#ok the readmore didnt work. never mind.

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 3: sketch 1

ed note from the future: this got long. its going mostly under a readmore for everyone's sake. and i didnt even finish sketching, just trying to explain what is going through my mind while trying to sketch. look, if i write down my process in exhausting detail people will realize im completely insane. this is a net benefit to anyone trying to interact with me in the future who thinks i can be reasoned with. community service. thank you for allowing me to post this shit lol

hmmm. giving up on the first few panels for right now. here's what i'm thinking about as i sketch this:

too many of my panels were talking heads or constantly relied on one point perspective. i have been trying to work against this for a while with mixed results. sometimes the result is so bad i have to scrap what i did and start over but sometimes it's "good enough for TV"* and i hit publish on it. no risks, no reward after all. can't get better if you don't try.

in this first panel, i have two people having a back and forth conversation through a weird magic hole in the floor/wall. maxine is laying on a couch with hole right above her head. homestar runner will demonstrate what i mean:

however, there are logistical problems with maxine that homestar runner doesnt have. maxine's right shoulder is dislocated, so she can't lay on that side, or any side that would put pressure on the joint. im realizing i don't actually know what position would be most comfortable in her situation or how she would instinctually arrange her body to avoid pain. i start looking up videos from physical therapists on how they recommend patients sleep for some ideas.

also i start looking up what women look like sleeping on couches. how does the human body fold up. because this isn't it.

anyway, this was my first effort with the first panels.

for reference, the last page ends like this:

the top left of the sketch would have been the hopi clown back on the shelf with the "camera" tilting above it to reveal maxine. while this keeps the relevant object from the previous page in frame as a piece of connective tissue between updates....i'm struggling to fit the second character in. the one talking from the hole. maybe there's still hope for this? it's not terrible. initially i nuked it but maybe i can make this work.

fuck! she needs a pillow or two to make this work. this video is right, that DOES look naturally comfortable compared to the standard fetal position that would pull the affected shoulder inward. i didn't draw any pillows into the stupid establishing shot of the office bc its not the kind of couch you are expected to sleep on!!! this is a man's business office!!! i thought i was so smart!!

basically every couch comes with decorative pillows though, and the shot of the room didn't include the wall the "camera" was up against. my 2-point perspective failure might have paid off here lol. if i can establish that the second character is talking through the hole, he can use his rayman hands to reach across the room and get the pillow for her. it can be part of his personal campaign to show maxine he means her no immediate harm. the pillows were just out of frame. lurking. ok let's try it again. uhhhh after i eat some lunch

---

*my friend kelly had an anecdote from working in animation that im going to retell badly from memory. her boss would take the work she labored over to meet by deadline and would laugh at it, saying "ah, its terrible! but good enough for TV". and while extremely mean, he had a salient point: it never has to be perfect. it just needs to be good enough to be seen. sometimes i seriously think about this anecdote when im dissatisfied with my own art. it's bad. but it's good enough for tv.

[the-l-spacer]

I made a Lloydven playlist!!

There’s sooo many musical theatre songs in here but like Yeah. Thank you to everyone in NADS who helped to suggest songs!! If you hit ‘read more’, I talk about what moment in canon I associate each song with. Hope you enjoy listening :3

A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into (Be More Chill) - So it all starts with David becoming Raven, and Lloyd is just watching like :3c

Blank Space (Postmodern Jukebox) - And Raven reciprocates his feelings! This is how his confession to Lloyd goes in his head,

Best Worst Mistake (If/Then) - and this is how it goes in reality.

Summer Nights (Grease) - Aaaand we’re in musical love song zone. Obligatory Storytime Theatre reference! (CW: references to possible non-con scenarios)

All I’ve Ever Known (Hadestown) - The two letting their guards down, letting themselves love each other

Suddenly Seymour (Little Shop of Horrors) - SUUDENLY RAAAVEN

The Candy Man (Sammy David Jr.) - You know what’s up ;D

The Cult of Dionysus (The Orion Experience) - Lloyd and Raven setting up the Second Playhouse and vibing wooooo

Dinner and Diatribes (Hozier) - We’re still in love song zone, but spicy.

Mad About You (Hooverphonic) - Getting darker. This takes place before the Second Posthuman War when Sarah manipulates Lloyd and Raven may be mad about him but he’s also Mad At Him.

NFWMB (Hozier) - The Second Posthuman War. Shit’s real, the two have had their disagreements about Sarah but when she hurts Raven, Lloyd sees red. 

In Our Bedroom After the War (Stars) - The War is over. They’re tired and hurting and they find comfort in each other but let’s face it they’re Not in a good place rn

Take Me or Leave Me (RENT) - The Fight.

ilomilo (Billie Eilish) - Raven is scared that Lloyd will leave him

Devil Throw Roses (Shayfer James) - Lloyd leaves.

The Silent (The Tragic Tantrum) - Obligatory Vampair series song, takes places as Lloyd and Raven find themselves truly separated. It ain’t pretty.

Don’t Make Me (MALINDA) - Songs 17, 18 and 19 follow Lloyd alone. In here, he’s tired of people failing him over and over, and well, becomes the bad guy

Villain (Stella Jung) - Lloyd in NARH

We’ll Meet Again (Vera Lynn) - After the events of NARH, Lloyd, having lost, just doesn’t have spite left in him. He just wants to see Raven again

Blasphemous Rumours (Dépêche Mode) - Songs 20-22 follow Raven on his own in the Carnival. Here he deals with his bitterness toward his situation (CW: the song explicitly mentions someone attempting suicide)

xanny (Billie Eilish) - Time passes, Raven becomes increasingly miserable and, well, the substance abuse doesn’t help, but it does make him feel better

Silence, A Stranger (The Arcadian Wild) - A lil softer to balance out the previous 2 songs. Raven’s isolation and loneliness.

Hey #3/Perfect For You - Reprise (Next To Normal) - The reunion.

Promises (Hadestown) - They made promises to each other and broke them, but now they’re together again and make new promises! I love Hadestown ;w;

Only Us (Dear Evan Hansen) - The sappy musical theatre love song. Lloyd and Raven decide to try and let go of past hurts to move on together

Absolute Lithops Effect (The Mountain Goats) - healing. Recovery. A little bit of tender mercy.

[palant1r]

I love hearing your opinion on every Ace Attorney character so hear take a trash man and a queen; Kristoph and Franziska Von Karma

OK OK OK OK I FINISHED AA4 LETS GOOO

tumblr ate my franziska thoughts and i dont wanna type them again but. i honestly didnt have much to say about her whereas i have SO MUCH to say about kristoph

(this got so long omg heres a readmore)

favorite thing about them: oh god i could go on about this guy for ages. he somehow became one of my favorite characters when i wasnt looking. i love how fuckin cryptic he is. one of my favorite things about the characters in ace attorney is that they really make you work to figure them out, kristoph most of all. i love how his calm, put-together exterior hides his Murderyness but also somehow completely jives with his motives for said murders. it really makes it feel like his actions are consistent with his character. like he's not revealed to be a completely different person than you thought he was, it was simply revealed exactly how deep his flaws run. AND the fact that so many of his flaws are the things he shares with klavier!!! their need for control, their constant projection of facades, their paranoia, their use of charisma and pleasantness to keep other peoples' guards down. the only difference is that klavier chooses to move forward, to embrace change.

least favorite thing about them: that he is apparently not in aa5 and aa6 at all. give me my skrunkly >:(

favorite line: GOD THIS ISN'T A CANON QUOTE BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THE FUCKIN. OBJECTION.LOL OF THE WERERALPH POST WHERE KRISTOPH ASKS IF ANYONE HAS THE FULL WEREWOLF IMAGE. also i cant remember the precise line but during the MASON investigation he says something about what it means to live a full life while in jail....i liked that. something about how it says so much about his character that he doesn't see his story as over even once he's been imprisoned for life.

brOTP: kristoph and apollo! in canon, i think their relationship never ventured beyond the strictly professional. but, as is evident from my stupid fake dating au and chess fic, i like to think about them developing a genuine friendship beyond that. i love the tension and complexity of, despite everything, kristoph being some kind of positive influence in apollo's life.

OTP: KRISNIX BAYBEEEEEEEEE this ship is SO GOOD. first of all it is absolutely canon it absolutely canon and i wont hear a word otherwise. the fucked up complexities of what their relationship would have looked like is so good to think about. especially because i think phoenix truly didn't know that kristoph couldn't be trusted until Zak's death, and kristoph genuinely had feelings for phoenix. also the memes are hilarious. krisnix memes are the funniest fucking jokes in the entire ace attorney fandom, except perhaps langworth memes. i do in fact have a playlist for this ship: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/27Y2uwmp1jlAZILLUsh32X?si=c109dc0ce1454461

also uh. otp part 2: for some reason i've been on a krispollo kick. just rotating it in my mind like it's in a microwave. something about it. compels me. i like to fuck up apollo justice's life in various interesting ways so perhaps this isn't so surprising. i have been rotating an au in my mind where kristoph falls harder than apollo does, i think that's an interesting dynamic. i love the idea of kristoph having a bleeding heart that he hides so well no one ever sees it

nOTP: kristoph/dahlia ig, it's the only kristoph ship i see besides krisnix and krispollo, which i support, and portstoph, which involves a character im not familiar with and also which im pretty sure is entirely a joke. while kristoph and dahlia are very similar on the surface, they are very different and i just feel like they wouldn't get along. they would try to kill each other and not in a way i find interesting or sexy

random headcanon: kristoph doesn't get the death penalty, with a combination of a plea deal, his charisma, and edgeworth's reforms. do i only headcanon this because i like the idea of kristoph being kept around in Bottom Storage? perhaps. also i think, though he doesn't admit it, he likes when his brother visits and wants to keep being a part of his life

WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE: kristoph raised klavier since he was 19 and klavier was 9, after both their parents died in a horrific accident. the brothers were both present. kristoph saw the whole thing. klavier did not. his brother covered his eyes with the same hand that bears the skull-shaped scar

unpopular opinion: kristoph is not like the other ace attorney villains, where when they drop the facade we learn that everything else positive in their life was a lie too. kristoph is not a monster. the way he acts is no more disconnected from the way he genuinely is than klavier. his actions do not result from being a "sociopath" or a "narcissist," and its ableist to say they do. kristoph genuinely has the capacity to care about people, only limited by the same flaws that caused him to kill people. he really did want apollo to learn from him and succeed. he genuinely cares about his brother and thinks he loves him, but his paranoid nature and sense of superiority lead him to look down on his brother in a way that sometimes borders on manipulation and abuse. he loved phoenix, dismissing what he did to him as justified. when he is revealed to be a murderer, the people who love him cannot just discard all the positive memories as part of the facade.

song i associate with them: Farewell Wanderlust by The Amazing Devil. it Hits.

Goodbye to all my darkness, there's nothing here but light/ Adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night/ This here is not make-up, it's a porcelain tomb /And this here is not singing, I'm just screaming in tune because /Farewell wanderlust, you've been ever so kind /You brought me through this darkness, but you left me here behind /And so long to the person you begged me to be /He's down, he's dead /Now take a good long look at what you've done to me

.....dare i say it? krispollo vibes

favorite picture of them: i know this is an Apollo Image but look at kristoph in the back j chilling. jacket off. waistcoat only. looking a bit.....sexy and ho—[vivian shoots me with a sniper rifle and i die]

[lunarlagomorph]

Ok this time i actually wrote out what i thought of tsukihime. Im readmoring both for spoilers and length

First off, kohaku's route: really incredible and the way it builds off hisui's route flips a lot of things that seemed innocent on your head, and makes you pay attention to the parts of the plot you already know to understand what Kohaku is really doing and feeling. A good example of this is when Kohaku cuts her finger while cooking and says she can just imagine her hand as a doll hand; in hisui's route this comes across as weird and having more to it, obviously, but knowing exactly what she means makes it a lot sadder to hear.

In general, I think that's one of Tsukihime's strengths you are essentially hearing the same story multiple times, but it manages to recontextualize everything each time and never gets too boring. Certainly there is the difference between the near and far side routes, as well as among the routes themselves, but even those have so many similarities due to shiki's (and SHIKI's) backstory, shiki's connection to the killer, etc. But the timing of the reveals, what shiki does and doesn't know, and a bunch of other things keep the same information feeling fresh, and really lets the game explore all sides of the characters relationships.

Though btw that does remind me why is roa just. Not in the second half? Did he not reincarnate as SHIKI in those? We see Arcueid is in town so one imagines she is here to kill roa. I mean she could just be here to kill the vampire serial killer (SHIKI) but if thats the case she does a real shit job lol. It wasnr that bothersome but it was a little weird to have zero explanation about a major change to backstory.

Anyways i think the near side routes were fine, and arcueid and ciel are both really interesting, fun characters (though i liked arcueid infinitely more) but they definitely lacked the emotional depth the far side routes had. Honestly i knew id like kohaku and hisui as much as i do but i didnt expect to grow to love Akiha as much as i did. It is unfortunate her character is a bit weighed down by nasu's incest fetish or whatever was up with that but pushing past the weird stuff that i think she ended up my favorite character.

And pushing past the weird stuff is like. Required to read tsukihime. Though i will say the sex scenes were very easy to skip thanks tk nasu having specific music for sex lol.

I think besides the weird stuff, though, Tsukihime's major flaw is just the weakness of its themes and symbolism. Which is fine; it more than makes up for that in terms of character depth as well as entertainment quality. But after reading umineko, for example (wow bringing up umineko who would have thought) i really took away a lot of meaning and it's still something i think about in terms of symbolism and themes to this day. The lessons Tsukihime teaches are "killing is bad" and "being nice and forgiving people is good" from what i could tell (though as i let it simmer in my brain i may changs my mind) and those are the same themes as like. Stevens university lol. Again it does a grest job bringing emotional depth to shiki's decision to choose kindness and fight against his nanaya blood or what-not, it just didnt feel like i walked away a changed person like with umineko and similar works. All this does is stops it from being my favorite thing ever, but it was still really enjoyable. I don't do numeric ratings but i think id put this somewhere above steins;gate, and then lowered a bit to account for the fact that nasu was way too horny and way too weird. Which btw i loved steins gate so that means i really loved tsukihime.

Random other thoughtz:

Route ranking:

Hisui=Kohaku > Akiha > Arcueid > Ciel

Character Ranking:

Akiha > Arcueid > Hisui > Kohaku > Ciel >>> inui > yumizuka > nvnsqr chaos > SHIKI > roa(i guess).

This makes me feel mean ranking kohaku so low but honestly all of the route characters were incredible so its not that i didnt like her.

Oh right what the hell was up with sensei i thought shed be a part of the plot. Idk if its sequel bait or what but i was a little annoyed lol.

Ok i think thats it. Im sure no one read this lol but if u did thx

[bucephaly]

I would send you character asks but I don't know em. can you maybe write some introductions for a couple so I got something to go on?

Sure! Gunna stick it under a readmore

Kiro and Yara are from my for fun paleolithic headworld. Yara is a neandertal, kiro is an anatomically modern human spirit clay headed type person. Not gunna go in depth about it lmao. They're a part of a foraging band, just livin life. The world is like ours, diverged about 50,000 years ago, but theres like a certain level of ambient magic / spirits and shit.

Brand-zaw is my Morrowind character. He's an argonian, nerevarine, has Issues. Julans his friend / boyfriend at some point. (Julan isn't mine, he's from a companion mod) Zaw is plagued by visions and haunted by a deer thing, but he's a nice dude even though i tend to draw him with resting bitch face. He's a healer / alchemist and he fights with a quarterstaff or sometimes a hammer.

Hides-in-Sunlight is my Oblivion character, he's a Sarpa argonian from the depths of black marsh, was kinda brought to cyrodiil as a prisoner. He doesn't fight at all, focuses in illusion magic and some conjuration. Masu is his dog. Emile is @ reliquarian's Guy that hangs out w him. (Is he mad cuz he hates sun's dog or because he wants an invitation to the cuddles? Who knows)

Ok getting into ones that arent as fleshed out. Bramul and ahzada are also oblivion characters. Bramul may do knights of the nine but idk, i didnt wanna play kotn lmao. Theyre girldfriends

These two are kinda half assed skyrim characters but i can never be bothered to play skyrim so i dont do much with them. Cinne is a college of winterhold professor of alteration or something and a part time bird. Narras is a minotaur from my idea of skyrim minotaur i worked on for like a week and then forgot about, he's my dragonborn

And these are some furry designs you may see lmao. C is my main sona whos just me with a cow head, teo was my main sona but now hes just a guy, and goose is some sort of critter.

Most of these are kinda just designs or loose concepts, really kiro n yara, zaw, and sun are my main ones. Im not super in a tes mood lately so those ocs are kinda sidelined atm, though i usually dont mind getting asks about them! I mostly used this as a way to remember all of my ocs and draw them again and show that i havent forgotten about them lmao.

[gho2ty]

multiples of 5!!

ok this ones long so lets slide it under a readmore yay i talk a lot

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

his phone, some tissues, chapstick, possibly medication if hes leaving the house for much time, maybe some mint gum, floss probably. general stuff!

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? 

more clothing definitely. hes a never nude. its a joke but its also........ kinda not. catch him fully clothed pretty much always, he doesnt walk around without a shirt no matter how hot it may be. he has shorts but he doesnt often wear them. he would be happy in a shirt, hoodie, and jeans at all times. possibly with a blanket or two wrapped around him as well. not even always because hes cold but its just a comfort thing.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not? 

not really, hes always been incredibly frugal and doesnt like to waste money on anything. he feels he must always be prepared for anything that may happen (its the doom) so he has always made sure to keep his spending low and feel ready for disaster to strike at any time that needs whatever savings he has.

and now hes rich but, other than the house- which he didnt buy himself anyways, still doesnt seem like it with spending or ego.

20. answered here

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

pretty fast, but like, usually correctly. his intuition even though its fueled by paranoia and anxiety is pretty top notch. possibly and probably BECAUSE its fueled by paranoia and anxiety.

if hes close to someone he tries to give them the benefit of the doubt and “maybe not..” but hes still very observant and if theres reason to be suspicious hes probably going to catch it even if youre his best friend or quadmate. he just will be much less likely to call you out on it, because he wants to see what youre up to LMAO

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? 

gives his on and off sex repulsion as the easy and fast answer here. its not always repulsive and hes working on it but its still a thing.

otherwise, theres a LOT of stuff that makes him feel sick to his stomach tbh. a lot of mindsets that he finds utterly abhorrent. a lot of jokes he cant stand. even just types of ppl he refuses to entertain.

unless its something terrible and/or being said by a close friend or quad, he tries to just ignore it and go offline for a while, because a lot of them arent things that are THAT BAD all things considered and are just a thing he personally has a problem with. and thats just on him, and he realizes this.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

he wants to spend all the time with them. every second means tons to him and he WILL text them 10 times in a row just rambling about whatever comes to mind because he wants to keep talking to them. its a little overbearing and he tries to hold back but if they tell him its fine then its free real estate.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs? 

pretty well! hes sometimes neutral, but much of his life hed been so socially isolated that the only people hed interact with in person were service workers and they meant kinda a lot to him. catch a cashier saying something nice to him and g2 going “what are we?” (but only internally.)

he tries to be a easy customer and as patient and considerate as possible. yes he tips well, & if he ever couldnt at the time then he wouldnt order something or go somewhere where hes being serviced.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? 

he knows hed just end up in the dreambubbles again and that doesnt scare him but hed definitely feel like it was in some way losing. he doesnt, at his current state, want to return to being dead. and he wants to stay in this state because it took a lot to get here.

[baby-fites]

ANON <3

Tumblr really didnt want me answering asks with a readmore but this shits over 2,000 words so like I Gotta Tho

  You shouldn’t be staring. It wasn’t his fault- the fabric for his new costume was still under development, this was just a test run. A failed test run. You really shouldn’t be starring. You were staring. You couldn’t help it, Mirio stood just a few yards in front of you, naked as the day he was born, sweat glistening on his chest and abs and down to his-

    “Haha, whoops! Guess this thing isn’t quite ready for a public debut yet.” He gave a nervous laugh, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Truth be told, it was embarrassing, but at this point he could only feel so much shame- plenty of people had seen him naked plenty of times, it came with the territory and by now he was more or less used to it. Well- for the most part, the difference was the person seeing him usually wasn’t someone he was into.

       He was into you though… very into you. Not that you’d reciprocate… It wasn’t that she was unattractive, you just had more important things to worry about then a relationship with anyone… Didn’t you? But then why were you looking at him- why were you looking at him like that?

      “Uh…. [L/N]? [F/N]? You ok over there?”

You blinked a few times, shaking your head. “Oh- Yeah! Yes! Sorry. I’m ok- just.. just uh…” A valiant effort on your part, but in vain. You couldn’t stop staring even as your cheeks heated up, you were practically drooling. “I just uh- just…”

       “Yeah?” He took a step forward, unable to keep a small smile off his face. “Just what? You’re looking a little flushed there [F/N], You sure you’re not getting sick or anything?” He didn’t sound convincing in the least, he knew you were starring- that you liked what you saw- and what you saw was his dick twitching in interest as he stepped towards you. God you wanted to know what it felt like…

       There was a gentle hand on your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. “[Y/N]… I wanted to ask you something. If that’s alright with you.”

       It took you a few tries to find your voice, the words getting stuck in your throat, at least you managed to tear your eyes away from his thickening cock. “Y-yeah? What’s uh- what’s what you wanted to ask?”

       His other hand came to your cheek and his eyes stare into yours, “Are you… Do you like me? I mean- You’re kinda staring y’know? …Not that I mind! You can if you want! I’m just asking if you do want.”

    “Yes…” The answer left you before you had the chance to think about it. Yes you want, of course you want, you don’t know what he’s offering but you want it, you want it bad. “Mirio I want to- I mean I want- You…”

        And then he was kissing you. Kissing you so hard it’s dizzying and you sucked in a gasp through your nose as he pushed you up against the wall of the training room. It was booked through the hour, and it wasn’t like anyone would interrupt, but the abruptness of having him act like this there and then was enough that your legs spread on their own when he nudged a naked thigh between them. Just as quickly as it started, just as you began kissing back with enthusiasm, he pulled away with a quiet laugh. “Woah- haha, sorry! Guess I got kinda carried away there huh? Sorry about that, it’s just I’ve had some feelings for you going on for awhile now so when you said th-”

    You cut him off by grabbing the back of his neck and yanking him in for another kiss, and he doesn’t object. This kiss was harder, more desperate, and within moments you felt his hands on you skin, he reached through your shirt to run his fingers over every part of you. You couldn’t help rutting slightly against his leg and groaning into his mouth. This sparked something in him, something primal. He pulled his hands from your chest, grabbing your legs and wrapping them around his waist, holding you up with your back pressed against the wall.

     After spending so much time looking at his dick you should’ve been prepared for how it would feel pressed against you, but you weren’t even close. By now he was rock hard and pressed against you through your shorts, and without even looking down you could feel how incredibly thick he was. Your legs tightened around him, pulling him closer as he broke away from your mouth, pressing hot, wet kisses over your jaw and down your neck. You let out a whine of his name, openly grinding against him as he held you in place.

      “Shit [F/N]..” He breathed against your skin, you couldn’t remember the last time you heard him swear. You opened your mouth to say something but you were cut off by your own startled yelp as you felt his fingers brush over you, phasing through your shorts and underwear, just touching you once before pulling away. “Sorry-” He barely stifled a grunt, “Was that bad? I mean is it ok if I touch you?”

You managed a shaking nod and a quiet “Yes… Please.” And that was all it took for him to get back to pressing his fingers against you, rubbing gently but with enough pressure that you needed to bury your face in his shoulder to keep from moaning. You squirmed and ground against his hand and it wasn’t long before one of his fingers was stroking gently across your entrance and you were whining out an embarrassing string of “please please pleasepleaseplease-”  As he slowly slipped it into you. You wanted to cry, you thought you might be crying. It didn’t hurt, of course, he would never hurt you, but the slow sensation of being worked open under his touch was enough to overwhelm you. You tossed your head back with a wail when he added a second, his fingers so thick, so filling, and so perfectly angled that-

“Mirio- Mirio fuck I’m gonna cum!” You bucked your hips harder, fucking yourself on his fingers while you felt the pooling heat build throughout your entire body. “Good,” He beamed at you- how could he stay so cheerfully casual? -And immediately worked his fingers with more precision against the spot that seemed to drive you the most wild. “I want you to actually, I’d love to know what you look like when you do.”

That was enough to send you over the edge, with a sharp cry you grabbed at his shoulders and muffled yourself against his chest as he worked you through the high. Just when you started coming down, thinking he was slowing to a stop, you felt a third finger press into you. “Oh shit.” you eloquently moaned as the stretch intensified the aftershocks of your first orgasm.

     “Wow, I guess I was right!” He was still smiling down at you, but even with pleasure clouding your vision you could see the playful glint in his eyes, “You look really, really good like that!” You only managed a whine in response, still grinding down against his hand. You could still feel him, hard and hot and heavy against your thigh, and looking down you could see glistening drops of precum forming at the tip of his cock.

     You looked back to meet his eyes and after a deep shuddering gasp you managed to speak. “These off,” you tugged at your shorts, “Fuck me.” He seemed taken aback slightly at your request, but was quick to shake his head with a light chuckle and slowly pull his fingers from you. You nearly fell when he set you down, catching yourself on the wall behind you.

      “Jeez,” He laughed again, but this laugh sounded a bit more strained than those before, “If I’d known you wanted it this bad I would’ve confessed my feelings at home!”

      You threw your balled up shorts-underwear combo at him with the skill of an expert marksman, they of course sailed directly through his torso and landed behind him on the floor, but it still counted, you were convinced of that. In the time you took to congratulate yourself on your obvious victory, the man in front of you found the opportune moment to launch a surprise attack of his own. That is to say he lifted you against the wall again, splaying you out and resting your legs on his shoulders, leaning in ever so slowly and pressing his nose to yours.

“Hi” He said “Hi” You echoed, blush creeping over your face as you felt his tip press lightly against you.

“Well…” He offered you a sheepish grin, “Knock knock, clearance for entry?” God damn it, you thought, “God damnit,” You said out loud, though your words had no real bite to them considering you couldn’t contain your laughter, “Mirio that was terrible. You do know that was terrible right?”

  “I have no idea what you mean!” He gasped, feigning offense, “Would you rather I said ‘permission to come aboard captain?’” Now you couldn’t help the snort of laughter that shook through your frame, if he was trying to ease your nerves he was doing a damn good job. “I’d rather you be in me already.”

     “I think I can do that,” His smile never quit, only quivering as he grit his teeth and slowly, ever so slowly started to push into you. Dear god he was thick- well- you’d known that, you’d expected that, you just… hadn’t expected how thick. You’d never felt so full in your life, and still, he wouldn’t hurt you. The slow drag of his cock was driving you mad, and any discomfort from the stretch never bordered on pain. You only realized you were clinging to him and whimpering in his ear when he started whispering encouragement against you.

    “Good job baby, you’re doing so good, taking me so well, you feel so amazing.” You could hear his voice faltering as he fought to sink into you at the slowest possible pace, and the groan the reverberated through his entire chest when he bottomed out was enough to make you grind your hips against his.

   “Fuuuck-” He exhaled through gritted teeth as he began to pull back, almost as slowly as he’d pushed in. “[F/N] you’re so- so good, feels so good-” his hips stuttered, pace picking up into a gentle but decent rhythm. You were practically writhing against him, words breaking off into fragments of his name and pleas for him to keep going, to go harder to give you more.

     He delivered, never once did he stop kissing you, praising you, encouraging you to be his. He Guided one of your hands down between your bodies, silently urging you to touch yourself. You had no objections and soon you were gasping for breath, moaning so loudly you worried someone outside of the room would hear. White hot pleasure was coursing through your veins all over again, your body tensing around him as it built to a peak. He’d covered your neck and collarbone in kisses and gentle hickies at this point, and when he latched on to the skin just under your ear you came undone.

     “Miri- Mmmirioooo I’m cumming again- cumming again right fucking now holy SHIT-” You let out a shriek, tears burning at the corners of your eyes as you came hard enough to white out your own vision, unable to focus on anything outside of the blinding liquid pleasure taking you apart from the inside out.

      When you came to it was with a surprised shout at the feeling of him jackhammering his hips into you, fucking you against the wall so hard you’d have bruises on your back for the next few days. It took you a few moments to realize he was saying something, muttering between grunts and moans into your ear.

   “Just a little more baby- ah- shit just hold out for me- just need a little more please- please you’re so good almost there just a little closer-” Between his words and the feeling of being fucked into next Tuesday, you felt your third release approaching fast and hard, and frantically you scratched at his shoulders and pleaded right back to him.

“Yes- God yes Mirio right there- so close- please-” “Cum with me-” It was louder than anything else he’d said, halfway between a command and a desperate beg, “Please baby please cum with me god I need you to please-”

 You couldn’t deny him, your body spasmed of its own accord, tightening and shivering around him as he railed into you like his life depended on it. You were dizzy, you were blinded, you could practically hear yourself dripping onto the floor beneath him and you were sensitive, so sensitive to how full you were- and then, you just weren’t full anymore. He was shuddering above you with a low, loud moan, and twitching in place as he came, but he wasn’t inside you anymore. It took you a moment, but you realized he hadn’t pulled out either, instead, in possibly the strangest type of intimacy you’d ever experienced, he’d phased his entire pelvis through your body, spattering the wall behind you with ropes of cum and making for the most bizarre view of two bodies you could imagine when you looked down.

  After a few seconds of heavy breathing he pulled his hips back enough to solidify again, and slowly sank the both of you to the floor, holding you close against his chest. “Heh, Sorry about that,” His voice, though a little shaky, still maintained a chipper casualty, “I guess I should’ve just asked if I could finish in you instead, but I also wasn’t sure I had time to pull out, besides,” He grinned, pressing your foreheads together, “I think your surprised face was almost as cute as your face when you’re cumming!” You rolled your eyes, unable to hide the blush from your face. “Hey y’know, the locker rooms here aren’t too great,” He continued, “what do you say we get cleaned up back at my place?” …You had the feeling you were in for a long evening.

[vaguelygeiszlerian]

1 to 40 please OwO

rhhgjtghenrhg avery is that you (im chucking these under a readmore, i just did some so im not doing them again, there WILL be context so prepare to read)

your favorite song everyone who knows me even a little bit knows my favorite song is take on me by aha! https://open.spotify.com/track/2WfaOiMkCvy7F5fcp2zZ8L?si=Y-PQBNsYSFe30n4l-XILsw

the first song you remember loving the very first? well if i can’t do take on me again, you get... hm. well there’s two, so i’ll give you the not embarrassing one. bohemian like you, dandy warhols, a song 2 year old [redacted] went wailing round the house singing. https://open.spotify.com/track/0yEhNqCwEfy8LHUmnZoHpP?si=UDGKtdX-Qwiy2mUP88Xlbg

a song that reminds you of summer done!

a song you haven’t heard in years behind blue eyes, limp bizkit, before you say anything, and i know you will, this song is a depression song and i stand by my love for it  https://open.spotify.com/track/1MTQHCpraD4S8g5PAFKzoj?si=vD8m_yjlRoq3bRd1hvQU1A

a song you can relate to right now? well, i’m mostly plucking songs from my ‘real ass bops’ playlist, if you want the one that reflects today’s jordan, you’re in for a grim treat! despicable by grandson https://open.spotify.com/track/5IPT4Noqvo7bsfbWUOHcG4?si=Cp4O-5WdS0-ZqfxxWVR01A

a song that reminds you of your favorite book ooh, i think i have a good one for this, my favorite book of all time is the taking by dean koontz, ask me why sometime, it’s a good read! it’s the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine), r.e.m https://open.spotify.com/track/2oSpQ7QtIKTNFfA08Cy0ku?si=nfVjPGY7QaGH26uAz-88_A

a song that makes you want to dance right now? two trucks, lemon demon, don’t ask https://open.spotify.com/track/1s5A0u1dnAeVNur5nPkCpD?si=HLZERdMDQnqBxGnj31Lx3g

the best song from your favorite album heart’s a mess, from gotye’s ‘like drawing blood’, his second studio album, which is my absolute fave of all three proper ones he did, even if his first had some really amazing tracks, and making mirrors had some good ones, there’s nothing like learnalilgivinanlovin, or a distinctive sound, or, as i said, heart’s a mess! https://open.spotify.com/track/4tFkgfdi8b3aNcKNthPqIF?si=nDJafKn8QYmEgdqmlN4y4A

a song that makes you want to cry all songs make me wanna cry, but first that comes to mind is black friday (from the black friday musical soundtrack), because as an older sibling with a younger sister that the world doesn’t understand (that i don’t understand sometimes) the little aside about hannah makes me cry every single time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAZgYL0p2zk

a song that makes you feel young the distance, cake, it’s a song i listened to pretty much from my formative years til about... well, yesterday actually! never ceases to make me feel like im a good 15 years younger haha https://open.spotify.com/track/0fsz7tJ7UKXT9hliLfO7aE?si=caOsrX_fT4u9qARZKWSqfQ

a song that means a lot to you la vie en rose, edith piaf. i was (still am) a romantic sucker, and used to make all sorts of idealistic romantic playlists growing up, and i never knew the french (and i still dont (youre welcome em <3)) but the way she sang always made my heart tremble. and then bioshock infinite burial at sea came out, and i listened to that version of la vie en rose a million times, cried at a good half of them. anyway i love this song. https://open.spotify.com/track/3lAun9V0YdTlCSIEXPvfsY?si=zSRwBZ0AQnuyGGkjh2XmZw

the last song you listened to i’m in love with an e-girl, wilbur soot, the chorus of this song FUCKS my friends, honestly the whole song (and internet has ruined me, the sort of sequel) fucks https://open.spotify.com/track/44wBlg3Y1KSAEmaze5BXe7?si=u9mapV8STz6sqR3jg4XMiw

the last song you heard on the radio we don’t really do the radio in the car, and i dont recognise the songs on there these days anyway

the last cd/album you bought the black friday album actually! support starkid 

a song to listen to on rainy days done!

a chill song no surprises, radiohead https://open.spotify.com/track/1bSpwPhAxZwlR2enJJsv7U?si=oVXsE5JiTxulLkevqL4hjA

an upbeat song push up, freestylers, ok so maybe we do listen to the radio sometimes, and i heard a snippet of this like two months ago and immediately added it to my playlist https://open.spotify.com/track/2PJq8Fr5i2S0OkcmFsTC1P?si=3K7q37zNRuCQIduRdApjWQ

a song that gets stuck in your head nobody by mitski, everyone knows that one though https://open.spotify.com/track/6bTn1ovliI0OkjUNkiMBJq?si=Vc-DUCl-RpyhRc6lcbpKgg

your favorite song from a movie somewhere only we know, keane, from my favorite scene in ‘he’s just not that into you’ which is one of my fave romcoms, ok you probably didnt need all that context, dont laugh https://open.spotify.com/track/0ll8uFnc0nANY35E0Lfxvg?si=Lov6MdiOTNGrxCiX6UdDZg

your favorite song from a musical inevitable, the guy who didn’t like musicals. i know the choreo, i know every part almost down to the pitch now, i spent hours practicing the kickline with my sister. jon matteson if you have a spare moment please teach me how to kick your legs that high https://open.spotify.com/track/2lQkaEvJa69QCzk3x6HgaA?si=QMRBYXPwRruOSU4_xBPdMA

a song that reminds you of the moon night, the altogether, no real reason here, its just got a lonesome ethereality to it https://open.spotify.com/track/3MKF7HCn6uD03jWcUB8k1R?si=gm8JKR1jQbS6Dh59WUuEwA

a song by your favorite artist/band i really can’t pick between radiohead and newton faulkner, so you get the best of both, 15 step and teardrop https://open.spotify.com/track/6dsq7Nt5mIFzvm5kIYNORy?si=9dEYby1PRKm8zozrCTGcjA https://open.spotify.com/track/7JpgJ7b5sjvo3fUfPcRlq1?si=pVfzoWtuTdO5OsbDgUnabQ

a song from the year you were born closing time, semisonic, one of the fucking best songs ever https://open.spotify.com/track/4EnkwZd0UJAuHpNMMemQaA?si=ASYNfnThR_m9kqFrloI9nw

the number one song on your birthday my heart will go on, celine dion, i guess titanic had just come out that year, but in my country, on my birthday, this was the number one, god help us https://open.spotify.com/track/33LC84JgLvK2KuW43MfaNq?si=HswubDCkQJ-x7-LM06PQUQ

your favorite love song i do adore, mindy gledhill, cliche at this point, i know, but my sister introduced it to me, played it on her ukelele, and i love her, more than i love most things, and it makes me smile even on a day where ive not done very much smiling at all https://open.spotify.com/track/6JNEDSev5Tp5VQR04SEBfV?si=BxnrZafFT3m4QkXNUN5GcA

your favorite christmas song baby it’s cold outside, lydia liza and josiah lemanski, it’s the funniest fucking song https://open.spotify.com/track/3xvFTqHmlMqKjHgczCGn2C?si=lgDMvUQZR-2lPXHINo2POQ

one song that starts with each letter of your name j: JT by jon bellion (https://open.spotify.com/track/1eftOUoeMO1JkSQQmS6jXF?si=h4yYMpXnTAiZPxJJUPv0DA) o: one more shot, spies are forever ost (https://open.spotify.com/track/0EgLq4ORQ6TMPN6rjWp3d6?si=mC3eDbJJRyCGN4fNAcbdlA) r: red signal, the mechanisms (https://open.spotify.com/track/2TWDxsjHx2rqtH197URbE8?si=XB8D-1N-SkKgmlTZOFbcfQ) d: dont judge me, janelle monae (https://open.spotify.com/track/6UQDIIEPzeduwXlZE86SOF?si=1bONXfj-SQiq79ibrXjC-A) a: as your father i expressly forbid it, lemon demon (https://open.spotify.com/track/29L9B2aDs2NhrQGbs8pf9M?si=CvVTbLtNTgGeL3iemrLVHg) n: night drive, gotye (https://open.spotify.com/track/3fuRfxHpC56uNFMOaOlMCm?si=PDAbEsi_SjK-EYDmTvjT6A)

two songs with the same/similar titles that you like i don’t care (fall out boy) / idfc (blackbear) https://open.spotify.com/track/13mM4hWNMH5KwMcwl81tXS?si=YOqg8tVXRQKXB3ANmDFjHQ https://open.spotify.com/track/6y6jbcPG4Yn3Du4moXaenr?si=CzyYs4b5QQ23azTqgv0iXw

a cover that you like better than the original song done!

a song with really good lyrics kick it up a notch, starship  https://open.spotify.com/track/1r223IXiRxObMBNh3mcyWR?si=-RX3obwISfS_jk3JjzvaJg

a song with an amazing beat couple’s retreat, jon bellion https://open.spotify.com/track/7pMS0byKI7V1Mpl0SlWEDq?si=Xytu_HBrStq_zjKdia2oig

a song that you associate with the color yellow boys, lizzo https://open.spotify.com/track/1ITsmuChPVC05ogvorAyVu?si=hkoCz7ouQsyLKn8Q7KO92g

your favorite song with an action in the title (jump, dance, etc.) bite back, all american rejects https://open.spotify.com/track/4zJv4aXOIAepvhApOFoQeQ?si=qRtthyDlQvKGRErmkI8lDg

your favorite acoustic song heart is full, jon bellion https://open.spotify.com/track/6DvsjPkNcB4QoezDPtxsAB?si=vD18h70qSFG5xtrjpuy4XA

a song that motivates you take me home, country roads, john denver https://open.spotify.com/track/39q7xibBdRboeMKUbZEB6g?si=STNgdvZSQNSfqX9pENggSg

your favorite song you’ve heard live camisado, panic at the disco https://open.spotify.com/track/1LF5HQ32hztQWzADGH8ys4?si=VDjKcAo9TX-JA0kF6csqQA

a song that reminds you of your best friend ok so this one needs context (and an attached apology), when i think of best friends as a concept i think of tianna, and when i think of tianna, i think of sitting at the junior campus, huddled around my phone, tittering like twits over this stupid fucking song. (but honestly avery this applies to you too, you’re my best friend that isn’t emmy, i love you) enormous penis, da vinci’s notebook https://open.spotify.com/track/7dUCFnaGSWLH6SdDP08NLP?si=dH00DTxqTR2y3mAIEia9Lw

your favorite song from childhood radio/video, system of a down, the song my sister used to babble incomprehensibly loudly to whenever we played it in the car, the one i grew so used to i can literally hear it in my head as i type https://open.spotify.com/track/41pOIT2t1rvr2Trg1HQChZ?si=-Kyg8JSET2uDq0XGMICsMg

a song you always sing along to can’t sleep love, pentatonix, my sister and i’s favorite song to duet together, even if we haven’t quite worked out the proper parts for a two person acapella cover haha https://open.spotify.com/track/1klGbW5a9qTBFUjFfddbmU?si=Lm0FMpz5TVKddr82vUyf2w

your favorite song in a language different from your native one since i’m determined not to reuse songs, you get papaoutai, stromae (sorry about all the french, they bop babe) https://open.spotify.com/track/09TcIuH1ZO7i4vicWKoaN2?si=YTuHkj1DTgicqo7ZnqYJ0Q

[calm-me-down-oh]

How about all the questions ;)

skdsjf ofc u would get me back for that, under a readmore bc theres a lot!

When was the last time you masturbated? Yesterday! Had a.. very hot convo w my gf

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering? Uhh the only time Ive had it done to me the person had to stop bc they got uncomfy with it and it was overall just a bit odd,, wait it happened a second time and their nails were too sharp also sdkfhsdh I feel like I could get to like it though? If its like, actually properly done rather than my current experiences sdhfk

How do you feel about food during sex? nno thanks mostly? I guess it can kinda depend on the food though idk, like if my gf suggested somethin I might not mind trying it out depending on what it was yknow

What do you do directly after sex? um.. well afaik just kinda lay/sit in a daze for a moment, mayb have some water, get real clingy, kind of have to be nudged into doing stuff bc i guess my brain just stops working skjdfkj

Cuddle with the tip in? Hell yeah. cuddle with it all in. sounds good.

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? I don’t think I’ve really done anything nasty sdjkfsj all the sex ive had has been quite brief and vanilla idk

Name a follower you would fuck. @you-better-make-me!

Name a follower you have fucked. None..

What’s the sexiest part of your body? Idk man I guess my thighs are ok people seem to like them anyway

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe Am i supposed to know who these people are

Would you ever be with a trans person? i think the real question is would i ever be with a cis person (yes i would be with a trans person i am with 2 trans people and i am trans and i havent dated anyone cis since i was like 15)

Riding dick or doggy style? yes

Ever fucked in a school? Nope

Most random place you’ve had sex? havent really had sex in a random place lmao just beds

Would you ever be part of the mile high club? maybe..? thats having sex on a plane right. idk. maybe

Name three of your spots. what does this mean fkjd

Fuck on the first date? Depends

Do you suck dick? I’m sure gonna try!

Do you eat ass? Idk maybe not skdfjhsjk

Do you eat pussy? Haven’t yet, nearly did, got too nervous sdkjfh

Do you like kissing? So much!!

Is farting during sex sexy? I.. I mean its not sexy but like im also not gonna have a negative reaction. unless its me. that is something im admittedly very nervous about fkjd

Ever fucked in the shower? Nope

How old were you when you lost your virginity? Uh............ good question. 19 or 20 i forget if it was before my birthday but within the last year. unless you only count penetrative sex, then I haven’t yet

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? Y..yes? I suppose afternoon/night is usually a better time, morning is jsut sleepy and trying to remember how to exist hours

Do you like drunk sex? Haven’t had it but I do get horny when I drink, wouldn’t be against trying it with someone I trust

Do you like high sex?  Again never had it! And I haven’t really been high either so Idk

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll N..none for any

When was your first kiss? I was like 13 I think

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? College

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope. Wait maybe. Kind of. Idk when I was younger I was with this guy who would try get me to touch myself n I hadn’t figured out how to make it feel good so I’d just lie and say I was when i wasnt bc i didnt wanna do it so maybe at some point i said i came when i hadnt sdfhks

Ever painted/been painted on? Yeah but not in like a horny way, my ex would paint on my hand as kinda their way of flirting with me

You like sex toys? Sure

What’s your favorite sex position? Personally think missionary is underrated bc that closeness and being able to cling just sounds v good but also getting fucked from behind face down ass up also sounds,, v good lately

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? beddd, maybe couch, floor just seems uncomfortable

Do you like car sex? Never had it, just seems a bit awkward but I guess I’d be open to trying it

You get instantly horny; what happened? My neck got bit!

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina. Kill chris brown. idk who the others are

Describe your crush. Don’t have one!

Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? Uh... Idk? I mean, theres preventative measures for basically all std’s right? So as long as those are taken so i dont also get it I guess it’d be ok

Rate your head game. No clue dkfhdsj

Rate your sex. Awkward!

Would you fuck someone outside of your race? ?? yes. what kind of question is this

Describe the type of freak you are. idk what this means but what first came to mind was ‘pet’ so take that as u will

Ever tasted your own nut/cum? Sure

Into golden showers? Nope

Body count: Under or Over 25? Wayyy under

How do you feel about nipple play? Uh depends! Not into being harsh like clamps etc just seems like itd hurt n not in a good way, but playing w/ them w ur hands and sucking on them. very good

Where do you like to be nutted on? chest/stomach seems good

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? bottoming

What do you consider “too small?” Idk man dick is dick idc

Is play fighting foreplay? It sure can be!

Do you like angry sex? In concept maybe, in reality itd just kinda scare me

How long should a quickie be? Idk.. quick

How long is “too long” to have sex? Idk sex ends whenever one of u wants to stop, don’t think u can go too long if ur both comfortable with it

How long is “too long” to go without sex? Listen i.. am not the person to be asking this I’ve had sex maybe 3 times spread out over almost a year. i have never regularly had sex

Is “no” relevant in a relationship? Incredibly relevant!! Always!! Unless you’ve discussed beforehand that its ok to ignore it and have a safeword in place instead!! and then that safeword is not to be ignored!!

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? Sure but idk if i could do it

Would you have sex in a public bathroom? mmmaybe....

Would you have sex in a changing room? mmmmmmmmaybe

Who was the last person you had sex with? My ex

Describe your type. Idk I have the weirdest type i think they have like nothing in common then theyll all turn around and be into the same stuff or something its v strange

Name 3 turn-ons. Biting, just making out sometimes tbh, skin contact in places usually covered by clothes or under clothes..

Name 3 turn-offs. Umm. i definitely have turn offs but whenever im asked my mind goes blank. I guess being overly rough, hair pulling im undecided on tbh, and oh i usually dont like having my ass smacked but idk if itd change if it were like.. in the middle of sex

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. Bad pain or panicking or it seems like the other person is uncomfortable. or someones knocking on the door for some reason sdkfjs

Would you answer a phone call during sex? no omg

Would you ever pay for sex? Nah.

Would you accept money for sex? Uh. Maybe? Wouldnt ask for it tho

How do you typically feel after sex? Mostly affectionate and good, but w the last person i was with sometimes it seemed like they just wanted it over and done with so i would get kinda nervous and guilty over that,, idk

Do you like your body? Nah

Ever sent nudes? Yep

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yeah he was abusive

Have you ever been cheated on? Idk, maybe, wait i think the guy i cheated on tried saying he cheated on me too but idk if he was just trying to get back at me so

Would you have a threesome? If I trust the people sure

Would you have a foursome? Same as above

Would you take part in an orgy? Uhh idk maybe, same as above applies tho

Would you let’s train be ran on you? Again if I trust the people yeah sure

How often do you masturbate? Idk it really depends sometimes im really horny and its like daily maybe more than once a day and then sometimes i just dont for like. a while

Sex with the lights on or off? on.. how are u meant to see what ur doing otherwise sdjkhfs

Sex with music or tv in the background? Sure, idc really. Though i have a thing if its like.. kids stuff.........dont do that..........

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? wtf no

In your last relationships, rate the sex? Uhh... good? I mean, good at the time, though like i said sometimes felt a bit rushed, and that now makes sense and i have very mixed feelings on it but mostly guilt bc the person i was with has since said they werent really into it. so.

Do you sleep naked? Nah I at least have underwear on

How often do you go commando? Never

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? Nope

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? Uh, depends? Talking about it beforehand or even during can be good though. But i guess it doesnt have to be Right before it, it can be a bit in advance

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? Kiss.. touch,, etc,,

Do you make the first move? Um. w my ex i kinda had to bc as i said, i later found out they werent really into it. other than that i generally dont tho bc im very nervous abt all that, kinda especially after that discovery hdfbghf

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Nope

Do you like dryhumping ? Sure

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? Probably not

Have you ever been recorded during sex? No but I’ve had a dream abt being recorded sucking someones dick it was weird

Do you watch porn during sex? W. who does that. how can u focus on that. why would u watch sex when ur having sex skdjfhsjdk

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? Never had a one night stand

What’s your kink? Praise! Marking! Collars!

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? I don’t think i could have a hook up tbh so no

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? nope

How romantic are you during sex? uh.. idk havent rly had chance to try being romantic during sex but soft sex sounds v good imo

Describe your sex in 5 words or less. in my experience so far? nervous and kinda awkward

[zeravmeta]

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.

[iobottle]

atissi

replied to your post

“it kinda makes me sad when artists giving out tutorials on character...”

oh could you talk more about this? :o

ABSOLUTELY thank u for enabling me to go off about designs i love this shit this may get a bit long so its going under a readmore (sorry if ur on mobile i hope it works)

gonna start this off with im no expert Nor have i taken any sort of official art class this is me just analyzing characters from what i found that makes them memorable to ppl (most of these examples are going to be from games sorry i got them on my mind)

ok so basically making a memorable revolves around personality and appearance now theres different ways to go about showing these things and i think from consuming media you like will help narrow down how you wanna go about it, basically thinking about your character inside and out!

SO shapes and hyperstylization is a good way to get a fun appearance across in a cartoon esp media and is often what a lot of artists stress on an example of using shapes and a good silhouette to make a memorable character is sonic!(specifically comic sonic)

(had to google idw sonic for a non...u know image)

but not only do they use lots of triangles for this hedgehog they also made him blue! you’d be more likely to remember a blue headgehog over a realistically colored one!(also almost all of the sonic characters have a combination of fun shape + unusual color to help you remember them! the designs werent afraid to use color to make a bold statement)(he’s also segas mascot so of course they put a lot of work in his design)

now sonics appearance is not the only reason why people like him or remember him so much he’s also got personality! he’s cocky, fast, always getting into trouble, “you’re too slow!”, accompanied by shitty butt rock and a cool guy persona ie he’s got personality! and they weren’t afraid to give him some weird interests(see the butt rock) and he’s not perfect( see arrogance) if youve ever played a sonic game you have almost always remembered the crush 40 theme that went with it

all in all to go with his unusual appearance he’s got some unusual traits! it helps make him believable! admittedly he’s not the most embarrassing of the sonic crew (see knuckles or shadow) but he’s definitely rounded and not boring from an objective standpoint(you can not like sonic or his games i dont care)

(another example of something that requires good shapes is pokemon altho they arent really like very depthy since there are 600+ and some only have like a pokedex entry worth of info but still they have good and memorable designs)

NOW something that doesnt have the most “good shapes” design off the top of my head is link

now in the most recent zelda game his most memoriable physical attribute is that he’s on the androgynous side w his longer hair and smaller build but in his older designs he looked something like this

(art for a loz:link to the past)

not really that much of a striking silhouette, but what do we look at and kinda leaves an impression on us? his hair and hat! its very silly to see someone in such a big green hat with that big of bangs/mullet, the hat at least became so ridiculous of a look that in botw nintendo didnt include his hat in links main outfit bc it was too hard to make look good, its silly! thats good! its fine to have a normal human looking characters because sometimes stories are about humans, but if you want us to remember them include something that will strike us as strange for them

also probably a good thing to note is the noises link makes when he swings his sword, jumps, pushes something, ie any action they have always been something that has stuck with me

(another example similar to this is in mgs solid snake in mgs is this cool super spy but is rocking a full on mullet which is considered a joke hairstyle. this leaves an impression on us. a spy with a mullet! how ridiculous! another example is raiden who was specifically made bc a woman wrote that she didnt want to play as an “old man” so the protagonist of the super spy game is a longer haired pretty boy (with a huge ass))

now ive explained a little on a character with good shapes and personality and a character with a more “boring” shape design that makes up for it with almost quirky design choices but i feel like theres another series thats what originally got me thinking about how even a memorable silhouette doesnt need hyperstylization

ace attorney! (which is out on switch now if u havent played it i would def recommend it)

if you dont know the protagonist is the guy in the blue suit(phoenix), which well he looks like just a guy...with ridiculously spikey hair enough so that in his silhouette you can recognize him but also his posture (the pointing) makes for a sticking recognizable image bc if you’ve played the games you can practically hear objection just from looking at phoenix’s silhouette

which is another thing id like to talk about! not only are a good shape a way to have a good silhouette but posture is also important! how the character holds themselves can say alot about them just from a glance! such as meekness, arrogance, confidence, sadness, anger, happiness its a very important too especially when you arent relying on stylization

now onto the characters of ace attorney ive gone over phoenix's design a bit but theres a few others id like to look at with some Weird style choices that make us remember them(just going to glance over them since this post is so long)

now, this woman, franziska von karma, she dresses kind of strange for a prosecutor but her outfit is not too out there and her silhouette is not striking

but you see that whip? remember how i said she was a prosecutor? yeah she will strike people in court for getting off topic and will even hit phoenix when he starts breaking down her witnesses testimonies, which what literally strikes up about her

another prosecutor, godot, now his hair could provide a somewhat memorable shape but what we first notice is the strange mask on his face which is weird, but not the Same weird as franziska bringing a whip to court thus having both of these prosecutors being Weirdly memorable for different things (another note is his liking of coffee that he does not give up even in court ha ha)

now onto the other protag for the aa games

apollo! who also has weirdly spikey hair, but even if you put a silhouette of him next to phoenix you could tell there some was a difference between the two! its showing a pattern with the protags while also keeping them distinct enough to be able to tell who is who! although you cant say the pointy haired guy from ace attorney and not get just One answer unlike saying the prosecutor who has a whip but still they are distinct to people who have little experience with the series

sorry i dont have any sort of conclusion on this this was just sort of me rambling on about character design, but my main point is if you are discouraged bc all your characters dont have wildly different silhouettes thats ok! there are other ways to establish a good memorable character! dont be afraid to make them a little weird! give your character pink hair in a medieval setting, have them be ridiculously in love with tigers they have a striped shirt and pants, let them love childrens tv shows and have them never miss an episode, give them wacky hair or an extreme love of gum, show us some personality!! but dont forget about how they act and their values and dont forget that posture can go a long way for establishing a first impression

there are also many other methods to making a good character! like colors and dress!

silly is the way to go! have fun with it!!

there isnt just one way to make a good character!! theres plenty of more series that have good character design that i didnt mention pay attention to why you like the characters you like! also watch this video bc its really good

[spiftynifty]

TeeVee Podcast’s Voltron s8 review

I’ve been waiting eagerly for TeeVee’s review of s8. If you recall, their s7 review was what gave us the man getting choked up about Shiro’s relationship. 

The link to the podcast is here but if you’d prefer a sort of transcript, here are some of the highlights for me. I didn’t always catch who was speaking but I wrote down initials where I could. S=Shanon, A=Antony, M=Moises, C=Chip D=Dan. The panel is divided on their feelings on the season. 2 of them seem to have hated it, one liked it, one thought it was fine, and one feels mixed about it. Anyway here we go, some great quotes ahead. 

Under the readmore cuz it’s long. 

S: "After 7 seasons of a show that was going to be one of the animated series of the decade, they not only did not stick the landing, they fell on their butts, rolled off the mat, off the lines, into the judge's table and their leotard popped open"

"A lot of the plot was callbacks to things from seasons ago that we really probably didn't need to see again." "I wasn't entirely sure that they weren't gaslighting me."

Man Shannon is calling out some great points. She's calling out the dropped druid plot thread, and wondering what the point was of showing Lotor's past when he's dead, and nothing can change in his present and his redemption can't really happen.

A: "endings are hard. I was disappointed with this season [...] it was let down by poor plotting and that final battle made me throw my hands up in despair most of the time. But I have enormous sympathy for the EPs. Maintaining a longform episodic story is hard. And to pull off an ending that satisfies even MOST of the audience is harder yet. and let's not forget they were always upfront that vt always had 'editorial interference' from up top. Toys, the fact that it's aimed at children, corp resistance to some of the more modern social issues that they've tried to tackle. THAT SAID, we don't know what happened on this production, who had the final say, what they argued over. and I say this cuz a lot of the fandom drama over it assumes a LOT over how media and entertainment like this is made that simple ARE. NOT. TRUE. Some of the stuff I've read has been ABSURDLY offbase, like that there were different writers rather than just 1 the whole way through which ignores how TV is made. And if you think these writers just go off and write a script without talking to anyone first and then they come back with something that must be filmed without any changes, THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS. [..]we don't know who made these decisions. The studio isn't always the bad guy. Sometimes they rescue things that would otherwise have been a horrible mess. And unless you were IN THE ROOM, you don't know, and neither do any of us. So let's all bear that in mind. [...]You can't lay the blame OR credit on any one person. For any of this." 

They're laughing & making so much fun of the final 3 episodes and how baffling they were. 

"Don't even get me started on Voltron merging with Atlas [and the crew disappearing] that was a bad, bad idea." 

"But that was the ONE time Shiro was back with the team!"

a couple dudes are relatively ok with the Allura death because we've never seen a WOC heroically sacrifice herself for the universe and usually it's the Shiro hero character D: They also point out that technically she wasn't fridged so.. yay?

Antony and Shannon vehemently disagree. 

A: "My problem with that ending was more just that it was... not. good." he makes a comparison to RotJ where Vader still dies and it's his SON, who lives, who 'redeems' him. "This was none of those things. It felt like a terrible lesson. You can be so evil that you kill literally billions of people for 10k yrs but if you say sorry just before you're about to be executed it's alright, dw about it, we'll put the universe back to rights. NO, that's a terrible lesson!!"

S:"They had the LIONS. That's my problem. Throughout this series we've had stakes going up but there has always been a trading of ideas, what can we do, what can we figure out, up to the point where they wind up sacrificing the castle, but they go through steps before that 'is there anything else we can do’. And here, there's not even... she didn't even get to say goodbye to Coran! This is the one character, WOC, and she has sacrificed throughout this entire series. She lost her planet. She lost the last connection she had to her father in the AI. She kept LOSING things over and over to the point where she sacrifices her crown to help Shiro. and the thanks she gets is that she has to turn around and say nope I've got to away and fix all of this and apparently never see you all again. It really, REALLY REALLY bothered me. All of my friends who have CHILDREN who watch this show, universally the kids were upset and angry and tearful and HATED that outcome. This did not feel like a triumph. Having to lose Allura like that robbed any kind of triumph in the success of saving all the universes. And I think that's one of the reasons that this last part of the season sits so poorly with me. I feel like it should have ended in a triumphant way. even if it meant losing a couple of the team members or the lions. Of course that takes away the toy aspect which is why that's not an option. We already had several tragedy arcs in this series. Zarkon, Honerva, and Lotor had tragedy arcs. Why does Allura have to have one too? We've had enough." 

Antony & Shanon KILLIN IT on this podcast y'all.

C: "This series relies so much on 'oh wait, there's a new upgrade', 'oh wait, there's this new thing'" A: "Well that was the entire final battle." C: "So there's this handwavy Allura has to sacrifice herself. The heavy lifting wasn't done to make this an earned moment."

S: "I do think, whether it was at the direction of DW or WEP (Vld IP), without those little epilogue cards, there is the potential opening that Allura might be able to return.[..]It was open to interpretation."

One guy likes the Shiro ending for the surprising progress aspect, even though he's not thrilled about how it was put together. also he isn't convinced the epilogue wasn't planned. He likes a lot of s8 but all the stuff he likes is tied to stuff that he really didn't like.

S:"The shiro card is the other reason that I think those things were shoved in. For me, that turns Shiro's entire character into a token when he wasn't before. When they introduced his sexuality, it was done BEAUTIFULLY. There was this conversation with his significant other a mature relationship that ran into its problems and therefore couldn't happen anymore. Adam could've been Adele, and nothing would have changed about that conversation. It was not the defining characteristic of Shiro. It was just something else about him."

S: "And then s8 happens and Shiro is divided from everybody on the team. There are so few interactions of any kind that aren't just barking orders. or making plans. Keith is the prime example. Their friendship had been a backbone of this series and suddenly they can't even stand more than feet 5ft from each other. 

A: “It’s barely evident, yeah.”

M:”And the same with the rest of the main cast. And if they had set that up at the end of s7, that he’s going to go into the background a bit, it wouldn’t have felt as weird.

S: “And they didn’t! S7 was miraculous in the fact that even though he’s no longer in a lion, he’s still got a vital part to play in the series. And s8 erased that. It pretty much neutered him! And the kind of message is once you've revealed this character to be gay, we've gotta keep him out of the way. And if they had not put those end cards in, again the fact that he's a gay man is just the fact that he's a gay man and it's not any bigger or smaller aspect of his character, but they did not EARN him marrying random bridge crew member #3."

A: "and RETIRING! A man who LEFT adam because he felt he had to go and fight."

A: "He left the guy he loved before because of his devotion to"

S:"To fighting to making things right"

A:”To being a soldier and doing the right thing.”

C:”Isn’t the whole point then that he achieves that?”

M:”The fighting’s over and he can leave that behind and he can actually be happy.”

S: “He wouldn’t’ve. I don’t see it.”

M: “I violently disagree.”

C: “I think it was a nice endcap for his character."

Moises also likes this because it’s not a BYG scenario and he gets retired. Shannon is extremely exasperated by these takes. 

S:”For me, it’s like Tangled. You go through Rapunzel and Flynn, going through their adventures, getting closer, getting to know each other, they save each other, things like that. And then she’s reunited with her parents and then we get and endcap that says ‘for political reasons her parents decided they needed to marry her off to the prince in the next county, sorry’. That would’ve had people RIOTING. Thats not how you do a story with characters that people care about. And to shove shiro off onto this random character that we--his name is never spoken!”

A:”No he had like 3 lines in the entire season.”

S:”He had 3 line sin the season, you don’t know his name unless you watched the subtitles, and in the audio narration for the visually impaired, they called him Adam in the endcap. They called him Adam! They fixed that now. It feels like a hugely clumsy attempt to grab the woke points for a character that didn’t need them.”

Moises then talks a little about Shiro and Keith and how he and Shannon both thought there was something there, and still do, but they can’t know what happened behind the scenes and to theorize on the intent of that relationship is “conspiracy theory land” and trying to decide what the writers were prevented from doing is like “reading tea leaves and chicken bones”. He references people extracting things from his own writing. 

M: “As much as I wanted to see that relationship flower and flourish, the fact that it didn’t, look, it’s one of a million times that’s happened for me, with fiction, where things didnt turn out the way I wanted to see them.”

S:”I’m talking about 2 different things, as far as Shiro’s character, vs shipping  issues. I feel Shiro’s character was done a disservice that if they were going to end him in a relationship with another man, they didn’t earn it by throwing that little endcap on.”

M:”Yeah, they could have brought back one less robeast or something.”

S:”The other thing is, I think there is enough out there as far as interviews with JDS and LM to show that at the very least I think they meant to leave it openended. Again  if you take out that endcap, the last shot includes a shot of just Shiro and Keith, together, same screen, looking up as the lions go away, without saying anything further. I know I pie in the sky hoped that they were gonna kiss this season when we did our s7 recap and yes that was the shipper in me talking. I truly did not expect that they would be able to go that far. What I did not expect was for them to tear it down. And I feel like that’s what they did. Between the complete absence of interactions in s8, and then throwing that epilogue in there.”

Dan doesn’t understand how that could be because he sees no reason for them to do that. Shannon patiently explains about DW’s history with LGBT characters but Dan insists that the creators told the story the way they wanted to and he’s fine with Shiro getting a marriage even if it’s a character they don’t know. 

Overall the panelists love the show still, and in most cases prefer to consider it in the realm of s1-6 with a weak final double season (7&8) or that the show ends after s7. They would all love to know how long the NDAs last, a making of perhaps, to know what the heck happened and what changed along the way. Big mood my dudes. Big mood.

[loremonster]

Prompt: Dee and Kenny get into a lively and impassioned debate over whether boobs or butts are superior.

Set Before NKS 01

Readmore in consideration to dash-clogging

[Sent, 10:22] so[Sent, 10:22] t or a?

Kenny was bored. It was the last week of summer vacation, with the first day of Middle School fast approaching. Orientation was tomorrow, his class schedule would be arriving in the mail soon, and the period of sleepovers whenever and not getting his sorry ass up until noon would be replaced with the daily pattern of the bus stop and classes.

The rest of the guys were wrapped up in some end of summer bullshit with Eric, trying to cram their last week of freedom with as much adolescent crazy as possible. Kenny had been right there with them for a chunk of it, but things had escalated, as they do, and he’d ended up with an iron rod through the eye. 

At least brain damage blocks out some of the pain in the last few seconds. Take out a chunk of the frontal lobe, suddenly I don’t give a fuck about anything anymore. 

He’d flipped on a local radio show to keep abreast of what the fuck was happening in town, just in case things got bad crazy for his friends… but for now, he was content staying in his room, idly texting one of his other buddies who had listened to Eric’s last ditch summer fun plan and walked the fuck out, and browsing the web for a new bikini babe to put on his phone’s home screen. 

[Received, 10:23] Ass. Ass until the day I die. 

Dee’s response briefly sat atop his screen, making his eyebrows raise up beneath his tightly drawn hood. The fall chill was coming, but it wasn’t cold enough for his parents to turn the heat on just yet. They’d wait for as long as possible to save money on the energy bill, and only heat the house enough to keep pipes from freezing. He shuffled his shoulders up inside his coat, curling up a little tighter on his bed beneath his Sports Illustrated (swimsuit edition) posters. 

[Sent, 10:23] rly dude? i get that ur buttlord an all b cmon[Sent, 10:23] titties[Sent, 10:23] soft round bouncy boobies with perky pink nipples[Sent, 10:24] ud take an ass over that?

This wasn’t the first casual debate he’d had with the effectively mute kid over text. Granted, they usually argued over tactics in their partnered work as Buttlord and Mysterion… arguments Kenny soundly won nearly every time. Dee was a lot of things. A strategic thinker? Not one of them. 

[Received, 10:25] Everyone has a butt. Asses can be soft like boobies but have a little muscle underneath, so it’s always a firm handful for grabbing, and they’re a lot less likely to have surprise surgery scars.[Received, 10:26] Also its on the backside, less chance getting caught staring[Received, 10:26] Asses forever, boob boi

The barrage of ‘evidence’ from Dee got him to stop scrolling on his web browser, switching wholesale to the messenger app and staring more and more seriously at the words on the screen. 

[Sent, 10:27] well evryne has titties 2, technicly[Sent, 10:27] if u got nipples u got titties[Sent, 10:28] and all titties r good titties[Sent, 10:28] even if you cant stick ur weiner btween them[Sent, 10:29] and nipples give u a thing to focus on[Sent, 10:29] boobies = best

[Received, 10:30] HAHA[Received, 10:30] he spends 2 minutes describing perfect playboy breasts[Received, 10:31] and then back peddles to make the ‘inclusive’ argument[Received, 10:31] meanwhile u can stick ur dick between any set of butt cheeks AND REACH AROUND TO MASSAGE THE BOOBIES AT THE SAME TIME[Received, 10:32] Buttz win bitch

A sure sign that Dee was getting into an argument; he dropped his capitalization and spelling habits. 

[Sent, 10:33] dude if i start with the inclusive argument asshats start screaming UR GAY[Sent, 10:34] screw a dude for habits, nipples r cute and u’ll never change my mind

He smirked, and decided now was a good time for eggplant spam. 

[Received, 10:36] You done?

Nope. Eggplant for days.

[Received, 10:39] I’m just gonna wait until you’re done.

Then you’re gonna be waiting a fucking long time, ain’t ya? I ate a used tampon to get unlimited texting on this phone, motherfucker, and now you shall face my purple wrath. 

[Received, 10:41] K, gonna go get my workout in, BBL

Oh, shit.

[Sent, 10:41] No no no[Sent, 10:41] ur the only one active rn[Sent, 10:42] do not condemn me to the boredom[Sent, 10:42] fite me Assmaster

[Received, 10:43] Asses are beautiful and fun to grab[Received, 10:44] And a firm ass is a good indicator that a person gets a healthy amount of exercise[Received, 10:44] Big titties are a good sign that someone either got work done or has back issues[Received, 10:45] I’ll take healthy over painful, thx

[Sent, 10:46] BLASPHEMY 

Kenny didn’t even realize he was grinning, certain the utterly hyperbolic argument was about to start back up… but he didn’t get a response right away. His all-caps cry remained as the newest message for a full five minutes; a time in which he started off mildly annoyed… and then concerned. 

[Sent, 10:53] dude u ok?[Sent, 10:54] i didnt mean it truce alright?

Still no answer. It was weird; Dee usually announced when he was dropping out of a one-on-one text conversation. It was a courtesy Kenny had gotten used to, even if it was kinda weird for a guy friend to observe the social niceties over text. 

A sense of dread grabbed the bottom of his spine, making him sit up a little straighter in bed as a vague anxiety worked it way between vertebrae like the many tiny legs of a centipede. Each individual tip prickled his skin along the way. 

Finally, there was an answer. 

[Received, 11:02] Text Wendy. We have a situation.

Creeping dread was shed off with a heavy exhale, but the next inhale brought in a more serious sense. Dee’s situations were a regular issue… and when the kid suddenly stopped answering, Kenny had been well and truly worried that one of those situations had gotten to him before they could do something about it. 

They weren’t just partners. They were friends. He cared about the guy. Cared enough to put his immortal ass in front of government agents and take the occasional bullet for the fucker. Sudden radio silence was shit that made him paranoid, but now that tension could turn to something a bit more proactive. 

[Sent, 11:03] on it

[chromaji]

OK we got the new gang here for EO3 dungeons. EO3 is the only game i never uhhh played/owned except for like, testing it with an emulator (and it worked... badly. so i didnt get far)

this group also happens to consist of the remaining 5 classes i hadnt made yet lmao.

ok so im gonna do the character info in the post itself this time?!? just under a readmore. mostly bc i noticed how crowded all this stuff looks in the notes 😅

Noire is the team leader!

Noire just wanted a chill team of explorers to wander around thr labyrinth together with for materials and stuff! So she’s not in it for fame fortune or anything.

Noire doesnt mind the dangers of the labyrinth, buuut she’d love to be able to explore and forage without having to worry about where monsters are every ten seconds.

Noire is like 20 years old. Since Boruni seem to always look tiny no matter what (well, im GUESSING that Syrik is an adult?? running a whole ass shop?) i just thought id say that?

Noire sees this team as a family, though she wont say it. Noire would kill for anyone in this team. She’s got a glock and is prepared to use it.

Albatross (Alba), Celice, and Soreis were all part of the same pirate crew at one point, but Alba eventually disbanded the crew after a particularly bad incident. The only ones who stayed out of the surviving ones were, ofc, Celice & Soreis.

Alba is very theatric & chuuni!! He’ll go ham over the smallest things if you give him the opportunity. honestly he acts like this more to... distract himself from thinking about various shit he’s gone through than anything else. Basically dont leave him alone with his thoughts, he would Rather Not.

Celice is a generally reckless kid, but she’s been trying to work on reeling it in when things get serious. She looks up to Alba & tends to get theatric & bold like him!

Soreis is the “straight-man” who usually keeps Alba & Celice from going too ham, especially during battle.

Soreis is the only one that Alba has talked to about some of his past life.

Soreis is overprotective, and secretly a bit posessive, which they’re starting to realize... the latter aint that great of a thing to be!! They’re embarrassed by it & are trying to not be like that. In secret! Absolutely no one can know!

Emeralda was told that she had exceptional healing powers as a kid and has grown up to be pretty haughty about it.

Emeralda & Celice actually met in tharsis when they were children, but Celice doesnt remember. Emeralda is sad about this ofc, buuut doesnt let it show.

Emeralda puts up a hell of a brave front, but is actually terrified of fighting and seeing her allies wounded. She’s made it her goal to learn as many healing methods as possible so she wont have to worry, no matter what. She hasnt reached that point of ‘perfection’ yet, but eventually she might!!

[jackieandwilsonbyhozier]

im going to talk abt my life and like feelings (embarrassing) for a second bc new years makes me emotional also i hope readmores still work on mobile

i keep trying to make this post but cant figure out how to get all my thoughts together or how to word it . a lot happened this year i guess like my cat got hospitalized which left me with a bill ive spent the entire year paying off. i finally got a job. i got hit by. a fucking car. plus like interpersonal things. it kind of feels like 2018 was slow slow slow and then lots of stuff happened in the last couple months. the fact that i didnt have a job until like the second half of 2018 didnt help

2018 was hard obviously bc every year is hard and horrible but i do think it was different and better than previous years. ive been super depressed for a long time and since graduating high school especially every year just seems to get worse. 2017 was hard as hell bc i spent .. literally the whole year out of school unemployed just laying in bed depressed out of my mind like. super suicidal just completely hopeless and not having the will to do literally anything. for a long long time ive like held on very tight to my misery bc i was afraid to change bc like. its all that i know its who i am i dont know how to not be miserable im afraid to change any aspect of myself or my life even if theyre negative bc im afraid of the unknown. especially in regards to like adulthood like its scary its rly scary having to get a job and try to be an adult and do all these new things i just couldnt do any of it i couldnt even attempt any of it and i was stuck for a long long time bc of it. and the thing is i didnt even want to get unstuck or change or stop being miserable it was a comfortable misery i had no desire to get out of it

however ... i finally got a job this year which rly. set me up to start like functioning and everything i guess. it was so so hard in the beginning like adjusting to. doing something with my life after having spent the past two !!years literally just laying in bed being depressed. and like its still hard but its like. i can do it now. and i feel like i can do more now. like its made me feel more confident with just like. adulthood in general bc its kind of made me realize like i actually can do these things theyre not unattainable. and that its ok for me to want to start to change and like actually imagine a future for myself

like. i still have my moments obviously my depression and everything did not just disappear by any means but like. for the first time i feel like i dont have to be like that like i can actually take the steps to like being ok. like im working hard and learning to do new things and its difficult and its scary but its giving me the means to like move forward and help myself and everything which is something i never even wanted to imagine

i think my like main goal i made last year for 2018 was to get another job with like more consistent hours so i could actually start saving money and stuff and i. did do that. which is great and not something i thought id be able to do. im still only working part time but its definitely a step forward and its going well. i have the last of my cats vet bill to pay off next month and after that im no longer in debt and i can just start saving money. i rly want to be able to move out this year and again idk if ill be able to but it would be rly great to at least be in a place where its something i can seriously consider

also another thing is therapy/medication lol ill have to figure that out but. idk how to explain this but its something ive also been avoiding for a long long time my mindset towards it has pretty much been like. i didnt want it. but i wanted to want it. i didnt want to have to deal with the process of getting diagnosed/having to open up about things/just deal with all that i didnt want to do that at all it just seems so overwhelming and like so much and like. it still does but i kind of feel like its something i can also start seriously considering and kind of like im ready to like make it happen. again ill still have to like figure it out but it is something i actually do want now. which in itself is another rly big step for me lmfao

idk none of this is to say im like Better or anything bc im not by a long shot but its like. i can be. like im taking the steps to get better. and i actually want to get better which is the most significant difference between me now and me the past however many years. just the fact that i actually want to do something abt this like mess makes all the difference so. idk. idk what im actually going to accomplish this year if anything but the fact that im like doing something with myself every day and having goals im working towards and everything i think is more than enough like. im not gonna be down on myself for not accomplishing enough or anything bc ive done a lot and im doing my best finally so .

[transenbyhollis]

idk if my relationship with the ex roommate was abusive or not but im just gonna put down a bunch of stuff here. this is probably gonna be long so putting it under a readmore

ok so im beginning to realize that this all probably sounds pretty bad for him but KEEP IN MIND that his anger is a response to abuse and breakdowns are sometimes used to manipulate people. also every story has two sides and i dont know what he would say about all this. also for the first couple years or so he was really nice most of the time. super supportive. feel free to skim through this if you wanna know whats gonna on but dont want to read the entire lengthy tale.

so it started nearly five years ago. i met him my first year of college, we were in the same hall. i thought he was really cool. we didnt talk much that first year but we were friends i guess.

second year a lot of shit happened during the first term. the important thing is that it cemented our friendship. after that term we were rock solid. we spent all of our time together.

during the next term he briefly dated a girl we were friends with. idk if it was even dating really. the whole thing was a trainwreck. at one point i felt like i was losing him and i had a breakdown. it was then that he said he never wanted to make anyone more important than me. things went bad between them and then i noticed something was wrong. i wont go into everything that happened, but suffice to say he kept getting angry for reasons i still dont understand, she was frustrated and very stressed, and i was terrified and miserable.

after this, we were still pretty close. it was around this time that he told me we were in a queerplatonic relationship. now i was genuinely considering spending the rest of my life with this guy.

sometime around the same time the first red flag went up. he told me that he had gone through my phone, found my tumblr among other things, and read several months worth of my personal thoughts. i was kind of in shock when i heard this, so i didnt say much about it. this was also when he told me he had been sexually abused.

not too long after this is when a relationship began to grow between him and another friend of ours. i started to feel a distance growing between us, and this is when he really started to show his angry side. sometimes he would get angry and i would break down crying. this became a regular occurance.

there were some instances of him insistently trying to get me to come out to people. this was mostly in reference to a trans group that was beginning to form at this time. i did eventually give in, although at least once i had a breakdown and left crying because he got upset about it. also i sometimes i didnt feel good about leaving because once he made a comment about how i always run away when im upset so i basically begged for permission to leave.

there was also something that happened a couple times where he and his partner decided that i wasnt allowed to be alone and i physically attacked them and screamed at them before they would let me be alone in the bathroom for a few minutes. the second time this happened i was so angry i smashed a bunch of my belongings and then afterwards i apologized frantically and said some bs about being upset for religion related reasons.

after this, we had a conversation where i said i needed to be alone sometimes, and if they literally said i was not allowed to be alone i wouldnt ask, i would kick and scream until they agreed to let me be alone. he got upset because i made an analogy about a cliff and kept getting mad about that. i insisted that if they refused to let me be alone i would make them hate me.

there was a argument i had with him that ended with him essentially saying our friendship was over. i did not realize he was being sarcastic here. i went to the bathroom to cry. i asked his partner to come and told them that i was feeling very suicidal. they calmed me down a little and went to go arrange for all three of us to have a talk. i took several melatonin and tried to take a nap in the meantime, although that didnt work. later we met at the library. we had an argument about them being controlling and some other things. i remember he started to throw a chair. i broke down and went to the bathroom where i cried a lot. i texted him and apologized for wrecking our friendship. he said that he was the broken one and i said i thought we both were.

it was around this time i started medication. i told the doctor i was having problems with mood swings and so they put me on abilify.

at the end of this school year i moved in with them. towards the beginning there were some arguments about them being controlling and needing to know where i was all the time. we made a compromise where i would have some kind of board or something that i would uodate to say if i was feeling good, not so good, or bad. that never ended up being implemented tho. at some point the roommate who didnt totally suck told me they didnt want me to tell them when i felt like self harming and if i did they would call the police.

the angry outbursts and my terrified breakdowns continued. it escalated to the point where sometimes he was straight up screaming his head off at me for no discernible reason. sometimes i would break down if he so much as snapped at someone.

there was an incodent where i started crying when he was angry, and he told me essentially he didnt see why i would break down so easily and he was jealous of me for having such a good childhood. i told him that i was still suicidal and he started yelling at the other roommate to call the police. i kept asking why he was doing this and what he was trying to accomplish and he didnt respond. the police came, we talked a little, i said i would take a walk and calm down, and they left. i went to my room and had a panic attack. my roommates wanted to call the police again and i begged them not to. at some point one of them said something about me having a sheltered childhood.

a few weeks later we were grocery shopping and he got mad at me for not helping put the groceries in the car. at this point i decided to stop being friends with them because i couldnt handle it. later when we were at home someone asked me if anything was wrong or something like that and i said i decided earlier that i couldnt be friends with them. they told me to calm down and we talked about it. they asked me if there was anything else i wanted to tell them and i said there was something they had said that had made me uncomfortable some time ago. the rest of this was all dragged out of me, slowly and painstakingly. i told them that i didnt like when they said a sheltered childhood. they confirmed that sheltered basically said i hadnt had any problems. they asked me what problems id had and i said i felt that my relationship with my sister and with religion was somewhat abusive. they then dissected all the problems id had in my life to see if any of them were really that bad.

there were also a couple of other incidents, like that time he screamed his head off at me, smashed a bowl, and then apologized to his partner while i cleaned up the bowl. and the time he screamed at me for rescheduling an appointment. a lot of other shit happened but im not gonna talk about all of it.

a few weeks before i moved out, i told his partner that basically i couldnt handle his temper and screw him.

i am now going to mention again that breakdowns cam be manipulative, and his anger im fairly certain was a response to abuse, and for the first couple years at least he was very nice and supportive most of the time.