#ok Baz’s hair is glorious too

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

Love them 💚

Happy October everyone 🍂✨🍁

[xxrainbow-princessxx]

At What Cost? - Ethan Ramsey x Candice Valentine (Part 1)

A bit of a two part story, a play on this weeks chapter focusing on Ethan and MC’s relationship. She decides her rotation at Edenbrook isn’t all it seems and maybe a new start would be best for them all. Will Ethan talk her round?  trigger warning - a little angsty, a bit of violence, cursing

@drakewalkerfantasy @i-am-liam-rhys @lorirwritesfanfic @lorircreates @desireepow-1986 @glorious-fandoms​ @the-everlasting-dream​ @rainbowsinthestorm​

“Hey guys...” Candice sighed, her cheeks flushed from running from one end of the hospital to the other, “Sorry...” she pulled out her seat beside Baz and June before sitting down, “I got here as fast as I could...” Ethan took the MRI from under Candace’s nose, slamming it into the light box for contrast to see the film more clearly. “Patient from Jefferson, Mr. Thomas Connors...” He narrowed his eyes looking at the scan, “No lesions or no signs of atrophy on initial consultation but cognitive abilities have progressively worsened and memory is impaired...” Candice listened carefully as Baz and June recited one differential after the other, discarding each other’s ideas within seconds, “But it could be an infection...”, “No... there is no history of temperature and lumbar puncture was clean... more like toxin...” Without even looking at her, Ethan barked, “Dr. Valentine! Go run new U&E’s, FBC’s, Tox screen and MRI. We will re-evaluate once we gather more information.”

Since returning to Edenbrook, Ethan had to contain his feelings for Candice and now with Naveen placing her on the diagnostics team, he had to distance himself even more. He didn’t want to give her false hope and kept his distance and his silence was deafening. Picking up the patients record, Candice took a deep breath, her eyes fixating on Ethan. In a crowded room, she never thought she would feel as alone as she did. All Candice wanted to do was scream at him, but she knew it was useless. With the file in her hand, she pushed her chair out and left Ethan’s office. Swallowing hard, Candice ran her fingers through her long blonde hair, tousling the golden strands that framed her face, distracting herself from wanting to cry. She knew that this would have to be her final case on the diagnostics team, the way things were going; transferring to another hospital to finish her rotation seemed to be the most logical step.

As Candice’s heels clicked along the corridor, she was in her own little world. “Woahhhh!!!” shouted Bryce, his hands up as Dr. Valentine bumped into him, “Earth to Candice?!” The physical thud brought her back into the now, shaking her head as she began to giggle, “Bryce... oh my god, I am so sorry!! Are you ok?” Bryce casually looked her up and down, slowly smirking as he admired her jade green dress that emphasised her figure under her white lab coat. He began to grin, “You can buy me a drink later to apologise...” his cocky attitude always made Candice laugh and right now, she needed that. “You’re on Lahela...” she began to smile warmly, “I’ll meet you at Donahue’s after my shift...” Bryce winked at her playfully before walking off, shouting behind him, “It’s a date!” Candice began to shake her head from side to side as she rolled her eyes, muttering “He’s an idiot...” between giggles.

Her deep ocean blue eyes fell towards the folder in her hands, checking the name and room number before entering. With a broad, bright welcoming smile; Candice entered the room to find the patient. Walking towards the end of the bed, Candice pumped some antibacterial hand gel into her hand, running it around before she opened the file up onto the tray table in front of her, “Good morning Mr. Connors...” she spoke warmly, “My name is Dr. Valentine and I will be one of your physicians here at Edenbrook... how are you feeling today?” Candice watched carefully as the patient slowly returned her smile, “Yeah doc...” Mr. Connor pulled himself up the bed, “it hasn’t been too bad...” As Dr. Valentine noted the patients demeanour she closed over his file. Diagnosing was not just about lab results and tests, but also how the patient interacted with the doctor and their mannerisms. “Alright Mr. Connors... I just need to do a few tests if that’s ok?” Taking a torch from her pocket, Candice shown the light into his eyes to check his pupil reaction “Yeah... that looks great... ok, Mr. Connors... I need to take some blood samples, but it shouldn’t be too intrusive...”

The patient raised his brow becoming slightly agitated but not enough to cause Candice any worry, “Why? What for?” Whilst she was picking through the equipment, she cooed, “This is just to make sure nothing has changed Mr. Connors from your last results taken at Jefferson...” she returned with a new set of gloves, a tourniquet and a needle set, “Don’t worry... this won’t take too long, I promise...” with a reassuring voice, Thomas began to calm down as Candice applied the tourniquet, placing her hand gently on his arm. She waited a few moment before her fingers tapped the inside of his elbow. “That’s it...” she cooed, “One little sharp scratch...” quickly she entered the needle before releasing the rubber tourniquet from his arm, getting the samples she needed, “There we go...” Candice calmly spoke, “That wasn’t too bad...” As she disposed of everything, Dr. Valentine reopened Mr. Connors record, documenting everything before grinning, “I have an MRI with your name on it this afternoon... Hopefully we will be able to get to the bottom of this soon... if you need anything...” Candice pointed towards the alarm on the beside cabinet, “Please press the buzzer and we’ll get someone down here as soon as we can...” cleaning her hands again, she set off on her normal rounds, dropping off the samples at the nurses station for testing.

Today was no other day for the young senior resident. The sun was shining through the long narrow vertical panes of glass that filled the hospital, flooding the atrium with light as she completed her patients paperwork and filling out some discharge forms. Candice sucked in her cheeks as she tapped her pen rhythmically against the bundle of paper beside her as she began to re-read the Connors’ case - something wasn’t adding up. Jefferson’s diagnostic team were just as good as Edenbrook, so why the transfer? The patients scans and bloods weren’t exactly perfect, but they would not have caused the same symptoms. He had markers for meningitis but broad spectrum antibiotics were unsuccessful. Her thoughts were interrupted as her pager buzzed in her coat pocket, it was Ethan. Finishing up her last signature, Candice placed her files into the tray for follow up and proceeded to make her way to Ethan’s office. Knocking before entering, Candice pushed the door forward, “Dr Ramsey... you wanted to see me?”

Ethan stared out the window, hands in his pockets without saying a word. Candice’s eyes slightly narrowed, head tilting slightly to the left, “Ethan is everything?...” Her eyes flickered between a light blue to a silver watching as Dr. Ramsey’s shoulders lowered, slowly turning to look at her. “Cand...” Ethan stopped himself, swallowing hard as his eyes met hers, “Dr. Valentine...” Candice didn’t know what to expect as the mysterious Dr. Ethan Ramsey was like a closed book, still now she never knew what he was thinking but she had a feeling he was keeping something from her. Reaching out, she held his hand, her blue eyes glistened with compassion, “Ethan... what’s going on?” His dark brow raised, the feeling of her hand in his killed him; how Ethan longed to just take her into his arms and say ‘fuck it...’ but it wouldn’t matter.

Sighing heavily, he pulled his hand back, “It’s the budget... it was already decided before the Governor turned up...” Dr. Ramsey began to shake his head, “...There’s gonna be a lot of cuts and...” Candace began to roll her eyes condescendingly, “You called me here to tell me that?!” Ethan barely shrugged his shoulders, “I thought...” he watched as Candice folded her arms, as she clicked her tongue, “Well that will make my decision a little easier then... I am going to request a transfer... Mr. Connors will be my last patient working in your team...” his steel blue eyes cut through her, no emotion inside as he turned away to face the window again, his gaze taking in the Boston skyline in front of him. His voice never cracked, changed tone nothing as he spoke “Do what you want Dr. Valentine, it’s not like anything’s keeping you here... most of your patient’s labs were ready an hour ago...”

Candace wanted to speak, she moved her mouth but nothing would come out. He didn’t have to be so cold and distant. She was doing it for the better of everyone, not for herself - wasn’t that the Ramsey way? Shaking her head, Dr. Valentine turned on her heel, leaving Ethan alone with his thoughts, slamming the door behind her. The noise of the slamming door caused Ethan to wince, he knew he was wrong but hell if it meant that she could be happy, who was he to question her? All he could think about was his lips on hers, how he didn’t want her; he needed her. Never in his wildest dreams did he think the young, blonde senior resident would would get under his skin that much. Ethan could feel himself clenching his teeth, his hands angrily becoming fists. How could he let this get so far. He was Ethan Ramsey; he needed no one. An uncontrollable growl left his throat as he punched the wall, his nostrils flaring as he seethed, “Damnit Candace!” The skin across his knuckles split by the impact but the pain was only a fraction of the hurt he felt in his heart.

Ethan left lost. He left like that 13 year old boy again when his mother left. Sulking into his leather bound chair behind his desk, Ethan just stared up to the ceiling; a moment that felt like forever until the faint sound of his office phone broke the silence. Angrily he picked it up barking, “Yes?!” He listened as the young attending from Jefferson began to apologise as the full medical history for Thomas Connors wasn’t delivered. Ethan’s steel blue eyes began to narrow in question, “What was omitted?” as the attending stuttered, Ethan’s patience grew shorter, “I’ll not ask again... What the hell was omitted?!” The attending at Jefferson began to apologise, it wasn’t noted that the patient had violent psychological problems as well. Ethan’s eyes widened as he threw down the phone, leaving the attending on the line, as he began to run down the hall “Candace!”

[sourcherrymagiks]

Carry on Countdown 2019

Day 18 - Crack!

Lamplight

Ao3

Simon

He’s trying to avoid talking to me. That’s how it happens. There was kissing. Amazing kissing. Merlin and Morgana, he’s beautiful and when he kisses me back.....

But anyway. He’s also a stuck up twat who can avoid the shit out of anything. We were back in the room after the kissing (Great Snakes,that kiss though) and he was taking forever to hang his blazer up so he didn’t have to look at me or talk to me. What was I going to do but come up behind him and kiss his neck? I ask you, what else could I have done?

Which is how we came to stumble and fall into the wardrobe. And then straight out of the back. Into a drift of snow.

“Erm Baz, this is going to sound pretty stupid but I think we just fell into...”

“Narnia”

“Yes”

Baz

I know that this is somehow his fault. Why does he always have to involve me in his ridiculous heroics. Although, to be fair, this is well outside of his usual remit.

“Snow, might I suggest we go back? From memory Narnia has its own set of chosen ones. Lots of them. They can probably get by without you”

“I’m not sure that’s how this works, the path has gone”

I look around and he’s totally right. It’s just us, in the snow, under a lamppost.

I can’t keep the petulant tone out of my voice as I say “But you are our chosen one, you belong to the world of Mages”

He laughs and kisses me. “Didn’t know you cared you big softy” I briefly toy with the idea of snapping at him but instead I pull him back into another kiss.

When I pull away to catch my breath and try to get a hold over my treacherous body, Simon gets up. I grumble a bit under my breath but then I decide to co operate a bit. Grudgingly. It seems very unfair that we are here and not snogging in our room. Even though I was the one avoiding the snogging (Why?, I’m such an idiot)

Snow’s sketching in the snow with a stick. It looks like nonsense until I’m standing right next to him. Then it hits me at once, he’s drawn a map of Narnia. From memory.

I must be staring at him because he starts laughing.

“I know you think I’m a thick urchin who’s only ever read cereal packets but I’ve loved Narnia my whole life”

“Me too, that part is not quite right” I alter the shape of the western forest slightly so it ends further from the frozen lake. “I would definitely remember if you were the hero in it. I suppose you do have a bit of Peter about you”

“Fuck off Caspian” he throws a snowball at me. I throw one back. Then I kiss him again because this is all unbelievable.

He’s sketching plot points out now, trying to work out the timeline.

“Right you gorgeous villain, we need to get to the camp here in time for the battle. There’s enough footprints and sled tracks here to show they’ve all been through fairly recently. I don’t think we can help at any point up until the end, do you agree?”

“I do, excuse me while I try to absorb the shock of you being a reader.” He lightly punches me on the arm, he’s blushing. “Is your magic working?”

We both laugh

“As well as it ever does, yours?”

I take out my wand and cast ‘lights out’ at the lamp post. It blinks off.

“Cool. Let’s get moving. Keep your wand out. I don’t want to draw my sword until I need it and I, Erm, can I hold your hand please”

“Come here” I grab his hand and before I can stop myself I’ve kissed his knuckles.

“I like this, you,like this” he bumps my shoulder with his.

Simon

I’m really excited. I dunno if it’s the Baz thing or the Narnia thing but I’m so amped up I’m practically skipping.

“So, Caspian then?” Baz asks with his eyebrow up.

“It’s possible that I might have been not entirely straight for a while”

“You think?”

“There’s no need for that tone you wanker”

Then I’ve got him up against a tree. This want is everything. I need to touch him, kiss him, press myself against him.

He doesn’t just let me, he right there with me, pulling my hair, licking my neck, moaning into my mouth.

He pulls away gasping “Right Snow, let’s get back to the mission and stop debauching the pristine Narnian forests”

“But I like it, I like you” I’m whining a bit.

“You aren’t completely intolerable either Snow”

We seem to have been walking forever. I slept about ten minutes last night. I would kill for some Turkish delight.

“In the books it doesn’t seem this far”

I moan to Baz

“Heaven forbid that the made up world is larger than the children’s book made it appear”

“I get your point, even though you’re a twat, but its hardly made up is it?”

He shrugs. I’m rubbing off on him. That makes me smile. I nearly don’t hear the crack of the twig, I’ve disarmed the guard before I’ve had chance to worry about my sword or magic. They aren’t the best written soldiers.

“Take us to either Peter or Aslan please” I ask the battered looking Narnian as politely as I can be arsed to. I’m not great at manners when I’m hungry and tired.

Baz

Peter is beautiful, not a patch on Snow obviously, but still. The two of them together are blinding. Simon offers our assistance and Peter accepts a little unwillingly. I’m not sure he would at all if not for the wonderful Lucy. She never sees herself as the protagonist so she doesn’t have the same struggle as Peter. To be fair I wouldn’t want to share my story with Simon bloody Snow if I already had three siblings and a lion muscling in on the action. Poor fuck.

The two of them spend the afternoon practicing, Snow is better trained and in great shape but Peter is faster and lighter in his feet. It’s glorious.

When Simon fights Edmund it’s a different thing. No longer a master class in heroic swordplay fought by two golden leaders. Now it’s like a cunning bar fight. Simon has to stop himself from head butting Edmond. When he throws an elbow at Edmond’s face,then stops before it connects, Edmond is not so polite and punches Simon in his exposed ribs. It’s very feral.

When they’re done he comes over and presses his sweaty lips to mine. I don’t know how I avoid making a scene.

Obviously it’s still a bit of a scene. Uncomfortable coughs and averted eyes abound. Then simultaneously everyone decides to ignore it and peace is restored.

I leave to speak with Lucy. She’s got magic and I want to see if I can help her use it. It doesn’t work like ours though. She can’t harness it. I advise her to go to Watford as soon as she can when she returns home. She probably won’t.

She gives Simon a small banner embroidered with a dragon holding a blazing sun. He tucks it into his pocket because the courageous fuck won’t wear armour. He kisses her head. I’m completely flabbergasted when she gives me one emblazoned with a flaming moon. I must be allergic to it because my eyes are watering.

After dinner we talk tactics. Simon keeps quiet about upcoming plot points and focuses on the battle. Simon and Peter lean over the map, blond hair and copper curls tumbling together as the argue over every inch. From his plan I deduce that Snow’s aim is to kill the witch while keeping all the kids well out of the way. This goes down like a sack of shit with Peter. It’s his story and he is the king. Gorgeous (and capable) as Simon is he can’t lead this army. They aren’t loyal to him. Also he won’t play by their outdated battle rules, fight in a line and die, because he knows better. They finally agree on enough compromises to keep everyone happy and save lives. A lot of lives.

In spite of the protests I hold my ground. I will stay by his side regardless of what he thinks he’s going to order me to do.

It’s fun. Really. I mean there is an impending battle but, Crowley, I’ve read that battle so many times. It’s going to be brilliant. I catch Simon’s eye and I know he feels it too.

Simon

I can’t fucking sleep. This is going to be epic. I’m traipsing around the camp looking for anything to take my mind off the combination of wanting to get into this battle and wanting to do unspeakable things to Baz.

It’s not the time though, right?

We still haven’t talked. It’s possible we’ve managed to bring a fictional world to life to avoid talking. But I’m going to tell him after the battle. Hopefully it will be dead romantic.

Baz

The battle starts off early and badly, not quite as badly as I remember because Simon is genius at this and Peter listened to about a quarter of his suggestions. Plus there are two of them.

The absolute confidence of them helps keep up the morale that’s been damaged by Aslan fucking off.

Simon hadn’t mentioned that he was the bearer of a flaming sword or that he had a particularly impressive brand of violent, pulsing magic so when he calls his sword, the fear it causes slams the first wave right back.

I cast quickly and use so much magic that I’m nearly spent in moments but I have taken down most of the ogres and a couple of hags. Peter, Edmond and Simon smash through line after line of the White Witch’s army. Simon is actually grinning, the prat.

I wait for Simon’s signal to disarm the White Witch. Then he’s on her in a moment with Edmond and Peter. She never stands a chance.

By the time Aslan arrives back with the girls there’s only cleaning up and healing to do. He growls at Simon and Simon shrugs at him. He turns his back clearly as pissed off as a magical lion gets.

“This was not your battle Mage”

“Explain how it just was then wise one?”

Simon is brillant at one liners, when he’s not fighting me. I guess it’s in the job description. Aslan grunts and continues back to his tent. What a prick. I guess he’s not willing to let the homoerotic subtext turn into the story.

It’s very clear we’ve outstayed our welcome.

Simon

That was mega. But now it’s time to go. I don’t want to fuck with these guys and I also don’t want Aslan to eat me.

It’s a pretty shitty deal those kids have got anyway. Kings and queens in one land but not able to stay. We hug them goodbye. At least I live where I live. Except for right now obviously.

I grab Baz and we set off back to the lamppost.

“That was amazing, you were amazing” I say to him

He looks at me like he thinks I might he taking the piss.

“You did an ok job yourself Snow. You’re not as pretty as Peter though”

I’m glad he catches me when I jump on him. “Take that back Pitch”

“It’s an objective fact Snow, he is more dashing, I just prefer you”

“You do?”

“Yes you attention seeking numpty, I have appalling taste so I prefer you to most people”

“Good. Because, well, I’m, I think I might be, falling, you know, for you” Merlin. I doubt he’s even going to understand that.

Then he kisses me and I know he does.

Baz

I’ve been kissing Snow for hours. We don’t know how time works here relative to Watford so we should get back. But it’s complicated there and easy here under a lamppost in a forest full of spring.

It’s also not our story.

Simon still has his own story to finish.

“Ready Sweetheart?”

“Not really love”

“Shall we do it anyway?”

“After you”

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

Chapter Six of Can’t Find My Way Home is up! More of the Travel AU with Simon and Baz. Read it here on AO3.

Chapter Six

Baz  

I wake up with my head resting on Simon’s chest, his arms around me. I don’t think either of us have moved from our positions last night.

He’s sleeping. I can tell by the pattern of his breathing. I’ve spent enough restless nights listening to it.

Simon Snow kissed me.

It’s hours later but the elation of that realization hasn’t left me. I’m smiling at the very thought of it.

I want to kiss him again.

Simon  

I wake up to the light touch of Baz’s fingertips tracing patterns on my chest. I don’t move or open my eyes. I don’t want him to stop.

But he does.

He stays in my arms but the motion of his fingers ceases. He must have figured out I’m awake. Damn.

I rub small circles onto his back and open my eyes. “Good morning.” I press a light kiss to the top of his head.

He shifts, then lifts his head up to look at me. It’s light enough in the room that I can see the iridescent blues and greens of his eyes. It’s mesmerizing. I can’t help but grin at him.

This is so much better than fighting.

Baz moves so his head is propped on one arm. He’s not said anything yet. I miss the weight of him on my chest already.

We stare at each other for a moment. It could be ten seconds. It could be ten minutes. I have no concept of time right now.

His lips quirk into a smile as his gaze shifts down. He’s impossibly close and then he’s even closer. His mouth makes contact with mine and the slow, smooth slide of his lips drives all thought from me.

The smile’s still there when Baz pulls back to whisper. “Good morning, Simon.”

He’s leaning over me so I reach up to find his lips again.

Baz  

The reality of kissing Simon is far better than anything my imagination could conjure.

He’s got both hands in my hair and I could dissolve from that sensation alone, but he’s got this way of moving his lips and doing this thing with his jaw that makes me quiver.

I’ve kissed a few blokes over the years. Nothing compares to this. It’s like someone lit a fire in my chest and fanned the flames.

We don’t stop kissing until the alarm on my mobile startles us apart.

I reach for it, to shut it off, but then remember the reality of today.

I need to check our flight status, see if we have any chance of leaving. The outside world breaks into the bubble of Simon and me and for the first time since my flight got cancelled in New York, I find myself apprehensive to check my mobile.

I want to get home for Christmas.

I want to stay here, in this room, with Simon. I feel as if all of this will disappear once we leave Ebb’s inn. That it will have been an illusion, a fever dream, the overwrought delusions of my exhausted mind.

I bury my face in Simon’s neck and breathe in the scent of him. I want to memorize this moment, tuck it away for later, keep it safe from the incursions of the real world that lurk outside these walls.

Simon

This is how mornings should start. With the sensuous slide of lips and tongues, the gentle touch of fingertips cupping my face, and the sight of Baz Pitch smiling down at me.

Until an alarm blasts into the silence and we spring apart. Baz grabs his mobile and shuts it off.

He buries his face in my neck and it’s simultaneously the most endearing and agonizingly vulnerable thing I’ve ever seen him do. My arms wrap around him and my fingers stroke through his hair.

I’d do anything to make him happy and keep him safe. That’s the overriding thought going through my head as I hold him and murmur “it’s ok” as if the words are some sort of arcane spell to protect him.

I don’t know what I’m even protecting him from. The world outside, the expectations that are put on him, his own thoughts? All of it. I’ll do whatever it takes to see him as he was a few minutes ago.

Baz  

I melt into Simon’s arms. I can’t think right now. I just want to be here, in this moment.

He’s whispering words into my hair, his breath stirring the strands, the warmth of it searing into me.

I can’t stay here forever.

I want to.

Simon  

Baz pulls back, his eyes that stormy grey again. He leans down and brushes his lips to mine, a fleeting touch but still tender, and then he sits up to lean against the headboard.

I sit up too and scoot next to him. He’s focused on his mobile, so I watch his fingers tap the keyboard and flick through the bookmarked pages. I rest my head on his shoulder.

“The flight is still posted.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means we’ve got a chance of flying out today. Let me check the airport status.”

His fingers tap at the screen. “There are no alerts posted. I think that means it’s open.”

“The airport is?”

“Yes, Washington.” Baz taps a few more times. “In ideal conditions it should take us a little over two hours to get there. I’m sure it will take us longer than that.”

“When’s the flight?”

“Tonight.”

I lift my head to look at him. “You’ll get home by Christmas.”

Baz nods. “After a fashion. It’ll be afternoon by the time we get there.”

“It’ll still be Christmas, no matter how late.”

He tilts his head back, closes his eyes and sighs. I’m not sure if it’s from relief or something else.

My hand finds his and I lace our fingers together. “What time do you want to leave?”

“I’d like to go as soon as possible. I don’t know how chaotic things will be today.”

“Alright then.”

My stomach chooses that moment to growl audibly.

Baz laughs.

Christ, it’s a glorious sound.

Baz  

“I promise I won’t make you leave without breakfast.” I squeeze his hand and feel the warm, comforting pressure back.

I suppose I should get out of bed. We need to get on the road. I’ve no idea what to expect with the snow and the ice.

I start making a list in my head:

Must check the status of the roads.

Print out our tickets. Just in case. I wonder if Ebb will let me use her printer. Does she have a printer? She must have one.

I should put petrol in the Rover.

Give Father an update.

Return the rental.

Spend this day with Simon.

It hits me then. Once we get to London, that’s it. He’ll go to his flat and I’ll go to Hampshire. And in a week, I’ll be back in New York.

I don’t even have his number.

Well, that’s one issue I can solve right now.

“Here.” I hand Simon my mobile.

“What?”

“Put your number in.”

He looks puzzled. “I’ll be with you all day.”

“I know that. I want your number. For after.”

His smile lights up the room. Looking at Simon Snow is like gazing directly into the sun. It’s searing brightness, comforting heat, and if you look too long you’ll find yourself consumed.

He hands my mobile back and then reaches to the nightstand for his own. “Call me. I’ll save you in my contacts.”

I find his name and the smiling emoji he put next to it in my contacts then press the call button. Seeing Simon Snow on my screen reassures me a little. It’s tangible evidence this happened. It’s proof that we’re … I don’t know quite what we are.

But whatever this is, I’ll take it.

Simon  

It doesn’t take us long to pack our bags and get down to the kitchen. Ebb’s already there, at the stove. It’s early but the dining room is bustling. Seems Baz isn’t the only one who wants to get on the road.

I want to get back home too.

I’m going to do my best to savor this day. I don’t know what will happen when we get back to London. I’m not going to think about that. I’m just going to focus on today.

And the fact that I’ve got Baz’s number in my mobile.

“Nicky thinks the roads are still a bit of a mess,” Ebb says, interrupting my daydreaming. “But Baltimore is opening at noon, and he said Washington is up and running.” She looks over her shoulder at us. “Means you boys will be on your way.”

“I should ask him about our route.” Baz rests his hand on my shoulder for a moment and squeezes. “I’ll be right back.”

I stay in the kitchen with Ebb.

“Don’t you want some breakfast, Simon?” She’s pouring the scrambled egg mixture into a pan.

“Yeah, I’ll not pass it up. But I think I’ll wait for Baz.”

She gives me a long, searching look and then her lips quirk up.

“Sit yourself down. I’ll feed you here. It’s a bit of a madhouse in the dining room at the moment.”

“I can help, if you need.”

“You’re a guest. Sit down and have a cup of tea. I’ll be alright.”

I sit at Ebb’s kitchen table, a mug of tea warming my hands. Even with all the frenetic activity in the room next door and Ebb banging pots and pans and dishes in here, it’s still got an air of tranquility about it. I can’t describe it. It feels good.

It doesn’t take long for Baz to come back.

He slides into the chair next to me, our knees bumping under the small table. “Sounds like the snow is cleared but the roads are still icy. I think we should head out soon.”

“Fine with me.” I purposefully bump his knee again. He bumps it back and then leaves his leg pressed against mine. There’s a small smile on his face and his gaze is so tender it makes my breath catch.

“Here you go.” Ebb slides a plate down in front of me and then does the same for Baz. “Eat up. There’s plenty more. Who knows what they’ll feed you boys on that plane.”

Baz quirks an eyebrow and Ebb catches his look. “It’s quieter in here. Thought you two could do without the chatter.” She tips her head towards the dining room. I can hear the buzz of conversation through the doorway.

The food is splendid and Ebb is generous with the portions. I eagerly grab heaping second helpings of everything as Baz shakes his head.

“The way you eat, Simon.”

“Got a good metabolism.” It comes out a bit garbled with the food in my mouth.

Which makes him laugh.

He’d sneer at me back at school, for taking second helpings, for talking with my mouth full, for just about anything.

It’s jarring still, expecting one reaction and getting something so utterly at odds with my memories.

I like it.

Baz

Simon is eating as if airport restaurants don’t exist and airlines don’t serve meals.

I watch him.

It’s liberating, to be able to do this, without having to shade my observation of him with critical comments or sneering looks. The lengths I’d gone to at school–to keep Dev, Niall, and the others from realizing how I felt about him–haunt me now.

The effort I put into preventing Simon from discovering I was in love with him.

I can’t come out and say it, even now.

Christ, I can’t even imagine it.

Hello, Simon. Yes, I’ve been an absolute bloody arsehole to you for years but really, it’s because I’ve been so desperately in love with you.

Right. Nothing creepy or unnerving about that confession.

A part of me wants to apologize, to recant all the snide commentary and puerile insults I sent his way.

A part of me never wants to think about those times again.

A part of me wants to tell him just how much he means to me.

Right. None of that’s appropriate at the moment.

I’ve got to get us home. I can sort this tangle of emotions out later.

Simon  

Our satchels are by the door and the dining room is blissfully empty again. Baz is settling up the bill with Ebb and I’m just standing around in the foyer, waiting for him to finish. I felt awkward, watching him pay her, but he cut me off when I asked about my share.

“Simon. Please, let it be.”

So, I did.

His cool fingers find mine moments later. “Ready to go?”

“I’ll say a quick goodbye to Ebb.”

Baz nods. “I’ll get our things in the car then. Come out when you’re done.” He grabs one bag in each hand and heads out the front door.

Ebb’s back in the kitchen already, tackling the mound of washing up from earlier.

“Hey, Ebb.”

She turns from the sink and wipes her hands on a dishtowel.

“Heading out then?”

“Baz wants to get on the road.”

“Well, I wish you safe travels. Sorry your plans got derailed but it’s been nice having the both of you here.” She beams at me.

“Thanks for the hospitality. And the food.” I pause, trying to find the right words. “And the advice.”

Her smile widens. “Ah. You’d have figured it out yourself eventually.” She opens her arms and I walk into her warm embrace.

“Thanks, Ebb.”

She shifts back but leaves her hands on both my shoulders, her bright blue eyes smiling up at me from under her bangs. “Things are good? From the looks of you two just now I’d say you’ve sorted some things.” She winks.

I can’t help but grin back at her. “Things are great.”

Baz  

Sgt. Petty was right. The roads are still shit. The snow’s been cleared for the most part but what’s left has a layer of ice right over it, so it’s still slow going on the roadways.

It will take us more than two hours to get to the airport.

We’ll still be there in plenty of time. It’s an evening flight, but I’ve got no idea how mobbed security will be or how long it will take to return the car. I’ve never hired one before this adventure.

Simon is humming along to the radio. I let him choose the station. This song is abysmal but I like listening to him.

I dart a glance in his direction every so often and each time I’m met the sight of him smiling back at me.

I could get used to this.

Simon  

Baz is much less tense this time. Driving in that storm was brutal. The roads are still not ideal but it’s certainly not as treacherous.

I’m turned in my seat, my shoulder against the door. I can look at him more easily this way.

I like to look at him.

Penny is going to be a nightmare. She’s going to go on and on about how obsessed I was with Baz at school, how she knew there was more to it than me thinking he was an absolute tit.

I can just imagine the rant I’m going to have to endure about this.

Whatever this is.

What does it mean when you spend an entire evening curled up together, sleep through the night holding hands, and wake up to morning kisses?

I know what I’d like it to mean

I’d like it to mean we’re going to do that again.

I want to ask Baz but I also don’t know what he’s going to say.

He asked for my number.

He’s going back to New York in a week.

I realize I haven’t asked him much about what he’s been doing since I saw him last. Why he’s in America. What’s gone on with him since Watford.

Why he’s so different. Why he spent the morning trailing kisses along my jaw, my neck, sliding his lips over mine time and time again.

“Can I ask you something?” The words are out of my mouth before I quite think this through.

I flush. I certainly can’t ask him that last question.

Baz looks startled for a moment and his shoulders draw up, but then he schools his features. I’ve seen him do that countless times. “Yes?”

“It’s … I was wondering. I’ve not seen you since we graduated and I was thinking I’d like to know what you’ve been doing since then.”

His shoulders drop and his features relax. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

He tells me about Oxford. About rooming with Dev. About the move to New York six months ago and how much he hates it.

How he’s holding out hope that they’ll let him transfer to the new London branch in the spring.

“What will you do if they don’t?”

He doesn’t answer right away. His fingers clench and unclench on the steering wheel. “I suppose I’ll leave then.”

“You’d walk away?”

“It’s a good job but it’s not like there aren’t other ones. Yes, it’s a prestigious firm. Yes, it would be great to be part of the key initial staff at the London office.” He sighs and his eyebrows draw together. “But that might not happen. I need to be prepared for that.”

“Would you stay in New York?” There are many reasons why his answer matters. I can’t even let myself think about that. My heart starts racing before he even responds.

Baz shakes his head. “No. I’d go back to London. I don’t particularly like New York.” He turns in my direction. “How’s Bunce like Chicago?”

“She likes it well enough. Micah’s got a huge family, like she does, so I suppose it’s been a comfort having that. But I think once grad school is done they’ll both move back to London.”

Baz’s gaze slides in my direction again. “And what about you?”

[otherpeoplesheartachept-2]

On A Trip

(Carry On CountDown Day 20)

(SnowBaz) (Normals AU)

Length: 1103

Genre: I honestly could not tell you 

Trigger Warnings: None

-

Baz has to ruin everything. I was so looking forward to this field trip but now I’m counting the agonizing seconds until it’s over. We’re on a hike to collect samples of plants... or something. I honestly don’t understand what we’re doing. I asked Penny, but she went into a lecture about how the trip was a waste of time and plant life. I didn’t really care why we were going, I just enjoy being outside instead of being stuck in a stuffy classroom.

That was until I found out we had partners and Baz was mine. He’s such a prick all the time and I don’t know why. Ok sure, when we were like eight, I called him Vampy. But I was a kid!!! And to be fair he looked like a vampire! He has dark long hair, widows peaks, his teeth are even extra sharp, I swear, and one day he spilled cranberry juice so it looked like blood all over him. The only thing he was missing was the pale skin. He’s Egyptian actually, his skin’s a glorious dark red/gold.

Anyways, we’re in high school now and he still hates me.

Right now he’s staring at some leaves, ignoring me. He’s tied his hair up in a bun, I’d call it ridiculous but honestly he can pull it off. Prick. I would ask for help but Baz’ll scoff and tell me I’m an idiot. He’s always good at everything, unlike me.

I look around hoping Penny will save me some how. She’s busy actually working with Trixie (that’s surprising).

Baz stretches after putting a leaf in a bag. “Are you planning on standing there brain dead all day or are you capable of actually doing some work in this, partnership.” He says the last word like it’s poison on his lips.

“Yeah uh...” I scratch the back of my neck. He’s going to be so pissed. “I do- well see I don’t re-really… uh.”

“Spit it out Snow.” He acts as if it’s exhausting to be in my presence, “I haven’t got all day!”

“I don’t really know what exactly it is that we’re doing???” I stare at my shoes.

“I’m not surprised, yet somehow still disappointed, Snow.” Is all he says before turning his back on me, continuing to work.

Awkward is the nicest way I can think to describe the silence that follows. After what seems like a millennia, our professor spots me just standing around and tell me to get to work. Reluctantly I kneel by Baz.

“Hey,”

He doesn’t even try to hide his contempt. “What.”

“Do you think, maybe you could help me out? I wouldn’t even be asking but- well except I, I just got yelled at for not doing anything, so…”

“Fine, Snow. What do you remember about botany class and what lessons did you space out for?”

“Uh...”

“You actually don’t know anything do you?”

I blush. “No.”

He closes his eyes and inhales deeply. “Okay then. This-” he picks at a leaf “-is the invasive species-” blah blah blah, he went on forever about plants and science but who cares. When he finished, I tried processing all the information, I didn’t get most of it thought.

“Ok, sure, seems… simple.”

“You’re completely lost.” He states matter-of-factly.

“Well sorry we can’t all be Mr. A+ over here!” I throw my hands up.  

“No, S-Snow, calm down, it’s fine, I just want to make sure you understand before I try telling you more.”

“Fine, can you go back to the sunlight part?”

“Sure.”

I have no idea how long he spent basically catching me up on an entire semester of botany. Eventually, I got it. Then I started asking him about all the different plants on the forest floor. For some reason Baz has a vast knowledge of plant life, then again what doesn’t Baz have a vast knowledge of.

Gradually we trail further and further away from the rest of the class, neither of us noticed for a while though. I was too busy actually not hating spending time with Basilton Pitch. Who’d ‘ve thought, eh?

“What’s the scientific name for a daisy?” I ask as I see a patch of them.

“Bellis Perennis.”

“Bell-is Pear-en-is. Cool.” I smile at him. Casually I pick a few and stick one behind his ear. I think Baz blushes but he moves away too quickly.

“Well Snow,” He clears his throat, “I think we’ve got enough- Shit.”

“What?” I turn.

“We’ve lost everyone. Great, now I’m stuck in a bloody forest with Simon bloody Snow, just how I wanted to die.” He seems to be thinking out loud. I’m fully aware of the fact that he hates me and I didn’t think one day on truce would change that; but I’m still hurt by his words.

“Right, ‘cause I’m the absolute worst.” I let out before thinking. Baz’s furls his brows, his lips turn down.

Another silence passes until Baz speaks up. Quietly, unsurely he says, “That, that’s not what I meant I mean-” He’s adamantly starring at the leaf covered ground “-It’s not, shit I’m bad at this, uh sorry…? I- You’re not a bad person to spend time with.” His dark cheeks have undertones of pink now.

“Is that the great Basilton Pitch, apologizing, to me?”

“Shut up,” He bashfully smiles. It’s glorious. “Or I’ll take it back.”

“But you stuttered! Were you nervous?” I poke fun at him.

“Stop. I’m serious.” His blush intensifies.

“Sorry, apology accepted.” I stick out my hand. He stares confused for a second before shaking it.

“Okay, now let’s figure out how to get out of here.” I nod.

We trace our steps back on the fallen leaves. Sun filters through the trees. Basilton voice speaks to me about nature, his skin glows wonderful warm colors. At some point we start holding hands, I’m afraid that pointing it out will cause it to stop. I don’t want to stop holding Baz’s hand.

We make it back to the flock of kids with no damage (besides a 15 minute lecture about wondering off and getting lost and forest safety from our teacher). The trip is basically over after that.

On the bus ride back I sit with Baz. We don’t talk, but he offers me an earbud so we listen to some indie music, watch the sun through the window, and lean on each other. I don’t really know what this means but I know it’s different. A good different. So I don’t think about it. I just enjoy the sounds I hear and the warmth I feel.

-

(Can you tell I’ve never taken a botany class and bullshitted my way thought this??)

I’ve been “gone” for almost a week because the writing juices just weren’t flowing. But I’m back! Who knew some obscure indie music at a friends birthday party would get me to write about Snowbaz? Anyway, I’m gonna post the fics that I wrote (even though they’re all super late) So I hope you don’t mind reading my stuff days behind everyone else!

[buffystylez-blog]

The Puppet Show

Written by: Dean Batali and Ros Deshotel

Directed by: Ellen S. Pressman

Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Alyson Hannigan, Nicholas Brendon, Anthony Head, Charisma Carpenter, Armin Shimerman, and Kristine Sutherland.

Welcome to Episode 9, in which the show’s producers try to change our opinion of Dummies. IT DOESN’T WORK.

 There’s a demon terrorising students brave (stupid) enough to enter the Talent Show. Poor Giles (and then the rest of the Scooby Gang) are forced to contribute by the new principal, Principal Snyder. Snyder is a delight. He’s actually the worst but in the best way. You all know. You. All. Know.

 As mentioned above there’s a dummy and you think it’s evil because dummies but maybe it’s not that evil and more of a paedophile and whatever, which is a different, more unsettling kind of evil. Oh, and Buffy rescues people.

 Now let’s talk almost exclusively about Buffy’s outfits!

 Outfit 1

Buffy’s mocking Giles and this may be why this shot of her is… not ideal. But then again it’s not an ideal outfit. At the time I would’ve wanted the jacket. I remember finding a similar jacket in brown in the back of my mum’s wardrobe. I believe it was purchased before or around the time she met my dad. So maybe this cut of jacket was a 90s nod to the 70s. I... Don’t think it really works.

It’s sort of like writing a well-researched essay that completely misses the point of its subject. Incidentally, that’s the metaphor I use for Baz Luhrmann’s adaptation of The Great Gatsby.

There was a lot of velour and velour patterns on shirts in the 90s. It was almost like a velour uniform. I enjoy a velour uniform year round. Erry day. Erry damn day. Unless it’s on Xander.

In this episode Xander’s treatment of Cordelia rubbed off onto Giles. And I did. Not. Care. For it.

Yeah. You wear that cardigan, bitch.

Outfit 2

ANIMAL PRINT. I bought a dress very much like this a few years back from Glebe Market in Sydney. I believe I even wore it with a black leather jacket. But not the boots. Not the boots…

I do actually have a legit tale to tell you guys about Buffy’s by-now trademark boots. But it’s a story for another post, I think. It’s too sad. 

It’s not really. I’m just trying to build drama. Please keep reading my dumb blog!

I recently had to roll up the sleeves on my leather jacket because they’re a little long, just like Buffy did. Not because it was from a cute boy. Just because my arms are a bit short.

The jacket is back but I don’t even mind that much because it sits at my preferred length with the dress. Though… Is it a dress? She may be wearing nude stockings. I hope not.

I did this thing called Physical Culture as a kid. It’s a combination of dance and aerobics and... like, beauty pageants. I had to wear these stupid nude stockings with my leotard and after that ordeal I can’t see nude stockings without it taking me back to those days... The smell of the fake tan, the taste of the hairspray (it always ended up burning my eyes, throat and nose), the Kylie Minogue songs I had to dance to... Actually I love Kylie Minogue. So that last part is a fond memory.

Source: The A.V. Club

All hail the OG short skirt/long jacket wearer herself.

You wear that cardigan, bitch.

Outfit 3

Pyjamas are outfits. I should know, I wear them out to places. It was acceptable where I grew up. Actually, it wasn’t but I did it any way. Not because I’m cool. Because I’m lazy.

The pattern on her pyjama pants is glorious. It may be my favourite pattern paisley, beloved of Claudia Kishi in at least one Babysitters Club book. She was my original fashion crush. 

When I was younger pyjama designer Peter Alexander was THE NAME in adorable sleepwear. It was a luxury because there were no stores in Newcastle and because the prices were prohibitive. Even now I think of them as such a lavish treat and still have every pair I have ever bought. Even the ones that have holes in them. Or a big ole split right down the crotch.

 In summary my first Peter Alexander purchase was purple fleece pants with a paisley pattern. The end. In looking closer it may not be paisley. And now you know my love affair with paisley for probably no reason.

Lot of boring stories this post. Lot. Of. Boring. Stories. I promise I’m more interesting than this in person. Ok, I can’t promise that.

Outfit 4

The black pants are back. This is… fine. This outfit was classy as hell to me in 1997. I sure as fuck wasn’t wearing this to school. And part of the uniform was black pants.

My senior school uniform was a plaid skirt and when Clueless was released in Australia the senior girls started wearing knee high socks and Mary-Janes with their uniform and I thought they were so cool. I spent the intervening years building up the courage to wear knee high socks and cute shoes in public and last year I did, at the age of 33. I did it, guys! I feel so free!

This looks like good hair from the front.

But it’s not. It’s really not.

The Scooby Gang save Giles from literally losing his brain just in time for the show to start. But nothing will save them from having to perform a scene from Oedipus Rex. High School is the real demon here.

 I actually enjoy this episode. It’s funny, it’s got a backstage comedy element, and the dummy actually isn’t too bad. Well, except for the fact it keeps hitting on a 15 year old girl. Albeit one who could turn it into kindling any time it got too fresh. We’ve essentially had two paedophiles in this series already. I have... thoughts about this. But other than that, it’s good. I mean, it’s Principal Snyder’s first episode. So.

You wear that vest, bitch.

And that’s it! A short-ish one, I know. Blame the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. 

Speaking of, I have seen some delightful shows including the following:

 Cameron James – 88

Do Go On - Live

Blind Dating Show Spectacular

Laura Dunemann – Flannelette

 If you are in Melbourne some time before April 23, I highly recommend those shows and many, many more I possibly won’t get to see because I’m never prepared for these festivals and have to buy groceries sometime this week.

 Up next, the Scooby Gang face their fears. It includes a clown so I guess I’m facing my fears too.

  Until then, Slayerettes.

Screencaps from Screencapped.net