#okay 1 year and 1 month-ish
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we're gonna put our rats up for adoption at the animal rescue. things are. bad. we can't keep their cage clean. grayson gets exhausted taking them out to play and i rarely join bc i just feel empty or disgusted or i start sobbing or wind up in pain or exhausted myself. so they don't get the amount of human interaction they deserve/need.
i feel awful about it. i feel sick. i don't know the last time i've felt like such an abject failure. not just as a person responsible for small lives but as a partner. grayson gets such joy from these boys, and they are so sweet to us too. i just. i can't even take care of myself. it isn't fair. it's not fair.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#the wild brunch#matty's mental health#i'm genuinely not okay. about any of this. about anything happening.#but the rats specifically are a real no-win scenario.#either 1) we pull the bandaid off & give them to the rescue. a clean (ish) break#we know they'll be fostered & adopted by ppl who will not just love them but will actually be able to take care of them#and they'll live out the rest of their lives with other rats who they'll get to know now while they're still middle-aged. & other people.#or 2) we keep them but continue the current plan to have them be our last batch of rats. they live in a habitat that we can't keep clean.#we're both wracked with guilt about this all the time. we keep exhausting ourselves doing what we can to keep things out of crisis mode#grayson gets to keep playing with them. i get to keep being miserable and More guilty every time i *don't* play with them#or just plain miserable every time i do#eventually they get older and their health goes downhill. one of them dies. i have a mental breakdown just like every other time#we rehome the other two. it's harder bc they're older and sicker and they miss their brother.#but they live out the (much less) rest of their lives with other rats. & other people.#in both scenarios we stop having rats. grayson is devastated either soon or later bc no more pets#while i'm wracked with guilt bc i feel very very very responsible for us not having rats anymore. and also devastated#bc i am. well. goodbyes are very bad for me.#which is why i feel responsible lmao bc last year i had like 4 straight months of ceaseless sobbing from all the back to back pet deaths#and i was like Listen. grayson. i can't do this anymore. i just can't. i can't keep having short-lived pets like this bc each death#feels like i'm being stabbed in the lungs over and over.#i guess technically option 3 is we keep having rats. we get another batch & introduce them. no rat off-ramp.#i just. keep getting stabbed in the lungs as they die. and we keep not being able to take care of them properly.#hey i didn't say it was a *good* option. but it is an option#pet death cw#idk how to tag the lungs metaphor.#injury cw#?
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Looking back I think one of the biggest things that got me through uni was that Canvas had calendars that showed when assignments were due and actually let me plan out what tf I was going to do without feeling overwhelmed.
Well... that and being a tutor/TA/lab assistant letting me work on homework during my shifts. Those two things really pushed uni from being agonizing to doable.
#honestly getting through uni in 4 years with 0 loans on unmedicated adhd is a fucking god damn miracle#i was even able to do extra curriculars senior year AND art#god i miss that#also i didnt have chronic anxiety then but i also didnt have chronic anxiety 2 months ago so its not unique#honestly looking back at 1:45 am is a gentle reminder that for all the hardwork and dedication i have#i'm also VISCERALLY lucky. physically abled. financially stable. debt free. decent–ish degree (even though the industry shat itself)#cishet white guy with a support network who even while unemployed for an entire year#was still able to survive comfortably in spite of hardship.#it does make me frustrated just how badly ive stagnated because of it.#but also fully aware that i can very very easily bounce back#hell. after a year with 1k+ of debt on my credit card that shit is evaporating since ive gotten a flexible job that pays by productivity#rather than by the hour while working from home.#like... this is can easily constitute as bragging and tbh it is.#this past month has been a fucking ringer that im just taking it all in.#i'm lucky. i'm okay.#anyways heres to hoping the psychiatrist can fucking put down this OCD bug in my brain then ill be golden.#im tired of my thoughts being interrupted by pointless bullshit that shouldnt bother me but 100% does.#and maybe adhd meds along the way.#god had to take my attention span to make it fair for all of you.#thats a joke but its also not.
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ever since my cousin told me he scheduled off work so we can hang out on halloween i've been thinking about it nearly non stop because i love him and also i haven't hung out w somebody that wasnt my brother, or the girl me and ace are friends with here, in . uhhh. a long time
i'm so excited
#the only time this year i hung out w a friend that wasnt ace or our friend at the motel irl was when my cousin visited in april ish#i have been talking to nobody and no one because i am so checked out mentally and on autopilot and sleeping so much and it feels like im#so hollow inside and floating thru the days not there and like im just rotting and every day for months i've been laying in bed#living in a motel fucking sucks. <- feels like i'll be punished for saying that because at least we have a roof over our head and at least#we have food 1/2 - 2/3rds of the month and at least i have my medication and my faith and my family#like im very grateful for all of that. and sometimes i cry and beg internally for others to see me and treat me as a human being#please give me respect and compassion. please just dont callously look away. please. please#okay ive spiraled enough.#text
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Aqua fact time did you know dgr was a sp/in of mine for years and I had like a kajillion ocs for it. In general, media with aspects of killing games tends to pique my interest more than other things and I enjoy reading about it even if I don't have the guts to handle actual gore or other things associated with that. (mentioning this for media such as sa.w, nyat so much for dgr since. it's. animated. pepto bismol ass blood. etc etc)
#➳ the fool speaks#I'm a sa.w fan in spirit but nyat actually in any shape or form I'd probably get legitimately traumatized watching any of the movies dude#but rereading the tv tropes pages over and over and over and looking @ posts about it was my OBSESSION for 1-2 months ish last year#i blame my massive interest in aln.st partially on the death game aspect of it (although because it mainly focuses on the character#relationships and the music that's. well. obviously a bigger factor. y'know)#hell i even watched a review of one of those. really gratuitous horror novels. and i mean did it make me paranoid Yes was it also really#intriguing Yes did i manage to un-paranoia myself by imagining my fictional fiance protecting me Also Yes Why Did You Ask That#That's An Oddly Specific Question But Okay#i think that's very silly of me btw. and mature. like maybe it seems childish but fighting a fictional threat w a fictional protection who#i love dearly was actually a good idea on my end. and hey. it worked. wahoo !#anyways i ♡ death game media actually. i can't watch/read like 99% of it but I'm a fan of those in spirit ♡♡♡
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Woo end of Halloween 🎉
I am rambling ignore my tags
#not all my tricks and treats got passed out but thats okay lol#they can be saved for next year#i really liked some of them#i had like 5 out of 9 out there and thats way more than i thought was gonna happen lol#all of them were catered to friends only but 1 got passed which is so cool#thats like 11+ things i made this month ish!#theres still 4 more but hey maybe next year 👍 wasnt a requirement anyway lol#pretty happy with how it ended up anyway#flame rambles#delete later
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A couple years ago when I was looking for a place to live, I was offered this place for $300 a month (Very, very small 1 bed, 1 bath, plumbing and electric hardly worked, no AC or heating, house was moldy and falling apart, ect) and I was desperate but what really made me consider it was that when the landlord opened the front door, there was like 4 cats just sitting in the living room
Guy apologized and explained that there were a lot of stray cats in the area, they can get inside the house through the walls and kinda made it their place to stay (they were friendly) and explained that if i lived here then I'd have to be okay with cats coming in and out
Which, normally is something other folks would be concerned about, but I could not tell this guy that the house coming with the 'pest' problem of like 13-ish cats was a bonus for me
I didn't end up staying there because of the health hazards but sometimes I think about those cats and driving back over there to see if I can catch them and hit em with the indoor-neutered-vaccinated wombo combo.
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marry me (s.s.)
Plot | The 3 times Sebastian thought about marrying you and the 1 time he asked.
Tags | miscommunication, mentions of murder and poisonings, fluff, implied smut, dangerous idiots in love, fluff, 6k-ish words
A/N: sorry this took so long i went on a vacation! One of the funniest line about Ominis locking the two of them up was written by @/shinzhon in our discord server!
Series Masterlist - the rest of the chapters here
“Seriously Sebastian, how many times has it been this month?”
“It’s not my fault this time, I swear!”
“So, you slipped and somehow ended up in the Restricted Section? Is there some secret passage I hadn’t known about? Care to share to the class?” Ominis pinned him with a look and despite knowing his friend was blind Sebastian still raised his hands in surrender. Ominis sighed, there was no point really. When he had agreed to be friends with the troublesome boy in their first year he had signed up for this. It’s his fault for not seeing the mischievousness in those innocent brown eyes.
“I’m surprised,” Ominis continued as he started the trek back to their common room, the painful small talks he had with the headmaster in order to prevent anything getting sent to Solomon already fading as he got further away from the office. He could only imagine the absolute hell the old man would’ve sent their way if he had heard of his rendezvous in the Restricted Section. “It just isn’t like you.”
Sebastian scoffed, “To be in the Restricted Section? Where have you been the past year?”
“No, you idiot,” he hissed. “It isn’t like you to be caught.”
The falter in Sebastian’s steps had him raising an eyebrow, neck snapping back in accusation. “I’ve been caught once,” Sebastian reminded him quickly of the time Scribner first put the anti-Alohamora charm in the doors of the Restricted Section.
"I'm not finished," He’s hiding something. “It isn’t like you to be caught twice.”
He stopped on his track at the sound of Sebastian’s wince. “Okay, don’t be mad ��”
“Oh no.”
“The new fifth-year needed some help to get in the restricted section because – well, I actually can’t tell you, she made me swear – and it’s bigger than the both of us and it was going so well! But Peeves caught just as we were about to –”
“Honestly, Sebastian, enough!”
He didn’t need to hear any of this.
Sebastian was right. Whatever great big mess that new kid was in the middle of was bigger than the both of them. And he has had more than enough on his plate trying to keep his friend out of trouble without the additional presence of another mysterious adrenaline junkie being thrown in the mix – one who was worryingly a magnet for big trouble. It was no wonder Sebastian was transfixed; he was looking at the damn mirror.
“Whatever fascination you have with that girl ends now,” It doesn’t escape him how much he sounded like a father getting in-between two lovers. He would’ve laughed in incredulity at the current situation he had found himself in if he wasn’t so bloody frustrated. “You get in enough trouble on your own, she doesn’t need to be sucking you up in her own problems.”
Sebastian makes a sound that doesn’t sound like a ‘yes, Ominis’ and the blond’s blood vessels nearly pop. He cannot believe this.
“Come on, it wasn’t like that. Honestly, she was brilliant! You should’ve been there; she took to the Disillusionment spell so quick that if we hadn’t let out guard down, we –”
“Oh, Merlin’s Beard, why don’t you marry the damn girl and the both of you leave me out of your tomfooleries!”
That would be ideal, he thinks. In a perfect world, he’s going to lock the two of them in a room and eat the key. There he would have no daily nuisances, won’t have to worry about sneaky Slytherins and the explosion of troubles they bring with them, and won’t need to suffer through Headmaster Black’s presence to get them out of it. A thankless job that brought nothing but headaches.
It was only when he was out of his blissful reverie that he realized his headache had stopped walking behind him seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
No.
“Sebastian … “
The other boy audibly flinched, his breath now irregular, and Ominis will bet all the galleons in the Gaunt’s vault that if he could see his old friend’s face would be as red as a Gryffindor’s arse right now.
He could almost cry, his palms producing embarrassing cold sweats at the absolute worst-case scenario unfolding in front of his unseeing eyes. “Please – I am begging you – not this one.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Oh no, no, no.
Suddenly, the prospect of Sebastian and this troublemaker getting together was not that idyllic. In quick successions, all possible worst-case scenario popped in Ominis head. Sebastian was bad enough, if he had someone who was equally as reckless and rash as him it would be something out of his worst nightmare.
Ominis is a good person. This can’t be happening to him.
“Sebastian, listen to me –”
With only a breeze as his answer Sebastian skipped right past Ominis and up the grand staircase. Ominis could feel the heat of his face. “No time to talk. Got somewhere to be –”
“Sebastian, no!”
Why must it keep happening to him?
Sebastian was pretty sure the house in Feldcroft has not heard Anne’s laughter in a long, long time. Yet, here you were, huddled together with his sister, whispering giggle-worthy stories about him no doubt by the way your gaze kept fluttering back to him, and lifting the dreadful ooze that has monopolized the small space since his sister’s illness.
“Nice girl,” He had nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized his uncle had been sitting on the spare bed hidden by a curtain.
“Y-Yeah,” Merlin’s beard you even got his unpleasant uncle’s favor in such a short time – a miracle worker, truly. “She’s … quite something.”
Talking to him has always been awkward.
Even before Anne had gotten sick, he found it difficult to converse with the man who looked too much but was simultaneously nothing like his gentle, kind father. And maybe it was also the childish insistence that if he had let the man into his heart, he would betray his parents – his father – that he just couldn’t let him in. It would feel too much like replacing him so he just opted in letting Solomon linger at the precipice of his life and the man was more than happy to do so.
After all, if Solomon was nothing like his father, Sebastian was everything that reminded Solomon of his dead brother. And those were holes none of them could fill for each other.
“You know, your mother was the same,” Sebastian’s eyebrows raised, never hearing Solomon talk about her till now. “When she was a 7th year I was just starting in Hogwarts and let me tell you, I had little hope for that brother of mine of ever getting her attention.”
His uncle continued to stare at you like he was seeing a ghost – the good kind – not the kind he sees when he looks at him. “She was brilliant, loved by even the firmest professors. And was always willing to hold out a helping hand, even to lost first years whose ass of a brother left to go fend for himself in the confusing moving stairs of Hogwarts.”
Even Sebastian let out a chuckle at that ridiculous image. Sometimes he forgets that even his old uncle had once been a child. The thought is uncomfortable, especially looking at the man he is now. “I always told him he was out of his mind for courting your mother but did my crazy brother listen? Absolutely not.”
Where was he going with this?
Sebastian returned his eyes back to you.
Brilliant, admirable, courageous you.
With your bright smile that feeds his ego by always shining brighter with him. The recklessness that never fails to infuriate and impress on his last nerves. The kindness you innately had in you that makes him want to wrap you up in the finest silk then lock you up in an impenetrable room so nobody else may ever touch it – so nobody else may have you.
That would be best, he thinks.
“It would seem even that insanity he had passed on to you.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened, forcing himself to take slow, deep breaths so all his blood doesn’t go to his face, unable to look at the older man. “It’s not like that,” he cleared his throat, now unable to look at you. “We’re … friends.”
“A good … companionship is built upon friendship,” Sebastian’s head whipped to this uncle as if to say ‘how would you know?’ but his uncle just grunted, shrugging before standing up to busy himself in the kitchen, calling you out to assist and telling Anne to take her medicine.
A good companionship. He knows it’s a bit too early but the thought of it wasn’t as horrifying as he thought it would be. The budding interest he had in his new friend was pushed and shoved into the deepest nook of his brain – he had more pressing things to tend to, one that was more important than discerning why he could recognize the sound of her laughter in the middle of dinner in the Great Hall.
But if he really thinks about it, takes a moment to breathe and considers it … it would be nice. She’s had research interest but with her grades and skill being a renowned curse-breaker or even an auror isn’t out of the question. If he works hard, he knows he’d be able to keep up and support her and Anne – maybe even set up an apartment in the city, they can just visit his sister when they have the chance.
Of course,he will try to encourage her to settle back down in Feldcroft if Anne still lives here but Irondale is quite beautiful too, a good place to practice flying when they have a family, let his children experience a true childhood surrounded by peace and quiet – two kids would be nice. Twins run in the family so maybe he could convince her for another one if their first pair are of the same gender. He would really like a daughter who looks just like --
“I like her.”
“Bloody hell!” Sebastian jumped when he realized his twin sister was now right in front of him while he was deep in his embarrassing delusions. (When did the members of his family become so sneaky?) She grinned at him as if she knew exactly what had him so distracted. To avoid her piercing stare, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he guided her in the little nook of her bedroom where all the vials full of her medicines were stored.
“I knew you would. ‘s why I brought her here.”
“Oh?” Anne nonchalantly drank a disgusting-looking fluid in one gulp. “So, it wasn’t cause you wanted to monopolize her and get ahead of your competition back at Hogwarts?”
Sebastian gawked, his entire body heating up from the accusation. “What – no, it’s not – I thought she would cheer you up!”
He quickly took a quick peek at the corner, relieved that you were too busy charming his uncle off to hear such absurd allegations against him. He wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression of him at all. After all, for how wondrous those visions are, he puts your friendship on a pedestal above anything else.
He thinks he’ll be more than content to be just your friend. Maybe.
“How gracious of you, brother,” Anne smirked, in this light it was almost like the old Anne.
Sebastian smirked at her, masking indifference, “I try.”
He should’ve known. Anne would be the one who might just see through all of him, even the things he likes to keep from his head. Even his most impossible dreams of cozy cottages and soft days.
“Sebastian!” The twins straightened up at your voice, both felt like they had been caught red-handed as you cheerfully rounded the corner. “Oh, was I interrupting –”
“No, not at all!” Anne pushed Sebastian firmly, making him stumble and catch himself just as he was about to crash into you. The proximity forces him to stare as your eyes crinkled when you smiled. He stops breathing.
You’ll look dazzling in white; he thinks.
“Your uncle told me your neighbor had some mint in their garden, said you could help me find it? It would go well with the juice.”
Sebastian’s eyes fell to your lips as you spoke before physically ripping his eyes out to look at your eyes, nodding, as his brain tried to keep up between his imagination and the reality of your face in front of his. You grinned, already walking towards the door. He lets out a breath, the faint traces of your perfume that he gave you wafting an enchanting trail that kept his gaze on your retreating back.
“Get on with it,” Anne pushed him again and this time he gave her his deadliest glare as he followed after you. “You can’t hide her in Feldcroft forever.”
“Zip it.”
Solomon stood next to Anne as they stared at the two sweethearts in their own worlds as they made an adventure out of the small trip. Anne couldn’t help but giggle when Sebastian tripped because he was too busy looking at you instead of the road.
“Are men always this stubborn and stupid?”
“No,” Solomon grumbled, heart aching fondly when in a blink he could almost see a different mirage of figures that were both familiar and strangers at the same time. “He’s just his father’s son.”
“It’s over.”
Sebastian turned his head, straying his eyes away from the night sky framed by the room’s glass ceiling to look at you. “It’s over.”
The two of you lay down on the floor of the room of requirement, sneaking away from the graduation party to spend the last moments of your life as a student in Hogwarts together. It wasn’t intentional, you had sneaked out for a proper goodbye to the sentient room and thanked it for everything it had provided for you but, like always, Sebastian had gotten ahold of your sneaking form before you could take two steps away from his side.
Sebastian can see that the inevitability of it all is making you emotional, a Hogwarts-shaped hole already forming in the crevices of your heart. The thought of no longer having this haven to escape the world's cruel realities makes him sigh.
“I’m terrified,” your whispered confession surprised him.
His gallant darling? Scared?
“What for?”
You smiled at him sheepishly. “It feels stupid but … I’m scared of things changing. I feel like that little girl again – 15 years old and alone in this great, big world I was thrust into.” Sebastian noticed a shudder crawl over your body. “And this time I won’t have a cheeky Slytherin lad to show me around.”
Sebastian frowned, unsure if he was more disappointed at you for thinking you would lose him that easily or at himself for not nailing that the two of you were tethered forevermore in that bright head of yours.
Instead, he took your shaking hands that you tried to hide and held on to it tight.
You smiled up at him. “Promise to stay in touch?”
He could almost scoff at such an understatement of a request. Do you know I’m never letting you go?
“You’re not getting away from me that easily,” he grinned, hoping to charm the rest of your remnant fears away. “I expect weekly letters while I’m away from training.”
You scrunched your nose, which he thinks is just adorable “What? So you can brag to your fellow trainees you have a lovesick lady waiting for you at home?”
He laughed at that, eyes crinkling and heart racing, “Maybe I should keep a photo of you plastered on my wall then, really commit to the part. A pretty face like you on my walls should make me the envy of my entire group.”
Her laugh came out nervous, her grip on his hands tightened. She’s still scared.
If only he had been sorted in Gryffindor maybe then he would’ve been daring enough to say something. To fall to his knees in this room and let his forehead kiss the ground and beg you to stay with him, run away with him, marry him. To let him spend the rest of his lowly life making sure you will never be lonely again.
But the fates were cruel and for all his pretense of confidence, the gods’ honest truth is he is a coward. A coward with no prospects.
If he wants your hand he needs to prepare, to follow the plan he had mapped out since the night he had realized he would very much like to spend the rest of his life with you or die trying. He might not be worth anything for now but he’ll make himself enough. He just needs to hold on … just two more years – it’s all he asks.
Just two years for him to establish himself, to become someone, to earn the right to ask you. He knows it will be hard, you’ll be engrossed in your own research and won’t be able to see him as he trains to be an auror. And there was always a risk of you meeting someone else but he’s already made Poppy swear to report everything to him while she accompanies you in your travels, a contingency plan for any hurdle that may put a wrench in his plans.
If all of this fails then so be it, but he won’t lose you from a lack of planning or trying.
“Why are you looking at me like that?
He didn’t realize he was staring at you while his thoughts ran wild. The dark of your eyes reflected the ceilings you had charmed with the sky of the Forbidden Forest. The dim hue of the room made you look ethereal, like a forest fairy sent to lead him to a beautiful doom. He’d follow you anywhere.
Is it too soon to tell you I love you?
Is it too late?
“Have I ever told you that you’re the only one I need?” Sebastian suddenly whispered, vulnerable.
It’s the closest thing he’ll allow himself to say for now, placating the intensity of his need to be close to you by properly laying on his side and pressing a firm hand on your cheeks as you followed his lead, your own loosely dangling on his waist.
“Don’t you think Ominis will be quite offended by that?” you teased, your fingers tracing patterns on his spine.
He couldn’t help but match your grin, “He’ll live.”
“Sebastian,” your words quiet but he moved his hand at the back of your head to pull you in closer, muffling your following words on his chest. “Promise me nothing will change?”
Sebastian’s hold on you tensed, pressing the gentlest kiss at the top of your head to silence his protests.
No, he wants to scream. Everything has to change.
He’ll change everything for you.
“I promise,” he lies.
He’s no Gryffindor, after all.
[ 5 years later ]
“I almost fucking killed you!”
You rolled your eyes, which was a bad idea considering the curse that malfunctioned in Gringott’s brought upon a gaggle of Inferis along with a mutated one that grew about ten feet tall. Before it could lunge straight at your head, Sebastian – Merlin’s beard, he was still as handsome as the day you had left Hogwarts – pulled you into him before casting a Protego followed by a Confringo, blasting the undead’s arm away.
Still his favorite after all these years.
“What? You become a bigshot Auror and forget my face?!”
With an Incendio, the rest of the Inferis were now weakened enough that Sebastian was able to finish them all in one go (bloody hell!). Giving you time to gather yourself and lash out a heavy burst of ancient magic to take care of the giant Inferi once and for all.
You wobbled from the effort but firm hands and a chest caught you. When you looked up you were greeted by a cantankerous Sebastian covered in dust and dirt.
“As if I could see your face in those ridiculous glasses you’re wearing. Is that a lizard’s eye?”
You pulled on the offending thing, turning and standing on your tiptoes to put it on him, then he could see that it helps with seeing the traps laid out around the vault. “Satisfied your inquiries, Mr. Auror?”
He pushed the glasses to the top of his head, still looking down at you with a suspicious glare. Damn him and damn the entire male race for their inability to stop growing their limbs. “I should have you arrested. Illegally breaking into Gringots? What were you thinking?”
“Please, any curse-breaker you sent this way would’ve been eaten by that curse, I barely got out with my life if not for my ancient magic.”
Sebastian’s eyebrows twitched in the familiar way when he wasn’t particularly fond of you – which usually only happens when you throw yourself in danger … like today. Old habits die hard.
“I –”
“Save it,” he raised a palm. You sucked your lips into a thin line comically – it has been half a decade since you last saw him after all, you’re not entirely quite sure If this Sebastian in front of you would hesitate in throwing his prodigal best friend into the cold stone walls of a ministry ordained prison. “You owe me.”
Before he could, you fired off a blast of ancient magic behind him, crushing the lone Inferi that was bidding its time under a rock. You smirked. “Are we even now?”
“Not even fucking close,” His face was blank, unamused. Sebastian’s patience has never been the longest but this is one of the few times his ire was aimed at you, the novelty of it would make you blush if you weren’t so guilty. “Where have you been?”
This time it was your smile that fell, eyes dropping with it in shame. Straight to it, huh.
“Sebastian … I left a lett –“
“A letter! You call that a letter?!” He guffawed, turning his back on you and started pacing just at the ledge that led to a very, very, long fall to the bottom of Gringotts. Your fingers twitched to reach out for him but you had a feeling he wasn’t particularly interested in getting mothered right now as he spiraled out the words you’re sure he had surely been holding the past years. “My dearest friend, one who fights trolls for practice and is the most wanted woman of all dark wizards in the country disappears without a trace even when I spent an entire year searching for her –”
He looked for you?
“—but oh no! All is well Sebastian, she left you a bloody note!”
You felt like a reprimanded toddler but maybe (just maybe) you deserved it. “It wasn’t my finest moment.”
Something in your words snapped the last of Sebastian’s nerve. The gall of you – to stand here like it was nothing. The days he had spent tracking you, dreading the moment he would be greeted by your corpse.
How dare you leave? How dare you leave him? Of all the people in this world you were the one who was supposed to stay on his side.
‘I’ll be back. I promise. I just need time’
He marched to where you were standing, cupping both of your shoulders so you can look at him. “I will be given an explanation.”
Instead, your eyes fell on his left hand. He followed your line of sight, the gold band around his finger making all your cruelest nightmares come true.
How did it come to this? You scoured your memories of your entire friendship – how had the two of you come from being unable to keep a single secret from each other to strangers that have too many unspoken grievances in between them?
Was this inevitable?
Finally, you gathered your strength. He did deserve the truth from you of all people. And you could truly never keep a secret from Sebastian even now – which is also why you left. The shame, the unjustified anger, the hurt in your chest when you looked at him – you couldn’t handle it.
“I … I heard from Leander.”
His frown deepened. What does Leander have anything to do with this?
“I was going to visit you on the last weekend of your training. Then Leander caught me in town and he said … he said that after you had finished your auror training you were planning to propose, that you were already looking for a ring.”
He is going to kill that orange blabbermouth fuc –
“I couldn’t – surely, you couldn’t be that daft. I … I loved you, Sebastian! And I know I’m your friend and I should’ve been there for you. And I really am – I am happy for you,” you took his hand, your gentle touch shakily running through the gold band around his ring finger as you tried to hold back the tears. It felt like it was mocking you, like it could burn a mark on your skin. “If anyone deserves to build a family it would be you. I just … in that moment I couldn’t be happy for you. I needed to remove myself from the situation and I couldn’t say goodbye – you wouldn’t have let me! I panicked and I was hurt and … I really am sorry. I’m so sorry, Sebastian.”
As humiliating as it was to say all the hurt that you were carrying with you as you traveled the world to escape your love for him it did make you feel lighter. Were you a coward? Maybe so. But you will not shame your past self for what she did out of hurt and fear. It was painful but necessary.
It wasn’t until Sebastian was cupping your face and wiping your cheeks with his thumb that you realized you had been crying.
“Darling, who did you think the ring was for?”
You blinked, “What?”
You could tell he was trying to lengthen his patience with you, clearly as he was the more emotionally stable one at the moment even though it looked like he was at the precipice of choking you. "Have I ever told you that I was courting anyone?”
The conversation was taking a turn you weren't expecting. “N-No, but Leander and Everett used to keep teasing you about the Ministry girls that was always at your tail so I just assumed …”
He raised his eyebrows, holding onto your cheeks tighter so you had to look at him. For the first time in your entire friendship, you couldn’t read him at all. “I assumed you became interested in one of them.”
He sighed, “No, sweetheart. I did not become interested in any of them.”
You frowned, still feeling the cold ring on your cheek. “Then who did you marry?”
“I’m … not married.” This time it was him who seemed to blush, actually breaking eye contact to chuckle. When he looked back at you it was like you were getting a peek of the boyish Sebastian you once knew. “I would have been if the beautiful witch I had been chasing did not disappear on me right when I was about to propose.”
His words sunk into you like molasses, the wrinkle in between your eyebrows disappearing as your eyes widened in realization. Surely, he doesn’t mean –
“I just wore it since I would’ve been wearing it either way if someone had said yes. And it’s a more effective way to ward off any hopefuls. A little white lie to cover up my bruised heart and spare their egos”
“Wait, wait –“you tried to push him away but one of his arms just wrapped around your back, pushing your chest to his. He wasn’t going to let you get away this time, if he has to cast a binding spell on you without your knowledge then so be it.
The past five years had been torture enough.
“I guess it’s what I deserved. Letting the love of my life wait around just because my pride wanted me to earn the right to ask for her hand. The Hero of Hogwarts, the brightest witch of our age – surely, I couldn’t just ask her, could I?”
The abundance of information threatened to drown your head in. Pieces of the grand puzzle that never seemed to fit right clicking and clacking in your head as you slowly pieced together the blanks in the history of your relationship because you didn’t bother to ask and he didn’t bother to say anything.
He means you right? He was going to propose to you? The bloody ring you’ve been having nightmares about was for you?!
But he had never … I mean sure you flirted here and there but it was nothing … official. No words were ever shared, no announcements, nor formality.
It was all very … murky and ambiguous.
“Hey, back to me, darling,” he gently pressed his thumb that was still holding on to your cheek. “I swear even when we’re together it’s like you’re still running away.” As if suddenly lost in thought himself he murmured, “Should I charm a chain on you, after all?”
You blinked and the dark glint in his eyes that you had only seen in his darkest moments in your fifth year disappeared, now replaced with a small cheeky smile.
“Sebastian, the ring was it – surely it wasn’t –”
“For you?” He was so close now that you could count all the freckles in his face, his lips running through your cheeks, even pressing a kiss on your temple. “Then riddle me this, my love – if not for you then who else would it be for? Hmm? Who else would I be begging to be my wife if not my most treasured friend? The one person who stood beside me through it all?”
Another kiss on your cheeks. “The only light in my life?”
The underside of your jaw. “The beautiful witch who had rudely stolen my heart when we were children then had the nerve to run away with it just as I was able to gather all the courage I had to ask for hers in return?”
He moved both of his hands to wrap around your waist, pulling and pulling and pulling as if he wanted to meld the two of you together. “Who else but you? There was and would’ve been nobody else but you.”
A shadow of a kiss at the edge of your lips. “You’re the only woman I have ever loved.”
Your heart threatens to explode.
“And you’re the only one I will ever love,” he whispered, but the quiet of the caves of Gringotts made his voice echo inside your overheating skull.
You had been aware of Sebastian’s charms when you were younger but now that he was using his pretty face and raspy voice at its full extent while professing his love for you in the murky caves of Gringotts and pieces of Inferi corpses scattered on the ground – you could almost feel your brain malfunctioning.
“I had resigned myself to a life of isolation if you had never come back,” he declared. “But you did. Why?”
He was not going to accept anything less than the truth. The intensity behind his eyes, the grip he has around you was so firm you were almost hanging off the ground. The unbearable weight of your guilt for almost driving this man to insanity even if it had not been your intention had you letting go of your defenses.
“Because I missed you,” you admitted, eyes looking straight at him to finally bare your soul. “And I couldn’t find anything the world could offer that could compare to you. Even if we just remained friends I –”
His chuckle cut you off.
“We could never just be friends,” he whispered, you couldn’t agree more. “We were never just friends. Darling, I’m not a religious man but if soulmates are real then yours and mine have always been tied to each other. And if whatever god is up there was cruel enough not to have done that then I would’ve knotted it myself.”
You giggle through your tears – you had played out so many fantasies of Sebastian’s confessions and yet now that you were living your wildest dreams it felt like your heart was trying to escape your chest.
“If you hadn’t come back, it would’ve done nothing short of killing me, you have to know that,” a ragged breath escapes him as if the mere memory of your escape were enough to cause him physical pain. “Because I love you and I have always loved you even back when I didn’t know what love is. Even when love was a mere flutter in my chest every time I looked at you. Even when I was a fool in a path to destruction I … I have always, always loved you.”
You nodded, almost gasping at the intensity of his words. “I love you too, Sebastian. So much. I would’ve always come back. I couldn’t – I would’ve honestly poisoned your wife if you had married another.”
A laugh exploded out of his mouth at your sudden proclamation, echoing through the eerie corners of the caves. “And I had more than enough daydreams of torturing any lovers you might’ve taken in your travels.” The sickly-sweet tone that contrasted such horrid words had you giggling.
“Think we should stick to each other then?” You roped an arm around his neck, letting him carry your dead weight. “Spare some poor suckers from poisons and murders.”
He grinned, leaning in closer and closer, “You always had been the one with bright ideas.”
You smiled just as he finally pressed his lips into yours. Even your wildest dream couldn’t compare to this. Sebastian’s greedy grip on your waist, his familiar scent, his taste – him. It wasn’t perfect – a bit too rough, too needy yet somehow never enough – it was better, a perfect amalgamation of your entire relationship.
“Marry me,” he commanded in between kisses, too desperate to separate from you for more than a second. “Tell me you’ll have me.”
“You’re mine,” You gasp when he suddenly turned you around and pressed you on the jagged wall of the cave. “Always been mine.”
You’ve never not been mine.
Suddenly, Sebastian ended your kisses, a whine slipping out of your throat which he placated with a quick peck before he haphazardly pulled a necklace of some kind around his neck, snapping it to let the pendant fall into his palms.
Only it wasn’t a pendant. It was a ring. The ring.
“Oh my, Sebastian,” your vision blurs with tears as he gently takes your shaking hand, slipping the beautiful jewelry on your ring finger where it shall sit forever. “It’s beautiful. I can’t wait to marry you.”
He groaned, pressing his forehead to your temple as you continued to admire the ring on your finger.
“You keep buttering me up like this and I’ll have to kidnap the first priest I see when we get out of here.”
“I wouldn’t object to that, we’ve never been one for propriety.”
“I can’t believe we had our first kiss in Gringott’s of all places,” he muttered, the vibration of his voice tickling your chest as he buries his face in it.
“That wasn’t my first kiss.”
That had his head snapping, eyes murderous at your words. "What?”
“It wasn’t yours either.”
“Huh.”
You nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact as he tries to scour through his memories.
“Remember our fight in the Room of Requirement? About the Triwizards game?”
He winced. “I’d rather not remember that.”
You shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
You settled back, knowing him well enough to know his mind was rapidly working through his memories to figure out the cryptic declaration you had confessed.
It had been frustrating when you had remembered such important event days after it happened. All it had taken was a faint whiff of Sebastian’s shampoo in your pillow in the room of requirement before you were shooting up in your bed at the memories trickling in your brain as you tried to figure out if it had been one of your more apparent daydreams only to scream when you had realized it had happened and the two of you completely forgot about it.
You had become wary of Sebastian then, staring and studying his face at any hint that he also had the luck of remembering such bold confessions from you. You aren’t sure if you were more relieved or disappointed when he showed no inkling of gaining the curse of such knowledge like you.
But at your sudden engagement to him, you believe you have suffered enough of such vexations alone. You are to be married after all which means the two of you shall share every burden from now on -- even the most embarrassing and frustrating ones.
Sebastian’s muscles locked, pushing himself up to cage you in bed as his frantic eyes widened.
You grin. He remembers.
“No fucking way.”
“Yes way.”
He slumps back down in your chest, groaning. “Are you sure you're okay with marrying a bloody idiot?”
Your body shakes with laughter. “Lucky for you, idiots are just my type.”
#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x reader#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hogwarts legacy sebastian#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction
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part 2 for that lando fic plzz 🙏🙏 ill patiently wait 🥹
promises - 2 (ln4)
part 1 || lando reaches out to you, and you seek the closure you need (3898 words) a/n: this one is pretty long so take a break mid read if you need. i also spent SO LONG trying to find the right way to close this. if theres any feedback dont be afraid to share. || masterlist taglist/thanks for supporting lol: @unknownmystery22 @hlhl99 @landorris @aleatorio1234 @sopanngon @abq46 @notsoordinaryatlas @hadesnumber1daughter @milk-en-suggarrr @daemyratwst @artsucker12 @pancakes4nina @cmleitora @krishasworld @chicanecharm43381310
“Lando?” You audibly spoke.
Your finger hovered over the notification for a few seconds as you stared blankly at the screen.
Why would he text you? And more specifically, why now?
You quickly sat back down on your couch, taking a deep breath and mentally preparing yourself. You didn’t even know why you were so stressed about this.
You opened the notification and sat there as the app took what felt like forever to load into the DM.
landonorris: hi, remember me? hope you do :) i’m coming back this week, do you wanna meet up.
Oh. Oh.
You gave yourself a few seconds to process everything, placing your phone face down on the couch.
Lando Norris just DMed you.
The Lando Norris.
The Lando Norris who used to be friends with you
The Lando Norris who cut ties with you
“Okay.” You whispered to yourself as the air in your apartment grew tense. You picked your phone back up.
This was so stupid, why were you thinking so much about this? This was still that little kid at the playground who talked about taking over the world with a racing kart.
You stared at your phone, the message glowing on the screen back into your eyes. A small part of you wanted to be bitter, say no, reject him. For all the lost years that you two could've had, for the unfulfilled promises that he probably threw away in favour of his bigger ambitions.
You sighed. Deep down, nothing would ever come between you and Lando. You liked to believe you two would still be as close as you two were back then. Your emotions were feeling all too complex, all too messy.
You typed in your message and sent them as quickly as possible, before you’d second-think yourself.
hi lando. it’s been a while. i’d love to meet up again. send me the details.
You internally cringed at yourself before switching off your phone.
Now it was just you, and your thoughts.
You missed Lando but he made all those empty, bland, pointless promises only to ditch them all to fly towards his ambitions; and it took you forever but eventually, you came to peace with it.
It was probably the hardest thing you had to do, you couldn’t just forget 10-ish years of friendship, some of your purest moments with Lando, your toughest and your wildest moments. You basically grew up with him, and watched him grow, and somehow now you had to live without it.
You never left the town you two grew up in, it never felt right to abandon your entire childhood. Never felt right to abandon Lando. So you stayed, you got your own apartment, your own job. You also visited the playground a few times a month, just for the feels, or when you desperately needed someone to talk to.
No one came close to Lando. Or rather, no one would ever come close to what Lando made you feel. If he was the standard, everyone else fell short.
Sometimes, when things got tough, you’d visit the playground again, sitting at the exact same spot and looking up at the moon, then everything would start flowing back in, all the wishes, the stinging feelings.
But anyway, Lando was gone and that was something that you couldn’t change.
Your phone chimed again, snapping you out of your swirling thoughts, prompting you to pick your phone back up.
landonorris: i’m free this weekend so i’m coming back if that’s okay landonorris: we have a lot of catching up to do.
You took a deep breath. It wasn’t worth dwelling on the negatives, you could sort that out when he arrived. It was always better to talk about these things in person… right?
He sent you another message.
landonorris: and i have an apology to make
You froze. Oh shit.
You blinked a few times, concerned that your eyes were playing some trick on you.
They weren’t.
You opened the DM on a slight impulse. Looking at the messages, you didn’t really know what to reply.
i’m excited to see you again
i’ll pick you up at the airport
You settled on liking the message about an apology, at least he would know you weren’t just conveniently ignoring it.
It took some time but it dawned on you the gravity of it all. It was years of disconnection that would culminate in a few days, and it would probably determine if this friendship would continue.
You never thought that one day you’d be messaging Lando again, let alone agreeing to meet up with him. It just felt so unreal, like you were in some sick fever dream, but it wasn’t. This was real.
No normal person would’ve done this, but you and Lando didn’t have a normal relationship, it was both of your childhoods. So this made sense. Right?
It held something in your heart, because you wanted this to continue, you were still that child who never wanted to let Lando leave the airport and never come back. However, you also didn’t know if this was right, more empty promises were only going to hurt you even more.
You took a deep breath.
You were ready for this.
—
You were, in fact, probably never ready for this. You couldn’t mentally prepare yourself for this. How could you?
You were in the taxi on the way to the airport, as you stared at the chat messages. You had messaged each other back and forth for this whole week, nothing more than simple, surface level messages and the occasional “remember when”. Something always felt weird, pretending the years of no contact never existed.
You looked out the window as the giant buildings upon buildings graced your eyes. You hadn’t been here in forever, not since Lando left. You never really needed to leave this place.
You held onto the gift you got for him, which were cookies, the ones your parents used to make for you and him. The ones he loved and always begged for more. You hoped he still liked them.
Around your neck was the necklace he gave you all those years ago, which you still kept by your bedside, just for old-times sake. You hoped he still had his one.
You exited the taxi and walked through the automatic doors of the airport. The gush of air conditioning rushed against your face as you stood there. It wasn’t even peak season and the place was packed.
You double checked the gate which Lando sent you before making your way over there, gripping tightly onto the packet of cookies. You spent hours finding the perfect packaging for it, maybe you were a perfectionist, or maybe you just wanted it perfect for Lando.
You took some time, since the place had changed a lot since you last came here, but you found the gate. You leaned against a nearby pillar, holding onto your gift for him pretty tightly, almost creasing the packaging.
You waited patiently for him as your mind reminisced the last time you were here.
His tear stained eyes looking into yours as he hugged you tightly, promising to stay in touch. Then he turned around and left, looking back at you a few times as you couldn’t bear to watch him go.
You dreamt about it a few times, and times where you’d run after him and not let him go, or where he’d stop, turn around and come back to you, choosing not to go. Then you’d wake up.
Now, it was really happening. You would watch him walk out the gates of the airport, not into them. He wouldn’t disappear into the crowd, but he’d be running towards you. Hopefully.
You glanced up at the flight board.
LANDED
You pushed yourself up from leaning on the wall, straightening your posture, taking a deep breath as you waited behind the railings near the exit of the arrival hall. The minutes crept by slowly, your eyes kept darting around, constantly fiddling with your fingers.
This was real. You were about to see Lando again, after who knows how many years.
Your foot tapped against the marbled floor incessantly, and you felt your fingers tangling and untangling themselves as a large crowd of people flooded into the arrival hall. You felt your breathing grow shaky as the nervousness engulfed your beating heart.
With their luggages, people exited the arrival hall, running up to their family, giving them tight hugs, or those being gifted with flowers. You glanced over at them, smiling slightly at the pure joy that filled the area. As the seconds slowly crawled by, your heart rate increased, thumping hard against your ribcage, you could feel the vibrations around your body.
Why were you even nervous? You told yourself and closed your eyes, taking constant breaths in and out.
You opened your eyes slowly.
And there he was, in all his glory.
Lando Norris.
Lando’s curls had definitely gotten more curlier, and he grew himself a stubble, which you vividly remember him always being unable to. His face had grown more mature since the last time.
However, his eyes were still that same brown-blue glistening.
He looked over at you, finally noticing you as you zoned out just looking at him. He smiled, and made a subtle wave. He held his luggage in one hand, having a duffle bag strapped around the handles, and in his other was a black hoodie.
You snapped out of your daze and waved back at him. He picked up his walking speed, rolling his luggage over to the exit of the arrival hall, before snaking around the railing. He wasn’t running, he was brisk walking over to you.
And now you two, were once again, face to face. It would never hurt less, just remembering the last time they were doing this, Lando would be turning away and walking off, disappearing for the next decade or so.
But that was last time. This was now.
Lando placed the hoodie onto the top of the duffle bag, opening his arms slightly. You stood there for a while, your eyes trailing all over Lando.
Then you released your emotions, you felt the tears slowly spill out as you sprinted into his arms, embracing him tightly. Your arms clasped around his body, keeping him in your embrace. You felt his arms slowly come around your body as well as he hugged you back.
You could hear some ‘aww’s in the background of it all but nothing mattered more than this.
It was years upon years of missing him, and now you had him. It took you two a few long long seconds before you pulled away from him, wiping away the remaining tears on your face. It was clear he cried a little too as he used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his face.
“Hi.” Lando said after a deep breath. His voice felt so much deeper, so much more different than last time. Only now do you catch his necklace, he remembered, he kept it with him, he’s wearing it.
Then once again, it felt like nothing ever stood between you two, like the sky could fall and you two would still stand with each other.
“Lando…” You said, trying to sound confident but your voice faltered slightly.
You hand him the packet of cookies and he receives them with visible marvel. His hands felt soft against yours as he took the packet of cookies, placing them in his duffle bag.
“Well uh…thanks.” Lando said, rubbing the back of his neck, “My hotel isn’t ready for a few hours.”
“We can talk later.” You blurted, “We could eat first.”
He nodded.
The cab ride was silent, too silent for your liking. It made you think again, deeper this time. You genuinely missed Lando, sure you “moved on” but you could never replace Lando. You reminisced again, the same recurring dream you had for the first few months, when you didn’t know if you could see Lando again. The same nightmare which haunted you when you two stopped talking for good.
Lando shuffled closer to you, which pulled you out of your thoughts. He yawned and looked at you, flashing a really subtle smile, running his hand through his curly hair.
He looked at you knowingly, like he knew all your thoughts right now. You smile back, hoping it doesn’t come off as shaky and uncertain. His head slowly falls down towards your shoulder, and you don’t stop him.
His head is now resting comfortably, hopefully, on your shoulder as he shifts even closer to you. You catch a glimpse at his face, it’s peaceful, like nothing in the world could hurt him, like when you two were kids. His breathing is constant, the rise and fall of his chest is tranquil.
—
As both of you wait outside the restaurant, Lando says, “Actually, I’m not hungry.”
You turn to look at him.
“Could we maybe just… take a walk.” Lando suggests.
You shrug, you didn’t mind anything.
“With all your luggage?” You ask.
“Yea, I don’t really mind.” He says.
“Sure.” You reply.
Both of you walk away from the restaurant, walking in some general direction.
And now, in the endless constant motion of the world, it gave both of you a moment, a moment to talk.
He takes a deep breath, fingers tapping on the handle of his luggage, “Sorry.” His voice softens.
You nod, knowing you couldn’t postpone this for much longer.
“I missed you.” You say after a pause, “I missed you a lot.”
Lando’s head drops as he wipes away what seems like tears.
“I know…” He says, his voice shaky, “I shouldn’t have-”
This was a really bad place to have a breakdown, you tell yourself, even though you felt the growing urge in your body to just let everything loose.
“I can’t stop thinking about how horrible it was.” Lando says, clearly he is letting himself loose, “I didn’t mean to lose contact with you, I know that must’ve hurt you.”
You nod again, not really sure if you should respond to him.
“It’s been haunting.” He says, “I’m sorry.”
“I shouldn’t… no, I should never have left you alone.” He says, “I made all these stupid promises to you which I never bothered keeping and… and it just… you didn’t deserve any of that.”
Lando’s hands are slowly gripping harder and harder onto the necklace around his neck.
“You basically grew up with me and… I shouldn’t have let anything make me forget that.” He takes a deep breath, “But I did, and I know I hurt you.”
You feel something warm bubbling in your body. It was so stupid, how all you needed was this moment, and it happened on a sidewalk of a randomly busy road. You shut your eyes and take it all in.
“And I know it took me too long to realise that, and I’m sorry that it took me that long.” He says, his voice shaking as time went on, “I’m here now, and please… let me fix it.”
The silence for a few seconds prompts you to speak up.
You gently hold the hand that was gripping his necklace. You feel him loosen his grip.
“You know, when we were still kids, you used to tell me how you’d take over the world and all that…”
Lando’s face darkens as he nods.
“And guess what,” You smile slightly, “You did exactly that, and I’m so… so… proud of you, and nothing will ever come between that.”
Tears brim in Lando's eyes and you don’t know how much longer you’ll last.
“I couldn’t ask for anything better for you.”
Lando slowly falls into your embrace once again, you catch him and tightly hold onto him.
Between sobs, he says, “Please… please I’m sorry, I’ll fix everything.”
You gently pat his back, “You don’t have to fix anything.”
Sure you were bitter about him leaving you alone, but this was Lando, this was the same kid at the playground, and you would never forget that.
Because at the end of the day, you weren’t mad at Lando, you never were, you just missed him. You missed knowing that Lando would be there for you, and that he would stay with you.
You spent all those years just wishing on something new, wondering where it all went wrong and where you went wrong. How all of this fits into the grand scheme of things in your endless dramatic cycle of your life.
The closure was here.
Lando kept holding onto you tightly.
“I promise.” He says, “For real this time.”
For real.
Years of unfinished stories and failing to find closure in yourself and here it was, presenting itself in the open. You hug him back, and sob softly. You couldn’t care less about what anyone else passing by was thinking. This was just about you and Lando.
“I think we should go somewhere.” You say.
He looks at you and he knows.
—
You sat on the ground next to him, the wooden base of the slide had been repainted. He leaned against you.
Those years which felt magnified because of your unhealed wounds suddenly felt so small. Only there to serve as a point in time to bring both of you closer to each other.
“I found no one. It was lonely out there.” Lando admits, “No one came close, I was always trying to find something new, something fresh, but everything led me back to…”
He fiddles with his necklace.
“You.”
You feel everything coming into place, like the grey skies overlooking your life were finally moving over, letting the sun peek out from behind them. You closed your eyes and looked up into the sky.
This was it. This was everything. This was all you asked for.
Your recurring nightmare became insignificant. It didn’t scare you anymore.
You shifted yourself so you were lying on the floor, which was probably dirty but it didn’t matter. Lando positioned his head so it was laying on your chest, so he felt the restful rise and fall of your breathing, and you felt… at peace, for once.
“I’ve been waiting...” You say, unable to finish your sentence as your voice cracks.
“And I won’t let you go, ever again.”
— — —
And he was right. He never let go.
You and Lando spent the weekend, which felt like forever, to fix it. Lando spent it all to fix every scar, heal every wound and nurse every bruise he ever inflicted. He held onto you and never dropped you once, keeping his promise.
Lando took you out the whole weekend, rediscovering your stories, and your childhood. He kept you close, never leaving you. He rewrote the haunting past, making sure he never messed up this time.
The once unfinished chapter that stood high above you, the once daunting task was now closing, the final line was being written in the darkness of the years left alone. The emotional baggage was dropped in the past and the pages of your story stopped burning up.
Lando was here now.
You brought him out in the evening, taking him to his favourite spot, by the edge of a hill overlooking the city. You sat there with him, holding some Chinese takeout.
“You forgive me?” He asks.
“Yes.” You reply, “I do.”
“I…” Lando hesitates, “Yea… that’s great.” His voice is unusually soft.
“You know…” You inhale and exhale deeply, “I remember the night after I realised you weren’t going to text back.”
Lando stiffens up, “Sorry.” He mutters.
“It’s okay now…” You say before continuing, “I went to the playground and stood there while it rained, and wondered what I did wrong.”
You don’t know whether right now was a good time for this but you started so you had to finish.
“Nothing. You did nothing wrong.” Lando says as he looks into your eyes, “It was all me who messed up.”
You pat his shoulder.
“Yea… but back then, I felt like I didn’t hold onto you enough, didn’t work hard enough for you to stay. So… that was it for me.” You admit, “I wasn’t ready to lose you so I cried that night, alone.”
You feel Lando’s guilt from a mile away.
“But-” You lean backward, supporting yourself with your elbows, “today, when we went to the playground, I think we fixed that.”
Lando’s face brightens up as he lifts his head. He fixed something.
“I think… you…” You couldn’t find the words, “You’re back.”
“I am.” Lando says, “And I’ll fix it all.”
In the night sky, you laid down next to him, on the ground. The hurting stopped, all that stopped today, in that playground where you two grew up, where you went to all those dark days, and where you left all the emotional baggage.
The skies illuminated the sky and reflected off Lando’s eyes. It was beautiful, he was beautiful. Under the bright sky and the night breeze, Lando was at peace with himself. So were you.
You scooted closer to him and he laid his head in your embrace, both of you laid in the grass. And right there was where everything felt alright, like nothing would change again. Just like when they were children.
Just like last time.
“I love you.”
—
The time had to come eventually. You were back at the airport.
You hugged him tightly once again, this moment felt no better than the last. The hug is laced with rewritten years of friendships and the closure of every dark page in your stories, to be happier, to be better. It was for everything and every minute you two lost now filled in with the memories of this weekend. This closure. He sobs on your shoulder, he never wants to let go.
But he has to. Both of you take a step back.
“If it helps you.” You say, “You fixed it.”
Lando wipes the tears away, giving you one of the purest smiles you think you’ll ever see in your life.
“And for you…” He says, “You’ll always be here.” He points to his heart.
“I’ll never let you hurt again.”
You smile, embracing him again.
As he’s about to leave, you take the necklace off and hand it to him. He look at it, and hastily takes his one off, swapping your necklaces.
“To rewritten love.” You say.
He nods and puts the necklace on.
“I’ll see you around.” His voice cracks a little.
“Promise?”
He tears up again, “Yes… Yes I promise.”
You look at his sparkly brown-blue eyes again, coming to peace with everything. As he enters the boarding gates, he looks back at you again, smiling slightly at you as he waves. You wave back, holding onto the necklace again.
He walks off, disappearing into the crowd once again but it doesn’t feel empty this time. It’s closure, it’s settlement, it’s resolution. You watch his plane take off, hearing the roar of the engine before it fades into nothing.
It was a promise.
A promise that you would keep, even as you moved out of this city, to another place. A promise that he would keep even as he reached greater heights.
Because a promise was made and a promise will be kept.
END.
i hope this hit expectations, i dont think there will be a part 3 lol
#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 fandom#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x male reader#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#y/n#f1 x gn reader#not beta read#not proofread#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#mclaren#f1 angst#angst#lando norris angst#ln4 angst#f1 fluff
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this mess was yours (now your mess is mine) - Part 1
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]
Reader x Carmy Berzatto (The Bear FX)
Rating: Explicit (6.4k)
Tags: Smut, Set two(ish) years before the present aka the New York years, Porn with a little plot, Virgin!Carmy (my beloved), Mutual Masturbation, P in V Sex, Thigh Riding, Handjob, Fingering, Oral Sex (F receiving), Friends with Benefits, Both Carmy and Reader have a bit of a praise kink
Summary: Carmy is your front door neighbor. You fall head first into a friends with benefits situationship. What could possibly go wrong?
"You know, I had never met someone so committed to ghosting. Leaving the city... That's a whole other level," you said, the words leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. Not as bitter as the sight of Carmy, though. He looked beautiful still, eyes wide with surprise and face red with embarrassment. You were in the alley behind the restaurant, where he had dragged you away from the staff mumbling something about "an old friend from New York."
"I've been uh-" his hands were fiddling with a spoon somewhat manically.
"I know," you interrupted. "I read your spread in Food and Wine. I was at the dentist and they had the magazine. Imagine my surprise when I saw that my neighbor, sorry, ex neighbor and ex friend with benefits, was the main story of a culinary magazine."
You were being melodramatic, you knew. But you had earned it. It had been months, fucking months, and not a word - he could be dead for all you knew.
"I told you I was a chef," he said sheepishly.
"Fuck you, Carmy."
"Yeah. Yeah, that's fair," he admitted with a deep sigh. "Do you, uh, wanna talk?"
"Yes."
2 years earlier
The elevator of your shitty, overpriced building was out of order for the third time this year. Fuck. As you climbed up the stairs you started hearing someone on the phone, his voice gruff.
"Sugar called. She is worried about the restaurant, she's worried about you..."
As you got closer you started to make out the voice on the other side of the phone, rougher, defensive, and very loud.
"My baby brother is worried about me? Well, fuck me. I must be a real goddamn mess, huh?"
"Don't be like that, Mikey. If you need me to come back, just fucking say it."
It was your front door neighbor, you realized. He was leaning on the wall by his door, rummaging through his backpack, his face scrunched up and red.
"Don't bother coming over, hot shot, everything's under control," the voice on the phone said, a little condescending.
"That your stupid little brother? Tell him to go fuck himself, will you, Mike?" a second voice chimed in, followed by the defeaning sound of a hundred knives and forks falling to the ground. "Fuck me!"
And the line went silent. You stood awkwardly, hand on your doorknob, waiting. You glanced at your neighbor and found his gaze vacant as he stood in front of his apartment door, keys in hand, standing still. He honestly looked on the edge of a meltdown and your heart ached for him.
"It's Carmy, right?"
Your voice woke him up from his daydream - probably more like day-nightmare.
"Yeah. Hi," he managed, absent. He was still fiddling with his keys.
"No offense but you look like shit," you said and it made him huff half a laugh - he looked pretty when he smiled. "Wanna come in for a drink?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure," Carmy replied and followed you inside the apartment.
"So what do you want?" you asked, head inside the fridge. "I have beer-"
"Actually, uh, I don't drink," Carmy said like he had just remembered.
"Oh, so coffee? It's a little late but I think I have decaf somewhere..." you offered gently, moving towards the pantry.
'It's- never mind," he said, looking conflicted, walking backwards, to the door. "I just didn't want to be alone tonight," he winced and your heart skipped a beat. "That sounded awful. Sorry, I- uh- I'll leave."
"It's okay," you said, a shy smile curving your lips. "I've been trying to hit on you for months so it's more than okay."
"Oh!" Carmy froze, eyebrows arched, stunned.
"Yeah," you looked down at the floor, face flushed. "Gave up for a minute there. Thought you had a girlfriend or boyfriend so I-"
"No, there's nobody," he rushed to say. "I'm just busy."
"Workaholic?" you guessed.
"Yeah," he admitted.
You moved towards him, slow, Carmy's blue eyes following the movement of your hips. You stood right in front of him, one hand raising to touch his arm, up his shoulder and then holding his face.
He blurted: "You're pretty."
"You're cute too," you replied, smiling.
You leaned forward and kissed him. Carmy returned the kiss, gentle, soft, your hands tangling in his hair. You parted for a second, eyes searching his, finding him flushed. It was only a second of hesitation before he grabbed your waist and pulled you close, kissing hungrily, his tongue touching yours, holding you tight like you were a lifeline - like he needed this as much as you did.
"Bedroom?" you asked breathily the moment he started kissing your neck.
He nodded and pushed you gently past the kitchen. It was a good thing he had a vague idea where it was.
You hit the edge of the mattress and leaned backwards, dragging him into bed with you, opening your legs to let him settle there. He kept kissing your jaw and collarbone, tickling your skin with his curls, humming while you raked your nails through his scalp. Suddenly, his hands moved from holding your waist to squeezing your ass; you tugged at his hair in surprise and Carmy let out a sound between a yelp and a moan. It made you melt and giggle, bringing him closer still.
Your hands moved down, tickling as they reached the hem of his shirt; Carmy sat up and removed it, desperate.
"Fuck," you muttered, your fingers tracing the lines and planes of his torso for a moment. He was gorgeous.
It had gotten way too hot inside the room and his touch was making you dizzy, so you got rid of your shirt too, a plain beige bra underneath. His fingers traced the edges of the cups, leaving goosebumps on your skin, making you sigh with pleasure. It wasn't enough, though.
"Wait," you gasped and he froze immediately.
"You alright?" he asked, looking up, like he was scared he had done something wrong.
You cupped his face gently. "I'm just taking it off," you giggled, letting go of his face to open the clasp and tug it down. "This isn't even a nice one," you lamented, thinking of a dark lace ensemble, used only once and with someone less enthusiastic about you than Carmy. Still, his eyes became impossibly wide once your bra was off.
"Shit," Carmy whispered, burying his face in the valley between your breasts, eager, leaving kisses everywhere, carefully sucking on your nipples. You arched your back and held him tighter, urging him to get closer - you wished he was a little rougher but the tender way that he was going about things was nice. You felt cared for.
Your hands went down his stomach, fingers hooking in his belt loops, tugging with need. He stopped for a moment, looking straight into your eyes.
"Do you want me to-?" he hesitated.
"We can just keep making out but I'd like you to fuck me," you said plainly. "If you want."
He nodded, dazed. "Yeah. I think I'd like that."
You tugged at his trousers, fighting with the belt buckle for a moment in your haste.
"Hold on. Let me," he said, getting rid of his slacks while you took both your jeans and underwear off at once. He gave you a wide eyed stare as he finally threw his boxer briefs carelessly to the floor.
The atmosphere was charged as you laid down facing each other.
Almost as if to break the tension, one of your hands reached out for his cock, caressing it, making him groan.
"So soft," you mumbled.
He rushed to touch you too, cupping your pussy. His fingers were shaking a little, which gave you pause. You touched his wrist, rubbing your thumb on his tattooed skin. He looked at you.
"Sorry, I'm uh-"
"Nervous?" you prompted and he nodded. "Yeah, same. I've had a dry spell of... Almost eight months. You?"
"Years," he said, clearing his throat.
"Fuck. That's tough," you said with a sympathetic smile, your hand letting go of his cock to caress his shoulder blade instead, reassuring. "How are you at following directions?"
"Honestly, pretty fucking great," he said with a nervous chuckle.
"We can work with that."
You grabbed his right hand, and took his middle finger in your mouth, sucking on it thoroughly, a shiver running down Carmy's spine. You guided his hand back between your folds, dragging it up the length of your cunt until the tip of his finger was right on your clit. You closed your eyes in pleasure, his long, calloused fingers feeling delicious on you.
"There," you said breathily.
"How?" Carmy asked.
"Circles."
Your eyes fluttered once he started moving, slow and feathery. Your hand caressed the head of his cock and the sudden touch made Carmy's hand stutter and then stop completely.
"You first," he mumbled, taking your hand and placing it on his chest instead.
"A gentleman," you joked breathily, tracing one of his tattoos with the tip of your nail. You were getting flustered again now that his finger was moving faster. "A little to your right... Fuck, that feels good, Carmy."
He offered you a wicked smile in return.
"Faster?" he asked.
You nodded, biting your lower lip.
"Keep doing it just like that. Don't change a fucking thing," you pleaded, moving closer, your leg over his hip to give him more access, holding tight to his shoulders. "Fuck, your hands! So good, so good, so good," you mumbled nonsensically into his ear and Carmy smiled wide. You started kissing him frantically, getting closer and closer. "Oh!"
You stiffened in his hold, legs shaking a little, and a long moan leaving your lips. His finger was still moving, helping you ride the aftershocks of your orgasm.
"You okay?" he asked after a minute.
"Yeah," you sighed, and leaned to kiss him, all tongue, lust drunk. "Thank you."
Your hand reached for his cock, finding it achingly hard, Carmy's eyes rolled back at the touch. He moaned. There was a lot of precum on his tip. Was all that from just hearing and seeing you?
"I'll probably fucking embarrass myself but I really wanna be inside you," Carmy managed breathily.
You smiled and grabbed a condom from your bedside table.
"Do you want me to put it on?" you asked when you saw him hesitate to take it out.
"Go ahead," he watched your hands roll the condom on, eyes wide as you held him. "Fuck."
He grabbed your leg and hoisted it back over his hip. "This okay?"
"Yeah," you sighed, guiding his cock inside you with one hand and holding his arm with the other. "I know it's been a while so don't worry if you don't last," you said.
Did you want Carmy to fuck you hard and long? Yes. But you were reasonable.
He nodded sheepishly, moving gently until he was completely buried inside you.
"Fuck, you're so warm," Carmy said, eyes closed in concentration. "So tight."
You chuckled against the side of his face, flushed and hot.
"You feel amazing too," you said, the stretch of your pussy delicious and satisfying. You kissed his temple and his cheek, already a little sweaty and salty. "You can move now."
He didn't need to be told twice. The slam of his hips was frantic from the beginning, feral sounds coming from his chest, it was exactly what you needed. You realized Carmy was probably working his shit out while fucking you but it didn't feel like he was using you at all. He was completely present: his eyes on your face, his mouth on your skin, and his hands caressing you.
"Are you good?" he asked.
"So fucking good," you replied, your recent orgasm leaving you sensitive and electrified. "You're already lasting longer than I thought you would," you said with a giggle.
"Fuck off," he said lightly.
Suddenly, you went back to the third or fourth time you had seen Carmy, crossing paths in the staircase, the primal part of your brain fantasizing about what it would be like to have sex with him, you on top, his strong hands holding your hips possessively. If this was a one time thing, you should make the most of it, right?
"Can I-? Fuck. Will you let me ride you, Carmy?" you said.
His pupils dilated with desire. "Yes. Fuck," he blurted out, rolling over almost immediately.
You settled on his hips, the angle doing wonders for you - his tip brushed your G spot and your clit touched the hair at the base of his cock.
"Fuck."
You took his hands and placed them over your hips, while you pressed your palms to his sculpted chest.
"You're so fucking hot. It's ridiculous," you said, wild with need. It made him blush down to his collarbones.
You kept your eyes on his as you lifted your hips, then sat back down on him.
"Holy shit," he gasped.
"Yeah?" you checked in.
"Yeah. Keep going," he pleaded.
And you did. You started building an undulating rhythm, Carmy's mouth was open and his brows were furrowed. His blue eyes took you in completely: the bounce of your breasts, the curve of your stomach, the way your torso arched with every stroke. His hands moved upwards, cupping your breasts, thumbing your nipples, unconsciously making you go faster and squeeze your cunt around his cock.
"Please," Carmy keened.
You felt him struggle, he was close.
"Hold on just a little bit," you whispered. "I'll make it good for you, Carmy."
He nodded, red in the face.
You began riding him hard and fast, the bed squeaking underneath you.
"Oh, fuck!" he moaned. "Fuck, shit, Jesus Christ..."
You went faster and faster until the string of curses leaving his lips became completely unintelligible and his body tensed underneath you.
"Come on," you leaned forward, your hair caressing his chest and your lips grazing his cheek. "Let go."
He came with a series of guttural groans, holding you tight as your hips kept moving, rutting into his, chasing the last remnants of pleasure you both could get.
He let out a long exhale and you dismounted, your thighs shaking at the effort.
"You okay?" he asked. He looked slightly embarrassed as he took off the condom and tied it up.
"Just a little sore," you reassured him, settling next to him on the mattress.
His hand caressed your thigh, trying to soothe the ache in some small way - the gesture made you melt inside a little. You ran your fingers through his hair, his face was sweaty and beautiful.
"What do you do for a living?" you asked.
"I'm a chef," Carmy replied simply.
"Huh. I would have guessed tattoo artist," you said honestly, a finger tracing the ink on his forearm.
"I get that," he gave you a soft smile. "You?"
"I work at a bookstore."
"Makes sense," he hummed, eyeing the packed bookshelves in your room and the small piles of books on your bedside table. You stayed in silence for a while, just caressing each other, his fingers tracing pictures on your thighs. "That was amazing," he said.
"Yeah," you agreed, giddy. Your orgasm must have given you courage because you heard yourself saying: "Wanna do it again sometime?"
Carmy turned to look at you, slightly alarmed, like everything that had happened was a dream and he was suddenly awake. For a second, you were scared that he would bolt out of your bed and your apartment.
"I'm not good with relationships," he said in the end.
"Oh! No, I meant the sex bit," you smiled. "I'm not looking for a relationship either."
You weren't. Your life was enough of a fucking mess without some guy that could upend it by cheating on you or knocking you up.
"Hey, no need to say yes. I'm a big girl, I can take no for an answer," you reassured him.
He rolled over and kissed you hard.
"Yes, I want to do this again."
~
Carmy had left without waking you the morning after you fucked, scribbling a note on a napkin: "Early morning at the restaurant. See you soon? C."
You didn't see him for a few days though, not even a glimpse as you crossed each other in the hallway, but you hadn't stopped thinking about him - his hands, his eyes, the feeling of his cock buried deep inside you... You thought about him while you touched yourself late that following night, gasping his name as you came.
It was a relief then to see him about to knock on your door two nights later, takeaway container in hand, as you climbed up the stairs.
"Carmy," you said fondly.
"Oh!" He turned with wide eyes. "I just wanted to- Would you like to come over for some food?"
You beamed. "Did you make it?"
"Sort of," he shrugged. "It's- uh- leftovers from the restaurant. They're good though."
"Well, how can I say no to leftovers?" you teased and followed him inside his apartment.
It was the same floor plan as yours, only mirrored, and with less stuff - a lot less.
"You sure you live here?" you asked, eyeing the empty, stark rooms.
"Yeah," he chuckled. "I don't spend much time in it, though."
Carmy warmed up the food and placed it carefully on two plates, it looked like he was making an effort to be casual about it.
"What kind of restaurant do you work in?" you asked as he handed you a plate. "It smells delicious, by the way."
"Uh, fine dining," he said absently, guiding you to the couch. "You like risotto? Didn't think to ask, sorry."
"It's okay," you shrugged, taking a forkful and almost immediately moaning in delight. "Shut the fuck up! You made this?"
Carmy blushed and looked down. "We never do portions this big but I figured you'd be hungry," he said.
"You thought correctly," you said, swaying a little from how good the food was. It made him give you an endeared look. "Thank you."
"It's nothing," he insisted.
You kept eating in comfortable silence.
"Truly one of the best meals I've had," you said earnestly once you were finished.
Carmy took your clean plate and his half finished one to the kitchen, coming back to sit beside you.
"How was your day?" he asked.
"Fine," you said, half turning in your seat to take a good look at him. "Sales wise it was shit, according to my manager, but one little girl told me I was cool, so..."
He smiled wide. "Did she get anything?"
"Well, she wanted a book on planets and space. Her parents wanted to buy her an encyclopedia of some sort. It was for kids but still..." you scrunched your nose. "It took some convincing but her parents finally caved in."
"I think she was right," he said softly.
"Mmm?"
"I think you're pretty cool," he said, leaning over to kiss you.
It was gentle, measured, lovely.
"And you?" you asked when you parted. "How was your day?"
Something dark clouded over Carmy's face. "Let's not talk about my day," he rasped and then kissed you hard.
It was wild, hungry, needy.
You scooted closer to Carmy, running your fingers through his hair, humming in pleasure as his tongue touched yours. The angle was weird, and so you climbed over the couch, aiming to straddle his hips but settling on his thigh by accident. He bit on your lower lip and you moaned into his mouth.
"Fuck, Carmy," you blurted out.
His lips started kissing the length of your neck, down your collarbone, over your shirt. You took the hint and took your shirt off, proud that your bra was a little nicer than last time.
"Shit," he mumbled, kissing your breasts, up the cup, and through the lace.
You started grinding on his clothed thigh to relieve the ache between your legs, moaning every few thrusts.
"Is that good?" he asked breathily.
"Yeah," you sighed.
You could feel every seam of your jeans against his muscled thigh. If you weren't so horny, maybe you would feel a little embarrassed about dry humping your neighbor like a fucking teenager but Carmy didn't seem to mind - if anything, he seemed to like it. He held tight to your hips and angled his leg upward so that it would rub against your crotch easier, his eyes marveling at the way your body moved.
"You look so fucking hot," he mumbled into your skin. "Been thinking about you for days... About fucking you again... Making you feel good..."
You had always been a sucker for praise and there was something about Carmy saying nice things on that dirty tone that made you melt.
"Yeah?" you held his face, tilting it so he could look at you. "I've been touching myself thinking of you. Been making myself come thinking of your fingers on my clit and your cock inside me."
"Fuck," he uttered, mouth agape. After a moment of just staring at you, he surged forward and kissed you, mouth open, passionate. The crotch of your jeans was soaked with your arousal, wetting Carmy's slacks too. His hands on your hips urged you to go faster, to get your release.
"Close?" he asked.
You moaned needily into his mouth as a response.
Carmy slid the straps of your bra downwards,
not bothering to open it, and he took one of your nipples in his mouth and the other between his fingers.
"Shit! Fuck!" you cursed, the tightness in your belly snapping while you kept grinding on Carmy's thigh. He left soft kisses on the skin of your chest and caressed your waist while you came down from your high.
"So hot," he mumbled. "So fucking hot."
You giggled, and caressed his face not knowing what to say. You moved to straddle him properly, eager to feel his hardness against your core. He groaned.
"Do you wanna fuck me?" you asked flirtatiously, your palm touching right over his erection.
Carmy rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I do," he panted. "Fuck."
You leaned downward, kissing the side of his neck and face. "Where do you keep your condoms?"
He froze.
"Shit."
You sat back, an incredulous look on your face.
"Carmy, really?"
He was flushed with embarrassment. "Even if I had one, it would be expired."
"I'll go get one from my apartment," you said. When you tried to get up, his strong hands kept your hips in place.
"Stay," he pleaded.
"Carmy, you're cute as fuck but no," you declared, rearranging the straps of your bra. "It's just across the hall."
"Wait, wait. I didn't mean we should do it without-" he searched for your gaze. "I meant I don't want you to leave, that's all. We don't have to do anything tonight."
"Oh."
"Yeah," he exhaled, arching his neck to kiss you sweetly.
You giggled. "Next time I come over there better condoms."
"Definitely," he agreed.
You kept making out for a while, his calloused hands tracing pictures on your back, and his tongue touching yours gently. You moved forward a little and pressed on his erection accidentally. He let out a loud groan.
"Sorry," you apologized. "There's something we can do," you said softly, undoing his belt and the buttons of his slacks. "Can I touch you?"
"Yes."
You took his cock in your hand, spreading his precum down the length of it. Your other hand went inside your jeans, gathering arousal to use as lube. Carmy shivered underneath you.
"What do you like?" you asked, pumping his cock slowly, watching Carmy's chest move quicker as you did.
"The tip, with your thumb," he managed. You did as he asked, swiping over his slit, once. He nodded, biting his lip. "Yeah, when I'm close I do that. And just fast. I like it fast."
"Would you let me start slow, though?"
He smiled, running a hand through his messed up hair. "Yeah."
You tortured him a little, to be honest.
You caressed every ridge and vein on his cock, lovingly, slowly, and you kissed his lips through it, swallowing his moans.
"Fuck, it never feels this way," he praised. "So good."
"I'm going to go faster now, the way you like it, okay?"
He nodded desperately. "Please."
You pumped him as fast as you could, watching him become a mess under you, rolling his eyes and shaking.
"Fuck, I'm close," he keened.
You kept on that frantic rhythm with one hand and caressed his head with the other, like he told you. In seconds he was coming all over your hand and forearm, some droplets falling on your belly and chest. You were a goddamn mess but so was Carmy - his eyes unfocused and an absent smile on his face.
"Good?" you asked proudly.
"Tremendous," he chuckled and moved to kiss you holding you tight to his body.
"Careful, I've got- uh-" you giggled, gesturing at the stripes of cum all over your right side.
"Fuck, didn't think about that, wait."
He took his shirt off and wiped you clean with it, kissing you deeply once he was done. He dragged you to lie on the couch with him.
"Sorry about the mess," he apologized.
"Sex is messy," you shrugged.
"Guess I don't have much experience on the subject," Carmy said absently.
"I find it hard to believe with the way you look," you flirted, caressing the muscles of his arm.
"What if- uh- what if I told you you are my first?" he said.
"As in the first person you had sex with?" you confirmed.
He nodded.
"I'd find it even harder to believe," you said, tracing the contours of his face with your finger, the arch of his nose. "But I'd thank you for telling me."
Carmy smiled with relief and kissed you again.
"Can I ask you something?" he said softly.
"Sure."
"When you came thinking of me, what were you doing?"
You blushed and covered your face, the reality of what you had said hitting just now.
"Uh," you hesitated, "well, I was fucking my fingers."
"Would you show me?"
You turned to look at him, his eyes were dark and dead serious.
"Fuck, Carmy," you exhaled. "I thought you were wiped out and this was your idea of pillow talk."
"Oh, I'm wiped the fuck out," he agreed. "It just seems like you aren't," he added with a smile.
You smirked. "Alright."
With your eyes on his, you unbuttoned your jeans and dragged them down your legs along with your underwear, both still wet with your arousal. You opened your legs, one dangling over the edge of the couch and the other pressed against Carmy's body. His hand hooked under the bend of your knee, holding you, his thumb drawing circles on your skin. You shivered.
Carmy's eyes followed your hand as it rested on your mound, your middle and ring fingers going easily inside your cunt with how wet you were.
"Fuck," he said, entranced, watching your fingers go in, knuckle by knuckle.
You arched your back and moaned. Every feeling was heightened by having Carmy watch you. You started curling your fingers inside you, brushing your G spot, gasping. Then, you began thrusting your fingers in and out, your hips chasing the feeling too. Before you could get too carried away, Carmy touched your arm, his fingers closing on the wrist that was giving you pleasure.
"Can I?" he asked.
"Yes," you panted, your cunt clenching at the thought of his calloused hands.
You took your fingers out with a wince. His middle finger traced the contour of your clit, making you shiver and giggle nervously.
"Tell me if I'm fucking up," he said shyly.
"Yes." You kissed the side of his face, encouraging him as his index poked at your entrance. "Little lower. Yes."
He had no trouble fitting in one finger with how wet you were. The second one was a tighter fit.
"Slow, slow," you instructed him, humming with pleasure at the stretch, grabbing at his bicep once every knuckle was inside you. "Fuck..."
He curled his fingers inside you, caressing your walls gently. You let out a loud moan when he touched your G spot.
"Oh! Is that-?" he asked. "It feels different."
"Yeah," you whined because he stopped. "Keep going, Carmy, please."
"Right, right, sorry," he chuckled and continued, his long fingers reaching the depths of you, growing more confident and bolder in their movements.
One of your hands was leaving crescent moon imprints on his bicep - your nails digging in his flesh as your pleasure grew.
"My clit, touch my clit, please," you begged and he rushed to press his thumb on it, circling it, your body responding immediately, arching and clenching.
When you opened your eyes, something proud was coloring Carmy's features.
"Keep going, you're doing so good, making me feel so fucking good, Carmy," you mumbled, burying your face in his neck, panting. Your words made him go faster and a little rougher. "Fuck, you're gonna make me come."
Your voice was so whiny you didn't recognize it but you couldn't concentrate on that, not when Carmy was three knuckles deep inside you, hitting your G spot with every stroke, breathing hard against your skin.
"Are you gonna think about this the next time you touch yourself?" he rasped and you unraveled, seeing stars while you rutted against his hand, drowning your moans on his shoulder, grabbing the cushions of his couch like they were the only thing keeping you grounded.
"You okay?" Carmy asked after what felt like a long time, though probably it only was a couple of minutes. Your cunt was still throbbing deliciously around his fingers.
"I'm perfect," you sighed, grabbing his face for a messy kiss.
"Wiped out?" he asked.
"Not sure I'll be able to walk back to my apartment actually," you giggled, eyes half lidded. "You are truly incredible at following instructions," you teased.
"Told you," he played along, kissing your shoulder gently as he took out his fingers. "You can sleep over if you want," he offered.
"Nah, I need to take a shower," you sighed, a little sad that you had to get rid of the smell of Carmy and sex. You grabbed your shirt and underwear from the floor. "I'll sleep here next time," you promised.
"Next time?" Carmy asked, watching you get up and get dressed.
"Yeah, next time," you insisted flirtatiously. "When you buy condoms."
He laughed.
You leaned downward to kiss him sweetly.
"Thank you. It was good, so good," you said earnestly.
"Fuck. You were amazing too," he replied.
You walked to the door. "Good night, Carmy."
"Good night."
~
You were brushing your hair in front of the bathroom mirror, fresh out of the shower, warm and relieved after a long day. An insistent knock on your door made you roll your eyes in irritation.
"Who is it?"
"Carmy!"
Your heart raced a little and you smiled. You opened the door and sure enough, there he was, disheveled and beautiful, wrapped up in his wool coat.
"Hello," you said with a shy smile.
"Didn't mean to interrupt," Carmy said, gesturing vaguely at your wet hair and bathrobe. You rearranged it and he blushed a little - which was terribly endearing considering he had seen your pussy up close not even a week ago.
"You're not interrupting anything," you replied. Before you could stop yourself, your hand reached out and touched his cheek, red from the cold. "You're freezing. Want to come in? I can make us some tea."
"Yeah, that would be nice," he walked in behind you, toed off his shoes, left his coat on the couch, and followed you inside the kitchen.
"Chamomile?"
"Sure."
You went through the preparations in silence, there was a sigh of relief once he grabbed the mug you were offering and held it between his hands.
"You okay?" you asked, leaning on the counter and taking a sip of your tea. "Bad day?"
"Always," Carmy replied and some part of you knew he wasn't joking.
"I'm sorry," you said softly. "Is it really that bad inside a kitchen?"
"Whatever you're imagining, it's ten times worse," he rasped. "Twenty if you have an asshole for a boss."
"And do you?"
"Oh, yeah. The worst," he took a big gulp of tea - you were almost certain he had burnt his tongue with it.
"Then why do you do it?" you tilted your head, searching for his eyes.
"It's- It's- " he hesitated. "It's everything. It's a way of communicating, it's taking care of other people, it's beautiful and complex..."
"And you love it," you concluded.
"I do. Yeah," Carmy ended with a heavy sigh.
"Wait here," you said, handing him your mug, padding to your bedroom and coming back with a coffee table book. "Here," you exchanged your mug for the hardcover and sat on the counter.
Carmy took it and looked at it carefully. It was a book on fine dining - pages and pages of beautifully plated dishes from different restaurants in Europe.
"This is so cool," he flipped through the pages. "I worked here," he said, beaming.
"Did you learn how to make that dish?" you asked.
"Yeah, must have the recipe somewhere... Thanks for showing me this," he said after a while, taking the book and handing it back to you.
You shook your head. "That's yours."
"I can't take it," Carmy refused.
"Yes, you can," you insisted. "A friend gave it to me as a house warming present and I never even opened it. You would be doing me a favor," when you saw Carmy was about to argue some more you doubled down. "Do I look like I need more books in here?"
He chuckled and shook his head, placing the book on the table, giving in.
He walked towards you. "Thanks. I mean it."
"You're very welcome," you said earnestly when he leaned in to kiss you.
Carmy nuzzled the side of your face, then down your neck.
"You smell amazing," he said softly. "Coconut."
"That's my conditioner," you smiled and held him closer.
"Lavender, rosemary," he mumbled into your collarbone.
"My body wash."
He already had you gasping for breath as he kept kissing you, standing between your legs, pulling you closer by the bend of the knee. He ran his tattooed hands up and down your thighs, his finger tips still a little cold.
"Can I taste you?"
"Yes. Please."
Carmy knelt before you, something dark and hungry coming to life in your belly as he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter. He opened up your robe and found you bare. Then, he started peppering kisses up and down the insides of your thighs, kneading your ass in his hands, getting you flustered without even touching your cunt.
"Let me know when it's good, alright? Like last time," Carmy said against the skin of your thigh, you could feel his face warming up.
"Yeah. Though you're already doing better than my last two boyfriends, Carm," you said lightly, caressing his hair.
He chuckled against your skin and the whisper of air between your legs made you shiver.
The tip of his tongue caressed your folds, gently, teasing. You hummed softly, closing your eyes. Then, he flattened his tongue, going up your cunt several times, faster and faster, lapping at your entrance, getting a taste of your arousal and humming in response.
"Shit," you managed.
"Mhmm?" he checked in, not letting go of you.
"Yes," you moaned louder. "It's good."
He kissed his way up your clit, rubbing his nose on it before he started licking at it diligently.
"Suck on it, please. Oh, fuck. Fuck," you arched your back. "Can you- Shit, Carmy- Can you put your fingers inside me?" you pleaded.
He let go for a moment, his mouth and your arousal making a lewd sound as he parted. His middle finger traced around your cunt, gathering wetness before going inside you in one swift thrust.
"Yes. Perfect."
"Another?" you looked into Carmy's eyes, he was flushed and giddy.
You nodded and his index finger joined the middle, a smirk curving his wet lips when he made you moan with a simple curl of his fingers.
"You're a menace," you teased and he laughed.
"Keep looking at me," he said, going back between your legs, eyes on you as he continued sucking your clit.
"Fuck, that feels good," you were breathing hard, fingers tugging on Carmy's curls, your bathrobe completely undone. He moaned hard when your pussy clenched on his fingers, the vibration making you shiver with pleasure.
"You're making me feel so good, Carmy," you praised breathlessly, one of your hands squeezing your breast unconsciously. "I'm close." He arched an eyebrow, questioning. "A little faster. Fuck me with your fingers."
He started pumping his fingers in and out of you, fast, while his lips sucked on your clit frantically, wet noises turning you on even more.
"Just like that, just like that," you moaned. "Keep going, please, please, please..."
You kept looking at him, seeing his eyes shut in pleasure when you fluttered around his knuckles. Your orgasm hit you hard and had you screaming and thrusting against his face before you could stop - his strong arms kept you in place.
"Oh, my God," you keened as he kept going, prolonging your orgasm until it was almost too much to bear, senseless praise flowing freely from your lips. "You're so fucking good, Carm. Make me feel so good."
Everything was warm, white and fuzzy.
Carmy stopped his movements abruptly. You felt him groan needily against your cunt, turning his face to bite on the flesh of your thigh. Looking down, you realized he was palming his cock over his slacks. He had come to the sound and the taste of you.
You tugged on his hair to get him up on his feet and kiss him. His lips were red and swollen, and his tongue tasted like you. When you parted, you saw a satisfied and sedated look on his face.
"Never had a guy do that."
"Eat you out?" he asked, disoriented. His hair was a fucking mess.
You ran your hands through his curls lovingly. "No. Make me cum that hard. Enjoy eating me out that much."
"It was hard not to," Carmy replied. "The fucking sounds you make..."
You hid your face in his shoulder, cheeks burning red.
"I'll try to be quiet next time."
"Please don't," he rasped, tilting your head to kiss you hard.
~
[Part 2]
#i was planning this as a one shot but we're way past the 6k mark like... maybe dividing the thing is better for your sanity and mine?#NEW MOODBOARD YAY!#i LOVED the new season btw - i've been insane for weeks#ANYWAY here's wonderwall let me know what you guys think 💜#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto fanfiction#carmy berzatto fanfiction#carmy berzatto smut#carmy x you#carmy berzatto x you#carmen berzatto smut
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MEET ME IN MONTE CARLO. — jake sim. (teaser)
SYNOPSIS. As a Formula 1 driver, being competitive is just in Ferrari driver Jake Sim's blood. Perhaps Jake cares about winning too much though, because during his conquest for the world title, he loses you. It isn't until 2 years later when you show up at the Monaco Grand Prix with his main rival, Red Bull driver Park Sunghoon, when Jake finds himself determined to not only fight for the championship, but also to fight for you.
GENRE. fluff, angst, exes to enemies (one-sided ish) to lovers
PAIRING. formula 1 driver! jake x fem! reader
WARNINGS. none in the teaser. in the fic, cursing, mentions of car crashes and accidents
ESTIMATED RELEASE DATE. late march, early april
WORD COUNT. 20k ish, teaser is 883 words
AUTHOR'S NOTE. well... this will be my second to last fic for the meantime! i'm excited to drop this one. i've been working on it for quite a while now. here's a formula 1 fic starring our very own jake sim :) i hope you enjoy this little teaser, and the taglist is open so just pop in an ask if you'd like to be tagged when i post this <3
TAGLIST IS OPEN, send in an ask if you’d like to be added!
You were the first person that Jake Sim ever loved. You were there at his first Formula 1 race, you were there at his first race win, and you were there for his first world title win. A series of firsts.
But, Jake Sim has first breakup on the list as well.
He always regrets how things ended between you two – it was messy, it was awful, and it left him crying at 3 in the morning in his apartment.
Jake isn’t certain about many things in his life. But what Jake is 100% certain of, is that the breakup was all his fault.
You had screamed at him, and he knew that he deserved it. You were slowly slipping away from his grasp, and Jake allowed that to happen as he chased another world title so desperately. So desperately to the point that he would end up neglecting you.
Forgotten dates, forgotten anniversaries, and forgotten birthdays. Text messages would be left unread for days when he was in some other unfamiliar city, as you walked to your lectures with a heavy heart and the stream of his race playing in the back of your phone as you waited for a response. You wore red every time he had a race, for Ferrari, for him, even as your relationship was crumbling.
“I’m sorry,” he had choked out. “It is difficult.”
You looked at him with bloodshot eyes and shaking fists. “It is. And you’re chasing your dreams, but… I can’t be with you if it’s like this. The past few months have been like we weren’t even dating in the first place.”
Jake gulps. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“I want to try,” you had said with an exasperated sigh, and Jake knows that you’re tired. He’s going at maximum speed, and you’re left trailing behind him. He’s so far ahead, and you know you’ve lost all hope of catching up. But you say those words anyway. “Please tell me you’ll try.”
Jake doesn’t say a word. Because he knows that he won’t be able to. He wants to say yes, so badly. He wants to hug you, he wants to kiss you, and he wants to commit. Just as he commits to his races, to the championship, to Ferrari.
But he can’t. Not a single word leaves his lips, and his silence is enough of an answer for you. “Oh,” you say, and Jake doesn’t miss the way your voice quivers, and your lower lip trembles. You’re dressed in red, Ferrari’s colour – his colour. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry.” he told you.
“It’s important to you.” you pressed your lips together in a thin line. “I understand.”
You say that, but Jake knows that you don’t. He knows nobody would ever be able to understand choosing to win over choosing someone you love. But Jake is committed to racing. He is committed to win.
Yet, he’s not committed to you. The one who’s been with him through thick and thin, the one who’d catch red-eye flights to find him in some unfamiliar city to watch him win, the one who’d go through hell and back for him if it meant that he’d be happy.
He can’t do the same for you, and he hates that.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, and you simply shook your head. You don’t have anything more to say to him, so you quietly pack your things. “I’m sorry.”
Before you opened the door to leave, you took one last look at Jake. “I hope you figure out whatever’s going on in your life.” You don’t say anything more, and that is the last time Jake Sim ever sees you again.
He doesn’t know what you’re doing either, because you’d deleted your Instagram account, starting a new one where none of his fans could keep up to date with you. The only way he knows how you’re doing is updates from Heeseung's girlfriend Yoona, who goes on trips with you often. He sees his fans constantly wondering if you’re doing well, and Jake finds it funny how he’s got the same exact question.
He drowns himself further in training, in racing, in wanting to become the best after the split. He wins, he wins, and he wins again – and that feeling of euphoria when he stands on the podium never leaves. It fills him with a joy like no other, and it reminds Jake why he does this. He wants to win. He wants to be the best – no, he is the best.
Winning means the world to Jake Sim. Racing is in his blood – he does it to hear the crowds scream his name, he does it to lift that trophy on the top step of the podium, and he does it to feel the overwhelming pride in his chest when he crosses that chequered flag first.
But he’s been so focused on winning, and he’s lost his everything.
His everything is the girl who went to his first race. His everything is the girl who would tire herself by studying during the day, and catching long flights to the cities where he’d race in to support him.
And his everything had left him 2 years ago in his apartment in Monte Carlo, Monaco, with teary eyes and a red dress.
#enhanet#kflixnet#k-labels#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#enhypen scenarios#enhypen au#enhypen fluff#enhypen angst#enhypen x reader#jake oneshots#jake imagines#jake au#jake fluff#jake scenarios#jake angst#jake x reader#jaeyun imagines#jaeyun oneshots#jaeyun scenarios#jaeyun au#jaeyun fluff#jaeyun angst#jaeyun x reader
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apartment 315 (part 2) 18+
summary: after living in your apartment for a few months, you and logan start to feel more and more like distant strangers across the hall. that’s until you take another guy home, and logan doesn’t know how to act. word count: 4.0k pairing: modern!Logan Howlett x fem!reader warnings: angst, smut, jealousy, not so nice name calling tags: fighting, jealous!Logan, modern au, top!Logan, fighting, jealous!Logan, public sex, fingering, dirty talk, dom!Logan, teasing, edging, enemies-ish to lovers, soft logan and laura, happy ending part 1
Logan always chose the cheapest and shittiest beer. The beer that would not have an effect on him. A beer that was barely worth anything. You noticed that Logan would appear in your bar more frequently during your shifts. As if he was watching over you. Like a guardian angel of some sort. It was comforting knowing he was there.
But one particular Friday night, you were not there.
Instead, you had been put on a blind date set-up by your friend Darcy. One of her co-workers was apparently your type. As if you had a type. You had just gotten divorced almost a year ago. You didn't want to agree, you were hesitant at first, but Darcy insisted it was just to get you out of your humble abode. And Logan didn't know why you weren't there. And her certainly would not have guessed you were on a date with someone else.
“Please?” Darcy was practically begging over the phone. It was now the beginning of December, and the snow still had not appeared. You were walking up the stairs to your apartment, slightly out of breath. The elevator had still not been fixed, and you had to walk up three flights of stairs everyday. The phone was on your shoulder, tucked under your ear and you reached the third floor beginning to search for your keys in your purse. You stopped looking to answer Darcy.
“Fine…” Darcy squeaked over the phone and you could imagine her doing a dance at that moment. Your brain flashed back to Logan briefly, remembering what you said to him in the alley. You tried to forget it but every time you saw him at the bar, your heart beat a little faster.
You had not uttered a word about what had happened between the two of you. To Lee or to Darcy. Not a single soul knew. Truly what you had said to him. You were embarrassed. And you really needed an excuse for an expensive glass of wine. You thought maybe you had gotten to Logan. Maybe he'd finally make a move. Maybe the tension would disappear. But he still remained that same distant neighbor. You still felt like strangers.
“I'll call you later tonight, Darcy. Lee wanted to binge watch some show-”
You both said your goodbyes before you hung up the phone with a large sigh, leaning your forehead against the door. You really did not want to go on a double date. A blind date at that. But you really needed to leave your home. You needed a break. You had just gotten off an awful shift at the bar, hoping something would-
“You okay?” You turned around sharply to find Logan edging his way up the stairs, staring at you with concern, his eyebrows slightly bunched together. You nodded, putting your fingers between your forehead and closing your eyes.
“I just really need a drink,” You said, opening your eyes to find Logan still staring at you. You bit your lip, thinking for a moment. Only for a second before the words came tumbling out of your mouth. “Do you wanna come inside?” An open invitation. And Logan accepted.
You hurriedly rushed to clean off your kitchen counter of dirty dishes and magazines, muttering under your breath. Logan had his hands in his jacket pockets, looking around your apartment. He took note of how there was an unopened box in the back of the living room. It was fairly clean but a little messy in some parts. You moved around the kitchen before you pulled out two bottles of beer from your fridge.
“Uh, go ahead and sit on the couch.” You pointed with your head at the couch at the end of the apartment and Logan silently moved towards it. His eye caught on that unopened box again as he sat down. You handed him the beer, hoping he wouldn't bring it up. But to your dismay, he did.
“What’s in the box?” You smirked, taking a long swig from the beer, the slick feeling of its coolness running down your throat.
“Body parts,” You answered, and Logan smiled, his eyes narrowing at you. “You're a boxer, right?” Logan paused.
“Was. I was a boxer.”
“Who says you aren't anymore?”
“I do.”
“Well I say you still are one. Look at your hands. What makes you think you aren't one?”
“What's really in the box?”
“Touche.” You stood after a moment, letting out a huff. You turned around grabbing the small box, setting it on the table in front of the couch. The box’s writing was now on display reading “Shit asshole didn't want!”. You slowly opened the box, peering inside to find only three things: a wedding ring, a photo album and an oversized t-shirt. You took the three things out of the box, setting them down next to it. It was quiet again, and Logan took a long sip from his beer before speaking up.
“There’s a boxing ring downtown…I used to make money off of it. Think of it as gambling. I was the boxer. The Wolverine. It felt illegal even though it wasn’t. And then one night…I lost, breaking my shoulder blade. I’ve been trying to get back into it but with Laura around- it’s difficult.” He took another long swig and moved towards the fireplace on the other end of the room, turning it on before moving to sit back next to Logan, closer than before.
“I was going to be a professional dancer. A ballerina. It was my first love really. And then I met…” You paused, staring at the fire, anger rising within you for a moment. You calmed yourself, breathing in a deep breath, turning towards Logan. “His name was Ben. He didn’t want me to be a dancer so… I quit. I became some lousy bartender down the street from our cheap apartment-“
“You’re not lousy.” You smiled, a crinkle in your eye.
“Thanks but…I didn’t follow my dream. I followed a man. That’s what made me lousy. Anyway!” You stood abruptly, picking up the things from outside the box and standing next to the fire.
“This was my favorite oversized t-shirt…” You stood over the flames, throwing it in the fire, watching the remnants of the cotton turn to soot and ash. You grabbed the photo album next flipping through the empty pages, landing on a photo of you and Ben.
“He didn't want this photo because it was the only one that had just the two of us…” You ripped it out of the album before tearing it to pieces and throwing it in the fire along with the shirt. You watched them burn for a moment, before grabbing the wedding ring, the one you had given him.
“And this was his wedding ring…it wasn't cheap but…” And you threw the ring in the fire, watching all of your lost memories with your ex-husband fade along with those three reminders. You turned around, clearing your throat and Logan was staring at you just like he was at the halloween party. Just like he was behind the alley.
“Whatever he did…he was a stupid fuck.” Logan had a different sound in his voice when he said that, it was deeper than when he normally spoke. You hummed, sitting back down next to him.
“He was a really stupid fuck.” You laughed, leaning to pick up your beer. You took a long swig, feeling Logan watching you from the corner of your eye. You turned towards him, fully facing him as you crossed your legs on the couch.
“Where’s Laura tonight?” You asked, taking another sip from your beer, it now begins to slowly empty itself. Logan grimaced slightly, shaking his head.
“She's with Mrs. Baker…she wanted to knit with Laura.” He sounded upset when he said it and all you could do was let out a laugh, covering your mouth quickly when it escaped you.
“Laura knitting? Wow, I can imagine her having so much fun right now.” You said sarcastically, laughing after your sentence. Logan smiled. He actually smiled. His eyes crinkled slightly, the lines across his forehead smashing together. For what felt like the first time you’d seen him grin at you. And it made you ecstatic. You felt accomplished. Someone else besides Laura had finally gotten the grump across the hall to smile. And it was genuine. Not the snarky ones he had given you before. But it was a truly happy smile.
”Yeah she’s…different,” He said, still smiling whilst bringing the bottle to his lips. “You guys are similar.”
You leaned towards him. “How so?”
“You’re both just…different from everyone else.” Now it was your turn to smile.
“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Logan scoffed, taking another sip from the beer.
“Doubt it.”
“I bet you can’t give me another good compliment.” He hid another smile behind his bottle. And then his smile was gone, another look appearing in his eyes as he set the now empty beer bottle on the table. And damn you wished you could make him smile again. Maybe get a chuckle or a small laugh. But no. The look you got now was not a smile or a cocky grin, it was serious and hard. Like he was staring into your mind and soul. Staring right into you.
“Well for one you are…attractive.” He paused before saying the last word, averting his eyes from yours. His cheeks turned a light shade of pink, and if the fire didn't glow so bright you might not have caught it.
“And what does that mean?” You leaned closer to him, tilting your head to the side. He glanced down, looking at your lips. And then he moved even closer to you. It was as if a flip switched inside of him.
“I like your hair…” He reached his hand to touch your hair, moving away a piece that had fallen in front of your eyes. You watched him as his warm hand paused right before touching your face. His fingertips slowly panned down your face. “Your eyes…” His hand traced your face delicately, stopping right before your chin. “Your lips…” He reached your chin, holding it in his hand, grazing your lips softly with his thumb. His thumb pulled open your lips, your mouth parted slightly. You held your breath, waiting for his next move.
His hand left your face, encasing your neck, grazing the exposed skin.
“Your neck,” He wanted to kiss the skin, leaving marks in the place of his lips. His hand trailed again, now on your shoulder. “Your shoulders.” His hand was laying on your shoulder, and you scooted towards him but he abruptly pulled away, flexing his hand when it reached his side. Your eyebrows creased, and you reached towards him, your hand about to land on his cheek but he pulled away fast. So fast that you almost fell on top of him, but he couldn't look at you.
“What-”
“I should go.” Logan stood abruptly, almost flushed, as he made his way to the door. You sat there stunned for a moment, staring ahead of you as the door opened. Logan was standing there, waiting for you to say something. Anything. But you didn't. You sat there, silent. The door slammed shut moments later, the only sound that was heard was the crackling of fire.
That Friday night, you arrived at the restaurant thirty minutes before the time Darcy had instructed you. You wore a short black dress, one you haven't worn in years since before you were married. One you wanted Logan to rip off- No. You were here on a date with another man. Not to have thoughts of your neighbor.
You were the first one there, so you sat at the table, anxiously tapping your foot on the ground whilst sipping on a glass of water. It was now five minutes before the time and you were starting to think you got the wrong time. Maybe you-
Someone called your name from behind you.
“Hi Uh, I’m Charles.” He stuck his hand forward, and you stared at it for a moment before smiling and gripping his sweaty palm. You introduced yourself, inviting him to sit down in front of you. Your phone went off, and you picked it up staring at the text Darcy had sent you: sorry we can’t make it! have fun! ;)
You angrily shut off your phone, taking a large gulp of water. Of course it was a set up.
“Is something wrong?” Charles asked and you choked on your water slightly, still mid sip. You eventually swallowed the water, nodding your head.
“Yeah everythings perfect. Darcy just texted me that she couldn't make it.” Charles smiled lightly, looking into his lap.
“Yes, well that is not a surprise.” He laughed, and it was awkwardly silent before you asked him a question.
“So um, you work with Darcy?” He nodded, the waiter arriving with two glasses of red wine, setting them in front of you both.
“Yes.” He responded, and you waited for him to say something else but he sat there quietly sipping on his wine. This guy is a talker…
The rest of the night went on like that. You ask him a question and he'd give you a short one word answer. It was exhausting. But, damn, he was attractive. But he wasn't Logan. He wasn't the man across the hall. The man that had voluntarily touched your face. The man that you had wanted to want you back. But, he wouldn't do it. And that made you angry. So angry that you had brought this mysterious man back to your apartment after your date. You pulled him up the stairwell, your hand in his. Your black dress rode up your thighs as you went up but you didn't care. You didn't give a damn. You didn't give a single fuck. Because this man wanted you. And that's all the permission you needed. For someone to finally want you back.
His hand trailed down to your ass, squeezing gently and you couldn't help but think of Logan. Wishing it was him instead. You reached your door, fumbling with the keys in your hand. You were nervous. The keys fell to the ground, and Charles bent to pick them up, rising in front of your face. He twirled them in his hand, before his mouth landed on yours quickly. You gasped as his lips met yours, not reciprocating the kiss at first. And then it dawned on you. Why did you care? In a second, your hands were running through his hair, tugging it harshly and he groaned when you did it. He pushed you against the door, his lips trailing down your neck. Your eyes were closed, your mouth agape. When your eyes opened, they met the gaze of someone across the hall.
They met the gaze of Logan. Logan was stationed on the stairwell, his hand gripping the handrail so hard you could see the blood from his knuckles already seeping through the loose bandages that covered his hands. He stared into your eyes, not even daring to look away from you. He was breathing heavily, his chest heaving with every moment Charles lips trailed lower and lower.
He watched as his hands trailed down your thighs and under your dress. He watched it, not uttering a single word. And then he looked hurt; disappointed. He shook his head, slowly dragging his feet as he walked towards his apartment. The door opened quietly, and Logan stopped for a moment before he entered slamming the door loudly on his way in.
The sound of the door slamming startled Charles and he jumped away from you, breathing heavily.
“Sorry I-” He began to say, but you cut him off. You didn't want this. You didn't want him.
“You're a sloppy kisser,” You deadpanned, turning to open your door with your keys. You opened the door, pausing to say one more thing.
“And you're boring.” The door slammed shut.
That same night, you lay in bed in only an oversized tee tossing and turning. You couldn't sleep. You rose from your bed, still only in your underwear. You sagged yourself outside your door, leading to Lee’s apartment. Just before you knocked on her door, you stopped yourself. What were you doing? It was two in the morning. Lee most likely was not asleep but you didn't want to wake her. You didn't want to bother her with your troubles.
You sighed, running your hands through your hair before turning around. Logan was in the middle of closing his door, and he stopped only staring at you. Only staring at you, solely in your underwear. Staring at your exposed legs. And then he looked away, almost as if he was remembering something. Remembering past events. A dark look overtook his eyes when he glanced back at you and you fought the urge to clench your legs together.
Logan had not been able to sleep either. He sat on his couch waiting…waiting for your door to open. Because Logan knew exactly what sound your door made every time you opened it.
“Have fun?” Logan grumbled, setting a trash bag outside of his door. You scoffed, pulling your shirt down to your knees. You tried to at least cover your thighs, but the shirt just bunched up reaching the ends of your inner thigh.
“You know what Logan,” You looked at the ground. “You’re such a fucking hypocrite.” Your eyes raised to meet his.
“Excuse me?”
“I said you’re a fucking hypocrite!” You stepped towards him, away from Lee’s door. He shook his head, his lip curling upwards.
“And you’re a slut. What's worse?” He turned towards his door, opening it but you shot forwards, your bare feet padding across the ground. You slammed Logan’s door shut with your back before he could enter, and he backed away, a long sigh escaping through his nose.
“Fuck you. You don't get to call me that. That is not fair.” Your finger pointed at his face, almost touching his mouth. His lips parted, as if thinking about his next words carefully.
“Well you did fuck a guy you just met.” Logan inched towards you, his face now hovering over yours.
“I didn't sleep with him! Jesus- what is your-” Logan bounded forward, bringing your head towards his, his lips meeting yours in a furious kiss. At first you crinkled up below him, not prepared for that. But then you melted into his hands, as he kept kissing you, his hands placed firmly between your two cheeks. You kissed him back just as hard, if not harder than he expected. He enjoyed tasting you for the first time. He wanted to relish in it. He wanted to feel you for the rest of his life.
Your back hit the door of his apartment, Logan’s hands traveling lower to grip at your shirt, lightly lifting it above your stomach. His hand encased across your stomach, tracing it lightly with his rough fingers. You pulled away from him, hitting the back of your head on the door again.
“I'm sorry I-” You were breathing through your mouth, trying to calm your heartbeat.
“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up.” Logan growled deeply, and you felt your heart quicken as he put his hands between your head, diving in for another kiss. And you accepted. His hand trailed down your stomach again, this time not stopping. He paused right before the top of your underwear, almost uncertain. He played with the panty lines, almost tugging them off of you. But you ripped your lips away from his.
“What are you-” Logan’s fingers went under your underwear, and you let out a gasp as his fingered glazed over your core, and you jutted your hips forward, a gasp leaving your lips.
“I’m taking what is mine. Isn't that what you wanted?” His fingers, his calloused and large fingers slowly inserted themselves into you. You were wet. You were surprised at how aroused you had gotten by the previous argument. How much making him angry turned you on. Logan’s fingers curled inside you, and it took everything in you to not buckle beneath him.
“Fuck-” You moaned and Logan pumped in again before you gripped his shoulders with both of your hands, squeezing tightly, your head falling on the door again.
“Quiet…” He whispered, starting to pump in and out of you at a faster pace. His other hand trailed down your stomach, reaching your thighs. Your beautiful thighs. He squeezed one, running his thumb across the space of your exposed skin, his fingers pausing inside you.
“I wanted to kill him,” Your mouth opened in a silent plea as he stopped pumping inside you, a groan leaving his lips. “For touching you, touching what's mine.” A quiet moan left your lips, so soft like music to Logan’s ears. “And that dress…I wish I had gotten the chance to rip it off of you.” He wanted to watch it drop to the floor, he wanted to not just rip, but tear, that dress off of you. Because you were his, and only his. He began pumping inside of you again, more vigorously now and all you could do was try not to crumble against the door.
“Please,” Your mouth opened again, a loud moan releasing itself from you and Logan’s hand that had been on your thigh reached up and cupped itself over your mouth. You breathed out heavily, that familiar feeling building up inside of you. “Please, Logan.”
“You have to be quiet.” He reprimanded, and your legs were starting to feel like jello now. You were so close, Logan’s eyes were only on you as he kept pumping his fingers in and out. His pace fastened, and your breathing was getting heavier and your hands now gripped the one covering your mouth. A muffled moan escaped from you, and your eyes closed slightly as you chased your high, about to-.
And then Logan stopped, his fingers leaving from inside of you and your eyes opened to see him smirking at you.
“What the fuck?” You asked, your mouth open in shock. Only a few seconds longer and you would have released all over his hand. In front of his apartment. In the hallway of your building. Your cheeks got red, and you touch them with your hands. There had to be cameras, right?
“Oh my god we're gonna get arrested for-” Logan laughed, shaking his head.
“Were not going to get arrested,” And then he looked you up and down, almost instantly noticing your uncomfortable stance. “Here.”
He took his coat off, putting it around your shoulders, reaching behind you. And then he pulled you into a long hug, after the coat had been sat on your shoulders. You looked so small and frail, but your eyes still had a euphoric gloss in them. It took everything in Logan not to take you right then and there. Because truly he didnt care where it was that he fucked you. He just needed you.
But instead he kissed the top of your head and you sighed, wrapping your arms around him as well. It was comfortable standing like that. It wasn't awkward. Just comfortable. He then picked you up bridal style and you gasped laughing as he did, opening the door of his apartment. You looked over at the apartment in front of you, right before you entered, reading the numbers three-fifteen. You wondered what would have happened if you picked a different apartment complex. If you didn't go on that atrocious date.
So before you went to bed that night, Logan asleep next to you, you silently thanked apartment 315.
a/n: wow I was NOT expecting people to actually read the first part omg. I really appreciate everyone’s comments! I wrote this during my work breaks lmfao. I wanted to get it out asap. Thank you so much for reading! This is my first time ever writing smut so I’m not too sure how good I did but we’ll see… until next time you horny fucks! Also they did NOT freak… i couldn't stop thinking about Laura being next door to that so… lol
taglist: @needz1nk, @likeficsinthewnd
cross-posted on ao3:
#logan howlet smut#logan smut#logan howlett#logan x reader#logan wolverine#wolverine smut#logan xmen#logan x you#logan howlet x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#marvel smut
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스트레이기즈
s.CB, h.HJ, h.JS, l.YB 𖹭 gn!reader
my enemy.
synopsis: they eventually give in after years of hatred, rivalry, and built-up tension only to get caught by another member.
content: changbin, hyunjin, han, felix (seperate) 𖹭 reader, enemies, suggestive/nsfw/18+ (minors do not interact), idk what this is honestly, poor attempt at comedy, reader has gender neutral pronouns and no specified genitalia, gentle brat tamer!cb x brat!reader, mean dom!hj, switch!felix x switch!reader, subby!han x mean-ish dom!reader, bondage, unprotected sex (cb), big dick | blowjob | dubcon penetration | photography (hj), implied feelings | doggy style | penetration (felix), lots of teasing and some pet names in all of them, swearing, not proofread, lowercase intended.
zuzu's note: part 2!!! hope u enjoy. part 1 here.
main masterlist.
binnie.
"you need to learn your place," changbin spoke softly, his tone dripping with condescension. he had chased you around his room for quite some time before he finally caught you, and with a swift and experienced motion, he grabbed your wrists and skillfully bound them together behind your back with a length of silk rope. his grip was firm, yet gentle, as he tied the bindings tight against your skin.
what could you have possibly done to make the kind and lovable seo changbin hate you? you were a brat, a nuisance who pushed his buttons and tested his patience. he tried to be patient with you for months, but your bratty behavior was too much to handle. and worst of all, you sent him mixed signals. half of 'i am a brat because i have a crush on you' and the other half being 'i am a brat because i hate you.' years passed and changbin had finally had enough, he decided it was time to do something about it.
with a swift and powerful motion, changbin easily picked you up off the floor, walked to his room, and tossed your form onto his bed, not missing a beat as he quickly locked the door behind him. he looked down at you with a stern expression, his tone firm as he spoke.
"you can't just go around doing what you do." he scolded softly.
you looked up at him, feigning innocence. "doing what i do?" you repeated his words, genuienly confused. "y'know, changbin, if you want me to come up with a great comeback you're gonna hafta give me some details—" your words were cut short when changbin stuffed a piece of fabric in your mouth.
changbin looked at you directly, his gaze intense and focused. "let me do the talking," he said firmly. "i need to know if you want to fuck me or not." he held your gaze as he waited for your response. "so, just nod if you do." he continued, his voice steady. "and shake your head no if you don't." he wasn't afraid of the consequences of his actions. it was you sending mixed signals, and he wanted to clear the tension by being direct.
he watched. struggling to keep the smile off of his face as he watched you nod your head, eyes staring directly into his. finally. for once, you were easy to talk to.
"okay... may i take you... here, now?" changbin sat on the bed next to you and removed the fabric from your mouth.
"...yes... you may." you said, breathy.
"but i wanna be able to use these ties, is that okay?" he asked. "to be able to do that, you'll have to get naked."
"yes, fine, please, whatever! just- just take me." you shook around, trying to free yourself from the restrains so you could undress yourself.
"don't get too excited." changbin reached for the hem of your baggy shirt and pulled it over your head, revealing your exposed chest — he wanted to roam his hands all over your body so badly but he had to be patient. he pushed you against the bed so you laid down on your arms. he steadily, cautiously, painfully slowly pulled your shorts and underwear down. finally taking the remainders of the silk rope on your wrists and he tied them expertly around your thighs, keeping them spread.
you watched all but in silence, giving bratty, annoying commentary about how he was taking his sweet time, but he was patient once more because he knew he would be able to fuck you in silence. but you're not very quiet in bed to no one's surprise.
finally, when he was done, he stood up and observed his masterpiece, you, spread all perfect for him — you looked at him in silence, expression defeated by how he took his sweet time and you were still horny. finally, changbin climbed onto the bed, hed in between your legs and he collected his saliva before spitting onto your hole. fitting his middle finger inside, you squeezed tightly around him and let out a soft mewl.
"ah, come on, do you have to be such a tease~?" you whined out. you couldn't move much so your only weapon was your words
"yes, yes i do." changbin curled his finger in your hole right where you wanted it and your entire body jolted at the sensation.
"f-fuck, just take me now. don't wait. i can't take it anymore!" you shuffled around his bed, almost crying.
"beg for it." changbin watched your desperate form freeze at his words.
"what? this isn't a porno, quit making me do shit and just fuck me already—"
"beg. for. it." he stood up and pulled out something from his drawer. "i got a vibrator here and i could edge you all night if you're not up for begging,"
"f-fuck. fuck you. fuck." you closed your eyes and sighed deeply. "please. please, changbin, fuck me. i want your cock in me so bad, please... i'm begging." you whined, tears forming on your eyes.
"good job." changbin placed down the vibrator on the table and climbed over you, one hand stroking the side of your hair and his thumb grazing over your cheek. "don't cry. s'beautiful." he whispered. unzipping his pants and pulling out his hard, fat cock, pushing it against your entrance that begged for him to come inside.
"ahh, please..!" you whined. your legs were already sore from the restraints and you just wanted his cock to fill you up so good. "seo changbin!" you yelled. finally, he pushed his dick inside without a warning, erupting a yelp from your throat.
"fuck..." changbin hissed. hips unmoving as he let you adjust to the pain. "fuck, are you okay?" he asked, looking into your eyes and you nod, lips parted and unable to speak.
"better than okay. keep going..." you took deep, ragged breaths, squeezing tightly around changbin's thick cock as he began to thrust into you with an unrelenting pace — he was so much faster than you ever would have expected him to be. (not that you ever imagined having sex with him.) "ahh, changbin! keep going~" you moaned out, your voice high and desperate as he thrust into you faster and faster, the bed creaking beneath the force of his movements. the sound of you being pounded filled the room, mingling with your pleas for him to continue.
the noise of your moans and changbin's thrusting filled the room, effectively covering up the sound of keys jingling and the door slamming open. however, the moment was quickly ruined by a high-pitched scream that didn't come from either of you.
han stood frozen in the doorway, his mouth and eyes wide with shock as he took in the surreal scene before him. "OH MY FUCKING JEEBUS," he yelled, too traumatized to even flinch. he began crying and quickly barged out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. "I'M SO FUCKING SORRY, I'M SO SORRY." he sobbed. you weren't sure if he was apologizing to you guys for barging in or apologizing to himself for ever coming inside unwelcomed.
jinnie.
"hyunjin, i swear on my unborn dead great grandchild's grave. delete that photo right now." you chased hyunjin around the living dorm room as he cackled like a maniac. "hyunjin, i'm fucking serious! someone might walk in! don't be such a dickhead."
"oh, but throughout our relationship when was i not a dickhead?" he stopped running and held the phone farther out of your reach when you attempted to grab it. "y'know, i'm starting to think you wanted me to see this."
he held his phone tightly in front of your face, revealing the nude mirror selfie you took a few minutes ago and accidentally shared to him. in a panic, you accidentally unsent the photo 'for you' rather than 'for everyone' causing you to quickly cover up in a robe, run to his room in hopes that he was asleep so you could delete it before he saw anything, only to lead to this very moment.
"why on earth would i want you to see that?! delete it! " you whined and grabbed his phone but he pulled it away from your grip, his eyes flickering down to your exposed chest in your loosened robe.
"come on, y/n, stop playing hard to get." he held your chin and put his forehead against yours. you pushed him away and scoffed.
"fucking forget it. asshole." you grumbled and walked away.
"you sure?" hyunjin called out to you. "i know a way you can get me to delete it."
you froze in your step and slowly turned around, eyes meeting his across the room. of course he knows a way. it's hyunjin. you let out a small sigh and crossed your arms over your chest.
"...fine. what is it?"
hyunjin shrugged. "deal with the problem your pic caused," he set the phone aside plopped himself down on the couch, legs spread wide.
you wanted to scoff and tell him to fuck off but you thought this could be an opportunity an eye for an eye, or in this case, a nude pic for a nude pic — so, you walked over and sunk down on your knees. hands roaming his pyjama-clad thighs before ghosting over his erection. you smirked, looking up at him. "is this all just for my picture?"
"do you want it to be?"
"ugh, you're impossible."
"i technically can't be 'impossible' because i exist, the term you're looking for is that i'm 'improbable'—" his retort cut off short when you squeezed his cock through the thin fabric before kissing it softly.
"blah blah blah. you're hard for me." you looked up at him before slowly pulling his pants down along with his underwear. your breath hitching in your throat as you catch sight of his large, long, and pretty penis — fuck, you're starting to just wanna suck him off but you can't let your plan go to waste.
hyunjin looks down at you, brows a bit furrowed and lips slightly parted as he takes in steady breaths. you take in the tip of his dick into your mouth and he lets out a soft moan, you bob your head a bit before pulling away, a string of saliva connecting the two of you together. "fuck." hyunjin mutters under his breath, throwing his head back, eyes closed.
"is it good?" you ask as you pump his length with one hand. the other reaching down for your own phone in the pocket of your robe.
"more." he whines.
you smirk as you turn on your camera and turn the flash off, your right hand pauses from jerking him and you stand up to take the perfect photo of his fucked out form on the couch, legs spread and dick exposed in all his glory. hyunjin looks at you and immediately runs to grab your phone. "hey! what do you think you're doing?" he grabbed both of your wrists, squeezing your left hand until you dropped your phone to the carpeted ground.
"taking your picture since you have mine." you winced at his grip but that didn't stop you from being a bitch.
"i already told you i'd delete yours if you just-"
"what? sucked you off? nah, i'd rather use your own picture against you." you chuckled in his face.
"but you already- why did you have to- ugh, you're so frustrating!" hyunjin tossed you on the couch and pinned you down, his large frame over yours. he uses one hand to undo your robe and he lines up his member with your entrance. it was all so fast but you didn't want to interject.
"you need to finish what you started, darling." hyunjin pushed his tip inside you.
"fuck, fuck-" you hissed out as he stretched your insides and you grabbed on tightly to his shoulders. "it hurts!" you cried out and hit his back, he immediately pulled out and looked at you.
"fuck, sorry, are you alright?"
"asshole, couldn't you prep me first? you know you're big." you grumbled
"ayyo what the fuck," a deep voice erupted from the doorway. your heads simultaneously snapped to felix. his eyes darted from your position, your exposed body through the undone robe, to hyunjin's hard dick. the sparkle in his eyes faded as they grew wider and wider. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"
hannie.
"stop making a fuss about everything! focus on a way to get out."
you didn't know how a private discussion with the hate of your life inside the storage room would lead to you both being trapped in it. you were convinced one of the members did so, but it was not funny.
"kick it down, asshole!" jisung stepped back, giving you space.
"you kick it down!" you yelled, almost offended that he even believed you had enough strength to kick the damn door down. "you have the years of training and working out for performances—"
"quit yapping about and just do something about it, i'm tired of sharing oxygen with you—" you slammed jisung against the wall, rendering him and yourself speechless. you didn't know what your next move was at this point, but when you saw the small tent forming on jisung's thin pyjama pants, you knew what your next move would be.
"you—"
"shut up." jisung darted his eyes away from yours, stepping closer to the door and repeatedly banging his hand against it. the loud, irritating noise filling the room. "guys! is anyone there? let us out!"
"stop it." you stepped closer to jisung, your form sandwiched his with the door on the other side. "you don't want them to hear what's gonna happen next, no?" you gently guided his body to turn around so he faced you before you got on your knees and slowly pulled his pants down, revealing his large hard-on squeezing past his black underwear.
you looked up to see jisung with no objections but still avoiding your gaze, so you slapped his bare thigh to garner his attention. "hey." you blankly called out for him. "look at me." without hesitation, he looked at you, his brows were furrowed and his eyes were watering a bit.
"fuck, can you just suck me off already?" his hands reached for your hair, pulling you toward his crotch, but you fought back, pushing yourself away from him with the help of the door behind him.
"don't be so eager, jisung—" you attempted, but he was too strong, one hand turned your head to face his dick and pushed your lips against him.
"shit," he hissed, throwing his head back. he began rocking his hips and pushing his clothed groin against your lips.
"jisung!" you yelled and slapped his thigh again, erupting a yelp from him, pausing his actions. "i told you not to be so eager."
jisung's knees fell weak and he slid down the door, sitting against it and covering his face in shame. "b-but i wanted it so bad—"
"well, you're gonna have to earn it." you got on your feet and stood, looking down at him.
"h-how?"
"make me cum."
jisung eagerly nodded and went on his knees, going straight for your crotch, but you grabbed him by his hair and pulled him back. "ah ah," you tutted. "don't be eager." slowly, you gently guided his head to your crotch. "slow and steady," you whispered and let out a breath of relief as you felt his warm breath against you.
slowly, you let go of his hair and pulled your shorts down — the scandalous sight of your enemy, han, on his knees for you, his warm breath against your skin, his erection still evident and aching against his underwear — all of it combined turned you on more than you thought it should.
you stepped backward so you had something to lean on while han pleasured you, instantly, your back met with the shelf and you hit it a little too hard — causing a stack of unopened canned paint to fall down and clatter against each other as they rolled across the floor, you and han slowly watched as it rolled from your side, all the way down to the door that was now open. your eyes went from the bare feet, slowly going up to the skinny form see hyunjin with his jaw dropped (you were surprised you didn't see it on the ground next to his feet.)
"BANG CHANNNNNN," hyunjin ran away from the ungodly sight.
"fuck." you cursed and pulled your shorts back up, running after hyunjin and leaving han on the floor. "HYUNJIN, WAIT, WHAT YOU SAW IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS." (what the fuck else could it be, y/n?)
lixie.
"c'mon, don't tell me you haven't imagined us making loveeee~" you purred, sauntering towards felix's bedside. you'd walked in on him mid-fanfiction, his phone glowing with the words of a steamy enemies-to-lovers scenario on ao3, his phone discarded and long forgotten on the floor. he flung it across the room when you walked in. funnily, he flung it in your direction. so, you picked it up and read enough to get the gist.
"don't tease, y/n. it's art, it's a- a novel—" felix tried to excuse his behaviour with a scoff and made a weak attempt to push you off of his bed, you remained seated.
"novel my ass. the literature published on ao3 are nothing but for self indulgence and the pleasures of dirty minds like yours."
"aren't most books?"
"come on, just say it. say you wanna fuck me." you giggled, poking his side teasingly. "say itttt~ ah!" you let out a pained yelp when your head bangs against the headboard and felix pins you down on his bed.
his face hovered inches above yours, his breath hot against your face. "is that so bad?" he growled, his voice dropping to a lower octave that sent shivers down your spine and straight to your core. you gulped, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
"oh shi, my bad bro, i didn't mean to trigger the demon within-" you attempt to laugh it off. but your heart raced in your chest as felix continued to pin you down with his gaze, his grip tightening around your wrists. "come on, i was just teasing, bro, let me go. i have work to do."
"come on, if you had time to come in here and tease me, you can take a few hours off work, no?" he purred, tilting his head closer to your face.
"quit joking, felix-"
"you're one to talk about joking," felix whispered, his lips brushing against your neck. you let out a breathy moan in response as he placed open-mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin.
"no, really," you gasped, threading your fingers through his hair to keep his head close. "you can't handle hours with me. you'll tap out first."
felix chuckled darkly, his hands roaming over your body. "wanna bet?" he asked, mouth against your neck, peppering kisses up until he finally connected your lips together, you moaned into his mouth and chased him as he pulled away.
"fine, let's bet then," you challenged, breaking free from his grip and reversing your positions. straddling his hips, you slowly lowered yourself onto him, grinding once, twice. his hands dug into your hips, and he buried his face in his pillow to muffle a deep groan. "what's wrong, baby boy? can't handle it anymore?" you teased. grinding again before taking your sweater off and tossing it aside.
"nah, come on, you can do better than that." felix laughed and pulled his pyjama pants down, revealing his plain black boxer shorts. you pushed his shirt up, exposing his chiseled abs, and you peppered them with kisses, pressing a soft kiss against the bulge in his underwear.
"do you think i could take you?" you tilted your head and pulled his underwear down, revealing his pretty erection. you began pumping him slowly, licking the precum off of his tip. you can feel him shiver under your touch and you smile sweetly. "can't take it anymore, honey?"
"you're being unfair." felix complained, sitting up and turning you around to put you on all fours. he pushed the small of your back down, forcing you to arch, and then expertly pulled your pants and underwear down in one swift motion. you decided to let him have his way and see what he could do to please you.
"shut. the. front. door." hyunjin stood at felix's doorway with a cheeky smile. "Y/N, YOU DID IT! I TOLD YOU BEING A BITCH TO HIM WOULD WORK!"
"HYUNJIN, GET THE FUCK OUT."
#스트레이키즈#한지숭#서창빈#창빈#황현진#현진#필릭스#이용복#lee yongbok#lee felix#skz felix x reader#felix stray kids#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#felix smut#han smut#jisung smut#han jisung smut#changbin smut#lee felix smut#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#changbin x reader#jisung x reader#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#stray kids#skz smut
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what are some of your favorite robin jason headcanons
ARGH DONT GET ME STARTED---
Commissioner Gordon isn't allowed to smoke around Robin!Jason. He WILL make puppydog eyes the entire night to try and get commish to give him one
He's the only Robin who's allowed the aud in the Batmobile because he shares Bruce's music taste
Since his room in the manor is Dick's old one, he found Dick's old Flying Graysons poster and taped it above his bed. He uses it as motivation for Robin because if Dick can still be good despite the tragedy of the Graysons then he can too
Selina is his favorite "family" member because she took him to Wildcat's boxing ring the first time they went out together AND she's the only one in that buys him batburgers
He only cooks for himself, because cooking for Bruce makes him think of Catherine's last years :)
He has a huge scar from his lip to his left eye from where Willis' wedding ring caught on his skin once
His favorite book is The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
He spends his first two months in the manor sleeping in the closet instead of the bed
His shower in the Batcave has a bird print on the curtain (when he comes back as Red Hood, it's changed to a fox print)
Jason loves anything chocolate and hates anything strawberry EXCEPT for shortcake. Alfred makes brownies very often
Jason took a knife from the kitchen the day he moved into the manor and hid it under his pillow. Bruce knows but never asked him to give it back. Jason puts it back in the kitchen on the 3 month mark
Jason never has any money despite his allowance being hundreds of dollars because he just leaves them in his childhood friends (Max, Numbers, etc) bedrooms every time
Eddie comes over once every 2-ish months and the first time he's there and Dick comes over Dick is CONVINCED Bruce got another one. Jason runs with it and almost convinces Alfred that Eddie is his new brother
Jason has a winter version of the Robin uniform and the cape has 1) a hood and 2) fur lining. He has to replace it often because he gives it to homeless kids as a blanket more often than not. Bruce is glad to buy him new ones
If he goes to Crime Alley as a civilian, every single crook will ask him if he's "Willis' boy" because when he was still alive, Willis couldn't go more than 10 minutes without telling his coworkers about his little prince
Jason uses a leave-on conditioner for his curls that Dick recommended him. It smells like oranges, and becomes the scent that Bruce associates with him
His favorite piece of clothing is a dark red sweater with two yellow stripes that Clark sent to him for his birthday
Speaking of Clark, his Superman autograph is framed on the wall in his room
He makes friendship bracelets when he's bored!! Most of them he gives to children he rescues as Robin (it becomes Gotham Culture to compare how many Robin friendship bracelets you have. The record is 23). The ones he doesn't give to victims are usually given to Rena or Eddie (and, in one rare occasion, to Bruce. it says "Spooky." Bruce still wears it after Jason comes back)
Robin Jason looks like a doll. He has an up-tipped button nose and eyes three times the size they ought to be, big eyelashes and cupids bow lips. He looks like Sheila as Robin, and like Willis as Red Hood
He has a tattoo in the shape of a batarang on his shoulder because of Willis (which I've written about here)
Okay i just realized how long this is oh my god. I didn't even make a DENT on my Robin Jason headcanons. god help me
#snksknj thank you for this ask it was really fun to answer#im very normal about him as you can see#zinc ask#ramble ramble ramble#dc comics#jason todd#batman#robin dc#batfam#bruce wayne#jaybin
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| So, So Right | pt.1
Stepbro! Anakin Skywalker x Innocent Reader
18+ MDNI
Warnings: eventual smut, inappropriate relationships
Info: Modern AU, Anakin is whipped, Anakin literally worships the ground you walk on, Not Profread
It had been almost 4 months since your world was shattered and the pieces were glued haphazardly back together. Everything had happened alarmingly fast, one day it was just you and your mother, the next she was bringing home a stranger. He was nice, he made your mom happy and that was enough of a reason for you to love him as well.
That was until one night Obi-Wan and your mother came in to the living room where you sat typing away on your laptop for a college class. Obi-Wan cleared his throat to catch your attention, once you looked up and saw the nervous smiles on their faces you got a nauseous feeling in your stomach.
“Can we talk for a second?” Your mother asked tentatively, almost afraid to ask.
“Yeah sure. What’s up?” You raised an eyebrow and carefully put your laptop on the coffee table.
“We’ve decided it’s time for you to meet my son.” Obi-Wan smiled, “the year is almost over, he will be coming home for the summer.”
Your mind spun, this could mean the end of your normalcy. This was a serious step, of course you knew he had a son, but you had never even spoken to him, much less seen him.
“That’s a couple weeks away. Uh- well thanks for telling me?” You said confused.
“Yes but, honey, look at me.” Your mother’s sweet and calming voice pierced through the fog attempting to form in your mind. “He’s coming to visit this weekend!”
“Like this weekend? As in tomorrow?” You asked, standing up abruptly.
“Yes, he will be here tomorrow afternoon. We want to take you both out to dinner.” Obi-Wan nodded, reaching out to encourage you to walk over.
“Okay,” you forced a smile, trying to hide your nervousness, “what’s his favorite desert?”
Obi-Wan chuckled, pulling you into an embrace where you were sandwiched between him and your mother.
“Blondies.” He whispered and gave you an affectionate shoulder squeeze.
You tossed and turned all night, unable to get comfortable and desperate to turn your thoughts off. You so badly wanted to make a good impression on him. You knew enough about him to know he played Lacrosse, he was such a good player and had so much passion for it that he had considered majoring in sports management. Though quickly realized engineering and mechanics was the perfect fit for him. He was tall and pretty, a scar across his eye from his teenage years. That was it, that was all you had. Plus the fact you now knew he liked Blondies.
So the moment your alarm had went off you rolled out of bed and got to work. Baking was your passion, culinary school was the perfect fit for you. You dreamed of opening a pastry shop, and you used every spare minute to hone your skills. The process was easy, cookie dough and brownie batter, slap it all in a pan and throw it in the oven.
Now that you’d taken them out to cool, you found yourself restless and incapable of sitting still. This was going to be a long day.
Over the next few hours you packaged away the Blondies in a cute pastry box with a pink tag that you’d written ‘Anakin’ in beautiful calligraphy, showered and watched a few episodes of your favorite show, and now you sat at your vanity.
Staring at yourself in the mirror, hyping yourself up to meet the most important person in Obi-Wan’s life. Carefully applying your makeup, not too much, just enough to accentuate your natural features and lengthen your eyelashes. Painting your nails and nude-ish pink and slipping on a soft baby blue dress with matching shoes.
Descending the stairs while your hair flowed gracefully down your back in loose curls. Obi-Wan and your mother sat at the kitchen table chatting, immediately looking up when you entered the room.
“Oh! You look lovely!” Your mother clapped her hands and her lips curved into a genuine smile.
“Beautiful.” Obi-Wan beamed, he had really taken to the roll of father figure for you, and it showed in moments like these. He treated you as his own flesh and blood.
The car ride went quickly, and soon you were entering the restaurant. Watching the crowd from the waiting room, in fitted black dress pants and a black button-up stood a sandy haired boy. Obi-Wan rushed over and clapped a hand on his back, pulling him into a crushing hug. You stood with your mother, watching the scene unfold with adoration.
“Ani!” Obi-Wan outstretched his arms to gesture to you. “Here she is!”
His gaze lingered on your face before traveling down and back up, his cheeks a bit pink and his eyes wide.
“Hi! It’s nice to meet you again Satine.” He nodded and took your mothers hand between his two large ones.
“I’ve heard quite a bit about you.” Anakin turned to you, his height making you feel smaller than before. You introduced yourself as Anakin seemed to drink in every word.
The hostess soon called for your party, and brought you to a large round table near a floor to ceiling window. The view was gorgeous and the table setting was just as elegant. The dinner was going smoothly, Anakin was easy to get along with. He seemed genuinely interested in everything you said, you were so relieved that you didn’t even notice the hunger in his gaze.
That had been weeks ago, and it felt like an eternity. The dinner ended with a bombshell of an announcement, Obi-Wan and your mother were engaged to be married.
Now Anakin had moved in, the wedding date was set and Obi-Wan had put his house on the market. Your room was right next to Anakin’s, and you had a shared bathroom connecting the rooms. You didn’t mind, in fact you quite enjoyed being so close to him.
The friendship had blossomed beautifully, spending time with Anakin was your new favorite thing. He kept you company when you were flitting about the kitchen with your apron covered in flour, helped you with chores, read to you at night and he even walked through the neighborhood with you and quickly discovered your fear of the large dog at the end of the cul-de-sac when you practically jumped into his arms when it barked at you. He didn’t make fun of you like you expected, he held you to his chest and whispered calming words until you were ready to continue, after that his hand was practically glued to yours in a comforting grasp at all times.
Today was the beginning of his new summer job, he’d be working at the local car shop as a mechanic, he was absolutely ecstatic. Of course you were equally excited for him, but you held a bit of worry in your heart, what would you do all day without him here?
“Goodmorning princess,” he called from the shared bathroom, you almost always kept your doors open so you could easily get to his room and vice versa.
You hopped up quickly and rushed to sit on the bathroom sink while he brushed his teeth. He greeted you with a sleepy kiss to your forehead, leaving a soft smile on your lips.
“Are you excited?” You asked.
“So excited.” He grinned, spitting toothpaste foam into the sink and rinsing it down.
“Good! I-I’ll bring you some lunch okay?” You said.
“Perfect. I’d miss you too much if you didn’t.” He gathered you up in his arms, hooking his forearms under your thighs to hold you close to his chest while you wrapped your legs around him, resting your head in the crook of his shoulder. He walked you over to his bedroom, gently laying you in his still-warm sheets.
“Ani?” You asked as you watched him strip from his pajama pants and sleep shirt.
“What is it babe?” He asked as he walked to his closet in just his boxers.
“What am I supposed to do all day while you’re gone?” Your lip stuck in a pout.
“We talked about this,” he said gently, sliding a white shirt over his head and throwing some jeans on the bed before making his way to you.
“I’ll be back everyday at 5:00. You’ll have from 8:00 to 5:00 to do whatever you want! Call up one of your friends, see if they want to set up a weekly hang out or something.”
He carefully tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear, you could see the pain in his eyes at the thought of you being upset.
“I know. I will.” You sighed, scooting closer to rest your head on his knee.
“I gotta do this to get the experience, so I can open my own garage. How else am I gonna make sure you get that big cake shop hmm?” He caressed your cheek with his thumb, making you nod in agreement.
“You’ll see me at lunch, and once I get home, I’ll take you out to see a movie. How that sound?” He asked, taking notice of your sour expression.
You perked up at the thought, it had been a while since you’d been to the theater.
“Yes! That would make up for it I think.” You said playfully.
“Good. Now I gotta go before you convince me to stay.” He laughed, smoothing your hair and standing up.
Throwing on his jeans and a belt before tugging on his brand new pair of work boots. He took one last look at you, pressing his lips to his thumb and transferring the kiss to your bottom lip in a gentle swipe. He left you there, alone in his room. His blankets smothered you with his scent and you slowly let yourself fall asleep.
You groggily awoke to the feeling of the mattress being weighted down. A gentle hand shaking your leg to get your attention. Your sleep filled eyes barely registered the figure at the foot of the bed, Obi-Wan. You rubbed your eyes with your knuckles as he spoke.
“What’re you doing in here?” He asked.
“I came to tell Anakin bye and I fell asleep.” You laughed, sitting up.
“You almost had me worried,” he smiled, “I didn’t see you in your room when I stopped to tell you that your mom left for work and I was on my way out.”
“Sorry!” Your eyes widened, “oh I didn’t even think- I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“It’s okay, don’t apologize.” He stood up, getting ready to leave. “Have a good day!” He called as he left the room.
Once you gathered the energy to pull yourself out of the cocoon you’d made in Anakin’s bed, you headed downstairs to make yourself breakfast and to assemble a bag lunch for Anakin.
You called a few friends, only one being free every week. Your childhood friend Ashley was more than happy to have a standing date with you every Thursday, she seemed excited to spend more time with you. As you ended the call you hopped into your car and set on your way to Anakin’s new job.
You stepped out onto the pavement with your old beat-up sneakers and shorts with a black crop top. The ground around you practically sizzled from the heat and you quickly made your way inside into the sweet relief of air conditioning. You strode up to the desk and tapped the bell on the counter, a man came out from the back after a few seconds.
“What can I do for you missy?” His voice was gruff and his shirt was stained beyond repair.
“I’m Anakin’s step-sister, I brought him lunch.” You lifted up the bag and smiled.
“Right, he told me you’d be coming.” He smirked, taking in your appearance before turning on his heel and yanking open a side door.
“Skywalker! Your girl is here.” He shouted, and moments later Anakin came rushing through the door, unzipping his work jumpsuit so that it hung from his hips, his white undershirt covered in sweat.
“There she is!” He grinned, enveloping you in a tight hug, breaking the embrace to place a possessive hand on the small of your back, leading you outside and back to your car.
“How is it? Is it fun? Do you like the people? Who was that guy? Is he your boss?” Your rapid fire questions had Anakin laughing as he cracked open his can of Pepsi.
“Slow down,” he grinned, pulling out his sandwich and chips. “Yes, it’s fun and all the people are super nice. And yes, that man is my boss, his name is Gary.”
“He doesn’t mind that I’m gonna be here everyday does he?” You asked.
“No, I told him you’d be bringing me lunch. He’s fine with it, gave me a teasin’ though.” He laughed.
“Why?” You questioned confused.
“Ah no big deal, he’s just jealous that I’ve got such a sweetheart like you.” His hand found yours and his thumb brushed your knuckles lovingly. “Thought it was weird my step-sis tolerated me enough to bring me food.”
“Huh? That’s mean!” You huffed, “I don’t tolerate you, I love you!”
“I know baby. I know.” He brought your knuckles to his lips and placed a chaste kiss there before taking a bite of his sandwich.
“Guess I’m just lucky.” He shrugged with a teasing smirk.
You watched with adoration as he downed his food, he was starving, as if this was the only thing he’d eaten in days.
“I’m gonna have to pack you more tomorrow.” You said, dusting crumbs off his shirt. “Do you need me to bring you a snack? Are you still hungry?”
“I’ll be alright for today, we’ll just get some food before the movie tonight.” He said, taking his palm to your cheek.
He stared, his pupils blown wide as he gazed down at you leaning into his palm. He was always so soft and gentle with you, he made you feel so loved.
“C’mere.” He whispered, cradling your head now between both hands as he drew your face closer. Pressing a kiss to your nose and then to your forehead. “Thank you for always bein’ so sweet to me.”
“You deserve it.” You grinned, quickly pecking him on the cheek. “You should probably get back.”
“I know.” He sighed, putting his trash into the lunch bag and setting it in the floor board of the car.
His gaze lingered on your lips, and quickly shot over to the garage doors, all four were shut and so was the public entrance. He shook his head slightly.
“What’s wrong Ani?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed.
“Nothing princess. Just thinking.” His voice was soft. “I love you.”
“I love you!” You responded happily, throwing your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in his neck. A soft groan escaped his mouth at the feeling of your lips grazing accidentally across the sensitive skin.
Anakin’s head swam as he thought to himself, about the last few weeks, the way you so willingly gave him affection, how you didn’t seem to realize how your touch affected him, that you didn’t seem to understand that the attachment between the two of you was far from normal. He should be ashamed, taking advantage of your innocence like this, you didn’t know any better. He should be disgusted with his actions, with his anything but pure thoughts. But he couldn’t help himself. You were you, and that was enough of a reason for him to throw his morals and better judgment out the window.
He made a decision right then, with your arms around him and his lips pressed against the crown of your head. He was yours, you were his.
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#anakin skywalker#anakin smut#anakin x reader#star wars anakin#sw anakin#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x you#darth vader#darth vader smut#star wars#star wars fanfiction#starwars fandom#anakin skywalker x you#anakin fanfiction#anakin skywalker x reader smut#anakin skywalker fanfiction#Stepbro!anakin
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I'm in the mood for...
July 15th
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1. For the next itmf I had 2 requests
A) Wei Wuxian not being okay after his 3 months in the burial mounds. Like, not just being mean, I want him to barely be holding to reality, maybe some amnesia, but for him to be bad to a concerning point
B) Wei Wuxian feeling isolated
Thank you! ♡
1A)
🔒 At heart by apathyinreverie (M, 36k, WangXian, WIP, Dark LWJ(Ish), Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Hurt WWX, Recovery, Caring, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, some definite manipulation, but not everything is as it seems, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, kind of, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, WWX Goes to Gusu, Possessive WWX, WWX happily atticwifing away, Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, ridiculously self-indulgent) LWJ finds WWX in the Burial mounds and he heals slowly. Has Amnesia, doubting the reality and malnutrition as focus points
they who refuse to be blessed by sysrae (E, 7k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Whump, Golden Core Reveal, Developing Relationship, wwx can have a little scurvy, as a treat, Bathing/Washing, Confessions, Sharing a Bed) things happen and lwj gets to take care of wwx immediately after finding him, noting all the damage his time in the mounds has done
🔒 between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating)
🔒He knows He knew Once by StarClearWaters (Readoutloud) (G, 6k, WangXian, Temporary Amnesia, Resentful Energy, Burial Mounds-Induced Amnesia, Blanket Permission, POV Multiple, Not as angsty as it sounds)
1B)
Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)
Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, wangxian, canon divergence, necromancy, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, Fix-it of sorts, yilingwei sect au)
Having Enough (of your foolishness) by makexianxianhappytoday (T, 18k, WangXian, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiang Family Bashing, Canon Divergence, CSSR and WCZ Live, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, (but what are the consequences), JC Bashing)
~*~
2. [ITMF ask] Are there any fics where the resentful energy from the Burial Mounds (physically? Mentally? Metaphorically??) love wwx and try their best to help him survive? Especially when they still recognize wwx in mxy's body after the whole 13 years thing
Mud on Your Feet by AvoOwO (Not Rated, 59k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Nightmares, Sentient Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds, Possession, Panic Attacks, Night Terrors, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Sibling JC, Hurt WWX, Soft WangXian, Feels, Blood and Injury, Hallucinations, Delusions, JC Loves WWX, Insomnia, Good Sibling WWX, Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking, LWJ just wants to sleep with his husband, Protective JC, WWX Sees Dead People, LJY pulls through, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses, PTSD, Post-Canon, YLLZ WWX, resentful energy, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, WWX’s Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, WWX is tired, LWJ literally just wants to sleep with WWX again is that too much to ask for??, Soft JC, Yunmeng Siblings Feels)
Devil Flute Upon Graves, Wei Ying by cloudyrobinwrites (jwyoomi) (M, 18k, WangXian, HuaLian, JYL/JZX, MXY & WWX, Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hints of Fluff, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Sentient Burial Mound, Ghost WWX, Future Calamity WWX, Pre-WangXian, what if wwx actually died when he first fell into the burial mounds and came out as a wrath level ghost, he has a murder of crows like HC's silver butterflies, grab some popcorn watch him spiral, WWX is Not Okay, He'll get better I promise, Canon Divergence, WWX is a Calamity, WWX is not having a fun time, the burial mounds is a tiger mom, how to motivate yourself to finish mount tonglu: think of LWJ, hualian are WWX's emotional support parents, deity JYL, Deity JZX, Good Sibling JYL, JZX is So Whipped, Heavenly Emperor XL, but like forced he doesnt want to be on the throne but fate is like lol nope, Xuanli Raise Jin Ling as They Should, dont worry the MCD refers to the canonical character deaths theyre fine, The Burial Mounds Wants More Kids, what happens when a ghost king gets thrown into a murder mystery, WWX picked up MXY and decided he'll be his student now, MXY managed to summon a calamity level ghost what a guy, WWX disguises himself as a rogue cultivator) It's a MDZS/TGCF crossover in which the Burial mounds is an actual character
~*~
3. itmf fics with the wei family. any where cssr and/or wcz are alive and taking care of their baby, or ones where wwx has a sibling! ty!
Building a home by R95irth (T, 586k, WCZ/CS, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-it, Angst with a happy ending, Family fluff)
Cartwheels In Cloud Recesses Series by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 23k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR and WCZ Live, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans)
The Different Paths We Tread Series by Admiranda, Rynne (T/G/E, 345k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR and WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Minor Violence, Case Fic, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Wangxian's Baby Fever, POV Outsider, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, PWP, Desk Sex, Inappropriate Use of Gusu Lan Forehead Ribbon, Light Bondage, Dirty Talk, Teasing, Anal Sex, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, LWJ Has a Biting Kink, Anal Fingering, wwx's debatably self-lubing asshole, xxc and cssr meet, WWX is a Lan, WWX is Xiao Xingchen's Shizhi, Non-Graphic Depictions of Donkey Childbirth)
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4. Back again with a hand out, begging! Love you all so much! This is an ITMF request: Jiang Cheng-centric groundhog-day AU? I've seen a few with WWX but I'd love one with Jiang Cheng being put through it! (no JC bashing, prefer canon era) @kimboo-york
~*~
5. Is there a Cloud Recesses Study Arc fanfics where they see the future in the classroom? @tjrc18
Wei Wuxian’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good First Meeting With His Future by Enigmatree (T, 3k, wangxian, Time Travel, Cloud Recesses, YLLZ WWX, POV Outsider)
~*~
6. Hello! I'm making an 'im in the mood for' fic request! I'd really like to read a fic where Wangxian adopt Xue Yang and give him a good childhood :D
Also if there are any ships with xy, i have a STRONG preference for songxuexiao
🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect) He gets taken in as a son/disciple together with MXY into the sect WWX is totally not creating on accident
Unstoppbble by Immortal WangXian (Mr_Pervert) (M, 85k, WIP, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, NingSang, QingJue, Immortal LWJ, Immortal WWX, Good Parent YZY, Good Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Good Person XY, Evil JGY, Travel Fix-It, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Bottom JC/Top LXC, Bottom NHS/Top WN, Supportive NMJ, YLLZ WWX, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff and Crack, Shameless Smut, Action/Adventure, Mpreg) Time travel fix it where Wangxian pick up XY when he's 6
Alternate by Hanashi_o_suru (M, 60k, WIP, WangXian, Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Established WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Third Person Limited, WWX is a Tease, mentions of rape/non-con, Sporadic and Random Updates) Also a time travel fix it fic where they pick up XY while he's a child. Another plus: he started ironically calling WWX A-Niang and now it's stopped being ironical. It happens
~*~
7. Hello everyone! This time I will use the "I feel like..." section because I would really like fics where only Wei Wuxian is a time traveler and helps everyone live while she wins back her husband! I really just imagine hijinks and fluff. Thank you very much for your effort @makolashida
And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) may have more angst then they are seeking but it fits the other requirements.
~*~
8. Hi! This is for ITMF
A) WWX has a chronic illness but not a sickness like cancer. What i want is he was sick in the past and recovered but if he does something his past illness will come again or something like The Porcelain Lotus of Yungmeng by The Feels Whale (miscellea) or 🔒A Burning Cold by MountainRose
B) WWX wants to fix JFM and YZY marriage (because he thinks that it was his fault they always fighting) and JYL or JWY says "you cant fix something that never been whole before" Or something like that or saying that its not WWX responsibility to fix that @idontknowwhattowriteforusername
8A)
misunderstood 'verse by sysrae (M, 7k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, getting hit by cars, Past Child Abuse, Friends to Lovers, Abusive YZY, Caring LWJ, Injured WWX, partial hearing loss, the real OTP is everyone x therapy) modern au wwx is deaf on one eat because of a past experience
A Bad of Nibs (Nibs are Bad) by Enk (M, 17k, WangXian, Quarantine, Slice of Life, Friends to Lovers, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Fluff and Angst, Mild Sexual Content, Found Family, Vague Canadian Location, JYL Lives)
~*~
9. hi! for the itmf, idk if this is specific but any modern au fics where wwx is estranged from the jiangs for some reason either during or before the fic, a-yuan is his kid (adopted or biological) and the jiangs don’t know about him, and they reconnect? thank you for the work!
🔒moonlight falls Series by RoseThorne (T, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Corporate Espionage, Family Fluff, Adoption, Bad parent LQR, Pre-JC & WWX Reconciliation, Dissociation, Mental Health Issues, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Found Family, Emotional Constipation, Communication Failure, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC is Trying, WWX Needs a Hug, POV WWX, POV Third Person, Implied/Referenced Sex, Food Sex, Reconciliation, Psychological Trauma)
~*~
10. itmf fics where wwx discovers evidence that lwj is in love with him. like maybe wwx discovering his floorboard stash and finding his painting of lwj, or alternatively, smth like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, lwj’s own art for wwx, or self-insert fanfic. things like that! @nalalie
Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours. by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 3k, WangXian, Immortal LWJ and WWX, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Well it could be a Bittersweet Ending, Love Confessions) Immortal WWX finds a poem immortal LWJ wrote in the 13 years he was dead. It's a love poem
rather cruelly used and rather reserved by x_los (M, 13k, wangxian, sugar daddy (slightly), case fic, domestic horror, architectural horror, gift giving, happy ending, getting together, confessions) is perfect for it
~*~
11. I’m in the mood for no-war AUs about wangxian getting together post CR study arc. Just want to read about how these two might have figured it out without the stress of war and growing up too fast! Thanks in advance!
Dazzle Like a Diamond by Tsukimiko_san (T, 4k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Crow WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, No Angst, ok maybe a tiny sprinkle of angst but like, usual LWJ thinking WWX is just teasing him, it doesn’t last long, Getting Together, they are both so whipped, Boys Kissing, Courting Rituals) iirc there's not even a mention of war on this one, but I do have to warn that it's crowxian and dragonji
Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) Fits both 11 & 12. It's a no war AU (mostly - there is some conflict between the Wen & Nie, but WX's role is solely helping refugees) set shortly after CRSA where WX get together. There's also a subplot about WWX setting up a charitable venture to help Yiling's street kids
💙 Holding shreds by barisan (T, 5k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, No Sunshot Campaign, Body Swap, Not for sexy shenanigans, Chronic Pain, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together, Smart WWX)
Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (G, 21k, wangxian, canon divergence, romantic comedy, pining, protective JC, friends to lovers, misunderstandings)
For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 16k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft WangXian, Teenage LWJ/Teenage WWX, No Sunshot Campaign)
Straight at the Sun by diamondbruise (E, 33k, WangXian, Canon Universe, no war though, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, Misunderstandings, First Time, Anal Sex, wwx desperately wants lwj's attention, lwj desperately wants to marry wwx, Miscommunication, Jealousy, in abundance, Happy Ending, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX)
~*~
12. Itmf fics that deal with wwx caring about kids (esp canon era), adopting fostering having an official or unofficial ward, looking out for street children in any way he can even in little ways as a kid etc
🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff) wwx teaches Lan kids stuff
the low sky, raining over by chibilwj (thelogicoftaste) (M, 37k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Kid Fic)
❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, 🔒[PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)
He never had a plan, he just went with the flow by CrazyGeek_TheGachatuber15 (Not Rated, 65k, WIP, XiYao, WangXian, Gusu Lan Elders Bashing, LXC Bashing, LXC gets his shit together, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Dynamics, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Are Bad at Communicating, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, WWX is Good With Children, Water Spirit WWX, Deity WWX, Good Sibling JYL, Protective NHS, Scheming NHS, BAMF LSZ, Angry LSZ, Good Friend LSZ, Demonic Cultivator LSZ, but not really?, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei Sect, accidentally, MXY Lives, JRS Lives, OP WWX, Deity LSZ, Inventor WWX, slight OOC behavior, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Future Character Death, Canon Divergence) In it WWX founded an orphanage before the war and is now, after his death, gathering homeless children to bring there and visits them when he's not traveling. The last few chapters were about it, kind of (currently has 9 chapters)
🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence)
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13. Hi! I love this blog. I was looking for fics where LWJ considers his love wholeheartedly rejected and/or unrequited and as the reader, you feel his pain viscerally. I’ve found some fics like this which I adore like - “it’s always open” by Scarlettstorm, “heart at ease” by Diamondbruise and “A little late (but can I come home anyway?)” by Anobtra (animeobsessedtrash) - but am always interested in more!
Thank you!
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14. helloooo! could i have time travel fanfics where they DON'T end up in their younger bodies? that's it. they teleport as they are, in their future selves. the future can be from whichever arc and teleported to any arc in the past. whichever canon is fine, angst is fine. i'd prefer it completed and somewhat humor but i'll take whatever i can get. i trust this blog's fine tastes. c:
i just really want fics where they co-exist with their younger selves because i don't know how to tag it separately from the "wake up in their younger self" fanfics. thank you very much! @lovewly
💖 From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, First Love, Love Confessions, Fluff and Humor, accidental time travel due to one husband malfunctioning array, teen wangxian meet adult wangxian, Happy Ending, adding extra chapter, in this household we hate JGS, in which WWX love library pavilion, (in a way) Yiling Laozu x Hanguang Jun, Denial, Mutual Pining) Adult LWJ finds himself in the CRSA era due to a mishap with an array
River Stones by littlesystems (M, 18k, WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study arc, Junior Quartet, Oblivious WWX, Suffering LWJ, Voyeurism) Both CRSA-era WWX & LWJ go forward in time & meet post-canon WX
there's a story on Tumblr with JC who time travels. I don't know how to link it, but you can find it on this blog under fic compilation -> non AO3 (the second one is Tumblr) and then by scrolling all the way down to the master post from Shana storyteller. The fic is just titled "Time travel Jiang Cheng" (link is to the latest part - mod c)
Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, wangxian, hualian, WIP, TGCF, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, characters watching their series, Time Travel Fix-it)
Key Differences by pupeez4eva (T, 5k, WangXian, Humor, Dimension Travel, Crossover, Drama!WWX meets Novel!WWX, Public Confessions, Post-Canon) sort of fits in that it's Novel Wei Wuxian meeting Drama Wei Wuxian, resulting in hilarity.
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15. Hi Mods! Can I get SongXIao Fic recs please? Like main pairing SongXiao fic recs?
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16. Itmf a fic where wei wuxian adopts a 2nd child (or more). So it's not just a-yuan. Esp if it's a developed oc. Ex: twelve moons and a fortnight (oc a-shui), please take this radish (xue yang), mxy, others, etc
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17. hiii!! itmf!! is there any modern au fics where wei ying makes lan zhan jealous on purpose?? @yesibest
Wei Ying's Favourite Customer by QueenofThyme (T, 3k, WangXian, Modern, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista WWX, Jealous LWJ, Texting, Fluff, Flirting, Mutual Pining, Multi POV)
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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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Worth The Wait- Part 2
As I got so much lovely feedback and a few requests, here is a follow up for my Eddie x Reader x Evan imagine. I hope you will all like it, feedback is always appreciated.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @gillybear17
Eddie Diaz Masterlist
Evan Buckley Masterlist
Part 1
Summary: Now the trio finally got through labour and have their baby, they navigate life as a family of five.
Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, look who's here."
(Y/n) sat up straighter and nudged her foot against Evan's thigh to gain his attention. She nodded towards the door and Evan pushed up so he was sitting up on the bed rather than slouched down with his knees near her chest and his head on a pillow by her feet.
He turned around to face the door and grinned when he watched Eddie pass by the window and move to open the hospital room door.
They both knew who he had with him. He had gone over to Carla's to get Chris and bring him down to see his family. When he rang Carla this morning to see how Chris had been over the last two days, he had apparently been fine until night time. Too excited to sleep for long because he knew he was going to be able to see his baby sibling soon.
And he hadn't stopped chatting Eddie's ear off the whole car ride down to the hospital. Especially when Eddie wouldn't tell him whether the baby was a boy or a girl. Eddie told him it was a surprise and he could find out once he got to the hospital.
"There he is!" Evan hopped up from the bed and stretched his arms out above him, clicking his arms and his spine back into place before he reached out for Chris.
"Pops!"
That one word made Evan freeze and when Chris barrelled into him, he almost fell back. He looped his arms around Chris and lifted him up into his chest but when he looked over Chris's shoulder at Eddie, he could see a surprised expression mirrored back at him.
Chris had never called him that before.
When Evan dropped Chris off at school a few months back, one of his friends asked who Evan was. It had made Evan extremely happy and proud to hear Chris say he had three parents and Evan was one of them. But he hadn't called Evan dad or anything similar to that before.
And that had been okay. Evan knew it was confusing for Chris to lose his mum and only have Eddie to rely on, and then go from Eddie to having three parents all at once. And Eddie was his dad, Evan would never want to take that away from him or try and push in.
But to hear Chris call him that and refer to him as his dad made Evan's heart explode in his chest and he could feel tears falling down his face already.
"Missed you," Evan whispered in Chris's ear as he perched him on his hip and kissed his temple.
He squeezed Chris into a tight hug and when he looked across at Eddie, he saw Eddie grinning with tears in his eyes. He perched back down on the side of the bed with Chris on clinging to his front like a monkey.
"Missed you too pops, and mum. Missed mum!"
(Y/n) tightened her arms around the newborn resting in the crook of her elbow. She felt like her heart had lurched up into her throat and stopped her from being able to breathe.
Chris had never called her that before either.
(Y/n) and Evan had been in his life for the last four years, they had helped raise him and loved him as if he were their own. But just like Evan didn't want to push in on Eddie's space as his dad, (Y/n) didn't want to do that to Shannon's memory. Chris had mixed feelings about his mum leaving him and Eddie, but she was still his mum.
And (Y/n) didn't think Chris would ever come round to the idea of calling her mum. She thought that would be too uncomfortable for him and she was settled on the idea of him just calling her (Y/n) and telling his friends she was one of his three parents.
Being called mum by the boy she thought of as her own son was like stretching her hand out and being able to touch the stars.
(Y/n) didn't realise she had been holding her breath until she felt Eddie's hand on her back and he started to rub slow circles up and down her back to coax her to breathe again.
"Is it a boy?" Chris leaned his head against Evan's temple and looked down at the bundle in (Y/n)'s arms. He couldn't see properly and the onesie was one of the Disney ones Chris had helped Eddie pick out. It was gender neutral and so was the beige cap on the newborn's head that matched.
"No, you've got a sister, baby."
Evan tilted his head back with a groan when Chris flopped to sit down on his lap and clapped. He leaned closer with Evan's arms still around his middle and carefully tugged on (Y/n)'s arm to get her to tilt his sister towards him so he could see her better.
"She's pretty," He brushed his finger across her cheek before he looked up at (Y/n). "Mum was right."
(Y/n) had guessed they would have a daughter. Eddie, Evan and Chris had all put their bets on for a boy because they wanted to keep (Y/n) outnumbered as the only girl in the house. But now they had another girl to spoil and their daughter would have everyone wrapped around her little finger.
"She takes after your mum. Do you want to hold her?" When Chris nodded, Eddie stood up and leaned across the bed.
He picked Chris up and lifted him over the bed and down into the chair Eddie had just been perched in. He waited for Chris to shuffle back in the chair and sit straight with a wide grin before he turned to face (Y/n). Leaning over, Eddie kissed (Y/n)'s temple as she slowly eased their daughter into his arms.
"Okay, here you go, big brother." Eddie crouched down in front of Chris and slowly placed his little girl into Chris's waiting arms. He curved Chris's left arm a little tighter around the newborn's head to support her a bit better and made sure she was settled on his lap.
He stood up and moved to sit back on the bed and a grin overtook Eddie's face when (Y/n) leaned forward and perched her chin on his shoulder. She wrapped her hands around his arm and snuggled into his side while Evan found his phone to take a photo.
"What's her name?"
"We were thinking about calling her Belle. What do you think?"
"Tinkerbell… because she's small."
Evan curled his hand around Eddie's shoulder and leaned to kiss his cheek as he smiled across at their two kids. Tinkerbell sounded like a lovely nickname for their little girl and it was Chris's suggestion which made it even more special. "I think that's perfect."
Chris started to sway from left to right and he moved his right hand to rest on Belle's stomach with his thumb brushing up and down her chest. But his lips curved into a wide, open grin when her nimble fingers curled around his index finger and gripped tightly.
He looked up and shook his hand lightly to get his parents to notice what Belle had done.
"She knows who you are." (Y/n) whispered quietly and moved to loop both her arms around Eddie's neck so she could kiss his cheek.
Moving up from the bed, Evan scanned around the room and found the bottle the nurse had brought them just before Eddie got back. It was about time for Belle to have her feed. He turned around and bent down in front of Chris, brushing his thumb across Chris's hand for a few seconds.
"Can I steal her to feed her, buddy?"
"No."
"No?" Evan leaned back with a grin and looked over his shoulder. It looked like their daughter had been confiscated from them.
"No. You show me how to do it, pops?" Chris slowly tugged his hand free from Belle's grip and reached out to take the bottle from Evan, not really giving him a choice in the matter. He had Belle now and while she was happy, he wasn't going to let her go. They could show him how to feed her so he knew what to do when they took her back home.
He smiled when Evan leaned forward to kiss his temple and ruffle his curls before he perched down on the arm of the chair and wrapped an arm around Chris's shoulders.
"Sure, buddy. I'll show you how to do it."
***
Leaning to the left, (Y/n) wrapped her arm around Chris's shoulders and kissed the top of his head. She stayed close behind him and kept her hand on his shoulder as they walked into the station and looked around.
Their eyes instantly found Evan, walking away from the ambulance with a clipboard in his hand and a pen tucked behind his ear. He was about to walk back towards inventory until Chris shouted out to him and caught his attention.
"Pops!"
He swayed back and forth, shifting his weight from his heels to his toes as he watched Evan spin round and grin as soon as he locked eyes with them. Chris tightened his hands around the pram and leaned his chest forward onto the handlebar, grinning as Evan made his way over to them.
Evan set the clipboard down on the side table before he jogged over to his family stood near the back of the truck.
His arms opened wide and he leaned down, scooping Chris up as soon as he pulled away from the pram he had been pushing. Evan could instantly tell from (Y/n)'s expression that Chris had been pushing the pram almost all day. He loved to push Belle around, especially because he could lean on the pram rather than use his crutches when he went out.
"There's my boy. You okay?" Leaning back, Evan settled Chris on his chest and smiled brightly when Chris looped his arms around his neck and nodded.
Keeping Chris held up in his right arm, Evan reached his left arm out and reeled (Y/n) into his chest. He felt her hand rub up and down his chest and she kissed his cheek before she moved around. Her arms bound around his torso and her face tucked into the crook of his neck so Evan could feel each deep breath she took.
"Where's dad?"
"He's upstairs getting a drink, go find him and he'll get you a drink bud."
Evan leaned down and carefully set Chris down to his feet and watched him hurry over towards the stairs. When he turned back around, Evan gently cupped the side of (Y/n)'s face and tilted her head up so he could lean down and capture her lips. He brushed his thumb across her jaw when he felt her smile against him and he felt her fingers start to rub up and down his back.
"You alright?" He murmured softly against her lips and felt her nod before both their heads turned to the right to look at the pram.
Belle was awake. The five-month old was starting to squeal and kick her legs out to move the pram and gain some attention.
When Evan unravelled from around her, (Y/n) rested her hand on his upper back and smiled as he leaned down into the pram and scooped Belle up. He held her up and gently swayed her from left to right until she started to smile and kick her legs out at him.
"Hi baby. Have you missed me?"
He always asked her that question when he came back from work and (Y/n) was sure he thought Belle was answering him when she smiled. She couldn't wait until Belle started to talk, she would butter Evan up and have him wrapped around her finger.
Evan gently lowered her back down and settled her in the middle of his chest and he began smoothing his hand up and down her back as she dribbled onto his shirt.
"So how'd it go, you both okay?" Evan tilted his head down to smother his lips against the top of Belle's head, but he kept his eyes focused on (Y/n).
She had been down to the doctors today. It was a regular check up for Belle to make sure she was alright and continuing to develop and grow properly. And (Y/n) had a check up too while she was there. Every other month (Y/n) was having blood tests because she was low on vitamins and iron.
Evan knew the last time she had her bloods done Eddie had taken her because she had a tendancy to feel faint afterwards.
He felt (Y/n) press her lips against his bare shoulder and he smiled as her arms curved back around his chest. She glued herself up into his side and stared up at him with those eyes that made Evan feel weak at the knees.
"Yeah… can we talk, with Eddie?"
Evan narrowed his eyes and lifted his head away from Belle's temple. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I just need to talk to you both about something, that's all." (Y/n) tried to smile but she could feel her stomach turning into knots and the adrenaline sparking through her chest made it hard to breathe.
She needed to talk to the boys; now.
Her hands stayed curled around Evan's arm and she leaned on his shoulder as he guided her up the stairs where the rest of the team were.
Chimney and Hen were on the far side of the annex, too far away to be heard as they played a game of pool. Bobby was sat at the table with a coffee and Eddie was in the kitchen with Chris getting him a milkshake.
"Babe, look who's here."
Eddie pressed his hand against Chris's back and guided him over to the table and his smile widened when he looked over at Evan and their daughter in his arms. The sight would never get old. Seeing either Evan or (Y/n) with Belle in their arms just made Eddie smile and feel like he was burning with adrenaline he didn't know what to do with.
He reached out and took Belle as soon as Evan was in front of him and he pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek when she grinned. Her small palm batted out and patted across his face like she was searching for something or trying to gain his attention.
When her hand bashed across his lips, Eddie kissed her palm and grinned when she made a squealing noise in retaliation.
"How'd it go today?" Eddie glanced across at (Y/n), noting the way she was leaning into Evan but her smile made him relax. Clearly nothing was wrong or amiss if (Y/n) was smiling at them like that.
"She passed with flying colours." It wasn't exactly a test, but the doctor always checked Belle's hearing and her vision and if she seemed to engage when someone was speaking. And she was growing and putting on weight, no problems with her at all.
"That's my girl." Eddie kissed Belle's cheek and nuzzled his nose against her neck as she continued to gurgle and kick her legs out happily.
"Cap, can you watch them for a minute if we go and have a chat?"
Eddie's eyes narrowed and he looked over at Evan, confusion pooling in his eyes. What did he want to talk about? Why were they going to talk in private instead of in front of Bobby and the kids? It was usually something serious or concerning if they couldn't talk in front of Bobby, especially when Evan relayed every conversation they had back with Bobby who was like his father.
Bobby nodded and reached his arms out with a wide smile when Eddie carefully eased Belle over to him.
Eddie stuffed his hands into his back pockets and followed his two partners across the annex towards the sofas in front of the tv that was playing the news quietly in the background.
(Y/n) sat down in the armchair next to the sofa and leaned her arms on the armrest. She watched both boys sit down on the sofa on her left and she tried to keep the smile on her face so they weren't worried. She didn't want to worry them, but she couldn't help it when she felt her nerves going haywire in her stomach.
As she walked home with Chris and Belle from the doctors, (Y/n) kept telling herself to go home. She tried to persuade herself to walk home and just talk to the boys when they got off work tonight.
But the further they walked, the more anxious (Y/n) felt until all she could do was guide Chris in the other direction and say they were going to see the team for a while. It was worth a shot to see if the boys had five minutes to talk. This way, (Y/n) wouldn't be panicking all afternoon and overthinking this too much.
"Did everything really go okay?" Evan leaned his right elbow on Eddie's thigh and tilted his head to the side as he looked over at (Y/n). She was worrying them both.
"Belle's fine."
"What about you?" Eddie's expression was stern and something about his tone of voice made a shiver roll down (Y/n)'s spine.
She watched the way Eddie leaned forward with his hands clasped together between his parted knees. He looked unsettled. This was why he liked one of them to go along with (Y/n) to check ups like this in case something happened or went wrong or they got worrying news.
Eddie's expression hardened when (Y/n) slumped forward. She dropped her arms from the armrest onto her lap and flopped her head down into her hands. A groan tumbled past her lips as she tried to control her breathing and stop herself from panicking or blurting out everything the doctor had said.
"Baby what's wrong-"
"What's wrong is you two have done it again!"
A perplexed look passed between Evan and Eddie as they turned to glance at each other.
What had they done? Why was (Y/n)'s check up suddenly to do with them? Had they made her feel run down? Did she need more vitamins or iron tablets again? The doctor said last time that hopefully after another two months, her levels might even back out and she wouldn't need the tablets or blood tests anymore.
"Care to tell us what we've supposedly done?" Eddie straightened up and pressed his hands on his knees but he didn't like the way (Y/n) wouldn't look at either of them.
"I'm pregnant. Again."
Taking a deep breath, (Y/n) leaned back up and started to rake her hands up and down her thighs. She could feel her palms beginning to sweat and her nails scratched into her leggings as she dared to lift her eyes and look across at her boys. Trying to gage their reactions and work out what they were feeling.
She didn't know how they were going to react to this.
Her eyes followed the way Eddie clenched his jaw and ran his fingers up and down his chin and the side of his face. Something he did a lot when he was tense and trying to think. Whereas Evan's lips parted and his jaw dropped, but he couldn't quite find any words to say.
"How far along?" Eddie was the first one to speak. Evan still seemed to be in shock.
"Two months… I- I'm only just back of maternity leave and I'll have to take it again." (Y/n) dragged her nails through her hair and brushed it back behind her ears.
(Y/n) was only just starting to get back into the swing of being at work and working her schedule around the boys so someone could be at home with Chris and Belle. Now she was going to have to take another period of maternity leave in just a few months. She would be back at work for all of six months, if that, before she was off again.
She didn't know how the boys were going to react.
They were barely getting used to finding a routine with Belle and having a baby in the house. Now they were going to have to think about looking after a toddler and a baby. (Y/n) might have to take more maternity leave this time or go part time if they had another baby to look after. Not that it sounded like a bad thing, but it was daunting.
Eddie continued to run his hand along his jaw but when he turned his head to the left and looked over at Evan, he almost sighed. Evan looked like he was off in his own world. He looked as if he was drifting among the stars and like he was looking through (Y/n) rather than at her.
"What're you looking at me like that for?" Evan looked over at Eddie with a raised brow and he frowned when Eddie scoffed.
"Because you're already coming up with names, I can tell. You were planning another kid when Belle was less than a day old." Eddie rolled his eyes but his lips quirked up at one side when Evan grinned sheepishly.
He had only been joking at the hospital. And Evan hadn't planned any of this. But he couldn't sit here and pretend he wasn't happy. Kids were always going to be a big part of Evan's life and Chris and Belle meant the world to him. It wouldn't matter to Evan when they had another child, all that mattered was having kids with the two people he cherished more than anything.
And that time seemed to be now.
Both their eyes darted back to (Y/n) when she looked down at herself and a small smile fluttered across her lips. She reached her hand down and dragged her fingers across her stomach before she looked back up at the boys.
"I guess I should be glad I haven't got my shape back yet, huh?"
At least she hadn't bothered thinking about fitting back into her old clothes yet. (Y/n) hadn't bothered thinking about her old clothes in a while. She was comfortable with the way she looked and how her stomach had flattened down from what it was when she was pregnant. Her shape was changing every month and now it was going to start going in the opposite direction once again.
Her eyes focused on her stomach so much that she didn't realise Eddie had moved off the sofa.
He crouched down in front of her and slid his hands up from her knees, across her thighs and up until he was cupping her hips. His fingers dug into her hips and he gave a loving squeeze while he parted her thighs and wedged himself in between her legs.
"Didn't we tell you that you looked great pregnant?" Butterflies sparked to life in (Y/n)'s stomach at Eddie's words and when he reached his hand up to cup her chin, she almost melted.
He brushed his thumb across her lower lip before he leaned up and kissed her so deeply he confiscated all the air from her lungs.
Shivers coursed up and down (Y/n)'s spine when Eddie pulled her closer until he almost dragged her off the chair and she felt Evan sit down on the armrest. He curled his arm around her shoulders and leaned down to kiss the top of her head and (Y/n) could feel him grinning into her skin.
"You both realise there's gonna be a year between them, right? We'll have an eleven-year old, a toddler and a baby."
"And there's three of us to do this."
"So… so we're all happy?" (Y/n) rolled her lips together and looked between the boys for confirmation.
Deep down she knew they would be pleased and excited and stunned all at once. But part of (Y/n) had been afraid that they might not want to do this. That they might not want another baby so soon after having Belle. They would be lucky if there was a year separating their two youngest kids, depending on (Y/n)'s due date and when she went into labour.
They would be getting up during the night to tend to a toddler and a newborn and when the boys were on long shifts together, (Y/n) would be home with all three kids.
But both of them had already proved they could go to work, do their shifts and then come home to their family and be amazing with the kids. They came home and instantly went to check on Chris and Belle before they even thought about getting changed or going for a nap. Evan and Eddie were always going to put their family first, and their family was expanding. Again.
"Are you kidding? When can I start telling people?"
(Y/n) flopped her head down onto Evan's thigh and grinned against his leg while he raked his fingers through her hair. She could practically feel him shaking with excitement. He wanted to go and tell everyone. He wanted to tell the whole team. Right now. He wanted to ring Maddie and tell her he was going to have another baby.
He wanted to ring his parents and show off how happy he was with his family and how much (Y/n) and Eddie meant to him. They never believed this relationship was going to last. Proving they were happy and about to have another child showed that it was working and Evan was happier than he'd ever been.
Tilting her head, (Y/n) looked down at Eddie who perched his chin on her thigh and only smiled.
"I think you might wanna tell Chris first." (Y/n) spoke quietly into Evan's thigh and patted his knee, but Evan's response only made her grin wider and made tears well up in her eyes.
"Can we tell him now?"
#evan buckley#evan buckley x reader#eddie diaz x reader#evan buckley imagine#buck x reader#buck imagine#911 imagine#imagine#eddie diaz imagine#eddie x reader#eddie x buck#buck x eddie#bobby nash
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