#ohhhh you gonna go tell Inej on me? gonna go tell Kaz?

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Concept: The cheesecake Chandler & Rachel subplot from s7e11 of Friends except it’s Nina & Wylan

[thesvenqueen]

S&B Episode 6

- you're a horrible liar bro - um, excuse me, they are NOT his crew RUDE - buuuuuuuusted - NINA?!?! GIRL WHAT??????? - Hahaha oh heyyyyy - Oh Inej...Kaz bout to be fucking FURIOUS yo - Yikes Fedyor... - THEY KNOW OF MATTHIAS?!?!?! NOOOOO - Aw HELL YEAH GIVE ME MORE NINA & MATTHIAS CONTENT LETS GOOOOO - Matthias, get on the damn board and stfu - I mean, Zoya you are not wrong but also you in daaaanger girl just saying that hooooo boy - no the fuck you don't. more manipulation ughhhhh stooooop - DAMN ZOYA AND HIM HAD A THING?!?!?! SHEEEEEEEEEEEESH - ah, he manipulated her too my god dude - MAL!!!!!!! - take it offfffff TAKE IF OFFFFFFF - YEEEES - "You're just a man, like all the others" I BEG TO DIFFER THAT MAN IS FINE AS FUCK HELLO?!?!?! - HA I saw that lick of your lips Nina, HARD same - You're both fucking idiots my god - Yeahhhh you like her hehehe - .....well this argument is fun - "thanking you for finding me" "Always. I'll always find you" now KISS you fools - oh well, parents are fighting...again. fuck. - oooo love the slgith of hand yes yes - I mean...he has a point? - ooop.....yeah, so about the club >.> - "I'm sorry it took me this long to see you Alina. But I see you now" OH that's so SWEET. - HA Nina such a tease, I love you - "No it's natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet oh, there you stand" HAHA YESSSS I loved that line from the book - Awww Matthias' laugh is adorable I love it - oh...oh no - uhh...hey guys lmao nice to see y'all - Jesper vs Ivan..interesting - Jesper really playing with his food over here omg - "You're a--" yep, he is, you are completely right sir - Inej really said aight, bet, then you can die - KAZ VS DARKLING OH SHIT LETS GOOOOO - TELL HIM KAZ - AHHHHHHH KAZ OUTSMARTED THE DARKLING OH SHIIIT HAHAHAHA THATS MY BOY - Also where the fuck did you get that flash bomb Kaz >.> - Haha yep, he does not at all wanna like you Nina but he already does - AHHHH TOLD YOU SO - THE TEASING I CAN NOT - And here is where the dynamic completely changes and ohhhh my shipper heart - THE INTRODUCTION I CAN NOT FUCK. IMMA BURST - He put the fucking coat around her, I CAN NOT IMMA DIE NOW BYE - bruh, the struggle on Kaz' face to help Inej but knowing he literally is unable to just UGH KILL ME - Oh Kaz big mad, so we gonna steal the Darkling's carriage hahaha love it. He looks so incredibly mad too, don't hurt his..investments lmao - DAVID HAHAHAHAHA I fucking love you you precious bean I swear to god - Noooot the name sliiiiip - nah we know you jealous Mal lol - oop, he knows. that's not good Ok, I know people complained about envisioned Nina to be different than what Danielle but I have to say, she is killing this role and is a FANTASTIC Nina. Also, seeing someone that look similar to my body type just..makes me so happy. Again, I know representation matters and I completely agree and understand people's annoyance/anger towards the depiction of Nina here but for me, personally, I love it and love Danielle completely. And Matthias, my main stupid lump of muscle, keep doing you cause D A M N. Seeing how Kaz is making rash decisions is not so out of character as, again, he is younger here than in the books so him putting the crow club up as collateral for Inej makes sense. Could be how, in the future, after this adventure he ends up working for Haskell. I do love them working out the kinks of their crew though, learnign to trust the other and that though they believe in other things, doesn't mean they can't work together. Though, I will say, Kaz had a slight point that this job may not have been the best one for Inej if she was going to let her faith lead the way. complicatedddddd. The reunion between Mal and Alina was FAR MORE satisfying than in the books because we've seen BOTH of their journeys to get there, one that was finally set directly towards the other while another was pulled askew but led back in the right direction again. It's more wholsome, satisfying in a sense than it was when reading it as you get a full sense of what both of them are doing, especially Mal. The

realization as well from the Darkling that Alina RAN, Ben depicts him brilliantly. I still hate him SO much as he manipulates everyone around him to gain what he wants, including Zoya which poor thing, but I have to say Ben is kiiiiiilling it for sure.

The casting, seriously, is absolutely perfect for everyone. Which is incredibly rare for book addaptations but fr, they nailed it here.

[teacup-tyrant]

SHADOW & BONE REVIEW: EP 2

On this episode: Kaz and Inej have a lovers quarrel, I still love editing and scene transitions, Pekka Rollins is a bag of dicks, and a bunch of really good quotes.

- Oh ok the title screens are all different, cool

- Again with the scene transitions mimicking body movements, good editing, good editing

- Oh damn Kaz is scrambling to make a plan and then him and Inej are fighting, I love it. AHA and he feels bad about it when she walks away. (My roommate just woke up and I had to rewind this part and be like "LOOK, LOOK AT THEM." her response to Kaz was: *shakes head* "Idiot." Lololol)

- If y’all thought Kaz was a drama queen HAH he is nothing compared to the Darkling. Full disclosure, I don’t like the Darkling so this will be me seeing if Ben can change my mind. God, his eyes are SO BIG, it's like he’s wearing circle lenses but he isn’t.

- YES, FIRST CANE WALLOPING, GET EM BOY-O!!! Oh Jesus, I yelled when they smashed Kaz's face on the desk. YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIS CANE, I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF. That is some good rage in Kaz's eyes there, as there should be with Pekka.

-“And dump you in the harbor” Pekka says, omfg this hurts meeee, this hurts me so much. Book readers, we know how important that was

- "Never make decisions out of fear, only out of spite." AHAHA that is an excellent Kazy line, 10/10 would spite again

- Scene transitions on the word “go.” Sorry, I’m going to be on about their scene transitions the entire time, get used to it

-There’s kind of a mix of various accents between everyone and every country and I like that

- Is that a fucking furry outside the Menagerie, Jesus Christ ahahaha. Ok laughing over, this scene is going to break me I just know it

- Ah yes, a removing of all the hidden knives trope scene. Classic.

- Why did she call Inej "little bird?" No no Nina is a bird. Should she not have called Inej a lynx?

- I do really like Heleen's office though. I like her peacock stained glass window.

- Ayyy he’s a slaver, why not kill him? 2 years down the line and Inej would do that job for nothing. So I suppose this is the... her getting to that stage part. This is pre-SoC Inej, remember. No killing. Yet.

- Also, jfc this one 6 hour night is going to last forever isn’t it?

- Ok so apparently Jesper and Inej have some secrets about each other they know and then Kaz appears and WOOOOSH goodbye she is gone

- Noooo I was enjoying these scenes so much, I I don’t want to go back to Ravka yet, let me stay here in Ketterdam :(

- Fedyor is cute. I like him and I like his accent, I wish they all sounded like him

- Shaky cam for inside a carriage always makes it more believable, good good

- Oh a tree in the road, you say? Call Kaz, he’ll help, he’ll get her outa there

- So this is all wonderfully violent so far, which made Netflix give it its adult rating I assume and I’m loving it ahaha sorry.

- Ohhhh the Druskelle are here! I just heard one yell "drusje." NICE

- "Listen to their heartbeats, how many are there." Ohhh that is a clever use of grisha power, I like that

- Oh shit, Darkling with a running dismount, epic

- I don’t like how these Fjerdians look like thugs. Maybe it’s just their camouflage uniforms. But I pictured them more... regal-looking since Druskelle are such an honorable straight-laced bunch. Uniforms could have reinforced that trait

- Oh my god, the cut just sliced that dude in half. Brutal.

- Jesper said he wants a demo man; Wesper stans are frothing at the mouth

- I don’t like how much they call Kaz "boss." Maybe that' because I don’t want him being the boss because he shouldn’t be a boss yet, but that’s just my book brain taking

- "That’s evil." "It’s what I would do." Hahahaaaaa yes, Kaz, tell us more about how evil you are. And also he touched his arm and Kaz was like WOAH WOAH, STEADY ON

- So Inej refuses to kill, does she? Well that’s gonna change and it’s gonna be tragic and painful. I’m here for it eh heh heh

- Even the Darkling's hankie is black. So on brand.

- Oh he pronounced Druskelle correctly. Good job, considering Ben Barnes recorded himself saying all the words and sent it to the entire cast. He was Production Dad to all these young fresh actors and I just think that’s beautiful.

- Is he riding a Frisian? I need to know. For science. Because goddamn if those horses not the most beautiful in the entire world. They are literally hair goals.

- Was that just SOME RANDOM DUDE riding a horse that was used in every promo shot?!?! Ahahaha that’s hilarious. It’s not Kaz in a fancy coat sorry lololol

- POPPY. An instant favorite new character for everyone. "Yes, you snoop." This is fucking amazing, best scene of this episode hands down

- Little Palace still looks French with Russian onion domes slapped on top. Ok.

- The Darkling has such a haughty presence. His nose is always up in the air. Yes, you're better than everyone else, we get it. Also, I cannot stress how much I love the Ravka theme music

- Oh Alina my girl, let me hug you. I would like to live in her bedroom; I would host so many tea parties

- "When our closest friend is in trouble we do foolish things." Cuts to Kaz. LOL. More magical editing at work.

- Oh god, Kaz just staked the Crow Club on her.

- I’m glad we’re staying in Ketterdam for a while and not like immediately fucking off to Ravka bc that’s a little what it felt like in SoC. Because I love Ketterdam and I want to stay there as much as possible. Also, my autocorrect keeps trying to change it to Rotterdam and yep yep, it's right but also, no.

- Ok. Lemme dish here for a sec. MY THEORY about how he’s the boss and not per Haskell how we’re going to get there by the end of the series is coming together. Helen says it’s “all yours to lose” and I think he IS going to lose it and that’s how we’re going to get to the dregs. Somehow Haskell will take over the gang and the club and he’ll hold Inejs contact and Kaz is going to have to work his way back up to get it. Calling it now.

- (*edit - so in hindsight... I guess Kaz did actually lose it? Until Alina gives him some fancy jewelry to sell in a deus ex machina move. We don't really know what else happened while they were away. Idk. Jury's still out. What do you think of my theory?)

ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | ep7 | ep8

[thesvenqueen]

on to the next one, yeah yeah

S&B Episode 5

- ohhhh love this title slide yes yes - damn can y'all stop nearly killing Mal for one episode sheesh I get he is a soldier but my god dude - "no guns, no knives, no weapons of any kind" HA sure sure - YES. thank you for slightly teasing what the fuck the king is doing to poor Genya that fucking pig - "I want you to be careful...Poweful men." YES GENYA. I really, truly think Genya was ready to be Alina's friend more that the Darkling's spy but she just...couldn't do it but oh that warning says so much yo. SO MUCH. - D A V I D!!!!!! HI DAVID!!!! - Genya, I saw that slip up lmao you're adorableeeee - Bro, they are barely talking to each other but god they are flirting so MUCH RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD - yes she was talking to you David you dork - I fully appreciate them showing Kaz struggling to walk with his leg. I was nervous they'd just, ignore it but I'm so so happy they made sure to show it was difficult for him to walk without his cane after a long time. bless. - Jesper, you fucking flirt - lol never doubt Jesper on his knowledge of shit, he knows exactly what he's talking about - "or two hats" Alina lol - Oh Fedyor, you're adorable and BETTER HALF?!?! YOU'RE DATING IVAN OMG - Kaz wut?....wait.....there is a plan within a plan isn't there? - Ivan? funny? sure. - mmmm the manipulation and isolation from what she's known is complete and now there is just...the Darkling. - *eye roll* ughhhhhhh gross. - YOU ARE SUCH A FLIRT JESPER....and a good one at that, goodness - "I'm a terrible actor" boy that is a LIE - gd Zoya CHILL - mmmm, yeah that look tells me there is def a plan within the plan - WHERE. IS. YOUR. YOUNGEST. SON. BITCH. - Damn Alina said "fuck Mal" and is all confident now lol alright then, whatever works I guess - DAVIDDD you precious bean, I see you boy. That smile at Genya was so cute - Kaz, I uh, think you about to be proven wrong bout that but sure - She'll bring honor to us alllllllll - Oh Inej's reaction to Alina, bless it - Ok Jesper, get you some!! but now go date Wylan lmao - MAL!! YOU MADE IT! - preacher man can you just...not - yeah yeah Mal is here bitch what you gonna do? - Mal sensing the desperation, he knows something is up. Good move on bargaining to see her before telling him where it is - He answered you QUICK - Mmmm I feel like you weren't gonna tell her you manipulative git - I KNEW HE WAS UP TO SOMETHING WAS UP WITH HIM!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT THAT SNEAKY CONDUCTOR BITCH - Oh poor Marie :( - Yes Kaz, my boy KNEW - UGH You only knew about those flowers from Mal you fucking UGHHHHHHHHHH - plan f?? HA Kaz def has a plan Z at this point - Oh Mal you in danger boy - DAMN MAL I TAKE THAT BACK MY GOD BOY - gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross - he just happened to leave out the fact Mal is legit down the hall, the man she legit has been missing for MONTHS, so he could make out with her and pull her in more, UGH manipulating gross motherfucker - gotta admit that kiss before he left though, smooth but also GROSS - heeeeey Baghra, sorry you had to witness that lmao - Alina's face when she realizes she's been manipulated though, god that hurts. I really hate it for her - girl why do you never LISTEN JESUS - Limping man? bitch, who the fuck you talking to?? - THERES THE DIRTYHANDS I KNOW AND LOVE YES - God having to remember this is 3 years before Kaz becomes hella ruthless, much more than he is in the books and god getting the glimpse of that was *chefs kiss* - I N E J OH MY GOD SHE KILLED FOR HIM HOLY SHIT - Oh you could tell Kaz wanted to hold & comfort her but couldn't do it ughhhh - hehehehe yeah your girl gone bitch - oh shit mom and son going at IT. Get him Baghra - HAHAHA JESPER'S REACTION TO ALINA GETTING IN THE CARRIAGE I CAN'T HAHAHAHA - "just ask" Kaz is literally about to beat the shit out of you just tell him

SUCH. A. GOOD. EPISODE. WOWOWOWOWOW. The truth is finally coming out on the Darkling and it's beginning to crumble, lets gooooo. Also, the Wraith & Dirtyhands are beginning to emerge lets yeah yeah yeah I love it!!

[thesvenqueen]

TWO MORE TO GOOOO

S&B Episode 7

- OHHH a Jesper title card HELL YEA I LOVE IT - ughhhhh who CARES for this backstory because it's NOT me - but also MORE BEN YEE - sheesh Ben that acting boi, I nearly feel sorry for your character...nearly.. - S H E E S H heads will roll apparently - I mean, Baghra is not wrong. you leaned on FEAR instead of just earning RESPECT - WHY DOES NO ONE EVER LISTEN TO BAGHRA OMG if everyone would have just listened to Bagrha we wouldn't fucking be here - yeah y'all fucked - well, that went super well - DAMN he really carried Baghra that far SHEEEEEESH - "I made soemthing" yeah no shit - You can see Kaz struggling so hard to help Inej but his phobia just not allowing him to and my god, Freddy fucking Carter understood the assignment - Freddy Carter, Amita Suman & Kit Young UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT PERFECTLY - "I'd miss me too. I'm fantastic." you shit lmao - I didn't mention this last time but the way they show Mal being able to hear/detect the stag is actually super smart and will def help with future stuff too. brilliant little thing to add - oh isn't he BEAUTIFUL - I mean, as someone that used to hunt, I genuinely would not want to shoot the stag. it's too beautiful - Ivan you shit head wtf - OH FFS CAN WE STOP NEARLY KILLING MAL SO MUCH JESUS - dramatic ass entrance for such a dramatic ass piece of shit lmao - WAS THAT NECESSARY?!? - Awww, thanks for fixing the cane Jesper bb - "what else is there?" idk how about telling her HOW YOU FEEL AND HOW YOU NEED HER FFS KAZ COME ONNNNNN - daaaaaaamn Kaz admitting he was wrong for once, WILD - MY CROWS SHUT UP IMMA CRY - "No saint ever watched over me. Not like you have." TATTOO THIS ON ME NOW. I AM DYING OVER THIS SO MUCH I AM AHHHHHHHHH - "I can't go back to the Menagerie" "You won't." GIRL YOU THINK HE GONNA LET YOU GO BACK WITHOUT FIGHTING FOR YOU DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU TALKING TO????? - DAVID NOOOO. - I mean, she right. nothing has been up to her since the beginning. - M A N I P U L A T O R - that is NOT an answer homie. you avoided the one question she fucking needed an answer to ughhhhh - OHHHH this is a cool concept. in the books you hear ALina's thoughts and feelings of how she felt him controlling her powers, but that's not really possible hear so adding the little bit of the antler onto the darkling's hand to show he has control....I like it!! keeps the audience understanding whats going on - David, bb, I don't blame you at all but also DAMN IT WHY YOU SO SMART - "Jes?!" THIS WHOLE SCENE I AM DYINGGGGGG THAT SLOW TURN TO INEJ I CAN'T - "It's Suli, for friendship!" JESPER'S FUCKING FACE & THE LITTLE FEET KICKS HE KNOWS ITS BUGGING KAZ AND HE LOVES IT IM CRYINGGGG OH MY GOD - I could legit rewatch this scene over and over again for days, it's too fucking good I cannot - GENYA - .....well this blows - Oh Genya, oh sweet Genya I am SO sorry. but he def put you in that position and for SURE our are his pawn dude come ON. He placed you with Alina for a fucking REASON - well Jesper loves a bit of role play sooooooo - "I'm a man of my word" Oh PUH-LEASE - you only appreciate the POWER she brings you, stfu - "you are a child" and you're a git - TELL HIM MAL - ZAMN ZADDY, you look fly af - GASP MILO!!! HOW?!? - THAT IS YOUR MOTHER YOU RUDE ASS BITCH - telling half truths is still L Y I N G - cool motives, still shitty - "Make me your villain" Done and done sir, thanksssssss - LOOKED OLDER?!?! stfu and KAZ'S FACE IN THE BACK OMG y'all are such shit I can NOT - L I A R. again, all these fucking LIES and you don't get why she doesn't trust you - NO MOURNERS, NO FUNERALS

The dynamic between the crows UGH I can not talk about it ENOUGH. The casting is absolutely perfect for them, honest to god! Ben is absolutely killing it though, hate the character which means he's doing an amazing job. GOD I really am going to be rewatching this for a third time now aren't I?