#okay so general breakdown
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Hello, hi, a3 oc comin through
This is Yuna Harukawa! Fledgling composer, music major at Veludo Arts and Tsuzuru admirer! Oh and she works at the library too
(Sorry that it took a while to draw herโฆ for like the couple people that saw that she would exist at some point lol)
Anyways, hereโs some drawings under the cut woah
Donโt be fooled, sheโs not really that cool, she has to hype herself up to say hello to everyone who walks into the library (especially a certain script writer COUGH COUGH). Girlfailure (affectionate)
expect to see her somewhat often??
#mochiitalks!#mochiiart!#mochiiocs!#a3! oc#yuna harukawa#tsuzuru minagi#muku sakisaka#kazunari miyoshi#okay so general breakdown#tsuzuru vaguely likes yuna and she also vaguely likes him#they dont realize it tho because they dont have time lol#they are the same age so yuna is also kazunariโs junior and he actively ships them#she is not aware of this lol#they commute together#muku reccomends manga to yuna a lot and somehow theres always a character that reminds her of tsuzuru#even if its just a small thing#somehow a connection will be made to the npc guy
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lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...
it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy
also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]
gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.
anyway.
there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.
imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.
a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.
the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?
but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.
#asks#Anonymous#sagau#tsaritsa#like. am i explaining this coherently?? first meetings r GOOD and i could go on a tangent of like. first meetings w zl and make it work#but first meetings w the tsaritsa is like. you just cooked a 5 course meal. took one bite. called it a day.#so much of my characterization lies in the โafterโ of the first meeting#because her first meetings are generally the same. she's apathetic at best!! she does not gaf abt the creator in the SLIGHTEST#but show that you are more then the creator? that you do not cling to the title like a shield? that you do not rely on it?#youve got the worst person youve ever known ready to kill a man for you.#tsaritsa is very like. EXTREMELY hard to earn the trust of but when you do she will kill someone for you no hesitation no question#which is why she works SO WELL in villain au and imposter au!!!!!!!!!#esp if theres a fake โcreatorโ calling you the imposter. she hates their ass and was .5 seconds from dethroning them anyway#you just made it 10x easier#also cant do just first meetings bc i am incapable of not shoving themes of love into every fic w her SORRY#tsaritsa going on a full multiple month long mental breakdown bc she is not in love with you but she would destroy everything for u..#(shes in denial)#tsaritsa and complex themes of love and what it means for the god of love to be incapable of feeling it + what it means when reader shows u#LIKE UGHHHHHH okay. i guess ill write another tsaritsa fic and put it in my vault#aka my drafts#i hold so many fics hostage there its crazy#this answered like 0 of ur questions sorry i see tsaritsa and black out and this happens#i just think first meetings dont let her character really come thru but my response got out of hand so uhhhhh everyone look away. please#putting tape over my mouth now so i shut up before this gets worse#basically tsaritsa gravitates more towards outcast reader rather then one who has already become accustomed to the adoration of the acolyte#does that make sense........#i havent slept in forever and im running on nothing but spite and dreams atp dont expect coherency when it comes 2 the tsaritsa from me#head in hands someone please stop me i keep rambling abt the tsaritsa it makes me go NUTS#lays down. explodes
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Our journey will continue forever
#ash ketchum#ash pokemon#ash#pokemon anime#pokemon#a quick drawing for mr childhood#okay what's y'alls favorite generation of the pokeani#my favorite is sinnoh#i loved the contests and gym battles in that season#i still remember ash losing to fantina like 4 times#i loved how mature ash was in that generation too like he was so supportive#i was off and on rewatching hoenn and man#ash he's a brat like wowww#my favorite moment is when he fistfights brelooms like holy...wow i was cackling#anyways#i cried watching ep 136#like no way...like noooo wayyyy like you know that image of the cat#and it's like hold on holdno im having a breakdown#like no wayy#like i saw it coming but like... i didn't see it coming coming#like i went from ash watcher to ash hater and ash lover over the course of my life#i am so sad to see him go#i hope they don't age him up or anything if he cameos in the new anime#i hope he'll still be in the movies at least or something#my art
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It's my mental breakdown and I get to watch my comfort movie and hold a tiny version of my f/o <3
#my sister got picked up ealry from school so I had to turn it off but. I got to watch it for a little whilw lol#fun fact: veggietales in general is a Huge comfort media for me :]#anyway ummmm not watching the movie anymore but I am still holdingtiny Zooble so everything is okay ๐#andyeah sadly I must admit that I am Not doing okay at all today :[#I've been on the verge of a breakdown all day#dw I'm doing slightlt better now
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Dark fantasy AU?
-In hindsight, as he's being chased through the forest, hunted by mythical creatures is not where Reggie thought he'd end up when his folks told him they were moving to Los Angeles. Honestly, considering how he used to roam the woods and fields near his Meemaw's farm, the fact that he'd stumbled into a fairy circle near the beach was almost insulting.
-It's not even that he manages to outrun them. It's that one night (he thinks it's night, though time moves differently here and light and dark are all tangled up and is the purple haze of the sky supposed to be dusk or dawn or just a dark stop of the forest?) he'd decided to just... give up.
He couldn't remember how long he'd been running, running from the pounding of hooves and the yapping of dogs that did not look anything like what a dog should look like. He couldn't remember a time where he wasn't hungry, or thirsty, or tired, but something inside of him just kept making him run and run and run
-But he'd had enough. So he just sat down, with his back towards the noise, and hoped they'll kill him quickly. And to comfort himself, he sang the lullaby his Meemaw used to sing when he was scared of the thunder.
-That's what saved him. One of the fae, Caleb, was so charmed by the song that instead of doing whatever it is they did with their prey, he bundled Reggie up and took him to his... castle. Dwelling. Domain.
-He was dressed in finery and made to sing as Caleb and the other fae danced and ate and did things that Reggie very much had not wanted to see, thank you very much. But eventually, they slept, and Reggie met... the other humans who were trapped here.
-Luke, a young boy who had run away from home to become a musician in 1875. He was distraught to hear Reggie tell him it was the nineties now. Even more distraught when Reggie clarified it was the 1990s.
-There was Alex, who had been cast out of his village for reasons he did not want to share, but that Reggie figured out pretty quickly when he saw the way he looked at Willie. He'd fallen asleep near a fairy circle, and the promises he'd been made had been so tempting, he'd said yes before he fully understood the deal.
-And then there was Willie. The boy who had been stolen from his parents, a changeling left in his place. Who had grown up here, a part of this world yet not really. Who did not know what the other boys meant when they talked about years, or America, or really the whole concept of 'family'.
-Luke's the one who tells them of their escape plan. Alex is worried they can't trust Reggie not to rat him out to Caleb, and Reggie is like: um excuse me I was just hunted for sport for who knows how long you think I wanna help that guy?
-But before he can Willie just tilts his head and says: his heart is pure.
-Which is very sweet but also a little creepy.
-Anyway, they do manage to escape Caleb's clutches somehow, and end up back in the human world.
-Being yeeted out of a little ring of mushrooms in the soil of a plant Ray overwatered in the big plant wall of the Molina studio was not particularly pleasant, okay. Considering a real human should not be able to fit through that. But Willie explained that as soon as a fairy portal grew, it was only a manner of time that the fairies would notice it and stake it out to see what they could lure to their realm.
-Somehow, Luke and Alex get thrown clear across the room, Luke slamming against the door, Alex dropping onto the concrete floor.
-Reggie's not sure if him crashing against a pretty wooden piano is better or worse. The sound it made was definitely worse.
-Somehow, Willie ends up sitting crosslegged on the little piano bench, and he turns and quickly crushes up the mushrooms to destroy the portal.
-Julie, of course, is screaming, Alex and Luke and Reggie are screaming. Willie is trying to explain to Julie she over-watered her fern and pouts when she runs away.
-No they're not ghosts but they are changed and they all have weird powers. Luke nearly cries with joy that he can still summon his guitar. Alex is really not okay with this whole 'walking through walls' thing. Reggie is sad he cannot summon a puppy or a pizza.
-Willie can teleport short distances and is shocked to learn humans can't just do that? You have to walk everywhere? Or ride a horse. What's a car? What's roller skates? He needs to see one of these skateboad things immediately, let's summon the human girl back to ask for one. What can they trade for a skateboard?
-They're kind of freaked out at the whole 2020 thing, but hey, Reggie's like: at least it hasn't been a hundred years like when I told Luke about the 90s.
-Queue canon but it's even worse and more chaotic.
#julie and the phantoms#I wrote a thing#AUs are awesome#what do I even call this?#kidnapped by the fae au#I had such a hard time sorting out what was dark fantasy vs supernatural vs horror so... had a breakdown bon appetit#spent days going NO WE ARE NOT DOING A(NOTHER) CORALINE AU#I've only had creepy changeling willie who isn't entirely human anymore for 15 minutes#but if anything were to happen to him etc etc#alex does maybe like the whole 'being able to turn invisible' thing#except it doesn't work on Julie#for some reason#(*cough* Rose's great grandmother may have been a changeling)#Caleb of course is unseelie and rose's great great grandparents had trouble conceiving#they asked the fair folk for help and got a child... but then their child was swapped with a changeling after a few months#and they were all: um excuse we want our child back. No we're not giving this one back to you#tough shit a deal's a deal we gave you our magic music box for a kid and you gave us two no refunds because you screwed up#the story has been passed down for generations and Ray thinks it's a sweet fairytale#except there it's real and he's like: ... okay then. And then in true Molina tradition goes: *shrug* it's free children
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Hi everyone! Just as a blanket statement: Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! I hope everyone who celebrates Christmas has a wonderful day and that you spend the holiday in the way that makes you happy and that you enjoy. And for anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas or prefers not to, the same sentiment goes to you! I hope you have a wonderful and restful day!
Love you all!!
#I'm uh... still working on the not being anxious or having a borderline panic attack or just being in general not okay during christmas#and I'm hoping that doing this helps? idk I'm just glad I'm not having an entire breakdown like I did last year mdjwhcjiajsis I was not oka#and tbh this time of year is still really fucking rough for me but it is what it is some years will be better than others#I haven't cried this year (yet) so hey that's a win for me /lh#data log: personal
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The fact that today started to rain quite a bit after months because my Holiest Blorbo knew I'd hella pissed off and needed to calm down. Thank you G, you're the realest homie fr fr ๐
#i'm gonna kick Mike Shinoda's ass into oblivion actually#but yeah no i can't complain. i'm seeing the eeps and i'm hella privileged for having gone twice (twice!!! 2 whole times!!!) to a LP gig#i know there's probably one or two whole generations that have never had the chance and this would be their first so#i hope everyone enjoys it. Mike pls pls pls pls PLEASE pls pls i'm begging you. get Vessel on stage please i need this more than i need air#if Vessel plays a Linkin Park intro before Rain i'm gonna cry so hard#OH! PREDICTION TIME#we are getting an Espera LP cover. i know it. this was not what i voted for on their stories but i know it#no because i'm actually fighting off a big breakdown over this so if in a few days (or later tonight) you see me extra... whatever. well.#last time i saw them was in 2014. exactly 10 years ago. this is insane#i know the guys must be ecstatic to play with them. are you kidding me?? oh i'm so so SO proud of them (especially Ves and ii)#i know Chester would've LOVED the guys absolutely#okay no i can't go there cus i'm gonna get real sad and i can't rn. gotta wait until at least Friday to have a proper cry#ANYWAYS#it's raining a lot ๐ฅน๐ง๏ธ#darya talks to herself
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feeling very grateful for my mother and therapist who find it in their hearts to tell me every single time i mention therapy that i should "consider doing every other week" while denying that it's strictly a time/money incentive for them because i will always explain very clearly that i cannot do anything other than weekly and they'll go okay i get it and then next week ask me again. Like hearing this from my mom, whatever, she doesn't know my issues. hearing it from my fucking therapist, though?
#neg#we've established that i sometimes spontaneously want to kill myself sarah what do you think is going to happen#suicide tw#sorry. but like they're doing this shit AGAIN.#because i canceled under 24 hr advance she is charging a fee and she wrote me an odyssey of a text message like#do you want to go every other week also this helps us not breed resentment - r u fucking joking#and FINALLY my mom FINALLY told me that it's because of money that i should start canceling appts i dont need#but like. for ages she just refused to mention this to me so it was like Okay. well stop telling me to cancel for no reason then#like literally for the first three years of my therapy journey it was every other week but they'd cancel so it'd be#an hour once a month and it was absolutely horrible#so i'm not sure why everyone wants me to stop going to therapy now#just because i have friends and i'm generally happy doesn't mean that i don't have intense breakdowns jesus christ#whatever. no therapy today she can fucking rot#Time to work on an essay ^_^
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godddddd wasting time and energy on things that don't fucking matter has got to be THE worst feeling
#personal#i felt super embarrassed in my korean lesson today#because I didn't have a lot of time the last couple of weeks and I was trying to resolve the situation w the other tutor#when i should have just cut my losses and bailed#and look i know i'm learning there's literally no reason to be embarrassed etc but i am insane so that's not an option LOL#i should have somehow already known the contents of the lesson and therefore not needed the lesson hope this helps#but actually it was like i spent what little time i had preparing for the other lesson that was stupid and pointless rather than this one#and that just made me feel :( you know#in fairness to me my mental health was circling the drain literally until 2 days ago#so the last couple of days have just been like *sweeps up the carnage of various mental breakdowns and other insane behavior* LOL#but idk just generally feeling frustrated with myself even tho that's not super helpful#also frustrated that stupid bullshit has been taking up way too much of my time and energy lately#and it seems like the more i try to get the stupid bs out of the way the more it just dominates my life somehow#also super helpful that my brain's natural response to this state of being is 'well maybe you can't do anything right and should die :)'#like okay ty for your input LOL#despite how this sounds actually my korean lesson was REALLY good LOL#it was so good I just like got upset about wasting time on other bs you know??#anyway ty for coming to my nightly overshare i actually feel better now#love to shout into the void#exciting korean learning tag
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its missing old sasi aus/fics hours everyone
#the fanged!virgil aus#the winged!virgil aus too where he has to keep them a secret for fear of the other sides shunning him#duck out fics#lamp fics where one of them have a breakdown and the others endlessly support them#robot!logan fics#cat sides?? can we bring back all the sides becoming cats due to ridiculous and maybe stupid means for the laughs please??#that one lociet fic where janus takes lo to dance in secret every night#(i've mentioned that one before and i'll do it again. that fic singlehandedly made me a lociet shipper)#oh my god just. secret relationship fics in general. please i miss them#i want SECRET ROMANCE (perhaps of the forbidden kind) where they are happy and soft and happy to BE soft in private!!!#is this me maybe going back to analogical brainrot. mayhaps#fics where idioms become reality!! i havent seen one of those in a hot second!! where my literal idioms fics at!#the ones where virgil gets butterflies or roman gets hurt when his pride is wounded!!#or logan turns into a bird because thomas is being BIRDBRAINED!!#or patton turning into gold because thomas has a heart of gold!!#okay i made that last one up but its still a cool concept.#oh and those fics where virgil thought the others didnt want him so he tries to remove himself by OTHER means#and then it sparks a whole adventure where the others have to put themselves in dangerous situations in order to get him back#oh and also logun. have i mentioned logun. i want someone to give logan a gun again.#sasi would be SIGNIFICANTLY shorter if logan got a gun.
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finally legitimately sorting out my shit around my shop i have NO IDEA how ive been running my etsy since like 2019 and havent organised this before,,, i was relying on shitty little checklists in lost notebooks
#legit have no idea how things have been running so semi smoothly#im hoping that ill be able to do more cool things cause im trying to Organise myself#also sadly having to look at legit financing and profit/costs breakdowns....#previously ive kinda just threw myself into it and hoped it was running at a profit#which it has been luckily!!#im just trying to generally... organise myself a little here#Im going to divide up my time with portfolio stuff and like running everything over here#which means maybe more youtube vids!!! im trying out tiktoks/reels a little#feels strange to speak of these things here cause i feel like my tumblr presence is so different than everywhere else#tragically i am trying to actually make money from being an artist... making a living and all of that#i would also like to afford to do bigger and cooler projects!!#desperately want to afford printing some risograph zines#and prints#i also so so so badly want to do consistent youtube vids but god they take work#lots of ambition rn#okay this got so rambly#personal#piierrotes clown house
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playing disco elysium finally and uh. tell me the game takes a turn towards a dating sim and i can romance kim kitsuragi
#i liked him from the start but then we parted when he took the body to the station from the fridge :(#I was like okay no kim for today ok i get it :((#but then i decide to settle some personal tasks while he's gone and i fucking PASS OUT due to emotional breakdown lmao#and he comes immediately like hmm hmm drink some water. yes i came back. tell me what happened. hmm drink more water u dumbass#and I was like ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ#and just now how he showed that racist driver what's good and he was sooo cool he's so cool in general i love him#this game is soooooooo fucking good omg#(drops in here for the first time in days to say this and leaves again)#(oh and i should get my shit together im playing games as a sad form of escapism while i have Things to do. god.)#(I need to get my shit together FR like where's that volumetric shit compressor when u need it irl)#(uggggggghhhhhhhhhhh im so annoyed by myself im procrastinating My Life basically rn like I need to snap out of it at some point....)#(hopefully sooner than later ๐ค ๐ญ)#๐#disco elysium
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๐ค๐ฎโ๐จ
I am once again venting below the cut, please enjoy this Jacqueline in the meantime:
GOOD LORD!! CIRCULAR CONVERSATIONS ARE GENUINELY SOOO FRUSTRATING. I've had my new car for a WEEK and for a WEEK it's been the SAME SHIT between the hubbers and the MIL:
He mentions the car bc he's excited about it
She goes on an emotionally charged RANT about how concerned she is that we went and bought this car and how she's worried about all the debt we have and that we won't be able to "just vibe"
He assures her we went over everything (which we did) and that it's affordable for us (it being the bi-weekly payment)
It stops there. He laments to me. I reassure. I boost him the FUCK UP LIKE HE DESERVES TO BE! ๐ค
He brings up the car again with her in the hopes she'll be like I'm also excited about this for you!!
She instead once more lectures us on debt
He once again reassures her
He comes to me lamenting once more
I am stuck watching this circle and smacking my head against the wall
I love this man so much, and he does NOT deserve the shit his mother is giving him and I VERY MUCH DISLIKE that he is STILL SEEKING HER APPROVAL. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE WE DIDN'T BUY THE CAR FOR HIM!! WE BOUGHT IT FOR M E AND HE CO-SIGNED BC THE PAYMENT IS CHEAPER AND HE IS VERY EXCITED THAT WE HAVE A NEW, RELIABLE VEHICLE THAT IS SAFE FOR ME! HE'S HAPPY I'M SAFE!
And he's NOT explaining this bit to his Mom, and keeps being like w/e her opinion doesn't matter
BUT THEN THEY HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN
AHHHHHH
I hate circular arguments y'all. They make me want to explodE. My entire morning/afternoon has been reassuring the hubbers and trying to point out how the convo is circular bc he's looking for her approval and excitement but she is looking for Something Else BC she's worried about our finances. Guys, imma be real with you. This is an affordable payment for us. It's literally only coming out of MY PAYCHECK since it's MY CAR and they BOTH seem to be forgetting that and it's causing this stupid discussion that won't end until either:
He tells her he's heard her concerns and asks her what she's looking for (since despite his reassurances and walking her thru the process we went thru last weekend and showing her the numbers and how it all works out fine she STILL keeps voicing her concerns, to the point where I haven't even talked with her about it but am dying to yell WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US TO DO MARGE, GET RID OF THE CAR??? Because really, what WOULD you like us to do and it's presumptuous of you to assume we can't handle it and will need your help)
He tells her he's heard her concerns and asks her to just listen to his and please show some excitement because he's excited about it, so why can't you be
They let it die and never talk about it again the end OR
He understands that this is another one of those Margie being Margie scenarios and he's not gonna get her approval or excitement, and accepts that all he needs in this scenario is his OWN acceptance and excitement, and find a way to be OKAY with that
And I don't know how LIKELY any of these are going to be in the near future (and dw, I texted him that blurb already so hopefully it's on his mind and he makes good choices, good choices being either 1 or 4 bc this isn't gonna get resolved any time soon with my MIL's old fashioned REPRESS UR EMOTIONS ass ๐ค) so I am instead FUMING about situations OUTSIDE OF MY CONTROL bc as an outsider Incan see how it's going and after 4 years of therapy I can see what needs to be done bc I'VE BEEN THERE TOO
This situation has me so down it's making me wanna call and vent to my Mommy and that's how you KNOW it's yucky tbh
#dani speaks#dani vents#i don't often call my mom to vent these days bc she can be very similar to Richard's mom re: ur childs feelings#BUT MY GOD. I AM AT A LIMIT#anyway if u read the vent ty for reading I appreciate it ๐ฉท#we'll be okay! i know Richard will read those options and see what's going on and choose what works best for the time being#BUT MY GOD WATCHING THE CROSSFIRE?? IS STRESSFUL#I'M LIKE#THIS IS SO STUPID GUYS PLZ#anyway if anyone wonders why I wrote blinter the way I did#THIS IS WHY. I THINK PARENTS SHOULD MAKE UP WITH THEIR ADULT CHILDREN AND UNDERSTAND THE TRAUMAS AND THINGS#AND BE SUPER SUPPORTIVE#I THINK PARENTS NEED TO STOP THE AGE OLD HANDING OVER OF TRAUMA TO THE KIDS#GENERATIONAL TRAUMA IS AO FRUSTRATING AND SO EASILY AVOIDABLE BUT IT DOES ENOUGH DAMAGE THAT IT KEEPS GOING!#FUCK THE CYCLE ALL MY HOMIES HATE THE CYCLE#and if anyone is wondering. i am VERY excited about the new car#being able to drive again without breakdown anxiety and in a car that isn't crumbling to dust around me#is STELLAR! I WANT TO CRY HAPPY TEARS! I HAVE MY FREEDOM BACK! THE MONEY WE'LL SAVE ON SUDDEN REPAIRS#IS GONNA BE SO NICE#I'm ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ#it's just so reliving and I feel so annoyed that MIL doesn't see it like that and is focusing on 'startung ur marriage out in debt'#sweetie. I've been paying student loans for 5 years. We were ALREADY starting with debt and our payment plan is FINE#WE HAVE JOB SECURITY#OTHERWISE I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT#AND IF WE SUDDENLY DON'T#WE SELL ONE OF THE CARS#Boom. done.#ANYWAY. IMMA GO GROCERY SHOPPING NOW#BC I CAN BC MY CAR IS RELIABLE!! AH!#out of context jacquelines
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โAnd youโre the one who taught me to be brave Iโve never spent a moment loving anyone but you And maybe thatโs just something that people say But I hope that you know itโs the truth
Because I went downhill at such steep incline That my rearview mirror showed me only the sky And I laughed about it all nightโ
๐ฅ
โAnd I said โHey man, isnโt it poetic That the sky is what we leave behind?โ Because I was born into the world on a silken cloud And I got bored of the world before I hit the groundโ
@synthetic-lavender
#had a mental breakdown and all I could think about were these lyrics and they made me cry even more for obvious reasons. - ๐ก#(๐ก) marz/nep#tagging Freya because sheโd get it right away. - ๐ก#Iโm doing slightly better now but I had a huge mental breakdown that almost damaged me mentally and emotionally.#whatโs even weird is that when I cried so hard the rain came crashing down on us while we were in the car and the sky finally became bright#and sunny again after I stopped crying. Itโs still not as bright but itโs bright enough to make everyone feel better.#A rainbow just formed into the sky. itโs bright and colorful. Just right now.#It felt like me and the weather suddenly became one with each other. We became the same person. We felt the same pain. We felt the same#tears and aching and suddenly as the aching stopped a pretty rainbow formed in the sky reminding both of us that weโll be okay again.#reminding us both that weโre okay. - ๐ก#sorry for the. weird vent everyone. I hardly like venting on here and I donโt like venting to other people in general but I had to share#this weird experience I went to. It felt oddly comforting to me. - ๐ก#Spotify
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girl WHY did i have no emotion in all of these songs what the hell
#takes a deep breath. it's fine. that's just a note to make for next time#tbf one of these was like. right after i fucked up the dance number so i was trying really hard not to have a breakdown onstage#but also i think in general i just concentrate too hard on the song/dance and forget to emote#but it's okay! thing to remember and improve on!#.txt
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sorryvi forgot that it was ides i was bust having a huge oanick attack bevause my sister is the most worthless waste of life and uhm anywats enjoy w wood wednesday rant
#everyone getting so up in arms about it in the notes like . you are stupid#i love being a hater ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐#also hes right#any attempts at like discrediting him like just fall flat and the people rushing to defend the show#that wants to slash your wallet open its netflixthey font lkke you care about you its a shallow cash#grab and you fell for it so willingly and even dare try to be like โbut i uhh i like itโ okay have fun with#your terrible taste at least admit it and stop trying to act like its good#this show from what i know is like equally valuable to ai art#the kind if people that will eat up the ai generated marvel movies we are going to get eventually#there is nothing if value here its like the people saying โthis sucks :/โ are the spikes and warnjngs#of those nuclear waste deposit sites or whatever you know#whatever im being a hater because i hade a breakdown wanting to kill myself or#like rip the brakes out or the car and send my sister driving iff a cliff and dying in an explosion#because this is the second time she triggered and intense suicidal breakdown because shes#fucking worthless and horrible and evil#my head hurts.
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