#ok since it's so long i'll tag

[shoyoist]

I’VE BEEN SUMMONED DID I HEAR KARASU?? pls he’s so precious to me 🥺🫶 he’s such a little shit i feel it in my bones. (my fave trope with him is def academic rivals to *wink wonk* more but regardless) you totally have one of those relationships where you just playfully roast each other and purely communicate in jabs. you’d think he actually hates you, but if anyone else talks shit about you he’s quick to brutally cut them down bc “‘m the only one who gets to badmouth you, kay, my sweet little nemesis?” he’d TOTALLY call you shit like that to piss you off i wanna kick him with my mouth. “my precious headache. my loveliest irritation. my most beloved torment.” it’s never your name, only my, my, my and whatever he decided to annoy you with that day. and you’re confused, because you know him in a very specific context due to the nature of your whatever-ship, but you don’t actually know him because you’ve never once had a serious conversation with him ever. and you think it’s time you change that. “if you’re free this weekend, let’s get milkshakes. my treat.” and karasu already has that permanent smirk curving on his mouth. “what’s this, my prettiest groupie? that desperate for company?” “if you keep being an ass i’ll invite someone else on a date.” and for the first time, you’re able to knock that smirk right off his face and render him into a wide-eyed, flustered mess. because he’s like oh. oh. a date. you’re actually serious. and he’s liked you for so long he doesn’t know what to do with himself, or his arms, but he knows he’s blushing profusely and you look all smug, but for once he’ll let it pass because he’s been horrendously and painfully flirting with you for the past year and holy shit you just asked him on a date. he’s a dork underneath all that sass and brains i KNOW HE IS

DIZZY DIZZY DIZZY <3333 guhh you do not know how much i enjoy academic rivals to lovers i eat that shit up so hardd and god with karasu it's even better. when he started calling you things like "my sweetest inconvenience" it started off as a joke. he enjoyed the way your brows knitted together at the sound of his voice, the irritated twist of your lip and he loves when you quip back.

but as it carries on, he realizes that while he's been teasing you through the my, my, my game, he's started to truly desire you for himself. he wants to call you his. you're mine. he wants it. wants it more than anything. imagine a rivals to fwbs plot where after he's realized his feelings, you get heart broken by the person you love, and he makes himself available to you as a vice, to vent out your frustrations on and to help you feel good.

he can handle it, he thinks. he's smart, has control over himself. he'll be fine.

but as he cups your face in his palm, grazing your cheek with his thumb, looking into your tear-filled. discontented eyes as he says, "'m sorry 's how it turned out for ya, my sweet." he stuns himself with the fact that he didnt add any more to it. my sweet.

my sweet what? everything, he thinks later, after you're gone and he's all alone in his bed again. arms crossed behind his head, the sheets bunched up around him smelling of you. you're my sweet everything.

and he wishes so badly for you to feel the same about him. maybe he cant handle it, after all.

[foxaoxarts]

BEE KISS TOMORR- *dead* /j

If anyone wants to watch me drawing this like a little victorian child then the timelapse is below the cut 🤣

(FLICKER WARNING. It's all through out so be careful!👍 )

[herefortheships]

Ok from glimpses of the cancelled BJ goes Hawaiian script, plus clips I've seen from the cartoon, and now the sequel, Betelgeuse and Lydia always seem to have a scene (or scenes; might have been more than one in the cartoon) dancing together, except in the first movie. But all the media that has come after has had them dance together.

So I fully expect another dance scene in the final movie. I think dancing is just part of the characters' aesthetic. 💚

[se7ens-oc-heaven]

And now, time for some oc writing!! Specifically, a self-contained piece for my SwSh oc Rex. I think of this as a sort of brief, non-chronological "timeline" piece for him, showing out-of-context snapshots to sort of give a sense of his main drive in the Legendkeepers story. Hopefully you'll all enjoy, this is my first time doing a format like this but I hope it isn't too confusing!

Context: Rex is my oc who follows the Shield storyline, becoming a champion of Galar and exploring the story and events in the Crown Tundra afterwards. His best friend, Ritsu, is a "Faller" who went missing when they were children, and never came back. This follows Rex and how he handles this disappearance as he gets older.

•••

Rex was eleven years old when he first heard the news that his best friend was reported missing. He was worried, of course. He loved his friend dearly. But, in the way you do when you're eleven, he also felt a sureness of how the world worked in a way that didn't always turn out the way it by all rights should have. 

"Yeah, mum and dad have been losing their minds over it. You'd think the world was ending over here, never mind how Ritsu’s parents have been handling things," Rex said rather blithely to Hop, his neighbor and longtime friend. Ritsu's longtime friend. Hop, perched on the stone wall next to Rex, tilted his head at him, confused. 

"They said Ritsu's gone though, right? That sounds awful serious to me," he countered, concern lacing his expression. Hop, by this point, had gathered the nature of the situation well before Rex did. Rex shrugged, swinging his feet aimlessly, heels battering the old stone wall beneath him. 

"I dunno. I mean, it can't be that bad. His parents are always making a fuss if Ritsu misses so much as snack time, and you know he's aces at building super secret bases. He prolly just made a new one and didn't tell them," Rex explained, hopping off the wall with a muted 'oof'. 

"Hey, maybe next time we go visit, we should ask him if we can sleep over in it! I bet it's so cool no one would ever wanna leave, and that's why no one's seen him yet!" He added excitedly. Hop nodded, eyes brightening, the enthusiasm infectious. 

"Yeah, that'd be awesome!" 

•••

Rex was ten years old when his parents were ready to let him take on his first Pokemon. Rex had been eagerly waiting for the day. Bursting with excitement when they told him the good news. But he asked, as politely as he'd ever asked anything, that he wait a year before getting one. 

"Rex, dear, this is all you've ever talked about for so long! I don't mind, but why the change of heart?" His mother inquired, surprised. 

"I was thinking I want to wait until Ritsu can get his, so we can get ours together and they can be bestest buds just like we are!" Rex beamed. His parents exchanged fond, if somewhat anxious glances. 

"I don't have a problem with it," his dad chimed in. 

"But... Ritsu may not even want a pokemon. You know how he gets around them," he added carefully, watching his son for his response. Rex, unphased, shook his head. 

"It'll be fine! He'd feel loads better if he had one looking out for him, I know he would! And so'd his parents! I bet if they quit nagging him so much they'd all learn pokemon can be really cool too!" 

"Rex! That's no way to speak about them!" His mother scolded him with a huff. Rex merely gave a cheeky shrug. 

"It's true though!" 

•••

Rex was fifteen years old when he decided to take on the gym challenge. His parents protested his decision, but he didn't care. He was tired of them getting on his case all the time anymore. Always the same thing, nag nag nag. Ever since Ritsu had disappeared, both his mum and dad had gone insane about keeping track of Rex, holding him accountable at all times. Rex was fed up with it. 

"Ready to go, Miki?" He whispered to his Charmander, sitting on the bedroom sill next to him. Miki wagged her tail, the embers flickering in a mesmerizing fashion in the early dawn light. 

"Char!" She squeaked eagerly. Rex shushed her, brushing a fingertip down her nose gently as a tactile reminder. He grinned down at the charmander in her little red bow. 

"Alright. Let's go then, before we wake mum and dad," he murmured, gesturing with a free arm. Miki took the cue, hopping onto his shoulders, clinging for all she was worth. Rex took a final look down the wall, and - judging it clear - hauled himself down the side, keeping a solid hold on the windowsill now above him. He felt around for good footholds, inching his way down. Normally he'd have no qualms about just dropping right down into the bush below, full force. But he had to be quiet. 

Miki whimpered slightly as Rex slid a little, missing what he thought had been a good ledge. She clung tighter as he fumbled around, adjusting his handholds once he felt his legs were stable. Rex took another look down. Should be good enough, right? 

"Hold on, Miki," he whispered, and with a push he launched himself off the wall, landing on his feet below just in front of the bush. The momentum carried him into a kneel, and he rammed his knees down into the grass with a pained grunt. Oh, he'd be feeling that one later. But that was later, and this was now. And right now, he had to go meet with Hop. 

"Whew.... Alright," Rex muttered to himself, shaking off the lingering pain from his graceless landing. 

"Let's go!" 

It would be several hours before his parents discovered what happened. Rex would be long gone for Wedgehurst by then, and fresh off of what would be his first of many legendary encounters.  

•••

Rex was sixteen years old as he stared down death for the first real time. As he placed himself between Leon and Hop, the latter crying for the former to wake up, pull himself together, Death stared down at the scene before it with a blank apathy. Rex glowered up at the unfeeling hand just waiting to scoop them all up within its chilling grasp. He didn't care what it thought it was, it was out of line! 

The creature - Eternatus, presumably - thundered a hollow, alien cry, and Rex readied his pokeballs. It'd have to kill him and his team before it could get to Hop and Leon. 

•••

Rex was still sixteen years old as he tackled the chairman to the floor of the power plant. He'd never cared much for the man and his glib manner of speaking, but it had never been personal. Before now, that is. 

Now? He wanted nothing more dearly than to make the older man pay for what he did. For endangering his pokemon. For endangering Leon. For endangering Hop, and nearly putting him through another loss. For nearly putting Rex through another loss. 

Well. Rex almost wanted nothing more dearly than to make the older man pay.  

Rex was sixteen years old as the other adults hauled him off of the beaten and battered chairman, voices blending together into a thick stew of concern and shock, worry and admonishment. 

Rex was sixteen years old as he was escorted from the Hammerlocke gym, into a throng of cameras and microphones pushing and shoving greedily towards him, ready to feed. 

Rex was sixteen years old as articles scrutinizing him flew off the press and as news reporters used his name as they would that of a storm in the daily weather report. 

Rex was sixteen years old, a hero of Galar. A public figure.

Rex was sixteen years old when he became the Champion.

Rex was sixteen years old. 

•••

Rex was twelve years old, nearly thirteen, when he attended his best friend's funeral. He didn't understand why. Ritsu was still missing. Not dead. 

According to the adults, it was because there were no leads, no sign of Ritsu anywhere at any point, and so they had to assume the worst. Well, then the adults hadn't looked hard enough! That wasn't Ritsu's fault if they were bollocks at searches. They shouldn't have been giving up on him just for that. 

Rex stood amid a mass of black, holding his baby charmander close to his chest. That shouldn't be out, someone had scolded, put it back in its pokeball. 

No, Rex had said, standing firm. Miki has just as much right to be here as anyone. She wasn't hurting anything.

The adults continued to shoot him looks for the orange bundle in his black-clad arms. He let them. 

Miki had been there for him through all of this. She didn't deserve to be cooped up in some ball just because the others thought she was lesser. 

At least Hop understood. Over half of the times that Rex had looked up to see a disapproving glare sent his way, he also saw Hop giving them a hard stare of his own, inching himself in the middle of the line of sight. Rex would give an appreciative smile and Hop would hit him with a small grin of his own. 

"You don't have to handle this alone", it seemed to say. 

•••

Rex was sixteen years old as he stood next to his best friend Hop, in the midst of a panicked evacuation from the Darkest Day heralding the end of the world.

“Aaaagh, shit. How are we going to find Leon in this mess?” Hop bounced on the balls of his feet anxiously, trying to crane his neck to see past the people flooding out of the building. 

“Stay calm. If there’s one thing I’ve learned researching about Ritsu, it’s-”

“Oh, drop it about Ritsu for one damned second!” Hop swore. Rex faltered, startled. Around them, alarms blared and a cacophony of voices swarmed in all directions around them. 

Rex stared back at Hop, brows furrowed in a question he was too speechless to ask. Hop waved his arm in a sweeping motion towards everything. 

“Now’s not the time! Just look at this! We have to focus on the now, on saving my brother!”

Rex found himself protesting without fully meaning to.

“Well, yeah, obviously. I wasn’t saying otherwise. I was jus-”

“No, I know! But it’s not the same! It’s not! The same!” Hop interrupted, voice raising.

 “My bro’s still alive! Ritsu’s dead! He’s been dead, and I’ve let it go all this time that you keep blithering on about bringing him back or whatever, but now’s not the time!”

Rex fell still. Hop glared him down for a moment before it was clear no one was going to make a move otherwise. 

“Ugh, screw this! I’m going to go find Leon! Or the chairman. Or. Something!” Hop scoffed, whirling on his heel and running off into the amorphous cloud of people.

Rex hesitated. 

He had to go help too. 

His feet felt welded to the floor. 

Rex was sixteen years old as he stood, lost and alone in a crowd of people fleeing the end of the world. 

•••

Rex was sixteen, going on seventeen years old, as the wind blustered around him, stealing his heat from his bones. He paid it little mind, all attention trained on the pokemon before him, its absurdly large head bobbing around in front of him. Chief Peony likewise bobbed in the air, suspended with telekinesis Rex had wagered, expression almost peaceful as words were spoken through him. 

"I am Calyrex. I am the one known as the King of Bountiful Harvests. I have borrowed this man's body in order to thank you in person...so to speak."

The wind was surely stealing Peony's heat away. He hoped the chief could hold out a little longer. 

•••

“Hold out just a little bit longer, Ritsu.”

Rex was eleven years old, nearly twelve, as he muttered this into his palm. He sat sullenly in his room, staring out the window, grounded for the third time that month for trying to take a train - and then ultimately, a plane - to Hoenn all by himself. 

He was tired of waiting for the adults to get off their arses and find his friend! It was obvious he needed to take matters into his own hands! Not that his parents listened to a word he’d say. What would they know? 

Dejectedly, he flipped through the pages of a worn comic book issue with one hand, disinterested in the panels and words he’d read over a dozen times by now. Only one speech bubble happened to catch his eye by chance as the pages scattered past, a shout bubble belonging to a desperate hero.

“Hold out a little bit longer.”

It was a phrase used often enough, especially in his favorite comics. Seriously enough. Ritsu was fine, Rex knew he was. But it felt appropriate, somehow, to apply it to the situation. 

Hold out a little bit longer. 

Rex was eleven years old, nearly twelve, when a knock on the door distracted him from a troubling line of thinking. 

•••

“Hold on there, Rex,” Rex’s mum had laughed gaily, keying the number into the rotom phone. Rex, twelve years old, sat shoulder to shoulder with Hop, bouncing his knee in impatience as the egg before him glowed gently. 

“But dad’s going to miss it!” Rex whined. 

“He’ll still get to meet the baby pokemon that’s come out of it,” Leon reassured over the speaker. Rex had insisted everyone be present, even if it meant Hop called his brother while Rex’s mum tried - and failed - to reach his dad. 

“It’s supposed to be a charmander, right?” Hop asked his brother. 

“Could be.” 

Rex startled from his pout, and his head whipped to the phone in Hop’s lap. 

“You said it was an egg from your charizard, guaranteed!”

“I mean, who can really tell with eggs?” Leon laughed. Rex had just about wound up a retort when a telltale crack sound snapped in front of him. All eyes trained on the source. 

The egg was hatching. 

Everyone watched, spellbound, as the egg broke open in a blaze of light. A little orange lizard sprawled out from the broken shell, stretching with a tiny squeak of effort, before large aquamarine eyes turned up curiously towards Rex. 

“Hullo there,” Rex whispered, leaning closer to the tiny charmander. 

“Want to be my friend?”

•••

Rex was twenty five years old as he stood, uncertainly, in Eterna forest, an aged flute clutched in both hands. Beside him, Miki, his charizard and most faithful companion, leaned down to huff at the instrument. Rex chuckled, and stroked at her muzzle soothingly. 

“Yeah, I hear ya. ‘S now or never, huh?” 

At his other side, Calyrex nodded sagely. 

“It’s time, Rex,” they confirmed. Rex took a deep breath in. And out. Then, holding the time flute up to his lips, he began to play. 

The trio heard a noise akin to if glitter were a sound, and a delighted laugh chimed across the forest. Rex opened his eyes to see Celebi, hovering in front of him expectantly. 

“Calyrex?” Rex prompted, still nervous. Calyrex nodded. 

“Celebi is ready,” they affirmed. Rex nodded, a smile starting to spread across his lips as it sank in. 

He’d done it. 

He’d finally be bringing Ritsu home. 

Rex was twenty-five years old as he looked Celebi in the eye and said,

“Let’s do it, then. Take me back to Hisui.”

[queen0fm0nsterz]

I think the way the Lady and the Thin Man became a lot more enjoyable to me as a duo when I stopped believing Six to be the Lady needs to be studied in a lab

[svtskneecaps]

thank you for bearing with my purgatory posting and i'm also glad to see i'm not the only one who still has this fungus eating away at my brain matter. seeing other purgatory posting in the tag makes me feel better lmfao.

i'm not done btw, posting will (probably) continue as i revisit vods. wanted to extend a thanks in the interim, since i know how contentious the event was in the moment. i kinda thought the general consensus was most people hated thinking about it, but there's been a weird amount of engagement and yknow other people talking. makes me happy to know i'm not alone here!

[farrenlux]

choose ur healer medic?

[cat-of-starlight]

tfw you are trying to Limbus Pull but the game's only Bonus Units™ are the ones that freak you out/irritate you lmao whoops

[mwagneto]

the fucking DAYS I've been having and will continue to have. literally non stop emotional rollercoaster good lord. like i knew wednesday morning - friday evening would be insane but holy SHIT I've aged like 3 years in the past 2 days and im not even through the worst of it. and i have to do all of it on basically 0 sleep

[portokali]

here's another tag game cause @pinknoisemp3 is a real one and tagged me to share 9 books i wanna read in 2023!! it's a game ive been tagged in before so pls don't take offense i never did it when you tagged me, i always meant to 🙏🙏

tagging some besties i talk abt books w but no pressure! @quillsand @soupbi @pherelpis @mousmoula @catboypranparakulisaro @darkside-cookies @byrons @teabox and anyone else who wants to!

[wheucto]

[spacedlexi]

and what the more nuanced opinions about s*yloy?

censoring the ship name 💀 ive been trying to avoid all the post-burning shores drama that seems to be happening in the horizon fandom... ive seen some Nasty stuff getting thrown around and im not just talking about the usual gamer-homophobes (those im unfortunately used to by now)

i think overall theyre cute!! their relationship in this dlc is about how aloy is Truly evolving to accept people into her life on a Deep and Personal level. and i am NOT saying that she doesnt also care deeply for her current cast of friends (i think she might even have Feelings for some of them shes not letting herself be aware of (and im talking since ZD)). but its established in forbidden west that aloy has trouble connecting to people on that deep level, and she more often slips off into the night on her own than choosing to stick by them long term. she cares for them, she'll always help them, but something seems to keep scaring her off

the end of the dlc has aloy saying the idea of a home and tribe has always scared her since she grew up so disconnected from the nora. her development throughout FW (although i had issues with the writing and pacing of it) is about her putting down those walls and Truly letting people into her life. and seyka, being so similar to herself in so many ways yet having a positive relationship with her tribe, is kind of the perfect storm for this new aloy. her feelings are new and clumsy and she stumbles over herself. she doesnt always seem as cool and collected as she usually is and it sometimes seems to even throw her off. its cute!

i dont necessarily have any problem with Them. my problems more so were related to the execution of the writing and pacing of the dlc as a whole. and those problems stem back to the writing and pacing problems ive had since forbidden west... they just kinda got caught in the crossfire a bit (as did some of the FW companions when i first played through but have since warmed up to more). i went back and rewatched my friends stream of it and i found myself less frustrated than i was when we first went through it, but there were still a few moments here and there (between them and in the overarching plot in general) that just made me go 🤨 the execution was messy or weak or strange at times but again thats not just a dlc problem for me. i can at least appreciate the intention of what they were Trying to do with aloy and seyka. and as a plus they hit a number of tropes i really like

i think what bothered me more was the way guerrilla marketed her? its weird because they boasted about how "special and unique" she was when i feel she shares a lot of qualities that aloys other companions also have (down to c-cast characters like ikrie and nakoa). like.. i LIKE all of these characters for these similar qualities! it was just weirdly disrespectful to their own cast? i dont think that was their intention but it was... interesting

especially since i believe this experience with seyka is Massively important for aloy moving forward in regards to her relationships. aloy at the end of the dlc after her time with seyka is Completely Ready to accept what her idea of "home" is, and she realizes thats the connections shes made with the people around her. i really hope seyka gets to escape the dlc and join up with the cast in Horizon 3 (i was already disappointed when ikrie didnt make a reappearance). but since the dlc ended in flashpoints where you could accept or reject her, i Definitely believe this implementation will return in Horizon 3 with our cast of companions (not every aloy chose to kiss seyka so some aloys are returning to base single (but seemingly ready to mingle)). in the past when these flashpoints have come up (like with avad in both ZD and FW) aloy always seems resistant in some way even if you Do choose the heart option. but seyka is evidence that aloy really IS ready for that level of commitment post-BS. and since these are still choices tied to flashpoints, your aloy can do whatever she wants! the point is that regardless of any romance, shes ready to accept her friends as her Tribe

[lusalemaart]

art dump continued

[youremyonlyhope]

I really should know better than to watch dumb romcoms while I'm 90% sure I'm ovulating.

This time it was Netflix's Love in the Villa trying to make me cry.

[mathmusicreading]

Blog(ger) Shift

I am, so weird and bad about original posting and about reblogging and about saving things on Tumblr and that's why my blog has been mostly inactive or the lurking consumer type. But I don't want my fears about putting myself out there, being seen and known, articulating myself well vs. having been told my whole life I'm too wordy and opinionated vs. not managing to articulate myself well enough to justify being verbose and passionate, etc. to continue to control me so much.

So for my new specific-interest sideblog that I'm not locking, I hope it being themed will help me with making more original posts and reblogging, and I'm publicizing that here to push myself and also welcome interaction.

RIP to my other public specific-interest sideblog and the fandom sideblog I took over for someone that I didn't take further and to my private sideblogs that were meant to make me reblog and save and say stuff because they would be personal and just for me. I still would like to make those happen and reblogging and posting things that matter to me here, and oh my heart for the content ideas I haven't been working on, but they're pipedreams with how I'm (not) managing my life and I keep kicking those cans down the road.

To the person who I developed a real relationship with as a beta but who by now I probably count as having disappeared on with how long it's been and my not coming back to explicitly say I still can't help and don't know when I can, I am so sorry. I'm being a coward languishing in hoping I can tell you soon that I can get back into beta-ing for you and talking, but that's turned into me not talking to you because I'm waiting to be able to say something positive. Hopefully my vaguing here can help push me into talking to you, or at least this is here for you to read if you happen to see it; and I want you to know you absolutely can talk to me, can call me out, and if you're so gracious as to still want to be friends with me and just chat despite my dropping being your beta, I'm here for you and still want to be your friend even if I don't know if I'll have the spoons to be a good one and I know my saying that preemptively isn't apology or justification enough.

Honest assessment, I'm going to curse and say my living situation and work have both become even more of a shitshow, and with those things in mind I can't begin to imagine handling a real project until basically literally a year from now.

Which segues back into the main topic of this post. My goal isn't to have my new sideblog be like an active mainblog nor to abandon this blog—people interested in that blog can and should still interact with me here given how primary vs. secondary blogs on Tumblr work, and in terms of using that blog to help make me be a better Tumblr user, I think I should make certain original posts here and reblog them there as opposed to them being original there. With my mental-emotional and time resources, I want that blog to be "active" for a given definition of active, but really I think I should see my objective as "clear out tabs and likes and photos and lists and notes and drafts, etc. from the last four months" by saving stuff there, as opposed to my goal being the original posts I want to make there, and actually my long-term goal should be to use that momentum to do the same for older digital and physical storage that hasn't been lost or stolen. In my failure to be an interesting person, do I at least manage to be fascinating as a basket-case? Ha. But, also, as expressed above the Read More, the exercise of my danmei/Chinese sideblog is supposed to be a foray into me allowing myself to be an interesting person.

[sgkjd]

psych institutions should be awarded for being the most unfriendly places for nd and mentally ill folk. funnily enough. do they not know what demographic uses their services?