#ok so i wanted to try colouring this scene again

[expelliarmus]

[andy-wm]

Back to WHO : the MV

This is a continuation of the earlier post that discusses the song WHO, by Jimin. That post was a first impression focused on the lyrics - while this one looks more closely at the MV.

(Remember this is my interpretation, not an official statement by Hybe)

The more times I watched the music video, the more I wanted to yell, because look...

IT'S REALLY STARING US IN THE FACE.

And again, kudos to Jimin's team because it's the most obvious thing in the world ever but only if you ALREADY KNOW what's going on.

Here's a summary:

The music video loosely represents Jimin's attraction/sexuality/love life as a timeline.

New colours - a new spectrum shall we say - filter into his life even though he's trying so hard to 'keep to the program'.

He searches high and low for a girl to love, but alas, nobody makes the fireworks happen for him. Then Billboard Boy crashes into his life, threatening to destroy everything. Jimin has to weather the storm and figure out where his place is because Billboard Boy is a major disruptor - a tornado in fact. In the end, the fireworks are popping and the chaos is happening, and Jimin has to just go with it and finds his place again. His colours have been getting brighter and louder as he goes along and in the end he's prepared to walk away from everything in order to be the spectrum he is.

<<I'm not saying it's literally a count of how many girls or boys or enbys he's kissed. I hope his kissed all of them and then some, frankly, but that's none of my business.>>

A few things to pay special attention to:

Burning cars > cars = masculinity. fire = hot. 1+1=2.

Dancers > people he's interacting with

Rough weather, as represented by the wind-whipped papers and eventually even cars being tossed about the set > His attraction to men (and dare I say it, culminating in a focus on one man in particular)

Colour flares, machine text, and marks on the tape (horizontal lines etc)

Are you ready? Let's go...

Jimin enters the scene looking like sex on legs (no surprises) and strolls casually onto the road. Immediately our view of hm is blocked by a pop-art style poster blowing across the screen. It's immediately followed by a car coming around the corner onto the road. The car is on fire. Jimin watches it pass by and follows it.

He follows the burning car.... and so it begins.

The narrative starts from before BTS even exists. Jimin encounters several female dancers who he has brief and sexy interludes with. In fact i don't think there's a single woman in this MV who he doesn't at least look at. He really does try everything (and everyone) in his efforts to find HER.

BUT WAIT.... rewind...

Let's go back to the poster... it depicts a street scene much like the one we see here, with the words:

WHO IS!! TORNADO OF LOVE

Note: those are exclamation points not question marks.

It's not a question. This is telling us UP FRONT IN BIG LETTERS that 'WHO' is tornado of love.

I could probably stop here and just say 'ok go watch it again' but it's too much fun to go through all the details.

So let's continue...

Jimin has a little more steamy choreo with the female dancers before the lyrics tell us he has so many people to see and places to go, and he leaves them and joins 6 other men in what looks like a work environment....

Hello we are BTS!

Yes you guessed it... like Yoongi did in Haegum, Jimin has his members represented here. (Fan chant going off in my head...) and more delicious choreography follows.

Notice that while Jimin was dancing with the girls, the only signs of rough weather were a few glittery specs floating through the air, barely noticable. Those bits of glitter multiply when he joins the 6 men, and instead of a sprinkling of glitter, it starts looking like a light snowfall.

That's all about to change....

The first moment of reckonning:

At the end of this section of choreo, as Jimin sings 'who is my heart waiting for' and moves into the next phase we have a barely visible flash of light across the screen and rainbow colours bleed into the footage (at 1.14).

This is also the moment the significant rough weather starts. I'd say this is where Jimin starts noticing how he feels, and the turmoil begins, because this is also where he makes eye contact with the camera (1.23).

He sees us watching.

Fuck. I had a moment here. There's a look on his face as he walks past the camera and stares right into it.

AUTO CALLIBRATION...

As another millisecond flash of light and rainbow colours seep into the footage, The machine text 'AUTO CALLIBRATION' appear on the screen and flash there for a couple of seconds.

CALLIBRATE: To standardise... by determinning the deviation from a standard so as to ascertain the proper correction factors (Meriam-Webster definition).

"Get a hold of yourself, Jimin. Reset (your behaviour and desires) to correspond with expectations"

Jimin makes a very determined bee-line for the nearest girl and dances with her, ignoring the burning car in the foreground.

This brings us to the next phase of the narrative, and the next location - the performance space in front of the OASIS cinema.

(Do you see the doors of the cinema - BTS referenced again).

As he dances with this girl, the camera zooms out and we see that a crowd has gathered outside the cinema, watching them, but the crowd does not seem friendly and the dance seems performative - the movements are exagerated and obvious. The girl has Jimin in a headlock at one point and then she pushes him away and leaves. All in all it's an unpleasant event.

At this point the BTS members return (Although now there's one missing) and they dance with and around a number of female dancers. flashes go off in the crowd as the choreo is performed.

As they dance the wind picks up quickly and papers and cans are blown about. Even when Jimin is obviously interacting with female dancers the weather continues to pick up. Dancing with the girls isn't helping.

The camera pulls back and we see the same car as before, still on fire.

This is the moment when the penny (or billboard) drops.

All the other dancers scatter, dissapearing in a matter of seconds as the billboard comes crashing down. The billboard blocks his path. Wherever he had been planning to go - or whatever course of action he had planned to take - this man on the billboard forces a new decision. Jimin has to rethink his plans.

Jimin turns and goes in the opposite direction to everyone else. (A similar scene occured in Like Crazy, Jimin going the other way, rejecting the norm, going against the tide).

The machine text flashes "REWIND ... REWIND" on the screen and we see Jimin heading back to where all this started... where the original car on fire was seen.

He's travelling his own path now, but as he walks, alone in what seems to be the wrong direction, we see the store lights brighter, reflecting off cars and filling the space around him.

He's going through the motions with the girls he passes but the interactions are brief and in one case he actually dodges the girl completetly.

He retraces his steps amidst the chaos, and the weather really goes nuts. Now there are cars being thrown through the air, streetlamps exploding. The storm is almost upon him.

As Jimin steps into that original street again, the one with the neon letters spelling BLISS, the machine text reads PLAY. It's almost ike he's having a redo, where he accepts who he is from the start and allows the chaos to happen. And the chaos DOES happen, because the tornado has arrived.

THE TORNADO OF LOVE.

There's a flash and the whole screen is flooded with colours, blanking out the footage.

Jimin can no longer dance in step with everyone else at this point. He's doubled over, belting those high notes at the climax of the song while the chaos rages in the background. Without the music to give his actions context, it almost looks like hes in agony.

Sparks fly, lights flash, even the film itself is affected...

He eventually gets it together and rejoins the choreography, picking up his life so to speak. But his callibration is forever changed. the colours that bled into his life are there for good now, and and as he walks away after the music stops, we see that those colours are not just for the performance, they exist outside of that.

A note about the light flares we see throughout the MV:

It was really hard to catch these, some of them were literal milliseconds. I had to slow the MV down to play at .25 original speed and even then they were fleeting - well hidden.

Only the one at the very end was really visible.

In this one, the word PAUSE appears, as the MV ends. I wonder if that relates to their military service?

The flares of light and colour, those rainbow flashes, aren't always easy to find. Youvhave to be prepared to seek them out.

We will find them if we look for them, but i think Jimin won't show his true colours until after the lights go down and the performance is over.

I respect his decision (if that's what that is) and i will continue to meet him here his stands. I'll support everything he does knowing what I know and I'll continue to search for and uncover the hidden messages he sends us.

[ineffable-suffering]

INEFFABLE META MASTERPOST

Because I'm slowly losing count and need to organize. So, here's all my self-written metas or ones that I reblogged with my own added theories and commentary! In rainbow colours, naturally.

1 – Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why. My most lengthy and proudest meta about the Final Fifteen and why I think Aziraphale lied on purpose. (Also: The absolute darling @esthermitchell-author bravely fought their way through it and wrote up some more interesting points and different takes on what I came up with. If you want to go down a S2 rabbit hole with us, go read it here.)

2 – Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator (links below) A three-part meta in which I try to analyse and explain that all of the minisodes in Season 2 are not objective narrations but actually Aziraphale's memories.

Part 1: The Story of Job

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

3 – The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie A meta in which I go into unnecessarily great detail about how the Whickber Street Meeting Cotillion Ball was meant to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley.

4 – Crowley & Aziraphale were never free (reblog) A reblog of @baggvinshield's post in which I explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.

5 – In Defense of Aziraphale (double reblog) A double try at explaining why I think Aziraphale's POV in the Final Fifteen is just as horrible as Crowley's and why I don't think him "choosing" to go back to Heaven was the only point of his character journey.

6 – The Art of Miscommunication: Ineffable Edition A meta in which i once again explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.

7– Season 2 Bookshop Shot Meta A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a single bookshop frame in Season 2.

8 – What if it wasn't Aziraphale and Crowley who performed the 25 Lazarii miracle? A mini-meta in which I propose the theory that Jimbriel helped with the miracle to hide himself away from Heaven & Hell.

9 – Things in Good Omens Season 2 I still find weird (reblog) A reblog of @ok-sims and many other great OPs' thoughts on the weird loose strings in Season 2 and what unanswered questions I still have myself.

10 – The Deleted Bookshop Scene (reblog) A reblog of @skirtdyke's video and @i-only-ever-asked-questions' smart thoughts on it, with my own overly-excited 'what that could have meant for the "It's too late" line'-theroy.

11 – The Bentley Handle Easter Egg A meta I can proudly say has been liked by none other than Mr. Neil Gaiman himself about Crowley's Bentley handle that might have existed before the Bentley ever did.

12 – The F*cking Eccles Cakes A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a pastry. (Addendum: People said very smart things in the comments of the post!)

14 – Re: "You go too fast for me, Crowley" A meta in which I make myself sad by connecting that infamous line to Aziraphale assuming Crowley wanted the Holy Water as a suicide pill.

13 – Trauma-Dumping on your plants: The Anthony J. Crowley Chronicles A meta on why Crowley treats his plants the way that he does.

14 – Demonic Mental Health Awareness Post In which I talk about why I want to get Crowley a therapy voucher.

15 – The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens A meta on why the Flaming Sword has no deeper meaning. Or does it? (Updated: here's a reblog from @queerfables who did a wonderfully exellent job at calmly explaining all the swordy questions I was yelling about! Consider this meta solved.)

16 – Ceci n'est pas une plume A meta in which I'm a bit of a nerd for language and also explain why learning French and magic the human way says so much about Aziraphale as a character.

17 – The meaning of "I forgive you" A meta in which I explain what both "I forgive you"s mean and why Aziraphale will always fight for what is right until he wins. Also, the lovely @sharksbeerr translated it to Chinese on Weibo!

18 – Memory, or the lack thereof, in Season 2 A little reblog on how memory is a big and unresolved, leaky-bucket theme in Season 2.

19 – „It‘s always too late.“ (ft. Crowley‘s watch)

A short meta about that lines from Season 2 that won‘t leave my brain (and also Crowley‘s mysterious watch).

Addendum:

The one non-spoiler-y ask I could come up with about S2 that was actually answered by Neil, yay!

Also, this wholesome little post I added to that Mr. Gaiman also reblogged. :‘)

*** This is a work in progress and will get updated every time I post a new meta! ***

[randomyuu]

the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

My guy Vox once again graced us with lovely Goyuu fanfics, and the way it follows you home, the stories i never told, made me go FERAL.

Time travel? Two Gojou Satorus? Double affection for our sunshine Yuuji? Yuuji sandwich? What feels like possible continuation of (you'll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become???

FUCK.

I need to stop indulging my imagination too much. I should’ve been content with writing long-ass comments but noooooo, my brain goes “you gotta draw it”. DAMMIT VOX, YOU AND YOUR DELICIOUS WRITINGS HHHHHH

So… usually I should’ve picked a favourite scene that is within my drawing capability, but I just… love all three chapters??? So I made a questionable time investment? I can’t stop??? Help???

This is probably the most ambitious fanart project I’ve ever done so far. Fair enough, considering I might combust if I keep these welled-up emotions inside from reading Vox’s Goyuu fics. Fuck.

Fic info:

Title: the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

Author: @voxofthevoid

Pairing: YuuGoGo. Future!Yuuji, Future!Gojou, Teen!Gojou

(idk why I laugh writing YuuGoGo. I’m beyond help)

Currently, it is 3 chapters out of 8. And it’s gonna be NSFW chapter 4 onwards, so don’t forget to read the tags first, folks!

The drawings are under Read More, because I have lots of thoughts surrounding each chapter and drawings. It’ll be hella long if I didn’t hide it here. It was a mess down there. A combination of hours before, during, and after I read said fic. I’d say good luck finding the art among the sea of jumbled words but… you’ll find them easily. Don’t worry about it haha

SPOILERS FOR ALL 3 CHAPTERS! I highly recommend reading those first before diving into these drawings!

Also for the comics, read from right to left please!

From here on, I will be referring to the Future!Gojou as Gojou and the teenage one as Satoru.

Overall, drawing all these is fun! Really fun! This project pushed me quite hard, forcing me to test my limit (because I rarely draw this much back to back). Since this is a combination of drawings and comics, the coloring style will not be consistent. In a way, I want to try some brushes I never get to use, as well as try out my new graphic tablet. Drawing these got me giggling because I was finally able to let loose during line art. It's much easier to do so, and sometimes I just get to reread the fic and giggle to myself for the nth time.

CHAPTER 1:

Whooo. Whooooooooo—

Ok, ok, the premise is just that good. It intrigued me, fascinated me, and I just… oomph. I cannot refuse a Time Travel Yuuji Sandwich. Sign me up.

Honestly, there are two scenes that are just… a bit too clear in my mind when reading this chapter. That would be the one I drew above, and the other is when Yaga called Gojou to come outside of the class. I love, loooove how Vox wrote Satoru’s POV. And when Yuuji fucking giggles?

I lost it.

Can you imagine, drawing Yuuji grins, with shiny stuff, maybe some sunlight, just purely happy and indulging Gojou?

Help me, for I am drowning in my love and adoration for Yuuji.

Page 2 is an experiment on using harsh black as shading (kind of?). I really enjoyed colouring Yuuji, and drawing those buffalo skulls! I wish I can grasp the concept of contrast a bit better tho :v

CHAPTER 2:

This is probably the only chapter where I picture still images instead of comic panels. A bit like those cool chapter covers in mangas. The one I really, really want to draw is the scene with Satoru on the table. Can’t pass the opportunity to highlight Satoru being a brat, albeit a really cool brat.

Cool idea drawing always proves to be a challenge, because of course my artistic skill just so happens to be below the requirement. Thank you, Sketchfab, for the chair and desk’s perspective otherwise I’m screwed lmao

The second scene that I want to draw the most is this:

Gojou is one step away from climbing Yuuji. Also, I have a bit of a problem picturing a man pouting that makes him look crazy instead, so please have Gojou pouting adorably instead. Because, as Yuuji said (with love), Gojou is (also) a brat.

This is possibly my favorite art in this project, after Yuuji's in Chapter 1 page 2. It's clean because I don't have to draw background, and I was having a fun time drawing Yuuji. And Gojou's squishy cheek as well.

Oh, actually, there is a “manga” scene in this chapter. It’s when Yuuji said, “I love Satoru.”

I just—

AAAAAHHHHH YUUJIIIIIII YOU AND VOX ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. That secure relationship between Yuuji and Gojou? Satoru’s description of how Yuuji’s smile could blot out the sun??? Not me screaming 💀 I also see bits of hints of possible co-dependency, though I could be reading those wrong, but either way I’m good. Secure and possessive relationships are fun to consume hhhhhh

But yeah. There are too many wholesome Yuuji smiles in this fic, and I… I am not confident enough to draw genuine happiness. It’s too much for me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

For this chapter, another reason why I chose these two scenes is just because I want to try and draw cover-worthy pictures of Yuuji and Satoru, and Yuuji and Gojou (cough)

CHAPTER 3:

We start the chapter with Nanamin. Ah, Nanamin. I forgot what his teen self looked like and was surprised to see his design again lmao

I want to draw Yuuji and Nanami scene because… I just want to, I guess. I have never drawn him before (Yaga as well) so that's an interesting challenge. I got two ideas on how I want to draw it. One is a bit painting-esque, and the other one is like another chapter cover. In the end, I chose the cover one because I want to emphasise the difference between teen!Nanami and the Nanami from Yuuji’s original timeline, and how the watch feels like a connection between the same (yet not) person. It’s a bittersweet feeling? In a way?

I’m not really good at explaining my intention ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

I love Yuuji’s answer to Nanami's question.

AND FINALLY.

A Yuuji SandwichTM scene.

And oh B O I do I love it. Have I told you I like every chapter? I probably have. But this one? Satoru’s curiosity, Yuuji’s on-brand self-deprecation, and Gojou come strolling down to show more of Yuuji to his mini-self. I want to draw this whole scene, from Gojou finding them, feeding Yuuji snacks, bitch-slapping Satoru into the backroom, to Yuuji growling. Them trying to hide a boner from Yuuji’s growl got me cackling so hard I LOVE IT 😭

I love it all. Please love Yuuji in my stead, Satoru and Satonyan :3

Oh! Also! 40-finger Yuuji sounds really, really cool! I’ll be happy with whatever Vox will give us in future chapters, but 40-finger Yuuji… possible scene with this timeline’s Sukuna… my god. The action! The drama! The bloodshed! One can only hope.

However, as much as I love that whole scene, it’s still too much for me :”) I’m still not yet confident in delivering the humour and action. Also my already-long drawing plan had my brain groaning in protest so I can’t push my luck :'D

When Gojou said "He looks sweet, but he's a bit of a beast", I kept picturing Yuuji staring innocently, but there was an edge to his look. As if the moment Satoru looks away, he will pounce. But in the end I just stick with innocent-looking Yuuji because I accidentally drew his eyes that way and I want to keep it in lol

Since Satoru points out how soft and cuddly Yuuji is, I also want to draw soft Yuuji :v

And the last one… is the last scene. For some reason, I read that both Gojou and Satoru share Yuuji’s lap and was having a frustrating yet fun time figuring out how it’s… physically possible, without having their butts on the ground because they both are not small at all. As I lined the art, I reread it again and… perhaps I read it wrong? Satoru is beside Yuuji, and not on his lap? So yeah, this one might be the least accurate, but hey, at least you can view it as a crack drawing or something :v

AAAANNNDDD I HAVE EXCEEDED TODAY’S BRAIN CAPACITY OF FORMING WORDS

Have I told you I love this fic?

…I probably have.

Have an amazing week (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[bambiilooloo]

kind of a rant/critique on dt17

it is my fav show but this really bothers me. idk if my rant gets to the point but i hope u can get at least some of what i'm trying to say

i love gandra and then i realised how much of her character i just made up in my head. i convinced myself she had a great redemption arc. like bro she really didn't?? everything happens off screen. i still love her but i was watching swanstantine and she flash bomed webbers and dew and i was like WOAH and like why was i surprised??she would do that!!

but that makes her sudden redemption later so weird?? and yea ik she was always complcated and i get it but it was still SO rushed. i agree she always had good in her but i can't let go her actually harming and helping harming kids and not getting any on screen reprucussions other than anxiety huey ya know?

her and fenton just suck face in late s3 and like cute sure. but it leaves u feeling meh

they're so lame. i want them to die

back on topic. that's a problem with dt17 in general i think. they have SO MANY characters that that wanna do a lot with and they hint at such interesting things (eg : THE DELLA + GYRO DYNAMIC i'm obsessed with and have fanfictions play out in head but there are only crumbs in the show) but never do anything with them. or at least not enough. and u can say it's cuz it only had 3 seasons and yea i see that but it's just smth i wanna talk about

like this scene is adorable but can we talk about how gladstone and fethry ur supposed to feel like they are part of the squad in moonvasion but they're BARELY in the fucking show?? AND DON'T THINK I'LL FORGET HOW THEY GLOSS OVER FETHRY'S TREATMENT- the show sure did

by the finale, we're supposed to think they're this big happy family but like?? fendra developemt was all off-screen, gyro's bond with b.o.y.d is never developed after their reunion, may and june sure are there i guess. i love all the characters i mentioned but mostly cuz of what we can do with them further

AND QUACKFASTER IS A LEGEND. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT HER MORE BTW. I LOVE THAT LADY. LOOK AT HER GO!!

i think it's a testement to the show's great character writing how much i love these characters that ultimately get very little screentime but again the fact they have so little to do is annoying and they can do so much with these characters and their stories still.

HEY ALMOST LIKE WHAT HUEY'S PODCAST COULD'VE BEEN HMMMMMMMMM

it's a strength how endearing the side characters are and the potential they have and it's annoying how there's like no official content rlly delving into the ideas they clearly had.

I LOVE FAN INTEREPRETATIONS SO MUCH CUZ OF THAT U GUYS SLAYYY

also WE NEEDED MORE GOLDIE. SHE'S THE BEST I LOVE HER

ok i have more thoughts but rant over for now. if anyone wants to talk about ducktales, plz invade my ask box.

i'm taking a break doing coloured drawings of them but i might post my sketches idk. i'll do the colour pallete requests i have in my ask box within the next week tho

i love u duckblr

[54625]

With the upcoming Fit lore later today, I figured it may be useful to transcribe his earlier lore drops for those of you who may not have been there, or want a refresher. These were attempts to contact the contractor to relay information, and happened before the dreams.

-First attempt-

(Text appears on screen.

CONNECTING...

BYPASSING FEDERATION FIREWALL

ATTEMPT FAILED

ERROR)

Fit- Hello, it's me.

Fit- Sorry I've been taking my sweet time.

Fit- I've been busy...

Fit- We need to pivot from our original plan.

Fit- I've adopted a son, and I've been caring for him.

Fit- I've grown attached to him, so he's been my priority.

Fit- Being a single dad is a challenge at times.

Fit- But it's much easier than the nomadic lifestyle.

Fit- Life here is very different from the wasteland.

Fit- But I haven't forgotten our agreement.

Fit- I will fullfil my contractual obligations.

Fit- They're still falling for the whole "vacation" thing.

Fit- I ask that you be patient though, as we have a problem.

Fit- Something called "The Federation" controls this entire island.

Fit- They've been keeping us here.

Fit- As long as they are in the way, I can't access what you are looking for.

Fit- And the anti-cheat on the island is strong.

Fit- I haven't been able to use my abilities.

Fit- The Federation must be eliminated for this to succeed.

Fit- I've gained everyone's trust and made friends...

Fit- I've been helping their fight against the Federation in order to advance our plan.

Fit- Still... It hurts me to see everyone suffering...

Fit- Some have lost things they cared about...

Fit- But this struggle is an unfortunate necessity...

Fit- The conflict is increasing the value of what you seek...

Fit- I know you're paying me...

Fit- But have you considered......

...the true cost?

Fit- regardless of my personal feelings, I'll slowly move the plan forward.

Fit- I hope you find what you're looking for.*

Fit- It's getting late...*

MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

Disconnecting....

*(it is worth noting that these are messages Fit had previously sent in the Minecraft global chat in that odd font.)

-Second attempt-

(Text appears on screen.

CONNECTING...

BYPASSING FEDERATION FIREWALL)

Fit- Checking in.

Fit- I am messaging you again to keep you updated on my progress.

Fit- The Federation still has full control of the island.

Fit- They've been putting on some strange election....

Fit- I'm assuming to keep everyone occupied.

Fit- However, it seems they've let a vulnerability slip.

Fit- Player data and statistics are being tracked.

Fit- The Federation must have this data stored somewhere on the island.

Fit- If I had to guess, it's likely the computer system of the Federation offices.

Fit- If I tried to break in and access the data, they would likely capture me...

Fit- It would not end well.

Fit- However, whoever wins this election will likely have open access.

Fit- Perhaps they could be persuaded... Or tricked into giving us access.

Fit- I will fullfil the contract.

Fit- And yet... I'm starting to wonder....

Fit- What are you actually trying to achieve?

Fit- Even if I can access the data, what good would it do?

Fit- I'm skeptical, but I hope to hear from you soon........

(This island...... Is worse than I thought....)

(Text appears on screen.

Windows XP

Task failed successfully.

[OK] )

(A cinematic showing various scenes from QSMP and 2B2T play. All the images from the former are in full colour, while all the images from the latter are in black and white. A video of a capybara eating grass plays. It is in black and white.)

If I left anything particularly important out, let me know!

[smilingangel582]

Many many fics for this anime are going wiiild! Heeey guys sooo thanks for the likes and follows . Ik I'm a selfish one to not let yall ask me stuff but I appreciate u all keeping up with my selfishness.

Teeheee, so enjoy another tickle fic from me if ya like!

Warning spoilers for Windbreaker ep 10

Something simple as "love"

Umemiya is the top of Bofurin. Sakura can't even think about competing with him. Even if he often retorted that, he would take the top dog spot someday.

But will he though? What will he achieve then? Will he be someone like Toyama from Shishitoren?

"Sakura-kun~?" A poke to his ribs made him jump a foot and whirled around with his fists like a defence mechanism. His eyes were wide and alert like a cat.

The boy with the eye patch grins at him. Next to him is Nirei, who looks as bright as always.

"Sakura-San, are you OK? You look so deep in thought?" Nirei tilts his head now looking at Sakura, who has been by the window. Lowering his fists with a sigh, he rolls his eyes. "Nothing..."

Suo being the perceptive one, hums under his breath, smirking with adornment, "Are you still hung up on your feelings for Togame-san?"

There it is... the flustered tomato face Sakura-kun they all love.

"Huuuh? Y-you -I am not! I don't like t-that guy!"

His little growl deepened when they both grinned and exchanged fond glances. Sakura grits his teeth with a low grumble, looking sideways.

Suo closes towards him, patting his head as if he's a bashful puppy, "Aww, Sakura-kun, dont very shy... liking someone is very sweet. After all, we like you too"

"Hey!" Sakura slapped his hand, which made Suo poke his side, causing the younger of the two to let out a yelp.

Nirei laughs, gently tugging at his arm, "Sakura-san, are you still embarrassed, I thought Umemiya-san told u about those stuff already?"

Conflicted with reacting to Suo's poke and Nirei's persistence, he just clenched his fists with an inward grumble.

Getting this to his advantage, Suo quickly got behind Sakura to prod his sides again but this time gently and non stop.

"H-hey! N-not that... s-stop it!" Sakura shifted away from him, hopping from one foot to the other, but Nirei hook his arm under Sakura to keep him in place.

"Oh! Ticklish? Sakura-san that's so cute!" The blond's eyes glistened as he mentally noted Sakura cute when he's tickled.

"I Am nohot!" A giggle slips when Suo used his fingers to crawl up his sides. Ah, ribs it is...

"Hmm~ Sakura-kun do you really like your friends?"

Again with this like question?! Sakura groaned as he felt their predatory fingers capture every sensitive spot. Honestly, the last thing he wanted was being tickled. He never felt this before... its not really bad-

"AHHH! SHIHIHIT Thahahahats, ehehehenough!"

Ok, Suo needs to stop tormenting his hips.

Wait? Why are they even tickling him in the first place?

As if Nirei could read his mind he points out, "Sakura-san you need to accept that you love your friends. It's nothing to be embarassed about... you are cool guy even if you say you love us..."

Sakura blushes furiously. The won't even let him revert back to his original colour. He couldn't help but shriek when Suo tackles him to the ground. Instantly causing a scene when the rest of the classmates began to laugh at his predicament.

"OHOHOHOI! SUHUHUO DOHOHONT EVEN TRY!"

"Aww you called my name... does that mean you love me?"

"Eeeh??" Sakura wheezes in embarassment, his throat croaking awkwardly without even saying anything.

"Hey Suo, see if the tough guy is ticklish somewhere else?"

"Dohohohont ehehehencourage hihihim!" Sakura struggled to grab Suo's hands which were miraculously flying around poking his ribs and torso without care. At least his hips are not targeted.

"Oh, what about this spot~?" Nirei from behind whispers in his ear which made him scrunch his shoulder with a shrilled cry, "No!"

Suo's eyes widened with amusement, "Nice Nirei-kun, that has to be one of his worst spots..."

Unable to expose his midriff as his hands are still fight for dear life to protect any spot on his belly but now his shoulders raised up to avoid Nirei's curiois timid fingers around tracing his ears.

"W-wow Sakura-san your ears are even redder whenever I touch them."

"Aw man, Sakura-kun looks cute... its giving me diabetics now"

They laughed at the joke and also Sakura's shrieks of giggly protests that raised and cackled giddily.

His legs kicked and slammed against the floor but they didn't help at all.

"AHAHAHA MEHEHERCY! EHEHEHE IHIHI CANT! EHEHEE"

Nirei stopped but Suo lingered a bit longer now gently tracing patterns over Sakura's sides.

"Admit one thing Sakura..."

"W-Whahahat is ihihit dahahamn it?"

Suo grins, "Say you love your friends"

Silence, Sakura looks pale and his already flsuehd face got brighter like a cherry. The other classmates whooped and hooted playfully, "Sakuraaa~ sayyy you love your friends..."

"Lets hold a wedding for him too~"

Amongst the chatters and laughter. Sakura grumbles but still giggling as Suo just continued his little teasing touches on his stomach, "U-ugh... I dont... wanna... -ack!"

"Hmm~?" Suo scribbled his fingers tips over the one spot across the side of his belly, "Don't wanna or can't do it?"

Nirei chuckles uneasily, "Sakura-san you don't have to force yoursel-"

"No I wanna hear it," Kiryu the pink haired guy with piercings finally removed his airport, with his tilted smile he gestures, "It's not bad to love your friends... its so simple... unless you're afraid..."

Sakura groans, both from that sentence and Suo's merciless taunts. He sigh, "F-Fine just... just let me up..."

Suo stops now, helping Sakura up to his feet. Despite the initial wobble, he straightens up and mumbles, "I don't hate... you guys..."

"Ah ah ah... say it properly Sakura-kun" Suo sways towards him, closely leaning on his shoulder, making Sakura squeak when he felt a hand on his waist, "A-ah alright alright... geez..."

He blushes furiously, now looking sideways tenaciously but with surrender. "I like you g-guys... ok?"

"Louderrrrr~?" Someone from the back teases.

"PUNK! I SAID I LIKE YALL! NOW LEAVE ME BE!" Sakura snaps, raising his arms to ruffle his hair in frustration before he storms away attempting to go outside of the classroom. However as he made it to the door he bumps into Sugishita, who menacingly looks down at him.

"Watch it brat..."

"AAAH? YOU WANNA FIGHT GREASE BALL?" Sakura raised his fists with a growl. Yup, just like a cat. An angry tsundere kitten...

Suo laughs at his own similie before pointing out, "Without Sakura, what will we do? He's so fun..."

Kiryu chuckles along with him. "Indeed, we all need a Sakura-chan to satisfy our lives."

Nirei, being the concerned mother of the group, steps towards Sakura to grab him and hold him back from violence. "S-sakura-san pleaaase don't fight..."

Sakura just hissed at Sugishita, who continues to glare, not really doing anything since he doesn't want to fight behind Umemiya's back. He just gave grimaces and irritated glances further triggering Sakura to anger. Sakura wheezes like a provoked cat... Nirei is strong enough to hold him back luckily.

One of the classmates laughed and gestured with amusement, "Someone tickle Sakura so he'll stop picking unnecessary fights..."

"Oh, right? Now we know his weakness..."

Suo smirks at the suggestion and looks at Kiryu, "Round 2?"

Kiryu winks, with a similar calculative beaming smile. "Ready when you are Suo-chan..." He advances forward where Sakura is, while adding towards the heterocrhomic boy, wiggling his fingers, "Ohhh Sakuraaaa-chaan....~?"

Suo steps forward as well, looking through the spectacle as he waits for his turn.

Freshmen classes aren't always this enthusiastic... but this year... it is very lively. Because they have a Sakura-kun.

[aroacedm]

here’s 12 pictures of my art! context after each and my references at the end

tgcf spoilers!

12th

redrawing of the official art from tgcf volume 4! shi qingxuan is my favourite character and he xuan is a close second

this took me a while until i liked it but i wanted to recreate how the original created the ominous feeling and had so much detail and contrast while being in greyscale

11th

from the tgcf manhua, fengqing! i think their my favourite ship, and i hadn’t drawn them before so i tried to give it a go. not a big fan of the proportions but i think it turned out ok.

10th

@oceantherat (this is their favourite character from rain code) showed me the reference picture and i decided to try drawing it as perspective practice. it ended up a little bigger than i though so i couldn’t fit the whole reference, and the mask doesn’t feel rounded, but overall i like it

9th

same guy again! i wanted to try drawing him again but i think the shadows got a bit messed up. my cheap pens smudged a bit but overall i like it

8th

also from the tgcf manhua, this was from a meme that’s become an bit with me and ocean, just felt like drawing something and saw this in my photos

7th

after a dnd session with ocean and some other friends, i drew a scene from ocean’s character’s (also called ocean because that’s not their irl name) flashback! this guy killed her family! he’s one of her relatives! but i really wanted to focus on how dark the scene was, with almost everything being pitch black. i wanted to recreate the scene that left my players going D:

6th

here’s a younger ocean and her cousin that’s more like a brother! i hope nothing bad happens to him… i wanted to draw a picture that helped me as a reference for the backstory, to help build the character relationships and motivations

5th

it’s another character from that dnd campaign when they were younger with their brother figure! except this one is an NPC helping them out! i wanted to try and make the effect of torn paper but didn’t want to risk anything, so i left a bit of uncoloured paper to imitate a layer of partially torn paper. this was also to help when i was writing backstories

4th

this is the npc from the last picture in present time, i wanted to make canon designs for all the characters to help me visualise everything. i hid a few lore elements in this but because ocean is going to see this i can’t explain

3rd

i tried to redraw a picture of me and a friend on a ride together but in a more simple style (no eyes and mouth, ect) i haven’t shown the friend yet but i will soon. i’m the person looking at the camera. i really loved the photo and wanted to try drawing it

2nd

i drew this a while ago, but i still really like it. i used my own hand as reference (for some reason i used the hand i was drawing with) i’ve always been fairly good at drawing hands and when i sent this on an art group chat i’m in, i was quickly accused of being a witch. i can only draw to a level i like when i have a reference, and i always have my hands so it’s the thing i’ve drawn the most. i didn’t have the colour for my hands, but i think it turned out good

and finally,

i’m really proud of this one, i was sick and really bored when i drew it. this is from tgcf vol 6, but i’ve always been really impressed by the tgcf official art and how they look hand drawn but also digital. (you can see brush strokes but they look too perfect). i didn’t have all the different shades of grey, but i think i did well.

thanks for looking at all my art, here are the references i used and where they’re from

i don’t have the reference for number 9 but i’ll reblog with it when i find it

also i plan on showing more of my art but i need to find the original authors of the references

[stagefoureddiediaz]

RWRB costume/ colour meta!

Ok, lets do this!!

Man have I missed writing costume/colour meta, so its good to have something to write about again! This took me far far longer than it should have - I kept getting distracted by the film while I was working on this - I'd go looking for a clip or to grab a still and end up just watching the film again 😂😂😂 but I've finished it and I hope you all enjoy it! Grab a beverage of your choice because this thing is a beast coming in at over 7000 words - I totally understand if you want to skip, but I have ADHD and do not know how to be concise 😂😂😂

Red white and royal blue employs several fun and interesting costume and colour theories (also made use of in the set design) to help tell the story of Alex and Henry. I’m not going to write a detailed meta for each costume - I just don’t have the time - but I am going to look at some costume/ colour details in focus, especially for Henry and Alex as well as highlighting other interesting choices! I also do not have the picture limit (I need more than 30!!!) to include every image I would like to, so if you want to see what I'm talking about, you might have to go check out the relevant scenes (I'll try to give you timestamps where I can!) I’ve kind of tried to do things chronologically, but I’ve left Alex and Henry to the end so if I don’t talk about them very much in the rest of this meta - that is why! putting it under a cut because its so long!

The royal Wedding

There are a couple of key themes here, the wedding party (consisting Lady Martha, Bea and Henry) have a distinct colour palette - dusty blue, dusty pink and Ivory, with the exception of Prince Phillip who is in his red Dress uniform - they’ve used a red uniform to make him stand out, convey that he is more important than the bride (what with his being in line for the throne and all that jazz) and hint at power - red is a power colour. 

I’m not sure what royal orders the collar and riband that Henry is wearing are supposed to represent as they don’t belong to a specific British order - if I had to take a punt I’d say his red collar is meant to be a AU version of a Knight Grand Cross of the order of the bath but the one he’s wearing certainly isn’t a real order in the UK (it isn’t meant to be an order of the garter as that is the highest ranking order and Henry would then also be wearing the light blue riband we see on Prince Phillip) the royal blue riband with the red edging is more i line with the night grand cross of the order of Victoria, although in real life that riband should be for in the opposite direction. My feeling is that they wanted a red collar on Henry to play into the red as a symbol of power theme they’ve used on Prince Phillip, placing Henry as having the ‘power’ in his conversation with Alex (as he is on home turf) and the royal blue sash is a deliberate choice that I will talk about later when I focus in on Henry and I think its actually pretty significant as a choice. essentially the order insignia he is wearing are not real orders which is totally fine as this is essentially and au royal family!

We do have to talk about that wedding gown - not royal in the slightest - spaghetti straps and a low back would never be allowed for a royal bride, the dress is also too long on her (but that’s a different conversation about budgets and rental gowns so we’ll let it slide here!!) and her hair should also be fully up - not in the half up do she has going on! The colour is also wrong - she would have been tied to a very limited colour palette of white or ivory - no colour in a royal wedding gown, so the blush colour we see is a no go! I totally get why they did what they did with her gown in terms of colour and I’m fine with that choice (i’ll explain more in the next paragraph), I even get the fairytale princess look they were going for with that dress -  but when you’re trying to portray a family so stuck in tradition and history etc, I can’t help but feel that they missed a trick to show her as buttoned up, conforming to the crown etc, especially as we never see her again!

At the reception we see pretty much everyone in colour of some description, with the exception on Alex and Nora who are both in black - this is why Lady Martha’s wedding dress is a pale blush pink colour rather than white. The only reason that the men aren’t in colour (if they’re not in dress uniform) is because they are wearing white tie for the formality of a royal wedding, otherwise I think we would’ve seen coloured ties or some such on them. This is intentional because the room has a general (muted) wash of colour which serves to highlight Alex and Nora, making them stand out and look like they don’t really belong. 

Its a way of creating a them and us vibe and helps to establish the rivalry between Alex and Henry - we have a British scene, full of colourful clothing and the only identified foreigners are in black and white. We actually only see a black and white colour palette for the clothing of the Americans until Alex returns from his PR fix it trip to London after cakegate, while nearly all the Brits all were colour of some description - we can see this clearly in the hospital - all the children in colour, Henry in blues and - Henrys security in coloured ties while Amy is there totally in black.

Alex himself does wear navy blue but its a dark navy and that jacket is actually two tone - black and navy and its paired with black trousers in this scene - we see it again later - paired with taupe trousers which really helps to establish this idea of colour entering Alex's world once Henry is in it.

Sets

I’m going to pause on clothing here to quickly talk about the sets in the film and their colour palettes because they fall into three distinct categories;

We have the sage dusty greens, gold and bright reds of the British spaces - they have a regency and victorian air to them, all very traditional, opulent and royal in feel - they are the definition of a gilded cage and are ostentatious and Henry’s bedroom even fits into this mould (its very telling that we only see very limited physical intimacy between the two of them in this space - because its a space that neither of them truly fit or belong in) with its sagely green walls that echo the green walls of the state room the big royal family showdown occurs in. 

Then we have the creams, taupes and beiges (with a bit of minty green for the walls of oval office) of the America spaces combined with the very intentional colour choice of that rusty orange (there is also the red room but that is a whole other conversation - I’ll go into it later).

The Rusty orange is such a colour choice, its rich and eye-catching. All colours have meanings associated with them - these can vary wildly depending on where and how they are used and have both positive and negative connotations.

Generally speaking, orange is an attention grabber - its energetic and stimulating, but it also conveys transformation and endurance. This orange has brown undertones which means we should also reference brown colour meanings when thinking about what the colour means on screen - brown is a safe colour and it is also strong and reliable, but it can also portray a sense of loneliness - that is something I think is a really interesting concept - we see Henry in Alex’s world (through the text chats as well as in the first blowjob scene) on the rusty orange sofas and one of the underlying major parts of who Henry is, he is enduring like the orange (and his royal status make him an attention grabber without needing to try) but there is that underlying sense of loneliness - yes he might’ve had a crush on Alex since the climate conference, but as soon as the air had been cleared between them during the PR trip Henry reached out and pursued Alex because he was lonely and wanted a friend - not knowing if it could ever be more than a friendship.

Then, finally we have the spaces Henry and Alex occupy - spaces which are just theirs to occupy - spaces when they are themselves - these are predominately yellow and blue spaces, with some deep colours such as the teal we see on the walls of Alex’s room and the red room.

I’ll go into more detail about all the yellow and blue in this film a bit later on in this meta, but to provide a comment on the red room - red is a colour of passion and love, but this shade of red they’ve chosen maintains that orange undertone we see in the rest of the American spaces.

I wrote a post on the choice of red calla lilies and how they are both a symbol of love and commitment, as well as a phallic symbol of sexuality, and I know Alexander Hamilton was on the wall in the book, but he is there not only because he was very likely bi, but also because he was the subject of what is known as the first political sex scandal - something our boys are essentially also themselves going to end up becoming!

Once Alex does return stateside we start to see colour begin to fill his world. This is a really interesting thematic choice - think how the wizard of Oz (a film very much associated with gay culture - ‘a friend of Dorothy’ was a slang code used by gay men to identify one another and there is obviously the rainbow connotation) begins in black and white and then transitions to colour as soon as Dorothy wakes up in Oz. This film is playing on that same trope/ concept - this is a story essentially told from Alex’s perspective, so Henry and his world is already in colour - its only when Alex enters that world and becomes entwined with it that colour starts to seep into his life - its done in a much more subtle way, but it is there - even during the text bantering they have going one while he is watching a film with Nora - it is a black and white film (‘Some Like it Hot’ - its self a film that helped open conversations about queer identity and the queer community at a time when the Hays code was still in operation and when Sodomy laws still existed in the US, but that is a whole other conversation and lots has been written about it before, its one of my favourite films and if you want to know more then head to your search engine of choice or hit up my inbox! It’s also a film our director Matthew Lopez adapted for the stage which is possibly partly why it was chosen for this scene- as a nod to his other work!)and they are both wearing grey while Henry is in colour (cream and blue - playing into the queer coded yellow blue theming) and sits on the bright orange sofa.

I cannot tell you how much I am in love with the Koi carp on Alex’s dressing room wall because the symbolism - the symbolism!!!!! Koi are seen as a symbol of strength, patience, perseverance, love and bravery they symbolise success through courage. Koi are known to swim against the current and overcome great obstacles - there is a Japanese proverb ‘Koi no Takinobori’ which translates as 'koi swim up waterfalls' and as the word Koi in Japanese also translates to mean love the proverb therefore means that love can go against the current and overcome great obstacles and if that isn’t the perfect metaphor for Alex and Henry’s relationship then I don’t know what is!!

I am obsessed and I adore the set designer for including that wallpaper in general, but especially in their text banter flirty developing relationship - the writing is essentially on the wall for where their relationship is going and how its going to unfold - they are literally Koi swimming agains the current and overcoming great obstacles to be together!!

Back to the costuming!

As I said previously - when Alex returns from the PR trip we start to see increasing amounts of colour and it starts with blue - Oscar is wearing a blue shirt - a colour we only see him in for that scene and then again at the end of the film - during election night. Its an important choice - Henry's colour is blue - its the colour we nearly always see him in some form of blue so for this to essentially be the first colour that appears in the clothing in Alex's world is telling in its own way - it is the beginning of the slow saturation of Henry in the world of Alex. Oscar is always in tan colour-ways apart from those two scenes and generally speaking we see him wearing Mexican tribal and geometric prints/patterns and cowboy boots - playing into his Mexican heritage, but also establishing him as Texan.

Miguel is clearly set out as the baddie to us all - head to toe  in black all the time expect at the PM dinner - when he has to wear a white shirt because its etiquette - but they do make sure to give him black buttons on that shirt - which separates him from everyone else in dinner dress very clearly and keeps the undertone of untrustworthiness going.

The other thing to note is the grey fuzzy jacket he wears when being interviewed on the news. I’ve spoken before in my 911 meta’s about how the use of the grey fuzzy patterning is symbolic of confusion or obfuscation and that holds true here - Miguel is called out as being the one who hacked and leaked the emails by the presenter and he tries to bluff his way out - to obfuscate the truth.

We see the idea of green and jealousy play out a couple of times in the film - the flirty girl that tries to commandeer Alex and kisses him at the NYE party is wearing a very blatantly iridescent green dress which sets her apart from the rest of the crowd and then when the crowd drops low we also get the green lights on the DJ desk - while the scene is a play on the I saw you across a crowded room idea, there is also that undercurrent of jealousy - Henry is Jealous of Alex’s ease and that he cannot have him loudly and in the way he wants - highlighting that jealousy helps to build into Henrys later actions when he throws caution to the wind and kisses him under the tree. 

Ellen Claremont has a narrow colour palette as well - we only see her in black in that first scene and in the ‘new Texas strategy’ arguement with Alex, after that her dominant colour is cream and we also see plenty of red which is a power choice - she wears it in scenes when she needs to convey power and status such as at the PM dinner or when she is shutting down his Texas strategy. The cream is the base colour for her - its a colour of elegance, sophistication, it is also a neutral colour - playing into her position as POTUS, but also when she wears it in one on one scenes with Alex, it is a sign of her being a mother rather than the POTUS.

Zahra tends to wear blacks with one blue/grey cashmere jumper and when we do get colour on her they are jewel tones - purple and teal. We also get some more grey fuzzy patterning - again playing into my previous statements - here it is very much about confusion rather than obfuscation - she only wears the fuzzy grey when she finds out about Alex and Henry and has her mind blown by the knowledge. Its a perfect costuming choice for this scene as it conveys so much about where her brain is - that her mind has been blown by this huge thing she as just become privy to and it helps make her facial expressions even louder!

Nora wears a full spectrum of colours, the stand ones are obviously the red bodice and trousers she wears for new years and the pink shirt she wears in the office when Alex is having a mini bi panic and figuring himself and his attraction to Henry out. Generally speaking a characters costumes are meant to be about them and their own character, however with a film like this, everything is a driving point for the two main characters and so, other characters costumes will, at key points be less about the character wearing them and more about driving the story of the mains forward - this is very much the case with Nora’s red outfit (and we have already talked about the green of the flirty girl at new years representing jealousy).The red is very very red, it is meant to stand out and is a nod to romance - for both herself with Pez and for Alex and Henry, but Red is also a colour associated with passion and sexuality as well as fire and heat - essentially it is a marker that things are about to kick into action on the romance scale - we are heading from friends to lovers.

The pink shirt plays into the same theme - its a continuation, but a cooling down - less about the heat and passion of a sexual encounter, and more about the concept of romance and relationships - because that is what the conversation is ultimately about in this scene. We have the bi flag background helping to visually tell us what the conversation is about, but we also need to have that subtle reminder that this is not about fire and passion it is about the potential for romance - for love - because if Alex is going to hook up with Henry, it isn’t going to be a hook up, it going to be real. We do of course see things heat back up in the red room (as they should), but ultimately that is the last of the fiery heat we see - from then on anything connected with Alex and Henrys relationship is much more steadfast - the blues and yellows I will talk about in a minute!

Lets talk signet rings!! We see them worn on the male members of the royal family - so King James, Phillip and Henry - as well as Alex when Henry gives him his ring. their use is telling and significant. James and Phillip both wear their signet ring on the little finger of the right hand, while Henry (and Alex) wears his on the little finger of the left hand. in a general sense one would usually wear a signet ring on the little ringer of the non dominant hand - so if you’re a lefty you wear it on the right hand and vice versa if your right handed. This is not what is being portrayed here - all three of them are naturally right handed (yes I did spend far too much time on google to find this out!!) which would in theory mean all of them should have their rings on the left little finger and yet only Henry does.

There is however another explanation -  a ring worn on the right hand is symbolic of tradition conformity and rigidity and royalty (traditionally the monarch would wear a ring on the right hand and this was offered to subjects to kiss), wearing it on the dominant hand as a sign of power/ dominance. Henry and then Alex wear Henry’s ring on the left hand - the traditional hand that wedding bands are worn - because of the concept of the main artery running from the heart down the left arm and into the left hand, it is a symbol of love and life and connection to another person and is where the concept of the red string of fate comes from (which ties in nicely with Alex referring to the rope in his chest pulling him towards Henry). This all gains greater significance when Henry gives his ring to Alex and that he choses to also wear it on the left hand, its essentially a symbol of engagement and eternity - it is a sort of pre engagement I guess - and is a low key statement from Henry he is giving Henry Fox to someone for eternity - to Alex. 

Right, shall we talk about the yellow and blue theming that I keep mentioning. This specific theming, tends to be seen more in sets and lighting than costumes - although we do see it used in costuming too (looking at you Bea!!). For those not aware, there is a tendency to use yellow and blue colour-ways for queer story arcs - if you look at Heartstopper (esp s1) they have been using it to great effect , and it can be seen in other shows and films with queer character arcs to such as 911 (and Lonestar), as well as plenty of other mainstream media if you’re looking for it. I don’t know when or how it became a colour way associated with queer relationships - especially mlm relationships - I’ve not had the time to deep dive into that particular research spiral - but suffice to say we see it put to very very great effect here in Red White and Royal Blue - we only ever see it used as a colour way when it is regarding Alex and Henry and their romantic relationshipI’ve included some of the blue and yellow we see (couldn’t fit it all in - 30 pictures is apparently not enough!!!) surrounding Alex and Henry and there is plenty of it. The first time we see this yellow/blue theming come into play is at the turning point - when Henry opens up the lines of communication with his text message. Alex is in his room - the first time we’re seeing into his room - a room painted dark blue and full of yellow accents - the lamp on his desk and the unit to the side of the sofa, as well as the very yellow and blue painting we see above his bed (which was commissioned for the film and so the colour choice was very much deliberate). Just to show how prolific the yellow/blue colour way is here is a list of most of the occurrences - I've tried to include as many of them in the pictures as I can as well.

The copy of People is yellow and blue, the Jacket Alex wears for new year has gold and blue embroidery. The PM’s dinner has blue lighting with gold curtains and there are a lot of blue and yellow dresses being worn in the crowd when Alex is watching Henry. The cushion on the sofa behind Alex is yellow and blue. Then we get to the French hotel room and the Eiffel Tower - it is literally all yellow and blue - everything - even down to the blue (extra safe) condom packets. the New York hotel room is dark blue and gold another is a blue bottle of lube on the side (the condoms and lube are very much a deliberate colour choice - there are a million different colours you can buy both in so if the colour wasn’t important they could’ve chosen any, esp as fuchsia and red is the most common colour for both in the durex brand in the UK).

In England - Henry mostly occupies green spaces - in keeping with the royal theme I wrote about earlier - however the room he is most himself and most comfortable in is the music room/ library which is yellow and any time we see him in that space, he is wearing blue. It is telling that when the emails between Henry and Alex are hacked, his sanctuary is full of ‘old white men in suits’ and Henry cannot go in there - symbolic that who he is - his true self - has been violated and he is being forced into ‘royal coded’ spaces - back into his box as it were!

Back to costumes and he two blue hoodies. I’m gonna get a bit of hate for this, but the blue hoodie is actually two different hoodies! - they are slightly different shades of pale blue - Alex’s is much more dusty blue, while Henry’s is much more baby blue, they are also different cuts - Alex’s a traditional sleeve cut while Henry’s has a raglan sleeve cut (think baseball tee). There is the idea with these two hoodies that they are at different points in their journeys, but still connected and i love that we see them in them at really key points of crisis - they are a comfort blanket in a way - Alex wears his during is bi crisis and again when he's watching Miguel on the news and figures out who the hack was, while Henry wears his when he lets Alex in - when he opens up and unspokenly confesses his love for Alex, when he agreed to take the step and be brave - both are wearing these hoodies in moments when they need/want comfort the fact that they are wearing such similar hoodies speaks to the fact that in it is the other they want that comfort from (even if Alex doesn't actually realise it during his min bi crisis).

And now to our two mains - lets start with Henry.

Henry

The bulk of Henry’s wardrobe is double breasted suits - a key theme for the members of the royal family - not one else where’s them - its a fun costuming choice, cease generally speaking the double breasted suit isn’t in fashion at the moment - the film fit single breasted suits we see on the rest of the characters is. It's a very clear choice to create a them and us concept in a visual and telling way. the other thing to note about these db suits is that only Henry wears plain fabric - the ones we see on Phillip and James are pinstripe or woven stripe. I want to quickly mention the tie King James is wearing because of its very obvious pattern. it is the only loudly patterned tie in the entire film - all others are either, plain , striped or spotted. In the book Henry says that patterned ties are considered too political (i'm paraphrasing and can't find the actual quote!!) and here we have a king playing with politics wearing a patterned tie - I love tiny nods like this to the original source material that only those of us who love the book will pick up on - its just a tie to the ga!

Henry himself wears pinstripes - when he is at his most royal - so for example when he is taking part in the PR exercise post cakegate. His ties also fit into this theming - he almost exclusively wears striped ties excepting at a couple of key moments - when he’s undertaking skulduggery and the yellow one he wears for the election. at all other times he has stripes on his tie. the stripes get wider or skinnier depending on the situation - the wide ones tend to be for royal events while the skinnier stripes tend to be connected to Alex.

Another thing to note with Henry is the lack of black he wears - the only time is at the most royal of occasions - the wedding - all the rest of his suits are varying shades of blue or grey (and cream) even the tux he wears to the PM dinner is a dark navy with black lapel rather than black - it differentiates him from everyone else in the room (esp Miguel) and shows him as the object of Alex’s gaze. I also want to mention the royal blue theme we see on him - something I love Keith Madden for doing - Henry nearly always has something blue on him and a lot of the time (especially connected to times when he is doing something connected to his status as a royal) we see him wearing something royal blue - its why his riband at the wedding is royal blue rather than the lighter blue of the order of the garter - but we also see it in the royal blue socks we see him in several times, the royal blue pyjamas when the hack/leak comes to light and the blue shorts in Texas when he’s lying on the bed before he leaves to return to England. We also see him in a lot of blue shirts keeping that blue theme connected to him.

Then there is my most beloved check theory - (its a theory connected to 911 for those who don’t know my costume metas already) Check is connected to foreshadowing of trouble - Henry wears a check/plaid pattern at a couple of very very key moments - at the bar in Texas - when we see Alex realise his love is the forever kind, when he is back in England having broken his own heart in a misguided attempt to save Alex (gingham shirts in pink and blue) and then the suit he wears when he choses himself over the crown and steps out onto the balcony with Alex to greet the crowds has a subtle check pattern (not sure if you can see it its the pictures but if you watch the scene you should be able to) all of these are moments which foreshadow the upcoming or current trouble in his life.

Yellow roses - symbol of Texas being flipped - from Mexican to independent (and eventually becoming part of US) - symbol of the fact Texas is about to flip blue from red. Yellow roses are also a symbol of good luck more generally and the yellow tie is a great choice to suggest neutrality in the election scenes (at this point in time Henry still has royal status). We see Henry in a grey suit with this yellow tie - this only further highlights his escape from royal life - when he is un the US we do not see him wearing the navy blue suits we see him in in England - the only exception is the dark navy dinner jacket he wears to the PM dinner . In the US he wears either a grey suit or the cream/light blue suit we see him in when he visits the lake house and the light blue linen jacket we see him on his light back to the UK is the only single breasted jacket we ever see him in - I would have loved to have seen the grey suit at the end also have been single breasted, but I'm guessing budget constraints prevented that from happening, as it really would've highlighted the difference between Henry George Edward James Hanover-Stuart Fox and Henry Fox!

At the lake house we get a piece of costuming that I love - the slightly differing short lengths we see on Henry and Alex - it Alex’s shorts are always shorter than Henry’s - it maintains that sense of Henry be more closeted and buttoned up - the overhead shot of them on the pontoon shows it really clearly - the two of them have similar leg lengths which serves me well here to show this point - the shorts Henry is wearing are at least 3 inches longer (possibly more) than Alex's - it isn't just that one pair of shorts - all 3 pairs of Henry's shorts are longer - its a costuming choice thats s perfectly in keeping with their respective characters.

The final thing to talk bout is Henry’s rainbow turtle swim shorts - a cute nod to his being gay - especially as Alex is is his purple bi swim shorts. But there is also the fact that they are turtles. Turtles are a symbol of steadfastness, longevity, perseverance and transformation. they can also be seen as a symbol of everlasting love. there is also the concept of carrying the weight of the world - which is seen in its most explicit way in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels - where a giant turtle carries the world on its back. All of these metaphors and symbols perfectly fit Henry and his relationship with Alex - it is a symbol of the enduring nature of their love for each other, the perseverance we will see for them to overcome the obstacles thrown at them, the steadfastness of their love, as well the transformation we are seeing Henry go through - from closeted gay thinking he has to conform to the very rigid and dated ideals of his family - to the freer Henry we see in the US - the real Henry and the version of himself he so desperately wants to be but thinks he can’t - he has the weight of the world on his shoulders at that moment a la the disc world turtle.

Alex

Alex, obviously has the largest number of costumes, as well as the largest colour palette, but even that is pretty limited. In the same way we see Henry’s wardrobe go through a subtle transformation, we also see the same for Alex, almost in the opposite direction - while Henry’s wardrobe becomes freer, Alex’s becomes more grown up - more mature and conveys his growth as a person - becoming more certain in who he is. I’ve already written a fair amount throughs this meta about Alex’s costumes, so this section is a little shorter than Henry’s for that reason! 

We get rebellious Alex to begin with - the leather jacket easily conveys this to us, its almost a universal symbol or rebellion in costuming speak at this point and one of the reasons I like its use here is that it very quickly sets him apart from everyone else in the film - yes its early on, but he is the most casually dressed character by a long way - and this jacket it the antithesis of the buttoned up penguin suit from the wedding - it emphasises how uncomfortable Alex was in that environment and as a result gives the heavy drinking we saw before the cake went flying purpose and visually sets him up as the lead and as a rule/ convention breaker. The same is true of the greyscale with leopard print Hawaiian shirt which is meant to contrast him dramatically with Henry, who is still stuck in that stuffy double breasted suit prison of convention and expectation to behave a certain way - the costuming does a big chunk of the work in giving us rebel v prince in those opening scenes. I actually like that they brought the leather jacket back for the drive to the lake house - it sets up Alex’s falling in love arc nicely - in that it allows the idea of rebellion to continue flowing through the story - Alex wanting to be outing proud in Austin and not grasping that that isn’t an option Henry at this moment in time and is a nod to his not really understanding the different places he and Henry are in when it comes to what being out means for them respectively.

I’ve already written about the black and white colour way we see him in until his PR stint when we start see colour appearing in his wardrobe. I’ve put the pictures roughly in chronological order because it helps to show his progression, but it also shows the increasing amount of blue in his wardrobe, especially in moments connected with Henry.

To pick out some of my favourites - the Mexican pattern shirt with the red cardigan is wonderful - we have the shirt hinting at Alex’s heritage - in blue with the chunky knit red cardigan - I’ve written above about the use offered as a colour of passion and how that passion ebbs and flows - this cardigan also plays into that idea - it is the first time their texting becomes flirty - even the text message is in a red bubble on screen. This idea carries on with the orange red tee he is wearing during the turkey conversation - I made a post about that outfit being the same colour way as the turkey in question and how to talk turkey means to talk honestly and openly with someone - the very thing we see in that scene. 

I adore the subtle yellow and blue jacquard embroidered New years jacket - the moment our boys connect and we move further into the lovers part of the enemies-friends-lovers trope and it keeps the yellow/blue theming an active part of the storyline. - the contrast with Henry’s orange tie is a choice - while there is a lot of colour at the NYE party Alex blends into the background while Henry is quite literally tied into the orange theme we’ve already seen in the furniture and sets - orange stands out and now we the audience are being drawn into unconsciously making the same connection that Alex is making - Henry is lonely, but he is an enduring and attention grabbing part of Alex’s life - it only further reenforces the direction of Alex’s gaze - green wearing flirty girl who??

We have a fair amount of Alex and the bi colour ways and we subtly see it coming into play from more or less the moment they start messaging - the light purple tee and purple message boxes, flowing through to the women sufferage wall and the fact he is wearing blue and purple in that scene with Nora in pink to round out the there colours. then we have the blue and purple colour ways he wears at the lake house - bolder and brighter - contrasting with the more muted shades from before - showing that he has recognised and accepted that part of who he is - he’ now out and proud and his parent know about him. I’ve used the old subtle a lot, but this is yet another example of transformation and growth for a character done subtly through colour. We also see him bathed in bi lighting at the bar when he has his 'OH I feel forever about him' moment at the Texas bar - he is the only one in that whole scene lit in that way - Henry is blue lit, while there is a more general lighting scheme that is blue/red dominant for the bar as a whole.

On to Alex’s suits and ties - he seems to have 5 suits and a jacket (not including the formal wear - tux and tails) a black one, 2 navy blue ones (one with a woven pinstripe that he wears in Paris) a bright bluish grey one and a grey one along with the black and blue waffle jacket we see him wear both on the PR trip and at the Polo match. I am obsessed with the fact that when he is in England he wears the navy suits and jackets whereas in the US he wears the other colour s suits - in the same way we see Henry less buttoned up and wearing grey and lighter blues in the US, here we see Alex fitting into Henry’s world and the navy blue suit uniform of the Royal family - its a wonderful piece of costuming that tells so much of how each of them are fitting into the others worlds, especially wen the black and navy waffle one is only worn early on - it is the cross over garment!

The ties have  a similar story to tell - we see him wearing 4 ties - a yellow one we see in the beginning in the news reel and never see him in again and then we get the lighter blue striped one at the polo match - the one most similar to the striped ones we see Henry wear - suggesting he is trying to fit into this new world - Henry’s world - that he’s been invited into - its somewhat jarring for his character and plays on the idea of trying too hard - its therefore telling we don’t see it happen again - we only see hi in a striped tie again at he end during election night and accompanied by the black suit we saw him in a couple of times on the campaign trail in Texas. the blue tie is the only other tie we see him wear and it nicely connects all the key moments he has while in his suit - key political moments - his speech at the DNC followed by his speech to the press after the email hack and when he is at Buckingham Palace facing up to the King.

The final ting to talk about is the khaki green shirt jacket - I cannot tell you how happy I was with this costuming choice (and not because it was screaming Eddie Diaz from 911 vibes) khaki is so associated with military - with the army - anti is the most perfect choice for this scene - army are about war - they go somewhere to fight - to storm the palace etc so to have Alex - who has never worn anything remotely like this before rock up to KP to fight for his relationship - for his love - is the perfect choice, its a subtle yet clever way of emphasising the Alex has chosen to fight for what he wants - for his relationship with Henry and what makes it more telling is that we only see him change out of it once Henry has explicitly stated that he will try to be brave and that he wants history to include his love for Alex. It is why we see Alex in the yellow and blue Mexican patterned jacket - he no longer needs fight for his love because he has won - this yellow/blue jacket is a piece of costume tied into pivotal moments - we see the jacket twice - when he wins his bid to get the Claremont campaign to focus on Texas and Ellen tells him he’s going to Texas, and again when he has won the day with Henry and they are back together - in some ways that makes this his victory jacket - victory in his own personal battles - battles that are central to who he is and his development and I think that’s petty neat!

Hopefully you've enjoyed this deep dive into the sets and costumes of the film - I've loved writing it and I can only hope its coherent! Feel free to hit me up with any questions or comments and likes and reblogs are love ❤️🤍💙 thank you for reading and until next time...

[oneatlatime]

The Desert

Alternate title: Gimme Appa back.

"But I believe, Aang can save the world." no pressure kid.

I had completely forgotten about these two chuckleheads. For once the 'Previously On' segment is useful rather than spoilery.

Ok Aang is going to get the world's biggest pass this episode, because he's in the suckiest of all situations. But even so, how exactly was Toph supposed to come and get them, when she was both actually blind for once and the only reason the library hadn't drowned them yet?

Aang has something of a history of running away. Does going after Appa count as running away from his friends?

Zuko's theatre kid tendencies are genetic.

The way Iroh said "What Now?" you know he was actually saying "fuck's sake."

Zuko's hair seems to grow very quickly. I thought that I could use his hair growth to measure time passing but this is not tracking. He barely had a buzz cut in The Chase and now he's fluffy.

Two things: a) this guy has eyes greyer than Aang this episode. b) He's cocking his hands like that ridiculous Henry Cavill scene from Mission Impossible where he cocks his biceps.

This guy's spear has piercings. And is coming out of a Dragon's mouth.

I don't know that I'd call these guys legendary. They're zero for two against an Avatar in Drag and two starving refugees with three functioning arms.

Doesn't Katara ever change out her water? Or even use it up and have to refill it?

I said it last episode, and I'll say it again: why did five people, a lemur, and a ten tonne sky bison travel into a desert famous for its desertiness with only a single water pouch between them? Admittedly, if they'd brought extra water and left it on Appa, they'd be having the same problem, but still...

Is a kids' show actually going to go there?

They actually went there!

Honestly if you're dying of dehydration in the desert, eating strange plants is absolutely the way to go. I'd rather trip my way into the afterlife than just shrivel up and die.

I love the way Aang's glider shadow moves over the dunes. Another one of those tiny details that the animators could have left out, but they didn't!

Sand benders must get crazy high speeds if Aang can't spot even a trace of Appa from up high. He wasn't Appa-napped very long ago.

Everyone go watch the scene where Aang blows up the mushroom cloud. Go right now I'll wait. And pay attention to Sokka's mouth. It does the wave.

His mouth does the wave and his arms do the worm. Someone really had fun this episode.

Zuko breaking the world record for highest number of Fire Nation wanted posters. Despite being the only person on that board who's unquestionably loyal to the Fire Nation. What a nice reward he got for his loyalty.

How is that one wrestler dude's hair so shiny?

Why, other than plot convenience, would Zuko and Iroh be at the Ice Spring?

I see now that the left hand shadow is Sokka with a Momo on his head. But for just a second I thought it was Ramona from Scott Pilgrim.

There are some really beautiful colour gradients in this desert.

"We won't survive without Appa." Well yes, but you have to try.

If this is a normal desert they're going to freeze their butts off overnight.

No comment. Just vibes.

Hey this is a Katara episode! Toph is blind, Sokka's zoinked, Aang's given up, so it's Katara time baby!

This episode has no business being this pretty.

"Sokka. I was there." I'd be very surprised if Katara's voice actress doesn't have an idiot older brother. That line was delivered a little too perfectly.

I'm not going to comment on every Sokka is high joke, but rest assured I'm finding them all hilarious.

Those drinks cost a gold piece each. Where did they get five gold pieces from?

Colour me shocked. The chuckleheads actually had a good idea for once.

Colour me shocked again! I vaguely predicted this!

Zuko. Honey. How are you this dim? He's so very good at missing exactly what's in front of him.

"Gold?"

Big muscles. No brains.

Very pretty. The sand texture is good too.

Well that was mean.

Passive aggressive glider deployment. Also how low is that cloud if Aang can reach it to bend it?

Aang is not shining this episode (understandably) but Katara is going from strength to strength. I NEVER would have thought that she was someone who could keep her cool under pressure like this. Happy to be wrong!

I have no idea if Sokka is going to remember or be aware of this epic trip he's on, but this is probably the best time he's had in months. Certainly since Yue died. He deserves this. Bad timing, but he needed a break.

"You must forgive my nephew. He is not an initiate, and is dumb as shit and incapable of reading the room."

Why is there a flower shop in the middle of the desert? What clients do they have? Obviously it's a front for this pai sho secret society thing, but why did they pick such a nonsensical front?

Toph has so much personality that it's easy to forget how tiny she is. Like a little gargoyle.

Sokka talking like a Greaser was the thing I didn't know I needed.

Poor Katara. Now you know how your brother feels every time he has to save your bacon from your weekly prison break.

I am losing my mind over these colours. Especially after The Library.

"I have a natural curiosity." I'm going to start using that.

Oops they found the circle bird nest.

Hey showrunners, you're going to take Momo from me too? You sure you want to do that? After last episode? Don't give me a pretty sunset with a latte swirl. Give me back Appa, put down Momo, or I'll sic Toph on you.

I do like Toph as a piece of artillery.

Turns out a combined Appa and Momo -napping is what it takes to get Aang to break his no killing rule. I now know how to defeat the Fire Lord.

The Audacity. Going to Ba-Sing- however the hell that's spelled. The sheer audacity. But then what? What's the plan after they get there? Just live the rest of their lives?

Rejected Mortal Combat guy.

You ever have one of those days where you do only your top lip?

Whoever made that door, and that lock - good job!

Nothing to see here, just making a delivery of two giant planters in the middle of the desert. The Owl decided to spruce up his entryway.

Y'all are fucked. Y'all deserve it. Aang has completely lost control. He's spent the whole episode losing it more and more and now he's gone completely off the rails. Has he ever zipped into the Avatar state that fast before?

Never underestimate the power of a woman who's fed up with everyone's nonsense. Just so fed up.

Well that was sad.

Badass name of the day: Malachi Throne, voice of a character whose name I don't recognise.

Final Thoughts

This was Katara's episode. I'm not going to forgive not getting Appa back, but Katara actually keeping a level head for once was an unexpected delight.

This episode was pretty unrelentingly heavy in the A-plot, which is why I don't understand why Sokka and Momo tripping worked so well. It did work, and I very much enjoyed it, but it should have stuck out like a sore thumb and it didn't. The beat up Sokka quota fulfillled from within by chemicals was a nice creative touch.

I am very happy to see Iroh take the wheel, although I'm not convinced there's a long term plan here beyond get food and shelter. Which, fair enough, goals tend to be short term and immediate when you're in dire straits.

This episode really stomped all over Aang. And then stomped some more. I was surprised how negative and shouty he was at the beginning, but by the end I was surprised how long it took him to lose it. Apart from his staff and his clothes, Appa really is all he has left from before he got frozen. That sandbender punk was rotten to the core.

So I guess we're going to the earth kingdom capital regardless of the eclipse information. Is the rest of the season going to be getting there? I also can't help but notice that it's where Iroh and Zuko are headed as well. Zuko could actively run in the direction opposite to the Avatar and he'd still end up tripping over him. The earth Kingdom is ginormous. And yet, like every two episodes Zuko runs into the Avatar. Is it fate? Is it plot convenience?

I should dislike this episode. It's 24 minutes of our faves getting beat down and not finding Appa, with a b-plot of Zuko being more oblivious than usual. I should dislike it, but I don't. This is definitely going on the rewatch list. It was a very pretty episode, which helped. Beyond that I can't put into words why I liked it, but I did!

[nwjn-z]

main 4 with a scene s/o ^_^

South Park Main 4 with a scene s/o

⎯⎯⎯ ☆

Kyle ☆

-You being scene is actually what grabbed Kyle’s attention to you in the first place

-he thought you were really cool and admired you for dressing so differently from everyone else and not caring

-with that being said, because you dress differently from everyone else he down to fight anyone that tries to make fun of you

-Kyle also loves helping you touch up your hair, picking out your outfits, helping with your makeup etc.

-I hc that Kyle wanted to be scene in middle school but his parents wouldn’t let him💔

-he lives vicariously through you🫶

-will tell you to cut back on the energy drinks and candies if you’re like that tho 💀

Stan ☆

-He thinks you’re really fucking cool

-Stan has always had an interest is various different music genres, and scene music is one of them

-so when you first met, he knew he wanted you

-jamming out to scene music with Stan? Definitely.

-he absolutely adores watching you get ready, like watching you do your hair and makeup

-he would also like you to do his makeup and do it while he lays down on his back while you straddle him and do it 🤭🤭

-honestly Stan will sometimes dresses goth again just to see the contrast in your guy’s aesthetics, it makes him feel all giddy

-also seeing the look on everyone’s faces when they see Goth Stan and his Scene partner ?? comedy gold

Kenny ☆

-ok ok, Kenny has a thing for people with unique aesthetics like; Scene kids, Goths, Emos you name it

-so needless to say Kenny LOVES the fact that you’re scene

-He thinks you’re so fucking hot in anything that you wear he can’t get enough

-Always showing you off and bragging about how cool his s/o is to all his friends

-like Stan, Kenny loves scene music as well so he loves listening to music with you

-Kenny is also ready to throw hands at anyone who makes fun of you

Cartman ☆

-“Weak dude, weak.”

-he acts like he doesn’t like it at first (he’s a LIAR)

-but he secretly loves it just as much as Kenny even

-But Cartman is very unique in his admiration for your style so please just bare with him

-he’ll complain about how long you take to get ready and ends up doing you hair and makeup for you along with your outfit

-he’ll try and play it off by saying “if you’re going to dress like that then I have to make sure you look decent🙄”

-It’s cute how his face gets red when teasing and hair spraying your hair, he also insists on being the one to re-dye your hair for you (he likes picking the colours)

-also do I even need to say it?

-this man is IN LOVE with scene music (you are the only person he will ever admit it to tho)

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 20

Author's note: Sorry to everyone who got mad at Val (and me 😅) after reading the previous chapter 🫣 But you have to read this one and what is coming! This story is 35 chapters long (34+epilogue), and we still have good and cute things happening, and maybe another drama 🫣 But it will be worth it, I promise! 🤞🏻 I also struggled a lot writing this chapter and I've edited many times these past few months and even yesterday because I wasn't happy with it, so I hope it doesn't disappoint 🫣

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

He is kissing me. Ferran is kissing me again, and I'm not freaking out or stopping him. I'm letting myself go, I'm…

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" a woman says after bumping against us. "Are you ok?"

"I'm… I…" I say, looking from Ferran to her and back at him. "I need to get out of here" I blurt out.

"Val, wait" he says, trying to hold my hand.

"I… I have to go" I say, taking a step back and not letting him touch me. 

"Val…"

"Please, Ferran. Let me go."

"At least tell me where you are going."

"Outside. I feel too hot and a bit dizzy, I need some fresh air."

"If you aren't feeling well I am going with you."

"No!" I say, raising my voice and making some of the people around us look at me. "I want to be alone. I need to be alone."

"Val, I'm sorry. I just… I…"

But I don't hear anything else he says. I'm already walking away, bumping into people who are dancing, pushing them while trying to find one of the doors, the music getting louder and louder, my heart beating faster and faster. I can't believe I let Ferran kiss me again. That I… that I…

"Valeria, stop!" 

"Marc?" I say when I look up at the owner of the hand that is grabbing my arm.

"I've been calling after you. What happened?"

"I need to get out of here."

"Valeria, are you ok? You look…"

"Now!"

"Ok, ok. Come with me."

"I want to be alone, Marc. Why can't you understand it?" I cry, freeing myself from his grip and starting to walk away. Though I don't know where I am going.

"Valeria, this way."

"Don't touch me!"

"I won't touch you" Marc says, lifting his hands. "But let me walk you outside."

"And then you will leave me alone" I say, wiping away my tears.

"And then I will leave you alone" he repeats. "Now come with me."

"Finally" I whisper when we make it outside, taking deep breaths as I stand in the middle of the garden. It is a chilly night and I could definitely use a jacket, but I don't care. 

"Valeria, are you going to tell me what happened?" Marc asks me.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone."

"I saw you arguing with Ferran. Is everything ok? Did he do something?"

"Marc, I want to be alone."

"I can't do that when you are like this, Valeria."

"Yes, you can!" I say, turning around to look at him. "And stop calling me Valeria!"

"But… but that is your name" he says with a confused look.

"And I don't like people calling me like that! It's Val! Val! Only my teachers and my mum call me Valeria. Them and you for whatever the reason." 

"I… I didn't know you didn't like it."

"Of course you didn't!" I say, raising my voice. "Because you knew nothing about me and still don't!"

"Valeria… I mean, Val. Calm down, please."

"I don't want to calm down!"

"You are making a scene, Valeria. And this is my wedding."

"And this is my wedding" I say, making fun of him. "It is always you, Marc. You, you, you."

"What… what are you talking about?"

"You don't care about anyone but you! We were together for a fucking decade and you never gave a shit about me!"

"Valeria…"

"It was always let's hang out with your friends from uni, let's go on holidays to the places you like, let's watch the movies you enjoy, let's move to the flat you prefer… You never asked me what I wanted to do, what I liked, what I needed, how I felt! You probably don't know my favourite colour or my favourite food" I laugh.

"Pink and… pasta?" he says.

"Pink and pasta? Are you fucking kidding me, Marc?"

"I… I don't know."

"Exactly, you don't know! Because you only care about yourself! You are a selfish prick!"

"Valeria, there is no need to insult me."

"Don't call me Valeria!" I yell. 

"I'm sorry, I…”

"I am so glad I broke up with you, Marc. So glad! Getting rid of you has been the best decision of my life, because it finally made me free! Free to be who I really am and to meet someone who truly sees me. Someone who listens to me when I'm  rambling about something I like but also when I'm feeling vulnerable, who makes me feel like I can trust him and open up to him. Someone who makes me laugh, who comforts me when I'm feeling down and gives me the push I need to keep improving and do better, to not give up, to follow my dreams. Someone who makes me feel things I thought impossible  because he has bothered to learn how a woman's body works, who cares about me in a way no one has ever done before. Someone who actually loves me for who I am."

"Someone like Ferran" Marc says.

"Ferran? I’m not talking about Ferran" I snort.

"What? Then who are you talking about?"

"I… I…" I've fucked up. The alcohol in my system has made me talk too much. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

"She's talking about the guy she's leaving me for."

"Ferran" I gasp when I see him standing behind Marc.

"What… You… I'm lost."

"Val and I broke up this summer because she met someone else. Because she fell in love with someone else, the person she was talking about" Ferran explains.

"Then why are you here together?" Marc asks him, looking more and more confused by the second.

"Because they aren't ready to be official yet and she didn't want to come alone. Because she didn't want your wife to make fun of her and bully her like she's been doing for years."

"Isabel isn't like that."

"She is a bitch, Marc. She's always been" I say. "But you've never noticed because, again, you never gave a shit about me."

"I loved you, Valeria."

"You have no idea about how truly loving someone feels like, Marc."

"And you do?" he chuckles. "With this guy you are dating now?"

"I do."

"Then why were you kissing your ex, uh? If you love him so much, why were you kissing Ferran?"

"That’s my fault" he says. "You saw us arguing because I kissed her without her consent. Because I still have feelings for her, because I still love her, because I wish it was me the one her heart belonged to" Ferran says, his eyes fixed on me while saying all that. 

"Oh, Marc, there you are!" Isabel says, walking towards us. "What is going on? Why are you three out here? And why are you crying?"

"Oh, I'm not crying" I say, quickly wiping away a tear. "I drank more than I'm used to and… well, you know. I'm not the biggest fan of puking."

"You are disgusting, Valeria."

"Likewise" I smile.

"Marc! She just insulted me!" Isabel cries.

"And so did you, Isabel" he says.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Let's go inside."

"What? She insulted me! Aren't you going to do anything?"

"Yes, go inside. It is our wedding day, remember? Let's go" Marc says, grabbing Isabel by the arm and dragging her back into the party while she keeps protesting.

"Looks like he finally grew some balls" Ferran chuckles.

"Better late than never" I sigh. "Ferran, I…" I say after a few seconds in the most awkward silence ever. "What you said…"

"What I said is what I feel, yes. I've fallen in love with you, Val. But I didn't mean to, I promise."

"I don't think that's how falling in love works. Meaning to do it and it happening, you know?"

"Yeah, true" he says with a sad smile. "What I wanted to say is that… It just happened. When Pedri first showed me photos of you and then introduced us, I thought you were really hot, but just that. And then as I got to know you… you know" he shrugs. "But I promise you I've never wanted anything bad to happen between you and him. When I've kissed you it's been because I've lost control, because I'm weak. Not because I want to start drama and make you break up. That's never been my intention. Ever. You two love each other, and I love you both, and even if sometimes seeing you together hurts… I want you to be happy."

"We have to tell Pedri, tho. I can't lie to him, I have to tell him what happened tonight. What I.. us did."

"He… he knows."

"What?"

"Not about today's kiss, of course. But he knows about my feelings for you."

"He knows?"

"Yes."

"Since when?" I ask, raising my voice more and more with each question.

"He always suspected something was going on, and after kissing you at the school I told him everything."

"He's known since then? I can't fucking believe it!" I laugh. 

"We thought that not telling you was the best" Ferran shrugs.

"Well, you thought wrong."

"Val… Val, hey, where are you going?"

"To bed" I say as I walk away. "My head is killing me."

"Do you want me to accompany you?"

"I want to be alone."

"Val…"

"Alone, Ferran. Can't you men understand that word today or what?" 

"I'm sorry, I just… Ok. Good night" he says after I give him my most murderous look, my head literally feeling like it is about to explode. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"To your place?"

"Yes."

Those are the only words Ferran and I share during our drive back home. And before that, the few more we shared weren't the friendliest.

The moment I got back into my room after our argument I went straight to bed. I just wanted to sleep and forget about everything that had happened. About what I had done, about Pedri lying to me.  

And I managed to do it, because when I woke up, Ferran was snoring next to me and I didn't remember hearing him walk in.

After getting changed I left the room to have breakfast. Some of the other guests gave me pitiful looks, probably because they knew my footballer boyfriend and I had had an argument during my ex boyfriend's wedding. But I didn't care. I just wanted to be alone, and I managed to do it since everyone else I knew was still sleeping.

On my way back to my room I got a few more pitiful looks, but no one bothered me. 

"Val."

"Ferran" I say, closing the room's door behind me.

"I thought you had left."

"Without my things?"

"Yeah… You are right" he says, running a hand through his wet hair. He had just come out from the shower and was only wearing a towel around his hips.

"Can you please put some clothes on? I want to leave, and the sooner the better."

"Yes, of course. But I would like to eat something first if that's ok."

"Yeah, yeah. Just be quick, please. I need to get out of this place."

"I will be, I promise" he says before running into the bathroom.

Once he left to have breakfast and I was alone again, I broke down. 

I can't remember the last time I cried like that, my whole body shaking with each sob, my throat hurting that much. But I needed to let it all out. My anger, my guilt... Everything.

When Ferran came back I was a human ball laying in our bed, too tired to move or do anything else.

"Val! Val, are you ok? Val, what happened? Please talk to me! Val!" 

"I want to go home" I murmur.

"Val, you can't go anywhere like this."

"Home" I repeat.

"If they see you like this…"

"I don't give a fuck about them! I just want to go home!" I say, starting to cry again.

"Ok, fine… Let me finish packing everything and take it to the car. It will give you some time to wash your face and… you know."

"Whatever" I reply.

And now here we are. Parking in front of my place while I try not to cry again, surprised that I still have some tears left. 

"Val…" Ferran says, stopping the car. "I'm sorry."

But I ignore him. I just open the door and move to the boot to pick up my things.

"Val, are you seriously going to give me the silent treatment? Ok, fine" he chuckles when I don't reply. "I'm gonna tell Pedri about everything that has happened. So don't get mad at me if he texts you before you say something to him like the last time. And you aren't talking to me. Got it" he sighs. "Just take care, Val."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val… He's here. Again. And he says he isn't going anywhere until you talk to him."

"Then I hope he's waiting in a comfortable chair."

"Val…" Silvia sighs, closing the door of my room and sitting in the bed next to me. "Don't be like this. You need to talk about what happened and fix things." 

"What if this can't be fixed? What if talking only makes things worse? Just look at the way I snapped at you, Silvia."

"Everything can be fixed. It won't be nice, but it can. So c'mon, Val" she says, grabbing my arm and lifting me up. "Time to make up with your boyfriend."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Hello, Val" Pedri says.

"Hi."

"Don't you want to sit down?"

"No" I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Is this gonna be your attitude?" he asks after a few seconds in silence.

"I don't know what you mean" I shrug.

"It's been days since the wedding, Val. Days I've spent calling you and texting you, you always ignoring me. And now that I'm here to talk in person and fix things, this is how you behave?"

"What did you expect, that I would jump into your arms as if nothing had happened?"

"No, but…"

"Pedri, I'm angry at me and with you. This is me being angry. Because in case you've forgotten, I kissed your best friend and you've been lying to me for months! Months!"

"I know."

"Do you? Really?"

"Yes, I do, Val" he says, meeting my eyes again. "But we thought it was the right thing to do. We thought that if we didn't tell you anything, it wouldn't make things awkward between the three of us and that it would be easier for Ferran to move on. We thought that if we acted normal and as if nothing wasn't happening, it would just go away. And then I…"

“Then you what?”

“I didn’t want you to know because I was afraid you would leave me.”

“What? I laugh.

“When I first told Ferran about you, he asked me if he could hit on you if things didn’t work out between us. He was just teasing me and being annoying, but after he met you in person I saw the way he looked at you and I knew… I knew he liked you.”

“And that’s why you always were so uncomfortable when he was around.”

“Yeah…” he sighs. “And then, when the accident at the Camp Nou happened and everyone thought you were dating, I got so insecure… Because everyone was saying that you looked perfect together. Fans were supporting your relationship since the beginning, something we both know won’t happen to us the day we make it official. And your mum was desperate to meet him, already planning the wedding in her head. Then he kissed you, he told me that he had fallen in love with you and I… I feared that you would see everything that people were talking about and realize that being with me wasn't worth it, that it was too much and that with him things would be easier. I thought that after the kiss, if you found out he had feelings for you, you would realize he was better than me and break up with me to be with him.”

“So you didn’t tell me because you were insecure about my feelings for you? Really, Pedro?”

“Yes” he sighs again. “I know it is stupid, but… I don’t know. I thought it was the right thing to do.”

"Well, you thought wrong, because it only made things worse. If you had told me about how you felt since the beginning, the three of us could have talked about it and avoided going through all this mess. But you didn’t, and that only made Ferran fall harder for me, making him find the guts to kiss me. And then, when I noticed that something was different with him, it made things awkward between us because I didn't know how to behave around him, hurting our friendship. And all that led us to him kissing me again, to me letting him do it and kissing him back. I kissed him, Pedri."

"Yes, you did. But I know it meant nothing to you, that you were drunk and instantly regretted it."

"But it still happened!" I say, not being able to contain my tears anymore. "Didn't it bother you? Like, at all? You just told me you felt insecure because of him!”

“When Ferran told me I did get angry and we argued, but I'm not insecure anymore. Because I know that you love me, Val. That you want to be with me and have no feelings for him, that the kiss was just a mistake.”

“A mistake, yes. One I can't forgive myself for. One that makes me be angry at myself for doing it and at you for not telling me about Ferran's feelings. A mistake that is hurting him, and us, and everything is wrong, and a mess and…"

"Val, hey…"

"No! Don't touch me!" I say, taking a step back when he tries to hug me. 

"Val…"

"I… I need time."

"What?"

"I need time, Pedri. Time to let go of this anger and forgive myself and you too."

"Are you… Are you breaking up with me?"

"I just need time."

"You didn't answer me, Val."

"I… No, I'm not breaking up with you. I love you. And because I do, I need to fix this. But on my own."

"Ok" he whispers.

"Pedri, listen" I say, closing the space between us and cupping his face to make him look at me, his sad eyes breaking my heart. "I love you."

"I love you too. I do, Val. And I'm sorry I fucked up, I just… I didn't want to lose you. I don't want to lose you."

"And you won't" I say, wiping away a tear from his cheek. "But right now we need some time on our own to focus on ourselves. Both of us. You are about to start the new season and I the new year at the school. That's what matters now. And when we are ready, we will see each other again."

"I hope so."

"We will, Pedri. I promise you."

"I love you, Val" he whispers, resting his forehead on mine.

"I love you too" I whisper back, hoping this is the right choice and that I am not making the biggest mistake of my life.

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

phew, ok gonna just ramble for a minute! for the last couple of days i've been getting so caught up in my milex feelings and the letdown after the anticipation that i almost forgot to be properly excited for this trip 🙈 but now that i'm actually in dublin, after listening to arctic monkeys and miles tunes on the flight and getting hyped about seeing my one of my best irl friends from london again for the first time since june, it's much easier for me to put things in perspective, thank goodness!! i'd have kicked myself later if i spent my time here moping (which i've kind of been doing these past two days) instead of being excited about getting to see my all time favourite band play again (twice!!) AND with miles as well, and just have a fun trip with my friends in dublin (even though it'll be raining cats and dogs, but we'll be in the pub most of the time anyway 🍻)

after the london gig in june i really thought that was it for a couple of years, so to have been given this extra opportunity to see them again so soon is insane and an absolute blessing. i'm SO fucking excited, i can't even tell you 😭 these will be my 8th and 9th arctic monkeys gigs to date, and i'm still just as hyped as i was 10 years ago, and i think that's worth reflecting on for a minute ❤️

i'm putting some more musings about the milex situation under the cut for anyone who might be interested in a different perspective, but mostly it's just for me, to be able to untangle the mess that my mind has been in these past few days. also, please know that i'm definitely not trying to invalidate anyone's concerns or diminish anyone's feelings, because lord knows i've been feeling all the things the past few days and all those feelings are very (very) real!

i guess what i just keep coming back to is the fact that arctic monkeys (or alex, really, lbr) asked miles to be the support for these four dates when they absolutely didn't have to do that, and that if there was any bad blood between them then they totally could've asked anyone else. but they didn't, they asked miles! and miles agreed! it's much more likely that the fact that they're not playing together is due to logistics (with the orchestra and limited rehearsal time) and wanting to highlight miles's new album than any personal reasons tbh. they're professionals doing their jobs first and foremost, and while obviously we'd love a display of sentimentality, if that doesn't fit the show for whatever reason then it makes sense they don't give us that. i'm sure it's all been discussed and agreed on between them, and that they're doing perfectly fine behind the scenes. it's true that miles shows us a lot of himself, but alex and the other boys do not, so it also makes sense to me that what miles shares about them/their interactions with him is limited too, much as i'd love to see him gush about them and post bts footage. i always find that i get easily swept up in emotions and conjecture when i'm watching things unfold from a distance, through the tumblr/fandom lens, but i forget sometimes that that is a heavily coloured lens, and that real life is often very different, despite what social media etc. may seem to show. and for me personally, i've noticed that sometimes it's really good to break out of the bubble for a bit and see things from a different perspective, so i'm glad i was able to do that before my shows!

also, on a side note, i've seen some people being disappointed that alex didn't dedicate bodypaint to miles but just gave him a shoutout, but to me the distinction doesn't matter too much. he mentioned miles when he didn't have to, and miles stayed to watch the boys do their thing after his own set, and he didn't have to do that either if he wasn't feeling it. the fact is that recently there have been more and more signs that our boys are actually growing closer again than they seemingly have been for a few years, and while obviously i just want them to give us everything and announce a tlsp reunion and also profess their undying love for each other while they're at it, maybe their doing what they can right now, and they just need a bit more time to get to where they once were. we all need time to heal, or something like that, anyway. i obviously don't know anything, but this possiblity seems just as if not more likely to me than the other option (which would be that any of this is a sign they're growing further apart, instead), so i'm good with that for the moment.

anyway, this is just me talking to myself on the plane and creating some perspective for myself, but maybe someone else might find it helpful too, who knows. in any case, i'm going to do my best to enjoy it all to the fullest!! and while obviously getting to see them do something together would be brilliant, it would just be the cherry on an otherwise already really fucking delicious cake ❤️

[barbiiebrat]

"Babe, I'm home."

You look up from washing the dishes from breakfast and see me walk in the door carrying in a few groceries. I set them down on the counter behind you and walk over, slipping one arm around your waist. "I got your birth control prescription," I say, handing you a small box of pills. You don't take it, you just stare at it, confused. "That's not the right box," you say. "The colours are different."

I sigh and point out the writing. "No, try to read it properly." I enounce each syllable slowly and carefully. "No-ri-thin-drone. E-thin-yl Es-tro-di-ol." I pause to give you a moment to process. "The name brand was discontinued so I had them give you the generic. That's all."

You relax a bit and lean against me, relieved, and a little embarrassed. "Oh, that's OK then. I'm sorry I couldn't understand the words," you say.

"That's OK babydoll, you know I'm here to look out for you." I gently grab the back of your hair and turn your head to me. "But you really should trust me better. I think I need to give you 5 spanks tonight," I say with a teasing smile. You blush and try to look away. "Yes sir, I think that would be appropriate." You take the box and open it. "I'll take the first pill right now."

… …

By mid afternoon you feel like something is wrong. You're desperately wet and horny, but you've done nothing all day but clean and do chores (you'd been trying to be a better domestic partner after losing your accounting job; turns out accounting is hard when you're illiterate). You come find me in the home office.

"Sir, are you sure you gave me the right pills. Something feels… off," you say, standing in the doorway nervously. I close my laptop screen and pinch my nose in annoyance. "What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well…" you pause, too embarrassed to describe how you feel. "Tell me now," I say. "I'm busy."

"Well. It's just that I'm really turned on. Like I'm desperate. And um. I can't stop thinking about cock. And getting railed. I want it so bad."

I roll my eyes. "And that's a problem to you? You don't put out enough as it is." I wave you out dismissively. "We already dealt with this, I read you the active ingredients. And just so we're clear, attitude problems like this are why you're getting 50 spanks tonight. Now get out."

You turn to leave, embarrassed at the scene you just created, but you stop short. "Wait, sir. I think that's wrong. It was 5 spanks, not 50," you say.

I close my laptop again, visibly angry this time. "Are you doing this on purpose? We talked about this not 4 hours ago. You really think I said 5? You really think 5 is enough of a punishment for your attitude today?" I point out the office door. "Get the fuck out and stop being such a stupid, forgetful whore."

… …

Today had not been a good day. After your little fit in my office, you spent the day being the best, most obedient housewife you could be. You made a delicious dinner for us, and did all the household chores. Now it was punishment time, where you could wipe the slate clean and be forgiven for what you did. You were a little excited, not just to be punished but also for the fucking that would come after that you so desperately needed (seriously, what happened to your body? You had to give up on even wearing panties, they just got so soaked).

You were dressed up in lingerie and lying on your stomach in bed, gently swaying your ass back and forth. You hoped I approved. I walk in the bedroom carrying a long case.

"Get over here, get on your knees, and face the mirror," I say sternly. You hesitate; my instructions don't make sense. "Now!" I yell. You scramble over and do as you're told. "Good. Now hands behind your back and present your tits," I say, pulling an oak cane out of the case. "You're not good with numbers so try to stay focused. 150 is a big number."

Your eyes widen. "Wait, sir, no. It was 50 spanks. What's the cane even for?"

I clench my jaw, kneel down, and grab you by your hair. I shake your head violently. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I half yell. "Why can't you remember anything I tell you? We talked about this twice today, which is already once more than should have been necessary." I stand and place myself just behind you. "Sit up straight and present your tits. You're getting 150 strikes with the cane, plus another 50 for being such a stupid cunt and talking back."

You were crying before I even hit you, although the caning didn't help. You watched yourself in the mirror, a stupid, broken, useless whore who couldn't even remember her punishments. You were ashamed, feeling guilty that I tried so hard to guide and correct you and you just couldn't keep up.

By strike 50 you could see the welts and bruises clear as day. You had to find some way to make it up to me. Maybe you could give me your ass? Be an anal whore for me? Maybe you could dress skimpier around the home, be more pleasing to me. God your cunt is just so wet. Maybe if you just played with yourself a little…

By strike 100 you were in incredible pain. You flinched from every hit. You tried to look away; seeing the strike swing before impact, the anticipation of it, was horrible. But I grabbed your head and made you look, made you wait patiently for each strike. You just could not think of how to please me. There must be something you could do. You did always notice how I looked at your friend Hannah. Maybe if you brought her over for me, that might do it. You could just play with... rub yourself, just like you're doing now, while you watched Hannah and I…

By strike 150 you start shaking. You'd given up flinching, and openly fingered yourself. You couldn't stop thinking about Hannah. You knew she'd never go for it, but maybe you could get her drunk, roofie her, hold her down; maybe you could prove how useful you are, maybe I'd compliment you, give you a reward for being such a good girl. God, the pain and pleasure mixed was just too much, you feel like you're about to dissociate…

I wack your hand as your finger yourself. You yelp and pull your hand back, and I take the moment to wack your newly exposed clit, hard. You're brought out of your reverie screaming in pain, collapsing on the floor and sobbing. "What number were we at?" I demand

"I-uh-I-um-I-I-I don't know," you stammer between sobs. "No, no it was 195, please I'm sure, please don't hit my clit again." More sobs heave out of you. "Please sir I just want to cum, let me call Hannah, I'm sure she'll come over just please please I need to cum I can't take anymore please"

"Why the fuck are you talking about Hannah? Get back up and get on your knees, we need to restart." I grab your hair and pull you back into position, shaking and terrified. You can't make it, you're sure you can't make it, you know you deserve it but it's too much. "I swear to god if you fuck this up again I'm grabbing a steel dowel instead."

Your heart falls. You're going to mess it up. You know you're a stupid whore. How could you do anything else?

mmm godddd this was so hot i got naked and got my vibrator out in the middle of the day

[universe-friday]

EXCERPT #16:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening…

Ok, no, I know what you’re thinking.

You think I sound weird.

Well, not weird, I hope but… New! A little different…?

I’m trying something out here, and it feels pretty right. It still feels like me, it still sounds like me.

Thalia has been trying to teach me to step a little more out of my comfort zone… And, she already got me to do that when I searched the clubs for her, so why not listen?

We have been hanging out a lot recently, not much else to do in the City, especially being alone.

I’ve just been inspired by her, old sport.

Her voice just sounds like falling asleep on fresh, new bed sheets for the first time… Sinking more and more into the mattress with every word…

I wanted to sound like that. So, I hope you’re feeling comfortable, old sport…!

It can be harder sometimes though, days where I sink into that mattress… But I start to dream about you again, February, as her voice fades into yours.

Your voice is the one I ultimately fall asleep to February, but I can’t stand to only hear you in my dreams anymore. I just want to truly hear your voice again, with your comfort and touch as a package deal… It’s been so, so long.

[…]

You would really like Thalia, February.

You’d just love her. She’s really helping me open up, something you always wanted me to do. But, I suppose, the City is a better place to do so. We would never want me to burn as bright as you ever did; to steal your spotlight. Thank you for hiding me in your shadow… if only you would turn around now, February.

While I got to explore the City day by day, discovering its secrets so few people know of… I never seemed to do the one thing I could do in the City… explore who I am. So many people don’t know me… But do I even know me?

I have a funny little anecdote for you, February.

Thalia has so many variations of this dress - a floral dress, of different colours, lengths and styles.

[Chuckles softly] Perhaps I should be taking notes with my suits…

She showed me so many different ones, yet I had my eyes fixed on this beautiful white dress with blue flowers… it had these frilly, long sleeves and the skirt would flow all the way down to your ankles.

She insisted I try it on.

I won’t lie, I felt a little silly. Not because I’m used to my suit, no… but I did have my gloves on still, of course. They did not match the dress.

You would've been proud of me though, February. Right? I don’t know why I did it though… I swore to myself no one would’ve ever been able to get me out of my usual style. I like my style! But there’s something so liberating about twirling around in a dress, a sense of freedom. Just how a suit gives me that boost of confidence.

You always did care about your clothes, February. You were right, I get it now. You’re always right.

Do you feel free, February? Up there, in the sky, with all of those other shining stars. They do say the sky is the limit… But when you’re there, what else is there to stop you?

You know what’s funny? People say the sky is full of freedom, and they say the same about the City… yet, have you ever noticed that the places said to be full of freedom seem to feel the least free? Perhaps the idea of ‘being free’ is just having too many options. And no one is ever going to agree with every single one.

While no one in the City would ever care enough to judge, the freedom almost feels too free… do you understand me, February? You have the opportunity to do anything you ever wanted to do, but no one to praise you. No one to care. Is it worth it…?

If only you could see me too, February. Would you think of me as pretty? Handsome?

Or am I just me?

[...]

NOTE: as inspired by the week #1 prompts of february friday events as organised by @februaryfridayevents! this week's themes were voice / freedom / expression ... these were super fun to explore!

if you are curious as to how i interpreted these into this week's excerpt, i have posted a behind the scenes here on @friday-answers! go check it out!

as always, see you next week!

[v3nusxsky]

Tysm!!

I thought about a slightly AU, modern world but with magic. Domme Lady Lesso bored in a BDSM club (maybe sitting in the bar having a drink) and sub f!reader trying to gain her attention to serve her!

Mistress kink, Sadistic Lady Lesso, humiliation/degradation kink, impact play (maybe caning?), consensual slut shaming, orgasm denial, overstimulation ❤️

Bar Beauty|NSFW

*Authors note~ BDSM is like one of my favourite things to write about I'm ngl so I was super excited for this slightly au*

Trigger warnings~ mistress kink, sadistic lesso sub r humiliation/degradation kink impact play slut shaming orgasm denial overstimulation spit kink, public sex restraints r suspended slight in air toys

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Leonora definitely had a stressful job, that much was evident, it was hard to keep a bunch of unruly boarding students in check and her methods were certainly not favourable but they worked. A lot of the time her job left her pent up and craving a way to relieve some of the frustration. Which is exactly how she found herself stumbling into this bar called Happy Hours -teasing y'all with this- watching someone do their scene and nursing her whiskey. She was purely just watching the scene with a keen eye, the poor submissive wasn't really seeming to enjoy the dominants actions, either to rough or not enough which caused a smirk to settle on the red heads lips as she made mental notes of all the things she could do to make the woman scream.

You however were hoping to find a dominant with the ability to put you in your place, scanning the club you noticed her unruly red hair and the sadistic smirk she wore as she watched the submissive on stage be punished. Everything about her, from the way she held herself to the way she looked you knew you just have to have her, or rather her to have you. It became more of a need than a want as the night trickled on. Desperately hoping she'd notice your attempts at gaining her attention.

Luckily for you, Leonora had caught a glance of you sucking on the lime of your drink. Your eyes glazed over with alcohol buzzing around in your system swirling with a beautiful emerald colour. A clear witch is what you were and that only drew Leonora to you more. So naturally she stalked towards you, purred some seductive words in your ear that had you begging the woman to let you serve here, to take her frustration of her day out on you. Of course Lesso wasn't going to accept that proposal until you god to know one another and limits that you both had. Only then if both of you were agreeable would she take you up on the stage and fuck you like the slut she can tell you are.

After a few drinks and some pleasant conversation between you both you soon found yourself begging again for her to use you. So you found yourself up ok the stage, slipping into your sub headspace, kneeling at her feet. A pleased smirk adorned her lips at the act but she wasn't about to be lenient on you tonight.  She stalked around you like you were prey, completely ignoring you and addressing the crowd forming bellow the stage, "this little slut has been desperately trying to get my attention all night. So why don't you watch her get her punishment for being nothing but a desperate whore."

"Strip slut" she demanded not even sparing you a glance as you whimpered a simple, "yes mistress." A pleased hum escaped the red head as she thought of all the things she could do with her precious little slutty toy. With a hand in your hair she tugged you to your feet and shoved you on the fuchsia sofa. "You're gonna lay here and take your punishment, move or stop counting you'll get five more", her eyes raking over your bare back.

When the first wack hit the curve of your ass you let out a strangled cry of shock, "one mistress!" The next came in a quick succession causing you to sob. Her pattern was changing all the time being spurred on by the dominants watching the show. Only when Leonora deemed you had enough hits to constitute for being a slut did she drop the cane and flip you over immediately. She ignored your cry of pain as your ass and back hit the material. You deserved your canning and she knew you knew that your pain was getting her off. A vibe was securely attached to your aching clit, "look at how wet you've gotten by a simple canning you slutty pet."

The vibrator was set to a preset edging pattern before she stripped her bottom half of her clothing to straddle your face. "Put that slutty mouth to some good use darling, spread your legs, let them see how wet you are for your mistress" which you did happily as you liked to be humiliated. You happily began to lick at her sopping cunt causing the woman to moan happily. You flickered between tongue fucking her hole as your nose bumped against her swollen clit and flicking your tongue over her throbbing bud. If didn't take long for you to be reward with a gush of wetness. You had your orgasm ripped away from you four times before she came so to say you weren't bellow begging at this point is an understatement.

You were laid on the sofa as she told you to open your mouth which you did so allowing the red head to spit in your mouth. "Take it and swallow it all pet." While you were busy whimpering in need to notice that she had taken the toy from your clit and managed to secure some restraints to your limbs and suspend you a little from the sofa. "Now anyone who wants to challenge me and think they can come and dumb down my slut is more than welcome to look at her like this, exposed and taken as I fuck her with my fingers" Leonora stated before she shoved three fingers into your fluttering hole. You howled in need begging her for mercy to please let you cum buy of course that feel on deaf ears. You were edged on her finger before Leonora donned her strap on.

"No mistress, no more. To sensitive please" you whined only to be ignored. The slight suspension providing a new angle as she rutted into you with her faux dick. Tears streaming down your face at your ruined orgasms and her brutal pace. There wasn't much you could do but take her like a slut you are. "Please please I'm sorry please Leo mistress please" you babbled as her strong thrust triggered your orgasm to crash into you. The audience got to see her pass out from the strength of pleasure and pain Leonora caused.

You were left to rock slightly until you naturally stopped. Then she lowered you to the sofa before scooping up your body and taking you into a private room. There she cleaned you up and got you food and water before sitting down to give you whatever physical attention you needed. The start of a beautiful relationship, bloomed from that one night at Happy Hours.

Word count~ 1246