#okay now I'm tired I'm going to bed
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not to sound rude but if youre not a hellenic polytheist you shouldnt be giving other ppl guidance on how to worship the greek gods....... what youre doing is taking deities out of their original cultural and ethnic context and westernize them
Heyo! I'm gonna assume that you're willing to hear out my response rather than just sending this ask in hoping that I'll suddenly change my entire practice. I'm not quite sure which part of my blog you have a gripe with, so I'll just interpret it both ways;
For one, I.... don't give advice to people who aren't asking for it. I only really post for my followers, and the only time I actively "give advice" is when I either address the reader of a post (AKA my followers, not intended for people who don't like my blog) or B. when someone sends me an ask actively looking to me specifically for my advice because my way of doing deity work resonated with them. I will forever encourage my followers to just fully ignore any of my advice that doesn't resonate with them! Their relationship with their gods is their own, and not mine.
That being said, I think this ask is probably less about advice giving and more about me practicing the wrong way- you're right, I'm not a Hellenic polytheist. Actually, I'm a witch, and I can point you to the entirety of witchblr and witches on just about every other social media to say that I'm not the only one who works with deities this way. Hellenic polytheism and witchcraft are two very different things, they just sometimes include the same deities. A lot of witches work with them, as it's an open pantheon, and they're not Hellenic polytheists either.
I don't give advice on how to worship the gods. In fact, I don't think anyone who considers themselves as worshipping the Greek gods would even find my blog useful because I don't worship the gods I work with. I've spoken quite a bit on here about how I work with them rather than worship, and how important it is to my craft that I view my deities as allies and friends rather than authority figures. I take their advice not because they have any control over my life and choices, but because I trust them.
I'll be honest with you; I find the way Hellenic Polytheists practice to be something that would be harmful to me. I think it's beautiful, and believe me I've actually looked into how they practice- it works for them and I love it! But that way of practicing would destroy my relationship with my deities for reasons I won't bother rambling about on this post. (Long story short: Miasma, amongst other things)
All that to say: the Greek deities are an open pantheon and tons of witches work with them. I respect Hellenic polytheism but it isn't for me. Respectfully, practice your way and allow me to practice mine.
#genuinely I'm willing to listen to people's opinions#and if I'm wrong then I'm wrong#but like#you come onto my blog and tell me that my relationship with the divine is wrong??? I'm not asking you to convert dude#also I work with Loki too#like I never have nor ever will pretend to be a Hellenic Polytheist#my whole blog is my personal experiences as a witch that's it#okay now I'm tired I'm going to bed#got this ask at an insane hour of the night I shouldn't even be up#but I felt like writing anyway lol
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the fallen angel
#i will NOT be working more on the background of this; i have a con to go to tomorrow and i'm tired#and sorry if my shading's not the best 👍 but i did it at least#despicable me#despicable me 4#dm4#despicable me 4 spoilers#maxime le mal#ibispaint#the fallen angel#the fallen angel by alexandre cabanel#okay my vision for this. is that it's right after the scene where he escaped from prison#and he's hiding out in the sewers and plotting#it didn't really turn out how i wanted it to but it's already done now and i'm going to bed
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Regular Leo and Our Other Halves Leo. My little vent outlets:
I head cannon Leo disassociating, reliving events, and having a truly hard time forgiving himself post-movie.
Joys shown through my boy. Art block is starting to hit hard, but I've retaliated by drawing my feelings in two mediums.
#exhausted's art#I'm fine. just tired after a nightmare load of stress. /gen#had some stressful mixed with good news mixed with finals this week#Said news also changes my schedule so that also caused me more stress.#I also didn't take important medicine until later in the day (I need to take it in the morning).#Was going to take it earlier but went back to bed after my last early morning class (because I was eepy).#So now I pay the consequences#I'll be okay though. I'll be back to my “normal” self in a day or two.#our other halves#rottmnt#art#my art#tmnt fandom#rottmnt leo#ooh leo#rottmnt ooh#tw eyestrain#tw dissociation#should I put other trigger warnings?/gen
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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pros of being mostly immune to online impulse purchases: I can save my money and use it on more necessary things, like rent and groceries
cons of being mostly immune to online impulse purchases: I don't get to have The Thing
#sobbing crying etc etc. I'm okay just dumb#ordered a custom thing but the colors ended up looking different from how I thought they would. 0 dead 1 dying of Stupid About It (me)#it's still very cool in its own right and it was Expensive for us. it was just me fucking up and choosing the wrong color...#and there's no real way to request a different version without just. buying a new one basically#but the site is still having a sale and it's chewing at me so bad right now. but it's not something I can afford to impulse buy#and even if somebody did just plop a big donation/order a big commission etc etc right now I still couldn't justify it#because there are other things I should take care of first#instead of replacing something that's not technically broken. it's literally just not the color I thought it would be but aaaUUUUUUUGHHHH.#I'm just mad and sad and tired and stressed and should go to bed and stop thinking about it. it's fine. it's literally fine.#just kicking myself for it and about a billion other tiny stupid things right now.#storm speaking
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my online friends are so cool too bad trying to talk to people causes me genuine agony
#rune rambles#i'm so tired of feeling like i'm not “worthy” of talking to others#please brain give me a break#okay i'm going to bed now
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the "foundation" of the castle will use prismarine blocks btw, here's a rough example
i can't decide, and i keep forgetting about all the blocks they've added in the past few years which makes me excited and harder to make a decision
#op#minecraft#also i'm tired because i was just 'starting a save before going to bed' then 'just looking for a good place to start building the palace'#and now this#anyway the prismarine being the foundation is important for lore! that was what my old castle had#the people in this kingdom had a very close relationship with the local merfolk and even though the merfolk are gone there are still#remnants of their influence. everyone uses prismarine blocks for the foundation of their buildings in this kingdom because prismarine is#enchanted to give protection to those who use it as a base#i'm tired sorry for bad wording#OKAY BUT I HAVE SO MANY NEW BLOCKS TO PLAY WITH MAYBE LOSING MY OLD SAVE ISN'T THE END OF THE WORLD#it was like 7 years ago i made it so LOTS of stuff has been added#mineblr#forgot to add outreach tags
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help I'm suddenly waxing extremely emo abt Enid "friendless lone(ly)-wolf but at least free to exist as her truest self" vs. Rad "having friends but at the cost of being completely-utterly trapped by Their opinions/expectations of him", wahhhh,,,,,
#not new territory being tread on here in the slightest but my emotions are SENSITIVE right now okay jhgjjsjfg x'3c#something something Core WoundsTM and the ways different people react/respond to essentially-the-same scenarios I already said it I'm E M O#I was writing up a whole babbleramble which eventually (d?)evolved into this Main PointTM by the end so take the tldr version x'D#anyways I am TIRED I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight lmfao#shut up Wisp#once again my apologies for this going in the tag lolol#OK KO
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Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passenger’s seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good 😬 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasn’t sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway 😭 like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao
#this is kinda snz kink ain't it?#whatever idc i feel so gross and I'm tired lmao#i might shower again before i go to bed idk lmao#OH ALSO important to note#he was stifling with his fingers so he was getting that shit all over his hands i was like IN MY CAR????? fucking horrific#again it's objectively hot but not when it's in front of me 😭#i hope y'all are enjoyjng this at least bc I'm not lmao i was trying not to pass away the whole day#like i feel so bad bc i consider my partner a friend so obviously i care about him and wanna help#but at the same time i literally can't train my disgust reaction out of me#I'm fucking weird when it comes to who I'm more okay with being around when they might be sick#like if he wasn't my usual partner or if he was just some random coworker i wouldn't have given him a ride#like i did it scared but i still did it lmao#anyway#i told him to text me tomorrow so i know he's not dead and to call if he needs anything#so we'll see what comes of that#and i will be passing away if he gets me sick so stay tuned for that#knock on wood i haven't been sick since i was 13 and I'm almost 22 now#and last time i was sick i had strep and bronchitis at the same time so that wasn't good#but other than that it's just been allergy flare ups#so other than the vaccine reactions i genuinely don't remember what it's like to actually be sick#so let's hope i just manage to avoid it 😭
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Fighting the battle against the brain weasels tonight, who are busy trying to convince me to do the thing that I know (think? hope?) I'll deeply regret come morning. Not sure if I'm winning or losing right now.
#airas life#the brain sucks sometimes#need to work through whatever is in my head right now#probably shouldn't delete everything I've ever written#and disappear#I actually like most of it you know?#and would be very sad in the morning#I don't think this is burn out#because I'm still enjoying writing and sharing and the process#I just... don't really know what's going on in my brain right now#but I shouldn't make choices like this when sick and tired#I'd say it's time for bed but that would require getting the brain weasels to shut up#and to stop crying#i don't even know why I'm crying#or why I feel this way#came out of nowhere#okay I'm done#I just had to say this somewhere#it was getting suffocating#but who am I supposed to talk to?#anyways the tags felt almost safe#pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain
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[captain holt voice]
D O O M S C R O L L I N G
#I sleep now#I'm so tired#captain holt#captain raymond holt#brooklyn 99#brooklyn nine nine#i'm going to go forage for food at four in the morning before going to bed#forage for food at four#say that five times fast#okay goodnight
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Swiftli week, day 4
Free theme! (Laser tag)
Summary:
“I’d easily get more hits on you than you on me!” Taylor claims.
Lincoln’s smile turns into a playful smirk. “Oh is that right?”
Taylor leans in, standing on his tiptoes to get a little bit closer to Lincoln’s level. It makes him think of those professional boxing stare-showdowns. “Yea, that’s right, Mr. Li-Wilson.”
“You’re on, Swift.”
“Guys, we literally just finished the first game,” Normal tries to pipe up in between the two, “Maybe it's time for a little break first?”
“No! Someone has to taste true defeat,” Taylor shouts and points to the air, like an anime character ready for the fight, and picks up his laser tag armor again.
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OR:
Lincoln and Taylor get a little too competitive in a game of laser tag and are willing to do everything to win
#I'm so so tired#not going to write and edit a fic again in like 2 days in combination with theater preperation stuff and university stuff#but wooow yeaaa a laser tag fic with swiftli#dndads#dndads s2#dungeons and daddies#swiftli#taylor swift#lincoln li wilson#fanfic#my writing#dndads swiftli week 2024#anyways I'm going to sleep now good night#i might reread the story again tomorrow and make a few more edits because I don't believe that all spelling errors have been taken out now#okay I'm really going to bed now
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..
#cw vent#i just wanted to update if anybody was curious#its almost 00:30 where i live#i am officially 16 years old#i was extremely worried about this last night but. i think i'll be okay#i can't stop myself from aging so i'll just have to keep on going whether i like it or not#sorry if i worried anybody#i'm going to try to get better#i promise i am going to try really really hard. i will become better and i will become happy#aaand its 00:30 now as i'm typing this#that was around the time i was born apparently#i was born during the night. does that mean i'm more likely to be a night owl?#i'm actually kind of tired right now though ...#i stayed up really late last night and ended up getting like four hours of sleep last night#i think i might just go to bed after i've finished listening to this album#i'm relistening to the first c sh album :3 its soooo good i love it#i will never not support the numbered albums#i wonder if anybody reads all of this. if you're reading this then#:3 🤝 :3 i am shaking your hand#and i'm glad you are alive
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just accidentally spilled an entire water bottle on my bed :)
took my sheets off and put a towel over it. then looked up what to do just in case and. like everything said "use a fan" and "mold could happen so be careful" and now i am Terrified of getting mold since so much spilled and since i don't have any fans. i am so tired oh my god i just want to go to bed
#like genuinely terrified of it molding now#so that's great :)#i just wanna go to bed but i feel like i have to tend to my mattress#but i won't be able to work well tomorrow if i stay up super late tending to a mattress i can't even sleep on tonight#ugh sorry the thought of having to buy a new mattress bc of mold Terrifies me#i am a teacher universe like i save a lot but i do not make a lot of money :)#anyways sorry for rambling it's been one of those nights#i was actually having a pretty good day until then#i was getting settled in for the night... put my water bottle down on my bed while i went to piss#and then i was going to get in it and lie down after a long day of work#aND IT FELL AND SPILLED#like yeah that's on me for being stupid but i like keeping water in my room!!! that one hadn't spilled before so i thought i'd be fine for#the few minutes i'd be gone but nooooooo#okay i'm done now sorry#super tired and super paranoid#and my mom said to put my mattress pad over the shower like bestie i live in an apt you think i'm putting my WHITE mattress pad on the rod?#absolutely not i know that's pathetic of me but idc i DON'T do stains not at all nope nope nope#okay done now for real sorry#just freaked :)#corey talks:)
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group holidays are always fine in theory until people begin to grate on you on day 2
#namely my roommate#i just want to do things alone or not at his instruction !!!!#like i didn't want to go to bed now and i can hear the others fucking around outside#but he said goodnight all and shut the door so i guess we're going to bed#but we're not going to bed are we bc he's doing his full belly laugh every 30 seconds#hnnggghhhg#this is just a little vent but i'm so tired#and the two of us are never apart!!!#i love him but only in small doses#and i was not asked if i wanted to room with him. it just. got decided.#and i get why. it makes sense for a variety of reasons#but he's just driving me a little crazy#okay that's more of a vent than i thought it would be. i'm going to go for a walk tomorrow by myself i think
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You know how sometimes you think about something sweet and your mind goes "but what if we made it darker?".
Yeah.
So what if Max's mom was revived somehow?
Like we talked about it happening with Marguerite in the past, and the way it fucked with Mia, but what about in this case? How much would it fuck with Max?
Would he be happy, cause she's back? Sad, because it's not his entire family? Traumatized, cause "oh god he saw her broken body, bleeding on the ground and *he ran*, he ran away and he couldn't save them, couldn't save his siblings, her other children, she must hate him, want him gone, he is a monster and undeserving..."?
How would she react to him? (I like to think she would forgive him, would hold and love him. Maybe be a bit overprotective about Dani and the others, because she knows their rep, and he is her "last child left".)
How would she respond to having a son now, rather than the daughter she thought she had? (I hope she would love him all the same, he deserves that much. (Darker thought that it's more because of her not wanting to lose another kid than overall acceptance/understanding, but ehhhh, that might *too* dark. Though I could at least see the confusion still))
How did she get back? My bet's on Miranda - looking for new ways to revive some of her fallen followers, to bolster her ranks once more, and started with his family because, even if they were ripped apart by Lycans, that's easier to repair than those burnt alive. And Alcina won't let her close enough to her property to use the scarecrows or zombie maidens anymore. Plus "(he)'s always whining about the loss, anyhow. (He) should be grateful I'm so generous." (As if she would ever do anything for reasons other than her own gain, and maybe to try to get on Mia's good side more by appealing to one of her "friends").
What if she came back wrong?
Anyway, long post is long. Sorry for the rambling lol (Yes I put some of Miranda's speech in parenthesis cause I refuse to misgender Max, even to quote that bitch)
When I tell you I went fucking FERAL FOR THIS–
OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY–
I strongly believe pulling bodies from the rubble of the slaughter and deciding to play God is something Miranda would do. However, I find it far more likely that she would pull Max’s mom by pure chance more than anything. Perhaps she was simply scouring the aftermath and his mom’s corpse was one of the less-mangled/easier to repair bodies she came across. Took any valuables off, stripped the body, and went to work mending the flesh and repairing what she could manually before starting on Cadou injections. And because Miranda had more than one corpse that she pulled, Max’s Mom wasn’t the first to be experimented on, so she wasn’t revived until recently.
Now, having memories in tact when revived was slowly becoming a trend, so she wasn’t surprised when the woman woke up, looked directly to her, and let out a raspy “Mo–ther Mir…a-nda…?” Recognizing something as significant as herself was obvious. But she seemed to retain… more than the basics. When she started coming around, getting more aware, she started to panic. Rambling on about the Lycans, standing from the operating table and calling for various names. None of which Miranda knew except for “Maxima”–(Which, let's be real she only knows his (dead)name because he’s such a disrespectful shit towards her)
So, in typical “Let’s see how far this goes” Miranda fashion, she points his mom in the right direction to find Max. (AKA the giant castle that is commonly known as a human death trap. So his mom is freaking out a little at that information) Then just kind of… sends her off with nothing else.
Okay, so, once his mom finds him in the castle and they’re technically reunited, Max is just…. So many things at once. Emotions are so high, for both of them.
On Max’s side, he’s… He’s happy, but also incredibly confused, and terrified, and just…. Every emotion imaginable feels like it’s weighing on him. His mom is here, alive, but there’s scars and stitches and her skin tone is a sickly pale that almost rivals Alcina. All the evidence of what happened on display, it reminds him of what he’s tried so hard to forget but… But she’s here. For real. He can touch her, say everything he didn’t get to, he can hug her, but he doesn’t know if he should. So much about it hurts, but not all of it is in a bad way.
And that doesn’t even cover the guilt and trauma that seeing her brings. That’s a whole other beast. When his mother asks him what happened to his other siblings, he can’t even begin to try and tell her. How can he? How is he supposed to explain what he allowed to happen, all because he was too much a fucking coward. That all he did was run. That even the one he managed to get to a safe location died anyway. That the only child she has left is the only one that deserves to be dead.
He hasn’t felt the weight of emotions like this since that day, and that’s evident when he starts having a full breakdown over it all. He can’t stop himself from shaking and when the tears come he can’t hide it. When she pulls him into a hug in a hope to comfort him, he clings onto her as if it’s life or death. Because to him it may as well be.
And from her side…. She doesn’t even know what to think. He looks so incredibly different from what she remembers. She almost didn’t realize who he was, but that face and those eyes are unmistakable to her. He looks older than he should, she thinks, and tired. As if he hasn’t slept in years. And the scars. Not to mention… everything else about his appearance. She has so many questions for him, but she asks about her other children first.
The look he gives her is answer enough, but the sobbing that quickly follows it is all the confirmation she needs. Her heart twists like a knot, knowing her children suffered the same fate as her, the pain and fear they all must have felt. That Max has suffered all this time, a lone survivor. When she pulls him into a hug, he squeezes her tight, and for a while they just… sit, on the floor. She rocks him a little, strokes his hair, anything to try and calm him. Between his heavy sobs are raspy apologies. He’s so sorry, he tells her, he should have done more. He couldn’t save them. He was so scared and the Lycans came so fast. And she tells him to hush. She’s not upset with him, it wasn’t his fault, she loves and forgives him. Whatever he needs to hear in order to compose himself a little.
In terms of Max’s transitioning, it definitely takes her by surprise. She isn’t necessarily upset about it in any way, he’s still her baby, and she’ll love him no matter what identity he chooses to go by. But she also doesn’t fully understand it. And he doesn’t expect her to, as long as she’s supportive. She might slip up and misgender him by accident on occasion, but it’s not malicious, and she does correct herself/make an effort to get it right. It might’ve caught her off guard at first, but her love is unconditional. (Also her saying “You’ve grown into a handsome young man.” to him would make him burst into tears again. Like that’s something he would fantasize about.)
I do think the only thing that gets her is the fact… Max is basically integrated into the Dimitrescu family at this point. Like, when Max tells her “You should meet my girlfriend.” She didn’t expect to meet with one of the Dimitrescu Daughters (though Daniela does try to be very polite), nevermind wind up meeting all of them, and Lady Dimitrescu herself.
It does put her into a bit of a protective stance, though. Despite Max insisting things are perfectly fine and the Dimitrescus really aren’t as evil as the stories say, she can’t quite help but be… nervous. They don’t really blame her. (Perhaps she’s a little… too protective. But Max doesn’t seem to mind it.)
Now, the idea that she comes back wrong is even more interesting, because I like to imagine a scenario in which both these worlds exist.
Max gets his mom back, happy family, all is good. For a while, anyway. And then things… change.
Maybe his mom starts becoming a little hostile. More aggressive towards everybody. It starts off little at first, and Max tries to chalk it up to simple stress from trying to adjust to everything. His mom isn’t an angry person, after all. But it slowly starts getting more out of hand, to a point it feels like she’s trying to be territorial.
Of him.
And it’s not something she’s particularly thrilled over. It’s a very “I can’t control myself” scenario. Kind of like a parasite slowly eating at her mind and turning her into a host.
And I just think it would be really fun if it culminated in some physical fight between her and Daniela, and Max having to step in and break it apart.
#this response took up 3 1/2 pages in my google docs enjoy#also miranda would def show up at some point just to be like ''Yes t'was I who brought (his) mother back from the dead! Aren't I gracious a#and amazing and illustrious an-''#meanwhile everybody else is like ''SHUT UP"#if there's spelling errors it's cause i'm very tired but i had to finish this because brain worms. okay bed time for boat now#asks#coleblackblood#maximus vulpe#also i think his mom would vibe with elena#and melon#she'd look at mel and go ''aren't you that sad child that stole an apple from the market??''
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