#okay so at least it seems like that the boy’s motivations are very oriented by his sister which

[zorbs]

so i don’t have energy to make link click posts this week but my thoughts are in the tags. spoilers included

[imtrashraccoon]

Okay, The Dark Fortress Au concept: The boys let a sorcerer in and they curse the boys and transform for them into monstrous skeletal dragons and like they're able to shift down into anthropomorphic dragons at best and the curse is permanent after three years and the MC comes in after the curses due date and unintentionally woos the boys and I'm a sucker for angst and dragons so.

Oh my goodness! Dark Fortress my beloved! I keep meaning to write something more for this but I haven't had the motivation. I think you're referencing Beauty & The Beast? The parallels kinda match up so I'm rolling with it. I may have decided to try writing a little drabble cause this idea is very interesting to me...

Future Tumble Edit: Part Two is here! And the prequel is here!

The Dragons of The Dark Fortress

You didn't have many happy memories. In fact, your childhood had been ripped away when your country was conquered by a mysterious dark warlord. You had been lucky enough to escape but you didn't escape unscathed. Your mind was forever marked by the horrors you'd witnessed and tragically, you lost nearly everyone you'd ever known.

You swore to avenge what had been stolen from you. For years, you trained, honing both your mind and your body. You taught yourself how to wield a sword and how to fight.

Then, you set off for the Dark Fortress. You only brought your weapons, armour, and what supplies you would need for the journey. You weren't planning to return even if you did slay the dark warlord. There just didn't seem to be anything worth living for anymore.

The fortress itself was a lot larger than you remembered, being more akin to a mountain than a castle. Still, you were undeterred and continued onwards until you found yourself at the main gates. It took some time to scale the wall and you had to take a moment to catch your breath, but you were so close now.

A few minutes passed while you rested and mentally prepared yourself for the fight at hand. If you were lucky, you'd be able to locate him before he even realized you were here. It could take a while to navigate the passageways though, especially if you were being sneaky.

Just as you were rehearsing exactly how you would run the warlord through with your sword, an ear-splitting roar rang out. You turned just in time to spot a large blur whoosh past before it began to circle above you. You felt your stomach drop at the sight of the large beast that could only be one thing - a dragon.

It didn't give you time to come up with a plan before diving back down again.

You dodge rolled to the side, just barely avoiding his snapping teeth.

Unfortunately, you weren't fast enough to avoid it's wings or claws and you were dragged from the wall as the beast tumbled down into the courtyard. The impact knocked the wind from your lungs and it took a moment to orientate yourself.

You were pinned beneath one of the dragon's feet and it's claws felt like they were nearly digging into your flesh. It hurt to breathe and you could barely inhale without those razors pressing in further.

The dragon seemed at least partially skeletal, most noticeably in the head, but it's eye sockets were completely empty. A black substance was also perpetually leaking from it's sockets and dripping to the ground.

The beast leered closer until it's snout was nearly pressed against your face. You swear it seemed to grin at how terrified you were, as if it was enjoying tormenting you like this.

There wasn't anything you could do. You'd lost your sword in the fall and this beast was about to tear you limb from limb. You closed your eyes, resigning yourself to your fate.

"Stand down, Dirk."

The pressure on your body suddenly shifted and you risked looking around to see who the voice belonged to.

The dragon that had previously been pinning you to the rough stone was crouching not far away. It still had that unbearable grin plastered across it's skull but at least it didn't seem interested in mauling you anymore.

There was a large shadow cast from behind and when you turned to look, realized it came from another dragon. This one was larger and it's scales seemed to be covered in a tar-like substance. It only had one visible eye, with the other being engulfed in the tar, and it's cyan eyelight seemed to bore through you. With the way it's wings were folded over it's body and the way it held itself, you had a feeling this one was the leader or at least the stronger of the two.

Catching movement up above, you spotted two more dragons perching on the ramparts that were similar in appearance to the first one, although they had different coloured eyelights and one was missing a horn. All eyes seemed to be on you and the air felt charged with tension.

You turned your eyes back to the black dragon and slowly stood up.

It stared at you before leaning down and inhaling your scent. "What brings you here, mortal?" it rumbled.

Somehow, you managed to steel your nerves and keep from stuttering. "I came to avenge my country."

It tilted it's head and studied you for a moment. "All by yourself?"

You felt a wave of anger bubble up in your chest at it's taunting tone of voice. However, before you could retort, the black dragon chuckled.

"I admire your courage, however foolish it may be. Do you truly think you can slay me?" It stood up to it's full height and slowly spread it's pock marked wings in an intimidating display.

You shuddered and took a step back, only to bump into the dragon still behind you.

The black dragon stalked closer. "I thought not," it growled. "However, I can sense a darkness in your soul..."

You felt like you couldn't move, much less speak, or it would eat you alive.

"Pledge yourself to me and I will give you a new purpose..."

What else could you do but agree?

[plateauofmemories]

Okay, a collection of Speakeasy comments, including also spoilers:

About Maxim + Nika route:

I got that bad end the first time, and I did go back to see if changing my choice there could get me out of it. It could! Two sets of choices from that point got me a worse end, which was not as satisfying to me in the angst department as the first one I got, and a good end, which was very nice. I'm not sure how "ends" are counted in this game (there's not like, an end list/gallery) - only the good end got me a credit roll, so idk if the others were just dead ends, or if those are all/most of the endings for the Max and Nika route and it really only does diverge at that late point.

It's so funny to me in hindsight because like. If you look at the character profiles from the kickstarter, it lists their sexual orientations. If you play at least some of the other routes first, probably all of them, you get to see some of the relationships between the characters that already exist. I did not look at the character materials. I played the Maxim + Nika route first. And like, the third thing that happens in chapter 1 is Vincent, speakeasy boss and not one of the capturables of this route, tells us to get out so he can suck my love interest's boss's dick, and like. It took me completely by surprise. Cora is sputtering about the Greeks nonsensically to Milo and I am sitting there like sonic_whoa_he's_bisexual.jpg (which I knew about Max, but like, not Vincent). True moment of connection for me with the MC.

I also picked them first because I thought that I would like them best and that is true so far. This is also troublesome because like. I like them best. I'm doing other routes and I hit a boring spot and I'm just like. Where's Nika I want to hang out with Nika. It doesn't help that the answer to the question "where is Nika?" is probably "rotting in an opium den" 😔

Also this route made me feel a bit stupid because it's like. taking place in the 1920s. My aristocratic Russian lover tells me all his family is dead. What could have happened? And then later we get to a reveal and Nika says something about the Bolsheviks and it's like. Ah. The Russian Revolution. Is a thing that happened. Not that long before this game's timeframe. Sorry for being dumb, boys.

Also liking them best is true problem I started Silas's route and I had to stop and go replay the beginning of their route before I was like. Okay. I can move on now.

Silas's route

I played through this once and got a good end. I haven't felt motivated to go back and like, look for other endings. It was fine! He's sweet. Parts of the route are mad dumb though.

Made a post about this already but I was on edge thinking he was going to go yandere on me. He did not. Also Uncle Harry was the piece of shit behind the animal stealing.

Milo's route

Played this one tonight, got a good ending. Cora is a little more frustratingly dumb at some points in this route but I liked it better overall than Silas's. Got into some real sketchy illegal speakeasy shit in this one though (but that's pretty obvious going in). And I mean, obviously they all have illegal speakeasy shit in them, that's the whole premise of the game, but Milo is like, the enforcer, so it's a heavier serving.

I also did find it darkly funny after Vincent has done some Truly Heinous Fucked Up Shit to the bootlegger guy and then is looking around at his horrified crime family like. C'mon you guys what's all the fuss. His route is undoubtedly going to be unhinged.

I feel like I should have more but truly I am still just. Thinking Lots about Maxim and Nika. Also in the other routes it does seem that the cgs are all mostly nsfw but it takes longer to get to the porn. Max and Nika are fucking while Cora is watching by like chapter 3.

[insertsickusername13]

ahem: (this is long. sorry.)

I a hundred percent see where you're coming from, and I think the main difference between us is simply in the interpretation of a character. You said you like to consider why people did things before being mad at them, especially in fiction. I'm totally the same (but note: where knowing someone's motivation may lead you to forgive them, it doesn't always for me. Okay, most of the time it doesn't. I've very consequence-oriented, I don't care if she hated herself. She hurt people.) but, the problem with Chloe, is the more I think about it from her perspective ,the more I hate her.

Starting with Brooke saying her ex-bf cheated on her (at least in one version. I know it happened somewhere). I have no doubt in my mind that boyfriend cheated on Brooke with Chloe, for starters because she seemed to have absolutely no qualms with sleeping with Jeremy, and also because tbh it's practically canon that Chloe was in love with Brooke. Obviously. And she saw Brooke with boys and thought she was jealous of Brooke, and she had power because, as noted by the SQUIP, Chloe is the alpha and Brooke is the beta. So she gets the boy to cheat and suddenly Brooke is free of him and all hers again. Note: this gives her complete power over Brooke. Without an outside influence, all Brooke has is Chloe. Furthermore, Brooke is aware she's the beta---something Chloe probably convinced her of. So Chloe convinces Brooke she's a lesser version of Chloe and to prove it, she sleeps with every boy Brooke dates. Not only does this ruin Brooke's self-image, but it instills the idea that Chloe is the only one who loves her, the only one who ever can. And Chloe wants that because she wants to be loved (yet, she's convinced she doesn't deserve to be).

And let me tell you why this is unforgivable in my eyes:

My best friend dated boy #1, who I was friends with. She broke up with him for boy #2, yet remained friends with boy #1. While on a call with boy #1, I found out he was still in love with my best friend even though he was constantly supporting her in her endeavors to be with boy #2. Because he loved her. He didn't yearn to be loved, to have attention all on himself. He just loved her. Chloe doesn't just love Brooke. Above all else, she wants to be loved. In and of itself that's not a crime, but she 'earned' her love through manipulation and isolation.

Now, how I read it from Chloe's pov: She doesn't think she deserves love. No one will ever love her naturally. She's too much. Too desperate. To insecure, too unsure, too unsteady (and honestly, Jake is probably at fault for some of that---his ambivalence to dating probably left her groveling for his attention before learning to manipulate him into needing her). But Brooke seems to hold this admiration for her, and she's convinced she needs to preserve it no matter what because no one else will love her like that. No one. Seeing Brooke look at other people with that same starry-eyed look is gut-wrenching, because once again Chloe learns she's nothing special. No, worse, she's just nothing.

To me, that's not a good enough excuse. Because, as previously stated, she never loved Brooke. She just wanted to be loved, and she thought Brooke was the only means to that end. And to view someone as just that---as an existence that only relates to you, as an orbiting planet to be taken by some other, burning sun---is just cruel. All Brooke ever was to Chloe was the love she gave. She wasn't a person. And to do that to Brooke of all people, who throughout the entire musical seemed to be the kinder, innocent popular girl, is just so fucking terrible.

And I'm not even going to get started on the Jeremy situation. It's complicated and confusing, and whether or not you blame the squip or chloe for that whole thing, it's important to note that once again, she didn't view him as a person. He was a means to an end. I don't think it would've mattered if the squip was there or not, she needed him to cheat on Brooke to get her only sources of attention back: Jake and Brooke. She didn't care what happened to him. She didn't care if he wanted it. She didn't even care if they actually had sex or not---she just needed Jake and Brooke to think they did.

As for Rich, I think his situation was pretty similar to Jeremy's, and I do sympathize with Jeremy. He walked in wanting love, and he thought he found a way to get it. He didn't think it would hurt people. He didn't want to hurt people (unlike Chloe, who thought hurting people was the only way to be loved). He was lost and manipulated and used and abused, and it ended in consequences he will never forgive himself for.

They both may feel guilt for what they did, but Rich did it all by accident. Chloe knew what she was doing.

note: that's just my interpretation. all of this is subjective, which is part of the reason I don't think people can convince me not to hate her, bc all the facts they have are interpretations, and all the facts I have are interpretations, so it's really up to individuals to choose how they feel about her.

The pinkberry fic I want to read more than anything is 'the end'. I don't know, the more I think about Chloe the more toxic she seems. I analyze the way she behaved in canon and apply it to other aspects of her relationships and honestly, she's probably ruined Brooke's self-esteem beyond simple high school girl fights. Brooke probably bases her own value off of Chloe's opinion of her, and irreversibly so (to some extent), and I bet Chloe knows it, because she did it on purpose. I want a fic where Brooke begs in tears for Chloe to stay because she doesn't know anything but Chloe, because she's endlessly loving and forgiving and, as Chloe spent years constructing and perfecting, she's all Brooke has. And Chloe, finally, after everything, realizes the best thing she can do is leave. That the only way Brooke can ever learn to love herself is if she gets as far away as possible. As a Chloe Valentine hater, that is the only way I will ever see Chloe as truly redeemed.

[borkthemork]

So back in The New Normal, what I noticed with the whole “Are you okay, Anne?” scene was that there is one singular shot in the show that doesn’t seem to be used out of comedic intent.

And I’m talking about this shot.

This shot has been haunting me for a while. After all, there is way too much focus on Sprig’s concern and yet there’s no intent to make it comedic or anything, it’s almost as if it’s a pin of interest that the writers want us to focus on rather than connect it to Anne’s comedic line of “Okay, it sounds like a lot.”.

The more I think about it, the more I think about how there’s going to be continued emphasis on Sprig and Anne’s friendship this season just to see where they currently are. Through episodes like Thai Feud and Sprig’s Birthday, we’re probably going to go back to our roots regarding these two and their continuing friendship, especially now that new things have occurred to their status quo.

And that means these two are going to have to reevaluate one pinnacle thing that has made their friendship different from Sasha and Marcy’s from the beginning:

Honesty.

Spranne is a healthy relationship because these two don’t go through manipulation, omission of feelings, etc, but because these two are actively honest with each other and their emotions rather than just tip-toeing around it.

However, as the seasons went on, you might’ve noticed that this bit of honesty has started to become more uncommon. Or at least, toned down.

We first see it start to garner form in the beginning of Season Two’s premiere, and as the more lies, betrayal, and responsibilities start piling onto Anne’s shoulder, the idea of omitting the truth has become a massive contention that starts to get questioned at the end of The New Normal.

Which, of course, Anne brushes off.

But this is where the Sprig shot starts to make sense with this piece of context in mind. After all, Sprig is not the same boy who is not self-aware of Anne being in pain, he is now coming into Season Three as a frog boy in an Earth world who not only saw a lot of shit go down but even witnessed Marcy — one of Anne’s best friends — get stabbed through the chest.

He is now beginning to see that something is up with Anne. She is taking too much work, too much responsibility for them, and that means she’s not being honest with him about how much this hurts her.

And we all know what happens when honesty isn’t found in a relationship.

It leads to fighting, contention...

A feud perhaps.

Sprig’s Motivation - Why Him?

Thai Feud is an episode that surprisingly has a focus on Sprig, Sprig of all people, regarding the fact there is an opposing Thai restaurant that is trying to go against the Boonchuys and their restaurant.

It’s not Anne or Mrs. Boonchuy or Mr. Boonchuy being the main focus of Thai Feud’s episode summary since it’s their restaurant, but Sprig.

And why is that?

There are a few reasons we could try to understand from Sprig’s point of view. One, Sprig is very family-oriented.

We’ve seen this boy not only impulsively protect the people he loves but he wants to make sure that the people around him are safe, secure, and also still in the family group. Because this boy hates separation, especially familial ones (Stakeout).

Sure, he learned not to get involved with those kinds of affairs by forcing people to get along, but it’s still first and foremost that he likes to take initiative when his family or loved ones are in danger.

It makes sense if he wants to protect the Boonchuys and their business. After all, by extension of Anne being his bestie her parents are part of his family too, but what doesn’t make sense is why this sudden influx of interest in their business? Sure, the Boonchuys know how to cook, they probably had this establishment for a long time so they shouldn’t be all that worried, but Sprig getting involved out of protection doesn’t seem enough unless the restaurant itself is threatened with shutting down, which is possible but still not verified.

Right now, the only thing we’re getting from the summary is that more competition means more stress on the Boonchuys out of anything.

And I think the idea of stress on the Boonchuys is where the probable bigger motivation comes from.

Remember, Sprig has already noticed that Anne is not being honest with him about her stressors. She is taking a lot of responsibility for some things out of her control, and basically her way of action right now is to not say anything about her grievances but just focus on the actions at hand.

In the eyes of Sprig, the idea of a food truck threatening the family business — the Boonchuys’ own livelihood — is enough to indicate that Anne has now another source of stress in her life to deal with and that’s something Sprig doesn’t want to see with her. He doesn’t want to see her getting stressed over more things in her life and potentially have a breakdown over it.

He’s going to respect her privacy, sure, but if he wanted to find a way to help her not take anymore burdens into her life this would be it.

He’d find a way to help the restaurant, and that becomes his number one goal in Thai Feud.

Even though it doesn’t work out.

Fixer Upper - What the Heck is the Timeline?

If we want to understand what is happening with the timeline, we’re going to have to go through every piece of information we could that alludes to Thai Feud in question. This means putting all the screenshots we know of Thai Feud into order and using logic to see how everything fits into place.

So we know from the episode itself that there’s a feud between the two restaurants. Judging by the fact there is focus on a Customer #1 being part of the restaurant since Anne was little, there’s a probability that the customer itself is going to be important on the whole idea of being threatened by another business.

Whether that’s on a personal level where the Customer #1 decided to eat more at another restaurant, he decided to tell them details about the other restaurant in question, or a new restaurant business is starting to take away their customers, we don’t know.

But whatever happens, Sprig is going to hone in on it. And when he does, the calamity of trying to run the opposing food truck/restaurant out of business becomes his priority.

Now, notice how Anne is at the wheel of the truck and is going on a decline. Trucks and cars usually have hill start assists, either manual or automatic, meaning it shouldn’t be this easy for the truck to go at neck break speeds. Also, since Anne is not using the breaks I get the feeling the breaks are not working due to something Sprig did or have become completely useless due to how fast the truck is going.

Anne is also still in her worker’s uniform and there doesn’t seem to be another adult around to man the wheel. One could question that maybe she can finally drive due to the fact the girls retained their maturity as 15-year-olds regardless of them being aged down by Disney, but in the interview itself, Matt implies that she shouldn’t be legally driving that thing in the first place.

With all this in mind, it means Sprig probably busted into the truck itself during work hours and tried to do night deliveries so that they could beat the competition.

Of course, Anne tried to butt in but the truck was already on full blast when she tries to get him out.

Knowing how the truck already did a lot of property damage and is a breach in her family’s trust with her, I wouldn’t be surprised if Anne is pissed about the situation.

Look at how the trailer’s frame of the truck contrasts a lot with the next shot we get of these two.

These are separate frames going on, and the bodily expressions are enough to say a lot. Especially since this is probably the end frame of a tirade Anne did toward Sprig on what he’d done.

Anne is angry, pissed off, frustrated, and who could blame her? They’re in her family’s truck going 90 miles per second and basically destroying private property along the way. Her family is going to have to pay for everything, and not only that but once again this is a sign of broken trust between her and her parents regarding responsibility.

This is a very big breach and you could tell that this rant is directed towards Sprig since he has a guilt-ridden look on his face.

But also, if one looks at it closer, there’s something off about it.

With Sprig you usually get a fully guilt-ridden face, but here there looks to be a growing frustration on him that stops him being absolute guilty in this scene. Either this boy is now determined to stop the truck, or something is about to bubble and erupt out of the surface.

And I’m choosing the latter.

Look at how frustrated this boy is, and focusing on the lip syncs he appears to be talking as a response to what Anne had said.

If we go by the idea that the feud in the episode’s title is not only a reference to the restaurant feud but a feud between two friends, everything seems to click into place. Sprig tried to genuinely help around the restaurant. He tried to do stuff by himself or help out the family in anyway he could, but it ultimately lead to him going too far and making their truck go out of control.

Anne, pissed that they’re in this situation, is going to tell Sprig off for not only doing this stuff solo but doing it all without their permission. This will probably get Sprig riled up because he’s only trying to help.

Yes, it’s very legally wrong to take a truck around while you’re a minor and very under the working laws of the state, but he hates the idea of Anne and her family being stressed out by a business opponent and acted accordingly. He wanted to help because Anne already has enough on her plate, and this is where the talking of honesty comes into play.

Anne hasn’t been honest with him ever since The New Normal. She’s already become more proactive, but the way she’s doing it is telling them all that she could handle it, that she’s fine, that she’s perfectly capable of doing this all on her own.

And Sprig doesn’t believe it.

It’s concerning to him that she has to take on so much responsibility, that she isn’t being truthful with him when she needs help or when she just needs an open ear on what’s on her mind.

It’s concerning to him how the biggest keystone to their healthy relationship — honesty — is not being shown between them.

Overall Thai Feud might become not only an episode about Thai representation and foodie fights, but what happens when the dynamic of a friendship changes due to new circumstances out of their control, and overall tests the current stability of how Spranne functions post-True-Colors.

Where honesty is being threatened. Where trust becomes shallow deep. Where Anne doesn’t know how to reach out and find comfort in the people she loves after she held in everything that happened during the finale.

And Sprig is going to challenge that, head-on.

[theartofdreaming1]

Here is my attempt at portraying Peeta’s camouflage skills convincingly 😅😅

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 19-21 are below the cut.

heart

While I love all the banter between Katniss and Peeta, I think my favorite of these three chapters is: “Trust me. Killing things is much easier than this,” I say. “Although for all I know, I am killing you.” “Can you speed it up a little?” he asks. “No. Shut up and eat your pears,” I say. A classic 😄

mind

I always imagined that Cato went after Thresh before coming for Katniss and Peeta because a) Thresh took the backpack for District 2 (which contained the body armor that would make dealing with Katniss’s arrow so much easier) and b) Thresh killed Clove and Cato wanted to avenge her... Although I have no idea how Cato ended up killing Thresh... he was doing pretty well for himself in his grass-y area... Maybe the Gamemakers wanted to punish Thresh for not killing Katniss and generated that thunderstorm and rain to force Thresh out of his refuge, which would give Cato a fair chance to kill him, I guess...

soul

Lol, honestly, since Peeta just generally seems to be motivated by kindness and love/caring, I don’t think it took much for him to keep the star-crossed lovers angle alive (I could easily imagine him actually noticing Katniss in the willow tree early in the Games and offering to take care of the District 8 girl, so the Careers would get the hell out of there, away from Katniss)

Chapter 19:

Peeta, who’s been wounded, is now my ally. [...] I’d loathe any tribute who didn’t immediately ally with their district partner. Besides, it just makes sense to protect each other. - Honestly, this just highlights what a kind person Katniss is, despite her aloof front; her innermost instinct is always to stick together and to protect. Because it doesn’t really make sense for her to team up with Peeta - she knows he’s wounded and won’t be of much help to her, her chances of survival are way better if she stayed on her own, but it’s not something she’d ever consider now that they are allowed to form a team (and only then does she even factor in the whole ‘star-crossed lovers of district 12′ -angle)

Peeta, it turns out, has never been a danger to me. The thought makes me smile. - Aww 😊 (but also, how heart-breaking that the Capitol will do everything in their power to change that, to make Peeta become a danger to Katniss 😢)

He’s very hard to predict, which might be interesting under different circumstances - Okay, but this just makes me think of that exchange in Gilmore Girls when Paris and Rory talk about how you know a guy is right for you:  “Someone who’s compatible but not compatible.” “Yeah, kind of. I mean, you respect each other’s opinions and you can laugh at the same jokes, but I don’t know – there’s just something about not quite knowing what the other person’s gonna do at all times that’s just really exciting.” - fits these two to a T 😏

In fact, I’ve just about decided I’m on the wrong track entirely, that a wounded boy would be unable to navigate getting to and from this water source, when I see the bloody streak - Okay, but how flipping tough is Peeta?! He’s severely injured, with multiple tracker jacker stings and he drags himself to this terrain that is almost impossible to navigate for someone in his condition - a sturdy dandelion, indeed!

“You’re here to finish me off, sweetheart?” - What an entrance after having gone AWOL for quite a couple of chapters 👌🏼👏🏼

“Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.” I jerk my head back but end up laughing. “Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.” [...] “Katniss?” Peeta says. I meet his eyes, knowing my face must be some shade of green. He mouths the words “How about that kiss?” I burst out laughing - He’s lying in a river bed, slowly dying, and he can still make her laugh 😊

“You know, you’re kind of squeamish for such a lethal person” - It’s such a small comment, but I can’t help but think that Peeta is just kind of intrigued to discover all these little idiosyncrasies that make up the ever-elusive Katniss Everdeen ;)

Impulsively, I lean forward and kiss him, stopping his words. -  Aww, she doesn’t even want to consider him dying, so she spontaneously decides to cut him off with a kiss👀👀 Honestly, at this point Peeta has elicited 2 (!) spontaneous kisses  (the kiss after the chariot ride and this one) from Katniss, who generally isn’t that big on touching people

“You’re not going to die. I forbid it. All right?” - Stubborn, protective Katniss... But also reminds me of their rooftop “date” in CF and the “Then you’ll allow it?” “I’ll allow it” - exchange

I kiss him awake, which seems to startle him. Then he smiles as if he’d be happy to lie there gazing at me forever. He’s great at this stuff. - KaTNisSs, gurl... 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Chapter 20:

But I knew he was injured. And still I came after him. I’m just going to have to trust whatever instinct sent me to find him was a good one. - The very best of instincts, Katniss, don’t you worry😉

Peeta’s struggling to get up when I reach the cave. “I woke up and you were gone,” he says, “I was worried about you.” - Gah, why are the both of them so good?! They just care for and worry about each other 24/7

“How do you feel?” “Better than yesterday. This is an enormous improvement over the mud,” he says. “Clean clothes and medicine and a sleeping bag... and you.” Oh right, the whole romance thing. - Oh Katniss...😐 I reach out to touch his cheek and he catches my hand and presses it against his lips. I remember my father doing this very thing to my mother and I wonder where Peeta picked it up. - Where did Peeta pick this up? From a time his family was less dysfunctional? Observing couples in the town square? Or is he a fricking disney prince and these things come natural to him? Questions, questions...

“You didn’t sleep,” Peeta says. “I’m all right,” I say. But the truth is, I’m exhausted. “Sleep now. I’ll keep watch.” [...] I test his cheek. Hot as a coal stove. He claims he’s been drinking, but the containers still feel full to me. I give him more fever pills and stand over him while he drinks first one, then a second quart of water. - These two are just too stubborn to take proper care of themselves - good thing that each of them is adamant to force the other to sleep/drink/eat when necessary

“Besides I like watching you sleep. You don’t scowl. Improves your looks a lot.” - When presented with the choice of being flirty vs being a cheeky little shit, Peeta will choose being a flirty cheeky little shit every time 😂

“I’m going to make soup,” I say. “Don’t light a fire,” he says. “It’s not worth it.” - Okay, but what he’s actually saying is “I’m not worth it” 😭😭

Katniss telling that story about buying Prim’s goat😊... A young buck, probably a yearling by his size. His antlers were just growing in, still small and coated in velvet. [...] Beautiful. - We are all very much aware of Peeta’s appreciation for beauty, but the same does apply to Katniss, too (she’s just overall more pragmatic)

“Was it [the goat] still wearing the pink ribbon?″ he asks. “I think so,” I say. “Why?” “I’m just trying to get a picture,” he says thoughtfully. -  Peeta is so detail-oriented! I have this theory that this is actually something that enables him to overcome his hijacking; we catch glimpses in MJ of how he inches himself out of his condition by asking/focusing on small details or things most people would dismiss as trivial (Katniss’s favorite color, the color of her dress visiting District 7, her Dad singing the Hanging Tree when Peeta was 6 or 7 years old...) and I feel like it makes a lot of sense - his tormentors in the Capitol either wouldn’t have access to distort these moments or not even consider them to have any significance (since they are all about big, flashy gestures in the Capitol), so these memories would remain untouched. Luckily, Peeta seems to live by Robert Brault’s words: “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. “

“Really? What did you cost me again?” I ask. “A lot of trouble. Don’t worry. You’ll get it all back,” he says. - Well, he’s going to cost her a lot more trouble in the future - but we know he’s going to make up for it and bring her much happiness, too 😊

“You’re not risking your life for me.” “Who said I was?” I say. [...] “Of course I’m not going.” [...] “You’re such a bad liar, Karniss.” [...] Anger flushes my face. “All right, I am going, and you can’t stop me!” “I can follow you. At least partway. I may not make it to the Cornucopia, but if I’m yelling your name I bet someone can find me. And then I’ll be dead for sure,” he says. - Soo.. their love language is offering to sacrifice their life like it’s nothing, huh?! 😳😅 

Peeta eats without complaint, even scraping out the pot to show his enthusiasm. He rambles on about how delicious it is, - lol, sounds like a husband trying to get back on his wife’s good side after they had a row 😂

I clamp my hand over his mouth and nose hard, forcing him to swallow instead of spit. He tries to make himself vomit the stuff up, but it’s too late, he’s already losing consciousness. - Ah, the most important indicator of true love: having person A force-feed person B a sedative so they can run off to get them life-saving medicine ;)

Chapter 21:

I lie next to Peeta in the bag, trying to absorb every bit of his fever heat. It’s strange to be so physically close to someone who’s so distant. Peeta might as well be back in the Capitol, - Reminds me how in MJ she’s going to be so close to Peeta (mentally/emotionally) while he will be physically so distant (in the Capitol!)

a tiny orange one [backpack] [...] that must be marked with a 12 - Interesting how that backpack is orange, huh? Why is that? Are smaller backpacks generally orange (like the one Katniss already has) to be more visible or is this simply to connect the backpack to Peeta (though we don’t know his favorite color at this point)? Do the Gamemakers care whether Katniss gets a matching backpack? It just seems like an unnecessary detail to throw in🤔

The table has just clicked into place when a figure darts out of the Cornucopia, snags the green backpack, and speeds off. Foxface! - Honestly, this was a truly brilliant move; kudos! 👏🏼

[Clove] carefully selects an almost dainty-looking number [knife] with a cruel, curved blade. “I promised Cato if he let me have you, I’d give the audience a good show.” [...] “I think...” she almost purrs. “I think we’ll start with your mouth.” [...] she teasingly traces the outline of my lips with the tip of the blade. - Okay, but the idea of Clove cutting off Katniss’s lips is just all kinds of terrifying and disturbing 😨

“No! No, I-” Clove sees the stone, about the size of a small loaf of bread in Thresh’s hand [...] Thresh brings the rock down hard against Clove’s temple. [...] and I know she’s a goner. - Interesting how Katniss describes that rock that basically saves her life (or at least kills her assailant) as bread-sized, huh? “Your district... they sent me bread. [...] Conflicting emotions cross Thresh’s face. He lowers the rock and points at me, almost accusingly. “Just this one time, I let you go. For the little girl.” - Katniss mentions the bread from District 11 as a proof of her alliance with Rue (and the recognition of D11) and Thresh spares her; bread keeps saving her life (while it keeps representing acts of kindness)

Cato kneels beside Clove, spear in hand, begging her to stay with him. - I appreciate this small, humanizing moment with Cato

The last thing I remember is an exquisitely beautiful green and silver moth landing on the curve of my wrist. - I don’t know much about North American insects (not that I know that much about European insects either - just recently came across a relatively rare moth on my walks that I had never seen or heard of before) - is Katniss describing a special/noteworthy species of moth? Or is this a more literary symbolism kind of moth? (Just looked up some symbolism meaning of moths: change/transformation, seeking light; power of regeneration in some Native American mythology, hmm...)

[dragonsandwolvesohmy]

Animal counterparts- Merlin

Okay, I needed somewhere to put all this research and these feelings. Please keep in mind it's been a while since I watched the series, and got out of headcanons and fanfiction. And I'm very late to the fandom (I only joined like three years ago.) so don't shoot me. (or should I say burn me? Bad joke? bad joke.)

These boys are giving me much trouble picking a singular animal to represent them. I mean- look at this breakdown; (and not my mental breakdown.) -keep in mind some attributes don't apply to characters, but I'm listing them anyways-

Merlin: Badger (tenacity, cleverness, security, friendship, and gratitude. Fighting spirit- a badger would rather die than give up. Focus. Eager. Strategy. Tenacity. Defense. Protection. Confidence. Strong will. Independence. Determination)

or a Horse (strength, power, resiliency. Stamina, wisdom, freedom, wildness, intellect, and loyalty. adventurous, mobility, independence, friendship, and endurance.)

or a Wolf (Sharp intelligence, self-reliance, and an appetite for freedom. Perseverance, stability, intuition, loyalty, and success.)

or a Dog (Loyalty, bravery, friends, affection, protection, communication, patience, and devotion. Vigilant, faithful, and wise.)

or a Cheetah (Quick thinking, passion, flexibility, quick-witted, freedom, progress, and protection.)

Of course, a Dragon (Transformation, defensive, motivational, authoritative, magical, and strength.) would be an obvious one as Merlin's a dragonlord. There's others, but these are the ones that stand out the most to me.

Arthur: A Lion (Pride, courage, power, natural-born leaders, authority, dignity, wisdom, and fiery.)

A Hawk (Vision, alertness, nobility, cleansing, goal-oriented, strength, creativity, and courage)

A Falcon (Goal-oriented, fearless, authoritative, freedom, intelligence and victory.)

A Cougar (patience, observation, sensuality, courage, responsible, dependable, and spiritual warrior.)

Elephant (Strength, loyalty, determination, confidence, honor, pride, dignity, and royalty.)

Leon: A Dog fits him nicely, I feel, but here are some others I considered. An Elephant, a Wolf,

Ant (Diligence, unity, patience, self-control, sacrifice, loyalty and honesty.)

Goose (Joy, bravery, guidance, fertility, loyalty, reliability, teamwork, vigilance, and wisdom.)

Ox (Sacrifice, monogamy, grounded, longevity, strength and loyalty.)

-please note that most of these have loyalty attached to them and that's because I feel his loyalty is his core as a character. Feel free to disagree-

Reindeer (Accomplishment, abundance, endurance, strength, faith, tenacity and protection.)

Lancelot: Dog, Wolf, Ant, Cougar, Horse, Reindeer. But also

Koala (Gratitude, healing, calmness, trust, empathy, magic, protection and pleasure.)

Jellyfish (Faith, transparency, illumination, acceptance, sensitivity, protection and intention)

Penguin (Community-minded, grace, discipline, confidence, sacrifice, spiritual and determination.)

and my personal favorite and headcanon, a Hedgehog (Protection, flexibility, patience, kindness, strength and self-dependent.)

Percival: I think of Elephants when I think of Percival, personally- they're big and strong, yes, but they're also very gentle, community animals, and their quiet dignity fits his quiet character, from what I remember. But as Elephants have different symbolic meanings, I looked at others. Dog

A Bear seems obvious (Power, Bravery, understanding, peace, aggressive, authority, solitude and majesty.)

Orangatang (Creativity, gentle, solitude, ingenuity, honorable and logical.)

Camel (Endurance, trust, commitment, determination, focus, humility, patience, and durability.)

Rhino (Intelligence- I see this in his playful side, teasing Elyan and stealing chicken and all- isolated, decisive, endurance, liberated and insightful.)

Elyan: Elyan gave me the least trouble. While he shares a good deal of traits with the others, making animals like Dog, Wolf and Horse fitting, I see him as a Snake. (Impulsive, power, shrewdness, transformation, magic, fear, wisdom and healing.) There's also these, though.

Anaconda (Balance, immortality, patience, power, wisdom, cunning, and elusiveness) yes it's a type of snake, but a little different meaning.

Eagle (Goal-oriented, focused, adventurous, resilient, vision, power and freedom.)

Otter (Lively, cheerful, kindness, sensibility, dynamic and happiness) I see this one especially with the ghost of the druid boy, as well as

Monkey (Bold, confident, social, compassionate, playful, aggressive, creative and rebellious.)

Gwaine: Here we go, Gwaine gives me complex feels when it comes to picking an animal, much like Lancelot. I can see Dog, Wolf, Monkey, Otter, Cheetah, Camel, Reindeer but also

Bull (Fertility, expressive, strength, courage, procurement and hasty)

Jaguar (Power, loyalty, speed, strength, grace, knowledge, fertility and rejuvenation)

Rat (Kindness, fertility, foresight, intelligence, abundance, strength, success, and stealth.)

Squirrel (Playful, social, balance, passionate, trust, hardworking, and resourcefulness)

But I personally see Gwaine as a Fox (Quick-witted, wisdom, luck, cleverness, curiosity, cunning, adaptability, and playfulness.)

There's a lot of overlap between animals suited for characters, as well as personality aspects shared between them. A birds of a feather situation, perhaps? I don't know, but it's interesting they can all share some possible animals despite being such different people. Feel free to argue, agree, or put forth your own ideas, this was just me spitballing ideas at 3 am for reasons I no longer remember. Plus I'm relatively new to the fandom, and don't know the characters too well yet.

[delu-jean]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨: 𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

(Jean x fem!/reader) -> Angst -> 3.1k words 

Ⅰ> Ⅲ

‘What is this?...it feels so...warm…’ your eyes fluttered as you felt a presence. The comfort of that heat held you while laying limp. It wasn’t a familiar feeling, but even so, it felt like it was. 

Before you could say anything else, the warmth was now gone. Confused, you tried moving your body, but instead, it froze. With no type of heat, your body started to ice. Instead of struggling, you accepted it...something you wish you didn’t end up doing.

Your eyes opened to then see Bertholdt’s head. He was carrying you elsewhere as you watched people surround you. It seemed as if both him, and the other two were in a rush to get somewhere, however, you decided not to question and trusted them instead. 

What felt like two seconds, was apparently two hours. You woke up to see the three in front of you. Confused by what had just happened, Reiner sighed and decided to explain. 

“We stole from some merchants earlier, and since you were sleeping, ‘long legs’ needed to carry you.” 

“I wasn’t much help though. I probably should have just let Reiner grab you.” 

“Yeah, you should have.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m a little heavy so-”

“No, you’re not. I’m just, not as strong. But don’t apologize, you seemed like you needed the rest. So I’m glad you got some.” 

“If you don’t mind me asking, where are we now?” 

“Apparently, this is ‘Wall Rose,’ the second interior. When it comes to this place, I’m not quite sure when it comes to specifics. But what matters is that we have food, we’re together, and we make up a plan.” 

Before Reiner could speak any further, he sat there in silence. It looked like he had something on his mind, along with the other two. You decided to avert your gaze elsewhere, to then see that brunette yet again. 

You decided to smile at the boy which seemed to confuse him. Even though he had such a puzzled look, your attention shifted after hearing Reiner clear his throat. 

“Okay, so I have a plan-”

` “Should we even listen to your plan? Look where all of your plans have gotten us,” Annie barked with an annoyed tone. 

Reiner scoffed and came back with: “Then I’m assuming you have a better one? Or rather, if you even have one.” 

“Let’s not fight…” Bertholdt said while holding back Reiner

“Yeah, let’s not.”

“You’re right. Well anyways, my idea is for us to join the “Scouts.” Apparently, they were the people with that odd gear. I think we’ll have a good opportunity to learn what we’re up against, build thought out strategies, and overall, get a step closer to retrieving the Founding Titan.” 

“It may not sound like much of a step, but at least it’s something. And Y/n, don’t worry. I know you may not have any titan powers, but we’ll do our best to keep you safe. You’re one of our friends after all.” 

Although you weren’t sure about the plan, you decided to have faith in Reiner. It’s better believing you had one chance versus none. You didn’t worry too much though. Even if you weren’t the “best” when it came to fighting, it’s not like you had no capability whatsoever. 

You were a quick learner, and a perfectionist. In Marely, although you had prepared for wars, you were in the military for too little (meaning you never had the chance to go to an actual war). Because of this, you didn’t really have any motivation to build your skills, but knowing that you would need them to help you survive, sparked your utmost concentration. You could go the distance, you knew that for a fact. And the least you could do was protect yourself, to get out of their way at least.

“Okay then it’s settled. The next thing we need to do is join the scouts.” 

Time Skip

You spent the next couple of years training with Annie and Reiner. Bertholdt tried helping every now and then, but decided it would be best if he focused on his skill (since he thought he was lacking). 

They taught you the most they could with combat, and handling blades. Since they couldn’t get their hands on actual ODM gear, they instead substituted with long sticks. A bit heavier than the blades themself, but beneficial. 

“Y/n, camp starts in a couple days. The guys and girls will be in separate quarters, but if you ever need one of us, be sure to come to our bunker. We’ll show you where we are after getting assigned.” 

“Sounds good.” 

‘Wow...after all this time, I guess the journey begins.’ 

First Day Of Camp

“Annie, Annie where did you go?” you whispered feeling frustrated. 

It was orientation day and she was nowhere to be found. The boys didn’t seem to know where she was either, and well...you didn’t want her to be alone. So you decided to move your legs and do something. Unfortunately in the process, you bumped into someone, which caused them to collide into someone else. 

“OWW!! WATCH IT WILL YOU!!”

“S-sorry,” the black haired freckled fella said.

The person in front seemed very upset. You heard him say something under his breath, but didn’t ask what. He stood in such a way which agitated you. It was just a mistake, what was his problem? You caught a glimpse of his back side. Somewhat lanky, short light brown hair, along with an undercut? Yeah, you had to keep that look in mind while here. 

After pushing that thought away, you tapped on the other person’s shoulder.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that. I was trying to look for someone, but ended up causing trouble for you.” 

“It’s okay...I think he’s just a little roughed up because of the commander. He wasn’t exactly nice to either of us. I’m just glad that segment is over if anything.” 

“Haha speaking of the commander, it looks like potato girl isn’t on his good list.” 

“Yeah..but she’ll be fine. Aww but lucky, wish I got a potato in,” you both giggled at his statement, to then see the commander eye you both, which made the two of you stop immediately. 

‘But speaking of the commander, I remember...ah I don’t remember his name but, that boy mentioned something about joining the interior. Maybe I should bring it up to Reiner, see what he thinks about it,’ you thought to yourself. 

Later Into The Evening

The two boys and you had discussed things over dinner. Annie decided to sit by herself, saying she needed some time alone. You respected that and sat with the boys eating whatever was served.

Bertholdt seemed a little worn out, but being both concerned for you, and uncomfortable (because of the silence), he decided to ask you questions. Things such as: “How are you guys?,``'' “Did training go well for you Y/n?,” “Learn anything new?”

Your answers were quick and short. It’s not that you didn’t want to talk to Bertholdt, rather, your attention was drawn somewhere else. A fight started to break out, and you couldn’t help but bud in. Playing judge wasn’t one of your specialties, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t incapable of doing so. 

While listening in, you started inferring things. For one, the guy who started the fight was a jerk. Making fun of the other kid and bringing the events of Shiganshina into it, that wasn’t very nice. But then at the sametime, that second boy made it hard for you to feel empathetic. 

He just seemed so brash and hot tempered. It looked like he wanted to start a fight by running his mouth off. Both seemed to be at fault in their own ways. Regardless, at this point, the volume was too grand for you not to look. So you did. 

Although you couldn’t see them both very well, the boy in the back looked like that brunette...but you weren’t sure. You tried getting a better view by standing up and watching the two bicker. Reiner stopped you, thinking you wanted to involve yourself in the conflict. 

“Y/n, it’s none of our business. Plus, remember who the enemy is…” you halted to then see the two “resolve” their differences. 

You were glad that it was over, but then saw another person had arisen. A girl who looked all too familiar walked past the other boy. You then heard him mumble a couple things here and there, which made you giggle a tad. 

“It’s just, I’ve never seen such pretty black hair,” a blush spread on his cheeks. 

“Thanks,” she said bluntly. 

She then walked out following the other person. To your “surprise,” so does the undercut, and that being the case, you decide to walk out and listen in. You finished dinner anyways and what better way to kill time. There was silence for a bit, but then you heard someone exclaim: 

“HEY, WHAT DID YOU WIPE ON ME!?” 

“Nothing...just my trust.” 

You laughed a little at the situation. He was probably upset that a cute girl ended up cruising with some guy he had just quarreled with. You thought about it, and to be honest, you would’ve been pissed as well. You started to realise the resemblance you had with some of the Eldians here, this being an example.

Because of that, you decided to let down your guard for once (thinking of it as a “special occasion”). You opened the door once you heard the other person leave, and then stepped outside. You stood behind him and heard the words: 

“What do you want?-”

“Nothing, just someone to talk to I guess.” 

“I-I’m sorry about that,” he straightened himself. 

“I thought you were one of my buddies. I didn’t realise you were a gi-...someone else.” 

“Well, now you do,” you chuckled and then stared straight at him. 

“Wait a second, you’re that guy from earlier. Who yelled at the freckled boy. Know this, it wasn’t his fault he crashed into you. It was mine. I apologize for that.” 

“Honestly, it’s fine. I’m over it anyways. Plus, mistakes are mistakes.”

“Mhm, they most definitely are. Speaking of which, you definitely made one earlier. You shouldn’t have mentioned Shiganshina in such a brash manner. You know, the girl you like is from there. So try to be more sensitive regarding the matter.” 

“Wait, how do you know?”

“I was...there.” 

“I also interacted with her…” this sparked an idea in your head. 

Since you wanted something to entertain you, know more about Eldians, and maybe even befriend one, what better experiment than this? It helps you kill time, and you could possibly help someone out. 

“She doesn’t mind me. You know, that being the case, and knowing you like her...I could help you out. Get you into her good books and what not.” 

‘Hopefully I can get closer to her in general. She seems like an interesting person.’ 

He seemed a little reluctant, and because of that, you decided to say: 

“That brunette’s already in the lead as of right now. With my help, you could possibly catch up, or even better...surpass him,” you now had a cheeky grin plastered on your face. 

“Ugh, I guess I really don’t have a choice,” his ego just wouldn’t let him. 

You grabbed his hand and shook it. 

“You better not wipe off this trust. You can put your faith in me, so don’t worry too much, okay?” 

He sighed and you beamed. Before you could ask/say anything else, you then felt Bertholdt grasp your other hand, tugging it. You let go of the person’s hand, and walked towards Bertholdt. 

“Let’s get going Y/n,” you nodded in agreement following the other two. 

“Just what are you planning?” Reiner asked playfully. 

“Ohohoho, you shall see!” 

“I’m betting on Eren,” Bertholdt exclaimed. 

“Eren, who’s that?” They both laughed and then looked at you. 

“Just where was your head today? Ahh, Eren in the brunette, and Jean, the boy you shook hands with.” 

“Jean...I like that.” 

Jean POV 

‘Y/n?...That's a cute name. Her hand was so small compared to mine. Was that her boyfriend? OR were THEY her boyfriends!? No, stop Jean. You’re thinking like a maniac. But thank goodness she’s going to help me.’

Time Skip (Still In Jean pov)

I walked to the training grounds, and watched as Y/n and Mikasa conversed. Seeing them talk made me nervous (not knowing about what was being said). Regardless, I tried to keep my cool and sat on a rock, trying to flex my better angels to Mikasa. 

I’m really glad Y/n decided to talk with me that night. Although I DO HAVE MANY FRIENDS (I’m not lonely for goodness sake), having her there comforted me. We were able to talk about almost anything. She clarified Bertholdt was like her older brother, along with Reiner (no two timing fiasco). I got to know her interests and vice versa. 

She helped me out with dual wielding, and I, ODM gear (she was surprisingly flimsy with it).  Spending time with her was interesting. Although we talk for what seems like hours, I’m not dumb. I’m smart enough to know that she had built some type of boundary. Of course everyone had their secrets, but she always seemed so reluctant, hesitant, and well...one edge. Maybe it has to do with Shiganshina, she was a survivor afterall?...well I’m assuming. I still have more to learn and hopefully, she’ll give me that chance. 

I continued to watch the two converse. Changing my approach, I decided to move in a little closer. That way, I could hear a bit about what was going on. I sighed to then see Annie block me (surprisingly). 

“I see you’re paying close attention to Y/n. Or is it that black haired wench you’re oozing over?” I jumped a bit to see Y/n approach. 

“This twerp was spying on you. Be careful Y/n-” 

“Spying? OOOOOOoooo,” Sasha teased and skidded towards us (along with Connie). 

“Hehe, your boyfriend was admiring the view,” Connie winked as I glared at him. 

“HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND. But maybe Mikasa’s to be~” 

“Wait, really?” I questioned as she winked at me. 

“Hmmm, oh I see. Y/n wants Jean to get with Mikasa, so that she can get with Jaegar. Ehhhh, a strategist in the making! I like it,” Connie snorted as Annie tails in. 

“That would explain why you stare at him so often. I’m not going to lie, I do find that kind of weird.” 

“WHAT!!” I shrieked a little louder than expected. 

“IT’s nOt LikE thAt! I can guarantee you, it’s for different purposes!! I SWEAR!” 

I was honestly hoping that was the case. Y/n and Eren? Like crap. He’s so full of himself, “killing all of the titans?” Yeah right. Y/n deserves someone so much better than that...someone who will put their pride to the side, and get to know her on the same level. She’s a great person. Someone who empathizes easily, a very well spoken lady, understands the feelings of others, and truly cherishes those she loves. 

‘No, stop it. You shouldn’t be thinking about that. I like Mikasa...let’s think about her instead,’ As long as she doesn’t get with someone like him/Eren himself, things should be fine...right?

“*sigh*, okay okay, whatever you say.” I then walked off as the other two raced to my direction. 

Original POV

You weren’t going to lie but, Jean probably despised the idea of you hanging out with Eren. Even if you weren’t doing it alone (because Armin and Mikasa were there), it still pissed him off. You couldn’t help it though. You wanted, no, needed to understand Eren’s character more. Along with the other two. 

Something about those three made you...nervous. Observing them helped you understand these Eldians from a deeper standpoint. Yes talking with Jean was lovely, but he seemed to be missing a factor that these three (and just about everyone else) had. That was fear. You knew Jean was one of the luckier ones. He had a family, warm bed, and everything anyone could ask for. 

Whereas the rest didn’t grow up with such things, or, had horrendous experiences. Of course you had somewhat of a good child, though it wasn’t exactly rainbows. But that was beside the point. Being with them taught you just how determined they were when trying to fight the titans. Seeing how each had resentment for what they had done, terrified you. Eren’s anger scared you the most though. That burning fire in the brim of his eyes, was one no one could put out. That being the case, you’d rather be on the safe side of that flame,  and not the opposing. For now at least. 

That’s why you tried your best to understand him. Along with Mikasa, and Armin. You three were close enough to converse, but that was about it. You made sure to keep your guard up. Reminding yourself that their hate against their enemy, would one day also be yours. That ultimately, Marely was against them and you being from there...meant you were too…. 

Even though these thoughts held you back, you also had moments where you were able to let through (which gave you a little hope in these people). You and Mikasa were able to interact more. She didn’t seem bothered, nor unbothered by you trying to get to know her better. You brought up Jean a couple of times, hoping things would go well. She seemed somewhat open (yet opposed) to the idea of them being friends. 

Honestly, you weren’t sure if things were going the way you had promised, but progress was progress. Yet at the same time, did you really want things to go the way they were planned?-

‘Stop that,’ you sighed at your childish thinking. Of course you wanted things to go according to plan. 

You decided to run and catch up with the others. Jean patted your head with a discouraged look on his face. You raised an eyebrow wondering as to why, but kept quiet. 

“You better have different intentions...Eren is no good-”

“And you are?” he paused and shot you a look you’ve never seen before. 

“Whaaat? I’m just joking,” you remarked as he awkwardly patted his nape. 

“Haha yeah, of course you are,” you both laugh to then see Bertholdt scurry over. He seemed anxious, so anxious to the point you knew you needed to check on him. You quickly ran the other direction and approached Bertholdt. 

“Y/n...damn, I shouldn’t...no...I really shouldn’t be doing this, but you need to trust me.” 

“Trust you?-” 

“Whatever you do, don’t get killed. Stay alive, and alert. Stick with Jean, Eren, Mikasa. Anyone for the matter...okay?” 

“Bertholdt, what’s going on?-”

“Just promise me, okay?”

“Okay...I will.”  

Chapter three will be out soon!! 

Ⅰ> Ⅲ

[dani-of-the-cosmos]

*how the signs are acting during quarantine*

~with a touch of unsolicited advice: my venus in cancer’s specialty~

<3 pick your sun, moon, rising, mars, mercury, venus, or dominant sign <3

aries

overall, restless. the day seems to drag on and on, and they cope with it by playing video games and snapchatting someone every 20 seconds. self-hatred lingers in the back of their mind, because of all the time they have to analyze themselves. at random times (usually at night), they may be hit with big waves of profound emotions, where they just need to cry it out and acknowledge how lost they feel. may wonder what their purpose is, or where they fit in in the big scheme of the world. gets philosophical, but not in that condescendingly vague, optimistic way--they truly want answers, because the nothingness is just getting to be too much.

taurus

is actually doing pretty okay. is reading a lot about how they can improve themselves, and probably have a few google docs open with plans on how to upgrade their life. they’ve probably started a garden of some sort, or bought some plants to take care of. the day may seem to pass by quickly for them. they fill their time with watching movies and discovering new recipes to cook. has started getting more sleep, which makes their alluring eyes even more beautiful. the downside is that they may feel a bit groggy, or their head feels heavy, because even the most security-loving, routine-oriented zodiac sign needs some variety. 

gemini

getting really excited about all these new methods for self-improvement: exercise, mental health, new projects, clearing their skin, etc. is consistent with these newfound activities for a few days, then gets annoyed when they don’t have 45 inch hips, a 22 inch waist and graceful, 11-shaped abs after less than a week of the chloe ting hourglass program. talks on the phone as they sit on the toilet. watches youtube videos about how to achieve the glow-up that they crave, but can never commit to a single video’s advice. wants something exciting to happen in their life, so they lean into their big emotions and taboo curiosities to compensate for the lack of stimulation. on their phone a LOT.   

cancer

has gotten even more beautiful since the quarantine started. loves the simplicity they’re getting accustomed to, but also constantly worries if they’re “making the most” of all this free time. probably will scold themselves after all this is over for not being more disciplined during self-isolation. goes on walks outside a lot, and finds that connecting with nature significantly boosts their mood. observes the quiet beauty around them as a way to cope with the universal chaos of our world. since cancer tends to be a very empathetic sign, they may feel like a sponge for fatigue and suffering whenever they read the news. being aware of the world is great and necessary, but take care of yourself, cancer. know when to take a break from the news.

leo

is really excited about reinventing themselves--they want it all! new clothes, improved mindset, cleaner room, a kinder social circle, new hair--the works. they want to bust out of quarantine looking even more striking than before, with a wardrobe reflecting their new style. probably has either already done something drastic to their hair (like dying it, or the dreaded 2 am impulsive bangs cut), or is at least seriously considering it. really wants to get out of their house and camp out on the beach or something--they miss seeing their friends face-to-face, and try to make up for it by calling them to hear their voices. is irritated that they happened to be born at a time where the pivotal years of their life are being wasted by such an awful series of world events.

virgo

has upgraded their bedroom to look as aesthetically pleasing and soothing as possible. their social life has most likely downsized to 2-3 super close and genuine friends that they call, text, and/or facetime with daily. since virgo is a mutable sign, they’ve probably done a great job adjusting to their surroundings and are helping their family with domestic tasks. however, they may feel anxious, and unsatisfied with their current mindset and resources, so they feel the urge to expand their horizons and feed their genius mind as much as possible! it may be hard to find motivation, virgo, but the world needs a physical manifestation of your potential right now. if you have an idea you want to pursue but are too scared to, take the plunge. this sounds cheesy and cliche but, this is your sign to start!

libra

reminisces a lot about the past. thinks about how they would have handled past situations differently, and mentally shames themselves for it. is probably doing a lot of self-reflection, which is good for their sweet hearts and furthers the progress of their mental health, but also depresses them, as libra energy tends to be highly critical of itself. sleeping in too late and talking aloud to themselves at ungodly hours of the night. finds their mind going on the philosophical route more often than usual. might be posting passive-aggressive mood quotes on instagram

scorpio

is actually exercising pretty consistently like they said they would. their body has been getting curvalicious and toned, and to that i say WOOHOO GO SCORPIO! however, they’ve probably completely messed up their entire sleep schedule, and may be practically nocturnal some days. probably feels really emotional at the moment, and is overwhelmed with the amount of pain in the world that they wish they could singlehandedly stop. may be pretty loner-ish at the moment, and is probably not very active on their social media, because they’re realizing who their truest friends are. scorpio does well with transformation (they’re ruled by pluto, the planet of regeneration) so rest assured, they will emerge from quarantine new and improved! 

sagittarius

is eating too much junk food. sagittarius, if you’re reading this right now, PUT DOWN THE CHIPS BUDDY BOY. is probably finding ways to hang out with their friends in person, like yelling across the sidewalk to them while wearing a mask. has been super active on social media regarding current social justice issues. feels enormous compassion for the oppressed and has been signing petitions at the speed of light. probably getting in fights with their family and being a little feistier than usual. i can’t blame them though...sagittarius is a sign that needs entertainment, so they’re gonna be a little punchy in this stagnant yet catastrophic time. 

capricorn

has established a daily routine that keeps them feeling grounded and stable. they may realize how little they’ve actually prioritized their own joy in the past, and they’re using quarantine as a way to get to know themselves again. purchases luxury pajamas and is most likely drinking a hot beverage in a mug right now. probably on a health kick. is getting even closer with their closest friends, and basically forgets about acquaintances. cuddling their pets a lot (or fantasizing about adopting a pet if they don’t have one). misses putting on mascara and stepping into that cute skirt, because that sPeCiAL pErSoN isn’t there to see it lol

aquarius

thinking about ways they can make money. getting bursts of hyper inspiration to flip their life around and start working super hard for their dream life. is masking hopelessness, and finds themselves pondering the fragility of human life. may experience thoughts of nihilism that they don’t act on, and is increasingly worried about the state of their environment. is stuck between feeling motivated and believing in their ability to positively transform, and getting depressed and detached from their earthly obligations. 

pisces

probably painting their nails a lot. is finding ways to put a little spice of excitement in their life--like making a nice breakfast (at 4 pm, which is like an hour after they wake up lately), giving their pet a concert of them, naked, singing ski mask the slump god songs into a hairbrush they’re pretending is a microphone. stares at themselves in the mirror for too long, letting their insecurities get the best of them. has probably gotten in touch with their grandparents (or any other relatives they usually don’t keep in close touch with) over the phone. may be dealing with worsened anxiety and feelings of depression at this time, and sleeps a lot to try to escape it. their room might be pretty messy at the moment as well, which they’re overly hard on themselves for. pisces: you are such a uniquely sweet and tender soul. take it one day at a time and never underestimate the power of reaching out to someone <3

[vaguely-concerned]

Any tips for a TF POV fic? I want to write one because I too went through a time in my life when I let feelings bounce off cuz that was easier, but I feel like that's not quite on point for him 🤔

God I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about this and they’re all so wordless and frustratingly evasive to me yet (I am in the process of writing a looooooong T.F. POV fic and it gives me much more trouble than Graves POV, probably because as a person I’m quite a lot more like the T.F. Type in real life lol). But yes, here we go, let me try to express some of what I personally try to have as my hm ‘anchor points’ for his perspective. (Heavy disclaimer that these are just my personal & disorganized little musings and by no means the only or ‘correct’ way to read the character!)

- First of all I agree, the image of ‘bouncing off’ doesn’t feel quiteright -- it’s in the right neighbourhood but the wrong address sort of thing, but it’s really hard to come up with a way to explain how I feel the nuance here.

*insert three hours later spongebob meme here* Okay, so the metaphor I came up with is: T.F.’s relationship to emotions is a direct parallel to his relationship to water/the ocean: it’s scary down there, it’s dark, it’s dangerous, and if he should ever be dumb enough to try to go in too deep it’ll kill him dead because boy oh boy on so many levels this man just did not learn how to swim. As far as he’s concerned any sensible person would simply bob along on the surface in a sturdily built boat and try not to think too much about the weird shit that lives down there in the depths. (In this metaphor the layer of artifice and performance so habitual it’s basically integrated into the fabric of his soul is the boat. Y’know, the part that’s Twisted Fate and not just plain ol’ Tobias. I’ll hasten to add that I think both parts of his identity are equally ‘real’ and equally him, but the Twisted Fate part is like… protecting the Tobias part. Keeping him from drowning, as it were. I’m not sure he’d think of it like that himself for the longest time, though, I suspect he has more of a ‘that man is dead’ attitude towards the Tobias part after Graves is gone)

I think what I’m trying to get at is the idea that to him, raw emotion is as hostile and unknowable and unnavigable an ‘environment’ as the deep ocean. (And the only time we see him willingly go there, physically and otherwise, is for Graves, so you know let’s jot that down first of all lol.)

- He seems to genuinely quite like and be interested in people – how they think, what moves and motivates them, their secrets and foibles. So I tend to try to keep the uh ‘detail work’ in his POV focused in that direction. Priority going like 1) people 2) people’s valuables 3) the relative availability of people’s valuables at this moment if you have clever hands and a very charming smile haha

- One of my favourite things about T.F. is that he seems, I don’t know… quite genuinely good-natured beneath it all? If you back him into a corner some sharp and dangerous things peek out (he has survived in his line of heh ‘business’ for like thirty years, and a lot of it on his own), but for the most part and when unthreatened he has a sort of mildly amused and intrigued live-and-let-live attitude to the world even as he’s conning it that I find deeply charming. Which to me ties in with:

- T.F.’s first instinctive reaction to danger (perceived or real) the majority of the time seems to be ‘Flight’. Confrontation and violence are basically his ‘when literally everything else has failed’ options. (As seen prominently in Burning Tides, where he just keeps running and running and the only time he actually starts throwing punches is when he has to because Graves is in immediate danger and they’re backed into a corner. Which feels like it means something huh lol, I often think about what could actually make T.F. angry enough that he would openly express it and that seems to be the most likely angle for it in my eyes.)

- My take on one of the fundamental differences between Graves and T.F. is that Graves has A LOT of feelings but doesn’t quite know it (or more like can’t quite conceptualize it I should say) – he has a hard time identifying or finding vocabulary for feelings that aren’t some shade of anger. Meanwhile T.F. KNOWS he has feelings, he just doesn’t like it, ardently wishes he didn’t, and will do pretty much anything to run away and not have to engage with them haha.

Another important difference: when brought out of equilibrium Graves gets angry, and T.F. gets scared. I have the feeling that beneath it all he’s scared a lot, and it’s why his persona is so oriented towards gaining control in ways where people don’t realize it enough to even think try to take that control away from him until he’s already long gone. Misdirection as a way of life babEY

- This might be too deep in the ‘my WIP/process specific’ territory to really count as general analysis, but I think it’s there in canon too – there’s almost a feeling that he implicitly feels like he has to make up for some fundamental flaw or lack he has at the core? (Not a weird thing for him to end up feeling, considering what happened to him as a kid.) All the rest of him, all the cleverness and style and charm, is there to ‘make up’ for how at the end of the day he’s… wrong somehow. As Graves, who knows him better than anyone, focuses right in on, a coward. And that is CERTAINLY not the whole truth and even Graves in a full rage relents when he sees the effect the accusation has on him and once he gets the actual facts of what happened. But I think that sense of deep unworthiness is what’s stuck with him emotionally. His people left him because there’s something fundamentally lacking and immoral about him. He lost Graves because he’s not good enough, because he’s a coward who leaves people behind. He deserves to be alone. Mix in a ton of survivor’s guilt to taste, and I think you have the like… core emotional wound he’s constructed around.

There’s also something here about fear of profound powerlessness specifically in situations where words, generally his strongest card that’s not a literal card (har har har oh we do have fun here), simply don’t work right at the moment when he needs them to the most – he tried to beg for his people not to leave him behind, he tried to convince Graves to get the hell out with the rest of the crew… and it didn’t work. (In Burning Tides you see he’s given up even trying to explain himself, he just wants Out in whatever way leaves both him and Graves tolerably in one piece, even if he won’t be understood or heard or less alone afterwards. It takes him until like half way through the entire chase to even THINK about just telling Graves the truth. In all fairness to T.F. it probably wouldn’t have worked at that moment, but it does vaguely crack me up that he didn’t even consider it until all of Bilgewater harbor was already burning merrily behind them fhsajkfa)

- He has a little bit of a (perfectly justified considering his background honestly) chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to powerful or arrogant people. There seems to be a special satisfaction in outsmarting and robbing specifically rich assholes (which would also be the people who have the most to steal, so y’know good times all round). From his short stories and few places in his bio you almost get the feeling that he has a funny sort of Robin Hood-esque sense of lopsided justice about it. (Robin Hood-esque only so far as to define ‘the poor’ as the eternally hard-strapped ‘T.F. & Graves Waistcoats and Cigars Fund’, of course lol)

I think T.F. both has a mind that tends more towards analyzing the big picture and also has more direct experience with like… structural/systemic powerlessness and oppression. So the cons they pull are probably partly how he channels the emotions that arise out of that (and the rest he just represses, like the relatable guy he is haha)

- Graves being back would cause some IMMENSE internal conflict in him, I feel – of course all the feelings of relief and attachment and love, but also… so much of who he is now came about specifically to find a way to deal with Graves being gone, with seemingly just shutting down the entirety of his need for real human companionship or closeness for like a decade, things that are suddenly starting to be brought online again and must be tremendously stressful to deal with when you’ve had it completely suppressed and deadened for so long. He’s put so much into trying to be fundamentally unattached to anything, anywhere, anyone (and there are some things here about perpetually being an outsider his whole life that I can’t quite put into words, but that’s a dimension too.) That sort of psychological self defense mechanism doesn’t just contentedly nod its head and go away just because something good happened one time haha. Probably a work in progress there huh (at least he’s not alone in it now <3)

PLUS some bonus Graves POV observations because man. I love writing him, he’s just a marvel of a man

- I know I call him a dumbass all the time, but in a street smart way I think he’s actually quite clever haha, he just has a bad tendency to get hung up on an idea and get tunnel sight. (I’ve based this a lot on the short stories but see also more recently his Sentinel skin voice lines for good examples: he’s incredibly straightforward in that ‘well obviously if it doesn’t affect me personally I ain’t gonna give it that much thought’ way, but you also have glimpses of surprising insight/shrewdness and… I don’t quite know how to put it, but something like an ability to get to the bottom line of something without getting caught up in the details. (I suspect T.F. does find himself lost in the details quite frequently, he’s much more attached to the decorative curlicues of the world.) Graves clearly & frequently has no idea what’s going on, but he strips things down to the essentials very quick: Lucian’s story as a direct thematic mirror to Viego’s, Is There A Sun Lady – Oh, I See, all of this is weird and creepy and needs shooting, and maybe most crucial of all: Isolde doesn’t want to be with her husband anymore so what he’s doing is just like. Extra shitty. He gets what he needs to get and then just barges ahead heedlessly with that. Icon.)

- He’s actually pretty darn eloquent in a gruff sort of way and uses some quite sophisticated vocabulary! And the way this is contrasted with the tendency to slip into blunter coarser language just as readily -- like when he takes the time to describe the monster that takes down the Prince’s ship in such poetic terms as ‘gargantuan’ and ‘the behemoth’s immense, distended jaw’ and it having ‘pallid dead eyes the size of the moon’, and meanwhile during his swim at the beginning of the story we get bastard cold and bastard dark and full of bastard jellyfish and crabs – brings me such immense and unending delight

- He’s more eloquent in his internal voice than he is when speaking (especially noticeable in Destiny and Fate; he does have a tendency to fumble his words when talking lol), and he gets quite easily lost in his own meandering reflective musings in a way I find incredibly endearing. I’d almost call it whimsical at times, honestly, hilarious as that is? Like when he’s literally so absorbed in a line of thought he forgets which way they’re rowing and T.F. has to remind him. (I think T.F. generally has more of a grip of what’s going on around them than Graves does lol)

- There’s an important distinction to be made that Graves actually does, by and large, read T.F: very closely and seemingly also pretty damn accurately. He’s good at (and clearly very interested in) reading his moods, spotting what tactics he’s using interpersonally, when he’s being genuine and when he’s being dissembling.

What Graves is actually bad at is understanding his own emotions, and to not bleed those emotions into other people’s motivations and behavior, especially when he’s upset or in heightened states of feeling, like he is all the way through Burning Tides. He can only name his own feelings in a vocabulary of anger, when it’s pretty clear from the subtext that there’s a whole bunch of other stuff going on there, and he has incredible trouble divorcing those feelings from what other people’s got going on with them right then. He feels hurt, betrayed, and undone by everything that’s happened to him, so the intention to hurt, betray and undo must live in the other person who he feels caused it. In less drastic cases you see him do this a bit when he feels like T.F. is being evasive with him – taking it as a form of rejection rather than realizing T.F. is just lost in his own thoughts, sort of thing. There’s a real improvement in this one between Burning Tides and Destiny and Fate, though, so maybe he’ll have an easier time of it with some time and practice.

Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this and that it’s a bit of a rambling mess, words have been real hard recently. Or rather I have too many words, all the time, left and right, I just can’t put them into the right orders to make any sense hahaha, I hope there’s some useful point in this somewhere for you at least!

[xbeautifulunseenx]

The NYADA Vegans Club

Summary: A cute guy catches Blaine’s eye and draws him to a meeting of the NYADA Vegans Club. Except Blaine is very, definitely not a vegan.

Read on AO3

"This meeting of the NYADA Vegans Club is now in session!"

Blaine jumped as the sound of a gavel hitting wood cracked through the air. The NYADA Vegans Club? Had he heard that right?

When he had followed that hot freshman guy into the room, he'd hoped it would be a meeting for something much more in line with his interests. He couldn't honestly sit through a meeting of a club that actively promoted not eating cheese for a guy he knew nothing about. Could he?

"I see many new faces this year, so let's go around and introduce ourselves. I'm Jay, the president of the NYADA Vegans. I've been a vegan for six years. And you?" Jay gestured to where Blaine stood half in and half out the doorway. "Will you be joining us?"

Blaine saw the hot guy give a small laugh at his expense as he tried to decide whether he was coming or going.

Coming, he decided upon making eye contact with his new crush.

"I'm Blaine and being vegan is something I've dedicated my life to."

He didn't know where the lie came from, but there was no taking it back once it was out. He watched as the guy's friend —a cute, small, brunette — poked his arm and made no secret of winking pointedly in Blaine's direction.

Introductions continued around the room until Blaine learned that the hot guy was named Kurt, a baby vegan of just 6 months, and his friend was named Rachel, a fellow lifelong vegan.

Blaine hadn't given much consideration to what might happen at a vegan club meeting, so he couldn't say he was surprised when anti-animal product PSAs began playing on a large screen in the room. Shortly after the videos ended, they were instructed to break, and when the meeting resumed, they would be writing letters to local restaurants encouraging the use of more vegan products.

With the excuse of wanting to stretch his legs, Blaine walked over to where Kurt and Rachel were helping themselves to cups of almond milk and dairy-free cookies.

"There he is!" he heard Rachel whisper loudly to Kurt. "Say hi!"

"Oh my god, Rachel, way to be discreet. Hi," Kurt said, extending his hand toward Blaine. "I'm Kurt, and this is Rachel, who has yet to master the art of subtlety."

Kurt's hand felt warm and perfect in his. "Blaine."

"We remember. The lifelong vegan. Impressive."

"Yeah," Blaine said, trying not to wrinkle his nose at the lie. "Thanks. So are you two freshmen? I think I recognize you from orientation."

"Oh phew," Kurt pretended to wipe his brow. "I thought I recognized you from orientation, too, but I didn't want to be the first creep to admit it."

Blaine blushed and looked at his feet, trying to figure out how to run from the room and never see Kurt again without looking like too much of a loser.

"Relax, Blaine." Kurt laughed and put a reassuring hand on his bare forearm. "I was kidding."

"Oh thank god, I thought I was going to have to switch schools."

They all laughed at Blaine's dramatics and continued on with a light conversation. Blaine was thrilled to notice that Kurt's eyes lingered on him as they spoke, and that he laughed the loudest at Blaine's jokes.

They chatted through the letter writing activity and stayed long past the end of the meeting, discussing their histories with show choir and their favorite musicals and what their upcoming college career could hold in store.

When they finally parted to go home to apartments on opposite sides of the city, Blaine couldn't deny that following Kurt into that meeting was the best dumb choice he'd ever made.

Blaine went back for the next meeting, and then the next. The subject matter may have been less than stimulating, but the scenery was gorgeous and the conversation wasn't bad either. He and Kurt were having a great time getting to know each other, but neither came right out and flirted openly or made plans outside of Vegan Club. Instead, they sent each other looks with dopey smiles on their faces when they thought nobody was paying attention, and blushed bashfully when they were caught.

When it became clear that neither of them would be making any moves, Rachel took it upon herself to intervene. She invited Blaine over for a five course vegan meal at her and Kurt's loft, and he accepted immediately.

While Blaine saw the merits of vegan products, and had even thoroughly enjoyed some of the snacks offered at Vegan Club, he couldn't say he was looking forward to an entirely vegan meal. But he was one to try anything, and since Kurt — who somehow got more attractive every time they saw each other — was involved, he would definitely be trying Rachel's feast.

"Blaine's here!" he heard Rachel yell from the other side of the door. He tightened his already too-tight grasp on the wine he'd had his roommate buy for him and waited for someone to answer his knock.

The heavy door slid open, and Blaine couldn't decide if he should stare at Kurt or the apartment. Kurt, as usual, won out.

"You look amazing," he said as he pulled a surprised, but flattered, Kurt into a hug.

"Thank you, so do you."

"Your apartment is incredible," Blaine gushed, looking around. "It's giving me chic RENT vibes."

"Kurt decorated most of it," Rachel told him from her spot by the stove. She lifted the spoon she was holding. "Broccoli vegan cheddar soup! Are you ready to eat?"

It turned out that vegan cheddar was not exactly Blaine's preferred cheese. And that meatless meatloaf wasn't his preferred entrée. There was a little hope for the vegan strawberry cheesecake. At least, it looked mouthwatering.

"Kurt made this one," Rachel announced as she set the plates in front of them. "He worked on it all last night, so I'm sure it will be wonderful."

Blaine took a bite and closed his eyes with the overwhelming deliciousness of the cake.

"Wow, Kurt, I've never had a vegan dessert so good. You've got to share the recipe with me!"

Kurt shook his head. "Sorry, secret family recipe."

"Oh well, guess you'll just have to keep making it for me, then," Blaine teased. He stood and headed to the kitchen. "Shall I get the new bottle of wine from the fridge?"

"No!" Kurt said, a little too loudly, pushing back from the table and beating Blaine to the fridge, standing in front of it. "You're our guest. Please sit and I'll get it."

Blaine returned to the table to find Rachel trying her best to hide a laugh, but he didn't ask.

After the dessert plates were cleared, they settled on the couch to watch a movie. At first, Blaine had thought Rachel was acting as Kurt's wingman by asking him to their apartment for dinner and a movie, and that she'd do the classic "I'm going to bed" and slip away to leave the two men alone, but she never did. She stayed the entire movie, curled up on the other side of Kurt. Blaine rested his hand on the couch next to him, inching his way toward where Kurt's hand lay, brushing their fingers together every so often and sending a jolt of excitement though his arm. He wanted to chance putting an arm around Kurt, but with Rachel so close, it would have been awkward.

By the time he hugged the two roommates goodnight and left, Blaine knew he couldn't waste any more time. He was going to ask Kurt out.

———

After enduring another excruciatingly boring Vegan Club meeting, Blaine finally asked Kurt on a date. His heart soared when Kurt said yes without hesitation.

That Saturday evening, Blaine and Kurt met in front of the student center on campus. After overtly admiring each other for a few seconds, Kurt spoke up.

"I'm really glad you had the balls to ask me out. I put on a good show of confidence, but when it comes to boys, that's all it is — a show. If you hadn't asked, we'd probably still be staring at each other all cutesy and pretending we only like each other as friends two years down the road."

"I'm glad too, then. I'm not afraid to make big moves. They almost always backfire on me somehow, but…" he shrugged. "Can't win if you never play the game!"

Kurt gave a laugh-snort. "You're like a walking motivational poster."

"Kurt," Blaine said, looking at him seriously. "You've gotta risk it to get the biscuit."

Their laughter carried them all the way to the restaurant, a small bistro tucked away from most of the nearby foot traffic.

Cozied up in the round, plush booth where they were directed, the waiter interrupted their conversation to take their order.

"I'll have the house salad with balsamic vinaigrette and a cup of the vegan minestrone soup, please," Blaine said, longing for something more substantial, but selecting the only vegan options on the menu.

Kurt gave him a weird look, then ordered for himself. "I would like the filet mignon."

Blaine's smile faltered. "What? Kurt! Are you falling off the wagon?"

"I need to tell you something." Kurt turned to Blaine, their waiter temporarily forgotten. "I am not now, nor have I ever been, vegan. I was only at Vegan Club that night because I promised Rachel I would go with her to the first meeting. Then I couldn't stop going because of...well, you."

Kurt's face looked terrified, like he was worried Blaine might up and leave the date due to his confession. Instead, Blaine laughed.

"Oh, thank god!"

"What?" Kurt seemed confused yet relieved.

"I've never been vegan a day in my life either. I'd noticed you from day one of orientation and I thought you were the cutest guy I'd ever seen. So I followed you into Vegan Club without knowing it was Vegan Club, because I thought you'd be more likely to go out with me if we shared interests."

"Oh my god. You can't be serious." Kurt was wheeze-laughing so hard he collapsed into Blaine's chest. Blaine put his arms around Kurt and pulled him closer before remembering the waiter who was slowly backing away from their table with an amused expression.

"Wait!" Blaine called. "I'd like to change my order to the six cheese pizza, if that's okay."

That only made Kurt lose it even further. "I can't believe this." He settled down enough that he straightened out and looked into Blaine's eyes. "You're perfect."

"You're perfect," Blaine responded.

"And we're perfect together," they sang the Wicked line at the same time.

The magic of the moment led them into a tender first kiss that knocked them sideways until Blaine pulled back just enough to whisper, "That amazing cheesecake you made last week wasn't really vegan, was it?"

[project-ohagi]

Dabi x Reader

Buy me a coffee!! <3

Greyromantic: Can experience romantic attraction, but weakly or infrequently; feeling alienated from romance; only feeling attraction in specific circumstances.

Asexual: Having little/no sexual attraction or interest in sexual activities.

Questioning: Process of exploration regarding gender, sexual orientation, sexual identity.

----

The phenomenon of love is a complex, chemical concoction that has long been weaved into the fabric of our society. It is presented as a requirement, with those who find the concept either too challenging to thoroughly comprehend, or lacking in appeal, branded as anomalies. In its pursuit of normality, it quickly alienated those whose hearts just couldn't conform. In a different society, one not quite so dominated by this 'normality' of romantic and sexual interests...you might be forgiven for your limited knowledge. But this one...it seems to blanch at the very idea that happiness can be attained in the absence of romantic attraction.

As such, those identifying along the Aromantic or Asexual spectrums are often overlooked - even shunned. But, the greatest truth of it all is a lot simpler than you may expect: an emotion as profound as joy cannot be induced solely by succumbing to carnal desires, or tasting the lips of another. No...it is through self-acceptance, and the acceptance from those for whom your heart beats - parents, siblings, friends...and perhaps in this manner, the meaning is amplified.

But...what happens when you are forced into complacency, into setting aside your own interests, to 'further evolution', or to 'finally be normal'?

You were still trying to figure this out.

Who were you...really? Why couldn't you summon an emotion as free and universal as love?...Romantic love? Why did it seem so incomprehensible, so...intangible? These were the thoughts you battled with, every waking moment. They burrowed deep into your mind, so that you could never pull them out. They were elusive, yet...constant, nagging.

Why am I so different? Everyone else has crushes...even Toga likes that one UA boy! Ah, yeah...she asked me if I have someone I love. I just said "No". Saying: "I don't even know what 'love' is" seems a bit...she'd definitely call me weird. Then the others would probably laugh at me...

You felt...incomplete, like a jigsaw puzzle with only half the pieces. You felt the isolation, suffocating you. It hadn't been a conscious decision. You didn't awaken one morning and think 'You know what? This whole 'love' thing? It just isn't for me! ' You craved a connection, a bond of some kind - holding hands...a hug at most. Anything more was frightening to imagine. What if someone...pressured you? Or stole a kiss, as an offhanded action? You couldn't bear it...not even the mere thought. It was likely the main contributor to your chronic anxiety and paranoia. Your treatment at the hands of society, the ridicule and the fear of phrases such as "It's just a phase!" or, "You need to find the right person!"...they fuelled the flickering spark of villainy in your eyes.

After all, outcasts and monsters are interchangeable to most common folk.

But you didn't want those labels. You were a lost lamb, wandering aimlessly - what you really needed was guidance...someone who would listen and advise, someone who would accept you and every burden you carried, without question or quandary. But you said nothing...so you got nothing in return. Dabi was the closest to a...a source of strength? Motivation?...Potential love interest? But...how would you ever truly know? How could you discern the romantic from the platonic? It seemed impossible - simply a waste of time. Still, you never fully resigned to this fate of...loneliness.

You wanted to cherish, and to be cherished.

You wanted to love, and to be loved.

Perhaps it was the unyielding voice of fear, of desperation and pain, but...you just didn't know! You didn't know...and, it was difficult. You studied Dabi's face, and while nothing immediately heated your cheeks, he wasn't...unattractive. Aha! Maybe that was love? Alas, you discovered it to be more aesthetic attraction. It was a little disappointing, but perseverance should've been the key, right...?

Why? Why do I feel so little? Dabi is there for me, right? So surely if anyone, I should love him!...Do I love him? How can I tell? Is there some sort of test? How would a test even be administered? What kind of questions would I have to answer? I don't think I could answer them, even with study. If I'm struggling so much now...

And anyway...Dabi was a dominant male, whose sexuality was unclear. Even if you managed to settle on a definition of 'love', and figure out what role it played in your life...there was no guarantee that Dabi would want you. The jury was still out, on your gender - 'questioning' was your placeholder for the moment. But, you usually dressed masculine...would he be okay with someone so indecisive? Someone who might be neither male nor female? And, what if...what if he wasn't the one?

Say I can find love, and I start to understand it...who's to say that the person I love will be Dabi? It could be anyone! Maybe they were right, and I just haven't met the right person...but, I kind of want it to be Dabi? Is that...bad? Oh god, it sounds so selfish! He'll just be tied down, and if we find out that I don't actually love him...what would he do? At the very least, he'd be angry...

Dabi...the more you recalled his honey-laced voice, all the flirting you failed to notice until it was pointed out (clearly, he was doing that in jest), and those blue eyes (steely from years on the run, that probably depleted the pools of guilt and regret often accompanying mass killings, thievery and other criminal acts), the more confusion festered. You just didn't understand! Was it love? Or was it conversion? Were you trying to become 'normal'? Well, as normal as a villain could be...? Or did Dabi really mean something...something greater than you believed? Something...beyond what you currently knew?

This journey of self-discovery had approached a torturous junction.

Why were relationships so sought after, so expected? Even you desired one. How else could you ever hope to form a deep bond, or receive that fabled 'feeling of ecstasy' from holding hands or hugging? If there was no romance, mainstream media would lead you to the conclusion that there isn't a 'proper' or 'deep enough' connection - there can't be. You wanted to experience these things with Dabi. No-one else. You couldn't explain why. He was...an unusual character, mysterious and with perhaps a similar level of complexity as the daunting questions you were asking yourself. But mentioning your plight to him simply wasn't an option. Villains were responsible for themselves; the League was nothing more than a safety net.

Besides, Dabi was heartless.

...Or so he liked to be portrayed.

Urghhh...why is this so complicated? How am I supposed to know if I love him? The signs are...increased heart rate and blood to the face, right...? That seems unhealthy...is that actually supposed to be a good thing??

"Hey, you stopped spacing out yet, (V/n)?"

Shit! No, no, no! I haven't finished spacing out!

Sheepishly, you turned in the direction of the voice. Why did Dabi always seem to materialise out of thin air, whenever you thought about him? Did you magic him here, by accident? Subconsciously? However you managed that...you hated it. Your existential crisis really didn't need a spectator. Break out the popcorn, why don't you?

Can't I have a break down in peace? Wait...am I even in my room?...Did I seriously question my entire existence right here in the bar? It's a good thing there's no-one else here...I don't need more people telling me that I'm crazy...

You sighed. "...Yeah."

His brows furrowed - this was unfamiliar territory. Helping people had never been his speciality, especially given his own trauma . But for you...it was certainly worth a shot. "What's up? You on your man-period or something?"

Off to a spectacularly dreadful start. "I - I don't know if I'm a man, though...how could I-"

"Relax, it was a joke. Your pronouns are they/them, right? I'm not gonna call you a man just for the sake of argument. Nah...Hey, scoot over." A for effort.

"You could sit literally anywhere else."

He smirked. "You gonna stop me, sweet-cheeks?"

Sweet...?

"Thought not. Anyway, what's going on? You've been all doom-and-gloom for the past...two hours." He motioned over to the clock.

Had you honestly spent so long in contemplation? Gods, you could've unlocked the secrets of the universe, but no. "I've...kinda been asking myself that."

"Oh?" It was obviously a prompt, but talk of your romantic inclination (or lack thereof) would likely be regarded in the realm of 'stupid' and 'childish', so...could really you trust him?

I've always been too nervous to take risks...Guess now's as good a time as any to change that.

You swallowed down the uncertainties, the anxiety and everything in-between. They didn't help - they only hindered. And...you did need to release this burden, that weighed you down so heavily.

"Um...it's - it's...confusing. Really...confusing. I guess, I simple terms: I don't know what 'love' is. I know it probably sounds really dumb to you, and I feel stupid for even saying it, but...I've never...never had a crush, never been in love. I don't...I don't feel anything romantic towards, well...anyone!"

"Not even a bit?" He asked, blank-faced.

"I - I don't know. I really want to, though. I'm just...I'm scared. There's always this underlying fear of...what if - what if someone forces me? Y'know? What if...I date someone, and they can't accept that I'm different...that I might never feel anything for them? I don't want to be lonely forever, Dabi! I want someone, I really do! I say I've never been in love, but...the truth is, I just don't know! I know that I don't need to kiss someone. That's what I...what I don't want, but...I - I still want to hold hands with someone! I'd still like a hug, every once in a while...I don't know what I'm doing, or really...who I am."

For a few moments, he was silent beside you, just drinking in the flood of information. He refrained from reaching out, or gazing too intently. It took time to settle on an appropriate response. "You're looking at it as an issue, though - something you've gotta resolve, before you can move on. I'm not the best with advice, trust me...but I can tell you that it's a journey. It'll continue and evolve, as long as it needs to. You'll...probably know when you're ready, or...something. All that sappy crap. You don't have to force yourself to understand it all now."

I'll know...?

"When I'm...ready?" You repeated, eyes tracing the lines on your palm.

"Yeah...probably."

Just before you lost all coherency, a single thought fluttered to the forefront of your mind: My heart...just...skipped a beat?!

[Word Count: 1775]

[krokonoko]

the heart wants what it wants. and as much as I love my angst, sometimes I need me some freaky shit like,,, Lacho AUs in which the cartel is not a factor and Lalo and Nacho are just. REGULAR ASS BOYFRIENDS.

LOTS of assorted headcanons under the cut!

shield thine eyes, there’s some heavy ass fluff incoming.

Lalo has his own little restaurant. No one knows how it stays afloat with the erratic way Lalo’s leading it, but it seems his family’s somehow just absolutely loaded, so he can afford it. Honestly sometimes it feels like he just uses it to fuck around with new recipes. Like there’s no real rhyme or reason to what he’s doing, but everyone loves his food, he’s really good with the patrons and if he parties the whole night through then it doesn’t matter cuz the next morning the kitchen still looks spick and span and Lalo’s awake and chipper, ready for the next day! How does he do it? No one knows, especially not his staff. But when someone asks, he just laughs it off and changes the subject and oh my god he’s so charming how could anyone resist him? -

Lalo’s still on the antisocial spectrum and manic af in this AU, so his approach to relationships and emotions is a bit different than your neurotypical one. He seems to have a penchant for breaking rules, can be manipulative at times, and certain things don’t affect him the way you’d expect. But most of the time you wouldn’t even know, cuz generally he’s a really affable guy who’s a lot of fun to be around. He’s genuinely trying not to step on anyone’s toes. That being said, you don’t like him then yeah, he don’t give two shits. -

Nacho used to be part of some gang, but got out in time. He now studies business or something like that. He’s super ambitious and keeps badgering his papá about investing into technical improvements that would make his shop more effective and streamlined. Manuel gets heart burn every time Nacho runs the numbers by him. He’s been running the shop for longer than Nacho is alive, he’s not gonna contract new debts after it took him so long to pay everything off...! And Nacho insists that’s how business WORKS, it’s all about investment and growth. Manuel says with a smile that when the shop is Nacho’s, he can stuff it with all the novelty apparatuses that he wants, but he’ll have to wait until Manuel is no more, and Nacho is like papá don’t be so overdramatic...!! And Manuel laughs and pats Nacho’s back because actually he’s really proud of his son and the fact that he’s so concerned with the shop and they’re HAPPY GODDAMMIT -

For some reason this AU doubles as a modern AU as well. Which means smartphones exist. Nacho spends. SO much time on Instagram. Photos of his car. Photos of Nacho leaning against his car. Gym selfies. All over the damn place. And Lalo doesn’t understand insta cuz he’s a tech averse king, but he still secretly checks out Nacho’s blog all the time cuz yummy! Sometimes he comments on Nacho’s posts with a bunch of. really weird emojis, half of which don’t mean what Lalo thinks they mean, and Nacho thinks it’s cringe af. -

They’ve been having this thing going on for about a year and they’re both suuuper casual about it, like, SO casual, especially Nacho, wow he is so incredibly low key about this, like he is not too all over this or anything, just the right amount of relaxed, laid back, so cool, yeah. -

Just that Lalo is actually incredibly flirty all the time and courts the hell out of Nacho, he’s almost a bit gentleman-like about it, almost a bit old-school, and Nacho thinks that’s kinda dope and the way Lalo treats him like he’s the sexiest thing on earth sometimes comes across as a little condescending but there’s something about it, too, that makes Nacho sometimes lie awake at night thinking about it, brushing his thumb over his lower lip and thinking about the way Lalo pulls him in for kisses. -

When Lalo picks Nacho up from the gym, Nacho smiles when he sees him. When Lalo cracks a crude joke about making people swallow condoms, Nacho chuckles. When Lalo makes him food, Nacho enjoys it. When they walk along the sidewalk in the evening, Nacho casually bumps into Lalo and Lalo puts an arm around Nacho. When Lalo is close, Nacho feels comfortable, and warm, and drawn to him. -

Nacho has had a couple of girl- and boyfriends, but he’s only ever introduced Manuel to his girlfriends. Manuel’s known that Nacho’s into boys ever since he came home early to teenage Nacho and Domingo sitting on the living room couch 6 ft apart with their shirts rumpled and their faces red as beet. But Nacho didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so Manuel respected that. He’s a bit concerned cuz he’s afraid Nacho feels like he can’t talk to him, but he wouldn’t wanna push him. -

So all of Lalo’s attempts to meet papá Varga have been met by Nacho with stone-walling and general avoidance. -

But Lalo’s a very family oriented person so he just decides to make it a surprise dinner! At first Manuel is a bit wary cuz alright, what’s going on, who is this guy? But then Lalo turns up the charm and he’s just one of these guys who are absolutely stellar at wooing older ppl. So he keeps charming circles around Manuel with food and jokes, and Manuel kinda starting to like this guy, and when Manuel wants to get himself some more beer- nonono you stay put Sr. Varga, I’m gonna take care of this for you - and then they get to the part of the evening where Manuel tells childhood stories about Nacho like how he cried when he lost his first tooth and Lalo is just ab-so-lute-ly ENTHRALLED by it all and before you know it he and Manuel are BFF. -

all the while Nacho just. SEETHES in his corner. -

Manuel leaves and Lalo and Nacho start cleaning up the kitchen, and they’re very quiet until Nacho just goes “are you going to tell me what the hell all that was about?” and Lalo’s like “???” and Nacho’s just. “That little sing-and-dance you just did there? Like. What’s your end-game here. If this was some kind of attempt to get to me through my, dad, to, idk, somehow get emotional leverage over me, istg...!” And Lalo’s gets honestly serious and looks and Nacho all earnest-like... “man... is it really that hard to believe that it’s important to me that your dad likes me...?” and then he goes “you know what, Ignacio, you seem upset. Why don’t you just go home and leave the kitchen to me, yeah?” and so Nacho does, and he’s really angry at Lalo, and he doesn’t really get what just happened there. -

a couple days later his dad calls him and Nacho is kinda concerned but Manuel doesn’t pick up on it, he’s just like “Mijo, I just. Wanted to say how important that was to me, to meet your boyfriend, he’s a really nice y-...nice man.” (Nacho notices the gap where the “young” should have been lmao) and actually Manuel is trying to be like “Mijo, I am supportive of you please notice that I am trying to tell you that I think this is super okay!” but Nacho is so busy being confused cuz he’s never referred to Lalo as his boyfriend in his head even though they’ve been at this for over a year. So Nacho’s kinda monosyllabic and like “so. he didn’t upset you or anything?” and Manuel’s like “noo, he was really friendly. You didn’t give him a hard time, did you, Ignacio...??” Manuel gets all stern and fatherly...!! “Let me tell you one thing. Not a single one of your girlfriends has ever been this polite or interested in me. This man, he’s being serious about you. Maybe it’s time to stop being cautious.” -

and that’s when it starts to dawn on Nacho that that’s. Honestly all there is to it. Lalo wasn’t trying to manipulate him or whatever. He honestly just noticed that Manuel is an important part of Nacho’s life, and wanted to connect with that. And that is- actually. really sweet of him, what the fuck?!? -

Nacho lays awake again that night and notices that there’s something going on in his chest, like something big and warm blooming there and oh my fucking god you can’t be SERIOUS this is RIDICULOUS he’s way too old for this shit, AND way too worldly-wise and all that! -

So Nacho drives by Lalo’s place the other day and asks him whether he wants to go for a drink and so they go to a bar and sit there in silence for a moment until Nacho goes “my dad asked about you” and Lalo chuckles and is like “yeah? at least someone who misses me!” and Nacho rolls his eyes but he’s kinda got it coming now. Anyway, so, Nacho starts explaining that his dad is the most important person in his life, and he is soft and sweet and precious and a national treasure that must be protected at all costs and if someone was to hurt him and all that jazz. And Lalo’s like, yeah, no, I get it. Family is everything. And your dad is a really cool guy.  The problem is that for Nacho, it’s just been him and Manuel against the world for so long, he’s gotten kinda prickly about letting anyone else get close to his dad. But maybe this is good, and maybe, oh god he doesn’t really wanna think about it in that much detail, but like, Lalo gets it, and they leave the bar together and Lalo immediately gets out his phone and calls Manuel like “Sr. Varga, I’ve been wondering how you’ve been doing! What, Nachito? He’s doing fine. No, nooo, he’s not been mean at all. Couldn’t if he tried. Well, I hope you have a great evening. Yeah, talk to you soon!” and Lalo’s just absolutely obnoxious about this, winking at Nacho and everything and Nacho sighs and accepts his punishment. (Later Lalo’s gonna be like “of course you were right, I did have ulterior motives. I was just trying to butter you up for the dinner I have planned with my uncle Hector!” and Lalo keeps talking about how much he loves his tio and how he’s basically a father figure to him and such a great guy. But then they meet him and Lalo only introduces Nacho as “a friend”, and Hector is this grumpy old guy who hates absolutely everyone and everything, can’t go two sentences without being racist, sexist or homophobic. And Nacho’s like aaalright, guess I gotta deal with THIS now. But they don’t meet him that often so it’s alright.) -

OH but Manuel is still a BIT conservative about SOME things?? Like, he’s fine with Nacho having a boyfriend, but does he have to be so. you know. old...? Like. He’s not your sugar daddy, right Ignacio...? You’re not expecting him to keep you, right Ignacio...??? And Nacho is kinda pissy because UHM?? the implications?? He would never?? He’s nobody’s trophy boyfriend. He does like getting paraded around like one every now and then but he’s not. He buys his own damn stuff. But yeah sorry Nacho, that’s just how parents are sometimes lmao -

ANYWAY the point is, they. They care. Nacho cares Lalo. And seeks out his company on his own accord without any outside influences forcing him to. And Lalo cares Nacho. And they kinda start to accept that this is. a thing. And Nacho learns to accept that he can let himself feel save and comfortable around Lalo. And they’re just regular ass boyfriends. Who go on vacation together. Who have just fantastic sex without any coercion or backstabbing involved. Who fall asleep on the couch watching movies together. Who celebrate each other’s birthdays. All that freaky shit!!! 😭😭😭

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 3

aka Caleo uni AU

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Calypso gets a new friend and notices that maybe her flatmate isn't that bad after all.

A/N: Time to introduce Annabeth! I will slowly be adding more of the familiar characters, in the next chapter there will be more (but who, may that remain a secret for another week).

As usual, thanks to my friend Cris for betaing! And thanks to everyone who's been commenting, know that your comments really have motivated me to continue this fic! Please keep them coming :)

And now, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo, Annabeth

Words: 1300+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort (in the future chapters)

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

It was the morning of Calypso’s first day at the university. The first week would mostly be orientation, meaning getting to know her fellow students, the professors, the campus, her program and so on a bit better. She was feeling quite nervous because aside from Leo she hadn’t really met other students living in the area yet, and if she was honest with herself, her friend making skills weren’t the best. Due to the circumstances at her home, she had never had a close friend, and her relationships tended to end after a couple of months for various reasons. But this was finally a good chance to find other people interested in the same topics as she was, and she didn’t want to blow it up.

As she was making herself breakfast, her roommate showed up and sat down on a chair next to her, leaning his chin against the backrest. His fingers were tapping against the hard wood of the table like Calypso had already seen them do a few times in the past few days. The boy never seemed to be able to sit still.

“First day in this university, huh?” Leo asked. “You nervous?”

“What do you want?” Calypso asked suspiciously, not answering his question. She wasn’t feeling like opening up about her nervousness to this boy who for some reason made her feel even more restless. It was almost as if his nervous energy was contagious.

“Listen,” Leo started, now looking at her directly and stopping the tapping for a moment. “I know we haven’t exactly started off great, but we’re still going to be living together for a while so I thought we should at least be even. So. I fixed your desk.”

“I don’t want to owe you anything,” Calypso said matter-of-factly.

“You’re not owing me!” Leo exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air for a bigger impact. “I… well, Festus, but it was my fault… broke it so I thought it was the appropriate thing to do. But if you are too proud to…” His voice started to rise a bit. He had not expected Calypso to be that stubborn.

“Okay,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder briefly to stop his rambling. “I’ll accept it. Thanks. I guess.”

“Not exactly the reaction I was expecting but I’ll accept it,” he mocked her tone and earned an angry look from Calypso. “I was hoping for something more like ‘thank you so much, my favorite roomie, you’re the best!’” To avoid another lash from her, he quickly changed the subject: “Anyway, I also wanted to tell you that we should probably take weekly turns with cleaning the common area, like I did with Jason. I can take this week if you want to.”

“No, I can take it.” Calypso said with a tone that meant this won’t be discussed further.

“Is there anything you can’t make an argument about, Miss Sunshine?” Leo stared at her with frustration while his hands were reaching for the chips from a bag he had left on the dining table the other day.

“You make it rather easy, Valdez. Also, who eats chips for breakfast?” She shook her head with disapproval. “Manners,” she mumbled under her breath before turning to put the milk back into the fridge. “Now, I’d like to finish my breakfast so if you excuse me…”

She took her bowl of cereals and an orange with her into her room and closed the door behind her.

…

“Don’t forget to get your books for next week, we’re already going to start with…” A professor announced at the end of his long lecture. The rest of his speech was drowned by the sound of the students starting to get up and collect their stuff to leave the class.

“When I signed up for this, I was not expecting them to have full blown lectures on the first day,” a blonde girl behind Calypso noted. Unlike Calypso, who felt overwhelmed by the amount of information she had just received, the other girl seemed almost bored as if she already knew everything they had been told.

“Yeah, me neither,” Calypso admitted, realizing that the girl was talking to her. “But I guess that’s university for you…”

“Right,” the blonde agreed. “Anyway, what’s your name? I don’t know anyone in this group yet but I’d like to change that.”

“Oh! I’m Calypso. Calypso Astal,” she gave the girl her hand to shake. “You can call me Cal, though…”

The other girl took it and shook it firmly. “Annabeth Chase. I’m actually an architect student but I’m also interested in history so I decided to make it my minor subject. I guess that means I’ll be seeing you a lot this semester!”

“Oh, that’s cool!” Calypso exclaimed. “I like drawing too but I doubt I would actually be good enough to design buildings.”

“There’s a lot that you need to take into account when designing,” Annabeth agreed, “but practice makes perfect.” As the girls passed a window that showed them the beautiful old main building of their university, she gestured at it and added: “One day I’d love to design something that will make people stop and say ‘hey, did you know this building was designed by none other than Annabeth Chase?’”

“To be honest, I haven’t thought that far,” Calypso admitted. “This is all still so new to me, I’ve been…” She decided she didn’t want to reveal her home circumstances to someone she had just met so she changed her approach: “well, there’s a lot I still want to experience so I have not devoted myself to just one path yet. I came here because I needed to get away, and history was an easy choice because I’ve always been interested in it. I still don’t picture myself researching the past events for the rest of my life.”

Annabeth nodded understandingly. “I think a lot of people of our age feel that way. My boyfriend… Well, now he’s having a swimming career but we both know that isn’t gonna last forever so I’ve been trying to get him to think of other possibilities for when he no longer feels the passion for competing. But he doesn’t see it the same way, he says I always plan too much ahead. Which I guess may be partially true,” she chuckled and rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, feeling she may have revealed a bit too much.

“Yeah. I like to go with a similar ‘go with the flow’ attitude as well.” In her head Calypso added: ‘because of what happened at home’.

“Anyway,” Annabeth decided to change the topic when she noticed Calypso had gone quiet. “This is a bit of a random question, but are you familiar with this town yet?”

“No, not yet.” Calypso shook her head. “I moved here only a week ago.”

“In that case, would you like me to show around some day?” Annabeth asked, opening her phone calendar. “I’d have time for example tomorrow.”

“Oh, sure, that would be great!” Calypso said. “Definitely beats listening to my roommate’s tinkering all day long.”

“Tinkering? You wouldn’t happen to be flatmates with Leo Valdez?” Annabeth connected the dots. The campus wasn’t that big and he had heard some stories through her boyfriend about one very enthusiastic mechanic.

“Unfortunately, I am. How did you know?” Calypso asked curiously.

“Oh, he has a bit of a reputation here,” Annabeth said mischievously. When Calypso looked at her suspiciously, she added: “I’m just kidding, my boyfriend is good friends with one guy named Jason who used to be Leo’s flatmate. I’ve never met him but I did keep hearing that he was constantly building something in his room. And also, Leo likes making a number of himself so he has put plenty of flashy ads on the uni bulletin boards telling about his mechanic business.”

“I guess I should have known that,” Calypso facepalmed.

“You don’t seem to like him very much, do you?” Annabeth asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Um…” Calypso wasn’t sure why she was revealing all this to a stranger, but it just felt right. “Our chemistry just… isn’t working. We’re very different and…” She tried to think of other reasons for their issues, which turned out to be harder than she expected. She realized that she didn’t really know him yet. “Uh, his dog broke my desk on the day I moved in and I’ve been mad at him ever since. He did apologize but… something about his attitude irks me. I don’t even know what it is.”

Annabeth’s mouth curled up a bit in amusement. She wanted to say that sounded a lot like her relationship with her boyfriend Percy had started. “That happens sometimes. Maybe… give him another chance, though. I mean, I don’t really know him or anything but sometimes the first impressions aren’t the best ones. You haven’t been living together for a long time yet, so there’s probably a lot you don’t know about him.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I feel kind of silly for complaining about that to a stranger. But thanks for listening!”

“No problem! Listen, I should get going now because I have a meeting with some architect friends but I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah! You bet!”

The girls quickly exchanged their phone numbers before separating to their own ways. As Calypso was walking towards her flat, though, she felt a small smile spread on her face. Maybe she had just made her first friend.

..

When Calypso got inside, to her surprise she found her broken desk waiting for her near her room. Only, it wasn’t broken anymore. She had wondered where it had disappeared after the incident but hadn’t really given it too much thought considering the state of the desk, thinking that Leo might have taken it to a recycling center or something. However, it turned out he had done a lot more than that. The broken board had been replaced with a new one and he had also sandpapered the surface, painted it and varnished it so it looked better than it had looked when it was brand new. Calypso could only stare with an open mouth at the fine job he had done. Once she had finally recovered from the surprise a bit, she yelled:

“Valdez!”

“¿Sí?” he peeked from his room, not sure what to expect. To his surprise, he saw the first genuine smile he had seen on her face.

“Would you like to help me to carry this into my room?” she asked in a friendly manner, still smiling. Leo took that as a win and agreed to help.

When they were done, Calypso did another thing that surprised both herself and him: she gently touched his arm and said: “Thanks. It looks good. And I mean it.”

“Leo Valdez, always ready to help.” He made a silly bowing gesture that made Calypso snort.

“You know, maybe you’re not quite so bad after all.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time,” he said, but there were no ill feelings behind his words.

“Now go before I change my mind,” Calypso said playfully. Leo gave her his signature grin and as he left the room, he felt he had finally managed to crack her cover a bit.

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

[the-unconquered-queen]

Please I wanna know more about your thoughts on Dan x mc relationship. I know its been age since ILITW ended but this is a hill I will die on. Like, I didn't romance anyone else on this book. If I couldn't have him then I didn't want anybody else, 🤧

oKAY, we’re going for it

This is the first time I’ve ever put an answer to an ask under a read more. That should really tell you something about me and about what you’re about to be subjected to.

I would like to start this off by saying that I couldn’t care less about when it ended because it is ALWAYS It Lives hours on my blog and that’s never gonna change. But let’s get into this:

I completely understand why Dan wasn’t an LI. It’s not the same case as with, say, Noah, who’s such a prominent character in the book they could’ve easily added him. Even though Dan’s influence is strong in the series - seeing how his absence brought the group together when they worked to save him - the actual Dan was in a coma for a sizable portion of the book, which would’ve frustrated his romancers to no end. This is why if you look up fan made Dan x MC content, most of it takes place after the events of the book (not including the epilogue), not during them, because at that point, there wasn’t much to go on.

I think that if ILitW had had a sequel that wasn’t an anthology, so a second book with the same MC focused on the same group (which obviously can’t happen because of all the possible combinations of deceased/survivors in book 1), Dan could’ve been made an actual LI in that second book, or maybe players would’ve gotten the first romantic dialogue at the end of book 1 if PB knew they were gonna commit to giving him a route in the sequel. The seeds are all there in the first book, from how close they were in their backstory to how that closeness seemed to linger ten years later even though they’d barely spoken during that time. Dan admitted to never talking to people about his struggles because he was worried people would think differently of him, but with a little bit of encouragement from MC, he opened up to them, which shows a very strong bond between them, which could easily turn romantic in his hypothetical route. I mean, he’d known Stacy for as long as he’d known MC, had interacted more with her since she was the only one who kept in touch with him out of the group and was concerned about his well-being, and yet it was MC he trusted with his feelings.

Also, like I said earlier, the way he spoke of them when they were kids in his scene suggests (to me, at least) that, after Jane, Dan was the one MC was closest to out of everyone in the group. And when, after not speaking to MC for ages, they show up at the orientation he’s attending and tell him they went solely because they knew he’d be there and they missed him, he thought they were joking, but was genuinely happy when they told him they were serious because he felt the same way, which shows that even though they had a falling out that lasted a decade, they easily fell back into a familiar friendly rhythm after just a minute together. Now, as much as I love this ship, I’m not really entirely sold on the idea of Dan having had a crush on MC since they were eight and having it last well into their senior year of high school, but I believe that their easy bond would’ve been a major factor in him developing that crush, and maybe it would’ve already existed by the time the orientation scene took place, only strengthening when they got to actually spend time together when they properly reunited.

But giving it some thought, I doubt he and MC would be a couple right away. I mean, Dan’s been through a lot, and he probably wouldn’t be in the right place to be in a relationship as soon as everything ended, even if he started healing after what happened in the cave. It’s possible that he and MC would’ve mutually acknowledged their feelings to each other so they’d know they were reciprocated but not actually acting on them for a while, just until Dan feels like he’s in a better place to do the relationship and get it right, because I can’t imagine him disregarding that just because he wants to be with MC so bad and then the relationship falling apart because it was too soon, too hasty, and MC would for sure understand that they’d need to take their time to make it work out. 

I feel like even before they got together, MC would be good at reading Dan’s moods when he has off days, knowing when he needs company or someone to talk to and when he just needs space, and they don’t take offense to Dan not being in the mood to talk sometimes because they’d understand that even though Redfield is gone, that doesn’t mean that he’d just go back to what he was like before the PTSD and everything else happened. Dan does the same in return, since he knows MC went through more than their fair share of bad stuff, but he’d also have to learn to navigate that, like I said in my other ask, there would be times when MC might wake up from a nightmare and he’d try to comfort them and find that MC somehow looks even more freaked out and then it dawns on him that MC might be having a flashback of when a dirt monster wore his face in their room and he’d have to talk them down and tell them it’s him.

Moving AWAY FROM THE ANSGT, an established, dating Dan and MC would be such a cute couple. If it happened in-game, the “define the relationship” talk would end with them kissing while the overhead achievement banner reads “Dynamic Duo” (guess why). I feel like it would be a chill relationship in the sense that they didn’t go straight from acquaintances to lovers, since they had a lot of history together being friends for a long time before dating, so they’d be so at ease with each other’s presence and so used to it that they wouldn’t need to be like some of the couples in their high school who’d need to always have their hands all over each other or constantly making out for you to tell they’re in love, because they could do the most low-key stuff and still be happy together.

They’re probably actual relationship goals. Dan would make such a caring boyfriend, always making small gestures that make MC smile, a real Pinterest-type boyfriend. You ever see those pictures of football players running to kiss their partners on the stands? Yeah, that’d be him, because you know MC would show up to every single game and be his personal cheerleader.

MC would probably get along well with Dan’s parents, too, since I bet his mom would be really grateful that Dan’s got someone close to him he can open up to and who makes him so happy. He and MC would probably have stay-in dates where they just cuddle up close and watch Star Trek while Dan’s cat is curled up and purring between them, and Dan’s mom probably makes them mac and cheese because MC missed her cooking from when they would all go to the Pierces’ for lunch. And when they do their stay-in dates at MC’s place instead, MC always pretends to get upset when their cat wants to be on Dan’s lap instead of theirs, but really they love it because, hello, cute boy being cute with animals? They fall deeper in love with him every time. Also, imagine some time later, MC and Dan’s cats having kittens and then they’re trying to co-parent a couple of furry little babies. No, seriously, imagine Dan sitting on the floor while a bunch of tiny kittens try to climb all over him. Get that mental image in there.

At this point I have written a lot about how much I love Dan and I am fully aware that I’m rambling BUT I JUST THOUGHT OF MORE. Okay, you know the iconic Dan x MC Captain Incredible team up? Imagine Dan and MC slaying every single couples’ costume contest ever. They coordinate that stuff so well that they just own Halloween and nobody stands a chance. I mean, I did say they were goals, didn’t I?

And then of course there’s MC being so completely supportive of him when he starts seriously thinking about pursuing psychology as a career to help people cope with trauma. I mean, they know how complicated his own journey was and they are so proud of him for choosing to dedicate his life to that, since his caring nature is one of their favorite things about him. They probably help him prepare for his exams by setting up study dates to keep him motivated and working so he can make his career happen, and he’s just as supportive when it comes to whatever MC chooses to do.

Oookay, not that I don’t have lots of feelings about this, you know, ‘cause I really just went on and on about how I feel about Dan off the top of my head without any organization whatsoever, but I deadass thought “hey, this is a very long response” and put it through a word count and it is, no joke, over 1.4k words, so I really should stop talking now because people are gonna forget that my brand was supposed to be stanning Andy x MC, but the gist of it is Dan x MC is an amazing pairing, even it It Lives in the Woods didn’t explore the romantic potential there.