#ok that’s sounds fetishy
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HI GUYS SO IM ON S2 OF 911 AND IM INPATIENT AS FUCK SO I GOOGLED WHEN BUCK AND EDDIE GET TOGETHER BC I NEEDED TO KNOW HOW LONG I HAD TO WAIT AND THEY ARENT EVEN FUCKING TOGETHER??????? ONE OF THE REASONS I STARTED WATCHING THIS SHOW WAS BC OF A FIC I READ OF THEM SO I JUST ASSUMED THEY WERE CANNON? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
#IM LOSING MY SHIT RN#BE SO FUCKING FR THEY DONT EVEN MAKE OUT A LITTLE???#ok that’s sounds fetishy#I swear it’s not like that#I just#I’m in shock#I thought they were endgame and it turns out they were never together??????#lilly talks#somebody sedate me bc wtf#911#911 abc#911 show#911 fox#someone yell abt this w me please#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buck x eddie#what the FUCK#what the capital eff you see kay
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Ok little rant here because I keep seeing this kind of comments pop up.
Let’s talk Halsin and polyamory.
Because apparently making ace characters allo and gay characters straight is a crime against god, but nobody seems to care when poly identities are erased. I hate starting drama but it's honestly heartbreaking seeing how many people are happy to disregard Halsin’s polyamory entirely.
Does Halsin need better writing? Yes, he’s been done dirty by a rush job and Larian leaning a bit too heavily on the horny. But I think it's very telling that what some of you consider bad writing is the fact that you can't have a monogamous relationship with him.
I see people very hung up on this line:
Like this is some proof that Halsin secretly longs for monogamy but he’s too traumatized to admit it. Which is. Very insulting. He’s traumatized. He’s poly. The two things need not be related. If the only way you can conceive Halsin being poly is out of trauma, I don’t think I need to tell you just how yikes that sounds.
I’m personally not a big fan of this line. I always found it a little fetishy, like the game is giving you the go ahead to build a harem. But I’d also like to point out that the line doesn’t preclude the possibility he doesn’t want other partners right this moment, but might in the future.
People seem to conveniently forget the other instances where Halsin states his position on polyamory.
But all of this keeps getting brushed off in favour of that one line, because for some of you it’s inconceivable that a person would be capable of romantic attraction towards multiple partners. Like love from a polyamorous person is somehow lacking, weaker, less meaningful, inferior.
And it’s not just him, I’ve seen people pull this shit with Astarion and Shadowheart too, claiming that they’re lying when they say they’re ok with Halsin joining your bed. “He’s insecure!” “She’s lonely!” “They’re scared of being abandoned!” The implication here being that polyamorous people are broken, because nobody in their right mind would be ok having multiple partners, right?
Polyamory rarely if ever gets any decent representation, but god forbid you don’t take away the only scrap we get just because it makes you uncomfy.
#bg3#halsin#bg3 spoilers#this post may land uh badly#but the outcry for monogamy got to me#more than i expected tbh#let the big man love and be loved pls#by as many people as he wants#he deserves all the people
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“And we thought making a blog would be a fun use of our time while Lucas is visiting m—”
“HOLD IT.”
[Ninten comes in, nearly kicking the door down]
“I gave you the idea, don’t make it sound like you came up with it.”
“SHHHH I WAS… GETTING AROUND TO SAYING THAT.”
“Suuure.”
OOC:
This is a variant of my swap!AU where after the events of swap!mother 3, Claus is invited to fight in the Smash Tournament. Ninten is there as well in place of Ness, though the two aren't swapped otherwise—I just thought it’d be funny.
It should go without saying that this askblog is NOT canon to my swap!AU (that I. erm. still need to actually write), but may have aspects that Are canon!!
I will be tagging all askblog related stuff with #swap!m3 asks
OK:
Ship asks! (Though the main focus is the swap au itself, I am obviously a big clausten shipper and certainly wouldn't mind sprinkling it into the askblog. Lol)
Rp!! Though it's been a while since I've rped so apologies if I'm rusty
Magic anons/asks (perhaps?)
NOT OK:
Nsfw/suggestive asks (obviously.) if I spot an ask that looks oddly fetishy I will Not answer it
Spamming the same ask a billion times
Also, I'll have asks open now but won't be responding to them until next week!!
#swap!m3 asks#motherbound-askapalooza#mother 3#mother 3 swap au#lucas mother 3#claus mother 3#mothscribbles
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oooh can i request 🥶🤬🤧 for st/eddie?
Ok, so this ended up at 13.7k 💀 it just took over and I kept going - thank you so much for the prompt! 💕
E/ddie and S/teve had been planning to go to a concert together for months. The day of, however, they wake up sick and grouchy. Everything continues to spiral from there
~~~~~~
Content:
M/M, Established Relationship, both S/teve and E/ddie have the fetish, colds, contagion, mess, handjobs, fevers, they're just generally super fucking unwell but fuck about it anyway, fetishy dirty talk
CW:
Lots of fighting and angst, mentions of homophobia, Q slur is used
Some other notes:
- I've written E/ddie as having undiagnosed ADHD - nobody knows it's a thing, including him
- The fic is set in January 1988, so S/teve and E/ddie have been in a relationship for about a year and a half
- I'm a British person who cannot drive and has been to Indiana twice, I'm trying my best to make this scenario believable haha
Fic is v NSFW, so under a readmore! Hope you enjoy 🥰
If Eddie hadn’t been teetering on the edge of breaking point for the last several hours already, the car rolling to a miserable, sputtering stop out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere would have been the final straw. As it was, he didn’t know whether to scream or cry. So he sat there in astonished disbelief as Steve attempted to start the car, over and over. He watched his boyfriend slap the steering wheel in frustration through unblinking eyes.
“Steve. Steve? Are you fucking kidding me right now!? Why the fuck have we stopped??”
He watched the muscles in the younger man’s jaw tighten, refusing to look at him and instead frowning angrily out of the front window. His knuckles were white where they gripped the wheel, and Eddie could swear a vein was starting to bulge on his forehead.
“We better not be out of gas. Steve? Are we – are we actually out of gas??”
Radio silence as he continued to stare at Steve, growing more panicked by the second.
“Ste-“
“YES, okay?? We’re out of fucking gas. God damn it!”
Steve slapped the wheel again, grinding his teeth. Before he could help himself, Eddie burst into high pitched squeals of laughter. He sounded deranged, hysterical, but he supposed he was having a breakdown and there was nothing much he could do to prevent it. At least Steve was finally looking at him – though glaring would be the more appropriate term.
“What the fuck?”
Eddie concurred – what the fuck, indeed. But no matter how much he willed it, the nervous laughter would not stop. Steve had had enough, cursing as he got out of the driver’s seat and slamming the door behind him. It would do no good to check for any petrol – Eddie had told him they were running low, but Steve just hadn’t listened. He checked anyway – the metalhead watched in the rear-view mirror as he popped the trunk and rummaged for a full cannister, coming up empty. At least Eddie’s insane cackles had fizzled down to the occasional reedy giggle. Steve got back in his seat, slamming the door again.
Several minutes of almost silence passed, both men staring blankly into space. An awkwardly loud sniffle from Steve jolted Eddie back to the present. He watched as Steve lifted a broad palm to hover in front of his gaping mouth, nostrils twitching in preparation for the oncoming sneeze. Underneath the exhaustion, the anger and utter defeat, Eddie still found himself admiring his boyfriend’s profile, eyes fixed on his crumpling expression, almost on autopilot.
“Hh-HAH!! HAAAESHHH’uuu!! H’RRIIISSHHH!! TSCHHHH!! Mother fucker –“
Steve fumbled in the glove box for a tissue, a napkin, anything to clean himself up with. The powerful sneeze had not only drenched his palm, several droplets running down his wrist, but his nose had started to run down his lip. Again, his search was futile – they had long used up any tissue or bandana they had to hand. Eddie sat in contemplation for a moment, then sighed heavily before reaching into the back seat for his things. He opened his backpack, glanced sadly at his Black Sabbath ‘Born Again’ Tour t-shirt, before wordlessly thrusting it in Steve’s general direction.
He heard Steve pause, hesitating, before he gently took the shirt from Eddie. The older man thought he heard a small ‘thank you’, but it honestly wouldn’t have surprised him if it had been a ‘fuck you’ either. Eddie grimaced at the sound of Steve emptying his poor, congested sinuses into his prized possession, arousal and frustration warring in his stomach. He turned his head in time to watch Steve wipe his nostrils dry, painfully red from hours of similar abuse.
Those sneezes had been notably louder and even messier than the endless preceding ones, which had already been amping up in intensity over the past couple of hours, making driving an increasingly difficult task. Eddie wondered if the silver lining of being lost in the middle of nowhere was that Steve hadn’t gotten them into any major accidents by sneezing them into an oncoming vehicle. The thought didn’t help him one bit, however. Silver linings, my ass. Silver linings could fuck off and die – much like he wanted to, in this present moment.
He leaned his head back against the seat, eyes closing against anxiety that flowed through his extremities in waves, engulfing him in a paralytic sense of doom. He really needed to keep his cool, but he was failing miserably. He’d just have to ride it out for now, wait until the panic plateaued and subsided.
He considered their current situation – both of them sick, with what he now suspected was the flu, given how quickly it had come on and the way his head was starting to pound. They were lost; they had no gas and their car was stuck on the side of a road with nothing but cornfields surrounding them as far as the eye could see, like some god damn B Horror movie. They had no food, no more Tylenol, no tissues. They had been fighting for hours. They were tired. It was below freezing outside, and he could already feel the lack of heating. It didn’t take a genius intellect to deduce that they were well and truly Fucked with a capital F.
As if some decidedly non-divine higher power had a personal vendetta against him – a suspicion which Eddie had entertained several times throughout his life – his nose was starting to tickle, again. More accurately, his head was abuzz with the desire to sneeze within milliseconds, giving him almost no warning or buildup before he was jerked forward by a fit of intensely itchy sneezes.
“HhdTT’chiew! Hggxt! Hig’xt! Ehg’xxt! GXXT’CHieww!!”
He had stifled the first one by sheer willpower, able to pinch his wildly flaring nostrils shut between a thumb and forefinger for the next few. The last somehow managed to barrel past his wavering grip, slick nostrils slipping free. He shouldn’t be suppressing them like this – not now, not when he was ill and the only thing it would seek to accomplish was a burgeoning sinus infection. His head throbbed anew, and he squeezed his eyes shut against the pain, willing himself not to whimper.
“…You shouldn’t-“
“I know. Please. Just. Leave me alone.”
He knew that was the wrong thing to say, even after having said plenty of wrong things today already. He had heard the genuine concern in Steve’s voice when he spoke, and he could now feel that his previous anger had been rekindled, emanating from the former jock in almost tangible waves of resentment. He had often fucking hated his life before Steve, but this was the first time he’d ever fucking hated it since.
Steve was right, of course. He knew stifling would hurt him, and he normally reserved it for when he was unable to hold back an allergic fit in public. Here it was just him and Steve – his boyfriend, with the same fetish for sneezing as him. He should be sneezing with abandon, as he normally did around him. It pleased Steve, it pleased him, it didn’t hurt – what reason could he possibly have for bullying the sneezes into submission?
If he was being completely honest with himself, it was this: Steve didn’t deserve to hear them right now. It was possibly one of the pettiest things Eddie had ever thought, and he’d been plenty petty in his time. But right now, he wanted Steve to know how fucking pissed he was at him, even though it hurt to feel the same sentiment directed back at him. He had purposely twisted himself towards the passenger window as he sneezed, biting back the sound and hiding his face from Steve in entirety. He never thought he would be in a position where he didn’t want Steve’s roving eyes drinking in the visuals of his desperate pre-sneeze expression, but here he fucking was.
Eddie leaned his forehead against the window, eyes shut and jaw clenched. The cold glass against his skin felt wonderful, but it also made him shiver, confirming that he was indeed feverish. Just perfect. Wasn’t it enough that they would be missing the concert they’d been looking forward to for months, on top of fucking hating each other right now, without both of them being sick as a dog? He felt the threatening prickle of tears he’d been holding back for hours forming at the corner of his eyes, the final cherry on top of this shit sundae that was his day.
~~~~~~
Steve, for what it was worth, was feeling just as miserable as his boyfriend. Hell, he thought he probably felt worse – the guilt of ignoring Eddie’s warning about running low on gas burning like acid in the pit of his stomach. At the time, he probably even knew the older man was right; but he’d been so fucking angry with him already for fucking up their money that he’d barely listened to him. Admittedly, he’d been a grade A asshole ever since he woke up that morning, lurching forward with a throat-scraping sneeze, a nasty head cold already well settled in his sinuses. His prickly mood had practically invited friction with his sensitive boyfriend, who was also coming down with something himself.
He clenched the steering wheel with both hands and urged himself to calm down. The anger and frustration he’d been feeling almost nonstop for hours had left him shaking. Despite it all, despite how this was the angriest he had ever been with his boyfriend, he couldn’t help his almost pavlovian response to the older man’s irritated little sneezes. His traitorous dick throbbed against the tight confines of his levi’s. The fact that he couldn’t control his physical response just made him even angrier – it was a never-ending cycle of frustration that seemed to travel through him in an uncomfortable thrum. He hated feeling this way.
His sinuses buzzed and he reached up with a fist to rub at his nose, mashing it around so harshly he could hear the resounding wet squelching noises with each motion. He glanced at Eddie, finding him still slumped and motionless up against the passenger door, staunchly ignoring him. His turned back felt like a door closing in his face, the metalhead about as distant from Steve as he could possibly be whilst still sitting less than a few feet away from him. Eddie could be moody at times, but today was a whole new level of dramatics that Steve knew he had been the cause of. The sight of his boyfriend inching himself as far away from him as he physically could was incredibly painful, so Steve turned his gaze back to the steering wheel and tried to think.
They didn’t really have much of a choice either way – they would simply have to wait for someone to come by. He should’ve brought one of the walkie-talkies that had saved him countless times in his misadventures against Vecna, The Mindflayer, the Demodogs – but hindsight was 20/20 and perhaps given all the insane supernatural danger he’d been through, he’d neglected the very real possibility that the mundane could be dangerous too.
His head gave a sudden and sharp throb, wrenching him out of his thoughts as he cursed softly under his breath. He made a mental note to track down and kill the Family Video customer that had gifted him with this real sucker punch of a bug. The second the guy had walked in, eyes streaming and nose bright red, Steve should’ve hightailed it to the back of the store. But Robin was already off with another customer, and the guy beelined to the counter where Steve had been standing. He tried his best to smile welcomingly at him, pointedly looking anywhere other than his twitching pink nostrils.
The guy had asked Steve for recommendations on a date night movie, even as he took a damp wad of tissues from his pocket and pawed with it at his nose. Good luck with that date, buddy, Steve had thought whilst rattling off a list of romantic comedies that would fit the bill. He remembered that ‘Dirty Dancing’ had just come out on VHS, and the guy seemed to brighten at that idea, so Steve went to grab a copy for him. He handed it to the guy and hurriedly typed away at the computer, eager to get this dude and his germs out of the store.
He’d been so close, too, but as he turned to tell the poor guy to enjoy his movie, he’d been met with the sight of him sneezing, uncovered, down at his counter. To his credit, he seemed completely mortified, attempting to wipe the surface clean with an even dirtier tissue, but Steve had assured him through only slightly clenched teeth that it was okay, and to feel better. The man had all but sprinted through the door, and Steve set to sterilising the counter, disgust and arousal battling inside him at the realisation that the colossal sneeze had actually left visible droplets in its wake.
He should’ve known it would be his turn to get sick. It was January, and he’d made it all the way through December without so much as a sniffle, avoiding catching Robin’s cold earlier that month even after they’d cuddled their way through a movie marathon in her living room. It was practically unheard of that he would get through Winter without catching a cold. It was unheard of that he would only catch one. He had only hoped he could count on that good luck a little while longer, just long enough that he could enjoy the concert Eddie had been planning for months.
~~~~~~
Iron Maiden was not a band that Steve had cared to listen to, nor were horror movies something he cared to watch. Dating Eddie Munson meant that he didn’t really have all that much of a choice in the matter. Several months earlier, Eddie had convinced Steve to check out ‘Phenomena’ with him. The last film they’d watched together was ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’, which had quickly become one of Steve’s favourites – and despite his griping, he knew Eddie liked it, too – but he was well overdue a horror movie watch with his distinctly macabre boyfriend. It was totally worth it watching Eddie’s entire face light up, big brown eyes practically glittering with excitement, when Steve acquiesced.
“This one’s from Italy,” Eddie had told him enthusiastically as he pushed the VHS into the player, “But it’s supposed to have a totally metal soundtrack, and the director – you remember ‘Suspiria’, that movie with the ballerinas and witches?”
Steve had remembered, but it was less the witches that had terrified him than the dog suddenly ripping a guy’s entire throat out unprompted. He’d made Eddie escort him to and from the bathroom that night. He nodded.
“Well, that guy, Argento, he made this one, too!”
“Oh, goodie.”
Steve raised an arm against the offending cushion that Eddie flung down at him, the two wrestling briefly before settling in and focusing on the movie. Steve honestly found it horribly boring – it had that one girl from ‘Labyrinth’ in it, a movie Eddie and Robin gushed about regularly, but not much else was going on to keep him interested. In general, watching his boyfriend’s animated profile was much more entertaining.
It had been in a sudden chase scene, a young girl running from some unseen pursuer and towards a gruesome fate that ‘Flash of the Blade’ by Iron Maiden had started to play and Eddie had been head-banging rhythmically within seconds. He turned to Steve, completely and utterly ecstatic, child-like grin splitting his face, and Steve’s heart had been so full he’d been unable to do much more than smile dreamily at his boyfriend. When Eddie had eased up on the frantic fidgeting and belting out the lyrics alongside the movie, he’d snuggled up to him and breathed in the scent of his warm curls until he’d dozed off.
He’d woken up just before the movie had ended. A lake was burning or something like that. When Eddie had turned to him with a huge grin and asked him what his favourite part of the movie had been, Steve honestly answered “The part with the Iron Maiden song." Eddie beamed.
“You liked that song, Stevie?”
“Yeah, it was cool.” Steve answered, not entirely untruthfully. It was less the song itself – more that it animated Eddie in a way Steve would like to see every single day for the rest of his life.
“The lyrics are fuckin’ awesome, too – kind of like a D&D, intrepid knight kind of theme!”
“Totally.” Steve smiled at him.
“You know…The Maiden are coming to Indianapolis in January – I was gonna go with Corroded Coffin but they’re all busy that weekend, so – so what if we went, together? I know it’s not your thing, I totally get if you don’t wanna go, but-“
“I’ll go with you.”
Eddie looked so excited that Steve’s heart skipped a beat. Yes. More of that. Keep looking at me like that.
“Oh, fuck, are you serious, Stevie? Fuckin’ A, man! I need to get organised!”
~~~~~~~
And so, Steve had committed to the gig, nearly as excited as Eddie for their little trip up to Indy. It wasn’t often that they managed to get the time to spend more than their evenings together, even now that they finally had their own apartment. It had taken a great deal of planning, and it should have been perfect. But it had all gone to shit.
The first thing that went wrong, as noted before, was both of them waking up sick. They’d been grouchy, neither of them looking forward to the long drive ahead. Steve was resentful of the fact that he would be crammed in an arena jampacked with sweaty, drunken metal dudes, and Eddie was resentful of the fact that Steve was resentful. Steve hadn’t mean to put a damper on their mood, but he truly felt awful and couldn’t imagine a worse way to spend his evening. He would much rather stay bundled up in bed with his sick boyfriend, where they could look after each other and enjoy each other’s company in peace. Maybe when they felt a little better, they could really enjoy their mutual cold in a more…intimate fashion. But no. They’d committed with both time and money. Car journey and concert it was.
The second thing that had gone wrong, after a bumpy but still salvageable morning, was Eddie losing their food, medicine and other supplies that he had just bought at the first gas station they stopped at. They were good for water, a six pack of one litre bottles in the trunk, and they figured since they’d be grabbing dinner later that evening, a couple of sandwiches and snacks for the road would suit them fine. Steve had volunteered to head into the store, knowing how distracted his boyfriend could get, but Eddie had waved him off and insisted it’d be fine. When Eddie had strolled back to the car 20 minutes later, backpack slung lazily over one shoulder, Steve had asked him if everything was okay.
“More than okay, dude.” Eddie had grinned at him, then opened his backpack to reveal a freshly purchased bag of weed.
“Where did you-?”
“Ran into a previous client in the store – he deals now, and he gave me an old chum’s discount.”
Steve pulled out of the parking lot, thinking to himself that smoking up later on might make the miserable experience of being sick at a concert more bearable than if he’d been sober. It was about 10 minutes later that through the brain fog he realised he hadn’t seen Eddie carrying any kind of purchase from the store, and hadn’t seen anything but weed in his backpack.
“Munson, you did – get us food and stuff, right?”
Eddie, who had been lazily leaning back in his seat and rubbing at his nose with the palm of his hand, suddenly shot upright.
“Shit. SHIT.”
Steve jumped a little.
“What, dude?! Are you okay?”
Eddie groaned and buried his face in his hands.
“I left the stuff behind the gas station – I put the bag down when I was getting the weed.”
Steve gaped at him before cursing under his breath. He looked for the nearest opportunity to turn round and swung the car back in the opposite direction.
“What are you doing, man?”
“We might still be able to find it. I mean, what the fuck, Eddie? Drug deals?? Right now?”
Steve could feel the anger bubbling up steadily, his regular patience almost non-existent. Eddie was more than willing to rise to the occasion.
“It’s not like I meant to lose our shit, okay? I just – you know, I forget things.”
“That’s why I offered to go in myself!”
“I’m not an infant, Harrington, I can function well enough to buy crap at a store.”
“Clearly fucking not?! You left our stuff and spent our money on pot – thanks for fucking asking, by the way - when we could have easily found something closer to the gig. Like seriously, man, not cool.”
“UGH, I didn’t mean to leave it! I got distracted and I just – it was a good deal and I thought it would help us mellow out. That it would help you mellow out.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean.”
“Steve…..you can’t honestly tell me you don’t know how much of a fucking asshole you’ve been to me today?”
“I’m not the asshole who prioritised a fucking drug deal over food and medicine!”
“Ohh my god, Steve! I bought our fucking food, I bought our fucking medicine, I just forgot it, okay?! I forgot to pick the bag up off the ground, heaven forbid a guy make a mistake every once in while!”
Steve could see that Eddie was visibly upset, and he knew he felt awful about forgetting their things. He was about to apologise for overreacting when he noticed Eddie freeze up once again, patting his pockets frantically and moaning.
“What. Eddie, what? What’s wrong now?”
“….Can’t find my wallet. I think I left it in the bag.”
Steve could have sworn he saw red. They’d put almost all of their money together in Eddie’s wallet, leaving just enough for hotel fees in Steve’s, a stupid fucking thing to do in hindsight but something that neither of them had assumed would fuck them in the ass later.
“I genuinely don’t know what to say to you. Oh my fucking god.”
Steve saw Eddie wince out of the corner of his eye, and he realised he had quite possibly never hated himself more than he did in that moment. He was acting just like his father, but he couldn’t seem to stop. The anger was so palpable he could hardly breathe.
They drove the rest of the way back to the store in silence. Eddie was yanking the passenger door open before the car had even come to a full stop, sprinting towards the back of the store. Steve watched as his boyfriend emerged from behind the building empty handed several moments later, taking in his devastated expression. He swore loudly before resting his head on the steering wheel, motionless as Eddie got back into the car.
“…I found a ten in my pocket, but we might need it for gas later on.” He heard Eddie mutter.
“We don’t. We need food and medicine more.”
“No, dude, we’re gonna need more gas.”
“And I’m telling you, we don’t. Come on, I’ll buy us stuff this time.”
Steve looked over at the older man and held his hand out expectantly for the money. The look Eddie shot his way was lethal. The metalhead slapped the bill into his palm.
“Knock yourself out, mom.”
Steve got out of the car.
“Rather be a mom than a brat.”
He slammed the door behind him.
~~~~~~
“Hh-HH! Heh’ENGXT’tchieww!! HDT’Tsiewww!! Eht’tchieww! Hh’ISSSH’ieww!!”
Eddie’s head rocked forward with the force of the fit, clutching the steering wheel like a lifeline. Luckily he hadn’t veered off course too much this time. He noticed suddenly that Steve had reached out to steady the wheel while he sneezed, and though the gesture was perfectly reasonable, he was already so angry with him that it just served to piss him off more than anything. He snuffled and elbowed Steve’s hand away.
“Dude, I got this. Leave it alone.”
Steve threw up his hands and rolled his eyes, a supremely immature gesture that made Eddie resent him all the more. It was a sickening feeling, being angry with Steve, and on top of his worsening cold Eddie didn’t know how much more he could take. He was angry at himself, as well. He felt stupid, so fucking stupid. Steve was right to be pissed at him for the colossal fuck-up he had managed to achieve – hell, we would be pissed at Steve had their roles been reversed.
What really fucking stung, though, was the disappointment and derision his boyfriend had directed his way. It was nasty and it wasn’t like anything he’d ever experienced before from the former jock, even when he really had been an asshole at school. He was normally such a sweetheart. He understood that Eddie could lose track of time, forget what he was doing in any given moment. It was part of what had made school so miserable – he had tried his best but it was like no matter how much he tried to focus, he just couldn’t. Like his brain was on constant overdrive. He thought Steve had accepted that about him, really understood him. But the way he’d looked at him when Eddie had messed up at the gas station, the tone of his voice – it hurt so badly he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He knew Steve was sick, and that made him sulky, but fuck, man.
He heard Steve gasp beside him. They’d both started sneezing in earnest a few hours ago, raging their way through the small box of tissues Steve had managed to buy for them alongside a bottle of Tylenol and a single sandwich that they had split. They were down to just a few tissues.
“HAAAEEESHHH’uuu!! HARRESHHHIEWW!! TISSSSH’ieww!!”
Eddie listened in vague appreciation to the rich vocal sound of Steve’s increasingly violent cold sneezes, wishing he didn’t hate him so much in that moment so he could enjoy them in full. He was concerned at the way they had Steve tumbling forward over his knees, jerking against the restraint of his seat belt. Any thought of them actually having a good time at this concert had all but vanished at this point, but to admit that out loud would be to admit defeat, and mean they’d put themselves through all this misery for fucking nothing.
Steve swiped the last two tissues from the box and blew his nose, a thick, crackling sound that betrayed just how congested he was becoming. Two wouldn’t be enough, Eddie knew, and his suspicions were confirmed when Steve rooted in his pocket to finish cleaning himself up with a used, balled-up tissue. Eddie sighed. He had a few bandanas in his backpack – he could offer one to Steve now, but he just couldn’t stand the thought of talking to him.
They drove for another 30 or so minutes before Eddie started to pull up to a gas station. Steve sat up and looked at him questioningly.
“Why are we stopping at a gas station?”
“To watch a fucking movie.”
“Eddie-“
“We’re fucking obviously getting gas, Steve - we’re not gonna last the rest of the drive.”
“With what money are you getting gas?”
Eddie glared at Steve, patience worn completely thin. God, the way he was talking to him like he was his fucking dad, or something. It was infuriating.
“We still have the money in your wallet – it would only cost a couple of bucks.”
“No, no – we worked it out, this is just enough for our hotel. We can’t show up short, they’d turn us away.”
“They’re not gonna get the chance to turn us away if we don’t even ghh-get th-there-hh!!”
Eddie scrubbed at his flaring nostrils in a desperate attempt to mollify the tickle, but luck was decidedly not on his side today.
“Ehh-!! EGXXXT’shiewww!! HAHDT’chieww!! IGSHHH!! HIGXT’shieww!! EHH’TSSCH’ieww!! Ahh…F-fuck…”
The sneezes were intense and incredibly wet, curling him over the steering wheel and forcing tears of irritation from his eyes. He felt Steve reach out to steady the wheel again, this time not fighting it. He was almost trembling in the aftermath of that fit, an unwelcome combination of pleasure and frustration prickling at his skin. He sniffled miserably.
“Bless you.”
He blushed in response to the blessing, neither of them having acknowledged each other’s sneezing for hours. Perhaps Steve had temporarily forgotten to be angry with him, given the dramatic scene he had just made. For the first time in their relationship, he cursed their shared fetish - it was making things increasingly complicated. He did not like the mixed signals his brain was sending him – ‘never talk to Steve ever again’ and ‘fuck Steve in the back seat right now’ were about as contradictory as could be, and the confusion only made him grumpier.
He continued to drive towards the gas station, about to pull in when Steve’s hand, still firmly wrapped round the wheel, twisted them away. Eddie yelped in surprise.
“Are you fucking insane, Harrington?! What are you doing?!”
“We don’t need gas, Munson. I told you already.”
Eddie could hardly believe what was happening. He had never known Steve to behave so – so childishly. It was fucking rich, considering the brat accusation Steve had hurled his way earlier that day. He smacked Steve’s hand away and continued onward past the gas station.
“Fine. If you fucking say so, King Steve.” He got a small kick of satisfaction watching Steve squirm in response, but otherwise saying nothing.
“We’re switching in 20 minutes.” Steve mumbled after a beat.
Eddie grunted in recognition. He wondered if Steve realised he wasn’t due to drive for another hour, but he was feeling far too petty and passive-aggressive to correct him.
~~~~~
Eddie was practically tearing his hair out. Some way, somehow, they had managed to get lost. Like, middle of nowhere, cornfields for days lost. Both of them had driven to Indianapolis before without a single issue. This had to be a curse. It just had to be.
The road map spread out over his knees made zero fucking sense – it didn’t help that Steve wouldn’t let him turn on the overhead light, and he was instead holding a torch with half-dead batteries casting a flickering beam over the endless configuration of road diagrams. He was starting to feel a little car sick for his efforts, taking short breaks to peer out of the window and find his bearings. The last of the Tylenol was doing fuck all for him, and he could not. Stop. Sneezing. Case in point, his breath started to hitch yet again.
“Heh-!!”
He fumbled in his pocket for his bandana, almost but not quite bringing it up to cover his mouth in time.
“ENGXTCH’tssieww!!”
The first sneeze burst out of him, pink nostrils flared wide in desperation, dousing the map in his lap with a cloud of spray. He muffled the next three into his bandana, gasping for breath when they finally subsided. This cold – this flu, perhaps – was absolutely kicking his ass. These sneezes gave him hardly any warning, taking on a life of their own and pitching him forward helplessly at their leisure. He blinked down at the map through bleary eyes, noticing to his chagrin that he had sneezed a veritable puddle all over Columbus and the surrounding terrain of about 20 miles. Luckily, not an area they should be anywhere near – though perhaps it couldn’t completely be written off given that they could literally be on god damn Mars as far as Eddie was concerned.
He abandoned the map, attempting to fold it neatly for all of 5 seconds before he was scrunching it up in anger and jamming it back into the glove box. Steve had stopped listening to his suggestions ages ago, anyway. He just kept driving down the endless expanse of the pitch black road, sneezing explosively every couple of minutes. Eddie was no longer glancing at his wristwatch, slowly resigning himself to the fact that they would, in fact, be missing the concert in its entirety. He would cry about it later when Steve couldn’t see. Right now, he was trying not to freak out about the fact that he could have sworn they had driven down this particular spread of infinite road before – not that it looked any different, the only visual markers being corn to the left, corn to the right, corn fucking everywhere.
It's not like this could get any worse.
It was as this traitorous thought flashed through Eddie’s mind that he heard Steve curse and pull the car to the side of the road, just as it sputtered miserably and abruptly stopped dead in its tracks.
~~~~~
They’d been sitting there in silence for at least 10 minutes before Steve started to shiver. It was well into the evening now and the lack of heating of any kind was really starting to get to him. His eyes had adjusted to the dark, at least – it wasn’t that bad, out here. The night sky was even brighter than Hawkins, brimming with the light of a billion stars. He remembered the night that Eddie had taken him up to Weathertop Hill and they’d stargazed for hours, never letting go of each other’s hands. The thought of it right now made his chest hurt. He was positive that Eddie would no longer want to be with him, not after today. In a sad way, he was already in a phase of pre-emptive acceptance – a form of self-protection where he convinced himself that the worst was bound to happen, so he may as well get ready for it. Robin told him he had low self-esteem, but he liked to think of it more as emotional pragmatism.
A sudden small hiccup of breath jolted Steve out of his ruminations. He peered over at his (probably soon to be ex) boyfriend’s back and noticed it was trembling. Another slightly louder gasp of breath graced the air and Steve realised with a sickly, sinking feeling that Eddie was crying. Eddie was crying because of him. Steve had felt pretty fucking awful about his behaviour in the past but nothing, nothing compared to how awful he felt in this moment. The pain in his chest seemed to pulse outwards and engulf him in its entirety.
“….Eddie? Baby?”
His voice sounded so fragile he even shocked himself. Eddie froze for a second before continuing to cry softly, giving Steve nothing in response. Steve noticed that the trembling had become full body shaking. He opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by a fit of sneezes that came on so quickly he only managed to catch the last one in Eddie’s ruined shirt.
“HEEEISSSHHH!! AEEESHHUUU!! HH’TISHHHH!! MMP’TSCHHH!!”
He blushed, wishing not for the first time in his life that he was able to control the volume and force of his sneezing. He normally loved sharing this fetish with Eddie, but in this moment it couldn’t be more of an inconvenience. He blew his nose as quietly as possible, which was not at all, before reaching out a tentative hand to rest in the centre of the older man’s spasming back. He felt Eddie flinch, but he didn’t move away. Steve frowned at the heat emanating beneath his palm, sizzling hot even through the fabric of Eddie’s long-sleeve tee. It startled him, given that he was sure he already had an elevated temperature himself – shouldn’t Eddie feel normal to him? Was he that much warmer?
He felt Eddie’s back expand under his fingertips before the older man was suddenly jerking forward with a series of tightly stifled sneezes, the first five almost completely silent besides a soft squelching sound. Steve rubbed a small circle between Eddie’s shoulder blades in a way that he hoped would be soothing, biting his bottom lip hard as concern coursed through him. Eddie continued to sneeze, finally giving in and letting them loose, the persistent cold-induced tickle leaving him gasping helplessly.
“HIG’tchieww!! Engxt’TCHIEWW!! ‘TCHIEWW!! Eh’NGXT’Tschieww!! Nnn….”
He’d thoroughly sprayed his palm with the fit, which he then wiped shakily on his thigh. Steve heard him sniffle thickly before drooping back against the windowpane. He leaned forward in his seat and placed his other hand on Eddie’s left shoulder.
“Eddie? Are you okay, honey?”
He heard Eddie mumble incoherently before a rumbling cough had him pitching forward again, muscles spasming under Steve’s palm with the effort. Steve cursed and rubbed his back through it. When Eddie’s breath evened out again, Steve used the hand on his shoulder to gently push him back into his seat. The metalhead still wouldn’t look at him, eyes stubbornly fixed to the right, but Steve barely noticed. He took in Eddie’s pale, tear-stained face, the heavy circles under his eyes, his painfully red nose which was leaking down to his lips. He looked pallid, and so, so unwell. His cheeks had little spots of colour on them, a sure sign of fever. Steve felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.
“Ohh, Eds….”
He choked out a sob. It was too much. He hadn’t cried since the aftermath of their stint with Vecna, alone in Robin’s bathroom - and even that had been measured, controlled. He didn’t cry. Harringtons don’t cry. But all the same, here he was, bawling like a little kid. He felt sick, he felt like an asshole, they were lost and cold and hungry and tired and it felt like the end of the world so he just cried and cried and cried.
~~~~~
Eddie had intended to ignore Steve to his final breath. He was too weak to resist as the younger man pushed him back in his seat and out of the passive-aggressive contortion he had worked himself into against the car door. That last fit of sneezes had left his head swimming, and he was honestly grateful for the comfortable upholstery of his boyfriend’s BMW. Even as angry as he was, the warmth and weight of Steve’s hand on his back had been, for a moment, the most reassuring feeling in the world. But Steve didn’t need to know that. Steve could damn well wait until he was ready to forgive him.
But then Steve started crying.
Eddie spun round, eyes fixing firmly on Steve’s crumpled expression. It was terrifying, like seeing a parent or teacher or other unshakeable adult cry for the first time and realising they’re just an overgrown kid themself. His boyfriend looked so vulnerable, so lost, so unbelievably sad that Eddie found that he burst into tears as well. His strong, powerful boyfriend, the same man who had leapt headfirst into a lake in pitch darkness, who had ripped a demon bat monster in two with his bare hands, who had faced paranormal monsters to protect his friends countless times – that man, his Stevie, was crying like a little boy who’d lost his mommy in a supermarket. And it was all his fault.
He reached up and squeezed the hand on his shoulder.
“Stevie…Please don’t cry, Steve, please! It’s ok! We’re ok!”
He was sobbing almost as hard as Steve, ignoring the way the pounding in head was swelling to an almost unbearable throb. He leaned his body awkwardly over into Steve’s seat and wrapped his arms around him in a fierce hug. Fighting be damned, this entire fucking nightmare of a day be damned. He just wanted Steve to stop crying like the world was ending before he actually died of a broken heart.
“Eddie-!! I’m s-sorry-!” Steve choked out where he had buried his face against his shoulder, fingers digging fiercely into Eddie’s back. Eddie shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Stevie – I fucked it up! I always fuck things up!”
Admitting it out loud sent a new wave of sadness rushing through him and he cried harder, squeezing Steve tight.
“Y-you don’t-! You’re not-! It was m-my fault, I was just….awful to you! You didn’t do anything wrong, I fucked it up-!”
Steve sounded close to hyperventilating, so Eddie willed himself to calm down for the both of them. He shushed him gently, stroking his hair and holding his body close as it was wracked with gasping sobs. He’d been such a petty tool, trying to punish Steve with his silence. Steve had been right before – he was a brat, at least he had been today, and he needed to fucking grow up.
“Shh, honey….it’s ok, we were both being fucking assholes. We are fucking assholes, and that’s why we work so well together. We’re soul holes!!”
Steve snorted a brief laugh between sobs and Eddie felt the icy fingertips of dread loosen slightly from where they’d been squeezing his temples in a death grip. He could fix this. As long as they could love each other, everything else was insignificant. They would be okay.
He continued to hold Steve, ignoring the way his back was starting to protest at the angle he was holding himself at. The younger man was starting to calm down, occasional hiccupping breaths shaking him but otherwise slowing his crying. Eddie pressed small kisses to his hair, conscious of his runny nose and trying his best to angle himself in a way he wouldn’t make a total mess of the expertly crafted style Steve was so proud of.
He felt Steve tense in his grip, and started to ask what was wrong when Steve rocked forward against the protective cover of his shoulder and sneezed violently.
“HEHH’MPPTSXHH!! MPP’TSCHIEWW!!! MPPPTSCHHH!!!”
Eddie’s breath hitched, blood rushing south as he felt every shiver, every contraction of Steve’s muscular body in his arms. The sensation of his pointed nose pressing insistently up against his shoulder and the sheer volume of each sneeze so close to his ear had him reeling. They’d been particularly high-pitched for the former jock, making Eddie think he must have had a particularly irritating tickle in his nose. He moaned softly and stroked Steve’s back.
“Bless you, honey. Poor baby,” he sighed, noting that Steve hadn’t made any action to extract his face from where it remained pressed firmly up against him. He could feel the moistened fabric clinging to his skin.
“Did you make a mess, sweetheart?”
“….Ymmf.”
Eddie took that as a ‘yes’.
He gently sat back in his seat, extricating himself from Steve and watching as his boyfriend’s flushed, dripping face came into sight. A thick strand of mess hung between Steve’s left nostril and the damp patch on Eddie’s shirt. Steve scrambled for the shirt in his lap, gingerly wiping the mess away on Eddie’s shoulder and severing the connection before bringing it up to his own nose. His eyes were puffy and sore as he peered up at Eddie, blushing behind the bundle of fabric pressed to his face.
Eddie reached out and squeezed Steve’s thigh. A sudden sharp pain speared through his skull and he audibly groaned, pressing his head back against his seat. Steve took his hand in his own. They sat for a moment, not talking, but for the first time that day the silence was comfortable.
~~~~~
Steve’s head throbbed in the aftermath of what had to be one of the most intense cries of his life. It wasn’t something he wanted to experience in any regular capacity. He was also terribly embarrassed, even though it was just Eddie who had seen him. Robin was constantly reminding him that it was healthy to accept when you needed help, or to recognise when you were approaching your limit. Some metaphor about a pot boiling over that had just made Steve’s mind wander to the food he had planned to cook for when the kids came round to his apartment later that week. The point being, he should definitely work on his listening skills and Robin was right. Again.
He could feel Eddie shaking as he held his palm in his own. The older man was leaning back into his seat with a pained expression plastered to his face. Steve cleared his throat.
“So….”
Eddie squeezed his hand.
“Yeah, Big Boy?”
“On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being ‘this is a total downer’ and 10 being ‘I would like to request some assistance in dying’, where are you at right now?”
He heard Eddie chuckle before moaning softly.
“About a gazillion. I feel….really fucking bad, Stevie.”
Steve turned his head to take in the older man’s appearance once more. He was deathly pale, looking even worse than he had just 10 minutes earlier. Steve tried not to panic.
“You look awful, Eds…” he cooed.
Eddie cracked a crooked smile at him.
“You sure know how to make a guy f-feel…special-hh’HH!! ENGXT’Chieww!! HDDT’chieww!! IGSHHH’ieww!! Hhh’HDT’chieww-IGT’chieww-ICKKSHH!! Ohhh, Jesus…”
Steve was unable to make out the spray in the dark, but he could hear just how wet and sickly each sneeze sounded. His cock throbbed in his jeans, unbelievably still as interested in Eddie’s impressive displays of sensitivity as ever. Eddie snuffled thickly and Steve held out the soiled shirt to him. Eddie took it and blew his nose on a dry spot, of which there were now exceedingly few. Steve rubbed his thumb in circles on the back of Eddie’s hand. His boyfriend groaned before speaking again.
“Ugh, I can’t fucking stop. This has to be some new kind of super plague.”
“Well, it’s no walk in the park, that’s for sure.”
He felt Eddie squeeze his hand.
“What about you? Scale of 1 to 10?”
Steve paused, doing a quick mental scan of his general wellbeing. He felt like ass.
“…A billion, maybe? Not as bad as you.”
Eddie scoffed.
“You’ve gotta be feeling pretty bad to cry like that.”
Steve bristled, embarrassment pulsing through him.
“I-!! You were-! I just-!”
“Woahhh, dude, it’s okay – I’m not mocking you, or anything. I was cryin’ too. Before you even started. It’s no big deal, Stevie. I just know it’s not something you do very often – or, at all, actually?”
Steve sighed.
“Yeah. You know – you know my dad. How he feels about – vulnerability, or whatever.”
“Yeah.”
Steve felt the ever-present tickle in his sinuses flicker to life, suddenly and with little warning. He pitched forward with another round of messy cold sneezes.
“HH’RIISHHHH!! HAARRRESHEWW!! ITSSCHHHH!!”
“Engxt’chiew!! Hh!! HIG’Tchieww!! Ingxt’chieww!! ENGXT’TCHIEWWW!!”
Steve and Eddie made eye contact at the same time, sheepishly turning to look at one another behind their protective barriers of choice – Steve’s hands, steepled to his face, and Eddie’s elbow, which he gripped steadily with his other arm. They burst into laughter, stopping only when Steve buckled forward with a coughing fit, Eddie whacking him on the back as he proceeded to sputter and choke. He finally leant back, wiping the spittle from his lips.
“What the actual fuck is our life right now, dude.”
“You know? I think it’s actually pretty on brand for us, man.”
Steve shot a sardonic glance his way.
“Elaborate.”
“Just, you know – the first time I really spoke to you outside of the occasional encounter at school? I was literally on the run, a god damn murder suspect. We fought demon monsters in an alternate dimension. I figured out you liked me because we have this fucking obscure fetish and you kept popping boners all allergy season.”
Steve groaned.
“Shut upppp…”
Eddie didn’t shut up.
“What I mean, is this: we’ve never done anything in an even remotely conventional fashion. I think I may genuinely be allergic to conformity. What’s another allergy to me?”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I am. We are. It’s fitting that our first real fight be such a huge, dramatic affair that ends with us freezing to death on the side of a country road. Poetic, some might say.”
“We’re not going to die out here, man. Somebody’ll come by.”
Even as Steve said it, he was doubtful. They’d been driving alone for hours before the car had stopped and nothing had come from either direction since. More worryingly, though, was the fact that he could now see his own breath, and Eddie’s teeth were starting to chatter. He fiddled with the ring on Eddie’s index finger.
“Let’s get in the backseat, share some body heat, okay?”
He watched Eddie nod briskly, face scrunching up.
“Okay. Want to hold you. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. It’s okay though, remember? It’s okay.”
~~~~~~
Twenty minutes later and the two were bundled up in the backseat of Steve’s car. They’d at least remembered to bring coats with them, but otherwise assumed due to the heat of the venue and the quick turn around from car to hotel to venue to car, they wouldn’t need such heavy padding. Luckily, Steve found an old blanket in the trunk from the last time they’d gone on a picnic, which was now firmly secured around them. Eddie complained the blanket was too scratchy, but Steve had replied that there was no way he could tell through his thick Winter parka. Eddie had eventually conceded.
Steve had wedged himself against the car door, the hood of his thick coat offering some cushioning. Eddie was lying in his arms, his back up against Steve’s chest, head resting on his shoulder. They nestled into each other, desperately seeking each other’s warmth. Eddie felt like a furnace to Steve – which, given the circumstances, was not unwelcome, but it worried him to no end that the long-haired man continued to shiver in his arms despite their combined heat.
They had retired Eddie’s Black Sabbath shirt as an honorary snot rag, moving on to Steve’s extra polo shirt as their new makeshift tissue. It was currently pressed up against Eddie’s face as he shook with yet another sneezing fit.
“ENGXT’tchieww!! HDDT’tchieww!! TSCH’ieww!! HAGT’TSCHIEWWW!!! Uhgg…”
He snuffled thickly, settling back against the younger man. Steve’s cock was hard, pressed up as it was against Eddie’s lower back. He loved being able to experience every tremor, every jerk that travelled through his poor love’s body as the sneezes rocked him back and forth. He knew Eddie could feel how excited he was, but they both ignored it.
The metalhead had suggested fooling around to keep them warm, and Steve had even entertained the idea, thinking he could maybe get past the tight band of tension squeezing at his temples. An orgasm might even lessen the discomfort. But then Eddie had all but swooned to the gravelly earth the second he attempted to get out of the car, and Steve had nipped that idea in the bud almost instantly. He sprinted over to his boyfriend and helped him to his feet – slowly, since that sprint had left his head swimming and black spots dancing before his eyes. He’d deposited Eddie in the backseat, grabbed the blanket, and arranged them as best he could.
Eddie had wanted to be the big spoon, but Steve had flat out refused, stating that he didn’t want to be responsible for squashing the older man to death in his weakened state. He had at least 20 pounds on him and the pressure of his solid musculature pressing the dungeon master up against the door was a surefire way to suffocate him. Eddie had argued that Steve was faring no better than he in the oxygen department, pointing out that he was still winded by the tumultuous journey from trunk to backseat. Steve told him to bite him. Eddie reached out and nibbled on his forearm.
So here they were, mercifully settled at last. Or, as settled as they could be, given that they were frequently curled upwards or jostled backwards by their damn near constant sneezing. As Eddie scrubbed his itchy nostrils against the fabric of the shirt, Steve pressed kisses to his fuzzy curls.
“Bless you, baby. That was a big one, at the end.”
“Mmm. They’re conspiring to kill me.”
Steve snorted.
“’They’? Your sneezes?”
“Absolutely. Always been out to get me, but now they’ve finally decided to put me out of my misery.”
“So dramatic.”
Eddie fidgeted in Steve’s arms, trying to realign himself to the choice position he had been in before his cold had so rudely uprooted him. Steve bit his lip as Eddie rubbed up against his cock, holding back a moan. The older man seemed to find a position he was happy with and went boneless against Steve, letting out a tiny little mewl of satisfaction. Steve tightened his arms around him, an overwhelming wave of affection urging him to draw his boyfriend closer to him.
“You’re so cute, Munson.”
“I know. Now tell me I’m pretty.”
“You’re so pretty.”
“Flatterer. Keep it coming.”
“You’re s-so-! Ohh, gonna-!! HH’HEH!!”
Eddie lifted the shirt in his grasp, angling it back over his shoulder. Steve frantically pressed his face into the folds, inhaled deeply enough to lift Eddie up an inch or two, and sneezed forcefully.
“HRRRRSHH’MPH!! TISHHHHH!! HAEEESHHH!! HEH-!! HEYYYESSSHEWWW!!!”
He groaned in the aftermath, head pounding. Eddie was right, this did feel like some kind of super plague. He was sneezing every couple of minutes or so like clockwork, and every fit seemed to wipe him out as if he’d finished running a marathon. He panted into the cloth for a moment longer, feeling his boyfriend clumsily wipe his nose and mouth as best he could from the awkward angle. He nodded, signalling it was ok for Eddie to lower the shirt. He felt the older man squirm slightly, curls brushing against his face as he angled himself back to press a soft kiss to his jaw.
“God bless you, Stevie. Such a tickle.”
Steve blushed at the attention, his cock giving an appreciative throb in his jeans. He once again entertained the idea of fucking in the backseat, was about to vocalise this when Eddie hissed in pain, head pushing back and digging into Steve’s shoulder. He could see the grimace on the older man’s face.
“Baby?”
Eddie didn’t answer, riding out what Steve knew to be another round of deep throbs in his skull. Brow furrowed in concern, he stroked an arm gently up and down his boyfriend’s side as the dungeon master strained against him. His erection was flagging, momentarily catching up to the seriousness and decided unsexiness of the situation they were in. The older man finally seemed to relax, a shaky exhale leaving him. Steve nuzzled his face down into his curls.
“Feel so bad, Stevie…gettin’ worse…”
Eddie was panting slightly, the small puffs of exhalation visible in the frigid air.
“I’m sorry, honey.”
He didn’t know what else to say. He could feel his own body starting to ache, head swimming with fever. It’d only been an hour since their car had died, but they’d gotten so much sicker in that time that Steve was starting to worry in earnest. He didn’t think they would die, nothing quite so dramatic as that, but they would need more water soon at the pace they were needily gulping it down, and he was worried about Eddie’s fever. If Robin were there – god, how he wished she was – she’d tell him to worry about himself as well, before rattling off about a billion different contradictory fever reduction techniques. He smiled at the thought of her, his partner in crime, feeling slightly better for picturing her face.
He reached for a bottle of water and took a long drink before offering it to Eddie, forcing him to drink as well. When they were finished, he snuggled down again into his boyfriend’s curls.
“We’ll be okay, Munson. We survived the Upside Down, we can survive rural Indiana.”
~~~~~
Eddie had no idea how long it had been by the time he heard the familiar rumbling of an approaching vehicle through the foggy haze of his fever. He and Steve were in a state of persistent half-consciousness. They would both be right on the brink of sleep when one of them would succumb to a tickle in their nose, shaking them both to full wakefulness. It had gotten progressively less jarring after the fiftieth time; it almost felt routine.
The metalhead could feel Steve’s cock, half-hard, pressing up against him. He ought to be surprised his boyfriend could still feel arousal given their less than stellar circumstances, but then he would absolutely be the proverbial kettle calling the pot black. His own erection would come and go with every fit of sneezes from either himself or his boyfriend, making him feel like a horny middle schooler. He was almost glad he was too sick to be embarrassed about it. Almost.
He had just finished mumbling a blessing to Steve, his boyfriend having sprayed down the front of his coat with a fierce triple, when the unmistakeable crunch of tires on gravel perked him up faster than an espresso shot.
“Steve? Steve! I think there’s a car – no, yeah, there’s a fucking car, man!”
“Holy shit!”
He felt Steve start and attempted to shuffle off him, but found himself flopping helplessly backwards, entirely winded by the effort.
“Ugh, sorry…”
Steve gently rocked him forward and quickly arranged him so that he was sitting up in his seat, before kissing his cheek and scrambling onto the road.
“Be careful-!” Eddie shouted, immediately regretting raising his voice as he doubled over with a hacking cough. He brought the nearby water bottle to his lips with shaking hands and took a generous swig, gasping. He could make out the headlights of a van pulling up behind them, then the rumbles of a conversation. Alongside Steve’s voice, a rougher, deeper voice registered. A man, then. He swallowed the fear that this guy might clock them as a couple of queers – or maybe he was a serial killer? They were screwed either way. He closed his eyes and listened. No shouting, just a gentle back and forth. He heard Steve sneeze, then the other man chuckle. It was a friendly sound. He relaxed a little.
He started slightly at the sound of the door beside him opening, looking up to see Steve leaning over him.
“Hey, Eds. Great news, this guy – Leonard – he’s heading straight to Indianapolis. Before you ask, don’t worry, I saw his ID. He’s delivering deckchairs, or something? Anyway - he’s got some gas for the car, but when I told him we were sick he said we could ride in the back of his truck and he’d tow us the rest of the way.”
Eddie smiled softly, happy to see Steve looking a little more animated, even if he did look like death warmed up. The eye bags he was sporting made his droopy brown eyes look even lazier than usual. It was worrying, but still cute. Steve held out a hand and helped him climb out of the car. He felt shaky on his legs, like a baby deer. Glancing over Steve’s shoulder he spotted a jovial, middle-aged man approaching with a tow rope. He was sporting a flannel shirt over a pendulous beer belly, peaked cap on his head and a huge copper beard engulfing his face. He looked rough, but his eyes were kind and his smile was soothing.
“You must be Eddie!” Leonard said, walking over to them. He frowned a little as he took in the sight of the two of them up close. “Christ, boys, you look just about dead on your feet! Pardon me sayin’.”
Eddie huffed a small laugh.
“No, you’re right. We’ve been…better.”
Leonard smiled at him, looking paternal and endeared. Eddie liked the guy already – he sort of reminded him of Wayne, albeit a much more chipper Wayne.
“Well, don’t you worry. You and Steve just hop on in the back of the ol’ dream machine and I’ll take you far as you need to go. Y’all said you’re heading to Indy?”
“That was the plan.” Steve confirmed, trying to sniffle as discreetly as possible.
“Great – like I said, I’m heading straight over there, but if you’d prefer, I know a decent little motel just outside city limits that’ll have some vacancies?”
“That would be great,” Eddie almost moaned, thinking that even the grubbiest motel mattress in the world would be heaven right about now.
“Sure thing, sure thing. Well, we should be there in less than hour, give or take.”
“Um, Leonard? I meant to ask but – where exactly are we?” Steve asked.
“Just outside of Rushville.”
Eddie and Steve gaped. They’d somehow managed to clear straight past Indianapolis altogether and keep on south. Their faces must have successfully conveyed their almost comical shock, as Leonard bellowed out a rumbling laugh.
“You boys really got the short end of the stick today, huh? Come on, get your asses in the truck – I’ll finish up here and we can get on the road.”
“Thank you, Leonard, really – this is – we were really in a rough place-“ Steve started.
“Don’t you worry, now. Go on, get – there are tissues in the back. I get hayfever something fierce come Spring.”
Eddie watched Steve nod before his strong arm was wrapped around his waist, supporting the metalhead as he walked them both to the Truck in question. They had to pause briefly for Eddie to sneeze, a helpless little fit of six partially stifled paroxysms. Leonard offered a cheery blessing from where he was securing their car, and Eddie blushed. It was going to be a long hour.
~~~~
Steve woke up, slowly, pulled out of sleep first by the slow halt of the truck and then the gentle rumble of Leonard’s voice.
“Boys? We’re here. Rise and shine, now.”
Steve blinked open his eyes, taking in Leonard’s kind expression as he leaned back over his shoulder to look at them. The former jock was aware of the weight of Eddie’s head on his shoulder, and with a sudden icy rush of panic moved to gently push him away. It wasn’t that he thought Leonard would do anything to them, per se, but they needed to be careful. Eddie already attracted so much attention, not that Steve would change anything about him for the world – but still.
Eddie groaned and sat up gradually, squashing his fists up against his eyes and moving them in slow circles. Steve noticed that his boyfriend had left a little pool of saliva – or was it snot – where he’d been resting on his shoulder. They’d both fallen asleep within minutes, the blessed heating of Leonard’s dream machine wrapping warmth around them like the plushest of blankets. Steve was relieved, having been prepared for the embarrassing scenario in which he and Eddie sneezed nonstop all over the inside of the poor man’s vehicle for 50 minutes straight. He was already extremely grateful and a little shocked that Leonard had taken in the sight of their painfully obvious illness and let them ride with him in the first place.
“You boys went out like a light. Sure is nice to be young, huh?”
Steve felt Eddie jump beside him, and realised the older man had temporarily forgotten where he was. He patted him on the shoulder before turning back to Leonard.
“I’m so sorry we just passed out on you, sir. We didn’t make for good company at all.”
“Don’t you worry about that, son. You looked like you needed a decent night’s sleep. Speaking of, you should be able to get some more shut-eye at this little establishment. ‘Rita’s Motel’ – sure, it’s not the Ritz, by any means, but she’s served me well.”
Steve unbuckled his seat belt and leaned forward to look past Leonard at the small building in front of them. The motel was like any other, perhaps slightly homelier than most.
“Thank you, Leonard, for everything. I, uh, I really want to pay you back, but – we’re running low on cash, probably just enough for a night here, and-“
“I won’t hear it, Steve. You boys are clearly in a pinch. Not a single penny will I take. Now, come on, let’s get you inside. I’ll fill up the car while you sign in, then I’ll be on my way.”
Steve mumbled his thanks, over and over, feeling and sounding like he was about to burst into tears at any moment. The relief was overwhelming. Leonard slapped a broad palm down on his shoulder and chuckled, assuring him it was nothing. They were interrupted by a sudden burst of sneezes behind them. Steve turned and watched Eddie catch another three exceptionally loud and sickly sounding sneezes in his upraised hands.
“ENGGXXXTCHHH!!! IGXXT’SHIEWW!! Hahh’ENGXT’Tchiewww!!”
Steve’s heart lurched in his chest. He willed his cock to calm down; the last thing he wanted or needed in this very moment was to shield a mighty erection from their kind-hearted saviour. Eddie snuffled, the sound thick and incredibly messy. The older man blushed deeply behind his hands as he noticed both pairs of eyes trained on him – if he hadn’t been fully awake before, he sure was now.
“Good god, bless you!” Leonard exclaimed.
Eddie blushed an even darker shade of red, mumbling his thanks and frantically searching for something to clean himself up with, or perhaps a hole to go die in. Steve reached back beside Eddie and grabbed the almost full box of tissues Leonard had mentioned earlier. Eddie hesitated for a moment, and both Leonard and Steve seemed to realise his situation as he made no move to shift his hands from their steepled position over his face. They turned around to give the metalhead some privacy, Leonard making his way out of the truck and offering Steve a hand down out of the side door, having climbed over the seat to follow him.
“You take those tissues with you,” Leonard directed at Eddie as he opened up the exterior door for him to climb out. “Won’t be needing them for a while, anyways!”
Steve reached out to steady his boyfriend by the elbow, supporting him as he jumped down from the truck on shaky legs. True to his word, Leonard escorted them inside the antiquated reception area and got to talking with the small owlish looking woman behind the desk. Steve quickly realised this was the titular Rita, and that she was just as friendly and parental as the trucker.
“Oh, you poor things!” She cried, taking in the sight of the two of them, shivering pathetically behind Leonard’s great bulk. Both of them blushed to their ears – the attention was nice, but more than a little overwhelming.
Within minutes, Rita had signed them in and handed over the keys to their room. She had given them a discount, the cost far cheaper than Steve had been expecting. He wondered if it had anything to do with the violent triple of sneezes he had pathetically muffled into a balled up tissue as he gave her his details. Maternal to her core, she had even thrust a bottle of Tylenol and another of cold medicine their way, free of charge from the little supply she kept on hand. It felt like the universe was righting itself for all the bad luck they’d suffered that day, putting such kind and generous people in their path. Eddie tried to offer the left-over money to Leonard when he came back in from topping up their car, but he refused.
“You boys take care, now. You need anything, you go to Rita, okay? You’ll help these kids out, won’t you, old girl?”
“I don’t know this ‘old girl’ you’re referring to, Len, but I will certainly be here if you need me, boys.”
Leonard gently slapped them both on the back before saying his goodbyes, and then Rita was leading them to their room. Eddie and Steve thanked her and closed the door behind her. They wordlessly shucked off their coats, climbed into the double bed, and were asleep in seconds.
~~~~~~
“Hello?”
“Uncle Wayne?”
Wayne paused for a moment, recognising his nephew’s voice but taken aback by how worse for wear he sounded.
“You okay, son? What’re you doin’ callin’ me at 6 in the morning? I thought you’d be out all night at that concert.”
He heard Eddie sigh deeply before the unmistakable sound of him smothering a fit of coughs crackled down the line. Worry spread through his chest, that old paternal panic gripping him.
“Eddie?”
“Y-yeah, sorry. Actually, we, um? We didn’t make it. We got lost. And then we ran out of gas. In the middle of nowhere. And we’re both down with the fucking plague. So. I’m at a motel right now, a couple of miles outside of Indianapolis. We stayed here last night.”
Wayne blinked at the sudden overload of information. When he’d registered everything Eddie had told him, he sighed wearily.
“How in the hell did you and Steve manage to pull that off?” He light-heartedly jabbed.
“Ughh, I don’t know. We were fighting, like, all day, Wayne. We’re okay now but it was just awful. And so fucking stupid.”
Wayne sighed again.
“Well, as long as you’re okay. Situations like this are the kind of thing that make or break a couple, so if you’re both doing just fine now, I’d say you have successfully navigated your way to the next stage of your relationship.”
“You think so?”
Wayne smiled. Eddie seemed to have perked right up at that, just as intended.
“I do. Now, what do you need me for, you menace?”
~~~~~~
“HHHR’RRISHHH’IEW!! HRRRSHHCH’UU!! AESSSHHUUU!!!”
“Oh my god, Stevie. Bless you, angel!”
“Mmn. Thank you.”
Eddie closed the door behind him, shivering as he came inside from his trip to the payphone. Rita’s Motel had comfortable mattresses but was alarmingly lacking in working telephones. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his coat, unceremoniously dumping it on the floor, before stripping off the rest of his clothes. He took in the sight of Steve bundled up in bed, looking painfully adorable with his messy hair and little red nose, before climbing in beside him. He nuzzled up to him, rubbing his cold nose up against Steve’s.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How’re you feeling, big boy?”
“Like shit, still, but better. The cold medicine worked. Headache’s gone.” Steve pressed a small kiss to his lips. “What about you?”
Eddie kissed him back.
“Compared to last night? Waaay better, man.”
Steve furrowed his brow and reach out to press the back of his hand to his boyfriend’s forehead.
“You’re still really warm, but not quite so bad. I was really worried about you, honey.”
Eddie closed his eyes, pushing his thigh between Steve’s legs and bringing the younger man’s hand down from his forehead to clutch it against his chest.
“Worried about you too, baby.”
They lay there for a couple of minutes in comfortable silence before Steve spoke up.
“Did you get through to Wayne?”
“Oh yeah, shit. Sorry. Yeah. He’s coming through with Hopper later. Should get here around mid-day, he thinks.”
Steve blinked at him.
“Hopper’s coming? Why?”
“He said he owed him one. Hopper’ll come down with Wayne, then he’ll drive your car back up while we die a slow, miserable death in the back of Wayne’s car.”
“Oh…”
“Why even call Wayne to come down in the first place if we have a car full of gas, y’know? He just didn’t want us to drive, and towing the car would be a huge pain in the ass.”
“Right. Sorry. Took me a moment.”
Eddie leaned forward and kissed Steve right on the tip of his nose.
“It’s okay, baby, you’re sick.”
Steve’s nose wrinkled up at the teasing touch of Eddie’s lips against the sensitive skin.
“Eddie, Mm’gonna…gonna snee-!”
“Don’t hold back, baby. Let it out for me.”
Steve obeyed, taking in a final gasping breath, chest swelling to capacity, before sneezing unhindered onto his boyfriend’s face.
“HAAARESHHIIIEWW!! AEESHHHUUUU!! GITSCHHH’EWW!! TISSSSCHH’IEWW!!”
Eddie moaned in appreciation at the sensation of spray drenching his features, eyes closing reflexively against the force of it. Steve’s sneezes were already so loud and cock-teasingly desperate on a regular day, but the never-ending tickle his cold had inflicted upon him made them even more powerful. Within moments, Eddie was almost completely hard, the sudden rush of blood to his cock leaving him more than a little dizzy.
“Fuuuck, baby! Such big sneezes. Bless you.”
~~~~
Steve reached for a tissue from the box lying between them – Rita had gifted them with another several alongside Leonard’s gracious offering – and gently wiped the spray from his boyfriend’s face, blushing slightly to see droplets starting to roll their way across Eddie’s cheeks to the pillowcase.
“Damn, those were big!”
“Mmhmm. Just how I like them. You’re so gorgeous when you have a tickle, Stevie.”
Steve reached down between Eddie’s legs, smirking at the gasp the older man choked out as he gave his cock a teasing squeeze.
“You really are feeling better, huh?” He started to pump the length, long, slow strokes that squeezed the head of Eddie’s cock before making their way back down.
“Fuckk, Steve-!”
“Is that good, baby?”
“So good, always so good, holy shit-!”
Eddie bucked involuntarily in his grasp at a particularly hard squeeze to the base of his cock. Steve’s breath stuttered, feeling Eddie’s thigh press up against his own budding erection as his body jerked against him. Moaning, he pressed their foreheads together.
“You wanna get off with me, Munson?”
Eddie laughed breathily.
“Is the pope a catholic?”
“Ugh, don’t make me think about God right now, man.”
“Why? I’m right here.” Eddie grinned at him, looking far too pleased with himself. The cocky expression was somewhat weakened by his miserable complexion and swollen pink nose.
Steve wanted to think of a witty retort, but any thoughts of meeting Eddie with some cleverly formulated response vanished the second he felt his boyfriend’s sweaty palm wrapping around his cock and jerking it with several fast, hard pulls.
“Ohh, yeah,” He moaned, losing himself in the sensation, eyes fluttering shut and teeth biting down on his bottom lip. He was already embarrassingly close. His own hand faltered only temporarily before returning to stroking his boyfriend in earnest. Eddie pushed his thigh up harder between Steve’s legs, and he gasped.
“Mm, you like that, big boy?” Eddie moaned, mouthing at Steve’s lips. Steve closed the space between them and kissed him, both groaning as Eddie sucked hard on Steve’s tongue. They couldn’t keep it up much longer, though, noses far too stuffed up. It didn’t matter; they exchanged small kisses again and again, hands working each other in the ways they knew they liked best.
Steve peered down his nose at Eddie, his boyfriend’s face a rictus of concentrated pleasure, eyelashes fluttering above blushing cheeks as he panted and moaned. He looked so good like this; Steve felt himself lurch even closer to orgasm. He pictured the older man sneezing messily, an endless fit on loop for him in his mind, even as he stared at Eddie’s nose just at the end of his own. His nostrils would flare every now and then, in pleasure rather than in response to a burgeoning tickle. The subtle movements were such a tease – Steve wanted to watch those poor pink nostrils flare to capacity as Eddie built to a powerful sneezing fit. He cock throbbed against his boyfriend’s fingers.
Mind made up, Steve pushed their noses together and rubbed them back and forth. Eddie glanced down at them, slightly bewildered and looking temporarily cross-eyed. It was so cute – Steve chuckled under his breath, all the while continuing to rub his nose against Eddie’s, hoping to coax a sneeze (or five) out of him. He felt Eddie’s nostrils flaring wildly as he rubbed his nose down the side of the metalhead’s twitching appendage. His own nostrils flared minutely in a sort of sympathy twitch.
“Hh-HH!! Ohh, Stevie, s’gonna make me – make me-!!”
Steve groaned, just about managing to hold back from coming at his boyfriend’s words. He loved that Eddie played up every tickle for his pleasure, knew just what to say to work him all the way up. He nuzzled their noses together, slowly, feeling every tick of Eddie’s nostrils against him as they flared wide. A few more breathy, mewling gasps escaped from the older man before he was pulling back with a frantic urgency.
Steve started to come at the sight of the metalhead poised right on the precipice of losing all control. His eyebrows arched, mouth hanging slack as his nostrils twitched and twitched. He buckled forward at last, aiming each sneeze down between them. Steve’s orgasm engulfed him as he felt his boyfriend’s fit bathe his cock in spray, huge, cold-induced sneezes that he himself had helped to tease out.
“HIDDDTT’SHIEEWWW!! AHDDTT’ZSHIEWW!! EHh-NGXTCH’CHIEWW!! GXXTSH’TZSIEW!!”
A few more desperate, hitching gasps before a final, definitive “EHH’DZZTT’TSCHIEWW!!!” burst out of Eddie, so strong he trembled with it.
The orgasm continued to pulse outwards from his cock and throughout his limbs, the sweetest pleasure, leaving him shaking and moaning the metalhead’s name, coming in heavy spurts into the cage of his fingers.
He wound down from his peak, feeling sleepy all at once but willing himself to stay awake. Eddie was staring at him with a look of such intense desire that Steve’s spent cock pulsed pitifully in response. His grip retightened on Eddie’s cock and he resumed his stroking, desperate to watch his boyfriend fall into an orgasm of his own.
“Bless you, baby, fuckkk. That felt so good. You’re incredible.”
Eddie groaned, sniffling at the slight mess that dripped from his nose after that body-bending fit. He looked up at Steve before raising his hand to his lips and licking at the mess the former jock had left all over his fingers.
“Mm. You taste amazing, Stevie. Not that I can taste all that much right now.” He flashed a cheeky grin at Steve.
Steve grinned back and pulled Eddie closer to him with his free arm, pressing their chests flush together. It made jerking his boyfriend off a little harder, but they both sighed in satisfaction at the skin contact. Steve felt Eddie’s thighs starting to twitch, saw how his face had started to screw up – sure signs of his approaching orgasm. Not to mention the filthy, nonsensical ramblings pouring from his mouth that normally started up when he began to fall to pieces.
Eddie reached up to cup Steve’s cheek with his clean hand, tilting his face towards him.
“Do you have a tickle, baby? Sneeze for me?”
Steve sniffled experimentally. His cold had left him with a near-constant tickle just on the edge of fully culminating. He reached up briefly to rub the tip of his nose in small circles, feeling his breath catch as the tickle started to build anew. He sniffled a few more times for good measure.
“Yeah….oh-hohhh, yeah, definitely gonna…gonna sneeze..!”
“Unnnhh, Stevie!”
As Steve’s eyes started to flutter shut, he took in the sight of his boyfriend frozen right on the edge of orgasm. He was flushed all the way down to his chest, tattoos standing out in stark contrast. He was so damn pretty. Steve gasped, burying his nose in the crook of Eddie’s neck.
“Get ready, baby-! It’s coming…gonna sneeze for you...HH-HAH!!”
One more final inhale, chest expanding against Eddie’s, before the tickle crested and he was pitching forward helplessly.
“HAHH’TISSSCHHH’IEWW!! ITSCCHHHIEWW!! HH-H-HUHH!! HUHHRESSHHHOOOhh!!”
Eddie’s strangled moan was loud in his ear as he snuffled against his neck, strong arm wrapped around the older man’s slender waist, feeling him strain and shiver against him. It looked and sounded like a particularly intense orgasm for the metalhead, and Steve felt a sort of pride mingled with affection spreading through his chest. He loved making Eddie feel good. He felt his hard cock jerk in his grasp, painting his fingers and both of their lower stomachs in hot stripes of cum.
Steve was almost asleep as his boyfriend came down from his high, mumbling and giggling as endorphins rushed through his system.
“Ohh, Steve, holy fuck!”
“Mmf.” Steve snuggled closer to Eddie, nestling up to him with the intention to pass the fuck out.
“Stevie. Steve. Not yet, honey. We need to clean up. And put some clothes on before Wayne gets here.”
Steve stubbornly did not budge, even as Eddie’s captured cock softened in his limp grasp.
“Noooo. They won’t be here for hours, anyway…” He nestled further into Eddie, then moaned in displeasure as his boyfriend wriggled free.
“Nuh-uh. Up, now. I don’t trust you to wake up in time. Not after that nut, and with that fever.”
“Ungggg……okay……”
Eddie helped Steve sit up, both of them swooning at the effort. Now that their orgasms had cleared their heads, the discomfort of their sickness was starting to filter through the afterglow. Eddie wiped Steve’s hand clean with a fresh tissue.
“Let’s jump in the shower – just for a couple of minutes, dude, stop whining! We smell like sick people and cum.”
Steve nodded. Eddie may be blunt, but he was right. He squeezed his hand in his own.
“Okay. I really, really love you, by the way. Let’s not fight over stupid shit anymore. Please?”
Eddie kissed him softly before wrapping his arms around Steve’s muscular shoulders.
“Yeah. No more fighting. Love you so much.”
They held each other for a couple more minutes before stumbling to their feet, shaky on their legs en route to the small bathroom and finding it hilarious. Their weekend might not have gone even remotely as planned, but neither of them regretted it, knowing they’d look back on it all one day and remember only the love they felt for each other as the tepid shower water sluiced over their feverish skin.
#it's.....a lot sappier than I usually write#sneezefic#nametakenfic#s/tranger t/hings#sneeze kink#snz fet#snz kink#snzfucker#snzblr
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Ok idk if this is weird to say but enough ppl say shitty things that I feel like. Maybe someone would feel good reading it? But people with Indian accents should know how beautiful they sound. Like I used to work for an Indian family and the dad was always so worried his kid would end up "sounding like him" and insisted on him only watching American media so he wouldn't develop an accent but holy god y'all sound lovely and more people should tell you that. I get distracted listening to voicemails from our vendors and have to replay them just because I'm stimming along to the lovely lilt and soft-yet-popping consonants. Indian women are the backbone of crochet and sewing YouTube tutorials and make learning a joy, I never resent having to rewind to watch a stitch a dozen times because I get to have it explained to me in a gorgeous warm voice.
Anyways I hope this doesn't come across as uncomfortable or fetishy like "yet another white girl treating other cultures as magical and exotic" I just think that more people with accents should hear that they sound beautiful and there's no need to ever change them.
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I was curious about a post you made, about straight women and Astarion. I’m not here to start a fight, but would you mind explaining that? 😥 I’m not super well versed in these issues, it seems kind of harmless to me, but it sounds like you’ve got some thoughts! I know Neil has said he thinks of Astarion as pan, and without any word from higher up, that’s about as official as it gets, so why have you got a gripe with straight women in particular? No hostility intended of course!
It is mostly harmless, anyone can do whatever they please with a fictional character. But my issue, my ick, comes from two places, one being that historiclly speaking straight women have often used queer men as accessories; a good example of this is the "gay best friend" trope. Or even for as much as i love it, slash fiction, which alot of the time is women writing gay relationships (or often just smut), usually in a manner that isnt quite right to what its actually like being with a man, or living as a femme guy. (A peice of media that i think did a perfect job expressing those things in a non fetishy way is Law of desire by Pedro Almodóvar)
And also the issue also isnt him being pan, or pairing him with a women even; its the way they go about it. It gives off "you just wanna fuck a gay guy" vibes, which... isnt the best vibes to give. This is usually done by erasing his character and making him a "smol sadboi" and totally ignore any issues or characterization. (I sometimes wonder if some of these people have even played the game past the 1st hour)
This really only leaves one with two thoughts; its an aesthetic thing, they like queer men because theyre "exotic", (in and of itself really problematic) or, and usually if one of these things is true, the other also is, its a fetish, plain and simple. They think its hotter to see two guys go at it, and with Astarion its the perfect oportunity to have both things at once. (the queer fetishization and the ability to self insert onto a female character) similar vibes to straight women going to gay bars, looking for twinks, quite creepy imo.
(And a more irl implacation of this is that alot of the women doing this are only ok with femme cis queer men, once its a trans person, or a wlw person, or even just a bear? Instant death)
I do know this has always been a huge part of fandom, going back to the emo days of fall out boy and green day. I also know im not the target demegraphic for Astarion x reader fics, and the mod (i think? Im not sure) putting him in red john lennon glasses; so meh, maybe im just out of touch.
Also no hostility meant for you either!
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hi sorry just asking about black sails! i think in not watching the full show the message is missed (no shade here - no show is for everybody). the kiss scene between flint & thomas is in the dark for a reason. darkness itself is used continually throughout the show as a metaphor for queerness, yes, but also freedom & discovery. flint & thomas’ relationship is revealed in season 2 via flashbacks and a book with thomas’ handwriting in, telling him to "know no shame" in regards to the relationship. in the finale of the show, flint & thomas kiss outside in broad daylight. flint's journey to accept himself and what he fights for is the core part of his story, and i don't think that will come across in his season 1 scenes & a gif of a kiss.
as for max, most fans of the show i've spoken to had issues with the sa scenes in season 1 & the attempted pandering to game of thrones. when game of thrones' popularity died out, so did a lot of those attempts at attracting the same audience (thankfully). as a lesbian, i do disagree with the take on max & eleanor though. i did enjoy their scenes and story. i think an 18+ show is always going to have more graphic sex scenes for any relationship - as far as i can remember, max & eleanor have one sex scene in the pilot, and then max has a couple more in season 2 with another woman. i didn't see the sex scenes as pandering to the male gaze so much as i saw them as sex scenes from an 18+ tv show that depicts nudity & sex.
my last point is that while i appreciate the fact season 1 especially might look like queer characters have just been added in, the whole show centres queerness as a topic. flint’s desire for revenge after thomas is what drives him to nassau & piracy, and in later seasons to turn that into a violence against the british empire in general. anne’s s2 arc focused on her discovery of being a queer woman & where that fit into her life when the most important person to her at the time was a man. the show depicts 2 canon, on-screen polycules (max, jack & anne, and flint, thomas & miranda), explores their dynamics with each other and how that relates to their stories. i do think a lot of the messages and themes within the show are overlooked if you’ve only seen the first season - not telling you to watch it if it’s not your style obviously, i just think diminishing it to a show where queer characters were just added to differentiate it from game of thrones is misleading when queerness and the love between these queer characters drives the story.
Ok up front I want to say that perhaps you have a couple points and I'm going to sound mean in the first couple of paragraphs but I don't feel any animosity towards this ask I'm just clarifying my criticisms and also letting you know that I do know more than you think I know, I'll come back around to being nice in the final paragraph I promise.
Lets start with the Flint kiss because I have seen the finale kiss. They do that thing where they tilt their heads to an unnatural degree so you can't see that the actors lips aren't touching.
Second, it wasn't the graphicness of the sex scene that was my problem. They could have shown me pussy and I would have felt less uncomfortable. I think there should be more sex scenes in media, I just think they should be done better than that one was. It was more about the combination of the context of the scene, the way the scene was shot, the amount of time spent on it. Things like that make up the difference between a sex scene that feels fine and a sex scene that feels fetishy. I don't know about the later sex scenes but the one with Eleanor distinctly felt Weird and I would appreciate it if you didn't assume i was talking about sex scenes in general when I'm talking about that scene specifically.
But otherwise yeah, Flint's arc revolves around his relationship with Thomas, I was aware of that when I criticized Black Sails. I think that's part of the problem with them not showing Flint and Thomas's physical relationship outside of two kisses neither of which you can really see. Flint is a major character, his relationship with Thomas drives his emotional arc, and straight and wlw couples are having sex all over the place, why are Flint and Thomas relegated to these two half assed kisses?
Basically I don't think that Black Sails isn't real queer media but I do think it was written by mostly straight people and while it does show queer relationships, it could do a better job in several places. Which is fine I don't think all queer rep has to be perfect but I also think I should get to point out where it didn't work for me and where I felt a certain way about it. If you felt like Max and Anne's relationship was relatable to you as a lesbian or even just that the show was fun to watch that's awesome. Personally I got driven off by it trying to be a GOT clone early in it's conception and I'm not willing to sit through a season of that to get to the good bit especially if I'm gonna be asked to sympathize with characters who explicitly own slaves in the canon of the show along the way, but that's just where my mileage is at. Just because I criticize something and don't like it that much and state why doesn't mean I have beef with the fans or think nobody should like it. As far as I'm concerned Flint is the rightful king of Tumblr.com. I would just appreciate it if the fans didn't lie and start wars with other fandoms, which I certainly don't think you're doing.
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I sort of want to make a rp blog for a male survivor bc im fucking gay but there are so many out there
#naggyandy#delete in the morning probably/#I also lowkey feel like theres a favoritism for gay ships in the fandom#and some people get borderline fetishy with it#its ok to have mostly gay ships but when u start to sound fetishy w it u gotta slow the fuck down man
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Btw I love this cute discourse about how gay shows are fetishy and gross and creepy and appeal to nasty straight girls but lesbian shows are wholesome wonderful and pure.
Boy I wonder why that sounds so damn familiar...
Almost like we're re inventing the wheel...where men having sex is disgusting and immoral because of Christian values, but lesbians get a pass because of the complex lens of seeing female sexuality as less threatening than male.
But sure let's pretend that we can only have one gay show a year and if gays win, then lesbians lose.
Let's play lesbian vs gay, that'll be fun.
While we're at it, we should also go back to arguing about how bisexuality doesn't exist and is bad.
Or we could have a lot of fun and say well why haven't we ever seen a trans woman as the mc of a lesbian show?
And then we can go to, well trans people don't need a show...but nonbinary people-
Endless game of stupidity.
We got nothing better to do, right???
We can't win without someone losing. So let's try to win based on our labels.
And in case you can't tell.
This is fucking sarcasm. I hate this fucking discourse.
Stop spreading the idea that every time a gay show does well, a lesbian show fails.
It's not the law of equivalent ex fucking change ok.
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alright, i'm bringing back my "nor says some shit about every ESC entry" tradition, sorry or you're welcome, whichever you prefer.
ukraine: i wanna bring goodwill here but the rap is very bad and using black people as set dressing is arguably worse. i like the singing tho
austria: choice quote from this literal girlboss anthem — "we can be CEO / yeah you already know / we can be the boss / fly higher than the gods" cringe
netherlands: boring as usual but it's nice they're singing in dutch for a change
albania: potential to be really funny, the song sucks ass but the music video is game of thrones meets stolen visuals from, like, florence and the machine's king mv and kiki rockwell's same old energy mv it's hilarious
uk: oh my god it's white jesus! he's here! honestly it's not horrible so germany has good chances of being in last place again and that's a reason to celebrate in and of itself, thank you white jesus
sweden: this song has such a weird fucking structure, first it just starts without any real intro which is uncommon for a ballad, then it suddenly drops a synth bass in the second verse, i have no idea what's going on? like i don't hate it but what
france: finally, some good fucking trash! and from france no less, that's so unexpected
serbia: i wish it was a little more unhinged but this is genuinely a good song i would listen to in my free time. i hope she washes her hands on stage.
armenia: walmart mumford & sons
spain: sounds like something they would play in 365 days. also extreme y2k vibes in the video for some reason?
romania: the juxtaposition of a dance beat, really involved choreography, and a singer who just has no energy is honestly. it's a lot. i kinda love it. i love this weird twink
italy: ok so i really like mahmood and i have massive respect for him for showing himself in tender embrace with a man in this video, but the song is kinda. meh. that's sad
cyprus: what's with all the history-themed videos this year? lol anyway this sucks toes
greece: props for singing acapella with only some vocoder backing on this for over a minute. i mean it's still bad but that's kinda impressive
belgium: this one's probably gonna be made or broken by the choreography cause what little they showed of that in the vid was really good and really improved the song
azerbaijan: there was the chance for this to be a really melodramatic power ballad and they didn't take it. the video was a little bit hilarious tho, the rain effects killed me
lithuania: very, uh. lynchian idk
portugal: tfw your back-up singers all have better technique than you
israel: what in the rupaul's drag race contestant's original song
australia: terrible lyrics aside this could have been so fucking operatic and y'all just didn't do it? you just didn't? why???
montenegro: "the air is what they need / the air is what they breathe / they'll die without it / it's unforgivable" so true bestie
san marino: jared leto joker
bulgaria: y'all ever heard wolfgang petry make "rock" cause that's kinda this hook
poland: if more of it was like the bridge it would be pretty great, hoping for good staging
moldova: polka!!!!! fuck yeah polka!!!
norway: it's so fucking stupid i love it
north macedonia: ........ i like the rings in her hair. song's boring.
switzerland: yeah unsurprisingly this is absolutely terrible
malta: what is with these gay/trans pandering songs, why are there so many of them, why are they all so disingenuous and why do they all sound like shit
ireland: this sounds like every other song and also not like a song at all
finland: ok listen. i was a the rasmus stan in my early teens, and i stopped listening cause they got worse. in the shadows was their prime. whatever this is is embarrassing and kinda gross. please hike up your pants, lauri, and don't act weird with your new female band member, and don't write fetishistic shit like "a girl who looks like she's a boy". please stop. you're in your 40s and this is sad.
czech republic: i will probably forget this song in 5 minutes
iceland: country abba. abba but country.
estonia: the only good part was the western horse gallop beat
germany: they really couldn't do a second take on that third line, huh? anyway, germany zero points <3
denmark: i think it's so funny when obvious pop artists act like they're playing hard rock or punk or riot grrl or some shit
latvia: LET! THEM! SAY! FUCK! AND! PUSSY!!!!!
georgia: somehow three songs in one and all of them feel like overly long interludes, idk what's going on
slovenia: anime opening sang by a decently ok guy at karaoke. also the video is just a slide show of the storyboard which is funny
croatia: how many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man? nobody likes acoustic singer/songwriter bullshit at eurovision
#eurovision song contest#esc 2022#eurovision 2022#eurovision#esc22#nor watches telly#long post for ts
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sooooo i just finished fear street part one: 1994 and WOW. i love a good slasher/horror movie but even better when its modern and knows how to effectively make fun of itself while still making a good movie.
there will be spoils so beware!!
-we love a good lesbian/queer slaying duo (i am in love with deenas raspy voice and also sam is great, an iconic duo) i will definitely be reading some fics later
-i love the dramatic sounds with each action, it rides the line between overbearing and dramatic for enjoyment.
-also the absolute lack of emotion from everyone when people died... low-key scary, i feel like i would need at least a few days to recover but sam and deena were just like ‘ok date night after we just got back from telling the cops about the MURDERS WE SAW’ no big deal
-kate was an interesting character but i really did not enjoy her relationship with josh was weird.. bc like i assumed she was 17ish (as the same for simon, deena, sam, but this is all assumptions) and josh was like 14/15 but idk. maybe im reading too much into it
-simon was fun and added a bunch of personality to it, def a great character
-the jean hoop pull that sam did to deena in the school made me feel things...
anyway id say like a 7/10 but two points for lesbian rep that isnt fetishy so 9/10
#fear street#fear street spoilers#fear street part 1: 1994#sam x deena#simon#kate#josh#deena johnson#samantha fraser#wlw#film#sapphic
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anyone else made incredibly uncomfortable by the gnf submissive and breedable meme going around lately? i know he's ok with being sexualized but.. kinda. no not kinda. REALLY sounds fetishy.
it's like the femininization of gnf for the purpose of making dream seem like the super badass and dominant top in their ""cute dnf ship"".
#dnf cw#georgenotfound#dreamwastaken#dnf#i wouldn't maintag this dnf but im doing it for the tag block#its like people drawing george like 2 feet tall and in dresses so he looks super girly and 'smol' (gags) next to dream#twitter#critical
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hi kc! i have a question, pls feel free to ignore this if it bothers you or you’re not interested in answering!! i was wondering, should that person have just tagged it as trans!character instead of using p****boy? because that word sounds very fetish-y to me. i’m assuming they’re attracted to vaginas and wanted to write their fav with one. (their response wasn’t the best. they got very defensive). are they not allowed to write that because they’re cis, or is it because they were ignorant & wrote an offensive word? i hope that made sense!
i’ve seen trans!character written by tumblr users before, but i’m not sure if they themselves were trans. if you educated yourself about trans issues and trans people, would it be alright to write about them? and not even nsfw. like simply having a trans character in your story. or as a love interest. i’ve been following you for some time and would appreciate your opinion on it if that’s ok! <3
Hi!!! Thank you for sending this! I think you bring up some really great points that are worth talking about! For the sake of the dash, I'm going to put my response under the cut!
You are totally correct in your thoughts— the term is fetishy and disrespectful to the community. To answer your question first and foremost, after dming to see what was going on this person made it clear that they were uneducated, and just "like men and pussy". There are a few things wrong with this, and their response is where the transphobia comes in (claiming you can change that you're cis, etc). In this case, it is clear that the writer (as well as other b!p and g!p writers are) did not care to educate themselves before writing this content, and made it clear it was for their own attraction which in itself if the very concept of fetishization.
That is essentially what is wrong with the concept. As trans people, of course inclusion is amazing! We love to see trans characters, trans headcannons, etc etc to make us feel more welcome and a part of the community the same way people ask to write content as race neutral as possible. Inclusion is wonderful! What comes in to play as an issue with this, is when cis writers don't do research, and don't have respect for the very community they are writing about. That is shown by use of the term, by writing purely out of attraction (fetishization and sexualization), and a general lack of education or understanding of the content they are putting out. Our bodies are not here for cis people to sexualize for their own desires and attractions, but what we are here for, is to be a part of the story in our own way! Trans characters are fantastic, and if you're cis, just make sure you're respectful and educated before writing it! And if someone who is a part of that community calls you out, listen, and take their feedback to improve how you can be inclusive! It's definitely a fine line, and it doesn't end at just not using the term, however it is absolutely possible and quite easy to write trans and non-cis characters into your content in a respectful and inclusive way, just as it would be with any minority that can be distinguished through writing!
I think some important things cis writers can do to help, is ask themselves why they want to write what they're planning to write about. Does it come from a place of their own sexual desires, or does it come from a place of wanting to be inclusive? If it's a place of their own sexual desires, it's good to deconstruct why. is it a sexualization and attraction of trans and non-cis bodies? if so, is there a better way to go about expressing your desires, such as writing fem!character instead? or is it from a place of wanting to be inclusive and diverse? if so, that's when you should go the proper routes of educating yourself on terminology, struggles, and realities of trans and non-cis people! Some great ways to do this is to read trans and non-cis content from trans and non-cis writers— support them, consume and learn from their content! Trans and non-cis people are not sexual fantasies for people to dream about, we are real people with real struggles and real bodies.
Of course in everything I'm saying, I'm using you generally and not personally!
A big take home I hope cis people can bring from this, is that when you are called out by someone in the community, take a moment to step back from your defences and understand what they are saying and why. a lot of times it can be really difficult for people to be open and honest about having an issue with something, and it can be hard for people to confront others about having an issue with something they've created. So if you're criticized, called out, or talked to about something you've done that isn't inclusive and is disrespectful, please just listen! It's not your battle to fight, you should be here to learn and grow alongside everyone else, and defending yourself when you could take a step back and truly understand where this person is coming from, only does more harm than good to everyone involved.
Thanks for sending this message nonnie! I hope this was helpful!
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So, uh, I see you deleted your fic "Not as Expected." Did you lose interest in it?
Ok so there's a story here and I knew someone was going to bring it up at some point, so I’m just going to dive right in. I had not only lost all motivation and interest in finishing it, but I also had really bad memories associated with it since I was writing it during a VERY difficult time in my life, also before I was getting any help. I wanted to distance myself from it since I was starting to actually trigger my memories with my own writing, so I stopped and updated it with a chapter announcing it was a cancelled/discontinued project. Then the shitstorm started. I started getting really rude anons bugging me over and over about finishing it and even after ignoring them I eventually turned anon off. I wasn't going to finish it, obviously, but I chose to leave it up for the sake of an archive because it had gained a pretty decent following from what I've been told. This had also been going on for a while. The final nail in the coffin was when someone on AO3 wrote a "parody" of it and made a HUGE joke out of it, made it fetishy-sounding, and it was really insulting and they even name dropped and tagged my AO3 name and mocked the hell out of the whole thing. So at that point, I said FUCK IT. It was already associated with bad memories and the pressure to finish a dead project, AND now people were openly mocking me and my account over it? Hell to the no. So I nuked my AO3 to start fresh as a clean slate. I still have my word doc of it backed up IF I ever wanted to bring it back, but the chances are low as hell honestly. So, yeah. That's why I deleted it and nuked my AO3. I still write other fan fictions, but I don't post them because I'm paranoid that people are going to be nasty about it again, but my account is staying up for if I ever change my mind about sharing my other works one of these days.
#long post#not as expected#not as expected fanfic#not as expected otgw#asks#anon#long posts#otgw#shut up ally
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ok that post about settling things in dms rather than in public and how people see that as weird these days reminded me of this weird drama that happened earlier this year where a friend saw an extremely creepy post where a certain bnha character had been aged up, tanned 3 shades darker, and put in a pirate costume over a beach background holding a pale, very short, very terrified maiden to his chest. so I thought this was extremely weird especially since going to her profile she was like 30 and married (notably not to the 16 year old from bnha with the ability to shoot tape from his elbows) and when I went into her dms admittedly kind of freaked out to let her know that was fucking weird she posted a scre2nshot of conversation on her account and let me get mobbed by her posse of fandom moms. there's really no resolution or point to this it just kind of fucking sucked. like I know my end of the story didn't sound great but I actually did want to let her know gently that her actions might be misconstrued as freakish on the off chance she wasn't aware that aging up and making a kids skin darker so she can fantasize about losing her innocence to them and their sticky sticky elbows is not cool behavior. also she went on and on about how kids don't know boundaries like she didn't post her weird fetishy shit in a public tag for my friend to see. anyways
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Slight NSFW warning
But yeah, queer youngins PLEAAASE free yourself from restrictive notions of what queer s*x looks like. Cause the stuff you see in media and in porn is MOSTLY fetishy. And when you’re 18-19 you probably don’t have the disposable income to spend on queer independent s*x workers.
To rail and be railed is great but lest we forget the power of touch and language in the simplest of ways.
What makes someone good in bed isn’t their s*x skill level like some kinda DND character it is their capacity for communication, understanding and compromise. Their respect for you and your body and your time with them.
(Ok yes I’m fully aware that 22 and that’s still young but compared to 18 year olds I feel like I’m ancient so that’s why I sound like a grandma here)
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