#ok it's almost 8 am im gonna make some tea

[knittedbond]

for as long as i've had her (about 4 months) potato has had the weepiest eyes imaginable like constant crying from both eyes and it's been worrying me since when she came from the shelter she had a respiratory infection and they said when that clears up the eyes would clear up too. but we went to the vet on friday and she gave us an immune supplement and i think it's working thank god but why the FUCK. was it $130

[norrisainz33]

European getaway || cs55

☆ summary: y/n goes on a vacation to spain and ends up meeting carlos sainz by chance. tho she has no idea her european fling is actually a very successful f1 driver

☆ pairing: carlos sainz x nonfamous!reader

☆ fc & warnings: none

☆ requested: yes! thank you sm for this wonderful request

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

ynuser has made a post 🔒

liked by yourbff, yoursibling, friend2, friend 3 and 101 others

ynuser: i could get used to this! me encanta espana

view all 8 comments

yourbff: petition for us to stay in spain forever

ynuser: time to find our spanish husbands so we never have to leave!

yoursibling: europe looks good on u

ynuser: thanks b 💅🏻

friend3: always serving fits girl

ynuser: half of my clothes are stolen from you

friend2: obsessed with you

ynuser: obsessed with you bb

ynuser has added to their story 🔒

[1. girls night out ahead. 2. guys i met a hot man at this club. 3. hehe he’s taking me home. we stayed out so late it’s almost light again]

view all story replies

yourbff: we look cute

yourbff: wait he’s hotter than i originally thought hold up 🤤🤤

yourbff: did you even get his name???? how am i supposed to make sure ur safe if i don’t know his name

ynuser: dude he’s so hot it’s insane and his name is carlos

ynuser: i’m with him at his hotel rn and this man has to be loaded this is the nicest hotel i’ve ever stepped foot in.

yourbff: hot AND rich AND sweet AND a gentleman???????? what is in the water here in spain

ynuser: i just googled his watch that he’s wearing and it’s $300k

yourbff: ok tea……y/n/n i’m so serious you are living every girls dream rn including mine

ynuser: i think i love him

yourbff: ok , maybe it’s time for you to come back to the hotel and get some sleep

ynuser: ugh you’re so right.

ynuser: he called me a driver , i’ll be back soon

yourbff: PLEASE TELL ME TOU GOT HIS NUMBER

ynuser: more than that 🤭 him and his friend are going to take us out for dinner tomorrow and show us around town 😫😍🫶🏻

yourbff: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

yoursibling: girl you wildin and i love it. stay safe pls

ynuser: yes of course bb

friend3: why that man kinda look familiar

ynuser: if u figure it out lmk

ynuser has added to their story 🔒

[1. sightseeing courtesy of our new friend carlos. 3. looks like we found ourselves some dates 😉]

view all story replies

friend2: y/n are you sharing churros con chocolate with a MAN

ynuser: YES

ynuser: i’ve been caught

friend2: you sneak.. i need every single detail

yourbff: i feel like we are in a movie for real

ynuser: i think we might be

yoursibling: how is it that you and y/bff/n always end up in these sorts of romance novel type situations

ynuser: it’s bc we are the it girls 💅🏻

carlossainz55 had added to his story

view all story replies

user1: what are you doing in madrid carlos

user2: OMG WHO IS THAT IN THE SECOND SLIDE CARLOSSSSS

landonorris: and what do we have here 👀

carlossainz55: just some travels in spain!

landonorris: with a girl??

carlossainz55: good catch 😉

landonorris: DETAILS?!

carlossainz55: if you must know and you promise to keep it secret

landonorris: of course mate

carlossainz55: i met this gorgeous girl in a club in barcelona and we hit it off. she doesn’t know im a driver she just thinks im a guy on holiday and its been rather refreshing so now im showing her around spain

landonorris: i support you in this brother but you know you’re gonna have to explain the whole famous thing at some point

carlossainz55: i know i know

user3: just fell to my knees is this a soft launch

charlesleclerc: enjoying break i see 😏

carlossainz55: yes i am 😏

user4: everyone stay calm!!!! stay CALM

user5: so little info here how am i supposed to find this girl by her shoes 🫣

user6: can’t wait till f1gossip sees this

ynuser has added to their story 🔒

view all story replies

yoursibling: hold up did HE COME WITJ YOU GUYS

ynuser: yes 🤭

ynuser: when i tell you i think i met the love of my life

yoursibling: ugh i’m so jealous but also so happy for you!! you deserve this

friend2: bruh he’s fine as heck what is going on here

ynuser: no i know

yourbff: wait send me the pic of carlos and teto carrying our luggage pls im begging

ynuser: done and done

friend3: y/n y/m/n y/l/n have you ever seen a formula 1 race before

ynuser: you mean like the race cars?

friend3: yes the race cars!!!! i’m 99.9% sure that man in your photos drives for the FERRARI F1 TEAM. THAT IS THE CARLOS SAINZ

ynuser: oh my god… you’re right …….. he’s a FAMOUS FERRARI DRIVER?!

ynuser: oh my god he has 10 million followers

friend3: how did you NOT know this!!!!!!!!

ynuser: idk!!! i don’t follow f1!!!

friend3: well now you legally have to

ynuser: clearly omg

friend3: YOURE THE GIRL IN HIS STORY OFNEKGN

ynuser: OMG I AM

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, and 4,255 others

f1gossip: carlos sainz has been spotted getting cozy with a mystery girl in madrid! we think this has got to be the girl who was in the story carlos posted a few days ago. they’ve also been spotted out at dinner with another woman and who we believe to be teto!! no information on who they are just yet but seem by all accounts to not be anyone we know

view all 213 comments

user1: when will it be my turn!!!!

user2: that should be me 😭😭😭 happy for her i guess 😭😭😫😫

user3: so he was soft launching someone

user4: happy for him ig

friend3: ynuser girl

ynuser: oh my god

friend2: girl oh my god

yourbff: omg stop ???? is this movie about us???

user6: do you all know something we don’t

user3: no bc your profile pics kinda be similar to the girl in the pics f1 gossip posted 👀

user6: carlos doesn’t follow them yet but maybe that’ll change

user3: WAIT IT SAYS HES FOLLOWING YNUSER NOW

user5: i am so envious

ynuser has added to their story 🔒

view all story replies

friend3: ok so the fan girls have found us it seems

ynuser: they really have… i have 2,694 follower requests right now

yourbff: the f1gossip account is trying to contact me,, they’re literally in my dms rn…. you look hot tho 😘😍😫

ynuser: they’re also trying to message me too. never thought our trip to spain would end up like this (i’m not complaining this is just a little overwhelming)

yourbff: me neither but if it had to happen i’m glad you met carlos!! you two seem like genuinely really well matched. i know it’s only been like…. 3 weeks but im stanning and shipping y/ncarlos so hard

ynuser: 😮‍💨😭 y/ncarlos omg stop hahaha

ynuser: i’m planning to put him in my pocket and take him back to the states with us

carlossainz55: ay dios mío hermosa chica 😍😍

ynuser: 🤭 you’re making me blush

carlossainz55: good, it’s cute when you blush

ynuser: you really have 10 million followers and drive for the scuderia ferrari huh

carlossainz55: yes mi amor. im sorry for not telling you sooner… i just really was enjoying getting to know you as just carlos and not as the ferrari driver

ynuser: and that makes sense i just … this is all just a bit intimidating

carlossainz55: no reason to be intimidated, i’m still just carlos 🥺

ynuser: if you say so

carlossainz55: i do say so hermosa🤍

carlossainz55: now that the cat is out of the bag…. do you want to come watch me race?

ynuser: you want me to come to one of your races?

carlossainz55: only if you want to! no pressure at all tho y/n/n

ynuser: i’d love to 😫

carlossainz55: i was hoping you’d say that. i’ll make arrangements for you to come to monza 😉

ynuser: italy?! omg i’ve never been to italy!!!!

carlossainz55: never?! oh boy then i have quite the time planned for us

landonorris: i feel like an elite member of a very exclusive club for being able to follow

ynuser: you are!! only 231 other people have the privilege

friend2: please send lando norris my number i see he’s following you now

ynuser: HAHAHAAH i respect the hustle. i tell him about you when i meet him in person in 2 weeks

friend2: IN PWROSN Y/N WHAT

yoursibling: bestie why are race car fan accounts trying to contact me all the sudden

ynuser: so you know that man i’ve been seeing while in spain with y/bff/n? turns out he’s a very famous formula 1 driver

yoursibling: you’ve got to be kidding me

ynuser: i am being very for real

ynuser has made a post 🔒

liked by carlossainz55, yourbff, yoursibling, friend2, landonorris, friend3, and 102 others

ynuser: thank you to spain for literally changing my life

view all 22 comments

friend2: omg that’s where my sunglasses went 🙄

ynuser: idk what you’re talking abt 🤭

yourbff: thanks for going on the trip of a lifetime with me y/n/n

ynuser: i love you bestie 🫶🏻

carlossainz55: and thank you to the universe for crossing our paths 🥹

ynuser: thank you universe, i am forever grateful 😫

landonorris: ok cool girl alert

ynuser: you know it

friend3: i’m not sure how to act normal in these comments y/n

ynuser: me neither

yoursibling: you’re never coming home after italy in a few weeks are you

ynuser: nope!

carlossainz55 has made a post

liked by user1, charlesleclerc, scuderiaferrari, ynuser, yourbff, landonorris, yoursibling, and 783,102 others

carlossainz55: happy for the team, charles and the tifosi. it’s a shame i missed the podium but at least i got to spend my birthday with my favorite girl. until next time monza!

view all 999 comments

user2: ohhhhhh a hard launch

user3: i wish he got a podium in his last monza in a ferrari

charlesleclerc: ❤️ thank you chili

alexandrasaintmleux: cuties 🤍

user4: this hard launch is distracting me from the immense sadness, thanks carlos

user55: she’s living my dream your honor

ynuser: feliz cumpleaños mi amor

carlossainz55: gracias princessa

ynuser: gracias por una semana perfecta [thank you for a perfect week]

carlossainz55: de nada 🤍

user10: you did all you could carlos

scuderiaferrari: we are proud of you chili

user16: you and your big brain still did amazing

yourbff: you did great carlos!

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: likes and reblogs appreciated!! i quite liked this one and hope you did too

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[hulijingemperor2]

Later in the evening, A-Yao, team dimple and Wen Qing made their journey to the cloud recesses.

Wen qing: so your chaos gang will go everywhere with you?

Yao: yup. And I love them for that. I wouldn't replace them with anyone else.

Wen qing: that's nice.

Yao: team dimple mean a lot to me

Wen qing: are they your harem members too?

Yao: yes they are. Along with the other sect leaders.

Wen qing: woww. You're in control I see.

Yao: always.

Wen qing: is it the dimples?

Yao: I don't really know. *laughing*

Wen qing: I have realised that one's bond with another depends on how they treat and respect each other.

Yao: that's so true.

That's the whole basis of my harem.

Wen qing: very healthy, Yao Huangdi.

Wen qing: *almost trips after coming off the caravan*

Yao: *supports her* be careful.

Wen qing: thanks.

Xue yang: look who's falling for Jiggybuns. Don't worry, we all do that spicy Qingqing.

Hop on the trend.

Wen qing: I'm not falling for anybody!

Xue yang: sexy divas can't fall for someone. Cuz they're too busy being hot.

Like look at Jiggy.

Wen qing: is there a day when you're not flirting.

Xue yang: when im sleeping?

Wen qing: *rolls eyes*

Xue yang: supermodel Jiggy and his supermodel business partner.

Yao: lol.

Wen qing: how am I a supermodel?

Xue yang: look in the mirror girlfriend.

Mo xuanyu: Yao gege, is Lan qiren gonna stop us?

Yao: no yuyu. Why would he?

I can visit the cloud recesses as I please.

Lan Furen privileges remember.

Su she: those Lans better behave themselves or I'll behead them.

Wen qing: oh my goodness.

Yao: Minshan is my hard-core, savage henchman.

Wen qing: I see.

Yao: he means well.

Su she: yea only if they don't insult you.

Xue yang: I rather cut off their tongues but ok.

Wen qing: gosh, you still do that?! Xue yang!

Xue yang: i find it's fun. And it makes good tea.

Wen qing: you're insane.

Xue yang: but am I sexy? That's what matters the most.

Wen qing: get a life.

Xue yang: I want to have a life with you, Jiggy and about 8 children.

Wen qing: there's no way I'm making gremlin spawn with you.

Xue yang: Jigggyyyyyy. Jiggy how do you feel about mpreg.

Yao: *laughing* Chengmei.

Mo xuanyu: other woman. I mean Wen qing. I like your makeup.

Wen qing: why did you call me that?

Mo xuanyu: because I'm married to Yao gege and he's mine.

Wen qing: do you want  a piece of candy for that?

Mo xuanyu: *gasps*

Xue yang: I would like that piece of  candy.

Yao: guys, be nice.

Mo xuanyu: ok Yao gege.

Su she: yes Huangdi.

Xue yang: *kisses his dimple* definitely, Jiggylicious. Hehehehehe.

Wen qing: finally, someone who can tame gremlins.

Xue yang: *grinning*

Su she: yuyu literally greets people with, "hi I'm mo xuanyu and Yao gege is mine"

Mo xuanyu: it got to be said.

Wen qing: team dimple is weird. And I'm not going to snatch Huangdi away from you.

Yao: you'll get accustomed their possessiveness.

Wen qing: but they're funny as well.

They all then went through the gate, but some Lan sect members drew their Swords.

Lan sect members: Wen?!

Wen?!

What is a wen doing here.

And with the hulijing Huangdi.

Yao: Minshan.

Su she: *struck their Swords out of their hands with the energy from his guqin.

Yao: *raises brow*

Lan sect members: enter Huangdi.

Yea enter huangdi. Forgive us. And we know that you're married to our Zewu Jun.

Yao: lovely.

Xue yang: you got that right! This is Jiggy's marital home.

Mo xuanyu: he can bring whoever he likes!

Su she: no respect for huangdi.

Yao: *opens fan*

Wen qing: ( that was nice of him)

Yao: Ms Wen. Wen Ning might be around the Huanshi, or in the garden.

Wen qing: mn.

I kinda hate how wangxian have him as a third wheel.

Xue yang: maybe he likes being the third wheel.

Is it a fierce corpse thing? Because Songlan does the same.

Wen qing: what the hell did you do to Songlan again?!

Xue yang: put him in his place.....a little......with some.....resentful....energy. but he's fine! It's like depression. It comes and goes.

Wen qing: leave him alone dude. You put blinding powder in his eyes.

Xue yang: but xingxing gave him new ones. This ungrateful homewrecker attacked me in return.

Xue yang: but how did you know that I put blinding powder in his eyes??

Wen qing: because he came to me! And I had to heal him.

Xue yang: ugh why did you do that for!

You could have left him like that.

Wen qing: I'm dedicated to my patients, xue yang. You won't understand.

Xue yang: I'm a doctor too!

Wen qing: excuse me?

Xue yang: I'm a fierce corpse doctor.

Wen qing: is that even a thing.

Afterwards, while walking down the hall, the siblings caught a glimpse of each other.

Wen Ning: Jie?.....Jie!!!

Wen qing: A-ning!!!

Both: *running towards each other, then they hugged tightly*

Wen qing: *crying* A-ning! I missed you so much, A-Ning!!

Wen ning: I missed you too!

Wen qing: *cries more.*

Wen ning: Jie, please don't cry.

Wen qing: please! Let me!

Yao: lovely reunion.

Su she: certainly.

Xue yang: I never saw her cry before.

Mo xuanyu: I'm happy for the other woman. Yay!

Su she: *glaring at mxy*

Mo xuanyu: I'm very sorry.

Wen ning: *grabs her hands* jie, what happened to you? Where have you been? I thought I lost you!

Wen qing: come. Let's walk and talk.

Wen ning: mn.

Wen qing: A-ning. Born from my own ashes, rose from my own flame, I became a phoenix spirit. And not any ordinary phoenix spirit, but their empress.

I can cultivate with fire, whereas I have healing and regenerative powers. Also my people have the same. They choose peace and medicinal practice over war.

Wen ning: that's amazing. That's so amazing! *touches face* I'm so happy for you!!! You were always extraordinary.

Wen qing: because you're my inspiration!

Wen ning: me?

Wen qing: mhm.

Now where's that problematic master of yours?

Wen ning: must be around.

Xue yang: maybe being railed by Lan zhan.

I'm gonna question him.

Mo xuanyu: he's not Yao gege so that's not my problem.

Su she: all these Lans are shameless. Just shameless.

Wen ning: greetings lianfang zun, Huangdi.

Yao: Gui jiangjun, hi. *smile*

Wen ning: thanks for bringing my jiejie to me.

Yao: I didn't.

She actually came to me.

Also we have become business partners. For now, Ms Wen will stay in Jing Manor for a few weeks.

Wen ning: great.

Jie, it looks Yao Huangdi takes good care of you.

Wen qing: yep. He's a gentleman alright.

Wei wuxian: *walking out of the Huanshi with Lan zhan* wen ning, have you seen that whip?

Wen qing: whip for what?!

Wuxian: *screaming* ahhhhhhhhhh. WEN QING!!!! LAN ZHAN! SAVE ME!

Wen qing: you can't hide from me.

Wuxian: girl I missed you!

But I don't miss your needles.

Wen qing: darn it. I was just about to stick them into you.

Xue yang: *clapping* the scary yiling patriarch who eats human flesh is afraid of a little needle.

Wuxian: what the hell are you doing here.

Xue yang: not only you own the cloud recesses, but Jiggy too.

I accompanied Jiggybun.

Wuxian: lianfang zun!

Yao: wei Gongzi.

Aren't our Lans lovely, giving us the cloud recesses.

Wuxian: hell yea.

Isn't that right, Lan zhan?

Lan zhan: mn. Wei ying's cloud recesses.

Yao: awwwwwww. My Huanhuan says the same.

Wuxian: all Lans are alike.

Lan zhan: Su she.

Su she: glad you remember my name. Took you a while.

Lan zhan: you're not welcomed in the cloud recesses.

Su she: I could go wherever I want. Icy ass Lan.

Lan zhan: you are nothing in my--

Yao: bullying is against the rules, Hanguang Jun. *smiling*

Wuxian: Lan zhan gets agitated whenever he sees Su she's face. Sorry.

Yao: and looking at his poker face in the mirror each morning doesn't agitate him a bit?

Sorry.

Team d: *laughing*

Wuxian: gosh, that burnt.

I....I respect you, lianfang zun.

As a fellow Lan binding bro.

Yao: delightful.

Forgive me for my savageness, Hanguang Jun.

Lan zhan: *offended* mn. Ok. Since you're my brother-in-law.

Wen qing: what have you been up to, farmer Wei.

Mo xuanyu: lol!

Wuxian: just enjoying my husband.

Wen qing: ohhhh.

Wuxian: and what about you.

Wen qing: queening.

Wuxian: *clapping* as you should.

Wen qing: I'm a phoenix spirit now. So.

Wuxian: wow.

Where's Sizhui?! He'll be happy to see you!

Wen qing: does he remember me?

Wuxian: yea he got back his memory. Otherwise I'll make him remember.

Wen qing: he spent too much time with you and your poor memory.

Wuxian: hey! It's not my fault!

Wen qing: A-ning, was Wei wuxian troubling you?

Wen ning: not at all, Jie. *smile*

Wen qing: he's saved! For now.

Wuxian: pfft....I never trouble him.

Wen ning: Jie, do you want some tea? I'll make some for you?

Wen qing: I would love that! Thank you.

Yao: lost your whip, have you?

Wuxian: how did you know?!!

Yao: because I'm lianfang zun. I remembered that was the first thing you said.

Wuxian: quite gifted.

Yao: thank you, Wei Gongzi.

Have you tried guqin strings on your Lan?

Wuxian: no???

Yao: want some?

Wuxian: hell yes. Should I give you something in return.

Yao: mn. Give me some incense from that incense burner.

Wuxian: *gasps* Jin guangyao!! You mischievous little Lan simp!

Yao: I don't simp for anyone. They simp for me.

Wuxian: ahh, love that.

I'll get you some of the incense. But it makes the lans horny, by the way.

Yao: that's what I want. *joking* To drug xichen.

Wuxian: *cracking up* drug xichen??!! you're hilarious!!!!

Yao: gotta love my wicked humor.

Wuxian: I know right.

Yao: does it work on nies?

Wuxian: I'm not sure.

Yao: one way to find out.

Wuxian: lianfang zun, don't you think your collection of turmoil is enough.

Yao: sometimes he gets immune to it. I don't know why.

Wuxian: I think he loves it.

Yao: huh. You have a point.

Wuxian: lianfang zun. I'm happy that Wen qing is back. You know  she's my ride or die.

Yao: hmm, I'm also happy. And she has become so successful.

Wuxian: and I'm glad to see Wen ning this happy as well.

They are really close.

Sizhui: aunt Wen!!!

Wen qing: A-Yuan! *hugs* you got so big! Omg!

This Wei wuxian planted you well!

Sizhui: yea. He got a green thumb.

Wen qing: finally he has mended his idiotic ways.

Sizhui: aunt Wen. I'm so glad you're back.

So you're like a phoenix spirit now?

Wen qing: yep.

*tells him everything*

Sizhui: ohhh.

Then what about the wen remnants?

Wen qing: some became phoenix spirits too. Then some had reincarnated, and maybe some are still in hiding while trying to cultivate a core.

Sizhui: ok good. Uncle Ning and I were trying to find them.

I desire to he a Wen sect leader for them.

I was always inspired by how Wei qianbe protected them. You know. Those were the happiest times.

Wen qing: *smile* may you succeed, little radish. You're capable of everything and anything!

And your aunt and uncle are here, right.

Sizhui: thank you.

~~~~~

Later on, when they left for Jingjing ~

Wen Qing: Yao Huangdi.

Sorry, and thank you.

Yao: for?

Wen Qing: sorry for troubling you and thank you for coming with me to see A-Ning and A-Yuan.

Yao: no you didn't trouble me. And, it was a great pleasure to assist you.

Wen Qing: aw. Yao huangdi, you're truly charming.

Yao: it's truly great that you reunited with your family.

Wen Qing: certainly. *smile* how should I repay you?

Yao: you don't need to.

[nerdybookworm25]

Rambling about Katara and Zutara

Ok so I’m going to kind of just put my two cents out there on this stuff. I joined the ATLA fandom this past summer and just started watching TLOK (my brother and I just finished Book 2 yesterday). This is a hot debate and I just want to ramble on about my opinions on this stuff. A lot of this will focus on Katara’s perspective because I can understand her better than Zuko or Aang due to personal experience. Im just... gonna... get into it now...

I’ll give you some background on me so you guys can understand where I’m coming from. I’m a 15 year old girl with abandonment issues caused by multiple deaths of close friends and family at a young age (my uncle when I was 4, a grandmother like figure when I was 7, my dad’s mum when I was 9 or 10, my great grandma when I was 11, a close friend of my dad’s when I was 13 and many others). I also am the Mum Friend (my friends literally call me “Mum”). I’m the caregiver of the group- the glue, the harmonizer, the therapist, the teacher, the good advice giver etc. (This stuff actually hot me in trouble as a kid and it kind of messed me up). My friends who have seen Avatar have compared me to Katara on multiple occasions and say I’ve got the temperament of a waterbender. You can kind of see where I’d relate, you know?

I do ship Zutara. My brother turned to me during the Book 1: Water- Episode 9~ The Waterbending Scroll and asked, “What if Zuko becomes a good guy and ends up with Katara?” From then on I was on the Zutara hill and I’ll probably die there. It limited ships that I loved from childhood and I thought it would hav been really cool- it would have fit the themes of the show, it would have been a cool thing to see grow and blossom, etc. It had nothing to do with Katara and Zuko being attractive at all- not in the slightest. It also wasn’t me projecting onto Katara. I didn’t really care to notice any major similarities between us until Book Three: Fire- Episode 7~ The Runaway. It was this exchange that changed Katara from my favorite character to someone I could heavily relate to.

Toph: [Sarcasically.] Oh really, Mom? Or what are you gonna do? Send me to my room?

Katara: I wish I could!

Toph: well you can’t! Because you’re not my mom, and you’re not their mom! [Extends her arm at Aang and Sokka, who are sitting on a ledge.]

Katara: I never said I was!

Toph: No, but you act like it! You think it’s your job to boss everyone around, but it’s not! You’re just a regular kid like the rest of us! Stop acting like you can tell me what to do! I can do whatever I want!

I remember bursting out laughing when I heard this. My brother asked me what was up and I paused it and explained that that was a lecture I revived so regularly when I was younger. It really really ended up messing me up. It’s not like I tried to mother anyone- it just happened. I wasn’t controlling it. I didn’t notice I was doing it and I got in trouble. Now things are different and I’ve embraced the fact that I am the designated Mum Freind. Still working on getting over being told off about it in therapy though. Anyway, I think you now can understand where I’m coming from with this “analysis.” Now I’m going to get into it (for real this time lol).

I think I’m going to start with the caregiver stuff. Katara’s mother died when she was very young. It was a very traumatic death. We can infer that Katara blamed herself for this death because the Southern Raiders were looking for the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe- her. That’s a lot for an 8 year old to try to process. Here’s the kicker: I don’t think she ever fully processed it until after Book 3: Fire- Episode 16~ The Southern Raiders. She almost immediately helped her grandmother take up the roll as the woman of the house. She probably didn’t feel like she had anyone to talk to about what she was feeling however true or false that’s what she most likely perceived this to be. When Hakoda leaves for war with all of the men of the tribe, Kanna might be the matriarch and help raise Sokka and Katara but even Sokka admits that Katara became a pseudo-mother for him. Taking care of others doesn’t leave a lot of time to deal with your own issues. Sometimes it feels easier to help others face their demons than face your own.

We continue to see Katara become the glue of the Gaang as the series progresses. She keeps them together in the Si Wong desert after Aang leaves her, Sokka, Toph, and Momo. She’s always the one cooking, cleaning, and mending not because she wants to, but because she knows no one else will do it and it needs to be done. We see her try to coax Toph into helping out around camp when she firsts joins the Gaang. It doesn’t work and this conflict continues for most of Book 2 and the beginning of Book 3. All of this time, she’s making it a point to take care of everyone. When the adults show up after the Boiling Rock, she’s still the one making the dinner and probably does a lot of the other chores as well (except for tea making- this will come into play later).

There’s a running joke about Katara being “Momtara” within the ATLA fandom (more the Zutaraians in the fandom than anything else but it’s a pretty well known concept). We continue to see this when the Gaang is on Ember Island. She brings them all drink during training sessions, watches said training sessions in case someone gets hurt and they need her, wrangles Sokka to the best of her ability, and just generally looks out for everyone regardless of age gap. It’s her natural instinct to be motherly. She retains this quality even after she finds Yon Rha. (Getting closure on her mother’s death doesn’t mean losing what had become a major personality trait).

Let’s unpack that now, shall we? Kya dies and Katara thinks it’s her fault. She doesn’t really talk to anyone about it. A few years later, Hakoda leaves to fight in the war. The Southern Water Tribe recives no letters or news about what happened to their warriors at all. Katara felt like she lost another parent. She nearly says as much during Book 3: Fire- Episode 1~ The Awakening.

Hakoda: You’re taking about me too, aren’t you?

Katara: How could you leave us, Dad? [She attempts to wipe away the tears.] I mean, I know we had Gran-Gran, and she loved us, but we were just so lost without you.

Hakoda moves to comfort her as she turns away.

Hakoda: I’m so sorry, Katara.

Katara: [Embraces Hakoda.] I understand why you left. I really do, and I know that you had to go, so why do I still feel this way? I’m so sad and angry and hurt!

The thing that sets off this exchange is Aang running away for the third time since Katara has known him (the fourth time in Aang’s lifetime). The other times he ran were when confronted by the rude fisherman in Book 1: Water- Episode 12~ The Storm, then again during Book 2: Earth- Episode 11~ The Desert. Aang has a, for lack of a better word, chronic running away problem. I’m not mad at him for it. It makes him an interesting character and shows that he too has flaws (even if they aren’t always addressed but that’s an issue with Bryke). When Aang flys away after waking up during 3.1, Katara is distraught.

Katara: He left.

Hakoda: What?

Katara: Aang. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone, that it’s all his responsibility.

Hakoda: Maybe that’s his way of being brave.

Katara: Its not brave, it’s selfish and stupid! We could be helping him and I know the world needs him, but doesn’t he know how much we need him, too? How can he just leave us behind?

Katara feels abandoned by Aang. This is completely understandable. She has every right to be angry at him and feel sad that he flew away. He comes back every time but I feel like if I were in her position, as much as I’d hope my friend would come back and I’d tell everyone that I knew he would, I’d still be afraid that there was an off chance that he doesn’t. This is a natural human reaction to this situation. People were seemingly constantly fading in and out of Katara’s life and that just wasn’t good for her mental health. It couldn’t have been. This also raises the question of if someone has a very serious fear of abandonment, would it be healthy to be in a romantic relationship with someone who consistently leaves? Personally I don’t think so. Be friends? Sure. Date? I don’t know. It doesn’t quite sit right with me.

Katara probably feels abandoned by Zuko too. During the Book 2 Finale: Crossroads of Destiny, Katara and Zuko bond in the crystal catacombs under Ba Sing Se. They relate over their shared fear of being abandoned by those they love (yes I think Zuko has abandonment issues too- among other issues/fears). When he turns his back on her, she doesn’t live him (obviously). She has cared about him enough up to that point to offer to use what is arguably her most powerful possession to heal his scar. She cares. Because she cares about him then, she is downright livid when he betrays her. (Of course the difference between Zuko and Aang with this is Zuko leaves once and comes back and he doesn’t leave again. Aang leaves and comes back over and over and over again).

Katara: I thought you had changed!

Zuko: I have changed!

Katara carries the weight of his betrayal on her mind until she and Zuko go on their life changing field trip to confront the man who killed Katara’s mother. This was her time to finally get closure. She had probably had these feelings bottled up for 6 years and didn’t act on them. When she finally had the chance, her best friend and brother tried to stop her. She lashed out.

Katara: We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me.

Sokka pauses and stands up, surprised.

Zuko: Sokka told me the story of what happened. I know who did it and I know how to find him.

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

Katara: [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn’t understand. [Begins to walk away.]

Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?

Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice.

Aang: I don’t think so. I think this is about getting revenge.

Katara: [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe it’s what he deserves!

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

Katara: Its not the same! Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he’s a monster.

Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.

Katara: Then you didn’t love her the way I did!

Sokka: [Hurt.] Katara!

Katara gets a lot of flack for this interaction. She says Sokka didn’t love their mother like she did and Sokka I’d understandably hurt. It doesn’t excuse what she said, but people do lash out when they are feeling a lot of emotions and they get defensive when they feel like they’re being ganged up on or attacked (I myself am guilty of this sort of thing). What Katara said was wrong but I have no doubt in my mind that she didn’t apologize to Sokka when he and the rest of the Gaang arrive on Ember Island later in the episode. She is seen walking over to him after she hugs Zuko.

Zuko and Katara go after Yon Rha anyway. For once in her life, Katara is feeling emotions and no one is trying to get her to stop or to push them aside. She doesn’t have to be constantly taking care of someone so she can focus on herself. Katara trusts Zuko more than I think she realizes. I mean she trusts him with a lot and he follows through on a lot of unspoken/subconscious agreements and promises.

Zuko is looking out for her. Zuko has her back. Zuko is allowing her to feel all of these emotions and work them out of her own accord. Zuko isn’t telling her to feel one way or another. Zuko isn’t going to judge her for whatever she decides to do when they find Yon Rha or what she does in order for them to get to that point. Zuko ensures she gets the closure she feels she needs.

When he sees her bloodbend, he’s surprised, but he isn’t appalled. When he thinks she’s going to run Yon Rha through with a giant shard of ice, he doesn’t try to stop her. He lets her be her. He sees a dark side of her in a way that no one else in the Gaang has seen. It’s strangely intimate. Clearly it has enough of an impact to make her forgive him. She knows he isn’t going to abandon betray her and her friend again.

Once they become friends, and even before that, Zuko starts to help out with small things here and there. We see him making tea for all of the kids at dinner. He tells jokes to make them laugh. He teaches Aang firebending. He goes with Sokka to the Boiling Rock to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed or in a prison cell for the rest of his life. With all of this, “Dadko” is born.

If you strip away Zuko’s anger, he just becomes the awkward-turtleduck-first-time-father that we all know and love. There’s more balance in the Gaang with him there to help and become an “authority” figure with Katara. They become the parents of the other members of the Gaang. It’s an interesting shift in their relationship- enemies to unsteady acquaintances to enemies to frenemies to friends. They’re close enough that they show small signs of physical intimacy and they tease each other.

Also if you look close enough when the Gaang walks into the “seedy Earth Kingdom tavern,” Zuko and Katara appear to be holding hands and are near each other from then until the finale episodes. They are clearly just great friends by the end of the show. I mean Zuko also takes a bolt of lightning to the chest for her...

Zuko doesn’t leave when his life gets difficult- not after he joins the Gaang. He made that mistake once and he won’t make it again. Aang was always part of the Gaang but continued to leave (again, I’m not mad at him for it but he never seems to realize the effect it has on the people around him- especially Katara). Zuko also doesn’t all but forget Katara and continue to run around the world. When Zuko fully decides to stick around, you best believe he is sticking around.

This works really well for Zutara. They’re both each other’s rock. They support each other and help each other in times of trouble. Do they argue? Yes. Is that a normal part of a healthy relationship- romantic or otherwise? Yes. Do they take care of and look out for each other while also not smothering or suffocating each other? Yes. I don’t know about you but this sounds stable and healthy to me. They balance each other out so well (I’m not going to get too into that because if you’re reading this you probably already know with the whole Tui and La, Yin and Yang, Oma and Shu thing).

Now, this is a big deal for me and it makes me furious, but Katara is forgotten by history. She has no statue. She is reduced to a housewife and healer- things our wonderful water feminist was afraid of becoming as an adult. I mean this girl

This girl

THIS GIRL

She becomes nothing but a housewife stuck in a healing hut who gets forgotten by the world and left behind by her family just... let’s all of that happen? Yeah that’s pretty unrealistic. I think about this frequently and with starting TLOK I have formed even more opinions and have a little thingy (I don’t know what to call it) for what happened to her.

Kya II is everything Teenage Katara wanted to do and be before settling down. Old Katara is everything Teenage Katara was so afraid of become reduced to/becoming.

It’s an interesting way to think about it and I thought I’d share. Now if Katara was Fire Lady, she wouldn��t end up like that. She’d have the power to change the world and continue to fight for what she believed in. She could have helped with the trail with Yakone. Katara has so much potential to not be forgotten or brushed aside and somehow it happened. It makes me so sad. The potential Zutara had to make sure Katara had a genuine legacy was right there at their finger tips and they didn’t use it. What a shame. What a shame.

With all of the things I’ve talked about, I just feel like Zutara would have been better for Katara than Kataang was. I think that’s more Bryke not developing the relationship well enough and instead choosing to be sloppy and selfish in the way they structured the relationship. Yeah this is my rambling on about the issue. Hope it was mildly entertaining! If you want me to write something about how Zuko would have benefited from Zutara, let me know!

[skinnyghosttears]

May 8, 2021

9:08 am

Feeling skinny this morning, Im less bloated but I'll wait lunch time for weight myself.

I already planned to eat light tomorrow because I'll make some cinnamon buns for Mother's day so I'll eat one. Mom want to do a risotto with radish for lunch and I'll have a very light soup for dinner, it should be fine. I wanted to drink some soy milk this morning but Im enjoying not feeling too much bloated so nvm lmao.

I'll maybe go to the store because we finished the butter and I need it for tomorrow, but idk if I feel good enough for go with the bike.

I thought aa lot about my current situation and I feel stuck, I binged so I havent lost weight in the past days (and if I did idk because bloating), my therapist now is more aware of this problem so she will try to convince me to see a specialist, and idk how much time I have until mom will be that worried too. I felt awful when I bought the skirt the other day, like I was feeling not worthy enough to have it. So ig I can lose maybe another 5kg before they'll try to stop me somehow. Idk what I'll do from that on. At the same time I dont have a friend that will listen to me about this as I want, so my mind is completely free to mess with me rn.

I had the worst idea to tell to my father how much I lost and he yelled at me that im fucking crazy and he will force me to eat. Ironic how he started only after I said a number when he praised me so much until now because now Im in a better shape, and most importantly he bodyshame my mom all the time so he literally have no fucking right to tell me a single thing.

Im gonna ignore him all day, I dont fucking care, he didnt cared at all untilvnow so shut. the. fuck. up.

1:09 pm

Burned 182kcal walking in the living room while my parents were out, my dad is now acting like nothing happened and so will I, god I just want to cry and scream. I'll go out after lunch so I can stay away from him for a while.

I weighted myself again before startig to rat and I was 59,35? Is the scale drunk or what-

2:33 pm

Mom will come with me to the store, so I'll drive a little instead of going with the bike.

I drcided to have a come soy milk with cereals as a snack when I'll be back, I deserve it, I want it and most importantly, if my father see me eating that he will shut up.

Im happy to see I actually lost some weight even if ai binged like a pig a couple of days ago, tomorrow I'll probably be extremely bloated because of the pizza but I have to remember its ok.

3:25 pm

Already at home, I decided to replace my snack with some hero marmelade, the entire jar has the same calories as thr other stuff I wanted and it will surely fill me better. I'll maybe walk more since my parents will go out again. I dont want to do a workout, and Im still under 900 with my plan so its fine.

6:00 pm

My parents just came back home, I burned more and Im almost at 400kcal, I will surely reach it walking the dogs.

8:01 pm

Burned a total of 451kcal, not bad since I didnt use the cyclette today. Im gonna eat my first entire pizza since february :') mom wants to eat a piece of cake after it, but its one she bought so I can check calories and if I can eat a piece (spoiler: I surely cant, Im gonna make a tea or a coffee or idk).

10:22 pm

Aaaand I binged. Not too much, Im still in deficit ig, and I font want to feel guilty.

Im ok, I took my time for eat, not like the other times. I'll make some tea now, and tomorrow I'll just stick to the plan.

Everything is ok.

11:34 pm

I had a lot of water and tea, I honestly dont feel full because of food so Im not feeling that guilty. I kinda crave stuff but tomorrow Ihave to bake stuff because of mother's day so why I should eat bow if tomorrow I can eat a yummy thing I'll do by myself? Exactly, Its not necessary.

Im not sure I'll weight myself, but who knows, it depends on how much bloated I'll be.

Goodnight!

[jilyss]

what happens in greece shouldn’t stay in greece

my take on “2 people I know who broke up years ago are on separate romantic vacations w their partners iN THE SAME GREEK TOWN and Im just sitting here watching it unfold on ig, where they have each other blocked. ”

read on Ao3

Lily stretched out onto the warm sand, letting it settle around her fingers and toes. Sighing happily, she shifted so that her head was resting on her boyfriend Blake’s stomach. His fingers moved to play lazily with her red hair tied back in a messy bun, and she closed her eyes, letting the sun coat her skin. 

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” Blake murmured, and she could feel the rumble in his stomach as he spoke. They were on a vacation in Lindos, Greece, a small town on the coast. While it was still a touristy town, it was relatively quiet compared to the busy city of Athens they had visited yesterday. At the moment, there were only a few families and couples scattered along the beach, splashing in the water and enjoying the sun.  

“The best place I’ve ever visited,” Lily replied, falling into a peaceful quiet. But within a few minutes, she was already hot, feeling a light sheen of sweat break out on her skin. Sitting up, she pulled off her shirt, revealing a yellow bikini. “Do you want to go in the water? I’m a little hot.”

Blake shook his head, reaching for his phone. “I’m good. Maybe in a minute?”

Lily nodded, shifting again so that she was lying sprawled out next to him, and forced herself to relax in the sun.

XXX

Marlene was sitting next to her roommate Dorcas, watching the newest episode of the Bachelor, and mindlessly scrolling through Instagram when she saw Blake’s newest post of his and Lily’s Greece trip. She double tapped it, not thinking much about it since Lily had sent her a nearly identical picture a few hours ago to prove they were still alive. 

She tossed the phone onto the couch and stood up. “Lily seems like she really likes Blake,” she called as she opened the fridge. “Think they’re gonna move into together after their trip?”

Dorcas shook her head. “No way. I mean, she might be ready, but I don’t think Blake is the type to commit this soon. How long have they been dating?” 

“I think they took this trip because it’s been a year. I don’t think that was the ‘official’ reason or whatever, but yeah, it’s been a year.”

“Hmm,” Dorcas said, eyes focused back on the tv. “I hope Lily isn’t expecting anything.”

Marlene closed the fridge, holding a bottle of Dr. Pepper. Sitting down next to Dorcas, she propped her legs up and pulled out her phone again. “I don’t think so. She’s been warier this time around than with her other boyfriends. She always goes into everything headstrong, you know? Loves first and asks questions later? I think she’s trying to take it slower with Blake.”

Dorcas nodded, tucking her legs underneath her. “Hopefully Blake sticks. I mean, he’s a little arrogant sometimes, but I think he’s been my favorite so far, besides James, I mean.”

Marlene snorted. “Just don’t tell Lily that. She’ll blow your head off.” Dorcas grinned. Marlene went back to scrolling through Instagram, bored. 

As Dorcas reached for the chip bag next to Marlene, Marlene suddenly sat straight up, eyes wide and staring at her screen. 

“Wha - Mar, what’s wrong?” Dorcas said, tugging at the chip bag. “Let me have some chips - “

“It’s not that,” Marlene said, waving her free hand frantically. “Look at this.��� She shoved the phone into Dorcas’s face. It showed a picture of James and his friends, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, snorkeling just off the coast of a beach. Dorcas’s eyes flicked up to the location at the top of the picture. Lindos, Greece. Her eyes narrowed. 

“Isn’t that where -”

“Yes! Lily and James are in the same town.” Marlene bolted out of her chair, pacing anxiously around the room. “And I’m pretty sure James still has her blocked on Instagram, and Lily barely checks anyway. Dor, do you know what this means?”

Dorcas rolled her eyes. “So what? The probability that they run into each other is super low, and even if they do, it’s going to end up in a big fight, just like every other time they’ve seen each other since.”

Marlene’s eyes flashed excitedly. “I’m calling Sirius, right now.”

Now Dorcas jumped up, reaching out to grab the phone from Marlene’s hand. “Marlene! You can’t just -”

Marlene jumped out of Dorcas’ reach, standing on the couch. Dorcas followed her, and practically leapt on top of her, laughing as she pulled her down and wrestled the phone out of her hand. 

Holding it above her head, Dorcas used her other hand to push Marlene away. “If we interfere now, it’ll throw both of them into a nervous wreck and ruin their vacations.” Marlene lunged at Dorcas, who stepped neatly away, grinning. “It’ll be much better if we let them just find each other. It’s a small town, there’s a good chance they will run into each other at the beach already.”

Marlene stepped back, eyes widening as she understood Dorcas’ plot. “What happens if they don’t run into each other?” 

Dorcas shrugged. “If they’re meant to be, they’ll run into together sooner than later.”

Marlene snatched her phone back and sat down heavily on the couch. “Fine, I won’t call Sirius. But, if Lily hasn’t seen him by her last day, I’m calling him.”

Dorcas shoved her legs off the couch so that she could sit down. “Deal.” 

XXX

At exactly 8:00 am, Remus’ alarm went off and four men collectively groaned. James, who was sleeping closest to alarm, tapped at the phone’s screen aggressively until he hit the snooze button. No one moved otherwise until it went off a few minutes later, and Remus finally sat up, rubbing at his eyes. “We gotta get going if we want to make it anywhere before all the tourists get there.” When no one moved, he pulled the covers off of Peter, who he was sharing the bed with, who instantly groaned and curled into a ball. 

Remus shuffled out of bed and pulled the covers off of James and Sirius, who reacted similarly. They had been out late the night before, at a local bar and had had one too many drinks, but Remus was determined to make the most of their vacation, so despite his hangover, he was getting up. 

Their Airbnb room was already littered with various clean and dirty clothing items, and when James finally got up, he had to sort through until he found a clean outfit. Head pounding, he got dressed and wishing that he hadn’t gotten so crazy last night. He hadn’t meant to drink as much as he did, but it had been a long time since he had gotten that wasted that he had let himself get carried away. By the time he was finally dressed, Sirius was still in bed. James chucked a pillow at him, and when Sirius didn’t even flinch, jumped on top of him. 

“James - urgh!”

A few minutes later, Remus was pushing everyone out the door, ready for another day in Greece. 

XXX

“Hey babe, look at this,” Blake said, grabbing Lily’s hand, and pulling her over to a vendor’s stall filled with tea bags and glowing candles. Instantly, she broke out into a huge smile. She had always loved candles, especially the smell just after lighting them. 

Lily let her fingers slip from Blake’s to pick up the one closest to her, taking a deep breath of the lemon lavender candle. She spun around, intending to show Blake when she thought she saw a figure pass by in the corner of her eye. Confused at the familiarity of the figure, she tried to step out of the vendor’s stall to get a better view of the person, but Blake stepped in her way, handing her another candle. 

Shaking her head, Lily focused back on Blake. She had to have been seeing things - the chances of seeing him in Greece, were impossible, and it had to have been someone who had a similar body type. 

“You want to get anything?” Blake asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. Lily shook her head, still distracted. 

“I’ve got plenty already. Do you want to go get lunch soon? I’m starving.”

XXX

Later that afternoon, Lily had almost completely forgotten that she had seen her ex-boyfriend’s lookalike in Greece. But not quite. Every dark-haired stranger that was taller than her caught her eye for the rest of the day, but finally, after dinner when they had wandered down to the beach to watch the sunset, she managed to forget about it as she stepped side by side with Blake. 

They had just sat down on a pier bench, with a view of the boardwalk and the beach in front of them, when Blake cleared his throat. “Can we talk for a minute?” 

Lily gave him a questioning look, suddenly nervous. “Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

Blake glanced at his hands, which were twisting in his lap and cleared his throat again. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking… about us.” Lily’s heart rate skyrocketed, and she couldn’t breathe. Blake reached into his pocket, pulling out a small velvet box, but didn’t open it. “A lot of people wanted me to propose on this trip. But you - I don’t think we’re ready for that yet.” He laughed lightly. “But I am ready to make a promise and move in together. I love you, and I know it’s cheesy or whatever - but I know how I feel about you, and I know where I want us to end up.” 

Lily gasped as he opened the velvet box to reveal a small diamond encased in a silver ring. He held the ring out to her, and Lily took a deep breath. 

Unbidended, a memory of the man she thought she had seen earlier popped back into her head. Late one night, she and the man she had been almost positive she was going to marry, had snuck to the top of a building and stayed until the sun had gone down. Wrapped in a blanket together, and laughing together was the happiest Lily had ever felt. 

“Lily?” Blake’s voice brought her back to the present, and she rapidly blinked away the image of James’ unruly black hair and sparkling eyes. “Are you ok?”

Lily smiled, trying to shake off the weird feeling surrounding her. “Yeah, you just surprised me.” She took Blake’s free hand and squeezed it tightly. “I think a promise ring is a great idea. Um…” 

He raised an eyebrow as she trailed off. “Is something wrong?” 

Lily bit her lip, glancing up at him. “I don’t want to put the ring on my ring finger if that’s alright with you? You know how my friends are, and I still want to take this slow so -”

“Oh yeah, of course. I wouldn’t expect you to.” Blake grabbed her right hand and put the ring on her ring finger. “We’re taking it slow, I know.” 

Lily pulled him in for a kiss, taking her time to show him how much she appreciated the gesture. The longer kiss was definitely not because she had thought of her ex-boyfriend when she thought her current boyfriend was proposing and she felt guilty. 

XXX

Earlier that afternoon, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had rented bikes to go up and down the boardwalk as the sun had gone down. The cool air from the ocean mixing with the heat of the day had made everything seem calm and peaceful amongst an orange sky. Letting the wind push their backs, they took their time biking home. 

XXX

Blake stood up, grabbing Lily’s hand. “Let’s go back to the hotel?” He whispered in her ear, sending goosebumps down her arm. Lily nodded, laying her head on his shoulder as they began the walk back. His fingers wandered down her back, and although at any other time Lily would have loved the attention, tonight, she couldn’t stop comparing Blake with James, and she hated herself for it. The unwanted memory that had popped up had brought emotions she had forgotten about to the surface, and the whole reason she was taking it so slow with Blake in the first place. Pushing the thoughts aside once again, she planted a kiss on Blake’s cheek. 

XXX

Sirius brought his bike to a screeching halt, nearly causing Remus to crash into him. As the rest of them stopped, he reached out with one hand to get James’ attention. “Is that Evans?”

“What?” Peter asked. “Are you out of your mind? We’re in Greece.”

“No, no - over there, by that bench. Is that Evans?”

James’ heart rate quickened, and his breath caught as he caught sight of Lily Evans. There was no doubt in his mind that that was her. Her red hair caught in the golden hour lighting, and her skirt swished around her long legs that he knew so well. Swallowing hard, he shook his head. “Nope, not her.” 

Sirius shot him a pained look. “That’s Evans.” He sat back on his bike and stood up to pedal. “I’m going to go say hi. Oi, Evans!”

“No, Sirius! No!” James called after him, grabbing onto the back of his shirt. “You can’t -”

But it was too late. Lily glanced over her shoulder and spotted the Sirius pedaling towards her, and the three men standing sheepishly behind him. 

“Sirius? What are you doing here?” Lily detached herself from Blake, only holding onto his hand now. As her eyes took in the four men that used to be her best friends, her heart twisted painfully in her chest. When James and Lily had first broken up, they had done their best to stay in touch, but it had gotten too hard for Lily to stay near James, and she had eventually stopped returning their calls. 

“I just couldn’t stay away, Evans,” Sirius smirked, stopping right next to them. He glanced over at Blake and stuck out his hand. “Sirius, Lily’s former friend.”

“I’m Blake, Lily’s boyfriend.” Blake tightened his grip on Lily’s hand, pulling her closer, but shook Sirius’ hand. 

James, Peter, and Remus made their way over, and each introduced themselves to Blake. “How’ve you been, Lily? We haven’t seen much of you lately,” Remus asked. 

“Good!” Lily said quickly, trying to break the awkward tension that hung around them. “I got a new job at Time, so I’m keeping busy.”

“What are you guys doing here?” Peter asked. 

James looked away from Blake and Lily, having not said much. They had broken up over a year ago, and he had gotten over her, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt that she had a boyfriend, and especially since he still couldn’t bring himself to date seriously. 

“Couple’s getaway,” Blake said, kissing her cheek and pulled her even closer. Lily tried to smile, but no longer felt comfortable with him in front of her former friends. “What about you?”

“Remus just finished up his medical school, and the rest of us decided to take a vacation before he went into residency,” Peter said.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, Evans?” Sirius blurted out, eyeing Lily and Blake carefully.  

“Um, yeah sure.” Lily let go of Blake, sending him a quick smile, and followed Sirius a distance off to the side, leaving Blake with the three other men. 

“What’s up?” Lily said, folding her arms and watching Sirius carefully. Knowing him, she knew he wasn’t going to be gentle, so she prepared herself for whatever blunt fact he threw at her. Not being one to hold back, Sirius started talking immediately.

“What’s up with you and Blake? Are you guys engaged?” 

Lily shook her head, holding up her right hand. “Promised, I guess. As of today.”

“Hasn’t it been a year?” 

Lily frowned. “A year isn’t a very long time -”

“And yet when you were with James you were ready to say yes within a year. What’s the difference?”

Lily shrugged. “I guess I learned my lesson. I need more time.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “That’s bullshit, Lily, and you know it. What’s Blake holding out for?”

“It’s not him that holding out, it’s me,” Lily whispered, her eyes suddenly stinging. Sirius always had a way of making all her emotions come out at once with his honesty. “I’m just not ready for the next step.”

“You mean he’s not James?” 

Lily glared at him. “What are you trying to do Sirius? James and I broke up because James freaked out over marriage, and said he was never ready to get married and didn’t want any type of long term commitment.”

Sirius shrugged. “I’m not trying to do anything. All I know is that it’s been over a year, and James still barely smiles or goes on any dates. You got a boyfriend three months later, Marlene says you aren’t as happy as you were with James, and you don’t even talk to us anymore.”

Lily let a single tear slip out and brushed it away angrily. She looked over her shoulder, at James and Blake, standing side by side, talking politely. “You know I couldn’t hang out with you guys anymore because James is always there.”

Sirius was quiet for a minute. “Come back, Lily.”

“What?” Lily choked out, brushing back another tear. 

“Ditch Blake. You and James are meant to be.” 

Lily swallowed hard. “You’re talking for James? If he wants this, he should man up and come talk to me himself.”

“No, I’m not… he’s not - look all I’m saying is that-”

“I’m with Blake now,” Lily said firmly, pushing a strand of hair out of her face. “James and I are over. I’m not sure how we ended up here, at the same time, but I would really like to just… not see James again.”

Sirius shrugged, turning on his heel. “Fine.”

As they rejoined the group, Blake tucked Lily under his arm. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, all good,” Lily said, sneaking a glance at James, who was staring at the ground. She waved at Remus and Peter, both standing with their hands shoved in their pockets. “I’ll see you later, I guess.” 

They murmured their goodbyes, and then Lily and Blake walked quickly away. As they made their way to the hotel room, Lily checked her phone and saw that Marlene had called her. 

“Hey, Marly called, I’ll be right in,” She told Blake, and made her way down the elevator and into the hotel lobby before she called. 

“Hey Mar, did you call me?”

“Yeah, Sirius just called me. Said you might need some help. What’s up?” 

“Huh, that’s surprising coming from Sirius. Did he tell you what happened?” Lily collapsed heavily on a plush red chair. 

“That you saw each other on the boardwalk in Greece, but that was it.”

“He thinks I should get back together with James.”

“What?” Marlene shrieked so loudly that Lily had to pull the phone away from her ear. “James wants to get back together?”

“No, no. At least, I don’t think so. Did you tell Sirius that I’m not happy?”

The other end of the line was quiet. 

“Marlene.” 

“Ok, don’t get mad at me, but he called like two months ago? Just to catch up, you know, and I might have mentioned that you were happier with James than you are with Blake.”

Lily wanted to reach through the phone and strangle Marlene. “What does that even mean?” 

“It means that Blake is nice and all, but you and James… you guys were just meant for each other.”

Lily groaned, leaning back, and kicking her feet up on the coffee table. “I’m so confused Marlene.”

“Wait, you’re actually considering this?”

“No, yes, well, no, definitely not, but I thought I saw James earlier today, and then Blake gave me a promise ring, but there was this moment James popped into my head during that and I haven’t been able to shake it all day, and I love Blake and I don’t even know if James loves me anymore, and I can’t just leave Blake because he wants to get married and James doesn’t and -”

“Lily, Lily, Lily, can you please just calm down for a minute? “Look, James wasn’t ready back then. But maybe he is now. And I know you love Blake but are you completely over James? In my opinion - Look, you got together with Blake three months after you guys broke up. I don’t really think you were ever over James.”

“You’re just telling me this now?” Lily sighed. “So what do you think I should do?”

“Call James.” 

“Are you out of your mind? While I’m with Blake?”

“Lily, sometimes you are too good for your own good.” Lily could practically see Marlene’s face through the phone, exasperated and impressed. “You can explain to him later. But you never know what could happen. If anything, it will get you some closure.”

Lily sighed again, sweeping her fingers through her hair. “Fine. See you in a few days.”

After hanging up, she pulled up James’ contact information and set the phone on her lap. She sat staring at the phone for almost half an hour, tapping her finger on it occasionally as the screen went dark. Her brain was a jumbled mess. 

When she had first met Blake, it had been an accident. Marlene had invited Lily to a party but had left twenty minutes in, leaving Lily alone. Blake had taken pity on her and talked to her for most of the night, and before Lily really thought about it, they were dating. Thinking back, Lily wasn’t even sure that she had consciously made a decision to date him, it had just kind of… happened. Obviously, that wasn’t the start to a healthy relationship, but Lily, still in a James induced post-breakup fog, wasn’t thinking straight. 

The more Lily thought about it, she more she realized that she hadn’t been entirely truthful to Blake, not that she had even known. At the beginning of the relationship, she still loved James, and if she was completely honest with herself, she still did. 

Admitting that simple fact, that yes, Lily Evans, still loved James Potter, gave Lily more questions than answers. What if James didn’t love her anymore? Had he gotten over her? Was Sirius right? And if Marlene and Sirius were right about James being ready to move forward, what was Lily going to do about it?

Before Lily could do anything, Lily’s phone lit up with a text from Blake. 

wya?

A second later, her screen changed, indicating a call from James. Heart racing, Lily picked up the phone, at war with herself over what to do. Squeezing her eyes shut as if she could block out the ringing, Lily tapped the green button and pressed the phone to her ear.  

“Hello?” She said softly. 

“Hey,” James murmured. There was some shuffling on his end of the line, and then silence. “Um, Sirius said you needed to talk to me?”

“That bastard,” she swore, sitting back in the chair. 

James breathed heavily on the other side of the phone, and Lily could picture him running his hands through his hair in the angry way that he so often did. “So you didn’t need to talk to me?”

“Um, no. Yes - I mean, no, not really.”

James stayed silent on the other end, knowing that she needed a minute before she could speak. 

Lily bit her lip again, bouncing her knee up and down. “Sirius told me that you haven’t been yourself lately.”

James cursed bitterly again and Lily instantly felt bad. She hadn’t meant to start so abruptly, and that wasn’t she even wanted to talk about. “He said that? Things have just been really busy at work lately, and you know my parents are getting older. I guess I’m just a little stressed. I’m fine.”

Lily nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about, actually.” She took a deep breath as if to say something, but couldn’t form the words of what she actually wanted to say. 

“Ok, I’m listening…”

“Do you still love me?” Lily cursed herself for starting so abruptly again, but kept talking anyway. “Don’t answer that. I mean, when I first started dating Blake, I still loved you. And seeing you today, and talking to Sirius, made me realize that… I might still love you.”

“Fuck Lily, I - you can’t just come out of left field and say that. You - We broke up over a year ago and I - you broke it off because I was scared, how are you still - why would you still love me?” Lily could hear James’ anger in his voice. “You wanted marriage, and I wasn’t ready for it, so you broke it off. And now you want it again?”

Lily’s throat clenched, and she swallowed tightly. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“Do you love Blake? He seems like a nice enough guy.”

“Yes,” Lily whispered.

“Then it seems like you have a problem.” James' voice was hard and cold. “I’m not your second option Lily, and you weren’t willing to just wait  -”

“What do you want now, James?” Lily pinched the bridge of her nose. “Do you still love me?” 

The question hung between them, fraught with tension and longing. It was silent on both ends, and Lily let out a silent, shaky, breath. 

“No. It’s too late. I - sorry.” 

Lily had to hold the phone away as she felt tears stream down her face. “Alright. I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah. Bye.” James hung up, and Lily stifled a sob through her hand. The hotel receptionist sitting on the other side of the lobby cast her a sympathetic look, and Lily realized that she hadn’t exactly been quiet while talking to James. Wiping her eyes, she straightened out her shirt, stood up, and walked back to the hotel room. 

XXX

Lily was able to successfully avoid any questions about her phone call when she returned to Blake but spent the rest of the trip trying to stay as positive as she could. Two days after seeing James and Sirius, Lily and Blake were packing up to return home. 

As Lily haphazardly tucked the last of her swimsuits into her suitcase, Blake wrapped his arms around her from behind, lifting her off her feet for a second. Lily laughed, using one hand to push him off while she used the other to zip the suitcase. She turned around in his arms, giving him a quick kiss before dodging his next attempt.

Blake righted her suitcase, then turned around, folding his arms. “Is everything ok with you? You seem… off.”

Lily flashed a small smile. “I think I’m just a little jetlagged. It’s finally catching up to me.”

Blake raised his eyebrows. “C’mon Lily, I know you better than that. What’s really wrong? Is it the promise ring? Was it too fast? We can always -”

“No, no - I just - Seeing James here really surprised me. It kind of threw me for a loop for a minute.”

“Oh.” Blake took a step back, looking disappointed. “A lot of people told me that you weren’t over him yet when we started dating.” Lily’s eyes darted up to look at him. “I didn’t want to believe it because -”

“Blake.” Lily took a deep breath, stopping him before he could say anything else that hit too close to home. “Looking back on it, I don’t think I was a hundred percent over him before we started dating but I didn’t realize it at the time.”

“So… I’m a rebound?”

“No! I mean, no - I always wanted to be serious.”

Blake took in a big breath, leaning back against the wall behind him. “Were you only interested in me because I eventually wanted to get married? I mean that’s why you broke up with James, right? Because he didn’t want to get married?” Lily felt his eyes bore into her and she shut her eyes tightly. When she didn’t reply, he said quietly “Talk to me, Lily. Do you still love him?”

Lily’s chest felt like it had been wrenched open and her heart had been smashed to pieces. Because it was true. She was still in love with James, despite ignoring it for the better part of a year, and seeing him again had opened that hole in her heart once again. 

“Maybe we should just go home. I think we’re both a little jet-lagged -”

“Damn it, Lily, just tell me!”

Lily threw her hands into the air, shrugging. “I don’t know! I thought I was way past it, I was in love with you, and then I saw James and now…”

“You love James again.”

Lily stayed quiet while Blake moved to sit behind her on the bed. Voice cracking, Lily said, “Maybe we should take a break.”

“If you still love him… I think this is over, Lily.”

“No - Blake, I don’t - Give me a week, and I’ll-” Lily stopped herself. Looking at her current situation, Lily couldn’t see herself marrying Blake, and James wasn’t going to talk to her again. There was no way a ‘break’ could make any of this work out, and she needed to move on - from Blake and James - and accept it. “I’m sorry,” she choked out, tucking a strand of loose hair back. 

“Me too,” Blake said quietly. “Was any of it even real for you? Or did I just waste a year of my life?”

“It was real, all of it.” Lily smiled through her tears, standing up and giving him a hug. “I’m sorry it ended here.”

Blake broke the hug rather abruptly, brushing a tear back himself. “I’ll uh… catch the first flight back. Goodbye, Lily.” He grabbed his suitcase, gave her one last quick smile, and walked out the door. 

And just like that, Lily was alone, in a lonely hotel room, on the other side of the world as her friends. 

As soon as the door closed, Lily fell back on the bed, using a pillow to muffle her sobs. She cried so hard that she could barely breathe, gasping for air through the wave of tears and snot rolling down her face. 

It must have been hours before she was finally able to pull herself together enough to remember that she was had a flight to catch. Assuming Blake had already caught a flight, she was going to be able to take their already scheduled flight home. She pulled up the boarding pass on her phone and realized that the plane was scheduled to leave in less than an hour. 

Checking the time was enough to almost make her start crying again, but she was drained, and no more tears came out. Instead, she stumbled her way into the bathroom, where she stripped off her clothes and turned on a cold shower. 

Over an hour later, her face still red and puffy, she emerged from the bathroom, dressed in loose shorts and a t-shirt. She grabbed her phone, took a steadying breath, and dialed Marlene, who promptly answered. 

“Hey! Did you talk with James yet?” Her bright cheery voice made her burst into tears immediately. Trying to cover her sniffles, she tried to answer, but when nothing came out, she hung up the phone and tossed it onto the bed. Marlene was going to kill her for it later, but she couldn’t care less at the moment. 

Lily forced herself to drink a huge bottle of water to try to calm her pounding head and rehydrate after crying so hard. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she evaluated her options. All in all, she really only had one: book a flight home. 

But like Marlene had said, sometimes Lily was ‘too good for her own good’, so Lily decided to add a completely out of the blue second option: not go home yet. She couldn’t go home yet - Marlene and Dorcas would want to try to persuade her to get back together with James or Blake, and would refuse to accept Lily’s decision for at least a few days. Right now, Lily couldn’t handle that when she didn’t even know what she wanted for herself. She knew she couldn’t be with Blake, and although she was still in love with James, he had made it clear that it was too late. And even if it wasn’t, how would they pick up the pieces of what they had together? 

Opening her phone back up to see eight missed calls from Marlene, four from Dorcas, and two from Sirius, nearly threw Lily for a loop again. She bit down hard on her lip to check her emotions, opened her browser, and booked a cheap hotel in Athens for two more nights. She didn’t have to checkout for another three hours, which meant she still had a little bit of time to kill before she needed to leave. 

As her phone lit up again with a call from Marlene, she glanced in the mirror to see that her face, for the most part, had returned to normal. She switched her phone to airplane mode, pulled on her shoes, and walked out the door. 

And right into James. 

“James? What are you doing -”

“Why aren’t you answering anyone’s calls? Marlene has called me three times now to ask if she’s seen you,” He said flatly, arms folded against his chest. His face looked tired, and his hair more scrambled than usual. 

Lily took a small step back, looking down at her feet. “Blake and I broke up. I’m actually about to head home right now”

“Without your suitcase?”

Lily opened her mouth, ready to lie, but she knew James could see right through her, like he had always been able to. “Plane doesn’t leave for a few hours.”

“Why did you two break up?” 

Lily leaned against the doorway. “We… things were moving too fast for me. And I wasn’t-” She rolled her eyes, sighing. “You already know the rest, I guess.”

“And now you’re just going back home?” His tone was even colder than before, and he looked angry. 

Lily shot him a look. “Why did you say it like that?”

James took a step towards her, lowering his voice. “You’re just going to give up?”

“What do you mean give up? I realized that I wasn’t being honest to Blake, even if I didn’t realize it. So, we ended it.”

“And that it’s?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“You’re always the good girl, Evans, the one who always does the right thing, even when it hurts you. Why didn’t you just keep Blake and do the wrong thing for once in your life?”

Lily stepped back bewildered. “Are you serious?” Her voice raised a notch. James glanced down the hallway as a family walked by them, and pushed both of them inside, closing the door behind them. Lily continued. “Why do you even care? I made the right decision, and now I’m moving on. And for the record, I’m not doing the right thing here. I’m not going home.”

“What?” James asked, as if he hadn’t heard correctly. 

Now, Lily felt stupid. “I mean, I am, just… I decided to take a detour to Athens before I go back.” She paused, not knowing what to say next. “Why does it really matter that I did the right thing here? I’m confused.”

“Because - this would all be a lot easier if you just… stayed with him.” His eyes were downcast, and Lily suddenly realized what he was trying to say. 

“Because then it would be an easier decision for you?” She whispered. His eyes shot up to meet hers and he thrust a hand in his hair. He shrugged. 

“You left me, Lil, after one of the best years of my life. And you moved on so quick, and I thought I could never be that happy again.” When he looked up at Lily again, her heart wanted to break all over again. His face was so troubled and shattered, and it was clear that he was in pain. “If you were still together with him, I could have just checked on you and left.” His voice choked a little and he threw his hands in the air. 

“What do you want me to say, James? You freaked out - in a major way - after I mentioned marriage once, and then went AWOL on me.”

James tipped his head back, leaning into his heels. “I messed up, okay? I never pictured myself getting married when I was little because I was always with Sirius, and we never thought about the future. It wasn’t on my radar.”

“Then why were we even dating?” Lily could understand that he hadn’t thought it about marriage a lot. James wasn’t the type to get caught up in romantic daydreams, he liked to do things headfirst, and think later. But what had hurt Lily so much a year ago was that he didn’t think about the future of them together.

“Because I’ve been in love with you since we were eighteen, Evans!” James burst out. “I’ve always loved you, and -”

Lily stood up, taking one small step towards him. When he didn’t move, she took another, and another until she was close enough to feel his heat. “Does it still scare you?”

James looked down at her, glancing at her lips, then looked up to the ceiling, tipping his head back. Lily held her breath. He released his breath slowly, lowering his head so that he was looking directly at her. “No.”

Lily didn’t move, not sure that she was comprehending what was happening. She didn’t want to make a move if he didn’t want it, so she stayed frozen in place, staring at James’ hazel eyes. James inched forward so that their fronts were touching, glancing down at her lips once more. An instant later, Lily grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her, crashing her lips onto his, and wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him down to her level. He responded instantly, leaning into her and putting steady pressure on her hips with his hands. Lily took a step forward, forcing him backward until he was leaning against the wall. She used one hand to thread through his soft hair - something she had missed more than a little since they had broken up, and used the other to feel the strong muscles in his back.

A second later, James flipped them around so that Lily was the one against the wall. He pulled away for a second to catch his breath and used his arm to prop himself against the wall, still inches from Lily’s head. 

“We’re really doing this?” Lily asked, letting her hands trail from James’ back to his front, up to his chest, and back into his hair. 

“Oh, hell yes,” James sighed, lips crashing down onto hers once more. Lily grinned at his eagerness, biting down softly on his lower lip. He groaned and reached down to grab her legs. She settled on his hips, pressed against the wall, just slightly taller than him. He used the height to litter her neck with kisses, and Lily knew that she would have more than a few marks in a couple of hours. 

James pulled them off the wall and lowered her down onto the bed. As Lily fell back, James stood over her, reaching up to pull off his shirt. He had just leaned down to kiss her, her nails gently scratching his tan skin, when he stopped. 

“James?”

“You were here. With Blake. In this bed.” His eyes clouded heavily, and although he was still on top of her, he lifted himself a few inches from her. 

Lily let her head fall back into the bed and closed her eyes. “I -”

“It’s fine, Lil, it’s not a big deal. Your choice of what you want to do with your body. But…”

“You don’t want to stay in the same room,” Lily finished. She sat up, and James rolled to the other side of the bed. Straightening her shirt, she tucked a loose piece of hair back. “Maybe it’s a good idea that we don’t rush right into this.”

He sat up next to her, their shoulders just brushing. “I mean, you did break up with him… three hours ago?”

Lily smiled, although a little guilt crept into her. “Almost four. But yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“We’ll get back to London, and figure everything out there. I think we both need some time before we go back to how it was.”

“Hmm,” James murmured, leaning over to kiss her again.

“Want to go to Athens?” Lily said, pulling away once again. “I mean, I know we’re not trying to rush anything, but I did book a hotel and I already paid for it, and checkout is in shit - fifteen minutes - so -”

“Lily, hey Lily!” James cut off her ramble, laughing. “Yes, yes, I’ll go to Athens with you. We don’t have to go slow on everything.”

Lily gave him a devious look and kissed him once again. James pulled away, laughing a few minutes later, checking his watch. “I uh... I better give the guys an update if I’m leaving mid-trip. I gotta cancel a flight, tell the guys, and pack my bags.” 

Lily pecked him once again but stood up. “I should probably call Marlene and tell her I’m okay.”

“I bet twenty bucks she won’t forgive you for a week.”

Lily grinned, picking up her phone. “Hm. Well, when I tell her I got back together with you, she is going to literally knock Dorcas out with her screaming.”

James opened the hotel door, tousling his hair with one hand. He leaned over and gave Lily another deep kiss, and when he finally pulled away, he winked. “Poor Dorcas.”

“Hm,” Lily murmured, swaying into him as he kissed her neck. Then, laughing gently, she pulled away, pushing on his chest gently. “Go, go tell Sirius that I’m fine. I’ll call Marlene, and meet you out front in an hour.”

“Sounds good.” James kissed her once more. “See you in a bit.”

As James walked down the hallway, Lily quietly closed the door. She collapsed on the bed, picked up her phone and dialed Marlene. The sudden changes - breaking up with Blake, getting back together with James - would take some getting used to, but the instant James had come into her hotel room, she felt a thousand times more comfortable than she ever had with Blake. And with that happy feeling, Lily gathered the last of her things, checked out of the hotel room, and went to go meet her boyfriend.

read on Ao3!

[pleckthaniel]

ok so. @xbloodywhalex tagged me in 2 ask games and i forgot abt them both til now so im just gonna do em both at once FKJDHFJK under the readmore so you dont have to scroll past smth crazy long

first one:

name: murphy! but you can also call me like. any variation on my url sldjfks

zodiac: snake/gemini so basically im a hoe ass bitch

favorite musician/band: hotel mira! beach bunny and juice WRLD make close seconds tho. i’ll also always love taylor swift, owl city and queen 8)

favorite sports team: CHIEFS

other blogs: this is the part where i admit i’ve had @waspwhisker for like 3 months and still haven’t figured out what to do with it slkdjflsdk

do i get asks: once in a blue moon

how many blogs do i follow: like 1200 i think?

what i’m wearing: pajamas haha

dream vacation: well it USED to be vegas bc i got a friends and family discount at caesars properties but SOMEBODY had to go get laid off so I GUESS i’ll have a DIFFERENT vacation

dream car: the only time i have ever cared about cars for more than 5 seconds was when my ex spent like an hour on the mercedes-benz ‘build your own luxury vehicle’ site and would not speak to me about anything other than cars for the entire time

favorite food: idk raspberries probably

languages: english (fluent), spanish (conversational)

celebrity crush: jeanette mccurdy

random fact: i’ve never broken a bone :^)

and the second one;;;;

name: ^^^

nicknames: technically the name i go by IRL (mina) is a nickname of my legal name

zodiac: ^^^

height: a doctor said i was 5′6″ so i am legally allowed to say 5′6″

languages: ^^^

nationality: american babey

favorite season: probably fall but like early fall, fuck november

favorite flower: never thought about it before but... dandelions??

favorite scent: i have almost no sense of smell 8)

favorite color: green!

favorite animal: fish 4 sure

favorite fictional character: look at my blog description and ask me that again

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea always

average sleep hours: 8-9 now i’m at my parents’ house, was more like 6-7 at school

dog or cat person: dog person ironically

number of blankets you sleep with: 2 max

dream trip: ^^^ but also more seriously i’ve wanted for years to join the peace corps and work in south america (preferably teaching!) which is a big part of why im still in spanish classes even tho ive completed academic requirements ;P

blog established: uuuh postlimit couldn’t find my oldest post but it was definitely sometime in 2015, probably between june (when i turned 14) and august (when i started high school/returned to public school)

followers: 179

random fact: this is more of a story but one time i had a friend over and offered him some pineapple juice and he went, ‘no, i’m allergic to pineapples’ and i thought he was joking so i went, ‘haha, no but really :)’. he was not joking

i tag whoever wants to do this! :) i know sometimes i dont do stuff when people, write that bc im worried like ‘oh but they didnt mean ME’, so this is also to say, yes i do mean you, if your reading this and want to do it then just do it!! ily!!! :D

[shytiff]

June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins. 

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients. 

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo  

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning. 

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and  summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers. 

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

[cow3survivor]

Episode 1 Pt. 2: “Playing a Game With A Fresh Slate” - Jessica

SAM

https://youtu.be/gmZlNel3IZM

JESSICA

We did it! We won immunity! Shout out to Sammy for making the flag that won us the advantage and Pete for doing so well in luck! Also in 6 hours or however long it has been since my last confessional, I have decided I do like Sam and we will align. So I guess I want to align with everyone except Madison... hopefully if we lose she is out first!

JABARI

So our tribe is heading to tribal and I'm very nervous because anyone can go atp. I need to make sure that isn't me.

JENNET

we flopped that :(( and i think i may be one of the reasons :( trying my best to not let anybody know im upset but as tribal council looms closer im getting worried

(a little later)

im trying not to throw anybody under the bus but i think that im voting out nash :(( they havent been super active and they havent texted me back since i texted them so it just makes sense to boot them :((

(after eating some rice)

voting out another black woman weighing heavy on me :( i hate that its coming to this

PETE

our tribe had a celebratory discord call which only consisted of like 4 or 5 people but i joined later after everyone left anyways i had a long nice chat with Sam in which i found out he hosts an in person survivor with his friends at home and hes nice ANYWAYS he apparently, like me, is cursed to forever be a premerger. So from here on out i solemnly swear to never vote for Sam during the premerge phase fuck yeah

JAKE

https://youtu.be/aVQKOOrapj0

remind me tomorrow to chill out and take a back seat on the vote lmaooo

PENNINO

Going to tribal i feel like i'm pretty much safe. I feel like that 4 minutes was a good time for the easy jigsaw, but Ethan getting 1.5 minutes is almost impossible. Assessment on my tribemates Jabari: Seems like a nice person, has talked more and has been much more active, I think she has gotten herself off of the chopping block. Jake: Still a nice person, but has lost some activity during yesterday. Possible Ally still Jennet: Nice, active enough, not a target Jones: Not very active. A bit of a target. I will most probably to vote her to be say. Lindsay: Very active, we talk to each other a lot, nice person, possible ally Mikey: Nice person, nothing much, not a target Nash: ˆˆˆ Nicole: ˆˆˆ, but not as active Silver: Active, nice person, but he doesn't respond to my dm's that much, but, still, a possible ally. I feel pretty good about this tribal honestly

JONES

https://youtu.be/2UtH-dnv0i4

SAM

https://youtu.be/lzZOK2CxsA4

MIKEY

WELL HELLO LADIES. SO SO SO SO SO! Instead of rambling Ill just get on with it. Starting off, Me and Nash REALLY freaking connected. Like they’re so fun to talk to!! BUT. They’ve been inactive. and so Pennino is now going around spreading their name, and basically everyone is saying sure why not. This SUCKS because Me and Jabari wanted to make an alliance with them and jake, but now we are faced with a problem. We both have basically decided that instead of Nash we are gonna drag in Peppino. I brought that idea up because me and him are both the youngest people in the game, and I really wanna go far with Peppino. My goal this season is to beat a bunch of adults and make them feel angry that a 15 year old outsmarted them. Its so funny! Anyways besides that, Im feeling good about that 4. I wish it wasn't Nash going home, considering the only other name out was Jones, and I woulda much rather did her, but you know that's how the cards fall I guess. A bad bitch is done with tonights confessional. A bad bitch is now gonna press submit. A bad bitch says GOODBYE ASF!

SILVER

https://youtu.be/JLwZRNesRHI

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YF3mYJfYIq_2Qco8EQYq3JowyMSbin8M/view?usp=sharing

NASH 

im crying i have no idea whats going on!!! HKDHEJDHW all i know is talk to mikey and play 8 ball with nicole

(a little later)

ETHAN 

Charan's Hot Confessional Questions

<a:dance:777952213808447519> 1. Give us a Trust Rankings of your tribemates! Who are you bonding with the most? Who are you bonding with the least? I trust Shane the most, and right now that’s because he is the only person that is actively strategizing. Besides that, I feel the most amicable with Jessica, lovealis, and Daisy who are wonderful people. Unfortunately both Cloud and Madison have made 0 effort with me and are generally inactive with me. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 2. Have any alliances formed on your tribe? If so, how loyal are you to these alliances? If not, do you think there are alliances out there that don't include you? There are no alliances that I’m in that have been formed, but I suspect there are some out there. Alliances without me are ok, I just need to know about them, and if there are any right now, I don’t know about them, and that’s concerning. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 3. How did your first Safari experience/run go! Did you get any closer to finding an idol? I WILL NEVER FIND ANYTHING IN A LUCK BASED SYSTEM <a:dance:777952213808447519> 4. Explain why Ryan and Charan are hotter than you A fact of life... these two slay.

LOVELIS

So things are going okay on the tribe so far! The first immunity win was rather nice & I like being able to have a bit more time to read people until were thrown into the pressure of a tribal. So far I’m definitely clicking the most with Shane and then probably Jessica but the time zones are getting in the way a little - just glad I have more time to really click with people and try and cement a place for me in this tribe. I think my contributions to the challenges have definitely helped my standing but not everybody is being super social with me so that’s a little bit of a worry - just gonna have to go ham at bothering people in private messages until they respond I suppose! 🤪

MADISON

Hi beautiful humans!!! I wish I had tea for y'all but we've won 2 challenges in a row and I really don't see the grind stopping in the foreseeable future so the tribe is kinda just vibing which gives me a little bit more time to build relationships which is a blessing and a half. I always get extremely paranoid the first week in games so the fact that I know for certain I won't be first boot is amazing!!! Tribe bonding is scheduled for tonight so hopefully by next round I'll have an alliance or 2 (maybe even the idol if I'm feeling really lucky)

JENNET

Last night really lit up a light in me. it sounds like everybody wants to work with me which is good so im now newly excited to play the game

SAMMY

okay okay okay so I would do a full out cast assessment but I literally just can not do that rn...so let's talk about who I vibe with most and who I have made like strong connections with so far! Initially, both Daisy and Jess have declared I am someone they really want to work with which is perfect for me because I want to work with them as well. I know daisy is going to be such a great competitor and I want to be on her side 100% but same with jess...im such a loyal bitch okay!! Me and Kiki really bonded over that logic puzzle so she went up in my rankings (as if she was ever low to begin with) I am not sure how well me/Pete/Nicole(opposite tribe) are gonna mesh...like I really hope me and Nicole can come together this game but I know we are just gonna end up being paranoid of each other but I love her so much. I REALLY WANTED TO BE ON A TRIBE WITH NASH AND JENNET I luv their vibes so much. okay back to my tribe tho, we won reward #mwah! I put so much effort into that because I just knew if we were to go to tribal that's an easy thing under my belt I could use as a "omg u need me for challenges". I noticed I was coming on a little too strong and presenting myself as a leader which I don't think really hurt me I think it made more people realize they should talk to me KHFBHIS. Umm okay so I love lovelis even tho he is not very active but I just know we will have each others backs for a bit. I connected well with Shane and Ethan very early and they just seem so sweet. I think if we would have went to tribal sam/lovelis/Pete could have been in danger. I would have preferred sam cause he isn't that active but he did help out some with the flag work. ANYWAYS this was not my best confessional but I do want to point out I FOUND A VOTE BLOCK SO HOLLLLLLAAAAAA! we are using this as a way to gain peoples trust so I told daisy and jess to strengthen those relationships mhmm

NASH

me pretending to be surprised that ppl wanted to vote me out first because i was kinda inactive.... i thought survivor would be different 💔

JENNET

not me being targeted for being a pretty black girl with a juicy fat ass *sad face emojis*

(a little later)

its tribal council and im shaking and im nervous, this could go horribly wrong or this could go super right

TRIBAL COUNCIL

SILVER EXIT INTERVIEW

[nneoculture]

prince!taeyong au (a bulleted scenario)

a/n this wasn’t a request but i’ve just been getting prince feels from taeyong lately, i didn't know how to end it ok i wrote this in an hour!!! also, announcement..... I’M SEEING NCT 127 IN MANILA NEXT MONTH!!! IM CRYING!!!! IM SO EXCITED!!!! I GOT TICKETS RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE IM CRYING!!!! AND.... NOT ONLY AM I SEEING THEM PERFORM BUT... I ALSO GOT A PHOTO OP PASS. IM MEETING THEM. IM ACTUALLY CRYING I CAN’T BELIEVE IT ITS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE SO IM TYPING THIS BUT IT DOESNT FEEL REAL TO ME OK IM SORRY IM SO PARANOID

masterlist

request

genre: fluff

first off, i wanna clarify that this is kind of a mix of modern and past??? U get it

ok so,,, he looks like a prince

as a prince, i think taeyong would be the kindest most respectable dude EVER

like he genuinely cares about his people

everyone loves him basically

he literally goes out of his way to meet his people

and he’s gonna be crowned as king pretty soon since his father's getting old

and in all honesty, he’s not ready to make decisions and stuff like that

he thinks he's not ready but imo he is but i don't have a say im jus the writer

okay so onto you….

you’re just from the middle class, nothing special

you’ve never seen the prince despite him making regular visits to the village

you think his whole acts of kindness thing is just a scheme to get the people to like him as a king

so let's say you’re really adventurous, you’re always in the woods or whatever that's why you’ve never seen prince taeyong

so one time late at night you’re just really bored and can’t seem to fall asleep

so you decide to go into the woods and just walk around or something

you really shouldn’t do that u could be eaten by wolves or something

but yeah ANYWAY you’re walking around in the woods it's been like an hour dude

then you see this tiny hole that looks like an entrance between two trees

you’re like ooooo spooky so u go check to see what's on the other side

and it's a really pretty garden,,, like ,, it's an actual garden with lanterns and a lil pond and it's just so pretty it doesn’t look real

so while you’re looking around you see this dude obviously taeyong sitting by the pond and u jump a bit but he doesn’t seem to notice your presence

he’s just lying there with his eyes closed, humming some tune

so u go closer and ur like “are you awake”

and he opens his eyes in shock kinda and hes like “oh shit someone saw me”

and you’re just thinking oh this dude is wearing expensive clothes he must be rich and ur like “who are you???”

and then it hits him that you don’t know he’s the prince

he’s like “oh…. i’m TY” and you’re like “that's a weird name but ok i’m y/n”

he nods and you’re like “so did you make this? do you come here often TY?” and he’s like “my grandfather did when i was little. and yeah i come here when i can’t sleep or when something's on my mind”

you’re like “so which one is it?”

he’s like ??? and ur like “can’t sleep or is there something bothering you?”

he’s like “oh….kinda both, but more of the latter”

you’re like “you wanna talk about it?” he’s like “its nothing, its just that i have to do something that involves a lot of decision making that i’m not ready to do yet”

you’re like “oh well whatever it is i’m sure you’ll be ready, you seem like a really reliable guy TY” and he’s smiling bc this is coming from your heart and you’re not just saying this bc he’s the prince

taeyongs like “so how about you? what brought you here?” and you’re like “i dunno i just couldn’t sleep”

so you two are just enjoying the silence and also getting to know each other a bit

you’re like “you must be from a noble family huh?” and he nods and you’re like “so does that mean you’re attending the prince’s coronation next week?”

he’s like “uhh idk i might” and you’re like “you know i’ve never seen the prince, but i always hear stuff about him being a really nice guy but i think that's all just crap to get the public's approval” this kinda offends him and he frowns but he’s like “or maybe he’s just a really nice guy”

and you’re like “you know i could see it that way if i didn’t have this bias against royals, they seem really stuck up, im just hoping this prince isn't the same”

taeyongs like “he isn’t. i’ve met him, he’s passionate about helping his people”

and ur like “hmmm i’ll give him a chance”

then u realize it's almost 4 am and you get up

you’re like “i’ll see you around TY” and he’s like “you can find me here every night if you want” and you’re like “i’ll take note of that”

so the next night you guys meet again and you get to know each other a lot better, talking about each other's favorite colors, food, fears, music. he tells you stories about his life, places he’s been to, you’d pretty much just talk for hours.

you’ve been meeting for about 8 nights now, and in the day he’d be on your mind and you’d be on his, and you eventually realize that your heart flutters when you see him waiting for you in the hidden garden

so basically you’ve fallen for him and his stories and just everything about him in just a matter of 8 days

on the 9th night, your feelings were just running through your body and you were like screw it i’m confessing tonight

you’re really nervous as you make your way to the garden, but he isn't there

this kinda upsets you but then you remember it's the prince’s coronation tomorrow, and TY coming from a noble family, was probably busy with preparations

so you leave, deciding on just telling him about your feelings the following night

so in the day, your family drags you to watch the parade of the new king with them, much to your dismay

you’re just looking around for TY, hoping he’s somewhere here

then you hear the crowd yelling for the king

you look up at the float and you’re IN SHOCK

like ,,, REALLY

your mouth is hanging wide open and your mother lightly slaps your arm telling you to bow in respect

and as you’re bowing you look up and you and taeyong’s eyes lock

you both have a look of shock on your faces and before you know it the float has passed you

and you’re just dumbfounded the whole day

in your head you’re like ,,,, ‘i’ve been talking to the prince this whole time… i’ve told him things that could get me killed…… and….. I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM’

so ur very slightly angry so at night you go off to the garden again thinking he won’t be there bc he’ll be too busy at his party

but there he is, sitting by the pond in his royal clothing

he looks exactly like he did when you first saw him, lying next to the pond with his eyes shut

you quietly go near him and you’re like “what’s up king taeyong”

this time he doesn’t even bother opening his eyes he’s like “it’s TY to you”

then he sits up and stares at you and he’s like “are you mad that i didn’t tell you”

you’re like “i was, but i kinda understand why you didn’t”

he’s like “so are you gonna start treating me differently now”

you’re like “i don’t think you’d want that so i won’t”

and he smiles at you which makes your heart MELT

you're like “so why aren’t you at your celebration”

he’s like “i ditched and told them i was tired”

you laugh and you’re like “that's a good way to start off as king”

you’re like “so is this the thing that was bothering you the first night we met, the thing you said you weren’t ready to do??” and he nods

you’re like “from what i know about you, i think you’re going to be a great king, don’t worry too much, i believe in you”

he’s like “that means a lot, especially since it's coming from you”

ur like “huh???” and he leans in and holds u softly be the cheeks and kisses you

and your heart is JUMPING

you both pull away and he’s like “i’ve been wanting to do that” and you’re like “honestly, same.”

he’s like “i ended up developing feelings for you, you got to know me as taeyong and not prince taeyong, just taeyong.” and you’re like “i feel the same way for you, you were so genuine as a person and i just couldn't get you off my mind”

he’s like “you’re not just saying that bc i’m the king?” you know he’s joking but u put a fake hurt face on and he tackles u into a hug

you’re like “ok but you know we aren’t going to be allowed to be together right?” and taeyongs like “well why not? everythings being modernized now, who’s to say i can’t be with the person i’ve fallen for? i’m the king”

and you just spend the rest of the night cuddling in the garden

he introduces you to his parents and they agree on keeping your relationship a secret until his term as king is long enough

he hires you to work in the palace just to spend time with you

its cute you’d be serving him tea and you’d bow and he’d take it then give you a peck on the cheek

you’d still go to the hidden garden with him, it would be your place and it would just be sacred for you two

and you live happily ever after

end

[gayhags]

bruna tagged me and i gotta do it cus her life is on the line if i dont so like i guess ill tag some of u if ya wanna do it 

(it’s supposed to be 20 but like i dont know 20 of yall so like ill tag @evelynebrochu @delphines @odetteannable @gaytiemcgrath mm yeh

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - almond milk latte

2. phone call - i ignore all phone calls

3. text message - my best friend 

4. song you listened to - monotonia // the growlers

5. time you cried - mmm like a month ago

ever

6. dated someone twice? - nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it - not really

8. been cheated on - not that i know of so like no

9. lost someone special - in a way i guess

10. been depressed - mmm yeh

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - yeah thas why i cant stand tequila

fave colours

12. light pink

13. black

14. white

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yep

16. fallen out of love - no ive never been in love so like lmao

17. laughed until you cried - yeh

18. found out someone was talking about you - mmm yeh

19. met someone who changed you - no not really

20. found out who your friends are - this is some tea but yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no facebook is for pussies

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - everyone except kate and soph ://

23. do you have any pets - no i fuckin wish bich i want a dog

24. do you want to change your name -  in a way i guess...like i dont really think my name fits me like idk my name makes me uncomfortable but like im used to it now 

25. what did you do for your last birthday - nothing bc houston thas when hurricane harvey hit and like everything was closed down for like a week so happy 20th to me thas mother nature saying fuck u bich 

26. what time did you wake up today - 7:40 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - idk...i was probably crying bc of sendrick 

28. what is something you cant wait for - for me to be rich and sex see

30. what are you listening to right now - the growlers listen to them theyre sexy 

31. have you ever talk to a person named tom - no all toms are creeps

32. something thats getting on your nerves -  a lot of things like life and being alive in general 

33. most visited website - tumblr

34. hair colour - light brown

35. long or short hair - long

36. do you have a crush on someone - i havent had a crush on someone since last summer thank fuck 

37. what do you like about yourself - sometimes i like her sometimes i hate her it depends on the energy that day but like shes pretty funny i guess like i make myself laugh 

38. want any piercings? - yeah my cartilage

39. blood type - in case im like dying my blood is O- im that universal donor ass bitch 

40. nicknames - my friends call me bitch or b or henny

41. relationship status - single lmao

42. zodiac - virgo

43. pronouns - she/dat/bich

44. fave tv shows - the office, parks and rec and ob

45. tattoos - no  but like i might get one soon idk of what yet 

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - no

48. piercings - yah

49. sport - no lmao i was tha lazy bich in high school i only started to get into like fitness and shit my senior year of high school 

50. vacation - i wanna go to england

51. trainers - what does this mean idgi

more general

52. eating - i just ate some chickpea pasta w/ tofu

53. drinking - my 3rd coffee of the day 

54. im about to watch - my life crash and burn bc i have nothing figured out and i feel like wasting my time lmao 

55. waiting for - my lana concert feb 10th and then i can die 

56. want - this moneyyyy

57. get married - no 

58. career - i dont know!!! im a junior in college i should kno but i dont im gonna have a breakdwon 

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs

60. lips or eyes - eyes 

61. shorter or taller - im a short as bich so taller 

62. older or younger - older

63. nice arms or stomach - stomach bich i want this stomach to be flat like where are u bich im so tired

64. hookup or relationship - hookup cus like people are annoying after a while like leave me alone

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant is boring but like troublemaker is too much work so like neither

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no id never im a pussy

67. drank hard liquor - yes 

68. lost glasses - i dont need glasses but ive left my best friends shades in an uber once bc he left us in the middle of the road at a festival and we had to run out the car cus it was illegal to stop there so like we ran out and i feel so bad bc they were expensive

69. turned someone down - yes lmao

70. sex on first date - no 

71. broken someones heart - i think...

72. had your heart broken - yeah

73. been arrested -  no oh myg od i always have nightmares in which im arrested like i just want a mugshot but no 

74. cried when someone died - ok but liek who hasnt

75. fallen for a friend - mmm lmao

do you believe in

76. yourself - yes i have to push myself tho like its just me and myself fighting all the time but yeah ultimately i do 

77. miracles - yes like i really do after like me n my best friend almost got caught smoking we*ed in her house and like her mom came home early from a trip and like i really thought we were gonna die that day but im smart and lit a candle so like idk how she didnt smell it but like after that day i believe in miracles i do 

78. love at first sight - yeah but like only in fiction like irl it’s lust at first sight 

79. santa clause - yes i love her 

80. kiss on a first date - yeh if im into it 

81. angels - by the xx, gr8 song

other

82. best friend’s name - she dont have a tumblr 

83. eye colour - dark brown

84. fave movie - silver linings playbook, prisoner of azkaban, and the polar express i said what i said 

85. fave actor - anna kendrick and emma watson and like katie and evelyne 

[shadowkage]

I'M SENDING IN THREW STARS BECAUSE I AM GONNA WRITE YOURS UP WHEN I AM FREE TODAY

meme // @mita-rashi

How I rate your blog:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

How I rate your URL:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

How I rate your blog theme:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

The font is almost big enough to read, props to you!

How you play your muse:

Don’t know your muse | Not my cup of tea | meh | OK | good | wow | EXCELLENT | I would like to keep you forever.

Thoughts/opinion on the mun:

We met long before you know, I think. You were one of the first blogs I followed upon joining the rp community. You didn’t follow back but I must’ve tried at least 3 or 4 times over the course of a year. I was a stubborn asshole. 

I laughed when you followed me out of nowhere, then soon realized how difficult it is to get our muses going. I’m not willing to give up hopes yet. 

At the very least I enjoy it when you pop into my IM for whatever reason. You’re awesomesauce, Sam.

How much I ship our muses:

Are you out of your mind?! | NO | prefer not to | I need some convincing | MAYBE | let’s do our best for chemistry | what a good idea | YES | I’ve been hoping for this! | oh gods yes | LETS MAKE A NEW OTP | shipping hell!!

How attractive my muse finds yours:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

Platonic attraction:

0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

Lol

Sexual attraction:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

A situation or starter sentence for our muses:

“Get out of my face.”

A scene I would want to write with you:

Meeting | Cooking | Kiss | Fight | Bed-share | Shopping | World domination | Solve crimes | Stranded | Distant friends | None of these but PM ME |

Or: I have always wanted to write…

I guess the ideas we threw back and forth? Not sure if you’re interested in any, but I’m tempted to just tag you in a random starter because I doubt we’ll ever manage to do a full plotting session or start writing otherwise. 

If we would write, my mood is:

fluff | angst | horror | romance | humor | hurt / comfort | action | slice of life | crack | dark threads | light threads | any genre |

[chickenfetus]

all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these 

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse??  i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just  heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao  

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 8: “#StayLowAndGoGoGo” - Tom

I MADE IT WOOOOOOOO MILESTONE NUMBER 2

WE MERGED. THANK THE LORD, THE STARS AND EVERYTHING ABOVEEEE.

okay and thoughts. so evan went byebye, which was what needed to happen, super sweet, but him leaking stuff was really a mess. Merge is so exciting, I already love Caeleb, Jones & Mo, three legends already yay!

IM ALSO BACK WITH BENJ MY KING! I HAVE MISSED HIM SO MUCH.

MERGE I AM SCREAMING!!!

I am sorry Evan, we did 100% throw this challenge but hey ajdjdjf even tho we threw this challenge it was a freaking 5-4 points LOL thank god I didn’t do more than just put Marcus Lehman.

Let’s go merge, thank god I didn’t turned into pre merge flop!!

MERGE!!!!!!

IM REUNITED WITH ALI!!!!!!!! KING!!!!!!!!! im so excited omg so we had a HUGE catch up told each other all the tea of each others tribes

He suspected I was the flipper but doesn't care LOL so yay!!! Ugh I have missed him its so great to have him back as someone I can fully trust and rant to about everything! I also had Jones queen to help get me thru the tribe, just wish she replied more lol! ily guacamole . mitch also great, so glad he survived the budva decimation that I caused oops

I don't think anyone suspects me n ali are close, and everyone thinks Julia/ian/Jason are a trio and either ian or Jason have the idol LMAO this is so funny. I was even on call w the tribe and we were discussing it im thinking lolllll ik ali has it and no one else rlly does wowow

we think alex has durmitor idol bc . apparently it was not found pre swap, caeleb claims he made the end but it was gone, jones and mo don't seem active enough to guess

reunited w ian king aswell hes great, gonna meet some new ones like jules aka almia queen and tom the Australian he was cool on the call so its good ik everyone so far on this tribe except 2 ppl really, while 8 people on the tribe have not meet 4 others so I hope im connected well?

I honestly don't know what will happen from here . like is it og vs og tribe? swapped tribes? something new? IDK! All ik is my top 3 allies are ali jones mitch and I want to try get us far !! but idk how to do that so...… stay tuned

Still can’t get over that I made merge AHHHH

But wait...

THIS IS A CONSPIRACY THEORY BUT THE FREAKING COLOR OF THE MEEGE TRIBE IS SIMILAR TO MEEGE IN SWITZERLAND???! AND THE TWO STARTING TRIBES WERE LITERALLY ALMOST THE SAME COLOR. THIS WILL NOT END LIKE SWITZERLAND, IF IT DOES I AM GONNA CRY.

Anyway I got in touch with Mitch and Benj. I talked with Mitch first then I learned it was Benj who flipped during the Noah vote. I mean I honestly thought it was Mitch ahsjdjd but I guess the talk I had with Benj about rocks/ties back then was an omen. Anyway Mitch tells me he forgives Benj so I guess that’s something? Julia confirms to me that Mitch is saying the same thing to her so ok. I then chatted with Benj and he did tell me he was the one who flipped because he was not close enough with Noah to go to rocks for him which is understandable but I’m still weary on Benj.

Tom then tells me Mo and Caeleb are grilling him for JJ and Evan’s demise. Right now Tom feels that Mo/Caeleb/Alex/Jones are a thing and that they’re just using Benj. That’s kinda a good info to use to get benj on our side??

Anyways I don’t know if this is alarming or what but on the tribe call Tom told Mitch and Benj he knew about the Budva idol being found because Julia told JJ and then told everybody. I think Mitch and Benj were shocked that Tom knows? Idk I maybe paranoid but let’s see

Right now me, Julia, Jason and Ali are trying to hide the fact from Benj and Mitch that we made sort of a pact with Tom and Jules to vote together come merge. I trust Tom to know that I think he will vote with us but idk about Jules. Tho Julia and Jason seem to trust her so I hope she sticks with us!!

Last minute additions -

I got a vote cover from the choosing thing!! Drew didn’t really tell me what it did but if I had to guess what it was I’d say it’d be like,, a dark week thing where votes won’t be revealed? Who knows tbfh

SO I KNOW I'M TERRIBLE WITH WRITING CONFESSIONALS, but this is my first Survivor game, I'm not used to using Skype and it's weird having to type it to a whole other window just to get a confessional but WHATEVER ILL TRY TO DO AT LEAST ONE A DAY. Even if it's just like about random shit! Even it's just an astrology lesson! Anyways JJ, I mean, Alex is coming at me saying he thinks it's 6v6 now and i'm like......who's gonna tell him. BECAUSE EVEN IF IT'S ME NOT DOWN FOR OG DURMITOR ( i love them but game wise idk if i can hang with them ) I DAMN WELL KNOW other people might not be down for that. I'm just tired of the assumptions though I know Alex means well I'm just TIRED ugh he's a pisces moon too so he'll sense it from me so I better act NOT ANNOYED but I can't help it UGH. Did I miss the people from OG Durmitor? YES! Did I miss the gameplay and none of them calling out JJ on his shit and being surprised that JJ got out for being a crackhead? NO. NOT AT ALL.

okay so merge and I have lots of thoughts, i am gonna do it person by person so i cover it all ahh.

Alex C: Okay he lowkey terrifies me ahh. Like he is quite gamey, and both Mitch & Jules have said he is kinda leadery and potentially a bit pushy? I see him as an early merge boot (ideally), because I think he'll get a lot of attention on himself? He is fun though, and I like talking to him - we will see, maybe if idk Jones/Mo/Caeleb goes he will be a more workable ally from an underdog spot?

Ali: trash, disgusting, send him home, I never want to see that mess...

Benj: a KING, I have missed Benj so MUCH. He is such a, SUCH A KING, i love him, I'm so happy we are back together. I think he could be a great duo for me, since us two being close can be kept quite lowkey ha! We will figure it out, but he is going NOWHERE on my watch

Caeleb: Okay he is like... one of the only other newbies left in the game, and is potentially quite lowkey, so I'd like him to stick around for a while I think ahh! He seems super sweet, and could be someone to go to the end with if my faves go bye bye.

Ian: I've said it since round two, and I will continue to say it. Ian is the biggest threat in the game, I've been knew and I'm not dropping it. I will not allow him to go far, like he is super nice, but also... we are not allowing a threat like Ian to walk to the end.

Jason: Similar to Ian, I'm really feeling duo vibes with him and Ian, maybe even a trio with Julia I'm not sure? He scares me less than Ian, and I'd probs want Ian out first versus Ian? He still is also a king tho, even though I always get vibes that he doesn't like me eeeek

Jones: A legend! I can tell already, I fully get legendary vibes from her. But like... it makes me upsetti spaghetti that I really don't think I can let her get too far, like she... is someone I could see as a season winner, so she might need to go sooner rather than later, although getting her out might be easier said than done tbh

Jules: Okay an icon. Jules we LOVE in this house. I literally stan Jules with my 100% full heart, they know ALL and on my watch? they go NOWHERE. my clout is being used to keep an eye on Jules, even tho they are a much better player than me, and they will be able to watch their own back and go super far

Julia: Witch queen. I want her to go really far too tbh, like I love her and am so happy we have actually been able to work together this season. She told me about her self-vote thing she got from the merge feast, which is a big trust display. I think if I can get her woke about Ian/Jason, she could be a big ally and super important about my game long term. I think if we can get Alex C out particularly (since apparently they have history), then maybe she will be more willing to FINALLY make a move on them.

Mitch: I'm always sketched out by him KASDFA. Like I think he would work with me for sure, but I also like... don't know sometimes, like... he knows I was gonna vote him out premerge, can that go away? I think he could be a good ally moving forwards though , we will have to see.

Mo: MY SON. I MISS HIM. I'M SO HAPPY HE DOESN'T HATE, I THOUGHT HE DID. Its super exciting and like I said before, he is doing super good this season and I'm super proud of him. I wanna go far with him, but I think not being on a tribe with him till merge could be an obstacle to that ahh :(

Tom: Tom is a mega-cracked king. Like he is SO entertaining, and on a personal level I really vibe with him. I will not do him dirty, and I wanna go to the end of this game with him. We will see what happens, would love to be a juror voting for him at the end.

So overall final thoughts. I have a dream F4 alliance of 'The Flippers and the Flop' aka me, Tom, Jules & Benj, since those three flipped on their original tribe and I'm a flop. So I want that as F4, Julia at F5 (but maybe further, I love her too), and then for the rest:

6th: Mo 7th: Caeleb 8th: Mitch 9th: Jones 10th: Jason 11th: Ian 12th: Alex C.

We will see and figure it out and be flexible. Its gonna be a mess, but we will see. I just wanna make confirmed jury, then I just wanna play a bomb game, like finalist-schminalist, i just wanna end the season and my game not being an actual joke KASDFLAS.

hi i just wanted an idol

Okay so i dont know like when the last time i did one of these was but lets just start at last tribal council; I am lowkey so glad that evan is gone and we didnt try anything too fancy he really would've made merge that bit messier. But uhm also why the heck did he have to vote me grrr i wanted to try to not get any votes for a really long time but oh well cant have everything good happen in life.

M E R G E!!!!!!!! Yesssss finally merge has happened the playing field is even and i am ready to rumble. Bit nervous to see where abouts i stand in the tribe because i didnt feel very included in the original durmitor tribe and there are two people i havent met in benj and mitch.

Okay so like wtf is going on right now, sure say hello and all that shit but why is Mo, Alex and Caeleb like proper interviewing me, who do you think you are ELLEN? No youre not please stop investigating on what happened between jj and evan vote offs like i do not owe y'all anything..... i was probably going next if we didnt have that first swap! I am more than happy to tell them like what happened just it will be altered in favour of myself and they wont get the full indepth explanation.

Sorry I don’t have a vid confessional today laid ease

But um ya I think I’m getting TARGETTEEEEEEEEED or at least someone within the durmitor dominators group is. WHich is SKETCHY!! Idk it just feels really obvious since that core group of 4 literally,,, tag teamed all 4 of us first ,,, hello??? Mam?? I get we just met like 2 days ago but you could be a lil more discreet ab everything 😤

But ik we can’t just assume based on that,, If we’re just going by that logic then their hitlist is Alex, Caeleb, myself, then Mo. but idt it could be that,,, concrete?? They could just be playing us like Noah/Michael/Mitch TRIED to do before,, but we got them so ya 🥰 anyways,,

If we can somehow get a plan out of them or at least a name then we’ll be ok,,, that way we’ll at least know what’s going on for SOME PART. Mitch and julia seem kiiiind if close? So hopefully she’ll tell him some shit and come back to me ab it - if I have to play the idol then,,,, I guess,,, I will,,, but I don’t want to. Like let me save it for when IM in trouble at least sksksk who knows,, maybe I AM in trouble and I’m just a crackhead 🤷🏻‍♀️

But ya that’s my rant I’ll be back soon laid ease mwah

Okau so like woo! i won the first immunity of the season how bloody exciting! I honestly was confident going into the challenge however i didnt know whether or not i was going to win. I love the fact that i got shot 0 times so i literally could've gone asleep and potentially still won lol. But at this point my mission of staying low and go go go'ing has to be intact i cannot seem like a big threat in this game it doesnt get me far. So im telling everyone that im surprised and that it was really just based on luck and based on nothing so my target does not grow! So glad to have immunity in this game honestly first merge boot probably wasnt going to be BUT i know this round can get fucking messy so anything could've changed #StayLowAndGoGoGo

okay this is a grr grr angry confessional. WHY IS EVERYONE BEING DUMB AND JUST BEING ATTACHED TO TRIBE LINES. Like I messaged Jones, Mo and Alex about it yesterday, and Jones my meme queen gave like a good response, but Mo particularly I was like... wut?

Like Mo is my org son from all the way back in Azores, so I always have his back... but like... when someone messages you about being uncomfortable with tribe lines and not wanting to stick to them, giving the HEAVIEST HINT POSSIBLE that I'm not attached to like Ian and Jason, your response should not be 'I'm just accepting my fate'... Like that is such a red flag to me, no player should just... be resigned to stuff? Like Mo PLEATHE.

In other other news, we love Jules still. Tom is being weird recently, I think he doesn't trust me anymore, so I think my dream at the moment is a F3 of Jules and Benj, Tom 4th and Julia 5th? Mitch terrifies me (and he knows I shot him, which caused even more distrust), Alex is super nice but is like... evidently not trusting of me, Mo is my son but I wanna SHAKE HIM, Jones is my fave I love her already, really like Caeleb too he is so nice.

I'm just frustrated, I feel like.. people aren't willing to do enough and its making me frustrated I just wanna scream. Like at this point, I expect to go midjury, like 9th, and I'm thinking who I'd vote. I would vote Jules, because they are always on the ball and their read is unmatched, I'd vote Ian because he has playing smart since round one, I'd vote Benj because he is one of the few that has his head screwed up about not blindly sticking to tribe lines.

Of the rest? I'd like to vote for Tom/Jones, but would probs need to see more gamey game from both. I could respect Mitch's story to get to the end, but don't necessarily see myself voting him. I could vote Julia or Jason. The one who is currently least likely to get my vote is probably Mo, I am just... frustrated with him. Like he could do SO GOOD, I just wanna give his head a proper wobble, like.... LISTEN TO ME. I am telling you I would flip just READ KSALDFA.

I ranked who I'd vote for in FTC if I was a juror so far and its currently:

Jules > Ian > Benj > Mitch > Julia > Tom > Jason > Jones > Alex C. > Caeleb > Mo

And the order in which I trust people is:

Jules/Benj > Julia > Tom > Ian > Jason > Caeleb > Jones > Mo > Alex C. > Mitch

I have thoughts. I know its been a hot sec since I have sent one in but I have been just busyyy. So this one might be long and it'll have all my thoughts post-merge.

My first thought: Being reconnected with old tribemate (Jules and Tom). I love Jules. She's so kind and wonderful, might be hard to reach occasionally but when she messages its always full and heartfelt. I think that can go a long way in this game as she's fun to talk to and makes you feel like she's with you. So that also mean shes very dangerous of course. Tom is less so fun. He's kinda sarcastic kinda hard to read kinda edgy. He always acts like he's a little too busy for things. But he is fun and he has fed me a lot of information about Budva post swap, so thank him for that. BUT I'm like lowkey really annoyed with him. Losing that last challenge on purpose was dumb as hell. I know Evan is deceitful and hard to work with, but like hell keep that in your head and get him off as an easy vote right after merge. Because If they hadn't lost and instead we had gone to tribal (Durmitor), then we hopefully would've lost Mitch, secured the dynamic as 7 OG Durmitor vs. the 5 OG Budva, and it would have been much harder for Tom and Jules to chose the Budva members over the numbers. Obviously this works best for me and OG Durmitor but that just means that I don't know what Tom and Jules are thinking and overall that means I can't really trust them.

Second thought: That challenge was actually really fun. It put this merge into perspective and CLEARLY showed where people are at right now. The fact that OG Budva was so organized in their slaughter and got out Alex like hella fast and then me before we got out any of them was so showing. They are tight and they will remain to be tight. The fact that they were able to be so coordinated seems scary as well. AS it might mean that Tom or Jules or even Mitch or Benj is actually working with them to make sure we didn't win that immunity. Plus Tom won it and that is scary to me because I already was wary about trusting him in the first place. Putting thought one and two together makes me wary overall, because that means that together Tom and Jules and Mitch and Benj might be choosing to work with old Budva (I mean Tom and Jules don't have any inhibitions about voting out old tribemembers so) and old Durmitor might just be screwed.

Third thought: Annoyed that I was shot and destroyed second. I thought I was making a good impression with everyone. Maybe its not a good indication but also sad face.

Fourth thought: New tribe members! I love them all to an extent. Ali seems to be fun to talk to and likes chatting back and forth. But also he did say he was surprised I was out so early and since I know that Alex didn't shoot Julia then he was definitely shooting me. So I don't think I trust that all too much and he might be too sneaky. Jason seems nice. Not much to say our conversation has been pleasant but only so. The same with Ian tbh. They seem cool but thats it. Julia is fun and her background makes her seem like a total bad ass and a really cool lady, but she's been soooo hella dismissive of me. I don't like the way she's playing the game. I think she's putting on an act and playing a character to throw people off. I heard she was like sad or crying(?) that someone shot her and Tom confronted me about it. And sure I shot her but like hell thats the game. I'm 90 percent sure she was shooting me. I'm annoyed, and people seem to love her which just makes me think she's being dismissive to me because she thinks I won't be around too much longer and she doesn't have to put in the effort. And that's dumb, like if I do go I really hope this is the start of the Jury because I will have something spicy to say to her in the event she makes it to Final Tribal. Or maybe things will change and I will learn to really like her and stuff.

Fifth Thought: Game plan for tomorrow. My strategy going forward is simply to be not targeted tomorrow. That is truly the crux of it, because at this point I think I might get votes. I know that apparently I have a habit of getting votes in a new tribe (David and then Noah) so honestly I can see it happening, especially if they are worried about Alex having an idol and they got him out of the challenge first just to vote me. But if I can survive then I think I can go a little farther. The power struggle right now is 3 groups of 4 battling. There's the total Budva members, the total Durmitor members, and then the middle ground (Jules, Tom, Benj, and Mitch). I asked Tom who was more important the original tribes or the new ones and he said he wants it to be old but most likely will be new which basically means that he will vote with Budva. So in the event I survive with numbers I'll ride that until I need Alex (and his idol that I'm prettttty sure that he has but I can't be sure) out and will try to rally that we need him to be gone. If I survive but I'm not on the side of the numbers I wanna create a good bond with Ali and Jules as were all newbies and work that until we can start eating Budva from the inside. I'll see though DKSDSKDSK. I don't think it would be wise to concrete that before this first vote because their reasons for voting off JJ and Evan was apparently that they were making alliances with everyone. I don't want them to see me that way.

Sixth Thought: Okay another Idol Bridge BIG OOF. Those are hard as hell, and I am so confident that both tribe idols are gone which means there might be 3 idols out there pretty soon which is scary as hell. Durmitor Dominators are hoping to work together to get it and maybe we can actually use that together rather than having it hidden like this time. (Which I really think that Alex has it but whatev). If I'm idoled out imma be so sad but like also okay thats an okay way to go.

Have fun with this. Feel free to chop it up into mini confessionals or use it in its entirety. Up to you! Love ya hosts ur beautiful

okay a gamey and a dumb update.

julia proper wants to flip on ian and jason which iconic... its truly time. I wasn't necessarily going to vote them out first, but if that's what is gonna happen, that is what's gonna happen.

in a memey update, JJ just got cast in another game and it reminded me of a JJ-ism I never confessed about. JJ was on call and showing me... a pet in a glass box, but i didn't know what the pet was or what it was supposed to be, because I couldn't see it. but he was like wow isn't it cute, so i fully called a stick which was the only thing i could see, cute. a STICK.

anyway so like.... back to game. i think the merge boot will be ian or jason which dun dun dun! its probs overdue and will happen, or it'll be me! we will see anyway

why am i drinking white wine with julia on call at 3am, we are truly the wine mum duo drinking our way till the end

I think I'm in the middle of everything atm, which is a weird place for me to be. I'm not in the center, I'm not looking from the outside in, I'm not really a part of anything major or in any alliances and it's an odd feeling. I know I need to do something to secure myself in something but everything in this game just feels up in the air, it's odd. I don't know if it's just how Survivor is, but it's a very strange feeling not having a proper grasp on what's going on with EVERYONE. I have ideas but not a lot of real confirmation for much besides Jason/Ian, Mo/Jones, etc. Anyways. IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY OKAY I'm boring AF this game

Ok so for starters the immunity challenge ended after 2 hours of its posting adhgfjgs Tom won so big woo for him.

The Budva baes agreed to target Alex/Mo/Caeleb/Jones in this challenge and we got Mitch, Tom and Jules to work with us. Well kinda because the four (Me, Ali, Julia and Jason) of us were the ones who did most of the shooting to eliminate the Durmitor four and we just like went back and forth eliminating one another. I was the first to die in my group so big yikes!! I don't know if that's an omen idk but I do know that I was killed by grandma jones. So I killed grandma too oops!

Anyway, fast forward to today. I got an idol clue from the Hamburger but idk if this will help me get the idol hfjhsgf. So I shared it to Budva Baes and with Tom. Who knows we might get it idk.

In other news, on call Jules flipped because of an earthquake jgfjshgf

A tribe call happened that had almost everyone except Jones and Benj join which lasted about like 3-4 hours?? Anyway, me, julia, jules, jason, ali, mitch and alex played cards against humanity so that was fun!

After Alex and Jules left the call, the five of us who remained then proceeded to plan for the vote. As of now I think we're gonna throw our votes towards Caeleb because apparently he doesn't talk to them that much? I do talk with Caeleb but nothing game related so I guess I'm on board with that. We're not gonna target Alex rn because Julia mentioned that Alex might wanna work with budva people? or that maybe just a ploy, either way Julia and Mitch thinks Alex has the durmitor idol so that's something to be weary.

If I had my way I want to target Jones because during the call, Mitch and Julia expressed how they want her to stay and how they insta love her and to me that's kinda dangerous. But rn I don't think the numbers are their for me to go after Jones. Another hot topic on the call we had was Benj. I'm really becoming more weary of Benj because umm idk even tho we talk I feel like he's hiding something.

So far, the plan is for Julia to approach Jules about voting Caeleb. Jules is important for this vote because she's like in the middle rn and we need numbers. Also ghasgdd julia got a freaking auto-vote on herself for this incoming tribal council so we are screwed if they vote for Julia. Tom is also important but me and Jason have an alliance with him that Ali and Julia are not aware of so he's good hopefully.

Anyways as of now, the plan is Caeleb (which kinda sucks because I kinda like him) but who knows whats gonna happen. Just hope things go in my favor for this vote.

Apparently I’m a secondary target for the vote, but I’m like oddly at peace? Maybe it’s because I’m super tired but being anxious is never fun so I’m relieved that I’m so calm.

This tribal is so freakin messy. Literally everybody be crackheads and I am a freakin crackhead. I knew Mitch was gonna do me in again, I am sad that JJ blew up chances with Tom working with us, and I can't trust Jules because she's right in the middle. I think Benj is still with us. But gosh they'll vote me tonight and I wannnnna survive. If only I could like strongarm whoever has this freakin idol into playing it for me.

Anyways, I love Grandma's boys. They're all sweet and nice and wonderful and I want us to get this to work out. I hope Alex can work his magic, but also I hate that this has turned me into someone who is just riding the coattails at this point. Maybe I need to do some FREAKIN crackheadidness but hell we'll freakin see.

ALSO

Jones has the IDOL OOOOOOOOOO. I think she might play it for me if things are looking bad. Literally my grandma is the most amazing I love her. Things be crazy and cracked here in Podgorica but the spice is nice.

okay this confessional is a call out post, to basically the entire cast except for jules and benj. like its negative and mean, so I'm gonna scream, and then write some actually strategy and smart stuff KLDSAFAS.

Julia. I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART, but. You have got us into such a pickle and are playing the middle too aggressively, dragging me kicking and screaming with you. Why would you make a Budva chat yesterday, to flip on it TODAY, that is such, SUCH a quick turn around

Alex. You are so sweet, and I really enjoyed the call yesterday, but you are already terrifying as an ally and are giving off JJ game vibes. This 'alliance' I'm in, of Jules/Julia/Me/Alex/Mo/Jones... terrifies me, WHY IS NOBODY TALKING. And then I love how Alex was like 'lets vote out someone from each side across two rounds' and then like... suggests Jason, a) one name b) one vote. And then it's like... he goes okay maybe Mitch the following round? Another OG Budva? I have to laugh, I have to LAUGH, this alliance is so fake askdlfaf. I love everyone in this alliance as people, but as allies I'm not feeling it.

Jones. You are a legend, and naming my plants was so fun, but you go so crickets its really scary, like it just looks SO sus. I wish you were more open gamey, I really wanna work with you grrrr.

Mo. Mo is my son, and I love him, but oh. my. god. is he frustrating to play with JLSAKDFAF. I have never played with someone who is so passive and who literally... does not say anything. Like on calls, he is so fun because he is the sweetest and a great guy, but his only comments and contributions have been 'I think I am going' and 'I have accepted my fate'. mo, MO, you can't be doing this and pulling these shenanigans, you are so likable just... give it a go and play the game HNNNGH.

okay that was mean and negative but I fully needed to scream. To clarify my situation, last night Julia made a chat of all the Budvas - Benj after the call, and we settled on voting Caeleb? But Julia wants to flip, and formed this group with Alex of them two, me, Jones, Jules & Mo. Like Julia, I get playing the middle, but this is playing. the. middle. I didn't want to be in such a middle position I hate this so much SKADLFASF.

It's really frustrating. I want Ian/Jason/Alex out because they all terrify me on a game level. But Julia has put us in the middle in a way that we are gonna have NO NUMBERS TO MAKE A MOVE UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Like I just wish she ASKED me before she made a group with Alex that I got dragged into.

I feel like me and Jules have to just... get in with Mitch. Its the only way. And Caeleb too I guess? Like I think the alliance I'm going to need is like... Me/Tom/Jules/Caeleb/Benj/Mitch... like that's a 6, and with Julia might be the numbers we need going forward.

I'm like... not gonna win this season I know it already. Jason is gonna be furious with me, as is Ian. And then I'm gonna have to flip BACK in two rounds. This is literally the exact game I've played before that hasn't worked.

Having said that, the main thing I did wrong before was that I didn't own my moves. So I need to own it, when I vote out Jason I need to talk to Ian and pull me in, so we can just... remove Alex. I just want everyone gone already askdlfa, its so so so tiring.

Here is what I want to happen now:

Ian > Alex > Jason > Mo > Jones > Mitch > Caeleb > Julia > Tom > F3: Me/Jules/Benj

but like... its just... im in such a bad mood about all this, its really... just enough.

Also for the funsies, if I was a juror, at FTC from most to least, this is who I'd vote for so far:

Jules > Benj > Mitch > Ian > Julia > Jason > Tom > Caeleb > Alex > Jones > Mo

So this tribal is shaping up in our favor... hopefully. I think Jason's for sure going now at least. It should be a 9-3 vote if everyone's telling the truth... which would make it so easy to split the votes because I'm pretty sure Jason or Ian have the idol. The most we can hope for is make them think Caeleb is going home for sure.

Pray for me. I don't wanna be a merge boot. I feel like I have a lot more game to play.

im about to save jason and fix all my problems.

i'm gonna push the vote onto ian, saying jason is very nervous and seems like he will play an idol, pushing the vote onto ian. Then I will tell Jason before/after (to be decided) the vote that I saved him, thereby securing his trust so that we can make a move on Alex next round.

I have NEVER played so aggressively, and tried to take control so much in the vote, but Julia put me in a crap situation. But I'm not gonna like... sit here and have it happen, I am here to play a good game, I said so in my application.

I think this is the way of ensuring minimal blood on my hands, and I've wanted Ian out since round two KLASDFA.

I wake up and I then learn that HOW IN THE WORLD ALEX KNOWS THAT CAELEB IS A TARGET THIS ROUND???

Mitch told him? Like what the hell is happening???! I talked with Alex and he says he’s ok with Caeleb which is really weird??

Tom then goes online and tells me Alex has been going around telling people different names and he told Caeleb my name >.>

AND NOW JULES AND BENJ ARE MIA AND ITS REALLY SKETCHY

I am gonna get voted!! I can feel it ahsjdiff so much for my never voted out status :(((

50 minutes till tribal and the plan is to vote out Jason but make Jason think it’s Ian or Caeleb? Unless I’m getting blindsided which in that case, well done. I’m really tired and I just want some Mac and cheese and a nap.

why is the one time alex and jones pip up to squash my beautiful plan. like go back to being crickets at all signs of game talk thank you very much.

alternatively... tom and jules could come in clutch, flipping caeleb to vote out alex that works too.

i'm annoyed with jones/mo/alex they can go. like i've wanted jason and ian out as a duo for ninety-five years, but maybe i wanna keep them around.

Jones is fuckinf PISSED

THESE BUDVA ARE CRACKED AND WANNA CHANGE THE VOOOOTE SKSKKSJSJSKSJ WE HAVE LITERALLY 40 MINUTES

If Jason idols himself, I’m idoling Caeleb and I’m gonna gonna kill someone

If Jason idols Ian and we get Jason out I’m laughing my ass off

If Jason idols himself and I idol Caeleb and I’m SOMEHOW IDOLED OUT then fuck that shit I’ll literally kill someone

I just wanna tell these Budva in space jam then it’ll be ok

I DO NOT WANT TO BE VOTING JASON AT ALL THE FUCK I WANT TO GET ALEX THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BUT NO CAELEB APPARENTLY WANTS TO VOTE JASON I HATE THIS THEY REALLY ARE TRYING TO GET MY HOMIE JASON OUT!!! WAS I CONSPIRING AGAINST HIM AND IAN ALL WEEK? MAYBE SO! BUT I DON'T WANT HIM OUT YET!!! I DON'T!! WE ARE TRYING TO BLINDSIDE ALEX BUT THIS AIN'T WORKING UGHGHGHGHG *STOMPS ON THE GROUND* UGHGHGHGH I HATE THIS GOODBYE

me flipping my vote to make it a 5-4-3-1 sending Ian out... I'm either the second coming of Natalie Anderson or 11th place.

The moment Mitch, Julia and Ali stopped responding to me and Jason I felt it. That we were being bamboozled and it looks like we did.

Tom and Jason were true to me and the end and I love them for that. Screw snake Julia because she really fucking played me like a fiddle lol and fuck Ali, mitch and benj hahahahahahahahaahahahahahHaha Because it really hurts! Alex is a scheming lying bitch and at least Mo half lied to me oof

At least my vacation is saved. I love the hosts, Drew, Seamus, Johnny and Asya for having me. I stan Nicole G forever. Bora Bora will always be my home. Goodbye tumblr survivor!

[the-punforgiven]

ALL 200

WELL, ALRIGHTY THEN, LET’S GET STARTED

200: My crush’s name is: I’m not sure honestly, I’m kinda not really into anyone super seriously right now. Like I’ve got a few people I think I might have crushes on, but no one I’m certain I do, if that makes sense199: I was born in: A hospital198: I am really: Fuckin dumb197: My cellphone company is: I can’t remember off the top of my head196: My eye color is: Some weird green/brown195: My shoe size is: Too fuckin big I’ve gotta order shoes off the internet194: My ring size is: Honestly? I don’t know, I’ve worn like two rings ever193: My height is: 6′2192: I am allergic to: A very specific brand of hot dogs and a couple types of smoke191: My 1st car was: Well, we’ll see when I get one190: My 1st job was: A Dishwasher, unless you count the middle-school paper route189: Last book you read: Lisa Peschel’s The Runes188: My bed is: A loud-ass-fucking steel bunk bed that I swear is gonna give me a concussion someday187: My pet: Is a cat, her name is Groucho and she’s very shy but I love her186: My best friend: I can’t pick a favourite person, I’m sorry185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever makes my hair flow majestically like a fuckin power metal album, I haven’t found a brand I prefer though184: Xbox or ps3: I don’t actually use either, but PS3′s got some better exclusives I’d say183: Piggy banks are: A thing? I dunno182: In my pockets: My wallet, phone, some papers, and a pendant with no chain181: On my calendar: I.. I don’t presently own one180: Marriage is: Something I rarely think about, sorry179: Spongebob can: Stop airing completely and I genuinely wouldn’t care178: My mom: is a great person and I wish her nothing but the best177: The last three songs I bought were? I dunno whatever the last three songs on Amon Amarth’s Jomsviking album are176: Last YouTube video watched: This one (Or at least that’s what I’m presently watching, the one before that was This175: How many cousins do you have? Too many. (7? I think??)174: Do you have any siblings? Yeah dude I’ve got like 5173: Are your parents divorced? They were never married, they can’t get divorced172: Are you taller than your mom? Yeah171: Do you play an instrument? Yes! I can play the guitar and the piano, and I’m hoping to learn more instruments just as soon as I can get ahold of them170: What did you do yesterday? Hung out with a friend of mine, spent the night, played some videogames, talked about superpowers. The usual I guess[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Maybe?168: Luck: Yes167: Fate: Yeah?166: Yourself: if I believe in myself to fuckin fail at everything yeah165: Aliens: Yes. I mean, the universe is so insanely fuckin massive, it’s honestly fucking terrifying to think that this is the only planet out there with life, you know?164: Heaven: Maybe?163: Hell: Maybe?162: God: I dunno161: Horoscopes: Kinda?160: Soul mates: Yeah?159: Ghosts: Yes158: Gay Marriage: Yes157: War: I’m not quite sure what this is supposed to mean, sorry?156: Orbs: ???155: Magic: Kinda, yeah[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: I prefer kisses, but I hug people way more153: Drunk or High: N/A152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black Haired150: Blondes or Brunettes: Depends on the blonde. Like, platinum blonde hellyeah, but buy-and-large, brunettes, I guess?149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter, seriously a full moon on a clear winter’s night with freshly fallen snow is alone more fuckin beautiful than most of the shit summer can muster in my opinion, and also there’s less chance of me fucking burning to death, which is always a plus147: Autumn or Spring: Spring, rain is good, and spring has the most rain I think?146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: Night, for the sheer virtue of not getting sunburns, and the fact that a full moon is so fuckin pretty dude144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: How curly we talkin? Like, wavy is my favourite, but that’s kind of middle ground. I dunno, they can both look really good, I guess142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds, though that comes with the qualifier that the only Burger King I have ever visited gave me food poisoning141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: No Dark Chocolate? What the fuck??? Nah, aside from Dark Chocolate being the best kind without debate, I still prefer Milk Chocolate to that White Chocolate filth. It’s not even real chocolate and it tastes like ass140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: High heals, huh? Honestly, no preference138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: honestly I’m ugly and poor and I’d honestly prefer enough money to shower my friends in the wealth an happiness they deserve over a slightly-less-disgusting face137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke136: Hillary or Obama: I’m not gonna pretend I know enough about American politics to answer this one135: Burried or cremated: I mean, both, kinda?134: Singing or Dancing: I can’t do either, but I sing a lot more than I dance133: Coach or Chanel: I’m sorry, this question doesn’t make any sense to me?132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Who and who?131: Small town or Big city: Small town, I get this really weird panic in big cities130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller, I guess?128: Manicure or Pedicure: I.. I don’t remember the difference?127: East Coast or West Coast: Is this referring to where I live, or?126: Your Birthday or Christmas: I would say Christmas since I love giving gifts as much if not more than getting them, but I can rarely actually afford gifts and I always feel like absolute shit for not getting anyone anything, so I guess I’ll go with my birthday?125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate. Flowers wilt, and that shit’s kinda really sad to me for no reason I can describe, sorry124: Disney or Six Flags: No preference123: Yankees or Red Sox: No preference[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: I’d prefer if it never happened, but that seems depressingly unrealistic121: George Bush: I don’t know enough about him to feel confident about forming an opinion120: Gay Marriage: Why isn’t it allowed everywhere yet, like actually what the fuck119: The presidential election: There is no combination of letters possibly capable of describing the twisting in my stomach that comes with thinking about that event.118: Abortion: Honesty it’s really not my place to say, like, I’m almost literally the least qualified person to talk about this117: MySpace: I vaguely remember it, rest in peace you dead service you…116: Reality TV: Not my cup of tea, personally115: Parents: They’re… Necessary to the continuation of life and a common occurrence in nature? I’m pretty sure there isn’t really much alive that doesn’t have parents, how am I supposed to give my thoughts on a concept that widespread? Yeah, things have parents, and reproduction’s been around for millions of years, I guess114: Back stabbers: I’d appreciate it if I wasn’t stabbed in the back, thanks, I mean I’d appreciate if nobody was, but these things happen, I guess. Best we can do is to make sure not to do it ourselves and hope everyone returns the courtesy113: Ebay: I don’t use it, is it any good?112: Facebook: Bad. I mean I still use it, but it’s bad. Especially it video player, like actually what the fuck, Facebook put how much money into itself why is the fuckin video player still that bad???111: Work: Money is good110: My Neighbors: I dunno, I’ve never talked to them, Generally they seem ok though, though exceptions exist109: Gas Prices: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhh108: Designer Clothes: Wear what you want, make what you want, I’m not gonna judge you for it107: College: I’d love to go there someday, shame it’s nearly inaccessible for me in my present situation (i.e. Dumb and Poor)106: Sports: Not my cup of tea105: My family: I mean, despite everything, I still love them, I guess?104: The future: I can only hope it’s long and wonderful, I hope the world can love in happiness and peace for the rest of time. I mean it’s not like that’s entirely possible, but that doesn’t stop me from hoping[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: No idea102: Last time you ate: Just earlier, I’m doing good!101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Also just earlier!100: Cried in front of someone: Uhhhhhhhh, back in like, grade eight at some point, I think? I’ve cried like twice within the last 7-8 years, give me a break99: Went to a movie theater: Back whenever Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was in them, I dunno98: Took a vacation: Like middle school, my dude97: Swam in a pool: Not sure. Not like, recently, but not as far back as the crying thing. Fuck honestly I don’t even remember when the last time I wore shorts was96: Changed a diaper: No idea95: Got my nails done: Like never. Maybe once, but I do not remember that day very well at all, so it might have been some weird fever dream94: Went to a wedding: A couple years ago, I think?93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Never91: Broke the law: No idea90: Texted: Earlier?[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: I dunno, I laugh a lot, and I can’t quite pin down who does it the most88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My instruments, honestly87: The last movie I saw: Harry Potter and the Big-Ass Cup? I don’t remember which one. I want to say The Goblet of Fire, but that seems too logical. The one with the hedge maze of death, I wasn’t really paying attention86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Halloween!85: The thing im not looking forward to: Actually making a costume for Halloween!84: People call me: Weirdly nice things, it’s almost as if they haven’t met me or something83: The most difficult thing to do is: Stop time. I still haven’t figured it out82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: No, but I’ve also never driven, so take of that what you will81: My zodiac sign is: Virgo80: The first person i talked to today was: My mom79: First time you had a crush: Back in elementary school sometime. Remembering what I was like back in elementary school, it’s probably best I didn’t say anything to anyone about it78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my fuckin grandma, her presence alone is enough to force the truth out of you77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Earlier today, I guess?76: Right now I am talking to: You, Anon!75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Kick a few habits, hopefully? Maybe develop a few healthier coping mechanisms? I’m not gonna pretend I know what I’m doing with my life74: I have/will get a job: I fuckin hope so73: Tomorrow: I’m gonna hope it goes well, and probably try to get my rent situation sorted out. Chances are I’m gonna really want to do something with some friends and completely miss the opportunity for one reason or another, I seem to have made a habit of that recently72: Today: I’ve gotta try and get some fuckin sleep honestly. I’ve also gotta remember to take that pill lest my stomach attempt to dissolve my fuckin throat again71: Next Summer: I’m gonna set up my Air Conditioner at the fuckin start of it, like a fucking smart person70: Next Weekend: I’ve got no plans69: I have these pets: I have two cats, two dogs, and two birds, it’s a fuckin zoo in here. I mean technically only one of the cats are mine but whatever68: The worst sound in the world: My fuckin midrange, help67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Dude I’ve only cried like twice in reliable memory, only one of them was actually brought on by anyone, so that guy, I guess66: People that make you happy: There’s just way too many to say, but I’d say a great many of my mutuals, followers, and whoever’s been sending me anons, I love you guys, as well as my Discord pals, obviously, you guys rock65: Last time I cried: Season 2, Episode 2464: My friends are: th fuckin best63: My computer is: Not quite my whole life, but a very significant portion of it62: My School: I’m not in one presently, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯61: My Car: What car?60: I lose all respect for people who: Can openly condemn a person they don’t know anything about.59: The movie I cried at was: It, uh, wasn’t a movie, for one, and for two, I’ll take that secret to my fuckin grave58: Your hair color is: Red57: TV shows you watch: Honestly, I just really don’t have time for TV56: Favorite web site: I dunno, probably either this one or YouTube, I don’t do a lot on the internet, honestly55: Your dream vacation: Visiting festivals in Norway and Finland54: The worst pain I was ever in was: When I got an ungodly sunburn on my back. Now, that may sound weak but keep in mind I was like ten and I burn faster than your average tank of gasoline. Like, it didn’t even compare to the times I tore open my legs on rocks, including the one that got infected and the anaesthetic-free treatment for that, just to give an indication of how bad that fucking burn was. I’ve been literally on fire and that was more pleasant than that fucking sunburn somehow53: How do you like your steak cooked: I’m not big on steak, honestly52: My room is: My own. It’s a bit too hot, and it’s kinda small, but it’s mine and I’m very glad to have it51: My favorite celebrity is: Honestly? No clue.50: Where would you like to be: Somewhere with more food, I’m fuckin starving49: Do you want children: Maybe if I am ever able to competently raise some, but until then, no48: Ever been in love: Maybe? I don’t really know, as strange as that sounds47: Who’s your best friend: I’m not picking favourites46: More guy friends or girl friends: More guy, I think? I’m not gonna count them out, and I don’t know if most of the people I regard as friends really regard me as a friend in return, you know?45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Fuckin, Music, man! It’s just so fantastic, I love it44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My dad. He’s a swell guy, I miss him43: Do you have a 5 year plan: A what42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Not really? I’ve got some things I’d like to do, but the chances I’ll ever be able to actually do them are… Slim41: Have you pre-named your children: No40: Last person I got mad at: Not sure. I rarely even get frustrated with anyone, let alone mad39: I would like to move to: I dunno, I don’t really have anywhere I could see myself settling down38: I wish I was a professional: Animator, musician, metalworker, I dunno[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Dark Chocolate Kit Kats, I fuckin love those things so much36: Vehicle: That fuckin huge ass speaker truck from Fury Road that I really want to say is the Doof Wagon, but I don’t remember for sure35: President: Chip Zanuff34: State visited: The State of Bliss is a favourite of mine. I’ve anted to try visiting the state of intense meditation, but alas, no luck yet33: Cellphone provider: No Preference32: Athlete: Honestly I don’t know the names of like any, dude31: Actor: Sir Christopher Lee, may he rest in peace30: Actress: I fuckin forgot her name, it’s gonna bother me for the rest of the week but rest assured as soon as I remember it there’s gonna be an allcaps text post that’s just her name, I assure you29: Singer: Joakim Broeden, Nina Osegueda, Christopher Bowes, and Anna Murphy, presently28: Band: Arsis, Children of Bodom, A Sound of Thunder, Alestorm and Sister Sin27: Clothing store: The fuckin music store lmao26: Grocery store: No preference25: TV show: Metalocalypse24: Movie: Kung Fury23: Website: Wasn’t that asked above? I think a few of these were, actually22: Animal: Snow Tigers. They’re cute but large cats, but with added majesty21: Theme park: I’ve been to like one theme park in my life, I can’t really say20: Holiday: Halloween19: Sport to watch: Do the Armored Combat Leagues count? If so that18: Sport to play: See above answer17: Magazine: I don’t read magazines, sorry16: Book: I don’t have a favourite honestly15: Day of the week: Saturday, I guess?14: Beach: No idea13: Concert attended: I haven’t attended any, I don’t think. I might have been to one when I was in grade two, but that might have also been a weird fever dream, I’m not sure12: Thing to cook: Brownies and Cake! I just love to bake, honestly11: Food: Pizza and Pasta10: Restaurant: The Colander Restaurant. Literally the most amazing fucking spaghetti I have ever eaten in my entire fucking life. Seriously, it’s the best, go eat there9: Radio station: No preference8: Yankee candle scent: I honestly don’t think I’ve seen a yankee candle in real life, ever7: Perfume:Not a clue6: Flower: No idea5: Color: Red, Blue, Purple, Green, frankly I’d have a faster time listing off colours I don’t like/consider a favourite4: Talk show host: I don’t watch talk shows, sorry3: Comedian: No idea2: Dog breed: Samoyeds, they’re so cute I love them so much1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I’m allowed to lie??

[guhudude]

Tagged by: @omuii le geef

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:  1. Drink: coke 
2. Phone call: probably my mom 
3. Text message: to my girlfriend: ^_^
 4. Song you listened to: Free -6LACK 
5. Time you cried: uhhhhhhhhhh I think it was two weeks ago when I was frustrated with my family for not treating me like an adult

 HAVE YOU: 
6. Dated someone twice: nooo
 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes but I barely count it as a kiss lol. I was in 8th grade and gave my boyfriend a peck on the lips and the whole thing was so forced it was stupid 
8. Been cheated on: don't think so
 9. Lost someone special: yes 
10. Been depressed: heck yeck 
 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah I was at a party with some friends in college and it was a great party most of the people were LGBT and everybody was really chill but I just really wanted to get wrecked lol. I started with beer because I thought that was all they had but then I found out they had Smirnoff ice and I started drinking those, and I played a drinking game with shots of Long Island iced tea.... best party ever even though I did get sick twice 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
 12-14: I can't believe this is just a clever way to skip my favorite number in the questions but ok: ultramarine blue, lime green, umm. Plum purple? Not all at once lol 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
 15. Made new friends: yes
 16. Fallen out of love: yes (only romantically) 
17. Laughed until you cried: yes, usually because of The Squad, my Skype group 
18. Found out someone was talking about you: yupperooza. 
19. Met someone who changed you: hmmmm. I followed someone on tumblr does that count? 
20. Found out who your friends are: yes 
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: my gf ;) 

GENERAL: 
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them, so around 200
 23. Do you have any pets: Sasha, a 6 year old border collie-husky mix who is black with blue eyes (she's a little brat who tries to trip everyone by tackling their feet), and Gretchen, a 11 year old German shepherd mix with a big belly (and a bigger heart) and a curly tail 
24. Do you want to change your name: yeah, my legal name is both too feminine and too biblical. Hopefully someday I'll get to change it legally to Peri. 
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I honestly don't remember :') it was probably boring 
26. What time did you wake up: I woke up at 9 surprisingly well rested 
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching Jupiter Ascending which is one heck of a movie 
28. Name something you can’t wait for: going to visit my geef in New Jersey again
 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: I'm sitting next to her on the couch watching family feud right now 
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: GIVE ME THE HECKENING MOTIVATION!!!!
 31. What are you listening right now: G-Mix: Russel on Spotify. I'm goin through all of their playlists. B) 
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: there were a few different guys named Tom at the campgrounds we used to go to every summer. 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my LACK!! OF MOTIVATION!!!!! 
34. Most visited website: tumblr, YouTube, kimcartoon 

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 
35. Mole/s: a few on my arms
 36. Mark/s: fuckin perpetual acne and scars from it on my shoulders and back : ) a birthmark on my left side and supposedly one on the back of my neck but ofc I've never actually seen it -squints- a few freckles here and there 
37. Childhood dream: to be literally every fucking profession. I wanted to be a princess, a fire fighter, a veterinarian, a cop, a psychiatrist...
 38. Hair color: brown
 39. Long or short hair: short, I look like one of the Beatles lmao 
40. Do you have a crush on someone: does my gf count 👀 
41. What do you like about yourself: I'm a good friend and I got a nice body 😘
 42. Piercings: just 2, one traditional piercing in each ear. I really want a bar of some kind, at least one cartilage piercing. 
 43. Blood type: O+
 44. Nickname: saoirse, seersh, peri, peridot 
45. Relationship status: taken by my gf 46. Zodiac: sexy, sexy Sagittarius ;)
 47. Pronouns: they/them or... ya know what idc actually any pronouns lol
 48. Favorite TV Show: Steven Universe, Rick and Morty, Community 49. Tattoos: none YET 
50. Right or left hand: right-handed though I am slightly better with my left hand at frisbee for some reason 
51. Surgery: once I had a surgery on my tooth that never came down because the teeth on either side were too close together. 
52. Hair dyed in different color: never :c
 ... yet 53. Sport: I used to be in track/field for one year in middle school, I was horrible at it but I did the 200, high jump and long jump. When I say I was bad at it I mean I was Literally The Worst on the team by far. I like to watch hockey especially in the arena because it gets WILD in there. You get to hear all the crazy shit all the drunk fans are saying and watch people get into fights and yell at each other 54. was there a 54 before bc i lost it i guess? and i just copy-pasted the whole thing 
55. Vacation: a nice little cabin in the woods with hiking trails around it would be perfect 👌 I'd also like to go on a cross-country road trip someday 
56. Pair of trainers: these black ones with neon laces that I wear to work, my favorite ones right now that are black with stars that glow in the dark (I don't wear them to work so as not to wear them out), a pair of black converse and a pair of black and teal vans, both of which I've had for years MORE GENERAL:
 57. Eating: nothing right now 
58. Drinking: coke  
59. I’m about to: READ A FUCKING BOOK FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 YEARS 
61. Waiting for: me to get my shit together 
62. Want: a raise? No? Damn. motivation??? .... shit. 
63. Get married: someday, u know it -finger guns- 
64. Career: artist/illustrator if I HAD THAT FUCKING MOTIVATION 👏👏👏 i have been wondering how I would do as a plumber tho.. 🤔 

WHICH IS BETTER 
65. Hugs or kisses: hugs
? 66. Lips or eyes: eyes
 67. Shorter or taller: maybe.. a LITTLE taller????????????? if ANYTHING??
 68. Older or younger: I am 19 and too far in either direction is Uncomfortable 😐
 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: What Does This Mean (in general tummies are nice tho) 
71. Sensitive or loud: hm?? I'm sensitive to loud noises???? I really don't know what this means
 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship
 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: "i’m a hesitant trouble-maker" -my gf and honestly, same 

HAVE YOU EVER: 
74. Kissed a Stranger: no 
75. Drank hard liquor: hell yea 
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I've briefly been unable to find them but I always find them again 
 77. Turned someone down: yes have you ever been friends with a Nice Guy 
78. Sex on the first date: what is this... Sex
 79. Broken someone’s heart: probably since I've turned people down 
80. Had your heart broken: yeah
 81. Been arrested: nope 😏don't plan on it either 
82. Cried when someone died: umm I cried like a week after someone died does that count? My emotions are delayed sometimes
 83. Fallen for a friend: ;) ye 

 DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
 84. Yourself: barely
 85. Miracles: not technically 
86. Love at first sight: sometimes 
87. Santa Claus: again not technically but I think he's a good symbol for kids and in general positive vibes during the holiday season
 88. Kiss on the first date: yeanoooo.. it takes a while for me. When in doubt just ask. And listen to my response lmao (someone kissed me after I said no and MMM 😬) 

OTHER:
 90. Current best friend name: I can't just pick one 😫I have like 10 REALLY great friends I trust with my life 
 91. Eye color: grey-green
 92. Favorite movie: the only movie I can think of right now is Jupiter Ascending because i just saw it last night and it's the first movie I've seen in months lol. OH FUCKING HECK INTERSTELLAR THATS MY FAVORITE MOVIE I LOVE INTERSTELLAR 

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: imma do what tessa did and tag the last 20 mutuals in my notes so don’t feel obligated to do this or even read it! also if you don’t want me to tag you in these in the future let me know and i’ll do my best to avoid it. @gordamnramsey, @mysteriousquartz, @celestialmoonlights, @viviannevendetta, @carryonmywaywardplanet, @jamesxfilesthemeroach, @lordsardine, @woahdaleks, @prettythinker, @belleweather, @squidego, @reck2468, @sexyninjakitty96, @animeandmanga-bearcat, @thesamanthagossamer

im actually gonna cut it off there at 15 bc i don’t have that many active mutuals lol oK HAVE FUN EVERYBODY make sure to tag me if you do this!