#ok . Will continue this tomorrow :3
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OCtober day 28 - néphy outfit
🥺 look at her. little murder baby
#art#the dark urge#baldur's gate 3#bg3 durge#bg3#inktober#oc-tober#digital art#DUrge - Nephéle - The Cloud#hopefully my hand will be ok tomorrow and ill be in an art mood and continue it :^)
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They should invent a way to call the boarders about my cats that wouldn't involve irritating a real live person who has a job to do that is not telling me my cats are ok.
#Ive only called once and only after Cardio should have been out of surgery#which i think shows immense self restraint on my part#Things have gone down hill quick irl and i just need my kitties to be ok#2 and 3 were supposed to go under anesthesia yesterday but someone fucked up and left food and water in their kennel over night#so their procedures have been moved to tomorrow.#which. im glad it was delayed given the chances of aspiration.#but given the general stress level rn i would have Loved it if this could have been dealt with already#the threat of them not handling anesthesia well continues to loom#the car thing set off a powder keg of issues with my dad my mom had been managing before she left him for being a powder keg of issues#so good news is he's getting help finally. bad news is its a whether he likes it or not situation.
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we got three four-hour stretches! the midnight feed was challenging as he peed all over himself mid-diaper change and was utterly inconsolable about it for five solid minutes after 😂 however we all survived this harrowing experience and slept soundly afterwards. he’s doing a great job now of soothing himself back to sleep after a feed which was such a struggle in the early weeks. hm okay my parents are back in town tonight so most of my goals today are house chores.
the day:
fold and put away clean laundry x 1
fold and put away clean laundry x 2
take dirty laundry downstairs
showerrr and do a hair mask
pick up mail
fill out forms to mail
wash bottles
meal plan
place grocery order
change sheets
5 min tidy kitchen
5 min tidy living room
make formula
make enchiladas
grocery pickup
visit liz
walk dogs (stroller or carrier walk)
finish reading this very long fic?? or put a significant dent in it anyway
#daily processing#he is five weeks tomorrow#my goal was to make it to six weeks of pumping and then reassess#it’s hard because he’s finally learning how to latch#but I’m just not producing enough to justify triple feeding (pumping + bottle + bf’ing)#so I think I’ll keep pumping 3-4x/day until six weeks next Monday#and then I’ll go down to one morning pump and will continue to let him latch as he shows interest#but I suspect my supply will dry up fast since it’s so low already#that’s ok! I feel kinda sad about it still but#I don’t think it matters that much in the grand scheme of things
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gonna lose my mind actually. i want the yeonjun figure from his album SOOOOO badly its so cute GUHHHHH. look how cute </3 GUH....
#num speaks#im too poor to afford the album#but I WANT IT.#yeonjun figure.... ough.... come to me#one day ill buy the album trust#just not anytime soon unfortunately </3#i want to continue collecting albums again... why poor.... why do things cost money....#i dont even have minisode 3: tomorrow GUH#anyway. GGUM FIGURE... COME TO ME#and then when i get that album im guaranteed to finally get a yeonjun pc.#hes the only member i dont have rn#i dont have a single yeonjun pc thats so sad.#ive got two of each i think?#im gonna check actually.#ok so two soobin#three beomgyu shockingly#two taehyun#and two kai <3#both of my kai pcs are him with blond hair HAHA#anyway why is yeonjun avoiding me </3 ive got his postcards and stuff but no photocards </3
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absolutely fascinating conclusion i am coming to, unsure how to feel about it
#can't confirm it but it does really come across like my sis and her gf are now actively avoiding talking to me#which..... ok????#like i... sort of understand but at the same time... literally why#also that shit kinda hurts 👌#and i love that we only play games when THEY want to anyway but thats been an ongoing issue#should i message them? probably. will i? probably not.#if they want space then fine#i can only think of one reason WHY they would want that and quite frankly? its a kinda dumb reason#and quite honestly i have MORE cause to not want to talk to my sister right now but#whatever <3#sorry im just ranting bc i asked if they wanted to play games like 3 days ago and they said 'maybe tomorrow'#and then i see them launching the game just now 🙃 but they haven't talked to me since then🙃🙃#sure dude thats fine thats chill#i will continue to blast my music and try and write smth#shh ac#seriously shut up
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Anyway how is everyone doing
#had to get up at 6 in the morning and therefore had 4 hours of sleep today (a weekly occurence pretty much)#so i just took a nap which took all evening and i'm still tired yayyyyy. because naps only work how they should about 10% of the time#and also i did nothing else today because sleep and now i'm truly wondering what to do with myself anymore#meanwhile i have to get up and go to school again tomorrow 😑 and the day after that 😑 and the day after that 😑#or i could drop out again and have nothing else to do anyway and continue rotting in my room#(whether it's my dorm room or my actual room doesn't matter). what's the pointtttttt#might be reaching some kind of limit or maybe i'm truly just dramatising and should just chill about it all#save me 4 hours of music listening now probably. idk man#got my minimal amount of social interaction today in the form of riding the elevator with 3 of the ppl from my course#when i could have (and normally would have) just taken the stairs instead#i feel like i made a big important step today that will help me later on through this year (no not really)#at least one thing i've noticed recently is that i might have the reverse of what is i guess is usually called seasonal depression#in the sense that now that it's chilly and cloudy and it gets dark earlier i feel like i'm finally LIVING in a way#the good effect of that will probably pass after a week or two though#but also just a bit over a month left now until my birthday and then my long awaited trip!!#anyone else get unreasonably excited for their birthday each year even though there's never anything special about it in the end#and that only makes the day more depressing lol#ok whatever i'm done whining now i think. music time then#celebrating (a bit late) one year of gratsax and lil beethoven today. some of the albums of all time for me personally#goosepost
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god I am acting bleak on main tonight
#🥞🧇#I do maintain that any thought you have after 8pm is not real#but also I have been having a rough go of it lately and no one to really talk to abt that <///3#except like . my therapist#I don’t rlly want to get into it but I’m unhappy with my life and to make matters worse I’m dealing with everything alone#I went from having a support system a matter of months ago to having nothing#due to distance or people not being as invested or some secret third thing I can’t figure out bc texting is stupid and no one calls anymore#belgh it’s just allllll been coming out when I get even a little bit tired#I’m rlly sick and tired of feeling like this and I need to figure out what has to change so I don’t fucking feel like this anymore#I’m working on applying for jobs (still. the search has been horrible) so hopefully once I get hired I’ll start making friends???#idk.#i don’t want to think abt any of that rn#going to just get off my phone read a little and then go to bed probably#and wake up tomorrow and continue on my escapism hobbies that allow me to not feel <3#ok yeah I’m done goodnight#del later probably
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what i learned about judgement today is that yagami's belt chain connects to his phone
#snap chats#i will now start to do the same <3#FR the vods almost uploaded so ill share that in a sec BUUT FIRST CHAP WAS REAL FUN#epic game...... ty for tellin me to play it over and over the months LOL#i'll continue t stream it tomorrow but for now i want food.. just wanted to share that funny bit lol..#lowkey i mightve known that already when i had to draw yagami this one time but ive only now really remembered/realized it#so lol#ok bye bye my tummy got the rumblies
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scheduled an appointment with my advisor AND signed up for an extra class to get support on my CS classes basically i WILL survive this next quarter even if it kills me!!!!!!!
#new years resolutions: 1. learn to juggle 2. take back control of my academics YIPPEE#and 3. work out more or whatever ig#ALSO 4. STOP SAYING IT COULD BE WORSE!!! literally have had the worst luck lately and it only continues bc i almost got in a car accident#because my car (that i love so much and just got back today) couldn't get enough traction and wouldnt go when I turned onto a busy road#and 5. read more books or whatever#ok. hockey is back tomorrow i will be SO normal once again#also i got a new nail polish so i am a lilac guy just like auston this is so epic#ALSO!!! i got roller blades AND ice skates for christmas!!! literally so excited i keep putting the roller blades on around the house#and i want to wear them outside SO BAD but its raining :( and dark :(((#hope yall have had a nice week <3#heckin rants
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man i really wanna get that mysterious cryptid energy back into robin's lore. like not only are ghosts bothering her constantly but bigfoot wont stop using her backyard as a shortcut and its freaking out her cat
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Waddles in here
Looks around
Explodes into exactly 1,037 pieces
#had a rough on today#legit felt like i was ghibli crying for a while in class#but then i finished putting my laundry away and my brain just completely reset#now i want my FRIENDS#but also i need to eep……..#gnight besties <3#tomorrow the tribulations continue (issue getting meds refilled) but tonight…. i ok#im exploding in a completely neutral way ftr. less of a BOOM and more of a [collapses into a pile of marbles]
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why did i think having a crush again would be fun
#i would never ask a man with long hair to cut it short but This Can Not Continue#i still dont even know if he likes girls. or genderfluid people with massive cans who dont bind or anything#do bi men text 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ATE (individual messages in immediate succession) to an ensemble gc#and then get embarassed bc they didnt realize the teacher was in it ohh my god i need to actually devour him right now or ill die#i feel like i could have been normal about this if i went on assuming he fucks and has a normal relationship with intimacy#like [redacted] probably did when she jokingly asked him if hes ever had sex#bc hes charismatic and funny and has great hair and could probably cut open a watermelon with his jaw#but ‘what if i just said no’ ohh i need to study you under a microscope now#🍞#tomorrow is 1 month since the shoot. lord lord lord#ITS ALSO HIS BIRTHDAY WHATTT#ok if i run into him wednesday and dont say hbd no hope for me even at all
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toji fushiguro is OFFICIALLY a real human being in my suguverse now 💯
#bless up for reader 🙏🏼 suguru is praying on that dilf’s downfall w every fiber of his being#IT’S ACTUALLY FUN SO FAR REWRITING A FEW THINGS!#i haven’t made a dent i only changed the first section a teensy bit but now i’m hungry so i’m gonna eat pasta and come back to this :3#i forgot that during the fic i LISTENED to ‘black is the color’ by celtic woman 😭 i forgot how sweet that song was 🥹#everyone say thank you ‘derry girls’ for not only being one of the best tv shows ever but for giving me this song#BUT YAY! toji is no longer an anime character but a real human being hehehehehe :> can’t wait for reader & toji to eventually meet#and the hilarity/jealousy that’ll ensue when suguru sees that mean hot sexy dilf 🤭#ok . Will continue this tomorrow :3#by ‘this’ i mean rewrites and OMG i’m getting inspo/being reminded of things to add in the prequel!!!!!! <333#personal
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i miss akechi goro so much. maybe even enough to finally finish that ladue chapter 3
#speculation nation#ladue shit#listen hes such an asshole and i NEEEEEEED to channel his voice for a bit again#if this urge persists to tomorrow i'll crack open the fic again. for a little reread.#this will satisfy only approximately 53 people (the total subscribers to that fic)#which ok that's actually a good few people when i think about them as actual people#but it's the least amount of subscriptions i have out of most of my multichapters#EVEN STILL. it's a matter of pride and self-satisfaction.#and god fucking damn i have 18k for chapter 3 already written. i literally just need to close the damn scene up#it's been over a YEAR NOWWWWWWWWWW like holy fucking shit. i need this OUT ALREADYYYYYYYYYYY#ladue chapter 3 i will free you into the abyss. i cannot promise more than chapter 3 but i can promise a chapter 3 at least.#i had a whole plan for the fic but idk if i'll ever be able to write it#considering it's taken like. ... years. between chapters.#it took me 2 years to post chapter 2 and it's been a year now since then. ugh.#see the thing is chapter 3 closes the initial arc of them starting to date. and then there's more stuff.#maybe i'll keep it open just in case the urge strikes me to continue it eventually.#and if it never does. i might make a 4th chapter that outlines the eventual plans i had for the fic. so that people know at least.#ive seen that a Few times for discontinued fics.#....but the thing is i dont want to mark any of my fics discontinued!!!! theyre all my darlings!!! i want to go back to them all eventually#i'll just have to see. if a chapter 4 ends up taking several more years. well. maybe it'll be time to call it there. who fucking knows lol#i'll try to get chapter 3 finished sometime soon though. i really want to have it out already.
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hi everyone remind me to never look at deviantart again
#haunted ecosystem#probably jsut take this post at face value tags are if youre really curious 👍#i was trying to find something. immediately got blasted with a person who i did not want confirmation was out of prison is out#if im weird the next few days this has been an un-fun experience 👍i just wanted to look for some furry bases ok not. dread.#i just wanted to work on beest & saturn </3#actually feel nauseous ah this is going to be fun im going to go. draw things. do something. i need to get rid of this dread#why did he fucking follow my new account there? why? didnt he get enough? didnt he fucking get enough god i.#sorry chat im feeling things and if i remember this later i'll probably delete these tags but i need to just put this somewhere#im not a kid anymore i can handle this i shouldnt be this scared but fuck i am. maybe it wasnt just paranoia! joy joy joy oh joy!#tomorrow will be better tomorrow i'll forget about this and i'll move on like i never saw it and i'll continue being happy#i have people that love and care about me and that i talk to every day i have people that i trust and know i can rely on#i don't have to be scared anymore i don't need to worry i'll be fine and that has to be true because things are better now
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tv show tag game
rules: list eight shows for your followers to get to know you better
thanks to @majorbaby for tagging!! I love doing these even if it takes me days and days to actually get around to them
1. Doctor who (2005- present)
2. M*A*S*H
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. Firefly
5. Good Omens
6. Fleabag
7. Derry Girls
8. DuckTales
as usual I’m not gonna tag anyone but consider this a free tag— if you wanna do it tag me cuz I’d love to see em :)
#I basically chose shows that I consider mostly my favourite or that I reliably rewatch and that bring me joy.#is David tennant in half of these? no. because I took out takin over the asylum but he is in 3/8. we are not surprised#I am actually currently watching a couple other shows that I didn’t add to the list but I’ll throw em in the tags as honourable mentions:#I’m behind on Barry season 4 but I love Barry sm and if you haven’t seen it definitely watch it. Bill Hader is the showrunner and lead actor#he’s fantastic in it he’s so wonderful and Henry Winkler is in it also#started watching The West Wing about a month(?) ago now although I’ve taken a two week break since I’ve been on vacation#I’m looking forward to continuing both those shows when I get home later today and tomorrow when I’ll just be sleeping#that’s why it took me so long to get around to this tag game btw— haven’t had enough time alone with my phone to come up with 8 tv shows 😫#also! special shout out to Superstore and Parks and Rec my favourite nbc sitcoms :) I thoroughly enjoy that format in general#ok now I keep thinking of other shows that should be on this list so I’m gonna stop writing tags…
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