#ohmygod this turned out so sad wtf why am I like this

[pinyeti]

EPISODE 6: RETURN OF THE JEDI

Is it just me or have they just not explained the Death Star properly?

I cant take Darthy seriously anymore, he’s just a bag of organs 

Whats quirrel doing here

OMG ELEPHANT SNAKE IS BACK

Isnt this that old caterpillar from Alice n wonfderlad

WOW LUKE REALLY SUITED UP FOR HIS MESSAGE- DID HE JUST SELL???? GOLDENFACE AN R2-oh right Hans in the carbon - way to go to the dark side Luke, triangular droid trade YOU ARE YOUR FATHERS SON LUKE 

So much of Star Wars is just running into the problem with a glowstick and hoping it dies

Wow hansolo has been imprisoned, thrown into garbage, tortured, thrown into carbon, imprisoned AGAIN all cuz he has can’t shut my mouth disease

What even is their relationship with Luke btw, are they his adopted fWOAH WOAH WOAH WHEN DID LUKE TURN INTO A MAN??? Last I saw he was a child who couldn’t get a plane out of a lake AND THEY LEFT THE LAST MOVIE WITH ALL OF THTEM BEING TOGETHER wow the text in the beginning is more important than I thought 

No seriously why is Luke dressed like a pastor whats going on

WOAH GOLD BIKINI LIEA - OKAY STORY TIME I USED TO WATCH PRINCESS RAP BATTLES AS A CHILD AND THE ONE I SAW WITH LEIA IN IT SHE SAID “I wore a gold bikini and the whole world lost its shit” ANF NOW I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Ok yoda we get it you’re 900 no ones talking about your wrinkles anyway with pastor Luke in the room, projecting much?

Is yoda suidicdal???

WDYM LUKE IS REaDY???? HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO BE READY EXCEPT FLY FACEFIRST INTO A MILITARY BASE HIS TRAINING ARC IS SO SHIT

 Whos the other Skywalker?? lukes not even a Skywalker isnt his name Luke vader where’s skywalkers real son OH darthy’s deadname is skywalker

BABY WONKENOBIII IS BACKCKCKC-OMGWHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WDYM LEIAS LUKES SISTER WDYM HE SUSPECTED THIS AFTER MAKING OUT WITH HER FIFTY BILLION TIMES??? WHAT THE HELL

??? HELLO>>??? WHAT TH EHELL??? WHAT IN THE GAME OF THRONES IS GOING ON??????? How is Leia a princess then?? HahahahaHAHAHA SO YODA KNEW …… ABOUT THEIR LITTLE TRIANGLE

Nice the gang is back together, waiting for chewbakka to be revealed as darthy’s next offspring

YES YES GOLDENFACE GETTING THE RESPECT HE DESEREVEVVES I LOVE GOLDENFACEEE

I cant believe these are the idiots the emperors trying to kill

"yes I could sense you were my brother when my tongue was down your throat"

Oh yes Luke hands himself over- haha darthy sensitive over dead name 

Luke youre so stupid- but since jedis cant die is he gonna go to wherever yoda and obi wan is 

Lando is growing on me, also squid guy

This movie is gonna end with emperor and Luke dead isnt it

Is the emperor a jedi too how else does he have power or something something Sith

Id make a horrible jedi- im made of hatred

Hansolo my pathetic little idiot

I JUST REALIZED WHO LUKE EP6 REMINDS ME OF - TROY BOLTON

IS HE BEGGING DARTHY TO KILL HIM WTF

You’re telling me this big of an empire cant take down 6 idiots lead by a happy go lucky guy, never heard of this before

OHMYGOSSDDHD. LYKE YOU IDIOT NOW HE KNOWS ABOUT LEIA

Hahahah a hand for a HAND- wait what…. Why does he have a robo hand too whats going on 

Luke stop acting like you didnt hear about jedis 5 secs ago

Aw does darthy have a heart among his organs

OHMYGOD DARTHY IS A GOOD GUY????? ????? What A VILLAIN TTURNS GOOD ITS BEEN AGES SINCE I SAW A VILLAIN COME OVER TO THE GOOD SIDE

OMG DARHTY FACE REVEAL

Oh damn hes not as ugly as I thought he’d be

Kinda cute even - bro how did he even get this weak why’s he dying rn 

He has such kind eyes

Yeah ok I am so lost I NEED DARTH VADER BACKSTORY RIGH FUCKIN NOW

Is the empire this easy to penetrate? No but they did it with the power of lOVE and FRIENDSHIP 

Love lando 

YES HAN THATS THE REACTION I HAD AN HOUR AGO ACTUALLY WTF

Yes Luke its so sad your daddy that blew up an entire planet in ONE second without a single thought died IM NOT FORGIVING HIM THIS EASY

No way thats it??? They took down the empire just like that???? What??

Damn no one in this world can dance

OHMYGOD ANAKIN???? HOW CAN HE SEE THEM NOW??? IS IT CUZ HES BETTER AT WEILDING THE FORCE

ok fine anakin is cute

(3/9)

[aubrey-plaza]

idk if youre still doing this but: staubrey greek gods au

hell yeah I’m still doing these!

Stacie is Aphrodite (of course she is) and Aubrey is Artemis

Aubrey is the daughter of Leto and Zeus, older twin sister to Apollo. She’s born on the floating island of Delos after her mother is banished by Zeus’ mad jealous wife Hera

Still, Zeus loves his twins something fierce and Aubrey quickly becomes his favourite, often sitting in his lap and demanding a long list of things (one of them being that he never force her into marriage)

She becomes a huntress goddess and lives in the mountains and woods. Pan has a mad crush on her so he gives her hounds for her hunting activities and when she goes to Cyclops, he makes her the most exquisite silver arrows to go with her bow

She’s hanging out in Olympus with some of the other Gods when they bring in Stacie

Stacie is the most beautiful woman any of them have ever laid their eyes on and all the guys spring up eagerly, begging to marry her before Zeus has even welcomed her

(of course he welcomes her to Olympus bc look at her)

When Zeus asks Stacie where she’s from there’s some story about how she floated to Cythera on water foam and was greeted by the Seasons

(and honestly, compared to Athena’s birth story, Aubrey isn’t even shocked that Stacie was formed by the sea and she’s starting to learn that her own (normal) birth is more the exception than the rule)

Stacie becomes the Goddess of Love and Aubrey doesn’t pay much attention to her for a while because she’s got things to do and Apollo to beat in archery

Aubrey quickly realises that Stacie isn’t as brain dead and beautiful as she’d first thought

Well, Stacie is beautiful and her only divine duty is to make love but she’s so much more than that. Women and men come from lands far away for her aid in easing their longing and she’s whip-smart because she knows that love isn’t just nice warm fluffy feelings, that it clouds your judgment and gnaws at you and just plain hurts

It’s why Stacie doesn’t do anything when Sappho starts writing her love letters and dedicating poems to her

Stacie has said over and over that she can indulge in infatuation but not love

Aubrey, in an effort to curb any feelings she might have for Stacie, decides to add more to her plate and tells her father that she wants to become the protectress of childbirth

(somewhere along the way Athena tricks her into staying a virgin goddess but Aubrey’s never really wanted a man anyway and their father already promised her that he would never force her to marry)

The problem with being the go-to gal for childbirth is that it brings her into constant contact with Stacie, because love comes in many forms, not just lustful or whorishness, but also between mother and child and Stacie has always been adamant about doing her job right and making sure everybody has love

“How’s the beautiful Goddess of Light doing today?” Stacie flirts one day and Aubrey rolls her eyes as she pretends to be unaffected

“You know that’s not what I am,” Aubrey answers

“Oh, I’m sorry, Aubrey,” Stacie says and the way she says her name shouldn’t make Aubrey feel as warm as she does. “How’s the beautiful Goddess of the Hunt and Archery, Protectress of Young Women and Childbirth and Bringer of Light doing today?”

“I’m doing fine. And you?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Stacie flirts and Aubrey needs to remind herself that this is how Stacie is and that she’s this way with everybody and that Aubrey isn’t special

Aubrey isn’t really sure why she’s the Protectress of Young Women (because Iphigenia is just one maiden and saving her does not necessarily mean becoming a patron to all women) but she starts receiving presents, specifically from young maidens

Stacie coos from over her shoulder when Aubrey unwraps a golden blanket and finds lingerie there with a note telling her that it’s the lingerie a virgin had worn on her wedding night and that it has been sent as a worship gift

“Is this why you’ve vowed never to marry a man?” Stacie whispers into her ear. “You’re holding out for a beautiful mortal maiden?”

In a moment of spark, emboldened by her worship gift, Aubrey turns her head, her lips brushing against Stacie’s cheek as she says, “She doesn’t have to be mortal or a maiden.”

Stacie looks impressed and impassioned by Aubrey’s words, and their flirtation picks up tenfold

Of course, nothing can ever go smoothly because the Venn diagram of ‘drama’ and ‘their lives’ is apparently a circle

Hera kicks Hephaestus out of Olympus, supposedly because he tried to strike Zeus but Demeter tells Aubrey that it’s because Hera is ashamed of Hephaestus’ deformities (#gossip)

Heph, in true spoiled sibling fashion, does not take it well. He fashions a throne out of gold and when Hera goes to see him (feeling guilty enough to visit him but not enough to let him back into Olympus), Heph shows her the throne and when she sits on it, it turns into a cage

Zeus is Mad™

(Aubrey rolls her eyes because, really, when is he not?)

But apparently he’s hella mad because he wants Hera back and he’s willing to do anything to get her back

Stacie, meanwhile, is the last remaining Olympian who isn’t married (besides Athena, Aubrey, and Hestia who have vowed a life of chastity) and Zeus decides to take advantage of that even though he has absolutely no right to

(for the first time Aubrey understands the hatred for her father)

Because Zeus is so desperate to get his wife back that he promises Stacie’s hand in marriage to whomever brings Hera back

Aubrey goes to Apollo and begs him to try to free Hera and when he asks her why she cares so much, Aubrey can’t get the words past her lips. Apollo loves his sister, though, so he tries. Aubrey will always wonder if he’d have tried harder had he known why, but that’s something she’ll never know. In any case, Apollo fails because he only has arrows of gold and they’re no match for Hephaestus caged throne because Heph is a master forger

Stacie burns with indignation at Zeus’ offer, and her rage leads her to Ares

Nobody fucking likes Ares but she needs his rage and she needs his strength and honestly she’d rather be married to Ares than some unknown second-rate demigod because at least she knows he’s great in bed

Before Ares can even get to Hephaestus and Hera, Dionysus gets involved. Dionysus is dumb as a bag of bricks because he’s always drunk and as a result, he misunderstands Zeus’ words

He gets Hephaestus drunk and Heph releases Hera himself. Technically, that means that Heph was the one to bring Hera back to Zeus and that means that he gets to marry Stacie

(honestly this is the worst thing ever and Stacie is angry af about it)

Nobody goes against Zeus’ wishes though so Stacie marries Hephaestus and she hates every minute of it

“Aubrey?”

“Yes?”

“Did you kill a hunter yesterday?” Stacie asks casually

“Yes.”

Stacie squints at her because even though Aubrey is strict and harsh with punishments for those who don’t meet her expectations, this is a new low. “Why?”

“He saw me bathing in the forest and didn’t have the respect to turn away.”

“So you killed him?”

“I turned him into a stag.”

“How did he die?”

“My hounds tore him to pieces.”

Stacie laughs sharply at that and it’s not what Aubrey’s expecting

“What?”

“You don’t find that a bit of an overreaction?” Stacie teases but Aubrey just scoffs

“He was a mortal man,” she answers with a dismissive wave of her hand

“So if it hadn’t been a mortal or a man, that person would not have met that same fate?” Stacie asks and Aubrey’s eyes snap to hers, the insinuation clear

“You’re married.”

“Eh,” Stacie says with a shrug. “Love has nothing to do with marriage.”

Nothing else happens but Aubrey can’t stop thinking about that word. Love. Because she’d known that Stacie had been infatuated with her, but she couldn’t have imagined that Stacie loves her because Stacie has always said that love is pain

(Aubrey should have known that being the Goddess of Love does not make one immune to its effects)

Aubrey sends Stacie flowers

Stacie sends Aubrey her lingerie

Aubrey sends Stacie gifts

Stacie sends Aubrey more of her lingerie

“Soon you’ll be left with no garments,” Aubrey flirts one day

“That’s the idea,” Stacie replies, trails her hand down Aubrey’s arm. “Then you’ll be forced to look at me in full nudity and hopefully you’ll do something about it then.”

Aubrey doesn’t wait until that day comes, instead appears at Stacie’s favourite love house and finds the Goddess lounging in a clam shell

“You’re such a cliché,” Aubrey says, announcing her arrival

Stacie grins and dismisses everybody from the room as she crawls out of the large shell. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“I can’t either,” Aubrey answers even as she unfastens her chlamys

“I’m glad you are,” Stacie says as she leads Aubrey towards an alcove with a bed. Aubrey removes the last of her garments before reaching for Stacie’s chiton, untying it easily and when her gaze falls on the woman’s body, Aubrey is reminded of the feeling she had when she’d first seen Stacie

“This hasn’t all been a trick, right? To tempt me out of maidenhood?” Aubrey asks when their lips are a breath apart

“Aubrey, there have been many other but I love only you.”

Aubrey kisses Stacie then and Stacie urges her down onto the bed and Aubrey has never felt so loved and Stacie has never felt so happy

Their love affair lasts for a very long time, all without Hephaestus’ knowledge

Love clouds their judgment and they forget that not even the Gods can Mind Their Own Business™

Helios gets involved when he sees them through a window, making love in Hephaestus’ bed and Helios is a snitch who tattles to Hephaestus for the drama of it all

Hephaestus, pissed off like nothing, is a master craftsman, so he forges a trap

Aubrey and Stacie are in bed, naked and closely pressed together and whispering sweet nothings to each other when a golden net falls over them and Aubrey’s heart stops and Stacie is instantly on edge

Hephaestus, angry that Helios had been right and that his wife is not only being unfaithful to him, but being unfaithful with Aubrey, calls over all the other Gods to bear witness

“I’m sorry,” Stacie whispers over and over into Aubrey’s ear as the woman tries to shield herself from the shame

Zeus is extremely disappointed in his daughter and her broken promise and he’s ready to let Hephaestus do whatever he wants to the two when Poseidon steps in. He’s always had a soft spot for Stacie, because she’s technically a child of the sea and the water nymphs love her and he can’t afford to anger the water nymphs

“I don’t care what happens to them,” Zeus says as he walks away and Aubrey cries into Stacie’s shoulder because that’s almost worse

Hephaestus is angry that he doesn’t get to take revenge on and punish his wife and her lover so Poseidon offers him back his seat in Olympus and tells him in no uncertain terms that this is a deal that he has to take and Heph is too afraid of Poseidon to go against him so he lets them go

“I’m sorry,” Stacie says once they’re dressed but Aubrey won’t look at her anymore. “Aubrey, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Aubrey says through her tears. “I’m sorry.”

“Please,” Stacie pleads, crying as Aubrey turns away from her.

“I love you,” Aubrey whispers

“I love you too,” Stacie says and Aubrey kisses her, slowly and deeply and Stacie’s not sure why but she cries even harder when Aubrey pulls away.

“I love you so much,” Aubrey repeats, like a promise

Stacie’s heart breaks into a million pieces when Aubrey disappears into the woods

Falling from grace in Zeus’ eyes is not an easy position to be in, and Stacie understands. She understands it because she has the protection of her beauty and her love, but Aubrey doesn’t. Apollo is not as great a hunter as Aubrey, but it’s close enough, and there is still a Goddess of Childbirth, and there are even some minor deities who can protect women and Athena is Zeus’ new favourite and Zeus makes it absolutely clear that a broken vow is unforgivable, but it’s forgivable enough for Stacie because he needs her. Stacie’s irreplaceable.

Aubrey’s irreplaceable too, but only to Stacie.

Aubrey’s chair on Mount Olympus remains empty until the end of time.

EDIT: I made this into a fic with a part 2!

read it here

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THOR

it was a dark and stormy night when padme, an old man, and a beautiful nerd named darcy a find bright light in the sky with thunder and s giant tornado in it. AND CHRIS HEMSWORTH HOLY SHIT

STORYTELLING WITH ODIN ABOUT A FIGHT WITH ICE CREAM TROLLS. frosty the snow man is angry about it

GLOWY CUBE

agard. sounds like ass guard. baby thor and loki are adorable. story telling ended up being fairytail for children. WINGED HELMET

LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI

ah yes. the hammer named MILJinoNOR made in the heart of a star. ohshit walls got frosty. AMBUSH

“i swear, i swear, i sWEAR!” SHUSH IT AND GET TO FIGHTING. YALL GOT FROSTY BOYS INVADING ASS GUARD- oh fuck eye beam giant is OP.

thor is bloodthirsty, thats how you get the plot of the movie when you get turned mortal :/

loki is lovely i love him. he will never ever ever do anything wrong- oh hes starting drama between thor and frosty boys

WHOMST THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE??

“and who proved wrong that a young maiden could be one of the fiercesr warriors.” “i did” “true, but i supported you, sif.” JSHSKHSKSJSKSJSJ

HORSES ON THE GLITTER GLASS BRIDGE. this is all beautiful wtf i love asgard. HEIMDALL- thor stfu dont shut loki down ya fucker. yall are bullying loki and then get shocked he turns evil?

MAGIC SWORD IS THE KEY TO ALL THE REALMS. HAHA ROUND THINGY GO SPINNY SPINNY. heimdall tells em the bridge to frosty realm might fuck em over and leave em to die.

“we shouldnt be here.” MAYBE BRING THAT UP AT THE PLANNING BIT, NOT THE ‘WE’RE HERE LETS GO EXPLORE’ BIT. DEEP VOICE IS SMEXY AS FUCK

“You’re nothing but a boy. who came to prove hinself a man.”

“know your place. brother.” STOP BEING MEAN TO LOKI, THOR :(

HAMMER GO B O N K ON FROSTY BOYS SKSNSKSKSK

LOKIS MAGIC IS AMAZING YOU’RE DOING GREAT BBY- laughing during a sword fight because fuck every other emotion righ- OHSHIT NVM HE GOT IMPALED ON A SPIKE OF ICE

GIANT SNOW BEAST GO BRRRR. THUNDER ON THESE FROST COVERED ASSES- whY is he still laughing he got a spike through his chest what the hell dude you good?

HOLYSHIT THOR JUST CHUCKED MILNNOR THROUGH THE BEASTS FUCKING HEAD LIKE A KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER

ODIN TO SAVE THE DAY AND GET HIS CHILDS ASS OUT OF TROUBLE. thor started a fucking war because of this fightboner jesus christ this child. SHOUTING MATCHES

daddys angry with his child- thor is unworthy this, unworthy that. AND BANISHED TO EARTH LIKE A FUCKING LOSER SKSHSKSJSJ

and back to padme’s modern time wE GO

HA HE GOT MERKED BY A TAZER

DARCY YOU ADORABLE CHILD

“How dArE YOu aTtAcK tHE SoN oF oDIN😡😡😡” hes like an angry puppy

body in a photo?? pog info??? WHY HAS HE BEEN HIT BY A CAR TWICE ALREADY

STAN LEE

COULSON

THOR IS FUCKING RIPPED. meanwhile is ass guard. loki snitched for a good reason. but nOoOoO thors, friends, blame loki.WHY ARE THEY BLAMING LOKI FOR BRING IN THE FROSTY BOYS- oh shit he can controll the snow cube. backstory for loki? mayhaps?- HOLYSHIT HES A SMURF

“the casket wasnt the only thing you took from jotunheim that day, was it?” HES ONTO YOU ODIN. odin literally kidnapped- oh no nvm loki as a baby was left for dead. I WANNA HUG LOKI SO BAD HES IN EMOTINAL DISSTRESS :(

“because i-i-i’m the monster, parents tell their children about at night?” LOKI BABY EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY

holyshit loki’s breakdown killed odin wtf. my man collasped onto the staircase

“this drink. i like it.” “i know its gre-“ “ANOTHER! *SHATTERING GLASS*”

“myeu muh? whats a myeu muh?” DARCY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SKSHSKHSKS

man coulson thats a dick move to snatch up all of padmes shit- AND DARCYS IPOD???

loki do be looking snazzy on the throne👀 good for him. look at these fucker friends of thor tryna make him inbanish thor :/

BOOKS- on norse myth.? yeah norse myth

padme is sus of thor, and almost got em into a car crash. “god i hope you’re not crazy.” oh wait till you aee what happens

ODINS TAKING A NAP FOR THOUSNDS OF YEARS OR SUMSHIT

frigga is tryna convice loki they meant well. kinda hard too ngl. damn shield has beefed up security around this fucking hammer

oh shit electrical thunder is fucking with the shield tech once thor showed up. RAIN AND MAGIC HUMMING- thor is kicking shield’s ass- COULSON- who the fuck chooses a bow and arrow to shoot a target when they had sniper rifle- barton- HAWKEYE NVM BADASS ARROW GUY IS AMAZING

oh shit thor found miljjnor. mudfight but make it less smexy. epic momentt pogg.. its totally gonna fail him so fucking bad its gonna be funny

told you so.

now hes yelling at the sky like an insane person

AND got arrested :I

poor heimdall having to watch this all like a sad sitcom. OLDMAN STFU

“look its myeu-muh!” darcy needs to be protected at ALL COST. ohmygod they think thor is a solider from enemy lines aIshsksjskks

LOKIII- oh shit hes telling thor everything went wrong bc him and that a truce was- NVM LOKI IS TRYING THE HAMMER. YOU GOT IT LOKI

old man go save thors stupid ass. redeem yourself. bar talk is somehow wholesome. oh shit thors gotta dip outta town bc oldman said so. he didint listen to odin and ended up starting a war- OH CRAP LOKI DID LET THE FROSTY BOYS INTO ASGARD.

heimdall knows loki is causing trouble. good for loki. HA RHE OLDMAN GOT FUCKING WASTED BY THE BOOZE LIKE A COWARD.

padme is so awkward around thor. shes in looovvveee. awh thor snatched up her genius book from shield. YIGHDRISLE is such an amazing name for a tree filled with planets and worlds

DUDE DONT SHAME THE MAN FOR STRESS EATING

LOKI KNOWS HEIMDALL SNITCHED AND LET FUCKER FRIENDS THROUGH. HOLYSHIT THEY FOUND THOR SLJSOSJSKSKS

thor knows loki lied- heimdall knows loki let in the frosty boys, and is currently frozen soild by that blue cube thingy. AND NOW THE OP METAL LAZERBEAM BASTARD IS ON EARTH

OH GOD A SPEAR THROUGH THE THROAT MUST HURT LIKE A MF- SIF DONT DIE

LAZERBEAM STOP BLOWING UP BUILDINGS

dude things were getting blown up left and right but suddenly thor’s plot armor engaged and a car just flips over him and instead of going boom. standoff between lazerface and thor- whomst shall win? find out next week on: HOLYSHIT THE NORSE GODS EXIST

loki just watched thor try to give up his life and now lazerface is leav- FUCK NVM IT BITCH SLAPPED THOR SKSHSJSJSJSKKSKSJ. oH now it leaves

hammer go brrr soon? HAMMER GO BRRRRRR

PADME SAVE YOURSELF THOR JUST GOT POWERED THE FUCK UP

“oh my god” YOU JUST SAW A METAL MECH SHOOT A LAZER OUT ITS FACE AND FOUR PEOPLE IN VIKING ARMOR FIGHT. ARE YOU STILL SHOCKED???

LAZERFACE GO BOOM. THORS BACK BABYY

oh shit the frosty boys are on asgard- HEIMDALL NEEDS TO UNFREEZE AND WORK ITS MAGIC LIKE NOW

oh god the animation for some dead frosty boys got so noticable that was horrible.

TIME TO GO KICK LOKI’S ASS SKSKSJS- OHFUCK FRIGGA NOO. OHSHIT LOKI JUST MURDERED LAUGHY THE FROST KING.

lokis “ohshit thors back” face is amazing

loki hun what the fuck are you doing- stop tryna destory shit like a hero.

“I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL!” my heart is torn :((

brothers fighting while a energy tree builds around him? sure why not. ohfuck loki got his ass handed to him- THOR WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HAMMER ON HIM LIKE THAT SKSHSKSJSJSK

THOR WOKE ODIN UP BY VREAKING THE FUCKING RAINBOW BRIDGE

ODINS AWAKE AND SAVE EM AGAIN

IM CRYING LOKI JUST WANTED TO MAKE ODIN PROUD AND HE SHUT EM DOWN LIKE THAT. ODIN YOU FUCKING SUCK

awh this is making me sad i dont like this sad ending this sucks so much. loki deserved better then to die knowing odin hated him :(

heimdall is out of a job now that the bifrost is broken haha loser.

NEXT MOVIE: THE AVENGERS

ignore the misspells and the bad grammar its almost two AM by the time i finished watching and writing this up

[elvencantation]

gyadl episode 8 liveblog

- let me just start out by saying

- oh my god this mask looks so stupid 😂

- ok we can continue now

-and like- ‘master has instructed us to follow you and listen to ur orders’

-why’d he tell them to listen to his orders is he mocking xxc 😂

-ah yes pretend to be making a phone call great idea. cool phone tho!!

-aww hong lan looks so cute in bed with her dog ☺️

-she’s just so pretty 🥺

-surprised she played along tho

-‘i see that in the future you’ll be a good wife’ ??? ‘and mother’ dude wtf??

-oh her green outfit with the hat is cute!! must resist giffing her every time she comes on screen 😂

-and her choker is cute!!

-wait their outfits actually match colors 😂

-that is not the same mask as in the preview of the episode... it’s like someone cut the bottom half off

-stupid boy why did u get her stiletto heels. ofc it’s gonna be hard to walk, shes not used to them!

-‘you must get used to them because you have to dance in them’??? when did u start being so stupidly bossy? oh right when u asked her to give u her most prized possession as a symbol of her acceptance of u 😒

-oh my god i see her mistaking him for someone else wearing the same mask. hopefully my boy lfs???

-girl u don’t wanna be with someone that inconsiderately controlling

-and another boring montage 😂  am i being a bit mean? maybe. but they bore me as a couple

-time for sad lfs ☹️ ohhh he’s making her poster into a boat!

-ofc he saw them dancing. poor dear

-I DONT LIKE SEEING HIM SAD IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY

- and ofc i giffed it. i am nothing if not entirely predictable. z1l + angst? im sold. thats the entire reason i started watching this show in the first place 😂

-oh tianying actually looks cute with her hair in a bun!

-ofc lfs is wearing a sleek black suit 😍

-ohmyGOD xxc *still* thinks lfs betrayed him? 😒

-stop being a bitch to ur best friend dumbass

-omg ofc hong lan is stunning in her masquerade outfit 😱😍😭

-where did all these girls who want xxc to drink come from

-awww gremlin brother is here!!  he is precious to me

-OH SHIT DID SHE GET RUN OVER

-lfs is such a good friend!!!!! xxc u don’t deserve him 😒

- omg the scene in the bathroom i cant

-I WAS RIGHT ABOUT HER MISTAKING LFS FOR XXC YES GIVE ME THAT ANGST. that sweet sweet angst

-omg is he gonna notice her arm??

-wait weren’t those shoes pink and not silver? or maybe it’s the lighting

-omg he can’t talk cause she’d recognize it’s not the right voice. the intrigue!

-OFC there’s drama. i love it

-ah my boy got shot!!!!!

-girl cant you tell already it’s not xxc?? it ain’t even the right hair 😂 i mean. stress i guess

-are you REALLY trying to talk about tianying when he’s LITERALLY CUTTING YOU OPEN?? my god he’s got no emotional intelligence whatsoever

-‘it seems our relationship is really very complicated’ no it’s not?? you’re making it complicated by not trusting him dumbass

-let him operate on you already!!! god they’re both so stupid

-MY BOY QIKAI IS HERE

-OH NO GREMLIN DIDI IS HERE TOO I DONT WANT HIM TO BE SAD

-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HONG LAN??? GOD WHY ARE THEY TURNING HER INTO THE JEALOUS HARPY

-ohh my god the drama! ofc tianying is the only one with a compatible blood type 😂

-poor guy has to operate on two of some of the closest people in his life i kinda feel bad for him

-ofc he’s sitting with her and not his best friend, the one who, you know, almost *died* 😒

-‘i still can’t believe that the both of you could survive’ of all the stupid things to say xxc???

-ofc i don’t get to see if my bb lfs is ok. ughhh i should probably not watch anymore tonight it’s late

[asterekmess]

S3A - E1

Okay, instead of making like massive reblogs of thoughts as I have them for the episodes, I’m gonna just make a massive bullet point list that I’ll add to throughout the episode, so you get One post per episode instead of “Like all nine million of them.”

I put Read-More’s because I care.

Thoughts (of which I have far too many):

I’m in the first ten seconds of the fuckin episode. Why the fuck is Braeden electrocuting Isaac? Like, look, I wanna like Braeden. I have issues with her entire moral system, but I still wanna like her cus’ she saves Isaac. But...how am I supposed to do that when the literal first thing she does is electrocute my boy??? He’s knocked out, not DEAD (not that that’s how shocking someone’s heart even Works) and it’s not like she needs to trigger the healing process. He’s already got Gaping slash wounds on his chest. He’s hurt enough. ALSO. “Be quiet”?? R U Serious? You’re electrocuting him. YOU try being quiet with fucking jumper cables on your chest.

The CGI...is so bad. Oh my god. What the absolute fuck. it looks like Sharkboy & Lavagirl. And why aren’t Ethan & Aiden’s claws doing anything to the bike?

I AM CONFUSION. If the twins don’t have to take their pants off to do the Transformers shit, why do they have to take off their shirts? Can...can I just skip that? Make the big bad werewolf wear an ugly hybrid of two of their stupid ass sweaters? Or do Ethan and Aiden really just like being shirtless that much? (I wouldn’t put it past them)

What is with Braeden and the electricity?

The writing in this show, what the fuck? “I thought I told you to hold on” EXCUSE ME, ma’am. He literally just passed out. His bad I guess.

Guess who has to add the anti-scott tag to this now? Anyway, I hate that Allison’s bit in the intro is her kissing Scott and then drawing the bow. Like, they’re broken up. They don’t get together in this season. Why are they kissing in the intro? That had to have Totally pissed off Scallison fans.

There’s my boy, holding up lizard tattoo designs. Pls tell me he took a pic and sent it to Jackson with the caption “It’s YOU.” Like, yes, way too soon, but man it’s fuckin funny.

This tattoo artist is a good-ass salesman. However, p-sure he’s not a good-ass artist if he had to wrap Scott’s arm up That badly. Like...they have stuff for that. Fuck, the one I got on my ankle, they used SaranWrap and Tape. Just needs to be kept out of the open air for a bit. You don’t need like eight layers of gauze. I do feel for Scott tho. That tat probably cost him like $50-75 before the tip. Oof.

Eyyy, time to be salty. Ya’ll know I love Allison, but does it get any more clear that she totally bailed on everyone after the warehouse? She went to France! She doesn’t even know what happened to Jackson after he got cured. ALSO. Lydia says “Derek taught him the werewolf 101.” Not Scott. Derek. XP

Lydia, honey, leave Allison alone. If she doesn’t want to go on the double date, go alone and make it an orgy. Fun, right? Wait, no. Don’t. You’re 16. Don’t do that!

When exactly did they “agree to give each other the summer”? She said “I’m breaking up with you.” he said “I’ll wait” and then she cried into her dad’s arms. Like...why didn’t we get to see this apparently incredibly important conversation? (maybe because it didn’t happen??)

I fucking LOVE the “I’m just gonna say hi. HEYYYYY! You know....they probably didn’t see us.”

The most horrific thing about that moment was the bad CGI.

I WANNA POINT OUT how cute it is (in a like, sad way cus’ she’s terrified) that Lydia is close enough to Stiles now that she immediately goes for his side and they like insta connect with the eye contact. Not in like a Stydia way, but like, they’re close. she trusts him and goes to him when she’s scared, even though he’s human and you’d wonder if she shouldn’t go to Scott instead, since he’s the werewolf.

SCOTT WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THE DEAD DEER. Your ability to smell chemosignals/sense emotions has nothing to do with touching. Stop poking the dead animal.

Wait, WHY is there a full moon in that shot? The full moon isn’t for like a week! I COUNTED.

...what? Why the fuck does Braeden think Scott’s an Alpha? Why tho? Like, seriously? WHY? He’s not an Alpha yet. Nowhere near it. And if she knows bc Deaton told her (i think he was the one who hired her) then shouldn’t she know he isn’t one yet? IF SHE KNOWS that she can tell Melissa abt werewolves, WHY doesn’t she know that Scott’s Melissa’s son? Where is the LOGIC?

Scott’s morning routine is giving me Legally Blonde vibes. ~my perrrfectt dayyy, nothing standing in my wayyy~

I can’t tell. did Allison get highlights, or straight up dye her hair brown?

This sweet moment between her and her dad. Yes. Pls.

I will admit, I like getting to see each of their mornings.

Lydia...who are you fucking? Honey, you’re sixteen. Why isn’t whoever the fuck is in bed with you also getting ready for school? What.....the fuck?

Completely different Beacon Hills High School set. I really can’t blame the writers for that.

Wtf Davis? You list Erica and Boyd as being 17...since when? They’re supposed to be entering their Junior Year of high school. They would be 16 GOING ON 17. ANd what the hell do you mean Erica’s birthday is August 16th? She said in the last season that she’d “Just turned 16 a month ago” that was Spring semester. ???? Come on, guys. Seriously. Writing 101, getting to know your characters. I don’t know anyone writing a novel who doesn’t know the exact birthday of their characters. Plus, they cut 2 in. from Gage Golightly’s actual height, while adding an inch to Sinqua’s (according to google, which isn’t always reliable) Whatever. Boooooo.

Uh...that principal was threatened by the Argents. Victoria herself promised to torture him if he didn’t resign. Why does he look so surprised by the fucking sword in his office? For that matter, why is he at the school at all? He KNOWS the Argents attacked him. This should cause problems!

Honestly, Lydia, I love you. Like, go for it. Nothing wrong with not wanting to date and just wanting to have fun. My issues stem from YOU BEING 16. Yes, teenagers have sex. But this is ridiculous. Why is there so much sexualization? I knew a grand total of like....two teenagers who had sex at 16? and like one who did at 15 (which they say in canon she and Jackson were banging before her birthday). Like, it’s not nearly as common as y’all are making it out to be. Knock it off.

WHEN DID MELISSA MEET ISAAC PROPERLY? WHEN did that HAPPEN?

....so why didn’t Derek answer the phone? They literally never explain? He shows up, so...why didn’t he answer?

I’m SO InCredibly Disturbed by Jennifer having everyone’s phone numbers. HOW? In What Way is that REMOTELY appropriate? WHY did no one question it? Why didn’t STILES or LYDIA question it?

So tiny, bugs me so much. He didn’t turn his phone off. He turned his screen off...is it that hard to have him do the right one?

uhhh. Werewolves can smell other werewolves. Wanna tell me why Isaac can’t tell a werewolf just walked in the room? An ALPHA no less?

why TF are Kali’s iris’ and pupils so fucking massive?

So...what was the deal with the birds? Don’t they say later that Jennifer like summoned them? So they aren’t from the Alpha pack scaring animals? And also, how would the Alpha pack be scaring animals if they’re like, in the middle of town? They said in S1 that “wild animal sightings are up” like what 75% or something? “As though something is scaring them out” but that made sense, bc we knew Peter was running around in his full-shift (it’s a fucking full shift, it’s just fucked up) in the woods. But these Alphas aren’t, they’re integrating. So is it Jennifer that the animals are afraid of? Like, does she have sPoOkY aura or something?

More bad CGI.

WHy is no one responding to the woman stumbling around in nothing but a hospital gown?

ONCE AGAIN. Werewolves can Sense Werewolves. SCOTT you sensed Isaac in a BOYS LOCKER ROOM. DUKE IS RIGHT THERE. WHT THE FUCK?

angry smoker doctor  “Why don’t you wheel this joker out of here?” “I’m gonna go smoke” Grrr

Sir. clearly your mask wasn’t tied on appropriately. it shouldn’t just Fall Off when you touch it. there are Protocols! STOP THE SPREAD. also, someone wanna tell me why none of these alphas can keep their claws in? A lil flashy flashy red eye would’ve done the trick just fine.

Okay no, seriously what the FUCK is up with these contacts, you guys? THEY”RE MASSIVE???

Ugh, can I just *swoons* “I’m an Alpha!” slice “So am I.” That is just so fucking smooth. Woo. I feel so safe ohmygod. PLUS. Derek KNOWS Ennis. I can’t imagine how satisfying that had to be.

Uh, Derek, honey. You’re Isaac’s legal guardian. You can just Sign Him Out of the hospital. With clothes and everything. What are you doing?

Honey, what do you mean the county took it over? If they were gonna do that they’d have done it six fucking years ago. Unless you gave it to them, it’s still yours? I did the research. Like HOURS of it.

What do you MEAN there’s a magic healing herb that helps with Alpha wounds? Since when do Alpha wounds need extra healing, I thought they just took a lil longer? ALSO why is it growing INSIDE your house???? SCOTT. Isaac is fucking UNCONSCIOUS. Can your tattoo fucking WAIT A MINUTE?

I have so many questions. WHY does Braeden know who Allison is? If Lydia’s immune to magic, WHY is Braeden able to bruise her? WHY can Braeden DO magic? and WHY is Chris allowed to take Lydia out of school?

ALLISON you had Geometry LAST YEAR why are you holding a GEOMETRY BOOK??

ohhhhmygod, Derek. Derek. DEREK. Your eyes are pretty on a normal day. That little Blink and ruby reds thing? Ohmygod. I just. I wanna take a picture and just stare at it BUT. how tf does this whole red eye thing work? You can see in the dark....but now you also have x-ray vision? You know, I could believe it was thermal vision...maybe? If Scott was still healing for some reason maybe the tattoo would be brighter? Otherwise I have no idea what is going on.

BUT SCOTT”S NOT 18??? He’s Still fucking 16, or even 17, but not 18. WTF? He needs parental consent in the first place (i should’ve mentioned this in the other note abt the tattoo)

uhh...seriously? When someone breaks up with you and tells you not to talk to them anymore...why do you need a reward for doing as they asked? Like, yeah, you’re sad, I feel that. But making it a ‘reward’ sounds kinda weird. You know what makes it really easy not to text the ex that doesn’t wanna talk to you? Delete her number.

WHY THE BLOWTORCH? SOMEONE WANNA EXPLAIN? Peter’s not covered in tattoo from when he was literally burned alive, why the FUCK would a blowtorch create a black tattoo on Scott’s skin?

DEREK. HONEY. Why would Stiles be able to hold Scott still??? Scott’s a werewolf.

All this bullshit to explain away Posey’s tattoo that he got. Like, damn dude, we all like tattoos, but you have a job that needs bare arms on the regular. That was kinda rude.

Where did braeden get clothes? I forgot to ask.

uhhhh. Ephemeral might technically work in that sentence, but that’s still really awkward.

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DESTROY HIS DOOR? YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. And WHY the instant fucking grr face? “why’d you paint the door?” uhh, leave him alone? He can do what he wants? It’s his house? Also, don’t get all fucking rude about the alpha pack. He told you it was a rival pack.

KALI. PUT SOME FUCKING SHOES ON. JESUS.

Why exactly does Scott see the symbol and INSTANTLY put together that it’s got anything to do with the Alphas or the animal attacks? Where is the logic jump there?

What exactly was the POINT of popping your claws if you were gonna kick her in the face???

UH, Melissa? Why didn’t you tell Scott that there was a whole other person with Isaac?

What is with the face touching, Duke? I’ve never known a blind person who actually wanted to rub their hands on my face to ‘find out what i look like?’

Really not a fan of all these weird jumps and camera angles with the awkward reflecting.

WOah WOah. Allison gets to PAINT her APARTMENT? Wtf kinda BULlshit is that? My landlord won’t let me do that. Rude.

I know they’re imprisoned and it sucks, but they’ve been there for four months, they had to have gotten bored. Do you think they broke into any of the security deposit boxes to see if anything was left behind?

Last thoughts: They really went for it with this episode. I have plans to change a lot of it. Hopefully I can mesh the changes with the general plotline.

[whereconfusionisarhyme]

First Reactions To Logan’s Playlist

K first song let’s do this

White and Nerdy-Weird Al Yankovic

Wtf this song was definitely Joan’s idea I mean who else would think of ‘White and Nerdy’ for Logan

Is this like canon he listens to this stuff or like songs about him???

Not Perfect-Tim Minchin

TIM MINCHIN

Bo Burnham better be on Logan's playlist

#deep

Is this about the mindpalace/inside of Thomas’ head??? Cause like???? Ouch???? I think????

Lol nvm it’s not sad lmao

I take back my take back it is sad

So this could be literally “in his mind” or it could be figurative and it’s really messing with my funky flow

Streaks-ANIMA!

Cool instrumental

Love the voice sounds a little like MARINA and Regina Spektor

Oh no I’m two lines in and I can tell it’s gonna be sad

OH NO CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST AHHHHH

Wow Logan is just out here being relatable isn’t he smh 😔👊

"Cause you're a smart kid, but you're still a kid" LOGAN REALLY BE OUT HERE BEING RELATABLE ON MAIN

The Elements-Tom Lehrer

Sounds like what piano class would sound like if I took piano class

Something you would listen to in science class

Bop

Medicine-STRFCKR

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out vibes

Lmao nvm

Gonna go look up the lyrics rn brb

A sad bop

Philosophy cool

Human-Tank And The Bangas

Logan playing this to comfort himself because this singer is the only person who has ever told him this

WHO HURT LOGAN WITH THEIR WORDS

LOGAN THE HEART SKIPPING COMMENT ARE YOU OKAY IM GIVING YOU A HUG

GUYS LOGAN IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF THAT HE MATTERS IM NOT OKAY

Last???? Relationship???

Okay I'm not a shipper BUT my theorist analysis obsessed brain is just SCREAMING about Roman and Patton

Observation: Logan is probably atheistic and this song covers God a lot. I don't have a conclusion or anything just pointing that out

This woman do be calming tho like yes I'm beautiful yes I'm special thank you

Okay so I already knew Logan wasn't okay but he 100% isn't okay

Fittet Happier-Radiohead

K two words in and I can tell this is gonna be sad here we go

Employees? Or maybe…other sides?

Minor key ok

SELF HARM ISNT OKAY

"WILL NOT CRY IN PUBLIC" NONONONO

So I heard of a good therapist just downtown-

The Watchtower-The Dø

I paused it cause I need a second after the last one

Guys as someone who dissosiates a lot I think Logan might be dissosiating

Dissosiating to protect himself from his emotions

Y'all just trust me in this one

Coming for the TØP brand I see

K ready to start again here we go

Fire beat I'm vibing with it

Is he trying to distance himself from his emotions to try and perform his tasks better like watching from a Watchtower???

This is the first character I've seen that might dissosiate which only means one thing

I'm gonna be projecting an unholy amount in my fanfiction

"No one in particular" hon who hurt you

City Lights=Emotions (which he considers distractions)??? Maybe??

I'm a William Finn fan come on this isn't my first rodeo

Art Is Dead-Bo Burnham

BO BURNHAM I WAS RIGHT

We all love some good Imposter Syndrome (tm)! :D

This gives Learning New Things About Ourselves' a whole new meaning

Ngl this is the first time I heard the degrading of the piano at the end and I'm here for it

In My Mind-Amanda Palmer

Oop we LOVE setting up impossible expectations for yourself to the point you have a cripplingly horrid self esteem! :D

Logan I've done this before and trust me it isn't worth it the mental breakdowns are too taxing

I'll do it when I'm older=I'm never gonna get around to it

I don't wanna be the person I wanna be either

Why do I perfectly understand every lyric am I ok

Live!!! While you!!!! Can!!!!

At least there's a happy ending

Okay so I've decided that once I'm done I'm gonna make a list of songs I think would fit in the playlist

Algorythym-Childish Gambino

K its spelled incorrectly get ready for some metaphors my dudes

Intro is cool definitely very very Logan WOAH OKAY CHAIN SMOKER

Gonna go look up lyrics I don't understand shit

The chorus sounds like Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house where like 100+ African American relatives blast house music and dance until their feet falls off

Nvm no it doesn't

GO OFF

ELPHABA BETTER WATCH OUT CHILDISH GAMBINO IS COMING FOR YOUR BELT

Adlibs are everything

Letter C-Zach Sherwin

This gives off the same vibes as that one pickle video by Charlie Puth

Roman vs Logan rap battle but it's this

I don't really see why this is related but sure

Time Adventure-The Marcus Hedgehog

Nostalgiaaaaaa

Okay Logan has too many songs talking about one (1) person who is it

I have a gut feeling that it's about Thomas and how Logan used to be enough "back then" but now he thinks he's not cause like let's be honest when was the last time someone gave Logan a strong sincere thank you for all that he does????Excluding DWIT (which doesn't really count in my opinion cause they said he was cool, not like an integral and arguably the most important and powerful side) nobody really appreciates Logan???? Hugs???

Anyway plz ignore this is just how my brain works

K next song

The Breach-clipping.

OKAY SLOW DOWN IM GONNA LOOK UP LYRICS

Is this Daveed Diggs???? I haven't listened to Hamilton in like forever is this Daveed Diggs???

LITERALLY PERFECY PARRALLEL TO LOGAN AND THE SIDES

Sound effects

Really just gonna fry my eardrums like that huh

What I Do For U-Ra Ra Riot

Okay scrap anything and everything I said about it being the sides Logan is 100% talking about Character!Thomas

Erase Me-Ben Folds Five

Ooh this intro reminds me of this one particular musical songs but I don't remember which one

Wait have I listened to this before????

I've listened to this before!

Okay I need to stop being distracted

NOOOOOO don't Erase Yourself!!!!

Logan really just do be having no Self Esteem don't he

Okay so theory: Logan didn't pop up in person in the last video because his eyes were too red from crying

I have 0 evidence so it's not a very good theory but…

Just throwing it out there

One More Time with Feeling-Regina Spektor

Oh no it's Regina Spektor

Oh no I'm gonna cry

Okay so Logan doesnt wanna block of all emotion, only permit some to show???? But most of the time block everything????

Did I get that???

Nobody!!!! Thanks!!!! Logan!!!!

Awww he just wants love and recognition

Tbh this sounds a lot like Roman they have so much in common despite their constant arguing

Galaxy Song-Monty Python

Ooh Monty Python

I haven't listened to Monty Python so I sadly don't know the context

Really just dissing all of the other sides aren't we

Can't really blame him tho

Very scientific

"Yeau~"

Sweet with dark undertones. Love it.

Equation-Hans Zimmer

Later I'm gonna check the equations if they're correct XD

Sunrise-In The Heights

!!!!!!

WHO???!!!!!

K to this is one of my favorite love songs ever it's just so sweet and as someone who's bilingual the concept is just amazingly wonderful so yeah I may be freaking out

Also because WHO??!!

Okay I said I wasn't a shipper but let's be honest this is probably about Roman not romantically but like

OR MAYBE JANUS???

IM SO CONFUSED

But Logan is definitely Nina in this situation it just fits so well with her character for the same reasons I really wanna play her (but never will cause I'm exactly 0% Latin American smh) yeah the pressures to be the smartest and then it backfiring horribly and oh God what if Inùtil is also in the playlist ahhhh

Okay moving on

Lifeboat-Heathers

WHAT

NO

NO

CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST LOGAN STOP BEING RELATABLE AHHHH

IS THIS CAPTAIN THOMAS??? THE OTHER SIDES AS A WHOLE??? AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT???

IM NOT OKAY

Bohemian Groove-Will Connolly

Okay I'm still not recovered from the last song but I need to continue or else I'm never gonna finish this playlist

Eeecccchhhhhoooo

Your friends haven't surpassed you Logan you belong with them okay????

Emptiness despite success??? Millennial who???

Vibing with it but also are you okay

Nvm I know the answer already

Hug All Ur Friends-Cavetown

Okay so Logan is a Cavetown gay noted

Self validation??? Who's she???

Lies. You care so much about what other people *sides* think about you

Maybe Logan listens to this song to remind himself to not care too much

But it doesn't work and it's getting to him more and more

Oh

That took a turn

Breathin'-Thomas Sanders

Good move

Don't really have much to say on this

The Bidding

Spoopy

Alchoholic!Logan

New idea for us fan writers

The pronunciation of beurgoise

Okay I'm like pretty certain at this point that all of the songs that mention a someone else is about Character!Thomas

A Better Version

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS MUSICAL ITS SO UNDERRATED I HAVE LISTENED TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND UNGODLY AMOUNT OF TIMES YESSSSS

But also since I know the song in terrified cause the feels are gonna come in I just know it

Wait so is Jayce supposed to be Thomas???

I am suddenly feeling much more uncertain about my certainty

Okay let me unpause and just listen to it (even though I already know all of the lyrics)

Okay so I'm a dumbass and apparently this song isn't even part of the playlist

Okay so I'm an idiot and the last few songs have all been "related to playlist" and not in the actual playlist I'm big dumb.

Anyway here's my list of songs I think would fit. (BTW, I only went off of lyrics for these ones. I realize that there’s a general sound and vibe for the playlist, but I decided not to follow it.)

Oh No! ~ MARINA

Hug All Ur Friends ~ Cavetown

Bohemian Groove ~ Will Connolly

Guiltless ~ Dodie Clark

Lifeboat ~ Laurens O’Keefe

The Bidding ~ *idk who*

I Am Not A Robot ~ MARINA

Inútil - Lin Manuel Miranda

Through The Eyes Of A Child ~ AURORA

Community Gardens ~ The Scary Jokes

Let me know if I should do this with the other playlists as well! :)

[hcneymilkks]

NCT Jeno ‘Next Door’

requested by the lovely @jaeminsoftgf ! thanks for requesting Summer and I hope it lives to your expectations! 

Request your own oneshot here!

prompt numbers:

2. SWEATER PAWS AND CUDDLES. “if you don’t grab me a blanket I’m breaking up with you.” “I’m watching Barbie Nutcracker.”

16. Neighbour au in which one gets drunk on mulled wine and ends up knocking at the other’s door, drunkenly trying to seduce the other and - instead - passing out in their living room

Pairing: Jeno x Reader

Genre: Fluff/slight crack 

Word count: 1.5k 

MASTERLIST

So,,,,,, you come home earlier than expected for the holidays and notice that the neighbours beside you have moved out

They lived beside you ever since you were a kid and you were sad because they were an elderly couple who were so sweet

So ofc you get sad and all

BUT

The new neighbour comes rolling in and WTF

He's handsome.....like hella handsome

Meet Jeno. Second-year University student studying medicine

He comes popping to your door to introduce himself and that's when you knew

Uh oh

Fuck no,,,, heart pls skip the love at first sight ahhhhhh

So naturally, you would do what any ordinary person would do, you introduce yourself back and ask if he wants to come in to hang or something

But yet, you're not ordinary and instead slam the door in his face and run up the stairs

"Y/F/N I swear he's hella hot....and I just did a dumb thing."

Mr. Jeno on the other hand,,,, just couldn't get you off of his mind

Like he thought when you get into University, crushes are non-existent

NOPE

Moving into this new neighbourhood made him realize something, he wanted to be friends with you.

 ....maybe even more.

 A few days into break and you're helping your parents decorate.

All I want for Christmas is blasting in your room and you couldn't help but belt out to the song and bust out your "best" dance moves

When I put it in quotation marks I mean like just fist-pumping many times into the air and doing the dab or something

You don't even notice but Jeno is just staring at you like "wtf are you doing woman?" but at the same time, he's enjoying it because he's never seen you like this before

Like come on you barely leave the house anyways

And like once the song finishes you look at your window and SEE THAT THE CURTAINS WERE DRAWN AND YOU REALIZE THAT JENO SAW THE WHOLE THING AND HE STARTED TO CLAP AND LAUGH (even though you couldn't hear it)

You scream and try to close the curtains but Jeno puts up a piece of paper

"you were AMAZING."

You tilt your head and then reach to grab some papers and markers and craft a response of your own

"BRO I AM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE THAT JSJSJSS"

More scribbling, more showing paper.

"LMAO IT'S FINE I GENUINELY ENJOYED IT."

Then you realize that you both are like recreating that one Taylor Swift music video by writing messages and showing each other INSTEAD OF JUST OPENING THE DAMN WINDOW AND TALKING

But its okay because you both get closer for some reason

Even though your hand hurts

And as you scribble down another response, Jeno beats you to it.

"WANNA COME TO THE NIGHT MARKET WITH ME?"

That my friends is how you went on a "date" to the night market

^^ I say date like that because you both don't know it's a date....but it kinda is

Food everywhere, some snow falling, a huge Christmas tree in the center

You both manage to do some Christmas shopping and regret not bringing a bigger bag.

"Jeno help I'm dying."

"okay um....wait,,,, what's your name?"

Smooth Jeno smooth.

But like how else was he supposed to get your name?

"it's Y/N. Now help me."

By the end of the night, your stomachs were filled, and your minds were filled with more ideas of what to do together.

NOT TO MENTION SOME PICTURES THAT YOU SECRETLY TOOK OF HIM

AND LIKE DAMNNNNN HIS SIDE PROFILE SEXY

You both finally got each other's numbers

Contact names:

 Jennifer/Jen NOOOOO LMAO IMAGINE JENNIFER IM CRYING

Y/N/The LOML/DabDab Y/N

Getting closer to Christmas and you both have late night convos and send each other memes

It's like WOOJIN God had sent you a sign like "bitch hello this is the boy for you now take him."

Conversations would be like:

Jen NOOOOOO: Y/N, Y/N, FOR FRICK SAKES Y/N

You: OI YOU ASPARAGUS WHAT DO YOU WANT I'M TRYNA SLEEP

Jen NOOOOOO: WHO U CALLING AN ASPARAGUS?! THAT VEGETABLE IS A STICK AND DO I LOOK LIKE A MF STICK!?!

You: UM......

Jen NOOOOOO: ANYWAYS wanna make snow angles?

Jen NOOOOOO: Angles*

Jen NOOOOOO: Angles*

Jen NOOOOOO: A N G L E S*

Jen NOOOOOO: OHMYGOD ANGLES*

Jen NOOOOOO: SJSJSJSJ NVM

Now we getting to the good tea oof

So it's December 23rd, two days before Christmas

You decide to stay at home cuddled up in a blanket having a movie marathon

And then the doorbell rings and there's knocking

You pause the movie, keep the blanket on like a cape and then open the door

The cold air hits your face before you could see who was there

·It's none other than Jeno

"Um hi?"

"Y/N! MY LOVE! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! HOW I MISSED YOU!" he funnily walks in and spins around in your living room.

At first,,,, you don't understand...like why is Jeno at your house at 11 pm at night?

Then your phone dings like 10 times

Jen NOOOOOO: IS THIS A Y/N?

You: UM WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU HAVE JENO'S PHONE?!

Jen NOOOOOO: I'M ONE OF HIS FRIENDS YOU DUMB DUMB AND IM HERE TO WARN YOU THAT JENO JUST LEFT HIS HOUSE TO COME TO YOURS....I THINK HE WANTS TO TRY AND KISS YOU OR CONFESS TO YOU IDK

You: WHO TF U CALLIN DUMB DUMB AND WHY DID YOU LET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE?

Jen NOOOOO: let's just say he got too drunk and elbowed Haechan in the face while he was restraining him

You couldn't even finish answering when Jeno back hugged you, his breath tingling the back of your neck

You stiffened at the sudden contact and you felt butterflies in your stomach

Oh no

OH NO

"Y/N....let's cuddleeeeee"

Jeno drags you to the couch and awkwardly tries to cuddle you which resulted in him giving up and just standing back up.

"Y/N look at meeeee."

Dammit he's a pouty baby.

He squishes his cheeks and tries to wink and does so many things at once like damn boy calm down.

"Y/N,,, are you a Christmas light? Because you light up my world.

"Y/N,,,, you're the gingerbread to my house."

Jeno stumbles walking closer to you "Hey Y/N,,,, you're sexy, come-" and instead passes out on the couch awkwardly.

You didn't know what to do. But Jeno's snoring made you snap out of your daze and took a photo.

You: WHOEVER HAS JENO'S PHONE PICK HIM UP LMAO HE DIED

Jen NOOOOO: HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA......nah

You: WTF

So that's how for the rest of the night you got stuck with a passed out Jeno and cringing at what he kept saying.

There's no way he was into you? Right?

HELL NAH YOU ARE SO WRONG

December 24th, the next day.

Jeno groans and somehow has the hugest hangover.....and realizes he's not in his house.

He turns his head way too fast to see you coming to him with water, some pills and breakfast.

It's like five seconds and the food is already gone...like sir slow down

Jeno feels much better and it's an awkward silence

"um...I'm gonna head out-" "Um...why did you come here yesterday so out of the blue?"

Cue Jeno blushing and stuttering and trying to figure out what to say.

"I uh.....well my friends and I were playing truth or dare and if we didn't want to answer the question we had to drink some wine. Let's just say I didn't answer any questions and I guess my um...heart led me here?"

Awkward silence.

"Oh...wow um I'm flattered? I mean I just didn't expect it....but I also didn't mind it you know?"

So that's how you both just indirectly confessed to each other.

You two didn't waste time putting the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend. Him grabbing a few clothes from next door because he said he didn't wanna be alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

"And what better way than to spend it with my lovely girlfriend?"

"Lee Jeno if you don't get me a blanket from upstairs I'm breaking up with you."

So what did he do? HE BROUGHT A BLANKET FROM HIS HOUSE LMAOOOO

Also some of his hoodies because of your late-night call confessions.

You: "I want a boyfriend."

Jeno: "excuse me am I not enough for you?"

You: "Jeno." *laughing* "you know what I mean...like I want a real boyfriend. One that I can cuddle all day with and fully call mine...NOT TO MENTION THE FREE CLOTHES LIKE HELL YEAH I WANT THEM FREE HOODIES FROM THE BOY."

When Jeno throws the hoodie and blanket at you, you're confused because you never owned this type of blanket...UNTIL YOU REALIZED THAT THIS IS HIS BLANKET THAT HE SLEEPS WITH.

Yeah you both literally, just call, text and facetime even though you are just one door away from each other.

But who has time to walk LMAo

Okay we getting off track so like back to the present day

So you put on Jeno's hoodie and damn does it smell good.

He notices that you have sweater paws and he just goes all soft and wants cuddles.

"Oh yeah, what are you watching?" he asks as you press the play button.

"I'm watching Barbie Nutcracker."

 For the rest of Christmas Eve you both cuddle under the blanket while watching Christmas themed movies.

And damn you think this might be the best Christmas ever.

[ramblingshit]

Persuasion 1995

The incoherent rambling commentary of a 3am viewing.

we start in a boat -- wait have i done this one before -- who cares CIARAN HINDS BBYYYY. I have sheep too just in my front yard ya know. that's just how it be. here's some boats - i can see where they pasted the fake boats in teh background i love it .calm nice piano music. dude is cutting the lawn people out here with top hats and wigs. oh dear everyone pissy SHOW ME THE MONEYYYY. lots of wigs and coats and here's a lady in a turban she's definitely the worldy kind. sailors n shit sitting drinking wine and smoking. oh god who's this. i can't hear the dialogue over my laptop fan. this ol mate's a fop i hate his voice. oh dear he's supposed to be a moron huh. oh whoops the fop is a baronet and he is poorr lol sucked in he got debtss extreme debts you musssttt retreennnnnchh. the neighbours be tryna help out and hereeee is Anne eyy. wow eatin grapes and sorbet and they're goin to Bath. he hates sailors and now he has to be ol mate's tenant. ohh Anne knows about the admiral and this fop keeps talking nonsense. a lady with no children has the best furniture. WENTWORTH she gasps. and she is dramatic and sad, puts her tea down takes a breath by the window and comes back takes up her tea and sits down damn. aww Ann---OH 'since no one will want you in bath its best you stay here!' what a fkn bitch what is happening. ITS AUNT PETUNIAA. naww anne is so cute and petite and so miserable. her sister looks cruel and stupid and her dad is just as bad honestly. damn they got Greek statues in their giant house. her sister. is. a . bitch. fuck me. give her like two lists and tells her to go visit everyone in the parish. damn all the peeps glared at him as he left like give us the money you foppish twat. Poor Anne, that is a fkn big ass house. everyone's watching em leave. ohhh cows. oop packing up the house, sheets over the furniture, she's lucky they got like a thousand servants. she's found something in teh box - it's a letter in the shape of a boat ooh i wonder who its from. she's been miserable for years; she hates Bath; her mum's dead and everything went to shit after that - her dad's a moron, her sister's a bitch, she's out here gonna fixedly avoid risking meeting him. Lady Russell - she's the one tsk tsk. oooh Annneeeee she is persuaded despite disapproval and anxiety of his prospects - she was 19 and she wanted to fuck and Lady Russell told her to fuck him off because he was a peasant damn fuck Lady Russell; she just brushes Jane off like shut up little girl I'm right you're wrong move on dumbass. And Anne's like, did you not hear me - i literally just tried to tell you I hate my fucking life and I miss him and I love him and I kinda resent you for telling me to say no. More sheep and a puppy, and close up view of sheep. dad and sister got to ride in a fancy carriage and Anne has to ride in a wagon that's a bit rough. I like her bonnet. oh my god her sister i love her. 'i am soooooooo ill' - she's searching for attention; lonely and miserable and sad and a little bitter. Mary you poor girl leave Anne alone none of that emotional manipulation. 'oh i was very well yesterday, it's just today' yeah alright. sounds like Charles isn't as rich as the Elliots and Mary's not happy about it.  ohh i know this lady and of course Anne can play piano very well and everyone knows it -- Mary tryna cut in like yes i'm as accomplished as Anne and they're awkward like ehhhh but we like watching you dance and Anne doesn't dance so there you go and she sits there with an awkward cringe 'no'. Mary goes off and sulks and Charles rolls his eyes. The Musgroves are rich and friends ohmygod Mary don't be embarrassing in your bitterness yikes and we cut and Mary was there but now Mrs Musgrove and Anne are sitting in teh same spot - I like Mrs M's dress, even the lace around her shoulders that matches the hat I don't know it just seems refined or something. There's lots of very swift conversations - good pace just like my fingers and brain can't keep up yo. Yikes Mrs M thinks Mary is a shit mum; Mary says Mrs M riles em up with lollies; Charles says Mary interferes and fancies herself ill; Mrs M tells the kids are so naughty the only way to keep em chill is to feed them cake; dunno who this girl is (Henrietta?) anyway the brown haired petite one, they're sitting in the window, Anne's finished her tea by now damn how is she so casually moving from person to person how long have they been chillin with the Musgroves? anyway she's tea-less and talking with brown-haired-possibly-Henrietta: wants Mary to stop being rude over Mrs M even though she has precedent to no one likes her for it; blondish sister now and Anne's got more tea and this one says Mrs M's not one for etiquette she just wants cake lmaooooo; Mary is superior and wants her to persuade Charles that she is very very ill. Anne and Charles sigh on the couch together. Now only Charles has got a tea. okay never mind Mary's a bit more like her sister than I thought. oh my god kids ew. it's petunia looking high as a kite ahaha i wish i was her naw petunia was like idc bout your sister I wanted to meet you btw ol mate is married and Anne's like kill me now I guess. she's horrified, shocked, wants to find an ant hill to bury herself in. god mary's a bitch i take back everything i said about her but all is well Anne has a new friend. she's got a very good memory, Anne does, naw and she's good with her nephews. what's this girls name plz tell me oh it is Henrietta. oh damn they're invited to the house tonight to 'meet Mr Frederick WEntowORTH by ALL aCOunts a most CHarMinG anD agreEable GeNtlemAn' Anne could not look more uspet. fixing her hair in the mirror - there's boys screaming ohh no a child what's happened oh god Mary's screaming for Anne the boy has broken his collarbone - she's knowledgeable chatting with the doctor - Charles marches in like wtf my dumbass kid out here falling out of trees - it's his first born the kid looks so fkn miserable that's hilarious now he's off to dinner cause -- oh damn i forgot they wear gloves. this kid's just lying there. ahah Mary doesn't give a fuck about her kids she just wants to be in on everything -- damn--"you are the properest person to sit with the boy. but you haven't a mothers feelings, have you?' like BITCH she's just offered to sit here so you can go to dinner and you're out here being a fucking cunt for no reason? gtfo. and the scene just changes with that damn savage leave Anne be she deserves better than this. oh damn i know that cheekbone. Anne's been out here watching this kid all night like literally and Mary shrugs off that Wentworth barely asked after her because they're barely acquaintances and says he and Charles are out shooting and Anne's tense like uhh they're not coming here tho right and just as Mary's like nah BAM SURPRISE BITCH o no O NO and THERE HE IS DRAMATIC ZOOM HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK AT HER SHE LOOKS TERRIFIED, HE BARELY GLANCES AT HER, doesn't talk to her, she grips the chair tight fuck he's hot. another swift glance and he's gone. dramatic zooms all around. Mary returned, didn't even look at her injured child who has a big ass cut on his face who's just sitting in the corner looking plain and miserable and wentworth - "you were so altered he would not have known you again' - scene cuts to her sitting in front of a mirror looking fucking sadddddd. they're all at dinner together fuck me he is so hot my god. the girls are all over him and he's enchanting everyone with his stories and of course the reason why he first went out comes up and he's like 'i was extremely keen... to be at sea. i was extremely keen. i badly wanted to be doing something.' the PAIn in his eyes, the tight swallow as he turned to listen to the Admiral, who sits Right next to Anne who's sorta just sitting with wide eyes staring at the salad bowl. then the admiral leans over 'when a man has no wife he wants to be afloat again' and she's like yeah wow ah ha ha ah 'yes well i had no wife - pity the essex (?? dunno what that means but I GET THE POINT)" and then he looks at her properly for the first time and i want to die and she wants to die and he wants to die and we are all quite miserable where we are BUT WE ARE ONLY A HALF HOUR IN and we move on talkin bout his ship crap just wait im eating chocolate but i have many thoughts. sorry honestly theres no time to take a breath in this movie i love it but damn it doesn't give one enough time to write and snack. RIGHT - ol mate's declared he'll never have a woman on his ship because its not pink and frilly enough and petunia's stepped in like fkn excuse me m8 wanna say that again? and also is Anne and petunia related because they are looking very similar to me right now??? they're not related. alright pulling us back yet again, I'm so sorry this is a mess I'm eating chocolate at 1 am and watching Persuasion, I think you can guess how my day has been. they keep talking about him getting married and he laughs and jokes it off and then excuses himself like yeah real smooth yeeting yourself outta here dude at that certain topic hanging around. naww the only time petunia felt scared or bad was when she was away from her husband this is adorable. ol mate's tryna play the piano to the amusement of the girls, sees Anne sneaking up to listen and immediately hurries outta there, face pale never moved so fast in his life i bet and they all follow him and she just sits down and starts playing while everyone dances. for people who were so refined they danced like crazy people --- 'no never she has quite given up dancing' Wentworth's face falls and he looks at her and she looks away from him come on guys you are hurting me. some guy has just rocked up who the heck is Henry - a cousin? who is not --- 20,000 pounds fuck me. Charles and Mary; wait we're talking about Henry. oh my god, they're planning who's gonna marry who - Henrietta and lousia and henry and wentworth 'what say you Anne, which one is the Captain in love with? she laughs slightly - I've never seen someone so depressed before in my life, at least not in a romance . this is actually a really sad story ya know, Wentworth got rejected and fled to sea; and Anne rejected him and became depressed about it for years. damn. anyway these girls can't go anywhere without Mary butting in, now they're going for a long walk or something and Mary's forcibly inserted herself and they look at each other and the poor kid is sitting with his arm in a bandage that goes round his neck? with that scratch on his face and adorable little round glasses sitting at the table with some cake and a puzzle he's doing with Anne like please don't abandon the suffering child has he even had any panadol?? Who the hell is looking after this kid if they're all going on this long walk - now Charles and Wentworth too. Charles helps two of em over, Wentworth helps Louisa over the fence, and Anne has to help herself over, which she does without hesitation good girl you do you fam. yikes Charles and that are going to Winthrop or something where Charles' aunt lives and Mary's offended to have such connections and refuses to go and assures Wentworth she's only been there twice and he half-smiles politely. louisa came running up to take Wentworth wherever and he like turned around to look at Mary and Anne and Anne fkn spun around to avoid him just generally so smooth these two so smooth. Anne's looking around at like anything and everything except him. every time he's nearby she tenses up and skitters around like she's tryna hide in plain sight but also stand tall and brave and staring straight at him like she wants him to look at her so badly. 'we all wish that charles had married anne instead' 'did charles want to marry anne' 'did you not know' 'you mean she refused him' 'yes' ... 'my parents think it was Lady Russell's doing, that my brother not being philosophical enough for her taste she persuaded Anne to refuse him.' ohhhhhh. damn. Wentworth is very quiet. Mouth tight. Brow low. Anne's freaking out down the hill. Mary's just stolen her spot. Christ. It's chaos. Anne's stumbling along she's tired she's sad she's got the depression her sister's a nightmare, WEntworth doesn't care about her, she cares about him, everything is awful and she trips over some sticks and he turned to look at her, concerned out of his thoughts. Hey petunias back with her carriage and they're offering a seat and Wentworth like rushes over and whispers for them to take Anne and she catches it like wtf confusion she goes to protest and suddenly He's AT her SIDE and he doesn't even say anything and he leans his head down to hers for a moment with a gentle look on his face, putting a hand to her back and her brain just shuts down as he leads her to the carriage and hold her hip tight as he helps her up and she looks around in shock and he's staring straight forward like everything is chill and doesn't look at her again. oh wait petunia is wentworth's sister damn awesome but she doesn't think very well of him. oh they're going to Lime and they ask if Anne can come and I think Wentworth choked on his tea a little bit. and here's some establishing shots : the ocean. Some rocks with seaweed on them. The shittest 'beach' ive ever seen there's like boulders everywhere where's the sand? is that a teepee of seaweed? what Wentworth looks pretty happy about it though like he wants to jump in. I like Charles he's a funny dude. Wow that is one helluva hat Wentworth. All these fancy people going into a sailor's home like etiquette is what but everyone is chill with it except Mary of course. is Anne supposed to have her bonnet off? o no now she's chosen to be the nice depressed girl who tries to talk to the weird depressed guy who is too into poetry about death. cute they're all shoulder to shoulder around the guy's table. she starts getting the hint that this guys a bit off 'you cannot know the depths of my despair.' damn son get a therapist. ohh shittt 'you have no conception of what i have lost' 'yes I have' she says, and Wentworth is sitting there smoking what could be a blunt who can honestly say and he heard the whole thing. Wentworth and Louisa are doing a whole lot of hanging out.  Like every time they actually speak to each other feels like a momentous occasion - they literally just said 'good morning' to each other and it feels like such a big step and her heads down and he's watching her BIG STEPS --oh shit some blonde haired guy that im sure will come up later tipped his hat to the girls and then Anne and Wentworth was coming up behind her and she looked over her shoulder to look at the BLondie but wentworth thought it was at him and he SMILED to himself nawwww. that looks like the house from Pride and Prejudice ahaha. whoop Blondie's back and she looked back at him again and now they're at breakfast ohmyGadh his eyes sparkle when he looks at her the few times he looks at her my god they're talking about Blondie who is apparently their cousin or something and he and mary and anne's father aren't on good terms and she tells Mary so and he looks over his bowl with those fkn sparklllinggg eyes and a playful smile and it doesn't even matter what he says just that look and he drinks his soup and licks his lips and looks up at her and she's just staring but like calmly not even freaking out and she lowers her eyes to her toast and just chills like all is well.  whoop i think weird depressed guy is gonna propose but before he can whats up we're helping girls down some scary stairs yikes i'd sit my ass down going down those things. Louisa is being crazy oh fuckkkk ahahaha hahaSPLAT holy shit oh fuck weird depressed guy is standing in the background with his hands over his mouth Anne is in there with Charles and Wentworth damn she'd 100% be a doctor nowadays, Louisa the dumbass has smashed herself on the cobblestones and WEntworht is just freaking out and he is looking straight to Anne who is giving straight smart orders and he is following them without hesitation - the other women are crying they're all sitting around her while the doctor does like... something and Anne's the only one like hey we have shit to do like people gotta hear about this we don't have phones and her speaking makes Wentworth speak and Charles is in shock cause its his baby sister whose hurt. Once again she's looking after the injured person and she walks out and Wentworth is talking to Charles 'I think it should be Anne - no one so capable as Anne--' he cuts off when he sees her coming in 'I-we-you'll stay, won't you?' he stammers as she enters holy fuck my heart can't handle...they're just staring into each others eyes; in any other context man. he clarifies himself but fuck if they didn't think it. ah fuck Mary is so annoying crying that she should be the one to stay with Louisa like bitch you didn't even give a shit about your injured son let alone your sister-in-law wtf she needs a slap why are they listening to her. 'If only I -- if only--' he cries in the carriage 'yes.' Anne said, looking at him sadly. 'Anne... I regret that...' he looks at her once and again and again and she lowers her eyes and holds the sleeping Henrietta close. like honestly i feel like there's no problem writing their dialogue cause there is just so little of it and when it does happen all of it means everything. but anyway she doesn't answer him and I am sad and he is sad. 'damned foolish' he sa---wait holy shit SCREAAAAAAAMINGgGg fucking hell grab your torches and pitchforks Mrs Mudahwhatver is screaming and Wentworth is riding off in the rain and once again Anne is all alone and she stays up just walking around all night and playing the piano and yay Louisa is conscious and Anne continues to be depressed poor girl and you can tell because its raining. and its still raining and they're not back-- wait now she's in Bath and her fop father and bitch sister are lounging irritatingly and he says he's happy for her to have come because it will be an advantage to have four at dinner. things are white and gold - clean and unhomely and too perfect and the fop is calling everyone ugly - they're eating sorbet again ahaha yum. god they all look bored and miserable and here's blondie come to greet them and he glances at Anne, processes and then snaps back to stare at her in astonishment he's got nice hair and he continues to stare damn and she's so confident she just smiles and stares back I'm so jealous she can do that. oh mygod they're having an intimate conversation in front of her shitty family dude i know he'll probs turn out like a wickham character but one can have hope. damn that jaw-line tho. hmmm lady russell is back. i hate her hair. metal cups are odd - they make sense but so strange. Russell's got plans man Anne's telling her about how her bitch sister is after Blondie and Russell laughs and pats her cheek. Oh yay it's petunia! aw she hears the admiral is in poor health and she's immediately like what's wrong here come get some water. damn bitch sister 'she is nothing to me' damn whats about the screaming and the random rage bursts damn. oh and here's a viscountess why are they always fucked. Blondie and Anne are in the corner flirting crazily I know he's bad but like you can't fake this chemistry no one's that good. and suddenly she's surprised?0oh my god that suit. Mrs Smith oh my god she's adorable she and Nurse Rook are gossipers hell yeah 'there are no secrets in Bath' naw this better not be a Helen situation come on guys - oh fuck Louisa is gonna marry weird depressed guy?? and Anne is freaking thrilled. damn it rains a lot here. far out hats are crazy. Here's Blondie. Anne's so used to being verbally abused by her sister she doesn't respond -----holy damn its Wentworth walking down the street. Penelope is n---- oh fuck he just walked in -- she took a breath with her back to him then spun around HOWDY he looks shocked and delighted and she hse ewihpewjihp oh my god they love each other and they're so nervous and uncertain about it oh my god so awkward and cute please trying to go through the etiquette script oh no so cute 'im already armed for Bath' he grins and she laughs ----oh no. ... oh shit. Blondie just showed up and she just accepted Wentworth's umbrella everything was going so well stop awwww nooo his face falls, her face falls everything is awful. standing all solemn and glum by the window and all dressed in white looking shiny and gorgeous her little sack bag is weird but. and who is she looking for, I wonder. The family is standing awkward---there he be. tall and commanding and hmhmmm i love a man in uniform - she steps in front of him as he tries to pass him by. asks him if he's come for the concert - 'no ive come for a lecture on navigation am i in the wrong place' damn son no he's so good at making her laugh she never laughs oohh her family have to bow to him interesting - he's asking her how she's been since Lime I love them talking he starts on about being concerned about weird depressed guy getting married to Louisa because of his depression about his dead fiance 'a man does not recover to such a devotion to such a woman - he ought not; he does not' i'm sorry was that a declaration of love m8 omg Anne knows it too 'i should like to see it again' 'would you i would've thought i mean the distress, too painful' 'but when the pain is over...' dudes DUDES guys please guys 'It was my doing solely mine - Louisa would not have been obstinate if i had not been weak - Anne, I have never--' GUYS NO the fucking viscountess wandered in ruining everything and now he's gone please come back who cares about this lady singing i mean the candles look cool and but stop honestly who cares bring back Wentworth. omg fop is asleep, Anne and Blondie are bantering and she's not realising that she's pushing into flirting, again my god silly silly innocent naive and entirely relatable lol help. but there's Wentworth standing all tall and handsome in the corner and he looks so sad and meanwhile Blondie is like tryna propose and Wentworth is tryna yeet outta there and she's sprinting over to him tryna block his way tryna convince him to stay HOW THE TURN TABLES 'the next song is beautiful its a very beautiful love song is that not worth your staying for.' 'there's nothing worth my staying for.' kill me. Blondie needs to like there's no way he couldn't tell.  Yay Charles is here! oh and Mary lol. Lol everyone is making decisions on what Louisa and Henrietta are gonna wear on their wedding day except they themselves?? And here is ol mate sweeping int eh room, smile briefly falling at the sight of Anne but everyone's happy to see them yay. mate what he just swept over to her talking softly ohmhwy god i don't think they've said anything directly to each other in their lives its all round the bend and metaphors and insinuations please kill me i love it he picks at her that she says she doesn't like the parties her family and Blondie give; 'they mean nothing to me'  she has nothing in common with them and dislikes how they are, they're smiling at each other - oh shit Mr Elliott is out there meeting with her sister's friend or whatever now fkn Russell's tryna PERSUADE (ahaha) her into marrying Elliot 'that is not what I want!' Russell is shocked. now he's here looking stiff and snappy and awkward because the admiral has told him to invite her and her newly engaged Mr Elliot to his house and oh my god poor ol mate he wants to yeet away into the sunset goodbye world fuck you all 'if you wish it all you have to do is give me a yes or a no and we are both released' 'the admiral is too kind...' 'just say it: yes or no.' fuck you jane austen. Anne is overwhelmed and stormed off Russell faces Wentworth, he sneers her name, she smiles serenely 'You have an extraordinary ability to discompose my friend sir' , he twitches ' you have an extraordinary ability to influence her ma'am for which I find it hard to forgive you.' damn and then the scene ends damn.  she's run off to Mrs Smith and Nook I love em she's ranting about everyone thinking she's gonna marry this guy and they're astonished and relieved cause he is poor and living on loans - he wants her for her money, title and lands thank god she's got her friends eyyy yasss. naw petunia and mrs musgrove are here my favs. Wentworth is writing a letter. whever they're in the room she can't help but look at him. she's talking with weird depressed gyu's fiance's brother - he's bitter that he's moved on so fast - she wouldn't have, its not in her nature, 'it would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.' 'do you claim that for your sex?' 'we do not forget you as soon as you forget us.' blah blah about women being stuck at home because people were shit to us back then fuck the patriarchy and all that. Fiance's brother says women and men are the same in being inconstant and forgetting those they love or have loved. Their convo gets interrupted by Wentworth knocking the whatever it is that they sprinkle over ink to dry it off the table and everyone's like dude the fuck we don't own vacuum cleaners you know. Fiance's brother says he's not read a book in his life that didn't have something to say on women's fickleness. 'but they were all written by men.' she argues. they laugh.  he's on about going off to sea and being the victim cause he has to leave his family behind and boohoo it's so hard for me to be away from them even though i'm the one choosing to go away. yikes too close to home. anyway lolol. She says that above all, women are the ones who love the longest when all hope is gone. they all left, he snuck back and put out a letter on the desk, gave her a look and then left. she pretty much threw herself at it OH MY GOD THE LETTTTTTTTERRRRRRRR dudes dudes dudes dudes deud ed dud oh ymf theihwhes 'where are you going' 'i hardly know' ihowyiqruhoijpfg0hurbj3ifjpgrn Charles just keeps on standing between them and chattering finally gets it tips his hat and trots off wringing his hands. those eyes - he offers a hand, he takes it - i tried to forget you, i thought i had. they kiss very slowly, very gently, very chastely. his hair all windswept like that is very becoming - the way she slowly ran her hands over his arm before tucking it into his --- aand now there is a very random festival procession what and they're walking down the empty street. okay cool fine. she wanders into the gaming room or whatever, the camera mans shadow spreading all over the place, her sister grabs her and tells her not to monopolise wentworth - there's another war coming? oh how romantic. 'MY PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO YOUR DAUGHTER ANNE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED.’ he fucking beams. everyones shocked. 'Anne? You want to marry anne, whatever for?' he just grins at the fop. And now she's on a ship and they're sailing off to war, oh how romantic. and there you go.

--

ya know before this 1-3am viewing i wouldve given this a 4/5 or even 4.5/5, but now I’m gonna give it a 3/5. there’s just something about it thats a bit... idk. still really like it but also.. yeah.

[jimlingss]

I literally hate myself i'm so damn emotional it's BARELY THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER & i'm already getting all emotional cuz of the baby shower & taehyung's letter inviting her to his graduation 😭😭😭 just thinking about him sitting at his desk, thinking about y/n, biting his lip a lil to hold back a smile as he thinks about her, a warm yellow desk light turning his caramel skin gold 😭 & then the fact that i could somewhat imagine what the baby looks like due to that one baby pic of jin 😂😭

[Potential Spoilers Below]

myjeansareonfire said:AND JUNGKOOK'S GON OPEN A RESTAURANT IMAGINE HIM IN THE FUTURE VIGOROUSLY COOKING DISHES HIS SLEEVES ROLLED UP HIS APRON TIED, WIPING AT HIS BROW CUZ OF THE HEAT OF THE KITCHEN, YELLING OUT DIRECTIONS AT THE OTHER COOKS HPSKSKAJDJAJ AND IMAGINE HIM WORKING HARD EVERYDAY AT UNIVERSITY, MAKING FRIENDS ALONG THE WAY AND WHEN HE GETS SIDE TRACKED HE THINKS OF HIS MOTHER AND Y/N AND WHAT THEY WOULD THINK AND WANT FOR HIM AND IT ENCOURAGES HIM TO WORK HARDER

A-and then... The self control... The maturity... The-the IDK MAN THE FACT THAT YOONGI WAS ABLE TO DO THAT AND /FORGIVE THE DAMN GUY/ I'M 💀 i'm so amazed and proud and happy i'm like that gif of that girl crying and covering her mouth with one hand while fist pumping with the other

T_T Now I can imagine Jungkook doing that too *screams*. You’re making me think of the other characters and their future and oh man...I got a really soft spot for Taehyung’s character....BUT DAMN THAT IMAGE OF JUNGKOOK WASHING THE DISHES - DON’T MAKE SWERVE LANESSSS. *fans self*

wHAT WHO'S THAT PERSON IN THE PICTURE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM ·O·

Namjoon turned into a softy my HEART also the image of him just picking up the child & throwing him into the light is quiet amusing tbh

Namjoon’s my favourite character of the trio. I’m very satisfied with his character development. And I love softness. I love soft people, soft gestures - I’m a very soft person inside as you can tell lol.

I'M SCREAMING WTF WTF WTFW TWFVA WHAT'S HAPPENING HOSEOK NO NO! NONONONOOOOOOO WHY 😭😭😭 SO HE'S THE PERSON?!?!? HAKDJAKKAJSKDCXJSJ WHAT'S HAPPENING GGGG I CAN'T I CAN'T!!!!! MY CHEST FEELS LIKE IT'S BEING RIPPED APPART AHHHHHH IT HURTS

Ohmygod jesus christ. What is this PAIN. That ending... Almost rivaled GoD because of the pain i felt in my chest... Geez. I am on the FLOOR i was /not/ ready for that. But i cannot tell you how releaved i was when i realized she was old and namjoon was there.... LOL i kinda feel bad cuz i was happy she died but like 😂😭 she was gonna see hoseok again! She was gonna be with him forever and that realization stitched my heart back together piece by piece

Part of me understand how you feel (since I cried sooo hard editing it) but the other part of me is laughing in my cave. I think it’s a very bittersweet ending - for sure.

And /girl/ i knew it!! I /knew/ y/n had to have known him in his past life... It's hard believing that she didn't tell him tho ;-; but i understand her reasons 💔 and GEEZ HE DIED IN SUCH A HORRIBLE WAY 😭😭 such a painful, painful way... Did you do that to show his strength and courage? I was thinking at first that that's such a cruel way to go but then again, i guess i kind of prefer it to an immediate death? Because.. Idk it's just kind of.. Beautiful in sad way? That ending also just (1/3)

seems to suite you as a writer more. It's more like, your style? And its more satisfying to see the prolonged way you write it. And our pain is kind of spared at the end knowing that she's gonna end up with hoseok anyway :') this series caused a lot of heart ache but in the most beautiful way. You have an amazing skill that never fails to blow me 👏 away 👏. How you can write to make people feel two polar opposite emotions and so well 👏 done 👏 always baffles me. This series (2/3)

might not be for everyone and i understand why but dear lord, i would do this all over again 😪 i'm just in awe right now 😂😭 another series... Well done :') 👏 (also on a side note that character 👏 growth ��� tho!!!!!👏👏👏 for all three of them! I felt like a proud mom seeing her kids off to college 😭 but at the same time sad that they're leaving ya feel ;( ) i'm off to reread Devil's own luck :D (3/3)

I’m still working on my suspense skills - I think it’s better this time around than it was for His Name. (the following is a His Name Spoiler - do not read if you do not want to spoiled) I made it pretty obvious Yoongi was the mysterious boy in Jungkook’s head and ppl had already began guessing that in the second chapter ._. so I tried harder to make it more ambiguous if Y/N and Hoseok had ties or not. I’m still working on it haha but I think it was much better this time around. When I was considering the way Hoseok died...I had to select something that was far away from Y/N’s home so he couldn’t run into her automatically and it had to be a death that was slow - for the OC to be able to “finish” grieving (or at least the hysterical crying shock) so it wouldn’t be obvious. With creating a physical distance and a time distance, the OC is able to be more coldhearted towards Hoseok and not run into his arms, sobbing and stuff. Something like that. It ties together with the beginning - how Hoseok wakes up in darkness and in rubble. (Oooh). Also, a slower death allows him to think about his last wish and about the OC as opposed to a sudden one.

I’m glad you enjoyed the bittersweet ending :) And yes someone once said an angst story is only true if it ends with angst but man, if I read angst and it ends like that I become really sad so I try to find a medium. BUT WOW I AM SO HAPPY TO BE CONSIDERED TO HAVE A STYLE - THANKS :D Thank you so much for your support and detailed responses, I couldn’t have done it without you either.

For your dedication and for any readers who read the entirety of this message - I’ll reward you with an easter egg. A special secret hidden message.

In chapter 4, the OC describes someone she used to know, someone who hated spinach but it kept coming back to that person, in the same way she is forced to use her abilities. In the same chapter, later on...Hoseok expresses his disgust for spinach. 

[protect-klangst]

Soooo basically this is my reaction voltron season 3 which I finished watching in the middle of the night honestly I was yelling most of the time you have no idea how excited I was the fuck but I got a tiny bit collected by the end of episode 2 so I started recording my reaction at the beginning of episode 3 aaand yeaahh

 Episode 3 

“KEITH WHAT THE FUCK"  *laughing* "UHDHDHJS LOTOR AAAAAA” “bITCH LISTEN TO PIDGE” “OH SHIT THAT LAUGH” “BITCH SAME” “YES BLOW HIM UP LOTOR” shit i love her. “Keith. No.” “YES LANCE IS RIGHT YOU’RE RIGHT BABY” “keith.” “KEITH. HONEY. NO” “SHIT ALLURA NOOOOO SAVE HER” “LOTOR YOU ASS” “NOOO ALLURA BABY” FUCK ITS A KLANGST MOMENT THIS IS WHY MY USERNAME IS PROTECT KLANGST I WANT TO PROTECT KLANGST FUCKFUCKFUCKUFCU KLANGST “KEITH NOOOO” “LANCE NO DON’T SAY THAT" “but bitch u right” “AW HUNK” "YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIES” “ALLura ohmygod I want to pROTECT HER” “OHMYGOD ALLURA THAT WAS SPOT ON” “Good god why does lotor’s face look hecka punchable” “THIS. BITCH.” “Yes ALLURA YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE” “YAAAAAAHS” “YEAAAH THINK LIKE LANCE” “Look I’m glad we’re all making fun of lance” GUYS NOOOO LEADER!KEITH I’ m weA K THEY FUCKING FORMED VOLTRON I’M GONNA KMS FUCK TWHATX THE FHDITSH HUNK IM A LEG OMFGSKDHS ALLURA IS SO PRECIOUS??? Guys. GUYS. IM WE AK YES KEITH. FINALLY.  TEAM LEADER. TEAAAM LEADER. TEAM LEADER BITCH Episode 4 I LOVE THIS AGGRESSIVE FEMALE GALRA SHE IS SO RELATABLE LIKE EVERYTIME SHE TALKS I’M LIKE DUDE SAME Keith is sitting on shiro’s seat I am not okay this is not okay I’m not crying you’re crying keith yes <3 hunk same SHIT ITS THE FUCKING TRAILER I'MDHSKSH ITS THE WHOLE FUCKING VOLTRON BEING SUCKED INTO THE WORMHOLE FFS THE DAMN SKELETON THE FUCK I ACTUALLY YELLED WAIT IS THAT  IS THAT SLAV WAIT IS THAT SHIRO “BITCH WHAT THE FUCK” “WHAT THE ATUAL FUCK” “BITCH WHAT” “WHAT” “WHAT THE” ITS FUCKIN SLAV BITCH WHAT IS GO IN G ON THATS NOT HIS FUCKIN VOICE IM “AHAHAHAHAHA ALTERNATE REALITY FUCKING HELL” SVEN. WHY. THE RAIN DEER. FROM FROZEN “The heck just happened” LMFAO SAME ALTEANS AAAAAHHHHHH HUNK SAME  I LOVE THIS FEMALE GALRA THE FUCK  I love Ezor ;-; “Bitch this is blowing my mind” “Allura you’re doing gr8 sweetie” I CANT TAKE SVEN SERIOUSLY I’M CHOKING THEIR DAMN ACCENTS GOSH I’M SO FUCKING CONFUSED BUT O KAAAY called it pftt these fake bitches “Keith. Yes.” “Allura. No.” “WAIT NO DON’T” Aw coran I’M ITS THE DAMN TRAILER AGAIN FUCKKKCJX KEITH’S VOICE WOOOOOO SLAV LMFAO “YES KEITH” “YES TEAM” “YES ALLURA” AAAAHHHHH LANCE WITH THE RED BAYARD I’M WEAK “SHIT NO SVEN” “SVEN NOOO WHAT” NOO ITS LIKE SEEING SHIRO DYING I’M NOT OKAY bless slav really. ffs let them rest. Episode 5 “SHIRO” “SHIRO SHIFOSGIRO ITS THE DAMN TRAILER” “AAAHHH WAIT WHAT THE FUCK HIS HAIR” ULAZ “NOOO PROTECT HIM” “WHAT THE FU K IS GOINGO N” I’VE SEEN THIS EVERYWHERE BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS GLIN GON “WHAT” “WHERE THE FUCK IS HE” WAS THAT NOT A FUCKING FLASHBACK WHAT wtf idk what’s going on and idk who this dude is bUT *SMASHES PROTECT BUTTON* Lmfao DIDNT SEE THAT COMING ITS THEM WHAT OH OHHHHHHHH THATS FUCKIN SHIRO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HOW DID HE GROW THAT MUCH HAIR “wait what the fuck” “SHIRO AAAAAHHHHH” oh shit lotor’s hot ???? I AM SHOOK WOOOOO SHIRO YES YES SHIRO DAD This bitch was caught by a galra and escaped twice how is he still alive THE PERSON FROM THE TRAILER WAS SHIRO OOOOHHHH SHIRO YES WAIT NOOO HE WAS SO CLOSE NOO NOOOOO SHIRO OHMYGOD THAT WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE I’M SO MAD THAT WAS SO FRUSTRATING okieee lotor has daddy issues I SWEAR IF SHIRO DIES I WILL FUCKING DIE WITH HIM “BITCH” HIS FLASHBACKS I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES THE FLASHBACKS SHIT IM SO FUCKING SAD OHMYGOD THE LION “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” “KEITH YES” “AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH” “WHAT THE FUCK” BITCH HIS SMILE HIS SMILE SOFT BABY KEITH SMILES I’M NOT OKAY I DID NOT EXPECT S3E5 TO TURN OUT LIEK THAT BUT FUCK THAT WAS REALLY SKETCHY THO WHAT

Episode 6 “YES LANCE” “YES BABY WOOO" AW OMG HEY KEITH I HAD THAT GUY I STILL CAN’T WITH LANCE + RED BAYARD AAAAAHHHHH “YES ALLURA YOU’RE DOING GR9 SWEETIE” “YES PIDGE” “ok buT WHERE IS SHIRO” “OH THERE YOU FUCKING ARE" where the fuck is their reunion scene the fuck “LANCE CONTROL YOUR GAY HUN” Hunk and Pidge’s friendship is SO UNDERRATED YOU GUYS I LOVE THEM “DID LANCE JUST ” HEY MAN PART TWO BITCH HEY MAN H E Y M A N THIS IS SO WEIRD TO WATCH ITS LIKE STRAIGHT OUT OF FANFICS I’M WDHAOSJS FUCK FUCKF UFKCU KFUCK UK “I mean you’re the leader now right?” FUCK i’VE SEEN THIS FANART SOMEWHERE IM DYIFNSSG it’s like ePISODE ONE ALL OVER AGAIN I DONT KNOW ANYMORE BONDING MOMENT FUCKING HELL THEY’RE SO SOFT I’M FUCKCJFUCKCUK BUT FUCK THIS SOME LANGST SHIT I CAN’T NO LANCE BABY I’M SO SAD LEAVE THE MATH TO PIDGE KEITH. WHY. KEITH. LANCE’S SMILE YO HSOSHSDK HUNK OFHSJDHSK OH MAN KEITH’S USED TO BEING A LEADER NOW I’M SO DONE I’M SO FUCKING DONE “alright what’s going on” same. EZOR AAAAHHHHH I LOVE LANCE X RED BAYARD KEITH X BLACK BAYARD I CANNOT COPE AUXIA OHMYLOORDDD SAME CORAN WHAT IS GOING ON “KEITH YES” “WAIT KEITH NO” “KEITH. NO. THE FUCK.” “Keith yes <3" He’s so soft WOOOO I’M GAY FOR Y'ALL FEMALE GALRAS “NO WTF” OHMYLORD THE FLASHBACK THE WEBLUM LADY OSHDKSHSKS IT’S CANON I GOTCHU BUDDY YES LANCE KLANCE HNNNGGGGHSH “PIDGE NOOOO” “HUNK NOOOOO” “SAVE THEM” “ALLURA NOOOOO” “LANCE YES YES BUDDY YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE” “nvm" oookie guess i’ll just die “NOOOOOO” “DON’T DIE THE FUCK” “WAIT WHAT” “OHMYGOD YES” something strange is going on here BITCH U RIGHT YOU’RE THE STRANGE ONE RN WYD keith :(((((  Episode 7 “what the actual fuck” “WHAT” EXCUSE ME THE FORMER RED AND BLUE PALADINS WERE LIKE HECKA CLOSE I’M SORRY I HAVE TO MENTION THIS ALFOR WHYSJSGSJGSJ ZARKON YOU WERE A GREAT HERO WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS NOW I AM DISAPPOINTED UM THE FORMER BLUE PALADIN WAS SO GAY AAAAAHHHH HAPPY DAYS nope nvm ZaRKON IS SO SHOOK OHMYGOD ISNT THAT THE CAT WITH THE BLIND FEMALE GALRA ZARKON IS BEING ALL FLUSTERED THIS IS HILARIOUS ALFOR KNOWS LMFAO what is going oN V O L T R O N THAT BLUE PALADIN IS SO LANCE WHAT THE HELL this is so weird to watch tbh “what the hell even is that thing” C OUGH red and blueCO U G HH 

I’M GETTING CHILLS ALL OVER WHAT IS THIS they boutta die ALFOR YES oh shit zARKON YOU ASS is … she… THE FUCKING WITCH SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK” I SWEAR BRUHHH YOU HAVE BEEN FOOLED “OHMYFUCK” OH M YDCYK OMDKLSBDKS I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS OH MY FYCK IN G I AM FUCKING SPEECHLESS

[ohh-kaye]

a realisation???

A preface: It is October 13, 2019. I’m putting it here because I don’t know if I’m posting this the day I write it or some other day because I think my brother knows my tumblr and I don’t particularly want anyone, let alone my family, reading this. So, I’m re-branding maybe? God I’m pathetic.

.

.

.

I finished a hospitality course yesterday.

 I am sad.

 It’s also so confusing to explain why.

 I don’t even want to write this post down because i feel like i’m going to slap myself in the face in the future when i read this because i sound so stupid.

 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 But i want to write this down (on the internet where people can read my private thoughts) because i will go crazy if i keep thinking about this and if i don’t put it into words, it’ll consume me for a long time and it’s not good so let’s just fucking put it out there.

 What is this that i’m feeling.

 It’s so fucking stupid.

 It was only 3 weeks that I’ve known this person and holy shit i want to keep talking to them. what.

 I don’t know.

 I don’t know.

 I do not know what’s going on with my head.

 The course is over and i don’t know how to contact this person and I sort of told them that I don’t have social media because I don’t like talking to people and fuck fuckfuck I’m thinking that he took that as a red flag or something and that I wouldn’t like talking to them but I do because you’re cute and I really like you

 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 I sound so stupid because it’s like I’m building this fucking fantasy in my head that this dude likes me or something and it’s so stupid because I’m stupid for thinking this. Right???

 I don’t know.

 I’m so confused right now.

 I’m never gonna see this person again so it’s obviously over, whatever this fake reality I’ve imagined, but there’s this tiny tiny tiny little voice in my head that’s like “It’s fate. You’ll see each other again”. Bitch no.

 This dude obviously didn’t like you because he said (as you were eavesdropping to his conversation with other people by the way you freaking creep) that if he likes someone, he says it to them directly and they let the person do whatever they want with that information. He didn’t say anything on the last day so he obviously doesn’t like you so you need to stop whatever it is you’re feeling right now because it’s over.

 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 When he started talking about dnd, I thought “shit this dude’s a nerd wtf” and then I realised that I like nerds which explains my weird attractions to my teachers because I think they’re so passionate and intelligent and this guy who I will refer to as “Complex”, is exactly those 2 qualities that I like.

 Side note: clues on “Complex”’s name: (1) this is related to the sinus rhythm, (2) those are his initials, (3) he is named after a director and a DC character

 I had a full interaction with complex when we made coffee at the end of week 1 and he was bursting with confidence and I don’t know why I liked listening to him talking about anything and everything but I just did and I usually don’t like people so it was very strange that I didn’t fully shut down as I was there.

 I knew by the second week that complex is a cute human person.

 When I got my job offer it was him and another person that I told first and he said he was proud of me and I was confused because bud you don’t know me so why are you saying that but also ohmygod he just talked to me.

 Ffs I’m a grown-ass woman and I’m swooning over any person who talks to me ahahahaha

 We talked about joker and I told him to watch it (he would’ve watched it anyways)

 By week 3 I was so looking forward to going to this hospitality course just because he was there.

 How fucking pathetic is that?! What is wrong with you get yourself together lady.

 We get it you like him but come on wtf are you doing

 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 I was going to the venue 20 minutes early just because I knew he was also there early and even though I’d sit in silence for the majority of it because I was being fucking coy than to engage in conversation, I was fine with it because if we did talk, there was more time.

 Wat

 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 Then we started talking about dnd and I know jackshit about dnd but he seemed so interested that I was also interested and he asked “are you interested in playing dnd?” and I freaked out and because I’m delusional, I thought he would ask me to be a part of his campaign and I didn’t want to because I didn’t like leaving my house and hanging out with other people would involve leaving my house so I said out of habit when people wonder if I want to hang out is “no not really” but in my head I was like “I wanna hang out with you goddammit but my social anxiety seems to take precedent. Nooooo”

 Then he introduced me to masks: storm force and he said “I’ll send it to you” and my fucking heart was racing for god knows what reason because I didn’t have social media for him to send anything to and I don’t know if I wanted him to know how to contact me because I’m actually terrified of people so I kept dodging it when he would say “I’ll send it to you” and I would just say “yeah I’ll look for it”.

 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 And by the end of that day, as I was walking out, he was waiting outside and I was saying goodbye and he said “if you want to watch masks, it’s called storm force” and I was acting casual like I was gonna watch it but not really but I am going to watch it because I want us to talk tomorrow.

 So I dedicated 2 hours of my night for it just so we had a topic of conversation and so he thought I was cool or something I don’t fucking know.

 The next day, he seemed so impressed that I watched it and in all honesty storm force is actually cool and I’m going to keep watching it even though we will never see each other again.

 I even made a new friend, Nancy (his name is actually Charlie but he became a meme so he became Nancy after week 1) and the three of us talked about masks.

 During lunch, we made the character Kevin, an elf wizard bard who controlled the sun and hated vegetables and went sailing from time to time and is also CHAOTIC EVIL, for his campaign because he needed a new character.

 That was really fun that day.

 After that, conversations came a lot easier and holy shit I just wanted to keep talking to him.

 Wtf

 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 And then on RSA day, there was a pair activity and because our little group had 4 members and I knew the other 2 girls already paired up so it was obvious that it would be me complex paired up but I didn’t really want to broach the subject by pairing with me in case he didn’t want to pair up with me so I pretended to do my work until he brought it up and then brought it up.

 I even fucking pretended that I didn’t hear him the first time.

 It went:

 C: kaye, do you want to pair up?

K: hmm?

C: do you want to pair up and go next?

K: yeah sure (I was fucking screaming internally)

 And we did the activity and we were laughing at the role play that we were instructed to do (we had to act drunk) and I was ecstatic that I was making him laugh and he was so fucking adorable when it was his turn. Kevin became an inside joke too.

 Mah hart mah sole

 The last day came and I was so sad because I was never gonna see him again and I really wanted to keep talking to him in the future.

 But then I remembered that the day before, I had said that I deleted facebook and he looked confused and asked if I deleted messenger as well and I said yes and he enumerated all forms of social media and I had no social media and what followed actually broke me because he said “So if I wanted to contact you, I have to contact you on your physical phone number” to which I replied “yes but then again, I would also not reply or I’d think about replying and won’t” and he laughed and I said “maybe you could send it on a bird” and he followed up with “so you really don’t like talking to people?” and I said “yes” and I DON’T WHY THAT FUCKING CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH BECAUSE (THIS IS MY DELUSION TALKING) WHAT IF THAT SHUT THE DOOR FOR HIM AND INDICATED THAT I WASN’T INTERESTED? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 Stupidstupidstupid

 Wtf is wrong with me

 Then I brought chocolates on the last day.

 Complex, Nancy and I talked some more because we had developed a friendship on the last day (of all fucking days *eye roll*)

 And we didn’t end up in a group together so I didn’t even get to be around him for a whole day.

 I sound so weird right now

 I sat alone during break and he came over to my table and I don’t even remember what we talked about.

 We went and arranged the chocolates that I brought and arranged them numerically and alphabetically and my hand brushed over his hand and I fucking died for a second.

 And during lunch break, we went to look for Nancy and we went outside but I didn’t really want to be outside so I went back in and waited for Nancy.

 Side note: I almost slipped and was about to say “Complex is so pretty”. Fuck that would’ve been disastrous.

 So, Nancy and I were looking at memes about dark souls and he came in and I think he was about to sit with us but I’m actually a bitch but I thought I was engaging in banter and I went “did you just interrupt me and nancy’s conversation?” and then I don’t know because he sat far away and was on his phone and I felt so bad and I wanted him to join in because it’s the LAST DAY AND EXCUSE ME I REALLY LIKE YOU AND WANT YOU TO BE HERE and after looking at memes, I invited him to the table because I felt bad and wanted him to be around and everything was fine (I think… I hope) and our table finally filled up with the rest of our “people who it at the front” group and we had a really good conversation and I guessed complex’s middle name!

 It really sucked when lunch break came to an end because I knew there was a finite amount of time left but at least I was making coffee next and he happened to be making coffee as well and we were the pair to go up and everything was fine and everything was cool and I was also sad.

 I didn’t fuck up making coffee that time though.

 And I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day because we went back to our groups to finish our assessments.

 At the end of the day, when we were cleaning up, there was one chocolate left and he offered it to me but I gave it to him because I didn’t want to eat the chocolate that I bought for everyone.

 And he has the most amazing smile and laugh that I’ve seen on a human person.

 I really hate myself right now.

 Before the class was dismissed, we had to answer a survey and I was writing really slowly just so I could finish with him and we could walk out together (because I’m a such a loser and a creep) and I could say goodbye but I wasn’t very observant and didn’t see that he had left already and was outside.

 So instead of saying goodbye, I chickened out and walked right past him and pretended I didn’t see him and went home.

 All I was thinking is “just walk away before you do something really stupid and embarrassing”.

 And I hate myself so much for this.

 *sigh*

 But you know what I am most certain of now?

 That I am definitely not ready to be in a relationship with anyone.

 I’ve always told myself this and only after this have I been truly sure.

 I read somewhere that if you meet the right person the question of “being ready” doesn’t even come up because you will pursue it if you’re really ready.

 I personally don’t feel accomplished enough in my life for me have pride in anything. I’m unemployed, don’t have a car and I live with my parents and I most importantly, I suck as a person. Maybe I should prioritise myself first? It’s like “readiness” for me is like “being content with myself as a whole”. And I’m not there yet.

 And also, throughout this whole fantasy that I’ve built up in head, I realised that I am not capable of going through this.

 If Complex had asked for my number, I would’ve said no anyway (even though I would really want to say yes) because I know myself and I wouldn’t follow through seeing this person outside of this little Hospitality bubble that we were in because I’m broken.

isn’t is disgusting that i’m assuming that he would ask for my number but i’m sure that he’s not interested this whole time and i’m making a complete fool of myself by writing about this whole experience

 I’ve been meaning to make a post regarding this topic for a while now but I’ve never had a trigger for it because of the lack of motivation and inspiration but I think now’s a perfect time to put it all into words.

 Hi, I’m Kaye and I hate myself.

 I’ve always judged people for saying “You need to love yourself before you love someone else” but I’ve always known this to be true.

 As much as it sucks that I’ve been perpetually single for my 22 years of existence and very much *rejected by the many crushes I’ve had during my hormonal adolescent years, I know that I’d rather be alone and happy than be in a relationship with someone and unhappy.

 *and by rejected, I mean that I knew who their crushes were and I was not it hahahaha

 Maybe it all stemmed from those “rejections”. A few of the many crushes I had during my growing years had one common factor, they liked the same person. I’ll give you this, this girl that they like was actually perfect. She was my friend at one point. She was nice (and not in a fake way, she was purest and kind-hearted and good-natured person you would encounter), she was beautiful (with or without makeup) and she was smart (she graduated salutatorian in grade school and first honourable mention during high school). To sum it up, this little lady was the whole package so I’m not even angry at her. I’m jealous but *genuinely* props to her because she knew people liked her but she was so humble about it and it didn’t feed her ego because she had her shit together and didn’t need validation from boys to fulfil her life. How cool is that?

 But, because all of them liked her, I felt like shit because I wanted to be her so bad. How do I be nice, beautiful and smart? I am neither of those three qualities and wow what is it like to be those? Maybe it was this realisation at a young and impressionable age that I am probably not meant for love. Add to that all the movies I’ve watched that placed such importance on conventional beauty that I believed that I was destined to be single forever because I’m ugly.

 I still think this today even though I don’t want to.

 This insecurity has evolved into a monster of overlapping mental issues that I’ve become incapable of, what you would think should be an innate quality, called “self-love”.

 I don’t think it would be fair for the other person to love me so much that it somehow compensates for the lack of love that I’m giving to myself. It’s selfish and unfair. Eventually, that person will resent me for it and because in my current state now, I don’t like it when people get attached to me (because of my abandonment issues), I will accuse them of being clingy and suffocating and we’ll break up and I don’t want to have to hate myself and deal with someone else hating me too. That’ll mess me up bad. I want to be a whole person and not this broken and insecure mess that I am. I don’t know how to love myself so I can’t expect myself to give that to someone else because what even is that? I’ve spent a good chunk of my life thinking that I don’t deserve happiness that I’ve believed it.

 So, I think it will be years of single-hood that I have to endure until I learn to better take care of myself and my emotions.

 I hope I fix myself soon.

 Because I want to know what it’s like to have and be someone’s “person”.

 Wouldn’t it be nice?

  Acknowledgement: Thank you to Complex for cascading this inner discussion and introducing me to Storm Force. I hope you find success in Game Design and please don’t kill Kevin. Maybe I’ll see you at Supanova or randomly on the street or never again but nevertheless, thank you. I feel better. We are moving forward.

[ramblingshit]

Jane Eyre - 1934 - 4/5

Vodka-less and tired and very cold, we begin our journey to the very first talkie version of Jane Eyre.

ow my bra hurts. I wish I had vodka. this is so sad. wait i have a rokerdelig brb. depression strikes syet again - i drank it earlier. alright lets get started in the 30s whoop. wow audio quality 10/10 lolol. opening with john reed hunting her down and she's blonde oh no she's been found.  holy fuck he's throwing shit at her - SLAP BITCH GET HIM. nooooooooNOOOO why is it errored. okay fixed. aunt mary? oh damn she collapsed cause he pitched that cup at her what an ass - bessie is reading to her naw. she's cut out of a lot of them and never shown so kind at the time she's actually. oh shit. ahaha 'they're bad and i hate them.' 'since you hate us so much i bet you'll be happy to know i'm sending you to an orphanage.' 'yes i am happy' looool. 'go away! GO AWAY! goodbye!" hell yeah lil Jane you stand up to that bish. not quite the snappy shebang she says in the others but very satisfying nonetheless - a lot braver and more obstinate love it. oh no her curls snip snip. ohh her hair is cute af. and very 30s ahaha what a coincidence. wow she talks back like hey ahah. she's looking down at lowood preacher dude down her nose ahah. didn't say hell? ahahaha omg this is great so far. she's the best lil Jane I think I've seen. ohh interesting way to show passing of time - the flipping book pages and the showing of the top of the next chapter - skipping quite a few ahead. skipped helen? straight to her ahah oh shit -- teaching. she's standing up to brocklehurst like no ones business. 'you're dismissed! get out!' 'I'll get out - gladly!' ohmygod she's great she's so great none of that simpering and passivity she's taking the world by the balls.  'you cruel dingy childbeater!' 'you ought to be tarred and feathered you ugly old crocodile!' lmao im in love with her. she walks off laughing and happy about being dismissed. miss temple loves her and gonna miss her so sweet, brocklehurst was like holy damn wtf. ahaha her drivers a drunk, fukn flying across the road she's like bye m8. she's proud and above him and annoyed she has to walk rather than die in a carriage crash. oh damn now she meets no? yeah she's not even made it --oh fuck that horse FLIPPED. she helps unprompted and isn't hesitant in talking back and speaking up oh my god she just stalked off after helping him up ahaha. ahaha oh shit the drunk driver works at thornfield and when they asked why she walked instead of taking the carriage she covered his ass and said she just wanted to walk through the meadows and he's like oh thank fuck thank you jesus she just rolls her eyes with a smile. she speaks 3 languages and draws and plays - very accomplished. he's adele's uncle? Samuel Poole ey what a g m8. and he warns her out of the blue to keep her door locked at night. that 30s makeup is crazy awesome. round face, rosy cheeks, long brows and dark eye makeup and lips. short hair. Adele gives her the tour. she's proud and self-assured. poh damn they're only allowed on one side of the house - sam is married to grace poole. just dunno why she's blonde? probs cause she's supposed to be like angelic? anyway she's gorgeous and the angles are nice and the lighting is good--andw what era are these dresses jfc there's no way she could afford that dress fuck. and who curled her hair and that's a low bow whats happening it looks like a southern gone with teh wind situation. he's smaller than she is. he's bathed in darkness - the light is dimmer on him than her. she's even got a necklace. they're not sitting by the fire. he was too busy looking at her to notice her giving his tea. awkward sips ahaha. it's got like a diamond on the necklace. he looks like he's squatting on that tiny chair. oh shit she's gonna sing instead of play. yikes i hope she can--she's literally taller than him. oh she's gonna play and sing. she looks like blanche is supposed to look? and of course she can sing - all framed by candlelight and hanging crystals. the audio is crackling ahah wow incredible they can do it at all - one of the first talkies damn. 'lovely' wow she a mary sue? please don't be a mary sue.sings and yeets outta there not even finished her tea. far out that dress is not doing it for me. what world would a governess be dressed like that? she wears nothing but white. and journalling is never a good idea. but my god she's gorgeous---lots of SCREAMINGGG. and they're telling Jane that its just a servant and its clearly not grace poole doing the screaming? Fairfax knows? Jane can't blame Grace? Jane's like not freaked about it - i suppose she's journalling about it. Adeles a 'mischief' lol nice. she's ran from her lesson and climbed a tree and now she's stuck up there and Jane like doesn't hesitate just scales that tree after her 'uncle edward help! my foot's caught!' 'her foot's caught' 'her foot's caught, so i gathered.' he seems so gentle and kind and pleasant. gets adele out of the tree - 'and where would you like this package delivered, miss eyre?' ahaha cute ooh they know when rochester is leaving to london. he's handsome i'll give him that, it's better --wait when was blanche introduced. asking him when he's getting married and he says next month and adele asks if he's gonna marry blanche and he avoids the question and she starts on but is interrupted by a frantically gesticulating Jane shaking her head, and she cuts herself off and skips away all innocvently lol til she slips moron kid hit her knee ahahaha what a dumbass. Jane's helping clean the chandelier? and Adele is helping as well, that's cool. wtf this kids a moron getting herself headdown stuck in a vase and JAne smashes that shit and snaps at Rochester's amused quip at breaking his shit and blanche laughs and Jane turns on her lol what a savage and storms off. dancing around her room to the sound of the music downstairs that's nice and cute I'd do the same thing ahaha. she's all petulant cause brought blanche who hasn't been introduced properly? is she gonna put her fancy dress on? no? i hope not. damn they're in a ball room? nice. blanche has dark hair and looks much older than any other, not a bad thing just different. they call her beautiful and pretty - not even trying to pretend she's plain and simple. he's suddenly all over her staring intensely and accompanying her into the room and now they're dancing no way? no? no. governesses and landowners don't dance? she's down here without adele. he's sad she didn't dress up - she didn't want to appear as anything than what she is : a governess! at least she's proud of it. he's amused. and charmed. she thinks he's mocking her. now they're being introduced - an interesting way of doing things but rather natural compared to immediately knowing each other. Adele's sitting here with some old guy talking shit about people wow that's mean. fkn kids and this lord ingram is encouraging the hell out of her ahaha. but when she taunts him suddenly its not so funny ahaha. blanche is nice but sarcastic? it's a wedding party ooooh? adele m8 letting things slip? it's 2am and she's dreaming of him - and damn she's going straight for the curtains with that candle and its not lighting? then we see an altogether put together lady return with teh candle to the room upstairs before crazy cackling. god Jane is pretty. oh shit the house is on fire. nah just his room. there's no dramatic music - yes! she's the one to tear down the curtains and open the window - she's legit the most assertive main character i've seen - he's woken up and the fire is like already out. she's got this sorted all he has to do is give her a blanket 'why didn't you call for help?' 'I didn't think it necessary...' noice. here have some alcohol - from the same cup: might as well kiss. she burnt her hands and HE KISSED THEM. she's like bye. she is outies not taking any of his affections like she got better things to do, like sleep. he's in her room? he brought her a book. they're standing very close. he wants her to help redecorate the west wing - he's quite sure he's getting married in a month and that she'll have things to suit the lady's taste. eyeyeyeyyy. its a pupppppppppppyyyyy. oh it's adele's room. ohmygod so fuckin cute rochester is putting adele to bed and she's saying that she wants an aunt that she can choose and she wants it to be miss eyre and he says she wont have them and she says he has to ask her and she'll make sure she says yes. 'that'd be very nice'. cute af ma8. 'don't forget to ask her!' he grins happily. she chooses a cutain (?) and rochester jumps in 'we prefer this one!', and ol mate says 'i congratulate the lady on her discerning taste - the room will look delightful!' what a thing to say. she looks fkn miserable lolol she thinks she's choosing shit out for blanche - they're choosing out jewels now. she's fkn despondent. she flees the jewellers, he follows her and she cries and tells him she's off on holiday. he's not happy like did you think that would go well?? she's not even saying goodbye to him ahaha bye adele and fairfax nevermind here he is marching up the stairs weren't you gon' say goodbye????? tajes her bags and back upstairs to show her the room she designed? she loves it and he's happy and taking the coat off - 'it's incomplete' 'incomplete? everything seems to be in its proper place - what's missing?' 'you.' ohmygodddddddd. 'can't you see i've been falling in love with you all of this time?' rochester yaaaassss. she's not about to argue lol. whoops - 'you must never decieve me again' she chides lovingly and he laughs and shakes his head. like duuuuude i haven't forgotten this is Jane Eyre. okay he's very handsome and she's gorgeous what a lovely couple. now she's dressed in enormous dresses and jewels much more fitting now I suppose, though she did just say she didn't want to be lavished and pampered. oh what the fuck lol what 'edward my husband!' ahaha oh shit bertha just popped nicely out of nowhereeeee -'you can't separate me from my husband again! no one shall!' oh shit. oh shit. wow that was so brushed over - 1930s sensibilities??? Jane's like uhhhh what was that explain yourself he's like I love you you make me so happy i didn't want to tell you I was married to a psycho that I keep in the attic and take care of. she almost forgave him then he rushed off to help with his violent wife - what she gon do?? she waiting forever surely not she's better than that. yas ohmygod is she gone? SHES GONE AHAHAHA YAS DAMN GO GIRL. she wrote a goodbye note to Adele but not him ahaha savage I love her. ohh a star wars cut noice. he's just gon sit in his library? took mrs fairfax to be like yo dude she couldn't have gone very far ahah she's hiding from him in the shadows all misery and rain. searching for her in the dark- thornfield's on fire! oh yikes it's seriously on fire.  get out of there ya;ll. it's so odd not to have any action music oh damn he's going into the house to get bertha he's in his tophat ahaha fire effects! fire effects! fire effects! whoo. she's found herself in a soup kitchen very nice Jane you're an angel. she's going to india huh oh damn we speeding through this bit - 30 seconds after we meet Rivers he's proposing ahaha. she looks insulted, thanks him and storms out. she's pouring soup an hour before her wedding to Rivers and Sam's just popped up looking fucked uppp. i think he's just drunk tbh. bertha burned to death. Jane's frantic and upset m8 and yeah Sam's drunk af. so JAne went to him - he's blind and angry and an't see her and she's crying and he's shocked my god he's in the light and he's in the dark and he's reaching toward the light and touching her face - lol she raced back to thornfield in a day. lol you want some tea Eyre, it's nice for you to call. he's convinced ---ohhhhh--- "strange, you pity me when I'm blind and yet when I was worse than blind you had no mercy.' he's sending her awayyyyy noo he literally just told her they never belonged to each other and they never did like damn son that is fuckin colldddddd. she's so emotional and he's like yep I guess. She was awesome, he was handsome and had his fine moments. It was cute af m8 noice.