#ok but remember how i was cleaning up my laptop and deleting shit

[0310s]

gently, by your side | jaehyun

members: myung jaehyun x gender neutral reader

genre: college au, angst, comfort, best friends! to ???, more platonic stuff in this one

tags/warnings: extensive discussions of mental health and chronic/mental illness, y/n is not okay. :(

summary: jaehyun finds you after a bad week.

wc: 2.7k

a/n: this fic’s title comes from this lovely song. as someone who’s struggled with both chronic and mental illness, it really takes someone strong and amazing to keep on going, despite everything. most of the dialogue in this comes from my own musings and experiences with mental health. i wrote this for a dear mutual of mine! i hope better days will come for you soon, whenever that may be. meanwhile, i hope this gives you comfort when things are tough! sending lots of love <3 

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5 days ago 1:28 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

(y/n) we haven’t seen each other in such a loooong time imy :(( i mean i KNOW it’s just been a couple of days since we last hung out but still!!!!!!! when are we seeing each other again !!!! tell me ur schedule QUICK !!!!

4 days ago 6:33 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeeyyyyyyyyy (with the intention to hang out) heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy reply to meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! tell me when ur free pls i miss u :((

3 days ago 11:58 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

hey i didn’t see u at the party today i thought u said u were going last week!!!  also i asked around and people said they haven’t seen u around recently??? and they don’t know what ur up to

2 days ago 2:05 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeyyyy ?????????? did i do smth?????  or are u just really busy w school and work idk either way pls just let me know :(( i won’t bother u if ur rlllyyy busy

10:35 PM sorry if i’m being annoying btw

Yesterday  11:32 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

ok i thought about it reaaaaaallly hard and i don’t think i’ve done anything to make u mad or upset w me??? well aside from that time last last week that u got mad at me for accidentally messing w ur computer and deleting ur work files WHICH IM LIKE REALLY SORRY FOR but i fixed it!!!!! i thought we were good alrd!!! are u still mad at me 4 that ?

1:00 AM (y/n)?

1:28 AM idk  i thought i was ur best friend :(( did smth change???

2:47 AM pls pls reply :(( i know we can talk this out i don’t want us to not be ok

Today  3:00 PM 🐶 cutie puppy i’m coming over.

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Sitting up from your bed, your heart thuds in anxiety as you quickly scroll through your chat history with Jaehyun. Your eyes hurt and your brain feels especially foggy, like you’re looking at the world through a particularly cloudy lens. How long did you sleep? The last thing you recall was working on your assignments last night, then choosing to sleep instead when you got overwhelmed. Even then, you slept fitfully. You remember setting an alarm at 9 AM today to continue working, but even as you sat at your desk, you couldn’t type a single sentence on your laptop. Everything felt muddled and it was as if you couldn’t understand anything at all. Even the cups of coffee you drank in desperation was of no use keeping you alert; all it did was make you palpitate.

Then you gave up, went back to bed, and you’re here now. Checking the chat timestamps, you realize you haven’t replied to Jaehyun’s messages in almost a week, which has never happened before—you talk almost everyday, even multiple times a day. Jaehyun’s last message was at 3 PM, when he said he’d come over. One look at your screen shows you it’s already 3:20. If you’ve memorized his schedule right, it takes your best friend thirty minutes to get to your dorm from his Fundamental Maths class. That means you have ten more minutes to get your shit together and clean your mess of a room. 

But right when you’ve mustered the energy to stand up, you hear a series of knocks on your door. That can’t be— “(Y/n), open up, I know you’re in there!” Jaehyun’s voice echoes from outside the door. “I asked your dormmate and she said you haven’t left your room since yesterday, so there’s no use pretending!” Shit, shit, shit! You immediately spring up and hastily fold your blankets and organize your desk, throwing away stray food wrappers and plastic cups. You open your blinds to let some air in, and the bright sunlight makes your head throb even more. 

On your way to the door, you spot yourself in the mirror. There’s no other word for it—you look like utter shit. Your eyebags are dark and prominent, your hair disheveled from tossing and turning in your sleep. You look horrendous, but Jaehyun is persistently knocking on your door, so you have no choice but to fix yourself up as fast as you can. You splash water on your face and smoothen down your hair and open the door—then there’s Jaehyun in all his glory. Your heart clenches seeing him; he looks as handsome as always, his bangs fluffy and soft and his letterman jacket fashionably oversized. He looks nothing like you in your ratty T-shirt with coffee stains and pajama shorts. His hand is halfway raised, positioned to knock at your door (he could and would probably do it all day if he had to). Upon seeing you, he blurts out: “Did I do something?”

Instead of answering him, you open your door wider as an invitation, and Jaehyun takes the hint, stepping into your dorm. Once the door is shut, Jaehyun peers at your messy room and remarks, “Wow. When was the last time you cleaned up? You’re usually not like this.”

You know he didn’t mean it like that, but his comment stings at you all the same. “Sorry, Jaehyun,” you snap, “not everyone can be at 200% energy all the time like you.” At his hurt expression, you backtrack. “Sorry, that was really rude of me.”

“It-It’s fine,” Jaehyun replies confusedly. Then he looks straight at you, eyes pleading. He’s picking at the stray thread hanging from his jacket, a habit you’ve come to known is something he does when he’s nervous. “You know what, I thought about it. For days, really, if I did anything that would make you mad and ignore me. But I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I was really worried when you didn’t reply to me for days on end, especially when we talk everyday. So if I did something, can—can you just tell me? I just want us to be okay.”

Your throat closes up and your heart pounds even faster, making you feel dizzy. You have no idea how to answer him, when all he’s ever seen of you is the perfect student who does everything right, who’s smart and good at what they do without any flaws or exceptions. How would he react if he saw you for who you really were?

The words can’t form in your mouth, and out of frustration at yourself, you tear up. Jaehyun notices this, eyes widening in worry, “(y/n), baby, no, no,” and pulls you into his arms. Almost instantly, the tears cascade down your face and sobs wrack your body. You feel pathetic crying in your best friend’s arms, but Jaehyun just soothes a hand up and down your back as you break down. His other arm is wrapped around your shoulders, and it feels like your anchor when you’re drowning in all your troubles. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he says in a hushed tone, “let it all out.” You grip his jacket even tighter as you bury your face in his chest. 

When was the last time you’ve ever been hugged like this? The last time you’ve ever been truly vulnerable to anyone without that mask of perfection you often don? The last time you felt safe just being yourself? You have no idea. All you know that is in the circle of Jaehyun’s arms, you want to be small and imperfect and yourself just this once.

After your cries die down, Jaehyun clears his throat. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t know what it is I did, but I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s not you, Jaehyun,” your voice is muffled by both your sniffles and Jaehyun’s chest. You don’t want Jaehyun to get the wrong idea that he’s hurt you in some way because of how broken he sounds thinking he’s done something to make you sad. “It’s just. Me.”

“You? What do you mean?” Jaehyun leads you into your room from the doorway. He’s holding your hand and doesn’t let go even when you both settle at the edge of your bed. His palm is warm and his grip loose enough in case you want to let go; you don’t. While you muster up the courage to speak, your best friend just sits there, waiting patiently. “It’s okay, whatever you say, I’m not going anywhere.” You don’t know that for sure, but him saying that makes you want to be truthful just this once, damn the consequences.

You take a deep breath, focusing on your intertwined fingers. You’re too scared to look at his face because you don’t want to see his reaction. “Jaehyun, what kind of person do you think people see me as?”

“Well…” He takes a moment to think about it. “Someone smart, talented, and who gets stuff done?”

In turn, you let out an resigned exhale. “Well, that’s the image I project. Of someone who’s perfect… someone who does things effortlessly. People think it comes easy to me. But it doesn’t. When people tell me that I didn’t need much effort to get to where I am now, I feel undermined. When I express I’m having a hard time, people brush it off and think I’m just overreacting. Because they think I’m perfect all the time. But honestly…? That’s the farthest thing from the truth."

Glancing up from your hands, you scan your room—your desk is a mess of papers and assignments that you have yet to get to. You can’t tell when the last time you spent time being actually productive when what you’ve been is fatigued out of your mind. When you try to sit at your desk and work, all you feel is difficulty concentrating and processing work and readings. Sleep has also proven to be elusive—no matter how long you lie in bed, you never feel well-rested. Simple actions and decisions require so much energy from you that you undeniably lack. You also constantly compare yourself to others, whom things like these come natural to them. But you’ve kept these feelings of yours secret for a long time—you’re utterly terrified that you’d be undermined for being useless and overly sensitive.   

“(Y/n)?” Jaehyun squeezes your hand, and you turn to meet his eyes. His eyes are sincere and kind. “I-I know I may not be the most empathic person, but I promise I’ll hear you out without judging you. I want to be here for you… and I hope you’ll let me. Please?” 

At this, you spill everything you’ve been feeling the past weeks—months, even—to Jaehyun. You stumble over your words and your breath gets caught in your throat, but he’s there to pat your back and to encourage you to keep going. Without you knowing, tears make their way down your face once again, and Jaehyun uses his other hand to gently brush them away. “It just gets so hard that I want to just. Give everything up. I don’t know what the use of trying so hard is when I see how other people don’t need this much effort to do even the most basic of tasks. It’s just so… unfair.”

When you’re finished with your rant, you don’t know what to expect from Jaehyun—but you’re stunned to see him crying. He’s sniffling and wiping at his eyes furiously. “Why…” You have no idea what he’s about to say, but you brace yourself for the worst. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” he whispers brokenly. “I didn’t know you were having such a difficult time. I feel like such a shitty friend for not even noticing. I’m sorry, (y/n).” Jaehyun’s eyes fill with tears and he starts “I… I thought we were best friends.” The best friends tell each other everything goes unsaid, but you know exactly what he meant.

“I…” You feel awful now for making Jaehyun cry. “You’re just. You just naturally have all this limitless energy. You’re…” Normal. Not like me. “I don’t know how if you were going to take me seriously if I told you what I was going through… There were times I’d see you, and I’d be so disappointed in myself for not being like you. And I was so scared that if I did tell you, I’d be letting you down.”

Jaehyun’s expression grows more miserable at this. “I-I’m sorry, (y/n), I never meant to make you feel unheard. And I never meant for it to feel like you couldn’t tell me about these things.” 

“It-It’s not your fault, Jaehyun,” you protest, but he shakes his head, obviously disappointed in himself.

“No, (y/n), I’m supposed to be your best friend. How stupid can I be if I can’t notice when you’re having a hard time? I didn’t even stop to ask how you’ve been doing because you seemed to be doing fine. But I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have taken things at face value. I’m such an idiot,” Jaehyun berates himself. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

At his sincere apology, you can’t help but admit it to yourself—you desperately needed Jaehyun’s support as your best friend, but you were too scared to ask for it. And honestly? You felt immensely lonely without his words and presence to comfort you. 

“(Y/n), I hope you know that I see how hard you work. I know your sleepless nights and how much effort you put into every single thing you do. Despite everything you’re going through, you’re always trying to be better than the person you were yesterday, and it’s something I truly admire about you. But I hope you know it’s okay to be imperfect and flawed and to not be okay. I want to be here on your good and bad days. I just wish I could’ve been more vocal about this earlier… I’ve really taken you for granted, huh?” Jaehyun sighs wetly, taking your hand in both of his. He’s still crying; you both are, actually. What a silly pair the two of you make. 

“Thank you for trusting me and sharing all of this. It literally means the world to me,” Jaehyun rambles. “I promise I’ll be a better friend to you, someone you feel safe opening up to about anything, whether that be your achievements or your struggles. And (y/n), if it’s not too much to ask… Could I ask you to be more honest with me in the future?” He stares at you imploringly. “I don’t want you to think you have to go through all of this alone. I want to be here for you the same way you’ve always been there for me… Okay?”

“....Okay. Okay, I’ll try,” you respond softly. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I… I’ve never told anyone about this before. But thank you so much for just listening, and not judging, and accepting me for me…” While you appreciate Jaehyun’s presence at this moment, a new wave of fatigue washes over you with all this emotional vulnerability and talking. “Jaehyun… I’m still feeling really tired, so I might go back to sleep. Sorry, I know you came all the way here to see me, but here I am being shit company,” you apologize regretfully.

“Oh! That’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jaehyun stands up from your bed to leave. When your fingers slip from each other, you feel an acute loss of warmth—both in your hands and in your heart. He makes his way to the door, slipping on his shoes, and your heart sinks. There’s something you badly want to ask of Jaehyun, but you’re too much of a coward to tell him what you truly want. You don’t want to be on your own right now, but you’d probably be asking too much of him. Accepting your fate, you settle in bed, attempting to take a nap so restless you’re sure will be of no help to your exhaustion.

However, Jaehyun himself stops in the doorway. He turns back around, a distraught look on his face. “(Y/n)... I don’t want to assume, but are you sure you want to be alone right now?” he begins. “I mean, we just had this really heavy talk. Can… Can I keep you company? I promise I’m great at cuddles—that’s what all my other friends say anyway when I annoy them with my hugs.”

When you nod, that’s all it takes for Jaehyun to shuck off his shoes, strip his jacket, and climb into bed with you. With your ear against his steady heartbeat and his comforting arm around you, you’re asleep in no time. It’s the best you’ve ever slept in months.

[untouchabyeolman]

samementha replied to your post: flower crown, 1975 and sunrise :D!

shot through the heart and you’re to blameeee!!!! darlin you give love a bad nameeee!!!!

I PLAY MY PART AND U PLAY UR GAME

YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME

[bitchiha]

A/N: I accidentally posted the request before I finished LOL. So I don’t know much about Tsundere relationships, but I did some reading on it just before I started writing and I hope I did the request some justice! Also I’m literally Kankuros bitch <3

Ps, I’m sorry I didn’t put a keep reading thingy idk how to do it on mobile and my trash laptop is broken 😭😭

Also I didnt include tobirama bc I absolutely hated how his turned out and I had to delete it im sorry 😖

✎ Tsundere relationship! (Hidan, Kank, Naruto)

Kankurō

Ahh, where to start? I think you’ll meet on a mission co partnered with the Leaf...

You and Shikamaru are sent to assist the Sand on a mission. Now, we already know Kankurō is a bit of a sassy mf when it comes to the Leaf like I think he whole heartedly believes the Sand is superior and you also have those feelings about your own village... So there’s an instant dislike for one another. Kinda like an instant rivalry.

Literally the first thing you say to him is “So, the Sand can’t take care of their own missions?” And that sets Kankurō off, “What, how dare you- ack! Temari, that hurt! I’m not gonna let her walk all over us like that, I’ll fight you right now you Leaf Village bi- ow! Temari!” Shikamaru has to hold you back LMFAOO you’re ready to throw hands “Huh, what’s that? Sounds like you’re really determined for me to kick your ass?” He lowkey liked when you said that to him lol.

Anyways, the two of you are bickering the whole entire way to the missions destination. You’ll tease eachother about anything and everything you can. So, once you find out about his puppet master jutsu its only natural that you fall on the floor with laughter. Like full on tears and strangled breathing. Now this is something you can really tease him about.

“What! You still play with dolls? I bet you have little sleep over parties with them and do their hair-“

You’re cut off because he tries to trap you in the Ant. Temari has to strangle him and force him to let you out. You’re lucky he didn’t iron maiden your ass LMFAOO.

This is the kind of the energy you guys carry whenever you see eachother from now on. He’ll see you more often too because you carry out a lot of Leaf and Sand allied missions and duties. Rip to anyone who gets put on a mission with you two tbh.

But on one particularly hard mission it ends up down to the two of you fighting off like 10 enemies. He’s trying to focus on fighting them, but he can’t stop thinking about if you’re okay. His distractedness earns him a particularly hard blow.

You end up having to fight off the remaining enemies yourself, all the while protecting him. The last thing he remembers is you screaming his name when he gets hit and the fear that was in your eyes at seeming him like that. It slowly turns to anger and then you kick the bad guys asses. He’s like half conscious but is laying there like: whatta bad bitch. Then he passes out.

Starts to really admire you after that and his comments aren’t as snarky when he sees you next. It’s more like little jabs and teases because that’s how he shows his affection, but they were no longer the hardcore roasts he’d dish out before. You probably stop flaming his ass too because let’s be real here; you’ve both obviously been attracted to each other from the start you just didn’t want to admit it.

Like cmon, he didn’t wait for you at the gates every single time he knew you were visiting just to insult you first. No. He came there to see your cute ass first!!Same goes for you, like you didn’t take all the missions to the Sand for nothing. You came there to see your fav hot headed puppet master.

He’ll ask you out a few months later, when you end up at the Sand again. Probably takes you to dinner before going back to his place. I 100% see him showing you his puppets and this time you’ll actually show your interest and not just tease him lol. Probably ends up making out with you on his workbench. Ok that’s all.

Naruto

You meet eachother for the first time at Ichirakus. Second to Naruto, you actually bring in the most cash for the place. So it’s surprising you two had never met each other before.

Until now of course. He’s just gotten back from a long mission and he’s dying for some ramen. He strolls right in and orders a miso pork ramen, but the old man tells him there’s no more pork left.

Probably flips his shit like who tf ate it all?? Then the old man points at you. You’re sitting there chowing down you’re literal 15th bowl, the giant stack of empty bowls next to you proving it. You watch the blondie charge right at you while you eat the last miso pork bowl of ramen for the day.

You put the bowl down and wipe your face just as he stops right infront of you, very close to your face. You can see the anger in his eyes, but you are not giving up. Also, the guy looks sorta comical so you basically laugh in his face which gets him more worked up.

“What are you laughing about? You just ate all of old mans pork for the day!! That last bowl is mine, believe it!” Once again you laugh in his face because you just can’t help yourself. Probably end up fist fighting eachother on the spot. Neither of you win because one of you ends up smashing into the bowl, sending it flying right at the old man. He kicks you both out, right after you pay your tab of course.

This arises a competition of who will eat all the miso pork ramen first, it goes on for a good few months. Ichirakus is swimming in your money now. Until one day, when you two arrive at Ichirakus at the same time. You basically have a show down. Unfortunately both your wallets are cleaned out and you can’t even pay off your bills anymore so you’re now indebted to the ramen place.

Narutos mission money won’t even cut it anymore and you can’t pay your debt off either. So you both have to get a job doing Ichirakus dishes until you can pay your debt off.

At first you two wanna strangle each other everytime youre in each others line of sight. But slowly — veryyyy slowly, you start to bond over your love for ramen. Like you can probably sniff the bowls before you clean them and tell instantly what ramen was eaten out of it.

You discover you both have the same favourite instant ramen, the same favourite Ichirakus order, etc... Then before you know it you actually start dating. Nobody knows how it happened because you were rivals for a good couple of months, but now all the sudden your holding hands while and eating ramen together peacefully. Mind blown.

Hidan

You’re a brand new Akatsuki member and you’re cute. Really cute. Not only was Deidara drooling over you too, Kakuzu just asked to file your taxes. Do you even do taxes? You’re a rouge ninja. Anyways, Hidan is so sure that Jashin would love to have you.

You two start taking to eachother and actually getting along pretty well, until he mentions Jashin. You shut him down so quickly after that. Like you’re not interested in his fake God, no matter how cute he is.

From then on he tries to ignore you or is just super petty towards you all the time. Like you just got back from a failed mission with your Akatsuki partner and he’s at the hideout mocking you like “if you prayed to Jashin with me this wouldn’t have happened.”

Literally so fucking petty.

Anytime you suggest an idea to the Akatsuki he immediately tears it down. It doesn’t really matter when he does though because nobody really listens to Hidan anyways, it’s just annoying.

You two get put on a mission together one day because Kakuzu has some important money buisness to take care of. Hidans so pissy about it, “oh come on! Out of everybody you picked y/n? She doesn’t even respect my religion, how are we supposed to work together!?” Kakuzu just looks at him and is like “Hidan, I don’t care about Jashin either.”

Butthurt the whole journey. If you guys get bombarded or run into trouble he probably doesn’t even bother backing you up. If anything he tries to feed you to them LMFAOOO. Such a jerk.

Then, once he thinks that all the bad guys are gone he turns to you all confidently because you got your ass whooped and he’s like “see, I bet if you prayed to Jashin you wouldn’t be injured this bad-“

An enemy just stabbed him right through the chest and he watches the look of shock on your face. That’s when he gets an idea. He falls on the floor super fucking dramatically and you have to take the last guy down for him.

Then you kneel next to him and cradle his body because yes he was such a petty bitch but he actually started to grow on you. So you cry and in this distressed moment you probably even attempted to pray to Jashin because you’re desperate as fuck.

This bitch really makes his eyes flutter open and is like; “y/n?” Really fucking plays off that he was unconscious, “Jashin... Jashin saved me.”

Your ass just got clowned but I mean you believe it because like he just got stabbed right through the heart. Even immortal people should die if they were stabbed in the heart, right? It seemed like it was the case.

So yah he basically just emotionally manipulated you into being semi interested in his religion.

Then he stops being petty with you and probably asks you to sleep with him as an offering to Jashin. “It’s only fitting! He just saved my life afterall.”

Literal definition of a sleeze bag <3

[female-overlord-3]

Bring Them Home Ch 4

I think we might be okay now <- ao3 link

Prev - Next

Alex feels warm and at peace which he basks in for a few drowsy seconds before realizing there's only one reason for it.

His face is pressed against Michael's chest with an arm over his waist. One of Michael's is around his shoulder and even though Alex is missing part of his limb, they still fit together. He tried not to think about it the last time they shared a bed but this one at least has more room and again: memory foam.

Alex let's himself indulge for a few more seconds before deciding to get up but then there's a knock on his door and Kyle walks in.

He freezes before grinning like a lunatic and brings out his phone. For once Alex isn't worried about being seen with Michael. If anything it being Kyle just annoys him.

Alex can only glare at him as he remains quiet so Michael can sleep a bit more.

The surprise of Kyle's phone shooting across the room and into Michael's hand, spooks both of them.

"Next time I break it Valenti. Here Alex." Michael passes it over before rolling over and buries his face into the pillow there.

“Did you guys have a pillow fight without me?”

Alex stares at him before seeing the 3 photos Kyle took. He sends one to himself before deleting them and tossing it back.

"Make yourself useful and get breakfast. I'm going to go through some of the data we got."

Kyle frowns but leaves to do as he's asked.

“You can just say you want to have sex. We’re all grown-ups here- ow!”

“It’ll be something harder than your dumb jacket Valenti!”

Alex lets out a breath when he hears Kyle's car turn on. He grabs his laptop and powers it up to see what he's missed. Checking the time they've only been asleep for 4 hours and it’s just starting to get dark. He'll grab the stuff he needs once he's sure Flint nor his dad have noticed anything.

"So you going to ignore me again?"

Alex's eyes flick to Michael who's flipped over and playing with the piece of alien ship, the material lighting up in kaleidoscope colors that follow Michael's fingers. The sight is beautiful until it brings back all the fear of Michael leaving and it takes everything in Alex to not let that fear show.

"No."

Michael huffs because Alex's 'no' sounds like a question.

"I'm not leaving Alex. Maybe if doing so will help my people but I'm taking you with me if I can."

Michael puts the piece back under the pillow them gets up. "I'm using the bathroom then grabbing water while we wait for Valenti. I'll get the new data stuff too."

There's hesitation before he leans across the bed and presses a quick kiss to Alex's cheek. "Do your tech magic so we can plan. I'll be back."

Alex stares after him a bit flustered as he leaves. What the fuck? He thinks unsure what to do right now but then remembers something else Michael said to him: I'm taking you with me.

For some reason that helps him focus and his mind slips back into Captain Manes mode. In the 10 minutes it takes Michael to do what he said, Alex is certain his dad and brother have no clue about their visit, and that he has everything he needs to report them if need be.

True to his word, Michael comes back with water and the pack Alex took with him on their mission. He hands Alex the water first and only gives him his pack once he drank half the glass.

"I'm going to go out into the living room and check in with Iz and the others. Let you do your thing."

It feels like an excuse or test somehow, that Michael is giving him space deliberately.

"Stay." He blurts out before trying to regain some composure. "You can stay in here if you want."

For once nice things are happening and now that they apparently said everything they needed with the addition of sleep, Alex is going to ride this wave of nice for as long as possible.

"Me making a call won't distract you?" Michael questions not wanting to disturb whatever peace they've got going on right now.

"You can stay." Alex just repeats before getting more comfortable and continues where he left off.

Shaking his head Michael reclaims his spot in the bed and uses his powers to bring his phone to him to call Iz. She picks up on the second ring and starts yelling questions at him.

"Michael! Where'd you go! What happened? I felt you from wherever you are and it was a mess of things but even more concentrated. Noah's still in the pod but I keep having this weird feeling he's- that he's still conscious or something. I just- I need you right now."

The way her voice wavers nearly has Michael up and ready to leave on instinct but a quick glance to his right helps settle it.

"It's alright Iz I'm......fine now. God so much has happened and I just woke up okay but Iz we're not alone."

Isobel stays silent but Michael can feel her shock that's slowly morphing to hope.

"There are others. We found others. Its- we need to plan and figure so much shit out but we're going to get answers and finally get to know what we are, where we're from." His voice is bright and cheerful, borderline excited.

This time Isobel's silence is almost tense, like shes trying to find the right words but every single one of them will hurt.

"But Michael… why does it hurt when you talk about them." She says it gently but there's unease.

"They were found at the crash." Is all he says because that's all he needs to.

There's more silence but it's one to catch their breath, regain composure so they can start getting shit done.

"Tell me what I can do."

Michael's brain tries to scramble for an answer because that's Isobel's determined voice, the one she uses when shes about to handle shit. He doesn't know if he has enough energy to get into that now.

"Guerin."

Michael tilts his head to the side to look at Alex.

"Let me talk to her?"

He just blinks at the request.

"What?"

Alex gives him that look, the 'how are you so smart yet so dumb' one Michael secretly loves.

It's not that he doesn't get why, the why is logical and if there was anyone who knew what to do next it would be Alex. The hold up is that Alex wants to talk to Isobel which means interaction between the two things he's had to keep separate for the past decade.

Reading the uncertainty Alex gently takes the phone from him. "No more secrets."

For some reason Michael wants to cry.

"Hey Isobel it's Alex Manes, i’m putting you on speaker phone. Right now I need to know what's going on your end so we can figure out a solid plan. My time-frame is that you got sick then better and something happened with your husband. Apparently he’s the fourth alien that’s been causing problems from my files and what i’ve gathered so far.”

The line is silent for a full minute before Isobel lets out a small choked sound.

“Do you… know about Rosa?”

The reminder of that event is… almost too much for Michael to handle right now with everything else and whatever sliver of good he was feeling is shriveling smaller and smaller, the oppression of all the bad he’s had to carry starting to- a warm hand and the following words pause the downward spiral Michael was absolutely going to fall into.

“It was mentioned but that’s not what I asked about.” Alex’s words are almost gentle, that gentleness being the main thing helping Michael stop from sinking.

“I need to know where you’re at so we can get your people free.”

“How can I trust you?”

She says it in such a hurt and broken way, a reminder of how she’s been affected by all of this.

Alex wants to say because of Michael, of what Michael is to him, but he’s not sure that will be enough to satisfy Isobel.

Michael fully slips his hand into Alex’s and gives him an understanding look.

“Hey Iz you remember when you asked if there was anyone i’d risk anything for?” His voice is quiet as he finally says what he should’ve that night. “You and Max know i’d do anything to protect you, i’ve literally done it but… the only other person i’d risk anything for would be Alex.”

“This isn’t- why didn’t I-.”

Michael comes up with the only comparison he can. “Max had Liz. I had Alex. I at least had the chance to try something before-”

The sound of a painful gasp can be heard followed by Isobel whispering, “Rosa.”

“No Iz that was after, Rosa and what happened with Alex was just shit luck but-” He tries to reassure her.

“Your hand. That morning after your hand was mangled. I thought whatever happened caused it but you never said- Michael who did it?”

Alex can see the struggle Michael is going through for trying to finally say who hurt them that night.

“My dad.” Alex answers instead. “That day was when Michael and I finally got together but my monster of a father ruined it, like everything else I love and care about.”

Isobel goes quiet again as she let's this all sink in.

"I let my dad scare me away and think I needed to join the air force so I could finally win against him but I'm not going to turn into him and I'm going to fix whatever horrible legacy my family has started."

"I still need to see for myself that I can trust you but for now I'll accept this. After Liz used her serum on him, we put him back in one of our pods and we're waiting for Liz to make something less lethal and more as a sedative but will last longer than the powder. Max and I checked on him an hour ago but he had work and i'm staying at Max's."

"Ok Michael and I will head over to you. I'll call Liz and Kyle too. Try and call Max to have him come over when he can." Alex instructs as his brain starts to plan. "We all need to fill each other in and work as a collective instead of how divided and uninformed we all are."

"Okay. I can work with that. Planning a small group meeting will keep me distracted, thank you Alex. I'll see you both soon. Michael behave."

She says, sounding more like her old self, before hanging up.

"Still kind as ever. We'll head over in 10 while I call Kyle and you clean up your mess." Alex motions to the floor covered in feathers as he grabs his crutches and makes his way to the bathroom.

"If only it was the fun kind." He hears Michael wistfully sigh as Alex closes the bathroom door.

After Alex is done calling Kyle to tell him to go to Max's instead, he calls Cameron who goes to voicemail so he tries again until she picks up on the 5th ring.

“I’m out of the alien game now Alex, so unless you can excuse my charge for firing my gun in public while ‘drunk’ than-”

He snorts. “Give me 10 minutes and if you’re still in Roswell, head over to Max’s.”

There’s a pause before Cameron sighs. “Does it have to be Max’s. I finally ended things with him.”

“Good for you but I discovered some serious shit and would really like to have someone who can back me up.” Alex asks because sure he has Kyle but he needs someone that can confirm the military aspect, who understands.

“I am pretty intimidating. Fine see you in an hour.”

He grins as she hangs up on him.

Alex walks back into his room to see it feather free and Michael with a thread and needle he apparently found, sewing his pillow closed.

"I could've just bought a new one." He says as he picks out a new outfit.

"Why waste the money when I can just fix it." Michael retorts as his fingers move quick and almost nimble like to close up the hole he made. Lifting his head up he sees Alex taking his shirt off, the distraction causing him to prick his finger and he curses.

"I thought you said 10 minutes Alex, we usually last way longer than that private."

A shirt hits his face.

"If you think we're doing that anytime soon, you're dreaming cowboy."

Alex feels a tug on his jeans and throws Michael a look.

"As much as your powers used for sex would be fun, we're not jumping into sex until we've handled everything." He pauses, "And talk like adults which includes going on at least one date."

A grin spreads across his face at the groan Michael makes. He puts a clean shirt on before he shimmies then kicks off his jeans to switch them out for a pair of softer and more comfortable ones. He leans over and quickly rolls up the pant leg over his stump.

"Fine but I will continue to flirt and by continue, I mean no more holding back." Michael stands and offers Alex a hand with a bright grin on his face once Alex has pants back on.

Alex eyes the hand unsure, so used to help being seen as him being weak or as pity for the now disabled man. He's still both surprised and happy that unlike everyone else, he doesn't flat out refuse Michael. He never truly can.

Michael sighs and gently takes Alex's hand to try and lead him to the bed. "Let me help? It's not pity Alex, I know you could land me on my ass without your fancy prosthetic," he gives another light tug, with both hand and powers, "but I actually care about you and I take care of the people I care about."

They stand there, Michael patiently waiting for whatever Alex decides. Alex still hesitates before letting out a deep breathe and accepts the offer.

"You just want to look at my prosthetic again." He snarks as he sets his crutches down and sits on his bed, Michael kneeling in front of him, his grin from earlier returning as he puts his hands up in mock surrender.

"You caught me. I want to make it so that something you need to walk doesn't hurt you or doesn't look like its made by a 12 year old. Plus a little side project will keep me distracted when I might need a break from all the crazy stuff."

Alex's prosthetic and sock floats over and settles next Michael, who gives it a quick once over before he makes grabby hands at Alex's stump.

"Give it here, extra warm hands ready to do some magic." Michael wiggles them for affect but Alex gently takes a hold of Michael's left and brings it to his stump, an even softer moment than the last time, mirroring when Michael touched it as they tried to enjoy waking up together with kisses and soft touches in Michael's tiny bed.

There's intent behind it this time for Alex, what he wants to say but still struggles to find the words to voice, that he'll try and let Michael take care of him, that they both have gotten hurt by the world and still understand how cruel and unfair it can be.

Michael gently messages the scarred skin, trying to loosen the tension he feels in the muscles there.

"Why don't we get this show on the road so we can meet everyone and figure out a plan. The sooner we do that and free everyone, the sooner we can deal with everything else."

Alex hums in agreement in his state of near bliss, the persistent ache since Caulfield now dulled to something easier to ignore as Michael slips the sock on then attaches his prosthetic.

"Michael."

The hands on him freeze and Michael's gaze lifts up hesitantly to look at his own fond one, their small world in Alex's room shrinking to just them.

Like always their faces says everything but now it's not disconnected and unsure, there's no words spoken but words aren't needed.

Alex raises a hand to cup Michael's cheek, Michael instantly leaning into it and tilting his head to let his lips skim along Alex's palm.

"This is nice." Michael breathes, the warm air hitting Alex's palm tingles.

Alex let's his hand trail down to Michael's neck and guide their foreheads to press against each other, "I wouldn't mind more of this." Alex says with a smile.

He's happy. He knows Michael's happy too. This is honestly all he wants, to be happy with Michael and continue to share moments like this.

He gives them 5 more minutes before slowly pulling away. The pout Michael gives him makes him laugh.

"We have things to do." He reminds them but the soft smile Michael has while he stares at him causes his face to warm.

"What?"

Michael just gives a short head shake and stands.

"Nothing nothing…. Just realized I haven't heard your laugh for awhile. I missed it."

Alex shoves him and tries to hide how much hotter his face gets.

"Fuck you lets go. We're taking my car."

Alex puts his right shoe on carefully then shoves on his left.

Michael just slips his boots on and heads out the door but a gentle pull helps Alex onto his feet and there's a pressure that slides against his cheek almost lovingly. He actually has to take a minute before he can make it out of his room and lockup then walk over to Michael waiting for him.

Alex punches Michael in the arm before he slides into the drivers side.

Michael just grins at him.

[redditnosleep]

A is for Addiction

by lifeisstrangemetoo. Trigger warning for graphic violence and drug use.

The day I met Annie was the day fate threw me under the bus.

She was standing outside of a head shop in the Midwestern US in the freezing rain. She looked as if she’d once been pretty, but the skin of her face had hollowed and shrunken around the bones into the unmistakable mask of a habitual drug-user. I stood under the overhang of the shop and held my hand out, letting a few drops of the icy rain splatter across my palm.

“If you just stay outside in the rain you’re gonna get pneumonia.” I said.

The movement of her lips was barely perceptible in the neon red glow of the shop’s lights as she responded: “That’s the plan.”

“There are quicker ways to kill yourself,” I said.

“I don’t want to kill myself,” she replied. “I just want to go to the hospital.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Pain meds.”

“You get pain meds for pneumonia?”

“Codeine cough syrup if I’m coughing blood,” she said. “Maybe better if I’m lucky enough to deflate a lung.”

I handed her a cigarette.

“That should help you get pneumonia,” I said.

She moved under the shop’s overhang with me and pulled a lighter out from her soaked jacket.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Nobody gives anything away for free. Especially not to girls and especially not to girls like me. If you want me to suck your dick for oxy you’re barking up the wrong tree. I’d rather just get pneumonia.”

“I don’t have any oxy,” I said flatly.

“Well we’ve got that in common, at least.”

She took a long drag and eyed me up and down.

“What’s your poison?” she asked.

I pulled out the little purple baggie containing the ‘synthetic weed’ I’d purchased from the shop.

“Are you retarded?” she scoffed. “That shit is toxic.”

“More toxic than pneumonia?”

She clicked her tongue.

“You want some better shit?” she asked.

I shrugged. “I’m up for it,” I replied.

“Good,” She said. “You’re buying, and I get twenty percent for introducing you.”

I shrugged again.

"You can drive,” she said. “I don’t have a car.”

After we got the heroin Annie insisted on following me back to my place to make sure I didn’t, in her words, “nod out and die like a bitch.” She also invited a friend, Darren, to come along with one of his ‘girlfriends’, and before I knew it, I was part of a smoke circle. They were the closest thing I’d ever had to real friends. Alone we were just some loser drug-addicts, but together we were the only people who truly understood what a cruel place the world was. We were fully disillusioned; it was us against the normal people.

But any group is only as stable as its foundation, and we were one hell of an unstable foundation.

The first clue that something wrong was happening was when we all started waking up with cuts and bruises. Every night Darren, Annie and I would black out, and the next morning we’d be beat to shit.

After a week we looked like a museum exhibit on the life cycle of bruises. First there’s purple, then a sickly yellow, and finally they fade away into nothing, but not before three or four more have cropped up in their place.

Of course, we couldn’t stop using. A couple of times I tried to cut back, but nobody else seemed to care, so I just let it slide. We looked worse and worse day by day.

Gram by gram.

Then Darren’s 'girlfriends’ started disappearing. Every night we’d pass out as four and wake up as three. I told myself they were just prostitutes bailing out on three wasters that they couldn’t squeeze any more money out of. I’m not sure I ever really believed it though.

I soon found out the truth was much worse.

It was one of those shitty Saturday mornings that aren’t good for anything except getting high when I rolled up to the head shop to find my regular brand of synthetic weed had gone, and in its place was something called Rainbow Road. The cashier assured me that it was just as good, but later that night I’d realize it was way weaker–weak enough for me to keep my wits about me that night.

I was slumped down in the smoke circle with my eyes barely open when Annie slithered up to me.

”Ok, he’s out,” she said to someone behind her. She pulled a pill bottle out and rattled a single white pill into her palm with one hand, before slipping it between my lips. She tilted my head up and slid her hand over my mouth, gripping my throat with the other hand and massaging it. I felt a powerful urge to swallow, but I managed to slip the pill under my tongue before I did.

“It’s down,” Annie said. “Is the bitch out?”

“Yep,” Darren answered. “Let’s get her naked.”

Darren and Annie began stripping the clothes from the unconscious woman like dogs stripping meat from a bone.

When they had finished, Darren reached into his pants and began to fondle himself.

“Damn,” he said, “this one looks too good to waste. Think she’s got AIDS?”

Annie clicked her tongue.

“You never learn, do you?” she said. “You really want your DNA all over that bitch?”

“Naw, I guess not,” he said. “We’re gonna clean her anyway, though, what’s the harm?”

“Just keep it in your pants,” Annie replied. “You’ll have plenty of money to buy yourself a whore later.”

“Yeah, but whores fight back,” said Darren.

“Whatever,” Annie said. “Just help me pep him up.”

Darren withdrew his crack pipe from one of the deep pockets in his tattered jeans. He loaded it up and held the lighter underneath, taking in a deep draw. But he didn’t inhale–instead he blew it directly into my face. I tried not to cough as the acrid smoke filled my nose and throat. It didn’t smell like just crack in the pipe though–it smelled like Darren had mixed it in with PCP.

“Hit him again,” Annie said.

Darren hit my face with the smoke again, and I couldn’t help but inhale some. My face began to experience a familiar floating sensation as Darren hit me three more times.

“Good, now get him up,” Annie said.

Darren seized me by the armpits and yanked me to my feet. I thought about running for a flash of a second, but a mixture of morbid curiosity and fear kept me rooted to the spot.

“I still don’t get how this works,” Darren said.

“I told you,” Annie said. “It’s scopo-something. The zombie drug. They use it on people in Africa all the time.”

“Whatever,” Darren replied. “I wasn’t really asking.”

He walked over and reached inside his bag, pulling out a brand new Macbook computer. He opened it up and fidgeted around for a moment before stepping away to reveal a shining green light above the monitor, which was pointed at the naked girl whose name I’d forgotten. The camera was on.

“You’re out of frame,” he said to Annie. “We’re live on the site now.”

Annie slid up to me again, standing on her tiptoes and whispering in my ear.

“You see that girl, Danny?” she said. “That’s a bad, bad, girl. You remember what we do to bad, bad, girls, right? We beat them, Danny. We beat them until there’s nothing left. Beat the bitch, Danny. Beat her to death.”

My heart was yammering wildly in my ears. My mind was screaming at my feet to run, but they wouldn’t cooperate.

My hesitation was noted. Soon Annie was hissing in my ear again, flicking spit with every word.

“What the fuck are you doing, Danny?” she said. “That girl’s a BAD GIRL. You need to KILL HER, Danny.”

I still couldn’t move.

Darren crossed over to the two of us, striding in a great arc to make sure he stayed out of frame of the camera.

“What the fuck’s wrong with him?” he whispered in Annie’s ear.

“Maybe he needs another dose,” Annie said, rummaging in her pockets for the bottle. As she did so I became aware of something. The pill I had been hiding under my tongue had crumbled into powder, and while I had been concerned with what was going on with Annie and Darren, it was being absorbed into my bloodstream.

Any pillhead will tell you that sublingual administration is much faster than oral. I began to feel my consciousness slipping away, dissolving into nothingness. I slipped the remains of the pill into my cheek, but it was too late.

I was dimly aware of a blind rage as I started towards the naked woman.

I awoke the next morning to find that we had once again awoken as three. I never mentioned anything about it to Annie and Darren, instead I mixed rat poison in with their heroin and left after they nodded out and died like bitches.

As for the girls, I never said anything about it to the police. I took the laptop, which wasn’t even password protected, and deleted the videos, all twenty-six of them, before throwing it in the lake. I’ve since cleaned up and become an English teacher. But sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, wondering if there’s still copies of those videos floating around on the internet somewhere.

I hope I never find out.

[spiderfan22]

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE - 3/20/17

“MONOPOLY (SCENE 2 COMPLETE)” by DJS

I finished the second scene. I’m playing around a lot with dialogue and unsure how I like the final product. Time will tell.

A bedroom:

Stylish but non-descript. Furniture just the essentials. Maybe a chair. Door to bathroom, door to hallway.

Except for the prologue, each scene ends with a hard cut to black followed quickly as possible by lights snapping up on the next scene.

As the play begins the time is early on a Friday evening.

 Characters

Kirsten / Nicole

Sara / Alex

Talia / Lainey

Rob / Clyde

Cassidy / Spence

Abram / Jason

  Act One

Prologue (preshow)

Kirsten [in sweatpants and tank top] enters with a basket of clean laundry, listening to a podcast on her phone. She folds and separates the laundry into small piles on the bed. This includes baby clothes. She puts some things away in the dresser, hangs others in the closet. She takes a stack of towels into the bathroom. Everything else she neatly piles back in the basket for distribution around the house.

She does all this at a leisurely pace. About ten minutes.

Lastly, Kirsten decides between two pieces of lingerie, holding them up. She goes with the skimpier option and leaves this in the bathroom for later. Then she exits with the basket of folded laundry.

  1.

Talia is in the shower. Yoga wear scattered on the floor where she hastily undressed. Her phone where she threw it on the bed.

Cassidy [work casual] enters from the hall.

CASSIDY      Hey.

TALIA            Hey, is that you?

CASSIDY      Yeah it’s me.

TALIA            Hey.

CASSIDY      Hey.

He stands in the bathroom doorway.

TALIA            How was work?

CASSIDY      OK. How was class?

TALIA            Great. Really good turnout, yeah.

CASSIDY      Was that one girl there?

Talia turns the water off and steps out of the shower. Cassidy offers her a towel.

TALIA            What one girl?

CASSIDY                  I don’t know, the one you said kept trying to take over…

TALIA            Oh. Carlie, yeah. Ugh.

CASSIDY      Still a problem?

TALIA                        Well, not as much this week. I think she finally got the message.

CASSIDY                  Give her your death stare?

TALIA                        I do not have a death stare. I have a “Girl, I’m Head Bitch Around Here” look, so you best Namaste that shit before things get real.

CASSIDY                  Nobody messes with my girl.

TALIA                        You know it. Hey, come here.

He is about to walk away when she pulls him into a long kiss, which Cassidy finally breaks.

TALIA            Sorry, I didn’t brush my teeth.

CASSIDY      No, it’s not that. I just wanna get changed. The reservation.

TALIA            Oh shit yeah. What time is it?

CASSIDY      Seven thirty.

TALIA            No I mean what time’s the reservation?

CASSIDY      Eight forty five.

TALIA                        Cutting it kind of close. I’ll try. Don’t forget we have to pick up Abram too.

She starts blow drying her hair. Cassidy strips down to his underwear.

CASSIDY      He can’t drive himself?

TALIA                        (Calling over hair dryer) You’ll have to come in here if you wanna talk.

He stands in the doorway. The blow dryer continues to run over this.

CASSIDY                  I just said can’t he drive himself?

TALIA                        Well, I thought since we’re all coming back here it just made more sense.

CASSIDY                  But then so will you give him a ride home in the morning?

TALIA                        Is that a problem?

CASSIDY                  Um, no. But we have lunch with my parents.

TALIA                        That’s not until one.

CASSIDY                  No, I mean it’s fine. I just figured you might want to sleep in tomorrow. We got a sorta late night planned is all and I wouldn’t want to cancel on them.

TALIA                        I promise you I will rally.

CASSIDY                  OK…

TALIA                        What, you don’t believe me?

CASSIDY                  No. You just like your whatever it’s called. Beauty sleep. And Saturday you like just bumming around the house for the first half of the day.

TALIA                        Because it’s my one day off.

CASSIDY                  Exactly, why I don’t want to rush you out the door.

TALIA                        Well if hanging out with your parents is so important to you maybe we should just reschedule.

CASSIDY                  What?

TALIA                        Tonight. I can call Abram. I mean he was looking forward to, you know…

CASSIDY                  C’mon, you. We don’t have to do that, I don’t think it’s. I just wish we had planned better. I’m not complaining.

Talia turns the hair dryer off.

TALIA                        You know how distracting it is when I’m getting ready you standing there in your underwear like that?

CASSIDY                  Talia…

TALIA                        No I mean in a good way. But then that would just make us more late. (Pause) Gotta admit, it is a turn-on knowing I can still make you blush.

CASSIDY                  Yeah…

TALIA                        You’re a little bit hard too, aren’t you?

She rubs his semi-erect cock through his underwear. He responds. Talia gently stops him.

                                   Do me a favor. Save it for tonight, OK? Because I am going to need you both big and strong. Can you do that for me, Love?

CASSIDY                  Yeah.

TALIA                        Good.

                                   As for the morning, ugh, I give you permission. Whatever you have to do, just get my ass out of bed. I will coffee, I will caffeine. And so help me god we will make it to brunch with your family.        

She resumes blow drying her hair, as Cassidy picks up her clothes from the floor and adds these to the hamper.

Her phone sounds.

TALIA            Was that my phone?

CASSIDY                  Yeah.

TALIA                        Is it Abram?    

He sits on the bed and looks at her phone.

CASSIDY      He wants to know if he should pack the oil. Oil?

TALIA                        Massage oil, yeah.

CASSIDY                  For tonight?

TALIA                        He’s really good believe it or not. He’s even considering a career change, if he finds the right program.

                                   Don’t freak out but Abram asked if he could possibly give you a little massage too.

CASSIDY                  …?

TALIA                        Not like that but just to get over any tension or nerves. And he’s really good, Cass. Like really. I melt. And if it’s not something you’re into, you change your mind, no worries. Abram will not be offended.

Cassidy doesn’t respond. He is now scrolling through Abram’s messages on Talia’s phone.

Talia finishes blow drying her hair. She is struck by the silence.

TALIA            Cass?

He quickly stops what he’s doing on her phone.        

           This isn’t. You’re not feeling jealous are you?

CASSIDY      What? No.

TALIA                        Because that’s just nerves. And nerves? Nerves are fine. Nerves are expected in this sort of.

CASSIDY                  I’m not.

TALIA                        I mean we’re entering uncharted waters here the three of us.

CASSIDY                  I.

TALIA                        You’ve never seen me with another man.

For a moment Cassidy simply stares at Talia who has paused in taking a dress off a hanger.

CASSIDY      No, you’re right.

TALIA            You feel like there might be competition.

CASSIDY      I don’t. That’s not what I’m.

TALIA                        It’s OK, Cass. You’re my primary partner. If you told me to pick up the phone right now and tell Abram I could never see him again. Well I’d be upset, we’d have to talk about it obviously but. If that’s what you really wanted and it just became a deal breaker? Then deal broken.

CASSIDY                  I.

TALIA                        I know. I know that’s not what we’re talking about. This is butterflies, not an ultimatum. Right?

CASSIDY                  Yeah.

TALIA                        Are you gonna want to look away when he kisses me? Maybe. The first time you see him touch me is every instinct in you gonna want to yell, tell him to stop? Yeah. What you have to remember in that moment is that’s reflex. That is upbringing.  

                                   I mean you think I didn’t want to pull that bitch’s hair?

CASSIDY                  What?

TALIA                        The girl, Cass, the one I watched go down on you. The first time I might add. I forget her name now but I’m pretty sure it was at Lionel’s New Year’s Eve party.

CASSIDY                  Ahh.

TALIA                        Yeah.

But that was a decision I made. To let you have that. To let you explore. I had wanted it, agreed to. Still though, didn’t make the impulse to throttle her any less though.  

CASSIDY                  You.

TALIA                        Oh I was pissed. For about a minute. You just didn’t notice because, well, you were busy.

She slips into a revealing dress.

                                   Zip me up?

He does.

                                   Thanks.

She returns to the bathroom to start doing her hair. Cassidy stands there a moment thinking. He opens a dresser drawer. He stops.

CASSIDY                  I’m sorry.

TALIA                        It’s fine.

CASSIDY                  Still. I don’t want to ruin this for you.

TALIA                        You won’t.

CASSIDY                  I won’t. How do you know? How do you know I’m not gonna lose it. Or, or not be able to perform. Or get sick when I see you. When you and. When he.

He sits on the edge of the bed holding a pair of dress socks. Talia comes out of the bathroom. She walks slowly over to him. She wraps him in her arms and Cassidy sighs.

TALIA                        Because. Because. You love me.

  2.

Rob [athletic shorts, barefoot] reclines on the bed. He is talking on the phone with his brother, a laptop open on his lap.

ROB    No.

           No. You’re not getting Chapman, not for Beltre.

                                   Because it’s a dumb trade. I’m not. Hey I’m not gonna leave myself without a single decent relief pitcher. I don’t care if you let me have Matt Harvey last year, he went 4 and 10.

                                   Besides.

                                   Besides, no, listen. Would you shut up and listen for a second. Chris. The trade would still have to be approved and that’s. It’s.

                                   Why? Because it’s gonna look like nepotism, are you. Like I’m intentionally.

                                   On top of. On top of which. OK can you just. Please. On top of which no one would believe it. No one’s gonna believe I’d make a trade like that. I won last year, Chris, I won, I took home the. By making smart trades that’s. At the right.

Long pause. Rob lets his brother go on, half listening. He reaches down and picks at a toenail.

                                   K, are you. Are you done? Did you say everything you, are you through pleading your little case because I’m just gonna tell you there’s no.

His brother asks him something.

                                   Yeah I got it.

No I wish you wouldn’t send me things like.

No I know it’s supposed to be a joke it’s just Kirsten doesn’t.

Course I didn’t show her, c’mon don’t be. I deleted it.

Well just in the future, OK, you don’t have to. You can leave me off those in general. Thank you, yeah.    

Kirsten enters from the hallway. Rob looks up. There is a feeling that she has caught him at something.

           Yeah. Hey Chris I’m. Kirsten just walked in so I better.

She goes into the bathroom and shuts the door.

           What?

Oh, well, maybe. I’ll think about it. Chapman for Encarnacion is certainly a better deal, so.

Tomorrow. By tomorrow. No I know you want him for this next week but if you keep texting me over and over all day all week like you did this week then.

The toilet flushes. Rob looks towards the bathroom.

Whatever, just you come off a little desperate and it’s one thing with me I’m your brother but the other guys if you hound them like you. I mean if you’re like this with them they’re, they’re not gonna want to have you in the league. Is all I’m.

No I don’t think that’s. I’m just telling you so you’ll. Work on it, yeah. And get some sleep OK? You looked like shit last weekend at Lucy’s, at her.

Kirsten comes out of the bathroom. Rob nods at her, smiles. He makes a signal like he is trying to get off the phone but his brother won’t let him.

No you. Don’t apologize, it was fine just. Well you can tell me not to worry I’m still.

OK Chris well I better. I will yeah. Tomorrow, I don’t know what time but.

What? No I didn’t see that. They let him go that’s. When did this happen today? You’re right it’s crazy doesn’t make any.

All right Chris I’m gonna. Yeah well, talk to you tomorrow. G’night. Night.

He ends the call.

           (To Kirsten) Sorry.

KIRSTEN       Is he OK?

ROB                            Yeah, he’s just. Well, he’s Chris so it’s like there’s a million things going on with him at once.

KIRSTEN       Did you talk about happened at Lucy’s birthday?

ROB                            Briefly, yeah. You know my brother, hard to get him to focus on any.

KIRSTEN       Well did he at least apologize when you called him out?

ROB    Yeah, he felt bad.

KIRSTEN       Is that it?

ROB    No, he was worried he had embarrassed himself.

KIRSTEN       And upset Lucy.

ROB    Oh c’mon how could he. She’s just turned one, she doesn’t.

KIRSTEN       When he yelled.

ROB                            Raised his voice, I don’t know if that’s.

KIRSTEN                   The argument with your dad.

ROB                            No, you’re right, that was stupid. Obviously a birthday isn’t the venue.

KIRSTEN                   I just think if no one calls him out for his bad behavior then.

ROB                            And I told you I did, so.

KIRSTEN                   Please, you let him off the hook, I heard you on the.

ROB                            Then why’d you ask me?

Pause. Kirsten sighs. She sits on the bed.

KIRSTEN                   I don’t want to do this.

ROB                            What?

KIRSTEN                   Fight. I mean this is our first full weekend in a year, since Lucy was born that we’re alone. We specially arranged it with my mom to take her for the weekend and this is not how I want to spend it. This time is important.

ROB                            I agree.

KIRSTEN                   I think we’ve gotten kind of off track on some things.

ROB                            You mean like sex.

Kirsten laughs unexpectedly, shocking both Rob and herself. Then he laughs. It feels good and some of the tension dissipates.

KIRSTEN                   Exactly.

ROB                            Well you know I’m onboard with that.

KIRSTEN                   I figured you would be. Horn-dog.

And I thought tomorrow we could maybe go to the farmer’s market?

ROB                            Sure.

KIRSTEN                   Or see a movie. I mean when was the last time we got to go to the.

ROB                            Yeah.

KIRSTEN                   Or just play things by ear. After all, we might be tired. Want to sleep in…

She traces a finger up his leg to his thigh.

                                   What do you think?

ROB                            Yeah, I’m up for all that. I just need to decompress a little first if that’s.

KIRSTEN                   Oh. Sure.

ROB                            Work this week was just.

KIRSTEN                   Me too, me. Yeah, relax on the couch for a bit. Maybe get a movie on demand. I can even rub your shoulders, get out some of that stress.

ROB                            Sounds good. I’ll be down in a minute and we can decide.

KIRSTEN                   No rush.

ROB                            Thanks babe.

KIRSTEN                   Can I just borrow the laptop?

ROB                            Oh but I’m.

KIRSTEN                   Hmm?

ROB                            I’m still using it.

KIRSTEN                   For what?

ROB                            For what, what does that. For checking my team. I still need to finalize my roster before next.

KIRSTEN                   You can do that on your phone though can’t you?

ROB                            Um.

KIRSTEN                   Because I’ve seen you when we’re out make changes and stuff.

ROB                            Yeah, I guess. But what do you need it.

KIRSTEN                   Oh I’m just looking for a few things on Amazon.

ROB                            And you can’t do that on your phone just as easy?

KIRSTEN                   My log in information.

ROB                            What?

KIRSTEN                   My log in’s saved on the computer. For Amazon. And I don’t remember it so I wouldn’t be able to sign in otherwise.

ROB                            But I’m right in the middle of.

KIRSTEN                   Your fantasy thing, you said could do it on your phone.

ROB                            I can but it’s not.

KIRSTEN                   Well I can’t do any of my stuff till I have the computer.

ROB                            You could wait for me to get done, seriously it’s not gonna take.

KIRSTEN                   But the point is I want us just to be able to relax tonight by getting whatever work we have to do out of the way now. The things I’m looking for that I wanna order and your thing, which you really don’t need the laptop for.

Rob stares at Kirsten. She waits.

ROB                            Fine, here, if it’s that big a.

He closes the laptop more firmly than necessary. He gives it to Kirsten.

KIRSTEN                   Thank you. I’ll see you downstairs. How much longer?

ROB                            I don’t know.

KIRSTEN                   Well don’t take too long.

ROB                            OK.

She is almost out the door when he remembers something.

ROB                            Oh shit Kirsten, I. Can I have that back for a second? I forgot to log out of my email.

KIRSTEN                   That’s OK, I can do it.

ROB                            No but I was in the middle of sending a. I don’t want to lose it.

KIRSTEN                   I’ll save it to your Drafts folder then. Is it a work thing?

Slight pause.

ROB                            Yes.

KIRSTEN                   Then I’ll be extra sure to save it.

ROB                            I should really just finish the email now while it’s. While I’m thinking of it. Just take a minute.

Pause.

KIRSTEN                   OK.

She gives him the laptop back. Rob makes a show of finishing an email and sending it over the following.

ROB                            You can wait I’ll hand the laptop right back.

KIRSTEN                   No just bring it down when you’re done.

ROB                            You don’t want to shop now?

KIRSTEN                   I’ll just have to do it while we’re watching TV. Sucks.

ROB                            But two seconds.

KIRSTEN                   Don’t forget to bring it down with you.

ROB                            Kirsten.

But she’s gone out the hallway.

Rob stops typing. He stares at the door, then back at the laptop screen. He looks at the door.

[zolganif]

I’m 17. My birthday is in November. I’m single. My last bf went back to his ex. I recently discovered a band that i really like.

Summer is my favorite season. I remember what happened March 13th 2009. I have a lot of guy friends and girl friends. I’m currently grounded. I like going out and having a good time. I have cut myself before. I have a quote site. I hate liars. My toenails are currently painted red. I’ve had the same best friend since the 6th grade. I deleted my Myspace exactly a year ago. I had fun on Valentine’s Day. I want to have at least 2 kids in the future. I wish I never quit cheer. I’ve been out of the country a few times. I’ve never met anyone with my last name other than family. I like dressing up and I’m very girly. I like it when people are patient with me. I guess I can be a hypocrite sometimes. And I’m ok with admitting that. I listen to different kinds of music. I’ve kissed 3 guys so far this year. My favorite color is hot pink. I thought Lady Gaga was way older than 29. My older brother and I are very close. Most of my friends are older than me. I want to go shopping and buy summer dresses. I like watching the Bad Girls Club and Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I wish I could sing. I’m usually texting. And/or listening to music.

I shower every day. I’m a junior in high school. I have a boyfriend over the age of 18. I enjoy almost all types of music. I failed my road test. I plan on going to college after I graduate. Currently, I think I would like to be a pastry chef. Pathological liars piss me off. Ellen Hopkins is my favorite author. I own more than 10 hoodies. Iced coffee is better than hot coffee. Turkey clubs are one of my favorite foods. I don’t eat seafood. Or beans. I’m in love. I’m pretty good at drawing. I get sick often. I can’t go a day without texting. I love strawberries. I want a bunch of tattoos. I also want my lip pierced. My room can never stay clean. I cook and do my own laundry when I’m home. I’m unemployed. My grandmother and I have a pretty close relationship. I don’t talk to my biological father. My mom is a short-tempered person. Transformers is one of my favorite movies of all time. Heroes is my favorite TV show. ^I love Hiro, Peter, and Sylar the most. I eat at Papa Ginos a lot. I have way too many pet peeves. I believe that aliens exist. I’ve never been obsessed with Twilight. I’ve read the series though and loved it. I take birth control pills. I love the colors red and purple. I go to Warped Tour every summer. I wear jeans every day. I’ve owned at least 3 pairs of Vans. Say Anything is a good band. I hate winter. I own an iPod Touch. I have over 2,000 songs on my iTunes. My phone’s a piece of shit. I live in Massachusetts. Call Of Duty games are awesome. I know how to drive. There’s a piece of jewelry I wear everyday. I have never consumed alcohol. I have never smoked. My best friend is older than me. I get along with most people. I enjoy the little things in life. I prefer pens to pencils. Football is one of the only sports I watch on TV. There’s a dictionary in my room. I own a PlayStation 2. And a Gamecube. I’m 16 years old. Christmas is the best holiday. I rarely ever go to the mall. Blink-182 has been my favorite band for years. I have a Twitter, but I never use it. I have 4 pets. I’ve held a chipmunk before. I’m always stressed out about something. I hate people who complain constantly. I need to work out more. I don’t have any brothers or sisters. Sometimes I sleep with my TV on. I log into Facebook every day. My room is huge. Hardcore dancing is stupid. I hate Tom Cruise.

I have seen the Statue of Liberty in person. I have been taking surveys for at least 4 years. I actually like the taste of beer. I change my layout a lot. I love Adult Swim. I usually just wait to rent a movie, instead of going to see it in theaters. I have had the opposite sex stay over while my parents were gone. I have taken a pregnancy test. I usually listen to music when I take surveys. I eat some sort of candy every day. My favorite actress isn’t very famous. I am dressing up for Halloween this year. I have a pretty common last name. I have never been to a Drive In. I want to live in another country. I love reality shows. My best friend is younger than me. I eat pizza at least once a week. I have at least one tattoo. I love dry eraseboards. I wear dresses a lot. I have cut my own hair. I call carbonated beverages ‘pop.’ I’m trying to grow my hair out. I’m using a laptop to take this survey. I have stolen a lot of things. I have been arrested. I subscribe to at least one magazine. My phone has a touchscreen. I love clean shaven men. I want to lose weight, I just have trouble getting motivated. I would rather take short surveys over long ones. I change the channel when commercials come on so I don’t have to watch them. I’m very bad at public speaking. I rarely get on Facebook anymore. I straighten my hair a lot. I really need a job. I know someone who drinks everyday. I’ve had something very valuable stolen from me. I have been depressed a lot lately. I want to have at least two kids. I have had surgery. I’m on birth control. I love cooking for people. I wrote on my walls when I was little. I have dyed my hair an unnatural color. I have had food poisoning. I am going shopping soon. I have unlimited texting. I still play on kid websites.

[softgaypunk]

Get to Know Me (its a tag im just gonna fill it out because Identity) 

1. What is your middle name? Logan

2. How old are you? 18

3. When is your birthday? december 9th

4. What is your zodiac sign? sagittarius ♐️

5. What is your favorite color? yellow

6. What’s your lucky number? i dont have one

7. Do you have any pets? 3 doggos, 2 cats, and a bunch of fish

8. Where are you from? my parents are from italy and ireland, i was born in north carolina, raised a lil in new york, but mostly from maryland

9. How tall are you? i'm smol, only 5'3"

10. What shoe size are you? 5 in mens (i know i got teeny feet)

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? i only wear 3 pairs

12. What was your last dream about? i dont remember 

13. What talents do you have? im really observant and im good with coloring

14. Are you psychic in any way? i mean i pick up on things that a lot of other people dont and sometimes i can predict a future scenario but i dont think of myself as psychic

15. Favorite song? cant pick

16. Favorite movie? cant pick

17. Who would be your ideal partner? well im attracted to all genders- ideally they would be my best friend above all things, but mostly funny, supportive, and kind

18. Do you want children? nope

19. Do you want a church wedding? i dont believe in getting married

20. Are you religious? im ~spiritual~

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? yea

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? not really

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? i met trixie mattel? thats about it

24. Baths or showers? showers are more efficient & baths are more calming- it depends on what im in the mood for

25. What color socks are you wearing? bright blue

26. Have you ever been famous? i had a really popular instagram account a few years back but then i deleted it (i wouldnt call myself famous tho lmao)

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? no

28. What type of music do you like? alternative, soft, raspy

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? usually six

31. What position do you usually sleep in? curled up, on my side

32. How big is your house? my parents house is typical suburban but my home is a small dorm room

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? a bagel

34. Have you ever fired a gun? yea

35. Have you ever tried archery? i have (i failed badly)

36. Favorite clean word? ethereal

37. Favorite swear word? fuck :)

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 2.5 weeks

39. Do you have any scars? yea but most have faded a lot

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? mhm

41. Are you a good liar? i wish i was but im not

42. Are you a good judge of character? kinda

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? i can! im decent at a southern accent and i used to be able to do a british accent

44. Do you have a strong accent? southern i guess

45. What is your favorite accent? russian but i cant do it

46. What is your personality type? infp

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? all of my shit is from goodwill or salvation army so

48. Can you curl your tongue? sometime

49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie

50. Left or right handed? right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? no i think theyre really cute! they have 8 eyes too

52. Favorite food? mac n cheese

53. Favorite foreign food? i like papusas

54. Are you a clean or messy person? clean

55. Most used phrased? holy shit

56. Most used word? either fuck, smol, or 'lil'

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? not very.. maybe 5 minutes?

58. Do you have much of an ego? fuck ass no

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? lick for a lil and then i Cronch

60. Do you talk to yourself? yes

61. Do you sing to yourself? yes

62. Are you a good singer? meh

63. Biggest Fear? bunies & abandonment

64. Are you a gossip? tea is tea ☕️ (if its harmless. if its problematic shit i call it out.)

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? i dont fucking know, my memory is shit

66. Do you like long or short hair? on other people, long. on me, short

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? ya 

68. Favorite school subject? creative writing or art

69. Extrovert or Introvert? introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? no

71. What makes you nervous? bunnies, loud noises, literally existing

72. Are you scared of the dark? sometimes

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? grammar, no. racist/homophobic/transphobic/ableist/other problematic thinking? hell fucking yes i do

74. Are you ticklish? too ticklish

75. Have you ever started a rumor? probably in middle school

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? yea and i hated it

77. Have you ever drank underage? yea but i dont like drinking anymore

78. Have you ever done drugs? just weed

79. Who was your first real crush? i called him baby brown eyes and i dated him for a year

80. How many piercings do you have? 2 right now (gauged ears) 

81. Can you roll your Rs? depends on the word

82. How fast can you type? on my phone, very, on my laptop, slow as a turtle

83. How fast can you run? i used to be really fast but now i can barely run at all bc Dysphoria and Bouncing Chest are not good together

84. What color is your hair? dark brown

85. What color is your eyes? they change but usually green

86. What are you allergic to? grass, pollen, dust, cats, mold

87. Do you keep a journal? no

88. What do your parents do? ruin things

89. Do you like your age? yea its ok i guess lmao

90. What makes you angry? problematic things

91. Do you like your own name? i named myself so yea i like it (it means blessed in hebrew :) )

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? im not having a child

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? gender is a constricting construct

94. What are you strengths? good friend, good observer, v affectionate

95. What are your weaknesses? confrontation

96. How did you get your name? i looked up baby naming sites and found 'A' names (because thats what my deadname started with) and found asher!

97. Were your ancestors royalty? hell no both sides were poor as hell

98. Do you have any scars? this is the exact question from 39

99. Color of your bedspread? i use a brown soft blanket

100. Color of your room? at college, tan, at parents house, grey