#ok enough blabbering

[fearfulandhungry]

Face reveal but i tried to cosplay Enki LOL I’ve never cosplayed before so this is verrryyy new territory for me… still kinda fun he he. 🪱🕷️

[avocado62524]

[tubbytarchia]

Traffic/Life series roster as dinosaurs

A lot of these don't make for very good hybrids unless you wanna get into freaky territory or full on centaur but... Hope it's a fun scroll nonetheless!

Grian - Novialoidea

A small birdie... The name also means "New wings" which I find fun. New lives and death games to be part of, new wings to accompany him... (Honorable mention to "Shuvuuia" the "desert bird" who unfortunately is not a pterosaur (doesn't fly)) (Yes we're including pterosaurs! Just using "dinosaur" as a conveient blanket term)

Tango - Aratasaurus / Pyroraptor

Fire raptor! Either works just fine and Tango as a skittery little raptor is perfect for a creature like him

Scar - Apatosaurus

"Deceptive Lizard" harkening back to Scar's scamming tendencies. Though I've always liked the idea of him being some larger gentler animal in any hybrid scenario and a long-neck fits the bill well. He can poke his nose into people's conversations easily to start marketing something useless to them and swishes his tail to ward off anyone who's about to stop him

Impulse - Nasutoceratops

Ren - Regaliceratops

Horns. COOL horns. I don't know what else you want from me ceratopses are just way too awesome. Nasutoceratops is a wicked cool dinosaur for having its horns point so forward much like a bull and I for one can jive with some Impulse bull symbolism. Bulls are often viewed as strong, sturdy and loyal, traits also assigned to Impulse a LOT of the time. But though he IS intensely loyal in many cases (+ Ceratopses are also known for how they defend their own!), and he's not very outward about the following traits, he can get quite petty and bitchy and hold grudges. Still, you don't think of that when you look at him and he seems to agree! Eg him feeling like he should be accepted into Cleo's alliance in 3rd life without actually proving himself when Cleo was rightfully hesitant, at which Impulse more or less rolled his eyes. And him proclaiming "betrayal!" when killed by Bdubs when their alliance was as firm as a rat's tail

(And I feel the need to point this out too just in case: "bulls are also known for their temper" yeah but they're not like that! Bulls like many animals become defensive when exposed to aggravating behavior or movement! Which you could work into Impulse's grudge holding and intense loyalty...? I don't know enough about him sorry but do with that what you will)

Regaliceratops! Regal!! Crown shaped frill!!! Need I say more?

Gem - Therizinosaurus

Theris are so bad bitch coated to me and I would love to have one as my wife I mean um I couldn't decide on a less generic specimen so Gem can just be a Theri! A herbivore - often associated with the belief that herbivores are gentle passive creatures, but far from it, especially with Gem! She bares her claws like it's no one's business

Martyn - Stygmoloch

A Pachy with a tough head and a tendency to bonk people - I think it fits Martyn's tendency to perpetuate drama haha. The Stygmoloch's name though more or less translates to "demon of the styx river", the river of the underworld representing loathing of death. To me this makes sense with all the watcher lore (that I have a hard time understanding but whatever!!) especially with how Martyn became in LL. The watchers themselves don't loathe death (??) of course. They're death games. But someone within the game trying to stay alive and win? Probably loathes the idea of themselves dying. I have no clue what Im saying

Pearl - Carnotaurus

Ok maybe a hot take not to make her into a pteradon or even a raptor with wing-like features but those just didn't fit that well in my opinion. Rather I wanted her to have some kind of horn motif in place of her wings as visual symbolism for her character. I'd like to imagine her having fine horns, to then have them damaged (one broken off) and simultaneously the other more grown out. Think of how domesticated goats for example have their horns trimmed. I think human hybrids with horns would do the same to keep them from becoming a bother but Pearl would neglect to after her heartbreak in DL. I was heavily considering the Diabloceratops for this, especially because of the name (Devil horned face - good ostracizing material) but Pearl strikes me a lot more as a carnivore and there are only two horned carnivores out there so... Carnotaurus it is haha. And even now I'm making her horns unrealistically big but.... We can suspend some belief

BigB - Oryctodromeus

"Digging Runner"! I've already talked plenty of why BigB is very rabbit behavior to me and my reasons for assigning this burrowing dinosaur to him are similar. Tldr he is fidgety and cautious yet clever and constantly buries himself underground

Lizzie - Anurognathidae

I don't even fucking know man it made me think of Lizzie and then I wasn't able to assign anything else to her. Lizzie often claims to be confused and if any dinosaur looks to be in a perpetual state of confusion then its this one. I know a lot of people like to portray Lizzie as a butterfly also so there you go, wings!!! And it's quite cat-like too for those who like to draw her as a cat

Mumbo - Leinkupal

I really struggled with Mumbo... So many different dinos fit him imo but I figured it should be at least something moderately large (so "Technosaurus" was out of the question lol). Then I rediscovered this dinosaur whose name translates to "vanishing family" and then I thought about LL and SL and how Mumbo went out quickly after the initial death/s and left a very felt absence in someone's alliance and then I became really emotional and forgot what I was doing

Joel - Nodocephalosaurus

Bdubs - Psittacosaurus

"Knob Headed Lizard"

Joel as an Ankylosaur has been stuck in my head from day one of assigning dinosaurs to the Lifers and I'm frustrated that I can't truly explain why. You'd view an Ankylosaur as a slow and docile creature, even compared to other herbivores, but...

1. Maybe not so much nowadays, I don't know what non-dino nerds think, but I feel like ankylosaurs were largely believed to be HUGE back in the day, much like velociraptors, when in reality they're not that big. The Nodocephalosaurus is especially small even among other ankylosaurs. But, well, we all know what Joel loves to say about himself

2. Joel is or likes to make himself look well in control, just as ankylosaurs have little to worry about as far as predators go. Especially in earlier series where he was content basing mostly by himself. It's always when things get dire and he enters his red life that he becomes very impulsive and erratic like an ankylosaur flipped on its back

3. I know there's a distinction between Traffic Joel and Empires Joel and whatever other Joel but... Even in death games his more charitable traits shine through here and there. He really becomes a dangerous rascal for a large majority of the time and he's very good at it, he's not putting on a mask or anything, but I like to remember that underneath that tough spiky armor is gentleness and caring. His care towards Lizzie and Pearl and Etho etc etc

4. The image of Joel as a hell of a spiky creature is just really fun to me. Yet heavy and blunt ones! And someone once proposed the idea of him having a club tail but having chiselled it to be sharp to mirror him being a menace. (Added benefit also that it's lighter that way haha) To me he's always been an obvious heavy hitter rather than stealthy or particularly creative etc. Him as a carnivore just doesn't work as well for me

The name bares no fitting meaning but when I look at Bdubs I think of Psittaco. All other species close to it in looks are already ceratopsians and we have like... 3 of those already lol. Im sorry Bdubs you look so stupid

Cleo - Lythronax

There's so few predators in this roster lol oops, but Cleo deserves to be an apex one! The name translates to "Gore King" because you know, zombies... and you know, Cleo is very king so true. If any of the Lifers should be able to boast rows of razor sharp teeth to gore others it should be ZombieCleo

Scott - Theiophytalia

I've been really struggling with Scott but how about the dinosaur whose name translates to "Belonging to the garden of Gods". There's only one known specimen of this species and it's an Iguanadon looking dinosaur which I think a lot of people would regard as the most basic, possibly boring type of dinosaur (if it weren't for the Allosaurus which already takes the title of "basic straight white guy") but that further fits Scott imo. It's always been a strong point of appeal to me how MUCH there is to his character that so often goes under the radar or unexplored, and how he's very often portrayed as just some handsome looking guy as opposed to a hybrid etc. He's not at all extravagant yet has mastered his craft of bending fate in his favor, he so often has things perfectly under his control just as he wants them, etc... reflective of the name "Theiophytalia" even if you wouldn't think such a dinosaur to sport one of the most prolific names a dinosaur can have. Also garden something something flower husbans. Basically whatever Bree's take on Scott is lol. I don't wanna blab for 5 paragraphs about that blue mf here but. I hope this makes sense

Jimmy - Yinlong

I struggled with this mf the most because he's another very hashtag deep character. I felt really bad to remove his bird motifs completely because the canary is so essential to him, but a raptor nor a pteradon fit my image of him at all. I spent so much time looking into various species but it just aint it, but Yinlong was possibly quilled and we can still cover him in feathers, even if he has nothing close to wings haha... BUT ANYWAY. Yinlong is a small kind of pathetic looking dinosaur, and Jimmy definitely isn't small but he'd sure be made to feel that way. Yinlong translates to "Hidden Dragon" however, a rather thought-provoking name for such a dinosaur. Given his character, it sure does feel like there's a soul of a dragon laying dormant somewhere in him, buried by all the self deprecation and curse labels. Honorable mention to Tianyulong, a very similar dinosaur who was named after a museum, but "Tianyu" also translates to peace and content. Something that Jimmy can't yet but deserves to be

Etho - undefined raptor

Already made a loong post about raptor Etho haha which I assume yall have seen since the support towards that post is the only reason I'm even making this post

Skizz - Olorotitan

"Titanic Swan" close enough to an angel right. I feel the whole angel thing is a bit overdone when Skizz can become a malicious little creature every now and then, but swans much like angels do get viewed as beautiful and taken as symbolism of love. Much like Skizz is largely viewed as an angel and often as someone who can do no wrong. But mostly I wanted Skizz to be a hadrosaur/duck-billed dinosaur, because those are dinosaurs known for their speculated vocalizations. And what is Skizz good at? Talking and voicing his love and appreciation? Yeah? Yeah... I'm so sorry Skizz btw this hybrid idea does not work out

Again, a lot of these don't work so well as hybrids... Some like the long-neck ones I cant imagine to have more than a spiky spine back and a tail, but! These picks aren't based on hybrid potential but rather what I think genuinely fits. I did really work on this all day looking through a bunch of dinosaurs and research haha, but I do love dinosaurs a lot... If you disagree with any hey thats cool! Feel free to give me your opinions if you've any and I hope this was fun to scroll through regardless

[swagstar]

dispencer talk

[deus-ex-mona]

cute little failgirl (who rushes to school on sunday mornings)

[lovlidollie]

sorry for not actually writing anything recently :( i got tons of ideas but im just so swamped with uni work (which is so stupid in and of itself because i actually haven’t started any of it and i have exams coming up and essays due and UGH) i just can’t physically get the words out of my pea sized brain and onto here

[thormanick]

some thoughts on Hydro Archon

now that we have the first fontaine teaser and that the song évidemment (the song from France on eurovision this year) is stuck in my head on repeat

I come back to thinking about Focalors and what they're like. I have so many thoughts; I can't wait to see her.

Because she is the Hydro Archon, I think we might kinda-sorta predict her behaviour based on other Hydro wielders (can be both genuinely soft and stern when needed, might be a bit of a menace for the sake of fun).

I want her to be a reflection of a phrase "still waters run deep". On a surface, she might seem as a great&mighty archon. People love her, she is respected by her court, she knows the value of her own power and how to put it to use, she lives a life anyone could dream of [with the Archon loving the court drama this might as well be true]. On the other hand, I want her to... kinda hate it all. Quite possibly because she is overflowing with power compared to everyone else, because she has a responsibility of upholding Justice not only in the eyes of the people, but in the eyes of the Heavens. She probably has to fill quite big shoes after the loss of the previous Archon (bonus points if she knew the previous Archon personally and saw them as her mentor figure), but she kinda fails to do it (the Oceanids leave).

Is she scared of anymore failures? Is she afraid of judgement being bestowed upon her, even though she seems to be willing to accept it? ("[The laws and the Tribunal] can judge even me.") Is she scared of not being enough for her people, for the Heavens? Whose approval as a god would she want to receive more? Does she see any true value in the concept of Justice? How does she uphold it?

She is so interesting to me, I can't wait to see her~

P.S. AND ALSO YES why I bring up évidemment:

"Évidemment Toutes ces belles promesses que j'entends C'n'est que du vent Évidemment Car après l'beau temps vient la pluie C'est c'qu'on oublie C'est toujours trop beau pour être vrai Mais c'n'est jamais trop laid pour être faux

//

Evidently All these beautiful promises I'm hearing It's nothing but wind Evidently 'Cause after the sun comes the rain That's what we forget It's always too good to be true But it's never too bad to be false"

To me this is a very. Very Focalors speaking to the traveler (about the Heavens) vibe hehe

P.P.S. Also i think the recent artifact set was metaphorically about... the Hydro Archon and the First Hydro Archon??? I don't remember it clearly now but that's the source of my "Current Hydro Archon might miss the Previous Hydro Archon" vibes (I also might have completely misread the source lol)

[meirimerens]

that damn key with an F on it haunts vexes and fascinates me because the lines it triggers when given to andrey conjures seven trillion images and scenarios.

[lanarchive]

top 5 mangas 🫶🏾

i fear ive only read 4….. 😭😭😭😭 BUT nonetheless they r 1. haikyuu (finished it in two days 💪) 2. case closed (detective conan aka childhood), 3. jjk (dnfed a certain arc but im being filled in by my irl friend + i keep up with the leaks), and rn im reading 4. frieren!!!

[polarisbibliotheque]

A bit about the comic I'm working on - Weisse Rose!

Hello my dearest cryptids! Today I'm here to spread the word of our lord and savior, mothman

Ok, ok, not starting a weird cryptid cult yet but I've been commenting sparsely about a comic I've been thinking about, designing and trying to get on paper for the last year but never REALLY talked about it...

Lo and behold, it's called Weisse Rose - and I made a tumblr just for it, @weisserose-comic !

I haven't posted anything yet, but I've been planning to get it ~out there~ around April. Of course, my health got the best of me and I would have to postpone my plans yet again, but I decided to work with what I got a vastly decaying body that I keep fighting against almost 24/7 this bitch

The main vibes I want with Weisse Rose is David Bowie's song, Heroes. On this post, I'll tell you a little about the characters and overall story I want to work on - because I love blabbering about character development and endless writing :')

And hey, you may also like this sort of story from me and decide to read it eventually!

So, Weisse Rose - the main idea I had was "a bunch of punks punching nazis and I've gotta find some plot to it". And well, found the plot, it's a lot more than punks punching nazis, but this soul is still there hahahaha

I decided to write it because my country is increasingly leaning to the far-right, nazi movements are getting stronger by the day, censorship is leaning over our heads like the ghost of a far-right leaning military dictatorship we had less than 40 years ago in my country, we were on the brink of a coup d'état for another far-right dictatorship by a madman and, honestly, it's scary. I'm scared.

I've had some pretty bad disappointments with politics and life over the last 5 years and what I'm currently watching is so harrowing - it gets even worse that everyone I live around seem to be ok with it. The classic "it doesn't affect me, I'm not gonna fight against it". And I needed to find a way to cope with ALL this maddening politics and extremist groups everywhere we're living with nowadays.

Enter Weisse Rose.

✨Overall Story✨

The story is about five 25 to 30 something year olds who are trying to find themselves in an increasingly hatred filled, fascist leaning world that seems to want to get rid of their very existence and only make their life miserable while claiming to uphold "morals, values, family, religion and the true beliefs in a world filled with filth".

The five characters - Martin, Diana, Santiago, Wasima and Wollfe - play together in a band (goth? punk? metal? industrial?) and will do everything in their power to go against the increasing censorship while trying to figure out how to pay the bills, have their own lives, deal with their traumas and flaws, navigate the world as alternative people, discover what they want for a living and try to make the most of it.

Also realizing that love is the only thing that can go against hate, how cliché

And it all starts with Marty being evicted because of noise complaints and an ass of a landlord, running to Diana to ask for help more like yell at her that he's homeless and desperate

I think I'll tell most of it through Marty's POV, kinda like he's the main character...? I don't know, I like everyone and EVERYONE'S THE MAIN CHARACTER, PERIOD. But well:

✨Meet the Characters✨

Marty (guitar/vocals/chaos) is a very loud and energetic guy, the nice one you'd give your life for, kinda chill but will get in a fight if you annoy him enough. Has a hard time setting boundaries and is constantly used because of his big kind heart bless his soul T-T. Has enough energy to power a whole city though, while...

Diana (drums/punching nazis) is the tsundere™ of the band, loves everyone but will never really say it, and has Marty glued to her like their life depend on it. She is the fire to his gasoline, so to speak, and is very easy to get in a fight - constantly seen in fistfights and needing backup and/or Marty to get her out of there alive and care for her wounds. Strong but caring personality, that's why she has a "platonic hate" relationship with...

Wollfe (guitar/vocals 2/manwhore) is the tall, dark and handsome™ of the group, but honestly the walking trash-boy you should never give a shot. Serial womanizer, will only have sex and doesn't do relationships 'cause trauma BUT extremely loyal and WILL go above and beyond for the people he truly loves. Diana and Wollfe have the platonic hate relationship but, still, he's the first one who's always backing her up in fights bless his 6'2 body and is always being a flirty bitch with every single walking thing alongside...

Wasima (DJ/synths/siren), or Mata Hari, the well known LGBTQ+ underground club DJ - a powerhouse of a woman, can get every single human on their knees, can and will use her beauty and looks to kill if she wants to. Happy fun-loving lesbian, is always playing at a different club and dragging Diana along so she can teach her how to have some fun... And to have a nice bodyguard too. She would be the daughter of Aphrodite and Diana would be the daughter of Ares, so they happily see each other as sisters - just like Wasima sees a brother in...

Santiago (bass/chill/band Jesus), otherwise known as Jesus because, well... He looks like Jesus. Is from Roma family descent and is the chill, free soul of the group - peace, love and please let's not get into fights. Behind that calm and Jesus-like personality, lies the man who, when they get to play, always power-stands by Diana's side on the drums and headbangs furiously with her, making the most vicious, heaviest music they've ever heard. Will hug everyone afterwards, though.

All of them have their own bunch of problems. Wasima is arabic and insecure about everyone around her, Santiago is of roma descent and still struggling with acceptance and what he wants, Diana is an immigrant in the country they live and has some serious health issues, Wolffe is a runaway with one hell of a difficult and abusive family and Marty is a neglected kid who left home trying to find himself.

They all have a reason to be persecuted in increasingly far-right leaning politics and countries - they all have reasons to be hated by fascists, nazis and whatever other extremist groups you can think of.

So yeah, things will start nice, but there are so many things lingering under the surface that, sooner or later, they will have to deal with.

And that's what I want to write about on Weisse Rose!

✨And why "Weisse Rose", you might ask?✨

It's the name of an anti-nazi resistance created during WWII in Germany - the White Rose, in English. We tend to remember the people who endorsed the extremist views and who committed horrible crimes, but we end up forgetting the ones who stood up for the right thing. The Weisse Rose did - I know the last thing they'd want is a story about a bunch of chaotic punks fighting far-right politics, but still... It's a little nod to the guts they had to fight back.

Because hell, now I get it. It must've been SO scary doing what they did. And they went out there and did anyway, they resisted. They called out crimes. They called out racism. They called out dehumanizing of so many people. And they must've been so scared. I know I am.

By no means I think my little comic will be this huge Resistance Act™, but it's my way of coping, resisting and not shutting up when I'm seeing so much happening and feel like I can't say anything.

Maybe I can't, but Weisse Rose can. And I'll be writing, drawing and all that - even if slowly because of my health. But I will do it!

If you think it might be for you, if you're curious and want to know more about it, support and read this other story I'll put out there, do follow @weisserose-comic ! I'll be posting more things about the characters, sketches, little illustrations and, hopefully, the first chapter quite soon!

Disclaimer: I feel like I should say this though; as you guys may have noticed, it'll be 18+. I'm not inclined to censor things on this comic nor avoid delicate/taboo subjects. I will ask a lot of media literacy and interpretation, though, because I won't be explaining/making things horribly obvious. It would kinda defeat the whole purpose of the comic if I did that: the characters are flawed, I'm not romanticizing anything, people are complex, and shit will hit the fan basically hahahaha if it's not your cup of tea, you can always not drink it ;)

[sw4tch]

I HATE IT HERE bcus 1) i am a victim of consumerism, once more! but also 2) LOOK AT THE MOON KNIGHT BAG I NEVER WANT BAGS BCUS well theyre bags and i already have 2 very functional ones thank you very much BUT LOOK AT IT ITS BEAUTIFUL AND I NEED IT

BUT APPARENTLY THE FUCKING COMPANY ONLY SHIPS INSIDE THE USA PUTA MADREEEEEEEEE THIS IS HOME OF THE PHOBIA DIRECTED AT ME SPECIFICALLY

(the eyes even glow in the dark! my god look at that delicate moonberang im GONNA SCREAM)

[goldsbitch]

Blink Once

Lando thought taking care of his twin daughters would be the hard part. Turns out, he can manage. Now, figuring out which one is which - that's a whole different story.

2k word count warning: none - domestic, fluff, fun stand alone part of Norris Family Polaroids

The room is in a state one could describe as a battlefield. Tiny clothes, diapers, creams, powders and God knows what scattered everywhere. There is also an intense stare down happening between the two pairs of blue eyes and one set of greenish. The latter belong to Lando, the former to his dearest offspring. The most adorable duo of little girls that he had ever seen. Every since they were born, he's been getting random streaks of immense pride throughout the day. That is until now, when he is staring at the two little grinning demons, holding a green sock in one hand a purple one in the other. Normally, he'd be overjoyed that he had managed to keep the two happy and not crying for so long. Y/N has gone out to much needed and postponed catch up with another adult, that's not Lando or anyone they're related to. It was his first time alone with the kids. He needed to prove it to her, and himself, that he can do it.

One of their daughters was expected, the other one was a happy surprise. To say taking care of two, instead of one, was a challenge for the new parents would be an understatement. Sleep deprived Lando was begging silently for his daughters to give him at least a clue to solving his latest fuck up. Identical twins. Y/N was so terrified of mixing them up, that the color designated socks and clothes were established right from the beginning. Olivia has green, Maya purple. Right?

He sighs dramatically, standing in the middle of the nursery and trying to recall which one had which pairs of socks on.

"Oh, how great of you that you can sit on your own now," he proclaims to the two, who keep beaming back at him, blabbering and apparently finding this very amusing. "If you could just magically learn how to talk now and tell me which one is which, that would be a-mazing!"

Nothing. Obviously. They have a long way to go to be able to do that. He tries to retrace his steps one more time. He put one on the changing dresser, that must have been the one with the green socks and went on to grab the other one to put her -on the left? Or was it right? He curses himself in creative swear words for taking the socks off so mindlessly.

It might be humiliating, but Lando is self-aware enough to have somewhat expected something like this to happen. He checks the shared note he and Y/N have. Ok - so it's right, Olivia is green and Maya purple. Great. Now which one is which?

He decides to sit them down in the living room - most likely mixing them once again, but what difference does that make now, he thinks.

He holds the two socks in front of their faces. This works with dogs, it must work with children too. He tries to brush over the fact he just compared his heirs to an animal.

"So, which one do you like better? Hm? You must have developed some sort of notion of which colour is yours at this point, right?" he speaks is sarcastic baby voice as the girls keep on laughing. Lando frowns. "This is not some sort of game, ladies. For all I know this might be the grounds for a divorce and your villain origin story." Nothing. No reaction to the socks, they just keep looking at him. Adorably.

He starts to properly panic now. Calls himself a shit parent, immature dad and just plain stupid idiot. Y/N is gonna kill him. He has to fix it somehow.

He tries different approach. "Olivia? Olivia, is it you? Blink twice if you’re Olivia. I’ll settle for a burp!" he speaks to the one on the left. It's like this child has stopped needing to blink completely. "So you're Maya?" he asks and figures the response of her hand reaching up must be enough to confirm her identity. He turns to the daughter on the right. "So, you're Olivia? Does that sound familiar?"

He is going to explain this to them one day, it's going to be a very funny story of how their father fucked up their whole life. Mixed them up so much that they end up becoming drug addicts. Oh, God. He is truly spiraling. Were they born with a destiny he’s now sabotaging by switching them? Or not switching them?

"Okay, Team Chaos. Maya, blink once. Or just scream, because that’s your go-to answer for everything anyway." He watches them intently and finally sees a blink! And immediately another one from the other child. He groans and puts his head in his hands. After a moment spent in a pit of despair, he comes back to reality with new found determination. He is a father, their father. His instincts must work. He picks one up and in the air and examines her intently. Turning her left, right and upside down. And then the second one. He's got nothing. These kids are point to point exact copies of each other.

As a typical young parent, he turns to internet for help. And as per usual, he finds zero reliable advice to go with. No - there is no secret birthmark on one of them. No, they both have identical eye color. No, there is no difference in their teeth. In amidst of all of this, he panic buys a fingerprint kit and full on plans on preventing this from happening in the future.

He comes back to stare at his kids, who are uncharacteriscally quiet, calm and content. As if they know that for the first time in weeks, he does not need their help to achieve chaos in his mind.

He calls the one person who is smart, won't probably laugh too much in his face, won't tell Y/N on him and might understand his parent panic.

Max Verstappen picks up after third dial.

"Lando!" he greets him cheerfully. At least someone is having a good time. "What's up? How's the new parent life looking out for you?"

Lando gets to the point straight. He is after all running out of time. "I've mixed up the twins. Don't laugh. I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean, you’ve ‘mixed up’ the twins?" the Dutchman asks.

Lando rolls his eyes, how does one not understand the simple premise. "I mean, I was changing their diapers, I took their socks off, and now I don’t know which one is Olivia and which one is Maya. I’ve stared at them for an hour, and they’re just...Point to point the same."

Max bursts out laughing on the other end of the line, a loud, unfiltered laugh that makes Lando cringe. He waits for the inevitable to end and lets him speaks first.

"So I assume you're alone with them? Is Y/N out of the house?" Why is that important, Lando does not understand.

"Yes. I’m serious, Max! They’re identical. Identical! It’s like trying to tell apart two...marshmallows. Two tiny, giggling, adorable and judgmental marshmallows who know I’m losing it and find it hilarious."

It seems that Max is finally somewhat on board with the seriousness of it all. "Right. So what’s the plan? Are you just gonna call them ‘Baby One’ and ‘Baby Two’ until Y/N gets home?"

Lando pinches the top of his nose in frustration. "Max, I need to solve this. If I don’t figure this out, Y/N will kill me. She was already paranoid about this happening, and now I’ve gone and done it. I mean, what if I ruin their entire lives, Max? What if they grow up thinking they’re each other-"

Max is solution oriented. So he jumps into interrupting the young father, because he might have just got on forever.

"Okay, okay, calm down. Let’s think this through. Did you check for a birthmark? Sometimes one of them will have a birthmark or something small that’s different."

Lando groans loudly. "No birthmark, no physical difference, Max, my kids look identical and I can't recognize them apart at all!"

"Hm," he stops to think, Lando stops to think and hopefully the whole world stops for a moment so he can fix his cardinal mistake. "What about… I don’t know, their personalities? Isn’t one supposed to be louder than the other?"

Lando appreciates the idea, first good one. Sadly, not a helpful one. He keeps staring at menace his children are. "They’re both loud. And they both cry at the exact same time, like they’ve rehearsed it. I think they’re doing this on purpose to mess with me."

"At least you can be sure you're the father," Max rhetors and laughs again.

"Not funny," Lando gritts his teeth.

"Well, I’d mess with you too if you were my dad."

"MAX."

"Okay, fine, fine. Why don’t you just pick one, call her Olivia, and call the other one Maya, and just stick with it? What’s the worst that could happen?" he tries to calm Lando, but it backfires masivelly.

Lando is now pissed at Max as well. The guy has kids far apart in age to obviously not understand the gravity of the situation. And he's more that willing to make him understand. "The worst? The worst! I’ll tell you the worst. What if they figure it out when they’re older and I’ve been calling Olivia ‘Maya’ for years? What if Maya’s like, ‘Wow, Dad, you didn’t even know who I was?’ And Olivia’s like, ‘I always knew I was the favorite.’ And then they hate me forever and end up in therapy, and the therapist is like, ‘Your father was a moron who couldn’t even tell you apart."

"That… sounds like a lot of "future you" problems."

Lando start to pray silently to all the gods he's aware of. "Future seems pretty damn close, given Y/N probably comes home any minute now."

And that's when he hears the door open. Fuck.

"Just wait when they're teenagers and start switching on purpose," is the last he hears from Max before hanging up indefinitely. Lando freezes, the phone slipping from his hand and landing on the carpet with a soft thud. His eyes dart between the door and the two grinning culprits, who have now decided to crawl toward each other and share in their apparent victory. He whispers under his breath, “Traitors. Both of you.”

He gets up automatically, the plan now being wooving Y/N, the mother of his devil children, out by his adorableness. It worked when he was trying to get to agree to go on a first date with him, it has to work now. He wonders into the kitchen, where he sees her putting some box of pastries onto the counter.

"Hello, my love," he attacks and immediately steps all over to her personal space. Hand on her cheek, the other one on her hips and he locks them in a kiss. He's not fully certain it works, but it earns him a pleased smile. Baby steps - no pun intended. "So, what did you do?" He know already, coffee date with a bestie, bla bla bla, but he needs to buy himself some time. She tells him anyway and he is pleased to her happy, for the last time in their lives probably. Oh, what a nice journey this has been. He gets lost in the love-filled thoughts that he temporarily forgets about his predicament.

She kisses him gently one more time and flashes a look into the living room. "Look at them, so happy." Fuck, that was quick. It was foolish of him to rely on the fact Y/N might just forget about their kids. "How’s everything going? Did the girls behave?"

Behave. Right. The girls behaved perfectly. It was him who had descended into chaos.

"Yeah! All good on that front. We're a great team!" he responds, maybe too enthusiastically. He is certain this was the last time she's left him alone with the them, until they're able to identify themselves on their own. It was fun while it lasted. The pit of despair in his stomach is growing.

"It makes me so happy to see you all having fun," she says and it's the kind of relaxed smile he hasn't seen on her face for weeks now.

"Honey, do you wanna take a nap or some alone time in the bedroom?," he asks sincerely, casually tangling their hands together. "Looks like some time off suits you." This is not said as a part of his salvage plan. It is actually really nice to see her rested for once. She looks at him sheepishly.

"You're amazing, you know that?" she whispers, several positive emotions written all over her face.

"Keep focused on that," he says before he can stop himself. Fuck once again. He freezes. She winces, her spidey senses on. He glance is averted to the children now.

"Lando, did something happen?" she asks, suddenly worried.

This time Lando looks over at the girls, who are still preocuppied by themselves. "No, all good. Look at them, all content." And mixed up, he thinks, but does not add that.

Y/N does not look conviced and goes over to check up on them herself. He does not stop her. It was bound to happen anyway.

He's an adult. Knows well enough from his high demanding job that fessing up to a mistake is ultimately better than have someone find out. Deep breath in. Here goes everything.

"I don't know which one is which," he says and lets the reality of it sink in. Y/N looks at him with eyes wide out. He continues. "I was changing their diapers, took the socks of and then forgot which one is which. I'm sorry."

She stares at him, then at the girls and right back at him. To add some gravitas to it all, the kids are now playing with both socks. Lando is pretty sure the blood stopped flowing in his veins. He tries to calculate how long it's going to take him to pack his stuff up. Y/N kneels down to level with the girls and smiles at them. Lando's fighting the urge to take a photo, so that he can remember what having a family felt like. Then she picks up the child sitting on her left.

"Hi, Olivia," he mumbles and puts the sock on accordingly. Lando does not compherend. "Hello, Maya," she continues and repeats her action. Has his wife just decided which one is which and moved on? He could have done that minutes ago! He stays silent as he takes careful steps toward his family. Y/N stands up as well and looks at her disheweled husband.

"Olivia's got little tiny dimples," she says simply to provide some explanation.

"What?" is the only response Lando is capable of giving her. She waits with a sneaky smile as he comes over to them and examines the girls one more time. After a moment, he speaks again. "You're lying."

She laughs and dismisses that. "No, I'm not, look." Lando still can't see a damn difference, but decides on believing Y/N. "How do you-"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I guess it's mom instincts." Lando is stunned at how casual she is about this all. Just like that, she goes back to unloading her back to the kitchen. Lando's heartbeat slowly goes down to the normal a human is suppose to have and turn to watch Y/N. When he's sure that she in fact not being sarcastic, does not seem to be mad at him and confirms that he might just have survived this all and gets to keep access to his family, he walks over her to cherish her once again.

"I'm so sorry, I was really trying to avoid doing that," he apologizes, still not quite done being guilty. "I know you were afraid of this."

She turns to him with a smile. "It was bound to happen eventually. I was really worried about that when we came back from the hospital," she glances at the little girls lovingly. "I'm with them so much that I guess I started to see the tiny, miniscule differences. Don't feel bad not doing so," she walks over to him to be the one doing the comforting.

"If you want me to keep them straight, we’re gonna have to tattoo their names on their foreheads. I’m kidding. Kind of."

She chuckles. "Yeah, do that and you are dead."

He shakes his head. "Always dismissing my genius ideas."

"And always will be, honey," she leans over and kisses him. Just like that, the perfect moment is over. Sounds of crying creeping in from the living room. Y/N sighs into their kiss.

Lando looks at his two identical, mischievous daughters, he can’t help but smile. He may not have a clue what he’s doing, but one thing’s for sure. Life with these two is going to be anything but boring.

"Go lie down, honey. I got this," he notes and this time Y/N nods back at him.

[rebelssvy]

drunk and needy

astumu x reader

LABELS: tipsy ego atsumu. sex. smut. he’s a flirt in this. *consensual sex duhhhhh

-my ushi fic is blowing up rn so go check it out!!!

stumbling through your shared apartment you found your roommate and his friend aran. you didn’t know either of them well at all. you had only been sharing an apartment with the setter for about two months now.

he was the type of guy that was intimidating. someone you chose to watch from a distance.

“s-so sorry about him. i can put him to bed. we just went out for drinks…” aran voiced as he helped his friend through your shared door way.

the professional volleyball player never seemed one to put away a drink. at least not in this manner. his eyes were litted low, and his cheeks glowed of rose colored blush.

he was conscious, more tipsy then drunk if anything.

“it’s ok, you’ve done enough. i can help out and get him to his room. get home safe.” you motioned patting a friendly hand on arans chest. before taking atsumu’s hand in yours.

“oh- ok! have a good night.” aran said while dismissing himself.

you and atsumu weren’t ever really that close. knowing surface level facts about him. and sharing your daily conversations. but you never really knew him.

“fuckkkkk…” he groaned out following behind you. hand still in yours.

you turned around to the man, seeing if there was a problem.

your eyes were met with a gaze you had never seen before.

you continued on to his room finally forcing him to sit on the edge of the bed.

you turned around to leave, but something stopped you. he suddenly wrapped his arms around your waist.

“y/nn… your so hot- fuck.” he said out of the blue. your heart stopped. did he really think that?

“you don’t even know it but you turn me on so bad. even just looking at your ass when you dragged me here. fuck- it gave me a boner.” he stated looking up at you. hands firm on your body.

“atsumu, you don’t mean that your just drunk.” you say in a serious tone.

“oh but i do mean it. and im not drunk. i just had some shots awhile ago. i pissed it out of my system.” he said in a vulgar tone.

what was his deal?

………..

but there he had you. doggy style. ass up as he pounded you from behind. your roommate that you had led to his room moments ago now had his cock in your gummy walls.

“fuck i knew you wanted this cock. your so fucking obvious with the way you look at me. you always wanted me to fuck you isn’t that right?” he said through pounds.

you really shouldn’t be doing this.

“nn..just shut up-“ you moaned out. you didn’t have anything to say. embarrassing enough as it is he had control of you right now.

“cmon y/n you know you like it” he said.

he was so dramatic.

you cletched at his words regardless. because you really did like it.

“ohh.. fuck- i felt that. you do like it huh baby..?” saying with a hard slap to your ass.

you grabbed at your sheets whatever you could claw at.

“mmm- yea. you like all of me don’t you. i notice the way you stare at me.” he pushed your back down making your arch more significant.

you could feel his cock everywhere.

the sensation was tooooo overwhelming.

“atsumu…” you moaned out.

“i know your almost there… cum on my cock baby girl. cmon.” he said plunging his length in and out of you.

“your such a pretty girl. you know it too. we would make su- ch a cute couple.” he groaned out.

your drool was starting to collect on the sheets.

you felt the coil in your core. you were really close. it was all. too. much.

his pace sped up, and his cock his deeper then before.

“mmm- yea cmon baby. cum on my cock.” he groaned giving your ass another slap.

before you knew it your body pulsed around his length. squeezing him, aching for him to stay inside you.

“f-fuck.” he moaned out. your gummy walls clenched around him.

you blabbered out randoms about how he was so hot and so so good.

his ego was on a next level high.

he stayed in you barley pulling out in time. cumming on your ass.

he stared at your fucked out expression.

“cmon doll dontcha’ think we would be a cute couple.” he said in a playful tone as if he didn’t just fuck your brains out.

……………………………………………………………………………….

- this could be so much better idk. help me.

[mistywaves98]

Smutty Nerd Scara headcanons bc he's been plaguing my mind

Nerd! Scara who tolerates your bullying only because he thinks it's cute that you try to piss him off.

Nerd! Scara who eventually has enough of you pushing him around and finally pins you against the lockers one day when you try to shove him against them.

Nerd! Scara who smirks as he sees how your cocky exterior crumbles to reveal the weak little thing hidden beneath.

Nerd! Scara who fucks you shamelessly against the wall of the nearest bathroom.

Nerd! Scara who whispers degrading words into your ear, ten times worse than any pathetic insult you've ever thrown at him.

Nerd! Scara who adores making you choke on his fingers to shut you up so that you both aren't caught.

Nerd! Scara who reduces you to nothing but a blabbering mess, completely fucked out and unable to think of anything but his cock rearranging your guts.

Nerd! Scara who you now follow around like some obedient dog, eager to do whatever it takes to please him just so that he can fuck you again.

Nerd! Scara who makes you cockwarm him while he studies, not allowing you to move an inch as he holds your hip with a bruising grip.

Nerd! Scara who tutors you when your grades drop but it's too hard to pay attention when he's practically rubbing your clit through your clothes. The study sessions always end with him pounding you into the mattress of the very bed you were suppose to be doing work on.

Nerd! Scara who doesn't mind when you're bratty at times, taking this as opportunities to bend you over his knee and spank your ass raw till you're crying out apologies for being so rude.

Nerd! Scara who— ok okay I'll stop now, I can literally go on and on about this

[ohemgeeejay]

Since I mostly write in English, I use quotation marks most of the time. But when I write in French, I use guillemets. These «gars» if you will.

[catiuskaa]

your type

SUMMARY: It doesn’t matter how pretty you are, because, Jeongin’s been working in that cafe long enough to notice as soon as you walked in: he knows your type.

WC: 1.5k

CW: silly kind of enemies2lovers, except ‘enemies’ is just Jeongin being dramatic for a bit. It’s fluffy but also a smol tiny bit suggestive too tho. (reader being really hot kinda deal) teehee. (Also, heads up for fem!reader.)

[🔅☆☕️☆🔅]

God, no.

He clenched his fists under the counter, his eyes glued to your figure.

Jeongin shrieked in his place. No way. Why him? He groaned lowly, blinking slowly, trying to process and calm down beforehand, yet he still squinted towards the small bell above the coffee shop’s door, almost as if he could’ve blamed it for the impending dread horror he was about to face.

The smell of toasted coffee beans was almost not strong enough to cover that of your perfume as said bell announced your entrance, and it was then when he knew. Jeongin had covered enough morning shifts and worked several —if not more— evening shifts to know your type.

Pretty.

Disgustingly pretty.

So, so pretty.

Pretty hair, pretty legs, pretty nails, pretty, pretty, pretty. He held back the need to roll his eyes, your tone of voice still able to make itself heard even if the slightly crowded coffee shop was brimming with many other conversations, there it be the small child that blabbered to herself, giggling as she played with some small cars her mother had given her, or said woman, who also played with the colourful toys from time to time, while managing something on her laptop. Jeongin liked her very much. She tipped nicely.

Still, he couldn’t help but grimmace when he noticed your frown as you approached the counter, phone in hand, glued to your ear. Now, could it be that he was maybe being a bit too dramatic? Well, why, of course. His shared shifts were with Hyunjin, after all. Who, to make matters worse, was running late. Again.

“No. And I’m hanging up.” You stated towards whoever was unlucky enough to be at the other end of the call. “No- Jisung, kindly, I don’t give a fuck. If the big man says he’s not gonna pay me, I ain’t doing nothing. I am not some goody-two-shoes he can mess with.”

Your hushed voice still had the classic tone of anger he was familiar with. But Jeongin’s gaze towards you changed, almost reluctantly so, had anyone asked him. He had to hold back his eyebrows from shotting up when even if you were scoffing, still on the phone, arguing with that Jisung man on the other side, you still smiled widely at him, a grin that, had it been somewhere else, it would’ve certainly got you his attention.

But, he had to remain focused. To think, use the head that’s above your shoulders, Jeongin, he told himself. He couldn’t get sidetracked, or else you’d catch him in your spell.

Which wasn’t going to happen, because he knew your type.

Or so he thought.

He noticed an elderly woman waiting behind you, who was obviously not ready to place an order. Ah, there it was. Now you were finally going to turn off that charming attraction of yours, by—

“Oh, please,” You muttered lowly to the woman, a kind, adorable, toothy grin as you moved away from the queue. “I’ll be fine, really.”

Jeongin’s eyes trailed to you as he prepared the brownie the woman had asked for. He couldn’t believe his eyes when you smiled at him, —ouch—, a grin weirdly apologetic, which took him by surprise as you tucked a troublesome strand of your bangs behind your ear repeatedly. Disgustingly cute —yeouch— and without causing a total connundrum over nothing.

Ok. Sure. Yeah. That was totally out of character. But, no, Jeongin didn’t mind. Not at all. Definetely not. Not if you kept smiling at him like that.

“Listen, Ji." Jeongin almost flinched. He felt so lucky for not being the one being scolded by you. "The album is awesome, dude, but I ain’t touching it without being paid. We’re friends, and I love you to death, but if you call me again to make me work without a contract, I am killing you.”

Oh. Well. Jeongin may have not blushed due to your words, but certainly blushed at the way you smiled at him —again, not helpful with his situation—, but also the way you passed a hand through your hair. Ah, fuck.

He had been caught in your spell, hadn’t he?

No. No, no, no. He cursed in his head. Sure, femenine rage was hot. You were hot. Very. But, by all means, this wasn’t something he could indulge in, because—

“Um.” You snickered. “Sorry I was on the phone. Can I… er… may I order now?”

Because… um… what was the reason again?

“O-of course.” He heard himself speak, his voice sounding strange, as if it hadn’t came out of his mouth. He smiled, a bit awkwardly, indeed, but a smile nontheless. It got better when you matched it, chuckling lowly.

“It’s fine. Really. Sorry, again. I can see you’re busy, so by all means take your time.” You grinned, a smile with matching levels of innocence and cheekiness. Damn, he was already that down bad? “Could I have an espresso machiato?”

Espresso. Espresso. Not only you pronounced it right, which made the small barista inside him started to glow and shake Jeongin’s heart, that had started to beat like crazy, but the mere sound of your voice had the young man whipped.

“You're fine." Very fine indeed. "No worries at all." He nodded politely, feeling his cheeks grow red.

He started to note the order on the machine in front of him. Easy enough thing to do. Just tap here, there and… eh… um…

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He muttered, frowning.

“I, uh, is everything the matter?” You blinked, your expression showcasing a small yet sincere amount of worry.

So odd. So out of character. So, so, so cute, his heart screamed.

“This machine is just the worst.” He gulped apologetically. “Does whatever it wants, really.”

A line started to form behind you, and Jeongin panicked. Why him? Fuck, shit, fuck. That was it. Jeongin was so getting fired after this—

“Do you mind if I step in?”

Jeongin’s eyes almost got lost in yours as his gaze locked on you.

“I don’t think I can…”

“I’ll wait for my coffe, and I’ll fix your machine. Promise. I know how these work.”

The head above your shoulders, Jeongin.

"I think Hyun- um, my coworker knows how to fix it. He should be here in no time..."

"Oh, please. Just let the girl fix it." A customer groaned behind you.

"Actually, I'm still in the wrong. Don't push it, sir." You argued with a smile, shocking both the man and Jeongin, who now saw a sort of halo surrounding your figure.

“I, uh… good luck, I guess.” He sighed, shrugging and letting you behind the counter.

Oh, he was so getting fired. Letting a client step in behind the counter? Nevermind how good she smelled, how cute and hot she looked or how pretty her smile was. You rolled up your sleeves, and he almost thought he had seen traces of ink. Oh boy. He was going to get in so much trouble, in about two sec—

The machine dinged funnily, and you smiled.

“Fixed!” You sighed cheekily. “A reboot and a shake still works just fine.” Jeongin blinked, puzzled. “Guess I gotta speak with Chan and Hyunjin.” You giggled. “Thought I had taught them better.”

...

“H-huh?”

Your smile got bigger, as you chuckled again.

Oh.

Dimples.

“Didn’t they tell you?” You smiled again, taking a hair clip from your purse, swiftly tying your hair up. “I opened the cafe with them a bunch of years ago. Chan owned the building, Hyunjin had the style, and I was the coffee enthusiast.” The way you beamed had him hooked.

The both of you seamlessly got to work together, making coffes and taking orders and serving. It wasn't rush hour, by any means, so Jeongin quickly started up your order, apologizing lightly, a blush on his face.

"I really appreciate it, though." He grinned sheepishly. "Here you go, noona."

You tried to get out your wallet, but jeongin's body worked faster than his head, only able to settle his hand over yours.

It was as if a shiver overwhelmed his whole body just because of that simple touch. A system reboot.

"It's on the house." he smiled, trying to play it off and calm the fuck down. "You saved me back there. I owe you that much."

Then the bell rang again.

"Hey, Innie, sorry I was late, I was walking my fish..." Hyunjin blabbered nonchalantly, unbothered, looking at his phone until he got behind the counter. He stared at you, then smiled widely. "Noona!"

Surprisingly to Jeongin, you didn't match his welcoming. Instead you scoffed. "No. I have to walk my fish, you see." You clicked your tongue, and Jeongin couldn't help but laugh at his mate. "Actually, I think you're fine on your own for the rest of the shift. We'll go watch your fish."

Jeongin had been too busy laughing to mentally prepare, and blushed furiously when you grabbed and linked your hand with his, giddily taking him to one of the free tables.

"I don't think I should go walk fishes still in my shift." Jeongin joked lightly, still flustered.

Your hand left his, and strangely to him, the action felt almost reluctant.

"Maybe we can chat over some coffee, then?"

Jeongin smiled.

"I'd love that."

He thought he had known your type, almost as gorgeous as annoying. Which didn't came as a surprise was how happy he was to be wrong.

[🔅☆☕️☆🔅]

kats, who has to confess she hates coffee with a passion.

catiuskaa, july 2024 ©