#okay back to the google docs fr
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all the dog coded bucky stuff is the light of my life, cannot get enough of it (obviously), but hear me out: what about a buckbucky oneshot with the opposite– cat coded gale? i have many Thoughts and would love to hear further ones and as much as i think he fits both dog and cat traits well, it would be fun to flip the dog motifs and do something cat related for him <3
#i think i talked about this briefly in response to an ask a few months ago. maybe not?? but just having a think rn lol#i am also biased because i'm very much a cat person oops#cat coded buck#buckbucky#clegan#not starting a new wip atm bc i've got my hands full with both chaptered fics but i RLY wanna play around with this at some point!#okay back to the google docs fr
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Gosh I wished mobile had the line spacing options on google docs. It’ll make writing outside much easier :/
#honestly#especially when going to paste it on ao3#cause damn the double spacing fucking annoying fr#how am i supposed to fix my work with the ‘add space after paragraph’ if there’s no option on mobile#sometimes i dont have a computer with me okay 😭#and aint no way i have to go back and edit out every single double spacing on ao3#why google docs got no button for it#help me someone pls#is there an option on mobile 😭
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cw injuries, desc of blood, scara patching reader up, profanity bc its a sixosix fic AND it’s scara, wc 500
for @scarahearts the craziest scara main
“so annoying,” wanderer hisses under his breath, cursing again. his breath is on your skin, almost as scorching as the scowl he’s wearing. “infuriating. is your hobby getting on people’s nerves?”
“is your hobby degrading your patients?” you retort, then yelp when he tightens the bandage a little too hard. “ow— fuck you!”
he smirks smugly at your defeated glare, but it fades quickly and back to a frown when blood seeps from the cloth.
you murmur and fidget, “sorry for inconveniencing you.”
his gaze snaps up, sharp. that was probably the wrong thing to say.
“thanks for helping me…?” you try instead. he rolls his eyes.
wanderer stares at your plastered arm for a moment too long, eyes tracing the curve of your elbow, where blood is seeping and staining the once beige bandage dirty red. he then sneers, a snarl of teeth; you can almost see in his eyes where he’s replaying the exact moment you were picked up and thrown to the ground.
you almost want to say that shouki no kami did the same thing to you (read: the balladeer himself), but you have a feeling that those canines aren’t for show, and he’ll end up biting your arm off or something.
you’re startled out of your skin when he suddenly grabs your chin with his hand, rough and demanding you to get a clear view of his displeased expression. ...and yet the grip he has on your injured arm is gentle. a mess of contradictions, a push and a pull, a scowl and a brush of skin—hate, and love.
“when will it get in your fucking head—” he enunciates each word by pulling you closer and closer to him, until your faces are a heavy breath away, “—that you have travel companions for a reason? am i just for show? a doll for you to show off?”
instinctively, you back away, a little bit of fear racing in your heart at the familiar hostile face he’s making. “it’s not that! it’s— i wasn’t— thinking.”
“right. because nothing ever goes in that pretty little head of yours,” wanderer muses, readily agreeing.
“hey,” you fume, face burning.
“you disagree? prove me wrong, then.” he still doesn’t let go of your face. and although puppets do not need to breathe, there’s warm air shared between the two of you where his lips are in close distance with yours. “prove to me that you aren’t forgetting i can fight just as well as you. that i am completely capable of protecting myself and you.”
“that’s not…” you want to say that your little incident didn’t involve any of that, but his gaze is fierce. you realize that it may not be your intention, but it might be what came off to him. “...okay.”
after a beat, you add; an afterthought, “you don’t have to protect me. you saw that i was able to beat their asses easi—” at his unimpressed stare, you correct yourself, “—with a bit of slipping here and there. still, i won.”
“not without an almost severed arm.”
without thinking too much about it, you say, “let’s protect each other, then.”
surprise flits across wanderer’s expression before it settles into something like muted satisfaction. “don’t make it a promise, so you can’t break it.” it’s the closest you can get a ‘yes’ out of him.
im gonna be honest i dont know where this came from like i literally tokd myself if im gonna write a genshin fic itll be HEIZOU. but this bitch held me hostage at 2am with a phone and google docs open — and then i made it happen fr for ellie cus we both lost our minds over the scara art in the 3.8 stream
#606:GENSHIN#??#genshin impact x reader#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche fluff#scaramouche x you#genshin impact x you#wanderer x reader#scaramouche drabble#x reader#genshin x reader#wanderer x you#kunikuzushi x reader
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IT’S TORTURE BUT I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER OKAY 😭 IM FINALLY PAST THE “STRUGGLING WITH GARFIEL’S ACCENT” STAGE AND IN THE “WHAT THE FUCK EVEN ARE HIS SAYINGS AND METAPHORS THAT HE MAKES UP ON THE FLY” STAGE…
maybe the real test of how big of a rezero fan you are is how well you can read or write garfiel’s dialogue. ever thought of that
#rezero#garfiel tinsel#for further context for anyone reading this. a while back someone LITERALLY made a little google doc thats like a glossary of how words#change in garf’s language. like how if he’s saying ‘you’ most of the time its gonna turn into ‘ya’ u know??#😭😭 someone LITERALLY made a glossary for his accent. i.#its okay garfiel i still love u fr fr#even when ur accent gets So Strong in translations HAH
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I put up a little survey but no one answered it. How dare you all go on living your lives when I'm posting important things like whether or not I should post this all at once or break it up. So, this is YOUR fault it's been released as a whole ;).
A/N ::: NOT EVEN GONNA FUCKING LIE this was about 15 pages on Google Docs. BUT IN MY DEFENSE I have been working on this for 3 days. And if I'd been left alone like I wanted to be, I'd have not carried on and on like this. So, blame everyone around me that insists on interrupting me while I'm tryin' to write this story that wasn't supposed to be this damn long. ANY-DAMN-WAY. I hope someone out there reads this, despite it being the size of a damn Steinbeck piece of lit.
Disclaimer ::: This is NOT literature.
Seriously, please ... someone enjoy this.
C/W ::: Chifuyu x F.reader x Baji, cheating, sneaking around and sex.
WC ::: 4,765 (I'M SO SORRY. FR THIS TIME)
MDNI under the cut please and thank you.
When Chifuyu introduced you to the man he looked up to - his mentor - his hero, you didn't really think much of it at first. It didn't register how he stopped breathing when he shook your hand and said hello. How his eyes blew out, fully black. Lacking the subtlety of a man who wasn't your lover.
You weren't anything special. At least, you didn't think you were. Chifuyu introduced you as "the most pretty girl he's ever laid eyes on" and Baji couldn't deny that was the loudest truth he's ever heard. He'd never been so jealous of anyone as he is right now. But what could he do about it? Take you away from the man who was like a little brother to him?
He didn't want to. But he couldn't help how he felt when he was around you. He couldn't help how his mouth went dry when you said "Hi, Baj'! How are you today? Lovin' the hair as usual!" And you would wink at him thinking you looked like a total dork and then you'd skitter off to find Chifuyu.
It was easy to fall for you. Especially when you were so sweet, always asking how his day was, making him laugh, smiling that pretty smile at him. His heart was yours. But he knew yours belonged to Chifuyu. And it was getting to a point where he had trouble being around you two at the same time. He wasn't angry or anything. But his heart hurt.
It'd beat out of his chest whenever you'd sit down next to him on the couch or in the back seat of the car. He started to not come around as much.
And one day, you went over there to find Chifuyu because Mikey said that he was at Baji's place and it'd be fine if you popped over to get him.
So, you did just that. Except Chifuyu wasn't there. It was just Keisuke. And he was sitting on his bed with a book in his hand and a sad look in his eyes.
He seemed surprised to see you when you approached his room.
"Hey, Baj'," you said softly, "I'm sorry for coming over without calling first but I don't have your number." You leaned against his doorway with your hand on your hip. Smiling that goddamn smile of yours at him like you have absolutely no idea how he feels.
He shook his head. "It's okay. Chifuyu isn't here so if you were looking for him … you’re outta luck."
"Oh. Do you know where he is?"
"Nope. I don't think he's coming back here anytime soon either."
"Ah," you said, "so we're both out of luck."
Baji swallowed hard. "Yeah, ok. Well, bye, I guess. It was nice seeing you."
You smiled again. "Oh! O-ok, Baj'. Maybe I'll ... see you … I’ll see you ‘round."
He only had the strength to say "yeah, maybe" as you walked out of his room and out of his place. Because if he opened his mouth the only words that were going to come out were "I love you, y/n. Please give me a chance. I feel like I'm going to explode every time I'm in the same room with you and I don't get to touch your soft skin."
But he didn't say that. He couldn't. And he spent the rest of his night alone, wishing he had someone to hold him. Someone to tell him everything was going to be okay. Someone who loved him as much as he loved you. Someone who loved him as much as you loved Chifuyu.
You eventually tracked Chifuyu down and you told him about how sad Baji seemed tonight.
"Do you think I should go talk to him?" He asked.
"No," you replied. "I don't think he's in the mood to talk. He seemed really sad, though. He looked like he wanted to cry."
"Should we just leave him alone?"
"Yeah, I think so. But let's check on him tomorrow. Maybe he'll be more up to talking then."
"Ok. I hope so."
You didn't mean to, but you caught a glimpse of Chifuyu's face before he turned away. It was like he knew something. Like he knew that Baji had a crush on you. And maybe he did. Baji wasn't subtle at all. He was obvious and open and loud about his feelings. He wore them on his sleeve. And Chifuyu is the type to notice things. Especially about someone he already paid such close attention to. But none of this could be helped. Not really.
So, you left it alone.
A few weeks later, all the boys came over to hang out. And you sat down next to Baji on the couch like you usually did and you leaned your head on his shoulder. He tensed up and then relaxed. And you heard him sniffle a bit.
"Baj'? Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, voice breaking.
"You're crying."
He turned his face away from you and wiped his eyes. "Sorry, y/n. It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
"Hey, I'm your friend. I worry about you. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just ... just … stupid shit. Ok? I don't wanna talk about it."
You nodded and patted his knee. "Ok, well, I'm here if you need me." And you got up and walked down the hallway to your room to grab a sweatshirt.
What you didn't know is that Baji got up and followed you. And when you turned around, he was standing there. He reached out and grabbed your hand. And he brought it up to his mouth and kissed it.
"B-Baji?"
"I'm sorry, y/n. I can't do this anymore."
"Do what?"
"I can't ... I can't sit here and watch you and Chifuyu be all lovey dovey. It's fucking with my head, ok? I don't want to feel this way but I do and it's killing me inside. I've tried to stop it. I've tried everything and nothing works."
You pulled your hand back. "What are you … Baji? I don't understand."
"I'm saying that I like you, ok? And I don't know how to stop."
"I understand that but why the fuck are you telling me this now? Jesus, Baj'." You sat down on your bed, folding the sweatshirt up on your lap and holding it close to your chest.
Baji sat down next to you and put his hand on your arm. "I know it's stupid and I know you and Chifuyu are happy together. But I need you to know. I need you to know how much you mean to me. How much I wish it was me instead of him."
You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You didn't know Baji felt this way. You didn't think he ever looked at you like that. And you didn't know what to say. You were speechless.
"I'm sorry, y/n," he said again, "I'm sorry I fucked everything up. I'll go."
But before he could get up, you grabbed his wrist. "Wait," you said. "Don't go."
He turned back to you, face red and impossibly handsome. How had you never seen this before? How completely fucking beautiful he is. And how could you have missed the way he looked at you?
"I'm … sorry, Baj'. I'm sorry I never knew."
"It's not your fault, y/n. I don't blame you for anything. You can't help how you feel."
You nodded.
"What does that mean? Why are you nodding?"
You took his hand and held it in yours. "I don't know." The look in your eyes made him feel something he hadn't felt in so long. And he couldn't help but process that as some fresh new hell. Some new hurt. But still, he was stupidly hopeful.
Even though he didn't want to. He didn't want to think that maybe you could be his. But the way you looked at him right then gave him the tiniest bit of hope that maybe it was possible.
"Y/n? Babe? Where're ya at?" You pulled your hand from Baji's and put them on your lap.
"Sh-shit!" Baji said. "We're in here, Chifuyu. The bedroom." He said as casually as he could muster.
"Tryin' steal my girl, asshole?" Chifuyu laughed half-heartedly.
Baji did not. "Nah, man. Just talking. Catching up."
"Yeah. Ok. Well, Mikey says time to go."
"Shit, already? It's only been an hour."
"Yeah, he wants us all at his place. So, we should go. Don't wanna keep the boss waiting."
"Right. Ok, let's go." Baji got up and walked past Chifuyu without looking him in the eyes. "See ya around, y/n."
"Bye, Baj’-i. Baji." you said. You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what to do.
Baji left and Chifuyu looked at you with a frown. "What's wrong, babe?"
"Nothing."
"Doesn't look like nothing."
"It's nothing, really. Baji was just telling me about some ... something. No biggie. So you're leaving?" You got up and hugged him, trying not to think about the few minutes you and Baji had alone in your room. Holding hands on your bed.
Chifuyu hugged you back. "Yeah, sorry. Mikey says it's important. So, I gotta go. But I'll be back in the morning. Promise."
"Ok, well, I'll talk to you later, yeah? Be safe, Chi." You kissed him and he kissed you back like it was as easy to do as breathing and that broke you down a little bit more than you had anticipated.
What the hell is happening, you wondered. No, you knew what was happening. What is happening. And it was bad. It was so fucking bad. Because you couldn't stop thinking about Baji and his sweet face and his sad eyes. And how it would be nice to hold him and kiss him and make him feel better.
But that was insane. Wasn't it? You loved Chifuyu. You didn't want to be with anyone else. But then why did you feel this way? Why did you want to call Baji and tell him you felt the same?
You didn't know what to do. You were lost. And it was getting harder to pretend you were okay. Especially when you were around Baji. Especially especially when you were around Baji and Chifuyu at the same time.
So, you got into your bed and you texted Chifuyu a good night and a "miss you already" and you waited for him to text you his usual good night text.
It wasn't long and your phone vibrated. You smiled and picked it up next to you on the bed. Picking it up, you were anticipating what cute little thing Chifuyu was going to say to you.
Your smile only grew more wide when you saw it wasn't Chifuyu who'd texted you.
It was Baji.
"What you doin', y/n?" He asked.
"Hi Baj'. I'm in bed. What you doin'?"
"Same. Just wanted to say g'night."
"Oh, ok. Well, thanks. G'night, Baji. Sweet dreams, yeah?"
"Gonna try and dream about you. And you can't stop me so don't come over here and try to or anything dumb like that, y/n. Got it?"
You surprised yourself: not only with how hard you laughed but that you were up and out of your bed before you knew what happened. Throwing on some leggings and a hoodie and heading out the front door.
Apparently, heading to Baji's place.
"Jesus Christ," he laughed when he opened the door. "Did you sprint here? You're a fucking mess."
"Yeah? Thanks! Anyway, I did run here. And I'm here, aren't I? You're not the only one who can't sleep." Your breathing started to level out after a minute or two of standing there with him.
He couldn't deny that he was missing how your chest heaved when your breathing was heavy. Even behind the baggy sweatshirt. He was missing the way your eyes sparkled in the dark. The way your hair looked messy and adorable. He was missing everything about you.
Until you got there, that is.
"Come in," he said, "make yourself at home."
"Thank you. So, what's up? Why can't you sleep?"
He shrugged. "Don't know. Just thinking too much."
"About?"
He rolled his eyes. "You know about what."
You nodded. "I do. And I think we need to talk about it, yeah? It's getting weird."
Baji swallowed and nodded. "Yeah. You're making things really awkward, y/n. I don't know how much more I can take - going on like this. You're a real pain in my ass."
You gasped, exaggerating hurt feelings and pushed him over on the living room couch. You climbed on top of him before you even knew what was happening.
And though you were only intending to tickle him and make him suffer in the most innocent way, it quickly evolved into something neither one of you had any business exploring with one another.
You felt his hands on your hips and his lips on yours before you had time to process it. And you had no idea what was going on.
You didn't know what to do.
But you knew you didn't want to stop. You didn't want to stop him.
"B-Baji," you said, pulling back just a bit. "Ffffuck! Baj'! Wh-what the hell!"
"I don't know," he said, "I just ... I couldn't help it."
"Yeah, well … neither can I. But we have to stop. We can't do this. We can't do this to Chifuyu! Fuck, man!"
You pulled back and jumped off him. And you started pacing around the living room.
"We can't do this, Baj'. We can't do this to him. We can't."
Baji got up and grabbed your waist, spinning you around to face him. He pulled you flush against the front of his body and kissed you again.
Harder this time.
With more purpose.
And you didn't have the strength to push him away.
You gave in.
Because you wanted to feel him. You wanted to be touched by him and you wanted to touch him. And you couldn't help yourself.
But you knew it was wrong. You knew it was bad.
"Baj'," you said, "we can't. We can't do this." You said between breaths and smashing your lips against his. You had your hands twisted and tangled up in his long, dark hair. Pulling on it as though it would get you even closer to him than you already were.
But it wouldn't.
It couldn't.
And you knew that. You both knew that.
But you couldn't stop. And it didn't matter that you had no idea what was going to happen after tonight.
All you could focus on is what was happening right now.
And right now, you were kissing Baji like it was the last thing you were ever going to do. Like he was the last person you were ever going to touch. Like he was the one who mattered the most.
Like you were never going to be the same again.
Because you weren't.
And you knew you weren't.
So, you did the only thing you could do in this situation:
You said fuck it and kept kissing him.
You said fuck it to what you and Chifuyu had.
You said fuck it to your morals. Fuck it to your conscience. Fuck it all.
Nothing had ever felt so right.
Not in a long time.
Not since you started dating Chifuyu.
And that's when you knew. You knew it was never going to be over, this thing that was blooming between you and Baji.
And you weren't sure what you were going to do about that.
So, you let Baji kiss you and hold you and make love to you that night. You let him because you needed it. You needed him.
And you knew that no matter what happened, it was never going to be the same.
Because you couldn't live without Baji.
Not anymore.
Not now that you'd seen him and touched him and loved him.
No, it wasn't going to be the same. Not ever.
And you were okay with that.
You were okay with it because you knew that it was always supposed to be like this.
Baji was always supposed to be yours.
And you were always supposed to be his.
You were always supposed to be together.
And it felt like the universe was finally putting everything back where it was always supposed to be.
You were complete.
And you had no idea what that meant or what it was going to lead to.
A couple of weeks after this started, Chifuyu asked you to go out with him and Baji. He said it wasn't going to be anything special. Not a date, though, just the three of you going out for dinner, maybe drinks.
You said yes.
Because you couldn't say no.
And Baji couldn't either.
You couldn't look at Chifuyu because you felt so bad.
But you had to.
You had to look at him.
You wanted to tell him.
You wanted to tell him everything.
You wanted to tell him how you felt.
You wanted to tell him how you were feeling about Baji. About him. About you and Chifuyu's relationship as it stood now. About you and Baji's relationship. That shouldn't even exist.
But it did.It does.
And you weren't sure how to explain that.
You weren't sure how to tell him that you'd fallen in love with his best friend.
You weren't sure how to tell him that you were fucking said best friend and that it wasn't just sex.
It was love.
It was so much more than anything you’d ever experienced.
So, you sat there.
You sat there next to Chifuyu, holding his hand.
And you sat there across from Baji, your feet touching under the table at the booth. Your eyes staring back at the other's for longer than should have been acceptable.
"I'm gonna go grab some water," Chifuyu said, "you guys want anything else?"
"Nah, I'm good," Baji said.
"Me too," you said.
He nodded and walked over to the counter.
And Baji leaned forward. "We can't do this, y/n. We can't keep this up. I can't keep going like this. I can't keep sitting across from you and pretending like I don't want to rip your fucking clothes off and eat your pussy for the next 4 hours. That I don't want to fuck you stupid. I'm fucking getting hard right now just talking about it, y/n! Fuck."
"I know. I know, Baj'. This is killing me. I feel like I'm going to explode."
"What are we going to do? I can't lose you. And I won't lose Chifuyu. He's my best friend. But you're my, goddamn it y/n ... you're my soulmate."
"I … what?"
He nodded. "Yeah. And I know that sounds crazy and stupid but it's the truth. We were made for each other. I feel it. Do you feel it?"
"I , Baj'. I do. But we can't keep this up. We can't do this to Chifuyu."
Neither of you noticed him walk up to the table. "Do what to me? What are you guys goin' on about?"
Baji and you looked at each other. "Nothing," you said.
"You were talkin' about me, weren't you? Did you guys have a fight or something? Is that why you're over here whispering and shit?"
"N-no!" Baji said. "No, we didn't have a fight or anything like that. We were just talking, man. Just talking."
Chifuyu didn't seem to believe him. He squinted his eyes at the two of you and then shrugged. "Ok. Whatever. Anyway, here's your water. What do you guys want to eat?"
You didn't know. You didn't know what you wanted to eat. You didn't know if you wanted to eat. Ever again. All you could think about is how much this was going to hurt Chifuyu. And how much it was going to hurt Baji. And you.
But you had no choice.
You had to tell him.
You had to tell Chifuyu.
And you couldn't put it off any longer.
"Chi, Baj' has something he wants to tell you!" you yelled out so loudly the whole restaurant stopped whatever they were doing to stare at the disruptive girl.
"The FUCK, y/n!" Baji yelled back at you. "What the fuck are you doing?!" He hissed at you.
You shrugged. "I can't do this anymore, Baj'. I can't keep hiding it. I can't keep lying. It's not fair to him."
"You're gonna fucking do it now?"
You nodded.
And Chifuyu looked between the two of you. "What the hell is going on? What are you guys hiding?"
"I ... um ... we ... we've been sleeping together," Baji said, hanging his head.
"You fucking what?" Chifuyu looked at you. "You've been fucking my best friend? Behind my back? Are you fucking kidding me, y/n? You're fucking kidding me. This isn't funny. This isn't funny at all."
"I'm sorry, Chi. I didn't mean for this to happen. It just did. It's not like we planned it or anything. It just happened."
"Yeah, it just happened! That's real fucking convenient. You just accidentally fell onto his dick. Real fucking nice, y/n. I can't believe you. I can't believe either of you. You know what? Fuck this shit. You guys deserve each other. I hope you're happy together." Chifuyu threw his napkin down on the table and stormed out of the restaurant.
Leaving you and Baji at the table and everyone in there staring at you again.
You got up and started to chase after Chifuyu. Baji just sat there, taking a sip of his drink. "Fuckin' shit," he said, "this was a bad idea."
You found Chifuyu outside, sitting on a bench next to the entrance of the restaurant. "H-hey," you said, sitting down next to him.
"Leave me alone, y/n. I don't want to talk to you."
"I know. I'm sorry, ok? I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Chi. You know that, right? You know I would never want to hurt you on purpose."
"Yeah, well, you did. You did hurt me. And you have been hurting me for weeks."
"Chi, you have to under- wait, what did you just say? You've known about this? Chi!"
"Yeah, I fucking knew about it. I'm not an idiot. I could tell you guys had something going on. And I let it go because I thought it was nothing. I thought it was a crush or something. I thought I could trust you BOTH to do the right thing here. Instead, you've been fucking each other - behind my back, for weeks and NOT telling me how you felt. You know, the worst part is, I'm not even that surprised. Baji is great. You're great. It was inevitable that you two would find your way into each other's arms. I mean, come on, now. You'd have to be fucking blind to not want to be with either of you."
"I'm so sorry, Chi." You had tears running down your face. But you weren't sure why you were crying. It was all just a lot to process. Chifuyu's reaction, Baji's lack of reaction. All of it.
"It's fine. I'm not mad at you, y/n. I'm mad at Baji. And I'm mad at myself for not seeing this coming. For not stopping it before it went too far. For being in love with you when you're clearly in love with him."
You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what to do. So, you just sat there.
And you let Chifuyu talk.
"I think I knew it was happening before it did. I tried to ignore it. I tried to pretend like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. And it still is."
"I'm so sorry, Chi. I … honest to God never ... ever never wanted to hurt you."
"But you did. And I can't forgive you for that. I don't know if I ever will. And we can't be together anymore. Not now."
"I understand." You had to choke out those words. They were getting caught in your throat as you tried not to sob.
"Fuck. Don't cry, y/n. We can still be friends. I mean, I don't hate you or anything. I'll just never trust you with anything important. Ever again. Like, ever."
"I know. I know, Chi. I get it."
He nodded. "Ok. Well, I'm gonna go. You should go back in there and talk to Baji. Tell him what happened. He deserves to know how badly he fucked up."
"Y- … I will."
"Good. Take care, y/n. And tell him I said good luck with you. That he's dating a whore, liar and cheater. Tell him I said to have fun with that."
You forced yourself to laugh. You knew Chifuyu well enough to know he didn't mean everything he just said to you. Maybe ⅔’s of it. Though you wouldn't bet money on which ⅔’s he was referring to.
Walking back to the restaurant you saw Baji sitting at the table. His shoulders slumped down and his head hung over the table.
"Hey," you said, sitting down across from him.
"What happened? Did you find Chifuyu?"
"Yeah. He was outside. He left"
"Oh. Ok."
"He knows, Baj'. He knew all along."
"Fuck, y/n! Why didn't you tell me that? You should have told me that. Jesus Christ, man! That changes everything."
"I didn't know he knew! Stop yelling at me! You're just as responsible for this shit as I am! Maybe more!"
"Yeah, ok. Whatever. It's done. Let's just go home."
"What? Home? Where is home?"
"You know where it is. My place. You know, the place you've been fucking me every night for the past 2 weeks. The place where you've been sleeping with me and lying to my best friend. Yeah, that home. You remember that one, right?"
"Yeah, I'm familiar." You scowled at him.
"Ok, good." He stood from the table and walked toward the exit, not waiting for you.
You followed him out, running to catch up. You walked next to him in silence, the tension thick in the air around you.
Neither of you had any idea what was going to happen next.
You didn't know if you were going to be together. after this. If you should be together after this.
And you didn't know what to do about it.
So, you did the only thing you could: You kept walking until you got to Baji's house.
And when you got there, you went inside.
Because you didn't want to think about anything else.
The emptiness you felt in the fresh absence of Chifuyu was so painful that you wanted to escape this reality. And the only way to do that was to let yourself be whisked away by Baji in the little fantasy world the two of you had created a couple of weeks ago in his room.
He pulled you down onto the bed and rest his hand on the curve of your waist and he put his forehead against yours.
"I'm sorry." He said.
"Sorry?" You whispered back to him. All the while, thinking about his lips and the rest of him and how it was all yours for the taking now. You could have him in his entirety.
You didn't know what you were going to do with that.
"Yeah. I'm sorry for all this. I shouldn't have fallen in love with you. I knew better."
"Baj'. You're not the only one who fell here. I love you too. So hard and so fast. I don't know what the fuck happened."
He kissed your mouth, his lips just grazing yours. It sent a jolt down your spine. You know that kiss. You know what it means. The look in his eyes. On his face. You'd become well acquainted with Baji's everything over the last few weeks.
Except now, it didn't hurt to acknowledge it. That you liked it. That you sat around, fantasizing about it when you weren't together. And that you thought about him more than you wanted to admit to yourself.
You wrapped your hand around the back of his head and held him tightly by the hair, pulling him on top of you. He pushed into you, grinding his hips against yours as he kissed you with a ferocity that you couldn't deny.
You were never going to be the same after tonight.
Not ever.
Not after Baji.
@kazutora-kurokawa @katkusuo @viburnt @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers smut#chifuyu matsuno#chifuyu smut#baji keisuke#keisuke baji#baji smut#tokyo rev#tokyo rev smut#tokrev#tokrev smut#tokyo revengers x reader#chifuyu x reader#baji x reader#keisuke x reader#baji x you#chifuyu x you#chifuyu x y/n#baji x y/n#tokyo rev x reader
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IT’S ME, I’M ALIVE, UR GIRL IS BACK FR FR.
Okay, calming down now. Hi, how are you doing? I hope you’ve been good. I AM SO SORRY I haven’t commented on your new chapter releases, I’ve been having a rough time, year 12 is hard man, and I still have like two more terms of school after this one, and then university. I promise you I have read every chapter you’ve dropped, even if I haven’t commented. I’ve been lamenting for days on whether or not to send you an ask bcs like, ur my fav and ya know, it’s only fair I do bcs I follow you anyway lol but I also have no idea what to say, ur making me shy, damn. I’ve just been lurking in your Tumblr feed, liking all ur posts like a gremlin bcs sending an ask is too scary, (forgive me, for I am a coward). How long has it been since I last commented, I don’t even know 🙁.
I’m writing this as a draft in Google Docs in the middle of my maths double, who writes a draft for an ask? Me, I write drafts for asks apparently, yikes man. The maths part doesn't matter, I do not care for it.
I still love every single one of your chapters, ESPECIALLY THE READING THE BOOK ONES!! LIKE HELLO?!?!? POSEIDON FOR BEST FATHER!?!?! Sobbing, screaming, crying after reading that, I love the sea fam. Percy is so bbg too, like hold him in my hands and give him lil forehead kisses kinda bbg, so precious. AND just the campers, they're so cute, I love when Camp Half-Blood actually comes across as a family, or like an actual camp, the singing around the camp-fire is so wholesome, and Will being Percy's hype-man, like c'mon man, they're just best buddies, I love that for them.
It is deeply important to me that you understand just how much I love your fics, and just like ur content in general. When I get bored I always check my emails for updates or I go on ur Tumblr and just scroll, like I love u pookie, fr.
I’m just gonna send this as is, I’m psyching myself out over this hahah. I’ll try and get around to commenting on chapters again, especially one’s I’ve missed, and if I have time I might just start sending them via Tumblr. I need like somewhere to list everything I wanna talk abt in the comments.
Anyway, bye bye, see u soon.
Fun fact, in however long I’ve had Tumblr, this is my first ask :3
PS: I just realised I never put my name lol, it’s Smoll_Satan. This is my Tumblr account 👍.
OH MY GOD HELLO??? WELCOME BACK GIRL??? YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED TRUST 🤞🏻
I’m doing great, school is kicking my butt :( trying not fail this semester as the moment. Year 12 (which I’m taking a wild guess and saying that is junior year, in American terms) is known as the hardest and most stressful year, so no judgement here girlie!
Don’t fear girl! I’m not scary at all, I’m like the literal least intimidating person on the planet. I’m just a girl I promise. I saw you go through and like my posts and I was giggling everytime I got a notification bc that was really nice 😭
Writing in your docs is so real because I have done the EXACT same thing so many times, mostly bc I fear tumblr is gonna bug out on me ;( Also I hate math too, it irks my soul.
THANK YOU. POSEIDON IS GETTING HIS REDEMPTION ARK. TRUST ME. I was screaming writing that, i was just so surprised that I wrote that because I lovedddd it.
Will and Percy are best bro’s but Percy is ready to threaten him when he and Nico get together. Trust Percy is a protective older brother… (the singing was so sweet :(()
GIRL I LOVE YOU OH M GEE YOU’RE SO SWEET. I love seeing your comments, whilst you look for my chapters I go looking in my comments for your comment.
Don’t psych yourself out when it comes to Tumblr asks! I love them, like I find it so amazing. If you do comment trust I’ll be replying to each one, they are the source of my amusement for each chapter. (literally have cackled reading your commentary)
BYE! 🫶🏻🫶🏻
#girl your amazing#it’s the best part of posting my chapters is seeing long commenters like you#percy jackson#fanfiction#mir answers
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Hi there! first off, I LOVE your fics so much! Secondly, I’d like to request for Stede since I agree, there is a lack of fics for him!! I love the way you’ve written for him so far. Feel free to ignore this if you don’t feel like writing it for whatever reason, of course 💟
Though, perhaps I could request a Stede x reader where the reader sees Black Pete and Lucius’ romance blossom and they think it’s the most endearing thing ever but it also makes them a bit nervous because they have feelings toward someone in the crew (Stede) and they don’t know the first thing about how to express it. Stede noticed the reader is down one day and they accidentally spill their dilemma but they leave Stede’s name out. So then Stede is giving the reader courting lessons pretty much and then after the lessons have “concluded” and Stede’s like “okay now go get ‘em!” pretty much, the reader stands there and is basically repeating back everything they learned to him. He’s not taking the hint so he’s like yes that was wonderful practice, now go and tell the lucky person all of this! And the reader is like well…it’s you. And confessions both ends ensue blah blah💕again if you don’t feel inclined to write this, no worries! Wasn’t sure if you are taking romantic requests for him. But maybe even if you aren’t this plot could still apply just minus the part where the reader uses it on Stede, where he gives the reader courting lessons still and it’s all cute and fluffy?
Stede Bonnet x Reader
Words: 3130
Google docs pages: 5
Warnings: None? Reader is bad with emotions, they don’t know what to do with love. Is the author's inability to write non-tragic romance also a warning? Nah but fr it’s the best fluff I can offer!
Opening: You watch Pete and Lucius’ relationship blossom, becoming jealous of it. Stede notices you being down more often and tries to help, when you end up telling him of a crush you have. He offers to teach you ways to confess, though he doesn’t seem to realise who this crush truly is.
AN// Reader can be any gender ! Thank you for this request, ahh. I don’t usually get excited over fluff, but if it’s for Stede I’m here for it. I hope this came out good !^^ I’m still learning to write for him, this being only the second fic I've made for him wahh
“Go get em’ !”
There were no other words to describe how you felt when you saw Pete and Lucius be able to embrace their love, other than jealousy and melancholy. How they could so openly tell each other that they loved one another, how they could spend time together freely and knew how to tell the other how they felt. If you would have been able to do that, you wouldn’t even be in this position. This feeling wasn’t even you wishing anything bad for them, only wishing that you could have something that they had, with the person you fancied.
But that person walked on deck, having no clue of your silent feelings and admiration. And if you didn’t soon find it in you to somehow tell him, you feared you’d miss your chance eventually. Hell, he was an attractive man and surely there’d come another if you sat at the sidelines and did nothing. But what could you do?
Your whole life, you hadn’t been the emotional kind. Showing any feelings that would show vulnerability was almost automatically forbidden for you. Far before you’d even heard of the Gentleman pirate had you been like this. A rough life at the sea hadn’t been kind, and even if it was more so now, you lived in the olden days. And most of the time when it turned out to be a fault in the new crew, you looked at Izzy and excused yourself. He was similar, so why should you try to change? Being the way you’d always been was comforting in a way, and learning a new set of behaviours sounded exhausting. Having to open up more, and be able to tell someone you cared for that you loved them felt impossible because of that. What if you came off as rude? Or even worse, if they didn’t even feel the same. Especially on a ship where you had to meet the same people every day, having to face the person who rejected you felt horrifying. And you couldn’t possibly keep avoiding this person, he was your captain after all.
Stede Bonnet. The former rich landowner, who had abandoned his previous life in exchange for a pirate’s. An idea that you thought you would possibly never truly understand the reason for. From growing up on a pirate ship, to being a permanent member of his crew, you had no idea why one would like to become a pirate. Almost every day was a fight to win, but this man somehow stayed positive and had taught his crew manners you’d never seen on a ship. You had thought you would never be able to fit in, but so you did. Because he had welcomed you with open arms, like he had known you his whole life. He didn’t care about what you’d done, who you had been or where you’d come from. He cared about who you were now. A truly admirable person in your eyes.
Not to mention, you had an eye for nice fabrics and clothes. You’d never been able to afford them, nor were they practical in the action you had to take part in daily, but did they look nice. And he wore them well, all the ones he’d brought with him on the ship. All the nice colours, shapes and textures were a sight for a sore eye. You didn’t know if he’d ever noticed you checking out his outfits, but you hoped not. What would he even think? If he didn’t know why you were staring, you assumed he would think you were just creepy. Another reason why you didn’t want to confess to him.
But did all of this make your chest ache, long for something that you were almost positive you couldn’t reach. The thoughts started making you distance yourself when the time gave you the possibility. You’d spent time at the bow of the ship, or all the way up in the crowsnest. Places where you could be alone for a moment, to try and convince yourself that eventually you’d tell him.
But during all of this, you failed to notice that your absence hadn’t gone unnoticed, as much as you had hoped that would have been the case. Stede noticed soon after, starting to note that you seemed awfully upset. He had planned to ask you about it, but never could. He almost started blaming himself, if he had done something wrong to scare you off? Perhaps you wanted to leave the crew all together for a yet unknown reason? He knew if that was the case that he would never be able to stop you, but he could always try. Which had originally been the reason why he’d come looking for you. And if you were going to leave, he wanted to say his goodbyes, as much as it pained him to even think of that possibility.
Once more, you leaned to the railing of the ship, watching the vessel make its way forward. Sometimes you wondered if this feeling was all your fault. You were the one basking in melancholy instead of changing. Yet, these thoughts never had enough power to make you actually quit these habits.
The sound of someone coming towards from the hallway near you brought you back from your thoughts. To your horror and pleasure, it was Stede. He noticed your quick turn towards him, giving you a gentle smile before fully emerging through the small door frame, placing himself on the other side. Though, that smile faded rather quickly as he seemed to remember the reason why he’d come to find you. “Ah, I almost ran out of options as to where you could have been!” He said, a slight chuckle in his tone as he unintentionally tried to ease the rather tense atmosphere. You gave him a shrug, keeping your eyes keenly on the water, watching it swirl and hit the ship in waves. “See, I came to ask you how you’ve been feeling? You seem like you’re keeping something bottled up?” He continued to speak, guessing you had nothing to say to his first comment. Though, this one froze you. What could have you said? That he was the reason why you’d been upset this whole time? Blame Lucius and Pete for all of this? Or were you upset because of yourself. “Homesick, you know how it is.” You lied, trying to joke off the question. But your attempt had gone down the drain, only making Stede furrow his brows in concern. He knew you were lying, knowing you viewed the ship as your home. “Please, it’s not good to continue like this. Better to talk it out.” He insisted, making you bite your inner lip in return. Like you were holding back something you feared you might slip on accident.
Yet, that helped as much as rowing a boat without oars. “I fear the person I care for doesn't feel the same.” You sighed, ashamed of admitting to your feelings. Your gaze was tilted faintly upwards, eyes watching the water, too scared to look at Stede. A gentle hum came from his side. “Then why don’t you go ask?” The advice sounding like he was relieved it hadn’t been anything worse than that. But to you, this was as worse as it was ever going to get. Being stuck with feelings you didn’t know how to express. But even that feeling, the frustration was hard to show to him. Having to keep him in the shadow from how you felt. You shook your head, lowering your gaze. “I don’t know how.” A defeated sigh leaving you as your shoulder slumped down. If you were to guess, an empathic expression had appeared on Stede’s face. He stayed silent for a moment, before placing a hand on your shoulder. You almost pulled away, startled by the sudden touch. Yet there was something so comforting about it that it didn’t take you long to ease into it. “If you want to, I could offer you a few tips on confessing in the proper way?” The captain suggested, voice gentle as ever. He spoke with confidence, knowing that he could possibly help you. And you knew that, but that hadn’t been the reason for your reply. “Oh, I would appreciate that.” Even if he couldn’t help you, you could finally spend time with just him, as he talked to you about the subject of love, having no clue that he was that subject for you.
And after that conversation, you collected all of the courage in you as you prepared for the first meeting of the few you would continue to have with him. And with a deep breath, you pushed the door open that led to his quarters, finding the man himself seated on one of the couches. He got up to greet you, starting the ‘lesson’ soon after.
You sat in front of him, listening as he talked. “You didn’t tell me more about this person. What kind of confession would fit them? If it is a pirate, I’m not so sure a fancy confession is the thing you need.” He laughed the comment off faintly, a hint of doubt in his voice. “N-no! I’m sure- they’d love it.” You answered rather abruptly, thinking he might be rethinking this offer. “Well then…A confession is often considered a private matter. So you would find a place such as that to confess in. You would usually think the wording of the confession beforehand, polite and respectful.” The man started, his eyes looking up as he thought of how these tips could be used on a ship. As he paused speaking his thoughts out loud, he turned to you, as if waiting for you to have questions. But you didn’t, you looked at him keenly, waiting for him to continue. “Well- You could ask them out to eat before confessing. But I’m not so sure you could do that here, I’m afraid.” He said, tilting his head a little at the shame of that. “Thoughtful gestures are an alternative, perhaps a small gift or a letter?” He added after, clearly deep in thought as he tried to come up with something that was doable on a ship. “I’m not so gifted with my hands.” You muttered, thinking of the possibility of giving him a gift. After all, he was describing the way he had been taught to confess, so you wanted to follow those tips he gave you. “You don’t have to be, a confession on its own is good enough.” He smiled, shaking his head slightly.
You turned to look at your feet, silent as you thought of what he���d said. Though, the moment didn’t last long as Stede spoke up again. “How about we practise the tips I gave the next time we meet?” He asked, tilting his head slightly. You turned to look at him, blinking your eyes a couple of times. “On who?” He couldn't have possibly been suggesting that you-, “on me, if that is alright with you.” He said, a friendly smile on his face, per usual. You blinked again, faster this time. “I- Of course.” You nodded, internally stunned by the suggestion, having to shake your head slightly to bring you back into the moment. You would have to learn how to keep your cool, this was practically the same thing you’d have to say to him when you actually told him.
After that, he gave you a couple more tips, explaining the almost laughable mannerisms he had been taught or that he had read of. It amused you to watch him make fun of the things he had been taught into, giving you the slightest of ideas why he had chosen the life you’d had to live for most of your life. By the sound of it, you would have most likely done the same.
You went to the next meeting with him, this time more relaxed. He stood in the middle of his quarters. By the way he was breathing he must have just moved some of the furniture out of the way. “Evening.” You greeted him, looking around as you walked in. “Ah, just in time.” Stede smiled, nodding his head as a greeting when you came closer. “I thought tonight we’d try the advice in action, what do you say?” He asked after his initial comment, seeing as you hadn’t said anything. “Oh, of course. Yes. How do I start?” You asked, looking around as if exploring the cabin, a desperate attempt to hide sight of you being flustered. A light laugh left Stede before he replied. “If it’s okay, I thought I’d show an example first.” Your gaze snapped to him, soon after looking at your feet again to not seem odd. “Ah, of course.” You nodded, taking a small step back to give the man space.
Stede cleared his throat, taking something from the table near him and stepping towards you. “A private place.” He hinted at the space the two of you were in before going forward with the example. He brought his hand towards you, handing you a nicely folded piece of paper. You took it with a slightly shaky hand, trying to keep in mind that he was only giving you an example, having no idea of how you truly felt.
You weren’t sure what to say so you automatically opened the paper, eyes scanning over the words on it. You didn’t have to read often, so the skill hadn’t developed much, but if you read slowly enough you understood what the short letter said. A few compliments, subtly hinting at his yet hidden ‘feelings’. You looked up at him, lowering the letter. “I- Thank you?” You stuttered out, an awkward look appearing on your face as you realised how rusty it sounded in a situation like this. Stede only gave you a polite smile before offering you a hand. “Please, allow me to fetch us a place to sit.” He said, leading you to one of the couches. He allowed you to sit down first, taking a seat only after. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything to offer you. But let us use imagination.” The man in front of you explained, you gave him a nod while folding the piece of paper into your pocket. “When do you confess?” You asked, turning your gaze on him. “Well, we’d eat and maybe after or a little later you’d pull them aside to tell them.” He said, standing up and leading you to the middle of the room yet again.
You stood in front of him, listening as he spoke. “Dear, I hope you’ve had a pleasant evening. But before it ends, I wished to tell you my admiration for you. Because I do fancy you.” He spoke calmly, knowing exactly what to say. You bit your inner lip, nodding after. “Alright.” Stede put his hands together, pleased with how it was going so far. “Do you want to give it a try?” He asked, tilting his head. You blinked a couple of times, nodding your head before even giving it a proper thought. “Okay, whenever you’re ready.” He said, giving you space. You took a deep breath, deciding that this was going to be it. You’d confess to him, and somehow manage to make him realise that you were being serious.
You walked up to him, taking a moment before pulling the same letter he’d given you out of your pocket, handing it to him. He looked a little surprised, but still accepted the offer and looked over the letter quickly, as if he didn’t know what was in it. “Ah, thank you. Go on.” He smiled, looking back up. “It’s only the truth. I wished to show you how much I admire you, because I have had my eye on you. Stede, I fancy you.” You said, adding his name in as a desperate way to try and make this more obvious. But instead, he put his hands together, seemingly excited. “Ah, that’ll do it, almost swooned even me. I think you’re ready, go get em’!” He nodded firmly after, nothing but kindness in his eyes. Yet the longer you looked at him the more it seemed like he wasn’t so happy about what he’d just said. Like he hadn’t wanted to say it at all. You bit your inner lip for a moment, having to insist on making him understand. “I admire you, have for a long time.” You said, almost repeating yourself. Stede furrowed his brows, smiling at you a little awkwardly, now more confused than anything. “Wonderful practice. Now, go and get this lucky person!” He encouraged you. “Stede I’m-” You took a breath, not even sure what to say anymore. He hadn’t taught you what to do if the person you’re confessing to is the person teaching you how to confess.
By this point the man in front of you seemed worried, offering a hand out to you. “Are you feeling alright?” He asked, placing his hand on your shoulder. You looked at the floor before taking a hold of his wrist, gently. Your eyes looked into his, desperate to make him understand even if you couldn’t show it properly with words or small subtle actions. “I fancy you, Stede.” You said, and as soon as he was opening his mouth again, you quickly added in, “it’s you.” This made him close his mouth for a moment, soon a softer look appearing on his face. “I love you.” You mumbled out to avoid any tense silence from forming. “Dear, did you go through all this trouble to confess to me?” He smiled, seemingly relieved yet he said nothing of it. You gave him a slow nod, afraid this was only the starting point of him rejecting you. “Because I was afraid I was losing you from the moment you started disappearing to this moment right now.” He added, gently pulling you towards himself to offer a hug, which you accepted.
He felt warm, somehow he managed to also smell better than any other pirate you’d been close to. “I assumed you were leaving the crew and later realised I must have missed my opportunity with you.” He said, pulling back slightly, still close to you. You humoured the thought of him somehow sensing you didn’t want to go far from him at that moment. “You thought I was going to leave?” You asked, furrowing your brows, slightly amused. Though, you understood why he had thought that. He didn’t answer, only giving you a faint eye roll before placing a hand to the side of your neck, his thumb pushing your chin up slightly, making you look up at him. “I fancy you too.” He said, that being the only thing you’d ever wished to hear him say.
AN// Yall TRUST I proof read this, but with the mindset of someone who hasn’t slept. Also why is Stede so hard to find good images of, bros making a face in like 99% of all images >:(
#stede bonnet#stede bonnet x reader#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd x reader#our flag means death x reader#x reader#fanfic
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taking icy’s lead and sending you the playlist thing for rames!
hi hi hi!! so excited to do this~ i was obsessed with your jelisa post and your answers hehe. normally i try to keep my playlists centered around the time the story takes place but if i'm allowed to pick, my taste is a bit more modern-ish lol! i do my best to put the chapter titles as little soundtracks to go along with the story, but that doesn't always work out. most of the time they're just reflecting the chapter content with the title, not the lyrics
opening credits: l.a. baby (where dreams are made of) by the jonas brothers!
perhaps i'm cheating by picking a song that's already an opening credits song, but i think if their life was a TV show/movie this would be so perfect for them!
meeting for the first time: tracks of my tears by smokey robinson and the miracles
not because i think it reflects their situation but because i think roxy remembers this as the song she first heard him sing. their meeting isn't really anything miraculous + not love at first sight, but i think if they were a movie it would be cute if this was playing in the background when they first meet :)
hey, i kinda like you: crush by david archuleta
super super rames; playing on the radio when roxy decides to ask james out as like a little peek into what's running through her mind
i’m going to kiss you now: dig what you dug by wallows
:) love this song its sooo so so rames, but especially right after they kiss for the first time and james tells roxy he loves the way she says his name. that scene was inspired by this song in the first place!!
falling in love: jump than fall by taylor swift
self self-explanatory and chapter title stealing again...
your place or mine: last man in the world by the band camino
:)
naked in bed: hands down by dashboard confessional
my one mistake is using this to title a dak centered chapter... but it is also so very rames
first fight: that's what you get by paramore
cheating again and stealing chapter titles... but i mean come on! that's basically what happens lol
maybe we should take a break: my happy ending by avril lavigne
speaks for itself i think... especially because rox is pretty far gone for him at this point...
i want you back: iris by the goo goo dolls
I KNOW I KNOW but just imagine it's raining and james and roxy are in the street and they're apologizing to each other after their break because they realized it was such a bad idea and that they're better together and they love each other too much to see the other hurt and the instrumental part is playing in the background AHHH
will you marry me: songbird by oasis
not only is this their song (to me...) but everything about it is just so loving and tender and i think it fits this section perfectly. while i don't know if james and roxy are marriage people just yet, i think i could see this being something rox walks down the aisle to or perhaps their first dance song :)
first child: cecilia and the satellite by andrew mcmahon in the wilderness
like the last one, i'm not sure if james and roxy are parent material lol and i don't know many songs about children, but this is one of my favorites :) i think if anything james would be a super cute girl dad (as i think all boy band members would be) and i could imagine him writing/singing a similar type of song :)
we’re getting older: 18 by one direction/act my age by one direction
<3 we can forget they're 17 when they start dating okay <3
if you die i’ll go with you: i'll follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
if you've never heard this one you might want to grab some tissues. my hands are shaking as i write this.
end credits: the flower garden by joe hisaishi
im imagining the screen fading to black after their story ends while this plays and seeing the credits roll and GAH IM SUCH A MESS HELP!!!!!! (and now im imagining a howl's moving castle au so someone needs to take google docs far FAR AWAY FR OM ME but they fit those roles so well HELPPP)
#thats all she wrote fic#THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH THIS WAS SO FUN#what do you all think 👉👈#ash talks tasw#<- forgetting my own tagging system#partiallypearl
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i started a side blog for writing and i started writing on this acc (mainly headcannons and my thoughts but still) and i feel so pressured even though no one has asked me to write more i still feel like i have to or else everyone will hate me :( i know it’s just in my head. idk how you (or any other writer) do it i feel so exhausted everytime i think about writing. idk i just wanted to vent i hope that’s okay <3
mm yes it's still a problem for me !!! the pressure and expectations r a lot to handle but i just more or less ignore it most of the time. i'm usually passively writing drabbles so i have a backlog of things to post so im not constantly running myself ragged to get things posted last minute when i realize i haven't posted anything in a while LMAO i can just snag smthn from my lil google doc backlog and post that and go back to relaxing !!!! i think the key to not letting the pressure overwhelm you is to jus t find a system that works to take the pressure off !!!! <3 GOOD LUCK WITH WRITING FR and remember to just enjoy it !!!
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Anon from before, I can’t keep talking because I don’t have anything else to add expect maybe Striker got other things he cared about besides his family taken away from that terrible day too. I don’t know I don’t have any else to add sorry. 😫 Although I will ask, what do you think of the song “In My Sights”?
NOOO YOU’RE FINEEEE
It gave me like a bunch of ideas to think about and I will never turn down any Striker thoughts so thank you for that🫶
There’s already been some theories about Striker losing what would’ve been his bar based on all the cluttered stuff he has around his lair, so that’s something to think about, and it connects back to his line to Blitz in HMF about how not many imps start businesses on their own yk.
Part of my backstory for Striker that I hope to share properly soon but my anxiety hates me LMAO has to do with him losing his wife and daughter (this man is so girl-dad shaped i promise) alongside his family that day and that little idea has become an entire google doc and timeline😭 I’ve had a lot fun with it and I wanna share ittttt, especially his wife I made bc I absolutely adore her sm she’s one of my favorite OC’s I’ve made bc I designed her to be this direct contrast to Striker in like every where, even down to her name, and i just ughhhh I love her and I love them. I even have an entire fic of them already done too.
AS FOR IN MY SIGHTS WELL UH….
Spotify wrapped aboutta have my neck this year LMAOO
rt i can write an essay about how fucking good I think In My Sights is and how it absolutely captures EVERYTHING about Striker’s character and story thus far. Every time I listen to it (which is often clearly) I ALWAYS find something new to appreciate.
And omgggg Ed’s vocals make me meltttttt.
I’ve never really talked about Striker’s voice change on here before but I truly don’t mind it and I actually adjusted to Ed’s performance rather quickly. As iconic as Norman’s was, I just feel Ed fits Striker’s character a lot better and we’ve been able to see more sides of him through Ed’s performance. Ed is such a wonderful voice talent and it saddens me people don’t appreciate his Striker enough because they’re still stuck on Norman. There’s so much range in Ed’s performance and I rlly enjoy him a lot.
I was always begging to hear how Ed would sing for Striker once he took over the character bc Sweet Victory was Norman’s little song (this song is so stupid i love it so) and he ate that up so ofc I was like Ed needs to sing too duh. I already knew he could sing bc I was a Hunicast viewer and heard that man sing as Alastor. So I wondered if he could do the same given Striker’s country accent and lower tone.
SO WHEN I TELL YOU MY JAW DROPPED WHEN HE HIT THOSE HIGH NOTES AT THE END OF THE SONG😭
Thoroughly impressed fr.
Just a fun little song that gives insight (lol) on our cowboy that I can dissect like every lyric of even if it’s not canon.
Although now that we got shorts coming out…. In My Sights AMV when???? Jk that probably won’t happen but i can be a little delusional during the drought okay LMAOO
#hi anon i keep giving you essays I apologize#i’ve supressed so many striker thoughts from here#and now I’m getting it all out LMAOO#cowboy means a lot to me can you tell#helluva boss#helluva boss striker#striker helluva boss#in my sights#helluva boss in my sights
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Hii, I want to make if game but I'm kinda slow writer. Also I have never written so many words like other authors and it's a bit paralyzing. Do you have any advice how to deal with it?
anon i am so sorry this is 100% just rambling. the TLDR; my advice to you is this: comparison is the thief of joy. i know it's hard not to compare yourself to others, it's a super natural instinct for most of us, but seriously, as long as you're doing the best that you can, it doesn't matter how much or how little everyone else is doing. try changing your scenery! write in a different location! write using different materials! don't even bother with proper grammar and punctuation or whether things sound good or make sense for your rough draft. just write. Don't go back and fix things. and it might suck and you might just end up having to rewrite the entire thing in the end but at least now you know what not to do! and i am wishing you the absolute best in all your if writing endeavours <3
i'm fr just a guy so i'm so sorry if this advice is shit. i'm not a professional. idk if you came to me just because you saw the "slow writer" in the intro post and you saw a kindred spirit, but just in case you are not aware.... i am such a slow writer and i'll be so honest when i started tgp by far the longest thing i'd written was 11k words and it took like... 10 months to finish. usually the stuff i wrote was 500 words in Total and i was also the type of fanfic writer on wattpad who'd post three chapters and then never touch the book ever again
so, not a great foundation for a game that requires this level of commitment, and i knew that!! but i dunno i was so excited about the idea and the characters and i felt like i needed to share it with the world so i just went fuck it and started. when i first got that intro post up i had nothing but a handful of characters, a vague idea and a dream.......
basically what i'm trying to say is. I get it.
and my advice to you is: just do it LOL just write your if game!!!
it will be scary and impostor syndrome is SUCH A BITCH. you will encounter authors who will write like 100k words in the time it takes you to write 5k and THAT IS OKAY. I FEEL THIS EVERY DAY. BUT YOUR WORTH IS NOT BASED ON HOW MANY WORDS YOU CAN WRITE IN AN HOUR, SO TRY YOUR BEST NOT TO BE TOO HARSH ON YOURSELF. COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY. if your best one day is 15 words and they aren't even good words? that's fine. at least you're getting something down. you are doing the best you can in that moment, and that's what's most important!!!
ALSO WRITE WHAT YOU WANT TO WRITE. you cannot appeal to everyone. there will be people who simply will not enjoy your game and you know.. we ball anyway because there will also be people who LOVE YOUR GAME JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO, IF NOT MORE. i find that a lot of the time i'm stuck because i'm so worried about catering to my audience, and while it's okay to be conscious of these things, don't let it paralyze you. do not make your story about a bunch of bullshit you don't care about just because it's popular or something or you will just Never progress because you don't care about writing it. those days i shit out 1k (WHICH IS A LOT FOR ME IN ONE DAY) are because i'm like JUMPING OFF THE WALLS EXCITED ABOUT WHAT I'M WRITING ABOUT. WHO CARES IF WHAT YOU WANT TO WRITE ABOUT IS CRINGE (cringe culture is dead anyway) OR SUPER NICHE OR WON'T GET YOU A MILLION FOLLOWERS IMMEDIATELY. i mean don't get me wrong validation feels so good i'm a bit of an attention whore myself but also you deserve to create things that make you feel good, and this is what sustains a long-term project. You know? You feel me? You pickin up what i'm putting down? plus there will always be other people who vibe with your story, no matter how much you think you're the only one it appeals to.
but just in case you aren't just here for incoherent moral support, i would highly recommend straying away from plain old google docs or whatever it is that you usually use to write and trying new things! pen and paper??? pen and Cardboard box (this one works really well for me for my art block for some reason LMAO)??? write while sitting on the stairs instead of at your desk??? stimuwrite 2.0 (i cannot recommend this enough the bubble wrap sounds are sooo good)???
also. remember that rough drafts are just that: Rough Drafts. just write!!! maybe it'll turn out great, but maybe it'll be complete shit. maybe it'll make you want to throw up just reading it back. DON'T DELETE IT AND WORRY ABOUT HOW TO MAKE IT SOUND BETTER. I DONT CARE IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY USED THE WORD "JUST" 3 TIMES IN 1 SENTENCE. AS LONG AS YOU GOT THE MESSAGE ACROSS ENOUGH FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND IT YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.
ok sorry i am mildly sleep deprived at the time of writing this i'm so sorry if i literally just didn't answer any kf your questions at any point in here. i have no idea what i'm doing i just roll with the punches!!!!!!
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7, 22, 27, and 38 for the writing ask game, if you don't mind! :D
(ask game from here)
7. What is your deepest joy about writing?
best part about writing is i can just write the most self-indulgent shit ever and then i read it back later and i'm like hell yeah this is exactly what i'm looking for! i'm not kidding i frequently go back through all my documents rereading all the concepting i wrote like it's a little bedtime story. no one can scratch my brainworms better than me fr! ☝️😀
22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?
mm i'm fairly okay about the organization of my writing stuff. after i got my first laptop, all of my writing has been on computers and kept in my google drive. i'm actually considering making another account to transfer all my stuff over so my personal google acc has more space kasjdfkjsdj
i love making so many folders and color coding in there though. i'm planning on retitling all my fic document stuff in a certain way to make it easier to find them, but i don't know what way works for me yet. there a quite a few documents that are out of place because it's either there's not enough of the same-fandom documents to make a folder or i just don't know how i wanna organize it yet. reorganizing is a process i have not had a time for recently hehe
if you're talking about actual writing, i have a couple fics where i make a separate document for the outline i wrote and switch between the outline and the draft, e.g. my docs "[revalink] crystal snow draft" vs "[revalink] crystal snow outline". usually i do this because the way i wrote it in the outline conveys the exact emotion or image i want and use that as a reference while i write the draft. also it's just fun to see my own brain on display! otherwise i keep one huge document for each ship where i braindump my ideas onto, e.g. my doc "_revalink concept reservoir" and then just add headers/outline in the document. the revalink concept document is currently 80 pages long LMFAOKDJFDJK but it's a bit messy at the moment bc i've been copy pasting a lot of stuff in there
27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?
hmm of the fics i've properly finished and uploaded, i don't think i've ever actually been stressed writing a character KDFHKDJFD i've mostly written soft cute self-indulgent stuff so it's not too difficult to write them being soft.
i guess what i'll say instead is i actually had a difficult time in general writing the 'like crazy' fic. most of the premise and style of the fic was something i had a hard time conveying, particularly writing link's character in that first half. i try to get in the heads of my characters when i write and figure out what they would do and why they would do it based on what i know about their character. and it was just. really hard to write link in the self-indulgence of what the vibes/lyrical meaning of the song 'like crazy' was while also keeping him within the boundaries of the character i perceive him as.
if anyone else reading this has some time to spare, you can read 'like crazy' here or the link pinned on my blog! it was my revalink week d7 fic hehe 🤍
38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?
i wish i could tell you something outright insane or outlandish but i can't 😔 my writing process just consists of me laying in bed with my laptop and youtube on my switch hooked to the tv playing videos while i stare at a google doc for a couple minutes until the words come to me, rinse and repeat for as many days as needed until the fic is edited and finalized.
maybe the weirdest thing i've done while writing was either laying down on my side in bed like. semi-fetal position but arranging myself in a way where i could still type on my laptop, or when i got up to lay down and cuddle on the floor of my room with my dog for a little bit to take a break from writing. sorry for the boring answer 🙏
#ask#ask game#iridescentgleam#all i really do is rot in bed to be honest i need to get out of the house more often#other big joy about writing is when people comment on my work losing they fucking minds#i still think about shen's comment on my first revalink fic every day#i hope i can replicate that reaction again someday#the eepies and spoingles and bingos Like u were so real for that#i considered posting a pic of what my google drive looks but i felt like i was overdoing the question atp KDJFHDJHKF#i'm a little sad that 'like crazy' didn't get as much attention as i wanted it to since i worked so hard on it#but it's ok i love her and she's still a beloved child of mine 🤍#cats think we're big dumb goofy idiots but adore us anyway btw in case you wanted to know
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i was looking back on my tumblr drafts which is one of the many places where i write my fics and oh my gOD there is like a little of unfinished pieces that i probably will never touch so here you go have some and if u want the rest of any of these pieces just ask like idk but all of them aren't finished T T
hi taku thank you!! help relatable i have fic bits and pieces i still work on on like.. three apps atm which i really should clean up especially bc i keep forgetting if my notes or google doc version is the more recent one... but i’m also too lazy. anyway. i love these!! i mean i’d read more for all of these but i am especially interested in the kakucho one bc my life desperately needs more kakucho centric fics but sadly very much lacks them. so 👁 also dw abt the fact they’re unfinished there’s an unfinished genshin fic i love to death that hasn’t been updated since june 6th 2021 (don’t ask me why i know this by heart idfk either), and probably won’t ever be updated again, and i managed to survive that so 👍
also lemme comment on the fic bits
- the kakucho fic. first of all kakucho pov that already makes it good thank you. and then ughh. his childhood friend takemichi. izana. his nothing. his everything. T-T
- the bonten restaurant fic just makes me happy bc i think they are happier in this au.... also takemichi being a silly little guy like he should be
- dear saviour, leave me is a bANGER TITLE okay also also it’s pretty sweet rn but i am suspicious 🤨🤨 i can smell the angst. you cannot fool me. no but atm it’s pretty soft which is the balance i needed so thank you. mikey is so cute fr, and draken is lovely istg
- T-T. yeah that’s all i can rlly say about the last one. T-T. /pos
#.....this reminded me that i have a kakucho centric fic wip that i wanna work on#also i think i wrote myself into a writing block. ahahaha.#i’m doing my best i promise but the words just don’t wanna word the way i want them to atm idfk.unless i am rEALLY hyperfixated on writing+#a fic which i’m not atm... but there are so many thoughts and feelings in me... grrr i hate thi#ps ps ps give me more of your fic wips 👁#(or wohle fics)#taku’s fics#☆—`ask
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Not that yuh asked, but I have a confession.
My Inscryption fics have gone to waste.
And I have fallen head over heels down the basement stairs straight into the earths core in love with the concept of FNAF SB. Similar to BATIM, I like the concept far more than the game itself.
Okay, that's not to say all my concepts and ideas are good- most read as self indulgent more than anything.
But I can't help but feel I am committing genocide by letting these ideas rest and wither away as a delusion some cracked dumbass made in a fandom-crazed haze.
Maybe it's lazy of me to wanna pawn off ideas n see someone else develop it better. Maybe it's irrational to feel possessive over ideas that likely aren't original and toe the line between cool and cringe.
All that to say Roommates.exe probably isn't coming back. Yeah. I'm genuinely sorry bout that, but hey, I can supply the google doc that birthed it? I get a kick in the face of dopamine when I mull over the ideas sometimes. Like that Royal x Prospector short-story I planned and never followed through on- or the other idea that's just the ghouls playing prop hunt in leshy's cabin. I wish I'd written more on the personality swap au really, though that idea spawned after I fell into the dca recycling bin.
Hhhhhh hot fuckin damn why are there so few reader x DJMM fics out there y'all are snoozing tf- i mean what
I should stop using chatgpt as a life coach fr fr it dont deserve this--
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writing asks: 4, 5, 8, 12, 17 :D
SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER MY BAD LOL :') 4. Q: a story idea you haven’t written yet A: BESTIE. YOU KNOW I HAVE A MILLION WIPS. (mild Book of Bill spoilers) Okay BUT one I've been jingling in my head recently is a oneshot about Pacifica dealing with the trauma of her horrible Bill nightmare because it made me insane forever. It is so!!! horrifying!!! and intriguing!!!! I love this idea of her avoiding wearing red gloves and red outfits because it keeps reminding her of the blood staining her hands, thick and warm and raw. And the note about her feeling comforted by the fact that she has Mabel and Dipper's contacts!!! SOBBING!!!! Imagine a scene where she has another nightmare and the only thing that can calm her down is hearing Mabel and Dipper's voice on the other line WAAAAAAAAAAAGH IM INSANE!!!! AND the fact that the twins Understand all of this. They Know how horrible it all is. They're all just kids trying to navigate their way through this trauma. And realizing that it's so much easier to deal with them together. I'm going to combust. Another wip for funsies (and that u don't know abt ;3 ) is one I'll be doing for Honkai Star Rail! I fell in love with the main trio (Stelle, March 7th, and Dan Heng) since the game came out and I've been itching to write a oneshot of them being silly! Mayhaps a bit of hurt/comfort as wellllll???? Anyways I love gay people <3 5. Q: first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP A: OHOHOHOHOHO time to pull out the archives!!!! "As they opened the front doors, Miko was suddenly struck by how tired she felt. She didn’t get tired often, especially when her job was fueled by adrenaline every day and every hour. But right now she’d love a nap. Or a coma. Maybe even a nap and then a coma. Sounds festive." This is from the 4th paragraph BUT ITS FINE BC ITS FUNNY From my Miko Forget-Me-Not au which is IN THE WORKS!!! WILL BE PUBLISHED!!!! EVENTUALLY!!!! ONE DAY!!!!! Also LOVE writing Miko so much,,,, she's JUST like me fr
8. Q: if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for… A: OOOOOOOOO great question! I've had a lot of ideas for sequels over the years and some that are wips but I think the one I'm most dead set on is doing a threequel to my Coming Home. series! I've been meaning to do it for ages and I just haven't had the motivation to but one day!! I really want to complete it with a short chapter from Domino 2 and 3's unique povs about Anne near the end of the show I just,,,, need,,,,, to drag myself to start the fic,,,,,,,,,
12. Q: a trope you’re really into right now A: Oh man SO MANY but I think right now,,,,, big emotional outbursts? I'm always a big fan of characters who just stuff so much of their emotions into a jar and eventually letting it all out in a huge impactful moment (NOT PROJECTING AT ALL HAHAHA) and changes their relationship with the people around them forever because of that. MWAH!!! CHEF'S KISS!!! I just adore big emotional moments in general (its literally 90% of what I write lmao) and maybe a big part of that is bc I have ADHD and feel many things in very extreme ways and seeing characters feel the same way I do is comforting haha
17. Q: talk about your writing and editing process A: Oh boy it sure is a Process Okay so generally I get the idea kicked into my face after listening to a certain song, watching a certain scene, or looking at fanart. It's rare that I don't have ideas for fanfics bc I just have them jumbling around in my head all the time. I usually record down any major ideas I have in my google docs or notes app, (sometimes write down a specific line or scene that is super vivid in my mind) and then when I'm hyperfixating on a certain show/character/idea I can always go back to it and add to it! I also browse through my ideas and wips whenever I feel like making something creative but don't know what project specifically. I also listen to lots of music when developing an idea since it helps for inspiration!!! When the stars align and I have the right motivation and energy for a project I usually will latch onto it until it's finished or until I get a considerate amount of it done. I'm usually Crazy Glued to the project for HOURS and it's almost impossible for me to stop lol After that, I usually take a break from the project (sometimes a few hours, sometimes a whole day) and come back to it later to reread it and see what I want to change or add. My editing process is not usually very intensive or long since I get tired of it quickly but sometimes what I'll do is revise it once then come back to it a few weeks or months later with a clear mind and see what I want to change. And the good thing is that by then my writing skills will have improved so the later passes look much better. Also I usually send them to you so that I can tell they're coherent and I'm not going crazy LOL My editing process can also be much shorter and sometimes if I'm really happy with what I wrote or want to post it immediately, I'll just revise it once or twice right after I finish the fic. That's how it turned out with And I try my best, to prove that nothing's out to get you. which was nice!!! Especially since it was more of a quick writing practice. I also find that sometimes I just need to let the text be and not overedit it where it looses the original impact and tone I was going for.
PHEWWW YAY THANK U FOR ASKING AGAIN!!!! this was fun :D
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hi daily friendly reminder that arian @callmetheidiot is literally insane and amazing who is with me!! all of you cheered. as you should.
also i promised to bring back the elmax week outline because literally no one asked <3 i am a woman of many talents and sharing is the main one !
you're the cure (you're the curse) spoilers below the cut btw!
"So el finds out about the book and she is all trying to get max to give her info and max is like idk i guess im just built different and el is like be so fr
She DOES find out (already knows?? how would she know?? go away) about the hanahaki and is heartbroken etc etc but max wont tell her that its el that shes in love with (el watches romance movies regularly in this so max should be soo nervous bc im putting so many tropes in this. but its okay bc el is sad and gay which negates sleuthing in personal relationships as demonstrated by the 2016 netflix original series stranger things)
Lucas calls max n they have a heart to heart
It makes max feel brave and loved enough to call el with the intent to confess and then say that she's gonna try and get surgery so el wont have to worry anymore
But els at a party n girlie is wasted so max goes over to pick her up and on the way back el drunken.ly comes out and max is just. Fuckign floored.
El calls over to maxs dorm and kisses her when max opens the door
pain fucks off happy ever after"
--copy and pasted from my google doc
yeah i talk to myself in my outlines and i think thats very cool of me. also i changed the kiss part while writing it bc im so silly <3
anyway u said tag urself and i took u literally i am "i guess im just built different" and also "be so fr"
anyway if youre reading this and u made it this far thank you so much :) but also im so sorry u had to sit through that lolll! ty arian for the amazing comment (iam Dead <3)
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