#ok so I was reading the bear fanfiction right

[sad-gay-cowboy]

"Dear listeners,

I went on the wonderful and sometimes awful inter-net today. I was bored and wanted to see which one it was and Carlos was *not* there to stop me. Well, listeners, I'll save you the pain and trouble of finding out. It, is, *terrible* on the inter-net today.

Let me tell you all my tale of horrendous woe. I'd decided to go on AO3 where I'd heard from a very reliable source there was some well written documentation of fictional events. And didn't that sound a treat!

And there was, oh listeners there Was amazing works of fiction! There were even stories of little ol me. More importantly, there were stories of me and Carlos. Now another might be weirded out by complete strangers writing *fiction* about your real flesh and blood life that you had to live through yourself without someone writing it for you, but I was just tickled pink about it. You know what they say, any publicity is good publicity!

But as I was scrolling through, I happened upon one of those "self inserts" and the subject was carlos! Now despite my own real non fictional life *being* a genuine self insert with Carlos, I must admit I was curious. So I clicked and began to read.

And listeners, this author made me do the *most heinous act imaginable*. They made me [chokes up a little bit] cut my beloveds hair!

Why would they make me do that! I would never do that in a million years or if a million suns exploded or if I was any number of different people this part of me would always remain unchanged. Carlos, if you're listening, one I'm sorry for being on the internet without supervision you were right it lead to grief, but two I promise you I'd never do such a harm to you, never my love.

I have no idea what could have possessed this author to write such unadulterated malicious piece of writing but I don't even want to entertain trying to think up what could possibly be in such a dark and twisted mind.

I'm getting so worked up about it and it's been hours later! I-I can't even do the rest of the show, just take us to, the Weather.

[myspaceisra]

𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐒

— 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

hey everyone ! by reading call of duty fanfictions, I was inspired and I would like to help writers who are struggling to find code names for their character (whether for y/n [the reader] or for original characters) !

here then is a list of codenames (with their definition, their meaning and what they reflect of the person who has it, arranged in alphabetical order) :

* there are feminine, masculine and neutral names ! mostly neutral.

« 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐑 » !

collar [noun.] : an ornamental chain or string of

beads, jewels, or links worn round

the neck.

[verb.] : to kill someone by putting a

burning rubber tyre around their

neck.

– the person who bears this name (here a woman, because of the funfact of this code name below), could have a soft and welcoming apparence (according to others). She is literally sweet, very calm, rather unsociable and a little shy, but who nevertheless knows how to get out of her comfort zone and be an excellent ally: faithful, efficient and always there for the good moment. We consider ourselves lucky to have her and we do not want to lose her (in anyway, no matter what relationship we have with her).

– Fun fact! : This code name is taken from « She’s my collar », the name of one of Gorillaz and Kali Uchis' songs (two artists I love. This song is a featuring they made together.). In the song, the "collar" was very important and necessary, we can’t hate her. We always end up coming back to her, no matter how ok you try to get away from her. She's literally the collar.

« 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 » !

crown [noun.] : a circular ornamental headdress

worn by a monarch as a symbol

of authority, usually made of or

decorated with precious metals

and jewels.

[noun.] : the top or highest part of

something.

– i don’t really have a personality ideas of the person who would bear this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion). However, I think the code name itself says a lot about the role of the person wearing it: they would probably be someone in charge, leading a group.

– Fun fact! : ‘Crown’ is the name of one of Freddie Dredd's songs (an artist I appreciate very much. my favorite song from him is Witness.)

« 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇 » !

faith [noun.] : strong belief in the doctrines of a

religion, based on spiritual

conviction rather than proof.

[noun.] : complete trust or confidence in

someone or something.

• synonym: trust.

– i think the person who bears this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion), is a person you can trust, who covers everyone's backs. They’re a good right arm, and very chill person.

« 𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐄 » !

kerosene [noun.] : a clear liquid with a strong

smell made from coal or

petroleum and used as a fuel

in jet engines or heaters and

lights.

– the person who bears this name (regardless of gender, this one is neutral in my opinion), as its definition implies, is important is useful, being the engine, the energy of something. so I would imagine a leader (of squad or whatever) having it.

– Fun fact! : Kerosene is the name of one of Crystal Castles' songs (one of my favorite musical band. my favorite song from them is Untrust us.)

– For people who would find this name long, Keros (which would come from « kerosene ») or Kero (which sounds like the word « hero ») simply are also very good !

« 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 » !

leather [noun.] : a material made from the skin

of an animal by tanning or a

similar process.

– i don’t really have a personality ideas of the person who would bear this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion, but I would see more of a woman with it!), to be honest.. I am sorry. This code name just reminded of the names « Lea » and « Luther ».

Do not hesitate to explain your ideas about it in the comment section.

« 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍 » !

rain [noun.] : the condensed moisture of the

atmosphere falling visibly in

separate drops.

– the person who bears this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion), is a very stoic person, but not necessarily unsociable. We don’t really know what we think of them : they’re like something that falls suddenly without warning and which makes you sick if you do nothing, which can do good or harm (they reflect what rain is, so).

– Fun fact! : Rain (in the pronunciation) looks like the word « Reine » in French which means queen.

« 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐌 » !

realm [noun.] : a kingdom.

[noun.] : a field or domain of activity or

interest.

– i don’t really have a personality ideas of the person who would bear this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion, but I would see more of a woman with it!), to be honest.. I am sorry.

Do not hesitate to explain your ideas about it in the comment section.

« 𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐍 » !

siren [noun.] : in greek mythology, a woman

whose song lured unwary sailors

to the rocks.

[noun.] : a device that makes a loud

prolonged signal or warning sound.

– the person who bears this name (rather a woman because of the first definition) is not referred to her charm, her physical appearance, but to her ability to deceive the enemy and to mope in the decor, in the role she plays. this name would therefore go well with a spy (or a traitor, it depends on the point of view of the relations that this woman has with others).

« 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍 » !

thorn [noun.] : a stiff, sharp-pointed woody

projection on the stem or other

part of a plant.

– the person who bears this name (this one is neutral in my opinion, but I would see more of a men with it!), is a dangerous person. this name is given to him by his bloody parlmaress and his modus operandi that sends shivers down your spine. this name is therefore given to him more for their activities than his person itself.

« 𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏 » !

vamp [noun.] : a woman who is confident that

she is attractive to men makes

use of it in order to get what she

wants, who uses her charm or

wiles to seduce and exploit men.

– the person who bears this name (here a woman because of the definition) is not referred to her charm, her physical appearance, but to her ability to deceive the enemy and to mope in the decor, in the role she plays. this name would therefore go well with a spy (or a traitor, it depends on the point of view of the relations that this woman has with others).

« 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 » !

weather [noun.] : the state of the atmosphere at

a particular place and time as

regards heat, cloudiness,

dryness, sunshine, wind, rain,

etc.

[verb.] : wear away or change the

appearance or texture of

(something) by long exposure to

the atmosphere.

– the person who bears this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion), could be someone who is lunatic, does things well (although sometimes acts on a whim), and who adapts to any situation. They are easy-going and stubborn at the same time and likes to be in control of anything ! So I see this person being a leader, an example, someone we like to follow, ect, despite their flaws.

– Fun fact! : Weather is the name of one of Freddie Dredd's songs (an artist I appreciate very much. my favorite song from him is Witness.)

« 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 » !

worth [noun.] : the level at which someone or

something deserves to be valued

or rated.

[adj.] : sufficiently good, important, or

interesting to be treated or

regarded in the way specified.

– the person who bears this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion), is someone you trust. they’re a moralizer, someone who puts people in their place when necessary, who always has the right words.

« 𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇 » !

wraith [noun.] : a ghost or ghostlike image of

someone, especially one seen

shortly before or after their

death.

• synonym: spectre, ghost.

[noun.] : a wisp or faint trace of

something.

– the person who bears this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion), is someone you trust. they’re a moralizer, someone who puts people in their place when necessary, who always has the right words.

« 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇 » !

youth [noun.] : the period between childhood

and adult age.

– the person who bears this name (gender doesn't matter, this one is neutral in my opinion), as its definition implies, is just young (but not a minor). I would imagine the person who has this code name to be the youngest person in the group they are in.

𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙸𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙿𝙾𝚂𝚃 !

𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝

𝚒'𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝.

𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚍

𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚢.

( 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚎 ‘𝚟𝚊𝚖𝚙’ 💋 )

© 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐑𝐀 ! 2022

[rednite-dork]

write to me

Sebastian Sallow & f!MC

ok, here goes; a short fic after the events of Hogwarts Legacy. It's my first time writing a fic and it's a bit angsty but I hope you still enjoy it! Thank you @just-another-fanfiction-writer for proof-reading this ❤

• ───────────────────────── •

“MC! Wait!” 

MC stopped in her tracks right before she jumped on the train. She turned her head toward the voice who called her and saw the familiar brunet boy running towards her. She sighed and stepped back from the train. 

“Yes, Sebastian?” she said with no emotion to the boy when he came to her. He caught his breath for a moment before breathing out. “I wanted to say goodbye.” MC looked away, fiddling with her robe’s sleeve. “Well. Goodbye then,” She said coldly. Sebastian only stared at her.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to say, his voice filled with remorse. “I know I messed up… But I still want to be your friend. If you let me.” MC could feel a lump forming in her throat as she listened to his words, trying to hold back her emotions. 

After the death of Solomon, things changed between them. MC couldn’t bear to look at Sebastian afterwards, the disappointment of his actions and her own shame of enabling him to get this far haunting her. After a long talk, she and Ominis came to the conclusion that Azkaban wasn’t the right choice for Sebastian, though. While it was a horrible act, it was an accident. At least, that’s what she wanted to believe.

“Sebastian…” She whispered, “I… I can’t promise that. After Feldcroft…” her voice started to tremble, unable to finish her sentence.

The words pierced Sebastian. He was kind of expecting an answer like that, yet hearing the words out loud still hurt. The boy looked at her in sadness, shoulders slumped. "I understand," he said quietly and continued. "Will you at least write to me? Please. Ominis won't talk to me and Anne…" he trailed off. Anne left Feldcroft right after she buried their uncle, and Sebastian didn’t know where she went or for how long. He wasn’t even sure if his twin would ever return. He never felt so alone, and he could only blame himself for it. He tried to hold his composure but his voice revealed the overwhelming hurt, sadness and regret he held in his heart. "I have no one left." 

MC lifted her gaze from the pavement to look at Sebastian, who was trying to hold back tears from falling. It hurt her to look at her friend in such a state. 

They both stood there silently, until the conductor’s whistle rang up in the air, signaling the train about to depart. “I have to go,” the girl quickly turned away, hurrying to the train before Sebastian could say anything else. He watched the person whom he considered his only friend after the death of his uncle, now also leaving him. Alone. 

MC broke down in tears as soon as she was out of Sebastian’s field of view, leaning against the train’s wall while everything that happened during her first year of Hogwarts started to build up inside her and spill out. She kept thinking of everything she wanted to say to him, everything that was left unsaid. Her eyes stung from the new tears that were threatening to fall and she took a shaky breath, trying to calm down before walking past the packed up compartments to look for her own to be alone with her thoughts. 

Back at the station, he didn’t move from where he stood, instead he watched the train move further away until it disappeared behind the trees. He let himself fall apart on the empty station, his shoulders shaking from silent sobs. The boy stood there for quite some time, not even knowing himself for how long until he turned around slowly to walk back to the empty house in the village with haunting memories. He held on tightly to the hope that she’d write to him during the summer. Otherwise, he didn’t know how he’d be able to survive the loneliness.

[blackcat2907]

FOR THE BIRD AU. I love building and your ideas mmmmm delish.

Thoughts on celestial dragon not having wings? Or cutting them off at birth? Maybe there wings are useless seeing as they never use them and always keep them covered no one really knows. But there are theory’s. (Could be why Dolfamingo and Corason ware those fluffy feathered coats to cover up the fact they don’t have wings.)

Ok devil fruit user who I think don’t have wings. Crocodile. Wether threw injury or choice. I feel like Sir crocodile doesn’t have wings anymore. New People constantly expect signals from a whole form of communication that simply doesn’t exist anymore, he of course uses this to its full possibilities-He is impossible to read at first and alot of people underestimate him because of his disability and by being ableist dicks, he can go and take everything they love right from under there nose and they never even suspected him.

Kuma though not by choice. He’s back stories already so god damned sad why don’t we add even more tears it huh. (Every time I learn more about this man I want to strangle Oda, how dare this sweet teddy bear of a man be subjected to such horror.)

And surprise Marco. I feel like it would interesting a lot of people would probably dicks about it at first or just avoid him or be very delicate and over correcting themselves around him. Marco and crew will quickly dissuade new comers of this stupidity.

A few of big moms kids might not have wings? Seeing as she’s seems to be part gaint maybe gaints don’t have wings or at least different type? Maybe Kaido got rid of his wings? Or again was born without seeing as he’s another species called Oni? Maybe he has Dragon wings?

Either way I love this au and will be writing and drawing alot more for it in the future.

OKAY BUT I HAVE THOUGHTS!

Celestial Dragons see themselves as gods, right? Different from everyone else. Higher than everyone else. They don't eat devil fruits because to them, they don't need that extra power. Plus, why would gods ruin their relationship with Mother Sea?

So yeah, they cut their wings off at birth as a sign of being better than everyone else. Doflamingo and Corazon definitely have their feathered jackets as a memory of the wings they lost.

Crocodile did get his wings cut off when he got his devil fruit. He didn't see the point in them anymore. And if he was going to take over Alabasta, it would be better to get rid of wings that could give away his emotions.

WHY WOULD YOU MENTION KUMA!? (Sobs into blankets) But you are so right. Anyway.

Marco lost his wings because they burned up when he ate his devil fruit because I want the angst. JUST IMAGINE! His devil allows him to become a Phoenix, but at the painful cost of his original wings.

Kaido isn't changed much because of what species he is. He stays a dragon, but in human form he still has the dragon wings.

I am 100% going to write more for this au, and honestly, I will probably cry if you make more fanart/fanfiction for this au. I love it.

[kittyhawkbombardier-bitch]

OK Pookie bear so I have been doing a lot of outsiders requests for everyone else and going extremely deep into the personality analysis. And you apparently said that I should do one for myself, but I know that I would be biased towards Johnny Kade because he’s my Pookie bear and even if you say that I belong with someone else Johnny, I will continue to believe that I belong with Johnny Cade here’s my description, even though you know me in real life and know me well enough to know who I am. I’ll still give you one because it makes my life easier.



Appearance: I have short red undercut hair that goes about to my chin. Think a very short bob. I have eyes that changed between blue to green to gray depending on the lighting my environment what I’m wearing, etc. you already know what typical outfits I would wear, but I’ll link some images at the bottom just as a reminder.

Personality: i’m pretty loud and obnoxious most of the time and you know that I am the friend group scary dog privilege, I can be serious at times if needed. But I’m usually cracking jokes and being very opinionated. I’m pretty tall and I wear boots that make me even taller to about 6 feet ish  I deeply believe in fighting for what’s right and I will. I’m a pretty confident person not much can get to me and if someone does insult me, I will be sad for a while, but then I’ll be over it within like an hour at the most. I believe that everyone should be themselves no matter what and life is too short to conform to meet other people standards.

Hobbies: I like reading and writing. I really love English class and I like writing poetry a lot but I can also write short stories fanfiction head cannons for various fandoms im in. I enjoy doing martial arts. I’m also a major theater kid and usually an actor. I also enjoy doing drag and I love an absolutely love make up art and fashion. I like wearing crazy things very casually.

I think you would be best with Steve, hear me out. He likes that you are so creative with your makeup and clothes. He would also adore your headstrong personality and determination and grit, and willing to stand up for what’s right. And you both would share a confidence and that’s what you’d really like about each other. Also both of y’all share hands on hobbies and creative hobbies. He would probably be jelly when you wear your boots/heels because you’d be taller than him. I feel like you’d get along get with soda, pony, darry, two-bit, Johnny would be to scared of you to talk to you, and you’d have an instant rivalry with dally.

@urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites

[jmflowers]

Ok I got a little carried away so you can choose all of these or just like one or two. For the Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🍓 🔪 🏜️ 🦴

Thank you!!

You absolutely did not get carried away! Thank you, this was fun. I don’t usually do this on my phone, but I’m too tired to get up so please bear with me. (Is it bear or bare? I argued with my grade 11 English teacher about this and I still don’t actually know the right answer…)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I started writing fan fiction when I was probably about 12 or 13? I literally did not have any reference point to the concept - I just loved TV and creating things and writing was an important hobby. I think I was frustrated with a topic not being given the attention I wanted in the show Ghost Whisperer (I was obsessed) so I just wrote it myself. The only way I knew to connect with fandom was through YouTube, as I’d been making fan montages for a while. I edited my story, chapter by chapter, into videos and posted it there. I didn’t end up finding fandom spaces for writing and community until I was about 18, when I joined tumblr and started reading on livejournal and fanfiction.net. I discovered screenwriting around that time, too, and fell in love with the idea of combining these things to make a career. (Only took me another decade to finally bite the bullet and dive in.) I’ve been writing and telling stories literally my entire life, and have studied the art form profusely throughout my education, but I definitely think I’ve seen the most growth in my work through the act of writing fan fiction - it fuels so much discipline while still giving you the space to experiment.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I looooove to research. I spend a lot of my time looking up words in other languages and reading articles about child development. For Vofreude I read a lot about the history surrounding the clitoris and its accurate portrayal in diagrams. I think the weirdest thing I dove deep into was how to hotwire a car, for Epithet.

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Anything. I get really overwhelmed by long comments and freak out on how to respond, even though they mean so much. (I worry that people think that means I don’t care about those ones.) I love when people make jokes or compliment in a way that’s silly. Also a huge fan of bookmark notes - I go and read those a lot. I die when someone mentions that they loved something else I wrote for a different fandom and that they’re happy to find me again in a new fandom - that feels pretty life changing. In real life, anytime I can create something that makes my mom cry is an absolute win in my books - she doesn’t cry often, but I’ve gotten her with a few specific things through the years.

I will say, I find it easier to respond to comments in the first few days after a piece is posted. I adore getting comments later - that email notification is one hell of a dopamine boost - but I get anxious about answering. And then I get anxious about there being a comment I haven’t responded to. And then I get anxious about how much time has passed since the comment was posted and I’m not sure if it’s too late to answer. Vicious game.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

Music. Everything I create always leads back to music. It’s how I yank myself out of blocks, usually. When I listen to music, I start to visualize how things might look or feel and then I try to emulate that in whatever I’m working on. It’s easiest for editing videos, as I picture the scenes that will match up to things. For writing, I just go with the vibes. Most of my stories have an accompanying playlist that I listen to when I’m writing in that universe.

[ratcandy]

[in regards to the dialogue immersion post or whatever] ok but i'd love to listen to you ramble actually. i love when people pay attention to characterization in dialogue. like its the number one thing i pay attention to when im reading stuff. i wish people would take that in consideration more when writing fanfics especially because when its ignored it throws everything off. ye

Incredibly dangerous ask because honest to god when it comes to writing/reading this is the one thing I'm stupidly obnoxious about!!

Massive ramble below where I am being a little hater. No effort made to put this in any semblance of order I just starting going Off

Character voice is so so so important when making a believable character and yes especially in fanfic I feel this is largely ignored. I mean, I get it, people's interpretations on characters will vary, and in the cases of alternate universes you can make up whatever you want in how a character would or wouldn't act. BUT if you're trying to emulate canon in any way, getting a character's voice/mannerisms right is SO. SO crucial to that process.

What words do they use? How do they move when they talk? How does their tone shift? How do they react to certain situations? How would they react to other characters in those situations? Would they be the type to stammer or freeze up under stress? How do they insult others? DO they insult others? Is this guy gonna say "fuck" or is he gonna say "how unfortunate"?? Literally So SO SOOO Much that can be taken into consideration here and I don't know why more people DON'T. Like that's the FUN part!!! You're putting that beast into a situation, don't you want to know how that beast would act??

And in both fanfic and in original works keeping that characterization consistent is a whole other debacle. And beyond THAT, figuring out the right time to break that consistency for the purposes of showing character emotion or urgency.

Because yes, a character might speak eloquently and keep their cool 90% of the time, but in a high-pressure situation or when very vulnerable, that eloquence could totally falter. Or it might not! Maybe that character deals well under pressure or doesn't let their emotions get the better of them! But that's all stuff that needs to be understood before writing a character!!!!

Otherwise you can take a poised, calm character and suddenly have them explode with no rhyme or reason to that explosion and have it feel totally out of place. Especially if that change is never hinted at prior, brought back up, or happens again.

but back to fanfic Honestly this is a huge reason why I can be so picky with fanfiction that I read. I don't need it to adhere strictly to canon - if I want a word-by-word retelling of the plot I can just go back to the source material - but if the dialogue feels off I will get turned off so fast and back out in an Instant

Like if it's blatant character breaking (he would NOT fucking say that), that's one thing. But where I get obnoxious is in the case of. Well. He would say that, but not phrased that way. Not in that vocab

Ok bear with me here, but where I've been the worst about this has been Zote characterization. YES, SORRY, THE GUY, WHATEVER. But that may very well be because I spent 1 straight year studying his dialogue and trying my damnedest to replicate it to the point where now I can just Talk Like That when he chooses to repossess me. But my point is this asshole talks in such a particular, specific-ass way, and no one seems to understand that bUT ME!!!!!

For an example of my obnoxiousness I once saw a thing where they had Zote say something like "I'll kill you" and out loud I launched into an entire rant about how he would NOT say it like that. He just wouldn't. This Man Doesn't Say Kill. He is bombastic and dramatic and would never simplify a threat down to a measly 3 words and it would most CERTAINLY NOT. BE THE WORD KILL!!!! This man will CUT YOU DOWN. This man will HAVE YOU SLAIN. You will FALL TO LIFE-ENDER'S MIGHTY BLADE, and you will be GRATEFUL in the event he CHOOSES TO DEEM YOU WORTHY OF MERCY.

He would Not say I'll Kill You. No. Never. That is not his dialogue. That is not how he speaks. I, however, Will kill you/j

anyway what was I saying. Yes. Character voice is so important. Setting also matters of course, like that post was getting at (whenever I see modern slang inserted into a world that most certainly would not have it I crumple up into a little ball and die) but it's like. A setting's influence on a character's voice and mannerisms are inherently linked. Like. Obviously one of these will have to do with the other, that is inescapable

With my Zote example it would be very silly of me to have him in a modern setting talking the way he does unless he was doing it ironically. His manner of speaking is just a more dramatic, dialed-up version of the way bugs of Hallownest already speak. And that's just the Setting. If I were to transfer him to any form of modern au where characters talk like people talk now, I. Simply wouldn't actually because this is a big reason why I don't have fun with modern AUs SHDGKLJHSG, those kinda need you to alter how characters talk to make it believable and then I will just already be taken out of it from the get-go

Just like it'd feel really jarring to have Hallownest bugs talk in modern slang . it goes Both Ways

as for curse words which were touched on in that other post, I think that boils down to personal preference. In games like CoTL or even HK, obviously there's not a bunch of Fucks and Shits and Bitches because then the rating would need to be upped. And also it just really clashes with the world (personally) But in fanfic (or in original works of historical fiction), I feel like there's more fair leniency on that, because curse words such as Fuck have been around for a Very, Very Long Time. An argument could be made for the validity of using those words in that setting, if u want to.

But Me Personally. I do not like making characters from pre-established media where there is no fuck-word suddenly use the fuck-word. Or shit or bitch or anything like that. As a person who swears like a sailor every day. Like the extent you'll get out of me is Damn or Bastard. Because otherwise it Clashes. In Mine Brain.

Also like I said in the tags of my rb it is way more fun to come up with unique insults and expletives than to just fall back on Character A calling Character B a motherfucker . Personally. In My opinion. Though a well-placed and tonally appropriate Fuck You is very very awesome in some instances. Yea.

Ok that's it. I'm done. I wrote too much. I think I got out the majority of my thoughts. Though I am not going back over this and I wrote it all in one passionate sitting so if I worded anything poorly. Well. Kill me for it

[nikkeisimmer]

Periodically, I have to rebuild my #Sims3 game...due to computer crashes and inevitably...end up losing my JAG Sims. That is MY way of continuing JAG as far as the fact that I didn't like the way that NCIS continued the JAG storyline

So hence the reason why I create Harm, Mac, Meg, A.J. and my OCs in the Sims 3.

It is partly frustrating because of the limitations of the game and Create-A-Sim to try to make the characters entirely true-to-RL proportions. The fact that the game renders ALL sims at same height means that Animal is 6'4" the same as Harm. They're all frickin' tall.

Looks like I gotta lot of work cut out for me. There are some characters missing from this picture. Namely the characters in the first season.

Namely Meg.

I'll probably be doing this for quite some time since I want to get the facial features of each sim absolutely correct to the TV show's actors. Secondly to start off, I'm not going to dive right into the JAG show's characters, I'm going to delve into my OCs from my JAG fanfiction. The first being Commander Kimber "Jugs" Benton, the XO of VF-41 Black Aces, then I'll work slowly into my OC Commander Toshio "Animal" Nakamura. Those will be the first two sims I create from MY JAG fanfiction. Then I'll get into the other characters like Lieutenant Commander Meg Austin, Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. and Major Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie.

I've created Captain Kimber "Jugs" Benton. I miss my Navy Uniforms I made for my JAG Sims - unfortunately GIMP is a royal pain to work with trying to get transparencies and I currently don't want to make the effort of doing them up in uniform at the moment so in civvies they'll be.

I worked on what would be "Admiral" Toshio "Animal" Nakamura, retired Navy Admiral, former Chief of Naval Operations and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and former F-14 Tomcat naval aviator. I think he's pretty much the way that I want him to be. He's not a handsome guy, been a part of some pretty nasty bar-brawls and bears the scars of such altercations. He's tough as nails. And I can either have him (depending on the story) go with Jugs or with Meg. I've set him up as an "adult"; not a young adult, so I can either have him go "young adult" for anything between Lieutenant and Captain (O-6) vs. adult for "Rear Admiral lower-half through Fleet Admiral"

NOW, I can go on to the next group of sims that I have to do in order to get my JAGSims back. I'm going onto Commander (now Captain) Harmon Rabb Jr. The toughest part of getting Harm correct in The Sims is trying to find a confounded picture that has David James Elliott NOT smiling and facing the camera straight on. Does he EVER not smile in his pictures? Why? Because what that expression does, is it crinkles his eyes and makes me unable to get a proper read on what his eyes look like in a relaxed position. It affects the true shape of his eyes and makes it harder to get a true image of what he looks like.

…and just letting you know…right now creating Harmon Rabb Jr. is DRIVING ME EFFIN' INSANE!!! He's NOT COOPERATING!!! 🤬

Like I mean...I shouldn't be surprised. I've watched the TV show. When is Mr. Rabb NOT not co-operating?

OK...I got my sliders working and I've now gotten Meg Austin done.

Trying to get the eyes right is the big problem with dealing with Meg and the sliders when finally configured correctly did a large part of getting them as close to "Tracy Needham" (the actress who played Meg Austin in JAG) as possible.

(this post will be continued...at a later date once I get my cc sliders configured).

[awkwardlyfangirly]

ok hello i'm the anon that said you were my fav writer (which still rings true ily💖) and i had this idea and i know you'd be the absolute best at making it into a story (if you want) so leo's got this s/o and they get killed during the events of the movie. well after the kraang are banished and all that april gets him a build a bear kinda teddy bear that was his s/o's fav color with a heartbeat and a voice box of their laughter (hopefully you know what i mean here lol) so leo like cuddles this thing to death every night and brings it with him everywhere he can and he looses it one day or the heartbeat sound stops working and he gets rlly mega freaked out and that's when his bros realize he has a bad attachment to the bear so they try and help him move on as best as he can? does this make sense? i thought of writing it myself but i couldn't hold a candle to your talent so i was hoping you might maybe wanna write about it?? if not it's cool and i appreciate you very much

-💖 anon

ehehe i Love the level of detail u put into this >:))

also you're too kind :')) I've never posted fanfiction before and y'all have been so sweet and encouraging ahhh

okay I've never been to build-a-bear so i just used teddy bear town so i could kinda improvise how it worked! but my google history is still like "build a bear heartbeat" "can you wash build a bear in washing machine" "how does build a bear voice box work" lolol

anywizzles! hope u enjoy! I'm always open to any feedback u guys have, positive or negative - I'd love to be a better writer haha and i appreciate hearing what works and what could be better

/////////////

rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfiction ~ Leo x female self-insert ~ tw/cw: character died in the past; characters dealing with grief and mourning; a graphic nightmare scene <3

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He still sees her in his dreams.

He doesn’t believe in ghosts, but her memory is sure haunting him, night after night after night.

Every time he dozes off, she’s there.

Sometimes the dreams are sweet: her hands on his face, her lips on his mouth, her voice and her smile and her warmth.

And then she fades away.

He’ll wake up reaching out for her. His hands will stretch after her and he’ll gasp her name and she’ll smile softly and then as more and more consciousness wafts back to him he’s forced to understand, to remember. She’s gone. She’s dead.

And sometimes the dreams are nightmares. Sometimes he’s forced to watch her die, again and again and again and again. He’ll get so excruciatingly close to saving her. But she’ll rot away in his hands. Sometimes he is her, feeling the life drain out of himself as he falls to his knees above himself and gathers himself up in his arms.

Sometimes he kills her. Sometimes he is the Krang, hardening three of his tentacles into sharp points and piercing her body right where it is the most vulnerable. Sometimes he feels her blood coating his hands, and he stumbles back with a gasp, and rushes to the bathroom to wash and wash and wash but his hands are red, red, warm and wet and red, and the more he washes the more the blood spreads, until he is covered and dripping in the bathroom, and then when he turns he sees his brothers, open-mouthed and angry, and then when he turns around again, frantically, he sees his reflection in the mirror and it is her, blood-bathed and sobbing.

He hasn’t been sleeping much at all.

It’s been three months since that day, and he’s been spending most of his nights awake. Watching Donnie work, or trying to read, or playing video games, or anything else he can think of to keep his mind switched on. But obviously, he can only go for so long before his body begins to shut itself down. And then he has to sleep. Lost, restless, anxious sleep. He wakes up sweating, drawing in the sheets, shaking and afraid. He naps in the daytime, exclusively; when he wakes back up, there will be brothers ready to distract his minds and his nervous hands. The nighttime is too dark and lonesome and unforgiving to wake up from a nightmare in.

But he won’t tell anyone about any of this. He won’t show it.

All the others make no secret of their grief -- even Mayhem curls up in her old hoodies and whimpers himself to sleep. But Leo? Leo is so carefree and so cheerful and so accepting of it all that April can tell he’s hurting worse than anyone.

April sighs to herself.

She’s standing in the production line at Teddy Bear Town, armed with Raph’s free-bear frequent buyer card, holding a bear husk in her favorite color, waiting to upload a message into a voice box to place inside of the bear. She has the recording up on her phone already, a voicemail from her to Leo that she had asked Donnie to send to her.

Finally, the recording station opens up, and she places her phone next to the microphone. She takes a breath and hits “play.”

“Hiii, my love,” her voice croons. “I miss you. It’s been, like, what, two days? I miss you. I’m on my way back right now but I literally can’t wait until I get home to talk to you again. Call me back. I love you. My lovely, lovely Leo. I love you. Bye. Kisses. Mwah.”

It hurts to hear her, her voice warm and happy and innocent and so, so alive. April bites at her lip and ends the recording.

She puts the voice box in the bear, and a heartbeat heart in the bear; and then when she takes it home she douses it with her favorite scent.

The bear goes in a nice box and she takes it to the lair.

“Heyy,” she says, poking her head into the living room. “Is Leo here? I have --” she drops her voice “-- the bear.”

“I think he’s asleep in the room,” Mikey says. He’s eyeing the box, obviously desperate to see the bear.

“Do you think he’ll mind if I go give it to him now?” April gives in and reaches into the box, pulling out the bear and handing it to Mikey so he can examine it. “I can put it next to him or something.”

“I think he’d like that,” Raph says, softly.

“Okay.” She reaches out her hands and Mikey reluctantly hands the bear back.

“It smells just like her,” he says, his eyes getting watery.

April hugs him and then carries the bear over to the bedroom. She tries the door and it opens easily; she steps inside and glances at Leo in bed.

He’s twitching, twitching, whimpering gently and turning like a rotisserie chicken. The sheets are winding around him, tight, tight. His forehead is pale and sweaty.

“No,” she can hear him mumbling. “No. No. Please.”

She immediately shakes one of his shoulders, and he jolts awake, lunging at her but too constricted by his sheets to move much at all.

“Whoa! Leo!”

He struggles against the sheets for a moment before recognition comes back into his eyes; he freezes, wide-eyed, muscles still tense and quivering.

He doesn’t speak.

“Hey. Hey. You alright?”

He doesn’t speak.

April sighs gently and untangles the sheets from around him.

“I know,” she whispers. “I know, I know. We’ve been through a lot. You… you need anything?”

He shakes his head and forces a smile on his face. There’s not usually anyone with him when he wakes up. He just powers through the aftereffects of the nightmares on his own. He’s never had to deal with the embarrassment of attention.

“Oh, Leo,” April sighs softly, and pats his shoulder. “You know you can always talk to me if you need to, right?”

He nods.

“I got you something,” she says, reaching into the box and then changing her mind and just putting it down on the bedspread. “You can look at it after I leave, okay? I love you. Take care of yourself. Remember that you can talk to any of us, anytime. I love you.”

And then she’s gone, and he’s sitting up in bed, his heart still pounding, his palms sweaty, his ears ringing. She shouldn’t have seen that. No one should ever see that.

He sighs and rubs at his temples and stares at the box. Finally he reaches forward to grab it, and pulls it back towards himself, and opens it and reaches inside. His fingers make contact with something soft and fuzzy, and his blood stills when he recognizes the scent.

It’s her. It’s her smell.

He pulls out the bear, his heart pounding again, and examines it in the low light of his room. It’s her favorite color. He presses his face against its belly -- it smells like her. It’s soft, and cuddly, and it smells like her.

Each inhale feels like a stab wound.

He squeezes the left paw and she starts to talk.

He sits, silent, wide-eyed, barely breathing, staring at the bear as her voice talks at him. Her voice.

He lays down again, clutching the bear to his chest with a death grip that would probably strangle it if it could actually breathe, pressing the paw again and again and again. Listening to her talk. She’s talking to him.

“My lovely, lovely Leo,” she says. “I love you.”

Leo breathes in. Long, and shuddery, and then before he knows it he’s on his side and in the fetal position: choking and coughing on hoarse sobs that rake at his chest with each breath.

He tries the other paw and it’s a heartbeat. Soft, and gentle, and it doesn’t stop as long as he’s holding on tight. He shoves his face into the bear’s stomach again, and the heartbeat thumps reassuringly against his forehead.

He curls around the bear like it’s the only thing holding him afloat.

He wakes up eventually, after a dark and dreamless sleep, and the first thing he notices is that the pillow and the bear are both damp. The space under his eyes is damp, too.

He presses the left paw again.

She speaks.

“I love you,” he tells her. The last time he said it, she was bleeding out in his arms. He holds the bear tight to his chest, squeezing it like she’s come back to him.

He leaves his room to get a snack in the kitchen -- hungry, suddenly, and much braver with her scent held close. He’s pressing down on the right paw, feeling the synthetic heart beat against him.

April is still over; she’s sitting in the living room, watching TV with Leo’s brothers. Their eyes follow him. He pretends not to notice.

He feels so tired. He’s holding the bear so tight, and he feels so tired.

He goes into the kitchen and opens the fridge and stares at the shelves for a while, feeling the cool air nipping at his beak and the heartbeat pulse against his plastron.

Finally, he just closes the fridge door and walks back into his room. And he sits on his bed, and presses his face against her scent, and squeezes the left paw, again and again.

“I love you,” she tells him. “Hi, my love. I love you. I miss you. I love you. I love you.”

He falls asleep again.

His brothers and April peek their heads into the room and see him: wrapped around the bear, curled tight against the wall, still and quiet.

“He looks so calm,” April whispers. “He was… kind of freaking out earlier.”

“You think the bear’s helping??”

“I hope so.”

Leo will not let go of the bear.

He takes her around the house, clutched in his arms; he takes her to the grocery store and the pizza parlor; the only time he leaves her is when he’s heading out on patrol. He doesn’t want anything to happen to her. She sits tucked under the covers when he’s away.

He will not let go of the bear.

It’s been seven months since her death when he misplaces the bear. (She’s been tangled up in his sheets and thrown into the washer. But he doesn’t know that. All he knows is that she’s gone.)

He runs into the living room, panting, shaking, grabbing Raph by the shoulders.

“She’s gone!” he screams, pulling Raph’s face close to his own. “Have you seen her?? She’s GONE!”

“What?? Who’s gone??”

And he screams her name and then bounces from foot to foot, waiting for Raph to do anything, to say anything; and finally he just runs off again, back to the bedroom, tearing apart anything and everything he can get his hands on. She’s gone.

“I should have had Donnie put a tracker,” he rambles, running back into the living room and starting to rip off the couch cushions. “She’s gone. She’s gone. Where could she be?? She was in my room!! In my bed! Right under the covers! Someone took her, right?? I don’t know where else she could be. Oh no. I lost her. I lost her. No. No.”

“Leo, calm down --” Raph starts to say, but Leo wheels around and stares at him, pale and wringing his hands together, and so Raph stands up and starts to look with him.

Eventually all four brothers are looking; and finally Mikey screams from across the house and Leo drops everything he’s holding and chases the sound of his voice, frantically, until finally they slam into each other in the doorway of the laundry room and Mikey presses a familiar lump into his arms.

She’s damp, and floppy, and her fur is kind of weird now, and her scent is greatly subdued, but it’s her.

Leo shoves his face into her belly and squeezes her tight in his arms, catching his breath for a moment, gasping in whatever remnants of her scent he can get. And then he presses one of her paws, and then the other; and there’s just a staticky gurgling from one paw and nothing from the other.

“No,” he says, starting to panic again. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no --”

“Leo, what is it? We found it for you --”

“She doesn’t work,” he mumbles. He presses the paws again, frantically, desperately: “She doesn’t work. Where’s her voice?? Where’s her voice?? Where’s her heartbeat??”

“Leo, calm down. It’s okay. We’ll get you a new one, alright?”

“No,” he says again, starting to flap his hands. The bear shakes along with them. “No, no, no, no, no. I can’t just replace her --”

“It’s a bear, Leo. It’s fine --”

“No!”

“Leo! Calm down!” Raph reaches out for him, trying to wrap him in his arms so he’s safe and constricted and starts to settle down; but Leo dodges away and holds his bear tightly, securely, backing into a corner of the room.

“She’s broken,” he mumbles.

Raph and Mikey exchange a Look.

The three non-Leo brothers discuss the matter later that night, once Leo has gone to bed. They discuss the matter of him, and the bear. The decision is unanimous: they have to talk to him about the way he feels about the bear.

They corner him first thing in the morning.

“Hey,” Raph says softly, as soon as Leo stumbles bleary-eyed into the kitchen, dangling the bear by one paw. “How you doing, buddy??”

Leo shrugs and feels around in the cabinet for a box of cereal.

“We have to talk about the bear,” Mikey says.

“Look, we understand that you love it, and the last thing we would want is to take something that you love away from you -- but we’re getting worried about you, Leo. It’s not quite healthy to get so attached to a toy like that.” Donnie rubs at his arms.

Leo squeezes the bear against his chest.

“You guys don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snaps. “I can love my bear if I want to. It had her voice in it, remember? And her smell? It comforted me.”

“But, Leo --” Mikey starts.

“No! No ‘but leos’!”

“But, Leo -- comfort and dependence are two very different things. You’ve gotten dependent on that bear. And we know you miss her, and the bear reminds you of her, but --”

“Stop talking about her!” Leo shouts. “Her, her, her -- you didn’t know her! You didn’t love her! Not like I did!! Stop talking about her like you understand what it meant to lose her!” And he squeezes his fists together, relaxes, squeezes again. “You don’t understand what it meant to lose her.”

“Leo, we do understand,” Raph says, gently. “We loved her, too. Not quite the way you did -- but we did love her. We lost her, too.”

“But we’ve been able to move on,” Mikey adds. “And of course we haven’t forgotten her, and we haven’t stopped missing her -- but we understand that she’s gone. And that she’s not coming back to us. You have to deal with that, Leo, with the root of it all -- you have to understand, and you have to move on.”

“Move on?? You’re telling me to just move on from losing her?! It’s only been seven months! And besides -- besides -- I’ll never be able to get over her. She’s the sort of girl you don’t just ‘get over.’”

“Leo, Leo, I know. We all know. It’s not easy for any of us! We miss her, too; we’re grieving, too; but --”

“But you didn’t kill her,” Leo says, softly, and his grip on the bear loosens slightly.

“What?”

“You didn’t kill her,” Leo says. “Your hands aren’t stained red every time you look at them --” and he leans heavily against the kitchen counter.

“Leo, you didn’t kill her.”

“But I did. It’s my fault the Krang are here in the first place. If I hadn’t… if I hadn’t…”

He presses the back of a hand to his eyes and breathes, breathes, steadies himself.

“If I hadn’t made a mess of things, none of this would ever have happened. It’s my fault the Krang were here.” His eyes are getting hot, wet, messy. He keeps wiping at them, over and over. “It’s my fault. You’ve never screamed it at me, amazingly. I don’t deserve you guys. But you know it, I know you do; it’s my fault that the Krang got here in the first place. If I hadn’t goofed up so bad, then they would still be in that prison dimension -- and she’d still be -- she’d still be --”

He doubles over at the kitchen counter and slides down to the ground, hunched over, grinding the palms of his hands into his eye sockets and screaming silently.

“Leo.” Raph sits down next to him, and sweeps his little brother into a tight hug. His own eyes are misting over. “Leo, none of us blame you…”

“But you should,” he blubbers. “You should. It’s my fault. Don’t say it’s not, just to try to make me feel better. I know it’s true --”

Mikey and Donnie kneel down next to them, wrapping their own arms around Leo, and Raph encloses all three of them in his arms.

They sit on the kitchen floor, hollow and grieving and sobbing. And Leo has the bear squeezed against his chest still, tight, tight, because he can’t let her go. he can’t let her go. he can’t let her go. he can’t let her go. he can’t let her go.

But two mornings after that, there’s a scrapbook on his bedspread. It’s filled, cover to cover, with her. Her favorite things, her favorite color, pictures of her, and the whole thing is drenched in her scent.

There’s a note attached to it, from all three of his brothers, and April.

You don’t have to move on just yet, the note says. We understand that. But try to focus on her, okay? Try to focus on her memory. She’d rather have you remember her than have you freak out over losing a bear that sounds like her. You know she would.

Leo agrees. He thumbs through the pages, and she smiles up at him from each picture. He can still hear her voice in his mind, and feel her hands on his cheeks.

He imagines that she’s there with him, in the room, right now. What would he say to her?

I’m sorry I killed you, he would say. It was incredibly stupid of me and I am so, so, so sorry.

I forgive you for killing me, she would say. And then she would sit down next to him on the bed and hug him, long and hard and tight. It’s been rough? Right? I’m so, so sorry for that. I never want to hurt you, Leo --

Don’t apologize for that, he’d say. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.

But look at you. Look at how sad you are. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

No. Don’t be sorry. I’m happy to be sad over you. It means that I still love you. I still love you, so much; but the love is just spilling over from inside of me. I have nowhere to put my love for you. I’m happy to be sad over you.

You’re funny, she’d smile, and then she’d hug him tight again and kiss his forehead.

He shuts his eyes. He misses her, so, so much.

But okay. Okay. For his brothers’ sake, he’ll try. Maybe that’s where he can put his love for her -- he can put it on his brothers. He can try his best to make them happy.

He sighs through his nose and tucks the bear back under his covers. Okay. She’ll stay there today.

He’ll see her tonight. He’ll hold her close tonight.

And he’ll keep her alive, keep her alive and well, with the love that’s inside his heart.

[agwic]

my opinions on post-canon homestuck

i see so many opinions on this mess. always. but especially now that it's back. and most of these opinions are bad. so here i am, to grace the world with my objectively correct take, which is that post-canon homestuck is bad exclusively because it does not include best spidertroll aranea serket.

PART 1: OVERALL OPINIONS

ok more seriously(but no less pretentiously and arrogantly, this is homestuck after all) i did in fact enjoy reading the epilogues and hs^2 and was sad to see it go. im unsure if i thought it was good, but i would rather it exist than not exist, and if that doesn't mean it was good, what does? I do think this new team will probably do a better job though. that doesn't mean im glad the old team got harassed off the project, obviously. ugh i dont know what crowd im pandering to with this. if i start with what i disliked about post-canon homestuck, it'll scare off the people who liked it, even though i think they're on the right side of this fandom conflict. but if i start with what i liked, it'll scare of the people who hated it, who make up a majority of the fandom, and also have quite a few good points. i guess ill just assume the crowd which was more charitable to post-canon homestuck will also be more charitable to me, and start with what i disliked.

PART 2: CANONICITY

is post-canon homestuck canon? the epilogues say that they're "outside canon" but not "non-canon". this is a shitty answer and anyone with the pattern recognition skills necessary to recognize a double negative can tell. i feel like the epilogues knew this was a shitty answer, but that doesn't mean i don't want a better answer. maybe we'll get a better answer, eventually. now, the correct answer is that post-canon homestuck is not canon, but still has a bearing on canon. because that's the only answer that doesn't cause several issues. like, if they're just fully non-canon, basically just fanfiction, then that would open up a gaping plot hole in homestuck, of "hey wait what about the masterpiece and lord english". some people think you can just ignore this fact, but i am not one of those people. on the other hand, if they're just fully canon

PART 2.5: THEY DESERVED A HAPPY ENDING

hey wasn't the intermission after act 3? do i need to rearrange this post to be a weird meta reference to the act structure of homestuck? the answer to one of those questions is yes and the other is no, but getting more into that is for another section. anyways yeah, the title kinda says it all. what was the point of homestuck if, after all that, they opened the door to the new universe, and shit just kept happening. this is also why you can't handwave that earlier plot hole with "oh they just went back to handle it at some point and died" because that doesn't sound like a happy ending to me. and if they don't get a happy ending after all that, then homestuck just becomes a neverending black hole of infinite cynicism, which i am not a fan of and would be horrible. and even if, after all of the post-canon bullshit, they get another happy ending, who's to say that happy ending won't be ruined for no good reason like their last one was? i mean other than the fact that they'll presumably be out of classpects by then. oh that's another reason this can't be wholly non-canon, we need those classpects. someone needs to explain to me what a sylph is and kanaya did a pretty shit job at it if im being honest, and im sure aranea would have had a good explanation but they fucking erased her from existence so.

PART 2.5.5: MY HEADCANONS! NO!

that's not how numbers work. but anyways, another reason declaring this as wholly canon would be shitty is that post-canon just kinda stomps over a lot of headcanons for little reason. trans girl roxy, for instance. also people who think jade doesn't have a dog dick exist and are quite loud but they're not me so they don't matter. let's talk about trans girl roxy. or not, since all there is to say on the matter is that roxy is a trans girl. i could go into why i have this headcanon but does it matter? does any of this matter? no not really. but im sure you have some headcanon which post-canon invalidates for no reason, so you can empathize with me here.

PART 3: VRISKA DID SEVERAL THINGS WRONG

alternate title: "kate mitchell did in fact have some bad takes". this could be folden into the previous sub-section but vriska's too important for that. actually fuck no, vriska isn't important at all. you know who is important? the answer is aranea in most scenarios, but in this case, the answer is tavros. when hussie glorified vriska and shat on tavros, it felt like a joke, like literally everything hussie ever did. when kate glorified vriska and shat on tavros, i got the impression she genuinely believed the shit she was spewing. now, did she deserve to be harassed for her horrible takes? obviously not, that would be something vriska would do, and thus hypocritical. especially the blatant lies, because wow i just googled "kate mitchell homestuck" and people are lying even more blatantly about her now that they were back when hs^2 was ongoing? anyways this section isn't about kate mitchell, it's about vriska, and by that i mean it's about tavros. speaking of tavros am i literally the only person on earth who projected onto tavros while reading homestuck? like i rarely get the impression that other people are actually sympathetic to tavros, they all just see him as pathetic. which makes me sad. even though he is pathetic. oh vriska also did another thing wrong, which was indirectly cause aranea to metamorphosize into a piece of sh

PART 4: THE META SHIT

despite the title for this section including the word "shit" we're now onto the good parts of post-canon homestuck. because the meta shit was genuinely entertaining to me, and also i've seen enough analysis of it to know that it's not just surface level bullshit trying to look interesting. it's been long enough since i read the epilogues that i probably couldn't contribute anything to that discussion but i have it on good authority that this is good and not just my brain activating whenever i see meta shit and/or time travel. oh also this is the section where i was supposed to talk about structuring this post based on homestuck but im not doing that

PART 5: HOMESTUCK WASN'T OVER

this kinda contradicts one of the earlier sections. but it's true. there were several plot threads left hanging by the end of homestuck proper. most notably caliborn's masterpiece, the defeat of lord english, and the four missing classpects. the meat epilogue handily dealt with those first two, and if hs^2 doesn't deal with that last one i am going to track down andrew hussie and silently hand to him a strongly worded letter while holding a butter knife. i know i already said this but it bears repeating. i need to know what a sylph is. so that i can write my 10,000 page aranea-centric fanfiction. im begging you. do you not want to see my 10,000 page aranea-centric fanfiction? do you not w

PART 6: THERE WAS SOME OTHER GOOD STUFF IN THERE TOO

putting actual trans characters in homestuck was a good idea. shame they picked the wrong one. i imagine they'll get around to making june canon eventually. i cannot state my opinions on jade's dog dick or else risk being forever barred from the homestuck fandom. some of the gamma kids are interesting. tavvy and yiffy, specifically. i wanna see where those two characters end up going. "deltritus" is a funny name. i sure hope that ripping off the main plot point from "to boldly flee" was intentional. im not sure if that last sentence was a good thing. but it was an entertaining thing. um, the more homestuck there is, the more likely aranea gets brought back? ok yeah now im grasping for straws but im sure you get the idea

PART 7: I'M STILL CALLING IT HS^2

why did they rename it. that was a very silly decision.

oh hey 7 parts that's nice. if i moved part 2 to the end it might mirror homestuck better. but im too lazy to do that. pretend that this mild oversight is actually a brilliant creative decision okay? okay.

[rollercoasterwords]

hi, i think i’m the anon from earlier more so meant the people looking up explicit mlm fics don’t see their own hypocrisy in complaining about lesbian fetishisation?

idk. as an mlm myself i think some marauders fics revolving around mlm relationships are heavily sexualised for authors that, yes are queer, but don’t identify as men. and there’s absolutely no problem with writing queer smut, i want to make that very clear. but it’s when it becomes something that is done in every chapter and so explicit despite the fact that the author would have never experienced that type of sexual relationship.

and these fics are more so consumed by women. again, no harm in that. but you have to ask why they’re specifically looking for explicit mlm fics.

i more so see this type of behaviour on tiktok, specifically regarding sweater weather (me and a lot of my mlm mutual found it very uncomfortable to read) and it’s a very popular fic.

anyways, i agree that queer sex shouldn’t be a taboo topic but i think there should be boundaries or lines (whether they be messy or not) drawn on who can consume that media. there’s no harm in explicit queer smut but i think it becomes problematic when it is written by and read by cis women.

men consuming lesbian smut and porn is uncomfortable and disgusting, i think the same opinions should be applied when women do the same to explicit gay media.

i also want to outline this is not an attack towards you or anyone else, it’s simply my opinion, i can be quite blunt in my delivery but i promise there’s no malice in this.

much love :)

hi! i appreciate the clarification and i appreciate the desire to engage in a conversation about this. i don't think you were too blunt or harsh, and i am also sending you much love! there's a lot to unpack here, so i'm gonna go ahead and respond as best i can, bearing in mind that i think our opinions on this topic might just differ.

so, this is me wading into the weeds on the fetishization conversation. my response is gonna get long and considering the nature of the topic i'm going to be talking about sex, so if that's something you don't want to see then just keep scrolling!

ok so before i even start this conversation, a few ground rules since this is a sensitive topic -

this is a conversation. i am not presenting my thoughts here with the intention of saying that i am absolutely 100% correct or that everyone needs to think the way i do. i am also not presenting my thoughts here with the intent of engaging in any sort of debate or argument. this is a subject on which my own thoughts have changed and could change again, and i value perspectives and opinions different from my own that challenge me to consider why i think the way i do. so if you've read this far - please only continue to read if you are capable of engaging with this post as a conversation. thanks!

i am only speaking about the marauders fandom here. everything i say is being said within that scope. that is because it is the only fandom space that i am plugged into. what i say here may not apply in other fandoms, and it may not apply to fanfiction as a whole in broad, sweeping terms. that is because i am only talking about the marauders fandom

everything i say here is being said with the premise that i do not think either gender or sexuality are fixed, inherent identities. this is part of my own personal worldview, and it is not something that everyone will agree with. if anyone is curious about why i think that way, i'm happy to explain further - but i won't right now, because that's not the purpose of this post. suffice it to say that if you disagree with that premise, you may disagree with a lot of the thoughts building off of it, but what matters is that we are all operating from the same premise for the purposes of this post. and since it's my post, i get to choose the premise! fun :)

i am defining "fetishization" as used in this essay as the reduction of someone's sexuality to a sex object; essentially, viewing homosexuality as nothing more than a means by which to get off, rather than a complex experience and identity.

okay if you've made it through the ground rules and are still here, great! let's get into it. first, anon, i'm going to try to summarize your point - if i'm misinterpreting or misconstruing anything, please let me know! but from what i understand right now, the gist of what you're saying is:

it's uncomfortable/problematic when cis women read and write highly explicit/graphic sexual content about mlm because they themselves would never/have never experienced those types sexual relationships

and your final sort of "conclusion" seems to be this part:

"...there should be boundaries or lines (whether they be messy or not) drawn on who can consume that media."

so bear with me, but i essentially want to push back a little and ask some questions about assumptions that might be underlying that viewpoint. again, i'm not trying to argue or debate; i am not saying that this opinion is wrong and you shouldn't have it. i'm just saying hey! i don't entirely agree, but your points challenged me to think about why, so let's talk about it!

first, i want to do a little thought experiment. you draw this conclusion that you think there do need to be some boundaries and lines, and the boundary you seem to be suggesting is that "the author would have never experienced that type of sexual relationship." so, let's run with that - let's say that writers should only write about the types of sexual relationships they've experienced.

i'm a lesbian. i've written about two gay men having sex. does that create the same discomfort?

"well, rae," you might say, "obviously not. obviously you aren't fetishizing gay men. you're gay, too! you understand homosexuality, and it isn't just a fetish to you."

ok! cool. lesbians get the green card to write about gay sex. awesome, love that for us. what about a bisexual woman?

now here, this conversation can go one of two ways. either you say - yeah, of course, any queer person can write about queer sex. in which case i say - cool! sounds good. from what i've seen, the majority of sexual content in the marauders fandom is queer people writing about queer sex, so this whole conversation about fetishization just doesn't really seem like an issue here to me.

OR you say no, that's where i'm drawing the line, because bi women experience attraction to men, which means that if they write about men having graphic sex with each other they are reducing those men to sex objects. to which i just kind of say...really? like, are you sure?

you use the fic sweater weather as an example. and i have read that fic, although it's been a while, so it's not entirely fresh in my mind, and i also do not know anything about the writer's gender, sexuality, or the types of sex they may or may not have had. based on your ask, it seems like the writer is a woman, which, ok. trusting u on that one. you said that the explicit sexual content made you and some of your mlm friends uncomfortable when you read it, and my very first initial thought to that is - then why did you read it?

like, the thing about fanfic is that nobody has to read it. and even if it's popular, there's nobody profiting off of it. i actually went to check in ao3, and sweater weather is not only tagged as "Explicit," but it also contains the tags, "smut," "sexual content," "blow jobs," "anal sex," and "semi-public sex," which means that before even reading the first sentence, you would have known to expect all of that explicit sexual content. so right off the bat, if that type of explicit sexual content makes you uncomfortable, i am genuinely asking from a place of confusion: why read it? or if you thought it wouldn't make you uncomfortable but then you got to it and it did, why keep reading? why not simply close the fic?

regardless, we have both read that fic, and although like i said, it's been a while, and it's not exactly fresh in my mind, i personally did not come away from it thinking that the explicit sexual content was fetishizing. we may just have a difference of opinion here, and obviously we're going to have different perspectives, so maybe this is just something that i need explained a bit more to me to understand (and i would value the input of any gay men/mlm who would like to talk to me about this!). but from what i remember, there's a lot more to the story than just the sexual content, the characters are fleshed out beyond their sexualities, and the sexual content was actually relevant in the context of the broader story being told in the ways that it deepened the characters' relationship, explored the ways in which they related to each other, and was situated in a larger story involving homophobia amidst hockey culture. at the end of the day, i just didn't get the sense that the writer was reducing gay men to nothing more than sexual objects.

and so this might be getting back into that limit you set earlier - "the author would have never experienced that type of sexual relationship." like, currently, that seems to be your baseline for fetishization - that if an author has never experienced a certain type of sexual relationship, they cannot write about it without reducing it to an object of fetish. but the reason that i just can't get behind this is that at the end of the day, you have no way of knowing what kinds of sexual relationships a writer has or has not engaged in, because a person's gender and sexuality tells you nothing about what kind of sex they have. identity can change over time, and just because someone identifies a certain way now doesn't mean they always have. something that was interesting to me about your ask is later on when you specify, "there’s no harm in explicit queer smut but i think it becomes problematic when it is written by and read by cis women." the specification on cis women here interests me simply because...cis women can have queer sex. additionally, i want to challenge you to pause and think about why you're placing trans and cis women in different categories here. what assumptions might you be making about the types of sexual relationships trans women and cis women have, and why might those assumptions lead you decide that one type of woman is more qualified to write about certain sexual experiences than another? again, i will reiterate: a person's gender and sexuality does not actually give you any information about the types of sexual relationships they have had, are having, or may have in the future. this is why i think "only write about sexual relationships you have had" is an impossible boundary to set.

furthermore, i actually think that fanfiction should be a safe space for people to explore types of sexual relationships they maybe haven't had! gender and sexuality are not static or fixed; they are identities that can change throughout a person's life, and they are identities that i think people should be encouraged to explore. a cis woman writing or reading about gay sex may be exploring some things about her own gender and sexuality, and because of the nature of fanfiction (outside the profit economy, tagging system that helps protect people from being forced to see things they don't want to see, etc) i actually think it should remain a safe space for her to do that.

and so here you might say -- ok rae, i'm with you on most of this, but surely there must be some aspect of fetishization going on? why else would explicit mlm fics be so wildly popular when explicit wlw fics are not? and the thing is, i've talked about that question at length in this post, so i'm not gonna say it all again -- but essentially, i think a lot of it has to do with the ways in which people taught to be women are systematically alienated from their own bodies and desires, making it easier to explore sexual desire through the medium of fictional men.

so like...when you say "you have to ask why they’re specifically looking for explicit mlm fics." there's a lot of possible answers to this question! maybe they're questioning their own gender or sexuality. maybe they have some complicated internalized feelings surrounding their own sexual desire that make it easier to read something the feels a few steps removed. maybe they're curious about a type of sex they've never had before. or maybe they are just reading it to get off--and we might have a difference of opinion here, but i do not think that that in and of itself is problematic, because there is a difference between "somebody gets off to x thing" and "somebody views x thing exclusively as material for getting off." one is fetishization, the other is just...human sexual desire.

and the thing is, there is no way to know the reasons behind why every single person who is reading mlm fic is reading it. there is no line you can draw in the sand that will ensure everyone is always reading it for "the right reasons" without in some way excluding queer people from access to what should be a safe space to explore sex and sexuality. and that's why i tend to be wary anytime i see these conversations about fetishization popping up within the marauders fandom.

one last thing i feel the need to address: you say that "men consuming lesbian smut and porn is uncomfortable and disgusting, i think the same opinions should be applied when women do the same to explicit gay media." and i'm going to disagree with you here, for a number of reasons.

we're not talking porn as a whole (or at least, i'm not). we're talking about fanfiction, which is a unqiue form of media and should be treated as its own thing.

i agree that all fetishization is bad, but the fetishization of lesbians by men versus the fetishization of gay men by women are two entirely different situations. like. the power dynamics at play are very different, and the ways each group is affected looks different, and the ways in which that fetishization happens look different and just...idk, this feels like a simplification of a much more nuanced conversation that i do not have time to get into right now.

WITHIN this conversation we're having about marauders fanfiction and explicit sexual content there though - i actually do not agree that men consuming explicit sexual content about lesbians is always going to be uncomfortable and disgusting. in fact, within the context of marauders fic, i'd say that everything i've already said about women consuming mlm content could probably be applied to men consuming wlw content. like...i don't mind if men are reading and enjoying my lesbian sex scenes. obviously i don't want anyone fetishizing them, but i sincerely doubt that that's what's happening in a majority-queer space like the marauders fandom--if there are men reading and enjoying the sex scenes i write, i think it's far more likely that they are probably finding some common ground in our shared queerness. and even if there is a cishet man out there reading my work -- i don't mind him engaging with a portrayal of lesbian sexuality, and maybe it's even a good thing for him to venture outside the heteronormative bubble and get an idea of what queer sex looks like to queer people. is it a risk that someone might read it and fetishize it? sure. but lesbians are going to be fetishized no matter what boundaries i try to set, so i would rather my work remain a safe space for queer people of any identity than try to cherry pick who can and cannot read it. also, i have read fic with lesbian sex that was not written by lesbians or wlw, and was still done well, and was still not fetishizing. at the end of the day, it's the actual content that matters to me, and not the identity of the writer. obviously, the identity of the writer will inform their content to a certain extent, but that doesn't mean writers should only be limited to writing experiences that they personally have had. especially in fanfic, which i view as a safe space for exploration.

anyway, as i warned at the beginning, this got very long, but i wanted to take the time to flesh out my thoughts and really address the points you were making. hopefully this provides some food for thought on the conversation about fetishization within the marauders fandom, and hopefully it helps to explain why i'm wary of trying to create boundaries around who does or doesn't have a right to read or write certain types of fanfiction!

much love <3

[lonesomedotmp3]

this is so embarrassing <3 but would you happen to maybe possibly have a merlin (2008) fic rec list beloved mutual..... not nearly enough fic writers get it like my beloved mutuals do

i can assure you that is absolutely not even close to as embarrassing as it is to have devoured any and everything the merlin fanfiction world has to offer. i have read aus that you would not believe. i have been subjected to characterisations and headcanons that would make anyone else instantly close the tab. i have read authors with such a poor clumsy grasp of british slang i could weep from embarrassment. yet i persevered. for MONTHS. and here is what me (and beth <3) have managed to scrounge up after all of that. please use everything i've just said as context that we were NOT in our right minds reading these. proceed with caution

tributes - the! hunger! games! fic!!!! iconic legendary spectacular THEE revolutionary turnaround for the merlin fanfiction game and for the horrors generally. do NOT go in overhyped tho me and beth went in like haha what a cool weird au and then it caught us off-guard that it wasn't written terribly. also good for something longer and about much more than just merlin and arthur. it's fr like watching the show again for better and for worse. it's got camp whimsy it's got our main duo acting like complete freaks it's got this constant suffocating sense of inevitable tragedy... slayed!

history books forgot about us and in dreams - by the hunger games writer so u know it's actually written well!! don't read their other stuff tho just trust me. my memory of the first one isn't great but i remember feeling with both that finally FINALLY someone Got the finale like me + beth did. short but just rlly solid satisfying follow-ups to the show.

the court of avalon - freya + arthur best friendism in avalon realest shit ever said!!! makes me go fucking crazy fr. YES this has way too much magic lore bullshit to it and i don't careeee they're my friends.... and FINALLY a proper post-finale fic where they don't just freeze arthur in time for 1500 years...

to the point of fear - slay little mordred character study!!!!

the world i built for you - the disir fix-it!! smth i have always wanted due to being sooooo Normal about that episode (arthur's matrix. if u even care). not perfect but worth a read for sure!!

long title and also long title - i rlly like established relationship fics. sorry for being cringe and boring some crimes can never b forgiven etc.

like clouds in starlight widely spread - ok the rest of these i'm going to copy/paste from my list for beth sorry <3 but if i've already written a little deseription for each one why give myself more work yk. anyway: sad and wistful and A Lot as someone who was about to move out of my hometown when i read this. if i said it chapter two vibes. actually that doesn't mean anything ignore that. at one point arthur goes "are you trying to tell me something?" and merlin responds with, "i'm always trying to tell you something." which uh. he really is huh. it's whatever though.

fundamental imperfection - merlin and arthur as writers, gets their first meeting right (arguing and being dicks, then immediately becoming obsessed with each other). don't remember much else except the sequel is unfinished heavy angst and i cried like three times. don't read that (+ HIGHLY positively peer reviewed by beth. tell us a story about love!!!)

as long as we have we - i know you've read that fake marriage christmas fic which i love a lot (maybe it has problems but it's just so endearing...) and this is the same vibe. or well it's christmas and it's sweet so

(and said xmas fic: no matter how far away you roam <3)

tintagel - i don't know how i feel abt merlin and arthur in this but the parallels made to ygraine and nimueh are just too insanity inducing to ignore. my price is my life yours is to bear witness.... they wrote that in 2009!!!! insane

ok that's a lot + it's the best merlin ff has to offer. which is still not that great but. enjoy!! + b thankful you do not have to go into the hellscape that is the merlin ao3 tag...

kingdoms - i have no memory of this tbh but i wrote 'yeah.' underneath the bookmark so it's gotta have something

sorry edit one more I forgot - merlin and arthur are exes and arthur is just soooo weird and sad and repressed about it. also peer reviewed 🫶 (X) and also check out beth's merlin fanfiction recs tag if for some insane reason u want more. ok bye 🫂

[undercoverwizardfanfiction]

I posted 53 times in 2022

21 posts created (40%)

32 posts reblogged (60%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@undercoverwizardninjaturtle

@jadethest0ne

@undercoverwizardfanfiction

@starrcrossrose

@void-inked-pen

I tagged 23 of my posts in 2022

#rottmnt - 22 posts

#rottmnt fanfiction - 14 posts

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles - 14 posts

#undercoverwizardninjaturtle - 11 posts

#donnie - 11 posts

#tmnt - 9 posts

#leo - 9 posts

#rottmnt fantasy au - 6 posts

#rise of teenage mutant ninja turtles - 5 posts

#teenage mutant ninja turtles - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 50 characters

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtle fanfiction

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Title: Glass Shell

Verse: ROTTMNT

Summary: Afterall, aren’t we all in various stages of falling apart?

Characters: Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael

Pairings:

Warnings: PTSD, meltdown, nightmares, past trauma

@hoshisoul and @soldierofsirens thank you both :)

Being a record-breaking insomniac, Leo is always finicky if he wakes up before he’s ready. Normally the process includes twelve alarms, turning off the heated blanket he had started using for the top half of his body and the slightly warmer second heated blanket he used for the bottom half and letting nature do its work (if he’s lucky, he’d be up by noon). What he doesn’t like is having an empty bag dropped entirely on his face. For a moment all he can do was shoot up in a sitting position and swipe at his face furiously till he’s able to catch it and pull it off. He pushes up his eye mask and rubs at his face as he reads the bag.

“Naturally sourced fair trade premium coffee beans?” He looks up to his assailant. “Raph, I keep telling you coffee is a gateway drug and our grocery bills can’t afford another caffeine addict—”

“That's not—no, I don’t have the physical strength to fight Donnie for coffee every morning,” Raph says with a shake of his head, as though the very thought of it was enough to give him nightmares. “No, I wanted to talk to you, ’cause I think something might be happening and I’m not sure. I’ve been wrong in the past; I’ve made things worse in the past—” Raph starts tapping his forefingers as his talking speeds up. “And—and I don't want to overstep, but I can't stop thinking about it and—and I thought I’d come to you since you’re better about this—”

“Buddy, buddy, you’re at a 10 right now, I need you to be at a 3,” Leo pulls his water jug off his bedside and takes a sip. “Maybe a 2. “

Raph's face twists up in frustration, but he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths and opens his eyes again. He starts pacing across the small space between Leo’s bed and the door, gesturing with his hands.

“OK, so we got groceries two days ago. I remember because you always buy an extra three boxes of cookies. One for dipping into sour cream while you shop, one for Pops so he doesn’t eat your cookies, and one for the drive home, ’cause, and I quote: ‘I just did my chore for the week and I deserve this.’” Raph pauses and looks at him. “You know, how you’re still alive is beyond me.”

“Pizza Supreme in the Sky wouldn’t gift me to the world and take me away so easy.'' Leo grins. Now that he’s waking up more, he stretches out his arms and legs in almost a catlike manner and yawns. “OK, OK, so we went grocery shopping. So what?”

“So, every week Donnie gets four large bags of overpriced coffee from that vegan store on the other side of town because the one we used to go to banned you both.”

“We’ve been over this. If they didn’t want us to ride a robot bear through their vegan honey aisle they should have put up a sign—”

“—SO I went to throw it in the recycling bin. And I saw there were already, like, four bags in there. That doesn’t seem healthy.”

Ah, worried big brother Raph is a classic. Leo can’t help but smile and reach out, wrapping his smaller hand around Raphs larger finger, which instinctively wraps around his.

“OK, OK, big guy, come here. Come listen to Wisonardo.” He manages to scoot over to let Raph sit down next to him before he gets up on his knees and starts kneading his shoulder. But upon realizing his fingers didn’t have the strength to make a difference, he switches to his elbows. “I know you love to worry. It’s your favorite thing to do other than collecting Teddy Bear Town coupons and anxiety. And the fact you haven't been hovering over him is great and I’m proud of you… I mean yeah, that much coffee would kill a T-Rex. But Donnie—'' Four bags was a lot of coffee, was he not sleeping at all? “That is a lot for him, but we’ve all been going through a lot with the Invasion, and I think this is just how he’s coping. I think.”

See the full post

111 notes - Posted September 20, 2022

#4

An EDIT i made based on images from the ROTTMNT season 1 finale

141 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#3

HEY! It’s Charmy here, over on the SaveROTTMNT server we’re gauging interest to see if anyone is interested in participating in a ROTTMNT movie zine! If you’re interested let me know, we need artists, writers and maybe a few mods. Just let me know and we’ll see how it goes!

143 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#2

I don’t normally draw but I’ve been practicing, I still consider myself a writer by trade but it’s fun to try new things

based on this post

486 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I’ve said it once I’ll say it again for those in the back. Because even I , who post REGULARLY, have been getting these messages lately

👏STOP👏HARASSING👏CREATORS👏

“But they’re taking forever-😭”

THEN YOU’LL WAIT FOREVER

“They’re my favorite creator-“

THEN STOP HARASSING THEM AND BE SUPPORTIVE DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO ADMIT WHEN YOU LOOSE INTEREST IN A PROJECT? IF YOU REALLY SUPPORT THEM THEN YOU’LL SUPPORT THEM EVEN IF THEYRE NOT GIVING YOU ANYTHING

“They left it on such a cliffhanger-“

THAT DOESN’T CONSTITUTE THE RIGHT TO THREATEN PEOPLE DENNIS

I DONT CARE YOUR ARGUMENT BECAME INVALID WHEN YOU STARTED BULLYING PEOPLE. LET PEOPLE LIVE THEIR LIVES STOP HARASSING THEM

This has been Charmy saying “stop being a jerk”😘

1,319 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[amynchan]

No matter how much you try to change from your foundations to be a better person, you're gonna run into biases you didn't know you ever had, and you're even gonna run into preconceived notions that you unintentionally got from trying to be a better person.

When this happens, it's ok. You're human, just like the rest of us. Here's what you do:

Recognize that it's a bias or a preconceived notion. The hardest part about this is our longing to be 'good' that forces us into denial and makes the problem worse. So don't do that. Recognize when there's a problem.

Examine it. Why is this bias here? What does it mean for you? What kind of conclusions does this notion help you to reach?

Ask yourself how you can apply little changes to change it. Just little stuff. Trying to turn around big ideas in a matter of a few days is really, really difficult, but trying to ignore it will leave it there forever.

Keep at it. You're gonna fall and stumble a bit, and that's okay. Just keep at it, and you'll do better.

Example under the cut because mine is kinda controversial (and I'm used to that)

So in trying to be a better person, I started resisting what I learned as a kid and leaned into the whole 'people love who they love' bit. Gay rights, trans rights, lesbian rights, you name it. So I spent a very long time trying to deprogram what I'd learned so I could be a better ally. A lot of people have this story.

Where this story starts is when I was reading a gay fanfic (which is honestly now one of my favs and I love it so much. Partially for the reason about to come).

So one of the characters has an ex boyfriend he calls 'spontaneous Kyle.' When I read it, I thought that that was a strange name for a girl, and it took me forever to realize that a gay man had had an unsatisfying relationship with another man. It wasn't even exaggerated abusive (which I'm used to as a narrative device from lots of angles), it was just an uncomfortable relationship that didn't work out. It also wasn't the only one of his previous relationships that didn't work out. There was a dude that was likened to a teddy bear, really sweet, but it just didn't work out because of life stuff.

Here's where my reprograming had gone wrong: I presumed that once gay men broke out of heteronormative trends, the first man they found would be infinitely better because no social restrictions and therefore be True Love. I had a bias, hidden from myself, that gay love is intrinsically better and therefore true and Couldn't Go Wrong barring excessive abuse.

That is where my efforts to become a better ally led me (because romance, though I really want it, isn't something that makes immediate sense to me, so I gotta think it through a lot).

So that was step 1. Recognizing that I had that preconceived notion. It took a whole fanfiction outside of my perspective to see, but now that I could, I was Flabbergasted, and I realized that that had to Change.

So, onto step 2. I had to figure out why I thought gay love was better and what led to that thinking. What I eventually figured out is that in the campaigning for rights, LGBTQ present their case as fiercely as possible, arguing to be natural to themselves against the forced heteronormativity of most society. It's a persuasion tactic, and it's honestly one I don't blame them for using, but as I was passively absorbing the media around it, it went too far in my mind.

So I had to look really hard at it and say 'what do they really want?' And the answer I, a heteroromantic demisexual, finally came to was that they just want the choice of it. They want to meet people, put their hearts on the line, get those hearts broken, and trial and error their way to true love in the same way straight people get to now. Big difference to what I initially thought, which was "get rid of the heteronormativity so we can all find our One True Love immediately," which is what I'd unintendedly absorbed through all of the LGBTQ media and campaigning.

Listen: this is about recognizing and changing biases and preconceived notions. I wouldn't be able to outline this process if I didn't go through it myself.

Step 3 is actually about how to change those biases. Since it'd be really intrusive--not to mention rude af--to ask actual LGBTQ people about their dating history and whether they'd found dissatisfying LGBTQ relationships in the past, I went back to the fanfiction. Whenever I read 'spontaneous Kyle,' I forced him to take shape in my mind. The other boyfriends, too. I forced them to take shape and be paired off with the character so I could force myself to visualize what I'd unintentionally ignored. Same for other fanfictions. If I saw a past partner, I'd force myself to stop and visualize what that had to be like to remind myself that love is love in the way that it is messy, confusing, and not always straightforward.

Step 4 is one I'm still on and will be on until the notion is fully dispelled. The fact that it still sometimes catches me by surprise reminds me that I need to keep working at it until it's just another fact of life.

So I feel like I'm at least aware of and changing that bias, and I know there are others lurking around in my brain just because of how I was raised and how I myself tried to overcome what I saw as shortcomings in my own raising. I'm going to get it wrong, and so are you. However, taking the moment to admit what's going wrong and taking steps to correct it helps you move forward as a person.

Anyways, this is for the people who are like me and usually terrified to admit that they've done wrong in trying to become a better person because they feel like they're about to be horribly punished for trying to do the right thing. Even if you made a mistake, you're allowed to try to do better.

it's safe to try and do better.

[1010ninetynine]

7 pages into women by charles bukowski. he's like a fanfiction smut writer but bad at it. self indulgent but no emotional charge to the sex, hell, i don't even know why the woman mc's fucking is so sexy. at least try to make me interested in her BODY (you have failed to make the main character interesting bukowski so it's ok. you can just give up on that.)

Spoilers under cut, if you're going to read it, there's rape fyi.

like lydia's poems are bad. all she is is hot. and you're not even giving me much about how exactly she's hot bukowski. im so?? like what is the point. You're a lonely old man who's not gotten laid? is this some fantasy? what am i reading? why am I reading it? why is this the entire book so far? and then he has the audacity to reference how women think he can't write women...women are right. what the fuck is this book?

ok take a look at this section,

"I got up and mixed her one. Lydia lit a long cigarette and sipped at her drink. "You sure look good in that hat," I said. "That purple feather is something." "It's my father's hat." "Won't he miss it?" "He's dead." I pulled Lydia over to the couch and gave her a long kiss."

(women by charles bukowski)

omg wow her father's dead? swoon? im not even understanding why he wants the sex right then? Is he bored of her life story? im so confused.

the most revealing line i think is this "I masturbated regularly, but the idea of having a relationship with a woman-- even on non-sexual terms--was beyond my imagination."

like...the idea of a relationship with a woman being non-sexual needs CLARIFICATION in his eyes. meanwhile the men and women I know are like "ah yes me and my friends who i think are such interesting people." and there's no guarantee of sexual connotation there. Granted, i'm a lonely little virgin too who used to be unsocial, but I don't think I've ever thought of men in this light? Is it that I'm bisexual? i dunno. it's so strange to me.

also uh i'll leave you with this amazing line (tw:rape):

""I think you deserve some love," she said. "I had a dream about you. I opened your chest like a cabinet, it had doors, and when I opened the doors I saw all kinds of soft things inside you--teddy bears, tiny fuzzy animals, all these soft, cuddly things. Then I had a dream about this other man. He walked up to me and handed me some pieces of paper. He was a writer. I took the pieces of paper and looked at them. And the pieces of paper had cancer. His writing had cancer. I go by my dreams. You deserve some love." We kissed again. "Listen," she said, "after you stick that thing inside me, pull it out just before you come. O.K.?" "I understand." I climbed on top of her. It was good. It was something happening, something real, and with a girl 20 years younger than I was and really, after all, beautiful. I did about 10 strokes--and came inside of her."

i don't like catering to this sort of crowd but if you're not going to read all of that - the woman's like omg baby boy you're so lonely 🥺 you need some love. By the way don't get me pregnant pls - and then he's just like, "oh did you want to not have another kid? Sorry but I feel really good right now so I'm just going to risk getting you another pregnancy because you are just a cum dump to me."

like not to go fanfic author on main but - you know the fanfic version of this? It's some guy who's like...wanting to use some other guy but it's like because he's obsessed with that guy specifically. Like, he wants to fuck him, but it's special cause it's him. It's not like...complete disregard it's like "you're going to look so good like this" not JUST "oh it feels better to come inside." like im so serious - fanfiction has this thing where it's like...patriarchal dynamics during sex but never in a way where the "woman" or should i say "bottom" doesn't enjoy every second. i'm sorry if i've disturbed you. i disturb myself. not all fanfiction. sometimes it's not quite so disturbing as rape. it's just...difficult to find. i don't like masturbating to it for that reason.

i feel so disillusioned. i feel like if this is getting published these are the thoughts of so many men. suddenly the pornification of everything makes sense now. it's always been like this huh.

[thegreatwicked]

Holding my stories hostage? Do your arms hurt from reaching so far?

I just need to vent for a minute here, bear with me.

Wow, ok, so yesterday I made a post to one of my writing accounts stating that I was putting writing my longest story to date, on hold to work on other things ie other writing projects due to low interaction/engagement, and for all I know no one is really even reading my stuff, right? I thought that was reasonable. Apparently not! I almost immediately got a DM from a reader who said and I quote:

"People like you are what's wrong with the fanfiction community. You can't just hold your stories hostage until you get your ego stroked."

I was absolutely gobsmacked. Like, I know some people do that and it is a tale as old as time writing vs reviewing or commenting. But at what point is it acceptable to have boundaries? I don't think I was being unreasonable, low engagement might suggest no one cares and while I enjoy writing it, it's just not going to be a top priority, I didn't say 'review/comment or else' I said, I was going to work on other stuff. Not that I would stop writing. I am not entitled to long-winded comments or reviews or glowing reviews but you're also not entitled to my work, sooo.... projecting much? I briefly considered deleting my account on the site but that's not fair in any world, so I decided to delete the comment, knowing it was probably a troll or something, I didn't block them but I also took the notice down and I'm just going to leave it at that for now. I'll update the stories I mentioned when I get the inspiration to do so I guess. It just sucks, yes, you should write your stories for yourself but not everyone is built to simply WRITE outside world be damned, those people are published authors and I admire them for having the patience to wait for reviews of their work. This is also why I have no problem paying $20-30 for a book, because I'm sure that writer has at one point stared at their unfinished manuscript and screamed into the void "I'M A FRAUD!!!" And I believe those people are entitled to financial compensation.

I'm not stopping and I'm not deleting anything but Jesus. It just really took it out of me, like my motivation train is running out of steam amid the silence but now I'm struggling to even want to find the motivation. I just needed to say that out loud. Rant over.