#okay now im just rambling send post
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oh maybe i should get noise canceling headphonez
#is it 2 lz?#whatever doesnt matter#anyway im wear some regular headphonez that have mild canceling#(no 1 l seemz right)#and itz making it so much better to be in the living room#therez alwayz a fan going in here and the microwave is loud and i hate the beeping#so mayybee#when my current onez break ill look into some#mayhapz#like that word#nayhapz#not as good of a word as qualm though#okay now im just rambling send post#ribsy rambles
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For every note this little post gets, i’ll work on my art projects for 2 minutes this month.
#you are literally under no obligation to interact with this post#speck rambles#power of the crowd and gays#i’m going ti take a nap listening to the rain. i just wanted to post something that let me talk about the rain#because like#it’s been just thundering#terribly. and i’m in love#i’ve never been cozier and my head feels fuzzy#i also did not sleep well. so the rain is calling me and sending me to sleep#i love the rain. i love the thunder. i’m so glad that im going to nap#and then? if i wake up and it’s still rainy? a cup of tea warmed up for my soul#god. but the abundance of rain also has me terrified of the flooding and-#oh. lightwnobg jsr almost stuck me#ah. okay. not fun. uh. stilly. bed now
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im not even sure why i logged onto this account today i just did. hope thats cool. idk if ill be back tomorrow
#ghostly posts#i am like so tired.#uh. ive been falling off the dpth train. the ghosttrolls ideas thing. which is weird cause thats like. me. thats my thing man#never know what to do with any of my projects that i lost steam on#perhaps i keep it but i start over.#its been 6 years. jeeeeeeeeez REALLY SIX YEARS. thats insane bonkers crazytown bananapants#maybe it all just needs a refreshed take ig. maybe i can starte it over and be beter at it this time#gosh i started ghosttrolls. honestly to be frank i started it when i was so run down i didnt know what else to do in my free time#first job. 50+ hr weeks. still responsible for all the mess of four people at home. trying college. alll that stuff. never going anywhere#now ive moved homes likeeee hell. uh. four times? and everything is so different im so different#the type of story i like to read and write has changed. and actually i havent been writing. thats probably part of the problm#okay this is sssuch a ramble sorry#logging off rn#->i get emails when you send an ASK otherwise i might not see whatever. my regular notifs are broken srry. cool. see you
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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SAW AN OPINION ON TWITTY A FEW DAYS AGO AND WOKE UP TODAY MMMMAD AS FUCK ABOUT IT. I UNDERSTAND GILLION TIDESTRIDER MORE THAN YOU AND I WWWWWIILLLL PROVE THAT IN THE RING OF HONOR. COME HERE. COME OVER HERE.
#BAARKKBAKRBARKBARK#LOST THE POST THAT MADE ME MAD BUT OOOOOOHHHH#OOOOOOHHH!!! ALSO NO MAIN TAGS FUCK MAIN TAGS#BREAK CONTAINMENT#I DONT REMEMBER HOW LONG HE SPENT IN THAT ORB BUT I DONT CARE IT DOESNT MATTER#ANY HABIT WILL STICK BETTER TO REPITITION AND WEEEELL THE REPITITIONS OVER ORB BOY!! WELCOME BACK 2 DA REAL WORLD W PEOPLE U LOVE SO SO MUC#AND HOW DO YOU SHOW LOVE?? HUH??? HOW DO YOU SHOW LOVE?????? LIFE DEBT LIFE DEBT SELF SACRIFICY SELF SACRIFICY#I WILL PUT MY POWERFUL FORM BETWEEN U AND DANGER BC I KNOW I CAN TAKE IT AND I DONT WANT YOU TO DEAL WITH TAKING IT#THIS ISNT ABOUT ELDERS OR GODS OR PROJECTING HOLINESS AND DIVINITY ONTO YOUR COMRADES. THIS IS NOT WORSHIP#THIS IS CARE AND PROTECTION AND BY JOBE ITS LOOOOVE IN THE ULTIMATE FORM(TO HIM). im gurglign blood rn#i CANNOT ramble here iCANNOT!!!!!! SEND ME ASKS IF U WANNA KNOW MORE. IM HERE. IM HERE. IM HERE.#JUST KIDIDNG IM BACK TO EDIT MORE ONTO HERE. REMEMBER WHEN CHIP TOOK A FIREBALL FOR GILL#AND GILL SAID THAT CHIP GOT BROWNIE POINTS IN GILLIONS EYES FOR THAT#HE RECOGNIZES THAT AS A GOOD THING TO DO FOR A COMRADE#OKAY IM DONE NOW. FOR NOW. FOR NOW.
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I being so fucking normal about this fit on him rn I'm beingsofuckingnormal I'm beingsofuckin nor-
#you have no idea how fucking long I've been drooling crying begging and just screaming for them to do a Lost boy kill count#like I just watched the podcast maybe like a week ago and I'm just like rocking back and forth on my bed like they're going to post a video#<--real soon#and oh my God I watched the video of the kill count in there's so many things I wish they talked about on there but I'm grateful to get it#they did talk about the sequels and.....ekkkk... I mean it's only based off of high demand so let's hope to God no one talks about it#or send any emails for them I mean if they talk about the remake that's fine I haven't really seen that one I know Sebastian stan is in it#oh my God I feel like I'm about to be so fucking annoying about the movie again I think I'm going to just start posting random shit about it#also lately I've been more happy to be posting and drawing again than usual#so I might be back on doodling and drawing random shit or actually I've been having more confidence in myself to start posting doodles#why do I bring that up because oh I don't know...wink wonk 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤗🤗 😉😉😉😉😜😜😜#my laptop kind of sucks now so I'm going to buy a new one probably this month or next month so I'll be drawing and posting doodles#I'm also thinking about posting some of my recent sketches I have in my notebook but don't expect any Picasso or Vince Van Gogh for me#I know I'm good but like I'm not that good lol im jking kinda sorta maybe not relaly okay yeaj am BUT!!!#I feel like I'm back on my drawing shit again and if I don't finish your drawing I'll just still post it because why the fuck not I'm young#let's fuck around and have some fun why not huh#man I can't believe I'm actually really rambling here but yeah I'm happy to say that I'm going to be back on my stupid shit ❤️#kill count
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So one of my friends sent me their drawing practice they were doing the other day, and I just love seeing people improving their crafts. Like I enjoy looking at art from professionals and people who like do comms for a living, and I didn't really say it in that reply to wingedwoif the other day, but having done it for a bit, and seeing what they're going through I feel like turning it into a job can suck the joy, wonder, and excitement out of art, so when I see pure hobbyists growing and exploring with their art/craft, trying new mediums and just creating for the sake of it, I love it! Don't ever let a lack of formal training stop you from making something, wing it, slap stuff together, throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks(figuratively or literally). So long as you're putting your heart into it it will be amazing, even if you don't think so yourself, and even if only a handful of people see it, you'll have put net positive creativity into the world.
#misc#text post#all this to say anyone please feel free to send me your doodles because I love seeing little pieces of art and I will cherish them forever#regardless of what they are#also while I did just say specifically not to worry about it I can also offer critique and potentially some guidance art wise#while my own work isnt anything to gawk at I did spend 4 years being trained to fine art#im just lazy. but I did retain most if not all of that knowledge#also since im rambling in the notes I might as well just go on#so controversial take. but my one annoying teacher was half right about tracing#he said if you're not tracing you're not doing art#which is dumb#BUT tracing is actually okay. its how you build the muscle memory to freehand things and learn to draw#well maybe its not the only way to do that. but its certainly one of the best ways in my opinion#take pictures of yourself and trace them if you ever need to get a specific pose and cant find reference or if it has weird foreshortening#okay I'm done rambling for now#if you read through all of that thanks. I love you all.
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im trying out a new social media website for the first time in.... uh. i think the last new website (not New but new to me) i tried to use was instagram or twitter and that was when i was 16/17 lol. i gave up on twitter after like a month of struggling to understand the etiquette and culture there, and i recently abandoned instagram bc opening the app made me angry or anxious djdkdl. but anyWAYs.... im trying out a new art sharing platform and I'll let y'all know if it goes well, it seems very fun and nice so far :]
#the reason im hesitating on sharing the name is bc i might abandon it entirely in like a week DBFJDKL#i want to make sure it has some sort of lasting power before i go ''hiii u should all check out this thing''#their rules are So good though. very pleased w it so far!!#and the culture on it seems very niceys too :] and I've already managed to get likes on things which is WILD#i literally just uploaded my first art piece there a couple hours ago and its already received a few likes#that is BONKERS. i post stuff here (on my main) and im lucky if i get two likes and I've been here for ages 😭😭#its not about likes for me though djdksl its more about engagement#like. connection. bc the art i share (not so much here on this acct but somewhat!) is shared to tell a story#and stories need an audience of some kind#and i tell/make/share stories for connection. so to send it out into the void and receive a thumbs up is very cool and nice :]#and i mean yeah likes do feel nice i wont lie LMAO but i try not to rely on that or focus on that fjdkdl#mostly i just want to connect w ppl 😭 which is... difficult to do bc i am so so so scared all the time 😭😭😭#anyways im rambling and talking nonsense. i will go to sleep now FAREWELL i hope yall are doing okay 🫶🫶🫶#dandy.cmd
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gah
#cryptic ramblings#dating app diary#well!! last time i was posting abt my dating app adventures i was worrying abt a guy not messaging me n now im back#worrying abt the same thing#BUT we've met in person and hit it off imo. but he told me hes dealing with some stuff and is gonna be kinda mia for a bit so theres that#n im taking all of tht at face value bc again im choosing to have trust tht its not like. some weird excuse to not talk?? idk#but w that i hope hes doin alright :(( i /wanna/#omg *i /wanna/ send messages thtre just along the lines of 'thinking of u!' n stuff but idk i think thts too much so im tryna give him space#😖😖 i hate feeling clingy when theres not even anything official wtf#if he ever somehow sees this n knows its abt him uuhhhh hope ur doin okay man ✊️✊️
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summary/prompt + genre - Spencer's pretty and you're in love. That's it that's the fic. | fluff
warnings - none
wc - 363
notes - i finally had to use "y/n" in a post on here and im losing it. the flashbacks of my wattpad days have me fighting for my life. anyways more obsessed!reader because wow! they're literally me!
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You adore listening to Spencer ramble, you really do, but right now, you just want to love on him.
He's explaining the new documentary he just finished watching, but you're too busy admiring him to focus on what he's saying. The way his eyes light up, the excited smile on his face. You're caught up in how passionate he sounds, how smart he sounds.
You feel bad for not paying attention, but he's the one that's being so distracting.
"Y'so pretty, Spence." You feel silly that it's all you can say, but it's all you can think about.
He stops, eyes wide and cheeks burning. He's quick to avert eye contact, looking everywhere but at you as he fights back a dopey smile. You make his head spin.
"Stop it," It's embarrassingly high-pitched, almost a whine. He'd be lying if he said he didn't love when you fawned over him, even though it never fails to fluster him.
He pushes himself closer to you to duck his head into your neck, bashful under your affectionate gaze. You don't let him get away that easily, catching his face in your hands and pressing a kiss to his lips.
"Can't help it," You gush, your foreheads still pressed together after you've pulled away from the kiss. Your lips trail across his cheek, up his nose, to his forehead, and he giggles, ticklish, playfully swatting you away.
In the midst of all his thrashing, he falls back onto the couch. He takes you with him, letting out a comically surprised squeak when you fall on top of him, and you both feel tears well up in your eyes from laughing so hard.
You kiss his nose one last time, for good measure, and he smiles up at you. His eyes are full of affection, hands finding your face to run his thumb along your jawline, up to your cheek. You lean into his touch, kissing his palm.
"You're ridiculous." All fondness, voice raspy from all of the laughing.
"Ridiculously in love with my ridiculously perfect boyfriend, maybe." You tease, he just makes it too easy.
"(Y/N)!" His blush gets impossibly deeper, weakly glaring at you in faux indignation.
"Okay, okay, I'll stop!"
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taglist - @lover-of-books-and-tea @maskysluvr @aurorsworld @wisteriaspencer @radioactiveinvisible @mandarinmoons @spencereidapologist @lyd14-d33tz @luvkatryna @khxna @flow33didontsmoke (send an ask or message to be added/removed!)
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer x reader#spencer reid fluff#x reader#reid x reader
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How do the gods feel about Percy being an 'It Girl'? Idk, every time I think of her, i just imagine all the popular girls from high school 😭
omg i gotta talk about this in detail forgive me 😂😂
you know those tiktok stories ppl post about their glow ups? like they'd show pics of them when they were kids or in middle school, to how they look now in high school/collage/working adult????
THAT'S PERCY!!!!!
percy canonically was seen as a loser in the earlier books. she was constantly shuffled around boarding schools, which are EXPENSIVE btw, and in my fic the explanation for that is that these schools willingly took percy in with free tuition/lowered tuition because of how HORRIBLE her record is, and they wanted to take her in in hopes they could "improve" her and make their school look better cuz "hey we took this criminal poor child in and we made her a stellar student! we're so much better than the other schools, so give us donations and send ur kids to us because we actually work!" and that obviously just... never happened lol 💀
BUT ANYWAY, those schools are expensive and usually filled with wealthy kids from wealthy families, and they can CLEARLY tell percy isn't one of them. maybe because she's always wearing the same shoes, or she can't afford to get another uniform so she's always got the same crummy one with rips or stains they couldn't get out or "hey i saw percy and her mom walking to the laundromat, they're so poor they don't even have their own washing and drying machine haha!", or "guys i saw percy working at the macy's parade! hahaha, she's so poor she's gotta work during summer break!", etc.
like EVERYONE always knew her as that kid with no money and no dad who's always committing crimes ("hey isn't that jackson girl a terrorist?!"), she's a loser with barely any friends, and the friends she DOES make are losers too (grover and tyson were always looked down on, and in my fic she attends the di angelo's school, and they were looked down on too).
so imagine seeing that kid grow up into her teens and then get hit with the biggest glow up you've ever seen (cuz her face claim's adriana lima) 😂😂😂😂 i think her life started getting better around the time she she started attending goode high (a regular high school, not for elites like her previous school, so no one there knows her aside from her "crimes" on tv). and it's not just the glow up too, she's also a little more outgoing and confident in herself, more comfortable in her skin, etc. she's got a glow up inside AND outside. like imagine strolling around ur school and a girl who looks like a victoria's secret super model just walks by and she NOTICES you and just waves and says "oh hi! 👋😄"
percy has always been seen as a poor loser, but then high school happened and BAM she's now suddenly the most popular girl in school 🥺 she probably has a lot of mortal friends too. so not only is she popular in the demigod/godly world, but also popular in the mortal world (her high school, i mean lol). she's on the swim team, she's the ✨it girl✨ she probably got a ton of juniors or seniors trying to ask her out to prom/homecoming and shit despite being a freshman/sophomore 😂 and because she's got so many friends from school, she most DEFINITELY spent a lot of her free time hanging out with them, like just shopping in new york, going to skate parks, walking around the city, etc. (and with her demigod friends too ofc if they're in new york at the time). her insta, tiktok, and twitter's probably FULL of pics/vids of her just hanging out and being social 😂 she's the girl that's everywhere but home, always out and doing shit 😭
okay okay, i rambled too much im sorry, i just really love talking about percy being an ✨it girl✨ everywhere she goes
but anyways... the yanderes...... WOULD FUCKING HATE IT 😂
poseidon and beelzebub are the biggest introverts EVER. the thought of going out and touching grass would actually give them psychic damage 😂
poseidon's so lucky he was never in sally's position because he wouldn't be able to handle it. his daughter is everywhere BUT HOME 😭😭😭 like pls go home already child, stop hanging out with people, what do you mean you're at a SLEEPOVER RIGHT NOW? NO, COME HOME. do you even know the ppl you're talking to? YOU JUST MET THEM???? DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS, IDC IF THEY'RE COMPLIMENTING UR OUTFIT 😭😭😭 poor percy, in ror verse her life of excitement's gone, no going around hanging out with friends and doing random shit, she's got an overbearing dad now 😭
beelzebub's screaming, crying, throwing up, dramatically sliding his back down the door and everything 😭 going to midgard with percy was already hard enough for him, he literally had to handcuff her because she just WOULDN'T. STAY. STILL. and everyone kept staring at her and everything (remember when he read the mind of that one taxi cab driver and he lost his shit 😂). percy ALWAYS wants to go outside and he can't fucking take that shit, but he loves her so he takes her out anyway and it kills him every time 😭😭 BECAUSE EVERYONE ALWAYS WANTS TO TALK TO HER, AND SHE NEVER DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT like sweetie..... stranger danger 😭
hades would be crying internally like "pls.... stay home.... just stay home pls 😭". he's glad his niece is so well-liked, she deserves to be adored by everyone!!! but maybe... maybe this is just a lil too much popularity... 😭 he'd burst into tears from the sight of her social media accounts alone, she's always out and about and rarely home, always with different ppl. it's so shocking to him cuz he's more comfortable hanging out with ppl he's close to like family and stuff, what do you mean percy's got different friend groups and she's always hanging out with them, what do you mean she's in hundreds of group chats in various texting apps, what do you mean seniors were asking her out to dances, STAY AWAY *HISSSSSS*
APOLLO WOULD BE SO HYPOCRITICAL 😂 he is ALSO a very popular god who's very extroverted and outgoing but holy shit would he meet his match in percy and he starts to see the downsides to such popularity 😂 he's soooooo glad that all of percy's old friends are universes away, but if that starts happening again in THIS universe he'd be on his hands and knees begging her to stay home and stop hanging out with ppl 😭 he now understands why poseidon kept her in the palace, cuz once she's out, she's going EVERYWHERE and meeting EVERYONE and nothing's gonna send her back home unless they drag her 😂
anubis is extroverted af so he definitely understands!!!!!!! jk. he'd be fine with it for the first few 24 hours, then everyone starts to become a threat to him because they keep stealing percy's attention. he'd be like "can't you stay home 🥺 pretty please 🥺🥺🥺 kebechet and i miss you so much 🥺🥺🥺 ur rarely home nowadays 🥺🥺🥺" and he and kebi would work together to guilt her into spending more time with them, and it would work 💀💀💀
loki would make the fatal mistake of taking her around valhalla and meeting other gods and shit, and then immediately regret it once he realizes that he's got a super sociable ✨it girl✨ in his hands who easily befriends everyone she meets 💀 he'd probably try to horde her in the palace, but that doesn't work cuz now she's helping servants out with the cooking and cleaning, having tea parties with odin, petting huginn and muninn, doing thor's hair, hanging out with the valkyries, etc. into the basement she goes, i guess! 😭😭😭
cú chulainn 1000% also understands what it's like to be popular. i'm pretty sure all of ireland knew him; ladies loved the dude and men feared and hated his ass cuz he either killed someone they cared about or fucked their wives and daughters 💀 so yes he definitely understands, but karma strikes him and it strikes him BADLY because percy is absolutely gonna be 100000000% more popular than him. like, he takes her out and looks away from her for ONE SECOND, and she's suddenly got 61341 friends already, half of which are probably in love with her or some shit 😭 hell, she'd probably unknowingly steal the hearts of the girls who crushed on him and all those dudes who hated his ass? yeah now they forgot about him cuz "wow who's the pretty girl next to him?? 😳😳" he'd be so stressed fr, he can't take her ANYWHERE cuz they all WANT HER. deserved karma if you ask me 💀
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ribbons release
actor eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting series
content: happiness for once. until it is not. ronnie's love for foreshadowing strikes again.
an: not a fan of this chapter, but we digress. read it and do not kill me if you don't like it.
song: not explicitly mentioned, but this chapter reminds me of about you by the 1975. ratty healy, I hate you but you ate on this one thing.
previous part linked here
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“I ju-just sent my loc-location, Eren.”
“I got it, Y/N. I just need you to hold on for ten more minutes, okay? Can you do that for me?”
“Y-yes.”
Seattle is famous for rain. You understand that all too well now. After what you’ve counted as twenty-seven minutes - from when you went to take the trash out to the mailpost you’re hiding behind now - you’re all but soaked. Drenched.
Your phone is blowing up with texts, the rain is only getting harder, and the mini black dress and ribbon in your hair do no favors to keep you warm. You slide out of your call with Eren and quickly scan through the messages, buzzing so loud they’re blocking Eren’s voice.
reiner: so, so proud of you always!!! stop being a big famous pop star and go back to being the little twerp who needs my help killing spiders on set :/
levi: I love you too, kid. And on a real listen, we really do love the album.
armin: ann and i are smelling a triple threat on the horizon. love you to the moon and saturn <3
connie: i was accidentally pooping while i listened to dorothea for the first time and i think the combination of those two things at once gave me like a really visceral reaction. im not ok. u are amazing.
mikasa: u are givg me aneurysm. pls don’t forgor to call me the scnd ur okay.
erwin: Call me ASAP.
erwin: Not urgent. Just feeling emotional about my little Canadian reaching hearts all over the world.
king of bitches (maybe: ryomen sukuna): Fluff shit indeed. Blow me a kiss when you beat James for Album of the Year.
danny: where is the album release post? it’s almost been half an hour.
You have bigger problems at the moment. Like the frozen piece of fabric you’re wearing. You should have named the album sweaters or scarves or something. Then at least you’d be warm. And blend in with the paparazzi.
Fuck.
“W-wait, Eren. Y-you ca-n’t b-be the one to get me.” you murmur, shivering through your teeth.
“Do you want to stay with someone else? I know nice people here. My neighbor is in her late forties and has like two middle school aged girls that are really nice. They’d take care of you, I promise you can trust them and-” he rambles.
“N-no. I want to st-stay with you. But pa-papara-zzi. S-send ss-omeone e-else.”
“Paparazzi? Why are-?”
“Er-eren.”
“Would it be that bad if it was me? Like it has to be someone else, Y/N?”
“Y-yes.”
“I have someone in mind. She’s leaving right now, okay?”
Eren’s sound is muffled over the line now, which has you digging your phone into your ear to catch the ends of what he’s saying.
Blast the heater….butt warmer on before she’s in the car….bring it up and I will kick your freeloading….
“Y/N?”
“H-here.”
“Good. I’m sending her. Don't get upset, this is the best I could do, okay? I-I promise she’s actually nice. You can trust her and-and I’d never send someone who would do something bad.”
“O-okay. I t-trust you. J-just get me ou-out of th-this, please.” you whimper, praying to god the rustling behind you is a rabbit and not the group of them finding you.
“I’m trying sweetheart, okay? She’s speeding. She’s on Main and Third, three lights and she’s there.”
That’s when you see it. The flash of the camera. And hear five consecutive clicks right after. You look around the periphery, before you see two of them, two tall guys speed walking closer to where you’re hiding.
So you do the only thing you can. Stand up and run instead.
You scramble up off the pavement, hiking your dress down, and keep running down the block. Climb up the gates, knock over trash cans to block the way, anything to stop them. And when you look back, after who knows how long, you realize they’re gone.
And sit flat on the messy pavement, finally lifting the phone back up. Only to realize Eren’s no longer on the line because your phone is dead. You drop it straight into your lap and dig your hands into your head, covering your ears to stop the pounding sound of the rain from getting any louder.
God. Just breathe. Whoever is coming to get you is on the way. They’ll come get you and then you’ll be out of this mess.
You hear three resounding clicks and a flash of a light to look up at two different paps, two girls this time, getting a straight on picture of you. And all you can do is put your head down in your lap and cry.
They already got the picture. There’s no point in trying to run out of it anymore.
“Y/N.”
“Pl-please. I’m b-begging you. You already got your picture and can ss-spin it into whatever you want. I-I’m still a person, please. Just let me go.” you respond, the tears blinding your sight of vision.
You feel a towel being wrapped around your shoulders and soft hands lifting you up by your arms. And then all of a sudden you’re in a warm car, being sped out of the neighborhood past the groups of paparazzi in between the houses, and not directly across from them having your picture taken.
You’re in a car. You’re okay. You’re leaving. You’re okay.
You lean back and breathe hard, phantom sobs still racking out of your chest, trying to register that you’re almost there. Safe behind closed, triple locked doors.
“D-did you tell Eren?”
“Yes. He’s not far, we’ll be there soon, okay?”
“Okay. T-thank you. I’m Y/N.”
“Lana.”
You turn your head to actually take in the driver this time, to be met with the Lana you feared. Ricky’s ex-girlfriend, Lana. She has short brown hair - entirely different from her long, beachy waves from the Girlfriend incident - a pointed nose and a very clenched jaw.
“Th-there are more blankets on the floor. I pumped the heater pretty hard, but I’ll turn all the fans your way. And anything you could possibly need is being rushed to the house for you, so just don’t worry, okay?”
“I appreciate it. Thank you for coming to get me. I-I”
“Please don’t thank me. I just-”
She takes a harsh intake of breath and turns to give you a look, her mouth upturned.
“He locked you out, didn’t he?” she whispers.
“Yeah.” you respond.
“What did you do?”
“I told him I didn’t like him back.”
She turns her head towards you, a look of confusion on her face.
“It was a PR thing.”
She snorts.
“Your managers must hate you.”
“I’m starting to think they just might.”
“Well. Don’t feel bad. Not for a fucking second. Just because he likes you, doesn’t mean he’s entitled to you reciprocating back. You like who you like. And if I were you, I wouldn’t stop liking a guy like Eren for a skeeze like Ricky either.”
You lean against the glass, hot air blowing in your face, as you take in her expression - so enraged, so exasperated, so furious that it gives you a chill. But when she looks over and gives you a halfhearted smile, you see the pained expression there too.
That’s when you pinpoint it. Lana reminds you of Historia.
“I’m sorry.” you respond.
“For?”
“You knew he locked me out. He must have done it to you too, no?” you whisper, the tension in the air delicate.
She swallows hard and clenches her knuckles on the steering wheel, eyes laser focused on the red light shining on her face. And beyond the original striking features - her sharp jaw and nose - you see the softness too. The dimples, the wrinkles near her eyes, the light brown freckles.
“I wanted to take time off from acting. It-I did a role that was really traumatic and I just needed a break. And he was just about to go on tour and he wanted me to come to support. Like a little cheerleader.”
“So he locked you out?”
“For two days. He-he’s just. A lot of the fame stuff got to him when he was really little. And now he’s got this convoluted sense of self-image and it just- I don’t know. He’s got problems.” she responds.
“I’m sorry. Really, that’s-”
You stop talking, words failing you. And maybe it’s the way your head was frozen ten minutes ago and it’s being melted now, or that the picture they took is going to leak soon, or that there is no good thing to say to something shitty like this. It only took him three months to turn on you, which you’re guessing is generous now. She must have infinite patience for putting up with it for an entire year.
“In a weird way, I’m glad it’s me and not Eren. You- this does something for me. Making sure you’re not out there for two days, it-it helps me.” she whispers, looking over to give you a smile.
“I really appreciate you, Lana. Thank you. And I-I’m not mad at you for the Girlfriend thing. You had every right to do that.”
“Y/N. I have every right to drag Ricky James’ name through the mud. But not yours. And I- shit. Please don’t tell Eren we talked about this. He’s going to kill me.”
“Why?”
“He told me that if I brought it up, he’d kick me out of his house. I kind of stay there because I-I hate living in our townhouse on set because of how toxic it is and he was nice enough to offer. And he made it very clear that I have to pick you and make sure you’re okay, not make you uncomfortable or anything. We’re here to take care of you and-”
“I brought it up. I’ll deal with him if he gives you a hard time. I used to be really good at that type of thing.”
“I know for a fact that you could tell him to twirl in the air like a show pony and he’d do it.”
“I’ll test the theory and let you know.”
She laughs, giving you a smile which you warmly return. Your phone buzzes in your lap, finally revived, and you send a quick message to Mikasa and Jean before shutting it off.
“I-I didn’t know that it was going to go that far. I knew the song and that we were just going to sing it. Let people speculate it was about you. I-I didn’t know they’d have a girl who looked like you OR bring Eren up on stage. And Eren didn’t know anything about the song or the performance at all - they, they set him up.”
“Why would they do that? I mean, they got horrible backlash in the entire thing.”
“They thought people would like it. And they severely underestimated how much people love you. And they did it because, Eren- he. He doesn’t follow rules and-”
“Follow rules?”
“I’m saying too much. He-he’s going to get mad. Ju-just rest, okay? You’re okay now, we’re two minutes from the neighborhood..”
You give her a questioning look, which she returns with a dismissive shake. Stubborn - she’s Historia alright. You lean back in the chair and reach for the music nob, twisting it on. Only to be met with the Teletubbies Theme blasting through the car and a very flustered Lana turning the knob off.
“Fuck.”
“Teletubbies?”
“I-I can explain.”
“Please. I’d love to hear it.”
She drums her fingers on the steering wheel as the silence hangs in the air.
“Okay. Maybe I can’t explain.”
“No need. I appreciate versatile music taste in prospective friends. Especially classics like this.” you respond, cranking the music back on.
“Friends?”
“Don’t be silly. Not exaggerating, but I think you quite literally saved my life a few minutes ago. You’re like the La-La to my Dipsy.”
“Lame. You’re more of a Tinky-Winky. And anytime. We girls stick together, right?” she responds, reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze. Like Eren.
Did she learn the hand squeezes from Eren? Is he squeezing her hands? They live together so …are they dating?
“We’re here.”
You nod, appreciative of Lana more than maybe any person on god's green Earth, as she pulls into the driveway and helps you out of the car. It’s only after sitting that you’re realizing your legs are so bone dead tired that you’re barely moving on your own.
You move past the hood of the car as Eren walks into the garage, immediately beelining towards you. His hair is long again - it’s always changing every time you see him - and he’s all wound up with tensions sitting in his shoulders. His hands are warm and cupping your face, yanking the cold towel off and replacing it with a warm one.
“Hey. You-you nicked your face, Y/N. And you’re freezing, you-” he whispers, brushing his fingers across the skin near your eye that stings on touch.
Lana holds the door open as he leads you in, arms aggressively moving up and down your shoulders and his face all pinched up in concern.
“You’re good to go? I put your stuff out by the door.” Eren says, gesturing to Lana.
“Is she leaving?” you ask, looking up at Eren.
“Yeah. Don’t worry, it’ll be just us. And I’m sure Mika and Jean will drop everything to fly out for you tomorrow, I can tell them if you need me to and-”
“Well, don’t make her leave. She shouldn’t stay on that stupid set just because of me.” you respond.
Eren looks over and glares at Lana, who is now wide eyed and giving Eren a sheepish smile. Fuck. He asked her not to talk about that.
“Lana.” he says, in a warning tone.
“Eren. Chill out. I didn’t even-”
“You’re so full of yourself, you know that? You- she got drenched and the rain and you were talking about set?”
“It’s not like that! It just came up and-”
“Oh, for sure. You just happened upon it like you were a villager walking in a town square. Ooh Y/N. You just got drenched in the rain and chased by paparazzi, but more importantly, the girls I work with are super bitchy.” he responds, mimicking her voice.
“You-it wasn’t like that! You’re so aggravat-”
“Eren. Leave her alone.” you ask, looking up at him. And you’re sure you must look horrible because he immediately stops when he looks at your face again and signals for her to leave, which she’s receptive to.
“Okay. Lana, text me when you’re there. And check if you were followed on your way out.” Eren says.
Lana stops and holds both of your arms at your biceps, hands soft on your skin.
“Do call me if you need anything, okay? Especially Ricky related. Whatever you do, I’ll back you up, Tinky-Winky. ”
“Thank you, La-La. I’ll take you up on that.” you respond, giving her a warm smile.
“Oh god. No. No, you don’t get to be friends now. Fuck no, Lana. Please stick to the geriatric grandmas you play Scrabble with.”
“You’re just mad they beat you at mahjong last week. Because you’re a prissy loser.”
“And you’re-”
You jab Eren in the side, signaling him to stop, as they both nod and she slides her way out. From the way he’s arguing, the look on his face is so similar to the one he gives Connie when they argue, you know they could go on for years if they got the chance.
“Fuck you, Eren.”
“Eat shit, Lana.”
She flips him off as the door clicks shut behind her, the lack of her presence making you suddenly aware of your breaths. And of Eren, warm Eren rubbing into your shoulders and concerned green eyes staring into yours.
“I like her.” you whisper.
“Me too. Don’t tell her that though, she’s got an ego problem.” he responds.
You laugh, which has him smiling at you, and suddenly you’re sobbing. And on cue, Eren has his arms around you, his touch warm and his voice oh so soft that it kills you. That you haven’t seen him in two months. And haven’t talked to him for longer.
“Eren.”
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry, it-it’ll be okay. I- we’ll fix this, okay? I’ll call Levi and Hange, whoever you want, they’ll all come and-”
You reach up, tangling your arms around his neck as he keeps nervously talking, trying to hold you closer even though it’s not physically possible. And he’s just so-
So familiar that he feels like home.
“You’re breaking my heart here, Y/N. Please stop crying, I-I’ve got you, okay?” he murmurs, straight into your skin as you nod, trying your best to even out the sobs still leaving you. And slowly but surely, the stream slows and your breath evens out enough to get at least a few words out.
“Okay. Okay, okay. I’m okay.”
“Y/N?”
“Hm?”
“As much as I like holding you, you’re freezing. Take a shower first and we can do this all you want, okay?”
You pull back, wiping the tears off your cheeks and giving him a nod. He gives you a small smile, before placing his hands on your shoulders and leading you down towards the bathroom. And you don’t miss all the posters and pictures he has on his walls - one from each season of Attack of Titan, a few of him and Armin, and even one of him and Lana flipping off the camera together.
He pushes you into the bathroom and immediately turns on the shower all the way to the hottest setting, before turning around and putting his hands on his hips.
“Towels, clothes, shampoo. There’s soap in there already and take as long as you want. Sit in here for three days if you have to just- do-do whatever you have to do and-”
You pick up the bottle of shampoo, the lavender scented Pantene, the one that you’ve been using since you were fifteen. And you know, you know that Eren’s atrocious ass uses a three in one hair and conditioner so it’s not his.
“Eren.”
“Hm?”
“Did you just happen to have the brand of shampoo that I use?”
“N-no. Those are Lana’s.”
“Then why are they unopened?” you ask, giving him a smirk.
He glares at you, before rolling his eyes and holding your face. And now he’s leaning so close, so close that your lips are only a few feet away from yours, when he talks.
“You know why you can’t make fun of me for keeping a spare of your shampoos in my house?” he whispers, green eyes burning in yours.
“Why?” you whisper back, stomach lurching.
“Because you’re actually here. I knew you’d come back to me.” he responds, giving your cheek a pinch before walking out.
And when you watch him walk out, giving you one last smile before he shuts the door, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Typical Eren. Funny, irritating, and soft all in one.
He’s the same as you left him.
--
You pad out of the shower, Eren’s hoodie and sweatpants ridiculously huge on you, as you follow the sweet smell into the kitchen. Eren is leaned over the counter, sliding vegetables into two bowls of ramen as you walk in.
“Hey.”
“Hi. Took a while. Thought you died in there.” Eren responds, pressing his hands to your skin to test how warm they were.
“I almost wish I did.” you respond, laughing.
Except Eren doesn’t find it funny and instead he’s dropping the utensils and standing at your side.
“Y/N.”
“I was joking!”
“Nothing about that was funny. Don’t ever joke about that.” he responds, rummaging through the drawers at your side before pulling out a little tube of gel.
Eren taps the top of the counter, which you jump onto, before he takes his place in between your legs. His hands are focused on reading the instructions, forehead all scrunched up in concentration.
“What’s that?”
“It’s like this…scar ointment or whatever. Helps things heal better, I want to use it on that cut on your pretty face.” he responds, twisting it open and squirting some on his finger.
He brings his hands to your face, eyes intently focused on your cheek. You hiss the second his finger makes contact with your skin, the tingling sensation catching you off guard.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it hurts.” he whispers, smothering the cold gel down the side of your eye.
“I-I fell on the pavement. My knees are pretty bad too, Eren.” you whisper, which he nods at.
After he finishes, he’s carefully sliding the ends of your pants off and carefully placing the ointment on each of the jagged marks on your legs. And you eye the bowls of ramen at your side - knowing instantly that the one without mushrooms is yours - and reach for the food. The broth is so warm it soothes the aching feeling in your throat, still seasoned to perfection the way Eren always makes it.
“Eren.”
“Hm?”
“Can I ask you a weird question?”
“Sure.”
“Are you and Lana dating?”
He looks up from your leg and gives you a devilish smirk. And then starts laughing. Like full on, crouched over, tears from his eyes laughing.
“Okay. It wasn’t that funny.” you murmur, rubbing your hands against the warm bowl and frowning.
“Oh god, Y/N. Jesus-”
“It’s a normal question! She lives with you, you trusted her to come get me, and you guys have a picture together in the hallway.”
“Are you jealous?” he asks, standing up and leaning straight into your space.
“Absolutely not.”
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“You don’t need to get all embarrassed. Watching you kiss Ricky James made me want to break something, preferably his neck.”
You swallow hard at the mention of Ricky again, the thought of him and what happened was so far away because you were with Eren. In his space, in your shared bubble, after so long. And he catches on too fast because he’s already profusely apologizing.
“Hey. I didn’t mean to bring him up, I-I’m not trying to push you into telling me what happened it’s just-”
“No. No, Eren. It’s okay. I know. I-”
You breathe in hard and put the bowl of ramen down and reach for his hands instead. You keep your eyes focused on them - on the little mole on his left hand, the feeling of his knuckles underneath your fingers, and on him squeezing your hands three times before you start talking.
“Ricky and I were faking the relationship for PR. Since London Boy and all that, it was Danny and Sareen’s idea. That-that’s why I stopped talking to you, I-I felt bad. And I was ashamed that I was even doing it, I-I don’t know. The Little Women press and all that, it would just get people to stream and talk. Make me a triple threat. And then today, I- He told me he liked me. And I said I couldn’t do that right now. That I don’t like him back. I went to take out the trash because it was so awkward and then I was going to go home but he- he locked me out. And when I asked to come back in, he repeated the same words to me. That he couldn’t do that right now.”
Eren lifts your hands, still locked with his, and presses a kiss to the top of your knuckles, as you continue. His lips burn your skin, still.
“I was out there and it-it was cold. And then I heard the cars and I saw seven paparazzi trucks, right on the porch. Ricky, his address isn’t leaked. No-no one knew I was there or that he was but they all showed up, right when I was out there and-”
“He called them, didn’t he?” Eren asks, his tone so harsh, so unyielding that it almost doesn’t sound like him.
“Yeah. And I ran, for so long. I- they got a picture. A few, I know they did and I was just so, so scared that I was going to be out there forever, that I was all alone and they were just going to-”
Eren reaches forward, wrapping you in his arms for what feels like the fiftieth time tonight, but you welcome it. Focus on his heart beating under your ear, running your fingers over his fish tattoo on his bicep, and on his soft, steady breaths.
“Eren.”
“Hm.”
“You didn’t say anything. What are you thinking about?”
“What I’m thinking isn’t productive for you to know right now.”
You look up at him, giving him a questioning look.
“Drop it, Y/N.”
“No. Tell me. I’m sure you’re mad and all but-”
“Mad? I’m fucking furious, I’m livid. That he fucking locked you out and left you in the cold. You-you could have been seriously hurt. You are hurt. And not only that, the fucking paparazzi. You-you ran in the cold, you fell, you can’t stop crying and-and- I’m going to kill this asshole when I see him next because it’s his fault you’re feeling like this.”
“Eren.”
“No. Shut up, Y/N. I’m being serious. I-I don’t like seeing you like this and don’t tell me not to. He hurt you. It’s that simple.”
You deflate, knowing Eren too well to know that he won’t drop this. Especially when he’s overly passionate, deep in the feeling right now.
“Okay. But can you just be here for me right now? I need you here and not all….tense and mad. B-Be soft. And warm.”
He stops, the frustration in his forehead dissolving as he takes a breath and smiles at you. Not fully, but it does the job.
“Okay. I can do that. Let’s watch Fruits Basket. And then go to bed.”
“You hate Fruits Basket.”
“But I love you. Enough to watch your weird bestiality adjacent show and pretend to like it.”
You smile and he reaches forward to pinch your cheeks.
“Look at that smile. There she is. There’s my sweet girl.” he whispers, voice all tangled in his throat.
--
You wake up to an empty bed, Eren’s side cold. And you pull his hoodie on before padding downstairs to find Eren’s phone pressed to his ear. He gives you a wave and points to the plate - a mix of eggs, french toast, and fruits - perfectly placed to perfection.
You give him a smile and he walks off, taking the phone with him. You frown as you watch him disappear, jabbing your fork through the cantaloupe.
What is he talking about that’s so important he doesn’t want you to hear?
You jump off of the stool and quietly pad towards the direction he walked, hiding in the hallway. He’s leaning against the wall, staring at the picture right across - one of Levi and Hange kissing your cheeks at the vow renewal - and angle yourself to hear his words.
“Is he okay?”
“I’m glad. You tell me if you need anything else, okay?”
“Okay, Coco. I missed you too, yeah?”
Who the fuck is Coco?
He hangs up and you immediately scramble back to the kitchen, trying your best to stay inconspicuous as he comes back and gives you a smile. It doesn’t reach his eyes, the expression on his face almost tired.
“Hey sleepyhead. You okay?”
“Mhm. Food is really good, Eren.”
He gives you a smile as he sits at your side, eyes focused on you as you eat your food. He places both of your phones in front of you, and you spot yours with nearly a hundred notifications. But when you reach for it, Eren grabs your hand in the air and locks it on his own instead.
“Just-wait. Eat first.” he says, his tone hollow.
You turn your head to the side and take in Eren’s expression, downtrodden and uncharacteristically unexpressive. The complete opposite of Eren yesterday - moony eyes and soft smiles.
“Eren.”
“Y/N. If I ask you to do this for me, can you trust me and listen?”
“No. You-what’s wrong? You’re being weird.” you ask, reaching for his hand.
He looks over, the look indiscernible, as he leans forward and presses a kiss to your cheek.
“You-I took care of most of it, okay? Levi and Hange are coming. Just, don’t panic. You-it’s okay.”
“Eren. You’re scaring me. Just tell me.”
He takes a deep breath, cracking the knuckles in your hand as he nervously talks.
“You-your pictures leaked. The ones of you running last night. And-and people started speculating really fast - wondering why you were running and crying on the night your album released instead of celebrating it. And-and then Ricky, he tweeted a bunch of things.”
You pale. And reach for your phone, which Eren stops again.
“They’re lies. Obviously. You don’t need to read them, not yet. And Lana told me she’s ready to back you up, whatever you want, when you need it. But, that’s not-”
“What, Eren? Just spit it out.” you respond, frantically.
“They- Ricky’s fans are mad at you. They’re sending you death threats.”
“Oh.”
You deflate, staring at the cold mess of breakfast on your plate. Death threats. Hate, you’re no stranger too. Of people commenting on your looks, how bad your singing is, how lame you are. But wishing you were dead? Full on, unbothered and cursing your existence?
“And not just you, but your family too.” he whispers, watching your face fall.
Your family. Your parents, Colt, Falco-
“Excuse me. What did you just say?
Eren doesn’t respond and the tears fall immediately from your eyes, hot and angry as he reaches forward, immediately swiping them away. His expression's pained, he knows this all too well.
“I sent your family a security detail. Don’t worry. Colt was only minorly injured and-”
You stand up and grab Eren’s shirt, bundling the fabric into a fist in your hands, as you glare at him.
“Injured? What the fuck do you mean injured, Eren?”
He sighs, lifting his hands to move yours, and hold them. You’re still clenching hard, so hard you’re sure you’re drawing blood, but he’s doing his best to uncurl your hands as he talks.
“They threw a brick through the window. And the glass, Colt was sitting right there. I was just on the phone with Falco, he said he’s doing better. The security detailing has medical so you don’t have to worry about that again and they’re both okay and-”
“No part of this is okay, Eren! Quit saying it’s okay when it’s not! They almost killed my brothers.”
“Y/N.”
“No. No, this is horrible, Eren. They-they don’t do any of this stuff. Falco’s barely thirteen. And Colt - he’s going to college. He’s not a celebrity, he’s not a singer, he’s just a student. How is he supposed to go out after this? Why- how is it supposed to be normal? And now, they’re going to be like us. They’re going to feel like they’re trapped in this fucking suffocating ass fish bowl and everyone’s watching and laughing at them and they just-”
“Y/N. Stop. It’s not going to-”
“Falco’s too soft for this. He’s just a kid, Eren. I can’t- no. This isn’t fair. Eren, they didn’t even do anything. They’re literally just related to me, they just love me and they’re getting hurt because of it. You- you’re probably getting dragged in the mud too. Everyone who helps me gets subjected to this, loving me comes with this big thing behind me and I can’t even keep people who get it with me. I let you go when you were the only person who understood and I messed it all up and got myself involved with Ricky James of all people and-”
“Y/N. Stop. Please."
You sit flat on Eren’s floor, head in your hands, and cry, teardrops falling straight onto the floor. And Eren’s sitting there with you, with your big mess of jumbled feelings and mistakes, and trying his best to help you with it.
That’s how Levi and Hange find you two, after pocketing the spare key Eren told them about. After he insistently called them and payed for a private jet, going on and on about how Y/N needed them. And here you two are, despite their original conceived notions that you two were fighting, on the floor, in each other’s arms.
“Some things never change, huh?” Hange whispers.
“Yeah. They keep fucking crying every time we see them.” he whispers back.
--
Between Levi and Hange - Jean, Mikasa, and Connie who make it out that night - and Eren and Lana, they fix things. Most things.
Ricky’s narrative about you is clear cut - half-true and half-fake. Your team forced him to date you and defend you for PR purposes, after the Girlfriend incident. There was an agreement that you two would write certain songs, make certain appearances, and support each other.
But then Ricky turns the gate. Says that you’ve deeply, severely hurt him. That you led him on, that you used him to boost your own ego, and that you were dangerously obsessed with fame and not him. That you were all things - heartless, fake, that he doubted if you were even a real person. A glorious pop-star, empty and hollow on the inside.
And people jump on it fast. Citing the fact that you would throw away your friendship with Historia to be famous, that you stopped dating Eren when he stopped being successful, that you can go to tours but not to Mikasa or Jean’s birthday parties.
The worst part? Ricky lied, but the things they pointed out were true. Every mistake you make is on display and that people make it a point to draw attention o it. That you really were in too deep, too deep into pleasing Sareen and Danny, and being a triple threat that you forgot that they were all there too.
Eren, especially. Sweet, sweet Eren who saved you, who held you when you needed him.
You look over at him and Lana, the two of them very aggressively debating how to use their last turn of their daily Wordle, and feel your heart deflate.
You dropped the ball. You’ll never make it up to him.
Lana, in her infinite kindness, has chosen to share her own story, as a corroboration for yours. That Ricky taunted, mocked, and harassed her the entire time they were dating. That you're anything but the things he says. Because she’s had enough and she’ll do it to help out her Tinky-Winky. (Much to Eren’s dismay, he hates that you’re both becoming closer as time goes on.)
And to complement the announcement, Lana asked for one thing. To go out in style. You wrote a song with her and promised her that she was going to be the lead actress in the music video. A girl rage moment, like The Man. Danny and Sareen approve the move, making no comments or concerns about anything else that happened, and ask to be involved when the time comes.
You sit on it for a few days. Till you’re ready. But where you are now - with these people - needs to stay for a little longer. Before you brace everything again.
“Yo.”
You smile, opening up space for Connie on the couch for you.
“Hi Con.”
“Deep in your thoughts there, princess. Thinking about how your album is about to go Multi-Platinum?”
“No. Just the entire thing.” you respond, frowning.
Connie rolls his eyes, reaching forward to squish your cheeks way too hard.
“Ricky, when I catch you, Ricky-” Connie says under his breath,
You snort, reaching forward to push Connie off. You focus back on Eren and Lana, who are now pulling each other's hair and a nice string of insults, as Mikasa and Levi brew their tea, entirely unbothered in the back.
And when the screen in front of you flashes, when your third album goes Multi-Platinum after a week of being released, they’re all climbing on you. Jean and Mikasa are hollering in the back, Connie and Lana are jostling you in the air and pressing kisses to your cheek, and Eren, Levi, and Hange smile at you, the three of them enveloped in their own hug, across the way.
You split your separate ways at the end of the week, when you’re ready. Connie, Jean, and Mikasa return to set, Lana and Eren are gone with the wind, and Levi and Hange disappear again.
When you sit on your plane back home, it sits in. How lonely this entire thing is. How a week full of your friends who love you only happened because of this sickening thing. That it's not a given, that they're presence is only in the bad times and almost never the good.
Your phone buzzes in your lap and you pick up your phone to read the notification.
eren: don’t be a stranger. fish like to swim in schools, not alone.
It’s something that rings in your mind, time and time again. When everyone else wins the war, when you keep performing and letting them take and take, for the sake of the work. For the art, for your dream.
And when you give up acting, singing, and dancing at the end of it all and make zero intentions to ever do any of this again, the question still bothers you.
If fish like to swim in schools, why did Eren push you so far away? Why was he so intent on swimming alone? Where you couldn't follow?
eren: I'm not saying that for you. and I know that this is selfish but...
eren: I need you just as much as you need me.
.
.
.
Fucking liar.
--
next part linked here
taglist:
@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms
#ok#prepare yourselves#he is getting blocked#HE IS GETTING BLOCKED.#anyways#seeingivywrites!#method acting#eren x you#eren x reader#eren x y/n#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x you#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger x y/n#eren yeager#eren yeager x you#eren yeager x y/n#eren yeager x reader#aot#aot x reader#aot x y/n#aot x you#snk#snk x you#snk x reader#snk x y/n#eren fluff
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At this point, I'm just stalking your page! Like I've said before- MASTERPIECES ~
So, if you see me spamming your notifications. I'm just coming in and liking all the posts, now you know why!
But I do have a request for you for the monster trio. Could you write one where the reader talks so much about her family to them, like they feel like they're already part of the family?
Like they already know what family members like and don't, what ticks them off, and such- like they want to meet your family! They want to meet the family that helped raise their girlfriend into the most amazing person in the world! They want to say thank you for allowing them to be part of her world.
So when they hear they'll be going to the island you're from. They get as excited as you to meet/see them, trying their best to look presentable. (Even showering!- I'm looking at you, Luffy, and Zoro👀)
When they met, not only did they welcome him into the family with welcoming arms- HE GETS TREATED BETTER THAN YOU! I can see the family telling them embarrassing stories, showing pictures of you as a kid- He ends up taking some copies of them back to the ship because they can't believe how adorable you were.
Little did he know that they'd already been accepted into the family way before you guys started dating. She would send her family letters telling them how amazing of a boyfriend they are.
I'm so sorry! I got too excited and wrote all this- if it's too much to do to it's okay! I'm close to my family and love them a lot- like I know the monster trio didn't have a great childhood, didn't know their family, etc. Being around a family where you can love each other very much moves them.
Sorry- I'm just rambling! Again! Love your work!!!
this has been in my inbox for fucking months. but im obsessed and finally motivated. lets get fucking wholesome. (idk if youd even see this but hopefully it lives out to your expectations!!)
time of my life ft. monkey d. luffy!
set-up: growing up in a small island with a tight knit community simply meant you were the closest with your parents. they had been your support system, from their grand gestures of love like being present on your important days to the small ones like just offering a shoulder to cry on when you had a rough day, they were truly everything to you. so, it's only natural that you mentioned them a little (or maybe a lot) to your boyfriend. and it may/may not have been a grave mistake.
luffy:
(going off a slight tangent here but its so funny that luffy's character design is just him having giant bug-like himbo eyes and smile. love him 🙏🏼)
♡ everyone loves luffy. that's pretty much his thing. the easiest way to describe him is by thinking of him as a baby goat. no matter how hard you try, you're probably gonna like him at some point or the other. even if you hate animals and babies. its gonna happen because its inevitable. ♡ so, it didn't take you long to figure out that he'd probably fit right in with your family (especially since he was so close with ace whenever he visited, family seemed like his kinda thing) ♡ even before you started dating, when you'd receive letters from your family, luffy was usually the one to ask how they were doing and what you were gonna write back. so, at one point, it seemed as if he knew your family like his own. ♡ he knew of your father's knee pain and your mother's distaste for drinking (she'd probably hate zoro and force him to bath). he knew of your younger sibling's favourite dishes and that they freak out when they see spiders of any size. he listened whenever you talked and for that, you were grateful. ♡ in your recent letters, you may have talked about him. how he's a bit of an idiot but has the heart of gold, how he makes you laugh when you miss your family and how within the crew, you found a new family altogether. ♡ so ofc, one day when you mentioned very briefly that your island is nearby, he and nami had to take a quick detour. ♡ ideally, if your boyfriend knows everything about your family, they'd try to be the perfect boyfriend and do everything right. but this is luffy. so he just remained the exact same and info dumped everything he knew in front of your family (neurodivergent tendencies i presume). ♡ but ofc ur family was obsessed. your mom almost wept tears of joy from how much this bitch was enjoying her food (both you and her lost count after the 17th plate tbh). your sibling almost murdered luffy because now they had to clean a significant amount of plates now. but everyones having a jolly good time (except you 👍🏼) ♡ but now you're parents are showing pictures from your childhood and WHY ARE YOU BUCK NAKED IN LIKE HALF OF THEM JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MOM STOP IT!! YOURE LIKE EMBARASSING ME!! ♡ you ended up leaving after a good three days (the crew had other stuff to get to and a detour can only be so long), but everyone left the place with good memories. sanji has now acquired ten new recipes, zoro may have stolen some alcohol concoction recipes and luffy may have stolen all of your parent's affection towards you. ♡ well whatever, its okay ♡ also, you're not supposed to know this but luffy now has three of your baby photos (all of them may/may not be embarrassing as fuck). it's okay though because it just proves to him that you were adorable then and are adorable now.
a/n: zoro's and sanji's parts will be up soon y'all im trying to write fluff 😭✋🏼
#one piece#opla#monkey d luffy#op#luffy x reader#luffy fic#strawhats#straw hat pirates#one piece luffy
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Ok since this blog is kinda getting alot of attention i'll just make a pinned post about a little bit of myself
----
interested in commissioning me? my art commission page can be found here! (my commissions are closed but my emote commissions are currently open!!)
i accept payment through ko-fi or paypal! feel free to dm to inquire or if you have questions! :D
!! DISCLAIMER !!
Btw please read this before following my blog!! There would be gore,body horror,dark themes and even some suggestive themes Sometimes but overall i do not post any explicit nsfw here !! (they can be filtered through tags but just putting this here as a heads up)
tags are usually: #cw body horror, #tw body horror #cw gore, #tw gore, #cw suggestive, #tw suggestive
Heyy! i'm Soren!
He/Him
You can call me zarou or dra
I am bilingual but im more comfortable speaking in english (still bad at it actually)
i really like cybercore,webcore,warcore aesthetic it may not look like it right now but expect a whole bunch of techcore designs soon
Oh and i am also a huge fan of astronomy,space and all of that sort. Along with post apocalyptic settings,body horror elements and eldritch beings.
Using my art as PFPs/Banners is okay! As long as you give proper credit! But reuploading my works without my permission or claiming them as your own is NOT okay. I will find you and i will hunt you down and turn you into a helpless flopping fish gasping for air.
Inspirations is ok too!! But please do not directly copy from the original work.
Commissions: closed
Art trades: friends/mutuals only
My socials:
Twitter - HINDRANCE77 (!! page contains some suggestive themes !!)
Youtube - HINDRANCE77
Tumblr - hdra77 (you are literally here right now)
Ko-fi - HINDRANCE77
Bluesky - HINDRANCE77
My tags:
#hdra7shitposts - yes, shitposts
#fishdoesart - all my art goes here
#fishdoesdoodles - random doodles and some occasional shitposting, mostly on ms paint
#fishdoesrequests - all my art requests goes here
#wips - wips
#fishbites.txt - ramblings
#other's art - gifts/fanarts! with a mix of some reblogs
#asks - all of my responses goes here
AU TAGS:
Metamorphosis AU
(Tag: #nine sols metamorphosis AU)
- AU masterpost(tba)
- metamorphosis Yi design
Disarray/critical system failure AU
(Tag: #rw disarray au)
- AU masterpost (tba)
- designs
Rainsols AU
(Tag: rainsols au)
- AU masterpost
- designs
OC tags:
Mains:
#7c dystopian arbitrary
#oc : Eclipsed Pantheons
#oc : nine burning skies / #BoP : nine burning skies
#oc : frosted paths unwoven
#rw chronomancer
#rw the cryptid
#7c golden life
General oc tags:
#rw ocs
#rw oc
#ocs
my DNI are basically the general DNI: proshippers,homophobes,etc. you know, the general
my interest varies but i currently hyperfixtate on these fandoms so far:
Rainworld
Nine Sols
Marikinonline4
Animator vs Animation/Animation vs Minecraft
Warrior cats
My dms here are also open so feel free to send me a message! (No weird dms or you get instant block)
Im busy and i dont check discord as frequently but i would be happy to talk to you! I would also be glad to make friends im not intimidating i promise i dont bite totally-
My ask box are always open! Ask me anything basically, my aus, ocs, pretty much anything. You can also send some requests but they will take a gajillion years to finish but i promise ill get them done soon!
My other blogs:
@nyaworld-askblog - for the nyaworld au! this blog is story driven but asks for specific characters are always welcome!
My Rainworld AU tags:
#rw voided au - simple AU about iterators called voideds who drains void fluids out of other iterators, theres also some rot infection going on too
#rw disarray au/SYSTEM FAILURE - a virus in Lttm's code had created a fatal error in her system which caused her to slowly spiral into insanity as she would slowly loosen her grip onto reality, claiming that she had found the solution to their problem..but was it really the answer all along?
#rw nyaworld au - joke au about the entire rainworld cast taking place in the 2000's this one is purely just for nostalgia purposes
#into the sigverse - technically considered an au. this is just a silly little askblog about different versions of NSH interacting because for some reason they can now magically interact with different alternate universe versions of themselves. ocs being used to interact is allowed to!! anyone can use this tag however they please you don't have to send me asks to be a part of the sigverse
-- still WIP --
#i finally introduced myself#i should also change my page aesthetic soon#its been really outdated and i never planned on changing it LMAO#also have i mentioned im also really good with procrastinating
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This took over 20 hours to make I'm deceased... I'm glad it's done I need a break lol
Close ups on the pins under the cut!! (And some extra little notes for fun)
The formatting and graphic design could be better but, again, I just want to be done 😭 so ummm oops sorry !!
Yay yum yayaya art woooo yes !!!
More notes for fun !!
- when I say "loves animals (... not many, but still)" it means he can, has, and WILL burn squirrels alive for free entertainment, as well as shooting animals for fun... but he would also cry and feel awful if he stepped on a dog's foot... he's got favorites, basically, and does NOT hide it
- sun freckles, because why not
- kinda a dirty kid... literally the definition of "boys will be boys 🤪" where he's just always getting into the weirdest shit. You take your eyes off him for 1 second and he returns with mud all over himself and probably has a cat or something and just has the dumbest smile on his face !!! Idiot kid love him tho
- I added a gir pin because I love gir and for fun, doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense.... just roll with it !!
- made him Trans bc psychonauts as a whole is a trans allegory in my mind so, it made sense !! And because he's... 10 he hasn't done anything medical yet, just socially transitioned !! (Adding this point because some people see that and think the wrong things, like those ppl who think 4 year Olds are getting surgery and forcefully getting hormones jabbed into them. NO that's not happening)
- if he was a 2000s kid he'd like a lot of different things, like Mario and sonic games, and certain TV shows and movies (like invader zim, pokemon shows/movies, Disney stuff etc. Just general kids stuff yk?)
- sasha gave him coffee once.... he then proceeded to ramble about random things for hours while he tried to help work on things. So, he was able to focus better but won't shut UP (I'm projecting)
- he enjoys media that reminds him of himself, which is the "odd man out" type stuff, it helps him feel better about feeling like he doesn't belong bc he knows he isn't alone. It's sad but it helps him idk!!
OKAY IM DONE (for now) but yippee wow isn't that cool !!! I'm curious what yall think so lmk if u wanna !! I love hearing what Y'all think of my stuff, and I might post more headcanon type stuff later on if that's something ur interested in, honestly just send me an ask if u wanna know my hc for specific characters!!
OKAY goodbye drink water 💖
#psychonauts#my art#fanart#psychonauts fanart#razputin aquato#psychonauts 2#psychonauts razputin#fan ref sheet#psychonauts fan ref
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GIVE @cannibaleclipseau HEADCANON ASKS ASK THE CHARACTERS ANYTHING IT CAN BE UNHINGED IDC JUST LIKE DHCHCHXHXJXH👹👹‼️‼️ ARGHGHDJDHXHD JUST SEND ME ANYTHING TO THERE… BRO I GET FREAKKNG 1 NOTIFICAGION ON THERE EVERY DAY. 😨 YES IT IS A ASKBLOG YES IT IS A RPBLOG YES IT IS VERY MUCH INACTIVE … you running out of ask ideas?? YOU CAN ASK BM, MOON, SUN OR ECLIPSE ANYTHING (maybe not the others but uh)… JUST. AGDUUDUDUFJCJDH 💔 please I fucking love attention guys. IM SORRY IM LIKE THIS BUT… please? one fucking ask is all I’m asking gays 😼… Like I GET ITS WIP BUT LIKE YOU CAN FIND OUT LORE IF YOU ASK… IDFC about my 100 other WIPS I have, I have way too much free time to just be getting off to fucking cai/j. 💀 call me fucking selfish I deserve it but dude it’s a fucking deserted island in my au blog. Am I not meeting up to your expectations? JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IM DOING WRONG‼️ please you can be honest i swear. Like… i love you guys don’t get me wrong but im sorry im like this. im fucking needy and my satisfaction lasts fucking 1 millisecond 🤩!! JUST. Tell me what you want from me. And you shall receive. FUCK SCHOOL at this point. Im throwing away my social and emotional life for this stupid fucking art career. and for what..? am I really even that good. 💀 … listen I’m sorry for being such a bitch right now but i know I’m a fucking terrible person and I just want you to forgive me on that, I fucking require attention to live or ill never be satisfied. You can vote for the deletion of the blog if you want, it’s not even a big deal… 😨 all im asking is one ask and I’ll be satisfied I swear, thanks. I’m so sorry I’m like this and that you have to deal with me being such a… pain. might as well just delete it huh. I mean it was already painful to constantly be on Deviantart, what’s different? I’m destroying my life doing… everything. I WILL NOT FUCKING GET OVER HOW MUCH I AM DEDICATED TO THIS THING I KNOW WILL RUIN MY LIFE EVEN MORE, no matter how many times you convince me🤩… and I’m tired. I’m just really tired. I usually don’t write anything like this online and post it because I don’t want anyone here dealing with my emo self-hatred crap. So I’m really sorry, about everything I’ve done. All I’m asking is an ask and I won’t kill myself‼️/hj. but this whole thing mentally gets really bad for me, and I can get really suicidal but I just pretend I’m fine. I’m really sorry for asking so much of everyone, and I just want everyone to know that I am so so so grateful for all of the support I’ve gotten from my followers, moots and everyone. Be honest and tell me my au is shit. Yes I agree okay. I’m sorry I’m so terrible, I know I’m a terrible person. I don’t want to seem like I’m overreacting with this. Please don’t think of me differently because of this, I’m sorry I’m typing all of this out for everyone to read. I’m sorry you have to deal with me rambling about something so simple that I could’ve just… simply asked about. Like I know I probably sound so selfish and attention-seeking because… that’s just who I am, I’m sorry. But I don’t really care at this point, I’m just… like this 😇. And I hate that I’m reflecting this on everyone who looks up to me. So please… Im sorry. I’m really sorry. I’m actually so sorry about all of this, and me making such a big fucking deal out of a SIMPLE PROBLEM. If you think I should do anything differently, please tell me. I’d be glad to listen to any feedback you have. But for now… I hope I can get along with everyone on both blogs. And I understand that my other blog won’t MAGICALLY blow up the next morning I make it. So I’m sorry for being so annoying, so self-centered and so… selfish. I’ve never really… cared about any of you guys. But I don’t want to come off as rude, that I’m using you even if I am. Im sorry im like this way, im sorry im such a terrible and selfish person. I’m sorry i just… get so emotional when i do this shit. Please don’t take this that seriously. And please don’t judge me for being so immature. I am so very grateful to everyone, but I’m sorry I’m like this. Bye.
#I’m sorry you have to listen to this.#I’m sorry that I’m terrible.#I didn’t mean to be so overdramatic.#I’m sorry that this is so long.#you don’t have to send asks but I’d appreciate it.#I want you to know I don’t expect your support.#But I’m sorry I’m like this.#cw vent#And I’m sorry that I’m being so rude.#And demanding.#And I promise this won’t happen again.#Please don’t judge me for this.#I’m so sorry.#I’m… really sorry to everyone.#I don’t want this to be such a big deal.#Just ignore this if you want.#I don’t care at this point.#I’m not trying to get your pity.#I’m being genuine and I’m sorry.#Tell me what I’m doing wrong. I can improve.#I’m sorry I’m needy. I’m just like this.#Please don’t make a big fuss about this.#I love all of my followers and everything’s going to be alright.#Everything’s… fine.#I’ll just keep telling myself that.#But have a good day/night#and I’m sorry this was so long…#Thank you and I’m sorry.#I don’t mean to be so emotional. Please don’t judge me.#-kin
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