#ok something ive kinda been wondering for a while

[inkyucu]

So... I got showed a website where you can pose a model for characters, and I planned on making a sketch.

This.... This was not the game plan, and yet I don't mind what happened, because I got to work on my horrible abilities when it comes to working on perspective AND full body Eclipse I will totally use as reference! Two birds with one accidentally thrown stone if I do say so myself

(Transparent version)

+ A little bonus

[soggyriceee]

Okay hear me out. König always thought he was a dom yeah, so when his darling asks to explore her oral fixation on his d!ck, he though keeping his promise (of not forcing it down her throat) would be hard.

Only, first few kitten licks and soft suckles on his tip and he starts whimpering, totally subby for her. And she just wants to explore :((( so she keeps just the tip in her mouth (reverse Just The Tip), giving it the attention it deserves.

König never knew he could come like that from just that.

- Beer anon 🍻

just the tip | Konig

summary: look above :p

| ok so ive been kinda obsessed with like.. pervy Konig and other cod characters as well so im just exploring that type of writing for a bit to see if you guys like it and me so, lmk if we want more perky Konig in the future :ppp

" come here maus.. tell me whats wrong." Konig said, leaning back in his chair, patting his lap. he watched as your straddle him, a smile on his lips. he pulls your pink skirt down, gripping your thighs after. "talk to me, whats wrong." he says softly, his other hand on your hip. you hear the game in the background, his friends through his headset yelling obscene words.

Konig had always seen you as his precious little girl. most would say he took advantage of your innocence, you say he was simply teaching you more about your body. your parents were extremely religious, the topic of sex never even coming up. not even in school. they put you in a religious school, blocking any chance of you learning about male or female pleasure. of course, you'd get curious in the night, your hand slipping down between your legs to touch whatever was throbbing between your legs. but you had no idea what you were doing, and nothing seemed to feel good. not until you met Konig of course.

you guys have never fully had sex, not fully at least. at night he would slip between your legs, pulling your night gown up. " just the tip" he'd whisper, pulling his dick through his underwear hole. you'd always been curious about his dick. like what was coming out of his tip when he'd pull it out his pants, or even when he'd pull out of you? why was it warm? why was it white? there were so many questions you had but were too scared to ask.

and he'd always finish on your cunt, never inside. he'd give maybe four thrusts before he'd pull out, gasping above you and jerking off until the white warm liquid would spurt onto your cunt. and he'd always tell you how pretty your pussy is, how one day hes gonna fuck you. but not now. not yet. but you always wondered what it was like to have him fully inside you. his tip alone was thick, and it was uncomfortable the first time he slid it in. the way your walls stretched out around him.

and every time you'd tell him about the throbbing between your legs, he'd happily set you on his leg, bounce you up and down until your body twitched on top of him, and you let out those pretty, high pitched moans while you gripped onto his shirt tightly. " schönes mädchen - pretty girl~" he would coo into your ear, rubbing your lower back as you came down from your orgasm.

"I uhm.. I am curious about something." you said softly, your fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. he'd then lean forward in the chair, grabbing his headset. " hey guys, ill be right back. my girlfriend needs something real quick." he said, muting his mic and sitting back in the chair. he smiled back at you, tilting his head. " curious about what, maus?" he asked, hands placed back in their original spots. oh how he called you maus. it made the throbbing between your legs form so quickly.

you whimpered, shifting on his lap. you felt the semi bulge of him pressing right onto your cunt, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. " uhm y-your.. your dick.. I wanna try something." you said, never looking at him. he chuckled softly, lifting your head. " is that so?" he whispered, looking you in your eyes. you blushed and nodded, shifting once more. " c-can I put it.. in my mouth." you asked softly, looking away from his gaze.

you could've sworn he let out a whimper, his grip on your chin firming up. he shifted beneath you, smiling. " think you can take it all maus?" he asked, looking down between you both. his dick pressed firmly against your cunt now, the hardness of it applying the perfect pressure onto your clit. you nodded your head, the blush on your cheeks growing stronger. " i.. I can try." you whispered, gripping his shirt stronger.

he looks up, a smile on his face. "on your knees." was all he said, pushing you gently off his lap. his hands worked to pull his dick out of his pants, watching you the whole time. it bounced off his stomach when he pulled it from his underwear, his tip red with the same white substance pooling at the top. you swallowed, looking up at the size of him. it was a bit nerve wracking, and he divinely saw that. " just the tip" he said softly, reaching down to grab the back of your head.

he led you to his hard on, watching you. " open your mouth baby just a- there you go" he said, watching as your mouth opened wide for him. "stick your tongue out libeling." he said, gripping the base of him. he slapped his length on your tongue, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. " just the tip.. come on." he whispered, guiding himself into your mouth.

he gasped when he felt the warmth and wetness of your mouth around his tip, his mouth falling open. his grip on the back of your head tightened, a soft whimper slipping past him when you looked up at him. " s-suck it libeling.. like a l-lollipop." he said, watching you from above. you hummed, your eyes moving down to look at the rest of what wasn't in your mouth. your tongue subconsciously pressed flat on the bottom of his tip, your head bobbing up and down just a bit, enough to give his tip attention alone.

his head fell back against the chair, his eyes squeezing shut. his hips so desperately tried to buck up further into your mouth, but he promised just the tip, as always. "ho-hollow your cheeks.. maus.. please." he whimpered above you, his mouth falling open once more. you did as he asked, hollowing your cheeks. he gasped out again, feeling every side of your warm mouth around his tip. his hands gripped his arms rests, his legs bouncing up and down as he tried to hold back his orgasm.

but you weren't done with him. you were having fun, watching how you pleasured him. it felt good. and it surely made your cunt throb. you felt your slick run between your thighs, a whimper coming from you. but you wanted more.

you pulled him out of your mouth, looking at his dick. he looked back down at you, confused. you leaned back forward, your tongue pressing flat on his tip. another whimper from above you. you assumed that it felt good for him, so you continued. your hand gripped his base, holding his dick still. your other found his thigh, holding onto it while your rested on the tips of your toes. " g-oddam maus.. fuck put it back in your mouth" he whined, watching how you traced your tongue around his tip. and you did just that.

you swallowed his tip back between your lips, looking back up at him. pretty whimpers left his lips, occasional growls as he watched you give his tip small bobs of your head around his tip. " c-cant take anymore.. oh my g-god" he cried out, his super body jerking forward. his hips thrusted up a bit, apologizes flying out his mouth. it was never enough for his whole length to slide into your mouth, but it definetly threw you off guard.

" keep going maus.. g-gonna cum..please~" he whined, watching how your eyes closed around him, both your hands wrapped around his dick now. his head flew back, back arching off the chair as you felt a warm liquid spurt against your tongue. you gasped around him, attempting to pull back but he was quicker. he gripped the back of your head, holding you in place. " s-stay there baby.. fuck please s-stay there." he whimpered, his hips bucking up once again.

it was a salty taste, warm too. you didnt know what to really do with it so, you swallowed it. it went down slimy, a small whimper coming from you. above you, Konig panted heavily, his grip on your head still firm. half of his dick was in your mouth at this point, and you honestly didnt mind. his eyes were closed, mouth ajar as the rest of his cum came out of him. " s..so g-good" he whimpered, opening his eyes slowly.

he looked down at you, seeing how full your mouth looked with just his dick. he smiled and pulled it out, watching the saliva string between your lips and his dick. "sorry." he whispered, smiling down at you. you shook your head and remained on the floor, looking up at him. " can.. can I do it again." you asked softly, hands going to grip him once more. a small whimper escaped from him, his eyes squeezing shut. " s-sure maus just give me a- fuck!" he cried out, feeling your lips back around his tip.

he opened his eyes,, watching you wrap your lips around his tip again. this time, your tongue swirled around the hole at the top of his tip, earning a loud whine from him. his body pressed back against the chair, his hips pulling back from you. " l-libeling please I just.. oh fuck~" he cried out, his head falling back. you didnt really know what came over you, or why you were so obsessed with this. but it was fun to be able to do something you've been thinking of for so long. especially when the outcome is this good.

it didnt taker long for Konig to feel that second orgasm coming up. his legs tensed up, his hands finding your cheek. " oh im cumming, im cumming I-im... fuck right there" he cried, his hips jerking forward into your mouth. he knew what he did but he couldnt help it. the way your mouth wrapped so perfectly around his tip, your tongue tracing small circled around his tip. it was like you'd done this before.

pretty little cries came from him as he felt his load shoot into your mouth again, quiet 'please' coming from him. you pulled away, the mix of saliva and cum stringing between your lips and his dick. your shirt was ruined too, drool completely covering the top half. his eyes were hooded, mouth ajar. his chest rose and fell slowly, his legs shaking beside you. you giggled at the sight, the roles now reversed. " n..no more.. please. cant take it." he mumbled, holding your shoulders back to stop you from wrapping your lips around him again. you giggled and nodded, standing to sit on his lap.

his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close. his head rested into your chest, taking in your scent. " so tired.." he whispered, pressing a kiss to your wet chest. " lets take a nap." you said softly, watching how he looked so small beneath you. kinda how you looked after he made you cum. but soft snored erupted from below you and you knew that he had fallen asleep. you giggled and ran your hands through his hair, sighing softly. " goodnight "

you knew it was wrong, but you couldnt help the throbbing between your thighs anymore. so, on his sleeping body you moved your hips back and forth on him, helping yourself to an orgasm as well.

omg I loved this request so fucking much!! and im so sorry it took this long to get out, life has been beating my ass. more requests coming out soon!

[deansdelicate]

I CAN SEE YOU

CHAPTER IV: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

seth rollins x fem!writer+producer reader

word count: [8K]

warnings: no use of y/n, mild cursing, reader mentions a panic attack (but doesn't actually have one), two idiots pining w/o even knowing it kinda? overprotective sethie, overall fluff!

🎧 the soundtrack

summary: In the midst of chaos, you find yourself naturally drawn to Seth, who is nothing short of a steady anchor in the storm. With each unexpected turn, your bond deepens, and so does Seth’s protectiveness over you. While others might not have gone to the same lengths, Seth’s focus never strays—it’s always you, and nothing else.

Your heels clacked against the polished concrete floors, the twists and turns of the arena causing you to stumble over your feet a bit, though it didn’t stop you from the dash attempting to hideaway from another stage hand set out to find you.

You didn’t mind lending a helping hand and getting the house show prepped for the night after your dad had to bail and take a last-minute flight back home, but nothing could have prepared you for the absolute ambush of people expecting you to know everything.

You did all that you knew off the top of your head: pointing the crew to where they could set up crates and carts, helping set up the titatrons and cameras, and even going over the match card for the night. But you weren’t cut out for whole shebang of stage hands who needed details on each and every single task—most, if not all of them, ones you weren’t acquainted with considering your job wasn’t even running the show.

They were practically all around, and you were confident that they were going to find you one way or another. But you’d at least try your best to avoid them for as long as you could and you thought the bathroom would be just the place.

You pushed the door open, falling against it and swiftly shutting it behind you. You pressed against the wood, as if you were barricading yourself in, but really, you just needed a second to catch your breath and close your eyes—savouring the sweetness of peace and quiet.

“Breathe…” you whispered to yourself, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, trying to ease the dread out of your body.

“You ok?” a voice suddenly reverberated in the empty bathroom, or so you thought.

“Oh, my god!” You screeched, snapping your eyes open, only to be face to face with Seth himself.

You hadn’t seen him around with your hands full all night, and while you wanted to be mortified that this was the circumstances it was under, the embarrassment didn’t even cross your mind. There were too many thoughts whirling through your head, and he certainly wasn’t the stressors you were trying to avoid by any means.

“Am I in the men’s bathroom?” You sputtered, pushing off the door in order to step further into the bathroom, expecting to see more stars, but thankfully it was just him.

“No, it’s unisex.” He assured, watching you trudge over to the sinks turning on the faucet to run your hands under the frigid water.

Seth pushed his brows together, staring at you concerned in the mirror’s reflection, “You look flustered, are you good?”

He noticed you were still trying to even your breathing while you splashed some of the water droplets over your neck, visibly trembling from head to toe. He knew something was up.

“My dad had to fly back to Stamford, and he left me to handle everything and now I’m stuck here dealing with things that I really have no clue about.” Your voice shook as you explained yourself.

You shut off the water, pressing your wet, cold fingertips against your forehead still trying to ease your buzzing nerves.

He hadn’t seen you in such a state, and you appeared to be a shell of yourself before his eyes. Even on your first day of work, you seemed to have some semblance of control over your nervousness, but today was another level of high-strung stress that plagued him, wondering how long you had been feeling this way until ultimately hiding out.

Surely people didn’t just expect you to know the ins and outs already?

You didn’t even give out orders the way your father did, and frankly your job was strictly in the creative realm. He couldn’t imagine what everyone else had been bothering you for that they didn’t already know how to handle considering their time with the company.

He didn’t have any time to spit out questions—whether you needed something to drink or to see the trainers for rest.

“Has anyone seen Ms. Levesque?” A voice rang out loud enough through the hallways getting closer to the bathroom.

Your eyes widened, spinning around and giving Seth a begging look.

“You haven’t seen me and I’m not here!” You whispered hurriedly, finding shelter in the furthest stall and locking the door shut.

He didn’t need any convincing, immediately getting into character as the door swung open and there stood a stage hand wearing a frantic look and letting themselves in without knocking.

“Is Ms. Levesque in here?” They urged, but before they could come closer and inspect the stalls for themselves, Seth stepped in front of them, blocking the path.

“Haven’t seen her at all today. It’s just me in here.” He spoke, playing it cool as the stage hand peered past him for a split second.

“Have you checked gorilla? It is almost doors and she could be there.” Seth added, eyes trailing down to the watch on their wrist and just like that the stage hand muttered out a ‘thank you’ under their breath before they left.

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at how little it took to get them scurrying. “You can come out now.”

You released a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, sliding the lock loose, causing the door to swing open.

“Thanks,” you sighed, exiting the stall, and meeting him near the sinks again.

“I think I’m seriously going to spiral if I hear one more person ask for me.” You confessed, running your hands through your hair stubbornly.

You could just feel the migraine starting to brew, and the last thing you needed was your head throbbing over circumstances out of your couldn’t control. Seth shook his head, his hand extending towards your arm and giving it an encouraging rub.

His touch brought forth a calming warmth over your shuddering body, desperately holding onto the feeling before his fingertips suddenly fell, leaving you aching again.

“I think you’re doing great, and I’m sure the girls wouldn’t mind you hiding out in the locker room. Stage hands almost never go in there for house shows.”

You perked up at the sound of that, tilting your head at him.

“Is it nearby?” You crossed your fingers, hoping it wasn’t on the other side of the arena where you’d surely be found by then.

“Yeah, it’s right next to ours.” He nodded.

“Okay, can you show me?” You smiled tightly, wanting to get out as soon as possible before another came in and blew your cover.

Seth nodded, holding a single finger up as he walked towards the door.

“Yeah, just give me a sec…” He peeked his head out, looking left and right making sure the coast was clear before, looking back at you and gesturing you over, “Come on.”

Seth’s arm slipped across your shoulders, pulling you closer into his side as you hung your head low hoping to not be spotted in the crowded hallways. You didn’t even have the time to think twice about the implications if you two did get caught in such a way—plus even if you did it was nothing they had to worry about when it was just friends helping each other out.

“Here you are,” Seth stopped in front of a door decorated with a plaque that read, “Female Talent” on it.

His arm fell back to his sides, as you pushed your hair out of your face, keeping your voice low as you whispered, “Thank you so much.”

“Come find me if you need another hiding spot.” He joked light heartedly, making you giggle with a nod before you waved goodbye and let yourself in.

Like he promised, the girls didn’t mind you at all.

It was more so surprising to them seeing that it was you of all people who walked through the doors, over apologetic for barging in out of nowhere.

But they immediately welcomed you with open arms, ushering you over to sit and hang out with them since they rarely got the opportunity to catch up with you being so busy.

You had confessed what led you to hiding out in their locker-room and they all immediately shook their heads, knowing damn well that most if not all stage hands weren’t new to the schedule, so them coming to you was just out of inconvenience.

Nattie was especially trouble, shaking her head disappointingly, "That's not right," She muttered, shooting her husband TJ a text message about what was going on.

You twisted your fingers in your lap nervously, hating that this is what you had to come to in order to get away.

“Maybe I’m just being dramatic, right? I just don’t understand what I’m supposed to tell them, when I don’t even know what’s going on too.” You sighed heavily.

You weren’t trying to act like an entitled brat, but you knew deep down that you did everything in your power to help everyone. There was only so much you could do without feeling like you were risking making a mistake and the blame falling on someone else.

“TJ has it handled. No need to worry.” She assured you, shoving her phone back into her bag, as you shot her a thankful smile for going out of her way to have your back.

“You don't know what that means to me,” you gratefully, reached over, hugging her tightly before pulling away. “I guess I should go now that the search is off.” You half laughed, going to get up and give the girls their space back.

But a hand quickly wrapped around your wrist and stopped you from doing so. It was Alexa, who shook her head along with the other ladies who looked excited to have you and wanted to spend more time together.

“Stay! You can help us get ready for the show!” She said eagerly, and you smiled at the thought, taking her up on the offer and deciding to stick around longer than you anticipated.

The smell of hairspray, and the heaps of makeup pallets cluttering the countertops took you back to the feeling of being at home again. It reminded you of your little sisters’, the random nights they’d spend at your apartment begging for silly makeovers, and even back in your childhood bedroom where your mom taught you how to do your own hair and makeup.

“How are you so fast?” Alexa gaped in the mirror astonished, most of her hair already curled despite you just starting minutes ago.

You laughed, sectioning off another part and wrapping her blonde locks around the barrel of the iron. “It helps when you have three little sisters who always want their hair done.”

She smiled. “How old are they?”

“Sixteen, thirteen and, ten.” You listed off with a huff, feeling incredibly old.

“They’re totally lucky to have you as a big sis.”

Truth be told, you were definitely the luckier one, seeing as though all three of them were extremely close to you despite their teenage ages, which was supposed to be where they wanted absolutely nothing to do with their older ‘uncool’ sister. But it was quite the opposite with them wanting to spend as much time with you, but especially not that you weren’t home as often as before.

It was one thing that almost caused you to turn down the offer of working with the company. As a kid, you grew up with your parents constantly traveling, and while they had the luxury of taking you with them, as you got older, the idea didn’t seem enticing and you just craved being home where you belonged.

And while you weren’t your sister's parent, you filled that role of being like one, and the last thing you wanted was for them to feel as if you were abandoning them. Thankfully, your schedule was flexible enough for you to go home every other weekend, and with more shows being put on in Connecticut, it was convenient to see them as much as you could.

“Oh, I have got to show you what I gifted her!” You said excitedly, finishing up the final curl before retrieving your phone and scrolling through your album.

“I showed Seth last week, and he thought it was pretty cool too.” You grinned to yourself, finally finding the picture and passing your phone around.

“God, I feel so old. I had one of those when I was like seven,” Nattie grumbled, seeing the vintage polaroid your sister was holding, causing you all to laugh.

“Speaking of him,” Naomi nudged your side teasingly with her elbow, “How do you like working with him?”

You smiled, biting down your lip with a shrug of your shoulders.

“He’s great, I mean, we work well together and we have a lot of chemistry, so it’s been smooth sailing so far.”

You couldn’t help but notice the impish expressions covering their faces. Liv smirked, passing your phone back to you.

“Do you think he’s cute?” She asked bluntly, causing your eyes to widen and a blush to break over your cheeks.

“Leave the poor girl alone!” Naomi chided, rolling her eyes at the girls who giggled harmlessly.

“What? It’s just a question. This is a judgement free zone.” Liv argued confidently, looking around at the girls who nodded—seriously, they all were like sisters, and nothing was ever off limits.

You tucked your cheek into your shoulder shyly, shrugging again, “He’s got a nice face alright...I’ll leave it at that!”

They all broke out into a girlish giggle, causing you to cover your face not out of embarrassment but for the sole fact that you actually said it out loud for the first time. You always thought Seth was cute—watching him for as long as you did over the course of your preparation coming onto the main roster, you always thought he had an appeal on screen and it was no different in real life.

So yeah, Seth Rollins had a pretty good-looking face, and you were quite lucky to work with him.

As the night progressed, time moved quickly with you busy and the anxious thoughts finally washed away. The girls who had matched had already made their way back to the locker room, getting showered and changed while you and the other ladies continued to chat.

“I’m so not looking forward to the drive tonight.” Alexa groaned, coming out from the attached bathrooms, changed into fresh clothing as she chucked her gear into her suitcase and zipped it up.

“Tell me about it, and tonight I’m riding with the hubs and his brothers.” Naomi sighed half heartedly, and they all laughed, knowing that driving with a bunch of guys was always the worst for multiple reasons.

Suddenly your eyes widened, the time spent with the girls causing you to lose track of everything else—including how you were getting to the next city. All the stress you had thought you fought off was coming back like cruel punishment testing if you were really meant to do this or not.

Your dad had taken off in such a haste, and it was a no brainer that he took the company plane, the same one you were supposed to get on at the end of the night to head to the next city. But that was before plans changed. There were no drivers on hand to take you to the next city, and the plane was certainly on the tarmac by now.

“Wait, where are we going next?”

You bit down nervously on your lip, grabbing your phone and trying to load the itinerary in your emails, hoping Eddie had sent you travel arrangements.

“Chicago.” They answered before your phone could load up your mail.

When the app finally loaded and refreshed, there was nothing from Eddie nor your dad about your mode of transportation to the next city. You were practically stranded and fucked.

“Shit.” You whispered, closing your eyes tightly and shaking your head.

“What’s the matter?” Liv frowned, looking over your shoulder.

You took a deep breath, trying to give your best smile while your mind raced with solutions.

“Nothing, I just have to go call Eddie. I totally forgot to ask him about something.” You waved off not wanting to worry them.

You stepped out of the locker room, pacing anxiously as you pulled up your messages between you and Eddie, shooting him a few. Much to your dismay the normal blue bubbles sent through as green, furthering your worries.

Sure, you could have easily went back in the locker room to ask one of the girls if it was okay to tag along with them to the next city, but you already felt bad for camping out in their locker room for the whole night and the last thing you wanted was them to feel suffocated by you.

Funnily enough, in the face of worry, your footsteps didn’t seem to second guess your mind, heading straight to the person you were hoping didn’t already leave the arena. The more you searched the hallways, the more helpless you became. The sliver of hope that he was still around fading with each second that passed knowing you’d have to quickly think up another solution, when you’re one and only was nowhere to be found.

But there he was—his back turned to you as he talked to a member of the production team about something you were too relieved to care about in the moment. He had his luggage and a few bags near his side and you knew you had caught him just in time, and you weren’t going to let it slip from you.

You hurried your footsteps, and unbeknownst to you, the familiar sounds of your heels rang through his ears, prompting him to turn his head over his shoulder mid conversation, spotting you making a beeline towards him.

He could read your face and the worry that covered it, the same one that you wore in the confines of the bathroom where you didn’t have to conceal it with a faux smile so the nearby eyes wouldn’t know something was wrong.

“Woah, hey, are you still dodging people?” Seth twisted his body completely, turning your way and forgetting the previous conversation all together, giving his attention to you.

You stopped right in front of him, rubbing at your temples and pinching your eyes shut, hoping you weren’t about to ask for too much from him.

“No, I actually was looking for you.” Your chest deflated with a heavy sigh that was reminiscent of the anguish you displayed earlier.

He straightened up at the sound of that, nodding his head ready to take on whatever you needed from him.

“How can I help?”

“I thought I had a flight to the next city, but since the plane left with my dad I’m sorta stranded, and I really don’t want to go book a flight and I can’t get ahold of Eddie so I was wondering if I’d be okay if I drove with you and Roman to the next city?”

You were nearly out of breath at how fast you were talking, trying to cut to the chase and not waste any more of his time than you already were.

“Of course,” He replied without any reluctance or a second to think if you should ask someone else instead—his quick response clearly stunned you, but you were indebted more than anything else.

“But it’ll just be you and me. Roman’s riding with his cousins and Naomi this time around.” He added, pointing behind you to where Roman and his cousins Jey and Jimmy were already starting to exit the arena.

Naomi was right behind them, rolling her things along. She caught you in her peripheral, causing her to turn to you, shooting you a teasing smile when she realized you were alone with Seth. You waved weakly, returning a small smile keeping your composure before you turned to him again.

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.” You smiled through a deep breath and he began to roll his luggage and bags out of the path.

“I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get my stuff really quick.” You gestured down the hall to where your office was.

“Take your time.” He assured you, not being able to help himself, chuckling and shaking his head, as you twirled around and did a quick jog in your heels not wanting to keep him waiting long.

You changed out of your skirt and top, tossing the pieces and your heels into your suitcase, and quickly grabbing a random baggy t-shirt and a pair of comfy sweatpants. You pulled mismatched socks over your feet, slipping them into your usual sneakers, hurriedly shutting the luggage and zipping it up.

You grabbed the packet of makeup wipes you kept in your purse, opening your phone camera to use as a mirror as you swiped the cloth over your face, letting your skin breathe. Tossing the wipes into the trash bin, you did a one over your office, making sure you had all your belongings, before turning off the lights and heading back to Seth.

Staying out of the path where stage hands and techs were clearing, he scrolled through his phone, waiting for you. And while he wasn’t one for divulging into social media comments, WWE’s recent post of your segment together had appeared on his feed, and many fans had lots to say.

‘Don’t know if this will end well for Seth, but how funny would it be if they actually got together in real life?”

One comment read, making him chuckle and shake his head—a thread of people agreeing or shunning the idea, like they had a say, anyway.

Another one wrote, ‘I can feel the tension through the screen,’ followed by an abundance of emojis that Seth wasn’t quite able to decode, but still made him laugh none the less.

At least he knew you both were doing something right if a single segment was already getting fans excited about what was to come. Whatever ‘tension’ fans saw meant that you two were doing exactly what you needed to do with your characters—it was all just part of the storyline.

“Sorry for the holdup.” Your soft voice shot down the empty halls, causing him to look up as you approached.

Mindlessly he slipped his phone into his pocket, trailing his eyes carefully over you—bare faced, hair pulled up, and the tiredness evident across your features and demeanor, yet you still managed to put on a smile thanking him endlessly for going out of his way.

“No holdup here,” He assured you, grabbing his things and rolling it beside him. “All good to go?” He wearily took note of all your baggage not wanting you forget anything important.

You nodded with a hum, “All packed up and ready.”

He led the way out to the parking garage where most of the superstars were already loading up their cars and preparing for the long trip ahead. Seth fidgeted with the car keys, sounding off the horn in order to find his rental that was almost identical to all the other SUVs around.

Recognizing the blinking tail lights and alarm sound, he subtly held his free arm out towards the small of your back, guiding you in its direction. You peered over at him as you walked, a little taken aback by the kind gesture—the way he wanted to keep you close felt almost comforting.

Only when you both made it to the car did his hand finally drop, allowing him to pop the trunk open while you stood there waiting to slide your things in. You stifled a small yawn behind your hands, rubbing your eyes lightly trying to shake off the fatigue until you got to the hotel. Seth slipped his backpack off, pushing it into the trunk, taking a quick glance at you and noticed your slowed movements.

Before you could even process what was happening, a soft click causing you to squint past your blurry vision, seeing Seth already lifting your suitcase and sliding it in.

“I got it. Go get comfy.” He offered thoughtfully, sliding the key fob into your palm, nodding at you to go ahead before continuing to load up the car.

You didn’t put a fight, giving him a nod as you hurried into the passenger side, placing your purse on the floor and leaning over the middle console in order to get the car running. Twisting the dials for the air conditioning and heat, you found a decent temperature that could keep you toasty yet cool at the same time.

The trunk closed shut behind you shortly after, and Seth had made his way around to the driver’s seat, getting in and placing his phone into one of the cup holders for easy access.

“Is it okay?” You hovered your hands in front of the vents, keeping your eyes on him.

His fingertips skimmed against yours, a pleased look on his face, glancing over at you.

“It’s fine for me. You aren’t too cold are you?” He rose his brow, feeling your hands slightly shaking next to his.

You weren’t particularly bundled up, and the night travel was always brisker, with temperatures dropping. There was only so much the heater could do to warm the car without it feeling like an absolute sauna, and a three-hour drive meant an absolute need to be as comfortable as you could be.

A slight shiver ran up and down your arms, chin trembling either out of pure exhaustion or frigidity, yet you still shook your head, lowering your hands into your lap, clasping them together for warmth trying to convince him.

You began to assure him, but it didn’t last long, “No I’m—”

He dropped his hands, fingers going to the zipper of his jacket, pulling the closure down and shrugging the garment off his arms, holding it out to you.

“I can see you shivering, you know.” He chuckled, nudging the jacket to you again when you didn’t take it the first time.

You hesitated for a second, before ultimately sighing out a laugh and taking it, apologizing as you slipped it on.

“I’m a guest in your car. I didn’t want to overstep.”

Seth let out a sarcastic grunt, buckling in as he spoke.

“Trust me, I’ve driven with guys who snore through ten hour drives and some who insist on blasting music all the way through. You’re by far the best road partner I’ll have to date.”

He said it like a promise, sweet and sincere like the way his voice always carried itself with you. It was hard as is, transitioning into a new job, but one that also came with an intense level of travel added another layer to the reason why he felt it was vital you had someone you could go to no matter what—and if that was him, then he was more than happy to be that person for you.

You crossed your fingers he couldn’t see you blushing through the darkness of the car. The headlights reflecting brightly off the walls and bouncing off the windshield didn’t help your case, but you couldn’t fight it. Perhaps you were smitten because of the conversation you had with the girls just a short while ago, but even then you knew it was partly just you in your head.

You had banked out on becoming friends with Seth, and you couldn’t possibly imagine what you’d do without him. And what Eddie had teasingly said about you and him acting as more than friends suddenly played like a loop in your head. But you had to remind yourself that it was just platonic, and that was all it could ever amount to.

“Thanks again for letting me tag along. I’d be lost without you.” You murmured, absentmindedly setting your hand over his wrist, grazing his skin softly.

Seth kept his cool, ignoring the hot rush of blood in his veins beneath your touch—it was nothing else besides platonic. Your kindness had always been extended to everyone. It just so happened that you two had spent a lot of time together, but still didn’t mean anything else.

He had spent all this time criticizing his friends because of their relentless teasing, yet he knew that if they were there to see what was unfolding before him, it would only egg all of them on further to believing you and him could actually be a thing.

The naked eyes you both held onto each other didn’t even see through a glimpse of what you felt inside. You didn’t say anything about his pulse beating against your fingertips and Seth certainly didn’t bring up your pink cheeks in the dead of the night—all of it was left unspoken, but it didn’t mean that nothing was said.

You and Seth talked and talked under the moonlit sky, mostly about Chicago. He had been multiple times, back in his indie days where he would drive from state to state and town to town to wrestle and get his name out there. All of those late night drives in shitty broken-down cars finally paid off a few years back after your father offered him a contract in developmental and closed off the indie days chapter and brought him straight to Tampa where bigger plans laid ahead.

You, on the other hand, hadn’t been to many places, far from home, and Chicago was one of them. It was safe to say that while the travel schedule was something so foreign to you it gave you the opportunity to see the world in a medium where you still got to work within your element.

“Do you ever miss the indies?” You marveled aloud, peering at him and he pursed his lips, puffing out an absurd breath of air.

“Hell no,” He sneered, making you burst into laughter, shaking your head at him while he argued his case, “I don’t miss getting paid forty bucks and a hot dog for getting my ass kicked in a high school gym.”

It felt like it was just yesterday when promoters would slap a few bills in the palm of his hand, and he was even lucky if they provided food after the show. Most times it was just him and his other indie buddies driving to the nearest 7/11 to spend their hard earned cash on gas station food and fill up their tank to head back home only for a repeat all over again.

“Okay, I get that,” You nodded understandingly, shifting your torso towards him as you tucked your legs under yourself. “But I mean, do you miss the innocence? Like, the small crowds that believed in you, even when you were just doing it for the hope of it all?”

You stared at him, elbow rested on the console, genuinely curious, and Seth found it endearing considering his past wasn’t all that glamorous to begin with. But your desire to dive into his world, attempting to dissect it in your own way made him realize that he hadn’t pondered his roots in what felt like forever.

“Well, when you put it that way,” He strung together a hum, glancing at you for a quick second just enough for you to catch his smile before turning his attention back to the road, “Yeah. I never imagined I’d be here. It still feels a little surreal at times.”

Perhaps there was a double meaning. Here as in working for the company he had always been dreaming about since he was kid. And here beside you—breathing your air, hearing your voice, getting a rare to chance to know you.

He didn’t know why he thought beyond what you had asked, but it felt right, just as he was beside you. The what was supposed to be solo drive to the next city, way more pleasant with your presence.

“You came a long way and you deserve it.” You grinned, eyes twinkling towards him, catching a glimpse of his orbs that wished could’ve stayed set on you through the night.

The first hour of the car ride was a breeze, a nice smooth journey as you and Seth talked about any and everything under the dusk to get you through the next town. You could’ve listened to his voice for hours, talking up a storm and making you crack a smile even in your most exhaustive hours—but then again, you were spent, and soon your quick replies and giggles became nothing but tired hums and weak nods of your head.

You liked to think that the same way his voice could keep you up in the early morning hours of a busy city, also had the effect of helping you drift off into sleep on a long road to another bustling town.

Seth hadn’t taken your quietness as to you being asleep. To be fair, he had just thought you were staring out the window, taking in the drive with some comfortable silence he didn’t mind at all. It wasn’t until he pulled up to the drive through of a fast-food restaurant that he realized that you had been fast asleep for nearly a half hour.

“Did you want something?” He asked, finishing up his order and reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet before looking over at you.

With no response, he hovered over the console a tad, finally seeing your chest falling in tune with the mellow breaths you took, and your eyes fluttered shut as you dreamed away. He smiled tightly at the sight just before turning back to the intercom and speaking at a lower volume in hopes not to wake you.

Hour two consisted of Seth quietly munching on his fries and burgers, softening the crinkle of the paper under a napkin, doing his best to keep the car nice and quiet for you.

You had shifted around a few times by hour three, maneuvering your body into a cramped fetus position and facing towards him. You untucked your arms from the inside of the jacket, pulling the excess fabric under your chin and settling into a deep sleep once more.

How you were able to sleep like a baby in the passenger seat wasn’t something he could fathom, considering how uncomfortable the front seat was for the guys who were always too tall to burrow into a cacoon like you were. But he guessed you had overworked yourself into a state of complete and utter exhaustion.

You always gave a hundred percent of yourself every night, but with your dad gone and you left to the pickup the pieces, you had gone out of your way to try to help everyone—spreading yourself out too thin before the veil broke and you had to hide away for the sake of your wellbeing.

The drive was nearly over, and he could only steal some quick glances towards you before you both had finally made it to the hotel just a little before midnight. The parking lot was full of similar rental cars, a clear indicator that everyone had beaten them there. Finding the nearest available parking spot, he quickly drove in, switching gears and letting up on the brake pedal.

“Wakey, wakey,” Seth called out gently, unbuckling his seat belt and giving your arm a soft tap, attempting to stir you from your slumber.

Yet you didn’t budge, not even a little, your breathing slow and steady as the hum of the air conditioning faded when Seth pulled the key from the ignition. He sighed softly, not wanting to disturb you but knowing you needed proper rest.

“Sweetheart, we made it to the hotel,” He spoke a little louder this time, hoping it’d get you to wake, “We gotta get you checked in so you can get some in bed, yeah?”

He reached over to give your shoulder a soft rub, trying to ease you awake gradually.

“Hmm,” you groaned, eyebrows furrowing together as you fidgeted around and turned away from him, body curling towards the passenger door.

Waking you up didn’t seem like a possibility, your body too exasperated to even make out his voice calling out to you, and it was probably in his best interest if he just made sure you got to your room to rest. Letting his hand slip away, he came around to your side, gently opening the door, and reaching in with one arm to support you while the other unclasped your seatbelt.

“Come on, I’m gonna help you out.” He murmured, shifting you into an upright position.

Carefully, Seth unzipped the jacket you’d borrowed from him earlier, slipping your arms back into the sleeves so he could lift you more easily.

Cradling you in his arms, he carried you out of the car, making sure you stayed upright against his side, as he shut the door and locked up the car, guiding your dead weight towards the hotel entrance.

The woman at the reception desk looked up with a warm smile as Seth approached, your head resting on his shoulder, still deep in sleep.

“Under what name?” The woman asked, fingers hovering over the keyboard, ready to get you both into your room.

Seth shifted slightly, adjusting his grip on you as he spoke, “Actually, we have two separate rooms. Hers should be under Levesque.” He told her, waiting for a room key to your suite before asking for his.

The woman’s smile faltered with a frown, shaking her head apologetically.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can only give the room information to the individual whose last name the room is under.” She said, gawking at your unconscious state.

Seth sighed, glancing down at you resting so peacefully in his arms. He didn’t have the heart to wake you up, just for a little room key.

“Look, I don’t want to wake her. She’s had a long day and she really just needs some rest.”

“I understand that, sir, but it’s policy.” The woman explained, “I’m afraid I can’t make any exceptions.”

She was just doing her job, and he understood that the predicament looked more than sketchy, but he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you, and he certainly wasn’t going to let you go to bed on the lobby couch.

“Okay, how about Rollins? My room.” He proposed, slipping his hand into his pocket, retrieving his identification.

She scanned over his ID, nodding and sliding it back towards him, then doing some typing on her keyboard getting the room information from the computer screen.

“Here you are, room 1306,” she slid the key across the countertop, and Seth quickly slipped it into his pocket before wrapping both arms around you securely again.

“It has a single king bed, but there’s also a pull out.” She added thoughtfully, but Seth didn’t miss the confusion on her face, not understanding why you both would have separate rooms to begin with.

“Thank you.” He nodded, keeping it short not feeling the need to explain himself, before carrying you through the lobby toward the elevators.

The nearest elevator began to close, and he quickly called out, hoping for the people inside to stop it.

Unbeknownst to him, the lift contained his buddies—the same ones who recognized his voice in an instant and stopped the doors from shutting at the list second. Jey snuck his hand out, prompting the doors to open once again, as there Seth stood with the boss’s daughter in his arms.

“Oh shit! Don’t tell me you’re going all vintage Triple H right now,” He shrieked, voice echoing in the small space and ringing out the corridor, causing everyone’s eyes to widen.

Seth ignored the comment, shifting your weight slightly to keep you snug in his hold as he stepped into the elevator. He didn’t have the usual energy to snap back a remark, too tired and frankly too concerned about getting you into bed to actually care.

Jimmy gave his brother a light smack on the back of the neck, silently telling him to cut it out, while both he and Naomi rolled their luggage aside to make room for the two bodies joining them.

“Thanks,” Seth mumbled, settling in as the doors closed behind him.

Roman leaned against the wall, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “You can’t be serious, can you?” his tone half serious, half amused not believing this was actually unfolding before his very eyes.

He knew that the closer Seth became to you, the risker things would become—not just the notion of the superstars making harmless jokes anymore, but substantial people backstage that would take notice and immediately tell your father of any funny business. And it seemed Seth wasn’t even thinking about that at all.

“What?” Seth shrugged his shoulders as much as he could without waking you, not knowing what the big deal was. “She fell asleep in the car and I tried to wake her up but it’s pointless.” He reasoned plainly.

Roman sighed, still a little skeptical, “What floor?” He asked, reaching over to push the button on the panel.

“Thirteen.” Seth replied, watching the button illuminate, the lift humming, as it took you all upwards.

Seth glanced down at you, gently readjusting your arms around his waist so you could stay comfortable. And like it was instinct, he felt your arms tighten around him, nuzzling your face deeper into the juncture of his neck.

His cheeks threatened to turn red, and a smile tugged violently at the corner of his lips, a kind of smitten he had to hold back, wishing he took a different elevator to conceal their eyes that bored into the two of you. He cleared his throat, cutting into the silence, trying to shift the focus away from the jokes that wanted to air out.

“Didn’t you guys leave the arena before us? You’re just getting in?”

Naomi rolled her eyes, shooting her husband a glare. “This man missed the exit and the stupid GPS rerouted us wrong.”

“Hey don’t blame me!” Jimmy protested, smacking his lips with a tsk, “there’s worse that could’ve happened like my ass on the verge of getting fired because I decided to kidnap the bosses daughter.”

Seth grumbled, closing his eyes with the shake of his head, hoping the damn elavator would hurry it up.

“Shut up.” Naomi smacked his arm lightly, her eyes softening when she looked at you. “She needs the rest. She was telling us about the wild goose chase they had her on tonight. Poor thing.”

“Exactly, thank you.” Seth looked over at the woman gratefully, nodding his head, as he spoke dryly towards the others, “It’s what friends would do for each other.”

Roman shook his head, stifling a laugh, “Yeah okay sure…friends.”

Finally, the elevator approached the thirteenth floor, slowing as Seth was ready to escape the confines, but of course not without one final jab from Jey.

“Nighty night…don’t let the ghost of papa H haunt you tonight.”

Everyone choked on their laughter, not wanting to possibly wake you and face the wrath of Seth himself. Roman stuck one hand out the door as it opened, pausing the automatic closure.

“See you in the morning, man.” He added with a knowing smirk, giving his brother a pat on the back, as Seth exited and headed down the hall to find his room.

Once he found it, he fished the key out of his pocket, sliding it into the slot. The lock mechanism whirled quietly in the stillness before the green light flickered on, unlocking the door. It wasn’t a suite, but the room had ample space for you both, though Seth knew he still had to grab the belongings from the car.

He stepped inside, gently kicking the door closed behind him, and without thinking his hand reached for the lock, turning it into place.

Guiding you over to the bed, he did his best to maneuver you as quick as he could, yet at the same time keeping his touch delicate not wanting to wake you so abruptly.

“Easy, easy,” he whispered, setting you down upright for a moment letting your forehead rest against his shoulder as he pulled back the sheets, then carefully rested you down back first.

He took a moment to adjust the pillow under your head, making sure you were comfortable, before kneeling down on the ground to work your shoelaces loose. Pulling your socked feet away from your sneakers, he set them aside before tucking your legs under the duvet.

“There we go,” He chuckled under his breath, impressed with himself that you hadn’t woken up through all the moving and noise.

He tucked you in carefully, making sure you were snug enough to where the blankets stopped at your chest. But you had done the same thing in the car—your fingers timidly creeping up, brushing against his as you pulled it up higher under your chin.

Seth couldn’t help but smile, standing there for a moment as he watched you relax even deeper into the bed. Your bones sensing the cushiony feeling underneath you and all the weight you had been carrying suddenly melting away with your breathing slowed and steady.

Content that you were safe and sound, he quietly slipped out of the room, triple checking to make sure the door was locked again before heading back down to retrieve the bags from the car. It was nearing almost one in the morning and his own fatigue crept into his bones and the socket of his eyes that wanted to droop asleep, yet all that he could feel was an odd sense of protectiveness over you.

He didn’t like the idea of being away from you, let alone being with anyone else in the state that you were in tonight.

What would’ve happened if he left the arena before you could find him?

What if you rode with someone else and they hadn’t made sure you were okay?

All the worries that you were the common denominator in eating away at the walls he was supposed to have up in order to protect himself. From what? He had no idea, but he knew well and sure that he couldn’t have let anything happen to you.

You had shifted around in the short time he was gone, this time laying on your side cuddled up into the blankets that practically swallowed you whole. The carpeted floors help cushion the sounds of the wheels rolling against them, setting his belongings in the corner near the couch on the opposite end of the room before setting your stuff near the closet.

There was weak light illuminating the darkness of your bag, your cellphone coming in with a few notifications, but what caught Seth’s eye was the red indicator on the battery icon. Thankfully, your charger was tangled up in your bag, and he quickly undid the loops before walking to your bedside and plugging it in for you to have come morning.

With everything settled, Seth walked over to the pullout couch, grabbing the clothed tab and tugging on it to reveal the full-sized bed. Certainly it wasn’t the comfiest thing for his stature or his back, but he had slept on worse, and he was lucky that he didn’t have to share it with anyone in a janky motel.

Shutting off the lights, and laying down, he still couldn’t get his mind off you as you laid just a few feet away from him. He hadn’t expected this was the way his night would end, but then again, he wouldn’t want it any other way—maybe a proper bed for the sake of his body, but he’d deal with the cards he had been dealt.

As you dreamed away, he wondered if you knew he’d make sure nothing happened to you. That you subconsciously trusted him enough, that even in your weakest, most vulnerable state, you knew he was there. And as his eyes began to blink slower by the second, completely sinking into sleep, in the back of his mind he hoped you knew that he could be that person.

And in the silence of the shared room, you and Seth dreamt away—but not far enough to escape each other.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: i hope you guys like chapter four of icsy!!! originally this chapter was supposed to be way longer, but i decided to split it--don't worry, chapter five is coming super soon after this one!!! let me know what you think about sethie and the princess ;D

taglist: @ellesmythe @wonderharryy @southerngirl41 @eringobragh420

[thewandererh]

🩺✨TW // medical concepts (tubes, ivs, veins), noose mention (cj storm and a spring lyrics)

(personally icky and squeamish on the medical concepts myself due to my health history, but im trying to conquer my fear by drawing them!! baby’s first IV drawing <33)

@calamarispiderart @calamarispider

I drew some fanart of calamarispiderart’s very cool hms guys in my sketchbook 👀. ive been dubbing them the ‘crazy concept calamari crew’ or something of the like. been having a hyperfixation ever since i found their tumblr last week :]. so earhm,, hope you enjoy!!!

.-.

‘’ spoiler image!! this is what stuff will be centered around ,,

.-.

ok art time

slowly listening to the full cccc album my myself :]. im very much in the fandom, just might not get all the references. mind is my favorite guy (everyone else is awesome too) so that might reflect here haha. calamari’s mind neck was so interesting to draw, i had the idea it can retract-ish and hide away in his weird fluffy coat. they all look so cool 😭😭

oH and a little extra whiteboardfox doodle wouldn’t hurt anyone. i wondered why the tubes on his neck were there, and came to the conclusion maybe theyre to substitute bloodflow because his neck is broken and blocked :0!

kind of funny because i first discovered calamari’s art amidst the aftermath of some twilight sedation i had (related to my ✨gut issues✨). discovered both calamari’s (i think) and spook on twitter’s (definitely) art after that whole procedure when i was home and watching turning red, love that movie,,, makes me cry. kinda funny i’m returning to calamari and spook’s arties at the same time after discovering them both at also the same time a while ago. was it october? wow.

anyways uhm…sending virtual hugs calamari!! i know this crew might be a bit old-ish (i had to scroll to find them) but i hope you enjoy it. time to do laundry ok bye

[ceddar-cheez]

Ok I have a minor gripe about Gale’s big romance night. Absolute spoilers because I’m just gunna brain vomit. I love this nerdy wizard a lil too much

So! I’m kinda peeved about how the choice to indulge Gale in magic sex has a lot more detail and effort than wanting to connect with him as a mortal in mortal flesh. You don’t even get naked when you choose mortal sex. It’s so disappointing because it feels like I made ‘the lame choice’ that they didn’t bother finishing and that undermines a big theme in his romance (or how I’m playing it)

I rolled a Barbie Bard so “love your true self!” is like central to the role play. So of course Barbie pushes that she loves him for his personality and not impressive tricks. But then if you go that route Gale is like ‘eh well if you wanna do it the old way then sure’. Like no no no Gale this is can be just as sensual as the other stuff… if not more really. The point is to empty your mind and be present in every part of your body. I used to overthink during sex (ADHD related) and it became a whole other level when I got out of my head. And like what is that magic sex if not Gale thinking reeeeaally hard?

Really I think the astral projection sex isn’t as amazing as he hypes it up to be. I mean just think, he says he hadn’t been with a mortal since being with Mystra and that relationship lasted a while (for how I interpreted it). I don’t think he’s had sex in his body in a long time. Cause Mystra doesn’t have a body, the astral sex would be fulfilling, but for Gale I can’t help noticing he left something behind

Himself

His whole body

That thing that feels touch and heat and pain

I think this illustrates what I think it feels like:

A tiktok woman (StruggleCare) was in labor and it was long and rough. She was in the hospital hooked up to an IV that was keeping her hydrated but she wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything in case they needed to do an emergency c-section. Her body was hydrated, but after so many hours she was begging for water to get rid of her awful thirst. Something about the experience of feeling water in your mouth is important to tell your brain it’s not in danger. (They did give her water and her birth went fine, just in case you wondered how this particular tale ended)

I feel like Gale’s “ascended” sex is like that IV. He’s been parched for so long that he doesn’t notice the thirst.

But here comes Barbie Bard and this man tripping over himself saying how he likes her musk. In the shadowlands he stops you to make a comment about how hot you look fighting and sweating.

Mystra doesn’t have a musk. Nor does she sweat.

So really the question is… when was the last time he was actually touched more than on the hands? I wanted to see that touched-starved desperation. I just love the idea Barbie Bard took a man with his head in the stars and fucked him back to his own humanity.

Very Hozier if I do say so. I like the theme of finding salvation in human after being failed by a god with unobtainable expectations. (Mystra and God god aren’t 1-to-1 so not perfect fit)

Anyway I don’t know where I’m going with this except I guess it’s time to bust out Procreate. I wanna hear other’s thoughts on this too

[restrainedhungr]

im gonna be 100% with yall for a hot second, mind the tags

So tbh, i kind of have been avoiding the dash here because recently more and more themes that make me extremely uncomfortable i thought i wouldnt have to deal with here are showing up :')

i havent gone a single day on this dash without incest or some other shit come up on my dash and im. honestly kinda tired of it like :')

Trauma dump time

i was sexually abused by my brother, i was taught by him that being sexual means people love you I was effectively an underage prostitute for half of my childhood life.

Starting at 9 years old. And not having an out until i was 17/18 when i was finally given psychiatric help Even then i went through a lot of abuse and cycles as majority of my life was being sexually abused it was hard to break from that cycle or know how to function without it

Please for the love of fuck, DO NOT. PORTRAY THESE TOPICS AS GOOD AROUND ME

I will not police people wanting to write topics, but there are ways to approach topics like this in good and bad lights, and you have to make a clear boundary between that. You have to make it clear you, the writer, is not accepting and ok with these themes, or writing porn to rub one off to and enable predators

A major part of being abused was online, and people pointed to those who wrote underage and incestual fiction as "see? its ok because its pretend" until it broke down my defenses and they abused me IRL. This happens. I'm a result of it I'm really fucked up mentally because of it

i still have issues with sex and intimacy and arguably can go through periods of hypersexuality or shit because my brain is so hardfucking wired its taken years of lucifer damned therapy to get to a point i can be in a healthy relationship with my GF rn.

and im honestly so fucking tired. imi so tired of seeing this everywherre but i want to be here on tumblr and be silly but honestly im spiraling and just getting high to ignore everything lmao. I know it's not a good coping mechanism but that's why I've been so silent and only been on discord. I've been getting high and playing pokemon while reading fanfics of Vi and Caitlyn cuz they're cute and wonderful.

so yeah. please

for the love of fuck

keep it off public eyes at the very least, if not DONT FUCKING DO IT.

and yes, people can call out how "oh but you RP in greek gods and hades!!" yes. BECAUSE WE ALL. RECOGNIZE. THE INCEST AND SHITI THERE. ISNT OK. NO ONE IS PORTRAYING THE INCESTUAL RELAITONSHIPS (to my knowdge) AS A GOOD THTING. AND I STILL DONT APPROVE OF PPL WHO DO THERE EITHER.

There's something to say with Fauxincest, but I'm not going to touch that with a 10 foot fucking pole, especially with my brother having not been blood related (both adopted before 2 years old) and raised together. Not to mention i dont want to talk about the differences in Mommy and Daddy kinks vs incest because yes there is a difference and anyone in kink can tell you THERE IS A DIFFERERNCE.

I'm not here to give you a lecture on what kink is vs a paraphilia, look up what paraphilias are and educate yourself because it's a serious issue that you need addressed if you have one. as someone who ppl tried to groom into them, please for the love of fuck, understand how serious it is and how much of a difference kink can have with paraphilias

so if yall wondering why ive been gone, this is why. im just tired man. im so fucking tired of this BEING EVERYWHERE.

every single fucking fandom has this issue and i cant keep. coming back to this.

i cant be safe when "safe places" are safe for people who used the same tactics to abuse me as a child and throws me back there. I won't be part of the cycle again.

[ilovechubbieguys]

Chapter 3🍓

-lmk if you guys have any criticism i love criticism as long as its respectful!! Enjoy! Chapter 2 here!

-------------------------🍓-----------------------

"Blake?.."

He turned around with a sour look on his face. I mean god he looked so diffrent i had no clue it was him.

I mean can you blame me! Its been 5 years since high school. Im shocked he recognized me to fast.

Theres no way hes still mad?! He knows i had nothing to do with any of that. Right? I mean ya i was there but iiii didnt do anything. That was all jenny and her boyfriend. I was simply a bystander. Kinda.. not really.

I do feel bad now that i think about it... he didnt deserve that. No one does. God i was such a little bitch in highschool

------------epic flash back memory------------

Jenny: heyy blake

Blake: oh uh hey jenny

Jenny: i wanted to ask you something

Blake: uh ya sure whats up

Jenny: did you have a date to prom yet?

Blake: no, no i dont why

Jenny: oh ok great! You know my friend y/n?

Blake: ya ive seen her around

Jenny: well she was wondering if youd go with her!

Blake: wait really?

Jenny: ya here ill put her number in your phone!

Blake: ok sounds good

--------end of epic flashback memory---------

Long story short it was all a joke. I stood him up at prom just for the fun of it...

I know im an asshole but i couldnt say no to jenny shed ruin me! She was the most powerful girl at school

And ive changed! I could never do somthing lile that to someone now.. i just hope i can make him see that

I walked back to the living room and saw issac was back but blake had left. I dont blame him between his getting yelled at by tanner and being faced with his highschool bully i wouldnt be shocked if he didnt come out till i left.

After a while of talking me and tanner ended up in his room taking turns taking hits from a cart tanner swore was his.

We where talking about everything and everything, you know high thoughts. Suddenly the door bust open "TANNER DO YOU HAVE MY NEW C-" it was blake

He stopped dead in his tracks staring at me, cart in hand mid hit. I froze up not knowing what to do. Was i smoking his cart right now...

I swear im gonna kill tanner.

"Tanner. Is that my cart shes hitting right now."

"Maybe..."

"OMG IM SO SORRY TANNER SAID IT WAS HIS"

"Just keep it i dont want it now that its been anywhere near you"

What. Did he just call me dirty..😧 i looked over at tanner "im gonna kill you."

Some time goes by and i decide i should go apologize to blake and not just for the cart. Tanner told me which room was his and i knock on his door.

*knock knock*

"Blake? Its y/n"

I dont hear a responce so i go in. Hes sitting at his desk playing seige. I take a look around his room. Rugs on the wall? Thats an interesting choice but i liked it.

I asume he didnt hear me so i walk up to his chair and tap his shoulder lightly trying to not scare him.

"Blake?"

He pulls the left side of his headphones off his ear but doesnt turn to you, to focused on the current match hes in.

"Hey blake i just wanted to say im sorry... and not just for the cart. Which i will replace.."

He doesnt say anything but you hear him sigh "ya like id believe that." Fair point

"Im serious blake i dont know why i was such a bitch in highschool you didnt deserve that..." i tried to sound as genuine as possible

"Well you where a bitch and thats that. Now get out"

Oh my god. He is impossible and ya sure im a better person but im still not gonna put up with disrespect "listen blake im trying here ok which is alot better then nothing at all" you say matter of a factly. I notice he had died in his game as his screen lit up red

He stood up from his chair and turned to me "ya hallelujah your a saint, a changed person thats great bye" he got pretty damn close to me for hating me and all

Ill admit him being this close to me made me relize he really was cute... maybe if he didnt hatw my guts hes a nice guy who knows..

But i sure as hell am not giving up this easily.

---------------------------------------------------

GUYS ILL ADMIT THIS CHAPTER WAS NOT THE BEST IM SORRY 😭😭I GOTTA BUILD CONTEXT.

[conanssummerchild]

the other day i was wondering about how it would go if rick sanchez and abed nadir interacted bcs theyre my fav guys ever but i couldnt actually imagine them ever interacting and then i accidentally came up with a whole fuck ton of headcanons about what would happen if rick started visiting the study group regularly (also featuring morty :3) so i figured i might as well post them idk

(rickortys dni)

idk what rick is doing in the commumity dimension and why btw, he's just there

the hc abt rick and abed having a conversation was just like rick going on and on about some insane adventure he went on and just overall saying wild stuff and abed listening, genuinely interested, but thinking "this guy makes jeff seem well-adjusted"

at first rick always goes alone but he talks about morty all the time and the adventures they go on but he never elaborates about who morty is so everyone just assumes he's a friend of ricks and one day rick finally introduces them to him and its literally a teenage boy and his grandson lol. everyone is confused

shirley probably hates rick sm at first

morty and britta talking abt politics or ethics or smth like that :3

i imagine rick saying the f slur or smth and the family friendly sitcom study group is flabbergasted while morty is sweating bullets apologising for him lol

rick almost immediately asks if troy and abed are fucking

one time chang tried to hug rick (even though they barely knew each other, i just feel like thats something he'd do) and rick's first instinct was to pull a gun out on him and after that chang kept begging him to make him one of those guns too (he didn't)

britta tries to therapise him but eventually rick scares her off by saying something insane or "way out of her league diagnostically" as she said once and she never tries again

rick and jeff having a drink-off (rick wins)

troy alternates between thinking rick is cool and funny and being a little afraid of him

morty and troy get along and morty thinks abed is cool

morty's favourite is anne because he thinks shes so cool and smart and pretty (think like the person you looked up to as a kid, thats how morty thinks of annie) and she lets him act like a kid and doesnt put any unfair insane expectations on him (*cough* rick) because she knows what that feels like

annie dislikes rick but she keeps slipping fliers for AA into his pockets and rick is confused and incredibly annoyed whenever he finds them

rick thinks chang is weird af but finds it funny, especially bcs hes like the main antagonist of the study group and hes just some guy

rick is probably kinda mean to the dean :(

rick saying something in spanish and no one in the ex spanish study group has any idea what hes saying (they did not learn a thing)

rick thinks its kinda cool that jeff faked his degree, but he wont admit it ofc

morty loves apartment 303

annie eventually warms up to rick because he's less grumpy and rude once you get to know him and they become kiiiinda friends (but shes still a little wary of him)

rick, morty, troy, abed and annie playing minecraft together :3

shirley also eventually warms up to rick and acts like a stern parent (even though rick is almost double her age 💀) and rick pretends to hate it but he doesnt (he didnt get loved enough by his parents as a kid)

rick calls pierce the jerry of the group

abed always listens to rick infodump

abed and rick talking about alternate timelines/dimensions together

one time he fell asleep on the sofa at apartment 303 and while he was asleep annie washed his labcoat bcs its probably grimy af and rick freaked out on her and didn't visit their dimension again for a month

morty loves shirley because shes is always so nice to him and gives him baked goods bcs she thinks hes the sweetest kid ever (he is). he always defends her when rick calls her lame

ok thats it, i usually lowkey hate crossovers but here i am. doing a crossover

also ive always been scared of posting headcannons in case someone is like "FUCK YOU these headcannons are the WORST you have no understanding of these characters you dumb faggot" so erm im scared :3 bye

[bastionbibi]

Question if it’s okay to ask: what is it that made Akai one of your favourites? Or at least someone that’s cool in your book

Man.... This is like asking why I love soup.  Ok, I'm not sure if I can stay coherent but I'll try, 

Ive been reading detco on and off since I was a was a wee child and even back then he was already one of my favorites because I like mystery, and he was the definition of that. 

And this way before the revelation that he was a good guy too. There was this moment of 'yeah, okay, this is it, he's the one (that im not gonna be normal about)'. Specifically, I fell in love in that one scene where he met ran on a snowy night, something about that scene was just so striking, especially something about him that, despite how intimidating he sounded or looked, didn't set off any alarms in Ran, that was the point where I knew there's more to this character, and that I love him. 

On another lighter note. I like his shinigami aesthetic, his one liner and lack of facial expression, I like his lonewolf tendency, how weirdly dependable he is and yet, he's not, in any way shape or form, charming. 

Like that time where he confronted Gin for the first time, he could've told Jodie and Conan that he had a plan to elude the BO but he didn't, he acted alone, he's extremely slow to trust but when he does, he pledge to them his true loyalty. I mean, Conan was just a child in his eyes (even though now he knows him as Shinichi), and yet since he decided to trust him, he never dismissed his words or treat him like a liability despite his 'age'. 

When he trust people, he cherished them in his own ways, and that's what I find commendable. 

He's ANNOYING. An asshole 75% of the time, we never got more backstory about him and Akemi because I refuse to believe this man with the personality as hard to love as the taste of blue cheese could land not 1 but 2 amazing ladies like cmon now. I hate how he treated Jodie but I have no doubt he would take a bullet for her if need be, I guess that’s why Jodie still likes him too to a degree but he didnt deserve her tbh (<- says the girl who will still reblog redstarling fanart whenever it crosses my dash). 

The same can be applied to his ‘rivalry’ with Rei, it doesn't matter what his true reason was, he decided that night, when he was holding the bleeding gun of a man he failed to save, he would keep the truth away from Rei and he stick by that decision till now, Rei did everything in his power to literally hunt him down over a misunderstanding and he didn't care, come hell and high waters and he will still keep Rei away from the truth because that's what he decided to do and he keeps his promises, especially ones made to himself. 

I suppose I like him because outside of 'work', while he keeps people on a distance, you don't have to second guess on where you stand, there's a sort of ease in that. 

As the story progresses, we get to see reasons as to why he ended up this way and that was pretty entertaining, seeing how affectionate he can be to his siblings and what happened in his past to make him go the extreme lengths of being an agent to another country and infiltrating a deadly organization etc, it fleshes him out, it makes me excited to see where he'll end up next. 

Also, he looks kinda handsome ngl 

ON ANOTHER NOTE!! He's also just- Really weird?? 

Like ok, sure, he faked his death like one would do but he came back from the grave as a guy 5 years younger with pink hair that's taking his masters?? Hello???? Has he even been to college before like I legit wonder if he knows how hellish a masters program is AND, I know this is based on a situation that's out of his control, out of all the personalities he can embody, he chose to be a milfy malewife who's always ready to babysit others?? Dedication to the bit is unmatched. 

(Also bc i hc him as conans dad and made a whole series about it, thats fun!)

(Anyway if youre in the gc dont u dare call me a simp i am not . ) 

[jemmo]

ok. here’s some of my immediate, rambly reactions to eps 3 and 4 of t8s.

first off, i was kinda nervous the entire day. it’s been a while since ive had butterflies like this waiting for a show to air, most recently was the second season of utsukushii kare, but the level it was today was rivalling waiting on a friday for a new bad buddy ep. and the fact this show managed to put me into that state within less than a week is frankly insane, and shows just how down bad i am for it. all that to say, i so soooooo didnt this want this to be a case of me overinflating how good those first 2 eps only for the follow up to not encapsulate the same feelings. all signs were pointing to that not being the case, but still, when you hyperfixate, you kinda get nervous hoping that thing lives up to everything youve built it up to be. and these eps absolutely did that. they didnt just live up to expectations, but are managing to give me scenes and story beats and emotions i just cant predict at this point, and i love that. just how like this budding relationship feels new and unpredictable to jihyun and jaewon, the show is like that for me to watch, and it does wonders for giving me the same butterflies the two are feeling.

but with that unpredictability comes a kind of uncertainty, not knowing whats gonna happen at any turn, and i cant express how much i adore that about these two eps. with the kind of story theyre building, with jaewon’s mental health struggles and his past, with jihyuns nerves and growth in an unfamiliar environment, itd be so easy to make their relationship a shared place of comfort and certainty and familiarity for each other. that place of refuge. and while i feel like that’s what it’ll eventually become, i love that still, in these early stages, the relationship feels so uncertain and almost not guaranteed. it makes you still hang onto every look and touch and word even though theyve already kissed. something about it doesnt feel pre-determined, which is a feeling i get with so many other bl’s when you know, a majority of the time, they’ll get together and have a happy ending. that doesnt feel guaranteed here (even though i pray for that to be the case). instead, it feels like im watching two individuals that are actually having to make a conscious effort in order for this relationship to become something. they have to work for that certainty. and that kind of knife’s edge, it could break at any moment, hanging on every interaction is packed with that specific kind of nervous exhilaration that is so fucking accurate and true to the start of relationship. i seriously cant describe how perfectly they managed to encapsulate that feeling and convey it with such authenticity. its actually ridiculous. seeing those moments, when they’re talking and skirting so closely around the topic of what exactly they are, when then their fingers brush and you are begging for one of them to make the tiniest of moves, to take hold, to make that kind of a statement no matter how small or silent it is, it makes your heart race, bc its new and unknown and in that moment its like your insides are screaming, begging you to embed this sensation into your veins bc you dont know when the next night like this, when the midnight chill and the dusky sky and the hints of alcohol in your system will mix right and make you feel so hedonistically giddy as you do right now at the feeling of that person by your side. and the way they both chase that sensation, how visibly happy it makes them, a craving for each other and that shared thrill only they know, it is just so unbelievably intoxicating to watch. 

i am a person that struggles to sit down and focus. im watching tv but im also knitting, im playing a game but also listening to a podcast. im that person that has to overwhelm my senses to feel sated. this is the first time in a while that ive sat down to watch something and nothing stole my focus, i wasnt distracted, my mind didnt wander. i wasnt concious of the other people walking around my house or the traffic outside or the temperature of the room, i was just fully engrossed. i let every ebb and flow of the scenes and story take me on this path it was guiding me down. and again, thats how they feel. when jihyun and jaewon are alone together, everything else fades away to this dull buzz of background nothingness, they become engrossed in each other, and just as the story pulls me, they pull each other. there’s a constant back and forth, an exchange of setting and challenging boundaries that i adore. when youre getting into a scene, you dont know whos gonna be the one pushing the other. you have jihyun being more forward by the han river, teaching jaewon to draw, then you have jaewon going after jihyun at the library, you have him meeting jihyun after work only for jihyun to ask him to stay and have a drink. its like with every interaction, theyre both asking ‘is this ok?’ and the other asks ‘can we go further?’. i wanna make a whole other post about the nature of their gap in age and experience and all that brings and also how the expectations it brings are subverted, but for now i just wanna say how great it is that there is this balance, and especially that jihyun is allowed to be confident and brave and forward with jaewon, and jaewon is allowed to be reserved and giddy around jihyun. those are experiences so often reserved for the elder and the younger in a relationship, respectively, so to let jihyun be the leader and jaewon the follower, swept up by his feelings and attraction is so refreshing and plays so well into the kind of growth we’re gonna see from these characters and that they need, jihyun growing out of this shy country mouse persona to be more forward and bold, and jaewon being allowed to drop his mask of bravado and letting him be a young person that doesn’t have to be in control of everything. we see that one of his main pressures is the concept of the future, of how simultaneously wide and full of possibilities but also narrow and predetermined that future is for him. he talks about being afraid to lose the comfort of a microcosm like the army of school, even though they are places where he isnt necessarily happy. and then in comes jihyun, something not predetermined, something unexpected, and he takes control of jaewons future in a way by opening up this new path for him. he’s taking some of that stress from jaewon’s shoulders by being an equal and responsive partner in this journey, and offers the chance for jaewon to have something certain in his future, only if he too will work for it. only too if he tries something new, realises that its not too late, and that the anxiety and fear and uncertainty that comes with it may be worth it. bc it may not be guaranteed, but to try instead of never knowing is the only way he can make this possible.

tldr; this show is breath-taking, and im gonna be emo about it for a very long time

[angstics]

Thought about a line that i am certain every single grantaire x enjolras fic writer has thought of. And yet i will include it. Because it bangs. It even connects back to valjean’s “i am a man, no worse than any man” and javert’s YOU WILL STILL ANSWER TO JAVERT (THE LAW, GOD!!!!). the self-symbolism vs self-humanizing, all that buttery literal and meta goodness 🤌🤌🤌

heres what ive been thinking of. i want to write a post-canon, canon divergence fic (mostly based on the musical because ive only read a little of the book so far) with NO historical accuracy, i just want to put these two guys in a situation. ok so the au is, what if enjolras and grantaire are the only ones to survive the barricade massacre and theyre sentenced several years hard labor for treason. this is almost nonexistent on ao3 but maybe it’s somewhere on livejournal or wattpad or ff.net or something. so far it’s my personal little idea. in my head, it is so disrespectful of the victims of labor camps and prisons. im interested in the aesthetics of physical labor, the romanticization of the male form… the sweat and tire and exertion and torture… the total breakdown of a self when being used as a machine. putting such Stark Symbols in this setting is so FASCINATING to me. it forces e and g out of their heads into their bodies — that loss of autonomy itself a violation. i want to see them fight to be human beings rather than fighting to be symbols. i feel the barricade is marked by a freedom that allows them to be larger than life… they dont have that freedom here. their fight now is to be men, rather than machines. i want to know how that feels. I want to know how it feels to once be a symbol, i want to know what identity they have without it. I want to know how they chase after these past identities. And i want to know who they are when isolated together, the only people who know who the other is because they are the only people who knew the before. I have a faint idea who enjolras is now, but i have no clue who grantaire is. i wonder if they each get a taste of the other’s medicine — enjolras given up, grantaire enflamed. or if surviving fuelled their previous stances. if being beaten by the system firsthand changes things… is there hope, is there a future?

the romantic relationship kinda goes back to the romanticization of pain lol. i dont know if either of these men ever allowed themselves to be happy. living day by day as people, trying to survive, i think creates an intense need for release. i think the environment also necessitates allyship and company more than ever. i havent thought about this part much, at least compared to the thematic meaning and possibilities. BUT i did think about a hyperdramatic romantic moment this morning while thinking about The Themes. this is what i was talking about with every fic probably having something like this (wouldnt know, havent read any). the moment goes something like:

Enjolras had been picked muscle by muscle, tendon to joint. He had never felt such weariness. “A man on his own can’t be a revolution.”

Grantaire knew that was not true. You were mine.

the people too must rise. in her kiss i taste the revolution. 🙌

[notthestarwar]

For your WIP folder…. Omg it’s so hard to choose. Wonder Soldier AU with Kix?

thank you so much for the ask!!!

omg. this is the one im currently rotating in my brain. im SO VERY obsessed with it.

(im going to ramble so badly here lol pls dont feel you have to read it all but im VERY excited by this au)

ok so. ive been rereading the winter soldier comics. starting from the first reveal of him in captain america onwards. i feel like everyone knows about the 'who the hell is bucky scene' which is a real heartstopper but omg. there are so many moments that didnt make it in to the films. theres just so much feeling there and i see a huge paralell between a lot of stuff bucky goes through and the clones origin.

i'd seen winter soldier au's with various clones before, but there was always something missing for me. on my reread of the comics i realised what it was. the being out of time. finding yourself in the future unexpectedly. having to adapt. getting used to being alone. and then realising you arent. realising that someone you failed to save is here. is still maybe capable of being saved. is such a huge part for me. thats the driver of so much emotion.

and i realised that there IS a part of star wars that makes me feel kinda similar. Kix's story. Kix finds himself waking up in a galaxy that has moved on. theres no room for him anymore. he was once a part of something, but now he isnt. he's never been alone before, but now he is, without question. he is the last of his kind. and after he finds out what happened, his identity as a medic is really threatened. his job was to heal his brothers, to save them. but when it mattered, he couldnt.

so then i started thinking. what would it be like for kix, facing this reckoning, having faced it for a while. finding himself a place in this new world, beginning to fight the first order. beginning to move on from something thats really quite impossible to ever truly move on from. what would it be like for him to face what steve rogers does in those comics?

for anyone that doesnt know, steve and buckys stories in the comics are slightly different. they are brought together because captain america needs a sidekick. they dont know each other before. and bucky is pretty much a kid at the time. he's 16. steve becomes like his older brother as they fight in ww2 with a superhero group called the invaders (pretty much like the avengers) against nazi superheroes and the like, unitil, just at the end of the war, they get captured. steve watches bucky being tortured, he cant stop it, and then when they escape, bucky sacrifices himself. the last thing steve sees before he gets frozen is bucky, just out of steves reach, unable to be saved after sacrificing himself for their cause. steve is awake in the ice in the comics. he has all those years to dwell on it, and when he gets out, the world has moved on and its far far too late to save anyone he knew.

buckys backstory has some real similarities with the clones. he grows up on a military camp, his dad dies when he's like 12 and he ends up staying as a kind of camp mascot. he grows up in the army. violence is every day for him. its all he knows. and when he gets recruited as captain americas sidekick. its all about the image. he is a propaganda tool. there to look like a kid so that other kids want to join up, but trained to be a killer. he is there to do the dirty work that captain america cant be seen doing. he's an assasin from the start. deadly efficient.

buckys return in the comics is delicious. it comes out of nowhere, to the reader and to steve rogers. he has been living in this new world and has accepted that noone will ever really understand him. anyone that survived ww2 looks at it with rose tinted glasses, but in a lot of ways to steve, he's still there. and then comes the winter soldier, a cold war relic, woken up to meet someone elses aims. in a lot of ways, it echos how steve has been working for america, putting out fire after fire, since he got out of the ice. the people around steve put the pieces together before he does and when they try and break it to him, he refuses to hear it. he wont look at their evidence. he simply cant. to know that not only could he not save this younger brother figure, but that while he was frozen, powerless, bucky was taken by the enemy and used in the worst kind of way. made to do things he never would have done (a big part of this is that bucky never would have worked against america. his patriotism was a huge part of his character thanks to his upbringing, which his handlers knew and found pretty funny. they used him to fight america because it was ironic). like omg. the paralells there! with the clones being raised to serve the republic, being raised to know nothing but loyalty because alll they knew was the military. and then having chips in their heads force them to do the last thing they ever would have done? again and again?

steve refuses to believe that its bucky. but we begin to see that he knows. he's just in denial. he fights the winter soldier and we have the 'who the hell is bucky moment' and then, his denial is shattered in the worst possible way. a dossier is delivered to him holding records from the winter soliders handlers from the start. he has to see the cold and impersonal documentation of the ppl that ripped his brother, his best friend, from death (from peace) so that he could be used against his country. he'd forgotten everything about who he was, all he had was the muscle memory of this fight. he could still fight. he was still a killer. these files document a kind of sick amusement from his handlers at his situation. his drs talk about him like he's an object for testing. (there are so many paralels here with the kamineese, palpatine, jango and how they treat the clones). worse than this. the files show that even without his memory, bucky fought them. during a mission in america he dropped off the radar, confused and lost, but trying to find something of himself. at this point they start wiping his memory after each mission and keeping him in stasis. he is no more than a tool. the whole thing is heart wretching. i know the movie version touched a lot of ppls hearts but. oh my god. it doesnt even touch the surface.

that feeling. those vibes. are the backbone of this au.

kix is beginning to move on. and then, the first order pull out the winter soldier. kix fights him and he's caught. because this stranger, decades after the last clone died, fights just like a clone. and against his will kix is just. pulled in. it feels like one last link to his brothers. he needs to know who trained this assasin. he needs to know more. this guy is like a ghost. the more he finds out the further he feels from any answers. what he finds. well none of it fits together. this guy has been doing this for decades. is he the first winter soldier? was he the one trained by a clone or was that his predecessor? his predecessors predecessor. kixs new war continues, as he investigates. this is simply a side quest. research to resolve his own curiosity.

and then, kix is fighting yet another battle. and in comes this guy. and as they fight, it gets to the point where its just kix and this assasin and the guys mask falls off. and he's a clone. and its an impossibility. its not something kix ever let himself imagine. how can there possibly be a clone here? how can he possibly be so young. he's hardly physically older than kix, in statis all these years, and the guy runs and kix is left. just. shellshocked. he goes back to his research. it doesnt make any sense.

time passes and kix realises who this winter soldier is. he knows him. not only that. he knows exactlly how they are controlling him. its the chips. the chips that kix was unable to save his brothers from. he woke up here and he thought it was too late for anything. his brothers long dead. him, unable to save any of them. he's a medic but he was not enough. yet. here is a chance. a chance at redemption. a brother, just one, that still needs saving. that kix has a chance of saving. and if he does. its someone that will understand. someone who knows what it is to be a clone. someone who knows what it is to wake up in a new galaxy, after years of stasis against your own will. its a chance.

the story deals with kix trying to face this. the whole thing is just like. emotional turmoil. he's given himself a impossible task. he's trying to save someone that does not want saving and very much wants to kill kix. in doing so he's having to face all this trauma and shit he had just accepted living with. and even worse. he gets to see a chipped clone in action. the lack of self preservation, the lack of control. kix gets to see what it would have been like for every one of their brothers. and he has to face that. its a journey thats kinda agonising. lots to face up to. lots to be dealt with. bad situation all round.

im so sorry for how long ive rambled but. oh my god im so utterly obsessed with this. its taken root in side me. the idea. the thought of them. gives me a feeling in my chest thats just. beyond words.

theres another post where i talk about it here also here

im just...screaming. the whole thing makes me want to scream and bite and never stop

ive yet to actually write anything that i can share loool cause ive just been chewing over the idea HOWEVER rest assured once i have something i'll be sharing it on here lol cause i need to yell about this au as much as possible

[aanabear2803]

hi i've seen your posts about body weight and I as a fat girl, was wondering if you are open to talk about it or give advice about it

I have been struggling real bad with it lately, I thought I was ok and had been for a few years, turns out I hate my body so much and you seem so confident, you got any advice? would you be open to talk about it in dm's?

feel free to ignore this if it's uncomfortable tho

Hi :3 um... so. I struggle with my own body weight a lot. I wont really talk about the bad thoughts that lurk about.

Ive been overweight since I was a wee lad. It especially hurts when my meds make me constantly hungry. Like I am always fucking hungry. So I just snacked the day away without any thoughts of consequences. I still eat these meds to this day. I am still as hungry as ever.

Id say I wont have very awesome advice? Because what I would normally do when those bad thoughts do happen is... post nudes on my kinky tumblr? Which, you know I dont expect others to do. Im sure there are healthier ways to express yourself than to go on tumblr and do shit like being half naked. However there are tons of gorgous women who dress in lingerie and post on tumblr all the time. You kinda just need to know where to look.

Ive also been trying to loose weight. But its more for a health thing since Im close to being diabetic and Im super duper not down for that myself. Im already tired of the meds Ive eaten I dont want to have to subject myself to stabs of insulin.

Im not on a fad diet of any kind. Im just eating 1200kcal a day watching as my weight slowly goes down~ I calculate all of this stuff too.

There's also the difference in how being fat and being unhealthy are wildly different. There's also that thing on how genetics have a say in the weight a person can be. But that is not my expertize at all! But you can be more than welcomed to go search and read up on those.

Ive been more open to exposing my skin a little at a time? Like wearing a bikini while in the pool when Im exercising. Ive been very recently trying to get corsets to work out too! Altho whether you like it or not there will be stares from people. But I would say start from the clothes, buy stuff you think would make you strut a runway. Dont just buy tshirts and pants and call it a day. Find a top in your size and fucking go for it. (Altho I understand many curvy people will not be able to find it cheap and Im just saying if you are desperate for the cash.... you can try Shein. Which I understand many Americans are banning and all the problems with fast fashion into overproduction but they do have many plus size clothes that most store dont normally have for people like us so you know its entirely up to you! But I was close to tears when I bought something and it just.... fits you know? Just dont go all out and buy their entire stock. I buy 5XL on there and dont worry about the number being so high, its probably based around the chinese style with their insane standards)

But hey look, people are going to judge no matter what ok? They always will. They will always find a way to trash talk. Its hard to ignore them, I get it. But theyre not you. They dont know if youre trying to loose weight or whether the food youre eating is a reward for having done a week of gym. Id honestly just say the fries are delicious and they should try it and we move on with our day. Its like online haters, you dont waste an hour of your life justifying things to them, so you have no reason to need to justify things to irl people.

I do hope this helps a little? I dont mind dms if you have any other questions of course :3

[mihai-florescu]

enstars analyses uhmmm i think we should spend more time talking about what dreams mean to characters ^^ it is In The Name. but i mostly think about how ritsu's issues with emotional dependency and wilfulness, all this stuff where he plays up his emotionality (??) are both result of and like an.. acting out of ... trauma from being u know. a chronically ill kid. with an absent family? and literally like two people who would visit him? and the isolation he would understandably feel; and the dependence he would have on those only points of connection--and he can't control those--i think it's interesting and i love ritsu. it's like, sometimes he acts like he chose to be how he is but a lot of it is out of his hands. hi i hope the rest of ur day goes well :>

Disclaimer post writing an answer, my mind drifted away while writing and i ended up just kinda Pondering and Rambling. Im sorry if it seems a bit scattered and all over the place, that's my mind rn. Ok, let's see what i actually said now.

Sometimes i think about how the war wouldnt have played out the same had rei never left ritsu to try to find doctors and cures for him (which led to breaking the promise of staying with ritsu that ultimately changed everything in their relationship forever). I wonder if rei would have ever even been in the cemetary and met keito had he just stayed to take care of ritsu. I also wonder if keito and rei would ever bond about having someone dear to them be sick. And had rei stayed, ritsu wouldnt have been upset and willing to give eichi advice on how to take him down. Would there had even been a war if Keito hadnt met Rei, or if the student council hadnt figured out how to send rei away. Would rei even be a protagonist if he hadnt left ritsu, if he had just stayed home in obscurity as well (i dont think so, and the story is built on the existence of these extraordinary characters, by the characters who arent, but are willing to make their way into the narrative nevertheless and achieve their dreams) One action's ripple effects etcetc.

Sorry i realise this was got way off topic from your original ask. I think i will continue to be off topic because i cant stop the train of thought ive embarked upon at this tardy post midnight time. I think eichi and ritsu are an underrated duo... they helped each other take steps towards their dreams afterall. During checkmate eichi giving a harsh wakeup call to ritsu in regard to being in his brother's shadow unless he does something himself to prove he's alive (top 10 eichi mean moments where he's also projecting onto the other person his own issues... not that he was wrong, but still). And in black tea, ritsu advising eichi on the war preparations during tea club (a serene setting in what was otherwise a hellish place, a piece of an everyday normal students life, which eichi craved so much his whole life. And ritsu also needed the club, interacting with new people, let alone another chronically ill kid).

Im thinking about your last sentence and how ritsu clung to the vampire persona the family adopted, the way to cope with the hereditary disability. As opposed to rei who changed his persona and struggled with the way he was perceived as a monster, when he was a human just as much as everyone else and tried to ignore his disability even? I dont think ignore is the best word. Downplay. It was always the acknowledgement that ritsu had it worse, despite the fact that rei also had it, he was looking for a cure for ritsu instead. First instance and development of his habit of helping people when they dont necessarily even ask for it. But yes anyway millions of tangents aside, ritsu clinging on to the vampire persona tighter and more consistently in his character, as a coping mechanism with a condition he didnt ask for, that is outside his hands. The one thing that was in his power was choosing to play into the vampire persona.

I havent even touched on mao... to be fair i dont think im the most qualified person to speak on him, or his relationship with ritsu. I am still figuring out my thoughts on them. Im glad they grew to find their own dreams in yumenosaki (heh), in the same realm, but not tied to each other where it gets suffocating.

I wouldnt call anything i said analysis as i wouldve probably ordered things better and had, well, an actual point, but i hope my stream of conciousness was as fun for you to read as it was for me to just think and type

[wc-wild-rewrite]

Into The Wild Reread!

Its actually been like 6 years since i last fully read this series, so it was fun going back through! Overall i give it a 9/10, one point removed for slightly clunky writing and scene changes.

HOWEVER, Every single sentence that includes Spottedleaf is awful and uncomfortable, so it's actually getting an 8.5/10

Please note that i wrote the notes as i read it and have not edited them

My chapter by chapter thoughts and notes are under the cut!

Prolouge

Iconic opening prologue, but we're really stretching the definition of bracken-colored for mr reddish-brown oakheart here.

When did the clans meet otters

I wonder how Mousefur feels about the last fight alongside redtail being the one where tigerclaw saved her

"Fewer kits than normal" bluestar theres 5 of them i'd say thats a decent number, 6 if we're counting Lynxkit

I dont remember many of the prophecies but i hope they use more star ones, the shooting star is a cool one

Chapter 1

They really love their full stops huh, its slightly jarring, as someone who writes with so many commas

I still love their descriptions of the enviroment

I like how they show Rusty's ignorance towards the necesscity of prey by having his first scene be him toying a live mouse, and that being why he lost it

Rusty, collars are not supposed to pinch, your being mistreated

I dont think ive ever seen anyone remember to add the 'lightly raining' part into an animatic or comic or anything

I like to think he spotted Bluestar in the trees when he says it feels like something's in the woods

I like that rusty's sorta mean, real tween energy

They better bring this fox back

This is painfully lore-dumpy but i love greypaw's total disregard for rusty's anger. And for his disregard for clan code, talking to a kittypet when he shouldn't be. Sets up his later code breaking.

I'm always really concerned about rusty's "just sit there and look hungry" comment, like buddy why do you know that??

Lionheart is canonically handsome

I really like how majestic and respectable bluestar is shown to be in this scene, i can feel her power

Bluestar has been keeping an eye on rusty for a while, spurred by the prophecy, i'd imagine

Chapter 2

I cant tell if bluestar snapping at him so fast is because of how despserate thunderclan is in that moment, or if its a hint to how fast she can turn against people.

Rusty's willignness to look a wildcat in the eye and argue is very interesting, i see where squilf gets it from

'Young kit' i love lionheart

Chapter 3

I like to think the yellow eyes in his dream are yellowfang's

Kittypets know what hours are, i wonder if the clans do

I love smudge, poor guy

They have pine trees on thunderclan territory

I kinda like asshole longtail, hes fun

Great job longtail, you got your ass kicked by a fresh apprentice

Only finished his training two moons ago means longtail is 14 moons, and was probably a solo apprentice. I can see why Bluestar is afraid of not having enough, if the last batch of apprentices only had one.

Interesting that they were so quick to accept Firepaw, but only after he proved himself in a battle. Very telling of their culture.

Graypaw never describe Spottedleaf ever again, its very uncomfortable, "not bad looking either" you are a child

"Neither young nor pretty" this line is especially funny now that grey and dark are brothers, like yeah, thats peak little brother energy

Chapter 4

Ok whos this ginger queen, shes been mentioned twice now

Firepaw stop asking for lore a cat just died

Now i wanna see a redstar au

I like how sassy spottedleaf is with tigerclaw

Tigerclaw in this scene feels so much like Scar, i wish they kept this

I like the lore of the leader's den being carved from a river, wonder if DOTC is consistent with that

Love the sharing tongues and eating lore, the idea of older warriors inviting younger ones to eat with them being an honor

I like that the elders are perfectly fine with firepaw

Interesting that sandpaw isn't actually described as cream or sand colored, but 'pale ginger'

Again, loving the eat rituals with the apprentices eating by the stump

Sandpaw's such a bitch i love her, such a tween mean girl, i can only imagine her with a high, bratty voice

Chapter 5

Two toms sitting in a hollow a few tail lengths away cuz their not gay

Birch, ash, and oak trees are added to the 'trees thunderclan has' list

"Thats treachous talk, kittypet" says the guy who tried to take over all the clans, thus sharing a territory

I like that lionheart supports firepaw's thinking

Thunderclan smells warm, Shadowclan smells sour, Riverclan is...pungent, i guess?

Dust and Sand are such brat siblings

Love the implication that windclan and thunderclan have different stalking types due to their difference in prey, light footed for thunderclan, and maybe heavy on the back legs to make a better kick-off for a run for windclan?

Ravenpaw has been an apprentice for 2 moons, meaning hes 8 moons old, and he probably became an apprentice on the tail-end of longtail's apprenticeship, or just after his warrior ceremony

Chapter 6

Two moons passed, 8 moons old, Raven should be 10 moons

Firepaw can scale ash trees with ease

One of lionheart's favourite phrases is "surprise is the warrior's greatest weapon"

Ok good, the fox was relevant

Thunderclan cats apparently climb trees often, given that halftail apparently used to

Chapter 7

"Easy prey for yellowfang" girl why are you in third person

2 moons in and he already doesnt want to feel pity towards a clearly unwell cat, i can totally see an au where he becomes one of tigerclaw's followers

"You seem in an awful hurry to die" is one of my favourite lines

Arch-cat of stench

Chapter 8

Patrol of tigerclaw, willowpelt, darkstripe, lionheart, and bluestar. One hell of a combo

Yellowfang was spoken of for her bravery and wisdom as a medicine cat, interesting

I like the respect Spottedleaf gives Yellowfang, aware that shes another medicine cat. They've no doubt met before this.

Sympathetic eye narrowing

"We found no bodies from either clan" i call bullshit

"Usually she only trains the kits of her deputies" again, bullshit, but interesting concept

Leaders talking with all their senior warriors and not just their deputy for advice

Cultural respect for healers and elders

Chapter 9

They know the word breakfast

Little grey-and-white kit and a tabby kit, probably swift and one of the frost brothers

"Certainly no hardship being around spottedleaf again" you've exchanged about 3 sentences with her

Willowpelt in patrol with her son again

The double mouse eating scene is always so funny to me

Chapter 10

Queens line their nests with balls of down, which are apparently duck underfeathers

Wow, two-ish moons and firepaw doesnt remember smudge at all

I like the parallel between rusty & greypaw and smudge & firepaw

Its actually kind of unsettling how fast he's forgotten his old life, like wow the cult indoctronation really worked huh

Chapter 11

Ravenpaw tripping over his snake, baby boy

Fluffy gray kit, likely cinderkit, no more than 2 moons, meaning they were newborn when rusty joined

Also a tiny black kit and a tortieshell, mystery kits

Rusty's been there for almost 3 moons

Bluestar has serious trust issues huh

"I think i could grow fond of her" ok yeah i see why bluestar x yellowfang exists

Clawface and Stonefur are considered great warriors, at least to Greystripe

Chapter 12

I forget at this point in the book tigerclaw isn't actually known as a bad guy, hes just grumpy and mildly suspicious

Crookedstar is bigger than Lionheart, which means hes fuckin massive

Brokenstar has been leader for 4 moons as of this chapter, meaning he probably became leader around the time spottedleaf got her prophecy. Causation, perhaps?

Eugh can we stop describing spottedleaf as sweet scented

Ough, littlepaw was definitely lying about his age there

Lionheart banter!

Ravenpaw being a good storyteller is my favourite thing

Ah, brokenstar, you mangy bastard

I like that he paused for dramatic effect though, drama queen

I cant tell if Smallear really is deaf or if hes playing it up so he gets left alone

Chapter 13

"But even he will obey bluestar" only for 3 more books

I like that travelling to the moonstone is one of the apprentice milestones

Spottedleaf get your nose off that apprentice

Chapter 14

Leaders cannot eat before the moonstone journey, interesting

Wow, what a dickhead twoleg, also possibly drunk driving

Chapter 15

Love the idea that tigerclaw is just fucking terrified of the moonstone

So bluestar just implied tigerclaw is spiritually weak, interesting

I love the description of the moonstone, it makes it sound so ethereal

Chapter 16

Barley is short and knows Bluestar

"You are tied to your clan like a queen to her kits" oh you have no idea barley

Barley i love you and your inexplicable rat fighting skills

Firepaw knows how to put cobwebs on

This chapter implies coming back from losing a life can take hours

Chapter 17

Blackfoot you asshole put those kits down!!

Yellowfang i adore you

R.I.P rosetail, we didnt know you existed until this chapter

Nooo grandpa lionheart, poor guy

I think its this point that starts the beginning of bluestar's fall, honestly

Chapter 18

Ah, here's tigerclaw's beginning of evil, starting with appointing his cronies as bluestar's bodyguards

Ooo yellowfang still has pain from that leg injury

Wow Yellowfang just called Blackfoot a stupid tank

Darkstripe really just got call shitstripe, huh?

Oh shit, i always thought darkstripe and longtail were aware of tigerclaw's actions from the start, but hes playing them too

Chapter 19

Spottedleaf you cant just tell apprentices about prophies and not give any context

The authors really dont know how to do a scene change, huh?

Firepaw fights light-pawed

Chapter 20

I cant tell if its clunky writing or intentional but the way ravenpaw describes redtail's death is very storyteller-y

Never use the word suppleness again

Brindle really just had her kits silently huh

Elders wash their ears when their expecting rain, more lore thats never mentioned again

Really cute that whitestorm is sitting guard for his mate and kits

Its been like 4 minutes since firepaw stepped out of the nursery, brindle's in there, how the fuck did the kits get stolen

Firepaw you shared 7 sentences with her, why are you so furious

Chapter 21

Can these grown adults stop sending minors on dangerous missions

"Goodbye, my sweet spottedleaf" EW. EUGH. AUGH.

"One of brindleface's kits has a cough" considering tulipkit dies, yeah, she wasnt lying

Something something clawface being a warrior greypaw respected only for him to kill the med cat and kidnap kits

Frostfur's kits are three moons old

Chapter 22

Brokenstar makes them apprentices at three moons and warriors at five

Marigold and Mint were four moons old

Chapter 23

Third time Willowpelt and Darkstripe are in a patrol together

Oh Whitestorm, your not the smartest tom in the clan, are you

Chapter 24

Brokenstar nearly got scar-at-the-end-of-lion-kinged there

It'd be cool if mr lil tabby kit kept the ear scar, i know he doesnt tho

Chapter 25

Tigerclaw really putting on the sad dramatics there

Fireheart and Greystripe, iconic and fitting names!

My thoughts

Solid 9/10, not perfect, bit clunky, but iconic and nostalgic. Im shocked i remembered basically all of it, even tho last time i read the whole thing was about 6 years ago

I think the chapters are too short in places and cut in weird parts, and the authors cant do a scene change for the life of them, but this was 2009, so its fair. Lets just hope they improve (said the fool, foolishly)

Oh, and the spottedleaf thing was terrible and uncomfortable.

[marybatson]

Hello!! As one of THE best marvel family bloggers on this whole website I was wondering about your thoughts on if you'd want a story about the MF as adults (original group of N52 group). Current DC is soooo averse to anything that might have consequences or change the status quo so it's probably moot. I just think Billy in particular (with his loner tendencies and inherent, almost untouchable goodness) has the potential for some very interesting stories around identity after he's been Captain-ing for a decade-plus as he becomes less and less grounded? On the other hand, I could see the argument that the kid- to-adult-hero is so essential to the premise to be removed. Also, would your answer change based on which version of the character(s) we're talking about. Like is it more or less interesting in the versions where B and CM are seperate entities? Anyway love your takes on the MF and DC in general!!!💜

first of all that’s the sweetest thing thank u for even thinking of me ;; I swear I talk out of my ass all the time but im glad u can enjoy this nonsense!

second! that is a very good question and one that ive definitely asked myself before. before i answer i hope its ok if i go on a small tangent first lol. its the tism in me.. UNDER THE CUT BC I HAVE RAMBLING PROBLEMS

the inherent problem with hero comics is that there is no definite thing like a “post-series” or epilogue type of story because, typically, they just never end. that’s something that can be compelling but also pretty detrimental imo especially when a good story or arc has a fully satisfying ending, complete with characters and storylines developed in just the way you wanted. that can all obvs change in a matter of years depending on the next writer or event. next chapter-type stories are difficult to achieve unless you’re a legacy of some kind. if these were characters in a novel or something much more linear, i think we wouldn’t even have to ask these questions.

im just saying all this bc it kind of informs how I like to speculate about comic characters - what is the ideal plot to development to ending for x character? for billy and his family, if you want a legitimate answer it’s just that I wish anything plot-worthy they achieve would only be in their time as they are now, as kids. bc im insane ofc ive turned this particular sentiment around in my head, and I really do think that the story itself at its core, the general magic of it, is way more compelling when they’re children going through tasks an adult would usually undertake. it’s a story where a child who has a limited amount of power bc of their situation at the sound of a word receives more power he ever really needs. it isnt necessarily a jaime reyes or young justice type of story about realistic kid hero interpretations, it’s simply a child’s fairytale fantasy. at inception captain marvel’s appeal was because while he was a kid, he was also respected as an adult and as competent as one. that’s why dc’s own evolution from the golden age (for children) to where it is now as a predominantly adult hobby can never seem to place captain marvel and his family in the right place.

tbh i wouldn’t really be interested in a story where billy and the others were grown up at all, because then they would just be. adult heros. ive always thought the “ideal” end is the one where they willingly somehow choose to relieve themselves of the power and grow up happily and content without it because it’s not needed once they’re adults. the “wendy darling chooses to grow up and not stay in neverland bc she wants more than what magic can give her” kinda deal. but that’s definitely not a compelling hero story…maybe.

im trying not to let this be such a cop out answer, but if what I just said were written as a story, and if I wanted it to be a story that included the marvel fam as adults - it would be the classic coming of age story. im thinking any plot in the world with crazy world-ending villain(s) story complete with a misc hero team-up could happen, and the real story begins maybe halfway in that where the kids realize that this is the end all be all. and the point is that they’d be okay with it. so what happens happens and maybe there are developments in-between coming to terms with the end of it but the perfect end is them, together, and being okay. there are no consequences to having had the power or having lost them. everything they’d gone through while having the power could have been tumultuous and difficult, but the children are always protected. in the end, we don’t know what age they live up to, or if they decide to become nonpowered heroes or if they stay a family. I really believe in the power of an open ending once everything is resolved. and for the marvel family, I think their best ending is an uneventful adulthood after such a wild childhood. it’s the typical kind of ending i think every chosen one child deserves in fiction (rip to percy jackson)

again…this is just me and my own thoughts. and im sorry it is SO lame and predictable. other more interesting routes than this if they just continued having the power till adulthood is that they can be pretty public and free with their identities. the power is intertwined with them. but it’s not like they’re particularly important in-universe or special, more than others anyway. they just have more experience now.

(idk if it would necessarily make much of a difference depending on the versions of the characters we’re talking abt either!! I think in general I just talk about them like my preferred combination of all iterations so it becomes just a question in personality atp! lately I have really liked the separate entity thing with cap/billy but somehow I prefer it with him than with the others.. another long tangent I could go on abt LOL)