#okay i really do need a hiatus from social media

[menacewithawolfcut]

to be honest, i never really had any big predictions for the next season(s) of blue eye samurai, but if the show doesn’t end in mizu, taigen and akemi having the most delicious, scrumptiously-animated bisexual threesome with “pretty boy” by the neighbourhood OR at least literally any of the cigarettes after sex songs (bonus points if it’s a cover in japanese) playing in the background, arcane-style, i’m never leaving this damn earth peacefully, in fact, I’m just not leaving

[anoptimisticadventurer]

.

[svt-kiki]

( 🖇️ ) RELATIONSHIPS WITH HYUNG LINE ⌅ .

✦ 🍒 ⸝⸝ ⸺ seungcheol / s.coups

#　kiki　+　seungcheol　／　kicheol　...　100%

#　TAGLINE　...　old married couple *for real*

everyone can see they love each other

he can be the sea and she’ll be the ship that floating on it

every time he needs to play the 'scary eldest' role, she always felt sorry bc she knew she can’t do it ( she’s too pacifist for that )

kiki is his no.1 listner for whatever his thoughts are

they basically tie the knot already *blinks*

his parents basically adopts her lol

the reason why they have such a strong bond is not only they share the most trainee days with another

but they keep fighting to protect the group and members before and after the debut

seungcheol: *being sulky*

kiki: *judging side eye*

honestly she wasn’t totally sweetheart for him from the beginning ( not in the public eye i mean )

more like teased and pretended like judging him

but after he got into hiatus in 2019 ( it was HER darkest time too ) she just went like “f*ck that, i won’t stop expressing my love for him anymore”

well it’s always appearant that he goes down on her knees like-

not only within the group but recognized as one of the strongest ships among the kpop industry

the ‘knights line’ 1/3 - such a protective of her all the time

✦ 🐰 ⸝⸝ ⸺ jeonghan

#　kiki　+　jeonghan　／　kihani　...　80％

#　TAGLINE　...　devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

kiki in the most of gose : IM WATCHING U YOON JEONGHAN *in mute*

she pretends like she was offended by his cheating in the contents

but she’s the one who always cheers him and giving compliments

“u got this jeonghanna!” “u did so well~ i’m proud of u :)”

she always trust him through the trainee era, support him for both dancing and mentally

she knew he’s kinda type to get nervous often

so she always has his back, says something nice, holds his hands

and is she his soft spot? OBVIOUSLY

he always treats her meals and little gifts like sweets, cosmetics and accessories

she really takes care of his long hair bc if she doesn’t who does

late night walks, hanging out at the park

mostly she’s kinda ‘good girl’ type but when with him, her ‘devil mode’ would be activate ( and seungcheol would cry at the end )

jeonghan: *speaks japanese*

kiki: *proud mom*

personal space [ 404-not-found ]

well he kisses to her cheecks ... and forehead ... and top of the head ... and back of the hand ... ( and list continues )

when he turns low buttery mode, he goes towards her and either leans on her shoulder or rests his head on her lap ( mostly be witnessed in the concerts )

sometimes they are the completely opposite, but the other time share the same energy

✦ 🦌 ⸝⸝ ⸺ joshua

#　kiki　+　joshua　／　kishua　...　85%

#　TAGLINE　...　the mf soulmates

like i said, SOULMATES. that’s it, that’s the tweet

they’re like puzzle pieces ⸺ get along well bc it’s different

he brings out her active energy

she learned the guitar from him

and handles his silent chaotic energy pretty well lol

they always make plans and daydream abt trips they want to go

sometimes josh stans confirm he’s alive through her social media

joshua: *planning something crazy*

kiki, whispering: DON’T ( he’ll do it anyway 🤷🏻 )

cafe dates, drive dates, movie nights

his mom lowkey hopes for kiki to be a daughter-in-law which is never gonna happen lmao

he came up with ‘kit kat’ as her nickname

and yes, the treatment is sweet as the treat ;)

he normally acts like a twin but never forgets the gentle behavior as the gentleman should

especially in the beginning, she prefers not to be treated exceptional cuz she’s the only female member, but his manner and considerate changed it slowly ( and surely in a good way )

he’s kind of the friend who doesn’t say the words such as “oh r u okay” “i’m worried about u” out loud often but always there for her and take her to the night driving when she got stuck

✦ 🐱 ⸝⸝ ⸺ junnhui / jun

#　kiki　+　jun　／　kijun　...　70%

#　TAGLINE　...　the cat and the lion ( aka the owner )

they have the most pure kind of love

he has always been her protector in the airports and clouds

THE VISUAL

she really looking forward to go to shenzhen one day and visit all the places he wants to take them

she’s always so proud abt his acting career and calls him the movie star, now she’s too

and her secret dream is to costar with him one day

he never forgets to escorts her in the award shows and concerts, helping her in stairs, no hesitation to do arm in arm, lends her jacket if he worries she’s revealing too much of her bare skin for gowns ( in his eyes )

many skinships !!

they always share a bite to the other, both LOVE to have tasty foods and willing to let the one try

his little brother always wanna talk to her when he was a kid ( lowkey childhood crush ) then now he’s totally shy about that past and tries to avoide her when jun did the facetime and let the lil bro talk to her just to tease him

he won’t say anything until she went too far and overwork through days, but once he felt okay that’s enough he’ll just kidnapp her to the bedroom and tuck her in bed and like SLEEP

the ‘knights line’ 2/3 - he behaves like a cat playing with dearest owner and sending a nonverbal message to people around them like “ don’t look at her like that she’s OURS ”

✦ 🐯 ⸝⸝ ⸺ soonyoung / hoshi

#　kiki　+　soonyoung　／　kisoon　...　70%

#　TAGLINE　...　conqurer of the stage

everybody clear the way, the MAIN DANCERS are coming thru

but they really are THE all rounder, multi talented, just good at everything

they created their own handshake

she’s a secret no.1 supporter of horanghae

but she also LOVES his hamster pelsona, enjoys silently when it popped out randomly

in fact he is the reason that she determinded to be an idol for sure ⸺ she entered to pledis without firm belief about her future profession, but after his entry she was so impressed by his skills despite the gap of dance training experience. moreover, he was so sure about his future, to becoming the idol as his dream, and she just woke up as if she’d been slapped on the cheek like “what the hell i was thinking, of course i’ll be the idol too”

and he always admires her as a dancer and the respective person. he dreamed of not just being an idol, but standing on stage next to her since they met

surprisingly they quarrel most among the ship of kiki and members, but all of them are professional argument as they are in charge of choreographing and stage creation

and they always made up at the end of a day by eating ice pop side by side

he’s the one who encouraged her to do it when the other idol group reached out to her for their choreography production cos he believes in her talent more than anyone just as she does

both have hUGE gap between on and off stage, when they go hard it’s HARD 🔥🔥🔥 but otherwise they can be softest marshmallows

✦ 🐈‍⬛ ⸝⸝ ⸺ wonwoo

#　kiki　+　wonwoo　／　kinwoo　...　85%

#　TAGLINE　...　the book fairies

he’s nearly worshipping her *ships tea*

it’s not a big secret that she’s his first love ( at first sight )

and after all these years, she’s still the woman of his dreams

yall know wonwoo wasn’t really talkable person at first but more shy and quiet

well same things can say to her

so she understood his silent and calm yet passionate personality

and kiki really stood by his side and just being his comfort space

she listens to him well, even he express his thoughts into words not that much

she always recommends his glasses and he’ll buy her choice without HESITATION lol

they can spend whole time together without chattng, just reading or sleeping alnogside

and it’s so CUTE

he gave the camera to her for the birthday present, and it made her enjoying to take photos more than ever and he loves the influence he made on her

art museum date, hanging out in the night town and ww just keeps taking photo of her

they have a ritual as they go to the night walk when the group is off to the overseas in tours, strolling the town and find the cozy cafes

she can notice whenever he is stressed or gets nervous and so does he, she often pats his back in those situation and it comforts him really well

u can see ww stares her a LOT in behind contents or gose ( he literally gave up to hide his affection at this point )

tries to teach her how to play pc games but fails everytime

✦ 🍚 ⸝⸝ ⸺ jihoon / woozi

#　kiki　+　jihoon　　／　　kihoon　...　55%

#　TAGLINE　...　the vocal boss and the dance queen

trust me, they ARE strong. it’s just not aloud as others

woozi found japanese beatuful at first bc it’s the language she spoke

and kiki loves the words and lyrics he weaves, his korean is like a poet to her

he doesn’t wanna admits out loud but it’s hard to say she hasn’t owned the special ( and soft ) place in his heart

even makes him to do slightest physical contacts: pinches her sleeves, fiddles with her hair, plays with her earrings... and the list continues

kiki’s the one takes care him when he starts to get stuck in the studio for the work

takes him to the short walk, late night drives, make him foods and be sure he gets rest

sometimes they just sit together in the universe factory and chats about the song, anime and composing stuffs, eats takeouts and sessions or duets randomly

she joins as a recording direction besides him time to time, esp in the jp songs recording: she’s the lyricist of the jp songs is one of the reasons but also she has the good ears and able to hear the subtle difference like he does

woozi: *points out the differences* others: okay but WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE kiki: ??? wasn’t it obvious...???

well apparently she’s the closest female to him on the planet ( except his family ofc )

he rarely calls her noona but mostly just calls her kiki, there’s no paticular reason it’s just what it is

(    📁    ) �� :   NAVI   :  MASTER LIST     

( tag list / open ) : @smh-anon

[bangchansgirlsblog]

another random idea.. Fem 9th member maknae reader who secretly smokes and gets caught by one of the boys who later snitches and tells chan. Reader and Chan fall out and she storms out of the dorms and ends up staying in her apartment instead to let off some steam. She realised how bad the smoking was for her health and how much it impacted her social life so she first to JYP and they send her to rehab + puts her on hiatus for two months because of rehab. Chan thinks it’s his fault for the hiatus as none of the members were told that she was going to rehab. They later find out and when Reader returns back from rehab/hiatus they all tell her how proud they are of her?

(sorry for the LONGGGG paragraph, i didn’t intend for it to be this long🧍‍♀️)

My biggest problem.

Okay maybe I got carried away a little and changed it a little but yeah forgive me 😜

Enjoy

-🩷

**

Y/n started smoking when she was 15.

She didn't know that she was eventually going to be a trainee the year after.

It was never part of her plan but when they scouted her when she was at the mall with her mum, it was a new chapter in her story and her mum begged for her to try it out. As her training days began and she tried to quit she found that she couldn’t go a day without smoking.

She was already addicted to it.

Her habit became stronger and stronger as the days got harder.

6 hours dance practice, 4 hours vocal and 2 hours media training. She found her self sneaking out for smokes during short breaks or before leaving the dorms for any type of schedule.

It sucked that she couldn't get out of it and it was affecting her.

At this point she didn’t even want to stop because if she did her body would fail.

**

1:45 pm, New York City.

"Alright people let's get started shall we?" The instructor walked onto the stage and stood at the edge waiting for everyone to get in place.

Y/n put her water bottle down and walked over to the group to get into her place so they could start practicing for the show that would happen the next day.

"Y/n and I.N I want more energy from the both of you please," Chan told the two maknae's. He was stood in the back analyzing everything to make sure it was on point.

The two nodded and stood ready to start. The sound of Charmer filled the whole stadium and their bodies started to move with the music. Their vocals being on point and their dancing being better than the last.

"What do you think?" The manager asked Chan. He was now stood down off stage looking at a different point of you. The rest of the band gasping for air.

"It was okay, I liked it but the lighting crew need to do better because I can barely see Felix in the back." He pointed and waved as he spoke. Trying to show the manager what he was imagining.

Y/n saw this as an opportunity to slip away for a bit for a short smoke break. She needed it. Her hands were shaking and her body couldn't really function due to the fuck she was going through withdrawals.

"Chan, may I use the washroom?" Her voice was timid but Chan was used to it and was able to hear her over his earpeaces.

"Yeah you can, five minutes yeah?" He replied. "Do you need one of the boys to come with you-"

"No no no it's fine," she replied fast, way to fast for Chan's liking.

"Okay," he squinted his eyes in suspicion but let it go.

She grabbed her bag and made her way through the different hallway. Making sure no one was in sight, she slipped through the backdoor to the back way alley.

It was quiet. No one was there and she was glad. She let go of the sign that lingered in her chest and pulled out the pack of cigs that laid neatly in her small pouch.

Her hands shook as she grabbed one cigarette and put it between her lips where she lit it and took a big puff.

Her body relaxed as the smoke filled her lungs. Her brain that was going hellfire was now calm and relaxed as well.

She thought she was safe when she reached for the second one. None of the boys had called her phone and it had been about 5 minutes.

"Just one more," she thought to herself.

"Y/n?" a voice called right by her ear causing her to jump and drop the pack of cigs.

"What are you doing?" She turned to look at Hyunjin who was visibly angry.

His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were sealed tightly together.

"Hyunjin what are you doing here?" She asked as she got on her knees trying to collect the cigarettes that were now scattered all over.

"What do you mean what are you doing here? What are YOU doing here Y/n? And why are you smoking? Have you gone mad? Does Chan know about this?" He questioned standing there in shock.

"No,no Chan doesn't know about this and you're not telling him," Y/n hushed him trying to stop him from shouting and yelling.

"I think you've actually gone insane! Ofcourse I'm telling Chan,” he grabbed the cigarettes from Y/n's hand and threw them back to the ground where he stomped all over them.

"Inside. Now." He said through gritted teeth. Y/n was scared, it was visible. She grabbed her back and slowly made her way inside the venue. Her lips quivered.

"Hyunjin please don't tell Chan, please I'll do anything," she begged.

"I have to Y/n. I'm so disappointed in you. We trusted you and you do this?" His eyes couldn't meet hers. His body was tense as they walked backstage to the rooms in the back. The hallways gettin busier each second. The employees questioning why she was crying.

"Are you okay-"

"Yes she is please go along with your work," Hyunjin snapped at one of the ladies. Y/n looked up at him frightened because he was always nice to people, he never once raised his voice at an employee.

When they arrived in the room. The boys were sat on the couches or having lunch. Chan was texting on his phone when he looked up.

"Y/n? Why did you bathroom break take so long?" He laughed and looked at Hyunjin who wasn't smiling.

"I caught her smoking Chan, she reeks of cigarettes" her head fell and she looked at her new trainers that one of the companies had sent her for promotion. It looked so intriguing all of a sudden.

"You caught her what? Hyunjin your joking," Chan laughed, "please tell me your joking," he paused and looked at the serious Hyunjin.

"Tell him, tell him now." He slightly pushed her in front of him so they could be face to face.

"I-I can explain Chan,"

"No way Y/n please tell me you're joking," his voice became harsh. The boys all turned to Y/n. They were all shocked at this because she was the last person to ever do such a thing.

"What the fuck?" Changbin's voice sounded. "You've been smoking?"

"Only a little," her voice was small. Timid almost.

"Don't lie, please don't fucking lie right now Y/n." Chan says walking closer to the younger.

"Sit down, now." Leeknow says standing up and dropping his chopsticks.

"Your only 19, I get your all 'grown' BUT your still so young. You're an idol. An idol!" Chan's hand smashes against the table making her jump in her sit.

"Okay then if you think I'm an adult I should be able to smoke or drink or-"

"Are you out of your mind momo?" He snapped back at her, "Do you know what it does to you?"

"But Chan-"

"Quit Or I'll make you quit," was all Chan said before he stormed out the room leaving her with the boys who looked very disappointed.

"I get it, you don't have to look at me like I'm some monster," she wiped her tears with her sleeve to clean the tears that run down her cheeks.

"I just don't have words for you right now, your irresponsible, selfish and careless," Leeknow's words were harsh. So harsh that even Hyunjin cringed and felt bad.

"Then kick me out the band if it's such a big deal," was all she said before she got up and run out the room down the hallway past Chan who was standing by the doors while a manger tried to calm him down and out the stadium. It was cold and she had left all her stuff inside so she was forced to run down the busy streets of New York, freezing.

Chan following after her trying to figure out what was going on.

Her body was shaking from all the tears she cried.

But she continued to run.

She was able to disappear from Chan’s sight. Now Chan was really angry and worried. He'd lost his youngest in the busy streets of New York. She was new to the city and she was an idol. Anything could go wrong. Anything could go extremely wrong.

His heart was beating out of his chest. He grabbed his phone out of his picked rushing to call his manager then leeknow and the boys.

He found himself back in the changing rooms surrounded by everyone. Trying to calm him down.

"I'll go back to the hotel just in case she's back there," Felix assured Chan while he packed up his stuff.

"I'll come with you Lix," Hyunjin grabbed his bag aswell making sure to grab her stuff from the ground. He opened to make sure all her stuff was inside but the site wasn't pretty at all.

Underneath everything he saw 4 more packs of cigarettes causing him to gasp horrendously.

"What? What is it?" Bangchan's neck snapped to his direction. Hyunjin had no words so he just passed the bag to Chan who was now terrified.

"Is she addicted?" Was all he asked before handing the bag to leeknow who was curious aswell.

Chan's hands run through his hair as he was thinking of all the possible ways he could find her in the whole of New York City. He felt guilt. He felt like if he had maybe approached this in a nicer way they could have worked through it but now his anger was just blinding him.

"Okay, police were informed and we're about to go driving around to see if we can somehow spot her," their manager tells them (he was also panicking low key but he didn’t want them knowing) , "do you guys want to join?"

"I'll come with you," Leeknow says quickly.

His hands were shaking and he felt so much guilt aswell. If anything happened to Y/n it would be all his fault and he wouldn't forgive himself.

"Same Hyung," Han jumps in.

They all grabbed their bags and the three (Han, Leeknow and Chan) quickly rushed out right behind their manager.

The rest of the boys cleaned up and quickly left to go to the hotel hoping to find her there safe and sound.

It took 5 hours. 5 hours before Felix had decided to go to the cafe by the hotel to grab drinks for everyone and he had found her sat in a coffee shop, she was shivering and cold but Felix didn’t care because he was angry and Felix was never angry. Without hesitation, Felix dragged her out and back to the hotel even if she was kicking and screaming. He didn’t care. At all. He ignored her pleas and cries.

The lecture she got from Chan and all of them was hot and mean and ruthless but at the end of the day they gave her a choice to either quit or go to rehab but she chose to quit. She “promised” them.

After an hour of grilling her for answers she finally had admitted to everything that was going on and how she felt and how she was battling her own self.

Chan was beating himself up for not noticing and Leeknow was beating himself up for not being there for her.

She was so vulnerable. They all knew her secrets and her problems. She felt like a show everyone was just watching and waiting to break.

**

6:20, Japan

The first time the boys had noticed her odd behavior was starting up again, was when they had a sign meet and a concert right after. She hadn’t been able to go for a smoke in hours, her body was now trembling and she was sweating a lot. She could barely get through anything and nausea started to grow string in the pit of her stomach.

“Hey, you okay? You kinda look pale love,” Han was sat next to her getting his makeup done and so was she. He had notice she was fidgeting a lot in the chair. Her eyes were red too.

“Yeah just really tired,” she lied and gulped down thick saliva trying to get rid of the nausea but it completely failed.

“I think I’m going to be sick-“ she got up from the chair and run through the corridors to find the bathroom and once she did she through up, but it was good it was just mucus. Her head was thumping and her throat ached.

A hurried knock made her stand up and flush before she opened the door and collapsed in Han’s hands. He was worried for his younger and now he had to curry her to the rooms.

“Hey, stay with me okay? Don’t close your eyes,” he softly said while he blew air into her face to keep her cool.

When he had walked in and found leeknow sat on their changing room couch he let out a sigh of relief.

“Leeknow help me please! It’s Y/n,” he said panicked. Without hesitation leeknow stood up quickly and took her from Hans hands and put her on the couch to lay down.

Han had run down the corridor to get medics as leeknow woke her up from her faint state.

“Momo? Can you hear me? It’s leeknow,” a soft groan left her lips.

“Would you like some water?” She nodded her head and leeknow was on it. He got on one knee and started to feed her small sips of water.

“Tell me what hurts,” he softly said and played with her hair to calm her down.

“Everything,” she softly said and it aches Leeknow’s hurt.

Y/n knew the only way for her to get out of this state was to smoke but how?

“Leeknow, I- I need to use the bathroom,” she groaned and held her hand against her head.

“If you need to puke i’ll get you a bucket love,” he assured her. He didn’t want her waking and being left alone right now. He wouldn’t allow it.

“I need to pee,”

“Okay can you wait until the medics are here?” And right on cue the door opens and a frantic Han walks into the room with a few people behind him. Then Chan and Hyunjin walked in right behind.

“What happened Y/n?” Chan asked straight away and knelt beside her while he rubbed her hands.

“I don’t know Oppa, I was just not feeling the best,”

“You should have told me my love,” he softly said as he watched the medical team examine her.

“I thought it wasn’t this bad,”

“Now you see what it has done,” Hyunjin joint the conversation. “Look how tired you look, have you eaten anything all day?” He asked her.

“I had the lunch Changbin braught me,”

“So if we called Changbin right now he would agree?” Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. Disappointed.

“No-“

“How bad is it?” Chan asked the man in uniform.

“Not bad, she’s just really dehydrated. We’ll fix an IV on her arm and she’ll be good to go, also may I speak to you outside in the corridor,” Leeknow looks at Chan worried and they exchanged the same expression before Chan head out with the guy.

“I need to pee really bad,” Y/n whines and complains.

“Okay you can go, I’ll come with you,” the lady medic says and slowly guides her to the bathroom. Y/n grabs her lighter and cig and started to smoke it. The feelings make her body slowly awaken and then gain energy. She smoked one more just incase and then washed her hands and made her way back to the last medic.

She was able to walk on her own but just to make it not look suspicious she held onto her and then finally she sat on the couch and got the iv in her arm.

Chan was back in the room and he was examining her. Trying to look for something and once it caught his eye he looked over at the rest of the boys nodding and they all just stare at eachother.

They knew. They knew she was smoking again and it hurt Chan for what was about to come was not going to be pretty.

**

10:55, south Korea

The paparazzi lights started to increase when She stood up in the podium. Her eyes were red and she had eyebags from the lack of sleep she was getting.

Her hands shook as she grabbed the microphone. The boys stood right behind her. Their head looking at the ground trying to avoid her shaking body.

"Goodmorning, my name is Y/n Y/l/n and I'm a member of strays kids. I didn't want this to happen. Trust me I didn't,"

She took a deep breath looking at the manager that were sat in the front raw. Judging her and giving her a disgusted look.

A sob Left her mouth and she put the microphone down. Trying to get herself together before she spoke again.

"To all the stays out there, I want to say I love you and I hope you guys can forgive me for this. I will be going on haitus for a while," the room is filled with gasps as the flashlights now increase even more.

"I pray that if I do come back I will be better and stronger for you guys and that I will make my group and team proud. Thank you for loving me and i hope to see you guys soon," she bowed before taking a step back and wiping her tears.

The boys all stood around her to hide her body from the camera. Han rubbing her back and whispering something in her ear.

She didn't care though, she was upset. She was so upset with herself but she still managed to blame the boys. Her reasoning? Because she felt like they were giving her up and sending her away.

**

"Alright, are you all packed?" Their manager stood outside her room.

"Yeah" she softly said rolling her bag out and handing it to the older man.

"Alright the boys are down stairs if you want to say bye, I'll be waiting in the car," he nodded and left her to close her room and head down the steps to her band mates.

They all looked upset, there was no lie there. There were all stood by the door giving her a sympathetic smile.

"I'm going to miss you," Chan steps up and pulls her into a hug. She didn't want it though. She shrugged it off and stood there looking at him with teary eyes.

"Chan please don't do this,"

"You know I want was best for you-"

"But Chan I'll change I promise just give me a chance,"

His eyes were soft and filled with tears. Guilt was eating him up. He so badly wanted not to send her away but he didn't have a choice.

"I'm sorry," the sound of a honk interrupts them and she knew it was time for her to go.

“I hate you,” she sobbed. That was the last thing she said to him and without looking back she left the dorms. Hoping that somehow she would make it out alive.

Breaking news, strays kids maknae Y/N Y/N/L and group manager in have been left in critical condition after a fatal car crash. Was it a set up?

**

I’m not doing a part two🙈

[rememberingliampayne]

Dear Liam,

Sometimes I try to live in denial, pretending you're still here. As a fan I find it's difficult to fully comprehend the idea of death, especially since I've never met you in real life. I have spent most of my life emerged into being a fan of you, from one direction days to supporting your soloist ventures. I have constantly kept up with your content from listening to your music, having pictures of you up on my wall for years (and consistently still to this date), or watching your social media presence. You are someone I one sidedly interact with daily, yet you're no longer here. It is so difficult to understand that you are no longer here because I don't see you in real life, so it had been difficult for me to NOT live in denial over the fact that you left us. But I'm truly devastated that it has really happened, and I will never see your new content. How is it possible that I won't be listening to new music, or opening a new tik tok or snapchat story ever again.

The few times that it does hit me for real, I think it would be easier to just pretend it's not real. I go about watching old edits or interviews just like how I would always watch old one direction content. I mentally tell myself that it's just a hiatus, and I like to think that you're taking a quick break lol. This makes it easier to cope with the unexpected loss of you, my literal idol.

As only a fan, and not a family member or loved one, I cannot even imagine what those closest to you are going through right now. I think about and regularly pray for your whole family, and Bear, and everyone who knew you personally, as they grieve through this. I hope everyone you knew is doing okay, and I know you're probably watching over them right now :)

Liam, I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, getting me through some of my roughest times, as you probably have done for many other fans, and being such a ray of 'sunshine' in everyone's lives. You were always such a kind heart from what I've watched of your content, constantly donating to those in need. Did you know that the choose love x liam payne shirt has been purchased SO many times since you passed? You've done so much other good work which just goes to prove how kind of a soul you are.

Rest in paradise Liam, we are all going to miss you so much. Even though you didn't know many of us, we will always miss you and appreciate everything that you are.

[i-am-baechu]

Summary: Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Y/N and Jungkook love each other but when familiar and new faces come into their lives, things get complicated. On top of that, a surprise that truly shakes their plans for the future. Will their relationship push forward or will Jungkook lose his fangirl once and for all?

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Epilogue

→ Genre: Idol au, established relationships, girl group stan au, social media au, K-pop fan page au, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

→ Main pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Fan girl! Reader 

→ Side ships: Yoongi x OC & Jin x OC

→ Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, alcohol usage, anxiety disorder, stalking, and obsessive behavior

Author's note: I can’t believe this is the ending of the story! Don’t worry there's going to be an after story with the drabbles and the final book but for now...here's the last chapter! 

⇜ Masterlist 

“Solo?”

Jungkook turned toward Y/N and nodded his head, “We’re not disbanding, just taking a hiatus and focusing on our solo careers.” 

After a long meeting, Jungkook was excited to come home to his fiancée. It was a long meeting discussing the future of everyone. Everyone agreed they wanted to do their own music and Jungkook wanted to focus more on Y/N. It would be the first real break he had with her and his music can wait. 

Y/N nodded her head and placed her hand on top of his, “Are you okay with it?”

“Of course I am. I get to spend so much time with my fiancée.” 

She smiled shyly at this and gently rubbed his knuckles with her thumb, “fiancée..it still hasn’t set in.” 

“Babe, it’s been two months already.” 

She shrugged her shoulders and glanced at a sleeping Bam, “I’m really getting married...that’s crazy to say.” She looked back at him with a smile, “I bet Mae is happy about this. Yoongi gets to spend time with-” Just then Bam jumped up on the couch and nuzzled into Y/N.

Jungkook glared and shook his head, “Always trying to steal my girl. It’s not fair.”

“We're engaged, Jungkook.” 

“Doesn’t matter. Bam will always find a way.” 

Mae turned around in the bed and smiled at Yoongi who was already looking at her. He pushed some hair back and kissed her forehead, “How are you feeling?” 

Mae let out a small chuckle and nuzzled into her pillow some more, “I feel like my pussy got ripped in half but other than that good.”

Yoongi let out a laugh and kissed her hairline, “Thank you for giving me everything I didn’t know I wanted.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled into his chest, “Thank you for making me want kids.” 

Just then a small cry echoed from the baby monitor and Mae groaned. Yoongi patted her waist and pushed the covers off, “I’ll get him. Ye-Joon probably just needs his diapers changed.” 

Mae nodded her head and smiled at her, “Okay, daddy.”

Yoongi glared at her and shook his head, “Don’t start with that shit.” 

“Wait, come here real quick.”

Yoongi thought something was wrong and quickly made his way back to her. She smirked and brought him in for a quick kiss making his eyes go wide. When they pulled away she put her forehead on his, “I love you so much, Min Yoongi.” 

“I love you, Mae Rodriguez.”

The cry echoed longer and she let out a small laugh, “Go get our son before he breaks our eardrums.” 

“I’ll get our son.” Yoongi walked towards his bedroom but he turned back to Mae and his heart fluttered. He shook his head with a small laugh escaping his lips and he closed the door gently. 

Eunbi opened her door and she raised her eyebrow at what she saw, “Namjoon? Why are you here?” 

Namjoon sighed and pulled out a card from his jacket, “Jin wanted me to give you this.” 

Eunbi tilted her head and nodded her head, “This isn’t going to kill me, right?”

“Why would your boyfriend want to kill you?”

“Right...” She opened the card and a smile appeared, Go to the park! She looked at Namjoon with a curious look, “Do you know about this?”

“I never know what Jin wants to do.”

“You can come in and get a snack if you want.” 

Namjoon shook his head and brought his jacket to him, “I’m alright. I’d rather not be here when you guys have sex.” 

Eunbi’s face turned red and furrowed her eyebrows, “Yah! Don’t say that so loud. My neighbors are old.”

“Lucky, at least they don’t have to hear anything.” 

After kicking Namjoon out, Eunbi took her away to the park next to her apartment. She was dressed in her pajamas which consisted of sweats and one of Jin’s shirts. She pulled her beanie down more when she felt the wind touching her face. She rolled her eyes at herself, she should’ve put a jacket on. She walked further down and she stopped in her tracks to see Jin with a bouquet of roses and balloons. She raised her eyebrow and let out a small laugh, “What’s going on?” 

He pulled down his mask and gave her a smile, “Happy three months.” 

She looked up at him and felt her heart beating faster, “That’s tomorrow?” 

“I know...I couldn’t wait to see you.” 

She let out a laugh and walked closer to her as he did the same. She looked up at him as he stared back down with heart eyes, “All this for out three months?” 

“Just wait and see our first anniversary.” 

“You're already planning that? We just started dating...” 

He shrugged his shoulders and bent down placing a quick kiss on her lips. She jumped at the sudden contact but she closed her eyes to kiss back. When they pulled away and he smiled at her, “I have so much planned for us. I told you, I saw my future with you.”

“All those rom-coms couldn’t prepare me for this.” 

He let out a laugh and glanced at her apartment, “I’ll cook you something. To celebrate tonight and tomorrow I’ll take you out to this fancy restaurant.” 

“You treat me right.”

“Of course my duchess.” 

Jungkook closed the door and saw Y/N on her phone on their bed. He smiled at this and took off his shirt, tossing it aside. She glanced up from her phone and smiled, “Is Bam sleeping?”

“Yeah, I was wondering...when was the last time we fucked?” 

Y/N straighten her back against the headboard, “I-I...maybe two weeks.” 

He glanced at her with a smirk, “That’s a long time. Wanna change that?” 

“I think it would be romantic to have one last night in this house before moving.” 

Jungkook moved towards her and was hovering over her, “That’s right. We’re moving. Isn’t that exciting?”

She felt goosebumps appear when she felt his fingers against her thigh, “I-It’s very exciting-” She wanted to speak but he kissed her making her forget everything. She ran her hands along his arms and then over his shoulders to steady herself. She played with his locks because they pulled away. Jungkook touched her like she was glass and she couldn’t stop her heart beating, “I love you so much.” 

He brushed his lips over her next and her breathing started to get uneven. She felt her body heat up as she enjoyed his kisses. He took any fabric that was covering her body and she couldn’t help but look away from that smile he always has when he sees her like this. He started to trailed his lips down to her neck and then her collarbone as he gazed up. His eyes were a darker shade of brown and she knew what it meant. She knew what his eyes told her, this was her fiancé after all. He continued to leave kisses on her skin until he reached between her thighs. His hot breath against her cold skin sent shivers. He wrapped his arms around her thighs keeping her close to his face, his fiancée was shy, especially with this action. 

She held onto his brown strands as she felt her body move against him. Each kiss and lick made her back arch in a way that made the air in the room thicker. She could feel a few strands of sweat coming down as her legs trembled under his touch. His tongue was always enough for her. Moments later, the trembling increased as his tongue rushed in. 

He leaned over and kissed, his lips always felt soft and always filled with love. She placed her hand on his cheek and rubbed his cheek gently, “You always make me feel good.” 

“You make me feel good. Physically and emotionally. Always make me feel loved, my wife.” 

He hugged her body close to his and she was surprised by the action but she understood. After everything they've been through, this moment was more than a declaration of love. It was a declaration of a better future. She let her nails gently scratch his skin and he left kisses against his shoulder. She moaned out his name as he moved in and out of her. It was intimate, so intimate. He placed his temple against her and they made eye contact, “You are so perfect...perfect for me. My Y/N.” 

She felt her heart swell up at this and she had to stop herself from crying. This man was her everything and she couldn’t believe that this man was all hers. Forever and ever. She pushed some hair away from his sweaty forehead and gave him a shy smile, “I love you Jeon Jeongguk.” 

He smiled and kissed her as she wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him closer. She felt herself tighten and the familiar tremble came over, “Come, love.” 

She tilted her head and moaned out his name as she came inside of her. Both eyes met and she could see the love pouring out, “Are you ready for the future?”

“If you're in it, I’m ready for anything.” 

Somewhere in Florida....

He glanced down at the news article on his phone and let out a scoff, “She’s getting married to him?” 

The woman in front of him nodded her head, “A lot of people support them but there's a small group that doesn’t like it.” 

He tossed his phone on the dinner table and glanced out to the waves, “What do you want me to do about it?” 

“Every bride needs her father...go visit her.” 

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Tag List:

@agustdpeach @mdavt @aloverga @drissteele @xngelsau

[cloudsofbespin]

How do you make gifs?

Hello! I use Photoshop + the *highest quality video of the desired scene/moment I can find.

If the original video is long, as with movies or individual show episodes, I cut it into shorter parts containing the scene(s) I want to gif, using the VLC media player.

Then I open Photoshop and import the shorter video(s) using the Import video frames to layers option. Then I choose the exact moment I want to gif and import it to Timeline.

And then it's really up to the individual gif maker how they like to edit/make their gifs. How big do they make them, how much do they sharpen them, how do they colour them (I mostly use Curves and Selective colour), if they add grain/noise, and so on.

I'm really bad at explaining all of this, so here are some tutorials from much more experienced gifmakers than I am.

https://arianagrandre.tumblr.com/post/181835661395/heres-a-basic-gif-tutorial-using-frame

*Sometimes you can't find a high-quality recording, and that's fine (when you wanna gif something posted on social media, for example), but if you want to make pretty gifs, the more HD, the better.

Hope that helps!

[esmeislewd]

okay so uh....this is complicated and not particularly the kind of content you wanna hear from a gainer account.

Basically, I need to stop gaining weight for a surgery. Which 1, sucks and 2, I might not be able to regain for a long while after because I'll be in recovery for a few months. It also means I'm going to be out of pocket 23 grand. Now I CAN pay for it, so please don't worry about a go fund me, but it will leave a serious dent in my financial future afterwards. To help soften this I was thinking of setting up an only fans/selling content but I'm not sure what I will be able to do/people want to see. In the short term, I will stop gaining weight. Content should hopefully continue mostly as normal in the lead-up to surgery but I won't be getting any bigger. Then after surgery I am looking at a potentially LONG recovery, like a week in hospital followed up by weeks of not being able to do much and I don't know how much energy I will have to make things or take cute pics. I'll try to keep posting but honestly, my health comes first so there might be a long hiatus. However, after I'm recovered I will hopefully be a lot more free with the kinds of content I will be able to make as I won't have anywhere near the degrees of limitations I have now (not just for weight but in terms of what I can do with my body).

Following up the only fans/content discussion I have a few questions I would greatly appreciate answers to as I have very little experience in this field:

How would you prefer to get content? Only fans, curvage, selling links to a google drive, patreon, clips4sale?

How do you find new models to subscribe to? Social media (if so which ones) or directly on the platforms they're producing on?

Would people be interested in stuffing videos even if I'm losing weight between vids and vids would be infrequent due to needing to diet)?

Is there much interest in extended belly play content? I have made a few tiny videos and gifs before but have no experience with any longer-form content.

Would people be interested in erotic audio stuff? I would be only producing f4f or f4a content as I'm just not comfortable with making f4m.

In the really long term would people be interested in more explicit/sexual content?

[xplrvibes]

on a serious note, are the boys actually okay? they seem so distant and they look drained. and let me just say, i'm sure this isn't the girls' fault. the boys aren't being held at gun point to stay with them. like you said, if they're making snc miserable, they wouldn't be with them.

I truly don't know. They aren't very forthcoming on xplrclub these days, either; the party line seems to be that they just have a lot of moving parts in their lives and are very busy.

If you want my honest theory, they should've taken a long, serious break after Colby recovered from chemo last year. There shouldn't have been a hell week or anything like that. They should've been on a hiatus.

Colby was declared cancer free at the end of June(ish?), and they were back to filming, editing, and traveling full-time by early July. That is just not enough time, physically or mentally, to adjust or process the whirlwind of everything that had happened.

They dove headfirst into grinding at the same level they were at pre-cancer and I just don't think that was a good idea.

Couple that with all the other crap going on right now - the Conjuring shit, the fans, the constant travel, the fact that Colby is still doing over 50% of the editing when he damn well shouldn't be, etc - and I honestly just think they are treading water and spinning plates.

Especially Colby. Sam...I don't know. It's hard to get a read on him. That philosophy he's always spouting really never actually says all that much, if you truly look at it sideways. The message he seems to be throwing out there is, "Everything sucks but also everything's cool and I'm just gonna focus on the cool and keep it moving," which...ok. Have fun, I guess, but that approach to life has to be exhausting after a while.

Then again, Sam does seem more animated and interested in their recent appearances on public podcasts and interviews, whereas again, Colby just seems to be checking out mentally. So, idk. Maybe Sam's just having an easier time putting the "Sam and Colby LLC" mask on right now, but I noticed it with Colby way before I noticed anything with Sam.

As for their distance - to put it plainly, the internet sucks. Colby has made it apparent for years that it's hard for him to see the things said about him online, to the point where he admitted to having a breakdown about it all about a year or so ago, and has recently said he can't even look at comments anymore. Even Sam, who always seemed to have a more healthy wall up between him and the uglier side of social media, has recently made a few comments suggesting that he, too, is sick of it. So, that coupled with just being busy and having a lot of shit to do in a day - it's really easy, if something needs to be eliminated from your daily schedule for you to have more free time and a better quality of life, to cut social mesia from the roster.

I also lowkey think they are starting to be sick of the paranormal stuff, but that's just me.

I think they need to take a break, sit down, and really work on restructuring their business and their lives in a way where it isn't so go-go-go and the onus for everything isn't on them. They need to take a break from social media and the rat race that it can be, and they both need some serious therapy.

But I'm sure they will do none of that, so this cycle will probably continue in perpetuity.

[delightful-hatter]

PSA Announcement

Hi, hello, morning, afternoon, evening. I'm sure some of you know who I am for those who went on a long journey with me.

Some of you may know that I was once known to be as octavia_or_pama, galaxus_prime, and even mama_octi to this point. I had so many names since I was very new to the whole social media output and I was trying to see what will fit me the most at the time.

Starting off, sorry for being on hiatus for a long while through this year. As I have a great job that earns me good money and what not. Unfortunately my parents are divorced due to lack of communication and the spark of love between them died down. As this happened, this made me think for a long time about why things go up and down. And, despite the hardship of what I have been through, I wish to try and reconnect with others that I met through the journey here on Tumblr.

First of all, I know that some of you won't accept my words, but I wish to apologize for all the trouble that has happened within the TTTE fandom. I made some good choices while I also have made wrong choices as well. In the beginning, I started out as a simple teen who thought tracing was okay for a while because I wanted to be good as well. Until one person, who is now a very good friend of mine today, stopped me and helped me through that tracing was not okay and that there are better ways to be more good in my own way. without them, I wouldn't be here today and have my own art style I call my own without as I had help practice more and more to where I can be able to draw without struggles. During that timeline, I also made more friends than I ever thought here as I walked alone and gained some really awesome people.

We all had bumps and turns that caused a few wrong choices to happen, but eventually things turned out okay as we stopped and figured out what to do to get back to making good choices.

A couple years ago, I left the TTTE fandom for the sake of my mental health and my friends safety as it was an eye opener that social media not only has good people, but nasty ones behind the mask and I needed a break from all of that. It also gave me time to think about the choices I have made, whether it was right or wrong, and see what I can do to make myself better for the good choices I can make in real life.

The past can hold painful memories, yet it also teaches us a valuable lesson on what you can do to make the next day better for yourself and the people around you. History has a way to repeat itself, but now you know what to do to make the right choice to be able to choose the right choice instead of the wrong choices that you made.

My brother and I watched a whole marathon of Thomas and friends, and it made me remember the good times I have with the friends I made in the fandom, and i want to reconnect and make a new chapter where we can get back together again and make new memories that feel good in our hearts and souls.

While I still have my job and what not, whenever I have a chance on my day off, I want to make some TTTE content here and there to get back into the groove and connect with the people I met again and see how this will end off to. The future is always a mystery to all of us, but I believe that meeting old and new friends is a start to finding out what the future is, not just for me, but for all of us as well.

Please let me know what you think and what are your thoughts and opinions of this, as to where this would lead off to.

[gothamstimms]

OH SHIT DAWG- Here we go again. :)

((Enie here!! Welcome back and here's an explanation for this huge ass hiatus as well as how this is gonna go from now on,

I've had a seizure disorder for some time, it's not deep, but I do have to take breaks to recover from them as well as see professionals. (Am okay ❤)

I've been kinda detoxing from my phone lately! I was very much a phone addict and I really recommend seeking help and getting more in touch without social media. It's a hard journey but my mental health just feels a lot better.

I've officially cut off all of my internet connections. People are interesting and putting time into physical relationships is what's important to me right now.

And finally, I had an issue come up where someone was very disrespectful with the way they requested and the way the thought of my personal time. This person was a friend, so I just wanted to remind everyone this is just a hobby, one of many I have! I draw, play with miniature sets, dnd and stupid shit like that, I just need a but of patience is all. ❤

Tldr; New blog is up! And I'm okay, life is just busy as always.

[loptrcoptr]

I’m glad people are talking about this on good ol tumblr dot com, because I swear I only took a hiatus from this site for half a year, after a solid decade or so of daily tumblr use, and in that time I can already see an enormous change in attitudes toward shipping/fandom/interests in general that kind of worry me. So for those of yall who are young or maybe not so set in your ways…

your interests are your own and you don’t owe anyone shit. That includes explaining yourself for posting about your interests. No, no, babe. It’s your blog, it’s your rules, you do what you want.

You can’t judge a person by their tastes. Not just “don’t judge”, I’m saying you fully cannot. You can tell a lot about a person, sure, but you can’t know entirely what they are like and what their “morals” are based on the media they consume or things they are into. has a friend or partner ever told you about something they did in bed and you were like “wow idk if I would do that”. Did you immediately decide it made them a bad person and server ties?? No. That’s not how life works.

To be “interested” is not automatically to condone, and you can be fascinated with something without agreeing with anything about it. That girl on your bus who listens to serial killer podcasts and reads murderer autobiographies is not the same as a serial killer. One kills people, and the other is fascinated by it. it’s okay to inform yourself about taboo things because the taboo is inherently intriguing. The point is that you’re not out there breaking the social agreement and doing Bad Stuff. It’s kind of like saying anyone who’s into rape fantasy is inherently a rapist and that the existence of the subject is an afront to rape victims. But I gotta tell you, as a rape victim: go off queen, that’s your business. My lived experience is not relevant to your fantasy. No one’s is.

And for the love of all the gods I am begging you: there is no hierarchy of queer shipping that is more or less gay, makes you more or less gay for enjoying it, or makes you a disrespecter of the internet lgbtqiap2s+ community at large for enjoying it. I have seen so much of this type of shit in the last few months, and it genuinely frightens me. Sure, ship wars and anon hate and all that crap have always been a thing in fandom. However, this escalation into some kind of Queer Ship Pyramid of Objective Goodness is at best, whack, and at worst harmful to people’s self-worth and the next generation of kids coming online and figuring out their sexualities and identities. it used to be you just defined tropes, genders, gender identities, sexualities, and sexual acts in your tags and called it a day and that’s just… that. Now I’m finding this pattern reflected from old school anti-bi, anti-trans spaces; do not ship bi couples, they’re basically straight, even if one is trans, gender fluid, or enbi; shipping two hetero men is really just for basic straight women and is in and of itself an isolating act that ignores the needs of the queer community; ships that don’t include anyone who is trans show you have no imagination and that you are a disrespectful terf on the inside; ships that are monogamous are inherently Not That Gay, regardless of any identities or sexualities therein, because polyamory is the real pinnacle of queer evolution and something every queer person should aspire to. and I want to make it very clear that absolutely none of that is remotely true.

And it worries me that there’s this sliding scale of Nothing Being Gay Enough in fandom now. Like we’ve taken a good thing so far that now people don’t know how to enjoy it and still want that oldie but goodie gay-one-upmanship from the mid 2010s on tumblr: “I’m a better gay than you are, and I know that, because look at your tastes”. And I just hope that teens and folks in their early years of adulthood or early years of discovering their sexualities and identities know that none of that shit is real, and you are gay if you decide you’re gay, and it is not a ladder you have to climb, with monogamy, same sex relationships, and pan and bi identities on the bottom and only-trans cohabitational polyamory on the top. That is not how you support people, and it is not how you support yourself. what you’re saying is “my trans friend isn’t as trans as I am because I have two partners and he is monogamous”; “I’m a lesbian but im a better lesbian than my ex because her girlfriend is cis and mine is a butch demiboy”. This kind of shit is just an extension of the age old “you’re gay, but not that gay, because you’ve only slept with one person of the same sex, and I’ve slept with loads”.

You’re queer because you say you are, and the best way to be a queer ally to others is to not project your own self hatred upward and attempt to win an “uwu more oppresssed than u” battle online. The only person you’re fighting is yourself. It doesn’t make you less poly to read a fic with a monogamous ship. It doesn’t make you less gay to read a fic with a straight ship. It doesn’t make you less trans to read a fic where someone doesn’t have the same headcanon about a trans character as you do. your fandom preferences don’t affect your queer street cred, and it costs you nothing to ignore your friend’s ships instead of convincing yourself you’re better and gayer than they are. All that kind of attitude does is hurt you farther down the road. You’re not what you consume, and fic is for you, not for what you think will somehow make others online think you’re “gayer”.

(Sorry to bandwagon so extensively, op, this topic just concerns the hell out of me)

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[fandom-madness69]

(in reference to Markiplier's video "Endless Cycle of Death" on his FNAF playlist) One more time. One more time! On more tiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmeeeeeeee -jumpscare here-

Re-introduction Post

My name on the Internet is Avery, Aves, or Vid (I wish I still had proof of my nickname for this one especially after that one Hazbin episode title)

My pronouns are she/her/hers and I'm non conforming I also just identify as gay/queer because I just find grown adults really attractive okay xP (I have strong feelings about this and sometimes post about it so if you're a part of the LGBTQ2IA community then please just understand I've been here for 2 decades because I realized I liked men and women at 7 I shit you not, so I'm not baselessly running my mouth okay?)

I'm 27 and I have a kid, a husband, a boyfriend and someone I'm debating on giving a second chance (ethical non-monogamy)

I am relenting my minors DNI and DNF rule (hesitantly) but moving forward you will be able to find this banner at least at the top of every post (if not 2-3 times more plus a break in the post to give you time to scroll away) minors should not interact with

I'm mostly here for fandom stuff but there's only a handful I'll post about on here (I'll like and reblog from a bunch of stuff also DW you never have to worry about me reposting your stuff) because y'all might think this place is algorithmless but it's not

These are the few fandoms I'll post about consistently:

-PJO (obviously)

-Good Omens

-JJK (mostly smut. Like 95% smut)

-She-Ra (kinda only when I'm rewatching it)

There will be times I post about my plants (in case you were curious, the sunflowers all died 2/4 from my son, 1/4 from too many direct UVs from my lamp and 1/4 form not having enough space to dig its roots properly apparently they need like 6+ feet above and below ground. Who knew?) and that will only increase in frequency in about 2 months when I can reasonably start buckling down the resources for my garden.

I do have two side blogs but one wont have anymore post uploads unless I decide to pick another niche She-Ra moment to catalog for you guys. The second is on an indefinite hiatus because I don't have the time to do daily, let alone weekly, posts. They can be found here (fluff) and here (Hey Adora).

I also have other social media in case you want to follow me there too. I don't usually link them all to the same account because I just really have never liked the idea of everyone following me everywhere. Doesn't leave me any space to talk shit. I had a discord for my Tumblr but anything I post not fandom related goes like 99% ignored (shout-out to @/scrawlingwithstyle for always liking my personal posts you are amazing) so I won't try to set one of those up again for a while.

My personal tags are #vid speaks #vid rants and #vid's beef

| TikTok | Patreon |

[malleux]

spell [2]. | corpse husband

part one ; part three

-> Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

-> Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

-> Warnings: Hate Comments, Self Doubt, Anxiety, Cursing

-> A/N: thank you for 1k notes on part one! i’m so glad everyone likes my work. it’s really nice getting this much love after taking a hiatus on my fire emblem writing blog. i hope y’all enjoy it and stay on the lookout for part three!

corpse husband taglist is closed!

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since you joined Sean’s Among Us stream.

While that was your first public appearance, you had joined three others after that and already you were blowing up on almost every social media platform you had. The attention was kind of nice, you had to admit, but sometimes the anxiety of becoming a public figure weighed heavily on your shoulders.

During that time, you turned to your friends who were used to such scrutiny: Sean, Felix, and now Corpse, who you’ve been talking to every day for those two weeks.

It was another one of those nights where, at 1am, you were on Facetime with said man. His screen was dark, as usual. He hadn’t shown his face yet and you respected that. You didn’t need to see him to talk to him, or be his friend, or develop a slight crush on him. All of which you did.

The call was relatively silent on your end. Corpse was on Facetime with you, yes, but he was also on a call in Discord, once again playing Among Us.

You often wondered if playing that game was all your new friends did anymore.

You stayed quiet, letting Corpse play the game and avoiding his fans finding out about your call. You had college work to finish anyways, so the silence was rather helpful.

“We should ask Y/N if she wants to play. I wanna meet her.” Sykkuno’s voice rang out from the Discord call. He was right- you’d never met him. He and Corpse seemed extremely close, though, so you’d love to talk to him. A friend of your crush friend was a friend of yours.

“She’s busy tonight.” Corpse responded.

“Yeah, she’s got an exam coming up- wait, how do you know?” Sean joined in, questioning Corpse.

“Uh, I mean we’re on Facetime right now, I guess.” Your heart sped up- now his fans knew. “She’s studying. We’re just hanging out.”

“Didn’t you guys ‘hang out’ last night as well? It seems like you’re trying to take my best friend away from me.” Sean joked back.

“I mean, I definitely am.”

Your breath caught in your throat. What was that supposed to mean? Sean was obviously kidding, but the tone in Corpse’s voice wasn’t the one he used when he was joking as well.

Felix suddenly butted in. “Ooooh, I think Corpse-y has a little crush.”

“And if I do?”

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

꧁꧂

Three weeks, now, that you’ve been talking to Corpse daily.

One week since Corpse’s crush comment and one week that you’ve endured countless mentions and tags on Instagram and Twitter, constantly talking about #CorpseY/N.

You didn’t really mind the shipping, often losing yourself in daydreams about driving those two hours down from your apartment in Los Angeles down to San Diego and running into his arms. It didn’t help when he mentioned wanting you to come visit one day.

You just worried about how Corpse felt about them. He was still relatively new to blowing up on the internet as well, his fame suddenly skyrocketing in the past few months, so you weren’t sure if he was comfortable with them. You didn’t want to bring it up, either, fearing that the discussion would make things awkward between the two of you.

For now, you were rather content with just scrolling through the #CorpseY/N hashtag, looking at the pictures and nice things people had to say about you both.

“they’re so cute when they talk to each other, you can just tell Corpse meant it when he said he was trying to steal Y/N away.”

“#CorpseY/N is my new favorite thing. Everyone shut up this is all I’ll be talking about from now on.”

“God why can’t they just be together already? #CorpseY/N”

Everyone was so supportive and sweet, it almost made you feel like you already were Corpse’s girlfriend. Although your heart hurt when you were brought back to reality, you couldn’t help but love the comments that everyone left. They were amazing.

Until they weren’t.

There are always two sides of the same coin. Along from the supporters and their loving actions, there were also those who seethed at the idea of you and Corpse.

They scrutinized everything about you to the point that you made your Instagram account- already with 30k followers- private.

Haters talked about you. Your body, your personality, how you weren’t worthy to even talk to Corpse and the rest of the Youtubers, and so much more. You’ve spent many nights with your Facetime mic muted so that Corpse couldn’t hear the small sobs coming from you.

These thoughts were almost always on the back of your mind, but you were sometimes able to push them away.

Like now- as you focused on your exam. Well, tried to focus. There comes to be a time where one can only hear so many negative things about themselves before they can’t ignore it anymore.

But alas, you tried your hardest and finished your exam, before walking out of the room and pulling out your phone. Now, you had a break before your new classes started and you’ve never been more relieved. You pulled up a certain contact and clicked on the message icon, beginning to type.

you:

i’m finished! up next, a break.

corpse:

I hope you did well. How long is your break?

you:

two weeks!

corpse:

Come spend it in San Diego

You stopped in your tracks, taken aback by the offer. You really didn’t think that he’d invite you over, but you weren’t about to complain. Instead, you sent back an ‘I’ll pack tonight :)’ and rushed home to do just that.

Corpse called you as you packed, just like he calls every night. You were used to the routine now, often falling asleep around 3am as he stays on the phone, doing whatever he does with his ruined sleep schedule until you wake up and say good morning.

Tonight, however, you were too jittery to sleep. You stayed up all night with Corpse, talking about anything and everything, like usual.

What wasn’t usual, though, was how distracted he sounded. It made you nervous- was he having second thoughts about inviting you over? Was something wrong?

Your thoughts nearly overwhelmed you, forcing you to say something.

“Are you okay, Corpse?” You tried to hide the small shake in your voice.

“Hm? Uh, yeah, yeah, everything’s good. Why?”

“It doesn’t sound like it. What’s going on? You’re acting off.”

His side of the phone was silent for a moment, before he let out a sigh. “I’m just thinking about what I’ve got to do before you get here tomorrow. Like, cleaning and stuff.”

“Pshh, that doesn’t matter to me.” You waved your hand, even though he couldn’t see it in the darkness of your room.

“It’s just that, my apartment isn’t… the best. It’s small and there’s only one bedroom and it’s kind of shitty. I just don’t want it to be even more shitty.”

“Corpse, I’m coming there to spend time with you, not your apartment. I don’t care what any of that shit looks like. I’m going to be looking at you and hanging out with you. Not your apartment.” You didn’t mean to go on a tangent of reassurance, but you truly meant all of your words. “Hell, I might not even see the apartment because I already know I won’t be able to look away from you.”

“I- God, give me a minute. That took me off guard.” He laughed. “But thank you. I may not even be able to clean because I’ll be distracted too.”

“By what?”

“You, standing in front of me, in person.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “That’s a fucking dream come true.”

┎┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┒

taglist: @namjoons-crabssss @lookingforaplacetosleep @teenloves @princess00wifi @pillowjj @nvm-idgaf @creativedogs @wildflowerwhore @chillininahottub-withaghost @whyisquill @holosexualunicorn7000 @ourheavenlyemotions

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[cjoatprehn]

“Sacral Imposter” by CJOAT

Written on June 2, 2024 at 12:08AM

⚠️ This is not directed at anyone. This is just a load ton of steam that popped yesterday night so I needed to transmute and channel it in writing. ⚠️

This is a late night vent poem. It’s okay to comment or react to it. I welcome it.

Description in alt text.

PEM/CJOAT Houseless Chronicles

Got no food as I slept through hotel breakfast but…I’m still unfortunately broke from hotel bs. If you’re international, I do have Wise (Transferwise); if you wish to assist outside of sharing and interacting with emotes and such.

I tried to extend my stay past June 1st, and I had enough to extend my stay for 2 nights. But due to an mis-input by hotel youth staff my debit account has been charged several times for just extending my stay for 2 extra nights. Now the manager is trying to help me out and resolve this. But—I can’t run errands without cash. I knew when I woke up I wasn’t going to be able to just leave on June 1st. Someone from ​⁠just called me to meet up; so, I saved the number; and I will update on that front. We just scheduled for June 3rd. Laundry has been an ongoing issue due to my houselessness. I’ve been bedbound myself with my cane for this time.

I have thought about a loan, but because I’ve used debit my entire life, no creditors or loaners will loan to me. I don’t have any plans to use credit due to how I know my impulsive trait is. I’m not bound up in the negatives, thankfully, I had my debit cards decline anything that exceeds my balance…the notifications still stress me out. However it did try to put a bunch of pending transactions on my checking account. Due to the fact that ​⁠ requires me to send a change of address, and sends a confirmation and activation code to the address you’re moving from. I have no access to my mailing address now. Even now, I am still awaiting word for anything having been worked out.

So, I suspect some fuckshit will arise; so I really need your help. Please support me through here. During this process. I was able to book a hotel through ​⁠​⁠ for 3 nights. But that was $329.87 + $43 for early check-in. And I need this location to stay while im getting help with housing and social work—so anything you send helps, especially when im able to add another day to my stay here. My monthly income came and it is $943; and SSA will dock you lower, if you’re houseless. I’m now down to around to around $15. Anything helps at this point.

I had a mental breakdown last night/early May 29, 2024. To where I was begging my deities to take me out in my sleep; and I’m grateful they didn’t; but it’s still the fact I was trapped in that state of mind. This morning, May 31st, 2024, had me in a panic. I’m still on edge, I’m hoping things work out.

Share these?

I payed https://www.roomies.com for featuring, verification, background check, and credit checks. Those should appear on my Roomies profile soon, I have until June 1st; I’m losing spoons while typing this. This is what’s going on. I’m not gonna be on ​⁠​⁠​⁠ for as long as I can. Because I don’t want to be on ​⁠​⁠ again but my situation didn’t allow me to honor my limits with ​⁠​⁠​⁠. If you’d like to help me out, engage with it…buttons, copy link, like, comment, the works…it would mean a lot. Engagement really assists on both ​⁠​⁠Tiktok and ​⁠​⁠​⁠YouTube.

I hate to tag yall again, happy pride month-if you’re able to share this and interact in any way to the videos and posts above, that would mean a lot. Or even drop a dollar, it would do wonders to help me extend my hotel stay past Monday.

@strawbunnycakes @gearthepunk @dukemz-rb @essjayel999 @fuckyeahasexual @disloyalseagull @afroclusterfunk

[asktherejectsau]

🍊🎱 Exclusive interview with co-producer and songwriter of The Rejects, and former Gorillaz lead singer — Stuart “2-D” Pot 🎱🍊

Interviewer: Hi, 2-D. How‘ve you been holding up?

2-D: Mmm, alright now I think.

I: Oh, did something happen earlier?

2-D: Yeah, I was feeling a little peeved today since I spilled some raspberry tea on my good pair of pants this morning. They were pretty fancy too. Wish you could’ve seen ’em. They had these little hearts and stuff on ’em and they were really cute.

I: Oh. Well, uh, I’m sorry that happened—

2-D: I managed to throw ’em in the wash today. Hopefully, it’ll come out. But then I remembered my second best pair of pants, so I’m feeling pretty swell now. Plus I got some new tea to replace the one that was in my last cup. [sips from new coffee cup and sighs happily] This one’s jasmine tea. It’s really good. You wanna try some?

I: I-I’m good, thank you. Anyway, shall we—?

2-D: Oh, almost forgot. These are my new baggy flannel pants. I got ’em from a thrift store out in Holland one time and—

I: [clears throat]

2-D: O-Oh, right. The interview. [hums awkwardly while twiddling his thumbs] Sorry, I haven’t done one of these in a while.

I: It’s okay. We just need to get a move on. So, 2-D, aside from today, how have things been? You’ve been awfully quiet over the past few months since your departure from Gorillaz.

2-D: Yeah… I’ve been trying to avoid talking on social media for a while since I’ve left. Although, I dunno if I’d call it leaving but more, like, taking a break. I’ve just been trying to find out who I really am, yeah? I realized through working on The Now Now that I want to do something more than just Gorillaz my whole life. I wanna grow and change and develop something for myself. Like the potato that’s currently sprouting on my windowsill at the moment. His name is George. Him aside, I feel like I’ve been stuck in one place for while. Just stagnant, unmoving. That’s why I stopped using social media all together and so far it’s been such a weight off my mind. Same thing with Gorillaz. It’s not that I’m unhappy from all my time with Gorillaz, their like… my blood, ya know? My family. But… I dunno. It’s… [fidgets in seat] It’s like when you eat the same meal everyday for a few months and then you start thinking, “This isn’t really working for me like it used to. It still tastes good but now I want something different.” I think me being with The Rejects is what’s gonna help me find, err… well… “me” right now. I’m not gonna be gone from Gorillaz forever but I just need something different, keep things fresh.

(Picture of 2-D with Gorillaz in late 2018)

I: Hmm… I see. Speaking of your former bandmates, do you still keep in touch with them even with your hiatus?

2-D: Oh yeah, loads. I try to talk with ‘em every chance I get. Just last week, Noodle and I FaceTimed each other and she showed me Katsu patting Russel’s stomach with her paws, like she was making a loaf of bread off of him for ten minutes while he laid asleep on the couch. It was amusing for the first five minutes, then it became a betting match to see how long she’d do that before he woke up.

I: What about Murdoc? Any updates from him?

2-D: [taps his coffee cup uncomfortably] He’s fine, p-probably… Um, what’s the next question?

I: Oh, sorry. Err… How did you first meet the Rejects?

2-D: Well, I already knew most of them from the get go. That being Ace and Cyb — I mean, Cynthia. Still gotta get used to that… Uh, the only person I hadn’t met before was Lenny. All I can really say about him is that he’s a really chill guy. Very sociable and surprisingly, a lot younger than I was expecting. He like Phil Collins and the Blue Men Group into one, he’s pretty great. As for how we all came together, it wasn’t too long after I began my hiatus actually. I think it was like, I dunno, two weeks after I took off? I stayed at a Marriott in LA for a bit and one day I came into this gas station to grab a couple snacks for the ride out to Ottawa ‘til I heard somebody shout out my name. I got kinda scared at first ‘cause, well, [runs a hand through his hair] the reason why I got this shaved cut was so I couldn’t be recognized as easily. Besides, last time I visited LA, I blended in pretty well. Well as long as you looked at me from behind, that is. [humming laughter] But then I saw it was Ace calling out for me. I was so stoked to see him again. We talked for a bit, hung out at his place, had a few drinks, I tried weed brownies for the first time and uh… I ended up spending the night with him. Then I found out that Cynthia was his roommate after she hit me head with one of her cables to wake me up from the floor. I was quite surprised to see her, I mean, by what Murdoc told me, I thought she was gone. Like poof! Gone like my socks in the dryer. But, y’know… I was happy to see her. Really, I was. That might sound weird to you, and… I-I’m assuming you already know what happened to me on that beach. [laughs awkwardly] But I was real worried ‘bout what could’ve happened to her. I know she wasn’t like the original Noods and she went kind of coocoo after getting that bullet through the head, but I don’t think what happened to me was her fault. I think we’re both victims really and it wouldn’t have been right for me to hold any ill will towards now her when… i-it wasn’t her choice to do the things she did. At least, I don’t think it was. But, um, anyway… I ended up crashing at Ace’s place for longer than I would’ve liked but after a bit, me and Cynthia reconciled, she introduced me to her band and the new stuff she was working on and from there I’ve been hooked.

I: Wow, that’s… oddly very touching. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us.

2-D: Um yeah. I dunno what I did but, no problem?

I: That being said, when talking about self-discovery, I also I hear you talking about Ace a lot. Some fans are wondering, are the two of you perhaps “involved?”

2-D: What do you mean?

I: Are you dating?

2-D: Oh! Y-Yeah, you can say that… [giggles]

I: Oh wow! Good for you. How long have you guys been together?

2-D: I’d say… four? I: Four what? 2-D: Yes. I: No, uh… have you two been together for four days? Months? 2-D: No, I’d say we’ve been dating for five months now.

I: I… Okay, how or when did you both decide to—?

2-D: It was a bit spontaneous. Well, kind of… [hums softly] See, we really hit it off when he joined Gorillaz back in 2018 but I was still figuring myself out back then so I waited until I was sure and now… uh, we decided that now it was probably the right time. [chuckles] It’s funny, yeah? I’ve never felt so happy before. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever fallen this hard for someone in a really long time. Well, except for that one lady that turned out to be a coat rack, but I think I just really needed new contacts. I used to be so scared of what would happen to me once I came out but y’know, I’m glad that I get to live in a time where people can feel free to love who they want without fear. Only determination to love and be themselves with their whole chest. There’s still a whole lot of work to do but I say it’s better for everyone if we keep moving forward. Going backwards doesn’t help anyone improve. Anyway, I also got to say, it’s very refreshing to have someone that truly loves and respects you for the way you are; all flaws included, no strings attached… [sighs] I think it’s safe to say I’m in complete bliss.

(Picture of 2-D and Ace in Little Tokyo, Townsville)

I: How would you describe Ace as a partner?

2-D: Umm… not much has changed between us since we’ve started dating actually. He’s a bit more clingy than he used to be, but I mean that in a good way. Anytime I’m sitting down doing something, he’ll wrap his arms around me and ask what I’m doing, or he’ll give me a peck on the head whenever he brings me a cup of tea… He’s a teddy bear, really. Very physically affectionate, always gentle with his movements, and has surprisingly soft, supple hands. Oh, oh! [moves in his seat excitedly] I found out he likes doing this thing whenever we’re out in public. Recently we’ve been doing these little play fights. Usually he’ll make this little karate chop motion against my neck or my arms, and then I push it away and soon we’ll start this war with our arms, hands, and sometimes feet just blocking each other’s moves while making our own sound effects like it’s our own kind of action movie. That happened one time while we were ordering food at the plaza last week and this time I won by grabbing his wrists and pulling him towards me so I could kiss his forehead and oh my god, he was such a mess! [laughs] H-He wouldn’t even look at me without acting like he was gonna melt. [snorts] Ugh, you should’ve seen him! It was so adorable. Almost acted like a toddler, all giggly and following me about whenever I moved. He practically clung onto me the entire night afterwards.

I: Ah, the honeymoon phase… Well, we could go on about your relationship with Ace but we need to get back on track. Tell us, what’s it like not being the lead vocalist for once?

2-D: Again, pretty refreshing. I get to work more on my skills as a producer and making music that I’m proud of. I feel like a little kid playing keyboards with my dad again with all this new equipment we’ve got now. Been working on some pretty banger stuff with the band so far and I can’t wait for people to hear it some time soon.

I: What are you most excited for people to listen to?

2-D: Well we are coming out with an EP at some point this year but before that comes out, we did put out a single. It’s one of the first songs I worked on with the Rejects and it’s called “LOVEBUG!!” It’s definitely more of an experimental track, especially compared to both me and the band’s past work, but I loved messing around with all of the soft synths and 808s in this one. Lenny absolutely crushed it with the drums and I think it suits Cynthia’s voice really well! Although, the more I think about it, I sometimes think she sounds a lot like someone else I’ve heard lately. Well, either way, I just hope people end up liking the song just as much as I did making it. [hums happily]

(LOVEBUG!! Promo Cover)

I: Good to know. How would you describe your experience working with the Rejects so far?

2-D: Quite tame. We all tend to be quite amicable with one another and we don’t fight as much compared to when I would record back at Kong. We really let our ideas bounce off each other like ping pong balls and when one of us comes up with a good line or segment, we all get excited. I haven’t felt like that before. That’s not to say I didn’t have that same feeling with Gorillaz before I took a break but the energy between us and the energy I get when working with the Rejects isn’t really up for comparison, y’know what I mean? Gorillaz is, uh… more of a family dynamic. A chaotic one but a found family, right? Whereas with the Rejects, we don’t see each other as collaborators but as a group of friends and I think that’s a neat little thing we made for ourselves. When dealing with the high that comes from being famous, everything around you just happens all at once and soon you forget what it’s like to breathe. I’ve been stuck in that world for 22 years, but after taking this break and later joining the Rejects, I’ve learned how to appreciate the little things again and I’m excited to see what life has to offer me.

I: How would you describe your current bandmates?

2-D: Cynthia is quite the natural born leader and she seems to really know her stuff. She can be a bit stubborn at times whenever we start composing things but she hasn’t done anything too extreme. I think that just shows more of her fiery personality. Not too surprising, given who made her but already I can tell you, she’s much better than that old sod. At least she actually treats me like a person and doesn’t try to… S-Sorry, I’m going too off topic, aren’t I? [clears throat] Um… Where was I again? Ah, right. Bandmates, yeah... Cynthia, to me is, uh, very determined and always willing to tackle a lots of ideas at once. She’s a perfectionist for sure but sometimes, I worry about her short circuiting with how much time she spends writing one song. You already know how I feel about Ace but Lenny on the other hand is quite the interesting guy. Reminds me of Russel in some ways but I wish I could understand him more. I don’t know sign language so we just write and text stuff to one another. Apparently he likes painting and sculpting things out of clay so one time I tried to make him something but I think I ended up making a creature that looks like it wants to die but Lenny still keeps it on his shelf so I guess it’s not too bad.

I: Alright, I think that’s all the time we have for today. Do you have anything else to say before we go?

2-D: Um, yeah, uh… do you know where the nearest toilet is? I’ve been holding it in since I got here.

I: I… [sighs] It should be on the 2nd floor to your right.

2-D: Cool, thanks. [gets up to leave before nearly tripping over his untied shoelaces]

I: Your shoes are untied.

2-D: [in the distance] I don’t know how to tie them!

I: Err… Well, stay tuned until next time where we interview the Rejects’ bassist, Ace D. Copular and talk about his journey from reality TV actor to aspiring musician.