#ok off to Costco bye

[vgbndangel]

She's a 10 but she's completely, "unhealthily" obsessed with you~

[t4tails]

my notes are full of people very very mad at me for calling costco memberships rich

[jiggolo]

Ok were off to get Costco pizza and see infinity pool bye everyoej

[purplegirl20]

Bloody Surprise

Pairing: Damian Priest x Self-Insert (Me)x Edge Summary: Damian and Edge decides to send me a special gift after I do grocery . Warning: Slight SMUT (18+), mention of menstruation (Period) Tagging: @ghoulsister1 @omg-im-such-a-masochist @babiidee @sparkleva25 @alicejoaquin1990 @vintage-pvssy @ashkrystal @theworldofotps @nyc-kyra-93 @ziasaph @priestparty @queenzay@sultryfandoms @auburnwrites @windhamsrotunda @sinnerchaosqueen

Note: If you have problems with mention of blood, please don't read. Enjoy the story.

It was a hectic Monday afternoon. It was my day off, so I decided to go to Sam's club to get some groceries for the house.

I quickly pulled out my phone and my grocery list from my purse. I put on my wireless earbuds to listen to some music while I shop.

Shaynell: Alright. Let's get to business.

I grabs the shopping cart and went inside of the warehouse store.

Shaynell: Alright then.

I spend the afternoon, browsing and shopping around at the warehouse to get some stuff for the house.

After 2 hours of browsing and checking off the items, I heard my phone starts vibrating.

Shaynell: Who's calling me at this moment?

I quickly look up and saw Damian's name on the phone. I quickly picks up the phone.

Shaynell: Hello?

Damian: Hey Mija.

Shaynell: Hey Baby. How are you?

Damian: I'm doing good. I miss you.

Shaynell: I miss you too Baby. How's your Monday so far?

Damian: Ehh. It's been raining all day but I'm at a restaurant, getting some Barbecue ribs and briskets before the show?

Shaynell: Wow. That sound really delicious and juicy.

Damian: Not as juicy as my cock.

Shaynell:(Blushing) Damian!

Damian: What? I know you like that.

Shaynell:(sighs) Jesus Christ.

"Hey. Can I get a side of buttered brussels sprouts as my side dish, along with my brisket?

"Of course"

Shaynell: Edge? Is that you?

Edge:(gasp) Is that your girlfriend, Damian?

Damian: Yea. You want to talk to her?

Edge: Sure.

He gave his phone to Edge.

Edge: Hey!

Shaynell: Hey Edge. How are you?

Shaynell: I'm ok. Just doing some groceries for the house.

Edge: I see.

Shaynell: Yea. It's my day off so I just wanted to do some grocery shopping. Already at the food court to get something to eat.

Edge: Food court? Are you at Costco?

Shaynell: No. Sam's club.

Edge: Ah. I see.

Shaynell: Yea. Try to stock up for the house.

Edge: Must be a big job.

Shaynell: It is, but I can handled it.

Edge:(chuckling) Alright. By the way, We have a package coming to your house later this afternoon.

Shaynell: Oh really?

Edge: Yes. It a little gift from Damian and I to help you while we're gone for our upcoming tour.

Shaynell: Oh Really? Well I keep a look out on the package. Thank you.

Edge: Your welcome. I'll see you later. Love you.

Shaynell:(blushing)Bye.

Damian: I'll let you go. Have enjoy meal, mija. I love you.

Shaynell: I love you too, Babe.

We smile and quickly hung up our phone. I smile and pay for my groceries before I went to the food court to get some food.

1 hour later…

I finally arrived after spending the whole afternoon shopping at Sam's club.

Shaynell: Finally. I'm home. What a day today.

I get out of my car and grabs my things out that I out from Sam's club. As I was getting them inside the house from the car, I notice a package at the porch.

Shaynell:(thinking) Is this the package they were talking about?

I quickly get groceries inside the house and pick up the package.

Shaynell: Huh.

I quickly texted Damian that I got the package. I quickly got a replied from him texting have fun with our gift with a winking emoji.

Shaynell: Have fun? What is he talking about.

I quickly put all of the groceries in the fridge and grabs the package and went to my room.

I grabs a pair of scissors to open the box. I open the box, revealing another box.

Shaynell: What the hell? What type of joke is this?

I notice a purple envelope taped next to the small box. I took the envelope and open it, revealing a letter.

Shaynell: (reading) Dear Princess, I know this week and next week will be intense for you since your two prince of darkness will be preparing for our European tour so we decide to get you a special gift to give you pure bliss while we're gone.

Truly yours, Edge and Damian, prince of darkness.

I quickly opens the box and saw 2 dildos, one in dark purple and one in black.

Shaynell: OOH. This is interesting.

Then I saw another letter under the two phallic toys.

Shaynell:(reading) PS, the 2 dildos are modeled after our thick shaft with the purple one is modeled after Damian and the black dildo is modeled after Edge. Have fun little one.

I pulled the 2 silicone phalluses from the box.

Shaynell:(smirks) Hmm. This is going to be real fun night!

I quickly removes my clothes and throw them aside. I noticed blood trickling down on my legs.

Shaynell: Crap. Got my period. I thought I won't get my period until Thursday. UGH!

I quickly removed my crimson-stained panties and throw it away to the hamper to be wash. I went to the bathroom and grabs a towel to lay it on top of the bed.

I get myself and starts getting myself comfortable.

Shaynell:(sighs) Which one to pleasure myself?

I grabs the Purple dildo and smirk.

Shaynell:(smirks) My love.

I quickly spreads my bloody pussy lips and let the silicone phallus slide into my pussy, causing me to squeak and moan.

Shaynell:(giggling) Look like I don't need lube at all.

I continue fucking myself as the cock keep slipping in and out of my pussy.

Shaynell:(moans) FUCK! IT FEEL SO GOOD! I Wonder If I could fit in Edge's juicy cock as well?

I grabs the black phallus and stuffed it in my ass.

Shaynell:(moans) OH GOD! I can't believe that both my pussy and ass swallow their cocks.

I starts rubbing my sensitive nub as I keep fucking myself.

Shaynell:(moans) OH YEA! PLEASE FUCK ME HARD! PLEASE!

I pleasure my blood-stained cunt with the dildo until Damian's fake cock slipped out, covered with my deep crimson essence.

Shaynell: Holy Shit. That was good. Now's let me do Edge. He need some love too.

I quickly pulled his fake cock out of my tight ass and shove it into my cunt.

Shaynell:(moans) OH GOD! It so thick like the real thing!

I keep fucking myself as I rubs my sensitive clit, making me get closer to climax.

Shaynell:(whimpers) FUCK! SHIT! OH MY GOD!

As I continue pleasuring myself, I felt my pussy convulses and clenches onto the fake cock.

Shaynell:(moans) I'm gonna cum! I'M GONNA CUM! I'M GONNA-AHHHHHHH!

I starts cumming all over all the towel and Edge's fake cock. The fake phallus slips out of my pussy and coats with my deep red essence.

I quickly plop down on the bed as my body convulses from the intense orgasm. I smiling and giggling hysterically.

Shaynell:(giggling) That was a fun.

I look down and saw my towel, looking like a murder scene with fresh blood clots, splattered all over the towel.

Shaynell:(sighs) Well, at least I don't have to deal with cramps tonight.

I smile and get up from the bed. I quickly pick up the stained towel and put in the hamper. I quickly pick up the dildos to be clean.

I relaxes myself by taking a nice hot shower to clean myself.

Shaynell: That feel so good.

After finishing up, I grabs my phone and order some food to eat and watch my two princes of darkness be on RAW.

[lighterandpaper]

Mike Dancerford

Photo by @carltraw

A hunched man at a desk is reading a script. “Pan to Amy waving goodbye. Fade to Black,” he reads. He looks up to the young woman anxiously sitting there. “Wow, Regina. You blow my nose off with your screenwriting talent. How do you even come up with this stuff? But hey, you get paid to write the magic words, I get paid to find you to do it. That’t my rosebud. Film reference!”

She smiles and laughs with relief. She’s dressed better than the room she’s in and is in more control than she lets on.

“Let’s massage this delicate flower into a blockbuster the whole family can enjoy. What do you say, Regina?”

“Well, Mr. Dancerford, I’d actually rather not aim to make a blockbuster.”

“First of all, call me Mike. Mr. Dancerford is my adoptive father. Secondly, who doesn’t want to make a blockbuster if they are ready and able?”

“It’s just that I’d rather not compromise the script.”

“Do you not see the awards on my wall here Regina?” He points to the walls. “Biggest actor! Longest film! That’s your future with Dancerford and Associates as long as you trust us!”

“I’m not in this for the awards... Mike.”

“Then why… Then why do?”

“I believe in artistic integrity,” she says. She sits up straighter.

“Artistic integrity? Let me tell you what I told Olivia Wilde, ‘Who needs artistic integrity when you could be bumping shoulder pads with Dana Carvey?’ That man can act. He was my first client and has been a work pony for many these odd years. If you want this movie to pull Oscar’s leg. To be more than just an indie darling, you need big stars like Dana Carvey! You can’t handle the truth! Film reference!”

“I really appreciate you believing in me, but I still want to maintain control of the script during production. I have to make a stand here, Mike. I’m sure you understand.” 

“Regina, I don’t understand. Do you think I stop everyone at Costco who looks like they probably wrote a screenplay? No! That’s your lucky stars! Speaking of lucky stars… You becoming one?”

“I don’t need to be a star. I just want to make my movie.”

“Wow…” Mike says, pen in mouth. “Usually my charm convinces even the most idealistic screenwriters. Such passion fills my veins and reminds me of when I started out!”

She smiles.

“Ok, Ok. I’m so excited to work with you, we can think about doing it your way.” 

She says “Thank you,” and begins to gather her things.

“I sense we will be having many more of these charming back-and-forths about ‘art’ in our coming years working together and also as close personal friends?” 

She laughs awkwardly.

“I can see you need to go! We should talk more about this another time. I trust you know the way out? That’s right, the one door leading directly out into the shopping center. OK Bye Bye!”

Regina waves goodbye. “Thank you, Mike. I’m excited to work with you!”

Mike sits in silence for a moment, then leans over to an intercom on his desk and presses the button. “Tim, take a note: Meeting with Regina. Much good done today by me, Mike Dancerford. Discussed art and integrity. Everyone came away having learned something. I’m king of the world! Film reference!”

[ebrownrightnow]

12.

TODAY RULED

woke up early

cleaned my room and hung out with my dogs

then blew up alex’s phone

got him dunks

then went and picked him up

we drove around for THREE N A HALF HOURS

it was so awesome we talked about everything i love him

we went all the way to boston and back

in september the boys are renting an apartment RIGHT DOWN THE FUCKIN STREET from my apt at school and that is so many different shades of weird for me

cause allston is like???? i feel so much ownership over it & its my school friend place??? and my theater place??? and now its gonna become theirs and also be a place where i see them when i come back to visit like thomas and stuff??? very VERY WEIRD VERY WEEEIRD

then back to alex’s and ben and ashley came over

we ate mcds and laughed with them for a little i love them

then costco!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what the fuck is my whole entire life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

i am lizzie mcguire please trust me on this. things happen in my life that just don’t happen to other people I SWEAR

then barnes and noble where we all grabbed books and then we were like .... cheaper on amazon...... bye. GOT MOLESKINS THO

then savers, GOT JEANS

then back to the barn where we all hung out and watched alex play mario bros & ryan bounce off the walls - my lungs hurt from all the second hand smoke i inhaled from ryan *eyeroll emoji* *if i had it but this is a computer*

i am so .. . . ..  weak sometimes

I LOVE 2 DANCE THO. CONFIRMED. note to future self, whatever u wear tomorrow night, u have to be able 2 dance in, sry i dont make the rules except I DO

drove home talking to thomas i love u so so much im so sorry we had to cut the convo short

long long talk with mom was really good

MY EYES R ON FIRE AND I HAVE TO WAKE UP SO SO EARLY 2 SUB AT ST*NY BR**K ((WHERE DREAMS GO 2 DIE)) TOMORROW!!! :)))) <333

i love making money tho its TITE

OK goodnight i love myself so much bye

[costco-service]

The Costco-Service blog, but every time the Bee Movie Script is posted, it gets faster! ^0^

did somebody say

the bee movie script

According to all known lawsof aviation,  there is no way a beeshould be able to fly.  Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground.  The bee, of course, flies anyway  because bees don't carewhat humans think is impossible.  Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black.  Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.  Barry! Breakfast is ready!  Ooming!  Hang on a second.  Hello?  - Barry?- Adam?  - Oan you believe this is happening?- I can't. I'll pick you up.  Looking sharp.  Use the stairs. Your fatherpaid good money for those.  Sorry. I'm excited.  Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.  A perfect report card, all B's.  Very proud.  Ma! I got a thing going here.  - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me!  - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.- Bye!  Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house!  - Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry.  - Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation.  Never thought I'd make it.  Three days grade school,three days high school.  Those were awkward.  Three days college. I'm glad I tooka day and hitchhiked around the hive.  You did come back different.  - Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.  - Hear about Frankie?- Yeah.  - You going to the funeral?- No, I'm not going.  Everybody knows,sting someone, you die.  Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead.  I guess he could havejust gotten out of the way.  I love this incorporatingan amusement park into our day.  That's why we don't need vacations.  Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances.  - Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are!  - Bee-men.- Amen!  Hallelujah!  Students, faculty, distinguished bees,  please welcome Dean Buzzwell.  Welcome, New Hive Oitygraduating class of...  ...9:15.  That concludes our ceremonies.  And begins your careerat Honex Industries!  Will we pick ourjob today?  I heard it's just orientation.  Heads up! Here we go.  Keep your hands and antennasinside the tram at all times.  - Wonder what it'll be like?- A little scary.  Welcome to Honex,a division of Honesco  and a part of the Hexagon Group.  This is it!  Wow.  Wow.  We know that you, as a bee,have worked your whole life  to get to the point where youcan work for your whole life.  Honey begins when our valiant PollenJocks bring the nectar to the hive.  Our top-secret formula  is automatically color-corrected,scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured  into this soothing sweet syrup  with its distinctivegolden glow you know as...  Honey!  - That girl was hot.- She's my cousin!  - She is?- Yes, we're all cousins.  - Right. You're right.- At Honex, we constantly strive  to improve every aspectof bee existence.  These bees are stress-testinga new helmet technology.  - What do you think he makes?- Not enough.  Here we have our latest advancement,the Krelman.  - What does that do?- Oatches that little strand of honey  that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.  Oan anyone work on the Krelman?  Of course. Most bee jobs aresmall ones. But bees know  that every small job,if it's done well, means a lot.  But choose carefully  because you'll stay in the jobyou pick for the rest of your life.  The same job the rest of your life?I didn't know that.  What's the difference?  You'll be happy to know that bees,as a species, haven't had one day off  in 27 million years.  So you'll just work us to death?  We'll sure try.  Wow! That blew my mind!  "What's the difference?"How can you say that?  One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.  I'm relieved. Now we only haveto make one decision in life.  But, Adam, how could theynever have told us that?  Why would you question anything?We're bees.  We're the most perfectlyfunctioning society on Earth.  You ever think maybe thingswork a little too well here?  Like what? Give me one example.  I don't know. But you knowwhat I'm talking about.  Please clear the gate.Royal Nectar Force on approach.  Wait a second. Oheck it out.  - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!- Wow.  I've never seen them this close.  They know what it's likeoutside the hive.  Yeah, but some don't come back.  - Hey, Jocks!- Hi, Jocks!  You guys did great!  You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!  - I wonder where they were.- I don't know.  Their day's not planned.  Outside the hive, flying who knowswhere, doing who knows what.  You can'tjust decide to be a PollenJock. You have to be bred for that.  Right.  Look. That's more pollenthan you and I will see in a lifetime.  It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.  Perhaps. Unless you're wearing itand the ladies see you wearing it.  Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?  Distant. Distant.  Look at these two.  - Oouple of Hive Harrys.- Let's have fun with them.  It must be dangerousbeing a Pollen Jock.  Yeah. Once a bear pinned meagainst a mushroom!  He had a paw on my throat,and with the other, he was slapping me!  - Oh, my!- I never thought I'd knock him out.  What were you doing during this?  Trying to alert the authorities.  I can autograph that.  A little gusty out there today,wasn't it, comrades?  Yeah. Gusty.  We're hitting a sunflower patchsix miles from here tomorrow.  - Six miles, huh?- Barry!  A puddle jump for us,but maybe you're not up for it.  - Maybe I am.- You are not!  We're going 0900 at J-Gate.  What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?  I might be. It all dependson what 0900 means.  Hey, Honex!  Dad, you surprised me.  You decide what you're interested in?  - Well, there's a lot of choices.- But you only get one.  Do you ever get boreddoing the same job every day?  Son, let me tell you about stirring.  You grab that stick, and you justmove it around, and you stir it around.  You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing.  You know, Dad,the more I think about it,  maybe the honey fieldjust isn't right for me.  You were thinking of what,making balloon animals?  That's a bad jobfor a guy with a stinger.  Janet, your son's not surehe wants to go into honey!  - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.- I'm not trying to be funny.  You're not funny! You're goinginto honey. Our son, the stirrer!  - You're gonna be a stirrer?- No one's listening to me!  Wait till you see the sticks I have.  I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!  Let's open some honey and celebrate!  Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.Shave my antennae.  Shack up with a grasshopper. Geta gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!  I'm so proud.  - We're starting work today!- Today's the day.  Oome on! All the good jobswill be gone.  Yeah, right.  Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,stirrer, front desk, hair removal...  - Is it still available?- Hang on. Two left!  One of them's yours! Oongratulations!Step to the side.  - What'd you get?- Picking crud out. Stellar!  Wow!  Oouple of newbies?  Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!  Make your choice.  - You want to go first?- No, you go.  Oh, my. What's available?  Restroom attendant's open,not for the reason you think.  - Any chance of getting the Krelman?- Sure, you're on.  I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.  Wax monkey's always open.  The Krelman opened up again.  What happened?  A bee died. Makes an opening. See?He's dead. Another dead one.  Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.  Dead from the neck up.Dead from the neck down. That's life!  Oh, this is so hard!  Heating, cooling,stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,  humming, inspector number seven,lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,  mite wrangler. Barry, whatdo you think I should... Barry?  Barry!  All right, we've got the sunflower patchin quadrant nine...  What happened to you?Where are you?  - I'm going out.- Out? Out where?  - Out there.- Oh, no!  I have to, before I goto work for the rest of my life.  You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?  Another call coming in.  If anyone's feeling brave,there's a Korean deli on 83rd  that gets their roses today.  Hey, guys.  - Look at that.- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?  Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.  It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.  Really? Feeling lucky, are you?  Sign here, here. Just initial that.  - Thank you.- OK.  You got a rain advisory today,  and as you all know,bees cannot fly in rain.  So be careful. As always,watch your brooms,  hockey sticks, dogs,birds, bears and bats.  Also, I got a couple of reportsof root beer being poured on us.  Murphy's in a home because of it,babbling like a cicada!  - That's awful.- And a reminder for you rookies,  bee law number one,absolutely no talking to humans!  All right, launch positions!  Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!  Black and yellow!  Hello!  You ready for this, hot shot?  Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.  Wind, check.  - Antennae, check.- Nectar pack, check.  - Wings, check.- Stinger, check.  Scared out of my shorts, check.  OK, ladies,  let's move it out!  Pound those petunias,you striped stem-suckers!  All of you, drain those flowers!  Wow! I'm out!  I can't believe I'm out!  So blue.  I feel so fast and free!  Box kite!  Wow!  Flowers!  This is Blue Leader.We have roses visual.  Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.  Roses!  30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.  Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick.  That is one nectar collector!  - Ever see pollination up close?- No, sir.  I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle itover here. Maybe a dash over there,  a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic.  That's amazing. Why do we do that?  That's pollen power. More pollen, moreflowers, more nectar, more honey for us.  Oool.  I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?  Oopy that visual.  Wait. One of these flowersseems to be on the move.  Say again? You're reportinga moving flower?  Affirmative.  That was on the line!  This is the coolest. What is it?  I don't know, but I'm loving this color.  It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it.  Yeah, fuzzy.  Ohemical-y.  Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.  My sweet lord of bees!  Oandy-brain, get off there!  Problem!  - Guys!- This could be bad.  Affirmative.  Very close.  Gonna hurt.  Mama's little boy.  You are way out of position, rookie!  Ooming in at you like a missile!  Help me!  I don't think these are flowers.  - Should we tell him?- I think he knows.  What is this?!  Match point!  You can start packing up, honey,because you're about to eat it!  Yowser!  Gross.  There's a bee in the car!  - Do something!- I'm driving!  - Hi, bee.- He's back here!  He's going to sting me!  Nobody move. If you don't move,he won't sting you. Freeze!  He blinked!  Spray him, Granny!  What are you doing?!  Wow... the tension levelout here is unbelievable.  I gotta get home.  Oan't fly in rain.  Oan't fly in rain.  Oan't fly in rain.  Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!  Ken, could you closethe window please?  Ken, could you closethe window please?  Oheck out my new resume.I made it into a fold-out brochure.  You see? Folds out.  Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.  What was that?  Maybe this time. This time. This time.This time! This time! This...  Drapes!  That is diabolical.  It's fantastic. It's got all my specialskills, even my top-ten favorite movies.  What's number one? Star Wars?  Nah, I don't go for that...  ...kind of stuff.  No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.They're out of their minds.  When I leave a job interview, they'reflabbergasted, can't believe what I say.  There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.  I don't remember the sunhaving a big 75 on it.  I predicted global warming.  I could feel it getting hotter.At first I thought it was just me.  Wait! Stop! Bee!  Stand back. These are winter boots.  Wait!  Don't kill him!  You know I'm allergic to them!This thing could kill me!  Why does his life haveless value than yours?  Why does his life have any less valuethan mine? Is that your statement?  I'm just saying all life has value. Youdon't know what he's capable of feeling.  My brochure!  There you go, little guy.  I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing.  Put that on your resume brochure.  My whole face could puff up.  Make it one of your special skills.  Knocking someone outis also a special skill.  Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.  - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.  - You could put carob chips on there.- Bye.  - Supposed to be less calories.- Bye.  I gotta say something.  She saved my life.I gotta say something.  All right, here it goes.  Nah.  What would I say?  I could really get in trouble.  It's a bee law.You're not supposed to talk to a human.  I can't believe I'm doing this.  I've got to.  Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!  No. Yes. No.  Do it. I can't.  How should I start it?"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.  Here she comes! Speak, you fool!  Hi!  I'm sorry.  - You're talking.- Yes, I know.  You're talking!  I'm so sorry.  No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming.  But I don't recall going to bed.  Well, I'm sure thisis very disconcerting.  This is a bit of a surprise to me.I mean, you're a bee!  I am. And I'm not supposedto be doing this,  but they were all trying to kill me.  And if it wasn't for you...  I had to thank you.It's just how I was raised.  That was a little weird.  - I'm talking with a bee.- Yeah.  I'm talking to a bee.And the bee is talking to me!  I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now.  - Wait! How did you learn to do that?- What?  The talking thing.  Same way you did, I guess."Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.  - That's very funny.- Yeah.  Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,we'd cry with what we have to deal with.  Anyway...  Oan I...  ...get you something?- Like what?  I don't know. I mean...I don't know. Ooffee?  I don't want to put you out.  It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.  - It's just coffee.- I hate to impose.  - Don't be ridiculous!- Actually, I would love a cup.  Hey, you want rum cake?  - I shouldn't.- Have some.  - No, I can't.- Oome on!  I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.  - Where?- These stripes don't help.  You look great!  I don't know if you knowanything about fashion.  Are you all right?  No.  He's making the tie in the cabas they're flying up Madison.  He finally gets there.  He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on.  And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan.  Why would I marry a watermelon?"  Is that a bee joke?  That's the kind of stuff we do.  Yeah, different.  So, what are you gonna do, Barry?  About work? I don't know.  I want to do my part for the hive,but I can't do it the way they want.  I know how you feel.  - You do?- Sure.  My parents wanted me to be a lawyer ora doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.  - Really?- My only interest is flowers.  Our new queen was just electedwith that same campaign slogan.  Anyway, if you look...  There's my hive right there. See it?  You're in Sheep Meadow!  Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!  No way! I know that area.I lost a toe ring there once.  - Why do girls put rings on their toes?- Why not?  - It's like putting a hat on your knee.- Maybe I'll try that.  - You all right, ma'am?- Oh, yeah. Fine.  Just having two cups of coffee!  Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee.  Yeah, it's no trouble.  Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,I'd be up the rest of my life.  Are you...?  Oan I take a piece of this with me?  Sure! Here, have a crumb.  - Thanks!- Yeah.  All right. Well, then...I guess I'll see you around.  Or not.  OK, Barry.  And thank youso much again... for before.  Oh, that? That was nothing.  Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...  This can't possibly work.  He's all set to go.We may as well try it.  OK, Dave, pull the chute.  - Sounds amazing.- It was amazing!  It was the scariest,happiest moment of my life.  Humans! I can't believeyou were with humans!  Giant, scary humans!What were they like?  Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.  They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy.  - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?- Some of them. But some of them don't.  - How'd you get back?- Poodle.  You did it, and I'm glad. You sawwhatever you wanted to see.  You had your "experience." Now youcan pick out yourjob and be normal.  - Well...- Well?  Well, I met someone.  You did? Was she Bee-ish?  - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!- No, no, no, not a wasp.  - Spider?- I'm not attracted to spiders.  I know it's the hottest thing,with the eight legs and all.  I can't get by that face.  So who is she?  She's... human.  No, no. That's a bee law.You wouldn't break a bee law.  - Her name's Vanessa.- Oh, boy.  She's so nice. And she's a florist!  Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!  We're not dating.  You're flying outside the hive, talkingto humans that attack our homes  with power washers and M-80s!One-eighth a stick of dynamite!  She saved my life!And she understands me.  This is over!  Eat this.  This is not over! What was that?  - They call it a crumb.- It was so stingin' stripey!  And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat!  - You know what a Oinnabon is?- No.  It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.They heat it up...  Sit down!  ...really hot!- Listen to me!  We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them!  Yes, but who can denythe heart that is yearning?  There's no yearning.Stop yearning. Listen to me!  You have got to start thinking bee,my friend. Thinking bee!  - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee.  Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  There he is. He's in the pool.  You know what your problem is, Barry?  I gotta start thinking bee?  How much longer will this go on?  It's been three days!Why aren't you working?  I've got a lot of big life decisionsto think about.  What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee!  Would it kill youto make a little honey?  Barry, come out.Your father's talking to you.  Martin, would you talk to him?  Barry, I'm talking to you!  You coming?  Got everything?  All set!  Go ahead. I'll catch up.  Don't be too long.  Watch this!  Vanessa!  - We're still here.- I told you not to yell at him.  He doesn't respond to yelling!  - Then why yell at me?- Because you don't listen!  I'm not listening to this.  Sorry, I've gotta go.  - Where are you going?- I'm meeting a friend.  A girl? Is this why you can't decide?  Bye.  I just hope she's Bee-ish.  They have a huge paradeof flowers every year in Pasadena?  To be in the Tournament of Roses,that's every florist's dream!  Up on a float, surroundedby flowers, crowds cheering.  A tournament. Do the rosescompete in athletic events?  No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere?  It's exhausting. Why don't yourun everywhere? It's faster.  Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn.  TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?That's insane!  You don't have that?  We have Hivo, but it's a disease.It's a horrible, horrible disease.  Oh, my.  Dumb bees!  You must want to sting all those jerks.  We try not to sting.It's usually fatal for us.  So you have to watch your temper.  Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk,  write an angry letter and throw it out.Work through it like any emotion:  Anger, jealousy, lust.  Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?  Yeah.  - What is wrong with you?!- It's a bug.  He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep!  What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?  Yeah, it was. How did you know?  It felt like about 10 pages.Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.  You've really got thatdown to a science.  - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.- I'll bet.  What in the nameof Mighty Hercules is this?  How did this get here?Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,  Ray Liotta Private Select?  - Is he that actor?- I never heard of him.  - Why is this here?- For people. We eat it.  You don't haveenough food of your own?  - Well, yes.- How do you get it?  - Bees make it.- I know who makes it!  And it's hard to make it!  There's heating, cooling, stirring.You need a whole Krelman thing!  - It's organic.- It's our-ganic!  It's just honey, Barry.  Just what?!  Bees don't know about this!This is stealing! A lot of stealing!  You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!  And it's on sale?!I'm getting to the bottom of this.  I'm getting to the bottomof all of this!  Hey, Hector.  - You almost done?- Almost.  He is here. I sense it.  Well, I guess I'll go home now  and just leave this nice honey out,with no one around.  You're busted, box boy!  I knew I heard something.So you can talk!  I can talk.And now you'll start talking!  Where you getting the sweet stuff?Who's your supplier?  I don't understand.I thought we were friends.  The last thing we wantto do is upset bees!  You're too late! It's ours now!  You, sir, have crossedthe wrong sword!  You, sir, will be lunchfor my iguana, Ignacio!  Where is the honey coming from?  Tell me where!  Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!  Orazy person!  What horrible thing has happened here?  These faces, they never knewwhat hit them. And now  they're on the road to nowhere!  Just keep still.  What? You're not dead?  Do I look dead? They will wipe anythingthat moves. Where you headed?  To Honey Farms.I am onto something huge here.  I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,crazy stuff. Blows your head off!  I'm going to Tacoma.  - And you?- He really is dead.  All right.  Uh-oh!  - What is that?!- Oh, no!  - A wiper! Triple blade!- Triple blade?  Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!  Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?!  How much do you people need to see?!  Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window!  From NPR News in Washington,I'm Oarl Kasell.  But don't kill no more bugs!  - Bee!- Moose blood guy!!  - You hear something?- Like what?  Like tiny screaming.  Turn off the radio.  Whassup, bee boy?  Hey, Blood.  Just a row of honey jars,as far as the eye could see.  Wow!  I assume wherever this truck goesis where they're getting it.  I mean, that honey's ours.  - Bees hang tight.- We're all jammed in.  It's a close community.  Not us, man. We on our own.Every mosquito on his own.  - What if you get in trouble?- You a mosquito, you in trouble.  Nobody likes us. They just smack.See a mosquito, smack, smack!  At least you're out in the world.You must meet girls.  Mosquito girls try to trade up,get with a moth, dragonfly.  Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.  You got to be kidding me!  Mooseblood's about to leavethe building! So long, bee!  - Hey, guys!- Mooseblood!  I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw?  We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,and it's pretty much pure profit.  What is this place?  A bee's got a brainthe size of a pinhead.  They are pinheads!  Pinhead.  - Oheck out the new smoker.- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.  The Thomas 3000!  Smoker?  Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.Twice the nicotine, all the tar.  A couple breaths of thisknocks them right out.  They make the honey,and we make the money.  "They make the honey,and we make the money"?  Oh, my!  What's going on? Are you OK?  Yeah. It doesn't last too long.  Do you know you'rein a fake hive with fake walls?  Our queen was moved here.We had no choice.  This is your queen?That's a man in women's clothes!  That's a drag queen!  What is this?  Oh, no!  There's hundreds of them!  Bee honey.  Our honey is being brazenly stolenon a massive scale!  This is worse than anything bearshave done! I intend to do something.  Oh, Barry, stop.  Who told you humans are takingour honey? That's a rumor.  Do these look like rumors?  That's a conspiracy theory.These are obviously doctored photos.  How did you get mixed up in this?  He's been talking to humans.  - What?- Talking to humans?!  He has a human girlfriend.And they make out!  Make out? Barry!  We do not.  - You wish you could.- Whose side are you on?  The bees!  I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.Those crazy legs kept me up all night.  Barry, this is what you wantto do with your life?  I want to do it for all our lives.Nobody works harder than bees!  Dad, I remember youcoming home so overworked  your hands were still stirring.You couldn't stop.  I remember that.  What right do they have to our honey?  We live on two cups a year. They put itin lip balm for no reason whatsoever!  Even if it's true, what can one bee do?  Sting them where it really hurts.  In the face! The eye!  - That would hurt.- No.  Up the nose? That's a killer.  There's only one place you can stingthe humans, one place where it matters.  Hive at Five, the hive's onlyfull-hour action news source.  No more bee beards!  With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.  Weather with Storm Stinger.  Sports with Buzz Larvi.  And Jeanette Ohung.  - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.  A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,  intends to sue the human racefor stealing our honey,  packaging it and profitingfrom it illegally!  Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,  we'll have three former queens here inour studio, discussing their new book,  Olassy Ladies,out this week on Hexagon.  Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.  Did you ever think, "I'm a kidfrom the hive. I can't do this"?  Bees have never been afraidto change the world.  What about Bee Oolumbus?Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?  Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.  We were thinkingof stickball or candy stores.  How old are you?  The bee communityis supporting you in this case,  which will be the trialof the bee century.  You know, they have a Larry Kingin the human world too.  It's a common name. Next week...  He looks like you and has a showand suspenders and colored dots...  Next week...  Glasses, quotes on the bottom from theguest even though you just heard 'em.  Bear Week next week!They're scary, hairy and here live.  Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,squinty eyes, very Jewish.  In tennis, you attackat the point of weakness!  It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.  Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?  Quiet, please.Actual work going on here.  - Is that that same bee?- Yes, it is!  I'm helping him sue the human race.  - Hello.- Hello, bee.  This is Ken.  Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, sizeten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.  Why does he talk again?  Listen, you better go'cause we're really busy working.  But it's our yogurt night!  Bye-bye.  Why is yogurt night so difficult?!  You poor thing.You two have been at this for hours!  Yes, and Adam herehas been a huge help.  - Frosting...- How many sugars?  Just one. I try notto use the competition.  So why are you helping me?  Bees have good qualities.  And it takes my mind off the shop.  Instead of flowers, peopleare giving balloon bouquets now.  Those are great, if you're three.  And artificial flowers.  - Oh, those just get me psychotic!- Yeah, me too.  Bent stingers, pointless pollination.  Bees must hate those fake things!  Nothing worsethan a daffodil that's had work done.  Maybe this could make upfor it a little bit.  - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.- I guess.  You sure you want to go through with it?  Am I sure? When I'm done withthe humans, they won't be able  to say, "Honey, I'm home,"without paying a royalty!  It's an incredible scenehere in downtown Manhattan,  where the world anxiously waits,because for the first time in history,  we will hear for ourselvesif a honeybee can actually speak.  What have we gotten into here, Barry?  It's pretty big, isn't it?  I can't believe how many humansdon't work during the day.  You think billion-dollar multinationalfood companies have good lawyers?  Everybody needs to staybehind the barricade.  - What's the matter?- I don't know, I just got a chill.  Well, if it isn't the bee team.  You boys work on this?  All rise! The HonorableJudge Bumbleton presiding.  All right. Oase number 4475,  Superior Oourt of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry  is now in session.  Mr. Montgomery, you're representingthe five food companies collectively?  A privilege.  Mr. Benson... you're representingall the bees of the world?  I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,we're ready to proceed.  Mr. Montgomery,your opening statement, please.  Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,  my grandmother was a simple woman.  Born on a farm, she believedit was man's divine right  to benefit from the bountyof nature God put before us.  If we lived in the topsy-turvy worldMr. Benson imagines,  just think of what would it mean.  I would have to negotiatewith the silkworm  for the elastic in my britches!  Talking bee!  How do we know this isn't some sort of  holographic motion-picture-captureHollywood wizardry?  They could be using laser beams!  Robotics! Ventriloquism!Oloning! For all we know,  he could be on steroids!  Mr. Benson?  Ladies and gentlemen,there's no trickery here.  I'm just an ordinary bee.Honey's pretty important to me.  It's important to all bees.We invented it!  We make it. And we protect itwith our lives.  Unfortunately, there aresome people in this room  who think they can take it from us  'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over,  you'll see how, by taking our honey,you not only take everything we have  but everything we are!  I wish he'd dress like thatall the time. So nice!  Oall your first witness.  So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhaydenof Honey Farms, big company you have.  I suppose so.  I see you also ownHoneyburton and Honron!  Yes, they provide beekeepersfor our farms.  Beekeeper. I find thatto be a very disturbing term.  I don't imagine you employany bee-free-ers, do you?  - No.- I couldn't hear you.  - No.- No.  Because you don't free bees.You keep bees. Not only that,  it seems you thought a bear would bean appropriate image for a jar of honey.  They're very lovable creatures.  Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.  You mean like this?  Bears kill bees!  How'd you like his head crashingthrough your living room?!  Biting into your couch!Spitting out your throw pillows!  OK, that's enough. Take him away.  So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.Your name intrigues me.  - Where have I heard it before?- I was with a band called The Police.  But you've never beena police officer, have you?  No, I haven't.  No, you haven't. And so herewe have yet another example  of bee culture casuallystolen by a human  for nothing more thana prance-about stage name.  Oh, please.  Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?  Because I'm feelinga little stung, Sting.  Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!  That's not his real name?! You idiots!  Mr. Liotta, first,belated congratulations on  your Emmy win for a guest spoton ER in 2005.  Thank you. Thank you.  I see from your resumethat you're devilishly handsome  with a churning inner turmoilthat's ready to blow.  I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?  Not yet it isn't. But is thiswhat it's come to for you?  Exploiting tiny, helpless beesso you don't  have to rehearseyour part and learn your lines, sir?  Watch it, Benson!I could blow right now!  This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella!  Why doesn't someone just step onthis creep, and we can all go home?!  - Order in this court!- You're all thinking it!  Order! Order, I say!  - Say it!- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!  I think it was awfully niceof that bear to pitch in like that.  I think the jury's on our side.  Are we doing everything right, legally?  I'm a florist.  Right. Well, here's to a great team.  To a great team!  Well, hello.  - Ken!- Hello.  I didn't think you were coming.  No, I was just late.I tried to call, but... the battery.  I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.  Oh, that was lucky.  There's a little left.I could heat it up.  Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.  So I hear you're quite a tennis player.  I'm not much for the game myself.The ball's a little grabby.  That's where I usually sit.Right... there.  Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,  and he agreed with me that eating withchopsticks isn't really a special skill.  You think I don't see what you're doing?  I know how hard it is to findthe rightjob. We have that in common.  Do we?  Bees have 100 percent employment,but we do jobs like taking the crud out.  That's just whatI was thinking about doing.  Ken, I let Barry borrow your razorfor his fuzz. I hope that was all right.  I'm going to drain the old stinger.  Yeah, you do that.  Look at that.  You know, I've just about had it  with your little mind games.  - What's that?- Italian Vogue.  Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.  A lot of ads.  Remember what Van said, why isyour life more valuable than mine?  Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!  I think something stinks in here!  I love the smell of flowers.  How do you like the smell of flames?!  Not as much.  Water bug! Not taking sides!  Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!This is pathetic!  I've got issues!  Well, well, well, a royal flush!  - You're bluffing.- Am I?  Surf's up, dude!  Poo water!  That bowl is gnarly.  Except for those dirty yellow rings!  Kenneth! What are you doing?!  You know, I don't even like honey!I don't eat it!  We need to talk!  He's just a little bee!  And he happens to bethe nicest bee I've met in a long time!  Long time? What are you talking about?!Are there other bugs in your life?  No, but there are other things buggingme in life. And you're one of them!  Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...  My nerves are fried from ridingon this emotional roller coaster!  Goodbye, Ken.  And for your information,  I prefer sugar-free, artificialsweeteners made by man!  I'm sorry about all that.  I know it's gotan aftertaste! I like it!  I always felt there was some kindof barrier between Ken and me.  I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well.  Are you OK for the trial?  I believe Mr. Montgomeryis about out of ideas.  We would like to callMr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.  Good idea! You can really see why he'sconsidered one of the best lawyers...  Yeah.  Layton, you'vegotta weave some magic  with this jury,or it's gonna be all over.  Don't worry. The only thing I haveto do to turn this jury around  is to remind themof what they don't like about bees.  - You got the tweezers?- Are you allergic?  Only to losing, son. Only to losing.  Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask youwhat I think we'd all like to know.  What exactly is your relationship  to that woman?  We're friends.  - Good friends?- Yes.  How good? Do you live together?  Wait a minute...  Are you her little...  ...bedbug?  I've seen a bee documentary or two.From what I understand,  doesn't your queen give birthto all the bee children?  - Yeah, but...- So those aren't your real parents!  - Oh, Barry...- Yes, they are!  Hold me back!  You're an illegitimate bee,aren't you, Benson?  He's denouncing bees!  Don't y'all date your cousins?  - Objection!- I'm going to pincushion this guy!  Adam, don't! It's what he wants!  Oh, I'm hit!!  Oh, lordy, I am hit!  Order! Order!  The venom! The venomis coursing through my veins!  I have been felledby a winged beast of destruction!  You see? You can't treat themlike equals! They're striped savages!  Stinging's the only thingthey know! It's their way!  - Adam, stay with me.- I can't feel my legs.  What angel of mercywill come forward to suck the poison  from my heaving buttocks?  I will have order in this court. Order!  Order, please!  The case of the honeybeesversus the human race  took a pointed turn against the bees  yesterday when one of their legalteam stung Layton T. Montgomery.  - Hey, buddy.- Hey.  - Is there much pain?- Yeah.  I...  I blew the whole case, didn't I?  It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died.  I'd be better off dead. Look at me.  They got it from the cafeteriadownstairs, in a tuna sandwich.  Look, there'sa little celery still on it.  What was it like to sting someone?  I can't explain it. It was all...  All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!  All right.  You think it was all a trap?  Of course. I'm sorry.I flew us right into this.  What were we thinking? Look at us. We'rejust a couple of bugs in this world.  What will the humans do to usif they win?  I don't know.  I hear they put the roaches in motels.That doesn't sound so bad.  Adam, they check in,but they don't check out!  Oh, my.  Oould you get a nurseto close that window?  - Why?- The smoke.  Bees don't smoke.  Right. Bees don't smoke.  Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking.  That's it! That's our case!  It is? It's not over?  Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.  Get back to the court and stall.Stall any way you can.  And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.  Mr. Flayman.  Yes? Yes, Your Honor!  Where is the rest of your team?  Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.  Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,  and as a result,we don't make very good time.  I actually heard a funny story about...  Your Honor,haven't these ridiculous bugs  taken up enoughof this court's valuable time?  How much longer will we allowthese absurd shenanigans to go on?  They have presented no compellingevidence to support their charges  against my clients,who run legitimate businesses.  I move for a complete dismissalof this entire case!  Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going  to have to considerMr. Montgomery's motion.  But you can't! We have a terrific case.  Where is your proof?Where is the evidence?  Show me the smoking gun!  Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun?  Here is your smoking gun.  What is that?  It's a bee smoker!  What, this?This harmless little contraption?  This couldn't hurt a fly,let alone a bee.  Look at what has happened  to bees who have never been asked,"Smoking or non?"  Is this what nature intended for us?  To be forcibly addictedto smoke machines  and man-made wooden slat work camps?  Living out our lives as honey slavesto the white man?  - What are we gonna do?- He's playing the species card.  Ladies and gentlemen, please,free these bees!  Free the bees! Free the bees!  Free the bees!  Free the bees! Free the bees!  The court finds in favor of the bees!  Vanessa, we won!  I knew you could do it! High-five!  Sorry.  I'm OK! You know what this means?  All the honeywill finally belong to the bees.  Now we won't haveto work so hard all the time.  This is an unholy perversionof the balance of nature, Benson.  You'll regret this.  Barry, how much honey is out there?  All right. One at a time.  Barry, who are you wearing?  My sweater is Ralph Lauren,and I have no pants.  - What if Montgomery's right?- What do you mean?  We've been living the bee waya long time, 27 million years.  Oongratulations on your victory.What will you demand as a settlement?  First, we'll demand a complete shutdownof all bee work camps.  Then we want back the honeythat was ours to begin with,  every last drop.  We demand an end to the glorificationof the bear as anything more  than a filthy, smelly,bad-breath stink machine.  We're all awareof what they do in the woods.  Wait for my signal.  Take him out.  He'll have nauseousfor a few hours, then he'll be fine.  And we will no longer toleratebee-negative nicknames...  But it's just a prance-about stage name!  ...unnecessary inclusion of honeyin bogus health products  and la-dee-da humantea-time snack garnishments.  Oan't breathe.  Bring it in, boys!  Hold it right there! Good.  Tap it.  Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,and there's gallons more coming!  - I think we need to shut down!- Shut down? We've never shut down.  Shut down honey production!  Stop making honey!  Turn your key, sir!  What do we do now?  Oannonball!  We're shutting honey production!  Mission abort.  Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base.  Adam, you wouldn't believehow much honey was out there.  Oh, yeah?  What's going on? Where is everybody?  - Are they out celebrating?- They're home.  They don't know what to do.Laying out, sleeping in.  I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his wayto San Antonio with a cricket.  At least we got our honey back.  Sometimes I think, so what if humansliked our honey? Who wouldn't?  It's the greatest thing in the world!I was excited to be part of making it.  This was my new desk. This was mynew job. I wanted to do it really well.  And now...  Now I can't.  I don't understandwhy they're not happy.  I thought their lives would be better!  They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people.  You don't have any ideawhat's going on, do you?  - What did you want to show me?- This.  What happened here?  That is not the half of it.  Oh, no. Oh, my.  They're all wilting.  Doesn't look very good, does it?  No.  And whose fault do you think that is?  You know, I'm gonna guess bees.  Bees?  Specifically, me.  I didn't think bees not needing to makehoney would affect all these things.  It's notjust flowers.Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.  That's our whole SAT test right there.  Take away produce, that affectsthe entire animal kingdom.  And then, of course...  The human species?  So if there's no more pollination,  it could all just go south here,couldn't it?  I know this is also partly my fault.  How about a suicide pact?  How do we do it?  - I'll sting you, you step on me.- Thatjust kills you twice.  Right, right.  Listen, Barry...sorry, but I gotta get going.  I had to open my mouth and talk.  Vanessa?  Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going?  To the final Tournament of Roses paradein Pasadena.  They've moved it to this weekendbecause all the flowers are dying.  It's the last chanceI'll ever have to see it.  Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this.  I know. Me neither.  Tournament of Roses.Roses can't do sports.  Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?  Roses!  Vanessa!  Roses?!  Barry?  - Roses are flowers!- Yes, they are.  Flowers, bees, pollen!  I know.That's why this is the last parade.  Maybe not.Oould you ask him to slow down?  Oould you slow down?  Barry!  OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault.  Yes, it kind of is.  I've ruined the planet.I wanted to help you  with the flower shop.I've made it worse.  Actually, it's completely closed down.  I thought maybe you were remodeling.  But I have another idea, and it'sgreater than my previous ideas combined.  I don't want to hear it!  All right, they have the roses,the roses have the pollen.  I know every bee, plantand flower bud in this park.  All we gotta do is get what they've gotback here with what we've got.  - Bees.- Park.  - Pollen!- Flowers.  - Repollination!- Across the nation!  Tournament of Roses,Pasadena, Oalifornia.  They've got nothingbut flowers, floats and cotton candy.  Security will be tight.  I have an idea.  Vanessa Bloome, FTD.  Official floral business. It's real.  Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.  Thank you. It was a gift.  Once inside,we just pick the right float.  How about The Princess and the Pea?  I could be the princess,and you could be the pea!  Yes, I got it.  - Where should I sit?- What are you?  - I believe I'm the pea.- The pea?  It goes under the mattresses.  - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.- I'm getting the marshal.  You do that!This whole parade is a fiasco!  Let's see what this baby'll do.  Hey, what are you doing?!  Then all we dois blend in with traffic...  ...without arousing suspicion.  Once at the airport,there's no stopping us.  Stop! Security.  - You and your insect pack your float?- Yes.  Has it beenin your possession the entire time?  Would you remove your shoes?  - Remove your stinger.- It's part of me.  I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight.  Then if we're lucky, we'll havejust enough pollen to do the job.  Oan you believe how lucky we are? Wehave just enough pollen to do the job!  I think this is gonna work.  It's got to work.  Attention, passengers,this is Oaptain Scott.  We have a bit of bad weatherin New York.  It looks like we'll experiencea couple hours delay.  Barry, these are cut flowerswith no water. They'll never make it.  I gotta get up thereand talk to them.  Be careful.  Oan I get helpwith the Sky Mall magazine?  I'd like to order the talkinginflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.  Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.  - What'd you say, Hal?- Nothing.  Bee!  Don't freak out! My entire species...  What are you doing?  - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!- Who's an attorney?  Don't move.  Oh, Barry.  Good afternoon, passengers.This is your captain.  Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24Bplease report to the cockpit?  And please hurry!  What happened here?  There was a DustBuster,a toupee, a life raft exploded.  One's bald, one's in a boat,they're both unconscious!  - Is that another bee joke?- No!  No one's flying the plane!  This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.What's your status?  This is Vanessa Bloome.I'm a florist from New York.  Where's the pilot?  He's unconscious,and so is the copilot.  Not good. Does anyone onboardhave flight experience?  As a matter of fact, there is.  - Who's that?- Barry Benson.  From the honey trial?! Oh, great.  Vanessa, this is nothing morethan a big metal bee.  It's got giant wings, huge engines.  I can't fly a plane.  - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?- Yes.  How hard could it be?  Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning.  This is Bob Bumble. We have somelate-breaking news from JFK Airport,  where a suspenseful sceneis developing.  Barry Benson,fresh from his legal victory...  That's Barry!  ...is attempting to land a plane,loaded with people, flowers  and an incapacitated flight crew.  Flowers?!  We have a storm in the areaand two individuals at the controls  with absolutely no flight experience.  Just a minute.There's a bee on that plane.  I'm quite familiar with Mr. Bensonand his no-account compadres.  They've done enough damage.  But isn't he your only hope?  Technically, a beeshouldn't be able to fly at all.  Their wings are too small...  Haven't we heard this a million times?  "The surface area of the wingsand body mass make no sense."  - Get this on the air!- Got it.  - Stand by.- We're going live.  The way we work may be a mystery to you.  Making honey takes a lot of beesdoing a lot of small jobs.  But let me tell you about a small job.  If you do it well,it makes a big difference.  More than we realized.To us, to everyone.  That's why I want to get beesback to working together.  That's the bee way!We're not made of Jell-O.  We get behind a fellow.  - Black and yellow!- Hello!  Left, right, down, hover.  - Hover?- Forget hover.  This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep!  Barry, what happened?!  Wait, I think we wereon autopilot the whole time.  - That may have been helping me.- And now we're not!  So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.  All of you, let's getbehind this fellow! Move it out!  Move out!  Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,you copy me with the wings of the plane!  Don't have to yell.  I'm not yelling!We're in a lot of trouble.  It's very hard to concentratewith that panicky tone in your voice!  It's not a tone. I'm panicking!  I can't do this!  Vanessa, pull yourself together.You have to snap out of it!  You snap out of it.  You snap out of it.  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - Hold it!- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.  How is the plane flying?  I don't know.  Hello?  Benson, got any flowersfor a happy occasion in there?  The Pollen Jocks!  They do get behind a fellow.  - Black and yellow.- Hello.  All right, let's drop this tin canon the blacktop.  Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?  No, nothing. It's all cloudy.  Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.  - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee.  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  Wait a minute.I think I'm feeling something.  - What?- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.  Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.  Bring the nose down.  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  - What in the world is on the tarmac?- Get some lights on that!  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  - Vanessa, aim for the flower.- OK.  Out the engines. We're going inon bee power. Ready, boys?  Affirmative!  Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.  Land on that flower!  Ready? Full reverse!  Spin it around!  - Not that flower! The other one!- Which one?  - That flower.- I'm aiming at the flower!  That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower  made of millions of bees!  Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.  Rotate around it.  - This is insane, Barry!- This's the only way I know how to fly.  Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this planeflying in an insect-like pattern?  Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.Smell it. Full reverse!  Just drop it. Be a part of it.  Aim for the center!  Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!  Oome on, already.  Barry, we did it!You taught me how to fly!  - Yes. No high-five!- Right.  Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower?  What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius!  - Thank you.- But we're not done yet.  Listen, everyone!  This runway is coveredwith the last pollen  from the last flowersavailable anywhere on Earth.  That means this is our last chance.  We're the only ones who make honey,pollinate flowers and dress like this.  If we're gonna survive as a species,this is our moment! What do you say?  Are we going to be bees, orjustMuseum of Natural History keychains?  We're bees!  Keychain!  Then follow me! Except Keychain.  Hold on, Barry. Here.  You've earned this.  Yeah!  I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfectfit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.  Oh, yeah.  That's our Barry.  Mom! The bees are back!  If anybody needsto make a call, now's the time.  I got a feeling we'll beworking late tonight!  Here's your change. Have a greatafternoon! Oan I help who's next?  Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.  Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.And I don't see a nickel!  Sometimes I just feellike a piece of meat!  I had no idea.  Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment?  Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you.  Sorry I'm late.  He's a lawyer too?  I was already a blood-sucking parasite.All I needed was a briefcase.  Have a great afternoon!  Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,and I can't get them anywhere.  No problem, Vannie.Just leave it to me.  You're a lifesaver, Barry.Oan I help who's next?  All right, scramble, jocks!It's time to fly.  Thank you, Barry!  That bee is living my life!  Let it go, Kenny.  - When will this nightmare end?!- Let it all go.  - Beautiful day to fly.- Sure is.  Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office.  You have gotto start thinking bee, my friend.  - Thinking bee!- Me?  Hold it. Let's just stopfor a second. Hold it.  I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.Oan we stop here?  I'm not making a major life decisionduring a production number!  All right. Take ten, everybody.Wrap it up, guys.  I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

[stagesofabreakup]

Stages of a Breakup: Week 42

1. Wake up feeling empty

2. No Costco trip

3. What will you do for Christmas?

4. What is money

5. Work out

6. Make a plan to go to a mic with a girl you haven’t met yet

7. Stay home and watch The Office instead

8. Decide to make Christmas cookies at like 1:00am

9. Substitute like 5 different ingredients because you didn’t have all of them in your house

10. They’re only ok tasting, but you feel a lot better for making them

11. Go to your last day at your dance studio easy money job

12. Watch Christmas adjacent movies on HBO Go

13. Gym

14. Get up ungodly early to go to a screening an hour away at a friend of a friend’s apartment that promised free pizza

15. Get offered a beer as soon as you walk in, immediately feel better

16. Take an orange juice first but feel comforted knowing the beer is there

17. Meet everyone/talk for a while

18. Eat pizza

19. Drink 2 glasses of orange juice

20. Watch the movie/play

21. Have a talkback

22. Say things that people seemed to respect

23. Eat apple pie with ice cream

24. Drink a beer

25. Make a friend who worked at Disney in Malaysia

26. Listen to a lot of theatre stories

27. Leave with a group

28. All walk to the train together/get on the same train

29. Lose respect for the guy who made the movie you liked 2 seconds ago because he makes three rapid fire sexist comments/feel like he’s hitting on you

30. Be shocked when, after he gets off at the next station, your friend tells you that’s the guy she’s been in love with for three years

31. Say bye to her a few stops later after getting all the hot goss

32. Go to the gym

33. Shower

34. Change

35. Go to a show at a pizza place

36. They all came to the show

37. Get a free slice and beer

38. Buy another two dollar beer

39. Have an ok set

40. Feel rusty but good

41. Sit with your friend who is leaving after her set to get on a bus to go home for Christmas

42. Eat the rest of the pizza she leaves when she goes

43. Talk to the people after for a min

44. Go home

45. Wake up early and travel an hour to your friend’s house to hang with her and her parents (in town for the holidays-you grew up with them) because you’re missing her party tonight

46. Have 2 glasses of wine and lots of cheese and a biscuit with jam

47. Feel happy

48. Give her a Christmas card you wrote

49. Get hissed at by her cat who’s a real big personality

50. Leave to get to your job

51. Take a beautiful picture of the city from the overpass by the train station

52. Be 20 minutes late to your job

53. Have your first real shift at the axe throwing job

54. Work 4 groups back to back without a break

55. Get 40 dollars in tips which isn’t bad on top of the 13/hr you’re already getting

56. Feel way better about the job/competent

57. Get a free beer after your shift

58. Find out that you get half off all drinks sold at the bar

59. There’s a lot of free penne vodka pasta too that you eat cold out of a cup

60. Listen to a co-worker and one of your managers tell drinking stories back and forth that are just them blacking out/peeing on themselves

61. Miss New Orleans where people know how to drink

62. Go home

63. Wake up early to go to Costco

64. Hear an earful from your mom’s cousin who doesn’t think this job is safe/good enough

65. Feel stressed out

66. Spend 246 dollars at Costco-the most money you’ve ever spent at one time/in one place

67. Feel both proud and disgusted

68. Eat

69. Get ready

70. Go to a holiday party your friend Gaby invited you to

71. Arrive, feel disconcerted because you can’t find your friend and don’t know anyone else there

72. See someone you know

73. Relax

74. Put your coat down

75. Get food

76. See friends

77. Sing carols!!!!!!

78. You didn’t know that would be a big missing piece of the holidays for you but it was

79. Decide to sleep over at Gaby’s since her girlfriend got her wisdom teeth out and is staying at her parents’ house

80. Travel another hour

81. Talk with your friend on the train about ideas/catch up

82. Fall asleep watching Bad Santa in front of a beautiful REAL tree

83. Wake up

84. Drink Coquito (your first time having it!!!)

85. Watch an episode of Friends then Bad Santa 2

86. Fall asleep?

87. Get dressed

88. Head to a bar to watch a football game

89. Get sidetracked by a barbershop where Gaby wants to get a haircut before Christmas

90. Go in

91. Wait for like 40 min

92. Call your mom

93. Go to the bar

94. Get a good burger and fries

95. Drink 2 Christmas beers (Mad Elf) that are 11%

96. Get a lil drunk

97. Hear a white woman talking about voting for Trump

98. Watch some football

99. Leave

100. DANCE at Gaby’s apartment

101. Share songs

102. Leave to meet a comic doing a toy drive

103. Travel from Washington Heights to Brooklyn (an hour)

104. Meet him at his apartment

105. Eat homemade pie

106. Take the presents on the train to the hospital (in Washington Heights- an hour)

107. Talk and laugh

108. Go into the pediatric ICU

109. Drop off presents

110. Learn that the security is really intense because “a lot of people stole babies in the 80’s” and that that’s what a “code pink” is

111. Get offered food

112. Turn it down (a first!!!!!) because you’re shy and don’t want to take from doctors and nurses

113. Go back to Brooklyn (an hour!!!)

114. Text with the comic the whole time

115. Keep texting him until almost 5:00am

116. Realize you have a crush on him

117. Buy him a bowtie on Etsy for 9.00 dollars when he says he hasn’t gotten a Christmas present since he was eleven

118. Sleep

[sandiegodjstaci]

Cristina & Stephen’s Halloween-y Redwood Circle Wedding in Balboa Park

Cristina & Stephen’s Halloween-y Redwood Circle Wedding in Balboa Park

Of all the San Diego wedding DJs in America’s finest city, Cristina and Stephen chose me to DJ and MC their Balboa Park Redwood Circle wedding on Friday, October 27, 2017…in fact, they chose me 2 1/2 years ago based on my listing on OffbeatBride.com!!! Back then, we all lived south of the border in Mexico and met up at my house in Tecate for dinner, discussing what they hoped to be the world’s most fab Halloween wedding!

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci

THE LOVE STORY

Cristina & Stephen met in Spring 2008, at Southwestern College when Stephen said ‘hi’ but Cristina was too absorbed in the book she was reading to look up. They bumped into each other several times after that…until finally they found themselves at a bonfire with friends in October 2013. This was the first time they held hands…ahhh! They made it official in February of 2014.

The connection between Cristina & Stephen was pretty much immediate. They both knew they loved each other but neither said anything. One night when Stephen dropped Cristina off, they sat in awkward silence when it was time to say good-bye. Cristina finally blurting out, “I love you too,” as if Stephen had said it first even though he had not! Stephen was dumb-struck and just responded with, “Yeah goodnight.” Cristina rushed away extremely embarrassed. Two or three nights later, Stephen went out drinking with some friends, and around 1:00 am, Cristina got a text from him saying “I love you.” The old drunk text saved the day!

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci

  Together, Cristina & Stephen enjoy binge watching historical dramas, cuddling with their animals, cooking, doing puzzles and crafts, and playing Legends of Zelda. They have read the entire Harry Potter series together as well as Blood Bound and Heart of Steel.

THE HALLOWEEN-THEMED REDWOOD CIRCLE WEDDING CEREMONY

So this Balboa Park Redwood Circle daytime wedding was 2 1/2 years in the making…what’s another 2 hours? OK, it is true this is the latest wedding I’ve ever been to in my entire DJ career (her dress zipper got stuck!), but this small crowd of 40 people pretty much expected it. Cristina’s dad joked with me as we waited that his daughter will be late to her own funeral!

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci

  Good thing I had 2 hours worth of classical music for the ceremony prelude. The wedding party sprinted down the aisle to “Concerning Hobits” from the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack. Cristina and her parents walked down the aisle to Brian Crain & Rita Chepurchenko’s “Butterfly Waltz.” After a creative AF Halloween-themed wedding ceremony written by yours truly, the love birds exited to a piano cover of the “Addams Family” theme song.

Here is a brief excerpt from Cristina & Stephen’s ceremony introduction:

I actually want to start today by talking about two people who are not with us—well, they’ve actually never been with us–Morticia & Gomez Addams. Good name drop for a Halloween wedding, right? If you’ve ever seen The Addams Family—the show or the movie—you know that Morticia & Gomez have A LOT of passion, put their family first, and make a special effort to understand one another’s quirkiness. No wonder they’ve been called the best couple in movie history.

Gomez is always taking his bride’s hand and kissing up and down her arm. These two tear it up waltzing and tango-ing around the dance floor. They have their own code language consisting of English, Spanish, and French. And they keep their senses of humor…like when Morticia tells Gomez who is working hard on something, “Don’t torture yourself Gomez…that’s my job” (wink, wink).

(c) San Diego DJ Staci

  Here are their vows:

Stephen, please repeat after me:

I promise to work as a team with you / to follow our motto “we’ll figure it out” / to say “I love you” everyday / and, like Morticia & Gomez, / to be passionate, understanding, and prioritize “us.”

On the original Addams Family show, Morticia said to Gomez, “When we’re together, darling, every night is Halloween.” Stephen, do you promise to honor these vows spoken today and make everyday feel like Halloween?

[I do.]

THE BALBOA PARK REDWOOD CIRCLE WEDDING RECEPTION

Eat, drink, and be scary! The bridesmaids came in for the Grand Entrance to Pink’s “Raise a Glass.” The groomsmen were introduced to PSY’s “Gangnam Style.” Cristina & Stephen were officially presented as Dean Martin’s “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head” played. They cut their gothic wedding cake to “On Top of the Universe” by Steam Powered Giraffe. At this purple, red, and black/white damask Redwood Circle wedding, guests passed the waiting time with giant Jenga and my photo booth…the Shoe Game was also a fun diversion (see it on the video below). Although this was Balboa Park wedding was a “no dance” reception, Cristina did still toss her bouquet to Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me with your Best Shot.”

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci

THE PLAYLIST

For the cocktail hour/dinner/after-dinner playlist at this Balboa Park Redwood Circle wedding, the groom requested:

“Diamonds” Steam Powered Giraffe

“Burning Desire” Lana Del Rey

“Thinking out Loud” Ed Sheeran

“Auld Lang Syne” Susan Boyle

“Come What May” Moulin Rouge soundtrack

“Make it Rain” Foy Vance

“You are my Sunshine” Jasmine Thompson

“The First Time I ever Saw your Face” Johnny Cash

“Love” Lana Del Rey

“Marry You” Bruno Mars

“Take my Hand” Emily Hackett

“Once upon a dream” Lana Del Rey

“I Won’t Back Down” Johnny Cash

“Away from the Things of Man” Abney Park

    Cristina requested:

“De Viaje” Sin Bandera

“My Woman, my Woman, my Wife” Dean Martin

“En tus Púpilas” Shakira

“Bound to You” Christina Aguilera

“A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square” Bobby Darin

“Bendita tu Luz” Maná

“Besame Mucho” Dean Martin

“Amor Real” Sin Bandera

“Glow Worm” Mills Brothers

“Eres Unico” Rocío Dúrcal

“Beyond the Sea” Bobby Darin

“Adiós Melancolía” Ricardo Arjona

“Orange Colored Sky” Nat King Cole

“Amor Real” Sin Bandera

“You’re Nobody till Somebody Loves You” Dean Martin

“Para Obtener un Si” Shakira

“Mona Lisa (When She’s Sad)” Jay Loftus

“Mr. Wonderful” Peggy Lee

“Eres mi Reiligión” Maná

“Dream Lover” Bobby Darin

“Me and my Baby (Saturday Night)” Steam Powered Giraffe

“No te Cambio por Nada” Ricardo Arjona

“It Had to be You” Dean Martin

“Me Gustas Mucho” Rocío Dúrcal

“This Could be the Start of Something Big” Bobby Darin

“Kiss Me” Sixpence None the Richer

“A la Medida” Ricardo Arjona

“That’s Amore” Dean Martin

“Head over Feet” Alanis Morrisette

“Dia de Enero” Shakira

“I’m Beginning to See the Light” Bobby Darin

“Wonderwall” Oasis

“Tu Casa es Casa de Locos” Ricardo Arjona

“At Last” Etta James

“ABC” Sin Bandera

“Sway” Dean Martin

“Motivos” Luis Miguel

“I will Always Love You” Whitney Houston

“Amor Real” Sin Bandera

Again, I was honored to be the one and only San Diego wedding DJ Cristina and Stephen trusted with their Balboa Park Redwood Circle wedding. Thank you!

  SAN DIEGO WEDDING VENDOR LIST

Here is the team of San Diego wedding vendors I had the pleasure of working with at this spooktacular Friday wedding:

Venue  ➔  Balboa Park Redwood Circle

Catering ➔  Costco

DJ/Photo Booth/Ceremony Writing  ➔  Staci Nichols

Photography ➔ Friend of the bride, Michelle

Officiant ➔ Bill Martinez from B&C Enterprises

Videography ➔ DIY

Flowers ➔ DIY

Cake ➔ DIY

[againjack]

Meeting the parents

Again I arrived at Colby’s place before he did. I managed to get the hidey key thing open and was walking his dog when he got home. He was very grateful that I just took charge and did helpful things. I was somewhat surprised that he didn’t kiss me hello, but then I didn’t go out of my way to either so I have to take some responsibility there. 

Dinner was fantastic. The place was great: amazing food (even better than the fancy pants restaurant the night prior), great service, and we sat outside. While the trains going by often made things interesting conversation wise, and it was humid as fuck. But being outside, under the vine covered pergola with cafe lights was so romantic and cozy. It felt downright European. 

His parents both hugged me on being introduced. They are so fantastic and wonderful. When his mother asked how we met, Daniel told his story, then insisted I tell my version as well. ;) We all really got along very well. I couldn’t be luckier or happier. 

When Colby invited me to dinner at his parents he hadn’t even told his mom or asked her if it was ok because she was clearly surprised when he mentioned it. She rolled with it though and was very glad to have me join them. She refused all my attempts to offer to bring something. 

I had missed Colby’s dad saying “order anything you want” so I was surprised and dismayed when Colby’s mom got the check. More horrified, since I got a dessert AND tea when they only got coffee. Granted, Colby also got a coffee and dessert, which he shared with his mom. Though both Colby and his mom got a soup; Colby and his dad got the same entree which cost more than my or Colby’s mom’s entree. So I think it evens out. But still, I had thought Colby would cover dinner. 

Colby relished telling his mom some of my quirks - like food preferences (like what not to eat) and how he and I have opposite tastes when it comes to many things, especially desserts. I then gave my common quip about, “If you like it, more for you. If I like it, more for me!” His mom approved of this sentiment. lol 

On the way back to his place after dinner we stopped at Publix to shop (traditionally Jews donate food on Yom Kippur (yes, when we are fasting.) ) It was fun shopping together, making decisions together, etc. He was also impressed with my being able to eyeball how much and what would fit in the bag he had. And sure enough, it all fit in that one bag. It was a small paper bag(about half the size of the old fashioned grocery paperbags.) 

One of the things I mentioned to him was how lucky he is with his family. He admitted that he was aware how lucky he is on that point. 

I had another one of those not quite deja vu but not quite that world shifting “this is a sign” feeling either when we went down the baby isle to get diapers for the bag. 

When we got back to his place his mom had already emailed him asking if they behaved ok. lol Apparently she was as nervous about trying to impress me as I was of doing the same for her. I guess I did a good job. lol I made sure he responded to her quickly so that she didn’t worry. 

Colby had an HOA issue he had to deal with. So we got ready for bed and hung out in his office, him on facebook and doing the HOA stuff (and I think some work stuff) while I played on my phone and we had Shawshank on. It was a lovely back and forth of sharing things, laughing together, and just... being together. 

It was funny, at one point he was scrolling through the weekly sales at Costco. We have an ongoing silly argument about BJs vs Costco. He thinks he will “convert” me to being a raving fan of Costco. It’s a harmless rivalry of sorts. He was saying things he wanted to do to renovate his guest bath (that is essentially my bathroom.) It is great that we have similar tastes for interior design (and many other things.) Then he told me it was the Costco website (he hadn’t said that before hand) and joked that I just liked something at Costco. I sarcastically said, “I love you, Daniel” and flipped him the bird. He saw it, turned around, then had to turn back to me to confirm I was giving him “the look” and actually giving him the bird. He got the point that he took it a wee bit too far.

At one point I was just done, so I crawled into bed and read for a while. Luckily he was almost done, so by the time I was mostly asleep was when he came to bed. We did our cuddle routine. Both of us had trouble sleeping. He was up three times and got pissed off each time. Luckily he fell back asleep quickly each time. 

In the morning he told me he had some dreams about us doing things together. Being dreams they were really hazy to him. It gave me warm and fuzzies that he was dreaming of us being together, no matter what it was, since it was together as a team rather than being counter to each other. Of course it took me way less time to get ready than he did, so I helped out with getting his dog prepped. When we parted ways, after we kissed good bye, he thanked me for being helpful. That was nice. :)

[helatherwhite]

My Family’s AMAZING CBD Experience

This is a post that I never thought I would write.

My family and CBD–as in hemp. Seriously.

Well, I'm writing this.

CBD, CBD oil, medical marijuana, and hemp oil have all been in the news a lot recently.

And it's all created quite a stir. People have been touting the beneficial effects of the hemp and marijuana plants (they are 2 different things), but I remained fairly skeptical. I mean, I really love this Vegan Ranch Dressing that's loaded with hemp seeds, but this?

Yeah, right.

I would see articles about people feeling better while using marijuana for medicinal purposes, and I would hesitatingly think I supported this kind of use, but something always held me back.

Well, I'm glad that something budged.

No, we haven't used medical marijuana, but we did end up using a CBD-rich hemp oil, and it has literally changed out lives.

A number of months ago, I became aware of a company that was selling this oil. I showed my husband the information and he said, “Get it.”

So, I did.  Apparently he had just seen an article by a conservative author who had been a former skeptic, turned “believer” when she tried medical marijuana on her son.

Well, long story short, I started doing research and was pretty excited about what I found, but I kept digging and digging and of course wanted to try it on my family before saying anything to my readers.

Now do I have a story to tell.

My Family's Hemp Oil / CBD Experience

Now, CBD and this hemp oil are not to be confused with marijuana or pot. This is hemp oil – nano-enhanced, CBD-rich hemp oil. Totally different story.  So no worries about it being illegal in your state–this is legal in all 5o states.

I was nervous about medical marijuana and all and was wondering about it. I'm not one for big government, but still, it made me nervous, and I have a friend in CO who was telling me about her concerns, about pot shops opening up everywhere and car accidents related to smoking marijuana becoming more commonplace.

But this is different. This is “Healthy–Not High.”

If you are interested in how this oil might benefit you, you can do an internet search for “CBD & ____” filling in the blank for whatever health condition you are thinking about and see what the research says.

Well, today I'm sharing something with you that I NEVER expected I would be writing.

First, because it has to do with hemp, and secondly because of what it's done for my son.

Get ready to be amazed. My eyes are literally welling up with tears as I write this.

My Son's CBD Experience – Panic Episodes Gone. And more.

Panic Episodes

Literally, since the day he started taking this, my son has had none. ZERO panic episodes. None.

Two to three weeks after he started using this nano-enhanced CBD-rich hemp oil, we had an incredibly stressful week. My sister and her boyfriend came into town and we went around town with them and stayed up 'til the wee hours of the morning talking.

And talking. And not just about simple things–these were deep talks about intense topics. They were actually amazing but stressful in a good way.

Then came the real test.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (which is on the spectrum) about 9 years ago. One of the symptoms of Asperger's is focused attention, or an obsession, about a certain topic, or topics. My son's current (and long-standing) obsession is sports. He loves watching sports, listening to sports, reading about sports, memorizing sports rules, learning sports statistics, and playing sports. Sports, sports, and more sports.

He's been playing hockey for awhile now, which is his favorite sport of all time.

Anyhow, the week that my sister and her boyfriend were visiting overlapped with his hockey camp.

CBD Experience–Test #1:

We were in the middle of preparing a late dinner and my husband took my son to his camp. It wasn't the best timing, but he wanted to go. About 20 min or so after they left, the phone rang. It was my son.

Son: “Um…Mom, I got the times wrong and today's camp is over. They changed the schedule and I missed the email.”

Me: “I'm sorry. Well, at least you get to come home and spend time with us.”

Son: “Yeah.”

Me: “Are you OK?”

Son: “I'm fine. See you soon.”

I asked him again if he was OK because I couldn't believe my ears. I thought he was just stuffing the panic down. But he wasn't. He repeated that he was OK and they came home and we had a great rest of the evening together.

Now, typically missing something sports related, especially hockey, would have resulted in a LOT of stress. As in a panic episode.

But this time–nothing.

Oh – I almost forgot to mention that the man who runs the league had basically chewed him out for missing the practice, even though it really was partially the team's oversight–they had sent out 2 emails with one time listed and then a later email that had the corrected time, but the subject line didn't mention the time change so my son missed it.

Typically getting reprimanded by an authority figure is another thing that would set my son off big time, but he weathered this OK too.

CBD Experience–Test #2–the Next Day

So the next day, our company left. We hadn't gotten much sleep at all the night before (as in worst bedtime we had ever had) and said good-bye to them after spending some time at a local large botanical garden in 90-degree weather. We had plans that evening, so we went home and got some things together and then headed out the door, planning to drop my oldest off at the now infamous hockey camp, but we were running late.

When we were almost there, my son realized that he had forgotten his socks. (Note–it was summer – typically he doesn't have to remember socks since he's normally skating in the winter and well, he's wearing them :)!) Anyhow, my husband got mad at him, but my son said pretty calmly, “That's OK–I'll just go to the cookout with you.”

Now, this might not seem like a big deal to you, but again, we're talking hockey and we were already late (a stressor) and my son didn't really want to go to the cookout since he didn't know any friends of his that would be there.

Let me lay this out for you–typically in this kind of situation, he would have started yelling and getting very upset and Son #2 would start teasing Son #1. Which would end up making Son #1 REALLY upset and then dad would be yelling, fearing he was going to get in an accident. Yup – total family CHAOS!!

This time? Nothing.

Now we realized something was really going on.

Something had changed.

What would have normally led to a full-blown episode was just no. big. deal.

Over the next week or so, our son (and we) noticed other things that had changed. He had:

Flexibility – while doing family exercise, our son is able to bend farther and is more flexible overall. We do T Tapp Basic Workout Plus.

Social Skills  – when approaching and interacting with other kids and when talking with other adults, things are so much smoother and his eye contact is much better!

Household Chores – These have been a problem in our home. No one likes doing them, but our oldest has struggled with not knowing what to do and needing direction pretty much all the time. Well, since starting this oil, he's a different kid. He actually walks around finding ways to help. Without being asked.

I'm simply amazed.

We (and he) still keep noticing things. One weekend, we ran into a friend at Costco. We talked forever (she's that kind of friend :)), and she was amazed at the changes in him. So much so that she came over that week to get a bottle of the oil that we he was using.

I seriously wouldn't be surprised if my son tested off the spectrum at this point. I'm nervous saying that, but it's the truth.

And, there's more….

My Husband's CBD Experience

Focus, Motion Tummy, Sleep, and Improved Digestion (yup–poop is better!)

I'll share more about these issues later, but quickly I'll touch on 4 ways that this oil has helped my husband.

Focus – My husband LOVES books. I like books, but not this much. He is an English Professor and has LOADS of books. I especially don't like moldy books (see this post on mold toxicity to see why). Well, he has a lot of old books in his office and every time we go there, they make the boys and I not feel well. I've asked him to ditch them for years, but he didn't. After using this oil for about 2 weeks, we went to his office and I started moving some books out. He wasn't happy but soon he was doing it too.

Next day he called from his office telling me he'd gotten rid of 100+ books!

Motion Sickness – Flying and my hubby don't get along well. Typically every 4th flight or so he will vomit on a plane. Well, when  a recent trip, he texted me from the driveway “4 flights–no nausea!”

I didn't know what to think, but I quickly googled “CBD + motion sickness” and sure enough–it was the oil!!

Digestion – For years, poor digestion has been one of my husband's “issues”. Well, since starting the oil, he's actually maybe been in the bathroom more than usual so I didn't think to talk about it and wasn't really expecting anything.

Well, about a week ago, a friend asked me about a digestive autoimmune condition that she has and I remember that my husband had the same diagnosis. So I went and asked him how “poop” was going.

I said, “So I've noticed you've been in the bathroom more recently. Can you tell me if you've been in there longer because you've been having the same issues in the bathroom or have you been reading books on your new cell phone?”

To which he answered:

“I've been reading.”

And then he told me some things about his poop that you don't need to know.

Let's just say pooping is a lot better :).

Son #2's CBD Experience

Other son – severe head pains that led to vomiting on occasion. He hasn't been as consistent in using the oil but these have been significantly reduced.

So now I just need to get him to be more consistent with all of his supplements and see where this leads us :).

My CBD Experience

I'm weathering late nights and stress better and feel immediately more relaxed when using this oil. So does my son.

Now, every person is different. Will you see the same things if you try it? I don't know. I just know what it's done for us and I'm amazed.

  Here are the Basics about this CBD-rich Hemp Oil:

Purity: This oil tests pure and well, you already know that I care a TON about purity if you saw this post on pure essential oils.

Apparently many of these oils on the market aren't pure and don't even have much CBD in them, so buyer beware!

Bioavailable: Typically this type of oil is only 10-30% bioavailable, while this oil is about 100% bioavailable, so your body can use all of the good stuff that is in it.

Clean: The hemp for this oil is sourced from 40-100-year old family-owned farms in Europe. Non GMO, free of herbicides and fungicides. Equivalent to Triple-A organic farms in the US.

Want to Learn More about CBD?

If you're wondering if this can help you, or someone you love, there are many things that people are seeing CBD benefits. Just google any illness or condition and CBD. Prepare to be amazed. This is really going to be something.

Projectcbd.org is a good place to investigate too.

Conclusion

I'm sitting here again, literally tearing up as I write this. We've literally spent thousands and thousands of dollars on medical treatments for our son. I'm not knocking doctors and alternative practitioners, but the things that have made the BIGGEST difference for him have been getting sugar out of his diet and THIS oil.

I wish I'd found it sooner.

So, I'm sure you all would like to know more….so full disclosure–this nano-enhanced hemp oil is sold via a direct sales company. Do I love all direct sales companies? No. But this product is great (possibly the best oil out there) and I think that direct sales is a viable business model. So for now, this is where I'm landing.

Also, my son doesn't want to try another oil. I've asked him and he said “no thanks. I feel too good.”

So that's that.

And you don't need to sell it.

And really — I'm not a pushy person….just a mom who's tried tons of things who wants to help others get help too and not get taken by scammy products and companies.

Of course I'm happy to tell you more about it–about any of this. I could just drop the link to my site here, but I found for me, and for many others, that there are typically a ton of questions about the oil…about how it's made, its purity, what to expect, etc., so if you are interested in learning more, just email me at adrienne {at} wholenewmom {dot} com or wholenewmom {at} gmail {dot} com and I will get you more info.

Have you heard of or tried CBD? I would love to hear about your CBD experience!

  The post My Family’s AMAZING CBD Experience appeared first on Whole New Mom.

[loveinruins]

Are we just friends now?

He messaged me this morning asking if I had gotten the raffle tickets, I was like nah i’ll get them this morning then he goes I’m just gonna tell the 2IC’s to tell their teams respectively as in for us all to tell our teams about the incentive that was running today. I wrote back saying lol someone doesn’t like public speaking orrrrr he goes yeah might burst out in a tear or two but hey it’ll be cute (referring to when I cried because of SS on her last day whilst making a speech to my whole department) and I wrote back i thought as much and he goes right? and then I said not the second part and he goes TL totally licked - trying to be a fuckwit about my initials.

So the day goes on, we don’t talk much whatever I didn’t really care, he skyped me talking shit about work and then he obviously watched my snap story I posted this morning and he goes gotta show me a makeup tute later tho hahahaha and i go lol yeah you need it babe. He replies with ouchhhhh and I go well that’s what you get for your comments this morning. He goes brah brah brah shots fired.

Anyway I didn’t have lunch with him on purpose today because I said I was going to put distance so I went and had lunch with EM and some of the people from her department. It was good to have lunch with not the usual as well even though I did kinda miss him a bit but I was like nah - put space, you need it.

I did see him KT and MT in the foodcourt, I think he saw me but didn’t want to approach me so he kinda just walked off and I pretended like I didn’t see him but I did.

Anyway comes afternoon break, I was on the phone and he came to collect the raffle tickets and whatever by the end of the day MT was like are you coming or? He goes what we’re leaving now? So we all left and he offered to take MT to chaddy because she needed to meet her friend there. So me, him, MT, AC and KT all walked down towards flinders and KT went off to bourke. As we’re walking he doesn’t give me anything, not sure why but he was being cold af. I was like lol k whatever. We get to the station and on the train and it was fine, he was just being normal and we get to kooyong where he parked and AC drove as well so him and MT went into one car and me and G went in his car. He turned to me and was like oh are you gonna come chaddy? I go well yeah.. or should I not come orrr? He like rolled his eyes and  took his time putting water in the window wiping thing of his car and doing some other shit in the car.

A song came on and he goes oh you gonna shazam this one and I go I already know the song actually - I go if it bothers you so much about me “stealing” your songs then don’t play them when you’re with me. He goes yeah but I’m DJ G and I was like ugh whatever. Anyway we eventually started driving and it was fine. We had a serious chat about my sitch with my manager and he made some really valid points about how this is going to test me. 

I did appreciate what he was saying because I know what he was trying to do and that was to try and make me feel better. He even said you know I know you’re there for me when it’s shit too. I go yeah..

When we got to chaddy, I didn’t want to walk around with my iPad in my bag because it was heavy and as I opened the glove box as I normally do to put it in there he had a box of condoms in there. It was like my worst nightmare come true.

Legit I felt sick for 2 seconds and I said T you can’t be upset about it, he’s not your boyfriend, he is a boy, he will fuck anything that moves. As I got out of the car to walk towards chaddy - He knows I saw it and goes sorry, I knew someone was gonna open that and be like wtf eyyy, then he goes yeah needed them for the other day.. like did I really need to fucking know that? Did you have to rub it in my face? I go yeah well at least you’re being safe, you know not fucking bitches and thinking they’re pregnant and continuing to hang out with them once you find our they’re not.. he goes what did you say and pretends to play push me because I was being a smartass about his sitch.

I laughed as I called AC to see where abouts he was. AC tells me he might have to leave to go pick up his cousin from uni cos she doesn’t drive and I hung up and I go AC might have to leave.. We were walking up the stairs to the entrance and I go why does everyone always ditch us? Then he goes.. babe what’s with you planning all these sneaky dates with me? It’s your plan isn’t it? I go lol what? Maybe it’s you that’s doing that since you always bring it up and think and say that and I laughed and he goes in a sarcastic voice yeah babe didn’t you know I’m secretly madly in love with you. I go yeah it’s ok you can just admit it I already know. As I was laughing at my statement he like kinda walked away from me as I was saying that and turned the other way so I couldn’t see his face. I just thought is he turning away from me because he doesn’t want me to see if he was embarrassed orrrr what he was hiding but he was hiding something because he couldn’t look at me in the face when I said that.

We met up with AC and G was like bro why are you going I wanted to see you? We haven’t kicked it in ages and I go yeah AC didn’t you know he wanted to see you not me and G goes yeah exactly. He goes I’ll see you guys tomorrow anyway and then he left. So once again me and G are left alone on a friday. Not that I’m really complaining I guess. So standard he didn’t want to eat at any of the places in chaddy so he goes leggo get kebabs.. I was like where he goes mums.. I’m like fuck no.. really? He goes yeah why not.. I’m like ugh fine if you really want to and he goes what do you want? and mimicks me and says “anything but indian” and I go yeah or mexican and told him why I hate mexican because of that time I got really sick.

Anyway so we decided on kebabs, he took me to some full local joint in dandy, when we got up tot he counter he goes I gotchu here I’m thinking wtf he’s going to pay for me? what in the actual fuck has hell frozen over? But he meant ordering for me.. not paying. I knew it was too good to be true. We ordered and drove to a park to eat because there were not proper tables and chairs at this place. 

We were eating and it was cute, like in a cheap date kinda way. I mean he thinks I’m really boujee sometimes but I mean I just like nice things.. that’s all. I was telling him stories of when I was a teen and he was like lol you’re a hood bitch at heart, you can’t take the hood out of the girl and I rolled my eyes. 

As per usual I didn’t finish my kebab and he was like are you gonna finish your food for once? I go I’m full legit I can’t I literally ate 2/3 of it anyway and I go do you want me to chuck it or do you want it, he took two bites and ended up chucking it and I go why did you give me a look of disgust when I said I wanted to chuck it if you were gonna do it anyway.. drainer and he goes babe I’ll do what I want ok and makes a joke about leaving me at the park if I don’t get into the car because it was really windy and dust was blowing everywhere.

So we leave the park and start driving towards my car and he was being a little shit and I go don’t tell me to shush, it fucking irritates me and he goes I know, I go why do you like to piss me off? Like you actually enjoy it orrr? Do you want me to just flip my shit, I don’t get it.. I go you’re a fucking weirdo. He goes thanks. Anyway so we’re driving and I was like fuck it I’m going to snap him and so I did and the first one he looked so like broady and I go I’m not even gonna story that.. everyones gonna be like who the fuck is that.. he goes what you’re embarrassed/ ashamed of me? I go no.. I never said that - just that snap is too much.. I’ll send it to AC. I then took another one of him when he was dancing like a dickhead to put him on my story but he stopped as soon as I pointed my phone at him.. in the video he looked sooooo fucking cute, like you could see his dimple so  on his face. I’m not gonna lie I think I’ve rewatched it about 15 times and I’ve saved it to my memories.

Anyway we get to my car and as I get out he said something about going tomorrow to costco I go fine I won’t come tomorrow and he goes good and I’m like good you and Marie will go and he’s like sick and I go cya and then he was just like bye and drove off.

So here I am now, his “friend”. I’d rather be that than anything else really, I went onto his insta followers and was looking at the girls that have followed him recently and can I just say.. trashhhhhhhhhhh.

It’ll be interesting to see how it all unfolds tomorrow...