#okAY THATS THE LAST ONE IM DONE IM DONE
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@strawberryyosuke mm BOYLIKERS
#nice view amirite yuu <3333#hHHuahwhgHAGWH I LKVE GAY PEOPLE AWHWHWH#I LOVE THESE IDIOTS#THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!! STOPP! THEYRE SO!!#okAY THATS THE LAST ONE IM DONE IM DONE
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???? something something deep discomfort with body image is it generational?????????
#does your soul ever leave your body when your mom says something and youre like a) Ah. thats where this specific pain comes from#and b) not for anything would i perpetuate this to my own daughter should God bless me with one#anyway mother casually dropped mid conv that i ought to weigh myself once a week just to make sure i was eating right#and by Right she means not too much and not too much of what she considers Junk#also my soul left my BODY when i told her what i was wearing to the date tmr#(red pinafore mini dress with tights and a cute little cardigan situation that i actually feel GOOD in)#and she was like is your stomach bloated right now? if it is dont wear it#(the word she used can be bloated swollen or big in chinese)#MA'AM??????????#anyway im glad theres been fortifying work done in my heart bc this wouldve devastated me last year. absolutely CRUSHED me.#but im like okay........ well i look cute and im at a healthy weight. and im starting to eat better. and i only feel nauseous#thinking abt food occasionally. and i dont weigh and measure myself daily anymore. so thats progress.#also i personally think i look cute in that outfit so i think i SHALL wear it tmr.#anyway. thoughts!!!!!
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love seeing his little jumpsuit under his civilian clothes tho
#mha hawks#mha spoilers#mha manga spoilers#bnha spoilers#bnha#bnha leaks#mha leaks#mha 426#bnha 426#bnha manga leaks#hawks#takami keigo#i hope thats enough tags to keep leaks out of people's face#i dont want to be the one to spoil it for people trying to avoid leaks for the last 5 chapters#he is married to his job fr#okay im done
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Emo shit cuz I feel like shit
#i fell asleep#last night#chanting#i wanna die#over and over#so yeah#emo kid#emo boy#emo girl#emocore#emo#im not even emo#idk what has come over me#i havent done emo make up in over a year#honestly#its kinda fun#drastic#mood shift from yesterday#im too babyfaced to be emo#no one takes me seriously#thats okay tho#emo scene#2000s emo#red lipstick#red lip classic#blond girl#blond hair#blond beauty#bleached hair#self image
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Hello OneShot community!
So I am FINALLY ready to release the silly project I've spent the better part of a week working on!
Have you ever wanted your personal desktop to look like the one in the World Machine Edition of the hit game OneShot? Now you can!!!
I took the icons from the game and converted them all into PNGs, cleaned them up a bit for scaling, and converted them to files that your computer can use! (.ico and .cur and .ani files! yippee!!)
I have all the icons in every color theme available in the game, color picked directly from the screenshots. I ALSO have all of the mouse cursors, plus some custom ones I made (like the Person Select cursor, which I haven't even seen in practice, which is the same as the usual pointer but with the Friends app icon added onto it) available for download!
Click here to download them from my DropBox, and if you need help with setting any of it up then check out the "readme" file included for a link to the video tutorials that I also made!
AND IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED ONESHOT GO GET IT ON STEAM OR SWITCH (I recommend first time players go in blind and play the Steam version in windowed mode for best experience hehe)
Anyways, this is my very long-winded, hyperfocus-heavy, personal-project-turned-accidedntally-massive way of saying thank you to @nightmargin and team for making one of my favorite games with a story that I don't think I'll ever forget <3
#oneshot#one shot game#desktop icons#custom mouse cursors#also these are free because i do not own the icons or anything i just made them compatible with my computer!!!#sorry for the tag nightmargin i just wanted to direct any of my followers who dont know about OneShot to you/the game :)#also as an artist i understand the sin of mirroring another persons art but for some of the wallpapers I had to#because the ones that are left-oriented are some of my faves but i am so picky abt my icons being on the left so.#to the various artists that made the wallpapers: forgive me lol#last note PLEASE IGNORE THE ONE FILE EXPLORER ICON THATS DEFAULT STILL my laptop is very old and refuses to update it for some reason :(((#okay im done yapping love u bye :3c#EDIT I JUST NOTICED THE MOUSE CURSOR ISNT EVEN VISIBLE IN THE SCREENSHOTS PLZ BELIEVE ME IT IS THERE AND IT MATCHES AND LOOKS SO GOOD THX 😭
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I've been having more Symptoms than usual lately but that's probably fine and cool right
#like more obsessive/compulsive behavior and dissociation#what if i died driving to my psychiatrist this morning hahaha jk. unless...#literally started dissociating during my appointment with him but i was just like#hm i dont wanna have to change the subject and i dont really have time to bring it up anyway :/ guess ill just deal#then i had a bad scare with my cat after the ONE TIME i didnt do my checking all the locks compulsion and i think that made it worse#had to ask my gf to take us straight home instead of driving us somewhere to get dinner after we went out#bc on the way i was suddenly struck with a Fear that told me that if we kept going that way then something bad would happen#been doing okay for the past few hours i think but now my gf is asleep and i just spent. idk how long?#maybe a few minutes maybe a lot of minutes#pacing back and forth in the bathroom at night in front of the mirror before i finally remembered that i have a phobia of mirrors lol#so. thats where my dissociation is at rn i guess#maybe i just need sleep#thats probably it tbh. havent slept well for weeks/months and i slept even less well than normal last night#probably will delete later i think this is the ventiest vent post ive done in a long time lol#but then again maybe this post isnt even real in the first place 🤔 maybe im not writing or posting it rn 🤔 whos to say#guess i should probably go to sleep either way tho huh#rambling#dissociation tw#unreality tw#?
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to that anon who always reminds me of diakko week, bless you and thank you so much. i wouldve really loved to participate but ive really been busy the past years, was hectic yall. just wanna shout out that person, whoo, ill try and drop something before i disappear again for the final(!) semester. heres a chilling capybara i sculpted tho!

#mine#okay so summary of what happened lmaooo#got out of a toxic friendship last year (yay!) and basically it went from okay to really bad real quicl in a spam of months#so i dont have the motional capacity to even be creative by drawing#i did write and oh boy if it wasnt a life saver#then after that i was drained physically and mentally and emotionally#and also full of rage lol#plus school#so i was being my own therqpist for the past year#well technically for the past 5 years lol#and i got a huge creative block on drawing and writing during that#the drawing was stagnant for longer than the writing#thats why the last drawing i posted wasnt on par as my older ones#writing came back for a few months then disappeared complete the past few months#took up sculpting tho so i might sculpt something from lwa#and yeah#rn its busy due to internship but its the last push!#i might be able tk do diakko week next year#cause im done school on half the year#yassssss#so sorry for the anon that kept on reminding me#i wasnt ignoring you i was just busyyyy#and i wasnt on here most of the time#im here now tho cause wicked is my current hyperfixation lmao#thank you!
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I have to clean bcus my apartment people are coming for an inspection of the floors (for SOME reason) and I really don't want to. I also need to finish up my lab and I still need to prep those fuckin invitations 😭😭😭😭 smh this was some bad timing for an inspection
#speculation nation#and yet that has not stopped me from lazing about the whole morning#i did do cleaning yesterday. for the most egregious things. ive wanted to do the dishes too tho & idk if i'll make it in time#bc i got like half an hour b4 the time range they gave began#and i Also need to work on my lab. ive got progress done on it and tbh i dont even think itll take me That long to do.#but i just need to Do It. and i dont. really want to. agh.#man idk if im gonna be able to get those letters dropped off today. might end up being tomorrow after all. blagh#life just keeps being so busy. and me wanting to take a few hours to myself ends up putting me behind.#head in my hands. just a few more weeks of college. just a few more weeks and i'll be free.#ive been keeping up okay but Man it really does require me to put just about everything else on the back burner.#i want to do my hobbies!!! i havent even built any legos since last weekend!!!!#all i really have time for for relaxing is squeezing in a few one-shot readings here and there. and scrolling on tumblr some. thats it.#no video games no legos no writing. im suffering😭😭😭 let me be FREEEE 😭😭😭#also havent been doing my at-home exercises lol. whoops. gonna need to start working on those today. for physical therapy.#blagh blagh blagh i need to get started on shit now. blagh!!!!!
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500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left. 500 words of this essay left.
#help.#im so close to the finish line#last essay of the year#i am just so burnt out at this point lol#like bro has written what 8 essays in the last 8 weeks? what the fuck#and the last one which i finished literally yesterday was sooo brutal#and this one is general linguistics so brutal is the baseline#but once this is done! i get to live!!#i have a few classes and meetings in the next couple of days but thats it!!!#then it's the winter holidays babey!!#i mean i do have work to do in the holidays too but still#just gotta grit my teeth and get through the last couple of paragraphs#i can do this#the american structuralists will not get the better of me#and tomorrow i can have a nice evening in with my fella and some mulled wine#yes. everything is going to be okay
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buck should be the dad at costco that has four kids in tow who keep convincing him to buy more snacks than they need with a "dad please these are soo good" "cmon we already got---oh dang look at that price. grab two."
#and then when they get home all the kids run off so bucks left unloading it by himself#except eddie meets him at the door with a smile and a “good haul?”#“oh you know it”#and he keeps handing off boxes to eddie#and eddies just getting increasingly concerned bc how much stuff did he get#and buck is finally like “okay ill bring in the last one”#when he gets to the kitchen he just sees eddie staring at all the boxes before shaking his head#“what eds?”#“you spoil those kids” he says before he laughs “buck i dont think all this is gonna fit in the pantry. and the freezer is already full”#and buck just shrugs and says “so we'll get a chest freezer for the basement. actually im surprised we dont already have one.”#“youre unbelievable. you could just say no to two jumbo boxes of popsicles instead of having us a buy a new appliance.”#“but eddieeeee. summer is coming up and they spend so much time outside i want to make sure they stay cool”#eddie just rolls his eyes bc he wouldve done it too but he loves teasing buck “sure buck thats why. def not bc they said please or anything”#and they somehow make everything fit (barely) and collapse on the couch after tetrising the freezer for an hour and eddies like#“okay yeah we are getting a chest freezer”#and buck grins and leans in to plant an obnoxious and sloppy kiss against eddies cheek#eddie swats him away with a laugh and a “get away from me”#and buck says “make me”#so theyre just pushing each other around and giggling#before buck says. “oh did you see i got you a new pack of socks? they had that one brand you like so i grabbed a pack of black ones.”#and eddie didnt see it buck mustve thrown them in the wash before he saw them and eddie suddenly wants buck soooo badly at 3pm on a sunday#so eddie pushes buck against the arm of the couch and kisses him slow and sweet and murmurs “we're going to bed early tonight”#and buck laughs “costco socks get you all hot huh?”#and they kiss and kiss until eddie can taste bucks smile and hes kissing teeth instead of lips “whats so funny buck”#and buck pulls back grinning with a teasing look in his eye and says “you should wear them when i get you off”#eddie shoves him away with a laugh “no im not wearing socks during that its weird”#“eddieeee cmon heehe it would be so cute cuz you love the socks so much”#“i dont love the socks u idiot” “oh u love me” “shut up” and they giggle and push eachother til chris walks in like “u two r embarrassing”#yayyyyyyy#me thinks
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what if I stream tonite. for dragon business
#bakuspeech#taking one (1) day break from comm bc my brain was starting to melt outta my ears#and try to figure out some lunar new year stuff instead#it is now a new year and the red envelope duty has come around once again#second year. I drew cats for the niblings last year. its dragons this time around#and since its like 20 red envelopes I can Probably fix up and assemble the myself#I dont. like the idea of buying red envelopes. esp since there will be like A Doller inside lmao#I'd rather use the card envelopes with something scribbled on top rather than buy red envelopes. idk Im a weirdo abt this#but yeah. dragons first. and then I'll see if the shrink film I have is printable#if not I'll do stickers. I still have sticker paper#thats the plan. I'll probs bring up all the shit that happened to or around me in 2023 on stream lmao#and see if my friends are good to hang out on stream with me#okay. alright. uhhh probs I'll try and be live at 8pm (in 3hrs)? been a slow day Ive done nothing but walking very slowly around the house#mmm. have a good day guys. perhaps see u on stream. lets have fun
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Sleepy!
#bouts of insomnia with no ryhme or reason#but at least i got to dream of memal for twi nights in a row#I thought maybe she was done visiting which is okay maybe its hard#sometimes its hard to see her in dreams although these have been ones where shes fully mobile like when i was real real little#except im always my age no matter how young or old she looks#but had the baby dream back to back too it was real hard last night I dont even remember what the baby looked like she was a girl I know tha#t and memal held her which is all I ever wanted if i had kids I worried i wouldn't have them before she met them and she died just after i#got our of highschool she held my sisters kid irl so thats good she snd my children can be happy in my dreams
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boy the sudden outpour of angst ideas for larissa weems x reader in my brain got me weeping so bad i feel a fever coming on
#ALL YALL POSTING ABT FALLING OUT OF LOVE BUT MY BRAIN GOING 700 MILES FASTER AND 3000 YEARS FURTHER WITH A#the love was still there. it didnt change anything.#ABT READER LEARNING SHE'S DYIG SOON. BUT KNOWS LARISSA IS SWAMPED WITH NEVERMORE & DEALING WITH THE KIDS. AND SHE ALSO LOVES#HER NEVERMORE FAMILY SO MUCH. SHE CANNOT BEAR TO MAKE THEM SAD#AND BC LARISSA IS SO BUSY. SHE HASNT REALLY LOOKED @ HER WIFE. AND TO READER ITS JUST OKAY. AND CREATES A MINI VIDEO JOURNEY#AND LIKE. ITS JUST ALL THE LITTLE THINGS SHE LOVED TO DO WITH LARISSA. AND THE KIDS. AND OF LIFE U KNOW.#and its wonderful and sad and beautiful#but she's dying and she doesn't want anyone else to know; her family had gone the same way too and thats how she wants it to end#and its just. augh. not my brain adding more angst rn#where her one & only friend notices#and is the one bringing her to all her doctor's appointments (outside jericho ofc. she knows her wife would know the instant had she been#diagnosed there) and like. Larissa getting more and more suspicious of their outings and accuses r of infidelity#.......and at this point r is just. done. and lies.#and gets out of Larissa's life. and everyone's just. shocked & devastated#R leaves but also begs her friend to go away. because she's just counting her days at this point. and you know what#the kicker here is that they agree knowing this was the last act of kindness they could give her.#AND LARISSA STILL DOESNT KNOW.#and wouldnt have known until Wednesday had a vision of a phonecall that'll shatter her#........shit. im crying again haha#anyways i love cinematic orchestra's i built a home <3 it really gives me such the best angst storylines#personal.txt#clown.txt#mod lee speaks stuff#idea.txt#larissa weems#larissa x reader#larissa weems x reader#lee writes#lee writes stuff#my fic
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I have had a VERY busy week (positive but very very socially draining) and I am ABOUT to have a few days of work and then ANOTHER very busy week (work, 2 different appointments and a job interview) and I just wanna take a moment and remind myself that I may take longer to do things than average but im still DOING them and it's. Okay to still feel tired several days after making a phonecall
#idk im having a lil moment of clarity/calm in the middle of.#what feels like a storm of there Always Being Something that i need to do#and thats never gonna go away but its okay to take a breather here and there to help me keep pushing at it#feeling very positive today bc i got offered an interview for a youth councillor role locally#the main problem with it is its 20 hours a week and a 6 month contract. so i cant leave my current job for it#BUT it would allow me to reduce my hours a bit doing something hopefully less emotionally intense#the coffee shop below us ia recruiting again too which. isnt the best look tbh but i think if im doing two jobs id rather#have one there bc like. ive done fast food#i know i can handle it at its worst for at least a while and the bougie coffee place isnt likely to hit those peaks#so yeah! lots of stuff going on lots to do#definitely not talking to friends as much as i should be#but heres kind of why i guess and currently at least im. feelin pretty good!#we also made it through last month without asking for help#which. is huge but being undercut a little by me spending more than i intended and being mega nervous abt it#not sure how this month is gonna go. but. baby steps.
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i just want someone to be fucking proud of me, ill take anything at this point, i try so fucking hard
#i cant tell how much is my bpd or my autism and how much is no one fucking likes me but jesus christ#im not somewhere that i can just ask for physical affection or help or even say im not doing well and have anything be done for me#not that i ever was but still#i ate multiple times today#i took my meds#i showered last night#i do dishes and i cook and i dont complain if i can help it#im trying so hard to be normal and understand whats going on around me#but the most affirming thing thats been said to my face is “okay.”#i miss my cat i cant keep doing this
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utilizing the power of gay love and my girlfriend believing in me to push through the 11 pages of writing due Thursday o7
#she believes and i cant keep worrying her by joking about jumping into traffic#got 2 pages done tonight in the last like 45 minutes after locking in so i only have 5 left to finish one so i can do that in like 3 hours?#and then the other is only 4 pages so i can do it#the power of gay love and adhd focus music is gonna get me through finals i can feel it#i literally just have to get to friday and im clear ill only have 4 more assignments after that and 2 of them im already mostly done with#and the other 2 arent due until next friday and should be quick#and exams are next week but thats fine im a good test taker ill be okay#maybe its midnight delusions maybe im just pulling through whos to say#she speaks??#girlfriend tag <33
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