#ok? and?? where am i supposed to go be for real rn

[alecscudder1987]

heard somebody say today that gen z grew up slower than millenials, gen x, boomers, etc. idk where they were but that did not happen to me and if you're gonna talk about drivers licenses or dating or something im gonna talk about covid hitting us in high school and college when those things usually happen ?? like you cant say we're slow to develop and also say we're the most politically active generation or whatever. i guess you can say that but it doesn't mean we're stupid or underdeveloped we're just. i don't know what we are i'm just pissed cause like give us time???? fuck man im still like 19 sorry im not joining the corporate workforce and having kids yet jeez im afraid of everything ever give me a minute

[yuri-is-online]

Head up this ask is kinda weird.

So do you think people wear perfume in omegaverse AUs 😀? Because the fact that everyone already has scents, perfume has to kind if clash with it right? Maybe some people use light perfumes to enhance their scents, and then those "Alpha Male" (omg that just gets a whole other meaning) podcast bros call it catfishing.

Would perfume even exist in the first place? I don't really see a purpose for perfume if everyone already has a scent... but bro imagine Yuu (who isn't from an a/b/o world and is getting really confused as to what the fuck an omega is and cringes every time of the guys calls themselves an alpha. Meanwhile everyone else is trying to figure out why this weirdo doesn't even have the slightest sent. Especially jade becuase I'm on that JadeYuu shit rn) that wears perfume or cologne trying to get more. And when they can't find any at Sam's they just try to fucking make it. I mean it's a little weak smelling and some of the notes don't exactly go with the others but hey! They have something to spritz now! :)

And now their friends are doing double takes because bro you did not smell like that last night. Also it smells artificial and it's weirding them out

Anyways I sincerely apologize for making you read that.

oh no you don't go apologizing for this confused, a/b/o is a guilty pleasure of mine (also i am doing concept drawings for asmodeaus rn. the timing of this ask made me laugh real hard) This isn't a smutty ask, but just so all of you know, I am good with those since I need the practice with suggestive stuff. I just won't be very good at it for a bit.

Anyway. I have never actually thought about this, but I have always sort of thought of scents in abo worlds to be a very instinctual thing that no amount of perfume can cover up. I don't know if you've ever encountered a scent you can taste but I have, a light in the room of a pool I was swimming in went out and let out a smoke so foul you could still feel it on your tongue and in your lungs when you pinched your nose. It was beyond overwhelming. That doesn't mean there's any less of a reason for perfumes to exist though, as I talked about in that post about Rollo's handkerchief in the past disease was thought to have been spread through foul smelling odors and bad air. If anything I could see that being an even bigger superstition in an abo world where scent is already super important. I could see people trying to make scents that complimented their natural one, maybe it could even be a courting ritual for an Alpha to give an Omega they are interested in a perfume they've made that compliments their smell and has notes of their own... Oh! Or working in notes of their scent to their own perfume to indicate interest!

a-twistedheartslonging mentioned in their tags on that post about Jade's scent that Morays use scents to attract a mate, so if you take that idea about perfume being a courting step I could see Jade just being so distraught that his beloved pearl has no discernible scent. And what's worse they keep changing what little scent they do have! What's he supposed to do with that huh? I think he'd be the only one excited by Yuu making their own perfume because it gives him an excuse to talk about the scents that Yuu likes and what perfumes are like in their world. Maybe they could make a perfume together next time (⚈_⚈)? Oh haha he's just thinking out loud he knows you aren't close enough for that ye- Oh you... you would like that? You think he smells nice and you want to know what sort of perfume or cologne he uses?

(he'd get so delulu so fast if you said that. sure Yuu you can smell just like him c: just let him dim the lights a bit first he hears that's important c: just remember to be gentle with him ok???)

[weebsinstash]

Ok so tmi (on the tmi blog lol) but the first day of my Cycle I had a dream that I had just given birth and I was holding my baby and I was goddamn euphoric even though the logical part of me was like “???? I am 22 and broke i CANNOT have a baby rn” and I woke up crying and called my friends like I WANNA HAVE A BAAAAAABYYYYY I WANT A BAAAAAAABYYYYYYYY so basically. Imagine. Miguel catches you in a moment of weakness. And he NEVER. FUCKING. FORGETS IT.

Oh wow girlie those period hormones grabbed you by the uterus and absolutely REFUSED to let go

NO BUT FOR REAL don't look at me but I've been thinking of a concerning number of ideas where it's like, "Reader suddenly realizes they may want a baby and is actually putting serious thought into it and Miguel finds out (bet your ass Peter B tells him, i can see him as a "well intentioned" platonic guardian/mentor figure who sells you out to Miguel the second he thinks you're doing something risky or he thinks it's for your own good) and Miguel starts making all these plans and preparations behind your back to have a baby with you" and obviously I like the extra juicy option of "he found out you got extremely depressed and tied your tubes or something because you either see no point in you having a kid/think it's too late, OR, Miguel was the only person you were looking at as a potential father and you either decide it wouldn't work out or he does something to hurt you and you lose trust in him" so like, the double whammy combo of him being hit with the news you basically walled off your fertility that he's kinda fantasizing about AND you blame him for it

You see him chokeslam Miles on the train and having all these serious anger and stress issues and you're like "hmmmm don't like that" and basically make the tubal ligation appointment that week (but, you know, he'll either interfere before you can actually get it or even reverse it later on)

Like. Ugh I'm not sure if I should go super into detail bc I feel like I want to put this scene in the YouTwo fic or in a different idea i have thats more centered around motherhood, but, picture he catches you in his monitor room one day after you've lost your home dimension, you're having a little more than just a small identity crisis, and he catches you having Lyla show you the model for your life, or what the algorithm had predicted your life was supposed to be like before your universe just magically poofed away. You're just staring at these holograms with tears running down your face and he occasionally catches you starting to reach out like you want to touch what you see. He comes to stop you because he already knows all too well where this could lead, you can't become tempted to break canon and go somewhere else, but you beg him to let you watch just a little longer

"I was supposed to get MARRIED! I was supposed to have a BABY! I was supposed to have a family!! It's not fair!!"

And he's in total agreement with you because, who even fucking knows why your universe suddenly destabilized and vanished. He sees you as this person who has so much promise and potential who had their destiny and future literally snatched away from them and now you're lost and confused on what you're supposed to do, like really he totally understands why you feel so aimless. But watching these holograms is like torturing yourself, and he goes to stop you when you just keep crying because this is basically sending you into a critical mental health episode

"Someone was supposed to fall in love with me... we were supposed to have a baby... would I have been a good mom? Would I have had a boy or a girl? Cant you at least let me find out what my daughter's name would have been?"

And it's like NOOOO you can't hit him with the daughter card, don't you see what you've DONE!!! Gets him right in the heart. Now he's got this massive soft spot for you, bigger than it already was anyways, and he can tell over time you're just really starting to, grieve the future you were supposed to have, falling into a depression. Peter B is hanging around with Mayday like he usually does as both men can tell you're really staring at his baby today and he offers to teach you how to hold her. you're standing there misty eyed twirling one of her little curls around your finger as her dad starts volunteering information to you, "you know she's about XYZ months old now, they aren't really talking yet at this age but they're really curious about their surroundings and--"

Miguel watches as you start talking about children and suddenly get this really really tortured expression and just say "it's not meant to happen" and or some combination of "it's too late for me" and gives him his baby back a little too quickly in typical "I am clearly leaving the room to go cry" fashion. Meanwhile Peter B is like 38 wondering why you think you're out of time or it's not supposed to happen

Miguel's working one day and Peter is trying to shove his phone in his face, "you know I think this is one of the BEST photos of Mayday I've ever taken, she's looking so cute here, you just GOTTA see it" and Pete just won't let up and Miguel finally looks just to humor him because the man is being unusually annoying and, it's a photo of Mayday, duh, but being held by you, and you're clearly looking down at her with watering eyes and the smallest little smile that says "I'll die for you" and Peter is just all 😏 as Miguel is 'suddenly' interested in the photo. "That's a really good photo of MAYDAY, right? 😏 I figured you would like it, that photo of MAYDAY 😏" and Miguel is just grumbling and grouchy bc he sees what this guy is tryna do, but he's still like ".... send it to me later, I'm trying to work right now"

It's even worse if you're a member of his strike force because you're constantly around him, Peter B, and Jess. Miguel just, idly wondering where you are and deciding to walk around a little bit and eventually finds that you're having some sort of conversation with Peter B and Jess and he can tell you look really weepy as the other woman invites you to feel her baby kicking, like, you could not more obviously be developing baby fever, and you ARE around that age, and ESPECIALLY if you live in Nueva York because it's like, YEAH you're still a Spider and YEAH you help the Society with stuff but. Your home universe is gone, your canon is gone, you're kind of. Free as a bird really? But you're also scared because, if someone was destined to love you, does that mean it technically isn't meant to be to fall for anyone else? You can't exactly hook up with people at the Spider Society because of canon or them already having relationships, and you don't exactly have identifying documents if you wanted to try and adopt

I think it'd really reach a stressful breaking point if you and the strike force go to another universe to fight an anomaly and Miguel catches you staring out into the crowd of people you just saved and he sees what youre looking at instantly and his heart sinks. Another you, another normal you, never bitten by a Spider, is standing there with her husband and her little sputtering baby, and he has to all but drag you away as you cry "it's not fair, it's not fair, why does SHE get a normal life!!"

Sidebar for a moment, I think that's probably also one thing that would be so INFURIATING about the doppelganger stealing your life story because THEY have a home universe and YOU don't. They take your life, they take literally everything you have left, your friends, your sense of community, your literal purpose. I've already decided on YTs motivations but could you imagine you finding out YouTwo actually has a decent life and maybe even a husband and kid of their own and you're just furious because they're basically abandoning their duties back home not only as a Spider but as a parent/spouse to steal what YOU have? You can't kill them because it would break their canon and kill like countless people but Miguel and the others would def let you beat the shit out of your evil double and get some of your anger out. Like. Jesus could you imagine Miguel kicks you out thinking you're the fake and after you're gone, YouTwo breaks canon and that's what exposes them, or theyre exposed when they eventually take a trip back home and get caught. The Society's regret, the guilt, the anger, just marinate me with the drama

But anyways back to Being Sad and Babycrazy, you go missing one day and Miguel has to decide what to do when he finally tracks your bracelet and you're back in THAT dimension again. He has to physically track you down using your bracelet's signal because you refuse to answer his messages and you're, in the home of the other you while she takes a brief nap, in the nursery, holding her baby. Miguel quietly climbs through the window and you're in a rocking chair and you've got her hugged to your chest and your eyes are closed and you sense him and, obviously cry because you know you have to leave. Unlike with the holograms he doesn't give you any leeway on this, putting his foot down that this has to end here, this cant go on, this is already so dangerous. And, you're good for him and understand, leaving the baby back in its crib as you and Miguel warp away. You're heartbroken but ultimately understanding when he has to disable your watch's ability to visit that specific dimension again, and you're obviously extremely depressed for a while, having multiple Spiders coming to check in on you as word spreads around that you aren't doing well

I can just see Reader becoming kind of desperate because the only options for a baby you really have left is to either 1. get a serious relationship, which you're scared of because you have to trust that person and who can you even pick, you're nervous about breaking canon or something, or 2. Get some random person to impregnate you so you can run off with the baby

Miguel gets a call from Peter B that you went to a bar and you're EXTREMELY wasted as you try to pick someone, ANYONE up and like, you have admirers for sure but there's enough decent people around to keep the creeps in line, clearly you are in a vulnerable state of mind right now, and Miguel gets to tote your drunken ass back home as you drunkenly word vomit all your feelings to him because, unfortunately for you, he has your trust, and you need comfort right now, and you even ask him about what being a parent was like for him. You encouragingly tell him he shouldn't give up if he still wants kids, you trying to be genuinely nice and not trying to imply anything, blubbering about how he deserves to still be happy and he's still got time, and here's Miguel who's practically tracking your cycles at this point, TOTALLY not going to use anything you say to him while you're piss-drunk against you

Especially if you add ABO into the mix and you have a Miguel who's either Alpha/Omega and is already babycrazy af and he sees you literally fucking YEARNING for it, like. You've got a 6'9" Alpha basically looking at you, his poor lil Omega crush, with the big yandere goo goo eyes and how you need all this love and support and stability and how you're in need of a proper husband and of course he's all too willing to volunteer himself for the job. Even if he's too awkward to come right out to you and say it, he'll be thinking in his head and planning behind your back ways to take care of you, keep you away from any drugs/alcohol (no more smoking weed with metro boomin Spiderman, you've gotta detox your body to have a baby! Also, different concept but, Miguel basically keeping you in a bubble to control all your meals and recreational activities and all of that so he can make sure you're perfectly healthy for a baby)

Don't let this man catch you slipping up! Throw you to the Spider Society and you'll come back pregnant 😭 he sees you so depressed and wanting a baby and it's like well, if your life needs new meaning, he can help literally make one for you 😏 he's been feeling protective and nurturing of you anyways, so, it's an extra benefit for him to think of getting to have both you AND a little baby of your very own ❤️

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

Ok here’s my two cents that no one asked for on the current (sort of?) debate going on in the Creepypasta fandom on here rn.

For starters, I grew up with Creepypasta. I also grew up mentally ill. I am also autistic. So I know my way around good and bad mental health rep at this point. And to be honest? A lot of the original stories DID suck balls at representation or just horror writing in general.

However, nowadays I see other people on here, often mentally ill or any other social outcast, taking these characters and reshaping them as their own to fit their own feelings and experiences, and I don’t think anyone has the authority to criticize things like that. Cringe culture is supposed to be dead anyways, nevermind the fact it’s inherently ableist at its core.

We also need to take into account kids still exist in the fandom. Pre teens who got tired of shit like scooby doo and wanted something more “mature” or “edgy” to get into without fully going off the deep end into full blown horror movies. At least that’s how it was for me. Not everyone, especially someone who’s younger, is gonna be comfortable with the grit and gore a lot of Creepypasta “purists” are pushing for these days, and that’s okay! When a fandom gets popular it’s always inevitable and unavoidable to have the popular characters get two dimensionalized.

There’s also the whole mascot horror thing that I don’t wanna get into, but I’m 90% sure that also plays a part in the old favorites like Jeff and slenderman being brought up again. They were and still are recognizable characters. Recognizable characters aren’t a bad thing. Making horror more approachable for younger audiences isn’t a bad thing. People having their own interpretations based out of their own experiences isn’t a bad thing.

Some of us grew up and wanted the more edgy and reality based content, and that’s also not a bad thing! But neither side should be dictating or policing how the other enjoys content in this fandom. If you personally don’t like the way something is written, characterized, depicted, or drawn, no one’s forcing you to look at it. No one’s claiming it as canon. No one’s asking for you to accept it as the end all be all.

At the end of the day this fandom was built on OCs and personal depictions of stuff. I can’t name a single character or story in this community that was created by some outside party like a movie or TV studio FIRST (because I know some got so popular they breached the fandom and got their own shows/movies/comics/etc). Everything here was created by someone who wanted an outlet for their creativity, or their pain, or their coping, or whatever else.

Realism and dark headcanons aren’t bad, and neither are any of the headcanons out there who just wanna make a goofy found family of social rejects as a form of escapism.

A 13 year old drawing a fictional layout of a fictional mansion where these fictional characters live isn’t going to suddenly invalidate the horror, I promise, it’s not that deep and it never was.

A 22 year old making a dark comic on the realistic origins of Jeff who is a fictional character in a fictional world isn’t going to suddenly invalidate the more softhearted side of the fandom.

Sure, there can still be a split if people are so adamant about that, but as someone who personally enjoys both the brutal horror side and the “haha Jeff is 15 and gay” sides equally, y’all need to at least learn to be civil to anyone who has a different headcanon than you. And if that seems like too much still, the block button exists for a reason.

TL:DR this fandom is based entirely off OCs and headcanons and people can do whatever the fuck they want because none of it is real and horror comes in many shapes and sizes and intensities and no one should be bashing anyone on their headcanons or views or rewrites or whatever else.

EDIT:

Actually wait I think I have more to say-

Horror, like any genre, has NO AGE LIMIT. And by that I mean, if someone younger wants to delve into scary stuff, they should be allowed to do so without criticism. I personally grew up on “child friendly” horror media like Scooby-Doo, and the older I got the more horror I wanted to experience.

There’s no right or wrong way to “understand” horror, and I frankly think it’s ignorant and stupid to say if you don’t fully “understand” something, then you shouldn’t be involved in it at all. Horror isn’t always about gore and unspeakable violence and the eldritch entity that wants everyone’s skin inside out. That’s why horror has sub genres for fucks sake. Gut wrenching brutality against innocent people isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay!

However, bashing anyone’s tamer headcanons, or calling anything anyone interprets differently than you “stupid”, that’s not okay. God, I feel like an exhausted parent giving this lecture to fellow adults, but this really needs to be said and stressed.

I am an adult. I like when stuff in the fandom takes a dark turn. But for nostalgia’s sake, I also love the fanon so much, because that’s what I was exposed to.

And for fucks sake if it comes down to picking sides, I would rather stick with the part of this fandom that gives zero shits how you see a character as long as you’re having fun.

You can have your serial killer 30 year old Jeff and your canon-accurate-to-that-one-image eyeless Jack, but don’t shit on other people if they don’t want the same thing. Your interpretation isn’t canon, and neither is anyone else’s for that matter.

Realistic, dark, gritty Creepypasta isn’t a new concept, and neither is “adult” Creepypasta. And by the way, Creepypasta was never stated to be for adults. That’s like saying kids and only kids can eat trix cereal. It sounds that stupid on paper.

Let people interpret things the way they wanna interpret. No one is infringing on YOUR character ideas. Creepypasta has no age limit, nor a set way the horror has to be presented. Those who do continue to claim that just sound like pretentious assholes.

Very small side note, I personally think it’s inappropriate and rude to keep using Toby as a “bad example” of mental health rep when the creator has stated multiple times the character is old, not researched, and not even in the fandom anymore. Leave the poor guy alone.

[whyse7vn]

FLOW -

[ kim taehyung x reader ]

TAE ( ´(ｴ)ˋ )

taehyung: baby was just in the store

and the worker lady came and asked me what the flow was like

at first i was like

???

but then it clicked

so then i dropped the hardest freestyle known to man

like no joke was wayyy better than anything yoongi joon or hobi would spit

and i KNOW she was fucking with it cuz she was like

“heavy?”

LIKE YES MY FLOW HEAVY AS HELLL

y/n: are you actually brain dead be honest

taehyung: don’t be mad cuz you don’t flow like me

y/n: i do flow

taehyung: NO WAY?????

didn’t know u got down like that pretty

should we battle or something

let’s get the worker lady to judge it

y/n: did you get the fucking pads or not?

taehyung: what

y/n: taehyung

taehyung: taehyung

y/n: yes or no

taehyung: oh

y/n: don’t oh me

taehyung: um

y/n: taehyung

taehyung: ok i see where i went wrong lolz

i was standing in front of the little period isle when she asked about flow

in my defence she should of been more specific

like i’m kim taehyung

ofc i’m gonna be thinking about music

like that’s my whole life

y/n: you had a mask on no?

taehyung: yeah

but i have real recognisable eyes she should of known

y/n: or maybe you should of had some fucking common sense?????

taehyung: i did

it’s very common to confuse flows

y/n: you were standing in the pad isle and chose to freestyle

taehyung: did do that

y/n: you amaze me

taehyung: thank u ❤️

y/n: that was not a compliment

taehyung: i’m pretty sure it was

y/n: i’m telling you it’s not

taehyung: someone’s on her period 😭

y/n: I AM

i’m actually going to strangle you

wow

taehyung: almost home

y/n: do not come back

taehyung: let’s get the pads together

and like idk what size pussy you wear so like you can help

y/n: stop talking to me

oh my god

i hate you

i actually hate you

taehyung: is ur pussy big???

be honest

y/n: STOP TALKING

IM BEGGING YOU

taehyung: small medium or large

just like a coke from mcdonalds

tell me babe

y/n: you did not just compare my pussy to a fucking mcdonalds coke

taehyung: would you of preferred i said sprite??

y/n: go

away

taehyung: meow

are you mad at me????

what did i do

baby :(((((((((((

y/n: if you do not come home with my fucking pads and flowers i’m not letting u in

taehyung: what about mcdonalds???

y/n: fuck off

taehyung: ur telling me ur not hungry rn…

y/n: are you trying to call me big??

taehyung: the biggest!!!

y/n: blocked.

taehyung: HEART

THE BIGGEST HEART OH MY GOD BABE I SWEAR

OH MY GODDD I SWEAR THE BIGGEST HEART U HAVE IT I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT

ITS HARD TO TYPE AND WALK I SWEAR OH MY GOD

y/n: don’t care kys

taehyung:

y/n: what the actual fuck is wrong with you

taehyung: wrong photo

there you go

🫰🏻🫰🏻🫰🏻

why they kinda look like us waitttt

y/n: that is a white man and woman

taehyung: us in an alternate universe

y/n: bye

taehyung: baby talk to me pls

come back

let’s love

not fight

#lovewins

not hate

let’s hold hands

skip in some fields

let’s paint

omg paint me like one of ur french girls

didn’t that girl that like almost drown say that

lol

flipping loser

i could never drown

put me in the middle of the ocean and i wouldn’t drown i’m telling you

i’m a swimmer

not a drowner

put me in a hurricane bro

y/n: hurricane??

taehyung: the big wave of water thing

y/n: a tsunami????

taehyung: is that not a dessert…

y/n: what

taehyung: tsunami

y/n: no

taehyung: babe…

y/n: just piss off actually

taehyung: i told you

y/n: that literally says tiramisu

taehyung: exactly

y/n: last words

taehyung: chicken nuggets?

you can no longer send messages to this contact!

taehyung:

aw wait wtf :/

—

silly little silly post

don’t hold me to this btw these are just quick silly little sillies you get me??? probably not but it’s ok cuz i get it and that’s all that matters in life sighs

i could be a poet guys i’m telling you

tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @junghoseokshusband

[kneelingshadowsalome]

“In walks König, and it seems even the birds have gone silent, the sun goes into a cloud, and he stands there at her door, barely fits to straighten to his full height under that frame, his ice blue eyes creasing in the depths of the hood – of course he's smiling. And then he tilts his head, terror and lust pool in her stomach again as he says......

...And she despises herself for the first thought she's having, the unchecked little whisper...

He came for me.

"Found you."

———-

i am literally spiralling rn this had my damn heart beat speeding up!!!!!😭😭😭😭 howwwww do you manage to outdo yourself every time, it’s like you add another twisted piece of a puzzle into building this man😭😭😭

good luck getting rid of him now, he’s gonna put a tracker on your phone, car, laptop etc making sure you don’t stray from your regular routes (he compromises after you two make up and says he’s fine with you working/studying and having a few close friends, friends he has of course done an extensive background check on without your knowledge. The private military allows one such perks)

he’d put hidden cameras all over the house, just for making sure that you’re safe when he’s out during missions no ulterior motives whatsoever he’s totally not creeping on you when you’re sleeping or showering no mam

he’ll give you the illusion of freedom, but in reality you’re only moving freely within the confines he has created for you. Everything to keep you pliant, and willing.

he’d put hidden cameras all over the house, just for making sure that you’re safe when he’s out during missions no ulterior motives whatsoever he’s totally not creeping on you when you’re sleeping or showering no mam

PLEASE my drink came out of my nose

König could just watch you for hours ❤️ (with a zoned out, blank expression). It's cute when you go into a fetal position when you're sleeping, as if you can sense you're being watched… And when he's at the base he would plug that stuff in and watch it from a bigger screen in some surveillance room. It's just to make sure you do what you said you would are safe, to check that everything's ok.

He would so watch those tapes, preferably a live stream, every chance he gets. And if he can't get it real-time he'll just watch the recording when he gets back, fast forwards through some of it but checks meticulously certain parts & that you keep to your routines. You know, go to work and come home at times you're supposed to.

Checks the tracker for your routes, that everything matches, but mostly just loves it that he put those cams inside your house. Sometimes plays the parts where you're having breakfast, sitting and sipping your drink all cute... watches you sleep, too.

And omg the shower cam??

Someone walks in the surv. room when he's having some me time and watching you shower, and is like "König…? What r u doing?" Because there's an odd scent of musk hovering in the air, and König looks at the screen completely obsessed, answers without ever moving his eyes from it:

"Mm, watching the perimeter."

And the rando soldier leaves with a feeling that someone just sent ice down their back... They think to themselves, "Why the hell is he so mesmerized by some CCTV material? There's nothing going on out there, just wind blowing and like… this is a heavily guarded secret military base we're not in some safe house wtf?"

…doesn't know König was slowly fisting himself under the table while watching his Engel rub some shower gel on those tits 💖👀

[how2forgive]

bday diary...rambling look away...

birthday weekend was very special. i was happy to just journal, run errands, and go for a cute intimate dinner on the actual day. i continued the lil bday tradition w myself watching a rohmer film alone. this time it was le rayon vert and it was the perfect movie for this time of my life

on saturday my friends planned a night out for me💗 we barhopped then went to karaoke. v fun n cathartic

it was all very beautiful but i ended up hanging around and talking to a close friend while everyone else ubered home. it was rly late but i didnt mind walkin him home..we're always yapping together anyway n its always fun and i feel v safe w him! eventually when we neared his house he had asked if i had feelings for him the same way he had for me. i suppose i had given him the wrong impression these past few months, and that he thought we were heading into something romantic..when it is not the case..

i just find it interesting that if i am truly my unfiltered self with boys they will always take it as me wanting to date them. i want to treat all my friends the same, with the same heart and enthusiasm, but everytime i match my behavior i have towards female friendships with guys, it backfires ..

there was a long discussion that followed that was healthy and good but ultimately i just feel bummed bc in the end we decided some distance between us was best.

right now.. i revere friendship more and i feel sad that this rejection just feels like a failure or loss to him.. when it could be so much deeper and better than a relationship. but whatever

he told me he held onto this thing i said where i was like "im at a point in my life where my heart is open" and thought i was hinting at something? yeah...i have a lust for life..not boys..

i think overall im just frustrated and tired that i have to constantly justify my decision to be single or the fact im not interested in romantic love rn.. What i have in mind that makes me want to kms: my ex , who is on his second gf since me, telling me i need to "put myself out there" and saying "it'll be ok" as if he pities me.. i was like omg this must be my rock bottom. god must hate me

but NO. i have to say i am the most content and self-assured ive been in my twenties. its not problem-free but i dont have this horrible restlessness stirring in my soul, i dont have feelings of yearning or emptiness anymore. I just have gratitude for my little life and the instances of love lately that have felt like real true intimacy, more than ive experienced in relationships. Im still learning and figuring it out but it feels better like this.

[serpyserper56]

Alright here we go. This is the introduction post. Am I good at these? No. But here we go anyway.

I'm Serpy! I'm fine with all nicknames on that unless they're not absolutely terrible. I don't mind if you call me by my real name (Jacob) either.

But if you call me Jake, I will block you instantly, joke or not. I absolutely despise being called that and I will not hesitate.

Cleveland Ohio's worst! Save your jokes for later, only in Ohio, I've heard it before.

I'm 16. I'm OK with NSFW jokes and things such as, but if you go any further please warn me. I'm as depraved as you are but consent is great.

If you put a gun to my face and asked me to tell you my biggest hyperfixation, I would say The Black Keys. They're my favorite band, I love them so much, and if we talk for 2 weeks or more I will try my hardest to force them onto you. I love all music in general, aside from country music. I also hate AJR and Machine Gun Kelly. If you like them, I have no problem with you for it. But be wary that I will shit talk them whenever I can lmao. My entire music taste can be found on my last.fm

Speaking of music, I play the drums! I've been a percussionist for 7 years ongoing and I also march bass drum. It's genuinely a blast and I would highly recommend.

I do also play a lot of Splatoon! I'm not good by any means but I've been playing since the first week of Splatoon 1 and I can hold my own against most players (at least I would like to think.) Not on any teams rn but here's my sendou profile.

Object shows are cool as fuck. Tennis Ball and Pillow literally like live in my head. I'm trying to figure that out, but they do. They'll probably get their own blogs soon but I'm lazy af lmao.

I follow all of the big 4 American sports (baseball football basketball and hockey) pretty religiously. All of the teams from Cleveland ofc (or the blue jackets because we don't have a hockey team.) I know more about baseball than the other 3 combined, though, and the Guardians make me explode in every meaning of the word. I can name every single pitcher no hitter since 1978, test me!

I talk so much oh my god. They call me the Conversation Killer (they've never called me that but shhhh.) Be wary of that.

DNI if you meet basic criteria pretty much. If you bother me I'll tell you, and I expect you to do the same. I don't mind if you think I'm the most annoying person of all time, but please tell me instead of doing it behind my back lmao. I have an entire host of problems and trauma in my head that is genuinely too long for this post, but if you must know, contact me here or on my discord (serpyserper56).

Some other important links:

Here's my AO3 (BOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE WRITES FANFICTION)

Here's my Twitter where I mostly just retweet and post random memes.

That's it from me! If you're one of 6 people reading this post, I'll see you around, I suppose.

[tumblezwei]

I'm gonna make a kind of pretentious rant rn bc I saw a post I didn't like so bear with me

So like, there's this post I saw. it starts out with "finally figured out exactly what it is about the 'stop complaining about the lack of women in shonen anime, if you want stories with strong and interesting female characters shojo is right there' argument that bothers me so much" and then it says this

I'll be honest, the biggest annoyance here is calling shoujo and shounen "genres." And to me that just shows that even though OP seems to get the actual intention behind the above statement, they still have some fundamental biases against shoujo that makes them think all it has to offer is "girl stuff."

Like, look at the comparisons they give. Princess Tutu and Madoka (which isn't even confirmed a shoujo) vs Naruto and MHA. Ask literally any shoujo fan for a rec that compares to Naruto and I can guarantee you neither of those above will be the first to cross their minds. Because surprise surprise! Shoujo does, in fact, contain as much deep, complex, and interesting stuff as shounen! And that even includes action! I can give you so many examples of a shoujo being mistaken for a shounen (cough Banana Fish cough) or a shounen mistaken for a shoujo (cough Horimiya cough) because demographics are not defined borders. You can't just say that of course someone who likes action/adventure won't like the Girl Stuff. It's a reductive view of what female-centered media can be in and of itself.

But like, I get it. As someone who also grew up with traditionally masculine interests, it can be annoying to hear people say that you should try the Girl things for Girls. But I'm gonna be real here, you just straight up aren't going to get good female representation in your traditionally masculine interests unless you also show support for the traditionally feminine. Which leads into this addition to that post:

Like that's the thing about this. It's all well and good to say that boys deserve good female characters. They absolutely do and we should continue to advocate for such, but that sentiment rings so hollow when those good female characters already exist and y'all just don't want to touch them. I get that you don't want good rep for some random series, you want it for Naruto, for One Piece, for Demon Slayer. But I am stressing so much that the reason shoujo fans are so insistent that you try these other series out is because that's how you show that you want it.

Because again, it's perfectly acceptable to clamor for good rep in the series you already love, but by consuming nothing but shows/manga made for men, by men, with majority male casts, you are telling them that that's what you want.

A caveat: I'm not pointing at you the reader or OP specifically and saying "it's YOUR 🫵 fault shounen has poorly written women because you haven't read Fruits Basket," because it's obviously more complicated than just pure numbers. But it's frustrating to see people plead for y'all to diversify your reading portfolio only to get met with the brick wall non-solution of "well boys deserve good female characters too you know!!"

Like yeah! They do! We never said they didn't! But all saying that has done is plop us right back to where we started. What am I supposed to do with that? What am I supposed to do with any of this? As great as it would be for MHA to suddenly start treating it's female characters better, we both know that isn't happening. You gave us a problem and we're trying to offer a solution. So why are we the bad guys here just because you have preconceived notions of what shoujo is like compared to shounen?

And to add another caveat, it's ok to not like shoujosei stories people recommend! You don't have to like Basara or Yona or OHSHC or any other that you may have tried and dropped. I don't want it to sound like I'm guilt tripping people into being ashamed for not enjoying stuff they don't enjoy, but 9 times out of 10 the people pushing back with that kind of attitude haven't even tried. How do you even know you won't like the series we recommend if you don't even care enough to know that they aren't all one genre?

And I guess that's it. Like, at the end of the day you can do whatever you want, I just wanted to put my frustrations out there. Which is why I screenshotted this instead of rbing OP. I'm sure they want a lengthy argument just as much as I do (not at all).

[twocrabcake]

alright here’s the deal

i’m gonna make a percentage of how many trap victims/related persons survive

wish me luck this is gonna be tedious 🫡

it’s been an hour or two since i wrote that lol i got busy

idk i’m starting when its like 12am????

survived: iiiiiiiiii

not: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special (survived): iiiiiii

special (not): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special is either 1 the game was rigged or 2 they beat the game but died some other related way (ex: adam) 3 or if it was up to somebody else to save you as part of their game (ex: eric matthews, like a lot of them actually)

special good is when it was rigged/something was against them or different but they still beat it. hold on hold up i’m looking for an example rn. ok the secretary lady deborah or something she was in a trap out of her control but she survived.

(timing these for some reason) 1:12 am

dude idk where to put matthews bc his first game was a fluke and he survived but he was also like saved? idk man i’ll think about it (i put him in special died OH GOD NO LOOK AT NOTES)

i can’t put my headcanons/theory’s in here okay cowabummer dude (i have to put adam in dead i’m sorry ok)

1:20 (^im realizing now a shit ton of these fall into the special category whoopsies maybe i got too specific)

1:28 aw dude the fatal 5 are gonna suckkkk bc they’re all working together and linked and connected and shit fhhhghh

1:33 okay dude the steam lady is difficult bc the first half was a special but the last wasn’t. fuck it im just gonna say she could have survived the burns herself

1:40 can’t decide if the first and rebooted games from jigsaw should be put in together or if they should be separate. i just finished i smoked an entire bowl and i am trying my best here ok

1:50 the train guys is rigged they don’t explicitly say it but there’s no way

1:58 alright. fucking finally. that experience was just a downward spiral haha get it bc i hate that movie. also hate jigsaw the movie jigsaw. this was very unpleasant once i’m done with this shit i’m gonna fall asleep to saw 5 or smthn.

2:02 i have to use a counter online bc i’m too tired to count all those little i bitches

2:06 the fruits of my labor. my creation. behold

Pie chart

there we fucking go. a ratio. OH MY GOD THEY FUCKING SEPARATED THE 2 DEADS IM GONNA KILL. YOU. YOU WILL BE BOILED.

oh thank god

ok so there it is. the ratio of victims that survived and victims who’ve perished in jigsaws traps. you don’t know how much footage i’ve skimmed through. 1 like=1 ass kicking for to me because what was i thinking

me laying down in bed after this ↓

WAIT NO I FORGOT TO INCLUDE FUCKING ERIC MATTHEWS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

2:18 ok here it is. the real true official one.

sorry for all that. thank you for accompanying me on this task. i did not have fun. except when i was watching 1-3d but then after that it sucked. 1-3d even took up almost all of the view time but the last bits were so unpleasant it threw that all out the window. gonna go watch one of the original saw movies. you can tell saw x will be good bc it has saw in the name. the title. oh my god oh god i’m realizing i forgot people. i think i forgot bobby. what the hell man screw this i’m going to sleep. i’ll deal with it when i wake up and wonder what the fuck i was on last night. thank you for joining me on this journey of a mental breakdown everybody. a mental spiral, even, if you will. i’m imagining cheesy ending scene music like the character/actor is thanking the audience. signing, logging off at 2:34 am. goodnight everyone.

[toestalucia]

Vania: Mommy… You're watching, right? Are you happy too? Choice: She is, no doubt.

critical damage. but the fate ep parent hell didnt end there, i am so sorry for reading petras so late cuz hellooo?!?!?

Petra: (If the true Andras is somewhere in the Abyssal Forest, then that's also where Mother's journey would have ended. Will she be there? What would I even say to her? Should I ask her why she abandoned me? Or should I… No, I can't think about that now. I have to concentrate on stopping Andras.)

Karla: I have regrets. There are many things that I still want to do. That I was not able to be a mother to Petra hurts most of all. More than anything else, I wanted to be there to see her grow up…

Petra: It's not fair… Saying goodbye like this… How am I supposed to stay angry at you?

the (captain) io petra club of parents who left them to do something rly cool(save ppl). the added fact that with vanias situation where gran doesnt have any memory of their mother & what walfrid shared was very vauge and doesn't know either if their mom is dead or alive (rising hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha). also last years holiday seasonal with yaia & her mother.......like i truly think that its a dialogue option that becomes a lot more personal from captain, because even if gran has no knowledge about their mom & thus mentions her a lot less / doesn't have the same type of loneliness about her as they do with their dad, it's still pretty clear that they were curious as a kid & wondered what was up with their family. so i feel its very..............im sure she's watching, because thats what im hoping for my mom too. yknow.

as for petra that section felt terrible cuz. like i KNEW it was there, i knew about petras lore. i knew she was in a similar situation as captain & io. but having her voice it like this..........'should i ask her why she abandoned me' LIKEEEEEEEEEE....that epic scene in no rain no rainbow that they reused for and you (i think it was????) with captain crying & being comforted by vyrn with very similar questions. the anime s2 too. ugh.....u better keep dad alive. makes act3 such a heartache too since they fell to the edgelands as dad left, found out estalucias real name, found out repti had known dad & that? the last thing anyone has seen of dad is very likely him standing in front of the omnipotent(s clone) ?????? which makes me so damn dizzy in consideration of dad arriving at zinkenstill alone with captain & mom (&dads) position with bahamut. going to estalucia.....dad........ yeah my dad is at this fabled island oh no he met a being whose radiance blinded repti & even seeing it from the mask hurt hailaks eyes is he ok we dont know we can just push forward oh no the sky is broken. LIKEEEEEE ???? not to mention seed of redemption (which IS set after/around edgelnads right........i heard water lecias fate eps reference some stuff......which EVEN MORE makes sense of captains reaction of running away like they JUST missed their own dad & met mika&shitori who dad was telling stories to and whatnot + finding out either before or after whats actually up with their family. like the emotions are in SHAMBLES during that. adding on borrowing/using the omnipotents power during heart of the sun like. can i. can we. ???????????? do u get me. desperately holding onto anything that lets them be closer to their dad, even if it the logic doesnt make sense.

'how am i supposed to stay angry at you' petra im gonna be ill. i love you so much. desperately need a 'left behind by our parents' login story. ill read the lvl100 fate tmrw i cant deal with this rn<//3

in grans case especially & how i write them i think the 'i understand that my parents are likely doing something very very important' and 'i wish they werent/i wish they choose me instead' are sooooo messy..............lov things like that. love petras dialogue. love how gran can understand her wholeheartedly in that moment, even if she doesnt speak of it.

[fairy25]

I'm not joking how am I supposed to continue living as a woman who has suffered serious trauma? I dont know what to do anymore.

I do not want to live (not a threat, just a fact. I am not in danger.) I don't know how I can go about my life when I am scared of men. Half of the people on the planet. I have been jobless for 3 years living with parents because I'm scared to be trapped in a confined space with male strangers again. In my last job, I was sexually harassed, touched, stared at, grabbed, threatened, and followed by male coworkers. It was a minimum wage BAKERY job. You'd think that would be an innocent place to work. I wore a hairnet, had hairy legs, and talked about my boyfriend at the time. and I still got harassed and they wouldn't stop even when i would talk to HR. When I told my ex-boyfriend I was raped he said I deserved it. I'm thinking maybe it's me who is wrong and maybe I just should somehow turn off my brain and let it all happen since I feel like I'm screaming and nobody even notices???

I genuinely don't want to live in the world anymore I'm just tired I wish I was a little girl again and I just want to play with my toys but i can't because im trapped in a 26 year old woman.

Sorry for ranting on christmas. I'm just having a bad day. I hope you had a good Christmas.

baby i would seriously recommend you find a female trauma therapist you feel comfortable with and commit to therapy once a week for at least a year. i would also recommend talking to a psychiatrist or even your primary care doctor if you feel comfortable to discuss getting on some anti-anxiety medication. i personally take propranolol & mirtazapine for anxiety (and migraines).

i know it feels endless right now (i have been there and i’m so so sorry you’re stuck in this dark place rn) but it is possible for things to get better, and for you to lead a “normal” life. i am rooting for you and i want to say your feelings are completely valid. i’m so sorry this is the state of the world. i’m so sorry that you’re unable to ignore the fear you feel, which is very real and very challenging to overcome. but you can overcome it. that doesn’t mean you have to be around men—i work fully remotely and the only men i talk to regularly are gay, old friends, or married to my friends/relatives.

merry xmas to you angel. i hope 2024 brings you more peace than this year. even if you don’t feel like it’s going to get better, please just keep going. sometimes progress is so gradual we don’t even realize it’s happening. sometimes it’s ok to distract yourself and take breaks from the real world. but keep going. if not for you, for other women. we need each other if we’re ever going to create a world where women don’t feel terrified just existing.

[yuri-is-online]

Just finished the Jabberwock chapter.... there's so many questions (and possible theories) but rn I just wanted to talk about how Hyde mentioned the ghouls who were worried about MC - for Vagastrom, in jpn he specifically says "a certain someone from Vagastrom" rather than "one or two" and I'm willing to bet it's definitely Sho, since Hyde is the one mentioning it, and soon after he says he wasn't supposed to say that, I can imagine Sho giving him the stink eye to not let anyone know about it lol. Also right after this I got a campus event where Sho almost runs over MC on his bike because she wasn't looking where she was going while watching out for some croc anomalies(?) and he gets mad (worried) telling her what's the point if she's dead and points out where she has to keep an eye out on. I love him Your Honor....

We don't know too much about Hyde yet, but from that last conversation I wonder if having his own younger brother be a ghoul contributed in his empathy towards them ("in the end they're just young boys on the inside") or if he always felt that way. I wonder why exactly he wants humans and anomalies to get along, because while the idea itself might sound nice and peaceful, at the same time it sounds like something a villain with "good intentions" would say too lol. Hyde final boss?

Also rip MC who has to deal with Taiga next chapter lol. After fun times with the Jabberwock kids it's back to treading on thin ice (or glass shards in this case)

Cleaning out all the TDB asks before the new chapter drops at 1 am my time (_ _ )⊹ ࣪ ˖ I am so tired friends

Hyde vs Crowley, who is more likely to be a final boss. My money is on Crowley but Hyde do be looking like Gojo and we all know how my girl felt about the school board.

I swear we must have the same game anon because I literally had just read that school moment before you sent this ask. MC is trying to be aware of zipper crocs, which as a side note: each of the boys cards has a corresponding warding card of the same rarity. The higher rarity warding cards seem to be based off of moments in the story or aspects unique to the character while the SR and R cards are based off anomalous creatures. You get the corresponding SR warding card for your first boy in that joke of a pull they have you do in the tutorial, and the Zipper Croc is Tohma's.

The way Sho speaks to her in that moment (╥﹏╥) the way he's so concerned. Angry even that she's not taking care of herself, because "what good will that excuse be if you die?" I love him so much. And because of that I keep thinking about how guilty he has got to feel about almost letting her die in Book 2. You think he wakes up in the middle of the night to stare at his ceiling because he's thinking about how her mangled body would look staring up at him in judgement if he had just gone along with Leo's plan a little bit more than he did? Do you think that he's eventually going to snap if he keeps hearing Leo talk about MC like she's expendable because the longer he spends time with her the more real she becomes to him? You ever think about Sho looking at her while she's occupied with something else and not paying attention to him and realizing that his time with her has a very real time limit and that she's going to die in a year, however much of which has already passed?

You ever think about an MC who maybe jokes off offhandedly about helping him out now since she won't always be around and him loosing it just a bit because he doesn't want to even think about that even a little. Because I have been oh have I been

I wasn't expecting to like Hyde as much as I do. Don't get me wrong he seems extremely irresponsible, but he clearly loves his brother and his students, which makes him at least ok in my book. If I had to guess I would say Sho being a ghoul probably does have something to do with him being more understanding of the ghouls and their predicament. He has a unique insight into it that the other professors don't, but it could also be that he wants anomalies and humans to get along because through his own research he's seen how important anomalous creatures like the Kraken are to the world and he wants people to have a more respectful attitude towards that. I can't see him doing anything to harm Sho, so if the school ends up being the bad guy I think he'll be our ally.

Well not physically harm anyway... Oooooooh "a certain someone from Vagastrom" that was so fucking Sho. And Hyde so said that to be cheeky about it because he thinks it's cute that his little brother has got a little crush ¬‿¬ no it's ok Shohei, big brother won't tell! He pinky swears! Hyde would be such an annoyingly supportive wing man for his little brother if he'd just let him, if Sho has any classes he shares with the MC he so ends up assigned to a group with her on "accident" more than once. It makes a degree of sense too, I think Alan probably would trust that everything is all right and if it's note he will hear about it, if not from the school than from Tohma. Leo probably thought the whole thing was MC's fault anyway but Sho? He had to be so worried about MC and feel so trapped. It's not like he was going to get permission from Alan to go looking for her, and with Leo being Leo it's not like he really had anyone to turn to about his worries but Hyde, who was definitely supposed to be sworn to secrecy.

I am actually more worried about Romeo and Ritsu at this point than Taiga. Like don't get me wrong, that boy ain't right but I can handle someone being a bit homicidal.

Ritsu is easily the cuntiest out of the freshmen about MC at the intro ceremony and Romeo is willing to take MC in for the bounty dead or alive. I feel like this whole book is a bit of a trip, MC about to be kidnapped by a mob boss fr

[nitazenes]

even if things “aren’t as they seem”

they should be treated with the same level of seriousness

and how is he supposed to be the one to judge when he doesn’t want to get to know how your system functions?

when we told our therapist we have DID the first thing she’s done was get to learn about us and how we function

how can he help when he’s so disinterested? it’s so strange and honestly a bit creepy

well like (tw ramcoa and programming mentions below, also brief animal death mention)

you in no way have to read everything ive said below bc i really went on a rant here but tl;dr you're totally right. Even if it was something else, it still clearly effects me and i need treatment for it. Honestly youre not the first one to call him a creep --- rant starts here --- Not to expose too much but I have spoken to a fellow RAMCOA survivor and i dont really know anything re: programming and the point of it or how it even works

But i sat down and verbatim, almost word for word recited two different things that had happened to us that were *textbook* RAMCOA. The fact I parroted what happened to me without even knowing programming terms and definitions just, takes away all skepticism i have. And the fact that a survivor and I experienced ALMOST the exact same programming, literally just going back and forth about what happened. There's no fucking WAY i just made that up.

I avoid reading stuff about programming bc my own targets therapeutic language, if I start reading about it, very quickly we begin to spin, get motion sick, scatter, or rapid switch.

And true. even if it wasnt what it seemed (which it def was RAMCOA) but lets just say its not what it seemed, it still seems very real to me, and effects me severely. That means it's still a problem that should be addressed the same way you would address any RAMCOA survivor.

The fact he wont listen means he's not going to catch on if i start recycling or having a coded trigger be set off. I even had a programmed response to him once already where a program triggered from some hand gesture he made and I was completely out-- but it had me on my knees in front of my therapist trying to get his belt off. Thankfully in that situation he actually responded appropriately and backed up, helped me up and walked me back to my chair and said "You dont have to do that for me to help you" thats the ONE TIME ive gotten the care I want out of him. that was 8 years ago. i have displayed my programming directly in his face. Many times at this point. and at the time i didnt even know why i did that and i was so ashamed and embarrassed and crying and he was just like. "it's ok"

he shows no interest in learning who my alters are, what they do, what jobs they perform, my system map (very complex and layered with different subsystems) this dude has to know i am programmed like i said in some post somewhere, i killed a rattle snake BY MYSELF at 8 years old bc it was threatening our chickens, in fact i was so confident that i didnt even have snake boots on (boots that snake bites cannot penetrate) we lived in rattle snake central and yet as an 8 year old i drove a shovel into that snake and killed it.

i dont think people realize how young that is to be killing an animal, for ANY reason. had my parents any care for me, they would have made sure I had my boots on, and they would have monitored me while in the backyard, i killed the snake and had to go get my dad on the other side of the house that a snake was going after the chickens but i dealt with it and the most he said was "good job, wear your boots next time"

like ik rn im trauma dumping on this post but even if things weren't what they seemed, why do i have a scar with two dots visible from having a stun gun jammed into my ribs as a kid, That scar didnt come from nowhere. I might not have known what it was but i took my own stun gun (it was similar to the one id been attacked with) and the prongs line up exactly with the dots. At this point, esp given that i remembered the institution i went to, i just want someone to wholly believe me.

If i said one day

"it was all a lie. i made it up. im not mentally ill, ive just lived the life of someone with a disorder i dont have"

my family would take that as gospel. they would much rather believe that i lied my whole fucking life, than me calling out the fact that I was surrounded by evangelicals and fundamentalist christians most of my childhood who were weird and malicious towards me.

i finally opened up to my therapist about my fear of surveillance last week, that these days, anytime youre outside youre on some camera. and im afraid of audio bugs. So much that i carry a device that causes horrid feedback to whoever is listening on the other end of a radio, its like a signal jammer. he goes "What makes you think youre so unique that the government or whomever is watching you"

and i finally just shut off and said "i cant tell you" its more damaging for me to go into these therapy sessions feeling like i need to convince my therapist that this was real.

He may have shown interest in my system rediscovery for about the first year i saw him. after that he doesnt even ask how my alters are doing, always expects it to be me (Rey) at the front at all times and he doesnt even know how my system functions, i dont even think he knows theres a hierarchy in my system-- so how can he help me if he doesnt care or know what i am truly dealing with.

His mind is still in the 70's when MPD was a thing.

I can't even talk to him about my sexuality or gender

ive never had someone to talk to about how I feel gender-wise (i used to identify as male, but now identify as Agender bc really, i dont fit in with most binary terms) he calls me she/her and i can forgive an old man for not using they/them/xe/xem pronouns for us but like. I also used to define myself as asexual but realized im more bi/pan than i thought and im not repulsed anymore. Mostly. but the most he said was "how does it feel to admit youre not asexual" i explained how it was new to me. that was the end of the subject.

What about the fact that i have cis, trans, and intersex alters all over the board? how do i help them with their dysphoria? I dunno!!

my aunt has been paying out of pocket for the past 8 years for his treatment where i feel like after 3 years, he'd gotten tired of me. Lost interest. most of his clients are older than me and they seem to have great relationships with him. I guess old people just get along with fellow old people.

[lostfracturess]

i’ve got my work laptop out and my phone in hand to live react to this chapter 😼

omg i kneww it was the fkn student he punched. satoru’s so sweet to not want to drag her into a courtcase though.

kafka 😩🫶🏼💕 ive been on such a kafka kick lately omg (not so much reading his actual works but looking at kafka tumblr quotes 😔 i feel motivated to actually read his works now) also the way he sees her?? we’re so beautiful to him 🤭

“what a fucked up way to describe it. a child, small and defenseless against an unyielding force. where was the justice in that?”

☹️☹️☹️ ok i’m teared up. wtf.

“for all her strength and boldness, there was this fragile core to her. one that the world, am i, seemed intent on bruising.”

😩🤚🏼 i feel for reader fr she can do no wronggg in my eyes omg i can FEEL the stress of all this fkn research & trials gone wrong omg. she’s such an empath and it’s takin a toll on my girl over here

OHMYGOSHHH she saw the lawyer papers plsss higurama you had one job 😓 also i know im supposed to hate how secretive n stubborn he is but something ab his habit of shutting reader up w kisses 😩🤚🏼 i like my men toxic like that LMFAO

yaga laying innnn on him omg i love the consequences of his actions catching up to him. the forbidden romance is forbidden romancinggg. THE ETHICS COMMITTEE….hmm i mean considering the power dynamic i think satoru would def be the one to take the brunt of accusation if they were caught 🤔 i really wonder if reader would receive as heavy of a fall from grace as he would

omg the elevator stuck scene 🫣 PLS HE CONSIDERS FUCKING HER IN THE ELEVATOR!!?? IM SCREAMING. also they need to stop talking ab thisss in the elevator omg ppl might be listening or recording 😔 where is higurama w the legal counsel.

i cant tell if its my iced coffee giving me palpitations rn or if its your fucking writing (most likely latter). i looove how theyre resolved to try n keep each other tho :”) despite facing the things going on rn.

sheesh those lab results lmao that patient’s liver gotta be fucked 🤣 Oh WHAT ITS SATORU’s LIVER 😨 NOOO.

aw a signed kafka book?!? 😩🤚🏼 lord…

im on the basketball scene and ugggh first of all basketball satoru?!?! NEED. just imagining his arm muscles flexing while he’s shootin a shot 😩 also he’s sooo whipped for her oh my god. need a man who loves this deeply.

OHY MY GOD A SPARE TO HIS APARTMENT ITS SO REAL. ITS ALL FEELING SO REAL RN. SCREAMING. TRYING SO FKN HARD TO HIDE THE SMILE ON MY FACE RN.

oh god i cant ice ant i cant the hydropmorphone this sshift in energy i cant. to the bathroom for my ten min i go because i alr know imma need to scream for this 😭😭😭

NO WAAAYYY HE’s DOIN DRUGSS OFF OF HER IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND. OH MY GOD IM CLUTCHING MY PEARLS RN. OVER SUGURU’s FUCKING DESK?!????

OH. MY. GOD. SATORU IS THE FUCKING DEVIL. HE’s THE DEVIL. I……….I JUST GOT TO THE END. I COULD DEADASS SCREAM RN. THE— THE GUMPTION. THE GALL?!?!? TO LICK HIS FUCKING FINGERS.

i…….🧍🏻‍♀️i’m literally shaking. im SHAKING like IM the one w a panic attack or withdrawal rn. you ate this chapter up. you ate this chapter ALL the way fucking up and i could cry rn. no words. pheewww AND IM SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON W MY DAY AFTER THIS?!????!

fuck.

girl you make me cry with your comments! 😭❤️ yes, satoru is such a sweetheart for dealing with the lawsuit with money that she wouldn't have to go to court, even if that means he would have to swallow that bitter pill. green flag!!

and yes, pls pls read kafka! there are a lot of short books and stories of him that are just like a four hour read but so worth it, can't recommend that enough!!

OHMYGOSHHH she saw the lawyer papers plsss higurama you had one job

higurma must have done it on purpose i'm so sure!! like i wrote it, but still am not quite convinced it was a coincidence ahhh! and him shutting her up with kisses is EVERYTHING. bit toxic okay, but EVERYTHING.

the forbidden romance is forbidden romancinggg.

yes, the forbidden romance is catching up to them, how would have thought. like satoru was not even trying to hide it that much, but now he's surprised?? he's so stupid.

PLS HE CONSIDERS FUCKING HER IN THE ELEVATOR!!?? IM SCREAMING.

yeeeessss!! he really considered it a split second as he knows that will work quite good to shut her up ahaha he's so miserable with talking and feelings. but he sure knows what he's good at and how to use that. 🌚🌚

im on the basketball scene and ugggh first of all basketball satoru?!?! NEED. just imagining his arm muscles flexing while he’s shootin a shot

yes!!! i want to rewrite this scene out of reader pov just to be able to describe a bit of how this mf handsome man looked in this scene for us to please ahhhh.

also he’s sooo whipped for her oh my god. need a man who loves this deeply.

he's down bad for her and this will be his undoing. but yes, everyone deserves a man how's on his knees for his girl!!!

NO WAAAYYY HE’s DOIN DRUGSS OFF OF HER IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND.

he's so fkn feral omg, like he really got some nerves doing that aahhhhh. also over suguru's desk ahahah. still he could lick every drug he wants from my body at any time ngl.

I COULD DEADASS SCREAM RN. THE— THE GUMPTION. THE GALL?!?!? TO LICK HIS FUCKING FINGERS.

HE HAS NO SHAME!!! this man is so unhinged and i loved every second writing him like that. he maybe is about to lose his mind but he's still serving while going insane!!

thank you so so much for your comments on this chapter, is was so funny to see your reaction while reading!!! thank you so so much for your support and taking your time to write this (also on your rec on the story??? reposting this in a minute), wishing you nothing but the best! 🥲🫶🫶

[xazz]

Ok so you reblogged this:

So you have no one to blame but yourself for all the dumb questions I'm about to ask you.

1) They Were Giants

• Are you planning to continue this fic?

• What inspired you to write it? How did your original idea differ from what you ended up going with in the first chapter (if it differed at all in the first place)?

• Were there any bits that you really liked but had to cut due to pacing/them not fitting the plot?

• Is there anything you can tell us about where you could see the characters going in the future without spoiling the story (if you plan to keep on writing it, that is)?

2) The "Flocking Movement" series

• What inspired you to write this story, and how much planning did you do before writing it?

• Were you at any point surprised by the direction your story took?

• How would Lucy Prime react to Lucy 2.0 (idk what else to call them lol)? Had Lucy Prime been put in the position of Lucy 2.0, would her actions have differed in any significant way? (+ would she have been an Angel as well or is that just a Lucy 2.0 thing?)

• What does the world created by Desmond look like 100+ years in the future? Are any of the immortals still hanging around? Have more of them popped out? (big question, I know, but I am legit curious about what your answer will be)

• Had Daniel lived (while also being cured of whatever Vidic did to him) what would he have done?

• Some fun facts about Cain, Tiamat, Baldur or any of your other OCs?

• Could you see yourself ever returning to this timeline?

3) General writing questions

• Are there any new WIPs (Ac related or not) that you're really excited about right now? Can you tell us anything about them?

• Do you have any advice/words of encouragement for your fellow writers?

There's a bunch of 'would you write X again?' questions in here and. I do have prompts and requests open on @ahungeringknife. If you want more AU stuff you're more than welcome to ask so long as it's not 'more of this Au!' without any idea of what you want lol

1) They Were Giants

• Are you planning to continue this fic?

Eventually? Maybe? I have the ideas just not the desire to write it rn. Hyperfixation ran out. TWG has also mostly been written on commission.

• What inspired you to write it? How did your original idea differ from what you ended up going with in the first chapter (if it differed at all in the first place)?

I got a request for God!Altair with AltMal and I just went from there. I wrote the first chapter based on it and then I think someone paid for a second chapter so I wrote more. The first chapter is real different from the others because it was supposed to be a one shot. I had to make up Eagle to give Malik something to do lol. Again the second chapter was supposed to Be It and then someone paid for a third and I had to write more. So I tried to wrap up chapters as I go so there aren't dangling ends. Except for recently bc the last chapter or so I wrote for myself.

• Were there any bits that you really liked but had to cut due to pacing/them not fitting the plot?

No really? The parts I'd change would be drawing out the Tarazed thing a bit more. Having him and his priests all die in one chapter was very fast. I'd probably do some sort of red herring Malik thinks he's killed the priests and then building up to killing Tarazed.

• Is there anything you can tell us about where you could see the characters going in the future without spoiling the story (if you plan to keep on writing it, that is)?

Malik leaves Eagle to find out what's 'wrong' with Altair. He meets a bunch more stars and learns that they aren't the only gods. Desmond gets to come with and maybe Lucy? I hadn't planned her and then she popped up.

2) The "Flocking Movement" series

• What inspired you to write this story, and how much planning did you do before writing it?

Kinkmeme on LJ prompt was something like 'Desmond meets Ezio in Montergioni'. Or maybe it was 'Desmond meets ancestors for real'? And then I just went insane. Very little planning happened in the first story but I very meticulously planned 17th, Triad, and TT.

• Were you at any point surprised by the direction your story took?

Jacob was a surprise. So was Tommy. Fan fave Baldur and Cain were also surprises.

• How would Lucy Prime react to Lucy 2.0 (idk what else to call them lol)? Had Lucy Prime been put in the position of Lucy 2.0, would her actions have differed in any significant way? (+ would she have been an Angel as well or is that just a Lucy 2.0 thing?)

Prime would have been disgusted by L2. Not because L2 is disgusting but because of what the Proeathans did. Like the disgust is not at L2, it's what they did to her. But also big 'I've only had synth me for 2 days and if anything happened to her I'd kill all of your and then myself'. L2 was 'programmed' to want Desmond. Prime I think just liked him because they were stuck together and in a terrible situation but once out of it wouldn't have stayed with him. So stuff L2 does that revolve around her feelings for Desmond Prime wouldn't have. Idk what Prime would do if put in the situation *thinky face* She'd probably work with the Assassins properly though. They'd probably meet her when they run into... Andrew. Right Desmond's dad is Andrew in that fic XD I almost wrote William. Prime would have been an angel but not in the same way. Tommy is a watered down version of Desmond. Prime would be a watered down version of L2. L2's biggest plus is proeathan stuff doesn't register as 'human' which is why she can get past their security, Prime is a person/human so does.

• What does the world created by Desmond look like 100+ years in the future? Are any of the immortals still hanging around? Have more of them popped out? (big question, I know, but I am legit curious about what your answer will be)

I have a half finished fic for Legacy that covers that. I just didn't think it turned out very good lol. Altair and Micheal stick around the most. Micheal is very invested in being a grandpa to all of Desmond's kids. Desmond's life gives Altair some purpose and structure. Also Jacob stays in Atlantis. Once Tommy dies Jake and Altair get back together. Cain and Ezio are bother wanderers. Cain 100% starts a fucking cult about himself.

• Had Daniel lived (while also being cured of whatever Vidic did to him) what would he have done?

idk. He doesn't live. I never thought about it lol. There is no timeline where Daniel lives. Ubisoft tortured him enough in canon he gets to fucking rest.

• Some fun facts about Cain, Tiamat, Baldur or any of your other OCs?

Cain's human half is from Turkmenistan. Or that's what Cain says and I'm not about to argue with him. Baldur is trans 👏👏Just in case there was any confusion. She's mtf. She and Thor end up adopting a kid. Tiamat becomes the AI that oversees Atlantis and the Embrace when she eventually dies. She allows Desmond to do that to her so long as she maintains complete control. You never meet her but Desmond and Lucy have a daughter named Saturn and she IS A MENACE. Tiamat loves her. Kaley would have been a stronger pyromancer than John or Desmond.

• Could you see yourself ever returning to this timeline?

I think about it from time to time. But like with TWG just... hyperfixation isn't there. If people prompted for it maybe? I just have written most of what I want for the AU.

3) General writing questions

• Are there any new WIPs (Ac related or not) that you're really excited about right now? Can you tell us anything about them?

There's 2 Destiny AU ideas I have that I'm just *vibrates* about. But there's no 'story' only vibes and setting atm. As for new WIPs? Not really? And always my constant original fantasy WIP.

• Do you have any advice/words of encouragement for your fellow writers?

The mind editor is the thief of joy. Do not let the editor in your head ruin your fucking art.

If you don't feel like your writer's block is going away and you've rested and gone fallow here's the trick they don't tell you; sit down and write through it. It will probably be painful. You probably won't like it. But if your fields are fallow and you feel like they've rested long enough sometimes you have to till the dirt yourself by hand.

In a positive way; no one cares. No one really cares if you make a continuity error, or if you don't have the exact facts right on something, if your headcanon changes mid story. In the 14ish years I've been writing fanfic no one has ever said to me 'um actually you're not right about minor X fact'. I've had people who can't read or understand hyperbole but no one is standing around fact checking you on what you're writing. It's fine. No one cares. If you can't find the exact stat you want fuck it make it up. No one cares enough to check. I say that as a writer and a reader. I'm not out here fact checking someone. Even if I know the information is wrong. Who cares? It's a fanfic.

m/f f/f is just as good and valid as m/m and you should write more of it