#okay gonna head to bed noe

[koszmarnybudyn]

So anyone want a rant about my thoughts about the teens looking diffrent now than they did at the start? Well top bad you're getting one anyway. (Or good, depanding on your reaction)

Heads up this will probablly be incohereant. So i like to imagine Scary looking more and more like she did as terry now, like her hair grew out so she pushes her bangs out of her face more, wears more sporty clothes, and wears a ponytail more aften, her bangs used to be pink/red at the start but now she dyed them purple/a blueish color, she fights a bit more soccer like etc. She also has a scar on her wrist from that time it was cut off, and her hook earring is gone, replaced with one that belonged to terry jr or something.

Taylor dyed the tips of his hair blue, he looks more ninja like now since becoming a rougue, he has a diffrent sword, and a scar at his neck. His cane also has new stickers on it (one from each of the teens, a sdh sticker from norm, a garfield from link, a band one from scary, and maybe a death note musical one or something from hermie. His hair is also slightly longer so sometimes he puts it half up, and his porkpie hat is a diffrent one.

Normal constantly loses his clothes thrugh out the season, so they end up always being borrowed, never quite fitting right, right now i feel like he's wearing Henrys clothes, hes always wearing his own shoes tho, the one last thing keeping him himself, he still has that love/san dimas blue/teal but now there are more red (for anger) purple (for balance) and green (oak color) elements. His hair is longer than when he started, and he has eyebags now.

Link looks older, he doesn't look worried anymore, just..indiffrent, he isnt a boy anymore, hes a man, his shoulders are broader, his hair isnt as short or neat anymore, he has eyebags, he has scars (on both his legs from the soccer game, a larger one like a starburst on his back, and a nick on his eyebrow), hes always wearing his shin guards now, ready for battle, and i feel like he wears a backpack now (easier for battle than a gym bag) and a hoodie more aften (givving us grant vibes), hes gained muscle and he has a completly diffrent posture.

[hojiteaversion]

Head Fast Toward The Light (Please)

(leo x laia | 669 words | domestic fluff, pregnancy | on ao3)

"Sweetheart," Laia gently tells her very, very big belly, "It's okay to come out, you know? There are so many cool things out there. Remember the book we read you yesterday? Wasn't it neat? There are many other books here waiting for you. Doesn't that sound great?"

Her baby is unmoved. Laia squirms on the bed, reaching behind her to try to fluff her pillow a bit. Her back, which has been aching for God knows how long, flares up in protest, and she groans a bit.

"I'll take you to Disneyland," she pleads. "We'll get a 3-day pass. I'll personally introduce you to all the cool princes and princesses. How does that sound?"

Her child doesn't even kick in excitement. It figures her baby is a DreamWorks kid — of course they would have taken after their dad.

"I know it's nice and warm in there, but imagine being nice and warm here and allowing your dear mommy to sleep a full, painless night? Doesn't that sound great?"

It's a gamble, of course. Laia had done her reading, and so she knows the discomfort at 37 weeks is practice for the amount of sleep she would not be getting for the foreseeable future. But maybe, if she plants the idea in her baby's head, her kid will miraculously sleep full nights at one month old.

"Darling?" Leo calls. Laia's head snaps up.

Her husband is leaning against the doorway of their room, arms crossed and smile delighted as he catches her in the act. His shirt has a few wet splotches from the dishes he just washed, and he should just take it off entirely, in Laia's honest opinion.

"Are you, by any chance, bribing our unborn child?"

"Me? No. No, I was just, you know..." She absentmindedly caresses her bump. "Telling them about all the amazing things the outside world has to offer. And that we could incidentally take them to ASAP if they would just... come out. Whenever it happens, I'm not in a hurry."

Leo nods, all knowing. Then he steps into the room and falls beside her on the bed with a smile. They quickly find the position that has worked best these past few days, with his head on her shoulder, one arm around her back, and his free hand on hers, over her bump.

"Because," Leo says, "If you were to bribe our child, Disney World is ten times better. And I would even add Legoland to the mix," he tells their baby, melodically. It never fails to move her how great he's gonna be with their children. "Cause you're a super cool baby and Legoland is the coolest place."

"It is," Laia adds, pretending she knows what Legoland is. "And, uh... Oh! We can also take you to The Nutcracker. Trust me, sweetheart, you haven't lived until you see your Uncle Vlad cry over The Waltz of the Flowers."

Leo laughs, draws something on her bump. Laia has the impression it's a sun and a swallow, and she smiles, warm. "Not that he won't cry every time he holds you."

"Remember Uncle Vlad, sweetheart?" Laia asks their baby. "He's the one with all those pretty Romanian poems. He can't wait to meet you. He waited, like, 600 years for this."

"And your Aunt Sandra has bought so many clothes for you," Leo complements. "She's really excited too. Aunt Millie and Aunt Cathy have your next ten birthday parties planned. Your Uncle Noe has made your crib... We just can't wait to meet you."

Laia sighs. "But it's okay if you need some time." She caresses her bump in what she hopes is a soothing manner. Ignores the pain on her back. "I know Breaking Dawn Part I scared you."

Leo snorts. It's been an old joke between them ever since they rewatched that series months ago, when her bump was just starting to show. She can't wait to let their kid in on the joke, once they're grown. Laia thinks they might laugh too.

Or they might find her, what was the word? Cringe? Oh God, would she be an uncool parent?

Well, that was for their kid to decide.

Hopefully soon.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi ari!! i was wondering, do you listening to hozier at all? (i have a feeling you do for some reason but i desperately need to be sure)

anyways i just listened to the new songs and i feel like 'too sweet' is sooo suguru coded... although tbh every single hozier song i listen to belongs to him in my head. do you have some thoughts to spare? <3

HI THEREEE NOE <333 it’s funny that you mention him bc. i’ve been meaning to get into his music!! so far i’ve only listened to like one or two of his songs though 😭 so. yk!! i have a long way to go!!!!

BUTTT TYSM FOR THE REC i just listened to it and i literally love it SO much what a banger….. the instrumental goes so hard and his voice????? insane. the chorus is stuck in my head… don’t even get me started on the lyrics bc they’re so good and they really ARE so sugucoded 😭😭 like!!!!

baby, i can never tell // how do you sleep so well? // you keep tellin' me to live right // to go to bed before the daylight

don’t you just wanna wake up // dark as a lake // smellin' like a bonfire // lost in a haze? // if you're drunk on life, babe // i think it's great // but while in this world

i think i’ll take my whiskey neat // my coffee black and my bed at three // you’re too sweet for me

you know you're bright as the morning // as soft as the rain // pretty as a vine // as sweet as a grape // if you can sit in a barrel // maybe i’ll wait

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 GOD . okay so the first thing that popped into my head was third year sugu…. during his spiral….. when the darkness in his head is growing and you’re still as sweet as ever. and it almost hurts him just to be around you because you really are just too sweet…. too good to him…. to good for him. ”how do you sleep so well? you keep tellin’ me to live right. to go to bed before the daylight”…. :((((( i think he would isolate himself from you because he just doesn’t think you could understand. you’re bright as the morning and soft as the rain and all he can feel is darkness and haze and bonfires…… ”if you’re drunk on life, babe, i think it’s great. but while in this world….” <- THIS specific lyrics made me the most insane i think. it’s Him.

noe your brain is so big now i NEED to listen to more hozier songs 😭😭😭 i genuinely adore this one wowow. the lyrics r gonna be stuck in my head now….. i appreciate you sm 🙏🙏 would LOVE any other hozier recs you have btw…. if you feel like sharing then you know where to find me 👀

[moosekateer13]

Ready For It?

For @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad

Warnings: Smut

Summary: it's Noe's birthday so Jen takes her to a special club that manifests your greatest fantasy. She's going to have one hell of a celebration.

Inspired by Taylor Swift's Reputation.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby (mmm)

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I'll take my time

Are you ready for it?

Why the hell did I let Jen talk me into this?

Club Dreamscape where your fantasies come true.

"Come on, don't be so hesitant, trust me you'll love it," Jen reassured me.

She hands our passes to the bouncer. I can hear Taylor Swift’s Ready for it play as we enter.

After walking through the purple fog I reach the first door, and Jen has disappeared. Probably off to her to live out her fantasies.

I reluctantly opened the first door.

My God the sight before me Soulless Sam in nothing but leather pants and covered in glitter.

" Someone told me it's your birthday sweetheart." Soulless Sam said.

I try to pick up my jaw off the floor as he gives me a magic mike-like show. The way he glistens from the glitter and sweat. Makes me feel overheated. A good thing this room is air-conditioned. Otherwise, I'd just be a puddle.

“Okay, sadly our time is over, don't worry you've got 4 more waiting for you.” Soulless Sam said before climbing off the stage to give me a heated kiss.

He lets go, and then I make my way to the next door.

Sam Winchester the original version in all his glory. Dressed in traditional plaid and denim.

"Hey Noe it's my turn with you know baby," Sam said with a smirk.

We roughly strip each other's clothes off and he unceremoniously tosses me on the bed. He thoroughly kisses me, marks me and fills me. I probably won't be able to walk straight.  

Losing track of time I only know it's over when he lets go.

Sam helps me redress.

" I enjoyed our time together baby but I've got to let you go now," Sam said before placing a kiss on my cheek.

We part ways and I make my way to the next door.

Dean Forester in casual clothes with his Doose's Market Apron.

"Some said you asked for grocery delivery,” Dean said.

I silently lick my lips at the sight of him in that apron.

I tug him by the apron and gently kiss him. Dean's kisses grow urgent as he pushes me onto the bed. 

He slowly kneaded my body with his hands as he worked to take off my dress. Dean plays with my body like it's his instrument. 

The session is brief just like the others. I head out the door after we redress and share another kiss.

The next door leads me to Cordell.

Freshly off from his duties and in his ranger uniform.

I try to pick my jaw off the floor. As the pants do nothing to hide the bulge growing in his pants, he tosses his hat on the floor and then undresses before sitting in the bed.

 He gestures for me to sit on his lap.

I happily oblige.

He shakes his hand under my black cotton dress and rips off my underwear. Then carefully takes my dress and bra off.

“Baby girl, get ready for the ride of your life”'' Cordell said as he pushed me onto him.

He continuously kisses me.

In perfect rhythm, I feel myself coming.

Before I know our times are over.

"That was an amazing ride baby girl. Cordell said against my lips. After we part, he picks up his hat and puts it on my head.

I quickly redress before I leave with the biggest smile on my face at the gesture. 

The last door opens by itself and it's Jared. His multi-spectrum hazel eyes bore into my eyes. Before he picks me up and carries me over the threshold into a honeymoon sweet.

“Darlin it’s our wedding night let me worship you,” Jared whispered.

He carefully sets me down on my feet, and we slowly undress each other.

Slow passionate lovemaking makes such a contrast to the time I’ve spent with others.

Before I know it, our time is over.

“There’s a spa down the haul go treat yourself,” Jared said before kissing me lightly.

Once again I redress.

It’s so sweet he is always concerned about aftercare. I wouldn’t expect anything less of him.

I head out the door and make my way to the spa.

Finally, I see Jen sitting there getting a pedicure with a Dr. Pepper.

The red dress she has been wearing is slightly rumpled. Jen’s also wearing a flower diamond ring on her left hand. It looks new she wasn’t it earlier.

“I see someone had fun, and you got a few souvenirs too,” Jen said with a smirk.

She gestures to the cowboy hat in my hand and the diamond, citrine and topaz wedding ring on my finger. That I didn’t notice I had been carrying/ wearing till she pointed it out. 

“Okay, Jen you were right. I had the time of my life.” I replied reluctantly.

I plop down in the recliner beside her.

“Oh, I know the way your eyes are all lit up, Don’t worry we’ll come here again soon,” Jen said as she patted my arm.

Even though I was reluctant at first, but I look forward to coming here again. After I love being any version of Jared's strong arms. Those multi-spectrum eyes of his I could get lost in them forever.

Baby, let the games begin

Let the games begin

Let the games begin

Are you ready for it?

[friskibitz]

Request with Noelle?

5. Request

"How do I look?"

Noelle does a little twirl in the middle of the room. She's wearing a white dress with a pleated skirt, a baby blue sash around her waist, and a sky blue cardigan.

"Hm." Kris stands in front of her with one arm crossed and the other propped up to put their hand on their chin. They look up and down over her outfit. "Hmm..."

Suddenly, their demeanor changes; they straighten up, and a sunny expression lights up their face. The new presence puts two thumbs up. "You look great, Noelle!" Frisk replies in a chipper tone. "Don't listen to Kris."

Kris loosens up as they take over again. "Don't listen to Red. I still think the suit is better."

Noelle pouts and crosses her arms. She looks over to Kris's bed, where a bright red suit lies. "Hm. Are you sure about that."

Kris grins. "Yeah, c'mon, it'll look-"

They straighten up again. "Don't listen to them," Frisk says. "They straight up got that idea from Sp-"

Kris shakes their head. "Shut up. Come on, Noe, think." They make a big show of tapping the side of their head. "Who are you gonna listen to, your lifelong bestie, or the random nine-year-old? In any case, you requested my help, not theirs."

Noelle narrows her eyes. "Okay, fine. I'll..."

-----

Susie is at a loss for words. "I-I... Noelle.... you look....."

"Hehe!" Noelle bashfully smiles and puts a lock of her hair behind her ear. "H-How do I look?"

Susie grins and pulls Noelle into a hug. "Damn beautiful! That dress looks fuckin' great on you!" She puts Noelle down, and the two of them hold hands and smile at each other.

Susie looks over her shoulder behind her. "Yo, you coming or what?"

"Coming, coming..." Kris huffs, quickly pulling on their boots and jogging outside. "Let's go."

The three of them begin happily walking down the road.

"God, Gingerbread," Susie says, smiling at Noelle. "You really do look great..."

"Well, I had help, to be honest!" Noelle says. "It was all thanks to-"

"ME! It was me," Kris pipes up. They quickly shove one of their hands into their jacket pocket. A suspiciously desperate red glow flashes from it.

Noelle snickers. "Yeah, sure. Let's go with that."

[sparkles-and-trash]

Okay so I just finished the last writing for dabihawks week, and right noe I have something for every day except 6!

I still hope I’ll be able to whip something up, but no promises!

Now I’m gonna go finish packing and head to bed, and then tomorrow morning I’m heading for Greece! ☀️🌊

I’ll be posting all the Dabihawks content here, and on Twitter, as well as the art over on insta, sooo, see y’all for that <3

[kingofhearts709]

Bill and Ted do a scary movie marathon but then cant sleep

hello yes its no surprise that my first thought was nightmare on elm street so we're going with a 5 movie marathon of THAT up to the 1989 film HAHA 🤙 hope you enjoy!!

A/N: there are some very vague spoilers for the nightmare on elm street series (i mean like VAGUE) and also uhh small warning for like mentions of the slashing in the films?? its NOES i mean 🤷

this came out very kinda cute and idk if that's what you wanted but it's what my brain created 🎸

---

Bill and Ted have never done very well with especially scary movies.

Of course, they could handle one by itself, so long as it's followed up by something else lighthearted and definitely not The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

However, the newest A Nightmare On Elm Street was supposed to be coming out soon, and it was Bill's brightest of ideas that they marathon the first five in preparation for the plotline. The last thing Bill remembered happening, vaguely, is an unborn baby and something about a nun. Ted hardly remembered the first one.

Hence, the marathon.

"Dude, we're totally gonna dominate this horror marathon," Bill said as he started busting out the VHS box set, laying them side by side so he wouldn't forget what order they had to watch them in. "I highly doubt that we, as mature adults of modern society, will cower in the face of Freddy Krueger." Bill looked up to see Ted's face scrunched with pension, and immediately started to back away from the whole thing entirely, putting the first movie back down.

"I just...," Ted huffed where he was slumped on their couch, and whipped his head up to look at Bill. "Remember when we saw the first one in the theatre and screamed so loud that the attendant dude had to escort us out?"

"Yeah..." Bill remembered the memory well. They totally missed out on the ending of that movie the first time. Bill shook his head, "But Ted, that was, like, seven years ago. We've totally grown up! I'm sure that it'll be a most excellent experience."

Ted could hear the hope in Bill's voice, so he gave a small huff and a firm, brave nod for Bill to put the tape in. Bill pumped his fist as he inserted the tape, jumping back up onto the couch next to Ted and nearly knocking their popcorn bowl over. Bill suggested they start the marathon around five, considering they were about to embark upon nearly eight hours of monster movie magic. The two had already spent the afternoon together making sure they had easy meals for when they got hungry later.

Ted had almost wished they didn't need the marathon as an excuse to do so, but of course, it was quickly a thought to be pushed to the back of his head.

The opening sequence of the first film began, and soon enough, both Bill's and Ted's eyes were laser-trained on the small TV, Ted giving a jump at any scare and Bill giving a gasp at any gore.

They managed okay through the first one. "The first one's never the scariest, dude," Bill said with forced confidence, though Ted could clearly see him shivering as he set up the next tape. He was shivering too, and he kind of wished Bill would sit closer to him, just to make sure he was actually there, and it all wasn't a dream where Freddy was about to slash open his insides at the last second.

They pushed their way through the second and the third without moving from the couch, and Ted finally chanced a glance over at Bill as soon as the credits started rolling.

Bill was visibly shaking, in a way that made Ted wonder if he was having some sort of horror-induced seizure.

"Dude," Ted said quietly, and Bill blinked as he let out a deep breath and looked over at Ted. "Are you okay?" Bill swallowed as he nodded.

"I'm totally cool, duder," he said assuredly, though his face didn't say the same. "Uh... Snack break?"

"Yeah, dude, definitely." Ted looked up and over at their wall clock to see it was almost ten at night, and they hadn't eaten a single mouthful of anything since their popcorn. "I'm egregiously starved."

Bill nodded as he stood up before stopping completely in his tracks.

"Dude," he said, quiet. "I have a most terrible feeling." Ted swallowed thickly as he watched Bill turn away.

"Dude, whatever joke you're about to pull, I swear, I'll punch you," Ted warned immediately. "Don't."

"Dude, it isn't a joke, I think-" Bill suddenly whipped his body around towards Ted and Ted let out a loud scream as he cowered away from Bill's figure. Bill let out a relieved sigh and Ted slowly uncovered his face to see Bill rubbing at his back. "I twisted my back, dude."

"Oh," Ted breathed out. He shook his head, "Dude, I totally thought you were about to Krueger me." Bill looked at him for a long moment before he started to laugh, and Ted couldn't help but join in.

The thought was so ridiculous, of course, but Ted could never be too sure with the things he'd experienced in life.

"C'mon, Ted, let's eat dinner," Bill huffed as he stretched out a little more before heading to the kitchen to heat up their pre-made spaghetti. Bill returned five minutes later with two bowls of noodles and two forks, passing one into Ted's lap and setting the other on top of the TV before reaching for the next tape.

"Bill, dude, already?" Ted said as Bill slid out the tape and inserted the next (he'd have to remind himself to rewind them all later the next day).

"Ted, the sooner we get through them, the sooner we can be done," Bill reasoned as the fourth movie began, grabbing his bowl and sliding back onto the couch, this time within Ted's immediate reach. Whether or not it was intentional was beyond either of them.

"You make it sound heinous," Ted mumbled, though his eyes were already studying the screen with apt attention.

"Sometimes, my friend, you have to suffer to enjoy masterpieces," Bill mumbled back, mindlessly twirling his spaghetti in the bowl without picking it up.

The fourth movie ended more abruptly than either of them expected, with only half of each of their bowls eaten. Bill blinked into the suddenly eerie and dark room as he abandoned his bowl and fork and dove for the TV to stop the tape. The room went suddenly quiet and Ted didn't dare move.

"One more," Bill whispered despite the fact that they were the only ones there, and Ted listened to Bill insert the fifth and final tape.

"Dude," Ted pleaded, unsure what he was pleading for. Probably for Bill to finish and get back up on the couch so Ted didn't throw himself in a full-fledged panic. They'd already come so far and they weren't about to give up now, but it would help immensely if he weren't alone.

Bill jumped back up onto the couch, thigh to thigh with Ted as the last opening sequence of the night played in their dark living room at nearly midnight.

Bill's closeness was more distracting than ever, Ted almost missing the best and most heinously gorey pieces of the film every time Bill tensed up and shook against him. He's sure he'd been doing the same thing, though Bill didn't seem at all affected by it.

It was strange how fear seemed to literally bring them closer together, and it almost made Ted laugh at the thought that Freddy Krueger could possibly be some kind of ingenious cupid, creating connection through collective terrorising.

However, as he listened to the children sing Freddy's rhyme at the end of the movie, he thought better of that notion because Bill was hiding his face in his shoulder, and he was pretty sure no cupid would do such a thing as to make his best friend cry.

"Bill, dude, you're shaking," Ted whispered quietly. "The movie's over." Bill breathed in as he lifted his head to look at the TV, relieved to see that it was over. He subtly began to wipe at his eyes, and it amazed Ted how this had all been Bill's idea, and yet he was the one most terrified.

"Ted, I do believe," Bill began, doing his best to puff up his chest, "that we are truly the most bravest of all the brave." Ted smiled as he nodded. He would've made fun of Bill for getting scared were it not for the own lingering terror he was still feeling.

"Bill, we are most definitely two of the bravest men alive," Ted agreed with a nod. He paused for a second before adding, "Next time, though, maybe we should just see the new movie by itself."

It took a moment before Bill nodded, and they both collectively said, "Agreed."

Ted did the liberty of turning the lights back on and throwing out their half-eaten dinners, Bill putting the tape pile aside for rewinding later. They both finished and met up at their bedroom door before nodding and heading to their respective beds.

It was quiet as they slipped underneath their sheets, Ted reaching and turning off the bedside lamp, shrouding them both in darkness. Ted could hear Bill's unsteady breathing from the other side of the room, large breaths in and out like he was having trouble calming down.

Ted was having a similar issue, wincing every time he tried to close his eyes and seeing gruesome scenes from the movies behind the lids. He did his best to think about other, less Krueger-y things, but ultimately, it seemed like even through film, Freddy seemed to have a hold on both of them.

After nearly a whole hour of heavy breathing and occasional wincing, Ted finally spoke up, "Dude, I totally can't sleep."

"Yeah, me neither," Bill said instantly, taking another deep breath. "I keep thinking that Freddy dude is gonna get me as soon as I fall asleep."

"Dude, me too." Ted huffed. "You think if we fell asleep at the same time, we'd have the same dream? That way if he does end up coming after us, at least we'll be together."

"Ted, that's total bogus," Bill groaned, rolling over to look at Ted. "He isn't real."

"Yeah, but our brains think he totally is," Ted countered. "So, if we trick our brains into thinking he can't fight the both of us at once, maybe we'll get some sleep." A long silence seemed to stretch before Bill let out a snort, and Ted let one out right after. "Yeah, dude, that's definitely not how it works."

"Nah, dude," Bill laughed. "But your idea would be most outrageously correct within the Elm Street universe." Ted laughed as he watched Bill shake with his own in the darkness.

"Let's try to sleep, Bill," Ted said when the chuckles died down, and he tried to shut his eyes. The images still flashed, however, and he had to open his eyes again. Bill was still staring at him. "Dude, this is most non-triumphant."

"...Hey, Ted," Bill spoke up, voice nervous, and Ted gave him his undivided attention. "D'you... Like, would it be okay if-"

"-we shared the bed?" Ted finished the thought, and Bill let out a barely visible grin. "Yeah, dude."

Since Bill had the bigger blanket of the two of them, Ted was the one to climb under Bill's covers and lay down inches from his face. Somehow, this was far better than sleeping ten feet away from him. This way, Ted could feel him and make sure he was there.

"Hey, dude," Ted said, breath hot against Bill's face, and he managed a smile.

"Thanks, Ted," he found himself saying, and Ted furrowed his brows.

"For what, dude?"

"I would've never gotten through five of the most egregiously gorey and triumphantly horrific movies in cinema without you."

Ted laughed as he hid his face in Bill's chest, and Bill found himself holding him as he did so, until they were just lying there, together.

"And we'll get through the new one together, too," Ted mumbled into Bill, whose breathing had finally gone steady.

This time when he closed his eyes, he didn't catch the flashing images of Freddy Krueger. Instead, he saw the flashing images of Bill and his grin that said there was no way Freddy Krueger could ever best the both of them as long as they were together.

[choco-felix]

morning love ☆ ♡ bestfriend!jisung | 1.7k words

The coolness of the shower water chilled you deep inside, but you continued to let it fall against your skin; you were trying to pull yourself back into reality after waking up half naked beside your best friend, but, it wasn’t quite working. You sighed as you finally heated up the water, your shivering ceasing as you reached over to grab what you presumed was Jisung’s body wash. You let your hand graze over the front of the bottle before opening it, letting yourself take in the familiar scent of the liquid as you squeezed out a respectable amount.

You weren’t sure if your brain was working, but you couldn’t seem to remember anything about the night before other than...showing up at the club alongside Hyunjin, who had given you a soft smile and had left you by yourself at the bar. Everything after that was a completely blur until your eyes opened up under the soft sheets of Jisung’s bed and you had nearly screamed.

With a deep breath, you made your way back to his bedroom, having thrown on one of his t-shirts that was left inside of the bathroom (and of which looked clean). You were mentally preparing yourself to talk to him, about what might have or might have not happened the night before, but just as you entered the room, it was empty. “Is that my shirt?”

You whirled around to the sound of his voice, your eyes falling upon him scanning you from top to bottom, before raising his head to meet your gaze. “Um, yeah, it is...sorry, I should’ve asked—” You felt self-conscious at that point, suddenly aware even though it wasn’t the first time you had worn any of his clothes. “I just couldn’t find mine...”

Jisung shook his head immediately, “No! No, it’s fine. You don’t have to ask, I don’t mind. Uh, so, I made breakfast? Yeah, no, I made breakfast so, if you wanna...?” He trailed off, gesturing towards the kitchen; his eyes grazed past your bare legs as you walked off, his cheeks flaring up from the exposure as he looked away.

You had to say that breakfast with your best friend had never felt so awkward before, the two of you only stealing glances at each other every now and then while slowly eating the pancakes that he had cooked. They were—surprisingly good, considering his cooking skills had increased greatly since you had started teaching him. Just as you finished, you stood up to discard of your plate when Jisung swept by you, taking the dish from your hand instead.

You followed by as you watched him wash the dishes, your eyes moving from his hands and then trailing up his bare arms, stopping at the ends of his sleeveless shirt. Pursing your lips, you let yourself go for a few seconds, your mouth nearly watering over the sight of his hands. Your thoughts wandered, never leaving his hands while you imagined them moving up your thighs, stopping between the flesh near your core and inching his fingers just a little closer to where you needed to feel him before slipping them—

“—Y/N?” You snapped out of your daze, realizing that he was now standing in front of you with a concerned look on his face. “Are you okay? Do you feel alright or do you want a painkiller...or something? You don’t look like you have that bad of a hangover.” Jisung raised one of his hands to run through his hair, and you focused on it almost immediately that it made you embarrassed at how easily you were getting turned on by your best friend. The rings on a few of his fingers made you gulp, making him perk up. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah, ‘m fine!” You answered a little too enthusiastically, not being able to rip your gaze away from those hands of his (had you not noticed them earlier?) until he sensed your look, making you glance away. “Um, yeah so I just wanted to ask—what happened? Like, yesterday?” What happened that I ended up in my underwear and in your bed at the same time?

“So Hyunjin got you drunk, like always,” he chuckled softly at the memory of your swaying figure, clinging onto him like a koala as you whined that your feet hurt. “And you insisted I take you to my place, so here we are!” He wasn’t quite sure if he should elaborate on what had happened after that, so he left it there, giving you a large gummy smile and moving to walk away.

“Wait! I mean, what happened after we got here?” You heard your own voice trailing off along with your self-confidence, and your grip that you had fastened on his arm slowly releasing as well. He seemed to get what you were going at, moving back in front of you.

“Well,” Jisung’s fingers drummed the granite counter, sending spontaneous shivers down your spine for some odd reason. “You said that you were—tired, so I brought you to my room but uh, I wasn’t planning on staying there! You kinda said I could stay there with you, so...” He looked back up at you after the words were said, but you still hadn’t gotten everything from him; there was something that you knew he was hiding. “...that’s about it.”

“Then w-why did I—” you weren’t sure how to word the phrase—wake up naked in your bed? “Uh, I wasn’t wearing any clothes though?”

“Oh,” he let out a laugh, startling you when he leaned sideways. “Right—so you pinned me down on my own bed and kept telling me to call you princess. But my best part was when you complained it was too hot and took your dress off, right on top of me, actually. Pretty shameless.” You buried your face into your hands, feeling your face growing an honest burn as he continued. “I thought I was gonna have to wrestle you to sleep or something, but you passed out like a second after that.”

“Oh my god,” you mumbled into your skin, shaking your head repeatedly. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, that was probably traumatizing.” So, good job Y/N, you did well. Stripped in front of your best friend this time, what’s next? Getting naked in front of him?

“It was a pretty enjoyable view,” he said without hesitation, making your heart skip a beat when you peeked at him through your hands. He was now wearing a custom smirk, one that grew wider into a true smile. “A gorgeous girl was sitting atop of me, practically yanking a tight dress off her equally gorgeous body; how could that be traumatizing? It was heaven.” Your mouth fell open at his words, your eyes going wide as you realized he was getting awfully close to you, now making sure his face was inches in front of your own. “Wanna send me to heaven again?”

“W-What is that supposed to mean?” You knew exactly what that meant, especially when he brought his hands up to your face, wriggling his fingers in front of your eyes. “What are you doing?”

“I know you have a thing for my hands,” Jisung chirped, one of his hands resting against your hot cheek for a second before he giggled. “Are you nervous? Don’t be nervous, it’s just me.” His fingers grazed past the softness of your lips, swiping across the bottom for a second before they moved past your parted lips, slipping into your mouth. “Suck on them, pretty girl.”

You obeyed, watching him carefully as you swiped your tongue over his flesh, a low sound coming from your throat as they inched further back into your mouth. “Yeah? You like that?” He pulled them out, admiring the way your saliva coated his flesh so perfectly. “You wanna ride them?”

Pursing your lips, you nodded eagerly, no longer caring about any dignity around your friend. Jisung chuckled at your response, “Or do you want me to fuck you with them?” His question was low, the earlier thoughts of yours being thrown out of the window to his blatant suggestion.

“Yes,” you got out, your thighs involuntarily rubbing against each other at the thought of seeing his fingers disappear into your hole. He groaned out at your response, pressing his lips to yours without warning. You slowed him down with a hand to his chest, molding your mouth against his own the way you had wished to do for so long. His hands wrapped around your waist, hoisting you up against the counter before pulling away to wriggle a hand between your knees, parting your legs apart.

With a push to your (his) shirt, he had his fingers hooked onto your panties already, pulling you back into reality as you stopped him with a hand over his own. He looked back up at you, a mask of concern falling over the primary lust. “We don’t have to do this,” he said slowly. “Do you want me to stop?”

With another gulp, you shook your head. “No, I just had to—think for a moment.” He nodded knowingly, tapping softly at your hips to get you to lift them, and then slid your laced panties far down your legs, leaving them discarded on the floor. You let out a sound that was an awkward squawk, almost, shutting your legs in an attempt to cover yourself. Now, you just felt stupid, going back and forth from yeses and noes.

“Let me see how beautiful you are, princess,” Jisung tried at his words, feeling you loosen up to the pet name almost without a second thought. He spread your legs as wide as they allowed, running his hands and up down your thighs as he drank in the sight of your already dripping pussy. “You’re making a mess in my kitchen. Already so wet...from these things?” He wiggled his fingers in front of you again, liking your eye widening reaction. “Well, don’t you worry, I’ll put them to good use too.”

Just as his hands trailed up your thighs, massaging the soft flesh, you couldn’t help but feel like there was something missing. “Stop,” he removed his hands immediately, looking up at you. “Can we...not do this here?”

“Then my bed it is,” he said without hesitation, pulling you into his grasp and getting ready to give you the time of your life.

[selsprompts]

Who’s the best boyfie?

Insight; This is literally a shit post idk what this is okay- I basically wanted to do some boyfriend headcanons with my best boys Kuroo and Bokuto because why not??

This is literally all over the place pls don’t come for me.

Characters; Tetsurō Kuroo & Kōtarō Bokuto 

Warnings; cursing & erm there’s implied smut so read at your own risk mkay ghouls and gals tyty

Kuroo<3

oh gosh my favourite boy!!

Lots of hugs and kisses regardless of where you are this mf does not CARE.

but will be respectful infront of elders (ofc)

Loves to mark you up (hickeys ect)

He is definitely a physical boyfriend in every sense of the word

He comes off as the blunt type, definitely won’t beat around the bush when he wants something from you but will tease.

“Kitten, stop doing your work and come cuddle with me”

“Not right now Tetsurou”

“You’ve been studying for 3 hours just take a break”

“Oh yeah and do what?”

“I mean that chair looks a little uncomfortable, I have a better one right here”

Cocky bitch 101

You’ll be like ???

And he’ll be smirking licking his lips and then you catch his drift because he meant his face.

Soz back to cute stuff I’m—

He likes to buy you over the top things for special occasions.

this doesn’t mean he doesnt buy you things for non-special occasions.

it means that he puts more effort into Christmas, birthday and anniversary gifts.

Like this guy is ALWAYS doing the most just to show you how special you are no matter how much you think you aren’t.

He loves you to death and loves to show you off.

Shows you off infront of his friends especially so they can get jealous.

“Oya Oya that’s my baby, you look so good today”

“Yeah, yeah I know”

“Oh you know?”

“Yes?”

“You hear that Kenma? Y/n ALREADY knows!!”

Kenma is like 0_0 but he will compliment you saying you look nice

Kuroo likes to spend lunch with you, basically any of his spare time outside of vollyball and studying, that time is reserved for you.

It doesn’t bother him much because he sees his friends during classes and majority of them are in vollyball anyways.

WILL. FLIRT. WITH. YOU. IN. CLASS.

He will send you notes and purposely tease you (maybe try to get you in trouble)

“Hey y/n take the note”

“nO Kuroo I’m going to get in trouble”

“Come I’m just this one time-”

“KUroo no-”

“Excuse me, Mr/Ms Y/n, am I interrupting your conversation?”

“No Miss”

“Mmm”

“I’m gonna kill you Kuroo”

“ehehe”

Now he can tell you about how you need to be punished later for making such a big mistake.

Kuroo is top. He will switch if that’s what you really want but majority of the time he’s top.

Kuroos way or the fucking highway 8)

Type of bf to text you at 2am asking to FaceTime till he falls asleep and you comply

Sends you memes that you two can laugh about next time you see eachother.

Sends futuristic memes (as in things that would happen in the future between you to)

*Marriage memes*

Loves to help you do whatever you need.

He hates seeing you struggle when it’s not underneath him

Makes fun of your height if you’re shorter than him CONSTANTLY

“Hey short stuff, how’s the grass?”

if you’re taller he will be lowkey jealous that he has to look up to you.

“Hey, if it isn’t my long legged kitty, come down from up there”

Loves you regardless of what you look like honestly.

Loves you for the mindset you have and the person YOU ARE.

Kuroo is the type to fall INLOVE with someone’s way of life and how they choose to live it.

King shit all the time pls you are his King/Queen.

You ARE royalty in his eyes and deserve nothing but the best, no more no less.

Will reassure his love when need be. It’s cute because he doesn’t do it often.

10/10 boyfriend will definitely share the bed.

You’re usually little spoon but when he’s cranky and loses a match, he won’t say it but you’ll just know that he wants to be held so you be the big spoon:’)

Bokuto<3

okay off the bat this MF IS SO HYPER MY GOD-

will want your attention 24/7.

always has to make sure you’re safe.

he’s so cute when you ignore him purposely especially over text,

“Hey baby”

*read*

“Helloooo y/n”

*read*

“noe what did I do pls tell me🥺”

babie hotline 101.

wbk he super emo so when you do stuff like that he’s in babie mode.

will always answer your texts ASAP.

V supportive of anything you do 100%.

He is the physical boyfriend but is a tiny bit more modest in public and likes to keep it respectful infront of elders/superiors.

Loves to hug you from behind so he can pop his head on your shoulder and look at you from the side like ;).

he will say he loves you all the time just cause he wants you to know.

this goes for in person and over text,

“Hey y/n”

“Yeah Bokuto?”

“I love you”

“That was random”

“I know but I just want you to know how I feel right now”

“I love you too goofball”

“Hehe”

WILL HEHE WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT HIM PLS HE SNICKERS ALL THE TIME AND BLUSHES.

Loves to give affection however he can.

This means he’ll bring flowers during lunch or whatever just to surprise you to see the look on your face.

Loves sharing food with you because he gets to feed you.

Same when you’re sick he will be babying you.

Bokuto is a switch so he’s moody no doubt about it for when he wants you on top.

He can be v dominant when you see him after a match he lost or if he’s very hype.

Will go into “whos the best fucking player mm?” mode in the bedroom 0_0.

Loves when you pull his hair WHEHE.

Loves to do matching outfits sometimes lowkey.

Also LOVES LOVES LOVES to show you off infront of literally everyone???

Akaashi is like ok chile.

He thinks your relationship is good for bokuto because he’s not up his ass all the time and he doesn’t have to deal with the emo king.

Loves to kiss you on the forehead during romantic moments.

He feels that it symbolizes more affection then a kiss on the lips sometimes.

He also kisses you by grabbing you with both hands by the face.

Super passionate kisser literally out of a movie scene.

Likes sending memes of like everything dedass, especially shows you watch together which is ALSO a lot.

Will name a star after himself and tell you that ‘whenever you look up at the sky you can find me’

Super cute gifts.

Bokuto has a type.

It’s the incredibly cute kind.

He needs someone to match his uwu energy.

He loves you for your ambition and strive.

This is because he feels the same way about vollyball so when he sees you being so driven with something it reminds him of himself.

Loves your personality more than anything.

You’re probably always big spoon because babie hello unless he’s like ok protective owl time.

If you’re short he loves to throw you over his shoulder and run around with you.

“Babe not again”

“But WHYYYYY it was so fun last time”

“FOR YOU! I was being carried around like a dead CHICKEN”

“A CUTE DEAD CHICKEN!”

“I- bokuto”

If you’re tall he will dedass ask you to do blocks for him even if you don’t play vollyball... there is no choice.

Tall jokes 24/7.

“How’s the weather up there mm?”

“Shut up bokuto”

“Mhm just don’t get hit by any birds”

“-_-”

Boyfriend status again 10/10 but will pull the wholeass sheet off of you and when you yell at him he will tell you to ‘get closer then’.

It’s really a preference at this point.

Hey guys, I apologize for this long awaited post. I’ve had this in my drafts for forever and I haven’t been feeling in the mood to write lately but I hope this is good!

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 32 arrives! It’s, I gotta say, quite an improvement on what we’ve had lately. Quite an improvement. Even so, it’s nothing that’s gonna rock the world... but hey, I was so desperate for something different to happen that y’know what, I’ll take it.

Pic of the week:

A Digimon who just wants to roll around in the grass. Go’way, baddies.

More below!

So as you probably gather... we start with Takeru this week! Haha! Good riddance Taichi! I luv ya but I’ve had enough of ya! Take a break!

jk I totally missed him the whole thirty seconds he wasn’t on screen

Takeru and Patamon are running for their lives, of course! Patamon makes a valiant effort to evolve to protect Takeru but...

... Poor baby. He gave it the ol’ college try but he just ain’t as young as he used to be.

Things look grim until Komondomon shows up with a creepy disembodied hand sticking out of his fur!

Phew, it’s just Sora. Her brilliant plan to rescue Takeru is to grab his arm and drag him along with them... I mean... sure... Whiplash has been proven Not A Thing in this universe so...

After getting rid of their pursuer, the group checks in with the others. I’m reminded of how silly separations feel when you can just communicate with each other by walkie-talkie. Yamato’s been riding Garurumon for a long time now lol. At least we got to see him...

He sweetly encourages Takeru and tells him the best thing he can do to help Patamon with his evolution issues is be there to support him. Then he tells Taichi “I leave Takeru in your case.” Ok sure, like Sora’s not right there...

Taichi: In my care? Should I point out that I already lost one little sibling to the dark side? Nah...

Seriously, though... that’s the current situation. Taichi is actively going over SkullKnightmon to get Hikari back. If Takeru stays with him that just means Takeru gets to go into danger again too. Of course, it seems that the dark side is suddenly uninterested in Takeru and Patamon so... I guess it’s okay 9_9

We then check in with Mimi! Who is being her awesome Mimi-tastic self. Ugh I love her.

Wondered what happened to Golemon. Turns out there was nothing much to worry about because no one loves a macho boxing match like Tachikawa Mimi. If there’s ever a season where these kids grow up, I hope Mimi is like, a big fan of sumo or something.

Taichi: O... kay... well... Mimi sure is... an intersting person...

Agumon: Hey you should make her your girlfriend!

Taichi: what nOOO BAD IDEA ABORT ABORT

Meanwhile, the situation with Jou is, um, questionable to say the least...

(how is keeping that towel on)

Jou: HEEEEELP!!!

Taichi: ... you didn’t hear anything, did you? Me neither. *closes link*

Finally we check in with Koushirou. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what he says. -__-;

At least we see him get bombed a bit. He’s okay though.

Meanwhile unconscious Patamon gets a visitor from baby angel Lopmon, who tells him about hist lost memories.

He adds that the other legendary warriors have lost their power and it’s up to Patamon and his bond with Takeru to save the world more or less.

He encourages Patamon to find his hope.

Patamon: Who am I? What am I? All before me is dark. I know not what path to take.

The others, having nothing better to do, peep on Patamon’s crisis of faith.

Takeru relates a story about learning to swim and being scared of the water, but Yamato stayed with him so eventually he was able to learn to do it. Aww. Not quite comparable to Hikari’s “I wet the bed and Taichi changed the sheets and then told our parents that he was the one that did it” from the 99 series but still pretty good.

The sweet moment is interrupted by a flash of light! Then dark! Then light! Then dark!

It’s another scary Digimon! Oh dear. It’s Kerberomon. A three-headed Cerberus as I’m sure you figured out. Once again, this show does not how to convey what the stakes are. After everything we’ve been through, it’s hard to take random nobody Digimon as serious as each episode wants us to take them... but it’s obvious from the build up here that Kerberomon’s going to be tough to beat for Reasons.

Greymon gets hit and says, “I let down my guard!” MAYBE DON’T DO THAT THEN

Also it is very windy.

Le ouch. This is the Digimon from earlier whose name I forgot to take down. He’s come back with his friend...

... Scarier-in-the-dark-mon.

They’re surrounded~ Oh noes and whatnot.

Taichi is a bit cool here, clinging to Komondomon’s helmet and directing the battle like a war general. Mostly he’s telling them how to avoid getting hit by Kerberomon’s powerful attacks but I like that we get to see him using his head like this.

What I think is happening here is, Komondomon isn’t as fast as the kids could be if they were on their own, so their speed is hampered and that plus the number of assailants makes this battle tough. I am sure we’re supposed to assume that the reason WarGreymon doesn’t appear is because it takes a lot of energy to bring him out, even though last time he appeared twice in the same episode -.-;

Sora decides to be useful and goes to help Takeru get to safety.

... She is immediately struck by an attack and collapses, badly hurt somehow. This is so dumb. First of all, they don’t even animate her getting hit. There’s a flash and then she’s down. She should at least get to throw herself over Takeru protectively or something. Geez. 90s anime did it so much better. She’s just standing there and gets hit. What, did she forget there was a battle raging around her?

Second, WE ALREADY HAD DAMSEL IN DISTRESS SORA. It was Jou’s motivation to be cool way back when this show was rather more interesting than it has been of late. Why do the boys need Sora to get SERIOUSLY INJURED to be able to fight?? WHY?? Like, Taichi gets caught in the line of fire ALL THE TIME, but he never gets injured to the point where he can’t continue on. (Except for that one time with Devimon but those were exceptional circumstances!)

Like, why are we making Sora so weak?? This is so unnecessary.

I guess Yamato was right by entrusting Takeru to Taichi instead of Sora though...

... Uhhh.... never mind X’D

Taichi: Whew... m-maybe no one saw that...

Our be-bibbed god reappears to offer sage advice.

Patamon recalls his final moments as Seraphimon... being enveloped into darkness.

This is cool - we see his angelic wings turn to demon ones briefly before he slides back to lower levels. Not sure if it means anything but we have been theorizing that Patamon could still be infected by the evil that wounded him in the past.

Patamon then recalls things that happened after he was reborn and I’m reminded for the billionth time how much harder the emotions around Angemon’s death hit in the 99 show...

Suddenly Patamon realizes - his hope is Takeru, and he is Takeru’s hope.

The boys put on their game faces. This is what I mean by Sora really didn’t need to get hurt here. I get that it gives Takeru a reason to be protective, but the thing that evolves Patamon is Patamon’s feelings, the same way Agumon’s feelings were what rescued them from Devimon etc. That’s an interesting thing about this show - the Digimon’s feelings seem as important to evolution as, if not more than, the kids’.

Patamon evolves!! Very creepily! But... not to Angemon!

He becomes Pegasusmon! Who... looks a lot bigger than I remember, even considering Takeru is very small... xD

So this is pretty cool! I’ve been wondering how on earth the show was gonna keep introducing evolutions after already using up so many key players, especially for Taichi. But it looks like Armor Digimon can appear, and that makes me think that we could see all kinds of evolutions for the entire team that we’ve never seen before. I like that idea, but I don’t really know if this show has time for it. Maybe it will just be Pegasusmon and Nefertimon who are available to Takeru and Hikari so the writers can preserve the angels for the most epic moments only. That seems the most likely way things will go here, and the only qualm I have with it is, they’ve played all of Taichi’s cards already, and he’s the main character. He has to have something else in the future...

He attac!!!!

Kerberomon doesn’t last long, although why is wholly inexplicable. What about Pegasusmon gives him the edge when MetalGreymon and Garudamon couldn’t handle it? Is it because he’s an Armor Digimon? That may be it but the show doesn’t bother to explain.

Another thing I’d love to see, if there are gonna be more than just one evolutionary tree for the partners, is the kids actually strategizing when they decide which evolution to use. One of the cool parts of Tamers was the kids actively supporting their partner with skill as well as heart. I don’t think that’s gonna happen in this season, but you know, a girl can dream.

Takeru: Hurray for murder!

The three Digimon work together to put the lid on Kerberomon. Garudamon has the coolest moment. Squash.

Taichi checks on Sora who seems fine now. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Aw, but these two really are adorable.

What a sweet ending card T_T I want more of these.

Okay so yeah, this episode was a much needed upper after the stream of “watch Taichi fight random forgettable monsters” episodes we’ve had lately. I’m glad we got it. I still, just, like, why can’t they get the emotional build up right?? I wouldn’t say 99 Adventure did anything insanely unusual in how it treated the various crises the kids faced, but it def did a better job than this show. In 99, they understood the importance of moments of reflection, of talking about things, of showing expressions and how other characters react... And I still feel like this reboot DID do that, at least somewhat better, in the beginning. Like what went down between Yamato and Taichi after Ogremon was killed. That was pretty good.

They’ve totally lost what makes Digimon great. I hope this episode is a sign that they’re gonna take it back, but, my heart just hearts y’all.

Next episode... I’m rather surprised since we are REALLY overdue some face time with Yamato, not to mention Mimi and Jou, but apparently we’re sticking with Taichi. At least it looks lke we’ll get some new plot stuff related to Hikari.

If this all leads up to something that makes sense, I will retract all my complaints, I swear. Except about the gratuitous nonstop fighting. But the rest, I will take back.

Taichi’s determined!! This is Digimon Adventure! Let’s go on a freaking adventure!!

[artificialqueens]

Sleeping In The Hallway (Biadore) - Whiskey Neat

A/N: I’m back sooner than expected! I’m really trying to fill the list of like 30 prompts I’ve made for myself but I’ve been running quite low on motivation lately. I can’t promise my next fic will be out soon but I’ll always be around. Hope you enjoy this one!

Summary: Adore is drunk and Bianca is mad at her.

TW: vomit (nothing graphic)

Adore was in the middle of downing shots at the bar when her phone vibrated in her pocket. After messily reaching for it, the device slipped though her fingers, tumbling down to the floor.

“God I wish Bianca was here to pick this up for me” Adore thought as she stumbled off the stool and crouched down, feeling around on the sticky floor for her phone. “Where is Bianca anywa- oh fuck.” Adore panicked, as she picked up her phone and saw a text from Bianca on the screen.

Willow: Guess you’re not coming back tonight. Hope you had fun with all your FRIENDS!*insert alcoholic drink emojis*

“Bianf Im so sorey i come baxk noe” Adore typed out in a rush, slamming some random bills down on the counter before stumbling toward the exit of the bar.

On the short walk back to the hotel, Adore had time to put her thoughts together, as together as her drunken brain would let her, that is. How could she have lost track of time like this? She was supposed to meet Bianca back at their shared hotel room at midnight so they could spend some quality time together before they would have to part ways tomorrow. She checked her phone again. It was currently 2am. Another text from Bianca simply reading “Don’t bother.” also showed on the screen.

She really fucked up. Not only had she missed out on quality Bianca time, but once she reached the door of their room the realization hit her that she had also forgotten her room key.

After trying the handle, only to find it locked, Adore knocked a few times and waited. To her dismay, she was met with silence.

She tried knocking again to no avail.

“B?” She whispered, leaning against the door. “Can you let me in? I lost m’key.”

No response. By now, Adore was growing frustrated. Bianca had texted her less than 10 minutes before and she knew the older queen never fell asleep this fast, which could only mean one thing…she was ignoring her.

That assumption was very correct. Bianca was indeed still awake, listening to every word from where she was laying comfortably in their hotel bed. Was she being immature for not letting the younger queen in? Probably. But was she going to open the door for her at any point tonight? Absolutely not. If Adore wanted to be irresponsible and spend her night drinking instead of following through on their plans, then she could find her own place to sleep.

“I know you’re not fucking sleeping! Open the door!” Adore whisper-yelled, a bit too loudly. The alcohol in her system was quickly excelling her frustration to a level she didn’t know how to contain.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now!?” Adore continued, resorting to kicking the door with the toe of her sparkly doc marten boot.

After being met with more silence, angry tears started welling in her eyes.

“C’mon Bianca! This is my room too! You can’t just leave me out here!” Adore whined, voice breaking.

Silence.

“Don’t do this to me…” she sobbed, falling to her knees as her drunken state wouldn’t allow her to stand anymore.

After being met with silence yet again, Adore shifted to curl up on her side on the dirty hotel carpet, continuing to sob loudly.

A short while later, a familiar presence entered the hallway.

“Adore? What’s happened?” The Australian accent asked with worry.

Adore removed her hands from her mascara-streaked face and looked up to see Courtney kneeling in front of her.

“Bianca hates me!” she cried, sitting up and throwing her arms around Courtney.

“I’m sure that’s not true Adorm, why do you think that?” The blonde asked, rubbing her back.

“C-Cause she’s mad at me and she won’t let me in and I’m a fuck up and-and-“ Adore explained, working herself up into hysterics again.

“Hey, it’s okay….breathe….breathe…” Courtney coaxed, guiding the dark haired queen through some deep breaths.

“How bout you stay in my room tonight and we can deal with Bianca tomorrow, okay?” The Aussie offered, helping Adore stand up.

Adore nodded and wiped her nose, allowing Courtney to basically carry her down the hall to her room.

Once in the room, Courtney guided Adore to bed. After downing a bottle of water, Adore had passed out, leaving Courtney awake to send one simple text to Bianca.

“You’re babysitting this hangover in the morning. Not me.” She sent, attaching a picture of the sleeping queen next to her. With that, Courtney switched off the lamp and went to sleep.

*the next morning*

Adore could feel the nausea coming on before she was fully awake. She rolled over and groaned, trying to ignore it, fearing that her head might actually explode if she had to open her eyes to make a run for the bathroom.

She managed to drift off for about 5 more minutes before her stomach lurched dangerously and she absolutely HAD to get up and make that dreaded run for the bathroom.

Halfway through vomiting up all the alcohol she had consumed the night before, she felt a hand brushing her hair back and holding it out of her face.

When she was finished, Adore whimpered miserably, resting her forehead on the cool porcelain bowl, feeling awful and gross.

“You’re okay…” Said a gravely voice from behind her.

The voice didn’t belong to Courtney like she had expected. Instead she turned to see that it was Bianca who had been holding her hair back. Adore froze and fought back the urge to vomit again as the memory of last nights events came back to her.

“What are you doing here?” Adore croaked, feeling slightly embarrassed of how rough her voice sounded.

“Courtney told me you were here.”

“Yeah, but like what are you doing…here?” Adore asked, motioning to where they were seated on the bathroom floor.

“Helping you?” Bianca stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Thought you were mad at me…” Adore said, turning back towards the toilet as another wave of nausea came over her.

“Mad? No. Disappointed? Very.” Bianca replied, pulling Adore’s hair back once again.

“M’sorry….” Adore mumbled when she was finished.

“I just wanted to spend time with you. We’re not gonna see each other for what, 2 months after this?” Bianca admitted, handing Adore a bit of toilet paper to wipe her face with. “So when you stayed out to drink, something you can do on any other night, it was just really disappointing since we already had plans, you know?”

“I know…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I really did plan on coming back but then I lost track of time and-“ Adore cut herself off to clear her dry throat. “Can you get me some water please?” She asked with a pout.

Without a word, Bianca exited the bathroom and returned moments later with a bottle of water.

“Thanks” Adore told her, chugging half of it before continuing. “I lost track of time, and I know that’s a shitty excuse but I’d never do that to you on purpose. I’ve been trying to not drink so much lately but last night was just….yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Mistakes happen, I get it.” Bianca said, pulling Adore in against her side for a hug. Adore rested her head on the older queens shoulder and they sat like that for a bit.

“I can’t believe you were gonna make me sleep in the fucking hallway” Adore half-joked a few minutes later.

“I can.” Bianca deadpanned, holding back a laugh. The situation suddenly becoming funny now that everything was okay between them. “Now can we get off this floor? Courtney and I brought breakfast.”

“Only if you let me borrow your key so I can go brush my teeth.” Adore said with a smirk.

Bianca handed said item over to Adore. “You better not lose it. Otherwise we’ll both be sleeping in the hallway.”

[jeonsduck]

Who Let The Dogs Out?

So the Area 51 raid wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Well, you'll just have to find your own fun, won't you?

Hybrid!Yunho x Reader

Part 1

So the Area 51 raid had been a miss. You sat on the balcony of your motel in Roswell, New Mexico, bored and a little disappointed. You weren't sure what you were really expecting when you drove all the way out here, but was a little excitement too much to ask? Maybe not. For, just as your were lamenting the banal night you were having, a dark shadow limped into the parking lot. You watched the vague figure move around the shadows of the property, obviously keen on not being spotted. Well, it was too late for that. You crept down the stairs, keeping a careful eye on the person. He had stopped under the awning, and appeared to be harassing the vending machines. "You know, you actually have to put money in it to get food out, right?" You said, watching as he jumped. He whirled around to face you, taking tiny steps back from you. "I'm not going back there. Stay away." He growled, and you did mean growl. You assesed him more carefully, glancing up and down his body. He was tall, wearing a very dirty pair of hospital scrubs. His shoes were plain and he was putting all he weight on one foot, like it was injured. Maybe a psych ward escapee, or something? "Look dude, I don't even know you. But if you're hungry, I got half a pepperoni pizza upstairs you can have. It's cold but its free." you offered. He seemed to think about it for a moment, staring you down. Weird dude. But finally, he seemed to come to a conclusion and stepped into the light. You assessed him visually again, now that you could see more of him. There was a sort of name tag sewn into his shirt that read YN-K9. He was rather attractive, as far as dirty street strangers went. He had blonde hair, on top of which sat two perked dog ears. You mentally made your peace with the furry you had invited to your room, when one of the ears MOVED. You startled, taking a step back. The guy looked at you, tilting his head to the side, kind of like a dog. One of his ears flopped over and you just stared, slack jawed. "Did.... did your ears just move?" you ask. "Uhhh, probably. They do that a lot. Can I still have that pizza?" He replies like his ears have always moved, and the shape isn't weird, and maybe to him it's not. "Y-yeah sure. Follow me." You lead him back upstairs to youre room, where you offer him the pizza. The second he gets his hands on the food, you notice something fluffy swishing back and forth behind him and oh. That's a tail. He sits on the floor and scarfs the pizza down like he hadn't eaten in days. You're sure the pizza is gone before you blink. "You were pretty hungry, huh?" you ask. The guys sighs at the empty pizza box and you feel a little sad that you couldn't offer him anything else. "Thank you." he says. "You're welcome.... uh what's your name?" You ask. "My name? I don't really have one. Most of them called me YN-K9. But one of them, used to call me..... Yunho." he managed. "Yunho.... well Yunho, I'm Y/N. Want to tell me what's going on?" you ask, reclining onto your bed. "I think I should go...." he replied, glacing at the door. You, desperate for entertainment and answers jump in before Yunho can get up. "I can order more pizza." You offer. Yunho eyes you're up again, but passes his judgement much faster this time. ".... can I get olives?" After ordering a second round of pizza, you face Yunho with your face in your hands and nod at him. He sighs and begins his tale. "The best word for what I am is a hybrid. Officially, I'm a science experiment from the military base near town. I had my genes doctored in embryo and spliced with that of a dog, thus the tail and ears. I think the government wants to try to make superhumans or something. I escaped in the chaos caused by the raid." He explained. So that's what they were hiding in Area 51. Not aliens, but unethical and inhuman genetic experiments. "Wait, so the raid worked?" you asked. Yunho nodded solemnly. "It was planned as part of my escape. I had some people on the outside helping. But,we got separated. Now I don't know what to do." You,frowned, looking and how depressed Yunho was. "I'll help you find them." You find yourself offering. "What? Would you really?" Yunho asks, surprised. "Yeah. Yeah, I will." "Thank you, Y/N. Truly." You smile at Yunho and then suddenly the room is filled with bright light. "This is the United States Military! Experiment YN-K9, we are asking you to give yourself up! We will be conducting a search of the premises in five minutes if you do not comply." You turn to Yunho who looks terrified. "They found me... no no no how did they find me?!" You crouch down in front of the hybird, and take his hand in yours. "They haven't found you yet. Come on, I have a plan." You say, pulling him to his feet. You lead him into the bathroom, and push him under the sink. He manages to fold his long body up to fit in the small space and you smile. "It's gonna get hot in here, but it'll be okay." You tell him. He nods and you turn on the hot water in the sink and shower, grab a towel and shut the door. Then you wait. It feels like it takes hours for the search party to get to your door, the silence stretching on forever. "US Military open up!" Followed by violent banging on the door. You open the bathroom door and turn off the sink and shower. You put your finger over your lips, reminding Yunho to be quiet. "I was in the shower, give me a minute!" You call, quickly stripping off your clothes. "You have 30 seconds to comply before we break down this door!" You panic slighty, ripping your clothes off as quickly as possible. "We're coming in!" The weak motel door gives easily, and you're faced with two armed officers training riflies on your naked body. You attenpt to cover yourself with the towel and put your plan in motion. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! I said I was in the fucking shower!" You screeched, wrapping the towel around you securely. The two officers covered their eyes and started stuttering out apologies. "We're sorry but our mission is-" one of them starts, but you cut him off. "Fuck your mission, you're just a couple of creeps!" "Sorry, sorry." "Yeah I bet you're fucking sorry. Noe get the fuck out before I sue the both of you!" you yell. It works. The two soldiers retrrat, closing the broken door behind them as they leave. You get redressed before calling Yumho out so you don't scar him. "They're gone, buddy. It's safe now." Yunho crawls out from under the sink warily, eyes darting around. After the raid, Yunho seems extremely stressed out. So you have him sit in the bed while you try to treat his twisted ankle. "Thank you, Y/N. But, why are you helping me?" he asks. "Because you need it. And I'm bored. And you're really cool." you asnwer, wrapping an ace bandage around the joint. Yunho chuckles, and nods. "Thank you."

[olliexsmythe]

Dazed and Confused || NOLLIE

Who: Oliver Smythe and Noah Duval ( @tapdancingduval )

Where: Noah’s Suite

When: Wednesday 22nd April, early hours of the morning

Notes: Oliver wakes up in bed alone, and stumbles upon a very disturbing site. Noah is not dealing with the aftermath of the punishment very well.

Warning: Self-flagellation

Noah

Noah had determined before he'd even finished unlocking Owen that he would never tell anyone what he had done that night. He would smile and talk about the room full of spiders. I'm alright he would tell them Got off easy he would assure them. He could get on with the business of taking care of the people he loved and try to forget. Once the guards brought him to the switch dorms he started looking for his brothers and Ollie. He wouldn't believe that what he had done had really saved Ollie until he saw him.

Ollie

His body hurt; of course it did, and he knew he’d only made it worse for himself by swinging his legs and the satisfying chuckle that came with his foot connecting with a guard’s crotch. But mentally, this didn’t hurt him. It didn’t make him feel like less of a person, less worthy of love so all in all, he considered himself lucky. He didn’t know the person he freed him, but she filled him in on enough of the basics to broaden his picture of what had actually happened that night. His eyes landed on Noah almost immediately, and he felt his whole body relax with relief. They may be broken and bruised, but he knew as soon as he could get his arms around him, everything would feel a little better. Everyone else fell away as he crossed the room to him, folding his arms around him and pulling him fiercely into his chest. ‘C’mere. Toby promised I could have the spare room.’ He muttered. He didn’t want to debrief, to truly try to comfort him amidst the business of the main living area.

Noah

Ollie. There he was. He stood  there for just a moment taking in the sight of him like a drink of water after a trek across the desert. Noah tried out his smile as he was pulled into tight hug, but it felt weird and out of place. "Toby? Oh..." He let himself be pulled along, feeling a step behind. "Wait. Are you alright? Did they... did they beat you?" He stepped back so that he could look at him. Up and down looking at every injury and cataloging them.

Ollie

'I promise I'm okay. The guards found me; I wasn't exactly well hidden or in any position to make myself blend in. They were mocking at first -- they made some comment about' He stopped and shook his head. He knew what they mocked him about but he wasn't going to repeat it. 'I can't even remember. I fought back. I'm sick of taking their shit. It wasn't my smartest move, granted. But for a hot minute, it felt fucking great. I hate the idea of hurting someone but the noise he made when I kicked him. It felt a lot like revenge for all the shit they've put us through.' He was talking quickly, and he forced himself to slow down, his accent even sounding thicker to his own ears. He brought his hand up to cup Noah's cheek and stared at him, long and deep. 'The girl who got me filled me in on some details about what was happening to you. I don't know what your choice was but I feel like you had to make an impossible one to try to protect me. Because there's no-one who loves me, or cares about me the way you do. And I know you chose to protect me.' he said softly. 'I know how they play games with your head so I'm not gonna insist you tell me the details yet, but you protected me.' He'd walked past the submissive, a girl he didn't recognise, and Kirin in the courtyard. He could only assume that's what happened to those who weren't protected.23 April 2020

Noah

I hate the idea of hurting someone What would he think of the idea of whipping a completely innocent someone until they bled? The gentle way Ollie was cupping his cheek and the curving lilt of his accent nearly made him break, but he managed to hold onto the unraveled tethers of his self control. He tried on that smile again and thank God it held this time. "I'm fine. Was just spiders. Had to get the key in a room full'a spiders." His fear of spiders was pretty well known. And it was the truth. It just wasn't the whole truth. He was already working hard to push the real truth of the night as deep down as it would go. "Can we go home. Want to make sure you're alright."

Ollie

Oliver studied him carefully. Noah was scared of spiders; it was a running joke that Ollie would always have to be the one who got them out of the house, but Noah seemed so fragile and broken, and Ollie couldn't fathom him being so scared of spiders that it would cause that. He furrowed his brow, and swiftly came to the conclusion that now wasn't the time. He leaned in and kissed him, softly -- stepping completely into his personal space. He breathed him in, and then nodded. 'Okay mon amour. Let's go home. I promise you can inspect every inch of me until you're satisfied that I'm alright.' He thought perhaps Noah needed to take care of him, before he could allow himself to be taken care of, and Ollie understood that.

Noah

Noah practically held his breath waiting to see if Oliver would buy it. The thing about being in love with the smartest person you knew was that they definitely saw through your bullshit. But maybe if he believed his bullshit enough it could just be the truth and Ollie would never have to know. Noah himself would never really have to know; never have to think about it ever again. So, he waited and held his breath, nearly giving the it up when he actually sighed in relief. "Yeah... yeah. I got some salves and creams and stuff yesterday so. And I got the ice packs ready." It was one of the first lessons he learned at Lima was to have plenty of ice packs. He reached out for Ollie's hand and pretended that his hand wasn't shaking.

Ollie

Oliver let himself be led out of the Switch Dorm, to the Dominant one. There were seemingly countless students now starting to mill around, figuring out their place to go. He didn't feel like he could truly relax until they were back inside the familiarity of Noah's suite, with the world locked out and only the two of them inside. 'What do you need Noe?' he asked, leading him through to the bedroom. It had been their bedroom, but he didn't think he'd slept there since before they'd broken up.

Noah

Walking from one building to another was like being in a movie. After the end of the battle and people just wander around shell shocked. Fellow students looked as shell shocked as he felt and he had to keep his head down, not wanting to see his reflection anymore. Especially not when he was working so hard to remake how he was feeling and deny what had happened. He breathed in and out once they were home, wishing that Astrid was there. He let Ollie lead them back to the bedroom. "I'm fine. Really Ollie. It wasn't so bad. I was just really scared that they lied, you know? That they would punish you anyway...." he looked at a bruise blooming on his cheek. "and they did." He reached out and stroked delicately over the reddened skin. "Where else are you hurt?"

Ollie

‘No, my bruises aren’t on you Noe. My bruises are on me being an idiot who can’t take a beating without throwing my fists around. Or feet, rather in this case.’ The more Noah insisted he was fine, the less Ollie believed him. ‘They got me across my back, shoulders mainly but it’s nothing that won’t heal.’ He stepped back from his embrace so he could pull the shirt he’d borrowed from Toby off, and turned around to let Noah examine him. ‘See? It aches, but it won’t linger.’

Noah

"You're not an idiot. Assholes deserved it." But he knew of course what Oliver meant. Fighting back ultimately just backfired and got you hurt worse.  When Oliver took off his shirt and turned around, Noah sucked in a breath through his teeth. Was it the worst he'd seen since being at the school? No. It wasn't even the worst injuries he'd seen on Ollie and didn't that make a shudder run up his spine. He raised his and and ran just one finger, feather light along the marks there before reaching for the balm and starting to lightly work it in. "Tell me if it hurts, yeah?" That was a dumb question. Of course it hurt. "It'll heal," he repeated, wanting to will the words into reality.

Ollie

He didn't flinch, didn't wince. He wasn't so sore that he needed to upset or worry Noah more than the Dominant was already worrying. In fact, despite the pain, the way Noah's fingers worked against his skin was soothing, comforting. Like the deep satisfaction that came with a much needed massage. 'Toby said you were able to unlock two submissives.' he commented, glancing over his shoulder.

Noah

Well thank you Toby "Oh yeah... just a littler task. Guess they didn't have enough dominants for each submissive." He shrugged, hoping that would put an end to it. The more tangled this web got the harder it would be for him to maintain it for himself. "Want to lay down? I can give you a proper massage. Then sleep?" He wanted to go to sleep and wake up and just pretend this night never happened.

Ollie

'Everything that I've witnessed about tonight tells me nobody was asked to do anything little.' he commented, turning around to face him. He cupped his face again, needing the physical contact to keep himself sane and on task. 'I'm not going to beg, or plead with you. I'm not going to fight with you, and I'm not going to force you. I won't leave if you still choose not to tell me everything that happened to you tonight. But I want you to know that I want to know. And I'm not hiding anything from you Noah.'

Noah

Noah flinched but didn't back away. "I don't... not... I won't." He shook his head. "It's not... I want to forget it. I... please Ollie." He shook his head and finally moved away, just shaking his head and trying to find things to do, straightening the already perfectly flat bedspread. "Gotta forget it... gotta... I'm fine. I'm fine Ollie" He could still feel the whip in his hand and unconsciously started shaking it like a limb that has gone to sleep.

Ollie

‘So something more did happen.’ He’d suspected it but Noah’s reaction confirmed everything for him. Well,  not everything. He didn’t know what happened but it was more than spiders to shake him up like that. ‘Don’t lie to me Noah. You’re not fine.’ His voice was soft, gentle — a tone that was exclusively reserved for the perfectly imperfect and utterly brilliant man in front of him. He climbed on the bed, kneeling and caught Noah’s hands. ‘Pretending it didn’t happen won’t make you forget it. You don’t have to talk to me now, but don’t pretend you’re okay when I know you’re not. Come to bed. Let me hold you.’

Noah

He was lying but his deeper intention wasn't to lie to Ollie. It was to lie to the universe and make none of it have happened. He climbed up on the bed and into those arms that he knew so well. "I have to forget it." And it did feel that imperative. "What I did tonight..." He shook his head again. "It's better if you don't know. Don't want no one to know"

Ollie

‘It’s not better. It’ll eat you up inside.’ He was glad to be the big spoon, able to cradle Noah against his chest and stroke through his hair. ‘I’m not just anyone Noe. We’ve both seen the other at their worst, their lowest, their happiest.’  He held him closer, and kissed his hair. ‘If tonight’s not the night, that’s okay. You can rest. Sleep. I’ll stay right here with you. For always.’

Noah

He opened his mouth but no words came out. How could explain to Ollie that saying it out loud would just make it real. He shook his head. "Just want to sleep."

Ollie

‘That’s okay my love. You can sleep.  For as long as you need.’ He was confident he’d find out what happened eventually, but whatever it was, it had already made him hate Sue Sylvester more, made him hate this awful school, and this awful system. His Noah was a gentle, kind soul and this was the last thing he deserved.

Noah

Actually the last thing he thought he'd be able to was sleep but somehow he did, almost immediately aware of nothing but Ollie's gentle but solid embrace. When he woke up there was light coming in the window, but he had no idea what time it was. He was only thinking about the sound of that boy's whimpering as he'd whipped him bloody. With sudden clarity he knew exactly what he needed to do. He padded out of the bedroom and retrieved the key off the high kitchen shelf. The playroom smelled dusty and musty with disuse never having been used in the entire time he was there. After a little bit of searching he found a flogger just like the one he'd used. Did they buy them in bulk? All that was left to repeat his performance. He sat in the center of the room and threw the flogger over his shoulder as hard as he could, over and over losing himself in the well earned pain. He'd made an innocent man feel this. He'd tortured someone. No self inflicted pain could erase that, but  at least he would know what he'd done. His sin would be etched into his skin.

Ollie

It hadn’t been the most comfortable position to sleep in, but when Noah had fallen asleep, he hadn’t wanted to move. When he woke up,  he was acutely aware of the chill that came from the other man’s absence. He must be in the bathroom, so he stayed awake — in that half asleep state, awaiting his return. In the quiet and stillness, he could faintly hear a sound he recognised from the same smack being made against his own skin. Whoever had decided now was the time to ‘play’ was an idiot, and he pushed himself out of bed, fully prepared to yell at Noah’s neighbours. Upon exiting the bedroom, the sound grew louder and he felt his whole body chill when he noticed one room, which had previously been locked, was now slightly ajar. Evidently, Noah didn’t hear him because when he stepped into the room, his boyfriend didn’t stop. Oliver didn’t know how long he stood there; frozen, horrified, chilled. His mouth was agape, and he was completely lost for words. Noah’s back was a criss-cross of angry red welts, thin lines of what looked like blood — although he couldn’t be sure from a distance in poor light. He didn’t become aware of the tears rolling down his face until he managed to speak. ‘What are you doing?’ He spoke quietly but it felt like the sound reverberated and echoed throughout the room.

Noah

Noah kept his eyes closed as he worked trying very hard to picture the man he'd whipped. This was supposed to be some kind of penance, but each painful stroke of the flogger just served push his guilt higher and higher. This was a choice. He was choosing this. The slave had no choice. He had just had to accept his torture at Noah's cruel hands. After a while the pain dissapated and all he felt was numbness and the gnawing guilt. It wasn't working and he felt dumb for thinking something so simple would absolve him. He hadn't heard Ollie come in but his quiet but pained question reverberated around the room like a gunshot. The flogger fell to the ground as he scrambled to his feet. "No... No, it's fine. Everything is fine. I'm fine." He backed away hands outstretched, palms up in some sort of mimickry of a nothing to see here gesture.

Ollie

His breathing had slowed. This wasn't panicking. He was possessed by an eerie sense of calm, something that felt almost unnatural. 'You're hurting yourself.' He stated only the facts; his mind wanted to wander and create a logical explanation, any logical explanation, but he couldn't. 'You're quite obviously not fine.' He stepped towards him, hand outstretched but he stopped short of actually touching him. There was a lump in his throat and he forced himself to swallow it down. 'Tell me what you're doing. Now. Don't -- Don't fucking lie to me anymore Noah.' There was no anger or malice in his voice. His tone was coloured entirely by fear and desperation.

Noah

"No, I am. I just... I just had to do this. Things are supposed to make sense. So I had to see...umm..feel what he felt and then it would be even." Is face scrunches up and he shook his head. "No not even. Can't really be even because I'm free. Right? But I had to know what he felt. Make it make sense. But I don't think I got it right." His voice was steady if maybe a tad manic. "I got it all wrong didn't I? You didn't want me to beat him. You would never want that." He was pacing the room now. "You're stronger and... and I don't respect that. But I was scared Ollie. You understand right? I didn't know what severe meant. I thought... I had to do it and I did it. I beat him and he bled and they let you out." He stopped pacing and looked up at Ollie. "I'm sorry." He brought his hand up to his chest to try and run the sudden tightness he felt there. "It's really hard to breath in this room isn't. Why's it so hard to breath?"

Ollie

'You're scaring me.' He wasn't scared of him, but he was scared by the way he was talking. He was desperately trying to piece together a full picture of what had happened, but it was almost impossible. His brain seemed to be working slower than it normally did, trying to comprehend and understand what he'd just seen. 'Let's just -- let's get out of here for a minute, yeah? Let's go sit outside, where it's cold and quiet and you can get some fresh air.' He wouldn't panic. He couldn't panic. Noah needed him right now, and nothing was more important than that. He touched him. Took his arm and led him out of the room. The living room seemed so much brighter. He didn't know what Noah needed first -- to have physical wounds tended to, to talk about what was going on. 'Don't close your eyes. Just look at me okay? I'm here, and we're safe and all you need to think about right now is breathing. Just keep looking at me, and breathe with me.' He didn't know what to do, but he knew he didn't want Noah to close his eyes. He suspected it was what he was seeing when he closed his eyes that was doing the damage.

Noah

He didn't want to scare Oliver. That was the last thing that he wanted. He nodded his head and let himself be led out to the living room. "Yeah... yeah. I... I'm breathing Ollie. I promise I... it's just.. that room I think." He did as his boyfriend asked though, matching his breathing to his. Every time his eyes slipped closed the image of the the slave would fill his vision and he'd snap them open to look at Oliver. After a while he moved closer. "I'll understand you know."25 April 2020

Ollie

‘Understand what Noe?’ He was scared to lift his voice to anything above a whisper. The image of Noah, the sound of the leather hitting his skin, was burned into his brain and it had shocked him to his core. Shocked him beyond what he could process or explain. His hand moved to rest Noah’s hip.

Noah

"Understand if you have to... well... if you can't be around me so much." After all Noah had left Ollie for no reason other than he thought he 'deserved better'. It was pretty reasonable that Oliver wouldn't want to be around Noah after everything he'd done. "You didn't sign up for this. But listen I didn't know. I didn't know I could torture someone. I didn't know. I never thought I would do that. You see... It's just... I don't know how to be, but I'll figure it out."

Ollie

‘Noah, I’m not leaving.’ He was scared, but he’d never been scared for himself. ‘I don’t — I’m trying to piece everything together from what you’re saying but I’m struggling.’ He didn’t know if that was because Noah’s information was disjointed or because he had just blocked parts of it out completely. ‘Can we sit down? Can you sit with me and tell me exactly what happened?’

Noah

Noah followed instructions and sat down. The marks on his back pulled a little bit, but nothing to badly. He chewed on his lip. He would rather go back to that awful room than do this, but he couldn't deny Ollie his right to know anymore.  "None of us knew, you know? We figured it would be the same... just straight up awful. That damn song, no sleeping, stupid choices to make. But... but it's wasn't like that. It was just one choice. One fucking choice." His head tilted to the side and his shoulders hunched. "H...had to whip a slave til he bled or you would get a severe punishment. I know. I know Ollie. I know I chose wrong. I think I knew that it would be disgusted in me. I just... I just I didn't know what severe punishment was and so I did it. I'm glad you didn't get hurt worse, but Ollie... Ollie... I don't know how to be now."

Ollie

He didn’t let go of Noah’s hands as he spoke. At some moments, his grip tightened marginally but he never let go. He was horrified. And disgusted. And angry, sad, hurt, shocked. But he didn’t feel those emotions towards Noah — all his anger, hate, disgust was overwhelmingly directed towards the people who had done this to his sweet, gentle Noah. It was insanity. In what world, did this constitute a punishment? This was torture. This was fucking up someone’s head, their mental health in a way that seemed impossible to fix. ‘I don’t think you chose wrong. He said softly. He wanted to cry for him. ‘I don’t think you chose wrong because I don’t think there was a right answer to choose my love.’ His breath left his lungs in a shudder. ‘I’m not disgusted with you. Or angry. I’m sad that someone forced your hand in this, I’m furious that someone orchestrated this. But you’re a victim too Noe. This isn’t just about something you did; this is — It’s something that was done to you.’

Noah

Noah was so all over the map that he was suddenly gripped by the fear that Ollie would think he meant he wanted him to be punished. "I didn't want you to get hurt." If it hadn't happened to him, if his head was a little clearer he would see that the blame lay with those who set this all into motion, but there was no way around the fact that it was his hand that held the flogger. It was he who whipped an innocent man. "I'm not though. I... I... There must have been a right answer. I just did it and I didn't think... I shoulda thought of the answer." He found himself leaning closer and closer until his body gave up and he collapsed against Ollie. "I won't ever do it again. Don't be scared. I won't ever hurt you like that. Please don't be scared." He didn't know if Oliver had really completely processed the despicable thing he did, but for the moment he'd hold tight to the  knowledge that Oliver didn't lie. If he said he wasn't disgusted, then at least for now he wasn't. There was some hope in that, wasn't there?

Ollie

‘I know, I know Noah. It’s going to be okay.’ He kept his hands off his back, not wanting to further irritate his skin. He stroked though his hair, and kissed him softly. He was completely lost for words, and he was frightened. Noah asking him not to be scared didn’t alleviate any fear. Oliver was terrified that this would break the man he loved and he’d be completely powerless. ‘You need to get some rest.’ He whispered. ‘Let me take you back to bed. I have sleeping pills; nothing too strong but something that’ll help you fall asleep and stay asleep long enough to get some real rest. I’ll tend to your back and I’ll be here when you wake up okay?’

Noah

Noah didn't have the energy to argue, not that he would have anyway. He wanted nothing more than to be with Ollie and forget all of it. He nodded. "Yeah... yeah. Sleep is good. You need to rest. They hurt you. You need to rest." He finally looked directly into Oliver's eyes. "You'll stay?" His voice sounded too lost even to his own ears.

Ollie

It was an eerie echo of the first time he’d met Noah; a fearfully muttered question, and a plea for him to stay so he didn’t have to be alone. He was as confident about his answer now as he had been back then. ‘I’m not going to go anywhere. I promise. I’ll stay with you my love.’

Noah

Ollie never left him. No matter what happened, no matter what he did, Ollie never left him. This was love. This was loyalty. This was devotion. "I love you."

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x15 Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)  good night babe

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

1  2  3  4   5  6  7  8  9  10   11   12  13 14

Giulia: Oh the music is the stupid episode kind of music

Nat: awww

Zee: Baby dean

Giulia: THE WHIMPERING 

J: I didn’t want to leave it there. And I didn't want to just kill it.

M: I’m looking for a new home

Giulia: I can be your new home bb

Nat: NO

Giulia: I DON T TRUST IT

Zee: Bamf Jack!! Two words I never thought I’d use In the same sentence

Nat: We're in Lawrence aren't we

Zee: In what year?

Scooby doo matinee 2$ . WHAT

oh look a Metallica poster. I still have that CD 

Giulia: oh look My aesthetic

Giulia: That James Dean vibe tho

What’s this stupid music.

Zee: Charming acres???

Nat: "Where Everybody's Happy" Are we in Pleasant Ville?

I don’t trust shit.

Zee: Splash

See..?

Nat: Brain-mush

Giulia: CLEAN AISLE 3

Nat: Well, good morning to my breakfast

Giulia: TRUEST REACTION on supernatural EVER

Giulia: he loves that snake

Nat: SNAKY

C: *knocks* Hey Jack?

J: I’m good Castiel. [OMG DAAAAD stop breathing on my neck]

C: [sigh, semi-soulless teenagers]

Giulia: What’s up with the all black

C: How's the snake?

J: I don't think he's feeling well. He won’t eat.

well...doesn’t snakes eat rarely tho? like....once a week or something?

Zee: He misses his previous owner

LOOK AT THAT CUTE FUCKING SOFT SMILE . FUCK YOU MISHA

C: He's been through a lot of changes in a short period of time. I guess that's something you have in common.

Nat: He's going dark

Zee: Concerned dad

C: Jack, you killed Michael. You consumed his grace.

Giulia: I. DON T. TRUST. THIS. DID HE THO?

but also.....right now I’m that granny that mistook Cas for her 3rd husband , : “you are so pretty Charles”

Nat: I feel different now.... YA THINK

J: You want to know how much of my soul I had to burn off to kill Michael.

Yeah fuck I wanna know ok.

Nat: How could he know?!

Giulia: can’t cas look it up

Nat: He could stick his hand in there.

Giulia: HE COULD

Nat: That sounded wrong

Giulia: IT DID.

Zee: Deep inside. There I made it worse

J: I try not to think about it.

BAD. 

I don’t like that hollow stare Jack, I swear to fucking god Imma slap your soul back into your body.

so I’m listening to the ep with my headphones and BOOOOOOY DID I HEAR THAT SIGH [cranking up the volume to the max and goes back]

Nat: I could eat him alive. And the sandwich

A wild Castiel appears.

C: Oh. Thought you, uh, were gonna sleep until the cows dragged you home.

D: That's not the -- Never mind.

THE *claps* DOMESTICS *claps*

AWE Cass asked about Rowena. [ what was the ship name again? Rostiel?, Caswena?Witchywings?

AWE CAS ASKED ABOUT SAM. [SASTIEEEEL]

D: I think they're both full of crap.

Of course they are, this is Supernatural. Cue painful montage! 

*jazz hands*

Giulia: Poor sam

Zee: PTSD

Nat: Sammy :(

Giulia: They were his people

Sam and his fucking trembling lips

Nat: Aw Baby let me hug you

[Dean eating]

Giulia: Das me

Nat: I'm still hungry

Zee: Damn that mouth. It’s big

Giulia: What does it do tho ? wiggling eyebrows

Zee: It eats!! Everything

S: Yeah, well... I'm leaving in ten.

C: Maybe I should go with him. And you can stay with Jack.

me : GASP YES

D: Why do you think he'll talk to me?

hE ‘S YOUR SOOOOON!

C: Well, because he looks up to you.

Dean don’t you roll your eyes at your hub. It’s impolite.

D: I was not great with Sam, you know, when he was, uh...

STOP right there. Don’t give me flashbacks

D: Well, how am I supposed to figure that out?

Cass, your Misha is slipping out, put that voice back into the cave it came out of 

C : Just talk to him. Get him to open up.

Audience : * SNORTS * yeah riiiight

C: Sleep until the cows come home.

D: There it is.

C: That's the saying.

*CLAPS* DOMESTICS

Nat: I'm hungryyyyyyyy

Zee: We’ve established that Nat

Nat: I mean.... APART FROM THIRSTYYYYYYYYYYY

Giulia: I’m eating nuts

Zee: I bet you are

Nat: Nut juice. Food against hunger and thirst. New Bumper sticker

Awe Cas is driving BB. [but where is the pimp mobile]

S: I'm good, honestly

C:  YEAH I KNOW EVERYBODY IS GOOD

UUUUUH Cas baby, get me all tingly with your sarcasm

Also write that under the series main title as a warning really. 

SUPERNATURAL :  EVERYBODY IS GOOD

Listen Sam, baby, I can hear your voice breaking, stop with the bullshit.

C is like....you can fill so much bullshit in that moose body

S: we don't have as many Hunters as we used to.

OUCH

Zee: Cas learnt how to use his badge

Giulia: Lame

Nat: "We're FBI..."

Look how cute my baby is...look at him *sobs*

C: Was it more "Scanners" 1, 2, or 3? 

OH WOW, IS CAS BEING DEAN RIGHT NOW?  (because I’m all for it.)

Giulia: I bet dean made him watch that.

Nat: Charming Acres

Nat: I don't wanna live there

Giulia: I DOOOOO

Zee: It’s creepy ffs

Nat: It's all shades of fucked up. I mean, look!

LOVE IT

C: It's like we're stepping into a Saturday Evening Post. I look at them sometimes after you fall asleep at night. They're very soothing.

I had to google that , not gonna lie. Also....HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THAT?! 

Giulia: DEM HAAAAAIR THO.

Giulia: FOXY WIFE

Zee: Foxy wife

S: What was that?

Giulia: i love that time, minus the racism and patriarchy and the war.

Nat: What is wrong with these people

Giulia: Living my dream ok

Zee: Oh shut up babe

Nat: I don't like perfect

Giulia: Cas and his bed hair

Giulia: DEM MILKSHAKES. I BET THERE IS SOMETHING IN THERE

Zee: Something fishy, lass

Sammy likes them milkshakes tho

Is it just my impression or Cas is running out of fucks this season?? I love it.

FLATFOOTS

Zee&Nat: We take care of each other.

mmm, don’t like that

Zee: Don’t like the way that sounded

Giulia: suspicious

Mayor: They said something about an aneurysm or something?

C:

Zee: His head exploded

Nat: His head exploded

Giulia: OH NO HIS HEAD EXPLODED

Zee: Gotta love Cas

Giulia&Nat: Like a ripe melon on the sun

Giulia: GOTTA LOVE HIM

Sam panicking.

S: "Like a ripe melon on the sun"?

C: It was an apt metaphor.

As I said : Angel out of fucks

S: Okay, well, maybe next time try to be a little less...apt.

C: The entire town is so strangely picturesque.

Giulia: I KNOOOOOW! , Can I go there?

Zee: NOOOOOOO

Nat: We wouldn't let you

Giulia: Dat dress.

Nat: Bonding time

Jack just gave the snake the cookie crunch , sobs so pure....for now

J: I think he’s sad

Nat: Have you tried bacon

Bacon....the solution to everything. I mean....not wrong, it’s delicious.

Giulia:  so dorky

Sniffs Chinese food

D: Well, anyway, you and the, uh, snake...want to go for a little dri-ive?

gets mice .

Nat: mice scare him?

ok but Dean is that squeamish sometimes . It’s hilarious.

...because the mice scared me and I need confort. Also I’ll probably avoid Chinese food for a month so there’s that.

Nat: Ahhh... Jack really talks to that thing

Woman: Not people. Men. I only rent to young men. It's not proper -- young women living alone?

Nat: MORALS. GOTTA HAVE MORALS

*looks at Castiel*

Woman: You know.

...C i like....what

me: sHe fLirtS

Nat: Ya still wanna go there, @Giulia

Zee: She’ll say yes

Giulia: YEAH. Y’all can’t stop me

Zee: See? I’ll tie you down bitch just watch

Nat: Ya CAnT LiVE oN YOuR oWn

Giulia: I’ll work at the diner

Time for some SNOOPING 

Giulia: So much hand porn for me

C: - they're...surprisingly passionate.

Sam with a tiny ass cup ready for some gossiping: Passionate how?

Castiel without a speck of blush: She spends, uh, quite a bit of time talking about the -- the shape and the heft of his --

Zee: Such a tiny cup

Please tell me there a DICK PICK in there lol

S: It's getting late, Cass. And you're right. I-I probably need some rest.

oh noe

C: You want to stay here? 

S: Why not? Ms. Dowling's making pot roast.

OH NOE

Nat: I can smell head explosion

Zee: I can smell the bleach they’ll use

Nat: And there you go

Giulia: NICE  I can live in that fantasy idc 

Nat: You won't have us

Giulia: I wouldn’t know

Zee: Impossible. We’re seeped in your bones

Giulia: You can’t miss what you don’t remember

Nat: Yo head's going to explode when you remember, Giuls

D: Why don't you grub up? We still got another couple hours.

J: I'm not really hungry.

I DON’T LIKE IT

D: Give him one of these. I bet he's never had that before.

DEAN NO

J:  I don't think you have a firm grasp on what snakes eat.

Zee: Uncomfortable dean

D: Yeah, I always thought they were kind of cool, though.

Nat: Aww...adorable Dean

Giulia: I thrive out of these moments

Zee: Road trip with dad

D: Mm. Well, it's not the snake that's dangerous. It's their...bite.

J:  Is -- Is that a saying?

D: It is now.

Nat: hahah... is Dean looking with one he's going to pick?

Nat: Dad move

Giulia: Was that really a way to test jack? With CAKES

Nat: Dean move

Sam’s room is empty

Giulia: Weird Sam time

Zee: Not good

Nat: I told ya

Giulia: Das me jamming

Giulia: He so awkward

Giulia: HALLO!

Giulia: No i don t eat.I'm looking for my partner.

Mrs B: Oh. The very nice, the very tall fella?

Castiel angel of the lord? more like Castiel angel of I’VE RUN OUT OF FUCKS

Mrs.B: Hm. He said he's going for a walk. [pause ]  And a milkshake.

Giulia: Still me jamming,  ‘He’s got tan shoes with pink shoelaces’

Nat: yeah i mean, what's with her. all of a sudden a new husband?

Nat: My partner

Giulia: I’m looking  my partner

Nat: The tall man - yes the very tall man

Zee: The very tall. Man

Giulia: I WOULD HAVE DIED. CAN HE GRAB MY HANDS TOO

Nat: Mr smith is gone long live Mr smith

Giulia: I would like a martini yes

Zee: I was waiting for this

C: Hair? ---He has beautiful hair?

Giulia: HE HAS

Nat: he has beautiful hair

Giulia: BEAUTIFUL HAIR

Giulia: THIS IS COMPLICATED . Cas is like...... WHAT IS THIS I WAS NOT PROGRAMMED FOR THIS. PEOPLE . PEOPLE SKILL. NOT FUNCTIONING .

Giulia: OH LOOK THAT’S MY MOM

Nat: what

Nat: the

Nat: fuck

Giulia: i’m loving this cas

C: I'm so sorry, but last night, his head, um --

Giulia: he had to pause

Giulia: That laugh was creepy

Nat: How about that martini?

Mrs. Smith : No...my husband he’s good.

[ SNORTS ]

Nat: OH god... no I need a drink

Nat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: ...

Nat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: EW

Nat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nat: That pony tail

Zee: I don’t like this

Giulia: THAT’S SWELL

Nat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JUSTIN NO GOOD

what’s up wITH THE FUCKING POT ROAST ?

Nat: Honey, make me one too! Dammit

Giulia: SAME I NEED 5

Zee: A round of martinis please

C: This is not your house.

Justin!Sam : 

Justin!Sam :  You're right. This is my wife's house. I am simply living here.

Giulia: OH YOU

C: Something terrible's happened.

you right, those hair happened

Justin!Sam: I'm feeling adventurous.

Nat: Rawr ?

Giulia: NO

Giulia: I CAN T

Zee: I can’t process

Justin!Sam : So that's a no-no on the hooch?

I think Jared had too much fun in this. I WANT ALL THE BLOOPERS PLEASE PLEASEEEEE

Giulia: I’m laughing so much

Nat: You watch your mouth

Giulia: SIR U WATCH UR MOUTH

Zee: Skedaddle

Nat: I don't wear a hat , dammit I.... uh

Zee: Bitch

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Justin!Sam : Sir, using language like, uh, "H-E-double hockey sticks" --

Nat: Wash your mouth out with soap?

Giulia: GUYS, I haven’t had this much fun on spn in a long time.

I can’t breathe

Zee: I’m dying here

Nat: Double hockey sticks?

oh....OH.....I GOT IT NOW....GOLLY...WHAT THE HECKIE

Nat: STILL WANNA LIVE THERE?

Giulia: YEAH SHUT UP

Nat: ZETa

Zee: What?

Nat: Giuls is willing to leave us and go live there

Giulia: I LIKE THE AESTHETICS

Zee: As I said. Not possible. The amount of the insanity that she has shared with us won’t let her

Donatello : Ah, I am just the picture of health. Except for my prostate. It's shaped like a papaya.

...THANK YOU BB

also...do you guys think the Winchester get their prostate checked? or do they call.....Doctor Novak? (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

Nat: Dena really doesn't like snakes. Dean. Not Dena. Well, maybe Dena too. I wouldn't know

Giulia: We don’t judge

Zee: Never

Giulia: I LOVE HIM

Giulia: God sister snacked on it

Giulia: That’s a big ass cup

Nat: That's a big cup

Zee: Black hole

Giulia: ...

Giulia: This succession of texts is cursed

Nat: Not going there, Giuls

Zee: Again. I concur

Giulia: I ain’t said shit ya pervs

Zee: YET

Nat: You were thinking it. That's enough

Zee: ABOUT TO SAY IT

Giulia: You two were thinking it too , get off that high horse

Zee: offended gasp

J: And when it was gone, how did you -- how'd you feel?

Donatello: Like...the galaxy. You know, Jack, our galaxy's all bright and shiny and spinny, but in its center lies this very large black hole.

Donatello: I'm all bright and shiny, obviously. Not so much spinny  But inside? Empty.

Donatello : Losing your soul doesn't make you bad It doesn't make you anything. It's, um... an absence of...of pity, of empathy...of humanity.

J: I know I don't feel...nothing, but I don't feel the same, either. And maybe I just don't know what nothing feels like. Mostly, I just don't want Sam and Dean and Cass to worry. I just -- I need time and space to figure things out on my own, but everywhere I go, there's someone looking over my shoulder.

Giulia: I get that boo 

Nat: MAKE ME CRY JACK

J: Sam and Dean are the best men I know.

Nat:  FUCK YOU. I'M CRYING 

Donatello : whenever you don't want them to worry just think "WWWD" -- "What Would the Winchesters Do?"

Giulia: Pew pew pew pew pew pew. That’s what they’ll do. Sex stares. Bitchfaces. Bacon. Rocking off. Kill monsters. BOOKS. 

Zee: Kicking asses, taking names

Giulia: Kick names , take ass

Nat: there goes giuls

Zee: Oh babe!!!  Right there

Nat: I should not engage in this convo because it's going to be dirty

Zee: He’s not like you?!

Donatello : I suppose the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a soul?

D: Donny.

Donny: What?

Nat: He seems ok

Nat: SEEMS

Donny: Jack's probably the most powerful being in the universe. [Creepy music starts to play....I sweat]  I mean, really, who knows what's going on inside his head?

Giulia: I like donatello

D [ with the anxiety of a thousands suns ] : ...thanks

Zee: Erotic musings

Giulia: Cas saying “steamy” and “erotic” is making me tingling

Zee: Rip it from your ...

YOU KNOW WHAT HE CAN RIP OFF ME THO?

Nat: BAMF CAS

Giulia: And this too

Nat: Of course it's him

Zee: What are you ?

Nat: Sam's so tall

Zee&Giuls: The squint

Zee: Giuls shut up

Mayor: and no matter what I did, people would turn to drink or drugs, they'd move away.

Giulia: Oh boo hoo .Let me do drug in peace.

Mayor: ...And you know what happened next?

C:  No, but I have a feeling you're gonna tell me.

[I’m all out of fucks anyway ]

Giulia: THE SNARK

C: I won't hurt you, Sam.

Justin!Sam:  Golly, I told you my name is Justin!

Giulia: GOLLY

Nat: Justin!Sam is this a thing now?

Giulia: i hope

Zee: Giuls. That’s all for you. Cas kicking ass

Giulia: I know I’m sweating. Look at this shit

H    O    T

Giulia: NO IDC ABOUT THEM LEMME SEE CAS

C: Fight this! 

J S: Why? I'm happy in Charming Acres.

Giulia: THAT’s US

Nat: That's us against Giuls

C: Sam, I know you want to be happy. And I know what it's like to lose your army. I know what it's like...to fail as a leader, Sam. But you can't lose yourself.

You have to keep fighting.

You can't lose yourself, because if you do, you fail us. You fail all of those that we've lost. You fail Jack. Sam, you fail Dean.

Nat: make me cry

Giulia: omg I’m crying

Giulia: I’m cryiiing and I’m tired of seeing Cas and that fucking blade like that ok.STOP IT. [ going into MOC Dean ptsd ]

Zee: Lool

Nat: OH no no brain explosion please

Zee: I’m god

Giulia: We met god. God has a beard

Zee: God has a beard

Giulia: God is ma dad

Nat: NO

Giulia: YAS QUEEN

Zee: I like her now

Giulia: make his head go splat

Zee: Vegetable

Giulia: Psh lame

Nat: hey, not bad huh?

Giulia: Laaaaame

Zee: You needed the splat!

Nat: you know lame when you get there giuls

Zee: Nat. We’ve established we won’t let her

Giulia: BuT ThE dREsSeS

Giulia: God dean

Nat: Dean stop being adorable

j: It was...illuminating

D ... the fuck, stop talking like your angel father.

D: Heard you wore a cardigan.

C:  Yeah, I told him about the cardigan.

S: Great. Thanks.

D: And the wife.

Giulia: What about the ponytail

Giulia: Wait, Cas and dean talked about it on the phone [dies]

D: Well, not a lot of happy goin' on around here.

Nat: Wow, Dean feel a stab in his heart

S:  I hate this place right now. I hate it.

S:  Everywhere I look, I see them. I see Maggie. I guess that's why, uh -- why I was so desperate to get out of here, why I kept running us ragged. But I got to stop that. I-I can't keep running. I -- This is my home.

This is our home.

Dean, I think I just need some time.

Giulia: Yeah same

Nat: Sammy babe

Zee: How couldn’t they have

Giulia: Awe this is the hurt Sammy season. Again

D:  Okay.

Giulia: STAPH

Giulia: WITH

Giulia: THAT

Giulia: LOOK

Giulia: JARED

Zee: Sam needs a million years in therapy

Nat: You need help

Giulia: NO

Zee: Oh no

Giulia: I DON T LIKE IT

J: Sam and Dean would help you, so -- so I'll help you.

Nat:. Nah, Dean wouldn't

J: I'll help you see your friend again. 

Giulia: FUCKING

Nat: No

Giulia: NO

J:  In Heaven.

Nat: What

Giulia: JAAACK

Nat: Jack

Giulia: THank god cas saw it

Nat: Wtf

Zee: Yeah. That wasn’t good

Giulia: Oh shuttttt uuuup

Giulia: PROMO

Zee: Dean in a suit. Alien vs predator

Nat: Creepy, me likey

Giulia: Eh

Nat: OK babes, i gotta go. Nat: See ya! it was a pleasure.

Zee: Always

Giulia: Go have some milkshake

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

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[dietaku]

Amazing Quest 1: Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Masochism meets Machismo The party is very violently ejected over the horizon. The camera pans overhead some distance to a small island out in the middle of the ocean, where we couldn't get previously, due to a coral reef and a dialog box explaining how there's a migratory wave of sea sponges and that it's highly illegal to interfere with their trek. The party comes crashing down through the roof of the inn, whereupon the innkeeper, a slim woman in a white-n-black horizontally striped shirt and a tilted beret rushes over. Unlike other characters in the game so far, this character and the others in this town have their dialog appear on-screen little by little, accompanied by a MIDI attempting to sound like bongo drums accompanying beat poetry, even if text speed is set to max. Innkeep: Whoa. Like... are you lot okay? Hiro: I... I think so... I think I have the right number of body parts remaining. Why does that keep happening? What even happened?! Ozma: Where are we...? Innkeep: Welcome, my groovy soul sisters, to Toneland. The hippest, most forward-thinking culture on the entire planet. You are safe here. Hiro: Thank goodness. Had we landed in enemy territory, we'd have been overtaken easily. Innkeep: I didn't mean you, man-ling. Hiro: Beg pardon? Innkeep: As I said, we are a forward-thinking culture, free from the restrictions placed upon us by the pale, patriarchal penis people! Hiro: I'm at a loss for words, I'm afraid. Innkeep: Good. Your ungroovy way of speaking is such a downer. Lucky for you, I'm bilingual, but the people of this country speak only Beat Poetry and Interpretive Dance. If you want to get anywhere, you'll need at LEAST a set of bongo drums and a beret. Hiro: … Loyroll, this one's all yours. Loyroll: Hiro, my friend, I'm just gay, not a beat poet. This game was actually considered extremely revolutionary because of this line, fun fact. So, now we can stay at the inn (if we put Ozma, Mancala, or Kimyawa on point to do so. She'll scoff at any attempt made by Hiro or Loyroll.) and if we do so, she'll actually explain our next steps. Kimyawa/Ozma/Mancala: So, where would we get bongos and a beret at this hour? Innkeep: Well, these items aren't just for sale, no ma'am. You'll need to find special, custom-made gear found only in select locations. Whichever Female: What locations are those? Innkeep: You'll know them by their extremely pretentious attitudes and the overpowering smell of overpriced coffee. That's all I can tell you for now. Here, an optional scene can cue, if you opted to raise Kimyawa in the virtual pet game instead of Stinky. Ozma: Okay, you heard her! Can you get the scent, girl? Kimyawa: Yip! Yip! Yip! Ozma: Okay? You got it? Go get it! Kimyawa: Yip! Yip! Kimyawa points to the west wall, with a MIDI of yipping cuing as she does so. Ozma: Good job! Mancala: West? Mermania is to the west... and they DO have overpriced coffee... it's a start... Ozma: One more question? Kimyawa: Hai? Ozma: What DOES the fox say? Kimyawa: It says “DON'T BE RACIST, YOU FUCK!” Ozma: I was just curious!!! Kimyawa then rushes over and climbs up, sitting on Loyroll's shoulder as she pouts. Loyroll: There, there, Kimyawa, I'll get you some ice cream. Kimyawa: Hai! Ice cream, desu! This was likely added to help players along, as this was otherwise a bit of a guessing game. When you leave town, the sea sponge migration has ended here, and you can freely go to Mermania again where there is, indeed, a coffee house. However, we have more pressing matters to attend to, and the plotline in ToneLand cannot be triggered until we do it: remember how Deima left before? Well, we need to go get her again, this time permanently. So, remember where you found her the first time? The Aero Spire? Guess where we're going? This time, however, we can walk in and find her in her bed, asleep. Hiro: … Deima, are you serious? Kimyawa: Deima-chan, wake up! The game devs almost forgot to put you in this chapter! Deima's hand raises up, pointing to a note, on the far wall. Hiro goes over to it. Hiro: It says “I am asleep, due to a horrible curse, and only a noble knight's kiss can undo the spell.” Wait, this wasn't here before! Hiro flips the note over. Hiro: “And no amount of sass will get you around it, either.” This sure was a well thought-out hoax... Well, obviously, it should be... At this point, we're prompted to pick one of our party members. -If you pick Hiro- Hiro: What?! Why me?! I'm not really “noble” and I'm not a “knight” strictly speaking, as that mandates being, y'know, knighted. By, like, royalty. Loyroll: Well, Ozma's royalty. So, doesn't that, by extension, make you her knight? Hiro: Err, well... um... oh, fine. Hiro goes to Deima, visibly taking in a deep breath. Hiro: Only because it's helping someone. It's helping someone in need, right? Kimyawa: (Yeah, helping with Deima's adult needs...) Hiro bends down and pecks her on the cheek. He then rises and waits a moment. Hiro: … ? Did it not work? Maybe I'm under-qualified for the position after all. Deima: Seriously, that's all I get?! Not even on the mouth?! Hiro: … Oh yay. Deima is now safe. Clearly this was in no way predictable. Deima: AND WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SASS?! I mean-- the note... say about sass! I swear, every frickin' time the world is in danger from some amorphous evil entity, you come crawling to me like “OH NOES, SAVE US DEIMA-SAMA” and then I'm all “A'ight, bitches, stand aside!” and then we win, and then you bastards shack up with the nearest princess you can find and I'm left with reruns of the WWE! There is no justice in this universe!! -If you pick Ozma- Ozma: Okay, baby, here I come! Hiro: Say what? Ozma just grabs Deima's head and locks lips with her rather... roughly. Deima visibly flails her arms helplessly here. After a few moments, Deima goes blue and her eyes roll back in her head as she goes limp. At this point, Ozma releases her. Ozma: Fuwaaa! So, that's what you get for being stupid about this. Deima: uuuuuuuuungh... Loyroll: You do realize that, someday, you will die of a broken pelvis, right? Hiro: What...? -If you pick Kimyawa- Kimyawa: Eeeeeeh?! Watashi?! B-but I've never kissed a boy before! … Wait! She's a GIRL! Therefore, it's alright! Okay! I'll do my very best!! Kimyawa ninja-warps atop Deima's bed. She chucks a smoke pellet to the ground, which grays them out for a moment. When the smoke screen dies down, Kimyawa her has hands on each side of her face, blushing. Deima is sitting upright, a shocked expression on her face. Deima: W-what... just happened to me...? And why am I okay with it? Kimyawa: Kawawawawawa! -If you pick Loyroll- Loyroll: Ugh. Must I? Very well, but you owe me for this... Deima: HEY! ASSHOLE! Kissing me is a PRIVILEGE! Loyroll: Huh?! You want -ME- to kiss -YOU-?! … Fine. I shall do so with the utmost in style and grace, but purely to prove a point. Deima: Huh? Loyroll leans in and a brief animation of him licking Deima's nose plays. Deima: … AAAAAAAAAAAAA--!!! Loyroll: Yup. Still got it. -If you pick Mancala- Mancala: Wait, ME?! Why me?! Ugh. I already told you, I'm only a LITTLE into girls! Fine, fine... Mancala climbs astride Deima and... gets a little too into it. Hiro: You can stop now. It said just to kiss her, not to play tonsil hockey. Mancala: Sorry, I started thinking of all the MONEY this scene alone could make me in the long-run, and it just got my motor going! Deima: Is that all I am to you?! Just a cash cow?! … Well, okay, but I better get a cut too. Loyroll: Something-something-there certainly IS a cow involved-something. Mancala: Trying to cut into MY bottom line? Um, sorry, it's not me, it's you... Sadly, the New Game+ characters don't get their own scenes. God only knows what would happen if you tried to make Deima make out with herself. At any rate, Deima rejoins! This time for keeps. And, at long last, you may return to Mermania. Inside the coffee shop, you'll see a merman barkeep and we'll need to speak to him. Mancala: Yo, barkeep. A thimble of coffee with three layers of foam and cinnamon sprinkled on top! Barkeep: That'll be 25,000 currencies. Mancala: Ooo, must have a sale on right now! Barkeep: What do you want, Manny? Last time I worked with you, I spent 4 months in community service before I could re-apply for my vendor's license. Mancala: The past is in the past! Barkeep: It was FOUR MONTHS AGO! Mancala: God, you're so overly pedantic... I just need to know where I can get my hands on a set of bongos. You gonna tell me or do I need to tell the health department that you spell it “expresso”? Barkeep: Th-there's no need to get violent! You did not hear this from me, but in the kelp fields to the north-east, there's a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy... you can get your damnable bongos there. Now, out. I don't want the fuzz to think I'm still on-board with your schemes. Mancala: Thank you~! Hiro: Mancala, what kind of schemes is he on about? Ozma: Gee, I dunno. Maybe like the time she shilled us and then sold us for chump change to the village head. Mancala: The past is in the past! Let's go to the kelp fields! The kelp fields were an area we could've visited prior to now, but the enemies would've been too strong, and there wouldn't have been anything there but a few mundane healing items in chests for our trouble. Once we have this bit of intel, we can go there and a blue whale, with a beret not dissimilar to the ones seen in Toneland, and Otto the Octopus await us! Hiro: Oh no, not him again! Otto: Thaaaaaaaaat's right~! Me again! Let's welcome our very special guests, the Pudding Hero and his friends~! A burst of confetti rains down as the weird, pixelated fish come on screen, and shake in wild applause again. Loyroll: That will never cease to mystify, will it? Kimyawa: Etto... The fish then retreat to whence they came. Otto: Today's Lucky Bonus Challenge is a competition of luck and reflex to get your very own custom-fit BONGO DRUM SET! Today, Hiro's challenger is none other than Wally Whale. Give it up for our competitors. Hiro: Is this actually happening, or has my life become a long-running fever dream? Ozma: Should I pinch you to find out? Hiro: I-I'd really rather you didn't, actually! Hiro hurriedly runs to the stool on the opposite side of the table from Wally and sits down. Wally: Oh-ho?! You're my challenger, ehh?! Hiro: He just said you're my-- Wally: WELL I WON'T GO DOWN EASY, Y'HEAR?! Hiro: I do hear you, I'm less than four feet away. There's really no need to yell at-- Wally: I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH MY FINS OF IRON AND MY BUNS OF STEEL! Ozma: Do... do whales HAVE buns? Loyroll: The things that keep me awake at night... Otto: Today's Super Lucky Bonus Challenge is... BINGO!!! Kimyawa: Bingo? That boring game obaa-chan liked? Otto: A game of luck! A thrilling game of chance and challenge! Hiro: There's... literally no challenge, it's blind lu-- Wally: YEEEEEEAH! LET'S ROOOOOCK!!! This minigame is... dumb. I hate to say it but... it is. I even tried abusing this with save states, but the RNG is not player-friendly. You begin by picking one of three 5x5 bingo cards with the Griffohump, Stinky, as your FREE space in the center square. Then Otto reads out numbers and you must, manually, move Hiro's hand in order to place blue tokens on your card. You can do this to also remove them if you place them in the incorrect spot (and you will, as Hiro places the tokens slightly lower than his fingers, aimed more under his palm, which the player cannot see for obvious reasons). Otto also does this SLIGHTLY faster than the player can be expected to keep pace, as Hiro's hand moves very slowly during this bit. The devil of it is that if the card is incorrect in any way (such as having a token in a number not called, or not having a token in a space that was called, even if these have no impact of the result of the game) you lose, EVEN IF YOU GET THE BINGO FIRST!!! Oh my God, this is nothing but a colossal timesink! But, eventually, if you keep trying at it, you will inevitably win or go crazy. One or the other. On the bright side, losing just resets the game and you try again. Otto: WE HAVE A WINNER!!! HIRO!!! Hiro: … Um. I'm glad. So, do I get the bongos no-- Wally: NOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAY!!! YOU CHEATED! Hiro: How do you propose I did so? Wally: I'LL CRUSH YOU! Hiro: Wait, what?! -Boss Fight!- Wally Whale LP: 12,000 MP: 5000 This battle hits most by surprise, especially as there's random encounters and no save spot in this area, and Hiro is forced into this on a one-on-one here, hence his vastly lowered HP. Wally mostly relies on his single-punch attack which does decent damage, but will sometimes shake it up with his Aquatic Qualer attack, which oddly enough, is coded to hit All Targets, meaning it always deals 75% damage, making it weaker than his punch. Hiro can't use his swirls here, meaning that you'll be just attacking normally. Low level runners typically find this infuriating, however. I guess Jeffcom just hates them. Grinding is love, grinding is life. Using your Rice Pudding form has Wally call you a “Huge Nerd” and bolsters his attack strength by 25%. -Boss Fight!- Wally: NOOOOO-- Wally then explodes. Hiro: … Well, alright then. So, do I get the bongos or not? Otto: Here you go! Hiro gets the key item: Custom Bongos! Hiro: While I'm here anyway, do you know where I could get a ber-- Otto: AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS! Let's have a big ol' round of sound for our champion gameshow hero, Hiro! Cue the shaking, pixel fish. Kimyawa: I will be seeing them in my nightmares, no doubt. Hiro: Are we done here? Otto: That's a wrap everyone! Good job! Otto then scurries off-screen. Hiro: Now what do we do? Loyroll: When the path forward is blocked, the logical thing to do is double back to where we were before and see if new doors haven't opened to us in lieu of the closed one. Kimyawa: Onii-chan, you just mean you have no idea so we need to just try every option until something works! Loyroll: Yes, but I said it more eloquently, dear sister. Ho-ho! And this is the part that drove most players insane. You actually DO need to backtrack. … To FirstTown. Yes. Remember some 20-25 hours ago, where the game started? That's where we need to go next. “Haha!” I hear some of you say, “I've been level grinding and now Mancala has the TownStep ability, meaning I can just instantly warp there! Joke's on you!” well, I hate to break it to you, but you can't do that. You haven't slept in FirstTown's inn. You've either had the elder heal you or sleep in Hiro's bed... which the game doesn't register, on account that the inn was destroyed. “W-well, I'll just warp to the nearest town and, uh...” suddenly, you realize the problem as most of the towns we've visited thus far as now piles of rubble. Some of them because of us! … So, better get to walkin', champ. You'll find the nearest town is Toruble, which isn't as awful as walking there from Mermania, but isn't exactly next-door either, as Hiro got sped there via flight. But when we get there at this point, it's actually rebuilt and has an inn and everything! When you arrive, a cutscene cues even! Hiro: Elder! I return triumphant! With my allies in tow, I-- The Elder is speaking to a young boy, with a sword slung over his shoulder. Elder: So, with our previous “last hope” likely dead and buried, we need you, Ladd, to bravely go forth and-- OH! HIRO! The Elder very quickly kicks the boy into the nearest door and stands in front of it. Elder: Ho-ho! Good jokes! Hiro: … Ozma: Oh dear... I think what little ego he managed to grow over this journey just came crashing down... Do you need a hug? Hiro: Yes. All of them. Bring it in here, you guys. Yes, even you, Loyroll. The party briefly encircles Hiro, who jumps a little. The party steps back. Hiro: Okay, that was super sweet, up until someone pinched my butt. Just... if you raise your hand and confess, I won't get mad. Who dun it? Everyone in Hiro's party raises their hand. Hiro: I lied, I'm kind of mad now. Elder: What a... pleasant surprise to see you, Hi-- Hiro: CAN IT, OLD MAN!!! Do you know what I've been THROUGH?! Do you know how many of my fellow Puddings I've had to KILL?! That kid? That CHILD?! You think he can HACK IT?! I'VE SEEN PEOPLE EXPLODE!!! EXPLODE!!! Can you explain that?! I don't think you can!!! Or are you gonna feed me yet another non-answer, like when Emilia tried to explain puberty to me by calling it a “Witch's Curse” that I'd have to shoulder like some kind of monkey's paw wish?! OH! And the PROPERTY DAMAGE! I hope the world has an insurance policy taken out against me, because Lulz knows they FREAKING NEED IT ABOUT NOW!!! Have YOU even seen a town come caving in around you when you were just minding your own business? It's like the gods themselves are saying “Hey, did you get all the items and side quests from this place? Golly, I sure hope so, 'CUZ IT'S FALLING FASTER THAN THE COMMODITY MARKET!!! Oh, and my PUDDING MORPH?! You guys didn't even EXPLAIN IT TO ME CORRECTLY! Oh my G-- where do I even START there?! My Rice Pudding form LOWERS MY STATS?! And I can FUSE with people?! DID SOMEONE THINK TO EXPLAIN THAT PART TO ME?! NO?! CUZ I HAD THE SOUL OF ONE OF MY ANCESTORS ASK ME TO BARTER MY FRIENDS' LIVES TO FIND OUT!!! Just... Lulz damn it, old man!!! Elder: I don't suppose I could bribe you with a sammich? Hiro: Just... stop talking. In fact, don't talk to me. Ever. You're dead to me, old man. Elder: Oh, poop. I guess I shouldn't tell you about the lost treasures of our tribe then... 'cuz, I had them out on a rowboat, and suddenly, this beautiful mermaid comes out of nowhere and I... kind of dropped them. And due to mermaid magic, they all ended up in different bodies of water across the planet. Hiro: [High-pitched, pathetic whine] Elder: Totally not my fault, though! I was keeping them for, y'know, safe-keeping! So, let me make it up to you by teaching you an ancient pudding technique! Hiro: Sigh. Okay, old man, it's not like I have a choice, given I live in your house. What's the technique? Elder: The Pudding Tribe prides itself on their masterful fishing ability! Hiro: Hm. I could lose a few hours of my life doing this... Elder: And some years too! Hiro: Pardon? Elder: We don't use like, sticks or twine or anything stupid like that. We place our arms in the water and flail them about helplessly until something takes a bite! In which case, we pull them out via brute force! And that's how you go fishing! Hiro: … Wh-why is everything our tribe do STUPID?! Elder: My boy, my boy... have you never considered that, maybe, uh, one cow says unto another... um... w-well, maybe it's the nature of our clan in that we... err... w-well, I bet you'd be PERFECTLY HAPPY being one of our Dark Pudding brothers! Shall I get you your own little jackboots so you can stomp all over the little guy's freedom?! Hiro: Oh, Lulz help me... Elder: Oh, and one more thing. Hiro: W-what? Elder: I turned your bedroom into my exercise room! Hiro: But what happened to my comics and action figures?! Elder: Those were all destroyed in the house fire! Hiro: Noooooooooooooo-- ugh-- my life's a joke. Hiro obtained: Crippling Depression! This isn't a special attack or item or anything. It's a status. Hiro is depressed and this lasts a while. It will randomly interrupt normal attacks with “Hiro assumes fetal position and weeps openly about the future of his clan”. Even Ozma's otherwise extremely potent “Qipao BoinBoin” technique won't cure this, nor will Kimyawa's “Fox Massage”. However, this only lasts a set number of battles before he shrugs this off, so it's better to get this as early as possible and get it out of the way. It's just another reason this fetch quest is considered the worst of all of Amazing Quest's. Anyways, now we can sleep in the inn here, making it so we can warp here at-will and sleep at an inn for just 5 gold! This is also the town where the other coffee house has now appeared and the server here is not only a unique sprite, she eventually returned in Amazing Quest's sister series, AQ: Coke Float, Lady L. Lady: Welcome to the new FirstTown Coffee Hut: FarLucks! I'm the hostess, Lady! How can I help you? Loyroll: I'll have an inside-out pudgy brunette frappe with extra caramel machiatto blasse half caf. Hiro: Uh, did you ask for coffee or a girlfriend? Loyroll: Did I or did I not already explain my preferences to you, Hiro? Oh, I can't stay mad at you... Loyroll pinches Hiro's cheek. Hiro: Bleeeeeeh... Kimyawa: Etto... we're looking for a beret, kinda like the one you're wearing! Lady: Oh, I got mine by getting a dream cookie. Kimyawa: Ettoooooooo... Hiro: So, where do we get one of those? Lady: Oh, it's not that simple. You need the dream cookie, and then you go to the birdhouse at the Edge of Tomorrow. Hiro: Are we SURE this isn't a fever dream? Ozma: I already pinched your butt! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! Kimyawa: Demo, Ozma-chan, dane, dane! Yamate! Hiro: … Uh, right-o then. So, this, uh, Dream Cookie... Lady: Right, you get that by going to the World Tree and sleeping in the cocoon of the Grand Empress Butterfly. Simple as that. Hiro: I... where's... that...? Lady: Just head north and keep on walking. Can't miss it. Hiro: Right. Thanks... So, head north and you'll find a handy bridge linking you to a small island that was previously inaccessible. There, you'll find a huge tree and a path formed from criss-crossing roots you can traverse. Some minor insect monsters appear here, but none are too terribly bothersome. Not that Munchkin Moths, Kittypillers, and Were-Ants are all that threatening to start, but eventually, you'll see a massive, silk structure dangling from a branch above. Hiro: O... kay. I guess this is it. Can I get a boost? Ozma and Kimyawa grab and toss Hiro up into it. Hiro: Um... Mancala: So, how is it? Hiro: Warm, I guess? … Kinda damp? Not so wild about that. But I guess I'll catch a quick power nap... The scene goes sepia, where Hiro is sitting in a field with Emilia, having a picnic. Hiro: Wow. I'm spending quality time with my sister and I'm not being violently brained or ridiculed! This is going great! Emilia: Hiro... Hiro... Hiro... Hiro...! Hiro: WHAT?! Hiro snaps awake, blinking a few times. Hiro: Oh, c'mon! That was IT?! I finally get a NICE sepia tone flashback and that's the extent?! Nothing even really happened! The narrator just claimed some stuff happened! Loyroll: That's not important, my friend, did it work? Hiro: Umm...? Hiro reaches atop his head, where a cookie sits. Hiro: Apparently, it did! Hiro got Dream Cookie. He then climbs down from the sack. Insert joke of choice here. But as he does, a shrill sound plays. Hiro: Wait, what was--? A massive, purple butterfly dives down, engaging the party! -Boss Fight!- Empress Butterfly LP: 30000 MP: 7000 The obnoxious part of this fight is that this bitch can spam pretty much every ailment with its [Ailment] Pollen attacks, which it brandishes with abandon. Ozma and Kimyawa are basically not optional for this fight if you want a chance of not getting ailment'd to death. Its means of dealing direct damage are quite limited, sans its “Antenna Wave” which hits everyone for wind based damage. However, using Ozma and Kimyawa's earth-based techs or Ozma's pudding swirl and exploiting its naturally low physical defense is the way to go. -Boss Fight!- Hiro: That was non-sequitor. Loyroll: There's no helping it. Let us return to the cafe for further clues! And... well, do so! There, Lady will fill us in more. Lady: Great! You got the dream cookie! Hiro: Did YOU have to fight a giant bug to get one? Lady: No, why? Hiro: Just asking. Lady: Now, you need to go to the Edge of Tomorrow. Kimyawa: You mean like staying up all night and playing truth or dare and waiting until midnight? Lady: Uh, no, not so much. I'd be lying to say I didn't try that too, but the Edge of Tomorrow is a real place! What happened in Girl Pudding Summer Camp STAYS in Girl Pudding Summer Camp... A-anyway, the Edge of Tomorrow is the deepest portion of the ocean floor: The Marinara Trench! Hiro: Wait, did you get underwater?! Lady: Oh, that part of the ocean isn't underwater. Hiro: WHAT?! Lady: Did I stutter? It's the MARINARA TRENCH. It's not water, it's tomato sauce. Everyone knows that, geez. Did you fail geography? It's consistently ranked in the top 8 deliciously deadly dungeons to die for! Or in. Either or. Mancala: Actually, I'm pretty sure I know where that is. Deima: Wow, you're gonna help and NOT shill us? Mancala: Hey, hey, I can be a very generous spirit when so inclined. Hiro: That and you're probably afraid of Ozma turning you into a flail again. Kimyawa: Mm. Sashimi desu! Mancala: W-well, you can't be too careful! Let's go! So, thankfully, we can actually warp to Mermania for this part rather than walking again. You then need to head south towards a red cave. If you had tried to come here before, you would be warned that you had not taken your heart burn medication and would be turned around. Venturing in now, however, will start ramping up the difficulty a bit with the likes of Meatball Munchkins, Spaghetti Serpents, and Ravioli Ravagers and they do love them the Red ailment among their numbers. The upside is this is the first real opportunity to level in this chapter, as it's the first set of monsters that are scaled to where we oughta be by now and they drop copious amounts of Cooled Hankies, which relieve red in a single target. The problem you'll face is the cracks in the floor which blast up with, uh, sauce and deals damage if you're caught in them. The dungeon is fairly simple otherwise, if a bit long. When you get to the end, you'll encounter a massive cliff, dropping into oblivion. Hiro: So... where's the birdhouse? The screen rumbles as a massive, golden, crispy squid rises from below, a birdhouse perched atop its spear-shaped head. Hiro: Oh. -Boss Fight!- The Great Calamari LP: 40000 MP: 3500 Tentacles (x2) LP: 10000 MP: 0 This deep-fried fishy fiend is a little tricky in that it's multi-bodied. The tentacles try to swat you, and lower accuracy with their base attack, so they have to go first. If they peg you a few times, don't panic, as the accuracy reduction wears off over time. The head itself has good defense against magic and physical attacks, but none of his attacks are too overwhelming, even his strongest move – Marinara Madness – deals only passable damage. If you take out his tentacles first, you shouldn't have too much trouble, but if they decide to be particularly petulant, this fight can drag out. The best thing to remember is that accuracy is reset if Hiro swirl-fuses or un-fuses with party members. -Boss Fight!- Great Calamari: Heroes of Destiny, you have proven your mettle before the Baron Calamari, and I offer you the Birdhouse of your Soul. Do as you see fit. Hiro: Uh. Right. Thanks. Loyroll: That's pretty deep. Deima: About 20,000 leagues, I'd wager. Hiro walks up to the birdhouse and puts the cookie in. After a moment, we hear a “crunch-crunch” sound and out pops a beret! Hiro: There are no words. Hiro obtains: Beret! Now that we have these, we can return to Toneland and finally start the chapter proper. Oh, and by the way, you've finished all these side quests now, right? Just so you know, there's a shop keeper on the far-right-hand side who sells the Beret and Bongos for a price. Just FYI. Maybe now you'll learn to explore under your own power first BEFORE just asking a guide what to do. But I doubt it. At any rate, we can buy some weapon and armor upgrades at long last, usually themed as Musc[Weapon] and ToneDresses, as the shops do not carry armor for the guys. At this point, we need to go up to the castle in the north end of town and the Queen's Assistant, Nagi. Nagi: Oh, thank the gods! Some sucke-- I mean-- some blessed visitors from beyond the sea, here to aid us in our time of crisis! Mancala: Do we really owe these broads anything? They haven't really been super helpful thus far... Ozma: As princess of House Toruble, I cannot overlook a crisis to a nation that might be in need. We need to hear them out. Nagi: You see, the Queen... she has become completely smitten with a Dark Pudding general! And now she aims to just hand over one of ToneLand's sacred treasures! Ozma: It almost feels wrong, though, to interrupt a young love... Hiro: After seeing the kind of work they do, I have a hard time believing that this “love” is anything but one-sided. Nagi: The one with the poor taste in gender is, and I say this begrudgingly, correct. Hiro: I... didn't have a say in what I was born as-- Nagi: STOP TRYING TO MANSPLAIN TO ME!! God, can you man-lings not go 5 minutes without trying to oppress someone?! Hiro: I-- this is not helping my inferiority complex. At all. Ozma: Casual sexism aside, what can we do to stop them? After all, a woman's heart is fickle, but determined. If she has her eyes on someone, telling her she's wrong will only provoke her to pursue it more doggedly. Kimyawa: Maybe we could, uh, “liberate” the treasure first? What even is it? Nagi: Why, the sacred ancient treasure of ToneLand is (wait for it...) the Wind Talisman! Ozma: Gasp! Hiro: Who even sa-- no, wait, did that joke already. Disregard. Nagi: But it'd be better if you took it, frankly. The problem is that only the Royal Family can access the Royal Vault, using the Royal Tattoo! Loyroll: Sounds very royal. Nagi: It is, my strangely-attractive misogynist! Loyroll: Excuse me? Nagi: The Royal Tattoo is branded on the Princess each generation. Mancala: Oh, like, on her hand or arm or something? Nagi: No, on her ass. All: … Kimyawa: Etto... Hiro: Boy, this turned awkward quick. Nagi: However, there is a way! We must... PEEP ON HER IN THE BATH! Hiro: Actually, I have an idea, if I may: if someone has to tattoo the princess each generation, doesn't that mean there's some tattoo artist on this island that already knows the passcode hanging around somewhere? Nagi: You're saying words, but I do not understand, due to your gruff, oppressive speech. Hiro: I give up. Kimyawa: It'll cause a riot if nii-chan-tachi go in directly. We should cause a distraction instead, and allow the boys to peep properly. Hiro: What? I was thinking that Loyroll and I would be the distraction! Loyroll: Indeed, why are you giving us the boring job, dear sister? Kimyawa: It's funnier and adheres to shounen manga tropes better this way! Hiro: Must I? Kimyawa: Also, it's gonna be hilarious when Ozma-onee-chan gets super pissed off! See, nii-chan and I have a bet to see how many bricks she can break in one punch. I'm thinking 20-ish, but he says it's around 15. So if I get her REALLY mad... Hiro: Ulp... So the party splits here. You take control of Hiro and Loyroll for a grand total of 10 seconds, as you go through a side path that Nagi gestures toward. When you do so, the game suddenly swaps to Ozma, Kimyawa, Deima, and Mancala who move to the right-hand side through a door that was locked previously. When you do, prepare for the mindfuck because the “distraction” portion of this plan is them putting on an opera, recreating the love story between the Queen and the Dark Pudding who is, in fact, Jaydea. Yeah, the localized version of the game leaves this tidbit out, but this is a lesbian love affair (as if ToneLand has anything but, but I digress). In the Japanese version, the point is to pick the line that forms a proper, thematic haiku. This... does not translate well at all, as this instead becomes a one-liner-off between Ozma wearing one of the princess' dresses (stretched to capacity), and Kimyawa in an outfit not unlike Jaydea's (equally at its limit), while Mancala and Deima run around the stage, doing the special effects. The song eventually degrades into a rap battle, with Ozma and Kimyawa trying to out-white-girl each other. It is a thing of beauty and at the same time, horrible. Ozma: Ya, mon! Kimyawa: Aww, hell naw! Mancala: We are getting paid for this, right? Ozma: Naw, mon! Mancala: Dammit. Once you have lost 30 minutes of your life re-doing this segment, because let's be honest: no guide can help you here... you then get a timer for Hiro and Loyroll's segment. The better you did (whatever arbitrary criterion the game uses to gauge that) dictates how much time you have to peep. Hiro and Loyroll crawl behind some potted plants and hunker down. Hiro: I feel like I need to be arrested for this. Loyroll: Think about it this way: you could be playing the SuperWorld Urania games. Hiro: Yes, that would make me feel much worse. I suppose given that, I should be grateful. Loyroll: Ah, here she comes now. Prepare your short-term memory, my friend! Here, the game goes into a... very uncomfortable first-person view, sort of like the movie-made-game, Triassic Zoo, and you have to time when you pop from your hiding spot to get a glance at her rear end. You can't actually SEE the code in this format, as this is the limited SNES rendering capacity, it's more like looking at two peaches combat a Mode 7 block of blue. By, uh... humping the bajeezus out of it. The point is, by seeing her butt, you fill a meter at the bottom and when it caps out, you're done with this quest and the SNES's limited online capability automatically registers you to the FBI sex offenders registry as a convenient step! Welcome to 1992! The internet is already here! Hiro: I feel unclean. Loyroll: Ass do I. Hiro: What? Loyroll: I agreed with you. Hiro: You said “ass”. Loyroll: I did no such thing! Hiro: Butt you did! Loyroll: You just spelled “butt” wrong! Hiro: I did not. I derriere say you're trying to-- Loyroll: Derriere? Really now? Hiro: Dammit, I did say that, didn't I? Loyroll: … Let's agree to never speak of this again. Hiro: Agreed. The two depart and the party reunites back in the main floor area, meeting Nagi there. Ozma: So, that was degrading in ways I never knew possible... Mancala: But we're getting rave reviews! Kimyawa: Did nii-chan-tachi get the code?! Loyroll: We did. In order: Green, Blue, and Red. Hiro: Y'know, we probably could've just... guessed that. Nagi: Quickly, while the castle is still distracted. Now is our chance! Nagi then automatically guides you to the vault. There, Hiro enters the code. Hiro: Alright, that should do it. … Why isn't anything happenin-- Suddenly, four suits of armor that line the walls rush out and surround the party. Hiro: What the--?! A trap?! Nagi: A security measure! That must not be the code... wait, I get it! Because it's on her ass, she has to put the code in INSIDE-OUT! Mancala: Of course! It's brilliant! That way, only by getting her head out of her own ass can this plotline go forward! Hiro: What?! Suddenly, guards and the Queen storm in. Queen: How dare you! You were going to try to steal my sacred treasure, my gift to my one and only Jay-bird?! Mancala: You nicknamed her? Really? Queen: Your entire drama troupe is TOTALLY getting a bad review on Telp now!! Hiro: Listen, your highness, it's just that-- Queen: Look, he's totally oppressing me! YOU SEE IT, DON'T YOU?! Deima: Oh gods above, shut your face. Or your ass. I frankly can't see a difference in the two. And believe me, I got a good look at both! You're so self-righteous and full of yourself you can't even see that you're being played for a sucker! Queen: But Jaydea and I are gonna get Mormonly married and then we're gonna have all of the babies!! Deima: I... I'm ignoring that entire sentence for your benefit. But beyond that, if the Dark Puddings get what they want, you won't have the CHANCE! They're going to bring a great and terrible evil into this world! No one will be getting married and living happily ever after if they get the talismans! Be a good little girl and just give it to us nice and easy, or else aunt Deima is gonna have to-- Queen: You old sow! You wouldn't know what it's like to be loved, you furry fossil! Deima: DA FUQ YOU JUST SAY, HO?! Now, at this point in the SNES version, the screen just whites out and implied Deima cast a spell. In the GBA remake, we actually get an amusing cutscene that accompanies this moment, as we fly-on-the-wall over to Jaydea's crew, riding an airship towards ToneLand. Jaydea: ETA? Guard: About 30 minutes to ToneLand, Lady Jaydea! Jaydea: Excellent. I'll have that Wind Talisman in no time at all! Guard: Ma'am! A quick update! Jaydea: What is it? Guard: The palace, it appears to be... A huge, white laser flies by the side window, evaporating birds that were previously flying in the background. Guard: Exploding. Jaydea: … [Sigh]. Okay, guys. Executive decision. Turn around. We're going back. Forward a message to Lord Zoddon to stop by a MockBuster and rent something steamy for this weekend; no one's getting laid tonight. Guard: The one with the, quote, “Hunky German Guys”? Jaydea: That's the ticket. Back to the party, with the vault room now in ruins. The armor suits are laid to waste and the vault door is just gone now. Deima's hair is erratic and unkempt, as the women are running around the room wildly as Hiro and Loyroll stand a safe distance away. Deima has the Queen in a headlock. Deima: SAY IT! SAY IT!!! HOW OLD AM I?! Queen: T-t-twenty-five!!! Deima: DAMN STRAIGHT!! Hiro: Should... we be doing something? Loyroll: I strongly advise against that, friend. And ruin my hair? Not on your life. Kimyawa: Deima-chan! Stop! Onegai! The whole building'll come down! Ozma: Are you crazy?! Stop it already!!! Deima: I'mma kill this ho! She's more pathetic and pandering than Kimyawa! Kimyawa: HEY! I only pander a LITTLE! … A lot. A LOTTLE! At least I'm not some roided-up amazon! Seriously, who's fetish is she trying to appeal to?! Don't tell me you can get abs you grate cheese on just by doing sit-ups and drinking juice! You should get a cute, smooth tummy like mine! Ozma: The HELL you just say?! You can't even get your top in a top! If you wanna talk about fake body parts... Kimyawa: GASP!!! MY OPPAI ARE NATURAL!!! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!! You bring shame upon Kimyawa's okaa-san! Mancala: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING HALF THE TIME! Are you literate?! Hiro: This is seriously going to Hell. C'mon, Loyroll, let's grab the talisman and just leave. Loyroll: Slight problem with that... Ozma: Where do you two think YOU'RE going?! Stand up for my honor! Hiro: Err... Kimyawa: Onii-chan! SAIKYOU NO SENSHI! Loyroll: Oh dear... Mancala: I'll pay you 30 zenny and three photos of Ozma in the buff if you side with me instead. Deima: Hiro! Be a man! Pick a side! Hiro: WHAT?! Why does this chapter hate me?! The game pull a fast one here by presenting you a five-way prompt, the options being: I side with Ozma I side with Kimyawa I side with Mancala I side with Deima or I have three remaining transformations! But you don't actually get the chance to pick any of these as the prompt is immediately taken away from you. The astute hex editors among you will notice that even if you did try to run the prompt, it'll just cue the next event anyway. The camera pans up a little, above the dust cloud the cat fight erupts into as Ceuri, one of the Heavenly Kings of the Dark Puddings, casually strolls right in and grabs the Wind Talisman from the vault stand. Ceuri: Thanks for the gift! Bye-bye now! Hiro: No! That was one of the Dark Puddings we saw!! Girls! Girls, stop! We have bigger problems to deal with!! Ozma: We sure DO! How do you even stand upright with that frame, you damned coconut tree?! Mancala: Don't talk smack to her, you roid-raging berserker! You have like the second-largest melons in this game!! Kimyawa: Baka! Baka! Jealousy is NOT kawaii! Deima: Hey, all this in-fighting gives me an idea for a new attack! I call this Hissatsu Zenkai Suki!!! Hiro: DEIMA, NO!!! And the entire screen whites out with a violent explosion sound effect. You're then informed that Deima's hilariously over-powered Hissatsu Zenkai Suki attack is unlocked now. The scene fades back in with the party in the castle's traction ward, everyone laid out. Deima: Gela-gela-gela! That was fun! We really needed to get that inter-party tension out! Loyroll: You're insane. You nearly killed us all, y'know... Ozma: But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel rather refreshed after all that. Kimyawa: Hai! Mancala: Now that you mention it... Here, we're informed that the new team-wide attack Girl Power (JP: Lovely Dancing Cherry Blossom Unyielding Death Force) has been unlocked. You can use it when your front line is the four ladies of our party. It deals massive, non-element magic damage to all enemies and runs the risk of inflicting Red on enemies. Hiro: Not my idea of fun. And because we were busy bickering amongst ourselves, they got away with the Wind Talisman! Loyroll: A most un-fabulous turn of events, put mildly. What's the plan? Hiro: This can't be ignored. We'll have to pursue. Nagi walks in from the door. Nagi: We're, uh, awful sorry for the turn of events. Here. Take this. Hiro gets the Dreamcatcher Mirror. Hiro: This is...? Nagi: It allows one to view and to subsequently enter peoples dreams. It is a legendary artifact and treasure of our kingdom and my small way of saying: please, never come here again. You are officially persona au gratin. Hiro: But that means-- Mancala: Shh. Just... let her dream. At this point, there's actually two last areas in this chapter and we can tackle them in basically any order we want. But let's the worse of the two first and get it out of the way. But first, to ease our pain, we can go noodling in a nearby well and find the PDGShld for Hiro. If we travel to the river encircling Toruble, we can also get the PGDArmr for him. There will be more of this later, but it's a tremendous boost in defense and one he can carry to the final boss. Now we need to go to Mermania, go north to the mainland, then head west a ways until we hit the Miner Reservation, Diggould. Around here, though, if you head south through the small forested area, you can find another Pudding Shrine! This one is a little different, in that if you do not have the Pudding Shield, you can't enter here. Inside, Hiro is split from the party by a transparent barrier and meets with a spirit inside. Hiro: Alright. I'm ready for this. Spirit: Welcome, Hiro, Son of Pudding. I am St. Tastius. In order to take your abilities one step further, you must meet my challenge head-on. Are you ready? Hiro: Almost. I have one question first before we do. St. Tastius: Okay. Ask away. Hiro: St. Tastius? Are you serious? More like St. Tasti-less. St. Tastius: You're going to fight a giant emu now. Hiro: Wait, what?

-Boss Fight!- Giant Emu LP: 25,000 MP: 5000 Well, at least he was being honest. Giant Emu is fast and will usually take its turn before Hiro who, as usual, cannot use a Pudding Form worth using and thus must prioritize healing as necessary to ensure the next round is not fatal. The biggest challenge here is that while Giant Emu lacks special attacks, it will sometimes follow up its normal attack with “Pancake Batter”, a follow-up move that deals 80% damage too, meaning Hiro is going to be bleeding LP throughout this battle. Heal often and if you picked up any attack items, now might well be the time to utilize them! -Boss Fight!- Hiro: That was... okay. Well, tell me, what amazing ability fusion has this granted me? St. Tastius: The newest member of your party may now fuse with you to create the Trout Pudding Fused Form. Hiro: Sounds good. What's it do? St. Tastius: It will always deal critical damage to fish-type enemies! Hiro: … And? St. Tastius: What? Hiro: And what else? Fish-type enemies only appear in one area of the game and we've been through there like a dozen times now. What else does it do? St. Tastius: … Hiro: Oh gods, that's it, isn't it? You just used this as a filler dungeon! St. Tastius: Yeah. Sorry. Better luck next time. Hiro: What the hell is Trout-flavored Pudding anyway?! Good grief... Sadly, the description is apt. It will do critical to fish-type enemies, but will not effect other types at all. This pudding power is absolutely worthless. Anyway, now we can go to Diggould proper. Which is a literal hole-in-the-ground. Deima: Ah. Diggould. This is a town filled with miners. “Town” might be a stretch though. “Civilization” is also kinda pushing it. Hiro: What's wrong with this place? Deima: Well, look at it. It's a literal hole. There's not even electricity and A/C! Hiro: But that wasn't even invented until the Industrial Revolution and this is a swords-and-sorcery setting! Deima: Yeah. Sure it is. Cough. Hiro: I really hate it when you guys speak aloud onomatopoeia. Just sayin'... Miner: Howdy, folks. Welcome to Diggould, proud capital of the miners. Deima: Is it REALLY a capital when it's the only city you have to your name? Miner: Sure it is! You could even say... it's a CAPITAL CITY! … Get it? 'Cuz... capital can also mean “good”? Deima: So, as I was saying, I don't like this place... We're then free to explore the holes in the wall that pass as buildings here and even get Loyroll the DigrPNTS to make up for his not getting any armor upgrades recently. Once we explore the room on the right, we see Moore the Miner from before, laying asleep in a bed. Mayor: Oh! Guests! Forgive our poor demeanor. We have quite a pickle on our hands and, seeing as you're here, maybe you could lend us a hand! Hiro: Sure! Deima: [Sigh]. Okay. Mayor: So, our dear Lead Miner, Moore, has fallen into a deep sleep and we can't find means to awaken him! We fear a terrible curse is placed upon him! Hiro: I think we have just the ticket! At this point, the conversation would just very abruptly end if you came here before finishing ToneLand's story line. But as we have the Dreamcatcher Mirror, Hiro insists on butting in. He goes to Moore and holds up the mirror. Hiro: I see... a giant, burning middle finger? No, wait, that's a field. … Lined with skeletons. Kimyawa: Miner-kun was REALLY into heavy metal. Mayor: HEY-YO! Kimyawa: Nani? … Oh. I get it. Heavy. Metal. He's a miner. Mayor: Now you're getting into the spirit of our sophisticated sense of humor. Kimyawa: … Hiro: I see an island and a tower in the north. This is no ordinary dream. It looks as though some terrible force is keeping him locked in his sleep. We may have to use the mirror to enter in and directly intervene. Deima: You better be glad you're at least an 8, or I wouldn't even entertain the notion. Ozma: He's a solid 9, 10 if you get rid of those braids! Kimyawa: Dame desu, the braids are kawaii! Hiro: Hm? Did you three say something? Deima: No, nothing at all. Hiro: Alright. Let's prepare and enter into Moore's Dream! Prepare yourself and check Moore again. Hiro will hand the mirror to a miner NPC, and the team warps in, arriving via a singular bed. Hiro: OH GODS, MY MOST OF ME!!! Why am I on the very bottom?! Ozma: Wow. I didn't know you could even balance so many people on one bed! Kimyawa: Onee-chan! Please to be getting off me now, onegai! Loyroll: What an inconvenient mode of transport. Usually I'd consider the bed a gateway to many wonderful things, but this is not what I had in mind... The party quickly files out and are met by a generic miner sprite. Miner: You have to help! Moore's in trouble! Hiro: Yes. We gathered as much. Miner: His very personality was shattered and scattered across his subconscious mind! Deima: Miner's have personalities? Kimyawa: Deima-chan! Deima: What? You were thinking it too. Miner: This is the settlement of Hartmann, a safe haven. This is once where his entire personality resided, but since the coming of a great evil, they have been sent all across this world. Please, find them and reunite them, so we may form Courage, and fight back! Hiro: Sounds like a plan. Where shall we go from here? Miner: The evil awaits you in Freud's Tower in the north, but without Courage, it remains unassailable. You should go through Jung's Field to the east, and explore Skinner's Hut, and don't forget Bandura's Woods! Hiro: Okay. Let's explore those areas first then. The first area we can go to is Jung's Field... so let's not go there. Instead, hang east a little further to go to Skinner's Hut, a perfectly cubical house. Inside, we see Moore. Moore: Me? I'm not Moore, you fuckstick. I'm Anger! Hiro: I didn't even say anything. Could you dial it back a little? Moore: HELL NO! I'm Anger! Hiro: Oh. Right. So, can you come with us? Moore: You trying to tell me what to do, pretty boy? I'll mess you up so bad... uhh... so bad, that YOU'LL WISH I DIDN'T MESS YOU UP SO BAD! Hiro: Apparently Wit isn't here with Anger. Moore: I WILL CRUSH Y-- Ozma punches Anger in the gut, dropping him like a stone. Ozma: There. We can drop him off in Hartmann when we go there next. Hiro: A little... sudden, but it does work! Got Moore's Anger! Now we can go to Bandura's Woods, where annoying Psyche Munchkins appear, alongside HypnOwls, both of whom can put the party to sleep. This is annoying more than dangerous. If you wheel through the forest a bit, you'll find another Moore within. Moore: A-bloo-bloo-bloooo... Hiro: Um. Are you okay? Moore: I-I'm Sad! Hiro: So I see. Moore: No, I'm Sadness. Like, the emotion. W-without the others, all I can do is hide away and c-cryyy! Abloo-bloo-bloo. Ozma: Hiro, this may require a woman's touch. Ozma goes to Sadness, placing a hand on his shoulder. Moore: A-are you here to tell me that everything's going to be okay and pet me on the head? Ozma: No, it's just your voice is super annoying, so stop crying or I'm gonna deck you. Get in the car, loser, we're finding Courage. Got Moore's Sadness! Now, we can head north to Pavlov's Pavilion. And here's where that insidious international release censorship rears its head in a big way. In the Japanese, the pavilion was a casino, filled with gambling minigames and voluptuous chimera-women who insist they'll sleep with anyone who is up for a “romp” with them. You open the door to the next emotion by gambling enough tokens until you get 250 and paying to access it. In the international versions, however, this place is a technicolor candy land, where penguins, rabbits, puppies, and kittens tell you how much they “wuv” you and give you candy hearts. Once you collect 25 candy hearts, you can ford the Strawberry River and the riverman, amusingly named Branches, ferries you across. Either way, Loyroll will protest the scene, either for being “boring” or for being “too saccharine”, depending on version, and insist he misses killing dinosaurs instead. Either way, the locked door opens and you'll find another emotion. Moore: Ugh. This place is gross. I can't stand it! And YOU! You were frolicking around in there! YOU'RE gross too! Kimyawa: Dame! You act all high and mighty, but you're the one who came here first! If you hate it so, then nandaiyo?! Maybe you're not so “above it all” either! Moore: ugh! You're just spilling out of your top! You're so gross! Have some respect for yourself! Kimyawa: My oppai are proud and bountiful! I represent the abundant harvest of autumn, baka! The emotion YOU need is “PRIDE”! You need to love yourself and surround yourself with those that love you! Then you'll realize you ARE beautiful, and need only live up to your own expectations, as high as you wish to set them! Moore: Ugh. Motivational speeches disgust me. Kimyawa: … [Snap]. Kimyawa grapples Disgust and German suplexes him, unlocking her new attack, uh, German Suplex, a terrifyingly powerful single-target skill that is calculated off her speed stat. Kimyawa: BAKA-BAKA-BAKA!!! Moore: Oooooogh... pretty stars... Got Moore's Disgust! Next, we can head to the small town, Vygotski, in the south where there's a consumable item shop and the next emotion and not much else. Moore: Wow! What a great day! Oh, hi there! I'm Moore's Joy! Deima: The hell're you so chipper about? Moore: What ISN'T there to be chipper about?! I'm in a wonderful town, and some wonderful new visitors are here! This is a chance to make new friends! Hiro: I like this guy. He's as blissfully naive as I once was. Good times... Moore: So, we're friends now, right? Let me accompany you! Hiro: Wow. If everyone in the world was like this, I wouldn't feel perpetually like the world is made of cardboard. And soaked in ethanol. And that the torch was thrust into my hands. Ozma: Hiro? A-are you okay? Hiro: Why, Pudding Elder? Why am I the hero? Emilia's the hero. I'm an accident. I was born because my mom can't hold her liquor. Deima: Oh dear. The weight of reality finally broke him. Kimyawa: Does this mean we have to go into Hiro-nii-chan's head? Loyroll: Let's put a raincheck on that for now, hm? Got Moore's Joy. And now, there will be no more joy, as we have to cross Jung's Field. Ugh. How do I put this... imagine a landmine field with no markers and lots and lots of landmines. The landmines also reset after detonating. And they do this infinitely. And the safe road across is about 2 blocks wide. And the METHOD FOR DOING THIS PUZZLE WAS REMOVED IN THE INTERNATIONAL VERSION! Welcome to Amazing Quest 1's worst dungeon! So, in the Japanese version, there was a yellow face icon that would appear at the bottom of the screen. As you progressed, his eyes would point towards the nearest mine. If you were one step away from a mine, he'd get this psychotic, shit-eating grin, warning you that you were close. You could use this to parse the path without ever taking damage fairly reliably. Why did they remove this? I don't know. Why did Jaydea get drunk on a non-alcoholic drink in AQ2? The world will never know. The sole catharsis to be found here is that at the midway point, we find that yellow-faced smiling jackass and he's the boss of this area. -Boss Fight!- Dost Mine Eyes LP: 35,000 MP: 10,000 Oh, this fight. How do I explain this fight. The short version would just be the words “NOT FUN” repeated about 20,000 times. But to be more exact, DME here not only mocks you throughout with lines like “Are we having fun yet?” and “Take it easy!” as he attacks you. When he says “Look out!” he hurls a series of bombs at you, and like another Jeffcom+DTK series, which shall remain nameless, there is no defense against bombs. They just do craptons of damage. In fact, that's kind of this guy's thing. He doesn't have a means to inflict status ailments, but he has tons of health and his defense is the highest by far that we've yet seen and all his attacks are seriously OP. The one upside is all of his damage is calculated as physical damage, so if you rebalance your defense acKordingly, you can help mitigate the damage dealt. There's a reason this guy became a meme in the fandom for moments of the series that are horrifically imbalanced and not fun. -Boss Fight!- Thankfully, upon his defeat, the mines in the area are cleared out, and we're allowed to move north to the last emotion. Moore: I-I'm not going out there! It's too scary! Loyroll: If you mean the buffoon with the terrifying face, we took care of him already. Moore: The world is too scary! I'm just gonna hide here. I think it's the least-scary place. Loyroll: Boy, listen to me and listen well. Fear will always be with you. It is a phantom that insists on riding astride your shoulder for your entire journey of life. And that's okay. Because the ultimate dance of fates will not be casting fear off, but embracing it as a part of who you are, and mastering it. THAT, in truth, is “courage”! You, as Fear, are not antithetical to bravery, you are, in fact, its very core! Moore: W-wow! Despite being a foppish poof, you make a really good point! Loyroll: I prefer to think of myself as “fabulous”, thank you very much... But you know what I do when I become scared? I freak fear the fuck out!!! Hiro: He's not kidding. That's actually what he does. Moore: Meep! I better get back to Hartmann! I-I think I hear the others calling for me! Got Moore's Fear! With this, we have all of Moore's scattered emotions back at Hartmann! Go back now and you'll see many, many copies of Moore here, including a few not named in the international version. Moore: Thank you all. Thanks to you, we can reunite ourselves and find Courage! Then we'll be able to launch our counterattack on the evil in Freud's Tower! All the Moore pile onto one square as the screen whites out, revealing the completed Moore, Courage. Moore: Alright! At last, I feel ready to go! Hiro: Great! Welcome to the team, Moore! Moore joins the party! … It's just a damn shame his stats are terrible. His physical stats are eclipsed by Ozma, his magic stats are over-shadowed by Deima, and his few skills are weaker versions of Kimyawa's and Loyroll's. His HP is lower than Hiro's and he has only enough MP to launch two casts of any of his abilities! Seriously, JeffCom, are you TRYING to make your fans hate you? At any rate, it's time to visit the unfortunately-shaped Freud's Tower! As the party approaches, they see the tower seems to shift in and out of existence, almost like actually viewing a dream in physical space. Hiro: It... it's growing?! Moore: And it's shaped like a plump helmet! Loyroll: It's really getting huge! Kimyawa: Sugoi... Deima: I've seen better. Enter the tower. The walls shift in and out of visibility here, but retain their solid qualities, meaning that the tiny 1-block-wide paths that you must navigate aren't even in view half the time. This place should be called “Test of Patience Tower”, or perhaps Testy Tower for short. HEY-YO! Obvious jokes aside, you just navigate it until you find an armored man standing in front of some stairs. Man: Ho-ho! You'll not go a step further! Hiro: Did you do this to Moore? Answer, Dark Pudding dog! Man: Dog?! You dare address the great Praetorian Soh as a dog?! Hiro: Oh, geez, not another one of you guys... Soh: The great Heavenly King, Modt, entrusted to me-- wait, did you just say “another”? Hiro: Yeah, there were these other Praetorian guys I ran into earlier... don't really recall their names. Soh: So you are the ones who brutally ended the reign of glory that Praetorian Doh, Rei, Mih, and Faa battled so brilliantly for! My brothers-in-arms! I shall avenge their untimely deaths! Kimyawa: One was a woman! Soh: I was speaking poetically. Now, you shall face the unparalleled might of the Burning Soh! Hiro: What kind of dastardly trick do you have?! Soh: Trick? No. I shall explain my powers in-full, thus that we may fight as honorable men of valor! Kimyawa: And women of valor! Soh: Yes, that too! My power... witness and tremble!! Soh then bursts aflame as he removes his helmet, revealing a chiseled visage and bald, shining head. Soh: Yes! I see you are left speechless by my overwhelming abilities! Many have had that reaction to this unstoppable force before y-- Hiro: So, that's it? You ignite yourself? Soh: I... um... well, yes. It's a very powerful attack. Deima: Actually, we've fought fire-themed monsters before now. Hiro: Didn't that one guy have the power to harden his body like armor? Now that was a power to respect. Ozma: I'll say. Or the guy who summoned lightning. I liked that one, myself. Kimyawa: Jiji-chan, is that why you don't have hair anymore? Did you singe it all off?! Soh: What?! No! I-I have eyebrows! See? And do you have any idea how long it takes to learn to not only set yourself on fire, but not hurt yourself doing so?! A long time, that's what! Loyroll: So, when you shower, does it just become steam? Is every bath a steam bath? Soh: No! That's not how this works!!! Oh, gods, this is not going like I imagined it would... Mancala: Oh, I got one! He must be a... hot commodity! Ooooooh! Soh: That tears it. You're all dead. -Boss Fight!- Praetorian Soh LP: 45,000 MP: 5000 So, Soh is just a so-so battle, so there's really nothing in particular so great about Soh. He can use different fire spells and cause damage over time with burns, but if you got some aloe vera in ToneLand, that's a non-issue. Plus Mancala's water-based abilities and Ozma's ability to debuff defense works as a great two-fer in this battle. Hiro may ultimately play more a support role this time around! So, Soh realizes you reap what you sow! -Boss Fight!- Soh: My brothers... and sister... I'm sorry. I... I have failed you. There remains but two who may reclaim our honor now. The joke's on you, foolish Light Puddings... there is no way out of this maze. You'll wander its halls alongside my spirit for all of eternity... Deima: For a bunch of cowards who chose to pick on people who live in literal holes in the dirt, they retain a high degree of pride. Mancala: Yes, but why? He said this was a direct order from Modt, so there must've been a strategic gain in doing so. We need to investigate further! Hiro: Hey, guys, if we go up the stairs here, we can get out! Loyroll: Seems he was mistaken in telling us there was no means out. What a pointless interlude. The party returns to Moore's room, no worse for wear. Moore: I had... a long, strange dream. Deima: Believe us, we know. We saw it. Kimyawa: We saw everything. Moore: Um. S-so, obviously, the only way to repay you is to join you on your quest! As a miner, I can open holes in select places on the map! Hiro: That sounds selectively useful. Welcome to the team, Moore! Again? Moore: A-are you going to put me on the bench again? Hiro: Yeah, probably, if we're just being honest here. Moore: It's okay. I'm kind of a booty guy myself. Kimyawa: Baka hentai!!! Stare at your own risk!!! We then depart and head hard south for a while. Eventually, it starts snowing as we enter a small hamlet named Heat. Deima: Haha! These people have a great sense of irony! Hiro: I dunno. I've never heard of people bagging on their own town when they named it. Something seems out of place. Old Man: You got that right, sonny boy! This is one of the toastiest tropical paradises on Earth, but since that dastard Modt moved into the Weather Station, we've been in a deep freeze! Hiro: Does... this town only exist to solidify Modt as a proper villain? Old Man: pardon? Hiro: I mean... the first heavenly king was about to bring a countryside to its knees with his mad science chemistry set. But now that we're here, Modt's rap sheet kind of has the sum total of “mild inconveniencing a single guy in a single town”. Moore: Hey... Hiro: Just thinking out loud here. Ozma: Even so, we can't let his reign of... mild inconvenience stand. We should go to the Weather Station and sort this mess out. So, head to the Weather Station. It's on top of the hill, to the south-east. You can access it by going south, then heading north up the slope. The Weather Station is a large, white tower, because that's a unique motif in this franchise. Inside are mazes that try to differentiate themselves from the Freud Tower and fail. Each of them has a different weather motif, like rain, clouds (which has a very nice reflective motif, as the floor is lightly coated in water), and ice sliding puzzles. The problem is that these motifs don't actually add very much and these concepts were done far more interestingly in the Cognami “Our UV Radiation!” series of GBA games. At the top floor, Modt awaits us, floating menacingly in front of a machine not dissimilar to the one we saw in the quake control room. Hiro: Give it up, Modt, you're surrounded and trapped with no where to go. Give up peacefully and face justice for your crimes or we'll resort to violence. Deima: Which would be faster. And... y'know... a lot more fun. Modt: Oh-ho, threatening me, are we? Well, little do you know my true power is drawing things from MY dream world into this reality! Ozma: What does that amount to? Modt: Uh. Hot girls, mostly. Moore: Mm... Moore nods sagely here. Modt: Okay, that's not going to fly here. Very well! I'll try a DIFFERENT TACTIC! Hiro: Say what now? Modt rears back and slams into Hiro, knocking him flat. Ozma: Hiro?! Deima: Dammit, that little rat! He was ready for this! Grab that damnable mirror and let's get after him!! Loyroll flashes the mirror, which fires a laser beam, blackening Hiro's face comedically. Loyroll: Oops. Sorry. Two legendary mirrors and all. Got 'em confused. Loyroll flashes the other mirror, which causes the screen to white out again as they enter... a recolored, slightly-rearranged version of Moore's subcon island... God, I hate this stretch of the game. There's only two landmarks, though, a town where you can rest and buy items, all stationed by copies of Hiro. To the north is... ugh... another white tower where Modt awaits us. Have I mentioned that I hate this stretch of the game? Cuz I do. Anyways, the Tower of Doubt tries some unique maze shenanigans, like spinning the camera randomly (useless as your party remains pointed in the same direction anyway), and teleport maze (which isn't complicated at all) and some other things. What's actually interesting here is that, in various rooms, we see shadows of Hiro and other characters speaking. In the entryway we get: Ozma: Wh-what's that? Shadow Hiro: I'm not the savior of our tribe. I couldn't even save my sister or my hometown from the Dark Puddings. People died because I was weak. Kimyawa: Hiro-ni-chan... Then, in the stairwell: Shadow Hiro: Towns are falling in around me. I can't stop this senseless destruction. Why... why can I not stop them?! Deima: I see... this is the manifestation of Hiro's inner demons. Naturally, Modt would come here to find weaknesses. Ozma: … On the second floor's largest room: Shadow Emilia: You mustn't give up! We can save them! Shadow Hiro: I can't! You know that already, Emilia, so why? Do you just like hitting me that much?! Shadow Emilia: … Well, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little schadenfreude involved... Shadow Hiro: Just stop it. You're the savior of our tribe. I'm... just a mistake. Shadow Hiro walks away, throwing down a wooden, training sword. Loyroll: Seems our fearless leader is quite the basket case. Kimyawa: He's tearing himself apart... Here, we pick up the key item, Memory of Emilia, from the training sword. At the stairwell to the third floor: Ozma: Is that... me? Deima: More likely, it's the way he views you... Shadow Ozma: I have the weight of a kingdom riding on me... so I must be strong enough to shoulder this burden. Shadow Hiro: If I let her down... then I'm letting down an entire kingdom again...! I can't... I'm not strong enough...!!! Damn it!!! Shadow Hiro falls to his knees. Shadow Ozma fades away, leaving a round object on the floor. Shadow Hiro: Ozma, I'm sorry... Ozma: … Sniff, hic... Hiro, don't apologize... From the round object, you get Memory of Ozma. At the T-intersection on the third floor: Kimyawa: Onii-chan, it's us! Loyroll: This will give us fascinating insight to our relationship. Shadow Kimyawa: Hallo, alter brueder! Ich bin die fraulein mit die grosse brueste! Shadow Loyroll: FAAAAAABULOOOOOUS!!! Loyroll: I feel like I should be offended here, but he did use my favorite word so... Kimyawa: Etto... Shadow Kimywa: I'm never going to give up! I'll remain perky and ready 'til the very end! Shadow Loyroll: The pride of my tribe spurs me on to greater heights! But if you want my best weapons, you'd best pony up... Shadow Hiro: How... you guys are always together, and you never stop trying... but when the chips were down, I couldn't do anything to save my own sister... Loyroll: Ah, Hiro, always making mountains of molehills. Deima: Tee-hee. She said “perky”. And you said “mountains”. Kimyawa: He thinks so highly of us but so lowly of himself... poor Hiro-nii-chan. The two shadows leave behind twin blades, which are Memories of Loyroll and Memories of Kimyawa. At the stairwell to the fourth floor, a shadow of Deima, holding a fish bowl in her hands is there. Deima: Ah, the interesting part! Shadow Deima: I, mighty sorceress and ally of the Pudding tribe, shall aid you for now, unworthy successor. Deima: ! I... never said anything of the sort!!! Is that how little you think of me, boy?! Shadow Fish: HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA!!! Mancala: Wait, is that supposed to be me?! That son of a bitch!!! The Shadows of Deima and Mancala leave behind twin rods, which you collect as Memories of Deima and Memories of Fish. That's not a mistranslation, that's the actual item name. With these, we can go to the fourth final floor, which is comprised of two rooms. The first has the last shadow scene. Shadow Hiro: My friends depend so much on me, but I'm just a failure. In the end, I'll just let everyone down again. From the day I was born, no one minded me because Emilia was the destined, chosen pudding hero. Surrounded by people at all times, I have never felt so utterly alone. Ozma: I can't believe he's felt this way the whole time and never told us. Loyroll: Perhaps it was merely that I'm the only one who actually pays attention around here, but he was being pretty obvious about his feelings from the start. Maybe you were just hearing what you wanted to hear. Deima: … Tch. Kimyawa: I-I think that's him up ahead! Mancala: Is Modt already there?! Don't tell me we're too late! I really need to smack him one!!! Ozma: Hiro or Modt? Mancala: Yes. The party proceeds forward after collecting “Memories of Self” and finds Modt and Hiro. Modt is openly weeping and Hiro is talking. Hiro: And that's when I realize that no matter how hard I try, I'll still end up dying scared, tired, and alone – as I lived, unloved and hopeless! Modt: OH GODS ABOVE MAKE THIS GUY STOP TALKING ALREADY!! Ozma: Hiro! We're here to, um... save you? Mancala: Actually, it looks like Modt is about ready to concede. Modt: Oh, thank goodness, you're here! Can you shut this guy up?! Hiro: But, I mean, I figured you were in my head anyway. I figured I'd go ahead and make my internal monologue external! Feels good to get it off my chest! Modt: Oh, to hell with it. I'll just summon your worst fears and crush you all! Some very strange creatures begin raining in from above. Hiro assumes the fetal position here as his eyes bug out. Modt: Wait... what are those things?! Hiro: Oh gods, no! Spiders with baboon heads!! Modt: … what?! Hiro: Emilia told me about them when I was little! They build nests on your roof and slowly inch their way down at night. They steal little kids and take them away to live in jungles and eat spider-bananas! But every time I try to climb I tree, I fall out and hurt myself! I could never survive in that kind of judgmental culture!!! Modt: What?! What is wrong with you?! Why is everything wrong with you?! Ozma: Hiro, it's okay. Hiro: Huh? Ozma: Hiro... come here. Ozma kneels and hugs Hiro. Hiro: … Um. Ozma: Everyone has fears and doubts. And none of us stand alone. We all have our quirks and eccentricities. Some of us are even Loyroll. Loyroll: Heh! Jealousy is unbecoming of you, princess! Ozma: But that's okay. Because we love you not despite your weaknesses, but in part, because of them. Mancala: Except me. I'm still pretty sore. Ozma: These memories are themselves, sacred treasures, and so is our friendship. Stop exalting us by condemning yourself. When you hurt, we hurt. Mancala: Again, except me. Ozma: Stand up, Hiro. Hiro and Ozma rise. Ozma: 'cuz it's time to KICK SOME ASS!!! Modt: Oh, dammit!!! -Boss Fight!- Heavenly King Modt LP: 50,000 MP: 25,000 Here, Hiro will automatically replace anyone you had in the first party slot, so be mindful of your alignment as you enter. As an interesting note, this battle does not actually play the Heavenly Kings' shared theme song: Steel Gauntlet. It actually play's Hiro's theme song: Blade that Shapes the Stars, which was remixed in later games into the better-known version: King of Pudding. Modt is by far the weakest and least-interesting of the Heavenly Kings, befitting his role in the story. He tries to inflict ennui on the party to try to control their movement, but it seems to have a low rate of success for some reason. Your best bet is to use Kimyawa and Loyroll's dual tech, if they're a high enough level to have it, the Double Downward Dog, which deals high light-based damage which Modt has no base resistance towards. I typically use the Chocolate-Raspberry Swirl, and use Hiro and Ozma's combined raw strength, due to a hidden, unexplained gimmick Modt has, as his elemental resistances go up when hit by magic and down when hit by physical damage. However, this is done by a very slight multiplier value, and as his light resist is 0, it will never change. He has no attacks that are major threats to a party that hasn't been running from every other fight. -Boss Fight!- Modt: God... damn... it! Seriously. This is how I die? In the head of some manic-depressive douchebag with an inferiority complex?! This sucks!!! Modt then explodes, violently hurling the party from Hiro's mind, causing them to re-appear in the Weather Station and Hiro to bolt upright. Hiro: EVEN IN MY HEAD?! Loyroll: Are you still on about that? Hiro: Yeah, but, in my HEAD?! Deima: I just checked the console. This looks like it's where the Wind Talisman was stored before it ended up in ToneLand. The damage was reversible and so, I think Heat should be thawed out now. Hiro: Everyone... thank you. I owe you a lot. Mancala: Yes you do. Hiro: Yes. Even you, Mancala. Mancala: Seriously. “Holla, holla, get dolla”? Hiro: In my defense, you did shill me as soon as you met me. Hiro gained: Confidence! Here, the memory items break down and become stat ups which make Hiro's pudding swirl forms even stronger! We now can use the exit warp. When we do, we end up in Heat's town square, which has indeed thawed and now is a tropical paradise! Hiro: Oh, thank goodness. Last time I tried to use one of those, it blew up! The people in town thank you profusely, and if you go noodling in the stream here, you'll obtain the PDNGCape accessory, rounding out Hiro's defenses. Now, we can travel through the waterfall in the south to move through to a new town, Warudo, only to see the inhabitants apparently walk backwards here. Trying to speak to them is useless as everything they say is written backwards. There's only one NPC we can speak to who won't just say “B+TCELES SSERP”. NPC: I returned from a hunting trip a few days ago and everyone is like this now. Talking to them is useless, they don't even seem to see us. Deima: There's powerful magic at work here. They're moving backwards through time, but also in a fixed loop. The only way to free them would be to destroy the source of the spell that put them in this condition in the first place. NPC: Oh, the only magically-aligned place around here would be the Clock Tower. Hiro: Is it a large, white, nondescript tower on a hill? NPC: Yes, why? Hiro: No reason. Loyroll: The Clock Tower, hm? Let's investigate. As there's no items to steal here, we move on to the east to yet another tower because good game design. The tower's primary gimmick are large clock buttons on the floor which run time forward or backward as you stand there. This will cause walls and other obstacles to be built, collapse, or change and you need to seek out the most effective means through by moving the dungeon forward or backward in time. Though, JeffCom apparently got tired of this motif after a while, as the dungeon actually only runs three floors before you reach the top. There, Ceuri awaits us. Ceuri: You! How did you escape my time loop?! Hiro: Uh. We were no where near it when you cast it. And you should know that for a fact, as you saw us in ToneLand when you stole the Wind Talisman. Ceuri: Uh. Um. Yes. Well, details! No one else in Warudo was spared! Kimyawa: Actually, there was one guy. Ceuri: Oh, son of a bitch, how many other people manage to conveniently avoid my spell, then?! Moore: Well, you missed my entire village AND the entire next village over. Ceuri: Yes, well, Modt called dibs and-- Modt's dead now, isn't he? Ozma: Do we even need to clarify that? Ceuri: … Ugh. It's hard to be the only competent person standing. Fine! Whatever. Let me just check in on what the hell's happening... A viewing portal opens in the middle of the room, showing the generic NPC from before. Ceuri: GASP! Hiro: Not you too! Ceuri: It's... it's Bob! Hiro: Who? Ceuri: My only friend from my childhood! Mancala: Oh no, we're going this direction, aren't we? Ceuri: My lady-feels demand I now RIP THE HELL OUT OF SPACE/TIME!!! Hiro: Oh boy... The party is sucked into the rift and very violently deposited out into an open field. Or, rather, Hiro is deposited here alone. In a very long stretch way from Warudo. Also, every single enemy here knows instant-death abilities. Because good game design! So, once you get into one random encounter and party wiped, you'll warp to the save point in Warudo at the low, low cost of half your currencies! I'm so glad chapter 6 is almost done. When you reunite with the others, they begin talking. Bob: Oh, looks like it's Ceuri causing this chaos. Sorry 'bout that. Yeah, she's always been a handful. Hiro: How did she even do this? Isn't that the talisman of wind? Not SPACE/TIME?! Bob: She's a chimera, you see, so she has, like, magic. Hiro: … Magic. Just... magic sufficient to rip time? Bob: Yup. Hiro massages his temples. Bob: Maybe I should go talk to her. Maybe we can convince her to stop this of her own volition. Hiro: Yeah, that's worked well so far. Let's go with his plan. Kimyawa: Not like we had anything better than that... Hiro: I'm being sarcastic. This plan is terrible. Bob: A'ight. Let's go. Hiro: Ugh. So, we traverse the Clock Tower again, doing the same puzzles again. Bob: Ceuri! Ceuri: Bob! Bob: Ceuri, could you... maybe stop? Ceuri: Hm. I mean, I could do that. Hiro: Really? Ceuri: No. Hiro: Figures. Bob: Pretty please? Ceuri: I have my thumb on their very pulses! I could advance their aging instantly and kill them all! Would you want that? Mancala: Shit, this escalated quickly. Loyroll: Wouldn't that also speed up them having marriages and children and just usher in a very fast-growing next generation? Ceuri: No, because reasons. Loyroll: But no matter the speed, wouldn't they still just experience it at what they perceive to be the “normal” pace because everyone else around them is too? Ceuri: I SAID NO! Loyroll: Just trying to help you out... Ceuri: That's it, my lady-feels demand RETRIBUTION! Bob: But our happy childhood that we'll never show the players-- Ceuri: I said NO, God damn it! Bob: Well, 'k. -Boss Fight!- Chimera Ceuri LP: Doesn't matter MP: Ditto This isn't a real boss fight. It just goes on a set number of turns as Ceuri turns into a big ol' gargoyle thing with huge clawed hands and wings. Just block for a few turns and this will end itself. -Boss Fight!- Ceuri: That's it, if you don't GTFO, those people are dust! Mancala: … It's too much. We gotta fall back for now. Deima: Holy crap, the tension is so high that even Mancala has developed a conscience! The party flees, or tries too, but gets put in another time warp, dropping them outside the tower again. The door is locked with the ominous phrase “Ceuri has made this door as closed as her mind is”. At this point, we fall back to town. Bob: This is pro'lly my fault for reasons I won't ever expound upon. Hiro: This would be a lot easier if you could explain your childhood friendship, you know. Bob: I know. But I'm not gonna. But the humans here didn't like her, because she was a chimera. Deima: Wait, is this franchise really going to a “xenophobia is bad” message here? Bob: Yup. Why? Deima: Oh. No reason. Bob: So, they threw her out. But I was friends with her. Somehow. Don't really care to explain any more. Kimyawa: Ah! Maybe a token of friendship from her past! Bob: Maybe Fruit. Hiro: Like a fruit basket? Bob: No, moron. Fruit. The specific one Fruit that's always capitalized. Hiro: So... not an apple or an orange. Just... Fruit. Bob: That's right. Grows on a tree south of here. Hiro: Well okay then... So now, you venture south to the peninsula, where you'll find a Fruit tree. Have Ozma punch it to obtain a Fruit. Now we can return to Clock Tower with Bob. Ceuri: That smell... could that be... Fruit?! Hiro: So she knows what it too? And by scent, apparently. So now we're informed that Ceuri's heart and the door lock have melted and we can go back in for the third time to face her at the top floor. Ceuri: I hurt Bob badly. He won't forgive me. Bob: I'm right here. Ceuri: I'm so tired of being evil. I'd rather be the stock cliché about the one female villain suddenly having a change of heart while her male compatriots are evil, soulless monsters. Hiro: Kinda makes me wonder why we're even here then. Ceuri: Here, take the Wind Talisman. Hiro: I... for serious? Wow. I, uh... I'm not used to things going my way. Or people listening to reason. Thanks! You got: Wind Talisman! Ceuri: Bob, can you ever forgive me? Bob: I've been thinkin'... lot of fish in the sea. … Bye. Bob walks out. As he does, Kord drives on screen. Kord: Heya! I've been talked about a lot, so I thought I'd stop by and-- oh, hey, I think I walked in on something... you guys okay? How's everyone doing? Hiro: Uhh. We're... we're good. Kord: Good! Glad to hear it. But, see, I haven't really done much of anything, except summon the Grim Reaper! And good job on beating him, by the way! Oh, Ceuri? Ceuri: Yeah? Kord: Here, I need to give you this. Ceuri: What's this? Kord: A pink slip. And this. Ceuri: I'm fired?! And what's THIS?! Kord: Notification to your next of kin. See, Jaydea doesn't take bad news very well. So... you kind of screwed the pooch in a big way. Deima: If no one minds, we're just gonna exist stage left. Kord: Oh, yeah, don't mind us! Just ironing out some internal politics! Hiro: But-- Deima: No buts. Go, go! The party arrives outside, and the entire freaking Clock Tower up and disappears. Hiro: … What was the point of this chapter? Deima: To remind everyone playing that this is a JeffCom game. C'mon, we only have two talismans remaining. The party moves off-screen. A moment after, Kord walks out of the crater where the Clock Tower used to be. Kord: Y'know, that was rude. Trying to erase me from space and time. That'd have been dangerous if it had been... y'know... actually dangerous. Stupid bint.

[persephoneshellhounds]

Cigarettes to Ashes

[ trigger warning ]

I breathed in the cigarette smoke wafting around us, hoping it would kill me first before the emptiness I felt did. Absentmindedly, I also took a stick of Marlboro Ice Blast from the pack that was lying on the table, lit it, and placed it between my chapped lips. I didn’t normally smoke for the sheer pleasure of doing it, but I was in our drinking session, and I believed that a shot glass of cheap, local rum is best paired with my favorite cigarettes.

I took a hit, letting the smoke explore my mouth before puffing it all out. I surveyed my companions － Steve was a heartbroken fellow who was rejected by a girl he had been pining on for months because she couldn’t handle the thought of dealing with his anxiety attacks. Carl was the youngest among us and he who came from a broken family. And there was Ron, who had rocky relationship with his girlfriend, and in his late twenties, still thrived in self-destruction. I was looking at them and they were already hazy and were talking in loud voices. Even the walls and the furniture were blurred, and I knew that the alcohol had already taken effect.

We were a group of fucked-ups － a group of drunk, smoke-reeking miserable fucked-ups who couldn’t get to a decent bar and afford pricey alcohol, and so there we were in Ron’s house, particularly at the balcony. As usual, we were talking about the lies of the church, the mediocre education, and other things our intoxicated minds can think of. We were a group of fucked-ups but I loved us that way, even if that sounded pathetic or sick. At least with them, I didn’t have to pretend that I was okay and mentally stable.

“Hey, it’s your turn,” Ron said, interrupting my train of musings. My eyes moved to the shot glass laid before me on the table. A quarter of it was filled with Tanduay Dark and next to it was a glass full of water for a chaser. Without wasting any more second, I took the shot glass and tossed the alcohol down my throat. I felt its sting and heat momentarily burning my throat. I then drank the water to wash down the shot.

My fellow losers cheered on me as I did this. Carl even teased me that I might puke my guts out again at the back of Ron’s house when we’re done, just as I had the last time we got drunk together. “It was as if you were calling for crows!” the jerk said and they laughed.

“You bastard, I wasn’t!” I slapped his arms, rolled my eyes and just laughed with them, except for Steve who was trying to drunk-call the girl who dumped him.

He snickered. “Well, this bastard should go home now because if he doesn’t, he’s gonna see his clothes and stuff thrown out of the house,” he casually joked as he stood up. I looked at my wristwatch and saw that it was a quarter after seven in the evening.

“Boo, you loser!” I teased. It felt odd because I was always the one to go home first because I couldn’t hold the liquor as much as they could. Carl or Ron would send me home on their motorcycles and they would continue drinking until every one of them passed out from too much intoxication.

“Well, drive carefully,” I said. Carl nodded and made his way out of the makeshift gate.

“Bye bitches,” he hollered with a smile while looking at us as he got on his motorcycle. Soon, he was speeding away, leaving my jaw hanging ajar and Ron laughing.

“Damn, he was driving it so fast!” Ron exclaimed with a laughter before he took the shot glass to his lips and then the glass of water thereafter.

“I wonder which part of drive carefully he didn’t understand,” I replied while looking at him

“And I wonder when this friend of ours will stop crying,” Ron said, eyeing Steve who was on his phone, talking to the girl who dumped him. Tears were running down his cheeks and he was choking on his words.

“Leave him be,” I said. I knew that as friends, we should comfort him but I was thinking that it would be a bad idea because it would be the alcohol doing the talking, and not us.

“Okay,” Ron agreed. I noticed him moving his chair to sit closer to me. I decided to shrug it off. Minutes passed. We were still drinking and talking, and that was when I realized that his hands were on the small of my back. They then moved to caress my hair. Despite being tipsy, I found that odd and asked him what he was doing.

“Nothing.”

My mind was a mess because of the alcohol but I knew it wasn’t nothing. My inhibitions were lowered and I didn’t know what to do at that time. Everything was dark and blurry. Probably it was too dark. Probably it was because I was too intoxicated to make things out. I was about to talk him out of it when he leaned closer and the next thing I knew was that his mouth was pressing against mine.

It took a while before I realized what was happening, and I tried talking to Ron, telling him he was just drunk and didn’t know what he was doing.

“Ron, I don’t like you,” I said, not kissing back and struggling to be freed from his arms. “Besides, you have a girlfriend.”

“She wouldn’t know, it would be our secret,” he replied with a husky voice.

The sane part of my brain screamed at him, and I tried to push him away and evade his lips to no avail. “No,” I pleaded. “I don’t want this. I should go home, my mom’s gonna kill me.”

“Ssh,” he hushed, his lips traveling to my cheeks, and then to my jaw.

“Stop it. I don’t want it. I don’t want you,” I begged.

For a moment, he pulled away. I wiped his saliva my mouth and looked at Steve, who was still on phone, crying.

“You better throw up at the back now, instead of going home and risking your mom hearing you and finding out you’re drunk,” Ron said.

I looked at him. He was a blurry figure and I felt my head spinning. I looked at Steve who was oblivious of what was happening. I nodded silently and made my way to the back of their house. There, I inserted my fingers in my throat in order to trick my brain into vomiting.

Yet, there was nothing.

I heard some footsteps and saw Ron approaching. I didn’t know what to do and said that I should be going.

“Ssh, it’ll be quick,” he said with a soft voice, as if to pacify me, and the next thing I knew was he had had pinned me on the wall and he was touching my clothed body. I was frozen. He asked me to touch him too, guiding me to kneel.

“Please Ron. No,” I pleaded, shaking my head. He silenced my pleas by crashing his mouth into mine again.

Again, I tried to push him away. I was telling no many times, fighting off his hands and his lips. He pulled away once more, covered my mouth with his hands. “I won’t tell anybody. I respect you” he said in that sickeningly soft voice while kissing my temple. His other hand traveled to unzip my jeans and I gathered what’s left of my strength to push it away.

“I don’t want to, please, I should go home.”

He sighed. “Just do it and I’ll send you home, okay?” He said as he kissed me again and guided my hand to his member.

I closed my eyes and did as I told, stifling the sob from escaping my mouth, wondering which among my noes sounded like a yes.

When I went home that night, I felt some scratches on my back and on my upper lip. His taste, with a hint of nicotine, and hands lingered. I lied down and looked at the ceiling. I wanted to cry but the tears just won’t come out. I settled to mentally using swear words, but nothing made me okay.

I was too exhausted to analyze everything, and all I could think about was that he fucked up our friendship. He ruined me when I thought I couldn’t be any more broken. He betrayed my respect, my sympathy for his messed up life, and my trust. My thoughts were all over the place and it felt like my sanity would fade. Once again, I felt alone, and disgusted, and wronged. I was beyond rational. I could not think properly. It was like I was in a vortex of apathy.

And somewhere in that vortex, I reached for a pack of cigarettes on the drawer beside my bed. I took one, lit its tip and enveloped it between my bruised lips. One became two, and two became three, and so on.

And the night went on as a part of me faded away with each stick, until all that’s left was the ash.

— Fray Narte