#ok rethinking even though i say it's not in there it is it's very much one of those things you dont realize is like something carrying

[thedevotionaltour]

none of this writing has charming soap opera drama appeal i feel like im reading bad wattpad fanfic turned novel drama instead.

[jackchampiongf13]

“One hell of a Women.”

Word Count: 1.0k

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x fem!reader

Summary: Y/n has gone through lots of trauma in one lifetime. She gets mad at her one and only true love for risking his life in battle even though they aren’t even together yet.

A/n: I am seriously sorry for not posting anything for like weeks but school has been kicking my ass. Thank you so much for the support on my last post I love you all sm!! Also ik I said I would only ever write for Jack but I feel back into my obsession rabbit hole with Neteyam so I thought why not write a series(maybe depending how I feel) on it. Love you all❤️❤️😝🦃

————————————————————————— From a young age you were very mature. You were always silly, but oh so wise. When you were 4 your mother was killed by your father. You had witnessed this gruesome attack but still held deep love for your father. This made you stronger and a mighty warrior. In the village many people knew this, including Jake Sully.

Your mother came from the same background as Jake Sully. Making you very close to his children. Your mother had come with Jake and Norm and ended up falling in love with a Navi. This man turned against you and your own mother after being bribed by Miles Quaritch to have everything he has ever wanted. But he had to kill his mate. And you, but you survived which he did not know of. Thinking he erased his entire past he moved on and helped Miles with his plan to kill Jake Sully.

Since you had no one anymore Jake gladly stood up to care for you and convinced his mate Neytiri, who also was happy to be there for you because of how close the two were.

—————————————————————————

“You fucking dumbass!” You shouted. No shouted is not good enough to describe how loud you were being. “What you thought that was ok to do? Lo’ak you are a stupid moron who does not take orders!” You flick his head making him jump back out from being surprised in pain.

“I- look I’m sorry I jus-“ he starts to get out but you flick his head again. “Listen to me. You don’t get to say sorry or say anything!” You start to go off on him but then his brother jumps in “Look Y/n this is my fault it’s ok let’s just go back ok?” Neteyam says in a tempting voice making you want to listen. “You too! You say no you don’t egg him on you idiot. I mean god I know he doesn’t listen but jesus drag him by his ear!” Lo’aks ears go down as he can’t even look you in the eyes, but Neteyam can. And he is. Making you almost stop. But you can’t.

“I’m older than the both of you! I get to yell at the both of you for being idiots. 1, Lo’ak are you kidding me? You get to have a role in the battle but you always need more! Fucking more? 2, your father, YOUR CLAN LEADER gave you a role to follow but what do you do instead? You don’t listen! I don’t care if he’s your father and you don’t care if you get in trouble by him but I do! I’m in charge of your asses out there and if either of you get hurt I get shit for months.” Neteyam starts to smirk while looking at the both of you. He’s thinking Lo’ak deserves this big ass lecture.

“AND YOU! Don’t even start to smirk. Say no! No Lo’ak! I will not let you mess up everything and HARM so many other people because you are selfish!” You yell pushing your finger into his beautifully chiseled chest. He stands there listening respectfully like the gentleman he is. “Guys I’m sorry but what were you thinking?! You could have hurt yourself Lo’ak! You could have killed your brother too! And I know I’m this moment it may not seem like it but I love you both so deeply and don’t want to see you get hurt.”

They both smile at you and you roll your eyes and walk off pissed. But god so heavily in love with Neteyam.

“I don’t understand what you see in that women Neteyam.” Lo’ak says while looking at his brother watch you walk away.

“She’s one hell of a women and it does stuff to me” Lo’ak frowns.

“Get a room freak.” Neteyam frowns at this comment but can’t help just rethink everything thay just happened and smile the slightest bit.

—————————————————————————

Hours later you are in your tent just laying on your cot. You start to feel sorry and want to go apologize realizing you were way to harsh. Especially on Neteyam. It’s not like he can control his crazy brother.

Before you even know it your legs are taking you to your crushes tent. You begin to walk slowly but your heart begins to beat faster so you pick up your pace just to get this over with.

“Nete are you here?” You know hoping he’s not. “Yes come in!” He shouts back. Oh shit.

Walk in and smile and he smiles back. He looks into your gorgeous eyes but you quickly look away to much of a coward to look at him.

“What’s up? You’re not one to apologize you are way to stubborn.” You giggle knowing this is very true. “I know but I can’t help but not say sorry. I was being very selfish back there. I know Lo’ak never listens you couldn’t do anything about him.” You start to fiddle with your fingers but he stops you and makes you look him in the eyes. “Look love it’s ok I thought it was funny you going off on him. He totally deserved that and now he’s scared of you.” you laugh again.

“I am sorry Nete it was so rude of me.” He takes your hand in his “Love stop apologizing.” Your cheeks betray you and start to blush hard for the second time at the nickname.

“Nete, I-“ suddenly a scream is heard and next thing you know your running towards the mysterious noise.

[angelfleurry]

hii! id like to ask a nagito x fem! ultimate hope! reader, if thats ok??! thanks for the attention!! <3

♡ Nagito X Fem!! Ultimate Hope!! Reader: ♡

Thank you so much for requesting, Anon! I just LOVE writing for Nagito honestly. I’m not the most perfect at it, but something about his particular character makes it really fun to write for! I just did little headcanons if that’s okay! I wrote it assuming it was light-hearted, but if you wanted something more serious I can!!

That being said, I really hope you like it! Have a wonderful day, my love, and feel free to request again whenever!

~

♡ You really do live up to the title!!

♡ You’re so determined it’s incredible.

♡ Whatever you set your mind on, it will be done. You don’t quit, you don’t give up.

♡ Most of all, you encourage others to continue alongside your own journey.

♡ That inspired Nagito so very much.

♡ As the Ultimate Hope, there was no falsity in the fact that you had gone through some intense events within your life. Whatever the nature of these events, you always seemed to rise above them in some way, never letting it affect your hope.

♡ In fact, living through these events only seemed to strengthen your hope.

♡ You often felt a little silly being within Hope’s Peak. You didn’t see how your talent could compare to the rest of the student body.

♡ But when a certain Ultimate Lucky Student started gravitating towards you, you had to rethink that opinion.

♡ It was a little confusing at first, what with him suddenly seeming to devote himself entirely to you, but you came to find a friend in him.

♡ Slowly, you too had begun to devote yourself to him.

♡ Eventually, it became more than a friend you’d found.

♡ You made a point to compliment and praise Nagito whenever you could.

♡ Something about his bewildered reactions amused you, but they also do come from your heart.

♡ You knew Nagito held a rather…degrading view towards himself, and sometimes it could be incredibly difficult to break him out of it.

♡ While aware you could not magically change his self-view, you were determined to make him feel as loved as possible.

♡ And, needless to say, you did that wonderfully!

♡ It didn’t even have to be direct words of affection, once Nagito would be met with your smiling face and a sweet welcome; he’d be in a frenzy.

♡ He didn’t understand - he couldn’t understand - why him?!

♡ What he did understand, however, was that he was completely and utterly undeserving of you.

♡ You were everything he admired, everything he wanted to embody, everything good he craved in the world.

♡ You were so incredible, so determined, so very kind…

♡ And, you were devoting yourself to him. *Him*, of all people!!

♡ He couldn’t comprehend it; what were you doing?!

♡ Still, though, it was working.

♡ Slowly, but surely, he was becoming aware that you intended to stay, and that you genuinely loved him for who he was; flaws and all.

♡ He adored you, and made sure that the act of giving affection didn’t just fall upon you.

♡ Words of affirmation were an incredibly important part of your relationship, both from you to him and him to you.

♡ You were everything to him; there was nobody else he treasured more.

♡ He just couldn’t understand how he was the same to you.

♡ He sung your praises constantly, regardless as to whether or not you were around. The praise in question would be about literally anything; your talent, you as an individual, the outfit you chose to wear - you name it.

♡ He is very poetic in the way he talks about you.

♡ Cuddles are a definite must between the two of you. It took a while, with Nagito being hesitant under the belief of him tarring your perfection, but you slowly managed to get him comfortable with it.

♡ Nagito appreciates the verbal affection you give him, but something about the physical affection you give sends him spiralling.

♡ He won’t say it, but he ADORES it when you lean into him desperate to be held.

♡ He feels you wrap your arms around him, feels your head against him, and he’s a GONER. Any source of oxygen he previously had is gone.

♡ He himself doesn’t tend to initiate physical contact though. He still feels like he needs to keep a distance from you, for your own protection from his luck, but it’s not as if he doesn’t enjoy the contact you give him. He loves it, even.

♡ But then, at the same time, there are moments where Nagito has a weird surge in confidence.

♡ He’ll reach you first, keeping you close, before then apologising and reverting.

♡ It’s confusing, and you try to encourage him to just do what he wants.

♡ He’ll just a give a light hum at that.

♡ Nagito loves listening to stories about your life. It doesn’t matter if he’s heard them all, he will be listening again, and he loves it.

♡ He loves hearing about the event that made you become the Ultimate Hope, but he also loves hearing little things as well. Anything about you, anything at all, he’ll whole-heartedly listen.

♡ You two can often be found curled up reading books together. It can be your own individual tastes, or you’ll both have a copy of the same book.

♡ The silence isn’t awkward, it’s rather calming. Nagito appreciates that you can be in his company without needing much communication. It brings him some reassurance about the nature of his luck.

♡ Sometimes you’ll go to the river and read, which is always so lovely. The birds and the gentle gushing sounds of the water always bring such a charm to the activity.

♡ You have this selection of perfume and scented body scrubs that you rotate on a monthly basis and he ADORES IT.

♡ He just thinks it’s so precious how you find joy in pampering yourself, and the gorgeous scents are always welcomed.

♡ In fact, you’ve offered some of your stuff to him before, and he loves the designs of the products. He finds them so beautiful.

♡ Certain scents just remind him of you now.

♡ He’s a darling when you’re on your period.

♡ He’s a little hesitant, unsure of whether or not he’s being patronising, but he tries to envision himself in your situation and is just so great at making sure you’re comfortable; even if you know how to live with it.

♡ To him, you’re so very dear, and he wants you to be happy.

♡ That ties in to the physical affection once again. You’ve both shared kisses on a few occasions, and everytime he finds himself questioning why you, the Ultimate Hope herself, are willing to partake in such intimacy with him.

♡ He worries he’s going to do something wrong, or that his luck will play up, or that you’ll grow tired of him and leave, but…

♡ Once your lips meet his, his mind kind of clouds over.

♡ You’re so delicate as he holds you close, butterflies kicking his stomach from all angles, fingers gently caressing the ends of your hair.

♡ Even just little, quick, kisses are everything to him. When you kiss his hand, or peck his forehead, or even plant one upon his nose, he’s smitten every time.

♡ You’ve fallen asleep whilst with him a few times, and every time he always stops to gaze at you in awe.

♡ “So peaceful..” he’d whisper, breath hitching, a soft fuzziness in his chest, “So…perfect.”

♡ He just likes to watch.

♡ He’s fallen asleep as well, and sometimes awakens to you playing with his hair.

♡ You do that when he’s awake as well, gently brushing through it and just fluffing it around.

♡ He just adores and appreciates you whole-heartedly. You really are his hope, his light, and he would do anything for you.

♡ He would die for you, self-inflicted or not.

♡ But, just having you there with him will do.

♡ He likes that a lot.

[indigosabyss]

not to go on another crossover brainrot. but consider. dr stone x jujutsu kaisen crossover, w the base premise of ryuusui and kento being cousins.

ikik nanami is a very common surname. but they also both have blond hair, brown(-ish) eyes, and pale skin. Nanami (Kento; sorry im more used to calling him Nanami 😭) also thinks a lot about money once he quits being a sorcerer. Which is obvs meant to talk about real world issues, but also would be in line with Nanami upbringing.

ok this got way longer than i thought, so read more for a major yap session.

Kento is also a really disciplined guy, which fits into the ideals of what the Nanami household wanted Ryuusui to be. Makes him fit perfectly into the Dr Stone world. (also we know ryuusui canonically has a bunch of cousins/siblings he doesn't talk about at all so there's precedent for the family connection too)

On the flipside, Ryuusui has learnt, through real world experience, that he can get anything he wants with enough hard work and money to pave the way. Except jujutsu sorcery. He'll never be capable of that, no matter how much he wants it.

In my mind, the two universes first intersect when Ryuusui sneaks into Jujutsu Tech to see Kento, some time in the guy's second year. Since both universes use the real world calendar, its easy to pinpoint Ryuusui as being eight years younger than Kento.

Nanami Conglomerate isn't a Jujutsu clan. They really are just a regular rich-ass family company, who had a sorcerer randomly. There's some discussion about that. A lot of "damn, nanami's loaded??? why tf can't he get a better hairstylist then" type of shenaniganry.

[Side plot: At that point, Ryuusui isn't the heir at all. (I think if you refuse to let your child into family photographs out of shame, then you are not leaving a trillion-yen company to him) so there's going to be some politicking about on Francois' end to make him heir, with the two cutting a deal for Francois to be his main assistant in everything if they get it done.]

Kento and Ryuusui's relationship is strained, bc Kento has been raised to keep his distance from the black sheep of the family - even tho all Ryuusui has done so far is mess around with the stock market a little bit, so Kento doesn't really get it and talks to him anyway sometimes.

To Ryuusui, however, Kento is like his third-favorite person. (First is Sai, second is Francois) bc his 7-3 ratio technique is very useful for model building and this boy has a talent for sniffing out gifts he can exploit.

So anyway, Sai is off being tutored in economics, moving up several grade levels above his age, and Ryuusui was stuck at the Naval Academy, so he sneaks out to get to Kento, who does not speak about his school and is understandably confused when Ryuusui sneaks in and is discovered by the students.

Gojo in particular is entertained bc at that age he hasn't interacted with many young children before, and he is considering adopting the Fushiguro kid, so he kinda wants to see what he's getting himself into.

Ryuusui is having the time of his life. Everyone treats him so nice! They listen to his stories about his regular life. And then have to take Nanami to the side and break it to him that the entire family was kind of purposefully neglecting these two kids. Which makes him rethink some things about his life and the structures he upholds.

Ryuusui really wants to be a sorcerer. But he can't. So of course he finds an S-tier scientist who may or may not be called Ishigami Senku to science out a solution for him.

Francois - even though I love them with my heart and soul - will also be non-sorcerer here. But armed with cursed tools to defend Ryuusui in case something goes bad on his adventures.

And on top of all that, in the horizon, there looms a Special Grade curse, almost primordial in its age and strength, capable of affecting the entire world in one fell swoop. The Medusa.

[samthetrekkie]

I actually liked this one less than the first one, even though it's much more popular. I also felt like they had a lot less budget than for the one before.

one of the things I really liked though, was that dr marcus was not a love interest and kirk even left saavik alone. I really love this new version of kirk (even though canonically he would've been with this antonia woman from generations at that time). it's almost as if one particular relationship made him rethink things…

there were some quite nice spirk-y scenes in the sense that they were very flirty the whole time imo, but in general not a lot of scenes between spock and kirk alone. but here are a few that were definitely something: spock giving kirk his birthday present and "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times - message, spock?". insert kirk smirk here. then in spocks quarters, his throaty "jim" that I cannot see in a friendship way since the turbolift scene in and the children shall lead anymore (even though it was much less throaty this time) and then saying "I have been and always shall be yours". and in both these scenes spock implicates that he regrets kirk took the promotion and went back to earth, which is also the reason they are not spending time together anymore. this can be interpreted as friends, but it wouldn't be me if I didn't see it in a different light. to me, they seem like two people who have broken up amicably a while ago (as opposed to the motion picture where they seemed like they had had a messy breakup). like they were just in different places in their lives but still don't want to close that door for good. spock also seems pretty open with his emotions in their private moments in this movie. and you know we love lowkey smirking spock :)) later spock's "be safe captain" - "yes WE will make sure to be safe". and of course kirk kicking several lower deckers away to get to dying spock. so in the end, there was quite a bit!

only the death scene was a bit lackluster to me. I know people love this scene, but somehow it didn't touch me like I thought it would. it felt like the actors knew spock was gonna return in the next movie and it was not too well written imo. it also makes no sense to me why saavik (a vulcan!) cried at spocks funeral but everyone else was pretty ok. I mean kirk choked back a few tears but in general his reaction was pretty tame. it would've been more kirk like (and to my liking) to smash everything. you know, like he did almost every time he lost a random woman he had just met... in general, I didn't fully understand why spock was sacrificing himself in the first place, in the sense that I have no idea what he actually did in the chamber.

to end on a positive note though, I enjoyed the concept as well as some scenes, to me it just could've been better executed as a whole.

[wenwenbittercake]

Cherry of my Eyes🍒

Chapter 1: Worst Mistake 🍒🍒

(So in this fanfic, I can’t find who’s the Norman’s daughter is so we will just call her Evelyn. TW: death and kidnapping. Other than that, I hope you enjoy it.)

It was a horrible Idea. Your life flips upside down the moment you decide to make a silly decision that isn’t even worth the price you have to pay. It was a chilly night in January. Cindy, your best friend since high school, came up with a plan to hook you up with a date. Her idea of getting a date is going to a frat party, getting booze up and make up. You’ve never had experience with dating, let alone booze and frat parties so you rethink the decision. But again you trust Cindy, she has always been there for you even though your live styles were oil and water. She is a rich girl from the suburbs where you are raised by a middle class family. Still, Cindy had never discriminated against you for your differences. This led you to amuse the idea of going to that very frat party.

Cindy’s plan was a disaster. Every guy she hooked you up with has 0 interest in what you are saying and obviously not looking for a relationship. You may have no experience in dating but you do know when a guy only sees you as something to fuck with. So, you decided to wait near the pool for Cindy to be done with her partying. A few minutes later, Cindy came out angry. She stormed towards you, wobbling in her way as she’s obviously drunk.

“We are leaving.” She said as she grabbed my arms and pulled me out of the party.

Her so-called boyfriend looked disheveled with lipstick marks all over his face, clearly not Cindy’s color.

“That bitch of a guy, I can’t believe he would cheat on me, let alone with a BLONDE.” She steps on her gas hard.

She steps on her gas hard. Causing a roaring engine noise. Now you are scared. She doesn’t look to be in the right mind to drive. She’s drunk and angry, not a good choice to drive.

“Cindy, don’t you think we should just call the cab? I mean your drunk and-“

“Can you just shut up (Y/N)! I got this!”

She recklessly sped through the street. Your heart is stuck on your throat with your hand gripping on the seat for dear life. Cindy continues to rant about her boyfriend but that is the last thing you are worried about. The speed she’s going with is fast enough to run over a deer without stopping. Just as the thought goes through your mind, Cindy swerves to the right, running into a tree on the sidewalk. Your body didn’t inflict much damage thanks to the seatbelt but the glass shards had cut your forehead, leaving a hot sensation. Did she hit something?

Your got out of the car in a hurry. You walk slowly in front of the car not ready for the sight you were about to witness. A girl in a yellow dress lay on the sidewalk, her head bloody and her leg seems to be broken. You ran to the girl, flipping her on her back and you were hit with a realization. Cindy hit Evelyn.

Evelyn is a girl you know in your crocheting class. You decided to join the class just to put your mind off your home life. She is a friendly girl, she’s shy but bubbly if you know her. However, she’s not so bright in the craft as you needed to help her outside of classes. That’s how you guys bonded. You guys are quite similar to each other. You both share similar interests in a lot of things. You even consider her to be your best friend. However, you guys stopped contacting me after you went to college. But this is not how you want to reunite with Evelyn again.

“Evelyn? EVELYN! Cindy calls the ambulance!”

“Call the ambulance? Are you insane?! We are going to go to jail.”

“But she’s going to bleed to death, hurry!”

You grip her head, the area where blood was dripping to stop the bleeding.

“Ok OK wait.” Cindy ran back into the car to call the ambulance.

You hold Evelyn in your arms, your hands are shaking like crazy and your breath rapid. You hold her in your arms to give some comfort in the pain. Then you hear the barks of a dog. You look around and see an old man standing with his dog. He runs towards Evelyn and checks her injuries.

“Oh, my baby. What have you done?!” You were shaken by his hoarse voice.

He took Evelyn in his arms and cried. Uttering Nos and pleads for her to stay. You can help but feel guilty even though it wasn’t you who was driving recklessly.

“W-we called the ambulance; she might make it.” You manage to say something through your sobs.

“Did you do this?” He said in a low and threatening tone. Your heart caught your throat.

“IS THIS YOUR DOING?” He yells this time, looking straight into you.

You can’t see his face due to the dimly lit street lights but you can imagine the anger by his voice. Cindy snapped me out of my fear, she dragged me away from the scene,

“We need to go, Now.”

“TELL ME DID YOU DO THIS?”

“I’m sorry, I-I am really sorry.” You utter whispers of sorrys as Cindy drags you back into her car.

We drive off fast leaving the scene, Your body soaks in the blood of Evelyn. You are sure no matter how hard you try to wash them off, the blood will still stain your hands.

It’s been weeks since Evelyn’s death. There was a trail for her murder and Cindy was found not guilty. Not only that, Cindy’s parents paid a large sum of money to your parents to cover up Evelyn’s murder. You both haven’t talked since that night. You never want to talk to her again knowing the truth. You felt sorry for the old man, Evelyn’s father. You know the type of bond they both share over the months of being friends with Evelyn. And now you felt guilty for partly taking that bond away. You spent your days in your room, the media was all around your house, asking for answers only you and Cindy know. Finally when the media dies down about the case, you finally have the courage to step out of your house again.

You decided to go back to college catching up with your studies, but school didn’t feel like it used to be anymore. Cindy was nowhere to be found but all the student’s eyes and whispers followed you through the day.

You walk back home feeling broken down, you walk don’t the street wrap in your own thoughts not realizing the footsteps behind you. When you finally realized it, it was too late. A cloth covers your face, the smell of chloroform hits your nose, your vision blur and you fall into a deep sleep.

Please tell me if u enjoy it I am planning to write more but I am unsure if I should or not. Sorry if there's grammar mistakes. Hope u enjoyed reading it. 🍒✨🍒✨🍒✨🍒✨🍒✨🍒✨🍒✨🍒✨🍒✨🍒

[marveloustimestwo]

Hi, are you ok? Hope so.

I was happy to see your requests open, because I wanted to ask you if you can do a sequel to Yandere Mother!Natasha. With her being super protective, and Reader calling her Mama as a joke, but Natasha taking it seriously kind of "I'm glad you know, now obey me" vibes

Also: The story is not TAG "natasha Romanoff x reader", so some people couldn't see the first part, which is a shame since the story is very good (:

Hello, anon! I'm doing okay. Thanks for asking :) Very busy as of late, but okay. How are you?

And thank you for informing me of the tag. I generally don't tag my writing as "x reader" or without "yandere" being in it solely because I don't want it to get into the non-yandere part of Tumblr. I know some people really don't like seeing yandere stuff. They have issues with it for one reason or another, and I try to respect that and take precautions. I don't want to make people uncomfortable or get any rude messages just because it ended up in the wrong place, so I just stick with tagging it as "yandere such and such".

I'm okay with not as many people seeing it if it means I avoid any drama and unkindness on my blog.

Considering you asked for a sequel to the other one, I'll continue to write her as a vampire like I did in that one.

I see Natasha, both as a vampire and in general, landing on the stricter side of the spectrum when it comes to taking care of her darling.

She doesn't mess around when it comes to your health, safety, and happiness. When she starts to see herself as a sort of parent to you, she takes it very seriously.

Like, you are her child. It doesn't matter that she didn't birth you herself, or that you're an adult by human standards. You're her kid, and no one is going to convince her otherwise.

So it's very easy for her to start acting like a mother to you, and you'll start to notice it quickly.

Like how she never lets you pay for a meal when you're with her. You're starting to feel a bit indebted now, though she always insists otherwise.

Or how she'd ask you to hang out at her apartment. At the start, it'll seem like just a sleepover. It won't be too bad until she's inviting you over more and more.

Then she isn't letting you cook dinner or clean, and you tried to excuse it by thinking Natasha just wants to be a good friend and host.

But you're starting to miss your own bed. It seems like you're only at your apartment once a week now. Sure, Natasha talks about her home is your home and all that, but she couldn't possibly be as serious as she sounds.

One day as you're about to leave for work, Natasha starts talking about letting her drive you. She's always tried to do so and even went as far as to start packing your lunches, too.

As she talks about how much safer it would be for you to have someone pick you up and drop you off, you can't help but roll your eyes a bit and say something along the lines of:

"Fine, mom, I'm sure you know what's best."

You meant it as a complete joke, only trying to poke some fun at her increasingly mothering nature. Instead of laughing, Natasha just deadpans at you.

"I'm happy we both agree. Now let's go, otherwise, you'll be late."

For the rest of the day, you honestly assume she was also joking with you. After all, her humor can be dry and sarcastic.

Except when she picks you up after your shift ends, you find yourself rethinking that notion.

Most times Natasha asks if you want to come over to her place and gives you the option to stay at your own home. This time she doesn't.

You try to give her some credit. Maybe since you left her house for work, she assumed that you would want to stay the night again.

Once you get there, you find it hard to say no to her as she insists on making you dinner after a hard day of work.

But as you try to leave, you'll find that Natasha isn't so keen on letting you do that.

What you meant to be a joke, Natasha instead takes very seriously.

For her, you had accepted your role as her child. Now any resistance will be taken as you just being a bit childish, as children often can be.

You may still work and sometimes go out on your own, but don't get any ideas.

Running away will only result in her hunting you down, and telling anyone about your situation will result in more deaths than you'd like.

For Natasha, protecting you from someone she thinks is taking you away always gives her a good meal, too.

[newtthetranswriter]

Hi I was wondering if you could do a match up for Tokyo rev, Fairytail and jujutsu kaisen.

im a very paranoid person, I always rethink things over and over, I have really bad social anxiety, I like editing, drawing, I write a few fanfics on wattpad here and there.

I tend to get turned off really easily, I don’t mean sexually! I mean like I could be really good friends with someone and all it takes is for them to say one mean thing to me and i automatically dislike them, this doesn’t go for family though! Or close friends that I have known for 10+ years.

I have an ed, so I have trouble eating, I also am Autistic so I get annoyed very easily and over stimulated, I’m quite a frigid person, I don’t like hugging, but I don’t complain if someone hugs me.

I’m also very shy, I have trouble opening up to people and trusting them, I’m 18 and very weird, I also vape but idk if that’s important.

I love your writing btw!

A/n: Hello and thank you, I’m glad you enjoy my writing. I hope you enjoy this and have a great day. I hope it’s okay I mentioned them trying to help with your ed, if not just let me know and I can edit that part out. Anyway, enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate.

Tokyo Revengers: Ken ‘Draken’ Ryuguji

He doesn’t pressure you to do anything that could cause anxiety, don’t want to go out today, okay let’s stay here and watch a movie

Draken isn’t a very touchy person so not hugging isn’t a big deal, he just enjoys being around you

He’s also a frigid person so most people wonder how you ended up together but it’s simple, you understand each other

Tries to keep you out of over stimulating situations, like crowded malls or hell if a toman meeting caused a panic attack once he’ll constantly reassure you that you don’t have to go

We all know he’s close with Mikey but if y’all are out and about and Mikey gets too crazy over dumbshit he’ll just leave

Ken just wants you to be comfortable, also you being around lets him leave when Mikey is having a tantrum cause he’s gotta make sure you’re ok first

As for your ed, he does what he can to help, be it offering you foods he know you like or even just asking every day if you ate

He won’t force you to eat, but really wants to make sure you are getting some kind of calorie intake, even if it’s just a tea or coffee from the vending machine, it may not be food but at least it’s a little bit

He just wants you to know he supports you and when you are ready he will help in whatever way he can

Fairy Tail:  Gray Fullbuster

Gray is fine just relaxing in quiet spot and watching you draw or write

He would also stop fighting Natsu as much when you’re around just so you don’t have to deal with the noise

He also doesn’t mind that you aren’t a fan of hugs, he’s more of a I’m fine just being around you kinda guy

Gray also won’t pressure you to eat, suggests something every now and then but understands that it can be hard so let’s you move at your own pace

If he senses you’re overstimulated he will do whatever he can to either help you calm down or get you away from the stresser

Even though he’s part of team Natsu he will try and take some missions that just the two of you can handle so you can have a break from the ruckus of the guild hall

Jujutsu Kaisen:  Megumi Fushiguro

Megumi is the kinda a guy who will just sit and relax and if you happen to be in the same space cool

Doesn’t force you to deal with anything you don’t want to, such as yuji or gojo being obnoxious, he will tell them to leave if they’re bugging you

Asks you about things you’re working on, how's that new drawing going, or what are you editing today

He also tends to be cold so you not opening up quickly isn’t a big deal for him, take your time he’s there for you

Megumi will make sure you’re eating, not in a pushy way but more of ‘did you eat today’ if you say no he helps you pick something small and if you say yes he drops the subject 

He doesn’t want you to feel pressured to get help, he’ll suggest it but he’s aware how hard admitting when you need help can be

[chiimeramanticore]

Part of the Band - Chapter 19 - The Beast

Chapter summary: Dook and Beach Bear visit the family. Dook tries a new food. Beach Bear confronts his past. A/N:

this chapter's title has a double meaning- it's a metaphor for beach bear's family, and also a metaphor for how fucking hard it was to get this chapter out (and also a metaphor for how LONG IT IS??? 5K WORDS???????) i haven't updated in a while, so i missed the actual anniversary, but potb has officially been ongoing for a year! what a ride it's been lol. i've definitely changed and improved as a writer since i started, and i'm very happy to not only have a work that you can really see me grow through, but also to have one that has had such a nice response to it! i wouldn't have written nearly as much of this fic as i have if i didn't have people reading and commenting on it. if you've enjoyed any part of this fic (and god I hope you do if you've made it to chapter 19) thank you, from the bottom of my heart! this has been my favorite thing to make for the RAE fandom (but don't tell the video essay fans that lmao) OK ACTUAL TRIGGER WARNING TIME FOR THE CHAPTER this whole chapter is about beach bear's transphobic ass family! i mentioned it in the last chapter but they are going to consistently deadname and misgender him, and also just generally be kinda shitty parents and people. part of the reason this chapter is so long is bc i wanted to condense it all into one big thing so you could just skip the one chapter! this chapter isn't the end of this arc, but probably the end of all the uncomfortable shit lol. we also touch on dook's drinking issues a little in this one, so if any of this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to skip! you won't miss anything vital this time, i promise uhhhh i think thats everything? thanks! enjoy the chapter!

Chapter word count: 5,051 <- Chapter 18 - Chapter 20 -> Read it on AO3!

"Hey, Beach Bear," Dook says, staring out the car window.

"What's up?" Beach Bear replies.

"You said the other day you, like, uh... You took medicine, to become a dude, right?" Dook asks.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Beach Bear says. "I still take it. You've never noticed?"

Dook shakes his head. "What happens if you stop?"

"You go back," Beach Bear says. "In some regards, at least."

"Hmm." Dook slouches in his seat a bit. "So you gotta take it forever?"

"Long as I wanna stay looking like a dude, yeah," Beach Bear chuckles. "I dunno if too much would change if I stopped now, though. There's a lotta permanent stuff, too. I got a whole surgery and everything."

"Surgery?"

"Yeah, to–" he gestures vaguely at his chest, not taking his eyes off the road. "Y'know, get rid of the extra weight."

"I don't get it," Dook says.

"Agh, nevermind."

Dook stares at Beach Bear's chest. "...Hey, do you have to get your name changed, like in a court n' all?" He asks.

"Dook, I'm tryin' to drive."

Dook stares harder at his chest. He doesn't see the issue. It just looks like a guy's chest.

Oh, wait.

"What'd they do with your extra stuff after you got them removed?" He asks.

"Dook, I–" Beach Bear starts, then pauses. "I don't know, actually."

They sit quietly for a minute, both pondering the possible outcomes. Dook doesn't dedicate too much energy toward it, eventually spacing out once again on the long road ahead of them. They've been driving through the same monotonous scenery for hours now. Tall grassland... trees... a house every mile or so... It's farmland, but god if it isn't boring. There's not even any radio signal out here.

"...Beach Bear?" He pipes up.

"Yeah?"

"What're your parents like?"

"Uh..." Beach Bear trails off, thinking. "I dunno how to put it. They're... they're real pleasant, y'know? Outwardly, at least. They put on a real good face."

"How are they with you?" Dook asks.

"They're... I dunno. They're not bad. They're fine parents. They're just... They've got opinions, y'know? Very strong ones. And no amount of talking to them could ever convince them to rethink any of those opinions. They think they know everything." A hint of spite seeps into his voice at the last sentence.

"Mmh. I think I know the feelin'," Dook says. "They think they know everythin' about you, better than yourself, right?"

"Yeah," Beach Bear says. "It's– It's frustrating." He's holding his tongue, for some reason. "It's rough."

"Sounds rough." Dook says.

"And they live in this big McMansion, too," Beach Bear continues. "They act like they've got it made. They act like they're right about everything. They act like they know better than you, and don't you dare try to have a different opinion, 'cause–" He catches himself. "...'Cause... Whatever."

If Beach Bear's already getting worked up at the thought of his parents, he can't imagine what it's going to be like when they're actually there. "You gonna be okay?" Dook asks.

"Yeah," Beach Bear says, sighing. "I'll be fine. It's just a weekend."

After some seemingly endless length of time driving past the fields and farms, they finally arrive at Beach Bear's parents' house. He wasn't lying when he said they lived in a McMansion. The house is vast, with a white brick front and pale red roofing. The shapes of the roofing could be considered abstract art in itself– square, pyramid, conical, square, triangle... It almost looks like the house is trying to grow smaller houses out of it. Dook stares in awe as they get out of the car, Beach Bear's parents awaiting them on the porch.

"Beatrice!" His mother calls, rushing to embrace him. She's slender, with sandy, almost brown fur. Dook almost wouldn't guess she was a polar bear. She's done her face up almost excessively with makeup, and she hikes up her pink dress a bit to reach Beach Bear. She's still a bit shorter than him, though, and stands on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Beach Bear chuckles. "Hi, Mom," he says, hugging her back. "How've you been?" Dook watches her fuss over him, and Beach Bear taking it completely fine. It's like everything he said about not liking them before never happened.

"You're still driving this wreck, kid?" His father says, also moving from his position on the porch to greet them.

"It's the only car I've got, Dad," Beach Bear says. "We're still fixing it from the wreck."

"That's what I mean," he says. "Why keep it? Better to get something new by this point, anyway."

"Ah, that's... I guess it just didn't occur to me," Beach Bear says. Dook knows that's a lie. Why not explain his reasoning?

"And you," his mother says, turning to Dook. "You must be Dook, then?"

"Y- Yeah," Dook says. He holds out a hand. "Dook Larue. Nice to meet ya." Beach Bear's father grips it first, way too tightly.

"Good to meet you too," he says. "Name's Beau."

His mother shakes Dook's hand next. "And I'm Betty," she adds. "We're very happy to have you here, Dook."

Beau is a towering man– taller than both Betty and Beach Bear, and much taller than Dook. Here he was thinking Beach Bear was tall... Beau has gray fur, a strong face, and an equally strong build. Even for someone starting to get up there in age, he's shockingly strong-looking. Dook feels like less of a man, stood next to him. He pats Dook's back– or at least, Dook assumes that's what he meant to do. It's really more of a slap, and it makes Dook near jump out of his skin.

"Well, no point in keeping us all out here," he says. "Let's get you two unpacked."

The group takes their bags from the car and heads inside. The house somehow seems even bigger on the inside– tile flooring, two staircases on either side of the living room, and a fireplace below the TV, propped up onto the wall. Dook continues to feel smaller.

From the top of the left staircase, a ferret pops her head around the corner, waving down toward them.

"Mr. Baxter! The bedroom is finished being cleaned!" She calls.

"Thank you, Margaret," Beau calls back up to her. "Could you take their bags?" Margaret is already on her way down the stairs before he even asks. She moves quickly and smoothly, like she's refined housekeeping down to a formula. She takes their bags, acknowledging the two of them with a nod, before leaving just as quickly as she came.

"You have a maid?" Dook says.

Betty laughs. "Please, don't be ridiculous! Margaret is a housekeeper, not a maid. A maid would live here."

Dook doesn't see much difference between the two. He glances toward Beach Bear for guidance, who doesn't look back.

"Dinner is still cooking," Beau says. "In the meantime, why don't we sit and chat?" He moves toward the couch. Beach Bear and Dook follow, and Betty wanders off upstairs. Beach Bear sits next to his father, and Dook chooses to sit in the chair across from the couch.

"So, Dook," Beau starts. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, uh–" He wasn't really expecting this. "I, ah. I'm Dook, I'm a drummer, I'm from New Orleans–"

"Lousiana?" Beau asks.

"Y- yeah."

"It's a beautiful state," he says. "Do you speak any French?"

"Ah– No," Dook says. "I know some Spanish, though."

"What led to that?" Beau asks.

"Well, I had to choose which language I wanted to take in school, and I couldn't pronounce the French letters," Dook says candidly. Beau laughs.

"Dad considers himself something of a polyglot," Beach Bear explains. "He gets real excited about it."

"Quite excited," Beau says. Dook isn't sure if he's emphasizing the point, or correcting Beach Bear on his grammar. "Still, Dook, me alegro de conocer a otro hablante de español. ¿No es así?"

"Uhh." Dook doesn't speak this much Spanish. "S- Sí. Muy bien," he says.

"Oh, Beatrice!" Betty calls, quickly going down the stairs toward them. In her arms, three books. "I was in your bedroom, just double-checking Margaret's work– not that I don't think she did a good job, of course, I just like to make sure, since you can never be too careful with these things, y'know– it's so important in situations like these when you've got someone important over and–"

"Damn it, Betty, spit it out," Beau says.

"You'll never guess what I found!" Betty finishes, dropping down the books onto the coffee table between the four of them. They're photo albums.

"Oh, god," Beach Bear says. "Mom, no."

"Why not?" Betty says. "If you and Dook are going steady, he's part of the family now. And if he's going to be part of the family, he should see our family memories. Besides, you've been missing long enough that it's started to feel like these pictures are all I had of you! You might need a refresher yourself, y'know."

"Alright, alright." Beach Bear picks up a book and opens it to a random page. "These are, like, exclusively baby pictures of me," he complains.

"What's wrong with that?" She replies, snatching the book from him. "Anyway–" She sits down next to Dook, flipping back to the first page. "–Here's our Baby Bear when we first brought her home from the hospital–"

"Mom," Beach Bear says.

"Would you quit your complaining?" Betty says.

"I don't think Dook wants to see my baby pictures," he says.

"Dook, do you have any issue with looking at our family memories?" Betty asks Dook.

Dook looks between the two of them, unsure who he should appeal to. Beach Bear would hate it if this continued, but probably wouldn't be too angry at Dook himself. Betty might be angry if they didn't continue, and he doesn't know her well enough to determine how bad it'd be. And... well, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious to see the pictures, too. He shakes his head no.

"See?" Betty says. Beach Bear sighs, but doesn't protest further. He stands from the couch.

"I'm going to the bathroom," he says.

"That's not very becoming language!" Betty calls after him.

"I'm going to powder my nose!" Beach Bear calls back, already halfway to the bathroom.

Betty sighs. "Children," she says to Dook. She flips the page. "Oh, this is her first day of preschool!"

·–—–·

Dook sits at the dinner table, staring down at the array of utensils laid out in front of him. They'd already been served soup, and Dook had to watch which spoon everyone else picked up first. It's silent in the room other than the sound of their own eating, making the whole room feel uncomfortable. At least he's managing. He glances at Beach Bear, sitting across the table from him. His expression is unreadable. Dook hopes he's holding up okay.

"Mr. Baxter," Margaret says, poking her head through the door to the dining room. "Dinner is ready."

"It's early, Margaret, isn't it?" Beau glances at the clock on the wall. "We're still on the first course."

"Yes, sir, but... the meal has been finished for a while now," Margaret protests meekly.

"We're still on the first course," he says again, gesturing to the soup bowl in front of him.

"O- of course, sir, but the meal will get cold if–"

"Margaret–"

"Beau," Betty says, her tone much gentler than his has become. She puts a hand gingerly on his arm. "Margaret, thank you. Please bring in the meal now."

Margaret nods, and disappears behind the door again.

"...Tense dinner," Beach Bear offers.

Both Betty and Beau sigh, but don't answer past that.

It's a moment more of silence before Margaret reappears, pushing a cart of food. Dook immediately recognizes the scent of seafood, but can't place the smell exactly. Margaret places plates in front of everyone at the table. It's an incredibly dark meat, with mushroom and rice on the side.

"Is this...?"

"Seal," Betty says. "It's a delicacy among polar bears... and Beatrice's favorite." She smiles at Beach Bear.

"Yeah," Beach Bear adds. "I haven't had it in ages."

"Dook, you've never had it?" Beau asks. Dook shakes his head, and Beau laughs. "You're in for a treat, then."

Margaret approaches Dook again, with a bottle of wine in hand. She gestures for his glass so she can pour the drink. Dook hesitates. He hasn't had any alcohol since... since his 'incident,' causing this whole mess. He's not sure if having anything to drink tonight is exactly a smart idea.

"I, uh, I really shouldn't," he says quietly to her.

"Don't be ridiculous," Beau says. "You're a guest, have something to drink."

Dook glances toward Beach Bear.

"You wouldn't want to deny their hospitality... honey," he says somewhat awkwardly. Dook had almost forgotten they're meant to be a couple.

"R– right," he says. "I guess I can have a glass, then." He passes his glass to Margaret, who fills it with the dark red liquid. Dook can't deny the little surge of excitement he gets when he sees it pour out of the bottle. What a pretty color.

"So, Dook," Betty says, "tell me about you."

"Well, I–"

"He speaks Spanish," Beau says. "Did you know that?"

"No," Betty says, enthused. "What a cultured young man. How did you meet Beatrice?"

Dook freezes at the question. He knows how they met, but he also knows they'd hate the answer. He hadn't prepared any better of a story.

"We met at a social thing," Beach Bear cuts in. "Remember that youth group thing I mentioned to you on the phone?" Betty nods. "Dook's a counselor for a group a bracket below mine. We had a counselors-only get-together situation, and we met there." He takes a bite of his food. "Very family-friendly."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Beau says. Then, "Dook, I wasn't aware you worked with children."

Dook wasn't aware, either. "I'm... very humble," he says. He stares down at his plate. He didn't even realize seal was a thing anyone ate. It's dark red, almost black. His nose is telling him otherwise, but... he takes a bite. It's unlike anything he's ever had before– and he's unsure if that's a good thing or not. Far too fishy for his taste, he knows. But he know he needs to keep up appearances, so he can't stop eating entirely. Instead, he takes a sip of his wine. It's good– sweet, and not too dry. Dook starts taking bigger sips.

"Mmh," Beau grumbles. "Did you see that story on the news this morning? I swear, they need to bring back actual reporting. This whole thing with–"

"Beau, honey," Betty says. "Not at dinner."

Beau grumbles again, trying to find another topic to discuss. "...Tax season's coming up."

No one knows how to respond– the table falls quiet. Dook finds his glass empty already. He puts it down on the table, picking more at his meal. It only takes a few more nibbles at the meat for Margaret to return with the bottle, offering him more. Who is he to deny their hospitality?

"This is really good," he says to no one in particular as he drinks more.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're enjoying the meal," Betty says. Dook blinks, looking down at his barely-touched plate.

"Right," he says.

The dinner continues in bouts of silence for a while longer– spurts of uncomfortable conversation sandwiched by quiet portions of just eating and drinking. Dook makes his way through about half the plate and a third glass of wine. By then, he's not quite paying attention to the conversations happening around him, more listening idly as he feels that familiar pleasant fuzz come over him.

"So, ah. Mom, Dad, how have things been?" Beach Bear says, if only to break another stretch of silence. "Since I was last here, and all."

"...We redid the game room," Betty says.

Dook's ears perk up. "Game room?"

"Oh, yeah," Beach Bear says. "You'd like it, Dook. We should play a game after this."

"Okay," Dook says, smiling for possibly the first time since they got here. He glances toward Margaret– who moves to open a second bottle.

"And you?" Beau asks, not looking up from his plate. "What have you gotten up to since you stopped talking to us?"

"...Well, uh... Dook and I have been, uh, putting together a band," Beach Bear says.

"Don't tell me you're still doing that music crap," Beau says.

"Beau," Betty says.

"No," he says, "No, this is just ridiculous. If she were a musician, a real one playing real music, I'd understand. But this– this 'rock and roll' thing? There's no class!"

"Dad, I–"

"Is this what you left us for?" He says.

"That's not why!" Dook snaps.

"Dook!" Beach Bear says sharply. "Don't... Don't get involved."

"I... Okay," he says. Beach Bear's right– he's being impulsive. Dook looks to his glass, just in time to see Margaret fill it up again. A wash of shame comes over him. He keeps drinking.

"I don't know what I expected from you," Beau continues. "What did I want? Change? After all this time of you missing?"

"Beau, I think you've had too much wine, honey," Betty tries.

He ignores her. "What did I expect, maturity? Class? Respectability? From you?"

Beach Bear clenches his jaw, but doesn't say anything.

"What other little 'phases' of yours are you not over?" Beau interrogates, standing from his chair and leaning over the table toward Beach Bear. "I swear to God, if I find out you've still been smoking pot, I'll–"

"You'll what?" Beach Bear says. "Disown me?"

Beau opens his mouth to retort, but nothing comes out. Everyone at the table knows Beach Bear is already basically estranged. He sits down.

"...Your voice sounds different," he mutters.

Beach Bear stabs his fork into a mushroom. "I'm still working at the music store, Mom."

Betty laughs, sharp and nervous. "That's– that's great, honey," she says. She stands with her plate. Margaret hurries to take it from her, and only then does Betty seem to remember she's here.

"Excuse me," she says, before hurriedly leaving the room.

·–—–·

"Beach Bear," Dook says.

"I know, it's not what you expected," Beach Bear says.

"Beach Bear."

"Look, I'll teach you how to play, alright? Don't worry about it."

"Beach Bear."

"What?"

"I'm, uh..." Dook shifts awkwardly, the plush carpeting of the game room under his feet making him feel somewhat unsteady. "I'm sorry. About dinner."

"Why?" Beach Bear asks. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"You–" He's still buzzed, which isn't helping him find the right words. "You got mad at me."

Beach Bear sighs. "I'm not mad at you, man. I'm– I'm sorry I snapped at you then. I got stressed, 'cause I thought you were gonna say something about..." His eyes flash to the doorway for a second. "...y'know."

"...I almost did," Dook says.

"But you didn't," Beach Bear tells him. "That's what matters." He stands from the bench they're sitting on. "How are you doing?"

"How am I...?" Dook doesn't understand the question.

"Well, for starters, you were kinda getting through dinner on wine," Beach Bear says. "And I know dinner was... I know my family's..." He makes a sour face, not finishing the sentence.

"I know," Dook says.

"They're... usually better than that. Especially with guests."

"It's been a long time since they saw you," Dook says. "It's– it makes sense if they're, y'know. What's the word?"

"Harboring some emotions?" Beach Bear responds, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Yeah," Dook says, "it's all pent up n' all."

"I guess." Beach Bear doesn't seem happy with the answer, but it's not like there's a better answer out there.

"At least we leave tomorrow," Dook offers.

"Yeah," Beach Bear says. He moves over to Dook's left, toward the billiards table. "You still want me to teach you how to play?"

Dook stands. "Yeah. Show me."

Beach Bear hands Dook a cue before putting all the balls into place. Dook holds it somewhat awkwardly, unsure of the right positioning before settling on holding it horizontally with both hands. Beach Bear finishes setting up the game, resting the stick vertically at his side, and Dook quickly corrects. Beach Bear snickers.

"I'll start," he says. "The goal of the game is to get all of your balls into the holes on the sides of the table. You can only hit the white ball, which has to knock the other balls into the holes. If you get the white ball in the hole, you lose a turn and I get to put it wherever I want. If you get the black 8 ball in the hole before you've done everything else, you automatically lose."

"Which balls are mine?" Dook asks.

"There's the solid color ones and the striped ones– whoever gets one in first gets to claim that type." Beach Bear lines up his cue, hits the white ball, and the group of colored balls scatter. A red striped one lands in a corner pocket. "Looks like I'm stripes. If you get a ball in, you get to go again."

"Sounds like you're makin' up the rules as you go," Dook says. Beach Bear laughs. He lines up again, and hits a green striped ball– which bounces off the edge of a pocket and doesn't go in.

"Your turn, big shot," he says.

Dook assesses the table. There's a solid yellow ball near a pocket, but he's not sure how to actually get it in there. He approaches the white ball, trying to mimic the pose he saw Beach Bear in. After a moment, he hits the ball– or, at least, tries to. His cue is unsteady, and it cants upwards, barely skimming the top of the ball. It rolls forward about an inch.

"You can retry if you want," Beach Bear tells him. Dook moves the ball back to where it started, trying again. This time, he's a bit more powerful, and while he still hits the side of the ball, it moves. It bounces off the wall of the table and lands gracefully in a pocket.

"Damn," he mutters. Beach Bear chuckles, retrieving it from the bottom of the table.

"Looks like I get to go twice again," he teases, placing it back on the table near one of his balls. But his confidence gets the better of him, and he manages to both miss the ball he was going for and land the white one in a pocket again. "Alright, well. Never said I was good at this game."

Dook laughs, taking the ball from him. He isn't sure where to place it, so he just puts it down near one of his balls. "How do you–?" He tries to line up the cue again, still not comfortable with the position.

"Here," Beach Bear says, "lemme show you."

Beach Bear moves behind Dook, wrapping his arms around him to help him into position. His size makes this no issue– he easily reaches Dook's hands and helps him adjust his grip on the cue. He's not fully behind him, slightly off to his left, but Dook can't ignore how it feels to have Beach Bear's whole body lean into him like this. He's so big, and warm, and soft... his fur, while covered by his clothes, still makes him feel almost plush to the touch. Dook would give anything to have this feeling last forever.

"Relax," Beach Bear says. "You're too tense with it."

"Ah– right," Dook says, trying to loosen up. It's hard when they're in this position. Beach Bear slides Dook's left hand forward on the cue, lifting it slightly upward to aim straight at the ball. His right hand clasps over Dook's right hand, pulling the cue back...

Dook's ball rolls smoothly into the pocket.

"We did it," Dook murmurs.

"Yeah!" Beach Bear says, finally pulling away. "Nice job, Dook."

"You did the whole thing for me," Dook says.

"I wasn't the one holding the cue." Beach Bear smirks. Dook flushes, and he finds himself thankful for the alcohol. At least it can serve as a cover for getting this flustered.

"You got real close," he says. "If I didn't know no better, I'd say the fake dating thing wasn't an act." He laughs, trying to make it clear he's joking. Is he joking?

Beach Bear doesn't respond to him directly, just gives him a knowing look. "It's your turn again."

Dook swallows, still unconfident in his own skills. "I, uh. I need help still," he says.

Beach Bear smiles. "Can't get enough of me, huh?" He jokes. "Alright, line up for me. I'll correct you."

Dook finds another ball to aim for and lowers himself toward the table again. It is starting to make more sense for him now, it's just a matter of practice. But he'll never refuse Beach Bear leaning over him and guiding his hands again. Jeez. He's not sure if it's his embarrassment or the wine that's making him feel this warm.

"You're already looking better," Beach Bear says from behind– he's not leaning on Dook this time, but he is leaning very close– he's talking quietly right into his ear. His left hand meets Dook's, guiding his aim. They pull back the cue...

"Oh–!" A voice says from the doorway. Dook hits the ball from reflex, and the 8 ball goes tumbling into the pocket. Game over. Betty stands there, quickly averting her eyes. "Goodness. I didn't expect I'd need to knock."

Beach Bear suddenly straightens at the sight of his mother, and Dook follows. "No need to knock," Beach Bear says. "I'm just helping Dook with his aim. He's never played billiards before."

Betty sighs, though the flush on her face is still there. "Of course. I just wanted to let you two know the room is ready, whenever you're ready for bed."

"The room?" Dook asks.

"Yes, your bedroom. Is there an issue?"

The two look at each other. Are they going to be sharing a bedroom? Did both of them forget to factor this in? Beach Bear shakes his head. "No issue here," he says. "Can you– uh– we should go there, now."

"R- right," Dook says.

"Yes," Betty concurs.

The two hastily put their cues back where they got them and follow Betty to the bedroom. Dook spares a quick glance at Beach Bear, and while he can't tell for sure, it looks like he's blushing, too.

They head upstairs and down a hallway– this place really is a mansion. After a few minutes, they finally reach the room. Betty opens the door for them, and the three file inside.

“M– Mom,” Beach Bear says, a dawning look of horror on his face.

The room is very clearly that of a little girl’s. The walls are covered in a pale blue, flowery wallpaper. The bed, while large enough for two adults, is covered in plushes and decorative pillows- a pink striped blanket covers the mattress. The walls are adorned with flower-themed decorations, crayon drawings, and a few band posters.

“You redid the game room, but… not my bedroom?” He asks. “In like, seven years?”

“Why would we?” Betty replies. “We wanted to preserve what was here. We love you, Baby Bear.”

Beach Bear all but winces at hearing that. What exactly are they preserving by keeping this the way it is? This isn’t Beach Bear at all. Whoever used to live in this room… they’re clearly gone, if they ever lived here at all. Dook looks at the way Betty beams at the sight of the room. She’s so wrapped up in protecting her daughter, she hasn’t realized in all this time that she doesn’t have one.

Betty pats Beach Bear on the shoulder. “Goodnight, honey,” she tells him, before leaving the room.

Beach Bear swallows, then sighs. “I’m, uh–”

“It’s okay,” Dook says, smiling shyly at him. “I don’t mind how the room looks.”

“I’m sorry about her, too.”

“Hey.” Dook nudges him in the arm, stopping himself just short of taking his hand. “You didn’t do nothin’ wrong. So you don’t gotta apologize for nothin’.”

Beach Bear smiles faintly. “Yeah,” he says. “We… still have to share a bed, though.”

“We don’t have to,” Dook suggests. “I could…” He eyes a plush looking chair in the corner. “I could sleep there.”

“Nah, I’m not gonna make you do that,” Beach Bear says. “We’ll just rough it.” He chuckles to himself, and approaches the bed. “It’s like camping. You gotta put up with tough shit sometimes, but it’s part of the fun.”

Dook follows him to the bed. “You doin’ okay? With everything that’s happened?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Beach Bear says, but Dook recognizes a twinge of that tired tone in his voice.

“...’Least we leave tomorrow,” Dook says.

Beach Bear smiles, the most genuine smile he’s seen from him all day. “Yeah,” he says. “Hope you don’t mind being my boyfriend until then.”

Dook snickers, climbing onto the bed. “Not if you don’t mind being mine.”

“Take your clothes off, you dweeb,” Beach Bear teases, hitting Dook with a pillow.

“Fine.” Dook pulls his shirt off. Margaret’s left their bags neatly opened by the window. Dook goes over to it and pulls out their pajamas. “I’ve never seen you wear pajamas,” he tells Beach Bear.

“Because I don’t wear pajamas,” he says. “I sleep in my underwear. But my parents would–”

“--hate that,” Dook finishes.

“Exactly. Gimme.” Dook tosses them over before changing into his own.

“Well,” Dook says, rejoining Beach Bear in bed. “One more day?”

“Half a day,” Beach Bear says. “We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah.” Dook gets comfortable under the covers as Beach Bear reaches for the light. Teasing each other about dating is fun and all, but the idea of actually sleeping in the same bed as Beach Bear makes Dook’s heart beat at a mile a minute. He’s a little afraid Beach Bear might actually be able to hear it. But there’s no time to question it– they’re already in bed together.

“Goodnight, ‘babe,’” Beach Bear says as he turns off the light.

Dook’s heart flutters. “Goodnight, honey.”

[sizebrained]

Sam Takes Cob to Their First College Party, Part 3

Sam makes a wardrobe change for the party.

CW: Adult themes & language, drinking, drugs, and suggestive unintentional flirting.

***

Cob sat on Sam's bed munching from a bowl of chips that Sam gave them. But Cob was making their way through it much slower than normal. They were too distracted. Sam's place was a lot smaller than Ben's and it was also a mess. Something about that made Cob feel more comfortable though compared to to the empitness of Ben's place and his modern building overall. Cob sat on Sam's bed comforter that she had tufted up into a makeshift nest for them.

They watched Sam from their spot, while the huge girl was rifling through her closet. Cob was munching because they kept getting distracted. Towering above them, Sam was in a flurry of movement going through her clothes. And she was only in her underwear. Sam didn't seem phased at all when she stripped down. And Cob wasn't about to object.

But they found themselves watching her in rapt amazement rather than focus on the taste of the chips.

Sam looked like she worked out all of the time. Cob wondered why anyone her size would bother.

Cob only ran, climbed, and jumped because being 3 inches tall didn't really give them any other option. Sam chose to do all of that kind of stuff on purpose. It baffled Cob.

Sam grunted in frustration while bending over. She was looking for something specific now that she would have a tiny hitchhiker. It made her rethink her wardrobe.

Sam's clothes were almost all either very baggy or very tight. She spent almost all of her time working out, in classes, or at her part time physical therapy job. "Aha!"

Sam exclaimed in triumph as she pulled a pair of cutoff overalls from somewhere in the messy pile at the bottom of her closet.

She stood back up and turned around facing them. She looked at Cob who was looking away, their face looked red. Sam grimaced inwardly remembering Hazel's lecture. She hadn't even given a second thought to the being in just a sports bra and boy shorts like usual.

Thank god I didn’t feel sexy today...Sam thought remembering she needed to do laundry.

The sports bra felt abnormally tight, she was pretty sure it wasn’t one of hers. But it was the cleanest thing she found, did own it. She put a finger under one side and adjusted it. She needed to clean up too.

Looking down at Cob’s face, Sam thought about what she was wearing when Ben woke her up the other morning saying he needed her to come over.

That would have made their little eyes pop out, Sam thought seeing how Cob stared up at her now. "Sorry about the mess...I've been busy and haven't gotten a chance to clean. But I definitely will if you end up staying more than tonight ok babe?"

Sam said throwing the overalls onto the other side of the bed from Cob and pulling a black sweatshirt on. The overall’s legs were cutoff and it was January.

She might get cold, but she'd rather have a better spot for Cob and risk the chill.

Sam unhooked the straps of the overalls and stepped into them, pulling them on with some struggle. It'd been a while since she'd worn these, the denim felt stiff. Cob gawked. Sam noticed and pushed down her natural urge to play it up for her tiny audience. She clenched her jaw looking down at their swishing tail keeping its own time from side to side.

They're so fucking cute this is going to be hard...She thought. Sam sat down on her knees on the floor in front of Cob, bending down close. "Look, Cob..."

Sam paused trying to figure out how to phrase this without hurting their feelings and not revealing her chat with Hazel.

"I uh...shouldn't have changed in front of you. Sorry. I'll be more...considerate." Sam finally said finishing her sentence. Cob felt like they'd been caught and felt bad.

Too obvious moron...Cob thought. "Oh no no it's ok! This is your place you should feel comfortable. I'm sorry I didn't mean to um..stare. It's just...you're..." Cob paused looking up at Sam's waiting face. Her bright green eyes really stood out against her darker skin. Cob and their sister were so pale from life indoors and walls.

Her hair was a mess and stray strands kept falling on either side framing her face. Cob noticed Sam's lips looked like they were the size of their whole body from one corner to the other.

They looked so soft. They noticed Sam's lips moved, curling inward while she raised her eyebrows expectantly waiting for Cob to finish. "Big...uh...Big..." they finally said.

Sam exhaled with a single short laugh. She reached up and undid her ponytail, shaking it out then pushing her hair back and redoing it.

Cob could smell fruit, it must have been what she put in her hair. Cob wanted some. Sam was talking but Cob was zoned out. Seeing Sam now, they wondered how could they have ever thought she was dangerous. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

Her size just amplified it, filling the space and being everywhere. It was overwhelming at times.

Cob had noticed how concerned Hazel was over Ben, but there was something about the way she looked at him too. It wasn't just like he was a patient.

Did Ben make Hazel feel like this? Suddenly, Cob's thoughts were interrupted by a very loud snapping sound and they covered their ears in pain. Sam frowned, her hand in the air having snapped her fingers trying to get Cob's attention, who wasn't listening to her. "Sorry! Sorry...I won't do that again. But did you hear me?" Sam asked. Cob shook their head their ears still ringing a little, "No sorry what did you say?" Sam held open the front pocket of the overalls with one hand and held out the other one. Her palm was flat and slightly cupped next to Cob on the bed. "I said if you're finished eating, hop in here we're going to go." Sam repeated. "Where?" Cob asked curiously climbing into Sam's hand who gave them a big grin. "A party!"

She said sticking her tongue out between her teeth and raising her eyebrows excitedly. Cob's tail started swishing fast.

*** End Part 3

[terraliensvent]

hey! owner of the species here. (https://www.tumblr.com/terraliensvent/748247327120277504/i-think-theres-a-whole-issue-with-cs-as-a-whole-i?source=share)

i only rehired the devs becaus half of then were not doing anything at all, and the other half were not being very nice to those who werent doing much! also, one dev was making me extremely uncomfortable. I understand how this could come off this way!! but tbh i made this species as a personal project because of terras shutting down, and it kind of hurts to say its going to turn out like the hellhole that is.

Terras is very complicated in terms of drama right now and i feel as though comparing a species that is just starting out and maybe not the greatest to another one that has repetitively made wrongs, angered many members, etc. is a little unfair!

im super sorry if I am rude in any of this, i am trying not to be petty or mean or anything, i am just a little upset that you thought of it this way! its okay though.

i also probably am going to leave terras just because of how it is right now, i was considering just making my species a one off and moving on but I really like ARPG things, and was planning for mostly a non-monetary spending community, and kindness.

sorry this isnt super terra related anon, if its not terra-y enough feel free to ignore!

post related

im gonna be fr anon, you did not need to defend ur species. it wasnt even named so if anything my post wouldnt have really gotten you any negative press

they also sent this ask:

"same anon who replied to this i dunno if its about me but if it is not then sorry if i!!! was like rude or something im very stressed rn"

i think you may be overthinking a little with this one, try to mellow out a bit. i dont think u come off as rude but maybe a bit panicked, maybe rethink if youre ready to handle a responsibility like this? not everyone is right for handling large communities and thats ok

[saesyndrome]

Why are u weird abt ace people. Like in good faith why?

i cant even start to imagine what this is in reference to... but ok ill bite.

i have nothing against asexual or aromantic people. i would probably fall on that spectrum if i didnt personally dislike those labels because my aversion to sex and romance is trauma-based which i dont want to incorporate into my identity. but i totally respect aro and/or ace people who incorporate those labels into their identity.

as far as material reality, i just have much much less in common with a cishet aro or ace person than literally any gay, bi, or trans person on the face of the earth. their lack of attraction in one way or another does not make me automatically feel solidarity with them outside of a very basic "i feel similarly about sex/romance" and that's it. because they do not have the same relationship with their sexuality that a gay person does fundamentally.

i also feel as though in attempting to play devil's advocate by championing for cishet aces, people completely dismiss the experiences of aro or ace gay and trans people. those are the people with whom i DO share many many experiences with on many levels besides just the baseline "im not very interested in sex".

this is a discussion that has been had before, but unfortunately beyond ugly "omg you stupid virgin" which ARE extremely rude and not constructive, the main kinds of "aphobia" are actually misdirected homophobia or misogyny. not to mention the waves of whorephobia/homophobia that some asexual people begin to parrot without any thought of the consequences. all of the topics in THIS paragraph can be expended upon QUITE A BIT but unfortunately i have mono right now and do not have the energy to do so.

again im not sure where this came from but I hope i answered your question decently enough. i will say though that "why are you weird about asexuality" is not a great tone for a "genuine question", so you may want to rethink your approach in the future .

[lvlystars]

seventeen + tamil movies i see them being in

as a tamil carat, this was very self indulgent because i really love imagining seventeen in these movies.

SEUNGCHEOL. - vikram + anjali in imaikkaa nodigal

...if ykyk. i cried watching this movie, and seungcheol reminds me SO MUCH of vikram. totally not being biased bcus i love cheol and this is literally my most favourite movie of all time. but vikram was such a loving husband and was SO READY to be a father (yes he dies, but as if i would let that happen to seungcheol.), and i just know seungcheol would do anything and EVERYTHING for you. he would even give the UNIVERSE for you. he's just so 💔💔

JEONGHAN. - arjun + anu in oh my kadavule

even though the guy was a dick in this movie, at least he actually realized what he was losing...and i see jeonghan being like this tbh. he marries you because of some pact that you made as kids ('we'll marry each other if none of us gets married by 27!') and now you loathe each other. well, actually he loathes being with you but you still love him :(. and when he decides to divorce you, badabing badaboom some guy (possibly named lee chan) that claims he's god makes him time travel back in time to rethink some life decisions, and surprise surprise, jeonghan doesn't marry you, oNLY FOR HIM TO ACTUALLY FALL HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU??? so yeah, i see jeonghan getting a redemption arc for his love life, and he gets the best out of it!

JOSHUA. - aadhi + tara in ok kanmani

i would give my left kidney to meet someone like this. i'm serious. imagine saying 'oh i don't like the idea of marriage, it's so much commitment. how about a live-in relationship?' and then all of a sudden, when you're looking for a lady with alzheimer's, you blurt out 'NO MORE LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIP. MARRY ME RN.' well that's exactly what i see happening with joshua. you guys meet at a friend's wedding, and literally you move in together and just have so much fun, but then when you both have to go abroad for your careers, you guys now only have 10 days left to enjoy which y'all end up wasting because of arguments :/. but don't worry! joshua is not the type to let his person go at any cost >:( (you need to stay with him or else he will take custody of the cat. but you still love him 🫶

JUNHUI. - karthik + dr. shakthi in alai payuthey

i live for train romance, and moon junhui is the perfect man i imagine having a train romance. i live by that. like one day he sees you from across the train station while he's with his friends, and suddenly a day later he's flirting with you on the train while you're just praying none of your relatives sees you with a MAN. and if you thought that was a struggle...well i wish you good luck with hiding this relationship...

HOSHI. - sachein + shalini in sachein

hoshi is the type to be such a playful guy in college that everyone loves and gets along with except for that one person (ahem, YOU) that just seems to HATE HIM because of something he said about you just to TEASE YOU. and when he falls for you, this man is the type to place a bet that he will make you fall for him knowing full well that he will win because this lil shit knows what he's capable of, and when he does, he won't rub it in your face bcus he's mature and BETTER like that (well, he will later).

WONWOO. - aditha + nandini in ponniyin selvan

OH MY GODDDDDDD HISTORICAL ERA WONWOO ALWAYS HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLDDDDD. and the story behind aditha and nandini will never fail to make me so sad. like, the right person wrong time trope is SO STRONG WITH THEIR STORY IT MAKES ME WANNA SKLJFGHKDLJGHFDK. ANYWAYS so yeah y'all fell in love as teenagers, but because of royal blood being tainted by commoner's blood shit kinda ruins y'all's future, you guys are forced apart, only for you to come back as a ruler of the rival kingdom, and married to some old hag...yeah. wonwoo in that role makes me FOLD.

WOOZI. - kamal + nethra in guitar kambi melu nindru (navarasa)

you BEST KNOW THIS MAN IS GETTING THE MUSIC MAN ARC. like, you're a singer, and y'all meet during a recording session. one day, he offers to drop you off, and you guys just talk and realize you guys have a lot in common. soon, y'all date, and you guys have such a great time, and he even writes a song for you, but unfortunately, he had to leave the country to explore his full potential as an artist, and you both had to part :(

MINGYU. - gautham + kundavi in sillunu oru kadhal

arranged marriage au for mingyu just makes sense in the best ways. like, at first you both do not like the marriage at all. you guys don't even spare a single glance at each other at the altar. all of a sudden, 5 years later you guys have a little daughter and y'all are making out on every single counter in the house when the poor kid is at school, completely oblivious. but then one day you find mingyu's old diary that he had back in his college days and you find out about mingyu's 'first wife' that he never got to divorce LMAO.

SEOKMIN. - kutty + geetha in kutty

THIS ANGEL OF A MAN!!!!! you have a boyfriend, but all of a sudden some random guy comes up to you and says 'i love you! :D' and hands you a flower....in front of your boyfriend. at first you keep expressing that you hate him, and you would think 'aw, poor seokmin, he's being rejected so many times :(', but NO!!! with a little bit of psychological warfare and pulling the 'I HAVE KIDS ON MY SIDE' card, you fall head over heels &lt;3

MINGHAO. - mathi + jennifer in cobra

ah, yes. you meet the love of your life by hitting him with your dad's car which you weren't even supposed to take in the first place! don't worry because he fell head over heels for you when he was flipping mid-air, and was even moved to tears when he overheard how distressed you sounded when you found out what had happened to him. you guys start going out together (minus the days his twin attended the school) and eventually y'all start dating (YIPPIEEE), only for you to die in the end (womp womp :/). ok, but all jokes aside, he loved you so much, to the point where he broke off ties with his own twin. all the days he spent with you felt like pure heaven, it felt too good to be true. only for it to actually be too good to be true, that god decided it can't be true anymore, and killed you off!

SEUNGKWAN. - santhosh + kavitha in unakkum enakkum (something something)

modern boy x village girl is such a cute trope i don't think y'all get it. like, when you have to get used to how this london monkey (in the movie, not seungkwan bb) is so annoyingly attractive you just want to punch his pretty little face...lightly...caress it...and hold it....and then slap that smirk off his face! and the way seungkwan would love you so much that he's willing to go any lengths to impress your brother so seungkwan can marry you, including farming and adapting to harsh conditions JUST to prove his love for you &lt;;/3

VERNON. - sathya + hemainika in yennai araindhaal

vernon meeting you the way sathya met hemainika is what i imagine tbh (without y/n dying ofc). like. you being a single parent and y'all start going out together and it's just good times bcus vernon gets along with the kid and you're all just like a cute lil family (pls don't flame me i forgot the plot to this movie...)

DINO. - krishnan + malini in vaaranam aayiram

I AM THE BIGGEST FAN OF MUNDHINAM‼️‼️‼️THAT SONG IS MY LIFE. I WANT THAT TO BE MY THEME SONG!!!!! anyways, back to chan. this couple is THE best love marriage. i always live by this couple. like, chan following you around campus because he is HEAD OVER HEELS for this girl, and he just, serenades and dances for you EVERYWHERE on campus. my guy is DOWN BAD. and you eventually reciprocate the feelings. then you both be all lovey dovey and have your happily ever after!!!! definitely no tragic deaths anywhere!!

taglist 🏷️ —

@wqnwoos @etherealyoungk @amxlia-stars @seuonji @spicyseonghwas @star1117-archives @jaehunnyy @kyeomyun @leo-seonghwa

SVT WORKS

please send me an ask or drop a comment to be added to my general taglist !

ⓒ lvlystars

[kidmachinate]

Privilege & Double Standards

This may be one of the most personal things I share on here with very little to mask with some sort of gaming reference outside of the picture used. Knowing I may have said this before, this likely will be the case more so than the last time I did. Short intro done, let's get into it.

We despise money, even though it is a mere tool. We love having it but then criticize others that also have it. Many times it comes down to how they acquire it. Whether they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. I've always bounced between lower and middle class and have been fortunate enough to never grow up poor. Lots of status being talked about huh? What if I told you this all means nothing?

Knowing people that seem to not understand how to "check their privilege, I find myself caring less about how they got their funds and much more about how they chose to actually use it. They grow up in such a way and therefore must follow a certain narrative on how money is to be used, right? Come out of the box. It's okay. It doesn't have to be that way. Some "poor" people are know are kinder than others I know with plenty of money to toss around, so clearly status isn't the issue and we desperately need to stop treating it as such. While I do find myself guilty as charged as well from time to time saying "man if I had x amount of money" or "must be nice" instead of being happy for someone, I try my best to take my own advice here and think twice. Do I dislike the situation based on the measuring stick of wealth? Or do I dislike it because I've seen how the person behaves when they actually have money several times over, and they don't seem to care about giving back? The latter is far more important to me. The haves and have nots aren't something I care about. Given the same tools, I'd still go the route of budget and whatever is leftover, enhance my future or someone else's. Why not both? Money saved instead of getting a luxury item in favor of something practical plus a good time for me and/or a group of people is more valuable than being a status symbol for the Internet or people that probably don't even like or care for me in the way I may for them. This conversation gets more complex of course when you consider why many rich people donate to charities.

I never understood why money itself is so "evil" and how dare we talk about it. We literally need it for our day to day lives. Don't go getting financially naked with just anyone though. Getting caught with your pants down for people to just laugh at you or maybe worse, ignore you entirely, is never a good feeling. In that case maybe you do keep it to yourself. Privilege however isn't entirely just money. How about a manager that somehow got where they are and can literally afford to barely if ever be around but then make you go through hoops to get a day off or a remote work day. Do they have to go through these hoops? Probably not. Do they consider they were once in your position? If they are good boss, they will. If not, have fun not being able to focus on life sometimes during work hours. How about choices on where to go work due to the connections? Meanwhile others have to filter through various (probably crap) job openings? How about having a car vs not having one? Imagine knowing someone you care about not having a car and you know they need groceries and just being like nah, can't help you. You don't owe anyone anything, sure, but do your feelings go out the window directly because of money or job status? No. It's the person. Not the money, not the degree, not the job status.

Taking all this at face value, this makes you rethink perhaps people you may know and what you may want to give to a person. How often you may want to hang out. What kind of connection you will have. If you consider doing a nice thing for from time to time. Ok the flip side, sometimes you're shocked about who comes through for you or why. You'd be shocked at people taking a hard stance towards "this person has all this stuff and I don't", but then just are perfectly fine with handouts to the point where they don't look nearly as poor as they are putting out there. Furthermore, let's also not entertain conversations to improve this for ourselves and better well being. Let's run a narrative instead of how bad things are, when they actually aren't, for the sake of your reputation. Something else that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. This all sounds bad doesn't it?

I don't think people are always bad alongside thinking there are many out there that just suck. Thing is, it isn't my default. It's not like my thinking when I go driving any day that ends in Y in Florida. You could say this is a double standard. You'd be right. Instead of making a snap judgment, I'm willing to look at the whole situation. Rich or poor, if someone isn't gonna help me, I'm still in the same situation, and how much they have doesn't change that. It is why it is easy for me personally to ignore politics. Without getting into specifics, I think many can agree both recent Presidents have been not so great in the U.S. for their own reasons. I'm allowed to think this without having to get into a conversation about which is the greater evil. I can but I don't have to. We're focused on the wrong things. This is where it gets tricky and somewhat self centered.

You have to focus on you. What about everyone else? Hopefully you and your spouse are mostly on the same page for moving forward. Now what? Friends and Family. Take the salary out of the equation. Who would have your back and it doesn't even have to be based on money at all? Keep that short list. Keep the rest at arms length or ditch where necessary. It sounds mean, but you have to do this for your own good. When we do this however, we don't reserve space to talk crap about them later. If you're doing that you haven't come to terms yet and/or are wasting time on what doesn't matter. No one gets respect for being a keyboard warrior and you just wasted time and emotional energy. Imagine being a keyboard warrior all day and not having to pay bills. Probably a bad person, right? Maybe. How about if you get this person out and with others. Are they nurturing? Since they have no bills essentially, will they pay for themselves and/or support someone who might not being able to afford something since they have the privilege to do so?

People are allowed to live their own lives. So are you. Focus more on how you're living yours and ones that enrich yours. There may be things outside of this that upset you, but ultimately has nothing to do with you. Let it go and focus on your goals and your tribe. We'd love a Black and White world but it is rarely if ever that simple. I just don't know or care to keep looking beneath the surface as I have with others, when they have shown hard proof that they don't care about others or me (if trying to maintain a close relationship with them) time and time again. I believe both in seeing the greater good in someone, alongside kicking someone to the curb. If they show their hand, believe it. Believe more in your goals and your tribe. Having been through two work roles this year and some lost or changing friend relationships, you can get more than ever I'm focused on the tool (money) to push forward. This can be used to strengthen relationships within the tribe and my future which includes my lovely partner. Priorities. We are in desperate need for a respec when it comes to those. Start by turning off some notifications on what you're probably reading this on. Your phone.

/rant

[sincericida]

Hey girl! This isn't really for you to post but you can if you want to, obviously I can't stop you, I just think maybe you could answer or take this advice and respond without making this - what I'm saying - public. Because that's really all I'm doing, is offering advice and maybe making a request? 💗

You know I love you and I'm always gonna love your tumblr, but, you should really rethink posting ai images of our collective lover Andrew haha!

(lmao you know we all love you for posting so much AG content!! 😘😘).

But, in all honestly you shouldn't re-post or re-blog or re-whatever this stuff that isn't genuine, for soooo many reasons. They're not actual pictures for one, and even though you might tag them as "manips" or "ai generated" or whatever, a LOT of people out there still don't understand that those aren't real and in a way it can be harmful and misleading. Not least because Andrew himself did not approve of that "content" - and regardless of what people say, it ISN'T 'art', IT'S 'content' - and his likeness is being used without his consent in this regards.

And I know it might seem like a little nitpicky thing but the truth is, it isn't.

This kind of stuff is *exactly* what the actors in SAG-AFTRA were striking for, and what they spent so much time fighting for, the ability to prevent their likeness being manipulated by AI without their consent and being published without their say so.

Now, are they going to call you out every time you publish something on tumblr (and yes you're essentially "publishing" every time you post something to your blog, and you are responsible for the content that you publish or republish)? No of course not! We're all fans and we all publish gifs and pictures etc. without really thinking about it. And ok fine, I love your blog so I'm not too upset about all the AG content you publish, nor is anyone else lol.

But where I sort of draw the line is the ai generated "fake" images. I'm sorry but those shouldn't be posted by anyone (not just you) unless it's made VERY VERY VERY clear that they are fake fake fake. It's just tacky. And as I said, they can be misleading.

And honestly those "pics" you posted aren't even that good lol!...he's sooo much better looking (much hotter) in real life than what's in those crappy ai photos! 🤣🤣🤣

Anyway, you know we love you and keep up the awesomeness! But you should really really just reconsider (re)posting stuff like that...it's just...blehh 😝

Mwah! 😘

Dear anon, I see your point about AI. And I agree with him. After pondering, I decided to remove the visibility. 😉

[nickgerlich]

Book Worm

I have always been a book worm. My parents instilled that in me at a very early age, buying what seemed to be an unlimited supply of Hardy Boys Mystery books. They were great, and I would happily recuse myself from television and such to curl up with a good book.

Today, my personal library is huge. Not Larry McMurtry huge, but likely at least a thousand books. And I use them often, because—as per one of my many mantras—in order to be a good writer, you must first be a great reader. I summon my books for facts and figures that I cannot quickly find on Google.

Way back in the 1990s, my favorite store in Amarillo was Barnes & Noble. Their library-like interior appealed to me. I felt as if I should whisper whenever I spoke. The comfy chairs made lounging not only viable, but encouraged. After all, the longer a customer stays, the more they spend. And spend I did.

But eventually I launched my boat in the Amazon River, and, well, you know, I found myself buying my books online. I let my B&N membership lapse, even though I had long gotten my money’s worth with their 10% discount. I rather enjoyed shopping from home, even if I didn’t get the sensory satisfaction of smelling ink on paper, the visual of book spines pointed out and my tilted head reading titles.

A funny thing happened late last year. I reopened my membership there (OK, it was at a B&N in Orlando, but the membership is good everywhere). And I have used it, coming close to breaking even on the $25 up-front fee. You know what? I am part of the trend, the resurgence in book sales in general, and more specifically, the revival of a long-beleaguered retail chain. B&N is staging a comeback, and they’re ready to be our retail library once more.

Yes, B&N made some major faux pas after Amazon opened. Their tablet was a flop. Their online presence was abysmal. What they forgot, though, was their ace in the hole: the store itself. The very atmosphere made buying books a pleasure, those dark wooden bookshelves that reminded me of the stacks at the library I had patronized as a teen.

B&N is now planning on opening 30 stores this year. That’s huge for a chain that many had written off, cast into the lake of irrelevance. Better yet, the chain—now under fairly recent new ownership by a hedge fund—is getting rid of all the non-book rubbish they had added in an effort to squeeze a nickel wherever they could. It’s all about books, the way it once was, and the way it should be.

The best part is that they are allowing individual stores to tailor their selections to the local market, and not base it on an algorithm. If people are buying books on animal husbandry in Amarillo Texas, then they should stock more of them there. If people in Orlando are buying books on Florida roadside attractions—a book project on which I have been writing the last two years—then they should stock more of those. Especially anything by me, but I digress.

You see, it’s beginning to sound like B&N wants to be not just a viable retail outlet for books you might buy, but also more like the tiny mom-and-pop indie stores that used to be everywhere. While indie store owners may cringe at the thought of B&N trying to be like them, at least it is all BAM. 



Wait. Did I just say that? Hold my beer while I rethink that a bit.



Alright, I’m back, and I am good with this. We do need balance, and BAM booksellers, be they a large chain (there’s pretty much only B&N and Books-A-Million left) or mom-and-pop, they can make it in the Amazon era.

There is much to be said for BAM retail, and atmospherics will play a role alongside other strategic variables. It is B&N’s library-like atmosphere that originally drew me in years ago, and it is what will keep me coming back in the years ahead. I cannot say that of many retailers.

By now, you have probably surmised that I detest most shopping. But put me in a place that allows me to interact with the products, to try them out, to get comfy, and you will see me pulling out my credit card.



Because that is still something you cannot do in the digital arena.

Dr “Buy The Book“ Gerlich

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