#okAY PLEASE I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT LOOP THIS SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN....

[swagginmun]

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵!

[nct-krown]

‘ 𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚈 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝙰 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙸𝚃𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙸𝙽𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙸𝚃𝚈? ’

PLOT hyunjin and jade were stuck in a vicious cycle that trapped the in a house of glass. until everything finally shatters around them

CHARACTERS hwang hyunjin ˒ jade-bella li ˒ gina liu

mention of mimi ( @inter-stellar-jyp ) & haechan of nct

WORD COUNT 2.1k

GENRE straight up angst

a/n this is entirely from hyunjin’s pov to try explore their dynamic in a way that would better highlight jades toxic and borderline abusive nature.

TW/ contains slight violence and abusive language. heavily explores toxic relationships. please proceed with caution.

[ nov ‘21 ]

being around jade was draining.

hyunjin knew that that’s not what a good boyfriend would say when talking about spending time with the person they’re in love with , but it was true. he always felt absolutely drained of life when he was around her for too long.

without fail any genuinely romantic and heartfelt moment they’d had was ruined before he could even bask in the warmth of it. and 9 times out of 10 it wasnt hyunjin ruining the mood, it was jade and she was at it again. all it took was a notification to set her off as if they hadn’t just been staring into each others eyes whispering how they loved each other more than words could describe. as soon as he felt the shift in her mood he found himself compulsively opening his phone to check the time or for a text from the members- the only messages she’d accept - that would force him to leave early.

hyunjin knew what they had wasn’t what love was supposed to feel like. when they were good it felt leven better than any love song could describe but when they were bad they were cataclysmic. and so he still found himself dreading the time he got to spend with her. he knew that the way that they fought wasn’t healthy, it took him an embarrassingly long time to actually acknowledge that. the fact that they spent most nights fighting and fucking, was not normal. he knew because they weren’t always like this. but he had come to accept that that was how they were. and he just needed to adapt to jade and tread lightly. but that wasn’t okay … and he was starting to go crazy.

he was living in a loop, arguing about the same thing over and over with the same points and same reactions every time. how many times could one person live the same scenario before it was considered insanity.

“are you just gonna sit there and stare at me hyunjin? who is mimi and why is she checking if you’re still coming?” jade snapped her fingers in his face, breaking him out of the daze he’d fallen into. his frustration threatened to fade as he looked over her again. her face was pretty as always but the scowl on it seeped with venom. that was what had his heart steadying. despite her beautiful eyes staring holes into his own he couldn’t live this insane cycle anymore.

“like i keep saying, mimi is just another idol at jyp.we hardly fucking speak ,” he spoke softly as he ran his hand through his long black hair. hyunjin genuinely felt like he was losing his mind. he was reliving the same moment over and over again with different girls he knew being thrown in each time.

this was nothing new for them. jade was constantly complaining about every minute thing hyunjin would do.honestly speaking hyunjin never actually did anything, it was always what jade thought he’d done. her conscience was constantly filling in blanks in a way that always made hyunjin look like a cheater and without fail he always disproved them. he would never do to her what she did to him.

there was even a time jade had tried to end his lifelong friendship with heeyoung over her sensing “bad vibes” and that had been almost 2 years ago. she did not care to listen to how she was the closest thing he’d had to a sibling. she hated heeyoung from the moment she met her and still did. heeyoung may have had a crush on him but they tried and never went beyond an awkward and awful kiss that no one even remembered. she refused to believe him and so she had become a forbidden topic. 2 years …they had been living this was for 2 whole fucking years.

“clearly you fucking do she called your fucking phone. do you think i’m stupid?”

hyunjin threw his face in his hands as he mumbled, “oh my god jade.” he groaned softly , throwing his head back. he just wanted to return to their comfortable cuddles, “can we not do this today? just come back to the bed.” he pleaded but jade was unfazed by his words.

“we’re only here because of you hyunjin. all you do is be disrespectful then get upset when i rightfully fucking call you out!”

hyunjin closed his eyes for a while before opening them slowly , “disrespectful? organizing to practice for my job is disrespectful?” his words came out more condescending than he intended and he knew how she would react.

“you’re actually so dumb hyunjin. why the fuck is it okay that mimi can call you at 8 fucking pm.”

he hated when she called him stupid or dumb and she knew that. he hated how she always undermined his intelligence despite him constantly achieving well in school. she would call him names whenever he upset her and it hurt him in a way he couldn’t move on from. someone who loved you would never say that.

“answer my fucking question hyunjin.” jade’s voice raised slightly , it was the type of detail only he could pick up on. she was about to lose it. and no matter how fed up he would get with jade seeing her so worked up never made him feel good.

jade let out a loud dramatic huff as she rolled her eyes, “so what you have nothing to say?”

“no jade i don’t!” he stared blankly at her. “she just wanted to talk about practice. what do you want me to do she’s my fucking colleague i can’t ignore her.” he stressed the word colleague growing unbearably irritated the longer they spoke.

jade folded her arms across her chest pressing against her boobs and making them pop out slightly. he didn’t mean to focus on them but jade always looked sexy when she was mad. which explained why these fights ended the way that they did. right now he hated that she was so hot. “if that’s true why the fuck does she have your number. colleagues don’t need your number.”

“how else is she supposed to contact me for practice.” he stressed the last word, unable to understand how she was reacting the way she was when the answer was so obvious. “jade have you not done a collab stage? you know what i’m talking about for fucks sake.” he’d given up on his usual calm approach. his exasperation was so obvious and jade hated when she could not bend conversations the way she wanted them to.

jade clicked her tongue as a response to the sass in his tone. “yeah and our staff organized it. it’s weird that you have her number hyunjin.”

hyunjin had grown tired of trying to de-escalate the situation. it was hard to not jab back when she was purposely pressing all of his buttons. she was purposely trying to break him the way she always did. convince him she was the only thing that made him worth anything but there’s only so much breaking he could take before shattering.

“oh ?me having my co workers number is weird?”

jade nodded her head dramatically as if to say ‘duh without words. that was enough to stop him from holding back. he was done.

“but you still having hyuck’s fucking number in your phone is totally normal right jade!”

the flood gates had opened.

the silence that followed was as loud and frightening as a clap of thunder.

jade rolled her eyes. “we’re in the same fucking group hyuni. ” she placed her hand on her hip as she stared down at him he sat on her bed. despite her affectionate name for him she was clearly trying to intimidate him with her stare. making him feel below her. “he’s actually my co worker. you bring this up every fucking time.”

hyunjin groaned loudly as he threw his arms up,“yeah jade cause you fucking cheated on me!” he yelled, feeling all his emotions overwhelm him once again.

jades jaw dropped as her eyes narrowed. trying to recover to not show him how his defiance had thrown her off she quickly clenched her jaw as her body tensed in a way only hyunjin would notice. and he always did. she was in defense mode.

“oh my god it was months ago, get over it”

it was now hyunjin’s turn for his jaw to drop. trying his best to keep his voice level he let out a long sigh as he got up from the bed. it groaned at the loss of weight on top of it.

“get over it?” he questioned quietly as he approached jade towering over her. he knew that their height gap- although usually adorable- was intimidating. it was clear that the atmosphere had shifted, their anger heightened as well as their mutual sexual attraction. jade saw the opportunity to wrap him back in her web and took it.

she softly placed her hands on his chest and attempted to shove him as it was a joke but he knew her true intentions. he barely moved. she tried 3 times following that. this time she could barely hide her anger. she quickly reset as she batted her eyelashes the way that always made his knees buckle. with a sultry smirk she stepped closer to him, “get the fuck over it!” she punctuated each word with a stab into his chest with her freshly manicured finger. she smiled sweetly as if she hadn’t just screamed the most disgusting words in his face.hyunjin wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look off of jade’s face. how dare she.

the eye contact they held was intense. everything about them was intense. from their love to their sex and clearly to their fights. and neither of them could deny the sexual tension that bubbled between them but that day hyunjin refused to cave like he always did.

“hyuni…” she drawled out his nickname as she alluringly grabbed him by the pocket of his hoodie. she looked up at him with her signature sweet doe eyes. he was not going to fold even if the feeling of her right hand gently touching his cheek had the strings of his chest tug in the way that always reminded him that he loved her. he subconsciously leaned into her, their lips a whisper apart before she spoke.

“we can’t dwell on that forever…”

and just like that any sweetness he felt dissipated into thin air. he pulled his head away from her face so fast it caught the small girl by surprise. hyunjin shook his head as he gently removed her from his body. he can’t let the familiarity of their cycle trick him into staying again. it was taking away pieces of him and he had to do something about it.

without another word hyunjin grabbed his gym bag that he’d thrown carelessly on the floor when he entered. “what are you doing?” jade questioned as she watched him gather his belongings. “hello?” she attempted to gain his attention once again clapping loudly between the syllables of the word .

hyunjin refused to answer because he knew how this would end. she’d sweet talk him with her usual ‘i love you so much you make me crazy” and her intoxicating kisses making him ignore everything in an attempt to cling onto the glimmer of hope that they were still in love. it would end with him having to cancel on mimi and just to inevitably fight once again over whatever other tiny thing she’d nit pick at. and at the end of it all they’d make up after a round of life changing sex leaving hyunjin questioning everything .

he paused with his hand on her room door handle. his mind couldn’t help but run wild with all the images of him turning back to her and kissing her at the crown of her head as she wrapped her arms around him , eyes teary as she softly kissed him.before he could overthink it anymore, hyunjin swung open her room door not bothering to look back at her but by the sound of feet pattering behind him he knew she was following him.

“the silent treatment? really hyunjin? are we fucking 12?” she yelled as she followed him through her dorm not caring to be discreet. she was never one to care about on lookers often loving the spectacle of it all. there had been multiple occasions where she’d have outbursts with hyunjin always begging her to go somewhere private but it never worked. they were that couple.

hyunjin could hear doors opening as he paced towards the corridor. as he reached for the back door that he usually took to not be seen by any staff jade firmly gripped his wrist.

“if you walk out that door hyunjin i swear to god…” she warned between clenched teeth as her grip tighter, her stilleto nails digging into his skin, leaving deep dents and grooves behind.

“or what jade?” he sighed looking at her with a blank face. her face was red with anger, imaginary smoke coming out from her ears like a cartoon. yet she still looked so beautifully captivating. he wanted to look at her longer but he couldn’t be spellbound once again.

jade let out an angry huff out of her nose , “you’d be fucking stupid.” she spat the words in his face, his lack of reaction only worsened her already overwhelming anger.

he hated when she called him stupid. she knew that. hyunjin was a firm believer of love being worth fighting for , hence why him and jade had come to so many loud plate smashing blows yet he stayed. you have to fight for things that matter. but jade knew the words that hurt the most and constantly berated him with them. surely someone that loved you wouldn’t purposely try to hurt you… right?

hyunjin yanked his wrist out of her tight and lethal hold before staring directly into her sparkling eyes.

“guess i’m fucking stupid then.”

with that he swung the door open as jade screamed in frustration. “hwang hyunjin get back here right now! oh my god hyunjin! where the fuck are you even going?” her words came out muddled as her anger consumed her.

hyunjin said the sentence he knew would sting the most right now. she needed to hurt the way she constantly made him hurt. “i’m going practice with mimi.” he said calmly, not looking back as he descended down the staircase.

jade didn’t say anything but hyunjin could hear her incoherent yelling. before he could process anything hyunjin heard the sound of shattering glass giving him a fright and making him spin around faster than what felt humanly possible. his eyes focused on the stream of water that cascaded down the stairs like a tiny waterfall. jade had thrown the vase that held flowers he’d gotten for her down the stairs as she glared at him. he could tell she was crying by the way her eyes shone. the streaks down her cheeks were barely noticeable but he could see them as if they were highlighted.

hyunjin felt his heart shatter so loud he felt it ring in his ears. the flowers scatter around with shards of stained glass that he painted like the sunset. some shards landing right in front of his new converse sneakers. he felt the familiar sting in his eyes as he continued to just stare at the scene happening in front of him. did she mean to throw the base down the stairs because she didn’t care about his attempts at trying to bring them back to their old selves ? … or was she aiming at him and missed. either way he felt a sob get stuck in his throat but he swallowed it down. she couldn’t know she hurt him. that’s exactly what she wanted.

how could something that feels so perfect simultaneously feel like the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

he hadn’t even noticed how long they stood there just staring at each other until he faintly heard gina’s voice from within the dorm. “jade is everything okay?”

“perfect. she spat the words out with so much venom that hyunjin felt his skin burn just at the sound of them. hyujin nodded as he watched her slam the door shut leaving him alone in the stairwell of water, shattered glass and peonies. he felt as if any light inside him had vanished, leaving him just as dim as the light above him illuminating the dark stairwell. he was drained.

jade drained everything out of him.

[gluion]

on the drive home ➵ ji changmin

the three times changmin thought you two would be okay, and the one drive home that made him realize he was wrong.

requested by @vernyangel for the song "on the drive home" by niki

genre/warnings ➵ angst no happy ending, established relationship, afab reader (no-gendered terms), lowercase intended, reader is shitty but changmin still excuses their actions, jiwoo is chuu btw, chanhee is the best friend who knocks sense into changmin, sadly no proper conversation about the problem happens

word count ➵ 2.6k words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @vernyangel @mosviqu

a/n ➵ took me a bit to really pump this out :') spent so long just looping this song to really get my thoughts out. i hope you enjoy this @vernyangel! thank you for always supporting me bff </3 i hope this does justice to your request, and i hope i can do well in your other one as well. please don't forget to reblog (even if it's in your tbr!)

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! want to request? check out my guidelines! masterlist

it’s a slurry of orange and red hues that cascade all over town. the buildings are only but a blur of figures that fill the windshield, and the pavements do not hold a living soul. with the windows rolled down, warm tones fill the car, the faux leather seems to glow, and the hands on the steering wheel reflect the shades of the city. 

anything but silence fills the car; the melodies from the radio are low, and the whispers of the wind hit against eardrums. but these sounds are not enough to break the tension between changmin and you.

he doesn’t bother to talk like all the other drives back home. for once, it’s quiet on his end. he does not bother to admire the hues of the sky, and he decides against commenting on the songs from your playlist. instead, he looks at you all while your eyes are trained on the road.

he leans back in his chair, head pointed to you, and takes in the sight. the hazy buildings along with the sun setting are only a background made for you, and shades of orange make your skin glow. to him, you still look like the same person he first knew—the one who transformed the meaning of home—but now, you are nothing like the one he fell in love with.

a disheveled maze, constellated and intertwined, but somehow, my favorite kind

the sounds emitting from your speaker bounce on the four walls, filling your room with the sweet harmonies of niki accompanied by plucked guitar strings. the lamp shines over sprawled notes written in handwriting only you can decipher. all while you work, changmin is lying down on your bed. his hums come and go, his attention being divided to whatever he comes up on his phone.

the familiar strumming of a guitar plays out; it’s one you and changmin know by heart. he’s ready to sing along to snow patrol, murmuring during parts he didn’t know the lyrics to. then the song is cut short; an unfamiliar tune plays out. his eyes snap away from his phone to stare at your slouched figure by the table.

“awe, why’d you change it?” he whines. not a single response comes from you. he frowns at your back but decides to not ask again. maybe his voice was too soft for you to even hear him, or you were too caught up in your work to pay attention to his thoughts. either way, he wanted to respect your study time so long as you took enough time to rest.

a bell rings out. changmin looks back to his phone to see a text message from chanhee—are we still meeting for dinner?

“hey, are you still up to have dinner with chanhee?” changmin asks as he sits up, hair ruffled into a mess, and still…

this isn’t the first time you’ve done this. you were the type to not answer if you were caught up with something. but changmin is used to it, understanding that you needed the space to focus which resulted in tuning everything out.

he stands up and walks towards you, his hands landing on your shoulders. still, no reaction. he starts to frown at your behavior. usually, you would at least acknowledge him at this point. “earth to y/n?”

a disgruntled sound leaves you as your eyes remain on your notes. you still continue to rewrite them all while changmin stands behind you. “do you want to have dinner with chanhee?” he asks once more only to be met with you shaking your head. he hums for a moment before suggesting, “do you want me to order some food instead?”

“no.” it’s the first time he’s heard you speak since he arrived.

a pout appears on his lips. “but… you haven’t eaten.”

“pointing out the obvious, mister.” the tone is harsh, enough to have him flinch. the grip on your shoulders loosened. in front of him was a version of you he wasn’t used to. it almost seemed like you were mad at him but he didn’t know why. 

you let out a sigh. “sorry, i’m just not in the mood today.” the apology that leaves your lips almost sounds genuine. “i just have a lot of things to work on, and i need to do it now or i’ll be behind.”

changmin nods before letting go of you. “is there anything i can do?” you go back to saying nothing, only shaking your head once more, and he takes it as a sign to not bother you further.

“okay,” he whispers, taking a few steps away from you. “i’ll go have dinner then with chanhee, okay?” once again, you don’t respond; you don’t even bother to shake your head this time.

he quickly types a reply to his best friend—yeah, it’ll just be us. y/n’s got some work to catch up on. he grabs his bag that rests against your bed frame and looks back to you whose back still faces him. he walks to you and faces your cheek. a frown rests on your face, clearly concentrated on the work you’re doing.

“i’ll go, okay? just let me know once you’ve eaten.” the question is soft, but your hardened expression doesn’t falter. so he kisses your cheek, lips lingering a few seconds more than usual, before saying, “love you, take care.”

“stay safe.” your response is almost soundless, but changmin catches it. he grins at your words—it’s enough to patch up the wound you inflicted moments ago. so he exits your room, leaving you the space you seem to need.

floating in a sea of missed calls and excuses

it’s cold tonight; the wind comes in waves, hitting changmin’s cheeks in full force, and the leaves rustle along. he loves it when the weather is like this; it’s an excuse to wear hoodies without having his fingers fall off. but most of all, it’s an opportunity for him to snuggle up in bed with you. he would rest his nose against your cheek and leave trails of kisses all over your collar area, only until you’d tell him to stop from how ticklish it feels.

but tonight, he stands in the dark right outside of your favorite restaurant. the luminescence pours out, the chatter from customers and staff seeps through the cracks of the windows, and the smell of dishes lingers in the air. everyone seems like they’re having the time of their lives—can changmin say the same for himself?

his eyes stare at his shared messages with you—still no response from you. a sigh leaves him.

you were not the type to ditch plans. if something came up, you would message him as soon as you found out. but now, it’s 30 minutes past the time you were supposed to meet him, and there was no message regarding your absence. so he calls you, places his phone against his ear, and waits for your answer.

it rings for a while. changmin is almost scared you won’t pick up—what if you lost your phone? what if you were kidnapped? or what if you got into an accident?

“changmin-ah!”

changmin lets out a sigh of relief as he hears your voice. “where are you?” he can hear the faint sounds of music playing from your end, but he doesn't hear a word from you. “y/n?”

“huh? oh, sorry. what were you saying?”

his eyes flicker to the restaurant sign. “where are you? i’m already here.”

“already whe—oh, there!” you cough. “i can’t make it.”

changmin frowns before asking, “what’s wrong? are you okay?”

“yeah, i just can’t make it.” he bites the inside of his cheek as he listens intently to your words. 

“but we planned this for a while now.” he looks down to the ground as he paces around, kicking a stone off the sidewalk. “we haven’t gone on a date in months,” he whispers.

“i’m with jiwoo right now.”

his eyebrows shoot up before he asks, “is she okay?” he doesn’t want to make you feel guilty if your best friend needs you. you only hum back in response. “okay, do you want me to pass by?” not a single response comes from you. all he can hear is the muffled sounds of chattering and the faint notes of whatever song is playing in the background.

“hello?” he calls out once more.

“oh, sorry! i was talking to jiwoo. anyways, i really have to go!”

“oh, okay. love—” the call drops. “—you…” the last word trails into a whisper. you don’t even bother to say your usual farewell.

he bites the inside of his cheek as he looks down at his phone, looking back at his chat with you. as he replays the conversation, a prickly feeling consumes his heart—enough to form cuts on the organ but not enough to stab it all the way through.

the next thing he knows, he’s calling his best friend. two rings later, he picks up, even faster than you did. “changmin-ah?”

“hey, chanhee. have you had dinner?” changmin asks as he walks into the restaurant. he quickly tells one of the staff his name for his reservation.

“oh! i was about to.”

the waitress signals that they have his table, and so he follows her to where he’ll be seated. “okay. do you wanna have dinner with me?” he asks.

as they arrive at the table, he notices the setup is nicer than usual. a candle sits in the middle of a pile of fake rose petals, and a bottle of your favorite wine in an ice bucket standing beside it—they’re all special requests made by him just for you. so he signals to the waitress to clean up the roses and remove the candle. the wine that was meant to be shared with you will now be shared with his best friend instead.

“huh? i thought you were going on a date with y/n.”

changmin sighs before taking a seat saying, “something came up. they’re with jiwoo right now.” he watched her clean up the table, leaving the two sets of tableware untouched.

a beat passes.

“okay,” chanhee whispers back. “i’ll see you at that restaurant, right?” and changmin only hums before hanging up on him.

when his best friend arrived, changmin smiled at him. thankfully, tonight’s reservations would not be wasted. but for the rest of the dinner, changmin avoided talking about you.

i sit here with glistening eyes as the stripes on my back chip and dry

changmin stands outside of the door, a plastic bag full of your favorite takeout food in his hand. tonight was supposed to turn out right; come home with boxes of chinese food and spend the rest of the time talking about nothing or everything—whichever you wanted—but he doesn’t know where he went wrong.

the door swings open and it reveals his best friend. confusion paints chanhee’s face, but changmin grins as he raises the bag up. “i brought some food if you haven’t eaten.” the smile on his face is bittersweet. no matter how many times he may try to play this whole thing off, chanhee knows his best friend.

so chanhee only nods and steps to the side, letting him into his apartment. it’s instinctive for him—go to the kitchen, remove the food, and microwave it. so chanhee goes to the fridge, pulls out two cans of beer, and sets them on the table. as soon as dinner is ready, the two sit across from each other before digging into the meal.

from how changmin looks, it seems like he isn’t up to talking. all he wants to do is eat in silence, but chanhee knows it would be wrong to leave this situation hanging in the air.

“so, what’s up with you two?” changmin looks up to see his best friend whose eyes are on him as he slurps up some noodles.

“what do you mean? everything is fine,” he shoots him a smile before grabbing some beef and broccoli. as he chews away, chanhee sighs as he shakes his head.

“you know that’s a lie.” his best friend is always the type to be straightforward. if changmin was wearing an atrocious outfit, chanhee would let him know. if he was overreacting, his best friend would knock some sense into him. but most of all, if chanhee smelled bullshit on changmin’s end, he would call it. chanhee believes that his best friend’s situation is no different.

so chanhee asks, “what happened tonight?” but changmin refuses to answer, letting the silence take over—it’s enough to speak for him. he bites the inside of his cheek, drops the fork on his plate, and rests his arms on the table. as he looks intently at changmin, he says, “i think you need to talk to them.”

changmin rips his gaze away from chanhee, looking down at the food that he moves around on his plate. usually, he would listen to what his best friend would have to say, but now, he wished he could block him out.

“i wouldn’t talk about it if you didn’t want to,” chanhee starts off. “but i can’t stand watching this unfold any further. i don’t want you to keep getting hurt.”

changmin only sighs as he continues to play with his food until he feels his best friend grab hold of his hand. he looks up to see chanhee whose face is painted with concern. “i’m serious.” it’s a testament to the gravity of the elephant in the room you and he share. “this isn’t healthy, and you know that.”

changmin wishes he could retort back—you two were only going through a rough patch because of different schedules and priorities. if chanhee dissed his outfit, he would defend his fashion choices. if his best friend thought he was overreacting, he would justify his behavior by pointing out the circumstances that brought this reaction.

but the only time changmin could never defend himself is when chanhee calls bullshit on him, so he chooses to stay silent. he doesn’t try to argue with his best friend. instead, he only eats his food and hopes that this will pass—you two will be okay.

but for now, the night is young, and you are here, and snow patrol just came on the radio

changmin breathes in the sight of you, almost like it’ll be the last time he’ll ever see it, and bites on his tongue. the words shall remain unspoken. but a familiar song starts to play out, a shared favorite between you two, and he cannot help but feel his sentiments start to spill out.

“it this the end?” the question is almost soundless but he knows you hear it over the vocals of snow patrol. your hands grip on the steering wheel, and you swallow down nothing. still, your eyes remain on the road.

changmin hopes you shake your head, telling him that everything is fine, or maybe even ask what he’s pertaining to. he wouldn’t have it in him to let go of what you two formed together—a home in each other in a town that never did justice to the term. he’s only learned what it means to have one through you because you built it with him. any other response would be fine so long as it wasn’t an affirmation of his fears.

but the worst came like the breeze that hit changmin’s cheeks—you nod without sparing a glance. with a simple nod, everything he knew disintegrated.

you held the sledgehammer and swung it against his heart made of glass, and the shattered pieces fling against the wall. that action alone should be enough for him to feel anger, despair, sorrow. but he’s okay with picking up the glass shards, left to clean the mess you left because you’re still home to him even if he may not be yours.

without uttering another word, he lets his eyes drift to the road—this will be the last time you two go on the same path. but for now, he’ll remain content with his last moments with you.

if you enjoyed reading this, please reblog!

[linabirb]

For the milgram ask game! 1, 2 for all the MVs, as well as 18 for all the prisoners. :>

tysm aurora!!

1. "favorite song lyrics?"

haruka:

"if only i could do what anyone else could do, the right future unfairly chose the wrong me"

"you praised me by saying "you're crazy", thank you, i'll do my best"

"if with one click and i can reset everything, can i be your favorite this time?"

"mommy, look, i've done great, "there, there, my good boy!""

yuno:

"am i a bad girl? please don't answer. what do you want to do? please tell me"

"what type of girl do you like? i want to become like that, but that's probably too hard for me"

"i'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in"

"so nauseating... so creepy.. will you please disappear? "phew. anyway!""

"let's just do it, please smile"

"desire, bestow and desire again, the episode reloading on an endless loop"

fuuta:

"you apologize if you do something wrong, you learn that even before words, don’t you?"

"you and you, throwing around rules for fun, hoisting up morality and feeling good, should I succumb, make your wish come true? Full of yourselves, are you?"

muu:

"but i guess some of it is my fault, maybe it’s ok as it is"

"just one more time before saying goodbye, i’m just kidding, please forget i said that"

"let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me, postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret, the stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note, "i love YOU""

"i told you i'm the queen and it's always the same, god gave me everything, everything is as i wish"

"sorry for hurting you, i didn't mean it, i am doing this just because of being bored, we are just the same"

shidou:

"after you cry a lot, of course it will end up that way, choose, how to live your life, we only live once"

"now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display"

""throw down", ethics is a delusion, i’m still guilty even if the morning comes"

"killing, extracting, i still won’t see them again, i need to be tagged as RED"

"the correct answer, i don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding, so hey, prolong my life, i’m indispensable"

mahiru:

"i can't help myself because i want to see your cute confused face, i'm sorry"

"i pretended to be a good girl, but really, i don't want to say "i'm okay""

"we fought sometimes, i was happy to get hurt, let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad"

"clothes food shelter + love and miss you, "see you next week?" sounding in cadence"

"my lethal weapon: "this is how to be in love with you""

"this can't go on, something's got to give, i even love saying the words "i love you""

"tell me, oh tell me, why can't i just do it right"

kazui:

"i imagined that you saying "see you" is the same as "it's over""

"where did i go wrong, probably from the beginning"

"it's for the sake of true love, who wouldn't lie for that?"

"i wanted to be loved, just like a cat"

amane:

"but it’s not scary at all, because it’s love"

"the "it can’t be helped", from the scum who can’t be helped that makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY"

"so nary a sound can be uttered a second time, i’ll crush your throat too"

"after you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless "i’m sorry""

"so there is no second time, i’ll give back the judgment that you gave to me"

"remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of "i’m sorry" that i said to you?"

mikoto:

"snuggle together and say "good night", switch, shake up that brain"

"i'm probably not to blame, it's probably nothing"

"welcome home, another day, another day with that hardly barely there of a smile"

"cling to me, hoist me up as your "savior", stand up and sing your gratitude"

kotoko:

"shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion, "i didn’t mean to offend”, "i won’t do it again", how many wins in a row?"

"laugh and i can get to like myself"

"i want to be drowning in the knowledge that i am right"

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

SO UH. tumblr pic limit happened. so um. everyone gets only two frames even though there's SO MANY MORE I WISH I COULD SHOW.

haruka:

yuno:

fuuta:

muu:

shidou:

mahiru:

kazui:

amane:

mikoto:

kotoko:

18. which non-deco vocaloid songs do you think suit them?

haruka: this is like. the most basic choice anyone could ever make and i'm definitely NOT the first person to say this but yeah sure you're a useless child by kikuo will do. also mmmmmaybe happy days by ghost and pals?? that one feels like a more romantic song to me (I MEAN IT STARTS WITH "KISS MY TONGUE MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER JDJSDKSLSL) but like.. some lyrics really remind me of haruka.. wanting to go back to the time when you were happy.. when you were loved.. but also knowing you'll never be the kind of person other people want you to be and you've lost the qualities/traits that they loved you for..

yuno: i've seen this one before and romeo and cinderella by doriko reminds me a lot of her! because. yeah. yeah. also ladylike by kira bc girlboss vibes!

fuuta: UH... bad girl online by minus-p... IDK????

muu: CAN I JUST GIVE HER WORLD IS MINEDHJDKDLSDLD

shidou: UHHHHH.... if we're just.. talking about vibes.. maybe the disease called love by neru???

mahiru: hmmm i might be reaching here but.. ykw i'll go with a clingy boy sticking for 15 years by manbo-p. the level of desperation and loyalty shown there really reminds me of mahiru.

kazui: I DON'T KNOW....

amane: THIS SONG CAME OUT LITERALLY TWO DAYS AGO AND IT FEELS AMANECORE TO ME and it's angel 92 by maretu!

mikoto: fruiting bodies by r.i.p bc. i mean. y e a h

kotoko: again. no thoughts. head empty. sometimes i forget that she exists and i apologize

[yahargulian]

HELLOOOO I HAVE WRITING ASKS FOR YOU

6, 8, 13 (drop the music recs!!!), 29, 39 (begging you to tell the people about the blast furnace. if you want!!), 43, 57

ahem i would also like to take this chance to announce that kim is an AMAZING writer (and an amazing person full stop) and everyone should keep your eyes peeled for their fics in the future because whoooy boy their current serennedy wips and ideas are SOOOO GOOD and i’m not even really in the fandom??? but i live for every snippet i’m sent???

hehe please enjoy 💓💓

AAAAA Jamie holy shit.. Bestie you're gonna make me blush aaaa 👉👈

Whenever I do actually get these fics finished and published, everyone go thank Jamie for all his hype and support and for being my fandom screaming buddy adkjhga AND ALSO if you happen to watch a funky little show called KinnPorsche you should go read their fics like! Right the fuck now! And also keep an eye out for new ones in the future because I have also seen snippets of Jamie's wips and ideas and WOWIE is that fandom in for a treat or two. Or several hehe

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

"Unpleasant didn’t quite cut it." Which is from the same extract I answered with here, and is the last line I've written from any of my wips at the moment... But, I'm also gonna give you the last line I've written from the other fic I'm currently working on. As a treat! "Krauser had changed right there beside Leon, and he had never even noticed." I really am just making Leon go through it in two very different ways at the moment ahdgjkhag

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

"And maybe it had fulfilled the purpose for which it was designed, no longer held a practical use to him. But, as he breathed in, he felt its weight soft against his chest. And for a moment he couldn't exhale. A soft warmth bled in his chest; from his lungs, from his heart, from the weight of metal over both. Held. Like a promise. "No," he breathed, finally. Then, surely, "no, nothing." Not all purposes were practical, after all."

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I do! But I'm really really awkward about it aghkdgjdakg it depends on the vibe really! Usually music with lyrics distracts me (my brain starts focusing on the lyrics oops) so unless I'm listening to a specific song or songs on loop, I usually listen to video game soundtracks There are some scenes and stuff that call for a specific kind of vibe - or just silence as a last resort if I can't find anything to listen to - but lately I've been listening to boss battle music, of all things. This playlist, to be exact This is my hype music! My 'Getting Shit Done' playlist. I used to listen to a lot of this while doing uni assignments, and have been known to listen to it to do even mundane shit. Like laundry

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

People have told me before that my fics have made them cry, and like. Nothing makes me happier honestly. Again with the emotion think, is anything I've written has ever made someone feel something it's the best thing that could possibly happen. So the fact that something I've written has apparently made people feel something so much that they've cried? Hell yeah I'm proud of that!!

39. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

Okay no you're right, the blast furnace fic is pretty self indulgent so I will mention it. Basically, Leon and Luis fuck in the blast furnace, right after the fight against the two Gigantes. And this came about because I realised that this would be one of the best times for them to kiss in the main plot (literally like in an action movie) and also that nobody had written them fucking in the blast furnace yet? And once I realised that I realised how obvious it was to get them to fuck in there - and now here I am. So it's very self indulgent because I wanna see it ahdjkahkjgd but also now that I've started it I'm on a mission to make it as visceral an experience as possible! It's gonna be fucking great I'm really excited for it Honestly tho, most if not all of what I write or try to write is self-indulgent in some way. Hell, the key fic I'm working on is super self-indulgent just because it's basically me working through all my feelings about this damn lab key! And what it means and symbolises and what if what if what if. Everything I write is written because I wanna see it and explore it and experience it! It's all self-indulgence babey!

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Answered here but long story short, yes! But hopefully I'll get to them soon hehe I also looked over the 4,000 word pollen wip again after typing my reply to this question and. Yeah. I've definitely gotta finish that one someday my god I forgot how strong the brainworms had got when I started that one ahdgjkahgkd

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Foreshadowing maybe, tho I'm not sure how much I'd say I'm conscious of it rather than.. Because I know where I'm going I try to build up to that. So I guess that would be a yes? Ahsdjhjgkj In terms of symbolism, maybe not as much as I should be? The aforementioned key fic is possibly an exception here because, well. It's literally about the fucking lab key. It's about the symbolism. But generally I'm not conscious about including it - and now this is making me wonder if I do? And if I do, how the fuck and when? Someone please tell me, Jamie please tell me aghdjdahgds

[the-firebird69]

Top 10 Songs Of 1978

Yeah I used to piss him off on purpose cuz he was pissing me off and a little war it's okay though. These signs are awesome I can't think of one song that I wouldn't listen to. He says there might be one but not that many it's true oh wow what a blast from the past and he says they're famous songs because of the happening in the future and people get a copy of them singing it and say excuse me singing it now I don't really recall it but and they write it up and they play it I'll tell you what it happened a lot and Blondie it happens to almost everything she does but it's hard doing it it's a different version you see here and her songs are massively intense and when in New York they do the Mars eating cars and it's intense it's in the future from now and they're talking about people recycling cars and how it's probably the Empire and it's now coming out. A lot of it is that they're seeing you about it goes back it doesn't make any sense and the Empire is throwing it back and they're a little nuts and it's really strange stuff even to us and we are the ones having some of it done but we love these songs they're intense and they we grew up with them and we know them and we can feel power in them and it's expressed it is power and people are amazed when they hear it and they hear what it means and without going into it it has very very deep meaning to us and we are very pleased to hear it and I'm happy my husband had a rotisserie chicken and ate the whole thing while watching Star wars and he is still hungry and it shows he should be eating more but boy what a dream some of these songs are just a dream and it's fun for us because we hear it and we see it and it's real and very real to us there were issuing the orders and we know that those are our orders being followed in a lot of them and we can see it and hear it happening and they have an angle for each and every one of them but my my it's an exciting time and exciting music and the people are here but sing the songs and to them they're just seeing it again and then find out it's a loop and they want to know who and they find you smiling Mac proper and made consider them to be idiots a lot of people do but my husband clarified it and some of them remember they go back in time when they want these people are sending it back and trying to do the job and they end up respecting them but wow what a day today is too this is massive there's a war between the morlock and the warlock it's the pseudo Empire but they are going to disappear and they are the bullies and a higher level bully and they are eliminating themselves and reducing the Mac proper smoke screen and they're stepping out of the way and people our manufacturing things and the Empire has no choice they are simply ridiculous with them and it is going on now it is an intense time for us and for me this bulley Trump is going to be put down and in many ways he is going to lose his life over and over and he is going to lose things to my husband and my self we are going to gain somebody and some beans and it's practically nothing but to us we get to move around and eat well sleep better and it is a little bit of quality of life when it is very very hard to get by out here and boy are they ridiculous. I'm hoping that we give enough feet down that he doesn't have to go to a homeless shelter for Christ's sake what a piece of s*** this guy is a living piece of s***

Right now I'm informed that there are five groups of Mac proper at the Spencer property and that's the actual name no but it's close and they're out there Snoopy around and they've got several different methods that they're going to try and use and one of them was Penny who's Uma Thurman in this case and it was not me playing Penny Lawler either it's close to my character and that's what she was doing. It was Uma thurman. She failed that there are groups of Mac proper they're doing it and they're not small groups

Hera

I heard him earlier say penis and you meant me and now I see why and there's groups they sort of fight each other but they don't and this is a big problem

Joel w

Haha no it's not funny it's our nest egg that was taken from us and we died a violent death and we're back and we can't let someone else have it after this happened to us we simply have to stop him and I'm asking my husband to stop messing around with this kid leave alone you're doing half the job and you want to do none of it and this place you wanted to go is something that we don't control and I'm sick of saying it and I'm tired of hearing about it from other people saying we're wrong and I need him to quit doing what he's doing and right now and I'm very sick of it the kid doesn't care for Taylor Swift for my other characters and I'm starting to get why where these morons yelling at him threatening him and threatening pennies and it never seems to stop and other people are helping him like Uma Thurman and Terry cheesman is trying to get him funding and we're not letting it go through because it's supposedly not us but it's our group and we're complete assholes I admit it it's wrong and keep doing it and a major reason is because of trump he is right up in his face and he's spoiled and I'm going to have to try and stop him myself and they're saying I'm doing it too and yeah I was doing it but I have this place and it's in my mouth the taste of actually living well and really having things like cities and this fool is giving it up just to bother him just like his friend Dave wants you can see it the stupid f***** doesn't get it everybody else does in the dumb a****** can't f****** fathom Dave doing it when he was picking on him and messing around with him just like he's doing to his brother and this guy is beating the s*** out of him with anything that he can grab everybody that comes near me I'm sick of it who the hell wants to live in a homeless shelter in this piece of f****** s*** or even go back to the goddamn neighborhood or nothing happens but we got our asses kicked and it's going to happen to be in and we're getting our asses kicked because we won the stupid election really it's going south and I can't stand it anymore I need Trump to stop doing what he's doing

Sarah

We're going to make that happen she's right she can't stop him and she's stopping herself a little here and there and the turd is not doing any work and he thinks threatening our son will get himself so we are going to attack

Thor Freya

We're attacking right now but we do hear they're helping and we see other people doing it and we're going to have to take him down and get rid of the stock he has somehow

Mac daddy

There's a procedure on removing stock from someone's possession and it has to do with the stock exchange and it is a hostile takeover and there's ways to force it out of them and we're going to do it and other people are vowing to do it right now

Olympus

[lilyandthetulips]

December

It is December and we must be brave - Natalie Diaz

It’s the 1st and brave is easier said than done, so you have to sit in the sun and pull in a breath and hold it there because that’s all you can really do right now (doesn’t it feel so good? That air? I forgot I could do this) And you need to explain, again, to someone else that it didn’t work out and yes it was their loss and yes the right person will come when you least expect it and yes I am so young and hot and everything will be okay. So I write that on a sticky note and tape it on my mirror in the hopes it will stick (ha!) and it does for the times I’m yelling Bikini kill in my car, but not for the times that Bob Dylan comes on shuffle and I remember a certain way their shoulders slumped when they sat on the edge of the bed. 

Summer comes hot and heavy and thick, sliding down my back, the grass feels too warm between my toes, too green, too squishy. Remember spring? Remember how you named it after them? But it’s December Lil, not spring, and you must be brave. Tread lightly in the yard, deathly afraid of Christmas beetles and dog shit bombs, throw a slobbery tennis ball and ask Maple what she’s doing over and over and over even though you know she can’t answer because she’s a dog. Escape to the valley, find comfort at night, let the TV static bug noises hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm let the fence out back give way to the tangled trail between Queensland and New South Wales. Nothing but bush and mountain ranges and tall, stiff grass and snakes and rabbits and kookaburras and yowies and moths that think it’s funny to fly at your face. The dogs tap tap tap behind you as you go to make tea. You stand in the door frame and sigh and sip and yell oi! When someone pipes up behind you. Imagine ducking under the barbed wire with Cella and Maple in tow and running through the dry bushes and making friends with a yowie, tall and hairy and shy, and making feral howling noises and never thinking about spring again. I bet yowies don’t care about Bob Dylan.

I fear my phone that disgusting little brick of cells and wires and fingerprints full of things I don’t want to see or hear, hateful brick! I saw something just now in its evil little face and I don’t want to eat anymore. I should anyway. Can I please have a six-inch white with classic chicken not toasted thanks no cheese thankyou can I please have lettuce spinach carrot and onion just mayo please yeah salt and pepper thanks yes please I will take my free cookie yeah it’s been a busy shift lots of messy cunts leaving clothes in the fitting rooms what about you? Did you know that 37 of Bob Dylan’s songs have a woman’s name in the title?

I am unmoored. Intellectualise the need for attachment all you want but it will still be there, a tiny stone at the bottom of your stomach, rattling around with the lunch you forgot to eat. There is too much nuance in the grief of it to be explained in simple, scientific terms. Anxious attachment, avoidant, secure. It’s more abstract than those. The need to find someone else’s hair on your pillowcase when you strip the bed, the need to sit quietly together and talk about playing crack the egg when you were a kid. I can’t believe there was a time when I didn’t feel like this. But it’s December now! Come on! I will swim in the pool and crochet till my fingers are stiff. I will loop fuzzy yarn around and around and around my hand until the blood is constricted, my fingers red and puffy. I will scan bar codes and have sex and poke dog antibiotics into tiny chunks of beef mince. I miss my Yowie friend when I come back home, down from the mountain. I slam into the back of someone’s Hilux, I sweat on the curb in my crocs as translucent green radiator fluid slowly spreads along the bitumen. I sweat and I cry I apologise I call my dad. My tears are big and fat and I drop them everywhere and I don’t care (I do).

Oh, root rot! All my roots turn brown and slimy and I don’t know why. I pull them off and poke them down the drain. Now all my pothos stems are turning black and all my nails are growing long and I don’t know what to do about anything anymore. I place the pot in the sun on my deck and sit next to it like an old friend, this plant who has grown for years off my shelf, watching me work and squirm in bed, watching me read and pace and play the harmonica and crack open fortune cookies and take the fortunes way too seriously and do anything but write. Steadily pushing out a chain of waxy leaves, splitting the surface of its stems over and over and over. If it could speak it would probably laugh in my face and say something cryptic like One should feel freedom of the mind. And oh! What’s this? This tiny spec! It couldn’t be, could it? It is! Contentedness in the sun, my nose turns up, an earnest face, to the simplicity of the light. Ah, how quickly it can change my thoughts. It’s almost embarrassing.

God, here we are, we’re almost there, the edge of the cliff, hug yourself tightly now. December the 25th. Panic! I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want this body, I don’t want this heart. I don’t want these memories. I can’t just up and leave my bones, my skin, my muscle. I have to be here and play it out, I have to keep going knowing what I do about my past. I’m trying to say that sometimes it’s just too much. I’m trying to say that I have to carry the weight of everything I’ve ever felt, everything that everyone says I’m supposed to feel. Can’t I trade it in? These experiences? I don’t think I want them right now. Can’t I dump this sandbag of feelings slung over my shoulder on the concrete with a huh like the sound of being punched in the stomach? December is a black hole. Tie up your loose ends, throw away the receipts and 7/11 sandwich wrappers catching under your driver’s seat.

December’s language is imprecise grief - Nelly Sachs

“It’s basically medical at this point.” The grief. I say this to Zan in the Falcon. We are talking about the fear, the black hole. Fear of what? We don’t know. We are talking about how everything is going really well but I am still terrified. Terrified of everything that has ever happened and everything that will ever happen, it’s the 31st. An earnest conversation in running water. We are in the valley again, I am crouched at the mouth of a rockpool, water swells my bikini bottoms. I am shivering, I am small, I am humming It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue. Zan says this is their favourite place and I tell them that’s a bold statement for someone so young. I make paint by scraping wet rocks together, something I did when I was a kid. The grass is hot again and the blades are too wild and fat out here in the rainforest. Teens in a car are snickering at us as we grab our towels from the car park, I forget I’m not one of them anymore. When you’re sixteen everything feels like the end of the world. I’ve had so many end-of-the-worlds, I guess I could say the same for 21.

[wellthebardsdead]

Some more demon reaper au on the softer side! ~Bambi

———

(And they were roommates)

———

Jack: *struggling with all his might to lift a recliner he’d bought on marketplace from his truck and into the house* fuck-come-on- you piece- of SH-UGH! *sets it down in the living room* fuck- *slumps over it for a moment before pushing it into position next to the couch where the cold spot often appears* …It’s not the best but, this is yours.

*silence*

Jack: …*sighs and walks off to do chores*

*a few hours later*

Jack: *finished making the guest bed after spending ages fighting a fitted sheet* done. *fluffs up the pillow a little* hey! I know you’re watching me! This is yours!

*silence*

Jack: *grumbles* only ever bother me when it suits you I see…

*a few more hours later*

Jack: *staring in the almost empty fridge seeing only enough for one person staring back at him* …I’m gonna run out of the last of my money if I keep feeding you…

*silence*

Jack: *sighs and starts cooking, almost jumping out of his skin as the radio suddenly starts playing music* JESUS CHRIST!! *turns it off* w-was that you?! G-gabriel was it?!

*silence*

Jack: … *slowly goes back to cooking before immediately burning his hand on the stove as the music starts again* FUCK!!! *turns it off again and quickly shoves his hand in the sink turning on the cold water* STOP DOING THAT!!

*silence*

Jack: *groans rubbing his face in exasperation* if you’re not going to talk to me just please stop it…

*silence*

Jack: *sighs turning off the water and wrapping his hand in a tea towel* quiet as usual… *walks back to the stove and finishes cooking before plating up and looking at the extra seat at the table to see it had been pulled out* … *sets the food down in Gabriel’s spot* you can have it… I’m going to bed… *turns to leave when he hears static from the radio as it switches to a tune from the 1930’s, smooth, calm, but made for dancing* …that’s what you wanted? *turns around to see the food moved, now placed in his spot* …you want me to, eat?… *quietly walks to the table and sits down, almost feeling like there were hands on him guiding him to do it* o-okay… *sheepishly starts eating feeling hidden eyes burning into the back of his head*

*a few moments later*

Jack: *finished eating, sitting there awkwardly waiting for something to happen* … *looks at the radio to see the time and slowly begins to notice, the music had been playing for a while now, the same song over and over and yet, he never noticed it loop* you?… you like this song?…

*silence*

Jack: *sighs* just… trying to make conversation… *gets up and puts his dish in the sink before freezing in place as a shadow looms over him* … *turns around slowly to see him, the demon, gabriel… reaper* h-hi…

Reaper: *standing a good foot or so over him, legs goat like with cloven hooves, ram like horns curling back around a mess of equally curly brown locks, and his face, handsome, warm, alive, nothing like the dirt covered corpse he’d presented himself as a few nights prior* … *slides his hand into jacks good one and the other around his waist pulling him close*

Jack: I-wh what are you doing- ow! *looks down to see his hooves prodding at his feet before inevitably shuffling their way underneath making him stand on them* what are you-

Reaper: *slowly begins to move back and forth with him held tight in his grasp, dancing with him*

Jack: you? You wanna dance with me?

Reaper: *nods*

Jack: oh… y-you could’ve just asked- *sheepishly places his other, now blistered hand on his shoulder*

Reaper: *pauses mid step to look at the appendage* …Ḥ̸̎ú̵̟͚̊r̵͙͒́t̸̡̏͊

Jack: *groans holding his head hearing the demons voice echo in his mind* wh-what? I can’t-

Reaper: Ḥ̸̎ú̵̟͚̊r̵͙͒́t̸̡̏͊

Jack: *beginning to feel dizzy* I- eh-what- hurt?

Reaper: H̴u̷r̴t̵ ̴H̴u̷r̴t̷ ̵H̸u̵r̶t̵ ̵S̵t̶o̵p̴ ̶J̷o̴h̷n̸a̷t̸h̸o̸n̸ ̵H̵e̴l̸p̷ ̷H̸u̶r̴t̷ ̶H̷u̸r̵t̵ ̵H̶e̶l̴p̴ ̷H̵e̴l̴p̶ ̶H̵e̸l̸p̸

Jack: *nose beginning to bleed, trying to let go of the demon only for his hands to feel like they’re stuck to tar, glue, something* help? How can I- help

Reaper: H̴̩̅U̵̗͂R̵̠͝T̵̝͠ ̵͇̂H̴̢̑E̵̟̍L̴̻̑Ṗ̵͉ ̷̪͆S̶̻̎T̶͈͛Ȯ̷̫P̷͙̓ ̵̨̌Ĵ̶̭O̵̜͠H̶̖͐Ǹ̶̲A̷̡͆Ţ̷͠H̴̫͑Ǒ̴͈N̵̫̐ ̵̦̇C̴̠̊Ò̶̳Ḻ̷̀D̵͙̅!̷͑ͅ ̴̤̊C̵̖͒O̵͓͆Ľ̷̨D̸̢͛!̵͍̀ ̵̥̔C̵̖̚O̴̯͝L̵̻͒Ḍ̶̓!̷̻͑

Jack: what-d -did my dad?… do?… *blacks out*

Reaper: F̵͚͆R̶̺̄E̷̟͋E̴̼̔Z̸��̗Ȋ̷̞N̷͍͋G̵̟̒!̷͓̓

Jack: *jolts awake slumped over the recliner after falling asleep on it* …Do you want a heater?! Is that it?!

[eitelle]

💟 ice skating w the hq boys 💟

with hints of: semi eita, akaashi keiji, & kuroo tetsurou (all x gn!reader)

genre: fluff, crack, inexperienced reader for semis and akaashis!! so im sorry if youre actually a god at ice skating 😭

wc: 1245 😧

around this time of year, it was perfect. it was chilly and cold and white, with occasional snow. it was the literal embodiment of winter. hot cocoa in mugs, and the highlight of this holiday season: it was your first with your boyfriend semi eita. he played holiday songs on the guitar and serenaded you when you cane over. but, as much fun as that was, an ice skating rink had just opened up at miyagi towncenter. growing up sort of rurally, you thought that this would be a great time to try something out, so you and semi went. “are you sure this is safe y/n?” your boyfriend asked you. “oh please, stop being a big baby,” you reply back as you two start lacing the rentals you bought. as soon as you stand up and start walking though, you can tell this won’t be as easy and graceful as others made it seem. as you hold onto each others hands you two walked towards the rink. walking slowly up the stairs, you immediately grip the railing to prevent yourself from twisting an ankle. as soon as you get on the ice though, you mentally prepare yourself for bruises because you know that youre gonna fall. semi gets on shortly after you do, the two of you using the wall to support yourselves. “babe, i thought you said this was easy,” semi called out to you. “youve never listened to me before, why would you do it now?” you respond. soon, some kids leave and you two snag their helper sort of ice stand things. as you grab onto them you start to reteach yourself and semi what you had learned (from youtube 😭). as soon as you two get stabilized, your date felt more like a date rather than toddlers slipping on ice every 5 seconds. having fun, and falling occasionally, you and semi tease each other and laugh the whole way through. as the zamboni cleans the ice, you two decide it’s been enough for one day. after returning the skates, semi walks over to you and kisses you on the forehead. “today was fun, i wanna do this next year,” he says with a smile. looping your arm around his waist, you reply with a lovesick smile and heart eyes, “next year?” “next year and so many more.”

— akaashi keiji

it is the most wonderful time of the year. thats what akaashi told you, but of course when he said it, it sounded like a winter snow finally came. aka, pure bliss. you and your family usually went sledding, or skiing, or some other winter activity, but your first holiday season with akaashi was already turning out different. you got your nails done and he surprised you with shortbread cookies first of all, then he made you peppermint hot chocolate, and now he was taking you ice skating in the town center he grew up in. he knew youd never gone before, but he was quite good so he knew it would be okay. as you two finish lacing up your skates, you stand up… and then sit back down again. “whats wrong darling?” akaashi asks concernedly after seeing the whole ordeal. “love nothings wrong, per se its just, how do you walk with these?” you ask facing your very first challenge, and you werent even on the ice yet! as your angel of a boyfriend helps you up to your feet, you use him almost as the elderly rely on canes, as your support system. as akaashi calmly guided you up the stairs and to the edge of the rink, he skates on gracefully. “cmon y/n, just take my hand. don’t be scared, ive got you,” he reassures. “whatever you say,” you respond shakily. as you start wobbling like a baby giraffe, you hear giggles from where he was while you were looking down praying you wouldnt fall. “are you laughing at me right now keiji?” “love i would never, except for this once,” he says before bursting out into laughter, unable to stop it after seeing your knees buckle together as you get stuck. taking your hand to guide you away from the little kids lowkey better than you, you start to laugh as well. after learning the basics and still not being able to skate without him, you call it quits for the day and go to take your skates off. “well, id say that was sucessful, but you need to take me on a second date so i dont forget what i learned today am i right?” you say playfully with a wink to keiji. “i mean, if you so insist,” he responds. “but i had fun today too love, how about next week same time same place?” “as much as i love you, my feet do not. maybe next month.”

— kuroo tetsurou

you could not believe your eyes at your boyfriend, the smart ass rooster head know-it-all, kuroo tetsurou. honestly, you basically suggested this whole plan of going ice skating, and with his reluctant agreement, you wouldve thought you finally found an activity in which you had the upper hand on with your boyfriend. truthfully he did everything above average. not that you would tell him though, his ego is big enough. and you knew you werent awfuk at ice skating, youd done it plenty of times before in the past, however youve never been great at it either. but now, you were standing on the ice frozen. (pun intended) you and tetsu started off skating in sync, albeit not very fast. then, he asked you, “can i leave you behind for a sec? i swear ill be back as quick as ever.” to which you replied, “of course just dont be too slow.” and he was off. he started skating slightly faster at first, not too much but enough that he let go of your entwined hands. and then he started skating faster, and faster, and then he started skating backwards. as he winked at you and did a quick spin, you stood jaw dropped and amazed. as did everyone else in the rink for that matter. as he came back behind you, he made a quick stop creating shaved ice. as he bent down, he scooped some of it up and sprinkled it on top of your head and grasped your hand. “didnt i look so cool baby?” he asked you with a smirk. “not that impressive rooster head,” you tease back, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “but to be super duper impressive to me, how about you teach me a trick or two and tell me how the hell you did that.” “the second part is easy, i took skating lessons when i was a kid and each month i go skating 2 times so i dont lose my touch.” “ah i see, so i think you should answer my other question now.” “which one was that?” “my proposal,” you respond monotoned. “but i dont see a ring on either of our fingers.” “oh shut up.” “alright alright,” he laughs as you two still skate in sync. “i agree ill teach you. but im hungry, lets get dinner?” “ok sure,” you say as you nod and tug on his hand to go towards the exit. “and for the record, if i were to propose that ring would be so noticeable you would be weighed down too much to ever ice skate again rooster head.”

thanks for reading! reblogs, likes, and comments are greatly appreciated :]

[kingsleytealeef]

scarlet welly boots

based off of this post spiral started by @flashhwing in which caleb is groundhog daying the day of essek’s execution

warning/s: angst, injury, results of off screen torture

title from the amazing devil song - welly boots, please forgive any errors, i’m still learning the mechanics of this world

(ao3)

They land hard, the breath forced out of them in a pained sudden whoosh. Caleb clutches Essek to his chest, shielding him and pinning the drow to the ground with his weight as he catches his breath. 

The weak evening sun is almost blinding after the endless night of Rosohna and it takes a moment for him to adjust to the light, however soft it is, after being so used to the darkness. The winter rays and bitter bite of the cold wind are almost heavenly after months of the same terrible day over and over and over. 

Caleb waits a beat. 

And then another. 

No attack is launched, there’s no rush of air being displaced as the Aurora Watch follow them with their own teleportation. Though how they would have he doesn’t know, not even Caleb has any idea where they’ve landed. He’s just grateful it worked. A brief respite against the continuing horror. Nothing truly gained from this loop except he doesn’t have to watch Essek die again.

He tightens his grip around Essek, ignoring the burn of a barely missed flurry of Eldritch Blasts across his back. The skin pulls in a familiar way, taught under the curled edges of his jacket. It’ll be gone with the sunset, as all injuries he’s acquired over the months have faded with the resetting day. He doesn’t let it bother him as he would have done.    

“Caleb?” Essek murmurs into his shoulder tentatively. His fingers shake as they clutch at Caleb’s shoulders tight enough to hurt.

Caleb chokes back a sob at the sound of his voice. He turns his head, nose pressing into Essek’s neck painfully as he squeezes the wizard tight to him. It’s been far too long since he last heard Essek speak. The former shadowhand had always been silent on the dias, never pleading or begging for his life even on the few occasions Caleb had done so for him. He was always so resigned to his punishment, accepting his due with his head bowed and a silent scream as the spell struck him. 

“You’re okay,” Caleb reassures softly, though for Essek’s benefit or his own he couldn’t rightly say. 

Essek turns his head towards Caleb, struggling to put enough distance between them that he can catch Caleb’s eyes but Caleb’s grip is strong and Essek is weakened by weeks locked away before his public execution. 

“You fool!” Essek cries quietly against his skin, voice cracking like shattered glass. “You complete fool, they’ll kill you!”

Caleb chuckles into Essek’s neck, the sound hollow and as brittle as he feels his mind is. Like the thin sheet of ice across a pond, snapping and cracking under the slow pressure of a foot waiting to drag him down in the cold dark water beneath. 

“This is nothing to laugh at,” Essek scolds him.

“I’ve already died,” Caleb mutters, remembering the failed attempts and the few times he stood side by side with Essek upon the raised dais, fingers stretched out towards one another for the briefest touch of comfort.

“What?”

“Several times in fact.” Caleb continues in a matter of fact tone. 

“You’ve gone mad,” Essek rolls his eyes and Caleb shakes his head slowly, savouring the way their noses bump together softly. No doubt Essek is recalling the few times the Mighty Nein have stumbled and fallen in their adventures and not the one memorable time Caleb got tackled out of a window by an Echo Knight trying to save Essek’s life for the umptenth time. 

“I am stuck in some kind of loop, reliving this day over and over,” Caleb sighs and Essek tenses under him. He’s quiet for a long time. 

“What?”

“I have watched you die…” Caleb’s voice fails him and he rests his forehead against Essek’s letting the warmth of his skin and his soft breaths against Caleb’s lips pull him away from the teetering edge of his sanity. 

“Caleb,” Essek whispers, his voice full of concern as his hands slide up Caleb’s neck to cup his face gently. 

“Too many times schatz, too many,” Caleb finishes brokenly and Essek flinches as a tear drops against his cheek. He gently rubs away the tears that follow as his breaths come in shaky controlled bursts. 

“A time loop?”

“Ja.”

He’s quiet again as the implication settles in his academic mind and Caleb waits patiently for him. He has time, he has all the time in the world. He just can’t seem to do what he wants with it. 

“Help me up,” Essek demands quietly and Caleb can’t deny him anything though he doesn’t particalurly wish to lose the closeness. He stumbles to his feet, keeping a tight hold on Essek as they stand shakily in the evening light. The clearing is touched by morning frost that the day’s light hasn’t managed to melt and the mountain range in the distance is vaguely familiar to Caleb but he has no interest in finding out why. He’s more focussed on the man before him. Essek is thinner than he had been before the arrest, his skin a pale sickly lilic instead of it’s usual rich violet. Dark, violent splotches of deep red peek out from under the ill fitting uniform and Caleb shies away from the desire to burn the dungeons and its guards to ash. It would be so easy to seek revenge, so gratifying. 

The lack of consequences has been a temptation he has fought against for a while now, one that has only grown in strength the more times he’s been forced to watch Essek fall. Caleb isn’t sure how much longer he can last. How many more loops before he stops caring about the collateral damage? How many more before he stops being a man his friends can recognise? 

“You didn’t start this?” Caleb checks, though he’s long suspected a third party’s hand in this. 

Essek raises his manacled wrists, the runes etched into the dark silver cuffs catching the fading light, “I couldn’t even if I’d wanted to.”

“Then who?” Caleb groans, letting his forehead rest against Essek’s again. His fingers clench and relax around Essek’s biceps, marvelling at the twitch of the muscles and warmth of his skin through the threadbare prison clothes. Physical proof that Essek lives and breathes in his arms, if only for a moment. 

“An enemy? Someone who wants me to suffer,” Essek suggests.

“And me,” Caleb adds and Essek inhales shakily. 

“Caleb…”

“Yes?” Caleb asks, hopeful. 

For a moment the world pauses, possibility frozen on the edge of a cliff and all they have to do is step away from the solid ground beneath them to reach it. Essek’s mouth opens with intent before he thinks better of it, his fingers clench in a tight fist against Caleb’s chest. Touching but not grasping at him as he so clearly wants to do, “...We should figure out how to break this time loop,” he offers eventually, sounding defeated and frustrated with himself. 

Caleb feels a tendril of disappointment but he remembers that Essek does not have the benefit of time that Caleb has endured. For Essek it’s been a day, for Caleb, he’s had months to develop the courage to face the truth of his own heart. He simply needs time. Time Caleb so depesratly wants to give him. 

“I’ve been trying, nothing has worked.”

“Would my work be of any use?”

“Not even the Aurora Watch can get past your wards, it would take me-”

“The password is nein, speak it clearly and the door to my private study will open,” Essek’s cheeks darken as he avoids Caleb’s eyes. It warms Caleb’s heart that Essek trusts the Nein to protect his life’s work and then his heart cracks a little as he realises how they can’t even protect Essek’s life. 

“Ja, I can do that,” he says, swallowing thickly against the torrent of emotions storming his chest. 

Essek coughs, clearing his throat and the air of the momentairy vulnerability, “If that’s of no use then you’ll need to seek additional allies.” 

“I’ve already told the other’s, how do you think I got close enough to do this, this time?” Caleb smirks sharply, the day may be the same but the chaos his friends unleash every time is completely unique and somewhat enjoyable. 

“I meant experts,” Essek corrects softly with a fond small smile, no doubt recalling the circumstances around his escape. 

“You’re the expert.”

“And yet, I can not recall such a spell,” Essek admits, brow furrowed. 

“You expect others to know when you don’t?”

“It’s possible,” Essek says and he sounds as though he believes it as much as Caleb. 

“And if that fails?” Caleb asks because he can’t watch Essek turn to dust again, he can’t, he just can’t. He needs something, anything to keep him away from the dias.

Even though he knows he’ll go again and again so Essek won’t be alone. Because the thought of Essek standing there waiting for the end and thinking Caleb has forsaken him and convincing himself he deserves it in his final moments, is almost worse than the pain of watching him turn to ash to be caught in the wind. 

“Divine intervention?” Essek snorts and Caleb can’t help but feel a lead weight fall into his gut as even Essek struggles to find more than a couple of vague ideas and a possible dead end. 

“If that’s what it takes,” Caleb whispers and it sounds like a promise. 

“Caleb,” Essek says, like the prayer of a man with no faith in any god, just faith in the man before him. It feels like benediction. It feels like false hope. An empty temple with cold pews. Caleb has failed so many times, so many people, that Essek standing before him feels more like another sacrifice on a blood stained altar than a blessing. 

And yet he continues, hoping for a different outcome each time. 

“Sun’s down, time’s almost up,” Caleb says, feeling the cold settle in his bones again as the shadows grow around them. A silent scream full of dread lodges itself in his throat. 

Not again, not again, not again, please not again… he buries the words deep down and they claw and tear at him as he does. These wounds stay, even as the day resets and he knows eventually he’ll bleed out.

Essek clutches at him tightly, as though Caleb is going anywhere, “If you find a way to break this, do it.”

“I will,” Caleb promises and Essek shakes his head slowly.

“Even if I don’t survive this,” he says gently and Caleb recoils as though he’s been struck. 

“Nein-”

Essek holds fast, grabbing at Caleb’s face, the manacles clinking together like the chimes of a clock, “Yes, yes. I will not have you suffer needlessly for a lost cause.”

“Essek-”

“Promise me Caleb, promise me,” Essek begs and Caleb opens his eyes and stares into Essek’s. He lets him see the fire within, the rage and anguish and most importantly the steel core that will not bend, not even to Essek’s pleading. Caleb would rather lose himself than give up. 

“Nein,” Caleb growls firmly. 

“Caleb-” Essek’s voice catches and Caleb crushes Essek to him, slamming their lips together in a brutal kiss full of desperation and despair. He won’t make that promise. He can’t make that promise. Even if he’s crumbling under the weight of it all, he can not let Essek die. Not when there’s a chance, no matter how slim, that he can save him. Caleb can not and will not bury another person he loves. 

Essek struggles against him for a moment before surrendering with a choked sob, his fingers curling tightly in Caleb’s stained shirt as he kisses him back just as fiercely. Caleb ignores the tears they both shed, they have just a moment together and then…then Caleb has work to do. 

fancy sending me a cuppa?

edit: now with happy ending

[unwantedtomost]

the night before — sebastian stan

sebastian stan x fem!reader

word count: 2,644 words

summary: you were invited to your ex’s wedding and despite all logical reasoning, you decided to go. now it’s the night before the wedding and you’re in the same night club with your ex. time to make some more mistakes.

warnings: angst, crying, cheating, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex.

a/n: i am going to make a part two because i want to explore this more. also, thank you so much for almost 500 notes on my first one shot! enjoy :)

The love of your life was getting married and it wasn’t to you. When you heard the news, you laughed out loud, a bit too loud for being in a quaint cafe. You thought that the girl Sebastian was dating was going to be nothing more than a rebound from you, even when you heard the news that they were engaged, you thought that it wasn’t serious. But now it’s the day before their wedding and you’re pretty sure she’s not a rebound anymore.

You wish you didn’t know what day the wedding was, but you did because you were invited. Sebastian invited you. What kind of asshole would do something like that? You know he saw it as taking the high road, being a bigger person, but it just came off as a pretentious douche bag move to show that he could be happy too. Without you. And how did this get past his fiance, Lauren? Did she want you to come?

You planned on not attending because why the fuck would you want to go? But then your friend, Emerson, talked you into it. “It’s in Hawaii,” “It’ll show him that you can still be friends,” “Rub it in their faces that you don’t care anymore.” They were all very shitty reasonings but you were drunk when you RSVP’d and even drunker when you booked the plane ticket. You had been drinking a lot in the weeks leading up to the wedding, it was the only thing that made all the nerves go away. You promised yourself that you would stop drinking so much after they were married and you intended on keeping that promise.

You had been trying your best to stay as far away from Sebastian as possible in the three-day period leading up to the wedding. It had been working well so far, until tonight. You and Emerson decided to go to a nightclub away from the resort you were staying at because you heard that that’s where the bachelor party was being held. Much to your surprise, that was false information. Now you’re starring at Sebastian from across the room with eyes wide and a jaw down to the floor.

“I thought you said they were gonna be at the resort!” You yelled at Emerson over the loud music.

“That’s what the bridesmaids told me,” she defended. “But it doesn’t even matter, we came out to have a good night. Fuck him! You can be nice tomorrow.”

You quickly started to regret every single one of your decisions you had made in the past three months. Accepting the invitation, booking the plane ticket, and leaving your hotel room tonight. You knew you shouldn’t be here but you were and you hated it.

“This was a mistake. I’m booking a plane ticket and I’m going back home. Tonight.”

“What?! You can’t do that.”

“The hell I can’t.” You grabbed your phone from your purse only to get it grabbed from your hand and shoved into Emerson’s pocket. “What the hell!”

“You’re not just going to leave.”

“Why not?”

“It’s been two years, y/n. You have been telling me that you’re finally over him for a year, that’s why we’re even here, right? Because you’re over him?”

You took in a shaky breath. No, you weren’t over him. You knew you should be, but you weren’t. You thought seeing him say “I do” would force you into moving on, finally letting him go. Now, you wanted to slap yourself for being so stupid.

“Yes,” you lie despite yourself.

“Good, so let’s go get you a drink and a hot piece of ass! And in the morning we’re going to watch as he gets married and you’re going to finally let go of him, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod.

You had to get over him, it had been two years. This was the way to do it. You would force yourself to let him go and be happy. That would make you happy … right?

You and Emerson walked to the bar, ordering shot after shot until you were dizzy. Then you ordered a long island ice tea which you did not need. After you basically chugged the drink, you made your way to the dance floor.

You changed from grinding on Emerson to random individuals and you couldn’t have cared less. Everything about tomorrow and moving on left your mind completely. Right now you were living in the moment, something you were always working to do. You could tell that the individual dancing behind you hadn’t switched for four songs, so you decided to turn around. You were hoping for it to be someone cute and nice. Someone to take you somewhere and fuck the worries away. Instead, it was Sebastian.

Your smile faded and so did his. You went still, your eyes trained on his. It felt weird to be the only people in the crowd not moving. You had lost all sense of anything, you didn’t know if you stood like that for seconds or for hours.

Something in your jumbled thoughts forced you to speak. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he yelled back. His face was unreadable at that moment, you blamed it on the alcohol but you weren’t sure if you could have deciphered what it meant even if you were sober. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah, a few months, I think.” You were sure, it had been four months prior, right before you heard about the engagement. You ran into each other at a red carpet event and you tried your best to act normal.

“Do you … uh—do you want to go get a drink?”

You stood still again, silent. Your brain needed a minute to process the request. You definitely did not need another drink. “Sure.”

You followed behind Sebastian to the bar, a trip you had made with Emerson no less than an hour ago. He ordered himself a Screwdriver and you a Sex on the Beach, your favorite. You had both sucked down half of your drinks before either of you spoke.

“How are you?” He asked.

“Fine, I guess,” you replied. “How are you?”

“Good, good, really good.”

“That’s good.”

It went quiet again and even though the music all around you was blaring, it sounded only like white noise at this point. A thought came into your mind “tell him how you feel.” In a sober state, you would have shut down the thought immediately, but now it played on a loop. The chant continued to play in your head as you finished the last of your drink. You felt the tension in your body rise from your feet to the pit of your stomach, up past your throat, and to your head, making you dizzy.

“Can I tell you something?” You blurted out.

“Sure.”

“It’s loud in here.”

Sebastian chuckled, almost in relief. “Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“No,” you said, too unaware to get how cringe-worthy you were being. “Can we go somewhere, uh, quieter?”

He nodded and you took his hand and went to go find a secluded location. You weren’t going to be that asshole who jammed the bathroom door shut. Also, you were pretty sure you’d get kicked out if you did that. It took a few minutes but you finally landed your sights on a room. The door was unlocked and you realized it was a coat closet, so you picked it as your location. You closed the door before turning back to Sebastian.

The music was quieter in here, it was muffled and far away. It smelled vaguely of cigarettes but you didn’t mind too much, it was dull.

“What did you want to tell me?” Sebastian asked, voice louder than it needed to be due to how unexpectedly quiet it was.

This was it, your one time to speak your mind. You might never get another situation like this ever again. You needed to let it all out.

“I don’t think I’m over you,” you confess. “And I really don’t know if I will ever be. I know it’s been two years and you’re getting married tomorrow, but I’m still not over you. I’ve been telling myself that when I see you at that alter tomorrow, everything is magically going to go away, but I don’t know if it will.”

“Why are you telling me this, y/n?”

“Because this is the one-shot I’m gonna get. You’re getting married tomorrow morning and you need to know this. Well, actually, you probably don’t, but I need to tell you. I need to let it out or otherwise, I think I might actually fucking explode.” You took a deep breath before the words started pouring out again. “When I heard you were engaged I laughed. It was funny that you were getting this poor girl’s hopes up when we all knew that you were just going to call it off. But you never did, and I was the only one laughing. I’m pretty sure that you were my person. And I think the only reason I accepted that we were done was because I didn’t think we were actually done. I thought you were gonna come back to me. I thought one day we would look back on this and laugh because it was so stupid.”

As you talked, your throat began to feel sore, your eyes stung from the tears forcing their way down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry about everything. I should have fought for us when we had the chance and I should give up right now and—”

Sebastian cut you off by cupping your face and wiping the tears away. “Hey, hey, hey,” he cooed softly, pulling you into him. You buried your face in his chest as he softly rubbed the back of your head. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

His sweet tone made you cry harder. You wished he would have been mean. You wish he told you to get over it and move on. But he was sweet and consoling you because that’s the type of guy he was. He was the girl who consoled his ex-girlfriend on the night before his wedding. That’s the kind of guy girls want to marry, that’s the kind of guy you should have married. At least if he was an asshole, it would have easier to move on. No one gets hung up on the asshole, they get hung up over the good guy.

You pulled away from him, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

“Do you still love me?”

“Y/n…” he sighed.

“Tell me you don’t. God, please tell me you don’t. Tell me that you moved on and that you love her. Could you tell me that? Tell me that you never think twice about me and that you only invited me to your wedding because you honestly think we can be just friends. I need you to tell me you still don’t care. If you tell me that, I’ll walk out the door right now and you don’t ever have to see me again. I’ll wish you good luck on your marriage and I’ll be gone. Can you just tell me that? I really need you to tell me that.”

You looked up to him with pleading, puppy dog eyes. You wanted him—you needed him to tell you that it was never going to happen. You needed closure to move on.

“I-I can’t,” he confessed. “Not honestly.”

You let out a breath you were holding before pulling him closer. You kissed him deeply and passionately, you needed him. He pulled you closer, melting into your mouth. This was it, this felt right. You didn’t think about the repercussions, you couldn’t. All you could think about was his mouth on yours, his hands on your skin.

He backed you up so your back was flat against the door. The hand that wasn’t pulling you closer by the hip locked the door. He hoisted you up, seemingly with no effort as you wrapped your legs around his waist. You made haste with his button-up as he started to push your dress up your thighs. You stayed like that for a while, tugging, kissing.

After a while, Sebastian put you down. This made you nervous, was he going to leave you here? Was the kiss just one dumb, hot mistake?

Instead of walking away, he knelt down in front of you. He grabbed your panties and pulled them down your legs. You looked down at him and let out a moan at the sight of him; lips read and raw from kissing, eyes blown out with lust. He hiked your right leg over his shoulder before looking up at you, asking you if you wanted him to continue. You nodded aggressively, letting out a few whines of anticipation.

He dived in, sending you into a state of euphoria. You pressed your head against the door as your hands tugged at his jet black hair. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, trying your best to keep in whatever moans he coaxed out of you. You felt you were nearing your high, but he pulled away before you could get there.

You let out a cry at the loss of contact. You tryed your best to pull him back to you, but he instead pushed your hands away, pinning your wrists against the door. He stood back up, form towering over your own.

“You’re so fuckin’ needy,” Sebastian stated, voice low and raspy. He undid his pants before hosting you up against the door again. He pumped his member before putting the tip at your entrance, teasing you. “Are you sure?”

You nodded, pulling him closer by his shoulders. “Please, fuckin’ need you.”

With that, he pushed in, both of you letting out loud wanton moans. You forgot what is was like to be with him. He was on the bigger end of the men you’d been with and he was by far the best. As he thrusted into you, you started to realize how much you missed him every sense of the word. You missed the way he would kiss you in the morning, you missed the way he said he loved you in the middle of a fight, and you missed the way he grunted in your ear when you would have sex.

You both held each other close as he continued to snap his hips against yours. One of his hands reached down to rub your clit, making you let out another moan. You knew you were close again and you wondered how you could finish so fast when you were with him.

“I’m so close,” you warned.

“I know baby,” he cooed. “Wanna watch you.”

You leaned your head back so you could now see each others faces. He admired how you looked all fucked out and needy. He loved how your eye brows knitted together when you were trying not to cum and he loved the way you bit your lip every time he stared into your eyes. And he loved you.

“I love you, y/n,” he accidentally said, thoughts slipping into words.

Your eyes went wide but you couldn’t help but smile. “Fuck, I love you too, Seb.”

The confession brought you closer to your high and before you knew it, you were clutching his shirt in your hands as your legs cleanched around his waist. You both moaned loudly as you came, holding each other as close as possible. You stayed against the door, holding onto him tightly for a while. Then he slipped out of you and set you back down on shaky legs.

“Did you mean it?” You asked after minutes of staring into his eyes.

He hesitated, “yes.”

“Now what are we gonna do?”

[mayansmcsblog]

Her world or mine

I have no idea when i wrote this but i found it in my drafts half done so i finished it and- yh that's about it😅

This was meant to be based upon the song her world or mine but i got off track so its only loosely based upon it.

word count: 3640

Enjoy!

He hasn't used the truck for weeks, he had no reason to anymore, being in it only brought back memories of you. The long drives, the short drives too. The way you would hold his hand while he was driving or how you would remind him to pay attention to the road when he looked in your direction for too long. All the memories were fresh within his mind- almost as if it was yesterday. 

Even now, he was only sitting in it, he had to do the beer run and obviously that couldn't be done on a bike, he had to take the truck, but all he could think about was how you used to sit in the passenger seat beside him. He could see it in his mind so vividly, if he didn’t know you had moved on he would swear you were sitting with him. 

Looking at the dash his gaze caught the Polaroid photo that was still in its place next to the radio. Your face accompanied a smile whilst his had his usual ‘tough’ man expression, but if you looked close enough, you would be able to see a small smile placed upon his lips. You took it at one of the infamous Mayans parties, he remembered how it took you around 10 minutes to ‘convince’ him to take it, he wanted to take it from the moment you suggested it but he wondered how far you would go to get him to do it

-

“Please” you had been begging him for the last 5 minutes in attempt to get him to take a photo with you but to no avail

“No” you two were sitting on the bench outside the clubhouse, people surrounding the both of you, everyone was involved on their own conversations so neither of you paid any mind to them. Of course he was still aware of his surroundings but was more relaxed than usual

“But come on” you begged

“No y/n” he kept his face as straight as he could but you could slowly see a shadow of a smirk forming upon his lips

“Why?”

“No face no case” he shrugged with a slight smirk on his face, clearly that was a lie. Not even 20 minus prior you had taken a photo of all of the club members standing outside of the clubhouse per bishop’s request so he could frame it and hang it somewhere within the clubhouse to show off the members.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are you so adamant? “He questioned

“Because” 

“Because what?” standing up he motioned for you to do so as well,

“Just because”

“Come on follow me”

Standing up you took this hand as led you away from the party,

“Where are we going?”

“To take this god damn photo”

-

Recalling that night he felt a pain inevitably run across his chest, sure you two were only friends when it was taken but that night was the foundation for building the relationship you two once shared. 

Why had he been so stupid to let you go?

He knew he would have to drive past your place to get to the brewery, it was inevitable really. There was no other way unless he was going to drive an extra 30 minutes, which he didn't have time for.

when he reached the turn in to your street he slowed down a little, looking at your house from a distance he could see a car he didn’t recognize in the driveway. As he got closer he could see two people on the porch, he immediately recognized you accompanied by some guy. 

Of course you had someone else.

-----

Sitting on the couch you couldn't help but let your mind drift back to him, you missed his smile, you missed the way he would have a running commentary while watching anything on the TV, you missed how he would hold you after a long day, you missed everything about him.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren't you?” 

You did nothing but hum in response

Your brother had elected to stay with you for a few weeks while he was on a business trip for some type of expansion for the company he worked for. Originally it was a good idea, it kept you mind off Ez, but the more time your brother was here, the more he talked about his wife back home and how he couldn't wait to get back to her just made you think about how you don't have someone in your life to look forward to anymore, you no longer had someone you could tell everything to, someone who would stay by your side, someone you knew would be waiting for you when you were away from home. As much as you loved your brother, you were thankful he was leaving tomorrow

“Im gonna go get a drink” standing up you heard your brother mumble something in response but you elected ignored him and heading to the kitchen.

As you approached the fridge you spotted the picture of you and Ezekiel stuck on the door. You were pretty sure it was Coco who had taken when him, you, Ez and Angel went over the border for a day because none of you had anything to do and for some reason Mexico was the first thing that was suggested. You had been meaning to get rid of it but couldn't bring yourself to. Alot of memories were collected between the four of you, some of them you were just not ready to let go of yet.

By now he was probably already in another relationship so why were you still holding on?

Grabbing a bottle of water you headed outside and sat on the porch steps. You knew there was a party at the clubhouse tonight, Angel had invited you to come, but you knew Ez would be there. 

Did you really want to see a girl all over him while you're still here alone? Because that would definitely happen

Maybe he wouldn't be there? Or maybe he would be too busy doing stuff to even realize you were there 

You were too wrapped up in your own mind to even realize your brother had stepped outside till you heard a creak from the wood behind you 

“Y/n?”

“Yeah” 

“you okay?" He asked sitting beside you

 “yep"

You two sat in silence for a few moments before he started talking once again

“I love you ye? Don’t let that boy ruin you. He lost you by his own fault. You did nothing” he rambled on about how you should have been treated better and how Ez lost the best thing he could ever have. But you knew he was wrong.

Ezekiel always treated you like a queen, your brother met him one time and barely spoke to him for longer than five minutes. As far as you were concerned you brother didn't know anything about him

While he was rambling you were looking into the distance, mainly just looking at the sky but you could have sworn you saw his truck drive past, but maybe you were just seeing things right? His truck wasn't the only one, there were probably millions of them.

-

The party was in full swing, people were everywhere, the room full of patches from all over. mass amounts of people from charters were visiting in celebration of a new deal with the sons, leaving Ez to tend the bar along with some hang rounds.

Wiping down the bar he couldn't help but think about you for the billionth time today. He knew you two broke things off but it didn't mean you had to leave everyone from the club behind as well as him.

"Bro what the hell is wrong with you?" Angel questioned

"Nothing" shrugging his shoulders he dropped the bar rag and turned to get angel a beer from the fridge behind him

"Stop lyin man, what's going on in that head?" Angel knew his own brother better then to believe 'nothing' was going on with him, something was always going on up in Ez's brain, even if he didn't admit it

"I dunno man, I just think it's weird how y/n left us you know?" Ez shrugged again, handing angel a beer

"She didn't leave us. She’s distancing herself. Got a lot of family shit going on right now" he explained, you kept Angel in the loop with everything, after all he was your best friend even before Ez and you got together, if Ez wouldn't tell you something- Angel would.

"Just think it’s weird" Ez repeated, messing with the bar rag once again

"Ya well she’s coming tonight”

Before Ez could respond coco stood next to Angel 

"Who’s comin?"

The brothers looked at each other for a moment before angel came up with an idea 

"Just some random bird for our boy scout to bed"

"My man," Coco chuckled "finally gonna get your dick wet huh?"

----

You knew this was a bad idea, you knew he would be here. 

Was he going to be with another girl? Actually stupid question, of course he would be

Opening your phone you sent angel a text

‘I'm like five minutes out but i swear to God if you abandon me tonight i will hit you so hard that you can't remember anything for a week’

At least he would walk in with you so you weren’t alone right?

---

Angel stood up abruptly in the middle of a conversation he was having

"Where the fuck you going?" Coco questioned, lighting a cigarette from the chair he was sitting in

"Meet a friend"

"A friend huh?"

"Yeah...maybe you'll like her" Angel replied before grabbing his beer and retreating towards the door.

---

Walking through the gate you saw the front of the club littered with patches. Some of them were from different charters. Weird, angel never mentioned other charters visiting, by the look of the outside, you could only imagine the clubhouse itself is packed with people.

Scanning the crowd you spotted the person in question walking towards you

“Hey stupid face”

“good evening stupid head”

“that's basically the same thing i just said” 

"oh shut up i couldn't think of insult fast enough”

Pulling you into a hug you couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed. Angel was always like an older brother to you, an annoying one at that but still a brother.

It had been weeks since you saw him, being back in his company made you feel safe again, almost like a sense of home

He placed a kiss on your temple “We missed you here”

“Yeah, I know” letting him go you looked around, mainly to see if any of the other guys were in sight but also to see if coco was around, expecting to be attacked as per usual. 

Angel took notice of you scanning the crowd “He's inside”

“Hmm? Sorry I got no idea what you're on about”

Pulling you into his side he wrapped an arm around your shoulders “sure ya don't”

Walking inside you scanned the crowd once again, thankfully coco was nowhere to be seen for the moment and most of the guys were spread out around the room. Bishop and Taza were playing pool, Gilly and Creeper were sitting at the table in a conversation whilst hank sat opposite them looking at something on his phone, Ez was tending the bar like usual but this time he was accompanied by some hang rounds.

At least there isn't girls hanging off him yet 

“C'mon let’s get a drink huh” angel lightly shoved you towards the bar playfully.

“No”

“No?” his eyebrows raised playfully

“No and if you try to make me go over there with you i promise i will embarrass you” you laughed 

“Fine”

After he got the drinks you both sat at a table in the corner for a while talking, the majority of the topics were about what had been happening while you were distanced from everyone.

Eventually Coco spotted you two and joined in the conversation. you sat talking to the two of them while everyone else was up to their own things, you didn't mind, the both of them combined made for some very interesting storys, the conversation could never die. After around 10 minutes, Angel had left you two alone saying he “wasn't bout to listen to this shit ''- which was super ironic considering the topic of conversation was about modifications for a new bike coco had brought a few days ago

“How does your bike handle anyway? I heard they are bottom heavy and hard to manoeuvre sometimes” you questioned. overtime Ez had taught you some things about bikes, mainly when he was just rambling about random things not thinking you were really paying attention to what he was saying

“It’s alright i guess, sometimes it slips when I lean too far on corners, other times it tends to not wanna go the way I need to but other than that it handles pretty well, arms hurt like a bitch after long ride though” he explained

Nodding your head you understood where he was coming from, having your arms at that angle for hours must have taken its toll

“Ay '' he nodded his head towards someone behind you, Turning your head you saw it was Ez walking through the door with Angel, seemingly engrossed in some type of conversation they were having.

Despite spotting him earlier you only scanned over his appearance but now you actually took a good look at him, he looked different, not much but still different from before. His hair was in the same style but it little more grown out then usual, his facial hair had grown out a little too. His eyes had bangs underneath them and his face looked drained.

All in all he looked like shit.

“You know he’s not the same without you right?” bringing your attention back to coco you couldn't help but feel like you were to blame, maybe if you fought harder of him you two would have never split.

“You two spoke since?” he questioned

“Nope...I got a few drunk calls saying he was sorry but other than that. No” you shook your head. 

After you two first broke up he called you around a week later rambling about something but since he was slurring his words- you could barely understand anything he was saying. You got about 2 voicemails of him saying he was sorry and how he fucked up but- you never spoke to him, never texted him back when he would ask you if you were coming to one of the parties.

“The amount of times we've had to stop him from drunk calling you is unreal”

Playing with the label on the beer bottle in front of you, you thought about what coco said- clearly Ez had attempted to talk to you at some point, but why? The whole breakup was because he needed “space” to deal with some things so why was he trying to talk to you?

“He wanted space, I gave it to him” you shrugged, slowly peeling off the label

“Didn’t mean you had to leave us too” looking up from the bottle you saw coco was now avoiding your gaze

“Yeah...I know” maybe it was wrong of you to drop everyone, but being around them would have only brought back memories of you and Ez. At the time it seemed like a good idea to distance yourself from all of the guys, but now, despite only being here for a hour, you could tell how much you really missed being around them.

“You know he’s walking over here right?” Dropping your head onto the table you let out a sigh causing coco to laugh “I’ll leave you two alone huh?” lifting your head up you looked at him with a facial expression as if to say ‘don’t leave me’ but he did anyway

“Y/n” his voice was low, almost as if he didn’t believe he was saying your name again

“Ezekiel”

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking” sitting up straight you turned in your seat to look at him. He looked even worse up close- the bags under his eyes were alot darker then they seemed from a distance, they made it appear like he hadn’t slept for days, you couldn’t help but notice he had a bruise slowly forming on top of his right eyebrow.

“What happened there?”

He looked confused for a moment till you pointed to his eyebrow

“Oh I erm…got into a fight.....with a wall” his eyes were trained onto the floor, almost like he was ashamed.

You hummed in response not sure how to respond without laughing 

“So how have you been?” he questions

“Good i guess..how about you?”

“Alright I suppose”

What followed was nothing but silence between the both of you, neither of you knowing what to say. The sounds of other people talking and rock music became almost deafening as the two of you stayed silent

“Well this got really awkward fast” you spoke up causing Ez to laugh a little

“Yeah..yeah it did” he nodded

After a few more moments you stood from your chair “I'm just gonna-”

“Yeah go, i get it go ahead” he finished your sentence for you.

Nodding you quickly made your way outside, the yard was almost empty by now, people had either left for the night or had moved inside.

You spotted Angel sitting on the front steps fiddling with one of the rings on his hand while looking at something in the distance. You sat beside him in silence, neither of you even attempting to make conversation but simply just being trapped within your own minds.

When you and Ez broke up you knew things would change, you knew the two of you probably wouldn't be able to have the same conversations you would before, but you never expected them being so awkward.

Maybe it was just because the wound was still pretty fresh, after all it had only been just over a month

After a few minutes you heard the door behind you open as someone stepped out, seconds later a figure sat next to you, looking over you saw it was coco

“What we doin? havin a lil moment to yourselves” he asked lighting up a cigarette and offering the both of you one

“Yep” Angel responded, taking one and lighting it before looking somewhere in the distance once again. All three of you sat for a few minutes just looking at seemingly nothing in particular.

Maybe it won't be like this forever? At some point there has got to be a time where you can come to the club without feeling awkward because ez’s here.

You heard the clubhouse door open once more behind you and once again, you didn't turn around, but coco did

"Ay man sit" you heard him say as he snapped his fingers at space left beside him to whoever stepped out from the door. It didn't take long for whoever it was to sit down.

Much like he did with you and Angel, Coco offered the person a cigarette which they must of silently declined from the lack of verbal exchange.

There has to be a point when you and the club can all hang out together like before....there has to be a stage where you and Ez can talk like normal people without it being awkward….right?

Seemingly out of no were Coco spoke up, nodding his head towards two stacked benches on the opposite side of the yard "You think i could clear those in one attempt?"

Angel was the first to respond "Absolutely fucking not" he paused for a moment- looking where the benches were stacked "but I'd love to see you try"

"I bet $50 you fail and fall face first" someone spoke up, looking to your left you finally realized who stepped out earlier ..Ezekiel

"Bet, ill prove you wrong" coco stood, taking off his kutte and placing it on the stair rail "you two wanna place any bets?" Coco looked at you and Angel

"Nope, I'm good" you shook your head

"I bet $50 that you don't clear it" Angel responded

"You have no faith pretty boy" coco responded, shaking his head  as he started to walk over to the benches

"This is going to end in a hospital trip" you stated making both Angel and Ez laugh

All three of you watched as coco seemed to examine the height of the two benches, planning the distance he would have to run to gain enough speed to propel himself over them and how he would land the jump

"You think he's gonna snap his nose again?" Ezekiel questioned

"Definitely" both you and Angel replied

All three of you watched as coco began to run towards the benches, from your angle it looked as if he could clear it....you were wrong. 

Seconds later coco was laying face first in the dirt, one leg was on the floor while the other was stuck in a piece of wood on the bench that had broke underneath his weight

"I think i broke my nose" you heard coco exclaimed causing all three of you to laugh. The few people who were still outside drew their attention to the scene and started laughing too when they realized what happened.

"Ill go get some paper towels" you said, still laughing.

Maybe this was a sign nothing had changed between the four of you, that you could all still hang out and do stupid stuff like before

Maybe nothing has to change

-------------

An| hope you enjoyed this fic. Honestly have no idea why or when i started writing this but 🤷🏼‍♀️ . *sorry for any spelling or grammar errors or any parts that don't make sense. only scanned it before posting it*

ALSO- i swear part two to the prank war is coming! Its just talking awhile for me to find a way to describe to things going on as well as being busy with other stuff.

[xoxo-teddybear]

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, slightest fluff, cursing, physical harm mentions, lowkey little yandere obsessive hints, smut, 18+, daddy kink, sad boi Bakugou    :(

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Summary: Bakugou’s been going through hell ever since the breakup. He’s been so lost without you. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win back his Teddy bear. Everything and anything for the love of his life.

*Everyone is of age for legal consent (which is 16 in Japan, if you are uncomfortable with it please move along, thx<3)*

A/N: Bakugou is a little OOC but the main thing in the beginning starts with fixing up Katsuki a little bit. So sorry if you don’t really enjoy it all that much<3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Melancholy music bounces off the walls of the dark room. The river of tears that flow down his once perfect porcelain skin is everlasting. As he lays in the soft bed, staring at the ceiling, he thinks about all he could’ve done better for you. In his hand, the same framed picture of you both that he’s held onto every night ever since the horrible incident. Y/N L/N. Like a song that’s stuck on loop. It’s the only thing that runs through his mind.

The door swiftly opens, and much to his disliking, a massive amount of light now enters the former den of manliness pit of depression.

To show his displeasure, Bakugou rolled himself in the blankets, covering his entire body in them and being the picture inside with him as well. With different circumstances, Y/N would’ve thought it was cute or adorable, but it wasn’t Y/N that opened the door.

“Really Bakubro?” The blonde’s best friend spoke.

Eijirou Kirishima. The best friend of our dearest sad boy. He’s been letting his Bakubro crash in his dorm room because Katsuki refuses to clean his own. It looks exactly the same as it did on Valentine’s Day. Just a little different.

Rose petals were dead and dried up on his floors, candles were nearly melted to the bottom as they lay everywhere in the room, the curry was thankfully thrown out by Kirishima claiming that he could smell the spoiled aroma all the way from his room. But the presents, letter, and new gear stayed in the exact same spots. Bakugou didn’t feel worthy enough to be blessed with all the stuff but he was oh so desperate to be worthy. Worthy of your time, your love, and you in general.

Bakugou let out a grumbled whine of displeasure. He could feel the disappointment and concern radiating off his friend. As Katsuki poked just his face out of the covers, he was met with the expression that represented those two things.

“You can’t keep living like this bro,” Kirishima began, “You can’t keep hallowing in sadness in my room. I wanna help you, but you gotta help yourself too. Ever since you and Y/N split-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted.

“We didn’t split, she left me!” The blonde cried.

“...Right, okay. Well ever since Y/N left you, you’re not the same. You stay in here, playing the same damn sad tunes, covering yourself in my blankets, crying all day, and holding onto that picture! You haven’t even been to class or training! Shit man, you don’t even come out of my room to eat food! I gotta bring your plate here just to make sure that you’re properly fed. You’re a mess Bakugou. And not even the hot kind!” His best friend was right. He was a mess. And not even the hot kind.

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do shitty hair?” Bakugou said while dragging the covers over his face once more. Inside the blanket he held onto the picture as if it were actually you.

The fake red head snatched the covers off of his friend’s body and forced him up.

The said friend didn’t take too kindly to that and growled in displeasure.

“What the fuck Kirishima,” Bakugou said, a little to calm and chilling.

“Dont give me that bull Katsuki. You gotta get her back. I would say move on, but it’s clear you can’t.” Kirishima said while rolling his eyes.

Bakugou mirrored the action and said “yea no shit genius. I can’t and won’t move on.”

“So then go get her man!” Kirishima yelled

“And how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Huh?!” Bakugou was so confused. In what way was it going to be possible to win you back?

“Figure it out! Look Bakugou, I’ll be here to help you along the way, but you gotta figure this shit out on your own. This is your relationship here, if you want it as bad as you claim you do then prove it. You want Y/N back? Then fight for her, idiot!” The blonde’s eyes seemed to go wide.

Two words stuck out to Katsuki during his friend’s little speech. Prove it. Fuck yeah he will! He’ll prove to the whole damn universe how much he wants you back. More importantly, he’ll prove it to you and win you back.

The iconic Bakugou smirk reappeared on Katsuki’s face. Kirishima took it as a good sign. “Alright shitty hair, you want me to prove how badly I want Y/N back. FINE!” The two friends pulled the iconic bro hug to seal the deal.

(You know? That shit that guys do where they high five and pull each other in with that one hand for the quickest hug and pat each other on the back? You know what I’m talking about.)

“Welcome back Katsuki.” Kirishima gladly stated. “Now get the fuck out of my room man, I’m sick of sleeping on the common room couches and you reek. Take a shower. And get your own clothes from your own room.”

As Kirishima pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door, it hit Bakugou like a bus. This would be Katsuki’s first challenge. Going back into the room filled with the torn love.

As Katsuki opened the door holding onto the picture, he felt his heart sink. He saw the damage. Melted candles, dried petals, the gifts and letter. Even the nasty smell of the spoiled curry still remained. As Katsuki gathered the courage to walk in and place the picture on the messy nightstand, it’s like the room was holding onto some sad emotions. Heartache and regret filled Katsuki’s chest. He couldn’t believe how fast it happened. He thought he would at least have a minute or two before he felt the pain again. Man, did it hurt like hell.

Katsuki dashed to his closet grabbing the first things he saw. He grabbed his shower container that held all his soaps and cleaning utensils and ran out the room, shutting the door. Once out, he let out a breath of relief.

“...after I clean myself up, the room’s next.” Katsuki said with determination as he walked towards the boy’s community showers and bath house.

When the hot water hit his skin, he felt a sense of calm. It wasn’t the same as the warmth of Kirishima’s blankets. It was better. The water and hot steam completely engulfed him in relaxation. The water washed away not only the dirt and grime, but also some of the tense feelings. For a moment, he felt at ease.

As Katsuki walked out the bathing area now fully clothed and dried, he made his way back to his room. He stood there, staring at the knob until he felt he was ready. Once he opened the door, the emotions hit him once again. Like a wave of sadness washed over his entire body. Finally, he stepped in.

First things first. Open up these windows. Let out that disgusting air filled with spoiled curry and sad emotions. When Katsuki took a breath a fresh air, he felt so alive. Much better than he has in days.

Now, we gotta move stuff. Katsuki picked up his dirty laundry and put it in his closet to wash later. He moved all his presents up off the floor and onto the bed. He swepted all the dead petals and toss them in his trash can. He threw out all the ruined candles and sprayed the room with air fresheners. He fixed up his bed and placed the picture frame back on his now cleaned nightstand. Next to it, a lit candle that smelled of caramel.

Katsuki took a seat at his desk. He was back to thinking about Y/N and all that he could do to win her back. As he checked his clock, he realized just how late it was. Kirishima came back to him at the end of class and training which was around 6. He spent an hour talking to Katsuki, and then Katsuki spent 4 hours cleaning himself and his room. It was 11:00 now. Way past his usual bed time. He’ll figure things out in the morning.

Katsuki smiled to himself as he layed in his own bed. He was finally on the right track again and one step closer to getting his teddy bear back. He turned to the picture frame, and grabbed onto it, hugging it while he slept. Katsuki was getting better but he wasn’t whole again. He needed Y/N to help him sleep alright, so holding the picture at night will have to do. He couldn’t wait till he woke up in the morning. Tomorrow he had school, he’ll get to see Y/N’s beautiful face for the first time in awhile, but before that, you bet your ass he’s waking up extra early to come up with a plan.

——————————————————————————

The next morning

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

The blonde smacked his alarm button before he rose up and stretched his body. Today was the day. He’s gets to see Y/N again. Bakugou just sits in place staring at nothing. Just taking 2 minutes to regain full consciousness. Once he’s set, he’s up and getting ready. It’s 4 in the morning now, so he begins to strategize.

Katsuki is pulling out easels and white boards. Pulling out notebooks and writing down facts. What Y/N is interested in, her favorite hobbies and foods, where she likes to spend her time, what she could need help with that Bakugou could assist her with. He’s also writing down the highlights of their relationship and what she seemed to enjoy best about him. He’ll be keeping that as a reference for when he needs to reassess on how he should treat her better. He will do better this time. That’s a promise to himself and you.

After half an hour of slightly struggling, he reaches out for help. Now at 4:30 a.m, here was the blonde knocking at his best friend’s door.

Rock music is blasting, sweat is flying everywhere and punches are being thrown at a hero. Not just any hero, Crimson Riot! As Kirishima continues to spar with his idol, he’s interrupted by a banging sound.

*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*

“The hell?” The younger red head says. Soon his idol began to fade away.

“Crimson Riot! Hey are you okay sir?!” But it was too late, the man was gone. Now the whole room was waving around. Did Kirishima accidentally mistake his giant jug of water for vodka or something? Soon he was left in nothing but a black abyss. And then....he fell!

“Shitty hair.....Ei....KIRISHIMA!”

“AH!” The red head screamed as he shot up from the bed, head-butting his best friend right then and there. Great, a perfect dream. Ruined.

“Ah, shit!” Bakugou said in pain as he held his now throbbing forehead. “What the fuck?”

“That’s my line Bakugou,” the red head sighed, “Did you break into my room? Jeez man, what the fuck? What are you doing here at.....4:38 a.m?!?!? DUDE!”

“I know, my bad okay? But..I could use some help.” Bakugou whispered the last part so Kirishima had no idea what this man just said.

“What bro?” Kirishima asked.

“I said....I could use some help.” The blonde repeated.

“C’mon man, you’re gonna have to speak u-“

“I need your help, alright?!” Bakugou finally said. Kirishima sighed. His bro really couldn’t wait until later?

“Bakugou, you know I’m always down to help you out but this is too early man. Can we just-“ the blonde quickly added on to what he was previously saying.

“Please.”

Kirishima’s eyes shot open after he closed them to drift off back to sleep. Did the Katsuki Bakugou just ask for help by saying please? This must be extremely important.

“......alright. You got me, I’m up. But if I’m gonna be up at 4 in the morning, others are gonna be helping us too.” Kirishima bargained.

“But-“ Kirishima cut him off

“But nothing. Besides, I’m drowsy in the morning so I wouldn’t really focus all that well. And we’re just going to the people we can trust.” The red head explained.

“Fine.” The blonde gave in. So there they went, gathering the other members of the Bakusquad (minus Y/N) to help Bakugou win back his girl.

As the 4 sleepy heads sat down on Bakugou’s floor infront of the whiteboard he wrote on, The blonde began to explain some of his plans.

“So I was thinking of treating her real nice all day until she takes me back and we become friends again, eventually leading to our relationship, but then I realized she’d be into a fake me and we all know I can’t pull the nice guy act forever. Then I thought I’d spoil her with all of the things she desires, but money can’t buy you love. So I thought I could-“ Katsuki quickly noticed the long period of silence other than his voice.

There, were his 4 friends sleeping in a dog pile in the middle of his dorm room floor, completely ignoring everything he’s been saying.

Bakugou sighed and grabbed a small “heroes weekly” issue sitting on his desk, rolled it up, and wacked his friends in their heads.

“You idiots...WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Ahh, welcome back Gremlin Bakugou.

As his friends came back from the dead, they all complained.

“Aww c’mon Bakugou. We’ve been at this for an hour already, it’s 5:40.” Sero said while yawning.

“I don’t care. You idiots offered to help so here you are.” Bakugou said while turning to face the board again.

“We didn’t offer shit!” The bakusquad simultaneously replied.

Mina let out a groan while rubbing her eyes open, “Look Bakugou. We really want you and Y/N to be happy together, we really do, but maybe it’s for the best if you guys don-“ Mina was cut off by Denki slapping his hand over her mouth.

As she looked at her electric friend, she saw a nervous expression on his face. She followed his gaze and saw the back of an angry and almost insane looking and shaking Bakugou.

Hearing Mina say that he should let Y/N go triggered something in his brain. But hearing her say they wanted the couple back together enlightened him too. His mind got the two mixed up.

‘Everyone wants us back together. Not just me. So...then we are back together. Yeah. Y/N is still mine’ the now insane blonde thought to himself.

“....Ok well, time to go, get some sleep, see you idiots in the morning!” Bakugou said while pushing the group out of his room. Once they made it over the threshold, he slammed the door.

With an insane plan in mind, Bakugou checked the time and saw he could take at least a good hour long nap before he had to get ready to leave for school. And that’s exactly what he did. So he jumped into the covers, grabbing onto the picture and drifted off into sleep.

——————————————————————————

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

Bakugou’s alarm rang once more, and again, he slammed it shut. He stretched, got up outta bed and changed into his uniform. That power nap really well rested him, but it also must’ve fucked up his brain even more.

‘And now it’s time to go see my beautiful girlfriend,’ he thought to himself.

After Mina’s comments last night, it hit Bakugou with a great realization. Everyone wanted him and Y/N back together. Not just him. So why not give everybody what they want? Sure maybe Y/N might not completely want it but she’ll learn how to love Bakugou again. Everyone’s happy. And so, Bakugou was convinced that him and Y/N were back together.

At breakfast, Bakugou ran down to already see the Squad up and eating.

“Why the hell do you losers look like death?” He asked while grabbing a cup for his orange juice.

“Well we were all trying to sleep, but after what happened this morning, we couldn’t.” Mina explained.

“What happened this morning? There was nothing big except you guys helping me out.” Kirishima really couldn’t believe it. Had his dear friend not even notice his weird ass trigger moment earlier?

“Alright whatever. Anyway, wheres Y/N?” Bakugou asked after he finished his cup.

“Oh, she just left. She had an early breakfast and went for a quick walk.” Mina said.

“You planning on talking to her today Kacchan?” Denki questioned him.

“You damn Spark Plug, of course I’m gonna talk to my girlfriend today. Fucking idiot.” He said as he grabbed his bag and walked out the kitchen.

“.........Huh?” The entire squad was left in confusion.

‘Had they gotten back together this morning? Did she really accept him back that fast? What the fuck is going on?’ They all thought.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?” Kaminari cried out as he pulled at and scruffled his hair in confusion.

Ah Denki. Always saying what everyone is thinking but the only one ballsy enough to idiotically say it aloud.

——————————————————————————

As she walked to class, Y/N hummed a little song to herself. She enjoyed her walk as it helped clear her mind from all the recent events. Her breakup with Bakugou really took a toll on her. They were together for almost 2 years (EVER SINCE JUNIOR HIGH) so of course the split hit her hard. He accused her of cheating and burned her. So much for trust, right? Not only that, but the burn left a tiny scar. Usually, due to you having a regeneration ability as part of your quirk, Phoenix, the scar should’ve healed up. Maybe the emotional damage caused it to permanently mark itself in you. Oh well, whats done is done. And now it’s time for class.

When you walked though the door, you were expecting a normal day. Ever since the split, you usually got their a lot earlier before anyone else so you could sit, do a little reading, sketch out a little drawing, or just rest your eyes until the bell rang. Except this time, when you opened the door, someone jumped on you for a hug.

“Babe! There you are you little dumbass. Jeez, I was looking for you everywhere.” Bakugou said as he let go of the hug. “I’ve missed you, haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“Uhm, you said babe??” You spoke with a confused and shocked voice.

“Yeah, I called you babe? So what? We always call each other that. You are my girlfriend after all.” He said so casually as he walked to his seat.

THISMANSAIDWHAATTT

“Uh, Bakugou-“

“Katsuki.” He deadpanned.

“Bakugou, we broke up.” You stated while walking up to him.

“Mm...no we didn’t.” He once again so casually said.

“Wha- I- we- you-....HUH?!” You stuttered out.

“Y/N-“

“L/N!” You corrected.

“Y/N. We didn’t break up you dummy, we only had a little set back and that’s fine. All couples do. But thankfully you forgave me and we’ve moved past it,” he began as he pulled you into his lap, “besides, everyone wants us back together including us so why not make it easier for everyone.”

You began stuttering out none sense right there on his lap. You were in such shock and utter disbelief that he said all that bullshit. Well maybe he was right about one thing. Everyone did want you guys back together, including you both, but that’s besides the point! Y’all broke up! He needs to accept it.

“Baku- no- I- we-“ and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

And for some reason, you didn’t push him away. Granted you didn’t accept it either, but you slowly melted into it. The kiss was passionate and slow. It wasn’t sloppy, it was very controlled, but it was just a lotta lip and tongue. The whole thing sent butterflies to your heart and stomach. Oh how you missed moments like these with Katsuki.

He readjusted you on his lap so that you were now straddling him. His hands travelled down to your ass as he gave it a nice squeeze, one that made you moan into the kiss. Your arms went straight to his neck to pull him in for more and he took it as an invitation to start. The kiss began to get a little rougher. More tongue and teeth, both of you extremely desperate for the touch from one another. With your cunt pressed onto his crotch, he slowly thrusted up into you as you grinded down slowly on him. You both started breathing heavier and letting out little whimpers of ecstasy. He could probably feel your now soaked panties. One hand left your ass and came around to the front. He pressed on your soaked pussy through your damp underwear and it caused shutters to go through your entire body.

You began pressing down into his hand, desperate for more friction and Bakugou noticed. He moved your panties to the side and slipped in one finger. This was rewarded with a louder moan that caused Katsuki to smile into the kiss. He knew you and your body so well. He was determined to treat you right and get you to fall for him one more time. As his finger felt around your velvet walls, he slipped in another one, receiving an even louder cry of pleasure. You broke off from the kiss to throw your head back. Katsuki saw this as an opportunity to attack your neck. To mark you up and let everyone know you still belonged to him.

“K-Katsuki. Don’t...don’t stop,” you panted.

“I won’t princess, I’ll take care of you.” He smiled.

Without warning, he shoved in 2 more fingers. You were so loud and Bakugou was so proud. You were gonna let everyone know what’s happening and he was excited.

He lifted his head to whisper into your ear as you continued to moan and sigh.

“Well aren’t you just a little slut. You want everyone to know how well daddy takes care of you? You want them to hear you scream in pleasure?” His words went straight to your cunt that was now welcoming in his 5th and final finger. Completely fisting you now, you let out loud cries.

“S-uki, .....ah, AH YES! Mm, s’too much!” You cried out. You couldn’t help it, you loved him. You knew you did. Even though what he did was wrong, your body took over and your mind turned off. You fully succumbed to his wishes.

You let your feet hit the ground to stand yourself up a little bit and fall down onto his fist, meeting the thrust of his hand moving in and out of you. Watching the show, Katsuki couldn’t help but stare in delight. His hard on growing bigger and bigger each second as he bit his lip to hold back his sounds. Watching you bounce on just his fist did something to him and brought out a feral beast. He snapped.

He pulled his fist out of your aching pussy and sat you down on his desk. He stood up infront of you and tore your delicate panties off.

“Katsuki-“ you were silenced with a smack to your ass

“That’s not my name, teddy bear. C’mon now, you know exactly what I wanna hear.” He said while caressing your thighs.

“..Yes daddy.” You bashfully said.

With a kiss to your cheek he praised you.

“Good girl.” As he began to unbuckle his belt, you looked around the classroom.

“D-daddy. Someone’s gonna see!” You cautiously stated.

Katsuki reassured you with a kiss to your lips, “We’ll be fine princess, I promise,” he said while placing his tip at your entrance. You whimpered at the thought of him inside you again, it’s been so long. You were almost nervous. That is until Katsuki place a finger under your chin so you could face him in his eyes.

“I’m gonna take care of you, so don’t worry.” And with that you slowly nodded. And he finally began to press into you.

With just his tip in, you let out a breathy moan. He was bigger than you remembered. He kept pressing and pressing until he was fully inside your warm and tight hole. You both let out a moan at the feeling of each other.

“Daddy, please move.” And he did as he was told. With a steady pace set, he thrusted himself in and out of you. Both of you moaning louder every second. While you were enveloped in the euphoric feeling, Katsuki was struggling to hold back the beast inside of him. That is until you came up to his ear.

“Fuck me like you mean it, daddy. I won’t break, I promise.” You said in his ear and Katsuki swore he could hear your smirk. Gripping your ass and continuing his pace he spoke.

“Don’t be mad when you can’t walk for the next week,” he smirked. With that, he slammed himself deeper, harder, and faster inside of you. His tip hitting your cervix. You let our screams of pure pleasure and he did the same.

“Oh yesss...shit daddy..so big..”

“F-fuck! Oh you like that? Yeah princess? ...oh shit baby your pussy takes me so well. Y-Yeah, your tight little cunt takes this big cock so fucking well,” he moved faster inside, exploring you completely. His hands went straight to your shirt and and ripped it open. You had a few buttons fly everywhere, but you didn’t care. He pushed your bra up and let one of your mounds fall into his hand. He squeezed it tight to release a generous moan from you. He then dove into the valley of breast to mark your chest. You held onto the back of his head and tugged at his hair and he growled at he feeling, enjoying every second of it.

“Oh yess princess just like that. S-shit. Oh fuck yes...oh you’re mine,” he went deeper inside as he spoke.

“Fuck! Daddy yes! Right t-there! Oh my god..yess,” you cried out.

“Can you feel that. Oh fuck, can you feel my dick in your gut?” He moaned out. Katsuki went to grip the edge of his desk as you kept your hold around his neck, causing him to somehow move faster. He went up to taste your lips once more

“I love you....so much princess...you hear me...Mm, your mine,” he said between kisses and ended with a smack to your now red ass.

His words had you squeezing his cock. He knew what was coming.

“Aww, is princess gonna cum? You gonna cum on daddy’s dick?” He teased.

“Mm...p-please daddy. Please let me cum,” you said while throwing your head back. Katsuki only smirked at this.

“Not yet~” he pulled out of you, leaving you a whiny mess.

“N-no! Daddy please! Please let me finish,” you said while holding onto his shoulders, inches away from his face, pressing your chest to his. Your words caused his “little” friend to grow even harder and Katsuki only smirked and looked down at you.

“Dont worry teddy bear, Daddy’s not done with you yet.” He yanked you off the desk and pressed you down onto it, with your chest to the desk. Then he slammed back into you, returning to the fast pace again.

“Fuck yeah..oh god look at this ass. Nice and round, all red for me,” he said while pounding into you.

He gave your ass a good few smacks, countered with a thrust each harder than the last before going to lay his chest on top of you to whisper in your ear.

“You wanna be a good girl for daddy? Huh, teddy bear?” He asked.

“Mmm, yes! Yes I’ll be good, just please!” You cried out. He reached his hand over to rub on your clit. Your body began to shake with pleasure.

“Then cum with me.....NOW,” he said, and that was all it took for you to release the white liquid. As you came you could feel his hot release filling you up to the brim. He cried out in pure pleasure while you did the same.

You both stayed in that position for a bit, and you could feel the mixture of both your release dripping down your inner thighs. Soon, you felt Katsuki lower himself to kiss your neck.

“You did so good princess.” He calmly said to you. It was relieving, and you loved the sound of his voice, but you couldn’t help but feel a little off at this whole ordeal.

Katsuki pulled out of you and watched how his cum covered and filled your entire pussy. He smiled at the sight and went to grabbed some tissue on Aizawa’s desk to clean you and himself up.

He tucked himself back into his pants and you rebuttoned your shirt the best you could and flipped your skirt back down. Since Katsuki tore your panties you’d have to go commando at least until you got back to your room. You watched as Katsuki went to throw away the tissues and your torn underwear into the trash can. When he made his way back to you, he held you in his arms and attempted to kiss you. But you turned away.

“Hey teddy be-“

“No, Katsuki. Please don’t call me that.” You said while looking down. Katsuki felt his heart hurt a little. You’re always gonna be his teddy bear, why would he ever stop calling you that?

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked you.

“Us. This. Katsuki, what happened today should not have happened.” You said

“What?” He was so confused and a little hurt.

As tears start to fill your eyes, you did everything you could to not let them fall. “Suki, we broke up. You accused me of cheating, you burned me! So for us to come in here and just have sex like nothing happened is wrong.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for what happened. Seriously, after what I did it destroyed me. But please listen, I lov-“ you cut him off again.

“I know!.....I know you do Katsuki.....and I love you too Suki. So much,” this brought a smile to his face. A true, genuine smile that you loved so dearly.

“But I’m scared.” You added on. This made Katsuki’s smile drop, worry and concern fill his eyes.

“Of what exactly?” He asked you while gently holding onto your hand.

“.....You.” This shocked him. His own teddy bear feared him. Heartbreaking.

“I’m scared of the lack of trust that you have for me. And not only that, but your quirk too. Katsuki I know you’re one of the best students here at UA, but I know you’re emotions can get out of hand too. It’s clear that when you’re not in control of your feelings, your quirk can lash out. The evidence is right here,” you turned you arm that he was holding to show him the scar he left on you.

Now this really hurt Katsuki. He loved marking you with his love, not with his anger. The fact that he did that to you sent his mind into a frenzy. Until he felt your touch on his cheek.

Holding onto his cheek with your soft hands, you spoke reassuring words. “Katsuki, you were right about two things. I do want us to be together again and I do forgive you,” and with that, Katsuki leaned into your touch. Holding onto your hand that held his face, he released a single tear he didn’t know he was holding and closed his eyes in relief and satisfaction.

“But I can’t be with you again.” Your words caused him to open his eyes and stare at you in shock and fear. “At least...not yet.”

Whew, his heart rate went back down. Oh the rollar coaster of emotions this poor boy was currently on.

“Yet?” He asked hopefully.

“Suki, I’m still trying to fix myself, and it’s clear that you need to fix yourself too. I really want to be with you, but we both need time to grow for each other. I can’t leave you. I know for sure that in my heart, you’re always gonna be the one I run back to, but I don’t want to run back to someone who could possibly hurt me again. I want to come back to you knowing that when we are together again, our relationship is secured.” You explained.

A silence filled the air. You both stared at each other for what felt like forever. Nobody else in the world. Just you and him. He then pulled you in for a tight hug. As he held onto you, you could feel hot tears hitting your shoulder, and quiet sobs left his voice along with a hitched breath every now and then. Katsuki was crying.

“....I promise you. I’m gonna get better for you. I’m gonna be worthy of you and your love and it’ll stay that way for the rest of our lives. You and me. Together. Im gonna do whatever it takes to get you back and I won’t stop at anything until you’re mine again. I swear I’ll treat you better than I ever did before. As long as I know that you’re coming back to me and me only, I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes teddy bear.” He said into your neck with his arms tightly wrapped around your waist.

“I know you will Suki. And I promise I won’t make you wait too long.” You said while hugging him back.

“You better not.” The blonde said.

“Don’t forget though, I’m always yours. And just yours.” You reassured him.

“......Can we at least make this a little easier for me and say we didn’t split. We’re just on a break. A small break?” He said, now looking directly in your eyes while still holding onto you.

You put his worries at ease with your gentle smile. “The smallest break, Suki.” You softly laughed as you both went back in for another hug.

“........I like it better when you call me daddy,” the damn devil said while smiling.

“Shut up you horny idiot.” You chuckled.

‘I can’t wait to be yours again,’ you both thought

You both stayed there in each other’s embraces until the world faded away. It was just you and him. Together. You were both no longer lost. You weren’t at your destination yet, but you were on the right tracks. One step closer to each other. One step closer to love.

A/N: There’s still a little more I wanna add to the story, so there will be a part 3 to close this little short story. Sorry if there were any spelling mistakes. Thank you guys so much for the love and support. As a new writer I never expected to grow so quickly so I truly love each and every one of you bear cubs! Sorry this was so long, I hope you enjoyed! 💗🧸

[caretaker-au]

CHAPTER 10

Bright light spilled into Chara’s vision as the world manifested around them. Their body—heavy and fragile—struggled and dropped them to their knees.

As they fell forward Chara caught themselves with their hands. They stared out at their small, feeble fingers that were splayed on the lavender colored floor, each digit tipped with a dull, flat fingernail. Where were they? And what was that awful pounding sensation? They pulled a hand to their chest. That’s right. Their heart. No longer made from monster magic, Chara’s human flesh felt comparatively sluggish and dense. The body they were never supposed to return to. Chara crossed their arms and gripped themself tight. Fierce emotion flooded through their body: a touch of grief for their own death, relief for their survival, and most of all, rage.

“Asriel…” they breathed, their voice a shaking whisper, “How could you?”

After everything they had done, after all that they sacrificed for him, Asriel had betrayed them. Again. As he always had. It didn’t matter how hard Chara worked or how many timelines they chased, their wretched partner threw away everything they had to protect accursed humans. This time was the worst, however. Asriel’s betrayal ended in orchestrating a shared execution.

“You really hate me that much?” Chara’s voice was little more than a shaking growl. They wanted to scream, to declare that they wouldn’t allow it, that they would find someone else who would respect them and carry out their plan. But they didn’t believe it.

“Chara?”

A small voice broke through the fury. Chara looked up and saw them. A child hesitating in a stone doorway just ahead of them: Frisk.

The child’s expression relaxed into a smile, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Anger flashed across Chara’s face. They pulled themselves to their feet, wavering slightly. They staggered towards Frisk with heavy steps, increasing their speed into a run. Frisk’s eyes widened for a moment before they scowled. The child braced themself and held out their arms, “Chara, stop!”

The caretaker grabbed Frisk by the collar and wrenched them up against the doorframe. The kid’s teeth chattered as their skull thudded against the stone behind them.

“Why?!” Chara barked, hatred seeping from their every pore, “You took everything from us! Our lives, our future, the salvation of all monsters!” Frisk turned their head away, clenching their eyes tight as Chara berated them. “Nothing was stopping you from leaving. So why?” Chara demanded, “Why did you return? To mock me? To torment me?”

“No…” Frisk answered quietly, “To save you.”

Their answer didn’t make any sense. Chara stared back, unable to even articulate a response. Instead, they slammed Frisk against the wall again. “Liar!” Chara cried out, “You expect me to believe that?”

“It’s the truth!” Frisk squirmed and pulled on Chara’s hands to no avail, “Escape isn’t worth anyone’s life. Not even yours, Chara!”

Chara’s fists clenched tighter around the slack of Frisk’s sweater. With a heave, they tossed the child to the side. Frisk splayed across the floor with a grunt.

“You are wrong,” Chara huffed, “And you… are a fool. Did you not learn the first time? I don’t care about your mercy.”

Frisk pulled themself to their feet. They straightened and returned Chara’s frenzied glare with a quiet gaze.

Chara continued, “I will not stop. This time I’ll take the souls, ignore you, and escape to the Surface. There, Asriel and I… we’ll…” Chara trailed off as Asriel’s face crossed their mind again. They sank to the floor, the air feeling heavier and heavier. “That traitor… he will never… he will never cooperate.”

The realization was like a knife twisting in their gut. Even with his betrayal, Asriel was always the most devoted. No one would be able to replace him. Despair crept into their heart as Chara realized they needed him more than Asriel needed them back. Chara had considered Frisk their greatest opponent, but it was Asriel who truly stood in their way.

Chara’s vision swam, so they turned their head away from Frisk, their hair falling in front of their face. Knowing the human was seeing them like this made their skin crawl, and they wished the ground would swallow them up. As Chara spoke, they held their breath to keep their voice from shaking. “Leave.”

Frisk hesitated, surely coming up with a response. Mockery? Pity? Chara wouldn’t bear it.

“Out of my sight! Now!” Chara shouted; their roar made the air tremble. Frisk didn’t wait to be told again. The sound of scuffling footsteps faded from earshot, and soon Chara was alone in the silence once more.

Finally, Chara let the tears fall from their eyes. They were disgusted with the way their breath hitched and sobbed no matter how much they tried to stifle it. Asriel did this to them. Asriel would have to pay.

Chara indulged in several minutes of sickening self pity before they finally wiped their face. Looking around, it took Chara a moment before they registered just where they were. They were deep within the Ruins, just outside the chamber Frisk had fallen into. But that didn’t make sense. From Chara’s experience, time could only be turned back to the most recently fixed point. Frisk should have been returned to just before their battle, perhaps in the jail. Instead, here they were, back to the moment they first met. Was Frisk not confined to the same limits of time travel?

Chara shook their head. They couldn't think about this now. Only one thing mattered: Asriel’s punishment. Drawing the will to stand, Chara pushed themselves upright to follow the child.

In one way or another, Frisk had made it past all the traps, through the house, and—presumably—out the exit. It was for the best; Chara couldn’t stand to cross paths with the child again. Inside the house, they paused to collect a large padlock they had stored in a table drawer. It was heavy and nearly the size of a text book with ornate designs engraved across it. The lock was imbued with abjuration magic, made specifically to lock the Ruins after Asriel was nearly killed by the human years ago. The lock would render any door unbreachable by human or monster, and Chara held the only key.

Chara carried the device with them into the basement, down the hall, and to the large exterior doors that lead to the snow draped forests beyond. The doors were slightly ajar, revealing a set of footprints that dotted the snow off into the distance.

Chara sighed, taking one last look at the snowy view, before pulling the doors shut. For decades, the lock had only been placed on the outside, removed only when Chara came through to patrol the ruins or escort monsters between Home and Snowdin. Today, for the first time, the doors would be locked from the inside with Chara within. They looped the padlock through the handles of the door, and when they snapped it into place, the doors shuddered and clamped together with a jolt. Chara traced a fingernail down the seam of the two doors. No one would be passing through without their permission.

Confronting Asriel directly was not an option. After all, any progress made with Asriel could be undone by Frisk. Not to mention they weren’t even sure what they could tell him. Asriel’s traitorous inclinations were buried deep into his core, waiting until Chara was at their most desperate to stab them in the back.

But there was one tactic that Frisk would be unable to interfere with. Silence. If Chara withdrew to the Ruins without a word, Asriel would surely blame himself for Chara’s sudden absence. Chara knew Asriel well: he’d beg for Chara’s return and apologize for things he didn’t do, all the while ignorant of his traitorous compulsions. Cruel, perhaps, but nothing was as cruel as what he had done in those erased timelines.

Chara checked their phone. They already had one message from Asriel inquiring as to when they’d return home. The caretaker marked it as read before slipping it back into their pocket.

---

As predicted, Asriel came to the door and stayed all night long. Knocking, calling, pleading-- Chara relished each pathetic attempt at reconciliation. He deserved to be confused, heartbroken, and alone, just as Chara was. Over the course of the day Chara received messages from Asgore, Toriel, and many other monsters. They all asked the same thing: Are you okay? Do you want to talk? We found this human named Frisk, do you know them? Even Muffet demanded an explanation. Chara would have to deal with her later.

Leaving everyone wondering and begging for answers was the only power Chara had left. Word was getting to the monsters in Home as well, evidenced by the additional messages piling up on their phone. Chara ignored them too. Eventually they would realize they were trapped on this side of the door as well, unwilling hostages in Chara’s scheme.

No matter. The monsters deserved to be trapped. Every one of them was just like Asriel: eager to please and sentimental to a fault. Chara had devoted their entire life to serving them and in return they never offered to help collect the souls that would free them. In fact, Chara had to resort to time travel to push them in the right direction for just an ounce of support. They all deserve to rot in this dark, claustrophobic hell.

---

“So you just let a human walk on by?” Muffet inquired in a sing-song voice, “That doesn’t seem much like the great caretaker at all!”

The two of them were sitting in her parlor, each on a lavish chair. A full tea set complete with baked goods sat on a low table between them, though Chara knew better than to partake in it. Spider legs stuck out of the scones like coarse hairs, and they couldn’t even imagine what the tea had been steeped with.

“Yes. Well.” Chara said, looking down at their lap, “There is not much I can do about it now.”

“Oh yes, I imagine the sweet thing is the new royal favorite, aren’t they?” Muffet’s fanged smile turned up in a mocking grin, “The queen has always had a soft spot for filthy little strays. You know that better than anyone, right, dearie?”

Chara bit back a retort. With time no longer under their control, they had to be careful while inside of her lair. It had been a week since they sealed the Ruins, and Muffet was the only person they had spoken to since. The crime lord wasn’t their first choice of confidant, of course, but she had been insisting on meeting and they knew better than to reject her invitation.

“I suppose so,” they responded softly.

Muffet giggled to herself, then suddenly reached for the plate of cookies between them. It was only after she grabbed a couple treats that Chara realized they had flinched when she moved. They tried to relax but the attempt only made them more tense.

“So, is that why you locked the exit? Had a bit of a falling out with the in-laws?”

“Something like that.” Chara frowned, “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Oh of course, a lady like me wouldn’t dream of indulging in distasteful gossip! Instead, I have a business proposition~”

Chara straightened. In their current circumstance, they didn’t have much in the way of influence or leverage.

“How can I be of service?” they asked.

“I want to relocate,” Muffet paused to bite into one of her cookies. It sounded... crunchy. “You see, the Ruins are awfully drafty, and the cold isn’t good for my constitution. I was thinking about moving in the next year or so, but now that you’ve so... graciously sealed us all in here, I predict the traffic in my shop will be slowing down considerably.”

“Understood.” Chara nodded, “I will make an exception for you and open the d—”

“I wasn’t finished, Chara.” Muffet said, her voice lowering. There was a tense pause before she smiled again, “I want a limousine~”

“A—A what?” Chara asked, incredulous.

“A heated limousine that will chauffer my employees and I all the way to Hotland,” she gestured to the spiders that skittered between the tea cups, “A necessary luxury to ensure we make it safely through the biting cold of Snowdin. Should be a simple task for a monarch, correct?”

“Of course. Leave it to me.” Chara smiled, “Is that all?”

“Not much for business, are you, Chara?” Muffet smirked, “This is where you negotiate the terms of the agreement~”

“No need. I am happy to do this as a gesture of goodwill.” Chara outstretched their hand—it wasn’t trembling anymore, thankfully—and Muffet gave it a dainty shake.

Once Chara was safely out of Muffet’s lair, they heaved a sigh of relief. Somehow they had managed to leave in one piece despite Muffet’s attempts to bait them. Now they just had to figure out how to serve her outrageous demands. Chara fished their phone out of their pocket, dismissed several dozen missed calls and text notifications, and opened their address book. They were going to need to call in some discreet favors.

---

One month had passed since they sealed the Ruins. It wasn’t easy, but Chara managed to arrange for Muffet’s departure without alerting the Dreemurrs. Eventually, the royals found out the Ruins door had been briefly opened which led to a fresh barrage of calls, messages, and knocking on the resealed door, all of which Chara ignored, of course.

Chara walked the streets of Home late at night, the crystals in the ceiling sparkling above. They could feel the eyes of the monsters on them, but after weeks of Chara ignoring and scowling in return, the monsters had given up on approaching them. Wordlessly, they did their weekly shopping at the local market. As a member of the royal family, Chara had never needed to pay for any necessities, and it seemed the benefits even extended here. It was only fair compensation, of course. After all, Chara was still serving the undeserving monsters by patrolling the Ruins every day for human threats.

---

“Ugh, really?” Chara muttered. They were nearly done with their patrol, having reached the large trap of spikes that was circled with a moat. Chara pushed down on the edge of the spike panel’s pressure plate with their foot, but the spikes failed to retract completely, the deadly points standing out by a few inches. It wasn’t a good sign: the springs inside were starting to give out. And if the springs snapped while Chara was standing above it…

Chara shuddered. They had witnessed that messy result and they didn’t care to experience it first hand. Typically, Chara would order replacement parts and perform maintenance themself, but the machinist that created the pieces was in New Home. Unsealing the door again was out of the question.

“Of course this would happen now,” Chara grumbled. They moved their foot off the plate and the spikes shot back into place. How many more compressions would it tolerate before it broke? Before Frisk came to the Underground, Chara could risk it and undo any unpleasant accidents, but if the past five months were any indication, Frisk was not nearly as eager to manipulate time. In fact, time had been rolled back only two times since Chara let the child go.

It was inconceivable. How could Frisk resist the urge to erase the inevitable little mistakes that ruined every day? Embarrassing moments, broken tea cups, scraped knees… all could be fixed in an instant with the right application of their power. To have such power and yet choose to carry the weight of their failures—it defied reason.

More importantly, if Chara suffered a tragic accident while isolated here, no one would come to their rescue… whether through time manipulation or otherwise.

“Unfortunate.” Chara said to themself with a resigned sigh, “I will have to dismantle them. All of them.” They turned around and headed back home. While they didn’t have access to their machinist anymore, they did have a few hand tools and plenty of time.

---

Eight months had passed since Chara had let Frisk go. As they walked the path of the now defanged Ruins, they revised and repeated their old plan over and over. If they could just get one more soul to replace Frisk, they would have the seven required to break the barrier and purify the Surface. The only thing missing, of course, was a willing monster to absorb them.

They reached the end of their patrol: the entrance to the Underground for lost, unlucky humans. The chamber was empty, as it had been every day since Frisk fell in. Chara walked into the center of the room and stared up into the vacant darkness looming above. One hundred years had passed on the Surface and only eight humans had fallen in that time. How long would it take for another to arrive? Ten years? Thirty? Without the help of their powers Chara could very well die before seeing the next human soul.

Chara turned to leave, but did a double take as they glimpsed a glimmer of gold on the ground. They kneeled and pushed the grass aside to reveal a small yellow bud, barely beginning to open.

“It cannot be…” Chara breathed, “A Golden Flower?”

Golden Flowers were common on the Surface, but had no presence in the Underground. Chara was so sure of this that they had incorporated them into their original plan over 20 years ago. By requesting to see the wild flowers on their deathbed, Chara could ensure Asriel would cross the barrier with their corpse in tow.

Or at least, that was what should have happened.

Chara clenched their teeth at the bitter memory. It was the first of many perfect plans ruined by Asriel’s cowardice. The caretaker grasped the plant and ripped it out of the ground by the root.

Immediately, Chara felt a pang of regret. They stared down at the pathetic thing. Their favorite flower, somehow growing in this dark, sunless prison. When had it taken root? Did some seeds blow in from the Surface? Or were they brought in by a... passenger?

Chara shook their head. Regardless of how it was introduced to the Underground, it was now a part of the Ruins—their Ruins. It didn’t deserve to suffer for Asriel’s mistakes. Reflexively, Chara attempted to turn back time, but nothing happened.

With a sigh, they returned the flower to where it was and buried its roots back into the soil. The stem was bent and it wouldn’t stay upright, but weeds were resilient. With a little help, it might still make it.

---

Chara hesitated before their latest masterpiece, knife in hand. Resting on a serving plate was a beautiful, hand crafted chocolate ganache cake. Strawberries perched on top of the silky dark topping, and the intoxicating aroma filled the house. Somehow, even without their powers, it had turned out almost too perfect to eat.

Emphasis on "almost". Carefully, Chara slid the knife through the decadent construction and placed a slice on their plate. They paused to admire the moist cross section before sliding a fork through the end and taking a bite.

Absolute bliss.

"Not bad for a humble birthday cake," Chara said to themself. They were thirty-seven today. Chara looked across the dining table into the empty living room. The only sound was the fire crackling in the hearth, emitting heat for a one person abode. They wished this house wasn’t nearly identical to the one in New Home; the similarities made it too easy to imagine Toriel in her chair, Asgore in the kitchen, and Asriel leaning on the table with his elbows, big goofy grin on his face. The Dreemurrs loved birthdays, always spending weeks preparing for a large and lavish party.

This was the first birthday they had spent alone since they were thirteen. They had forgotten how miserable it could be.

Chara checked their phone. They had over one hundred notifications that had come in just today. They scrolled through to find the only contact that mattered: Asriel.

“Happy birthday, Chara!!” the message read, “Mom and Dad and I are thinking about you lots! We even got you a gift, so I hope we can give it to you one day! Wherever you are, take good care of yourself, okay?” A line of party and heart related emojis followed.

Chara read the message over and over. Asriel’s texts would always fill them with disgust and hatred, but not today. Instead Chara just felt… lonely. It was a pathetic, shameful feeling, but a true feeling nonetheless. Despite all the ways Asriel had disrespected them, Chara couldn’t hide from the fact that they missed him.

The caretaker allowed themself to vocalize a thought they had been pushing out of their mind for months. “Maybe…” Chara spoke, their soft voice breaking the quiet, “Maybe it is time to go home.”

They sighed, resigning themself. The eternal silent treatment was never a realistic plan, and while Asriel was the intended subject of the punishment, it was unpleasant to Chara, too. Scrolling up through his messages, Asriel had sent hundreds upon hundreds over the past year begging them to “just talk”. All had gone unanswered. The confusion and desperation in those messages were clear; he was perfectly primed for a reconciliation.

But Chara wanted more than reconciliation. More important than companionship was freedom. Freedom not just for undeserving monsters, but most importantly, freedom for themself.

“There is still a way,” Chara muttered to themself, “I simply… pushed Asriel too quickly. Asriel always responded better to a softer approach.” Chara stood, pacing.

“We will delay soul fusion until the end of my natural life. Nothing barbaric or tragic. My dying wish will be to live on within him. He cannot turn down my final request.”

Chara nodded, they could see it now. After a few decades, Chara would peacefully pass from their old, frail body into Asriel’s strong, youthful one, a benefit of his species’ long life span.

“Then we gather the rest of the souls. But not right away. Asriel will need some time to adjust to sharing a vessel with me. But he will with time. Perhaps even the child can be convinced to willingly donate their soul to the cause.” Even though Frisk wouldn’t be a child anymore, it was hard to imagine Frisk as anything but a meddling brat. Honestly, they’d probably still be a brat in thirty years.

“If not, that is... fine. The child can be suffered to live.” The decision was a reluctant one, but giving mercy to such an undeserving creature gave Chara a pleasant feeling of self-righteousness. After all, it didn’t really matter if Frisk lived or died. The important thing was purifying the Surface and breaking the barrier. One human would not make a difference.

“Yes. This will work.” A smile crept onto Chara’s face and their heart thrummed with excitement. They would return to Asriel, who would embrace them with utmost relief and joy. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and Asriel had shown no signs of giving up on them.

Chara would enjoy a long life in the company of their loved ones until the day they would embrace their prophesied purpose as the Underground’s savior.

It would require patience, but their splendid utopia was once again within reach. They began planning their grand return.

chapter 10 // end

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[islesnucks]

hi bae can i request a barzy blurb based on dress by taylor swift? ty 🥺

a taylor swift song inspired barzy fic? hell yeah that’s like my two favorite things in the word together

requests are open so go send something if you feel like 

also this turned out a bit longer than I expected

I DON'T WANT YOU LIKE A BEST FRIEND - MAT BARZAL X READER

Word Count: 1.9 k

Warning: none

Summary: after Mat introduces you as his best friend and it affects you more than it should, you end up confessing your feelings for him 

Masterlist

Add yourself to my taglist!

His words hadn’t left your mind the whole night, they were on loop, replaying over and over in your brain. ‘This is Y/N, one of my best friends.’ That’s how Mat had introduced you when you arrived at his family’s friend’s wedding, to which he had invited you as he’s plus one.

You knew you and Mat were just friends, you have been for a long time, and it surely wasn’t the first time he introduced you like that. Maybe this time hit differently because you had just come to terms with the undeniable fact that you had fallen for your best friend, no matter how cliché that sounded.

You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when it happened. It just happened slowly without you even realizing. Suddenly seeing him hit on random girls at the bar made you feel sick. Suddenly his hand on your lower back guiding you through a crowded room felt different. Suddenly your name coming from his lips made the world stop. You didn’t know what turned the switch in your brain from platonic to romantic love and made you look at him with new eyes, but once you realized it there was no going back and the thought of Mat and you becoming something more was always there painfully present in the back of your head.

“Y/N?” you heard Mat call you, bringing you back to reality. You looked at him still a bit lost in your thoughts. ”Are you okay?” he asked with his eyes stuck on the windshield as he drove you home after the wedding had ended.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“I don’t know. You’ve been a little off all night.” He noticed, he obviously did. Because he’s Mat, he’s your best friend, he’s one of the most attentive guys you know and he knows you better than you know yourself sometimes. So he obviously noticed, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t keep on pretending.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you replied failing to sound as confident as you wanted to. Mat didn’t say anything and the car fell back into silence. 

You looked outside the window, trying to distract yourself and calm down. You weren’t far away from your place, in just a few minutes you’d be in your apartment. Mat had noticed something but he didn’t know what it was, so you could send him a text explaining you had a headache or something to get him off your back and just move on.

At least that was the plan but then Mat turned off the car and got out of it with you. You thought he was walking you to the building door like he had done many times, nothing strange. However he walked into the building with you and got into the elevator.

That’s when you started to suspect something was happening. You looked over at him confused and he just smiled at you, like nothing was going on. So maybe he was just walking you to the door. You decided not to think too much into it because if you did your heart would start racing and would notice your nerves, the last thing you needed was to give him more reasons to believe something was going on.

As you opened the door Mat was quick to walk into your apartment and you watched him with furrowed brows as he took a seat on your couch, casually like there was nothing weird with it.

“Excuse me? Can I help you with something?” you asked, stepping in front of him.

“I know something’s up Y/N. You barely talked today and you didn’t cry, I’ve seen you cry at stupid commercials and you didn’t cry at a wedding.”

You rolled your eyes walking away from him because you knew you couldn’t lie to his face, he’d notice. “I’m fine Mat I promised I just had a headache.”

“No you didn’t. When you have a headache you massage your head and you get sleepy, that’s not what happened today. It’s more like you were gone.” You hated how much he knew you, it would be harder to convince him but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try.

“Well I’m sorry I don’t always have the same gestures Sherlock.” you replied, irritation was clear in your tone. Mat let out a deep sigh and got up. It wasn’t his intention to argue and he could see you were getting mad, he just wanted to know what was going on.

“Y/N I know you-” he started to say as he approached you but you were tired of hearing that speech.

“Can we not do this right now? I’m tired Mat, I just wanna go to bed.” you said with a defeated look, lowering your town. He looked at you for a minute and decided to push his stubbornness aside. He knew he was right, he’d bet a million dollars on it, but he also knew you were exhausted, he could see it in your face.

Mat walked till he was in front of you, inches away, and suddenly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. He held you tight as one hand went up to your hair to stroke it. You were surprised at first but then he felt you relax in his embrace. He placed a kiss on top of your head as he balanced slightly from one side to the other, keeping his face buried in your hair.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on okay? Because I know something happened, don’t even try to pretend it didn’t. I just wanna know if it’s something I did, that’s all I need to know because I can’t leave you here alone knowing I may have done something to upset you.”

His voice was soft as he spoke against you. Tears started to build up in your eyes and you tried to push them away as you debated what your next move would be.

If you told him it wasn’t about him he'd leave and you could move on pretending nothing happened and dealing with your unresolved feelings. If you told him the truth you didn’t know what would happen. However you knew that regardless of how he felt about you he’d be nice to you. The man was hugging you tight about his chest, refusing you to leave until you told him it wasn’t his fault because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself knowing he did anything to hurt you.

Maybe it was the wine you had drank. Maybe it was because you were emotionally exhausted and unable to think clearly. Or maybe because you were tired of pretending. You didn’t know the reason why you decided to be honest and tell him how you truly felt, but you did that.

“You introduced me as your best friend today, that’s why I was off the whole day, I just kept thinking about it.” you mumbled against his chest, breaking the silence.

“Did you want me to introduce you differently?” He pulled away a little to be able to look you in the face, but his arms were still around you.

“Yes- I mean no. I-” You stumbled on your words, trying to find the right way to explain everything. “What you did was fine, I am your best friend, that’s right.”

“Then why did it upset you?” You rested your head face against his chest again, not having the courage to look him in the face as you confessed what you were about to confess.

“Cause I don't want you like a best friend Mat. I haven’t for a while now and I just don’t know how to deal with this. It’s not your fault, I don’t know what happened or when or how. I have these feelings for you and I guessed it hurt a bit to hear you calling me your best friend, even though that’s exactly what I am.”

After you spoke the room went silent again and you started panicking. You looked up at Mat who was already looking down at you and all you could see was shock. Suddenly your worst fear was real, you had screwed up your friendship with him. It was over. You felt the familiar knot in your throat and tears blurred your vision.

“Sorry ignore everything I said. Just forget it okay?” you said as you freed yourself from his embrace. Still no reaction whatsoever from him. “Shit. Shit. Shit. I feel so stupid.”

“Y/N.” he said, but you were too distracted pacing around the room and rambling to hear him.

“You know I even spent hours shopping for the perfect dress that would magically make you see me as more than your friend, do you know how stupid that sound? What am I? 15 years old?”

“Y/N listen-” he tried again but there was no getting to you, you were too lost in your own jabber. It was like once you started you couldn’t stop and you’d surely later regret all you were confessing.

“I’m an idiot. I really thought you could maybe by some miracle feel the same and-”

“Y/N!” he said now in a much louder tone so you would hear him and place his hands on your sides to stop you. You were surprised, not even realizing he had approached you at some point.

“Please stop.” he added now on a lower more tender tone, it almost sounded like a plea.

Now that you looked at him the initial shock had been replaced by something you couldn’t make out. His face was unreadable as he stated leaning in and before you could even question what was going on his lips were on yours.

You were surprised at first, eyes wide open not being to process what was going on. But once the initial shock was over you kissed him back. It’s embarrassing how many times you had thought what kissing him would be like, but it turned out to be even better than you could have imagined. His lips caressed yours gently, even a bit shily. Your hands met on the back of his neck and his slid down your sides to your waist, pulling you closer. 

Then a thought found its way into your brain.

“Wait.” you mumbled against his lips and he instantly pulled away. “I need to know you’re not doing this out of pity.”

He chuckled letting his head fall back before answering. “I’m doing this because I also don’t want you like a best friend. Because you do look amazing in that dress. Because I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long now. Because-” 

Your smile grew wider with every word and your cheeks turned red. You could tell he planned to keep on going, and you were surely going to ask him to tell you the rest later, but now there was only one thing you wanted.

“Ok, ok. I get it. We can go back to kissing now.” you said making him laugh, already tugging him closer by his neck and his laughs died in your lips.

-

hope you liked it! likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

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[dameronology]

cold coffee in the morning {poe dameron}

summary: aka the one where you and poe can't seem to work out your commitment issues, and also the one where c3po is the unsung hero (based loosely on the song by ed sheeran)

warnings: language, brief innuendos

enjoy! idk why i'm writing this at 3am but we mooooove

- jazz xx

Poe Dameron had never needed another person before - then he met you, and the idea of ever existing as an independent being for the rest of his living years had suddenly seemed like the most unappealing thing since Luke Skywalker's blue-milk cheesecake. The way you'd whirlwhinded into his life with your gorgeous smile and contagious laugh had knocked the usually-suave pilot completely and utterly onto the floor. Bruised ass aside, he wasn't mad about it. He was happy to have you in his life in whatever way you'd let him.

And what way that was exactly, he didn't know.

You were friends; close, close friends. Bonded for life through your shared goofy humour and seemingly-endless banter. Then you did things that friends didn't normally do - at least not in Poe's experience - and you would act like it was nothing. As if your nights spent together and the whispers you lost between the sheets meant as much to you as the things you did for your other friends, like stopping Finn from tripping on his shoe laces or picking up R2-D2 when he toppled over. It was as though every-time you crossed that line, you immediately regretted it; then, a few days later, you'd decide that you missed Poe, and you'd repeat the same mistake again and again, like you were trapped in a time loop of love and pain.

The feeling would stay with Poe for days; your hands tangled in his hair, his skin against yours, laughter rippling through clashing teeth and soft lips. The way you fell beside each other, sharing highs and secrets and inside jokes; the way you would reference one of your late night talks in shared conversations with friends, and his brown eyes would flick to the ground, cheeks burning red at the fact you'd remembered. It made his heart-rate pick up and palms sweaty.

And sometimes, just sometimes, it would make up for the way you'd leave in the morning; the way he'd arise to find a you-size hole in his bed and heart, and a cup of half-finished caff on the side. With his brain tinged with the remains of a hangover from the previous night, he'd pour the cold beverage down the sink and go about his day.

Poe did manage to catch you one morning; he'd purposely set his alarm so that he would stir earlier than you and rest assured, you were still dead to the world when he came around. The sun outside was still rising, the sky a dull pink-and-blue, the day fresh with hope and brimming with potential for heartbreak. It felt unnatural to see you quiet and peaceful, and not running your mouth and poking fun at anyone who would listen. There was a reason that C3PO avoided you like the plague - it wasn't his fault he was an easy target.

"You watching me sleep, creep?" You murmured.

"Just enjoying the view." Poe replied. He rolled over, crossing his arms behind his head. "You're usually gone by the time I'm awake."

You peeled one eye open, your one-eyed glare enough to send a shiver down his spine. "Don't be passive aggressive, Poe. Just say it."

"Isn't it a little early to be so feisty?"

"Isn't it a little early to make back-handed comments?" You shot back.

"Sorry. I was trying to find a way to bring up such a touchy subject."

You reached across to squeeze his check. "And you did a great job, curly."

"Alright, that's enough of that." He swatted your hand away. "I did want to talk to you about it, though."

"What is there to talk about?" You sat up, brow furrowing.

"You're confusing." Poe began. "During the day, we're friends. At night, you can't keep your hands off of me."

"It's kind of sexy and mysterious." You tried to joke.

"Sexy and mysterious is tiring."

"Sexy and mysterious is also late for work." You quipped.

You rolled out of bed, reaching for your strewn clothes. Without thinking, you pulled one of Poe's shirts over your head, grabbing your boots and socks. So many of his clothes had just snuck their way into your wardrobe - all of your friends had noticed it, but none of them commented on it. Everybody knew that there was something going on between you, but they were wise enough than to point it out. There had been one new guy who tried to ask, but he'd quickly been shut down.

"I'll see you tonight?" You asked, tugging on Poe's your jacket.

His brown eyes lingered on the floor for a moment, before flicking towards you, holding your gaze in a chokehold. "I don't think we should do this again."

You wavered for a moment, a wave of guilt clouding your judgement for a moment. This had never been about feelings - at least not for you. It had just a bit of fun; a bit of fooling around with a hot pilot. You hadn't meant to get in so deep, or get to a point where you were dismissing his feelings in favour of your own. It was more of a survival instinct than anything - breaking his heart to save your own.

That was it: lack of trust, presence of fear. All things that stopped you taking the full plunge, simply for the worry of letting him hurt you - or worst, you hurting him. Maybe it was a little late to start worrying about the latter. That ship had sailed a long time ago. Maybe it had sunk too.

"Poe-" you began, before pausing. "I have a lot going on in my life. I just don't have room for anything real right now."

"I thought the same." He was still staring right at you. "So I made room."

"It's not that simple." You reminded him. "It's not like...decluttering a room. I can't just Marie Kondo that shit and declare my love for you."

Poe froze at the mention of the L-word. It had been an elephant in the room for a long, long time - but it was outdone by the presence of bigger elephants. Like the ongoing war, and the fact that mortality had never seemed so fucking relevant. It was something you wanted to put a pin in for later, but later wasn't something that was guaranteed these days.

"Fine." He shrugged. "Good talk."

--

The guilt weighed on your brain for days, like a lead hat made of bullshit and regret.

You hadn't realised how much of a hole Poe Dameron left in your life until he was gone -- it was massive, like someone had broken into your home and ripped out two of the walls during a harsh winter storm. Everything felt a little colder and more confusing, and the amount of times you'd had to resist temptation to find him and beg for forgiveness was astounding.

The only reason you hadn't done so was because you knew what you would have to do. Give into your feelings, and let yourself become fully and entirely his. Let him into your life and into your heart. All the bullshit you'd spewed about not having room had been just that: bullshit. You didn't need to make room for him in your heart when he, entirely and wholly, was your heart. And he'd taken a little bit of it with him when he walked away - well, when you'd walked away.

Is this how it felt to be the villain?

"Is everything okay, master?" The sound of your favourite droid brought you back to the present. "You're being uncharacteristically quiet. On average, you've usually said 356 words by 9AM."

"You keep count?" You glanced up from your paperwork, eyebrow quirked. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"Eight of ten times that you've said that, you haven't been fine-"

"- just give it a rest, Threepio." You cut him off. "Please?"

"If there's anything I can help with, let me know." He replied. "A droid's logic can be surprisingly helpful."

"I'm fine but thank-" you stopped in your tracks, pondering for a moment.

Logic. That was certainly something you lacked - the part of your brain that was supposed to be rational was too busy thinking about hot pilots.

"Master?"

"Sorry." You blinked. "Maybe I'll have your input on something."

"Please, go on."

"I love someone and he loves me." You said. "It's just very complicated."

"If a problem can be reduced down to seven words, I would not class that as a problem." Threepio said. "I would say a problem is at least thirty words or more."

You thinned your eyes at him. "What are you saying, goldilocks?"

"Perhaps, your problem is only a problem because you think it is." He replied. "When you lay things out and look at them logically, it can make more sense."

"Logic isn't my strong-point. You know that better than anyone."

"You love Master Dameron and he loves you-"

"- I never mentioned names."

"My apologies." Threepio said. "I was simply reading the room."

"Right."

"Remove your emotions, and those are the facts." He continued.

It was bad enough when Poe was right, but it was even worse when C3PO was. But, for all his theatrics and whining, he was right. Decisions made with logic rather than emotion always had a better outcome. It was plain and simple: you and Poe loved one another. Everything else - your fear and his dismissiveness and your collective confusion - only existed because you let it. But your feelings for each other? That was something you couldn't help.

"Right - thanks." You murmured. "I'll be right back."

You quickly stood up, tossing aside your datapad and immediately exiting the room. The base was small, and Poe was never that far away, even when the room was on the furthest side of the base. It was also your favourite place in the entire camp; it was covered in photos of you and him and your friends, and it was always warm. The mixture of sentimental clutter and little knick-knacks, paired with the gentle smell of his aftershave clinging to the sheets and clothes scattered around, made it feel like an actual home.

You didn't bother knocking - that formality had gone out the window long ago. Instead, you took a deep breath and gently opened the door. There was no certainty that he would even be in - you could only hope. The chances of him being anywhere else were pretty slim.

They'd worked in your favour today, because Poe was stood by his coffee machine, a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was wild and curly and there were still drops of water on his back.

He turned around when he saw you, brow furrowing. Mostly because he had never seen you so breathless and sweaty, but also because he hadn't expected you to ever talk to him again. He'd always known you to stick by your decisions - he normally admired your stubbornness, but as of recent, it had been fucking exhausting.

"Hi-"

"- I love you." You suddenly blurted. "Hi."

"I-" Poe paused, putting down his coffee. "What?"

"I love you. More than anything in the world, ever." You shrugged. "That terrifies me, but I can deal with fear."

"You can. You're pretty bad-ass." He casually nodded.

"Right." You smiled. "I'm sorry it took me so long to say that."

"Hey, it's okay." He gently smiled. "Come here."

You met half way across the room, bodies colliding in a tight hug. His warm, post-shower skin felt like heaven against yours, large hands dragging up and down your back. He consumed everyone one of your senses at once, but mostly, he consumed your ability to think. Your brain was so over-loaded with feelings that the rest of it completely broke down and malfunctioned - kind of like the time you spilt coffee on BB-8.

"I love you too, by the way." Poe gently murmured. You let out a small chuckle.

"I know." You smiled.

"What made you say it now?"

"Threepio said something about logic." You muttered. "The only logical thing for two people who love each other to do is be together, right?"

"I mean, I can think of other things-"

"- Poe!" You whacked his shoulder.

It was though you had untangled your feelings, and the only thing left was a line that went straight from him to you.

"You're right." Poe said. "Thank you for realising it."

You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Thank you for being patient."

"It's worth it." He couldn't help but grin. "Do you want some caff? It's still warm."

tags: @anetteaneta @poestardust @marvelinsanity