to be friends, Luka gets some much-needed sleep, and an uninvited guest shows up. 

Read on Ao3 

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Later that evening, she waited for him as she watched the sky streak through with pink and purple from her spot by the window. As if on cue, Luka glided down from the roof and landed in the courtyard again, and her flames flickered to life around her. Of course, he would know the time of day the change hit as well as she did. 

She heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. When he saw her, he stopped, hanging in the doorway as if unsure if he should enter or not. There was a pause between them, as each waited for the other to say something. He tapped his slender fingers against the stone archway rhythmically. Finally, he sighed. 

"Um, earlier… you mentioned supplies," he said softly. "I can get you anything you want. All you have to do is ask." 

Her curiosity got the better of her. "How would you manage that?" 

"There's someone who passes through occasionally. A friend. I can give him a list." He glanced over to the corner and smirked. "I've already got pillows down."

She blushed all over again. He chuckled and came over to sit opposite her, dangling his leg just as she was.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked after a moment, following her line of sight out over the mountains.

He was probably talking about the view, but she was watching the fires flickering to life in the streets of her village down below and in the homes of everyone she knew and loved. Her parents would be sitting down to supper right about now. She wondered if he was right about them. What they would say if they knew of her fate. 

She hummed to avoid answering him. In the corner of her vision, she saw him look over at her, but she almost felt like if she didn't keep her eyes on it, the village would disappear entirely.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

She let out an incredulous scoff, smiling despite the traitorous tear that slipped down her cheek. 

"Whatever for?" 

"For… earlier. For trapping you here. For cursing you. For... everything." 

"You don't need to apologize, Luka." She wiped her cheeks hurriedly and sighed before she tore her eyes away to look at him. "You saved my life. I can't possibly repay you for that." 

She started to reach out to take his hand, but pulled back, remembering the effect she would have on him. Instead she tucked her hair back behind her ear. 

Maybe we can be friends,” she said shyly, “if you want.” 

He didn’t answer right away, and when she glanced up at him he was miles away, his eyes still on the horizon, his profile thrown into sharp relief from the fading light. When he turned to face her, she jumped like she’d been caught at something, and for the first time since she’d met him, his smile reached his eyes. 

“I’d like that.”

For some reason—she didn’t know if it was the low tone of his voice or those intense eyes or the way he sounded like he truly meant it—she blushed all the way to the roots of her hair. 

He released her quickly and leaned back to lay on the stone floor, dangling both his legs off the side and staring at the ceiling instead of at her. Without those eyes on her, her blush cooled and she let out a breath before she scooted back and mirrored his position. 

“Although I’m still half-expecting you to murder me in my sleep,” he muttered before he turned his head to look at her, his sideways grin entirely at odds with his words. 

She shrugged and scooted a bit closer to him so their heads were leaning together, not quite touching. “I’d at least wait until morning. Without pillows, you’re the comfiest thing here.” 

“Good to know. Maybe I’ll strike them from my list then, self-defense and all that.” 

A realization hit her as she stared up at the ceiling with him and she started giggling. “You know something? I didn’t even bring a weapon.” 

He let out a snort of laughter. “Some dragon killer you are.” As her giggles overtook her, he quirked his eyebrows and that teasing grin grew. “What were you gonna do, throw a bucket of water on me and expect me to go out like a candle?” 

She shoved his shoulder, completely beyond speech. At her brief touch, his eyes turned to slits again and he waved his forked tongue at her while he had it. 

“Though that still implies the foresight to bring a bucket of water, which you also neglected,” he continued. 

She waved at him to stop as a stitch started forming in her side, but he pushed on, apparently enjoying making her laugh. “No, no, I know, you thought you’d slay me with your feminine wiles.” He was laughing with her now. As she made to shove his shoulder again, he squirmed away. “You thought I’d fall so madly in love with you I’d die on the spot, that’s it, that’s what happened.”

She rolled over into his side, laughing harder than she ever had before, only partly intending to stop his tirade. His laughter faded into a soft hissing as his scales replaced the broad chest she’d been leaning on.   

Their laughter quieted together and she looked up at him. When he’d changed, he’d laid his head back again and closed his eyes and his bright blue fire was flaring in his throat. She shifted so she was more within his protective coil as his tail came up to curl around her. His wings were splayed out across the floor and she hesitated before she ran her hand over the delicate membrane. 

Something like a hum came out of him, although it was deep and rumbly. A purr? That wasn’t quite it either. She traced the ridges of the bones that stood up and he shivered before he grumbled good-naturedly and pulled them away from her, turning on his side instead with her tucked into the curve of his stomach. 

“What? Are you ticklish or something?” 

He kicked her lightly with his back claw, pretending it was because he was adjusting, but even in dragon form he had a wicked smirk. 

“Fine, keep your secrets. You’ve got like a thousand books on dragons. I’ll figure it out myself.”  

 She woke as the first rays of light streamed into the open window. Carefully, she extricated herself from the hold he had on her and managed to stand away from him before their bond forced them to switch. He didn’t even move, and if it weren’t for his heavy breathing she would’ve really worried about him. 

He made that humming sound again as she settled into place with him, already resigned to using him as a pillow until further notice. But he was comfortable, that hadn’t been a lie. And he was warm. She fell asleep easily, only a minute or two behind him. 

***

True to her word, she started in on her research as she let him sleep. And as it turned out, dragons could be ticklish. Hers definitely was. She tucked that knowledge away for the next time he was teasing her.

Her stomach grumbled about mid-morning, so she went out and gathered what she could within the limits of their tether. Based on his reaction yesterday, she didn’t think he’d be too happy if she woke him by yanking at it again. When she climbed back up, he’d shifted to pull his tail in between his claws,  but other than that, he was still solidly passed out. 

The journal tugged at her curiosity again. Her eyes slid over to him. The little pink forked tips of his tongue were just barely poking out between his lips. Completely out. She couldn’t help but smile. For all that huffing and grumbling he’d done yesterday, he was kind of cute as a dragon. 

Still, she didn’t want to sniff around in anything too personal unless he was willing to let her, so she hid it under a few different books and tried to pretend it wasn’t there. 

When dusk started to steal her light to read by, she snuck out again for food and came back to tuck herself into his coils again. Unconsciously, he tugged her to him and draped his wing over them both, making that humming noise again as his fire flared to life in his chest. 

When she woke up ahead of him again for the second day in a row, she really did worry. Was it normal for a dragon to sleep so long? Was it okay that he was? If not, if he was sick, if something was wrong with him, was there even anything she could do? 

And just like the other night, as soon as she was curled up against him with his heavy, rhythmic breathing under her, she fell straight asleep. 

***

She bent her head back to his books with an entirely different question to answer, keeping an eye on him the entire time, ignoring her grumbling stomach as the sun climbed its way through the sky. 

Finally, when the tower was just starting to cast a shadow on the clearing, he groaned and lifted himself up on his claws. He looked around blearily until he found her, then loped over to rest his chin on her shoulder. She pushed back from the table, eyeing the stacks of very flammable paper she’d been leafing through. 

“How long was I out?” His voice in her ear made her jump, even though she knew he was there. He straightened up to lay his hand on her shoulder instead. 

“Almost two days.” 

He hummed in response. It was different from the hum he made as a dragon, but reminded her so strongly of the noise he'd made when she was in his coils that her stomach did an odd little flip. She stood and turned to wrap her arms around his waist and hug him tightly, nuzzling into his shoulder as she did. He stiffened at first, surprised by her gesture, but laid his arm across her shoulders to return the hug.

“Don’t scare me like that,” she grumbled, headbutting him as she did to emphasize her point. “I thought you were actually dying or something.” 

He chuckled as he started rubbing her back in comforting circles. “I don’t think I’ve slept like that…” he started, then paused to think. “Ever. I’ve never slept like that before.” He looked down at her in his arms and smiled warmly. “I guess having my savior around really does help.” 

Without thinking about it, she reached up to trace the circles under his eyes. As she smoothed the pads of her thumbs over the fragile skin, she couldn’t tell for sure, but she thought they looked lighter. He certainly seemed more relaxed than he had been yesterday. 

"I'm glad you got some sleep." 

His cheeks warmed under her touch and he reached up to pull her hands away, stepping back as he did. Her blush answered his as she realized she'd been standing maybe a little too close to him. He cleared his throat and looked away, over to the table that was strewn with his books. 

"You've been busy." 

"Just reading. Catching up, you know." 

"Anything interesting?" 

She bit her lip as she hesitated. "Well, the one I'm interested in I haven't read yet." 

“Which one?” 

She pointed to her stack, unwilling to go near the stack of paper and set it aflame, but also unwilling to let go of his hand. He followed her direction and dug through the pile one-handed until he landed on the small leather bound journal.

"I forgot about this thing." He sat in her chair and she kept a hand on his shoulder as he flipped through the pages. "I wanted to learn to read and write. My friend, the one I told you about, he helped me. Although I have to admit I wasn't the best student." He chuckled again as he found a page that was ripped in half. "I had a temper, and a tendency towards tantrums. Honestly he probably taught me more about patience than anything else. Not intentionally, I'm sure, since patience is hardly in his vocabulary."  

Watching him flip through the pages, she could see it now, the illegible scrawl morphing itself into letters followed by words. Rips and holes and singed pages where he got frustrated, lessening as he got towards the end. 

"Do you care if I look at it?" she asked. 

He stiffened for a brief moment before he visibly relaxed and laid it back down on top of her pile. "If you want. There's not much there, really." 

"Lukaaaa!" Someone sang from below, loudly enough for it to carry up to them, and terribly off-key. 

"Speak of the devil," Luka muttered. 

Marinette turned her head to look out the window, but whoever was there was approaching from the other direction. 

"Is it your friend?" she asked.

“Come on, you great scaly beast! I know you can hear me, and I haven’t got all day!” 

Luka’s lips pressed together into that thin line, but also curved up into a smile. His thumb rubbed against her wrist lightly, apparently taking comfort from their joined hands. As an answer, he tugged her gently towards the stairs, and she followed, wondering who it was that could make him so instantly on edge and excited at the same time. 

When they got to the bottom, Luka stopped and turned back to her. “I have to warn you. He can be a little… well, odd. He…” He chuckled, embarrassed, before he continued. “He thinks he can see the future. Or, I don’t know, maybe he actually does, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. If you’re not sure what to say, do this—” He held up his free hand with his thumb tucked over his middle and ring fingers, his index and pinky extended all the way up. She mimicked the gesture and he nodded in satisfaction. 

“Perfect. It means…" He paused to think then shook his head. "Okay, honestly, I don’t know what it means. Some sort of music he swears is all the rage in the future." 

He stopped and looked at her, his eyes brighter than she'd ever seen them, and grinned before he took a quick breath in through his nose and let it out through his mouth and shook his shoulders as if settling his scales.

"Kid! Where you at? Seriously, you gonna make an old man—" 

The voice yelped before a thud resounded through the clearing and Luka hid a snicker behind his hand as he walked out with Marinette onto the stone path. 

[lesyeuxdeflwr]

NOTRE AMOUR INTERDIT. [ OUR FORBIDDEN LOVE. ]

☆ warnings : cursing ( probably ) BOLD IS NARRATOR’S DIALOGUE. BOLD ITALIC IS [BLONDIE] RED LOCKS’ CHANNEL. Character names are kind of cringey since I based it on Ever After High characters.

☆ pairing : kuroo tetsurou x reader <3

☆ AU : EVER AFTER HIGH! x HAIKYUU!

★ sypnosis : You and kuroo weren’t the least ideal pairing if you were to be a teensy weensy honest to your own uneasy and scattered thoughts. Okay maybe SCARTCH THAT, you had to be MASSIVELY honest. I mean for real, the daughter of Belle and the Beast, a royal; coupled up with the son of the vicious Gaston, a rebel? Both of your parents and Headmaster Grimm thinks the both of you can seriously do much better. "If you’re a Royal. You must marry a Royal. If you’re a Rebel, you must marry a Rebel." The bullshit they would say. Apparently Kuroo and you thought the opposite.

★ author’s note : I haven’t wrote in so long 😇🙏 I myself find this absolutely cringe worthy but I tried 😬😬. I was and still absolutely in love with Ever After High so I just wanted to give it a try, like the idea just popped into my mind and wow "seems cool" 😱😔🙏😯✋🤨❌😐🙏

You and kuroo never wished to be stucked in both of your parents wretched legacies. It was something you never asked for and will never ever need. And ever since you knew you were destined to dump his ass just for a so Prince Charming and for you to be able to live happily ever after with that so called 'Prince', it was an definite no. Your story was just like any other tragic heck of of a love story. Just like Romeo and Juliet..but definitely without the dying part, you thought. And this time you were dedicated to stop the multiple dragging of the stereotypical cycle that had been stretched on for long ages and decades, it had absolutely sicken you to death. Kuroo and you were just teenagers. Both who love each other to death to even have the biggest confidence to rebel against your parents. Plus Kuroo wasn’t anything like his dad. His dad was arrogant, vicious, overly narcissistic, obsessive, and chauvinistic. While, him. He was everything you wanted. They never deciphered who he was, to them he was the exact embodiment of his old man. But to you he was just another smart closeted nerd who gave unfunny jokes, to you he was a dorky simp who’d make flower crowns whenever you had dreamy secret garden dates, to you he looked just about like a puppy when waking up with his unusually messier bed hair, to you he was your twin flame, your other half. Though definitely he was surely narcissistic from time to time but he was nothing too overbearing. It wouldn’t make sense if he was Gaston’s son and wasn’t at all manifesting and voicing out his arrogant opinions about his looks once in a while, right?

But you couldn’t really blame him either, he was just out-rightly plain handsome. You giggled lightly a hand over your mouth, that was your first thought about him. In your first meeting. It wasn’t really a fond memory of yours at first, before you started seeing each other. You two clashed bad, hardly any space to confine in between the both your petty arguments towards each other. You were as sensitive as him as he was as sarcastic as you. You’ve never even thought of about standing two feet near his as you’d say before 'Rebel ass'. But now here you were stroking his abnormally large rooster bed hair lightly while he had his head laid on your lap humming a cute song that had been both of your favorite song ever since you’ve introduced him to the diverse beauty of music. You should thank the Cupid of Ever After High, Yachi Hitoka for having you slowly grown off your slow burn wattpad kind of story and into the land of sweetness and absolute love. "Have you ever heard of the song 'Line without a hook'?" Kuroo had asked you kissing the top of your right, soft, and feminine hand as he stood up into a sitting position, laying his head on your comfortable and long neck. "No? Is that like a type of figure of speech or a slang term I missed hearing about? I swear Alisa always tells me the new slangs." Kuroo nodded through the crook of your warm neck. "It’s kind of like me telling you that I don’t think I’ll be able to live without you. You’re a big deal, a Royal, a princess, and I’m just a Rebel, a villain whose job was to ruin everything they surrounded. I’m a line without a hook, except I do have the hook. You. you were and will always be the hook to my line. But I’m beginning to wonder if you would really want to be with me. I mean you’re just so wonderful? So beautiful, so admirable—" Before he could even process on with his ramble you’ve already chapped his lips on yours, kissing him desperately like it was the end of the cruel world— a demanding but soft kiss. It wasn’t the even the first time you kissed but holy fuck, Kuroo had still heard his loud heart beating, enough to get him into a frenzy as he felt his knees grow weaker and weaker to your touch. The way you curled your fingers around his own, your own fragrance that he loved ever since, smelled like books with a hint of freshly baked cinnamon and strawberries. He wasn’t sure if nature rooted for this moment or if his mind tricked him into a perfect present, but every breath he took smelled like jasmine and for the first time since he’d known himself, he didn’t feel insecure because you who had been there for him, although he was too blinded with his own doubtful thoughts to see. Had basked him with affection and the warmth your body gave off. This time around he draped both arms around your own small frame and met your lips again halfway.

You’ve finally decided to rip the both of your lips from each other as you made eye contact with his soft hazel eyes, it reflecting so ethereally under the winsome hues of orange tangerine, mellow yellow, murky red the sunset had offered. "To start with I choose you and I will never choose anyone else, Kuroo. I will never not love you. You are so beautiful, so handsome. My love for you is so strong that neither a bank full of riches could break it down. Kuroo I love you, and I always will. Let’s go through this together, yeah? You don’t need to carry the burden for your own self, love. We’re in this, the two of us, together." Kuroo couldn’t help but spread a euphoric grin to his face as he tackled you into a tight hug under the cherry blossom tea. "I love you so much."

Lunch had came to Ever After High as you and Kuroo had pretended to despise each other through your expressions but something was different. He wasn’t as intense with his glares, it looked more nervous than it should have. Wait why is he standing up? Why is he carrying an enormous amount of pink roses in a big bouquet? Why are birds dropping petals around him, singing angelic and melodic tunes? Is he going towards your direction? You thought he wanted the both of you to be an unknown secret? Thoughts go through your thick head as you hadn’t notice Kuroo had already been in front of you. "You had made me realize that maybe, just maybe, we can be able to defy against all odds and stop the stereotypical cicrcle once and for all. So will you Beauty Y/n accept my public confession and mark this as our first day of not having to spend days and nights planning out hidden dates?" Before you could have comprehend your own body was not cooperating, your legs giving out as you find yourself already wrapped in kuroo’s sweet smell as he held you high up twirling you around, arms balancing you, and two goofy smiles plastered on your face. "Y/n? You and Kuroo a-are dating?" Alisa Haiba White, daughter of Snow White had asked so hesitantly. "B-but you’re a Royal? And he’s a..Rebel?!" She had opened both of her hands that looked like she was offering, transitioning over to you and Kuroo. "Totally awkward!" Terushima Yuuji Hood, son of Robin hood. Singing as he played a small rock tune on his guitar along with it. You ignored her and Hood as you stroll to the opposite side of their direction pulling Kuroo with you, he gave her an apologetic look shrugging his shoulders and obediently following you.

"A Royal dating a Rebel? That’s just not how the tale is told."

"The followed their true hearts! After all that’s kind of the things you do in True heart’s day? It’s in the title!"

"So fellow Fairy Tales! Red Locks here aka Tendou Satori, to give you reaction to the Royal Rebellious romance!"

"I think it’s hexcellent! Y/n and Kuroo decided to rewrite their destinies, what’s wrong with that?" Alisa can be heard and seen from the back, her cries and tantrums shown throughout the interview. — Interview answered by Sugawara Queen Koushi, son of the Evil Queen.

"I feel for them. I mean keeping secrets is hard.." Terushima can be seen trying to steal Kenma’s food failing as the red hooded boy, threatened him with his piercing gold eyes. —Interview answered by Kenma Kozume Hood, son of Red Riding Hood.

"A Royal and a Rebel? Heh. They’re from two different worlds—" Hot blazing fire shots towards Oikawa’s strong shield, a big and buff dragon towering over him. "I am trying to do an interview here!" He threw the shield on the ground as the dragon let out a whimper and sulked in fear. — Interview answered by Prince Oikawa Tooru Charming, son of Prince Charming.

"I’m worried about Y/n and Kuroo. If they don’t follow their destinies, their books could close...forever." — Interview answered by Alisa Haiba White, daughter of Snow White.

"Remember our quiz tomorrow, on Tiara sighs and future neck problems." You begrudgingly stride towards your best friend. "Alisa we need to talk." Alisa stopd up a sorrowful and worried look plastered on her face. "N/n this is hard for me. Which is a first because I usually handle everything so very well. I’m just surprised you didn’t trust me enough to tell me." Alisa’s hand shapes into a small crunched heart as she places it under her chin midway, into her second sentence. "I know. I just didn’t think you’d understand, well mostly because you’re very much strict in following our own destinies." Alisa creases both her eyebrows hand staying staying still under her chin. "I guess I don’t? It just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to someone I care so much about." At this point Alisa’s arms were crosses against each other the clash of her eyebrows going even deeper.

"And so you’re telling me all these heart-shaped cakes are for your play...?" Headmaster Grimm had asked as he opened the white boxes that was offered. Cute shades of pink are shown throughout the exquisite designs of the heart-shaped cakes as it is shown in his line of sight. "Y-yeah for the play! T-they’re for the really funny scene, where Suna throws them at Yamomoto!" Yamomoto Taketora, the son of the Frog Prince. Had looked so done with his life blustering out a small, "Excuse me?!" Suna Rintarou, son of sleeping beauty. Went down the the Headmaster, as he winds up his shoulder throwing the heart-shaped cake at Yamomoto. "Very well." Both Yachi, Suna, and Yamomoto had sauntered down their shoulders a hard sigh of relief passing through their throats and out their mouths.

You walked through the rocky roads as multiple clothing, hair, shoe shops surrounded every corner of the side roads. You stopped at the shop Alisa was in your right hand touching the window as your longing gaze intenses, of course you would miss your best friend. "Hi Y/n." Duch Kōrai Hoshiumi, son of the Swan Queen had appeared in front of you suddenly as his voice held a gentle and almost desperate tone. "Duch. What do you want?" You let go of your lingering touch on the window as you walked to the opposite direction of the latter. "What do I want? My own happily every after, of course! And now that everyone knows that you’re dating a Rebel it looks like there’s one available. No hard cover books for you, boo." You look at him hurt and worried. You didn’t know whether to be worried of how he was so invested in ruining others life just because he won’t have his own happily ever after. Or be hurt by the way he told you that publicly dating Kuroo was the biggest mistake of you life. Why not just write your own destiny, like me, like Kuroo, like the both of us? "So you’re happy about Kuroo and I are dating, while my best friends aren’t happy? Maybe I did make a mistake..." Hoshiumi widens his eyes mentally slapping himself as the guilt slips in, he shakes his head. Not like he would tell anyone what he was actually feeling. "What?! No! You’re totally doing the right thing! Follow your heart...and..uh all of that.. sappy stuff.." He was too late for you were already running around the corners, laying in your shared dorm room with Suna. Am I taking back what I said to him? Am I doing the opposite of what I’ve promised to him myself? Am I going to stop ‘never not loving him'? But I can’t. I love him too much. But what about Alisa. You know what, fuck this. If she can’t accept who I love it’s not worth it to continue our friendship. We’ll keep on holding on to the person who we thought each other was rather than the present persona we have right now.

That’s what you thought.

"Sorry but I’m saving this for Y/n." Kuroo mutters placing a mirror frame with a picture of the both of you together, cuddly and kissy. The lanky teenage boy who had been rejected begins to find another seat but not without a nasty glare and an ugly leer to spare. Kuroo whistles a high pitches tune with his fingers between his lips. A squirrel and a bunny hop their way to the table wearing cute mini suits, arranging a fancy dinner plate set and an extra extravagant candle that lit up the moment it touches the table. "Hey Y/n!" Kuroo waves his thinly hand at you, clearing his dry throat. Two birds pass by you dropping your favorite kind of flowers. Tulips. And finally a hand-made flower crown is over her head, now dropping. He made the flower crown the way you like it. "Kuroo.. we need to talk." Kuroo has this sense of urgency, just from telling by the way you talked he could already comprehend it was something bad and he wasn’t ready. "Uhh..Y/n?" He never was and never will be. "I just— I thought this would be a good thing. You showing us we’re dating to the whole school. I thought it would take the pressure off but now...everything is worse." Kuroo can’t bare to look at you, if he did he would’ve broken down here and now. "W-what do you mean? I thought we were through this together? I thought I didn’t have to do this alone? Why does it feel like I’m drifting away from you again, but this time. This time it’s you whose the cause of it?" You could already feel the horror and grief you would during the aftermath of these heartbreaking events. "I-i don’t know, but what will happen to our stories, to our legacies, to our destinies. I swear I’m being such a hypocrite now but what if it is best? What if we really actually were not supposed to be for each other? I don’t want anything bad to happen to us, to you. I think— I think we should break-up."

"And so, as the Sun set in Ever After High. The students were getting fairest for the big dance."

You looked at the the side of your mirror a clear picture of you and Kuroo placed with a heart-shaped sticker. The frown on your face had become much more frowny, if that was even possible.

"Give it up for Semi Eita Piper!" Loud cheers of hilarity can be heard from the whole room as they danced to their hearts content to the cool music and beats Semi Eita Piper, the son of Peter Piper had in stored for them. "Now since True Heart’s Day hasn’t been spelebrated in such a long time I wanted to tell everyone what it’s all about. Once upon a time, there grew a very special tree. The Heart Tree. And even if the winter was harsh, and the other’s failed to bloom; the Heart Tree blossomed no matter what. And so, our Fairy Tale ancestors gave the blossoms to each other on True Heart’s Day. To show that even though it’s not always easy true love will always find a way. And so to encourage all of us to follow our true heart—" Petite and ethereal fairies fly all over the room dropping multiple numbers of hearts to the students inside each receiving colors of hot hot pink and lovely red. "Make sure to give yours to someone special to you!" Before you knew it you were already on stage with your friend, Yachi as you ask to take the mic from her and prepare for your small speech towards the only love of your life. "Excuse me— uhm can I? Kuroo? When I listened to my true heart, it tells me that you’re the only one. You’re my Prince Charming, villain or not. You’re my love, my everything, my twin flame. And I think you’re a fairy tale. I think you’re magical , and brave, and exquisite. And I hope you’ll let me be in your story once again." Kuroo was about to say something but Tendou beat him to it as his curious personality spikes him up as the son of Goldie Locks. "But how can you be a Royal and date Kuroo?" He looks at you intently as if waiting for your answer, hoping it would be a good one. "If writing our own 'Happily Ever After' means I can’t be a Royal then call me Beauty Y/n the Rebel!" You pointed your left pointing finger as the once worry wart look on your face had disappeared and was replaced with a jovial and confident smirk. "Kuroo? I want to give this to you, if you’ll have it." You grin at him awkwardly offering the small heart to him. "Of course I will, I can never resist you no matter what." He would’ve begged you either way to come back to him after the part but this was a hundred times better.

"Alisa! I-i’m so sorry I just had to do it and I love him so mu—" Alisa had approached you with a frown on her face offering her small heart just like how you offered Kuroo your own heart. "I might be worried about you, and I might think you’re doing the wrong thing, but I want you to know we’ll always be friends. That’s what’s in my True heart." You smiled widely at her, finally coming into good terms and resolved the issue once and for all. "Thank you Alisa!" You let out an insanely jovial glee at her. Dragging your bed headed boyfriend, you slow danced with him. "Do you think we could have cuddly sessions after these?" He asks hesitantly playing with the hem of your silk dress. "At our cottage in the forest Sir yes Sir." You bluntly said so serious that Kuroo can’t help but laugh because you were just absolutely too cute for your own good. He leans in your forehead, ignorant to both your height differences as he basks in his own enjoyment, happiness, and joy he is now currently feeling. He is happy, you are happy, both of you are happy.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

The Skirt

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia Summary: Denki wears a skirt in front of her classmates for the first time. Warnings: Coming out, genderfluid character Word Count: 1,796 Ships: Kamanari Denki/Sero Hanta

Archive link!

“You can do this, you can do this,” she chanted to herself over and over again. Despite the affirming words, her hands hovered over the handle to the door. She could do it, she could leave her room and go downstairs. It wouldn’t be any different than it had been the other dozens of times that she had done it. 

“Except this time it’ll be completely different,” she removed her hand from the doorknob completely and sat down heavily on her bed. “Everything’ll be different.”

Panic began to creep up from her stomach and sit heavily in her chest. She ran a hand shakily through her hair, though she was careful to avoid the cute clips that she had worked so hard to get into her hair in a way that didn’t look stupid. A couple more deep breaths had the panic simmering back down for the time being. She could tell that it was there, resting in the background and waiting to spring back up and choke her at any moment, but it was dormant for now.

“Come on, you’ve been female for a week now. You can wear a skirt in front of your classmates and ask to be called your proper pronouns,” she encouraged herself. “Kyouka promised that she’d be there for you if things go badly anyway. You can do this. It won’t be like last time. They’re heroes, they’re not going to be transphobic.”

The other voice in the back of her mind, the one that had stopped her from doing this up until now, spoke up again. It reminded her that genderfluidity wasn’t really accepted as an identity by quite a lot of queer people, and that it was a burden to ask people to remember the correct pronouns when they changed so often.

She didn’t get much of a chance to mull that over as someone knocked on the door. She sat upright as panic fluttered throughout her again, but it quickly settled down as she heard the voice of her childhood friend. “Hey, you missed breakfast. I’m heading to class now, but I’m going to force a granola bar into you during break,” she promised. 

The other teenager heard Kyouka’s hurried footsteps as her childhood friend left to go to class. Denki let out a small hiss. She was hoping that she would have been able to get some of the reaction out of the way before class started, but she had waited too long and now everyone would see her at the same time.

She stood up, a fierce determination taking over her. She flung the door to her room open and fled down the hall after making sure it was securely latched. She was going to do this, she wouldn’t chicken out. She had Kyouka by her side, and she logically couldn’t be the only trans or queer person at this school. Hopefully whoever the other queer people were would recognize that her gender and feelings were real and back her up. If they didn’t at least she had Kyouka.

The trip across the campus was quick and painless. There were very few people traveling over the green or on any of the sidewalks, and those that were didn’t recognize her and she didn’t recognize them. The nervousness that she had been feeling all morning returned to her when she reached the door. She puffed up her chest, smiling slightly as the shirt hung over her differently, giving her the illusion of being physically female like she wished she could be at the moment.

The euphoria of looking like the gender she currently was inside let her open the door and she quickly walked inside. She could feel the eyes of her classmates following her, though there were still the normal speckled conversations that usually took place before their teacher woke up and began classes.

She sat down at her desk, placing her bag next to her. Panic was heavy in her chest but she was doing her best to keep it down and away from the surface. She was doing something that scared the shit out of her, and she couldn’t let them see weakness like she had done in middle school.

Nobody said anything, though more and more of the conversations were dying down as people realized that something was up. Soon she had nearly every single person looking at her, and it was really beginning to get to her. She shifted awkwardly, staring down at her lap. Her nervous mannerisms began to pick up and she started to brush her hands over her skirt and fiddle with the loose strings of her button up shirt.

“Uh, Denki?” someone finally spoke up.

The blond responded by snapping her head up and looking directly at who had spoken. Mina was sitting closest to her and had apparently been the one to finish reeling first too.

“Are you wearing a skirt?” Izuku asked from the other side of the room.

The blond shifted again, swallowing down nothing as she tried to dampen her nerves. She caught the confident smile that Kyouka was wearing and then nodded. “Yeah, I am. I’m wearing makeup too.”

“Why?” Hitoshi asked. 

“If my boyfriend wants to wear a skirt and makeup then he can, whenever he wants to,” Hanta said from behind Denki, immediately getting defensive of her.

Dysphoria flared up in her again as she shifted in her seat. “Actually, um, I’m wearing makeup and a skirt today because I’m a girl.”

“You are?” Hanta asked, blinking. He then panicked, “Not that that’s a bad thing! I just wasn’t expecting it. I still want to be here for you if you need me.”

“Well, I’m not a girl all the time,” the blond got out before any more of the chaos in the classroom could unfold. “I just… I’m genderfluid. It means that I feel like my gender changes. Sometimes I feel like both, sometimes I feel like neither, sometimes I feel female, sometimes I feel male. I know it’s kind of an annoying thing, so I’m not going to ask any of you to change pronouns all the time, but I just want to be myself.”

“Nonsense,” Tenya called over the top of the clamoring of voices from some of the students. “Everyone will respect Denki’s pronouns no matter how often they change, and if you don’t I have some firm words for you.”

“Yeah, same! Disrespect my friend and you and I are going to have a problem,” Eijirou called. “Transphobia is so unmanly!”

To her surprise, the next person from her friend group to speak up was Katsuki. “More than a problem. You might not live to see your birthday if you decide to disrespect her. Got it, you bunch of losers?”

“None of us want to disrespect her, Kacchan!” Izuku called, having become a lot more outward now that he was comfortable around the rest of the class. There were a couple of crows in agreement, before the conversations began to pick back up and people returned to what they were doing.

Momo was up from her chair and gathering Denki up in a hug. “Thank you for coming out to us, it means a lot. I have a couple tips and tricks for this kind of dysphoria if you ever want to spend some time together,” she beamed.

“Ooh! We should invite her to girl’s night on the weeks that she’s feeling like a girl!” Tooru clapped her hands together in excitement.

“Yeah, we could do your hair and paint your nails!” Ochako chimed in, looking just as giddy and excited. “I bet that you could give us some tips on eyeshadow too, you look really good today.”

“Thanks. I used to do it on my sisters and I guess I just got really good over time,” she flushed and rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. 

Tsuyu was the next one to speak. “Also, you don’t have to be female to come to girl’s night. You can be nonbinary or agender like me and still show up. It’s mostly just for us to do girly stuff like gossip and paint each other’s nails.”

“That sounds really nice,” she grinned. “I’m pretty good at painting nails and braiding hair.”

“This is going to be so much fun!” Mina grinned. “You and I have to go shopping the next time that we get a weekend outside of school. I want to have a fashion show with you.”

“Kyouka already took me shopping when I was in middle school, I’ve got some feminine clothes. And it’s not like I have much of an allowance to spend,” she shrugged awkwardly.

The pink teenager rolled her eyes. “My dads spoil me with a big allowance, and I’m sure that they’d be more than willing to help if I told them that it was to get clothes so that you would feel more comfortable!”

“Yeah, okay,” she nodded finally after a moment of deliberation. Mina quickly got caught up in a conversation with Tooru across the aisle about which shops that they should bring their new feminine friend to.

Denki jumped as she felt someone tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see her boyfriend sitting there with that stupid smile that he always got when he was looking at her. “Hey,” she whispered. “I hope that this isn’t too weird for you. And that you’re not mad I didn’t come out to you first.”

“It’s okay,” Hanta shook his head. “I now that coming out can be really difficult. It took me three years just to be able to tell my parents that I was questioning my sexuality, and even longer to admit to them that I was bi.”

She reached out to grasp the hand that was resting on his desk, threading their fingers together. “I just wanted to get it all done and out of the way at once. Coming out is so hard, so I wanted to do it once instead of half a dozen times.”

“I get that. Thanks for sharing this with us. I’ll try my best to remember your pronouns and change around some of the pet names that I use for you,” he brightened up. “Does this mean that I can finally experiment around with some of the girly ones?”

She laughed, “Yeah, it does.”

“Awesome,” he beamed, leaning across the desk to gently give her a kiss on her lips.

“I love you so much,” she giggled. “Thank you for being so supportive of me.”

“Of course. What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I wasn’t supportive?” Hanta snorted. His face softened and he rubbed the back of her knuckles with his thumb. “I love you too.”

[star-spangledstud]

Better Than Me (1/2)

Part two here!

Description: Based off of Doja Cat’s song Better Than Me. Steve seems to see every woman except for you.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x (Female) Reader

Word count: 2000-ish. 

Warnings: Angst? Brief mentions of sex. 

Your heart thumped so fast you could feel it beating in your throat. There was a lump in the back of it that made it hard to swallow, accompanied by the feeling of a dry mouth that didn’t help your case. You bit your lip harshly in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, but they still pricked in the corners of your eyes, which flew to the ceiling and focused on nothing in particular. 

You were standing behind the door of your room, chest heaving and hands shaking. In fact, you didn’t even notice it, but your entire body was trembling. You were angry, so angry that it made you want to cry and at least three people had to have heard your door slam so loud it nearly came off its hinges. You knew nobody would dare to disturb you, not like this, not unless they had a death wish.

He’d brought a stranger to Tony’s party. Again. You almost expected it, but still, you’d gotten dolled up, dressed in the nicest dress Wanda was able to find for you on her shopping trip three weeks prior. Light blue satin with spaghetti straps that ended just above your knees. It was pretty, it was fucking amazing, so amazing it could only have cost her at least $1000, but she gave it to you as a present and had practically forced you to put it on. It wasn’t your style, way out of your comfort zone, but you’d hoped he would see it and change his mind about you.

A tear finally slipped down your cheeks, instantly ruining the eyeliner and mascara that had taken you nearly an hour to apply. The sheer pink sparkly lipgloss you’d used to plump your lips in an effort to make yourself irresistible had already faded from drinking too much champagne, yet you could taste the vanilla on your tongue when you once again bit into your bottom lip. Your highlighted cheekbones and nose still shone, but the light in your eyes had dimmed the second you saw them together, laughing and joking and worst of all, dancing. 

He’d always told you he hated dancing. That he was no good at it, that he had two left feet that were just waiting for him to make a fool of himself on the dancefloor. Yet still, she managed to pull him along while you sat by the bar, gripping the elongated glass of bubbly so hard it nearly shattered in your fist. From where you sat, it didn’t look like he hated dancing at all. In fact, it looked like he was having the time of his life. He never danced with you. 

As you plopped down on your bed, your mind immediately began to race. What did she have that you didn’t? What made her more special than you? What was it about her that he liked so much? You could name at least a thousand things that you could use to compare yourself to her, even though you didn’t even know her. Did he even know her?

Foundation, concealer, and bronzer stained your pillowcase as you cried into it, but you didn’t bother taking it off with a makeup wipe until the day after. You snorted when you realized you woke up still wearing that blue fucking dress, the dress that would make any man bend over backward for you. Any man except the one you wanted so badly.

You’d been friends with him ever since you first got recruited. He enjoyed the fact that you could show him the world, that you listened to him when he felt down and that you were always there when he needed you. You were enamored with him from the first hello, thought he felt the same way. Apparently, the only thing you were really good for was your extensive knowledge of 21st-century pop-culture and your listening ear. He should’ve expected you to fall for him with how nice and sweet and handsome and- Stop it.

He found out you liked him through Sam, who found out through Natasha. Of course, she was the first person to know. Nothing could slip by the seasoned assassin, not even your dying love for Steve fucking Rogers and naturally, Sam couldn’t keep his blabbering mouth shut. You loved the guy, but he had no filter sometimes. It could’ve been a good thing though because you’d been too afraid to tell Steve yourself. Could have, because things didn’t work out how you expected, not even after he kissed you one night on the roof of the compound. Why the fuck did he kiss you if he didn’t mean it?

 Steve told you he didn’t want to date a coworker, that it would never work with how busy the two of you were and instead of trying to convince him otherwise, you agreed with him. Of course, after he’d left the room, you cried so hard you thought your eyes would pop out of your sockets and you hadn’t been the same ever since. You’d lost confidence in yourself, lost trust in your abilities to be what a man would want in a woman. Lost trust in your own womanhood and femininity.

Before, all of you would hang out together in the common room at night, watching movies, chatting about your day and playing video games on the PlayStation console. You’d have breakfast and dinner together as a family, share your dreams and plans for the day with one another, wish each other luck on missions. You were always the light in the room, or so they said. You’d make pancakes or fried eggs with bacon for the whole team, beat Bucky in Call of Duty and you’d pick movies that made even Natasha cry tears of sadness. They loved having you around, every single one of them had a connection with you. 

But you just couldn’t bear to spend more than ten minutes in the same room as him anymore. The tension that only you seemed to feel hung heavy over your shoulders while he laughed trying to figure out Assassin’s Creed with Sam. You couldn’t stand it when he talked to you, tried to get you to laugh with him as if nothing ever happened. He thought you were okay with it, that you felt the same way about dating as he did. He had no idea it was eating you up from the inside because you refused to let him. You didn’t want anyone to think you were weak, even though that’s exactly how you felt. 

Wanda did notice how down you were, which is why she bought you the dress. It was her idea to get over him, make him fall for you so hard he couldn’t get around his feelings even if he tried. It was stupid, looking back because Steve didn’t just fall for women because of their appearance, but it was the only thing you still hadn’t tried. Had he even looked at you once? You couldn’t remember, because you were tired and drunk and too busy wallowing in self-pity, but you hadn’t once felt his eyes on you and it hurt like hell. 

Get over him was the idea, but your efforts had resulted in the opposite. The way he looked in that green velvet tuxedo, that black-tie tight around his neck and his hair perfectly coiffed, it had made you want to rip his clothes off then and there. You wanted to have the upper hand in the situation, but you were still at this man’s mercy.

“Get up,” Wanda said while pulling open your curtains with her powers, “Operation Spangles isn’t over yet.” 

“Get lost,” you muttered, dragging the covers over your face further, “it’s no use. I’ll never get over that perfect dipshit.”

She ripped the sheets away in a swift motion, long hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head and her face free of make-up. Wanda cringed when she saw you, eyes red and bags under them. 

“Don’t say that,” she sat down on the edge of your bed, “You need to realize those girls aren’t any better than you and that he is in denial. It’s his loss, sweetheart, and he’s anything but perfect.” 

“Is he though?” You snorted, “He’s brought back like, five girls in three months. Clearly, he can get whoever he wants.” 

“Just because he can get them, doesn’t mean he wants them. Anyway, you can’t let this get you down. C’mon, get dressed.” 

So you allowed her to drag you out of bed. Allowed her to take you shopping, buy you new clothes with too much cleavage and ruffles made from silk and velvet. Dresses that almost showed your ass in colors you’d never pick if it weren’t for her. You chose heels instead of sneakers, a perfume that smelled like freshly picked flowers and more of that pink, sparkly lipgloss, all with the idea that dressing up was fun. You looked like you belonged on an Instagram profile with 500k followers, not out on the streets of dirty, dusty New York City. 

But you tried, put effort into your appearance as a distraction. You tried to become social again, tried to strike up friendships with people outside of the Avengers because you desperately craved normalcy. Eventually, you got good at picking out outfits and styling your hair. It became a new pastime, a new hobby to keep your mind away from the guy that was constantly near you, no matter how hard you tried to avoid him. 

You began to enjoy applying make-up in the early hours of the morning with a cup of coffee and some YouTube videos to keep you company. It became a part of your morning routine. Sam always complimented you on how you matched your eyeshadow to your lipstick. Bruce said he respected you for wearing heels all day - even though you still wore sneakers when your feet got too tired. Even Tony complimented you, saying he thought you looked happy and healthy. You weren’t exactly sure if happy was the right word, but to you, it was a start. The distraction was a start. 

Even Natasha told you how beautiful you were so often you eventually began to believe it. She took you to bars and taught to seduce men that didn’t mean shit to you just like she had to do during her years of training. She brought you to sweaty nightclubs with VIP tables and guest lists that contained celebrities where drinks were at least $35 apiece and where you couldn’t even talk over the sound of the music. You still thought of him, wondering what it would be like to dance with him instead of some greasy stranger rubbing his dick against your ass, but you didn’t allow yourself to ponder. He didn’t want to dance with you, so you didn’t want to dance with him, either. That ship had sailed. 

You brought them back to the compound sometimes. If the alcohol flowed too freely and the grinding had riled you up, you’d whisper in their ears and they’d follow you like lost puppies. Fuck, they would follow you to Europe if you asked them to because you were irresistible and fuck Steve for not seeing it before. Most times you’d order them an Uber and kick them out before the sun had a chance to rise over the skyline, but sometimes you’d allow them to stay for breakfast followed by round two. It didn’t mean anything, it was just a hobby. 

It took you months to get to that point. Months of spending money on clothes and bottles, months of taking people to lunch and getting treated in return. Months of socially distancing yourself from Steve Rogers, who eventually began to notice the shift in your personality. He missed your presence more than he realized in the beginning. You reminded him of Houdini with the way that you changed your look every day. You didn’t think he noticed when you used a new eyeshadow palette, but he did. You didn’t think he appreciated the way your body looked in bodycon dresses and tailored blazers, but he sure did.

Steve realized something, too. 

They were definitely not better than you. 

[moeruhoshi]

OKAY TELL ME HOW THIS SOUNDS

Lucy was upset, frustrated, truly on the edge of a mental breakdown. She had had enough of her father’s rules and her role as the heir to her father’s company.

Why else would she be running down the financial district in a party dress? Only those who were truly fed up would do such a thing. She was barely eighteen and her father was introducing her to a marriage candidate? At a party for Mavis’ sake?! So many people had overheard!

“No! How dare…! Father! I—I can’t even imagine…! Screw that!” She had finally cracked, thrown her drink and stormed out of the hotel on high heels. “I’m not marrying anyone!”

It was completely unlike her to have made a scene in front of his colleagues like that, but fuck it. She wasn’t going to be that obedient daddy’s girl any longer.

The stress of her situation became adrenaline as she continued to run, tossing her heels and refusing to stop. She didn’t know where she was going, but it felt like nothing could stop her now.

“Taichou?” That caught her attention. Her ragged breath began to slow as she halted, her eyes caught by the stare of an onyx pair.

“Oh...hey, Natsu,” He stood against a storefront beside an alleyway, one foot kicked up on the wall, one hand holding his phone. He was in front of his family’s bar, but everyone knew that it was the front for the mafia. His father ran one of the largest groups in the area, but despite that, Natsu was a good kid. Unless you pissed him the hell off.

He had piercings, tattoos even. His black hair was dyed pink and he always wore a leather jacket outside of school.

“Where the hell are your shoes?” He snickered, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“Oh, I don’t really know,” She shrugged. “I tossed them a while back, they’re not really made for running.”

“You’re not being chased, are ya?” He stood up straight and approached her, calculating eyes staring down the street she came from.

“No, no, nothing like that,” She shook her head. “My, um, my dad kind of...pissed me off, so I was running from a party.”

“Makes sense,” He said, staring down the black cocktail dress she wore. “But I didn’t think you were the type to get pissed off.”

“Not usually...he pushed me too far,” Her lips twisted into a frown. “Geez, I’ll have to see him when I get home...fuck,”

“You can curse?” He laughed loudly with a split grin. “I thought you were too straight-laced to say stuff like that!”

“Well, not anymore...I’m tired of being some stupid, straight-A, follow the rules kinda girl,” She huffed, crossing her arms.

“Then I can hide ya for a couple days,” He suggested. “Since you don’t want to go home,”

“You’d do that for me?” Her eyes twinkled and he laughed again.

“Yeah, ‘course, taichou. Stay right here, I’ll go get my bike,” He said, first taking off his jacket for her to put on.

Lucy watched as he jogged down the alleyway, returning with his motorcycle and an extra helmet.

“You’re gonna want to hold on tight, alright?” He said as she awkwardly positioned herself behind him. Lucy nodded and wrapped her arms securely around his torso before they took off.

She rested her head against his back, eyes watching the lights of the city go rapidly past them. Her body still thrummed with excitement, unable to still as she burned with furious rebellion. Doing new and out of character things was seriously awesome.

“Alright, here we are,” He said, pulling his bike to a stop in front of an amazingly huge apartment complex.

“This is where you live?” Lucy asked as he helped her off.

“Nah, just a place I use every so often,” He said, taking her hand in his as they entered the building. “My dad owns it, so I have a space he let me have. No one else comes here, so you can stay as long as you like.”

“Luckily I chose the week before spring break to run away from home,” She giggled as they entered the elevator.

“You wanna tell me why ya ran off? Though I don’t mind if you keep it a secret.”

“My dad introduced me to someone he wants me to consider marrying,” She groaned, pursing her lips and crossing her arms.

“...yikes…” Natsu let out a long whistle, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Is he old?”

“At least thirty,” She shivered. “I pretty much told him to go screw himself before I took off.”

“I’m really likin’ this side of ya,” Natsu snickered as they stopped on his floor, the pinkette leading her to his door.

“I should have decided to be more rebellious sooner,” She sighed as they stepped foot into his place. “I feel like I could have been having a lot more fun,”

“What kinda fun?” He asked, Lucy’s eyes looking over the luxurious apartment.

“I dunno, going out with my friends instead of studying, normal teenage things,” She shrugged. “This is a really nice place,”

“Thanks,” He chuckled. “C’mon, I’ll give ya some clothes, you go ahead and take a shower. I’ll make some tea to warm ya up, yeah?”

“Sure, that sounds nice.” She nodded with a smile.

Standing in Natsu’s shower, Lucy was surprised to see that he had feminine soap next to his own, as well as shampoo and conditioner.

“Oh yeah...I forgot Cana mentioned he sleeps around,” She hummed to herself, rubbing the peach and white tea scented soap against her scalp. “I guess this is where he entertains.”

Finishing up with her quick routine, Lucy stepped out in a fluffy white towel to look at what she had been given to wear.

It was one of his t-shirts, long enough to reach her knees, and a pair of lace panties she assumed belonged to someone else.

“Do you usually keep the underwear from whoever you sleep with?” Lucy asked as she walked back into the living room, scrunching her hair dry with the towel.

“They seem too expensive to toss out,” He said, pouring her a cup of tea as she sat down. “It works out both ways, I have clothes for guests, and it pisses off the clingy ones,”

“I see,” She said with a light laugh, taking a sip from her cup.

“Why? You interested in who I sleep with?” He asked with a smirk, leaning back against the opposite couch as he drank his own tea.

“Not really, I never thought about it until now,” She hummed, setting down her cup to brush her hair with out with the comb she brought out with her.

“You’re a real interestin’ girl, taichou,”

“We’re not at school, you can call me by my name,”

“How about Luce? I like givin’ out nicknames,”

“Sure, I like the sound of that,” She nodded, his smile contagiously pulling her lips wide.

It was silent for the next few moments, both idly sipping their tea, Natsu watching Lucy as she brushed out her hair.

“Is it too weird if I ask you to sleep with me?” Lucy said suddenly, making Natsu choke a bit on his tea.

“Uh, not weird, more like surprising,” He coughed to clear his throat. “I didn’t think you were the type to want a one-night stand,”

“I just want to do something fun,” She sighed, letting the comb run slowly through her hair. “I’m tired of doing what people expect from me,”

“I’m fine with being a part of your rebellious phase,” He complied, standing up from the couch. “But I have rules,”

“I’m not clingy,” She rolled her eyes with a scoff. “If that’s what you’re worried about,”

“Nah, it’s cuz we go to school together. The clingy ones work for my dad.” He snickered, taking her hand and leading her towards his bedroom. “Ya can flirt with me at school if ya want, but I don’t date,”

“Do you assume that every girl who sleeps with you wants to date you?” Lucy asked with a snort in her voice as he closed the door behind them.

“‘Course I do,” He snorted as well, shaking his head. “You’ll get it once we do it, Luce.”

“That’s pretty cocky of you to say.” Her pulse became quickened as he led her onto his mattress. “How do you know that you won’t want to date me afterwards?”

“If I do,” He said, kissing her cheek as he climbed onto the bed with her. “It’ll be because I decided to keep ya,”

“Girls aren’t pets, Natsu,” Lucy said, beginning to pant as he gingerly kissed the column of her neck.

“Yeah they are, the good ones at least,” He said as he experimentally dragged his tongue against her skin, delighted by the moan she let slip. “Are you a good girl, Luce?”

“Not tonight,” She panted as their eyes met under the moonlight threading in from the window that replaced the east wall.

“Fuck, that’s kinda sexy,” He mumbled, capturing her lips with his. She wasn’t inexperienced like he thought she would be, her kisses matching his fervor and blending well against them.

[captainillogical]

Distant Lands Ch.15

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

You’re floating.

Well, it seems like floating, for the most part, because you can’t really feel anything.

It's dark, and you can't see anything around you. You feel like you're drifting in your weightlessness, slowly, the warm, inky darkness all around is actually kind of calming.

You hear something.

It's a voice. Feminine, and familiar - you don't recognize it immediately. It's calling out to you, you think. You aren't really sure. You aren't really able to focus on it. 

Suddenly, there's light all around you and you're standing in a field you've never seen before. There's a single tree on a small hill about twenty feet in front of you, and you're surrounded by tall grass. 

Everything is.. pink. Huh. You're very confused.

"Wake up." You hear a voice say from behind you, distinct and clear as day.

You turn around, but there's nothing there. Just an endless field.

"Huh." You hear yourself saying out loud. 

You turn back around to the tree, and there's something large in front of you. You nearly scream from being startled, but manage to only make a tiny noise of surprise - muffling your mouth with your hand. 

A gentle, knowing chuckle erupts from the vaguely outlined pink figure in front of you.

"I didn't mean to startle you, I was only trying to get your attention." She says. You think you've heard this voice.. once or twice? You can't pinpoint it.

"Where am I?" You reply, feeling no threat from her.

"That isn't important."

"Why am I here? How am I here?" You ask, because these fields are endless, and you're having a hard time remembering what you were doing before this.

"You're here because someone desperately wanted you alive." The figure does not move.

"What does that mean?" You inquire, confused. “Am I dead?”

"It means you need to wake up. You have been here a while." The voice replies, a curious sway to it. It's so familiar, and yet you cannot grasp it.

"How do I wake up if I don't even know I'm asleep?" You look up to the head of the figure, outline blurry to your eyes.

"Like this, I think?" She giggles softly, tone almost.. motherly. 

"Like what?" You hear yourself say, and when you blink your eyes she's suddenly gone. 

There's no one in the field around you. 

There's just miles and miles of long, swaying grass as far as the eye can see.

You feel a pull in your stomach.

-

You wake up and open your eyes - immediately seeing there are several pairs of eyes peering down at you, gasps filling the room.

“You’re awake!” Steven shouts, tears in his eyes. “I was so terrified you weren’t going to wake up.”

You feel bile rising in your throat. You need to vomit.

You get up from your position on the couch, and you can see that you’re back in Steven’s living room. You shrug off Garnet’s hand on your arm, and ignore the protesting voices in the room to run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind yourself and locking it. 

Running to the sink, you hurl mostly saliva into the basin for a solid minute or two as you leave the water in the sink running. Your head is blank, as you’re mainly trying to get your insides to stop convulsing. You watch the water pour down the drain. Your hands are shaking. You cup some of the cold water in your hands and splash it on your face - it helps, a little. You grab the towel hung up on the rack beside you to dry your face, and when you open your eyes, the reflection staring back at you in the medicine cabinet makes your stomach drop.

You.. you’re pink.

Your face, your hair, your skin - all of it, is pink. 

The scream that comes out of you is pretty embarrassing, you won’t lie. There’s frantic knocking on the bathroom door.

“Y/N, are you okay!?” Steven yells out from beyond the thin door, and you can hear him rattle and shake the doorknob. Thank fuck you locked it.

“DO I LOOK OKAY?!” You scream back, frozen in place as you stare at your reflection.

“...can I come in?” You hear him reply in a rushed, worried tone.

“God no, I need some time.” You can’t stop looking at the mirror. It’s so strange. There’s a fairly large scar running from your forehead to down the side of your face near your hairline that you don’t remember having?

“I’ll be out here when you’re ready then, okay? We’re all here.”

“Huuuuuuuuurgh.” Is all you can reply, rubbing at your eyes and blinking, but your reflection doesn’t change. You’re not dreaming. You hear his footsteps walking away, and you turn the faucet off while you gather your thoughts.

You died. Somehow.

You’re having a hard time remembering how you died. It’s kind of too much to think about right now, if you’re honest with yourself. You’ll unpack that later.

You feel like there is something wrong with your brain. Everything’s a bit fuzzy. The reflection that stares back at you looks rather filthy, honestly, so you go over to the shower to turn the water on. Might as well keep your hands busy. 

You start to pull your shirt off when you realize you don’t have a change of clothes. What you’re wearing is torn to shreds and so dirty, but you don’t know why. What were you doing before?

Regardless, you walk back over to the door to unlock it, and open it just a crack.

“Steven, could you give me a change of clothes?” You half yell out into the other room, and close the door gently again in wait. You lean against the door and space out as you watch the bathroom fill with steam from the shower, the sound of running water the only thing your brain can focus on.

A minute or two later, there’s a knock on the door. You move from your leaning position to open the door a few inches, seeing Steven’s face there.

“Here.” He holds out a fresh pair of pants and a t-shirt that are nicely folded for you. Must’ve been Pearl. His eyes roam your face in concern, eyebrows furrowing. “Take your time. We can talk after this when you’re ready.”

“Thanks.” You reply, albeit a bit blankly. You feel like you’re a bit in a dissociative state that you’re unable to explain. You take the pile of clothes from his open palm.

“Do you want your cell phone?” He asks, pulling it out of his pocket to offer you. You nod, and take it from him.

“Appreciate it.” You say, and he watches your face for a brief second, eyes flickering between yours. And then he closes the door softly with a click.

You lock it.

You walk over to the sink, leaving your phone on the counter without a second thought. You place your clean clothes on the toilet lid, and take your clothes off, starting with your pants. They’re utterly filthy and torn in a few places, what the hell? You toss them over by the garbage can near the toilet. No point in keeping those.

You take off your shirt, and notice something weird.

There’s a.. scar on your stomach. It’s fairly large, but it’s healed. You don’t remember getting this at all. You’re so fucking confused right now. 

You refuse to put any more thought into it, as it would be counterproductive anyway. You take the rest of your underwear off, and toss everything into a pile by the garbage can. None of it is salvageable. What the fuck were you doing?

You pull the shower curtain back, letting a cloud of steam wash over you. You get in one foot at a time, the bottom of this tub is missing the grip mat for some reason and you’d prefer not to fall on your ass. Once you’re underneath the stream, your shoulders sag in relaxation as the hot water runs down your body. You feel like you haven’t taken a shower in ages.

You grab the shampoo, scrubbing your hair down and rinsing that out. You pour way too much conditioner into your hand and figure fuck it, and slather your hair in that. You stand there for a moment, watching suds wash down the drain in a swirl.

You space out for a while. You’re not sure how long.

You take your time rinsing your hair of the conditioner. You notice dirt underneath your fingernails, when you normally keep them pretty clean. What the hell. You move to grab the bar of soap on the little shelf on your left, but misjudge a footstep - you slip, hands knocking all the bottles down to the tub in a loud crash as you hit your head on the side of the tub.

“Y/N!? ARE YOU OKAY IN THERE?” You hear Amethyst shout from outside the door.

“Peachy!” You yell back monotonously, seeing stars and groaning. 

You sit up groaning, your head spinning. Hot water is pouring on you, running down your face and shoulders. 

Suddenly you remember the petrified look Spinel gave you before you kissed her and pushed her away, and you freeze. Your breathing picks up, and you slam a hand over your mouth as you feel yourself retch again.

Spinel.

Oh my god. Oh my god. 

You vomit again, violently this time. Nothing comes up, but your body convulses and makes you puke up bile, acid burning the inside of your throat. The hot water sprays down on you as you shake uncontrollably.

You remember everything. The gem eater, the tunnels, bleeding, dying. Spinel.

You’re back on Earth, and she isn’t here. You bite your tongue, holding back more retching that your body wants to torture you with.

You’re alive and off that fucking planet somehow, and Spinel isn’t here. 

With shaking hands, you finish washing your body as you try to keep your crumbling composure. You turn off the water, and grab for the towel next to you. You let your hands do the work on autopilot as you try to fend off the impending breakdown.

You put your clothes on, mind spinning with thoughts about how Spinel either thinks you’re dead, or worse, that you abandoned her there. You try not to cry thinking about it. You remember sitting at that tree, but everything after that is a bit fuzzy. It hurts to think about Spinel rushing back to you with what she thinks is life saving materials - just for you to be gone and nowhere to be found. Unless she saw the ship coming down? God that’s - that’s worse -  you think, her sprinting back to you desperately, and seeing the ship fly away.

She knows you wouldn’t leave her.

Right? 

You’re going back for her. That isn’t even a question. You’re terrified of what she’s even thinking about right now. You just hope you can easily convince the gems and Steven that everything that happened a month ago when she took you - it’s different, she’s different, and not a threat anymore. You towel dry your hair quickly, and once you put the towel back on the rack you can hear strained, hushed whispering beyond the bathroom door.

You hear your name being spoken, and quietly you walk over to the door to press your ear against it.

“ - but, she’s-”

“-Golgotha, Garnet! She was on GOLGOTHA. I’m ASTONISHED she lasted at all there considering she’s human and-” Pearl hisses out, and you can hear someone clanking pots and pans in the kitchen.

“What’s Golgotha!?” You hear Amethyst frustratedly huff out, and a ‘SSHHHH’ coming from Pearl. “You guys never tell me anything!”

“You don’t know because it was a colony that failed before you even existed, Amethyst!” 

“How did Spinel warp there?” You hear Garnet wonder out loud, concern in her voice. “I was pretty sure they stopped all possible travel to that place.”

Your eyes widen at the sound of Spinel’s name being spoken. They know who she is? They know Spinel!? Then maybe - 

“She had to have bypassed-”

“She wouldn’t have-”

“How did a colony FAIL?” Amethyst blurts out, cutting everyone off.

“Will you keep your voice down!?” Pearl hisses out angrily. “It failed because a bunch of gems disappeared, and resources went missing. They didn’t want to take any chances on a dying planet anyway so they packed up and left.” 

“Yellow forbade anyone from going back to it. She even went as far to turn off the warp pad access.” Garnet says quietly.

“None of that matters, guys. She’s home safe, and that’s what counts.” Steven speaks up from the kitchen. “I just.. don’t know how to approach her about-”

“Her dying?”

“Amethyst!” Pearl interjects, and you can hear the frustration in her voice.

“Yeah. I. I failed her. It should’ve been me guys. Then she wouldn’t have had to deal with Spinel, and she wouldn’t have-”

“Steven, we’ve been trying to tell you all day that it’s not your fault, buddy! Y/N knew what she was doing when she put herself in danger, you know how she is! Nothing would have convinced her otherwise!” Amethyst yells out at him.

“If only we were a little faster getting to her, ugh, I should’ve thought about our keychains sooner! Minutes could’ve changed everything!”

“It wouldn’t have changed the outcome.” Garnet says. “We got to her as fast as we could.”

“I’m surprised at how well she fought off Spinel, considering it took several hours to figure out where she was and to even get to her.” Pearl mentions offhandedly.

Your stomach drops.

What? Hours?

“She’s resilient. You taught her well.” 

What does she mean, hours? That literally makes no sense.

“She shouldn’t have been in that position in the first place. Spinel wouldn’t have been able to kill me anyway, and I could’ve talked her out of whatever she was feeling,” Steven hisses out angrily. “I don’t know where she was when we found Y/N and picked her up, or if she managed to poof her, but if I had seen her after the damaged she did to Y/N, I don’t know if I could’ve held back-”

Oh my god, they think Spinel tried to kill you. Your stomach fills with dread on top of the massive amounts of confusion you feel.

“Steven chill, she’s home and safe.” Amethyst says. “Hopefully this is the last gem that tries to-”

Unable to deal with any of this, you grab for the door handle, swinging the door open wide to stare at the gems standing in the living room. Steven’s in the kitchen with a pan in his hands. 

They’re all staring at you like they’ve just seen a ghost - minus Garnet, of course.

Steven almost drops his pan. “Y/N-”

“What do you mean it only took a couple hours for you to rescue me?” You say, voice as shaky as your sanity levels.

They all just stand there in silence, and you see Pearl’s wide eyes turn to Garnet and then trail back to you. The quietness around the living room is palpable.

“Y/N, I know this is a lot to take in..” Pearl stares at you like you’re about to keel over. 

“No, that literally makes no fucking sense.” You say, feeling yourself close to hyperventilation. “I get that I died.”

“You’ve been through a lot today dude, I think you should sit down and rest.” Even Amethyst looks concerned.

“I’m fine.” You stare at all of them. “How long did it take for you to come get me?”

“I know that space has no concept of day and night, but it hasn’t been that long.” Amethyst says bluntly. 

“You haven’t checked your phone, Y/N?” Steven asks, confused. “I know we’re normally faster than this, but it hasn’t been that long. Why are you so concerned with the time right now?”

“What?” You didn’t think of that. Ignoring the rest of what he said to quickly scramble for the phone you put into your jeans pocket. You open your lock screen, and what you see makes you drop your phone onto the ground with a clatter.

“Y/N?” You hear Steven say.

You’re frozen in shock. 

That makes no sense.

Somehow. Somehow - the date displayed on your lock screen is just a day after Spinel had taken you.

“Is this a prank?” You laugh, once, dryly. You pick your phone up off the ground. “This isn’t funny.”

Steven’s eyebrows furrow worryingly. “No, why would we-”

“Then why have only a couple hours passed? I was there for weeks.” You interrupt him.

They all look at you like you’ve grown another head.

“Y/N. You’ve been through a lot - I think something must’ve-”

“NO.” You yell out. You’re close to insanity. “STEVEN, WEEKS PASSED WHILE I WAS THERE.” 

Your voice echoes out all throughout the living room, bouncing off the walls as they all look at you like you’re absolutely nuts. Steven sets the pan down and walks over to you, but Garnet puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“I think you need to sleep, because you sound crazy right now.” Amethyst says.

“I’M NOT-” Your fingers dig into your scalp, you’re close to ripping your hair out in frustration. You’re not insane, you lived every singl- wait a second. Your scar. You quickly point to the scar Spinel gave you when she first arrived. “THIS! REMEMBER THIS? SPINEL HIT ME WITH HER SCYTHE? AND IT’S COMPLETELY HEALED NOW.”

“Er, since I revived you, it closed all your wounds.” Steven stares at you. “Are you su-”

“I,” Your face drops. They can’t not believe you. “My nails? They’re longer, and I-” You cut yourself off, feeling your brain stutter from overuse.

“Y/N.” Pearl says, and you look over to her perplexed face. “You say you were there for weeks? That does explain the condition you were in when we got to you, even if-.” 

“How did you survive for weeks!?” Amethyst interjects. “When we saw you earlier, Spinel had you by the THROAT.”

“Yeah she initially brought me there as bait to kill Steven, but she didn’t try to kill me.” You say as you try to control your breathing. 

“Hold on a second.” Pearl makes a pointed face and pulls a datapad out of her gem, typing on it rapidly.

“She didn’t try to kill you?” Steven rubs at his brow, confused. “Then why were you bleeding out when we found you?!”

“No, that’s what I’ve been trying to say, there was a whole fuckload of shit that went on that hell hole of a planet!!!” You spit out.

“She might be right, actually.” Pearl speaks up, quickly tapping on the glowing screen in front of her. She zooms into some kind of planetary chart from what you can see. “Golgotha has the trajectory to be running at a much faster time. The red giant it’s orbiting is-”

The rest of her words fall on deaf ears as your mind goes blank and you unintentionally freeze up. Spinel is still there. You feel like you’re about to unravel.

“I-I need to go back.” You choke out. “How long has it been since you picked me up?”

“Y/N, you’re insane if you think-”

“SHE’S STILL THERE, ALL ALONE, AND PROBABLY THINKS I’M DEAD.” You cry out. “CALL ME INSANE ALL YOU WANT BUT I’M NOT LEAVING HER THERE.”

“Y/N-” 

“If you won’t take me then I’ll steal Lars’ ship, and get there myself.” You stare at them.

Steven visibly deflates.

“Can we maybe talk about what happened to you first? You’re not-”

“Every minute I waste here is hours for her.” You cut him off. “How long was I out exactly? How long has it been since you rescued me?

“You were out for several hours, since this afternoon..” Pearl says. You bite the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 

“Great, so it’s been weeks for her already.” You nod your head, feeling a couple tears roll down your cheek. You wipe them away quickly. “Let’s go. I’ll tell you guys what I’ve been doing all this time on the way.”

“But-”

You turn to look at Steven, and his eyes meet yours. You think he can read your expressions enough by now to know the state of your emotions.

“Do you trust me?” You ask him. His eyes wavering between yours, a silent understanding passes.

He gives you a curt nod.

“Let’s go.”

-

Once you get onto Pink’s ship, Pearl reroutes the coordinates back to the planet you just came from. By the time you get there, it will be over a month and a half since Spinel’s seen you.

You try not to think about the possibilities of what she’s doing without you. You are so anxious that the nausea in the pit of your stomach constantly threatens to make you hurl. 

Steven has been watching you for a while now, and he holds out one of his hands. You try not to cry when you see his open palm, and you take it. It used to be something you did when he was in distress, and now he’s doing it for you. It gives you brief amounts of comfort. You love him dearly.

“So, let’s just start from the beginning.” Steven clears his throat. “When we last saw you, you were taken.”

“Yeah.” You focus your eyes on the floor, and try to steady out your breathing. If it weren’t for Steven holding your hand, you’d be pacing right now. “As I said, she really only wanted me as bait. And even that didn’t really last long, considering I think I screamed at her enough for her to want to get rid of me.. You called that planet Golgotha, right?”

“That’s correct.” Pearl speaks up. “It was one of Yellow’s old colonies.”

“Yeah, I know.” You say.

“You knew? How?” Pearl replies, perplexed. 

“I’ll get to that in a minute. Anyway,” You take a breath. “Golgotha sucks, it’s hot as shit there and it took me a while to find food, even. I hated Spinel, at first. She wasn’t helpful, and honestly I wanted her dead after what she tried doing to Steven.” You feel Steven squeeze your hand. “But we came to a truce eventually, to try to get off the planet after she destroyed the warp pad. And then I learned of her past, and well, things went a little differently after that.”

You look up from staring at the floor, and Pearl gives you a face.

“Spinel was made to be Pink’s best friend.” You hear the concern in her voice. “When I knew her, she was completely different.”

“Yeah, and Pink left her in a garden for six thousand years, Pearl. Anyone would have issues after that.” They all look at you like they’re not the least bit surprised.

“Mom left her for six thousand years?” Steven looks at you, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. “No wonder you’ve been this distraught about leaving her.”

“And I haven’t even told you the rest.” You sigh. “We found a Spire, and the kindergarten there that the gems abandoned. It was.. so fucked up.”

“What do you mean?” Amethyst implores, crossing her arms over her chest. “Didn’t they just leave it?”

“Do you guys know exactly of what happened on Golgotha?” You turn to face Pearl.

“Other than it being a failed colony? No. The data extracted from them was incomplete.” She says, putting a thumb to her lip in consideration.

“Then it’s just Spinel and I who really know what went on.” 

“What do you mean?” Steven asks, rubbing your hand with his thumb. You find his touch very comforting.

“It was a failed colony because of the gem eater.” You say, and all of them look at you apprehensively besides Garnet. Her face is almost comically blank.

“What..” Pearl squints at you as she trails off, face brimming with questions. 

“So, hold on, let me make this clear.” You cough into your hand, clearing your throat. “Considering everything I’ve been through the last day, I’ve got the full picture. I don’t know how, but where they placed the kindergarten, there was a.. being already there.”

“A being?” Amethyst interrupts.

“I don’t know how to describe that thing, because I don’t know what it looked like prior to it draining all the injectors of the diamond’s essence to consume.”

“It WHAT?” Pearl drops her hand from her mouth in shock. “How could it-”

“I don’t know, honestly. All I know is that between what Spinel and I witnessed, and the incomplete data logs inside the Spire, that’s what I pieced together. Anyway. We learned that over a hundred gems went missing, and we also found multiple tunnels that all ended up being connected to the kindergarten, where this thing lived.” 

“Of all planets she could’ve taken you, she had to take you to that one?” Amethyst comments, adjusting her stance. 

“You’re telling me. That was a source of many of mine and Spinel’s arguments.” 

“It sounds like you two became friends.” Garnet speaks up, and for some reason you get the feeling she can see right through you. You swallow all thoughts of potential implications.

“Something like that.” You ignore the way saying that makes you feel strange. “I think if it wasn’t for her, I probably would have died on that planet. Even if she was the one to bring me there in the first place, she still.. Anyway. I fell into one of those tunnels, where she eventually found me. We tried finding our way out, but instead ended up in it’s fucking lair. The gem eater had some kind of pheromone I’m guessing, because it smelt like shit and affected Spinel really weirdly. Makes sense that it lured all those gems into their death. I basically had to fight the thing off myself, because it wanted Spinel so badly.”

“Is that how you got that wound when we found you?” Amethyst asks, pointing at your stomach.

“Yeah.” You reply, placing your other hand that’s not holding Steven’s on your stomach as if you can still feel the gaping wound still. You had no time to really deal with any of that, and honestly, the current state of your psyche can’t really unpack it anyway. Dying? Ayy no problem.

“If Spinel wasn’t the one to hurt you, why was she nowhere near you when we came to pick you up?” Steven looks over to you, confusion in his eyes.

“I had her set me down so she could go grab supplies for me to do a rough patch job on my injury. As I said.. we were there for a couple weeks. I didn’t know if you guys were even coming for me, at that point.. I just didn’t want to die there.” You trail off. Steven’s still looking at you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry that it ended up that way, and that you had to go through that. We’re glad you’re still with us.” Garnet speaks up from the side, tone apologetic.

“I wouldn’t have been alive if it weren’t for Spinel.” 

“You wouldn’t have been in harm’s way if it weren’t for me.” Steven says, looking guilty. You tug on his hand to look at you.

“I would do it all over again so you’d never have to experience what I did.” You look him in the eyes, pleading for him to understand this.

“Y/N..”

“Besides, it wasn’t all that bad. I gained a new friend.” You give him a small, wry smile, but your heart isn’t in it. You’re dreadfully terrified of what happens when you get back to Golgotha.

“When all of this is said and done, I’d like to talk more with you on what you experienced.” Pearl taps on the console in front of her, entering a few commands that you don’t care to pay attention to. “I’d like some clarity on a few things.”

“Yeah, just let me sleep for a week.” You reply, and Amethyst snorts.

“Ah, good ‘ol Y/N is back to her old habits pronto.” She puts her hands behind her head in a show of ease.

“Hey, I deserve it. You sleep on leaf piles and musty tarps for a month, and see how you feel about it.” You squint your eyes at her, and she laughs.

“We’ll be on the surface in less than an hour.” Pearl taps the screen a couple more times. “Where would you like us to land?”

You think you could spend a while wondering where Spinel could be on the surface. But you know her better than that by now.

“As close to the Spire as possible.” You hear yourself say.

-

Once the ship lands on the planet and the doors swoosh open, you breathe in the air of the jungle you didn’t miss whatsoever. It’s night, and the cold has already set in making your breath appear in front of you. The four of them - the gems and Steven, step out with you. The Spire’s about a mile away, as this is the closest clearing to it that she ship could land on.

You turn to them.

“I was wondering if I could go alone, actually.” You say to them, hesitantly.

“Why? What if something happens to you? We need to-” Pearl stops as Steven puts his hand up, cutting her off.

“Can I talk to you? Just for a second.” He says, grabbing you by the elbow and leading you gently about two dozen feet away from the others. You can see the worry in his eyes. 

“What?” You ask. “I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“I know, I’m just worried..” His tone implies a lot of concern, and honestly you don’t know what you’d do without his presence in your life. He’s irreplaceable. “What I saw with her..”

“I need you to trust my judgement, Steven. You of all people know that everyone deserves a chance to improve, to be better.” You give him a look, and his eyes waver between yours.

“I do trust you, it’s just.. I just got you back.”

“I’ll be fine. The only threat that was on this planet is already dead. And I.. I made a promise to her.” You sigh and grab his hand, staring at his palm on yours. “I’ll be back before you know it. Keep the ship warm for me.”

He shares a look with you for several long seconds, and then nods.

“Be safe.”

-

You’re not going to lie when you say that once you got out of view of them and into the line of trees, you started to break out into a sprint, and kept running all the way to the Spire with minimal breathing breaks. It takes you probably only a little over five minutes to get there, and you’re out of breath by the time you get to the doors. 

It’s a little alarming to see that the Spire doors aren’t even there. They’re ripped off completely, actually. You are scared and anxious of what you’ll find inside.

You step inside, and it’s pretty dark. There are leaves strewn everywhere, but nothing else looks out of place. 

Spinel isn’t here.

You look to the staircase, finding it intact. Your legs work on autopilot, walking up every floor like you’ve done many times before, and this is no different. Passing by the level with the supplies you had told her to grab, you’re seeing several crates are smashed open.

You hope your gut feeling is right. It hasn’t failed you yet.

The closer to the top, the more nervous you get. What if she isn’t there? Where else could she go? She couldn’t have gone back down into the tunnels - that would make little sense. Two floors to go. You feel your hands start to shake in quiet fear.

You haven’t had a lot of time to think about any of the ‘what if’s’. You’ve been consumed mainly with thoughts of getting back to her. You reach the floor underneath the top one, and before you get to the other staircase, you can hear the wind much more loudly than before. Getting closer to it, and taking a couple steps up - you realize that the entire top of the rest of this Spire is blown off. Or torn off.

Two steps. Three steps. You swallow nervously. You can’t seem to steady your erratic breathing. You can see the moons glowing against the stone of the Spire. Reaching the top of the stairs, you misstep and trip on the top edge of the stair - falling to your knee and catching yourself with your hand.

You hear movement ten feet in front of you, and you look up, frozen in place.

Your eyes meet Spinel’s.

“..you’re alive?” The voice you want to hear most says, and she looks at you like you’re the last person she expected to see.

[feminist-propaganda]

Single Mothers Will Probably Cry During Every Episode Of  Queen’s Gambit - Episode 1

I’ll start this long piece with a quote by Toni Morrisson. She once said : “If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”

After watching Queen’s Gambit yesterday I rushed to the Internet to see if someone had written all of the things I am about to write, all of the symbols I saw in the miniseries, all of the dog whistles, the references.  I found articles about chess. About how the community had adopted the film, about which grandmasters the characters were based off of, about chess moves and theories, about production and the unexpected success of the series.

According to me, this is quite mediocre commentary. I eventually clicked on the New Yorker article that seemed to be a tiny bit smarter. After a couple of paragraphs I realized that the male writer was only going to rant about how the actress is “too pretty” to be Beth Harmon, and this seems to upset him. A lot.

But no one talked about Beth’s mother. Or the name of the series. Or the embroidery. The chess board. The tranquilizers. The math. The flashbacks. The exchange of queens. The sacrifice of the queen. Did no one see it? Or is it again one of those things; where the world is so obsessed with single mothers and representing them as huge, massive, quite literal train wrecks, but no one actually wants to look at them in the eye, talk to them, help them?

Let me tell you, as a single mother, this miniseries had me in tears the whole time. It’s really difficult to watch. It’s downright triggering.

Single mothers like to keep their silence. That’s because we know the world doesn’t like it when we start talking. It hurts. A lot. So instead, the world likes to make memes about how single moms are whores, how they are drunks or over worked. How they’re psychotic. How they ramble. They don’t make any sense. Bipolar. Crazy. How their children stare at the television all day, the way they microwave bad food. We laugh at them, and use them as comical relief in our ... what exactly? Cultural objects. Then we move on. We send a message to single mothers when we do this, and the message is important. You suck. Shut Up. Don’t exist. It’s your fault. 

We make an entire mini series about a single mother who killed herself to save her kid, we put on the television images that hurt and harm single mothers and then the public responds with nothing. They don’t even bat an eyelash. Miss the point entirely. Great series about chess! Except it’s not about chess. Not at all. It’s about raising children alone, when the world hates you. It’s about a trailer. In the middle of nowhere. A strong willed woman who was a mathematician in the 1940s. Who taught her daughter everything she could. Realized she couldn’t do more. And made the ultimate sacrifice, the queen’s gambit. The riskiest, most reckless, bravest move of all.

So let me tell you about what it’s like to watch Queen’s Gambit when you’re a single mother. So that somewhere in the AI, it’s written. So that when our great grand children will try to understand our times, they’ll read it.

I’ll write an essay for each episode. And in each essay I will review the important lession that Alice passed on to young Beth, and how this takes her to Moscow, where she can live a much more fulfilling life than in the U.S.A.

Lesson 1 : Find A Two Dimensional Algebric Plane. Study It. Control It.

I recently learned from instagram user @itllbeokbaby and Amsterdam based artist and weaver Liza Prins that the words textile and text have the same origin as the word texture. 

Text derives from the Latin textus (a tissue), which is in turn derived from texere (to weave). It belongs to a field of associated linguistic values that includes weaving, that which is woven, spinning, and that which is spun, indeed even web and webbing. Textus entered European vernaculars through Old French, where it appears as texte and where it assumes its important relation with tissu (a tissue or fabric) and tisser (to weave).

Women have been weaving, beading, sowing and stitching since the dawn of times. We also know that women used this technology not just to create clothes, tents or shoes. They used it as a container of information. As cultural DNA. 

In South America, in places where writing as we know of it was never created, women would bead important tribal information into skirts. They would then use the skirts as a database of the tribe. To track births, deaths, epidemics, droughts and other important group defining events.

In modern times, women still use embroidery as a means of expression. My memories from childhood contain strong images of my aunts and grandmothers, sewing my name and date of birth onto pillow cases, bathrobes and bedcovers. They would do this by the pool, at the bottom of the ski slopes, on the beach or in the train. They would engage into conversation as they embroidered; as this activity required some concentration, but not their full attention. It was their way of being present; but also transcending into the past and projecting into the future. They sewed our lives into the cloth.

I once heard my grandmother counting the holes in the cloth she was decorating with her beautiful colours. I asked what she was doing. She said that to build the letters on the cloth, you needed to count the squares. Two to the top, four to the right, ten to the middle, etc etc. I was quite mesmerized. I was maybe eight at the time, the same age as Beth when she loses her mother. I had started learning some math in school but somehow the math in school seemed to be presented to me as the epitome of something quite different than this excruciatingly feminine passtime. 

Math was presented to me as masculine, out of reach to us girls. And now I was disovering that these women in my family were geometry experts, fluent in linear algebra, and that at a higher level, they were database account managers.

In the first episode of the miniseries, in the first couple of minutes; we discover two Beths. The first Beth is in Paris, the beautiful, the chic; the glamourous Paris. Paris will always be the undisputed capital of Fashion. 

Paris is the undisputed capital of fashion not because it is the home of polluting massive textile industries like the ones in Pakistan or Zara’s empire in Spain. Paris is the capital of fashion because it is the capital of Haute Couture. And Haute Couture is custom made, sowed by hand, piece by piece, bead by bead, sequin per sequin. It is delicate. It is slow. It is sacred. It is what my aunt’s did. 

It is the opposite of industrial, the opposite of a sewing machine, the opposite of an engine. The opposite of yield failures, punching in and punching out. It is lace. Delicate, personal, eternal.

The second Beth we see is the eight year old Beth, that has just lost her mother. She stands on a bridge. Two cars have crashed into one another. And she stares on at the police officers. One says “Not a scratch on her. It’s a miracle”. The other says “I doubt she’ll see it like that”. 

My theory is that the miniseries explain how Beth eventually begins to “see it like that”. 

The first time we see 8 year old Beth she is wearing a dress, with her name embroidered on it. It reads Beth, in pink. Feminine. Purple flowers surround it. The embroidery is delicate. It’s on her heart. 

We follow eight year old Beth as she gets sent to an orphanage. In the first couple of scenes at the orphanage, we think, for a minute, that maybe Beth will be okay here. The head mistress smiles, has nice hair. Shows her around. Yes, the bed is by the lavatory, but at least she has a bed, a roof over her head.

We only start despising this new mother figure when she takes Beth to choose new clothes. Beth takes off her dress, and stares at her name, written on the front. The headmistress selects a white shirt and grey dress for Beth. She hands to her these new items, symbol of her new life, of her integration within the orphanage and later mainstream society. The headmistress then grabs the dress with the name embroidered and looks at it with disgust. Then, she says “I think we’ll burn this one” and disapears.

Beth then understands that she is no longer allowed to love her mother. That to fit in this school, this orphanage, to survive, she must let go of the embroidery and all of the things she associates with her mother. Her mother, in the words of the teacher was a “victim” of “a carefree life”. A free spirited whore, a lesbian, a witch. There’s a lot of words we liek to use to describe women who don’t conform. And Beth’s mother, as we learn, never conformed.

At night, Beth sees her mother’s eyes, she hears the last words her mother uttered before dying in the car crash. “Close your eyes”. She said it with tears in her eyes and an air of great determination. She knew what she was doing, which is something Beth doesn’t want to tell anyone. Not even her new friend Jolene. Beth’s secret is her mother wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t crazy at all.

Then, Beth discovers the board. One day, she gets sent to the basement and sees the janitor playing chess. Later in the miniseries, Beth tells the journalist from Life it was the board that attracted her. Not the pieces.

As the first episode unfolds, Beth learns that the squares have names. She learns the names. And at night when she looks up at the ceiling she sees the board. She visualizes the pieces moving on the 64 squares. She moves them in her mind and imagines all of the alternatives. What the board would look like if she moved this piece to that square. What would her opponent do then? 

To the journalist of the Life magazine, Beth says that the Chess board was a universe of 64 squares, and that she could control this space. All she had to do was study it.

The board is much like the cloth that Beth’s mother Alice would sew information onto when she was a young child. You count the squares and move your material through it. As you go, you make shapes, patterns, motifs. Beth looks up at the ceiling at night and the first night, without the tranquilizers, she sees her mother say “Close your eyes” which is too painful or such a young child. A young child doesn’t understand yet why a mother would say “Close your eyes” and then crash on purpose into a truck. A young child doesn’t know about the world yet.

Alice aknowledged that she was about to do something extremely risky, that the outcome was uncertain. Alice told Beth that she was going to purposely provoke the car crash. 

But when Beth takes the tranquilizers at night, and now that she knows about chess, she can transfer her love for her mother into her growing obsession with Chess. She looks up at the ceiling and instead of seeing Alice’s last thoughts, she sees the Chess board. Which is the small piece of universe that Alice controlled, when she was alive. The cloth that she sewed her daughter’s name on: “So that you’ll always remember who you are”.

[originalhybridloverfics]

Ch 2 Is Love Worth The Pain

Summary: Oliver meets a pretty blonde and is immediately enamored.

A/N: Sorry, I took a small break from writing. I've been caught up watching a new show. Sen Cal Kapimi. It's amazing and I'm hooked on the leads but enough about my new viewing obsession. I hope you like the chapter.

Oliver walked into the local coffee shop, his eyes taking in the occupants. There was an old couple in the back, a table of geeks near the counter more than one couple by the windows. His eyes caught sight of two leggy brunette’s sitting on a couch in the center.

Bingo. He walked forward just as the two girls looked over at him, their lips pulling into wide smiles at the sight of him.

He sent them his Oliver 'Ollie' Queen playboy smile, every intention of joining them with the intention of talking them into going home with him.

He had made it a habit of finding local coffee shops not far from campus to meet college girls and offer them a fun time. It was a great spot to pick up girls who wanted to have some fun.

He was almost at their side, when suddenly his skin felt hot, scolding hot. The laptop he carried clattered to the floor as he let out a surprise shout of pain.

“Oh, my god, I’m sorry.” The feminine voice that belongs to the person who bumped into him and spilled hot coffee all over him, exclaimed.

Annoyance flared in his chest as he looked down at his soaked shirt. “Maybe you should-”

He stopped, the words dying on his lips.

God, she was so fucking pretty.

Cream-colored skin, luminous blue eyes, long blonde hair with pink streaks, red-painted lips.

“I’m sorry,” the girl was saying as she reached over a table, grabbing a handful of napkins, wiping at his soaked shirt, her hands moved all over his chest and torso. “Please, tell me I didn’t hurt you. Wow. You have really hard abs.”

Oliver laughed in surprise. “Thank you and no you didn’t hurt me,” he looked down at his fallen laptop. “Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for my computer.”

“What?” Felicity looked down and her eyes widen in horror. “Oh, you poor, baby!”

Oliver watched as she knelt down, getting a brief view down her green tank top. When she stood back up, the girl held his laptop to her chest, apologetically. He couldn't help but look her over.

She wasn’t his usual type. She wasn’t a brunette, she didn’t have an ample chest or long legs. Still, she was the prettiest girl he laid eyes on, she was short but curvy and the black jeans she wore did amazing things for her legs.

“I never meant to hurt you,” the girl said in the sincerest tone he ever heard.

“You didn’t.” Oliver was quick to reassure her.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Felicity’s eyes widened, realizing how rude that came out. “Not that I wouldn’t talk to you because, I mean, you're hot and you have what felt like really amazing abs underneath your shirt,” her cheeks reddened. “Oh, my god, someone please shut me up before I embarrass myself further.”

“I rather like the sound of your voice,” Oliver grinned. “And hearing about your admiration for my body.”

“I really am sorry.” Felicity apologized, choosing to ignore her awkward babble. She opened his laptop to find the screen wasn't cracked, still, it was sticky with coffee and sugar. “Oh, I am so sorry.”

Oliver had a feeling she was apologizing for more to his broken laptop than him but he was never one to miss a good opportunity. “We can forget all about it if you make it up to me.”

Felicity’s eyes shot to his, suspicion clear as day shining in them. “Make it up to you how?”

“Go out with me?” Oliver said,  

“I don’t go out with guys I don’t know,” Felicity told him. ‘

“Then get to know me,” Oliver countered.

“And why would I want to do that?” Felicity arched an eyebrow at him.

“Because I could be a really great guy.”

“Are you?” Felicity asked.

“How about you tell me after getting to know me,” Oliver suggested.

Felicity gave a small laugh. “You don’t give up, do you?”

“Not when I want something.” Oliver flashed her an easy grin but he could see that she was still hesitant. “Okay, how about I replace the cup of coffee you just spilled and we talk.”

Felicity nodded, slowly. “Okay, on one condition though, you let me fix your laptop? It’s killing me that I injured your poor baby.”

“The poor baby being my laptop?” Oliver asked amused.

“Obviously,” she ran her hand reverently over the laptop.

Oliver’s grinned widen. She was so cute.

                                                ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver sat across from the blonde, watching as she worked on his computer though he wasn't sure how she was going to fix the fact that she spilled hot liquids on his laptop. He was lucky the screen didn't crack when he dropped it.

She was so focused and the way she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth had all his attention.

He wanted to kiss her, to feel her lips moving with his.

His eyes moved over her, taking advantage of her distraction. The way her green tank top fit her torso, it drew his eyes, and the way her jeans fit her was so fucking distracting but those damn luminous eyes of hers were going to steal his soul.  

Beautiful. Everything about her that he could see was beautiful.

“Are you going to tell me your name?” Oliver asked after a moment.

The girl looked up at him. “I didn’t give it to you already?”

“No,” Oliver shook his head. “You seemed to be more concerned with my laptop.”

“Oh, well, it’s Felicity.” she reached for her coffee cup but then remembered it was empty. “Felicity Smoak.”  

“Oliver Queen.” He returned.

“I know who you are, well, I know of you,” Felicity said. “Kind of hard not to, I started working at QC just a few months ago and the media has an obsession with you and your family.”

Oliver winced, feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment about how the media portrayed him. “I’m not really like how I appear on tv coverage or magazines?”

“No?” Felicity arched a brow at him. “You didn’t pee on a cop car or punch out a reporter or have awful serial killer hair at one point?”

“Okay, yes, I did do those things- hey, did you just imply, I looked bad?” Oliver asked, tilting his head at her.

“Caught that did you?” Felicity smirked. “Just so we’re clear the Serial killer look was not a good look for you.”

“And what about how I look now?” Oliver asked.

“You're pleasing to the eyes but you don’t need me to tell you that,” Felicity replied. “You know how attractive you are.”

Oliver nodded his head in agreement. “But it never hurts coming from someone as beautiful as you.”

“Smooth,” Felicity replied, returning her focus back to his laptop and the task at hand.

“What do you do at QC?” Oliver asked, wanting to keep her talking, not caring if he was distracting her from fixing his laptop.

“I work in the IT department,” Felicity answered.

“Oh, so you do this kind of thing for a living?” Oliver motioned to his laptop.

“You could say that.” Felicity nodded. “I like it,”

“You must be really smart then, right?” Oliver wondered.

That was an understatement. Felicity sent him a smile in response.

Oliver wanted to learn more about her. So much more. That one smile had him wanting to know everything there was to know. “Let me take you out to dinner?”

Felicity closed his laptop and slid it back over to him. “I’ll admit your charming and hot but I’m not your type and I’m not looking to have my heart broken by some guy whose been with more women than he can even remember. No offense.”

Oliver was so surprised by her words he couldn’t formulate a response before she was walking away from him. By the time he recovers and ran out of the cafe door to catch up with her, she was already gone from sight.

He frowned and went back for his laptop, he settled back in his seat and opened the laptop to find to his surprise, his laptop was still working even though the hot liquid should have fried its system.

“Hi,”

Oliver looked up to see the two women before staring at him with flirty expressions.

“Can we join you?”

Oliver frowned. Before he would have said yes in a heartbeat but now, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to talk to them.

The two girls took his silence for a yes, taking a seat on either side of him. He forced a smile, reluctantly accepting their advances, his mind however was still stuck on the charming blonde he just met.

Felicity Smoak.

                                                    ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver tried to return to his usual pick up spots and go about his life like he always had, partying, making a scandal of himself for the cameras, and bedding any hot girl he wanted because why the hell not.

He was young, he was ridiculously good looking, he was rich. The world was his Oyster.

However, that didn’t stop him from subconsciously looking for Felicity in every blonde he saw. Comparing leggy model types to her small, curvy figure. Or looking for luminous blue eyes that can look inside him. Or lips that demanded his attention. Looking for someone who was the perfect blend of awkward, cute, and alluring when she talked.

He slept with women but it wasn’t as satisfying as it once was.

Was it possible to be so entranced by someone that they could change your outlook in just one meeting?

Was it possible for one person to turn your life on its head without even trying?

How could one stranger have such an impact on another person’s life?

After another night of not being able to stop thinking about Felicity, Oliver excused himself and called it a night.

He returned home. He paused at the foot of the stairs when he heard the tv in the viewing room going. He changed directions and found his little sister on the couch, eating popcorn, and watching some sitcom.

“Hey, Speedy,” Oliver greeted, walking forward. “What are you still doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Thea shrugged. “You're home early.”

“It’s after midnight, that's not that late,” Oliver correctly.

“I meant early for you.” Thea rolled her eyes. “Raisa says you usually don’t turn in till morning when your out with Tommy.”

Raisa wasn’t wrong but he just was not in the mood to pick up random girls or spend the entire night getting drunk. “I felt like calling it a night.”

“Do you want to watch tv with me?” Thea asked, patting the seat next to her.

Oliver moved and took a seat next to her, reaching in the bowl on her lap for a handful of popcorn. “What are we watching?”

“How I Met Your Mother but I’m starting to think it should be called How I Met Your Aunt Robin,” Thea said, her tone indicating her annoyance.

“Tell me about it,” Oliver said, leaning back against the cushions, propping his feet on the table.

“Okay, so the character Ted is supposed to be telling the story about how he met the mother of his children but instead…”

Oliver allowed the sound of his sister’s voice, and the television playing in front of him to distract him from his thoughts of a blonde with pink high lights, gorgeous blue eyes, a mouth that had no filter, and a tight little body that he couldn’t stop thinking about.

Tags: @mariestark

I can’t remember who all wanted to be tagged for this so just remind and I will add to my tag notes so I won’t forget next time. 

[iimuchakk]

Seven seas babies AU - The Journey

Hinahoho’s babies xxx

The five little beans and their father are so excited to go back to Sindria to see Kikiriku and the other’s it’s not even funny

If it wasn’t for all the commotion Hinahoho could of sworn he saw Ahanu smile...

Catori is already getting together her favorite clothes and weapons, whilst Aponi’s already packed

She’s desperate to get a tan

poor babies so pale

Of course Bodaway and Badzill are super duper excited!

People back in Sindria aren't use to their pranks and mischief

they’re pretty sure big bro Ja’far will appreciate the break from work to deal with them

unless he decides the break from work grants him permission to break their necks

wouldn’t be surprising

Turns out, Hinahoho didn’t realize how hard it was going to be keeping himself and five children all together on one ship despite its gigantic size

“Give me back my hair brush Catori!” 

“No Aponi this is mine!”

“DADDY!”

Too much drama for the poor Imuchakk man!

The twin boys are no better

Every second he looks away he has a new note attached to his back

At least Ahanu is being calm at least

Actually, where is Ahanu?

“OH MY SOLOMON STOP WRESTLING SHARKS!”

He’s pretty sure if Rurumu was alive they’d be to scared to pull this crap

How long is the journey over seas again?

A few months?

oh great.

how fun.

Meanwhile, Kikiriku just drinks all the alcohol he can get his hands on

Knowing family time is not always fun time

but annoying time

Ja’far’s babies xxx

Rabi has never looked so hyperactive

and that’s bad

because he is usually hyperactive anyways

has only ever met Hinahoho’s family once when they were very young

not including Kikiriku, who he is rather close with

and that’s about it

Ja’far is just as excited but shows it in smaller doses 

he’s told Rabi a bit about his old friends

though most of Rabi’s information comes from uncle sin and Drakon, who are less busy then his dad

Ja’far has to actually organize everyone's arrivals and their journeys through letter’s and magic circles, so it’s no surprise he’s tired

“No need to threat dad. I’m sure some magic trick’s will cheer you up!”

They don’t

they really don’t Rabi

So Rabi moves on

Trying to decide what color looks best on him since he’s pretty sure ginger hair is hard to match with

decide’s to go with pink, he feels it brings out his eyes

Sinbad applaud’s him on his extravagant choice

Kikiriku, Spyro and Sadiq don’t want to break his little heart and tell him he looks terrible so they just...smile(?)

Ja’far and wife-co decide an awkward thumbs up is probably best in this situation

At least the other’s arriving are all excepting...

Sinbad’s babies xxx

Does not care

Sadiq has no interest with meeting these people

From the stories he’s been hearing they’re all

tiny, flat chested

over grown

cocky, big headed

spineless, overly religious

boring, emotionless

crazy wizard people!

He already has enough of that with Rabi

boi needs no more of that craziness in his life

Sinbad’s been trying to get him excited

offering him Sharrkan’s guidance as a sword fighting teacher because -

“Your foot work really need’s work. Perhaps when you learn to control yourself better in battle, you can be as good as me~?”

g l a r e

nothing else really changes

goes about his day as usual

mentally curses the fact his dad is more clingy then usual

spends a lot of him time in the garden hiding in the bushes whilst everyone else’s happily awaits the arrival of the others

angrily chews on some near by leaves

Where’s Spyro when you need him?

Drakon’s babies xxx

Is really scared about meeting everyone

His parents speak really fondly of the old generals, and he’s worried his appearance might scare them

Tries to find something nice to wear that hide’s most of him away whilst still looking approachable

Saher laughs at him

points to Drakon

“If they can put up with his face then your looks will be easy to cope with.”

“Jee thanks mom.”

If you couldn’t tell that was sarcastic

Spyro also wants to show of a little

just a little...

and decides to make the training ground look nice and civilized so he can invite someone back to spar with

wants to show everyone he’s strong

since it’s the only quality he really like’s about himself

Is dragged to Rabi’s room to watch the boy practically cat walk his outfits

“Yes Rabi you look beautiful. CanIPleaseLeave?”

Can’t find Sadiq anywhere and is very worried

Until Kikiriku tell’s him he saw him chewing on plants that he’s fine

Spartos babies xxx

Very casual journey

wifu stays at home to keep everything in order

Spartos is practically pining after her as soon as the boat leaves the harbor

Elizabeth and Junior have never been more ashamed of their father’s pathetic display of sniveling affection. 

He’s smitten.

“Why is he so insistent about wanting to hold her...?”

“Because Liz, he was a virgin so long before he met her it probably feels weird to know he’s going to have to wait at least a year before any more shenanigans.”

“THATS NOT TRUE I JUST REALLY LOVE YOUR MOTHER “ ;((((

Whole way there is basically cheering up Spartos instead of enjoying the journey to Sindria

Elizabeth will sing for her father from time to time and brings him food, and Spartos appreciates that she tries

Junior’s attempts are less subtle...

Tries to get his dad to do stupid thing’s to get his mind off his mother like:

A: Will dad appreciate rain dancing on a boat? Possibly causing a storm

B: Fishing in shark infested waters?

C: Drowning themselves so they don’t have to deal with his whining?

Junior is very excited to meet the people in his dad’s past life

really wants to spar with someone

oh please say someone wants to spar

Elizabeth is less excited, more curious then anything.

Shes desperate to meet the king of Sindria

Not for him himself, but rather his jewelry

Masrur’s babies xxx

Wives Razol and Rehema decided they don’t want to go

For them it’s basically a holiday

Masrur has the kids with him for a month or two whilst they get to do whatever they like?

See you Masrur

Have fun~

Sadi’s only ever met Ja’far and Sinbad

likes them a lot

would appreciate it if they would arm wrestle with her

how else would she prove shes better?

Very keen to show off

In-fact Masrur want’s her too

Something about showing two people swords and magic suck compared to the fanalis race? Whatever that means.

Angelou kind of just shrugs

He’s a lot like his dad after all

You think meeting some strangers is gonna excite him? Nah

Poor Angelou just wants to rest

Knows it’s basically going to be him baby sitting Ruby

His little sister is defiantly going to be trying to prove herself?

Ever seen a fanalis punch someone in the face?!

Yes?

Ever had a fanalis punch you in the face?!

No?

Stand still!!

Masrur should probably warn the generals about her...

And Dominic. Well Dominic’s just worried

Dosent want to let his father down

He’s in touch with his feminine side

Nervous that the generals will make fun of Masrur for it

Thinking of ways to make himself seem more manly

Sharrkans babies xxx

There is no easy way to put this

Ozymandias is a little brat

On the ship he’s constantly crying

Defiantly not a sea baby

It’s okay though

Sharrkan just loves listening to crying babies when HES TRYING TO SLEEP ITS GREAT HONESTLY HES SO NOT DYING INSIDE

Always checking constantly to make sure Ozymandias isn’t sick

He remembers when his mother grew ill and Ozymandias’ mother

He can’t let that happen

Every time he walks into a room his son throws a toy snake at him

9/10 it hits him in the face

He loves his son really...

In-fact, ever since he’s had Ozymandias he’s been compeltly ignoring women

Actually now that he thinks about it he wasn’t had...you know what in a long time

Has it changed!?

Is he even doing it right!?

Que baby crying

“SOMEONE HELP ME!”

Yamraiha’s babies xxx

Dosent want to travel through a magic circle incase she hurts the baby in her belly

Boat ride it is

Ever been stuck on a month boat ride with a pregnant woman?

No

LUCKY YOU!

If she’s craving a food that isn’t there, someone is about to have a broken neck

LET HER EAT DAMMIT!

Can’t get comfortable in any position and the rocking of the boat just makes her morning sickness worst

Accidentally threw up on someone’s shoes...

Lays in bed thinking about possible baby names but can’t come up with any she likes so proceeds to cry into her pillow.

Looks fat in everything

The generals are going to think she looks fat

Sharrkan is 100% going to laugh at her being fat

Que power nap

This trip better be worth it...

Pisti’s babies xxx

Tir is ready for take off

Pisti has already decked him out in feathers galore and won’t he stop trying to climb up on every single bird he sees

She can’t help but laugh at him

He’s such a bundle of energy

No trouble at all

“HES GONNA GET HIS EYES PECKED OUT SOMEONE STOP HIM!”

Okay maybe a bit of trouble

But nothing auntie Pisti can’t solve right!

Right?...

Pisti decides to fly over to Sindria because why not? It’s a lot quicker

To stop Tir from falling off she makes a harness that she straps around the chest of the bird so Tir is facing her the whole time

BIG MISTAKE

The whole way there he’s just gargling at her and poking her boobs

Then he cries when he realises how small they are

IF HE DOSENT WATCH HIS ATTITUDE SHE WILL THROW HIM OFF THE BIRD!

Debates if it’s even worth drinking in sindria because Tir is a full time job

Pisti? Not drinking?

She joins in with Tir’s cries

It’s a painful journey with a peacock coloured Tir alright...

[viviswtings]

Two Years. (Pt. 2) (Not proof read)

So this is bad. Like, REALLY bad. U’m not even close to be okay with how this turned out. But I have to get out of my writer’s block one way or the other.

Hyunjin x f!reader.

Warnings: Badly written slow burn with a very non-satisfying ending. 

Words: 1608.

Looking at him always felt like the first time. His expressive face in a cute but exaggerated expression, his hands moving as he tried to explain himself to the phone. She remembered him with his dark locks, when they had gotten that awkward mullet length he always complained about. His face had gotten less round, his features way more defined, his hands had gotten bigger. When he had asked her to teach him, she was so embarrassed, he was so damn good looking. But she had never expected him to end up this handsome. If she had known she would’ve ran away. Her heart had never been ready for the roller coaster a friendship with him would be. How he hugged her from behind, or the way he grabbed her arm and acted all cute around her.

His English was slow, his grammar rather proper and his accent made her knees weak. He had gotten way better in a very short time. He was determined to be able to communicate with his fans no matter what. She found it very cute, given the fact that he always seemed to be mocking everyone. His tone sounded so sweet now, she knew he was being serious about whatever he was saying. It was a good thing that she was sitting. Otherwise she’d be on the floor right at that moment. That’s probably how the people at the other end of the phone also felt.

He tilted his head and looked at her, inquisitiveness written all over his pretty features. She assumed he was asking her if what he just said was alright, so she just nodded, trying to pay attention at what she was supposed to be doing. She heard him laugh and she felt her whole face burn, so she lowered her head to do whatever she was doing before. What was she doing again?

She didn’t remember, and, as soon as he stopped laughing and payed attention the video again, she was back at staring: noticing every little detail that had changed ever since they met.

His hair had grown so long, it was a nice shade of blonde after they had fixed the bright yellow that naturally followed pastel pink. His profile, with his delicate nose and plump pink lips that he didn’t stop chewing on, was one of the most beautiful sights in her mind. She was drawing him mindlessly, when she was supposed to be doing homework. She guessed she could just pass it as one of the many live portraits she had been assigned to do in her free time. She couldn’t resist it when he had the audacity to look so absurdly breath-taking.  

She was as far away from the phone’s view as possible, which meant that she was actually kind of facing him. She could see sweat drip from his hairline, the beads falling slowly until they got lost in his brow. He had taken his jacket off, throwing it out of frame over a chair, and rolled his sleeves up to his shoulder line. She didn’t really know when it happened, but he had bulked up again after getting rather skinny for a while. Maybe it was because Jeongin was exercising too.

His shoulders looked broader, defined, there were fine lines in his forearms from the shadows of the veins she doubted the camera could see like she was doing. As it could definitely not see how his track pants hugged his thighs. She shouldn’t be looking at him like that, it was creepy. But she could not help it. He caught her staring and said hi with his hand under the tripod. She jumped a little, realizing that he had caught her boldly staring, so her only option was to smile and wave back. Her heart was racing, calling her out for being such a moron.

If that had happened some months ago, she would most surely die of embarrassment. But they were sort of close now. She didn’t know how it happened. She was teaching him English after he asked her in the cutest way, and before she knew it, he was sprawled on her bed calling her name with diminutives or pet names, in that same tone he once had used, so she would take some “aesthetic pictures” of him. He was so full of shit for doing that to her poor heart. He was bound to end up killing her with that behaviour.

While she was lost in thought, in the memories of him that she cherished, he ended his live, turning off the phone and sliding his to get in front of her. He smiled, his smile gave her all kinds of feelings, as she had found soon enough. He had the ability to act all clingy and cutesy yet make it seem like he was in total control of the situation. While she tried to be put together and even then, everyone laughed at how messy she always ended up being. The guys she had grown to love took pride in calling her out for her “cuteness”. They were all just as full of shit as him.

That was a lie. He was the worst of them all.

His eyes, sharp as a knife, were looking at her like a puppy who was just finding out something, before he licked his lips and smiled again. Her heart was doing leaps and dancing the Macarena in her chest. She felt as if she could puke it at any second now. When he leaned back, out of her personal space, she released the breath she didn’t know was holding.

“You’re out of it today” Good point. He was right. But lately she was always out of it when he was around. It was getting painfully obvious how she felt about him, but it pained her too. So she couldn’t avoid it. “You okay?”

She nodded, shrugging at the same time. Trying to keep her cool, if she had any. “Just tired. University’s been trying to test my limits lately”. The answer seemed to suffice, for he just nodded and looked around him.

When had he gotten so handsome again? She had always found him cute; he had the face of an angel. His beauty was soft, warm even. So absolutely breath-taking, without it being too obvious. He didn’t stand out in a crowd- at least until he had dyed his hair and let it grow so long, he could put it up in a ponytail- but when you laid eyes on him, it was absolutely impossible to deny the beauty he held. Looking at him was easy, nearly hypnotising.

He ended up lying on the floor, his long limbs spread out like he was a starfish. She smiled softly, looking at the rising of his chest as he breathed. His t-shirt was sticking to his body, he always sweated so much. He needed tons and tons of setting powder from how oily his face always got whenever he did anything. But even sweaty as he was, he smelt so nice. She could tell apart his clothes without even really trying because his smell was so nice, yet particular.

“Maybe you should take a shower”. She kicked his feet with hers, and he kicked back softly, moving his foot until the sole of his shoe was against hers. “You stink”.

While he wailed, complaining about how mean she always was, she looked at their feet. He had really grown in the past year, hadn’t he. She could fit her shoed foot in his shoe without a problem. She never felt small in Korea, not compared to other girls at least, and definitely not if she compared herself to the other guys. They were tiny, making her feel sort of bad about everything regarding her size. But he was tall, his hands were the size of her face. He was prettier than her, but at least he made her feel kind of feminine… once in a while.

She wasn’t completely sure what had gotten over her, but she crawled until she was on top of him. Without looking him in the eye, as she knew she’d end up embarrassed and would back off, she plopped down on top of him, listening to his groan with a light-hearted laugh. So dramatic.

They both laughed for a moment, but it lasted mere seconds. Soon, the studio was silent. He was looking at the ceiling, while she looked at the wall. There was nothing to say, nothing to talk about. Silence was alright with both of them, it was way more comfortable than empty words anyway.

What would she say? She didn’t want him to push her away, to end up slipping between her fingers like she feared he one day would. He was a mystery to her; she never knew what was crossing his mind. She only knew that somethings he was alright with: hugs, cuddles, holding hands… all that he was up to. Not just with her, he was a very touchy person in general. Talking about how he felt? Not so much. He didn’t open up with words, relying on his eyes and face to say everything his mouth couldn’t. And she never dared pay enough attention, in case she found rejection deep withing them.

If only she knew that he had been looking at her ever since she started laughing with Felix in that makeup chair that day. That, while she didn’t even know his name, he had been always aware of her. But he was afraid. They both were.

Perhaps what they needed were another two years.

[babeyvenus]

Revival(BNHA OC)

Chapter 5: Sports Festival?

Keeping herself hidden from her villainous father, and studying to be a hero for the sake of her and her deceased mother, Sunako Homura pushes her way through countless challenges in her highschool years. Will she lose it all, or lose herself?

Story Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance, Family/Comfort

Tags/Trigger Warnings: Gore/Blood, Suicidal attempts, Alcohol, Language, Panic Attacks

_______________________________________________

After dinner, there was an awkward vibe between Shura and I. Neither her or I have said anything to each other even after she came home.

"You didn't tell me you were going on a trip.", Shura suddenly speaks up.

"My bad?", I say and she smacks me on my head. "Uh...OW!?"

Tatsuo hisses in sympathy.

"You earned that! You had me worried!", she says looking back at the sink. "All Might called home and I was worried sick. You're lucky I was stuck at work, or I'd have been there to strangle you."

I sweatdropped. "Please don't."

She sighs and shakes her head. "Just be careful. This is your first time fighting a villain and you almost died...."

"I didn't get anywhere close to dying, Shura.", I say, crossing my arms.

"To me, you did. I shouldn't have to get a phone call home about you being in danger or hurt, or worse.", she says, sullen and walking to her room.

"I know.", I say, looking down at my lap, not wanting to make it worse.

"She's only looking out for you, Sunako.", Tomohiro says.

I know.

_______________________________________________

After two days of resting, I went outside only to see Bakugou already ahead.

“So, you weren’t gonna wait?”, I joked, catching up to him.

“Tch.”, he rolled his eyes. “You take too long. Shouldn’t take you 30 years to put on some pants.”

“You’re exaggerating and a drama queen,” I say.

He glared at me and I just laughed as we got to the entrance.

“Hey, Sunako!”, I hear Mina call me.

Before I could turn around, I was tugged somewhere into the girls changing room.

“What’s going on!?”, I exclaimed, seeing Yaoyorozu, Tsuyu and Uraraka trailing behind her.

“It’s about time you got out of those pants, don’t you think…?”, Ashido smiles sinisterly, along with the other trio.

“And that’s my cue to leave.”, Tomohiro says, disappearing.

You ass! Don’t leave me!!

I backed up into a wall. “What’re you trying to do….?”

Tsuyu wrapped me up with her tongue as Yaoyorozu sized me up, making a skirt, black thigh highs, a black bra in my size.

“Don’t even think about putting that on me!”, I yelled.

“Would you rather do it yourself?”, Ashido asked.

“I’d rather die!”, I deadpanned.

They looked at me with straight faces and neared me again.

“You can beat me or whatever, but I ain't putting it on!”, I exclaim.

"Oh, c'mon! It's not that bad.", Mina says, making me raise both of my eyebrows in disbelief.

_______________________________________________

“Hey, you guys!!”, Ashido calls.

I felt myself being dragged inside the classroom, hearing a bunch of voices going around and then it gets quiet.

“We got something to show ya! Meet the new Homura Sunako!”, she announces, ripping a cover off of me.

I look around the room to see the rest of the class’s wide eyes and some of their cheeks dusted pink.

“Isn’t she cute??”, Uraraka asks.

“Very.”, Kaminari grins.

“I didn't need your opinion!”, I yell and Mina giggles, wrapping her arms around me.

I glanced toward the rest of the room. “What’re you guys staring at!? Quit gawkin’!!”, I growled.

“Aw, c'mon Sunako-chan…you don’t look bad. You’re super cute!”, Hagakure says.

“I’m not cute!”, I argue.

“She’s right, though!”, Kaminari says and grins at Kirishima. "Don't you think so, bro?" Kirishima rubs behind his neck. "C'mon, don't make her uncomfortable."

I groaned out loud turning to Mina. “Why’d you make me put this on?”

“To get in touch with your inner femininity.”, she says, shrugging.

What kinda answer is that….?

“She’s right, you know.”, Tomohiro says. "It doesn't hurt to do so every now and then."

Your opinion is invalid. You didn't help me.

The door slid open to show a wrapped up mummy.

“Who-?”, I started, but was cut off by threatening, but mumbled voice.

“Why are you all still up…? Sit. Down.”, a familiar voice says.

“Mr. Aizawa….!?”

“You’re back!!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting??”

“My well being isn’t of importance right now. I just need to let you all know that your battle isn’t finished.”, he says, walking over to the podium.

“What…?”

“More villains….?”, I whispered.

“The sports festival is coming up.”, he says.

Everyone sighs in relief. Asshole…

“I forget this is a school.”, Kaminari says.

“Everyone…I’m gonna do my best!”, Uraraka exclaims.

Everyone fist pumps the air. “Yeah!!”

“I said I’m gonna do my best!!”, Uraraka yells aggressively.

“Y-yeah….”

The class went by just as fast as it came and everyone clambered to leave.

“I’m so tired…”, I say, yawning. I glanced Uraraka as she trembles, facing the door.

“W-what the-!?”

“What’s going on!?”, Midoriya exclaims.

The door was blocked by various and many students from other classes.

“What now…?”, I say, walking up to group.

“What’re they here for!?”, Mineta yelled looking confused.

Bakugou brushes past me. “They know about USJ, you idiots. They’re scoping out the competition.”

Mineta points at him and looks at Midoriya as he reassures him.

Bakugou walks up to the door. “Now that we got that out the way, you idiots have no business looking in here. Now, get outta my way, extras!”

“H-hey! Bakugou!”

“You can’t just call people extras because you don’t know who they are!”, Iida yells.

I walked up to the door, but paused as a bored looking, lavender haired student walked up. “I heard you guys were impressive, but you just sound like an ass. I’m sad to find that you guys aren’t nothing but egotistical maniacs.”

“Hah!?”, Bakugou sneered.

I frowned. “Now, wait just a minute-”

The guy starts rambling and I sigh, tuning out.

This is a waste of time…

“Bakugou, where are you going? It’s your fault they’re in our grill!”, I hear Kirishima exclaim.

“None of that shit matters. When you rise to the top, none of these shitheads will matter.”, Bakugou says leaving.

"That guy moves to the beat of his own drum.", I say, rubbing my temple. "I kinda like him. He doesn't take shit from no one.", Tatsuo says, smirking.

You two might just get along then cause you're both annoying.

I sighed, walking out of the school after the day.

“I never understood what all that was about. They saw who they were up against, why provoke us?”, I grumble lowly.

“They want to see who was really a challenge. Considering this is a popular school.", Tomohiro says.

“Maybe they’re scared.", Tatsuo says and I roll my eyes. "Scared of what? We haven't done much."

"They'll be seeing soon enough but for now, just worry about training.", Tomohiro warns.

I walked inside my house and paused seeing my aunt drop her remote.

“You…you’re wearing a skirt….and you look ADORABLE!!”, she gets up and squishes my cheeks.

“Told you, it’s not bad. It’s a good change.”, Tomohiro grins.

“Yeah, yeah.", I grumble, pushing her off. "I haven't seen you wear a skirt in so long," she pauses. "Who put you up to it?"

I shook my head. "Just a couple of girls from my class." She raised her eyebrows. "You told your class? I mean, it's obvious but how did they take it?"

"They were shocked…. confused?", I shrug. "They accepted it fairly quickly for some reason but there's no need to dwell on it." She nods. "Well it's good that they're looking out for you too. Make sure you make a lot of friends, yeah?"

I nod. "Okay."

She claps suddenly. "Speaking of friends, guess who's back?"

I tilted my head in confusion and walked around the stairs to get to the kitchen, where she had this mystery guest hidden.

“X-xen!? Ushio!?”

Ushio Suki and Xen Yamato, my childhood friends. We met at an Aikido tournament after I'd beaten Xen. Ushio rushed at his side in seconds so she's had a crush on him for the longest.

Ushio came up to me and hugged me. “How’ve you been? I missed you!”

He shrugged and smiled. “We saw each other at the store and thought to drop by and see how you were doing.”

I frown. Now, of all times….?

“Give them a chance. They’ve missed you.”, Tomohiro says from the island.

“It’s been a year, you guys.”, I say.

Xen scratches his cheek and chuckles nervously. “Yeah…it has.”

“Yeah, sorry. I went to America for a while. I had to deal with my grandma remember?”, she asks.

“Oh, that’s right. At least somebody bothered to tell me something.”, I say, pointedly at Xen.

An awkward silence ruled out in the air.

“I’ll leave you guys alone.”, Shura said, leaving the kitchen.

I crossed my arms. “So…”

“How’re you doing after the USJ incident…?”, he asks.

How’d he know about that….?

“How'd you know I was there…?”, I asked.

“You can’t answer my question with a question.”, he says.

Yeah, I meant to come see you but it was this redhead standing outside the nurse's office.”, she says, scratching her neck.

Kirishima...

I shook my head. “You’re in my house. Answer mine.”, I say, looking at Xen.

“I’m in 1-B.”, he says.

“I’m in the Support department.”, Ushio says.

My eyes widen. “You two are at UA….? I haven’t seen you there.”

“I could barely recognize you either until I saw your face.”, he says.

“Same.”

I sighed. “Well I’m doing fine, as you can see. I just came back.”

“Yeah, I see.”, he says, looking me up and down. Ushio smiled widely, doing the same. "This look is cute.", she says.

I sigh. “Well, if that’s all you’re here for, you can have any snack and leave. I’m gonna go wash up.”, I say.

“Damn, you’re throwing us out already?”, he joked.

“Yes, get out.”, Tatsuo orders and Tomohiro pats his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes with a smile. “I’m pretty sure you got other things to do.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”, he says going through my pantry.

“Yup, gotta get back home. I didn’t even tell my mom I was coming to visit you.”, she says.

“Don’t touch my pockies, I’ll murder you both in your sleep.”, I say, walking away.

“I believe it.”, he says, still rummaging.

“We won’t!”, Ushio exclaims.

My phone binged as soon as I walked out of my bathroom,catching my attention.

{XXX-XXX-XX23}

Hey, grl!

Uh…what…?

{Dxmonix}

Who’s this…?

{XXX-XXX-XX23}

It’s Mina! Srry, I went through your phone when you were changing (¯∇¯٥)

{Dxmonix}

No worries (ーωー)

{Alien Queen}

Gotta add you to the Bakusquad now

{Dxmonix}

The what now?

{Alien Queen}

Mweheheh

{Dxmonix}

You're creeping me out Mina.

{Alien Queen}

Don't worryyyy

Alien Queen placed you in BakuSquad!

What the hell.

{Sparky}

Hey, Sunako chan!(≧▽≦)/

{Sticky}

What’s up?(*¯∀¯)ノ

{Sharkyboi}

Hewwo(≧▽≦)/

{Dxmonix}

Hey guys(￣▽￣)ノ

Alien Queen added Lord Explosion Murder!

{Dxmonix}

Uh…..wut…?

{Lord Explosion Murder}

Tf is this?

{Dxmonix}

Uh Mina…?

{Alien Queen}

So! Now that we have everyone here, it’s time for questions

{Lord Explosion Murder}

Hell no. Take me out of this shit

{Sticky}

Lmaooo

{Dxmonix}

Relax Explosion Boy

{Lord Explosion Murder}

Fuck off

And get me out of this chat!

{Alien Queen}

Not until we talk

{Dxmonix}

We're talking tho

{Lord Explosion Murder}

I'm going to sleep.

{Dxmonix}

Felt that

{Alien Queen}

Nuuuu

{Sparky}

Awwww lame

{Sharkyboi}

I smell fail

{Lord Explosion Murder}

If you’re fuckin finished, can I leave now

{Alien Queen}

Nope!

I shook my head, lurking through the messages and saved everyone's contact before slowly falling asleep.

Within the next few days of training for the festival, things weren’t getting any better. Everyone was bustling about getting themselves pumped up and prepared or some were just completely out of it and unprepared.

Me, on the other hand, I was a little bit of both.

“All of Japan will be watching, huh…?”, I asked Uraraka.

“Don’t remind me!”, she whines.

“It can’t be too bad…”, Yaoyozoru says trembling.

“Yaomomo, you’re shaking.”, Mina pointed out.

“Is everyone ready?”, Iida pops back in the room.

We all nod and get up until Todoroki calls Midoriya out.

I looked at him in confusion.

“Now, that we’re here for this festival…I just want you to know that I’m stronger than you.”, he says.

Midoriya just meekly nods.

“You’ve got All Might waiting for you on the sidelines. I won’t ask why, but I will beat you.”, he says.

He turns to me.

“The same goes for you, Homura. I don’t know exactly what your quirk is like, but I’ll beat you too.”

The hell did I do?

_______________________________________________

[mountain-ash-and-rusted-iron]

this is an oc masterpost of all my haf-formed ocs languishing on pinterest with their messy aesthetics and unedited blurbs, in roughly chronological order of their creation, plus sorted by fandom. this post is only asoiaf, harry potter, hunger games, and riverdale, cos i have tooooooo many original characters otherwise and the post was getting incredibly long. (note that i love my ocs but these one’s are not polished or even the final versions of their characters, i just wanted to post them lol)

under a read more, if you��re on mobile start scrolling i guess, sorry,,,

Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire:

Laeya Targeryen: (child of Rhaella and Aerys Targaryen, born 280 AC - three years older than Danaerys) 

Fearful of her impending marriage, Laeya is eleven when she takes her younger sister and flees across the sea to Dorne, hiding herself and Dany with dyed hair and badly controlled magic. As Leia and Dani Sand they learn to live normally. At 15 Leia joins the Royal Guard and secures Dany work as a tailor's apprentice. When she is 17, an assassin tries to kill her in front of the Dornish court and everything changes...

- so laeya straight up has magic, which im considering an extension of the dragon thing dany has - she can control flame and for the disguise uses her ‘inner fire’ to make her eyes white-blue like super hot flames, cos the purple eyes are super distinctive. and then she’s discovered and suddenly politics are happening. honestly she’s entirely a way for me to remove the child marriage bits of the targaryen storyline (stop marrying off your twelve-year-old baby sister viserys u asshole) - in terms of meta/basics, laeya doesn’t have a fc cos most of my early ocs don’t, and bcs i picture her as emilia clarke with faked dark hair and blue eyes lol

and a quick aesthetic below:

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Kyrra Snow: (child of Robert Baratheon and Maery Snow, birthdate ???)

Kyrra Snow is the eldest natural-born child of Robert Baratheon, current King of Westeros, and daughter of Maery Snow, a Southron (but Northern-born) merchant woman. After her mother realises Kyrra was growing up a little too much like her father in looks and needed to leave the far South before she caught the wrong sort of attention, Kyrra was sent off to travel with her aunt and cousins. She is 17 and heading further north, to Winter Town, when Jon Arryn dies.

- kyrra’s another child of everyone’s favourite asshole king, and she’s got a lot of people after her head, but she just wants to travel and continue her work as a simple peddler. (riiip poor girl) honestly she’s not that developed but yolo -

aes:

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Brynn Stark: (child of Catelyn and Eddard Stark, Robb’s twin sister)  

Brynn believes in honour and family, and she is loyal to Winterfell and the North above all else. Likes - archery, embroidery and weaving. Betrothed to [some young Northern lord] to keep the bonds between the Norther families strong.

-i basically made brynn as a contrast to sansa’s pro-southnness and excessive femininity and arya’s anger and desire for swords (relatable mood tho lmao). so brynn is here to mediate, extoll the virtues of both needlework and weapons, make a decent marriage to someone she likes, if not loves, and hold down the fort in the North while shit gets increasingly messier in the South. and a possible faceclaim is Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey - 

aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rosienne Lannister: (child of Joanna and Tywin Lannister, born 273 AC)

Rose is looked at by the realm with dismissal, a consolation prize for her father, a spare daughter only useful for matchmaking, but at least able-bodied and pretty, unlike her brother. After a long betrothal, Rose is married to Willas Tyrell at the age of eighteen, cementing her role as the next Lady of High Garden...

- Rosie/Rose is a bonus Lannister, bcs why not. likes cyvasse and the harp, soft and kind and maternal, powerful in her own way. originally she was from a minor divergence where joanna survives tyrion’s birth and goes on to have another kid, but not sure if i’ll keep that aspect, so for now she’s tyrion’s twin -

and her aes (yes that quote is cropped, no i don’t care rn):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

honourable mentions to my other got underdeveloped got/asoiaf ocs who need more effort before i post properly about them:

Tamlen Storm, a rookery apprentice (working for the Maester of House Tully, managing the ravens) who may or may not be a reincarnated si-oc trying to save westeros, 

and an unnamed northern huntress who stumbled into the plot somehow and wants her normal life back (entirely inspired by Keira Knightley as Gwyn in Princess of Thieves, when she’s doing archery stuff and looking v butch).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry Potter:

Taurus ‘Ara’ Lestrange:  (child of Bellatrix and Roldolphous Lestrange, born 1978) 

Raised by the Goblins after a legal mix-up following her parents' imprisonment in Azkaban, Taurus is good with a sword and aiming to be the next Minister of Magic. She attends Hogwarts with the other magical kids her age, under the fake identity Ara Burke, unknown cousin of a minor half-blood family. When the Potter brat’s drama starts destroying her change at an education just as her fourth year, her OWL prep year, begins, Ara intervenes.

- im tangentially aware that as bellatrix’s kid she’s almost occupying the place of whats-her-name from the cursed child, but considering that i know nothing about the cursed child and don’t care about it anyway, i have elected to ignore this. her actual parent might turn out to be some smitten half-blood from a minor branch of the Greengrass family, or it might actually be Rodolphous, who knows. slightly inspired by the fic ‘Harry Crow’ (by robst on ff.net) where harry is raised by the goblins -

messy aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Valerian Potter: (child of Lily and James Potter, born 1980)

After the Potter twins’ parents are murdered by Voldemort, they’re dumped on the doorstep of Number 4, Privet Drive. Dealing with two traumatised magical orphans, Petunia and Vernon Dursley turn to violence and neglect to stay in control, acting far more harshly than expected. With the arrival of two Hogwarts letters, life gets complicated incredibly quickly. (Self-sufficient and scarred from abuse, Val and Harry are immediately Sorted into Slytherin). 

- val’s fic is basically an angst fest, okay,,, -

aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and shout-outs to: holly addison potter, a half-baked reincarnation si-oc (i love that concept a lot, can u tell) and my fav girl thea dursley, who already has her own fic and so isn’t getting a proper spot in this post 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Hunger Games:

Asher: (District Two, age 18) 

[rip no blurb for asher]

-asher is a career from two, who wins the 70th games. mostly im focusing on her recovery and how the games function in two, with training volunteers and mentoring and collecting sponsors, plus eventually the rebellion. lots of the D2 headcanon i have is inspired by @/lorata but i defintely made a distinct effort to have my own stuff, cos where’s the fun in plagiarism -

aes for Asher’s Games:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Rowan Everdeen: (District Twelve, age 19)

Rowan will do anything to protect her family. This extends to going to Head Peacekeeper Cray on a cold winters night, charging the most she can get for her virginity.  It extends to Reaping Day, when she steps out in front of the crowd and says “I volunteer as tribute” in the steadiest voice she can muster.  It extends to clawing her way out of the Arena, bloody and exhausted, with blades in her hands and violence kept tucked behind her teeth. It extends further, to a simple ‘Yes, President Snow’ when he coldly, carefully implies her family might meet with an accident if she doesn’t play the good little Victor (and fuck the people who pay the Capitol for her company). It extends to joining the Rebellion, to looking President Coin directly in the eye and agreeing to be a Mockingjay, a symbol for the people to rally around.

- another everdeen kiddo! as the big sister, rowan volunteers for prim, and goes through the Games - she’s a healer and a hunter, and a decent enough actor that she can manage interviews and a camera presence, unlike katniss. rowan also pairs well with a minor au i have, where the reapings are spaced out over a week and official training is a longer, giving the capitol a nice, long buildup to get excited and place bets, etc., and giving the poor, underfed tributes from the outer districts a better chance, which makes for more interesting television and better Games -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrasteia Crane: (The Capitol, age 28) Unlike her big brother, Adrasteia doesn’t want to be a Gamemaker. Instead, she wants to create clothes, artwork, to enrapture the Capitol. She wants to be a Games stylist. After years of design school, of working her way up the ranks, first a PA’s assistant, and then fetching and carrying for Twelve’s prep team, and then eventually on a prep team for the dull tributes from Six, Adrasteia Crane finally has what she wants - the position of stylist for District Three’s male tribute in 74th Hunger Games. 

- tbh adrasteia is only seneca crane’s sister because i couldn’t think of a suitable last name for her lmao. i think i’d actually prefer her to be unattached to any major canon players. however, his death is a good motivation for her to join the rebellion, so we’ll see. she’s got a bit of the capitol fashion thing going too, with soft pink hair and diamond-effect skin on her face and shoulders -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

also bonus hunger games content: another oc, Sarsaparilla Verran, from District Eleven, fifteen and alone when she goes into the Games. An orphan, her siblings lost to the Community Home system years ago, her relatives dead or uncaring. So, Rilla is a wee lonely bab tbh. she did not want this, unlike most of my other hg ocs, and she’s not excited for weeks of murder. she just wants her family back, but since that isn’t possible, she’ll build a new family instead. and uuhhhhh,  spoiler alert, she dies before she can have this ://///

and my hunger games aus - a canon divergence where katniss joins the careers instead of peeta, her desire to go home to her family outweighing her reactive hate for the concept of training/volunteering to kill other teens, and a fem!Haymitch au where she’s a little wiser to the dark side of the capitol before she commits acts of rebellion (she still rebels anyway tho, just smarter).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riverdale:

Cat Cooper: (middle child of Alice and Hal Cooper) Cat Cooper (17) is the black sheep of the Cooper family. Her piercings, brightly dyed hair and connections to the Southside Serpents make her the odd one out among her sisters and constantly at odds with Alice Cooper. Cat’s life is occupied with her Serpent friends, work at a local coffee shop, and training - martial arts, supplemented with cross country, gymnastics and swimming. Until her older sister is shipped off to places unknown and her baby sister starts getting caught up in murder investigation with the absent Serpent heir... 

- haven’t decided between Catelyn or Catherine for Cat’s full name lmao. she used to be Kit, actually, but I changed it cos i prefer Kit to solely be my divergent oc (kit serafim). Cat is an ADHD disaster who loves her sisters and her friends and wants to get the hell out of Riverdale on a sports scholarship (she does either boxing or karate mainly, need to figure that bit out) -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Georgie Andrews: (child of Mary and Fred Andrews)

Georgie likes soft drinks, cheerleading, and hanging out with the Blossom twins and Polly Cooper, their closest friends and a welcome distraction from their own problems. After Polly and Jason vanish, Georgie’s support system is almost gone, and they has to deal with everything they’ve been bottling up, just in time for Fred Andrews to get shot.

- also just angst ngl.  so georgie’s gender is basically ???, they enjoy cheerleading and not much else. they spend half their time dealing with depression, by trying to ignore stressful/hard topics and focus on the good side of everything. this isn’t a great long-term coping mechanism and has the fun side effect of pissing of the people around him when she seems unable to be serious or empathetic to someone else's pain (bcs she’s too busy deflecting for the sake of her own fragile mental health), so it gets fun when fred is shot and archie starts getting in too deep with the lodges -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sera Thornstone: (parents ???) Southside Serpent. Going to the Riverdale Community College and running errands for FP Jones. And secretly meeting up with her Ghoulie lover down by the Sweetwater where nobody goes. 

- everything about sera is vague and undecided lmao. but she has a ghoulie gf/bf/nbf? and they’re hiding that they were down by the river on the 4th of july, cos a serpent is an immediate suspect. going to community college to work on getting general credits before saving up for fancy school for law or journalism. the aes isn’t entirely accurate cos sera’s built from the remains of another serpent oc who i scrapped (she does have a baseball bat tho) -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and honourable mentions to jen johnson and octavia blossom-murphy, my other riverdale ocs who actually have content, plus an in-development unnamed oc who gets adopted from the soqm by the Muggs family and growsup with Ethel. and my riverdale role reversal au, which i will never write but have some nice aesthetics for under the tag wip: bughead role reversal au.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

all my mini-aesthetics here are unsourced images/from pinterest. any similarities to other people or characters, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 

alrighty that’s it. now i have to tag this behemoth argh

[sweetsweetnathan]

Healer/Tank Sexual Tension

Okay so I just had the most high-sexual-tension healer/tank experience ever.

Of the three ARR caster classes (Thaumaturge, Conjurer, and Arcanist) I have cared the least for Conjurer. It’s the only one I haven’t gotten to 50. But like every Black Mage main, I fancy myself not only an intelligent person, but the smartest living organism in the history of carbon-based life. So naturally I long for the recognition provided by the “Archmage” title, and thus decided to spend some time leveling Conjurer/White Mage.

So I am the Healer in this Healer/Tank pod. Who is my tank? Why it’s a Gladiator running Tam-Tara Deepcroft named Sandy. Sandy is Mi’qote with long, pink hair pulled into twin tails. And she throws herself into fights. I mean, everyone pulls big in Tam-Tara Deepcroft, but Sandy doesn’t just pull dungeons mobs. She organizes classical southern Gothic family reunions for dungeon mobs, complete with poofy dresses, parasols, and masquerade decor. Everyone even remotely related to the dungeon mobs was showing up for Sandy’s pulls.

And let me tell you, if you’re the kind of person that has a, ahem, “brat” complex, this is exactly how you want to play an MMO. I despise it when women are relegated to playing support and healer roles simply because of the superficial connection to motherhood/nurturing/breast feeding. No, fuck that, ya know what’s equally as feminine as breast feeding? Throwing yourself into danger to see if there’s actually any consequences to breaking the over-many rules set out for you. Sandy took damage like Jane Austen took suitors, like Edgar Allen Poe took liquor, like Mark Zuckerburg took your personal information: In such massive ridiculous quantities that I couldn’t help but feel both challenged and complimented by the audacity of it.

So we go room to room, Sandy throwing herself into the melee while I dart in behind her (and ahead of everyone else) to yank her from death’s door. She’s obviously enjoying herself. She’s gone to one-tenth health at least four times before the end of the dungeon. But I’m keeping up. Of course I am! I primarily play Black Mage, a job with mechanics so deep and nuanced that optimizing it requires one to connect to every atom in the universe on spiritual level. There’s no way I’m going to be outdone by an energetic cat with no regard for her own well-being.

We get to the boss. Sandy engages immediately, as I anticipated she would. I’m switching between Cure and Stone II, because I have a rough idea of how much DPS I can deal before Sandy gets low enough to justify casting Cure instead of Stone. But then we get to the point where the tether-mobs spawn. 

I’m quick to turn on them, as is Sandy. For some reason though, the adds that guard the tether-mobs aggro to me. It’s only for a moment, but it’s a compromising moment, as the boss happens to be charging an AOE. Sandy is on the other side of the arena as the adds close in on me. I get ready to take the damage and try to heal through it. 

That’s when, as if she woke up this morning just to do this one thing, Sandy hits Dash and rushes to me. She runs through the boss AOE and gets the attention of every add that was targeting me. I react cucumber-cool, instantly redirecting the heal meant for me onto her as she gets slammed with the AOE, followed by all the attacks that otherwise would’ve pummeled me. Of course, I thought, of course she has to try and find a way to defeat me, if not by dying then by living through what would’ve killed me.

The dungeon ended and I felt like I needed a cigarette afterwards. We said nothing to each other. What could we say? What did we need to say? Fucking nothing, that’s what. We left everything “on the mat”, as they say in Judo. Our tryst had its meet-cute, its passion, and its resolution. Sandy, if you’re somehow reading this, don’t ever queue with me again. You’re a reckless fool with silly hair who will get no more attention from me. I refuse to believe anything you do is on purpose, just as I refuse to believe that there could possibly exist in my body an emotion I am unprepared for, or not in complete control of.

...

Anyway, here’s me and her:

[seraph-novak]

Are you taking prompts for Tyrus? If so, could you do one where TJ helps Cyrus to rehearse for a play? thanks, have a lovely day.

All feedback is very much appreciated, but comments and reblogs really make all the difference. Thank you!

Also available on AO3 ♥

~~~~~

Cyrus is quickly losing his patience. On the opposite end of the Kippens’ couch, Amber is grinning down at her phone, a strand of golden hair twisted around her finger as she giggles at something on the screen – no doubt another text from her ‘mystery’ admirer. Cyrus simply sits there and waits, passively fiddling with the corner of his script as he waits for his friend to snap out of her crush-induced daze.

Without thinking, he lets his eyes drift to the corner of the room, settling on the older boy sitting quietly in a well-worn chair, his nose buried in a book. His hair is a shade darker than Amber’s, but his eyes are the same sea-foam green, with a touch of grey softening the bright hue. He’s never really spoken to Amber’s brother before, apart from a few pleasantries exchanged in passing, but there’s something about TJ Kippen that has always intrigued him…

Just then, the other boy lifts his head, as if sensing Cyrus’ curious eyes. A blush warms Cyrus’ cheeks as he quickly returns his attention to the script in his hands, but not quick enough to miss the hint of a smirk playing on TJ’s lips.

“Are you almost done?” he asks Amber, his words sounding sharper than intended. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees TJ go back to reading his book, and his shoulders slump in relief. “Sorry, I just… I’ve only got a few more days to rehearse, remember? The nerves are starting to kick in.”

Amber glances up from her phone, a sliver of guilt fracturing her lovesick smile. “Sorry, Cy. Just gimme a sec.”

It takes closer to a minute than a second for Amber to finally put her phone down, but Cyrus lets it slide. At least he now has a distraction from the indecipherable looks TJ keeps sneaking him, scorching his skin and quickening his heartbeat. 

As they return to the play, Cyrus can’t ignore the longing glances Amber keeps flicking at her phone. With every new text, her concentration wanes even more, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she visibly fights the urge to throw the script across the room and pick up her phone instead. She’s practically vibrating with the effort to focus, her face pinching tighter and tighter as the incoming texts start to slow down.  

“Amber,” Cyrus says, nudging her leg with his foot. “It’s your line.”

She tears her eyes away from the phone, now blessedly silent, and shakes her head. “Sorry… Where are we?”

“Page 14. Line 38.”

“Oh, right.” She slides a finger down the script, her brow furrowed as she searches for the right line. A few seconds later, she clears her throat and falls back into character. “Thomas,” she says, her voice slightly higher than usual. “I thought you’d never –”

“Nope,” Cyrus cuts her off. “Wrong line.”

“Are you sure?”

Cyrus smooths his face and lifts an eyebrow, his breath catching on the edge of a sigh. “Unless we skipped ahead to the final scene without me realising, I’m pretty sure it’s the wrong line.”

Across the room, TJ snorts, an amused smile nicking the corner of his mouth as he meets Cyrus’ eyes. For a brief moment, something warm and sweet blossoms in his chest, but it’s quickly cooled by the sudden ringing of Amber’s phone. He shoots a glare at his friend, silently warning her not to pick it up, but it’s no use.

“I’m so sorry,” Amber says, shrugging helplessly. “It’s Andi. I have to answer!” Before Cyrus can protest, she throws her script at TJ and picks up her phone, already halfway up the stairs. “Run lines with Cyrus until I’m back, okay?”

TJ frowns. “But –”

“Thank you!”

A flirtatious giggle floats down the stairs in her wake, followed by the sound of her bedroom door closing. Once she’s gone, an awkward silence settles over the room. Cyrus looks over at TJ, his stomach churning as the older boy studies the script now lying in his lap, and forces a smile.

“You don’t really have to run lines with me,” he says, twisting his hands together. “I’ll just wait until she’s back.”

TJ scoffs. “That could be a while.”

“Yeah.” He huffs a laugh, then sighs. “Maybe I should just go…”

“I thought you said you only had a few days to rehearse?”

“I do,” Cyrus says, his heart skipping at the notion of TJ paying attention to what he was saying. “But I can do that by myself. Or I’ll ask my mom to help.” He winces, realising too late how lame that must sound. “Or one of my many friends.”

TJ chuckles, and the sound sends a pleasant shiver down his spine, soothing the aching burn of his cheeks.

“Let me help.”

“I… You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

“But –”

“Scooch over,” TJ says, gently slapping Cyrus’ outstretched legs with his script as he sits down on the couch. When he’s comfortable, he licks his finger and flips through the pages. “Page 14, right?”

Cyrus swallows thickly. “Um… Yeah.”

“You’re Thomas?”

“Yeah.”

“So, I guess I’m… Alice?”

A nervous laugh bubbles in his chest. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“I don’t mind,” TJ insists.

“Are you sure?”

“100%.”

Cyrus hesitates, then breathes a sigh as he settles down and reopens his script. “Okay then… I’ll start from the top.” He coughs to clear his throat, flicking an anxious glance at TJ, and starts to read. “I think we need to talk, Alice.”

“About what?” TJ says, a feminine twinge to his voice.

Cyrus fights back a smile and keeps reading.

They run through the scene fluidly, only stopping to turn pages and share secret smiles over the tops of their scripts. As Thomas confesses his undying love for Alice, and the tone of the play takes a turn into sappy territory, Cyrus feels himself flushing darkly, his voice turning tight and raspy as the two characters begin tossing flirtatious comments at each other.

“Who wrote this play?” TJ asks on the cusp of a laugh, his own cheeks turning pink. “It’s very, uh…”

“Terrible?”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna say it that bluntly, but yeah.”

Cyrus snorts. “A few of the girls in my group are Jane Austen wannabes.”

“Yikes.”

“Yep.” Cyrus scratches the back of his head, the smile slowly dying on his lips as he skims through the upcoming pages of groan-worthy dialogue. “We can stop if you want.”

TJ snaps his head up. “What? No! It’s just starting to get juicy.”

“I thought you said it was terrible?”

“It is, but…”

Across the room, the discarded book lying on the chair TJ was previously sitting in catches his eye, and a teasing grin spreads across his face. There’s a cheesy stock photo of two women in old-fashioned dresses strolling through a park on the cover, with tiny umbrellas held above their bonneted heads.

“Oh,” he says, folding his arms with a quirk of an eyebrow. “I see… You’re a Jane Austen wannabe, too.”

TJ blushes. “It’s my mom’s!”

“Sure.”

“Shut up…”

“Hey, I’m not judging!”

When TJ sees him smirking, he breaks into a smile of his own, playfully kicking Cyrus in the shin as readjusts himself on the couch. “Let’s get back to it.”

“Eager, aren’t we?”

“Ha-ha.”

Cyrus wipes the grin off his face, despite the butterflies still fluttering in his stomach, and tries to focus on the poorly-written script in his hands. They dive back into flirty banter – Austen style – all the while stealing glances at each other, their lips twitching with barely supressed laughter. It’s only when the scene shifts from light to serious that Cyrus feels his palms beginning to sweat.

“You look beautiful in the moonlight,” he says, his voice trembling. Even though the words aren’t directed at TJ, he can still hear his heart pounding against his ribcage as he risks a glance at the other boy, trying to gauge his reaction. “You look beautiful in all lights, of course, but this is different.”

TJ licks his lips. “Different how?”

“Your hair shines,” Cyrus says, his voice a whisper. “Your eyes twinkle like starlight. Your skin glows.” He lifts his head, eyes drifting to TJ’s face once again. His gaze is fixed resolutely on his script, but Cyrus can see the blush creeping up his neck, the ripple of his throat as he swallows, the slight furrow between his brows, the silent murmur of his lips as he follows Cyrus’ lines on the page… “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”

TJ freezes, his mouth falling open, and Cyrus realises his mistake: that line isn’t in the script.

“I…” The words die in his throat. He gulps back his embarrassment and tries again, his face starting to burn. “I’m sorry, I just… I-I don’t know where that came from.”

“It’s okay –”

“I got a little carried away, you know?” Cyrus closes his script and gets to his feet, desperately searching for his bag beneath the coffee table. “I think I should go now. Thanks for helping me and everything… I really appreciate it.”

TJ reaches for his arm, but Cyrus shakes him off.

“I’m sorry for making things weird,” he says, tears of humiliation stinging the backs of his eyes. “I don’t know if Amber told you, but I’m gay. Not that you care.” He laughs, completely mortified. “Wow. I just came out to a guy I barely know. This is just getting better and better, isn’t it?”

When TJ reaches for him a second time, he doesn’t miss. His fingers are gentle, but his grip is firm, and he doesn’t take his eyes off Cyrus’ face as he slowly lowers him back onto the couch.

“Calm down,” he says, giving his arm a quick squeeze before letting go. A blinding smile breaks across his face when Cyrus finally meets his eyes. “If you think I’m mad at you for calling me gorgeous, then I must be worse at this than I thought.”

Cyrus frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been flirting with you for the past half an hour, you idiot.”

“What?”

“Okay… I guess I really am bad at this.”

Cyrus shakes his head, trying to steady his racing thoughts. “Are you saying you like me?”

“I have for a while,” TJ admits, shrugging bashfully. “I know we’ve never really talked, but… I’ve seen you around. And you hang out with my sister a lot.” He huffs, one side of his mouth lifting in a crooked smile. “Why do you think I always stay downstairs when you come over? I like being around you.”

“Oh,” Cyrus says, a touch breathless.   

The tension in TJ’s shoulders melts away as Cyrus returns a tentative smile of his own. For a moment, they just sit there, smiling shyly at each on the middle of the couch, their knees deliberately brushing against each other.

“So,” TJ says after a while, his fingers nervously drumming the cool leather between them. “I was thinking… Maybe we could –”

“I’m back!” Amber announces as she bounces down the stairs, her cheeks rosy from her conversation with Andi. When she notices TJ and Cyrus sitting so close, she stalls on the bottom step, her smile morphing into a scowl as she narrows her eyes.  “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing!” Cyrus squeaks, accidentally throwing his script in the air and hitting TJ on the head. He cringes, hiding his face in his hands, and splutters an apology. “Oh no! I’m so sorry, TJ! Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

TJ rubs the back of his head and chuckles. “I think I’ll live.”

“Maybe you should go upstairs now,” Amber says, glaring pointedly at her brother. “We have work to do.”

“Right.” TJ rolls his eyes and gets to his feet, shoving his script into Amber’s hands. He picks up his cheesy Victorian novel and heads towards the stairs, only stopping to cast a gentle smile over his shoulder at Cyrus. “Good luck with the play,” he says, ignoring the daggers Amber is shooting at the side of his head. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

Cyrus chews his lip and shrugs. “You could come, you know? The tickets are all sold out, but I could sneak you in.” He blushes, immediately doubting himself. “Only if you want to, of course. I mean, the script is pretty terrible, and I’m not exactly the greatest actor in the world, so you really don’t have to –”

“I’m there,” TJ cuts in with another smile, offering him a wink before turning around and disappearing up the stairs.

As soon as he’s gone, Amber throws herself onto the couch and punches Cyrus in the arm. “You’re not allowed to have a crush on my brother, okay? That goes against the rules of friendship!”

“You have way too many rules,” Cyrus says. “And, besides… You’ve been flirting with my best friend all afternoon, so I’d say we’re even.”

Amber opens her mouth to protest, then freezes, a groan escaping her lips. “Okay, that’s fair.”

“Thank you.”

“But you do admit you have a crush on him?”

Cyrus glances at the staircase, the frantic beating of his heart still echoing in his ears as a nervous grin tugs at his lips. “Yeah… I think I do.”

The End.

~~~~~

You can find the rest of my Tyrus fics on Tumblr or AO3! Thanks for reading ♥