#okay okay I think I'm done this got a little out of hand I'm just like

[greatw0r]

DOMESTIC MOMENTS with sevika ✶ sevika x female reader -> just fluff and happy christmas everyone !

˖ ࣪⭑

waiting for her to come home, it's late and cold- she walks in and quiet as she thinks you're asleep " hi sev " you said softly from the couch and she turns around with an frown.

" I tought you were asleep honey " she said and walked over to the couch, pulling your legs to her lap caressing them soflty.

" I wanted to wait for you " you said resting your head on your hand. " I can't sleep well without you anyways " you smiled soflty and so did she . She could see the tired look in your face and how you were about to dooze off.

She was tired herself but she got up and scooped you in her big arms, lifting you without a struggle. " let's get you to bed now , I'm here " she said and walked to your room , gently putting you on the bed and pulling the covers on top of you.

" want me to give you a massage ? You look like you need one " you said making yourself comfortable under the bed, watching her change to some more comfortable clothes and take off her heavy boots.

" you look like you'd fall asleep on top of me- its okay doll thankyou anyway " she said with an chukle watching your eyes threatening to close for once.

she took off her ponytail and got into the bed, immediately pulling you close to her body and you happily let her, feeling the warmth that came from her body.

" I love you " you whispered into the comfortable silence, and she tightened her grip you. "I love you too sweet thing"

˖ ࣪⭑

" you know what we should do ? " jinx's voice loud and a little to annoying for sevika.

" what ? " you asked from your spot on the couch, jinx laying upside-down with her head on the end of the couch and legs on the top.

" we should totally cook something ! I'm starving and so is Isha " she said and little Isha nodded agreeing .

" last time you were in my kitchen you nearly exploded it all off " sevika groaned and you chuckled patting her thigh.

" well she was alone- I'm sure us four could do something eatable " you said and winked at jinx who squealed and jumped off the couch heading to the kitchen, Isha running after her.

" she's going to burn our house " sevika said and you kissed her cheek , wiping the lipstick off her. " if we keep an eye on her she won't- cmon " you said and got up, grabbing her arm and pulling her off the couch- her rolling her eyes with an huff.

As you two walked into the kitchen jinx already had eggs, milk, butter and other ingredients you didn't remember you had . " oh slow down- maybe don't empty our fridge yes ? " sevika said looking around the mess.

" jinx- what are you making ? " you asked and she turned around with her hands up.

" pancakes duh ? - Isha requested " jinx said and Isha smiled.

" do you know ... how to do it ? " you asked and sat down on the kitchen table- sevika following you and Isha immediately runned to her, getting lifted by her arm

" of course ! can't be that hard " she said and you nodded . cut to everything getting done and surprisingly it was good- not great but- definitely eatable.

" see ? I'm a professional " jinx said and you feed sevika a bite, watching her eyebrowns go up in surprise.

" right- don't feed her ego tho " sevika mumbled to you and you laughed.

˖ ࣪⭑

" here " sevika said watching you get ready, handing you a box simply decorated but with love, your name written with a heart in the end- that had to be jinx's work. you turned to her with an smile .

" it's not midnight yet " you said and grabbed it from her hands. " I know- but ... I wanted you to wear it while we're having dinner and-.... I already told you what it is " she sighed and shaked her head.

" oh sev its alright- " you said and opened the box, revealing a long dark brown dress- you look at her and at her dark brown bottom up shirt. isn't she adorable.

" it's beautiful... you just wanted to match huh ? " you smirked and took the dress out of the box.

" It was jinx's idea... but she made a good point " she said and watched you get undressed .

" and what it was ? " you asked putting the dress on

" we are a couple- you're the women of my life and she said couples to this- match and all " she said wanting to sound like she didn't put much thought to it when all that was going on in her head was if you really like the dress and the meaning behind it.

" that we are ... " you smiled and adjusted the dress. " can you help me with the - " you didn't have to finish- her hands were already on your back, lifting the zipper up and giving your shoulders a squeeze.

" thankyou- I love it - we look beautiful " you said looking at the two of you trough the mirror and sevika smiled, pressing her chin on your head and wrapping her arms around your waist.

" we sure do " she said and kissed the top of your head.

" you're gonna have to wait until midnight for yours " you said and she turned you to her. " that's no problem angel " she said and kissed you reaching her hand to cup your cheek and pull you closer-

" I guess I'm a brilliant advisor " jinx's voice stopped your moment and she laughed- making sevika groan.

" you are now shoo- go see whats Isha up to " you laughed and kissed sevika back -

[grandprixprincess]

hermana part 4 || ln4

lando norris x reader smau + written

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

warnings: slight angst for like 5 seconds, some language, suggestive language, mostly fluff, down bad lando, supportive big bro carlos, lando and y/n are in LOVEEEE, carlando fans this one is for u <3

a/n: sorry for the delay on this, was feeling a bit uninspired and wanted to wait until inspiration struck me again! this is the final part BUT I love this concept/universe so much, so if you have any requests for smaus/blurbs within this universe, please lmk <3 the photo limit kinda limited me on this one :/

yourusername posted a story

caption: P4 for 4 and P5 for 55 🧡❤️

story replies:

yoursister ❤️

yourusername 🧡 (shhh) yoursister 😂 I'm telling Carlos yourusername NO PLS

landonorris me and bae look so good here 😍

yourusername 🙄 landonorris fine i'm done landonorris where are you :( i need kisses yourusername idk go find ur bae landonorris I'M TRYING but i can't find you yourusername fineeee meet me in your drivers room landonorris 😏 yes ma'am

"Lan, we should go."

"Just a few more." He pressed another sweet kiss to your lips, followed by another. "I've been deprived of your kisses all afternoon, do you blame me?"

You giggled, letting Lando continue to give you lazy kisses. "No, but we're going to be late for dinner."

He shrugged his shoulder. "Let's skip it. Let's order in, eat in the room..." He continued to give you kisses as he spoke. "I just want you all to myself tonight."

"What are we going to tell Carlos?"

Lando groaned, letting his head fall to your shoulder. "That muppet is the biggest cock block."

You laughed again, letting your hands lazily play with his growing curls as you said, "If we hurry, we can make dinner, and I'll make it up to you after we're done."

Your words made Lando's head lift up immediately, his eyebrow quirked. "Make it up to me, hmm?"

You nodded, letting your fingers continue to caress his curls. You knew just what to do to have Lando wrapped around your finger. "You did so good today, baby." You tugged a bit on his hair, Lando's eyes fluttering shut for a moment. "I'm proud of you."

His eyes locked on yours again, full of adoration. "I'll try and win the sprint tomorrow for you, yeah?"

"Okay, deal." You gave him one last kiss before grabbing his hand, guiding him to the door. "Let's go, cowboy."

Lando let out a laugh and rolled his eyes playfully, "People are still calling me cowboy, y'know."

landonorris posted

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, maxfewtrell, and others

landonorris Howdy Austin 🤠

all photo creds to this cutie yourusername

tagged: yourusername, carlossainz55

view all comments

user1 "this cutie" 🥰

user2 lany/n on main FINALLY

user3 lany/n pic before carlando pic...oh it's so real they're in love

yourbestfriend 🧡

maxfewtrell I'm surprised you got her to wear that color

yourusername me too carlossainz55 me three yourbestfriend me four landonorris me five

f1gossip posted a story

caption: Lando and Y/N have arrived bright and early for Sprint and Qualifying day at the #USGP.

f1 posted

liked by user1, user2, user3, yourusername, and others

f1 The points scorers from the Austin Sprint! ✨

🏆 Verstappen 🥈 Sainz 🥉 Norris

view all comments

user1 this was actually a great sprint ngl

user2 CARLANDO 2-3 LFG

user3 mad max is back

user4 lando said he was happy but he still looked so upset after

user5 he's always like that it's so annoying user2 every point counts, he had 2nd place until the last lap, of course he's probably a little upset user6 y/n liked the post, I think he's fine

f1gossip posted

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, and others

f1gossip Trouble in paradise? Y/N was seen entering the paddock with Carlos today following the on track battle between Carlos and Lando from yesterday's sprint race at the #USGP. She has not been seen anywhere near the McLaren garage today ahead of the race this afternoon.

view all comments

user1 NO PLEASE

user2 it's a race 🙄 tf does lando expect, for carlos to let him pass????

user3 fr and leave y/n out of it. it was clean racing

user4 chill she doesn't need to be with lando 24/7

user5 exactly!!!

yourusername posted stories

story 1 caption: RACE DAY FORZA FERRARI 🏎

story 2 caption: it's too hottttt for this jacket ☀️

story replies to story 1:

landonorris please text me back

landonorris can I please see you?

user2 queen are you going to see your man 😔

user3 i love that the tifosi didn't lose you entirely to the orange man

story replies to story 2:

yourbestfriend but such a slay!!!

landonorris you're hottttt

landonorris ok but really please respond baby

You were sitting in the Ferrari hospitality looking over the messages Lando had sent you the past few hours. You were currently debating if you should message Lando back.

"Here, put this on."

Carlos' words made you look up from your phone. In Carlos' hand was a papaya-colored shirt, causing you to shoot him a confused look. "Uh, what is this for?"

Carlos shoved the shirt in your hand. "Put it on, and go to McLaren."

Looking at the shirt closer, it seemed to be a McLaren branded shirt. "Where did you even get this?"

Rolling his eyes, Carlos replied, "It doesn't matter. Put it on, go to McLaren, and watch the race over there."

You were at a loss for words. "But...I've always watched the race from your garage."

"Yeah, well that was then, this is now." You looked down at the shirt again. "It's okay, Y/N."

"Why though?"

Carlos took a seat next to you. "I talked to him. He told me what he said. Why didn't you tell me what happened?"

You avoided eye contact with him. "I didn't want you to get mad. I was so happy and proud of you yesterday; I didn't even think twice about wanting to celebrate before thinking about the stress he's been under by the team."

He bumped his shoulder with yours, getting you to look up at him. "He feels bad. He looked like he wanted to cry." Carlos chuckled. When you stayed silent, he continued. "He loves you. I can tell that you love him. You should go and be with him."

Lando loves you? "Lando loves me?"

Carlos smirked, shaking his head. "Manita, that boy has loved you since the moment you two met."

"Lan?" Even though you knew he was inside waiting for you, you still knocked. The door swung open not a moment later, revealing Lando, already in his fireproofs, with the rest of his race suit hanging by his legs. You glanced up at him, sending him a small smile. "Hi."

Lando stared at your adoringly, and if it was possible, even more so after glancing down at your papaya shirt. "Hi." He nervously held his arm out, beckoning you inside. "Please, come in."

You walked in, taking a seat on the couch. Lando stood by the door a few feet away, like he was afraid if he got too close, he'd scare you off. You held out your hand this time, urging him closer. "Baby, come sit with me. Please?"

At your soft tone, Lando sat down. He nervously grabbed your hand and lightly squeezed. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I never should've gotten angry with you." He kept his eyes locked with yours, wanting you to truly feel the sincerity of his words. "I wanted to apologize this morning, but then you left, and I got angry again. But you were right about needing space. It made me realize how stupid I was..." He began to rub soft circles on your hand. "You're the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I mean that. It's you. It's always been you. I'll never take that for granted again."

Lando's words rendered you speechless. Your next words came out before you could even think about it. "I love you."

Silence rang between you two for a moment, before Lando spoke. "Say it again. I want to make sure I'm not dreaming."

You giggled. "I love you, Lando Norris." You reached your hand out, cupping his cheek.

Lando melted into your touch, smile overtaking his face. "I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N." Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss on your lips. "Do you forgive me?"

You nodded, pecking his lips again. "Yes, baby." A comfortable silence fell between you as you shared a few more sweet kisses. "I can't believe you told Carlos. I also can't believe he let you live."

Lando laughed, nodding his hand. "Not gonna lie, it was scary, but not as scary as losing you would've been."

"Well good thing I'm staying; you're never getting rid of me."

"Good." Lando kissed you again. "Now, let's get you set up in the garage for the race. The entire team can't believe you're here. I think some of them placed bets on it."

You laughed, grabbing Lando's hand, letting him lead you to the garage.

f1gossip posted

liked by user1, user2, user3, and others

f1gossip 🚨 Y/N is watching the Austin GP from the McLaren garage! 👀 She was spotted walking around the paddock rocking papaya! 🧡

view all comments

user1 OMGGG???

user2 bye they're so endgame

user1 right like wdym she's not watching the race from her brother's garage???  😭😭😭

user3 lany/n nation how we feeling

user4 girl literally posted "forza ferrari" like 2 hours ago 😂

user2 god forbid a girl have hobbies user5 it's called multitasking 💅

user5 y/n back in the mclaren garage 😭 we won

yourusername posted stories

story 1 caption: back in the sea of papaya 🧡

story 2 caption: my man 🥰🤩😋

story 3 caption: cota photo dump coming soon 📸😉

story 1 replies:

yourbestfriend wait omg???

yourusername hehehe 😋

yoursister UMMM 🤨

yourusername it was carlos' idea!!!! yoursister 🤯

story 2 replies:

yourbestfriend can't believe i lost you to the orange man 😔 but ya'll are cute or wtv

user1 HIS SMILE I'M CRYING

oscarpiastri he was soooo sad and annoying this morning, I applaud you for dealing with...that

yourusername lmaooo imma stick beside him 😌 yourusername i had so much fun hanging out with lily during the race btw 🥺 that's my wife now oscarpiastri oh god...

landonorris hey i love you

yourusername i love YOU landonorris i love youuuuu landonorris I LOVE YOU landonorris sorry it just feels so good to say yourusername i love you sosososo much 👩‍❤️‍👨

story 3 replies:

user3 omg wait are we getting yn.jpg???

user2 yn.jpg would heal me

landonorris posted

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, yoursister, lnfour, and others

landonorris till next time TX ☀️

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri

view all comments

yourusername the tag on my leg is crazy ♥︎ by author

yourusername proud of u cowboy 🤠

landonorris 🤠

user1 it's the way y/n always puts a smile on lando's face!!!! like bye i would die for them

user2 protect lany/n at all costs

carlossainz55 posted

liked by iamrebeccad, yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and others

carlossainz55 🇺🇸🏆 P2!

view all comments

scuderiaferrari On to Mexico to keep pushing 💪

user1 FERRARI 1-2 ❤️🏎

user2 we almost had a carlando podium 😔

user3 forreal 😭 y/n is about to go feral on the fia user2 when they cut to her in the garage reacting to lando's penalty i lost it 😭 someone hold my girl back user3 nah let my girl fight

yourusername proud of you hermano!!! ❤️

yourusername also damn no photo creds, that podium changed you 😔

carlossainz55 🙄 user4 waitttt carlos lando and y/n on the same flight 😭 this takes me back to the carlando mclaren days 😭 user5 we're soooo back

yoursister 👏👏👏

landonorris mega drive mate 👏

yourusername posted

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, iamrebeccad, and others

yourusername yee-haw 🤠

view all comments

yoursister ❤️🧡 (forza ferrari tho)

yourusername 😂 carlossainz55 😂 carlosonoros 😂 iamrebeccad 😂 landonorris 😅

user3 stop the whole sainz family on the flight w lando and y/n😭😭

user2 they're literally going to adopt him at this point

user1 everyone say thank you y/n for the carlando content

yn.jpg posted

liked by lando.jpg, landonorris, daniel3.jpg, and others

yn.jpg 🇺🇸 cota '24 mems

view all comments

user1 YN.JPG I REPEAT YN.JPG

user2 lando liking on both accounts he's so real

lando.jpg 📸

daniel3.jpg welcome to the .jpg family

yn.jpg thanks mate 😄

yourusername posted a close friends story

story caption: next stop: mexico 🇲🇽

story replies:

landonorris baby where did you even get this pic

yourusername 😈 hehehe

carlossainz55 lmao

yourusername thank you for sending me this pic

yourusername posted stories

story 1 caption: just here to look cute and make sure they don't kill my boyfriend 👍

story 2 caption: my lunch dates 🥰

story 1 replies:

yoursister smh less than 12 hours in mexico and they dragged you to a golf course????

yourusername yes 🤦‍♀️ they practically interrogated lando the whole time yoursister and so will I in abu dhabi 🤨 yourusername please have mercy

user1 omg you're in mexico??? more y/n in the paddock content 🙏

landonorris thank u 🙏 I think I won sainz sr over

yourusername yes you tell yourself that baby 😄 whatever you wanna believe 😄 landonorris wait what

story 2 replies:

alexandrasaintmleux can we still have lunch dates together next year? 😭

yourusername yes 😭

iamrebeccad love youuu

yourusername love youuu my sister 👯‍♀️

landonorris posted stories

story 1 caption: made it out alive ⛳️

story 2 caption: quick snooze before practice with my favorite person

story 3 caption: quali ready 🇲🇽

story 1 replies:

carlossainz55 if you think my dad and I are intimidating, just you wait

landonorris wait what carlossainz55 🤣 carlossainz55 you've never met y/n's dad, have you? landonorris ...no carlossainz55 LMAOOOOO 🤣😂

story 2 replies:

user3 favorite 😭 person 😭

maxfewtrell simp

oscarpiastri caught you guys in 4k

story 3 replies:

yourusername omg

yourusername i'm on my knees give me a chance pleaseeeeee

yourusername PLEASEEEEEE 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

yourusername posted stories

story 1 caption: tell a friend to tell a friend...SHE'S BAAAAACK

story 2 caption: celebrating that amazing quali with our family :) P1 AND P3 BABYYYY

story 1 replies:

scuderiaferrari Thought we lost you there for a second 😅

yoursister aww yay I'm glad you'll be with everyone

landonorris damn that was quick

yourusername hehe love you <3 landonorris love you ;)

story 2 replies:

carlosonoros not that you need it, but he's got my seal of approval prima 👍

yourusername this is why you're my favorite

user1 "our family" 🥺

carlossainz55 posted

liked by scuderiaferrari, landonorris, yourusername, charles_leclerc, iamrebeccad, and others

carlossainz55 P1 in Mexico! 🇲🇽🏆 Winning here in front of this incredible crowd is amazing, definitely a weekend to remember 🙌

Grateful to be surrounded by loved ones this weekend, thank you for all the support!

view all comments

user1 that was very smooth operator of you

yoursister VAMOSSSS 🔥 wish I was there to celebrate!

yourusername I;M STILL CRYIGN

yoursister ME TOO iamrebeccad ME THREE

user2 who else started crying seeing the entire sainz family celebrating

user3 🙋‍♀️ user1 they all looked so proud during the podium 😭 user3 so happy mama sainz was there to witness carlos win irl

user5 the smile on y/n's face seeing her brother and her man celebrating on the podium together ❤️🧡

user1 rebecca and y/n hugging each other during the race got me😭

user2 i'm glad y/n was in the ferrari garage this week

landonorris bravo carlitos 💪

f1gossip posted

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, and others

f1gossip 🚨 Carlos Sainz and Lando Norris are celebrating their 1-2 finish in Mexico together with the Sainz family!

view all comments

user1 carlos and lando sitting next to each other and not rebecca and y/n lmaoooo

user5 lando literally sending heart eyes to carlos AND y/n in the same video😭

user2 carlando is soooo back

user3 lando is literally an adopted sainz now

user2 lando 🤝 y/n, both being adopted by the sainz family

user4 lando norris-sainz fr

yourusername posted

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, iamrebeccad, lilyzneimer, scuderiaferrari, mclaren, and others

yourusername what a weekend to remember 🇲🇽🏆 grateful to be here and witness my hermano take the top step of the podium (and he had some pretty good company with him 😉)

endlessly proud of you both carlossainz55 landonorris <3

& thx for the cool jacket mclaren 😎

view all comments

landonorris 🧡 ♥︎ by author

mclaren you're welcome, we wanted to welcome you back to papaya army properly 🧡😎

scuderiaferrari 🤨 user3 did the ferrari admin forget that carlos is leaving in like 2 months lmaoooo user4 fr y/n will be decked out in blue in march

carlossainz55 gracias hermanita, te amo ❤️ Estoy feliz de poder compartir estos momentos contigo (thank you little sister, I love you. I'm happy I can share these moments with you) ♥︎ by author

yourusername llorando de nuevo ily😭 (crying again ily) user1 i think everyone is also crying again 😭❤️

user4 my lany/n heart can't take this

yoursister bravo carlos and lando !!!

landonorris thank u 😎 carlossainz55 🙏💪

lilyzneimer let's wear our jackets next gp you're here pls

yourusername twin where have u been</3 nobody knows me like u do</3 miss u lilyzneimer miss u </3 oscarpiastri stop 😃 landonorris 😂

charles_leclerc i was on the podium too....

alexandrasaintmleux shush user1 LMAOOOO

user2 the sweetest post 😭😭😭

You were out at a club in Mexico celebrating the race results. It was loud and packed, but Lando's hand on your hip secured you and made you feel safe.

The two of you watched as Carlos got lifted in the air by a few members of his team. You laughed, shaking your head before turning to face your boyfriend. You leaned close to his ear so he could hear you. "Having fun?"

Lando smiled. "With you? Always." He lightly squeezed your hip, then brought his head down to plant a kiss on your lips. "I'm so lucky."

"So am I." You turned fully to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I'm so proud of you. You should be proud of yourself too."

"You know I'm not very good at doing that."

"I know," you started, letting your hands begin to play with the hair around Lando's neck. Lando smirked as you began to do so. "That's why you have me. To remind you."

Lando couldn't stop the huge smile that overtook his face. "Well, good thing I have you, huh?"

You nodded. "You'll always have me."

The sweet moment was interrupted when Carlos suddenly appeared next to the two of you, hand gripping both your shoulders. One look at him let you know he was definitely drunk already.

"Hi, Carlitos. You doing okay?"

"Listen, I know we've established that I like and support this," Carlos gestured his hands between you and Lando, "but don't go getting any funny ideas in Vegas, okay?"

You and Lando shared a glance at hearing Carlos' words before laughter rang out between you. You shook your head. "Mano, what are you on about?"

"Él necesita conocer a tus padres antes de que puedas casarte." (He needs to meet your parents before you can get married).

Your eyes widened. "Married?!" Lando's eyes widened at your words. "Who said anything about getting married?"

"No one, I'm just putting it out there."

You and Lando glanced at each other again, shaking your heads. Lando placed a hand on Carlos' shoulder before saying, "Don't worry mate, we'll do it the old fashioned way. I promise."

You blushed at Lando's words that implied that he would want to marry you.

Carlos leaned over and whispered something into Lando's ear. You watched the emotions on Lando's face go from shock to fearful, then joy. He then gave you both one last look, smile on his face, before returning to the celebrations.

"What did he say to you?"

Lando smiled, shaking his head. "Something in Spanish I couldn't understand, something like tienes bendicion?" You smiled. "Then he said 'You're already like a brother to me, but one day it will be official'."

You felt your heart clench at hearing those words. Carlos really said that? "He said 'you have my blessing'."

Lando eyes widened at hearing the translation, mouth agape. "Oh, wow." Lando's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "If you would've told me Carlos said that a few years ago, I would've never believed you."

"Me too." The two of you shared a laugh. You returned your hands back around his neck. There was a glint in both of your eyes; the promise of the future shining bright. "I'm so in love with you, it's insane."

Lando pulled you closer by your hips at your words. "After all this time, I can't believe you're mine. Feels like a dream; I hope I never wake up."

Despite being in a loud club, it felt like it was just you and Lando in that moment. You smiled at each other, before more celebratory yelling could be heard from your friends and family around you. Lando took your hand in his, tilting his head forward, "C'mon, if I'm going to be a part of this family one day, let's all celebrate together."

yourusername and landonorris posted

liked by carlossainz55, maxfewtrell, yourbestfriend, oscarpiastri, iamrebeccad, mclaren, and others

yourusername and landonorris my whole entire heart

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user1 oh i'm crying!!!!

carlossainz55 ❤️

maxfewtrell before she was your girlfriend you were insufferable pining over her...and now it's the same but somehow worse

yourbestfriend wait no same for y/n like it's actually INSANEEEE yourusername 🖕😃 landonorris 🖕😃 maxfewtrell happy for you though mate for real ❤️ yourbestfriend same <3 love this for you

yoursister love seeing you so happy 🧡 (you get the orange heart from me today only)

landonorris 😂 I'm honored

user2 lany/n joint post...suddenly my skin is clear, the sun is shining, I hear birds chirping...

flonorris1 🥰🥰🥰

yourusername I can't wait to see you soon 😁 flonorris1 same!!

oscarpiastri yeah I guess you guys are pretty cute...

a/n: thank you for reading if you made it this far <3 again I loveeee this concept/universe so if you have lil blurb or smau requests lmk :) happy holidays everyone!

taglist:  @npcmia @tinyhrry @that-one-little-soybean @a-beaverhausen @mxdi0 @scorpiodiosa @dripostsstuff @maddja @thegirlamongthestars @flrboyd @saythename-sm @landossainz

@mysteryenchatress @plotpal @jule239 @avni-sarai @hangingwiththestars @nxk1309 @amberpanda99 @littlegrapejuice @castellandiangelo @fastfactory @awritingtree @ems-alexandra @lilypat

[haologram]

between you and me ❄️ l.c [m]

↳ part of the winter with you collab! synopsis: everything you've ever done, chan has been by your side - either egging you on or talking you off the ledge. after a rough year of studying, failed relationships and having chan be the insistent angel on your shoulder, the holidays roll around - and let's just say you're not too happy about it. genre: holiday au. bffs to exes to lovers (what a doozy); angst, fluff, smut. pairing: lee chan x fem!reader word count: 40.4k (DON'T LOOK AT ME!) rating: 18+. minors do not interact. warnings: swearing, references to smoking weed, alcohol, food, use of sex as a general coping mechanism, jealousy. general exes who are still friends type of dynamics. mentions of misogynistic views, mentions of having kids, mentions of seasonal depression. chan is a bit of an asshole but redeems himself (and is overall just a good person but yk...) reader has a strained relationship with her mother. reader deflects a lot, chan cannot stop running his mouth. mingyu and sooyoung make several appearances. mutual pining. smut warnings: (let's take a deep breath for this one!) multiple scenes because they're fucking freaks (3 total!) alluded virginity loss (not depicted, backstory). teasing, frottage, heavy petting, bitiing, chan cums in his pants once. oral (m&f. rec.), face sitting, ab riding, subtle body worship (m&f. rec.), fingering (f.rec), pussy slapping (i know i know). nipple play (m&f. rec.), hair pulling, spitting, cumplay (just...okay?), switch!chan x switch!reader, chan likes it when she's mean, whiny!chan (can i get a hell yeah!?). slight strength kink, breeding kink, d*ddy kink (save me), love (?) kink (?). dirty talk (HELP. ME.), pet names (baby, princess, babe, etc.,) unprotected sex (don't do this), missionary (wouldn't be a haologram fic without missionary and body worship but i digress.) i think that's it! what to listen to: meddle about - chase atlantic ; habit - seventeen ; to die for - sam smith ; wait - dino ; heart - dawn ; scared to live - the weeknd ; fantasy - bazzi ; don't leave me - intro ; kiss it better - rihanna ; all mine - plaza ; the party and the after party - the weeknd ; always - daniel caesar ; fade into you - mazzy star. author's note: i fear i cannot shut the fuck up! yet another behemoth for caratblr, loverboy!chan save me please. special thanks to my dearest @diamonddaze01 for betaing this big ass fic an encouraging me to not give it up when i was truly losing my mind. thank you to @camandemstudios for allowing me to be in yet another collab of theirs. as always, dedicated to the most devoted dinonara i know, @bitchlessdino. snowflake dividers are by @/strangergraphics here on tumblr! enjoy the wild ride and happy holidays, everyone!

DECEMBER 22, 4:32PM.

Your car horn cannot take another beating, and you're not sure Chan's ears can take another annoyed, muttered string of expletives from your mouth – confirmed the moment he yells at you to pull over. You argue back that you're in the middle of the expressway and everyone around you is going over sixty miles an hour, but he doesn't care. You mumble profanities as you merge several lanes, pulling over only for him to tell you to stay inside and he'll get out. 

"You've been driving me up the fucking wall since we left the apartment. What stick do you have up your ass that you're upset about everything!?" He practically slammed your car door as he got into the driver's seat, swatting your bare thigh as you climbed over the console to the passenger side. You scoff, batting his hand away from your legs as you plop into the seat. 

"Nothing, Channie. I'm fine." You grit, yanking the seatbelt a little too hard for him to think you're fine. He sighs, resting his forehead against the steering wheel before he turns to look at you. 

"Y/N, I've known you since we were in diapers. I know when something is bothering you, you're not weaseling your way out of this." What was wrong with you? You're sitting in your old beater car with your life-long best friend, wearing his old cheer shorts and his t-shirt and probably his socks as well. You're on your way home during an unusually warm winter, hence the shorts, and you're nursing a cup of his infamous hot cocoa. The one with actual mini marshmallows, none of that Swiss Miss bullshit.

You'd had a great cheer practice before the break ended, with your coach telling you and Chan to please rest during the holidays – it wasn't exactly either of your fortes. She knew the two of you went home for the break together, and you'd likely be practicing stunts in your parents' basement – but you knew exactly why you were upset and it had nothing to do with cheer and everything to do with the fact that your best friend has had the best years of his entire life while you're being a sulky baby.

You cross your arms, the drawstrings of your hoodie yanked by the seat belt as Chan turns in his seat. "Everyone has bad days, Y/N." "You don't." You mutter, crossing your legs at the knee before you feel Chan's fingers pinch your cheek. "Yes, I do. I don't know where you got this idea that I'm perfect. I'm flattered, but I'm just as human and clumsy as you are." "Yeah, well…shut up." You huff, feeling Chan press his lips to your temple. "Don't be so sour. We're on vacation, let's enjoy it. It's our last one before we graduate, isn't that exciting?" It's not. It makes existential dread weigh on your shoulders, and it's so stupid. It's stupid dread, rooted in misogyny and lies and comparison that is the thief of joy. It makes you hate him, knowing that Chan doesn't have to worry about any of this but you do simply because you have some stupid biological clock that works AGAINST you.

You know once university is over, your parents will start to ask about marriage and kids. You know that they'll bring up Chan, over and over until you tell them for the third year in a row that you and Chan tried it and it just didn't work. 

Freshman year of college between you and Chan has to have been one of the strangest years yet. He had rushed a frat and you helped him move from his dorm into the house – and the brothers made eyes at you until Chan lied and said you were his girlfriend. None of them bought it, so much so that Chan had confessed about it and you were so wide eyed he was scared your eyes would fall out. Once the initial shock wore off, you shrugged and agreed you'd be his pretend girlfriend – that it would definitely get you out of some bullshit.

Simultaneously, it got you into some bullshit.

It was a few weeks before winter break, and you were both drunk at your first frat party. The two of you had been locked away in his room getting high earlier that day, and neither of you were in the condition to interact with anyone else or even go downstairs for more drinks – so you just laid in his bed and giggled about nonsense. He was propped up on his elbow, telling you about how the older brothers had made him pants the president of Alpha Phi and you were just staring off into space while you nodded along.

Until you looked at Chan a little too closely, your head on his pillow as he pushed your hair out of your eyes. He smiled down at you, his fingers tracing the shell of your ear as he continued talking when you sat up and anxiously pressed your fingers to your pulse point, having felt your heart rate spike at just the slope of his nose. Everything felt way too hot and intimate for two best friends.

He'd asked if you were okay, if you needed water – assuming you were too crossfaded to prevent the panic attack that seemed to creep on. You shook your head, screwing your eyes shut as you flopped back down and tucking yourself into his chest. He'd assumed you wanted to be held, so he threw your leg over his waist and ran his fingers through your hair, murmuring subtle praises as you tried to regulate your breathing – but the smell of the weed and your best friend's cologne was just too much and you wound up pushing him away.

"Channie, get away from me!" You'd whined, shoving him back and attempting to pull your sweater over your head. You failed, and he laughed, yanking it over your head the rest of the way. "Are you hot? Should I open the window?"

"You should kiss me, you fucking idiot. How can you tell your entire fraternity I'm your girlfriend and you won't even kiss me?" You'd poked your finger into his chest, your t-shirt rumpled from the sheer force of your sweater coming off. He blinked at you, lip jutted out in a pout. "Well, how am I supposed to know you want me to kiss you when you literally just told me to get away from you?"

"I'm your fake girlfriend! I'm getting zero play from anyone else because they think we're a thing!" 

"Aren't you a virgin?" He asked, sitting up as you smoothed your shirt over your belly, lying back down on your side, propped up by your elbow. "Aren't you? You're my best friend, it's not like we'd hump and dump each other. If we're bad, we can just learn."

Chan had been truly appalled at your words. The two of you had never crossed into this territory, despite knowing everything about each other. You'd been each other's first kiss back in high school, but that was fully a dare from your other friends and neither of you spoke about it again. He dated around with other girls and you had one boyfriend that was shitty, but it was always just the two of you at the end of the day.

"You want me to…" "Only if you want to."

"Are you joking?"

You hadn't been, and you proved that by tugging Chan down by his collar and pressing your lips to his. He immediately reciprocated, pushing you onto your back and shoving your thighs apart to settle between them. He wasn't a bad kisser at all – a little too skilled for your shy touches, but you quickly caught on to his movements as you felt him grow hard. 

"We don't have to do this at all. You know that, right?"

"Chan, I want you to."

He'd blushed slightly as you flipped the two of you over, letting him sit up with you in his lap and quickly pulled your top off. His hands were warm and nervous, but you kissed him again and it felt like everything fell into place. 

The first round was slow and gentle – you were on top, and he kissed all over your chest and face as the two of you got into it. By the third time, you were covered in nips from his teeth and his saliva as he folded you in every position imaginable. He was a young guy with a Costco box of condoms and the girl of his dreams in his bed – he had to commit this to memory. The two of you went at it like starved, depraved lovers – it was nearing seven in the morning by the time he reached into his nightstand and the box of condoms was empty. You were both sober by then…and the reality of your decisions began to sink in as you let him sink into you, raw.

"Y/N…" He whimpered into your neck, entirely too sensitive for this to be happening but you only mewled in response. "Feels so good, Channie, please…"

You only spurred him on, clawing at his back and whining his name as your walls overstimulated him. Every single part of his body felt like it was on fire under your touch, and he relished in the way your teeth sunk into his shoulders and neck as he brought you over the edge repeatedly. 

"Shit, b-baby…I'm gonna.." 

You only wrapped your legs around him, pulling him into you deeper as you kissed the words off his tongue. He tried to kiss you back, he really did – but failed miserably as he came inside you, hips involuntarily working the two of you through your shared orgasm. You kissed him messily as he came down, feeling his hands on your cheeks as he slowed you down, before pulling away fully.

"We need to clean up." He muttered, resting his forehead against yours, your eyes closed as you nodded tiredly. "I don't think I can get up."

You hadn't been able to – Chan wound up carrying you into his bathroom and holding you between himself and the wall in order to help you shower. You were so tired your eyes remained closed for the majority of it all – something Chan was grateful for because he just couldn't stop roaming his eyes all over you.

Thankfully, it'd been a Saturday the day before – so there was no reason for you to leave his bedroom. He gave you the cheer shorts he usually wore, and tugged an old sweatshirt over your head while also stripping his bed of the sheets. He threw your clothes in with it in the wash – and returned to see you asleep. He had so many questions, just watching as you snuggled into his pillow as he sank onto his bed, reaching for his phone to order delivery – only for you to tug him back.

"We can eat later."

"When can we talk?"

You peeled your eyes open for that one, looking at him tiredly.

"You're my boyfriend, Chan. Couples have sex."

"But–""I love you. Now, hold me."

And he did. He laid down, and you draped yourself over his chest. His hand went under your sweatshirt, rubbing small circles into your back as the two of you fell asleep. But his mind never strayed from how confidently you said those three little words.

That was one of many nights between you and Chan. You were referring to each other as significant others, subconsciously going on dates, and fucking like there was no tomorrow. He'd get you flowers, tell you how pretty you looked. You'd fluster him with comments of how handsome he was, and you'd spend hours slow-dancing together in his bedroom if you weren't just basking in each other's presence.

Neither of you spoke about feelings, but rough whispers of I love you slipped out often during sex, softer ones when he dropped you off at your dorm (that you were hardly at because you spent all your time with him), teasing ones when he just felt like it. You found it harder to say after the first time – kissing him in response, feeling your cheeks grow hot as he looked at you with said love in his eyes. Sometimes you'd mumble it, only loud enough for him to hear.

You loved him too. You didn't know when it became romantic, you'd never been in love before. But, perhaps if you'd looked deeper – you would understand that feeling like you can hardly breathe from pure excitement when he's around is a tell-tale sign of being absolutely enamored.

Perhaps, you said I love you first – because you were scared that if you let it fester inside you, it'd become too overwhelming. 

It did, anyway.

The two of you went home that holiday break and tried everything possible not to tell your parents anything. Chan's family owned the house next door and only used it when he was home – but you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep separately after weeks of constant skinship. You tried for the first three days – only for Chan to sneak into your bedroom and stuff your panties in your mouth to keep you quiet.

Everything had been going smoothly until your parents found out – spotting a hickey on your collarbone that hadn't been there when you arrived. Your mother was the first to question you – her interrogation light over dinner with Chan and his parents.

"So…find any cute boys?" She asked as she poured you a glass of water, one you immediately reached for as you choked on your bread. Chan's eyes widened as they fell on you, spotting the bruised mark on your skin under your t-shirt from across the table. "Mom, what gives? That's so embarrassing." "I sort of asked Chan the same question." Mrs. Lee shrugged, before her hand reached to tug on her son's sweater. "Then I saw this and got my answer."

Two hickies on his chest, and Chan's cheeks burned beet red as he wiggled away from his mother. "Can we not do this?" He asked through gritted teeth, and you only covered your face with your hands as your father snorted.

"We always figured the two of you would end up together. It's just the way it goes sometimes. Friends before lovers is a good way to start a beautiful relationship." He nods, patting your back gently to ease your discomfort. You gave Chan a glare through our fingers, only for him to gawk at you as if you were blaming him for the entire thing.

"We're glad it's you, Y/N, really. I was always worried my Chan would get his heart broken by someone ruthless." Mrs. Lee pinches her son's cheek, making him groan as he moves away. "This is so embarrassing, stop it!"

"We've only been together for a few weeks, so can we drop it?" You mumbled, stabbing your fork into a meatball as your mother glanced your way. "...Sure, honey."

Your parents didn't bring it up again for the rest of your vacation, but things felt a lot more breathable after. You and Chan went out on your own several times – dinner, stargazing, a few hikes. You kissed eagerly behind closed doors, but kept your touching to a minimum in front of siblings and parents. He held your hand as the New Year's ball dropped, and kissed you moments after when his parents looked away. You felt your stomach fill with butterflies at the tender touches, but started feeling antsy as days continued and you couldn't have sex.

He offered to take you on a drive after your parents went to bed, and you wound up fucking in the backseat of his car that night to the sound of Meddle About by Chase Atlantic. It was by far the most desperate you'd ever seen him, and the night you accidentally discovered a small kink of his – one the two of you swore not to speak of again after. Or rather, he asked you not to – but what kind of girlfriend and best friend are you if you don't tease him about his little ticks? You both returned to campus a few days later, and Chan managed to get you naked in his bed before you even unpacked your things. You'd decided to forego buying condoms on the way home to avoid the temptation, but just looking at you was enough to get Chan going and he had no idea how to make you understand that.

Until the spring semester started and the two of you got slammed with essay after essay, lab after lab, pop quiz after pop quiz. It was February by the time the two of you got to spend more than an hour alone – and you had nothing to talk about. You just kissed quietly, feeling each other up for hours until your underwear was soaked through with your arousal and Chan was painfully hard.

"We should break up." You murmured against his lips, and he nodded. "We should. After this, though." "After." You agreed, not knowing that Chan's chest had tightened at your words. Not knowing that he hoped just feeling you around him would mend that pain he felt, and not knowing he hoped he could get you to stay through the night – and break up in the morning. Not the night of his birthday, not the first night he gets to have you again after missing you for ages. Not the day that seems to have completely slipped your mind.

And, it worked. Yet another large box of assorted condoms and half a bottle of unnecessary lube later, you were tucked in his bed again. In his cheer shorts, in his shirt, and with dozens of love bites littered around your body. You kissed him as he slid into bed next to you, your arm draped over his chest as you began to talk.

"I'm sorry if it's sudden. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose you, but we just…don't have time." You had muttered, and Chan fought back tears as he nodded, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. "I don't want to lose you, either. But if we break up…we have to stay friends, Y/N. We have to." He meant it. Even if it meant he had to break his own heart by spending time with you and not being able to kiss you, caress you, love you, he meant it. You were all he knew – his first kiss, his first crush, his first fake-girlfriend. His first real girlfriend, despite having dated around. His first time having sex, making love, and everything in between. The first woman he'd learned inside and out, and the only woman he wanted to know that way.

If time was the issue, he'd wait. 

But you didn't know that.

Shortly after your relationship ended, Chan found himself restless. His hand wasn't enough anymore, but neither was anything else he tried. He lost interest in porn easily and even wound up sneaking peeks at your Instagram for some sort of relief. He resorted to asking one of his frat brothers what he should do – and Wonwoo calmly looked up at him and said, "You fuck someone else."

Chan hadn't been sure what to do with that information. He wound up going to cheer practice early that day, only to find you doing stunts with Minghao, a fellow spotter and one of his frat brothers – his hands tightly gripping your waist as he threw you up in the air. He catches you swiftly, and Chan only feels his cheeks heat in embarrassment as you eagerly compliment Minghao on his skills, your hands gingerly wrapped around his biceps – your nails still the soft pink he chose not even a month before.

It was too much touching for Chan's taste, and he wound up turning right back around and skipping practice, sneaking out of the gym before either of you could see him. When Minghao arrived at the frat after practice and saw Chan in the kitchen, he asked him where he'd been – that you'd asked for him and wanted him to help Minghao with your stunts. Chan simply clicked his tongue and shrugged, "Was busy. She can figure it out." Minghao had been a bit taken aback by his comment, but said nothing as Chan practically pushed past him. There was a party a few days after that, with both you and a bunch of random girls in attendance – mostly girls from the fraternity's sister sorority. Chan had one up in his bedroom within the hour, and another two hours later.

You went home after seeing him take the first one upstairs.

After that happened, and Minghao spoke to you about Chan's behavior about the entire stunt situation, you felt a shift in your friendship. Chan became a serial monogamist for a long time – none of his flings lasted longer than two weeks, and he kept them at arms' length. He never mixed business and pleasure – the cheer girls were strictly off limits, much to their dismay. 

But you were the person he drunk texted. Saying he misses you and wants to hang out – and you'd hang out. You'd go pick him up and take him back to your dorm (later, your apartment) and watch movies, get drunk and fall asleep on your couch. He never made a move on you, and you never made a move on him because you were just friends.

So you shoved it all down. You watched him bag girl after girl, you watched him win trophy after trophy. You watched him make the Dean's list every semester, you watched him build unbreakable friendships, you watched everything he touched turn to gold and it made frustration fester inside you.

You struggled a lot after the breakup – from branching out and meeting new guys to your grades tanking just a bit – and it made you feel pathetic. You slept with one other guy, a guy from a different cheer team. You met him at a competition, and it was in the next city over, so you and your team had to get a hotel. You and Chan naturally roomed together…only for Chan to hit it off with a girl from another team, and it led to a heated argument between you and him to see who got the room for the night. He wound up storming out and staying with her, only to come back in the early morning to a locked door and the sound of you and the guy going at it.

Neither of you spoke about it. You didn't speak on the ride home, either – and you ignored him for a week until he texted you and asked if you wanted to get drinks. You agreed, and he apologized for his behavior. You only nursed your cosmopolitan, and accepted his apology with the condition that he buy you an appetizer.

An order of mozzarella sticks and a thing of marinara later, you forgave him. The two of you danced around conversations for a bit, before he offered you a lift home. You gracefully accepted, and he dropped you off at your apartment with a hug goodbye. A hug that lasted longer than any had since the breakup, and you felt…slightly put back together.

Things seemingly settled after that. 

Fast forward to senior year – you and Chan are still inseparable. You're co-captains of your cheer team, he's the vice president of his fraternity and you find yourself there every weekend to help with events if the two of you aren't at a cheer competition. He holds your hair when you throw up and he helps you glue on your false lashes for competition nights. He drives you to places when you're too tired but still want to go out, he tutors you for Organic Chemistry and gives you gummy bears as rewards for getting questions right.

Chan is your best friend, and he makes sure everyone knows – including the girls he gets in his bed every few nights.

Your eyes still lingered on him at parties – the way he'd grind against girls, the way he'd never done with you because you weren't a stranger to him. He'd seduce them with his confidence and kiss them, but never in the way he kissed you. You could see it, how shallow it was to him, before he'd begin moving them towards his bedroom.

But, even now – you miss him. Lonely nights in your bedroom turned into lonely nights in your shared apartment with him, having been convinced to move into a two-bedroom with him as a reward for making it to senior year of university without any major fuck-ups. However, you felt like a major fuck-up – because now this meant he'd bring girls to the shared home.

He hasn't, yet. But, he will. You're sure of it.

It makes your stomach turn to think about it.

"See how much calmer things are when you're not the one driving?" Chan's voice breaks you out of your thoughts, and you scowl. "Shut up." He only rolls his eyes, but you feel your thighs clench at the way he looks when he drives. You'd gotten used to this sight in many lights – Chan driving you home from an arcade night, Chan driving you home from getting drinks. Chan driving you home from the movies, Chan driving you home from cheer practice.

Chan driving you home after that night he fucked you senseless three years ago in his backseat, whispering how good you felt around him and how he couldn't imagine a life without you in it.

You sigh inwardly at the thought of it, opting to recline your seat and cover your face with your arms. You cross your legs before feeling Chan's hand squeeze your knee, making you jolt as you swat at him. "Stop touching me, I'm sensitive!"

"Your knee is sensitive?" He teases, fingers pinching it again as you groan. "You're pissing me off, Chan."

He only snickers, his fingers brushing up your thigh before you shove it away. "Quit." "Alright, alright. At least put on some music, I need to hear something other than your whining." He holds up the aux cable, and you take it and plug it into your phone. You press shuffle on your Spotify, ignoring the way your cheeks heat the moment Meddle About by Chase Atlantic starts. 

He only turns the volume up.

"You guys are home!" Mrs. Lee greets you by throwing her arms over you, and you nearly stiffen before Chan gives you a pointed look. You hug her back warmly, thanking her for being so excited to see the two of you. "How is school? Still doing well, I hope!" "Doing great, Mrs. Lee. Chan's helping me quite a bit these days." You nod in the direction of her son, who is unloading everything as you shove a stick of gum into your mouth. His arms look great in that long sleeve…he should wear it more often…

"...And your mom made that brown sugar ham you love! Isn't that exciting!?" Mrs. Lee's voice brings you back as you nod quickly, shoving your hands in your jacket pockets as the wind picks up a bit. "Yes! I'm starving, you have no idea. We survived on jerky." Your pout makes Mrs. Lee coo, her knuckles pinching your cheek as she beckons you to follow her into your house. Chan gives you a glare as he grabs your duffel, and you only blow a kiss at him as you follow his mother inside. "Y/N!" Your little sister can be heard screaming from the top of the stairs, and you smile as you turn – seeing her practically fly down them, her arm in a pink cast as she wraps it around you. "Hey, babycakes! What happened to your arm?" "Rosie took a tumble down the stairs last week, I keep telling her to slow down." Your mother appears out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel as she presses a kiss to your cheek. "Welcome home, darling."

Your sister begins to ramble about everything going on at school with her friends – that Katie has a crush on Hyunjin but Hyunjin likes Minseo and Minseo thinks Katie is too mean to join their coloring circle. All too much for you to process in one go, and definitely too much for her to get out in one breath because she stops the moment you hear Chan grunt, kicking the door open slightly to make his way inside.

"Chan!" She abandons you, and Chan lights up as she runs into him, spinning her around. "Hey, Rosie! It's been so long, oh! What happened to your arm?" 

He kneels down to her height, and it makes your heart warm. Your parents definitely did not plan to have another child so late in life, but Rosie was the easiest kid ever. You remember when they brought her home – you were a junior in high school and you were ecstatic. You'd been staying with the Lees, and they all came over to meet her.

Chan was the only one who pulled you aside and asked how you were doing. You admitted you were a bit overwhelmed, and he wound up offering to stay the night and just talk. His parents allowed it and the two of you ordered takeout and spent the entire night just talking.

Rosie kept your parents young and on their toes – enough that they made friends with other couples in their neighborhood. Rosie was popular, she had lots of friends at school and around the neighborhood – loads of people came to her birthday parties and your home was the designated playdate house. 

You zone back in to see Rosie offering Chan a marker, and you gasp. "No way you're letting him sign before me! I'm your sister!" "But Channie's my best friend." She retorts as you walk over, squatting next to Chan, who sticks his tongue out at you. "That's what you get for not helping me unload the car." "Oh, but you're so big and strong! You're supposed to do it!" You argue back childishly, only for your little sister to stomp her foot. "Sign it! I have things to do!" Chan bites back his laughter as he signs it, before handing the marker over to you. "Do tell, Rosie. What things do you have to do?" "Well, I have a tea party in ten minutes and I do not like to be late. The tea will get cold." She sniffs, and Chan pats her shoulder. "Have fun, pipsqueak." She runs off, obviously over the excitement of her sister and her 'best friend's' arrival. Chan gives you a glance, "Feeling better after having to do nothing?" You shrug, smiling at him. "I appreciate you, you know that." "You have a funny way of showing it." He says pointedly, before tilting his head towards his duffel. "Mom said I have to stay with you this time, my cousins are in town for a few days and they're in my room. Is that cool?" "Promise you'll wear socks to bed?" You hold your pinky out and he sighs, shaking his head as he links your pinky with his. "Fine, but that means you have to wear pants." You smirk, winking at him. "It's my bed, Chan." You stand up straight, shaking your legs out before walking away from him. He shakes his head again, tonguing his cheek as he follows suit. You wander into the kitchen, and your mother greets Chan with a hug. They start catching up about little things as you open the fridge, grabbing a wine cooler for yourself and a beer for Chan, shoving it into his chest and leaving. You hear your mother jokingly ask if Chan wanted the air mattress, and he only laughs before denying it, saying he should help you unpack and get comfortable. She agrees.

"Need help?" He moves to leave the beer on the table, your wine cooler tucked under your arm as you hoist your duffel over your shoulder. 

"Nope." You smile, making your way to your bedroom. Yours is the only one downstairs, and it's in the furthest corner in the house as well. You practically begged your parents for it, insisting it was the warmest room in the house when the winters came about – and once Rosie came along, they let you move downstairs, saying the baby needed to be near them. You'd eagerly agreed and moved out happily.

Chan followed behind you quietly, his own bag over his shoulder as he took a sip of the beer you gave him. He wouldn't finish it, and the two of you would likely swap drinks before either of you had too much of it. As he reached your room, he saw you backflip onto your bed, a groan from your lips as you sank into the memory foam mattress.

"Fuck, this is gonna do wonders for my back." You moaned, eyes closed as you kicked your shoes off. He snorted, putting his beer next to your wine cooler on your dresser before doing the same. "Jesus, when did they get this for you? Your mattress has always sucked." You know he's not referring to the time three years ago that he snuck in, but your cheeks heat anyway as you look at him. His eyes widen, and he clears his throat. "I didn't mean–" "They got it for me last summer." You interrupt, and he nods quickly. "Sorry." "For?" You try to act nonchalant, but you clear your throat one too many times for him to think it's fine. So…he makes it worse. "We never talk about those days, you know. It's not like…it's weird. Right?" Not weird at all. I don't miss the way you felt inside me, nope. Not at all.

"Do you���want to?" You don't mean to sound so bitter, but Chan clicks his tongue. "I mean…it wasn't the worst thing ever. I…liked you a lot." You grimace at the awkwardness, but try and shrug. "I mean…I hope so. We did say we loved each other. A lot, might I add." "I said it a lot, you deflected." He corrects you, and you turn your head to look at him. "Are you doubting that I loved you?" "You wanted to break up on my birthday, Y/N, not even a week before Valentine's Day. Forgive me for assuming." He rolls his eyes, and you sit up. "No, I didn't. Your birthday is on the 11th." "Yeah. You came over on the 11th after we didn't see each other for weeks. We were kissing and you said that we should break up." He props himself up on his elbow, and your brow furrows as you think. 

The two of you managed to sneak a glance or two in during cheer practices, but the days before blurred together because you pulled several all-nighters studying for your anatomy midterm. You remember checking the time before you left your dorm to go spend the night with him, it'd been five-thirty.

On February 11th.

"Shit, I'm sorry." You breathe, and he shakes his head. "What good is it now?" He shrugs, picking at a loose thread in your comforter.

"Chan, I'm sorry." Your hand finds his shoulder, and he gives you a soft smile. "It's fine. You finished the day with me anyway, that was all I'd wanted that year."

I'm sorry for breaking up with you, I wish I hadn't done that.

"I did love you. I still do, you're literally my best friend." You say gently, and Chan's eyes meet yours. They hold something you can't quite grasp, "It's different. Of course I love you, you're my best friend." You feel like your stomach is about to fall out of your ass when Chan shrugs again, his shoulders constricted by the tightness of his top. Your eyes follow the curve of his waist, his sweatpants tied around his hips loosely. "It's just different between you and me now, you know? It's not the same friendship it was before." He rolls onto his back, arms behind his head as he keeps talking. "Sometimes, I think it shouldn't have happened at all. I mean, let's be honest. Between you and me…things have always just been simple. We overcomplicated it by doing whatever it is that we thought would enhance our relationship." You can feel your chest aching with every word, but you can't seem to stop listening. Your eyes burn with tears as you let him keep talking. We?

"I guess it was something of a dumpster fire. Everyone always assumed we'd be something, maybe it's good we got it out of our systems." He nods, before looking at you. His eyes widened, sitting up quickly as you covered your face with your hand. "Y/N–" "You can be really, really coarse sometimes." You mumble, sliding off your bed and grabbing your wine cooler off the dresser. "I'm going to go find my dad, make yourself at home." You tighten your sweater around yourself, flinging the door open and slipping into the bathroom. You refuse to let the tears fall, taking a deep breath before drinking half of your can. You press the cool metal to your cheeks before stepping out, walking out towards the garage to see your father tuning one of his many guitars.

"Oh, you're home! I've missed you!" He puts the bass guitar down, before he frowns. "What's wrong, honey? Are you okay?" "M'fine. Hey." You shake your head, giving him a one-armed hug. He's not convinced, holding you closely. "You can talk to me, you know that." "It's stupid. What are you doing here?" You set your drink down on his workbench, only to see your father's stern look staring down at you. You sigh, running your fingers over the strings of the guitar. "Chan and I broke up." Confusion crosses his features as you take a seat on one of his cushioned bar stools. "I thought you broke up ages ago, sweetie." "We did. That's the problem." You mumble, feeling a tear slip out of your eye and you brush it away quickly, but your father sighs carefully, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You bury your face into his ribcage, feeling sobs rack your body as he hums quietly. Your father had always been the person you went to when it came to Chan, because your mom was convinced you'd be the brute of the relationship – and insisted you were too harsh with your words at times.

"What'd he say this time?" He asks softly, and you wipe at your nose with your sweater sleeve, trying to form it in a way that doesn't expose your entire relationship. "He just mentioned that he felt like our friendship was different now that we'd involved feelings in the past, and that he thinks it's better that we 'got it out of our systems.' He said that he wishes it'd never happened sometimes, who says that?" Your father nods, a frown on his lips as he sighs. "I'm sorry he said those things, honey. I assume he didn't know you still felt some type of way about him?" "I don't." You lie through gritted teeth, but your father knows you far better than that. He pats your shoulder, glancing down at you. "Now, you and I both know that's not true. You called me crying about him a few weeks ago, didn't you?"

You had. You don't exactly remember what you'd said, but you remember it being three in the morning and your mother taking the phone and telling you to get a grip. It only made you cry harder, enough that your father stayed up for the next two hours soothing you over the phone. Chan walked into your bedroom a few hours later and asked if you were okay. You kicked him out of your room out of embarrassment. "Why can't you be one of those dads that kicks the guy's ass for me?" You pout, swatting his arm as he lets out a full bellied laugh. "Because I have two wonderful daughters and a loving wife I need to provide for. If I beat up every guy that crosses you, I'd be sent away. I'd miss graduations, birthdays, anniversaries. Weddings, at some point. I'd hate to miss those beautiful moments." You roll your eyes, and your father smiles lightly. "I also happen to know how to distinguish when my daughter is doing these things to herself. Chan might be saying things you don't exactly want to hear, but that's exactly what you're not doing. You're not talking to him about anything. He can't know how you feel if you're not telling him." You huff, but you know he's right. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. There's nothing to tell him, and if he wants to act like we're better off being as distant as we are then I'm no one to beg for his presence." "That pride of yours will get you in trouble. Knock it off." He says pointedly, before sitting on the stool next to you. "Now, listen to this. I think my tune is still off."

Dinner was always a nice, intimate affair between your family and Chan's. You gather around the large mahogany table your father made years ago, and talk about everything and anything under the Sun. They ask you and Chan about school, cheer, and dating. Rosie talks about her friends and her toys, your mother talks about her restaurant and your father about his music store. The Lees tell you about their dance company, and give you updates on Chan's younger brother, who would be spending the holidays stuck at work. 

Dating spins the table once more, and your father gives you a look that says he'll change the topic if you say the word. Mrs. Lee starts by teasing her son, who flushes beet red and insists he's not looking for anything right now. 

"I still never found out why you and Y/N broke up." Mr. Lee chimes in, and you feel your cheeks grow hot as you grip your fork. Rosie looks between the two of you, her nose crinkled. "Ew! You were boyfriend and girlfriend?!" "No." You answer quickly, and your voice is far too nonchalant for Chan's taste, it seems. He gives you a confused look, and you shrug. "We just didn't work out. It wasn't good for us." "Easy for you to say." He mutters, shoving a piece of bread into his mouth. You grimace, and Mr. Lee shifts uncomfortably before you feel the words tumble from your mouth. "Yeah, well when you tell your girlfriend she doesn't love you, it's kind of hard to want to be together." Mrs. Lee's eyes are wide, spluttering over her glass of water as Chan groans, pulling his cap over his eyes. "That's not what I said, Y/N, you're twisting my words." "Am I?" You scoff, letting your fork clatter on the table as you push your chair back. "I mean, seriously, who fucking cares anymore? It's been three years." "Language, Y/N." Your mother's voice is stern, gesturing to your little sister who looks increasingly bewildered. You sigh, closing your eyes as you scoot your chair back into the table. "We just broke up. It's fine. I'm sorry for swearing, Rosie. Bad girl Y/N." You apologize to your sister, who nods slowly.

Chan mumbles an apology to Rosie as well, and the tension is thick as Mr. Lee clears his throat. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Not your fault, Mr. Lee. Sore subject." You shake your head, patting the left side of your chest, as if saying it pains you. He gives you a sorry smile, before Mrs. Lee speaks up. "Will you be fine to room together? I don't want you guys to fight this entire trip, we haven't seen you in so long." "It's fine." You and Chan say in unison, eyes meeting in a glare over the table. "I know how to keep my mouth shut, it's no problem." You add, and Chan scoffs, mumbling something like ridiculous under his breath.

"Alright, that's enough. We haven't seen you guys in four months. We're going to sit here and enjoy this dinner, damnit!" Your mother speaks loudly next to you, making you jolt. Chan apologizes as he sits up in his chair, your little sister wide eyed as your mother shoves a spoonful of mashed potatoes in her mouth. You elbow her lightly, and she coughs.

"Sorry, Rosie." Your father makes the rest of the dinner go smoothly. He mentions his store, and tells a story about a guy who came in wanting to learn a few songs for his wife who was in the hospital. Everyone listens intently, and dinner is wrapped up within the hour. You offer to pick up, your mother's tired eyes thankful as she carefully hauls your now sleeping sister up the stairs to bed.

You tongue your cheek as you bid goodnight to the Lees, offering to wrap the cake your mom made in case they want to have a sweet midnight treat. They accept it and you watch them as they make the walk down the lawn to their house. You shut and lock the door, seeing Chan lingering at the bottom of the stairs speaking to your father. They both look apologetic, but Chan's cheeks are tinged pink as he rubs his neck, a habit he developed when feeling sheepish or admitting something.

You frown to yourself, turning back to the table. You gather all the plates, stacking them as you walk around the table. You'd pack the leftovers first, but you had to move everything out of the way properly.

"I'll wash." You hear Chan say, before he takes the plates from your hold. You don't reply, simply moving to gather all the cups and silverware. You dump any remaining drinks down the sink, ignoring the way he scrapes the plates over the garbage can. You move around in silence, quickly wrapping leftovers and moving them into containers, before sliding everything into the fridge and standing next to him as he washes the cups, moving onto the silverware quickly.

"I didn't think it would bother you." He begins, and your hand tightens around the glass in your hand, before you wipe it down with the rag in your other hand. He scrubs the silverware harshly as you mutter, "You assumed." "Yeah, well, I thought we were best friends. I thought I could assume shit and be right." He huffs, and you carefully take the knives from him, swiping the rag over the blades with ease. "You are right." "What?" He looks up from the soup bowl in his hand, and you shrug. "You are right. I guess I just didn't want to admit it earlier, but things are different between us now. It's whatever." You're lying. You're absolutely lying and Chan's face tells you he knows.

"You've always been a bad liar, Y/N. Don't start trying now." He scoffs, and you don't say anything as you dry the forks and spoons, opening the drawer to put them away. He washes the rest of the bowls in silence, but sucks his teeth the moment he grabs a plate.

"Why?" He asks reluctantly, and you raise a brow at him. "Why, what?" "Why are things different?"

You hum in response, drying a bowl as you think.

"For one, you've been inside me." You start, making him cough. "Be serious." "I am serious! Did you not fuck me three ways to Sunday every time I slept over? Did I imagine that?" You snort, and you watch his cheeks flush as he tongues his left one. "Whatever. What else?" "You stopped hanging out with me as much. I would call or text and you'd leave me on delivered for hours, and then get back to me once I was already ready for bed. Or you'd drunk dial me and come over. You used to properly spend time with me, but after that whole dumpster fire, you kind of just hung out with me when you wanted to." You don't intend to sound so hurt as you say this, but Chan's hands slow under the running water. He nods, a soft look in his eyes as he glances at you. "I'm sorry." "What good is it now?" You repeat his words to him, and he looks up at you. "Don't be like that." "You also blatantly made moves on other girls in front of me. If the relationship meant nothing to you, you could've said that. It would've made moving on a lot easier." You say pointedly, before forcing out a humorless laugh. "God, your body count must be in the double digits now. Is it?" He doesn't reply, but you nudge him with your elbow. "Is it?" "Yes."

You shake your head, tonguing your cheek as you open the cabinet and slide the bowls in carefully.

"What's yours?" "Two." You respond shortly, his eyes wide as he looks up at you again. "Two?"

"Problem?" Your brow is quirked as you reach for the first plate, and he shakes his head. "No. I just…" "Assumed it would be higher? Yeah, you're doing a lot of that lately." You roll your eyes, and he scowls. "Can you stop? You had some fault there too, you have to admit that." "I don't see how I'm to blame at all for you just assuming I didn't love you. I spent every waking moment by your side if I wasn't studying or showering, and even then it was like we were glued at the hip. I hardly had my own space, you literally snuck into my room after three days because you couldn't sleep without sticking your dick in me." "Why do you keep talking like the sex was only good for me? Like you didn't enjoy yourself? Because I remember something very fucking different." He scrubs the plate in his hand with vigor, and you let out a soft, mocking laugh. "Maybe I don't remember it that way. Maybe it was only good because I loved you. The other guy was very different." Chan tenses at your words, his hands still under the running water. "Was he?" "Yeah." You nod, but the truth is, you didn't like it nearly as much. He made you cum, sure, but it was missing that…flair. That eagerness Chan always had, the passion he had, the stamina to keep up with you. It was missing the love you had for Chan, and you remember struggling not to ask this random hookup to hold your hand, or kiss you when you came, or to tell you he loved you.

All things Chan did without realizing.

"Mmh." He doesn't speak again, handing you the dishes almost angrily before muttering something about a shower and leaving the kitchen. You wipe down the counter silently, your eyes welling with tears when you hear Chan rustle about. You assume he's moving into the bathroom when you feel a hand on the back of your head, carefully tangling in your hair as you feel his lips brush the shell of your ear.

"You do a really good job of pissing me off, but I won't ever deny that you're the best I've ever fucking had. No one feels like you and no one has made me feel like you have. No one." He pushes you back lightly, storming back out of the kitchen with his shirt in his hand. You get a glimpse of his bare back, the muscles tense as he walks away. You feel your heart racing in your chest, your fingers coming to check your pulse as you take a deep breath.

Some vacation this is going to be.

DECEMBER 23, 7:22AM.

You thank God for the fact that everyone in your house is a deep sleeper, and can't hear how loud your heart is beating in your ears at this present moment.

Chan had taken the edge of the bed closest to the door, something he always did when the two of you shared a mattress. Or rather, the edge of the fucking mattress — he was practically hanging off. You curled into the corner closest to the wall, and stayed there the majority of the night. Chan left your TV on, knowing the white noise of whatever show he put on would lull you to sleep.

However, throughout the night, Chan migrated closer and closer to you – eventually opting to pull you into his chest. Your leg was draped over his hip and your face was nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his soft body wash and the baby powder deodorant he stole from you.

"Chan, get off me." You groaned, pushing the heel of your palm into his shoulder. He scrunched his nose, shoving your hand away before pulling you back in. "Just fucking hold me, will you?" He rested his chin on your head, arms wrapped around you like a boa constrictor attempting to asphyxiate its prey. "Chan, I can't breathe." You're muffled against his ample chest, and he only slightly loosens his arms. You wiggle about, attempting to get comfortable at the very least, when his hand moves to grip your hip.

"Stop." His voice is hoarse as he pushes your hips away from him, which ends with you on your back and his arm over your waist. You sigh, reaching for your phone to check the time.

Seven-thirty-four. Your mother is likely either about to get up or making breakfast right now.

"I'm gonna get up." You mumble, wiping at your eyes when Chan is muttering under his breath. You lean closer to hear him, but he stops. "Speak up, I can't hear what you're saying." "Nothing, go. Eat something." He turns his head away from you, buried into the pit of his arm and the pillow. You raise a brow, turning back on your side. "Why can't you just tell me? Have you always been this difficult?" "Y/N, I'm hard as a rock right now. You can get out or you can watch me take care of it, I frankly don't give a flying fuck." He spits, and you feel your cheeks heat as you clear your throat. You move his arm from your waist, carefully peeling the blanket back to climb off the bed. He lets you slide over him, before his hand shoots out to grab your wrist, yanking you back onto the mattress. You yelp, your back hitting the comforter as he quickly moves to hover over you, his lips crashing onto yours. Your hands fist his shirt, your eyes fluttering shut as he carefully licks into your mouth. 

You let him cup your face gently, his thumb softly caressing your cheek in tandem with the movement of his lips. He pulls away, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips quickly before your eyes open and he's looking down at you intently.

Neither of you speak, but you both know what he wants. His eyes dart all over your face, and you feel your cheeks heat as your hand shakily moves to palm him through his sweats. His jaw clenches at the friction, his hips involuntarily rolling into your hand when he shudders.

"Only if you want to." He murmurs, and you nod slowly. "I want to. Take your pants off." He pushes off you, sitting on the edge of the bed and you take the opportunity to kneel on your rug. It's nicely padded, but he scoffs as he grabs one of the pillows and makes you move onto it. He undoes the drawstring, but your impatient hands move to his hips and you pull the sweatpants down to his knees carefully. He hisses at the feeling against his cock, but says nothing as your hand wraps around it.

Your heart is racing as you stroke him a few times, his lip tucked between his teeth as he tries not to buck into your hand. "Don't tease me, please." He breathes, and you feel your lips twitch as you lean forward, spitting on the leaking head and spreading it carefully. You lick a stripe up the underside, following the thick vein with the tip of your tongue, working your hand at the base.

He groans, leaning back on his hands as you flatten your tongue against the head. You swirl it slowly, remembering how much he liked it the few times he let you go down on him. Chan, ever the giver.

"Fuck, baby, please." His hand moves to your head, gathering your hair in a makeshift ponytail as you take him into your mouth carefully, hollowing your cheeks as you let his tip hit the back of your throat. He sighs as you start to bob your head up and down, your tongue never stopping its laving as your throat constricts around his tip slightly. You push yourself to take him deeper, your nose slightly brushing his pelvis as he lets out a guttural groan.

“Can you shut up? My parents will hear you.” You pull off entirely, a frown on your spit-slick lips as he nods quickly, mumbling a breathy sorry. He sucks in a sharp breath as you sink back down on him, his hips involuntarily jerking into your mouth, making you gag slightly. "Shit, sorry–" "Just keep doing that." Your voice is slightly raspy, his eyes wide as he swipes your hair away from your face. "A-Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you–" "Do you want to finish or not? I can get up right now." You roll your eyes as you adjust yourself on the pillow, his hand still in your hair as he stands, tonguing his cheek. "Open your mouth." You do as you're told, instinctively sticking your tongue out as he holds his shaft, a soft moan from his throat before he leans slightly. The hand in your hair moves to your jaw, before a wad of spit lands on your tongue. You feel your cheeks warm, eyes fluttering shut when you feel his tip drag across your bottom lip. His fingers gather your hair again, his voice gentle as it hits your ears. "Let me know if I'm too rough." That's all he says before you feel the weight of his cock on your tongue, hearing him let out a quiet hiss as his tip hits the back of your throat. He's slow with his movements, methodical thrusts into your mouth as your hands rest on his toned thighs, digging your nails into the sides. "Eyes open, baby. Wanna see you." His voice is hoarse as it hits your ears, your eyes slightly watery as you peer up at him through thick lashes. His lips are bitten raw as he looks into your eyes – it proves to be too much for him as you whimper around his cock in your throat. "Fuck, you look so pretty like this." You ignore the way your stomach flutters as he rolls his hips messily, thumb coming to wipe the corners of your mouth from the bubbles of spit. Your hands move up his thighs, shoving his shirt out of the way to watch the way his chiseled torso flexes as he fucks into your mouth. He whines at your touch, his grip on your hair tightening as you notice a faint tattoo on his hip. You file it to the back of your mind as you feel his cock twitch in your mouth, his release spilling onto your tongue with a whimper.

You move back slightly, his fingers carding through your hair as he softly massages your scalp. "You okay?" His breath hitches in his throat as he feels your tongue on his tip. He pushes you away slightly, before his hands wrap around your wrists, pulling you off your knees. "You're fucking insatiable, you know that?" You shrug, "If you say so." He stares into your eyes for a moment, his own glazed over with a mix of lust and something you can't decipher. He leans forward a bit, brushing his lips to yours. You let out a shaky breath as he nips at them, watching your lower lip bruise slightly. "Pretty. I've always loved your lips." You roll your eyes, going to move away when he presses his lips to yours chastely. Once, twice, three times before his lips travel to your cheeks. He peppers kisses all over your face, making your nose scrunch as he pecks the tip of it.

"I'm sorry about everything yesterday." He murmurs, his hands moving to hold your cheeks. Your hands rest on either side of his hips, and you sigh. "It's whatever. Pull your pants up, what if someone comes in here?" "It's not whatever, Y/N. I hurt your feelings, and it was shitty of me to say those things. Especially when I didn't mean any of it, I was just…" "Angry?" You suggest, and he sighs as he moves to tug his sweatpants over his thighs. He ties the drawstring as he sits back down, your knees now settled on the pillow beneath you once more. "I don't know if I was angry. It's stupid, really. I shouldn't have spoken about it that way, is all. And I'm sorry." "You made me feel like I was just the first notch on your bedpost. You could've told me that was all I was to you, but it wasn't necessary. Not with the way you just started sleeping with other girls so soon after our break-up." The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them, and he gapes at you as you shift uncomfortably, opting to stand up. You pick the pillow up, fluffing it before tossing it onto the bed and drifting to your mirror. Your lips were a swollen mess, and you wiped at them with your hand before hearing a soft knock at the door.

You glance at Chan, who has a stoic look on his face before he stands up and answers the door. It's Rosie.

"Hey, babycakes." You call over Chan's shoulder, and he moves to the side as she waves. "Mommy told me to tell you it's time for breakfast!" "We'll be right there, pipsqueak. Ten minutes, tops." Chan smiles, and she nods excitedly, before bolting back down the hallway, screaming your estimated time of arrival. You smile to yourself as you yank open your dresser drawer, fishing out a t-shirt.

Chan's hands are on your waist as you root around, and you peer over your shoulder to see a soft glaze of tears over his eyes. Your brows raise in concern, and you twist to face him, your hands cradling his cheeks. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" "Do you ever consider how you made me feel? Or how you make me feel when you say things like that?" His voice is thick, and you feel your eyes begin to sting as your lips part. You shake your head slowly, his arms wrapping around you tightly.

"Did you think about what I said last night?" He asks softly, and you avoid his eyes as you sigh, nodding your head. "You know that's not just about sex, right? That's about everything, ever. You're the only person who has ever made me feel that way." "What way? Like you need to fill a void? I get it, I'm shitty for breaking up with you on your birthday." You mutter, and he tilts your chin up to look at him. His eyes are still glossed over but hold a stern look.

"In a way that I feel like I can't fucking breathe without you. Nothing means anything to me since we broke up, but just a crumb of your attention makes me feel fucking insane. I don't think you understand how much you and your moods and the way you talk affects me. Everything about you drives me up the wall with want and need and I need you to understand that."

Your voice is lost on you, your throat constricting as he tucks your hair behind your air, thumbing at the small hoops he's never seen you without. "I look for you in every girl I've been with since. Every single one, and none of them compare. None of them are as stubborn as you are, none of them give me shit when I do something stupid. If you want to talk about sex, fine. I've never finished, not once. None of them feel the way you do, none of them kiss the way you do. Not a single one of them can I close my eyes and have their body burned in my mind, not the way I have yours. Not a single one has filled the spot you left, and I'd rather die an honest death and tell you that no one ever will if it's not you." Your lip is quivering as you look away from him, and he rests his forehead on your shoulder as your arms drop to your sides. "Please, please tell me you feel the same." You can't. You want to, you feel the ache to fill his cup until it overflows deep, deep in your stomach. But you're scared this is just for the moment, the fact that the two of you are away from any available hook-ups within a ten-mile radius. You're afraid that this is something temporary, just like the first time – but this time, with the intent of ending.

You hadn't wanted to call it quits then. You hadn't but it was the right thing to do – no matter who chastises you for it. You'd known, in your heart, that Chan was the person you are destined to love forever – whether you knew it then, drunk and high that first night in his bedroom, or in the backseat of his car, or even that time under the bleachers at a national cheer competition…it doesn't matter. Whether you knew it'd be in this pathetic way, doesn't matter. You know now.

He's looking for a good time, you tell yourself. And you may be a good time, a great time, even – but you won't do that to yourself. "It took me two years to move on." You don't recognize your own voice, thick with tears and a bitter taste in your mouth. "Two years, and you fucked Chaeyoung in your bed because you saw Minghao and I doing stunts together and got jealous for no reason. You fucked Chaeyoung and Seonmi, within an hour of each other. You didn't even wait a month."

He doesn't speak, nodding his head in silence against your shoulder as he pulls you impossibly closer. His chest is flush to yours, and you can feel his tears soak into your collar. 

"All because you didn't want your fraternity brothers to flirt with me. All of this, years of pining after you, yearning for your touch, missing you in my fucking bed, because you're a jealous asshole who can't stand the idea of not being the only guy in my life. All of this, Chan, because you wanted to say that I didn't love you when I don't think I've ever been able to think of a future with a man that isn't you."

His hands grip your sides tightly, your own pushing against his shoulders as you let a choked sob fall from your lips. His eyes are just as red as yours, his cheeks just as tear-stained as yours. Heart, just as broken and empty of you as yours is of him.

"It's not fair to me. Not when I'm still hurt, not when I can still taste you in the back of my throat. Not when you ignored me for girls and drinks, not when I called my dad in the middle of the night because you weren't home and I'm worried that you're not answering my calls. Not when my mom thinks I'm the brute here, when it's you." He nods, eyes closed as he squeezes you in his arms. He rests his forehead on yours, "They're waiting for us. Wash up quickly." Your stomach sinks, but you feel your heart pick up a bit as he places a soft kiss on the corner of your lips. "I love you." You don't say it back.

Breakfast had been awkward, to say the least. You went to the kitchen after an hour, the two of you lying through your teeth to your parents about your red-rimmed eyes. Your father gave you a hard look, and you were set to clean the table after breakfast when Mrs. Lee offered to take you Christmas shopping.

"We can make a day of it, I miss my girl." She smiled sadly, and you'd only felt your cheeks warm as Rosie insisted she come along. Mrs. Lee agreed, and even roped Chan into coming, as well – his hesitance making your eyes gloss over with unshed tears.

He'd sat on your bed as you got ready, watching you tug on a nice sweater and a form fitting pair of winter pants. It'd begun snowing lightly during breakfast, and your father had suggested you layer up – though he was sure the snow wouldn't stick. You and Chan hardly spoke as he watched you get dressed, his eyes trailing your naked body shamelessly. He helped you put on your winter coat, and carefully helped you put on your watch – a gift from his mother one year. He picked your rings, mumbling about which ones fit the aesthetic of your sweater the best. The casual intimacy of it all was eating away at you, only for Chan to run his hand through your hair and kiss your cheek.

A silent vow that he'd earn you back, you both understood.

Mrs. Lee was a chatterbox – she made Chan sit in the back with Rosie, playing with the Barbies she insisted on bringing as she updated you on everything going on at the dance company. You and Chan had been enrolled as kids, Chan becoming a far better dancer than you were – but the two of you excelled the same amount when it came to gymnastics. Chan begrudgingly abandoned dance to cheer with you in high school, but he quickly became enamored with the sport.

Rosie stomped her feet as you asked her to leave the Barbies in the car, only agreeing when Chan said it'd be a shame if she lost them. You rolled your eyes as she asked him to pick her up, but he did so anyway, her pink cast scratchy against his neck. "Rosie, you know Channie's my best friend, right?" You teased her, earning a huff from the pouty six-year-old. She stuck her tongue out at you, earning a surprised laugh from Chan as he saw her in the reflection of a car window. The wind was biting, and you found yourself hovering behind Chan. As the four of you entered the mall, Rosie asked to be put down – only for Mrs. Lee to pull her close, holding her small hand within her ringed fingers as they wandered into a toy store.

"Cold?" He asked, snaking his arm around your waist. You shrugged, but your teeth chattered as you tried to speak. The two of you laughed in unison, Chan carefully swiping your hair out of your eyes as the two of you walked forward. You try not to let your face react as he interlaces your fingers.

"Did you get your mom's gift yet? I know your dad's is in the car, and Rosie's are all in my duffel." "Shit, I knew I was forgetting one. I got your parents tickets to a cruise, I need to print those, too." You tap your temple, and Chan gasps. "I'm their son, you can't get them a better gift than me!" "What did you get them? A picture of you in a frame from the thrift like you did in grade nine?" You roll your eyes, and he huffs, squeezing your hand. "No, I got my mom a few pieces of jewelry and my dad just wants a lawnmower." He rolls his eyes, and you snicker. "What'd you get me?" "My presence is your present." "Pretty shitty present, Chan." "Hey!" The two of you continue to bicker as you make your way to a few different stores – you swipe your card far too many times for you to count. Chan carries all your bags as you skip ahead of him, holding a cup of hot chocolate for your little sister as you find Mrs. Lee filed away with her in the back of a jewelry store. "What've we got here?" You squat down to Rosie's level, and she pulls her short hair back to show you her ears. "Mrs. Lee got me earrings like yours!" A pair of thin gold hoops sit in your sister's ears, and you glance up at Mrs. Lee with a pout on your lips. "You didn't have to do that, Mrs. Lee. I would've bought them for her." "Nonsense, it's the holiday season. I have her studs in my purse, don't let me forget to give them to your mother when we get back." She gives you a stern look, before glancing behind you, a smile on her lips. "Y/N's got you busy, huh?" Chan feigns annoyance as he huffs, "You could say that. What's going on here?" You turn to tell him when you see Rosie peeking into one of the bags before you cover her eyes. "No peeking! You'll see it on Christmas, babycakes." "Just one! Please, please, please!" She holds your hand in her sticky one, likely from any snack Mrs. Lee would've bought her at one of the stands. You grimace, before sighing. "Okay, one. When we get home, okay?"

"But I'm sleepy." She pouts, and you ruffle her hair. "Then you take a little nap in the car. You can use my coat as a blanket, okay?"

The six-year-old reluctantly agrees, before reaching for the cup in your hand. Chan and Mrs. Lee prowl the store together, their eyes lingering amongst all the glittering jewelry and whispers between them as you get offered a chair by a saleswoman. You tug Rosie onto your lap and ask her about what she did – she sleepily tells you Mrs. Lee took her on the carousel ride at the children's court, then bought her a piece of honey cake at a pastry shop. She yawns as she talks about a few pairs of shoes Mrs. Lee bought her – high top Twinkle Toes and a pair of winter boots to wear as the weather changes. She doesn't manage to finish the hot chocolate as she rests her head on your shoulder, and you finish it off before managing to throw the cup into a trash bin a few feet away.

Chan and Mrs. Lee are speaking to a saleswoman at the register, her eyes a little too heart-shaped as Chan fends his mother off to swipe his card. You hold Rosie close, your eyes watching the exchange as Mrs. Lee huffs, a triumphant smile on Chan's lips as they approach you again.

"Any more places you wanna hit before we go? My fingers are about to fall off." He shows the lines from the bags across his fingers, and you shrug. "You offered, now deal with it." He scoffs, but doesn't get a chance to retort as Mrs. Lee interrupts him.

"We should get going, actually. They did say it was going to storm pretty bad tonight." Mrs. Lee winces as the saleswoman walks up to Chan with a receipt, your eyes narrowing as he quickly tucks it in his pocket. Mrs. Lee speaks up again, "Kind of an odd thing to say, though, because it's been unusually warm." "First snow always sneaks up on us on years like this." You sigh, shaking your head as the four of you walk out of the store. You pick Rosie up, holding her on your hip as Chan shifts all the bags to one hand to push your hair out of your eyes.

"You guys are so cute!" An older woman compliments you both, just as Mrs. Lee appears next to you, her eyes slightly wide as Chan tucks your hair behind your ear. His cheeks tinge pink as his mother gapes lightly, but she says nothing as you walk towards the exit. You pull Rosie's hood over her head as you reach the doors, and tug her scarf up to her eyes before bracing the cold air. "Fuck, it's cold." You hear Chan mutter as Mrs. Lee shudders, her gloved fingers fumbling with the key fob as the car comes into view. You shiver as she pops the trunk, watching Chan carefully put everything in it as Mrs. Lee slides into the driver's seat, turning the heat on blast as she turns the engine on. You carefully slide Rosie into her carseat, trying not to wake her as you click her seatbelt in place. You slide your coat off, shivering immediately in the biting wind as you cover her lap with it before shutting the door quickly. 

Chan's eyes are wide as he sees you crossing your arms over your chest, your scarf the only layer protecting your neck as he nearly rips his coat off and wraps it around you. "Are you insane? Do you want to get sick?" He doesn't let you reply as he ushers you to the passenger side, nearly shoving you into the seat and all but slamming the door. He closes the trunk before getting into the backseat, his nose red from the cold. You glance at him through the rearview, watching him blow into his hands as he meets your eyes. He looks at you pointedly as Mrs. Lee pulls out of the parking spot.

You look away.

"So." Because your mother is at her restaurant editing the holiday menus and Chan has taken the rest of the day to spend time with his cousins, you've asked Mrs. Lee to help you pick out your Christmas Eve dinner dress. She is sitting at your desk as you model options for her, the current cranberry red dress a bit too short for her taste. You frown as you change in the closet, "So, what? What's up?" "When are you and Channie going to figure this out? I mean, it's been years." She sighs, and you hear her rustle through one of the shopping bags. You step out to see her holding the dress you bought for New Years' dinner, the black glitter mocking you as you sigh. "I don't know what you mean, Mrs. Lee." You smooth your hands over a forest green sweater dress with gold accents, before turning to her. "This one?" "You know what I mean, honey. There is still something between the two of you, don't think I didn't see the way he practically tore his coat off earlier." She shakes her head at you, and you scoff. "That doesn't mean anything, he's just a gentleman." "Yeah? Then what was last night's outburst about?"

You freeze, your hands fisting the dress as you go to pull it over your head. She peers at you through the full-body mirror, her eyes so reminiscent of Chan's. You purse your lips, looking away and at your socked feet as you slowly make your way over to her. You perch on the edge of your bed, "I don't want you to think less of me." Her hands hold your cheeks gently as you feel a tear roll down your face, her eyes wide and worried as she shakes her head. "Honey, I could never. You're such a smart and wonderful young woman, and you've always treated my Chan so well. You've been his biggest hypewoman, I could never think anything but the best of you." "I was the one who broke up with him, on his birthday." You say shakily, "I didn't remember it was his birthday, but that's on me. I just…I thought I was doing the right thing. I broke things off because I wanted us to focus on school. We were so busy after we went back from break that we didn't see each other unless we were at practice, and it was eating away at me." You wipe your eyes, Mrs. Lee's hands now folded in her lap as she listens. "No one can be upset with you for doing what you felt was best, honey." "Chan was." You scoff out a laugh, rolling your eyes as you sniffle. "He still is, I guess. We got home and we sat down in here for a bit, and we talked. He said that maybe it was better this way, that things had always been 'easy' between him and I, that involving feelings wasn't the best move. That our relationship was a dumpster fire, and that he's glad we got it out of our systems because he wishes it never happened sometimes. That he…felt like I didn't love him." You trail off, feeling a surge of tears roll down your face as you wipe at your nose with your sweater sleeve. You glance at her, her own eyes glistening with unshed tears as she tilts her head. "And he moved on. I didn't. So…I don't know if it's fixable. I'm sorry to disappoint you, if you thought Chan and I would be something of a forever as anything more than just friends." You give her a sad smile, and she quietly sighs.

"He called me a few days after his birthday that year, you know." She nods, looking at her nails before she flicks her hair out of her face. Your eyes widen as you sit up slightly, "He did?" "He was a mess." She laughed softly, running her hands down her jeans. "He cried and cried, I remember asking him if he wanted me to go up to the campus. I was so worried about him, until he told me that you two weren't seeing each other anymore. Just a boy needing his mother because the girl of his dreams broke his heart." Her voice is slightly teasing, but your heart sinks. "What?" "Oh yeah, honey. Channie's not very good at hiding his feelings, we knew he liked you since you were kids. We figured it would take him a bit to realize it, but once you two came home for the holidays that year, it was like he was a different person. He walked in with so much confidence, not that he needed anymore." She snorts, and you laugh softly. "He just seemed happier, a lot brighter. Like he does when he dances." You feel your chest ache as you look away, her hands finding yours. "I know that in there, somewhere…there is a love waiting to be let loose again. I know maybe then, it was the right thing to do. I know you wouldn't have done it if you didn't think you had to, I've known your heart since you were a little girl. I know it's kind and strong and you're a good person, Y/N. Don't think about it too much, I know you've both felt that pain but trust me when I say, there is no life without pain. All I can tell you is to live without regrets." She squeezes your hands, and you sigh shakily, your eyes still letting tears flow. "What if we break up again?" "Then you can always say you tried." She shrugs, "You're Y/N, he's Chan. If I know anything, it's that you're both hard headed and you never give up on anything. Why make your relationship the first thing?" She gives you a warm smile as you nod, and she glances at the sweater you have on. "Maybe not this one, either." She wrinkles her nose, and you scoff in mock offense. "I've tried everything on in my closet! Why don't you pick something for me, then?" She grins as she gets up, skipping to your closet and rustling about. You check your phone, seeing a few missed messages from Chan.

Msg From: Chan 💗 [5:33PM] dude these guys SUCK [5:34PM] come hang out with me :( [5:34PM] i'm sick of this shit, soonyoung keeps making spitballs?? are we fucking thirteen??

You snort, watching as Mrs. Lee drapes a few options over her arm. Msg To: Chan 💗 [5:55PM] can't, hanging out with ur mom [5:56PM] do you want to take a drive later? i think the temp went back up a bit and it's not as windy

Msg From: Chan 💗 [5:57PM] oh so you hate me??? you get her tickets to a cruise AND you're hanging out with her? do you just wanna paint me as a bad son??? [5:57PM] i'd say yes but i don't think i'll be back until right before dinner :( but tomorrow after dinner at your mom's restaurant? maybe we can catch a late movie or something.

You don't get a chance to reply as Mrs. Lee whispers a small aha! She rustles around a bit more before coming out with only one dress, one you hadn't worn since you bought it because you never had an occasion. It was a long, champagne colored dress with a sarong skirt and long sleeves. The skirt was carefully ruched at the hip, before flaring out in an open slit. It had a sweetheart neckline littered with rhinestones, and you winced as you ran your fingers down the fabric.

"It's not too showy for dinner? We're just going to the restaurant." You sigh, thumbing the stitching. Mrs. Lee scoffed, "Your mother has worn far more extravagant things than this, do you remember when she wore a ball gown to New Year's last year?" You snort, thinking back to the way you hide your face as you walked into the Lee home last year. Chan made a comment under his breath about how insane the baby blue dress was, but everyone was more or less a fan. 

You also remember the way his hand slid a little too low on your back that year as rang in the new year with a hug.

Looking up at Mrs. Lee, she gives you a mischievous smile. "Go on, try it on! And we can do some hair and makeup stuff before we have to have dinner!"

Needless to say, your mother did a double take when she arrived home and saw that you were fully dolled up at the hands of Mrs. Lee. Her jaw dropped as she took in the wine red lipstick you stole from her bedroom and glittery eyeshadow, before a huge smile overtook her face and she rushed into your room to talk. It holed you away in the bedroom for another hour and a half before you graciously kicked both women out for just thirty minutes alone before dinner.

You stood in front of your vanity, dress hung back up your closet and a sigh filled the room as you reached for a makeup wipe. You peered at yourself, Mrs. Lee's words filled your mind as you ran your hands through your hair. Pursing your lips, you tie your hair back before hearing a knock at the door, and Chan opens it slightly.

"Hey. I'm home." He's not looking at you as he tugs his coat off, a sigh from his lips as you quirked an eyebrow at him. "You don't sound very happy." "I'm just tired, I don't remember what it was like to shoot the shit with those guys." He scoffs, throwing his jacket over the back of your desk chair before sitting in it. His eyes widen as he finally looks at you, "You look pretty." "Thanks. Mothers." You shrug, before reaching for the makeup wipe you abandoned in order to tie your hair back. "Wait, wait, let me see." He reaches for your hand, pulling you towards him. You roll your eyes as you sit on the edge of the bed, your other hand on your knee as he looks at your face.

"Why haven't you ever worn this lipstick before? It looks really nice." His thumb pulls at your lower lip, before you swat his hand away. "Stop that, someone could walk in." "Then lock the door? I'm just looking at you." He rolls his eyes as he stretches, "Did you figure out what you're wearing tomorrow?" "Barely. I'm still overthinking it, but the Moms said to go for it so…we're going for it." You shrug, and he raises a brow. "Do you want to show me? Maybe a third opinion could help settle it." "Nope." You grin, before standing up to move back in front of the vanity. His hold on your hand pulls you back, his other hand snaking around your waist as he pulls you into his lap. You huff as he kisses your shoulder, "Chan. Seriously."

"I missed you." He pouts, leaning his cheek on your shoulder as you roll your eyes. "Yeah, well…" You trail off, your cheeks heating as he smiles up at you. He's about to say something when you hear a knock at the door, making you jump in his hold. You rip yourself away from him, nearly stumbling as you rip the door open. It's Rosie.

"Ooh, you look pretty! Can I try?" She hops into your room, puckering her lips as she looks into your vanity. You snort, "Hello to you, too. Do you come with a message or just demands?" "Dinner in ten minutes. Can I try now?" She jumps in front of the mirror, and you roll your eyes as you motion for Chan to hand you your makeup bag off the edge of the desk. He does, and you root around in it for the lipstick, pulling out a lip brush as well. You squat in front of her, "This is Mom's lipstick, okay? We can only use a little bit." She nods, letting you carefully trace the brush around her lips. You turn her around in the mirror when you're done, lifting her up slightly. "You like?" "I like!" She smacks her lips loudly, and you smile inwardly as you set her down. "Can I wear this tomorrow, too?" "If you ask Mom and she says yes, we can talk about it." You shrug, and she nods quickly, before grinning at herself in the mirror one last time. "Okay, bye! Thank you!" "Bye, babycakes." You laugh, closing the door as she runs out. You give Chan a glance, rolling your eyes as you reach for the makeup wipe. "Gotta love that kid." "Don't take it off." He pouts, standing up to slide next to you in the mirror. You scoff, "Why? You're just gonna stare at me over dinner and everyone's gonna think something that isn't." He huffs, resting his chin on your shoulder as you carefully wipe at your eyes. You peel one open, seeing him pouting in the mirror. You struggle not to roll your eyes as you turn your face to look at him, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. "Stop pouting, it's not a good look on you." His eyes are wide as you continue to wipe the makeup off, his hand coming to ghost over your jaw as he makes you face him. "I missed you." He repeats, before nuzzling his nose against yours. Your breath hitches in your throat as his lips brush yours, before he whispers against them.

"I love you."

And just like this morning, you let him. You let him slot your lips together in a tentative kiss, your heart beating wildly in your chest as he turns you around, pressing your back into the vanity. His hands move to hold your hips gently, his fingertips barely breaching the hem of your shirt as he pulls away. He doesn't move back much, brushing his lips against yours as he squeezes his fingers against you softly.

"Will you at least let me try to win you back?" You feel your skin grow hot as you look away, and your heart flutters in your chest as he cradles your face softly in his warm hands. He presses a kiss to your forehead, "Please?" You want to tell him there is nothing to win back, you'd always be there. If time was the issue, you'd wait – no problem. But there is that part of you that's hurt that wants him to fight for you. The part of you that wants him to beg for you back, the part of you that wants him to hold you tight and cry with you about how stupid he's been when you've been equally as stupid. Maybe in a different way, but you're both idiots in your mind.

You look into his eyes through thick lashes, the heat of his gaze making you want to melt into the ground. Chan, despite the history between you two and his bad habits, had always been both the angel and the devil on your shoulders. He could lead you down any path and you'd blindly follow, but you knew you were the same for him. The truth of it all was that your trust in Chan has never wavered, even when the pain of his actions settled into your bones.

"Okay." "Promise?" His eyes are wide as he holds his pinky out, and you sigh, closing your eyes as you nod and link your fingers. "Promise." You both kiss your thumbs and touch them to each other, before you wipe the stamped lipstick off his cheek. "Don't tell your parents anything or I'll get Soonyoung and Mingyu to put snow down your pants tomorrow." He rolls his eyes, "You still haven't let me introduce you to them, so good luck. I wasn't going to tell them in the first place, anyway, because they'd make me go to my room after Dumb and Dumber go back into town tomorrow afternoon. I still can't believe they didn't ask for the holidays off."

You roll your eyes, moving the makeup wipe to your lips as he traces circles into the skin of your hip under your shirt. "Double pay, probably. My mom is shelling out double pay at the restaurant these next few weeks." He hums in response, "Did my mom say anything I should know about?" You snort, "Wouldn't you like to know." "I would, thank you. Tell me." "I have to wash my face, Chan." You give him a pointed look as you push past him, moving to your bathroom as he sighs, trailing after you. "Okay, you can wash your face and speak." "Chan, get out of my bathroom. They're probably waiting for you at the dinner table." "If they're waiting for me, they're waiting for you." He reminds you, leaning against the doorframe. You huff, reaching for your face wash as you turn the faucet on. "Go. I'll be out in a minute." He sighs, before pushing off the doorframe and leaving without a word. You feel your chest heavy with worry as you lather your face wash into your skin, but you force yourself to push all your rushing thoughts to the back of your mind. If Chan is making the moves to make things right, you have to at least give him his flowers for that. He wouldn't pull a fast one on you, he's not that kind of guy.

Right?

DECEMBER 24, 6:05AM.

Dinner between the two families had been rather entertaining. Your mother was enamored with the earrings Mrs. Lee got for Rosie, and the parents discussed carpooling groups for the Christmas Eve dinner at your mother's restaurant. You and Chan would be the only ones not lumped into your father's SUV, and you couldn't help the way you glanced at Chan with a wince. He had a slight grimace on his face as he agreed quietly, the two of you holding up the façade of your fight so as to not make anything obvious. He snuck a few kisses to your lips as the two of you did the dishes, before the two of you turned in for the night. You showered and brushed your teeth, only to have to wait for Chan because you kicked him out of the bathroom before he could offer to save water by showering together. He'd pouted, but it didn't matter. There was a line you couldn't cross…and that's it, right?

Either way – Chan had pulled your back into his chest at some point throughout the night, not that you were complaining. Yesterday morning's shenanigans seemed to have continued – but this time, his hand was up your shirt as he grinded himself against your clothed cunt, nipping his teeth against the skin of your neck. You were about to turn over to kiss him when you heard the heavy knock of your father's hand on the door. You nearly shoved Chan off the bed with how quickly you sat up and jumped over him, answering the door with a flushed look.

"Dad, don't do that! I nearly shit myself." You hold your hand to your chest, and your father holds out two cups of coffee. "You have a shower, you'd survive." "Don't be gross." You grimace, carefully taking the cups and setting them down on the dresser. Chan sits up, eyes squinted as he stretches his arms over his head. "Good morning, Chan." "Good morning, sir." He mumbles, before running his hands over his face. Your father gives you a quizzical glance, seeing your eyes a bit low as he snorts. "You guys might want to wake up, the snow outside is insane and Rosie will want you guys to help her build a snowman." "You can't help her? It's barely six." You rub at your eyes with the heels of your palms as your father smooths your hair down. "I'll give you an hour." "Two hours." Chan groans from the bed, flopping back down and tugging the duvet over his shoulder. You snort, taking a quick sip from the steaming white mug. You crinkle your nose at the bitter taste, only to hear your father laugh softly. "Hour and a half. Deal?" "Deal." You nod tiredly, and he nods as he moves to shut your door. "Set an alarm, or I'm coming in here with pots and pans."

You only nod again, holding the coffee cup to your lips as he shuts it tightly. Looking over your shoulder, you see Chan sitting up on his elbows, a scowl on his lips. "Seriously?" "It's the holiday season and they haven't seen us all year, it's only normal that they want to spend time with us." You roll your eyes as you set down your cup, sliding back under the covers as he grunts. "They can't wait until the sun comes up for that? I love our families, but I don't wanna be outside in subzero temps." "It's not even subzero, dumbass. It's like, seventeen degrees out." You rest your head on your pillow, looking up at him with tired eyes. "Subzero or seventeen, it's still the asscrack of dawn." "Never too early to have your hand up my shirt though, is it?" You say pointedly, and he scoffs as you shift uncomfortably in your sticky shorts. "So if I pull your shorts down, you won't be wet? You weren't complaining." "I never said that, but you're complaining about it being the asscrack of dawn yet you're feeling me up in your pretend sleep." You shake your finger in his face, making him sigh as he lays on his side. "Sometimes I just like touching you, okay? It doesn't always have to end in something, baby." "You mean you like riling me up so I'll be the one to pounce. You're not slick, I know your tricks." You drape his arm over your waist as you face away from him, feeling his lips brush the shell of your ear. "So should I continue or are you going to play hard to get?" "You know, you just reminded me to shove snow down your pants. Maybe then you'll calm down."

He scoffs, pressing a kiss just under your ear before pulling you closer to him. You nestle into his warmth, feeling his hand slip under your shirt. He doesn't move it, his thumb caressing just above your navel as his breathing slows. You close your eyes, but not feeling the thick veil of sleep creeping up on you. Huffing, you turn on your back, making Chan stir slightly but he says nothing. You stare at the ceiling, the early morning sun barely peeking in through your blinds. 

"You're thinking too loud."

Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you snort. "Sorry, did my thinking disturb you?" "Go back to sleep, we're not going to get a chance to rest until after dinner." He sighs, before you roll onto your side to face him. "I can't."

He hums, opening his eyes with a sigh. "Better start trying, baby. It's been like twenty minutes since your dad left." 

Rolling your eyes, you shift lower to press your face into his stomach. His hand cards through your hair gently, his fingertips grazing the skin of your neck as they dip below the collar of your shirt. "Comfortable?" "It's alright." You retort, making him laugh quietly. "Just alright?" "You don't need your head to grow any bigger, Lee." "Humor me, will you?"

"Never." You huff, fisting the material of his sweatshirt. His breathing slows once more, but yours still can't match his. Frustration festers in your stomach, and you find yourself tracing circles into his sweatshirt before pushing it up slightly, bunching it around his ribcage. Your fingers make contact with his warm skin, drawing shapes into it with your dull fingernails when you feel him softly tug at your hair.

"Don't start something you can't finish, baby."

You scoff, your breath warm against his skin. "Shut up." He only hums, your fingers continuing their tracing when you find yourself pressing your lips to his skin softly. Once, twice, three times as you move around his slim waist. He shifts slightly, a shaky sigh falling from his lips as you nip at the skin around his navel. Your palm pushes his hip down until he gets the hint, moving to lie on his back as you push his sweatshirt higher. Your thighs rest on his as you straddle him, and you feel the outline of his cock against the soaked fabric of your shorts.

You can feel his eyes on you as your tongue pokes out from between your lips, licking a stripe up his sternum before pressing a kiss between his pecs. You pepper kisses across his chest, feeling his breathing ragged beneath your wandering hands. Your thumb lightly ghosts over his right nipple, and you feel him jolt beneath you.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" He groans, making you smirk against his skin as you flick the tip of your tongue against his nipple, his hands flying to your hips to hold you steady. "Baby." "Stare at the ceiling or something, stop interrupting me." You shrug, before pulling his sweatshirt higher. "Take this off." He obliges, nearly ripping the piece of clothing over his head before sitting up slightly, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you into a searing kiss. You let out a squeak of surprise, his tongue snaking into your mouth at the opportunity. Your hand snakes up his torso, your fingers pinching lightly at one of his nipples. His hips jerk roughly against you, a moan spilling into your mouth as you pull away quickly, clamping your hand over his lips with a scowl.

"Shut the fuck up! Do you want them to hear you?"

He licks your palm, making you grimace as you wipe it on his shoulder, his hand on your neck pulling you back down to his lips. "I don't give a fuck who hears me as long as you're the one making me sound like this."

"Yeah, well I have shame. Shut your mouth before I put something in it." You snip, but his other hand snaps the waistband of your shorts against your hip. "Yeah? You'll shut me up?" "You're a sick freak." You scoff, shoving yourself off him. "Go lock the door."

His eyes widened as you began to undo the drawstring of your shorts, your thumbs sliding under the waistband with a pointed look. "Hello? Lock the fucking door, Chan." He nearly falls off the bed getting out of the sheets, making you snicker to yourself as you shove your shorts down your legs. You ignore the few strings of arousal connecting you to the ruined cotton and the way the cool air of your bedroom makes you wince, reaching for your phone as Chan slides back into the bed. 

7:15am.

"We only have fifteen minutes." You flick your shorts to the side as you move back over Chan, his eyes wide as he glances at them. "Baby." He breathes, holding them up by the waistband.

"Shut up, I'm ovulating or something." You roll your eyes as a blush coats your cheeks, making him snort. "Or something? Just admit you like it when I feel you up in my 'pretend' sleep." He makes air quotes with his fingers, making you scowl as you take the shorts from his hand.

"Open your mouth, since you can't stop running it." He sticks his tongue out at you, before happily opening his mouth. You stuff the crotch of the shorts into his mouth, ignoring the way his eyes flutter at the taste makes your core clench around nothing. You try not to look at him as you settle yourself onto his chiseled torso, the same faint tattoo mocking you as you try to figure it out. Biting your lip, you gently rolling your hips against him, the feeling of the hard muscle against your clit enough to make your legs tremble slightly. He groans around the shorts, his hands moving up your thighs as you grind down against his stomach.

With every rut of your cunt against his lower stomach, you can feel his painfully hard cock poking the meat of your ass. You ignore the way he winces every time, moaning softly around the soaked shorts as his hands move higher on your thighs, his grip only making you whine. It's not long before his stomach is covered in your arousal, your whimpers filling his ears as he covers your mouth with his hand before taking the shorts out of his mouth.

"I can make you cum faster than this." He whines as your thumbs circle around his nipples, but you roll your eyes, "I like it this way." "I know b-baby, but I'm two seconds from blowing in my pants." He sighs shakily as you move his hand from your mouth, pinning it above his head. Your lips brush against his as you lean forward, looking into his glossy eyes. "I'm not fucking you, you have to earn that." "Sit on my face." He breathes against your lips, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of them as you shake your head. "We won't have enough time–" "Two minutes, you know me." He begs, weaseling his arm out of your grip to push you up his torso as you huff. "Chan, it's risky–" "Everything about our entire relationship has been risky, why stop now?" He whispers, and you look at him to see a slightly dejected look in his eyes. He wants to please you, you know he does – and you want him to make it up to you. All those lonely nights missing his face between your thighs like a starved man, all the useless vibrators that got you nowhere near the orgasms he pulled out of you. "Make it fast." You mutter, moving to kneel over his face. He nods silently, his arms wrapping around your thighs as he pulls you down, his nose bumping your clit and making you jerk. "Chan!"

"Shh, baby." He murmurs, nosing at your pussy like a dog after a bone. "You smell so fucking good, missed this." 

You squirm as he places a kiss on your clit, your fingers holding onto the metal headboard for stability as he flicks his tongue against it teasingly. He moans into your wet heat, his pouty lips wrapping around your sensitive bud as you force yourself to swallow your whines, rocking your hips against his face, feeling your end coming embarrassingly fast.

"Chan." You breathe out, reaching down to pull at his hair as he furrows his brows, his tongue messily collecting your arousal with soft grunts. "Mmh?" You don't say anything, hoping he just knows what you mean as you let a whine slip, your thighs tightening around his head. He forces them apart, using his strength to grind you against his tongue. You're a whimpering mess above him, your thighs trembling as you fall forward against the headboard. You're gripping the metal with your hands as you come undone with a whisper of his name, feeling your stomach cave in as he keeps licking at you.

A knock at the door makes him stop (and you jerk), his arms holding you firmly against him as he clears his throat. "Yes?" "Are you guys up? Why is this door locked?" It's your mother, and she jiggles the doorknob as Chan laughs, lying on the spot. "I'm sorry, I'm changing! Y/N is about to get in the shower, she'll be out in twenty minutes, I promise." "Tell Y/N to wear leggings under her pants, it's freezing out there." She's not suspicious, and Chan gives you a look of relief as he answers. "Will do! Thank you!" "You're welcome!" The two of you sit in silence as you wait a few moments, before you feel Chan's tongue snake through your folds. You try to push off his face, but your legs feel like jelly as he fucks the tip of his tongue into you. "S-Stop, we have to go." "I bought us twenty minutes, gorgeous. Let me do what I gotta do." He mutters, practically making out with your clit as you squirm away. "Chan, we have to get up." He sighs, his hands massaging your thighs. "Can never relax, hm?" "Be so fucking serious." You scoff, mustering all your energy to get off his face. He watches as you lay on your stomach with a groan, "I can't even get up. Fuck you, man." "Please do. I never want to cum in my pants again, this shit feels so gross." He grimaces, sitting up and running his hands over your thighs, digging his thumbs into the sore muscles. You peek at his pants, your fingers coming to lift the waistband when he swats your fingers. 

"Come on, we have to shower or they won't buy it."

"Any time I've showered with you, you've tried to slide your dick between my asscheeks. I don't trust you." You snort, and he only lands a soft smack to your outer thigh. "It's a wonderful ass, can you blame me? But, for the sake of time and your so-called shame, I'll skip out on it." "Ugh, fine."

Chan stays true to his word, the ten-minute shower consisting of nothing but soft kissing under the showerhead and soapy hands sliding around naked bodies. Him finishing in his pants isn't a lie, either – and you apologize by letting him tongue at your nipples for two minutes. Every touch landing where it's not supposed to, pulling soft whines from each other as tongues slipped from mouths to collarbones before he reminded you that you couldn't mark each other above the neck if you wanted to remain undiscovered.

Chan toweled his hair dry and got changed quickly to appease your awaiting parents, but didn't leave the bathroom without a kiss…or three, to your lips. He lingered a bit as you dried your hair, a warm smile on his face as he watched your scrunched face in the mirror – when you caught his eye. "What?" "I love you." 

He doesn't wait for you to respond, only tucking his coat under his arm as he exits your bedroom. You pretend it doesn't make your knees weak as you pull two pairs of leggings on, and your snow pants. You pretend it doesn't fill your stomach with butterflies as you tug on two pairs of socks and your heavy boots. You pretend it doesn't make your cheeks warm as you pull on one of his t-shirts under your sweater, and you pretend it doesn't make you tingle with excitement as you shove on your coat and tuck your scarf under your chin. You slip out of your bedroom with your lip balm in your hand, only to see Mrs. Lee and your mother scolding Chan as he sits in one of the dining room chairs, your mother's hair dryer blowing hot air in his face. He's wincing as they let him have it, a pout on his lips as he sees you. "Tell them you hogged the hairdryer!" He begs, making you smirk. "I'd be lying, wouldn't I?" You reach out to ruffle his hair, sticking your tongue out at him as you make your way to the kitchen. You see Rosie and your father holding hot packs to their faces, your little sister's nose red from the cold. "Have fun out there, babycakes?" You ask, leaning on the island with a smile as she nods quickly. "Mingyu and Soonyoung helped me make a snowman! You and Channie have to help me, too. It has to be bigger!" "You met Mingyu and Soonyoung already? I haven't even met them!" You feign offense as she nods, your father rolling his eyes. "If you had been up earlier, Chan could've given you a proper introduction." "I was not going to be up at six in the morning to make a snowman, I'm sorry." You shrug, before checking your watch. "It's only eight, how are you guys so chipper?" "We don't have to wash all the dishes after supper. So I guess you're off the hook for not being up earlier." Your mother snorts from the kitchen entrance, a red-cheeked Chan following behind her. He sticks his tongue out at you, making you snort. "Nice hair, man." "Shut up." He rolls his eyes, and your mother sighs as she slides two plates of breakfast food in front of you. "Eat up, we've got a busy morning." You and Chan glance at each other, knowing she means that the entire family has to work to tire Rosie out enough that she takes a nap sooner rather than later. If she goes down later, everyone will be late for Christmas Eve dinner.

Which will make your mother very upset, and God forbid you make your mother upset during the holiday season!

You and Chan practically scarf your breakfast down as Rosie excitedly recounts how Mingyu and Soonyoung kept fighting over what carrot would make the best nose for her snowman. She smiles cutely as she holds up a carrot your father was holding, "But I saved the best one for our snowman, guys!" Your heart melts as she says that, your lip jutting out in a pout as you shovel the last of your waffles into your mouth. You take your plate and Chan's to the sink as she continues speaking, careful not to get your sleeves wet as you wash them quickly. Chan dries them as she gets to the part where Mingyu spit a raisin at Soonyoung, making you choke on your water. Rosie stops mid-story, tugging your father out of the kitchen – insisting she was all warmed up and ready to go back outside. "Save me!" Your father mouths as he allows your little sister to drag him out, making you snicker to yourself. Chan slides the plate into the cupboard, running the rag around the sink basin as the kitchen grows quiet. You swallow the last of your water, only to feel Chan's fingers on your jaw.

"Just a quick one." He utters quietly, his eyes darting to the entryway as you roll your eyes, pecking a chaste kiss onto his lips. He can't help but hold you in place, kissing you again slowly when you hear the door open. You push him away, sliding your empty glass onto the island as Mr. Lee yells into the house. "Get out here!" You both nearly trip over each other trying to exit the kitchen, Mr. Lee shoving two pairs of gloves in your hands as he shoves the two of you out. Chan shivers next to you, looping his arm with yours as you carefully make your way off your porch. You tug the gloves on, giving him the other pair as you brave the winter air.

"It's colder than a witch's tits." You hear someone say, and your head whips around to see two guys sitting in two folding chairs next to an abomination of a snowman, holding cups of coffee between ungloved fingers. Chan rolls his eyes as he tugs you towards them, their eyes averting to you and the one with blond hair nearly spits his coffee out.

"Don't be fucking weird, okay?" Chan says, and the blond one scoffs. "You didn't say she was a fucking bombshell, Chan!" "Maybe because it's none of your business if she is or isn't! She'd never date you, anyway." Chan pulls you close suddenly, and you smile sheepishly at the two men.

"Hi, Y/N." The brunet smiles at you, his eyes trailing you a bit too long for Chan's liking. "Don't look at his teeth, that's how he gets you." Chan covers your eyes with his hand, making you scoff as you pull it down.

"Don't be a baby, Chan." You roll your eyes, before extending your gaze to the men. "It's nice to meet you guys. Who is who?" "Mingyu." The blond one points at the brunet, who points back at him. "Soonyoung, resident idiot.' "Hey!" Soonyoung shoves him, making Mingyu snort. "It's the truth, Rosie made him eat a disk of snow with raisins on it."

You laugh as Chan sulks, making you pinch his cheek and coo. "Don't be jealous, Channie. As long as neither of them is taller than you–" "Suddenly, I need to stretch." Soonyoung says with a grin, and Mingyu rolls his eyes as Soonyoung tugs him up. Soonyoung is only two inches taller, but you find yourself whistling lowly at Mingyu's height.

"You're huge, dude." You look up at him, earning a huff from Chan. Mingyu smiles around the rim of his cup, shrugging as he takes a sip. "You're not the first to say that, but I can fit you in my schedule if you'd like to see what else is big." "Dude, no fair. He doesn't wash his socks, you know." Soonyoung scowls, making you snort. "Yeah? What about you, Soonie?" "Enough! We're out here to build a snowman that's better than your absolute monstrosity, not for you two to hit on my best friend until I vomit!" Chan stomps his foot like a toddler, and you laugh, patting his chest. "Chan, buddy, reign it in! Go get Rosie." He looks hesitant as his cousins make eyes at you. There's a pout on his lips as you pinch his cheek again, whispering in his ear. "Be a good boy and fetch, yeah?"

He should be embarrassed at how quickly his cheeks tinge pink at your words, ignoring his cousins' teasing as he turns on his heel to find Rosie. He watches from his peripheral as they joke with you, how easily they make you laugh and how you fit right in with the duo. His heart warms a bit at the idea of his extended family liking you so quickly, but the idea quickly gets shoved aside as he remembers how flirtatious and greasy his cousins can be. The next two hours are spent with Mingyu and Soonyoung calling you pretty and cute to bother Chan, and you instigating the compliments to get under his skin. Rosie got tired halfway through building the snowman, and made you promise you wouldn't finish it without her. She gave you the carrot for safekeeping, making you tuck it into your jacket pocket as your father hauled her into the house. Your mother and Mrs. Lee made a quick trip down to the restaurant, and your father and Mr. Lee opted to salt the driveways and sidewalks for the dinner trip later that day.

Chan? He's tonguing his cheek as he packs snow in his hand, hearing Mingyu call you gorgeous as you take a sip from his cup of coffee. He chucks it in his direction, hitting Mingyu square in the shoulder. Mingyu stops talking as he feels the impact, his jaw dropping as he sees the snow sliding off the leather of his thick jacket. He wipes the snow off his jacket with a boyish grin, and your eyes widen as Soonyoung quickly throws a snowball at Chan – who dodges it and lands one of his own on Soonyoung's chest.

You snort to yourself as the trio begin to throw snowballs of various sizes between each other, opting to settle in Mingyu's folding chair with your legs crossed. You hold his cup of coffee, before calling out to the men. "Whoever wins gets to help me pin Chan down and shove snow down his pants!" Mingyu smirks, running his tongue over his teeth as he zeros in on Chan – who is gaping at you. "Oh, come on! That's not fucking fair!" "Good luck!" You hold up Mingyu's cup, tilting it towards them as the two men begin to chase after Chan, who has a hefty head start as he hides behind your father's SUV before hopping the fence to your backyard. Your dad snorts as he salts the sidewalk you're sitting on, "You're awful to that boy, you know." "A little snow down the pants never killed anyone." You retort, making him shake his head. "How're Mingyu and Soonyoung? Nice fellas, eh?" "If you count them flirting with me to piss Chan off nice, I'd say so." You grin, and he rolls his eyes. "You're something else, honey. Just talk to the kid." "I do talk to him, Dad. Trust me, I talk. He just doesn't listen." Rolling your eyes, you hear something reminiscent of a battle cry when you see Chan pelting Mingyu and Soonyoung with snowballs as he whizzes past you and your father, making you both double over in laughter as they round the corner into the next neighborhood. It fades to quiet for a moment, before you hear yet another shriek, followed by a fuck yeah!

You and your father look up to see Mingyu holding Chan over his shoulder, thrashing in order to free himself. Soonyoung throws his scarf around Mingyu's waist, effectively tying Chan's legs to the bigger man. Chan slumps against Mingyu, and you almost feel bad as your father shakes his head at you, "Not too much snow, Y/N. Be considerate." "You got it, boss!" You call after him as he shuffles into the house, and Mingyu grins as he presents Chan to you, turning around to show you the defeated pout on his face. "You hate me, Y/N. You hate me and you're going to freeze my dick off with a chunk of snow." "I could never hate you, Channie. But, I do want you to suffer just a bit." You smirk, and he sighs. "Put me down!" "Will you run?" You take a sip of the cup, and Chan's eyes flash with jealousy. "No. But you can't use more than a snowball's worth of snow. Promise me." He holds his pinky out, and you wait until Soonyoung turns around to grab his coffee to peck his cheek. He flushes, but you can just barely tell under his wind-bitten skin. "No promises, Channie." Mingyu manages to wrestle his arms behind his back, Soonyoung just teasing Chan as they all watch you gather snow in your gloved hands. Chan whines pitifully in Mingyu's hold as you approach with a decent amount of snow in your hands and an evil smile on your face.

"Y/N, please. I'll beg, I will! Don't do this–" Your best friend squirms in Mingyu's arms, and you make kissy faces at him as your hand pulls at his waistband. The flannel lining is stark red against the white snow, and Chan braces himself as you press a shameless kiss to his forehead.

"Y/N, don't! I'll buy your breakfast for a month! I won't ever drop you during practice again, baby please–fuck!" Chan thrashes against Mingyu as the snow slides down his legs, having foolishly only worn the snow pants over his boxers. "Oh you fucking hate me, oh my God! Let me go!" He frees himself from Mingyu, who can barely hold himself up from laughing as Chan shakes the snow out of his pants, jumping around like a frog to warm himself up. "Go get in the shower before you get frostbite on your balls!" Soonyoung calls after him as he races into your house, making you snort as you finish off the last of Mingyu's coffee.

"Love that guy, he's so easy to torture." You roll your eyes as you take Mingyu's chair once more, earning a warm look from Mingyu. "How long did you guys date back then? He only told us so much." You shrug, "Couple months. A really good two months, but…just the two."

You toy with the cup, before Soonyoung sighs. "He's a good kid. Please don't break his heart again, I don't think he can take it." He rubs his neck, and Mingyu nods, kicking snow off his boot. "It's funny that we've never met you until now, Chan has talked about you as long as he's been able to."  The statement makes you snort. "Yeah, well. Chan's a jealous guy, that's how we even started dating in the first place. He didn't like that his frat brothers were making eyes at me when I helped him move in, but I guess he just never understood that…" You trail off, clearing your throat when Soonyoung finishes your sentence. "Understood that he's the only one for you?" He tries, and you sigh, nodding. "Yeah." "That's cute. Like, so cute. Adorable, even." Mingyu teases, and you lightly punch his shoulder. "Shut up." "I always thought Chan would end up with you. The amount of times we'd have to kick him off the Playstation because he'd talk about you instead of playing his turn was insane." Soonyoung scoffs, taking a sip from his cup. "I think I've heard your favorite color at least eighty times in my lifetime, tell me it's still green." "It is still green, ha." You smile shyly, and Mingyu lies down in the snow, staring at the sky. "Well, it's nice to know Chan has someone who clearly cares. I know you guys broke up because of school, right? Too busy and all that." "I felt so overwhelmed. We broke up and he made the fucking Dean's list, I was crushed when I didn't. Then again, Chan's always been better at masking how he feels when it comes to…things between us." Shrugging, you feel the heat of Soonyoung's gaze.

"Finding out about all those girls must've gotten to you, huh? He was an idiot, I told him he was when he talked to me about it. He cried, too. Dumbass." Soonyoung rolls his eyes, and your own widen. "He cried? Why?" "He told me two years ago, I think it was summer. I came up here, but you'd gone to a cheer camp for a few days and you came back the day that I left. We got drunk in the backyard and he cried his eyes out about you, and how none of the girls compared to you." He shrugs, and Mingyu pipes up. 

"I was there, too. My best friend was apparently the one who told him to fuck other girls, I cannot tell you how big of a fight we got into when I confronted him about it. It was so ugly, and I was pissed for so long."

"Wonwoo is also one to fucking talk, he's been stuck on one of my friends for ages. Last time he visited, I swear he lost his mind seeing her in her bikini." Soonyoung scoffs, and you nod quietly, "Chan is a dumbass, you're right."

"How long did it take you to move on? Did you?" Mingyu asks, propping himself up on his elbows. You frown, shaking your head. "I slept with one other guy, a year ago. It was okay, but you know." "It wasn't Chan." Soonyoung says softly, and you only slump in your chair. "I felt so pathetic. I still do, sometimes. It's hard not to think about those other girls when he's constantly just…there. He's both the angel and devil on my shoulder, he's consistently encouraging me but then he comes home for the holidays with me and he hurts my feelings." Mingyu sits up fully, a furrow on his brow as he looks at you.

"What do you mean?" "Ugh, it doesn't matter. It was stupid, and he apologized but now…now he's acting like he's in love with me, still. And I…don't know how to take it, or if I should believe him." You murmur, covering your face with your hands as Soonyoung hums. "Well, what did he say to make you think he's still in love with you?" "He said it, verbatim. He says he loves me, he said he wanted to try to win me back. He said that nothing meant anything to him after we broke up, and that he's looked for me in every girl he's been with since." Your voice is slightly muffled by your gloves, and you miss the endeared glances Soonyoung and Mingyu share.

"Then there you have it, Y/N. Not much to question when he's so outright, is there?" Soonyoung speaks around his cup, and you sigh, pushing yourself off the chair. "I guess…I don't know. We're taking a drive after dinner tonight, we might talk then. When do you guys leave?" "In about two hours. But, give us your contact information, you're funny." Mingyu holds his phone out, and you roll your eyes but quickly type in your information. Soonyoung hands you his as well, and they both send you a text to confirm their numbers. You give them each a hug goodbye, with Mingyu pinching your cheek and telling you to just go with the flow. Soonyoung ruffles your hair and tells you that at the end of the day, Chan is just a man and no matter how much you love him, you've got to put yourself first.

And you agree.

You don't get a chance to check in with Chan after saying goodbye to his cousins, because your father ropes you into waking Rosie up and helping her get dressed for dinner. You're holed away in her room, carefully curling her hair when she asks you about Chan.

"Do you hold hands with him?" She asks you suddenly, and you look at her in the mirror, the bathroom light making her dress glitter brighter. Hers was a soft ivory color, likely one to match your mother's. Your father had told you he'd get a champagne tie and pocket square so you'd all look cohesive, and you'd agreed as he left you to babysit Rosie – only for your mother to bang around in the kitchen moments after he left.

"With who, babycakes?" "With Channie, Y/N!" She whines as you spray her hair, and you snort. "Sometimes. When we cross the street, or sometimes just because. He's my best friend, we can do stuff like that." "Have you ever had a crush on him, Y/N?" She wiggles her eyebrows in the mirror, and you laugh, pressing a kiss to her hairline. "Yeah, I have. You can have crushes on your friends, it's very common. It's not always the best idea, though. It can be really hurtful if they don't like you back." "So were you boyfriend and girlfriend or not? Because you say no but Mommy said yes." She got you, hook, line and sinker. You gape at her, and her eyes are pointed as you scoff. "Okay, fine. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for a little bit." "A little bit!? Why not forever? Ugh!" She gripes, and you can only hold back your shock as you smear a little bit of sunscreen on her face. "Well, sometimes things just don't work out, babycakes. Plus, Channie and I will always be best friends." "Daddy told me that he and Mommy were best friends and now they're married. Maybe you and Channie can get married, too!"

You feel your chest grow warm at the idea of marrying Chan, and the fact that Rosie liked him so much that she wanted that for you. You recall your father also telling you the story of how he and your mother met, and why he was so adamant that you and Chan would figure it out. He told you that story so many times over the years, you had it practically memorized.

"Maybe, Rosie." You grin, kissing her nose. "No promises." "It's okay, Channie promised me." She shrugs, climbing out of her chair as you freeze. "What? What'd you say?" "I said, Channie promised me. I asked him yesterday when we were playing Barbies in the car. But it's a secret, so don't tell him I told you." She says sternly, making you gape as she abandons you to find your mother downstairs. You take a deep breath, ignoring the way your stomach fills with fluttering as you make your way downstairs. You see Chan sitting at the dinner table, hair mussed from the wind outside as your mother serves him a cup of coffee. His eyes catch yours, and you quickly look away as you jump the rest of the stairs and dart into your bedroom.

You barely make it to your bedroom without the tears spilling down your face, and you lock the door behind you. You slide down the door, pulling your knees to your chest as you think back to all the moments between you and Chan. All the times he said he loved you, all the times he said he couldn't imagine a life without you.

The time in the backseat of his car, almost three years to the date – where he said both over and over again. Where he dragged his lips anywhere you'd let him, whispers of how perfect you were for him and how insane you made him feel. Where he made you cry as he touched you just right, biting at your shoulders and digging his dull nails into your hips.

Where he told you that you'd tattooed your name across his heart and it was yours forever.

Your body shook with ragged sobs, and you forced yourself to get up off the floor as regret only sank further in. You broke up with him. It was the right thing to do, for the sake of your friendship and the idea of any future together. It was the right thing to do.

"Fuck." You hold yourself over the sink of your bathroom, splashing cold water on your face and letting it drip into the basin. Your tears mixed with the water, and you hear a soft knock at your bedroom door, before the doorknob wiggles. "Y/N? Are you alright in there?" It's your father. You quickly dry your face with a towel, tossing it into the sink before ripping the door open. "Hey, Dad. D'ya get your stuff?" "Honey, are you alright?" His face is worried as his hand comes up to your cheek, and you quickly nod. "I'm good, I promise. I just had one of those moments, you know. Seasonal depresh and what not." He quirks a brow at you, "Seasonal depresh?"

"Dad!" You whine, and he shrugs. "Yes, I got my pocket square. Can you check if it matches your dress? Oh, tell me you're gonna go for curls this year, because your mom is and she's mad that Rosie's are 'too tight.'" He rolls his eyes at the same time you do, making you snort. "Yeah, I'll check. I'm gonna start getting ready now, can you let Chan know so he doesn't come barging in here?" "He's at his house, he just left. He'll be driving you both, though, so you can be comfortable in your shoes." He nods, and you take the pocket square. "I'll get this to you when I'm done, okay?" "For sure, honey. I'll be back later, don't rush." He nods, closing the door as he leaves. You toss the pocket square onto the vanity, before looking into it with a slightly defeated look. You grimace, before grabbing a towel out of one of your drawers.

It didn't take you too long to get ready – you got in and out of the shower, and did your hair within two hours. Your makeup was done an hour later, with Rosie barging into your room and demanding you put lipstick on her, too. You rolled your eyes at her, telling her to say please, telling her to say thank you – both of which she did after you swiped the wine red on her lips. She scampered out of your room as you slipped into your closet, your mother appearing in your doorway to offer her help with zipping you up.

"You look just like me sometimes." She murmurs as she zips the dress, her fingers nimbly hooking the clasp at the top. She runs her fingers through the large curls you'd given yourself, smiling at you in the mirror. You give her a weak one in return, when she sighs, her hands on your shoulders.

"I wanted to apologize, baby." Her eyes are worried as you glance at them through the mirror, your fingers fumbling with the jewelry box in front of you. "Apologize? For what?" "A few years ago, I told you that I thought you were a little too harsh with your words around Chan. I think I went as far as calling you the brute of the relationship, didn't I?" She asks softly, and you look away as you tongue at your lower lip. "Yeah." "I'm sorry. I spoke to Chan earlier after his cousins left, he came in for a cup of coffee before he went to go get ready for dinner. I asked him a few questions about you, and he told me what he said to you a few days ago." She tucks a stray curl behind your ear, thumbing at the hoops she'd given you so many years ago. "It was really shitty of him to speak to you that way, and I told him so. I also told him that if he thinks he has even a remote chance of fixing things with you, that he better get on it soon. You're too kind for your own good sometimes, darling." "You think so?" You mumble, your eyes falling on a necklace Chan gave you for your birthday the year Rosie was born. You hadn't had a party that year, insisting Rosie was more important than anything else. He'd given it to you anyway, on the bus the morning of your birthday. You cried like a baby into his shoulder.

"I know so, honey. I know that somewhere in that heart of yours, you're waiting for him to make things right. Sometimes, I don't agree with it, but I also know you. I know you don't give anyone who doesn't deserve a second chance even a moment to speak to you. You're strong like that, just like your father."

You smile inwardly, her fingers lightly pinching your cheek. "I know you're good at taking care of yourself, but I also know Chan can take good care of you, too. I want you to be happy, and I know Chan makes you happier. You should've seen how you came into the house that year you were dating. You were smiling from ear to ear, like the Cheshire cat." She leaves with a kiss to your cheek, careful not to smudge her own lipstick onto it. She closes the door quietly, but not before you hear the Lees greet your father warmly as they filed into your home. You thumb at the necklace, the simple heart-shaped locket opening to a picture of you and Chan as teenagers. You often wore it open, liking when people asked you questions about the picture. No bigger than a coin, the gold locket has always been something you carried with you even if you didn't wear it.

"Y/N, I'm here for my pocket square!" Your father knocks on the door, and you open the door, holding it out. "Here you go." "Oh, honey! You look so pretty!" Your father covers his face as you spin, before he takes his pocket square. "Wow, you look so much like your mother sometimes." "Funny, she said the same thing." You snort, and he uses the vanity in your bedroom to fix his pocket square carefully. "We discussed seating charts, you're sitting between Chan and Rosie. Is that okay, or should I switch one of them out?" "That's fine. Can you actually send Chan in here? I need to talk to him." You nod, and your father glances at you in the mirror. "Are you sure?" "Positive. Won't take long."

Your father leaves with a kiss to your hairline, and you fumble with the necklace until you hear footsteps outside your door. You lean carefully, hearing a deep breath before a knock. "Come in." Chan slides through the door with closed eyes, almost like he's bracing himself for something. You snort, "What the hell is wrong with you? Open your eyes." "Your dad said you need to talk to me, and if you're going to dump me again, I don't need you to look beautiful doing it." He rushes out, making you gape. "Chan." "I'm serious. I haven't seen you yet but I know you look great. I mean, you always look amazing but I don't think I can handle you dumping me on Christmas Eve when you're in one of those pretty dresses you always wear." He can hardly breathe, and you can't help but laugh. "Nobody's getting dumped, please relax. I just need your help putting my necklace on." "I don't believe you, you could've asked your dad." He shakes his head, eyes screwed shut so tightly you're worried they might never open again. You walk over to him, running your fingers through his hair carefully, before thumbing at the small silver hoop in his ear. "You know we're not exactly together, right?" "In my mind, we've been married since we were in second grade and Hyewon officiated it." He scoffs, and you quirk an eyebrow. "Is that why you promised my sister we'd get married?" His eyes open wide, his lips parting slightly. "She told you?" "Oh good, your eyes are open. Help me put this on." You turn around, grabbing the necklace off your vanity. You pinch the chain carefully, holding it out to him when you look up to see his hand covering his mouth. His eyes rake over you slowly, and you feel your cheeks grow hot as he walks around you. You shift uneasily as he makes it back in front of you, "Do I look okay?" "Okay?" He whispers, making you look in the mirror. You run your hands down the bodice of the dress, "Is it too much?" "Too much?" He's still whispering, his eyes still running up and down your frame as you grow nervous. "Chan! You're freaking me out!" "Oh, baby." He murmurs, taking a few steps closer to you, taking your hand gently and making you spin for him. You feel nerves settle in your stomach, when he finally speaks. "You look so beautiful. I truly don't think words can express how absolutely angelic you look, are you real? Please tell me you're real, this would be a cruel dream." His eyes are wide and slightly glossy as he turns around, and you hear a soft sniffle. You watch his hands move around his face from behind him, your eyes growing wide as he turns back around, teary-eyed as he presses a kiss to your forehead. "No, it's not too much. You're never too much. You look great. Are you ready?" You gawk at him, "Chan, why are you crying?" "Nevermind that." He shakes his head, tucking a stray curl behind your ear. Your brows are furrowed, and you hold out the necklace. "Help me put this on." He glances at the necklace, his cheeks and ears burning a soft pink hue as you spin around, moving your hair to the front. He sighs shakily, carefully looping the locket around your neck and clipping it. You adjust the locket, your lips pursed as you open it. "Wear it like that." He speaks behind you, his hand appearing on your hip in the reflection. You raise a brow, closing the locket only to hear a whine as he rests his chin on your shoulder. Rolling your eyes, you open it, adjusting it to show the small photo of the two of you. "How was saying goodbye to your cousins? They had a lot to say about you." "It was fine. We sent them off with your mom's leftover cake, and Soonyoung finished it in the car before they even drove off. Mingyu was pissed." He snorts, and you hum quietly, reaching for the jewelry box once more. You sifted through your rings, Chan pressing a soft kiss to your jaw.

"I missed you." He pouts, and you give him a half-smirk as you peer down at him. "Did you, now?" "Stop talking to me like that, I'll get hard. You did it earlier too, but I was ashamed then, there were people around." He buries his face into your neck, and you snort out a laugh. "What are you talking about? I'm not talking to you in any sort of way." "Oh, so telling me to fetch like a dog isn't talking down to me?" He scoffs, cheeks aflame as he meets your eyes in the mirror. You suck your teeth, sliding on one of your rings with a shake of your head. "You liked that? You're something else, Chan." "I've literally always been like this, you just didn't notice before." Rolling his eyes, he wraps his arms around your waist. This is when you notice his suit jacket cuffed with silver cufflinks, a gift from your father years ago for graduation. You twist slightly, the top two buttons of his black shirt undone to show off a few layered chains. Some were gifts from you.

Your hand pushes him back slightly, his eyes never leaving your face as he lets you run yours all over him. Your fingers tug at his belt buckle, "You look really nice." "You can do better than that." He chides, and you swallow a scoff but roll your eyes as you pull him to you by his belt loop. You press your lips to his lightly, "You take what you're given, or nothing at all." He breathes out heavily against your lips, and you move your hand to rest on his stomach. "Are you ready? They're going to want to take pictures before we leave."

He can't reply, the two of you springing apart when you hear a knock at the door. You cough as Chan blinks, before opening it to reveal Rosie. "Hi, pipsqueak." "Mommy said that if you're not in the living room, she's going to leave you both here." She relays with a roll of her eyes, and you hold back a snort. "Can't have that, can we?" Rosie asks Chan to pick her up as you slide on one last ring, your fingers fumbling with the lights. Rosie's pink cast is around Chan's neck as he holds her on his hip, and you instinctively slot your fingers with his before remembering your parents will see you. He squeezes your fingers lightly, a sheepish smile on his lips as you let go.

"Wow!" Mrs. Lee is the first person you hear as you step into the living room, your cheeks burning as she clambers over. "Look at you, honey! Oh, you're so grown up." Her hands are tucking your hair behind your ears, the both of you missing the way Chan's eyes fill with adoration as he delivers Rosie to your father. He clears his throat inwardly, watching the way your parents move in front of your fireplace for photos. He can't keep his eyes off you the entire time, even as his parents shove the two of you together for a photo.

"Chan, don't act like you did on prom night. Act like you wanna be here." Your mother scolds him playfully, and you feel your heart flutter as you tug his arm around your waist. His fingers easily settle low on your hip, your own finding his shoulder and you rest your cheek on top. "Smile!" Chan's fingers squeeze your hip as everyone turns away, sneakily pressing his lips to your temple as you begin to move away. Your eyes are wide as he walks away, grabbing your coat off your father's hands and helping you slide it on from behind. Everyone is trying to help Rosie, and he takes the opportunity to whisper in your ear.

"I'm so in love with you. I wish things were different right now." He sighs, carefully tucking your hair into the hood of your coat. You feel your cheeks heat as you turn so he can zip it up, wrapping your scarf loosely around your neck as he connects the zipper at the bottom. 

"I know. Eventually, okay? Just give me some time." You mumble back, tucking the end of your scarf into the coat as he nods defeatedly. You resist the urge to caress his cheek, run your fingers through his hair, kiss him. A weak smile is all you can muster as he straightens fully, adjusting your scarf so the zipper won't snag.

Your parents are looking your way, your mother watching the way Chan carefully zips your coat up. Your father smiles as he makes your mother turn away, "Your keys are in Chan's coat. Lock the door, come on." The two of you scramble behind your parents, Chan hastily shoving his coat on as you wrap his scarf around him as he walks forward. You tuck it into the coat as he zips himself up, his hand holding you steady in your heels as you step onto the porch. He locks the door quickly, trying the doorknob twice as your father helps your mother down the steps, and he offers his hand when he looks at your feet. "Y/N, why are your shoes open-toed? Are you out of your mind?" "I didn't have any heels that matched! It'll be fine!" You huff, and he gestures at the snowy pathway leading to your car. "Your toes are going to freeze and then you're going to get sick and die. Do you want to get sick and die, Y/N?" He scoffs, and you feel your scream caught in your throat as he picks you up princess-style. "Chan! Put me down!" He ignores you as he steps off the porch, carefully maneuvering his way to your car as you huff. Your lip is jutted out in a pout as he unlocks your car, bending at the knee to open your door and carefully set you down on the seat. He buckles your seatbelt in for you as your father pulls out of the driveway, giving you a honk as he turns out of your neighborhood. Chan shuts your door, rounding the front of the car to the driver's side. "You didn't have to do that." You mutter as he slides in, sticking the keys into the ignition as he shivers. "Yes, I did. Don't be brat, just let me take care of you." You don't reply, picking at your nails as he plugs his phone into the aux, handing it to you. Shuffling one of his playlists, the two of you freeze as you hear the opening notes of Meddle About by Chase Atlantic flow through the speakers. Chan purses his lips, single handedly unplugging his phone and tossing it into the backseat. "Nope. No music tonight, it seems."

"I thought you liked that song." You reach for his phone, grabbing it off the edge of the backseat and sliding it into the cupholder as he pulls out of the neighborhood. He has a tick in his jaw as he flicks on the turn signal, "I like it when we're in the backseat and you're on top of me, not when I'm driving you to dinner and not when you're in my clothes on the drive to your house." Your jaw could very well be on the floor the way you're gaping at him, his fingers reaching over to close your mouth. "Chan." "What? I think about that night all the time." He scoffs, turning onto the main street that makes the drive to your mother's restaurant five minutes longer. His hand floats down to your thigh, settling high on it through the slit of your dress. Tonguing your cheek, you stare out the window as your hand settles atop his. "You mean the night that–" "Shut up." You snicker to yourself, sliding your fingers between his. "You know it's not the worst thing in the world, right? Tons of people have breeding kinks." He winces as you say it, making a strangled noise of discomfort from his seat before glancing at you. "Y/N, I want you to take a really good look at me right now and tell me that it wasn't weird." He scoffs, and you shrug, facing him.

"It wasn't weird. I liked it." You admit, "I think the slightly weirder part was calling you daddy, but some things you do out of…you know." You trail off, feeling your cheeks hot as you look out the window. Chan makes a noise of approval, his hand flipping beneath yours to interlace your fingers. He brings your knuckles to his lips, a chaste kiss pressed on top of your rings. "I know, babe." The rest of the ride is silent, some shy glances shared before you pull into the parking lot where your father is waiting with Rosie. You smile, squeezing his hand in the shadow of the center console before letting go. Chan pulls around the building, looking for a parking spot. "We're still taking that drive later, right?" "If you're not too tired, or drunk." He snorts, and you gasp, landing a soft smack to his arm. "I got drunk one time!" "You called me daddy one time, I think that goes to show that you're game for anything at least once." He teases, and you sigh inwardly. "I guess that's true." "I know it is, I know you like the back of my hand. I love you." He says, mostly to himself as he pulls into a spot just a few feet from the door. Killing the engine, he looks over the steering wheel at your father. "Can your dad see us from here?" "I don't think so, he's entertaining Rosie. Why?" You unbuckle your seatbelt as he gets out, and you feel the door close as he rounds the car to open your door. You wait, before feeling the cold gust of winter air rush into the car. You shiver, grabbing Chan's phone out of the cupholder and taking his hand to step out. He pulls you close, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ears as you look into his eyes. "Something wrong?" "No." He shakes his head, a soft smile on his lips as he thumbs at your earlobes. You tilt your head at him, eyes narrowed. "Are you sure?" "Don't drink tonight." He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you nod slowly. "Any special reason?" 

He shrugs, before looping his arm with yours and pulling you towards the front of the restaurant. You can't help but look up at him with a shy smile as he guides you around piles of snow, before seeing the flash of a camera. You blink rapidly, before looking up to see your father holding Rosie on his hip, her hands holding a camera. Chan greets your father warmly, and Rosie shows him the photo. "Can I see, too?" You ask, peering over Chan's shoulder when Rosie tilts it away. "No." Your pout does nothing to sway your baby sister, making Chan snicker at you. The four of you walk into the restaurant, the warm air of the establishment like a blanket fresh out of the dryer. "I still can't believe your parents named both their businesses after you." Chan murmurs as you walk to the reserved room your mother arranges every year, and you snort.

"What can I say, they love me." You shrug, resting your head on his shoulder. Rosie looks over your father's shoulder, a crinkle in her nose as she sees the closeness between the two of you. "Are you sure you're not boyfriend and girlfriend?" "We're sure, babycakes." You laugh softly, moving to pull yourself away from Chan but feeling his fingers interlace with yours before you can. You glance at him, only to see him sticking his tongue out at Rosie, who blows a raspberry at him. A pit of anxiety opens in your stomach as your father opens the door for you both, letting you slip by when you feel Chan's fingers let go of yours, and a murmur of Can I talk to you, sir?

Rosie enters with you, Chan and your father lingering at the door before they take a turn back outside. Your eyes widen as Rosie leads you to the table, your mother sharing the same quizzical look. "Y/N, where's Chan? Did you guys fight?" "No, no. He's…he's with Dad." You reply absently, pulling your coat off as your mother helps Rosie out of hers. The table is set and covered entirely with food, the roast pig being the main attraction in the center of the table. You find your seat, pulling Rosie closer to you to fill the strange pit you feel. Chan and your father don't appear for another ten minutes, but they're both rather stoic as they enter – but you see a soft smile on his face as Chan takes his seat opposite your father.

"Everything okay?" Mrs. Lee asks gently, and Chan nods. "Don't worry, all good." If anyone notices how quiet you are during dinner, they don't say anything. You feel the heat of Chan's gaze more than once, but everyone is too wrapped up in the food and the conversation – to even notice the fact that Rosie fell asleep into her mashed potatoes. You're the one who realizes she's fallen asleep, cooing as you carefully wipe her face and wrap her coat around her as her head lolls onto your arm. You scoot closer, lifting her onto your lap and resting her head on your chest.

"Did she fall asleep?" Your mother asks incredulously, making you snort. "Right into her mashed potatoes. Don't worry, I got it." You wrap your arms around her, leaning back in your chair. "Your dinner, though?" Your mother points at your picked plate, and you shrug. "I'll take it home. No big deal, I'm not exactly hungry. I could fall asleep right now, too." You shake your head, running your fingers through your sister's hair. Your mother nods, beckoning one of her waitstaff to wrap the plate up for you. His name is Hansol, and he carefully takes your plate and disappears with it.

Dinner continues for a few more hours, and you reach over to Chan and tug on his sleeve. He gives you a glance, concern in his eyes before you tap your wrist. He checks his watch, flashing it to you. Midnight. You wince, looking over to your father to see him glancing at his own watch. "Oh, man. It's really late, we should get going." He hisses, and your mother's eyes widen as she sees the time. "Shit, I told them we'd be out by eleven. Alright, up. Let's get going." Your father takes Rosie from your lap, and your mother carefully pulls her coat over the pink cast. You watch tentatively, ready to step in at any moment when you feel Chan's hand on your shoulder. Jumping slightly, you feel the soft fabric of your coat. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Arms, please." You don't look at him as he works around you, until Rosie is on your father's hip and Chan is wrapping your scarf around you. "You're distracted tonight. Everything okay?" Chan's voice is soft as he zips your coat up, his own already settled on his frame. "What did you and my dad talk about?" You blurt, and he raises a brow as he follows the four parents out of the room, who are still chattering about everything and anything. He scans your face, concern weighing heavy on his brows before he smiles. "I didn't ask him to marry you, if that's what you're worried about. That's further down the line." Seeing the way your shoulders settle, Chan loops his arm with yours. "Did you want me to ask him?" You don't respond, letting him lead you out of the restaurant. Your parents are all still talking as your father buckles Rosie into her carseat, her eyes opening slightly as you pass by. You wave at her, only for her eyes to close again. Smiling to yourself, you wait for your parents to acknowledge you and Chan waiting by the front of your father's SUV.

"Going for a drive?" Your mother asks gently, and you nod. "Home soon, don't worry." You hold your pinky out, only for your father to clasp it with his own. "Take your time. Drive safe."

Your eyes search your father for answers, and he only smiles. "See you at home, honey."

Nodding slowly, you and Chan bid your parents goodnight, your mother's eyes lingering as Chan walks you back to the car. You can feel your chest a bit tight as he opens your door, but give him a strained smile as he gets into the driver's seat.

"Alright, what's eating you? Besides me." He jokes lightly, pulling out of the parking lot. You see your parents' car already at the stoplight in the street, the light turning green just as Chan pulls into the street. "Nothing." "You're lying." He plugs his phone into the aux as the light turns red, a click of his tongue as he presses shuffle on yet another random playlist. The soft melody of Scared To Live by The Weekend pours out of your speakers as he takes the oh-so-familiar turn down the same road you've taken this drive on every year. It's scenic, it's always decked with Christmas lights and it leads you right to a random cliff that overlooks the entire city. You sigh as he holds his hand out for yours, interlacing your fingers and leaning back on the headrest. You recline your seat a bit, crossing your legs at the knee. He lets go of your hand and you cover your face with your arms, his fingers sliding up and down your exposed thigh.

"You can always talk to me, you know." He murmurs over the music, this time it's Fantasy by Bazzi. You nod silently, hearing a hum from him as he traces circles into your skin with his thumb. The drive is silent aside from the music, Chan's comfort seeping into your body via his hand and your shoulders losing their tension as he pulls into the deserted cliff. You'd found it years before you went to college, and enjoyed retreating there to get high together behind your parents' backs. You also exchanged one Christmas gift here every year, basking in the privacy and security of each other's warmth on the hood of whoever's car you took that time.

"So? What's going on?" He parks the car, lowering the music as he turns to look at you. You peek at him from beneath your arms, a pout on your lips. "Nothing, really. I'm good."

Chan moves your arms from your face, his fingers coming to poke at your cheeks with every word. 'You are such a bad liar, baby."

You groan, "It's stupid. It's so stupid because you're probably not going to have to deal with until you're in your fucking thirties but I've been dealing with it since I was in high school." Your pout makes Chan thumb at your lip, an understanding look in his eyes. "You mean that same conversation your parents keep having with you about having kids and getting married?" "Yes! Ugh, that's why I was so quiet at dinner. And why I was so pissy on the way here from campus. I do not want to have this fucking conversation again this year, especially when I don't even know what's going to happen when we leave." You fall back into your seat, feeling Chan's hand cup your knee. "I'm so sick of being asked the same shit, I'll get married when I get married and I'll have kids when I have kids. What about my career? No one but you and my dad ask about what I want to do after college. What if I want a master's degree? What if I want a doctorate?" Chan listens intently, his eyes flowing between worried and understanding. "Well, what if? Do you want to do that? What do you want to do after we graduate? Do you want to move back here, do you want to move somewhere else, do you want to pursue something more? Do you want to work full-time?" "What does it matter what I want? You want to get married, Chan." You sigh, and he shakes his head. "It matters because you're your own person, not an extension of me. I don't want to get married if you don't want to, and definitely not if we're not well established. Stable present makes for a stable future, and I want things to be just as easy as they always have been between you and me. You call my name, I come. If time is the issue, I'll wait. I waited my entire life before freshman year, and I've waited three years since then."

You peer up at him, "So you're serious about marrying me? You weren't kidding?" "Respectfully, I don't think you've ever sounded more insane than you do right now." He scoffs, sitting up and pulling you with him. Your lip is jutted out in a slight pout as you thumb the seam of your dress, Chan's fingers grazing your jaw as he makes you look at him. 

"I love you, Y/N. I'd wait an eternity for you, as long as you're happy. I want you to feel fulfilled, and I know that you're not going to if I try to tie you down with bullshit. Yes, I want to get married. Yes, I want to marry you. You've seen me through every stage of my life and as painful as it may have been for you because I've been an absolute douche, you stuck by me. I don't know how else to make you understand that you're important to me, and that includes embracing who you are as an individual. Even if you say no to anything I offer, the house, the ring, the kids, the fucking pursuit of happiness by my side…none of it matters as long as I know that you're happy with yourself." You don't realize you're crying until his thumbs wipe at your cheeks, his fingers tucking your hair behind your ears. "I love you, endlessly. I'll always be here, and I know maybe that's not what you need to hear to be comforted but I need you to know that." You sniffle slightly, "What if my mother pressures me enough that I make a rash decision? What if she manages to get to me just like she always has?" "She won't. Even if she did, I know you in ways she doesn't. I know every side of your heart, I know how kind and forgiving it can be and I know how cold and cruel it can be. I know you're strong and independent and you don't need me to ever speak up on your behalf, but if ever your voice is lost on you, I can. I have, and I will continue to do so. Your honor is mine, even if mine isn't yours."

You rest your forehead on his shoulder, wanting the conversation to end. "I forgot your gift at the house. I'm sorry." 

"That's alright. I still have yours, if you want to go sit while I get the blanket." He presses a kiss to the shell of your ear, allowing you to change the subject. "I feel bad, though." "Go sit for me." He nips at your ear, making you jolt as you shove him. He smirks as you scoff, wiping at your face carefully as you open the door and step out. You shudder as the cold hits your feet, but you hoist yourself onto the hood of your car as Chan pulls the thick blanket you brought from your apartment out of your trunk. The metal is still warm before you feel him kill the engine, the motor dying under you as he shuts the door, shoving your keys into his pocket. He drapes the blanket over your face as you feel him grab your ankle. Jolting, you push the blanket off, seeing a pair of socks clenched between his teeth as he undoes the strap of your shoe.

"Where the fuck did you find those?" You let him slide the black sock over your foot, and he shrugs. "Your cheer bag is still in the trunk. I know these are new, though, because I put them in there before we left for practice last week." He shrugs, slipping off the other shoe and putting the sock on, covering you with the blanket once more as he rounds the car to throw the shoes into the backseat. You stare at the clear sky as he slides onto the hood next to you, a soft sigh from his lips as you drape the blanket over his leg.

"I didn't ask your dad to marry you, I promise. I just talked to him about how I felt and what he thinks I should do." You hear him say softly, and you turn to see him looking at you already. Your brow raises, and he holds up a white box. It's from the jewelry store you found Rosie and Mrs. Lee in when you went to the mall, the silver logo stamped on the top. "He said I should be honest and tell you what I want, and listen to what you have to say. So, uhm…this is more for you and I than anyone else, but I…I understand if you don't want it." He pops it open, a slim gold band slotted into the cushion with a thicker one, presumably for him. The rings are studded with stones, emeralds and sapphires with smaller white diamonds scattered about. You look at him, a certain softness to your gaze that has only ever been present for him.

"A promise ring?" He shifts under your gaze, cheeks tinging pink as he sits up, sliding off the hood of the car. He paces slightly, "I know it's so…ugh, it's so high school. And we're not even together, and I'm willing to wait–" "I'm not." You interrupt, "I'm tired of waiting, Chan."

His eyes are wide as you shrug, holding your hand out for the box. "Can I see?" He hands it to you, your fingers pinching the delicate band and holding it up to your eyes. "Is this what you bought when you were fighting your mom at the register?" "It's also why your class ring went missing last month, but that's neither here nor there." He admits sheepishly, making you gape. "You took it! You little rat, I knew you had something to do with it."

"I needed it for the sizing! And I got it back! Do you…do you like it?" He asks shyly, resting his hands on either side of your legs as he leans closer to you. You nod, "I love it, it's beautiful. Good eye, I guess." "Can't you just give me a compliment without making it sound so forced?" He rolls his eyes as you replace the ring, holding the box in your hand. You shake your head, "I'll have a lifetime to do that. Do I get to put yours on for you?" "You're taking it? You're saying yes, I mean?" His eyes are wide as he scans your face, and you scoff. "Obviously? We still have a lot of growing to do, but I don't take the steps to make a decision unless I know it's the right thing to do. You know that." "Including breaking up with me on my birthday?" "Including saying yes when you ask me to be your girlfriend in about two minutes. I should make you wait, but I'm impatient." He rolls his eyes, leaning slightly closer. You smile as you nuzzle your nose against his, feeling your cheeks heat as he brushes his lips to yours. "I love you." "You're right, I do deflect a lot." He laughs, peppering kisses around your face as you scrunch your nose. "Be my girlfriend, please. I'd be nothing of a man without you." "I mean, I guess if you want me that bad–" "Respond properly or I'm taking your socks off." "Yes, I'll be your girlfriend." You roll your eyes, pressing a kiss to his lips. He kisses you back softly, his hands moving to hold your face carefully. "You know the ring means you'll also say yes to being my fiancée and then my wife, right?" He speaks against your lips, kissing you between words. "Mhm." You hum in response, before taking the thicker ring out of the box in your hand. "Let me put this on you. You can't take it off, like, ever."

"Wait, you first." He pulls away, taking the ring out of the box and sliding it into his coat pocket. He takes your hand in his carefully, "I think I'm gonna cry." "That's okay. I've seen you cry before. I've seen you throw up and I still think you're a pretty okay guy." You joke to ease him, noting the way his fingers tremble slightly as they slide the ring down your finger. It fits snugly, and he runs his thumb over it a few times before looking up at you. "Are you sure?" "Are you?" You hold up his ring, and he nods slowly. "If I'm not sure of anything else in this life, I have the comfort of knowing I'll always be sure of you." "When did you become so profound?" You tease, slipping the ring down his finger. He scoffs, "What part of you deflect and I don't did you forget? I've always been this way! You've just gotten good at ignoring me because you don't like to admit my compliments make you feel some type of way." "You just make me nervous." You confess quietly, tugging on the lapel of his coat. "You think you don't make me nervous? I can't talk to you sometimes without getting my tongue twisted."

"Your tongue does better things than talk, Chan." "I thought we were having a wholesome moment here." He flicks your forehead, your hand moving up to swat his hand away. He grabs it midair, pressing a kiss to your fingertips. "Are we still keeping this under wraps?" Your eyes widen, "Shit, are we?" "I mean…my mom knows I got these." He winces, and you click your tongue. "Your mom also told me you're a crybaby who called her and said I broke your heart."

"I may be a crybaby but at least I can tell someone when I love them." He scoffs, making you furrow your brows. "You wanna play that game? Because I have so much shit from Soonyoung and Mingyu, too." "Tell me you love me!" He whines, and you roll your eyes. "I'm your girlfriend, not your puppet. I'll tell you when I'm good and damn ready." "Great, I'm ending the year with a girlfriend that hates me." He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before sucking his teeth. "I did this to myself." "If you get me out of the cold within the next twenty seconds, I'll let you go down on me when we get home." You offer, before a shriek rips through you as he throws you over his shoulder. 

"As you wish, girlfriend."

DECEMBER 31, 9:42PM.

Chan in fact, did go down on you when you got home. Twice on your bed without even taking your dress off, and once in the shower. Your legs could barely hold you up, but that doesn't really matter when your boyfriend forgets his own strength while pinning you against the bath tile.

Christmas Day was rather uneventful aside from unwrapping gifts, with Rosie screaming excitedly about the extensive sets of Legos and Barbie dolls you and Chan got for her. Your parents gifted you and Chan a vacation to Bali, set for after your graduation, as well as a new pair of earrings. The Lees gave you a rush of nostalgia as they gave you yet another locket, this one with a picture of you and Chan as babies.

Chan watched the exchanges quietly, and the night concluded with you and him falling asleep watching a movie in your bed. His parents never did make him move to his bedroom after Mingyu and Soonyoung left, and your parents didn't mind him staying so long as you were fine with it. You still didn't fuck him, but he was perfectly content with waiting – so long as you didn't mind his tongue between your thighs in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn. You spent the next few days simply existing within your families. You got your nails done with Mrs. Lee, and took Rosie along with you. Rosie got her cast off and cried when the physician cut through your signature, tears only stopped by a scoop of chocolate almond ice cream on a waffle cone. You spent a bit of time with your mother at the restaurant, tasting a few of her new recipes and coming home to sleep in Chan's arms with a stomach ache from all the food. Per usual, Chan continued his whispered sweet nothings and you shied away from him often, only for him to pull you back into his embrace and kiss you until you couldn't breathe, followed by murmurs of I love you. 

The days were quiet, and your families were slowly growing used to having you and Chan around – something that always backfired on them, because the two of you usually left a day or two after ringing in the New Year together. It helped you beat the traffic back, and it helped you decompress from spending so much time with Chan.

Not that you'd need to do that this time…because, well. You know.

"Do I look okay?" You ask your mother for the billionth time, smoothing your hands over the front of your dress. She rolls her eyes as she sprays a bit of perfume in the middle of your back, making you flinch at the sensation. "You look lovely, darling. Please, get a grip! This is just the same people we've rung the New Year in with every year. Nothing new, nothing to be nervous about."

Your mother sprays perfume on her wrists, before dabbing them on her neck. "Go downstairs, check on Rosie. I'm going to be so upset if your father let her have anything that could stain that dress, it was too expensive to ruin." You sigh shakily, looking at yourself in the full-length mirror your mother had in her bedroom. Your dress was black and glittery, ending at your mid-thigh with an open back that left little to the imagination as it stopped just at the dip of your spine. It had straps that sat off your shoulders with a low-cut neckline, and you only wore a necklace that Chan had bought to play off the rings he'd gotten you. It sat nicely at the base of your throat, the only gift he gave you in front of your parents.

"Y/N!" Rosie called from the bottom of the stairs as you reached the first one, and you smiled down at her as you made your way down. "Babycakes! You look so pretty in your dress!"

"Thank you!" She beams up at you, holding a pink lollipop in her hand. Your father is sitting on the couch, eyes closed as you walk up behind him. "Catching up on sleep, old man?" "You know it. I love having you kids here, but I'm exhausted from all the socializing. I only have so many things to say." He sighs, and you snort. "Don't worry, just a few more days. Chan and I are leaving on the third, I think."

It's not long before your mother comes downstairs, her dress a sparkly burgundy this year. Her lipstick matches it, and your father presses a kiss to her temple as he helps her tug her coat on. Rosie is settled on your hip, her head resting on your shoulder as the four of you walk over to the Lees, and you already regret the thin coat you chose to layer over your dress. You shiver as you walk up the steps to the porch, Rosie fighting sleep as you bounce her around.

"Don't sleep, Rosie! It's just a little party!" You wiggle her around, her giggle tired as your mother knocks on the front door. Chan appears as he throws it open, ushering everyone inside. His eyes meet yours, widening at the necklace sitting on your skin. You feel your cheeks heat as you walk past him, setting Rosie down and tugging her coat off as he closes the door. You lower to her height, "Don't fall asleep, okay? You feel sleepy, come find me." You tap her cheeks, and she nods as she trails off to find your mother, who is greeting Mrs. Lee with the bottle of wine you brought over. Chan helps you stand upright, a soft smile on his face as he pulls you into a hug. "I haven't seen you since this morning. I missed you, gorgeous." He mumbles into your ear, and you roll your eyes as you weasel out of his embrace. "You always miss me. I'm literally across the lawn." You tug your scarf off, and he takes it, his hand awaiting for your coat. "What did your dad make this year?" You nod in the direction of the kitchen, the rich smell of lemongrass and garlic filling the house. He opens his mouth to respond, only for his words to get caught in his throat as you slide your coat off, his eyes landing on the expanse of your back. It's speckled with glitter, courtesy of your mother, and you swing your hair behind you as you hand him your coat.

"What? Are you okay?" Your voice is concerned as you glance at him, your hands moving to smooth the front of your dress. He blinks, before his mother's voice cuts through the air. "Y/N! Oh my, let me see your dress! Give me a spin!" She sets her wine glass down on the table, and you give her a warm hug before she spins you around. "You look stunning! Come, we have to take your picture." You give Chan a glance over your shoulder, his ears red as he snaps out of his daze, hanging your coat on the door as Mrs. Lee pulls you into the living room with your parents. She poses you all in front of her Christmas tree, before it's just you and Rosie. Rosie yawns as Mrs. Lee takes the photo, and you tell her it's best to just let the kid take a nap. "You can put her down in the guest bedroom, but can I get a picture with you and Channie first?" She nods, and you open your mouth to protest but she calls him over before you can say anything. He looks a bit bewildered as he walks over, clearing his throat as he stands next to you. You feel an awkward air floating off of him as he makes no move to touch you, and Mrs. Lee huffs. You quickly wrap his arm around your waist like you did on Christmas Eve, expecting his hand to fall in the same low spot on your hip – but you feel it ghosting over your back as you resume the same position. You don't say anything, just smiling as Mrs. Lee snaps your photo. She thanks you, turning away with the permission to drop Rosie in the guest bedroom.

"Wanna tell me what your problem is?" You mutter to Chan, who sucks his teeth. "Wanna tell me why you wore this dress?" "Oh, so I'm the problem? Good to know." You grit, before you pick Rosie up off the couch, hoisting her over your shoulder as you make your way to the guest bedroom. Chan follows closely behind you without you realizing, and is leaning in the door frame as you tuck Rosie into the bed, carefully covering her with the blanket so as to not be blamed for creases in her dress. You kiss her forehead, walking out of the bedroom only to bump into Chan, who grabs your arm and pulls you into his bedroom with a quick tug. "Bro." You're frustrated, pinching the bridge of your nose as you pull your arm out of his grasp, only for him to pull you into him by your waist. "Don't call me bro, I literally made you cum on my tongue this morning." He scoffs, his grip is bruising against your skin. "Who's the insatiable one now? Over a dress? Really?" You roll your eyes, but it seems your boyfriend has no time for your goading as he pushes you against his door, lips pressed against yours in a searing kiss. You melt into him, your arms wrapping around his neck as he slides his hands down your back. He pulls away with a nip to your lip, leaving you to pout as you chase after him. "Not just a dress, you in this fucking dress. What were you thinking?" "Wanted you to see me in it." You confess quietly, your eyes glued to his lips, now slightly stained with your red lipstick. He sighs, "Don't act cute. I can't be mad when you do that." "Don't be mad at me. Don't you think I look pretty?" Your eyes feign innocence, blinking up at him as he groans in lust-fueled frustration. "Not mad at you, baby. Never mad at you." He rests his forehead against yours, "I want you so fucking bad, it's pathetic." "Have me." You murmur, nosing at him as he shakes his head. "I can't, not right now. Certainly not in my parents' house." "Oh, but when it's my parents' house, it's fine??" You snort, making him laugh softly, brushing a kiss against your lips. "For old time's sake, I'll say yes. Keeping up with traditions and whatnot."

"They're gonna wonder where we are." You sigh, before feeling his hands travel further south. You swat them away, "If you're not gonna fuck me, you can't feel me up and leave me all needy. It's not fair." "I like it when you're needy." He kisses your jaw, and you scowl, pinching his nipple through his shirt. Of course, the rat bastard only leans into your touch, eliciting soft whine from his throat. "You're such a fucking freak!"

"You're literally the reason I'm this way. You're the blueprint." He rolls his eyes, before he turns you over, pushing your chest against the door as he presses his hips into you. Your eyes flutter shut, a soft sigh falling from your lips as he grinds against you. His fingers toy with the hem of your dress, shoving it up slightly when you hear a gasp from his lips.

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me." 

He moves away entirely, and you feel him sink to his knees behind you. He pushes your dress up, the fabric bunching around your hips to expose your bare ass. You'd forgone underwear in hopes of things going this direction tonight, but certainly not this early in the night. But by all means, you're willing to let bygones be bygones as long as Chan keeps touching you.

You can almost hear his internal battle as he pushes you forward a bit, spreading your thighs with his hands. "You're gonna kill me one day, aren't you? In cold blood. I'll be dead because you can't behave." He's fighting himself as you glance over your shoulder, a look feigning disinterest on your face as you shrug. "Take it or leave it."

He chooses to leave it, but not before sinking his teeth into your thigh, pinning your arm to your back when you reach to swat at him. "Chan!" "Shut up, they'll hear you." He rolls his eyes as he stands, using his free hand to massage the bitten area. "You can wait, right? It's only two hours." "I don't want to." You pout, pushing back against him. He lands a quick slap to the meat of your ass, your cheeks flushed as he whispers in your ear. "You're gonna have to, baby. Be a good girl for me, yeah?"

You huff, squirming against him when you feel his hand slip between your thighs. His fingertips drag slowly through your wet folds, just barely breaching your entrance when he pulls them away. "Open your mouth."

You turn to see him licking his fingers clean, your heart beating wildly in your chest as he repeats himself. "Open. Don't make me do it for you."

"Kiss me first." He does as you ask, tugging the fabric of your dress back down as he snakes his tongue into your mouth. Your hands fist at the lapels of his suit jacket, whining into his mouth before he pulls away. Your lips jut out in a pout, a soft chuckle from Chan before he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "Open up." You do as you're told, sticking your tongue out for him to spit onto. Your eyes flutter shut the moment you feel it, his hand on your jaw pulling you forward to kiss him. Your legs feel like jelly at his touch, feeling him mumble those three little words against your lips.

"I love you. Don't act up and I won't, either." He holds his pinky out, and you reluctantly link yours with it. He wipes the corners of your lips, "Go. I have to…calm down."

"Tell me you love me again." You look up at him, making him roll his eyes as he bites back a smile. "If I tell you again, will you get out?" "Maybe." You smile back, making him physically turn you, his hands on your shoulders as you turn the doorknob to his room. "I love you, baby. Now, go." You slink out of his bedroom, shutting the door behind you as you slip into the bathroom. Your skin feels hot as you look in the mirror, your lipstick only slightly smudged – a blessing, truly. You pat your fingers over your swollen lips, before checking the hem of your dress. You tug it lower, making sure it covers everything before ruffling your hair and taking a deep breath.

Two hours. Easy.

Not easy.

It's been an hour and forty-five minutes, and you can feel your patience wearing thin as Chan acts like nothing happened.

He's standing across the room, talking to your mother with a soft smile on his face – just like he has been for the last thirty minutes. His wine is the same color as her dress, listening to her drone on and on about the benefits of turmeric in cooking as well as body products. Your cheek is resting on the heel of your palm, your other hand holding your second flute of champagne as you stare at your boyfriend without a care in the world – when you see a little head start floating your way, a frumpled blue dress catching your eye.

"Y/N?" She calls tiredly, rubbing her eyes as she looks around for you. "Babycakes! I'm over here, come sit with me!" You pat your lap, setting your champagne on the table as she makes her way over to you. She climbs into your lap and you smooth her hair down as she rests her head on your shoulder.

"How was your nap? Any good dreams?" You ask, twirling a piece of her hair in your fingers. She shakes her head, "No dreams. Just sleep." She shrugs, yawning as she buries her face into your neck. You wrap your arms around her, rocking back and forth and humming quietly.

It's not even five minutes when she falls limp with sleep in your arms, and you rest your cheek atop her head as Mrs. Lee makes way to you, her silver dress stunning as she extends her hands. "Do me a favor, honey. Go steal Chan from your mother, we're going to start the countdown soon and I'm sure you want to spend a few moments with him.” Her eyes twinkle like she knows something, taking Rosie from your lap. You nod sheepishly, standing up and tugging your dress down slightly. You grab your flute of champagne, smiling inwardly as you make your way across the living room to Chan's side. You squeeze your mother's shoulder lightly to get her attention, her voice stopping in the middle of a rosemary and thyme soap recipe she's reciting. "Yes, darling?" "Rosie's up. Might wanna check on her, I can't gauge if she'll sleep tonight." You wince, and your mother nods, putting her wine glass down on the coffee table. She walks away, your father joining her in the kitchen when you feel Chan's hand on your lower back. "Hey." He pulls you into his side, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin. You try not to lean into the touch, a soft smile on your lips. "Hey. Tired?" "Exhausted, actually. I do not want to be here right now." He sighs, and you open your mouth to reply when you see Mr. Lee turn the television on to the New Year's Eve countdown from the Lotte World Tower. You smile to yourself as Chan shuffles you both behind the couch, his hand keeping skin-on-skin contact the entire time. You miss the glance your father gives you as you lean your head on Chan's shoulder, the way Chan's fingers run up and down your side.

You miss the way your mother joins him in looking at the two of you, the way Chan's looks at you adoringly. The way your arm wraps around his waist, and your fingers trace circles into his side, the glint of the ring he gave you mocking her in the light. Your mother gives your father a look, one that screams is that what I think it is? Your father only shrugs, draping his own arm around her shoulders and making her face the television. The reporter is excitedly moving around the prepared stage, talking a mile a minute about all the musical achievements by artists in a rapid fire attempt to fill the last two minutes to the countdown. Mrs. Lee slots her fingers with her husband, and you find yourself finding Rosie's sleepy eyes on your father's shoulder. She smiles, giving you a thumbs up and you scrunch your nose at her, giving one back. She points at Chan, and you tap him to get his attention for her. He looks up, meeting her eyes and receiving the same reaction. He gives her one back, and she closes her eyes, turning the other way.

"She's adorable." He murmurs as you look up at him, "She is." The reporter smiles widely as the large number 10 splays on the television. Your parents break into chatter, Chan's parents drifting over to yours slowly. You tug at Chan's sleeve, earning a hum as he looks at you once more.

"Do you ever think about what our kids will look like?" You whisper, and he nods. "Sometimes." 9…

"Do you have names?" "A few."

8…

"Do you think about our wedding?" "All the time. I'm going to cry like a fucking baby." 7…

"How do you feel about a summer wedding?" "Whatever you want, baby. I'd get married in the woods if you wanted." 6…

"Like in Breaking Dawn?" "That wedding was beautiful. I cried, remember?" 5…

"I do. You cry a lot, you know?" "Emotional vulnerability is sexy, is it not?"

4…

"You think so?" "I know so." 3…

"Hey, Chan?" "Yes, Y/N?" 2…

"Are you gonna kiss me?" "Yeah, babe. I'm gonna kiss you." 1…

"I love you." You mumble, pressing your lips to his as the reporter boasts a Happy New Year from Lotte World Tower!

His hand is low on your back as he kisses you deeply, your own holding his cheek as your parents cheer and congratulate each other. You hear a soft voice above it all, "Channie and Y/N are kissing."

You pull back from Chan to see your parents gaping at you, and Rosie smiling before she lays her cheek back on your father's shoulder. "I told you they were boyfriend and girlfriend. You owe me fifty bucks, Mommy."

You gawk at her, Chan coughing awkwardly as your mother covers her face. "You bet on us?" "I assume the two of you managed to talk things out." Your father's voice is level, a warm smile on his face as Chan clears his throat. "Yes, sir." "And everything is okay…now?" Mr. Lee chimes in, your face growing warm as you nod, "Yes, sir." "And you're…together? Officially?" Mrs. Lee asks calmly, a grin fighting its way onto her lips as you and Chan flush embarrassedly. "Yes." You say in unison, and Mrs. Lee smiles from ear to ear, holding her hand out to your mother.

"You owe me a hundred bucks." "Wanna take a drive? I don't want to see money exchange hands." Chan scoffs, and the parents start arguing within themselves – mostly your mother defending herself and your father rolling his eyes as he fishes his wallet out, eager to pay your mother's debts.

"We're outta here." You announce, grabbing your coat off the rack. Your father gives you a nod, "We'll be here a while, it seems. Be safe, honey."

You nod, placing a kiss on Rosie's head before you leave. "Thanks, babycakes." "You're welcome, sissy." She smiles tiredly, closing her eyes as you ruffle her hair. You slip out, Chan closing the door behind you as you tug your coat on. "We're not actually going on a drive, you know that, right?" His gaze is pointed, and you roll your eyes as you pull him off his porch, the cold winter air nothing in comparison to the heat on your skin as you fumble for your keys. He keeps his hands off you as you both make your way to your house, your fingers trembling in excitement as you stick the key in the lock and turn it. You push the door open carefully, and he slides in behind you, shutting it with his foot and locking it behind him.

You peel your coat off, handing it to him to hang on the rack by the door. He's oddly quiet as he does the same, before silently taking your hand and leading you to your bedroom. He lets you walk in first, locking the door behind him as you step out of your heels.

You feel his hands on your bare waist, pulling your back to him as he presses a soft kiss to your shoulder. You close your eyes, feeling his lips trail up your shoulder, before his teeth tug on the necklace he gave you. "Can we keep this on?" "Yeah."

He hums softly, pressing a kiss behind your ear. His hands move to your arms, "Can we take this off? Is that okay?" You nod silently, letting him slip the straps of your dress down your arms, the fabric pooling around your hips as he sighs, keeping his hands on your sides as he trails open-mouthed kisses down your spine, breathing you in like you're the only oxygen he knows. His teeth tug at the hem of your dress, pulling it over the swell of your ass with ease. The flimsy fabric falls to your feet, his teeth nipping at your hip before you feel him stand, his hands on your waist turning you around.

"I love you." He presses his forehead to yours, eyes closed as yours open. You look at him in the moonlight, every eyelash, every tired line, everything that is the Lee Chan you love illuminated before you. Your hands move to his shirt, "Is this where I say it, too?" Your comment makes him smile inwardly, "If you'd like. I heard you, when you kissed me. You don't have to, I know you do." You feel so vulnerable under him like this, but you know him. You know he's just as vulnerable as you are, your fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt and untucking it from his belt. Your voice feels lost, but you clear your throat as you push his shirt down over his shoulders, revealing toned arms and the same muscular chest you loved to lay your head upon on sleepless nights.

"I love you, endlessly." You say softly, your eyes flickering up to meet his gaze. He nods silently, pressing a kiss to your forehead as your hands move to his belt, carefully tugging the leather strap from the silver buckle. You pull it through the loops, letting it fall to the ground as Chan's hands come to your face, his thumbs stroking your cheeks gently as your hands unbutton his slacks, carefully tugging the zipper down as you brush a kiss to his jaw. 

He stops you from pushing his pants down, his lips finding yours with a gentle insanity one can only describe as love. He swipes your hair back over your shoulders as he lets your hands rest on his waist, his lips pouring every single word into your mouth with a passion you'd only ever felt with him. This is the kiss you missed for three years, the soft grip of his hand in your hair as he guides his tongue against yours fluidly. This is the man you longed for unknowingly for your entire life, so loving and soft and sensual as he sucks on your tongue with a quiet moan. 

This is the love you'd patiently waited to return to you, the way you felt the cool metal of his matching ring against the warm skin of your thigh as he picked you up effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist as your arms draped over his shoulders. This is the love you'd wantonly waited for, the way he eased you onto your bed, not letting you untangle yourself from him as he continued to kiss you so agonizingly slow, you could feel your arousal slightly soak into the waistband of his slacks. 

This is the love you'd yearned for, where he remembers every single one of your buttons. How he doesn't stop kissing you because he knows you love the feeling of his lips against yours, the way his hand only slides from your thigh to your dripping core because he knows you hate when he's not touching you constantly. How he steadies himself above you by pinning one hand above your head, interlacing your fingers as his other hand spreads your thighs for him.

"I love you." He whispers against your lips, not giving you a chance to respond as he carefully glides two of his fingers through your slick folds, earning a shiver as he traces your clit slowly. You mewl in his ear, his skin prickling with goosebumps at how wet you are for him. He presses a kiss to your jaw, "My gorgeous girl. So perfect for me." You bite back a whimper as his hand lands a rather wet slap to your clit, your body jolting into his as he chuckles. "Still like that?" He does it again, your thighs flinching around his hips as a broken moan leaves you.

He kisses your lips, swallowing any sounds you could've let out as he stops teasing you, his fingers carefully curling into your entrance. You shudder against him, a high-pitched whine from you making him laugh against your mouth. "Feel good, baby?" His thumb circles your clit as his fingers scissor you open, the pads of his digits brushing that spongy spot inside you that makes your breathing shaky. Your walls are impossibly tight around his fingers and it makes him dizzy, feeling you clench around his hand every time he reaches that spot he knows can make you cum within minutes. "Faster, please…" You run your hand through his hair, pulling him back down to your lips. He kisses you messily, bullying his fingers into you faster and feeling you pant yes, just like that softly against his lips. "Just like that? Like it fast, baby?" He mocks you, loving the way you nod dumbly. "Love it, love you, Channie.." Your eyes are teary as he brings you to the edge, his stomach fluttering at your soft whines. You made him feel like he was on fire, overstimulating his every sense with your whimpered begging for more as he nipped at your chest, his tongue swirling around your nipple as he mimics you, "Yeah, love me? How much, princess?"

"So m-much, think about you all day. Want you all the time, f-fuck…" Your thighs tighten around his hips, "Want me all the time? You're so cute. So needy for me, huh?"

You can only nod, tears collecting at the corners of your eyes as your nails dig into his shoulder, a tell-tale sign you're going to cum if he keeps going. He pulls a guttural moan from you, his favorite of them all as you coat his hand and wrist with your orgasm. "That's it, baby. Let go for me." He works you through it, your thighs trembling just like the first night the two of you slept together, your moans becoming nothing but soft whines against his lips.

"S'too much, too much.." You push his hand away with a whimper, your eyes barely open as you watch him lick his fingers clean like he did earlier. You shift under him, blinking your eyes as wide as you can, watching the way his tongue slid between his fingers. "See something you like?" He purrs against your lips, his wet fingers flicking your lower lip as you nod your head.

"You." Your voice is soft, and you see his eyes soften slightly as he smiles shyly. You wrap your legs around him, running a hand through his hair again, tugging slightly. "Want you." "You have me, baby." He kisses you chastely, relishing in the way you chase after his lips, huffing. "Kiss me like you mean it." You pull him closer, nipping at his lower lip with your teeth as he connects your mouths. The kiss is wet and messy, and you can feel him rolling his hips into you, the tip of his clothed cock rutting against your clit deliciously. But, you want it off.

"Take your pants off. Wanna feel you." You bite at his lips, and he moans, rutting against you like he can't stop. You whimper, your hips moving in tandem with his as you reach down and snap his waistband against his skin. "Fuck." Chan breathes against your jaw, shoving his pants and underwear down with one hand before he lets go of your hand, pulling them off fully with a hiss. He moves back up to kiss you, your nails digging into his back as you hold him close, your legs tight around his hips as he grinds his heavy cock against your wet heat. You're messy but that's how he likes it – your thighs twitch with overstimulation as he ruts his cock against you, leaning up to watch the way he leaks beads of precum onto your skin. "So fucking pretty." His thumb finds your clit, smirking at the way your thighs close slightly.

"So wet, too. Messy, messy girl." He grunts in your ear, "Can I put it in? Can you take it?"

"Please." You breathe out, making him meet your eyes. "Please what, baby?"

You scoff at his teasing smile, but you don't miss the adoration in his eyes as he plants a kiss to your lips. "Use your words."

You don't respond as you pout slightly, his lips brushing against yours. Your eyes are shy as he tries to find your gaze, a hiss from behind his teeth as your fingers reach between you to wrap around his shaft, his hands fisting the sheets around your head as you align him with your entrance.

"Please? Want you." Your eyes are wide and watery, too much for him to handle. 

He caves, moving your hand out of the way to sink into you –  his tip barely breaching your walls when you hear a whimper from Chan, his eyes glued to your glistening folds. Your head falls back with a groan as he slides in deeper, a whispered chant of fuck, fuck, fuck from his lips as you clench around him. You whine, digging your nails into his bicep as you push his hips down the rest of the way with your legs, hearing him groan at the way you swallow him perfectly.

"D-Don't, don't move. Just…wait." Your eyes are screwed shut, Chan's running all over your body. A singular bead of sweat runs down your neck, his fingers instinctively reaching to wipe it. You lean into his touch, your eyes still closed as you take his hand in yours, kissing his fingertips. "I love you." "I love you too, baby." He murmurs, and you shake your head as you lean your forehead to his, holding his hand to your chest. Your heart is beating a mile a minute, "This is how I feel every time I see you. There has never been a minute of my life that I haven't been so pathetically in love with you." He doesn't respond, his eyes glazed with unshed tears as yours open. You blink at him silently, your arms moving to wrap around his neck as you press a kiss to his nose, then his cheeks. "Obsessed with you." You mumble against his skin, feeling his hands wrap around your thighs with a shaky breath. "Missed you, my baby." Your admission is followed by a kiss to his lips, Chan's eyes fluttering shut as you drag your lips down his jaw. "I missed you, my love." He whispers in your ear, the pet name one he only used during your relationship. His teeth graze on your earlobe, before he plants a kiss on your neck as you run your fingers through his hair, pulling him to your lips. You slot your lips with his carefully, swallowing a whimper as you feel his hands push your thighs apart more. 

"Ready? Want me to go slow?" His voice is shaky, making you run a hand through his hair. "Whatever you want, baby."

He nods, giving an experimental roll of his hips – his chest swelling with pride as your eyes roll back with a soft groan. You let him set the pace, the delicious drag of his cock making your hands fist the sheets as your head falls back against the mattress. His fingers are bruising around your thighs, his eyes glued to your face, biting back his moans as you whine pathetically.

"Feel good?" He murmurs as he thrusts into you a little harder, before letting go of your thighs and pinning your hand above your head, interlacing your fingers. Your eyes are closed and you can barely feel your head nodding as your limbs buzz with lust, a moan meeting his neck as you mouth at it. "Need words, baby." He leans to nip at your lips, feeling your other hand tug at his hair. "Feels s'good, daddy, fuck.." Your voice is no higher than a whisper, and Chan swears his brain short-circuits as he buries his face in your neck. He feels dizzy as he breathes in your perfume, hearing you whimper as he bullies his cock into you faster. 

“So. Fucking. Wet.” He groans, his teeth biting at any surface of your skin as he grips your hips bruisingly. "Missed you so much, baby. W-Wanna fill you up, shit. Make you mine f-forever." His ramblings are only slightly incoherent, your cheeks warming as if you're not both naked right now, the only thing remaining is your jewelry – all of which he's given you.

"Y-Yeah? Want it, want you to fill me up..." You rasp, tightening your legs around his waist as he whimpers loudly. Your fingers rake through his hair, pulling his head away from your neck and meeting his eyes. They're full of a certain craze you've only ever seen during your relationship, a dark look of lust that swirls from the depths of the brown in his irises that makes you shiver as you press your lips to his. It's messy and rough, his hand circling the base of your neck to steady himself. Your own wrap around his wrist, sliding your tongue into his mouth with practised ease. 

He sucks on your tongue messily, whining as you clamp down around him. You feel his hand loosen around your neck, sliding up to cup your face softly, your own moving to his back. Your nails dig into his shoulder as he thrusts into you, the tip of his cock brushing you just right that you moan into his mouth.

"Right there? There?" He pulls back, pistoning his hips into you as you nod frantically, your eyes filling with tears as your nails drag down his back. He tries not to close his eyes at the sensation, loving the way you bite down on your lip when his thumb pulls it out from under your teeth. "Wanna hear you, baby. Wanna know who's making you feel good." 

You can hardly speak through your whines, his vision going blurry as your nails dig into his hips. His lips find the shell of your ear, "Come on, baby. Tell daddy who's making you this wet." Your cheeks heat as you whimper into his skin, your lower lip dragging against his sweatslick cheek. You tug at the small silver hoop in his ear, "Y-You are. Always m-make me feel s'good, daddy. W-Wanna cum for you..." You trail off as his teeth nip at your neck, your voice reduced to breathy whines as he bites down on your chest. His tongue quickly licks over the indents of his teeth, as his hands move to your thighs, pushing them apart as he towers over you. Your eyes open only enough to see the wad of spit drip from his lips, your hips jolting as it slides down your clit. 

"Don't need it. Just like seeing you squirm, baby." He murmurs, pushing your knees to your chest as he continues to fuck into you. Your eyes fall on the ruddy blush on his cheeks, his own glued to the way your cunt swallows him perfectly. His fingers tighten around your legs, his lip tucked under his teeth as he screws his eyes shut, but you can't stop looking at him. The slope of his neck, littered with nips from your teeth that'll disappear by morning. His broad shoulders, slick with sweat and covered in deep, red marks from your nails. His chest, littered with faded love bites from the past few mornings waking up by his side. His forearms, flexing with every push of his hips, similar to the way they do when he holds you up against the shower wall. The sheen of your arousal on his fingers, the gold ring on his left hand that matches yours covered in a mix of spit and your cum. It's overwhelming, the way your insides feel fuzzy and the way your vision zeroes in on his ring, the glint in the moonlight mocking you.

"I can't wait to marry you." You mumble, covering your face with your arms as Chan jerks to a stop. You can still see him through a crevice in your arms, and you watch the way he swallows carefully. "W-What?" "I said, I can't wait to marry you." You repeat slightly louder, your eyes widening as you feel him twitch inside you. He scoffs quietly, "Babe, you can't say that." His eyes close, and you hear him take a deep breath as you sit up on your elbows.

"Why? I want to marry you." You huff, your mouth opening to say more when a sudden thrust from Chan's hips knocks the wind out of you. His whimper fills the room as he spreads your thighs out of habit, "I w-won't last if you say t-that." 

You can barely speak with the way he's drilling his cock into you, his thumb working tight circles into your clit as your head falls back against the sheets with pleasure. You manage to string your words together, your stomach filling with that familiar heat as you speak, "W-We have the rest of o-our lives, b-baby…" He whines loudly as his hips are flush to yours, shuddering slightly as he fills you with his release. He has a pout on his lips as he overstimulates himself through his orgasm, leaning into your soft whines, brushing his lips against yours. "I love you." He whispers as you clench around him, the band in your lower belly snapping as you whine pitifully as his hand slides in yours.

The air around you settles, Chan reaching to brush your hair out of your eyes and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I love you, baby." You nod loosely, a mumble of I love you tumbling against his clavicle. You feel him pull out slowly, a hiss from the both of you filling the silence. Wincing lightly, you go to sit up but his hand on your chest stops you. "Lie down." You don't question him as he slides one of your pillows under your head – but your brows are furrowed as he kisses down your body, sinking to his knees as he reaches the edge of your bed. You sit up slightly, "Chan, are you–" He doesn't reply, looking you in the eyes as he flattens his tongue against your sloppy cunt. Your eyes widen as he looks away, his arms wrapping around your thighs carefully. You're far too sensitive for this, but you can't seem to look away as he sucks your clit between his pouty lips. "You're fucking f-filthy, Lee Chan." "Open your mouth." He shrugs as he speaks into your skin, and you scoff out a laugh. He raises a brow as he looks up at you, making your cheeks flush. You sit up on your elbows, his arms pulling you closer to his face before fucking the wet muscle of his tongue into your spent hole. Your gasp is almost unnoticeable, your eyes starry as you watch him collect the mix of your releases in his mouth.

Your thighs tremble in his hands, your mind fuzzy with overstimulation as you whine softly. He pulls away, rising off his knees and sliding his thigh between yours as his hand finds your cheek. You instinctively open your mouth as he looks into your eyes, his thumb pulling at your lower lip as he spits his release onto your tongue. Your eyes flutter shut at the taste, feeling him snake his tongue into your mouth in a wet kiss. He pushes you back against the pillow slowly, his hand moving from your cheek to interlace your fingers as his lips trail down your jaw.

"I think your parents are home." He murmurs, and you try your best to zero in on any sounds that could allude to such. He nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, "Do you want to stop?"

You don't respond, hearing the jingle of the doorknob as Chan tugs on your earlobe with his teeth. You cover your mouth as a breathy moan slips out, feeling Chan smile against your skin. "We can stop, baby." You shake your head frantically as you hear your mother sigh and the creak of the stairs under their footsteps. Your father's footsteps are heavy behind your mother's light ones, and you hear the door to their bedroom open, the hinges desperately in need of an oiling. It closes, and you breathe out carefully.

"I have so many questions but I can ask them later. Can you go again?" You mutter, feeling him scoff against your skin. "Is that how you're going to ask me?" "I can always just ride you until you cry like I did in the back of your car three years ago." You huff, feeling Chan pinch your hip. "Can you even hold yourself up?" He smirks down at you, making you furrow your brows.

"Watch me." "I intend to."

JANUARY 1, 5:44AM.

The only reason you and Chan stop is because he's made you soak through your sheets twice, the edge of your bed sopping wet as he carefully carries you into the bathroom. How he's even able to stand up is beyond you, your legs loosely wrapped around his bare waist as he leans to turn the water on in your shower.

You wince as he sets you down on the edge of the tub, his fingers expertly releasing the clasp on your necklace and draping it on your bathroom counter. "Don't want it to snag in your hair." He murmurs as he helps you back up, your legs hardly functioning as he makes you step into the tub. The hot water feels great against your hips, your lips parting against Chan's chest in a soft groan as he holds you to him. He laughs softly, and you feel the pads of his fingers digging into the sore muscles. "I'm sorry, baby. Maybe that last position was too much, hm?" "Fuck all the way off." You mutter, resting your cheek on his chest as he coos at you. "How's that for three ways to Sunday?" "Great. It was great, wonderful. If fucking someone three ways to Sunday was an Olympic sport, you'd win gold every time." You confess quietly, your eyes barely open as you hear him pop the cap of your shampoo. "You know, you talk a lot when we have sex." "Mmh, do I? What did I say?" You feel his fingers card through your hair, making him snicker. "For one, I think you're the one with the daddy thing. You said it more than once and I'm honestly a little impressed with your commitment to the bit…if it is a bit." "Shut up. Wash my hair like a good boyfriend." Your cheeks grow hot as he laughs, leaning down to press a kiss to your hairline. "You also asked me when I'd marry you, and that you'd marry me tonight if you could." "When?" Your head snaps up to look at him, and he shrugs, a teasing smile on his lips. "If I recall correctly, you were face down–" "Enough." You turn away, pressing your forehead to his chest once more. "You're not supposed to make fun of me, I was vulnerable." "M'not making fun of you, baby. I'm absolutely enamored with you, I'd also marry you tonight if you'd allow it." He shrugs as he tilts your head back to rinse your hair, and you pout up at him. "I have a question." "Shoot." He feels your hands trace his torso, before you flick his hip. "What is this?" He looks down, the faded tattoo you'd been wondering about peeking through your fingers. He sighs, "It's a tattoo, babe. What else would it be?"

"Well for one, it's shitty. Second of all, of what?" You run your thumb over his skin, making him snort. "It is shitty, because I was drunk and I got it done with Soonyoung and Mingyu at their friend Seungcheol's apartment. It's also shitty because Seungcheol wanted someone to practice his fine line technique on and I was so wasted that I volunteered." "You've never been that reckless unless you're with me. Where was I? And what is it!?" You insist, and he snorts as he pours your body wash on your loofah. "It's your name. I kept saying it because I always think of you when I'm drunk and Seungcheol assumed it was what I wanted. It was actually very pretty when it was new, it's just faded now. There's a little red splotch somewhere, it was a heart."

He nods as you gape at him, "My name?" "It was two years ago. I was actually going to call you before Soonyoung threw my phone in the pool and told me I didn't deserve to call you if I wasn't going to beg for you back. I was always willing, I was just scared you'd reject me because of how much of a douche I'd been." "How'd you explain this to your hookups?" You blurt, and he smiles. "I didn't. They always knew. I don't know if you want me to talk about that, though. Your feelings are important to me and I was so shitty to you then." "You're a dumbass, both for not just talking to me and for getting this done at someone's apartment. You should get it redone at an actual parlor, I heard Hansol does tattoos now." You trace the faded ink, and he snorts. "I'd bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? Just branding me like that."

You don't say anything as he runs the sponge over your body, your eyes pointed as he scoffs. "But I'm the freak." "I counted thirty six positions, you are the freak. God forbid I want a little something to kiss before I go down on you." You roll your eyes, and you hear him choke as he pushes you back slightly under the water. "Careful, you'll sound like me if you keep that up." "Oh my God, I fucking asked you if I was too rough! You insisted I keep going!" He whines, landing a soft smack to your thigh as he washes your legs. You snicker, holding onto his shoulders, looking down at the red lines you'd inflicted. "Oh, your back is gonna hurt, babe." "Well worth it, in my opinion. I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind yesterday." He sighs as he stands upright, your arms wrapping around his waist as he presses a kiss to your hairline. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get my shit together, my love." "You know you've never called me that outside of those two months we were together?" You murmur, and he nods. "Mmh. Can't call you something you aren't, can I? I mean, you'll always be the love of my life but you weren't exactly mine and I didn't deserve you then, anyway." "And you do now?" You ask softly, and he shakes his head as he switches you out to stand under the showerhead, wincing as the hot water hits his back. "No. I'm always going to be undeserving of you, especially after the shit I pulled. But I have no problem spending my lifetime proving that I love you."

You don't reply, holding onto him silently as he cleanses himself. Your eyes linger on the flexing of his muscles, the way his face twitches as your body wash stings the aftermath of your nails digging into his back. "I'll be nicer next time." You assure him as he rolls his eyes, a mumble of no you won't from his lips as he presses a kiss to your hairline.

The sun is beginning to peek into your bedroom by the time you and Chan exit, and you sit in your bathrobe as Chan strips your sheets. He makes your bed in silence, hiding his yawns with shakes of his head and fishing through your drawers for his old clothes. He finds a pair of sweatpants and an old cheer shirt of his, tugging them on before easing your tired form into your own pajamas. You nearly trip as he slides your shorts up your legs, his fingers cheekily pinching the swell of your ass as you swat at him.

"Unlock the door." You remind him as he slides you under the fresh blankets, and he nods, his breath minty from your toothpaste as he presses a kiss to your nose. He unlocks it quietly, checking the time on his phone before sliding in next to you. "What time is it?" "Almost seven. Rosie's gonna barge in here." He mumbles as you settle on top of him, your head on his chest as his hand slips under your shirt with a sigh. "I love you." "I love you, Channie." You murmur into his shirt, your eyes heavy as he pulls you impossibly closer, planting a kiss on your cheek without a word.

3:41PM.

You're the first to wake up, feeling like a train hit you as your muscles take in the absolute marathon you put yourself through with Chan the night before. You grimace as your back pops, stretching carefully so as to not wake up your boyfriend – who is curled into your chest, his arm hanging off your hip. Biting back your smile, you carefully run your fingers through his hair before sighing inwardly. 

Sitting up slowly, you see something on your dresser. It's a framed photo, and a Polaroid tucked into the corner of the frame. You squint at it, unable to make out the shapes without rubbing at your eyes. Chan stirs next to you, a pout on his lips as he peels his eyes open. "Lay down, I'm cold."

"Hang on." You slide out of bed, wincing as you stand up. Your eyes land on the photo once more as you stand in front of your dresser, and it's you and Chan in a gold frame. It's the night of the Christmas Eve dinner, and it's slightly blurry but you can see the way you're smiling up at Chan shyly, and the way his eyes are starry as he looks down at you. It's the photo Rosie took, the one she didn't let you look at.

The Polaroid is also of you and Chan, in your bed with the same clothes you have on now. They must've walked in in the morning when neither of you responded, because you're both sound asleep in the photo. He's holding you close, and your arms are wrapped around his shoulders, your promise ring glinting against his neck in the flash of the camera. Your foreheads are pressed together, cheeks flushed in the soft morning light.

The note sits under the frame, and you look closer at the frame. Between You and Me, it reads, and you feel your cheeks heat as you slip the note out.

We've been trying to teach Rosie how to be careful with her money, because your mother started giving her an allowance a few weeks ago. She wanted to get you a Christmas gift but didn't know what you liked, and instead of asking…she took your camera from when you were a little girl and snapped a photo of you and Chan at Christmas Eve dinner. She told me when we were getting the photos developed that she thought Chan was really important to you, and that she knew she was, too – so it was like a win-win situation, to give you a gift of the things you cherish the most.

She's pretty good at making something out of nothing, and she begged me to take her to that old thrift store you loved in high school. She found this frame near the old book section that you walked through a lot, too. So profound for a child, but I digress. The Polaroid is from me, consider it an apology for allowing your mother to make such insane bets when we all knew that the two of you were bound to fall in love. P.S. Rosie's pretty good at capturing beautiful moments. Do you think she'd make a good wedding photographer? ♡

– Dad.

Your vision is blurry as you feel the heat of Chan's body behind you, his fingers carefully picking the frame up and looking at it. "You're so in love with me." He murmurs, and you half expect to look up and see him smiling – but his face is serious, his thumb ghosting over your face in the photo. You swallow nervously as he stares at the photo, clearing your throat.

"I am. Is that…okay?" You whisper, and he nods silently, closing his eyes as he sets the photo down. "We're taking that home, right? We can't leave it here. I want to see it everyday." He's not looking at you, holding the Polaroid gingerly in his hand. You watch as he sets it back down, his fingers plucking the note from your hand, leaning against the dresser as he reads it. He's blinking back tears and you feel your chest warm as he sighs, running his hand over his face. "We need to get Rosie that Lego set your dad said no to. The really big one, what was it?" "Rosie has never even seen Titanic. She just wants it because she thinks the boat is cool, and my dad said no because it's seven hundred dollars." You snort, and he shakes his head. "Don't care. She needs it. I need to buy it, where are your keys?" 

"We'll take my dad's, I don't feel like moving her booster seat." 

You smile to yourself as your boyfriend hands you a pair of jeans to slide on as he roots around for his socks, and you quietly slip out of your bedroom after tugging them on. You see your parents sitting around your dining room table, a few drinks and a deck of cards spread out between the four of them. Rosie sits quietly in Mrs. Lee's lap as Mrs. Lee explains the game, and you clear your throat. "Good afternoon." You say softly, and the parents turn their heads to look at you. They're smiling, and Rosie lights up, wiggling out of Mrs. Lee's lap and running towards you. "Did you like my present!? I made it for you!" "I know, babycakes. I loved your present." You pick her up, holding her on your hip as she moves your hair out of your face. You turn to your father, who has a knowing look on his face. "You mind if I take her for a bit? Chan wants to buy her something." "No sugar. She got a filling this morning." Your mother murmurs over her cards, taking a sip of her drink as she nods. Rosie huffs in your grasp, about to protest when Chan appears behind you. "Hey. Ready?" 

His cheeks are ruddy as he greets your parents, and none of them say a word as you tug on your boots as he makes Rosie fetch her coat. She's nearly bouncing off the stairs as she runs back down, and Chan helps her put it on as she eagerly asks what she's getting and why she's getting it.

"Titanic." Chan shrugs, and your father nearly spits out his drink as you shove the two of them out of the door, grabbing his car keys off the hook. "Y/N! Don't buy her that, it's too expensive!" "Can't hear you, Pop! See ya!" You grin cheekily, slipping out the front door and seeing Chan and Rosie giggling as he buckles her into her seat. Your heart warms at the sight, and you make eye contact with Chan as he shuts the door. He smiles, tilting his head towards the passenger side door as he opens it for you. You climb in silently, his eyes watching your every move. "You okay?" "I love you."

EPILOGUE – JANUARY 7, 5:30AM.

"Do you have to go?" You'd already stayed four more days than you'd originally planned, and you were really cutting it close by driving back on a Sunday. Rosie's eyes are tired and pleading as you hold her on your hip, Chan struggling to shove the last bag into your trunk as you snicker. "We do, babycakes. But don't worry! I'll come home with Channie in April for your birthday! Isn't that fun?" "I guess." She pouts, resting her head on your shoulder. "Will you call me everyday?" "Yes, I'll call you everyday." You nuzzle your nose to hers as Chan huffs, slamming your trunk shut. "Babe, someday you're going to have to pack this car and you'll understand why I sleep on the way back to campus." He's red in the face as your mother ventures outside to retrieve your little sister, Mrs. Lee in tow with a bag full of goodies for the trip back to campus. You smile softly at your mother as she takes your now crying sister, your heart aching as you wipe her tears.

"Don't cry, Rosie. We'll be back soon, I promise." Chan nods, holding his pinky out for your little sister to take. She sobs into your mother's parka as she does so, and your mother gives you a warm smile. "You guys take care of each other, okay? No more breaking up!" "No more breaking up." You both repeat, your cheeks flushing as Mrs. Lee gives you both a hug goodbye. Your father appears, holding up two tumblers full of hot chocolate and Mr. Lee hands Chan an envelope. "Pocket money. Don't let Y/N starve on the way home, she told us you only fed her beef jerky." "I did not!" He begins to protest, but you clap your hand over his mouth with a wide smile. "Thank you, Mr. Lee. I appreciate you worrying about my appetite." The goodbyes are not nearly as sappy as they usually are, but you know it's because they're looking forward to graduation. It will approach fast, you know you'll lose yourself in the excitement of it all and best of all, Chan will be right there with you. You're in the car waving to Rosie until you turn the corner, before your shoulders sag against your seat. You pout, making Chan smile as he reaches to pinch your cheek.

"Rosie will be okay, baby." "I know, I know. I just wish I was around more to see her grow up. She won't think I'm as cool by the time I'm finally around to hang out and stuff." "Babe, she's seven this year. She's gonna think you're cool." He rolls his eyes as he stops at a red light, connecting his phone to the aux and handing it to you. You sigh, unlocking his phone to see a photo of you and Rosie at the Lego store on New Year's Day as his home screen, paired with the same sentimental baby picture that rested in your locket as his lock screen – that one never changed. You say nothing as your cheeks warm, opening his Spotify and pressing shuffle as he turns left to take the exit to get onto the expressway.

You both tense as you hear the beginning notes of Meddle About by Chase Atlantic. He gives you a sideways glance as the lyrics start pouring through, and you clear your throat quietly.

"There's an exit…up ahead. It leads–" "Into the woods, yeah. I'm just gonna–" "Yeah. Should I-" "Start taking your coat off, mhm." "Got it. Are you gonna–" "Yup. Didn't bring any condoms with me." Your cheeks flush as you queue the same stupid sex playlist you made three years ago as he silently takes the exit before the one for the expressway, tonguing his cheek as he drives into the still-dark solace of the woods. You have your shirt off by the time he finds the same spot you found three years ago, and by the time he kills the engine, you're in the backseat.

"Hey, Chan?" The opening notes of Kiss It Better by Rihanna fill the car as he all but rips his coat off.

"Yes, Y/N?" "I love you." He smiles, kissing you tenderly as he lays you down in your backseat.

"I love you, baby."

haologram © 2024 || no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[deanwinchestersbabygirll]

The Christmas Cabin

warnings// SMUT, SMUT and oh how could I forget SMUT!!! Angst with a happy ending

Lil Summary// Dean, Sam, Y/N, Jody, Donna, Bobby, Charlie, Claire, Alex and Garth all go to a cabin for Christmas after Charlie begging for weeks, Y/N are dating but r in the middle of a fight because of a hunt done wrong they left Y/N with a broken leg, wanting them to get over it Charlie works to get the couple to work things out.

dean x reader

word count// 3515

(GIF from Pinterest)

You couldn't even cut the tension in the impala with ruby's knife, there was no space to move as you had your cast clad leg propped up on Charlie's lap, Sam tried to make you get in the front so you'd have more room but with Dean giving you the cold shoulder that wasn't gonna happen. You save his life from a damn vampire but somehow you're in the wrong. Damn Winchester stubbornness!

 "How far away is this place Charlie?" Dean asked  his eyes focusing on the snowy road ahead "it's like a half hour away... I think- I haven't been here since me and my ex girlfriend rented the place for a weekend. But it's definitely not far I know that!" Charlie rambled out making your heart sink

It had been a long, LONG six hour drive, your leg was killing you being stuck in that position for so long. You closed you screwed your eyes shut trying not to focus on the pain, "you doing okay Y/N?" Sam questioned turning to look at you noticing the uncomfortable look on your face "yeah I'm okay, just ready to get out and move around a bit" you told him trying to play down the actual pain your in to not draw any more attention from a certain person. Sam nodded his head "yeah I get it, broken legs suck, at least it's only a little while longer" Sam assured you

Dean scoffed making everyone turn to look at him, you face turning red as anger ran through your veins "what are you all pishy about?" Charlie questioned "nothing. Nothing at all" Dean gruffed out his hands tightening around the steering wheel so hard they were turning white "well, you know I broke my leg on the vamp hunt down in Denver? Well it happened because dumbass here was basically serving himself in a damn silver platter and so-"

"And so Y/N STUPIDLY decided to push me out of the way when one of the bastards ran up and almost put her ass trough a brick wall from the top of the stairs- she's lucky all that happened was a broken leg and not a broken neck!" Dean interrupted his voice full of anger "Dean!" Sam scolded his brother, Dean rolled his eyes and put his foot down on the pedal "whatever" he mumbled. It's not like Dean didn't have a point, you did almost get yourself killed- not like he wouldn't have done the same thing for you. Did he really expect you to just stand there and watch him die in front of you and you do nothing? Not a damn chance I’m hell!

———————

Finally after what felt like an eternity Dean was pulling outside a cozy looking cabin “it’s just as beautiful as I remember!” Charlie squealed out in excitement “yeah it looks amazing Charlie, good picking” Sam said getting out of the impala, you held your leg up slightly so Charlie could get out of the car, allowing you to have more room to get your self out “here let me help” Sam told you giving you out his hand as he rolled his eyes at his big headed brother who pulled the bags from the trunk with a sour look on his face “thanks Sammy” you told him quietly trying not to wince when the blood ran down your leg, Charlie handed you your crutches when you finally got your footing 

“You sure you’re okay?” She asked softly rubbing her hand up your arm “yeah just still getting used to these things” you loosed your head to the metal sticks under your arms “wouldn’t have to em used to em if you didn’t try and act the big bad hunter” Dena grumbled roughly as he stormed passed you carrying your bags, you swallowed the thick lump in your throat trying to calm down- this was gonna be along weekend. 

“Ignore him he’s just being an ass” Charlie said glaring at the older Winchester as he walked through the door “how many rooms are in there again?” Charlie thought for a second before answering, “five rooms, Bobbys with Garth, Jody with Donna, Claire with Alex, I was gonna do Sam and cas but since cas doesn’t sleep I’m with Sam and your with…. Oh- oh okay so we can fix this if you guys aren’t speaking Sam and Dean can room and me and you can room? That sound okay?” Charlie asked quickly problem solving 

“Sounds perfect to me” you smiled at her “are you too coming? You gotta see this place Y/N it’s incredible!” Sam called out the door , you and Charlie giggled at his excitement before making your own way into the cabin. You looked around and you were amazed, a a big brown couch that could fit at least 15 people on it at one pointed at a bricked fireplace with a tv in the corner “wow, Charlie this place is beautiful” you said in awe 

“I told you guys you would love it” she exclaimed clapping her hands “yeah, real freaking nice” Dean grumbled out in an annoyed tone, Charlie’s smile faltered making you clench your teeth, Sicily hobbling your way into the kitchen where Dean stood with a beer, stopping in front of his hard stare you pointed your finger at his chest “alright Winchester, just cause your pissed at me doesn’t mean you get to take it out on everyone around you! You have a problem with me, then fine! Whatever! But you’re not going to spend this whole freaking weekend being an ass to every one else!” You scolded him, leaving him stunned in the kitchen 

Once Dean regained his composure he moved to follow you to continue the argument, Sam’s hand on his shoulder stopping  him “don’t make it any worse Dean”  Dean shrugged his hand off his shoulder and stormed into the bedroom you two were supposed to share slamming the door in his wake “we gotta fix this” Charlie said quietly to Sam who nodded “definitely. Any ideas?” Charlie just smirked up at the older Winchester “right, dumb question, tell me what you need me to do” 

———————————————————

You winched when you heard the door slam, you wanted to run in there and make up with him- I mean it’s Christmas you didn’t want to fight with your boyfriend during the holidays, but it would be a cold day in hell before you apologised first, Dean was just gonna have to see he was in the wrong and being a dick!

Charlie and Sam started to set some mistletoe under places they knew you to would definitely be in, one under the room you were to share, one in the kitchen, particularly above the cooker considering you two were the cooks for this weekend, planned to give Jody a break, and one in the hall just incase and this was just phase one of their plan 

Sam had just placed the last on e in the hall when the front door opened revealing Bobby, Jody, Claire and Alex “merry Christmas!” Jody said sitting her bags down on the ground, you winched getting up to greet them “merry Christmas guys” “yeah merry Christmas guys” Sam came inn pulling Bobby into a hug “merry Christmas ya idjit, where’s Dean?” Sam scratched behind his neck awkwardly “well deans too busy being a a stubborn ass so he’s on his room sulking” you answered for him, Bobby sighed before pulling you into a careful hug “he’s the biggest idjit going, he’ll come around you know Dean” you nodded “I hope so, it’s been three days since he really spoke to me that wasn’t sarcasm or a snide comment,  it’s killing me Bobby” you confessed to the older hunter “I’ll have a word with him, make him pull his head out his damn ass”, “Thanks Bobby” you smiled up at him, the patted your shoulder lovingly before moving to take his bags upstairs 

“How’s it going with you girls” you diverted the conversation to the two teenage girls “well the six hour drive sucked with Bobby and Jody’s crappy flirting but at least it’s over for a few days now, I there any room in the impala for two more people, please say yes” Claire begged not wanting to sit in a car with Bobby and Jody that long ever again, “sorry girls but with my dumb leg taking up so much room Charlie barley even has room” you told them motioning to your broken leg 

“Yeah Jody told blue you got hurt on a hunt, she didn’t give any details though, what happened?” Alex questioned “vampire, threw me down the stairs  trying to put me through the damn wall” you said with a laugh at the end “Jesus-” “hey!” “Sorry Jody” Claire said quickly “that’s insane how the hell did you only break your leg” Claire exclaimed shocked “i honestly have no idea but Dean’s pretty pissed, the bastard was gonna kill him so I had to intervene, can either of you look me in the eye and tell me he wouldn’t have done the same” both girls shook their heads “definitely not” 

“ exactly, if i could get that through his thick skull then he’d have to stop being such a jerk this weekend” you mumbled the last part trying to hid the hurt.

Everyone started to settle in, Dean was still in his room so you all decided on a pizza for dinner, Sam and Bobby driving in for it. You, Charlie, Jody and the girls decided to watch home alone on the tv, you could hardly focus on true movie playing, you didn’t like Dean being locked in there so long himself “I’ll be back” you said getting up slowly hopping to the wooden door, you sucked in a deep breath before knocking “I’m not hungry Sam” Dean called out “it’s not Sam” the silence behind the door made you rethink your decision, turning to go back to the living room while you still had your dignity, the sound of the door opening caught your attention “what do you want Y/N?” 

It’s not often Dean called you by your name and it set shivers down your spine when he did “I just wanted to see if you wanted to come watch a movie with us, I know your still pissed at me I just don’t want you sitting in here alone” you told him sheepishly, neither of you heard the small footsteps of a certain red head who was already putting her plan into action “hey love birds, look up” both you and Dean’s eyes shot up to the ceiling, quickly spotting the mistletoe above the door. “Charlie I-” you tried to say but your voice hitched in your throat at the sound of the door closing, did he seriously just reject you, his girlfriend, like some stranger “oh I- I didn’t mean- I don’t think he would- I thought it would you guys make up I’m so sorry” Charlie rambled out, guilt coursed through her bones- did she seriously just make things worse? 

Your eyebrows creased in anger before banging your hand against his door “open the damn door you son of a bitch!” You demanded, Charlie already scurried off back to the living room not wanting to witness what was about to happen “what!” Dean yelled almost swinging the door off its hinges “are you freaking kidding me? Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? My boyfriend literally rejected kissing me under stupid mistletoe in front of my best friend?” You whisper yelled at him, Dean rolled his eyes crossing his arms over his broad chest “I didn’t reject you-” 

“Oh really? Then what was that? The new way to kiss your girlfriend under mistletoe? Shutting the damn door in my face? You wouldn’t have done that if-” you were cut off by deans hands on either side of your face, his lips mold against your own, you wrap your arms around his neck, the sound of your crutches falling to the ground falling on deaf ears as the kiss started to get more heated

Dean ran has hands down your back to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze causing a moan to fall from your lips. Dean hoisted you up around his waist, you wrapped your legs around his hips putting your injured one over your other so not to hurt it. 

Running your hands through deans short strands you feel him groan against you, taking advantage of his open mouth you slide your tongue inside his mouth, Dean quickly dominated the kiss leaving you a moaning mess “so are you gonna fuck me or you gonna shut the door in my face again?” You sassed taking deep breathes while Dean trailed his kisses down your neck “oh don’t worry sweetheart, I’m gonna fuck your so hard you won’t be able to leave the bed all damn weekend” Dean said harshly sucking a mark under your jaw

You threw your head, your breath caught in your throat and eyes rolling to the back of your head in pleasure. “Brace yourself beautiful” Dean wanted before throwing you down in the middle of the bed carefully, you giggled when bounced on the mattress “you know I hate that your hurt but god do I love that you have to wear skirts with it, you have no idea what you do to me in skirts” Dean confessed rubbing his rough hands up your thighs, edging their way towards your pink lace panties, his fingers hooking around them, slowly pulling them down “well you could have been having your fun with it if you didn’t go all asshole on me” you told him as you lifted your ass off the bed allowing him to pull them down your legs freeing your soaking pussy to the cold air in the room, you suck in a small breath in anticipation 

“You forgot something De” you motioned to your skirt, Dean shook his head right away “nope, skirt stays on sweetheart, now how about you be a good girl and spread em ” Dean said licking his lips 

You did as you were told , spreading your legs wide, exposing your glistening pussy to his hungry eyes “your so fucking we’re” dean groaned “only for you” you whined arching your back off the mattress begging for him to touch you

Dean smirked, kneeling down to the floor, hands on your hips pulling you to the end of the bed leaving him facing your sweet pussy. He wasted no time in placing a small  kiss on your clit to soft feel of his lips on your most sensitive part enough to send you into a whining mess “please Dean, I need you so fucking bad” you cried out

Dean chuckled darkly “oh don’t worry sweetheart, you want more, I’m gonna give you more” Dean leaned forward licking a stripe up your pussy stopping to suck your clit into his mouth “oh god, Yes Dean!” You moaned his name loudly, reaching your hand down to hold his head tightly to your soaking pussy. Dean groaned against me your sensitive nub, sending vibrations through your body “more! please baby” you begged your stomach convulsing feeling so close yet not close enough to cum 

“You got it baby” Dean mumbled against you his mouth continuing to work you closer as he sucked your clit harshly making you let out a small squeal of his name, Dean chuckled as he inserted two fingers inside your dripping hole making you clench around him tightly as he pumped them hard against your G spot “I can already feel how damn tight you are sweetheart, can’t wait to pound this sweet pussy myself” Dean told you making your heart pound against your chest, no matter how many times you and Dean had sex he always managed to make your heart flutter at the thought of him fucking you 

“Then do it big boy, I want to cum all over your big, thick cock” you flirted pulling your shirt over your shaking body to reveal your breasts. “Oh you asking for it now hot stuff” Dean smirked pulling his fingers out, pulling away from your pussy making you whine at the loss of contact “don’t cry sweetheart, I’ll be right with you” Dean joked as he started to undress himself

Once he was naked, revealing his hard member your mouth watered at the sight “well get up here hot stuff” you said motioning for him to come to you, Dean chuckled climbing on top of you, careful not to hit your leg. Dean pulled your lips into a wet teeth clashing kiss, his hands instantly grabbing your perky breast into his calloused hands making your back arch off the mattress “fuck me De, please” 

Dean nodded his head instantly, he nudged his leaking cock to your entrance, inserting himself inside you inch, by inch “oh god! You feel so good, filling me up so good baby” you moaned dragging your nails down his back, Dean chuckled darkly “I’m just getting started” he told you, spreading your legs further pushing your knees up to your chest before he starts thrusting inside of you at fast pace making your eyes roll to the back of your head “harder baby please!” You screamed as his cock pounded your G spot repeatedly, Dean laughed loudly but did as you asked and sped up his thrusts milking the moans deep from your chest 

Dean groaned as your pussy clasped around his cock like a vice, your nails leaving deep red lines down his back as you moaned his name like a chorus “I’m gonna come sweetheart!” Dean said through his own groans “me too baby” you cried pulling his back into a  kiss, this one full more of love than lust as you poured al your feelings into it as he made love to you.

You screamed his name as you came on his cock triggering his own release as he spurted cum over your walls, Dean thrusted inside you a few more times before pulling out making you whine “shh it’s okay sweetheart” Dean comforted rolling to his side pulling you into his embrace, you laid your head against his warm chest listening to his heart beat, you closed your eyes at the warm feeling of his lips on the top of your head “sweetheart… I’m sorry about our dumb fight, I was just so worried when I saw you get hurt… I don’t know what I’d do without you baby… I- I love you sweetheart, more than anything” Dean confessed 

your eyes watered at his words, lifting your head so you could see his eyes “I love you too Dean” you said pulling him into a warm kiss “I’m sorry too- not because I saved you, I’ll never apologise for saving any of my loved ones ever, I am however sorry for worrying you” Dean let out a small laugh kissing your forehead once more 

You lay there a few more minutes just basking in the after glow of make up sex “were gonna have to go back out there, they’re probably waiting for us, plus Donna and Garth should be here soon” you smiled up at him “yeah… besides we’ve got all weekend to make up for lost time” 

“Three days?” You questioned 

“Three days is a lot sweetheart” 

You rolled your eyes laughing “alright ya horn dog get dressed and we can watch some movies with everyone, Dean chuckled getting out of bed to get ready handing you your own clothes 

———————-

Finally once you guys were more presentable Dean picked you up bridal style carrying you towards the living room to the  girls, Sam and Bobby now watching the grinch eating pizza “ I see you too made up” Jody smiled “yeah, I can’t stay mad at this face” you teased your hand squishing his cheeks together to make a funny face, “yeah, yeah. Guess it’s nothing to do with what I did to you in be-” “ah! Kids in the room” you said covering his mouth with your hand quickly 

Dena rolled his eyes playfully licking your hand making you squeal. Dean laughed sitting on the couch keeping you tightly to his lap, “well I last heard Garth and Donna were an hour away so they should be getting here now soon-” Bobby was cut off by the door opening “goodness gracious that was a long drive” Donna said coming inside, Garth coming in right behind her “hey everyone! How’s it going” every one rushed to say their hellos, you and Dean calling from the couch but staying unmoved 

As everyone was chatting amongst themselves you and Dean stayed cuddled up watching the rest of the grinch “hey sweetheart?” You turned to look at him raising your brows “yeah?” Dean gave you a peck on the lips “merry Christmas baby” you smiled pulling him into a deeper kiss “merry Christmas my very handsome boyfriend” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

I'm gonna post a Sam one tomorrow!

ALL MY OWN WORK I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OR PUBLISH ON OTHER SITES, I.E, WATTPAD, ETC, WITHOUT MESSAGING TO ASK FIRST FIRST. REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING.

[rwshfordgirl]

CHRISTMAS DINNER

all images were taken from pinterest.

where reader and jude bellingham are used to spending christmas together, but this year's christmas could change their relationship forever.

a/n: hope you like it;)

requests are open | check here my masterlist.

"my God, you started getting ready for dinner at two in the afternoon, it's almost seven at night and you haven't finished?" my brother appeared at the bathroom door, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and completely incredulous. "i'm almost done." i replied. "you're already very pretty little sister, you don't need all this." he said making me smile "but i'm sure jude bellingham will notice all this effort." in response, he received a middle finger and the door closing in his face.

james knows me like no one else, unfortunately. not that i'm trying to get jude's attention with excessive makeup and flashy clothes, on the contrary, i want to be as natural as possible. and now, i have to say that thinking like this, i look like a 15 year old teenager trying to win over the boy she has a crush on school.

and my brother is exaggerated, i started getting ready almost now.

from my room i could hear the voices downstairs in the house, i could hear the voices of all the bellinghams but not jude, he didn't arrive.

my family and his family are friends, our mothers grew up together, he and i grew up together. and it's a christmas tradition to have dinner together, there wasn't a year when we weren't together. 

i think i was ten when i realized i had a crush on jude. he seemed like my superhero defending me from the bullying i used to suffer.  and he always showed concern for me, always sending me messages wanting to know if everything is okay with college, wanting to know if i'm in good health.

i can say that i love everything about jude, especially his worried way, but i also love his polite way of being. the smile he gives when he sees me, the photos he sends me after games, the way he touches my hair.

i don't know if jude is interested in me in the same way that i am interested in him, sometimes i believe that it is just his way of showing affection, even if it makes me fall more and more in love with him.

i was putting away what i had used when two knocks on the door made me jump back. i was distant, caught up in my thoughts."hey, are you ready yet?" it was jude. i was caught off guard again. "oh, hi jude! i'm done now." i said as i opened the bedroom door to see him. i looked bellingham up and down, he was as handsome as ever. "i loved your dress, it looks good on you" jude ran his hand over the back of his neck "thank you! you also chose your clothes well today." he chuckled.

"i bet my mom asked you to come get me." i said, turning off the light in the room and then leaving. bellingham moved a little more to the side. "you got it right." i nodded. "i thought you hadn't arrived, i heard everyone's voice but yours." he smiled. "i'm less talkative today." he commented as he directed his gaze to the floor. "lucky we have time to tell each other our problems today."

i signaled for bellingham to follow me downstairs and he promptly came. "green is definitely your color." his mother said as she hugged me. "you look stunning, jude will be even more in love." my cheeks flushed as i heard my mother's laughter and saw jude rolling his eyes. i was so embarrassed that my thank you came out almost silent. i greeted jobe and his father, then i sat between the youngest bellingham and jude.

jobe and i spent exactly fifteen minutes watching videos on tiktok, jude even laughed at some things but he's acting completely weird today. "what's going on in your head?" i turned my face towards the player who smiled shyly, without showing his teeth "a lot of stuff." i laid my head on his shoulder "do you want to talk about it?" he nodded and i got up from the couch, extending my hand to help him up.

i wanted to take him out to the backyard so we could have privacy, even though no one in the room would be able to hear our conversation due to the noise of the voices. jude sat across from me on the wooden table seat. we stared at each other for a few minutes, i raised my eyebrows when i noticed his eyes analyzing every detail of my face and bellingham laughed. 

"first laugh of the night, we're already moving forward." he chuckled before clasping his hands together and resting them on the table in front of him. "my mom is right, green is definitely your color." bellinghams love to make my cheeks blush "thank you mr jude! you don't look bad in black and white either." i complimented him "and you know you don't look bad wearing any color, that impresses me." i rolled my eyes. he has no idea that his playful flirting makes my heart race.

"i think this is a great time for you to tell me what's bothering you so much." he bit his lower lip "never mind, i don't know how to explain it." he said "oh please, draw a picture with twigs in the snow then." he smiled "does it have anything to do with madrid?" He denied "let's forget about it, i already feel much better." he smiled "ugh, it's okay! if you want to talk about it, i'll be willing to listen."

"let's go back inside, i'm going to freeze." i said, pretending my jaw was shaking. my coat isn't doing me much good. jude got up, I thought he was going to wait for me so we could go back inside my house together, but he sat down next to me. "let's stay here, i'll warm you up if anything! but i just want to stay here with you." i pouted "are you needy or do you miss me?" i turned my face towards him. "both of them." he rested his face on his hand. again i was rolling my eyes, again i was getting nervous.

"didn't you find anyone in madrid?" i questioned as i stood in the same position as the player. "my heart is set on birmingham." i laughed. "i bet it's that girl who used to go to school with us, but i must say she's engaged to a friend of yours." i said as i played with jude's hand "i don't even remember her anymore. unfortunately, only girls in green occupy my mind for a long time." 10 seconds to process what he had said. i laughed awkwardly and licked my lips. "you went from downcast to flirty really fast."

jude turned my face to him again. i looked at him confused. "i'm starting to think you're drunk." he threw his head back laughing. "but seriously..." he ran his hand over the back of his neck before continuing. "seriously what?" i asked. "do you think you and i wouldn't work as a couple?" i was speechless. jude bellingham is out of his mind. 

"are you kidding me?" i laughed nervously "what? you don't think so? if you knew how much i think about you every day you wouldn't say that." jude was serious. i was sure of it after analyzing his body posture. i can't believe what i'm hearing. "of course you think, we are bests." i said and then turned my head to the other side.  

jude put his hands on his face and then shook his head "you know i don't think of you as just a friend." my heart could jump out of my chest at any moment "i know?" i scoffed. jude turned my head towards him once more, his hand promptly brushing a strand of hair that was falling over my face behind my ear.

i could hear his breathing getting louder as he got closer. his mouth was just inches from mine. i want them to stick together.

"was that what was eating at your mind?" i questioned. bellingham's eyes flickered between my mouth and my eyes "maybe." he replied.

"my mom is looking for you, she wants everyone in the room now." james appeared in the backyard, making bellingham and I jump back. "okay, we'll go." i stood up first and saw james looking at me with an arched eyebrow, but he laughed and continued toward the house. "think about what i told you, please." jude held my hand, he was still sitting down. "if you knew everything that goes on in my head, you wouldn't say that." he stood up and again we were close enough to hear each other's heartbeats "and you hid this from me?" he questioned before giving me a kiss on the corner of my mouth. "we'll work, i promise." he continued.

[ryleektv]

Can you write something for Lorenzo Berkshire and have it be where he love it when you wear pink? Like it’s his favorite color on you! Like one day when y’all are in his or your room and y’all are making out and then he sees you wearing a pink bra and then he checks to see if it’s a set and it is! So then it just leads to smut! If you don’t want to write this I’d understand.

AHHHHH omg the fact that i got this the SAME day i dressed up in all pink to go watch wicked is INSANE (wicked is absolutely amazing btw) like full glinda coded eyeshadow and pink eyeliner and everything. also i am sick (AGAIN, ive quite literally been sick constantly for the past 3 months bc my immune system might as well not exist)

anyways i hope this is good enough pooks

Favorite Color

(on his favorite girl)

bf!lorenzo berkshire x f!reader

WARNINGS: smut, unprotected p in v, fingering, ummm biting?, whipped Lorenzo, not proofread, lowkey not Toxic!Lorenzo??? SUMMARY: Lorenzo's favorite color was famously red. But on you? Pink all the way.

WC: 1.4k

"Hey, princess- okay then." Lorenzo stopped in the doorway, his hands up as he dodged the shoe you threw in his direction. "Why're you so pissed off, hm?"

You groaned out incoherent swears at him before flopping over onto your back, leaving you bed sheets warm where you had been. "What do you want?"

"To spend time with my beautiful sweet girlfriend and find out who pissed in her tea?" He questioned as he took a careful step forward. "What can I do, honey?"

"I don't know." You mumbled with a heavy sigh. "Don't hate me, but I don't think I wanna do date night out tonight."

Lorenzo took another few steps before sitting down at the edge of the bed, his thumb delicately brushing your cheek.

"I'd never hate you. You sure you don't want to go out? I know you love getting all dressed up to show off."

You watched him carefully as his fingers traced over your t-shirt. You'd gotten half way ready, your hair and makeup done perfectly, before you realized that not only was your dress in need to be washed, but it was pouring out, and your picnic date was a complete waste.

Lorenzo, of course, was quick to call and ask if you wanted to just go get dinner at a restaurant instead, to which you agreed. But, none of your other clothes seemed good enough, and to make matters even worse, you found out last minute that you flunked on an important Potion's exam.

"I don't even have anything to wear," You complained quietly, resting your head on his thigh and tugging the blankets back up so you'd stay warm.

He looked over at the piles of clothes thrown everywhere, but like a smart man, didn't say anything.

"Can we just stay in tonight?"

"Of course,"

"That is not realistic, I mean, who the hell stabs someone like that? And- and blood doesn't just spurt our like that unless you hit an artery." Lorenzo tutted, still tracing circles on your shoulder with the tip of his index finger. "That's just not how it works."

You looked up at him with furrowed brows, your head rested on his chest as you watched the horror movie on the screen with your boyfriend. "Why the hell do you suddenly know so much about the logics of stabbing? Should I be concerned, Enzo?"

"No, I'm just saying. There's science behind this stuff, and if the were really that interested in spending what I assume to be millions on making this movie, you'd think they would at least put a little research into it."

"You're psychotic."

"It turns you on, though." He looked down at you as he wiggled his eyebrows jokingly.

You rolled your eyes with a smile and turned back to the television and watched as the killer proceeded to drag the protagonists dead body towards the woods.

"Deny it, maybe?"

You burst out laughing and looked up at Enzo who was watching you with a mixture of concern and amusement. "Oh, baby, I'm not denying shit."

Lorenzo's brown eyes stared down at you with a sparkle you could recognize from a mile away, his lips brushing up into a smirk.

"Enzo," You whispered, fully intending to spur him on.

His lips immediately crashed to yours, his hands tugging you closer as yours went to his hair.

You let out a soft sigh, eliciting a quiet groan from Lorenzo as he seemed to try to pull you impossibly closer to him. You could feel him already touching all over you, exploring every inch of your body as if it was his first time near a woman.

Still continuing your quickly escalating make-out session, he maneuvered the two of you so he was propped up over your body, his teeth nipping at you bottom lip before his tongue met yours in a familiar dance.

His hands came back to your hair, stroking over it as you pulled at him, both of you already breathing heavily into each other's mouths, gasping in each other's air as it got hotter.

And because Lorenzo would rather die than do it himself, you gently pushed him up so the two of you could breathe properly for a moment, his wild eyes staring down into yours as he gasped for breath, his lips swollen and wet as he grinned.

"Go lock the door," You murmured, four words that drove him mad, quickly scrambling off of you and practically running to the door as he fumbled with the buttons of his shirt.

If only he'd put as much effort into his school work as he did locking the door when you'd ask.

You sat up slightly, pulling the oversized t-shirt over your head to reveal the pink lace bra you'd planned to wear for your restaurant date.

Lorenzo shuddered out a breath as his eyes dropped to the bra, lips parted slightly as his eyes softened. "Fucking hell,"

His gaze hovered over your breasts before looking up at you with a questioning whisper, "Is it?"

"Why don't you come see for yourself?" You grabbed his belt loop with your middle finger, pulling him over to you before rejoining your lips with his as he climbed back over you, smiling into the kiss as you lifted your hips to help as he slowly pulled down your shorts.

You watched as his eyes darkened at the sight of your matching pink panties, Enzo's fingers rubbing slow circles on your clit over the fabric as you let out a soft sigh of relief.

"I don't think I tell you enough how beautiful you are." He mumbled against your lips as he slowly pushed the fabric of your panties to the side and easily pushed two fingers into you.

You let out a gasping moan, pulling on his hair as he curled his fingers hard inside of you, picking up the pace as flashes of heat grew all over your body in pulses.

"Enzo- shit- fuck me, please just-" You cut off with a whimper. "Just fuck me already." You practically pleaded as your eyes welled up with tears at the pleasure of his fingers curling perfectly inside you, his thumb starting up rough circles on your clit.

Lorenzo must have been like a dog in heat tonight, because he was clearly too desperate to make you beg, instead just undoing his belt and pulling off his pants and boxers faster than you'd ever seen him before.

His tip pressed against your entrance as he rested his forehead against yours, letting out a groan as he slipped in, your back arching at the perfect fit.

"Oh, fuck, Enzo," You breathed, arms wrapping over your shoulders as he started slowly thrusting in and out of you.

He buried his face into the crook of your neck, gently biting at your flesh as he sped up. "You feel so good, princess."

Your head tipped back as you felt his fingers speeding up as they circled your clit again, making the knot in your stomach form far faster than usual.

You pressed your hips back against his, meeting it time with his thrusts and pushing him deeper inside of you as you listened to his moans pressed into your skin, your own mouth agape as you whined at the sharp tug of your skin between his teeth.

"Oh, Gods, Enzo- Enzo, I'm so fucking close." You moaned into his hair, nails digging into his tensed back as you closed your eyes, legs shaking slightly.

"C'mon, I've got you." He pulled away from your neck, kissing the corner of your mouth. "I am too."

With one more thrust you tipped over the edge, vision going blank as you gave way to the waves of please, heat coursing through your body as if your blood was replaced with lava, chest heaving as tears slipped past your waterline, rolling down your cheeks before Lorenzo gently kissed them away.

You wrapped your legs tighter around Lorenzo as he was about to pull out, interrupting his panicked glance, "I'll get a vial." You breathed, with less than a second difference before he was finishing inside of you, the both of you moaning at the feeling.

Lorenzo flopped down on top of you, wrapping his arms around your waist as his face buried in your chest. "I love you,"

You brushed back his hair with the tips of your fingers, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you, too, Enzo."

i kinda hate this too but thats okay bc i wrote it was 3am and thats excuse enough

requests are open as always and i promise i am in fact still working on a slytherin boys christmas im just severely behind

[sweetbillwriting]

Way Out of Line

ONE

Beneath my perfume and make-up I'm just a baby in disguise. And though I know that it's wrong to be alone with him that "come on look" is in my eyes.

Character: Keith Toshko from Barbarian (2022) played by Bill Skarsgård.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: Merry Christmas! 🎀 I present my newest story now because it's set at Christmas. This story will be full of subjects that can provoke and a theme many recognize. The french is google translate!

Silver Bells, Silver Bells… It's Christmas time in the city…

I looked at the mountain of gifts in front of me on the floor. It was silly I still received so many Christmas presents and that my parents still said it was from Santa Claus. I was twenty-one years old, a whole woman, but I still got everything from my wish list. I sat and looked at an eyeshadow palette from Dior, swatching the shades on my hand while my dad sat and looked at me like I was still his five-year-old little girl. I would always be his little girl, even if I went to college and had my own car. Or technically it was his, but it was mine. What would he have done with a little white beetle?

“Are you happy with your gifts, Jacqueline honey?” Asked my mom when she came into the room, carrying her coffee mug. She was still dressed in her red robe that matched my red pajamas.

“Oh yes, thank you so much, I mean Santa,” I said with a giggle and laid the palette on the neat pile of gifts by the well-decorated Christmas tree. My mom smiled, pleased, and sat down next to my dad, who also drank his morning coffee.

“When will the others be here?” I asked as I stood up, ready to take a shower and make myself ready for our Christmas guests. It was my older brother with his family and my aunt with hers. There would be thirteen people, and I would sit by the kids table as usual. I didn't complain because I had never had a reason to leave the table, and I probably had more in common with my teenage cousins than the grown-ups.

“They will be here at one, but you know Jason is always early,” my mom said looking at her phone, probably checking for Christmas greetings on Facebook. I nodded a little before leaving my parents in our Christmas-decorated living room to walk to my bedroom on the second floor. I had my own en suite bathroom there and could take the time I needed. It was just family, so it wasn't really that important to look great, but it felt better to do my full routine even if no one would touch my smooth legs or check if my eyeliner was completely even.

While I stood in front of my mirror, after my shower, there was a knock on the door, and in confusion, I answered, “yes.”

“Can I come in?” my mom asked, against the door. Doubtfully I opened it even if I was just dressed in a white spaghetti top and panties, but my mom didn't seem to think about that; she just looked at me with big eyes.

“Would it be okay if you took Jason's old room for a few days?”

My first thought was that my aunt and her family would sleep over, but a few days sounded like a very long time.

“What? Why?” I looked around in my bathroom, all my expensive things and light colors. Children were not allowed in there. My mom looked stressed, fixing the red jacket of her velour tracksuit over and over.

“Your dad's friend, Keith, has suddenly showed up.”

I looked at Mom with furrowed brows. I have heard about Keith but more in a nostalgic way from my father’s old stories. I knew he was a musician, and my dad had been close friends with him when they went to college but seemed to have drifted away because of their different lifestyles.

“Why? It's Christmas Day? You can't just show up on Christmas Day?” I said, pulling out a drawer under the sink to search for a warmer shade for my lip pencil. My mom leaned against the marble sink and sighed.

“He has separated. Seems like he has been kicked out and needs somewhere to sleep. Awful woman who kicks him out on Christmas morning!”

“Maybe he is a pig? Maybe he has cheated? Or he's abusive? I dunno, men can be trash.” I continued to search for the right pencil, comparing them to each other. My mom shook her head but then looked at me seriously.

“So can he take your room?”

I had forgotten about the question, and when she asked it again, I felt my hackles go up. Some cheating, gross man would not sleep in my bed.

“Why? He can take Jason's room?”

“Yours is the only one with a bathroom. If he will live here for a while, he can't use the bathroom in the hallway all the time.”

I crossed my arms and pouted.

“Why not? I can't just move all my stuff to Jason's room!”

“We’ll move the important things, and he will let you in to get stuff. I'm sure of it! Keith is nice!”

I made a frustrated sound and pouted, trying to make my mom feel sorry for me, but she started to go through my drawers and cabinets, probably to see what I actually needed to move into the other room.

“Mom...! I whined and stomped my foot like a toddler but didn't get a reaction. Instead, I walked out to my room and looked at its cream color palette. It was so light, fresh, and clean, and a man would absolutely destroy that. I had never even had a guy in my bed, and I wanted it to be that way. I didn't like the smell of heavy cologne or cheap hair products.

“He will destroy something!”

“He will not,” sighed my mom as she walked out from the bathroom too, looking at my room. I think the both of us found things that were a bit embarrassing. My prizes from spelling competitions, my old children's books and movies, but also a super old picture of me and my high school boyfriend I still hadn't thrown out. There were leftovers from my time as a teenage girl in the room; it wasn't a grown woman's bedroom completely.

“Maybe you should stuff some things away…” My mom said gently while looking at my collection of seashells that lay spread out on the windowpane. Once again I huffed in frustration, but Mom didn't care.

“I'll go and find some linen for him, and you can start to move your things to Jason's room.”

I watched my mom leave while I stayed in the middle of my room with crossed arms. I didn't want to leave my room to a stranger. It felt intrusive, and I wondered if he would go through my stuff, read my journals, sniff my panties, or something. I had so much makeup he could break, and he maybe would leave hair and body fluids on my stuff, but my mom had made the decision. I knew she wouldn't change her mind, but I knew there was maybe another way to go, and that was to ask Keith.

I pulled on a pair of silky baby blue pajama shorts with my spaghetti tank. I fixed my hair, long and flowy, and then my makeup the sweet and girly way I've noticed other men liked. I maybe wasn't so experienced in having relationships with men, but I knew how to get their attention and use it for my own gain. Every good-looking girl knew that.

I walked down the stairs while practicing what I would say in my head. I would talk to my dad so Keith could overhear my fake sadness, and say to him how I can't sleep somewhere else. When my dad would say no, because he would, even if it pained him, just because he couldn't go against my mom, I would leave and go by Keith and say hello to him. I would look sad with shiny eyes but sweet and kind, playing with my long hair and fluttering my long lashes. I would brush my hair over my shoulders so he could see my chest, and I would play with the bow in the front of my shorts. I felt quite sure that he would give in.

When I had descended the stairs, I tried to locate my father and listened for sounds and heard someone sniffle in the living room. Knowing that my dad had a cold for a long time, I was sure it was him and prepared myself to look like his sad little girl. I walked into the big living room, looking around the corner by the open fireplace to see if my dad sat on one of the couches, but he wasn’t; instead, another man sat there.

I had never seen a photo of Keith, and I had never thought anything else other than that he was the same age as my dad, but the man who sat on the couch was probably just a few years over 30 and also looked handsome, even if his face was covered by his two big hands. He was crying, and something told me it had been far worse earlier because his hands shook, and in front of him on the table lay several used napkins. He sniffled again and dragged the back of his hand over his eyes, and it was then he saw me.

Both of us looked surprised at one another. In silence, we looked at each other up and down. I couldn't say how he saw me or why we didn't say anything. I just knew I was looking at a really attractive man with big, sad eyes.

“Are you okay?” I said carefully, and he smiled sadly and nodded. My first instinct was to run from him, run from the awkward moment of seeing a grown man cry, but my curiosity took over, and I felt a need to know more. Slowly I walked up to him and sat down in the other corner of the couch with my feet pulled up.

“Are you Keith?”

“Yeah… You must be Jacqueline?” He changed his position so he sat more towards me. I nodded a little and looked away in embarrassment after having looked at him a bit too long.

“Thank you for letting me come like this to you… And on top of that, take your room. I understand if that doesn't feel good; I can sleep wherever-”

“It's okay. It's okay,” I interrupted with a smile even if I had felt something completely different before. He dried his cheeks and smiled with a lowered gaze that made him look boyish even if he probably was ten years older than me. A giggle escaped my lips, but it caused him to just look at me with a bigger smile.

“I can show you the room...”

“Oh, thank you,” he said and stood up with me. He was much taller than me, and I got a tingle in my stomach that moved down lower when I looked at him up and down discreetly.

Been an awful good girl. Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight…

He walked behind me up the broad stairs, and I wondered how his view looked. How much of my ass could he see? Could he see how closely I've shaved my legs?

My cheeks heated like I've been sitting by an open fire, but thankfully my makeup covered a bit of it. I stepped into my room a bit embarrassed but also overwhelmed over having such a big man so close to me. His presence was almost overbearing, and I could feel my heart beating faster and faster.

He took some steps into the room and looked around at the interior, but I just looked at him. He was the first guy, except family members, who had been into my bedroom. He had on a pair of loose lounge pants that sat more tightly over his ass and also in the front, and I couldn't stop myself from looking. I could feel a pulse in my nether regions that made me squirm a little in my place. I had never had the feeling of wanting to be close to a man before just by looking at him, but there was something special with him, but I couldn't say if it was his eyes, lips, or body that made my limbs get soft.

Just by reflex I looked up at his face and met his questioning look.

“Hm?” I said, laying a hand over one of my glowing cheeks.

“I should give you a gift; it's Christmas, and you let me sleep in your bed and… Yeah, it's really nice of you. I should give you a gift.”

I smiled at him sweetly even if my thoughts were far from sweet. Something had taken over me after just meeting Keith, and my otherwise sweet thoughts were dripping with promiscuity. The only gift I wanted from him was to be able to share my bed with him and feel that Christmas spirit taking over us completely.

All I want for Christmas is you…

×××

Have a holly jolly Christmas; it's the best time of the year…

I wore a velvety burgundy dress with a big white collar and a black bow in my half-updo hairstyle. I had always dressed sweet at Christmas, going back to my childhood style, but I felt silly when I stood next to Keith. He was in a deep conversation with my brother about some soul artist I had never heard of, so I stood awkwardly next to them and just listened. During family celebrations, I most often was with my sixteen-year-old cousin Savannah, but I was afraid Keith would see me as a teenager if I was with her and talked about young actors and influencers.

The men continued to talk over my head while I played with my fingers nervously. Earlier, before my 28-year-old brother began talking to Keith, it was he who had been awkward. It was understandable; he would celebrate Christmas with a family he didn't really know, invited due to unfortunate events. He didn't seem to have had much clothing with him either because he had one of my dad's plaid button-ups on, but he still wore the gold band on his left hand. I didn't know what to think about it because I had no idea how it was to be separated, but I still thought he should have taken it off; he had been thrown out on Christmas.

“Chéri, aide-moi au lieu de rester là comme un imbécile.”

My mom began to carry out the dinner to the table and told me to help with a snappy voice. I woke up from my deep thoughts and met Keith's eyes. I couldn't read him, and I swallowed hard before giving him a shy smile. My brother mentioned another musician, and Keith turned his eyes to him quickly to be able to follow the conversation and made me feel silly that I believed he would give me his attention. I started to help my mother, even if my hands shook, and from nerves I did everything thoughtless and messy. My mom groaned, irritated, and fixed the cutlery I knocked into and moved the serving plates I put in the wrong place.

“Tu vas bien? Tu es si maladroit aujourd'hui.”

My mom asked if I felt alright but more irritated than caring, and I looked at her tired; she always stressed on Christmas.

“Je vais bien j'ai juste un peu mal dormi.”

I blamed my sleep and shrugged my shoulders. My mom accepted my excuse, but when she walked back to the kitchen, I looked towards the living room, where I could see Keith now talking with my aunt's husband. I wished I could join them and talk with ease and charm to him, but I didn't even dare to go up to him again. It felt like I had stood awkwardly next to him too much this evening. Instead, I stayed by the dinner table still just as awkward and looked at him with wide eyes. He didn't look like any other guy I've met, and he was so tall he was towering over my whole family. Even if he looked so manly, he moved softly and had a kind aura.

“Are you avoiding me or something?” Savannah had walked up to me with crossed arms.

“What? No.” I looked down at the table and pretended to correct a glass.

“Good.” She pulled out a chair and began playing with a fork, something I would never dare to do because of my mom.

“Do you keep up with Barry Keoghan?” She said excitedly, like it was the most important thing in life. I gave her a fast look and right after that at Keith. If he walked in and heard me talk about such shallow things, he would never talk with me for real.

“I must help Mom…” I said instead and gave Savannah a shoulder shrug.

There wasn't much left to do, and just minutes later, everything was ready. I took a last look at the tables. The dining table sat seven people, and then the other table sat six. I would sit at the smaller table, the kids table. I looked at the childish napkins and the soda in the middle and then thought about Keith. I would sit at the kids table. I felt a weird mix of panic and shame and looked at my mom, who took a last look at the arrangement. It was now or never.

“I want to sit with the grown-ups.”

I sounded like an eleven-year-old that wanted to play adult, and I felt my cheeks glow. My mom turned to me and looked at me confused, but then she shook her head. She gave me a sharp no in French.

“Why?” I whined and felt the panic even harder.

“It's good you're there and can help the younger kids.”

“But Savannah is there!”

“I said no,” said my mom with a louder voice, probably to make me give up, just like she did when I was a kid. That got my dad's attention, and he peeked into the dining room looking confused.

“What is it?”

“I want to sit with the adults. I'm 21! But Mom won’t let me!”

My dad gave my mom a look with furrowed brows. For many years he had felt that I should have a spot at the adult table, so for him it was given that I would change seats. My mom looked at us and then sighed and muttered something in French I couldn't hear. I didn't care what she said because I had won, and I couldn't hide my big smile… It wasn't really that I wanted to sit with the adults; the thought made me slightly nervous, but it was a relief to not look like a kid in front of Keith.

I'll have a blue Christmas without you. I'll be so blue just thinking about you…

Savannah looked hurt when she saw the kids table get filled up while I stood by the dinner table. I had taken a seat at the end where I knew my dad would sit. It felt safe to have one of my parents close, even if I knew everyone except Keith around the table. I looked at an empty seat, and that's when I realized the only seat left for Keith was the one right next to me. I stared out in front of me, scared to look toward my side when he walked up and filled my nose with a warm, musky scent.

“Is it okay if I sit next to you?” He asked, and I gave him a glance. I stared right into his chest, forgetting how tall he was, and looked away again. I gave him a little nod, then looked at my father, speaking to my brother, while standing by the chair next to him and opposite of Keith.

“Thank you…” Keith mumbled, and I gave him one more glance, this time remembering his eyes were higher up than mine. I met the green of his iris, and he gave me a smile before he took a hold of my chair and pulled it out for me. I didn't know where to look because to me that was a thing guys did on a date, or at least for a woman they were attracted to. I looked at my father, afraid he would be upset with Keith, but my dad shared a smirk with Keith, his friend, who just did it playfully to amuse his little daughter.

Keith let go of the chair when he realized I hadn't sat down, and I could see my dad looking on still amused, as if he had made fun of me. I felt the shame rise again but tried to swallow it down because I really wanted to make a good impression in front of Keith. I didn't really know why. It wasn't like I believed anything would happen between us, that I had a chance with a married man, but I wanted to be able to at least pretend something could happen between us.

I sat down, trying to do it smoothly, like a lady, and then looked at Keith when he had sat down next to me. I could feel my cheeks heat, like they had many times that day, but I pretended like it wasn't there. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to feel I was closer to him.

“How old are you?”

As soon as I heard what question I had picked, I bit my tongue. I had so many questions, but clearly my mouth had chosen the question I wanted an answer to the most. Keith smiled a little and took the wine bottle in front of him and the cork screw that lay next to it.

“Younger than your dad, if that's what you're wondering.”

Instead of looking at me, he looked towards my dad so he could gain his attention. “I'm not an old man!”

My dad laughed and threw out a finger towards Keith.

“Still, you look older than I do, Toshko!”

Keith laughed like it was impossible, and then they continued their banter. I sat and looked between them with a small smile even if I wasn't amused. I wanted a real answer to my question and had a silly thought about how I didn't want Keith and Dad being friends, even if that was the reason why Keith was in our home.

The men quit joking when my mom came to my father to ask him something, and Keith looked at me again.

“I'm 38. So yeah, a bit younger than your dad.” He smiled kindly at me, and I could see small lines around his eyes. He was almost 40. My dad was 47, so the age difference wasn't as big as I had thought between them. The age difference between me and Keith was bigger, though. 17 years.

“You're 20, right? I think you were, like, four when I met your dad.”

“21…” I stared at his big hands while he opened the wine bottle skillfully and I felt something itching in my stomach.

“Did you meet me then?” My voice was small.

“No, it never got that way.” He shrugged his shoulders, then showed me the bottle.

“Wine?”

I looked between his handsome face and the bottle before shaking my head. 

××× 

Santa, tell me if you're really there. Don't make me fall in love again…

I had said to myself that I wouldn't be with Savannah so much to make a more grown-up impression in front of Keith, but after he had told me his age, I gave that up. After dinner I played cards with her and her fifteen-year-old brother and then watched Miracle on 34th Street with the rest of my cousins. How Keith would see me as an adult felt impossible when he had heard about me since I was three years old. I would be a little girl in his mind forever. 

I saw him drink whiskey, smoke a cigar with my uncle, and was loud in that obnoxious way only middle-aged men could be. My ex had been a boy, a boy who liked tennis and Fortnite. I shook my head to myself when I thought about it but still felt an exciting curiosity when I looked at him. He smiled at me a few times, and a couple of times I succeeded in smiling back, but that was the only contact we had the rest of the day until it was time for me to go to bed. 

After my brother, Savannah, and all the others had left, I helped my mom in the kitchen so there wouldn't be so much work to do the next day. Both of us could feel the tiredness in our eyes and bodies and looked at each other confused when we could still hear my dad laugh loudly from the living room. On past Christmas Days he had even fallen asleep before the guests had gone home, but now he listened to jazz, drank, and laughed with Keith in the living room. He seemed to have lost ten years on his age by having Keith there, and I could see my mom was annoyed. She probably wanted to be able to lie down in bed with him because she marched out to them and told him sourly it was time to go to bed. I smirked, amused in my loneliness, because with age, my mom's diva behavior started to become funny instead of scary or annoying. I walked up to my room, skipping on saying goodnight so I wouldn't need to wait for them to finish their nagging. I was tired and lost in thought, so I forgot an important thing: I wasn’t sleeping in my bedroom. It was loaned out to someone else, but I just walked in and, in my sleepiness, closed the door and started to take off my clothes. 

I thought about Keith's marriage while I pulled off my tights. Who was his wife? How long had they been married? 

I thought about their separation while I pulled off my dress. Why did she kick him out? Would they make up? 

I thought about who he was as a husband while I pulled off my bra. Was he loyal? Was he romantic? Was he a generous lover? 

When I stood in my panties, laying my clothes on an armchair in the corner of the room,I heard a creek and looked towards the door that was being opened determinedly. I concealed my chest but didn't do more than that to cover my modesty. In my mind it could only be my mother. No one else would just open my door like that, but in the doorframe stood Keith, so tall his messy hair licked the top of the doorframe. I looked towards him in confusion for a few seconds. His eyes showed shock at first, but then we both seemed to relax under each other's gaze. I could feel him looking at my body from top to toe, and I basked in how his eyes glittered.

“I can take the other bedroom…” he said as he smirked a little. The smirk made me feel a sensation take over me, and a need for rebellion came over me, so I let go of my chest slowly. Keith swallowed hard but his smile grew while dragged a hand over his face. He looked over his shoulder like he was afraid someone would come, but at that moment I didn't care. He pulled his lip and shook his head a little. 

“Um... Good night.” 

“Good night,” I said, with a teasing smile, playing with my hair while I walked to my bed, letting him see my breasts in motion. I didn't know where the confidence came from, probably just seeing his eyes swimming with attraction and his cheeks rosy. 

“Merry… Merry Christmas,” he mumbled before taking a last look and closing the door to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the door for a few seconds before starting to giggle. I couldn't believe I had done that. I couldn't believe how he had looked at me. Keith was a grown man. A tall, sexy man. 38 years old. But he was also a friend to my dad. 

×

[tinybeetiny]

Back to You: P.S

SMUT | 18+ | MDNI

Sigh I hate to admit it but I would 100000% run back to Seonghwa every single time

->Starring: Rockstar!SeonghwaXReader

->Genre: Smut, little bit of angst, fluff

->Cw: Explicit language, blowjob, cum eating

Masterlist | Ateez Masterlist | Rock Never Dies Masterlist

Seonghwa picked up his phone, his finger hovering hesitantly over your contact before pressing the call button. With each ring, his heart beats faster until "Hello?" your voice is soft and he's speechless for a moment "Seonghwa?" "Yeah, yeah I'm here" he breaths out. He hasn't heard your voice in a few months and he didn't realize how much he missed it, how much he missed you. "Are you okay?" His heart flutters at your question. Even after everything you still sound so caring "Uh yeah no I'm not okay. I know it's been a while and I know I'm the one who ended things but fuck (y/n) I miss you" It's silent and he's starting to regret calling you "I miss you too Hwa" you whisper so quietly that he almost misses, almost "Can I, Can I come see you? I just finished a show and I just really want to see you" his tone is hopeful and he hears you sigh on the other end "I don't know. It's late and what you said last time I-" He cuts you off "I know what I said and I can't tell you how sorry I am but I really don't want to do that over the phone. Please (y/n)." he knows how he sounds but he's desperate. He thought ending your relationship was for the best, he could focus on the band more but it did the opposite. His mind has been filled with thoughts of you and guilt. He knows he should've done this a long time ago but his pride got in the way, he's just happy you actually answered. "Okay." Did he hear you correctly? He did, he most certainly did “Really!? I’ll be over in 5 minutes.” he said before hanging up and hastily grabbing his things. He’s moving so fast he doesn’t notice his bandmates calling him “Hey. Where are you going?” “Are you good?” “Seonghwa?” Their words go in one and ear out the other.

Seonghwa arrives in front of your apartment building in record time. He flies up the stairs not wanting to wait for the elevator, his heart pounding with anticipation. He hasn't seen you in over three months. "Hi." He breathes out. You haven't changed a bit, still as breathtaking as he remembers "Hi Hwa" You say nervously "Do you want to come in?" 'ugh duh (y/n) he didn't come all this way to just stand in the hallway' you think as you internally cringe "Oh um, if you're cool with it" You nod before stepping aside and inviting him in. He looks around the apartment noticing the little changes to the decor "You got a fish?" He points to the little tank in the living room. You let a little chuckle "That would be Mars. He eats a lot." His eyes light up at the name. You motion him to sit on the couch and you occupy the space next to him "Sooo... how ya been?" You ask looking down at your lap "I've been okay, just super busy with the band and touring. What about you? How are you?" You let out a small breath "Honestly... Not so good." Seonghwa grabs both of your hands "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You don't know how stupid I felt after I left you, how stupid I still feel. I know I should've reached out sooner but I figured you didn't want to hear from me" you shake your head "I waited for you to call" and his heart clenches "Fuck (y/n) I'm so so sorry. I know there's no excuse and I know I'm an idiot and you shouldn't forgive me bu-" You cut him off with a kiss. He wastes no time kissing you back, sighing at the feeling of your lips on his. He pulls you closer to him and you climb onto his lap, straddling him. You turn your head, deepening the kiss and his hands find the plush of your ass. The sound of lips smacking and little moans fill your apartment and your hips subconsciously grind against his.

You climb off his lap and drop to the floor reaching for his zipper but he stops you "You know you don't have to do this" You give him a little smile "I know Hwa but I want to do this" He leans back as you unbutton his jeans, slowly pulling them down his legs. You gasp when his cock springs out almost hitting you in the face. You drool at the sight of his angry red tip that was just begging for some type of release. You grab ahold of the base and he sucks in a breath. You press a sweet kiss to his tip before giving it a little kitten lick savoring the salty taste of his precum on your tongue. A dribble of spit falls from your mouth landing on his tip and you use your hand to spread it around. He lets out a little sigh, he really missed you. Your lips finally wrap around his mushroom head giving it a small suck and he swears he could cum just from that. When you move your head down Seonghwa takes your hair in a makeshift ponytail, not pulling just holding it in place. You start to bob your head up and down starting at a slower pace, your hand stroking whatever you can't fit. You feel his grip on your hair tightening as you speed up "That's right baby. Suck it just like that. So good for me" His words make you moan around him. His breathy moans are so sweet, a contrast to his harsh grip on your hair. The pain on your scalp only seems to encourage you as you hollow out your cheeks to take him further. You look up to see his head thrown back and his chest moving with each breath. With a small push, he pushes his cock deeper hitting the back of your throat, causing you to gag “Oh shit. Hold on baby m’gonna cum” his hands go to stop you it only causes you to move your head faster. Your eyes roll as he cums, thick ropes of white painting your throat. You pull off his cock swallowing his load, some of it dribbling down your chin. You open your mouth and stick your tongue out showing him you swallowed every bit "Good girl. Such a good girl for me" he sighs his hand caressing the side of your head and you lean into his touch "I love you (y/n) and I just wish I could take everything back" You give him a small smile "Well I guess you just gotta make it up to me"

Taglist: @e3ellie @yoonshiiu @yunlazia @jonghoslilstar @sugakooie

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[nicoline1998enilocin]

Our Christmas | Christmas Special 2024

PAIRING || Fiancé! Tony Stark x Fiancée! Female! Reader

WORDCOUNT || 7.6K

SUMMARY || You've been working on preparing the best Christmas celebration you have ever had with the Avengers and other loved ones, and tonight is the night that all your hard work will come to life. From a delicious dinner to the most fun game of Secret Santa you've ever seen, it will surely be a night that will go down in history as one to never forget.

RATING || Explicit (E)

WARNINGS/TAGS || Established relationship, former sugar relationship, age gap romance, lots of domestic fluff, lots of PDA, use of mistletoe, explicit sexual content.

SMUT || Teasing, hickeys/lovebites, quickie, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), fingering, spanking, hair pulling, cream pie, biting, begging, dirty talk, breeding kink, pregnancy kink.

A/N || Merry Christmas! I'm incredibly grateful for everything that my time on Tumblr has brought me this past year, and I'm happy to be able to share my stories with you all, too. I also want to give my special thanks and love to my best friend and the person I love the most on this earth - @ccbsrmsf1. I love you bestie, thank you for everything you have done for me this past year! 🤍

EVENTS @anyfandomfluffbingo || Edible underwear @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || (Catching) fire @fandom-free-bingo Pride || Queer cat parent @fandom-free-bingo Pride || Free space + “Be gay, do crime.”

@fictionaldelightsbingo Under The Sea || Finding safety at their lovers side + Free space + Gift exchange @julybreakbingo Post-JBB || Found family + “We shouldn’t do this.” @seasonaldelightsbingo Sweater Season || Cookies @tonystarkbingo Round 8 || Marriage

All the graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark || Sugar Daddy! Tony Stark

“Can you hand me that ornament?” you ask your fiancé, Tony, as you’re standing on a step stool to decorate the Christmas tree in the communal living room you share with the Avengers. You might as well have been talking to a ghost because he is much busier ogling you than he is with paying attention to what he’s supposed to do until you snap him out of it.

“Tony, hey! My ornament, please?” You snap your fingers a couple of times in front of his face, a chuckle audible as he shakes his head to return to reality. He had drifted off into a daydream when he saw some skin on your back as your Christmas sweater had lifted, and he immediately thought back to the way his fingers grazed that spot earlier today as he had you bent over on the bed.

“I- uhm, sorry,” he says shyly, reaching for the red and gold ornament you’ve asked him twice for. His cheeks are flushed with a deep red color, making him look adorable as you take the ornament from his hand, your fingers brushing past one another as you do. Your lips curl into a smile as you take a moment to take in the sight before you - a shy Tony whose cheeks have turned redder than ever before, all because he got caught in the middle of a daydream.

“It’s okay, Handsome. Just don’t let it happen again, okay?” A wink follows your words, and Tony nods before quickly turning around and grabbing two more ornaments for you to use. Your two cats, Sun and Moon, are napping in one of the countless cat beds you have strewn all over your penthouse and communal living spaces, and he melts a little at the sight.

“Aren’t they adorable like this?” You come down from your step stool as you stand beside your fiancé. He hums in approval, and you two stand there for a few more moments before you grab one of the ornaments from his hands and return to decorating the tree because there’s still much to do before your Secret Santa tonight.

“Do you want to help me bake the cookies once this is done? I want to make a few different kinds, and I think they-” motioning at your cats “-will be napping for a while longer. She doesn’t need another bottle until dinner either, so I think it might be fun to make some Christmas cookies together.”

“Hmm, there’s nothing else I would love more than to help you, Sugar,” Tony says as he comes to stand behind you, his hand lying on your ass as he does.

“Can you two keep your hands to yourselves? Not everyone wants to see you two touching each other like that every time they walk into a room,” a familiar voice says. You laugh loudly, and Tony doesn’t move his hand as he turns his head.

“Careful, or I’ll tell Laura you’re staring at us while we’re having an intimate moment!” Tony quips back at Clint, who picked up one of his arrows that stayed behind after cleaning them earlier. The archer flips him off with a chuckle before leaving you two to what you were doing. You have gotten rather close with all of the Avengers, and it isn’t uncommon for Clint to call you two out during moments like this, but you don’t mind because you know it comes from a place of love.

After one more squeeze, Tony lets go of you to grab the last ornaments needed to finish decorating. When you’re done, you take a step back to admire your hard work in full. You feel your fiancé’s hands slipping onto your waist and his chest pressing against your back, and a flutter of butterflies goes wild in your stomach at the closeness.

“You did an amazing job as always, Sugar. ‘M so proud of you!” His words are emphasized by a few soft kisses on your head that have you smiling wide. As you’re standing here together, you take a moment to bask in the closeness, and Tony can’t help but do the same as he nuzzles his nose into your hair, your sweetly scented shampoo reminding him of some amazing things you’ve shared.

“I love you, Tony, but we’re on a bit of a tight schedule, so it’s time to bake cookies now!” you let him know, and he chuckles before letting you go, his cheeks still showing the flush from earlier when you turn around. Your hands cup his cheeks before standing on your tiptoes and kissing the tip of his nose, which warms his cheeks under your fingers.

“I love you too, Sugar. Thank you for brightening my days,” he whispers, and you smile at him before letting go and making your way to the kitchen. Tony gently picks up the bed that Sun and Moon are lying on. They don’t seem to be disturbed as he takes them to the kitchen where you’re getting some supplies ready, and the oven is already preheating.

Over the next two and a half hours, you and Tony spend some much-needed quality time in the kitchen - from preparing the different kinds of cookie dough to cutting them out, baking and decorating them, it’s like you two are a well oiled machine with the way you two are going at it.

“Ready for the last batch to go in?” you ask Tony as he’s finishing a few sugar cookies that are being piped to look like snowflakes. Never in a million years would you have guessed that someone like him would be good at decorating cookies, but in hindsight, you’re not surprised at all - he has very skilled hands after all.

“Absolutely! And when they’re in, I think it’s time we take a small break until they’re done!” The enthusiasm with which he says it has you raising your eyebrow in a questioning way, though you also can’t help but melt a little at how excited he is at the thought of taking a break with you.

“It’s not like I could every say no to you and your cute face,” you tell him with a chuckle, which makes a dark red flush appear on his cheeks. While he has the art of complimenting you down to perfection, he still has a long way to go when it comes to receiving compliments, and you can’t help but look at him in awe when he turns into the shy boy you’ve come to know and love, too.

As soon as the cookies are in the oven, Tony guides you to sit on the bit of space on the counter that he cleared. He steps between your legs before pulling you towards the edge.

“Much better,” he murmurs with a small smile before trailing some kisses over your jaw and down your neck, his teeth sometimes nipping at your sensitive spots as you moan only loud enough for the two of you to hear. His fingers dig into your thighs while yours are tugging gently on his chocolate brown locks, the moment making it feel like you’re floating and going to heaven.

“Tony,” you moan softly, his lips curling into a smirk as he nips at your jaw. Your entire body feels like it is on fire from the time he spent leaving his marks. Unfortunately, the moment is rudely interrupted by the dinging of the oven, letting you know that your last batch of gingerbread cookies is ready to be taken out.

As soon as your fiancé steps away, you feel like a piece of you is missing, and the room has turned significantly colder without him being this close to you. Thankfully, you don’t have to wait long for his return because as soon as the cookies are on the cooling rac, he’s back in his original spot, his hands now cupping your cheeks.

“Have I told you that you look beautiful today?” Even though it’s a relatively straightforward question, you can’t help but feel like your entire body is catching fire as he asks it. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes, every last bit feels like it’s blushing as you try to hide your face in his neck, but to no avail - he won’t let you hide that easily.

“Oh no, there’s no hiding from me, Sugar! Now that you’ve said yes to marrying me, I will tell you even more how much I love you and how beautiful you are. So I suggest you better get used to it while you can.” The smirk on his lips makes you melt in his hold, and you lean forward to kiss his lips gently. It’s followed by a kiss on the tip of your nose, and then Tony steps back, ready to help you off the counter.

As soon as your legs are steady again, Tony kisses your head, making you smile like an idiot, before turning around to get ready to do some more decorating of the cookies. Tonight, you’ll be doing Secret Santa with the Avengers and tasked to ensure there are plenty of snacks for everyone, and baking for them is a love language you’ll happily indulge in.

“If you continue the sugar cookies, I’ll do these gingerbread cookies while Sun’s bottle is warming up, okay? I saw she’s awake again, so I think I’m giving her an early bottle today,” you tell Tony, who wholeheartedly agrees. Soon after, the bottle for your kitten, Sun, is warming while she and Moon are playing with a toy already in their cat bed, making the most adorable of noises as they do.

Once all the cookies are done, you let out a sigh of relief as you look at them, pride flowing through your body as Tony places his hands on your shoulders while standing behind you. Neither of you can stop smiling as you let yourself melt into his touch for a moment, the warmth of his body welcomed more than ever.

“I’ll get our blanket ready if you get her bottle, okay? Then we can maybe watch a movie as we cuddle with our babies,” Tony offers, and you happily agree with his idea. Once you’re on the couch - both your and Tony’s legs are covered by a large blanket, Moon is in Tony’s arms, and Sun is in yours as she drinks from her bottle of milk - you feel a moment of peace come over you as you put your head on your husband-to-be’s shoulder.

“Where do you want to get married?” Tony asks, and for a moment, it’s completely silent. You’ve thought of many places where you could tie the knot, but lately, one place stands out when you think about it.

“Well, I have some thoughts, but you can always say no if you don’t want to do it, okay?” you ask, and he nods in agreement.

“It may sound silly, but ever since I proposed to you, I’ve been secretly doing some wedding planning on the side - nothing major, of course, just figuring out where I want to get married, what type of dress I like, things like that - and there’s one thing that I think will make our wedding day perfect. I’ve been going through many files and found out that your Mom and Dad got married in Italy, and I think it would be a beautiful honor to get married in the same place as them.”

Tony’s mouth is slightly agape as he looks at you with an adoring look, tears forming at his waterline as he lets the news settle in that you’ve thought about getting married in the same place as his parents, even though you never had the chance to meet them. Your thumb wipes away some of the tears trickling down his cheek, and he nods enthusiastically as he doesn’t trust his voice right now.

“Without them getting married there, I never would have had the chance to get to know and fall in love with you, Tony, so I think there’s nothing more fitting than the beginning of our marriage to be in the same place as theirs. It resulted in you, after all,” you tell him with a chuckle. He laughs loudly as he wipes the tears from his cheeks. Moon has shifted from his lap to his chest to comfort him as well.

“It’s okay, Buddy, Daddy’s not sad. Mommy just made him so happy he couldn’t hold back his tears,” Tony says gently as he kisses Moon between his ears, who purrs audibly. Your mouth curls into a smile as you look at them, and Tony looks at you before leaning over and kissing your cheek. You’ve been thinking about it for months, and now that you’ve finally told Tony about your idea, you’re even more excited to say yes to him one day.

“What do you think I should wear to dinner?” you ask Tony, holding up two dress options. One is a stunning black off-shoulder dress highlighting all your curves, and the other is a low-cut red velvet dress with gold accessories. While he gifted you both options not too long ago, you’ve been indecisive about what to wear, and you’re hoping that his choosing for you will make it easier, though there isn’t really a choice. You already know which one he’ll pick between these two.

“Hmm, while I know you will look beautiful in both, I think I’m choosing the burgundy for tonight and the black one for when we go out for dinner on New Year’s Eve,” he offers, and your mouth curls into a smile as this is exactly what you anticipated would happen. If there’s one thing Tony loves, it is you dressing in his colors, and the excited flush on his cheeks makes him even cuter than he already is.

“Thank you,” you whisper before pecking him on the lips and turning around, leaving him breathless as he discovers you were hiding some deep red lingerie behind the dresses you showed him. The sway of your hips immediately has him wanting more of you, and he can’t help but follow, the belt he was putting on now being discarded on his way into the large walk-in closet.

Before you’ve had a chance to properly hang up the black dress and lie the red one down, you feel your fiancé’s hands gently digging into your hips, his lips already on the sensitive spot in your neck as he groans softly, his pants growing tighter by the second.

“You’re such a little tease tonight, huh? First, showing me the red dress, knowing full well that’s the one I’d pick, and then revealing you’re only wearing some of your sluttiest lingerie for me? You’ve been serving yourself on a pretty platter for me to enjoy, right?”

His words come out in a breathy voice, his rapidly hardening length already poking against your lower back as your head falls to the side, giving him all the access he wants while your chest rises and falls quicker as your heart rate and breathing are faster than before.

“Tony, we- we shouldn’t do this right now,” you say with a giggle, as he’s already moving to unbutton his pants with one hand, his other hand kneading your breast as he looks over your shoulder at what he’s doing. He hums as an answer, knowing you want this just as much as he does right now. As your eyes slip shut, you can hear the distinct sound of the zipper being pulled down, which elicits a soft moan from you.

“Is that so? Well, I think that if I were to slip my fingers in your lacey little panties, your sweet pussy would tell me something different,” he says, and without missing a beat, he does exactly that. Your legs spread a little to make room for the thickness of his digits sliding through your soaked folds, an excited hum audible as he takes his time to play with your sensitive clit.

“Please!” The word comes out in a soft whine, your head falling against his shoulder as Tony’s cock throbs in excitement, his hand wrapped around it as he gently strokes himself. Without warning, he bends you over the large dresser that’s in the middle of the closet, your ass being beautifully exposed as he does. With the hand that’s now free, he lands two loud slaps on your ass, that have you moaning loudly.

“That’s it, moan for me like a good slut,” he encourages you before pulling your panties to the side and sliding his tip into your tight pussy, still well aware of the fact that even though you two don’t have much time, he doesn’t want to hurt you by giving you more than you can take, either. With clenched teeth, he takes the time to stretch you, your mind slowly going blank as you grab onto the dresser’s edge as he does.

“Such a perfect girl, letting Daddy fuck her whenever his dick gets hard from you walking around like this.”

A brutal pace follows the words as he bends himself over your back, his hand being placed on your throat without squeezing, giving him enough leverage to fuck you senseless. Your moans turn louder and louder with every thrust, his thickness sliding in and out effortlessly as your pussy gushes around him constantly. As your orgasm quickly builds, you grab Tony’s hair to pull on it, which is followed by him biting down on your shoulder while the pleasure builds rapidly.

“D-Daddy, fuck- I’m c-close!” you tell him, your words barely audible as the pleasure is taking over every fiber of your being, your blood feeling like lava inside your veins as the pleasure takes you under until you’re clenching down on your fiancé’s cock, which is followed by his orgasm as he cums deep inside you with a loud groan of your name.

“Take it, fucking take my cum- You’ll get so fucking pregnant tonight, I’m sure of it,” he groans as he’s panting above you, a small layer of sweat on your skin as you’re coming down from your high. For a moment, you cannot say a single thing as you’re shaking and trembling in your future husband’s hold, his cock still nestled deep inside you despite him having gone soft and being overly sensitive.

“I love you, my sweet, beautiful, and amazing Sugar,” he whispers as he kisses the sensitive bite mark he left on your shoulder - it’s not enough to have drawn blood. Still, it definitely will bruise, and you’ll wear his mark with pride as you’re having dinner with the Avengers and all the others soon. With a dopey smile on your face, you get back up before putting your panties back in place, ensuring Tony’s cum will stay nestled inside you for as long as possible.

“Will you help zip me up, Handsome?” you ask Tony not long after you’ve slipped into the dress, though it took you quite some time to finally regain your composure without trembling on your legs like a baby deer. He’d done a real number on you and your body when he took you like he couldn’t wait any longer, but you wouldn’t change it for the world, especially after seeing his fucked out face when he tried to get himself looking decent again.

“Hmm, I’d rather help you get it off, not on,” his words followed by a chuckle as you roll your eyes at his comment, but he still does what you asked. As you take a moment to smooth out the fabric of your dress while looking at yourself in the mirror, he stands behind you, one of his hands sliding from your hip to your belly as he crosses your gaze.

“You’ll be the most beautiful woman ever when you carry my baby.” The words come out as more of a whisper, but they still set your cheeks on fire as you cover his large hand with your significantly smaller one. There’s a comfortable silence between you two as you bask in the closeness and the thought that Tony has thought about the way you look while pregnant. You two have discussed babies before but haven’t ever gotten too deep into it, so while it isn’t a huge surprise, it still makes your heart beat faster from excitement.

After a few more moments together, it’s finally time for you and Tony to go to the communal kitchen, where the dining table has already been set, and the private chefs Tony hired to prepare a delicious Christmas dinner have been working hard to make your evening unforgettable. However, before you two can head there, he has a small surprise for you.

“It might be a bit silly, but I hung up a surprise for us in the living room,” Tony tells you, his cheeks slightly red as he confesses to his actions. While you have a feeling you know what he did, you still go and check it out to be sure - and your hunch was correct. In your favorite spot - in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Manhattan - is a mistletoe, which makes you smile broadly. While it might be a simple gesture to most people, it’s a massive one to you as you stand underneath it, your hand outstretched for him to join.

“It appears a mistletoe has suddenly appeared, so it’s only fitting we honor the tradition that comes with it,” you say. Tony smiles brightly as he steps in front of you, his fingers intertwining with yours before he ducks his head slightly, kissing your lips softly, making the world around you feel like it’s fading. There’s nothing other than you and Tony, your lips on his, and your souls connecting right now.

You two are only pulled from your moment when you feel a familiar feeling against your leg as your cat Moon pushes his body against it, wanting some attention, too. He follows it with a few soft meows, and you can’t help but smile as you pull away from your fiancé’s lips. Your black cat, Moon, is known for interrupting moments like this when he feels like getting attention, and he’s too spoiled not to do it, seeing how you give in every time.

“I believe someone else might want some attention, too, don’t you, Moon?” You ask as you let your hand glide over his back, a soft purr audible as you do. Tony takes a step back to admire how you interact because even though he prefers to be with Tony most of the time, he also loves getting attention from you, and you’re more than happy to give it to him every time he asks for it. Your mind flashes back to when you first rescued him when he was a little kitten, and he has come from far to be where he is now - a spoiled, well-loved cat with all his heart desires and more.

“Shall we take you and your little sister to dinner with us? Maybe Bucky will bring Miss Alpine too, and all three of you can have some fun, too,” you ask, and Moon immediately meows in response. He always brings a smile to your face, making you fall in love with him more every day as you look at him and the cat he has become since you rescued him a few years ago.

“Let’s head to the kitchen, Sugar. I’m starting to get hungry after you’ve worn me out the way you did,” your fiancé says with a small smile, though you both know it was him who wore you out when he fucked you the way he did not too long ago. Still, you happily agree before taking his hand and leading him to the elevator, Moon following closely behind.

While you open the elevator doors, Tony picks up a cat bed from the couch, where Sun is napping. Moon is patiently waiting for his Dad to join you both. Your face splits into an excited smile as soon as he comes into sight, and as usual, your happiness cannot be contained as you look at how handsome he looks in his black suit. He often wears suits for work, but something about him wearing all black has you squeezing your thighs in excitement.

He pecks your lips softly as the elevator doors close, and soon, you find yourself getting the last things ready in the dining room, which is already lavishly decorated with every last bit of Christmas decoration known to man. Just as you’re about to light the last few candles on the table, you’re suddenly stopped by your best friend and Avenger, Natasha, as she puts a hand on your shoulder.

“I know you two have a thing for marking one another, but this…” Natasha says with a small smirk. “...I approve,” she follows with a wink, making your cheeks set on fire as she examined the bite mark Tony left earlier. It’s less red than before, but the bruising is already starting to happen, making it more evident than you thought. You still wear it with pride, showing your commitment to the man you love. It also gives you a mental note to mark him up like this at some point so he can walk around wearing your marks, too.

Once everything is ready, everyone slowly shows up. Steve and Bucky come in wearing simple black-and-white suits, their fingers intertwined, while Bucky carries Alpine in his free arm. Clint and Laura walk in looking beautiful in their matching purple dress and suit. Thor and Loki are dressed in the finest Asgardian clothing, making them look out of this world, and Bruce and Natasha have gone for classic black.

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” Tony asks as he stands up, the conversations between everyone slowly dying down before there’s nothing but silence - apart from the soft purring audible from the three cats that are having the time of their life during this Christmas dinner with all the attention they’re getting.

“I want to thank you all for being here tonight because it wouldn’t have been as fun if some of you were missing. If there is one thing that the past year has taught me, it’s nothing more important than being with the people you love, and I’m happy to see you all. Everyone here tonight has a special place in my heart, and I’m happy to say you’re all part of my big, found family. None of us would be here tonight without one another,” he says with a slight smile, and everyone agrees.

“One thing I don’t say nearly enough times is that even though some of us may have had our differences before, I love you all deeply. And I love the furry babies - Sun, Moon, and Alpine, too. They brighten everyone’s days in ways they’re probably unaware of, but they are playing a big role in our lives, and I can’t get enough of their silly moments.”

“But there’s one person who I want to mention especially. Without her, I wouldn’t have been able to believe I was worthy of being loved, and I wouldn’t have been able to love myself. Sugar, I cannot thank you enough for showing me every day what it is like to be loved and being with me throughout everything we’ve been through. It’s surely not been easy, but without you, I wouldn’t have gotten through it at all, and I’m thankful that you’re the love of my life. You have made me believe in love again, and I cannot wait to marry you in a few months. I love you,” he finishes his little speech, which has brought tears to your eyes as you smile up at your future husband.

“I love you too, Tony,” you whisper before getting up and kissing him, sealing his words with a promise of loving him for the rest of your lives together. He may be quite a few years older than you, but you’re still looking forward to spending your best years with him as you grow your family. And you know he’ll look very handsome as a silver fox. Applause slowly erupts around the table when you two pull each other into a tight embrace, and there is not a single dry eye in the room when you’re sitting down again, ready to finish dinner before getting ready for Secret Santa.

Once everyone is done having dinner, it’s finally time for the main event of the evening: a gift exchange in the form of Secret Santa. Everyone is spread out on different colored loveseats brought in from any place anyone could think of, ample chairs, and the floor around the fireplace, which burns in the communal living room area. There’s a comfortable atmosphere as everyone sips on a drink and converses until Tony grabs everyone’s attention again, wanting to get started.

“So, it’s only right that the first person to give their gift away will be this beautiful woman next to me, as she has graciously put this evening together for everyone. Will you do the honors, Sugar?” Tony asks softly. You nod before pecking him on the lips and getting up. The present is wrapped in a cylindrical package and topped with a large purple bow.

“Merry Christmas, Clint,” you say as you hand him the present, but you can’t get too far as he pulls you in for a hug while murmuring his thanks to you. With a large smile, you walk back to the loveseat you and Tony share before getting comfortable with his arm wrapped around your shoulder. Once seated, he kisses your cheek before looking at Clint, who’s quickly unwrapping his present.

“Oh my god-” is all he can bring out before he’s out of his seat and running over to you, pulling you in a hug while you’re still half in Tony’s hold. He uttered about a hundred thank yous as you two hugged. You have thought of the perfect gift, so make a mental note to thank Shuri when you speak to her again. When he finally lets you go, he cannot stop smiling as he looks at the Vibranium arrows he received from you, which were specially made by Shuri. He’s wanted some for a long time, and these will be perfect for taking on missions with him.

“Okay, now it’s my turn! Here you go,” he says to Bucky, who’s sitting one seat over. After a small thank you, he takes the tissue paper out of the bag he’s been given and pulls out two presents that make him laugh and nod in approval. He receives a mug with the text ‘Queer cat parent,’ as well as a shirt that reads ‘Be gay, do crime.’ It’s like they were made just for him.

After gently putting the presents to the side, he grabs a small package wrapped in black and gold paper and hands it to his oldest friend—other than Steve, of course—Natasha. She takes her time opening it, and when she finally does, she gasps loudly as she examines the set of custom Vibranium knives that Bucky has gifted her. The blades are of different lengths and all black, while the handles are deep red, resembling blood.

“I- wow. Thank you, Bucky,” she says as her cheeks turn dark red. While she would have been happy with any other type of knife, too, something about these has her appreciating him even more than she already did. They match her black widow aesthetic beautifully, and she’s either looking at them or doing tricks with them the rest of the night, showing off her expert knife skills.

“Before I give my gift away, I need to thank someone very special. Tony, thank you for helping me out with this present because, without you, I still would have been deciding what to give. You’re the best friend anyone could wish for, and Detka, you’re a pretty lucky lady with a man like yours,” she tells you, and then grabs her significantly sized gift from the pile in the middle of the circle you’re all sitting in.

“Merry Christmas!” Natasha practically drops the gift in Bruce’s lap because it is so heavy, a loud huff audible as it lands on his thighs. His glasses slide down his nose, and he quickly slides them back up before tearing the wrapping paper off to find a collection of science books he’s been dreaming of for years.

“I know you don’t like to spend money on yourself, so Tony figured it would be the perfect present-” is all she can say before her words are cut off with a kiss - it might not be the first one they’ve ever shared, but it is the first one they’re sharing in front of everyone. Other than you - Natasha told you as soon as they became official - no one knew that they’ve been secretly dating for a few months now, and tonight is the night they’re finally coming out with their secret, even if it wasn’t planned this way.

As you look at them with a smirk, Tony pulls you closer to him before whispering, “You knew about this, didn’t you?” With the same smirk on your face, you turn to him as you nod proudly, as you want nothing more than to see your best friend happy and in love. Then, when all the excitement in the room died down, it was Bruce’s turn to gift his present, and he got a beautiful pair of diamond earrings for Laura after Clint recommended that he get some.

“They’re lovely, Bruce. Thank you so much,” she says shyly, a blush on her cheeks as she takes in their beauty, almost forgetting that it’s now her turn to give someone their present. It turns out that now it is Tony’s turn, and he would never in a million years have been able to prepare for the gift he has gotten. Inside the bag is a set of edible underwear for you and him to enjoy as an engagement present, as well as two Santa hats - one for him and one for Moon - and a brooch with a matching tie pin in the form of a Sun, so you two can always carry your little girl close to your heart.

It doesn’t take long for Tony to put on the Santa hat and the one meant for Moon, even if he isn’t the biggest fan. Eventually, he warms up to the idea. Happily, he returns to his cuddle pile with Alpine and Sun while wearing it, which means everyone takes countless photos of the inseparable trio.

“Now that you’re wearing the Santa hat, does that mean I get to sit on your lap tonight and tell you what I want for Christmas?” you ask as you gently rake your nails over his chest, making goosebumps appear all over his body. He quickly nods in approval, not trusting the words that’ll come out of his mouth if he opens it. Then, as most drinks are now empty, you and Tony offer to fill up some drinks, and he quickly pulls you out of the room to get away for a moment.

“Tony?” you say as you’re in the kitchen, waiting for him to grab a few cartons of egg nog. He pokes his head around the fridge to look at you, his Santa hat swinging as he does. You smile as you look at his adorable expression.

“I know I asked you if I could tell you what I want for Christmas, but I already have everything and more right in front of me. I have an amazing future husband who takes care of every need and two amazing cats that are the light of my life,” you say, and Tony blushes deeply as you tell him. He’s still getting used to you saying things like this, even after being together for as long as you two have now.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest little thing?” he asks before closing the fridge door and walking over to where you’re standing. He leans in to kiss you softly, taking your breath away as he does. It’s a sweet, loving kiss that has your heart beating faster and the butterflies in your mind go wild. While you’re unsure if it’s possible, you love him even more than you did before, and his sweet words will melt your heart every time.

When he pulls away, you’re both standing there with wide grins on your faces, wanting the moment to last just a little longer as you intertwine your fingers with his.

“I love you so much, Tony. Thank you for choosing me every single day.”

“Thank you for being with me through my good and bad days. I love you more than I can ever describe.” His words make tears gather in your eyes as he pulls you in for a hug, sealing his words until it’s finally time to head back.

Before heading back to the gift exchange, you grab a few cartons of egg nog to ensure there is enough for everyone, and it is divided rapidly among everyone, allowing you to sit on the couch again. Tony pulls you to his side, where your fiancé feels safest. He knows he can always find safety at your side, and the ease with which he sinks into your body shows it.

“So, uhm- My turn?” Tony asks as he rakes his fingers through his dark brown locks, and everyone hums in agreement. He gets up with a small gift, but you know exactly what’s inside as you smile broadly. Thor is the recipient this time, and as he rips open the package, he finds a silver necklace with a thunder pendant on it and a voucher for a lifetime supply of his favorite pop-tarts.

“You two are the best, thank you!” he says, his Australian accent thickening as the night progresses. When he gets tired, it always gets more noticeable, and it never fails to make you smile. It’s Thor’s turn to give the gift he has gotten, and it is Steve’s turn to open it. Inside is an extensive palette of the most beautiful paints you have ever seen, and Steve can’t stop smiling as he examines every color with a careful eye.

“Thank you, Thor. These are amazing! I can’t wait to get some use out of them as I finish the portrait of Bucky I’ve been working on!” Steve says proudly, though his partner is less impressed as he turns bright red, knowing that Steve is working on a nude portrait of Bucky. Still, he smiles as he looks at the colors, too, and they’re some of the brightest, most beautiful colors he has ever seen.

“At this point, only two people are left to receive a gift, and I’m sorry to say you’ll have to wait a little longer, Y/N!” Steve says as he hands Loki a square package, which he graciously accepts. You smile in appreciation at Steve’s words, though you don’t mind being last because you enjoy everyone else opening their presents just as much as you love opening them yourself.

As Loki gently opens the package, he finds a large, handmade cloak with an emerald green lining, a black outside, and a beautiful pattern of swirls in thin gold thread. The clasp that keeps it closed is gold, which matches his other garments beautifully. He immediately tries it on, getting many nods and words of approval as the gold detailing shimmers in the light coming from the fireplace and Christmas tree lights.

“Now, I hope that I will have saved the best for last,” Loki says as he gifts you a square gift wrapped with emerald green paper, letting you know exactly who it came from.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N,” he says as you take it from him, the anticipation nearly becoming too much as you’re excited to see what is inside. Once you open it, you immediately gasp at the sight. Inside is a customized stethoscope that has your initials on it, but instead of the initial of your maiden name, it’s an ‘S’ for Stark because you’ll soon be Mrs. Stark, of course.

“I am speechless,” you say as you pick it up to examine it closer, the silver shining back at you as you fight the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. It doesn’t often happen that someone gives you such a thoughtful gift, but it warms your heart to know Loki had it made for you to use in the long run, as it’ll proudly show the initial of Tony’s last name.

“Thank you, Loki. It means a lot that you got me this,” you say as you get up to hug him, too, wanting to give him an extra special thank you. He then whispers another Merry Christmas before letting you go and sitting back down, the stethoscope proudly hanging around your neck. Once everyone has opened their gifts, it’s time to thoroughly check them out until it’s time for everyone to call it a night and head to bed.

As soon as you’re back in your penthouse with Sun and Moon - vast asleep in their cat tower - Tony pulls you to the bedroom to get some much-needed cuddles. The past few days have been nothing but stress and running around to get everything ready on time, but now that you have had a successful Christmas dinner and Secret Santa, you can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

“I think I’m going to sleep the entire day tomorrow because I’m not getting up for anything or anyone after the days I’ve had,” you say with a chuckle as you take off the dress you’re wearing. Once you’re left in your lingerie, Tony unhooks the bra before you let it fall to the floor and walk over to the dresser, where you have your comfortable cotton panties, together with Tony’s shirts, waiting for you.

“Hmm, as long as you’ll be awake long enough for me to gift you one last present tomorrow, then we’re all good,” he says with a chuckle before disappearing into the en-suite bathroom, ready to do his nighttime routine. You follow shortly after, wearing nothing more than the panties and Tony’s shirt you picked out, ready to brush your teeth and call it a night.

“I think I’ll be able to manage that. But I don’t want to be awake before 10 AM, okay? A girl deserves to sleep in now and again.” He looks at you through your mirror, and you smile as he raises a brow in response. Still, he wouldn’t dare go against your wishes because he is always willing to give you everything you’ve ever asked for, and if sleeping in until 10 AM is what you want, then that’s what you’ll get.

Once you’re finally in bed and tucked away under the soft sheets, you quickly fall asleep with your future husband against your back, his large hand splayed over your belly and his face buried in your neck. The following day, Tony is up bright and early again, but he won’t wake you up before 10 AM, just like you asked, instead going to the kitchen to do some meal prep for you and the two long shifts you have ahead of you before New Year’s Eve, as well as making breakfast.

Then, at precisely the time you mentioned, Tony wakes you up as the smell of pancakes and coffee fills the air, and the sheets feel tighter by your feet, which means Sun and Moon have joined the two of you.

“Good morning, Sugar. It’s 10 AM, and I have one more surprise for you,” he says. You smile before nodding and getting comfortable in bed, your back against the headboard as a pillow supports your lower back. Soon, Tony is back on his side of the bed, with a present in his hand wrapped in gold and red wrapping paper, just like the colors of his Iron Man suit. After a whispered thank you, you quickly unwrap it to find a golden necklace with three charms. There’s a red ‘T,’ a small black Moon to represent your oldest cat, and an orange Sun to represent your kitten.

“Sadly, we can’t be together all the time due to me being gone for long missions sometimes, and you are working long shifts as the best surgeon SHIELD has ever known, but this way, you can carry us wherever you go, Sugar.”

“Tony… I love it. Thank you so much,” you say as your fingers glide over the beautiful charms, complementing each other perfectly. He has thought this gift through to the last little detail, and it’s the best present he has given you - apart from your engagement ring, of course. You lean in for a few kisses, his facial hair tickling your skin as he does, but you can’t stop smiling while holding the present.

“Would you like for me to put it on you?” You immediately nod, and it doesn’t take long for him to have the clasp closed, making it official. You’ll always be able to carry your husband-to-be and your cats with you, no matter where you’re going. While your Christmas was fantastic, it has become the perfect holiday. Now, you can finally look forward to being spoiled by your fiancé on New Year’s Eve, as it promises to be one never to forget.

[darth-jess]

Do you think as force ghosts obi wan and anakin talked about the injuries he got from their duel ?

Um absolutely and it may have gone something like this:

ANAKIN: *clears throat* so… OBI-WAN: What is it, Anakin? ANAKIN: So, I've spent the majority of the past few years apologizing for everything I did when I was alive… OBI-WAN: That's been very good of you, Anakin. It means a lot to everyone. Though… in all fairness, you’ve actually spent the majority of your time with Padmé. ANAKIN: Right. Well… 👉🏻👈🏻 is there maybe… anything you want to say to me? OBI-WAN: I'm very proud of you. ANAKIN: No, I mean… OBI-WAN: *sighs* You want to talk about the thing on Mustafar? ANAKIN: *slightly offended* The THING ON MUSTAFAR? Obi-Wan, you cut off all my limbs and watched me burn in lava. OBI-WAN: I should have known this was coming. ANAKIN: *raises hands* I'm just saying, I've spent a long time apologizing, I think maybe it's time… OBI-WAN: You really want me to apologize for that? ANAKIN: *shrugs* No, I just wanted to see if YOU wanted to apologize. OBI-WAN: Anakin, if I hadn't done that you would have killed me. I'm not sorry for trying to live. ANAKIN: But you could have just stabbed me, and I wouldn't have had to live in that horrible suit for the rest of my life. You could have just killed me, that would have been better. OBI-WAN: I mean, it all worked out though. You got to meet your son and your daughter, and you killed the Emperor… ANAKIN: Okay, sure. But why didn't you just kill me… OBI-WAN: Are you really going to make me say it? Again? ANAKIN: *smugly* yes. OBI-WAN: Fine. You are my brother, Anakin. I love you. That's why I couldn't kill you, and while I'm not sorry for… disarming you… I'm sorry for the pain you had to endure the rest of your life.

ANAKIN: *grinning* Awww Obi-Wan, you love me?

OBI-WAN: *sighs* Yes, Anakin. Not very Jedi-like I’m afraid. Though… your life support suit was quite… ANAKIN: That thing was awful. *shivers* OBI-WAN: But it did look… ANAKIN: If one more person tells me it looked kind of cool… *glares* OBI-WAN: I was going to say terrifying. [SILENCE] ANAKIN: …it did look a kind of cool though. OBI-WAN: A little.

[tagsecretsanta]

From @ajpendragon

From @ajpendragon to @cookidoughlilac

I had a lot of fun with this (and maybe made myself cry a little bit). I tried to focus on Jeff’s feelings about his first Christmas back with his boys, which was one of the prompts I received. Hopefully, it turned out okay!

Memory

He had forgotten just how comfortable this couch was in the last eight years. 

Jeff's boys were gathered around the tree, wrapping it in lights and ornaments in a show of teamwork that he could have only dreamed about the last time he had been here. Virgil sat at the piano, Christmas carols filling the room, his skills far better than Jeff remembered. Scott and John were working on the top of the tree, using their superior height to decorate without needing to find a ladder. Gordon and Alan were darting between their legs, hanging the most hideous ornaments they could find with peals of laughter. 

Jeff thought about getting up to help them, but no sooner did the idea cross his mind than his mother's arm tightened around his shoulders. "Don't even think about getting up." She ordered softly, passing him the chipped mug from the table next to her. The ‘World’s bestest dad’ in childish handwriting gleamed in the light. "Let them enjoy this. You enjoy this."

He took a long sip of his hot chocolate, enjoying the rich flavor as he swallowed. He had forgotten what chocolate tasted like. "I am enjoying this." He protested, unable to stop himself from savoring another sip before continuing. "I just want to help. I spent so long dreaming of this, and now that I'm back, I can't even join in."

"I know." She soothed. "But you need to rest. You're not up for it yet. Soon, but not yet. If you tried to help, they would just be worried about you. Just watch-"

The blaring of the emergency alarm interrupted her, all of the boys jumping together to listen as EOS quickly ran them through the situation. They quickly disappeared through their pictures, his mother retreating back to the office to coordinate, leaving him alone in the living room, staring at the half-finished tree.

***********************

It didn't take long after the boys left for him to get bored.  At least in space, there was always something that needed to be done: food to collect, repairs to make, watching for his boys on the ever-decreasing chance that they would come for him. But here, his only job was to rest and recover, relearn how to live on earth after so long. Honestly, it was incredibly boring. Not that he wasn't thankful. Every day he got to spend with his boys, with his mother, in his home, was a blessing he had honestly been so close to giving up hope of ever having again. But he was bored.

Rest and recover, according to his mother and sons, meant doing absolutely nothing. He knew they were right. After so long in space, earth was an environment his body had forgotten how to function in. It was difficult to walk, he was more tired than he could ever remember being before, he ached under the pressure of a gravity he had nearly forgotten the feeling of. But he wanted to do something. He needed to be doing something. His brain wouldn't let him rest while his family was out there, risking their lives for a world that had forgotten how much it owed them.

So, with a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching, he grabbed his cane and pushed himself to his feet. Pausing a moment to let his heart adjust to his body being upright, he slowly made his way to his bedroom. Once there, he carefully lowered himself to the ground, knees cracking as he settled in a comfortable spot on the plush carpet and reached under the bed.

The box he pulled out was old and dusty, left there for so long that even the cleaning bots had forgotten about it. He settled the cardboard carefully on his lap, blowing the dust off the lid and removing it to set it to the side, hands trembling as he pulled out the first of the box's contents.

**************

Thirty minutes later, one of his feet asleep from the unusual position, he set the box to the side and used the bed to leverage himself up. Taking a few moments to rest on the edge of the bed (and to shake his foot awake), he grabbed the box in his free hand and headed back to the Christmas tree. 

It took some careful maneuvering, and a lot of breaks, but he managed to finish his project before his boys returned. He was resting on the couch again when they came into the room, hair damp from post-mission showers, and clearly tired, although still in good spirits.

It took them a moment to notice the change, but one by one they each stopped in the middle of the floor, staring open-mouthed at the ornaments he had hung. He could see a suspicious sheen of tears in some of the older boys eyes.

On the front of the tree, hanging carefully from the sturdiest branches he had been able to find, were some of his most precious possessions: the ornaments each of the boys had made with their mother on their first Christmas. He had always kept them somewhere safe, refusing to trust such irreplaceable memories to the safety hazard that was their storage closet.

"I had almost forgotten about those. I thought they were lost." Scott breathed softly, his eyes never leaving the precious ornaments. He came over to the couch, curling his long frame up on the cushion next to Jeff, gently resting his head on his father's shoulder. Slowly, the rest of his brothers joined him, each settling themselves into a place where they could touch their father, seeming to need that reassurance. 

Jeff didn't mind. After eight long years, the reminder that he was no longer alone was something he desperately needed too. Eight years of his boys lives, eight Christmases, eight years of memories he had missed. He had forgotten what it felt like to be surrounded by love like this.

Sitting there, surrounded by the people he loved most in the world, the boys who had kept him going for all those long eight years, he vowed not to miss anything else. He would be there for his boys, no matter what. He could not, would not allow himself to forget this feeling. It was up to him now to make up for all those years, building new memories to move forward on. 

He was already forgetting the pain and struggle, the loneliness, of the last eight years. He could feel it slipping away, wrapped in the warmth of his family's embrace.

Memory was funny like that.

[melanieph321]

you asked for Kenan requests sooo

Can we get Kenan x goth!reader? With her introducing him to goth music and that type of stuff 👉🏻👈🏻

Such a good request! 😮‍💨

Kenan x Reader - Bodily Expressions

+18

Merry Christmas 🎅

Summary - Kenan pays for your new piercing to show his support as your boyfriend.

Enjoy! 🎄

"God, I can't look." Kenan turned his head, looking away as a piercing was inserted into the tips of your ear.

"Oh, come on, baby. I know it looks bad, but it's really not that painfully."

"Really?"

"Really." You assured. "Here, hold my hand if that helps."

"Okay." Kenan turned back to look at you, immediately regretting his decision seeing that the piercer was still going at it. His gaze quickly redirected towards your blank face, not at all affected by the needle in your ear.

"Just like that baby, step closer to me."

Kenan chuckled, carefully making his way towards you, taking your outstretched hands in his. "I'm not much support, aren't I?"

"Nah, you're doing great baby. I'm almost done."

He nodded his head, eventually finding enough courage to inspect your ear. You had always gone without him to the salon, but this time Kenan insisted that he'd take you, that you might need his emotional support.

"Fuck, is that blood?"

But something told you that he had never observed a person getting their ears pierced before.

"Your ear is bleeding baby, does it hurt?"

Janelle, your well trusted piercer, rolled her eyes heavenward. This was her first time meeting Kenan, and let's just say that he was nothing like your previous boyfriends.

"It's okay baby, really. Sometimes it bleeds, sometimes it doesn't, right Janelle?"

Her tattooed eyebrows twitched in response. Her sterilized gloves then reached for the little black pearls that would come to decorate your ear with yet another ornament. Your seventh piercing to be exact.

"There! All done." She said, tugging your earlobe. "Or do you need me to poke holes in all gaps of skin?"

"That's alright, I'm happy for now."

Kenan helped you out of your chair, towards a mirror where you shifted your head, inspecting your ear. "How much will that be for an Industrial?" You asked, pleased with the result.

"Don't worry. I got it baby."

Both you and Janelle froze in awe of Kenan, who stepped up to the cash register before you could.

"Ehm...what do you think you're doing?"

He flahsed you a cheeky smile, retrieving his wallet from his back pocket. "What does it look like I'm doing, I'm paying for my girlfriend's Industrial piercing. Whatever that means."

"Yes, I got that." You giggled. "But why?"

"Perhaps to repay you for the lack of emotional support." Janelle muttered ironically, retrieving the receipt as Kenan's card went through. He took it from her with a bitter expression.

"Kenan?" You demanded an explanation as the two of you left the salon. However, your boyfriend offered you none. Instead, he took your hand and led you around a corner, stopping to press you up against a wall, kissing you senslessy. "Kenan?" You sighed against his mouth, his tongue gentley swiping across your lips.

"What?" He purred, moving on to trace his lips down the pulse of your neck, tasting your skin with feather-like kisses.

"Please." You gasped. "Someone might see us."

"Let them."

You got momentarily swept into it, Kenan, and whatever had come over him. Your fingers raked through his slik-back hair, your arms wrapping around his neck, desperately clinging onto him.

"Sorry." He chuckled darkly, his hand stroking calmly down your back. "I guess I couldn't help myself, your just so fucking hot."

"I am?"

"Yes. And you taste so..." He moved on to nibble your ear, a mistake on Kenan's part as you cried out in pain. "Fuck, sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"It's ok." You winced.

"No...it's not. Fuck, I'm so stupid."

"Kenan?"

He ignored your fretful stare, cradling your face between his hands, inspecting your ear, confirming that he hadn't ripped off the bandage.

"It's okay, baby, really." You assured, seeing the concerned look in your boyfriend's eyes. Kenan didn't seem to hear you, though. "Baby, I'm serious, I'm all good."

He paused to meet your eyes, finally nodding his head. "Alright."

"Yeah?"

His smile was timid. "Yeah, alright."

"Good. Now get off me so I can go see my friends." Your hands playfully pushed him off of you.

"You're leaving?"

"Well....yeah." You hadn't gotten this dressed up just to pierce your ear, you thought. Although spiked leather and fishnet stokings usually decorate your daily attire. It's the clothes you felt the most comfortable in. The style that expressed who you were as a person.

"Oh... okay." Kenan said, slightly disappointed as he stopped cornering you against the wall, putting an end to your spontaneous make-out session.

"I told you that Amy invited me to her gig tonight, didn't I?"

Kenan nodded. "I guess I forgot."

"Feel free to come with me if you like. It's just that, the last time..."

"Yeah, no. I'm good." Kenan said, clearing his throat with the memories of when he last attended your friends' gig. Last time being at some dive bar in the trenches of the city. Perhaps a place where someone of Kenan's reputation, not to mention his occupation, would never be acquainted with. However, Kenan attended that gig for your sake. Withstanding a night of people going feral over raw punk music. Real music to your ears, but darned noise to others, including Kenan.

"I guess I'll just meet you back home then." He said, kissing you goodbye before going your separate ways.

You and Kenan truly had your differences and not just when it came to your taste in music. In fashion as well, not to forget your love for bodily expressions like tattoos and piercings. Here is where you truly differed. However, what made you fit so well together was the fact that you and Kenan never judge each others differences, always willing to support the others' passions.

You even let Kenan drag you to one of his football games once, as your support from the couch was no longer sustainable. There, you didn't take it to heart when a pretty prejudiced comment was made about you online after a photographer spotted you and Kenan together after the game. How could you, when your boyfriend was so happy to just have you there, watching him do what he did best.

"Baby, I'm home!"

Returning to your apartment, you were met by a lovely scene, Kenan passed out on your couch. You had texted him not to wait up for you, but there he was, on the couch, instead of in bed.

"Honey, I'm home." You giggled, stirring Kenan in his sleep by climbing on top of him, serenading his face with soft kisses.

"Mhmm, more." He groaned, not yet awake.

"Time to go to bed baby, you'll have to wake up and help me out."

"You smell nice." He muttered dreamingly. "Just like my girlfriend."

"I am your girlfriend, silly."

Kenan's eyes slowly batted open, a smile spreading on his lips. "My girlfriend?" His hand reached upwards, surpassing your face to tangle into the curls of your hair. "How was Amy's gig?"

"Good. How was your night?"

"Boring, without you."

"That's really sweet of you to say. But it seems to me like you've had a little party of your....own." Your head shifted towards the speakers, confused at what you were hearing. "Is that my playlist?"

Kenan's smile widened. "Maybe."

You perked up, followed by Kenan, who brought himself to sit . He regarded your furrowed expression, your confusion as to why he wasn't vibing to some German trap music like he usually did.

"I tried to go through some of the albums that you've saved." He said, removing a dead eyelash from your flushed cheeks. "But, I dunno....they just weren't my style, you know."

"Kenan, I never asked you to..."

"But I found one song I liked. I think it's because I've heard it before."

"You did? I mean, you have?"

"Yeah." He smiled, reaching for his phone. "I think I've heard mom play it in her car once, when she used to drop me off at school as a kid."

You were dumbfounded and quiet moved by Kenan's effort to give your taste in music another shot. And when the soft riff of a guitar serenade your living room, you suddenly found yourself fighting back tears.

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind....

"You like this song?"

Kenan shrugged his shoulders. "It reminds me of my mom so...."

He broke his own heart and I watched

As he tried to reassemble it....

"This is Paramore, one of my favorite bands."

A dimple formed with Kenan's grin. "I know." He pulled you towards him, shifting to lay on top of you on the coach.

And my momma swore

That she would never let herself forget....

His hands went to lift up your shirt, exposing your navel and the piercing that was hooked into it. "Can I?"

"Can I what?" You giggled, perking yourself up on your elbows to watch as your boyfriend pressed his lips against your belly, kissing it and then licking it.

And that was the day that I promised

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist....

You squealed. "Kenan. That tickles."

He briefly lifted his head. "Please hold still then."

But darling, you are the only exception

You are the only exception

"Kenan!" Your body squirmed with laughter as Kenan slid his tongue across your skin, stopping to lick all five of the piercing below your chin, taking his time with your nipples.

You are the only exception

You are the only exception....

You arched your back with the sensation, the sheer pleasure of having Kenan's warm mouth cover your breasts, his teeth softly nipping your pebbles.

"Kenan." You whispered, a hand stroking his head.

"Mhmm?" He moved on to your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"Did you forget something?"

"Forget what?" He shifted his mouth to hover over yours, kissing your lips.

"One last piercing."

Kenan's face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his dark chuckle vibrating against your skin. He then raised himself to meet your eyes, your eyes that wanted him as much as he wanted you. "Be patient, baby. I'm getting there."

Your hands went to lift up his shirt, tossing it somewhere over your heads. His skin was warm against your breasts, his muscles firm.

"Yes, right there baby."

Your arousal reached new heights when Kenan made his way down your body, stopping with his head between your legs.

"Yes, just like that, baby. Take them off, take my panties off."

He chuckled at your eagerness. They way you raised your hips towards his face desperately, wanting to feel him.

"Shhh, be patient, baby." He soothed your needs with two fingers making small circles over your swollen clit.

"Fuck."

"Does that feel good baby?"

"Yes. Yes. But I need more."

"Oh, I know you do." His free hand squeezed his already throbbing dick. Having spent the majority of the night alone, all Kenan had on his mind was you. Now he had you , wet and ready for his mouth to explore your hidden treasures.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." You winced as he dipped his chin to taste you. His tounge searching faithfully for the small diamond hidden between your folds. Your seventh piercing.

The day Kenan discovered it, his eyes had winded in utter suprise. Suprise that quickly turned into fascination. And now you couldn't get his mouth to detach from it. Lucky you.

[soap-is-an-artist]

gonna ramble about charlie and auron because i just got out the premiere and. holy shit.

if I'm way off base on my analysis i am so sorry, im still processing, these are just my initial thoughts on stuff. and if you disagree id love to discuss it!

okay so first things first i screamed a LOT. I was so relieved when Charlie said he wasn't mad at Cas [i would've cried probably]. Auron made some truly wild comments. case in point: "I would probably slap the taste out of your mouth if it wouldn't mean getting you all hot and bothered just in time for Casper to drop me off at the office, pull into the parking garage, and fuck some goddamn sense into you." I YELLED OMFG auron. you can't just SAY shit like that. Then the Disney princess line. Charlie sounded so weak when he said "can we go back to that part about 'Casper fucking some sense into me'??" And Auron answering with "Not until I'm outside of the vehicle. You'll have to find someone else to watch." AURON. STOP PLEASE IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK FROM LAUGHING

alright moving on from that let's get to the serious shit. Charlie is justified to be angry about Auron interfering in his personal life; it ISN'T a healthy way to interact with people, whether you want to befriend them or not. Auron orchestrated this whole scheme because he doesn't know how to communicate his feelings, and you know what? I get it. He doesn't know what normal is, and it's not really his fault that he doesn't know. But he can at least try? Wikihow is free, brother /lh

Charlie wanted a fresh start. He wanted to disconnect from the dangerous world that Auron is a participant in, he wanted to earn his own way in the world, earn a bit of self damn respect like he deserves. Auron undermined all that, despite his good intentions. He lied, big time. And that's kinda shitty and not okay!

Was it about control? Keeping a hand on loose ends, like Charlie thinks? Auron just wanted to "protect him", right? Well, as someone who has had much of their life controlled by people who ALSO just wanted to "protect" me, that's a very weak excuse for taking away someone's agency. Now, our situations aren't exactly the same. Auron is not Charlie's parents [THANK GOD] and there actually some things Charlie isn't aware of that he needs to be protected from! But this was not the move. Like.. at all.

What's my solution? I dunno. But maybe don't force all these things to happen. Perhaps send an email rather than getting your guy to hunt down your former employee's childhood friend/crush and sneakily reunite them behind his back? Or at least try the email first, Auron. Charlie calling Auron out on playing pretend, "just writing one of your little stories"... ouch. But does he kinda deserve that? Yeah. I think so.

[Side note: Charlie talking about how if he'd sought out Cas on his own terms, it would've worked out because they fall in love every time? "Because that's where I'm supposed to be." I. fucking. fell over. I had to fucking BITE something omg. Yeah im biased in this argument sorry lol, i definitely have a favorite here]

HOWEVER: Auron admits that he was wrong! He is not an unrepentant man and he DIDN'T double down! That is a big point in his favor imo. He doesn't actually say "sorry" but he uses a lot more words to mean something... similar? I guess that's a fanfic writer's way. I get it, I also elaborate way too much. So, an actual clear cut "Charlie, I'm sorry I fucked with your life behind your back just because I wanted to be friends with you" would've been nice. But this will do for now.

Also Charlie you REALLY need to watch out for Finn that guy is a freakkkkk he will fuck you up big time. Not normal Finn. The magic one.

Okay I'm done typing whatever pops into my head with the barest pretense at organization lmao, I'll revisit this in time once my thoughts marinate a little more

[scificrows]

i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.

idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.

[xiii-e]

//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too

[bylertruther]

moodboard for when you lose the idgaf war. or something. again