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#okay rant over srry
lit3rallyll0yd · 8 months
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Hey love, hope your all right. So Hoe about dazai with an s/o who always acts cheery and all childish like him in order to hide their immense trauma. So whenever someone scolds Them bit too loud reader flinches but again brushes it off?? ❤️
SRRY IS THIS TOO LIKE ANGSTY I RLLY AM CRAVING FOR HURT TO COMFORT RN----
You don't have to do it BTW ^^
"it's okay... to not feel happy all the time."
taglist : @justcallmesakira @riiwrites @silverbladexyz @atlasnessie
warnings : angst to comfort, lowercase writing, cursing, mention of past abuse, evil exes(heheh scott pilgrim), kunikida is SOOOO out of character holy shiiitttt (╥﹏╥) not proofread, sorry!!
HAII BABEEEE!!! consider your cravings feed!! i'm actually like this irl omg is that why i'm so excited to write this???? hope you enjoy
i love dazai so much :( my back hurts from slouchinggg i'll have back problems by the time i'm fricking twenty!!!!
osamu dazai x gn reader
dazai
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HEADCANONS ₊˚ෆ
you are so cute.
almost everyday is a new adventure for him when he's with you.
he's the first thing you see in the morning.
he opens his eyes and your all in his face like; "hi, sisters!!" and he literally shrieks, but don't tell anybody.
you start tickle fights with him all the time when you seem to be in an upset mood or just want to hear him laugh, but can you ever win?
he will play along with you because too be honest; he is just as childish as you are from time to time. ESPECIALLY when he's with you!!
you grab his arm a lot and jump up and down when something really gets you excited.
once, kunikida agreed to use his card to buy you some ice cream at the fair and you grabbed onto dazai's arm and almost slapped him in the face with his own hand.
he's never really understood why you get so like that over something so childish.
be glad it's not fyodor; SHEESH.
until, one evening.
you screwed up on a mission with atsushi; too which caused kunikida to throw his anger out on you. all the two of you were ordered to do, was to steal the documents you were ordered to retrieve in order to take down this small organization of scary gifted (not the port guys; •⤙•)
atsushi had to save you from a sudden attack, injuring him in the process, having no other choice but to retreat.
yosano treated him up right away.
atsushi noticed the way your arms would flinch up to your face each time kunikida would raise his voice, but honestly kunikida was just ranting about how stupid it was for you to get distracted over such a childish thing like a stray kitten.
he gave kunikida a look, saying to calm down and just go rage somewhere else without having you in the room.
after that you mentioned none of this to dazai; however atsushi thought telling him the way you reacted would be the right thing to do as both your friends.
SCENARIO ₊˚ෆ
"HOW can you be so careless, y/n?!"
it was almost like you felt a knife stab through your rib.
over and over for the past couple minutes kunikida has been going off about you getting distracted on the mission you and your weretiger friend, atsushi nakajima, were assigned on.
"i thought you would be perfect for this job because of how focused you were on all our other missions. WHAT HAPPENED?"
you gulped on your spit, your arms shalking from the once again booming voice come from kunikida.
it was a simple mistake-
"SIMPLE??"
atsushi side eyed you to see how you were holding as he was just awkwardly standing beside you as kunikida continued to just shout at you.
he would noticed your lips tremble ever so slightly, you head held down low as your fingers played with the fabric of your pants as you plucked up the courage to finally speak; "i'm sorry, kunikida. i didn't mean to screw up-"
"we'll, you wouldn't have to be sorry if you had just DONE YOUR JOB!"
your eyes were fixated on the floor still as you took in a deep breath, "jesus, i knew you were childish, but y/n what the fuck!?"
he swore.
atushsi was also getting a bit uncomfortable at kunikida's screaming session.
"atsushi got hurt on this mission, y/n, because you!"
without another word, you ran past atsushi who reached out t grab you back, however kunikida told him to let you go as he sat at his desk, removing his glasses, rubbing the bridge is nose.
with a frown he watched as you ran, looking at the carpeted floor to notice some tear stains following the exit.
you ran.
and ran, and ran, and ran.
into on coming traffic, past strangers who complained when you accidently bumped into them, and to yours and dazai's apartment.
there you were now. standing in the lobby of the apartment, the security guard awkwardly looking at you as you entered the elevator that has opened after a couple of seconds of waiting.
you used the mirror to look at yourself in as you quickly tried to wipe the tears away from your face, and maybe any makeup you may have had on? does it matter, it all melted away anyways!
your floor arrived, and the ding from the elevator dinged as you exit it and slowly walk toward the door of your home.
you fumbled for your keys that were in your pocket, even after all that running and bumping you did to get here, hands shaking with fear.
kunikida's voice echoed through your head; "are you really that childish? he never seemed to care...why does he have to shout?? there's no need for it, no? and even atsushi was there, double the embarrassment!!"
"'donna!?"
dazai's voice rang through your head as you looked up at him at the door step. oh, right, you unlocked the door but have yet to open it, causing osamu to do it for you.
"i thought you were at work, your shift doesn't end till..oh, well you still have 35 minutes?"
you pushed the thoughts in your head in the back of your mind, and gave him the biggest smile you could muster and hugged him, giggling and spinning around until you reached inside.
"don't worry, i just felt like coming home early to see my handsome and amazing boyfriend, who promised me ice cream waffles when i did get home!"
dazai chuckled, grabbing you by the waist and using his foot to close the door, managing to keep you in the air with one hand as he quickly used the other one to lock the door behind the two of you.
"well, i can tell someone's been excited all day?" you giggled, although your throat hurts from crying so much on the way here, dazai hadn't had seem to notice.
or so you think.
he placed you on the couch, gently kissing your lips before slowly pulling away. your eyes were still closed as he did and a smile on your face.
"feel free to choose whatever you like, my dear~" he taps the remote for the tv on your head and hands it to you; "well thank you kindly, my...man?"
he smiled at your cute comeback, causing you both to giggle as he walked to the kitchen.
you could hear him to rattle around with the toaster and opening and closing of fridges and freezers, probably for the ice cream.
when he was out of sight, you checked to feel anymore tears on your eyes and sniffled softly, not knowing dazai had already figured everything out.
"so, how was my sweethearts day, today? make any new friends?"
you chuckled, knowing he meant about the stray kittens you always seem to run to.
"it was alright, what about yours?" you tried to change the focus onto him, but he was smarter then that.
"mm, boring without my angel. day-off's are so sad without you," you heard the sound of the waffle popping out of the toaster, "didn't you have that mission today with atsushi? tell me, how did that go?
he expected the sudden silence that had filled the room. he scooped vanilla ice-cream into a small bowl for you; and only you, as he hummed.
"'donna, don't go quiet now. talk to me..."
you felt the tears roll back again. it was that voice that made you all emotional again. it was so soft and gentle, almost as if he's whispering into your when he's on the opposite of the room.
you took a shaky deep breath in as you stopped clicking the buttons on the remote, you stared at it, your hands shaking once again as you tried to control your crying.
dazai had a blank face was he added whip cream to top of the dish, and finally emerged from the kitchen...his eyes immediately on your figure which was seated on the couch, right where he left you, however your cute and childish personality wasn't.
he slowly walked over to you, his eyes drifting away from you to place the bowl on the table in front of you. you looked down to take a look at the dish; it was a waffle and ice cream scooped into it, like it's own bowl, and whip cream on the sides to give it the mountain shape, "you can do more then stare at it, ya'know?" he smiled, sitting beside you suddenly and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.
you felt yourself suddenly start crying; to which he pouts at; "it was first mission, darling, there will always be more-"
"IT'S NOT ABOUT ME FAILING IT!"
he looked at you like wide eyes and nod; "something more?"
you sighed loudly and hugged yourself, "it's just-" you kept stuttering due to your lack of breath from your sobbing,
"take your time, it's alright." he gently scratches your scalp to sooth you.
"kunikida...gohot so mahad...he...he yelled, he swore at him, he got close to my face...ahand the..thehe thoughts..ihi..ihi could only thihink abouhut my ex...whoho would do the sahame when i screhw something uhup.."
although you kept sniffling and breathing hard through, dazai understood each and every word.
his hands moved to rub the back of your neck, as his other held your hand tightly as you cuddled into him, your tears staining his dress shirt.
"ihi...just got schahared...ihi just whanted to...to have you...buhut i didn't want to bohother you with my prohoblems.."
dazai couldn't believe was he was hearing.
you, giving him problems about your mental health? what are you, MAD?? no, just insecure. which he understood completely.
"may i?" he asks, taking your cheeks in his one palm, making you look at him. not knowing what you agreeing to, he suddenly pulls you in for a tender, soft kiss.
you almost forgot what his kisses felt like, all the memories of your ex made you almost forget you have found somebody new, who will never, ever, want to hurt you without having any sense of what he's talking about.
moments later, he pulled away, placing his forehead to yours's as tears spilled from your eyes; however these were the tears that brought joy and happiness to your relationship.
he was never good with the words of comfort, however this is the reason why he is learning to be better, for you.
"there are bad, bad people in this world, and sometimes they change, some don't. i would know, but that doesn't mean everyone has such an evil heart. like you.." he chuckled, poking your chest, "you have such a pure heart, only the kindest of souls could ever have a chance to ever get close to it and open up to it. kunikida is just a grumpy man, when things don't go as planned he just goes.."
dazai circled his finger by his temple, causing that adorable smile to appear on your face.
"oh, there's that smiiile~" he laughed as he suddenly dig his long fingers into your soft sides, causing you to squeal and laugh immediately, "theres that smile, yeaah, awh~ your so cute, i could just eat you up-"
"DAHAZAI!"
you screeched when he nibbles on your neck, now tickling your upper ribs as well.
all those nasty thoughts that were in the back of your mind, dazai has a way of taking them and tossing them out the window and making sure you go to sleep with that cute smile on your face every night.
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puripurin · 6 months
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— There was something you could never understand even after spending a two years in this world. The first thing you experienced was when you were suddenly aware that you were in another world, was someone trying to kill you after they accused you of stealing their beloved.
All you had done was look around in the area you were dropped in, which was an allyway, before a man tripped on some rubbish before falling on you, to which their "yandere" screeched in horror before trying to rip out your windpipe.
By some miracle, someone had saved you both by shooting them in the head, and that was how you got introduced to AFHD, Assassins For Hire by Darlings. It was just a hitman agency created by various darlings who got sick and tired of yanderes breaking into their homes and killing several of their friends.
You and the man, named Cain, had almost immediately joined and started your training, and after you both finished, you rose through the ranks at lightning speed with Cain and you being nicknamed "Killer Duo", which admittedly made you flustered. But you can say that your quick rise up the ranks created this situation.
"Are you done with that blasted monolog?" The man said curtly. You huffed and rolled your eyes before continuing.
This man was the--
"Okay, that's enough. I'm done with your shenanigans because I know you're going to just complain." The man shook his head before speaking once more. "Now, as I was trying you say earlier, I don't want you to be in the organization anymore because these delicate fingers are to be welding daggers and guns, ratger they should be wrapped around my hard cock—"
"WHATTTT—"
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Srry for not posting the laziness was kicking innnnn, plus im starting to get into sewing because getting shit over seas is expensive and my style of clothes (lolita), it EXPENSIVE. All the shit i want is all in USD which i want 2 kill myself because the exchange rates are crazy, like "oh you want a $341 ball jointed doll base?" TOO BAD 2.3K IN MY CURRENCY >>>:((((((
Anyways enough ranting im tired like a horse. 😮‍💨😫
Edit: tags.
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inklore · 1 year
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I saw you post about how people should like to comment on writers work but I slightly sympathise bc some people are embarrassed and/or think that their comment/reblog would be useless. But more people are coming to this app to read a fic like another wattpad or an ‘easier’ ao3 instead of using their acc to post what they like yk
Srry for the rant <333
no need to apologize for the rant it’s always welcome here if it’s done in kind and yours was <3
i get what your saying about people coming to the app thinking it’s like all the other reading platforms but if we’re being honest i’d say ao3 is easier, better selection, plus when someone views your work your ‘hits’ go up and that can sometimes help more people find your work if they go by that / sort the fics on ao3 like that. wattpad literally has the same system of ‘views’ on your work that help boost it, but also commenting there is really big (as someone who was once on wp comments meant everything which is why i don’t get how ppl don’t understand that comments are everything here as well).
you could also say these other platforms make it seem like tumblr works the same way and it doesn’t, but even when writers try to spread the word on that fact not everyone wants to listen or sees it because people don’t rb (which tumblr was made for that let’s not forget).
but on this great app it doesn’t matter how many people view our work, read it silently, press the little heart, no one will see it unless you rb it. and being shy about commenting and thinking comments won’t matter is backwards thinking to me. how do you think writers feel knowing they have 100 notes and 10 of them are rbs and 0 comments? like we know there’s people out there reading our work and not even giving the pointless heart to it and there’s not much we can do about it, and yeah we are so grateful for all of it, but what we wouldn’t give to even have ONE PERSON comment some emojis on our fic. let us know that someone other than ourselves actually liked it. a ‘like’ can mean anything, it can mean nothing. it does nothing. it’s nice, it’s acknowledging, but that’s all it does. it’s a silent compliment that keeps our minds wondering.
if you weren’t embarrassed to read the fic you shouldn’t be embarrassed to comment on it. i’m not trying to sound harsh but it’s 2023, half the population reads fic. devours it. ppl are famous authors because of it now or get ‘tiktok fame’ over liking it. you commenting ‘omg amazing’ or putting two little emojis in a writers comments is only going to make them feel seen. feel great. feel like they’re not just posting stuff on here for bots. so i don’t super sympathize with people who are embarrassed because i just can’t wrap my head around it. but i’m also saying it’s okay and i’ve never once saw a writer get mad over anything someone has commented on their work (unless it’s been mean or a criticism they didn’t ask for or a ‘part two pls’).
if you like something on here reblog it!!!! comment on it!!!!!
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rosesfox · 7 months
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hello! okay kinda just wanted to pop in and share my thoughts on the last ask you received!! not trying to bash the person who sent that ask but im so confused why there are people who STILL think jacks had ever loved tella 😭 not only did he manipulate, lied to, and physically harmed her but everything he did in legendary and finale was for his own benefit. he also did not care about her and only started to pursue her after he found out that she was his “one true love” (srry i just have to laugh at this bc now that we know what the true curse is, this becomes hilarious to me) also, i don’t know why everyone seems to literally forget or completely disregard the fact that stephanie has told us readers point blank that jacks had never loved tella in evangeline’s point of view in tbona. since eva is our narrator, that’s how stephanie relays info to us readers. jacks was so selfish before meeting eva like everything he did was for his own wants and benefit, even wanting to go back in time to be with tella was for himself, not because he loved her or because for her happiness. but he gave all that up to save eva and he did not even hesitate!! everything he did in acftl was selfless because all he wanted was for evangeline to be safe. also, maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I thought evajacks’s first kiss was perfect?? like the way it was so gentle and hopeful and evangeline was seeing stars?? she even fainted because she was kissing jacks and then jacks was crying bloody tears and freaking out?? like it was simply so iconic!! could we have gotten more in chap 42? absolutely, but i don’t see anyone talk about how perfect their first kiss was 😭 anyways, so sorry for the rant but ive been seeing this discussion on tella and jacks over and over again and its kinda strange bc evajacks got their endgame and tellajacks is a ship that sunk years ago🫶🏻🫶🏻
beautifully spoken! i agree with absolutely everything. 🥰
i looooooove evajacks kiss too! evangeline bruising the back of jacks' neck, jacks pulling her against him and everything being so good that she simply forgot to breathe. it was such a good and romantic and intense kiss.
i'm also tired of tellajacks in all cases. it's not and never was something, and i don't know how people still have a romantic perception of them.
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yermes · 1 year
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Im not going to lie step kiddos; I’ve been feeling really sad an inadequate as of late. But instead of being angry and upset we’re going to sit down and work it out together
Heres some bread I baked (:
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Pick a picture (srry no meme today)
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Pick a card
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Power 🧠:
Four of disks, Chesed through earth,
The hard work of three has paid off now bitch its imposter syndrome time. While having stability and having the fruits of your labor something about it seems almost untrustworthy. You may have a fear of loss, or perhaps a greed for more depending on the struggle to get here. While you finally achieve stability do not over estimate it or underestimate yourself you do deserve good things.
Princess of Cups 🐢🪽:
Venus in water signs, Earth in the waters of Briah, Malkuth
You are on an island surrounded by water around you. You may be missing research, depth, or wisdom at the moment but you do have a moment of emotional freedom. Secluded and alone you can feel out your emotions however you can also sink into the emotions and give into day dreaming which is where you can feel inadequate to dreams you may be incapable of achieving atm.
Prince of swords 🦚 ⚔️:
21° Cap to 20° Aqu, Airs of Yetzirah, Tiphareth
OKAY so the air aspect of air: at best you’re pure manifestation and a plethora of creative thoughts at your worst you can be confusing and argumentative. Without any of the other elements its like hermes story of using his intelligence to cheat and lie through life. You need to get out of your head. Use your creativity but stop being mean to yourself. Utilize the other elements to manifest while also try and do something which will chase them mean voices away (I feel you girl its not easy :(
Story:
You know I’ve been all over the internet and I’m on tiktok because spending a humiliating amount of time looking at food online is my only hobby. But as of late witchtok took me back into its clutches. Now I don’t consider myself a witch: im a chaos magician but to each their own with their titles. The shocking combination of “tinned fishtok” aka rich people trying to appropriate and raise the value of my beloved canned fish. Along with the constant argument between practitioners of morals or karma or what have you. But I am about to end this whole debate. Yes; an no. Listen we live in a world where nothing is real yet everything is real at the same time. Our paradigms are shaped differently and are unique based upon our lives and experiences. Everyones moral code will be different. No you probably won’t change anyones mind by yelling at them on the internet. The other thing to look at is not every intention is going to be 100% good all the time and not every intention can be 100% bad. The words themselves good and bad are also subjective. While I think it’s admirable that some practitioners want to dedicate themselves to the “good” theres more than good out there. And what happens if your suppressed “bad” feelings come out in a negative way? So here it is; nothing is real and everything is real all at once. Thats why so many people who you would think would have similar practices have very different ones because the way magic looks and manifests to them depends on their reality which is different from their peers or yours. Anyways thats my rant I hope you come around for a rant/story/ reading another time I love that so many of you like my readings. (:
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borathae · 1 year
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I think the frustration over their whole situation or at least my personal one is that he’s so clueless. Like he doesn’t even see how he’s wrong & how many times he’s put her in harms way or just doesn’t notice when somethings off with her. Where as Yoongi is on top of his shit, always so hyper vigilant about the oc’s feelings and body language. He truly caters to her every need, and it’s so nice to feel cared for and wanted. I think Tae is way too aloof and my main frustration rn is that I feel that as long as he has jimin he doesn’t mind not having the oc. When the whole thing happened back in SA, he was more hurt over jimin than over oc, which okay, understandable bcs you thought he was dead but if I remember correctly at some point he thought oc was dead too & didn’t react as badly as he did with the news about jimin. Not to mention he wanted to turn off his emotions because he was so hurt over jimin, even though he still had the oc and she was trying her best to get him through it. I feel like he takes her for granted and that’s what I hate because she deserves so much more than that. Not to mention how easy he disregarded her when Fringella came around!?! Time and time again he proves that she just isn’t that important, bcs if we’re basing his feelings towards her off what he says .. ? He’s a sweet talker by nature, honey coated words drip off his tongue anytime he has sex with someone. So atp, it’s not enough. I’m glad she has Yoongi to really make her feel loved. Atp I just feel like if the oc were to give up and break up with him he wouldn’t really care, he’d have jimin so in his mind it’s fine. Jimin is enough for him, the oc is more dispensable. Even now, he’s choosing jimin over her, automatically called her a liar, just wasn’t there for her even though she almost died & is now completely MIA. I hate that I feel this way bcs I really did like tae but lately I feel as though his love is bluff :( srry for my ranting lol
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! istfg that's the typa energy I CAN get behind. I'm so into people analysing my characters and sharing their feelings for them with me afdsfsdk this was such a great read and I agree with you on many points.
Tae rn feels as if he doesn't really care for OC. And yeah obviously I won't ever invalidate his grief over Jimin and I understand why he is as clingy with him now (because yk he doesn't wanna loose him again), but it just sucks that that means he will disregard everybody else and even go as far as to stop caring for their feelings :( I think what Tae needs is for OC (or anyone else for that matter) to really tell him that "hey dude, the way you are acting lately? it's not okay and you'll lose people if you keep this up" no sugar coating and sweet words, just the blunt and harsh truth.
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projectdivaar · 4 months
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THEY HAVE TAXI 1 ON PRIMEEEE YEAHHHHH they don't have taxi 2 or 3 or 4 though. but i haven't seen taxi 1 soo it's a little bit okay? but I am. NOT pleased abt the lack of the greatest films ever (trust). w/e. I have £5, a dvd player and access 2 the CeX website. my woes will b over soon.
but i am in fact glad abt taxi 1 like this film goes insaneeee!!!! I doubt I would have watched it tho if it weren't for my French teacher playing the 2nd 1 4 us 1st. so that def influenced me but I'm rlly enjoying taxi 1 so far (45min in so far). I am recoiling at the Glaringly Obvious Made In Late Ninteies Comedy moments, but I still think its a good film. only an hr n 20 but it's rlly good 4 that tbh.
I screamed and shouted (not rlly it's 9pm) when émilien came on. love that guy. camille is also so lovely I would live with her aswell if I could. Daniel is a little shit bag and i love him. lilly hasn't appeared 2 much (2 my dismay (i think the most screentime she got was taxi 3??)) but i like it when she's on. I also LOVE petra I screamed and shouted when she appeared 2 she does not deserve 2 b in these stupid ass films she's 2 good 4 them
srry 4 taxi rant. it will happen again.
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gladiolidiaries · 1 year
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i wonder if his contract with republic has a set amount of albums / projects he has to release. i know he mentioned that he made sure the contract offered more freedom so he could control much of the aspects of his music career so i wonder if the contract is for a certain amount of years instead of projects wanted.
i do think even when october comes and we start getting a good consistency lol times of upload, i don't think his passion for music will fade (maybe the other things that come with music like interviews or whatnot maybe he wouldnt like those) so it will become a thing in the background that will happen.
i know maybe artists are different some release new albums every two years some more or sooner than that. others like releasing one off singles every so often. so i wonder and hope maybe he'll do his drusic every two years with one off singles if must between those times because i think that would let us get a good balance between drusic (or until his contract ends) and mc/yt content. plus tours only happen if bigger projects like ep/albums release so if its every two years i think it would be okay.
idk im curious about how he'll go about it. right now i definitely understand ppls panic over drusic taking over mc/yt content because it's all so new and we just dont know how he will balance it. i wish i could read his contract to get a better understanding of what to expect for the future. i do hope he finds the best possible way to balance it.
srry for the rant wth 😭
Same I'm so curious about this contract. I don't think there's a set amount of projects that needs to be done though.
Honestly people keep talking about october and the wave of content but i think we're gonna wait until november 😭 i think dream will be extra drained after the tour
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mintyvoid · 1 year
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so i bought and have now recived my anti planner, and while i imagine a bunch of the tools wont do anything- im hoping something helps. And ill try to speak up if anything does.
For some context i suppose if you dont regularly read my depressed rants, i was diagnosised autistic in 2020 but had been in therapy on and off since 2010 for anxiety and depression. I found a majority of resources not helpful or treading over ground ive already done years into- when I started researching 'okay so im autistic what the fuck do i do now, how do i get better'.
(I just keep ranting how shit doesnt seem to want to work for me below)
Most likely cause of all the years ive done work on myself, i am very self aware and quite good at communicating how im feeling. But found that none of the tools I learned helped long term or even enough to better my quality of life(now knowing this was because all those tools help people without a neuro disability, they simply were never going to work).
I've also found that a lot of the resources out there, include this book, are catered towards those with adhd, which while having a lot of simularities to autism- they are not the same. And though I had previously thought i was adhd, im like pretty sure this isnt the case(like in terms of a duo adhd n autism diag). So a lot of the stuff i end up finding /also/ doesn't work.
Though i cant reaally tell if its due to the autism or depression. A good example is the 'trick your brain' angle i see abundantly. To do things like 'set a timer to create a deadline or force panic' or similar time constrainted things simply dont work. I can feel incredible stress to complete something from a deadline or disappointed friend or angry manager and it do little to nothing to motivate me to do the actual thing. If i dont want to do something(or even if i want to do something but my brain for whatever reason doesnt let me), it doesnt happen- concequnce be damned.
I can break tasks into smaller chunks for days, but if i cant get up or move my arm to start said small task then it doesnt really matter does it? The one thing i can do is organize lol, but its the one thing that i see the most as advice- which is totally understandable as its not something taught so a majority would lack the skill. I was really lucky to seek help when i did and to then get actually good advice. It's probs been the only moment where help and support did actually help my quality of life.
Most likely I wont see any improvement in my life till I either go back therapy(actually find someone who can help someone like me, probs needs to be on meds again too) or can afford to create an environment thats supportive of my needs...or more than likely a combo of the two lol. Neither of which i see happening as both need money and i cant work nor get much from my disability program and cant work enough on online stuff to make that my income.
As an aside, i do know that many if not most, have it worse than i do. And i often feel that i simply cant complain about my own situation because im have a loving family that supports me as much as they can, im no where near homelessness, im not bipoc or a trans person, i could technically work but i would only be able to just work(aka id have to give up doing what i ant for a living and went to school for and actually am passionate about, and honestly typical work stresses and sucks so much energy out of me ugh id probs just burn out again n quit). I dont feel i can ask for money or support when there are others i feel need it way more than i do.
And i absolutely hate that what i have isnt enough, and that fact is also why i feel i cant vent. Srry this kinda went off the deep end.
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sapnapsimparc · 2 years
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eh
srry i just have to rant once again
so the boyf n i have this thing where if one sends hearts the other responds with one more than the original. last night he didnt respond to my hearts just to my next message. thats okay he was tiredorino.
we also have this thing that whoever wakes up later (i dont have school yet and he has work so he's up early but i get up around 10, so me usually) says good morning first to signal that they are available from then on. but even if i dont, he usually starts sending memes by 11. but we had a conversation a couple days ago that he misses my good mornings and i said i sometimes delay them so i can wake up properly before the spam of memes. well today i didnt really wake up, its past 3pm and this is the first time ive been awake for over an hour today, but he also didnt message me at all yet? and idk whats going onnnn it feels like he's having a bad time or idk but it might just be me projcetinggg idk
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possessed-cryptid · 4 years
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kinda feels like my brain has been dipped in acid and then someone tried to fix it by literally frying it at a mcdonalds just mixed in with the fries tbh
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kouga-appreciation · 6 years
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Imagine Kouga begin to develop feelings for his future s/o over Kagome. But, oh no! What's this? Some other demons (depending on personal self shipping) have also taken interest! Looka like he'll have to compete and show that he's the best option! Or poly. Poly is also good.
Give me competitive/jealous-for-someone’s love Kouga or give me death
Kouga is definitely the best option 12/10 what the hell s/o there is no contest, other demons just go home
“Or poly. Poly is also good.“
Poly is not good anoN NO – like just whatever so two ppl irl can have a mutual understanding and do poly and that’s their business I guess but LIKE POLY FOR KOUGA SPECIFICALLY, NO NHJDKSJFDNJK
This smol smol rant is fueled by me being indignantly overprotective of my wolf bae ha it happens – But I think poly would not be suitable for Kouga… because we all know Kouga is loyal af and gives his whole heart away to whoever he falls for… He’d be 110% devoted to his s/o – and would not be keen on sharing them. And he absolutely deserves someone who’s 110% devoted to him as well. So. No room for anyone else there.
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totiredtowrite · 3 years
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could you do a yamaguchi x male reader with the reader looking all delinquent-y and is always glaring his eyes at anything and anyone and yamaguchi finds himself at the end of his glares 50% of the time and is even more scared when reader joins the volleyball club
reader's proven to be a good spiker and server with good aim faraway and is immediately welcomed to the team w/ tanaka trying to look all manly and cool lol
all fine and dandy with everyone but yamaguchi cant help but feel unsettled bc of the glares and seemingly angry demeanor reader always has
but then reader walks smackdab right into the pole of the volleyball net and its revealed he was extremely farsighted
shhxhhthxg srry if this was too long i was spaced out while typing
Farsighted
Warnings - Cursing
Note: It's sort of hinted that reader doesn't have freckles (cause plot point) so if you do just pretend for the homie okay <3
Male Reader
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Yamaguchi wasn't the best with people. That was pretty much a fact, his nerves often got in the way of letting him talk to people.
And sure, maybe he laughed more often than not when Tsukki was picking on their teammates, but it's not like he's ever done anything to warrant any enemies.
Well, that's really what he tells himself to try and ease his fear. It's true of course, but it doesn't help much.
He has a reason to be nervous though! Anyone would be scared when the delinquent in their class seems to have it out for them.
The delinquent in question was you. You transferred to his class about two months ago. You usually had your school jacket off and around your shoulders, hands and knuckles covered in bandages. The seller though was your expression.
Always glaring everywhere. You had a frown etched on to your face, (seemingly permanently), and your eyes were usually squinted to the point that he couldn't make out your eye colour. He was nervous that maybe you were like those kids in grade school, and you'd start making fun of him for his freckles like they did.
Poor sweet Yamaguchi usually seemed to find himself on the receiving end of that terrifying glare about 50 percent of the time. He doesn't even know what he did wrong! He was always meek around you, trying his best to disappear and avoid making you angry. Disappearing was rather hard to do though, seeing as he's almost six feet tall.
He doesn't really know what exactly he did to get on your bad side, but at least he was safe outside of school and during club activities, right?
Wrong.
Yamaguchi knew what to expect when he walked into the gym. Some members practicing, Tanaka complimenting Kiyoko to no end, other members making their way to the locker rooms. It was like a safe haven to him, where nothing except maybe a volleyball to the face could go wrong.
That sense of safety was thrown to the ground, stepped on, hit with a baseball bat, and then haphazardly put back into place the moment he walked into the gym and saw you. You were standing in front of the third years and Coach Ukai, talking to them.
Yamaguchi was simply frozen in place. His bag dropped to the floor.
The sudden sound caused Hinata to look up, and upon noticing Yamaguchi, he bounded over to him.
"Yamaguchi!" Hinata skidded to a stop in front of him. "Did you see the new guy? You should have seen his serve! He's super strong! is aim is awesome!" As Hinata was ranting about how accurately you could spike, Yamaguchi had his eyes locked on where you stood.
Tanaka had his arms crossed over his chest, trying to seem as masculine as possible.
"We have an extra uniform anyways," Ukai shrugged, "Welcome to the team, number 13."
This was not happening.
🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡
So maybe it didn't suck so bad.
The team loved you, as you had insane far away accuracy with your serves and spikes. You weren't all that loud, and you actually seemed kind of nice.
That didn't mean the glaring stopped though. Now more than never, it felt like your eyes were always scornfully etched into the back of his head. The feeling was unsettling, almost scary. Yamaguchi even considered faking sickness to get out of gym. He found himself trying to hide his freckles more often.
He shuddered as he slowly made his way out of the changing rooms to see you, Tsukishima, Daichi, Sugawara, Ennoshita, Hinata, and Kageyama getting ready for practice.
Tadashi darted to Tsukishima's side quickly.
Yamaguchi watched you as he sat down to stretch. You had just gotten up. Now you were attempting to walk over to the sidelines, when a loud thunk was heard.
"Ouch- dammit," you cursed softly. Yamaguchi noticed you squinting your eyes more.
"Yo (y/n)! What was that?" Tanaka laughed.
You scoffed, rubbing the red mark on your forehead. "I'm farsighted," you frowned. "That pole practically disappeared from my damn sight."
Tsukishima rolled his eyes. "Wear your glasses, idiot."
You sent a hard, and actual, glare his way. "Still waiting on them to be fixed. The stupid place is taking forever."
Yamaguchi blanked.
Practice continued as usual, though Yamaguchi was more confused than anything. Did you not really hate him then? Your eyesight was just shit? But why were you always squinting at him specifically?
By the end of practice he had decided to man up and just ask you about it.
"(Y/n)...?" His voice was more quiet than he wanted it to be.
You shot your head up to look at him. "Why are you- why are you always glaring at me?" He hadn't meant to say glare. 'Squinting' would have been much more appropriate, but there wasn't really any taking his words back now.
You tilted your head. "Glaring?"
He nodded. "Is something wrong with me somehow? Or my- my face?" He didn't mean to say that either.
"Why would you say that?" You moved back a bit to get a better look at him.
"S'just, uh," well what should he say now? "Some kids in school used to say my freckles were weird and stuff," he was shuffling nervously. "I just thought that you maybe thought- uh, the same thing."
You stood in silence for a couple seconds.
"Of course not!" You said suddenly, reaching (up/down/over) to cup his face in your hands. "I just wanted to see you better," you looked away nervously. "I think they're cute." You two stood like that for a little too long. Yamaguchi was slowly turning red, your hands cupping his face.
"Uh..."
"Right sorry," you moved your hands away from his face and bounced on your heel softly.
..."Are you two done yet?" Tsukishima walks past. "I wanna get home," he pulled his headphones around his neck and moved past you.
"Right, sorry Tsukki!"
Yamaguchi was about to run off, but you stopped him quickly.
"This means we're friends, right?"
Yamaguchi paused for a beat before he answered you.
"Yeah, we are."
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alright then can I request headcanons of vincent with an autistic s/o that really loves horror movies, and they love analyzing meanings of movies and characters and rants a lot.
and the s/o struggles with emotional regulation. BUT an easy way to help the s/o is physical affection (head bonks and being picked up is a favorite of mine)
srry thats like incredibly specific its the best thing i could think of that doesnt totally involve my mental illness and insecurity. sorry,
No, it's cool!! I love analyzing horror movies so this was really fun to write :) I did a short little ficlet I hope you enjoy :))
Movie Night (Vincent x Reader)
Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, Vincent is best bf, head bonks, hand holding, best listener award goes to Vincent
Word Count: 464
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Tonight was your favorite night. Movie night. Like always Vincent had let you pick the film. It was one of your favorites, one you were practically bubbling over with excitement to watch again.
Vincent had brought down a little TV for his studio soon after he found out how much you liked horror movies. It was a box TV, set on a table that he could roll around wherever he pleased. He maneuvered it in front of his bed, and held up an okay sign to ask if that was good. You were quick to nod, and he put on the brakes. Movie time.
He put in the tape, and came over to sit besides you on the bed. His bed was usually pretty scarce, with just a few pillows and a blanket, but you'd practically dragged every pillow and blanket in the house downstairs for nights like these. You held your arms out for him, and he was quick to accept the offer. Now that you were curled up with the movie starting, your boyfriend besides you, and popcorn in your hands, the pair of you could finally settle.
As the opening scene started, you were quick to point at it, and you exclaimed,
"Look, look! Did you see that? It's really early, but that was actually some major foreshadowing," You started, only pausing around mouth-fulls of popcorn. Vincent wasn't surprised by your eagerness to analyze the movies, and his blue eye trained on you as you stared at the screen.
While, sure, it was called movie night, that wasn't why Vincent enjoyed it. He rarely paid attention the screen, opting to listen to you talk instead. And, while his mask was as stoic as ever, Vincent smiled fondly at how you rattled off various amounts of trivia.
He scooted closer, wrapping his arm around you tighter. He leaned forward, bumping his forehead against yours, before he reached to hold your hand. You gave his large hand a squeeze, looking down to pick any remaining wax off his fingers as you explained all the subtle complexities of the movie. And, well, added a few of your own non-confirmed theories.
It was only when the climax hit that you realized you'd almost completely talked through it. You felt bad for a moment, knowing that you always did this.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to- You can tell me to stop." But Vincent bumped his mask against you again to get your attention. You looked over at him, and watched as he signed,
"No, it's fine. I like it." And, you could see the crinkle in his eye as he smiled behind his mask. "Keep going." He signed then, and you smiled back and cuddled closer before you tried to think of where you'd left off.
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elytrafemme · 2 years
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i wrote like a massive rant about the way english/literature is taught in highschool (i know nothing of how it is in college and i suspect is varies from college to college) and realized that it is just simply not necessary. however i understand your pain at least a little. last year in my honors english class (there’s no ap english classes at my school) the teacher had us do worksheets on narratives with the same crap on it that i did in like 3rd grade.
i am full of spite (almost said sprite, which i haven’t had in a bit. except that one night where i tried salt and sprite) and i think i’ve learned more about literary analysis on youtube than in school. which might be a bold statement but i mean i didn’t do well in english till i started watching videos of people explaining how to write stories and ways to analyze them and stuff.
okay anyway good luck on your work and i realize this is just as unessisary as my long rant i didn’t sent so you can delete this if you wish. just sending you support and also like a solemn nod of understanding. glad to see it will not get better in any future year of school </3
hey jinx my bestie im half awake srry for response rambly yeah
LITERALLY. YEAH. it's sooooo ridiculous ive taken so many english classes that just tell me to do the same fucking busy work and i dont get what the difference is meant to be? just MORE work? thats not what we should be doing! that isnt analysis! im very passionate aobut this subject so it irks me heavily!
i dont like sprite but i do wonder what the salt and sprite experience is. and no literally i think class curriculum needs to do MORE abt teaching analysis and i think there r soooooo many amendments needed for English classrooms 2 do it. i could have done a project on it that might have actualy helped but nobody answered my god damn email so i guess that interview data just sits in my google docs now
ty my friednd <3 its ok i do love my classes next yr EXCEPT MULTIVARIABLE CALCULUS. and kind of choir I love choir but like everyone in that class except my best friend and one other girl hates me bc im a complete social recluse and kind of mean. im working on the latter one and the former well it makes me comfortable to be alone and i should allow that so long as i am not being rude abt it! constant character progression babyyy i amgetting kinder over time!!!!! but yes good luck 2 u too
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wetslug · 7 years
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