#okay no more complaining about this i prommy

[quietlyblooms]

why is is it my muse always skyrockets when my mind is at its least motivated and/or murkiest

[lynxalon]

i've seen a fair bit of... pessimism about dorym lately, esp with the ep107, for example wondering if dorian's opposing views on the gods making orym fall out of love, and i have to say. i very highly doubt it, ur fr talking about the man who has held on to will for so long, holding onto will's family and affectionately calling this *his* family too because that didn't stop when will died. i dont think falling out of love is an option or even a thought to orym.

that said, we know that orym has contingencies for if anyone in bells hells crosses the line into being a version of themselves they would despise, for anyone who jeopardizes their mission. his mission. i think, for the first time since knowing dorian, orym finally has a contingency for him. the longer dorian is back, the more orym sees how scarred he is by what's happened (understandable so) and knows that dorian is with bells hells all the way. but if he isn't...

[misasimagines]

dating hcs / reader x Ren (Tokyo Debunker)

included characters: all about Ren (much like the rest of my blog sometimes...)

rating: SFW, nothing NSFW here I prommy.

warnings: he's just a menace. Only thing assumed about the reader is that you are smaller than him in one bullet point. These are also much more casual and not as polished as I try to make my normal fics so sorry if that bothers you!

I can't promise there won't maybe eventually be a part 2 or a NSFW version of this. genuinely someone save me please im being held hostage in my own brain.

Level 10 clinger but he won't admit it. He's just like Where are you going :/ when you get up and it's like bro I've been here 4 hours? And he's like …. whatever you can leave …. And that obviously means he does not want you to leave.

But it's somewhat okay! Because he actually gives really good hugs. Just only to you, everyone else gets the stiffest and most uncomfortable hugs that result in him shoving them away and groaning and complaining about harassment. With you, you get a nice snuggly hug and he groans and complains if you try to wiggle out too soon. give and take.

You can go make yourself some ramen and he's like hanging off you, arms wrapped around your waist, resting his chin on your head or shoulder like, are you making me ramen too? And you give in because he's being uncommonly cute. And then he's immediately giving demands like don't cook it too long and it gets mushy, that's gross, and don't add the seasoning packet on top like that because it gets all clumpy and gross like BOY do you want your ramen cooked for you OR NOT? No matter how you make it, he's going to make a face and be like “This is trash…no I'll eat it…it's whatever…” it's not trash, he's very touched, he's just insufferable.

If you're sleeping in the same bed as him and get up in the morning before he does, there is a non-zero (and by non zero I mean incredibly high) chance he's just grabbing you around the waist, pulling you back down, and complaining that it's too early. Okay? I have a job??? He will just hold you tightly and whine at you that he was warm and comfortable and you can't just leave him, he doesn't sleep as well without you. He's too tired to really realize what he's saying and will deny this later, instead being like ugh whatever you take up too much room in my bed, you're lucky I sacrifice so much for you… (wait don't go back to your room tonight, take me with you-)

On sleeping, you probably go in thinking that sharing a bed with him will be just sleeping on opposite sides as separate as possible. Not true. He's the big spoon and you are no different from a body pillow now the way he's laying half on top of you. If it's too hot though, then yeah, get out of his bed….I mean don't really, he'll complain if you leave, but he's sprawled out and doesn't want you to touch him at all.

Really doesn't want to go on dates. He's like we can just stay in, right? ….watch a movie and play games…. going out sucks and it's expensive and we could run into people we know and they'd ruin it anyway… but when there's a new movie that he wants to see, he's like we Have To Go. We Have To. But when it was YOUR ice cream shop he's like….it's too cold out to get ice cream why do you want to go there?? Just buy a popsicle at the convenience store or smth….

He will give in and do things you want, though. You just have to be clear with him that it should be fair and equal, where you go and when. You stay in with him one day, he goes out with you another. Equality. This doesn't stop him from complaining. He's true to himself there.

Really though he's just embarrassed about going out and being perceived as Guy Who Goes On Dates because that's just. Too much. So if he's ever really apprehensive, he's probably just overthinking and overstimulated by it and you should probably just accept it's a stay at home night.

Like if someone starts poking fun at him for being your boyfriend or something he's like instantly kind of freaked out and bothered. Not because he doesn't want to be your boyfriend but because having it pointed out and being a part of his identity just kind of scares him. He'll be off and probably a bit avoidant for a few hours at least because of this.

He DOES use you for excuses though. Haru walks in and Ren's like nope can't do anything today look, they're laying on top of me, can't move, would ruin their day, you don't want to ruin their day right? If you want them to suffer, you can make me leave and do work but that's on you then. And of course Haru is like 😭 I could never do damage to your lovely partner 😭 

Your own participation doesn't matter here. You could be standing up and the second Ren hears Haru's footsteps, he's yanking you down on top of him so he can make that excuse. 

As awful and selfish as he is, he can be sweet, he just can't have it acknowledged. He'll bring you stuff from the store if he thinks/knows you like it and he'll pick out movies you'd like and he would 100% follow you around in a mmo he made you start and just murder all the enemies for you so you can progress easily. + He's throwing high level gear your way because he doesn't need it and he would grind for the cute pet you wanted so he can give it to you.

If you want to vent and complain and bitch, he's your man. He's like yeah fuck that guy (never met that guy in his life) he sucks. He's your biggest supporter for being a hater. If you're like I hate this person - when he meets them? He hates this person too. They don't have a chance here.

Coworker or peer who's mean to you? He meets them and is immediately like [disgusted face] I see what you mean. And the coworker is like??? See what??? Bro???? And he's mean! He's not nice to them. He's not actively insulting them, but whenever they talk he's making a face and sighing like he's never been so disgusted before.

He also holds grudges for you. Someone bumps into you in public and doesn't apologize? Permanent spot on his shit list. Friend argument that makes you upset or, even worse, cry? That friend is dead to him and he will not forgive them on your behalf. Doesn't matter if you don't care or you forgive them, he is not letting it go.

Will put on actually scary horror movies to watch so when it's time for you to go home/send him home, you're like……um I don't want to be alone, I'm scared. And then he can be like ugggh fine I guess I can stay, you're so needy (LETS FUCKING GOOOO)

Doesn't really do pet names, but if you call him a pet name like babe, honey, sweetie, etc he's blushing and he'll basically do anything you want because he doesn't know how to Think right now.

If you're upset about something, he's not great at advice or comforting words, but he'll cuddle you and let you relax and he won't complain about it. He'll even go pick up a comfort meal for you or make you some tea/coffee/etc. He'll be like, You like this movie right? We can watch it. - even though you know, for a fact, he cannot stand that movie. 

He'll just hold you and pet your head and listen and stay quiet for once.

Mostly, he doesn't like attention being brought to any of the sweet or generous things he does, and he has to ruin most of his own shows of affection by being selfish or whiney. It doesn't mean that he didn't have good intentions when he did the nice act, he just can't have them like super focused on because he gets embarrassed. Say thank you or give him a little kiss on the cheek and don't gush about it and he'll be okay. Maybe a little blushy but okay.

Also he's a drama queen. I don't think I even need to elaborate on this because it's so evident but he just reacts intensely to some things even if he tries really hard to be Too Cool to look more than just annoyed. Good Luck Fellow Soldiers.

Actually please pull the most basic “jump out and scare him” pranks because he screams every time and it's hilarious and he hates it but it's payback for all the bad horror movies.

Also payback because he'd let you borrow his hoodies, and the sleeves would be too long for you, and when you're not paying attention, he'd pull the loose ends behind your back and tie them together and then pull the hood over your face so you're trapped and can't see. This is because he is evil. And he does it whenever he thinks you've forgotten that he does this, and even if you remember and fight back, it's a losing battle. He deserves all the terrible things that happen to him 🫡

He looks so smug when he does this and mostly just uses it for leverage to make you stay with him longer than you planned to or if you were being bratty or something. 

If you Wise up and try to avoid this, he'll just come up with new methods. He's stubborn and you're basically challenging him so… best of luck, soldier 🫡

[josecariohca]

hiiiiii guess who's just barely aliveeeeeee its meeeeeeee pls ignore the read more i just need to complain bc its my favorite thing to do in the whole world ok thx <3

lol. lmao even.

im still alive (somehow), but working fulltime and trying to finish these applications has left no time for fuck all else and i hateeeeeeee being forced to liveeeeeeeee in a capitalistic society i hate working i hate having to work to survive and i knooow how this sounds i know. and like the company isnt even bad. i do genuinely like the company and its funny seeing everyone react to me being the only brazilian in the store and get excited someone finally speaks portuguese, but like. i still fucking hate working fulltime, i hate not being able to enjoy my free time bc i dont even have free time anymore

my mom has been up my ass about me moving and she takes everything as a fucking competition and im not going into the hows and whys of it all but like. at this point i truly wish i could just spend christmas by myself just so i can get away from it all.

and i HAD this job interview scheduled today for the INCREDIBLY renowned publishing house that's also a huge name in the museum sphere and they wanted to interview me same day but i COULDNT because i was WORKING and so now i fucking lost the interview bc they filled the position

AND I JUST WANT TO JHGFCDFVGBHJKJH AAAAAAHHHHHHHH i wanted it so bad i wanted that job soooooo fucking baaaddddddd it would have been GORGEOUS on my resume it would have been sooo sexy on my resume but i LOST IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whatever at least i have a job and it pays well and its close by so i can walk to it. whatever. if they get another opening im not fucking missing it, but at least im not without work. so. its fine.

ITS FINE.

okay i think im done complaining uhhhh im sorry to all the messages i have ill respond soon i prommy im just. very tired rn. but ill get there soon i havent forgotten im just. wallowing. working. grumbling. all the things i do best yknow yknowwwwwww

ok bye!!!! :D

[jewwyfeesh]

Tasty Travels - An Unexpected Journey 1

Writer: Mitsuki

Character(s): Suou Tsukasa, Tsukinaga Leo, Sena Izumi, Sakuma Ritsu, Narukami Arashi

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Leo: Suo~ Why’re you asking such simple questions hm~? Are you still sleepy? In that case, you can sleep by Rittsu’s side! I prommy I’m a real good driver!

Season: Summer Location: Outside Ensemble Square

Izumi: Even if you did manage to make it by our meeting time… Kuma-kun, don’t you dare go back to sleep! And don’t drool on my shoulder!

Goodness, if it weren’t for you lazing around in bed, there’s no need for us to rush like mad. Speaking of which, where’s the driver? He’s supposed to be here already.

Ritsu: Secchaaaaan, don’t just complain and complain okay~ It’s something that couldn’t be helped… Maa~kun’s always so busy with work nowadays, there’s no one around to wake me up…

Moreover, I am being independent today. I even woke up all by myself~ I’m doing my very bestest right now.

Arashi: Oh my. I think the reason why the driver isn’t here yet is because someone’s missing.

Tsukasa: Leo-senpai’s still not here, but it’s almost past our scheduled rendezvous time… He’s always running late and causing trouble for everyone else. Does he seriously not have any knightly Pride? No? None at all?

I don’t think I’ll get a reply in time even if I were to send him a message now… Argh!! If I had known, I would’ve sent someone to track his movements yesterday!

Arashi: ……Um, Tsukasa-chan, something tells me whatever you’re saying right now isn’t particularly… knightly, either.

Ritsu: Uuu~ I think there’s… some sort of weird noise… it’s keeping me awake… do you not hear it too…?

Tsukasa: It sound’s like a trumpet, but this Rhythm…

Why on Earth would someone try to use a car’s horn to play ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’!?

Izumi: Haa? Kasa-kun, you were able to tell?

Arashi: Hold on! I think there’s a really flashy car coming our way!

Eh? The one in the driver’s seat… Leo-kun?!

Tsukasa: WHAT?! Leo-senpai?? No, no no no, we need to board that car and stop him before he does something stupid!

<After the four of them board the car>

Tsukasa: I know it’s a little late to ask this now, but the Agency told us they had arranged for us to go on a short trip in a Jeep… So, why did that suddenly change into Leo-senpai being the one to drive us around?

Ritsu: True~ The type of car is completely different too. However, this one’s more spacious, and the interior is super duper comfy… Mhm, rated 10/10 for sleepability ♪

Leo: Wahaha ☆ That’s because there’s been a change, and now the tour’s driver and tour guide is-a me!

Suo~ Why’re you asking such simple questions hm~? Are you still sleepy? In that case, you can sleep by Rittsu’s side! I prommy I’m a real good driver!

Izumi: The problem isn’t as shallow as you think it is! Not to mention, I would’ve let it slide if Leo-kun’s just driving us around, but to be our tour guide too? Why would the agency allow that? Are you going to take us to some weird place?

Arashi: Ufufu, well, I’m completely fine with it~ The most important thing is that the five of us are going sightseeing together.

Leo: That’s right, that’s right! Kudos to Naru for explaining on my behalf! Sena, you don’t needa be so uptight about it, kay? Not to mention, I’m clearly doing a good deed!

Without further ado, off we go ☆

chapter 2 →

[may-bonne]

Lmao I'd never give you a virus I prommy 👉👈 I found that site through another tumblr post ages ago

I'm gonna wait until I finish Bloodrayne to send another long anon with all my thoughts 🫀 But I will say that I want to put Katarin and Holga Kilgore in a room together. Have you ever seen either of the Machete movies? They're both dumb fun. The first is way better than the sequel imo though

SOMEBODY should have ripped that fake mustache off. Thinking about that one interview where Mrod talks about how bizarre filming that sex scene was for her. She says something like "Frank has a very different idea of that than I do" lol. Since that was definitely the first time he got laid without coughing up hit money first, I doubt he knew that you don't want a girl looking at you like that before you fuck

I'm hard pressed to think of a single decision made by any character that makes sense. By the end of the movie, it feels almost pointless? Nothing really changed. Frank came away with a dog and gender dysphoria. He shot a bunch of dudes like he always does. Got the revenge. But there should have been forgiveness for Johnnie. He couldn't bring himself to shoot her and for a cold blooded assassin, it feels like that should have gone somewhere more significant than just sending her away

"Buddies" activated the dog part of Frank's brain. He's like a sad street dog that got out of a shelter and won't let people approach him

Idk anything about writing a screenplay either so you won't hear any complaints from me. It sucks that the only other person I've seen that likes The Assignment doesn't have anon turned on. I found your blog through theirs though so can't complain

i want to watch machete!! resident evil is the next thing on my list but then i def will. i gotta finish season 2 of lost, too. i kind of go back and forth between mrod and jordana brewster and i'm really swinging back towards mitchie right now lol

in the interviews i read she said that to get into character she went on tinder as a man and i would fucking love to see what that profile looked like. (also this just occurred to me but i feel like frank should definitely be jerking off in the shower pre-op. i'm gonna go add that in right now)

frank has major runt-of-the-litter energy. i saw a post on here the other day that was like "he's got that abandoned shelter dog rizz. he looks like he wants to sit quietly beside you on the couch while you watch tv" and immediately thought of this pic:

very much frank's vibe. i want to towel him dry and pinch his nose until he stops trying to spit out his estradiol

mrod plays all these tough chicks and then i am immediately seized with visions of them rain-soaked and shivering with sweet little kitty ears. holga is the lone exception and i think it's because she's the only one of them who doesn't seem like she's on the verge of a massive sexuality crisis. i guess katarin's would be more along the lines of "my people need me! i can't fuck this vampire!" i would love to see her talk to holga. my personal dream is a d.e.b.s. sequel where mrod plays some kind of european villain doing that exact same accent. or she could just be a jersey mobster. i'm not picky

while we're exchanging mrod media i feel compelled to share this spoken word piece she posted on tumblr in 2014 because i feel everybody should know about it

this reply is already too long but whatevs i'm going to ramble about the rewrite now. i wrote dr. jane's big villain monologue yesterday and it was fun as hell. i've changed her motivation for doing the surgery on frank to wanting to prove that she was such an incredible surgeon that she could create an altered body so perfect it would triumph over the mind and he would eventually come to see himself as a woman. but she tells dr. galen she failed because frank was never a man in the first place insofar as he never formed any sense of self beyond being a killer so it was like trying to perform surgery on a gun. meanwhile we see frank slowly starting to realize other people have lives by clumsily expressing sympathy for prostitutes etc. i also had johnnie give him some ace bandages after watching him almost take his nips off with tape 'cause good lord. in the last scene he's in a sports bra. character development!!

i cut all the shakespeare and poe and just have her quoting the hippocratic corpus and stuff. i was talking to myself in the shower yesterday (in my dreams i am invited to appear on national television to share my opinions on mrod movies while america watches raptly) and had more thoughts about the literary allusions but i'll save those for later

also if you're talking about who i think you are, her mainblog is missin-you-already and she has anon on there! i haven't talked to her that much about the assignment, though, so i dunno if she has thoughts. although it's hard to imagine anyone wouldn't

[loveofdetail]

I love Terra Ignota in and of itself, but I also love what it (maybe) represents in the SFF landscape. I love that a work this unconventional and demanding got traditionally published, and by a debut author at that. These books were never going to be bestsellers (My local B&N has never stocked them!) but still/instead seem well-poised to take their place as influential sci-fi classics for decades and decades.

I have heard people complain that the first book, Too Like The Lightning, has no resolution and payoff. And actually? This is correct! Because what Ada Palmer has done is written the kind of story where dedicating the entire first volume to setup is not a flaw.

Does that strike you as an odd claim? Does it seem like an entire book of setup could never be anything but a hurdle to overcome? Maybe, for some stories, a begrudging necessity, but not something that could ever be a strength in its own right?

I think literary tastes have converged on a narrow range of easily parsable, reliably sellable plot structures. Hook rising action clear climax and that denouement better not overstay its welcome. I think modern readers assume, almost completely unconsciously, that the reason for this structure's ubiquity is because it really is the "best". Your average goodreads reviewer talks about books as though story structure is a solved problem, a closed case, and doesn't even realize that they think that. So the mere concept "story that genuinely REQUIRES a whole book of setup" is greeted with surprise and skepticism. Could any story REALLY need that? Where were the tough-love beta readers to tell this author to kill their darlings? Okay, maybe you actually have come up with a story (some kind of insane leviathan of a story) that DOES need a whole book of setup—but wouldn't a story that doesn't need that be a better story to write?

(🙄)

Individuals of course vary in their tolerance for deviation from the formula, but even celebrations of unusual story structures are often couched in terms of "making it work" (assuming unworkability as baseline) or, more tellingly still, being "worth it"—as though experimentalism is something the author is required to compensate the reader for.

I've at times needed to reassure people that the second book, Seven Surrenders, "goes somewhere", which is hilarious considering that fully half of SS is unrelenting gas-pedal-to-the-floor nutso. I have had an actual irl conversation with someone who just could not believe, no matter what I said, that book two could have a "more satisfying ending" (oh man, the assumption of "satisfaction" as an inherent literary virtue, satisfying ending functionally a synonym for GOOD ending, let's deconstruct THAT) than the first one. Because if an author were truly capable of delivering such payoff, why not just do it in the first book?

(🙄🙄🙄)

But saying "there's plot resolution in book two I prommy" is kind of missing the point. I straight up do not believe that TLTL's lack of traditional ending is a problem in the first place. On first read, I enjoyed it more than book two. My understanding is that this is not a common opinion! But I loved being dunked into this wild, disturbing, foreign world and just learning about it. Simply being introduced these characters and their ideas was fun on its own. On re-read, it's obvious just how craftily, steadily, calculatedly the author (and/or the in-world narrator) is dripping necessary information to you, which is a different kind of pleasure to experience, but the initial impression is one of directionless, fascinating deluge. TLTL does not feel the need to leave you with any sign of where this is all going, and it is a stronger and more beautiful book for that.

I do understand, both on an artistic and practical level, why people might gravitate toward tight standalones. Terra Ignota is essentially one story told across 1700 pages. That would be a big ask even if everything else about it were mainstream and easily marketable! Is it cynical of me to be shocked and amazed that these books were even allowed to exist, let alone that they have found the readership and acclaim that they have? I honestly don't know.

I want to read more books that are this thoroughly rule-breaking, weird, and challenging—not just in their content, but in more abstract ways like "ending the first book with nothing but dangling confusion" and "including chapters that the in-world narrator never gets around to editing and completing" and "waiting 1400 pages to reveal the full stakes of everything that's been going on". I hope Terra Ignota is a sign that difficult, counter-orthodox genre fiction still has an audience. I love this series but what I would love even more is for it not to be just some solitary fluke miracle.

[bluusome]

intro post hello

-Sam, any pronouns + any titles (if you are curious my pronouns dot page is more detailed and if that also doesn’t work just ask me, i am probably nice i prommy <333)

-the United States law thinks that i am an Adult

-haver of adhd. thank god

-fandom blog. mostly

everything is okay to reblog unless i say otherwise

dni + tag system under the cut ↴

~ ☆ ~

dni

-nasty people (eg. terfs, people who think they can dictate other people’s queer identities, zionists, other bigots, etc.) and ccwilbur soot and ccdream supporters will be blocked on sight.

~ ☆ ~

tag system:

#yapping- posts made by me (as opposed to reblogs). different from #personal because it is not necessarily posts about my life. you may think that some un-tagged posts should be tagged with this. if you think this you are wrong, my posts defy categorization (i am a perfectionist)

#personal - #yapping but. about me. posts that fall under this category will not always have this tag, for the same reasons as listed above.

#rb - reblogs

#my art - art i make

#wips - art works in progress

#asks - asks

#bluusome-liveblogging - live blogging

#bluusome-yells - vent/complaining tag. i seriously doubt it will ever be anything serious, i just have so many worms inside of me that need to breach my epidermis (<- metaphor)

#save - wanna replace #for later with this. dont know if ill remember it exists but. shrug emoji.

#bluusome-vents - what it says on the box

-> minecraft characters in reblogs will be tagged “[media name] [unabbreviated character name]”. dsmp characters before like. october of 2023 were tagged with just the character name but i will try to retag them with the prefix to distinguish the creators’ characters in different media from each other.

[annabethy]

under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow day 10: pen pal

Character A and Character B both sign up for a Christmas Pen Pal project to exchange post cards,, percabeth. not just letters I promise

01/04/2008

Hi! My name’s A, and I’m eight years old. Well, my name isn’t actually A, but I don’t know you yet so I can’t tell you my real name. I don’t know your name, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

I don’t know why I’m doing this whole pen pal thing. I just thought it would be fun, but I don’t really know what to expect either. I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself.

My favorite color is grey, like my eyes. I like to read a lot too. I don’t have many friends, but that’s just because I don’t like talking to people. They start to talk, and it makes me feel like I want to hit them, so I prefer to just be by myself. I wouldn’t mind being your friend, though. I don’t have to hear you talk.

Hope I get your response soon! Goodbye until then!

Love, A.

,,

01/27/2008

Dear A,

I guess you can call me P then. I’m eight years old too, so that’s cool! We’re practically best friends already. I’m doing the pen pal thing because my teacher says I should practice writing. I’m not very good at writing, but I promiss prommis promise I’ll get better for you!

I like to swim. The water is cold where I live, but I still go in anyways. My mom says I’ll get hypothermia, but I do it anyways because it’s fun. I wonder if you like the water too? You’re crazy if you don’t, but it’s okay. I’ll be your friend anyways. I have one friend, but I don’t really like them very much. They’re mean to me a lot. You seem much nicer.

I’m so excited to get to talk to you!

From P :)

,,

05/07/2012

Hey, P! It’s been a couple of months since we spoke. I’ve missed my mystery-stranger-pen-pal-person. Hope you’re doing well.

Honestly, not much has happened with me. It’s the end of sixth grade, thank god. I actually hate all of my teachers. Especially the history one. She makes something that could be so interesting so dull, and it’s upsetting. There’s so much to tell about the past, and she’s ruining it. I’d consider saying something to her, but you know how it is.

I’ll just complain to you instead ;)

I remember you said you were applying to the swim team, and I think that’s so exciting! I know the try-outs passed, so let me know if you got in! (and if you didn’t, don’t worry about it. You don’t need to explain it to me if you don’t want to.)

Anyways, eagerly awaiting your response (but not that eagerly. It’ll be a couple of weeks, if not more.)

Love, A.

,,

05/20/2012

A! I’m insulted that you would think I didn’t make it onto the swim team. I am one with the fish. I am living my dream of swimming around the water like a turtle. It’s been pretty fun actually, except for when I ran into a wall and nearly bust my head open months ago. We don’t like to speak of that moment.

And yes, your history teacher is absolutely bizzare bizarre. I’m not the best with grades and spelling (clearly. I mean, look at my spelling of “bizarre”) but history is one of my better subjects, surprisingly. I think that it’s because the past is so important. My mom always likes to tell me that without the past, we wouldn’t learn for the future, so I try to pay attention to that class. I’m sorry you don’t like it :(

I really missed talking to you too. I don’t even know your name (cue frown), but I feel like I’ve known you my entire life. A person I can talk to when there’s no one else.

You’re my best friend (though I do love the term “mystery-stranger-pen-pal person).

Sincerely, P.

,,

10/7/2016

P! Get ready for my rant because I’m about to go off, and you’re going to listen.

People always say that you lose friends sophomore year. I didn’t think that was true. BOY, was I wrong. I’ve lost, like, twenty friends. I thought I’d be more upset about it, but honestly, I’m relieved. They always made me feel excluded, and without them, I’m not going home near tears every day.

I did meet a guy. His name is Luke, and he’s a junior. We’re not dating, but I wouldn’t mind it if we did. Not that I think it’ll ever happen because I’m too focused on school, but it would be nice to at least be friends. He’s really nice.

Also! The last letter was two months ago (?) and you said your school placed second in the state competition! Does that mean you’re going to nationals?

If you are, I am so proud of you. You seriously have to let me know how that goes.

Until next time.

Love, A.

,,

10/27/2016

A, my love!

As your best friend, I am obligated to say that you must not let the man be an obstacle to your schoolwork. I say this because I want you to do well. (Also because I’m in love with you)

Really though, I’m happy for you. I hope everything works out and you’re happy. That’s all that matters.

As for the sophomore thing, I felt that. I’ve never had all that many friends, but a lot of them changed. Change isn’t a bad thing I guess, but I wasn’t willing to stick around for them destroying themselves, so I didn’t. I’m always here if you need me.

(And I did place at states! Nationals was actually a few weeks ago! I didn’t place there, but I apparently got pretty close, which is awesome)

Love, P.

,,

04/03/2017

A! It’s been a while. I haven’t heard from you since October, and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Is that weird? I don’t know you but I’m checking in?

Oh well. I just really missed you. Not much has happened. Just wanted to say hi. Hope all is well.

Love, P.

,,

12/25/2017

A! Babes! Where are you? I’ve sent a few letters but haven’t gotten any responses. You’re kind of scaring me haha. Is it something I said?

I totally get if you don’t want to do this anymore, but just let me know please? I’m checking the mail every day and I keep getting more and more worried, so… Just let me know, please.

I miss you.

Love, P.

,,

06/01/2018

Dear A,

You never responded to any of my last letter. I get the feeling you’re not going to respond anymore, so I guess this is my last letter.

I graduated. Finally. It was a struggle, but I managed to bring my grades up. I even got accepted to a pretty good school. It’s not Ivy League, like I’m sure you got into. You’ve always been so smart.

I’m going to school in New York. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that in any of the 126 letters we’ve sent. I counted.

Anyways, I just really miss you. I hope you’re okay, and I really wish you the best.

My name’s Percy by the way.

Love, Percy.

,,

12/24/2023

Percy jumps as his girlfriend wraps her arms around his shoulder and nips at his ear. He turns and gives her a playful look.

“You want to take me to the ground?” he asks.

Annabeth rolls her eyes, sliding her hand into his. She feels really warm, even in the cold air outside of Rockefeller Center. “I’m not that heavy.”

“What if I told you you’re wrong?”

“You would get no more kisses for today.”

“Oh, we can’t have that.” Percy’s arms slide to wrap around her waist and tug her closer to his. She doesn’t resist, hugging him back. Percy nudges her jaw with his nose until she turns her face up so he can kiss her. “You’re not heavy at all. Super light, actually.”

She hums, kissing him again. “Good answer.”

Percy laughs, letting him detangle himself from her. His hand goes back to hers, and they begin walking around the plaza, taking in the beautiful decorations. It’s really pretty outside. He’s always had a thing for Christmas and its sparkling lights. He loves the smell of the pine trees and the feel of the light snowflakes against his face.

Annabeth swings her hands between them, and he thinks she looks so cute with her hair down in the cold and nose turned red that he can’t help but kiss her on the cheek.

Percy catches sight of a large sign at a random booth sitting along the edge of one of the buildings. It’s decorated horribly in the most adorable way — no doubt done by children. It’s what it reads that really makes him doubletake.

He just barely manages to make out the words, Christmas Pen Pal Exchange.

It makes his heart ache. He hasn’t heard from A since sophomore year of high school when he was sixteen. He’s twenty-three now. He can’t believe it’s this close to ten years since he heard from her.

He misses her so much. It’s not that he necessarily needed her because he has Annabeth, and he wouldn’t trade that for the world. He’s in love with Annabeth. He thinks he’s going to marry her someday.

A helped him get through difficult times. He wishes he could at least know that she was okay, or why she stopped talking to him. He doesn’t care why it happened anymore. He just wants to know, and to tell her things he was always too scared to say.

Annabeth bumps his shoulder as they pass the booth. “You okay?”

Percy swallows the small lump in his throat that formed. “I’m okay.”

“You sure? You look like you’re about to cry.”

A part of Percy doesn’t want to tell her. He wants to keep it to himself because he has for so long. What he and A had was different.

The other part, and the bigger part, does want to tell Annabeth. He loves her and wants her to know every piece of him. Annabeth is Percy’s best friend now, and there’s no reason for him to keep something like this for her.

“It’s just.” Percy pauses, looking over his shoulder at the booth. “I did one of those when I was young.”

He expects her to tease him, so he’s surprised when she says, “I did too.”

Percy looks at her. “You did?”

“Yeah. I was eight, I think.”

Percy breaks into a smile. “So you were that kid with no friends in elementary.”

“Okay, mister, you wrote them too.”

“That’s how I know you were a loser back then. I was too.”

“A match made in heaven,” she says, wrapping herself in his arms to block the wind that’s begun to blow harder. “Do you still talk to them?”

“Not anymore,” he admits. “We just stopped talking.”

“Aw. Why?”

Percy breathes deeply. “I’m honestly not sure. She just stopped talking to me.”

“What an ass,” Annabeth says.

“Right?” Percy laughs slightly. “I miss her, to be honest. Is that weird? I just used to talk to her all the time, and then — nothing.”

“It’s not weird at all,” she tells him, snuggling her face into the crook of his neck. “I miss mine too.”

“Why’d you stop talking?”

“I moved here. I lost their address, and I got a new one. It just didn’t work after that.” She smiles, thinking of a fond memory. “They used to call me their best friend. The only one I had.”

Percy turns his nose up. “Well now you have me, so forget that guy. No man dares hurt my baby.”

“If I ever meet them, promise to beat their ass.”

“I’ll do my best,” he promises.

“What was their name?” she asks. “Of your pen pal?”

“I never found out,” he says. “She didn’t tell me her name. Only that it started with an A, so I called myself P, and we just kind of went on like that.”

The atmosphere suddenly turns cold as Annabeth stiffens in his arms.

“What is it?” he asks.

“You called yourself P? And the other person was A?”

Percy thinks to confirm before saying, “Yes. Why?”

“Did this person also meet a guy named Luke?”

Percy pulls away slightly. “How did you know that?”

“And you told them about your love for history at one point?” Percy suddenly feels lightheaded. “Annabeth…”

Annabeth’s lower lip trembled, and when she speaks, it comes out cracked. “I’m A.”

It hits him like a train, and Percy suddenly can’t breathe. His mouth opens for air, but his lungs fail him. His mind races, he doesn’t know what to say, and he feels like he’s going to pass out, and… “Oh my god,” is all he manages.

“Percy.”

“You’re A.”

Tears are falling from her eyes, and he doesn’t know how to feel. He doesn’t feel anything at all at first. It’s a weight off his chest, and he’s finally able to take a wrangled breath as it settles inside him. He feels something dripping down his face and realizes it’s tears.

He feels like he should be mad, but he’s not. He can’t be mad at Annabeth because he loves her so much, and he knows what happened, and it’s not her fault, and it’s not his either, and he’s in love with her.

Percy tugs her close. He doesn’t kiss her because right now, this is him seeing A again. His face is in his neck, and he can hear her sobs, and he’s sure his are just as bad. He pulls away, and he lets himself kiss her this time.

“I missed you so much,” he whispers into the kiss. He can taste the tears falling, but he pays it no attention. “I missed you, and I love you so much.”

“I’m sorry,” is what she says.

“Don’t,” he says, pulling away sharply. His voice is wobbly. “This is not your fault.”

Annabeth whimpers. “It feels like it.”

“It doesn’t matter. We found each other, and that’s all that matters, okay?” He wipes the tears from her face gently and kisses her forehead. “We found each other.”

“A twisted way of fate.”

Percy lets out a wet laugh. “It is, but it’s okay.”

“I love you,” she whispers.

There’s so much he wants to say back, but he would never have enough time to say it. “I love you too, mystery-stranger-pen-pal-person,” he whispers. He stays like that, her wrapped in his arms, and he doesn’t know how much time passes like this.

He kisses her, but this time it is as more than her boyfriend.

They are P and A.

Percy and Annabeth.

They are best friends and lovers in one.

He’s going to marry her. His best friend.

Percy and Annabeth.

P and A.

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hello Coon. I hope you’ve been well. I had the most amusing thought, and wanted to share: Do you remember that ATLA episode where they went to watch a play about themselves? In an AU where no one dies or gets thrown off of trains or goes blind... Imagine that in the context of chocobros + Luna, Ravus, Aranea on their way to Zegnautus. - 💚, Amontillado

Dear Amontillado.

This idea alone made me transcend to the ninth heaven. It made my soul detach from my body and ascend to the heavens, it touched the Nirvana, and came back to my body purified and amplified.

This. Goddamn. Genius. Idea.

*SLAMS HANDS ON DESK*

I had to write this. This is one of my most recent asks, but it’s just so genuinely brilliant and gloriously genius, I have this mighty necessity to write it right now aklsjdfklsgj aklsdjsklgj akljalskd ja.

The best part of this is that the main four and Ravus fit SO WELL with some of the ATLA characters, I could write parts of that episode as the script literally goes and it would fit accurately and nicely!!! Hahahahahhaha!!! I hope you’ll find the similarities! ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Anyway, a few things to note here for things to make sense,

I picture Ignis did go blind at some point but later recovered. Let’s say we’re following some sort of Verse 2 from episode Ignis but with Lunafreya not dying, lmao.

I’ve made Cor be present too like he should have always been.

Regis and Clarus too because I don’t have the heart to kill them.

Because it’s Verse 2, Ravus has been in the party from before rescuing Ignis (who…let’s suppose they rescued somewhere else prior to Zegnautus. For some…reason.)

Luna’s coming along with them, too.

If at some point you’re reading something and think “is that an Aggretsuko reference?” know that yes. It is.

I goddamn shoved some almost-established Gladnis in here because fuck me, I can’t contain myself, they’re just so genuinely canon askljddkgjdaa

Alright.

Now everybody welcome to,

Final Fantasy XV, Episode 17, “The Gralea Players”.

A.K.A. a parody of ATLA’s famous already-parody episode “The Ember Island Players” adapted to our FFXV dorks plus some extra guests.

Enjoy!!

Everything starts at one of Ravus’ personal places in Gralea that he used to hide away or train. He’s training with Noct, trying to teach him how to defend himself against his lightning arm. Everyone is bored or watching or scattered across the little house.

At some point, Prompto comes in running, and as everyone’s greeting him, someone appears after him.

“Aranea?”

“Hey, dorks.”

Long story short, Prommy stumbled upon Aranea while he was out grocery shopping.

“And she has epic news! Tell them, Nea!”

Turns out Aranea found out that the local theatre prepared and will present a play about Noctis’ journey.

“Hah? Me? But we’re in the empire, why would they make a play about me?”

“Nooooooooct! We have to go! They did research across the globe to write the script, and it involves MTs, hunters, mechs, dogs, and a very knowledgeable merchant of Cup Noodles. Say yes, please, please!!”

No one is pretty convinced. They’re in enemy territory and it would be suicide to throw themselves there where people could recognize them.

But Noctis can’t say no to Prompto’s huge puppy eyes.

So in the end everyone ends up going to this play, “The King of Light.”

At least the title isn’t bad or mocking, but they still try to not get their hopes up. Knowing the Nifs, they may have done something offensive, so they’re mentally prepared for that and just curious.

Later that night, everyone of our team goes to the local Nif theatre, and the show starts.

They enter and get seats on the back as to go as unnoticed as possible.

On the front row, Noctis sits, then Prompto next to him, then Ignis.

As Gladio tries to sit next to him, Ravus unknowingly takes that seat.

“…hey. Uhm. I…wanted to sit there.”

Ravus: “(absolutely oblivious, this DORK) Just sit next to me. What’s the big deal?”

“…no, it’s not- I just wanted…okay.”

The curtain raises to show a representation of the throne room of the Citadel, where we can see the actors of king Regis on his throne, and the four chocobros.

“And so, may you part with my blessing to meet your bewedded, Lady Lunafreya.”

“Yes, your Majesty.”

So far so good. Actor Regis gives his speech and bids goodbye to the four young men.

As soon as Actor-Regis is done, Prompto grabs Noctis by the shoulder and shakes him, grinning from ear to ear and pointing at the actors, then himself and Noctis, then back at the actors, in clear excitement.

Noctis can’t help but smile as well, thinking it kind of cool to see an act about themselves.

And then going “downstairs”, actor Prompto clumsily trips and falls over in a comical way.

The audience laughs.

“What?” Prompto whispers. “That never happened!”

“Haha! My fault! I can be a little dumb!” actor Prompto talks with a slightly annoying voice. “Nocto! Help me up?”

“You, useless thing” actor Noctis says while helping him up. “You’re completely useless and not worthy of being in presence of royalty, but I take you along in this journey to fulfill my journey anyway because you’re funny.”

“The only thing I want to fill is my mouth! I’m hungry!”

The audience laughs again, but Noct and Prompto are petrified in their seats. Noctis turns to look at Prompto worriedly. Prompto later on just pouts and sink in his seat, crossing the arms.

“They make me look like an idiotic failed attempt of a joker! I’m better than that.”

Ravus is chuckling under his breath.

“I think he’s got you pegged.”

Prompto swears Ravus is lucky Ignis is sat in between them.

The actors are displayed walking away of the Citadel, where actor Regis catches up with them.

“Oh my god, he’s going to say the thing I told you, Noctis” Regis is whispering in the row behind.

So far, they depict the scene pretty accurately.

“Omg he’s going to say it.”

Then, actor Regis puts a hand on actor Noctis’ shoulder.

“Oh my god, here it comes”

And actor Regis says,

“Don’t fail, my son.”

“What?”

The gang has to turn around to shush Regis because they’re supposed to not call the attention.

Regis is shrinking and cringing in his seat containing all his screaming.

The scenes go on but the gang can’t hear anything but Regis’ whispered complaints.

“I didn’t say that! I didn’t say that! Oh my god, there is a HUGE difference between Walk Tall and Don’t Fail, the context and intention are entirely different, I didn’t tell him to not fail, that implies so much pressure and it’s not support, it’s an order, I just asked him to be brave and to keep the head up, it’s entirely different from Don’t Fail. Don’t fail. He said don’t fail,what sort of awful father is he oh my god.”

They depict Actor Prompto to have ruined the Regalia by spilling soda all over the wheel in an exaggerated comical motion.

“Fantastic, Prompto! Couldn’t you just shove it in your mouth instead of throwing it all over our electronic modern car?” actor Gladio asks in a SUPER AGGRESSIVE and super deep voice.

“I’m sorry! But I guess now you can call this, Fast Food!”

There’s a drum roll and the audience laughs. Prompto just shrinks more in his seat hiding it in his hands and groaning.

The actors are trying to push the cardboard car.

“WHAT ARE YOU LAZY ASSES DOING, KEEP PUSHING, KEEP PUSHING UNTIL YOUR FEET BLEED AND YOUR MUSCLES CRY OUT IN PAIN!” actor Gladio is screeching everything he says. “FLEX. FLEX THOSE MUSCLES. TODAY IS LEG DAY. GET UP AND KEEP PUSHING! FLEX! PROTEIN! GYM!”

Gladio stares unimpressed.

“I certainly don’t yell like that all the time.”

Ravus is chuckling louder than before, almost near a proper laugh.

“That actor’s got you right, Gladiolus. Stop complaining.”

Gladio just growls.

“NOCTIS. WHERE IS YOUR SPIRIT? FLEX! PROTEIN! KEEP PUSHING!”

Actor Noctis is on the ground.

“I’ll do it later, Big Guy. I’m sleeping.”

“Hey, not true” Noctis complains. “I didn’t sleep. I rested a bit, but didn’t sleep.”

“HEY IGNIS. TELL HIM TO GET UP.”

“Your most estimated superior Highness, Noctis Lucis Caelum, son of Regis, son of Mors, 114th of the name of the Lucis, prince of the kingdom of Lucis, heir to the throne” actor Ignis is saying in an overly exaggerated Tenebraean accent and exaggeratedly pompous. “I shall request, with all due respect, you get up from the place you’re attempting to sleep in and do lend a hand to us commoners, for we don’t have the strength to go on without you. My prince. My liege. My protected. My dear brother and friend.”

Ignis stares unimpressed and sort of embarrassed.

“…I certainly am not that pompous or formal. Even less with my friends.”

Ravus is chuckling again.

We see the guys through Hammerhead and Galdin Quay, through the news of the Fall of Insomnia and back to the place from where they see the destruction, etcetera; overall, Prompto is depicted as a damsel in distress, a klutz that’s always giving bad jokes and tripping over, Gladio is a giant brainless gym dude that keeps yelling, Ignis is an overly formal android, and Noctis is always asleep (even mid-battles, and usually being carried around by Ignis).

They go to meet Cor.

Actor Cor is poker-faced. The entire time. He responds mechanically and in monosyllables. When he joins the fight, he moves like a robot.

The actors go to search for the first royal weapon.

Actor Prompto keeps telling jokes and Actor Gladio keeps bullying him.

Actor Cor only reacts when obligatory.

“They make it look like I’m more dead than a corpse” Cor says. No one in the gang says anything.

…only Regis chuckles a bit after a second and this earns him a glare of embarrassment from Cor.

Inside the dungeon, actor Prompto fainted out of fear.

“Hey, I’m not that scaredy!”

Ravus is still chuckling.

When they depict Noctis getting the first royal arm, the paper prop stabs him in the chest; actor Noctis exaggeratedly shrieks out and collapses.

“Oh no! Is he dead?”

“No. He just likes to nap at 1 o’clock.”

The audience laughs, and our gang is entirely unimpressed.

“…you know, it does hurt a bit when that happens. They shouldn’t joke with that”

Actor Monica leads Actor Noct to the infiltration to open the gates with Cor.

Oh no. They remember this part! The part with the tiny annoying brat of an imperial officer. That very short guy that didn’t shut up.

Oh no. Here he comes. One annoying and tiny…

“Well, wELL! IF IT’S ISN’T COR THE IMMORTAL!”

And suddenly, on stage, appears Actor Loqi….

…he’s a GIANT BOULDER OF A MAN.

LIKE, SO BIG AND SO STRONG. GIANT BUILT-UP ARMS AND BACK AND MUSCLES. THE MAN IS ALL BEEF AND STRENGTH.

“So you survived the Citadel! But you won’t survive what I, Loqi the Great Tummelt, have in store for you!”

“Wait a minute. Wasn’t that guy like…shorter and skinnier than me?” Prompto asks.

Cor is laughing.

He’s having so much fun staring at the scene, holy fuck, you should see him laugh and cover his eyes and mouth while watching this.

The actor chocobros are suffering at the hands of actor Loqi, whose cardboard mech keeps smashing them and tossing them around.

“Get away!” actor Cor is yelling. “This is too dangerous for you! Only I, Cor Leonis, the Immortal, Lucian Marshal, am capable of defeating him! This is a fight that belongs to us and only us! My eternal enemy! My personal opponent! My arch-nemesis! Loqi the Great Tummelt!”

Cor is still laughing so much.

“Who the fuck is that, oh my god, I don’t remember him, who spread the rumor that he was my arch-nemesis, wasn’t he like an inch tall, ahahaha!”

Skip to the travel to Lestallum.

Actress Iris phones actor Noctis.

“Oh, my celestial prince! My hero. My beloved Noctis. I am delighted and my heart is so full of hope and light now that I hear your dear voice and I know you’re alright and alive more than only in my heart. I wait for you, my dear heroic prince, in Lestallum. I shall wait for you however long it takes; the wait will be worth, so long it’s about you, my darling.”

“Wow, that actress is making it look like Iris likes me like, like-likes me, haha.”

The whole gang either stares at Noct in disbelief or just sigh because holy fuck, Iris could smack him in the face with a brick that says “I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU” and Noctis still wouldn’t notice, this oblivious absolute DORK.

“I know the potential future princess of Lucis and only sister and dear family of Gladio just called to tell us she survived after many days with no notice of her or anyone…but what about instead of going to meet her we go to see the chocobo ranch?”

Lunafreya chuckles.

“Oh my. They really are depicting you guys as idiotic, stupid, childish immature dorks, you would never do such a thing like changing Iris and all your dear ones to go see chocobos first.”

The main four stay quiet and all try to not share any glance and they all go “uh…yeah, haha, that is…definitely right, we-didn’t do that, this- this play is so silly…”

…but Ravus chuckles again.

Ravus knows.

These dorks really did that, lmao.

There’s more about hunts and going into the dungeon in the waterfall cave and etc. Prompto keeps fainting and shrieking and making awful jokes, Gladio keeps yelling and flexing and stopping at random spots to do push-ups, Ignis keeps doing everything almost as if coreographed and on perfect timing, and Noctis keeps sleeping at random times.

There’s no actor Ardyn; no one but the bros have idea that he’s been the one helping. In the play he’s just the “Mysterious redhair hat guy”.

Redhair guy guides them to Cauthess Disc.

Actor Prompto made the tomb collapse, actor Gladio kept destroying boulders with bare hands and carrying an asleep Noctis through it, and actor Ignis just for some reason kept saying “Indubitably” at everything he heard.

For the Titan fight, they used puppets to depict the bros and the MTs and a person disguised in a Titan Kigurumi. This person ended up stumbling and falling midways through it.

They lost the Regalia and everything was fine and accurate to the story until the actor chocobros stOLE A CAR BECAUSE “THEY CAN’T GO ON THEIR FEET SORRY”.

Regis asked Noctis at least twenty times in the next 10 minutes “you really didn’t do that, right? Did you guys really steal a car? Hey Noct, I believe in you but you can tell me in all trust, okay, no worries if you did steal that car. Did you steal a car? Omg Noctis.”

They went to get Ramuh’s blessing.

In the cave, actor Prompto was kidnapped by a giant Naga, and actor Noctis had to rescue him.

Actor Gladio kept throwing giant prop boulders at the Naga and screaming “PROTEIN” while actor Ignis kept balleting around it for some reason.

“…do you ballet, Ignis?”

Ignis’ silence had been enough of an answer, but after a moment of blushing and embarrassment and staring elsewhere he just went with “…I think it’s recreative and helped greatly with developing my flexibility and my muscle weight and strength.”

“So that’s a yes.”

“Yes. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. I just can’t imagine you in a leotard.”

“And you won’t imagine it, pretty boy, so stop trying.”

That’s Gladio getting a bit jealous over there. He doesn’t want Jerkvus to imagine his Iggy in his precious purple leotard, THAT’S A SIGHT HE’S NOT WORTHY OF >:’(

Actor Noctis saved actor Prompto and carried him in arms bridal style.

“Oh! My hero! I knew you would save me

“Don’t worry, Prompto. Not only did I take you along despite knowing you’re useless because you’re funny, I also took you along because I think you’re cute.”

“O-oh…Noctis-sama…(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)”

“…oh my god they’re making it lo-  no homo, bro, you know that? I mean not that I’d mind but like- no? You know?”

“…yeh.”

They try to infiltrate an imperial base to recover the Regalia, BUT, of COURSE the ALMIGHTY EMPIRE has NO FLAWS and no one can infiltrate there!

THE CHOCOBROS ENDED UP SMASHED AND SHOOED AWAY, LONG LIVE THE EMPIIIIIREEEE!!

The play depicted that the chocobros HAD to use brute force and force a traitor imperial to be able to make it inside.

“Pscht. We did it on our OWN, come on >:(“

Ravus is chuckling.

“Hey, Ravus? Why are you smiling?”

“This is my favorite part.”

No one really knew what he was talking about; what was fun about the guys fighting overpowered imperials and recovering the car?

The actor chocobros recover the car. While talking in there, actor Prompto turns around.

Actor Prompto SHRIEKS OUT IN HYSTERICAL FEAR and then faints.

Actor Ignis has to take him away to protect him. Actor Noctis wakes up.

And so, Actor Ravus comes on in on stage!!!

“…oH MY GOD NO” it’s Gladio finally understanding why Ravus was chuckling and waiting for this. Ravus just laughs darkly again in his seat, satisfied with the Shield’s distress.

He doesn’t even mind that the actor is wearing the SUPER FAKE prosthetic on the wrong arm.

“It has been a very long while, Chosen One. Noctis.”

“Indeed it has, Ravus, Not Chosen.”

Gladio SNORTS and fights a lot with containing a hysterical laugh.

Damn he knows that’s Ravus MOST SORE and fragile spot, so he knows they hit him where it hurts most.

Ravus just frowns and his eyebrow twitches.

Actor Ravus gives a SUPER OMINOUS speech about Noctis not understanding his duty and being unworthy of it. Like SO OMINOUS, it’s worse than Gentiana levels of unintelligibly pompous.

Actor Noctis does complain about him serving the army that’s against Lunafreya.

“I do not serve! I command!”

Actor Ravus SLAPPED THE FUCK OUT OF ACTOR NOCTIS.

Like, no throat grabbing and jerking, HE FUCKING. SLAPPED HIM. LIKE DEAD ON THE FACE.

“Hey, that didn’t happen! That looks more humiliating than what really did happen!”

Ravus is chuckling again.

Actor Gladio gets in the way.

“HEY! NO SLAPPING! YOU SLAP THE TINY DORK, YOU SLAP ME FIRST. IT’S THE AMICITIA WAY! IT’S THE AMICITIA DUTY!” he’s yelling as he’s unnecessarily flexing. “YOU FIGHT HIM ONLY AFTER YOU FIGHT ME!” and then he unnecessarily rips his shirt apart and tosses the pieces to the sides and gets ready to fight.

Clarus chuckles in the row behind them.

“That’s my son.”

“! :D YEH!”

Actor Ravus gets close to him.

“The Shield of the prince. A useless, fragile shield that protects the unworthy and the weaker.”

And, said that, actor Ravus…flicks his forehead.

Actor Ravus. He flicked actor Gladio’s forehead. Flicked it.

And at the touch actor Gladio SHRIEKS OUT AND IS SENT FLYING BACKWARDS AND INTO THE CAR AND PAST IT AND INTO LOTS OF PROPS AND PAST THEM AND INTO THE WALL WHICH HE DESTROYS AND THE WALL COLLAPSES ON HIM, IT’S NUTS.

“…what the FUCK HE BARELY TOUCHED HIM! That’s not- that’s not what happened! Iggy! Iggy, you saw that, right? You know what really happened and it’s nothing similar to this, right!?”

Ignis hesitates.

“…uhm-”

“D: IGNIS!?”

“No! I’m sorry! No, I didn’t mean- what I mean is, it definitely wasn’t like that. You’re right.”

“…yeah…I know…:(“

Ravus snorts and properly laughs under his breath this time.

He has manners enough to contain himself and not burst laughing, but he laughs so much and contains it so much he even has to wipe away some tears of laughter.

“Ah. My favorite part. What a delight. How I wish we could replay that.”

Gladio’s really moody and upset right now, please don’t touch him.

The chocobros have to infiltrate another base, and of course they require of more dirty tricks and brute force to make their way inside.

They follow actor Caligo.

Speaking of which, it’s a young handsome man in his 30’s with Senpai face and a long, silky mane of black hair, giant blue eyes, and a gorgeous voice.

Aranea is cringing in her seat.

Caligo almost defeated them too, by the way. He was IN NO WAY captured or knocked out, he’s an imperial officer, of COURSE he won! The chocobros only won because they summoned a god and everyone knows that’s cheating and doesn’t count.

Actress Aranea comes in!

“FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE, YOU SHALL FALL!”

“What!? Who said that!?”

Actress Aranea comes into the scene….

F L Y I N G

Actress Aranea is tied to one of those ropes to fly and SHE GOES INTO THE SCENE FLYING, THEN SHE FLIES ABOVE THE PUBLIC, THEN BACK, AND SHE KEEPS ATTACKING WHILE RANDOMLY FLYING INTO THE AIR.

Aranea bursts out laughing.

“Ahahahahahah!! I mean, I do jump very high, but that girl is FLYING! Ahahahahah!!”

Aranea is having a LOT of fun.

Mostly because actress Aranea is SLAYING THE FUCK OUT OF THE CHOCOBROS.

Actress Aranea is super skinny and wearing a pair of fake boobs, but Aranea thinks it’s cool.

And by fake boobs I mean. They’re giant. Giganormous. Anime tiddies.

“Why are my boobs so big?”

“I mean, they wrote the script based on what they heard or what people would tell them, so I guess that’s how people described you.”

“Wow, from all the things people had to look at, they remember me for giant boobs?”

“Aw :( I’m so sorry, Aranea. Women shouldn’t be sexualized like thi-”

“Because damn they’re right, I have to admit my boobs are quite nice! You ever touched them, pretty boy?”

“WhA- NO! WHY WOUL- ARANEA MY DAD IS HERE, NO.”

“Hey, mister dad? Your son touched them.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Yeah, and he’s also seen them in flesh and-”

“ARANEA NO WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU WHY ARE YOU RUINING MY LIFE LIKE THIS.”

Aranea didn’t talk much because she’s entertained watching the play and actress Aranea fly around like a real dragon slaying the boys.

She’s also flirting with both actors Prompto and Ignis all along the fight.

Actor chocobros end up defeated and knocked out on the ground on a pile.

Actress Aranea stands on top of them, with her heel on actor Noctis’ face.

“I would END YOU RIGHT NOW. But you know what, I won’t.”

“Why?”

“Just because. See you later, guys!”

“…is that really how it happened? You could have ended them and didn’t and then you just. Joined them? Just like that?”

“Of course not! I had an interesting arc and character development, if you must know!”

“…so did you really just leave and then joined them for no reason?”

“…yeah.”

The actor chocobros are taking Iris to Caem.

Actress Iris is a VERY tall and SUPER INCREDIBLY HUNK young lady that keeps flexing and screaming PROTEIN along Gladio, and fist-pumping with him while yelling “AMICITIA! AMICITIA! AMICITIA!” like brute gorillas.

Clarus finds it a cute sight and is proud.

“Wow, look at the actress playing Iris!”

“I’m sure that’s a man.”

“Wow, look at the actor playing Iris! He makes her look all beefy and super strong and super scary!”

There’s a long silence.

“Most accurate thing so far.”

Everyone agrees.

Actor Gladio informs he will momentarily leave the party.

“I HAVE BEEN DISGRACED BY THAT DEFEAT IN THE HANDS OF THE ALMIGHTY RAVUS. I AM UNWORTHY OF BELONGING IN THIS RETINUE AND I MUST GO AWAY TO PUNISH MYSELF WHILE AT THE SAME TIME FINDING SOME GROWTH AND SOMETHING TO PUNCH. I HAVE TO GO AWAY TO SPEND A WHILE AT THE GYM BEFORE COMING BACK. DO YOU FEEL ME, BRO? CAN I LEAVE YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LITERAL DUTY TO GO DO PERSONAL STUFF NOW?”

“….ZzZz…Oh? Ah. Yeh. Whatever. Just let me sleep.”

Actor chocobros except actor Gladio get to the ruins in the Vesperpool and they meet actress Aranea again.

“Hey guys! I know I kicked your asses last time but I think I changed my mind, mind if I join you?”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?! AFTER ALL YOU’VE PUT ME THROUGH, YOU EXPECT US TO LET YOU IN JUST LIKE THAT?! JUUUUUUUST LIKEEEEEEEEE THAAAAAAAT!?!?!?”

“Yes.”

“.___.     Fine.”

“FINE!?”

“Hey, she’s very persuasive.”

(High five to myself for that disney reference *highfive*)

Episode Gladio…. Hasjdjaklf

Actor Gladio spends his time away in the gym and flexing and eating carbs before he goes into a cave to face the Evil Darklord.

(Nobody knows about Gilgamesh, okay, the writers had to make something up).

Cor accompanied him.

“HEY COR. THANK YOU FOR JOINING IN THIS WITH ME.”

“You’re welcome. I’m happy to help in your self-discovery journey, what about we talk about myself?”

“That wasn’t like that.”

Gladio stays quiet and frowning and analyzing it for a bit before he turns.

“…but it was like that, we talked about just you.”

“But that’s because you asked!”

“That’s because you offered it!”

“Wha- no! Why would I talk about myself just like that? You started!”

Basically episode Gladio goes about Cor and Gladio being work-out buddies.

Actor Cor rarely shows any reaction even when he’s being hit in the face.

“Wow…they make it look like I never smile or something…”

Gladio stayed quiet again analyzing everything.

“…but you really didn’t smile.”

Cor didn’t answer.

The actor chocobros go to Altissia, and we get a skip to Lunafreya who receives the news.

“My beloved prince Noctis is coming?” everything is fine. And then- “OH!” then dramatically sobs. “That is…wonderful news! His presence means light. His presence means a savior. His presence…” she sobs and sniffs again, and then she throws herself to her knees, hands to the sky. “His presence…means HOPE! SO MUCH HOPE! Hope for the world!” she sobs louder and throws herself onto the chair. “HOPE FOR EVERYONE!” she lets herself to the floor. “Forgive me if I’m getting too emotional but…this touches my heart and fills it WITH SO MUCH HOPE!”

And so actress Lunafreya burst out into hysterical hyper dramatic tears.

Actor Ravus talks with Actress Lunafreya.

“Lunafr-”

Actress Lunafreya bursts into hysterical tears.

“I can’t go on, brother! The hope! It’s dying and I can’t revive it! I’ve tried for so long to keep it alive, but it’s too much for me anymore! I’m not strong enough! Oh, the hope! You have to carry on with my duty for me, brother; let Noctis know that I love him and that I…I have HOPE IN HIM”

Actress Luna continued crying.

Luna chuckles a bit, but also hides a little behind a hand out of embarrassment.

“Sure I’m not that dramatic…”

Nobody answered.

Skip to the summit with Camelia.

Actress Camelia is far overweight and wearing far too much make-up, almost like a clown.

“You are aware, mister prince Noctis, that Accordo has been under the orders of the empire and loyally serving it for over a hundred years.”

“Yes.”

“As servants to the empire, we’re supposed to do as they tell us; Niflheim does but look for the good of the people. Waking Leviathan will cost the lives of half Accordo and bring destruction to the world.”

“Yes.”

“Let’s DO IT.”

Noctis is groaning in his seat while actress Camelia goes about some fake speech of how she’s betraying “the good guys” for money and etc.

“If only it had really been that easy…”

Skip to Noctis chasing after Leviathan. The imperials are depicted as the good guys that try to stop the destruction by killing Leviathan, and Noctis somehow ends up riding her and laughing like a maniac while guiding Leviathan into destroying half Accordo.

It’s beautiful and bizzarre.

Skip to episode Ignis.

Ignis is ballet-ing his way through Altissia.

He actually looks pretty badass with those pirouettes slaying MTs as he goes, look at that fine young gentleman.

Soon enough he’s joined by Ravus.

“I will destroy you, Ignis Scientia!”

Actor Caligo appears.

“I think your hair is weird!” he says to Ravus.

Actor Ravus looks at Ignis again.

“Never mind that, now I’ll join you, Ignis Scientia!”

Both kill Caligo.

Noctis: “What the fuck was that.”

Ravus: “That didn’t happen.”

Actor Ignis and Ravus slay some MTs before they stop and the atmosphere suddenly gets warm and in dim reddish lights like in a damn burdel.

Suddenly, both get a bit too close to each other.

“Oh, Ravus. I had never seen you from this close before” actor Ignis touches his lips and looks up at him. “I think you’re very attractive.”

Gladio, from his seat, flinches and goes “What?”

Actor Ravus gets some steps away.

“What? We can’t do this. We’re on enemy teams. My heart proudly belongs to the empire” (Ravus ‘pscht’s from his seat) “and rumors have it you’re already dating the Shield of the prince!”

“Gladiolus?” actor Ignis asks, and then he chuckles with some sarcasm. “Oh, Ravus. Don’t be ridiculous. I love him like a brother and just that!”

Gladio was frowning; now his expression just softens in some sort of insecurity, and he’s very attentive on the play.

“So then…you’re single?” actor Ravus asks him, and then he goes back to break the distance between them, and he hugs him with an arm, pulling him close to himself. “Ignis. The man with the beautiful eyes. I will now betray the empire and will swear loyalty to the king of Lucis and help him in his journey…for you.”

“Oh, Ravus…”

“Ignis…”

Both actors proceed to embrace each other and then they kiss.

And they go on.

And on and on.

Actor Ravus may have grabbed actor Ignis by the butt.

The play may have implied that these two slept together during the events of Altissia.

Ravus and Ignis are staring eye-widened and in shock, then they subtly look at each other, then finding the other staring, both look away in absolute embarrassment and burning red in the faces.

Gladio’s really, really upset.

The worst part is that he feels insecure, not jealous, which I think is worse.

Actor Ravus betrayed actor Ignis again and that’s how Ignis ended up kidnapped in imperial hands; then actor Ravus betrays the empire again and joins the actor chocobros to go rescue Ignis.

“I betrayed just ONCE and it was for good. They make it look like I don’t have a position in this and just betray every time things go bad for my team.”

The actor chocobros get the help of actress Aranea to go into Nif territory.

Actor chocobros end up in Gralea to rescue Ignis, who they find dead.

Apparently, Ignis died as result of wearing the ring, when trying to open the gates of the city for the chocobros.

“No! Ignis!”

Actor chocobros + actor Ravus cry for him, until actor Noct uses his magic ring.

“In the name of the moon! Healing magical power of the kings! Hi-yah!”

“…that’s not how you use the ring.”

Prompto laughs.

“They make you sound like a magical girl, dude.”

While using the ring, actor Noctis asked actor Gladio to hold Ignis for a moment.

When actor Ignis comes back alive, actor Gladio yells out

“IGNIS! YOU LIVE! OH, MY DEAR BROTHER! I WAS WORRIED FOR YOU…LIKE A GOOD BROTHER WOULD BE.”

Gladio just “Pscht”s.

Actor Gladio is pushed aside by actor Ravus, who holds Ignis in an over-dramatic over-romantic way.

“Oh, Ignis…light of my new life, star of my new skies, love of my new life…you live…”

“Ravus. I fought to stay alive…for you.”

“Oh, Ignis!”

“Ravus!”

“Ignis!”

These two incoherently start making-out again in front of everyone as the actor chocobros cheer for them or throw petals on them.

This finishes with Gladio’s patience.

Gladio gets up from his seat and leaves; Prommy asks him if he can bring some gummies when he comes back.

Skip to Lunafreya staying behind somewhere “safe” instead of coming along in the journey like a damsel in distress, she cries because she’s back home in Tenebrae and that gives her so much hope.

She’s questioned about Noctis and if she doesn’t want to stop the rituals despite this wearing her out.

We get a flashback of actress Luna in Tenebrae.

Actor Ravus approaches her.

“Lun-”

“OH RAVUS!” actress Luna is hysterically crying again.

Actress Luna went on in a rant about hope and light, crying all the time. Actor Ravus stayed still and frozen like a statue, frowning.

“Just get over that boy, Lunafreya. You’re way prettier than he deserves.”

“…he didn’t say that, Noc-”

“Yes, I did. In other words, but yes I did.”

Savage, Ravus.

“He’s never going to be worthy!”

“After you were proven unworthy, you say that about everyone!”

“SHUT UP, LUNAFREYA!”

“Why are you yelling at me!?”

Ravus sighs in his seat.

“They make it look like I’m totally stiff and humorless, except from the times I’m with Ignis.”

Ignis chuckles. “Actually, I think that actor’s pretty spot on.”

Ravus: “How can you say that!?”

Actress Lunafreya: “I think Noctis is cute.”

Actor Ravus: “HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?”

Ignis just laughs.

There’s an intermission where the guys mop and complain about the things that aren’t accurate. Aranea is the only one happy with her character. Noctis tries comforting Prompto about him not being useless, Regis talks with Noctis about sleeping during important fights, etc.

“Have you guys seen Gladio?” Ignis asks after a while.

“He went for snacks ten minutes ago and I’m still waiting, bro!”

Ignis decides to go look for him.

Ravus is moping and Aranea goes see what’s wrong.

“What’s with the long face, tough boy? Not enjoying your character?”

“It’s easy for you to not be upset about this. You get a flying badass super strong heroine, but to me this is just a reminder of all the things I did wrong. From wearing the ring to having joined the empire, and things like failing to protect Ignis in Altissia…which they didn’t only rub in my face again, but also manipulated to make it seem like it was because of me that he got captured. It’s telling me how many mistakes I’ve done in my life and how it’s going nowhere. That I should have believed in Noctis since the beginning.”

“Hm. You sound pathetic, Ravus. You know, I don’t think there’s a time to be correct. It took me years before I left the empire, too, and I don’t mop for what I did in the past. I just try to get my present right for once. You should be doing the same. Besides, your sister is watching. I thought you wanted to make her proud; sitting here and mopping won’t get it. You get up and fight for the good causes now. Okay?”

Ravus smiles at her and thanks her, even when he doesn’t really like being lectured.

A random little kid that was chasing after his friend back into the theatre stops and looks at him. Like really looks; stays a while in there just staring.

“Oooh…your Ravus costume is SUPER COOL! But the fake arm goes on the other side!”

Ravus just blinks in disbelief at the child.

While the kid runs away, Aranea stops Ravus before Ravus gets to grab him by the skull, eyebrow twitching and face entirely unimpressed and soul screaming.

While the guys talk, Ignis finds Gladio at a balcony, grumpy and down in the dumps.

“Hey, Gladio? Is anything the matter?”

“This play is stupid. Everything about it is stupid and I don’t like it. Let’s just go back and get out of here.”

“Calm down, Gladio. I know it’s silly and far unrealistic, but it’s not so that you take it this personally.”

“Gods, I’m just- so angry right now…”

Ignis is quiet and doesn’t know very well what to say. More than angry, Gladio looks plain sad. Ignis tries standing next to him to at least let him know he’s there.

“Did you really mean that, Ignis?”

“What? If you could be a bit more specific…”

“Back in the play. You said- that you love me as just a brother. And I…”

“…Gladio? What do you mean?”

“Never mind. Forget it.”

Ignis stays quiet again and they say nothing for a long while. After the long pause, Gladio clearly tries saying something but seems to not know how, but after some attempts he puts the head slightly down and just lets it out.

“…did you really- kiss Ravus? Back in Altissia, I mean…”

“What?” Ignis is taken completely off-guard. But he laughs a bit. “Of course not. The writers just…took me to make me the romantic arc of the story, with the first person they saw, and built an over-dramatic romance.”

“Right, but why didn’t they take anyone else, then? Why Ravus?”

“I know you’re not exactly friends with him, but it’s not so you overreact, Gladio-”

“I just mean it was me who held you in arms after Noctis healed you! Not him! And it was me who carried you outside and looked after you until today…not him…”

“…Gladio-”

“And it was…I just…thought there was maybe something going on between us. But it’s not, is it? You see me as the actor says, as just a brother. Right?”

“…Gladio, it’s just a play. I think…we could talk about us sometime else, okay? When you’re feeling better…if- you wish.”

Gladio is still down in the dumps, and can’t help it, but he knows Ignis is right about discussing this later, so he just nods.

Gladio does think about leaning in to steal a kiss from him, but he really doesn’t want to ruin it, or make a move that may upset or offend Ignis, so he resists.

Secretly, Ignis thought about holding his hand, maybe even dare to reach and kiss him, knowing it’s going to make Gladdy feel better, because yes, Ignis understands his feelings and they’re reciprocate, but he also really wants the moment of confession to be special, so he doesn’t dare make a move.

These two idiots hngh…just- kiss already AAAAHHHHH

Both head back to the play.

This time, Ignis makes sure to let Gladio sit in the seat next to Ravus, so Ignis is sat only next to Gladio.

Ignis also makes sure to throw hints at him by leaning against him and softly resting a hand on his arm across the rest of the play.

It does help Gladdy to feel better. :’3

The story follows the guys making their way through Gralea.

Ignis back then was healed but not fully and hence still blind, and the play didn’t miss that out.

Actor Ignis is going around SLAYING MTs and being a badass.

“Wow, Ignis, we thought you were blind?”

Actor Prommy is waving a hand in front of his eyes.

Actor Ignis is all smirk and then he goes.“I can see you doing that. I can still see, I see everything you see, except I don’t see like you do. I release a sonic wave from my mouth. Like this.”

Actor Ignis turned to look at the others and SCREAMED VERY  LOUDLY.

Like, SO LOUDLY. It’s a shriek. It’s a screech.

Actor Ignis is screaming so loudly, the chocobros, in the LAST row, all flinched and covered their eyes.

Everyone is staring at actor Ignis in absolute terror.

Actor Ignis is still yelling.

After like a whole minute he shuts up.

“There. I got a pretty nice look at you.”

Skip to Nox Fleuret sblings meeting again.

“Lu-”

“I KNOW WHAT MY DUTY IS!!! I KNOW WHAT IT’S DOING TO ME!!! STOP BEING SO CRUEL TO ME, BROTHER!!! YOU’RE SPOILING THE HOPE! THE HOPE!!”

Actress Lunafreya went into a long rant and speech about the hope and lost love for the next ten minutes and then bursts into hysterical tears..

Actor Ravus has been still the whole time staring poker-faced.

Actor Ravus, after the heartfelt, emotional speech, turns over his heels and leaves entirely unimpressed.

“Wow, they make it look like Ravus doesn’t care about you, Luna.”

“….yeah. It…definitely didn’t happen like that….”

Ravus is too scared to look at Lunafreya right now.

….he may….or may not….really have walked away unimpressed leaving her speaking alone….

The play doesn’t offer much other than what Cor is supposed to be doing and the guys making their way through Gralea.

“Well, we’ve reached the present. Guess that’s it.”

“Wait! There’s more!”

The gang is actually pretty curious about seeing what the play theorizes will happen in a future.

The scenography shows some creepy place.

“It’s in Zegnautus! There’s the imperial keep where the throne chamber is” Aranea informs the chocobros in a whisper.

Suddenly…ACTOR ARDYN COMES IN.

The chocobros all DAMN FREAK OUT AT HIS MENTION LIKE ZOMG THE MAN THAT’S MADE THEIR LIVES IMPOSSIBLE, they’re triggered even if they know it’s just an actor.

Actor Iedolas sits at the throne.

“My emperor!” actor Ardyn says as he bows before the emperor. “The Lucian prince and his friends have finally arrived here, in Zegnautus keep.”

“You’ve done well, Chancellor Izunia. They’re falling right in our hands, and on free will.”

“You were wise at advising we opened the doors for them. Our security is impeccable and they wouldn’t have been able to infiltrate or attack on their own.”

“You are not questioning me like that traitor of Nox Fleuret always did with my commands.”

“That’s because I have no doubts that you know what you’re doing and that you’ll be able to receive our guests as is deserved.”

Actor Prompto died at the hands of a random MT.

Prompto is pale and pretending he’s fine but you can see his soul abandoning his body in anxiety.

Actor Gladio died at the hands of Ravus because Gladio got angry at Noctis and tried to murder him and Ravus tried to save the day.

Actor Ignis died protecting Noctis from a valiant attack by the Chancellor.

Ravus couldn’t handle the loss and killed himself hugged to Ignis.

Noctis took the sword from Ravus and chased after the Chancellor alone.

Noctis arrives to the throne room.

“Emperor Iedolas! My sworn enemy!” Noctis says valiantly while swinging his sword in cool movements and pointing at the emperor. “I demand you give me back the Crystal that is by right mine! Give me back my source of power, you, greedy old man!”

“Greed? You think that what I want is the power that radiates from the Crystal?” the emperor asks him. “You, fool! I’m trying to save the world and the righteous people that live in it! You Lucians have kept the Crystal selfishly for yourselves all this time, not sharing it with anyone. We did steal it, I admit, but it’s for a greater cause! It’s for a bright and peaceful future!”

“Lies! I won’t listen to you! I don’t care about the future of the world, I only care about the future of my kingdom! Give it back!”

“You shall take it from my dead hands only.”

“So, I shall do!”

Suddenly, actor Noctis and actor Iedolas get into a frantic and pretty cool battle.

Someone in backstage is using mirrors and led lights to recreate Noctis’ armiger.

Actor Noctis is also tied by the waist to make some of his warps and big jumps.

“Fire spell! Hi, yah!”

The props are pretty decent, making a smoke bomb explode, or throwing random “snowflakes” when he uses blizzaga, etc.

Actor Noctis jumps around, armiger activated, the royal arms flying around, and Iedolas somehow manages to dodge and move away, and sometimes he counterattacks, it’s a frantic and pretty epic battle.

They reach a point where Actor Noctis stops on a side of the stage and Iedolas in the other. A prop of the Crystal “floats” in the back and in the middle.

Actor Noctis goes

“Oh, powerful Crystal that chose the Lucis two thousand years ago! Crystal that chooses the righteous and the fair, the good and the powerful, I claim your aid and ask you to finish this unworthy traitor of the gods!”

Noctis moves up in his seat, interested, and smiling all full of innocence and hope.

The “Crystal” suddenly starts gleaming.

Prompto shakes Noctis by the shoulders, as excited, and both boys watch happily.

The “Crystal” suddenly envelopes actor Noctis in its light.

The chocobros are all smiles and happiness while watching the moment, and then-

“Wh-what is happening…!? No….nooooo!!!”

Actor Noctis suddenly IS CONSUMED BY BLUE FIRE.

The light that previously surrounded him turns to blue papers that tornado around him, consuming him.

“AAAAAGHHHH!!! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! What is happening!? Why is the Crystal not giving me its power!? Why is it BURNING ME!?”

Suddenly, the previous lights go to cover and circle around actor Iedolas, who spreads the arms and looks up as if in divine realization.

While actor Noctis burns, actor Iedolas goes to give a speech.

“The Crystal…it has given me its approval!! I have been chosen as worthy!”

Actor Iedolas turns to look at actor Noctis and throws the arms of armiger at him, while actor Noctis still “burns”.

“The Lucis may have been worthy two thousand years ago…but not anymore! Their time has ended, their kingdom has fallen! They let their ego grow too much believing themselves superior only for being the safekeepers of the Crystal…but not anymore! The times change, and so does the choice of the gods, and this time, we have been chosen! We, Niflheim, are the new and righteous chosen of the Crystal, new warriors and safekeepers of it, we have been given the power that belongs to us, the superior race! And as the first emperor of the Crystal era, I have been chosen to eradicate the past, and finish the traitors of the gods, the Lucis Caelum! Your line ends here!”

“Nnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!”

There’s a whole show of lights and FIRE that comes out of nowhere and the endless armiger and dramatic music.

Actor Noctis ends up consumed and dead. The actor subtly-but-failed crawled out of the stage while actor Iedolas took the spotlight again and cheered for Niflheim.

Suddenly, the WHOLE audience goes HYSTERICAL and they break into loud clapping and cheering.

It’s a MESS of noise and “Yes!” and whistling, it’s chaos of joy in the theatre.

Except in the section where the good guys sit.

They’re all frozen and stare eye-widened at the stage.

Then, everyone simultaneously and in dead silence turns to look at Noctis.

Noctis is sat there, arms-crossed as he last was, eye wide, and face pale, and he’s whole frozen.

They spent like that like a whole minute before Noctis realizes he’s been observed.

“…I….hadn’t thought of that possibility….”

Long story short, our gang ends up exiting and leaving for their current hideout, all trying to make of this a not big deal.

“Eh, it’s not even a good script.”

“Yeah, it’s full of holes.”

“I didn’t even like it that much anyway.”

“You’re right. Absolutely pointless.”

And they never watched that play again.

*music*

*ending screen*

*credits roll*

[moonraccoon-exe]

as a child, Prompto once asked if he could bake a cake for Noctis tomorrow (on his best friend's birthday) but since Cor never made a cake in his life (he took cooking classes for meals! classes for bread! classes for pastries! fOR THE LOVE OF LUCIS HOW DID HE FORGET ABOUT CAKES) so he stayed up all night, sitting in front of the laptop Prompto convinced him to get & showed him the bare basics, watching cake making videos on Moogletube he thought Prom woke up at night until he saw the sun up

[From papa Cor cooks for Prommy]

*SCREECHING*

Y   E   S 

YES TO THIS ENTIRE SCENARIO ♡

Prompto took the “mom I need a (X) for tomorrow” to a whole new level, ahahahahah! ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

There’s kids that need a pen for tomorrow. There’s kids that need an USB for tomorrow’s class and it’s 11 pm. There’s kids that need a new notebook.

Then there’s Prompto who NEEDS A HOMEMADE CAKE. ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Well he doesn’t NEED it, but...well, we know our dear Cor. Not really knowing the meaning of the word ‘Limits’. There’s NONE to him, he either goes GIANT or NOWHERE AT ALL. Son wants to make a homemade cake for his best friend? YOU CAN SURE BET YOUR GODDAMN ASS THAT THEY’RE GOING TO MAKE THAT CAKE, JESUS.

“ (he took cooking classes for meals! classes for bread! classes for pastries! fOR THE LOVE OF LUCIS HOW DID HE FORGET ABOUT CAKES)“

AHAHAHSHSAJDHSADJHFAJHSDHAHAHASHDASHDAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I LOST MY SHIT AT THAT PART OHMYGOD AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

I imagine him FREAKING OUT in cosmical measures, made a paranoid and anxious mess, walking in circles and pulling what little hair he has out like

“I took classes for meals! I took classes for BREAD! I took classes for PASTRIES!”  *grabbing Clarus by the shirt*  “CLARUS I TOOK FUCKING CLASSES FOR CUPCAKES, HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT CAKES”  *shakili sobbing* “CLARUS HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT CAKES, CAKES ARE ESSENTIAL, CLARUS THERE IS A CAKE FOR LITERALLY A DAY EVERY YEAR IN AT LEAST ONE CHILD’S STUPID BIRTHDAY, HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT STUPID FUCKING GODDAMN CAKES!?!?!?” 

I am not sure if Cor is taking the Drama Queen crown to a new cosmical level or if he’s just having a stress breakdown｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

THIS SCENARIO IS SUPER SWEET, THOUGH.

1. Prommy teaching Cor the basics to Moogletub, did I understand that? BECAUSE THAT’S SO SWEET, awkward “technology confuses me and I’m just thirty-two” Cor is STUPIDLY, INCREDIBLY, MEGA ADORABLE.   Tiny seven year old Prommy teaching Cor to use Moogletub in the laptop, and then Cor like “Okay, son, you- give me a moment and I’ll handle it in a sec. Alright?” and Prommy thanks him and leave, and Cor puts on videos to guide himself in the kitchen for the cake.

2. Cor actually watching a ka-lot of Moogletube videos to learn to make a cake specifically and solely because his son asked him for a cake :’)   HAS A BETTER AND MORE PURE DAD THAN COR EVER EXISTED ANSWER IS NO COR IS AN ANGEL OF A DAD OKAY, HE BEST DAD HE NEEDS AN AWARD

It’s super sweet, seriously! Cor taking the time and effort and putting all his focus into learning through videos just to make a cake, when he’s entirely clueless on it, just for little Prommy. SO SWEET UGH.

3. He stayed up all night for it? :’3

Honestly it’s hilarious at first, BUT THE FLUFFY IMAGES KEEP COMING TO MY HEAD, AND I’M DYING.

Cor is there at the kitchen, finishing the decoration of the cake and celebrating on his own, when tiny Prom appears at the door. He’s, of course, in his blue and white with yellow chocobo drawings pajamas, rubbing his eye, and staring at Cor in absolute shock.

“Prompto” Cor says in a murmur, surprised. “What are you doing here, my boy? It’s like 11, you should be in bed.”

“11?” Prommy asks, eyes wide. “Dad, it’s not that late. See, it’s seven.”

“Sev-?” Cor started asking because he thought more time had passed? Oh well at least it’s earlier than- wait a minute  “In the morning?”

“Yeah. I have to leave for school in an hour, dad. Did you sleep, papa? You look so tired. Did I keep you awake? :’(”

Somehow, Cor reassured him it wasn’t his fault, did the morning routine, and left Prommy at school. He usually lets him take the bus, but boy is carrying with a birthday cake so better stay safe there. Prommy thanks him like Cor just saved the entire world before leaving for school, BASICALLY ROCKETING HIS WAY INTO IT BECAUSE OMG HE’S SO EXCITED THIS IS THE BEST CAKE THAT HAS EVER EXISTED, NOCT WILL LOVE IT I AM  E C S T A T I C *UNINTELLIGIBLE PROMPTO SCREECHING*

Cor drives away, goes into the Citadel, prepared for work. 

The plan was that Mr. Scientia would pick both Noct and Prommy from school and to the Citadel, and Prompto runs to papa’s office as soon as he’s there because HE HAS TO THANK PAPA AGAIN, NOCT LOVED THE CAKE SO MUCH IT WAS THE BEST CAKE EVER, LOOK I SAVED A PIECE FOR YOU TOO, DAD, HGFDKASDKJLSDF

But as soon as Prommy bursts into his office, it’s like he walks into a wall and he stays there frozen and silent.

Cor, of course, is asleep on his desk. :’)

Prompto’s just 7, but heck does he understand. He knows that Cor stayed up all night just to make the cake, didn’t complain, even attended work without having slept! And honestly WHAT A MAN, I want to be like my dad one day ohmygod he’s so hard working and wants to make me happy and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ASDJDSFD

So even though Prommy was SUPER EXCITED about hanging and playing with Cor, all that he does is grab a blanket that was around from previous day when Prom insisted he slept there until dad was finished with some papers, climbed onto the desk, and covered Cor with it. It’s not particularly cold, but blankets have the power to scare nightmares away (Cor told him that, so IT’S TRUE, SHUT UP).

“You sleep, papa, I won’t tell the king” Prommy whispers. And then he gives a little kiss to Cor’s head. “Thank you for the cake, papa. You’re the best.”

And that’s how Prommy leaves to play with his friends somewhere else, while Cor sleeps on his desk because he spent the previous night making a cake not for the prince, but for his son so he could gift it to his friend.

PS: the king knows, he just decides to pretend he doesn’t. Don’t tell Prompto :’)