#okay 'conceptually' probably a 5

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

4-5 I have been having a lot of thoughts about the franchise lately, tbh, mainly in line with

"Where is the leftist activism in their universe?"

"Where are the disability advocates talking about how people are dehumanizing people with mutations, or how all adaptation is s double sided coin or how being socially disabled is still a disability"

"Where is the Autistic mutant alliance?"

"Where is the Queers for mutant rights advocacy groups?"

"Where's the intersex mutant alliance groups?"

"Where are the people pointing out that the x gene is by far not the only human mutation that causes both symptoms and sometimes different abilities, and that maybe these are not issues we can separate?"

"Where are the people trying to point out that framing it as mutant vs human instead of human vs human is like when we let them start calling anti-fascism 'antifa' to sound scary?"

We always see either mobs coded as republican and American Christians of the worst sort or hate groups to the far right, but does leftism not exist in their universe, we hardly ever see a non mutant individual speak out publicly in their favour at all. I know the left is full of infighting and mutants would make terf's heads explode, but like... Where is the intersectionality?

And Magneto... My biggest gripe with him is how he never mentions the disabled or queer in the same breath as mutants, and it comes across like mutations with powers are the only ones he cares about... It comes off like eugenics which I feel like super would not realistically be his bit.

I have so many... Notes. Especially about a modern 2024 take on the x-men...

So like yeah I am invested in the franchise to a fairly high degree, but a lot of it is demanding they get better cooks. I am attached to these characters now and I want to see them written better.

You were never going to be palatable to the political right, unless they lack all media literacy at all. Stop tiptoeing.

Before kicking off a project I want to gauge what the heat will be like here so do me a favor and answer honestly on a scale of 1 (complete apathy) to 5 (devout enthusiasm):

[alllgator-blood]

I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done

my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION

I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut

Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.

here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.

So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.

For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....

I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time

OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard

[quitealotofsodapop]

I just had a thought- Spicynoodles in the MKEgged AU would probably want to wait for a bit before giving Haoyu a bio sibling, both because of the initial fear that his pregnancy gave them and because Xiaotian's body needs time to heal because Stone Monkeys aren't really built for multiple pregnancies.

But that doesn't mean they can't adopt!

Now I'm imagining my idea ages ago of Spicynoodles kiddos, but a few are adopted. I did conceptualize them before I thought of Stone Eggs

First set of babus were; Xuancao & Yingsu [#1 & #2], Zishan, Shuixian & Chuju [#3, #4 & #5]. Origin Post.

Then came "Iron Fan drawn from memory" Tiemian [#6]. Origin Post.

Then "You sure Tang didn't just mitosis?" Yinghuo [#7]. Origin post.

And then the "Rambutan babies" Muxi & Mudan [#8 & #9]. Origin Post.

+some unspecified future triplets, and the occasional inclusion of bud's @nem0lux3 oc Hua Jiao!

I can now imagine with Haoyu's creation being unusual + his birth not ideal - MK and Red Son would be more open to adoption than creating a fresh Egg.

MK is hanging out with Nezha - tagging along for the Lotus Prince's regular god-duties of blessing newborns and kids on their birthdays; only for them to encounter an abandoned baby.

Haoyu has been asking for a baby sibling so...

(*MK approaches his and Red's shared home in the city, nervously holding the tiny stray baby in a sling. The baby has reddish-auburn hair, and dark skin that reminds him of his spouse - little vitiligo-like stripes mark her skin. MK breathes deep to psyche himself up before entering.*) MK, walking in: "Heyyy Red, don't be mad, buuuut when I was out with Nezha we-" (*MK stops suddenly at the sight in the living room. Red Son looks a mix of flustered, horrified and hopeful, as he rocks a baby demon in a car seat.*) Red Son & MK: "..." MK: "How about you go first?" Red Son: "Thank you. I was visiting my father's parents in Youdu, and when I brought up the possibility of us adopting a child, they mentioned that the Underworld has a pretty large population of unclaimed young souls so..." (*Red Son guestures to the baby in the car seat; it's a little girl with dark brown hair and skin tone similar to MK. Seems to be mixed human-feline demon.*) MK, realising: "Aw! You thought she looked like me and couldn't even wait to ask?" Red Son, adoring: "Yes! I met with Kṣitigarbha, and they brought me to the banks of the River by Naihe Bridge, and this little angel just... floated to the shore." (*Red Son gently kisses the baby's head*) Red Son: "They said that it's how little ones... enter the Underworld before they have the chance to be blessed. Their souls come to shore when they find someone to claim them." MK, leaning down to meet the baby: "Ohhh, a little floater baby. Hi!" Baby #1: (*barely old enough to smile. makes curious burbling sounds at MK and the other baby in his arms. Her hands have tiny claws, betraying her mixed demon heritage.*) Red Son, fixing on MK's baby: "What's the story with your little one?" MK: "Well now my story seems boring by comparison! Nezha has been helping train my astral projection powers, and he asked me to come along with him in spirit while he did his baby blessings. All was okay - I saw a lot of 100 day parties. But then Nezha got this look on his face, and we like swooped down to this riverbank where-" Baby in MK's arms: (*angry kitten-like sound*) MK, soothing her: "Yeah, baby, I'm telling them... She was all alone and... they tied her up in a bag. A bag, Red!" (*becoming distressed*) "Nezha was only able to sense her cus she just turned a month old and didn't have her Man Yue blessing. If we hadn't found her then-" Red Son, calming him: "Do not think about the buts, sunflower. She's with us now." MK, tear of relief: "Heh. Butts." Red Son, small laugh: "Puerile as ever... have you taken her to a doctor?" MK: "Even better! Your other grandma saw us after me and Nezha had her checked out by Chen Jiggu - you know the paediatric goddess? When I mentioned Haoyu wanted a sibling well... you know Xiwangmu." Red Son: "She shriek-roared, burst into tears, and started hugging you and the baby?" MK: "Yup. I could barely get a word out. She's already started calling her sūnnǚ and demands we organise a proper Man Yue party for her." Red Son: "I hope she feels the same for the stray I acquired."

After tending to both babies, the pair notice that they have eerily similar features to one another... as if they were twins or close relatives. They try not to dwell too much on the possible reasons.

Within a few hours, news of babies Xuancao (named for a flower of remembrance; Poppy) & Yingsu (their little Tiger-Lily who's stripes have only just developed) gets out.

Haoyu arrives home after spending the day with Granddadsy and Gonggong Tang to see a pair of baby sisters in his old crib. He's overjoyed and accidentally wakes them in his delighted hooting (much to MK and Red's dismay).

Pigsy and Tang had been there to drop Haoyu off, and they quickly recognise the little cries that followed the hooting. The poor pig man nearly has a heart attack XD

Pigsy, pointing at the baby girls: "Since when!?" MK, holding one twin: "Haha - would you believe less than a few hours ago?" Tang, joking: "Wow. You two worked fast." Red Son, holding the other twin: "They were not made in that manner!" Pigsy & Tang: "Huh?" Haoyu, excitedly: "Oh! I know! Lǎolao says babies float on the Underworld's river, and they get out when they meet their parents!" Tang: "Well, it's not exactly-" Red Son: "He's actually right in this case." Tang: "EH!?" MK, gesturing to the respective twin: "Underworld freebie. Above-world freebie!" Haoyu, smiling smugly: "Told you, Gonggong!!" Pigsy & Tang: (*both thinking hard*) Pigsy, shrugging: "Eh. I literally picked MK off the street. Finding one or two on the river ain't that odd. Now - let me meet my granddaughters." Both Babies: (*excitedly reach out tiny hands to inspect their grandadsy's face*)

MK and Red Son's phones are quickly blowing up with calls and messages asking "WTF!? Since when you two were pregnant?!" Wukong in particular calls worried out of his mind, asking if MK is ok and getting medical attention. Seems that a wire got crossed with Xiwangmu bragging about her new grandcub to who anyone who'd listen. XD

The bull grandparents, all three great-grandparents, and the extended Monkie Kids gang, happily accept the twin girls into their lives once the Spicynoodles couple finally manages to explain what happened.

Macaque: "You ordered one and got two. A great deal, in my opinion." MK, teasingly: "You're just saying that cus you managed to have twins too." Wukong, holding Rumble & Savage: "It's a fantastic deal either way!"

DBK and PIF in particular are overjoyed. They understand that a biological grandcalf is a huge risk to ask of the couple - so they happily accept the baby girls as if they were blood related anyway. PIF can finally spoil her girls with all the little dresses and accessories they could ever want. And DBK has a pair of tiny girls who have him wrapped around their little clawed fingers.

Any future spicynoodles babies likely have similar origin stories. At least one is a biologically-conceived child, though it's hard to tell when're all together and acting like they've always been together.

The whole family will fight whoever claims they aren't "real" children to them.

[revalition]

OCT 23 - PERCEPTION See, hear and smell everything. Let no detail go unnoticed.

perception my beloveds. my lovelies. my darlings. this one is pretty different from what we usually do, idk I wasn't feeling super excited about drawing their design multiple times so just let Conceptualization do whatever they wanted... :)

one thing that was important to me was they don't! get to have hands! because there is no Perception (Touch)! That is Interfacing's job, Interfacing is the fingers (and H/E coordination is the rest of the hands I guess)

anyway lots of quotes and rambly thoughts under the cut!

Okay I have to share this quote from a ted talk we (primarily Logic) watched:

"Imagine being a brain. You're locked inside a bony skull, trying to figure what's out there in the world. There's no lights inside the skull. There's no sound either. All you've got to go on is streams of electrical impulses which are only indirectly related to things in the world, whatever they may be. So perception -- figuring out what's there -- has to be a process of informed guesswork in which the brain combines these sensory signals with its prior expectations or beliefs about the way the world is to form its best guess of what caused those signals. The brain doesn't hear sound or see light. What we perceive is its best guess of what's out there in the world." - Anil Seth

and I was like oughhh this really makes me reconsider how I see Perception's role. There's other evidence that Perception's existence is more "in" the brain than many of the other skills... like, the physical brain, not the mind. Perception (Smell) even directly communicates with the Limbic System, who refers to them as the olfactory system. I touched on it a bit in my electrochemistry post but the olfactory system and limbic system share pathways in the brain which might be why those two are more connected. Of note -- the olfactory system is *only* smell, not any of the other senses.

limbic system even acknowledges it's unhealthy of perception to linger on the apricot smell so much. which is true -- you can even get the thought "Apricot Chewing Gum Scented One" which gives +2 to Perception upon completion.

It also raises the question of if perception observes all the senses and simply labels for you which one they are using to make the observation, or if each of the 5 senses is independent. bet you can't guess what our headcanon is on that :) (subsystem perception and drama my most beloveds)

is this making any sense?? are you seeing my vision here

anyway look how silly they are now <333

thank you perception (sight) it's a trivial check but I like that you could still fail it and just... not be able to see what the lieutenant is showing you

on the same vein I remember something from a while ago where someone had 0 perception and couldn't interact with any doors? My first playthrough I had 1 motorics and I feel like I remember putting something on that dropped my perception to 0 and I couldn't get into my room at the whirling... but I could be completely misremembering both these things. If this rings a bell please tell us haha

perception in the dream :(((

perception (smell)'s comment here is so funny to me. they are *so* excited to sneeze

your nose denying rhetoric's claims to smelling communism never stops being hilarious. it did *not* tell you that and it is not taking responsibility!

WHY is this perception (hearing) ????

nooo detective hyperopia go get reading glasses. Also harry can go find the prescription lenses and put them on and perception is like no! -1 perception! nausea-inducing hell glasses! which -- fair, they're the wrong prescription and probably for nearsightedness. but harry probably is like what do you waaant

yes yes I love this one

hghh perception fail nooo

does our harry have tinnitus? :(

thank you for the clarification on the speaker quantity

they get so excited when they get to smell something!!

perc (sight) calling you sir?

they like the well laid pallet <3

🥺

hggh perc (smell) is so funny

this whole thing, of you sniffing your nasty toilet ledger, is *so* funny. "Quelle fuckin' surprise" lives in my head and has been integrated into our vocabulary

a few more for the alternate dialogue choices!

Love this one... it's so cool.

super trustworthy perc (hearing) over here

rare wonderful perc (taste) !!!

thank you for the insight. this is a medium difficulty check btw

ty perception (sight) ily

description of how evrart's container smells if you were wondering...

though the perception passive fails are also always delightful --

PERCEPTION (SMELL) - ... an office? Something officious? Is that a word? There's a bit of dust in the air that may be triggering your allergies.

that is a word, but that's not what it means love. Authority is officious, not the shipping container

ough this one is such a cool quote. and it upsets you.

I just suffered volition damage from another perception quote (not included here) dammit. this game. Ily perception but also why you gotta perceive so much

love this one. love that perc (sight) is able to read the headline on a scrap of newspaper drifting by (legendary difficulty check)

lastly including this one... one of only two difficulty 20 passives in the game. The electrochemistry check is difficulty 14 -- he can pick up on it long before your nose has a chance to. the smell will haunt you forever.

there are also a few instances of Perception having dialogue without the sense being specified. I picked through my DE screenshots but didn't have any instances so I'm unsure if it's a fayde quirk or not. I feel like I remember seeing it happen in game but... not certain. It is interesting though, might happen when you're using multiple senses at once. Also seems to happen in instances where the touch sense would usually come in (there is no perception (touch)).

I assumed for ages that perception was the 5 senses, so realizing there's only sight, hearing, smell and taste was surprising. Interfacing takes over the touch aspect pretty much entirely. And the inland is your 6th sense ofc <3

also our Logic is the neuroscience nerd so if our amateur insights are wrong go ahead and call him out :)

Ok! that's it for perception!! not gonna finish skilltober by end of october but that's okay, it'll trail into early november a little

[rocketkid300]

so at first I thought the JJK finale was buns. And then I was mad. Then I thought about it a bit.

I think a lot of the stuff that Gege included within the final chapter (final few chapters ngl) is CONCEPTUALLY pretty good. Trio and all students surviving? Conclusion for the CG characters? Everyone moving on from Gojo because sorcerers should work together as a community and not rely on the strongest in a flawed system? Yuuji passing on encouragement to a new CG sorcerer to represent the next gen passing on their strength? All great points.

The problem was that it felt too fast paced. We didn't have time to really let the characters breathe and settle into the new world. No emotional conversations between the main trio, not even between Yuuji and Megumi. Just. Right back to it! And my biggest gripe was probably that there didn't really feel like there was a change to the status quo. Megumi's character didn't really feel like it had a proper conclusion, and we definitely should've gotten more from both Nobara and Yuuji about the new world they're in. Just killing the higher ups and putting gakugangi up there doesn't really make that much of a difference imo. And also everything with the foreign militaries? Ofc there was a lot of stuff implied w/ Mei Mei and the NSS clan stuff, and all the new CG sorcerers and etc, but honestly we just needed more.

That's when I realized the real enemy was Shonen Jump all along. Shonen Jump has extremely strict deadlines on the final chapter; meaning that once the final arc starts, the author would have to pick a date to end the manga and stick with it. But remember what happened a few months ago? Gege got sick around the time when the yuutago chapters dropped. He was out for a month. Thats anywhere from 3-5 extra chapters we could've had.

And that... really hurts. I genuinely think even 3 extra chapters could've fixed all the glaring issues with the last few chaps. More room to have emotional conversations, more to talk about the future of Jujutsu society/cursed energy, more change to the status quo, more actually cohesive character conclusions/interactions, even maybe a Gojo acknowledgement (yes ik the point is that the future gen will move on without him but I think it's unrealistic that the students don't look back on him fondly at least). Those extra chapters wouldn't fix everything, ofc, but it would definitely make things feel more complete. It sucks from a readers perspective, because we KNOW Gege can write really well. But I imagine it sucks even more from a writers perspective.

There's a lot of debate on whether or not Gege actually cares about JJK and its characters (especially when it comes to that six eyes freak ykwim), but even if his original ideas were scrapped, I think ANYONE who works on something for upwards of six years will feel some sort of love or care towards that project. I can't imagine what it must feel like to not be able to fully execute your creative vision because of health problems and the shitty cog-wheels of Shonen Jump serialization.

Ofc, I might be reading too much into it. Perhaps his leave of absence had nothing to do with how Gege ended JJK. Maybe this was his plan all along. The more I sit with it, the more okay I feel. We've known for a long time that the JJK ending wasn't going to be perfect. And yeah, we can (respectfully) mourn what we could've had but honestly? I had so much fun. I have never ever been involved in a fandom like this and yeah it sucked like 99% of the time but despite it all I had so much fucking fun. Say all you want about Gege's skills but you can't deny that he is amazing at creating compelling characters, cool power systems and emotionally packed plots. Yuuji, Megumi, Nobara and Maki will all be oh so dear to me forever. Yeah the ending could definitely have been better, but I'm willing to give him grace. If anything, I'm even more excited for his next work.

Anyways, I think that having all these plot holes and "wasted potential" might actually be a good thing in the long run. It can be frustrating, obviously, when you look at the story all on its own, but ngl fandom works best when we can fill in the gaps on our own. I'm looking forwards to seeing what everyone's gonna make from here on out! I definitely have a LOT of things I'd want to write about, maybe even draw ooh.

Incredibly longwinded way of saying: Gege, you aint so bad after all. And yeah, I think I'm pretty happy overall with JJK. Maybe a lil miffed about certain things, but I doubt I would be the person I am today without this godforsaken manga. How amazing is that? :)

[pitter-patt-art]

Ace Attorney AU August (halfway progress update!)

Okay technically it's the 16th (lol, 17th by the time this is done) so a little over halfway actually, but still I thought since I haven't had anything finished to post the past few days this would be a fun alternative!

I've been going a little nuts (affectionate) over @augustwritingchallenge's AU-gust prompts list this year so August has been a wild ride (about 40k words of one, in fact. so far.) but seeing as I will get attached to even the jokiest of AU ideas instantly, I've completed* a whopping 5 whole fics of 16, lol. Considering the shortest of those is over 3k and the longest is over 12k, I think the problem with not finishing these in a timely manner is entirely on my verbose foolish thick skull, haha, but I'm still having a blast with it.

Here is my ao3 series where I'm posting!

And a rundown / progress report / quick teaser of all the AUs including those I've yet to finish, if anyone's interested:

(*by "completed" I should note two of the already posted fics are basically assuredly going to be continued past the challenge, but let's say "completed enough to post and be on theme")

1. Canon Divergence - complete - 4.5k words ("For the Murder of Mr. Wrong" link)

Mia POV, gen. What if Dahlia succeeded in poisoning Phoenix and framed Doug Swallow instead (and then Mia defended him in court)? Basically a 3-1 rewrite. Fun Fact: I only came up with this AU because before I even remembered AU-gust existed at all, I'd come up with like 4 totally separate AUs in which I poison Phoenix in various ways With Real Consequences because it amuses me, lol, but he survives all those other ones and I eventually realized I hadn't even considered straight up killing him off yet so I figured I should try it at least once, haha.

2. Colorless - complete 1st chapter - 3.2k words ("Grey Matters" link)

Phoenix POV (for 1st ch --prob alternating after), wrightworth. "You can't see color until the first time you touch your soulmate"-soulmate AU. 1st chapter is their first meeting as kids (skipping the class trial itself). Fun Fact(s): I really love a color soulmate AU! Big fan of the "only see the color of their eyes" type of one too but uhhh on top of that working better for things that have wild anime eye colors, you could not pay me enough to try to figure out what the HELL is going on with Ace Attorney eye colors at any given time lmfao. (Also--spoilers for what i haven't written yet but hey if you're here you earned it--this IS one of my very many "teehee what if i poison Phoenix just a smidge as a treat for me" fics. NOT my fault the man ATE GLASS. That's on him.)

3. Dark Academia - complete "1st chapter" - 4.4k words ("The Spirit of the Laws of Magic" link)

Mia POV, lanamia. Magical boarding school setting featuring corruption and missing-student conspiracies and a most likely overthought system of magic with hierarchies and prejudices in societal views of academic/formulaic vs folk/innate magic. Fun Fact: I really thought for SURE i was going to skip this day entirely, lol. (foolish.) I don't think i've actually ever personally read anything "dark academia", technically--so if this doesn't read EXACTLY that way, there you go, but i did my best. I also then thought I could live with keeping this vague but I accidentally thought about it too long so... plus at least two people on top of myself at this point have expressed interest in more of this and so I have some semi-concrete Plans™ now.

4. Zombie Apocalypse - conceptualized (but not started)

Concept: probably gen and Phoenix POV, but also because I'm me and they're them, at least a little bit wrightworth even if it isn't necessarily explicit in any meaningful way bc they are Not Normal about each other lol. A little sketchy on how much of an "AU" this counts for, since it could probably be argued to be canon compliant somehow, but basically just: Universe where they make a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-type Steel Samurai reboot movie thing (featuring, you guessed it, zombies), and Miles comes over and forces Phoenix to watch it with him just to have someone to bitch about it at, and then during that time Maya blows her way into Phoenix's apartment as well with the exact same intentions except her "day job" isn't quite as time-sensitive-strict so she's already finished watching it earlier and knows all the spoilers. Honestly a good chance Phoenix and Pearl (who came with Maya) end up hiding out in the kitchen together to let Maya and Miles rile each other up in front of the TV, but I'm never exactly sure where they'll take me once I wind them up and set them loose on the page, so who knows. I also hadn't necessarily determined the exact time frame yet but for it to make sense as a reboot-type movie/special episode/whatever it probably should be 7yg-or-later so Trucy may or may not be there as well. (That said, in my struggles to complete an actually short one-shot, I probably shouldn't even include Pearl let alone Trucy, lol.) Fun Fact: I also thought I'd skip this day bc I'm not the biggest zombie guy in the world, and to be fair, I managed to do Way Less with it than the dark academia prompt so, yippie?

5. Chess Players - incomplete (currently 3k word WIP)

Miles POV, wrightworth. Miles is a chess grandmaster and back in Japanifornia for the upcoming world cup tournament, but his greatest challenge is actually to FINALLY best Franziska in their annual who-can-get-the-best-Christmas-gift competition. Luckily, he just so happened to hear of an artist who makes bespoke chess sets, so the plan is to get a custom board made for Franziska without her finding out. The plan is not to get trapped in a weird art collective labyrinth with some model-photographer named Cindy who keeps hitting on him but also happens to be protective of the artist he's there to see because "she and her boyfriend kinda-sorta owe him big time", but this is what he gets for coming here without doing any extra research into the artist besides seeing his work and hearing only "his name is White, or, eh, something like that, you know how those artist types are" from Mr. Amano. (AU where we replace law with chess and no I don't think Phoenix could necessarily hack it in the top-world-grandmasters-level of chess tournaments HOWEVER have you considered he DID go to art school so what if he just tries selling custom chess sets until somehow that reconnects him with Miles. Is that somehow a more insane plan than studying law? Maybe. Did Manfred still shoot Gregory but now it was over fucking chess? Maybe. Idk. But I did let Greg live this time at least!) Fun Fact: we can all DEFINITIVELY blame my lovely, terrible, very wonderful friend Ben (shameless friend plug! she's an outstanding writer and has some AA fics of her own too!! @kindlystrawberry on tumblr!!) for making a total joke about "well what about au where they make chess pieces instead" while i lamented not knowing enough about chess to write an actual match and spawning this ENTIRE concept. It is her fault. 100%. She is the guilty party. (I want to finish this one VERY BADLY. Save me.)

EVIDENCE!!!!! Guilty.

6. Reality Show - incomplete (currently 700 word WIP)

Phoenix (& Franziska) POV(s), background wrightworth wedding planning going on as set up but it's also definitely just one of my many excuses to set Phoenix and Franziska up as bitchy worsties who can't admit they enjoy each other's company and will cut you down if you suggest it as such. So far I've only written the quote "set-up" section which is in Phoenix's POV, but that was SUPPOSED to be like 5 paragraphs and cut away and then lead into my actual plan for the main body, which was to be in Franz's instead, so. This is very similar to the zombie one in that it's them watching reality tv instead of being contestants on a show (I don't personally like or watch a lot of reality tv so my creative well was somewhat dry on how to make that work) and then I accidentally thought about Phoenix and Franziska watching something just to judge and tear apart the decisions of every person on it and that was too fun to not consider further, haha. Basically the plan is just they get left alone together and don't know what to do with that and end up wine-drunk and making fun of some reality dating show of some kind and Miles and Trucy come back to them losing it together over something stupid and are like "......uh. what's happening." Fun Facts: I really love the thought experiment of Franziska somehow discovering how often Phoenix's internal dialogue/reads on situations and especially people can be So Bitchy And Judgey despite his affable complexion, and her unfortunately finding his opinions to SOMETIMES be somehow slightly okay. Moderately correct, even--occasionally. I know the section she follows you-as-Phoenix around in T&T is really not long at ALL, but I adore it. There's something about it that so badly makes me want to force them into proximity more (to both their chagrin, I'm sure).

7. Farm/Ranch - complete - 12k words ("Two Little Dickey Byrdes" link)

Gumshoe POV, gumbyrde (tho i still think dickeybyrde is a funnier ship name). 5+1 things--except more like maybe 7-or-8+1 to be honest--so it's more: over 5 times Dick and Maggey sit on a wall together and 1 time they find someone else there instead. AKA: Dick runs his family's small farm (think fantasy farm like in a farming sim or maybe horse girl novel type of thing that has nothing to do with what a real farm is like lol don't worry about it) and Maggey starts working at the next farm over as the latest of her many odd jobs. Fun Fact: oh god this one got so far away from me. it was not supposed to be this long lmao. it's literally the elaborate set-up to a very silly Nursery-Rhyme-I-Didn't-Even-Know-About-Prior-To-This -based punchline!?! still, i was pleasantly surprised by how happy i was with this once it was done... two sittings and about 16 total hours later. haha).

8. Nomad - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Apollo (or possibly Klavier) POV, klapollo. Sort of Jove-Thalassa swap adjacent, but basically: AU where Jove survives the Khura'in fire but loses his memories for [contrived convince sake reasons]. (And also possibly loses some or all of his eyesight just to really go for the parallels?) Therefore: Jove and Apollo stay with Dhurke and Nahyuta and the Defiant Dragons for a time, while Jove recovers, but eventually they leave and head out on their own, just the two of them, and do the traveling musician thing, both because it's dangerous in Khura'in and Dhurke already canonically didn't want Apollo to get caught up in it and potentially get hurt to begin with and because with a functioning actual parent Apollo doesn't need to be taken in by him--and also Jove from what little we know seems like he prefers to be on the move and was already a world traveler anyhow, so even amnesiac maybe he gets a little antsy stuck in one place too long. And so like amnesiac Thalassa, Jove thusly becoming a renowned mysterious musician--and then Apollo, sweet tone deaf Apollo, becoming the sonager of all time (like a momager but...you get it) because he's not that into music but he IS into arguing for better conditions/making deals (contracts!! international legalese!! woohoo!!) with venues and promoters and stuff. And then--oops dang Lamioir still exists and now they have a meet-cute (2 electric bugaloo) (but by then it's later enough Trucy still exists because it will be a cold day in hell when I don't find a way to make her work) and they do music collabs or join up to form a group or whatever and OOPS this means now that Apollo and Jove are with Lamioir when The Gavinners / Klavier specifically meet her and get her to come to do the Guitar's Serenade concert eventually. And Apollo and Klavier ofc thusly also have a meet-cute and then talk and bond etc etc. AND THEN the au STOPS THERE and I DON'T think about how without Apollo Phoenix is totally getting convicted of Zak's murder because there's no way that trial works out as well for him with some other attorney and I also don't think about how reasonable it would then be that maybe Trucy ends up helping Valant with his work setting up the trick for the concert afterward on account of the one father in prison and the other being dead and having left behind a notarized confession clearing Valant's name of suspicion, etc. AND I DEFINITELY do not think about how i could then still so easily get everyone in one place at the concert for Turnabout Serenade and/or any possible funny Sibling (And Thalassa) Reveal that could happen i dont i dont i do not--

9. Accidental Baby Acquisition - conceptualized (not started)

Gen, possibly my weakest / least defined idea on this list, but basically: Phoenix kind of already lives this in canon, lol (insomuch as an 8yo counts as a baby) so I thought, well, how to take it a different direction, then? And I thought, I don't usually go for a Phoenix Fey kind of au because I personally really love the relationships he has with all the Feys as-is in canon and so it's not quite as funny to me as, say, a Miles Fey AU where like Misty and Gregory are married, or any of the ones in that bent, because I'm sorry but that's just SO funny (and sad, but mostly funny) any way you slice it--plus his NAME is RIGHT THERE mia-miles-maya he FITS--anyhow, that completely aside, there are just a lot of reasons I really love the platonic relationships the Feys already have with Phoenix and I don't think it NEEDS to be made specifically familial to still be so very important, y'know? BUT. That said. AU where Phoenix is idk abandoned as a baby or maybe his parents die young or something and it's like a Thing to leave babies at temples or churches or whatever, right? So like--Phoenix adopted by the Feys AU but only because the more i considered it the more i thought it would be WILD for him to literally know Maya her entire life, and it's fascinating to me to consider a Maya who ISN'T basically left all alone to her own devices (and Morgan's) and who has someone absolutely in her corner in the village the entire time even after Mia leaves (who isn't a baby when Mia leaves, love you tho Pearls), AND also and perhaps more importantly, the ships-passing-in-the-night-ness of a scene where, like: Morgan does something sketchy or whatever and Phoenix wants to keep Mia updated but for whatever reason decides to go down to the city and actually tell her in person and so he's waiting outside the courthouse or something (possibly part of or perhaps Most Of the reason he goes in person is because he knows her first courtroom trial is that day and he wants to see her + hear how it went) and when he gets there she's in a heated argument with some asshole in a fancy over-embellished jacket and once that guy leaves Phoenix is like "Sheesh, what's his problem?" You know???? And maybe he really would never even know!!!! Bc he grew up in Kurain!!!! And has no reason to care!!! About some random prosecutor who was mean to Mia!! Aaaah!!! So that, and on top of that, Diego would be there too ofc at that point, and I feel like he would ALSO be quite a funny interaction in this scenario. ("Wow, someone's popular, kitten, you have all sorts of guys waiting on a chance to talk to you, heh?" "Uh.--I'm sorry, WHAT did you just call her")

10. Enemies-to-Allies - incomplete (currently 370 word WIP)

Ema POV, faraskye. Cyberpunk AU where Lana is still under Gant's thumb and Ema, with no other way to stay close to her and getting rejected from any of the sorts of jobs she really wants to do, decides to just join the security force (or cyber police or w/e I decide to call it) and is tasked with hunting down the Yatagarasu, guerilla hacker supreme who is threatening the sanctity of the capitalist overlords. Except Ema's squad gets ambushed and she's captured and tied to a pole, and with her useless fop partner seemingly not coming to rescue her (if he even noticed her absence), she does some quick cost-benefit analysis and decides she didn't really like that job anyway and maybe there's another way she can get her sister back in her life. So she breaks free of her own handcuffs (which she definitely didn't modify into incidental ineffectiveness she's still testing for bugs) and helps fix the "Little Thief" device her captor seems to have broken despite how obviously valuable and impressive the tech is, and they eventually come to something of an agreement. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and all that. Either Ema as the hardware-engineer one and Kay as the software-programming one as the two sides of the tech coin, or else Kay can just be like doing the physical sneaking kind of spy stuff only--or maybe she knows a little about software but not so much she's a pro the way she is with infiltration and such. Possibly toying with the idea Kay herself is just completely an android, but if not, I think she has some cybernetic cyborg things going on regardless. Possibly from or inspired by her father? I also like the idea that Gant did something maybe more drastic with regards to having dirt on Ema to get Lana to do his bidding--like maybe Ema has a whole cybernetic hand because instead of just her handprint on a leather jacket, Gant has some sicko jar with her entire hand in it in his office safe, or something. I don't know why this would be useful to him but it is certainly an image. I also find it funny if Miss Fingerprint Powder Enthusiast doesn't actually have any fingerprints of her own anymore somehow in this AU, lol.

11. Retail Worker - complete - 6.7k words ("The Bake Anything Boulangerie" link)

Apollo POV, gen. Phoenix gets a job at a bakery instead of the Borscht Bowl Club during the 7 year gap, and Apollo happens to stumble across it and ends up meeting the Wrights while he's still in high school. He becomes a regular at the bakery and is already close to them by the time "Shadi Smith's" murder comes around. And also, yes, sibling reveal right away--at least as soon as Phoenix realizes and can reveal it. As a treat. (Other reveals, though, I might put poor Apollo through on a delayed basis. Also as a treat, lmao, just not one for him.) Fun Fact: I'm being redundant bc this is also in my a/n, but, Baker Phoenix lives rent-free in my brain because Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright was in fact the very first Ace Attorney game I ever played, technically, and Maya and Phoenix semi-brainwashed in that bakery was literally one of my first impressions of them. ........followed immediately by starting a let's play of Justice for All (which i watched through the first case, after which I was like oKAY fine maybe i DO need more context here, i should probably figure out what the actual first game is, and went back to start the series properly at the beginning hahaha). What do you MEAN i have a disproportionate fascination with amnesiac Phoenix, even if I have yet to finish and publish one of my myriad AUs that utilize stupid, unrealistic, plot convenient re-temporary amnesia?? Hm???? Idk what you're talking about. Also everyone who complains about 2-1 is wrong lmao it's objectively (okay subjectively is what i'm saying yes BUT objectively) such a funny place to start without knowing broad plot strokes, it's great. I both knew so much and absolutely shit-all nothing about Maya after PLvPW and 2-1, LMAO. god.

12. Animagus Wings (Joker) - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Miles POV, wrightworth. Angel/Demon AU, except I'm playing super fast and loose with the rules on that because all my knowledge of Christian-mythos comes from firstly and unknowingly the Chronicles of Narnia and more recently and cognizantly Lucifer (Netflix) and Good Omens. I know that's probably more or less what we're all doing with this kind of AU but still, I'm not even sure I want to refer to Heaven and Hell here, I'm kinda on the fence about maybe just keeping it all very vague? I also accidentally semi-worldbuilt more than i intended incidentally on account of "But Then How-Why Names If Angelic Creatures?" Format-wise it would semi-follow gomens s1 where it's hopping through some meetings between long stretches but also a kind of pre- and post- Fall type of thing? And potentially à la Lucifer becoming, like, these are My Mortal Humans and i will be Spending Time With Them, screw you celestial duties, I'm making my own Free Will, etc. And i mean i guess Lucifer is also a crime procedural lmao maybe they still solve crimes in the end too. Fun Fact: I didn't want to do the original prompt for several reasons, and sure fuck jkr is one of them but even before I knew about her I still wasn't really the biggest hp person in the first place? So i wouldn't know/don't remember at all the way it works without having to do the specific research and i...don't want to haha. Hence. And I know the prompt seems to be using it loosely / might just be borrowing the word and not actually referencing hp specifically but tbh either way human-animal shifter things just in general I can be somewhat picky about haha. (Okay okay plus full disclosure the ONLY idea I have for this sort of thing actually ties into my day-3-dark-academia-extended-au-verse and i COULD make my life simpler by just connecting the two days but Heh who would I be if I simplified things for myself... *sigh*) All that to say: I saw "wings" on the wild card list and I thought, ooh, well that's still sort of a related concept! Let's tag that one in! So it's still kind of day 12 prompt-adjacent, if you squint.

13. Found Footage - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Video Transcript POV? Is that a thing? Possibly capped by a little Phoenix POV (but i don't want that to get too long), wrightworth. Larry's new girlfriend of the month bakes weed brownies and Larry does not realize this and swings by the Wrights' apartment to beg some kind of help off Phoenix and forgets the whole tray there somehow (because it's Larry) and they leave to deal with Larry's thing and by the time they figure the brownies out, in some twist of fate Miles and Trucy have been hanging out (last minute babysitter/adult supervision? but she's at the very very least 14 or 15 here and most likely older, and Nick clearly isn't the most strict about like uhhh supervision in general lol sooo idk. he's helping her with a project or smth. it doesn't really actually matter; he's THERE, that's the important thing.) The point I'm very clearly getting at is they accidentally get incredibly high (not dangerously so because I'm not going that far haha but also, neither of them has actually been high before, so they are Affected) before Phoenix finds out what was in the brownies and tries to warn Trucy and hurry home to like, dispose of them or at least put a warning label on them or whatever, but he is too late lol. By a lot. Definitely an underage drugs tag on this bad boy because it's definitely sometime 18-or-earlier for Trucy, let alone 21. (idk about other places but as a Californian I can tell you Japanifornia "LA" could theoretically have it legalized at 21 for anyone (like alcohol) and 18 with Dr's permission--which Trucy definitely does not have in this AU lol.) Basically, Phoenix grabs Trucy's phone to get photo evidence so he can let them never live this down (after making sure they're okay lmao), but he ofc doesn't get technology so he doesn't realize he leaves the phone still recording when Trucy asks him for something / needs his help, so the recording just keeps going and captures a lot of tomfoolery and eventually some inebriated-to-Extremely-sober Feelings-Adjacent confessions (or maybe more like allusions). Idk, this was actually a fic I thought of before August and wanted to use as an excuse to try a Weird Format for fun, but then i saw this was a prompt on the list and...well. Fun Fact: Cannabis was legalized in California on November 8, 2016 (the first election I could vote in!!! ......uh, rip. lol. but yeah babey I helped legalize weed at least!! gotta remember the positives), which means it was legal right in time for Miles' case(s) / Turnabout Goodbyes!!! Yay!! I mean, I suppose that's genuinely seriously one way to try to mitigate nightmares and manage insomnia--not that I think Miles Edgeworth would ever deign stoop so low as to use an aid to manage his severe PTSD and trauma symptoms, psshaw, who do you take him for? (Get these people some help lol. They all need so much therapy.)

14. Princes & Princesses - conceptualized (not started)

So I've been reading a lot (a LOT) of isekai and/or revenge reincarnation romance fantasy manhwas lately (like, oh, too many, hahaha. they're quite good and they're VERY popular in webcomics at the moment.) Soooo. Soft pitch: Apollo already gets slapped into so many wild backstories he's constantly trying to dodge in an effort to be just a Normal Guy, he's honestly, like, the PERFECT protagonist for one of these lmao. And tell me Kristoph doesn't make a perfect "Upstanding Duke" kind of persona, and Klavier couldn't be the "wild rake" younger brother no one expects much from, and all I'm saying is it wouldn't be that hard to contrive a reason Apollo tries to get Klavier to agree to a contract marriage the way all these stories go, lol. And also, something something, Apollo from the "real world" is an orphan/has an absent family (also like so many of these manhwa protagonists, lol) but then he gets to actually have one in his second life!! I'm such a sucker for that shit. Slightly harder pitch, and the reason I did not let myself actually start writing anything (...yet): so what if the actual plot of the "original romance novel" Apollo is familiar with from the "real world (Earth)" is actually about the slightly older generation and something something instead of admiring Phoenix as a defense attorney, it's just that he instead was Apollo's favorite "love interest" character (not, like, for himself, just the one he most liked to read about) in every way except what a blithering idiot he became when the author had him fall for the female lead--but BEFORE that, he's a cool information guild leader guy who seems like he's trying to work toward some way to improve conditions for commoners in the kingdom (but abruptly there are no more mentions of this after he gets involved with the lead, which is annoying). Aaaand... I guess what I'm saying is, Dahlia is the original female lead because she REALLY fits the whole White Lotus trope, and I'm thinking Klavier is the original male lead because A) hilarious, B) fits in with the idea there's more going on in the ACTUAL world Apollo ends up in that is written in such a way as to make things seem different in the novel (like, that Dahlia and Klavier are actually as nice as they seem and that the terrible things that happen around them are just the trials and tribulations of being main characters and not anything they're directly involved in). And Apollo, the character in the novel Apollo, is an adopted prince of Khura'in, but he's the sickly younger prince and of course not actually of the royal bloodline (and also a man, considering Khura'in is matrilineal), so Rayfa and Nahyuta are the ones the public and other nobles actually know and care about and deal with. But wait! As it so turns out, The Wright Anything Information Guild (I feel like the actual guild name CAN'T have their freaking name on it front and center lol but you get the idea) happens to know some other things that aren't really expanded on in the original novel, and might be key to preventing Apollo's death so he doesn't follow the path of the original story, and also idk maybe Apollo and Trucy are half-fae or something like that and instead of like Aw Yay Bracelet in this AU it's more of a secret Iron Shackle Tool That Will Hurt I Mean Totally-Definitely-Help Us Later (still, in a way, passed down to him by Thalassa, but more as, like... she's kind of a secret hostage and does not manage to hide pregnancy number one so Apollo's now also a secret hostage, but she manages to escape so they don't know about Trucy, only she didn't tell Apollo basically anything to "keep him as safe as possible" or w/e, and......) Well, anyway. It got away from me before I even really wrote anything, that's all.

15. Secretly Alien - unfinished (currently 2.6k WIP)

Trucy POV, gen. Apollo gets sick of very consistently always losing the card games they play at the Wright Anything Agency (usually and in the specific instance the fic starts, Bullshit/BS) and in a stroke of inspiration somehow ropes everyone into playing Among Us instead. ("What! It's still a game of trying to lie/trick everyone else--like you like!--but I actually stand a freaking chance, so we're playing this or I'm going home.") Yes. This is my Among Us AU. Hi. They play Among Us. I'm justifying this one as prime AU territory however because A) Among Us has to exist in this universe, and even more pressingly, B) I found a way to force Phoenix to have--for at least a period of time if not moving forward in perpetuity--an actual smartphone instead of a Nokia-type brick cellphone. Which even under the wild but somehow plausible considering Ace Attorney circumstances I contrived, is just automatically a complete AU lmao. Fun Fact: I am so mad this one wasn't just totally finished day-of, lol. Why I ever thought I could give myself run of an entire WAA 4-person conversation and NOT get instantly derailed is beyond me. (And I want to get the prosecutors there, too?? Someone take the characters away from me.) Anyway. No, I have not written ANY of the actual Among Us part yet. Sigh. Also I haven't personally played amogus since like, 2021? maybe? And I know (now) that it's been pretty updated since then, but, ehhh, I'm just gonna run off like, lockdown-era amogus rules and vibes, lol. If I can get to the game part.

16 - Hobby Drama - conceptualized

I'm going to go out of order this time to say: Fun Fact: I have ALWAYS wanted to write a Reddit-style fic!!! I absolutely love them and I've read some REALLY, really good ones, so I've always wanted to try my hand at it. So theoretically this is the perfect time to make that a reality and write a r/HobbyDrama subreddit fic, buuut I got stuck before starting because I'm torn on two possible routes to take it (I can easily foresee myself caving and just doing both lol). - Option 1: Steel Samurai fandom discourse, always a fun/funny thing to think about, definitely would enjoy having Maya and Miles post some stuff for that. - Option 2: courtroom law fandom discourse, because come ON, how are those galleries ALWAYS SO FULL. The little wiggling rabba-rabba onlookers have GOT to have investment in this shit. And why WOULDN'T they, honestly. I've seen those trials and I have, in fact, spent a Lot of time thinking about them, not that any posts I've made lately would reflect that in any way or anything. Like I know it's hard to tell, but if I can be invested in the Lawyers Fandom, who's to say the people in the courtrooms aren't????? And I LOVE an outsider POV fic actually, I think they're so fun. So anyway. Reddit fic. You will be mine. Just as soon as I can hone my energy

And, what the hell, since it's so late now by the time I complete this "Heh This'll Be So Quick To Throw Together" post, I'll include today's, too:

17 - Flower Shop - conceptualized (at work earlier today. lol)

AU where Daddy Hawthorne is like, 97% less shitty. And the Hawthornes have a flower shop instead of like a gemstone industry or whatever. And he takes both Dahlia and Iris with him instead of dumping one of his daughters at a fucking secluded mountain temple and seemingly forgetting about her forever. On second thought, maybe what I actually mean is he's like 999% less shitty, lmfao. Anyway, Iris POV, but Dahlia (while not a "nice" person by any stretch) is not pushed to such extremes or nearly as desperate as canon, so Valerie lives, Terry Fawles lives, Doug Swallow lives, and Dahlia gets to live a good life overall--because as much fun as I love using her as a villain, she's really such a product of the absolute worst circumstances and I really do find her interesting so I've been kind of wanting to explore her in a less cartoonishly evil light, haha. (Don't get me wrong, I do love the cartoonishly evil light too, but I like spicing things up sometimes.) Like, she does (more) normal teen rebellion things ("Look at my inappropriately older boyfriend, Dad" "I'm going to talk my way out of speeding tickets and petty shoplifting as a bid for attention" etc.) and she still totally orders Iris around and Iris still totally does whatever she asks very much to her own detriment and has to learn to break away and be her own person. Fun Fact: I have a very passionate love for Iris/Adrian Andrews. Is that. Um. Is that a ship anyone else has ever considered before? Is that just me? I'm not sure but very possibly I'll just make this a rarepair fic as a treat, for me alone, teehee. (Like... it's about the becoming the master of your own destiny it's about breaking out of codependent cycles it's about how I genuinely honestly think they'd be each other's type and have chemistry even though they've obviously never interacted lmao... idk what to tell you.)

AND THATS MY AU-GUST UPDATE POST!!!

If you made it this far, take a sprinkle of my undying affection, and may you be blessed with AU inspiration if you so desire it!! (If you do not desire it, hopefully you are not cursed with it. I do not take refunds if you are. Sorry.)

Wish me luck with completing some more fics soon!!! Unfortunately weekends are actually my least free time because I work the most and the earliest hours so I have less time and am more tired, but also on Wednesday I'm leaving for a family vacation, which will either be the BEST thing to happen in regards to AU-gust or the WORST thing lmfao. If nothing else I have 2 flights, and I actually Love writing on an airplane, so fingers crossed for it being Good. <3

EDIT: Now with part 2 for the rest of the month here!

[etirabys]

It's very sweet about CS Lewis to idiotproof Paradise Lost against atheists. He didn't have to do that. He was a Christian writer in a Christian society and I assume he could have gotten away with just talking to other Christians about it and ignoring annoying people who wrongly read subversion into Milton. Instead he gives us a Christianity 101 chapter in A Preface to Paradise Lost and says, "this is the theological canon of the church, and here is how Milton hews to it again and again".

So now I think I understand Christianity. Maybe?

CS Lewis, explaining the canonical beliefs: Everything in nature is intrinsically good. Bad things happen when conscious creatures become "more interested in itself than in God", or assumes it can exist independently of God, as when Milton's Satan says that he is "self-begot".

me: Just for fun, let me enumerate the possible answers to 'who begot us?' – (1) conscious supreme being – e.g. Christian God, (2) our parents – e.g. Confucianism, (3) the self, (4) the weight of human history – humanity co-creating itself by maintaining a matrix of culture, (5) Nature – non-conscious but still revered, e.g. planet worship / I hecking love science, (6) null answer – non-conscious material processes.

Lewis: God knows in advance that some conscious entities will voluntarily make themselves bad and also knows what good use He will make of their badness. As [Milton's] angels point out, whoever tries to rebel against God produces the result opposite to his intention. At the end of the poem Adam is astonished at the power 'that all this good of evil shall produce'. This is the exact reverse of the programme Satan had envisaged in Book I, when he hoped, if God attempted any good through him, to 'pervert that end'; instead he is allowed to do all the evil he wants and finds that he has produced good. Those who will not be God's sons become His tools.

me: That's such beautiful cope! I've heard the badly-articulated versions of that Christian belief but it turns out I'm unprincipled and like it when you, Charisma Stat Lewis, say it.

me: It's also hard not to speculate that this belief is more adaptive in a world with e.g. a 50% child mortality rate.

Lewis: Also, The apple wasn't magic. THE APPLE WASN'T MAGIC. The only point of forbidding it was to instill obedience. The disobedience was so heinous precisely because obedience was so easy.

me: it was a shit test

Lewis: The Fall consisted of man's disobedience to his superior and was punished by man's loss of authority over his inferiors – chiefly over his passions and his physical organism. "Man has called for anarchy: God lets him have it." After the Fall, understanding ceased to rule and the will did not listen to understanding.

me: okay so what about the physical organism

Lewis: Man used to control his erections before the Fall

me: what

Lewis: That's right. No accidental boners. No morning wood. No dead bedroom subreddits. You can clench your fist without being angry and you can be angry without clench your fist. The will controls the fist. The sexual organs used to be like that.

me: That follows splendidly from "man was punished by the passions overruling the will" and yet I wasn't expecting that at all. Probably because I'm female? I annotated your "the will did not listen to understanding" with "we didn't have akrasia before the fall", because akrasia is a big problem for me. But being horny isn't.

me: I mean, obviously some women are really horny and causes them to act in unwise ways, and some men aren't horny. But "single men under age 25 are the most societal-problem-causing demographic" is well known, and even outside that age range, men seem to be, like, "cursed with horny" in a way that requires managing & makes them miserable on a day to day basis... so it makes sense that male interpreters would identify that with the Fall. It's conceptually congruent in a way "the Fall caused childbirth to be painful" isn't.

Lewis: Anyway, the Fall – people overcomplicated it. The apple is just an apple. It's not an allegory. The Fall consisted of Disobedience – doing what your superiors told you not to do – and resulted from Pride, which is forgetting your place. This is what the Church has always taught. Milton states it in the very first line of his poem and all his characters reiterate it from every possible point of view. Don't read false emphases into Milton! This is what he is saying: obedience to the will of God will make you happy and disobedience will make you miserable.

me: Well, obviously you know that your modern reader doesn't like this. You're pleasantly cognizant of atheist readers who are into self-governance and equality.

Lewis: The modern idea that we can choose between hierarchy and equality is not quite right. The real alternative to hierarchy is tyranny. If you will not have authority you will find yourself obeying brute force.

me: I simultaneously have a suspicious-resistant feeling and the perception that, when people in my milieu disagree with this, your view is the baseline from which we deviate minorly. Any form of functional social arrangement is going to have something that looks like authority and obedience.

Lewis: Understand this: Milton's poem belongs to a hierarchical conception of the universe where everything except God has some natural superior and everything except dead matter has some natural inferior. Superiors should rule over inferiors. When Milton protests an instance of rule (he was against the monarchy of the Stuarts) he is disagreeing that the Stuarts are superior while still thinking that hierarchy is cosmically good. The justice or injustice of any given instance of rule depends wholly on the nature of the parties, not on any social contract.

me: I have little respect for Confucianism because it strikes me as so overtly a system of thought with no internal merit or wisdom on the micro, whose only function is to make society run on the macro. (I'm sorry to say "only" there, because that's a big function.) What you describe has the same feel. This isn't a great label for it, but I'd call both Confucianism and Christian hierarchy 'biological philosophies', in that of course this is the philosophy that materially deprived apes who want both power and stability would equilibriate on: a system of subjugation and cope. The hierarchical conception itself is "understanding ceasing to rule".

Lewis: [Lewis would doubtless totally own me. But he doesn't directly address this in anything I've read by him, and I can't simulate him in enough detail to generate his response.]

[bi-hop]

my thoughts on rgu ep 5

god, there's... a lot to unpack with this one! holy shit! where do I even get started... I guess just at the beginning like a normal person, but wow-

so we start off with Juri and Mickey fencing, which. I dunno if the show explained them as fencers before, but it makes sense. I like how close the two of them seem to be, even outside of the student council context. there was that whole library scene last episode of course and now this. Juri's insistence that his sword is not for battle seems important... but we'll get to that later, I guess

dear God please stop flashing back to his sister <- this will not stop

Utena being like "oh are y'all having a romantic moment" is so funny to me. the denial... Anthy isn't going to do anything, bro, she's engaged to you?

anyway we're back to Anthy playing the piano for everyone... and we're back to Mickey's backstory

I will say despite the clear importance Mickey places on music and therefore on how his relationship with his sister was destroyed once she quit playing the piano, it's HILARIOUS to me that his tragic backstory is... he convinced his little sister to do a concert with him and then got measles. okay.

^ LMAO HE SAID ALL THAT AND THEN ANTHY'S JUST STIMMING TO THE METRONOME

okay jokes aside it's also obvious to me why Utena is more invested in this story and Mickey's feelings towards Anthy than Anthy is. Anthy is fully devoted to being the Rose Bride and what that entails - devotion to whoever wins her in a duel. Right now, that's Utena. so why would she engage with and acknowledge Mickey's crush right now

"It's ridiculous to make a girl someone's bride because of a duel! I can't forgive a system that deprives someone of their personal freedom!" Finally!!!!!!! We finally get Utena fully articulating her issues with the Utena-sama and engagement spiel beyond the more surface level denials of "I am a girl who must be interested in boys because I am a girl" and "this is just weird" from a few episodes ago

My GF: ... okay so the student council saying that egg shit is just their Team Rocket motto-

MICKEY... You can't just plagiarize Utena's words and alter them to solely be focused on Anthy, that's not how this works-

Also, I know the student council is like... an apocalypse cult or whatever, but could you really disband it just because some random kid said so? Like isn't Mickey 13 or something. where is the head of the school in all this?!?

... WAIT WHAT THAT'S HIS SISTER.

[The camera cuts to me gagging as I am forced to process the implication that Touga pursued Mickey's sister out of... retaliation? An assertion of control over Mickey? To instill a reaction to 'fight for' what he wants and owns, but those things being girls in a more conceptual sense than anything true and real?]

And here we go... Anthy's likes again exist, obviously. She likes animals, she likes playing the piano, she presumably likes being in the greenhouse. But her desires are always secondary to her existence as the Rose Bride. what her fiancé wants matters more. If Utena were to beat her, she'd tolerate it, as we've already seen with Saionji. If Utena were to demand she stop talking to Mickey, she'd probably do so immediately. If Utena were to say she needed to stop playing the piano, she'd do it. And of course Mickey feels so attached and entitled and threatened after the Touga shit that he's like "well, I gotta duel Utena now". UGH!

Everything is Touga's fault- /j

There is clearly something being said as well in the way in which Touga's words are repeated and re-animated, focusing heavily on his exposed chest, but I don't really want to think about the ins and outs of that right now. [The camera zooms in on me shaking my head pensively.]

Utena def feels betrayed after all of that, though. SHE WAS ROCKING WITH YOU!!! SHE WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!

I can't quite word this, but the shadow girls' pirate spiel is clearly relevant. I just can't fully word why right now. I guess the analogy is that Mickey is so beloved for everything - smarts, piano, fencing, student council stuff - but he can't ever possess what he truly wants, which seems to be... I don't know, actually. The shining thing is how he words it, but maybe he's just looking for someone to inspire and support him? And he words it in this idealized way because no one in this fucking school is healthy or normal-

"I think being seated at the piano suited you much more." I AGREE! (And so does Juri... hm...)

Okay, so obviously Mickey loses. Obviously the new duel song is great. But I am continuing to think about how Mickey is both right and wrong here. He's able to intuit that Anthy is not happy over the dueling system, though she'll never let on to that. but he incorrectly assumes that Anthy will support him because 'I'M the one thinking of her best interests', conveniently forgetting that Anthy will always support the person she's engaged to. Who is Utena, not him at the moment. and of course the shock of that makes him lose. Then again though, maybe I'm falling into the trap too like him and assuming she's unhappy... lmao who knows

The reveal that Mickey's sister was actually shit at the piano and he just didn't notice (and neither did the guy who had a crush on her)... something is going on there about idolization! Something! I wish I was like ten percent smarter today, it's slipping through my fingertips

Anyway, good episode, made me sick to my stomach in some parts! Excited for Anthy being put on trial for attempted murder next episode-

[therobotmonster]

Gah, I love Turtles of Grayskull!

I'm on record for rambling about how much I love MOTU origins, an action figure line that provides solid value, craftsmanship, and a sense of fun in an era where everything is increasingly none of those things.

And Turtles of Grayskull understands both its contributors spirits intimately in a way many nostalgia projects don't.

Because nostalgia remembers the cool very easily. But it rarely remembers the silly and the stupid-fun.

You buy a bus ticket to "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" or "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe" and you have to know that route will be winding almost exclusively through Historical Crazytowne.

And the Turtles of Grayskull/MOTU Origins team gets this. This isn't some Batman/TMNT crossover where they give you a bunch of cool mutant Arkham Villains and deny you toys of them (but a Michaelangelo wearing the bat-cowl is worth a sculpt, eye-roll).

Recent-ish stuff to ramble about:

Okay, not only is this just an awesome Hordak variant, he's conceptually blended with Lord Draxum. You've got the mutant bat-wings, to go with Hordak's vampire thing, but his shapeshifting weapon arm from the toon is very clearly a mutagen-blaster evoking the mutagen-mosquitos. You've got the shoulder pads evoking Draxum's little gargoyle boys. Fantastique!

I had wondered who Casey was taking inspiration from for awhile, but apparently the lore got revealed from his packaging, he's combined... with the WEAPON RACK/Pack.

Well, technically he raided it, but it's a clever option when it would have been easy to just put him in Man-at-Arms gear or give him a Man-E-Faces gimmick. Deep cuts are appreciated, as is that delightful amount of accessory swag.

Stealth Leo is just a cool Leonardo figure. He's the reason for my hypothesis that Mattel is low-key pitching to be the main TMNT figure company. April gets a sweet power up by being Combined with Zo-ar and the Sorceress, and the amount of new sculpting is impressive there. Nobody would have blinked if she'd been 90% Sorceress parts, so I appreciate it.

He-Man goes stealth ninja after he's de-mutated. that's cool I guess, but He's probably going to wind up with a different head when I get him. Skeletor, however, is everything you want in a repaint guy. 90s neon? Check, kusari-gama with goat skulls? Check. Tube of mutagen? Check. He's obviously a premold for the 2005 Samurai Skeletor but who cares? He's green!

Splinter-Skull is mostly OG Playmates Splinter, down to the face design, but he's got just enough King Grayskull in him to keep him a fun hybrid. In fiction, this is is the spirit of Grayskull taking on a form to match both sets of heroes asking for his help. Fun!

Leatherhead, on the other hand, is just Mattel auditioning to make normal TMNT toys again. Toss some WWEternia legs with some pants on that guy and he's basically the best and most in-scale Leatherhead to not come out of NECA. I look forward to the use of that tail on many, many snakemen related characters to come.

And yet there's more!

I thought this was going to be a four-wave limited thing. But apparently they're just keeping the train rolling until the wheels fall off, to which I say...

Wave 5 has been semi-revealed (no pics yet) and it's:

Variant Donatello, Variant Raphael, Mekaneck, and Rattlor!

Donnie and Raph are going to be costume variants like Stealth Leo, though I'm hoping they're not also stealth versions, because there's tons of other options to pull from.

My druthers would be them with accessory pak themes (cliff climber Raph, Scuba-Attack Donnie (to nod at the wind-up swimming donnie toy), etc). The Dontatello #1 gauntlet could be a fun accessory, and I wouldn't say no to a "slime pit zombie" Raph, but we'll have to wait and see.

The real thing that has me hyped is Mekaneck and Rattlor. I love reptile-people, and the Snake-Men give me a lot of them, so I'm always glad to get more options.

Mekaneck is one of the dorkiest MOTU characters and is thus one of my favorites. He's immensely goofy, and his origin implies that Man-at-Arms decided to fix the guy's broken neck by chopping off his head and giving him an extendable robotic spine. He also has the advantage of just being somebody's dad.

His son is named Philip, by the way.

I can't imagine them not making Mekaneck a wildly mutated weirdo. They had to pack his origins figure in with the road ripper to make him appealing, so I'm pretty sure he's gonna be a mutant. Fingers crossed for a giraffe head. Bonus points if its some kinda blue eternian giraffe or something.

And Rattlor, man, I want him to be a full on character hybrid so bad. Options: Tokka (snappers do have long necks), Snakeweed, Rat King (King Ratsnake?), Hothead & Scaletail.

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x42 - Silence on the Ocean Floor! Whamon / Under Pressure

Previously on Digimon Adventure: Piximon's sacrifice got the kids away from the Dark Masters, but only for like five minutes. Chomping at the bit for some action, MetalSeadramon bolted straight out there set Anomalocarimon on fire. Whamon snuck away the kids. That's a whoopsy-doodle.

As with last episode, before we can begin this one, the dub needs to finish the previous episode.

We open back up in the ocean, with the kids floating in the water and MetalSeadramon towering over them. His River of Power finishes off Zudomon, launching Gomamon straight into Joe's face. Sadly, this goes unremarked upon.

Gomamon: AUUUUGH!!! (sploosh) MetalSeadramon: You're finished, you upstart DigiDestined! In a word, you're sunk! (Whamon's silhouette passes under them) MetalSeadramon: Huh? Who is that? Tai: IT'S WHAMON!!!

Whamon headbutts MetalSeadramon into the water, then scoops up the kids in his mouth.

Tai: Come on, everybody! I never thought I'd want to be fish food but we'll be safe in here! Izzy: Technically, it's a mammal!

Okay, Tai's quip was cute but Izzy Um Actually-ing him in the middle of this crisis sells it. XD

MetalSeadramon: Grahh! You've escaped this time, but you've escaped for the last time!

Once MetalSeadramon's finished shaking his proverbial fist at the kids and threatening revenge next episode, we begin next episode.

MetalSeadramon: Curse those Chosen Children....

Four little Digimon with sea jets turn up, reporting in to MetalSeadramon.

MetalSeadramon: Hangyomon? Hangyomon: We're sorry to be late, sir.

Hangyomon is a Perfect-stage Data-type Aquatic Beast Man Digimon. Lot going on with that classification. The name comes from the word 半魚人 hangyojin which means "Half Fish Person". It's a mermaid. Hangyojin are Japanese mermaids.

Hangyojin aren't as consistently designed as mermaids, though. The uniformity that dominates mermaid designs isn't present in traditional hangyojin lore. Basically any combination of Fish Stuff and Primate Stuff can be a hangyojin.

So we get Hangyomon whose name is "Half-Fish mon". It would be super easy to call them Mermon in English, it's right there, but I guess they aren't mermaid enough so they end up being Divermon. That's fair, probably less confusing that way.

In any case, Hangyomon is a Deep Saver from the .5 updated release of the V-Pet. Super fittingly in a "I see what you did there" way, they replace Anomalocarimon on the roster for the updated version.

Narrator: Hangyomon. An Aquatic Beast Man Digimon who swims deep in the oceans while wearing a wetsuit. His special attack is Strike Fishing. MetalSeadramon: Forget it. I control these waters. The Chosen Children can't escape me no matter where they try to run; Not even with Whamon helping them. Now go! Capture the Chosen Children! All Hangyomon: (English) Aye-Aye, Sir!

The Hangyomon dive beneath the water. MetalSeadramon lets out a furious roar that honestly sounds more like a death rattle and then plunges into the water as well.

In the dub, MetalSeadramon has questions.

MetalSeadramon: Why did Whamon stick his spout in my business and save the DigiDestined? (The Divermon pop up) MetalSeadramon: What are you doing here, Divermon? Divermon: We just came up for a little air! MetalSeadramon: (rundown) Those Divermon! If it wasn't for their Striking Fish attack, they'd be useless to me. MetalSeadramon: No matter. Wherever those kids try to hide, I'll find them. I rule this ocean with an iron hand, an iron tail, and an iron everything for that matter! I'll catch them even with Whamon on their side! ...well, don't just sit there treading water; I told you to GO FIND THOSE KIDS!!! All Divermon: Aye-Aye, Sir!

That "iron everything" bit is nicely punned. MetalSeadramon is proud of his near-completely Chrome Digizoid body and frankly he should be. He worked hard for it.

Striking Fish. Oh my god. XD Like. Conceptually, it's not that different from what Strike Fishing implies but it somehow sounds way lamer. That's not a mistranslation; Like most proper nouns, the attack name was in English. They made a choice to move the -ing and make it Striking Fish.

Weird choice to imply that the Divermon came by purely out of coincidence. The dub's still downplaying that his "minions" are a formal military.

Whamon ferries the children back up into breathable air once they're far enough away from MetalSeadramon.

Taichi: You saved us back there, Whamon! Koushiro: Really! I thought we were done for. Whamon: I'm glad you're safe. Yamato: Hey, Whamon? Do you have any ideas for how we can defeat the Dark Masters? Sora: Why did they do this to the Digimon World? Whamon: Unfortunately, I don't know all the details. I just felt the world shaking all of a sudden, and then the world became like this. That was when MetalSeadramon took control of the oceans.

Taichi angrily punches Whamon.

Taichi: Damn that MetalSeadramon! Hikari: (hug) Onii-chan, cheer up. Taichi: (sheepish) ...yeah. You're right. Let's all stay positive! Group: Yeah! Whamon: Yes, let's all keep our spirits up. I don't know if there's anywhere safe left in the world, but we should try to find somewhere that MetalSeadramon can't reach.

Also, if we can, try not to punch our friends anymore, Taichi. :P

In the dub:

Tai: Thanks for saving us, Whamon! Whamon: Aww, don't mention it! No, seriously, don't mention it. I don't want it to get around.

...not sure what that's supposed to mean. Is Dub Whamon embarrassed to be associated with the DigiDestined? This feels like they slapped in one of those jokes where the punchline is just the characters being mean to each other, without any regard to context.

I could get it if it were someone like Ogremon delivering that line, but it seems weird here.

Matt: Hey, guys? We still have a problem. How are we gonna be able to defeat the Dark Masters? Sora: I wonder how they took over the Digital World in the first place? Do you remember, Whamon? Whamon: Of course I remember Whamon! Big fella. Snappy dresser. Oh, you mean the Dark Masters? I don't know all the details, but soon after the Digital World began to warp, MetalSeadramon began to take over the ocean. Tai: (punches Whamon) DARN!!! Whamon: Ow! Tai: Oh, uh, sorry, Whamon! Kari: (hug) Tai, don't get upset. We'll fix things. Tai: You're right. We'll do it. We've done it before, haven't we? Group: YEAH!!! Whamon: That's the attitude! I'll find a safe place for you outside of MetalSeadramon's reach even if I have to swim to the far corners of the ocean! By the way, did I mention I charge by the mile?

Yeah, they're definitely having Whamon reach for whatever punchlines he can get his flippers around to try and ease back the tension.

"Of course I remember Whamon!" got me though. XD That's the best of the lot. I also appreciate that they have Whamon react to Tai punching him.

If you look closely in the image, you can see others around him looking with wide eyes down at Whamon as if to imply a "Uh, Taichi, maybe don't?" reaction but nobody says anything and the scene moves on, more focused on addressing Taichi's frustration than the fact that he punched Whamon.

I do like the "Let's stay positive and keep our spirits up" conversation better than the "Yeah, we'll figure out how to solve this" conversation, but it's nice for someone to remark on the punch before segueing into that.

From here, we briefly see the Hangyomon searching an undersea ruin for the Chosen Children, as well as hassling some of Gomamon's Marching Fishes. Then we rejoin the kids at a crescent-shaped island, stopping for lunch.

Yamato plays his harmonica while Taichi and Jou fish with traditional poles. Meanwhile, the Digimon strut their stuff and demonstrate their own techniques.

With flying fish jumping overhead, Tailmon steps up to the plate. She finds her moment and leaps into the air, slicing two of the fish into neatly cut segments which fall nicely onto the plate. Then she does a little bow to complete he maneuver.

After that, it's Palmon's turn. Utilizing her Poison Ivy, she manages to rip a huge fish right out of the ocean! So huge, in fact, that it crushes her on landing. Whoops.

This error also un-catches the fish Tailmon caught. It happens so fast that it can be difficult to make out, but when the giant fish lands, you can barely make out the plate getting knocked offscreen and scattering its contents. Goodbye, nicely cut flying fish.

None of this has any dialogue, but you know how the dub feels about that. They kick us off with Gatomon singing a little blues ditty to go with Matt's harmonica.

Gatomon: Cats land on their feet / But we still need to eat! / It's Gatomon's wish / For some fresh flying fish! / 'Cause I'm a kitty! / A Digi-kitty!

As if summoned by her singing, the fish appear and she goes to work. She remains silent for as long as her mouth is onscreen, before wrapping up.

Gatomon: Ohhh yeeeeeah MROWR! Palmon: That's great, Gatomon, but the rest of us have to eat too! Stand aside and watch how a pro does it. (Palmon attempts to fish and has violent regrets) Palmon: ...dinner is served....

This is all really cute. Both Gatomon's song and Palmon's use of the stock "Yeah well WATCH ME TRY (immediately fails hard)" gag. Though to be fair to her, she did catch an impressive fish. It's still caught, if she KO'd herself in the process!

Suddenly, Yamato stops playing, prompting a conversation.

Taichi: What's wrong, Yamato? Yamato: Can we really win against the Dark Masters? Taichi: (sigh)

The harmonica music starts back up again here, despite the fact that Yamato isn't playing.

Yamato: They're not like the other Digimon we've fought before. Can we really beat them with our usual methods? Koushiro: (approaches with his laptop) There may be a possibility with WarGreymon. Taichi & Yamato: Eh? Koushiro: The Dramon Killer.

The word "Killer" here is in English, like most proper nouns. In a sense, so is Dramon, since it's the Digimon equivalent of "dragon".

Yamato: Dramon Killer? Taichi: What is that? Koushiro: (pulls up the Digimon Analyzer) It's the weapon that's on WarGreymon's arms. According to the Digimon Analyzer, this weapon is highly effective against Dramon type Digimon. Dramon Killer. If he uses this, we may have a chance. Taichi: That's a great idea, Koushiro! The Dramon Killer? HEY!!! AGUMON!!! IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE!!!

Taichi whips around in time to see Agumon, jaw unhinged like a snake, swallowing the entire giant fish Palmon caught whole. And alive, as it flops its tail desperately in protest. He can't even get it all down, ending up staring helplessly at Taichi with a distended stomach and an unswallowable fin sticking out of his mouth.

Taichi: ... Yamato: .... Koushiro: .... Taichi: G-ganbare... Agumon: (reluctant) ....nnnngh okay....

We're all familiar with ganbaru by now; The Japanese cultural idea of perseverance in harsh situations through hard work and dedication.

Taichi, stuck for anything he can possibly say about the mostly-swallowed fish stuck in Agumon's throat, weakly offers it up as a punchline to encourage Agumon to finish this stupid ordeal he's begun. The moment of inspiration and hope has been utterly vanquished. XD

With regard to Koushiro's exposition, you may have noticed that WarGreymon's Digimon Analyzer rundown said absolutely nothing of the sort about him having some sort of super-powerful anti-dramon weapon. So this has all the energy of something the writers pulled straight out of their assholes.

I'm not 100% but I don't think it is, however. So far as I can tell, Koushiro is reading this right out of the Metal Empire V-Pet's bios, which includes the statement, "The 'Dramon Killer' claws on both of its arms can easily defeat dragon-type Digimon."

It also tells us that WarGreymon's armor is made from Chrome Digizoid, which the rundown also did not see fit to mention.

However, that archived web page is from 2010, a decade after this episode aired, so I can't say with certainty whether this information was included in the original V-Pet or not.

The dub can't use ganbaru so they're going to have to write their own punchline here.

Tai: Why'd you stop playing, Matt? Matt: Aww, that song is just too depressing. It always gives me the blues. Tai: (sigh)

The dub does not inexplicably start Matt's harmonica music up without him here. It does play music, but different music.

Matt: Besides, I can't stop thinking about the Dark Masters. They're different from any Digimon we've ever faced before. Izzy: (approaches with his laptop) Well, I've analyzed the situation and I believe we can defeat them with WarGreymon. Tai & Matt: Huh!? Izzy: He's a Dramon Destroyer. Matt: Dramon Destroyer? Tai: Try speaking English. Izzy: (pulls up the Digimon Analyzer) Well, you see, the weapons on WarGreymon's arms are the key. They're especially effective against Dramon type Digimon. Hence the phrase Dramon Destroyer! With these devices, we might be able to defeat the Dark Masters. Tai: Izzy, you're a genius! Dramon Destroyer, huh!? Agumon, you're going to eat those Dramon alive! (Agumon is making bad choices) Tai: ... Matt: ... Izzy: ... Tai: That's not what I had in mind!

Izzy's exposition is a little off. He says WarGreymon is a Dramon Destroyer, as opposed to WarGreymon having Dramon Destroyers. But I think that's fairly minor mistake. Also, it's Destroyer, not Killer, because obviously that was gonna get changed.

While Agumon is busily erasing everyone's appetites, Gomamon swims with his Marching Fishes, who report in what they saw.

Fish: We saw Hangyomon. Gomamon: WAUGH!!!

Gomamon panics so hard that Jou ends up yanked into the ocean by his fishing pole.

Gomamon: GUYS, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!! Jou: (sopping wet and unenthused) What is it, Gomamon? Gomamon: THE ENEMY IS ON THEIR WAY!!! Jou: WHAT!?!? Piyomon: Where!? Where!? Sora: I don't see any sign of them. Whamon: The fishes say they've spotted MetalSeadramon's forces two hundred units of distance away. Kids: EHHH!?!? Takeru: What do we do? Patamon: Takeru.... Whamon: They'll be here soon. Everyone, get inside. I'll try to shake them by widening the distance between us.

Not sure how Gomamon knows that the Hangyomon are aligned with MetalSeadramon. Did Whamon brief them on the Deep Savers Ankoku Gundan membership roster?

I am very shaky on this one but I have gone over Whamon's line over and over for like twenty straight minutes and I swear they never give a unit of measurement.

The dub and sub both have them say "200 miles" which doesn't seem like an "Everybody panic" situation. Also, Japan uses the metric system, so a measurement given in "miles" is usually suspect. I've seen other sources offer "200 meters".

However, as best I can tell, what they say is that MetalSeadramon's forces are "ni-hyaku no kyori de". Ni-hyaku is 200, but kyori is the word "distance" rather than any specific measurement.

So unless there's some nuance here that I am not understanding (that's a possibility), MetalSeadramon's forces are 200 distance away.

In the dub:

Gomamon: Hey, fishes! Learn anything new in school? Fish: We learned Divermon are in the area. Hahaha! Gomamon: HUH!?!? (Gomamon yanks Joe into the water) Gomamon: HEY GUUUUYS!!! WE GOT TROUBLE!!! Joe: (sopping wet and unenthused) I caught a whopper. Look. Gomamon: DIVERMON ARE HEADED THIS WAY!!! Joe: WAAAAAAUGH!!! Mimi: Not Divermon! Anything but Divermon! ...by the way, what are Divermon? Whamon: Oh, those are MetalSeadramon's henchmen. It seems the fish have seen them about 200 miles behind us. Kids: HUUUUH!?!? T.K.: What are we gonna do? Whamon: Well, we can't stay here! They'll find us too easily! I'm gonna dive. Quick, everyone get inside me! And don't mind the smell; I had fish for lunch. Kids: EWWWWW!!!

As noted, the dub presents the ambiguous measurement as 200 miles which. Like. That's pretty fucking far. I feel like we have time to finish lunch before we get going if they're that far out.

While the kids and Whamon vacate their little island, we cut to the Hangyomon scouring the ocean.

They seem to be communicating with each other through some kind of radio communication, though no device is ever shown.

Hangyomon 1: Areas 13 through 18 are all clear. Hangyomon 2: Areas 23 and 24 are clear. Hangyomon 3: (with MetalSeadramon) How long will this delay last!? Why can't we find that huge lump of a whale!? MetalSeadramon: There's no need to rush. Hangyomon 3: Huh? MetalSeadramon: I control the ocean. No matter where they run to, I'll have them sooner or later. Hangyomon 3: Sir. MetalSeadramon: Just relax and enjoy the hunt. Hangyomon 3: Sir! MetalSeadramon: Hehehe... Chosen Children, the hunt has only just begun.

MetalSeadramon's pretty chill. His dub counterpart, on the other hand, remains a hot-headed firecracker.

Divermon 1: Red Leader to Blue Leader, Areas 13 through 18 are clear. Divermon 2: Gold Leader to Blue Leader, Areas 23 and 24 are clear too! Divermon 3: Listen Phil, Sid, how many times do I have to tell you guys, there are just three of us! You can call me Jim! MetalSeadramon: Will you guys KNOCK IT OFF!?!? Divermon 3: Sorry! MetalSeadramon: Do you smell something? It's the scent of DigiDestined in the current. Either that or there's a bad patch of seaweed around here. Divermon 3: Ew. MetalSeadramon: THIS IS MY MOMENT TO SHINE!!! Does my hair look alright? Divermon 3: Yeah.... MetalSeadramon: YOU DIGIDESTINED FOOLS!!! YOU CAN SWIM BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!!! GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The "Stop using shitty code words and use our names" stock gag doesn't work so well when every member of a species has the same name. They try to differentiate by naming them Phil, Sid, and Jim, but that's not how Digimon names have ever worked so the joke's a little confusing.

Titles like Red Leader, Blue Leader, and Gold Leader make a lot of sense for multiple members of the same Digimon species.

"Does my hair look alright?" got me, though. XD

Bit of a plot difference here, though. The dub suggests that MetalSeadramon and Divermon have caught Whamon's trail and are closing in on them, while the original conversation is that they haven't found anything but MetalSeadramon's content to take his time.

Also, they say that there's three Divermon, but there are actually four. Only three are involved in this conversation, but there's four in total. We saw them when they first reported in to MetalSeadramon.

Back to Whamon, the children are chilling out inside that big chamber in his stomach that they once destroyed a Black Gear in. Koushiro is hard at work on his laptop. Wires coming down from the center of Whamon's chamber are plugged into the back.

Tailmon: Koushiro, what are you doing? Koushiro: Give me a minute. Taichi: Come on, stop stalling and just tell us. Koushiro: (more forceful) You'll see in a moment.... (Laptop beeps) Koushiro: There, it's connected!

Everybody gathers around Koushiro to see for themselves. On his laptop screen, they can see the ocean terrain moving around them.

Group: Ahh? Tentomon: Koushiro-han, what is this? Koushiro: I've linked my laptop up to Whamon's sensory information so that it can be transmitted to the screen. Patamon: Transmitted? Koushiro: In other words, what you're seeing here is exactly what Whamon is seeing right now.

Koushiro has gotten so good at this in the time he's been here.

In the dub:

Gatomon: What's that noise? I was taking a catnap and it woke me up. Izzy: (annoyed) I'll explain later! Tai: Oh, come on! You think I'm too brainless to understand!? Izzy: Yes, but I'll tell you anyway. Check it out. (The group gathers around Izzy) Sora: What is it? Mimi: What did you do, Izzy? (Sea floor visible through laptop screen) Sora: What a cool screensaver. Izzy: It's not a screensaver. Mimi: What is it, then? Izzy: I connected to Whamon's hard drive and rerouted all of his sensory information to my computer. Patamon: Rerouted? Izzy: In other words, what you're seeing on the screen is exactly what Whamon is looking at right now.

I cannot get over how much of a smug asshole the dub made Izzy, a character so polite that it weirded out his mom and became a plot point.

Also, I feel like rerouting Whamon's sensory information would have blinded him. That seems like a bad explanation.

The children celebrate Koushiro's accomplishment. Mimi gets up and starts swinging Palmon around and twirling from excitement.

Yamato: That's amazing. Mimi: WOW!!! IT'S LIKE WE'RE IN A SUBMARINE!!! Koushiro: Of course, this can only be done in the Digital World.

Suddenly, Hikari grabs her ears in pain.

Tailmon: Hikari, are you okay? Taichi: What is it, Hikari? Hikari: I'm okay. It's just mimi. Group: MIMI!?!?

Everybody jerks up and yells at Mimi at once, who abruptly stops spinning - in the process, losing her grip and throwing poor Palmon down on her face.

This is a comical misunderstanding pun. Mimi is the japanese word for ears. Hikari is complaining that her ears hurt, but everyone thought she said that Mimi was causing her pain.

Mimi: Eh? Now that you mention it, my ears hurt too.... (Everyone grabs their ears, now feeling it too) Whamon: Ohohoho, I'm sorry. I must have been in a hurry and dived too deep. I'll adjust the air pressure.

True to his word, Whamon releases air through their blowhole and the kids feel better.

Takeru: Ah, much better! Koushiro: So the pressure changed because you swam to the ocean floor. Hikari: Thank you, Whamon!

Meanwhile, the dub... Oh, fuck me, we handed them a scene based on an untranslatable pun in which everyone yells at Mimi, didn't we? Okay, here we go. Let's see what they do with it.

Matt: Cool! Like a submarine! Mimi: Oh boy! (starts spinning) I've always wanted to go on a submarine! Joe: I think she's been out to sea a little too long. (Kari grabs her ears in pain) Gatomon: Yeah, I hate square dances. Tai: What's wrong, Kari? Kari: It's my ears. They're starting to hurt. Tai: Mimi! Stop! Be quiet! (Mimi stops abruptly, flinging Palmon) Mimi: Oh! Hey, y'know, my ears hurt a little too. (The kids all grab their ears) Whamon: Ohoho, sorry! I dove a little too fast. I'll fix the pressure now. Hold on. (Whamon releases air through his blowhole, making a burp sound) T.K.: Aw, that's better! Izzy: Well, I guess that's one way to equalize the gas pressure. Kari: By the way, you're excused!

You know what, that was astonishingly well-restrained of them. Tai yells at her to be quiet but in a reasonable way. Joe and Gatomon do make quips at her expense; Joe's is funny, but Gatomon should probably have more concern for Kari's sudden agony.

Still nowhere near what I was dreading.

Suddenly, a loud rotor noise starts echoing through the chamber.

Piyomon: What's that sound? Mimi: Eh? Palmon: (delirious) Agh... what's wrong...? Koushiro: Be quiet, everyone!

The children wait in silence, trying to keep even their breathing down to avoid giving themselves away. We briefly see outside to identify the source of the noise; It's the spinning turbine of a Hangyomon.

Once the sound fades into the distance, the kids breathe again.

Gomamon: Sounds like they've passed us. Whamon: We're not out of danger yet. We need to stay quiet for a little longer.

In the dub, instead of the turbine noise, the sound is a sonar ping bouncing around. That's a good choice, because having to stay quiet makes more sense if they're actively pinging us with sonar.

I'm not sure how we were hearing the turbine through Whamon's hide, or why we thought the Hangyomon would hear us in turn.

Biyomon: What's that sound!? Mimi: Huh? Palmon: It's getting louder! Izzy: Everyone, be quiet! Tentomon: Sounds like Divermon! (Everyone quietly waits for the Divermon to pass) Gomamon: Sounds like they passed us. Whamon: We're not out of danger yet. You'll have to be quiet a little longer.

Pretty strong scene. My one criticism is that Tentomon shouts "Sounds like Divermon!" right after Izzy tells everyone to be quiet. A visual later in the scene will tell us that, Tentomon. You don't need to risk blowing our cover to exclaim it.

Unfortunately, there's no hiding from the Hangyomon. A critical error has already been made, and it's too late to take it back.

The scouting Hangyomon notices the bubbles from Whamon's attempt to equalize the pressure. Following the bubbles' course down to their point of origin, they see Whamon on the ocean floor.

Hangyomon: FOUND HIM!!! IT'S WHAMON!!!

Hangyomon changes course and goes straight for Whamon. Are they planning to try and take Whamon by themselves? Eh, probably; They are a Perfect Digimon after all.

Inside, the kids hear the turbine sound returning with a vengeance and freak out.

Kids: AHHHH!!! Taichi: Crap! They found us!

Surprisingly tame expletive for Taichi in this situation.

In the dub:

Divermon: OVER THERE!!! HEY, IT'S WHAMON!!! (Divermon goes for Whamon) Kids: AHHHH!!! Tai: Oh no! They found us!

Pretty much exactly the same.

After a commercial break, the Hangyomon who spotted the bubbles reports in.

Hangyomon 1: I've found Whamon! He's lurking on the ocean floor in Area 51! Hangyomon 2: Understood. I'll report this to MetalSeadramon-sama right away! Hangyomon 3: (With MetalSeadramon) They've found Whamon!

MetalSeadramon is so happy about this news, he erupts out of the ocean and does a little twirl in the air.

Hangyomon 3: WE'VE FOUND THE CHOSEN CHILDREN!!!

Music to MetalSeadramon's ears. With a big doofy smile, he flops around in the air. It's weirdly adorable.

The dub keeps up the odd name joke.

Divermon 1: Red Leader, this is-- Ah, uh, I mean, this is Phil. I found Whamon! He's in Area 51 on the ocean floor! Divermon 2: Great! Keep an eye on him! I'll tell the boss and he can tell MetalSeadramon! Divermon 3: (With MetalSeadramon) Good news! We found Whamon! MetalSeadramon: (explodes out of the water) YYYYYEAH YAY!!! Divermon 3: What do we do now, oh master of the ocean? MetalSeadramon: (flopping with joy) AAAAAAAAATTACK!!!

Having MetalSeadramon give orders while flailing around in the air is so ridiculous, I do not know if it makes this bit better or worse. XD Any way you slice it, MetalSeadramon's gleeful sky twisting is such an unexpected thing to put into the show.

Deep beneath the ocean, the Hangyomon that spotted Whamon moves in to attack.

Hangyomon: STRIKE FISHING!!! Koushiro: (inside) They're coming! Whamon: The Hangyomon are attacking! Everyone, stay calm!

Whamon creates a smokescreen out of bubbles to conceal himself. Hangyomon's Strike Fishing harpoons pass through the bubbles, missing their mark.

Hangyomon: Tch. He dodged them using bubbles for cover. (The other three Hangyomon arrive) Hangyomon: You're late!

In the dub:

Divermon: STRIKING FISH!!! Izzy: (inside) WATCH OUT!!! Whamon: The Divermon are attacking! Hang on, everyone! I've got an idea! (Bubble smokescreen) Divermon: Where did all those bubbles come from? Geeze, I couldn't see where I was aiming! (The other three Divermon arrive) Divermon: Hmm? UH-OH!!!

Tonal change. In the original, this Hangyomon is like, "Shit, they got away. Oh, and FINALLY the rest of the squad shows up; Come on, guys."

His corresponding Divermon is a hapless doof who has no idea what he saw, and also reacts like he's the one about to be in trouble. Presumably for letting Whamon slip away.

I always thought it was surprisingly bold, as a kid, for this one Divermon to try and attack Whamon on his own. Not being able to read the Japanese writing in their Digimon Analyzer screen leaves it extremely ambiguous as to what level they're supposed to be at. I thought they were Rookies because of their small size and numbers.

Nope. Perfect. This one Hangyomon is more than enough to utterly ruin Whamon's day in a fist-fight.

Inside Whamon, we find Yamato and Takeru with their Partners. Takeru's holding Patamon in his hands, while Yamato has his arm around Takeru with a firm grip on his shoulder.

Patamon: What should we do, Takeru? Takeru: If this keeps up, we won't make it.... Yamato: I hate to say it, but so long as we're stuck inside Whamon-- (Taichi pounds his fist) Taichi: Can't we do something!?

The kids are starting to come around to the realization that MetalSeadramon was right. The ocean is MetalSeadramon's domain, and they're at a tremendous disadvantage down here.

Koushiro: There are three more pursuers behind us! Sora: What!? Whamon: The enemy has brought reinforcements! Kids: (collective gasp)

Brief shot of three Hangyomon now in pursuit of Whamon, with the fourth lagging behind and coming up to join them.

Hangyomon 4: Sorry to keep you waiting. Tentomon: (inside, watching the laptop) THEY'RE GAINING ON US!!! Taichi: Whamon! You need to surface! Then we'll be able to fight back! Yamato: Please! Taichi: WHAMON!!! Whamon: ...I have a different idea. If this works, we should be able to lose them. Palmon: If it works...? Mimi: And what if it doesn't work!?

We're at an impasse here and there are no good options. Even one Hangyomon would be enough to make mincemeat out of Whamon and there's four of them. The children can't fight them this far down.

(However, MetalSeadramon is unaccounted for, which is a significant peril of trying to surface and fight. I can understand Whamon's reluctance to let this become a brawl.)

The dub kicks us off with some brotherly banter.

Patamon: You're squeezing me too hard! T.K.: Matt, you're squeezing me too hard. Matt: Sorry, I guess we're all a little scared. (Tai pounds his fist) Tai: I HATE THIS!!! WE'RE STUCK IN HERE AND CAN'T FIGHT!!! Izzy: According to the audio sensors, there are three more behind us! Sora: What is it, Whamon? Whamon: IT'S THE ENEMY!!! Kids: (collective gasp)

I like that the dub specifies "according to the audio sensors" because this fills in a bit of a plot hole. Koushiro is supposed to be reading Whamon's sensory data, so it's unclear how he was able to see something behind Whamon on the laptop feed from Whamon's eyes.

...well, Whamon doesn't have eyes, but the feed from Whamon's... wherever their visual senses come from.

The dub steps in and has Izzy clearly state that he's picking it up from Whamon's ears. Whamon heard the arrival of three more.

Divermon 4: DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!!! Tentomon: (inside, watching the laptop) OOOOGH, THEY'RE GAINING ON US!!! Tai: THAT'S IT!!! I'M TIRED OF RUNNING!!! COME ON, WHAMON, LET'S GO UP TO THE SURFACE AND FIGHT!!! Matt: RIGHT!!! Tai: Well!? Whamon: Let me try one more thing. Hopefully, it'll work. Palmon: What do you mean, hopefully it will work!? Mimi: That's what the Captain of the Titanic said! And what if it doesn't work!? What's Plan B!? Tai: I still think we should turn and fight! I hope you know what you're doing, Whamon.

Mimi's dialogue is expanded and Tai gets an extra line to close us out, but this exchange is mostly the same.

Acting on their plan, Whamon speeds ahead until they reach the edge of a massive underwater trench, then swims down deep.

Hangyomon 1: What is he trying to do? Hangyomon 2: That moron! They're trying to escape through this narrow passage? Hangyomon 3: Yes! This is our chance to pen them in!

The Hangyomon pursue Whamon down into the trench.

Hangyomon 1: There's no use trying to resist! Hangyomon 2: This is the end for you! Give up! Jou: (inside) WE'RE DONE FOR!!!

Triumphant, one of the Hangyomon jams their harpoon down into Whamon's hide.

Mimi: NOOOOOOO!!!

In the dub:

Divermon 1: What's he trying to do!? Divermon 2: Whamon must be crazy, trying to escape into such a narrow space! Divermon 3: Stay with him! No matter what! (The Divermon pursue Whamon into the trench) Divermon 1: You, in the big whale: PULL OVER!!! Divermon 2: It's no use! We've got you trapped! Joe: (inside) OH NO!!! THEY'LL CATCH US!!! (Divermon jams his harpoon into Whamon's hide) Mimi: NOOOOOOO!!!

The traffic cop bit from the Divermon made me laugh. XD Even Digimon Adventure knew that ACAB.

Suddenly, when it seems like the Hangyomon are having their moment of triumph, the most unexpected happens. Well, unexpected for anyone not familiar with nautical physics.

The crushing depth of the ocean pulverizes the oxygen tank for the Hangyomon hanging from the harpoon, sending them floundering and flailing back up to the surface. The other three back off, watching their drowning companion with stunned confusion.

Hangyomon: DAMN IT!!! Koushiro: (inside) Water pressure! So that was Whamon's plan! (Kids cheer and celebrate) Gomamon: Whamon's a deep sea Digimon, so water pressure is nothing to them! Jou: YOU DID IT, WHAMON!!!

Obviously, the Divermon do not yell curse words in the dub.

Divermon 1: Huh? Divermon 2: Tough break. Divermon 3: That's gotta hurt! Izzy: (inside) Prodigious! They can't take the water pressure; That was Whamon's plan all along! (Kids cheer and celebrate) Gomamon: Whamon's built to handle pressure! Unlike some of us.... Joe: Well, forgive me for not being a whale!

If that crack is meant to be at Joe's expense for screaming "WE'RE DOOMED" seconds before Whamon's plan thwarted the Divermon, then it's hilarious. XD

And fair. That is an actual thing he did in the original too.

So we're safe from the Hangyomon for now, but the kids need to figure out next steps.

Taichi: That was close! Tailmon: What a clever trick! Hikari: (afraid) Onii-chan, what do we do now? Sora: We can't stay at the bottom of the ocean forever. Koushiro: I've got it. Hikari-san, can you come over here?

Koushiro whispers his plan into Hikari's ear.

Koushiro: If you take your whistle and.... (beat while Koushiro silently explains the rest) Hikari: (face slowly turns to a smile) Okay!

Hikari moves to the center of the "room" and gives everybody a bow. Then she picks up her whistle.

Hikari: Here I go.... Koushiro: If you would, please.

Taking a deep breath, Hikari blows into the whistle with all her might. She blows so hard that the cartoon physics of her effort lift her off the ground. The high-pitched whistle tone bounces off the walls not just inside Whamon's stomach, but also in the trench beyond.

Following the bouncing signal, Koushiro locates a nearby opening in the trench wall.

Koushiro: It worked! Thank you, Hikari-san. Hikari: (breathing heavily, but excited) ...yeah! Koushiro: I used the reverberations from the sound to find a tunnel up ahead. We might be able to escape through it. Whamon: Yes, I felt it too. That tunnel is connected to an area of land above the surface!

Just like that, we have a plan of escape. Whamon makes his way towards the tunnel.

In the dub:

Tai: Boy, that was close! Gatomon: I didn't know you had this kind of hidden attack! Kari: This is great, but what are we going to do now? Sora: Yeah, we can't stay at the bottom of the ocean forever! Izzy: I've got it! Kari, come over here for a moment. (Kari goes over to Izzy) Izzy: (whispers unintelligibly) Kari: (face slowly turns into a smile) Ahh...! Right! (Kari goes to the center and bows) Kari: (bowing) Ta-da! (finishes her bow) Ready? Izzy: You can do it! (Kari echolocates for the team) Izzy: Yeah! We did it, Kari! Thanks for the help! Kari: (breathing heavily, but excited) ...sure! Izzy: The whistle was sort of like sonar. We used the reverberations from the sound to find a tunnel. And there's one up ahead that should lead us to land! Matt/Joe/Mimi: Cool! / Nice job! / Far out! Tai: Isn't that great, Whamon? Whamon: What? Tai: I said, ISN'T THAT GREAT!?!? Whamon: I can't hear you. Someone was whistling in my ear. But there's a tunnel up ahead! It should lead us to land!

The dub has Izzy explain that the tunnel will take us to the surface so that it can set up the "Someone was whistling in my ear" joke. Which is a great bit; I was sitting here wondering how Whamon is coping with the sudden high-pitched noise assailing their eardrums while watching the original.

Though this gag does render the whole scene pointless, as Dub Whamon finds the tunnel himself despite missing out on Izzy's explanation of the plan. Ultimately, the dub kids deafened Whamon while accomplishing nothing.

Unfortunately, the children are about to learn about the one glaring vulnerability that active sonar has during naval warfare: Enemy ships can hear your pings.

We cut to MetalSeadramon listening to the sound of Hikari's whistle cutting through the water.

MetalSeadramon: I can see through your plan. Enjoy playing submarine while you still can!

Making a ninety degree turn from his original course and angling down deeper, MetalSeadramon takes off in pursuit.

Down in the trench, Whamon enters an area glowing with bright green.. kelp? Honestly not sure what those are supposed to be, but it's a gorgeous enough sight that the girls are all gathered around Koushiro's laptop.

Mimi, Sora, & Hikari: AHHHHH, PRETTY!!! Koushiro: Ah! Yamato: There's the tunnel! Mimi: (silently vibrates with excitement) Palmon: WE'RE SAVED!!! Mimi: HOORAY!!!

Mimi stands up, ecstatic, and a chill runs down what passes for Palmon's spine. Sweat beads form instantly on her head and she whips around to see Mimi holding out her hands, as if inviting Palmon to another twirl.

Palmon stares at Mimi for a second, then jerks away out of fear.

The dub frequently misses story pieces that are buried in sound effects, and this is no exception. Since MetalSeadramon did not verbally acknowledge that he could hear Hikari's whistle, the dub team seems unaware that he's meant to be reacting to it. The waters around him in their version are silent.

MetalSeadramon: Those fools think I don't know where they're headed? They're easier to figure out than a two-piece jigsaw puzzle! Enjoy playing submarine while you can! RRRRYARGH!!!

The submarine crack does make it, and "easier to figure out than a two-piece jigsaw puzzle" is a creative burn. Still, I'm not sure why he suddenly whips around and shoots off a different direction if he already knew what their plan was. Really needs that whistle to react to.

Mimi, Sora, and Kari: WOW!!! PRETTY!!! Izzy: Aha! Matt: A tunnel!? Mimi: YAAAAY!!! Palmon: WE'RE SAVED!!! Mimi: I've got to get changed! Palmon: (sweatdrops and chill; whips ar ound) Huh!? Mimi: (holds out hands) HUUUUUUG!!! (beat) Palmon: (flinches and steps back)

...nothing happens in this scene; How did you manage to butcher it?

First off, Matt reacts to the tunnel with surprise, so I guess he wasn't listening when Izzy explained that they found a tunnel a minute ago.

Mimi stands up and declares, "I've got to get changed!" as we approach the tunnel. Um. Why? Did she pack a specific tunnel-exploring outfit? Also, we're in a huge empty room; Is she planning to start changing right there in front of everyone? What a weird-ass line.

Palmon's panic is then reframed to be a reaction to Mimi wanting to change. For some reason. Then when she whips around, Mimi has completely changed her intentions and now wants a hug.

With Mimi's original intent to twirl Palmon around the room again like last time gone, Palmon flinches away from hugging Mimi for what is now no reason at all.

Suddenly, a heavy impact shakes Whamon. We're under attack once more.

Taichi: Did they come back!? Tailmon: We weren't able to shake them off? Whamon: Be careful, everyone. It's MetalSeadramon! Kids: EHHHH!?!?

MetalSeadramon chases Whamon into the tunnel, which narrows to the point of being too tight for either to pass comfortably. Whamon pushes through, breaking through to the surface and momentarily leaving MetalSeadramon behind.

In the dub:

Tai: NOT AGAIN!!! Gatomon: How can those fishheads be back? Whamon: They're not! Be careful, everyone! It's MetalSeadramon! Kids: (fearful wailing)

Surprisingly, Whamon and MetalSeadramon make it through their chase scene with no silence-breakers. The dub team sits back and lets the tension simmer and boil.

Whamon finally escapes to the surface, letting the children out into the fresh air.

Taichi: It's so bright! Mimi: The air's so fresh! Yamato: Who'd have ever thought the sun could make you feel so good?

The kids enjoy a relieved laugh, happy to be out from undersea.

The dub gives us some silence-breaking dialogue while we're slowly zooming in on Whamon and setting the stage.

Tai: Is everybody okay? Izzy: Where... Where are we!? (Zoom in on Tai and the others) Tai: The sun's so bright! Mimi: Smell that? Fresh air! Matt: I feel I've been underwater so long, I might never take a bath again!

Izzy asks a very good question that goes completely ignored once the original script picks up.

Also, Matt, that's gross. You weren't even in the water. That's not how that works and I hope Hiroaki does some parenting when you get home.

The kids all share a jovial moment of mirth, which is swiftly undercut by an inquisitive voice from the sea.

MetalSeadramon: What's so funny?

MetalSeadramon bursts up from the water, startling everyone.

Yamato: METALSEADRAMON!!! Sora: HOW!?!? MetalSeadramon: This is as far as you go, Chosen Children! Taichi: Ugh!

I don't know why they're surprised. Frankly, if Whamon could squeeze through there, the serpentine MetalSeadramon should have had no problem. Snakes are practically made for squishing through crevasses. Plus his invulnerable metal plating means he'd have a trivial time forcing his way through jagged rocks and shit.

(Ironically, this means Whamon's plan did not work, and only ended up postponing the kids' plan of surfacing and drawing battle lines. Though Whamon did provide us with a change of scenery more conducive to land mammals, so it wasn't for nothing.)

In the dub, fitting his more fiery personality, MetalSeadramon sounds offended by their laughter.

MetalSeadramon: Mind telling me what's so FUNNY!?!? (MetalSeadramon bursts out of the water)

The dub puts a commercial break here on this cliffhanger, and then we come back to him bursting out of the water again to remind us where we are.

(MetalSeadramon bursts out of the water) Matt: IT'S METALSEADRAMON!!! Sora: How can it be!? MetalSeadramon: It was only a matter of time before you came up for air. NOW YOU'RE GOING DOWN WITH THE SHIP!!!

MetalSeadramon tries to explain how he got here. His explanation syncs up well with the earlier moment, when the dub missed him picking up the whistle sound. He's explaining his plan.

However, this explanation ignores the fact that he did not meet them at the surface; He chased them through the underwater tunnel. Sora's bad question does not warrant an answer.

Cornered now, Whamon has one last trick up their sleeve.

Whamon: Everyone, hang on! TIDAL WAVE!!!

Whamon leads us off with Tidal Wave, swimming in a tight circle and sending out powerful waves through the water. One of the Hangyomon gets washed away by the force of Whamon's current.

...there have not yet been any Hangyomon in this scene. The first we see of them is being washed away.

In any case, Whamon's Tidal Wave buys the kids time to figure out how to put their plan of attack into action.

Hangyomon: WAUGH!!! Agumon: Taichi! Taichi: (nods approvingly) It's up to you now. (to the others) Let's head to shore and take up battle positions while Agumon is distracting them. Yamato: Understood! Jou: Gomamon and I will provide cover! Taichi: Great! Sora: The waves are subsiding. Taichi: (holds out Digivice) Agumon! Agumon: HERE I GO!!!

Agumon Warp-Evolves into WarGreymon, setting the plan into motion.

In the dub:

Whamon: Everyone, hold on! TIDAL WAVE!!! (Tidal Wave washes away a Divermon) Divermon: BLAAARGH! Agumon: Should I? Tai: (nods approvingly) Sure, go for it! (to the others) While Agumon gets their attention, let's cross over to the shore and prepare ourselves for battle! Matt: Aye-aye. Joe: Uh, Gomamon and I will stay here and bring up the rear. Sora: Joe, don't be such a coward! Tai: (holds out Digivice) AGUMON!!! Agumon: Here I go!

(heavy sigh)

Jou's offering to lay down covering fire for their escape. You know. Because Ikkakumon is an artillery cannon and that's one of the things that artillery does.

The dub changes this to Joe trying to chicken out and stay with Whamon. Then replaces the somewhat important information that the Tidal Wave is ending and we need to act now with Sora yelling at him for his cowardice.

Thanks, I hate it.

WarGreymon gets his complete Warp-Evolution sequence while Garurumon, Ikkakumon, Kabuterimon, and Birdramon evolve offscreen.

Finally it's time for Ultimate vs. Ultimate. Rematch with the first Dark Master, and with the Dramon Killer, we can't possibly--

WarGreymon goes straight for the throat with Dramon Killer, but his claws glance harmlessly off of MetalSeadramon's invulnerable armored body.

WarGreymon: Tch! MetalSeadramon: Hyegh... I have the same Chrome Digizoid as you. You can't hurt me so easily!

Well, that plan went to shit quicker than expected.

As planned, the children withdraw to the shore while MetalSeadramon's focus is on WarGreymon. Yamato takes Takeru and Patamon on Garurumon. Koushiro ferries Taichi, Hikari, and Tailmon on Kabuterimon. Jou and Sora ride their Partners alone.

Taichi: WHAMON!!! THANK YOU!!! LEAVE THE REST TO US!!! Whamon: But-- Yamato: At your size, you'd be an easy target! You need to get out of here as fast as you can! Sora: Hurry! Whamon: I understand!

Reluctantly, Whamon dives beneath the surface once more.

Dub WarGreymon seems a little more pleased with his total lack of damage dealt.

WarGreymon: RAAAAHH!!! (slash, clink) AHAHA!!! MetalSeadramon: What was that, a love tap? I'm made of Chrome Digizoid too, y'know! You can't hurt me that easily! (Meanwhile, the DigiDestined withdraw to the shore) Tai: Whamon, thanks for everything but you can leave the rest to us! Whamon: What, no tip? Matt: Hurry and get out of here! You're an easy target! You're just too big! Whamon: Are you calling me fat? I'm just big-boned.

We lose a bit of characterization for Whamon here. In the original, Whamon is committed to this whole ordeal and is reluctant to leave now that the fight has begun in earnest. It takes Yamato and Sora joining Taichi in telling them to go to convince them to back off.

Dub Whamon shows no reluctance but makes a couple parting quips before he goes.

The Hangyomon cut in but, true to his word, Jou lays down artillery cover fire to get Whamon out of there.

Hangyomon: YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY!!! (Hangyomon throws their Strike Fishing harpoon) Ikkakumon: HARPOON TORPEDO!!!

It's not super clear if the Hangyomon is trying to stop Whamon's retreat or the kids' tactical withdrawal.

Ikkakumon fires a Harpoon Vulcan into the air, which explodes into a shower of missiles and pepper the water. This brings all of their attention on Jou and provokes a counterattack; They shower Jou in retaliatory Strike Fishing harpoons.

Jou: IKAKKUMON, GANBARU!!! Ikkakumon: GOT IT!!!

With the Hangyomon now focusing on them, Ikkakumon Super-Evolves into Zudomon.

In the dub, Divermon uses his line to just call his attack.

Divermon: STRIKING FISH!!! Ikkakumon: HARPOON TORPEDO!!! (Missiles spray the water; Divermon retaliate) Joe: Ikkakumon, quick! Digivolve!

Once again, ganbaru has no easy translation, so they have to improvise. It's not too hard to do so.

Freshly evolved, Zudomon towers over the water, casting his silhouette down on those he intends to destroy.

Zudomon: HAMMER SPARK!!!

A single Hammer Spark sends a jolt of electricity through the surrounding sea and creates an upward explosion of water.

The attack is a little too effective, as it pulls MetalSeadramon's attention momentarily.

MetalSeadramon: ULTIMATE STREAM!!!

MetalSeadramon's nose cannon carves an arc across the landscape.

Hurrying to try and shut that down, WarGreymon rushes in with Brave Shield; A defensive technique using his invulnerable Chrome Digizoid shield to block any attack.

It does not go well.

Blocking the Ultimate Stream, WarGreymon pushes in until he gets too close.

WarGreymon: BRAVE SHIIIIIIIIIEL-- MetalSeadramon: MORON!!! WarGreymon: Oh, crap!

As he nearly did with Tailmon before, MetalSeadramon suddenly stops firing and chomps, snatching WarGreymon up in his jaws. Immediately, MetalSeadramon dives underwater, taking his prey with him.

Taichi: WarGreymon! Koushiro: That's bad. He's at an overwhelming disadvantage in the water.

Super effective trap by MetalSeadramon. We're again seeing what Piemon was talking about with that whole, "I can fight circles around you because you became Ultimate yesterday and have no experience."

In the dub, WarGreymon calls Terra Force for some reason.

WarGreymon: TERRA FORCE!!! MetalSeadramon: GOT YOU!!! WarGreymon: NOOOOOOO!!! (MetalSeadramon takes WarGreymon down into the water) Tai: WarGreymon! Izzy: Big trouble! WarGreymon's at a huge disadvantage in the water!

Calling the wrong attack confuses the action, making it less clear that this was a trap. Terra Force is supposed to be WarGreymon's big offensive blast, so it comes across like he was going on the offense and then got countered.

Cut over to Zudomon, who drops another Hammer Spark into the water. We hear the Hangyomon cry out again. So I guess Jou and Zudomon have been pretty busy doing that.

Jou: Where are the others!?

Brief shot of Birdramon and Garurumon offloading their passengers.

Jou: That's great--HUH!?!?

Jou suddenly notices MetalSeadramon. For no clear reason, despite it explicitly being said like ten seconds ago that WarGreymon's at a disadvantage underwater, MetalSeadramon has resurfaced. He has WarGreymon up in the air, still between his teeth.

WarGreymon is struggling at this point. His muscles are weakening and he's losing his grip. He can't keep this up.

Hikari: WarGreymon! Taichi: DAMN IT!!! MetalSeadramon: What a fool you are, WarGreymon! THIS IS THE END!!!

Suddenly, in a super blurry moment of truth, Whamon erupts from the sea and slams into MetalSeadramon. (Yes, it's a still image that just looks like that.) The impact knocks WarGreymon out of MetalSeadramon's mouth, saving the day.

MetalSeadramon: IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE!?!?

Roaring with outrage that Whamon would dare even try, MetalSeadramon cuts loose with one shot from his Ultimate Stream. And... at their size, Whamon is an easy target. The beam rips through Whamon's head for a kill shot.

Taichi: WHAMON!!!

In the dub:

Joe: Oh, boy. Is everybody okay?

Jou's follow-up lines are cut. The camera shows us everyone getting off and then pans over to MetalSeadramon, but Joe offers no indication that he's seeing any of that.

Kari: WARGREYMON!!! Tai: I can't watch! MetalSeadramon: I'm tired of playing around with you, WarGreymon! SAY GOODBYE!!! Narrator: Is this really the end for WarGreymon? Will the DigiDestined ever defeat the Dark Masters? Find out on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.

Yeah, the dub cut and ran early again. They pick WarGreymon in MetalSeadramon's mouth as a good cliffhanger and skedaddle, despite there still being a full two minutes left in the episode. I have no idea how they're going to make up all this time they keep losing.

...actually, no, I have a hunch.

Well, I can tolerate one scene but I'm not waiting for two minutes of plot so we're skipping ahead. NEXT DUB EPISODE STARTS NOW.

MetalSeadramon: I'm tired of playing around with you, WarGreymon! SAY GOODBYE!!! (Whamon strikes!) MetalSeadramon: RIVER OF POWER!!! (Whamon struck)

You know, if I had to wait a week between "You need to leave; You're too big of a target!" and Whamon getting shot dead immediately upon returning, I don't feel like it would hit as strongly. Whamon's sacrificial death is paying off both a warning they were given earlier in the episode and their demonstrated reluctance to do what they were told and save themselves.

We also lose MetalSeadramon's immeasurable fury at being interrupted, as he opts to simply call his attack in the dub.

Whamon's choice to get involved saves WarGreymon's life, but at the cost of their own. They pay for their heroism by receiving the full force of MetalSeadramon's power. But, by letting Whamon momentarily pull his attention and giving WarGreymon a second to breathe, MetalSeadramon has made a mistake just as fatal.

WarGreymon: BRAVE TORNADO!!! MetalSeadramon: ULTIMATE STREAM!!!

Hoisting his Dramon Killers above his head to form a spear with his body, WarGreymon spins up his Brave Tornado and fires straight down the barrel of MetalSeadramon's Ultimate Stream. This is basically a much better conceived version of what he was trying to do with his Brave Shield.

MetalSeadramon unloads into WarGreymon, but Wargreymon's own invulnerable Chrome Digizoid armor and spinning attack deflects the beam and allows him to travel all the way down its length. He enters MetalSeadramon's body through the Ultimate Stream emitter itself, carving his Dramon Killer straight through and setting off small explosions of Ultimate Stream energy throughout the serpentine shell.

Finally, WarGreymon bursts through MetalSeadramon's back, triumphant.

With one last dying roar, MetalSeadramon collapses into the water. We hang on a shot of WarGreymon and Kabuterimon looking triumphantly down at the slain Dark Master for fifteen straight seconds while Show Me Your Brave Heart plays in the background. Then finally cut to Taichi, Hikari, and Koushiro on Kabuterimon.

Taichi: We did it....

Stunningly, none of this tremendous violence gets cut from the dub. Both Whamon's headshot and MetalSeadramon's gruesome death make it in uncut.

Fifteen seconds of a still image and no dialogue is a lot more than the dub is willing to tolerate. Fortunately, WarGreymon is facing away from the camera and Kabuterimon doesn't have lip flaps so they can teabag the corpse to their hearts' content.

WarGreymon: So much for your impenetrable Chrome Digizoid armor! Looks to me like it got a little rusty! Kabuterimon: Next time you decide you want to rule the waters, do everybody a favor and take a bubble bath instead! Tai: We won!

Sick burn from WarGreymon. Kabuterimon should probably workshop his smack talk a bit more.

With the fight over, WarGreymon reverts to Koromon and the remaining kids head to shore. Everyone gathers around the dying Whamon.

Whamon: Chosen Children... Please... Save our world.... Kids: WHAMON!!! Jou: (a little late) WHAMON!!!

Whamon disintegrates into pixels; Their data flying up into the sky. The children watch Whamon die with tears in their eyes.

Takeru: Whamon... is dead? (quiet moment as the kids grieve) Koushiro: Look at that!

Koushiro draws the group's attention to MetalSeadramon, who is also disintegrating into pixels.

Yamato: It's happening to MetalSeadramon too. Sora: (watches the data pixels rise into the sky; solemn) They're floating in the air. Gomamon: Where do you think they're going? Tentomon: (frantic) TO THE TOP OF SPIRAL MOUNTAIN!!!

I mean. It is a sort of heaven. Throne of the Four Heavenly Kings, anyway.

But no, that's definitely not where the data of the dead is supposed to be going, which is why Tentomon's flipping the fuck out about it. We know what's supposed to happen to deceased Digimon. More on that in later episodes.

The dub sort of tries to talk around Whamon's death.

Whamon: ...the DigiDestined... Please... Save this world.... T.K.: Whamon... Where did he go...? (Whamon's pixels rise into the sky) Izzy: LOOK THERE, EVERYONE!!! Matt: It's happening to MetalSeadramon too! Sora: (watches the data pixels rise into the sky; cheerful) They're floating in the sky! Gomamon: I know where they're going! Tentomon: Spiral Mountain's Peak!

They avoid saying the 'D' word and everyone's kind of chipper about this like they're watching a mysterious and wondrous phenomenon. Even Tentomon's line is delivered in this sort of triumphant and hopeful tone when. Um. No, that's bad. It's bad that their data is going up to Spiral Mountain's peak.

Still, it's pretty obvious that they're dead, all the same.

Suddenly, the ground begins to shake terribly.

Gomamon: AN EARTHQUAKE!?!? Taichi: No! (points at Spiral Mountain) THAT'S why the ground is shaking!

MetalSeadramon's death unravels the part of Spiral Mountain that was made from stolen ocean.

Sora: The ocean! Jou: It's disappearing!

The children watch from the Digital World as the ocean ribbon of Spiral Mountain is steadily unmade, returning its terrain to the world. From Earth, they too can see this section of Spiral Mountain become undone.

However, the humans aren't the only ones who can see the ocean withdrawing from Spiral Mountain. The Dark Masters, reclining up in their palace can see the same.

Piemon: Look. The ocean is disappearing. Pinochimon: (gets down off the sofa) I guess this means it's my turn. Heh.

We close this episode on Pinochimon's devilish smirk, preparing to face what he brings to the table next episode.

In the dub, Tai's line is a little awkward.

Kids: (miscellaneous yelping) Tai: No! (points at Spiral Mountain) That's the real reason for all the shaking! Over there! (Ocean ribbon is becoming unmade) Sora: The ocean! Joe: It's, uh... Disappearing!

Tai corrects them about the earthquake, but no one ever said there was an earthquake so there's no segue into his line.

Piedmon: Well, you don't... sea that every day! Puppetmon: Tag, I'm it! MetalSeadramon out, Puppetmon IN!!! Hehehehehehehe!

The dub puts a commercial break at the end of Puppetmon's line, so as to preserve the cliffhanger that was originally the end of the preceding episode.

Assessment: So ends the reign of the first Dark Master. A bit awkward that they're consciously and purposefully setting themselves up as a sequential set of minibosses, when tag-teaming the Chosen Children worked out so well last time.

And that is also our fourth character death of the arc. Returning cast are dropping like flies now that we're officially in the war arc.

I wonder what happened to the Hangyomon? If Gomamon didn't have lines during Whamon's death scene, I could make a crack about Zudomon still being offscreen shocking them through the whole thing.

I was really surprised at how not-entirely-accurately I remembered the final MetalSeadramon fight. I remembered WarGreymon attacking MetalSeadramon internally but I thought he went down MetalSeadramon's gullet, not the Ultimate Stream emitter. Huh.

Guess he took a chance that the gun part of MetalSeadramon had to be made from gun parts and shit instead of the indestructible alloy that the rest of him was made of.

The dub... They keep staggering their endings further and further away from where the original ended. I have a hunch they're buying space for the many cuts that will need to be made to the Pinochimon fight, but that's just a guess.

[system-of-a-feather]

May we please ask for tips to how handle near constant anxiety?

Honestly, these days we probably aren't the best people to ask. It's been a while since we really experienced regularly disruptive dissociation and like... we had a LITTLE bit of anxiety today and it was enough to be a "damn okay lemme grab my coping skills out of the bag"; so take that context as a bit of a disclaimer that we are sharing some of this as someone who doesn't have much anxiety anymore

With that said...

The first thing I tend to like to check in is "are my physical needs met"; cause if you are dehydrated, hungry, sleepy, forgot to take your meds, etc, it is usually immensely helpful to address any of those needs as much as you realistically can with your current mental state since those sorts of things tend to play a role in symptoms.

I really like the "You Feel Like Shit" website to just go through a few check ins since I tend to forget them in the moment.

After that, assuming you can notice / be aware / acknowledge that you are anxious, it's probably a good opportunity to try to take a step back from your thoughts; You are in an anxious spiral / falling into an anxious spiral / having unhelpful anxious feelings / thoughts. Thats okay and normal, but its good that you noticed it. Since you noticed it, I'm assuming you probably don't feel like its helping you right now and/or would like to reduce it, so lets mentally take a step back.

Easier said then done, but largely this is where the skills therapists and mental health people always talk about regarding mindfullness and grounding comes in handy. There are a number of grounding techniques that can be used and I suggest trying a few to see which work the best. A lot of people like the 5-4-3 sensory check in, box breathing, taking 10 deep breaths, open recall of some favorite thing you know a lot about (I sometimes do naming birds or the first 151 pokemon), or just literally sitting down outside. The goal is to 1) make a bit of a break in the spiral so that you can simply observe your own thoughts and feelings in a more neutral and less overwhelmed state and 2) to try to reconnect and activate your frontal lobe (as the frontal lobe tends to shut off when individuals are out of their window of tolerance / having high anxiety)

If you can acknowledge you are feeling anxious in a way that is not helpful and take a step back, you can kind of look at the anxiety a bit more clearly to see the best way to try to help yourself.

In a more short term lens, I think it's partially important to kind of understand what KIND of anxiety it is and how its presenting; I tend to find there are kind of two main "types" of presentations I see (not official, just how I kind of mentally organize / conceptualize it generally) - Shutdown Anxiety and Energizing / Escalating Anxiety.

Shutdown Anxiety I tend to generally understand as anxiety that makes you mentally shutdown, unable to act, extremely avoidant, and / or makes you depressed; overall anxiety that makes you fall out of your window of tolerance and into a hypoarousal response.

Energizing / Escalating Anxiety I tend to generally understand as anxiety that makes you more active, makes you more irritable or workaholic or stimulus seeking, and makes you NEED to do something / move / stay busy; overall anxiety that makes you fall out of your window of tolerance and into a hyperarousal response.

Of course, it's not black and white and there is a lot of grey, but I think it helps to kind of first start by kind of trying to acknowledge where you are on the scale of hypoarousal to hyperarousal as it can help in navigating potential ways to help manage said anxiety.

I personally tend to find myself hyperaroused like... 90% of the time I experience anxiety so a lot of the coping mechanisms I use the most would be ones in response to the more hyperaroused end.

If you are experiencing hypoarousal with your anxiety, (I have a lot less personal experience with it but) distracting, redirecting, and grounding tend to be things that can be helpful; finding things to help you get a little out of your head can go a good distance, so finding a friend to talk to (about the anxiety or something entirely different), finding a game to play, finding something sensory to play or fidget with, finding something to look at, etc. It helps to try to engage with the world around you and focus on what you do have around you rather than getting lost in your head.

If you are experiencing hyperarousal with your anxiety, I tend to find that its incredibly important to try to slow yourself down, sit down, look around and take a breather. Finding something relaxing that you can do (especially if it helps fill the need to Do Something) can be great; for me, playing a management game / farm game or going for a run tend to help a lot.

A bit of a theme here is "opposite action"; if you are anxious and you feel a NEED to do things, you probably would benefit from slowing down and doing less; if you are anxious and feel a NEED to shutdown and do nothing, engaging in something small will probably help you out.

Overall, it can generally be helpful to try to find some self care / kindness activities can help reduce it some. It doesn't have to be anything big or necessarily related to the anxiety, but if you are generally in a place where you are doing unhelpful coping mechanisms that aren't making you feel better, it can be helpful to sort of try to place yourself in a situation where you can engage in a more meaningful and helpful hobby / self care / coping mechanism (playing video games, art, music).

In the more long term lens, it can be helpful to generally practice a lot of different coping skills, grounding skills, and overall developing both a better awareness of when you are feeling anxious / having unhelpful anxious thoughts. I find its often more helpful to try practicing these and exploring these when you are LESS anxious since its easier to do them then and the more you do them, the easier it will be to do them in the future when you are having extreme anxiety.

Additionally, I personally really like to just keep the window of tolerance and circle of control in mind. The Circle of Control is honestly a really nice thing to return to - in my experience - as it helps you recenter and focus on what things about the source of your anxiety you can control rather than what you can't. If you can identify and list out things about the situation that you CAN control, it gives you some help in developing a sense of more safety and progress to addressing the issue than the often "things I can't control" sort of way a lot of anxious thoughts get fixated on. It can be helpful to actually fill it out physically since it lets you kind of actually look at it a bit.

[thebrandywine]

7, 10 and 17? :3

hi fon!!!!!!!

7. What is your favorite scene you’ve written so far?

okay i REALLY liked this whole section between chris and leon immediately after the events of re6. here's a little snippet

Chris finds him when Leon is sitting cross-legged on the floor of the breezeway that stretches between the emergency and non-emergency wings. He’s tucked as close to the floor-to-ceiling windows as he can get just so that he isn’t in anyone’s way, his back against one of the window frames and his good shoulder pressed to the glass as he stares out at the campus. It’s big, a lot bigger than he thought it’d be for some reason— ten floors up, the walkways are cluttered with ant-like people, an unending stream of troop movement and training and helicopters lifting off and landing on the roof. It’s hard for him to conceptualize working at a place like this; the DSO is the biggest agency he’s ever been part of, aside from his stint training with the spec ops side of the military, and even that’s pretty small. It would be weird to have so many people around, he thinks, but at least you’d always have backup. That’s probably pretty nice. “I’ve been looking for you,” Chris says. It’s sudden but Leon had heard him coming, attuned to this man’s stomping like little else. “Can you not be difficult for five fucking seconds?” “You were kind of on the warpath,” he says, eyes following a plane overhead. The intercom beeps and a low string of words spills out— something about something. “Just… needed a little space.” Chris sighs and comes to stand next to him, the man bracing his hands on the rail that bisects the windows. He leans into the grip with his elbows locked and his head sinking on his neck, haggard when Leon rolls his head over to look at him, to watch him also stare out at this place they’ve both found themselves in. He probably feels no more familiar with it than Leon does, not when he’s this far from home. “You doing okay?” Leon asks. “No,” Chris says. He doesn’t blink. Leon takes a deep breath and feels his stitches pull with the motion. “Yeah. Me neither.”

10. What is the last line of dialogue you’ve written?

the last bit of dialogue from THIS section is:

Chris squeezes his shoulder and clears his throat, says, “Lee, I’m really fucking glad you’re okay.” Leon can’t hug with the sling so he presses as close as he can when he says, “Chris, I really fucking missed you.”

17. Share the previous 5 sentences. 

Leon laughs, can’t help it, and tips forward to rest against Chris’s chest with his head on the man’s shoulder. Chris is unbothered by the extra weight as always, Leon breathing a little easier knowing that he has someone who will hold him up no matter what. Their hands are still in a comfortable grip between their stomachs, Chris’s other hand lifting to settle on Leon’s good shoulder as his head tilts to rest on Leon’s greasy hair. They stand there for a second, Leon taking the chance to just… acknowledge that they’re both still here. That’s worth a hell of a lot these days. “You reek.” “Yeah, I know.”

Chris squeezes his shoulder and clears his throat, says, “Lee, I’m really fucking glad you’re okay.” Leon can’t hug with the sling so he presses as close as he can when he says, “Chris, I really fucking missed you.”

[teablogreal]

Code Geass: Roze of the Recapture Episode 1 thoughts

Okay so like, although I wasn't big on Akito the Exiled or the creative choices made with the compilation films, I was actually really looking forwards to this one. Unlike most people, I genuinely don't mind them doing more with Code Geass. Like we have the og anime just there, its out and people can watch it (except they cant because r2 is jailed on crunchyroll auughhhhh). They even made it clear that the new Code Geass stuff from Akito onwards are in their own continuity. Genuinely I don't mind them just expanding more on their already established concepts, though I do have a preference for when they do newer things with them. So like, yeah. Roze of the Recapture is my favorite thing to come from this series in a good while.

So for those who don't know, Roze of the Recapture is a sequel not to the original series, but instead the compilation films that recapped the original series with minor changes to the events that took place in there. It also follows up on the corresponding movie that conveyed what happened afterwards, but basically all you need to know is that after Resurrection, we have a 5 year timeskip. There is a new cast of characters who so far don't tread over where the original cast stood, however they do pay homage and parallel some of the characters from the original series. Honestly, I think this is the only part that has me worried, as I'd love to see them play around more with new concepts. However I feel like after the end of the first episode, those concerns are pretty much quelled.

Okay so I'm not gonna skirt around the spoilers any further beyond this point.

Okay. I want to talk about that fucking twist??? Because like??????????? I did not fucking see that one coming but its such a fucking great way differentiate your protagonist from just being lelouch again while also playing with parallels. We effectively have somebody who's a figure of importance who is thought to be dead, however lives on to take revenge on Britannia as they have wronged this person. Key difference is that our character kinda strays away from this idea. I know a lot of people here are referring to Roze/Sakuya as our first female protag for a code geass anime and I'm sure thats probably what they're going for. However my brain just sees Sakuya being legally declared dead and then proceeding to taking the identity of not an entirely different girl, but rather this whimsical boy twink named Roze. Idk, kinda transmasc swag but also I absolutely love how we've all been played for fools prior to release. Like all the marketing had led us to believe this was going to be a story about two brothers doing shit but WOW did they have everybody fooled (including me). A shame that the trailers for the later movies kinda spoil this twist but I will fight to keep this a secret as much as possible from my friends until I get them to watch this.

Roze as a whole is a lot of fun as a character, big twist aside. I love how he feels a lot more like a trickster compared to Lelouch. Even though Lelouch had a bit of emphasis on him playing with people (the orange incident comes to mind), Roze steps that up with his geass. I'm so glad that its not just Lelouch's geass again. They do something fun with it, like conceptually after thinking about it for a while its actually crueler than Lelouch's geass. Theoretically Roze could force you into doing something without brainwashing you, you could do those things while being entirely conscious. If you say no? Then whatever you're told to do otherwise happens no matter what. I think thats just insane, it really opens the doors for so many things to be done with it in the same way that we saw Lelouch's geass being used to torment Suzaku.

Anyways I think its really funny how people are realizing this one has Ichiro Okouchi coming back to write for it not through the writing returning to its unsubtle "no shits given" attitude from the original series, but by them having yet another chess game that failed to understand the rules of chess. Its a tradition at this point.

[nohoperadio]

I'm gonna have a crack at @perdvivly's ask meme what I got tagged in now... let's go!!

1. What virtue do you most often see in other people that you feel comparatively deficient in?

A less brave question asker might have built up to the heavy shit and put the lighthearted questions first, I respect it. Okay part of what's tricky here is that to answer this properly I'd have to make some judgment calls about which of my deficiencies are rightly attributed to genuine lack of virtue vs to something like disability, and that's a scary distinction to look at too closely. So my instinct is to avoid any territory close to that border, but the actual true answer probably is close to the border--the below is probably something of a cop-out is what I'm saying.

Here's something I've only relatively recently started conceptualizing as a virtue: the desire and ability to share the enjoyment of the things you're passionate about with other people. The books and music and etc I like, I tend to be content to enjoy them by myself in the corner, whereas for other people experiencing these things alongside others and talking about them and stuff is a large part of the point. This latter tendency is most obvious in what gets called fandom but there are lots of other expressions of it, some more casual/normie, but I don't really do any of it very much. And I used to think this difference was just "people care about different things, whatever" but lately I'm leaning more towards thinking that the more communal approach is just straight-up superior; it looks like some important, richer varieties of experience are available over that way, and I now regret that I didn't try to move myself further in that direction when I was younger.

2. Show us an object in your daily life that you have an emotional attachment to - tell us a little bit about it if you want! (a favourite mug perhaps? socks with a cute pattern? dealers choice)

Mugs (plural) probably is the best answer to this, but I've already tackled that at great length here. What else... well, my main bookmark, given to me by a friend and depicting a scholar I respect very much, has lasted an impressively long time im humble o:

3. If you could choose, what level of fame would you want? How many people would you want to recognise you?

Impossible to imagine strangers randomly approaching me in the street to start conversations being anything other than nightmarish, so the ceiling has to be below that. I guess there's different types of fame that presumably make for very different experiences, a famous actor probably gets a rawer deal than an equivalently famous author, and the type of famous author whose demographic is such that self-promoting on instagram and twitter is part of the job description surely has a worse life than one who doesn't have to do that.

Someone who knows more about the culture than me could probably say exactly what kind of thing you should be famous for to minmax getting all the pleasant-feeling respect and financial rewards while preserving privacy and minimizing unpleasant public obligations, but I'm not sure what the answer is. However this comic still pops into my head occasionally after all this time and it might be a better answer than any of these words:

4. Where do you feel language is least adequate to capture, communicate, or express your experience?

Actually I don't often get the feeling that my difficulties in expressing myself are related to the limitations of language, I tend to run into more mundane constraints before that one becomes an issue, like my embarrassment around talking about myself or my not being in tune with my own mental life or the fact that my brain is very small. I think generally if something's too subtle to put into words it's too subtle for me to think clearly about/have anything worth saying about in the first place.

I guess my other possible answer to this would be "all of my experience of life in its entirety" which is also true in a way.

5. If you had to come up with a question with the following criteria:

a) it should disuade knee-jerk reaction answers (i.e. it shouldn't be something people are likely to have spent a lot of time considering before)

b) it shouldn't be too specialised (the audience should be general, don't ask about people's top 3 byzantine spice merchants opperating between 754AD-816AD)

c) it shouldn't be needlessly emotionally charged or divisive

d) it should be a question you expect people to have lots of varied opinions about

What would your question be?

Yeah no it's hard, you've done well. My first thought with criteria A (which I think is the hardest one to cover) is to make the question require describing somebody else's perspective on something, because that way even if the answerer has their own knee-jerk opinion about the thing they'd be forced to suspend that in their answer. Maybe something like this would work:

Think of a topic that somebody close to you has very different feelings about from your own--it can be the smallest, most trivial matter of taste or something weightier if you like--what do you think is the relevant difference between you and this person that explains your different takes on that topic?

I would hope that if this question were in an ask meme like this people would tend to focus on fun and/or lighthearted differences but maybe it would turn people's brains towards bitter conflicts, I'm not sure. Anyway I'm glad question 5 doesn't end with "...and what is your answer to that question?" because it looks difficult to me!

---

This was fun imo, some of the questions were more intimidating than is the norm for these things but what's wrong with a little spice you know, I recommend it, thank you @perdvivly for erecting this jungle gym of the soul. I'm following the same coward's strat as last time of picking people sort-of-randomly by tagging the last three mutuals to show up in my notifications, this time excluding the three I tagged last time, so that gives @fregolious, @abodywithorgans and @wellmetmat. I'd like to hear from you! If the random method somehow gave people I didn't want to hear from I would have had no qualms about fudging it until I got people I liked, so don't let that put you off! But also, again, any mutuals who feel like doing this and claiming that I tagged them should do so, because in spirit I have, you understand.

[princess-of-the-corner]

So, with those butterfly world building revelations, I need a new power for the Peacock & started tinkering with my other 12 Kami power set up

So I was curious as to your take on what you'd replace the Peacock's power with.

Keep in mind it doesn't need to be with the Agreste family or otherwise broken, as the Butterfly can kill its users just fine without cracks XD

Currently my potential options are:

1: Transmutation & Reformation This changes the component elements of an object such as turning coal into gold. Or can be used to enhance a pre-existing object into its strongest or weakest state.

Such as re-structuring a sheet of metal into its most efficient and sturdy self. The usual way to use its power is to take a feather and make it sharp or explosive and throw it.

Might be stepping into Ladybug or the Butterflies domain a bit or could be too easily abuse?

2: Plasma & Ashes Tied to the element of fire and it being a Catalyst for Change through heat and energy the user can unless feathers of explosive plasma or also change themselves into a mass of living ever changing and very hot ash that can move around similar to Style Queen or Sandboy.

Sort of feels a bit disjointed and maybe too limited.

3: Illumination & Iridescence or illumination & obscuration This allows the users to create, remove or alter light and shadows for stealth and surprise purposes.

Feels kind of like the Fox could do it.

4: Concealment & Revelation Hide something be it physically or mentally, as well as reveal something concealed/lost.

This would make it look like the concealed thing was never there & can never be seen or thought of unless one raw will powers their way through it.

A purely physical version of this is basically mobile pocket dimension and being able to, for example, "Summon steam rollers!" and drop them n your enemies.

The conceptual one feels like it could maybe be a bit OP or if not, run the risk of not being powerful enough while the latter is fun I am unsure it really fits.

5: Rebirth & Resurrection This has ties, allegedly, to some broadly common symbolic trends across many areas in what is now China.

I am unsure how it'd manifest save maybe as being the party healer, or maybe a self rez? Could end up being unhelpful or OP.

6: Energy & Passion This could radically enhance the user or an allies powers, essentially a boost to all round energy and abilities. With the possible side effect of burn out if over-used. Could also exaggerate emotions as well as Taoism ties related elements of this to hate & joy.

Might be like a watered down butterfly.

But yeah those are what I have but not sure any of them work as powers or are in line with the other Kwami. Maybe as individuals or maybe in different pairs, I'd love to hear your thoughts and if you have an alternate Peacock what you'd do.

Oh also, the revised first trio:

Snake - Ouroboros, Entirety & Time Ladybug - Creation & Purification Cat - Destruction & Mutation

Okay so I think go with either 1 or 6.

And this is probably because of bias but the others aren't hitting right BUT

With #1: I'm tempted with this because ofc you get my fma:b loving ass in on the idea of transmutation. But also because I can kinda use this logic on helping draw the line from this to the Ladybug's Creation?

Because it's more change and transformation than create. You cannot create from nothing, you have to change and alter what's already there.

as for 6: tbh I just think that we need more support powers in this show.

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №29!

Murder edition!

I was bored so here's my attempts at figuring out the fastest and easiest way to murder or disable the fault crew. And you can give me the chances of that actually working and what would your best bet be at killing them?

1. The first one is Phil cause he's the easiest one. I'm just gonna show him the fic and your shitposts and have him turn into words. Also I specifically do that in some isolated (as in no cracks and only one entrance) barn or something like that. And I also put some pine needles in the room and light them on fire. You'll see why.

2. The second problem would be Tubbo since they would absolutely already know about me turning Phil to words. Luckily they're a pacifist. I'm not sure how far that pacifism goes exactly, but if I pretend that I turned Phil to words on accident, I'd probably get at least some time. I pretend that it was an accident and run to Tubbo like omg what happened help. And lead them to the barn. In the barn, the pine needles already produced a shit ton of smoke. So I then go ahead and say that Phil is in there and then close the door behind Tubbo, and then light the barn on fire. Even if some bees do escape, the main body would be gone.

3. Wilbur. I do not remember how his connection to the void works exactly, but I also haven't said that I have to keep the world from being destroyed so I'd just probably give the void access to the real world. Which would probably destroy both worlds, actually. I wonder if that counts as killing the whole fault crew or not.

4. Tommy. I shoot him. Like, he's not that dangerous. Not really. I don't gotta touch him to kill him. Or, ideally, I shoot him with the neutralising dart and use him to defeat the Blade.

5. The Blade. Sigh. My only ideas on how to kill him include just not being seen. At all. So that he doesn't even know who's doing the thing. You can't fight someone if there's noone to fight or challenge. The plan is to kidnap Tommy and get him into some metal container on the bottom of the ocean. And then cause him to summon The Blade in one way or another. (Ex. Drug him with some bad mix of drugs causing great distress and fear, insert speakers into the metal box, potentially actually have someone lethal there with him.). The Blade would most likely just tear the walls of the container apart. That would be a mistake. Did you know that some boars can hold their breath up to 20 seconds? Yeah that ain't nearly long enough so technically he'd just doom both himself and Tommy. And also infect the ocean with the red so that's fun.

I enjoyed thinking and strategizing about this more than I thought I would. Concerning.

Had a great time with this one, an invited a special guest to add his insight.

1.Ah trying to safeguard against Tubbo I see. However, while I rag on Philza, I think just handing him a blog would not have the concrete proof enough to believe his entire existence isn’t real. He’s the most mentally stable of the group, and much like when someone is confronted with a conspiracy theorist talking about how reality is an illusion and we live in a simulation, Phil would just roll his eyes and move on with his day. The fic would un-nerve him a bit…but this is a world with anomalies. There’s a thousand possible explanations for someone with partial omniscient (say, Tubbo), and though I think the chapters from his perspective would very much creep him out, Philza is DEFINITELY not making that far into the fic before he sets it down and goes to figure out if Tommy is okay. He might not entirely believe the fic reflects real experiences and thoughts, but he will investigate it, and then will be way too busy dad-moding to die. 

What I would try: I think the fastest way to kill Philza is to grab one Wilbur and Redify it, as seen in Fault Whumptober prompt 5. Philza physically can’t fight back, and ultimately is assuming even if he dies he’ll reform in a few minutes. Only, Wilbur can devour conceptual souls and gain power, so chomp chomp lizard boi! 

Problems: Philza just simply leaving, waiting for the Red to wear off, though he may be trying to protect the others. Bathe everything in godflame and scooping up wilbur in dragon mode and just leave, not minding that his hand is getting eaten. When mentally stable he usually needs time to become a dragon though, so that might not work. 

What my partner would try: Amnestics! Force him to forget his beef with the Foundation, then introduce him to a new Foundation Approved™ family. Then one week systematically have all important people in his life leave/say they hate him in rapid succession until he takes so much emotional damage that pure angst murders him, since he takes psychic damage literally. Okay on second thought you pump Phil full of amnestics to erase all of human history to revert him back to a non-person. Like he went insane after only 15-25 years erased but im suuuure you can do it. In 5 year increments. Okay maybe just have him snort Ranboo like cocaine. The Foundation is sure to nail it this time. Then kill him and have the Dovahkiin absorb his soul (me: how do you kill dragon or true form Phil) don’t worrryyy bout it.

2.Assuming step 1 worked….hell no they don’t believe it was an accident. Tubbo could’ve been reading over Phil’s shoulder and knows that what you gave him melted that sucker’s brain, even on accident, so there is absolutely zero trust. None whatsoever. But they aren’t going to attack you about it; actually they will give you a bee high five for killing Phil, even if they disprove of the whole murder thing. They would also see the smoke that you made in the barn, or try to go in and fall asleep so know that way that it’s super duper a trap. Especially since they’d have no reason to go to Phil, since there’s like not a lot that can be done for a pile of words. Tubbo just flies up like 6 feet to stand over your head and give a whole spiel about murder bad. 

What I would try: Pesticide BABYYYYYYY. Specifically consumable, since things that are consumed are shared with the rest of the Hive. I think the first time a trick would work but past that they’d be hella cautious. But enough constant exposure could really strip down the population. As numbers dwindled they’d get more concentrated at the body since they need a set amount of bees to carry it, and just carpet bombing the area with pesticide and smoke bombs would…still likely not kill all of Tubbo, especially since they’d know it was coming and could prepare/try to escape. Even The Blood God couldn’t manage to kill Tubbo. But with luck you could maybe kill the queens? But then they’d raise new ones…arg. Tubbo is invincible. 

What my partner would try: Use a lot of bullets. There is definitely no other better than using a full army armed with muskets. It's the best strategy every I have no idea what you're talking about. Alternatively smoke one (1) cigarette in the general vicinity. Or acme brand dynamite?

3…How are you giving the void access to the real world? Like that would definitely count as killing all the Fault guys don’t get me wrong. I just don’t know how you would do that. Bringing real world objects wouldn’t necessarily give access, just make you a target. My best sketch of how the void gets to devour the real world is by first devouring all of Fault so that nothing stands between. Potentially a hole could be ripped in Fault to the world beyond, you shove Wilbur out it, then make peace with your short life? But I don’t know how a human could make that hole in the first place. If you have an idea feel free to shoot that in the comments, because it would be very very effective. Still I think it would be easier to walk up to me in real life and just…shoot me. Here’s a hint to help you on this quest: something published in Fault doxxed me. Gooood luck! 

What I would try: Midday. Unexpected flashbang. Wilbur goes into a trauma response, meanwhile flood the area with helicopters with spotlights, the kind banned for causing permanent eye damage. Catch him from every angle, then get him with a high voltage taser. You’ll want a lot of people armed with this, because at this point Wilbur’s going to be going crazy with the cannibalism. In the few seconds while the entire void is screaming in agony (wherein most people in the radius experience things like instantly going mad, ear drums/skulls bursting) it won’t be able to fight back and Wilbur won’t be in enough sense to devour the bombs being dropped. 

Problems: Wilbur noticing the helicopters coming and booking it. The void eating the flashbang. Eldritch voice being employed quickly enough to prevent tasers (it’s not extreme when not in agony, but still has some potential to keep distance). Wilbur eating a hole through the ground in order to escape light/attacks, at which point the darkness will be enough for the void to fully retaliate. Wilbur tends to get extremely dangerous when cornered and not holding back, though that could potentially be mitigated by having friends in the area it doesn’t want as collateral damage? Potentially Tommy since otherwise you now are fighting two+ overpowered anomalies. But past a certain point he would be far too pained/scared and even that wouldn’t dampen retaliation. 

What my partner would try: Flashbangs. Or to stop him from attacking, throw tommy at him (no! Then it’ll get Red’d and cause more problem!) Solution: get someone weak to throw Tommy. Or use a lightning bolt for extra traumatic damage. To do so, ally with Thor the god of Thunder, who is sure to help you on your brave quest. Or wait for him to sleep and use a sledge hammer (me: he has insomnia dude) yeah but he has to sleep eventually! Eventually… 

4.Yeah just shoot that man lmao. In his own words:

“Well, no, obviously, like I’m pretty sure a bullet through the head would be a greater weakness. Or like if you blew me up or something. Boom. No more Tommy.” He made exploding gestures with his hands. He figured it would take a fast death to get rid of him, but the Foundation had always preferred slow ones. The crimson was sunk to his elbows and racing up his biceps. “Who’d have guessed a nuclear bomb would’ve taken care of him? Shocker.”

Of course, I would argue that Tommy could be extremely dangerous if he chose to be, but he’s mostly contact based. Well. Unless he starts coating bullets in Red and fighting armies so thick even he can’t miss…anyway like he’s killed more than The Blade at the very least, so, 

What my partner would try: Kill him with a tommy gun

5.Well the not being seen thing won’t work since The Blood God is physically drawn to challengers and battle luck can affect people halfway across the globe if they decided to beef with The Blade through indirect means. So you would hella not survive, but that doesn’t exclude his death as well. I think the ocean thing would deffo work and be very apt considering the ‘sea of voices’. Now I will say, Tommy is extremely used to being tortured, and anything nonlethal with minimal long term damage you can think of the Foundation has done. And, crucially, Tommy values his friend’s happiness over his own wellbeing and has been suicidal in the past. Basically the perfect recipe for a martyr. There’s a good chance he’ll kill himself just to ensure you can’t hurt The Blade. Past that…I mean I know Philza doesn’t change forms in doors, but I don’t know if that’s sense or because magically one can’t create a form where there isn’t physical space? Not something I ever considered. Potentially The Blade could be sliced in half just by trying to be summoned into a too small space, but I figure that would also be something the Foundation tested? Idk man. But assuming he can be summoned, either due to space or suicidal prevention, The Blade would drown. 

What I would try: First, do it when he’s hibernating post large battle, since while The Blood God will destroy people via twisting the universe while asleep, it does limit reaction on his end. Second, a challenger has to be alive for The Blood God's battle luck to be in play. So a suicide bomber could definitely take him. Or a score of them. One of the worst injuries The Blade receives is actually from shrapnel that occurs the second after a battle ends when The Blood God can’t use supernatural luck to avoid it. AI drones could also potentially do a lot of damage, though remote control won’t work at all. Or, get an enemy that’s undead! That one comes up much later :)

Or wait. Potentially has already come up. HOLY HELL DOES TUBBO COUNT AS AN UNDEAD CONSTRUCT- I think Tubbo has double defense against The Blood God omg..

What my partner would try: I think the moment Tommy wakes up in a metal box, even without the claustrophobia, would be bad. You don’t need the drugs. He’s already panicking. (I reminded him of the torture thing and he changed his mind) Actually Tommy has already been in a small metal box for a long time. Just put Jeff the killer in there with him. And watch him say his iconic line ‘im going to jeff the kill you’ 

As for The Blade, all you need is Loony Tunes level unrealistic focus fire from comically large automated weapons. Like the comically large gun from Despicable Me, or an entire wall of machine guns. Oh! I know! Go back in time to when he was a normal pig before he became vessel for The Blood God and kill him then. Also go back in time before the concepts of anger and fire existed, be the first to create those, and then have tiny Philza in your hand and crush. EZ.